#like i wish i could get rid of it entirely but i need the time jump and the beginning and end of the day - its just the middle that needs

[justmymindandstuff]

Would thou spare a mere peasant a moment??

Imagine Targ!reader visiting the wall with Cregan (similar moment he had with Jace, and maybe Jace is there too, it’s up to you)

And reader forces her dragon to go beyond the wall by jumping off the top of it

I’ll leave the rest to you 😚❤️

jump scare - Cregan Stark x TargaryenReader

summary: you and your twin Jacaerys follow Cregans invitation to the wall. As your Dragon refused to fly over the wall he sees a glimps of your temper. At that moment he knows that you, as the future Lady Stark, will bring trouble into Winterfells halls.

words: 2.691

warnings: kissing, Cregan has a crush (but he doesn´t know it)

a/n: Reader is Rhaenyras daughter and described with black hair and purple eyes// no use of Y/N// English is not my first language // not proofread

I love this idea so much, soo thank you anon🧡, but I had a hard time writing this, so it´s a bit short and I not completely like how it came out

anyways I hope you like it.

Have fun and be kind 🧡

requests are open// main masterlist// hotd masterlist

Cregan shifts from one foot to the other as the elevator slowly jerks up the Wall. The brothers of the Night's Watch and Castle Black grow smaller beneath him. His breath forms white clouds in the cold air. The Warden of the North tries to get rid of his inner restlessness. He wishes the elevator would go faster, while at the same time hoping this ride would never end.

At the top of the wall, he will soon meet the Prince and Princess of the Seven Kingdoms again, of course with their two dragons.

Jacaerys and you landed in Winterfell's courtyard a few days ago with Vermax and Veraxes. And you brought war with you. At the thought, Cregan's insides twist.

Jacaerys made him an offer on behalf of his mother: Cregan and his men would ride south for the queen and support her claim, in exchange for a marriage with the princess. Rhaenyra Targaryen gives him her only daughter as a wife.

Cregan knows he can't refuse such an offer. Nobody turn down a Targaryen offer.

And he could have done worse.

He doesn't like the thought, but he knows he could have done worse. His future wife is beautiful. Long black hair that stands in stark contrast to your pale skin, delicate features, and those sparkling eyes. There is something in it, Cregan can't quite put his finger on it yet. You have a fire, a wildness behind your eyes that Cregan has never seen before.

A woman like you is actually worth his entire army. Cregan would theoretically have to arm every man, woman, and child in the North and send them south to redeem his debt.

But he can't.

He can only send 2,000 men, Greybeards. Cregan cannot spare more, he needs his men here for the coming winter. And like his House words are saying: winter is coming.

That's the reason why you are here, that's the reason for Cregan's invitation to the Wall. You and your brother need to understand why he can't send more men. You both need to see it. Before Cregan takes you as his wife in a few days at Goodswood of Winterfell and thus seals the pact of ice and fire.

"It is an honor for me to be able to fulfill my duty, and Winterfell is very beautiful. I look forward to making it my home."

More than that, you haven't said about your marriage. Cregan doesn't know if you really mean it or if you have memorized these words, because your mother told you so. He hopes you meant it.

He can't figure you out. In the past few days, Cregan was able to spend a little time with you, but he hasn't really gotten to know you yet. Also because Jacaerys was present at each of your meetings, of course Cregan would never do anything that would endanger your honor and reputation. He is a Stark, a man of honor. That's why you two always have your brother as achaperone.

What Cregan has learned in the short time is that you are definitely not a little princess who needs to be rescued from a tower.

You train with swords, fly almost daily on your dragon, can curse like a sailor, and are not too shy to give your brother a piece of your mind everytime he gets on your nerves.

On the other hand, you have a razor-sharp mind, smile kindly at Cregan, dance skillfully and make every move with an elegance that only a Targaryen princess possesses.

You attract him like light attracts a moth. Your attractiveness has captured him, and the fragments of your being that you show him only make him more curious about the rest. He wants to get to know you, everything about you. Cregan can hardly think of you without his thoughts and feelings swirling around inside him like a storm.

A loud crack next to him makes the Warden of the North flinch and snaps him out of his thoughts. Cregan looks to the side. Veraxes slams his claws into the ice of the Wall with full force, her body crashs against it, and the Wall seems to tremble under the impact. Cregan hears you curse loudly in a foreign language, high valyrian, he is sure. Jacaerys' laughter rings out above him and Vermax flies over him before the dragon lands on the wall, noticeably gentler than Veraxes.

Cregan takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment. He pushes all thoughts of you and your future marriage aside. One step at a time. First he must show you what the Night's Watch and House Stark do for centuries, protecting the realm before the dangers beyond the Wall.

The elevator stops at the top, the doors open. Cregan allows himself two more heartbeats to gather himself, then steps outside onto the Wall.

Immediately, the cold wind whips around his ears, but apart from a brief shiver it doesn´t bothered him.

Veraxes climbs the Wall, her claws break off large pieces of ice that fall down. Cregan hopes that no one gets hit. You and your dragon arrive at the top and you place Veraxes next to Vermax. You slide down her wing and land next to your twin brother, snow swirling around your boots.

Cregan's gaze shifts from you to the dragons. Vermax and Veraxes, twin dragons you told him on the first evening, both dragons hatched from the eggs in you and your brothers cribs.

The dragons make whistling sounds, turning their heads. They seem nervous. The young Lord finds his own thoughts ridiculous in the next moment. What could possibly make dragons nervous?

Cregan has to swallow and takes the last steps towards his royal guests. The siblings are completely engrossed in their usual bickering.

"I told you she wouldn't fly over." laughs Jacaerys, you jab him in the stomach and then jump two steps to the side so his counterattack doesn't hit you.

"She'll do it." you say as you look over the edge of the Wall.

"Please don't go so close to the edge." the prince's voice sounds alarmed.

"Don't be such a coward, Jacey."

"Don't call me that. I'm not a little kid anymore." the prince snaps.

"Then don't act like one." you say dry and still don't take a step away from the edge. On the contrary, you push your feet a little closer to the edge, the tips of your boots no longer have any grip.

Cregan cleared his throat to get your attention. "My Lady, your brother is right. You shouldn't stand so close to the edge of the wall."

You tilt your head slightly, a hint of a smile dancing on your full lips. "Good thing you'll only be my husband in three days My Lord and only then you can give me orders." you say, your cheerful tone doesn´t match your bitter words.

Cregan feels as if you had hit him in the stomach and looks helplessly at Jacaerys, but he just shrugs and gives him an apologetic smile.

Suddenly, the dragons move. Cregan manages at the last second to prevent himself from flinching as Vermax's claw strikes the ice beside him. The dragons make whistling noises again, Veraxes restlessly lashes her tail back and forth.

Cregan looks at the twins. "Is something wrong with them?" he can't manage to suppress the concern in his voice.

You look at him, smile again as if your last comment had never been made. "Do you know the story of Queen Alysanne Targaryen?" you ask instead of answering.

Cregan tries not to show his confusion about your behavior and nods. Everyone knows the story: The queen wanted to fly over the wall with her dragon, the dragon refused. That has never happened before.

"My dearest sister here thought she was better than Queen Alysanne and wanted to fly Veraxes over the Wall."

"I didn't think I´m better than Queen Alysanne." you interrupt your brother, but he simply ignores you. The prince turns directly to Cregan.

"You saw how well the attempt worked."

Cregan furrows his brow. "So the dragons refuse to fly over the Wall?" he asks just to be sure.

"Obviously. They don't like it here." you say, again your gaze goes over the edge downwards. "7000 feet, right?"

"Yes, My Lady," Cregan confirms. He doesn't know if his uneasy feeling comes from the fact that you are half leaning over the edge of the Wall or from the fact that the dragons refuse to fly over it. It doesn't matter right know. The young Lord has to swallow and suppress the urge to go to you and pull you away from the wall.

The dragons also lean further forward, but their noses never go beyond the edge of the Wall. You and Jace watch your monsters closely as they move. While Jacaerys looks worried, you are curious.

Cregan seizes the moment and looks at you. The winter sun shines on you, makes you glow, and gets caught in your dark braids. Your cheeks and nose are slightly reddened from the cold up here. Cregan's fingertips tingle slightl as the desire arises to caress the soft skin of your cheek.

Would you lean into his touch? Or slap his hand away? Cregan has no idea, but he's eager to find out. Again, he has to pull himself together to come back into the moment. Again, he reminds himself: one step at a time.

"Forget it, sister. Silverwing didn't fly over the Wall, Veraxes will do it neither." Jacaerys sounds annoyed. Cregan sees out of the corner of his eye as he shifts his weight slightly forward, ready to catch you if you trip.

"Just because you can't get Vermax to do it." you say, the challenge clear in your tone and the way your eyes sparkle. Cregan has the feeling that you are hatching something, and the way your gaze goes from him to your brother tells him that it won't be anything good.

"Veraxes won't fly over it either." Jacaerys insists.

A mischievous grin appears on your face, your intentions now clearly visible. "Bet?" you ask, turning to your brother. You say something in high valyrian that Cregan doesn't understand.

The next second you wink at him, spread your arms and let yourself fall backward from the Wall.

Cregan's heart stops for a moment, Jacaerys calls your name, his voice trembling. Both men run forward, but of course, neither of them manages to hold onto you anymore. Cregan looks over the edge and sees you falling quickly. His entire body tenses up in fear. Not only is he watching you fall to your own death, but it's happening under his watch as well. The Dragon Queen would probably turn the entire North to ashes if she hears that her only daughter has met her end in the North.

And he would never hear your melodic laughter again, Cregan immediately gets annoyed by this inappropriate thought.

Suddenly, he is caught by a gust of wind and almost falls off the wall himself as Veraxes flies just a few centimeters past him and throws himself after you. The dragon lets out a cry that sounds angry and desperate. The sound reminds Cregan of a mother weeping for her frozen baby.

"I'll kill her." Jacaerys murmurs quietly next to Cregan as they watch your dragon catch up with you, fly under you, so you land on her saddle. Cregan is sure that must have hurt.

Veraxes spreads her wings and catches her fall, the Lord of Winterfell isn't quite sure how much space there is left to the ground but from up here it doesn't look like much.

He has to take a deep breath, relief flooding through him. Thank the gods you're not dead.

You turn your dragon vertically and fly steeply up the wall. As you shoot past Cregan, he flinches a step back but can't take his eyes off you.

You throw your head back and laugh a loud, joyful laugh. The wind tousles your braids, and the winter sun makes your eyes sparkle. And there it is again, that freedom, that wildness in your gaze. Cregan's heart skips a beat at the sight. By all the gods, he knows in that moment that you are fearless, maybe a little insane, but definitely fearless. You will fit well in the North, you will fit well with him.

Cregan is impressed, he can't help but stare at and admire you as you let your Dragon land right next to Cregan at the edge of the wall. You are still laughing.

Veraxes stands so close that the sulfur smell rises to his nose and he feels the warmth of the dragon. Your dragon blows hot air from its nostrils, accompanied by a rumbling noise from its throat that makes Cregan's neck hairs stand on end. Her tail crashes against the ice on the other side, causing the ice under his feets to tremble. You are sitting on her back and sticking your tongue out at your twin.

"I told you so." you say, still laughing at Jacaerys and his shocked face.

"I swear to you if mother..." begins the prunce, but you raise your hand to interrupt him.

"You're just angry because you lost the bet." you say. "And besides, in a few days I won't be Mother's concern anymore."

Jacaerys opens his mouth to say something, but no sound comes from his throat. Then he looks at Cregan, and his neck turns slightly red.

"My Lord future husband." you break the silence with a gentle voice, and Cregan immediately turns to you. "A helping hand?"

His feelings are completely mixed up, still he steps closer to Veraxes without thinking, extends his hand to you and helps you dismount from your dragon. Even though you all know that you don't need help.

You land right in front of him, so close that he can make out the different shades of purple in your eyes. Your pleasant scent envelops him, for two heartbeats Cregan forgets everything around you. He recognizes that wild sparkle in your eyes again, and before he can react you stand on your tiptoes place your hand on the back of his neck and pull him in for a kiss. When your lips meet, the brief moment of surprise is dispelled by a hot shiver that runs through his body. Instinctively, his hand reaches for your hip and he pulls you closer to him. Your soft lips move perfectly against his, and his heart begins to beat faster at the sensation.

You part breathlessly from each other, for a brief moment you look deeply into his eyes. A smile dances around your lips. Cregans can't help but smile with you, this time it's him who winks. He is rewarded with a radiant smile from you. Cregan blinks, and the moment is gone.

While you turn back to your brother, Cregan has to take a deep breath to calm his heartbeat.

"Brother. It was nice to beat you again." you spit at Jacaerys and lift your chin. But when you turn back to Cregan there is a soft smile on your face, which makes his heart stumble again. "My Lord. Please excuse me. I want to look at the rest of the Wall." you nod to him and then turn away.

The Lord of Winterfell can do nothing but stare after you as you walk along the wall. You don't even have to call Veraxes, she takes off again and flies north of the Wall beside you.

Cregan looks at the prince again, fearing for a heartbeat that Jacaerys will now burn him with Vermax. After all, Cregan has dishonored his sister.

The prince, however, appears more annoyed than angry. Jacaerys bites the inside of his cheek and shakes his head slightly. "Good luck with her, Lord Stark. She only causes headaches." he says then.

"Aye, probably." says Cregan, but can't suppress a grin. Yes, you mean trouble, but Cregan is ready for this journey. He is looking forward to it.

[etherealrin]

Hey! Love your works, it's really nice to read them and I just love your style💖, may I request an isagi x reader but the reader is kaiser's little sibling? It sounds fun ☺️

⋆｡˚꩜ a comprehensive tutorial on how to piss off michael kaiser in his penthouse; by yoichi isagi.

yoichi isagi just wants to hang out with you...but your brother is making it quite uncomfortable

warnings: slight violent descriptions (as a joke), michael kaiser gives you no privacy, one mention of google translated german // wc: 957

note: i was giggling the entire time writing this LMAOO imo such a funny dynamic, the rivalry goes crazy.

your bubbly laughs that echo through the penthouse allow isagi to relax, just a little bit. the environment is new to him, and he’s afraid that the smallest slip-up will result in his head being chopped off by one of the rather large, menacing butcher knives lined against the marble kitchen walls.

but what’s even more threatening is the way kaiser is glaring at him, blue gaze more piercing than any dagger.

