#like i get it now. i get why everyone was insane in the 70s and 80s

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the death of independent journalism...unprecedented internet censorship...rise of misinformation as a tool of fascism...the increasing difficulty of finding and verifying what is real, what is propaganda.......these things are all related

am I crazy or does the fact that google has become unusable feel premeditated

[unforth]

I keep seeing posts comparing this to 2004 or other past election losses and how this feels the same or similar to those past times.

As another Old who voted in 2004 (and I missed voting in 2000 by a month and was furious about it) I really can't even put into words how vehemently I disagree.

In 2008, I remember very earnestly sitting down with some friends and saying that if somehow McCain beat Obama, I'd have to join the fucking revolution, because I couldn't believe that this country would elect a Republican AGAIN after the previous 8 years of bullshit. I look back now and think how incredibly naive I was, but I also look back now and think, damn, why aren't I 25 NOW? I can't join the revolution now, I'm 41 and I own a house and have two young children and one old parent depending on me.

Because honestly, truly, as someone who has been studying American history since I was 7, as a Civil War buff with expertise on the years before the Civil War, as someone who has at least some memories of every election since 1988... guys, this isn't the same as 2004. I was furious then. Swift Boat bullshit I swear to fucking dog. And I was and still am fairly convinced that the 2000 election was deliberately stolen. But also I still had every reason then to believe in the rule of law.

In 2004, I still believed term limits would be respected.

In 2004, I still believed a person who wasn't elected would demure gracefully to the winner.

In 2004, I still trusted the courts.

In 2004, I still believed that we'd made progress on bigotry.

I could go on, and to be clear, my point isn't "I thought these institutions were ~good~" in literally any objective sense. Y'all are cynical but my generation was raised by, surrounded by, Vietnam vets and trust me, there was no way to be a kid, seeing what the 70s did to this country, and not come out as cynical and furious as the best of um. (My grandfather was a World War 2 vet, as were his close friends. My father and both his brothers are Vietnam vets, tho my dad didn't go overseas.) But I did believe that even corrupt institutions, even broken racist systems, even fucking Republicans, would follow basic norms of democracy. They said they believed in the constitution and I believed them. I believed that, like Nixon, truly getting caught doing something insane would at least force a mea culpa and turn public opinion. I believed...

Well, I guess it doesn't matter.

Because I no longer believe any of that.

I have watched the guard rails disappear over my lifetime. I have watched the party who once spent 2 years pursuing a guy over a BJ in the oval office elect a convicted rapist. I have watched and at times I've participated and I've voted and I've organized and I've protested and I've read the news more days than not and I've lived and I've grown and I've learned.

I have been an adult, legally, for almost 24 years now.

Guys... there are no norms remaining on the far right. The guard rails are gone. The Fascists control the White House, the senate, the Supreme Court, and things aren't looking promising for the House.

The bus has no brakes anymore. They think they have a mandate - and I can't blame them, as horrifying as this mandate is, because if things had gone the other way and Harris had gotten these results I'd also think it was a mandate.

Please sit with what this means: Trump and the Republican party said, "hand us the reins and we'll make everyone you hate hurt," and more than half the people who bothered to vote said "sure buddy, here goes." We don't have a usurper this time. This is the country that the majority of Americans said they wanted. Whether they come to regret that or not, they saw open Fascism and went "oh yes, count me in." And it wasn't because of the electoral college this time. It was because this country is so bigoted and misogynistic that they'd rather have this than a woman of color in the office.

I'm sick of "well she didn't run a good campaign." (Lie.) I'm sick of, "well we didn't get a primary." (Who cares?) I'm *extremely* sick of "well, Palestine." (Yes! Democrats actions have made the suffering there so much worse! It fucking sucks! You know what's about to suck so much worse?)

15 million people who showed up for Joe Biden couldn't be fussed to place a vote for Kamala Harris. Whatever their reason for not voting, we all knew the outcome if she lost. And seeing open fascism didn't fire them up enough to make the effort, and that's fucking pathetic. The consequences of the worst happening mattered so little to them that they couldn't be fucking bothered to make the minimum effort to stop it, and now millions of people will suffer as a result.

Because here we are: the huge swathe of the country who wanted a strongman now have one.

Look, I don't know what happens next. But I do know, and remember keenly: after 2016, Trump did, or at least tried to do, most of the things he said he'd do. When he was stopped, it was often because of career government employees: judges, bureaucrats, etc. And this time, he's said he's going to purge those people. I don't know if he'll succeed, but I certainly believe he'll try.

This is not 2004 again.

This is 2024. The Republicans have ripped the mask to shreds, shredded apart the book of political norms, and empowered hate, and they've been handed a governmental mandate for stamped "have at with our blessing!" in exchange.

And now they'll use that mandate to make everyone they hate suffer: people of color, queer people, trans people, immigrants, non-Christians.

Don't assume the worst can't happen. I am a Jew, and I have a photo album full of black and white photos of dead people that constantly reminds me: the worst has happened and it can happen again.

Do not despair. Despair is enervating. Be furious. As we should be. These douche bags are repulsive. Be prepared to fight. Be prepared to flee. Be prepared to defend. Don't assume you simply can't do something. There's always something to do, and even the smallest act of defiance can help. There's never any knowing until after which acts of resistance will end up galvanizing the good and just out of their apathy. But that apathy is the enemy.

Because none of this is normal. None of this is "just like when..." Please stop saying it is.

And before anyone screams "privilege" at me, yes, I am in many ways. I'm white. I have access to some generational money even tho my own family lives paycheck to paycheck - we won't be rich but have enough of a support network to be comfortable. I live in a blue area of a blue state. But I'm also a woman (legally speaking, at least) married to another woman - since before Oberkfell, and yes I remember exactly what steps we had planned any time we wanted to leave our state. My wife has physical disabilities. We have two children. Both are biracial (half black). One is trans. We are caring for an elderly parent. I am Jewish and as my kids' birth parent, so are they. I own a publishing company that publishes the exact kinds of queer and kinky lit these people intend to ban. We tick so many boxes of what these people hate.

I know ya'll are scared. Trust me, I'm terrified. But fear is paralyzing. And that won't help. Whatever happens, don't lie down and take this shit.

When Gore lost I was one month shy of my 18th birthday and already in college. I have been fighting my entire adult life, and I'm exhausted. I'm much less able to fight now, much more tied down with responsibilities. But the fight isn't over. I'm checking our passports. I'm packing a go bag. I've convinced one vulnerable friend to move here and I have another who wants to and we're figuring out how to make that happen. I'm protecting who I can, starting with putting on my mask first. I don't know what will happen but if in the end all I can do is uproot my entire life to protect my children then I am preparing to do so. I can at least save them if no one else.

None of this is normal.

And I'm not sure, after Trump's in office, that anything will ever be normal again in the US. At least not the old normal. And there are ways that's a good thing, so many ways that the old normal sucked for so many people, and I'm optimistic that there's a bright future ahead, but man it looks far away right now. I don't want to go back to the old normal, and I want to be part of establishing a kinder, more just, more equal new normal, but we're a long way from there.

Whatever happens, we must endure. We must survive. We must support each other. We must find our allies and be prepared to compromise with them. Don't try to save everyone. You'll fail. Help even one person and you can change the world. Everyone things they can't do everything and so do nothing. That's insane. Do a single thing and it will be better than nothing. One phone call. One letter. One act of defiance. Very few people get the opportunity to grand gestures that matter, and the rest of us will die waiting for that moment. But the secret is that what makes those moments - the time when one person is in the right place at the right time for their action to matter - is built on millions of small moments by millions of people doing what little they can to make things slightly better. Think of every iconic photograph of a Sole Resistor you know of and think about every single tiny thing that had to happen for that moment to occur. Most of us will never me that one person, but that one person is a myth anyway. Countless tiny unseen moments create those myths. Doing literally anything is better than doing nothing.

And tooth and nail, quietly and loudly, in our homes and our towns and cities, during protests or when they come for our neighbors, we must fight.

[centrally-unplanned]

I will always be annoyed as a very pro-welfare person that my "camp" is not going to come around to Social Security being Bad, Actually. It is so antiquated! Most crucially, it probably isn't even welfare - the best analyses in my opinion generally view it as neutral, maybe mildly progressive, and maybe even mildly regressive. Maybe your own paper thinks it is more on the progressive side? But it is ~5% of GDP! I do not have to "debate the progressivity" of food stamps, they are obviously insanely redistributive; the opportunity cost of Social Security is huge in this regard because you do in fact have a limited tax budget to play with.

More importantly to me, it is a redistribution from the young to the old in a society where that is becoming quite costly. The "forces of social reproduction", from work to innovation to families, are pretty universally created by the non-retired, and while most people are Doing Fine that doesn't mean we aren't creating unnecessary frictions for all of that. Right now we would all socially be better off "front-shifting" more spending, giving the ~30 year olds more income and the ~70 year olds less - 70 year olds in America are quite rich, they really don't need it.

Meanwhile the reasons for the program have vanished. I get why it was a decent idea in the 1930's - it is an insurance program built around the idea that the elderly can't "bounce back" from economic setbacks since they have a limited ability to work. In a world where bank runs junking someone's savings were common this makes sense. And in a world of fertility rates hitting 4.0+ targets it was easily affordable. But nowadays the idea that the median someone "cannot save for retirement" is very silly, they absolutely can safely and reliably - banks are stable and insured, government bond programs exist, and so on.

Of course, there are those who are too poor to save, which you can address with, like, actual welfare? I won't go down the UBI rabbit hole but it is very silly to fix the problem of elderly poverty with a universal forced savings plan that pays out to people based on their past income. Just give poor people money and cut out all the middleman bullshit.

Which is the rub of course - Social Security works politically precisely because it isn't welfare, it is something "everyone" gets. Which, again as a big UBI proponent, I get, it is how politics works. But that doesn't change the fact that Social Security probably makes most people on net worse off despite how much they defend it, and limits the fiscal capacity for better alternatives. From an ideological lens it isn't a left program, and shouldn't be treated as such. (And it isn't a right program either, but in the US rightwing ideology is pretty incoherent so who knows)

But in the end winning elections is the actual determinant of policy, so may the Democrats continue to worship it - and hopefully get the courage to slip some changes in that people don't notice somewhere down the line.

