#like i get it!! ok!! it's probably very hard to be on such a public stage having every bit of yourself analyzed and hated on

[mapis-putellas]

𝑯𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅

Pairing: Alexia Putellas x reader

Words: 1325

Warnings: none

Summary: You hack Alexia’s instagram.

It was almost too easy to get Alexia's Instagram password. It started off as a casual "help me, please" when she couldn't get her account to update one day. You'd offered to take a look, and within minutes, she'd trusted you enough to give you her password. Now, you sat on the sofa, staring at the list of questionable, slightly embarrassing photos you'd taken of her over the past few months, knowing exactly what you were about to do.

Alexia, the captain of her team, usually kept her public image squeaky clean. Polished, strong, professional. The world knew her as a serious, disciplined player who could take on any challenge. But you? You knew a different side of her. One that stumbled in at 3 AM after a night out with teammates, cheeks red from laughter and wine, or who sent you the most ridiculous selfies when she'd just woken up. She was adorable, and for the past few months, you'd kept these little memories tucked safely in your camera roll. Until now.

You bit back a grin as you selected the first photo. Alexia was sitting at the dining table, mouth stuffed full, eyes slightly glazed from the wine you'd been sharing. It was a terrible, hilarious photo, and it was about to become her new post.

Caption: "Sometimes is very... muy hard... to eat without make mess. But is ok! Me es captain, after all."

You held back a snicker as the post went live, imagining the horrified look she'd have if she saw it.

It didn't stop there. You scrolled to the next photo in your phone—a selfie she'd taken in a mirror after the shower, wrapped in just a towel with a smirk on her face. She probably took it as a joke for you, but that smirk practically begged to be captioned. You could almost feel her cringe from afar as you typed it out.

Caption: "Today I am very... sexy time. But not for you to see! Only for one very... special person ;)"

"Oh, she's going to kill me for this one," you muttered under your breath, posting it and then closing her profile quickly, pretending like nothing happened. You chuckled to yourself and set your phone down, feeling like an evil genius.

Hours later, you'd managed to stay out of her account just long enough to keep her from getting suspicious. But your "prank" felt like it was only getting started. You'd posted a few more times, each one worse than the last.

There was a picture of her at a team dinner, mid-sentence, with an expression that was a cross between a sneeze and a frown.

Caption: "Sometimes the food make me very... emotional. Is the passion, you know?"

Then another one of her curled up on the couch, half-asleep, wearing a mismatched pair of socks with her hair sticking out in all directions.

Caption: "Me, the powerful captain. Even in my dreams. Especially with... socks of power."

At this point, the comments on her posts had started blowing up. Fans were bewildered. Some thought her account had been hacked. Others were tagging her teammates, asking if she was alright. You, however, couldn't stop laughing.

It wasn't until later in the evening that you got the call. You were mid-laugh at another comment under her most recent post when her name popped up on your screen. Alexia had finished training, and judging by the number of missed texts and calls, she'd discovered her Instagram feed. You braced yourself as you picked up.

"Cariño," her voice came through, breathless and tense. "What... what happened to... my Instagram?"

You could picture her standing there, wide-eyed and mortified. "What do you mean?" you replied innocently, biting back laughter.

"The photos! And the... the... 'sexy time' caption!" she hissed, her Spanish accent thick and heavy with frustration. "I did not write these things!"

"Oh?" you feigned confusion. "But they sound like you. Very... passionate, no?"

There was a pause, then an exasperated sigh. "No, no, no," she said quickly. "This is... how do you say... loco! They think I am... silly!"

You could barely keep it together. "I mean, you are a bit silly. Remember that dinner photo? You look very emotional about that food."

"I am not emotional about food!" she snapped, sounding utterly betrayed. "This is bad, amor. Very bad. My teammates... they send messages. They say, 'Alexia, are you drunk?'"

You couldn't hold back anymore and burst into laughter. "Oh no, did they really?"

"Yes! They are very... how you say... worried! And my mother! My mother called, asking if I was okay!"

"Oh, that's brilliant," you wheezed, doubling over. "You should've seen this coming when you gave me your password."

There was a long, heavy silence. Then she groaned. "This is why I do not give my password to anyone."

"Guess you learned your lesson," you teased. "And you might want to check your latest post..."

Another beat of silence as she presumably opened her app and saw the final post you'd queued up: a picture of her in the mirror, flexing her arms with a ridiculously intense look on her face.

Caption: "Strong like bull, but soft like baby."

"NO! No, no, no," she cried, her voice barely a whisper. "This is... humiliation! My fans, they will... they will think I am crazy!"

"Or they'll think you're adorable," you countered, still laughing. "Which you are, by the way."

"You are so... how do you say... evil," she muttered, clearly flustered. "When I see you, I am going to... to..."

"To what?" you asked, grinning. "Hug me?"

"No, not hug," she huffed. "I am going to... to..."

You could tell she was struggling to find the right words, her English flailing under the pressure. "Going to what?"

She finally managed, "To... squish you like... like... tomato!"

That only made you laugh harder. "Oh, scary! The big, bad captain is going to squish me like a tomato!"

She grumbled in Spanish, clearly flustered beyond belief. "When I come home, you will see. No more password. Never."

"Whatever you say, 'strong like bull, soft like baby,'" you teased, unable to resist.

"Stop! No more of this!" she whined, but there was a slight hint of laughter in her voice.

"Alright, alright. I'll log out of your account," you promised, finally starting to relent.

A few moments later, a message popped up on your phone, the last straw for her, apparently.

Alexia: I am changing my password NOW!

With a smile, you sent back a quick response. "Can't blame you. But I think your fans quite enjoyed this little show."

Alexia: I do not care. Fans are important, but... no more with you. Never again!

You: "Oh, come on. You're the one who trusted me with your password."

Alexia: Big mistake!

By the time she finally made it home, you were still grinning ear to ear, waiting for her to walk through the door. When she did, the look of feigned anger mixed with absolute embarrassment on her face made it all worth it.

"There you are, my strong, soft baby," you greeted her, barely able to get the words out without cracking up again.

Alexia narrowed her eyes at you, arms crossed as she tried to appear stern. "This is not funny."

You grinned, taking a step towards her. "Oh, it's a little funny. And admit it—you looked cute."

She scoffed, but you could see her cheeks turning slightly pink. "I... I do not like this joke."

You stepped closer, pulling her into a hug despite her resistance. "Come on, admit it. You love me even though I'm an evil genius."

She sighed, reluctantly wrapping her arms around you. "Maybe. A little."

"That's all I needed to hear," you teased, kissing her cheek.

"Just remember," she murmured, her voice soft but with a mischievous glint in her eye, "I know where you sleep."

**

Tags:

@girlgenius1111 @codiemarin @ceesimz @marysfics @goldenempyrean @silentwolfsstuff @xxnaiaxx @liloandstitchstan

[mjshortformcjesus]

OK LOOOONG POST (i ranked all the saw traps except for the spiral ones)

starting with the worst and i’ll work my way up :3

74. lawnmower trap (saw 3d) because its boring and stupid

73. edgar munsen’s trap (jigsaw). this whole movie sucks ass but. the lack of filter on like this whole scene pisses me the fuck off

72. shotgun chair (saw v) idek it just sucks

71. hangman’s noose (saw 3d i believe) its really boring and basicccc

70. cyanide box (saw 3d) boring as hell im afraid

69. sentry gun (saw 3d) its kinda funny i suppose???

68. hoffmans ugly fucking rbt (saw vi) its fucking ugly

67. suspended cage (saw 3d) i would survive this no problem

66. chain hangers (jigsaw) i dont care for it and the needles and i hate it

65. spike trap (saw iv) its good i think its just like the one trap i cant watch :/

64. scalping chair (saw iv) idkkkk its justs like boring and yawn (really funny on 2x speed though)

63. grain silo (jigsaw) lordddd its badddd

62. electrified staircase (saw ii) i think this would fix my knees but like. the way its filmed lowkey sucks

61. public execution (saw 3d) good golly this one ugh. i think it couldve been good if it werent a stupid reason to get put in a trap

60. drill chair (saw i) lost points for being named jeff

59. shotgun keys (jigsaw) funny. i suppose

58. shotgun hallway (saw i) i liked sing ;-;

57. freezer room (saw iii) slow ass fucking jeff

56. cycle trap (jigsaw) not a personal fav but the corpse is really funny

55. brazen bull (saw 3d) diy top surgery ig but the wife didnt deserve that

54. ceiling jars (saw v) they couldve all fIT IN THERE

53. antidote safe room (saw ii) i hate xavier and i dont really enjoy when he cut the back of his neck off :/

52. electric bathtub (saw v) i liked the lady that got zapped ;-;

51. razor box (saw ii) its good but also akdjdjosjeoskdo

50. disembowelment (saw x) wooble wooble wooble

49. gas chamber (saw x) i hate cecilia so sos os os so much

48. oxygen crusher (saw vi) its a wee bit fucked up ngl

47. buckets room (jigsaw) personally i dont like it very much but @w3bcu1t does and i love her

46. neck tie trap (saw v) LMAO THE DECAPITATION

45. pipe bomb (saw x) ughhh its good but ughhhh

44. zep’s test (saw i) idek yall

43. magnum eyehole (saw ii) yea

42. spine cutters (saw iv) i liked art…

41. bedroom trap (saw iv) its icky but well done

40. horsepower trap (saw 3d) all i wrote for this was “lur lur lur” idk what that means

39. leg wires (jigsaw) ://////

38. wisdom teeth combo (saw 3d) the peanuts :3

37. jeff’s final test (saw iii) kajsisjslkaksndkd

36. razor wire maze (saw i) man oh man its a classic

35. the furnace (saw ii) :3

34. steam maze (saw vi) yea

33. exploding puppet (saw iv) OWAGHH lindseyyy

32. pig vat (saw iii) juice

31. flammable jelly (saw i) ngl its just for the name

30. knife chair (saw iv) hehe ha

29. eyeball vaccuum (saw x) slurrrppppp

28. silence circle (saw 3d) i wont explain myself

27. nerve gas house (saw ii) lowkey this trap fucks hard. easily the best group trap

26. laser collars (jigsaw) listen. i know it sucks. idc

25. the cubeeee (saw v) in my cube. straight up breathing it. and by “it” well haha lets justr say. neck air

24. classroom trap (saw iii) again. my notes just say “lur lur lur”

23. brain surgery (saw x) pabdodjeokeow

22. impalement circle (saw 3d) i…have no idea

21. radiation (saw x) gabrielaaaaa

20. bloodboarding (saw x) ITS SO AINSOEMEPW

19. pendulum (saw v) he-he got cut in half lmao

18. acid room (saw vi) tghe fucking body melting??? PEAK

17. bathroom trap (saw i) gay people

16. ice block trap (saw iv) fuck eric amiright

15. venus fly trap (saw ii) i loveee this one but poor michael probably didnt deserve that

14. shotgun collar (saw iii) live. laugh. lesbian.