“micha, you’re making yoi uncomfortable,” you begin, shooting the blonde haired man your own look of annoyance. you turn your attention away from the mixing bowl in front of you to interlace your fingers with yoichi’s, trying to offer him some comfort. isagi wonders if theres nervous sweat on them.

“he’s in my penthouse, with my sibling? am i meant to leave him unattended, to let this donkey roam around with free will?” kaiser huffs, arms crossing.

yikes, was he in a mood today.

“you’re calling my boyfriend a donkey?” yeah, you were ready to throw hands right there.

isagi had practically jumped for joy when you’d invited him over to bake cookies. he somehow managed to forget that you were rival’s little sibling, and that your house was technically also michael’s—of course he would own a penthouse with a city view. michael was an oddly protective elder brother, or maybe his rivalry with yoichi just ran that deeply; was it not enough for isagi to steal the soccer ball on court? did he have to steal michael’s bloodline too?

“go, um, read a psychology book or something,” you say, wanting to get your brother off the scene. “hang out with ness! i’m sure he’d love to!”

yoichi nods his head hurriedly in agreement.

“you think you two are getting rid of me that easily? that’s-“ your brother is cut off mid-scoff, his phone ringing loudly and persistently. you snicker, knowing that you were about to win.

“was zum teufel,” michael spits, picking up the line.

“no, ness, i’m busy…what? you seriously can’t drive yourself? can’t i…uh….i guess you’re right,” he seems to be arguing with ness, going back and forth.

“you two lucky idiots are getting your wish,” michael snaps as he hangs up, hurrying out the door. before it closes, a warning: “isagi, if you try anything, i’ll screw you over before you can blink twice.”

“yeah yeah, shitty rose.” yoichi’s ego gets the best of him. great, now he’d been rude to your brother in front of you!

but you don’t seem to mind, maybe you didn’t care, humming softly as you add chocolate chips to the mix.

"you need to move out," yoichi doesn't think he can visit you if this is how your brother was going to be.

“hmmm, could be worse. what if we made s’mores cookies?” you reply excitedly.

“the ones with marshmallows?”

“yep! i think i have them somewhere,” you pull him into your startling large pantry. the size is almost that of a grocery aisle, and it’s stocked with an insane amount of protein powder—likely your brother’s doing—but you find the small package of the fluffy white sweets tucked away in a corner.

except, you can’t quite get to it, the nook being far above your head.

“let me,” yoichi says, reaching up. he has to be on the tips of his toes, curse michael kaiser for being so damn tall!

as yoichi fumbles above you for a bit, he doesn’t notice the odd position he’s forced you into, your back flush against the shelves. you’re not that much shorter than him, but he’s gripping onto your shoulder for support, and the proximity makes you flustered. he smells good, crisp and clean, a hint of citrus in the mix.

with a small flop, the bag finally comes crashing down, along with yoichi’s balance. he lets out a startled yelp, hurriedly latching onto your other shoulder.

oh.

you blink, fazed by his deep aquamarine eyes, and the way that your noses are practically touching. his breath is ticklish, irregular from the earlier struggle, and a cherry red blush painted across his entire face.

you’re both too scared to move, stuck in the haze, should you move? closer? maybe further?

it’s like that for an agonizingly long second—still—until yoichi chooses for the both of you, his fingertips make contact with your jaw and they’re warm, hot like the kiss he suddenly pulls you into.

you’re far too eager to reciprocate, hands finding their way into his soft dark locks. the cookie batter stays neglected on the sleek white countertop, both of you distracted and lost in another world.

when your lungs threaten to implode from lack of air, that’s when you pull away, gasping softly.

your boyfriend’s face is ten times redder now.

“sorry, i- i should’ve asked first,” yoichi stammers, flustered and unable to meet your eyes.

“it’s fine, i like you when you’re confident, yoi,” you smile, twisting a strand of his hair.

you fail to notice how the front door had opened, and you’re greeted with michael kaiser standing in the hallway, gawking at the two of you.

“why’s he in my pantry?” michael’s pissed now. “of all damn places, could you two not make out in the middle of my protein powder? seriously, that is gross. i won’t be able to drink that shit now!”

“oops,” you giggle. “you’re just upset that you don’t have someone.” your brother lets out an indignant huff, ready to start hell as he marches closer. you’re still snickering.

unfortunately, yoichi cannot find any of this nearly as funny as you do—no, he’s already thinking about the hell your brother’s going to give him during the game tomorrow, convinced that both of the kaisers would be the death of him.

a/n: michael says "what the hell" in german, i just wanted to make it diverse idk. like genuinely isagi is lucky if he makes it through the week dating a kaiser sibling...kaiser is not giving his blessing for the wedding LMFAO

masterlist!

[sir-fenris]

Took me a little while to get to this 'cause my head was elsewhere yesterday, but I'm always here for the commmentary :D

I'm in the middle of an allergy attack and running on 4 hours of sleep, I'm gonna do my best.

Vi had lied to him, essentially. Paris was a prisoner just as long as he was here. But, as she reminded him frequently, he could leave at any time. They’d give him his sword back at the door. They’d take it away at the next base they crashed into. 

Lorelai was in her element, though. She was one of them now, clear as day. There was a little medallion around her neck, the gold markings which he recognized as distinctly imperial.

So funny to see Paris thinking about his kinda imprisonment, and then Lorelai is just having the time of her life.

He indulged her. He had to. And it was good for him too, to see the last stop before leaving Empire. Some kind of closure. One last goodbye.

I love Paris "having to" do stuff, it's delightful. Especially about Lorelai.

And love closure 👏👏 I know not always it's realistic to have one, but I really enjoy closure in whump.

It was a tundra. The frozen kind, though some stages were now in thaw. It was painfully beautiful. 

Ohhhh you didn't............ 😵‍💫

Only in the middle of the night, when they were already tangled in between each other’s limbs, did he realize the fever was upon him.

Own, Paris has a fever? Fucking god, he can't have one chapter of peace 🤣

“It’s my ship,” she said, the same way she ended all her arguments. “I could leave anytime I wanted. Why are you always trying to get rid of me?”

He desperately did not want to be rid of her. 

Then, as if reading his mind: “You give yourself way too much credit. I wanted this too.”

Well, Paris does actually give himself "too much credit" (I would say too much guilt). but that's to be expected after everything.

He wondered if he regretted it. Really, he regretted everything.

There we go. Love love love. Whumperflies.

If she was surprised by the change in topic, she didn’t show it. He suspected she wasn’t shocked at all. Delta was on the cusp of his thoughts, all the time.  Everything lead back to him. Lorelai raised one eyebrow at the new proclamation.

I need to say it.

👏HAUNTING👏THE👏FUCKING👏NARRATIVE👏

🗣AAAAAAAAAA

He didn’t mean to say that last part. Because he had killed Delta — and it had not felt kind. The ice felt colder beneath him as he went on.

Oh my fucking god, I need him metting face to face alive Delta so much, please, please, please, please.

I LOVE THE GUILT <333333

She barely reacted. He thought she might argue. Maybe he wanted her to. Maybe she saw another way out, some path that he didn’t. If he could do it all over, what would he change? Or would he always end up here — and Delta, dead on the ocean floor?

I'm......... AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

“They told me I needed to. It’s his conditioning. He needed to feel powerless, all the time, or he would stop working. I was fucking terrified of what would happen if I lost control of him, if I lost the only edge I had. I was scared of him. And I needed him.”

“I hated needing. I hated feeling like I was losing control. And that’s all I was doing, the entire time. Just losing control, constantly. Over everything. Over myself.”

THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING AAAAAAAAAA-

I'M KICKING MY FLWOWOWIRJDIAOQOKW GIGGLING

No words, just feelings. Fucking christ.

“I’m sorry, Lorelai. For everything.

I wish I could take it back.”

this is effectively the final chapter of Crash Out

paris and lorelai will return in Destroyer

I'M DYING WITH THIS OMG YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HANGING LIKE THIS-

-

Just a reblog and like isn't enough for the last chapter.

Here it is the super like, super kudos, super heart of "I really liked this"

Very very excited about what comes next (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

Crash Out - Love

(Content: fever, drug mention, bruises, discussions of past abuse, guilt)

He was in and out of sleep for a long time. He remained supervised. They didn’t trust him with as much rope as he could hang himself with. 

Vi had lied to him, essentially. Paris was a prisoner just as long as he was here. But, as she reminded him frequently, he could leave at any time. They’d give him his sword back at the door. They’d take it away at the next base they crashed into. 

Lorelai was in her element, though. She was one of them now, clear as day. There was a little medallion around her neck, the gold markings which he recognized as distinctly imperial.

“Did you scavenge that off a corpse?” he asked.

He had meant it as a joke.

He got the distinct sense that he had killed something beautiful. Like setting a butterfly on fire. Had she been changing all this time?

And yet she didn’t leave him. She changed all the time, but that didn’t. Over the border was still the goalpost. CTRL sheltered them at most stops. She’s their own now, of course she can stay. He offered what he could — intel when he had it, labor when he didn’t, when his body allowed him to. Sometimes he merely slept, looking sheepishly at the night guard for the time they were both wasting.

The border was a stone’s throw away and she wanted to make one last stop. 

He indulged her. He had to. And it was good for him too, to see the last stop before leaving Empire. Some kind of closure. One last goodbye.

It was a tundra. The frozen kind, though some stages were now in thaw. It was painfully beautiful. 

She had an eye for it more than he did. He’d have followed her up into the mountains and along the frozen stream, walked the whole length of tundra ten time over. Anything. Lorelai pulled winter weeds out from the ground to press into the journal she still carried. Small, living things dashed across the dead-land. Foxes and rabbits. Owls and swans. Living things, not so unlike them. Hot blood flowed through all of them, proof they still existed. Alive.

It was her idea to break into the cabin, which to him did not seem very altruistic, but he had no better ideas. Luckily enough, it was empty, seemingly abandoned for a time. They’d get better use of it.

Only in the middle of the night, when they were already tangled in between each other’s limbs, did he realize the fever was upon him.

A real one, this time. Not induced, not even dopesick. An honest to god fever.

Paris stood up blearily, feeling some of the heat recede when he’d detached from her body, but not much. It was still bright outside, something to do with the equinox. The sky was an odd, soft color. It was freezing out, which felt nice against his flushed skin. Lorelai groaned slightly from the bed. She wrapped the blanket tighter around herself before she shuffled over to the door. At that point, he’d already stepped out.

Paris was on his knees in the snow. He pressed some of it to his face, still appreciating the contrast between the cold and the burning. It felt nice. It was strange, the things that felt nice to him now. As the last dregs of the drugs cycled out from his body, he found pleasures unmuted in their absence.

“You okay?” she called from the doorway. She was barefoot by the entrance, where the carpet was still warm.

He nodded, though he probably wasn’t. The fever was cooking his brain. 

The blanket hung off her bare shoulder. He hadn’t seen it as well in the dark, but the bruises marked her skin just as much as the love bites. She’d been busy. She’d been through a lot.

“I’m sorry for dragging you out here,” he blurted out. He’d been meaning to say it for a while. 

“What?” She blinked. “I wanted to come. This was my idea.”

“But you didn’t know what you were getting into. I didn’t tell you anything. It was taking advantage.”

“Did you know?”

He shook his head

“I knew it would be bad. I didn’t know it would be like this.”

“It’s my ship,” she said, the same way she ended all her arguments. “I could leave anytime I wanted. Why are you always trying to get rid of me?”

He desperately did not want to be rid of her. 

“I don’t understand you.” he said. He couldn’t fathom the thought of anyone staying with him by choice. If he could’ve left himself behind, he would’ve. He’d have done it in a heartbeat.

“What part don’t you get?” she asked. It tickled him how annoyed she sounded then. Like her clarity was being taken for granted. 

Then, as if reading his mind: “You give yourself way too much credit. I wanted this too.”

“This?” he laughed.

“Not all of it. I never wanted you to get hurt, Paris. I just wanted us to get out. I didn’t know how hard it would fight to keep you.”

A pause. She said:

“I had fun, though. Is that horrible to say? I had fun. I don’t regret it.”

He wondered if he regretted it. Really, he regretted everything.

When he didn’t answer for a while, she sat down on the wooden steps. The blanket shielded her from the cold contact. She lit up a cigarette, holding it delicately between her lips.

Another pause. He said:

“…You know I couldn’t have let him go, right?”

If she was surprised by the change in topic, she didn’t show it. He suspected she wasn’t shocked at all. Delta was on the cusp of his thoughts, all the time.  Everything lead back to him. Lorelai raised one eyebrow at the new proclamation.

“I couldn’t just let him go,” Paris said, because he had been thinking a lot about it. “He was too dangerous. Nobody would ever let that kind of power live in peace. He would have always be wanted, always somebody’s captive. He never could have had a happy life. It’s not his fault. He didn’t do anything to deserve it. But its true. There was never any hope for him. The kindest thing to do would have been to kill him.”

He didn’t mean to say that last part. Because he had killed Delta — and it had not felt kind. The ice felt colder beneath him as he went on.

“I know I didn’t have to treat him the way I did. I’m not saying anything about that. But yeah. I never could’ve let him go.”

Clearly.

“I don’t know. That’s beside the point, now.”

She barely reacted. He thought she might argue. Maybe he wanted her to. Maybe she saw another way out, some path that he didn’t. If he could do it all over, what would he change? Or would he always end up here — and Delta, dead on the ocean floor?

“Why did you treat him like that?” Lorelai asked, leaning forward slightly onto her knees. “…You didn’t have to.”

It felt like being stabbed. But it was a miracle he’d even avoided the question for this long. She’d been patient with him, endlessly. He could afford to be honest. The fever would make it so, regardless.

“I was so angry,” he admitted.

