#like i love dmbj and i do suspect maybe i get xiaoge... but also i still feel i OUGHT to read ALL novels before i feel confident i truly kno

[mejomonster]

i think in my indulgent Demon immortal Fei Du au, I’m going to make him part fox spirit on his mom’s side. Just because priest made SO many references in Silent Reading to fox spirits being with humans, and to Tales from a Chinese Studio stories. It wouldn’t be right if my boy Fei Du wasn’t actually a sneaky fox too ToT

[hils79]

Monday Fic Recs

Note: I’m working my way through the DMBJ rarepair exchange fics. Author names will be added after the reveal. 

Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan/Ye Zun (Guardian)

Extremely attractive and highly suspicious by velithya

Shen Wei is, to Zhao Yunlan's deep and abiding regret, a very suspicious person and Zhao Yunlan's personal pick for the identity of famed assassin Heipaoshi – and after The Hotel Incident last year Zhao Yunlan has a new personal rule that he doesn't sleep with suspects, no matter how attractive they are.

This is a really fun and interesting AU.

Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan (Guardian)

Every Bear That Ever There Was by achray

"I can vouch in my professional capacity that Hei Pao Shi can also actively communicate with bears," Zhao Yunlan said.

This is so adorable and funny

Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling (The Lost Tomb)

Under the Fur by merinnan & xantissa

As much as Wu Xie disliked the fact, Pangzi was right, they were used to Xiaoge just up and disappearing on them like this.

What they weren't used to was coming across a snow leopard in the middle of a tomb.

I loved this. Such a fun idea. Love Wu Xie and his cluelessness.

When Is a Curse Not a Curse? When It Becomes a Gift. by eirenical

It started, for once, with Wu Xie being just a hair faster to react than anyone else.Wu Xie had seen Xiaoge across the room, eyes wide, breath catching, pulling his fingers from the delicate door mechanism they'd been exploring, gathering himself to run, to intercede, to take on the consequences of Wu Xie's actions, like he always did… Maybe it was the lingering effects of the golden water. Maybe it was pure dumb luck. Whatever it was, Wu Xie beat Xiaoge to it, blocking everyone else from the puff of some ancient dust trap which then hit him full in the face.Dimly, somewhere beyond his struggling lungs, Wu Xie could hear people calling his name, voices raised in desperation and fear.

Wu Xie has often wondered what goes on in the mind of their Menyouping. Thanks to an accident in a tomb, he's about to find out... and get a lot more than he bargained for.

I really love psychic bond fics, and this was such a lovely spin on the idea. The characters felt so real, and the emotions were so raw it genuinely made me tear up. 

Liu Sang/Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling (The Lost Tomb)

Fur and Loathing by merinnan & xanstissa

When Liu Sang heard about a long cleared-out and picked over tomb that had some interesting architecture, he thought it would be a perfect opportunity to get to know Wu Xie better by taking him to the nice, safe tomb where nothing could go wrong.

Of course he should have known that if there was any lingering trap or curse that the multiple groups of previous tomb raiders had missed, then Wu Xie would be the one to find it. Now he has to deal with Wu Xie the hyperactive ferret while he tries to figure out how to fix all of this - preferably before the rest of the Iron Triangle finds out about it.

If you think Wu Xie is a menace when he’s human wait until you see what he’s like as a ferret. This was hilarious. 

Kan Jian/Luo Que (The Lost Tomb)

the foolproof five-step method for catching sparrows by anonymous 

“What’s in it for me?” asked Luo Que. Kan Jian blinked guileless eyes at him. He was probably not intending to bat his eyelashes, but that’s what it looked like anyway. “What do you mean, what’s in it for you? Noodles! The reward for getting noodles is… the noodles themselves.” Luo Que hadn’t actually meant that as a real question, more as a stalling tactic. Kan Jian plowed on, undeterred. “And,” he said triumphantly, like someone bestowing a prize or unveiling a secret, “you get to hang out with me.”

Luo Que valiantly tries to keep his cool, Zhang Rishan schemes against him, and Kan Jian finally, finally gets his man.

I am so delighted there’s more fics with this pairing. They were great in Sha Hai and this fic is wonderful. 

Wang Pangzi/Zhang Qiling (The Lost Tomb)

whatever you're meant for by anonymous

Some things are a struggle, and others are easy. Zhang Qiling suspects he has the category for many of them the wrong way around.

I loved this so much! Xiaoge POV fics are always great to read because he doesn’t talk much. This warmed my heart and I want to wrap myself in it like a blanket.

Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling/Wang Can/Liu Sang (The Lost Tomb)

A Tiger is a Tiger not a Lamb by anonymous

Welcome to Club Moonlight!

There's a new band playing for the next few nights, talented but a little rough around the edges. Grab a table and order a bottle of champagne-- I'm sure you'll enjoy the show!

