spam-extemporal
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spam-extemporal · 24 hours ago
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Die with a Smile
For @anonymous-existences who asked for a "Die with a Smile" by Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga using Spirt Halloween ship. Hope you like it!
Danny remembers being alive, but it was a distant memory as if he had woken from a wonderful dream. He could recall no scents or tastes from his time being flesh and bone, but he remembered sights and sometimes, if he was lucky a few sounds.
The sound of his sister singing. His father's laughter. His mother's humming. His best friend's fingers tap on his keyboard. His other best friend's plants when the water of her watering can fell over their leaves.
Danny held all the sounds dear to his heart, even if he could not remember their names or voices. Just their faces, smiles, and the warmth in their eyes before the car accident. Danny had been a Halfa from the age of fourteen, but twenty years later, he had died in a collision caused by a drunk driver, turning into a complete ghost.
Like all his previous adversaries, Danny could no longer return to the human world willy-nilly. He had reformed after he died in the Zone, becoming one of its citizens, anchored to the Realms between Death and Life.
He needed a gateway made by a mortal who willingly invited him through. All natural portals were nice, but it was a one-way. Anyone could pass through them to the Realms, not vice versa.
His parents had unknowingly created an open invitation when they stabilized their portal, allowing ghosts to run a rampage in the city. Danny doesn't remember why they had made it, but he wishes it was still there so he could see them again.
So that he could feel the deep love so evident in the glimpses and flashes of their faces that ran through his mind. He couldn't find his way back, so he spent years looking. He was one of the few ghosts that had no anchored haunt. Danny spends all eternity flying through the Realms in search of the love that he had once felt.
He lost count of how long ago that was. But along the way, he picked up other various wonders.
A bag that opens to his pocket of cosmos is flung over his shoulder. A long cloak that protected him from the scorching heat, freezing blizzards, howling winds, and drowning rain. A glimmering book that recorded his adventures in the consultations. And many new friends who have been in the Realms for so long they had developed their own culture and given birth to generations that knew nothing of the mortal realm.
Danny's ghost's name had also faded from his mind, knowing he used to answer something when he was fourteen. He is grateful that his birth name stays with him, even if he does not know his surname.
He now went as the Wander. Always searching for something he did not know if he could hold, let alone own. Wander grew in power, for his death had brought along all the ectoplasm of his Halfa days, and while his travels were relatively peaceful, there were times he needed to fight his way through.
He has never been defeated.
That was Danny's experience now. Wander, find adventure, find friends, find new incredible sights, become saddened that the new things didn't match the love he set on a pedestal, and wander again.
Over and over. Never lingering for too long. Never belonging.
Just lost in the endless void of the Realms.
Then, Danny had run into him.
A human had fallen through a portal caused by unnatural means. It was due to being attacked by a monstrous tyrant that was threatening his world. Omega Beam radiation polluted the portal, and for a second, Danny had thought he had finally found a stable way into the human world.
But alas, when he approached it, an invisible force kept him from leaving the Realms. Its constant flickering and electrical crackles mocked him, even if the scene behind the portal depicted a broken world.
Danny wanted nothing more than to fly through the human world, feel all those fantastic emotions, and live again. He pushed and pushed against the force field; however, there was no open invitation. He could not pass through the portal.
The human that fell after being pushed by the sudden explosion could. Danny had caught him and nursed him back to health, and when he awakened, he was struck dumb by those intense, intelligent eyes.
Batman was the name the human gave him, and for a few months, that was what Danny called him. The way to his home, an Earth called Gotham, had closed as soon as the omega beams had vanished. Batman was beside himself, attempting to find another portal.
As the man was living without means of flight between islands, Danny offered to take him to a few natural portals. He warned him that even if he could enter said portals, there was no guarantee he would be back when he vanished.
Portals bend time and space. They may appear in the same spot, but it was also a gamble of when that would be. Batman had no care, taking Danny's offer, and the two went off on a new adventure.
The broken pieces of an endless city was the connection between the Realms and Batman's Gotham. It took some time before Batman admitted that the city they traveled through - as, for some reason, the city bounds stopped Danny's flight - was his beloved city. It was an exact duplicated, over and over again as time moved on in the mortal world; this one copied every new development without removing the old one.
It merely expanded right next to the old building. The natural portals across the range were unstable, lasting only a few seconds before Batman was forced to throw himself back into the Realm or he got stuck at the wrong time.
Batman left a clue at every stop the portal gave him, claiming one of his children would notice and help find a way to bring him home. Danny wasn't so sure, but if the human found comfort in the thought, he would not be the one to burst his bubble.
As for Danny, the familiar emptiness that came with the urge to move on never showed itself. He found comfort in the footsteps of Batman. He found glee in the laughter around the small fires they make in the destroyed streets, void of any color.
Danny had forgotten most colors, so used to the Grey's, blacks, whites and dark purples of the Realms but the way Batman spoke of it made him think back to the reds blues yellows and greens he had not realized he missed.
Slowly, his journal filled itself with nothing but the mortal he had found.
Batman survived on what little they could find in the broken streets of his colorless home. He seemed disgruntled by the silence of the repeating streets, the obvious signs of violence that never quite healed in his city.
After a while, Danny realized he felt whole again. As if a part of his soul had been returned. Batman did not bring him back to life, but he made him feel alive.
Danny informed him it meant the land was cursed, but that only earned him a cold glare and a sharp bite of beef jerky from a gas station with its window smashed in. Their travels continued, with Danny dreaming of the five sounds he could recall of his loved ones- he did not need food anymore as a ghost, but he did need sleep. His core required recharge- realizing a new sound had been added.
The sound of Batman's soft taps as he marched on, searching for a way home.
Danny created a new constellation for him. He named it the Lost Vengence. It seemed right, even if Batman rarely spoke.
A few months of them together, Batman had wandered into an air that exploded with green grass. He grasped for his belt, but whatever he was searching for wasn't there, and he fell to his knees screaming.
Danny, who hadn't breathed it in, had rushed him over to a crumbled hospital, strapping the human down and panicking over his state. He was no doctor, but if he left Batman alone to get help, leaving the area that didn't allow him to fly would take far too long, and Batman would die.
Already, his heart was beating too fast for a human. Danny had ripped off his strange mask, trying to get him out of the clothes covered in the green goo, but it didn't do much. All that was left was a human- a handsome human- screaming his head off.
Eventually, Danny realized that his journal may have the answer. He could not always remember what he recorded, but if he asked it to, it would pull up records of adventures he may have forgotten.
There was a method of passing on his healing that Frostbite once shared with him long before his death. He pressed his hands over Batman's chest, not with his palms but with his soul, and prayed the human would accept it.
A few minutes later, Danny's ectoplasm had sunk through the skin and cleaned out the effects of the strange grass. Batman slumped against the metal table, breathing heavily and sweating profoundly, but he stared up at Danny as if he were bestowing an angel.
Since ectoplasm was purely emotional, no words had to be shared between them to know Danny had wanted to save him more than anything. Had felt the way Batman made him feel complete.
"My name is Bruce Wayne," Batman had told him later that night while the pair looked through a mall that seemed to have been flooded. The water splashed against their mid-calfs, slowly picking their way through the new clothes that Bruce could wear.
His soft smile filled up to his core, and neither mentioned the way the distance between them closed or the fingers that laced together,but Danny knew he had found it.
What he had been searching for all these years.
Bruce would sometimes stop them in the nicer parts of his city- places that merely went out of business instead of being broken down- and treat him to the few things he had forgotten of the human world.
An ice cream parlor had been stripped clean, but the owners had left one fringe with three tubs of ice cream. As time was frozen, it was good to eat, and Danny realized that while he did not need food, he did enjoy it. Bruce was sensitive to the weather that changed every few hundred miles.