“All the time. At everything. I couldn’t stand it. I hated my life and I hated myself. I still hate myself. The only reason I had to live was to try to keep empire running — and I didn’t even want that. It felt like the whole place was fucking diseased. There was this rot at the center of the machine. He was just the worst of all of it, the worst thing it had ever created. It wasn’t his fault. I know that, it wasn’t his fault.”

“They told me I needed to. It’s his conditioning. He needed to feel powerless, all the time, or he would stop working. I was fucking terrified of what would happen if I lost control of him, if I lost the only edge I had. I was scared of him. And I needed him.”

“I hated needing. I hated feeling like I was losing control. And that’s all I was doing, the entire time. Just losing control, constantly. Over everything. Over myself.”

“It just became a habit, after a while. It started with just…punishment. Then it was just because he was there. Because I could.”

He was acutely aware of how cruel the word punishment sounded in his mouth. He was aware of how absurd it was, without any of the false authority he’d once put behind it. Who had he thought that he was? He’d never had the right.

He forced himself to look up at her, scared as he was of what he’d find. The scars of his body ached in the cold.

“I’m sorry, Lorelai. For everything.

I wish I could take it back.”

~~~~~~~

this is effectively the final chapter of Crash Out

paris and lorelai will return in Destroyer

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @whump-queen @sir-fenris

[stellewriites]

hmmm hit a bump in dog meat,, this one section is really flat and boring and i can’t write around it

[running-in-the-dark]

I like all my hobbies, kind of, but every time we move somewhere else it drives me absolutely insane how much stuff I have.

meanwhile my husband will probably end up with one box, his clothes and his computer (+ everything that goes with that).

[sepiasys]

I'm so scares of the volunteer roles due to lack of confidence 🫠

So the food serving thingy has two roles: cooking/prepping food, and writing orders and keeping track of who got food.

The first I'm not very confident in but would like to try eventually. The second one is compared to another kind of volunteer role, which is greeting ppls at the food bank and maybe serving stuff if requested and just helping ppl out in front of the building/outside. It says strong customer service skills are necessary for the role as well as being able to work with a diverse amount of ppl 🥺

And I would wanna do that if it's similar to the other one if it'll help me out, since the food serving thing is only two other ppl helping out the manager. But I have no experience with customer service and my social skills are SHOT! Also de-escalation and understanding of trauma are mentioned as helpful for the role 🥲 Idk if I'm good with de-escalation, best I could do was my family and even then they RLLY liked to NOT LISTEN to me when I gave em advice to calm down (like separating physically while they were both pissed off--I swear mom was rlly immature about it when I was trying to help my bro because HE IS A CHILD!!). And trauma. I mean I have *experience* but do I know how to handle **others** with trauma? No, no not rlly 🥲

Hhhhhh telling myself I just need to jump into it. Doesn't help that I watched a bartending video thing. Sink or swim. I'm so scared of sinking ;-; I'm scared of if they see me as pathetic and useless despite it being a volunteer thing!!

Fuck I just need to like. Work on the days that they're not serving ppl, not open to the public. So 3 specific days. And then I need to go from that to working on days that ARE busy, but I'm still not interacting with the public public yet. And then I need to ease into working with the public via the front of house roles. And then I can do whatever I want at that point ig-

God I want to start doing stuff now but I can't because I haven't been told if I need to do anything specific 🥺 I have shifts scheduled for after the event, bc it's in a week, and that's for the one role I feel like is probably rlly easy? Probably? And I just. Hhhh. The most info I have actually comes from a training video for a semi-unrelated role, bc it shows what I assume is made/left by the role I signed up for?

Hhhhh a lot. A lot is going on rn. A lot of serious planning and preparation and I'm trying really hard to not be a tight little ball of rubber bands (incredibly stressed out) about it. But it's hard not to. Especially when half of my stress comes from my roommate(s).

Fuck I just. Need to wait. Because that's what EVERYONE says. That things take time. I just need to wait for the time to do these things. Wait.

As if that hasn't been detrimental to me my entire life.

[augustinewrites]

yesterday afternoon - after an unsuccessful coffee shop date - you’d decided that dating sucked. it was much too awkward and formal and not at all like it was in the movies, putting too much pressure on the people involved.

last night - after watching shoko flirt her way into free drinks - you’d been tipsy enough to take her advice. 

casual sex! it doesn't have to be with a stranger, just pick someone you know. someone you’re sure you won't fall in love with.

this morning you’d woken up to find gojo laying in bed next to you.

you lay shoulder to shoulder with the one person you should not have picked, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for the other person to speak. 

“did we really–” 

“three times,” satoru confirms happily, rolling onto his side to grin down at you. “i'm surprised we didn't do this sooner, really. our sexual tension has always been off the charts.”

when he leans in to kiss you, his lips meet your palm as your expression wrinkles. “don’t get familiar.”

“we’re naked together in bed– we slept together in more than the literal sense. can’t get more familiar than that.” 

“and this never happen again,” you promise, refusing to look at him. 

“why? because you’re afraid you’ll fall in love with me? it’s okay to admit it. i'm extremely lovable.” 

you’ve seen the way girls fawn over him. how they swoon over his pretty eyes and confident smile. he’s satoru gojo. a legend amongst jujutsu society. you’re no one in comparison, not a user of an otherworldly cursed technique, not from a major clan. 

people like him don’t fall for people like you. you’re afraid of rejection, afraid of being hurt. 

“we’re friends,” you tell him honestly. “i don’t want to risk ruining our friendship over something like this.” 

he tilts his head as your look at him. “shoko told you to try casual sex, didn't she? why not with me?”

“she told you?” you groan, dragging a hand down your face and making a mental note to never ask your roommate for advice for anything ever again. 

“hey, look at me,” he urges, grasping your hand. you do as he says, meeting his earnest gaze. “i can be casual and chill, it’s not like i have a huge crush on you or anything.” 

it’s so hard to say no to him. you really wish you could.  

“i’ll think about it,” you tell him, rolling your eyes when he fist pumps. “but you need to go home before shoko sees you.” 

but you’re dealing with satoru gojo, who almost never does what he’s told. “you’re not getting rid of me that easily. come here.”

he winds an arm around you, pulli my you in so you’re snug against his chest. explicit memories of last night flash through your mind, sending heat through your veins.

 “i can’t.” you tell him (though you’re mostly reminding yourself.) this is insane— satoru, what are you—”

you’re cut off when he shushes you, whispering let’s sleep in for a little while longer. 

he starts to drift off again as you struggle to escape his grasp, but your efforts are futile. even on the throes of sleep, satoru is stronger than you. 

so you give up, resigning yourself to a few more minutes of…cuddling. shoko isn’t a morning person anyways.

after a minute, you find it's not entirely awful. it’s a purely physical reaction. gojo is good looking, even with his hair mussed with sleep and his mouth hanging open. because you know that under the softness of his skin lays defined muscle, and spending the morning in his nicely toned arms isn’t the worst thing in the world. 

(it’s purely physical, is what your head tries to convince your heart, which is beating a little faster than usual.)

a very soft, content sigh slips past your lips. 

then, shoko knocks on your door. 

“hey! don’t tell me you’re too hungover for grocery shopping.” 

“shit!” you whisper harshly, shoving him away from you. “she cannot see you in here.” 

“afraid you’ll have to share?” he teases, narrowly avoiding being hit with a pillow. “okay, okay! where do you want me?”

“closet!” you instruct, scrambling my around the room to make sure none of his clothes are lying around. you thrust them into his hands, pushing him into your closet. 

he catches the door before you can close it, smiling down at you. “aren’t you glad we’re doing this?”

you shove him inside, slamming the door shut just ask shoko bursts into the room.

“hey,” you greet, trying your best to appear casual as you lean against the door. your heart beats in your throat, as she squints at you, then lets her gaze sweep across the room.

“did you bring someone home last night?”

“no.”

she looks at you. really looks at you, you think. 

“okay,” she finally says, though you can’t tell if she believes you. “i just– i thought i saw you leave with gojo. suguru said you two were flirting all night.”

“gojo and i?” you try to laugh, but it comes out a little strained. “never in a million years.”

shoko only shrugs, and you let yourself relax when she turns to leave…

…only for her to turn around once more, leaning the the doorframe. “well if you really don't like him, just let him down easy, alright? suguru told me he has a huge crush on you.” 

wait–

“gojo?”

you hear a sharp inhale through the door. 

“yeah,” she nods. “you really couldn't tell?”

gojo…has a crush on you. it takes a few seconds to truly sink in. “i had no idea.” 

“of course you didn't. he’s definitely got a really weird way of showing it.”

she turns to leave for real this time, but you wait a couple extra seconds before opening your closet, finding a wide eyed, blushing satoru staring at you. 

you can't help but laugh. at his expression, at shoko’s revelation, at this entire situation.

dating sucks, but maybe it won’t be that bad if it’s with him.

[bigwishes]

Bulked Up

Ryan sat in the sauna listening to his stomach grumbling once again.

He had been cutting just under 2 months and it was starting to become unbearable, His abs were starting to look incredible and the veins on his arms made him look like a giant however his constant grumbling stomach made him question if he even wanted to stick to it.

Once again his stomach grumbled and Ryan moaned out of discomfort.

"fuck dude, I wish I could be full and not starving all the time, just get to fucking eat"

Ryan's could feel what he thought was a large bubble rising up in his gut, he didn't know what the sensation was but, he slowly stopped feeling like he was starving and started to feel more content.

---

Later that night Ryan was sitting on his bed, he expected to feel like he was starving to death by now but nothing, if anything he felt ever so slightly bloated, as if he ate too much for breakfast.

His body dysmorphia began to creep back in as he saw his abs starting to slack, looking like when they were only just starting to show at the start of his cut.

Ryan stood up and wandered over to the bathroom to brush his teeth before going to bed. He looked in the mirror noticing a few extra pounds and it was only confirmed as he pinched the side of his waste to see his finder tips fill with a grip of bulk season fat.

"err, i swear I was leaner by now"

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPP

A massive belch suddenly blasted out from Ryan's mouth.

---

The next morning Ryan woke up and slowly rolled out of bed, something was weird, he was feeling, stuffed, like he had eaten 3 family dinners to himself, but his mind quickly faded from those thoughts when he saw himself in the mirror.

His abs were almost entirely gone at this point, his gut and muscled were bulked up and he looked like he had taken a bear mode bulk too far for over a year.

"What the fuck, how come I'm getting bigger, Ive hardly eaten anything!" Ryan's gut let out a loud grumble and his grabbed it with both hands gritting his teeth. His stomach slowly started to expand and his barely visible abs completely disappeared under his muscle gut. His muscles slowly got bigger and bigger too, although covered in a slight layer of winter weight. a pound of muscle for half a pound of fat. Bigger and bigger, Ryan had no idea what was happening to him, he wanted it to stop, months of work to see his abs again vanished in an instant.

By the end of it, he was a giant beast, you still knew he was a bodybuilder but it looked like he was on the ass end of a 3 year bulk.

He felt so heavy, he was the biggest he had ever been. You could still see his powerful muscles and core underneath the bearish meat and the moment he flexed there was no doubt in anyone's mind that he was a bodybuilder, even his abs powerfully poked out on the sides.

Ryan groaned as he rubbed his stomach, feeling totally stuffed. As he walked across the room to get a closer look his his new bigger body in the mirror he couldn't help but grab a protein bar from the box on top of his dresser and start eating it.

He flexed in the mirror, unable to even process he was chowing down on his 2nd protein bar within 50 seconds, all he really knew was he was big, and was so full he thought he'd never need to eat again.

As he swallowed another mouthful of double choc protein he felt it struggle to get to his stomach, like he was too full for anything.

"fuck, wish I could get rid of some of this pressure"

-uuuurrppp

Ryan chuckled, at the perfect timing of his words when he suddenly let out another ridiculous belch.

"uughh"

Ryan stumbled backwards sitting on his bed leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. He looked up at the mirror and his mouth cocked open UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP!!!

a titanic belch echoed out of Ryan's mouth.

"fuck" he muttered as he mindlessly bit off another chunk of the chewy protein bar. Almost the instant he swallowed he let out another beast like burp.

---

Poor Ryan couldn't figure out the power his words had, he didn't know some guardian angle was following him granting his wishes to make his life easier and more enjoyable, but hopefully he works it out soon as the beast only had one wish left...

[muniimyg]

♡ extra: a little fade out?

series m.list // taglist

note: stop !!! cos like ,, why did i get teary eyed writing this LOL ... enj this little extra </3 it's their first fight/fluff/slight angst vibe as a new couple !!! mwaaaa

//

jungkook might lose his mind.

you’re walking toward him, weaving through the crowded tables of the bustling café near campus. it’s the type of place everyone on campus flocks to between classes. it’s almost always way too loud, perpetually short on seats, and forever smelling of coffee and fries.

his friends—jaehyun, dokyeom, and hoshi—are already mid-conversation about some chemical compound’s absurd reaction time when jungkook notices you. instantly, he freezes.

his grip tightens on the edge of his chair as you spot him and wave, your smile wide and radiant.

god, you’re the prettiest thing he has ever had. 

when you reach their table, you drop your bag onto the empty seat beside jungkook’s, and lean down to greet him. your hand brushes his shoulder, lingering a second longer than needed. what can you say? 

you missed him and it’s been a long day.

“hey, baby,” you say softly, your voice just for him before turning to his friends. “hi, guys!”

jungkook mumbles a “hey” back, his hand barely grazing your arm before he drops it. the faintest pink rises to his ears, though, and jaehyun catches it immediately, smirking.

“... and you must be the girlfriend,” jaehyun says, leaning back in his seat as he takes you in. “shit, you are pretty.”

“shut up,” jungkook hisses.

the guys chuckle at jungkook’s instant reaction. 

“that’s me,” you say with a laugh, sliding into your seat. “and you’re the nerds, huh? jungkook talks about you all the time.”

“wish we could say the same about you,” dokyeom says with a sigh. “we had to beg him to let us meet you. don’t get why he’s gatekeeping you for… i mean, you guys have been together for a month—officially i mean. we heard all about the slow burn and him being an asshole—”

“shut up—”

“we’d like to apologize on his behalf, by the way,” jaehyun interrupts. “as nerd alchemists, we tend to suck at the whole… romance part of life.” 

“that’s okay. we’re happy and together now, right? that’s all that matters.” you say, turning to jungkook with a sweet smile. he nods in agreement. “also! nerd alchemists? hilarious.”

“or ‘genius goofs,’” hoshi adds, “but only on the bad days.”

“genius goofs who almost melted the lab last semester,” jaehyun cuts in with a snort.

