#like i know it runs in families
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arwinfred · 1 year ago
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Also less diagnosis in rural areas might be because rural areas are less hostile for autistic people to live in. Like as a person with autism who has lived in both rural and urban areas the rural areas are much easier for me to function in. There is no constant noise, and the noises that are out here are less harsh in a way to me. Cows mooing is a lot different than car horns honking. I have more time to process sensory information where I live now because it’s not constantly changing compared to when I lived in a small city, so I can cope a lot better. So I present as less autistic now than when I was living in the city because my environment is less hostile towards my needs.
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everyone say thanks to the four bears that gave you autism today
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amamamumumumu · 27 days ago
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This has been a most worthwhile evening 🍽
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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sreppub · 1 year ago
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storybook bats :)
robpunzel, red riding hood, timberella, the little merbat (& her prince!), duke in wonderland, and dami of beanstalk fame (he totally stole the magic beans and ran. he would never sell batcow)
(I know the different background colours are an eyesore oTL don’t worry about it)
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spam-extemporal · 7 months ago
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Dcxdp where Danny has been working with a hero team (did Bruce adopt him? Did he help the teen titans and got told to join them? Idk) for less than a year, maybe they knew eachother for longer, but Danny has been living with them for some months.
Now, I imagined this as a "Danny has to flee to a different dimension after a giw attack/reveal gone wrong" but it can work with other scenarios, the important thing is, death days are important for a ghost's wellbeing, but nobody knows/remembers Danny's deathday or that it's important to commemorate the dead. Maybe he hasn't told anyone yet cause he doesn't want to be a bother, or doesn't trust them enough yet.
So Danny takes the matter on his own hands, each year he goes to a quiet corner of the local graveyard, where he has a piece of marble and a small vase, he usually buys some flowers for his memorial grave and makes some fudge as an offering.
This year wasn't gonna be different, he told his team/family that he was gonna spend the day out, he chose an elegant but comfortable outfit, made some fudge, and saved it on the fridge with a note that said "phantom, do not eat".
The next part might work better with a young hero team, cause despite the note, someone took a bite of the fudge for breakfast.
Danny clearly gets mad, they didn't know, but they just ate an offering, a great offense to the dead it was offered to.
It all ends in a big fight, Danny doesn't want to admit that it was an offering for himself (it just hurts to admit that nobody remembers his death), and the other person thinks he's just having a tantrum over some fudge, like, c'mon, they can make you some if it's SO important to you 😒
And I don't know how to end it cause it came to me while falling asleep and don't remember more T-T
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chaos-bringer-13 · 8 months ago
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I've seen a lot of people writing Danny as a space ancient and Dan and Dani as ghosts with moon and sun cores, being sort of parts, versions of Danny and therefore weaker. Now, consider: Dan and Dani are both powerful ghosts with really cool cores and stuff but Danny is just some guy™
Dan, who came from an alternate timeline and is kind of from the future but also not, is Clockwork's apprentice and will eventually become an ancient of time. He probably only agreed to have some lessons with Clockwork to understand better what happened to him, but he enjoys his apprenticeship now.
Dani, with her love of travelling, loves seeing all the different places the world offers to her, and that includes space and different planets and maybe even parallel universes, and she accidentally ends up being an apprentice of the space ancient. For now she's probably a baby ancient of freedom or something like that, but she might become an ancient of space in the future.
We can also have something like Dan having a core of destruction or Dani being the Speed Force if you want it to be dcxdp, or any headcanon of yours about their cool powers.
And then there's Danny. And yeah, everyone knows that he's super powerful, but also he's just some guy.
It can go different routes. Does everyone know that Danny is just Danny? Or do they think that with siblings (well, technically a clone and an alternate version, but whatever) so powerful, he must be even stronger? Is Danny actually something terrifyingly eldritch and ancient and strong, almost a god, but he just doesn't know himself? Or is he just really some guy?
Now, because it's obvious that I have a dcxdp brainrot, have a regular "JL summons/meets a powerful ghost" but its Dan and Dani, and they keep mentioning their original/brother who won a fight against them at some point. The JL is very concerned about Dan and Dani's godlike powers, and they can't imagine what Danny is like. And then they meet him (in his human form), and it's just a young adult in casual clothes, very friendly and helpful, with no evident powers. Imagine the confusion. Imagine Dan and Dani, radiating power, in their eldritch ghost forms, admitting that fighting Danny for real is the dumbest thing to do and not even they would succeed... And then there's Danny is jeans and silly t-shirt, waving shyly.
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noblemalone · 2 months ago
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What if Dragon Age but they all work at Costco
it’s been 20 minutes and I’m already obsessed with this AU
More
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moeblob · 4 months ago
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Someone pointed out "Alex is the glass half full guy and Shane is the glass half empty but he's working on it guy" and so true.