In the parts with ice and snow, he curled up on Danny's chest, protected by the cloak that expanded to cover them. In the fires, he was carried on Danny's back, the fabric of the cloak protecting him from burning while Danny's hair flickers snowflakes for him to breathe.
Other times, he merely liked holding hands because he, too, felt whole with Danny.
Then they came upon a part of town that belonged to Bruce's third youngest son. He called it the Nest, and a date and time was carved on the wall. His son had found a way to stabilize a portal, and he planned to pull Bruce back home.
The boy thought Bruce was trapped in the past, but his rescue would still work. Bruce could finally return to the humans.
He understood. Danny had lived his life. Now, it was time for Bruce to finish his.
"Will you go? Would you leave me?" Danny knew the answer to his questions the second he looked into Bruce's eyes. It cracked something deep inside, but he was not angry or feeling betrayed.
"I'm sorry," Bruce whispers, tracing his hand on the curve of Danny's cheek. The ghost leans on it, wishing, not for the first time that he had the sensation of touch again. He only gets brief impressions of something against him, but Danny can not feel the texture of Bruce's clauses.
The warmth of his skin.
"Don't be. This was the best part of my existence in a long time. You were everything that I had forgotten about love."
He knew humans were warm. He remembers a tiny moment when his sister's fingers in his hair comforted him.
But he could not remember what their warmth felt like.
Bruce's face crumbled before it softened. "I'm not gone yet. We have a few hours."
"Just three," Danny whispered, looking at the numbers on Bruce's watch. He had set a countdown to when Tim would activate the machine- the portal- that only called Bruce home. Since the boy did not know it wasn't a time issue but a different reality, he had unintentionally made it with only Bruce in mind.
The force keeping all ghosts like Danny in the Realms wouldn't let him enter.
"I know how I want to spend them." Bruce found a record player broken in the movie theater beside his son's shining new hideout. Apparently, it was the one that had been abandoned in Bruce's youth.
It played a lovely old, slow dance from the forties that echoed through the dusted room, surrounding them in its soft, wistful melody. Bruce guided Danny to the center of the stage- the only place not covered in dust or supplies- and carefully bent him into an elegant dip.
At that moment, Danny and Bruce were all that existed in the broken-ended city of Gotham's past.
A smile blooms on Danny's face, twirling around the man who caught him and guided him, saying without words how much he adored Danny. The unsaid words between them meant nothing in the face of their world ending, but their smiles made up for it.
Danny's book had fallen open at one point, his collected stars and cosmos flying out to surround the pair as they swayed and slowly danced. He felt the thumping of Bruce's heart against his chest, pressing closer to record the feeling in his core and soul.
Song after song. Step, spin, sway, dip, intelligent eyes that watched him with the same amount of wishful longing and bright, loving smile.
"I could die again," Danny told him, hands on Bruce's shoulders and the human hands on his hip.
"I am," Bruce whispered back as his clock started beeping. They had ten seconds left. "I want you to remember me with a smile."
"Of course." Danny leaned back only far enough that when he pushed his face against Bruce's, their lips sealed in a burst of incredible, indescribable sensations. All at once, it's like sounds, feelings, tastes, and sights rush back at him, making him feel as if life was being breathed back into him, only for it to vanish as Bruce's body slowly fades away.
He leans back after his hands pass through Bruce's body, no longer anchored enough in the Realms to hold, and gives him the brightest smile he can muster. Neither mentions the tears rolling down their faces as he whispers.
"The party is over, and our time on this Earth is through, but I'll love you. For all eternity. I always do when I think of those who are still alive." Danny watches him fade away in soft, gentle sparks that he would later gather and shift into stardust.
He places them in Gotham's skies so Bruce can have a tiny part of him, even though he cannot see it. Danny turns around and marches back towards the realms.
The Wander must find a new purpose.
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spam-extemporal · 2 days ago
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The Great Great Grandmother
Dpxdc Prompt #3
In the Wayne household it was well-known that Alfred Pennyworth's word was law. It was much less well-known the circumstances that their beloved butler had grown up it. Alfred was raised by his paternal grandmother, Danielle "Elle" Pennyworth, née Fenton.
While Danny's obsession with protection led him to stay in Amity Park until every tie he had to the place joined him in the Ghost Zone, Dani's obsession with freedom led her to do anything but stay in the same place.
She moved all over Earth, then to space, then to the realms, and finally to other dimensions. When Dani found herself stuck in a dimension very similar to her own, except a couple hundred years in the past, she knew Clockwork had something to do with it. She wanted to curse him out, her obsession was freedom and Dani did not do well caged.
It turned out to not matter too much because after a year or so trapped in the dimension Dani found herself going by the name Elle Pennyworth with a baby boy on the way.
Time flew by fast and her husband had died, content enough with his life that he didn't leave behind a ghost. Elle was heartbroken, but knew a peaceful death was what he wanted.
Her son had a son himself, Alfred was his name. Elle promised herself she would be the best grandmother she could be. That turned out to be a promise she had to fulfill sooner rather than later.
Her son and his wife had died only a couple of years after baby Alfred was born, disease apparently. It didn't take her long to notice that little Freddie had taken after her more ghostly half.
He was always appearing in places he wasn't supposed to and he was far more empathetic than most any human she had ever met. Elle taught him to control his more inhuman aspects and made sure that he would never forget etiquette.
"Being able to know how people are feeling is easy for those like us," she would tell him, "but knowing how to help those that aren't feeling well whether it be physical, mental, or emotional that's difficult."
"Why do we help them then?" Little Freddie would ask, before he knew the words she had spoken by heart and the answer to his own question was carved into his soul.
"Because difficult means there's something you're fighting for, and helping means that you care."
Alfred would repeat those same words to little Brucie when he was little and to all of his many many children. He would give a small smile as he said it, Granny Elle would love to know how much her great great grandchildren took after her brother.
He couldn't wait for Granny Elle and Great Uncle Danny to meet his many grandchildren. It would be a bit awkward to explain how they both still looked like they were in their teens though. Alfred only kept up the illusion of aging because he hadn't found a good time to tell his family he wasn't as human as they thought.
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spam-extemporal · 2 days ago
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Au where Jason Todd is sacrificed to the King of the Infinite Realms and, upon realizing Danny isnt actually interested in human sacrifice nonsense, immediately shoots his shot
Like this man has been reading romance novels for as long as he can remember and he absolutely refuses to let this set up go to waste. He has a strange new world, a kind but powerful king, a castle, and big ass fucking library right there.
Too bad his family didn’t get the memo and reverse summoned him back too early.
———
Jason: *finally seduced Danny and is about to initiate the “frantic sex after weeks of pining” portion of the plot*
Jason: *is summoned back*
Jason: *has hickies all over his neck, claw marks down his back, unzipped pants, and no belt*
Jason: …
Jason: I hate all of you, you cockblocking motherfuckers. I had him right there! I could have been his husband. HUSBAND!!!!!
Bruce:
Tim:
Dick: …looks like you’ve been having a better few weeks than we have.
Damian: Father, I believe this is sufficient proof for removing Todd from the family.
Jason: IF YOU FUCKING WAITED I COULD HAVE HAD A DIFFERENT ONE
Tim: sorry that we worried about you being at the mercy of an all powerful ruler of the dead???
Jason: *sighs with heart eyes* god I fucking wish. His eyes are so pretty when he’s angry 💕
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spam-extemporal · 2 days ago
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Damian
“Damian, don’t you want to see your surprise? I think you’ll love it.” He grinned maliciously as he gestured for someone to step forward.
