#like i feel a legit knot in my stomach

[sweetpaintedladie]

i can’t explain why but this makes me ill

[n0vazsq]

The stars were ours | Pau Cubarsi x Reader

pairing . . . pau cubarsi x gf!reader

summary . . . When Pau starts worrying that your relationship is falling apart, you assure him that you two will be alright. And as you lay under the stars, he realises that trusting you is enough

request . . . no!

word count . . . 988

warnings . . . angst to fluff!

faceclaim . . . N/A

alexavia yaps . . . legit had this in my drafts for AGES and finally got to writing it!!

. . . It was late, much later than Pau had thought. The world around him felt quiet, almost too quiet. The stars hung above like scattered diamonds, flickering against the dark canvas of the sky. Pau’s eyes traced the constellations, but his thoughts were far from the stars. He couldn’t focus. Not on the universe, not on the constellations. Not even on the cool night air that ruffled his hair.

He felt… lost.

Beside him, you were watching the night sky with an intensity that almost seemed to pull the stars closer. There was something so still about you, so at ease in a way Pau couldn’t replicate. It made his chest tighten.

It had been weeks since your last real conversation. Weeks since things had shifted between you, since everything had gotten complicated. The distance between you hadn’t been physical, not really, but it might as well have been. Pau couldn’t shake the feeling that you were slipping away, that the connection you once had was fading like the stars at dawn. And he didn’t know how to fix it.

"Why are we here?" Pau’s voice was hoarse, the words more fragile than he intended. His eyes stayed still on the stars, too afraid to look at you. "What’s the point of all this? The stars, the space, the endless sky… Why bother?"

You shifted slightly, your soft breath barely audible against the stillness of the night. Pau glanced at you quickly before looking away, focusing once more on the faraway constellations.

"You don't really mean that," you said, your voice quiet but firm, like you knew something Pau didn’t. You let the words hang in the air, waiting.

Pau swallowed. His throat felt tight, heavy. "I don’t know anymore. Maybe I’m just… tired. Tired of pretending everything’s fine. Tired of pretending I’m not…" He couldn’t bring himself to say it, but you didn’t need him to. You already knew.

"Tired of what?: Your voice softened, almost gentle, but Pau could hear the worry underneath. You reached out then, your fingers brushing against his hand in the dark. "What’s going on, Pau?"

For a moment, your touch felt like a relief, a familiar face in a crowd full of people. But it only made the pressure in his chest worse. He had to say it. He had to.

"I don’t know how to fix this," he finally admitted, his voice barely a whisper. "I don’t know how to fix…." His voice broke, barely being able to finish the sentence. "Us."

You sat up slightly, your profile illuminated by the soft moonlight. Pau wanted to pull away, but he couldn’t. The words were already out, hanging between you like an unspoken confession. The silence that followed was thick, suffocating, and for a moment, Pau was convinced you’d pull away too.

Instead, you shifted closer, sitting next to him now, close enough that Pau could feel the warmth of your presence, close enough to make his heart ache. His whole body tensed as you placed lay your head on his shoulder.

"You don’t have to fix anything," you said, your voice low but steady, like you’d been waiting to say this for a long time. "Not everything’s broken."

Pau felt the knot in his stomach loosen just a little. "But we’re not the same. Not anymore. I’ve been… I’ve been so messed up lately. I don’t know how to talk to you. I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing and you’ll-"

"-I’m not going anywhere." Your voice was firm, quiet, and so full of sincerity that Pau couldn’t help but look at you, finally meeting your gaze.

For a moment, the world around him blurred. The stars faded, the night quieted, and it was just you and him, under the same sky. And in that moment, everything felt… right again. Not perfect, no. But right.

"You really mean that?" Pau’s voice cracked, and it felt ridiculous, but he couldn’t stop it.

"I mean it," you said softly, your thumb brushing over the back of Pau’s hand. "I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to be perfect, Pau. You never did."

The pressure in Pau’s chest slowly melted away as he let your words sink in. Maybe he didn’t need to fix everything after all. Maybe all he needed was to let go, to trust that you could be okay, together.

And then, like the first light of dawn breaking over the horizon, a small smile tugged at the corner of Pau’s lips. "You’re always so sure of everything," he said, a little teasing, his voice lighter. "Do you ever doubt anything?"

You laughed softly, a sound so familiar that it made Pau’s heart flutter. "I doubt plenty of things," you said, the assuring tone in your voice making Pau laugh despite the feeling in his chest. "But not us. I never doubt us."

The sky above you seemed brighter now, as if the stars had finally aligned, just for you two. Pau leaned back again, and you followed. You both lay side by side in the quiet night, the distant stars above you, the air cool and full of possibility.

You held his hand, your thumb brushing over his knuckles. He felt something….Like when you finally sit down after a long day of walking. It felt reassuring, filling him with comfort.

And for the first time in what felt like forever, Pau felt a warmth spreading through him, not from the stars or the sky, but from you. The person beside him, the one who’d stayed when everything had felt like it was falling apart.

Because maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t about fixing everything. Maybe it was just about being there. And in that moment, surrounded by the infinite sky, Pau felt a glimmer of hope, maybe not everything was lost after all.

Maybe the stars weren’t the only thing that could burn brightly, even in the dark.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Outbreak Pt 2 (LU in Healthcare)

Legend slurped on his energy drink, anxious to get to work. He and the entire night shift had been called in early to attend some training for this new virus that was potentially a problem. Administration mandated everyone attend to see how to don and doff personal protective equipment.

It was mildly exasperating, as it had cut into his sleep and he'd run out of time to really grab an actual breakfast. But whatever. He paid attention as best he could, leg starting to bounce with nervous energy. When his phone buzzed, he glance down, distracted.

The name Zelda was on the screen, and he immediately tuned out everything around him.

They hardly messaged each other, really. Birthday wishes, the occasional "are you alive" text, that was about it. It was hard to maintain much of a good relationship sometimes, given... well, everything.

Hey. So. I have this patient. Heart attack, CABG, pathway, blah. But he's got family who knows you?? I just want to make sure??? Like he seemed legit but still. Says he goes by Wild.

He... the heart attack patient from yesterday...

Shit.

Legend texted quickly, gaze flicking between his phone and the person wearing a gown in the front. Yeah, I know a few people named Link, so we go by nicknames.

His sister's reply was practically instantaneous. Still not over the fact that you call yourself Legend LOL you're so lame

Legend huffed, feeling his cheeks flush. THERE'S A REASON OK

Uh huh. Sure. So this Wild dude is legit then? I didn't let some random stranger into my pt's room yest right?

Sighing, Legend replied, Nah he's legit. Good guy. Wish he could've told me his dad was here.

Because it had to be his father, right? The more Legend thought about it, the more it made sense. The man looked just like Wild, except for being older and more worn out. He'd been reaching out to Wild, calling out his name, in a frenzy. Wild had been acting strange. The long drawn out gaze with Time. All of it.

"Legend."

Glancing up, the travel nurse saw Warriors standing over him, looking grim. "Uh... Wars, you good?"

"Hope you paid attention to the training," Warriors said. "That patient who got diagnosed with Arfy at the urgent care is here. You're taking him."

Legend blinked. "He's--he's here? Did he get worse?"

"Yeah. They're intubating him now."

Great. As if his stomach wasn't in knots already. Warriors gave Legend the room and said that would be his only patient to try and decrease cross contamination with other rooms. Legend ran the training demonstration in his head, now mildly panicked that he'd ignored some of it in lieu of talking to his sister, but it was fairly straightforward. Everyone was already masking as a precaution, he just needed to start wearing gowns and goggles and face shields too.

Time to get to work.

XXX

Wild paced in his bedroom, simultaneously annoyed and thankful that he had tonight off. Everyone had texted him by this point asking if he was alright, and while he appreciated the sentiment, he really had no way of conveying that he desperately wanted and needed to keep his past separate from his present.

He hardly knew his life before Castle Town. But what he did remember was enough. He couldn't--he couldn't go back to that life. He'd lost everyone, and it had been his fault. As his memories had come back, he'd doubled down on avoiding his past, including his family.

How could he possibly reconcile the old him with who he was now, after all? He just wanted to close that chapter of his life. He just wanted closure, period. He was terrified of seeing his family again. What would they think of him? How could he have left them like he had? How could he ever return to them?

He... he wanted to check on his father. But he knew by now the rest of his family was likely at the hospital, and he did not need to see them. Guilt twisted his gut as he stared out the window, watching the cows graze in the pasture.

Sighing, he went downstairs, catching sight of Malon watching the news. He distracted himself with asking her what was up, and she said, "There's ten more cases of Arfy in town."

Wild blinked. Ten? Hadn't there just been one yesterday?

That... didn't bode well.

Before Wild could comment, Wind skipped in, having mentioned he was dropping by for dinner. "Yo, you guys should see the picture Legend just sent me of this guy's chest x-ray!"

Wild and Malon both crowded around Wind's phone to look at th eimage, and Wild asked, "So what am I looking at?"

Malon hissed, staring at the image. "Those lungs look awful."

"Right?" Wind glanced up at the OR nurse. "I'm surprised they have any compliance."

Wild stared at the pair dully. "I take it it's bad."

"His lungs are shot," Wind emphasized. "Like... they look like they're rocks. Legend said they can barely get the guy to oxygenate."

Wild felt a new twinge of anxiety in his chest. This new illness had been tearing through some cities in the Gerudo Desert, and now that it was in Castle Town...

As if he didn't have enough to worry about. He sighed. Hopefully his father would get better quickly and his family would leave before anything truly terrible happened.

Hopefully nothing terrible would happen at all.

[fully-functioning-pigeon]

I need people to give me good news, legit any good news. Reblog with anything good that happened to you today, yesterday, in the last week, last month I don’t care.

Please i have been in tears over this election, my stomach is in knots, I’m currently out of country and many hours ahead, I feel like I can’t go to sleep or rest without knowing what’s going on even tho it’s horrible to be on my phone and hyper aware right now

[the-cult-of-riley]

Sleeping With Ghosts (Act Two: Chapter Three)

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Female OC

[[Masterlist]]

A/N:

Man, I’ve been feeling like shit lmao

My b12 anaemia has been kicking my ass and I’m not even joking. I went to see Greg Puciato on the 10th and I legit spent the whole first two starting bands throwing up and almost passing out, with zero alcohol consumed. I thought I was gonna die but refused to go home ‘cause no way was I missing Greg loooool I pushed through and it was the best show I’ve ever been to, even if I felt on the verge of death. I also picked up some germs ‘cause now I feel like I’ve got the flu and I haven't even got over whatever I was dealing with before.