I think Alex is a finger guns kind of guy and I have nothing to support this claim but I'm gonna stand my ground on it. (Alex also just kinda lost on if the blushing or the tearing up is more important and did HE PERSONALLY mess up saying this because he sure as heck doesn't know.)
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little-pondhead · 7 months ago
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Your Ancient History, Written In Wax
-
Danny knew he should have put better security around the Sarcophagus of Eternal Sleep. It wasn’t even Vlad who opened it this time! The fruitloop was too busy doing his actual mayor duties because for some godforsaken reason, the man got re-elected.
No, it wasn’t Vlad. And it wasn’t Fright Knight, either. Nor the Observants. Who opened the Sarcophagus, then? Danny didn’t have time to find out as Pariah Dark promptly tore open a hole in reality and started hunting Danny down.
The battle was longer this time. He didn’t have the Ecto-Skeleton, as that was the first thing Pariah had destroyed. The halfa had grown a lot over the past few years, and learned some new tricks, but apparently sleeping in a magic ghost box meant that Pariah had absorbed a lot of power. The bigger ghost acted like a one-man army!
Amity Park was caught in the middle of the battle, but the residents made sure it went no further than that. Vlad and the Fentons made a barrier around the town to keep the destruction from leaking. Sam, Tucker, and Dani did crowd control while Danny faced the king head-on.
Their battle shook the Zone and pulled them wildly between the mortal plane and the afterlife. Sometimes, residents noticed a blow from Pariah transported them to the age of the dinosaurs, and Phantom’s Wail brought them to an unknown future. Then they were in a desert. Then a blazing forest. Then underwater. It went on like that, but no one dared step foot outside of Amity. They couldn’t risk being left behind.
It took ages to beat him, but eventually, Danny stood above the old ghost king, encasing his symbols of power in ice so they couldn’t be used again. He refused to claim the title for himself. Tired as he was, Danny handed the objects off to Clockwork for safe keeping and started repairing the damage Pariah had done to the town. The tear he’d made was too big to fix, for now, so no one bothered. They just welcomed their new ghostly neighbors with open arms and worked together to restore Amity Park.
Finally, the day came to bring down the barrier. People were gathered around the giant device the Fentons had built to sustain it. Danny had brought Clockwork to Amity, to double check that they had returned to the right time and dimension.
Clockwork assured everyone that they were in the right spot, and only a small amount of time had passed, so the Fentons gave the signal to drop the shield.
Very quickly did they discover that something was wrong. The air smelled different. The noise of the nearby city, Elmerton, was louder and more chaotic. Something was there that wasn’t before, and it put everyone on edge.
Clockwork smiled, made a remark about the town fitting in better than before, and disappearing before Danny could catch him.
Frantic, Danny had a few of his ghost buds stay behind to protect the town while he investigated.
He flew far and wide, steadily growing horrified at the changes the world had undergone. Heroes, villains, rampant crime and alien invasions. The Earth was unrecognizable. There were people moving around the stars like it was second nature and others raising dead gods like the apocalypse was coming. Magic and ectoplasm was everywhere, rather than following the ley lines like they were supposed to.
Danny returned to Amity.
The fight with Pariah had taken them through space and time. Somewhere along the way, they had changed the course of history so badly that this now felt like an alien world.
How was he supposed to fix this?
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In the Watchtower, The Flash was wrapping up monitor duty while Impulse buzzed around him, a little more jittery than usual. The boy was talking a mile a minute, when alarms started blaring an alarming green. Flash had never seen this alarm before, and its crackling whine was grating on his ears.
Flash returned to the monitor, frantically clicking around to find the issue, but nothing was popping up. No major disasters, no invasions, no declarations of war. Nothing! What was causing the alarm?
Impulse swore and zipped to a window, pressing his face against it and staring down at Earth. “Fuck! It’s today isn’t it? I forgot!”
“What’s today?” Flash asked. He shot off a text to Batman, asking if it was an error. The big Bat said it wasn’t, and that he would be there soon.
“The arrival of Amity Park. I learned about this in school; the alarm always gives me headaches.”
Flash turned to his grandson, getting his attention. “Bart,” he stressed. “What are you talking about?”
Impulse barely glanced over his shoulder. Now that Flash was facing him, he could see a strong glow coming from Earth. “The first villain, first anti-villain, and the first hero,” he said anxiously. “They all protect the town of the original metas. They’re all here.”
“Here? Now??”
“Yeah? They weren’t before, but they are now. The first hero said there was time stuff involved, which was what inspired me to start practicing time travel in the first place.”
“I’m not following.”
“It’s okay. We should probably go welcome them before they tear apart Illinois, though. The history I remember says that some of them freaked and destroyed a chunk of the Midwest during a fight with each other.”
“WHAT?”
