#like i was so polite to u even tho u were already so cranky like...why would u do that :(((((

[ice-devourer]

a government worker was a little mean and now im sad i hatehate hate being sensitive

[castle-dominion]

c4x6 demons

Nice big moon there oh yes buzzfeed unsolved moments! I should finish watching that with my older bro... Where's the van outside tho? How do the doors close again? Maybe ghosts ARE real. Like in murdoch mysteries & then it was never again acknowledged that murdoch could see ghosts What can he see? I thought the thing came from you-know-where?

AC, on her dad's lap as they watch a movie together but then he tilts her in front of him: Dad, are you using me as a shield against flesh-eating zombies? She looks so adult. & oddly tanned. RC: I know he's busy, and you are very thoughtful to be so accommodating, sweetheart, but a healthy relationship is based on mutual respect. I mean, think about what kind of signal you're sending if you're the one always re-arranging your schedule at the other one's every beck and call. I mean, if you just drop everything the very moment that— *beckett calls* *castle drops everything at her call*

RC: The Ghost Wranglers are here? Okay, that's why I love these guys. Body's not even cold, they're already tracking down the ghost. KB: Why doesn't it surprise me that you actually watch that ridiculous show? GIRL SHUT UP RC: Ridiculously awesome. Jack Sinclair is, *becks turns to him in shock* hands down, America's most accomplished ghost hunter. KB: Um...Castle...Jack Sinclair is the name of our victim.

LP: His throat was slit almost from ear to ear, jugular, superior thyroid, common carotid left and right. You name it, it's been severed. Sexy Can't you be behind the guy? Heck yeah ghost killer! She works with dead ppl don't let her believe in ghosts

Oh nice maybe they caught the murder on camera castle explaining what it means <3 So many angles! Mum & I both immediately knew it wasn't begging for mercy. An emp maybe? (btw I'm pronouncing it émp' like in rvb when they were arguing abt it) GIRL IF THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT THAT IS A RECENT UPSET IN RELATIONSHIPS, THAT'S WHAT THEY ASKED ABOUT

Ryan's nice red sweater over his suit uwu JE: Right. Hey, we're still on for dinner tomorrow night, right? Me: what? Maybe it's a game night or smth not a date haha KR: Oh, yeah, Jenny's totally psyched. Me: oh KR: She's never really hung out with Lanie before, so *full body nod* cool. JE: Well, just to let you know, Lanie's gonna be getting off a double shift. So, she could be a little cranky. KR: Oh. *squints eyes* Maybe we should reschedule. I mean, isn't the whole point for Jenny and Lanie to get along? JE: Nah, she'll be cool. Just, you know, don't say anything controversial. KR, walking back over & crossing arms: Like what? What's controversial? [The computer makes a sound.] JE: Bingo. KR: Bingo. Don't talk about Bingo? JE: No. *gestures with some irritation* Barry Bavetta's been busy, and so has his lap. Dude has racked up a hell of a tab at a strip club

RC: We heard you were racking up quite a bill. Or is that billing quite a rack?

Sounds like he said he did kill the guy but obv it couldn't have been him. "you decided to prove him wrong"

Killing time was KIND OF funny "apparition american" KB: You'll see, Castle. This'll turn out just like every other murder investigation. *Ryan walks up looking concerned.* Once we find out more about our victim's life, the details surrounding his death, everything will be explained. KR: Um…maybe not everything. Mr irish folklore over there he looks SO mildly concerned & shaken & I LOVE it, good acting b'y *gestures politely to send castle in first* Caught a ghost! So cool!

Posting that intro on my blog

B'y surely u got SOME sleep esposito smiling watching castle set up his ghost murder board *drank her coffee* RC: ready for this? Espt *nods* RC: a demon

RC: That's not a real thing, you know. That real ghost hunters use. JE: "Real" ghost hunters? Isn't that a contradiction in terms, bro? Oxymoron? Nah man let people have their beliefs I thought that "I do" was Ryan Ooh Ryan nice tie! RC: You see? I am telling you, there is something going on with this house. The last people-- to-- *Castle tries to flip the board back around, but Beckett stops him.* RC: The last people that lived there moved out four years ago in a hurry. KR, breathy: Why? RC: I don't know, but I think it's time we found out. KB: Knock yourself out, Castle. RC: You're not coming? KB: No. I've got a murder to solve. KR sidles up to castle, eyes wide, eyebrow raised, mouth open: I'll go. *softly* [Beckett gives Ryan a look. Castle smiles at Ryan, then turns and sees Beckett's expression and his face falls. Beckett narrows her eyes.] RC: Ooh. That's a look. KR, looking down & to the side: Yeah. RC: I get these a lot. Just start walking. Faster. [Beckett watches them leave, then smiles & looks over at the empty coffee cups.] Ryan really is becoming castle jr!

