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wellntruly · 2 years ago

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M*A*S*H - Season 7, misc. notes

New approach on this assembly: no just repeating something I like (that way forever lies), observational/contemplative remarks Only.

And you know what, I mostly stick to this!

— — —

Even besides updating his opening credits appearance immediately (I was mid-martini sip, I was not ready), that we then started with a scene of Potter talking about the mustache, erotically, (yes), before we’d even seen it live yet, is really giving 'cultural moment'

I’ve just checked and my suspicion was correct: ‘Commander Pierce’ was not originally intended to be the seventh season premiere; that would be what ended up airing second, ‘Peace On Us’, which feels more like a first episode in every way, down to the cast reestablishing roll call at the end. But for someone who has two thumbs and is wild for chain-of-command drama, me, starting with this one had me like, Hello & welcome!! By the time we hit the mid-episode act-out and Captain Pierce, pressed, is having his snippy interpersonal orders in surgery mockingly “Whooa-oh-oh!”ed by his two best friends & best enemy all in synchrony against him, I was positively kicking my heels.

I also think it’s worth noting the dramatic irony that Hawkeye’s greatest strength as a manager, as seen first in ‘Officer of the Day’ back in the third season, has always been his atypical decision-making skills, which always prioritize life and are also almost always outside the box in doing so. Acting Commander A Secret, Third Thing. Which is why I think if BJ had actually followed the procedure to bring this to him first, rushed up saying that there’s someone out there who is dying and he can save him, it would have been highly likely Hawkeye would have come up with a way to do both, possibly even still sending BJ out, but with admonitions to hurry, more wounded are coming who will you need you, too. But BJ is so hung up on Hawkeye being the leader that he’s forgotten they’re still a team, that Hawk’s weird creative mind can help him, and Hawkeye is so resentful of being the leader that he too has forgotten they’re still a team, that BJ’s steadfast sense of what’s right can help him. Neither of them are listening to each other, and it’s hobbling some of their strongest assets.

Also, as the leader, whether anyone wants that or not, Hawkeye is supposed to be the one to break procedure, if breaking is what is needed. That’s what being a manager truly is. To take the responsibility, to say, it’ll be on my head—go. And Hawkeye hasn’t learned that. Potter has learned that. Potter knows that well, because he IS a good manager, which he comes back proving immediately. Thank god for you, Sherman <3

I’m not imagining it, they’ve added some sort of WHISTLE to the opening theme, like some PICCOLO or something. I’m gonna kill ‘em.

The discovery that Alan Alda, Irish-Italian Catholic, is also Jewish-in-law by his wife, truly explains so much. The Yiddish, for one.

Y’know I guess I probably do understand why ‘Peace On Us’ did not ultimately hang on to its opening spot with the network, despite also, I am just realizing, supplying the Origin Story for the Mustache--as it does end with a sequence that truly made me feel like I was having an out-of-body experience. When BJ ambles out of the tent…well I really thought I’d lost my mind.

First edible looking foodstuff on this show goes to: this muffin Hawkeye is eating standing in the sunshine talking about how he’s stalking his best friend. I would actually bet $5, 1950s money, that this muffin just came from craft services.

Reprising the black & white period interview conceit but making it a clip show, and two of them, is a remarkable miscalculation, and I hated watching both of these, even with an And They Were All So Cold package (even with!!), but admittedly I did clasp my hand to my mouth at the reveal that they’d be including Trapper and Henry. Also, BJ, in the new stuff, says, “When you share the horror that we do, day in and day out, you don’t just feel close, you cling to each other,” and I would like to say, Beej oh my god.

Oh, well this is interesting. Disassociation always is! My college bestie the psychologist, benevolently: “Ahh, cinema’s favorite disorder presentation. Looks so good, happens so rarely.” It sure does look good! And I mean, any reason’s a good reason to see Sidney.

God NEVAR FORGET Abercrombie & Fitch used to be like, outdoors outfitters. And are old. They set up Teddy Roosevelt before he went tromping west with John Muir.

My order to myself to not just quote lines in the notes is being severely tested by ‘None Like It Hot’, which is breaking me every scene. Okay okay just one from Charles: “Your middle class sense of decency and fair play will overwHelm the malice you now bear me, and soon I shall be luxuriating in that canvas Xanadu.” I mean where to BEGIN.

I would like to know how Loretta Swit just keeps getting more beautiful. What kind of Gillian Anderson genes…

BJ’s vermilion suspenders, Hawkeye in a check flannel…so they’ve just fully started dressing like gay lumberjacks, huh. Maybe this is the point of the mustache. I'm sorry I'm so sorry! I am on record as being SO pro mustache boyfriends, I’m just not pro this particular mustache. :/ I just think it kinda makes Mike Farrell look like that pumpkin. You know the one.

Okay dialogue again but it’s because I have a sincere question: Hawkeye: “I’ll be there with bells on. You’ll love me in bells.” Nurse Bigelow: “Shall we say about 8?” Hawkeye: “7:30, I like a half hour to warm up.” Bigelow, leaving with a grin: “Gotta run!” Hawkeye, turning back to BJ: “I envy her tonight.” [this video voice] Whaat does That meean?!

The way I feel about BJ’s kimono and I don’t know why it’s just his and not Margaret’s is that it’s the first glimmer of the ‘80s advancing, and I do not appreciate it.

I really like that Charles is actually strictly honest, even to his own detriment. The trick is that you have to go through a tremendous amount of effort to prove to him that his wrong stances are wrong, as his default position is that of course he is right, but once he sees the evidence plainly, then he flips and will not stand for anyone shirking that truth, least of all himself. This is a cool character trait, and they’ve been pretty consistent about it.

I am entranced by the freezing ground constricting the mines and setting them off in the field in the night. AT MO SPHERE.

Radar baby tell us your weird idea.

A warm soaking tub out of a coffin!!! BABY I LOVE YOU & YOUR WEIRD IDEA.

Lordd, imagine being this soldier. You’ve just literally landed at the remote hospital station, weakly bleeding, and it's just like

Not sure if this utterly adorable BJ-Klinger-Radar welcome, charming and efficient as it may be, would have me feeling any more certain that I’m living, but definitely certain this is one of the best places I could die in, with these benevolent fruitcakes.

Ah, lovely, as I’d want: Hawkeye is reassuring precisely because he’s so odd. He’s wearing a crimson bathrobe, he’s asked someone for a unit of whole blood, neat, for him, he's telling your smiling blonde fellow to "Step into my office"—a patch of floor two yards away to confer. This benevolent fruitcake is weird in a different way, and suddenly I'm starting to feel like maybe I am gonna live.

Oh I completely believe Colonel Potter makes it a point to meet everyone who comes through his hospital, headcanon accepted, Ken Levine & David Isaacs.

[Ringing a dinner bell] SNAFU, first recorded instance of “SNAFU” in M*A*S*H! World War II slang acronyms, finally fucking present and accounted for!

Hawkeye very clambering astride things this season. Things he has slung his leg fully over in Season 7: - Jeep door slash steering wheel - Charles’s thigh - multiple patients’ waists to perform CPR - the barrel of a Howitzer

I cannot explain why it should be this way given that’s also where it is on those little caps, but Charles wearing his major leaf pinned right in the center of his turned up parka hood dissolved both me and my mom, visiting, into helpless giggling.

OMG THEY’RE ALL GETTING LIGHTHEADED FROM USING ALL THIS ETHER. sickos.png ha ha yeess….

Probably one of the best things this show has ever decided to make a continuing thing, as of ‘Out of Gas’, is that Father Mulcahy is on the black market. Knows how to use it, gets desperately needed supplies for themselves and the orphanage this way. Definitely his black market nickname is like, Pops.

Everything Margaret merrily does to hungover Hawkeye at breakfast, and his reaction to it, is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen. Sorry this is so borderline me just saying I like it, but I like it SO much.

Father Mulcahy at the Officer’s Club deliberately playing the barkeep you tell all your problems to because he misses confession, is suuuuuch a good idea, Alda.

When I say Potter is one of Hawkeye’s two dads I mean him lowly muttering “Leave it…” to Pierce’s cheerily foreboding energy around generals.

‘Inga’ absolutely incredible for watching Alan Alda attempt to distract us with an overt showing of his getting dragged in public kink from remembering that we’ve been seeing him air Hawkeye’s sexual submission kink this entire dang series. Dollface I don’t believe for one second that Hawkeye “Don't just stand there, I’m yours,” Hawkeye “Someone’s gonna have to get me pregnant,” Hawkeye “Would you [kick me]? With high heels?” Pierce would not go giddy at the knees if a woman pushed *him* back on the bed, had *her* way with him. Hawkeye DOES measure women by a three-letter yardstick and you’ve nailed that squarely & beautiful (and gave the whole blazing speech to Margaret <3), but Hawkeye getting uncomfortable if someone else is the top? Oh honey we all know that’s not Hawkeye's problem!

Anyway, once again though, my god Alan Alda loves Loretta Swit & Margaret Houlihan SO much. Even just their button on the end of this, like all their little closing scenes he writes for them, is all for her and just perfect, killer. Sweet, her teasingly, sparklingly dragging him off to the showing of Casablanca, buying him popcorn..!

Potter: “Tell your nurses not to be shy about hauling a litter if they have to. Some of them are stronger than I am.” Hawkeye: “Can I have their names?” I mean, [laughter], this is exactly what I was just saying. We’re all seeing this!

Her arm tight around slumped BJ making sure he doesn’t fall off his stool, Hawkeye already collapsed flat on the bar at her other elbow, taking another shot above both their heads—as Hawk said, long live the queen.

Margaret smooching snoozing Potter’s ear in thanks in the most platonic weird little way, wow yes

Whenever they bring in the stooges at I-Corps refusing to believe they’re being bombed it’s just so Heller. To be clear I adore this.

The thing about these Army helmets is they tend to make everyone look incredibly boyish, gender neutral, and it pangs my heart a little

Ha ha ha, I’m so into this. So into it. Hawkeye is, for narrative purposes, one of the frailer cast members, because things happening to him can be the plots of episodes. But I guess that’s it, usually things are happening TO him. His claustrophobia is striking as it’s this surprise vulnerability that didn’t come from the war, and so it takes us beyond it.

Hey: what on Earth is this card game?

Handheld camera? Harry?? Let’s do it why not!

I really like the implication that you say “commie” five times and Colonel Flagg just vappears in your bathroom mirror

Ohhh one of those those

….Oh my god. That Flagg doesn’t work on Charles…I am closing my eyes in a delighted grin. His particular brand of superiority makes him like Teflon to this! Aah! “One, you cannot afford my price, and two, what are you talking about?” I’m elated.

Meanwhile, maybe this is the episode where we try to figure out:

What's Going On With BJ Hunnicutt?

He’s been changing, this season and if I look back Season 6 as well. Markedly more chaos and a kind of lightly irascible antagonism shot through his once notable calm. If I’m applying apologetics, I’d say he’s fallen too into a habit of trying to pull other people’s malcontented energy to himself, as he told Nurse Donovan about doing with his wife in Season 5—too often metaphorically bumping into people, trying to be the thing they're mad at, something more manageable than an entire war. But it’s not working so well as a consistent practice. What I miss, what I think is missed, is that steady, quiet care that characterized BJ in his first couple season. That was something new for this show, a really interesting balancing energy, with another fascinating new effect of kind of melting Hawkeye a bit. And this practice isn’t working so well for BJ either as of late, as we see in him hotly springing on this patient threatening Hawkeye, threatening him with violence of his own. From the very start, he has cared about Hawkeye tremendously (god remember him about gnawing his thumb off when he goes missing last season), but more and more lately it’s coming out all jumpy and rough. Captain Hunnicutt, honey, it’s okay to be quiet and safe again. You won’t be overlooked. There are means of influence other than fireworks.

That’s the first explanation. The other is that earlier days BJ won’t come back from the war, because this is what the war has done to him. The serenity Sidney envied irrevocably rumpled by this cavalcade of senseless wounded.

Well, I’ll be thinking about it! Feeling feelings!

Meanwhile, the impeccable character development of Major Margaret Houlihan, outstanding in its field. One element that’s really illuminating itself right now: she’s still immediately smitten with a handsome officer, that’s still Margaret all over, but these days she turns them right off her plate as soon as they reveal themselves to be bad news. She used to not notice. Our Margaret now, oh she notices.

Hooooo the amount of dark rooms ‘Preventative Medicine’ is just flinging doors open! Hoo boy!!

Ohhhh Very important question actually: didn’t Hawkeye and Trapper remove Colonel Flagg’s appendix together that one time just to waylay him from doing something stupid and cruel? Oh wow if that’s part of this………O wow.

Goddd that gesture, reaching up to grasp his forearm where his hand rests on his shoulder…BJ’s arm like an anchor line. Ahh now this bit is recalling that tireless kindness of BJ, what I wanted, oh less temper and more of this please. Jesus and with this dark undertow still too—are you dragging him back, or is he dragging you down. [shiver] Yes yes yes…

Hey I just replayed these last two scenes in my head with the quiet, watchful BJ of ‘The Late Captain Pierce’, gentle and urgent and scared and not leaving, all the same dialogue and Hawkeye’s performance basically the same tenor just visibly pulling more against the tethers this BJ tosses out, and it was HAUNT-ING.

Line readings award for the one at Rosie’s bar: David Ogden Stiers no question

Mike Farrell, Director, immediately being like hey, wanna literally climb the furniture? And Alan Alda’s like, :) you know I do

He’s LITERALLY being BJ’s little gargoyle, just like, scampering, clambering, up on the doorjambs. This is tremendous stuff, Mike.

Hey Mike sorry but I have more blocking I enjoy: the amount of time we're spending watching Hawkeye floss his teeth on camera. How does Alda looks so cute doing this, is my question, and is that why

This banner reading “Father Mulcahy presents: Bingo Night” has added a year to my life

Really fascinating actually seeing them move camps, different trees around, re-setting up the Swamp. I'm THROWN but not necessarily in a bad way? Yet? Would this possibly last??

Nope never mind, we’re bugging right back! WELL I did expect you wouldn’t want to lose that set haha

YELL Hawkeye’s dad addresses him in his letter “Dear Ben.” HE WAS THE ONE WHO DUBBED YOU HAWKEYE.

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Season Viewguides

These

#M*A*S*H #M*A*S*H hours #Misc. MASH #Tarra takes notes

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self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2 · 1 year ago

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Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 08x01 We Need to Talk about Kevin

“Do we really need to talk about Kevin?

🎶secret Kevin man🎶

“Asian Kevin” “that’s some x-files shit right there” “He has a girl in his tent. What’s up with that?” “what the fuck” “blood splatter everywhere still has good hair” “Does this go on the bullet list of how to be a good man? Always have good hair?” “and be well moisturized” “what the fuck is happening?” “what.the.fuck is going on here” “Yeah because that’ll heal easy” “Why is he dumping the blood all over the pelvis?” “Ok. Mr. Texas” “Kermit the 𓆏” “that’s sam Winchester” “who the fuck is that?” “I’m confused. Is she a demon?”

The demon storyline is over “PeePee, I’m not very good at this” “Winterfish? Whittling fish? You can whittle a fish on a stick or you can fish whittle sticks” “what the fuck” and laughter

Laughter

“What the fuck” “the ritual is baked in at this point” “oh shit. How long was he down there?” 🎶it’s a dick in a box🎶exploding dick in a box🎶

Laughter “that’s not funny” “Who is Sam talking about?” “You don’t know who Sasha Grey is?” “So they both just made a joke about a porn star? That’s why I laughed” “Little extra grizzled from purgatory?” i like the purgatory plot line

“Last season was ok, I guess. The ending felt anticlimactic” “Wow. He really sent this guy out for a piss” “6 months, eh?” “phone lines aren’t free. Did he pay for a phone he didn’t use for 6 months? Or did he just steal the phones?” “oh yeah just zoom and enhance” I don’t think there is a college in Centerville, MI

“Wasn’t she headed to like Yale or something?” “yeah fuck dogs” “hot take”

“I can relate” “I don’t trust most people’s dogs, though. Maybe I hate the owners more. Maybe it’s not the dogs’ faults” “colonial man” “that was very rubbery” “That’s not good” “Jesus fkn Christ” 🎶scowling at the world🎶

“He’s always thinking” “I can relate. It’s impossible to shut your brain off” “I feel like Sam should be more surprised to see Dean back. This is #2 back, right? He’s just mad now. Aw fuck, my brother died twice so I’m angry” “Just one of the many things I don’t like about sam” “Is this a bros before hoes moment?” “that whole room matches minus the carpet. The carpet does not match the drapes” “Be fair I haven’t seen any drapes yet” “What did Don ever do to Dean’s joints?” “lacing the drugs?” “I feel like he’s been there a year and hasn’t had one of these conversations already? And this guy is saying you can’t trust anyone?” “So Adderall puts you on a mission from god? IS that what I just heard?” “that’s a weird thing to say” “what the fuck” “looks like a ferrofluid” “which one are you staring at bud?” “the fuck?” Sam hit a dog and met a girl while Dean was making friends with vampires and fighting in purgatory

“I feel the same way” “That’s the face I’m going to give you next time I have a burger” “Didn’t he spin around the laptop already?” “oh he turned it back” “that doesn’t look like that good of a burger. Like a college campus burger” He hasn’t eaten much in the last year

“That’s true” “Why wouldn’t he be at a church? He’s a prophet of the lord” “He could have been dead for 6 months already” “It’s been 6 months since your last confession” laughter

“Is Kevin Tran a dark version of Ash Ketchum? Crowley’s the old man you see in every room, because the old man tells you what skill to remember, and you remember the skill” “It can’t be what - a couple paragraphs” “some shithole in Wisconsin” I mean there’s a lot of open space in Wisconsin. Farm land and stuff�� “fkn goat” “because he’s the greatest demon of all time” “Man this show could have really gone a different direction” “Yup” 🎶fuck you sam🎶

“His hair is extra fucked this season, too” “This is the weirdest shit ever. All the candles are lit. We’re in some old ass church” “What the fuck did I just miss?” It was a bad joke

“Is that why I don’t understand it?” “This is not the lesson you want to teach kids” “Yup” “Could have just said that with your eyes” Did you get the blowjob joke? “No, I didn’t get it” “Sounds like locker room talk to me” “oh shit. Speaking of locker room talk” “they don’t have any leverage, to be fair” laughter

“That was rather emasculating” “Why find another one?” “oh. Well shit. Fuck you Crowley” “The head doesn’t like being hit” It’s a Marine phrase

“I guess John was a marine” What did you have to do down there, Dean? “Did this guy play another character in the show?” Yes, he was actually a vampire in an early season

#beautifulspouserewatchesspn #supernatural rewatch #supernatural #supernatural s8

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spoilertv · 1 year ago

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#SpoilerTV

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the-supernatural-rewatch-project · 2 years ago

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s1ep1 "Pilot"

welp here we go again! the first episode of my two year long supernatural rewatch project! im pressing play, let to fuckery begin.

bullet points are thoughts as i watch, paragraphs are my closing comments!