#dpxdc#pondhead blurbs#liminal amity park#I’ve seen stuff like this in the mhaxdp fandom and I eat it up every time#basically the fight with Pariah caused the town to jump through time a little#and while they THOUGHT they were keeping everything in#shit leaked out and tainted those points in time#so technically#historically and genetically speaking#Amity Park is the origin point for the meta gene and Danny made history as the first hero#because Clockwork is a little shit#everyone embodies a basic ability and it has grown from there#the flash family are direct descendants of Dani (speed force Dani for the win)#Dash is the reason super strength exists#so on and so forth#go buck wild#bart learned about it briefly in history class in the 30th century#practically hero worships them#booster gold knows about them too but in contrast to Bart’s excitement#booster is fucking terrified because there was a period where Amity Park rebelled against the US government#and he’s from that specific time#he learned to fear phantom because he lived during that part while Bart is from farther in the future when those issues got resolved#guess who’s chosen to welcome the town? >:)#if you’re wondering what happened to the GIW#they turned into the branch Amanda Waller runs#Danny is the first hero#Vlad the first villain#and Dani the first anti hero#there’s an arc where Danny is trying to fix things but clockwork won’t let him into the timestream and all the heroes are horrified#because yeah Danny is the OG but if he goes back in time to fix his ‘mistake’ what will happen to them?
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kagoutiss · 7 months ago
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junimo sight
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jeeaark · 6 months ago
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When trying to teach your friends cool new tricks accidentally turns into a business deal.
A small crack idea, but if lv 12 Mizora can be a patron, so can Greygold. Even adventure-accomplished Emps is flabbergasted at the 'how'. It's cool, nothing like a quick side-quest to fix that technical difficulty.
Anyway, I need Mizora to get fired from her job. I need Zariel to fire her lawyer. Figuratively. Literally. Both. Hunting her down is all good and reasonable but. How many other warlocks are under her belt that risk turning into lemures if she capooted? It's cool, team heart-of-gold can beat her at her own game.
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mohntilyet · 5 days ago
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veilguard spoilers regarding a josie romance. but can we talk about the letter josie sends to a romanced inquisitor because. i’m sorry. fucking losing my mind at the fact that the inquisitor and josephine are close enough friends with the guy the inquisitor duels in her romance to be invited to meet his third child. implying they’ve been invited to the other two. at a baby shower and getting introduced as the one who dueled the baby’s father because he was trying to steal your girl. antivan romances insane.
NO LITERALLLYYYYY. AND HE’S AN IN LAW. ITS TOO FUNNY. i cannot imagine how they met and how yvette probably was like “teehee…. the man that my sister spurned…. has fallen in love with ME!” and the best/worst part is that ortranto really has. i like to think of them running around with each other and secretly meeting as though their families actually hate each other (they really don’t lol) . the ortrantos would probably be delighted to have their son actually marry a montilyet like they wanted, even better that they’re actually in love and it’s not arranged!
i have this image of josie going like “you can’t marry him. is this a joke, because it’s not funny. i almost embarrassed him! the only reason the ortrantos do not hate us is because he is a very kind man who saw that i was in love with the inquisitor! ….yes i suppose a very kind man like that could love you…….. yes of course i want you to be happy…… yvette gabrielle montilyet, i fear you are not hearing what i’m saying— DON’T SAY YOU ARE ALREADY AN ORTRANTO. DID YOU ELOPE? ah okay. don’t do that. i said don’t do that. yvette come back and listen to me” etc etc
of course i must believe that there was a big scene caused (once again) by a montilyet and ortranto that ends with lord ortranto making a speech where the publicly declares his love for yvette in front of all of antiva city to see and hear. so there’s no backing out from this one. in my mind there’s a rehash of the big “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!” (ortranto, desperate but genuine), “you do?” (completely aghast josie who has somehow missed the fact her sister has been giggling even more than usual), plus an “OF COURSE HE DOES!” (a thrilled yvette) that reminds josie so fondly of her own love story that she's immediately relaxed (and suddenly accepting) about this whole thing <3
#josie to me also feels more awkward than she lets on because she's quite good at being graceful and kind#but he is kind of. you know. the guy she rejected in front of val royeaux#i think the most out of character thing is that josie doesnt notice her sister and ortranto meeting up and falling in love etc#but i also think she can be busy enough being an ambassador/running the family business/eldest daughter#that she somehow misses it. for the sake of this beautiful idea i have. and also it would be cute and funny <3#also like the image of yvette saying ‘i’m getting married to adorno!’ and inq is like yeah ok :] congrats!#later asks josie like ‘oh yeah. who was the guy ur sister is marrying’ and josie pauses thinking abt how to say this LOL#this is also how trev finds out ortranto’s first name is adorno. nearly dies laughing over the whole situation i think#he really is like a footnote in her mind where she's like ':/ guy who almost married my beautiful wife' and then almost#without any issue she's able to go like 'GUY WHO IS MY IN LAW. AND WAS REALLY GRACIOUS ABOUT THE WHOLE ARRANGED MARRIAGE THING.#HE'S QUTE COOL ACTUALLY!' <- and has no issue about ortranto after this#much to josie's amusement and exasperation <3#josephine montilyet#adorno ortranto#yvette montilyet#not to mention josie's unseen brothers. they do intrigue me#the idea of either of them kind of finding out their youngest sister is running around with ortranto they probably sighed in relief like#yeah we can distract josephine with this. that will get her off my back about marriage for about a year.#even more if theyre planning the wedding!#evelyn trevelyan#<- mentioned briefly. i guess#veilguard spoilers#for a codex entry but when i saw it i did melt. everyone deserves to experience this firsthand#long post
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im-smart-i-swear · 7 months ago
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coming back home.