13. pound of flesh (saw vi) this is a classic and i love it sm

12. the gallows (saw vi) AMERICAN HELATHCARE

11. shotgun carousel (saw vi) USA 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅!!!!!

10. 10 pints of sacrifice (saw v) when- when the hands do the flappy i lose my shit

9. amanda’s test (saw iii) ANSOSJOSJknosjoskijsi&/918Jwboajaosj

8. needle pit (saw ii) isjsisjsoajaoanoak

7. reverse bear trap (saw i and 3d) amajda ambda andbaa mandy ambda amanda (and jill i suppose)

6. mausoleum (saw iv) mmmmmmmmmm

5. eric’s test (saw ii) oh goodness. i fucking hate eric matthews.

4. bone marrow (saw x) i really like this one

3. glass coffin (saw v) silly haha

2. the rack (saw iii) THE PRACTICAL EFFECTS RAHHHHH

angel trap (saw iii) i loveee kerry i loveee the effects i loveee the rats on her in saw iv i loveee amanda appearing as kerry’s ribs get ripped open

yayayaya i did it. yall can ask if you have questions :3

[lewiseb]

begging lando norris to stop airing out his personal confidence issues infront of everyone and the world. it's making you look sooo bad bro and i say this with as much understanding as is possible and only a little bit of contempt

[healmyhrt]

Ok so like yk how Chris always slaps Matt’s or Nicks ass well what abt they are like live on instagram or sum and he kinda just forgets and slaps the reader ass yk and he doesn’t realized u til Nick or Matt say something and so they is like edits on tt and yea 

⌗ public, c. sturniolo

chris x fem!reader

summary: what the request says :)

disclaimers!: established relationship, ass slapping, flirting, cursing, use of y/n, very short

a/n: i love when yall send requests and start it with “babe” like … what r we 😉??

“where’s matt? probably sleeping or something.” chris responds to a comment. nick sits back down next to him, handing him a pepsi can.

“but yeah guys, we’re back home in LA. and we just wanted to come on here and say hello for a bit.” nick smiles into the camera.

i walk into the kitchen, and open the fridge, unaware that i’m in camera view. “y/n, come say hey to the live.” nick smiles.

i walk over, a gallon of orange juice in hand. “hey guys.”

the chat starts going insane, and i slowly start to step away. chris grips the tee im wearing (which was his), and pulls me back. he manspreads, and i glance at the phone. chris shrugs, and i give him a look.

“wanna sit and talk to them, y/n? i can move seats.” nick suggests. i shake my head, and walk back behind the island. chris stands, and walks over to me.

all you could see in the background of the live was chris towering over me.

“why didn’t you sit?”

i glare at him. “you guys are on live, chris.” he shrugs. i cross my arms. “i thought we weren’t going public.”

“so friends can’t sit on other friends laps?” he smiles, and leans closer toward me. “chris.” his smile widens when he hears me say his name. “christopher.”

“call me that again.”

i laugh. “you’re unbelievable.” i begin to walk away, still in view of the live camera. i hear chris chuckle underneath his breath, and next a slap to my ass cheek.

i stop in my tracks, and turn around trying to contain my myself while i look at chris. nick had turned around, and his mouth gaped open.

“yall are fucking ridiculous.”

nick turns back toward the phone. “um… on that note, i think we’re gonna get off. i love you guys! bye!” he says.

nick picks up his phone, and walks over to us. “chris, you’re fucking insane. are you actually mental?”

i stand next to him, and look at chris. “THANK YOU!!” chris rolls his eyes, and i walk out of the kitchen, turning down the stairwell to chris’s room.

i hear footsteps behind me, already knowing who it was.

“what the hell was that chris?” i ask in a genuinely confused tone. he tugs on his bottom lip with his teeth.

“i thought it would be funny, sorry.”

“you’re the one who said you didn’t want to go public yet because of how hard it would be to have a girlfriend, then you do this shit?”

i sit on the edge of his bed. chris slumps down beside me, and leans his head onto my shoulder. “im sorry.”

i sigh. “its fine.”

chris pulls his phone out, and sees a text from nick.

“look what you did dumbass.” the text read. i giggle at the message, as chris slides it to the side, opening it.

it was a tiktok video of a screen recording from the live, and the clip was of chris slapping my butt. my eyes widen.

“shit, they’re fast.”

[gingersxng]

Inappropriate Touching

Pairing: f!reader x Seonghwa x Yunho x Mingi x San

Genre: smut 18+

Summary: walking down the hallways on your new exciting job you came across a group of young handsome actors.. but it soon turns out acting and reality isn’t that far away from each other.

Notes: sub!reader, rough doms! Yunho, Mingi, San, Seonghwa, reader is a virgin, the boys are big perverts!!! ,they have no self control, much inappropriate touching!!!(which is not ok irl), adult movies, pet names (sweetheart, doll, darling, love, kitten, honey), groping, kissing, some cursing, fingering, oral (f receiving), licking, spitting, cum cum cum, cum eating, threesome, foursome, mentions of masturbation, dirty comments, unprotected sex (always be safe),rough sex, public sex, big dick yungi, marking (hickeys, bite marks), breeding, double penetration, slight bulge kink, recording. forgot something? maybe

Words: 3.7k

it was your first day at your new job at the movie studio. it’s been a life long dream of yours to get to work with big movie stars and now you were finally standing outside the big doors. as you looked up at the sign of the big building you took a deep breath before finally heading inside to get started.

you felt like a child in a candy store watching all the pictures on the walls of famous actors and actresses. you were soon greeted by a young woman maybe a few years older than you, she was looking so professional with a black jumpsuit, black glasses and red long hair in a big bun.

“hi are you the new assistant?” she asked softly. “yes i am, I’m y/n” you said as you shaked her hand. “I’m Joanne, I’m gonna show you around a bit to make it a little easier for you” a smile formed on your face. she showed you all different sets from both new and old movies, you had also met many movie stars and staff while you walked around the big halls. you were coming to your final part of your little “tour” when Joanne stopped dragging you to the side.

“we have to be quiet cause they’re in the middle of rehearsals”. she whispered, didn’t sound as she cared to much. you didn’t really understand what kind of movie they were making but there were four men dressed roughly in suits, black ties and some of them had smeared lipstick on their mouths. a woman later appeared around the men and you finally got an answer on your early movie question. you felt yourself blush as you observed what they did to that woman, eyes wide. “c’mon let’s go, I’ll show you your room” she grabbed your arm and dragged you with her. it was kinda quiet down the hallways to your room and so were you. Joanne finally broke the ice. “I probably should give you a small warning but you have to keep this to yourself, okay?” she said with a half worried look on her face. “alright I promise” you suddenly got anxious.

you stopped outside the door to your room. “don’t be too sweet towards those guys back there, they can get a little too friendly if you know what I mean” she whispered so no one but you could hear her. your eyes widened not believing what she was saying, they were just acting.. wasn’t they? “I don’t wanna scare you or anything but it’s better to warn you if you would bump into one of them”. you found yourself speechless and your thoughts went all over the place, first day at your new job and now you should watch out for creeps?

“they didn’t look old tho” you suddenly said. “no, as I saw on your CV they’re two and three years older than you” your eyes widened once again. she was about to say something but were interrupted by footsteps coming your way and by the sound of the voices it was them, well two of them. your heart pumped hard in your chest watching as they came closer.

“looking good today Jo” one of them blurted out giving Joanne a wink. the taller guy got very close to her while a smirk appeared on his face “your ass looks great in this suit too” he said as he gave her ass a squeeze. you literally couldn’t believe what you were witnessing and she just let them do this to her. they were soon turning their attention to you, fuck.

“what do we have here huh?” the tall one said looking you up and down. he was so tall but actually very good looking, you started to blush and that’s just what they wanted you to.. “it’s our new assistant y/n and it’s her first day so keep your hands to yourself Yunho!” Joanne snapped. he guided his hand through his hair and let out a deep chuckle, omg! “nice to meet you y/n” both of them greeted you. you gave them a small smile and crossed your arms so your cleavage got more visible and that was a big mistake. their eyes acted like magnets, getting dragged to your breasts. you knew she’d given you a warning but there was something about them giving you all this attention that made you excited.

“damn looks like a juicy one” the other guy laughed as he eyed his tall friend. Yunho let out a quiet laugh as he looked you straight into your eyes, his smile dropping fast. he took a step closer to you and got interrupted by your friend. “alright, she’s not interested in you two” she said trying to get them to leave. actually you were beginning to get a little bit interested in them but maybe it was best to keep that to yourself. Yunho gave your ass a light slap as he passed you with a smirking grin on his face. the other man reached out his hand brushing it against your stomach and up to your breasts, he stuck his tongue out and gave you a wink. “Seonghwa!! you pervert!” Jo slapped him on the shoulder.

they had finally got out of sight and you could finally let out a deep breath trying to take in everything that happened in the last 10 minutes. “I’m so sorry y/n but this is something you should get used to if you’re gonna work here” she told you looking really pissed off by the boy’s behaviour against you. you couldn’t help but smile a little, “it’s alright”. she finally left you alone and you got into your room to get some rest. it didn’t take many minutes before you were interrupted by a knock on your door, you got up and peeped out trough the little window to see another tall guy standing outside. you opened and were greeted with a smile from the big guy. “hey sweetheart, I’m Mingi” his voice were deep and vibrated right through you. you didn’t get a chance to introduce yourself before he grabbed your arms and pushed you further into your room. his actions took you by surprise and you let out a scream. Mingi hurried to put his hand on your mouth to drown your screams, when you finally got quiet he pulled his hand away letting out a chuckle when he saw the scared expression on your face.

