#like i knew i wouldnt completly get a show about a girl who works an office job without having actually had a real job yet

[yukaii]

@ the last post i reblogged

man i need to reread the little prince now that im not like... 11

we were assigned that way too early i think? or maybe i was alone on this but i really didnt catch a lot of the very basic things it was talking about. i feel like i was way too young for that.. sadness, melancholy.

[autumn-foxfire]

Oh my god shes at it again, ramblin again

The other post mentioned about how toga feels like lov is the only place where she can be herself n that kinda tickled the switch for me cuz thats what a lot of people mention when they talk about how hawks should have joined lov. 'They would have accepted him as his real self.' The problem there of course being that hawkd real self, his very core is someone who wants to help people while lov accepts only those who work for their core goal aks destroying everything and building a better world specifically for themselves. So no, lov wouldnt accept Hawks for who he truely is and I dont really think they ever make a deal about accepting people for who they are at all.

We saw that before joining lov toga had a relativly normal life, she fit in at school, she was liked. The problem was that all of that was a result of her being forced to supress her urges instead of being taught a safe and healthy way to deal with them. Society really failed toga and its so sad to see because she does have an ability to be happy in regular life if only the people around her accepted her urges as something that needs a safe outlet and not something that needs to be supressed. Supression is such a clumsy coping mechanisam because eventually it will all boil to surface.

Im not sure where i was going with this but toga is still young. Shes a teen girl surrounded by grown men showing her where her path in life would lead. You are a monster we are monsters you will end up like us. Its really hard to look at yourself and compere yourself to other people and see that those most like you turn into monsters and to not be a monster it seems to be a requierment to completly supress a part of yourself. Toga very much might not see any other path for her and being with the league is just drilling that in. Its them vs us, we can never be ourselves in this word, we are miserable and you are like us so you'll grow up misreable to, better start crackin at it now.

I just, hm. Toga seems the most likely pick for redemption rn i fuckin teared up reading that post. She can still turn back, she can make her amends and bounce back and be a good person again. Uraraka, Tsu n Deku dont have to help her but i bet they would if they saw her doing her best to do better and to apologize for her crimes. They are kind people.

Also this is unlikely but i want her to meet shinsou. I feel like her having a friend with a 'villanous' quirk who is trying to be a hero and getting support for it would help her a lot to like, make her feel like she can do it, give her someone to compare herself to who is doing good so she has a reason to belive she can be good n happy too. I just think it would help a lot, cuz while ura tsu n deku are good kids n would help her if she made the first step they do all have pretty 'heroic' quirks so it might be hard for toga to relate to them on that level, like oh but they are p much genticaly predisposed to be heroes their quirks are 'good' and mine is 'bad' so i am bad. Idk we didnt see any hint that would support this happening but i do want it.

Toga is a normal girl, if you think about it. She’s capable of making friends and living the life of a typical teenager her own age, she desires friends and bonds and thinks highly of the bonds she has (as we saw with Twice and through the concern she’s expressed for other members of the league). However she just never learned how to handle her urges and now she has to choose living as herself, or hiding who she is forever (and she found it much easier to be herself even if she lost what she had beforehand).

The League was an illusion of what she thought she wanted, in the sense that they accepted her for how she is and didn’t ask her to hide herself. In fact, we even see her embrace that during her fight in the MLA arc and how she says clearly she wants to live as herself. However this current arc has shown us that Toga is finally facing the reality that living in such a way will end up having consequences and (at least from what I gather) she appears to be scared of that because she views her lust for blood as something she can’t control.

She was so scared that instead of seaking reassurance from the people she’s closest too, she saught out Uraraka instead. She knew the league would just tell her what she wanted to hear so she needed to hear it an answer from someone who she respects and who won’t lie to her. And she didn’t like the answer she recieved because it confirmed her fears, she’s going to be punished for who she is.

She’s between a rock and a hard place and she’s either going to double down and reject society and thus any potential help in the future (becoming just like Twice in that sense), or she could potentially get a redemption.

It would be cool for her to be able to be redeemed because it would be a tragic call back to Twice and his situation. When Twice was her age, he got a criminal record and continued to spiral. Having Toga, a person Twice really cared about, actually recieve the help he didn’t would be nice to see (and also show us that society does learn from it’s mistakes).

