#like i know it’s been said a million times and there’s no real genuine sounding way to say it anymore but BE YOURSELF

[noroominyourdreams]

so like i’ve been watching og naruto and i think that the one thing abt sakura that makes her so poorly written (and irritating….) is that she doesn’t have any trauma when compared to sasuke and naruto.

ik that sounds absolutely terrible but like

naruto: orphan, lived alone his entire life, ostracized and feared for a reason he didn’t even know

sasuke: saw his entire family murdered in front of him by his brother

sakura: teased by a girl after she dumped said girls friendship over a guy

both sasuke and naruto have very clear and understandable motivations driving them, and sakura has nothing. like genuinely nothing motivating her. and this is straight up said too, when all three are asked why they are pursing this path of a ninja and sakura has nothing to say(or at least nothing memorable enough for me to remember it and mention it)

and to be completely honest, this makes her very easily hateable. sasuke and naruto have experienced the horrors and are deeply traumatized beyond recovery and sakura has two loving parents and friends she CHOSE to cut off.

basically what i’m trying to say is by killing off one of sakuras parents or something sakuras character would’ve been a million times better bc it wouldve given her a real reason to become a ninja, but by making her a normal girl who just lowkey wants to be strong and wtv, she was set up to be hated from the start

so basically this is entirely the fault of kishimoto and if he’d put 30 more seconds of thought into her character she’d be a billion zillion times better

[gay-fae]

every so often i feel the need to remind everyone that when we say queerness is nonconforming, that also means it is nonconforming to pervasive modern ideas of queerness, not just to traditional conservative values.

in fact, if you are someone who regularly interacts with online queer media/communities, there is a good chance you have been given the impression, directly or indirectly, that the way you experience queerness is incorrect compared to the queerness of others.

but the fact is, you are not “supposed” to experience your gender or sexuality any one specific way for it to be a “valid” queer identity. we may culturally ascribe words and connotations to certain shared experiences, but it is impossible to ever cleanly categorize human identity like that. labels are not rule books, they are community building tools. unfortunately, within our own community we create standards that entirely counter our initial intent to support one another; do not let yourself get caught up in them.

you do not need to look more androgynous or use they/them pronouns to “really be nonbinary” if you won’t WANT that. you do not have to date both genders to “really be bisexual”. you don’t even have to call yourself bisexual even if you “technically fit the definition”. you don’t have to medically transition to “really be trans”. do not perform a false self to “prove” yourself to other queer people. existing as you are within queer spaces is just as important as existing as you are in the broader culture.

[sunrizef1]

big reputation

Pairing: Logan Sargeant x reader, Max Verstappen x ex!reader

Warnings: cheating, lying, manipulation

Authors note: kinda hate this but whatever

Pt2 Pt3

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1 kellypiquet and 6,889,007 others

yourusername happy 5 years with this wonderful, talented, beautiful, amazing man. I’m so proud of everything you do and you manage to amaze me every single day. Thank you so much for showing me what true love can be and for sticking beside me every day. From the boats of Monaco to the villas of Spain to the beaches of Brazil, I love you forever my darling xx

Tagged: maxverstappen1

Load comments…

user1 my parents <3

user2 I want what they have

user3 if she’s not like this I don’t want her

user4 the roses 🥹

user5 the love and support they have for each other is so amazing

user6 the way she’s almost never missed a race 😭🫶

maxverstappen1 ❤️❤️❤️

yourusername ❤️❤️❤️

user7 they’re so in love I can’t

user8 sleeping on the highway tonight

charles_leclerc Happy Anniversary!! 🥳

yourusername thank you Charles! xx

user9 the real royal couple

user10 when is max going to propose lmao

user11 they seem so happy together aw

carlossainz félicitations! 🎊🍾🎉

yourusername thank you chili!

user12 🥰🥰🥰

user13 that caption is so adorable

user14 we need new music about this man pls queen

user15 I feel a love album coming on

logansargeant 🎉

liked by yourusername

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yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1 kellypiquet and 3,898,001 others

yourusername Friendship that will last forever <33 xx It was great to see you love @/kellypiquet

Tagged: kellypiquet

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user14 love this friendship

user15 got here before max did… proud of myself

user16 two pretty best friends

user17 their friendship is so pure I love them 😭

user18 the way y/n is so intertwined into f1 despite being from a completely different profession is so special to me 🫶

kellypiquet 🫶

yourusername 🫶

user19 oh to be y/n l/n

user20 new music when????

user21 why is Logan lurking lmao

user22 that is an international pop-star from his state… she has 122 million followers… she’s often on the grid… I don’t think this rly needs an explanation.

user21 I just think it’s weird cuz he’s not rly friends with max but he still knows him. Kinda weird to be lurking on the page of an acquaintances girlfriend.

user22 Dude she has 15 Grammys… she’s not a secret

user23 lowk the piquets are problematic but yall don’t wanna hear about that

user24 I’m just glad y/n is happy tbh

TWITTER

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INSTAGRAM

yourusername has added to their story

user41

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

user42

what a lie lmao 😵‍💫

user43

Justice for max

user44

I love you y/n!!! 🫶

user45

🖕🖕🖕🖕

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INSTAGRAM

yourusername

liked by logansargeant taylorswift and 12,009,887 others

yourusername every days a new day ☀️

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user25 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

user26 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

user27 🐍🐍🐍🐍

user28 we still love you y/n 🫶

user29 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

user30 we believe you ❤️

user31 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

user32 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

user33 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

user34 we know you're not lying ❤️ it's gonna be okay 🫶

user35 she's a lying snake 🐍🐍🐍

user34 she said the call was doctored and I believe her

user36 it sounds pretty real to me 🐍🐍🐍

user34 I know she wouldn't do that. She loved max too much. She's proven time and time again to be a genuine, kind person and until the full call has been released, I'm going to believe her.

user37 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

user38 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

user39 max not defending her proves it's true 🐍🐍🐍 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

user40 Logan liking… guess he's siding with the liar then 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

COMMENTS HAVE BEEN LIMITED FOR THIS ACCOUNT

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TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

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maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc kellypiquet and 6,009,887 others

maxverstappen1 healing.

load comments…

user46 😍😍😍

user47 I'm so glad max is able to heal after what y/n did

user48 thank god that snake is gone 🐍

user49 kelly being there for max is so sweet

user50 I'm so happy they stayed friends 😭

charles_leclerc good times bro 🫶

maxverstappen1 😅

user51 😵😵😵

user52 y/n didn't do anything

user53 better off without y*n 😵‍💫

used54 I never liked y/n l/n lmao she's always been annoying

logansargeant 👍

liked by maxverstappen

user55 I'm just so happy kelly and max have each other and they weren't torn apart by y/n cheating

user56 you guys are so annoying that call is obviously fake

user57 she literally admits to in the recording what are you talking about

user56 the things she says in it are so vague she could literally be talking about anything. And we don't even hear the other persons responses. They could've 100% been prompting her to say this. Why would they cut them out if they wanted to prove they were telling the truth.

user57 🐍🐍🐍

TWITTER

7 MONTHS LATER… NO SIGHT OF Y/N

INSTAGRAM

logansargeant has added to their story

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

maxverstappen1

liked by kellypiquet redbullracing and 2,008,990 others

maxverstappen1 Ready for Imola! 👊

tagged: kellypiquet

load comments…

user58 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

user59 we all heard the call

user60 lied for what

user61 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

user62 y/n deserves an apology

user63 we 🫶 max and kelly

user64 nah, speak for yourself 🐍

user65 ruined your girlfriends life for a full year just so you could date her best friend... And for what??? Why did you decide you needed to ruin her career and her life just for the sake of a relationship

user66 don't listen to these idiots, y/n deserves what you did

user67 I understand why they did it tbh, y/n is so annoying

user68 🐍🐍🐍

COMMENTS HAVE BEEN LIMITED FOR THIS ACCOUNT

yourusername

liked by logansargeant lilyhme and 21,998,879 others

yourusername all I think about is karma

load comments…

user69 COMMENTS ARE BACK ON

user70 MY QUEEN Y/N

user71 🐍🐍🐍

user72 now why did Charles like this post… my man literally defended max last year when this happened 😭

user73 the only drivers I’d accept to be a part of this is Carlos, Lewis and Logan. The only ones who defended her the whole time.

user74 and Fernando!!!

carlossainz mi hermana! El mundo te extrano 😁

yourusername gracias carlito, Aunque no creo que me hayan extrañado 😅

carlossainz Te extrañé, entonces 🤣

Translation: (my sister! The world missed you) (Thank you carlito, though I don’t think the world missed me) (I missed you, then)

user75 Carlos being on the right side of history… he ends your favs

user76 notice that all of the flops have shut right up now that it’s been proven that their favorite cheater was lying the whole time

user77 all the hottest drivers have been on y/n’s side…

fernandoalo_official ¿Cómo estuvo el descanso? 😁

yourusername relajante 😅

fernandoalo_official ¿porqué es eso? 🤔

yourusername 🤫

translation: (how was the break?) (relaxing 😅) (why is that? 🤔) (🤫)

user78 the comments from the drivers are so cute

user79 I didn’t know she spoke Spanish

lewishamilton welcome back, y/n 🥳

yourusername thanks lew 🫶

user80 bestie for the resties with lew 🥰

user81 my top 3 drivers all commenting on my number 1 artists’ post… you love to see it

user82 I sense aoty

logansargeant isn’t it delicate?

yourusername isn’t it?

user83 wtf are these hoes talking about

user84 my glorious queen y/n l/n

user85 🐍🐍🐍

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

liked by logansargeant danielricciardo and 49,008,776 others

yourusername reputation 5/18/24

Load comments…

user86 WHAT THE HELL

user87 NAHHHHHHHH

user88 is max ready to die?

user89 🐍

user90 breakup album?!?!?!

user91 max never to be seen again

charles_leclerc 🐍

yourusername 🐍

user92 and Charles is here, why? That man was first in line for the y/n hate train I don’t want to hear it.

fernandoalo_official slay

yourusername ?