@barrenclan
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royalarchivist · 21 days ago
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estrellami-1 · 2 months ago
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Anything
Trigger warning: discussions of death. Not a main character, but it does happen. Lots of angst. Lots of hurt/comfort. I’ll post it in the tags as well.
Steve has a problem.
It’s not a big problem, not really, but his brain won’t let it go and is making it a bigger deal than it really is.
Eddie won’t ride in his car alone.
With the kids, sure; he’ll practically dive into the backseat, noogie Dustin, generally make a nuisance of himself.
But if it’s just the two of them? If Steve insists on driving, Eddie will take his van. There’s no problem if Steve wants to ride with Eddie. But the other way around? Eddie riding with Steve? That doesn’t happen. And Steve has no idea why.
“Talk to him, Dingus,” is Robin’s advice. He’d flip her off, but unfortunately he thinks she’s right: this is something they’re gonna have to talk through.
So Steve pulls on his big-boy pants and marches himself to the Munsons’ trailer, knocking on the door and waiting expectantly.
He doesn’t expect Wayne, but maybe he should’ve, because that’s who answers the door. “Hi, Steve. You’re here for Eddie, I bet, he’ll be in his room.” He moves aside to let Steve in, and Steve thanks him after a second before moving down the hall to Eddie’s room.
He hears him before he sees him; or, more accurately, he hears his guitar. He’s playing the acoustic tonight, instead of his usual sweetheart, so Steve knocks instead of walking in like he’d usually do.
The guitar stops, and Steve hears it being put down, hears a heavy sigh. “Wayne, I’m not really in the- oh.” He opens the door as he speaks and blinks at Steve. After a second, he smiles. “Hey, man, c’mon in.”
Steve blinks. “Uh. Are you okay?” 
Eddie purses his lips. “Define okay. I’m not currently being eaten by bats, y’know? But playing the acoustic always reminds me of my Ma.”
“Ah.” Steve shifts. “Sorry, man. Maybe I should come back later.”
Eddie shrugs. “You’re here now, aren’t you? I can’t be that terrible company.”
Steve snorts. “No, I just… I had a question, but it can wait.”
Eddie tilts his head. “You do that a lot, y’know?” He turns, sits on his bed. Motions Steve into his room.
Steve sits next to him, more comfortable here than in his own room. “Do what?”
“Put yourself last.” He shrugs. “You can ask me. If I don’t wanna answer, I won’t.”
Steve scrunches his nose. “Okay, fine. Why won’t you ride in my car?”
Eddie frowns. “I do, though? Hell, I did what, two days ago? You, me and Dustin went to that comic store in Indy.”
“Okay, let me rephrase. Why won’t you ride passenger in my car, alone? Without any of the kids? And even two days ago you were in the backseat with Dustin.” He shrugs. “It’s not a big deal, I’m just curious.”
Eddie takes a breath. “No, it’s- yeah. You should know.” He clears his throat, grabs the acoustic again. Plays a riff of some sort, fingers dancing over the frets. “I think I feel like I have to save everyone. Or at least be in a position where I can save them, if the need arises.” He swallows, takes another breath. His fingers still. They tremble over the strings. “Did I ever tell you how my ma died?”
Now it’s Steve’s turn to inhale sharply. He shakes his head. “We can stop,” he says. “You don’t have to tell me.”
Eddie smiles ruefully. “I do, though.” He shakes his head. “I was… I was six. It was three days before my seventh birthday. We were driving home from the city. Ma was drivin’, an’ she let me sit in the front seat, since it was almost my birthday. Or- that’s what she said. I think it was so we couldn’t stop her. Couldn’t save her.” He swallows. His eyes are glassy. His accent is thick, the way it gets when he’s thinking about her, or when he’s emotional. His left hand grips the neck of the guitar tightly. Steve worries for his fingers. “We weren’t goin’ that fast, even, but forty’s enough when-” he shakes his head, looks away. Coughs out something that wanted to be a sob. Steve takes the guitar, takes Eddie’s hand. Puts the guitar down. Doesn’t let go of Eddie. “She unbuckled her belt. Dad didn’t see it. I did. Didn’t say anythin’. Maybe I should’ve, I dunno.” He squeezes Steve’s hand. “Then it all happened so fast… she smiled at me, an’ opened her door, an’ next thing I knew-” he wipes at tears on his cheeks. “D’you know what happens to a human head under the wheel of a car at forty miles an hour?”