Why do I pay money for amazon prime if they are gonna show me ads before what im trying to watch???

happy John Winchester feels incorrect, like where’s the assholery.

And poor Mary, dying for no good reason except to forward the plot.

AND FUCK AZELZEL or however you spell his name. They were so happy, they were a family!!! And yeah so what Mary was from a line of hunters or whatever BUT THATS RETCON!!!

god its been six?? years since I first saw supernatural but still the image of Mary of the dealing face screaming out in pain as the flames engulf the room is so chilling.

DAMN??? Sam got a 174 on the LSAT??? Good for him, i assume all I know about the lsat is from legally blonde.

justice for Jessica honestly, such a great girlfriend and Sam was a little shit.

Okay sam being all home defence over dean creeping around in the dark is kinda cute.

Sam and Jess were just a happy couple, Jess didn’t deserve all that.

“Dad hasn’t been home in a few days” “dads on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days” two sentences that make me regret starting this rewatch project.

“not normal, Safe” YEAH YOU TELL HIM SAM!!

I try and deny it but i am a sam girl.

DEAN TWENTY SIX??? oh my god, and still that attached to daddy.

Sam and Deans upbringing was basically a cult.

“you know there’s evp on that” yeah sam, its called static.

Sam should have become a lawyer. He wouldn’t be good, but it wouldn’t be hunting.

I LOVE YOU JESS, DATE ME NOT SAM!!! I would NEVER get you killed.

Oh yeah, this episode is a woman in white.

tits out, dead a fuck, “take me home” yeah I would 100% let her kill me.

Now that I remember this is a woman in white episode, i remember the plot of it. I actually really liked this episode’s monster of the week aspect. the woman in white was a compelling victim and perpetrator, and i really felt for her.

“it’s the greatest hits of mullet rock”

“driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole”

god I hate hate HATE the fbi badges, you two are babys, infants, CHILDREN!! Yall are NOT FBI agents!!!

“Why do you have to talk to police like that??” Damon Sammy? What kinda lawyer were you tryna become??

Oh yeah they are talking about dad again, this episode feels like it rapidly swings from feeling like any monster of the week episode of supernatural OR any plot driven episode.

um holy shit…. Dean shoving Sam against the pilled. Perhaps i know why wincest was the big ship until cas was introduced. (I mean like i dont ship it, but i can see why)

Okay the car driving itself was fun.

lmao dean at the edge of the river looking like a drowned fish is hilarious.

“you smell like a toilet” I’ve been reminded that supernatural wasn’t written for teen/young adult queer women and was actually written for white dudes.

“No chick flick moments” see my previous point.

“Jerk” “bitch” I hate this.

women in white are just so good, i love them.

ahhh the introduction of dads journal. The biggest problem solver in the entire fucking series.

this poor husband, kids gone, wife gone.

Jesus fucking christ, that jump scare jumped me scarred.

this poor girl, she just wants to go home.

kill him!!! I don’t want to watch another fifteen seasons of this horseshit

“Im taking you home” cringe alert 🚨

awww he’s not dead :(

Awww the kid ghosts :,(

wow that 2005 cgi does not hold up.

“If you screwed up my car, I’ll kill you” okay isnt the car the car that John brought Sam and Dean up in? How did the car become deans? John doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to buy himself a new car when the old one will do, and he certainly isn’t the kind to give his kid his car.

JESS MY BELOVED DONT DIE

How did Sam and Jess afford this huge fucking apartment?

NOOOO SHES DEAD!!!

Well first episode done, i am not 0.00305810397% of the way done supernatural! Why have I cursed myself with this burden.

Overall I did really like this episode! I think that it does create intrigue into the storyline, while also introducing the monster of the week format. However I wish they did a better job a meshing the two together, it did feel like I was watching two separated shows that happens to smashed together. One monster of the week and one plot driven.

As for the monster of the week, I like women in white, i think they are a cool narrative function and aren’t region specific, they also aren’t indigenous folklore or spirituality significant / revered figures something that supernatural has a tendency to uh…. Lets say butcher, something that i can’t wait to deal with next episode.

For the arc’s plot I do think it does what it set out to do… introduce the plot of the show. Two brothers trying to find their father, who has gone missing. That’s really all I can say because honestly this arc was my least favorite the first time I watched supernatural I cant see that changing this time.

#the supernatural rewatch project #tsrp #s1ep1 #pilot #season 1 #supernatural analysis

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favefandomimagines · 2 years ago

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You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ (s.h)

Summary: he never thought it’d be you but he was ready when it was

AN: inspired by 4x7 so SPOILERS to anyone who hasn’t seen season 4 volume 1 of Stranger Things!!!

Instead of Nancy getting cursed by Vecna it’s the reader, Steve’s ex girlfriend, and since we don’t know what happens to Nancy and I can’t seem to write anything that doesn’t end happily, reader survives

You thought it was over. You thought that everything with the Upside Down was done and you could move on.

That was until your step sister Max spotted Chrissy Cunningham dead in Eddie Munson’s trailer. Then you were sucked into it all over again.

What made it worse was that you were still trying to get over the death of your brother. Billy wasn’t the greatest guy, hell he wasn’t even a decent guy but he was your brother. Your brother who got wrapped into something he knew nothing about.

And the guilt ate you alive every day after he died. You thought that maybe if you had only told him the truth about the demodogs, the Upside Down, Eleven, that he wouldn’t have been such an easy target.

You also thought and sometimes wished that it would’ve been you. That you would’ve been possessed by the Mind Flayer and not Billy.

They were things that you thought about daily but never told a soul. You only had Max who was also trying her best to cope.

Everyone around you seemed to just forget about your brother and move on with their lives. So much so that it angered you to no end.

Nancy, Robin, your boyfriend Steve, all seemed to forget that Billy died too not just Hopper. In your anger and your grief, you picked a fight with Steve. Screaming something about how because Hopper was Hopper they all see him as the hero, the martyr.

But they all forget Billy, who sacrificed his life to save El, you and Max. He did bad things so they just forgot about him. Steve told you that wasn’t true but you didn’t want to hear it. You were too angry at the world and at yourself.

That night you told Steve you were done and hadn’t spoken to him since.

Until it all started happening again. You, your step sister and your friends had to find a way to clear Eddie’s name and stop anyone else from dying. You didn’t know that was going to end up with you being in the Upside Down.

You were all taking a moment to catch your breath and assess your wounds after the demobats attacked.

They had taken a good chunk of flesh out of Steve and you were sat in front of him trying to bandage them as best you could.

It was the most you had interacted with him since this whole adventure started. His eyes were trained on you rather intently as you tied the piece of cloth around his torso.

Steve was still hopelessly in love with you. He never wanted to end your relationship and he wanted to beg for you back but he knew you needed to heal. And if you couldn’t do that while being with him, he had to let you go.

As he watching you closely, he noticed some blood coming from a wound in your neck. “Hey, hey, you’re hurt.” Steve spoke as he sat forward, placing a hand on the side of your neck.

“I’m fine. I could look like you right now.” You joked. “Y/N, let me see it.” He said. “Steve,” You started. “Y/N,” He replied. “I’m fine.” You said sternly. “You don’t have to be fine with me. You can talk to me.” He told you.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, looking down at your handy work. Then your eyes found his and for a moment you felt like everything could be okay. But reality sunk in way too quick.

Thankfully it seemed that your time in the Upside Down was coming to an end. You had found the gate at Eddie’s trailer and watched as Robin and Eddie climbed back to the other side.

You looked at Steve and he could see the fear on your face. “You’re going to be okay.” He said. You nodded your head and began to climb.

Buy you didn’t land in your dimension. You were standing in the middle of Star Court mall.

“No.” You whispered. You knew what this was now. Vecna had taken ahold of you, cursed you. “Y/N.” You heard a sinister voice say.

You turned around and saw a fleeting figure walking towards you.

“You could have told me the truth. Saved me.” The voice said. As the figure got closer, you could make out that it was Billy. He was covered in blood, holes in his chest and abdomen from the Mind Flayer.

“Billy,” you started, tears welling up in your eyes. “You should have told me everything. I would be alive right now if you told me.” He said. “You did it on purpose.” He added. “No, no, Billy I didn’t.” You pleaded.

Back in the trailer, Steve was trying to shake you awake. Anything to get you to go back to normal.

“No, no, no, not you. It can’t be you, please.” He begged. “Dustin! He’s got Y/N!” Steve yelled through the gate. “Shit, shit, shit!” Dustin swore. “Come on, Y/N, don’t do this.” Steve said, hands cupping your face.

“Steve, her favorite song! What’s her favorite song?” Robin called. “I-I-“ Steve stammered before he took a breath.

Freaking out and losing hope was not going to save you and he couldn’t let you die, not like that.

“You wanted me to die, Y/N. Admit it.” Billy spoke. “No I didn’t.” You said firmly. Though you were a crumbling mess on the outside. “You were selfish. You, Max, Harrington. All of you selfish.” He said. “Billy please.” You cried. “You could join me. Come be with me in death. We can be together again. No one can hurt us there.” He told you.

In a matter of seconds, Billy wasn’t standing in front of you anymore, it was Vecna. His hand shot out and wrapped around your throat, squeezing the life out of you.

“Join me and your suffering will end.” He spoke menacingly.

“You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips,” Steve’s voice echoed. “And there’s no tenderness like before in your fingertips,”

His voice was there, you could hear it but it also sounded a million miles away.

He was singing your favorite song, something he only ever did when he was with you and you only. Steve had always wondered why you loved that song so much and you could never give him a clear answer. It was a sad song and he never knew why you loved it.

You would tell him that the lyrics portrayed hopelessness but the music made you feel the exact opposite. You could never help but sing at the top of your lungs whenever you’d hear it.

It was exactly the way Max had described it when Vecna tried to curse her. She heard ‘Running Up that Hill’ the second you and Lucas had put the tape in her Walkman.

“You’re trying hard not show it, but baby, baby I know it,” You heard the next verse and looked down up at Vecna. You weren’t going to let him win when you had people who love you waiting for you on the other side.

“Join me, Y/N.” Vecna said. “No.” You answered. You maneuvered your head and bit the hand that was squeezing your throat. Vecna groaned in pain and let go of you, dropping you back to the ground.

When you looked up, you could see the outline of Steve standing in front of you, singing to you, trying to get you to come back to him. And you’d be damned if you went out the same way your brother did. You didn’t want to be another name and face on the long list of senseless deaths in Hawkins.

You ran as fast as you could towards the opening where you saw Steve, the sound of his voice being your driving force. “You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’ woah that lovin’ feelin,’ bring back that lovin’ feelin’ cause it’s gone, gone, gone,”

This time you heard Max’s voice along with Steve’s as you ran. You couldn’t let her lose yet another sibling in such a gruesome way and she didn’t need to see that again. When you reached the opening, you gasped and let your eyes refocus.

“Oh my god, y-you’re back. You’re okay.” Steve exclaimed, pulling you into a tight embrace. You squeezed your eyes tightly as you hugged him back, the act bringing the utmost sense of relief. “I’m okay, I’m okay.” You breathed, repeating it for you and for him. “You sang to me.” You said. “Yeah, yeah I did. How else were you supposed to hear The Righteous Brothers?” He replied light with humor.

“I’m so sorry.” You cried. “Never apologize. You have nothing to apologize for.” Steve said. “I was awful, I pushed you away. I was so angry that we all just forgot about Billy and I took it out on you.” You rebutted. “I never forgot Billy. I see his face everyday and I thank him because if it wasn’t for what he did, you wouldn’t be here.” Steve told you.

You pulled apart and looked up at him, complete adoration on your face. “I love you, Steve.” You said. “I love you, Y/N. I never stopped.” He replied.

“Hate to break up the moment but can you guys get the hell out of there, please?” Eddie yelled through the gate. You smiled at Steve for a moment, wanting to dwell in that moment for a little longer.

“You ready?” Steve asked. “As long as you’re right behind me.” You replied. “I’ll always be right behind you. I promise.” Steve answered and he meant it.

#imagine #imagines #stranger things imagine #stranger things #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #dustin henderson

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fitzells · 2 years ago

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an unedited, unrequested steve blurb. set in episode 9 so season 4 spoilers below!

Your nimble fingers tremble as you sort through the piles of donated clothing, the plethora of sounds from the busy crowd swarming you from where you stand in the centre of the gymnasium. Your head is all over the place, fatigued and somehow simultaneously hyperactive as you try to piece together the mess of what had happened over the course of the last few days. The last few months. The last few years. All of the above.

Just vaguely, you can make out Steve’s voice; he’s standing beside you, constantly leaning over your body to reach towards the boxes of clothes cluttering the table beside you. Everytime he reaches over, you catch a waft of his cologne; it calms you. You’re not really sure why you can’t listen to him, why you won’t listen to him. He hasn’t done anything wrong, you’re not upset with him. You just wish that time could stop for a moment.

Eddie’s dead, Max is comatosed, the ground holding your entire town together was split open for reasons you can’t say out loud without sounding like a total maniac. Everything is a mess, a complete and total mess, and you can’t escape it. None of that is Steve’s issue, so why can't you just turn to talk to him? Everyone else seems fine; Steve’s still looking out for everyone, Robin’s still making quippy remarks, Nancy’s still as neat and put together as ever; even Dustin, who was forced to watch his new found hero die in arms only two days ago seems to be holding it together better than you. Why were you such a mess?

Sure, you’ve always felt as though you had a strong bond with Max. The urge to protect her from all possible forms of harm had been looming ever since you met her; she was your kid sister, blood or not. Eddie and you seemed to click upon first meeting, you never really knew him in high school; you wish you did. Even though you didn’t know the guy for that long, he might’ve been one of the greatest people you had the pleasure of knowing. He was a good person, and an even better friend. You hate that everyone’s formed their own opinion of him, you hate that he can’t defend himself, you hate that you can’t tell them the truth.

“Hey.” Steve’s jean clad hip nudges your own, eyebrows furrowed as he peers down at you. “You okay?”

No, not okay. I’m not okay. None of this is okay. How are you holding it together so well? “I’m fine.”

He nods slowly, not believing you for even a second. He doesn’t want to push it, you’d only shrug and brush it off. “You want me to come over tonight? I know your parents are out of town, figured you might not want to be alone.”

And you don’t want to be alone. You really truly don’t. In fact, you want Steve to come over and stay with you because the mere thought of having to spend another night alone with your thoughts in that empty house in this eerie town makes you want to hurl. Yet, the thought of him having to watch you when you become the anxious, emotional wreck that you seem to morph into everytime you get more than ten seconds alone makes you even more nauseous.

“Uh.” You pause, sweeping a hand over your forehead as you fold the last pile of clothes from one box, sorting them into sections and placing a fresh box filled with garments on the table in its wake. “I need to get some things for Max from her trailer and bring them to the hospital. Her mom wants me to bring some things for when she wakes up.” If she wakes up.

“I’ll probably stay at the hospital until late.” You continue, placing a yellow blouse in the section labelled ‘womens’. “So…”

Steve gnaws down on the inside of his mouth. Why don’t you want him around? You’re struggling, and it seems as though the last person you want to see is him, when you’re the person who’s been holding him together since this whole thing happened.

“Can I go with you? To the hospital— and the trailer. I know you don’t like driving in the dark anymore; and I don’t really want you to go over there on your own.” He’s rambling, he knows he is. He sounds like an idiot; why is he panicking? He’s your boyfriend, he’s allowed to care.