Poor beckett, castle drank her coffee then said he'd make her one then he doesn't & she burns herself on it. I like the idea of ryckett & casito but rn we have some rystle & especkett scenes. JE: Yo. I, uh, just saw Ryan downstairs. I can't believe you let him go chasing ghosts with Castle. KB: Yeah. Maybe Shaggy'll keep Scooby out of trouble. Besides, you never know, maybe they'll come up with something useful. JE: Oh, you want useful. *sarcastic surprise* 'Cause I just spoke to CSU. They found fingerprints at the scene from a real live person, so… *points & wiggles finger* Becks still has the coffee with her

Girl maybe he thinks he was molested by a ghost it is not your business to make fun of the (probably psychological) issues of a man in prison! Wow the grammar & spelling... the handwriting is fine

Poor guy, he has to live with his mom bc he's an ex-con, he violated his parole for the guy who ruined his prison life, I just really feel for this guy. Prophesy vibes

This is so cool & cute & funny & scary! RC, trying not to show his excitement over the ghost: Oh, my God, that's terrible Ryan looking mildly freaked out is my new favourite thing Mercedes King & Mercy LaGrande are both cool names KB: So the question is, how is she involved in all of this? *rystle look at each other & hop up quickly* RC: Uh, well, you know, uh, Ryan and I would be glad to go check this out *ryan nods half winks* if you guys are too busy solving that murder. *especkett share a look*

Oh & now caskett is here instead of rystle These folks are doctors. They are psychologists, they are pharmacists, they are the medical professionals of the past. & I respect them. Why did he say mercy I can see IT not HIM? his face is an it but jack could have said him too.

Give that man a prize. tbh I expected the pics to be even more gory Murdoch mind moments!

I love the term on the lam, I like this guy's shirt (I have one from hot topic that looks like it lol) RC, looking to beckett: Really? He claimed there was a demon involved? AS: I know. Like anyone's going to fall for that, right? I mean, what kind of jackass did he think he was dealing with?

Ooh info! Cool! Valid, he probably turned him away. Yep you need a warrant babe. Do you need a warrant to get their car service logs? Ooh I love it when they do that! There was this one time a serial killer was watching TV with his wife 20 or 30 years later or smth & they said "this is a serial killer, we think he looks like this" with an aged up model including the style of glasses he would most likely wear & the wife looked at him & said "it looks exactly like you" & they both just laughed it off bc how could this guy my husband be a serial killer? lol that's so silly how he looks like the killer.

KB: Wait a minute, don't you guys have dinner plans tonight? KR, afraid: Uh, we can move it to…some night when Lanie's not coming off a double shift. JE: Uh, actually, Lanie's really looking forward to it. KB: You know what? No worries. It's on my way home. [Beckett takes the photos.] KR+JE: You sure? KB: That I don't want to be the one to blame for ruining Lanie's night out? Oh, yeah. I am sure.

Martha <3 Ooh hoo wowie look at alexis! & going to a party too! No he literally just called, you can answer & say she just went out bc she had plans or smth! gah!

Ooh scottish architecture! Ooh Laird's Lugs! KB: We'll go first thing in the morning, see what we come up with. RC: *puppydog eyes* KB: You want to go now?

RC: For me. Please. KB: I ain't afraid of no ghosts. *ghostbusters theme*

She's pulling his leg KB: How long have you known me, Castle? Of course I don't believe in ghosts. *door closes* RC: What was that? *lights go out* KB: Well, that's odd. RC: No, that's more than just odd. This is the same sequence of events that preceded Jack Sinclair's murder. KB: Except Jack only had an EMF meter. I've got a gun and a flashlight. *The flashlight goes out.* Except wouldn't their phones also be out? Gosh it's hard to be on someone's shoulders *grabs* KB: *gasps!!* Castle, I said legs, okay? RC: Oh. Legs. Sorry.