Steve gasps, grips Eddie’s hand just as tightly. Pulls Eddie in when he begins to shake. “An’ I know why, now,” he whispers. “Dad weren’t good to her. I’unno what he done t’her. I know she did what she could. But I was there. I was right there.” He sniffles, trembles with the effort of keeping his sobs in. Somehow succeeds. “So that’s why. Figure if a kid were to try… I could stop ‘em. Figure if you were to try…”
“You could stop me.” Steve holds him tight. “I won’t,” he whispers. “I swear to you, I won’t.”
“I know,” Eddie whispers back. “But I gotta be able to try.”
“Christ, Eds,” Steve whispers. “I was gonna ask if you’re okay but that’s a stupid question.”
Eddie giggles, still teary-eyed. “Just a little bit.”
Steve pulls away to look him in the eye. “I’m staying tonight, okay? Nightmares are always worse after something like this.”
“Then you should go home,” Eddie argues. “Sleep while you can.”
“Nightmares are always easier with someone else.”
“Damn you, that’s true.” They both laugh a little.
Just then, Wayne comes in with two steaming mugs. “Listen to your boy, son,” he says to Eddie, handing over one of the mugs. He gives Steve the other with a wink. “Lavender tea with a shit ton of honey. Learned it from my ma.”
“Not my boy, Wayne,” Eddie grumbles, but thanks him for the tea anyways.
Steve thanks him too, and he winks again before leaving. Eddie rolls his eyes. “I’d apologize for him, but you’d just defend him.”
“Hey, I like Wayne.”
“I know. Sometimes I think you like him more than you like me.”
Steve chuckles. “Never. You’re my favorite.” He moves so they’re sitting shoulder to shoulder, drinking their tea, leaning against each other. It’s peaceful, and soon enough Eddie’s yawning and dropping his head onto Steve’s shoulder. “Imma pass out soon.”
“Then let’s get you up to brush your teeth before you do.”
Eddie groans like the toddler he secretly is. “I don’t wanna.”
“Yeah, and you don’t wanna go to the dentist to get teeth pulled, either, now do you?”
“Shuddup.”
“Wow. Real master of words here. Really feeling that Dungeon Master power.”
Eddie thumps his arm, but snickers, and really that’s what Steve was going for in the first place, so he just smiles and leads Eddie to the bathroom.
Soon enough they’re in bed, tucked in next to each other, not quite packed like sardines and it’s only because of the heat outside that Steve isn’t more upset not to have more of a reason to touch Eddie. “Night, Eds,” he murmurs, smiling when Eddie rolls over to face him and is temporarily blinded by his own hair. Steve helps move his hair, grabs at Eddie’s hand when he’s done. “Wake me up if the nightmare doesn’t, okay?”
“C’mon, Steve, I can deal with them-”
“I know you can,” Steve answers. “But I want to be up if you are. I want to help if I can. Please, Eddie?”
Eddie sighs after a second. “Damn you,” he says, “I can’t say no to you.” He’s smiling, despite his words, so Steve smiles back.
“Thank you.”
“G’night, Stevie.”
“Night, Eds.”
Steve wakes up to Eddie crying out in his sleep. Even with his eyes closed, he’s got tears streaming down his cheeks. Steve sits up, turns on the lamp, and puts a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “Eddie?”
He rolls over, away from Steve, and continues sobbing. “Eds? Are you awake?” No answer, so Steve puts his hand back on Eddie’s shoulder and shakes a little. “Eddie, wake up!”
He’s up with an aborted yell and a flail of limbs, sitting up and staring into the darkness of his room, trembling. He sniffs and turns to face Steve, finally realizing he’s there, and Steve opens his arms for a hug.
He collapses into Steve’s arms, face mashed into the side of Steve’s neck, arms snaking around Steve’s torso to give an ineffectual tug. Steve takes the hint and inches closer until they’re practically hip-to-hip. “Y’wanna talk about it?” He asks. Eddie sniffs and shakes his head. “Y’want me to talk? To distract you?” Eddie nods. “Okay. Uh… I may have bitten myself in the butt with this one, ‘cause I’m not a great storyteller, not like you are, but did you know we actually met in middle school?”