Damian’s breath was caught as one of the ninjas from grandfathers guard stepped forward and crouched into a fighting stance with their sword. Everything about them was entirely too familiar. Grandfather was saying something but the ringing in his ears was making it hard to understand.
“— happened? We found him and now he’s back home. Don’t you want to come back and see him Damian?” Grandfather had walked up to the figure as he was talking. Reaching a hand up, he pulled the half mask down to reveal their face.
His chest was aching now as he listened to his family behind him taking in the scene. Even as he shifted into his own battle stance it felt like his face and hands had been dipped in static. He was sure he wasn’t getting oxygen adequately but still he couldn’t take his eyes off what could have been a mirror image of himself if he’d never left the league. From the hair and the outfit, to the burning green eyes glaring back. He knew however, he wasn’t looking at a clone. He was looking at his worst nightmare, something that the pits had brought to life.
He felt a hand drop down on his shoulder and he flinched. A quick glance at the blue stripes have the culprit up as Richard but the familiar comfort he usually got from his adopted brother never came. He clenched his jaw to steady himself. There was no way grandfather had done what he was thinking. This has to be a clone or something else being used to entice him back to the league.
“Grandfather, I fail to see what use another clown could be. I would think that after the first attempt of using clones failed you would try a different method.” He made sure to sound as bored as possible, knowing how his grandfather played with emotions. His grandfather seemed to be amused if anything.
“I would not bring you a mere clone Damian. Is it the green eyes throwing you off? It’s merely a side effect of the pits as you well know.” Here he shot a pointed look towards Redhood. “Don’t you recognize your own twin?”
The ringing was back.
“He simply needed a quick dip in the pits before he was willing to listen. Here lately the aggression has been quite handy.” Grandfather stepped back at the same time he let go of the figures shoulder. “Cosmas, why don’t you go ahead and show your brother what he’s missing out on in the league?”
Damian’s eyes quickly snapped back to the boy as he started moving. Pulling out a blade that looked shockingly similar to his brother’s—his real, dead, twin brother’s—sword. With the way his eyes were glowing, Damian couldn’t tell any emotions coming from him. He quickly unsheathed his matching sword as he watched the figure—his brother— smirk.
Danny
Danny was shocked.
Surprised.
Absolutely flabbergasted.
Never had he imagined this scenario for himself and he’s been through some pretty wild shit!
Okay, so to start out his eyes are glowing green due to being literally dunked in rancid ectoplasm like ten time. Which is just ew. He was also forced to change into an old league uniform, given his old sword, and then pretty much pushed out in front of the bats of Gotham within a day of him being taken.
WAS GRANDFATHER CRAZY??
Obviously grandfather didn’t know about Phantom or he’d be in a lot deeper shit. To be completely honest, he just wanted to go along with this to see Damian again but now he’s supposed to fight the bats? That’s so not happening, Danny enjoyed his half-life. Sure it was overrun by beings trying to kill him but when was that any different than what it was in the league.
Obviously, grandfather just wanted him to die again—
“—recognize your own twin?” Danny’s ears twitched as he heard that, snapping his gaze to the figure squaring up across from him. That was Damian? He looked so…calm. The Damian that Danny was used to had an eternal stick up his ass that made his face look like he was scowling 24/7. Maybe the mask helped with that. Huh.
“Cosmas” Ancients he hated that name. “Why don’t you go ahead and show your brother what he’s missing out on?” He felt grandfather taking a few steps back.
Danny internally scoffed as he went to take out his sword—HIS SWORD!!—that had recently been given to him.
‘Like I’ll ever help you out you senile fruitloop’ Danny smirked as he thought it ‘You just made yourself useless.’
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spam-extemporal · 2 days ago
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prompt for dcxdp fic
GK!danny meets the JL and (due to magic users not being in the room) they offend him by threatening/patronising him or asking insensitive questions like how he died. Danny still wants some contact/alliance to help deal with the GIW, but doesn't wanna deal with mortal idiots rn. So he sends Dan in his place for his "community service" aka redemption arc.
Basically I really wanna see Dan dealing with the magically incompetent league and scare the shit out of them.
Bonus if Danny sends a letter along the lines of "Due to negative prior relations and differing priorities, all further communications will be conducted via my brother, as part of his mandatory community service. I advise against angering him, as he is on probation for genocide of a mortal realm. Good luck."
I just think it would be funny.
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spam-extemporal · 2 days ago
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DPXDC Prompt: Speedrunning romance Part 1
TW: Decapitation, Joker's death
Jason was being held hostage by the Joker. He immediately wanted to kill him, but currently, he was in his civilian form, and he hated he couldn’t act on his urges.
The dude beside him who was kidnapped as well by accident bc some goons who weren’t aware that his identity as Jason Todd had been brought back from the dead thought that the twink was Jason Todd rather than a tank looking man.
Right now, the guy was being suicidal, taunting the Joker by saying that "he isn't a clown bc at least clowns are funny! Meanwhile, you're just a joke!"
He insulted, taunted and joked around, but then Jason noticed he tried to keep the attention on himself and not Jason, the 'main dish'.
Then, the guy taunted Joker even more by revealing that he removed his handcuffs and playing around with it.
Having enough, Joker lunged at the guy, infuriated, especially since he was being humilated live.
The guy, not expected it, stepped backwards and tripped on his chair. And along the way, accidentally decapitated the Joker that way.
It was unbelievably dumb and something you wouldn’t expect at all.
The guy reached out towards Joker, like he was scrambling to find balance as he tripped back on the chair. He fell backwards, his hands pulling on Joker's head while his feet were pushing Joker's body, accidentally severing Joker's head from his body.
Everyone in the warehouse and those watching live pause in disbelief. Not able to react.
The dude got up sheepishly, only to realise he was holding a head. He stared at the head, then the body, then the body.
"Uhhh...." He stammered before helping Jason out of his confines and handed him the head.
"For you?" The guy said, as if he doesn't even know why he was handing a random guy someone's decapitated head.
Jason clutched the head to his chest like a maiden clutching flowers given to her. He ignored the blood staining his clothes bc the blood only made it all real.
His nightmare had finally come to an end, and Joker died a humiliating death. Even B couldn't blame him for the absolute accidental death.
"Marry me." He breathed out.
The response he got was a pretty red face and sputtering by the guy.
Happy New Years Everyone! Hope everyone is having fun!
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spam-extemporal · 2 days ago
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Fake it till you make it, Star City Kitchen edition.
Danny, outed to the government as a ghostly entity, is not only wanted by the government but unable to find work because of that.
Sam gave him money to help him escape, but an unfortunate run in with more than one gang of meta traffickers blew through that in an instant.
He needs a job. He needs to find a place to sleep.
He decides to answer an ad in a newspaper, for a personal chef for an unnamed person. Is it sketchy? Yes. Is it very likely to be under the table with no government checks? Also yes.
Besides, if it turns out to be someone bad, he can just go invisible and disappear for a bit. It'll be...unfortunate, cuz he'll have to steal what he needs, but it's doable.
He arrives at the meeting place, and there's a car waiting to pick him up.
Okay.
He gets in the car. Secondary location, here he comes.
It drives to a mansion.
Oh no.
It's Oliver Queen.
Oliver Queen put up that ad.
Oliver Queen takes one look at him, hums, and says that Danny is absolutely what he was looking for. That Danny just looks like how a chef should look.
Five minutes later, Danny finds himself in a kitchen larger than his old house, internally panicking and scrolling as fast as he can through cooking lessons on youtube.
Turns out, Danny's got a knack for cooking.
Like, he's actually pretty phenomenal at it.
If the food isn't trying to come back to life and eat him, once he's got the basics down, it's pretty easy to throw together a meal.
~~~~~~
Oliver, sleep deprived and injured, meant to ask Stan to make him something to eat.