[erinwantstowrite]

Let me just quickly say, cross-overs can sometimes get REALLY difficult to map out and write in a cohesive way but you have absolutely NAILED IT!! I absolutely ADORE LoF!!! I usually don’t even bother reading fics with the ‘Richard Grayson is Richard Parker’ premise cause I felt like they were super confusing and overcomplicated but this fic?? SUPERB. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD I ADORE IT. Everyone’s characterizations are so nice and wonderful aaaaaaah!!!! <33333

Ok ok I did actually have a question as well: would you be willing to share what your writing process looks like in terms of a chapter you’ve already posted? I was just wondering since I’m also currently working on my own fic (it’s been a few years but I managed to get fixated on an idea and it grew legs lol) and I’m currently fighting the organization of it haha.

How do you keep track of the plot points and/or foreshadowing you want to get a ‘lightbulb!’ moment for later? Do you have any tips?

Thank you so much! I absolutely adore your writing AND your art is so gorgeous omg it adds so much to the incredible story :DDD I hope you have a good day!!

I have a secret: I actually didn't like "Richard Grayson is Richard Parker' tag for a while for the same reason. Sometimes they felt like they missed the mark or it's just. A thing that's there? I almost didn't include it for LoF, but I'm glad I did because it changed the direction in such a big way.

Another secret: this made me incredibly happy because I have read so many wikis and scoured the internet to make sure that I had enough info on both fandoms so LoF could make sense to anyone who's reading it, whether they know Spider-Man, Batfam, or neither at all. Sometimes I worry a lot before I post that I'll miss a mark and will confuse people.

As for the question: I definitely am willing to share what my writing process looks like!

Be prepared for under the cut, I love to yap. It's in my blood to yap. And that's why it took a minute to get to this ask haha

(Spoilers for Leap of Faith!! Everything mentioned has already been published ((Chapters 1-11))

I had to go and find out which chapter I wanted to use as an example and I think we're gonna go with Chapter 5 for the most part :)

My writing process is, as described by alighterwood:

I think the description fits because while I'm all over the place, I have to be very detail oriented and I store everything in one spot.

Starting with the overall process, what I find is most helpful for me, when organizing, is having a notebook rather than doing it all digitally. I've been using a 70 sheet notebook that I had lying around waiting to be used, and as of yesterday, I officially filled the entire thing front to back. It's been an incredible help, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it's a lot easier to remember something I physically wrote down than it is to remember something I typed. I'm now on to my second notebook for LoF, and I might even have to get a third.

In another ask, startupkat asked me this:

And I shared a little about my outline process there, but I'll try to go into a little more depth here. Emphasis on little because this is so long.

I write a truly insane amount of outlines in this notebook.

This is just what I can show you, but a good chunk of the notebook is just outlines. Over and over and over again. That's because they're always changing/adapting based on so many different factors. Sometimes I get to a chapter I thought I had fully planned out and then realize it just doesn't work anymore. Other times, I get to the chapter and realize I don't want to write that anymore/isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. A few times I got halfway through a POV of a scene I was struggling on and decided to switch POV's, which will change up the outline for a chapter every now and then.

Which is why I don't write incredibly detailed outlines and try to keep it vague until I actually get to that chapter. It's a lot less daunting to rewrite a chapter outline than it is to rewrite the entire outline.

Fic outlines and Chapter outlines look a lot alike.

This is what I said in the other ask, but I didn't elaborate on it all the way.

I make a list just like that, and then I try to put it in chronological order/in an order that makes sense. I keep the Fic outline vague by writing down "Goals" for a chapter rather than scenes. But I also keep notes to myself if I really think something is important. The more important I think a scene needs to be, the more details I write down to make sure my future self recalls what I had in mind when I thought it up.

Really simple example:

Chap 1 Goal: Peter gets to Gotham and meets Babs while running around. Meet Nightwing too? Get shelter.

Chapter 2 Goal: Bats are like "???" about Peter. Batfam dynamic important... Peter stalking Batfam back? Peter meet Batman >:)

When I get to a chapter, that's when I make a far more detailed list of wants/needs/goals. It's the Step 2 from the Step 1. Here are some examples from Chapter 5:

Needed to have:

More POV's from universe 1299 (Peter's home universe)

Tony's POV more specifically, how he's doing/feeling, what he's figured out

What they've figured out on 1299 side vs what's going on in 1300 (Gotham)

Explaining more about Peter's trauma/his past

Dick learning more about Peter, and vise versa

Wanted to have:

Ned being a more central character

Natasha :)

Loki being a little shit

Tony and Cap bickering

Peter talking to Nightwing again

The last name Grayson

Gymnastics!!

(This is the shortened list, because the chapters are so long)

When I looked at this list before writing my outline, I had to figure out how I could incorporate everything. If I needed more 1299 POV's, and I wanted Ned, Natasha, and Loki, there's one scene accounted for. I had to get their side of things and wanted that trio together. I needed a Tony POV, and I wanted Tony and Cap bickering, so those went together, plus I got 1299's POV of Ohnn and his plans explained.

I needed to have Peter explaining more about his trauma, and Dick and Peter to talk/get closer. I wanted a Nightwing POV, to have Peter say his last name, and them doing gymnastics. I knew Peter wouldn't willingly talk about that, so I had him have a nightmare. Not only did it give readers perspective but it made Peter more susceptible to talking to Nightwing because he was more emotionally vulnerable/lonely, and that's how that scene came together.

That's when I would write down the chronological order of these events by writing out "Scene Blocks." (This is what I wrote down but my handwriting was so bad I can't subject y'all to it):

scene 1- Ned talking to Loki. Natasha should be nearby and observing Loki's behavior. They are not on friendly terms. Ned is more worried about Peter than he is as to what Loki could be up to, so Natasha takes on that role.

scene 2- Tony is freaking out about Peter being in an alt dimension. He should attack Ohnn when he's not prepared for it. Beat his ass? Beat his ass. Cap there too.

scene 3- Peter's nightmare. "Ben, where do you go when you die?" "Where do you think?" "With you. Where you went."

scene 4- Nightwing and Peter.

Of course, things come to attention when writing. Like originally, Tony and Cap were arguing in the Tower. But it was a little too much like his and Natasha's argument, and I kept in mind that Tony is smart. Sometimes I forget that the characters are smarter than I am, so I have to account for what they would figure out. So Tony would have picked up the puzzle pieces and come to more conclusions than I originally thought about, and I figured he'd be way more proactive about it than just. Being in the Tower and waiting.

Which means that that scene ended up being as listed above: having a squabble with Cap, learning more about Peter's dynamic with the Avengers in this universe, and seeing how Tony is reacting to it by throwing himself head first into trying to capture Ohnn.

I'll realize I need something else to be mentioned or put in and I'll have to shimmy things around, but that's basically how it goes.

As for other forms of organization:

Keeping a timeline is so important because it tells you a lot about the environment your characters are in. It's also important to remember what a character has on them, what money they've spent, who they've met/who you have mentioned, every alias that is being used, to read your work and write down edits you want to make before you make them, to write down ideas beforehand of situations you can use, and, most importantly: MAKE A MAP!! This has saved me so many times. Sometimes your brain WILL trick you or make it harder on you to envision a scene. Make a map of where your characters are physically!! It will save you too!!

As for foreshadowing and plot points, I'll let you in on yet another secret:

Your subconscious is doing a lot more than you think it is.

Sometimes when I foreshadow something, I didn't even know I was until I got to it. I very often go back to read chapters that came before this to see what I've mentioned and what I haven't, and when I do, I'll see something and go "I have to bring this back" or "I almost forgot about that!"

Other times, I am very aware of what I'm foreshadowing, and that's because I follow a mystery plot formula. You have to keep in mind everyone's intentions, all the time. How are they feeling? What are their motivations? And: what are they doing right now, while this character is doing this?

Like Beck and Ohnn. From the very beginning, I knew I had to make sure that it was obvious Ohnn wasn't working alone. From there, I had to weave through the story and slowly build him up as someone who's working behind the scenes. Even from Ned's first POV, I made sure to mention that this person knows Tony and is tech savvy.

My biggest tip is to make sure you reread your work or at least skip through it, because sometimes you don't even know that you placed something there.

And sometimes, it's very purposeful. :)

I hope this helped! I really tried to keep it short but I am insane and the process is sooooo long. It sounds complicated but it really is simple when you're actually doing it I swear

[wetcatspellcaster]

Veilguard Thoughts

(my sort-of review, more of a ramble, below the cut in case of spoilers)

I had particularly low expectations for this game, as it felt to me like it was rushed out to try and hit the BG3 crowd and get them to pay £70 at the point where their hyperfixation was failing them. It felt like a very commercially-motivated decision, and I tried to modify my expectations accordingly.

I then started playing... and had to modify my expectations again.

But with two lowering of expectations completed... I genuinely enjoyed this game! I had fun! Sort of! if I squint!!

Thoughts!

I am not a competent gamer, so I like combat that feels fun and engaging without being challenging or a chore (cough, BG3 Act 3, cough), but without being lazy either. I played as a mage in Veilguard and I felt like this hit a sweet spot - moments where I was stressed kind-of invested, no moments when I was bored. The graphics for mage (for spellblade particularly) were awesome and badass, and I loved to new mode of engaging with the mage class in orb and dagger.

I understand the frustration with a lot of lore being retconned, ignored, or wilfully erased or moved away from. Some parts I understood: I do think Veilguard tries to make a move away from grimdark, not out of disloyalty to the franchise and it's roots, but bc grimdark is a very different prospect now than when Origins released. it's a genre that gets a lot more criticism and bad press, and that some people feel genuinely uncomfortable perpetuating as a results. While Origins is my favourite dragon age game, there's a lot of insane things you need to just let slide to enjoy it - like the fact that multiple origins begin with some kind of rape and sexual assault if you're playing as a woman. I don't think retconning that stuff is anything other than being politically savvy, and a little more sensitive to how fantasy has changed.

(I also think this is why they've moved away from the chantry conflict to be honest. Like the optics of Christian religions in fantasy has also changed, and let's be honest, Dragon Age had already fucked THAT, multiple times.)