I don’t know why my brain has been really struggling with this chapter. I have so much of Act Two mapped out but it's mostly the action and the fun and the angsty bits and the making up and all that. The little in-between parts to get there haven't been written and my brain really wasn't playing ball. Sorry for any typos, It's currently 2 am here and I've literally just finished writing and quickly editing it lol

In the name of our Lord and Saviour, Simon Riley, I beseech you to strike the writer curse from my weary body and allow me to continue feeding my hungry children with Ghostly content.

The last wisps of sleep were still clinging onto Charlotte’s consciousness when she felt her bed dip and the covers rustle and move. Her eyes blinked open slowly, her brain trying to comprehend the shit show that had become her life. For a brief moment, she thought she was back home, dying under the weight of grief and raising a child alone. But then she realised this wasn't her bed, these weren’t her bedroom walls and her husband wasn't dead. She still felt that grief though, it wouldn't shake even if he was breathing and now she had a heaping scoop of betrayal to go along with it. She rolled over to the source of what woke her up to see Beth beside her, giving her a cheeky smile.

“Good morning, mummy,” she murmured tiredly, scooting closer and wrapping herself around Charlotte like a snake. It made all of her tension seep from her body, even if only for a moment. She loved these moments in the morning with her daughter. They made her feel like she was glued back together briefly. 

“Good morning, pickle,” she smiled softly and Beth made a disgruntled noise like she always did at the nickname. They didn't need words as they cuddled together as they both woke up and Charlotte tried to will some backbone to leave the room at some point. 

They’d need breakfast and she hoped Simon wouldn't be in the mess hall. She wasn't sure how Beth was supposed to bond with him when she wanted him nowhere near her. She knew she needed to suck it up for Beth’s sake and Simon was lucky she’d do anything for their daughter. 

“Did you have a good sleep?” Charlotte asked, her fingers stroking through Beth’s unruly curls. The girl shot her a bright smile with a nod.

“I did. I’m excited to go and see daddy at breakfast! Can we go yet?” she asked eagerly and Charlotte tried to stop her stomach from tying itself in knots. 

“Let's get dressed then,” she flashed her best fake smile and Beth giggled, rushing to get out of bed as Lottie sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“Can we match, mummy?” Beth asked hopefully and Charlotte nodded.

“You pick what you want us to wear,” she instructed, watching with a fond smile as Beth rummaged around in the bag, pulling some things out and leaving them strewn about the place. 

She picked out two matching hoodies that had Placebo across the chest. Hers was real merch but they didn't make kids stuff so she’d wound up using fabric paint to replicate it on a kids hoodie. She picked out black leggings to match too. They both got dressed in their matching attire, boots to finish off the look and Charlotte really didn't feel like making much of an effort with her hair with how she was feeling so she threw it up into a high pony. Naturally, Beth gave her a look and was only placated once she also had a high ponytail that looked nothing like Charlotte with her blonde curls.

If she thought she felt nauseous on the way to the mess hall, it was nothing compared to how she felt when they strolled in, hand in hand. It felt like everyone’s eyes turned to the two civilians on base and she knew she wasn't imagining how they all murmured to each other. Maybe word travelled fast. 

One pair of eyes in particular felt like they burned her right down to her bones and she glanced over to the table housing the 141, seeing those deep brown hues staring right at her. She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her and she looked away quickly, ushering Beth to the food. She grabbed two trays, feeling guilty that Beth was babbling about something but she was struggling to pay attention. She scooped some scrambled eggs onto the plates and some bacon. She was just scooping some beans too when someone approached. 

“Well then, who’s this wee pretty lass?” 

Charlotte turned to see Johnny standing there, a smile that she could only compare to sunshine on a rainy day as he peered down at Beth. she clung to Mr Snuffles tightly, blinking up at the man.

“I’m Beth,” she answered sweetly and Charlotte watched as Johnny crouched to be closer to her height.

“What a beautiful name,” he grinned and Beth beamed at him.

“What's your name?” she asked curiously.

“I’m Johnny but people call me Soap,” he answered and Beth giggled.

“That's a silly name!” 

Johnny snorted with a nod.

“Aye, it is, but it's mine and I love it. We need to get you a call sign, aye?” he asked and Beth toddled closer to him, eyes wide as she nodded.

“Yes please, Mr Soap,” she clapped her hands excitedly and Charlotte didn't miss how she was drawing attention. 

“Alright., let’s think…” Johnny rubbed his chin, making a show of thinking and it made Beth giggle again.

“Do ye have a nickname already? We could use that,” he suggested and Beth pulled a face.

“Mummy calls me pickle sometimes,” she muttered gloomily and Johnny chuckled.

“Nah, we don't want a name like pickle, do we?” he asked her, pulling the same face she had and it made her laugh.

“What kinda things do ye like?” he asked her thoughtfully and Beth’s face lit up.

“I like Halloween and spooky things. Ghosts, skellingtons and pumpkins. I like monsters,” she made fake claws with her hands and growled at him. 

Being the good sport he was, Johnny yelped dramatically, falling on his ass and Charlotte couldn't help the grin on her face as she watched the pair, Beth laughing brightly at him. She was quickly warming up to the man. 

“I have the perfect name for ye, and it kinda goes with yer daddy’s” he announced, looking pleased with himself and Beth was practically bouncing on the spot.

“What is it?” she asked eagerly.

“Spook,” he declared with a flourish and Beth’s eyes were almost sparkling. 

“I love it!” she beamed, dancing about a little, the bunny in her hands getting thrown about in the process.

“Awesome!” Johnny grinned, holding his hand up to her and she slapped him a high-five harder than he expected if his wince was anything to go by. 

He stood back up, a slight groan leaving his lips as he back popped. 

“Now that's settled, let's eat, aye?” he smiled, turning to look at Charlotte as he gave her a warm grin that had her smiling back at him.

“Alright?” he asked her and she nodded, feeling somewhat better by his soothing presence. He seemed happy with her answer, clapping her gently on the back before he swiped Beth’s tray so Charlotte didn't have to carry two. 

Beth was happily chatting to him as the three of them made their way over to the table. Price was at the head of the table to the right, the bench along the back housing a man she didn't know with a cap on his head and a calming smile aimed at her. She smiled back nervously and looked away, her hands tightening over the tray. There was an empty spot beside the man and Johnny plonked into it, not before putting Beth's tray on the other side of the bench which was empty. On the head of the table to the left was Simon, whose eyes were glued to her. Beth’s tray was placed beside him and that left the spot between Beth and Price open for her. 

She noticed two of the men who were there at her outburst the day before weren't here but she was glad. It was bad enough being around just this small group, especially because she’d spilled her heart out in front of them. Worst of all was Simon though and the only respite she got from his burning gaze was when Beth climbed up on the bench, having to sit on her knees to reach her tray as she beamed a blinding grin at him and his eyes now went to his daughter.

“Good morning, daddy,” she smiled up at him. Charlotte wished to tear her eyes away and yet she couldn't, seeing his dark eyes peering out of his mask at Beth, all soft and gooey. It was the same look she had herself when her daughter was being sweet. 

“Mornin’, lovie,” he murmured quietly and Charlotte swallowed thickly. 

“So! Introductions since this spooky bastard won’t be makin’ ‘em,” Johnny started with a smirk and Beth gasped, slapping one hand over her mouth, the other pointing accusingly at the Scot, making him go silent.

“You swore!” she exclaimed and the whole table went quiet as they watched her. Charlotte bit her lip to stifle a laugh as Johnny blinked at her for a moment before he let out a laugh.

“Aye, I did, I’m sorry, lass,” he murmured with a grin and Beth raised a sassy brow at him.

“You owe me a pound now,” she held her hand out expectantly and Charlotte watched the Scot look to the girl's hand before back at her face.

“I owe ye?” he asked slowly and Beth nodded.

“We have a swear jar and every time mummy swears she puts a pound in and then I get to spend it,” she flashed her teeth in a toothy grin and Johnny’s lips quirked upwards as he glanced to Charlotte and then back to Beth.

“Well, I don’t have a quid on me right now, but I’ll owe ye one, aye?” he asked and Beth sighed with a nod.

“So, ye already know the Captain and this creepy fu- fool…” he trailed off after curtly cutting his words so he didn't owe even more money to the mini Riley. He slapped Simon on the shoulder and Lottie watched carefully as his dark eyes slid to Johnny, mild amusement and annoyance shining behind them. But when those eyes slid back to her, she felt like a lightning bolt struck her right in the chest and she looked away quickly, picking at her eggs. 

“This one is Kyle Garrick, also known as Gaz,” Johnny finished as he gestured to the only man on the table she hadn’t met yet.

“Nice to meet you Mr Gaz,” Beth smiled sweetly at him. The man smiled, a soft look on his face.

“Nice to meet you too,” he replied politely, his eyes turning to Charlotte then.

“You too, Mrs Riley,” he smiled and her hand tightened around her fork.

“Charlotte’s fine,” she muttered tensely and she could practically feel Simon’s eyes burning into her.

“And all you fuc- idiots know Charlotte and Beth, now also known as Spook,” Johnny gestured to the little girl with a flourish and she grinned, making a spooky noise while she wiggled her fingers.

“You gave her a callsign?” Simon asked and Charlotte couldn't decipher his tone. It was so detached, different to what she was used to with him.

“Course I did. She loves spooky shi- stuff, so it felt right. You like it, aye, Spook?” he asked her and she giggled, nodding her head.

“I love it,” she answered happily before she turned her deep brown eyes to her father.

“Do you like it, daddy?” she asked, her eyes hopeful and wide as she stared at him. He just watched her for a moment and Lottie was starting to think he wouldn't answer her.

“I do. Suits you,” he answered, reaching out slowly and stroking her head softly. Her smile widened as she leaned into his touch and Charlotte felt a burning in her chest. 

“We need a call sign for Charlotte then,” Gaz commented, a thoughtful look on his face.

“Grim,” Simon answered before anyone could suggest a thing. Had he shot her in the chest? It felt like it. So many memories flooded her system, memories of a happier time, of a time where he hadn’t betrayed her trust, hadn’t lied to her, hadn’t hurt her. 