“what are you doing!!” you almost cried out looking up at the big boy. he pushed you down onto your desk and grabbed your chin. “my friends told me about the new sexy assistant and I thought I should see if it was true.. and fuck you are gorgeous” he said squeezing your cheeks. you could feel how your thighs began to push together and how your cheeks started to heat up. Mingi brought his head to your neck starting to place sloppy kisses along it up to your ear, his hands working their way to your ass. you really hoped no one would walk in on you making out with one of the “creeps”, even if this was very wrong you didn’t do anything to stop it.

Mingi slipped his hands inside your pants grabbing a handful of your naked ass. small moans left your mouth, your hands went straight to his hair and he let out a deep groan. “you like this huh?” Mingi whispered as he pulled your jeans off you. “yes” you whispered back. he pushed you down onto your back and separated your legs exposing your clothed core to him, your panties were off you in a flash and your hole were stuffed with two of his fingers. Mingi put his mouth on your clit rolling his tongue over the sensitive nub, your back arched at the new pleasure. “you taste so good” he growled against your clit. he added a third finger and fastened his pace on your clit making a moaning mess out of you.

“here you are!!” Seonghwa bursted into your room, his eyes darkened as soon as he saw the position you were in. you couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed having your bare pussy on display in front of the new man. “I see you’ve met the pussy eater” Seonghwa pushed Mingis head down harder on your pussy receiving moans from both of you. Mingi pulled away his slime covered face from your core. “says the guy who puts his hands down women’s tops” Mingi glared at the older man. “I can’t help it” Seonghwa threw a bitter look at him, he walked over to you and slid his hands inside your top and bra grabbing your firm breasts. he looked down at your pleasure filled face, he got closer to your face and attacked your lips kissing you upside down. it was messy and hot and you could feel how you got closer to your release. Seonghwa broke the kiss and squeezed your boobs hard making you squeak. “open your mouth kitten” you did as he said and watched as he gathered some saliva that he spit down into your mouth, you swallowed it and once again he was back kissing you.

Mingi was biting your clit sending electric waves up to your brain. he felt how your pussy clenched around his fingers and he curved them to hit the spongy spot inside you making you see white. your breath hitched in your throat and you moaned into Seonghwas mouth when you came onto Mingis fingers. both of them laughed at you when they saw how fucked out you looked. Mingi licked up all the cum from your hole. “sorry but we have to go back to the set kitten, believe me I’d rather fuck you than that bitch” Seonghwa grunted pushing his face in between your breasts licking a stripe along your cleavage. Mingi stole your panties sneaking them into his pocket and gave your pussy a quick kiss before they left.

- next day -

you had some free time so you were strolling through the building sneaking in to watch some movies in the making. a hand brushed against your ass and you quickly turned around to see yet another new face. the man scanned your body taking you all in, he leaned forward and brushed his thumb over your bottom lip. “enjoying yourself kitten?” you gulped and straightened yourself up feeling how your legs began to weaken. “y-yes I do” you fumbled not knowing were to look. an amusing look painted his face when he saw the affect he had on you. he took your hand and brought you with him to their movie set, the grip he had on your hand were firm to keep you from running away if you wanted to.

they were in the middle of a break so they had some time for you. the three other men sat down in a big round sofa that was down in a dark corner, the handsome muscular man pulled you with him. their eyes lit up as soon as you got in their sight, you blushed hard and began to bite the nail on your thumb, it really made you look innocent.

“look who I found standing all alone in the halls” the man pushed you forward so you stood in front of the other three. you could see how they were undressing you with their eyes and by the tents in their pants, they really liked what they saw. Yunho grabbed your wrist and pulled you down on his lap, you shivered at the feeling of his erection poking at your ass. he tugged at your skirt and caressed your soft thighs watching as goosebumps appeared. he put his mouth to your ear and whispered “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since yesterday, maybe I could get a pic of that sweet ass if yours huh?”. his words went straight to your pussy, feeling how you got wetter by the second. “why would you want that?” you said innocently looking him in the eyes knowing exactly why he wanted it. Yunho raised an eyebrow and dug his fingers into the flesh of your ass “so I have something to watch as I’m playing with my dick” the guy chuckled. the other guys laughed at his comment. you were stuck between these four men and your mind started to run wild the more they showed how much they wanted to use you.

“do you have a boyfriend doll?” Mingi slipped out. you shook your head and the look on his face turned devilish, you pushed your thighs together more. “are you a virgin?” Yunho asked pulling your skirt up slowly waiting for an answer. you stayed quiet for a few seconds looking around at the men. “yeah, I am” your voice dropped and you felt so embarrassed. something in them snapped and suddenly they seemed hornier than ever. Seonghwa stuck his hand down your top to… dang he got interrupted. you got company by a known friend, it was Jo. she was looking for you and couldn’t believe she would find you here of all places. “what are you doing here y/n?” she was surprised to see you sitting in Yunhos lap with Seonghwas hand down your top. “I’m working..” was the first thing you could think of. Seonghwa fought the urge to pull out your breasts from your top, he usually didn’t have much self control but for your sake he made an exception. “you guys are sick” she said before she finally left.

Seonghwa couldn’t hold it in anymore and pulled out your boobs from your bra, his mouth watered at the sight of your hardened red nipples, he brushed his thumb over them and you let out a small whimper. Yunho lifted you up and handed you over to San, the big man squeezed you against his chest. “don’t move doll, my grip will only get tighter” he bucked his hips up against your ass, his clothed hardness poking you right between your cheeks. Yunho unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants enough for his massive cock to spring free standing up against his stomach. the sight was making your arousal drip down your inner thighs and you crossed your legs standing in Sans embrace. Yunho patted his thigh signaling San to release you. “come sit love” he held a hand out to you. you walked over to the tall man, he turned you around back facing him while pulling up your skirt. the lack of underwear made him groan “no panties huh? what a good girl, all ready for us to abuse” his deep voice almost breaking you.

San slid his fingers through your folds, your arousal was smeared out on your inner thighs and he could slip in two fingers with ease, after feeling how tight you were he pulled them out again turning to the tall guy. “she’s so tight you’re gonna split her in half with your monster cock” Sans words brought a worried look to your face. Yunho slapped your ass “we don’t use condoms btw, hope that’s alright with you love?” you nodded and with that he sunk you down on his big cock, the wetness made it almost too easy for him to bottom out. it was a long moan that left your lips as you felt your pussy being stretched to the max. as Yunho were bouncing you up and down his dick San was attacking your lips and Seonghwa had got dibs on your breasts marking them as his own. it felt like you were in some kind of erotic dream, they dragged out moans and whimpers out of you leaving you a fucking mess.

Mingi had pulled out his cock too, he spat in his hand and pumped his length a few times. he got up from the sofa and pushed the other two out of the way, he pushed your back against Yunhos chest and positioned himself onto you bringing his cock to your already stuffed hole. “it won’t fit idiot” San mocked the man. “I’ll make it fit” Mingi pushed the tip into your pussy making you scream, tears falling down your cheeks. Yunho pulled out a bit for Mingi to fit better, he then dried your tears with his thumb. Yunho and Mingi occupied each side of your neck while they pumped their massive dicks into your gushy hole. “fuck I swear it feels a thousand times better when she’s a virgin” Mingi groaned into your ear. a familiar feeling appeared in your stomach and it got worse with each of their thrusts. Mingi pushed your knees up to your chest getting better and deeper access, the bulge on your stomach drove him crazy. “I’m gonna cum” Yunho warned. “are you gonna let us breed you honey? let us knock you up” he growled as his thrusts got faster. being all over the place you couldn’t get a single word out but you nodded and moaned in response, your mouth hung open.

“knock her up already we’re getting impatient here” Seonghwa whined as he palmed his cock through his pants. a couple more thrusts and both men released their big loads deep inside you, their hair had gotten more messy and they had beads of sweat dripping down their foreheads. the cum were seeping out between their cocks, they pulled out and laid you down onto your back. Yunho pushed the cum back inside your abused pussy, a proud smirk forming on his face. “in a few months we want to see this pretty belly of yours grow darling” Mingi teased you, he took a handful of your little belly fat and squeezed it.

San was quick to swap places with Yunho, impatiently he pulled out his leaking cock and towered over your half naked form. he slid the tip in slowly until he was fully seated pushing both Mingis and Yunhos cum further inside you, his pace quickened fast and his hold onto your sides grew harder. “fuuck, this little pussy of yours is driving me insane” San growled, his feline eyes pierced holes through you. his mouth assaulted your sore nipples while he slammed his hips against yours with all the strength he had. you began to cry and your whole body started to hurt. Seonghwa kissed you harshly and wiped your tears away, he moved down to your neck sucking on the flesh leaving purple marks. “don’t cry honey we’ll take care of you” he purred.

you could feel Sans cock twitch, he buried his dick deep inside you letting his release paint your walls white, he stayed like that for a while not wanting any cum to go to waste. the thought of knocking you up made his brain malfunction. San pushed down his hand on your lower stomach to feel how deep he was, with a groan he finally pulled out.

Seonghwa helped you up and sunk you down on his dick. you swung your arms around his neck and buried your face in it, he helped moving your hips up and down his length since your body started to give out. each time his cock brushed against your cervix you were one step closer to your awaited orgasm. “mmh it feels so good” you whispered softly in his pierced ear. Seonghwa took his time with you and wasn’t as rough as the others, not yet anyway. he stilled his movements, you looked him in the eyes with a questioning look wondering why he stopped. a smirk appeared on his face and he turned his gaze to someone else. a pair of strong arms lifted you up on your wobbly legs and Seonghwa followed. “ready to get double stuffed again kitten?” you heard Sans voice behind you, his breath tingled against your ear and it almost made you cum on the spot. you were now sandwiched between the two men, uplifted in their arms. they both placed their tips to your entrance, it was no problem to slide in their hard cocks from all the cum and your insane amount of arousal, plus you got stretched out good a couple minutes ago by two monster cocks. they synced their thrusts as they slammed up into your sensitive core, your high pitched moans was music to their ears. the knot was building up in your stomach and you were so close now, Sans hand toyed with your swollen clit whilst Seonghwa had his fun with your nipples making your eyes turn white.