“hey, that was one time,” hoshi protests before pouting, recalling the slightly traumatic memory. he huffs, “... fuck you. it wasn’t my fault.” 

“not entirely your fault,” jungkook corrects.

you laugh, genuinely amused, as you settle in closer to jungkook’s side. 

“i like them,” you say, nudging him.

“yeah?” jungkook asks, nudging you back. “i don’t. thinking of getting rid of them—”

“oh! really?” you gasp. “can i have them then?”

the guys stop themselves from bursting into laughter. you’re quick with it and it obviously throws jungkook and his stone-cold mood off… it’s right then and there where they all see it—how good you are for him. how good he has it to be with you.

“she’s funny,” jaehyun remarks, elbowing jungkook. “good choice, man.”

jungkook shrugs, the corners of his lips twitching as if fighting a smile. “yeah, she’s alright.”

“alright?” you repeat, narrowing your eyes at him with mock offense. “that’s all i am to you? you’re one to talk about being alright… what do you even have to offer me?”

“free tutoring,” hoshi deadpans, making everyone laugh.

as lunch continues, the vibe is easy. the conversation between everyone flows with teasing jokes and the occasional detour into more chemistry talk that you don’t fully understand but pretend to. it’s nice to be in jungkook’s world. it makes you feel like you’re getting to know him a little better and that’s all you really want… more of him. 

as you wait for the food to arrive, you reach for jungkook’s hand under the table, lacing your fingers through his. for a moment, he lets it happen. his thumb brushing yours absently before he pulls away to grab his water.

“here,” he says casually, pushing the glass toward you.

you blink, caught off guard, but take the glass with a polite smile. “thanks.”

jaehyun leans forward, clearly amused. “so, how is he as a boyfriend? still the golden boy, or is the shine starting to fade?”

you grin, playing along. “oh, he’s great. sweet, smart, cute when he wants to be… which isn’t often… ” you glance sideways at him. “terrible at pda, though.”

jungkook blinks at you.

dokyeom snickers. “shit. classic jungkook. wouldn’t want to ruin the whole nonchalant-genius vibe, right?”

jungkook doesn’t respond, just gives a half-smile as he takes a sip of his drink.

you laugh lightly, but something about his reaction sits heavy in your chest. you keep the conversation going with the group, but the warmth from earlier feels a little dimmed now.

jungkook might lose his mind?

no.

but maybe you might.

after lunch with the nerds, you and jungkook head back to his place.

when you arrive, the guys are already sprawled out in the living room, half-buried in blankets and pillows. the plan? a casual disney movie marathon, an excuse for everyone to lounge around and argue over animated villains.

you settle on the couch next to jungkook, close enough that your thigh presses against his, and his arm is loosely draped along the backrest behind you. it’s not nothing, but the space between how you’re sitting and how you want to be sitting feels like miles.

you try to close the distance, leaning into him as the opening scene of the lion king plays, but jungkook barely reacts. he’s relaxed, sure—his legs stretched out in front of him and his eyes glued to the screen—but it’s like he doesn’t even notice the way you’re resting your cheek on his shoulder.

“are you mad at me?”

jungkook shifts, tilting his head down to meet your eyes. “no, i’m not. why?”

“feels like you are.”

“i’m not,” he tells you softly. “did i do something?”

you shrug. “i don’t know… did i do something?”

jungkook shakes his head. “no. you okay, ___?”

baby. 

call me baby, please.

you nod, lips tight, and turn back to the movie. jungkook doesn’t think twice about it. 

meanwhile, the others are already engrossed in their usual back-and-forth.

“oh, come on,” taehyung groans from across the room, his hand halfway into the popcorn bowl. “you guys have to agree with me. scar is fucking gaston in another universe. it’s so obvious!”

“that makes literally no sense. gaston doesn’t have a scar on his face!” jin deadpans, tossing a handful of popcorn in taehyung’s direction.

you laugh softly, trying to join in. “i mean… he’s not wrong.”

jungkook doesn’t even glance at you.

you shift, sliding your hand into his lap and letting your fingers brush against his knee. maybe this will get his attention—a tiny spark of acknowledgment. instead, he shifts slightly, just enough that you pull away, sinking into the couch with your heart dipping into your stomach.

taehyung catches it, his smirk practically a reflex. 

“yah, jungkook… seriously?” he says, looking between you and jungkook. “are you two even dating? what the fuck was that?”

“what was what?” jungkook asks.

taehyung rolls his eyes. “you know what you just did. look at your girlfriend—if i can even call ehr that—she’s clearly upset at you.”

jungkook laughs it off like it’s nothing, his expression is calm as ever. 

“we’re dating,” jungkook says, voice casual, like it’s obvious.

but you’re not laughing. 

and taehyung is right.

you are upset. 

your chest feels tight because fuck. every touch you’ve tried today has been shrugged off, and taehyung’s words cut a little deeper than you want to admit. you force a smile, your fingers twisting at the hem of your sleeve.

“whatever,” taehyung gives up. 

then, just like that… you feel alone again. like no one sees you again. 

like he doesn’t see you. 

the others keep talking, diving into some tangent about villains in disney sequels, but the warmth you’ve been chasing all day feels impossibly far away.

it’s late by the time the movie marathon wraps up. 

one by one, everyone begins to surrender to their tiredness. the once lively room is now quiet, save for the rustle of blankets and yawns. jin and namjoon head upstairs to their rooms, while taehyung and yoongi mumble something about doing the dishes before heading to bed. jimin and hobi headed out early to sleep over at their girlfriends. meanwhile, jungkook, still half-reclined on the couch next to you, looks like he’s one blink away from passing out.

his head dips once, then twice. 

his lashes fluttering as his hand absently brushes against your thigh. you watch him for a moment, your chest tightening with a mix of affection and frustration.

today has not been the best day with him.

you can’t quite put the finger on why he’s so fucking infuriating today… maybe your period is coming or maybe he truly is just a fucking idiot. 

when his head finally droops forward, you carefully slip away, untangling yourself from the blanket and his loose grip. his brows furrow slightly, but he doesn’t wake. you head to the entryway, grab your jacket, and slip your arms through the sleeves with slow, deliberate movements.

the door creaks slightly as you reach for your shoes, and that’s when you hear him.

“hey.”

you glance up to see jungkook standing there, rubbing at his eyes, his hair a soft, messy halo around his head. his voice is low, a little groggy, but there’s an edge of concern in it.

“where are you going?” he asks, padding toward you with bare feet.

“home,” you reply, your tone light but clipped as you tug the zipper of your jacket up. “you were out cold, and it’s late. figured i’d let you sleep.”

“hey, hey, hey.” his voice softens, and before you can move away, his hands find your waist, gently pulling you back toward him. “what’s this about?”

you keep your gaze fixed on the door, refusing to look at him. 

“nothing. i just thought it’d be better if i went home.”

jungkook leans in, his arms sliding around you fully now, and his forehead dips to rest against your shoulder. he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, his breath warm against your skin. 

“you said you were staying the night.”

you inhale sharply, willing yourself not to get so sensitive about this. god, what are you even mad about? actually, no. what are you not mad about? 

“i did, didn’t i?”

“yeah,” he murmurs, his voice almost pleading. “it’s our one-month tomorrow…”

“right,” you pull back slightly, just enough to look at him. “hey, do you think we should just break up? we can do that, you know. it’s only a month in anyway and—”

his hold on you tightens instantly. 

“what?” he stares at you, the grogginess fading from his eyes as they widen in alarm. “why would you say something like that? that’s not funny.” 

“i’m not trying to be funny,” you say, attempting to sound stern. you don’t though. if anything, you just sound defeated. 

“i’m not following…” jungkook says, beginning to feel a burn in his chest. “why do you wanna break up with me? do you not want to be with me anymore? i swear, i thought i was making you happy. aren’t we happy—”

“it’s fine. like, if you want to break up we can do it now. we haven’t even had sex yet and so this would be less attachment to our relationship. we can still be friends—”

“don’t,” jungkook hisses. “don’t start with your psych bullshit. ___, friends? we’re horibale at that, remember? fuck, ___… and who said anything about sex? i said i’d wait. i said it doesn’t matter if you want to wait for marriage or do it tomorrow. do what you want with it, okay? it’s yours. it’s completely yours… and so am i. me being your boyfriend has nothing to do with wanting to fuck you—okay. wait. yeah, okay, fine. it does a little but it’s not why i’m with you.”

“oh,” you murmur. “right. you’re my boyfriend.”

he doesn’t say anything right away, but the way his hands stay steady on your waist makes you feel like maybe he’s finally listening.

jungkook’s eyes narrow at the sarcasm that drips from your words, and his lips curl into a frown. he steps closer to you, eyes searching yours. 

“what the fuck does that mean?”

your lips tremble as you meet his gaze, the weight of everything you’ve been holding back pressing down on you. it feels like your heart is going to burst. 

"it doesn’t even feel like we’re dating, jungkook," your voice barely above a whisper. yet, you can tell by the way his body stiffens that he heard every word loudly. 

for a moment, there’s only silence. 

jungkook’s grip on your waist tightens, his fingers pressing into the fabric of your jacket as he pulls you closer, not hard, but just enough that you can feel the warmth of him against you. his brows draw together, eyes searching your face for some kind of explanation, but he doesn’t speak.

you feel the space between you and him—how close you are, how far apart you feel.

you resist for a moment, but the way his hands settle on you—secure and soft—makes it hard to stay distant. still, your mind is racing, the thoughts bubbling up, ready to spill over.

“why’d you drop my hand today?” you ask, voice tight. “why didn’t you hold it? why didn’t you touch me during the movie? i was leaning into you the whole time, and you didn’t even—didn’t even notice.”

“i noticed.”

you pull away slightly, just enough to see his face, and you’re almost surprised to see the guilt flicker in his eyes. he opens his mouth, but no words come out at first, and then you take a shaky breath, your eyes filling with tears.

“yeah, you did… and then you shifted away. taehyung noticed that,” you continue, your voice breaking, “he saw it... you didn’t even care, did you?”

“i do care.”

“not enough then,” you whimper. “j-jungkook…”

then, the tears start to fall, and you feel them. 

hot and frustrated. 

your tears slip down your cheeks as you look up at him. your fists are clenched and before you even realize it, you’re hitting his chest with your palms.

“you’re such a bad boyfriend,” you whisper, the emotion bursting from you all at once. “just break up with me if you’re gonna be a bad boyfriend!”

jungkook doesn’t pull away.

he lets you hit him, one, two, three times, his chest soft under your hands. and then he gently grabs your wrists, holding them, but not in a way that feels forceful—more like he’s trying to soothe you—to ground you.

“i didn’t mean to,” he says softly, his voice laced with regret, pulling you back to him. 

he wraps his arms around you tightly, holding you close, as if trying to keep you from falling apart. his forehead rests against yours, and he murmurs softly.

“i’m sorry,” he says.

you bury your face in his chest, taking a shaky breath. 

jungkook’s arms tighten around you, holding you like he never wants to let go. you feel the warmth of his embrace, but the words spill out before you can stop them.

“it’s just... it’s hard when you’re... like that around other people. you know?” you murmur. “it’s like... i try so hard to make you feel loved and important, and you just don’t���don’t react the way i want you to.”

he’s quiet for a long time, just holding you, and you feel his chest rise and fall with every breath. when he speaks again, it’s softer, raw, like he’s letting the truth spill out too.

“it’s hard for me too,” he says, his voice tight with vulnerability. “being with you... i want to be everything you need. but i can’t always figure out how to do it, especially when we’re in public, around my friends. it’s like... i don’t want to look stupid. i don’t want to mess things up, and... i’m not used to feeling like this. like you’re... you’re all-consuming, and i can’t control it.”

you pull back slightly, looking up at him, your heart beating louder in your chest. jungkook’s eyes are full of something you haven’t seen before—rawness, honesty.

“i’m sorry,” he says again, this time more quietly. “i didn’t mean to make you feel like this, ___... i swear to god, i didn’t.” he runs a hand over his face in frustration. “i know i was… distant. but it’s not because i don’t care about you. it’s not because i was intentionally trying to be an asshole—”

“why do you act like this around your friends? like i’m some kind of... afterthought?”

he doesn’t say anything for a moment, his eyes fixed on yours as if trying to find the right words. but it’s almost like he’s been waiting for this moment, for you to finally say everything he’s been too afraid to face.

“honestly? when we’re around my friends, i get this... i get this weird feeling, like i’m not good enough for you. like you’re too… perfect. you’re out of my league, to be completely honest… and i don’t know how to handle it. like i said… it’s like you’re taking over my life and i can’t control it. it’s unfamiliar to me, you know? not having control over how i feel and how things go... so i guess… i guess i push you away and i drop your hand when i shouldn’t… when i don’t even want to.”

you can feel the sincerity in his words, and for a second, the tears that had been threatening to spill fall freely. he’s so open, so raw, and it makes your heart ache.

“i’m sorry, baby,” he continues, his voice thick with emotion. “i won’t ever do that ever again, okay? i want to be the boyfriend you deserve. i want to show you how much i care about you, how much i really, really fucking like you. i’m really sorry i made you feel this way.”

you swallow hard, trying to make sense of it all. 

it’s overwhelming, but it feels like he’s finally seeing you, really seeing you for the first time. as you compose yourself, jungkook takes this opportunity. 

“so... can you take it back?” he asks, his voice hesitant. “please don’t break up with me.”

you sniff, wiping your face with the back of your hand, still unsure of everything. your heart still aches, but it’s a little less painful now. you look at him through watery eyes, and a small smile tugs at the corner of your lips.

“okay,” you murmur, your voice still a little shaky. “but you have to be more obsessed with me, okay? or else i’m really dumping you. got it?”

“got it.”

jungkook chuckles, a soft, relieved sound, and he leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head before pulling off your jacket. he tosses it carelessly to the side, his hands lingering on your shoulders for a second longer than necessary, as if to keep you close.

“let’s go to bed. i’m sleepy... and i missed you all day,” he says, his voice low and warm, his hand now sliding down your arm to gently wrap around your wrist, giving it a soft tug. you let out a laugh, shaking your head as he starts to pull you toward the stairs.

“we were together all day, nerd,” you tease, looking up at him with a playful smile.

he groans dramatically, letting his head fall back with a long, exaggerated sigh. you can’t help but smile at the sight of him, so vulnerable and sweet in these moments.

“oh… i know,” he groans. “see what i mean? i sound ridiculous. baby, i miss you even when i’m with you.”

then, he’s pulling you closer. his fingers curl around your hand as his other arm slips around your waist, holding you snugly to his side.

his words hang in the air between you two, and it’s clear he’s not just saying it—he means it.

the way he holds you as he leads you upstairs, his gaze soft yet full of affection, is all the confirmation you need.

the way you two slip into bed and he wraps his body around you, breathing you in like you're his only source of air... it's what you've been craving for all day.

you two fall asleep tangled in each others embrace.

when you wake up the next day, you wake up to 30 individual flowers in small vases spread around his bedroom—one for each day you’ve been together.