I did however, like everyone, find it a bit disheartening to see how little Keep decisions mattered. Why is there no Keiran with Morrigan? why can't Mythal move to an inquisitor who drank the Well of Sorrows instead? why is my Inquisitor defending Solas when she ended the game hating him? Why is Hawke being in the Fade meaningless? I know this is just echoing what people have already said, but it was sad to see the 'conclusion' to the franchise (that probably isn't the end, let's be honest, not now that people paid £70 for an underwritten game) was even less satisfying in terms of choice and agency than ME3

This game deliberately skewed itself to read as a 'better DA2', than a 'worse, rushed inquistion'. IDK, it just makes me feel a bit grossed out, and manipulated. I mean, we know DA2 can be made in crunch, lads!!!!! :)))

Criticisms!

EVERYTHING is underwritten. The game is woefully short. If I can complete all the sidequests in a game, then something is wrong. The romances, the character arcs, the main quest, the dialogues. Everything was sparse, with the bare bones of a plot, that (in the case of companions quests) was rarely seen through to a full and satisfying conclusion. And I *know* that's not the writers fault, necessarily, but that doesn't mean it couldn't be done better.

There's so much potential, but I found that most of the companions could be boiled down to one or two traits, and while I can see people headcanoning reasons for this in real time, it's just... underwriting, or bad writing. Extremely telling to me that both Emmrich and Davrin were my favourite companions... because they had their own companions. That meant that they had multiple story hooks - their professions, their relationships, and then their little guys. They got three things, when most people only got two.

This was particularly egrerious for me with Taash, because they started out amazing, and I ended up being extremely disappointed as I watched both them and their mother being reduced down to flat one-dimension caricatures and a tired queer narrative of 'my parents hate me'. Only, this time, it's 'my immigrant parents hate me'. when you couple the reductive approach to Taash with bioware's inability to write the Qunari well or without falling into Orientalism??? they're suddenly an evil repressive queer phobic religion after being supportive of trans characters in inquisition???? you're telling me Shathann, a woman who was forced into a more feminine role by circumstance but considered herself more genderless/masculine as a scholar, wouldn't be on board with non-binary identity? just galling tbh.

The romances are underwritten. And they are badly written, to me. Luckily I know we'll have fic, but in Inquisition, each romance was 90 minutes worth of content. In Veilguard, Lucanis's romance is the longest... at 18 minutes. It just seems stupid and strange to me - if this game is chasing on BG3's coat-tails, why don't they know everyone is fucking horny?

While I liked the decision to give companions more banter together and flesh out their interpersonal relationships, I felt that the balance was off... probably bc it's cheaper to have two actors share a piece of scripted dialogue, than voice a decision tree. It meant that to me Rook often felt like a bystander in their own story, or excluded from their own found family. HR Manager-core, as it were.

General uselessness of the Lords of Fortune coupled with the Orientalism of the Lords of Fortune.... big sad.

I think the choice between Lace and Davrin is highly!!!! suspect!! do you go with fantasy racism (kill off the only dwarf, thus meaning all your dwarf companions are dead in the game, including the one who represented to future for her people) or the real racism (kill off the black man). I really wish this decision was more reactive, and perhaps based in faction strength or character bond, not just a pre-set choice.

I'll never care about solas, the way trick weekes wants me to care about solas. pretty dumb decision, to make a whole game contingent on this fact.

The ending and epilogue screens were underwhelming, and left the game feeling incomplete to me.

Joys!

To end on a more positive note...

everyone is hot. I honestly think everyone is hot. No other dragon age game had a cast of characters whom i all found attractive. This is unheard of. This is why I know all the fic will be fucking stellar.

And you know who else is hot? Rook. Genuinely one of my favourite DA protagonists! Maybe bc of the faction thing, or just the chemistry of the VA I chose. I just felt like she was pretty fucking hot tbh, and that more people in-game should be taking notice of it. Everyone should stop having conversations with each other and start desiring Rook carnally.

Weisshaupt was genuinely an amazing sequence and questline. In fact, I loved that this game featured Grey Wardens more heavily, and I loved all the lore about Wardens that was introduced.

Assan!! <3 Manfred!!! <3

Bellara and Neve kissing with tongue!!! No, I will not elaborate!!!

(I think that Bellara and Neve were two characters who did have strong stories, and that they should kiss about it.)

Elgarnan and Ghilanain.... never before has a dragon age game known what it's like to have a charismatic villain. This time, we got two. Ghilanain was my favourite, bc I'm fucking gay, but even interactions with Elgarnan and his boss battle felt engaging. I honestly don't think a dragon age game has ever had a good villain before, and these guys were both fucking cool.

[theemissuniverse]

“WHOS PANTIES???” MILEENA X FEM!READER

SUMMARY : Okay to sum it all up do y’all remember that one episode of that 70s show where Donna finds panties in the vista cruiser and then she confronts Eric at the diner? Well I’m going to be doing that bc it was funny in my head.

Also for context, Jade exists in this world now and Mileena’s father is alive becauseeeee I said so

WARNINGS : Um none I think????

Mileena was insanely jealous of the connection you shared with Jade. It was absolutely annoying seeing the two of you together. Considering also that you were an Earthrealmer and Jade was an Outworlder like herself.

You knew this and always tried to reassure her that nothing was going on. Well, today was going to be a bad day for you.

Johnny Cage, Raiden, Kenshi and Kung Lao had decided to come with you to Outworld as they were on a short mission. The four of them had just claimed to stay in your room while you were off with Jade.

Mileena was also in the room, trying to find some sign that proved her theory. “Princess Mileena, I highly doubt that (Y/N) is cheating on you with Jade.” Kenshi told her.

Johnny Cage nodded in agreement. “Yeah, she sucks.”

“She didn’t let you play with her magic stick?” Raiden questioned him.

Johnny sighed. “Yeah.”

“There’s got to be something wrong. Jade is not all that interesting for (Y/N) to be hanging out with her every second.” Mileena stated.

Kung Lao nodded in agreement. “She has a point.”

Raiden stood up from his chair and walked over to Mileena offering her a hand on the shoulder. “(Y/N), would never cheat on you, princess.”

Mileena was starting to give in to his words. That’s when she saw it. Underwear. Not just any underwear, panties. Panties that she knew wasn’t yours.

The princess carefully picked them up and examined them. “Please tell me one of you invited some woman in (Y/N)’s room.”

Everyone turned their attention to Johnny. Johnny was on his phone and he could feel the stares. When he looked up, he gave them a look. “What are you looking at me for? If I knew any Outworld women - I wouldn’t be here.”

Rage. Pure rage consumed Mileena. She trusted you and you do this to her? You and Jade would pay.

She didn’t say a word. She marched out the room. “She didn’t say anything. That’s a very bad sign.” Kenshi said. They all gave each other a look before rushing out to find you first.

You and Jade were sparing with each other. Jade had knocked you down with her stick. She then had her heel on your chest. You groaned in pain. “Damn. You’re good with that thing.”

Jade smiled. “It just takes a little practice.”

You were about to say something but then you saw your Earthrealm friends rushing over to you. “Are you okay?”

“Did we miss anything?” Kung Lao asked.

“Of me getting my ass kicked? Yeah.” You said jokingly.

Raiden noticed the position you and Jade were in and knew it would be trouble if Mileena saw you like that. “(Y/N), I’d highly recommend you get up…like now.”

“Why what’s-“

“(Y/N) (M/N) [if you have one] (L/N)!”

When you heard your entire government name, you knew it was hell walking on Outworld. “Oh boy…” You mumbled. Jade immediately got off you and you stood up from the ground.

You dusted yourself off and looked at Mileena, trying to smile. “Hey, babe-“

“Don’t ‘hey babe’ me! I trusted you and you cheated on me with this strumpet!” Mileena yelled, pointing at Jade.

Johnny bent down a little to whisper to Raiden. “What does strumpet mean?”

Raiden, obviously not wanting to say ‘hoe’, he tries to hint at it. “The ‘H’ word.”

“Hot wheels?”

Raiden looked at him like he was the dumbest person on Outworld but chose not to say anything.

Jade gave Mileena an offended look at her choice of words. “Excuse me?”

Mileena did not hold back. “Yeah I said it! You want some of this? Come on!”

You had absolutely no clue what was going on. You got in between Jade and Mileena so they could have distance. “Mileena, Jade and I were just sparing with each other. That’s it!”

Mileena did not liked to be made out to be dumb. In her mind, she had all the evidence right there and you were treating her like she was stupid. “That’s it? I found this pair in your room and I know you don’t wear these so stop being foolish.”

Your eyes darted at the panties in her hand and you gave her a look, genuinely not knowing where they came from. “Panties?”

“Ah.” Kung Lao says. “So she admits they’re panties.” Johnny nodded in agreement. Kenshi and Raiden turned to the two of them like they were stupid.

Mileena pushed Jade slightly. “Next time you want to fool with somebody else’s lover why don’t you take your underwear when you’re done?”

Jade started to get annoyed but she had laughed. “By the gods- (Y/N) could not have a woman like me if she tried.”

You nodded. “Yeah!” Then you realized what she said. You slowly turned to her. “Wait what?”

Mileena hit you with the pair of underwear that was in her hand. “So these are some other woman’s underwear?!”

“Whoa, no offense but Princess Mileena, you’re on fire.” Kung Lao told her with a laugh.

Jade waved everyone off. “I do not need this. Figure your relationship out.” She said while walking away.

You honestly didn’t know what to do. How could Mileena believe you? You looked guilty as ever. “Mileena, you have to believe me. I have no idea where those came from.”

All of you heard footsteps and your attention turns to Sindel. “Mileena. That pair of underwear is mine.”

Johnny and Kung Lao both let out a laugh of utter shock when Sindel had said that. “(Y/N)! You are a god.” Johnny and Kung Lao start to get on their knees to bow to you.

You rolled your eyes with an annoyed look on your face as obviously you did not sleep with your girlfriend’s mother.

Just about everyone shared the same amount of annoyance. Raiden and Kenshi were actually regretting having Johnny and Kung Lao here.

“A god I say.” Johnny said and they bowed to you again.

“You idiots.” You tell them before bending down to smack their heads. They all grumbled in pain and stood up.

Mileena pulled her mother to the side slightly and shoved the underwear in her chest. “Mother, why was your underwear in my girlfriends room?”

Sindel sighed, slightly embarrassed. “That was before (Y/N) was staying in town. Your father and I just…needed a new location and..”

Everyone made a disgusted noise and face when she said this.

“So…” You trailed off, waiting for an apology from Mileena.

Mileena sighed, crossing her arms. “I’m sorry.”

“For…?”

“For not trusting you.”

“And…?”