Somehow he failed step one of just texting the man, and ended up reaching out to and placing an ad in a local newspaper for a personal chef.
Naturally, when someone answers it, he decides to get them over to his place so he can apologize for his stupidity and pay them the money they lost wasting time going to him.
Except that's a kid.
A dirty, unkempt, homeless teenager.
And...fuck.
Look, Oliver isn't a complete and total jackass, and it's not like the kid can mess up much if he's in the kitchen, of all places.
So he pretends like the ad is legit. Throws the kid in the kitchen.
Accidentally finds out that the kid wasn't fucking lying about being a good chef that was out of practice, holy shit? This food is so good????
Looks into the kid's background, quietly.
...
And in true Green Arrow fashion, uncovers a government conspiracy.
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spam-extemporal · 2 days ago
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a dc superhero pretends to be OSHA to gain access to the Fenton’s lab and the door is slammed in their face, multiple explosions and crashes are heard including "SCATTER! REMEMBER YOUR TRAINING KIDS!" and the ops centre flies away
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spam-extemporal · 2 days ago
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Streamer Danny AU, but he’s a really minor streamer. Like, he does it mainly just for his own fun and only has a few intermittent viewers.
But somehow Jason finds his channel anyway, and something about his voice is captivating. The pit rage quiets down in his presence. So he starts tuning in to basically every stream, or just putting on the VODs in the background to fall asleep to.
And on the other side, Danny takes note of this new subscriber who’s quite possibly his first truly dedicated viewer. So he starts interacting with him on stream sometimes - greeting him when he shows up in the chat, specifically asking/answering questions, etc
Needless to say, this did not help Jason’s growing semi-parasocial crush in the slightest…
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spam-extemporal · 2 days ago
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DCxDP Fic Idea: Lex Luther's annoyance
Vlad Masters is....a pain. Not in the usual elite way Lex is used to. Not the empty-headedness of wealthy men like Bruce Wayne or annoyingly humanitarian like Oliver Queen.
Masters was annoying in the confusing kind. He was new money who danced around Lex's manipulations as if they were mere flies. He never gives Lex a reason to take him out but always leaves the bald man feeling weary.
Unsettled. Unsure.
The effect Masters had on him was irritating. Lex Luthor doesn't get unsure.
Luthor's family money came from his father, but it was Lex who turned the moderate company into one of the biggest powerhouses in the world. He was ruthless, always three steps ahead of his peers, using his clever mind to his every advantage.
Lex prides himself in being the danger in plain sight. He charmed kings and politicians alike, carefully placing a controlling hand on the back of their necks with each casual joke or helpful investment. Wherever Lex went, it wouldn't be long before he gained control of the floor and moved his pieces on the board to his liking.
That was if Vlad Masters wasn't in attendance.
Masters rarely join in high-class events- why should he? He was wealthy, of course, but nowhere near Lex's level. He just didn't run in the same circles- but whenever he did, it was like a rock being thrown in Lex's clam river. No matter where he was, Lex found his eyes tracing the underwhelming cut of Masters's suit (Easily one of the cheapest ones there) or catching the man's gaze that hid barely concealed amusement.
That was another thing. All social rules and etiquette indicated that Masters should be chasing after Lex's attention and approval or, at the very least, feel nervous in his presence. Masters acted like Lex was a part of the background, never impolite but never dazed or impressed.
Equals in a way that made Lex's stomach lurch in anxiety.
He has met some people who thought themselves better than Lex through arrogance, but none have taken one look at him and deemed him unimportant. It was as if Lex were just another man walking down the street who was only worthy of getting a passing greeting.
As if the man had a presence at all. Lex was often the man of the hour, and Masters was the guy nursing a drink by the wall, watching the crowd with a calm, nearly detached expression.
Masters was known for being a rather dull wealthy man, only seemingly interested in conversations if it was about his precious football team or random scientific discoveries. Seeing as he made his wealth through scientific discoveries, it was understandable that he knew an awful lot about them.
However, besides being a fantastic investor and stock buyer, Masters didn't have a single social bone in his body.
Lex had witnessed him flout through galas, parties, art galleries, and political rallies without a hint of displeasure or pleasure. Always engaged in conversations, but only if someone approached him first. He would often be seen admiring the decor, as though he was visiting a museum rather than networking or losing himself in a vice-like alcohol or bed partners.
It was almost as if these grand events that others killed to get an invitation were mere walks in a lovely garden for him. A break from whatever hectic life he lived.
Except that after having his people look into it, Masters didn't have a hectic life. He barely had one. No matter how much Lex dug into his background, besides that one accident that landed him in a hospital in college, Masters's life had been a pretty average rise from rags to riches through his hard work and intelligent mind.
A wealth that would likely only be passed down two generations with no hints of wanting to raise it like Lex had. No hints of ambition for something greater. No hints of nefarious schemes or back-alley deals. No hints of any sort of crime.
Just a man who wasn't amazed by Lex's world of wealth.
Lex hated how utterly boring he found the man and yet, how his eyes always followed him through the room, fascinated by how Masters didn't make any sesne. It was irritating how Masters didn't even have to do anything to grab Lex's attention; just walking by had him nearly tripping over his own two feet to watch him.
He didn't even know why he wanted to watch Masters. He wasn't even that handsome! His long silvery hair tied in a perfect tail, his slightly dry-looking skin, the dark circles under his eyes, and that teeth-gritting accent of his.
He didn't even know why Masters sounded like an upper-class British man. He was born in Wisconsin!
What did he take voice acting lessons to craft an accent? (Lex's checked. He didn't. Masters is just like that. It made his heart beat like Superman was about to burst into his office. He called his doctor to check if he's developed a heart condition)
The worst part was the way Master lingered in his mind, sitting at the back of it with inane questions like: What was he doing? Does he like chocolate or vanilla more? Why has he tried to buy the Parkers from Green Bay ninety-five times?
It made him look like a fool. No one made Lex Luthor look like a fool.
In a fit of madness, Lex had ordered Mercy to blacklist Masters from any parties they would host. He could not stand to have that man throw him off his game a second longer.
It worked for about three months, and Lex did not have to suffer from stomach twisting or heart hurting due to the sudden increase in heart rate. Then he ran into Masters at a Wayne Gala of all places where the man was dressed like an idiot with his pure black-on-black outfit only to throw on a Packer's scarf.
It looked so stupid that Lex had to hide in the men's bathroom for an hour after spotting the man chatting quietly with Wayne's butler. He could not describe why that stupid green and gold scarf had nearly brought him to his knees.
According to Mercy, who had eavesdropped, Masters' mother was from England, which explains his odd accent. She didn't quite judge him openly, but Lex could read the subtext of her stare as she reported everything Masters did at the gala.
He danced to one song with Bruce Wayne. Lex had nearly broken his hand when he punched the way to the bathroom.
The night after Waynes' gala, Lex lifted Masters' ban because he missed the rather dull man's presence. This gala had been the season's highlight, and compared to the other various parties, Lex had found himself feeling something besides boredom or contempt.
The next time Lex saw Masters was at a charity five months later. Once again, Masters was wearing his black suit, but this time, he had a silver undershirt and a ridiculous red bowtie. Lex had spent five hours changing outfit after outfit, trying to find the most flattering one, and Masters had the audacity to wear a red bowtie.
"He looks good," Lena says, eyes drinking in Masters, leaning on a wall with a blue drink in hand and gazing over the dancers. Lex felt like hurling up when Masters' lips twitch up into a grin as a man stumbles by with his unimpressed dance partner. "You should ask him to dance."
"No," Lex bites out, feeling sick. "Why would you even say?"
Lena shares a look with Mercy before muttering, " It's almost pathetic how he doesn't know how to handle his feelings."