user93 y/n and Alonso’s comments are killing me

user94 my favorite cheater and snake 💋

user95 who cares, no one likes youuuu

user96 she hasn’t been good since fearless

logansargeant so it goes

yourusername …

user97 these bitches love to chat about nothing for the sake of the plot istg

lilymhe 🫶

yourusername 🫶

user98 AWWWW LILY

yourinstagram

liked by charles_leclerc landonorris and 34,998,770 others

yourusername got some big enemies… reputation out now 🐍

Tagged: lewishamilton charles_leclerc edsheeran

load comments…

user99 XNDA!?????? Y/N BROUGHT BACK XNDA!?

user100 THESE ARENT BREAK UP SONGS Y/N

user101 SHE ATE SHE SERVED SHE DIDNT COME HERE TO PLAY

user102 nah because Lewis makes sense, that man has like a real-life mainstream artist song… WTF IS CHARLES DOING HERE????

user103 I haven’t even listened to the album yet because I’m too shocked by the track list 😭

user104 wtf do you mean Lewis and ed Sheeran made a song together??? 7-time wdc Lewis Hamilton and ginger boy ed Sheeran??? Nah

user105 releasing the album right before arguably the biggest and most historic race of the season… y/n I know who you are

user106 oh the amount of questions max is going to get about this album

logansargeant walking with his head down

yourusername I’m the one he’s walking to

user107 SONG LYRICS SONG LYRICS

carlossainz muy bueno hermosa!!! 🖤

yourusername gracias Carlos 🥹 🫶

user108 big brother Carlos, don’t talk to me I’m delicate 😭🫶

charles_leclerc thank you for inviting me! 🖤

yourusername none of this would’ve happened without you, cha! Merci beaucoup mon ami! 🖤

user109 huh???

user110 what did Charles add to this situation??

user111 we’ve all moved on way too quickly from whatever tf Logan is doing here

user112 lowk he was the mastermind behind it all but yall don’t wanna talk about that

lewishamilton the album is absolutely amazing, honored to be a part of it. Very proud of you, y/n 🖤🖤🖤

yourusername 🥹 love you lew

user113 NOW WHO TF IS THIS ALBUM ABOUT

TWITTER

@casperlikej @evie-119

[genderqueerpositivity]

I absolutely cannot wait for this election cycle to be over because genuinely what the fuck. I keep drawing parallels to the 2016 election because there are just so many similarities, but what I haven't said much about yet are the ways in which things are worse.

Having the majority of people I know or randomly encounter be Trump supporting Republicans is absolutely wild now, because sometimes they will just drop the most unhinged comments you could possibly imagine into casual conversation as if they're simply commenting that the grass is green or the weather is nice today, and every time it gives me this bizarre sensation like I am somehow the one living in a different plane of reality.

The Democrats are intentionally bringing undocumented people into the country and giving them drivers licenses so they can vote in the upcoming November election, and unless Donald Trump wins and is allowed to carry out his mass deportation plan the United States will never again have a Republican Christian president.

Joe Biden has been using the US military to release chemicals into the atmosphere for the past four years which have the ability to affect the weather in order to trick the American public into believing that climate change is real.

The attack on Donald Trump at his rally was rally a plot enacted by The Deep State, a secret group of powerful liberals who are running the country behind the scenes, and they don't want Trump to win in November because he is too powerful for them to control.

Joe Biden was replaced by a secret identical body double when he allegedly had Covid several weeks ago, and the double is the one who really dropped out of the election, gives all of his speeches, and does all of his interviews now for him.

Those are just the ones I heard last week.

And the reactions I get when contradicting these wild takes range from rage to mocking to a bizarre persecution complex. In 2016 and even in 2020 I was able to have a lot of productive conversations with many people who disagreed with me greatly on major issues, and that is largely not happening this time. If I dare to disagree, they turn to anger, attack me personally, or cry immediately that I'm denying their right to free speech. When bringing up my actual lived experiences with certain issues, I've been dismissed immediately as emotional and brainwashed. There is no room for discourse or discussion anymore, it has broken down.

I know that we've been going out of our way to call them weird, but we're not really talking about fringe weirdo conspiracy theorists anymore, we're talking about your neighbors and my coworkers and your aunt and the guy behind me in line at Aldi. These people are everywhere, they're 100% serious about believing in this shit, and they're voting Republican in November come hell or high water, truth be goddamed.

You know, the lives of millions and millions of women, LGBTQ+ people, undocumented people, and other marginalized peoples are at stake in this election but it feels increasingly like reality is at stake too.

"Alternative facts" sounded outrageous seven years ago...now they've made it a way of life. Unless we can correct course, and rapidly, it isn't going to get better.

[ikeupied]

"Maybe people leave you because you're impossible to deal with."

My breath hitched, my heart started pounding, and my hands began to shake. No matter how hard I tried to respond, the words wouldn't leave my mouth.

"Have you ever thought about that?"

I stared at him in shock, unable to believe what I was hearing. I never in a million years thought I would hear those words come out of his mouth.

"What...?" I whispered, but my voice cracked before I could finish. How could he say this to me after everything we’d been through? His words echoed in my mind, too strong, too painful.

"It's the truth," he said, as if talking about something as simple as the weather. "You've clung to people, to me, for so long, and now... I don't know. Maybe it’s time to stop expecting people to never get tired of you."

My chest tightened. I could feel the air in the room grow heavy, like my soul was suffocating. Did he really think that?

"You think I'm... that I'm just... unbearable?" The words tumbled out, shaky and uncertain. No, this couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be happening.

He didn’t look at me, diverting his gaze to the floor, like he didn’t want to see the damage he had already caused. But the words still lingered between us. They felt like daggers, stabbing me again and again.

"Maybe if you weren’t so insecure all the time, people would want to be around you."

Silence wrapped around me like a cold blanket, and I couldn’t help but think of all the times I’d felt invisible, insecure, wondering if maybe he was right. Maybe everything I did was wrong, maybe my whole life had been somehow wrong, and I didn’t even know it.

7:30 AM, the sound of my alarm jolted me awake. I immediately noticed my face was wet; I had been sweating. I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes with my hands. It had been a dream, just that.

I inhaled and exhaled a few times, trying to calm my breath. My hands were shaking, everything felt overwhelming. I squeezed my eyes shut, and tears that I didn’t even realize I was holding back, fell.

"It was just a dream, it’s nothing," I told myself, trying to calm down, and slowly, the crying stopped.

After taking a long shower and staring at myself in the mirror for a while, I got dressed and left the apartment.

8:25 AM. When I saw the time, I realized I was running late for practice. "Shit," I sighed, quickening my pace.

"You’re late," he said, looking at me with his usual smirk. I gave him an empty look and simply walked past him without saying anything.

"Seems like you're in a good mood," he commented. I sighed, holding back the urge to launch myself at him and punch him in the face.

"Can we just start with the choreography? The sooner we get this over with, the better," I said. He gave me a typical smirk.

"Sure, whatever you say."

10:00 AM. I walked out of the dance studio, and Taesan was waiting for me outside.

"How did it go?" he asked as soon as I stepped out, and I could hear genuine concern in his voice. Taesan always worried too much about me, and that made me feel like a burden to him.

"It was... fine," I shrugged, and we started walking toward the university. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we talked just enough and made good progress with the choreography."

"Good... I’m glad," he said, ruffling my hair gently, which made me laugh faintly. "I hope you’re not too tired. This afternoon we’ve got the group rehearsal to review the choreography for the first round."

I sighed at what he said. Honestly, the only thing I wanted to do was stay in bed all day, staring at the ceiling, reevaluating everything I’d said and done since I was three years old. But I couldn’t, so I just nodded and kept walking.

It was going to be a very long day.

just a dream (wc ; 2798)

SYNOPSIS: Y/n and Riki were inseparable. The kind of friendship everyone envied, the kind that felt unbreakable. But somewhere along the way, something shattered. Now, every word they exchange is a fight, every glance a silent war. Neither of them wants to admit how much it hurts. Neither of them wants to be the first to let go of the anger. But how long can you hate someone who once meant everything to you? Because the line between love and hate has never been thinner.

prev | m.list | next

note: I actually cried writing and reading this chapter, but it's one of my favourites.

taglist @kizumis @yangjungwonnie @doririsstuff @annybah @yurizzzs @zaycie @iheartshopping @luvjichang @starbyeol1512 @jaerisdiction @soobinbunnie5 @tasnemluvs @right-person-wrong-time @yuaaa-somehow @nishikio @ezekiel-bublz @hyunjinslongasslegs @iboughtnjz @jvngw0nlvr @blvengene

　　　　　　　　◌ 𓈒 ꒪　◌゚❀　.˳ ⠷

© all rights reserved to ikeupied, please don't copy.

[mayfieldss]

Eva, I love your celebration idea! I'm going to choose Risk with Benny Cross and song #7! I can't wait to see what you come up with 💖

Song #7: Waiting room by Phoebe Bridgers.

Synopsis: Benny is in love with someone he can't have, someone who happens to be Johnny's girlfriend.

You're wearing a white blouse, the top three buttons undone after your long day at work, the school nurse at the local high school now off duty. You're gorgeous, the type of girl the men in this bar can only dream about, and that fact has been teasing Benny all year.

With your soft, empathetic smiles and genuine laugh, Benny can almost believe he's worth something when your gaze is on him. He almost gathers the courage to stand up, wander over and tell you all this when Johnny appears. Two drinks in hand, one for him, and one for his girl. His girl, that just happens to be you.

It turns Benny's stomach to watch Johnny pull out a chair and sit down, patting his lap for you place yourself on his thighs. You do as you're told, smiling as you take a sip of your beer and place an arm around Johnny's shoulders.

Benny moves over to the pool table, leaning on it like he has so many nights before. He knows it makes him look good, and he hopes, dammit he prays, that you might just look over and see him. Really see him.

The problem Benny has is that you're loyal, and so is he. You'd never dare cheat on Johnny and Benny would never in a million years attempt to take Johnny's girl. But he'd be a liar if he said he didn't at least think about it. Think about you, in his arms, in his bed. His warm hands moving over your soft skin in filthy, devilish ways.

Benny can't have you, but he has found his own special ways to be around you without causing suspicion. They aren't healthy, or smart, but he's desperate—and maybe even lovesick.