However it does depend on whether Toga even wants the heroes help after what they did (even if it was justified). She says herself on her rampage that she was tired and her reaction to the Uraraka’s answer was interesting (she didn’t get angry like I initially expected her too, she got upset instead). It would be nice for someone to reach out and tell Toga she’s not a monster just because she has urges, she just can’t hurt others to satisfy them.

Meeting people in a similar boat to her would be very interesting to see. Connecting with people with “villainous” quirks such as herself and seeing how they’ve turned those quirks into something heroic instead... Hmmm, even if it doesn’t happen in canon, it would be something I’d like to see people explore in fanon T-T

[cybernightwanderer]

“ My Reiki and Yoga New Free Soul Brother - Once an abuser manipulative thieve , money driven leach “

Well thats a big tittle to describe one person entirely. So my ( midle ) brother across my kid years and then teenager developing to adult, my brother was an interesting person. For example, in school my brother would pretend he didnt know me , and if i even dared to aproach him he would shame me in front of everyone, even thought they already knew i was his sister, i was bullied a lot in school so at the start i tried a few times reaching out to him , specially because i didnt have any friends and id always be alone. This motherfucker who was already a teenager completly dismissed me , BUT would actually seek me out or talk to me when he needed lunch money because he already “ spent his”, funny enough hed get mine to eat coz he didnt wanna use his, and if i didnt gave him even though i hadnt eaten , he would guilty me badly , and being the kid that i was , my brother was everything to me , even tho he didnt gave a shit about me.

So in consequence i started drawing a distance line between me and him, at home id start to distance myself and ignore him. And he started getting like a really attention whore, hed always annoye me , and force me to hangout, and i didnt he would threaten me or do some shit at the house and blame me for it , because my mother at the tinniest shit at home would beat the crap out of me , so me being the little kid that i was tired of getting beatings for no random reason , id play along. My brother would literally antagonzie me and scare the shit out of me while so. Everytime my family went anywhere , for example the beach, id try to go to the water alone for some peace this motherfucker would sneak behind me and try to drown me as a joke , like every 5 minutes, id yell in panic and my mom wouldnt do shit, eventually id end up actually chocking on water and  hit my head on the sand and cry the rest of the time. So yeah FUN ! Did my mom do anything ? ofc no , “ hes just playing around “. I had BD collections that id buy with my lunch money that sometimes id save up, disney movie cassettes and so on. Sometimes id have snacks in my room to eat when studying or something. My brother, being a full grown ass teenager that he was , would steal everything without me even catching a glimpse of it. My brother would “ borrow “ things without asking then hide them because he wanted. I had two final fantasy collectible caracters that i spent my leftover bday money on, and my brother would take it as his own. Yes because whatever birthday money i got wether it be 50 euros or even 20 from my grandma or aunt, my mom would take it “ borrowed” for herself with no justification, shed always say “ Ah lend me i need it  / or / I always buy you clothes and everythings, i buy you food , you owe me this , thats the minimum you could do / “ or / she would just take it without me knowing , she would inspect my bday gifts and take it before hand , the problem is that my grandma or aunt would always after if i was gonna save it up and id ask what and they would question what i did with the money and i would ask what money and blah blah , you get where this is going.