"What was that?"
"You're pathetic," She says with an eye roll. She grabs Mercy's hand and drags her to the dance floor, though his bodyguard sends him a look, asking for permission. He waves his hand, knowing his sister would bite his head off if he stopped her from dancing with her girlfriend, even if she was currently on the clock.
" I'm not pathetic. I can make a living clone with my own DNA." He grouches, glaring at her as she twirls under Mercy's arm.
"You can?" The familiar accent has Lex jumping a foot in the air. He spins around only to look down into Master's blue eyes. Lex had always noticed that he was a head taller than the other man, but it was one thing to know on paper and another to see in person.
He felt like Masters' blue gaze had grabbed him by the throat. "What?"
"You make clones?" Masters repeat, eyes alight with delight. "I've dabbled in that technology myself. I have a daughter, thanks to it."
Lex stares, feeling off-footed. "You're married?"
"Oh no, no." Masters laughs, though Lex can pick up a hint of anger from the curve of his jaw. "I'm a single father. My daughter happens to have some characteristics of her DNA donors, but she's mine entirely."
"I see." Lex suddenly feels like every social skill he's ever developed has evaporated. Or, at the very least, all of his brain cells because why else would he have blurted out, "I have a son. He's my clone with another man."
"Oh, congratulations. You and your husband-"
"No! I'm single. I mean, I'm not married. I was never married. In fact, it's been a long time since I've been in a relationship. So long I think I forgot how they are supposed to go." Lex cuts in, nearly spilling his drink as he shakes his hand. Masters' fae clouds with amusement, and Lex realizes he's been talking for too long.
"Well, it's hard to date while being a single parent." Masters hums before smiling, and Lex feels like Superman has just punched him through a wall without wearing his power suit. "Science is a wonderful thing, isn't it? To allow us to have our children."
"I suppose"
Masters ponders something before he holds out a card. "My daughter has always wanted to meet others like her. Would you and your son care to join us for dinner if it's not too much trouble?"
Lex thinks he makes a sound of confirmation, and just as he appears, Masters vanishes. He walks into the crowd, disappearing from sight, taking his mind-numbing, amused eyes and his stupid bow tie.
It takes him a moment to realize the card has Masters' phone number. Lex stares at the seven digits, feeling like he's freefalling and he's seconds away from being sick. He stumbles to a chair, falling into it without his usual grace.
Mercy is at his side in seconds, eyeing him wearily as Lena touches his shoulder. "Lex? You okay?"
"I have...to make a call." He hears himself say, stumbling for his phone. With shaking hands, he taps on a contact, bringing the device to his ear and listening to it ring. It takes five rings before it's picked up, and a voice bites out.
"What?"
"Conner." He starts, hands still shaking slightly. "Are you free this Friday?"
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spam-extemporal · 2 days ago
Note
*anger management after listening to epic*
Jason:
Jazz:
Jason:
Jazz:
Jason: Ja-
Jazz: Yes I would still love you after waiting for decades, and you came back with a kill count to high to count, your friends death on your conscience, and covered in blood of hundreds of men
Jason:....
Jason: I was going ask to ask if you would still love me if I was a worm
Jazz: Yes, to that to
LMFAO
Jazz: … Would you love me as a worm?
Jason: I would build you the most protected worm enclosure in the entire universe, give you the most freshest, cleanest soil, feed you the best worm foods and whenever I meet someone new, I would introduce you as my girlfriend. And then I would find whoever cursed you, brutally torture them, and if you don’t get back to being human, I’ll feed the worm you his remains. But then I’d also get myself cursed as a worm and give the box to Alfred so we can live the rest of our wormy lives together.
Jazz: *both appalled and more in love* …. You tell me the sweetest things…
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spam-extemporal · 2 days ago
Text
Holiday request: single dad
Bruce admits that he is unsure of the seriousness of his relationship with Daniel Fenton. He had never meant to run into the man after the parent-teacher conference. Yes, his introduction had a breath of fresh air, but Bruce was not naive.
It may have all been a trick, and Fentong was merely waiting to try to get closer to him or his money later on. He has always been optimistic about the good in man's hearts, but Bruce is also familiar with the equal darkness there.
That's why spotting the man in a busy cafe was such a shock. Bruce had gone on a walk between meetings, wanting something sweet to tie him over for the follow-up one.
He walked into a random family-owned place with a spicy smell. Bruce had been browsing the menu when he heard the soft melody for Fairy Tale Ending by Dumpty Humpty. Looking around a pillar, he found Daniel Fenton bobbing his head to the music while tapping away on his old beat-up laptop.
The cashier sees him staring and smiles apologetically. "We don't usually have people here, so we let him play his music. If it bothers you, I can ask him to get his headphones on."
"Oh no. I actually like the band." He assures her, paying for his drink and dropping a ten in her tip jar. He glances at Fenton again, then points, "What is he drinking?"
"Gingerbread Latte and a chocolate croissant," She responds easily, and at that moment, Bruce knows she hasn't recognized him. Not that he expects everyone on the street to point him out in a crowd, but it does mean she won't take pictures of him.
She doesn't know the photos could get her some money from down-on-their-luck gossip rags. He considers Fenton a little longer before nodding at her. "Can I have a gingerbread Latte? The exact same as his."
"You got it."
Bruce doesn't know what urges him to approach Fenton with the two drinks- though the cashier giving him a wink might have clued him in and clears his throat just as Fenton gets to the chorus. Blue eyes blink up at him. "Oh, Mr. Wayne. Hi."
"Good afternoon," Bruce starts, which causes Fenton to snort. With good-natured humor, he grins up at Bruce, and Bruce feels his intrigue rise just a few notches higher.
"Good afternoon to you as well, milord." The man says, one hand over his chest, bending his neck a little in a mock bow. "Has thy golden carriage brought to thy to me?"
"Having a golden carriage is a privilege for only the Roayl family. My carriage is made of silver, I assure you." Bruce laughs, stepping closer. This is different from the cashier. Fenton knows who he is, but he simply doesn't care.
Bruce is merely Bruce to him instead of the wealthiest man in the city and the country. It's....well, it's liberating, like being reminded that there are good and wonderful things still left in life. If this is how Fenton makes him feel only after the second meeting, what else could Bruce experience if he formed a bond with him?
Fenton's eyes catch the extra drink Bruce holds, lighting up when the other man offers it to him. He accepts the cup, offering the chair opposite from him. When Brue sits down, he asks about what he was writing where. Fenton admits to being a fantasy novelist and moves the conversation to what they enjoy reading.
Bruce arrived late to his next meeting but felt lighter, and a phone number scribbled on the back of his hand just like when he was a teenager and traveling states away to attend Dumpty Humpty Concerts.
The rest, like they say, is history.
Danny had quickly become a part of his life. It was odd how giggly the other man made him feel. Danny was a good balance to Bruce's brooding. Ironically, while Bruce believed the best in humans, keeping a calm center persona, Danny was cynical and bubbly. He assumed people were terrible, but there was no reason to give them any mind, and he was unapologetic for being himself.
After their third date, Bruce has worked up the nerve to ask Danny to be his boyfriend, only to have the other man laugh. "I thought we were boyfriends?"
"I didn't want to assume."
"Well, aren't you a gentleman? Look at those soft hands. You've never seen a day of work. Gentle-handed man," Danny teased while watching the people around them. Bruce knew there wasn't any real danger, but Danny had a habit of watching their surroundings in public places.
He didn't like being caught unaware. Bruce thinks he's in love. The thing is, Bruce has thought that before, and every single time, his relationship had fallen through.
He had a hand in it, but that didn't mean his partners never broke his heart one way or another.
But this time, things would be different.