But he sure takes the sick part of that to serious levels. You are a school nurse by day, but by night you've somehow become the stunning on call doctor for the Vandals. And so Benny does what he has to—crashes his bike, gets into fights, cuts himself shaving on purpose—all so that you will touch him. It's not the kind of touching he dreams of late at night, but he'll take what he can get.

He tries to memorize the sting of your fingers pressing gauze and antiseptic onto his wounds, tries to hold onto the fabulous antidote for any injury that you seem to provide. Your attention. Your gaze. Your voice. Your touch. He needs it all more than any drug. He's itching for it like an addict, clinging to thoughts of you patching up his cuts and bruises because that's all he's ever gonna get.

But it's never enough. One night he calls you, knowing that Johnny isn't home to catch him, and when you pick up sounding sweeter than ever, Benny doesn't even feel guilty about it.

"Benny, is that you?" God, his name on your lips sounds better than heaven, and he wants nothing more than to pull it from you again and again in the form of moans and begs.

"Yeah, it's me. C'n you come over darling? Hurt myself real bad this time." It's not entirely a lie. His head is sprinkling drops of fresh blood onto the floors of his kitchen, the result of an accident he hand crafted for this very moment.

"Oh, of course, I'll be right there, just let me call Johnny." You're such a sweetheart, and the concern in your voice makes Benny feel special, but Johnny's name takes away that feeling faster than Benny can get it.

"Don't call Johnny." It comes out too quick, and Benny has to backtrack to find a reason as to why. "I don't want him to know I messed up again." It sounds honest enough, and it's part truth part lie. That's good enough for him right now.

There's a silence on the other end of the line, and Benny wonders for a moment if you've hung up. When you do speak again, you sound worried, maybe sad.

"Okay."

That's all he gets before you hang up, and he's left to stand in his kitchen, blood dripping like tears onto his hands.

-

Later, the knock on his door is soft, hardly noticeable and when he pulls the door open to reveal you, you have your supplies in hand. Bandages, needles and threads, and a bottle of the strongest alcohol you could find.

"Oh Jesus, Benny. How do you keep doing this to yourself?" you step inside without invitation, setting your stuff down on the floor by the couch and leaving Benny to shut the door behind you.

"C'mon, sit." you gesture to the seat in front of you, and Benny does as he's told, just glad to have you here. He can feel something almost like excitement brewing within him at the thought of your touch this time around, without the eyes of the other Vandals, and Johnny, on him.

"How'd you do this? Crash your bike again?"

Benny tries to shrug, but winces when you press down on one of his wounds. "Something like that."

"Fuck Benny. I drive all the way here in the middle of the night, just because you told me to, and that's all you can give me? Something like that?"

Benny nods, trying not to groan at the way you pull his head back by his hair to get to the cut on his chin. "Yeah, baby."

He catches the way you roll your eyes at him, reaching down into your first aid bag on the floor. "Don't call me that, Johnny will kill you."

The mention of Johnny hits him like a load of bricks, a weight pressing down on his chest. "I don't wanna talk about Johnny right now." It comes out before Benny can stop it, a sentence that sounds less tough than all the others. Something more like pleading. He wants this moment to be his and yours alone.

"Benny," there's his name from your lips again, like an angel calling down to him. "can I ask you something?"

The way you're looking at him now is like a hand pressed firmly against his throat, not allowing him a single second to breathe. He would be concerned, if it weren't for the way your knee has found its way between his legs on the couch. It's innocent, placed there only so you can lean in closer to mend a cut on his eyebrow, but your chest is so close to his face now, and you're looking down at him from an angle he's always wanted.

"Ask away darling."

You scowl at him upon hearing the nickname, but keep on track with your question. You think about how to word things first, before deciding there is no easy way to say it.

"Benny, are you hurting yourself on purpose?"

It takes the air from his lungs. You've caught on, not so fooled by the reckless young man facade the other boys believe in. The look in his eyes tells you all you need to know, and you push yourself away from him the second you read the expression on his face.

"Oh no," you're shaking your head, in disappointment or disbelief Benny can't quite tell. "no, no, no."

He wants to tell you that he can explain, but can he? It's not so easy to say he's been tearing himself apart just so you can put him back together.

"What d'you want me to say darling? Tell me and I'll say it."

You've placed yourself across the room from him now, arms folded across your chest. Deep down you know he won't hurt you, but you don't know what to think anymore.

"Tell me why. Why have you been doing this?"

"I think you know." Benny is acting cool, but there's a ripple of anxiety in his gut. He's been caught in a dangerous lie that has gone on for far too long.

"I dont feel that way about you, Benny. I love Johnny, and only him."

He raises an eyebrow at you, his expression otherwise blank. "You came all this way to help me," he gestures to himself in a slow and agonizing way "because you love Johnny?"

You nod furiously, but Benny doesn't buy it. "I came all this way because you called, and if it had been Johnny who answered, he would've come too."

"You're killing me." He mumbles it under his breath, and he feels the devil on his shoulder now, the one that told him to throw himself off his bike a hundred times, the one that made him throw a thousand punches for you.

"I'm not doing anything to you, Benny. You did this all yourself."

"You're holding the gun to my lips, baby." The nickname falls from his mouth again, but this time you make no move to scold him. Perhaps you think he's been through more than enough.

"No." The shake of your head is barely there, an afterthought almost as you make your way to the door. Your stuff sits behind Benny, and you make no move to go and get it. It's almost like he's got a contagious disease, and you won't go near him out of fear you will catch it. "Johnny will pick up my things tomorrow, but honestly, Benny, you need help. Real help."

He can feel the anger rising in this throat as you reach for the door handle, turning back to make sure he's not following. Then you leave, caught up in the midnight air. He listens to the sound of your car starting, the rumble as you drive off.

He knows it's for the better. You're Johnny's, and he could never have you. But some sick part of him still thinks that maybe, just maybe, you could love him back.

He thought he had become a friend of the pain he put himself through for you. But this time, it feels different. This kind of pain is buried deep, and it clings to him like cobwebs. His penance, for wanting more than he deserves.

Thank you so much for taking part in the celebration baby! I love you loads and I hope you enjoyed this! Feel free to send in more entries if you want!!

Reblogs and comments appreciated <3

TAGLIST: @zablife @hiya-itsamber @s00buwu @heliads

[mattsfavouritewhore]

Why Her Part 3 - Matthew Sturniolo

a/n: I am so sorry it has taken me so long. But i'm back now and I hope you guys enjoy. ALSO TAKING REQUESTS!!!

Warnings: Smut, angst, swearing, arguing

Summary: Did matt get rid of his gf for you?

part 2 why her

A month had gone past.. you hadn't heard from matt once. Once matt left your place that day, you had filled nick in on everything and he said he'd keep an eye out for you and report back about everything he heard and saw. Nothing had come up from nick besides from a few messages saying he stayed in his room and that she hadn't been over.

But today, your phone pinged...

Nick: Im so sorry y/n.

Your heart dropped... you knew exactly what that meant. She was over. He had chosen her over you. Anger. Tears threaten to spill out of anger. You felt stupid. Stupid for having hope. Stupid for thinking you were more than pussy to fuck. Thinking that he actually wanted you.

You didn't respond to Nick's message.

A week past and you were trying your best to move on. The gym became your second home, and your friends kept you busy with outings and events, hoping to distract you from the mess Matt left behind. Still, every once in a while, you'd catch yourself scrolling through social media, seeing updates of Matt and Maria. Each picture felt like a knife in your chest, a reminder of what could’ve been.

But one evening, after a particularly grueling workout, you got another ping from Nick.

Nick: You might want to come over. You: Why? Nick: Matt broke up with her.

You froze. Your heart raced as a million thoughts filled your head. Was this real? Why now? What did he want? You typed back hesitantly.

You: And what does that have to do with me? Nick: Just come over. He won’t stop talking about you.

Against your better judgment, you threw on a hoodie and leggings, grabbed your keys, and headed to Nick’s place. The drive felt endless, and by the time you arrived, your palms were sweating. You knocked on the door, and Nick greeted you with a small smile.

"He's upstairs," Nick said, stepping aside to let you in.

You hesitated. "What exactly am I walking into?"

Nick shrugged. "A mess, probably. But I think you’ll want to hear what he has to say."

You sighed and made your way upstairs, each step heavier than the last. When you reached the door to Matt's room, you paused. The muffled sound of music played from inside, and you could hear faint shuffling. You knocked lightly.

“Come in,” Matt’s voice called out.

You opened the door to find him sitting on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. He looked up when you entered, and the sight of his red, puffy eyes took you by surprise.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice hoarse.

"Hey," you replied, staying by the door. "Nick said you wanted to talk."

He nodded, standing up and taking a step closer to you. “I broke up with Maria.”

"I heard." You crossed your arms, trying to keep your cool. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I realized I was being an idiot," he said, his voice shaking slightly. "I was scared. Scared of ruining what we had, scared that I’d mess things up between us. But being with her made me see how much I don’t want anyone else. It’s you. It’s always been you."

Your heart clenched, but you didn’t let your guard down. "It took you this long to figure that out? After everything?"

"I know I hurt you," he said, stepping closer. "And I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you let me. But I need you to know that I’m done running. I’m done hiding how I feel."

You stared at him, your emotions swirling in a chaotic mess. "How do I know this isn’t just another phase? That you won’t change your mind again?"

He reached out, gently taking your hands in his. "Because I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I don’t want to be without you. Not for another second."

Tears welled in your eyes as his words sank in. For the first time, they felt real. Genuine. "Matt..."

He cupped your face, his thumbs brushing away the tears that spilled over. "Just say the word, and I’m yours. No more games, no more distractions. Just us."

You looked into his eyes, searching for any hint of doubt, but all you saw was sincerity. Slowly, you nodded.

"You had a month.. you left me, no words, for a month... and then i find out you picked her over me." you whispered.

He leaned in, pressing his forehead to yours. "I’m not going to mess this up again. I promise."

You believed him. For the first time in a long time, you felt like you could finally breathe.

Maybe, just maybe, this was the start of something real.

"Okay."