No answer. “We did. Hawkins Middle was putting on its annual talent show. Now, back then, I was nobody. No one knew me, my name, my parents… nothing. I had one friend named Tommy, who I’d grown up with. Of course, you know him, and you know what happened between us, but he was my only friend back then. I didn’t tell anyone, but I signed up for the talent show. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do, I just knew I wanted to do something. I’ve always had a pretty decent voice, so I figured I could just sing, if I couldn’t figure out anything else to do. Knew I’d at least beat out Tammy Thompson.” He shifts so Eddie’s hair is no longer a choking hazard and pets his hand over Eddie’s head, doing his best to tame the wild curls. “So it’s the night of the talent show, right? And it feels like the whole school is there. I’m sitting backstage, peeking through the curtains, and am about to have my very first panic attack. Someone bumps into me and knocks me over. They tell me to watch where I’m going, even though I wasn’t moving. So now I’m on the ground, thinking about the crowd, and the noise is getting to be too much, and someone grabs my hand and it all… stops. Just like that. It’s silent, other than, like, a ringing sound in my ears. And this boy, the one who grabbed my hand, kneels in front of me, puts my hand on his chest-” Steve demonstrates, moving so he can grab Eddie’s hand and put it on his chest, just over his heart. “-and tells me to breathe with him. In, out. In, out. He raised his hand when we breathed in, and lowered it when we breathed out. In, out. In, out. And when my breathing’s calmed down, he tells me to name five things I can see. And you know what I said first?”
Eddie furrows his brows. “My… my hair?”
“Yup,” Steve nods. “But you’d just had it shaved off, so d’you know what I really saw first?”
“What?”
Steve giggles. “Your ears.”
Eddie groans and ducks his head, pressing his forehead into Steve’s chest. “Hated my ears.”
“I’m gonna say something that’s gonna sound mean, but is actually a compliment,” Steve warns him. “Your ears reminded me of Dumbo. I always loved that movie, the reminder that we don’t have to change who we are in order to be loved. That sometimes the things we hate most about ourselves, the things people tease us about the most, are actually the things that help us most, in the end.” He guides Eddie to lay down. “And I’m not saying your ears are what saved you. But I am saying they reminded me that everything, maybe, isn’t entirely hopeless.” He smiles, tucks Eddie’s hair behind his ear. Says, “I like your ears.”
Said ear burns red. “You’d be one of the few.”
“That’s okay.”
“What’s your thing? Your… ears?”
Steve hums. “Did you know I cried a lot as a kid? I was very emotional, very easily moved. My dad always hated it, so I learned to cover it up. But I think it’s what got me here in the end. I could’ve told Dustin I didn’t have time to help him, but I didn’t. I got roped into this whole mess, but it’s how I got to know him and the kids. It’s how I got to know Robin and you.”
Eddie smiles. “I’m glad you cried as a kid.”
Steve laughs. “Yeah. Me too.” He shifts, a little closer, a little more down the bed so their eyes are level. “D’you wanna talk about it?”
“There’s nothing I want less.”
“D’you think you can sleep?”
Eddie takes a breath. Steve feels the exhale over his cheek. “Maybe.”
“M’kay. Lemme know if you can’t.”
“Okay. I won’t.”
“Eddie.”
He giggles. “I’m kidding. I’ll let you know. I just… won’t stop talking at you until you answer.”
Steve hums, lets his eyes slip shut. “I’ll always answer.”
“Yeah,” Eddie says, so soft. It makes something warm unfurl in Steve’s chest. “I know you will.”
Steve reaches out, squeezes Eddie’s hand in answer. Lets sleep drag him down the way it’s wanted to since he lay back down.
He doesn’t think about the fact that their hands are still clasped.
He’s the first one up in the morning, and he’s a little annoyed by it because they’d shifted during the night, so Steve is no longer facing Eddie.
His annoyance lasts for all of two seconds before he realizes there’s a warm weight behind him and over his hip, and he figures out it’s because Eddie is behind him, arm over Steve’s hip, fingers curled against the little bit of skin visible from Steve’s shirt riding up during the night.
Steve smiles, sighs, and lets his eyes sink shut again.
He doesn’t sleep, just kind of drifts, so he feels it when Eddie wakes up. He feels him tense in a stretch, feels his forehead press against Steve’s spine, feels his fingers curl farther into Steve’s stomach.
He feels Eddie wake up fully and realize the position he’s in. Feels him hum, then stiffen, slowly pulling away. Steve aches about it, but doesn’t move until he’s out of bed completely, taking the time then to roll over as if he’d just woken up. “M’rn’n,” he mumbles, not exaggerating the sleep-rough in his voice at all.
“Mornin’,” Eddie yawns. “How’d you sleep?”
Steve hums, stretches, sits up. “Think I should be asking you that.”
Eddie smiles. “I slept fine. Now how about you?”
“No more nightmares?”
“Not at all. Think you chased ‘em all away.”
“Good.”
“Steve.”
“What?”
“How did you sleep?”
“Oh. Fine. Great.”
Eddie hums, but takes his word for it, offers his hand to help Steve up, which he accepts.
“Can I ask you something that I’m pretty sure you’re not gonna want to answer?”
Eddie grins crookedly. “You can ask me anything, Stevie. If I don’t wanna answer, I won’t.” He sits back on the bed, next to Steve. “What is it?”
“What was your dad like?”