“Aye, that's good. Ghost, Spook and Grim, a proper family,” Johnny snorted gleefully

“What can I say? I like a good theme,” Simon answered dryly but she heard the amusement and it sparked an annoyance in her. 

Five years he’d been gone, five years he’d fucked off, only to live in their old base. Was he here every day eating with his friends and cracking jokes like she wasn't at home raising a child alone and drowning in grief? Did he really care that little that he hadn't even checked in with her once? Didn't have anyone look into where she might be, what she was doing? Would he have even bothered to come back if he knew Beth existed? Would he have come back for her? Did he like it here without her? 

She pushed her tray away from her, a vile feeling creeping into her chest like an infection that was spewing puss. She didn't want to be here.

“Mummy, your breakfast,” Beth murmured, looking up at her carefully.

“I’m not hungry anymore, sweetie,” she replied but her voice felt far away, floating out of reach. 

It felt like her eyes weren't seeing, she couldn't get out of her own head. She suddenly felt warm leather on her cheek and with a start, she realised Simon had reached over Beth to cup her cheek, turning her to look at him with pure worry in his gaze. She jerked her head from his grasp like he’d burned her and his arm dropped back down. She didn't miss the pure anguish in his eyes. She needed to get out of here, she couldn't break down in front of everyone, not in front of Beth.

“How about I give ye that tour we were talkin’ about?” Johnny asked her with a grin but there was something on his face that touched her, soothed her spiralling. He’d never offered her a tour, he was giving her an out and in that moment, she knew Johnny meant his promise from the night before. 

“Sounds good,” she forced a smile and Beth grasped her arm.

“Mummy… could I stay here with daddy?” she asked with a smile and Lottie hated the pain that lanced through her chest. 

It shouldn't hurt her that she wanted to spend time with her dad, she’d only just met him and they had a lot of lost time to make up for. Yet she couldn't help the burning jealousy that hit her out of nowhere. He hadn't been here, it wasn't fair that he got to covet her and she got left in the dust.

“That's fine,” she answered, trying her best to keep herself in check until she left. She stood up quickly, not looking at anyone and not really bothering to think about manners to the other men at the table as she rushed out of the mess hall and outside. 

Johnny was right behind her, hand on her back as he led her to a bench. She crumbled onto it, resting her face in her hands. She didn't want to cry, not again. She was sick of it. She wished she could just pretend it didn't bother her what he did. That she could just be happy he was here, happy he was alive. She couldn't shake the feeling of abandonment though. That the one person who swore he’d never do that to her had done it without care. It hurt so much that she felt she might die.

“It's alright, love,” Johnny murmured sympathetically as he rubbed her back. 

“I just… he’s been here this whole time while I’ve been suffering ,” she lamented, feeling like her sanity was slipping through her fingers. 

“I know… I know, lass. I wish I had the words to make this all better. Ye didn’t deserve to go through all this,” he sighed sadly, his hand still rubbing her back. Silence settled over them for a moment as she fought the deep urge to cry, sitting there staring out at nothing as she wondered how it all came to this.

“Ye wanna blow some shit up?” Johnny asked out of the blue. Her eyes darted to him, wondering if he actually meant what he said and he gave her a roguish grin that told her he did indeed mean it.

“Okay,” she nodded with a sniffle. Johnny’s grin widened, a gleeful laugh leaving his lips as he jumped from the bench, grabbing her hand and yanking her with him. He all but dragged her through the base to get to the demolitions section where training was held. 

Ghost sat stiffly, watching as Charlotte rushed from the mess hall, his best mate in tow like a little puppy at her feet. He couldn’t get that haunted look she had out of his fucking head. She looked so lost, adrift at sea with no anchor to tether her to the world. He’d been that anchor once and now he was the cause of her spiralling. He’d wanted to be her anchor again and his touch had brought her back, but it wasn't the reaction he was hoping for. 

Having her pull away from him like that was more painful than the gunshot wound to his collarbone last year. The fleeting contact he’d had with her filled his dead heart up with so much warmth before it was snuffed out like it was never there to begin with and he cursed himself for wearing his fucking gloves. He just wanted to be okay with her again, wanted her to accept his touch, wanted to fall into her arms and have her make everything okay again. 

It wasn't okay though, it hadn't been for a while and this was his doing. He wasn't sure he’d ever be able to fix it and having Johnny be the one glued to her side was like salt in his wounds. He knew it was a good thing, Johnny would try and get her back on his side like the good best mate he was, yet it still stung. Hurt like a bitch when he saw her embracing Johnny while she refused his touch so viciously. How easy she’d fallen into Johnny’s arms, how desperate for comfort she was. It hurt. It really fucking hurt . 

He was brought out of his depressing musings by a tug on his hoodie and he glanced down, remembering the little girl sat next to him. Her brown eyes were blinking up at him carefully, tilting her head like she was sizing him up. She was so beautiful.

“Daddy?” she asked him, her voice soft and sweet, wrapping him up like a warm blanket.

“Yeah, lovie?” he asked quietly. It was like no one else existed in that moment but her. She nibbled her lower lip as she shifted where she sat for a moment, looking deep in thought. 

“Can we do something?” She gave him a hopeful smile and despite looking so much like him, he saw Lottie in that smile and he wasn't sure if that eased the ache in his heart or made it worse. 

“What do you wanna do?” he asked, unsure what four year olds liked to do and even if that was possible on a military base. Her eyes seemed to light up as she flashed him a bright grin.

“I know!” she shuffled off her seat, moving to stand as she grabbed his hand and tugged on it impatiently. He stood, seeming to tower over her and she refused to let go of his hand as she started pulling him along. He couldn't hear Gaz’s witty remark but he heard Price chuckle at them both as he left. 

He allowed her to lead him until they got outside and she kept pulling him until they moved over to the patch of grass that ran along the gates near the car park. She let go of his hand and he watched curiously as she plonked herself down without a care. She looked up at him expectantly and his lips tugged up slightly as he moved to sit on the grass with her. 

“Daisies are really pretty,” she murmured happily as she started picking them. He’d never really noticed them before but now she’d drawn attention to them, he noticed they were scattered all over the grass. 

He had no idea what to say, couldn't remember how to act around kids, it had been far too long. Part of his brain tried to remember how he’d interacted with Joseph but that was far too painful and he shoved it away quickly. He wanted to bond with her but he really had no clue how, so he just watched her. 

She picked a bunch of daisies, her tongue poking out of her mouth a little in pure concentration as she started fiddling with them. He couldn't really tell what she was doing with them but after a few moments, she grinned triumphantly and put a flower crown on her head.

“What do you think, daddy?” she asked him sweetly and he melted into a puddle looking at her. The sun shone down on her and he wondered for a moment if he was dead and she was in fact an angel. 

“Perfect, love,” he murmured, his throat feeling tight and uncomfortable and he had to clear his throat to ease the sensation. 

Her smile widened even more and his chest felt like it was expanding. She picked a bunch more and he was helpless, could do little else but watch this little part of himself as she busied herself with the flowers. He still hadn’t fully wrapped his head around the fact he was a father now. 

He’d been so ready for it back then, when he’d left for the last time. He’d been so excited to get back to Lottie and start a family. He’d been excited to watch the bump grow, to watch Charlotte glow as she carried their baby, looked forward to the scans and all the milestones. Looked forward to holding a tiny bundle of his own, much like he had when Joseph was born. 

He didn't have any of that though and it was all his own fault. He’d missed out on the most precious moments of Beth’s life because he was a coward. He’d never be able to get those moments back, he couldn't undo what he’d done. Knowing all the things he’d missed made him wish he had died back in Mexico. It would be a relief from feeling what he was currently feeling. 

He flinched with a blink when something touched him, rousing him from his thoughts. Beth was standing in front of him now, a cheeky grin on her face as she put a crown of his own on his head over his balaclava. He felt a rush of warmth flowing through him and he really didn't give a toss who saw him wearing it. She’d made him something and he wished he could keep it forever, wished it wouldn’t wilt away. 

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he smiled softly even though she couldn't see it. It was like she could sense it or maybe she was perceptive for her age and picked up on the scrunching of his eyes because she beamed at him, such a radiant smile he wanted to burn to a crisp from it. 

“You're welcome,” she smiled, kissing his cheek over his mask before she moved away. 

He was overwhelmed, too many thoughts and feelings running rampant in him and he wasn’t sure how to deal with it. An explosion across base felt like it shook the floor and Beth jumped up, a worried look on her face that had a protective streak surge through him. He steadied her with his hands and she settled closer to him, plopping into his lap as if she’d done it a million times before.

“What was that?” she asked with big eyes, looking towards where the noise came from.

“It's just the demo practice. Its where they learn about bombs and things,” he explained, hoping to ease her worries. It seemed to work as she relaxed into him more. 

“So, it's not bad?” she asked him, blinking her pretty eyes at him.

“It's not bad. You don't have to worry, lovie, I won’t let anythin’ bad happen to you,” he meant those words wholeheartedly. He’d burn the entire world down with everyone on it to keep her safe. 

Another explosion happened and this time Beth seemed fine, pressed into his chest as she sat on his knee. While he wasn't worried as the noises were coming from the demo area, he was sure there weren't any classes or training today. It wasn't uncommon for Johnny to go and play around a bit, the only one to get away with it as the demolitions expert and being one of the 141. Was Lottie with him? Was it them making all this racket?

His eyes drifted back to Beth then, happily sitting on him with their matching flower crowns. He wanted to know more about her, all the things he’d already know if he’d have been around. 

“You wanna play a game?” he asked her and she grinned up at him.

“What kinda game?” she asked him excitedly. 

“We ask each other questions to find out more about each other,” he suggested and there was a mischievous twinkle in her brown eyes. 

“I already know everything about you. Mummy told me,” she beamed, sounding more than proud of herself. He felt like someone just gutted him, sliced him right open and let his insides splat onto the floor. He pushed it away though and tried to ignore it. Of course Lottie told her everything. 

“How about you tell me stuff about you, then?” he asked her hopefully and she clapped her hands excitedly. 

“My full name is Elizabeth Anne Riley,” she started. No, he hadn't been gutted before, he was now though. The pain that ricocheted through him tore through skin, muscle and bone. He bit down on his lower lip hard behind his mask, drawing blood. The sensation grounded him though as he nodded, trying not to look too upset. 

“That's a lovely name,” he muttered, voice strained and choked. Her smile turned softer then, blinking up at him and she leaned into him more.