You stood there, his hands still cradling your face, his breath mingling with yours. The tension was unbearable, and before either of you could think twice, his lips crashed against yours. It wasn’t gentle or tentative—it was desperate, like he’d been starving for this moment. You melted into him, your arms wrapping around his neck as he pulled you closer, his grip firm but careful.

"Tell me to stop," he whispered against your lips, his voice low and hoarse.

"Don’t you dare," you replied breathlessly.

That was all he needed. His hands slid down to your waist, gripping tightly as he backed you toward the bed. You let him guide you, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer. When the back of your knees hit the mattress, he lifted you effortlessly, laying you down and crawling over you, his body pressing into yours in a way that made your pulse race.

His lips left yours, trailing down your neck, where he nipped and sucked at the sensitive skin, drawing soft gasps from you. Your hands roamed his back, slipping beneath his hoodie to feel the warmth of his skin. He sat up just long enough to yank the hoodie off, revealing his toned chest, and you couldn’t help but run your hands over him, marveling at the way his muscles tensed under your touch.

“God, I’ve missed this,” he murmured, leaning back down to kiss you again, his lips hot and urgent.

"Then don’t stop," you whispered, your voice trembling with anticipation.

He didn’t need further encouragement. His hands found the hem of your shirt, tugging it over your head and tossing it aside. His lips trailed down your collarbone, and his hands slid behind your back to unclasp your bra, his movements practiced yet filled with a tenderness that made your heart ache.

As the fabric fell away, his lips found your bare skin, his tongue flicking over a hardened peak, drawing a moan from your lips. His hands wandered lower, toying with the waistband of your leggings. He looked up at you, his dark eyes searching yours for permission.

"Please," you whispered, lifting your hips to help him slide the fabric down.

He discarded the leggings and your panties in one swift motion, his gaze raking over your exposed body. "You’re perfect," he said, his voice filled with awe, before leaning down to kiss a trail from your navel to your inner thighs.

His lips found your core, and the first touch of his tongue sent a jolt of pleasure through you. He worked you expertly, his tongue circling and flicking, his lips sucking gently, drawing moan after moan from you as your hands fisted the sheets beneath you.

"Matt, oh my god," you gasped, your hips bucking against his mouth as he held you firmly in place. The coil in your stomach tightened with every movement, and it wasn’t long before you were teetering on the edge.

"Let go," he murmured against you, his voice vibrating through your core. The sensation sent you over the edge, your body arching as waves of pleasure crashed over you, your cries filling the room.

He kissed his way back up your body, his lips meeting yours again, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. As he settled between your legs, you reached for the button of his jeans, fumbling in your haste to undo them.

"Slow down," he said with a soft chuckle, his voice husky as he helped you remove the last barrier between you. He rolled on a condom quickly, his gaze locked on yours as he lined himself up with your entrance.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his voice gentle, his eyes searching yours.

"Yes," you breathed, pulling him closer.

He pushed into you slowly, both of you gasping as he filled you completely. He stayed still for a moment, letting you adjust, before he began to move, his thrusts slow and deep, each one sending a shiver through your body.

"God, you feel so good," he groaned, burying his face in your neck.

Your nails raked down his back as you wrapped your legs around him, urging him deeper. The pace quickened, the sound of skin against skin mixing with your breathless moans and his guttural groans. The tension built again, the pressure mounting until it was almost unbearable.

"I’m close," you gasped, your head falling back against the pillows.

"Me too," he panted, his movements growing erratic.

With one final thrust, the two of you came undone together, your bodies trembling as you rode out the waves of pleasure. He collapsed beside you, pulling you into his arms as you both caught your breath.

For a while, neither of you said anything, the silence filled only with the sound of your breathing. But when he finally spoke, his voice was soft and filled with certainty.

"I’m not going anywhere," he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

And for the first time in what felt like forever, you believed him.

A/N: this will probs be the last part unless someone comes up with a good plot (open to suggestions of all kinds)

LMKK WHAT YOU GUYS THINKKK

[rose24207]

Fake or real?

Summary: A fake proposal for free dessert turns real when Lando confesses his love, changing their prank into something genuine.

Genre: fluff

TW: None!

A/N: thought this was a cute idea! What do you think? English is not my first language. I hope you enjoy it though! Requests are open and welcome!

Masterlist

You sat across from Lando in a cozy Italian restaurant, your napkin folded neatly on your lap as you twirled spaghetti on your fork. It was one of your many "fake date nights" where you two got to laugh, joke, and make memories.

But tonight?

Tonight, you were upping the ante.

“Okay, so hear me out,” you began, leaning forward with a glint of mischief in your eyes. “What if we fake a proposal? I’ve read online that some places give you free dessert—or even the entire meal—if they think you’ve just gotten engaged.”

Lando paused mid-bite, staring at you with wide, amused eyes. “You’re serious?”

“As serious as I’ll look when you pretend to pop the question.”

He burst out laughing, his shoulders shaking. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Come on, Lando,” you urged, trying to keep a straight face. “Think about it—free tiramisu! And you love a good bit of chaos.”

He leaned back, crossing his arms as a teasing smile played on his lips. “What makes you think I’d be convincing enough?”

“You’re Lando,” you retorted. “You can act calm under pressure, right? Besides, it’s just for fun.”

Lando eyed you for a moment, then shook his head, grinning. “Fine. But if we get kicked out, I’m blaming you.”

As the waiter brought over the check, Lando gave you a subtle nod. That was the signal. You suppressed a grin as he dramatically cleared his throat and got out of his chair, kneeling beside you.

The restaurant seemed to fall silent, diners glancing over as the familiar sound of a chair scraping the floor echoed through the space.

“(Y/N),” Lando began, his voice shaking slightly—either from nerves or the sheer ridiculousness of the situation, you couldn’t tell. “I’ve been waiting for the perfect moment, and, well… I can’t imagine a better place than here, with you, to ask…”

You gasped, your hand flying to your mouth to keep from laughing. “Lando!”

He pulled out the ring you were wearing earlier, holding it up as though presenting a rare treasure. “Will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?”

The restaurant erupted into applause and cheers, and you played your part perfectly, jumping up and pretending to cry. “Yes, Lando! A million times yes!”

You threw your arms around his neck, and the two of you hugged as the waiter approached, looking absolutely delighted.

“Congratulations!” he exclaimed. “This is such a special moment! Dessert is on the house.”

Lando turned to you with a wink, and you grinned, barely holding in your laughter. As the waiter left to grab the dessert menu, you sat back in your seat, both of you bursting into giggles.

“That was ridiculous,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “But also kind of fun.”

“See? Told you it’d work,” you teased.

The dessert came and went, and you were both basking in the glow of your shared mischief. But as you prepared to leave, something shifted in Lando’s expression.

He hesitated, looking down at his hands for a moment before meeting your gaze.

“Y’know,” he started, his voice softer now, “as funny as all that was… I wasn’t really acting.”

You blinked, unsure if he was joking again. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he said, sitting forward, his usual playful demeanor replaced with an earnestness you hadn’t seen before, “if I were to propose to someone, I’d want it to be you.”

Your heart skipped a beat, the air seeming to still between you. “Lando…”

“I’m serious,” he interrupted, a nervous chuckle escaping him. “I know we’ve been doing this whole ‘fake date’ thing for fun, but… I think I’ve fallen for you. You make me laugh like no one else, and you get me in ways most people don’t. I—I don’t know when it happened, but I don’t want to pretend anymore.”

You stared at him, speechless, your cheeks burning.

“Say something,” he murmured, his usual confidence cracking just enough for you to see how much your response mattered.

A slow smile spread across your face as you reached across the table, taking his hand. “It’s about time you caught up,” you said softly.

His eyes widened. “Wait, what?”

“I’ve been falling for you too, Lando,” you admitted. “I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

The relief and joy that washed over his face were almost comical. “So… this isn’t fake anymore?”

“No,” you said, laughing as you squeezed his hand. “Not fake at all.”

He grinned, his usual cheekiness returning. “Well, in that case, you still owe me a real yes when I propose properly. And I promise, next time, there’ll be an actual ring.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Deal. But don’t expect me to fake cry again—that was exhausting.”

He leaned across the table, his face inches from yours, and whispered, “For the record, I wasn’t faking the happiest man on earth part.”

Your heart melted as he closed the distance, kissing you softly amidst the bustling restaurant, oblivious to the world around you.

For once, the chaos wasn’t planned—it was real, raw, and perfect.

Thank you for reading!

[adoreispunk]

Out of Reach (joel miller au)

“…this new offer—Olivia helping out—felt like a solid alternative. Maybe this was the break I needed to keep business going without pulling my hair out in the process. My dark thoughts also hoping some eye candy would help my pent up stress.”

an: summary of this story is back on chapter 1:) this is still establishing the characters relationship but we’re gonna start getting into the good stuff next;)

tags: joelmillerau, age gap, dbf!joel, joelmillerfanfic, pedropascal, mature

Two

I was sitting out on the porch after a day at work, staring at the setting sun while my mind raced through a million things.

The blessing of my flourishing business was quickly becoming one of my biggest burdens. I had more work than I knew what to do with, but not enough hands to get it all done. It felt like I was juggling twenty different things, running from job site to job site, trying to stay on top of everything. And then there was the marketing side of things, where every client seemed to find us through the damn internet. I couldn't make heads or tails of it. I'd rather gouge my eyes out than try to figure out how to use my phone to save my life. Felt like the only thing to take some edge off was a couple glasses of whiskey at the end of the night.

It was starting to weigh on me, and I knew I had to find help—someone reliable. That's when I thought of Theo, an old friend I used to work with back at the other company. Good guy, solid morals, and one hell of a contractor. I dug through my phone, scrolling through my contacts, hoping to find his number buried in the list. After a few seconds of praying, I saw it and dialed without thinking twice.

I didn't immediately bring up the job offer. Part of me just needed some human connection outside of the idiots I see everyday at work. Ever since Sarah left for school, the house had been quieter than I liked. I still wasn't used to coming home to an empty house every day.