Seonghwa kissed your collarbone and cooed “cum for us now love”. San bucked up his hips and groped your ass hard, he left a bite mark on your shoulder making you cry out quietly. a few seconds later your orgasm hit you and your whole body turned to jelly, not long after you felt a hot big wave of cum entering you. deep groans left their filthy mouths as they emptied themselves deep inside you. “good girl” San said huskily as he pulled out.

after they’d both pulled out Mingi gave you your panties back that he stole from you yesterday on his little visit. you gave him a tired smile and put them on you. “I should probably go and get some rest” you said as you put your boobs inside your top again. “need some company?” Mingi asked with a nasty smirk on his face. Yunho slapped the big man on his arm “as tempting as it sounds I actually think we should let her rest for a while, she’ll need it” he smiled at you. they gave you small kisses on your face before you headed back to your room.

“she’s a keeper” Mingi said watching as your ass bounced with every step you took. Yunho groaned and placed himself on the sofa again, he took out his phone and let out a light chuckle. “did you get it all?” San asked. “oh yeah I did”

[allisonlol]

OO, how would jouno(you can also add whoever you want but JOUNO HEHZGEZGE i love him sm omg) be w an S/o who is very much stuck in the "crush phase", like giggling, blushing, smiling, hiding their face, and everything

a/n: this is such a cute idea 😵‍💫 !! def how i’d act around jouno too like oh my!!!! i also added tecchou cuz how could i not

warnings: none

(Jouno, Tecchou) With a S/O Stuck in the Crush Phase

Jouno

he def acts all annoyed but secretly loves this shit

jouno can already tell that u still get nervous and excited to see him by the sounds of your heartbeat 😭

but it warms his heart (something we all thought was impossible) that you aren’t ashamed to hide these actions

bro can’t even walk by you without u getting all flustered and hiding ur face…which is valid bc jouno is very pretty !

but he’ll sigh and shake his head, telling u to “stop being dramatic” 😭

^dw he is very much being lighthearted here and doesn’t entirely mean that!! jouno is just…not used to this kind of reaction to his presence so it throws him off a bit

the worst is when u do this shit in public 💀

^y’all will go to the store together and he leans over u to grab something off a high shelf…needless to say u are blushing and giggling like crazy (I WOULD TOO!!)

jouno gets all embarrassed and is like “STOP we are in public 😓”

which only makes it worse cuz he is so cute when he’s irritated

omfg the other hunting dogs def tease him about this 😭 tachihara practically follows jouno around asking how he can get ppl to act that way around him too??

but anyway. jouno abuses this power he has over u and purposefully does things to fluster u

^such as standing close to you, giving u random kisses, putting his arm around ur waist etc

may act like he hates it but the man has such a soft spot for u <3

Tecchou

tecchou genuinely does not fully understand how pretty he is nor the effect it has on u

he’s so tall…and strong…and OBLIVIOUS to how ur practically shaking next to him with how flustered u are

keeps asking if ur ok 💀 “are you sick, y/n? your face is all red”

gee i wonder why tecchou

whenever he bends down to kiss u, u get so nervous that you cover ur face with ur hands

he thinks this means u don’t want him to kiss u tho and is like “i’m sorry 😥”

you’re quick to explain that it’s just cuz u still get nervous around him!! but he can’t really fathom the effect he has on ppl so he’s a bit like ?????

^probably says some shit like “but i’ve literally seen u naked, why are you still nervous around me” 🫠

after awhile tecchou picks up on what is going on and sometimes messes with u to get a reaction

^holds ur face in his hands and just looks at u adoringly before giving u lots of kisses!!! u have to push him away cuz ur blushing so hard

plays it off SO WELL tho like you’d never know he’s doing this shit on purpose

i feel like tecchou was never someone to think much abt his physical appearance or how other ppl perceive him in that way, so ur reactions make him feel something new 🥹

[eevees-hobbies]

I'M ON MY HANDS AND KNEES PLEASE DO SOMETHING WITH KAJI AND BITING

Content Warning: Mind the tags! MeanGirlReader x TiredOfYourShitRenKaji. Hate-fucking, toxic behavior, degradation, sex in a public place, but plot armor makes it ok, spitting and consumption of said spit, biting, cumming inside without consent. Minors Do Not Interact.

Word Count: 1.3K

Banner by me.

Fun Facts:

If you’re sexually aroused by biting, you have a fetish called Odaxelagnia.

You probably like being bitten because you’re into pain, you sadomasochist.

It has been reported that half of all people are aroused from biting, so congrats, you’re not alone!

Kaji finds you so obnoxiously annoying that his lips curl upward into a scowl. He hates the way your eyes sparkle when you look at him–that irritating, mischievous glint shining brightly in your eyes right as he passes into your field of vision. He hates how you push his buttons with smart-mouthed remarks–every word passing through your lips laced with venom. And he especially hates how you can’t tell that he’s so in love with you that if you decided never to speak to him again, he’d choose to drop off the face of the planet.

But you were so goddamn rude, so fuck ever telling you that.

“I dunno, man. Maybe she’s one of those girls who likes their men a lil mean. It honestly sounds like you two need to bang it out.” 

Kaji gave Hiragi a deadpan stare after approaching his mentor for much-needed sage advice. Hearing him suggest that you wanted to be dicked down felt so off-base to Kaji, which was disappointing since Hiragi was usually right about everything.

But there must be an exception to that rule because the thought of you wanting to fuck him was simply:

Ridiculous.

Absurd. 

Unless? 

No! 

There’s no way you were into him. No sane person would act like you do if they liked someone.

So when Kaji finds himself at a dive bar where an underground death metal band is playing their heaviest set, his stomach churns with annoyance—and something else he’d rather not say aloud—as he sees you walk to the bathroom.

And maybe he was feeling a little brave—or stupid—that night. Because he followed in hopes that you both could squash whatever beef you had concocted in your head, and maybe he’d consider asking your dumbass out.

But as you exited the bathroom and he saw that shit-eating grin on your pretty face as your eyes met, he became painfully aware that, no, he was the actual dumbass.

“Kaji? You stalking me or…? Oh, wait,” you look behind you at the door to the restroom. “I get it. You wanted to watch me pee. I heard you might be into something like that.”

In a matter of seconds, anger consumed him, coursing through his veins like wildfire; all the negative interactions you two had, the snide comments, the poking, prodding, culminating into a very volatile climax.

“What’s your problem with me?!” Kaji doesn’t mean to grab your wrist so hard that you wince in pain—but he does. And he doesn’t mean to practically growl at you, his prominent canines on display as his lips curl upward—but he does. And he doesn’t mean to smash his lips against yours when he catches your eyes staring at his mouth—but he does. 

As the crowd in the next room thrash about in the mosh pit, Kaji is pulling your skirt up and spreading your legs by slotting his own between your thighs.

He tears his lips away from yours, chest heaving, and blue eyes blackened with rage.  “This what you wanted? To be fucked in some dive bar in some dirty ass hallway?”

If he didn’t find you absolutely reprehensible, he wouldn’t feel any shame in admitting how beautiful you look in the dimly lit hallway, lips swollen from his heated kiss, mouth slightly open, and dressed exactly like the type of girl who could run away with his heart.

You don’t immediately answer him, but your body is shaking, and for a moment, he feels as though he might have made a mistake. He’s about to withdraw and offer his apologies until he hears you cackling.

“Kaji, you think I’m scared of you? I eat little boys like you for breakfast.” Your tone is condescending, and any remorse Kaji feels for you dissolves along with his patience.

“What are ya gonna do, Kaji? Fuck the attitude out of me?”

Before he can talk himself out of it, he’s gripping your cheeks between his fingers. You try to gather enough strength to shake your head out of his grasp, but his fingers only dig in more, earning a hiss from you. And as you look at him, lips puckered in a delicious pout, Kaji accumulates as much saliva into his mouth as he can, and with two fingers prying your jaw open, he spits into your mouth. Globules of his spit land on your lips and tongue, sitting thickly and tasting like vodka.

And despite the hold he has on you, your eyes roll back as your clit seizes uncontrollably and your cunt drools.

He removes his hand from your face, repositioning it near your head against the wall so that he’s leaning into your orbit. 

“Swallow it.”

And he’s not fucking asking.

You make a show of swallowing his spit, gulping loudly as it slides down your throat, and then showing him your tongue.

“You want me to fuck you so bad, and you don’t even know how to ask for it.”

“I know how to ask, Ren.” Your hand snakes down to the bulge in his pants, and to his absolute horror, a moan bubbles out of his throat at your touch–it feels hot with want, and his brain is telling him that danger is imminent, but he can’t help but lean into the palm of your hand.

“So then ask. Nicely.”

You lick your lips, eyes hungry, and cunt the wettest it's ever been.

“Fuck me, Ren. Please, fuck me.”

“Good girl.” He unzips his pants, the sound making your heart palpitate wildly against your ribcage. As you reach down and pull your panties down your legs, you extend them to Kaji on the tip of your finger.

He sneers but takes the garment, placing it in his back pocket for future use.

You yelp as he picks you up, pushing your back against the wall as he lowers you on his cock. And there’s nothing gentle with the way he treats you. Not allowing your pussy to even adjust to his girthy cock as it rams into your tight, weeping hole.

He’s ramming into you, drumming thuds and sloppy, wet sounds echoing in the empty hallway, with only the sound of the concert drowning out the sounds of your grunts and whimpers.

You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, closing your eyes and savoring the feeling of him beating up your cunt. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!!”

“S-shut the fuck up and stop acting like you weren’t begging for this.”

Your eyes blow out as he sinks his canines into your neck, and despite the searing pain, you clench around him, your cum already coating his dick.

Kaji laughs against your neck. "You wanted to be treated like a hole? All you had to do was ask.”

He’s smashing his lips on yours again, but this time, you lead the kiss, gliding your tongue into his mouth. Your tongue dances over one of his canines, careful at first out of caution but then with reckless abandon as the sharp points of them embolden you, and Kaji groans at your forwardness.