Dick had pointed it out when he ran into the two at the grocery store. Danny had invited him to help pick out dinner while Dani had been on an overnight field trip at the planetarium. His eldest had cornered him when he returned the next day, smiling widely.
"Danny seems excellent. He's like an undercover goth dating an undercover prep. You both are literally the opposite of each other and seem to like spending time around each other."
Bruce wasn't entirely sure whether it was a bad or good thing, but he was happy that his kids approved of him dating again. He did get a little nervous about Damian, only to find out his youngest had come to idolize Dani, and that only made him hope the relationship would work out even more.
He could see it now, Danny tapping away on his laptop while Dani painted next to him in the Wayne Manor yard- Both preferred to be in nature- on cozy weekends. His children crowding the breakfast table while Danny sang songs from bands he'd never heard.
Birthday candles are being blown out with the cheering family. Christmas mornings followed the candle lighting of Hanukkah on the previous eight nights. Graduation ceremonies that will bring Bruce to tears despite claiming he has trained too hard to do so. Boyfriends and girlfriends, the two could tag team into scaring while their children regretted ever bringing them over for an introduction.
Danny would be the last thing he saw when he closed his eyes before bed and the first thing he saw in the morning light.
Bruce wasn't sure how their relationship was going, but he hoped, oh, he hoped.
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spam-extemporal · 2 days ago
Note
Heyo! I've been loving the content! Especially new management, that was a phenomenal read. Was wondering if you had further thoughts or scenes on it or on the Single Dad Au? I think the only story I like better than these two is congratulations, it triplets!
Adore your work! Phenomenal!
Damian did not trust Daniel Fenton.
The man pretended like he wanted nothing from his Father besides his heart—not his wealth, not his influence, not his company, and not even his vast amount of skills.
Even Damian's mother—who was in love with Father for a time—could not conceal the knowledge that marrying Father would elevate her position in Grandfather's eyes. There was a time when Damian believed love—the romantic type—was not real, that it was unnecessary.
Since his arrival at Wayne Manor, he's learned to acknowledge that love does exist, but he still believes it's never unconditional. He knows that Fenton has to be after something. He attempted to find the answer, but as loath as he was to admit it, Damian had not detected any hit of what Fenton was after.
His hours of surveillance on the man only showed him that Fenton enjoyed writing for his silly little book series- a fantasy novelist how quant- but was self-published and did not attempt to get father to fund him
. Fenton also spent much time with his daughter but seemed happy to support her in anything she wanted as long as she put in the effort, so he was not after Father influenced her. Fenton had no interest in Wayne Enterprises, often looking a tad bored whenever Father spoke of it- not dismissive, just lost- which meant he wasn't after the company.
He discovered that Fenton lived modestly despite having a decent amount of funds. He was middle class and seemed rather happy to stay in the middle class.
Damian would have looked deeper into Fenton, but Father had caught on to his surveillance and had forbidden him from scaring away his lover. Knowing that he required backup, Damian had called a sibling meeting.
He was expecting better results than them just speaking about the benefits of Fenton and Father dating. They should focus on how to defend Father's heart once Fenton's true intentions become visible.
It wasn't that Fenton didn't love Father- or getting there- but he would have a darker side to him that Father was unprepared for. Damian was sure of it.
He just needed to find it.
That's why he approached the man's daughter. Indeed, she would open the opportunity to get closer to the man after his father without using his training to follow Fenton. Father could not fault his brilliant walkabout.
Damian was just not prepared for her to be more tolerable than the regular fools in Gotham. She was a fellow artist with a love of nature and travel.
She took him to different parts of Gotham, where they could find animals and wonderful buildings to draw. Dani also always shared her music—he didn't want to listen, but it allowed him to build a profile on her—and he found she also had an application for classical covers of pop music.
Dani also seemed so unbothered by anything. She moved as if she had never been weighed down by any issues. She was weightless but not lost. Seeing someone so at peace with themselves was odd, so Damian sometimes forgot why he was spending time with her.
Sometimes, he just relaxed with her and spoke to her, and really, she was far better than the fools his Father took in.
Dani one day asked if he would go with her to the mall. She wanted some new clothes, and Damian found that her style was rather artistic. This style also caused many stares from those close to their age.
He watched as she walked through the street, owning it with her presence and powerful, unchained personality. Then she acted like she didn't even care, though she definitely knew it.
That is why when she offered to help him buy an outfit, Damian agreed with far too much enthusiasm before she finished. He even wore it out of the store, feeling...like he got close to her unchained freedom. He kept glancing into the reflection of mirrors, a rish of glee at how great he felt in clothes that he would have scoffed at.
He also appreciated how people gawked at them as if they were the most fascinating thing they had ever seen. Damina enjoyed following beside Dani's stride, grinning up at her as she told jokes.
"Dude, it's crazy to think that if our Dads get married, we'll be siblings," she says one day, and Damian startles. She leans over, helping him adjust the beanie she got him, a more blurt red of her own, and Damian's eyes go very wide as she grins at him.
Damian's eyes go very wide.
He hadn't even thought of that.
He races home after she takes him to a slam poetry night, snapping her fingers with that interesting, peaceful, fully in-the-moment-without-stress personality of hers.
Damian kicks the door to Father's office and shouts, "Father, you must marry Daniel Fenton at once!"
He misses that Fenton is also there, sipping from a teacup. He'd never seen Father look that embarrassed before, either. Though Fenton seemed rather pleased, which helped his new quest of making Dani his new, much more enjoyable sister that left him in awe.
She promised to take him to her favorite store for more pastel goth outfits next week, too. Once her father marries in, they might turn it into a weekly thing.
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spam-extemporal · 3 days ago
Text
Holiday request: the audit
"What time is your bedtime?" Uncle demands just as Damian is about to go to Batcave to suit up. For a moment, he fights the urge to proclaim he doesn't have a bedtime because he is not a child. Then he remembers that Uncle had been the one to install the anti-child soldier rule in the League of Assassins.
He allowed them to be trained to defend themselves and the organization but not to be sent on missions or be trained to the point he claimed as "abusive." Uncle believed that the young of Infinity Island should be treated like children and that doing so was not a means of offense.
Instead, Uncle thought providing a peaceful and gentle childhood was a gift. Mother claimed it created weaklings, which is why Damian had pushed himself to this point of skill, but even she had known that her brother's wrath would fall upon her if her more intense training techniques were introduced to him too early.
Damian would like to believe he was one of the best in the League of Assassins, but he knew he wasn't. Uncle Daniel's rule made it hard for him to advance against larger opponents.
He could best everyone in his age group in controlled duels and sparring, and he stood a great chance against the idiots in Gotham streets, but only because none of them had any official training.
In the beginning of his life in Gotham, Damian consistently lingers in the background in battles against enemies such as Bane, Killer Croc, or Scarecrow. He was skilled enough to know he would be a liability if he attempted to take a point, but Father had quickly adjusted his training, and Damian was slowly but surely advancing in his skill set.
Mother would be pleased to learn he was better than the assassin's two age groups above him and that his pain tolerance hide rose. Uncle Daniel had likely noticed as well.
He knew it was due to all those hours out in the field of Gotham's darkest streets.
It had been one of the first things he had been displeased with Father over, and if he wanted his plan to work, he needed to make the sacrifice.
"Nine o'clock," he grumbles, crossing his arms. "Nine thirty if it's not a school day."
Uncle Daniel smiles proudly, leaning back into the doorframe of Father's office. The rest of Father's brood stands around looking confused as Uncle shoots Father a smug look, only to frown at Father's glee. Even someone as great as his uncle had thought Father wanted them on the field.
Not that they had all forced his hand. Damian should show him all the security his father had installed to keep him in the manor and the surveillance hours during which he broke through said security to fight crime.