Eddie blows out a breath, looks away. “Jesus, first thing in the morning, too. Uh… y’know how you said your dad is a grade-A asshole?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah. Last I heard, he’s in the state prison for the next… five? Ten? Years. I dunno, don’t really keep track. Was just little things at first, petty theft, then he got an ego and started stealing cars, met a guy who could clean ‘em, and he just…” he shakes his head. “Wayne says he got too big for his britches. I say he got what was coming to him. He tried to rob someone and it… didn’t go well. He got caught, the owner tried to scare him off, swung first, but it doesn’t matter who swung first when he’s dead and my dad was trespassing, right? Tried to say it was self-defense, but…”
“But he was trespassing,” Steve nods.
“Exactly. He got twenty-five for that, and it’s been… twelve years? So I guess he’s got… thirteen left. Not five or ten. Guess it feels like he’s been gone that long.” He sighs. “I went to live with Wayne before that, though… I had a friend, he was my best friend, and my dad… really didn’t like how close we were. Spit out a couple’a slurs, said something about sending me to a camp.” Steve’s breath catches. “I called Wayne that night. Poor guy drove that night, was there by… one in the morning? Picked me up and I’ve never looked back.” He shrugs, picks at his comforter. “Turns out Dad was right about me, but Wayne’s never had an issue, so.” He shrugs. His fingers belie his nerves.
“I think, if I were to ever tell my dad,” Steve says quietly, “a camp would be the least of my issues.”
Eddie’s fingers still for a second before continuing, not fidgeting quite as quickly as before. “Yeah?”
“Mhm.”
“Then it’s a good thing you don’t have to tell him.”
“I think I do, though.”
“How so?”
“He’s got this… way. Of just proving himself right, every time. It’s why I haven’t left yet. He always finds a way to twist it around and show me I can’t make it on my own. Not on my Family Video salary.”
Eddie hums. “Maybe not on your own,” he admits. “But with a person or two? There’s Family Videos in other cities. Ask to transfer. Robin’s been making noise about heading to Indy, right?”
“I think she just wants out of Hawkins, and Indy is the only feasible place to her.”
“Very understandable. Where would you go, Steve? If you could go anywhere?”
Steve sighs. “That’s the problem, though. I can’t leave the kids.”
Eddie chuckles. “I should’ve known. Then why not find a place in between? Maybe on the edge of town?”
“We’re still both on a Family Video salary. I don’t think even combined we could afford anything.” Steve tilts his head. “You said a person or two. Who’s the other person?”
“Ah,” Eddie says. “Well, not to come between the platonic soulmates, but I’m sure Wayne would love to have his life back.”
Steve snorts. “Robin loves you almost as much as I do, Eds, of course you’re welcome.”
Eddie ignores that, for the sake of his own sanity. “Well,” he says instead. “Maybe it’s time to take a crack at those newspapers Wayne’s been hoarding.”
“Maybe it is,” Steve says, a strange sort of smile playing across his lips. “And I can ask people. You’d be surprised at the amount of gossip I hear at work.”
“Oh, I believe it, trust me. Or are you forgetting I use to hang around Sam Goody?”
“Oh, god,” Steve laughs, “I had forgotten that, yeah.” He sighs. “D’you think we would’ve been friends back then? If we’d known each other?”
“I don’t think so.” Eddie chews at his bottom lip. “Not because of you, but because of me. I was still stuck in that high school hierarchal shit, y’know? I would’ve seen you as an asshole jock even though you weren’t anymore.”
“I think I’m still working on it.”
“I think we’re all working on being who we want to be.” He stands and offers Steve a hand up with a grin. “And y’know what helps with that?”
Steve chuckles, places his hand in Eddie’s. “What’s that?”
“Pancakes,” he says decisively. “C’mon, let’s go bully Wayne into making us some.”
“And by bully, you mean ask once.”
Eddie hums. “Same difference.”
He waltzes into the living room, arms spread wide. “Sir Wayne! Our visiting prince has requested pancakes this fine morn.”
Wayne squints at him. “I’m your king, dipshit,” he says, lip quirked up in a smile as he winks at Steve. “Make your own damn pancakes.”
“Wayne!” Eddie cries. “Betrayal! Betrayal of the highest order!”
“You’ll live,” Wayne deadpans. Steve giggles.
Eddie narrows his eyes at Wayne. “Fine,” he says. “We will make our own. But there shall be no extra for you, sir!”
Following him to the kitchen, Steve says, “We’ll make extra.”
“Don’t hurt yourself,” Wayne returns, “but I’d ‘preciate it.”
In the kitchen, Eddie sighs with his head halfway in a cabinet. “Okay, so we don’t have mix.”
“That’s okay,” Steve says. “I can make them from scratch.”
“Or,” Eddie says, turning to Steve with a grin. “We can go out.”
“We could,” Steve allows. “But then Wayne wouldn’t get any.”
Eddie hops backwards onto the counter and leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “Y’know how I said we wouldn’t have been friends if we’d met earlier?”
“Yeah.”