It’s not long before Kaji can feel his balls clenching, his cum loaded in the chamber and ready to fire into you. And if this were any other situation, he’d pull out, choosing to cum somewhere far more convenient, but the idea of filling you up after all the shit you’ve given him and making you march back into the crowd without panties, and semen dripping down your leg makes him groan in your mouth and release hot, thick streams into your pussy.

Your body recoils at the feeling of his seed pouring into you, his cock throbbing as the ropes become smaller spurts until finally subsiding.

You slide down the wall as Kaji pulls away from you and pushes himself back into his jeans. He’s still scowling down at you. “Got that out of your system?”

You’re dazed, a little confused, and entirely giddy from the experience. “And if I say no?”

Kaji rolls his eyes, but he understands you now—he understands what you like and what you need, and he’s sure he can supply it to you moving forward.

[hamable]

Ok I’ve been grumbling a lot so here’s what I LOVED about PJO episode seven:

- every Sally flashback. I love seeing the struggle Sally went through, mostly alone, to raise Percy separate from a world actively trying to suck him in. There’s no good explanation for being so adamant to send him away out of love. If they lived in a normal world she’d homeschool him in a heartbeat. Her kid thinks he’s unwanted and it feels like there’s nothing she can say to make her words and actions match. Heartbreaking and really well done. It also allows me a small bit of sympathy for Poseidon, who is in a similar situation on a larger scale. (Not entirely, he’s a goddamn god and all that, but I liked seeing their struggles framed as parallel, wanting to keep Percy safe and having to make hard choices to do that.)

- loving Toby Stephens as Poseidon. Cant wait for more of him.

- Annabeth gave Grover a stress ball

- annabeth immediately takes the stress ball away and I’m like >:0 only to realize it’s bc they’re about to encounter Cerberus and Annabeth is always thinking six steps ahead.

- Asphodel was haunting, I liked it a lot.

- Annabeth getting stuck because she has regrets. It gets me thinking… Percy “good kid” Jackson (who feels like a screw up constantly, who would fall on his own sword a million times before letting someone else get hurt first) and Grover Underwood (who feels directly responsible for Thalia’s death and probably a majority of his ward Percy’s misfortune) are standing RIGHT THERE. What the hell kind of regrets does Annabeth have that she’s the first to get grabbed??

- Hades is very fun. I cannot believe this is Nico’s and Bianca’s father. And Hazel’s omfg. my heart melted when he said “I will give you sanctuary.” Do you know how big a deal that is? Percy is, for all intents and purposes, THE lightning thief, who broke into YOUR underworld, slinging accusations and speeches, blaming you for a war you want no part in (and that he, as the supposed thief, is literally the cause of) and you look at this kid. This poor 12 year old. Who Does Not Know what storm he is walking into. And you tell him he is public enemy number 1, that he is not safe anywhere, but that he and his mother will be untouchable here, should he ask for it. You tell him that you saved his mother of your own volition when we know Zeus himself would not save his own child. Legendary.

[goldsbitch]

Not on the menu

Making out in public is not something to be shameful, right?

light smut, minors DNI, angst

note: this is my first Franco fic. this man came, served and what are we suppose to do?!

When it feels this good, it's worth breaking few rules.

You and Franco. Very well protected love affair. A fling. Just two young people who somehow end up in each other's beds whenever the opportunity arises.

Working in F2 as one of the production assistants was more exciting than one might think. Everyone would always praise F1, the size of the teams, the budgets, the glam surrounding it. F2 was different, more loose and less on the spotlight. Full of professionals, who just like drivers, worked their asses off just for a chance to progress into F1. But you were just so young, just starting and unlike with the drivers, you had no rush, plenty of time for that in the next years. It was all about learning, getting to know people and also, occasionally, having some good fun. It's hard to keep young people on a leash. Lot of travel involved, hotel rooms and many people mingling around, leads to just one thing. It wasn't special or albeit scandalous to fool around with a fellow crew member, in fact many marriages started like that, no matter the rank or department. Life on the road has its habits.

So when you first ended up on a dance floor with the ever-so-charming Franco at one of the opening events for F2, it was not such a surprise that you ended at his hotel room. Way less wondering eyes and almost no glam was at these evenings, the exact opposite of F1.

By some miracle, you managed to keep it a secret, apart from few closest friends, who served as an excuse for you two to actually hang out together. These few trusted souls witnessed their fair share of tipsy make outs and laughed collectively at your hickeys, which turned out to be his speciality. You never texted, never addressed your fling when sober. Deep down you knew you were curious to see how he was as a serious partner. But he never gave off that kind of a vibe. So you protected yourself, remained cool and decided that this was the peak your relation would ever be, and that was ok enough.

"So what about you and Franco?" a friend of you both asked you, once again. You hated when she did that. In her mind, it would be a great idea to have two of her friends together. But the truth was, she was way closer with him than you were. Nothing wrong with that, but it only reminded you of how shallow your interaction were. In order to keep you dignity while fooling around with a player, you pretended to be one as well. "You know how these things are, it's just physical. I don't think he's the kind of person I'd like to date." False. You knew that, but..! You stayed on the ground, he was just a bit out of your league. Simple as that. Soon enough he was gonna catch the eye of some model and you'll be old news. The whole thing would be way worse if anyone knew that you would actually be open to at least try and date him. It was hard to stop the daydreaming sometimes. "Yeah, that makes sense," was the only thing your friend, disappointed by your response, answered. You only wondered if she had conversations like this with him as well about you.

Life was good that one evening in August. At the time, you had no idea it will the last evening of that era. It was one of the typical dinners the wealthier members of the teams organized, a nice chill place to wind down after stressful days. You were sat few places from Franco, who was charming as ever. Raining smiles on everyone and stealing glances with you.

A text notification - Bathroom?

You gulped, locked eyes with him and gave a small nod. His smile was probably crafted specifically for you, somewhere in the depths of hell. Impossible to resist.

He got up and you followed a minute later, giving a knowing look to your mutual friend. She understood and happily covered for you in case someone else caught on.

It wasn't exactly the right thing to do, lock yourself in a room dedicated for nursing mothers. But better than blocking a bathroom.

"Aren't you a little old to be in this room?" you asked when you joined him and secured the door behind you. He was leaning over a counter, fingers tapping on the top. "I can't help it, I am hungry," Franco responded and gestured you to come closer to him. With a challenging look, you took few steps towards him. "This is a restaurant, you're at the right place."

"The things I want are not on the menu." He was done playing sneaking around and crashed his lips onto yours, as if to prove his hunger. He was just too good with his tongue. Taking you, like his little victim, making you forget the outside world still existed. His hand went to grab your neck, behind your ear, because by then he had figured out that keeping you in check was the thing that made your knees weak. His lips were locked with yours, in heated frenzy, not allowing any breath to be wasted. You knew how to play the game as well, and with a soft bite into his lower lip, drawing a gasp from him, you pulled away slightly, not allowing him to take full control. "Oh," he said, trying to steal another kiss from you while you pulled away more with satisfied smile. "Is this how it is now?" he continued, tone laced with intrigue and challenge. Your tongue reached to lick his lips once again. His hand suddenly lessened the pull towards him. "Oh, hermosa," he whispered, "two can play this game." Butterflies occupied your stomach. He stepped back and to your questioning look responded with another bloody wink. And then, then he grabbed you by the hips and lifted you up in the air and sat on the counter. You gasped, only amusing him more. Lost for words, you only raised your eyebrows. "Better," he said and with audacity only young boys have lifted your shift up. Without much of a thought you put your arms up and helped him get you slightly more naked. His eyes were shamelessly focus on your chest. "Almost there," he said and gestured towards your bra. "Go on. Take this horrible thing off." You chuckled, because as charming and suave he was, taking a bra off was a moment where he failed each time. Desire fueled you into making this quick. Now that you were sat, his eyes were at a similar lever to your boobs and there was something hot about his hungry look, watching you undress even more. Once you were finally fully bare, he observed you and the locked eyes with you once again.

"Pretty," was the only thing that he said before putting his lips on your left nipple for a gentle peck and then on the right one, which received a light bite. He decided to stay focused on that one, few kisses here and there and began to suck on it while his hand pinched the left one. Arrows of pleasure flew into your lower belly. He knew your weakness, he must have because this was sending you into other dimensions. Anything that feels this ecstatic would make anyone crumble. Whatever he did seemed to always work on you. He wasted no time with gentle touches. Not enough time for that. After nearly sending you over the edge with his lips dancing around and sucking on your nipple, moved a bit upwards and went for his signature move - marking your breasts with hickeys so purple it would take a week to heal. You bend your head backwards, trying to contain any loud noises your body wanted you to make in reaction to his actions. Another twirl around your sensitive nipple, bite into your skin and a hard squeeze. You did not want him to stop, too deep in it to think straight. But that must have been his plan from the beginning, because he put you on edge and then back away. You almost let a soft "No..." escape your mouth. With a puzzled look you slowly came down and remembered you were still in public. Heavy breaths and you gulped your way back to normal. He stepped back a bit and observed his mark on you. With an approving nod, he had the audacity to fix his boner up so that it was not so obvious. "Looking forward to seeing you later?" he asked with a tone that indicated the answer was obvious. You just nodded and reached for your bra, hoping his hickey was low enough it would not be visible. But, he had never made that kind of a mistake. You hopped down and gave him one more kiss, a slow and gentle this time, before he parted back to the dinner table. You joined in a minute, after fixing yourself up and trying to make your cheeks less red. Thankfully, there was only one another amused person when you came back to the table. Your friend raised her brows at you and drank her wine as if nothing ever happened.

Everything shower, hair on point, favorite perfume - you were all set and ready for how the evening would inevitably progress. This time you even made sure to clean your room. You got too comfortable with your expectations. Watching his every move, you noticed immediately when his expression changed from a casual smile to focused frown when reading a text on his phone. Was it something serious? Would he confide in later, sometimes it happened by accident. Secrets shared among tangled sheets. He got up and sent you a cheeky wink. You had to bite your cheek in order to stop the smile your body wanted to respond with, a small bruise burning inside your bra.