“It's a special name. Mummy told me I was named after special people,” she murmured. His chest felt so tight that he felt like he couldn't breathe. Without thinking about it, a hand came to stroke her hair and he found the feeling soothing to him, easing that ravaging ache in his chest. 

“I’m four but I’m five in two weeks,” she held her hand out, wiggling her fingers at him to demonstrate her point and he felt his lips tug up a little at her excitement. 

“My favourite colour is…” she trailed off, tilting her head with that thoughtful look on her face again. “Black. I like black ‘cause it's all spooky,” she flashed him a toothy grin and he melted once again. 

“Mummy’s sketty is my favourite meal but I also love when she does eggy bread on my birthday,” she beamed up at him and he swallowed thickly, still stroking her hair as he nodded.

“They’re my favourites too,” he replied hoarsely and she gave him a cheeky look.

“I know,” she giggled and he made him smile. 

Without warning, she hopped off his lap, his hand suddenly cold now it was no longer stroking her hair but she flopped down next to him, laying down and making her crown fall a little onto the grass.

“Lay down,” little one was bossy and he knew he had no choice so he obeyed. He held onto his flower crown as he shuffled around before laying on his back beside her. He moved his hand back to his side even though he was sure the crown had slipped off into the grass anyway,

“Do you like clouds, daddy?” she asked him softly. He turned his head to look at her and she was laying there, staring at the sky. 

“Never really thought about it,” he replied honestly. She turned to look at him then, scrunching her face up with the most judgmental look he’d ever been given.

“Look at the clouds. Sometimes they look like things,” she murmured.

“I’ve seen that sometimes. Once I saw a cloud that looked like a co-... clock,” he muttered, shaking his head as he changed his words. Wouldn’t bode well for him as his first day being a dad coming out with that. 

He still remembered that day though, in the sweltering heat of Al Mazra in the middle of a mission. Wasn’t every day you see a cloud shaped like a fucking dick in the sky and he’d have thought he was hallucinating due to the heat if it wasn’t for Johnny seeing it too. The Scot had said it was the best thing he’d ever witnessed in his entire life. When Soap had got Price to look, the shape had changed and the old man was sure they were off their rockers. 

“Look at that one, it kinda looks like a bird doing this,” she pointed at a big cloud before she started flapping her arms around weirdly and he shook his head fondly before he looked back up at the clouds. He just watched them go by for a moment, enjoying the peace he felt. Something he wasn't sure he’d felt in a long while.

“That one kinda looks like a bum,” he murmured, pointing to a cloud.

“Daddy!” Beth burst out laughing, smacking his arm and he found himself laughing. Actually genuinely laughing and not the half arsed chuckled Johnny would draw out of him with a bad joke. It was an odd feeling to laugh like that, he was sure he hadn't done it since before he’d left for that mission, the one that ruined his life. It made him feel lighter.

“You can’t tell me it doesn't,” he huffed playfully and she laughed again.

“... It does, but you're still silly,” she snorted, making his whole body light up. 

She was so precious and he wasn't sure just how to handle it. He was sad things with Charlotte were so bad and he didn't want to think about how the hell he was supposed to fix that mess, but being able to spend time with Beth and bond with her meant the world to him. He could focus on Beth for now, one thing at a time. He’d build his family back up from the ground, brick by brick. He’d done it before, back with his brother and his mum and he could do it again. It’d be painful and probably take a while but he wouldn't waver, wouldn't give up. Not when he had the whole world in the palm of his hand. He couldn't give that up for anything.

[synthetic-venus]

The Poppy War - The Dragon Republic spoilers

Just finished The Dragon Republic a few days ago, and now diving into The Burning God! That knot in my stomach, guys...especially when it comes to Rin and her complicated relationship with Nezha.

I swore I wouldn't ship them when I started The Poppy War; their relationship was a bit too violent for my liking during their time at Sinegard. But somehow, I've become low-key obsessed with them by the end of book 1 and even more during book 2.

But now, after that insane ending in The Dragon Republic and the direction the story is taking in the last book, I have a deep feeling that my shipper's heart is going to be shattered into pieces by the end of my reading.

I'm only 80 pages into The Burning God, and I'm legit terrified to read on because I don't want Rin or Nezha to meet a tragic end. At the same time, I want to enjoy the art and the fandom, but I'm trying to avoid Tumblr as much as possible to avoid any spoilers, and it's getting harder and harder. HELP

[whumpsecretsantaevent]

SS In July gift: @hiding-in-the-shadows

This is an exchange event so there will be a blanket trigger warning for all entries, so read at your own risk! Potential trigger warnings may include nsfw themes as well as gore and possible squicks.

KASSSSS!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ HAPPY NOT CHRISTMAS, LOVELYl! 

You're such a legend and you should know that I was so so happy when I saw I was assigned to you, legit squealed 😭❤️😌 amazing taste in tropes btw - OM NOM NOM 🍽️

I apologise so so much for the delay! my laptop decided to do the die on me and I've been stealing other people's laptops to write where I can! ❤️

I hope you like 🥺 I tried to hit your tropes, and I hope it's okay 😖 I made a new whumpee for it! Nehehe - more pain for more pretty men!

Lots of love, your secret Santa! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a regular Friday night for Otis, and thank fuck it was. The weekend was starting to feel like it would never arrive and the past hellish week had definitely aged him ten years. Wisps of grey hairs sneak through his dark brown curls, frown lines and wrinkles starting to creep in. The joys of stress, right?

He lay curled up in bed, eyes fluttering shut and breaths drifting softly in and out of his lips. A half-finished glass of red-wine sat on the nightstand, next to a well-worn copy of 1984, his go-to staple book when he was so run off his feet with work that he hadn’t had a chance to snag a new romance novel from his favourite used bookstore a few blocks down from his house. Everything was silent. The only glow was the flickering street lamp across the street, seeping through the slits in the curtains. 

Otis drifted away with the high of the alcohol, giggling and hiccuping softly to himself as he did so. His shoulders loosened with every soft chuckle, melting into his mattress as the warmth of the blankets envelop him. The soft breaths soon morph to gentle snores and in minutes, the lull of sleep pulls him under.

…

The piercing sound of shattering glass snaps Otis wide awake. He springs upright in bed, his heart pounds at his ribcage, racing a mile a minute. He sits as still as a statue for a moment, frozen solid in fear, cold sweat drenching through to the bedsheets. His eyes dart around, frantically searching the darkness. And then he hears it again. Another crash. Louder this time. The alcohol seems to dissolve in his bloodstream, the adrenaline sobers him in the blink of an eye.

Someone’s breaking in.

Gruff, mumbling voices whisper downstairs, then comes the creaks of the floorboards beneath cautious, tiptoed footsteps. Otis can feel his stomach twist and turn, pinching into a knot as bile rises to his throat. From head to toe, his body trembles so much he’s vibrating.

There’s nothing worth stealing. Nothing. No rolls of money stashed anywhere and even the damn TV is ancient technology. He can’t hope and pray that they’ll take something shiny that catches their eye and let it out the back door. They’re going to search. Turn the house upside down, scour from top to bottom. And they will find him. Sooner or later.

Otis’ ears prick at the groan of the stairs, the same step halfway up that always creaks when he usually stumbles down half-awake for midnight snacks. His body jumps into action before his mind can comprehend that he’s even moving. Otis races towards his wardrobe and throws himself to the floor, ducking his head underneath the dangling clothes on hangers. He swiftly drags the doors shut as quickly and quietly as he can possibly manage - submerging himself in pitch-black darkness. Otis folds to his knees and peeks through the slats of the wardrobe doors.

The doorknob to the bedroom rattles and twists, and then it swings open. Two tall, muscular men, dressed in all black come storming through. Searching the room, ripping off the covers from the bed and rummaging through all of Otis’ belongings. They sift through his drawers, pulling photo frames off the wall and smashing them on the ground.

A choked sob tries to claw its way through Otis’ throat. He slams his clammy palm over his quivering lips to trap his own cries. Squeezing his eyes shut and pressing a tear from underneath. Snot trickles down from his nose, his chest heaving. 

He’s panicking, he knows. Freaking the fuck out. How the hell are you supposed to stay calm in these situations?! Help is out of the question. His phone is still charging on the bed stand, he didn’t think of swiping it when he dove into the wardrobe. He didn’t think! He just did! He should have leapt out the window and crawled his way to safety, broken bones and all. Now he’ll be on the front page of the newspaper.... ‘Male found dead in burglary gone wrong’.

“Don’t be shy, little buddy. Come out and play!” One of the intruders calls out with a dark chuckle, suddenly squatting to check underneath the bed like he was so certain Otis would be huddled underneath there. Otis’ eyes blow wide, shuffling further back into the wardrobe. The dark figures circle his bedroom, and one of them heads straight towards him. Striding towards Otis’ hiding spot.

A dizziness spins in his head and the stuffy air around him feels suddenly suffocating. Otis traps his breath in his lungs. 

He’s going to die- oh god help him, they’re going to find him-

Otis screams his lungs out as the wardrobe doors swing open with a bang against the wall, a beam of light from a torch blinds his tear-filled eyes. The intruder smiles down at him, a terrifying look of amusement sparks in his eyes as he stares down at Otis cowering on the floor.

"Boo! Comfy, little one?" the intruder asks, his voice dripping with sickly-sweet sarcasm.

Otis doesn't say a thing. He can't. He's paralyzed with fear. His mouth blubbers open like a fish out of water. He just gawks up at the intruder, his eyes wide and bloodshot with terror.

The intruder laughs, a cruel, mocking sound. "Don't worry your pretty little head," he says. "We’re not going to hurt you. Not yet, anyway. Why rush the fun? We’ll have all the time in the world."

He reaches down and snatches Otis by the arm, hauling him to his feet. Otis cries out in pain as the intruder's grip digs deep, bruising into his flesh. He kicks and flails with every ounce of energy he’s got. They overpower him easily, without so much as busting a sweat. Every hit and swipe must feel like a tickle of a feather to the burly man. They throw Otis carelessly onto the bed, shoving him down onto the mattress and snatching his flailing arms to pin his wrists above his head. The man’s entire weight crushes Otis as he climbs on top.