“And if you don’t take the apology, I will skin you alive.”

You nodded and pulled her into a hug. “Works for me.”

“Aw. It’s a happy ending after all.” Johnny said and then he turned his attention to Raiden. “So does it actually stand for hot wheels or…?”

Raiden blinked his eyes slowly and chose to just walk away.

[cloudycleric]

watching a documentary on the son(s) of sam, & it’s got me thinking about stranger things 5.

the first thing that makes me think about stranger things is the fact that hopper’s spin off novel, back when the novels were more adult or whatever, was heavily inspired by the son of sam case in new york. i can’t remember if the son of sam case was specifically mentioned or not, or if the book was about a parallel crime to son of sam but in a different universe, but there is definitely a link connecting them.

next, i’m going to talk about the cult (which was also in the spin off novel, but the stories in the novel & the real life crimes by the ‘sons of sam’ are almost identical)

i was remembering specifically that the church has been a important place in the filming of season 5 so far, & like everyone else, i’m wondering why. my theory: the citizens of hawkins, who now 1000% believe that the city is being attacked by the devil or demonic forces, have started a cult to worship whoever they believe the devil is.

the cult forming could be out of fear or pure insanity. or maybe both. it also very much goes with the satanic panic theme. (which, to be honest, though i think it’s an overused theme, it makes sense for the town of hawkins to be reacting this way).

the real life cult, called ‘the children’, claimed to be working for a higher entity, talking about how 6,000 year old dogs (demidog parallel) had been giving some of the members orders to kill.

these are the flayed from season 3, who were given specific instructions to kill & expand their army. in a way, they could be viewed as children of vecna &/or the mindflayer. also, in this scene in particular, the flayed are meeting underground in that building we first see billy get possessed.

do you wanna guess where the children met? a place they called the gutters. for some odd reason i can find 0 pictures on google of this place, but you can see it in the documentaries sons of sam & i’m sure a few others. it was also abandoned, like the building billy was killed in, graffiti everywhere with references to classic 70s cult shit.

also—all the victims of the son of sam were mainly teenagers… hmm maybe like s4?

so my official thinking is that maybe, just maybe, a cult worshipping vecna or whatnot will be a big part of s5, or that the son of sam case inspired more than just the hopper spin-off book.

[emo-trash101]

Guys I don't know if you can tell but slow burn is actually not my strong suit

Home is Where the Heart is

Pt 4

Daisuke x Male! Reader

Pronouns: second person, implied male

Word count: 1k+

TW: People going insane, Jimmy, murder/death, general mouthwashing stuff, internalized homophobia (this is just generally for the whole series)

Day 64

It took a whole day of coming up with a good excuse as to why your door was now broken, and sufficient begging to get Swansea to come fix it. The second part was probably because he knew he would have to bring Daisuke along with, and that Daisuke would likely spend the whole time talking to you.

Swansea never was stupid, and you know that just as well as everyone else. But the way he talked about you and Daisuke's friendship, like it was something more than just that, it made you think he was stupid. You weren't gay, and you knew it, why couldn't anyone else?

But that led you to where you are now, sitting on your bed silently while Daisuke is talking to you about how far he is in the game he's playing currently (even though by this point he's played through it 4-5 times at least), and Swansea grumbling at Daisuke to pay attention and actually do his work.

"Hey, lay off him a little bit." You say halfheartedly, trying your best not to notice the way Daisuke's face lights up when you defend him. "I will the second he actually does some work." Swansea says, somehow being passive aggressive and just aggressive at the same time.

Either way, Daisuke looks at you, a smile on his face. "Thanks!" He whispers, trying to be hushed, but you both know that his concept of volume control is completely and utterly non-existent. You nod, trying your best to not make eye contact with him again.

It hurts to look him in the face, this feeling boiling up inside of you. You honestly can't tell if it's anger, or anxiety, or any other common emotion. But it exists. And you hate it.

It takes about another half an hour for them both to finish fixing the door. There's obviously still a dent within the door, but it looks at least more usable than it was an hour and a half ago. "Thanks Swansea." You say, him mumbling a half-assed 'yer welcome' before marching out of the room. His footsteps slowly fading away.

Daisuke stands there, a look on his face like he has something he wants to ask or say. "You can spit it out" you say, your voice coming out more harsh than you expected. His eyes widen slightly in shock before he sighs, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, "Sorry about that. I've just been wondering," he stops for a second, looking at you leaning against the wall next to your bed, "Are you...doing okay?"

His face looks unusually filled with worry, a look that you decide doesn't suit him at all. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be okay?" You look at him, feigning confidence. It feels weird, being this concerned about someone being concerned about you, but you try your best to ignore it. "I dunno, you just seem, off. And like, I totally get it if your social battery is plummeting, sometimes I get like that too and it is definitely not awesome."

He continues on for a minute or two, but stops when he notices you just looking at him. You're not saying anything, just looking at him, caringly. His face reddens slightly "Sorry, just long story short, I just want to make sure my friend is okay." He says, and you feel a slight sting at the word 'friend'. You knew you were friends, but hearing him say it, like it's a concrete thing happening, it hurts, and it's terrible.

"Yeah...I appreciate it." You say, and Daisuke smiles softly. And things feel less confusing for a minute. You aren't worried that people have their own incorrect opinions on you. You were here right now, and you were looking at your friend.

Friend.

Day 70

You couldn't sleep the night after they fixed your door. Or the night after that. It's been 6 whole days you haven't been able to sleep, and tonight is no exception.

You sit up on your bed, your feet planted on the hard ground beneath you. The ship always feels chillier at night, but it's hard to tell if it's just because of the placebo effect or if it's actually cold.

So now, like every other night, you stand up and leave your room. It's easier to think and walk at the same time instead of staying stagnant. It makes you feel nervous.

You slide a thin jacket over your larger T-shirt, sighing softly at the comfort it's warmth brings you. You step out of the room, checking to see if anyone else is wandering around before making your way to the lounging area. Maybe being somewhere else might help with clearing your mind.

You walk carefully, wincing when a step sounds particularly louder, and before you know it, you're standing at the entrance of the lounge room. As you reach to open the door, you hear some rustling inside of it.

You silently debate just not going in there before you decide that maybe at least having some company might be nice. You open the door, and low and behold, Daisuke is standing behind the counter, 2 sugar packets sitting on the counter, and one open in his hands. "It isn't what it looks like, I swear!" He almost shouts, placing the open sugar packet on the counter and raising his hands defensively.

"Oh so you aren't stealing 3 packets of sugar right now?" You ask rhetorically, chuckling softly. His head drops in defeat, sighing, "yeah...I guess it is." His sad reaction almost makes you laugh even harder.

You walk closer to him, carefully closing the door to the lounge, "Don't worry, I won't tell" you say, leaning against a nearby counter. He says an excited thanks before lifting up the sugar packet, mentioning random topics between each taste of sugar.

It almost felt good listening to him enjoy himself, not like the other times where you feel like you're about to go into cardiac arrest or something. This feels real, and grounded. Before you realize it, you've gone brain dead again, just staring at him as he talks.

"Earth to (name)?" He says, grabbing you by the shoulder. "Y-yeah? Shit sorry I zoned out" it feels like you've been doing that a lot lately, but then again a lot has been on your mind, "what were you saying?". He looks at you, his eyes containing something different in them.

You had been paying a lot of attention to his eyes recently, you sometimes could convince yourself it was on accident, but now you rely on it to tell you what he's thinking. But now? You couldn't even tell. "I just wanted to know if you wanted some." He said, offering the bag to you, a kind smile on his face. "Oh...yeah thanks." You say, dipping your finger into the bag and licking the sweet dust off of it.

You could say what happened next wasn't real, or was just a dream, but you know better.

After you lick the sugar from your finger, you look up at him, muttering a small thank you. What annoys you is that he's just tall enough that you need to look up to really make eye contact with him. You wanted to say something, anything. Maybe thank him for being such a good friend, or ask him how long he'd been sneaking the sugar, but your brain seems to be unable to actually form a coherent thought.

But it's not like he isn't looking at you either, actually his face is much closer than you remember it being when you thanked him. Have you really been in your thoughts this much that you didn't even notice him leaning down.

Had you focused on this detail any longer you would've probably missed the feeling of his lips making contact with yours. It was insanely unexpected, and confusing and everything.

It ends just as fast as it started, and before he can even fully pull away from you you step back, dropping the sugar as a result. You don't even have the energy to look down at the mess you definitely just caused.

You touch your lips, almost as if you'd be able to feel the ghosting of his on them. "You...you kissed me!" You say, more in shock than anything.

More thoughts than you can process are running through your head that you can't even tell if he says anything. 'why did he do that?', 'how did I not realize he liked guys?', 'when did he start liking me?'

'why did it feel so good?'

"Shit I'm sorry I thought...I thought you wanted it too and it just seemed like the right moment and-" he continues profusely apologizing, and even if he doesn't, you notice the tears pricking at his eyes.

You can't even listen, or do anything. Your natural instincts kick in and you just leave.

You rush out of the lounge as fast and quietly as you can, almost throwing yourself back into your room before you close the door. That shouldn't have happened, you guys are just friends, you and him are nothing more, you shouldn't be.

You slide down against your door, frantically grabbing at your jacket to try and ground yourself. You didn't like him. You can't like him, not like that. It feels almost like you're not even the one saying that to yourself anymore, it sounds more like your father than anything.

As you look up at the ceiling, and close your eyes, your body shaking from anxiety and shock, only one thing truly crosses your mind.

You like him.

You like a boy.

I'm beginning to think I have a weird addiction to ominous endings with weird one sentence paragraphs, but it's probably fine.

Make sure you drink water and eat food!

Last and Next

[lostonmyroad]

Moments That I Want Tattooed On My Forehead From S-Classes That I Raised Chapters 50-70

As always, BEWARE OF SPOILERS!!! Future chapters may be referenced!!!

