#like i hate romance novels

[marzipanandminutiae]

I saw a thread in a romance literature forum that was like "do you write mentions of female characters' body hair in period romance? or readers, do you know of any writers who do/do you imagine it when you read those books?" and the responses were wild

people were like "well I don't imagine them accidentally stepping in manure on the streets, or having rotted teeth from eating processed sugar without fluoride treatments, or dying slowly of consumption, so of COURSE I don't imagine women with armpit hair!!! it ruins the fantasy!!!"

like

those things are. not remotely equal my guy

(I can understand not mentioning it for Writing Flow Reasons. I write period fanfic a lot, and there's just very seldom a chance to organically mention body hair. I'm not going to be like "she put on her stockings over her HAIRY LEGS" in a dressing scene, for example, or "her ball gown shimmered like starlight as she whirled around the floor AND ALSO THE SHORT SLEEVES SHOWED HER UNDERARM HAIR WHICH SHE TOTALLY HAD." but. it's not on the same level as disgusting wasting diseases guys)

(that being said when reading my fanfic just assume Edith and Lucille have never shaved anything in their lives okay)

[bpdohwhatajoy]

I’m your average person but with the capacity for love that only exists in romance novels

[meteortrails]

there’s something very interesting to me about how a lot of wangxian’s early romantic interactions are uhhhhh. often dubiously consensual at best? and not even really in a like, regency novel ‘I knew they wanted it (and was correct in that assumption)’ way - they both beat themselves up for doing it after the fact. instead, it ends up leaving more of an impression of immaturity, especially in their reactions in the aftermath. they’re too ashamed or scared of rejection to outright ask for what they want, and so end up taking it by force and then rebuking themselves for ever wanting it in the first place afterwards. it’s part of why it’s kinda vital that when they finally get together, it’s wwx being embarrassingly honest in front of a whole group of people - he willingly makes himself vulnerable for lwj, and accepts whatever consequences come with that. like idk I just think wangxian is very much a relationship about like, growth and acceptance, and this is a microcosm of those themes that doesn’t really get discussed

[oceans-beloved]

IT'S INTERNATIONAL VINCENZO DAY!!🥳🩷✨️

I maaaayyy have been late-ish with posting this but Dunyazad's 100% the type of person who'd wake Vincenzo up at mid night (if wifey's toxic bestie even let's him sleeps that is 👀) to wish him happy birthday and make him go through the whole scrapbook she made for him while cuddle attacking him~

The without anything written on it version because I worked hard on this and I'm gonna make it everyone's problem😤✨️

Mwah mwah~<3

[tungle-scant-sequels]

huevember 22! ngl I don't like this one as much but I wanted to try something design ish. may redo some time in the future

[nox-in-a-box]

i have nothing against shipping, in fact i love it and love shipping characters together in all kinds of ways, but i really don't get it with some media. of course shipping is a part of every fandom and i have nothing against it but it's surprising to me when that is the primary focus of certain fandoms.

[cryptidcorners]

do you guys think he'd be super awkward at parties or is it just me? this loser probably only arrives for the food unless his bestie is there, lmfao.

[danykindaforgotaboutdre]

How I would approach Franchaela if I were in the writer's room

It's not going to be the same story as the books, none of the seasons have been, but I think it still has the potential to be great. Unlike others, I really loved s3 (aside from a couple of gripes) in fact, I think most offline people enjoyed it, so I'm not super worried about where the show is heading. It's never been prestige television, just a fun, frothy romance.

If I were to write Francesca's story I would do it this way.

Have Francesca and John settle into a happy and loving marriage that lasts the entirety of s4, alongside her friendship with Michaela. I don't want Francesca to entertain what her feelings might be outside of admiration and maybe a desire to be more like her. It doesn't have to ruin her story with John unless they want it to, and giving that much power to a minute or so of screentime feels like a mistake.

Francesca's season isn't happening until about 2030 so there is a lot of time to flesh out this storyline in a satisfying way if the show is lucky enough to last that long (and considering it will be one of the few certified hits left on Netflix once Stranger Things ends and the cast is more or less rotating, I can see it sustaining itself all 8 seasons unless something drastic happens). I think it shouldn't even enter her mind that she might be queer until after John is already gone. In this time period I think it's realistic that it just wouldn't dawn on her fully.

John dies at the end of s4 or the beginning of s5 (I think I'd prefer the latter), a heartbroken Francesca leans on Michaela for support, but Michaela starts to lose trust in herself so she leaves like in the books. I'm all for army nurse Michaela, bring on the badassery. She'll replace the hole in my heart that Claire Fraser left when Outlander got too cool with slavery for my liking. End tangent.

In s6, after a time jump, Francesca decides to remarry due to her desire for children, Michaela returns, perhaps for some unrelated reason, or perhaps because Francesca reaches out to her hoping to reconnect and garner support in her search for a husband. Francesca's feelings start to come to the surface but she denies them, setting her sights on a man instead, but she is unable to connect with him due to her feelings for Michaela, which she finally acts on mid s6. Considering Michaela can not give her a child I suspect they'd both feel a great deal of angst over this, but decide to commit to each other anyway.

The two women begin to bond with an orphan that they later take in, the kid can be present for the whole season or the latter half.

