spam-extemporal
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spam-extemporal · 1 hour ago
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I've been reading sad prompts again and need some happy:
Soulmate AU Jason/Danny
In this universe, on the youngest soulmates 18th birthday, the two people swap bodies for an amount of time. I think typically in this type of soulmate story, it's supposed to happen when they're asleep (they wake up in the other's body), but the chaos of it happening when they're awake/in the middle of something is too funny. Maybe they switch at the exact minute the youngest was born?
Anyway, imagine:
Danny is suddenly in the body of tall muscular beefcake Jason and Jason is in the body of is-this-a-child-? Danny (short twink king Danny).
1) They switch when Jason is in the middle of family dinner at Wayne Manor.
2) They switch when Red Hood is in the middle of kicking the shit outta someone.
3) They switch during Danny's daily ghost battle. (Danny was flying when they switch, so Jason immediately falls 50 ft to the ground)
4) [Angst] They switch while the Fentons are in the middle of vivisecting Danny.
5) They switch while Danny was in the Ghost Zone and Jason is very stressed about being in some sort of Lazarus realm.
6) The switch while the Batfam is in the middle of fighting Joker. Danny throws Jason's gun in the Joker's face and then just starts pummeling him. Danny does NOT like clowns and this one's clearly an asshole.
7) They switch while Jason's in the middle of making dinner and Danny does NOT know how to cook.
8) Jason is the younger and the Batfam decides to try to look as normal as possible, so they set up a birthday party for Jason. When they switch Danny has a moment of 'Oh fuck no' because his soulmate is rich.
9) Jason is younger and Danny is very concerned about how shitty his apartment is. Were those gunshots?!
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spam-extemporal · 2 hours ago
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I've been reading sad prompts again and need some happy:
Soulmate AU Jason/Danny
In this universe, on the youngest soulmates 18th birthday, the two people swap bodies for an amount of time. I think typically in this type of soulmate story, it's supposed to happen when they're asleep (they wake up in the other's body), but the chaos of it happening when they're awake/in the middle of something is too funny. Maybe they switch at the exact minute the youngest was born?
Anyway, imagine:
Danny is suddenly in the body of tall muscular beefcake Jason and Jason is in the body of is-this-a-child-? Danny (short twink king Danny).
1) They switch when Jason is in the middle of family dinner at Wayne Manor.
2) They switch when Red Hood is in the middle of kicking the shit outta someone.
3) They switch during Danny's daily ghost battle. (Danny was flying when they switch, so Jason immediately falls 50 ft to the ground)
4) [Angst] They switch while the Fentons are in the middle of vivisecting Danny.
5) They switch while Danny was in the Ghost Zone and Jason is very stressed about being in some sort of Lazarus realm.
6) The switch while the Batfam is in the middle of fighting Joker. Danny throws Jason's gun in the Joker's face and then just starts pummeling him. Danny does NOT like clowns and this one's clearly an asshole.
7) They switch while Jason's in the middle of making dinner and Danny does NOT know how to cook.
8) Jason is the younger and the Batfam decides to try to look as normal as possible, so they set up a birthday party for Jason. When they switch Danny has a moment of 'Oh fuck no' because his soulmate is rich.
9) Jason is younger and Danny is very concerned about how shitty his apartment is. Were those gunshots?!
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spam-extemporal · 2 hours ago
Text
I've been reading sad prompts again and need some happy:
Soulmate AU Jason/Danny
In this universe, on the youngest soulmates 18th birthday, the two people swap bodies for an amount of time. I think typically in this type of soulmate story, it's supposed to happen when they're asleep (they wake up in the other's body), but the chaos of it happening when they're awake/in the middle of something is too funny. Maybe they switch at the exact minute the youngest was born?
Anyway, imagine:
Danny is suddenly in the body of tall muscular beefcake Jason and Jason is in the body of is-this-a-child-? Danny (short twink king Danny).
1) They switch when Jason is in the middle of family dinner at Wayne Manor.
2) They switch when Red Hood is in the middle of kicking the shit outta someone.