The insane amount of lore dropped in these chapters wow

Chapters 50-60

help its genuinely still so funny to see yoojin in the early chapters going: “all i have to do is complete this one (1) task and then i can live like a slacker” before he gives up (cries in cale henituse)

everyone referring to yoojin as “monster daddy” and asking him to raise their children is amazing. no notes 

ARRIVAL OF THE KING SUNG HYUNJAE!!! He's a bastard he's amazing he's always on my mind

"...no matter how amazing Sung Hyunjae might be, he wouldn't be able to notice it easily. He wouldn't press his nose against my body and smell me, like my idiot brother had, would he" um. ok??? yoojin's completely normal though process

sung hyunjae essentially telling yoojin “aren’t you tired of being nice? don’t you want to go apeshit” within 5 minutes of their first real conversation

i forgot shj gives him a pair of earrings!! (and a bone for Peace)

yoojin’s disguise to get to the f rank dungeon being a fucking sun protection hat…it’s giving marvel baseball cap and sunglasses…and he has this because he used to stage one man protests??? sir what were you protesting against

oh that’s right the dungeons will appear at a faster rate because “time was only reversed for yoojin” oops

Chirpie makes its debut!!

yoojin trying to hide where he got chirpie from “i found it in the hallway”. king if yoohyun wasn’t suspicious of you already that would do it

yoohyun yeeting Peace and mama yoojin scolding him

chef myungwoo :))

bleh bug dungeon. i’m with you yoojin that was disgusting

yoojin not wanting to use Last Repayment :((

Riette makes an entrance! do you think riette demonstrated girl power when she abused her brother until he became an s rank

yoojin thinking about how he had raised yoohyun and was so happy about sending him to college…saving money for his tuition…and just losing interest in riette :((

yoojin saves bak hayool!!

this is where we see peak yoojin mafia behavior. unhinged. but justified revenge?? this is why i don’t understand fan interpretations where he’s like a wallflower like this man has murdered multiple people quite violently 

chapter 60 is just so much. like. i cant even describe. yoojin you need so much therapy

the way he sees people’s last memories before they die ugh…

yoojin playing 3D chess while everyone else is playing checkers fr

him calling his friend who doesn’t remember him bc of the regression and telling them to live a happy life always gets me ufffff i wish we got to meet this character

Chapters 60-70

Yoojin and the Awakening center — a tragedy in the making. Pre-regression trauma galore

The Association rears its ugly head!!! Yoojin has an authority figure problem (but it’s completely justified)

love how chill Yoojin is about Chirpie. random F rank monster that’s cute as hell that’s eating Peace's weight in magic stones and was born from an error in the system??? ehh no big deal it’s my pet now and i’ll kill for it

love the absolutely random detail about seok hayan’s pineapple earrings. thank you geunseo you know what the people want

yoojin funding public research!! hero of the people and my heart

yerim refusing to praise yoohyun and myeongwoo to their faces hahahaha. all of them petty as hell

MYUNGWOO GETS HIS SS RANK SKILL BABYYYY

yoojin still trying to protect myungwoo i love them

yoojin: *is keeping secrets from yoohyun and putting himself in danger*

also yoojin: why is yoohyun being cold with me

everyone’s giving yoojin flowers today lmfao

sung hyunjae you’re everything to me. you’re so bizzare. the bouquet??? showing up in a 2-seater car?? bullying seok simyeong??

Shj reminding Yoojin to wear his seatbelt because he's an F rank HDJEKXIDKD

oh yoojin. “who’d want to place themselves through hardships on purpose” like SIR are u that un self aware

yerim listening to this bullshit, eyes falling out of her head: i’m literally going to crazy murder you with yoohyun

the dungeon ppl have the actual worst timing. yoohyun is going to McFreaking lose it

yoojin and yoohyun finally work things out we love to see it :))

chapter 65 starts the explanation of the 50 s ranks requirement!!! water droplet is going through it

so much is just casually dropped in this chapter like. yoohyun is a born s rank! the dungeon ppl are manually inputting things for yoojin! the world might end! anyways!

yoojin having such strong mom energy that the dungeon people forgot he was a dude

one of the moments ever when yoohyun and Peace burn down the dungeon in worry and yoojin’s just there like. ah. shit. my bad i fucked up there a little

grown up Peace my beloved

chapter 67 yoohyun my beloved. you are so crazy. “hold still while i chop off your arm and fake your dear so i can keep you safe” 

the han brothers finally having a real conversation. yoojin i love you but you really needed to do this sooner

PEACE STAYING SMALL JUST SO YOOJIN CAN PICK HIM UP UWAHHHH MY HEART

Newcomer joins the battle

Chirpie turnin on the TV by itself and yoojin praising it like every proud parent ever

more monsters!!!

unicorns (white + black bc yoojin is terrible at naming) + gryphon (named Blue)

yoojin’s training method of using himself as a human chew toy is traumatizing for everyone around him.

same hyuna i would also be taking 10939392 photos

Peace and Blue WWE match. flex on em Peace

nobody:

yoojin: wow myeongwoo is hot now

BLUE LEARNING HOW TO OPEN THE FRIDGE

i love the monster shenanigans

[beemers-hell]

you did doc hcs....and tricky hcs...how about Jeb (not biased)

this is perfect actually bc like a week or so ago I was asked by Another particular Jeb enjoyer to spill my hcs about him (hi walnut lmao)

anyway:

Jeb HCs!

Around 65~70ish

Trans Man, doesn't care enough about relationship stuff to pick a specific orientation label

Around ~7'04"

South West Asian

Autistic As Fuck, generally very anti social and self isolating but people can get into his good graces and he'll try to show a bit more for them

Due to the fact his body has literally fuckin blown up + he's been in possession of the keystone fragment for so long (and I imagine wielding the KF is gonna fuck you up in the long run) he deals with a whole host of body aches and pains and afflictions, and also arthritis bc that dudes pushing 70 ofc lol

His savior complex thing is a direct result of him having the "I have to fight tooth n nail for what I think is right" brand of autism, compounded with just the insanity of everything in Nevada of course. His initial plan to end Project Nexus was gonna be it for him for his "I need to do whats right" mission, but the keystone fragment kinda drove him fucking nuts, so the "i must purge Nevada of all sinners Period" thing happened as a result

Yeah him n hofnarr had a thing going on, he was a bit too closed off to be fully open n honest about it at the time and now that hofnarr is tricky and he's the way that he is, he regrets how shut in he was. he's too stubborn to give up on tricky entirely which is why I have them still working together to do shit in general, esp in dad au stuff cause boxxy right, but he's not tryna like, figure out how to revert tricky back to hofnarr, he's just tryna maintain a connection with him in general despite the insanely different routes they went down

Jeb is incredibly selfish and Will do whatever the hell he wants if he thinks it serves his mission to do good by Nevada, however he isn't an evil morally bankrupt mf, like doc he's just an asshole, and he's tunnel visioning his way through his crusade. You won't catch him harming people for no reason, and this esp applies to like, kids n shit, but he's not above putting a mf through hell if it means his goals are accomplished

could argue everyone loves guns n shit but Jeb LOVES loves his guns, lil weirdo autistic special interest in firearms (and religion in general but this is about weapons lol)

masks like 24/7 this dude is not comfortable at ALL being ND. He's reserved for the most part but when he speaks oh boy is he bringing out that fuckin thesaurus!

he tries his best to look kept together bc "Savior of Nevada" and all that but dude struggles fuckin bad with executive dysfunction, like his hair is greasy as hell </3

[kindestofkings]

got a book for every situation

ryan mcmahon x reader

reader runs a bookstagram/bookclub but instead of just reading about love, until she meets a certain drummer...

authors note: guys i think i love ryan an unhealthy amount

yourusername

location: london!

liked by bookfan1 and others

yourusername heyy guys sorry I've been kind of quiet on here but I've MOVED egh it's been v scary and hectic even though it was only from Dublin to London. don't worry tho bookstagram will stay alive !

hows everyone doing?! what are yee reading rn?

view 100 comments

bookfan1 wow city girl! I'm reading normal people at the moment :)

yourusername ik shaking things up hehe, also hope you're enjoying the heartbreaking miscommunication ... bookfan1 it is hard out here :(

bookfan2 no way I'm living in london ! lmk if you need any friends here xx

yourusername omg yes! I was thinking of starting a bookclub? thoughts? bookfan2 yes I'd so be down !! bookfan3 me too! I just moved here aswell

bookfan4 currently just buying books and not reading them

yourusername meee, expect I'm now broke from moving so I'm on a self-inflicted book ban 😔😔

ryanmcmahon_15

liked by elijahhewson and others

ryanmcmahon_15 get on your jogging shorts and pick up a brush

view all 83 comments

inhalerfan1 ok artist 🥴

inhalerfan2 your bob ross era omg

yourusername

liked by yourbestie and others

yourusername new city but same old hopeless romantic <3 maybe london will hold a romantic interest ?

also next months bookclub is organised so keep an eye out for my story with the dets 💗

view 70 other comments

bookfan1 yayyy can't wait!!

bookfan2 omg getting closer to a face reveal by the day

yourusername 🤭🤭

yourbestie YOU COULD EASILY HAVE A ROMANTIC INTEREST IF YOU TEXTED THAT GUY ! (also come home I miss your bookclub)

yourusername ughh leave off it ! he was just being nice .. yourbestie oohh yeah he walked up to you at a bar, talked to you for a few and then gave you his number only because he was being nice... mmhmm bookfan2 omg text him what the hell! bookfan3 this is the stuff of books! bookfan2 is he cute?? yourusername ahahha yes. and fineeee I'll text him 😅 terrifying😅

ryanmcmahon_15 added to his story!

location: london!

replies:

bobbyskeetz ehhhhh what do we have here??

joshjennkinson_ IS THAT THE GIRL FROM THE BAR !!!

↳ ryanmcmahon_15 it might me yes 🤭

inhalerfan1 ryannnn okay cheater !

yourusername posted on their story!

location: national gallery!

fear I'm terrible date company, but in my defence there was stuff to read EVERYWHERE

replies:

yourbestie WE DONT CARE ABOUT THE PLAQUE HOW WAS THE DATE !!!!

↳ it was so good, he was the sweetest and really into art and and is really passionate about music and and and he was just really pretty ...

↳ yourbestie omg girlllll you are hung UP

ryanmcmahon_15 great company* lets not lie

↳ ahhh have you not made me blush enough this month !

bookfan1 stop you are slay, he's so lucky for your company !

joshjenkinson_,bobbyskeetz and elijahhewson just followed you!

yourusername

liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others

yourusername happy 9 months to my pride and joy, our book club <3

your support has meant to me and has supported my reading addiction, big MWAH !