LP: Not as sorry as I was. I'm around dead people all day. When I get home, I want a live one. JE, eating: I was tired. [Ryan and Jenny laugh.] JO: I can't believe we waited so long to do this, babe. KR, wearing his fortnightversary tie: Yeah. Yeah, it really did turn out to be a perfect night. JE: *winks at ryan* KR: I would like to propose a toast. I know that it's kind of corny, but it's me, (yeah lol) so well, there we go. Uh, to best friends, now and forever. [They toast.] JO: Cheers. JE: And to the future newlyweds. JO: Aww. [They toast again.] KR: You are so thoughtful. LP: Cheers. JO: You know, Kevin said you guys made a great couple, *Lanie smiles & leans towards javier* but I had no idea. [Lanie and Esposito cuddle and lean in to kiss.] JO: So, when are you two getting married? [That kills the mood and Esposito and Lanie recoil w/o even kissing.] KR: JO: LP: JE: *stares daggers at Ryan* KR: *moves to drink his wine during the awkward silence.*

Sad that they found a magnetic field generator to explain the moving tripod BUT wouldn't it have also moved every other tripod & any metal that Sinclair had on him? WHY is it creaking tho? *makes castle open the door* Oh it's a rat It's like when higgins kissed a corpse! Well he fell on it & his lips touched its lips but he was so grossed out about kissing a corpse & that's totally valid Poor castle lol

Hide & seek lol. In the morgue: *Beckett exits and Castle stops on his way out* RC: Hey, how'd that double date go? LP: *crosses her arms and glares.* RC: I-- I just… LP: *eye twitches* *KB comes back in abt the case, but castle leaves past her* RC: Don't ask her about the date.

KR: Look, I said I'm sorry, okay? t-- h-- I didn't mean to jinx the dinner. JE: (imitating)"This really is the perfect night." KR: Jenny got a little caught up in the moment. JE: (falsetto)"When are you two getting married?" That's a question you do not ask! (Yeah jenny, sorry. I love you plenty tho. btw when are we going to find out she's a spy like with terrence myers or mary morstan) [Ryan sighs.] JE, mellowing out: I-- You know, it's-- it's not entirely your guys' fault. KR: You guys have a big fight after? JE: Big fight? *laughing* No. Mega fight, *seriously* yes. *ryan nods* The point is, we, um…we decided that we're gonna cool things off. (Good facial expressions.) KR, sad for his friend: Wait, you mean split up? JE: Yeah. Just until we both figure out what we want. *looks down kinda sad but also an "i don't talk about emotions" way* KR: Man, I'm so sorry. JE: Anyway. *starts ignoring him* KR: Look, brother, if you need anything, you know I'm always here… What? Friendship<3 also "brother" is such a Term

WHOA THE BRO GOT THE GIRL? Cafe jouer not cafe jouerre bro Either it's weird how he remembers all the details or they got burned into his brain bc of that event or it's weird how he remembers all the details bc they would be overshadowed by the horror.

KR: It wasn't someone Melanie worked with. I just tracked down George Banner, Melanie's manager at Flywide Travel twenty years ago. He said Melanie had two co-workers: KR: both guys. RC: A-ha. KR: Married. RC: Still… KR: To each other. (XD WOW) RC: Oh. I mean bisexuality, maybe they invited her to join idk The way castle's hair moves lol

It is not going to be him Ooh strong man there WOAH DETECTIVE SMITH!? Yeah I can understand why you... wait he killed her too I forgot AS: You're both very smart, but you're forgetting one thing. Me: you have a gun? AS: This house is haunted. Nice, lights out scene, fun. Now becks has also lost her gun, maybe ryan won't feel so bad about tyson getting the drop on him.

AS: Get on your knees. *castle starts moving* KB: Don't worry, Castle. He's not gonna shoot us. That won't fit the legend. AS: *pulls a sexy knife* rysposito had better be around Technically that's illegal tho

Ooh castle is so right! Jack sinclair's ghost was TOTALLY solving the murder! Sussy elevator (are ghosts canonically real?)