They can also kill John off at the end of s4 and have the time jump take place between s4 and s5 since they sort of play fast and loose with the timeline anyway and every season is separated by two years. That way Francesca's search for a husband and burgeoning feelings for Michaela can occur alongside Eloise's season, and s6 can be exclusively belong to Francesca, Michaela and their adoption of a child.

As much as I liked the book I think some very good drama can be mined from Francesca's queer awakening and am looking forward to what they do with it. Also, Violet's acceptance of quiet love very much could have been for herself as much as Francesca, seeing as she's pursuing a new romance that is simply nice and uncomplicated compared to what she had with Edmund. But again, time will tell. The story doesn’t have to play out exactly in this way for me to enjoy it, I’m excited to see what they cook up regardless.

[i-like-books-and-women]

Okay so I haven't listened to the book in the past couple days but there's this line from one of Zach's chapters that I can't stop thinking about cause it's like "good God that's so fucked" he says something along the lines of "I might have to work to transition from cute to hot but Rubens already there" and potentially in the same line but also maybe not cause I don't remember he says something close to "I have to make the switch from cute to hot if I want to have a career" which is like? Like it's so gross dude. Zach and Angel are barely 18 like tf- like yeah sex sells but Jesus christ what in the fuck. And then like the internalized issues?? Like it's not quite the same vein it's similar tho. I've always been "the fat kid" since I was in elementary school and let me tell you comparing your body to your friends' is literally the quickest way to start resenting them and hating yourself. Quite literally chorus was kinda pitting them against each other and started instilling body image issues in very impressionable teenagers and then was like *surprised Pikachu face* when they were all starting to show signs of depression and anxiety and started fighting and started doing dumb shit and drugs to try and cope.

[nocasdatsgay]

I read two Nesta/Azriel fics and why was this never an option??? My eyes are open, I can see in technicolor.

[enbysiriusblack]

remus loves folklore books, lily loves fantasy books, regulus loves classical books, peter loves comic books, emmeline loves detective books, dorcas loves poetry books, mary loves romance books, james loves sci-fi books, marlene loves rock magazines, sirius loves play scripts

[starswallowingsea]

Every time I think about how the Colleen Hoover fangirlies get mad when people even suggest that they should try and diversify their portfolios I get really, really sad. Like I don't think you have to read classics or anything and be an elite snob but if you limit yourself to just Colleen Hoover and maybe Sarah J Maas and a few other popular booktok authors, you're missing out on so so much. Even if you just want to find good new releases, keeping up with the book of the month club will give you plenty of options (even if you can't subscribe to them and have to get them from the library). Diversify your portfolio. Read older mass market paperback romances or literally anything else.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Princess update:

Our hero, DARIUS SANTIAGO (fantastic) had an incredibly sexy moment involving the heroine’s hair that ended in him stealing her hair ribbon to keep in his pocket (if there’s one thing this bitch loves, it’s a hair ribbon moment) and he only allowed himself this because his plan is

to ASSASSINATE NAPOLEON BONAPARTE

to keep Serafina safe, OBVI

and he fully expects to die so he’s like letting himself touch her albeit technically chastely

but Serafina, unaware of his assassination plans, is like “well now I have to go to a safe house and it’s going to be so BORING and you’re going to be my guard” and he’s like “um NO, plot aside, I am FOR SURE gonna fuck you if we’re alone for a week” and she’s like “EXACTLY”

to which he is about to stage a protest except just as her dad (previous hero, also despoiler of a virgin) approaches she’s like “COME WITH ME OR I TELL HIM YOU HAVE MY HAIR RIBBON IN YOUR POCKET MOTHERFUCKER”

and then

he is toast

[triviareads]

further proof of Lisa Kleypas sanitizing her newer works:

Nick Gentry in Worth Any Price outrightly admits very early on that he wants to tie a gal up, and this is a hero who's touch-averse due to his traumatic time in prison, so he awkwardly tells this to the brothel madam who devirginizes him shortly thereafter.

Meanwhile, Gabriel Challon St. Vincent from Devil in Spring has had every material advantage in life, access to literally ANY experience money can buy, and he's still kinkshaming himself for vaguely wanting to tie a gal up, and only vaguely alludes to the *exotic pleasures* he shared with his mistress (never forget the SUBVERSIVE TALENTS of Nola Black— Sebastian was so valid for mocking his son about that).

[despair-tea]

Man who has not even considered reading a book this year: Why would I want to read a VISUAL novel? I don't need the pictures! I'll just read a regular book The girl who is desperately trying to crack his egg because "she'd be so fuckable you don't understand":

[via-val]

i want,,, magnus and alex bookstore dates!!! them just browsing the shelves, criticizing books that are clearly biased, alex reading excerpts of random books out loud to magnus and doing the voices, magnus showing some of his favourite comic issues to alex and (attempting) to do the voices. of course they have to make it competitive at some point so there's also a hidden quest: alex has to find a new comic for magnus to read and magnus has to find a book for alex that she'll like. it turns caothic very fast. sometimes magnus ends up with comics about fart jokes sometimes he gets really good ones. alex almost always ends up with some random novel because magnus is too afraid of giving her something in the romance section and fantasy as a genre is banned on the basis that "we deal with all that on the daily, provide me some good escapism, chase". they go for falafels and coffee after<3