I've met so many new friends, insanely made it onto three publishing houses pr list?!?!? and got a job all through this little bookstagram. you all are the best xx

view all 100 comments

bookfan1 wooow we love a successful queen !

bookfan2 reading is sooo hot and sooo slay

bookfan3 is that a book bouquet? and a pic taken by someone else???

yourusername mwhahah eagled eye youuuu. also HOW cute is the bouquet ! (liked by ryanmcmahon_15)

inhalerfan1 high key why did all the band follow a random bookstagram?

inhalerfan2 shes irish living in london, maybe they're friends from home?? inhalerfan3 but then they'd already follow her tho

yourusername

liked by yourbestie and others

yourusername dating a musician means one thing... associating tunes with books !!!

(also getting your oranges peeled for you 😭😭)

view all 75 comments

yourbestie y'all are adorable, I love <3

bookfan1 he seems so sweet !

ryanmcmahon_15 you forgot forcing people to listen to lana del ray...

yourusername oh yeah !! how could I forget that I'm bettering the lives of others :))) bobbyskeetz he does be humming let the light in constantly. yourusername awhhh too soft for it

inhalerfan1 ooohhh is she dating ryan !?

yourusername

liked by elijahhewson and others

yourusername ugh sick with love, but he reads my favourite books and instead of annotations he paints them 🥹

also tickets for next month's book club are out this sundayyyyy ! Xx

view all 123 comments

inhalerfan1 omg boyfriend ryan is everything

joshjenkinson_ ryan being in his bookworm era has the tour bus kinda quiet

bookfan1 sooo invested in your relationship , also have the alarm set for the tickets !

ryanmcmahon_15

liked by yourusername and others

ryanmcmahon_15 black and white is owned by lewevans btw

view all 88 comments

yourusername being really cool is owned by you btw

joshjenkinson_ 2/3 pics you're reading, yourusername your power is unmatched 🤭

elijahhewson reading era

inhalerfan1 hahaha ugh I love them your honour

lewevans 🖤 🤍

yourusername posted on their story!

gorgeous boy <;3

replies:

ryanmcmahon_15 love you ❤️

↳ LOVE YOU MORE

inhalerfan1 im so so jealous of you

bookfan1 when are you writing a book about your love story ??

↳ hahhaha omg imagine ! dont tempt me..

yourusername

location: new york new york!

liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others

yourusername yeah my boyfriends pretty cool but he's not as cool as

THE BOOKSTORE THAT I FOUND WHICH SELLS BOOKS AND PICKLES !!!

view all 64 comments

bobbyskeetz meeeee, im a brooklyn babyyyy

yourusername you get me.

yourbestie you are SO cool

bookfan1 wait I need all the details ??

yourusername it was the cutiest little secondhand bookshop in the lower east side of manhattan but they also make their own pickles

the end

what did you think? 😏

[legendary-guest]

All outfits I made for my Drakgo Teacher AU! Discussion under the cut. Lore/casual fic/part 1 here.

It was very important to me for all of these outfits to look like things that canon Dr. Drakken and Shego would wear, not just by lifting palettes from canon, but by incorporating design elements seen in the clothes they wear and finding outfits that feel appropriate for their ages.

I personally believe that the age gap between Dr. D and Shego is not insignificant, there's a clear difference in the way they behave and carry themselves in canon that signals this to me, aside from the fact that Drakken went to college with James. I'd say about 10-15 years, and their clothes should reflect that, not to mention their overall tastes. Dr. D's the butt of a lot of mid-life crisis jokes (by me, LOL), but he doesn't strike me as the sort to dress like he is going through one (this is what the villain career is for, aside from it being an extended and hilarious mental breakdown. The mullet is a holdover from the 80s, not trying to recapture his youth, in my opinion).

I wanted more 80s/70s older style clothes for Drakken, but a lot don't feel like him, and the brown palettes for many of them cross over with Mr. Barkin too much. Dr. D loses his identity with the shift in colour. He works well with deeper purples and reds, but him being listless, and honestly just plain depressed, had to be reflected in the colour choices. Even the long sleeves, hinting at this insecurity he has over his skin that I have made a point of in my Teacher AU. I've seen it a couple of times in fanfic, and I've enjoyed it immensely as an element of characterisation for him.

Chinos make their appearance here, and this Ms. Go's outfit is a slight remix of the original. I characterise that outfit, where she was effected by the Attitudinator and became Ms. Go, as something she would wear at the very beginning of her training as a teacher. Here, she has a bit more bite, more of the Shego we know and love, not as demure.

I gave her a tie in one of them because I love ties and she looks so chic with it. I really wanted to incorporate her belt from her original suit, but it's too garish to fit in with any of her outfits here, and it doesn't suit anything 'normal' or anything slightly professional/chic. Drakken's was easier to implement, more subtle.

Ms. Go palette is mostly green here for story reasons, too. It helps her in gaslighting the kids. If she wears greens and neutral colours, mostly, they won't be able to really tell that she IS green. I love the idea of a teacher Shego just seriously messing with kids' heads, I've had a few teachers like that in my life, who take great amusement in watching them trip over their words, or just outright lying to them to get a funny reaction.

The Good Ms. Go also has shorter hair, which I thought was so interesting - long hair as a hallmark of Shego's evilness - even Drakken's - so I just tied it up here. If I want her to go into evil, I can just by having her let her hair go, or if she just settles down with Dr. D, it's fine, too. It's also just practical as a teacher, makes her look put-together. Headbands make women look young, I find, there's a real girlishness to them. Ms. Go is a woman! And WHAT a woman!

Finding clothes that were professional yet edgy - o my God. The trek. Shego gave me a run for my money, I will tell you. If I had to redo any of this, I might be inclined to incorporate more asymmetry. I love her original suit, it's so striking and disorienting, it's actually insane to me that Stephen Silver designed that and everyone JUST AGREED, AND SAID IT WAS FINE, YEAH, WE'LL ANIMATE THAT?! Crazy. IN 2D, TOO!

Now, original Ms. Go has heels, and even Shego wears heels in So the Drama. Why no heels here? I didn't want to draw new feet and adjust the height, okay - BUT ALSO! She's still got that holdover from her hero days. She's got to be ready at any time, to spring into action!

FORGET THE FACT THAT SHE RUNS AND JUMPS AND SOMERSAULTS IN THE DAMN THINGS IN SO THE DRAMA, OKAY! She can afford to go to Mount Olympus and have Midas karate chop the calf and lower back pain away. She doesn't have a good masseuse/physio/chiropractor here in this AU. PRE-MIDAS! (Hm, maybe Dr. Lipsky could help with that?)

[thehyperfixationspeedrunner]

HIIIIIIIIIII WE HAVENT TALKED IN A WHILE HRU

WHICH HYPERFIXATION ARE YOU ON NOW HUH 👀

AND WOULD YOU REC?

HIIIIIII, I FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL YESTERDAY AND I'M IN EXAMS SEASON SO I'M NOT DOING GREAT, HRU???

Girl, you just opened a big bag of worms cause this hyperfixation has taken over the other like 4 that were in my mind at the same time (one of them since January).

There are just a few things I have to warn you about the show before I throw my words at you: there is blood and violence, they do not shy from that; there is physical abuse mentioned and shown (although it's just shown in one scene, if that's the only thing bothering you but you wanna watch I can tell you when to skip); there is cursing, nothing major just what a high schooler would normally curse; abusive relationships and bullies are subjects that are heavily spoken about; death, don't know if that's a trigger but better safe that sorry and I'm pretty sure that's it

First, I have to ask you two questions:

Do you like supernatural stuff?

Do you like gays?

If the answer to both of them is yes, then you need to watch dead boy detectives. It's a series about two ghosts (Edwin Payne- "the brains", spent 70 years in hell, sassy little bitch, from London 1916 and speaks like it, gay, a fucking nerd, somehow everyone is in love with him except his crush (more like the crush doesn't know that he is in love with him, but whatever), so much trauma it's insane, tumblr's favourite; Charles Rowland- said crush, "the brawns", so bisexual but doesn't know it yet, do you know that character that is so charismatic and funny but actually has so much fucking trauma? That's him, daddy issues (because of abuse), from 1989, has a magical bag, so fucking british, so fucking protective of his friends it's insaneee like he will kill someone for them) and these two ghosts are detectives and solve cases to ghosts so they can move on to the afterlife.

This show is so fucking well written, you have no idea, like Charles and Edwin's relationship is so unique, because even though there is a romantic subtext they are best friends before eveything and they know eachother so well it's so rare to see such good friendship where they are so open with eachother in media specially between men (also their ship name is painland, if that's not enough reason to watch the show idk what is).

Another great example of the amazing writing is that characters like Charles normally have their trauma super overlooked, but in this show his trauma is treated so well, there is still a lot to work from it (reason 484837 why I need a season 2) but the other characters actually see his trauma and acknowledge it, it's so fucking satisfying to me because these type of characters are always my favourites but they always have that lack of development (I sometimes confuse between my mutuals who likes what but I'm pretty sure you have read hoo so you know Leo Valdez? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about).

Speaking of development, they do not leave characters behind. There is this character called Niko Sasaki, who is this girl who loves anime and loves love and is always so positive and so sweet and always thinking of others. Now, when someone describes this type of character, my first reaction is "oh, so she's just the comedic relief who is going to have a shallow ass personality" (no shade to that type of characters, shade to the writers who leave them behind), BUT SHE'S NOT. She also has her traumas (dead dad, literally almost dies, more shit that I don't wanna spoil) and they acknowledge it and they develop her. She may not be one of the main focuses of season 1 (I'm pretty sure if we get a season 2, she's gonna have more screen time because of... [spoilers]) but she still has some character development, in the 3rd episode they are solving a pretty brutal case and she says that she doesn't want to be part of it because she litterally almost died the previous week and it's totally okay, she stays at home watching scooby doo and eating noodles, again so fucking satisfying.

Since we're talking about Niko, I have to talk about the dynamics of this show because OMG THE DYNAMICS OF THIS SHOW. Like, you look at the way I described Niko and the way I described the boys and you would think that they would focus on Niko and Charles relationship, right? The two charismatic kids, makes sense. Wrong, it's actually Niko and Edwin's. At first, you're like "you're gonna pair Mr. Horrible at relationships with other people and hates physical touch with Ms. Loves love and hugs fucking everyone?" BUY IT WORKS, IT WORKS SO GODDAMN WELL, IT'S INSANE, they easily became my favourite dynamic of all times, it's so fucking good. Actually, Charles and Niko is the only dynamic that isn't really developed in this show (which is a crime honestly, how could they).