Please don’t shut me out, he thinks to himself. His eyes pierce holes into your temple as he watches purposely avoid his gaze.

“Erm—“ Your voice wavers, cutting yourself off. You feel like you’re about to cry, because he’s so perfect; so caring and kind and loving and you’re here self sabotaging because you don’t want to burden him. You’re driving yourself crazy and worrying him sick. “I don’t—“

You look at his face, the way his eyebrows are knitted together, the way his under eyes are darkened, the way his right arm is hovering in the air because he wants to pull you in close to him but doesn’t want to smother you. Your eyes water. “Actually, yeah. Yeah, I’d really like that.”

“Yeah?” His face lights up, he tries to bite back the grin on his face but he can’t stop it; he’s getting through to you. You nod. Your tears fall. Great, now you’re crying.

He coos at you, heart aching as your face crumples and you wrap your arms around his neck, burying your head in the crook. He sighs, one strong hand around the back of your head to support you, the other wrapping around your waist to keep you close to him.

Across the room, Robin gazes over at you. She gives Steve an encouraging thumbs up, and he shoots her a weak grin, before he’s pressing gentle kisses against your hairline. It’s almost pathetic to you how easy it is for him to ease your worries. Not everything is fixed, you know that; but having him around makes things a lot easier.

The crowds around you don’t seem as loud, the room doesn’t seem as small, you can breathe again. So can he.

“Steve?” Your head’s nudged against his chest, hands still clutching the fabric of his cotton shirt. He hums. “Can you stay over tonight?”

He lets out an airy chuckle, pulling you in close to him. “‘Course I can.”

(this is literally just me venting about how i feel about s4 ending and steve giving me the comfort i needed bc i’m not ok sorry bye)

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington #stranger things fic #steve harrington imagine #Steve harrington #Steve harrington Drabble #Steve harrington fic #stranger things #x reader #stranger things x reader #steve harrington blurb

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eri-cheri · 4 years ago

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Now that we have reached the last chapter of the year. It is time to do a 2020 roll call of what I like to call, “State of the Shippers”:

1. IzuOcha. Status: Placated.

-IzuOcha’s could celebrate several cute tidbits throughout the year. Mini moments as they say.

Anime Highlights: The OVA’s came in clutch with moments for shippers all around and IzuOcha is no exception. We got a cute tidbit where Izuku and Ochako bumped into each other and were flustered.

Manga Highlights: Christmas kept on giving to this fandom as the AM doll Izuku gave Ochako made many appearances. A cute fist bump between the two was also exchanged and Mina was right there bouncing with y’all.

Heroes Rising: Izuku super man carried Ochako to safety. And was Angy she was injured. Fans could enjoy the small Lois Lane moment.

Troubling Signs?: Ochako said “I would like to be excluded from this narrative” when it comes to her feelings for Deku. She’s a hero damnit! So if they are in for something, probably won’t be while they are still in school.

II. DabiHawks. Status: Yikes.

- Dabi and Hawk’s very public breakup set this fandom in disarray but also kind of disayay?

Anime Highlights: None yet. This fandom was cruelly cock blocked by Bones. Sorry DabiHawks stans.

Manga Highlights: Where to begin, my goodness. With these fans, I guess the good and the bad is a plus in this homoerotic double agent relationship. We have the notion that Dabi may have known Hawks when they were kids, which may be a positive? Hori sure loves his childhood friends. Other than that. The GIRLS WERE FIGHTIN’. Hawks is now permanently scarred by Dabi and I don’t think it was kinky folks. Tokoyami inserted himself in the middle to White Knight Hawks, Dabi broke up with him via YT expose and overall, shippers could anguish in the absolute MESS that this ship endured this year. But I’m sure that’s part of the appeal. So...yay?

Heroes Rising: They were both in it.

Troubling Signs?: The entire relationship is a troubling sign which again, is part of the appeal. Maybe Hawks will cuddle up with Dabi’s father after the war. That’s troubling! Speaking of...

III. EndHawks. Status: Yearning and Burning.

-If there’s one thing Endeavor couldn’t stop worrying about, it was his hot (in more ways than one) new side piece who probably should have looked at the fine print when signing a contract to be a recurring guest star on “Keeping up with the Todoroki’s”.

Anime Highlights: A fateful meeting finally in high definition for all our eyes to see! Hawks’s unwavering support of his biggest hero was endearing to watch and their shenanigans together spurred the anime onlies to finally jump on the biggest May-December ship in the series.

Manga Highlights: Endeavor’s admiration and concern for Hawks seeped through the pages as we entered our most exciting arc in the manga yet. Fate split these two up yet entwined their downfall together. And that Fate’s name was Dabi...or should I say ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️ or should I just say Touya!

Heroes Rising: “Don’t bite my head off, Endeavor.” Geez, can you flirt a little less loud Hawks?

Troubling Signs?: They say never meet your heroes and Hawks is in for a rude awakening. We shall see just how deep his admiration runs or if Endeavor’s past will split our dynamic duo up for good.

IV: TodoDeku. Status: “Precious”

-Shoto’s “Midoriya is in Danger” radar was highlighted in both manga and anime. 4th User’s quirk, who?

Anime Highlights: “Midoriya hasn’t returned yet.” “Where’s Midoriya?” “Midoriya! Grab my hand!” “Have some of my Soba Midoriya.” Shoto gets it. His emotional support friend is a danger magnet. TodoDeku’s also enjoyed tiny tidbits in the OVA such as a hand grabbing scene. Gotta hold tight to those crumbs.

Manga Highlights: Two Words. “Precious Friend.” Deku comes in w/o arms or legs fighting for Shoto and Shoto’s honor. These two spent the entire year worried sick about each other, and going against all odds to save each other. Precious Friends indeed. TDDK fans ate.

Heroes Rising: Shoto kicks some dog ass and then faints thinking of Deku (and Bakugo but shh. Let the shippers rejoice.) On the bright side, we have a 3rd movie coming featuring “The Three Musketeers” so shippers of TdDk can HOLD TIGHT to what’s to come.

Troubling Signs?: Shoto still doesn’t know about OFA and he’s gonna have LOTS of questions after this arc. Will Deku finally tell him? If not, it could make or break the ship.

V. TodoBaku. Status: “Shining through the city with a little funk and soul.”

-Who knew the greatest comedy duo we needed was Shoto and his hot headed “friend” or not friend? It still remains unclear to Shoto. Regardless, these two had a fun year.

Anime Highlights: “I wanna see your cute face”, disco dancing, and more fun in the provisional license training. Plus the OVA added some cute moments between the two such as Bakugo staying behind to save Todoroki during a dangerous excercise and his adorable plan neatly animated for us. I’d say TodoBaku’s really were resurgent and energized this year!

Manga Highlights: Shoto, that is not how you properly Catch a Kacchan, I’m sorry. But at least you did it you mad lad. As with Deku, Shoto spent the year worried sick about Bakugo. While the anime let us have our fun, these two were suffering in the manga.

Heroes Rising: Again, Shoto put a dog down and then fainted with Bakugo on his mind (and Deku but we ignore that. Shush.) TodoBaku’s have the 3rd movie to look forward to which is bound to have some amazing content!

Troubling Signs?: They have a lot of trauma to deal with. And a lot of Deku to worry about. I also imagine Shoto will be hurt about being left out of the OFA secret. We shall see what 2021 has to offer.

VI. KiriMina. Status: Unbreakable.

-Changing your hairstyle to match the gal who inspired you in middle school? Sorry y’all but if Mina were a guy, I’d say that’s gay af.

Anime Highlights: We got that backstory Bois. Red Riot’s origin might as well make him be called Pink Riot. Again with Hori and the childhood friends though I wouldn’t exactly call them friends. They just went to the same middle school but Kirishima was highly influenced by Mina’s Chivalrous spirit! A ship is born!

Manga Highlights: The influence is mutual! Mina creates a move based on Kirishima’s unbreakable and we all let out a collective “awwww”. Also in the war arc, we got Kirishima making sure Mina’s chivalrous spirit shines through right into Gigantomachia’s mouth! KiriMina may just be the unsung MVP’s of this arc.

Heroes Rising: They were in it.

Troubling Signs?: I can’t think of a single one. KiriMina’s can enjoy a peaceful sailing.

VII: KiriBaku. Status: Crumb Collectors.

-2020 was an uneventful year for KiriBaku but Bones made sure there were crumbs aplenty! Thank God for OVA’s!

Anime Highlights: KiriBaku’s did thrive in one episode! Kirishima reflects on the sludge incident and evolves his quirk based on inspiring words from Bakugo! Hooray! KiriBaku’s can thrive in their blossoming friendship. The OVA also has Kirishima (and Kaminari but shh) once again following Bakugo’s lead when it comes to the training excercise. How can you not? He’s so manly!

Manga Highlights: Not gonna lie. There is nothing much here this year. I did find a teeny tiny flake in Aizawa’s flashback. Kirishima and Bakugo are sitting next to each other. Oh! And at the hot pot gathering, Bakugo sits next to Kirishima! Eat your crumbs KiriBaku’s! There’s always next year!

Heroes Rising: Kirishima hangs with a lazy Bakugo and delivers the most hilarious line in the whole movie. “Silly Bakugo, there won’t be villains here!” Hahah... Silly Bakugo. Oh you~ KiriBaku’s can inhale the fact that those two sure love to hover around each other!

Troubling Signs?: With great crumbs come little responsiblity. No trouble if there’s no content! 🤔

VIII: KamiJirou. Status: Singing their hearts out 🎶

-If there’s any ship that’s coming close to canonization, I think this is it, folks! “Think of the person most important to you!” Can’t argue with Midnight!

Anime Highlights: Kaminari does non stop encouraging of Jirou and her hobbies! He works super hard to learn guitar for her sake! We love a king who can encourage his queen!

Manga Highlights: Kaminari thinks of the most important person to him and surprise! It’s Jirou! All of the feels can commence.

Heroes Rising: They were in it!

Troubling Signs?: Kaminari does love his women. And men. Kaminari overall is a huge flirt. But Jirou appears to have his heart strings. ❤️

IX: BakuDeku. Status: Rising. 👑

-Alternative Statuses include Winning, Thriving, Soaring. It’s just been non stop content this year. 2020 is truly the year for BakuDeku. The shippers can rejoice.

Anime Highlights: Three words. Be. My. Cane. The OVA’s helped fan the flames of the BkDk hearts with a surprise! Deku tops! Not only that, we got a lovely shoulder tap of encouragement in the canon material. While in season 4, Deku’s primary focus was Eri. Bakugo and Deku still had their moments to be hella gay.

Manga Highlights: Where do I even begin? I guess we’ll just cut to the chase with Bakugo Katsuki: Rising. We finally saw Bakugo’s true feelings manifest for Deku and if getting stabbed for him isn’t the ultimate showing of love, then idk what is. BakuDeku’s rounded out the year with the Volume 29 cover AND the volume 29 cover drafts to eat at our heart strings. Overall, their relationship got the spotlight in the manga this year. And we’re bound to start 2021 with a dramatic confrontation. Hand holding seems to be the key with these two and it didn’t stop with Heroes Rising...speaking of.

Heroes Rising: The entire movie. Like....yeah. That’s it. [OP, your bias is showing. You have to be SPECIFIC.] {But random criticizer in my head, if I lay out the entire plot of the movie, my post will be too long} [OP....] UGHHHH Okay okay. The POPSICLE MELTING. THE HAND HOLDING. THE CHARACTER DESIGNS OF WHAT MIGHT AS WELL BE THEIR LOVE CHILDREN. Did I mention? “It’s fine if it’s you?” CAUSE YEAH. Oh and All Might randomly officiating their wedding in their heads like idk. Isn’t it just simpler if I say the whole movie??!

Troubling Signs?: Well these two’s relationship is extremely delicate and while it has non stop soared this year, Deku might not take too kindly to Bakugo almost dying for him. Will they stop pushing each other away? Time will tell.

That’s all for this year folks! Happy Shipping and good luck to everyone next year!

#my hero academia #bnha spoilers #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #bakudeku #izuocha #tododeku #todobaku #DabiHawks #endhawks #KiriBaku #kamijirou #kirimina

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masterthespianduchovny · 3 years ago

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I’m going to be honest: I dislike Nate right now.

And that’s perfectly fine.

I understand that this show loves to redeem people, however, as I said in another post, you can only redeem someone if there are negative feelings and/or you believe that person wronged someone or whatever. If you have positive feelings and excuse what they did, what exactly are they being redeemed for?

Despite loving Rebecca’s character, when I rewatch season one, I don’t like her at times. I dislike a lot of what she did back then. It doesn’t matter that I know she tells the truth eventually, the stuff she did was still fucked up. I’m not going to preemptively excuse her actions because I know the end goal.

Take Jamie for instance, his behavior was not okay. We know why he behaves that way, but it still wasn’t justified. We are still allowed to dislike him and what he did then. We talk about the negative effects of the bullying Nate received from the players, yet some try to excuse Nate’s bullying and his actions?

Wrong is wrong. Jamie being verbally abused by his dad didn’t justify how he treated others just like how Nate’s father (and bullying by others) is emotionally abusive doesn’t justify Nate’s behavior.

Although we understand the context, Nate IS being a fucking backstabbing asshole right now. Some may hate to hear that, but this isn’t an unfair opinion or unflattering light of him. This is exactly how he’s behaving.

There are some who has a ton of sympathy for Nate, but I’m not one of them. Please believe, I do hold some sympathy for him, but I have a limit.

So here’s reasons why Nate is on my shitlist and I’ll wait until he’s actually redeemed to forgive him.

1. Calling Rebecca a shrew. It’s not the fact that he literally called Rebecca this, but that he immediately verbally attacked the woman. We can say, “oh no, she’s the owner so he had reasons to think…”

No, Nate literally attacked Rebecca for no reason at all. She had little to no interaction with him and has never disrespected or harmed him in anyway, yet he has these intense feelings of dislike in the moment based off what exactly?

Nate attacked Rebecca because she is a woman. If you disagree, what other reason it might be? The reason I believe it was due to her gender is because she’s been defanged so to speak. So he doesn’t fear her like he used to. But Nate also practices in casual misogyny ie his shoe remark to Rebecca and Keeley. That may not seem like a big thing, but how is that an involuntary response??? With him believing he got fired, he doesn’t wait for answers, he immediately attacks her. And I had to ask myself, would he have done this with a man? With someone like Rupert? No fucking way. Nate can’t even directly challenge Ted who is a ray of sunshine, but attacks someone who he literally ran away from in fear in the pilot. Although Nate respects power, he respects male power the most. He skipped over Ted and Beard and went straight towards Rebecca. The fact that this even happened has always been disturbing to me. And Nate is fucking lucky that he hasn’t said any of his comments to old Rebecca (not age, but personality. 🥺) because she would have fired him. Only due to her relationship with Ted and him getting to let her guard down and find her old self that she frowned and shrugged Nate’s comments off. Most bosses at the very least would’ve talked to Nate and he didn’t get even that.

2. Projecting his daddy issues onto Ted. I understand that nate is going through some tough shit and has been for literally decades, however, that doesn’t mean make someone your stand in dad because they were nice and kind. Ted treats Nate like he does the other coaches, but Nate wants a special and unique relationship that will never exist. Ted is not his father and he didn’t ask for the job or the responsibilities.

I understand that people go through shit and latch onto those who made the rough times easier. I get that. However, all this animosity, scheming, and resentment because Ted isn’t giving the attention he wants. That fucking unfair to Ted. He didn’t ask or sign up to be Nate’s father figure. Yet he’s being punished for not being something he never wanted to be. Never even thought about it.

And because I’ve seen/partially experienced this shit, people getting mad at you for not being who they projected onto, it makes me upset at Nate. Because people like this really do become resentful and manipulative and that is not okay despite their own hurt that they’re dealing with. Why does the person you projected on have to suffer for something they’re unaware of and have no obligation to fulfill?

Nate isn’t just trying to blow up Ted’s professional career, he’s doing it via one of the cruelest ways: using his mental health against him. Thereby exploiting Ted’s trust in him.

Ted has literally changed Nate’s life for the better and rather than have a man to man talk with him, he cowardly tries to sabotage Ted in one of the worst ways imaginable.

3. His cognitive dissonance about how coaching works!!!

This seriously irritates me because, on some level, Nate knows that the very system he’s criticizing is how it works across ALL team sports and with reason.

He wants to be a damn head coach soooo bad—does he think ideas, plans, plays, etc only comes from head coaches???

What does he think assistants are there for?

For those who aren’t familiar with sports and coaching, literally every team sport has a head coach and then assistants under them. These assistant typically specialize in a given thing.

In American football, I believe there are like defensive coaches, strength and conditioning coaches, etc. there are coaches who watch a lot of tapes to learn the opposition and how to make plays to hold them exploit their weakness and tailor plays around that.

Like on the professional level there are so many types of coaches and, hell, not all of them want to be head coaches. Some of the greatest coaching minds aren’t head coaches.

For example, the American basketball team the Chicago bulls fired their coach Doug Collins in like 1989, I think. He was a good coach, but one of his assistant coaches had a basketball IQ out of this world. Doug refused to listen to him, but management fully supported this assistant coach. Now the other assistant coach they were grooming to take over, Phil Jackson, if you’ve heard of him, DID listen to this basketball genius. So much so that when he became head coach after Doug was fired, he continued to implement The Triangle offense that came from this basketball genius, which Phil was known for until he retired.