Oh no I feel bad for ashlexis. Castle said "goin'a" like "going ta" except since n & t are in the same place in the mouth he just said goin'a, not quite "gonna" Cuddling <3 Flesh eating zombies I love their father daughter love time Wait am I in the zombie movie? As soon as they press play we're going to be attacked by zombies!

[marmolita]

belonging, ch1 (kink week day 1)

Heeeeeeey there!  So I wanted to write a chaptered fic for @ffxv-kink-week​ but then I ran out of time, but then, I wanted to do it anyway, so I started writing a sequel to my other D/s-verse fic heart and soul.  If you haven’t read that one, all you need to know for this is that it’s D/s-verse, Noct is a dom, and Iggy and Gladio are his collared subs.  Once I get a bit farther along I’ll start posting to AO3, but for now, here it is on tumblr!  For the kink week day 1 prompt of authority kinks.

Title: belonging  Pairings: Noctis/Prompto, Noctis/Ignis/Gladio, eventual OT4  Rating: Explicit  Words: ~2300 Warnings: none, at least none in this chapter

Teaser: Prompto taps his phone, rewinding the clip to the beginning to play again. Bless IBC for always putting news clips online right away, because after watching the live feed of the Kingsglaive swearing-in ceremony Prompto immediately wanted to watch it again.  And again.  And again, and okay, maybe he's got one hand in his pants while he's watching it but Noct looks so good all dressed up.

"It'll be the exhibition match on Thursday afternoon, then the swearing-in ceremony Friday evening, then the banquet right after," Ignis says, thumbing through email on his phone as he pulls on his clothes. "Gladio, I assume you'll have His Highness in top form for the exhibition?"

"'Course I will. He's been training with the Glaives for the last couple weeks, right Noct?" Gladio prods Noctis with the ball of his foot, and Noctis swats him away.

Laying back on the pillows, Noctis says, "As long as I don't have to go against Nyx I'll be fine. That guy could kick Gladio's ass."

"Yes, well. I'm sure he'd let you win for show anyway," Ignis replies as he buttons up his shirt.

"I don't want to win for show -- that wouldn't help with the whole filling-in-for-my-dad in the ceremony. People already think I'm too young, or too weak, or too . . . whatever."

Ignis sits on the bed next to him, setting a hand on Noct's knee through the blanket. "Don't worry about what they think. You're going to do just fine."

"You think so?"

Ignis leans in and kisses him, soft and light. "I know so."

*

The exhibition is in the courtyard, with bleachers erected on both sides. Gladio eyes the crowd briefly, then turns to survey the arena. "Don't forget the Glaives can warp just as well as you can," he murmurs in Noct's ear. "You can't just warp out of the way and think you'll be able to hang out and catch your breath."

"Right," Noctis says, and Gladio can read his nerves in his tone of voice.

"You're fast, and you're flexible. The magic is yours, it's not borrowed. If you want to swap weapons you can probably do it faster than they can. Don't forget to watch your back, and watch your left side -- they probably know you're a little weaker there."

"Got it." Noctis is clenching and unclenching his hands, like he's ready to pull his blade from the ether, but his eyes are still darting around the crowd. Gladio steps in front of him to block his view, forcing Noctis to look up at him.

"You got this," he says. "Even if you lose, you're gonna put up a good fight and show 'em what you can do."

Noctis takes a deep breath, holds it, then lets it out. "Thanks," he says, and Gladio claps him on the shoulder.

In the middle of the arena, Drautos raises his arm and the crowd falls quiet. "Ladies, Gentlemen . . . new recruits," he says expansively, "thank you all for coming. Today we'll see a demonstration of the power of the Crystal, and the power of the Kingsglaive. His Royal Highness Prince Noctis will battle one of our fiercest warriors." Noctis takes another breath, and Gladio can see his public mask settle into place. He walks out into the arena, smiling and waving.

"Now," Drautos says, "let us see who his opponent shall be."

An assistant brings out a bowl full of scraps of paper and holds it out to Noctis, who reaches in and selects one. Noctis looks at the paper for a moment, his face carefully blank, then announces, "Nyx Ulric." Shit.

The audience bursts into applause and Nyx takes the field, grinning. Drautos backs away to the sidelines, and Noctis summons his Engine Blade in a shower of sparks. Nyx makes the first move, throwing his short blade and warping straight for Noctis. Noctis phases through the attack, then swings hard, nearly connecting before Nyx warps away again.