Another thing is that there is one (1) antagonist out of four who isn't likeable. And that fucker is litterally Crystal's abusive demon ex (I've realised now that I haven't talked about my queen yet, she's a bitch, she's a physic, she's fucking badass, she doesn't know who she is until the 8th episode (not in a philosophical way, she litterally loses her memory) and her dynamic with Edwin is fucking hilarious, it's an on going competion of who gets to be the bitcher). There is a witch who is immortal, kidnaps young girls to feed to her snake and has an obsession with getting revenge on the boys and Crystal (they hadn't met Niko when they confronted her for the first time), but she serves cunt everytime she's on screen and she's so hilarious, you love to hate her and deep down you also love her. There is a cat king who is the reason Crystal, Edwin and Charles get stuck in the town they spend the season (they live in London, the town is somewhere on the US coast, technically it's just Edwin who is stuck, but they're all ride or die) all because he wants to fuck Edwin but Edwin doesn't, but his hilarious and annoying in a funny way and a loser and a simp. There is a woman from the afterlife office who spends the whole season trying to catch the boys (who are running away from death, it's a whole thing), fails and ends up stuck with them, I just got mad at her when she interrupted a love confession, but we got it later so it's fine. Then there's David the demon (yes, that's his name, yes, that's hilarious) who is Crystal's abusive ex, is able to get inside her mind whenever he wants and is just so fucking annoying (but is such a great simbol of abusive relationships and how much they scare you even after it's over).

Also, no one, and I mean no one, in this fucking show is straight, whether it is confirmed or not it doesn't matter (although 4 of the nine recurent characters are canonically queer).

Don't know if you heard about it, but this is from the same universe as the show The Sandman and there are two cameos in this show (both Death and Despair get a scene).

There are two things that weren't perfect in this show: the fact that Charles and Niko got one (1) scene together (fucking crime) and the CGI, not that it's all bad it's just they focused on the more visual scenes that make you go uuhh and aaahhh but there is a roof where they sometimes talk where the CGI is so bad, but it's just background shit, do not decide not to watch because of it the only scenes like that are the roof scenes and a scene in the forest (again, background shit).

I did just spend around an hour writing all of this, you are not gonna read this whole ass essay, but just watch the show, it's on illegal sites Netflix (although if you have Netflix, put it, even if it's just background noise, we need the views, this is Netflix and a not that cheap queer show we're talking about)

[thetepes]

I'm gonna yap in here for a sec, cuz honest to god I feel you're one of the few people whom I can have a nuanced convo about this in this damned website

I REALLY havent been vibing with the glorification of people like stalin and mao here. Like, I too hate the current wild and unregulated capitalistic system we have in place, but to go and defend men who killed so fucking many is wrong as fuck.

I get wanting to question things reported by the US and th US military, that is a good instinct (as someone whose country has been negatively affected by US intervention, I dont trust the US and the military) and i also think its good to not paint everyone living in china or north korea as mindless, unemotional drones, these people lived there their whole lives and have families and emotions and bla bla. But. To go on and say that both of those govts have done nothing wrong is like ??? (And denying the ongoing uyghur genocide is also scummy as fuck)

I am also very iffed that people say that everyone who left cuba had family members that owned plantations and shit, i think the castros suck but i also think it was shitty that it was a US playground for a long time.

Sorry for the extended yapping

Yapping is always welcome.

I feel the reaction is similar to... well, any standard in the west? Christianity is king so we have to swing the total opposite and be anti-theist, ignoring how that can be deeply antisemitic, belittling, and harms minorities more than anyone else. They just see themselves as taking a swing at their oppressors, but like a kid at a party having a go at a piñata, there's other kids standing behind them that just got cracked over the dome they have no idea about.

They've been hurt by republican politics so they defensively swing so far left they to say they're democrats is an insult. Now all republicans are evil, they support Trump, don't they? They support all this evil so they're evil. These people have completely lost sight of the human condition. We aren't all knowing. We aren't all understanding. We aren't a hive mind, perception rules us and there will simply be people who see things as better another way.

Nevermind that, let's face it, people in America voted red this time because a gallon of milk costs 5$ now in a lot of places. Inflation is killing people as fast as the complete lack of healthcare and on top of it, no one is hiring. Insurance rates are insane. Housing, car, and health. Unaffordable. The wages haven't gone up since the 70s and they aren't hiring anyone. Everyone 20 to 40 is just getting fucked around. Biden did nothing to help, he got lost walking to the podium multiple times.

That's why they voted red.

These people are not online. They don't know about the insane racist bullshit. I don't know how to delicately explain that everyone I know in real life doesn't have time for the internet and has no idea what a proud boy is or what white privilege is or what's going on in California, Boston, or New York. I barely do. I worked three jobs last year and did under the table work for a few places. I have bills to pay. I have to make money to send home. My family lives in a country that couldn't even afford to be in Eurovision last year, I have 14 siblings - some of which are minors - and we are hosting people fleeing the war with Russia.

We live in one of the richest most advanced countries in the world and we can't afford to enjoy it. People see two options. Red and blue. Your third party candidate doesn't mean shit. It's red or blue. That's how America works and if you don't vote because you see yourself as above the system, oh enlightened soul, you're just giving your vote to whatever evil you see as worse.

Red promised to lower the cost of living. Blue banked on women's rights. They lost. Women voted red. They voted red the same reason countries like mine accepted communism at one point. Freedom for security.

That's the cost of communism.

Hell, that's the cost of socialism in a lot of ways. Socialized medicine sounds so good until you look at your taxes. Where do you think that free education and healthcare comes from? It all sounds like a fairytale until you've sat waiting months to see a general practitioner. Want to see a specialist? Good luck. You need a referral then you're put on a list. How long's the wait? Well, it depends. On what? If someone else gets tired of waiting. It could be months. It could be longer. Suddenly just being able to go get same day xrays starts looking good.

You couldn't pay me to go back to Europe just based on healthcare alone. I'd die. I have chronic issues, are you kidding me? You need referrals in America for some doctors, but the longest I've waited is about two weeks. You can just pay to go see a guy. You can just walk in any ol' place. I've gone in and been asked if I have a referral, said no, and seen the doctor anyway because at the time I could afford it because I was married.

I'm sorry, but Americans are so privileged. I'm staggered every day I'm here by just how oblivious you all are about being so comfortable with how terrible you all treat one another. Not saying there aren't good people, but you all get away with dog shit that would get you completely iced out of any other community in any other country and you think you can handle communism? HAH!

You can't even effectively communicate with people in your own discord servers.

Free living sounds so damn good until you get in that block, your room is the size of a prison cell, there's over 50 of you in one building and your whole floor is sharing one bathroom. You do not get to choose who you live with. If you get lucky, you might get one with multiple stalls. You have to clean it. There's no janitor that comes in and cleans the building. That's you. You and your neighbors have to clean and keep your building . The government isn't going to come cut the grass for you. They aren't going to fix your sink. You'll be put on a list for repairs. It will not be a short list.

Block living is shit I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy and these people have no concept of it.

The food is rationed. Comparable to food stamps. You only get as much as the government allows. You pay for that, it comes out of your taxes. Want to grow your own? You can't. There's no community garden in a block and you can't own land for you and your friends to start one. You can ask. You'll be put on a list. They'll get back to you. If you do manage to get that garden, you have to clean and keep it. If it gets trashy they'll take it from you. There's no "Well my chronic issues" The government does not care.

This isn't even getting into the construction of the place. That there would be multiple blocks in one place and the actual reality of overcrowding or having a job the government picks for you that you get no say in. This isn't getting into being completely out of control when it comes to your own country. Not knowing what evil is happening because they control television, radio, newspaper, books, everything. It just keeps going and going and they put up Eastern Europeans DNI because when we try to tell them they can't listen because the opposite of capitalism can't be bad.

Communism isn't the opposite of capitalism. It is it's equally fascist cousin and it has a body count just as high as any capitalist nation.

Those mass graves are deep and some people just disappeared. Work camps aren't summer camps where you ride horses and play in the streams. The Nazis and Ceaușescu are Romania's two greatest evils and the body count is something I can't even truly begin to explain. We, my people, my family, we're just gone and no one talks about it. We never got answers. "Where is our loved one" Just gone. "Where is our home?" Just gone. Our culture has to be kept so fucking secret for our own safety. We can't practice it openly still because it isn't safe and then I come online and see people say tarot is Romani culture and I just want to scream.

The west is so disconnected. Reading it in a book will never do it justice and these tankies prove it. Imagine thinking Stalin is worth following? The man who let Nazis kill his own son in a camp. Mao, with at least 80 million deaths to his name.

You can't trust what America says. You can't trust the American military about ANYTHING. The American military is a horrible dog owned by a cruel master. They abuse and kill and leech then send those people home completely unsupported and loose them on the civilian population to figure out the toll of that evil for themselves. It's inhumane. Do not trust America about these places, but why wouldn't you trust the people who suffered there? The people who survived and told what happened? Sometimes a fact is just a fact, but they don't care about that.

They only care about "the right side of history". They don't know the history. They care about social credit. They care about optics. They can't do an evil because they are so obsessed with black and white that the fact they're actively supporting a machine that's just like the one they hate so much is something they can't stomach. They can't see it because they'd be wrong. And being wrong is bad. Being bad is evil and evil is unforgivable. There is only good and evil to them. And people like you and I who don't fall into that thinking are unforgivable evil people, but they want us to believe their way of thinking is the way things should be.

They don't know what happened to people who communism found evil. The death means nothing to these people because if you disagree with them you deserve it.

They don't care about disabled people. They don't care about minorities. They themselves might be those things and yet somehow it doesn't get through they'd be seen as not worth keeping housed, healthy, and fed and end up in the same place I would. They don't care about anything, but themselves and all they see is free housing, free food, free healthcare. They see security. They don't care about the cost.

[shapelytimber]

Welcome to my insane rant about Van Helsing, in the Dracula Hammer movies (with art)

*Quick* explaination of @quijicroix 's and I headcanons for Helsing, and why we think Lawrence (thought it was Abraham but no it's Lawrence in the Hammer cinematic universe) and Lorrimer Van Helsing are the same person (/!\ spoilers for the Hammer's Dracula movies obviously) :

At the end of Brides of Dracula (the second film in the timeline), we see Lawrence get bitten by a Vampire, not Dracula btw, and to remedy the curse he burns his neck and pour holy water on it. And ig by the power of jesus he doesn't get turned into a vampire (boring Hammer resolution) (and he doesn't even get a cool scar).