Nate’s upset that Ted gets all the credit for if they win, he does realize that Ted also gets all the blame for if they lose. Ted has always highlighted his coaching staff and everyone who helped him. He has always stressed that he wouldn’t be where he is without them. And when he loses, he takes full ownership. He doesn’t pass the blame at all.

Does Nate seem like someone who’d take ownership for losing?

Does Nate seem like someone, at this moment, who’d appropriately give credit to assistant or anyone else who helped him?

Would he even listen?

What makes Ted a great coach is that he gives others opportunities to step up to the plate and if/when they succeed, he allows them to shine.

Ted sees the fuller picture, for the most part, and knows how to address his weaknesses and who’s stronger than him in what area. He realized that the team needed a presence like Roy on the team. He knew he needed someone like beard who could absorb insane amounts of knowledge. He saw that Nate had potential coaching ability.

But Nate doesn’t understand the importance or value of this. He also doesn’t understand how instrumental Ted’s philosophy has been in transforming the culture of the team. That this is also a reason why the team is playing better.

So like, yeah, I’ll forgive Nate when he’s redeemed. But these three things are what really irks me about him. Just because I understand why he is acting this way doesn’t mean I have to excuse it when he’s being a dick to others, complaining about shit only due to his ego, and doing fucked up shit like leaking someone’s mental health struggles so he can gain an advantage over them.

Does he think that if Ted leaves/gets fired that he’s getting the job??? I mean hopefully whatever he has going on with Rupert works out (before it inevitably goes wrong) because this isn’t going to turn out how he thinks it will.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #Nate Shelley #I wonder if Rupert is trying to get Richmond back and has some big master plan #I do not want that to happen of course #but what is he planning #probably trying to steal Nate away #and if that’s the case #good riddance #lol #Nate can come back once he calms down and gets himself together

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witcher-and-his-bard-archive · 4 years ago

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Hello! For Mermay can you do Lambert x Aiden and #11 - courting season? ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

thank you for this one, I have been meaning to write more Lambden and this was an excellent excuse to do so! ❤

warning for monster anatomy and smut

It's a good thing the Cat school has long since been disbanded because if any of Aiden's peers knew what he was doing, he'd never live it down. There's still the caravan, but Aiden has never associated with them, so he couldn't care less what they think about him and Lambert is more important to him than their opinions. The only problem is that Lambert isn't, in the strictest sense of the word, human. Technically, Aiden was hired to kill him, but that's just details.

What's important is how Lambert makes him feel. Because he doesn't do sappy shit like fuck the same person more than once, but Lambert makes him want to. It's been months and he still keeps coming back.

It started with a contract back in the autumn; local fishermen had complained about a creature ripping holes in their nets and stealing the fish for itself. Petty squabbles that could likely be solved by other means, but Aiden won't say no to a job that easy, so he accepted it. It turned out to be a misunderstanding; Lambert was simply getting back at the fishermen who had wronged him or the villagers in town - he pretends to be rough and grouchy, but deep down he's actually quite soft. And Lambert had been very thankful when Aiden had cleared things up, assuring the fisherman with complaints that the creature was now dead and wouldn't bother them anymore.

So, if Aiden has come back a time or two, he can hardly help it. Lambert's a great lay and doesn't mind the weird bits that others usually shy away from. And, regrettably, Aiden likes him for more than just the sex. Because Lambert's a snarky bastard and he's funny and he's a great storyteller if he can be coerced into it. But the worst part is when they're just lying there, usually immediately after sex, and it's quiet except for the breaths mingling in the sea air. And they can just be. When Lambert will tentatively reach up and curl cool, webbed fingers around Aiden's and pretend like he's not, but he'll just lie like that for as long as he's undisturbed. It does something funny to Aiden's heart that he tries not to look too closely at.

But this time, when he arrives at the secret beach they've designated as a meeting spot, Lambert isn't there. Aiden can smell him still, so it hasn't been long since he was here - he probably isn't hurt, or anything - but he's just not around. He frowns to himself and sits down at the water's edge to wait. Maybe he had to do something last minute and he's just delayed.

Aiden leans against one of the rocky cliffs that juts out of the ground, stretching his legs out almost all the way to the next. The opening to the sea here is quite small and it's a wonder he ever found Lambert in the first place, but it affords them some privacy from the town on the other side of the cliffs. He shuts his eyes, letting the warm summer sun beat down on him and crosses his arms behind his head to wait.

After half an hour, Lambert still hasn't shown up. But the smell of him still hangs in the air. He's lingering somewhere, just on the edge of Aiden's range of sight or something and he's sick of it. Whatever his reasons for not showing up, Aiden's had enough of it. It's been months since he's seen him and, as much as he's tried to deny it, he's missed him.

"Hey," he shouts, clambering to his feet, "hey asshole, get out here, you're late."

There's nothing, not even the sounds of water rippling and Aiden frowns.

"Lambert, I know you're here, just come out and see me."

Nothing, again. Aiden sighs and shuts his eyes.

"Lambs, if something's wrong just tell me. If you don't come and see me I'm gonna assume something happened and I'm gonna have to go on a rampage through the village and-"

"You don't have to do that."

Aiden turns to see Lambert's head and shoulder just breaking the surface of the water. He's frowning at him, but Aiden beams.

"There you are," he says, crouching down next to the edge. "The fuck kept you?"

"Can't do it this time," he shrugs and Aiden's grin turns to a frown.

"Why not?"

"Just… not now. Come back in a couple weeks or something, I don't know."

Aiden pauses, doing a quick once-over of what little of Lambert he can see and he realizes he's tense. Unusually tense. He reaches out to him, but Lambert flinches away and that's the last straw.

"Look, if something's wrong-"

"Nothing's wrong," Lambert snaps, "just get outta here."

"Lambs, if you're in pain or-"

"Go."

"I'm not going," Aiden says stubbornly, dropping to sit cross-legged across from the merman. "If you want me to leave, you'll have to give me what I want."

"Which is?"

"You."

"Bribing me for sex now?" Lambert scoffs. Aiden just laughs at him.

"Like I'd need to. But I wouldn't. I just… I missed you, idiot, 's been a while."

"Told you," Lambert grumbles, a little quieter, almost regretfully, "come back in a week."

"You don't have to hide anything from me. I'm happy to go if that's what you want, but can you tell me why?"

Lambert crosses his arms and sulks, turning away from him and Aiden isn't sure what to do. He's never seen him like this before and he wants to help, but Lambert is sensitive and he doesn't want to press. He waits as Lambert continues to ignore him, but eventually, it becomes evident that Lambert is not backing down.

"Fine," he mumbles reluctantly, "see you in a few weeks, I guess." He's just about in the middle of the field when Lambert's voice breaks through the silence.

"Wait." Aiden is too stunned to even be smug about it and he turns back to him. "Don't... don't go."

"Gettin' some mixed signals here, Lambs. What do you want? Stay or go?"

"Stay," he mumbles quietly, "please."

Aiden turns back and crosses to sit between the cliff faces again, looking down at Lambert where he's still in the water. He crouches down, elbows on his knees, and raises an eyebrow.

"You wanna tell me what's going on now?"

"Mating season," Lambert mumbles, almost silently. "Hate this time of year." Aiden can't help the sigh of relief that accompanies him flopping to the ground again.

"Gods, Lambert, I thought something was really wrong."

"Shows how much you know."

"Then tell me." Aiden shifts closer to the edge, so his knees hang over the ground when he crosses his legs again. Lambert sighs but swims right up, resting his elbows on the rock as he grumbles.

"Everyone else is off building nests or picking mates and I- I'm not."

"Look, if I'm the problem-" Aiden starts, ready to get up and leave again and never return if it means Lambert's happiness. But Lambert stops him, lifts a hand to settle on his knee.

"No," he says quietly, "it's not because of you. Just the same bullshit as always; why would anyone want me?"

"Does it matter?" Aiden asks gently, "if you choose a mate? You've always got me."

"'S not the same. And it's hard... to be around you right now."

"I'm... sorry?" Aiden says.

"Never been like this before," Lambert mumbles, "never felt so strong before."

"What hasn't?"

Lambert's cheeks flush and he frowns at the rock beneath them. Aiden slips a hand over his where it's still resting on his knee.

"Whatever you're afraid of, you don't have to be."

"This time of year," Lambert grits, "I- we- it's some stupid shit to ensure the continuation of our species or some dumb shit."

"Oh," Aiden says, realizing with a start, "oh. You're in heat?"

"Fuck off."

"Oh, Lambs," he grins, tipping forward onto his knees to lean over him, "if that's what it is, I can help. But I've been here before in the summer and-"

"You can't," Lambert says abruptly and Aiden drops back on his heels.

"Right, of course. It has to be another mermaid right? or a merman? merperson> I'm sorry-"

"No. It doesn't."

"Then let me help? You know I can make it good for you. What you need, Lambert, let me help."

"Can't ask you to."

"Why not? We've fucked more times than I can count, why not now?"

"Because it's different. Because usually that's all I want - to fuck - but this time I want you."

"And here I am." Aiden grins, spreading his arms wide and Lambert just gives him a look. It takes him a second, but Aiden realizes it's not just sex he's talking about. It doesn't take him any time at all to make a decision.

"If you want me," he starts, "I'd be your mate. If that's what you want."

"Fuck off, Witcher."

"I'm serious Lambs, please." He shuffles closer and this time, when he reaches out, Lambert lets him touch. He runs his thumb over Lambert's cheek and draws his fingers up under his chin. "I wouldn't keep coming back if I wasn't interested," he breathes and Lambert just stares at him.

Aiden knows he won't make the first move, he leans down, getting his hands under Lambert's arms and tugging him up and out of the water. Lambert eventually assists and they land in a heap, Lambert fitting nicely between Aiden's legs.

"I want you," Aiden whispers, bringing a hand to the back of Lambert's head and drawing him close. He kisses him softly, but when Lambert squirms, Aiden can feel the long length of his cock, already free and hard where it presses against Aiden's sodden thigh.

Lambert tenses for a moment but Aiden runs a soothing hand down his back and he relaxes, following the motion. He whines softly against Aiden's lips and reaches up to run a hand through his hair. It tugs a little, webbed fingers not being the greatest for combing through hair, but Aiden just smiles against him and slips his hand a little lower, moving over the swell of Lambert's tail.

"That's it," he mumbles, "let me take care of you."

Lambert doesn't speak, but he buries his face in Aiden's neck, whimpering as his hips rock urgently, pressing his cock between Aiden's thighs. He's still completely dressed, but Lambert seems unconcerned, nipping at his shoulders and jerking against him. It's hot as fuck and Aiden can't bring himself to do anything but watch, sliding both hands to Lambert's tail to help him keep steady.

"Gods, you're gorgeous," he mumbles, "gonna come for me, Lambs? Fuck my thighs and come just like this?"

Lambert whines loudly and seizes up abruptly, shoving his hips forward and biting down on Aiden's neck. Warmth seeps into his trousers and Aiden groans as Lambert's hips slow to a stop and he flops on top of him.

"Fuck, you really needed that, didn't you?"

Lambert rolls off of him, embarrassed, but Aiden moves after him, circling an arm around him and rolling him back again.

"No need to be embarrassed," he mumbles, tipping to kiss Lambert's mouth, "I know you, I want you, and seeing you like this is… fuck, Lambert." He winds a hand around Lambert's wrist, tugging his hand down to press against the front of his trousers. He's hard already and Lambert's hand closes around him reflexively.

He strokes a little, tentative, and Aiden is stunned to see him like this, so soft and nervous. He rocks into his palm eagerly, biting down on Lambert's lip.

"Touch me," he says, "don't hold back. Do what you want with me, I'm yours."

Lambert lets out another stifled moan, then shoves him onto his back, kissing him firmly even as Aiden laughs. He's pinned under Lambert's weight, delighting in the heavy warmth of him as he squirms back to settle between his legs. Strong fingers tear at his shirt, barely bothering to get the buttons undone before tugging it off of him and then he's pressing sharp claws into Aiden's chest, just shy of painful.

"Need you," he rasps and Aiden reaches up to cup the back of his head, drawing him into a fiery kiss. Lambert slumps against him, all but limp in Aiden's arms and he doesn't resist when Aiden pushes him back over.

He gets on his knees above him, sliding one hand between them to wrap around Lambert's cock, already fully hard and slick again, and stroking straight up to the tip. He presses his thumb inside, stroking slowly as Lambert bucks beneath him and doesn't withdraw until Lambert breaks the kiss to curse at him.

"Gonna set me off again like that," he pants and Aiden knows he wants to sound angry, but he comes across desperate and it's sexier than it should be.

"Want me to?" Below him, Lambert's dark eyes grow wide and his mouth drops open. "I will if you want. Whatever you want, Lambs."

"Please," he mumbles, "Aiden, please."

Aiden grins wickedly at him, bending to kiss him again as he presses his thumb deeper, stroking the outside of his cock with his fingers as Lambert jerks into the touch. He's never touched him like that and heat rolls up the back of his neck, the thought of being allowed to do this overwhelming. Lambert is so solitary, so private about anything other than what annoys him, and yet he opens himself immediately to Aiden when they fuck. So Aiden takes what he's given and does everything to give back.

He thrusts gently, careful not to push too hard, but Lambert throws his head back in a moan and arches off the ground, so he must be doing something right. But Lambert wasn't kidding when he said he could come like this. Before long, Aiden's entire hand is slick with pre-come, sliding easily into him and Lambert writhes under him, cursing and whining in equal measure until, as Aiden slides a second finger into him, he comes.

Lambert's hips buck and he covers Aiden's hand and most of his arm with his spend, but he's too lost to even notice it, letting Aiden guide him. It takes him a few minutes to calm down and Aiden holds him through it, kissing him softly and running his hands up and down his back. He hums softly against Lambert's skin until he squirms with impatience again.

Lambert squirms out of his hold and gets his hands on Aiden's trousers, getting them undone quickly and shoving them down so he can touch his cock. Aiden sighs as smooth fingers slip around him and he shifts lightly into the touch, rocking between Lambert's fingers. It feels good and he would be happy to come just like this, but he has a feeling Lambert isn't done with this yet. Lambert's cock is already swelling again and Aiden wants him, wants to touch him and feel him. He wants to make him come and see that look in Lambert's eyes when he finally tips over the edge into bliss.

Lambert draws him back to the present, reaching down to squeeze his balls and Aiden groans loudly, eyes flashing open to watch him. He rises onto his knees, staying low on his elbows so he's close to Lambert, so he can kiss his neck and nose at his jaw. He mouths at the skin as Lambert gets both hands around him, squeezing and stroking him firmly.

Aiden loves the feel of his hands, smoother and silkier than his own. He doesn't know if it's because he's a merman or just because it's Lambert but his hands feel better than any hands that have ever touched him.

He rocks into the touch, dropping to kiss Lambert's mouth, breathy and stilted. Pleasure zips up his spine and his cock jerks hard in Lambert's grip, earning him a small groan of approval.

"Mm, you gotta- oh, fuck Lambert- gonna make me come like that-"

Lambert just laughs and surges up to kiss him again as he slips one hand further down to play with his balls again. Aiden's eyes roll back with a groan and he grabs Lambert's wrists in one hand, pulling his hands off of him and rolling off to the side.

He lets go of Lambert's wrists and wiggles one arm under his waist, tugging him close so they're nose to nose. Lambert's breath catches and Aiden kisses him swiftly, nipping at his lip as he pulls away. Aiden presses a hand to his chest, slowly sliding it down Lambert's stomach, down past where his flesh meets scales. He loves the otherness of his scales, loves feeling like even though they are so different, they can still bring each other pleasure, can still care for each other.

He runs his fingertips down the entire length of Lambert's cock, pressing a little firmer as Lambert pushes into the touch. Lambert rocks forward and Aiden slips lower, pressing his fingers into the slit where his cock protrudes, fingering the base and pressing as deep as he can and circling around him. It makes Lambert squirm and Aiden makes a point of pressing more firmly and squeezing around the base of his cock.

Lambert's cock pulses under his hand and Aiden strokes right up to the head before pulling off altogether. He slips down again, pressing his fingers along the seam of Lambert's second slit, pressing in and rubbing into him. Lambert groans and Aiden slips deeper, pressing into the hot slick of him and Lambert pushes onto him, shifting closer to keep Aiden's fingers inside him.

"Mm, you like that don't you, sweets? You want me to fuck you, you want my cock?"

"Yeah," Lambert breathes, pressing in to nuzzle Aiden's neck, "please, fuck me."

"I think you can wait just a little longer," Aiden hums and Lambert groans at him, but when Aiden presses deeper into him, his protests fade into soft moans. "That's what I thought."

He curves his fingers, seeking out the little ridged area that he knows drives Lambert up the wall. It had been a fun discovery the first time around and now he just likes making him lose his mind. One day, he'll make him come like that, just his fingers inside him, but not now. Now, he's aching to fuck him and he doesn't want to tease too much, not when Lambert genuinely seems to need this right now.

He knows as soon as he's found the spot because Lambert's tail twitches and he curves in on himself, rocking forward and doing anything he can to get him to press harder. And because Aiden is feeling particularly generous, he does.