“NO- FUCK- LEMME GO!” Otis roars, his voice breaking into a high-pitched squeal, and squirming underneath the intruder’s hold. Hot tears spill down his cheeks. “PLEASE! TAKE WHAT YOU WANT AND GO-”

The intruder shoves his hand over Otis’ mouth to muffle his cries, “Shut him up-”  he growls the order to his accomplice. The other intruder quickly fishes around in his duffle bag until he holds up a leather muzzle, dangling it from his hands. Otis lets out a blood curdling shriek beneath the man’s sweaty palm, bucking his hips on the bed and writhing desperately. He clamps his jaw shut, grinding his teeth and shaking his head from side to side - refusing to let them strap that vile thing in his mouth. Fingers pinch his nostrils shut, another hand pries and rips at his jaw to pull his mouth open. 

The accomplice swarms in to wrap his hands around Otis’ throat, squeezing until he rasps and wheezes on stolen air, the pinky-hue of colour fades from his face until his skin turns porcelain white. A metal bit forces its way through his parted lips and presses down on his tongue, the leather muzzle swallows the lower half of his face. Any desperate sound he tries to make gets lost in the abyss - he can only huff furiously through his nose.

“You’re exhilarating when you cry, aren’t ya, lil buddy?” the intruder marvels, he wipes at the wet droplets collecting on Otis’ eye bags and licks the salty tears from his finger. “Would you look at those puppy dog eyes?”

This can’t be happening. This can’t be real. Panic fogs Otis’ spinning mind and clouds every rational thought. It’s - It’s a nightmare, it has to be!… the wine must have dragged him into a heavy, disturbed slumber. Or the stress! Maybe it’s taking more of a toll on him than he thought. 

“Nah-ah. Focus on me, sweetheart,” The intruder croons, his fingertip dabs at the tears slipping down Otis’ puffy, rosy cheeks. Otis’s eyes stay glued shut, squeezed tight until his bloodshot eyeballs feel like they might pop out of his sockets and burst. Muggy breath wafts hot against the leather muzzle, welded to his face with sweat. Thick trickles of drool slip from his quivering lips, his teeth scraping on the bit. 

He pants and heaves for air beneath the muzzle. The heat is unbearable, and the sweat drips down his face, stinging his eyes. Blood rushes to his head and his heart pounds in his chest.

Otis’ eyes shoot open. But he wishes he stayed hidden behind the safety of darkness behind his eyelids, where he doesn’t have to face reality. Where he can’t see the stranger pinning him down with a wolfish grin. 

“Good boy,” the intruder praises, cool as ice, stroking his hand through Otis’ sweat drenched hair, “I knew you’d be an angel for us. Picked a good-un, didn’t I?”

It’s sickening. Every touch revolts and terrifies Otis’, making his stomach do somersaults. A petrified whimper makes it through the gag, and he winces. He’s never heard a person whimper before…never heard himself whimper before. The sound is so foreign to him, so out of place, that it took him a moment to realise it was actually coming from him. He was whimpering like a child, like a wounded animal.Like a dog. He can't stop it. The pain is too much, the fear too overwhelming. 

The intruder climbs off Otis’ body, and forcefully rolls him over and face down, shoving him onto his belly. His wrists are seized in an iron grip, and wrangled from stretched high above his head to criss-crossed over the small of his back. Otis sobs into the bedding his face is shoved into. The stranger splays his warm hand between Otis’ shoulder blades, and slides painfully slow down his spine. Every nerve-ending lights up, his skin crawls and twitches.

“You’re going to do nicely. Sweet little thing like you. You’re going to be the perfect pet,” the stranger purrs.

Pet.

Otis’ vision dips to black. He just felt his soul leave his body. He felt himself floating upwards, and out, away from his body. He looked down and saw himself lying pinned on the bed, lifeless. Hopeless. 

A leather cuff slips over each wrist, strapped tight before being linked together with a chain in between. Otis tugs at the restraints with all the strength he can muster, his muscles bulge and his veins pop as he strains against them. Sweat beads on his forehead and his breath comes in ragged gasps. 

The accomplice jingles something beside the bed to grab Otis’ attention. Otis’ twists his head, writhing on the bed to look…and then a guttural scream rockets up his throat, shaking his head so violently that his sight mists. 

A collar. With a silver, engraved dog tag dangling from it.

“If you’ll do the honours…” the intruder nods to his accomplice, giving him the greenlight. He swiftly fastens the dog collar around Otis’ throat, buckling the band until Otis chokes and cries out behind the bit, before he finally loosens it, allowing him to suck in air again. His cheeks burn cherry red beneath the muzzle with shame. His humanity stripped away from him with only a few instruments, he’s entirely at these bastards mercy.

“Guess what your dog tag says, boy! Go on!”

Otis lets out a pitiful whine, shaking his head trying to free himself of the muzzle. His hair flops around like a dog drying their fur.

“Oh right. I forgot. Guess I’ll have to tell you!” The intruder elates, grabbing Otis by the collar and spinning it around his neck to grab hold of the tag.

“Pup. If found, return to Master Becker.”

They must be able to clock the look of pure terror on Otis’ face, his eyes streaming with tears, nostrils flaring.

“Oh, that’s me, by the way. I’m your new owner, little one.”

This is insane. No-one can own him. He is his own person, with thoughts and feelings and dreams. They have no right to take that away from him. To beat him down to nothing more than a tamed, defenceless animal. 

He won’t give up easily. He will not back down, and he will never surrender, no matter what the odds. He will fight back at every twist and turn, until the very end.

“Let’s wrap it up here. Grab the legs. I’ll take his arms,” Becker barks. Otis is lifted into the air, the accomplice grabbing his kicking feet and Becker hooking his arms under Otis' armpits. 

Otis struggles and flails, but he was no match for the two men. They carry him effortlessly, as if he were a small child. Otis's head lolls back, and he closes his eyes, feeling helpless and defeated. He knows that there is nothing he could do to stop them. They are going to take him away, and there is nothing he could do about it. They carry him out the room, making their way downstairs and back down that creaking step.

It might be the last time he’ll ever hear it. He already misses it-

They drop Otis’ to his feet when they reach the final step, but he crashes to the floor in a sobbing heap. Every muscle gives out on him, he slumps like dead weight. Becker wrenches his fist in Otis’ hair and drags him back up and standing, and forces him to stumble towards the door.

When the door opens, there’s a black van parked outside. Right under the streetlamp. It’s running, its engine’s quiet hums cut through the silence of the night like a knife. Otis’ breath sprints away from him, he screams again, his legs go to give out - but Becker catches him in his arms.

He massages Otis’ Adam's apple, bobbing beneath the collar, with his calloused palm, “Breathe, boy. Do as you're told.”

Otis quickly shakes his head 'no'. Not that he won't, but he can't. Every breath is ten times harder than the last, his chest heaves and his lungs burn. Spots dance in his vision.

Becker pulls a strip of cloth from his pocket, and ties it over Otis’ swollen and tear-filled eyes, blindfolding him, “Calm down. You needn’t ever worry about anything else. Just listen to my voice, heed my word as gospel. Only me. Only my voice. And nothing else ever again. Until that ticker in your chest rusts and stalls to its final seconds.”

Otis keens, shredding his throat with his garbled cry. He collapses into Becker's arms once more, as he rubs meant-to-be soothing circles and pats Otis' back. Shushing him as he wails.

“Hush, little puppy. Stop your whining. Let’s get you to your new home,” Becker coos, tugging at Otis’ collar.

[iveriee]

Hello can I request yandere alphabet for Heather Duke?

yandere alphabet with heather duke.

— toxicity. manipulation . guilt tripping. death mention. kidnapping / abduction. abuse. second person POV. murder. scheming. lying. unfair dynamics. legit wrote this at 11 pm . NOT proofread. terrible, lazy writing. english is not my first language also probably ooc ?? ??

AFFECTION: how do they show their love and affection? how intense would it get ?

— personally i think it really depends on your behaviour.

— but most of time, she'd be mildly affectionate: kissing your forehead, cupping your cheeks, etc.

— she wouldn't really be the one to initiate physical affection since she's so achingly afraid of your rejection

— so much so that she can't bring herself to touch you

— what if she sees disgust in your eyes? what if you frown and turn away ? what if you despise her ?

— she can't risk that, no.

— don't get me wrong, she really does want to cuddle with you and pepper soft kisses all over your face but she can't.

— she'd usually go with gift-giving as it allows her to do something for you without offense

BLOOD: how messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

— honestly?

— not that much. i mean, yeah, she'd scheme. she'd lie. she'd manipulate. she'd do anything that's legal.

— but murder..?

__ she'd avoid it all costs, much preferring other methods.

— i don't see her as a violent yandere but rather more insecure. she hates, and I mean hates, sharing you with anyone else and it may even lead her to do irrational things.

CRUELTY : how would they treat their darling once abducted ? would they mock them ?

— no, absolutely not. she'd never mock you, she can't bring herself to do that. unless if it's a really dire situation and you're acting out of place.

— she'd be a bit distant though, due to her numbing fear of rejection, and would mostly just give you the required necessities to survive and occasionally hold your hand.

— especially if it's early-abduction

— but, if you asked for something, she'd waste no time in giving it to you.

DARLING: aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will ?

— since she's a heather, she'd definitely ruin your relationship with others. and she would feel a prick of guilt, yes, but surely, it wasn't anything that bad.....and besides, you should talk to her. not them. they're all backstabbers, liars, idiots - they all want nothing but misery for you. but she doesn't. she loves you. and she swears she'll never be like them. she'll love you, cherish, do anything for you - so why can't you just give in?

— see: emotional manipulation

EXPOSED: how much of their heart do they bare to their darling ? how vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

— it really depends on the situation.

— however, i think, she'd be willing to share her feelings with you. although rarely since she's still numbingly scared of your rejection. (also, it gives her another opportunity to guilt trip you)

— she trusts you and believes that you won't reveal her secrets to anyone else.

— if you do, however, she'd be shattered. how could you? how could you, when she finally peeled back her layers and spilled her feelings like ink for you? how?

FIGHT: how would they feel if their darling fought back ?

— heartbroken, probably. it means that you don't trust her. that you don't like her. that you despise her. still, she accepts it if it's early-abduction. after all, you'll surely stop resisting after a while.

— but if you didn't, she would be torn; a knot of dread tightening around her stomach. she'd feel like a monster; a monster with sharp claws, too greedy and selfish and ravenous that she forgot about your comfort.

GAME: is this a game to them ? how much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape ?