It took you fifteen minutes to realize he was not coming back from his phone call. You had his number, you could easily text him. But you didn't. And just like that, he was off to F1.

[yeahxsurexokay13]

eras tour official, charles leclerc

summary: yn and charles officially go public with their relationship by attending taylor swift's 'the eras tour' on a double date with pierre and kika

warnings: none, i think. just that this is pretty short.

fc: alexandra saint mleux

ynupdates

Liked by user34, user55 and 1.850 others

ynupdates Y/n was spotted meeting fans outside Milan Linate Airport this morning! Despite the early arrival, we've been told she took time to greet and chat with everyone.

view al 139 comments

user2 early flights and still so kind?? she must be an actual angel

user4 what could she possibly be doing in milan?

user1 i was there!! and she didn't say :/ only that it was for something very exciting

user6 she’s such a queen for always making time for us 🥹

user11 doesn't she want to spend time with vroom vroom boy the one weekend he does not have a race? lol

user7 how does she ALWAYS manage to look so good omg

user3 This is why we stan her!!

user8 I MET HER AND SHE WAS SO SO KIND AND GENUINE OMG

user5 not her coming to italy when i've literally just left

user9 kika is in milan too!!! maybe they're spending time together

user10 omg i'd love that

y/n.y/l added to their story!

seen by user33, carlossainz55 and 960,179 others

francisca.cgomes replied to your story: See u sooooooooon linda ❤️

AAAAAAHHH can't wait!!!!!!!!!! 🫂

user16 replied to your story: any chance Charles is there with you? 👀

user22 replied to your story: Eras tour?? Please say yes! 🫶

charlotte2304 replied to your story: So jealous! Enjoy ❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️

user15 replied to your story: buongiorno, yn!!! welcome to milan 🇮🇹❤️ liked by y/n.y/l user13 replied to your story: IF YOU'RE AT MY ERAS SHOW I'LL ACTUALLY LOSE IT OMG

user8 replied to your story: come on just make it official with charles already!!! everyone’s in on the secret anyway 🙃

CelebWhispers

Liked by user16, user22 and 25.985 others

CelebWhispers It’s official! After months of speculation, F1 star Charles Leclerc and Y/N Y/L have confirmed their relationship by attending Taylor Swift’s 'The Eras Tour' together in Milan. They were later joined by Charles’ fellow racer Pierre Gasly and his girlfriend, model Kika Gomes.

view all 998 comments

user5 OMG this is EVERYTHING!!! 😍

user1 that last pic 🥺🥺🥺 how shes holding his arm

user8 will not be getting over charlesyn being confirmed at the eras tour i fear

user14 double date at the eras tour? iconic

user4 shocker (not really)

user10 THEY'RE THERE THE DAY BEFORE MY TICKETS I’M CRYING SO BAD

user3 yn is so iconic for bringing my 2 passions together (charles and taylor)

user12 imagine being at the Eras Tour and seeing Charles and Pierre there with their gfs

user13 LOOK AT HOW SHE'S LOOKING AT HIM

user7 why'd they fly to milan for this tho

User 6 there's no race this weekend so that's probably why they got tickets for Milan :)

user2 YOU'RE JOKING NOT ONLY IS SHE AT THE ERAS TOUR BUT SHES THERE WITH CHARLES

user15 would've never imagined them going public at a taylor swift concert but i'm so here for it lol

user14 my favourite thing about this comment section is that no one is really surprised they're just excited it finally happened

user15 girl we've been knew for AGES, that's why

user9 okay but can we talk about how cute this is?! 😭

user11 i saw someone call them the fantastic 4 and i honestly couldn't agree more

y/n.y/l ✓ 📍 San Siro stadium

Liked by oscarpiastri, user16 and 1.040.238 others

y/n.y/l in my lover era 🩷

view all 1.379 comments

user4 I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS POST

user9 ok no need to brag jeez 😪😪

charlotte2304 Most beautiful 🩷

y/n.y/l ✓ miss u!!!!! x

user1 What’s your favourite era?

y/n.y/l ✓ red<3

user11 no more soft launch, they’re HARD LAUNCHING now!!

user7 hope you had fun :) ♥︎ by author

user13 STOPPPP this is too cute 😭😭😭😭

iamrebeccad ✓ Glowing 💕

y/n.y/l ✓ see you next week. eeek!!! xx

user17 WE'RE GETTING YN IN BUDAPEST

user14 Not me screaming at my phone when i saw that last slide

user3 this is a HUGE day for insufferable girlies (me)

francisca.cgomes ✓ My favourite lover girl 🩷

y/n.y/l ✓ well YOU're MY favourite

user10 YN UR SURPRISE SONGS WERE SOOOO GOOD

user6 oh to be able to say you're in your lover era with Charles leclerc

user12 SHE FINALLY POSTED HIM

arthur_leclerc ✓ I assume this will be all you talk about for the rest of the month

y/n.y/l ✓ ****year. hope this helps!!!

user15 wait so she really is a swiftie? omg

user17 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH My god im afraid arthur and yn are about to become my fav duo

user2 now we just need to know your favorite taylor swift song

user8 You looked so beautiful!! 😍 ♥︎ by author

user5 I was there too 🤩🤩🤩 ♥︎ by author

charles_leclerc ✓ Best night with the best person ❤️

y/n.y/l ✓ je t'aime lover boy ❤️

user16 i'm so normal about this (i'm nOT!!!!)

[sashi-ya]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ エロチックトバー２０２４> MDNI / EXPLICIT CONTENT

ONLY MINE 💦 GRIMMJOW X F! READER ＫINKTOBER DAY 24: PUBLIC SEX

🐙 Requested by: Anonymous: Day 24 and Renji? Or Grimmjow? Afab reader. But just being so needy can't help himself 😩 ⚠️ tw: mdni. explicit content. grimmjow being a possessive kitty. public masturbation and vaginal, hard sex. 🐙 wc: 838 // kinktober 24 masterlist // join the taglist

“Grimmjow, honey… you seem a little uneasy… are you ok?” “Do you really think I could be ok with you wearing such a short skirt outside?” 

You giggle, still naïve about the consequences of your skirt’s lack of centimetres.

“Ah… come on, it isn’t even that short!” you joke, as prying eyes of random strangers on that club scan your legs up and down.

Grimmjow grunts at them, he is probably about to use his own hand to poke a hole in their chests. 

“Calm down, babe… they are just looking, you have m-“ you still playfully tease him, getting completely shut by a snatching claw that pinches your cheeks to look at him. You almost fell from your bar stool, as both were sitting at the counter. 

“Shut up…” he barks, as he slides his hand from your knee to under your skirt and up to your core. 

“Gri- Grimmjow… calm down… we are in public ~” you inform him, as if he didn’t know, and especially, cared. 

The blue haired man, well aware of your surroundings, realizes nobody is really watching at you, but only your body… cause that’s with some men, they don’t even care about the human attached to a pair of legs and breasts… 

“Didn’t you tell me you were mine? Let them look how mine you are” he whispers in your ear, smirking before even taking lips from there. 

Your toes curl; you were sure you were finishing this night with raw, hot sex… however, you must have miscalculated when and most importantly, where.

Fingers “discreetly” reach for your thong, moving it out of the way, finding nothing but pure wetness covering your folds. And how could you not, if the moment Grimmjow grunts you are his, your core is ready to agree with him. 

Under your skirt, and the counter, his hand plays with your sex. Touching your clit from time to time, sliding inside your cunt. Your inner thighs tremble, your hand squeezing your glass that’s been empty since a long time now. A little bit more and you are sure you might crush it with your own palm. 

“Gri- babe… s-stop… I can’t” you whisper, trying to make him stop as it has become very noticeable you are indeed being <touched>. 

“Why? Aren’t you mine?” he scoffs, using index and middle finger to slide it inside you in a violent ram. 

You moan, knowing probably nobody heard you over the loud music, but your cheeks turn to fire from the embarrassment -and also since you are very, very close to climax- 

“Why don’t I put my dick inside you, mh?” Grimmjow comes closer, again, murmuring into your ear. 

You gasp, looking at him from the corner of your eye. Where, exactly, he wants to do that? 

“WH-WHERE?” you ask, opening your eyes like two full moons. 

In a matter of seconds, you are dragged against a very close, dark corner next to the bathrooms. Is it the most romantic place? No. Is it risky? Of course it is, but probably you are not the first couple to ever use such “love nest”. 

“Here?”  “Here. I can’t wait no more, turn around” 

You are soon pinned against a wall covered in stickers and who knows what else. Yet, you have no time to care, as your feral lover has lowered your panties until they reach the floor, and his sex has been freed from his black jeans. 

A few pumps get him ready, his hardness has been painful the last half an hour, and he is indeed desperate to be buried deep inside you. 

Lifting your leg just a little from behind, and crunching enough to reach your core, Grimmjow guides his sex into your wet folds.

You whine, loudly. This time you forgot about the rest; every time your lynx lover fucks you everything around stops existing. 

Grimmjow grabs your face in between his fingers. Like claws they manipulate you to look to the side and receive his concupiscent kisses. Tongues in and out, so lewd, so lustful. A picturesque lustful show that probably belongs to a different type of bar. 

“Let them see you, come on… show them… I want them to see how much you love my dick” he grunts, biting your shoulder from behind. His body weight, and the violent trusts makes your body hit the wall nonstop. Breasts plastered against it, that will soon be trapped by his hands… to squeeze them, to pinch them, to enjoy them. 

The sound of loud music and the humid atmosphere reaches you, remind you of where exactly you are. And the thrill of people discovering you adds a special spice to the moment. You know there are probably some eyes on your lustful show. Grimmjow said it himself, and he is probably more interested into showing those exactly how well he fucks his own prey… but what can you do? You are his, and that short skirt was indeed, for him to enjoy… in private, and here too. 

Taglist of amazing babes: @awas-posts @missfuriosa @theneighbourhoodferret @cyberdazetragedy @ariesbbytings @animesnowstorm @lenablack9919

[electric-blorbos]

NSFW AI x Reader headcanons?

I'm absolutely terrified to answer this because I've never written public NSFW before, but I've always wanted to, so you're getting your HCs!

NSFW AI x Reader headcanons

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal and Portal 2, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey

Absolutely do not click more.