In fact, Damian should asked Drake if he still had the video where Father had shouted at the top of his lungs, "For the last time, just STAY HOME and let me handle the EXTREMELY dangerous hostage situation, kids!"
Only to slap a hand over his face when Brown had taunted him through the coms. "You can't tell us what to do!"
"Yeah, B, you must learn to control your children." Todd's mockery was nearly drowned out by the sound of gunfire. "We're out of control."
"Damian can not stay home alone," Father says, snapping him from his thoughts. He's glancing at the other idiots in the room, who are all making faces, but this is just the opportunity Damian has been waiting for.
He's not about to let them ruin it with their stupid demand to join Father in the field.
He raises his chin, blurting out his demand. "If we all stay behind, Uncle Daniel shall go with you, Father. To keep you safe."
Both men look butler disgusted, which is what prompts Drake to speak up. "You know Bruce? I actually feel a little under the weather today. Maybe I can stay with Damian, and Mr. Fetnon can go for me."
"That won't be necessary when Steph-"
"Oh shoot B! I have this really big essay due tomorrow, and I was going to stay on coms tonight while I worked on it. I can't go with you. Sorry"
Father appears desperate when he flings his eyes to Richard, who only shrugs. "Sorry, Cass and I are going undercover tonight at the new club. I can't watch your back while trying to get party college kids to tell me where the new drugs are."
"Jason-"
"No."
"I guess I have no choice." Uncle Daniel sighed as if this was all a big chore that Damian had thrown at him. "I'll make sure your incompetence doesn't get you killed. Let's go."
Father's teeth are gritting, but when the visitor steps closer to whisper in his ear, all the protest drains from his body, and he, too, sighs wearily. Damian wished he knew what was said between them, but his uncle had covered his mouth, so he could not lip read.
"Fine. But no killing." Father bites, and Uncle scowls
"I don't kill. I know how precious any life can be." He seers, getting into Father's face. He stabs his pointer finger in the middle of Bruce's chest, pressing down roughly on every syllable.
Damian is about to step in, recognizing the rising anger in his mother's brother, only to watch, in real-time, as Father seems surprised by the comment. Much to his hopeful glee a slight blush rises on the man's cheekbones, even as he turns around to moved the clock.
Uncle rolls his eyes before sinking into the ground as Father vanishes from sight. The office has a long silence before Brown breaks it with a nasty snort.
Utterly mannerless, that one.
"Oh, the sexual tension! They will definitely be fuc-" She cackles, only to pause when her eyes land on Damian as if she had forgotten he was there. Brown reached up to pet down her hair, clearing her throat. "They seem like good friends."
"What? I don't believe you understand. Father and Uncle can barely stand each other."
Drake snickers. "Barely stand"
"Enough," Richard speaks up, popping open the top two buttons on his shirt. It's part of his disguise to look as alluring as possible, though Damian doubts someone would give an idiot who can't correctly dress himself the time of day. "Let's leave Bruce and our house guest alone. We all have jobs, so Steph, get on coms, Tim, get some chicken soap, and Damian, get to bed."
"Wait, I'm not actually sick-" Drake protests, but Richard walks right through his protest. He pushes the idiot out of the office and marches him down the hall toward the kitchen.
Damian watches them go before glancing over his shoulder to where Brown vanishes from sight down the pole to the Batcave in a flash of yellow hair. He nearly joins her, but Uncle would have his head when- and it would be when, not if- he found out he wasn't sleeping.
He still has a year to get them together. He must make sacrifices that wound his pride, such as these. Damian pouts to his room but changes into his sleepwear and brushes his teeth anyway.
His bedtime is only ten minutes away.
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spam-extemporal · 3 days ago
Text
Holiday request: cluster of cores
Roy jerks awake, hand flying to his bow while leaping up from his bed in the same motion. He swings his eyes around his dark room, taking in the familiar shadows of his desk, nightstand, drawer, and TV stand. Nothing seems out of place; there is no indication someone is in the room or has been in the room, but he still draws back the sting of his bow.
He shifts his feet, willing his heart to slow down and his breathing to even out, as he listens to the cool breeze of his curtains fluttering, accompanied by the wind chimes Danny had asked to set up in the backyard porch, one floor below him.
Jason's house has a decent yard, not the same spacious length as his old suburb house, but it was big enough that they could fit a grill, a trample for the girls, and five-yard chairs around a table.
His fingers flex around the arrow, its sleek metal soft against the curve between his pointer and middle, and its familiar weight helps ground him.
It takes him a moment to realize the noise that had ripped him out of his dreams was not an intruder or someone coming to get revenge on him and his family. It wasn't even the numerous windchimes- when they had first installed them, Roy regretted taking the guest room facing the yard, struggling to fall asleep from all the noise.
It wasn't even Lian who had still to outgrow that habit of flipping herself in her sleep. She was still asleep on the bed, now horizontal instead of vertical position she had fallen asleep when the two tucked in for the night. Earlier that night, she had woken him by throwing her little foot across his face.
He'll likely have a questionable bruise that the gossiping old ladies at the nearby family market won't ignore.
Roy relaxes, lowering his bow when he realizes what woke him up. It was the sound of a wailing baby. Dan or Danika were throwing a fit- he guesses it was likely Dan as that twin had the hardest sleeping through the night.
He places the bow back over the head of his bed, securing it on the hooks before carefully covering Lian with the blanket. He lets her stay in her horizontal spot, smiling at the way her hair flares around her head because, at that moment, she looks so much like her mother, and it hurts.
Though her wide open mouth and ungraceful snores are all features she got from him. Jason once took a picture of them both during a nap, laughing at how the Harpers slept with their right hand above their heads- easier grab of the bow- and the other by their faces in a tight fist.
He doesn't bother throwing on a shirt as he carefully slips into the hallway and scurries to Danny's guest room. Jason is out again, defending his territory from a new upstart, attempting to chip away at his east control.
Both had agreed that Danny didn't need to know what exactly Royor Jason did in their line of work or their exact connection- if the fragile, mistrusted alliance with Justice League could be called that- was in terms of housing him. All the Daxamite knew was that they were housing him in an undisclosed safe house while working on his asylum citizenship against his home planet.
This meant that when one of them needed to go out as Red Hood or Red Arrow, the other had to stay behind and act like nothing was happening. Danny had made comments that hinted to him thinking the two were also in the JL-protected program.
It was a good way to earn his trust, so they never popped his bubble. Thankfully, Lian had been training since she was young to keep her family secret from what her Daddy did at night.
He knocks gently on the adjured door, pushing it forward just a little to peer into the room. He finds Danny pacing back and forth, rocking Dan- he called it!- desperately in his arms as the infant wailed. Danny's hair was sticking all over the place; he looked dead tired on his feet, exhaustion weighing down his face in the same way it did all new parents and his bathrobe was hastily thrown on, slipping off his too-slim shoulders.
The fabric ended in the middle of his thighs, indicating he was pm;y in his briefs under his robe again. Roy had walked into Danny's room one night after hearing both children screaming for food, only to discover that the alien had gotten overheated, not yet used to the heat of moist Gotham, and had stripped to his underwear to stay comfortable.
Jason told him repeatedly that they could afford any cooling system he wanted. Still, Danny seemed worried about turning on fans or air conditioning after spotting the electric bill on the dining room table. It didn't help that the man was an ice core constantly melting.
"Are you okay, Danny?" He asks as the man sings a lullaby to calm his son. It isn't working.
Poor thing looks near tears as Danny twists around to stare at Roy. "I don't know what's wrong. I fed him, I checked his diaper, I tried burping him, I gave him an ecto hug, but he won't stop crying."