Thankfully, Theo agreed. He invited me over for some beer and dinner the next day. After wrapping up some work at the office, I threw on my clean work boots and a fresh flannel and drove over to his place. The house looked like it had seen better days, but it felt familiar. I pulled into the driveway, and the porch light flickered on as I approached.

Theo greeted me with a hearty slap on the back and a beer in hand. "Right on time. Good to see you, Joel." He led me out back, where the grill was going, and the smell of sizzling meat filled the air.

We spent a few minutes catching up while he manned the grill. The usual stuff—how work had been, who was still at the old company, and what had changed. I asked about his daughter, Olivia. It had been years since I'd seen her, but I remembered her as a sweet kid who always had a laugh for Sarah's jokes. I had no idea what she was up to now. Theo had only mentioned that she was busy with school at UT Austin.

After a few beers and dinner, I decided it was time to bring up what I'd been thinking about.

"You know, after we moved, I started working at a new company. But man, I just couldn't handle it. The owner was a real piece of shit. I ended up leaving pretty quickly before I could break his jaw."

Theo raised an eyebrow and gave me a half-smile. "Doesn't surprise me. You've always had a low tolerance for idiots."

"Yeah, well, I figured I could do better. So, I started my own company. It's been growing the last couple of years. I've been picking up bigger jobs all over the state. Things are starting to really take off."

"Good for you, Joel," Theo said, genuinely impressed. "Sounds like it's been a good move."

I nodded, taking a long sip of my beer. "It has. But, things are getting busier, and I could use some help. I've been thinking about expanding, bringing in a few more people to handle the workload. I thought I'd reach out to you to see if you'd be interested."

Theo was quiet for a beat, the only sound was the sprinkler in the background. I couldn't read his face. I really hated asking for favors. He took a long pull from his beer, then set it down and looked at me seriously. "I appreciate the offer, Joel. I really do. But I've been at this company for years. Yeah it can be a pain but it works for me. Just pushing through till I'm ready to retire man."

I tried to mask my disappointment. "I get it. 'M not trying to pressure you into anything. I just thought it might be a good fit.”

Theo shook his head, "You're a good guy, Joel. But right now, I'm happy with what I've got going. I think you'll find someone perfect for the job, though. You've built something good here, and I respect that."

I nodded, trying to swallow the sting of his rejection. "Thanks. I appreciate you at least thinking about it."

Theo took another sip of his beer, and then something seemed to click in his head. "You know, though... I've got an idea that might help you out. My daughter, Olivia, she's always had an eye for marketing and branding, and with her coming back home for spring break, I was thinking it could maybe be a good opportunity for her to intern with you."

I raised an eyebrow, unsure if I heard him correctly. "Intern? Olivia?" I wasn't sure how to feel about a college aged girl running around my office.

"Yeah," Theo said, warming to the idea. "She could help you with some of the marketing side of things—reach out to potential contractors, spread the word about your business, all that good stuff. She needs an internship for school and I've been trying to get her to get some real-world experience. This could be a great fit for her if you're okay with it ."

I mulled it over for a second. Olivia had always been a smart kid, and if she had a knack for marketing, this could be what I needed. "That's an idea. I could use someone to handle that side of things. But 'm not sure about the logistics—would she be okay with working for me like that?"

Theo shrugged. "She needs the experience, and I think she'd love the opportunity. Plus, it'd give her a chance to get a taste of what it's like to work with a real, growing business."

I thought about it for a moment longer. It might not be the full-time help I needed, but if Olivia was up for it, maybe it could be the start of something that would help lighten the load for me.

"I'll talk to her," I said, finally nodding. "If she's interested. I could definitely use someone who knows their way around that shit, especially in this age."

Theo smiled, clapping me on the shoulder. "I'll let her know. Think it'll be a good fit for everyone. Let me pull up my Facebook, the kids got a knack for photography too."

Theo pulled out his phone, swiping through a few images before handing it to me. "Here, She's really got an eye for it."

I glanced down at the screen, seeing a few shots—landscapes, candid moments of friends laughing, and some of her work at school. But then I came across a photo that made me pause.

It was a photo Theo took of Olivia, standing in front of the Christmas tree. The glow of the lights reflecting off her features. She was dressed in tall boots, a mini skirt with tights, and an oversized jacket, her hair loosely falling around her face as she gazed off to the side, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. For a split second, my eyes widened but not enough for Theo to notice. I couldn't help but notice how grown up she looked.

My stomach churned as my thoughts veered into uncomfortable territory. A rush of guilt hit me like a cold wave, and I quickly handed the phone back to Theo, trying to shake the idea from my mind. "Yeah she's really grown up, must be proud of her.”

The guilt lingered as I realized this man innocently showed me photos of his daughter and I had to fight my thoughts about how she looked. But the image lingered. I focused on something else around me. The last thing I wanted was to think about her in any other way than the daughter of an old friend. But damn, she was something. I forced myself to clear my throat and refocus on the conversation, mentally scolding myself for even entertaining those thoughts.

As the evening wore on, the conversation shifted to other topics, but I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. While Theo might not be able to help directly, this new offer—Olivia helping out—felt like a solid alternative. Maybe this was the break I needed to keep business going without pulling my hair out in the process. My dark thoughts also hoping some eye candy would help my pent up stress.

[monzamash]

it's impossible to win — daniel ricciardo

daniel ricciardo x you (femreader) | 2.5k summary – when you buy concert tickets with your ex but break up a couple of months before the gig, do you go or cut your losses? rating – mature (sexual references, coarse language) a/n – this was inspired by a lovely ask i received during my 2k celebration and based around the band alexisonfire x masterlist

just sent you the AOF tickets.

i told you to keep yours. you love them as much as i do. read

The glow of your phone was too bright, too harsh and so was the reality you didn’t want to face any time soon. You couldn’t keep them. How could you when the reputation of being the ‘notorious ex girlfriend of Daniel Ricciardo’ – man of the people, loved by millions shadowed you everywhere you went?

He was loved more than most and certainly more than you.

She was never good enough anyway; a parasite, they said when the news broke on the petty gossip pages, exposing that you and Daniel were no longer together, itemising every little detail of your downfall for the world to see. Those years of memories, years of loving privately disappeared and in its place were painful ones to heal. They were the best years of your life, or so you thought – blissfully unaware of the distance slowly growing between you and the man you loved more than most – but it wasn’t enough.

You weren't enough to fight for and especially not enough to love more than driving around a racetrack eight months out of the year. He was never there, out of sight and out of mind, leaving you battling for his attention. You weren’t cut out for it, simply put by him while on the other side of the world. It started as a late night phone call to ease the ache in your chest and to keep him close but he couldn’t have been further away. Physically and emotionally. Drifting.

“Babe, this is what you signed up for.”

“No, it’s what I tolerate – it’s what I sacrifice to love you.”

You broke down, knowing this was the end of your relationship and the only thing you could genuinely put your name to. You had lost yourself completely to his life, no longer something you could call your own. Abandoned dreams and forsaken friendships all so you could be there for him; drawn in to his world, naively consumed by his safety and the promise of a life lived together, not divided by oceans – lost to the fishes.

That was until you re-emerged from the lavish hotels and the private planes, sans Daniel – sans your soulmate. The day you ended that phone call, you knew he would be the hardest one to let go of; eternally the one that got away and the one relationship you would have to tell future boyfriends about. And they would probably gasp and ask, not the formula one driver? and you would have to nod and quash their insecurities because everyone loved Daniel.

But nobody loved him more than you do – did. Not even close.

“He said you should use the ticket and honestly, I don’t even think he’ll show up. He hasn’t come to anything we’ve organised since you two broke up – he’s not the kid we knew back in high school anymore… That’s why you dumped his arse, right?”

Right, but you couldn’t say that.

“I didn’t dump him. I just…” Just told him that he’s wasted the best years of my life chasing him around the world.

“… Said that if he couldn’t be there when I needed him or spent more than two seconds a year with me then I couldn’t do it anymore. And that’s it.” Well, not exactly.

“Sounds like a dumping to me and rightfully so. Look, I love Danny but he’s hard to be friends with, let alone pretending to be in domestic bliss with…”

Yes, but you respected Daniel too much to admit that. Hannah was his friend too, all of them were. You were kids all grown up, now adults wading their way through the treacherous seas of the real world, pretending like they had it all figured out. Ungracefully and riddled with anxiety but finally immune to bullshit and aware of what to expect out of an adult relationship.

The standards were higher now than when you were young and in love. Daniel was your childhood best friend, after all. Or more accurately, the boy you met on the first day of high school, all crooked teeth and bundles of frizzy brown curls. You were acne-ridden and shy, the weirdo girl, they called you until you became friends with Danny. He knew everyone and was loved by everyone – that was the one trait that had followed him through life.

He was the class clown and a cute distraction from the torture of high school but you weren’t the only one who thought so. Lunchtime quickly became your favourite part of every day because you got to sit beside him and eat your Vegemite sandwich, knowing all the other girls in your year seethed seeing you with him. 'That weird mole and Riccardo being friends doesn’t make sense' they’d whisper thinking you couldn’t hear them. But you could and they were right about one thing – you were only friends.

The slightest scent of a spring breeze reminded you of the hours you spent sat under the shady gum trees, watching him playing footy with the other boys while you fiddled with your walk-man and scratched the discs beyond repair as you changed them out, battling with the Sony aux chord that was hanging on for dear life by a slither of duct tape. You were fifteen when Daniel handed you a burnt CD with a hand-drawn skull in the shape of a heart and the letters AOF written in bold black sharpie, smudged from his impatience.

“What’s this?” You asked with squinted eyes, looking up at him and the blistering sun.

“The best fucking album you’ll ever hear.”

He told you years later that he was so proud of himself, thrilled that he was showing you new music. His competitive streak wasn’t exclusive to the karting track – no, it snuck its way into everything he did, specifically when it came to album recommendations and especially with you.

“It’s called Watch Out by Alexisonfire… you know, that punk band I said you would love. Give it a try. I promise it’s better than that fuckin’ Offspring album you won’t stop listenin’ to.”

“Well even if I do like it, I wont tell you now dickhead.”