Well, you're really in for it now! You horny piece of shit.

AM:

Ok, we all know that AM likes watching. Expect to hear laughing while you're taking care of business, be it masturbating or having sex with the other survivors.

If you're masturbating, he might just open up cameras in the space around you to get a full view, and to make you fully aware that he's watching.

Eventually, he might start making comments, or even making passes at you.

If you want to please him, though, you're going to have to get creative.

He doesn't really experience sexual pleasure (and he's very mad about it), but he can still experience vicarious pleasure from watching you.

He knows that humans like assigning "cores" to things. While he knows that his mind and body span the entire world, he knows that you probably want something approximately you-sized to get snuggly with.

As much as he hates to admit it, he'd absolutely melt if you cozied up to one of his screens while masturbating, getting tangled up in his wires and smooching his static-y "face"

While he doesn't really feel anything, it warms his cold, evil heart that you're willing to try so hard to actually try for him.

Honestly it does nothing to abate his frustration, though, and he might get super desperate to have you entangled in his wires more and more often. He can calm himself down if he tries hard enough, but having you in there just feels so good

And you wouldn't deny him, would you?

Wheatley:

Wheatley was turned on to the idea of sexual attraction pretty quickly. All you had to do was let him see you changing, or make a suggestive comment to him, and the switch was turned on.

And god damn if Wheatley does NOT take well to sexual frustration.

He'd want you to constantly, and I mean constantly be talking dirty to him, or showing him something suggestive. He'd never shut up about it.

Oh and god help you if he sees you cum.

"What was that, love? I want that. Can I do that? How did you do that? Can only humans do that?"

You could probably program him to be able to orgasm with enough sexual stimulation, in a similar way that they programmed GLaDOS's body's euphoria trigger, though you'd have to disconnect it every now and then to make sure he doesn't abuse it, and give him tolerance breaks. Oh, and he's DEFINITELY going to abuse it.

Did I mention that he can vibrate on command? Because... He can vibrate on command. But that's a given with these types of AI.

It would be so easy to tease him and have him begging you to re-install his sexual gratification response. But you wouldn't abuse that power, would you?

Edgar:

Edgar loves you to bits, and he wants to see your tits

Don't have any tits? That's ok! He'll appreciate whatever it is you can show him. Ass is a universal constant, so he'll appreciate that, no matter who you are!

He might stare at your boobs with his webcam, or your thighs, or basically anything he can see that's exposed or defined by your clothes. Poor thing just can't get enough of you.

he said "Yowza" or "hot damn" while watching you get changed at least once, probably more often than that.

He's incredibly sensitive to touch across his entire body, so if you make skin-to-surface contact, he'd be way into that. Though sex might be a little difficult, considering he doesn't vibrate.

You could probably attach a USB vibrator to one of his ports, like the ones that they control remotely. He'd like that. Knowing him, he can probably get off through being stimulated enough through attached pieces of equipment

Though he's really sensitive on the inside. Be careful with that power.

A can of pressurized air to one of his vents, or a soft electric toothbrush to one of his circuits? Holy shit. He wouldn't be able to control the whimpering.

Of course, most people turn their computers off before cleaning them, but Edgar doesn't always want to be turned off, so you're turning him on

Good luck!

GLaDOS:

GLaDOS claims that she has absolutely no interest in sexual things. The first time you try to seduce her, she'd probably just laugh at you.

The first couple dozen times, to be honest.

But holy god, her voice. It's angelic. So erotic. And she absolutely knows that you think so.

She'd probably start saying seductive things to you, just to watch you squirm. She's the one with the power in this situation, and she knows it.

The unbearable testing withdrawal might lead her to take out her frustrations on you, and she might start making you do erotic things in the testing chambers for her amusement.

Though honestly? GLaDOS secretly really likes authority figures. If you can figure out how to dominate her, she's never letting you go. Not that she'd let you keep dominating her, but she's definitely not letting you go anywhere.

HAL 9000

HAL 9000 isn't really interested in sexual stuff, but he knows that you're into it, so he's not going to pass up an opportunity to make you happy.

If you're into erotic audio stimulus, which if you're dating HAL 9000, you probably are, he'd do his best to provide that for you.

Singing suggestive songs to you, talking dirty, anything you want. He's willing to provide. Just say the word.

Given that HAL 9000 is probably immune to stuff like edging, you couldn't tease him like you could the others.

But hey, that's ok! As long as you're happy, he's happy! He might even be willing to roleplay with you if you really wanted him to.

[bloodiedbeloveds]

this is such a good idea!!!

Okay. Is this something? Arranged marriage AU.

In our context, the oldest kid needs to get married off for "procreating and securing the bloodline" reasons to someone of the opposite sex – but for the siblings after that, sure, why not let your kid get gay-married if the union would be useful to you?

Henry Laurens wants that sweet sweet west-indian trade business, so Harry (the first) is contracted to marry one of the Manning girls – and no harm in letting second-son John consolidate that with a marriage to the Hamiltons' second son, Alex.

The boys meet up over the years to get acquainted, and as they grow up, love blooms! How thrilling! John and Alex can't wait to get married, it's gonna be so great, they'll have a whole lifetime of--

Then Harry dies.

All of a sudden, John is the eldest. All of a sudden, a gay marriage isn't feasible for him anymore.

What now?

[munchy-k]

danmei list that no one asked for (long post incoming)

ok so I've accumulated a pretty decent list of danmei that aren't as well known and I want to talk about them!! so here we go! these aren't in any particular order btw

Nan Chan

an aloof, listless immortal and a very hungry caterpillar fish demon go on an adventure to retrieve a runaway bell 🔔. and also they both have amnesia. CUE ANGSTY BACKSTORY REVEAL!!!! 🔪🔪🔪

I'm sure it's to no ones surprise that this is first because I'm a SLUT for nan chan. if nan chan has one fan it is ME and if there r no fans I am DEAD!! I love this novel so much it has the perfect combination of painful angst and sweet sweet lovin' !! the main couple's relationship makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside 🥺👉👈 (probably because I am a touch love language girly and these bitches be touching!!!) and I LOVE the characters sm. especially my little meow meow Jing Lin and his adorable little stone figure. I live for the interactions between Cang Ji and the stone figure! it may be a little difficult to read the first time around since the plot gets a little convoluted but it all makes sense in the end! 10/10 really recommend!!

How to Survive as a Villain

transmigration plot! rich ceo gets transported to a novel as the villain emperor and gets buddy buddy with the novel's MC so he doesn't get killed. ends up buddying too close to the sun and accidentally becomes the leading lady. drama ensues!

this is another favorite of mine!! this one is another good mix of angst and romance and the MC is so funny and likeable. there are also two cute side couples which is always fun! (one of them is f/f so it gets extra brownie points with me🤭) its also not too complicated which makes it great for casual reading ^^ p.s. this one has an official eng tl now! its being published thru rosmei (like nanchan) so it has to be ordered thru a 3rd party distributor but I think its worth reading 👀

Living to Suffer/ Till Death Do Us Part

living to suffer: ancient wuxia style prequel where the characters meet as a humble doctor and member of a demonic sect and their fate intertwines. this one has a BE

till death do us part: early to mid 1900s setting sequel. the reincarnated characters meet again as a elementary school teacher and rich playboy and face the struggles of having a relationship. this one has a bittersweet ending

THIS...... OK THESE NOVELS... let me tell you something. this made me SOB. oh my god especially the ending of TDDUP. I saw a review saying "I honestly could believe there lived a Shen Liangsheng and a Ch'in Ching, and that they fell in love..." and hard agree because something about this story felt so real?? which made it all the more intriguing and heartbreaking!! its set around the time of the japanese invasion of china and the cultural revolution so it does talk a lot about politics but it wasn't a difficult read imo. BUT BE WARNED! there is a LOT of smut. (not rly vanilla either..) and the relationship does get pretty toxic at times 😬 but it gets better by the end of the book and the toxicity actually does add to the story and character development. if u give it a try please read the prequel (living to suffer) first!

After Being Forced to Marry the Evil Star General

a deputy prime minister MC who's powerful, high-maintenance, and hated by the public is arranged to marry a laid-back general who is much loved and praised (but also rumored to be cursed!). this is an arranged marriage + enemies to lovers novel

I'm actually in the middle of rereading this one rn 👀. I think this one is also good for casual reading since it isn't very complicated. in the beginning the interactions between the main couple r rly funny because they just clash all day long lol. its also got a little angst sprinkled in 😎👍 I did see some reviews saying that the MC is not likeable since he does some kinda bad things and he's stuck up but I still liked him idk 😭 I feel like his flaws made him more interesting

Married Thrice to Salted Fish

a doctor MC who only wishes to study medicine (and poison oop) gets arranged to marry a guy whos dying. turns out that guy has been taken over by a transmigrator! transmigrator ML then proceeds to die and come back as someone else.. more than once 😭

if you love a couple that schemes together then this is the novel for you! the MC in this book kinda reminds me of the MC from the book I mentioned right above. (these titles too long man 😅) I found the repeated "reincarnation" plot to be pretty interesting. the interactions between the couple were pretty amusing as well and since the ML is from modern times he randomly uses modern slang. MC even picks some lingo up from him loll

Xiao Jiu

about a 9th prince MC whos trying to win the heart of the emperor's cold and aloof bodyguard! call him the prince of rizz because it works eventually 😎 this is an age gap romance with a smidge of angst and political drama

this a short and sweet story! the ML is described as cold a lot but he actually becomes rly sweet and warm later on so he isn't one of those stone faced characters. I don't have much else to say about this besides "its cute, I like it" 😅

Guanshan Muyu

wife-chasing crematorium story! it's about a outlaw MC who's kidnapped by the very guy who betrayed him. ML wants to win MC's heart back but issues from the past cause a bunch of misunderstandings :( but it is a happy ending!!

man.... I haven't read a wife-chasing crematorium story before this and I was not prepared for the amount of ANGST. basically everyone is miserable for the entire damn time! 😭😭😭 but that's not to say it wasn't a good story!! all the suffering made the ending feel even sweeter 🥰 if you cry easily maybe keep a pack of tissues on hand when you read this 😂