To a layman, what follows is just a blur of blue sparks and phase shadows, clashing blades and flying kicks. To Gladio, it's Noctis putting in his best effort and having it be just enough to keep him on his feet, barely dodging each of Nyx's attacks. Their weapons clash together a few times, but the fight is mostly a series of fast warps as the two of them flicker from one end of the arena to the other.

Noctis throws his sword up so it rams into a high post, warping to hang from it briefly, then as Nyx starts to follow him, Noctis yanks the sword from the post, lets it dissolve back into the ether, and pulls out a javelin instead. He throws, warps, executes a mid-air backflip, and dives down toward Nyx with the javelin in his hand. For a moment, Gladio's breath catches as he thinks Noctis might just pull this off.

But then, Nyx throws up a crystalline shield, and Noct's attack is blocked entirely. Before his feet hit the ground, Nyx drops the shield and swings, his blade slicing into Noct's arm.

"First blood to Ulric!" Drautos calls. Both men drop their weapons and step back, breathing hard. Gladio's heart is in his throat, waiting to see how Noctis will take his loss. But Noctis ignores the blood running down his arm and turns to Nyx with a smile. Nyx executes a perfect bow, and when he rises, Noctis extends a hand to him, which Nyx clasps firmly.

"Lucis is honored by your skill," Noctis says, loud enough to carry to the crowd. "May all the new recruits grow as strong as you."

"The honor is mine, Your Highness," Nyx replies, appropriately deferential like he never is in training.

Drautos reminds everyone of the ceremony to be held the next day, and the crowd begins to file out as a page brings a potion to heal Noct's arm. By the time Gladio gets to his side, any sign of the injury is gone.

Noctis keeps his polite smile on until they're alone in the locker room, then sinks onto the bench with a groan. "Damn it," he says, slamming his fist into his thigh, "why did it have to be Nyx?"

"Hey, that aerial attack with the javelin was quick thinking," Gladio says, tossing Noctis a towel. "You did good."

"I got my ass handed to me," Noctis grouses.

"But you did it well. Iggy's gonna be proud of you for how you handled that."

"I'm supposed to swear in the new recruits tomorrow but all they're gonna be thinking is, 'Why should we swear our allegiance to this kid?' Ugh. Remind me why Dad can't do this again?"

Gladio sighs. "His Majesty is tied up with the ambassador from Accordo. You know that."

"Ugh," Noctis says again, slamming the door to the shower stall on his way in.

*

Noctis is still fuming when he flops into his bed after dinner. Ignis and Gladio have gone home, since Noctis is too tired and cranky to be good company despite Ignis's best efforts. Spending the night alone isn't unusual -- Gladio only stays over rarely, and Ignis often prefers an earlier bedtime and can't sleep with Noctis still awake. Some day, Noctis will get a place with enough bedrooms for all of them to be comfortable, but in the meantime this works well enough.

He rolls onto his back and flings an arm over his eyes. His mind keeps replaying the fight, searching for everywhere he could have done something differently. Of course now that it's over he can easily see a hundred opportunities he missed, but it's too late now.

His phone chimes and he groans and wrestles it out of the pocket of his jeans.

Hey buddy, the text from Prompto says, saw a clip of your fight w glaive, those moves were awesome!

Noctis's face does something between a smile and a grimace. Nyx kicked my ass, he types back.

[Prompto] u kidding bro he's like the biggest war hero and ur 18 of course he did [Prompto] u looked awesome tho, flipping around and stuff [Prompto] flexible ~.~

He laughs at that, imagining the way Prompto is probably wiggling his eyebrows, and types back, lol u make it sound way sexier than it was.

The return message comes right away: ur always sexy. Noctis can't help the little thrill that runs through him; Prompto has been dropping hints that he's interested for a while now, but he always backtracks before making anything clear, leaving Noctis to wonder whether he ever really meant it at all. Speaking of which . . .

[Prompto] I mean [Prompto] the whole royal authority thing, bet it really works for you w Iggy and Gladio

Noctis types out does it work for you? but then hesitates over the send button and ends up erasing it.

[Noctis] guess so [Noctis] sometimes I just want to be me

He sighs, thinking of the royal duties waiting for him in the morning.