But he was right. So infuriatingly right. You loved it, maybe because you loved him. He was your best friend, your closest confidante, your twin flame – all cheesy grin and beautiful brown eyes. Lips so full that whenever he spoke, you couldn’t look away. Dangerously entranced by your best friend. A label that haunted you every time it slipped from his tongue and one you desperately wanted to rip off like a band-aid.

You thought those feelings would be the kind of ones you'd painfully bury and take to your grave, heartbreakingly unrequited – until you found a hand-written note crumpled up at the bottom of the ripped CD sleeve. The blotchy blue pen and creases in the lined paper made it hard for you to read his distinctive, yet messy boyish cursive.

song 4 – side walk when she walks (made me think of you)

The sound of frantic clicking bounced off your lilac coloured walls as you skipped to track four; a spinning screech filled the anticipated silence before the sound of a melodic guitar filtered through the muffled headset.

Dressed to kill, you look so right I am drunk with lust tonight Your wounds are opening wide And they might be just my size

Warmth rushed to your chest, your neck and up to your cheeks when you realised what it all meant. And it wasn’t the last time Daniel made your body feel like it was on fire, sitting on his messy bedroom floor and kissing until you couldn’t breathe, the soft sounds of your new favourite band playing on his stereo – heart beating so fast you could’ve died, happily in his arms.

But you weren’t horny teenagers anymore and that memory was blurrier now than it had ever been. It had been muddied with all the sad ones, the fights and the tears – the irreversible emotional damage that you had done to each other. You weren’t a saint, god knows and you took full responsibility for your part and so did Daniel. But that was where it ended – in a seemingly amicable split.

No love lost, only misplaced for a while.

It felt like all eyes were watching you as you walked into the small club, ears already tingling with the reverberation bouncing off the blackened walls – if only they could talk. Musky bodies and the hint of cigarettes filled the air while your combat boots stuck to the floor with every step you took into the lion’s den, making your path to closure hard fought. Maybe it was a sign to turn back; anything could’ve convinced you to swing by the exit on your left until you saw him.

He was dressed head to toe in black with a cap securely pulled over his eyes, hiding away from the curious ones. In any other crowd it would’ve been a piss-poor disguise, so obviously him but he blended in with the dark walls and the growing crowd, all wearing the unofficial uniform of an elder emo – baggy sweater, ripped skinny jeans and torn up Vans. And you were no different.

"You made it!!", a friend greeted, pulling you into a rib-crushing hug while you took in the circling faces. There were a few you never thought you would see again, people who were only your friend by proxy and ones he’d picked up along the way. And it was clear by the way everyone greeted you that he hadn’t dragged your name through the mud, maybe he kept the details of the break up quiet like you.

But the reality for Daniel was that he was too broken to even process what had happened. He came home to an empty apartment after a double-header with no way to contact you, to make things right. Years and years of loving someone doesn’t disappear over night and he wasn’t entirely convinced that the couple of months you’d been apart was enough either. And he was right. The sharp pain in his chest and the way his hands shook when he saw you confirmed it. He was fucked.

“Fuck,” Daniel groaned and turned to his mate, “What am I doing here, man…” 

All he could do was let out a soft laugh and pat his friend on the shoulder, “You’re an idiot.”

Daniel readjusted his cap and let out a strangled, “I know.”

You promised your friend that you’d be fine, like water off a ducks back. All the side glances and murmurs meant nothing to you anymore, the insecurity you had now was nothing compared to when you were actually dating Daniel. Consumed in his bubble, unable to escape the crushing scrutiny. Another wag bites the dust, they said, gone with no explanation other than your obvious absence in the paddock.

It didn’t matter anymore; nothing could hurt more than losing him.

But you still felt it, bubbling away in the pit of your stomach. Years and years of loving someone doesn’t disappear over night, especially when you thought it would last forever. Nostalgia won the battle against the wound in your chest for a moment, still festering without treatment – knowing the only person who could heal it was miles away emotionally but was now in your line of vision. Seeing him in the flesh hurt more than you’d anticipated, more than you could’ve ever imagined. You still loved him, after everything.

The bubbles of excitement quickly dissipated and twisted into knots when you thought about what you had lost – a wave of anxiety washed over, churning away at any ounce of courage you’d mustered to even turn up to this stupid fucking show. You were cursing yourself, cursing your friend who had convinced you that he probably wouldn’t even turn up and that the odds were in your favour. She was so, so wrong.

“Ignore him and come dance.”

She was in damage control, dragging you away from the small gathering of friends and Daniel, who couldn’t tear his eyes away. His warm stare burned holes through your leather jacket as he watched you walk off into the crowd – and away from him again. It was becoming a habit of yours that he loathed. The house lights felt like a spotlight on your bruised ego but you pushed through the warm bodies, putting as much distance as you could between you and your past. The support band sounded great, mostly because it drowned out the soul-crushing thoughts swirling in your mind and brought you some much needed reprieve from your pity party.

You didn’t feel like yourself at all – you were the shell of the woman you used to be and you certainly weren’t the woman you wanted to show up as either. Strong, independent, single and thriving – you were none of those things, entirely the opposite in every way, so you had to dig deep and fake it. And you were a great actor but not tonight.

Not when you felt a gentle poke to your bicep. The lights rotating and strobing above made it impossible to see who was standing beside you, hand offering an icy bottle of Corona with a wedge of lime. It nearly slipped from your shaky fingers when you grasped it, whispering a soft thank you as the house lights went down and the swell of the surging crowd rumbled under foot.

“I wanted to have a chat but…” Daniel pointed to the stage, yelling over the drummer that had taken his rightful place behind his kit.

“Maybe later?” And you nodded yes, sending him a reassuring smile as the band began to play.

You could be diplomatic and hear him out – you owed yourself that at least and deserved closure from all the unanswered questions.

Daniel kept his distance, knowing he was in the wrong and that letting you go was the biggest mistake of his life. And it wasn’t long until his heart stalled in his chest when he heard that painfully recognisable guitar riff filter through the thick air, the one he couldn’t listen to without thinking of you and he could see the way your eyes glazed with tears when you heard it; the opening chords to the song he had dedicated to you all those years ago on that stupid burnt cd.

Maybe you missed him too.

“This ones called side walk when she walks.”

You reached down, without even looking and grasped his hand that was hanging loosely between your stiff bodies. Daniel interlocked his shaking fingers with yours and squeezed them as your head dropped to his shoulder, resting there while you both swayed to the music. You felt safe for the first time in months, comforted by his presence.

Of course you missed him. He was your person.

And this was your band; the band you shared together for over half your lives, their songs played while you fell in love with one another. They were the band you lost your virginity to, humming softly in the background and wishing that feeling would last forever. You remembered blasting ‘to a friend’ in the car on the way to your graduation and Daniel nearly getting pulled over by the cops, laughing until your sides hurt. And they were the band you would always save for your road trips along the coast, both there in Los Angeles and back home.

These were the songs that soundtracked your life with Daniel.

They were your band – and they’d brought you back together.

a//n – this was wildly self indulgent so if you hated it, let me know lol but also lmk if you liked it because i loved writing it x masterlist | askbox

[isacksteban]

Eventually — Lawhan Mixed Media AU

Twitch Streamer AU — 1.5k words — @ellearts — masterlist

Off-screen, Jack and Liam’s casual messages turned into long, late-night conversations that stretched on for hours. They started small — Jack tentatively recommending cozy games like Animal Crossing and Spiritfarer to Liam, who would laugh and promise to “give them a shot” (though Jack wasn’t entirely convinced he ever would). In return, Liam tried to coax Jack into trying more action-packed games like Warzone or Apex Legends, teasing him relentlessly about his reluctance — he didn't realize it wasn't because Jack didn't like the games but because he knew he was bad at them.

“C’mon, mate,” Liam said one night, voice teasing in their Discord call. “It’s not all about guns and screaming. There’s strategy too! You might actually like it.”

Jack laughed softly, fiddling with a pen at his desk. “I don’t think you’d want me on your team. I’d probably just end up hiding in a corner and waiting for the match to end.”

“See, that’s where you’d be wrong,” Liam replied, the grin audible in his voice. “You could be my secret weapon. No one expects the farmer to come out guns blazing.”

“I’ll stick to my crops, thanks,” Jack shot back, a smile creeping into his voice.

As the days passed, their conversations deepened. They began talking about things beyond games — favorite movies, childhood stories, and even what they loved (and hated) about streaming.

“Okay, serious question,” Liam said one evening, leaning back in his chair. “What’s your go-to comfort movie? Like, the one you’ll rewatch a million times and never get sick of.”

Jack hesitated for a moment, then admitted, “Probably The Lion King. It’s just… nostalgic, you know?”

“No way,” Liam said, sounding genuinely surprised. “Same here! Well, that and Cars. But only the first one. The sequels don’t hit the same.”

Jack chuckled. “I should’ve guessed you’d pick Cars. It suits you.”

“Oi, what’s that supposed to mean?” Liam shot back, mock-offended.

“It’s a compliment,” Jack replied, his smile audible. “Cars is a great movie.”

Jack was hesitant at first, keeping his replies short and guarded. He’d never been the type to open up easily, and his tendency to overthink made him second-guess everything he said. But Liam’s easygoing nature and genuine interest in getting to know him slowly wore him down.

Liam didn’t just ask questions — he really listened. If Jack mentioned something offhand, like a childhood memory of helping his mom in the garden, Liam would bring it up days later with a casual, “So, were you always into farming games because of that garden story? Or is it just the pixelated veggies that won you over?”

Jack found himself laughing more often, his nerves easing with every conversation. Liam had a knack for making him feel comfortable, slipping in jokes to diffuse any awkwardness and never pushing for more than Jack was ready to share.

“Y’know,” Liam said during one particularly late night, his voice softer than usual, “I think it’s cool how different we are. Like, you’re all about the chill vibes, and I’m… well, I’m me. But it works, yeah?”

Jack smiled, even though Liam couldn’t see it. “Yeah. It does.”

Over time, Jack started looking forward to their nightly calls. They became a constant in his routine, a bright spot in his otherwise quiet life. He’d never expected someone like Liam — so loud and confident, so opposite to him — to want to talk to him so much. But somehow, it just… worked.