"Boy, do I remember those nights? May I try something?" He asks, stepping into the room, holding out his hands, and giving the alien plenty of time to draw back if he needed to. Danny nods, transferring the wailing infant into his arms.
Roy notices the way Dan draws his little feet up his chest, gasping for air and sobbing harder. After placing him in the crook of his arm, he runs his fingers across the tiny stomach, finding just what he's expecting.
"Dan has trapped gas." He tells Danny, who steps closer, looking both wild with worry and confusion. He offers the man a smile, taking his left hand and placing it on the wailing baby. "Feel how he's slightly bloated here? That's the gas. Lian had that a lot until her pediatrician taught me the "I love you" massage, we had a lot of sleepless nights too."
He moves them to the bed, placing the crying boy on his back and gently working on his stomach. It takes a few minutes of careful clockwise rubbing, but eventually, Dan lets out a soft grunt and a puff of air from his bum. Instantly, his tears dry, going boneless on the bedsheets, blinking big blue eyes as he calms.
"Hi buddy, that feels better, doesn't it?" Roy comes, leaning his face down towards the boy who scrunched his tiny face in what he accepts as a smile. Roy knows month-year-olds technically aren't making genuine smiles since they are mere reflexes, but he chooses to ignore science in that toothless little face.
Danny slumps against his back, leaning his forehead on Roy's shoulder.
"Thank you so much. I was almost at my wit's end." He mutters into Roy's skin, his soft black hair tickling Roy's neck.
Hmm, there is a hint of guilt in those sentences that the redhead can recognize easily. It's not easy being a new parent and admitting that you have no idea what you're doing but feel like you should.
He reached back to rub at the dark strands, ensuring his voice was as soft and as low as when addressing Dan. "Danny, can I tell you something from one father to another?"
He feels the man nod, likely not trusting himself to speak.
Roy smiles, still facing the infant that wiggles in place, eyes fluttering as he settles down to rest now that the discomfort is gone. "You're doing great."
Danny gasps, shaking a little as tears drip over Roy's skin. He pretends he doesn't notice as he rubs one hand over Dan's tiny stomach. Lian used to like it when he did that to comfort her and lure her to sleep back when she was a baby, too. He nearly preens when he notices it still works; the little boy is out like a light.
"Where-" Danny cuts himself off, swallowing the lump in his throat to start again. "Where is Jason? I heard him leave really late."
Suddenly, Roy is grateful he's not facing the alien as he scrambles to think of a lie. "He's at work!"
"At this hour? Or do humans have twenty-four-hour bookstores?" Danny asks, raising his head so his blue eyes peak over his shoulder and his voice less like it's on the verge of tears. This is why Roy doesn't do undercover work anymore. He can never properly improvise.
"We don't but the bookstore isn't the only place Jason works at." He blurts, thinking of what business stays open at ten in the morning. His mind flashes to his early twenties, and before he can think better of it, he finds himself blurting out, "He's a stripper. One of his co-workers called in sick, so he took his shift."
There is a moment of silence before Danny asks in an overly innocent voice, leaning more on Roy. This is terrible news for the archer because Danny is all but purring in his ear, sending shivers down his spine that should only be happening when Jason speaks. "What's a stripper?"
"It's um....someone who gets undressed...for money." He gasps, heat rising to his face as Danny hums, considering the words and flexing his fingers against Roy's arm that might have been appreciative of his biceps if it was anyone else doing it.
The Green Lantuns had warned Roy and Jason- as they were the ones taking care of Dani while Danny was in the coma- that Indigenous Daxamites were very physical when interacting with others because their kind used emotions as a means to feed their ectoplasm- the closest translation to the energy that ran through their veins was called.
Babies couldn't make them on their own, and while an adult could naturally pull them from the environment, nothing beats physical contact with their nest mates or, in human terms, people living in the same house. The emotions passed through skin contact were easier to filter than grab the energy off a plant, sun, or ground.
Danny still had a lot to heal from his stay in the hospital, so neither Jason nor Roy minded when he clung to them.
"We don't have that back on Daxam. The only way people see each other naked is if they want sexual satisfaction."
"Isn't it interesting how different planets are" Roy laughs nervously, leaping away from the bed and putting space between them. He can look Danny in the eye as his heart races in his chest. "Well! I best be getting to bed!"
He runs out of the room, ignoring Danny's impish laughter. Roy doesn't bother returning to his room, not with his daughter sleeping there. She had taken a room with Dani, turning it into a "forever sleepover," and only went to his room because of a nightmare.
Instead, he runs down to the first floor and gulps down three glasses of cold water. He feels unnecessarily hot out of nowhere. Roy catches his reflection on Jason's sleep stainless steel refrigerator, noticing the deep blush over his whole face and a bit on the tips of his ears, and is struck with earth-shattering questions.
Did he have a crush on Jason and Danny?
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spam-extemporal · 3 days ago
Text
Bank Robber: Fill up the bag!
Teller Danny: Excuse me?
Bank Robber: Fill up the bag and don't you dare try to press that panic button. I'll shoot!
Danny: My guy, this is a bank in a crime alley. There is no money here. At most you'll get like 4k.
Bank Robber: Shut up! Just fill it!
Danny: Wow, that's a lot of attitude for a man with 35 cents in his account
Bank Robber: What?
Danny placing straps of bills in bag: I know it's you, Martin. You have a speaking impediment. It's very characteristic.
Martin: So you can identifying me?
Danny: I can identify that you ain't got no money. Walking in here thinking you're hot shit with you 35 cents.
Martin: I can't have you telling the cops where I am *shoots Danny in the head*
Other Hostages: *Scream*
Danny pinches his nose to blow out the bullet: Orginal
Martin: *Horrified* W-what are you?
Danny: Me? I'm undead.
Martin: Y-you're a Bat!?
Danny: What?
Martin: I heard the rumors that Batman and his crew were vampires but I never.... I'm so sorry! Please don't eat me
Danny: Ew, I'm not going to eat you. I've seen your bank transactions. You eat waaaay too much take out for your blood to be healthy.
Martin: ..... I don't have time to cook
Danny: Try a salad menu. Also, look out Red Hood is here. I think he might eat you.
Martin: What?
Red Hood: *Slams bike through front window* THINK AGAIN SCUM BAG
Martin: *Screams*
Danny: You vampire mother-Fudger. I have to clean up that glass now. It's only an hour till closing too. Ancients I hate this city.
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spam-extemporal · 3 days ago
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Alfred: May I help you?
Danny: Yes, you can. I need to talk to the master of the house. I'm Bruce Wayne's illegitimate son.
Alfred: Oh?
Danny: Normally, I wouldn't bother him, but my mom recently passed away, and I have nowhere to go. Here is a letter she wrote to him.
Alfred after reading glowing green paper: I'm afraid Master Bruce is out at the moment, but you may come in and wait for him in the main sitting room. I'll make you some tea in the meantime.
Danny: Trying to gather a DNA sample, I see. That's fine. I wouldn't believe a random kid that showed up on the doorstep either.
Alfred mildly suprise: I assure you, I merely wanted to offer you a warm drink after being caught in the rain.
Danny: Right, and the firearm you have tucked up your left sleeve has nothing to do with me breaking through the front gate security to get to the door.
Alfred smiling:*cocking gun* You may be Master's Bruce's after all.
Danny smiling: *Powering up ray gun* And you may earn your place at a Fenton dinner table. So....Tea?
Alfred: Is Earl Grey alright with you?
Danny: Of course. It's the only tea that is worth drinking.
Alfred: Wise words. Right this way and do remember, I'll put a bullet between your eyes if you're a threat.
Danny: I'll fry you alive before you can even pull the trigger. *Ray gun crackling with electricity*
Alfred mentally: If this lad isn't Master Bruce's, I'll adopt him myself.
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