[Noctis] gotta do the swearing in ceremony tomorrow bc dad is busy [Noctis] rather be playing kings knight w you

[Prompto] the night is young, and your phone is already in your hand

Noctis grins and opens the app.

*

The ceremony is held in the throne room, with the recruits lined up in formation and Noctis standing in front of the throne. He holds himself tall, and nobody would know that only minutes before Ignis was adjusting the drape of his cape and fixing his tie and cufflinks while Noctis frantically repeated his speech over and over.

"On behalf of my father, the king, I welcome you all to the Kingsglaive. Today you join the ranks of Lucis's most elite warriors, and begin your service to the people and the Crown." Noctis's voice is strong, and Ignis sees a hint of his father in the tilt of his chin. He hesitates for a barely detectable moment, then says, "Are you ready to pledge your loyalty?"

As one, the recruits fall to their knees and bow their heads, a hush falling over the room as Noctis descends the stairs. He approaches the first recruit and lays his hand on the back of her head. "I give myself in service to the Crown and the Crystal," she says, "and pledge to use the power granted to me to protect the people of Lucis."

"Do you give your life to the Crown?" Noctis asks. Normally, with Regis performing the ceremony, the line would be, do you give your life to me? but Noctis had felt it would be disingenuous, and Ignis finds he rather agrees.

"I do."

His hand slides around the side of her head and cups her chin, lifting her face. "Then rise, and join the ranks of the Kingsglaive." The recruit stands, and Ignis can see the shine in her eyes as she rises. Noctis smiles at her before moving on to the next recruit. The ceremony is repeated for the whole group, Noctis receiving one oath after another, until they're all standing.

As the audience bursts into applause, Noctis ascends the stairs again. When he reaches the throne, he materializes his sword and swings it high above his head, then spins it in a flashy circle and slams the point down into the floor in front of him, in the crack left there by this very same ceremony in the past. "The Crystal welcomes you, as do the people of Lucis," he says strongly, and the newly minted Glaives cross their fists over their chests and bow.

The applause is thunderous, and when it finally starts to die down, Noctis banishes his sword and makes his way down the stairs. Ignis meets him at the bottom as the recruits and the audience begin to file out of the chamber. "Well done, Your Highness," he says.

"You think so? My sword has nothing on Dad's armiger."

"You saw the look in the recruits' eyes. They were proud to be swearing their loyalty to you."

"To my dad," Noctis corrects.

"It may have been him in intent, but it was you in practice. I remember swearing my own oath of loyalty to you, you know."

Noctis laughs. "You mean when we were kids?"

"We may have been children, but I've always taken it seriously."

Looking at him with a small smile playing at his lips, Noctis says, "Me too."

"Well then," Ignis says, "I believe the banquet is ready to begin."

*

Prompto taps his phone, rewinding the clip to the beginning to play again. Bless IBC for always putting news clips online right away, because after watching the live feed of the glaive swearing-in ceremony Prompto immediately wanted to watch it again.

And again.

And again, and okay, maybe he's got one hand in his pants while he's watching it but Noct looks so good all dressed up. Even the ridiculous cape lends him an air of authority.

Are you ready to pledge your loyalty? Noct asks in the video, and Prompto's hand tightens on his cock. There was a time when he hesitated to jerk off to photos and videos of his friend, but these days he's accepted the fact that his feelings aren't going away any time soon and he can still be a good friend to Noct despite wanting to suck down his dick until he chokes.

Do you give your life to the Crown? Noct asks, and Prompto breathes, "I do," as he jerks himself faster. The clip is almost to the end, and he bites his lip as Noct ascends the stairs, then gasps, "fuck, fuck, fuck," when Noct materializes a sword and swings it around his head. He comes as the sword slams into the ground, the camera catching the steely glint in Noct's blue eyes, the hard set of his mouth, the perfect fall of hair over his forehead. He looks like a king, and Prompto would gladly lay down his life for him.

As the clip finishes, he pushes weakly at his pants, shoving them down to keep them out of the mess. He doesn't feel guilty for jerking off to Noct, but sometimes he feels guilty for how much he likes it when Noct acts like the royalty he is, because he's still got the texts on his phone saying sometimes I just want to be me.