"Oh fuck, oh gods," Lambert rambles, "fuckin' love you, fuck."

He doesn't seem to catch the slip, but Aiden does and it takes all his focus not to slip in his ministrations. He keeps rocking into him, massaging that same spot until Lambert is all but crying with the need to come, writhing against him and whimpering into his skin. But Aiden's mind stopped some time back, still stuck on love you. He should know better than to put any weight into confessions in the middle of sex, but this is Lambert who would rather be caught dead than admit he loves his brothers.

All at once, everything makes sense and Aiden knows everything he's been feeling is more than just lust and respect for Lambert and he aches to tell him, but he doesn't want to spook him. Lambert is so flighty with feelings and emotions, that sometimes it's best to trick him into it, but his head is too foggy for that right now.

"You want it, love?" he asks and Lambert doesn't seem to even notice the pet name, just nods and nips at his shoulder. "Okay. Fuck, I've wanted you for so long," he mumbles.

Aiden withdraws his fingers, running briefly up the length of Lambert's cock before moving to his own dick. He rubs the head against Lambert's slit, teasing the slickness, but he wants it too badly. He slips forward, pressing into him, and Lambert rocks forward, abruptly taking him deep.

Aiden groans and pushes him onto his back, straddling him with both hands above his shoulders. He rolls his hips slowly, inching forward until he's settled deep in Lambert's body, slick heat completely engulfing him. He shuts his eyes, barely shifting his hips until Lambert squirms beneath him and commands him to fucking move.

When Aiden looks down again, Lambert's prick is dark and swollen, leaking from the tip, and he knows he's desperate to come again. He can't help but wonder how long it'll keep up for - not that he's not prepared to stay for a week if that's what it takes to get Lambert through this. But Lambert jerks again, pulling him from his thoughts, and Aiden picks up the pace.

He fucks into him steadily, forehead pressed to Lamberts as he shifts his weight to stroke Lambert's cock. He brings him off twice more like this and he's barely keeping it together himself when Lambert really starts to squirm.

He's barely recovered from his last orgasm and his cock is still soft against his stomach, so he shouldn't be ready to come again so soon. Aiden does everything he can think of to give him what he needs, but nothing seems to work. He fucks him harder, softer, quicker, kisses him, but Lambert is still twitchy and not in a good way.

"Tell me what you need," Aiden pants, "let me give it to you, love."

Lambert just groans and buries his head in Aiden's neck. "Come on Lambs, tell me. I wanna give it to you, what do you need?"

"Want you to bite me," he mumbles and Aiden could laugh. He's an idiot, it's so simple.

"Well, if that's all," he smirks, but Lambert presses a hand to his chest to stop him leaning closer.

"Not just… I want you to claim me. Bite my neck, make me bleed. Mark me."

"Oh." Aiden's mind races because this is different than a slip of the tongue; this is deliberate. "Yeah, darling, anything you want. Just tell me what to do." He rocks his hips quicker again, thrusting forward hard as Lambert stares up at him.

"Right here," Lambert breathes, tilting his neck and tapping his skin right where his neck and shoulder meet. "If you mean it, bite me here."

"Fuck," Aiden groans and his cock throbs as he sinks into him again. He shouldn't be so stupidly turned on by the idea of claiming Lambert as his own, by the idea of keeping him, but it's making his head foggy and it's hard to focus.

Under him, Lambert is fully hard again and Aiden gives him a quick couple of strokes before draping himself over his chest. He props himself up on his elbow, running his fingers through Lambert's hair and ducking to lick at the spot on his neck. He licks and sucks at the spot, teasing with kisses then running his teeth along it slowly.

And the swell of arousal rises, pushing him forward until he's pushing his luck with every thrust, so overwhelmed he can't hold on any longer.

"Gonna come," he mumbles and Lambert nods and mumbles something inaudible.

"Bite me."

Aiden bites down gently and it's enough to push him over the edge, coming hard still buried deep in Lambert. He tenses up and bites down hard, teeth breaking the skin and sinking in and it's so fucking intense he can't even focus. He doesn't even realize Lambert's coming too until he flops against his come-splattered chest.

For a few, sweet minutes, neither of them says anything and Aiden lifts his head just far enough to catch Lambert's lips in a soft, lazy kiss. It's more desperate breaths than kissing, but Lambert hooks an arm around the back of his neck and Aiden has never been happier.

It seems to take an eternity to come back from and Aiden's still feeling a little breathless when he finally finds the energy to throw himself into the ocean to wash off. It's the same thing he does every time and usually, Lambert goes with him, but this time when he pops his head above water, Lambert isn't in front of him. Aiden turns and finds him sitting at the edge of the rocks with his neck craned, looking at his reflection in the water. Aiden grins to himself and swims over, careful not to disturb Lambert's reflection.

From here he can see how he traces his fingers along the edge of the bite mark, still lightly bleeding, and stares at it in awe.

"Something wrong?" Aiden asks.

"No. Never thought I'd ever-" he cuts himself off with a huff and turns away, but Aiden reaches up and runs a hand down his arm.

"Hey," he says, "I am damn lucky to have you." Lambert looks down at him with the hint of a smile in his eyes and Aiden pushes himself up but finds himself held down.

"Can I bite you?" Lambert asks, one hand on Aiden's shoulder. "So you don't forget." Aiden laughs out loud, reaching an arm up to pull Lambert down into a quick kiss.

"I will never forget," he whispers, "but I'd be happy to have your mark to prove it."

#aiden x lambert #lambden #courting season #spicy #the witcher #Anonymous #mermay 2021 #rex writes

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jimlingss · 4 years ago

Text

Black Waltz [2/2]

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 [Finale]

➜ Words: 13.6k

➜ Genres: 70% Fluff, 30% Angst, Butler!AU

➜ Summary: When your parents pass away in an accident, a family secret is revealed. The only person you can trust and rely on is your personal butler, Kim Taehyung.