3) They switch during Danny's daily ghost battle. (Danny was flying when they switch, so Jason immediately falls 50 ft to the ground)
4) [Angst] They switch while the Fentons are in the middle of vivisecting Danny.
5) They switch while Danny was in the Ghost Zone and Jason is very stressed about being in some sort of Lazarus realm.
6) The switch while the Batfam is in the middle of fighting Joker. Danny throws Jason's gun in the Joker's face and then just starts pummeling him. Danny does NOT like clowns and this one's clearly an asshole.
7) They switch while Jason's in the middle of making dinner and Danny does NOT know how to cook.
8) Jason is the younger and the Batfam decides to try to look as normal as possible, so they set up a birthday party for Jason. When they switch Danny has a moment of 'Oh fuck no' because his soulmate is rich.
9) Jason is younger and Danny is very concerned about how shitty his apartment is. Were those gunshots?!
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spam-extemporal · 3 hours ago
Text
I've been reading sad prompts again and need some happy:
Soulmate AU Jason/Danny
In this universe, on the youngest soulmates 18th birthday, the two people swap bodies for an amount of time. I think typically in this type of soulmate story, it's supposed to happen when they're asleep (they wake up in the other's body), but the chaos of it happening when they're awake/in the middle of something is too funny. Maybe they switch at the exact minute the youngest was born?
Anyway, imagine:
Danny is suddenly in the body of tall muscular beefcake Jason and Jason is in the body of is-this-a-child-? Danny (short twink king Danny).
1) They switch when Jason is in the middle of family dinner at Wayne Manor.
2) They switch when Red Hood is in the middle of kicking the shit outta someone.
3) They switch during Danny's daily ghost battle. (Danny was flying when they switch, so Jason immediately falls 50 ft to the ground)
4) [Angst] They switch while the Fentons are in the middle of vivisecting Danny.
5) They switch while Danny was in the Ghost Zone and Jason is very stressed about being in some sort of Lazarus realm.
6) The switch while the Batfam is in the middle of fighting Joker. Danny throws Jason's gun in the Joker's face and then just starts pummeling him. Danny does NOT like clowns and this one's clearly an asshole.
7) They switch while Jason's in the middle of making dinner and Danny does NOT know how to cook.
8) Jason is the younger and the Batfam decides to try to look as normal as possible, so they set up a birthday party for Jason. When they switch Danny has a moment of 'Oh fuck no' because his soulmate is rich.
9) Jason is younger and Danny is very concerned about how shitty his apartment is. Were those gunshots?!
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spam-extemporal · 3 hours ago
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Dead on Main short
Look, I don't know if you can tell, but I really like soulmate AUs, okay. Also, writing something exactly 500 words is more annoying than I thought it would be, but was a fun experiment.
Lightly inspired by this post.
Danny's parents were never concerned about the words on Danny’s wrist. Given their occupation, they thought Danny would meet someone while studying, or perhaps even lecturing on ghosts, or maybe as part of some other job in the future. Jazz has always been concerned about the words on Danny’s wrist. This is probably the normal reaction, given most people do not surround themselves with the dead. 
Danny himself was concerned about it for a while. But then he died. The amount of death surrounding him at all times, what with his parents’ study of ghosts, practically tripled after that. And suddenly the words ‘Is he dead?’ were a lot less concerning. Because in his life, oftentimes the answer was yes.
Not that he was always around dead bodies or anything. But the company he kept did include a large amount of ghosts and other ectoplasmic beings, that while they were not dead, weren’t technically alive either. 
So, Danny moved on with his life as normal. He knew what his words were, but was never actively listening for them. For a few years there he was barely hanging on to sanity, battling ghosts and trying to graduate high school. 
Eventually, life calmed down. His parents, unfortunately, died in their own lab accident. Danny was in his senior year at the time, and Jazz took a semester off of college to help him graduate and get accepted at university himself. Then they shut the portal down and moved on from Amity Park.
Jazz went back to Yale. Danny, who did not make high enough grades for that, went to Gotham University. It was there that he discovered he actually really liked college. School was a lot easier when he wasn’t fighting for his life all the time, and this time he got to take classes he was actually interested in. 