“It really would’ve been entirely my fault.” He sighs. “You’re just… so nice. And it would’ve been unbelievable, for me, because the Munson Doctrine dictates that all jocks are assholes and stay jockish assholes. I think what happened… had to happen, if we were gonna be friends.”
Steve worries his lip. “Then… is it bad if I say I’m glad it happened? If only for that reason?”
“Only if I’m also glad it happened, for that reason,” Eddie responds quietly. “Y’know the only other person I’ve told about my ma is Jeff?”
“I’m…” he pauses, scrunching his nose. “I wanna say I’m honored, but that sounds weird.”
Eddie chuckles. “I know what you mean, Stevie.”
Steve nods, and they stay there for a minute, looking at each other, until Steve looks away with a sigh. “Alright,” he says, pancakes?”
Eddie gusts out a sigh. “Please.”
Steve chuckles and shoves the flour towards Eddie. “Here. Two cups.”
Eddie frowns. “Only?”
“For now. We can always make more later if we need to.”
Eddie shrugs, but nods at Steve, as if deferring to his expertise. “D’you have eggs?”
“Uh.” Eddie checks the fridge, then the cabinet. “No, but we’ve got Spam?”
Steve snorts. “That works. Wanna cut up a can and fry it?”
“Works for me.”
And so they work, side by side, until breakfast is ready and they’re all three eating side by side.
After, Wayne stretches in his seat, glances at the clock, and mutters something underneath his breath as he gets up. “Thanks for breakfast, boys. Steve, you gonna be here for dinner?”
“Uh,” Steve says, glancing at Eddie. “Unless Ed kicks me out.”
“Never,” Eddie swears. 
“I’ll pick up burgers on my way back,” Wayne decides. “That work for you two?”
“Definitely,” Eddie nods.
“Sure. Thank you, Wayne.”
“Son,” Wayne starts, then shakes his head. 
Steve gets the message: he belongs here. His cheeks burn. “Thanks, Wayne,” he murmurs.
Wayne ruffles his hair as he passes.
“So,” Eddie asks, once it’s just the two of them. “Any plans for the day?”
Steve makes a face. “I gotta work at two, but I’m free till then.”
Eddie snorts. “Lemme guess, you’re working alone?”
“Yeah.”
“Well not today!” Eddie says brightly. “Why don’t I come with?”
Steve blinks. “Because… why would you?”
“Cause you’re my friend, Stevie. I wanna hang out with you but I can’t do that if you’re at work and I’m here.”
Steve snickers. “I guess we can talk about moving in together. Tuesdays are always the slowest day of the week.”
“Yeah! Wayne’s got the papers around here somewhere.” He trails off, looking around, then bounds over to the TV with a triumphant, “Ha!” He reaches into the crate the TV’s sitting on and pulls out a stack of newspapers. “Okay, we don’t want anything from last year… beginning of this year might be too old…” he hesitates, looking at Steve. “Maybe since Spring Break? A lot of people moved out.”
Steve hums, moves closer. “Good point. There’s bound to be something on the edge of town.” He sighs as he sits next to Eddie. “The only problem is Robin doesn’t have a car, or even her license. And if I’m working here, and she’s trying to work in Indy, how’s she gonna get there?”
“Well,” Eddie begins, “who says you have to stay at Family Video? Why not stretch your wings out? Try something else? Indy’s a big city with lots of opportunity. How about this.” He shifts so he’s facing Steve. “If you could do anything in the world, work anywhere, what would you do? Where would you work?”
Steve fidgets with his pant leg as he thinks. “A bakery,” he decides softly.
Eddie stills for a moment. “I feel like I should’ve seen that coming. You’d be a great baker, Steve. Or if you want to just sell the baked goods, you’d be great at that, too. Hawkins is small enough we don’t have need for a bakery. Not when you can get everything you need at Melvald’s. But Indy’s big. I pass by two bakeries every time I head into the city.” He puts a hand on Steve’s knee. “Stay at Family Video for now. But when we move, you can apply to those places. Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Steve nods. He can feel his cheeks heating up, feel the excitement coursing through his body. “You really think I could?”
“Steve.” Eddie sighs. “I think you are so much better than you see. I think you can do anything.”
“I dunno about anything.” Steve ducks his head as he blushes. “But, uh. Thank you.”
Eddie smiles. “For?”
Steve looks up at him. His breath catches, for a second, at the look in Eddie’s eyes. He looks away with a shrug even as his cheeks heat up. “Believing in me, I guess.”
“Anything,” Eddie promises again.
Steve looks at him again. Really looks, even as his cheeks heat uncomfortably warm. “…Anything?”
Without looking away, Eddie grabs his hand. Rubs his thumb over Steve’s knuckles. Whispers it again.
Steve leans in and kisses him.
Eddie kisses back.
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froody · 5 days ago
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did anybody else grow up silently praying that they were adopted so they wouldn’t truly be related to their family or was that a me thing
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