jungkook kisses you good morning and holds you by the waist going downstairs. he's giggling into your skin, talking about how pretty you are. 

during breakfast with the guys, he holds your hand over the table. 

everyone rolls their eyes, dumbfounded by the pda… 

except you, of course. 

your eyes are completely on jungkook.

[theaceace]

An old concept that I'm still feral over, but a Dreamling fic in which the dreamling relationship is chronicled entirely by Yelp reviews of the New Inn.

Reviews are either 5* or 1* with surprisingly little in between, and the business owner replies are always a riot. They start off fairly normal, talking about the food and drink, the couple of guest rooms upstairs, the location and prices etc, but then they start to get weird.

Constantine leaves 3*, beer is shit whiskey is ok not haunted which is more than I can say for most london pubs and the response is Thanks Jo, but you're still banned

4* this place is run by my history professor and it's amazing but he asked me about my overdue essay three times so I can't give it 5* and Hob, who has had multiple students visit the pub for the sole purpose of doing this, is just like you still haven't submitted that, get off yelp and start citing your sources

There are multiple 5* reviews like would give 10* if i could, the owner chased off a neo nazi with a literal sword he pulled out from behind the bar

5* should probably give it less because a couple of times the answers to the history round on the monthly quiz night have been wrong, but otherwise it's a solid little place for a reasonably priced pint and a nice afternoon and Hob's response is just those answers were right

And then Dream comes back and the reviews start... Changing, a bit

One of the 1* reviews is just complaining about the fact that there was a bird at the bar and no one got rid of it and the reply from Hob is that's Matthew, he has a tab. Several of the 5* reviews are also about the fact that sometimes there's a bird in the bar

One of the 5* reviews is saw the most beautiful goth twink in the world, will definitely be going back and Hob nearly deletes that one. The reply instead is that's my boyfriend, unlike Matthew he never pays his tab

5* i have no idea how i got there or found the place because i swaer i was halfway across london from where google maps says it is but anyway the bartender was really great and understandig when I started crying on him, will defiantely go back if reality ever warps like that again. Response from owner: yeah sorry about the reality warping, we don't get it either

1* I only wish I could have given this establishment a glowing review – fabulous service, lovely food and a sumptuous wine I hadn't expected, but unfortunately I had to see my brother's face. Response from owner: Desire get off the internet, it doesn’t need your help

[f1byjessie]

HE LIKES MY AMERICAN SMILE ━━ OP81. [REWRITE]

he may not be a london boy, but you love him all the same, and you’re about to learn the hard way that loving someone can be a wild ride.

( oscar piastri x sargeant!reader )

━━ part one.

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yourusername me and london boy have made so many memories here together and i’ll cherish them forever ❤️. i love this sport and i love the people i've met in this sport. i'll always love it and them, but sometimes you have to take a step back and set your sights on new horizons. that said, neither of us will be competing in any events this year— endurance or otherwise. london boy will stay in richmond and continue to receive the best care possible from people who have grown to love him as much as i do, and in the meantime, i'll start looking to those other horizons.

view all 1,761 comments

user wishing you the best of luck!! we’ll miss seeing you and london boy, but we know this decision wasn’t made lightly and we hope whatever you do will make you just as happy as riding does!!

user london boy lives a more luxurious life than i could ever hope 

↳ user real like why am i jealous of a horse 😭😭

↳ user knowing how well these horses are treated? we should all be jealous

↳ user some of these horses have rain coats that cost more than my entire wardrobe combined… the day i learned that was not a fun day… 😔

user honestly only ever tuned in to watch you both

user the events won’t be the same without you!!!

user I’LL MISS YOU LONDON BOY

user take all the time you need to explore other options! you can love something and still get burnt out on it. sometimes taking that step away can be the decision that allows us to continue loving something instead of growing resentful towards it. do what you need to do to be happy! 🫶

↳ user this is such a good way to put it!!

↳ user THIS. i did competitive jumping for ten years and towards the end of that time i started seeing it more as a chore than the sport i used to be so passionate about. you absolutely CAN love something and still get burnt out on it. taking breaks is so important.

user i’m sure london boy will miss you but you do you girliepop! take a trip or go on an adventure!

user oh to be a girl riding her horse across the beach at sunrise 🥲

↳ user IKR?!? talk about dream life, she’s literally living out scenes that i’ve only ever seen in movies

↳ user it’s london boy’s world and we’re all just living in it

user wait does this mean no more horse content???

↳ user i mean she’s not getting rid of her horse or even outright retiring, she just won’t be riding competitively for 2023

user is she leaving the uk or smth?? bc she said other ppl will be looking after london boy?? i know nothing about horses guys i’m sorry

↳ user london boy will be staying at the stables as per her caption! he will be looked after by many trained professionals who will ensure he is properly fed, watered, exercised, and groomed each day! it’s actually very common for people to board their horses at a stable since horses often need large fields to graze and exercise in, and not a lot of people have big enough backyards or own property to be able to provide that themselves. whether she’s leaving the uk or not, we don’t know, but it definitely sounds like her training with london boy will be put on hold for the time being!

user miss girl we’ll always remember you and london boy as the greatest duo in endurance racing history

↳ user REAL REAL REAL

user does this have to do with her falling off a few months back??

↳ user it could, she did mention the encounter leaving her pretty shaken

↳ user yeah but the possibility of something like this happening is so high that a lot of riders have accepted it as an inevitable occurrence in their career

↳ user even still, that doesn’t change the fact that she could very well be traumatized or experiencing lingering side effects

↳ user guys!! speculation will do us no good!! if she wants to tell us, she will!!

user YOU KNOW I LOVE A LONDON BOY 🗣🗣🗣

logansargeant wanna trade one paddock for another?

There’s a sort of terrifying uncertainty that comes with breaking a long-standing routine.

It’s like a fucked-up sort of package deal— you stop following the methodized schedule you’ve meticulously upheld for years, and in exchange, you receive more time than you know what to do with and an overwhelming responsibility to fill it.

The only question is: with what?

The muscle memory lingers, and you suspect that it’ll take some time for your body to un-familiarize itself with a sleep schedule that you’ve religiously held on to for years, but there’s no demands to maintain any of it and that makes any sort of attempt at continuing to run through the motions feel entirely obsolete. You may instinctively wake up at the ass crack of dawn, but without the necessity of a horse relying on your punctuality to get him fed, watered, and turned out to the paddock, there’s nothing you can do beyond filling the morning with something until your internal clock catches the memo and decides to let you sleep in for once.

“You know, when I invited you to tag along with me,” Logan begins in lieu of a greeting when he opens the front door and sees you standing on the stoep of his apartment, clad in athletic wear and a pair of well-worn running shoes, “I was under the impression that we both understood that to mean the traveling to races part and not necessarily the pre-season training.”

“‘My dearest sister,’” you sarcastically quip back in a mockingly deep voice, feigning heartfelt sincerity and pressing your hand melodramatically to your chest. “‘How good it is to see you after so long! I would be absolutely delighted if you joined me on my morning run today.’”

Your twin brother shakes his head in exasperation, but through the facade of annoyance, you can recognize the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Honestly, Logie,” You pretend to wipe a tear from the corner of your eye and add in a sniffle for extra flair, “you're too sweet. What would I ever do without you?”

“We saw each other a week ago at brunch,” he grumbles, reluctantly taking a step back from the door and allowing you to pass over the threshold into the warmth of the apartment and out of the winter’s frigid morning air.

“When?”

“Last Wednesday—”

“—did I ask? Oh! Boom! Gotcha!” You whoop out an exclamation of victory as you continue down the hall. “Gosh, I am four for four now. You gotta step up your game, Logie-bear, or this is gonna end in a miserable shut out for you.”

He heaves out a heavy sigh that carries with it twenty-two years of suppressed brotherly rage and the exhaustion that can only come from being reminded at every chance that he is, and always will be, a minute younger than you. “You're the bane of my existence, and I do sincerely hope you know this.”

“Aw, I love you too!”

You step into the small kitchen at the end of the hall. With the exception of a little potted cactus sitting on the windowsill— a housewarming gift from you— it looks nearly identical to how it was the last time you visited.

A month ago.

When he moved in.

There's a woven mat on the floor in front of the sink, an ashy green that contrasts nicely with the off-white cream color of the cabinets and laminate countertops. You can't really tell if Logan actually bought the mat, or if it came with the place, but it's cute nonetheless and serves as one of the few pops of color in the otherwise monochromatically beige apartment.

“I see that my cactus continues to reign supreme as the only individuality in this place,” you comment, glancing over your shoulder in time to see him appear in the doorway.

He shrugs at your words. “Yeah, well, you'd be surprised how busy you can get when you're preparing for everything you've ever dreamed about. No biggie.”

“Logan,” you turn to face him, “you'll do great. There are two other rookies on the grid—”

“And I'll be in the worst car out of all of them.”

“You don't know that,” you chide gently.

This side of Logan isn't unfamiliar to you— the anxiety and fear of failure. It's always existed, and you've known about it since the morning of his first kart race when he confided in you that he was so nervous he felt like he was going to be sick.

The insecurities surrounding his own skills have persisted and thrived with every new track, every new team, and every new series, and as you've grown alongside him you've found ways to challenge his self-doubt, but you've also learned to accept that there's only so much you alone can do.

You can debate it and challenge the self-deprecating thoughts all you want, but the voice in his head will always be there, no matter how quiet it occasionally becomes.

So you choose to drop the topic for now.

It's too early in the morning for an impromptu therapy session anyway.

You turn back around and scan the countertops until your eyes latch onto the container of pre-workout tucked away in the corner, nearly hidden amidst the mountain of vitamin and nutrient supplements.

“I thought it was part of Benny’s job to make sure you didn't have to use all this shit,” you comment, picking through the jars and eyeing them each with unapologetic distaste.

Logan reaches over your shoulder and plucks a packet of vitamin C tablets from your hand, “Sometimes these just work better.”

“Yeah, maybe if you don’t have a nutritionist being paid to quite literally curate a diet specifically to ensure that you don’t need to use these,” you gesture widely to the assembled mass of supplements. “But, last I checked, dear brother of mine, you do have a nutritionist— and a very good one at that— who would be horrified to learn you’re substituting real fruit for…” you squint down at the nutritional label of another one of the jars, but there’s very little that you recognize amidst the scientific jargon and long, five-syllable words, “little gummies that taste like fruit.”

He huffs, “Get your pre-workout or I'm leaving without you.”

“You wouldn't dare leave without me,” you grumble.

“I've done it before and I'll do it again,” he snipes, giving a brief yank on your ponytail and cackling when you swat behind yourself in futility.

There’s more he isn’t saying— there always is, nowadays— but you recognize the deflection for what it is. You want to claw him apart with questions and demand answers that bare every inch of his soul so you understand what he isn’t telling you and why he feels the need to keep it locked away even from you, but you know better than to keep pushing at something Logan clearly doesn’t want to talk about.

It makes you nostalgic for a time in your life when he’d sneak down from the top of the bunk bed after your parents had tucked you away for the night and slip under the covers with you, a well-loved stuffed bear hugged to his chest. He’d curl up beside you and you’d pull the blankets up to your chin and watch him with big, curious eyes until he’d whisper out into the darkness of your shared bedroom what he was worrying about.

More often than not it was a byproduct of a hyperactive imagination still plagued by the fears of childhood. Something about the space beneath your bed and— “What if there’s something down there? And the only way you can see it is by its glowing eyes? But what if it knows when someone is gonna look under the bed, so it closes its eyes so you can’t see the glow?” Or the curtains and— “You have to make sure they cover the whole window because what if you don’t and then something looks inside and it knows I’m not asleep and then it comes inside? I always hold really still and pretend to be asleep even when I’m not if the curtains aren’t closed.”

But sometimes it was about anything and everything else like the fox sitting in the bushes by the bus stop on the way home from school and whether or not it had water to keep it cool in the Florida heat, or the purple glitter pen Mrs. Moore used to grade his spelling test and how the girl sitting next to him had gotten her test graded with the green glitter pen, or— “I forgot my coat in Mr. Garrison’s class yesterday, and you went and got it for me and brought it to the car with you, and I didn’t say thank you, but I always feel bad when I leave my coat behind because what if it has feelings and felt really bad because it thought I was abandoning it, so thank you for getting my coat so it didn’t feel abandoned.”

But that was then and this is now.

You’re both adults, and you live in different apartments on different ends of the city, and you work different jobs that separate you by half the globe at times. There’s no more talk of foxes by bus stops or glitter pens, and certainly no more sentient coats with fears of abandonment.

When you look at Logan now, he isn’t wasting away, and really you owe it to him after you announced out of the blue a week ago that you weren’t just taking a break from competitive riding, but rather taking a break from riding as a whole. He didn’t press you on it then— still hasn’t pressed you on it despite having every right to do so. The least you can do now in return is respect the boundary he’s trying to set.

You mutter a few curses beneath your breath— words your mother would throw a fit over if she could hear you— and feign a scowl, but some of the tension in Logan’s shoulders has released and that's all you can ask for.

“If you leave me behind, I’ll leak a picture of your pathetic kitchen to the tabloids and let everyone tear apart your design choices,” you threaten, digging your knuckles into the tender spot of his arm where bicep meets shoulder and taking pride when he squirms away and beyond reach.

He flips you off. “You’re just jealous I have a cool cactus and you don’t.”

“Hey!” You give a lazy kick in his direction, but he sidesteps it easily with a laugh. “I gave you that cactus!”

“Tomato, tom-ah-to.” He flippantly waves his hand in your direction, laughing again at the indignant squawk you make. “Just hurry up and make your damn drink.”

As he makes his way out of the kitchen, presumably to grab his shoes, you unscrew the lid from the container and reach for the scoop.

Only to find it entirely empty.

“You asshole! There's nothing in here!”

Logan’s cackle echoes from another room.

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yourusername day 14 without london boy and i have officially succumbed to the boredom and willingly subjected myself to the presence of my arch nemesis (love you logie 🫶)