By the start of his second year, his life was looking up. He was majoring in mechanical engineering, and he loved all his science classes. He had a somewhat decent apartment, and was living without much worries on the money from selling his parents’ house. Gotham is not the best area, but it can be a really cheap place to live. And he didn’t see Sam, Tuck, or Jazz as often as any of them would like, but they were all happy where they were.
Which makes the current moment much more distressing than it would have been in his teenage years. As Danny looks at the now-dead body in front of him, then turns and presses his forehead into the alley wall. He’s seconds away from banging his head against it, but that would only give him a headache and would in no way help the current situation. 
The vigilante standing across the alley, on the other side of the body, did not move for a solid minute upon rounding the corner onto the scene. Then he asks, in a voice distorted by tech, “Is he dead?”.
This is not good.
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spam-extemporal · 3 hours ago
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Dead on Main time travel with a mom Danny twist.
Jason calls in a favor from someone on the justice league dark team for help with a case that got magical. the person sends him Danny. it goes well. they're both working very professionally. something happens and they end up back in time in their younger bodies.
Both of them are in the same city that they were working the case on. They are far away from home but Jason is 15 a few months before he finds out about his bio mom and Danny at this time is incubating Dan and Ellie's cores.
Neither of them quite realize the repercussions of what's Happening. The two of them team up to try and get back home. What the two of them don't realize is Danny's friends and family have no idea where he is though they are less worried than the bat family who fully believe Jason is kidnapped.
The two of them go on adventure trying to dodge any local heroes or villains. Eventually the two of them are able to get into contact with Clockwork and Clockwork tells them that they have altered this timeline too much for them to go back. 
The two of them angst about that until they have to get forced out of that because they run into a local hero. I want to say one of the Titans that work with Nightwing because then they recognize Jason but have no reason to know that he's missing.
the two of them then realize that because they're in their younger bodies everyone has no idea where they are. This is when Danny realizes that at that age he is incubating Dan and Ellie which makes him try to split off from Jason.
As Danny's trying to figure out a way to tell Jason what's going on Jason realizes that Danny is getting really sick or at least he thinks is really sick. He's getting tired more easily than before and keeps throwing up. Jason originally thought it was due to stress of the situation but it becomes more and more clear that it is not. They end up having a confrontation which leads to Danny telling him that they are basically pregnant. 
Jason tells Danny that they are not leaving them, especially not after everything that happened. The two of them decide together where to go. The two of them end up deciding the only places that they can go are Amity park or Gotham because of the ambient ectoplasm.
They can go to Amity Park except last time Danny was there it was a bad Fenton parents reveal which led to both Dan and Ellie dead with jazz wheelchair bound as well as Sam and Tucker in comas.
 Or
they could go to Gotham except Jason is probably presumed missing. Having Wayne and bat family connection is probably best for them except for Jason having a falling out in the last timeline as well as knowing that he is supposed to be dead in a few weeks. Jason knows that his death is a major turning point for his family as well as many other things in the timeline.
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spam-extemporal · 3 hours ago
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You know the drill.
Cultists want to summon the Ghost King, the League pull up to stop them, failed summoning successfully and got Ghost Prince Danny.
With a twist.
The head cultist tells Danny what they want, but it's so pitiful that Danny just sits them down, each and every one of the cultists and explains that maybe it isn't the best idea to give your soul to an otherworldly entity just for that.
Then it somehow turns into therapy because Jesus Christ these people have been living some pretty shit lives, then Danny decides to pull some favors with Frostbite and the Yetis to get some of the cultists family members medical treatment for their Mother/Father/Siblings that they're too poor to pay for.
Other times he just kinda tries to get a few others to get more confidence after being drawn in by a few bad people against their will and try and give them ways to get out of said situation.
The entire time the Justice League was just, there, watching all of this go down and questioning a lot of things. Simultaneously Batman is thinking of starting up a program to not make this a repeat, wherein people think they have no other options than to give up their literal soul to an otherworldly entity in hopes to turn their life around.
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spam-extemporal · 6 hours ago
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who the hell is wes weston
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spam-extemporal · 6 hours ago
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Danny opening car door at parent pick up: Thank you for picking me up. I know it was last minute, but I was not expecting them to cancel the art club today.