OH and if i didnt give my money the money she would beat me up ! wich is funny asf. My brother literally sold all my things behind my back, my original BDS, MY FUCKING POISON IVY STORYLINE BD, my disney cassetes , my collectibles, and my snacks he would steal and eat. If i had saved up money hidden, first he would try to borrow it and guilty me with the “ im such a good brother to you , you cant even lend me money ? i will pay you back, trust me “ ... ofc he never payed me back , but every two weeks he woul do this shit. And if i by any chance didnt gave him , hed just steal, or sell my things, wich regardless of me lending him , he would do it anyway. Fast forward to my early teenage years, i had to start working , i quit school because we entered that internet deth with my moms company, wich my brother also contributed to but let the blame to me ofc, i was already the punch bag of the family what is one more thing. My brothers were always my moms “ babies “ even tho one was already a full grown ass man and the other was already on his way. My brother did nothing at home , didnt take the dog outside, didnt take out the trash, didnt make food, didnt wash the dishes, didnt clean the house, basicly sit on his ass all day playing video games and eating, and selling my shit for money. My brother was unemployed for 3/4 years in between those i studied and worked at the same time , and did all the house chores, even if i had to walk the dog as 2/3 am after work i would have to, even tho my brother was in bed all day. My mom would literally yell at me and make my life a living hell and threaten to hit me if i didnt do it or even dared to complain. I would get home trying to study , trying to recorver at school ,and she would yell non stop until i didn every house chore, wich i would only manage to finish at midnight or later, and then id be too tired and unmotivated to do anything so id just sleep, and id always get late to class thanks to that. When my brothers started working, it was at my dads wearehouse, where i was forced to work too. Id work 8 to 10 hours , sometimes more, because we got payed by publicity stock packs, each pack was worth 1 euro, wich also 1 pack took 1 hour and 15/20 minutes to make. So if i wanted to make the day worth anything i had to rush , no eating breaks or pee breakes. My hands at the end of the day would literally be filled with newspaper and printed paper ink and dirk, and tons of cuts and sores , that would be leeched in paper ink, wich make it hurt even more at the end of the day, and was really hard to take it out. My brother would take breaks every 30 minutes to smoke , be on his phone or even go to bathroom or eat randomly, i wouldnt stop the 8 hours straight, and when i actually had to go to the bathroom or eat something because id get sick, my brother literally stole packs from me, or try to “ negociate my help for X “, the thing about my brother is that hed always try to negociate something , ofc it was always entangled for his own benefit and not both.