view all 1,382 comments

logansargeant in my defense, you just showed up

user you could not PAY me to go out in this weather

user as a florida girlie myself, this is my nightmare

↳ user REAL

↳ user genuinely seeing this makes me so glad i live in a place where there’s no snow cuz yea, the view is pretty and all, but not even a gorgeous sunrise would make up for me freezing my ass off and having to wear seven layers just to keep the feeling in my fingers and toes

user i wish the most stressful part of my day was going for a morning run 😔

user calling logan her nemesis is so real i just know that man is a menace

↳ user the f2 clips of him and liam are proof enough

↳ user logan sargeant was a menace back in f3 💀 have you SEEN the prema videos with oscar and fred? bro is diabolical when he wants to be

↳ user i'm so excited for the chaos he'll bring to the grid this year

user the snow man is so cute!!

user “14 days without london boy” OH I AM ILL 😭😭😭

user ok but that view is gorgeousness

↳ user ikr?! winter sunrises are genuinely so pretty

user i’m still so confused as to why she isn’t riding anymore?? can someone pls explain

↳ user to be entirely honest, i’m not sure really what there is to explain. first and foremost, we aren’t owed any sort of explanation as to why she’s decided to take a step back from riding. it could be a personal decision, a career decision, or something else, but whatever it is we aren’t automatically entitled to it just because y/n has previously been very open and vocal about her and london boy’s training. second, she never actually said that she isn’t riding anymore. she said she’s taking a step back from competitive riding to focus on other things, and the “without london boy” part of her caption implies that she hasn’t seen him, but she could just be taking a prolonged break, or she could be focusing on something else that has prevented her from going to see him. but again, none of it is our business and she doesn’t owe us any further explanation to what she meant.

↳ user THIS THIS THIS!! as sad as i am to not have london boy on my feed, y/n is a grown adult with her own private life and we have to respect her decisions!! if or when she chooses to come forward about the specifics of her future plans and goals, then that’s great and i’ll continue to support her endeavors, but for the time being we all just have to be patient

user the selfie logan posted with you on his story was so cute!! 🥰

user she’s a runner she’s a track star

user i’ve missed the twin content!

↳ user me too!! i really hope that her taking a break from competitions (as much as i love london boy) will mean we get to see her actually going to more of logan’s races, especially now that he’ll be in formula 1!!

oscarpiastri if the rumours are to be believed, i look forward to getting to catch up at the races this year

━━ tags: @urfavnoirette @casperlikej @awritingtree @f1-is-lovely-33 @chasing-liberosis @405rry @aquangxl @bellezaycafe @peqch-pie @formulaal @chonkybonky @mess-is-my-aesthetic @flippingmyshit @peachiicherries @spacegirlstuff @myxticmoon @landosgirlxoxo @k-pevensie28 @moonypixel @lewisvinga @81vas @maih23 @thatoneembarrasingmoment @elz-xo @the-navistar-carol

━━ a/n: surprise! i've been working on this for a little while now (i got my wisdom teeth removed yesterday, so the time i've spent recovering has been spent polishing up the last few details for this first part) but here she is! as promised, the newly rewritten and revamped 'he likes my american smile'! i feel like i always say it, but the original genuinely holds such a special place in my heart because it was the first work i ever posted here on tumblr, so i'm really happy to take all that i've learned since then and apply it where i can in this new version. i really hope the changes and development is as loved by you all as it is by me, and that you all enjoy!

[wlntrsldler]

f.u.c.k | jamie tartt

based on the song f.u.c.k by victoria monet

description: pure smut. no plot.

pairing: jamie tartt x f!reader

warnings: language-- it's ted lasso, what did ya expect?!; PinV! sex! smut! so dirty.

word count: 2.4K

The first time you fucked Jamie Tartt was all lust. You’ve come to learn that there was something absolutely magnetic about him. Like once you’re within his vicinity, you are pulled towards him whether you want to be or not. You tried to fight it at first, unable to get rid of the idea of who he once was from your brain, but it was no use. The more you got to know Jamie, the easier it was to fall for him, to be so intoxicated from him. He consumed your thoughts. All kinds of thoughts.

It was Ted and Beard’s going away party. Rebecca rented out Bones & Honey entirely for the team and their guests. The early part of the night was wholesome. Players gave speeches about how their lives were changed because of the two Americans and wished the coaches a safe flight. There was a three-course Michelin-star menu and an assortment of expensive and classy wines. After the meal, the open bar was introduced. 

Bones & Honey was instantly transformed into a nightclub and it became far from innocent. You found yourself sitting at the bar, sipping on your drink, with Jamie Tartt whispering in your ear, so close to you that you could feel his body heat radiating off of him.

You’d had a few drinks. You were in a good place where you felt careless enough to speak your mind but sober enough to carry on a proper conversation and to know what you want, what you need. The music was so loud that you encouraged Jamie to lean in closer so you could hear him properly. He happily obliged. 

From where he was, your sweet perfume filled his senses. Your skin was a little damp from how hot the club was with all the dancing. Jamie had a hand sprawled across your lower back, not because you needed to be steadied but because he needed to touch you. As he pulled away from your ear, he couldn’t help but bite his bottom lip. Had he extended his neck just a little bit more, his lips would’ve brushed the skin of your neck. 

You placed your drink on the counter, turning the bar chair to face him directly. Your eyes roamed his figure– strong thighs on display with the slacks he wore that hugged his bottom half perfectly, arms so sculpted that you couldn't help but run your fingers over them, and his hands that would look so, so good on you. You couldn’t help but watch the veins of his tattooed arm as he flexed his hand. You let your eyes wander upwards, stopping at his plump lips. You forgot what the conversation was about. 

Jamie’s eyes trailed down your body, having to hold back a groan when he saw you press your thighs together. His hand slowly crept to touch your exposed knee, giving an experimental squeeze before he let his hand move up. He stopped at the hem of your dress, looking up at you once more. You had this look on your face like you were fucked out and he hadn’t even touched you yet, as if the sexual tension between the two of you was enough to get you off. Jamie flared his nostrils, his slacks getting tighter by the second. He leaned toward you again, “If you don’t stop looking at my lips without doin’ anythin’ about it, I will fucking take you right here on this counter in front of everyone.” 

You smirked, placing a hand over his own that was resting on your thigh. You opened your legs a tiny bit, guiding his hand near where you wanted him, but not quite letting him get there. You placed your other hand on the side of his face as you leaned closer, “You couldn’t handle me.” 

For a split second, he was taken aback, eyes blinking while your words sunk in. Then, he smirked, extending his thumb to lightly graze your mound. You sucked in a breath at the contact. Jamie pulled his hand away and hopped off the bar stool, extending his hand for you to take. You adjusted your dress and took him up on his offer. 

Jamie placed a hand on your back, ushering you out of the bar. As you were walking out the door, Jamie pulled your back to his front. You gasped at the sudden contact, feeling him against your leg. He wrapped an arm around your torso, mouth finding the skin behind your ear. He placed a soft kiss on it, so soft you didn’t know if you just imagined it. “You’re gonna regret saying that.” 

When you got to his flat, it was like you were both done with the months of pining, sexual tension, and secret touches. Jamie unlocked the door, pulled you inside, and then his mouth was on yours. He kicked the door closed and had his hands gripping you everywhere like you were going to disappear if he didn’t. You had your fingers tangled in his hair, gently tugging, making him moan into the kiss. Your mouths were reckless and messy, but so fucking hot against each other. 

He was the first to pull away from you, the last shred of logic he had left willed him to because then, he truly didn’t care if he needed to breathe to survive. At that moment, your lips on his own were more important than anything else. Jamie fumbled with the zipper on the back of your dress as he left sloppy kisses down your neck. He inhaled your scent, groaning, unable to stop himself from grinding his hips against yours. You sighed in pleasure, arching your back to press closer to him. 

When he detached from your neck, he looked at you with eyes that nearly had you sinking to your knees without question. His eyes were wide, lust clouding his irises so much that you couldn’t recognize the color they’d become. He was panting, lips raw and red from kissing you. You saw traces of your lipgloss lingering on the side of his mouth, twinkling sinfully under the lights. You ran your thumb across his lips, trying to wipe the remnants of your mouth away from it. Jamie captured it between his lips and sucked on it, his tongue licking a stripe up the pad of your thumb. He placed a soft kiss on it before you pulled it too far from him. 

“What I wouldn’t give to see this look on your face again,” he sighed, beginning to kiss down your body. He placed a kiss on your collarbone, “And again.”

A kiss to your chest as he peeled your dress down, leaving your top half exposed, “And again.” A kiss on your boobs, nipping and biting at the soft flesh. Your skin was on fire. “And again.” 

He continued this down to your stomach. Jamie was on his knees, looking up at you pleadingly. He looked wrecked. He pulled your dress down, running his fingers over your panties as if asking if it was okay. You responded by placing a leg on his shoulder. He shuddered, reaching down his pants to adjust himself. He whimpered at the contact before returning his focus to you. 

He moved your panties to the side, whining at the way your slick looked so inviting for him. Jamie licked up your cunt, moaning into you, enjoying your taste. His cock was leaking pre-cum and it was so fucking painful, but he wasn’t going to let this moment go to waste without tasting you, feeling you. Jamie’s eyes fluttered shut when your fingers found his hair again, tugging him closer to where you needed him the most. 

“Right there, Jamie,” you panted, chest heaving. “So good for me, baby.” 

Jamie didn’t know that he could get more turned on. He was rock hard already, but hearing the pet name roll off your tongue, sounding so fucking spent, with you withering above him, made his cock twitch in his pants. He clumsily undid his zipper, pushing his slacks down to relieve himself from its confines. Jamie brought his hand back up to you. His tattooed arm was pressing down on your stomach, trying to keep you still. His other hand joined his tongue, fingers dipping inside your cunt. 

You mewled at the feeling of his fingers inside you. There were so many things happening. It felt so good. He was knuckles deep, lips wrapped around your bud when you felt that familiar knot in your belly. You pulled on his head, trying to warn him about what was coming. You were trying to give him an out just in case he didn’t want to be there when the dam broke. 

Jamie pulled away, staring at you with his face glistening with your slick. “Give it to me, baby. Want it so bad.” 

When he went back down on you, it didn’t take much to have you screaming. You were blubbering above him, crying out his name as your orgasm turned your limbs to jello. Jamie could no longer hold off. He pumped his cock just enough to relieve the pressure, but not enough to cum. He couldn’t come in his hand. He needed to come inside you. 

You pulled him up to kiss him again, sighing into his mouth when you tasted yourself on him. He led you through his hallway, picking you up so you could wrap your legs around him as he carried you up the stairs to his bedroom. You pushed yourself on him, moaning when you felt his cock prod your pussy. Your soaked panties and his thin boxers were the only things separating you from each other. 

He dropped you on his bed, not once disconnecting your lips. Jamie was on top of you, hips rocking against yours. You were tugging down your underwear, whining when the cool air hit your center. Jamie tugged his boxers off shortly after you. He hissed in pleasure when the head of his dick touched your entrance. 

In his distracted state, you flipped the both of you over so you were on top. You got on your knees, placing your body in between his separated legs. He looked at you questioningly, his face ever so expressive. You arched your back so you were leaning onto him. You grabbed his dick, lightly stroking it. Jamie scrunched his eyes closed, taking in a breath as you took your time with him. He backed up so his back was on his bed frame and you hungrily followed him. He crossed his arms behind his head. 

Jamie’s heart nearly stopped when your tongue licked up the side of his cock. You wrapped your lips around his head briefly, “Been wantin’ to taste ya since forever ago.” 

“Yeah?” Jamie breathed out, unable to look away from you. He groaned when you took his cock in your mouth, your hand wrapping around the rest of him that you couldn’t fit in your mouth. He tucked your hair behind your ears, trying to stop himself from bucking his hips up, “Been wantin’ you like this for so long. Wanted to feel that perfect pussy.” 

You groaned at his words, continuing to suck him off. He was a moaning mess, panting, hands gripping the sheets beside him. He abruptly pulled you off his dick, mumbling something about wanting to finish in your pussy. You hummed, connecting your lips once more. As he hovered over you, you leaned up to whisper in his ear. “Next time, I want you to fuck my mouth so hard I lose my voice. Don’t hold back, baby. Want to taste you.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jamie groaned, stopping his movements. He dropped his head on your shoulder. His dick was poking your pussy, more than ready to feel you around it. “You’re going to be the death of me.” 

“Told you, you couldn’t handle me.” 

Jamie licked his lips, a twinkle in his eye. “Told you, you were goin’ to regret sayin’ that, love.” 

Jamie pushed into you with fervor. Your scream bounced off the walls, and the air in your lungs disappeared. He looked down at you, a moan escaping his lips at how utterly perfect you looked under him. Your nails clawed at his back, no doubt leaving marks on it. Jamie couldn’t feel it. All he could feel was the warmth and tightness of you. His brain was shortcircuiting. He met no resistance from your pussy. It was so inviting. It was like it was made just for him. 

No coherent words left your lips. All you could babble out was Jamie’s name. You forgot every word besides his name. Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. Like a fucking mantra. Like a prayer. 

“Baby,” Jamie whispered. “Baby, please,” 

Your eyes were rolling back as you felt your orgasm coming quickly. Jamie was begging for you to come with him. He was close, so close that his ears were ringing. He couldn’t think about anything else but chasing his high and feeling you come undone around his cock. He thrusted into you with a rhythm that had you sobbing. The pleasure was so intense. You felt so full. 

Jamie felt your pussy tighten around him and his arms nearly gave out. He held himself on top of you, continuing to push into your pussy. His fingers found your clit, rubbing it at the perfect pressure to bring you to your end. 

“Shit,” Jamie hissed, unable to stop himself from pounding into you. You yelled out his name when you came, your pussy constricting around him as you orgasm. He buried his face into the crook of your neck, spilling himself inside of you shortly after. 

You cradled his head against you as he tried to catch his breath. When he pulled out of you, an involuntary sound left your mouth, suddenly feeling empty. Jamie chuckled at your reaction and let his eyes trail down your body. He licked his lips at the sight of his cum spilling out of you. 

You rolled over on your side, reaching up to fix his hair, “So what’s the verdict, Tartt? Can you handle me?” 

Jamie laughed, wrapping an arm around you. He placed his lips on yours, softer and sweeter this time. There was no more urgency between the both of you. “I don’t think I can.” 

“Told you.” 