I’ve been enjoying all the Club Moonlight headcanons on Tumblr and now there is fic! I loved this. It was hot. 

[merinnan]

DMBJ Explore with the Note Ep 2

Okay, I wasn't sure if I'd get to ep 2 today, but I need Iron Triangle shenanigans to cheer me up after the feels fest that was Train to Busan

So here we go! DMBJ S2 Ep 2!

The counts at the start of ep 2! 

Season 2 Xiaoge Rescue Count: 1 for Wu Xie, 1 for protagonists, 2 for everyone 

Season 2 Wu Xie Swoon Count: 0 

Cumulative Xiaoge Rescue Count: 11 for Wu Xie, 16 for protagonists, 18 for everyone 

Cumulative Wu Xie Swoon Count: 6

- Opening with Wu Xie wandering around somewhere, so I'm guessing this is another dream/nightmare 

- 'Somewhere' turns out to be a sunken ship 

- Minus all the water 

- I'm expecting a jump scare any moment now

- Not as bad a one as I expected, but still 

- a wild Sanshu suddenly appears! 

- This dream Sanshu being just as creepy as the dream Sanshu in the previous ep 

- And just as murderous 

- And now he wakes up thanks to Pangzi, and it's daytime now 

- Looks like the storm is over, too

- OMG Pangzi that is not how you're supposed to meditate 

- lol @ Wu Xie's confused reaction to it 

- Hahah, A-Ning was not successful in hiding the booze from Pangzi 

- Wu Xie, baby, I love your confidence here about there being no complicated traps, but it's entirely misplaced

- He definitely has to suspect that that's Xiaoge after the whole ghost ship thing, he wouldn't be giving that cute little smile otherwise

- Oh god, the English dubbing is so bad. The words and lips don't sync at all 

- And it looks like her boss is a foreigner this time? 

- This water is so murky 

- This swimming around underwater making exaggerated gestures bit could have been much shorter than it is 

- Like seriously

- It wouldn't be quite as bad if the water wasn't just this constant murky green so that you could actually see properly 

- But as it is I'm mostly just looking at this dirty green screen with some shapes moving past sometimes

- I get padding out an episode, but it's been almost five minutes of this now 

- Oh, at least now we're at least getting little flashes of Wu Xie recognising this stuff from his grandfather's notebook 

- But still 

- HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET TO THE TOMB

- 5 1/2 mins before something even marginally interesting happens >.< 

- Because apparently now the statue is opening its eyes. Maybe. 

- Wait no, I counted wrong 

- 7 1/2 MINS 

- 8 1/2 mins before they get to any breaking and entering 

- 8 1/2 mins to do what should have taken 2

- It wasn't even marginally interesting filler >.< 

- Just....dirty green screen with some dark shapes, and the occasional close up on faces or wrist notepads 

- And this knife is cutting through the mortar holding these bricks together suspiciously easily

- Oh, the evil hair is making its first appearance 

- Evil Hair Count: 1 

- Yes, touching it is a great idea! Well done! 

- Oh, it scared it away this time 

- Apparently, the evil hair being scared away is what triggers the brick door to automatically open for them

- Oh, I like this shot of the wetsuit hood almost looking like a hoodie hood. I'm not sure if that was intentional, but I still like it.

- SUDDEN CORPSE APPEARANCE 

- Oh, sudden thing swimming real fast into/around them 

- Most of this episode has just been...murky green

- Like. They've been in the water for 10 minutes so far. And the only important/interesting things that have happened have been finding Sanshu's stick, finding the statues that reminded Wu Xie of shit in the notebook, Wu Xie thinking the statue eyes opened, the appearance of the evil hair, the door opening, the corpse appearing, and now this thing swimming by them. All of which could have been done in, like, a third of the time.

- Since they all took only a few seconds each

- Oh, it was evil hair lady, who is now swimming away super fast when Pangzi shot at her. 

- I'm amazed he could see clearly enough in the murk to even aim, tbh 

- Oooh, dramatic music 

- It would be nice if I could see clearly enough to know the reason for the dramatic music

- PANGZI. WU XIE. YOU HAVE NOTEPADS ON YOUR WRISTS. 

- YOU DO NOT NEED TO TAKE OUT YOUR OXYGEN MOUTHPIECES TO TRY TO TALK UNDERWATER 

- YOU ARE WASTING YOUR OXYGEN 

- OH HI EVIL HAIR LADY 

- I will make that Evil Hair Count: 2, because it was a lovely shot of her hair as well

- Oh, they've made that maelstrom-like tunnel the entrance to the tomb in the drama 

- Oh god, the greenscreen 

- I think Chongqi is the only one I've seen so far that does greenscreen even halfway well 

- It took them 11 1/2 mins to get into the tomb

- An entire quarter of the episode was just them fucking around underwater where the viewer could barely see what was happening at the best of times 

- Since the ep is 45 mins including opening and ending credits

- Oh, they've come out into the room with the pots, except it has a pool in it this time 

- Sigh. Of course they gave A-Ning pink-accented gear.