But we call bullshit on this ! Van Helsing definetly got turned into a (half) vampire !!

1) Lawrence and Lorrimer are both played by Peter Cushing and have the same face. Now I know what your probably thinking "this argument is lazy af", and if we stopped there, yes it would be. But we see Lawrence's son in 7 Golden Vampires (the last film in the serie, but not the timeline) !! And he looks NOTHING like Peter Cushing. So either the Cushing face skipped a generation (whitch is funny to imagine), or his son, who stays in china and never returns to england, serves as a way to help him hide his immortality by taking the identity of his own son, then his grandson Lorrimer.

2) Time for maths everyone ! In Dracula AD 1972, we learn Lawrence died in 1872. BUT !! In 7 Golden Vampires that takes place in 1904 (because the begining of the film is set in 1804 and these movies are obsessed with the 100 years later trope), who is still perfectly healthy and visiting his son in China more than twenty years after his death ?? Lawrence fucking Van Helsing. The only two explainations I see are either Vampirism or tax fraud.

And that would mean his son (Leyland Van Helsing btw) had to fuck very quickly after the movie for Lorrimer to be in his 70s (?) in 1972.

3) If curing vampirism was this easy, why kill the other people who got turned into vampires later in the timeline (rip a lot of the women and Johnny Alucard) ?? It paints Van Helsing in a way better light if you assume his miraculous cure didn't work *in the second film of this 9 movie saga*, and he doesn't just kill people he could cure.

4) it would be a very interesting take on the character, the renown vampire hunter himself becoming a monster, fighting to keep his humanity (but the Hammer didn't have the balls. And we thought about these movies way more than anyone involved in writting them-).

And the circle of violence theme is not between Dracula and the Helsing family anymore, but between him and Lawrence, whitch is way more personnal. And !! raises the stakes in both Dracula AD 1972 (already the best movie out of the 9 by far btw) and Satanic Rites since Dracula isn't the vampire his grandad fought, but his century long ennemy that keeps coming back.

And the scene at the end of Satanic Rites, where Dracula (for the first time in 9 movies) manage to align two sentences and basicly say he wants to end the world because he is tired of dying and coming back !!!!! Whitch is very heartbreaking already, but if he says it to the man who killed him (nearly) everytime ??? (We don't talk about that time Quatermass got him) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ok I lied this was not quick but this!!!!!! Is something that has been haunting us for months, and in the words of Quiji : "People need to know."

I'm also working on an illustration in whitch this headcanon of ours is pretty central <3

[fandomwe1rd0]

Sentencing Rick's crimesss!

We're doing our favorite abusive old man babbbyy! Now, to be clear, some people on YouTube did do this, but they tended to stop around season 3, and I'm gonna do until season 7. Also, I am not a lawyer. I am just a weirdo with too much times on her hands with Google, so this probably isn't 100% accurate, I'm simply doing this for fun! Now, let's set some ground rules for sentencing everyone's favorite chaotic neutral old man!

Only his crimes on Earth towards humans or animals on earth will be counted. Yeahhhh sorryyyyyy. I know the majority of his crimes are in outer space, butttt something tells me that you can't sentence someone for crimes that they committed while in space, probably like a diplomatic immunity thing, so he's lucky, maybe that's why he commits so many crimes in space, but worry not, there are still plenty of crimes he committed on Earth.

He will receive the max charge for every crime, while you may get a lower sentence for certain crimes if you show guilt, or are young, Rick rarely shows guilt, and is a grown ass man. I mean he's literally 70, so the court will probably give him max sentence for every crime, this also just makes it easier on me.

Any crimes that are subjective will not be counted, example, Rick saying in Total Rickall that he made a similar mistake of shooting something innocent on a planetary scale will not be counted, only the crimes we see on-screen will be counted, this also makes it easier on me.

I am not counting the comics, (I know some of them are set in Rick's universe, butttt I have not read them, and cannot find to motivation too, hahahaha depression's a bitch.) NO I AM NOT COUNTING THE ANIME! FUCK YOU! THAT'S NOT CANON! I REFUSE TO THINK ABOUT THAT EVER AGAIN! Or any of their games, since to my knowledge, they aren't canon. I am strictly staying to the TV show, I hope that doesn't upset anyone butttt I mean c'mon-

I am counting all of this with U.S laws, since we do not know what state they are in (Beth does say she was from Michigan, but, she uses past tense, so this implies they don't live their now) so I will only be counting them by U.S Texas standards, since that's where I live.

I am only counting what normal Rick did. Not tiny Rick, not toxic Rick, and not healthy Rick. Only normal Rick.

Those are the rules, now let's go straight to the crimes!

Flying while being unlicensed. Now…this subject is uh…kinda complicated. I did see many credible sources saying it is legal to fly without a license if you are piloting a specific aircraft, it is legal. Butttt I'm pretty sure Rick's spaceship wouldn't count as an acceptable aircraft to drive without a license. Soo he will be fined $32,666 as he did this, he did this 3 time on Earth, in the pilot, we see him driving his spaceship drunk, that will be important later. Then in the dragon episode (Dragon episode, I hate you) he did this again when he went to pick Jerry up. Then in the dinosaur episode, he did this again. I will not be counting all the times when he comes home from adventures with Morty, since I'm genuinely unsure if that would count or not. So with this crime alone, Rick would pay a fine of $97, 998. Sooo yeah-

Flying under the influence. Now…one could argue Rick is always under the influence…which well you wouldn't be wrong. But I'll only be counting the times where he is noticeably intoxicated. Which, correct me if I'm wrong is only in the pilot. The max sentence for that is $2,000 and 180 days in jail. Which is insanely generous if you ask me-

Child abuse. I meannn we all knew this was coming. In Rattlesnack Ricklatica, Rick becomes angry with Morty when he messes something up, and gives him a black eye. Now, I did say we wouldn't sentence him for crimes that weren't in space, but since he's doing this against a human child, I would say he can still be sentenced for a crime. He also slaps him 2 times, once in Lawnmower Dog, and another in Rick Potion #9 when Morty was having a panic attack (Which is totally helpful and wouldn't make the panic attack worse at all!) He also emotionally abuses Morty a lot, and since it will take wayyyyy too long to count all of the times he emotionally abuses Morty, I'll just sentence him once for it, cool? Cool. There is also medical abuse due to the chips he puts in Morty. We don't know how many exactly, but we know there is at the very least 3. He put a chip that can turn Morty into a car, and a chip that can turn Morty into a boat. He also "child-proofed" Morty to make him able to breath in space, so he gets 3 more charges on medical child abuse. Now since none of these cause serious bodily harm to Morty, it counts as a misdemeanor. We charge him 4 times for these crimes, and we get about 3 years and 6 months in jail. Again, insanely generous.

Involuntary manslaughter. This one was complicated to place, but I decided to count it anyway. So you might remember in the pilot, Frank threatens Morty, and Rick freezes Frank, and runs off with Morty, which leads to him accidentally having Frank fall over and die. I was considering listing this as 2nd degree murder, since he froze Frank, and that might count as having a desire to bodily harm to victim, but not kill them, butttt since Rick seemed to only want to stop Frank but not killed him, I did not count it as 2nd degree murder. It also counts as involuntary, since he did not have any maliace while committing this crime, he was just too lazy to unfreeze him, which counts as a negligent act. I am also counting the president security guard (Or wtf they are called I dunno) died when he touched Rick in the season 3 finale, since Rick told him not to touch him, but he didn't listen, this act didn't have malice and Rick didn't intend to cause bodily harms to this person, but still committed it sooo, for that his sentence is 40 years!

Attempted murder. He tries to kill Amy's (She's Mr. Poopybutthole's wife btw if you're confused) new lover in Poopy Got His Poop Back. The sentence for this is 20 years sooo yeah.

1st degree murder. Now if we were counting the crimes in space, this would be too much to list, it's good that I decided to just due his earth crimes, since counting his full kill count sounds like pain. I was tempted to count the 2 people who died on Rick's lawn in the turkey episode, butttt Rick was techinecallyyyyy using his property rights, so I won't count it. He did evaporate 2 people in Get Schwifty, so I'll count that. Other than that, I don't think there's any. 2 is way less than I expect, butttt he does commit most of his crimes in space, so ig that counts. So he would get 2 life sentences for these. He did also do the same to someone else in the same episode, but he was protecting the president, so this doesn't count.

Offering alcohol to minors. I did not know he did this for the longest time, but in Mort: Raganrick, he offers Morty a mead (An alcoholic drink, I had to search that up because I did not know what a mead was-) which Morty rejects. The max sentence for offering alcohol to minors, is a year and $4,000

Grevious Bodily Harm. Now, I've seen what Rick did in Prime's universe count as mass omnicide, and while I can definitely see this, Prime Jerry conrimed that the people were still in there, just trapped in the horror, so for simplicity, I'll just do one count of grevious bodily harm without intent. The max sentence is 5 years.

Attempted mass omnicide. He tried to kill the entire world in the pilot. He is so insane I love him. Now it was hard to find a sentence for this, since there was very little information, but the only one I could find was 15 years in jail and $500,000 fine.

Substance abuse. This is self explanatory. 10 years and a fine of $10,000.

Battery. He said he was going to kill Jerry and was about to fight the president, so this would give him around 2 years.

Physical assault He slapped Jerry, got into a slap fight with the Devil, assualted 4 people (They all deserved it though) in the post end credits of Rickful things, and fought the president. For 7 charges, he would get 70 years in jail, and a fine of $70,000.

Conspiracy to murder. He was planning to murder Jerry in the season 3 finale, the max sentence for conspiracy is life.

I mayyy have missed some, but that's all I got for right now, now some honorable mentions!

More 1st degree murder. A lot of it was self-defense, so I didn't add it.

Drug possession, he does possess drugs, but they are space drugs, so I didn't count it.

Animal cruelty. He did kill all the snakes from the snake planet, so I considered it, but they were alien snakes, so I didn't count it.

All of his sentences and fines added up: 3 life sentences, 167 years, 3 months, and 180 days in jail, and $683,998 in fines! It's what he deserves <3 (Affectionate)