[tontontonberry]

So our goblin-loving asses started a new D&D campaign. This time Vel is the DM! Very exciting! Our lovely cast includes:

Nemeia, tiefling bard, so smol u think she’s 12, big on adopted families, can Vicious Mockery your ass into next week. Palilai, half-elf monk, string bean, full of book learnings, zero practical experience, wants to Know Things, super polite! Miri, elf druid, so fucking done, herbalism kit full of weed, cranky mom friend.

They meet on the road. Nemeia and Palilai immediately decide to travel together, inviting Miri along as well. Miri: these smol cinnamon rolls are going to die someone needs to keep an eye on them, guess it’ll be me.

They get to a walled town on a river called Nightstone. Place is empty as fuck, giant rocks everywhere, church bell ringing like crazy?

They investigate! Goblins are ringing the church bell for funsies. The gals act unthreatening and the goblins share that they got no idea what happened. The town was empty when they got there, so

They take care of some horses, not noticing the goblin frantically hiding in the hayloft until riiiight before they go to sleep for the night. He is Frighten. Nemeia and Palilai try to be reassuring, but he ends up booking it.

They follow him into the inn, only to find a different goblin bleeding out on the floor from a crossbow wound. Nemeia heals her! Her name is Sark and the other goblins hiding in the inn carry her off.

The lady who shot Sark , name of Kella, is hanging out in a room with a rock-hole punched through it and she’s got no idea what happened with the town either. She deigns to stay where she is.

The gals find a villager! She’s nearly dead under rubble, but through the power of emergency first aid and healing magic she is stabilized! Still unconscious, tho.

Some mercenaries Kella was waiting for as an escort arrive. Soon after, some orcs come rushing up! There is a Battle. Palilai almost dies, only to be revived and then kick an orc in the face so that he died. Baby’s First Murder. She has a bit of a breakdown.

The orcs managed to kill one of the mercenaries, and almost kill three others. When the gals find healing potions on the orcs, they promptly give them to the near-dead mercenaries. Their generosity is met with confusion.

After a short rest, Palilai, Nemeia, and a mercenary going by her last name Varcona go out to find some food. Palilai and Nemeia make soup! Varcona is taken aback by how willing they are to make nice things for the rest of them even though they’ve barely met. They search the trading post as well, seeing that the goblins had already gone through it, but! There are two healer’s kits set out with a bloody crossbow bolt laid across them. Sark and company apparently left a thank you! Nemeia is delighted. Varcona is baffled.

Meanwhile, Miri abhors social interaction.

Each of the three gals is paired with a mercenary for watch that night. There is general chatter about where they’re from and where they’re going. None of them really has a set destination in mind. Nemeia is paired with Varcona and ends up gushing about her precocious little brother who she is Very Proud Of. She found him herself! Adopting everyone ever is how her family do. She also shares her family’s determination to be kind in an unkind world.

Morning comes, and the mercenaries made porridge for breakfast! The gals go off to do dishes, which goes surprisingly fast thanks to Nemeia’s Prestidigitation. They come back and are given their bowls, only for Varcona to trip on her own feet and wipe out spectacularly. The bowls are broken and Nemeia gets landed on. Whoops!

After breakfast, they head out to check for any more survivors or supplies, and to try to reach the keep. They find a winged cat! After much coaxing and offering of tasty tidbits, it takes up residence on Nemeia’s shoulder, hidden by her hair.

Periodically, Vel asked us to roll Perception checks. The results were…not great. We noticed nothing.

As we reached the bridge to the keep and started debating how to get across the broken part, Shit Got Real.

Varcona grabbed Kella and held a knife to her throat, demanding that the three gals be allowed to leave immediately! Said gals are Confused and Concerned. Miri demands answers. Varcona says that they’d tried to poison them that morning with the porridge! The mercenary leader, Xolkin, tries to talk Varcona down, telling her to not throw everything away for nothing, to think about what she’s doing! He even calls her by her first name, Keth.

Nemeia, deciding that she trusts Keth over the other mercenaries, pulls out her rapier and casts Dissonant Whispers on Xolkin, though he succeeds on his saving throw and doesn’t feel the need to run. Miri storms up to Xolkin and gives him five seconds to explain what’s going on. Two mercenaries try to shoot Palilai, only for her to catch the bolts in her hands and break them. Two others take swipes at Miri, one of them managing to hit her. Nemeia is underestimated and not aimed at.