The train whistles. A moment later, the wheels are rolling against the steel rails. It starts slow, a gradual chug like a meander through the street that builds up and races past the town. You rest your throbbing head against your propped up hand, enduring the nauseating nature of the train. Each breath you take is shallow and you feel your skin warm underneath the pads of your fingers. At the same time, it feels cold and the blanket does little to help. You haven’t eaten much, not like you could even stomach it now. Taehyung keeps fretting over you — you can tell with the way he glances at you every so often, how he takes your suitcase from your hands, how he asks if you would like tea. You’re too weak to argue with him and insist you’re fine. So you stay quiet, knowing that soon enough, you’ll be home. And you bear it for six hours. “My lady?” Taehyung’s brows furrow and you merely nod as he helps you off the carriage. The coachman is paid and thanked and you’re taking Taehyung’s arm for the walk up the slope to the estate. “When we get home, draw a bath for me, Taehyung.” “Will do. You should rest—” “Y/N!” There’s a shrill shriek of your name that aches your head and you lift your eyes to find your aunt and cousin at the black gates. Aunt Marie grabs fistfuls of her red skirt and stomps over to you. “Where did you go for so long? None of your maids let me inside the house.” “Good,” you exhale and narrow your eyes at the two of them. It takes each of your laboured breaths to speak. “I thought I told you never to step onto the estate again.” “Y/N, please.” Hoseok comes forward. “I have something important to talk to you about.” “Can it wait another day?” You’re about to brush past them, but your aunt doesn’t let you. “Your father would be disappointed in how you treat your only family, Y/N. You’re not a young child who can throw a tantrum anymore, do you understand the consequences of any of your actions? Yet you have the audacity to try to sever our family ties—” “Her ladyship has spoken.” Taehyung steps in front of you, shielding you with his larger body. “If you wish to speak to her, come another day.” Your aunt’s teeth grit and venom-laced words are spat out, “How dare you speak to me this way! You’re a mere butler!” “Stop.” You grab onto Taehyung’s arm, lids becoming heavy as the seconds pass. But most of all, you’re dizzy. It’s hard to keep upright. “Sto..p.” “A guard dog!” There are shouts, but the sounds are intelligible as if they’re farther away from them. As if you’re at the end of a tunnel. Your vision dims, black closing in from all angles to the center of my eyes. The noise of hitting the ground never comes. Taehyung’s caught you in his arms. // When you come to, you’re laying in your bed, dressed in silk sleepwear with the covers wrapped around you. You’re weakened, sweat slipping from your forehead and shivering from chills. “Miss. Arden.” There’s a doctor looking down at you and once Taehyung hears him call you, he rushes to your side. “Miss. Arden? Are you awake?” The old man is noisy and you muster the strength to lift your hand mid-air. Taehyung immediately knows what you want and helps you sit upright. You lean on your weight on him. “What happened?” “You fainted,” he murmurs. “It’s good to see you’re alert.” The doctor smiles and leans down to his briefcase. He must’ve been called by Taehyung. You hear the clacking of bottles. “Luckily, your illness doesn’t seem to be smallpox. Vicious illness that is. Past the age for scarlet fever as well.” You wonder if you’ll die. You know your health has never been the greatest. “Is it measles?” He shakes his head, continuing to ruffle through his belongings. “Fortunately, you don’t have a single rash which tells me it’s not one of the sicknesses out there. Ah! Found it.” Your eyes dart to how he places a bottle on your bedside table and he closes up the latches on his suitcase. The doctor then takes a seat on the chair beside your bed. “Can I ask if you’ve been...anxious recently, Miss. Arden?” “Why?” “I suspect the symptoms are arising from your mind.” Your brows furrow. “You think I am putting on an act and falsifying my condition?” “Not quite.” The old man smiles. “I believe the anxiousness and stress from your environment is most likely worsening your naturally weak constitution. Many of my fellow physicians don’t believe that such physical ailments can arise by the mental, but I for one…” He taps his temple. “...think the mind can be quite powerful.” The doctor takes his suitcase. “I have given you medicine to help with the dizziness and your fever, but you must rest, Miss. Arden. If you wish to live a long life to be as old as I am, you must rest, rest, and rest. And perhaps….have a change of scene.” He offers a kind smile, but before he can leave, you call out to him. “Please keep this a secret. Unless you want to bear the consequences.” He nods, still with a warm expression. “I understand.” The doctor leaves and for once, Taehyung doesn’t see him out. He stays right beside you and the room simmers into a quietness. After a beat, you’re moving, shifting the sheets from your body. But he stops you, placing a hand over your hand. “Where do you think you’re going?” “My aunt and cousin were here, weren’t they? Something may have happened while I was gone. I should at least write a letter to Min Yoongi and find out if the company—” “Didn’t you hear what the doctor said? You need rest.” “He was speaking nonsense. There’s no illness that comes from the mind, Taehyung.” “He’s one of the best doctors in Trulia,” he deadpans, guiding you down against your will. Taehyung pulls the blankets up to your chin. “So stop being stubborn and listen to him. Nothing will happen if you rest.” You’re too weak to get up on your own and struggling to only make you more weary. You resort to scoffing at him, eyes pointed in a glare. “You’re stepping over the line, Kim Taehyung. You are supposed to obey my every word.” “Then punish me.” You huff out at his challenge. He wants to act like you won’t. But Taehyung can be even more willful than you and he wins when your eyes start to droop. You hear him tell you to ‘sleep’ and like magic, you fall into a deep slumber. ... Unbeknownst to the two of you, Jane is creeping outside the room behind an ornate vase, having eavesdropped on the conversation through the crack of the door. That night, when not a soul is in the corridor, the girl slips from her room and creeps out of the manor. Her steps quicken down the path leading to the black gates, holding a flickering oil lamp in hand to illuminate the way. There, outside of the bars separating the world from this estate, is your aunt shrouded in the darkness. “She’s ill. The doctor said the sickness is from her mind.” The thin lips of the older woman curls and she snickers before it breaks into a full laugh. “It won’t be long before she’s sent to a madhouse then.” She looks at the maid. “Very good. You’ll be greatly rewarded for this.” “Thank you, madam.” // For the coming days, Taehyung doesn’t allow you out of bed except in times for a bath. If it were anyone else, you’d reprimand them. You hate feeling like a child. You despise being coddled like one. But Taehyung is Taehyung and even he knows that you won’t go against him for long. Sometimes you wonder who the real master and servant is. “The cook made you porridge. I told them not to add in any thyme. If you don’t want it, I’ll ask them for something else.” “It’s fine.” You know Taehyung won’t leave until he sees you eat, so leaning on the headboard, you deadpan to him, “Feed me.” The corner of his mouth tugs. “If you insist.” He holds the silver bowl, lightly blowing over the spoonful before it carefully meets your lips. “It’s bland.” “Too much seasoning will upset your stomach and you won’t be able to take your medicine.” “I want that doctor dead.” Taehyung smiles. “If that’s what you’d like, mistress.” He blows over another dreadful spoonful and extends his arm. Your lips part to eat and he watches you with a tender expression. “The household funds need to be looked at.” “I’ll take care of it tonight.” He feeds you another spoon. You swallow it gingerly. “The company?” “I sent a letter to Mr. Min. Your cousin’s taken bigger means to try and take over, but as you let Mr. Min deal with it as he chooses, your cousin went away after a police report was made. It’s been quiet for the past few days.” “He’ll be back,” you sigh when the spoon is at your mouth, but Taehyung doesn’t give up, so you part your lips. He makes sure to carefully wipe the corner of your mouth with his thumb. “And my aunt?” “She hasn’t returned. I’ll send her away if she does.” “I need to speak to Detective Jeon.” “Then I’ll set up a meeting in the week.” Once you’ve finish the porridge, Taehyung smiles and leans in close to briefly press the back of his hand to your forehead. “What would I do without you, Taehyung?” you murmur, gazing at him. “Nothing would change. I’d find you anyhow,” he says. “Now sleep.” You nod and lay back down with your stomach warm and full. Your lashes flutter shut and Taehyung slips out with the tray in hand. Taehyung knows you’ve gotten better. But he needs to keep you from being upset, from having to lash out. And he’ll do whatever it takes. After all, he doesn’t know how much longer your body or mind will be able to take it. “B-Butler Kim?” He’s stopped in the middle of the hall as Rose rushes to him. He’s always been able to pick her out in the house. Rose is the shortest and youngest, but also the one who tries her hardest — you weren’t wrong in choosing her. “What’s the matter?” The young girl’s voice drops into a whisper. “There’s a man at the front gates…” He nods, posture straightening, steps becoming firm. The end of his tailcoat slices through the air in his strides and he makes it to the kitchen before walking right out of the manor to the front. There, Jimin and another maid are at a loss of what to do. But the moment they see Taehyung, there’s almost an audible sigh of relief. “Butler Kim!” Your uncle is on the other side of the gate, exasperated. “There you are! Tell these servants to let me in! I only want to see my poor, sick niece!” Taehyung moves his head towards the pair and they take the sign to scurry away while they have the chance. He opens the latches of the gate and the older man’s eyes light up. But instead of being let in, Taehyung slips out. “My apologies, her ladyship isn’t taking guests at the moment.” “Guests?!” Seokjin is entirely offended. “I am her only uncle!” “If there is any message you would like to relay, then please let me know.” “No, I must see her in person.” He shakes his head adamantly and then dabs the area underneath his eyes with his hand. “Poor, poor, Y/N. I hurried here the moment I heard she was sick. I am the only uncle she has and she is my only niece. Who else will care for her but I?” Taehyung’s arms are placed behind his back. No one sees the way his white gloved hands curl into tight fists. Yet he maintains a bright smile. “I’ll let her ladyship know that you send your best wishes then. Although...I’m afraid she may not be able to take your words to heart after you sent a man to try to kill her.” Seokjin’s eyes widen in shock. His mouth drops. He staggers back. Taehyung’s height towers over him, his smile frightening. “Y-You!” Your uncle flounders. “You have no proof!” “But there are witnesses,” Taehyung bluffs with an unconcerned hum. “I’m sure that man would tell you, right? I may have thrown him off the train, but I believe he is still alive and unfortunately, only severely harmed. But I must say, sir, that you chose the wrong person. He confessed it was you quite easily. Who knows what he would say to policemen.” The older man is flabbergasted, lurching backwards away from Taehyung as if he’s a monster. Seokjin almost falls down, but grips the brick half-wall as leverage. “The only reason you have yet to be arrested is due to her ladyship’s utmost compassion. But I must say her tolerance is wearing thin and mine,” Taehyung chimes, “no longer exists!” “T-T-T-This is outrageous! Outrageous, I say!” Seokjin frantically turns around and hobbles away. He glances over his shoulder and flinches when Taehyung waves. Taehyung then turns on his heel and closes the gate, strolling back into the manor. For some reason, he doesn’t think he’ll see your uncle for a while. // The next day, there’s a knock at your door while you’re seated at your round table, out of bed against the doctor’s orders and much to Taehyung’s dismay. “Come in.” A certain maid peeks her head inside. “My lady.” “Jane.” You perk with a smile. “What is it?” She grins and enters. “I wanted to ask if you’d like anything.” “I’m fine, thank you. On the contrary, how are you? Is everyone in this house treating you well?” “Y-Yes.” She dips. “I’m doing well, my lady. Everyone treats me fairly.” “Good.” You look at her carefully through sharpened eyes. “If I may comment…” “Yes?” “You are quite pretty,” you praise and Jane blushes with a modest ‘thank you’. “It’s not often I have someone so attentive by my side, good work. I’ll call on you when I need you.” “Yes, my lady.” Jane smiles and leaves. On her way out, she passes by a familiar doe-eyed man beside Butler Kim in the hall. Yet neither man speaks a single word and as she turns the corner, pressing herself to the wall, the door slams shut. There’s not even a muffle or sound. She curses underneath her breath and leaves before someone catches her. “I’m sorry to hear you haven’t been well, Miss Y/N.” Detective Jeon approaches you, taking off his top hat. “Yes, well, I’ve been getting better.” You look over at your butler who already has his brows knitted together seeing you up. Your expression warms. “Will you get Detective Jeon and I some tea, Taehyung?” He bows with a hand over his chest. “Right away, mistress.” Taehyung swiftly leaves as Detective Jeon takes a seat across from you, placing his briefcase down. “I received your letter. I’m sorry to hear Arthur Kahl wasn’t who you were looking for.” “What’s done is done. Do you have anything new?” “Unfortunately I don’t have any leads at the moment. I’m still in the process of tracing your parents’ history and seeing if there is anything unusual.” �� “If you ever need something, let me know. I am still willing to pay a generous sum for your services.” He nods and his doe eyes pin onto you as he leans back into the chair. “I must say there is one thing I am curious about.” “What is it?” “If I may pry…” He folds his hands together, brown irises sparkling. “What is your relationship with Butler Kim?” Your brow cocks. “He’s my most trusted confidant.” The answer comes to mind without trouble. Taehyung is the only person you can rely on. The person you come to if you have trouble. The person who you know will always be there. He is your person. “Is that all?” You don’t know where he’s trying to get at and your eyes narrow. “Why are you asking?” The corner of Detective Jeon’s lip curls, melting into a pleasant expression and overly boyish smile. “It’s in a detective’s nature to be curious. It’s the reason I’m good at my job, Miss. Y/N. I just find it unusual considering butlers and mistresses aren’t as close as you two are.” Your face remains stoic. “What are you implying?” “You probably know perfectly what I’m implying.” With the vase of flowers set on the table, he leans over to fiddle with a petal. Detective Jeon doesn’t seem the kind to double-cross you, or at least he would never risk his professional name to spread rumours about your private affairs. He seems to be genuinely curious, so you entertain him. “Since my parents' abrupt passing, I’ve succeeded my father’s position and become the head of the Arden house. I’ve also become the target of countless.” “With power comes unwanted attention,” he chimes as if he’s seen it many times. “People are trying to kill me, use me, dispose of me every second of each hour. I won’t endanger anyone unnecessarily. I have to look further than such frivolous emotions.” Detective Jeon lets go of the flower petal, appearing more amused than before. “Funny. He said something quite similar.” You frown, not sure what he’s talking about. “Did he also tell you to get out and stop poking your nose into things you’re not getting paid for?” The man laughs. “Will do.” He takes his suitcase, tips his hat as a goodbye and opens the door. He passes by the man that the pair of you were just talking about, and grins. “Looks like I won’t be needing that tea, Butler Kim. I’ll come back when I have new information to share. Until then…” Detective Jeon strolls down the corridor and Taehyung looks at you. “That was quick.” “Never mind him.” You beckon your butler over with a single gesture. “Taehyung.” “Yes?” “I’m hungry.” He smiles. “What would you like to have, my lady?” // The Arden manor is distinct. Not just because of its sheer size and that it sits on a stretch of green behind black gates. Or that it’s hidden on an uphill climb away from the bustle of the city. The roof is steeply-pitched, arches pointed and the front-facing gables are laden with a wooden trim. Each part of the house’s exterior is narrow with sharp edges. It was built many years ago, yet it looks like it’ll be decades before it falls apart. Rather, much of the colour has washed away from the stone. The interior is no different, frequently decorated in dark oak or shades of maroon, from the carpet to the walls. Sunlight does little and candlelight only casts more shadows from the flickering flame. The only real colour on the estate is the gardens outside. “Jimin!” The gardener looks up, holding shears in hand. “What are you doing here, Rose?” Said girl is precariously balancing a silver tray in hand, but she still manages to grin. “I’m bringing tea to her ladyship. I just thought I’d take the path outside. What flowers are you trimming?” “Oh just pruning the rose bushes of the late madam’s.” His expression softens. “Lady Y/N doesn’t seem to care much for it, but that doesn’t mean I can let it become messy. This is the least I can do.” The twelve year old admires the older man’s earnest personality. Jimin seems to genuinely like flowers and tending to them. “When will they bloom?” “Surely in the next few weeks and when they do, it’ll look beautiful.” She can imagine it already. “Would you like me to bring a snack for you later?” Jimin’s eyes become enlarged in delight. “Really?” Rose nods with an enormous smile. “There’s leftover bread and cheese in the kitchen.” “I...I couldn’t. Isn’t that for her ladyship?” “She wouldn’t mind,” she insists. At the Arden estate, she’s eaten better than she ever did back at the orphanage. Butler Kim’s quite kind as well. He doesn’t mind what’s taken from the kitchen as long as there’s enough for you which everyone makes sure there always is. “Well alright then.” The gardener eases. “But you shouldn’t leave her waiting for too long!” “Right!” She hurries along before the tea gets cold. “I’ll come back later!” Jimin waves and Rose enters through the other door, up the stairs, and down the corridor. She almost spills the teacup at one point as it’s rattling against the tray, but she finds her balance and knocks. “Come in.” The door opens and you look up from your desk. The phonograph in the corner of the room is playing a muffled symphony of violins and trumpets. It sounds beautiful, an entrancing melody that makes her stuck in her spot too long before she snaps out of it. Rose ducks her head and comes over. “Butler Kim told me it’s time for your afternoon tea.” “He really is bothersome,” you sigh, putting down the document. It hasn’t even been ten minutes since you entered the study. You’re not sure what the point of trying to work is when he’s constantly distracting you with excuses of teatime or insisting it’s time for a walk. The young girl smiles. “Butler Kim just cares a lot, my lady.” “I know.” She places the porcelain teacup down, and her hand is shaky as she tries to pour the tea. It splashes on the outside saucer and she flinches, but you don’t say anything. “Do you like it? The music.” “It’s nice.” She admits, “I never got to listen to music much before.” “You can come in any time to listen if you’d like.” At your offer, Roses eyes become rounded and your mouth tugs. “If all your duties are done, that is.” “T-Thank you! I will!” You sip on your tea while your eyes flicker down to your paper. Then you set the cup down and direct your attention to the girl. “Do you know how to read and write, Rose?” Her cheeks burn in embarrassment as she shakes her head. “I know the letters but that’s all. Even then, it takes me a long time.” “Bring that chair over then.” The young maid is surprised, but follows your instructions, dragging the chair beside you. You smile at her, not wanting to admit that it is nice to take a break. Or that it’s pleasant to help someone as well. “Write out what letters you know for me.” She nods and awkwardly grips the fountain pen. “You’re missing a stroke. Right there.” “Right here?” “That’s right. There. You have it.” A grin spreads into her face. “Can you teach me how to write your name?” “Mine?” Your brows lift yet she bobs her head twice. You’re not sure how much time passes, how long the two of you are wrapped up, cowering over the desk with pens and papers as the handles of the clock ticks away. But then Taehyung’s peeking in through the gap of the door with a softened expression and he reluctantly knocks. “My lady,” he interrupts. “Lawyer Kim is here.” “Let him in.” You turn to the twelve year old girl who’s visibly disheartened and your hand strokes the top of her head gently. “If you have some time, then practice. Next time I’ll teach you how to write your own name and maybe we can read a book together?” “Next time?” She’s easy to read. You can see the way excitement washes over her, how she lights up as you nod and you watch her in endearment as she scurries away with the promise. // Each morning the mail is handed to Taehyung by one of the maids and he sets it on your bedside for you to go through. But today as he’s walking to your room and shuffles through them, he sees a fascinating letter from a man named Mr. Mark Carter. His brow quirks and he opens it. It’s not uncommon to go through your letters considering he writes most of your replies these past few days. But instead of being business related— To my dearest, Arden Y/N, My thoughts have been full of you in the past days. You are as beautiful… Taehyung rips the page before any more is read. There’s no need for you to waste your time. “Taehyung.” You call from the corner as he enters and he promptly places the letters down. He pockets the shreds of the love letter and attends to you. Taehyung helps you get dressed in front of the mirrors, his long fingers nimbly tying your corset before he’s draping the champagne gown over your frame. “You really shouldn’t be out of bed.” “It’s been two weeks since we came home, Taehyung. Do you expect me to stay bedridden forever?” “I could handle all of your affairs for you.” “I know.” You turn around to face him. “But I don’t want you to.” “I wouldn’t want you to faint again.” “I won’t,” you tell him with a mischievous glint in your eyes. “And even if I did, you’d be there to catch me, no?” Taehyung swallows hard and you freeze when he suddenly reaches out. His arm extends and he gingerly tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. Taehyung gazes at you tenderly. It’s much too intimate. “What would be the point if I don’t see you into your old age?” The pad of his thumb draws down your jaw before he lets go. You smile softly, skin tingling from his affectionate touch. “Would you still be attending to me if I were in my old age?” “Of course I would be.” “Wouldn’t you want to be married at some point, Taehyung?” You move past him to the vanity, taking your brush through your hair. He watches you for a moment before he approaches and steals the brush from your hand. He proceeds to your hair gently, the way he knows you like it best. “Who would I be married to?” “I could find you a good match.” “And risk not being there when you might need me?” You look at his reflection. “Then how long do you plan to be beside me then?” “Always,” he answers. Taehyung’s gaze is fixed onto yours through the mirror, his eyes softened, hands grasping the strands of your hair. Your breath hitches in your throat as something squeezes inside your chest. You swallow hard. “Taehyung.” The corner of his mouth curls into a sly smile. “Hmm?” “What’s…” He’s such a handful sometimes, but you know to him you’re two handfuls. “….that noise outside?” “I think that’s your cousin crying.” “And why is he crying?” “He wants to meet with you. Don’t worry. It’s handled. He tried to climb the gate but Jimin used his garden rake to push him off.” You sigh, pitching the bridge of your nose. “Just let him in. I’ll see him.” It’s easy to tell that Taehyung is reluctant and even surprised at your defeated response. But unlike your uncle and aunt who have some shame, you’re sure Hoseok would be there day and night sobbing on the ground. There wouldn’t be any good done if outsiders start to take notice. You leave to the parlor to have your morning cup of tea and surely enough, Hoseok runs in while panting. You sort of wish he would’ve knocked over the statue by the archway. That way, you could make him compensate you with his life’s fortune. It would be a funny story to tell in the future, but alas. “Y/N! Finally! F-Finally! Those servants of yours...they almost killed me!” “They were following my instructions.” He’s dejected and plops down on the sofa, frantically shaking his head. “I know that Uncle Seokjin, my mother and you aren’t on good terms, but please hear me out.” The taste of earl grey lingers on your palette. “You want to take over the company.” Hoseok’s spine straightens. “Y/N, Uncle Eugene would’ve wanted someone in the family to take over. I don’t understand how an outsider could be the head of the company!” “Don’t bring my father into this,” you snap. It’s easier to be direct with your cousin since he’s younger than you are. The idea of disrespect doesn’t have to play a big role in your confrontation. “He’s dead. It doesn’t matter what he wants now. What are your qualifications?” “What?” “How are you deserving of the job? How do you expect to run an entire company? What have you ever done in your life that you would be able to do those things?” you question with your arms crossed. Hoseok opens his mouth and then shuts it. He knows it himself. The fact of the matter is— “You’ve accomplished nothing. If you want the job so much, then interview for it and start at the bottom and learn.” Hoseok stands up abruptly. “That’s not what Uncle Eugene would’ve wanted—!” You’re forced to your feet. “Don’t speak about my father!” “But—!” You grip your temples that’s beginning to throb. Your head aches and you’re becoming dizzy. Taehyung immediately notices and comes to your side, but you wave him off. “Bring him out.” Hoseok is escorted by Taehyung. The former sighs lowly and walks away without putting much of a fight. Dragging his legs. Shoulders slugging. It’s not like you wanted it to be like this. Your idea of family was never an image of distrust or exhaustion. But this is what you were born into. Taehyung comes back after he’s left. He searches your expression sternly and shoulders your weight when you lean on him. “This isn’t good. You should rest.” “I know.” But as you take his arm, more noises come from the other room. In particular, it’s a familiar voice that can only belong to— “Y/N!” Aunt Marie stomps inside with Jane trailing behind her with a distressed expression. “What is the meaning of this?” Jane winces at your tone. “I thought...I thought since you let in—” “I heard you were ill,” your Aunt cuts her off, holding her head high. She must’ve run into Hoseok outside, but she makes no mention of it. He must’ve ignored her. “It was only right that I come see if the rumours are true for myself.” “Well you’ve seen me, now you can leave. I’m not taking guests at the moment.” Her mouth opens, but Taehyung’s eyes fix on her, holding an intense stare. “If you’ll excuse us. Jane, please lead out Mrs. Arden immediately.” “R-Right away, Butler Kim.” The maid bows her head and your aunt scoffs, not bothering to follow you. She stays in her spot, insisting on keeping an utterly offended expression. The room empties. “That dog of hers watches her too closely.” “Don’t worry madam,” Jane quietly whispers with a growing smirk. “He won’t be able to save her this time.” The older woman snorts. “You remember what I told you?” “Of course. They won’t see it coming.” She hums a low note. “Be careful. That guard dog is perceptive.” // The kitchen is filled with a flavorsome aroma, but it’s a frenzy as the grandfather clock chimes throughout the manor. The cook is rushing all over the kitchen with the kitchen maid, throwing in the potatoes and finishing the beef stew. Even Jane is beginning to become nervous as she watches them. That damn son of a bitch butler won’t be happy if your dinner is delayed a second and she still has to put it in. �� There can’t be any more delay. “Here it is! Finally, done!” The cook ladles the stew from the pot into the bowl and Jane finally moves before another maid can. “I’ll take it up for her ladyship,” she loudly volunteers. “Go quickly!” “Wait! I have to add the parsley,” the kitchen maid shouts. In the disorder, no one notices how Jane looks both ways and slips a vial out from her apron pocket. It’s uncapped and the clear liquid poured in, dissolving right into the broth. But by then, the kitchen maid is already pushing her aside to add in the parsley. “There we go.” Jane disguises her smirk and swiftly takes the tray. She begins to head down the corridor. But as she turns the corner, she nearly collides with Butler Kim. Immediately, the maid dips her head with an apology and he takes the tray from her. “There it is. What took so long?” “The cook had trouble.” Butler Kim turns and strides down the hall. The corner of her mouth pulls. Jane doesn’t notice how Taehyung looks down into the bowl for a moment. With the deed finally done, she makes her way to the small dining room next to the pantry meant for the workers to gather and eat. It’s perfect. It won’t be long now until things start to happen and she gets her reward. She smiles to herself before she’s abruptly interrupted— “Did something good happen, Jane?” The maid doesn’t know where the voice is coming from until she looks down and sees the twelve year old who she doesn’t even remember the name of. But looking at her big eyes and hearing her nosy question annoys her. Jane snaps, “It’s none of your business.” The young girl flinches and quiets. What Jane doesn’t expect is how minutes later, Butler Kim returns with the tray in hand and the food untouched. The colour immediately drains from her face. “Is there something wrong?” The cook bumbles over in alarm. “Her ladyship isn’t hungry,” he informs and Jane breathes a sigh of relief, but is still disappointed. She curses inside her head. “I see.” The cook sighs. “What a shame, it was the first time I tried to make this kind of stew. I thought I would be able to get her ladyship’s opinion.” “It would be a waste to dispose of it then.” Butler Kim smiles. “Everyone come give it a try.” Several turn their heads at one another, visibly confused at his unexpected offer but they happily follow along with his instructions. The kitchen maid is eager, anticipating their responses, and spoons are quickly passed around. But Jane stays frozen on her spot and the butler’s sharp eyes quickly take notice. “Is there something wrong?” “I...I don’t think I’ll eat, sir.” “Why not?” “I’m not...feeling well. My apologies. I’ll retire to the quarters—” “Surely a spoonful wouldn’t hurt.” Taehyung stops Jane before she can move to the doorway. Everyone’s eyes are pinned on them and she’s suddenly presented with a wooden spoon and a bright smile. “Don’t you want to give your thoughts to the cook so he may improve his dishes to her ladyship?” “I—” “It’s a part of your duties to look after her ladyship, is it not? That includes testing her food.” “Well—” Taehyung scoops a spoonful of the stew’s broth and it’s forcibly brought to her mouth. “There’s no reason why you should refuse.” “Stop—wait! NO!” Her arm comes out to bat at it away from her. “It’s poisoned!” The spoon clatters on the ground and the bowl shortly follows. It shatters, shards of porcelain spraying across the floor and the yellow liquid splattering against the wall. There are gasps and Jane’s breath heaves in and out of her chest. Sweat is gathered at her hairline and she feels the scrutinizing eyes of the entire household pinned on her. Butler Kim cocks his brow. “How do you know that?” “I...I…” Jane fumbles with her words, heat rising in her face, colour fading from her lips. “This is actually a new bowl from the pot.” The corner of Taehyung’s mouth curls. “I would never offer what was supposed to be her ladyship’s to anyone else. So why do you say it’s poisoned?” She opens her mouth, incoherent words stuttering out, but as she turns her head, searching for an explanation, some sort of excuse, her eyes meet Rose’s. Jane’s arm instantly extends and she points at the twelve year old. “I saw her put something suspicious into her ladyship’s food! I didn’t know if I saw it correctly, so I didn’t want to say anything. I-I didn’t know she could be capable of doing such a thing….” “What?” Rose’s eyes enlarge, tears gathering at her lashes. “No! I didn’t!” “Liar!” Jane screams at her, height looming over the girl. “How could you deny it in front of Butler Kim! Do you have no morals?!” “Please.” Rose looks at her and then him. “I didn’t do anything like that! Please believe me!” “What is all this noise?” The shrill cries are intercepted by you entering the room. Jane dips her head as Rose looks to you with pleading eyes. The others ease, knowing you’re here. Taehyung comes beside you, arm stretched in case you step onto the glass. “One of the maids just admitted something no one else knew.” “I didn’t do it,” Rose whimpers. You look around the room and sigh tiredly. You pitch the bridge of your nose and then wave him off. “Leave it be. Surely it’s a misunderstanding.” “Understood.” Taehyung puts his hand over his chest and bows. “I’m feeling tired. Bring me to my room, Taehyung.” He nods and offers you his arm. Two maids move to clean up the mess as Rose tries to reason with others. Jimin comes to her side, but Jane continues to glare at the young girl. There’s sweat built at Jane’s hairline and her heart is lodged in her throat. It was close. Too close. // For the next few days, you’re afraid Taehyung is becoming more distrustful than you are. Much to your dismay, he has a bite of your food and a sip of your tea before you get the chance to each time. It’s not as cute as when he did it as a kid — back when he was just trying to get a taste of what he could. Now he’s doing it because he’s overly suspicious. The last thing you want is for him to become your taster and does in fact become poisoned. There’s not much of a point if he dies and you’re still alive. But once you make your complaint, he resorts to making all of your food for you, not allowing a single person in the kitchen or to touch your dish. You don’t want to tell him that his cooking is more delicious than the cook’s for fear he’ll continue and overwork himself to death. “You’re really such a handful,” you mutter, looking up at him. Taehyung’s brow lifts, wondering where that was coming from. The pair of you were burning the midnight oil as you were looking over this month’s household expenses and what is left of your personal wealth. He didn’t want you to be here doing work, yet couldn’t protest after your insistence. But in truth, you can’t look over it properly with your mind preoccupied. You hate seeing Taehyung this way — excessively anxious, on guard, needlessly gluing himself to your side whenever he can. It’s enough that you’re already like that. But you suppose that’s the humorous part. He doesn’t like it when you’re like this either. You feel like this house is making you both lose your minds. “Taehyung.” “Yes, my lady?” You weakly wave him over. “Carry me to bed. I’m tired.” “Understood.” Taehyung leans down and collects you in his arms, an arm beneath your knees and the other around your backside. You lean on his shoulder with your arms looped around his neck, nestling close to him. He walks to the door, briefly opens it and strides down the hall that’s without a maid or servant in sight. “How long do you think this will last, Taehyung?” “What do you mean?” “Us. Being so afraid and anxious.” You wonder how long you’ll have to be fighting against your relatives and outsiders, if you’ll ever be left alone, if that day will ever come. “Even if I find my older sister or brother, then what?” “You don’t need to be anxious. I’m here.” The corner of your lips softly tug and you look up at him through your lashes. Taehyung’s brown irises meet yours in the warm candlelight lamps on the walls. “And let you bear all of my hardships? How could I let that happen?” “Then don’t bear it all alone.” The timbre of voice is husky. “You can rely on me too.” “I already do. More than you know.” If you had no one to truly trust, you would’ve been lost long ago. Taehyung is your saviour. “You don’t need to worry about what happens afterwards. I’ll go where you go.” “And if I have no more wealth to my name and I’m unable to pay you?” “You don’t need to pay me a single cent for me to stay by your side.” Your gazes meet and his steps slow. It’s much too intimate, and you notice the way his eyes flicker to lips. For a moment it feels like the distance is closing between you and you brace yourself as a kind of sweet anxiousness is sewn inside your chest. But you aren’t afraid. Then, as your lashes flutter….Taehyung turns away. His Adam’s apple bobs inside his throat. Nothing is spoken as the door to your bedroom is opened and closed, and he lays you down onto the bed. “If there’s nothing more you need from me, then rest well, my lady.” “Taehyung.” “Yes?” Your irises connect. There’s pause. A tenseness to the air. But then you wave him away. “Never mind. Good night.” The lights are blown and he leaves while you tug the covers to your chin for warmth. You’re unaware of how once the door shuts, Taehyung’s back presses against the surface. His eyes close tight and the hands that held you tenderly crumple into fists. He almost allowed his own desires to overcome his duties to you. // The following evening, Rose sits alone in her small room and sighs to herself. She’s happy that she was brought here to work on the estate. It’s all she could’ve ever wished for — a kind mistress to work for, friends she never knew she’d make, and being able to sleep comfortably with a full stomach. But she didn’t know it could also be this hard. She really didn’t try to harm you. Why would she when all you’ve been to her is generous and all she waits for are the hours when she’s allowed to sit beside you and taught how to read and write. But she can tell some of the other girls don’t believe her. She isn’t sure what to say or do to clear her name. Rose stumbles to her wardrobe and reaches towards the back. Hidden behind a lilac handkerchief is a golden pocket watch. Her thumb runs along the shiny surface and she exhales. “What should I do, mom?” The twelve year old doesn’t see the older girl in the hall, chewing on the nail of her thumb, anxious of what to do and how to gain back your favour. And Jane’s eye incidentally turns towards the gap of Rose’s door as she passes. “What are you doing?” The door slams against the walls and Rose jolts, startled. Jane’s eyes dart to the pocket watch. “What is that?” “It’s nothing!” Rose’s arms jerk behind her back, but it’s too late. The older girl stomps towards her and rips her arm back. She cries out and Jane snatches the golden watch from her grasps. “You stole this, didn’t you!” “No! Give it back!” “Then how do you have something so expensive?! You stole it from her ladyship!” “I didn’t!” “Liar. There’s no way you would be able to afford something like this. Your hands are sticky, aren’t they?” A smirk spreads into her cheek. This is it. The way she can gain your trust again. “You’re going to get thrown out tonight on my watch.” Rose cries as she’s dragged down the hall. She struggles but it’s futile against the older’s strength. Another girl intercepts, asking what’s going on, but Jane pushes them aside. She’s taken down the corridor, all the way to the study. “Say goodbye to your job, little girl,” Jane mocks and then knocks on the door. It opens it at your command and Taehyung immediately steps forward the moment he sees Jane yanking Rose’s arm and the latter sobbing. “What is the meaning of this?” Jane lets go of the twelve year old who has streams of tears staining her cheeks and steps forward. She allows the pocket watch to drop in her hand, holding it by the chain. It catches the light and looks like it glows. “My lady, I just caught this maid stealing from you. I had to report it immediately.” Upon seeing the pocket watch, you teeter to a stand. The chair screeches against the floorboards. “Bring it here.” Taehyung takes it and hands it to you. It’s a perfectly round contraption, the cover golden, reflecting against the candlelight. But it’s without any engravings, designs or even ridges on the surface. You flip it open to find handles ticking away as seconds and minutes pass. Strangely, on the inside, opposite of the clock is a picture of a beautiful woman you don’t recognize. Most of all, you recognize the surface is worn and there are a few scratches. Taehyung watches you. Your voice is kept quiet, a mere breath that releases from your lips— “Where did you get this?” Jane opens her mouth but your glare flickers to her and the words die on her tongue. Rose is the one who pipes up, hands scrunched into her dress’ skirt, head ducked down. “It...it was my mother’s.” “I have a pocket watch like this,” you tell her, rounding the desk and flipping the watch in your hand. “I can tell this is from my father’s company too. At least with the way the handles are crafted and the numbers are written. My father always liked his watches a certain way.” You continue, “He also never made many golden pocket watches. Certainly not ones without any engravings. It’s much like mine.” A rush of air escapes Jane’s nose. The corner of her eye moves to the twelve year old who’s quivering in her spot. She is done for. You step forward, inhaling a breath. “But my pocket watch is cracked.” Jane’s breath instantly hitches in her throat. Your eyes are pinned on Rose’s face. “I sent Taehyung to fix it for me months ago.” The pocket watch is not a copy, but a sister to yours. “Is this really your mother’s?” Rose nods with a sniffle, unable to understand where this was going. Taehyung comes beside you, having already caught on to your suspicions. And you lean on him, swallowing hard. “Then if that’s true….you may be the one I’m looking for. You might be my sister.” “S-Sister?” Rose’s eyes grow wide and a tear hanging off her lash rolls down her cheek. “I….have family?” It’s all lining up inside your mind and your brows knit together, but you don’t allow it to sink in. Not when you notice Jane’s mouth dropping, how she takes a step back. “Where do you think you’re going?” you deadpan, turning your head to the older maid and she flinches. “My lady—” “You’re fired. Pack your bags. The carriage will take you away.” Your voice drops an octave. “And don’t think of leaving to tell my aunt what you heard here tonight.” “My lady!” Colour drains from her face. “I...I don’t know what you’re talking about!” “Do you really think I wouldn’t know about you poisoning my food?” Jane careens backwards while you take a step forward. “I was framed!” You ignore her plea, eyes narrowing in on her. “Did you really think I would let go of an attempt on my life so easily?” She’s frightened. You can tell by the way she shakes. “Did you think I didn’t know how you would sneak out in the middle of the night to meet my aunt outside those gates?” You loom over the conniving girl. “I knew it from the moment you stepped foot into this house and knocked on my door. Did you take me for being a fool? I let you stay so I could keep my eye on you.” Jane falls down, back against the wall and puts her hands up to protect herself. You knew the entire time. After all, you and Taehyung don’t keep secrets from one another. It’s easy to fit the puzzle pieces together that way. “Taehyung.” His hand is placed over his chest and he bows. “Yes, my lady?” You swivel on your heel. “Take care of her for me, will you?” He smirks. “Of course.” // “The story fits,” Detective Jeon tells you as you flip through the documents detailing his findings. “Her mother grew up in London but went to Middlesborough to find work in 1868. The same summer your father went to Middlesborough for work. She passed away during childbirth. ” You can still remember that summer — you were eight and it was the first time your father left for three whole months. You spent your summer with Taehyung and his father. “How did she end up in Lennox?” “The orphanage she was left at shut down seven years ago and the orphans were brought to other orphanages in Trulia. In this case, it was St. Andale’s.” Your father must’ve found out, maybe through a letter the woman sent, perhaps someone told him. But it doesn’t matter. It’s enough to explain why he would donate so much to the orphanage and how she has a twin pocket watch to yours. You wonder if your mother knew. If she did, she probably wouldn’t have said anything. It’s not like your father tried to bring her home either. Maybe that’s the reason he left everything to her, maybe he felt a sense of guilt and this is his way of repenting and making up for the neglect. “What do you plan to do now,” Detective Jeon asks. You turn your head to him. “Do you think I’m going to kill her?” It goes quiet and the corner of your mouth curls. You answer your own question. “No. I won’t.” Perhaps it’s the sympathetic part of you, but she has no part in this. She has no blame. You always imagined your sibling to have lived a happier life than you, blessed with their ignorance, without the burden of status. Yet, there to receive the wealth you have spent so long protecting. Perhaps it was envy and anger that conjured such an image in your head. But you didn’t expect your sibling to be worth feeling sorry for. She and her mother were abandoned, and she’s been without family her entire life. It’s harder this way — you can’t be angry at her. The only person to blame is your father. “I’ll be sending you over a generous sum as promised. Thank you for the work you’ve done.” The detective smiles boyishly and tips his hat. “Any time. My services will always be available whenever you need it, Miss Y/N.” “Hopefully I won’t,” you quip back at him. “I’m quite tired of digging into people’s histories.” “The secrets never end.” Detective Jeon’s doe eyes twinkle and Taehyung sees him out. Once all said and done, silence fills the room and you find yourself once more at a loss of what to do. It’s not like you had a plan to begin with. You merely wanted to find who your brother or sister was and get to them before your relatives could. Back then, you didn’t know if you wanted to try to cut them from the will or give everything to them. And now, you still don’t know. There's a timid knock at the door that interrupts your thoughts and the knob turns. The gap remains small, but you see Rose peeking in. “Is there something the matter?” She wears a nervous expression, gripping fistfuls of her dress and she hesitantly steps inside the room. “I...just wanted to see you.” You’re sure this is as hard for her to get used to as it is for you. She never had a family and you never considered your relatives family. Even when your parents were alive, they were distant. To you, family has always been Taehyung. You never expected you would have a younger sister. “Follow me.” Rose’s head whips up as you brush past her and her steps struggle to keep up as you move down the corridor. You turn the corner, come to the door on the left and enter. “Do you know what room this is?” She’s been in it many times. It’s where she poured tea, where you listened to music and where you taught her reading and writing. “It’s your study…” “No. It’s our father’s study.” The words are odd on your tongue. You’re not sure if you’ll ever get used to it. “He used to work in here whenever he got home from work. If you wanted to look for him, he would be here.” If you shut your eyes, you can still see him behind the desk, never once looking up. Rose steps forward, able to look around more carefully than when she was just a maid. Her eyes trace against the books on the shelves, the clock on the table, the stacked papers and pens. “Is there something you want to know about him?” “Wh..what was he like?” You lean against the wall, humming a low note. “Everyone called him a respectable man. He was good at what he did. He worked hard, so much so that he never ceased his work. But he was an aloof father.” The young girl nods slowly and turns around. “Do you hate me?” You look at your half-sibling, eyes dimmed, expression stoic. There’s no reason you shouldn’t be honest with her. “I did.” She flinches and you look away. “I always imagined I would hate my sibling, but unfortunately, I can’t hate you now that I’ve gotten to know you.” A cold laugh emits from your mouth and never reaches your eyes. “Funny how fate works that way.” You stroll to the fireplace, arms hugging your body. “The same day my parents were buried in the ground was the same day I received the will. It promised all the assets, the wealth, the company to you. Do you know what it means to be the inheritor of the Arden family?” You swivel on your heel, eyes fixed at the twelve year old. “It means people will be coming after you. They’ll speak sweetly, let you hear everything you could ever wish for, and then stab you in the back. Some are more honest than others, but you could potentially fall in love with someone kind and generous, and find out years later it was all a front.” Her eyes grow wide and you continue, “A maid who saved you today could poison you tomorrow. People are greedy and will do anything to get a step up in life. If there’s anything you know best, it’s the pain of being poor, abandoned by everyone and how desperate that could lead someone to be.” “I...I don’t want to inherit anything.” “You have no choice. That’s the way it is.” “Then what can I do?” You inhale a deep breath, not sure how to answer. But then your mind strays to a certain man with dark hair, a warm voice and a lean frame who never fails to be by your side. “You find people you can trust.” “I trust you,” she says within a beat and it startles you. She didn’t blink, didn’t even need a second to think about it. It’s spoken with a kind of sincerity that you aren’t used to from others. “That’s foolish.” If there was anyone she should be afraid of, it was you. She’s the black sheep, the illegitimate child, the one who stands in the way of you gaining everything. There are numerous reasons why you should get rid of her and no reason why she should trust you. Yet— “I don’t think so.” Her gaze is shy but earnest. “You treated me well from the beginning before...all of this.” “That’s precisely why,” you point out in a cold tone. “I didn’t know who you were. I could just as easily turn my back on you.” Still, Rose gingerly smiles. Her eyes crinkle and her cheeks puff out. “I have a feeling that won’t happen.” Your stoic expression wanes away into guilt. She’s naive. But you wonder if it’s such a terrible thing that her world is so rose-coloured when you know what it’s like for everything to have turned gray. // Without needing to look up, you can tell Taehyung entered the room. Who else would have permission to come and go without knocking than him, and the way he shuts the door is always soft, his steps even quieter. Your ears are always listening for those small noises. “Where did you go?” “I went to pick up the pocket watch from the repair shop. They sent notice that I could come get it.” “This late at night?” “Were you waiting for me?” You can hear the sly smile on Taehyung’s lips and when eyes flicker up towards him, you’re not wrong. “No.” It’s a lie and by the look on his face, he knows it too. “You’re the one who said you would always be by my side, so I was curious to see you gone.” Taehyung is amused and you turn your head away from him. “I only left for an hour.” “You should’ve sent Jimin.” His smile softens as he approaches with a box in hand and places it on the rounded table you’re sitting by. “They said it was important and if possible, I should come soon, so I thought I would go myself in case something happened.” “What was it?” Taehyung gestures for you to open the box. It’s the pocket watch your father gave you in his will and it looks exactly the same as when you first received it. It’s heavy in your hand. “They said while they were repairing the cracked glass, they found out the clock of the watch can be pulled open. There’s a compartment at the back.” You look up at him, eyes meeting and you pop the front open to the ticking time that’s precise to the second. True as they said, with a bit of effort, the clock opens. And out falls a folded square paper, no smaller than a coin. Your hand quivers as you rush to unfold it. The letter is aged. It crinkles beneath your fingertips. You swallow hard, finding your father’s handwriting. Dear Y/N, Recently, I went to the funeral of an associate of mine. He was an old friend from back then and helped with the company when it was just myself and your mother. It’s a shame he passed away. Lawyer Kim also has come to ask me about creating a will. I fear I have gotten much older than I realized. Someday, you will come to be surprised at how quickly the years go. Your mother and I briefly discussed what we wanted for you when the time comes and we are no longer here. It truly made me realize how much of a burden things will be. Your mother reminds me that you have always been a strong child and I must agree. I hope when the time comes and your mother and I are gone, you will know that we have always thought about you. Arden Eugene It isn’t an apology letter. It serves little explanation for why things are the way they are. Your father never makes mention to the half-sibling you had to search for, doesn’t tell you why he left everything for her, doesn’t apologize or express remorse about being so distant. But the words are sincere, every sentence his own, filled with his spirit. Your eyes sting painfully as the sound of his fading voice echoes in the recesses of your mind and a lump lodges in your throat. Taehyung softly calls to you and you feel the warmth of his arms. He’s by your side as you cry. // There’s much for you to think about in the days that follow. You’re not sure how many times the grandfather clock chimes and rings throughout the house, how often someone asks you if you’d like to eat something or drink. Of course, Taehyung is the one who always draws your attention and pulls you from your thoughts, insisting that it’s time to go to bed or you should take a walk outside and look at the roses that have bloomed. Taehyung always takes care of you when you need him most. And somehow, the spitefulness sewn deep inside of you has lessened. You can feel it when you look around the manor, when you peek outside to the land of the estate, when you wake in the mornings. An exhaustion you thought of as permanent has begun to diminish. More importantly, you start to worry how you’ll protect Rose. She’s nothing but a scared child and you can only hide this secret for so long. Soon enough, they’ll turn the target onto her. “Must you protect her?” Taehyung asks. You know he doesn’t want you to take more onto yourself, to bound yourself to responsibilities that may not be your own. Just as you’d like Taehyung to be free and unrestrained, he wishes the same for you. And it is tempting. To leave her for the wolves, to save yourself, be without obligations, but... “Yes. I finally found someone stronger than me to continue carrying the Arden name, Taehyung. She can shoulder this burden with me and one day, she’ll be even more powerful than I am.” It’s simple to assume that she’s an obstacle, in the way of you achieving everything, a smudge to your existence. But after being wrapped in thoughts, you’ve come to understand that the burden of being the sole heir has been lifted from your shoulders. You don’t have to worry if your fragile state ever worsens. With her here, the uneasiness of the future has disappeared. “Call for Lawyer Kim tomorrow.” The corner of your mouth tugs. “I have a plan.” He smiles and bows his head. “Understood.” Your eyes meet again and you place your chin in your palm, arm propped on the table. A smile pulls on your features. “Taehyung.” “Yes, my lady?” “How far are you willing to help me?” “I’ll do anything,” he answers without needing to blink. Taehyung’s loyalty is undying no matter how many times you ask, but it's been too long since you’ve teased him. He looks far too calm and composed these days for your liking. “Then if I ordered you to strip naked and dance in the city square?” “I would refuse since it would tarnish your name.” You scoff lightly and he grins. “If I told you to hold my hand?” Your arm stretches out towards him and Taehyung closes the distance, coming to cradle your hand gently while he dips his head. “I would be honoured to.” “What if I wasn’t wealthy, would you still be here?” you ask, voice softening. “I would.” “How long are you going to stay here for, Taehyung? I don’t expect you to waste your entire life here.” His smile is tender, gaze affectionate. “I don’t think it’s a waste at all.” You scoff again and let go in favour of lifting your arms to squash his cheeks together. His rounded eyes blink and his lips mimic a fish’s. But rather than a fish, he’s very much like a puppy. Your puppy. “You know how to sweet talk too well.” Taehyung’s eyes are the shade of umber. Yet in the candlelight, they warm into a deep hue of honey that you find yourself tempted to stare into for hours on end. Or until midnight when the grandfather clock will chime throughout the manor. Your hands drop and you lean in to press your lips against his cheek in a soft kiss. You pull away a second later, eyes nervously flickering to him. Taehyung’s visibly taken aback and you clear your throat, diverting your vision elsewhere. “Carry me to bed.” It’s just a few steps away — you could walk. But he doesn’t make a single complaint, arms coming to loop around your shoulders and the back of your knees with ease. Taehyung strides over and lays you down on the soft bed, but before he can get far, you tug on the sleeve with a steady command. “Stay.” “It wouldn’t be proper.” “It doesn’t matter.” You muster more of your strength to pull him and he smiles. “Very well.” You let him go to blow out the candles and he tugs off his coat, draping it over the back of the chair. You realize it might be uncomfortable for him without his nightshirt, but he doesn’t once protest, so you watch as he loosens the top buttons of his shirt and the ones at his wrist. You don’t know why you feel so nervous all of a sudden. From time to time, the two of you slept in the same bed as children. But you suppose it’s been a long time since you were children. The sheets of the bed shift and the bed dips with his weight. You turn your head, vaguely able to see his silhouette with the moon’s cool light coming through the curtains. You grip the edge of the covers. “Taehyung?” “Yes?” “Shall we tell scary tales?” You savour the sound of his laugh. “So you can’t sleep and I’ll have to be here for the next few nights?” “That doesn’t sound so bad,” you murmur and turn your body fully to face him, hand pressed underneath your head. “Taehyung?” “Yes, mistress?” Your brows furrow and you deadpan, “Call me by my name.” It’s silent. His breath hitches and you nibble on the bottom of your lip. When you first met, he called you without restraint until he was taught otherwise. It’s been years since you’ve heard the syllables of your name with his husky timbre. “Properly,” you add. “Y/N.” Taehyung shifts his head to look at you in the comforting darkness. He enunciates it carefully, in a murmur, as if he’s afraid there won’t be another chance. “Y/N.” Your chest warms and heat is brought to your cheeks. The quietness simmers and your lashes flutter, eyes becoming heavier and heavier. “You don’t have to worry about my reputation or tarnishing my name, Taehyung.” “I don’t want to cause you harm in any way,” he says. “I know.” Your fingers come out to gently brush the strands of hair away from his forehead. “But soon, we won’t have to be under the scrutiny of so many or worry what will happen tomorrow. Those things will cease to exist. When that happens, will you still be by my side?” “Of course.” “Then it’s my promise to you.” He smiles faintly, trusting in your promise. “I’ll be patiently waiting.” The two of you doze off and fall asleep. Throughout the night, Taehyung’s arms reach for you and you nuzzle into him for warmth. It’s the best sleep you receive since you can recall.