One night, as they both sat on a private Discord call, Jack was fiddling with a game controller, nervously biting his lip. Liam’s voice came through his headset, warm and relaxed.

“So,” Liam said, his accent drawing out the word in a way that made Jack smile, “do I just keep calling you Outback forever, or do I get to know the mystery farmer’s real name someday?”

Jack froze, his grip tightening on the controller. He knew Liam was joking — kind of — but the question hit a nerve. “I, uh…” He swallowed hard. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Li, it’s just… I don’t usually tell people. Like, anyone besides Lance or Este and I've known them for ages.”

Liam didn’t miss a beat. “That’s fair, mate. I get it. I mean, if you don’t want to, no worries. Outback’s a pretty cool name, anyway. I'll just call you O.B. like everyone else does."

The casual response put Jack at ease, but it also made him feel guilty. Liam had been nothing but kind and patient, and deep down, Jack did trust him.

“I…” Jack hesitated, his voice quieter now. “I think I want to tell you. It’s just— it makes me nervous, you know? Like, what if it changes how you see me?”

Liam chuckled softly. “Mate, you’re talking to the guy who screams at pixels and somehow still gets called ‘effortlessly cool.’ I promise, knowing your name isn’t gonna make me think anything less of you.”

Jack smiled faintly, his heart pounding. “Okay. Um… it’s Jack. My name’s Jack.”

There was a beat of silence before Liam replied, his tone soft but teasing. “Jack, huh? Well, it’s nice to officially meet you, Jack.”

Jack let out a shaky laugh, relief flooding through him. “You’re… not disappointed?”

“Disappointed?” Liam scoffed, grinning. “Mate, you’ve got one of the most normal names I’ve ever heard. What was I supposed to expect? Sprout McPumpkin or something?”

Jack laughed for real this time, the tension easing from his shoulders. “Thanks, Liam. For, you know… not making it weird.”

“Jack,” Liam said, his voice warm, “you could’ve told me your name really was Sprout McPumpkin, and I’d still think you’re sick. No pressure, no expectations. Just… be you, yeah?”

From that moment on, Jack felt a little lighter. Liam called him “Jack” occasionally, like a secret just between the two of them, and every time he heard it, Jack smiled.

(a few weeks later)

outbacksprout

liked by maplemarauder, kkofficial, and 18,127 others

outbacksprout lance left me alone so i got married and cut all my hair off >-<

view all 841 comments

maplemarauder outback... sweetie, why.

outbacksprout bc u hate me :(

maplemarauder i told u i was with my other babies </3

outbacksprout didn't even invite me!!

kkofficial oh shit mate!!!!

outbacksprout 😼😼😼

user O.B. UR DUCKING BALD???

user now outback... ur beautiful hair 😭

user hating like he doesn't look SEXY? liked by kkofficial

kkofficial✅️

liked by outbacksprout, jessica.b.lawson, and 47,809 others

kkofficial✅️ uncle duties

jessica.b.lawson thanks again for watching poppy 💞

kkofficial i always will!! she's killer at league 💪

outbacksprout woah u play guitar?? ૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა

kkofficial yea,, i'll have to teach u!

outbacksprout 🤗

maplemarauder

liked by lucamarini, outbacksprout, and 10,018 others

maplemarauder family obligations @lucamarini

outbacksprout BABY DELILAH! :3

maplemarauder she misses her o.b.

outbacksprout if u didnt steal her from me we'd be bonding rn >:(

lucamarini you can take her, bud

lucamarini loved our time together amore 💚

maplemarauder acting like you won't see me tonight 🙄

user I KEEP FORGETTING LANCE GOT MARRIED.

user HELPPP ME TOO 😭

Jack hesitated before hitting “Post.” The picture wasn’t anything special—just him from the back, showing off his newly shaved and bleached head with little pastel pink hearts dyed onto it. His hands felt clammy as he stared at the screen. The caption was simple: “Made some changes. Hope it’s not too much.”

He’d never shown his face, and even now, he hadn’t revealed much—just a close-up of his hair. But it still felt monumental. Vulnerable. What if people hated it? What if Liam thought it was stupid?

He set his phone down and tried to distract himself with a game, but it wasn’t long before his Discord pinged with an incoming call. Of course it was Liam.

Jack sighed, answering reluctantly. “Hey.”

“Hey? That’s all I get after you drop that?” Liam’s voice came through, a mix of disbelief and excitement. “Mate, why didn’t you warn me you were gonna go full rockstar?”

Jack’s cheeks burned. “It’s not that big of a deal,” he muttered, spinning his chair away from his desk.

“Not a big deal? Jack, you’ve got pink hearts on your head. Pink hearts. You’re basically an indie band’s dream frontman now. Where’s my ‘thanks for the inspo’ credit, huh?”

Jack couldn’t help but laugh at Liam’s over-the-top enthusiasm. “Inspo? Since when are you an expert on pastel hearts?”

“Oi, I’m versatile,” Liam said, mock-offended. “But seriously, it looks sick. You’ve got taste, I’ll give you that.”

Jack bit his lip, fiddling with the hem of his hoodie. “You really think it’s okay? I wasn’t sure if it was too much.”

“Too much? Mate, no. It’s you, and it’s brilliant,” Liam said, his tone softening. “You’re allowed to have fun with stuff like this. And honestly, it suits you. Even if I’ve only got this tiny sneak peek.”

The reassurance made Jack’s chest warm, and he smiled despite himself. “Thanks. I wasn’t sure how people would react.”

“People are gonna love it,” Liam said confidently. “But more importantly, I love it. And when are you gonna let me see the full thing, huh?”

Jack froze, his nerves kicking in again. “Liam…”

“I’m joking,” Liam said quickly, his voice light. “No pressure. I know you’ve got your whole ‘mysterious streamer’ thing going on, and it works for you. But just know that if you ever want to show me, I’m here. No judgment.”

Jack felt his heart squeeze at Liam’s words. “Thanks,” he said quietly. “That… that means a lot.”

“Anytime, mate,” Liam replied, his grin audible. “Now, next question: when are you gonna let me dye your hair? I’ve got ideas.”

Jack laughed, the tension melting away. “Not a chance.”

“Aw, come on! I’d do hearts too. Or maybe flames. Or stars! Something cool.”

“Absolutely not.”

The rest of their call was spent with Liam throwing out increasingly ridiculous hair dye ideas, and Jack laughing so hard his sides hurt. For the first time since posting the picture, he didn’t feel nervous anymore.

[printeroo]

Star Trek TNG 3×21 – "Hollow Pursuits"

Little commentary from someone that found themselves in Barclay and cried over this episode (I can explain myself, swear).

As soon as I started this episode, I disliked how Geordi spoke of Barclay – and then how literally everyone else spoke of him. Considering he hasn't done anything wrong other than be akward (and being late to work – which is something to be criticised for but that's not the biggest issue certain members of the crew have with Barclay) it felt just plain mean to me to talk about him the way they do. Especially behind his back.

Now, I don't want it to seem like I think everyone's evil and bad for being unkind to Barclay because I understand that people like him (myself included) are difficult to work and interact with. It's okay to be frustrated with the kind of person he is, but I think they were doing too much.

Also, when I started the episode, I was immediately put off by Barclay's holodeck fantasy. Not the part where he assaults LaForge and Riker – it's very common for someone to feel hatred towards their boss, I think this is just that – but more so his interaction with fake Troi. I definitely found it creepy and figured Troi would be at least uncomfortable if she were to find out. But further on in the episode I realized that that, along with beating up his superiors, is very important to understand Barclay's character. His holodeck adventures with Troi are more than just having a crush on someone and fantasizing about getting with them. Because, despite how it might be presented, the biggest focus in these scenarios is not Troi but the concept of Barclay being confident enough to get a girl and enter conflict when he deems necessary. When he's in the holodeck, alone – despite the simulations, he doesn't stutter. He's not nervous. He can relax. This is all opposite when he's at work or with Troi (the real one) because he's interacting with real, sentient people capable of judging, hating, and bullying him. And that's what's on his mind, causing him to be the way he is.

Like Guinan said: "If I felt that nobody wanted to talk to me, I'd probably be late and nervous too." (I just wanna say how much I love Guinan for everything she said to Geordi in this episode. She's genuinely very kind, and doesn't judge Barclay for being a difficult person.)

I was going to put videos just for comparison between him in the holodeck vs him in real life, with Troi, but there's a 1-video-per-post policy. Hate that. But I'll explain – in the holodeck he's easily speaking without stuttering and his movements are smooth and look effortless (he can even make eye contact with her.) Unlike him with the real Troi, where he's struggling to form a sentence and tries really hard to look relaxed and casual. It's like a Clark Kent/Superman contrast except Barclay's not faking the akwardness.

The scene after Geordi catches Barclay in the holodeck, where they're talking in Ten-Forward, was my breaking point. Barclay talks about how he's always scared of forgetting someone's name, never knows what to with his hands which causes him to always fidget nervously, how he's so terrible at social interactions he has to practice what he would talk about at a function beforehand, but when he gets there he can't find the confidence to let one word out. And then Geordi says he's "just shy" and Barclay acts as if he's been described that way a million times and it just isn't that simple. And he tells Geordi he doesn't understand, no one around him could ever understand.

(^I just really like this piece of dialogue lol because like.... yeah man I get it)

Geordi tries (and in the end succeeds) to help Barclay be more confident. These scenes did make me cringe while watching, though. As you could guess, I'm very shy. So shy in fact that working on the Enterprise sounds like a nightmare. There's so many people and your job is so important and the consequences of messing up could be catastrophic. So, seeing Geordi bring Barclay on THE BRIDGE (aka the most important place on the ship) with THE CAPTAIN (aka the most important person on the ship) made me very nervous because I for sure wouldn't be able to handle the situation. If I were Barclay I'd be tearing up the whole time and when Picard calls me "Broccoli" I might just run to my quarters and cry so hard I throw up and scream till I pass out. I sound dramatic (and I might be) but it just really is that big of a deal for some people. But despite that, I can understand that this helps Barclay build confidence, which is exactly what he needs.