Jason in driver seat: Who the hell are you?
Danny: *Buckling up* I'm Damian Wayne-
Tim in passenger seat: No, the hell you're not. I would recognize my own baby brother even if we are all wearing the same school uniform kid.
Danny: You didn't let me finish. I'm Damian Wayne's double, Danny Fenton, it's nice to met you
Jason/Tim: Double?!
Danny: Yeah, like how royals have doubles to avoid assassinations and political conflict. Damian hired me to take his place in school so he could focus on his other activities.
Jason: He hired you to do what?! Wait, wait, wait. How long has this been going on?
Danny: Um, since Damian came to the USA?
Tim: That's was two years ago!
Danny: Yeah but I don't age.
Jason: That is a very alarming comment but we will back to it because I need more information on why you would agree to be Damian's double in school!
Danny: You're blowing this out of proportion. Damian didn't want to be in the American School system, I needed a job that wouldn't ask questions about my non-aging and life provided a solution to us both.
Tim: Does Bruce know about this?! Alfred? DICK!?
Danny: I'm not sure. Damian never gave me instructions about his life outside of school. I was just told about them but never met them in person.
Jason: Where did you even met Damian?!
Danny: I tried to mug him when I was living on the streets but he threw me in a dumpster. Thought that was cool so I started following him around. He calls me his little minion.
Tim: Unbelievable. He finds a homeless immortal and uses him to skip school.
Danny: Hey! Damian has never missed a day of school. I have perfect attendance!
Jason horrified whispering: We put the perfect attendance award on main sitting room fireplace. We have defiled the scared award shelve.
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spam-extemporal · 1 day ago
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spam-extemporal · 1 day ago
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Joker dies bcs during his big dramatic speech of the day he tries to be be all insane and funny by pretending to shoot himself in the head with his BANG! flag gun but he fucks up getting distracted by flirting with Batman and mixes up his guns and he shoots himself in the face in front of the bats. Jason, who was being bodily held back from shooting him himself by Bruce and Dick for the past 15 minutes, laughs so hard he fractures a rib and has to be carried back to the batmobile
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spam-extemporal · 1 day ago
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do you think that when jason gets ticked off, he pauses and looks at alfred and says, “how much money would i have to put in the swear jar if i said–” and he whispers something in his ear and then alfred clears his throat and says, “oh sir that’ll rack you up to at least fifty dollars” and jason looks in his pocket and then says, “i can’t afford it”
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spam-extemporal · 1 day ago
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Gotta keep a straight face u guys
based on this post
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spam-extemporal · 1 day ago
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Dickie just gets emotional when it's on pain killers lol
Commission Info / Kofi
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spam-extemporal · 1 day ago
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Jason and Tim have similar competence standards and end up swapping employees sometimes.
---
"Boss, I'm outta the game with this hip---"
"You're outta the beating-up-traffickers game. I got a guy who can get you into the scaring-the-rich game just fine."
"You mean, like...?" A fist into an open palm, quirked eyebrows.
"Nah, verbal intimidation only unless someone steps up to the plate. Mostly you got good eyes and this Wayne kid values having people around who can observe things that aren't spreadsheets."
"Hey, you said I did pretty good at that Excel thing!"
A pointed look.
"Ohhhh. I'm gonna get to learn spreadsheets and threaten people? Oh, man. Thanks, boss!"
"They've got the same insurance, too, so that'll roll over automatically."
---
Meanwhile, on Tim's end of things:
"I noticed that you tend to get impatient with slow results, that you're happy to yell at people for safety violations, and that your plan to remediate the company's incompetence in these areas involves 'firing every single one of them who can't get their head out of their ass.'" Tim smiled.
His employee smiled back. "I mean, that's why you hired me as safety supervisor, right?"
"Of course; your proactive attitude is one of the reasons we chose you. However, I also noticed that a lot of your frustration stems from employees whose work is being impacted by personal issues, often ones stemming from attacks by prominent local criminals."