Perception checks continue to be called for. We continue to notice nothing.

Kella rolls a natural 20 on an attempt to stab herself free of Keth. Nemeia’s Cutting Words keeps the damage from being too dire, but Kella is no longer a meat shield and Keth is bleeding freely. Xolkin goes to strike Miri when suddenly -

ZWING

- a crossbow bolt strikes him in the wrist! From hiding, fourteen goblins appear! Prominently placed is Sark, crossbow held in front of her.

“I missed.” She says, and fires again. Kella gets hit in the shoulder. Revenge!

The goblins declare this town is theirs and the mercenaries should gtfo before they get pincushioned. There is a tense moment as Xolkin weighs the odds, and then they make a break for it, leaving behind their horses and most of their gear.

Sark and company are, quite deservedly, pleased with themselves. Turns out they never actually left town. They snuck around, rolling well on stealth as we rolled poorly on perception, eavesdropping on the mercenaries and their plans, and when the time came they came onto the scene like Big Damn Heroes.

Nemeia rushes to Keth’s side and heals her. Miri still wants to know What The Fuck is Happening. Also Nice One, Goblins. Goblins preen at her praise.

Keth, somewhat in shock and being aggressively cuddled by Nemeia, explains that the mercenary group was actually members of the Zhentarim. Nemeia has never fucking heard of them. Palilai knows that their public face is of an elite mercenary company. Keth explains that they are Shady As Fuck. They do the Murder and Stealing Thing. And in order to be able to spin whatever story they wanted about what happened in the town, the three gals had to be gotten rid of. Also they stan the goblins (the usual ideal scapegoat) and that was inconvenient.

Keth, now having nowhere to go, is Shaken. Nemeia promptly insists that she stay with them. And later she can introduce her to her family! Palilai is also very earnestly welcoming. Miri is welcoming in a standoffish way. Keth is Moved. Miri wants to know why she decided to side with them over the Zhentarim. It can’t just be because they were nice. Keth says there was a reason, but she doesn’t feel up to explaining it right at that moment. Miri finds this acceptable.

Now that they have added Keth to their party, they decide to investigate the keep. The goblins help them cobble together a ramp over the broken bridge, and that’s where we had to call it a night!

 Vel offered us some juicy insights as we were packing up.

The goblins literally never left. They hung out on the side of town we weren’t on and Sark and co informed the others about the cinnamon rolls and their standoffish chaperone. And they also eavesdropped on the Zhentarim guys’ plans for offing the three gals. They rolled Really Well on stealth and even as the difficulty class for noticing them kept dropping, we just kept rolling shittier on perception. WE WERE IN A REALLY INTENSE AND DISTRACTING SITUATION, OKAY.

If Xolkin had been able to talk Keth down from holding Kella at knifepoint, he would have told her that it’s okay, she’s still part of their group. She just needs to off those three right now to prove they can trust her. Oh, and they can undo the bandages on the unconscious villager and let her bleed out. : )

Every time the Zhentarim (other than Keth) struck up conversation with a gal about her family or what weapons she liked or where she was going? Gathering intel to make fighting them easier and also making sure that no one would notice them going missing. : )

Keth didn’t hear about the poisoning plan until after she’d been on watch with Nemeia and she was like what the FUCK.

Keth deciding to help them instead of letting them get killed was, yes, in part because Nemeia and Palilai were so nice to her. But it was also because they were nice even when it wasn’t easy. It was because of Nemeia having a whole family of people who chose to be kind and hadn’t been killed off young. She wanted to believe that kindness could exist in this world without being snuffed out. KETH MAKES ME EMOTIONAL. PROTECT HER.

The Zhentarim attacked Palilai and Miri first because Miri struck them as dangerous and they’d seen Palilai kill a man. Also the only person to hear Nemeia describe Vicious Mockery as “I can boil someone’s blood by insulting them :D” was Keth. Nemeia is perpetually underestimated because she is so smol and floof.

 Nemeia has fucking adopted Keth I don’t make the rules.

Nemeia: She has had a hard life! She had to be so brave to help us! She needs gentleness! She needs to be protected! (ง •̀_•́)ง