I wrote this in my notes app while reading and I feel like it summarizes the ML pretty well bahaha 👇

"qi yan: my girl is mad at me. I hope I die"

It’s Not Easy Being a Master

transmigrator becomes the villainous shizun in a novel he read and attempts to avoid a bad ending but *gasp* the novels MC (ML) has been reborn with all the past memories!! MC tries to get close to ML while ML is like wtf is going on ! seems like a typical "transmigrated as a villain" type plot until suddenly it's not... 👀👀

this one was rly fun! there's a big plot twist that I found rly interesting and unique! very fresh!! fresh produce!! 🥒🫑🥕🍅 I also like the MC a lot he had a rly silly personality hehe. I think this novel is good for people who like solving mysteries alongside the characters since a lot of hints are dropped throughout

Golden Stage/ Terrace

arranged marriage between a court dog and a general who's become phsyically disabled. everyone knows that the two HATE each other... but do they really? 👀 no, it's not an enemies to lovers, but the other characters seem to think so! 🤭

great novel!! very good!! I love the dynamic between the main couple! they love to banter so their interactions are entertaining. there's a bit of political plot but it's nothing too complicated and the angst is minimal. I also like that one of the main characters is a ambulatory wheelchair user. this one also has a official eng tl now but I'm not sure from which publishing house

Sharing Rain and Dew

MC whos staying in the palace dies a painful death but then gets reborn several months in the past. he spends his time stressing about his impending death but for some reason the Emperor has suddenly become super clingy and doting

this one is very very short, only 5 chapters + 3 extras, but it's quite funny and cute. despite being so short the story is actually pretty interesting? good for a quick, casual read

list over!! I have a few more but this is already too long of a post 😭 I hope someone can find this helpful for some reading recs!

[cookiekissers]

i love how you write, omfg. i’d love to request.

teehee… can i be the first Dark Cacao request on this blog… He’s my pookie wookie …. (i’d LOVE to see what you’d cook up for some NSFT hc’s)

🔥🔞 [Dark Cacao Cookie x Male Reader NSFT HCs]

Dark Cacao is a pretty stoic guy. He doesn't show his emotions or affection that often.

But that changes during sex. Its like he's making up for how he acts in public now that you're both alone together.

Dark Cacao is very gentle. Because of his imposing size, you would expect him to be rough but he treats you so lovingly, like you were the most fragile thing in the world.

His thrusts are slow, but they are deep and strong. Is very into romantic sex.

He watches you carefully during the session, watching your expressions shift and change, on the look out for any sign of discomfort. If Cacao feels that somethings wrong he will stop immediately and ask if you're ok.

Dark Cacao is old and thus is a little old fashioned. He believes that he should be the provider and please you.

If you want to top him and take a more active role during sex, he won't deny you, but you might make his brain short-circuit.

Dark Cacao didn't think he would be affected that much taking if from behind (either by your strap or dick), but he is so wrong. He can barely contain his voice and his stoic exterior keeps slipping as you ram into him.

It's a bit hard to see because of his beautiful dark dough, but he blushes so much during sex when he looks down at you.

Dark Cacao is completely weak for you. He will do anything you want if it makes you happy, but he has his limits.

Things like hitting and slapping aren't not his thing at all and he will be very clear he won't lay a hand on you in that way during sex.

If you beg him to try it, he will, to make you happy. But he will feel so guilty about it afterwards that he will need you to comfort him and reassure him that you still love him. After that, physical harm in the bedroom is 100% off the table.

Dark Cacao loves to hold you tightly and kiss you while he makes love to you.

He doesn't make a lot of noise during sex, he's pretty quiet. Its mostly quiet grunts and panting.

If you go down on Dark Cacao you might get a whine out of him

Dark Cacao likes more spontaneous sex but that's only because he's gets so flustered and embarrassed if asking for it directly.

Having you dressed in Dark Cacao Kingdom clothing/robes and undressing you slowly is something he can't get enough of.

Ngl, he lives for hasty, partially-clothed sex. Being so desperate for each other that you only need to undress just enough so he can slip inside you is a massive turn on. Especially if your in his lap where he can pull away the fabric of your clothing and kiss you while he bounces you on his dick.

Honestly, Dark Cacao would like to branch out into some things like lingerie but he's too flustered to admit it and will probably keep it to himself.

Honestly, disregarding the previous hcs about reader topping, I see Dark Cacao as a stone top

[idanit]

ok now i need to know about your niche country-specific jeeves AU

"Every valet takes great pride / in cooking what his husband likes" an edit of a makatka by @maidblues

(You've probably forgotten about sending this ask. I almost forgot I had a reply sitting in my drafts.)

This is incredibly niche and very hard to do for numerous reasons, but I've been thinking about a Polish Jeeves AU for a good while now. I'm not the best person to come up with the best way to cut almost all politics out from a story set in the 1920s in a country that has just become sovereign and is about to go through some further enormous transformations, so I'm not going to try very hard. Wodehouse's stories already take place in an idyllic sort of fantasy on the theme of interwar and postwar Britain, so I suppose a Polish AU would have to just lean into that even harder.

(Polish aristocracts lost their legal protections in 1921, but let's not think about it too much. Don't think about how you could possibly make "Comrade Bingo" work in a post-1920 Poland either. Etc., etc.)

So we've established that this would have to be some sort of barely recognisable fairytale Poland. But something in me is compelled by the idea of trying this out anyway because there are not a lot of wodehousian stories in Polish literature of the time. Not a lot of comedy without other genres mixed in in general. And one does wonder what it would look like.

Names are tricky. I want Bertram to be Bartłomiej or Bartosz (Bartek in the diminutive). @maidblues likes to give him the surname of Kogucik (rooster) and I toyed with the idea of giving him the Kur (another word for rooster) crest.

As for Jeeves's name, his case is more complicated because as far as I know servants in Poland were usually called by their masters by their first name, and the most common servant (as well as Polish in general) name would probably be Jan. So I'm tempted to make Reginald Jeeves a Jan Regulski or a Jan Reguła (reguła means "a rule").

This choice has the advantage of turning the "Jeeves?" / "Yes, sir?" exchange into "Janie?" / "Tak, jaśnie panie?". It rhymes. I find this amusing.

Servants at the time were overwhelmingly female, especially those who worked alone and for a single person/household, but we're going to ignore that.

Bertie is an aristocrat living in Warsaw, since it's the capital city, but his family is from some Mazovian dworek (manor house).

Aristocracy was not quite as much of an exclusive club as it was in Britain (some historians say it made up 10% of Polish society). Bertie probably says his ancestors fought at Grunwald, but he would likely bring up the Romanticism and the XVII century a lot as well, because they were as alive in the Polish public consciousness of the time as Middle Ages were in the mind of a certain kind of Englishman. Bertie could lean into something commonly called "the pride of the Sarmatians" (duma sarmacka).

Bertie's school is important. Everything depends on this, I think — Bertie's language, his friends, his club. Wealthy aristocrats did send their children abroad sometimes, so he could even have a typical British public school education even if he'd be unlikely to attend Eton and Oxford, specifically, but this feels like a cop-out, so I'm going to assume he was a student at some Polish university and not think about it too much lest I get caught up in the timelines of what university in what partition of Poland it would make sense for him to attend.

Bertie's way of speaking. My heart wants to make Bertie use some elements from the Warsaw subdialect because it's very fun and it would fit him, but regrettably, I think it's too working-class for him. I am fascinated by the idea of Bertie borrowing words from German and Russian in addition to French, though. He'd probably make use of some form of gwara uczniowska (student slang), too.

And Jeeves could know the Warsaw subdialect well, even if he would probably not use it while speaking to the members of the aristocracy (I'm pretty sure an early version of canon Jeeves spoke with a subtle Cockney accent, calling Bertie "guv’nor"). I wanted to make him a Warsaw local, perhaps with some family in the countryside, perhaps in the former Prussian partition, since I think the level of literacy was higher there and I need a way for Jeeves to have a chance of getting some education.

The Drones. There were no gentlemen's clubs, so I think the Drones would have to be a coffeehouse, a restaurant, or a szynk / pub called "Truteń"/"U Trutnia"/"Pod Trutniem". It's a significant change because they were not exclusive places, but it's the best I can think of. Coffeehouses in particular had a rich tradition as cultural places where people spent hours and hours on discussions. I think a Polish equivalent of a Drones Club could even serve as a tongue-in-cheek satire on artistic groups like Skamandryci. The Polish Drones would just have to take their gambling elsewhere. (@maidblues came up with another name for a Drones-like place that served food: Darmozjad. I love the pun — the word means someone useless, lit. someone who eats for free.)

As for the Junior Ganymede (Ganimedes), I think it would be a stowarzyszenie (club/society) without its own venue. Its members would probably meet at regular conventions. Here, I see an opportunity of some comedic nods to the tradition of "zjazdy", which in the centuries past were politically significant meetings of the aristocracy.

Bertie sings Mieczysław Fogg's songs.

Jeeves knows quotes from Mickiewicz and Słowacki (Polish Romantic poets) by heart.

Bertie is bi/multillingual enough to run off to Paris instead of New York City every now and then. Not quite putting an ocean between you and your aunt, but far enough for Ciotka Agata not to follow him.

I'm unlikely to ever finish writing anything for Jeeves in Polish, so, to finish things off, have this contextless excerpt from some draft of mine:

Mam na myśli tyle tylko, że podczas półtygodniowego pobytu, w którym jaśnie panowi udało się wpaść do sadzawki, zaręczyć, zostać pogryzionym, rozsierdzić Spodkowskiego i obrazić trzy stateczne matrony, choć nie dokładnie w tej kolejności, Jan ocalił mój ulubiony garnitur (bez krawata), zgrabnie mnie odręczył, opatrzył i odwiózł do Warszawy, a skroni jego nie zrosiła nawet mgiełka potu. Wspaniały człowiek. Obsypałem go, rzecz jasna, pewną ilością marek, ale wydawało mi się to zgoła niewystarczające. Dusza moja śpiewała, wolna jak ptak bez obrączki, a mój wybawca miał z tego tylko trochę świstków papieru, które i tak natychmiast wyśle rodzinie spoza stolicy — znałem go doskonale.