And in the end it's Barclay who saved the day. By being confident enough to voice his opinion. Something that I am very proud of him for because I still find it extremely difficult. And in the end he doesn't get a "thank you" from a superior. Geordi does, from Riker. And when Riker hears that Barclay was involved he doesn't think about thanking him as well, but it's okay. Because Geordi tells Barclay he's glad he was there to help, which is enough validation and assurance to get Barclay started. At least, it would be for me.

This is an odd episode because the main plot is that there's just this guy who's kinda weird (has social anxiety) and no one likes him. But at the same time, I really needed to watch it. For better or for worse, it felt like it was made specifically for me.

(after typing this out I found out that reg will be a recurring, and I think important, character which i am actually very glad to hear. it also means someone might care about what i have to say about him)

[bewitchingbanshee]

I thought I was talking to you on Facebook, you had a cat called Goosie etc, just talking, and then someone messaged me today saying Serena was a fake but calling themselves a role player and didn't consider themselves as fake. They directed me to this Tumblr saying it was genuine. The Facebook role player are using your first name and image. Apparently they were called Serena before then changed it to Layla then Serena again. There was others interacting on their page with her so I thought it was legit. She doesn't disclose anywhere she is just role playing with other like minded people. If I'd seen that kind of disclaimer I would have straight up avoided her. It was laid out as your real page with pictures of her cat Goosie and selfies. I challenged her and she said she didn't disclose it because it ruined the role play. She wanted it to feel real 🤷🤷🤷 I said I was reporting her and I did, but within the next ten minutes she took everything down then deleted her account outright. I guess she will resurface somewhere else but just a heads up.

I'm hoping this is real and not another fakeout. I prefer being anonymous because basically I'm a sad fat middle-aged guy who works in a garage and too scared to talk to pretty girls face to face. I just chat with people on Facebook, and yes, some of them are attractive women. But I don't make it sexual or uncomfortable we just chat. I don't mean to sound defensive but yeah. It was just to hopefully alert the real Serena there is a weirdo talking to people as her without disclosing the truth of her status as a role player. I roleplay myself in DND and Doctor Who stuff so I know the rules. She is just conning people. I don't know if she is taking money off people or not, she never asked me and I didn't see any evidence on her page.

I already knew about the page. I’ve reported it millions of times and had so many other people report it for me too, and Facebook did NOTHING about it.

this is the real Serena lol. I’ll do my makeup and post some new selfies that person hasn’t stolen from me yet so you can see it’s actually me.

I’m so sorry they catfished you. I called them out for being a creepy little bitch about this before and they basically gave me that same stupid cop out roleplay answer.

but yes, the people on there have been wonderful about commenting on those posts to call them out as being a fake and directing people here to the real me.

thank you for letting me know the page was still up, it’s so frustrating that they didn’t do a damn thing about all the reports sent in.

(I also don’t have a cat named Goose. Goose belongs to her very loving owner @punkrockisafulltimejob I’ve just adopted her as my own child lmao 🖤)

[mpsansy]

You once made a profile for a character named Alice. Tell us about her, her relationship with the main cast.

Since Aria is her nonna, does this mean she’s a McFadden? Does this make her the rightful heir to Whipstaff Manor?

Oh, I’m so glad you asked!

Her relationship with The Harveys is normal. All being friendly and welcoming when she first arrives at Whipstaff. She didn’t fully explain why she was there, but then again, she wasn’t given much time to.

As the ghosts of the manor were quick to surround the new fleshie. Casper initially was worried that his uncles would scare away another person. Yet that didn’t happen. It would seem that their attempts fell completely flat.

Instead, this young lady looked at all them with more excitement than the usual fear.

Something she’d soon elaborate about with the entire residence. Because you see, she's been all around the world. Seen all kinds of supernatural otherworldly things. This young lady knows how to take care of herself.

Matter of fact, the lady's a part of the otherworldly. But this time isn't about her. She's here by the request of her nonna. She believed that her long lost husband was still around. Call it a hunch, but the lady was insistent on trying one last time. And all signs pointed towards this house.

Now that she's here and the ghosts of this residence have made themselves known to Alice, she sees no reason why her nonna needs to stay hidden in the necklace the other wears. Quickly emerging out to take a good look around. Stopping once she sees Fatso.

That's him. That's the man that she's been wanting to reconnect with for so many years.

(Hehe, sorry this is quite a lot to take in. Almost done.)

Alice relationship with the McFaddens is very interesting. Her and Casper seem to get along fine. She talks about all the sights she's seen. Showing him all the pictures she's taken in her travels. Even Elizabeth gets intrigued and takes a look.

With the trio? Well, nothing too bad can be said on her end. She finds them to be quite the lively set together compared to most spirits she's encountered. Girl doesn't really mind being around them. Though it's quite funny how they're the ones to ask her a million questions. Should be the other way around, but okay.

And by blood, yes! She's a real genuine McFadden. I think her way of moving and speaking should say as much to the ghosts.

Yet I wonder what it'd feel like for a 22 year old woman to be heir to... anything. Especially Whipstaff Manor. Sounds really important, doesn't it?

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

so among the million other things that was wrong with catra's redemption, i want to highlight the main thing that stuck out to me.

i don't know about y'all but i've had people "apologize" to me like this. saying sorry or admitting their mistakes and then immediately following it up with “i'm worthless” or “everyone hates me” or something in that vein. i get it, people are insecure and they have a lot of self-doubt. but when apologizing to someone about a serious mistake that you made, for hurting them or worse, you do not do this. it's guilt tripping.

apologies are difficult. even if you feel really guilty about what you did, it might be hard to face facts and admit that you did something terrible. even if you absolutely despise yourself, your ego can work up when it comes to apologizing.

catra does admit her faults in the first frame (albeit while still being very vague. “hurt people” is an understatement for everything that she did). but immediately following it up with “no one cares about me :((” just defeats the whole point. like yeah, i wonder why. it's probably not because she abused, verbally harassed and killed people, right?

it doesn't look like she's guilty of what she did, it comes off as her regretting it after she started to face the consequences. she's not upset because she hurt people, she's upset because they left her and now she's alone.

not to mention, this scene where she lashes out at adora for saving her life.

the way she says “you all hate me” just sounds accusatory. not only is she snapping at the person who saved her life and is willing to give her a second chance, but she's also getting angry at adora and the others for hating her. friendly reminder that catra was a war criminal who killed people, abused adora for years, caused the death of glimmer's mother and almost ended space and time out of spite. and here she is, acting as if she doesn't deserve to be hated for all this. (also, adora's response to this is absolute bullshit. “i never hated you” yes, you did. you almost killed catra with no hesitation in s4.)

let's not forget the iconic “i'm working on it” that everyone was swooning over. omg catra says she's working on her anger issues, we love character development! oop— but then she immediately shifts the blame to adora by saying that adora was the one giving her a hard time. mhm. like you didn't give adora a hard time her whole life, catra.

this is almost uncomfortably realistic when compared to real life abusers. if they ever do apologize, this is how they do it. they either make it all about themselves so that you feel guilty for “making them apologize” or they snidely shift the blame to you. if you get mad about it, they could simply say “i said i'm sorry, what more do you want from me?”

regular viewers may see this and think “well, she apologized. that's a good thing”. but if you've ever been acquainted with a person like catra irl, you know that this apology is not sincere. it's just a way to shut their victims up and indirectly manipulate them. you think they're being genuine but you also feel like it's your fault partially, because of how they shift the blame to you or pity themselves until you feel bad for them.

[nicoleanell]

Another smart post going around reminded me of this thing that's been in my drafts, so you gonna hear some SURPRISE RENFIELD 2023 DEEP THOUGHTS FROM ME. <3

Going back to this post which still does occasional numbers,

I feel some ways about how Robert Montague Renfield is overflowing with empathy for other people despite his own circumstances being a million times more dire. He adopts calling the group's abusers "monsters" despite intimiately knowing an actual genuine monster and arguably being one himself.

Like he could've EASILY taken a look around that support group and been like "boo hoo call me when your literal intestines are coming out of your body", but instead of ever looking down on them or treating it as a competition over who has suffered most, he meets them at the place where they're hurting and absorbs it and connects to his hurt. He recognizes it as part of the same continuum, even when the details don't line up or measure evenly, it's Real and an experience he can imagine or relate to. Which is a good thing for support and/or therapy in a group setting.

Later on he lightly calls Rebecca out for her anger issues, but then after she rants about the source of that anger, his response is an utterly sincere "that sounds painful." INTESTINES. OUT OF HIS BODY. MAYBE 48 HOURS + 1 BAD HAIRCUT AGO. HE HAS JUST SHOWERED OFF THE BLOOD OF THE ONLY FRIENDS AND ALLIES HE HAD. But he winces in sympathy over her corruption and dead dad stuff.

And yes, I also feel a way about how that's a part of his nature that's been either exploited or fully trained into him by Dracula, because we ALSO see that in their interactions - "you deserve better", "I know being undead is a painful existence." Like… the fact he constantly leads off with empathy and validation of other people's feelings and that's the way he diffuses Rebecca's anger in that moment is not NOT linked to his codependency issues and the ways he's been abused. Of course everyone else's pain is not less valid than his, it's more valid actually!! He is more than happy to shut up about his needs and his trauma and declare someone else as the priority and Life's Main Character. The way he's still apologizing compulsively and transferring his submissiveness and fawn behavior to somebody else is very much a thing other people have pointed out, jokingly and sincerely.

But in spite of that, I still think it's ultimately a sign of his kindness and genuine compassion for others. And it doesn't have to be a one-way street.

Rebecca is (pretty understandably!) not as sympathetic to him in that scene as he's being with her, because she's still very freaked out and thought he was an ENTIRELY different type of weirdo than the weirdo he's turned out to be. But. Less than an hour later she is listening with an open mind while he tells her the most bluntly holding-myself-accountable, not-self-pitying version of his story and her takeaway is not only "you're not a bad person", it's specifically: I've done shit that I regret too, and being mean to my sister is on an almost LAUGHABLY smaller scale than anything you just said to me, but the point is I recognized your feelings on a basic humanity level somewhere in there and related to that. Again not a competition, and not about their experiences being perfectly in proportion with each other! It's good.