- They all have a different colour on their goggles to tell them apart, but in the underwater stuff it was too dark to tell what colours she and Xiaoge had. Now that they're out of the water, I can see that hers is pink. 

- And I'm like 

- WHY 

- PLEASE 

- STOP

- Why are there spiderwebs in the underwater tomb? 

- The babby zombie footprints! 

- Yes, Pangzi, those tiny little footprints are Sanshu's 

- Hahah, I love little shit Wu Xie 

- Apparently spiders even have to be built into underwater ones. Either that, or spiders can now dive

- Maybe when they built the tomb, they made sure to have spiders in there. Which also means they had to ensure there was spider food in there. 

- Oh, hey, in the drama they actually think to look inside the jar! But babby zombie is not in there this time.

- Oh, it was in one of the other jars instead 

- Okay, time to follow the baby in the jar 

- Oh, this hallway 

- A-Ning is about to be a very bad girl 

- Also, so many cobwebs 

- So many

- I think that lends credence to the 'spiders were put here when the tomb was built and so have lived here for thousands of spider generations' 

- WHY ARE ALL THE CANDLES LIT 

- WHO LIT THEM SO RECENTLY THAT THEY'RE STILL BURNING

- I still can't get over them subbing 'Sanshu' as 'Uncle San' 

- And random English because why not

- I was about to say the traps are stupidly obvious in this hall, then I remembered the Starfinder adventure I ran where the trigger was a giant mosaic on the floor that practically screamed 'trap' & the PCs just walked over it. And then were surprised when the trap triggered.

- Oh, here we go, A-Ning's about to do the thing 

- Complete with evil villain smirk as she does so 

- I wish there was better lighting in this hallway, because A-Ning's moves are amazing and I would like to be able to see them better

- Xiaoge Rescue Count: 2 for Wu Xie, 2 for protagonists, 3 for everyone

- Those are some wuxia-esque spinny moves from A-Ning there 

- Nooooo, Xiaoge, don't leave Wu Xie there without you! 

- I wondered how they were going to have Wu Xie get hit by them since Xiaoge stopped him from being hit by the initial shots 

- Dammit, A-Ning

- I appreciate that Pangzi's first reaction is to run to check on Wu Xie 

- Even though that got him shot himself 

- lol, these two dummies sitting there screaming once they notice all the arrows that they hadn't noticed before

- Good Pangzi, showing off that you're actually smart by realising Something Is Up with these arrows 

- "Does it feel this good to be shot to death?" 

"I've never died before, I have no idea" 

 - Hahahah, waving the arrow to see it that would attract more firing

- Then oh so carefully peeking up over the edge 

- Ah, finally Xiaoge reveals himself properly! 

- That face mask is just ridiculous 

- lol, Wu Xie's reaction 

- Those wide puppy eyes 

- lol, Xiaoge's little smirk at Wu Xie

- And again. THEY'RE SO CUTE I CAN'T

- Here we are at the first chamber switcheroo 

- I wish they'd subtitle at least the important parts of Wenjin's notebook when Wu Xie reads it and gets clues 

- They were good with subtitling the wrist notepads when they were aimlessly swimming around for 11 mins 

- But nothing else

- "Do you have Alzheimers" OMFG, Pangzi 

- Pangzi gonna Pangzi 

- I seem to say something along those lines about all of the Iron Triangle 

- But it's true 

- Ahahah, Wu Xie's facial expressions when he's brushing off Pangzi here 

- It's little shit Wu Xie all over

- Look, okay, flashbacks are fine and all, but does it have to be a flashback to the FUCKING GREEN MURKY WATER 

- Okay, at least that part wasn't too long 

- That container is not sealed, that paper should not have been dry

- Certainly not so dry that exposure to air made it crumble and blow away

 - Professor Zhang? 

- HOW WERE THE IMPRINT OF WORDS LEFT BEHIND IN THE DUST?! 

- IDK why they needed two archaeological teams in this flashback 

- Also, hi, flashback Xiaoge 

- Hey, it's the copper snek fishy

- Oh, that was a good cliffhanger to leave this episode on! 

- Xiaoge remembering that he has been there before

So! Ep 2 ends with: 

Season 2 Xiaoge Rescue Count: 2 for Wu Xie, 2 for protagonists, 3 for everyone 

Season 2 Wu Xie Swoon Count: 0 

Season 2 Evil Hair Count: 2 

 Cumulative Xiaoge Rescue Count: 12 for Wu Xie, 17 for protagonists, 18 for everyone 

Cumulative Wu Xie Swoon Count: 6