So it was like this my brother came up to me all excited and say “ oh if you do this to help me , ill split the profit that way we will make more and will be less exausting “ stupid like i was id always give in, specially because if i didnt  hed steal anyway.... Hed always change his methods and works, and guilty me if i didnt do it, so id always have to do so. If i didnt hed just change the pack registration list either way, without me even seeing it, and fake my signature, i only found out we had to sign an official paper a few months later when my dad asked, before that my brother would always tell me to note them on my phone then send the numbers by the end of the week, and since he was the bosses son , every one backed up that story ofc.  Eventually when i started to get older , i cut ties with my brothers and dad. And my ( midle ) brother was constantly trying to reach out and play nice and shit , also he was still working at the wearhouse . Anyway , fast forward when i got unemployed after the 5 star hotel due to rape attent and shit like that, i was unemplyoyed for 4 moths?! My brother tried to reach out , and even came home before my mother to try and persuade me to enter one of his schemes, i explained to my brother that i didnt have any money and that i wouldnt believe anymore of his stupid schemes and blah blah. He swore he was only trying to make up to me , and the plan was , i would pretend to work at my dads  wearehouse, but i would just be there 2 times a week and he would give me a cut of the protfit, coz if he didnt want my dad to hire some random slow guy, so he set up to do a two persons work, and give me 30 % of the monthy rate and all i had to do is show up a few times for my dad to see i was there, and then go home. That motherfucker insisted for 3 days straight promissing it wasnt a scheme and that he was serious this time. OBVIOUSLY THAT DIDNT HAPPEN OBVIOUSLY- with the last 10 euros i had, i bought train tickers to the wearhouse, the first week he actually stick to his word, a few days later the shit started, he actualy forced me to deliver shit and stuff. Wich for me was really difficult because its when i started to develop hernias, and the pain was too overwhealming, and that fucker didnt care and still forced me to, eventually i told him i was out , and found out he still used my name in his shit plan  and pretended i was still working there to my dad for two whole months , and then begged me to lie to my dad on the phone, hed literally call me before my dad trying to get me to lie, and promissing the money, and hed ask my mom to pressure my to help him. What could i do??!! what happend after you may ask? did my brother gave me the money? OFC NO ! NO! He gave me 115 euros of the cut , and he made 996 euros to himself. And told me it was only for the days “ i actually worked “  NEVER IN MY LIFE  I VERBALLY EVER SAID TO ANYONE , FAMILY OR NOT  “ I hope you die, you are shit , you are nothing to me , seriously i hope you die “ and acually meant it and wished it. For the first time in my life i actually wished so hard for my brother to just die. I was done, i was officialy done , i had never been so done with someone. I was officialy done with my family. I blocked my dad on everything, i told my dad to fuck off. I told my older brother to fuck off. I told my middle brother to go die. And the last person was my dying grandma who was a snob ass piece of shit who only gave a shit about me when i was a little girl ( because its only cute when they r kids  ), to stop trying to call me and told her to just go and die. She literally sent me a voice message of 5 minutes crying beggin me to see her, and i just told her to go and die, its not because she is dying that is gonna erase the fact that she didnt gave a shit about me after i actually grown. And the fact that i did this apparently scared the shit out my dad and brothes, specially because i did it so naturally. AND TO THIS DAY I DONT REGRET WHAT I SAID AND I STILL DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HER. OH AND PLOT TWIST SHES NOT DEAD NOR WAS SHE DYING, LAST YEAR SHE TRIED TO SCHEME MONEY OUT OF MY MOM, AND BEFORE THAT SHE WOULD ALWAYS TREAT MY MOM LIKE SHIT AN CALL HER NAMES, FUNNY ! Now they try to sneak into my life really AGAIN ... ffs Since the end of last year, apparently my brother turned into reiki and yoga and shit and is now driving a motivational fuck page for people who wanna “ grow spiritually and open the third eye “ and is trying to reconnect with me again, obviously i cut him off before he could even talk to me. So he spent 3 months or so , coming here and trying, and since he didnt get anything since january and february hes trying to manipulate me behind my mother, my mother is venting to my brother about me being closed off to them , and my brother is DIAGNOSING ME AS A PROBLEM, BECAUSE HE IS SO WISE AND ENLIGHTED... WTF??? diagnosing me??? ur not a fucking therapist you asshole ! The other day i heard him tell my mother in the living room , that “ SHE CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ITS VERY TOXIC FOR HER, SHE HAS TO TALK TO YOU AND BE A BETTER SISTER AND DAUGHTER SHE NEEDS TO BLAH BLAH YOU NEED TO KICK HER OUT IF SHE IS LIVING OFF YOU  “ WHAT THE FUCK?? im living off my mother?? the woman that forced me to give her more than half of my paycheck, thats doesnt give me privacy or respect and that literally threatned me if i ever tried to leave that she would chase me down???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR SEND ME TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL????!!!! ... My older brother is doing the same, keeps trying to get me to go visit his kid, and to meet his kid, keeps trying to get my mother to see pictures of the kid or to call them. They keep trying to guilty me “ oh you cant take it out on the kid, its not the kids fault , he needs to know his aunt, you are his family “ BITCH FAMILY?????? FAMILY??? family doesnt mean shit. Yesterday even sent photos of his kid trought a new number LOL. I actually did went to the kids birthday, first time a few months ago, and guess what , my brother still the NO ONE ASKED- OPINIONATED asshole he was about my whole life, he literally takes one glimpse of me and judges my whole life and starts yelling shit at me ...ofc thats not gonna happend again. People dont change. People. dont. change. PEOPLE DONT CHANGE ! BITCH ?? WHAT? WHO THE FCK?? HOW THE FUCK??? In conclusion my brother is still the same piece of shit he was , and now even more narcisistic, and manipulative, he cant get what he wants from me , so now hes resourting to my mother again. I NEED TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE, I NEED TO LEAVE THIS FAMILY OMFG. Funny enough he does this shit then tries to get me to go to his house to celebrate his birthday because he “ MISSES ME AND THE OLD DAYS” ???? OLD DAYS OF YOU MENTALY ABUSING ME ? NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU ALMOST BROKE MY ARM BECAUSE I WOULDNT LEND YOU MY COMPUTER 3 YEARS AGO????? my mom literally told him we were gonna go there without even asking me if i wanted or even if i was gonna go. LOL, shes trying to emotionally manipulate me with older pictures of me and him , and games we would play together LOL. OMFG PLEASE SOME ONE, I DONT EVEN KNOW I NEED TO DIE OMFG... I CANT TAKE THIS FAMILY ANYMORE.