"Listen, I'm from Minnesota. I know from cold. And I also know that you can't let a little hypothermia from Mr. Freeze screw up your numbers, especially not when those calculations impact lives." Squared shoulders, hands on the hips---yeah, definitely more of a cultural fit with Jason's organization.
Tim nodded and continued his pitch. "And you're competent with a firearm, correct?"
"Hey, I'm not about to go postal just because---"
"No, no, you misunderstand me. You're a skilled employee. I'm just wondering if you might benefit from transferring to a work environment in which you can shoot some of the people who are actually causing these problems."
"I'm sorry?"
"You have a dartboard with Leeds's face on it because he screwed up so many times after that Ivy incident put his kid in the hospital."
"...Okay, I admit that's not my best look."
"The organization I'm recommending you to has a printer next to the firing range; it's sized specifically for target paper."
"Oh."
"It's also an organization that works specifically to keep kids from needing to be in the hospital."
"Oh. You mean---" There was really only one group it could be.
"They need someone with your eye for logistics. Hood's work isn't 'legit,'" Tim made careful air quotes because the dorkiness tended to put people at ease, "but your insurance would roll over to them automatically. And you can rest assured that they take safety very seriously."
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spam-extemporal · 1 day ago
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Random One-Shot; Dan is mistaken as Clark's clone.
There was a quiet, threatening presence hovering in the sky above Metropolis.
But it wasn’t threatening to the citizens.
It wasn’t threatening to Clark, either.
It was a teenager, bulky but still on the slim side, floating in front of an oncoming storm. The threat was in the way he held himself, tense and stiff. His eyes were glowing a faint red, his brows furrowed, arms crossed and fingers tearing into his hoodie sleeves.
A kid that looked more familiar than Clark would like.
A kid that was possibly a Super.
A kid that was on the verge of snapping.
After exposure to so many teens in his life, Clark was familiar with the tells; it was the kind of tension that could make a kid say something, do something, he’d regret for the rest of his life.
Clark was well aware that the best thing he could do…was give the kid his space.
He couldn’t just automatically assume this was another clone, after all. It could be another Chris situation; an escapee of the Phantom Zone, or another Kryptonian that had escaped his homeworld’s destruction.
If this was even a Kryptonian at all.
So Clark floated nearby, trying not to make it obvious that he was hovering. He stopped crime, saved kittens, and always took a moment to breeze past the angry teen. Just to make sure he was still there.
To see if he’d calmed down yet.
The storm hit the city, and Clark could hear the skyscrapers creaking and groaning as they moved with the wind, bending so they wouldn’t break. A lesson, he thought, the maybe-clone or maybe-Kryptonian would do well to learn.
The teenager in the sky, however, appeared to have no give in him at all. Not when lightning came within a hair's-breadth of hitting him. Not when thunder loud enough to make Clark’s ears hurt screamed through the air.
He stared into the clouds, through the clouds, just as angry as he had been hours ago. The only real difference was that he was soaking wet.
Clark was starting to get concerned; he did want to go to bed, after all, but he was worried about leaving an angry super-powered teenager alone. What if someone tried to bother him? What if he got provoked into attacking someone or something?
Clark himself had been a teenager, once, he knew they weren’t prone to thinking things through.
Just as he was starting to consider calling Ma or Lois though, the boy relaxed his hands.
The dripping, torn hoodie sleeves clung to his arms like a more solid form of mud as he stretched out his arms, palms up. His eyes, losing their red glow, closed. His head dipped, chin almost touching his chest.
It looked like he was performing some sort of prayer. 
A quiet veneration of the storm that surrounded him.
Except…no.
No, that wasn’t quite right.
He wasn’t praying. He hadn’t been glaring at the storm.
He’d been glaring at who was inside it.
Someone Clark hadn’t seen nor heard, not until there was a flash of light and someone was falling. Someone almost identical to the teenager that caught him, although slimmer.
Clark saw the slimmer one open his mouth, and immediately tuned in to listen.
“Told you…I could do it.”
The storm started to die down, the rain almost coming to a complete stop.