“But, I think I just have to build my stamina up,” He added, his hand making its way down to your ass. “So I just need to practice some more with you.”

You smacked him on the shoulder, throwing your head back in laughter, “You’re ridiculous.” 

He smiled at you, teasing, “Hey, you’re the one who said there was a next time.” 

“Mhm,” you mumbled, kissing him again, “There will definitely be a next time.” 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being honest about what I would change about my boyfriend?

🥊🥊

I’m a cis guy (22m) and I have a boyfriend that’s transgender (20m). We’ve been together for 2 years.

My boyfriend is a very cute guy and he gets hit on a lot in queer spaces tbh. even by lesbians, and they fully see him as a guy. He’s just very sweet and approachable I guess. A lot of people tell him he’s super attractive and I agree, but there are just certain things about his body that don’t appeal to me.

We were at a friend’s birthday party. People got drunk, I was tipsy. We played this game that was like cards with questions about relationships/love/intimacy on them and the whole group would discuss.

One of the questions was something along the lines of "If you could change anything about your partner, what would it be?" Or whatever.

Now, I went first and said I’d probably make him less hairy and get rid of the dark spots in his crotch area and his acne scars. He has some discoloration around his private areas from a rash he got when he was like 13 and some faint scarring from pimples I guess. It’s not an issue, but definitely not my preference. Plus he can’t really shave clean down there because he has thick hair and it always makes him get those razor burn bumps or whatever. Fine by me, he’s hot as hell either way.

Plus, he has a lot of discoloration around his shoulders, back, chest and face from severe acne outbreaks from his puberty and then later again when he started taking testosterone. It’s calmed down a lot, but the scarring is still very prominent. It’s not an issue, just not very pretty to look at.

Please don’t get me wrong. He’s an incredibly attractive person, I just wish his skin was a little prettier. It’s a bit of a turnoff, that’s all. It never stopped me from being absolutely enamored with him.

But when I explained this, a little less explicitly than this of course, the group went dead silent. Everyone was staring at me, some of the girls even clasped their hands over their mouths etc.

When I looked at my boyfriend he was completely pale and was just blankly staring at me before getting up and saying he needs to pee. I just said okay and then gave the card to the person next to me. She very quietly said she’d take away her girlfriend’s anxiety because it hurts her to see the person she loves like that. That’s when it sort of dawned on me that I messed up and that I was way out of line for saying these things in front of our friends.

He apparently left soon after that, which I only found out through a friend. I was a little confused but figured he was just a little embarrassed. We don’t live together, so it isn’t unusual for one of us to leave before the other. But then I found out that his best friend left with him because he was sobbing and couldn’t stop.

I tried calling him and texting him for multiple hours and didn’t want to overstep any boundaries by just popping up at his home, so I gave up and eventually went home. That was two days ago and I still haven’t heard from him. He’s usually a very clingy and noisy person and always sends me small updates throughout the day, but I haven’t heard anything from him the entire time.

I’m so scared. I love this guy so much, he’s the sweetest and the single most interesting person I’ve ever met in my life. I know he has a lot of severe insecurity issues around his body, especially regarding his scarring. But it’s all gotten a lot better in recent months and he even began to love how hairy he is because it makes him feel euphoric.

Now I can’t help but feel like I took that away from him because of some stupid game. But at the same time, I don’t think it was fair for him to just up and leave without talking to me. We could’ve talked it out and I just wish he would communicate with me.

I already know I was a bit out of line for this, but I just tend to be uncomfortably honest. He knows this and loves me for it, so I’m confused why he’s THIS upset about this one. He’s never gone this long without talking to me.

Am I the asshole? I was just playing the game. I don’t think it’s fair to call me cruel for this just because other people are scared to be honest and say shit like they’d take away their partner’s mental illness. It’s so fake and that shit just pisses me off. Everyone has something they would change about their partner’s appearance.

[nicromancytarot]

LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY, HOW WILL IT BE? 18+

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I do not charge for these readings, and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I get for the readings, but I pull like 20-30 cards each reading and that is just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.

PICK A CARD READING

I asked my spirit guides what your first time ever having sex is going to be like, pick a picture and find out what they have to say!

PILE 1

THE SEX

You may find that your first time having sex with your person will be performed as you giving rather than them for the start, as like foreplay, you might begin with giving your person some light touches or possibly some head. The person that you sleep with for your first time is going to really enjoy your butt, they may like how it looks from behind, or they just enjoy being able to touch it. The sex itself will be steady and will take its time, you’ll be spending at least a few hours on this session, You may play the more masculine and responsible role for this time. You may feel as though you need a minute either between sessions or after you’re done entirely, you could want to spend some time alone to recalculate and think about the sex, or you could just be really tired afterwards.

If you’re with someone who has a penis, then I do feel like handy’s will be a common thing happening during your first time, that could be how you start the session, or even how you end it, they also might need a little more time to get it up, or perhaps you need some time to get aroused. You may find that this person is a tad selfish when it comes to sex, possibly not entertaining all of your needs, it is important that you tell them if you are not happy or ok with something.

You could be friends with the person that you are sleeping with, this situation could appear as a friendly hookup for the sake of losing it in time for college for example, or just getting with a crush, I don’t see much romantic commitment for this group.

You may feel as though this situation posed itself as random or spontaneous, it doesn’t seem that you at all planned for this to happen, and due to this you are feeling indecisive on how far you wish for the situation to go, however it does seem like it goes pretty far lol. A hookup doesn’t seem like something you’d have wanted, or intended to happen, but I think you’ll surprise yourself.

AFTERWARDS

You’ll feel very powerful in the fact that you took charge during this situation, maybe even free and reborn as it wasn’t a planned thing. You may feel as though you love your body more, and appreciate your physical abilities more than you did before having sex. Some of you could find yourself wanting to deepen the connection between you and this person, friend to crush, or crush to relationship. You could become more in tune with yourself sexually, and possibly even more willing to try different things, this random situation popping up and you going along with it will feel very freeing and comfortable, like you are discovering more about your wants and needs when it comes to sex and intimacy. This could also get rid of any commitment issues you had prior to this day/night.

PILE 2

THE SEX

The person that you have sex with may have been eyeing you up for a while, it could be someone that has had a crush on you, or possibly even someone that you have a crush on, either way there is an amount of pining, mutual or not. The sex itself could be very unexpected and maybe even a tad indecisive or rebellious, this could be with someone you shouldn’t have sex with. You may both know what you want sexually immediately after it begins, they could even possibly tell you, or you tell them exactly what you intend on happening during this session. If they have a penis, you may have to hold it with two hands rather than one, it could be quite large or even thick, honestly could hurt a fair amount when you guys sleep together.

There is a lack of stability in this connection during this time with each other, you may feel as though it’s random, quick, unexpected or even stupid, like it’s a bad idea but you just can’t help yourself. They could buy you something, like a necklace or some other jewellery to try and sweet talk you, this could be a connection that goes on before the sex rather than a meaningless hookup. The person that you sleep with thinks that you are very beautiful, specifically your chest area, they may like to see your breasts or touch them often, they could even put you into positions that will ensure your chest is exposed to them, like missionary for example.

You may know what you want before you sleep with this person, some of you could be hypersexual and know exactly what you desire when it comes to sex. They may offer you a relationship after the sex, or possibly even ask if you want to go on a date with them another time, I’m not too sure if you’ll feel much else for them besides sexual attraction. You could try out lots of things, whether that’s positions or even actions.

AFTERWARDS

Possible disappointment when it comes to afterwards, you may have not finished and they could’ve, which makes you feel as though your time was wasted. This time could make you feel less attraction towards this person once you’re done having sex with them. This person could even be an ex or someone you had prior feelings for but now you feel nothing, as if the sex was a tad too disappointing to entertain them for anymore after the sex. It may not even relate to the physical feeling of your sexual encounter, but rather the emotional aspect, perhaps you had a situation where there was nothing more than sexual attraction, so that intimacy was missing during your time together and it makes you feel like something is lacking.

PILE 3

THE SEX

Much like pile one, you guys are also starting off with some foreplay including head, you may spend a fair amount of time giving your person head, paying attention to their needs before focusing on your own. I got the word “puke” so you may need to work on your gag reflex to ensure you don’t throw up or end up feeling sick during this time, also try not to push yourself too hard and take your time.

I feel like you guys are in a relationship when having sexual contact with this person, your relationship is based around a healthy friendship, either you guy are like friends who date, or you may have started out as friends before beginning to date. Your person wants you to focus on your stability first, they may show you that they can look after you by doing something for you, you will feel as though they appreciate your body but don’t ONLY appreciate you for your body, this way they will ensure that you feel comfortable knowing that their attraction for you extends past sexual.

You may feel like this sex offers you everything you want, like it cements your relationship and commitment to each other. The sex could help you feel more in touch with your feminine energy, you may get to lay back and allow the other person to take charge after you’ve done your bit of foreplay.

You could be on top, but they will control the pace for you.

Like I said before, this connection is built off of stability, so you will feel very loved, safe and protected during this time together.

AFTERWARDS

You guys may have spent a while with each other having sex, so you could be very tired after, and may need a fair amount of time to recharge. You’ll feel very progressed and improved after having sex with your person, as if you know where you are going with your connection, and like your commitment has reached a new level of comfort, this may even help you a lot with some past, uncomfortable sexual experiences that you may have had. I feel like this will almost rewrite past events and help you heal from them, if you were slut-shamed for stuff in the past, you may feel a fair amount of guilt for having sex, however this experience could help you with this issue or possible insecurity.

[anantaru]

DAY 16 — DUMBIFICATION

kinktober 2023. — masterlist | ao3

kink. dumbification — dumbing down one's intelligence, treating you like their personal, little airhead who likes nothing more than to please them

𖧡 — including — tighnari, dottore, scaramouche, childe

𖧡 — warnings — fem! reader, dumbification, dom/sub dynamics, petnames: toy, cocksleeve, princess, baby, cockwarming, mean but only a little i prommy, dry humping, oral (male! receiving), both parties are consenting

𖧡 — TIGHNARI

you encounter a bitter chuckle and it pelts over your natural sensors when tighnari folds one arm around your waist as you straddle him— you're quick to swallow down a suppressed whimper when he swiftly rides your shirt up and rests it above your exposed breasts, revealing the glow of your juddering skin to his famished, gluttonous eyes.

"you're not allowed to move, okay?" he orders, his jaw tensed and constricted before adding to his somewhat condescending choice of tone, "just keep still while i continue my work load."

"you can do that, right?" and you nod all bubbly at him, quite excitedly, the untroubled feverishness that had been enclosing you from the inside now burned brightly and manifesting into something much more intense— your flailing hole clenching around nothing as you claw around his chest, you're so obedient to his orders it's almost unfathomable, or at least that's what tighnari always seems to think.

he gestures you to lift up your hips a little so he could line himself with your slit, your legs growing achy at the intentional, almost beguiling idleness on how tighnari took his sweet moment with you even though you could barely wait to feel him prod inside.

before at last, he rubs his bulbous tip over your aching pussy and aids you in taking all his inches down. he paws around your chest with one hand, cruelly trapping one erected nipple against his pointer finger and thumb before twisting it ever so slightly— again, this time with a tremor of judders spreading on your tit before your eyes toss back into the remotest part of your skull.

tighnari heaves out a satisfied hum at your obedience, the vibrations of his voice soothingly reverberating through your trembling skin as you swathe your arms around his neck, "fuck— so good, who would've thought, huh?" he praises, the sloppiness of your pussy making it quite easy for tighnari to sheathe himself entirely inside.

"but what else is expected," he heaves a shrill noise and stops himself in midst sentencing when you gush around him, his dick twitching and hardening when your slit oozes of your arousal and dribbles along the slopes of his balls, "—from someone, fuck! who has nothing else to offer other than this."

for reasons unbeknownst to you, this particular sentence didn't hit you as hard as you originally thought it would because, frankly— you really do give him everything he wanted, but so did he, occasionally, fulfill any wishes you had. call it a equivalent exchange, or you being way too air headed to realize that tighnari was using you for your body, a quick fuck so he could get rid of the aching pain in his groin and was able to focus on his piling work.

now, tighnari's heavy erection was making you feeling weaker and you swear, you can feel him throb inside your lower belly by how deep and thick he buried himself in, your fingertips digging into the flesh of his back when all you needed for was for him to finally move, or at least finish his jarring work load so he'd perhaps become a little more relaxed, and relatively nicer before pleasing you in a correct manner.

you furiously throb whilst gushing on his length and the man tosses his head to the side, his ears twitching of sensitivity due to the chain reaction of his groin receiving way too much overflowing pleasure before eyeing his work load up and down in an annoying glance, biting down hard on his tongue as he feels you writhe and twitch around his length— all the while shallowly thudding over his soaked shaft, his tip pressing into one tantalizing patch inside of your walls and ugh, what a bummer, finishing his task will be one difficult duty to fulfill.

however, you would never leave nor complain, you're way too excited and delighted to have a cock overbrim you to the hilt, your sticky walls peppering kisses around his shaft and warming him up as tighnari can leisurely carry on to finish his work for the night.

𖧡 — DOTTORE