The room is large. You’re not sure if it’s because all the furniture is being taken, or if it’s from the bright sunlight coming through the windows now that the heavy curtains are gone. Perhaps it was always this large and the clutter was simply too much. “Please watch the vase.” Jimin, the good-natured man, is fretting over the men. “It is very expensive!” You never liked this house much. It’s always been dark. The wallpaper is a deep shade, black trim that matches the hardwood. Every inch of this place is ridden with wealth, the golden chandeliers, the ornate carpet to the glass cabinets full of antiques. It’s quite unnecessary. While each room is filled with memories — from your childhood spent with Taehyung chasing your giggles and your parents striding in and out of rooms — you’re glad to leave it all behind. You can finally let it go and free yourself from its binds. “Y/N!” There’s a stampede, the familiar voice of your dearest uncle. You come to the entrance where your aunt and cousin are fervently following after him. A maid has a panic-stricken face but you lift your hand, allowing her to be dismissed. They must’ve seen the movement, heard the news. “What is happening?!” “I’m selling the land.” Your aunt steps forward, mouth fallen agape. “What?!” “I’ve decided this estate has gotten old.” You stand tall, arms behind your back and for once your stoic expression is marred by a smile. “Trulia’s not where I want to be anymore either.” Hoseok’s brows are furrowed deep enough to wrinkle permanently. “How?!” You look at Uncle Seokjin. “It might be time for you to reconsider who your favourite niece is.” You turn to beckon Rose over who’s peeking out from the corner of the other doorway. “It’s okay. You should meet them at least once.” She approaches timidly, dressed in a fine pink gown that only wealth could buy and your relatives furrow their brows in confusion. She steps beside you and you finally give her a proper introduction. “This is my younger sister, Rose.” “Hello. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Aunt Marie’s eyes widen. “Impossible.” “No. It actually isn’t.” You squeeze your sister’s shoulder and she glances at you with a small smile. “I managed to find her and I’m handing all the assets and the land to her as planned. I should fulfill my parents’ last wishes, no?” The surrounding furniture continues to be lifted and taken out by the shuffling workers to be sold and auctioned — from the paintings to the sofa. All you’ll have by the end is a suitcase packed of some clothing and the pocket watch your father gave. You don’t need anything else. “But it’s still not possible.” Hoseok’s voice quivers. “She’s not married and of age!” A man you know well interrupts, coming from the dining room. He clears his throat and everyone turns to regard the suited lawyer. “It is quite possible.” Your aunt meets him within a single stride. “Lawyer Kim! Explain this immediately!” Lawyer Kim shifts uncomfortable in his spot, putting his weight from one foot to the next. “Well, it wasn’t particularly complicated, but Y/N, here, has become the legal guardian of her younger sister, thereby, allowing her to collect the inheritance. She can liquidate, remove, expand or withdraw as she chooses. That...includes selling the estate and moving elsewhere.” Aunt Marie swivels on her heel and practically seethes, “She is still unmarried!” “We’ve gotten married.” It’s a husky timbre with a certain warmth to the tone that speaks. The room spins around at his voice, commanding the attention of each person, old and young. But Taehyung’s eyes are met with yours and the corner of his mouth is quirked as he descends the stairs, hand skimming along the banister. For a second — the thinnest handle of the grandfather clock being taken away ticking — no one breathes. But then Uncle Seokjin breaks out into laughter. Aunt Marie abruptly turns to Lawyer Kim to confirm what was just said. “Is this true?!” “Yes, I was there as a witness. They wedded three nights ago at the church. It was a brief but intimate ceremony, I must say.” Your aunt is completely appalled. She blanches, features crumpled and her head slowly turns to face you as if you’ve committed the greatest sin. “You really dared to marry a mere butler? Y-You should be ashamed of yourself! What would your parents say, Y/N?! What would they do?!” “It doesn’t matter. They’re dead,” you state blankly. “And he is more reliable than any man I would ever come to know. I would appreciate it if you would treat my husband with more respect. He is a member of the Arden family now.” Taehyung comes to your side and you take a glimpse of him, a small smile emerging on your lips. Aunt Marie shakes her head, violated and exasperated at your presumptuous behaviour. “I have no words...absolutely...no words. How dare you.” “I learned from the best.” You smile at her. “Sometimes you must do dire things when the circumstances call for it. Am I wrong, Aunt Marie?” But really, this is far from dire. You feel like this is the best decision you’ve made since your parents passing. It will be a new start. All the workers will be paid generously for their time spent here. You know many are sad to part, but they’re happy to see you lively again — at least that’s what Jimin told you as he held his hat to his chest and smiled gently. “And what about the company?” Hoseok rushes to ask. You shift to him. “There’s no one more suitable than Mr. Min to carry on. So I’ve sold it to him. I trust that he will do great things with the company and he’s promised me to do so as well.” Hoseok instantly pales. Your Uncle comes forward with feigned worry. “Where are you going?” “I haven’t decided. But it will be a place where you’ll never be able to find me.” You want to go far away to a place where no one knows your name. Where they’ll be no scrutiny, no newspapers. Where you’ll be free of the responsibilities that have plagued your mind and made you ill. “If you wish to contact me, you’ll have to go through Lawyer Kim first,” you deadpan. “I can’t assure my letters will be frequent as I’ll be somewhere distant, where no one will be able to take advantage of my precious younger sister until she becomes of age and naturally marries. They’ll inherit it together without worry that the relationship was built on greed. I’ll make sure I see myself to that.” You look at your aunt directly. “I’ll ask as well that you not try to plant someone under my roof as I’ll find out.” Her mouth draws open, face reddened. “You ingrate!” Her hand raises, arm extending back. But before she can slap you like she wants and knock your head to the side, Taehyung snatches her wrist. He’s faster than anyone can blink and he clutches her back, glare boring into her skin. Her teeth grit and she rips back her hand to her chest. You turn on your heel, looking out the window. “I hope you don’t take this all to heart. I’ll always wish the best for you, Aunt Marie, Hoseok, Uncle Seokjin. That’s what my father would’ve wanted.” Your aunt shakingly exhales, “I can’t believe this.” At the same time, Hoseok collapses against the wall, entirely stunned and your uncle presses his hand to his forehead. Your hand comes onto Rose’s shoulder, giving her a reassuring squeeze. You look at Lawyer Kim who smiles and then your smiling eyes meet your husband’s. Today’s the brightest morning since you can remember. The grass is verdant, air is crisp and the sky is a strong shade of azure with the sunlight piercing through the wispy clouds. It’s noisy, but you don’t mind so much.