“Woulda been faster if we did it my way,” the angry one grumbled, trying to pretend like he wasn’t holding the slimmer one with a white knuckled grip. “Vortex is just a little bitch if you don’t care about collateral.”
“People…woulda died your way, dingus. Skill…issue.”
With that devastating insult (Clark knew because Jon said so multiple times), the slimmer one fell completely unconscious.
The angry one, however, turned his head and met Superman’s gaze.
“What do you want, old man?” He asked, not bothering to raise his voice.
“...To know if he needs help, honestly,” Clark answered, doing the same. “If he’s Kryptonian, I have medical supplies to assist.”
“‘If he’s Kryptonian’,” the teenager mocked, as all teens did when they felt cornered by adults. “This has nothing to do with you, and your face is giving me indigestion. Fuck off.”
“Except it does have to do with me, seeing as this…fight, I assume, happened above my city,” Clark countered, tilting his head.
The teen turned in the air, fully facing him.
There was no fear in his eyes as he stared down the Man of Steel.
“...I’m better than you.” The teen said mildly, clutching his…(friend? Brother? Clark was thinking brother, given how similar they looked.) brother closer to him.
“There’s a lot of people who fit that bill, kid.” Clark commented honestly, thinking of Pa, of Bruce, of Lois. There were others, of course there were, and it wasn’t like the first ones that came to his mind were perfect; but there were a lot of people who were better than Clark, and he had no illusions about that.
“I could kill you. Easily.” The teen told him, eyes serious.
“Will you?” Clark wondered, tilting his head.
There was a big difference between ‘could’ and ‘would’; he, of all people, would know.
More importantly, Clark could see a serial number imprinted on one of the boy’s ribs with his x-ray vision. This was definitely a clone, very possibly making use of his own DNA. The blue eyes boring into his own were, after all, a rather unique shade of blue. 
One that Clark saw in the mirror all the time.
A shade humans just couldn’t really get in their own eyes.
But there was something in his facial features that tickled at Clark’s memory.
Not Lex. No, Lex had a narrower nose, and honestly there was none of Lex in this boy’s face.
Also Lex was in prison, so.
No, no. There was something in that narrow face that just…
Wait.
Those cheekbones…Vlad Masters? Clark had only interviewed him once, but the man was fairly hard to forget. He was conceited, he was haughty, and his heart would randomly stop beating even though he was walking and talking just fine.
The man was a meta, for sure, but mad scientist?
What was Vlad Masters doing getting involved in cloning?
“No,” the clone kid said, idly floating away from him. “It’d make the twerp sad and annoying, and he’s already pathetic enough.”
Clark didn’t like this. He didn’t like Masters cloning him or using his DNA to make supersoldiers, didn’t like Masters having his own Super puppet.
Puppets.
There were two, for all that one was dead to the world. Clark may have failed Kon at first, but he’d be damned if he made the same mistake twice.
He wasn’t letting these two fall into the wrong hands. They were going to go to a good home, they were going to get a good family, and come hell or high water, they were never going to be treated as weapons or things.
“He still seems like he needs help-” Clark tried, but the teenager let out a bark of laughter, interrupting him.
“We have someone that can help, Kal, you don’t need to get involved.”
Between one moment and the next, the teen and his brother had gone invisible and silent. There was no heartbeat for Clark to follow, no slight shimmer of imperfect camouflage for him to spot.
Clark couldn’t find them; it seemed that Masters had, in fact, used his own DNA as well if they could stop vital organs from working. More than likely, Masters could go invisible as well, but just hadn’t had a reason to in front of a reporter the one time they’d met.
Clark well and truly could not find a trace of the clone boy or his brother.
But at least he had a lead.
Vlad Masters.
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spam-extemporal · 1 day ago
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Wedding Thief
There have been a string of thefts in Gotham (which isn't unusual) that were confusing Batman, all involving things for a wedding. There were no finger prints, no signs of break ins and no cameras caught the thief. After finding out what the thief would steal next he placed a tracker on it.
When the thief stole it Batman followed it to a graveyard. While staking it out he saw a young girl around 5-7 with violet eyes commanding a floating boy with white hair around the same age, to set up the stolen objects in a way that resembles a wedding.
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