— absolutely not. this is not a game to heather. she loves you, for god's sake! this is where you belong, this is where *she* belong aswell. she firmly believes that you're hers and she's yours. forever. and ever. and ever-and-

— she would not enjoy watching you escape, it's a tad bit endearing, yes but she won't find it amusing. she doesn't like to take risks when it comes to you.

HELL: what would be their darling's worst experience with them?

— probably when you fight back and / or attempt to escape.

— her lips would curl into a frown and her eyes would sting with unshed tears. she knew this was coming but now that you've clearly shown that you despise her with all your heart, she can't keep the tears in.

— "why? what is it in me that you hate? i haven't hurt you. nor have i have done anything to make you upset. and i don't want to do either of those things but I have to. I'm sorry. I'm *so* sorry.."

— she'd then begrudgingly kiss your forehead before turning on her heel and leaving you in utter and complete darkness. empty. a void consuming all and perhaps you aswell.

IDEALS: what kind of future do they have in mind for / with their darling ?

— she just wants you to love her, nothing else. she'd be content with just being with you. alone. out of this highschool. out of everyone's reach. just you.

JEALOUSY: do they get jealous ? do they lash out or find a way to cope ?

— she's insecure of herself, so she would get jealous. but not that much. yes, she'd feel a pang of scalding jealousy if you smiled at another person but truthfully, she'd just try to brush it off and gently guide you away from that person.

— she wouldn't lash out, no, but she would try to sabotage your relationship with that person.

— "you don't understand. they are not your friend! they're going to backstab you, they're a liar. i know it's a hard pill to swallow, but you have to. I'm there for you and I'll always be."

KISSES: how would they act around / with their darling?

— with you, her heart would knock against her ribs and a warmth would scorch through her. she's never felt this way with anyone before and therefore would be quite nervous.

— mostly, she'd be normal; listening to you intently, making sure you're alright, etc. but, as i mentioned before, she wouldn't be that affectionate due to her fears.

LOVE LETTERS: how would they go about courting or approaching their darling ?

— she'd do small things; like, smile at you, gently fix your collar, intertwine your fingers with hers, etc. still, it'll all be very subtle.

— also, if you ever want something, expect to somehow find it on your desk the next day.

MASK: are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else ?

— obviously. this bit is self-explanatory.

NAUGHTY: how would they punish their darling ?

— she absolutely and utterly hates punishing you, it makes her feel like a fucking monster again and besides, she can't bare to see you in distress. she'd be dead rather than do so.

— however, if she really had to, then she would isolate you until you behaved. other punishments are just not her taste, especially physical ones.

OPPRESSION: how many rights would they take away from their darling ?

— depends on how much she trusts you.

— if she doesn't, then most of your rights would be taken away. there's no need for all that, right? you already have her!

— if she does however, then you'd live mostly a normal life, except you can't really have proper relationships with other people.

PATIENCE: how patient are they with their darling ?

— actually quite patient. she'd wait for a very long time when it comes to you. she loves you so, *so* much and wants you to love her, not fear her.

QUIT: if their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on ?

— if you die, she would be dead too.

— the grief would overwhelm her, a howling, crashing, wave of emotions. and it would drown her because she wouldn't get out of the water.

— her tears would come down hot and scalding and raw. why? why? why did it have to be you? it could've been someone else, it could've been her instead even, but you were the one who had to go.

— she'd never see you again. she'd never get to hear your voice again. she'd never get to touch you again. you were gone. fuck, you were gone. her love turned into a lifeless corpse.

— what was even the point of living anymore?

— there was no you, so there was nothing for her to strive for.

— however, if it was an escape, she'd begin to panic, sweat clinging her to skin like a parasite. shit. you escaped..

— would desperately try find you and would probably never give up.

REGRET: would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling ? would they ever let their darling go ?

— oh yes. she'd feel guilt seep into her bones when she sees you upset and or desperate to leave.

— she hates that she has to do this.

— she feels like an awful monster with sharp claws once more. you're supposed to be the love of her life and therefore, she should cherish you but now she's taken away your freedom like a certain slushie-loving psychopath.

— also another reason why she's so horrendously scared of touching you, the guilt is like bile rising in her throat; she can't contain it.

STIGMA: what brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc) ?

— being a heather, she's always felt inferior to chandler. always second. always left aside. but when she saw you, she felt as though she could finally be the best. in someone's life at least. at first, this was a mere fantasy but gently it grew into a full blown infatuation and she had to stalk you, examine your habits, sabotage your social life, and lie to you.

— it's your fault for driving her insane.

TEARS: how do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves ?

— as I stated before, she'd feel terrible about herself. she cannot, and i repeat, cannot stand to see you in pain. it makes her chest physically ache.

— you truly deserve better but she's far too selfish and greedy to let you go.

— she'd definitely attempt to comfort you. i.e hug you, listen to your troubles, reassure you, etc. although she knows that her efforts will be futile.

UNIQUE: would they do anything different from the classic yandere ?

— she'd definitely be more merciful and less violent than the classic yandere.

WIT'S END: would they ever hurt their darling ?

— no. fuck no. she won't. not at any cost, not under any circumstances. maybe she'll lightly punish you but she'll never lay a hand on you. (unless you want her to, that is)

XOANON: how much would they revere or worship their darling ? to what length would they go to win their darling over ?

— she'd do anything. and I mean it. anything. no matter how harsh, how crude, how stupid, how unnecessary it is, she will. you're her salvation. her purpose to live. she'd very obviously revere you.

— you hate someone? next day that fucker would be shamed by the entirety of westerburg. you want an specific pen that's offsale ? she'll somehow get it for you. you want her to kiss you- wait what?she's already yours!

YEARN: how long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

— for a very, very, very long time. she's very patient with you, as aforementioned, she wants you to fully trust her and open up so she proclaim the entirety of her love for you.

ZENITH: would they ever break their darling ?

— no. no. no. never, she does NOT want to break you and if she did, she'd never forgive herself.

[blackaquokat]

Nobody asked me, but now that I've finished the main story of both Danganronpa games (Let's Plays, anyway, I'm going to play myself now), here are the thoughts running through my head. This post will be for the first game, I'll make another post for the second one.

(spoilers under the cut: I know the games have been out for a while but still):

1. It took me a LONG time to finish the first game after the first execution. I really liked Leon and not just because his design reminded me of Kirishima from MHA. I felt really bad about the situation he was in, even if, you know, he still killed Sayaka, his death was Brutal. I stopped watching for a few months because it haunted me, until my sister encouraged me to keep going because she wanted to talk to someone about it.

2. On that note, WHY, of all the available classmates, did Sayaka pick Leon as her potential victim? Why, if your goal was to kill, would you pick one of the Ultimate athletes? I feel like she would have had far more success if she'd chosen Hifumi or even Chihiro (sorry bb, I love you). Is there a lore reason behind it?

3. All that said, I am unfortunately interested in Leosaya content for the dramatic irony and tragedy of it, so if anyone has suggestions, let me know, and I also want to see Leon and Ibuki being best buds because she left her music group to pursue her actual creative dreams and Leon hated baseball and wanted to pursue dreams of being a musician and I can see them teaming up to be in a weird-ass band together. Someone direct me to any Leon and Ibuki platonic (or romantic, I'm down) content.

4. I think Leon is gaining blorbo status for me, but not as much as some other characters from the second game, but this is in no coherent order so bear with me, and also keep in mind, I have yet to play through all his possible dialogue in the School Mode version of the game so this is liable to change.

5. I went from waiting eagerly for Byakuya to die to being devastated that he died in the second game to REALLY HAPPY that that apparently wasn't even him (though I do like the Imposter & would like to know more about them). AND THEN to being so excited that he's apparently in a power throuple with Kyoko and Makoto, OT3s FOR THE WIN!!!!

6. Hina and Sakura were really sweet, and I Loooooove how protective Hina was, because yeah, the whole point of the fourth case was she underestimated Sakura's strength, but I also think Sakura deserved to be protected. Just because she's strong doesn't mean she didn't deserve people defending her.

7. On that note, ya'll, when I didn't know what to expect from this game, I legit thought somehow Mondo and Taka were going to die in that sauna. My stomach was in knots over it. Then they just. Were bros. And I was confused but on board with them (platonically AND romantically) and then the second case devastated me and not just because I had to watch Taka be Sad for so long.

5. I feel...so bad about the whole case with Mondo and Chihiro. They were BUDDIES. I know the whole point of the story is that people betray each other but God, imagine the "motive" you were given wasn't so much a motive as it was a fucking PTSD break and it lead to you killing someone that you were not only cool with, but who admired you for qualities you didn't feel worthy of, just FUCK--

6. If you let yourself stop and think of the Everything about these games and the stories, it really fucks you up, let me live in No Despair Land where everyone's friends with each other and there's no murder--

7. Also, the whole thing with Junko. I remember, before I took a break after Leon's execution, vaguely wondering about her last words? But it was a fleeting thought that didn't lead to anything, AND THEN IT CAME BACK AROUND??? So holy shit, that was cool.

8. Gotta say, as frustrating as a lot of repetitive stuff in the game got, I understood why it was needed for the case solving portion. As some of you can tell from my Clone Wars series with sweetiepie08, I LOVE mystery solving stuff when it's done right, and even if some of them are So SO convoluted, it's satisfying to see how they fall together.

9. The VAs in these games are fucking awesome. Even if some of the shit they had to say was ridiculous (which is par the course if that's your job), they did so damn good.

10. YA'LL, I legit thought Makoto was about to be executed, so when Alter Ego suddenly showed up and saved him, I shrieked, and then KYOKO found him, and I know a lot didn't happen after that except a shit ton of exposition, but I was so psyched.

11. *sigh* I don't know what the public opinion is of Toko, but she drove me insane with the debilitating inferiority complex. And then the Genocide Jack/Jill thing happened and I mean, at least she was...slightly more interesting with that, but still, I think Toko was somehow my least favorite out of the whole gang, next to Hifumi. I also would not have predicted that she'd be one of the final survivors.

12. I legit thought Hiro was going to snap at one point after his long period of denial at the beginning. I thought he'd snap and kill someone or get killed, so when he survived until the end, I was very surprised.

13. Tbh, I did not predict the endgame survivors for either Danganronpa. I think literally all I would have gotten right was Makoto, Kyoko, and Hajime. Everyone else was quite a surprise to me.

14. Not to compare another Danganronpa character to MHA, but I was super fond of Taka right off the bat because he's so Tenya coded, those two are definitely cousins or something.