The train whistles. The wheels are rolling against the steel rails, chugging along. There’s a bustle inside the cart, families and lovers sitting together, children rushing past. But you watch the storm of verdant out the window, the fields and trees flashing by. You’re not so sure if you’ll stop at the first platform or the second. But when you do, you’ll take your packed suitcases from overhead and be on your merry way, disappearing into the crowd. Your eyes stray from the window to the pocket watch in hand. You’re loosely holding the golden chain of the watch, studying it as it swings back and forth. It’s like a clam, but without any engravings, designs or even ridges on the surface. It’s heavy, perfectly new and polished, the time precise. It’s your most prized possession. It brings memories of the times your father did look up from his desk at you, when your mother would turn with a smile, how that manor allowed you and Taehyung to run through its halls. Rose is asleep across from you, eyes shut and breaths leaving her parted lips. She’s much too unguarded, but you’re not sure if that’s something you should try to change or protect. She tired herself out after being excited to leave Trulia. It is her first time leaving the country after all and she was practically pasted to the windows with wide eyes. You’re happy that you can be here to watch her. It’s still difficult for you to get used to the fact that she’s your sister, but you’re sure with time, she’ll become one of the most important people to you. She is your family. With a soft smile, you stand and slip the pocket watch into your pocket. You walk down the cart of the train to the door. It’s heavy to open, but once you do, the wind whisks through your hair and Taehyung turns around. The three of you chose to sit at the end of the train where there’s a proper place to stand outside and watch the tracks fade away over the curves and horizon. But there isn’t anyone out here aside from, probably because of how chilling the wind is. You wrap the shawl around you tighter. “What are you doing here?” Taehyung asks with furrowed brows. “Aren’t you cold?” You shake your head and join his side at the railing. He looks at you. “Are you feeling nauseous?” “A little at the beginning, but it feels a lot better today. Maybe I’ve gotten used to it.” Taehyung smiles, traces of relief on his expression. Your eyes gaze into the profile of his face, from the dark strands of his hair brushing his forehead to the slope of his nose and the dip of his cupid’s bow. Sometimes you wonder if you’re in a daze, but you realize you married this man. You held Taehyung to the promise that he would do anything for you. And in return, you’re fulfilling your own promise — by going to a place where you can be together. Where it won’t matter what he was or who you are. “I didn’t marry you just to get the inheritance, Taehyung,” you tell him while looking ahead at the passing trees. “It was a way to protect everything I care about. Including you.” His soft smile is heard in his voice. “I know, my lady.” You shift on your heel, facing him with a hardened expression. “But that’s not all. I married you, Taehyung, because I wanted to go somewhere new with you and escape the titles that have bounded us to our duties. I don’t want to be treated as the lady of the house anymore. I want us to be equals.” Taehyung sighs lightly and steps closer to you until your bodies are practically pressed together. He has no hesitance. There’s no longer a worry of anyone watching. “That’s impossible.” Your face falls. He continues, “I’ll always feel a need to serve and protect you, Y/N. My father left me with that responsibility. It’s a part of my legacy to care for the Arden family.” You desperately search his expression. “Then is it impossible to be together? Everything that we’ve gone through together. All this time. Everything that I did — is it really impossible?” “It isn’t,” he murmurs in a warm voice that you’re taken aback by. Taehyung’s face softens and he lifts his finger to gingerly brush away a strand of hair that tickles your cheek. “Those two things don’t have to conflict. And if that’s what you wish for, then I’ll follow you until the end.” The corners of your lip tug. “Is that a promise?” “It is.” You hold out your hand. “Then join me in making my wish come true.” Taehyung smiles and his plush lips kiss against your knuckles, swearing his loyalty to you. Not just as a butler, but also as your husband. The two of you gaze at one another as you lean into him and Taehyung’s arms hold you. It feels warmer than you could’ve imagined and it’s all because he’s here by your side forevermore. The train rides off into the distance until you’ve blended into the scenery.

#bts fanfic #taehyung fanfic #taehyung scenario #taehyung fluff #taehyung x reader #taehyung x y/n #bts scenario #bts scenarios #bts reader insert #hope y'all enjoy this final instalment #the romance is much more subtle than I'm used to writing #but it's nice to change it up

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