dottore thinks it's amusing how much you liked for his cock to be warmed up inside your mouth with his velvety tip repeatedly prodding at the back of your sensitive throat— the harbinger was mischievous on his own accordance, and it's one of the reasons your attraction to him was like an intoxication, proceeding to do whatever he wanted you to do without pondering around his requests at least once.

"you're not crying, are you?" the man chastises with his eyes locked down on your body being slotted between his parted thighs, "it's not too much, right?" and his large palm soothingly trails over your cheek to brush the single droplet off your face. it was apparent that with his thick shaft being enclosed by your mouth, it was growing more difficult to breathe out nor answer him without muttering incoherently and making an even bigger fool out of yourself— yet despite that, for you, it was never too much, never too rough when he fucked your mouth or your sweet, perfect cunt for that matter.

because you see, you adored him, all of him and yearned for dottore to fuck you stupid, call you his airhead or precious cocksleeve, until you're nothing but a hiccuping mess of a person around his length with a mixture of saliva and his salty pre dribbling down your chin and gathering on the cold, office floor.

you swallow around his groin before hollowing your cheeks, your head spinning into a cloud with the feeling of him charging into your mouth without a single inch of remorse, your big puppy eyes fluttering up at him behind doused lashes as he brushes a large hand through your hair, your eyes brilliant of exclaimed trills happily pummeling at your affection for him.

it's a perfect situation in your eyes and there was nothing better than being used by the second harbinger, and so was he ethereal to you, the sounds of him talking in such low manners, for one without a threatening tone lacing the beginnings of his sentences has the reactive pearl between your folds throbbing, the wetness of your sticky cunt splattering all over your panties.

you continue to shower his length with affection, parading your warm tongue around the underside of his shaft, always putting the pleasure there especially prominent because well— dottore has trained you adequately after all, had shown you how to tackle him so he could feverishly cum down your constricted throat and spit his milky whites down the aching, used spots in your used mouth.

bobbing your head up and down, you swallow back the drool budding inside your warmth, yet leaving most of it prancing on top of your tongue so it could act as a lubrication, a choked moan suddenly rattling above your head as dottore conceals his lips with the back of his hand before coughing out— his pale cheeks scarlet red, his face twisted akin to a wicked, indulgent countenance as you curve your palm around his balls to smear the trickling saliva on the flesh.

how adorable his enchanting toy was to him, being so unbelievably skilled at taking his cock all the way up to the base, your lips moving in tandem with his strong thrusts into your wet warmth— utterly aware that for you, there was nothing more pleasing than to end a night with his seedy arousal marking up the entirety of your throat, using you as his own dumb, little cock sleeve, his pleasure-seeking princess, instantly parting your mouth the moment he simply told you to do you.

𖧡 — SCARAMOUCHE

"i must admit, i have neglected you," scaramouche hums quietly into your neck, his cold hands soothing over the slopes of your body as you squeal when his cock first enters you— committed to the usual rhythm on his hips, he had long since engraved it in his very own memories, his large cock parting your slit as you squeeze around him, quick to angle your hips a little so he could press himself in deeper.

you whine, your juices running down your plush ass before you shut your thighs around his hips, growing more constricted, "ah— it's okay, kuni," you take a moment to lock gazes with him while he eases himself back and forth your warmth— ugh, you're so tight it's truly unfair, and his cock was weighing down around the thudding splotches of your pussy before throbbing and thickening inside, perhaps giving you a taste of your own medicine.

so you could manage feel him, so your hands could helplessly fly up to his hair and rush him into a feverish, messy kiss.

"I really did miss you," scaramouche was the first to speak out again, smitten and yearning for more, his voice muffled by your lips and the tone of his voice buzzing while his dick continues to add some faint, hasty pumps into your slit, the velvety feel of his shaft reaching so far up and shamelessly shaping your most, delicious sweet spots which had your eyes curve back into the deepest spots of your skull.

despite everything, despite scaramouche barely reaching out to if it wasn't for getting his cock wet— you always seem to welcome him graciously and without asking irritating question, the ecstasy running through your entire nervous system as you wait and wait fro him.

although mostly being left behind and forgotten, yet you still show up whenever he does reach out and call you over— when he all of a sudden, in under a dime, tends to be so charming and longing towards you, kissing the crown of your head before addressing you as his most beloved toy— not that he voiced it out loud but his choked whimpers spoke more than a thousand words ever could, consistently greedy to clamp hard around the curves of his cock that you force him almost out of you again, copious amounts of your juices oozing out of your cunt and soiling his trimmed pubic hair, a reminder that you truly belong to each other.

𖧡 — CHILDE

you're clumsily falling forward into childe's clothed chest as you straddle his waist, immediately intertwining your arms around his neck as your forearms rest on his shoulders— your pretty frame wiggling deliriously and needful before billowing your hips against his concealed erection scratching over the tight confines of his pants.

"you missed this, didn't you?" he shakes his head at you, finding your shape on top of him to be the most delicious and sweetest in all around teyvat, without mentioning how you madly force your hips down on his cock— desperate and even more shameless that ajax cannot even fathom just how clouded your rational thoughts had become sometimes, always there when he craves you, not caring about the red flags of him obviously just using your body, only the thought of his perfectly carved cock being nestled inside you remaining on top.

for now, you love bouncing up and down his erection, even though he wouldn't let it spring free from his pants so you could rest it on the top of your tongue— the tips of his ears flushing red when you frustratedly whine at him, every thrust of your hips progressively growing faster and rougher that even childe had to suppress a couple moans and keep them locked inside his chest.

"I'll make it up to you later, baby," he drawls before moving the fabric of your panties to the side, your slicked cunt had long since soiled the flimsy material to the hilt that they instantly stick against the bridge of your pussy and thighs, just heavenly to present him a enchanting view of your swollen folds itching to touch his silken skin, his angry tip throbbing behind the rough garments of his pants and childe can sense that he was already leaking clear pre.

"you need to make me feel good before, yeah?"

there's a hidden rasp in his voice that you weren't able to discern for what it was, and that particular shade of a condescending tone pummeling against your ear shells weren't much of help— no two ways about it but sometimes the eleventh harbinger did give off the idea that he wasn't taking you seriously enough, that he believed you weren't able to ponder over more meaningful conversations, only faultless when you aided him in his painful groin getting the best out of him.

now, he plants his palms around your hips to drag your naked pussy against his shaft himself— but considering the fact that you weren't actually stupid, you knew that this "special" relationship, as he called it, was more of a convenience for the young harbinger, never needing to worry himself about finding someone for a quick fuck when he could just call you instead, being aware that you would jump the second he orders you to come over.

his cock was just that good, always so utterly fine when slipping inside and battering your creamy walls, hammering into the most sensitive parts that lie hidden within your silky slit before it's getting too much for you to bear— trembly fingers clawing at his chest in search of stability when you hide your face in his neck, the slow burn on his shaft expelling electric ripples that caused a belting havoc on your sensitive sex, pushing a pitchy whine hand in hand with a moan of his name from the tip of your tongue, a breathless heave finishing the sinfulness of your noises.

oh, well, childe can use you for all you care— since needless to say, you're getting your fair share out of it too, keeping your ass in a precise trace on top of him as you begin to rock your wet cunt over his groin, understanding that whenever he was on the edge of tasting his strong climax prodding at the knot in his lower belly— it will be much easier to make him comply to a simple request from you;

hmm, lets take an example: perhaps a new, costly bag from fontaine or a hand crafted, brilliant bracelet from liyue? childe will unfailingly say yes and agree to whatever you whisper into his ear, he simply cannot deny a single request when you're, night and day, so hungry to comply to him.

©2023 anantaru's kinktober do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[tasteracha]

kinktober — day four

kink: body worship with changbin

warnings: smut - MINORS DNI. implied thick!reader (but can be read with any body type). mentions of body insecurity. afab!reader.

when changbin get home from work, he finds you wrapped in a big sweatshirt and a blanket, hood pulled all the way up and your entire body a shapeless lump on the couch. it’s one of those days - not especially bad, but the kind of day that left you not wanting to be perceived. if you could have become one with the couch, you would have. 

living together is new - being together in general is new. you’ve been friends for years and years, but only took the plunge into a relationship recently, falling into each other in fast forward until you were moving in with him after just a few months. him coming home to you every day just felt so natural though, and with the frequency of how often one of you stayed the night at the others it just made sense. 

“hi, beautiful,” he greets you as he flops next to you, bone-deep tiredness clear in the way he melts against your side. he makes your heart squeeze as he nuzzles his head into your chest, and it threatens to beat right out of your skin.

“‘m not,” you mumble out, unable to keep it in. you’re usually so careful about separating your insecurities from him, scared to show them to him even though you know he would be nothing but sweet to you about it.

“excuse me?” he says, sitting up so quick you’re surprised he didn’t get whiplash from it. he left you no time to regret your words as he frames your face with both of his hands and turns your head to face him. “say that again.”

“i just,” you try and look away but he nudges your head back towards his face again. “i don’t think i am. beautiful. i guess i’m not ugly but i’ve never felt like i was something special, you know?”

“no, i don’t.” he says with intense ferocity, finality on his tongue like he was begging you to try and argue with what he knew was truth. “i’ve always thought you were gorgeous, even before we were together.”

“i guess i just don’t see myself that way,” you sigh, wishing you simply hadn’t opened your mouth. 

“every single part of you is beautiful, do you understand?” he rubs his thumbs against your cheekbones before sliding his hands down past your shoulders. 

“these arms?” he squeezes your upper arms with both of his hands, using his thumb to caress the skin there. “i dream about them, the way you wrap them around me when you’re happy or excited, it’s my favorite place to be.”

“but yours are too-“

“this isn’t about me,” he cuts you off, sharply but not unkind. he moves to your breasts, caressing them more gently than he ever had before.

“these? do you even see how many people stare at you when we go out at night?” he asks, pinching a bit at your skin. “it makes me so jealous, makes me want to take you home and keep you all to myself always. no one should be able to appreciate you but me.”

his hands roam further down, slotting themselves over your hips and squeezing with his fingertips. 

“see these? they’re what i use to hold you down when you’re on top of me. how else would i be able to get you in the exact position i want you, hmm?”

your breath picks up as his fingers ghost over the swell of your lower belly, and you have to resist the urge to curl up around yourself so that he doesn’t see you. 

“this?” he leans down to pepper kisses against your burning skin, leaving invisible marks that you can feel as though they were tattoos. “this is perfection. i want to bury my face in your stomach and suffocate in it, this isn’t a flaw to be hidden. it’s not something that you need to get rid of, not something that you shouldn’t have. it’s part of you, and that means that it’s perfect.”

his words are washing over you like tidal waves, wiping out your thoughts and replacing them with his. it’s all complimented by the scorching touch of his hands on your skin, you can feel him everywhere, consuming your entire being. 

“your thighs?” he continues, kneading at the skin around your quads. “they were made to be on a goddess, do you get it? i want to sink my teeth into them and never let go. i want to cover your thighs in bite marks until you can’t see your skin anymore, so they’re all mine.”

he grabs your ass with both hands, his long fingers covering a surprising amount of surface area as they dig into your muscle. 

“and do not get me started on this ass. this belongs in museums, on display so everyone can see what perfection looks like and feel bad about themselves for not being this perfect.”

and it’s a bit silly that you start crying because of that, but you can’t contain your bubbling emotions anymore. salty tears leave your eyes and you move to cover your face, but he stops you before you can.

“i don’t love you despite these things,” he says, caressing your face with the gentlest touch, feather soft. “i love you because of them. i’m sorry that i’ve never told you like this how obsessed with you i am. i think you are the most exquisite person that has ever walked this earth. do you understand?”

“yes,” you breathe out, finally understanding. finally accepting what he was saying.

“good,” he lets a smile creep onto his face, cheeks filling out. “now, will you let me make my pretty girl feel good?” 

you nod, taking in a gulping breath as he slowly undresses you, taking time to run his hands over your skin reverently. when he takes off your panties you’re surprised by how wet you are, the cold air hitting your pussy and making you shiver. he runs a finger through your folds, collecting the slick there and spreading it to your clit. 

“this perfect pussy? how could i want anything else when this is all mine?” he circles around your clit one, two three times before sliding one finger into you, slow enough that it makes you shiver. he crooks his finger inside of you, massaging your walls languidly like he’s mapping out every single millimeter of you to memory. it’s almost more overwhelming than when he bends you over and takes you on the kitchen table, hurried and frantic, because at least then you didn’t have time to think. now, you have all the time in the world to focus on the way he feels inside you, the way his free hand is warm on your thigh where it’s squeezing, the way his own breath catches when you clench around him like he’s the one with a finger inside of him. 

“i could keep my fingers inside of you all day, that’s how much i love it.” he slips another inside and you sigh at the stretch, your muscles tensing when he finds the spot inside of you that sends sparks running through your nervous system. he smiles at you, almost wickedly, before speeding up his movements, accentuating them by pressing his thumb to your clit. almost too fast, you feel your orgasm approaching, much slower than you’ve ever felt it. you can almost see it taking over your body, a golden light starting at your fingers and toes and spreading up your limbs to your core, slow inch by slow inch. you forget to breath, gulping in air when the light finally snaps into place, squeezing your legs around his hand as you ride it out for what feels like straight minutes. 

you come back to yourself in his arms, his fingers stroking the wispy strands of hair across your forehead out of your eyes. he’s looking at you with the fondest smile you’ve ever seen, like he can’t believe that he gets to hold you in his arms like this. 

“don’t hide these things from me anymore, okay? i can’t make you feel better if i don’t know that you’re feeling bad in the first place.” 

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