15. Someone add onto my agenda of doing a Danganronpa x MHA fusion somehow, I'll make thoughts on another post.

16. I really loved Kyoko's dynamic with Makoto, idk why, and I just fucking love Kyoko in general, she's so cool. Sherlock Holmes, step aside.

That's about it! I'll make a post about the second game later.

[saintedbythestorm]

I cannot even begin to describe how fucking old it's gotten to have this knot in my stomach all the time about the psychologist. The more time passes the more I realise how much I did not enjoy that call and how much she did that I am not comfortable with.

Legit I get so worried about it i start feeling nauseous.... Everything in me tells me to just fucking run.

Now I know that won't solve shit. So for now I will still take the next call and have to talk to her about it at least. Gonna give her one more chance to be better.

If she ends up being a bitch about it or not improving I'll go to the woman the neighbours recommended instead. Yeah it will cost more, but at least their son had a good experience with her. And we've already been offered help to pay for it so no reason not to!

But i still wish I could get to stop feeling like this now... it fucking sucks!!! 😫

[notreallyuseless]

Hello yes, how am I supposed to not cry while listening to Dean Lewis’ song “How do I say goodbye” ?? Like hello? This is such a good song not one time have i heard this song and not feel a knot in my stomach this is a nightmare I love this song so much. I was legit working the first time i heard it and i stopped WORKING to like, hear the lyrics. This song is dangerous, it’s the best

[aetheternity]

Pegging them (5wirl)

A/N: I have returned to my element! (snorts get it.. cause anemo.. well I think its hilarious!) Anyway I wanted to have this out during kinktober even though I'm pretty sure pegging is not a kink but whatever.

Random things of note: (You do not have to read this I just felt like talking about it outside of the tags.) 1. I wrote Venti's entire part in the span of two days. Realized it was basically a one shot and too long for a headcanon post then scrapped the entire thing and rewrote it in the format you see now. 2. Xiao, Kazuha and Heizou's parts were written on the same day. 3. Kazuha's part was originally going to have reader shoving his face into the pillows but I decided for something more gentle. 4. I didn't have an idea for Heizou ahead of time, the spanking was kind of a shot in the dark.

Disclaimer: No gender specified so if you have a dick you can technically still enjoy this ig?? Minors Dni. This is a modern au. Mentions of being rough in Aether's part light spanking in Heizou's part.

Venti~

~ He had legit never heard of pegging till you brought it up. But Venti being Venti is immediately intrigued by something that has his lover shifting around with unease.

~ "You're so cute! Just how long have you been sitting on this? You look like you could burst at any second!" He teases only working to make your skin feel twenty times hotter than it already was. Stomach concocting knot after knot while he cupped your face only enhancing your anxiety.

~ Ultimately he agrees to it. Why wouldn't he? He loves everything you do to him.

~ He's not concerned at all in fact he's almost overly excited when he comes home to find you in your shared bedroom with all the items laid out ready to play with him.

~ Though the nervousness on your face slowly winds him down.

~ "Windblume, it's ok. I know it's gonna feel good because it's you and me." He coos and pecks quick open mouthed kisses over every part of your forehead. Eventually getting you to untense enough to remove the rest of his clothing.

~ If you weren't relaxed enough before his very eager, very breathy moans and the reddening of his entire face when your fingers brushed his prostate eased you completely. His fingers intertwining with the sheets as he bucked his hips with tiny gasps of, "More." and the pet name he'd uniquely given to you.

~ His cockhead smearing precum along his stomach with every arch of his back. Tears streaming along his cheeks.

~ Windblume.." He nearly choked as you pressed a third lubed finger inside his tight entrance. The tips of your fingers coming up to brush over his hardened nipples. "It's.. so intense.." He shivered, pleas for you to fuck his ass spilling off his lips.

~ You managed to talk him through it as you pressed the lubed tip inside. Massaging his cock with your free hand till he melted into your touch. "How's this, love?" You questioned over his meek whimpers.

~ "Kind of weird.. but.. it doesn't hurt.." He shuddered as you continued to press the entire length inside of him. Pausing to allow the feeling to subside.

~ Your wrist flicked just gentle enough to relax him. Just until his body sank gently back into the mattress. Up until he was whispering words of approval for you to move.

~ He doesn't even begin to hide his eagerness when you press right up against his prostate again. His lips upturned, teeth clamped and eyes so alight with pleasure that it sends a chill down your own spine.

~ "Faster, Harder.. please.."

~ He can't help but reach out to you. Wrap his arms around your waist as he clings onto your heat. His moans being swallowed up as you press as deeply as you can.

~ You find your fingers sinking into his hips, tugging him as close as possible. Pressing kisses to his ears as you whispered small words of praise.

~ It's not long before he's spilling over. So consumed with this new feeling he'd never experienced before and the pleasure of having you fuck his ass.

~ As if he didn't enjoy it enough, the comfort of having you run your hands up his back and heaving chest made things all the better.

~ Don't be shocked when he asks you if the two of you can repeat this endeavor in the near future.

Aether~

~ He doesn't exactly have a track record of saying no to you so when you ask he agrees to it. Even though he is one hundred percent in the dark on what it is.

~ "My ass? You wanna fuck it?" When you nod he simply chuckles. "That sounds hot."

~ "You're too casual when I ask you stuff like this." You playfully pout returning his kisses when he leans into you.

~ "So you want me to panic?" He asks "Ah! I can't believe you want to fuck me silly!" He can't help but explode with laughter.

~ "Just for that I'm not gonna be nice about it."

~ You stayed pretty true to your word. But Aether managed incredibly well. His sphincter loosening fairly quickly to the lube.

~ And God was he so incredibly adorable. His hips trembling and swaying as you fingered his pretty ass. Knees digging so deeply into the mattress. Little whimpers falling off his lips with each new finger added until you were scissoring them so easily and swiftly that he was wetting the bed beneath him with precum.

~ "Such a cocky little shit and now look at you." You tsked with fake disappointment.

~ He can only answer with a gasp while you gently press inside of him. Shifting your hips to press the tip of your cock against his prostate. Delighting in the way his arms nearly buckle beneath him.

~ Doesn't take long for you to set a quick pace. Plowing into him till he yelps and cries with pleasure. Your left hand sliding up his back to his braid to twist it around your wrist tugging him back into your thrusts.

~ He doesn't even pretend to mind. The curling of his spine appearing more prominently, encouraging pleas falling off his lips.

~ The look of his head pulled back in your grasp only worked to turn you on so much harder than you ever had been before. The rickety clattering of the bed further cementing just how hard the two of you were going.

~ By the time he finally cums he's sinking into the bed. Not even trying to hide the shake of his body, breathless as you soothe him. Sliding your palms down his back.

~ You'll probably have to wait till he wakes to ask him if he enjoyed it. But judging by the streaks of cum layering his stomach and the bed you probably don't need to.

Xiao~

~ Does not know what that is the unholy trilogy.

~ And once you explain he says outright that he does not want to even try it.

~ He's not scared, of course not and it's not because he enjoys being a top. (Let's be honest he's probably the power bottom in your relationship). He just hates breaking from routine. The two of you have sex at least once a week every week on the same day. The most breaking of the schedule being if he comes home late or perhaps if one of you is too tired.

~ "Aww Xiao Xiao.. you don't want to try something new? Aren't you worried about things getting stale."

~ "Are you asking because you're unsatisfied with our current arrangement?"

~ Doesn't really matter how you answer that Xiao caves within a couple days. The pressure to make you happy has always come from his own anxiety and never actually from anything you say or do after all.

~ He seems so much grumpier than usual when you just have him strip and sit on your lap.

~ While he sounds a bit agitated by it, the constant check in's do indeed ease his stress over this new experience. That is until you start to play with his ass and he tenses up, knees quivering at your sides.

~ "Want me to stop?" You ask, squeezing the fat of his hips.

~ "I'll be fine." He repeats as he had every time you'd asked.

~ You slip a hand between his thighs slowly coaxing a hand over his cock till he naturally loosens around your finger. The gorgeous curve of his back high lighted perfectly in the dim lighting of your shared bedroom.

~ By the time you make it up to three fingers he's squirming and panting uncontrollably. Cockhead drooling across each of your fingers to be used as lubricant. The way his cheeks had flushed out combined with his disheveled bangs making him so much cuter.

~ "I'm going to put it in now." You tell him "Tell me if you want to stop."

~ His hands lay flat on your stomach, holding out for purchase as the lubricated tip slowly curves inside him followed slowly and carefully by the entirety of your shaft until he found himself seated with a heavy exhale. You question him a bit on his breathing, moving your hands to cup his cheeks but he simply shook his head brushing your concerns away.

~ "I want you to enjoy this too Xiao Xiao."

~ Despite his insistence that he was indeed ok. You still gave him the opportunity to set his own pace. Delighted by his initiative in the matter.

~ All you really have to do is coax his hips along with one hand and flick your wrist along the head of his cock with the other. Showering him with praise until his dick twitches excitedly.

~ He stays fairly quiet unlike the others. Focusing mostly on riding you with the occasional breathy huff or loud grunt. Sweaty bangs clinging to damp spots against his forehead.

~ His hips start to move sloppily as his orgasm approaches and to your surprise he leans in to you. Breathily hiding every noise he can no longer contain on your lips. Nails raking along the sheets as his climax drenches your hand and both your stomachs.

~ He keeps twitching for a couple minutes exhaling and inhaling hard. His weight almost completely on top of yours.

~ "You seemed to enjoy that huh Xiao Xiao." You almost giggle knowing fully well that his cheeks were bright red where he'd stuffed his face into the crook of your neck. You don't push him any further, just brush your hands along his back. Placing kisses over any areas you could reach. Up until his breathing steadies.

~ You'll just have to wait till tomorrow to give him the proper aftercare he deserves.

Kazuha~

~ The first one here to actually know what pegging is.

~ Probably anticipated you asking for something like this because of your obsession with his ass.

~ He's pretty willing to try it too. Even asking you if you'd ever had experience doing something similar in the past.

~ "I'm actually a little surprised you're so willing to do this with me." You say, giving his cheek a small kiss.

~ "All relationships go through periods of experimentation, my love. I wish to continue trying new things with you as much as possible so that we can truly become one soul."

~ "There goes the flowers Beidou's always talking about.." You chuckle

~ You lay beside him on your side as he lays in the same fashion. Drawn into his heat by the soft hitches of his breath and nearly inaudible moans. He fingers himself so swiftly but you love to watch.

~ Love watching his cock shake between his legs as he spreads his own ass. Scissoring those lean fingers in and out. Every thrust sounding so wet, bouncing off the walls of your shared bedroom.

~ "Ok.. I think.. I'm ready." He pants inching close enough for you to press your tip against his prepped hole.

~ You take hold of his cock first. Easing yourself in until he's filled. Stroking delicately as you go.

~ "Can you speed your hand a bit?" He questions immediately gasping as you follow his instructions.

~ You keep your pace slow and steady above all. Just focusing on deep, long thrusts to fill his pretty ass. He rewards your efforts with a part of his lips, sucking in air as it's dragged from his lungs.

~ "Kiss me.." He nearly whimpers and you indulge. You'd never seen Kazuha like this before it almost felt out of character the way he moaned unabashedly into your mouth. Sucking your lip into his kiss.

~ Your fingers sifting through his untied hair. Keeping his head close as you pressed against his prostate. Pure lust flooding your body at the completely sinful sounds that fell from Kazuha's lips.

~ He tried his best to hide it but you'd caught it. You'd caught your boyfriend moaning and whining so submissively if you weren't doing it to him you would've imagined it were someone else.

~ When he gets close he starts to beg you. Beg you to allow him to finish. Beg for your hand to continue stroking his cock. Those scarlet irises trapped behind closed eyelids.

~ "My good Kazu.." You whispered and he couldn't help but cum at those words. Pressing ever closer to your heat with his breathy sighs.

~ He looks so drained as he tries to sit up but you simply insist that aftercare is on you tonight. You nearly overheat when you hear him call you, "An amazing partner." Underneath his breath.

Heizou~

~ He's well aware of pegging and what it is. However his immediate response to you asking to do it to him is surprisingly speechlessness.

~ It's not that he's surprised it's more that he'd never been a bottom before. Not even in previous relationships. He also can't quite wrap his head around someone playing with his ass.

~ Though he trusts that you'll be gentle with him so he talks through it with you a bit further before coming to an agreement.

~ "Man alive.. that's cold.."

~ "Don't tense up or it'll hurt." You respond

~ He presses his ass back for you allowing a single finger to slide in half way before he's huffing and cursing.

~ "Does this hurt?" You question

~ He moans in a way that sounds both pleasured and pained. You pull his hips back into you fisting his pretty cock until he carefully unwinds for one finger.

~ "I'll admit this sensation.. it's quite odd." He chuckles trying to suppress a disgruntled groan.

~ "I know it's a bit uncomfortable Shika but you have to relax a lot more before I can fuck you. Otherwise it'll hurt."

~ "No no I'm aware.. I'm.. trying." His knees shake as you try your hardest to talk him through a second finger, stroking his cock a bit faster while trying to avoid an immediate climax.

~ "Right there.. fu.. yeah that's the spot.."

~ He presses back into your hands, spreading his legs wider to let you pound his prostate till his moans become long and drawn out.

~ "Think you can take the strap now?" You question, holding the lubricant out to properly rub on your cock.

~ "Ah.. just keep it gentle this is my first time after all." He chuckles throwing a wink over his shoulder at you.

~ You simply roll your eyes, "Don't worry, I'll be just as gentle with you as you are with me."

~ "Ah ha.. that's not funny."

~ "It's a little funny."

~ You'd prepared him better than you'd previously assumed. Delighted by how little resistance you face pressing in up to the half way point. Sliding back out before pressing forward a little deeper.

~ He mumbled a series of words softly calling to the gods as you grabbed hold of his ass giving it a quick slap. Then another slightly harder one. Comforted by the soft moans that slipped off his lips.

~ "Darling.. darling that feels good.." He doesn't even try to hide the way he lowers his arms. Pushing his ass up for easier access.

~ You watch strands of hair slip from his hair tie and without thinking about it, you reach forward loosening it to let the mess of red flood his shoulders. The glint in his eye catches you just before the curtain of hair falls over his shoulders.

~ He shakes his head, letting the strands fall evenly over his back. His elbows sinking further into the mattress as he clings for purchase.

~ Your name falls from his tongue from the depths of his throat and he works a free hand between his legs to make your job easier.

~ When he cums it's so abrupt you hadn't even noticed till he randomly gasped. Panting out exclamations and curses in brief, unstructured sentences.

~ You pulled out for him and he instantly flipped onto his back. "Are you sure that's the first time you've done that?" He asked tongue curving over his lips.

~ "Of course. I wouldn't lie."

~ "Well, I hope in the near future we can do that again. I never knew how good it felt to have your prostate massaged."

[michelleleewise]

I actually have a fluff request this time! 😂

So I saw these two prompts:

You look really cute in that sweater

No, like.... It's just, I can't believe you're actually wearing my clothes.

And I thought... wearing Loki's clothes. And maybe reader fashions it in a way that ACTUALLY LOOKS LEGIT and it takes Loki a moment to realize...wait... that's mine!

If you want to change the phrasing of the prompts that's fine...If you have a different garment in mind that sweater or whatever...but that's the idea!

Thanks again!

-💜💎

I loooove this!!! In my mind, Loki would have the softest, warmers sweaters 🥰💚🥰💚. And here we go.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Green Sweater

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff, bit of smut, like a hint.

Sunmary: Loki always had the nicest sweaters, you resisted the urge as long as you could.......

You sat on the floor, sipping wine as you folded yours and Loki's clothes. He was away on a mission for the next couple days, so you decided to catch up on housework before he got home and demanded all your attention, and you loved it. Since he moved in with you a year ago, he decided the only thing he needed when he got home was you, in the bedroom.

You smiled at the memories as you made it to his sweaters. Holding his favorite to you smelling it. Even after washing it it smelled like him. You really wanted to wear it, knowing it would be soft against your bare skin, but you weren't sure if you should, it was his favorite. You folded it, setting it aside as you finished folding.

The next day you got up, going to the dresser looking at the sweater, running your fingers over the soft cashmere. You decided to go for it. Pulling it out, you laid it on the bed, pulling on a pair of black leggings you slipped the sweater on. It was admittedly to large for you, but you had a plan. You tightened the waist, looping it in the back, tying it into a loose knot, showing off a bit of your stomach, you rolled the sleeves up to your elbow, cuffing them so they wouldn't slide down as you pulled the neckline to the right, sliding it down your shoulder.

You looked in the mirror, twirling around and smiled, it was super comfy as you wrapped your arms around yourself "no wonder it's his favorite." You smiled as you got to work on your chores. You were finishing mopping, hearing the door open "Darling? Where are you?" You heard Loki. "In the kitchen love." You called out as you heard him toss his boots by the door.

You felt his arms wrap around you from behind, pulling you to him as he kissed your neck. "I missed you." He sighed as he kissed your exposed shoulder "not as much as I missed you." You said, turning your head to look at him as he pressed his lips to yours, moaning as he pulled your hips to his, running his hands over your exposed stomach. He pulled back panting, taking you in "You look really cute in this sweater." He said running his hands over it. "Thank you love, you like it?" You asked, pulling away from him to model it for him as he hummed.

"have you worn that before?" He asked as you twirled around. "No, first time." You smiled, rinsing the mop out putting in the closet as he watched you. "What did you want for dinner love?'You asked lacing your fingers behind his neck "is you an option?" He asked smiling. "Nooo, but if your good, dessert." You winked as he blushed. You ordered Chinese as he showered and changed. Setting the table as he hugged you again "Darling, are you certain you haven't worn that before, it looks very familiar." He said sitting down. "Well It should be familiar, it's yours." You smiled as his eyes widened.

"A...are you upset?" You asked as he stared. Blinking a few times "Hmm? Oh, no...like.....it's just....I can't believe your wearing my clothes." He said smiling. "Well, its just. when your gone, I miss you so much, and today I decided I wanted to wear it to......feel close to you." You said looking down. "I won't if you don't want me to." You said looking at him as he got up, kneeling in front of you "no, no im not upset in the least darling, if anything, I'm....flattered." He smiled, running his hand up your arm. "You can wear whatever you like of mine, don't ever think that would upset me." He said as you hugged him.

"Green is definitely your color darling." He smirked, running a finger under the hem of the sweater. "So, have I been good?" He asked looking up at you. "Exceptionally." You smiled kissing him. "How about, you go to the bedroom and I'll put the food away." He winked as you kissed him again. "Don't take too long, I reeeeally missed you." You whispered against his lips as he smiled. You got up heading to the bedroom "Oh, and darling?" He asked as you turned around "leave the sweater on." He winked as your cheeks flushed. "As you wish my king." You smiled heading to the bedroom. It was going to be a long night.

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

@vbecker10 @high-functioning-lokipath @lokisninerealms @lokiprompts @lonadane @xorpsbane @daggers-and-mischief @sinsandguilt @commanding-officer @lulubelle814 @lokidbadguy @lokisgoodgirl @lokislittleprincess @juulle987 @catalina712 @stupidthoughtsinwriting

[the-paris-of-people]

Legit loved the ending of season 3!! But do you think Benvi will be endgame? Honestly thought Daxton was over until reading Lang's interview. And from a narrative perspective, it feels like it makes no sense to have them still be a thing unless it's the last scene of the show (far far in the future- where she loves herself (I feel that's how they can work that back in)). That would majorly suck because my 2 favourite dummies are my favourite pairing. Way more entertaining to watch.

Also side note, how are ppl saying the ending makes no sense? Ben and Devi in this season make more sense than Daxton if you think about it. She literally forgot about Paxton after she starts dancing with Des. In episode 8, when they had that moment, it's not noteworthy for her, she doesn't even bring it up with Dr Ryan. With Ben, however, she got jealous knowing he kissed another girl and this was after Des was introduced. I mean it's there but she pushes it down. If she saw Ben and Margo interact she would have probably hated that too. Then the one free boink thing? Hello romcom gold! And lastly Ben's heart eyes and the stomach knots! If anything, Devi and Paxton barely interacted past episode 4. Ben and her had way more interaction!

I'm like 80% sure Ben and Devi will be endgame based on how the cast (Maitreyi, Jaren, and even Darren who plays Paxton) talks about Ben and Devi as a couple after wrapping season 4. I honestly am of the opinion that I don't think Ben and Devi need to meet far in the future when Devi loves herself- Devi has shown in this season INCREDIBLE growth, she was able to stay in a secure, stable relationship with Des for awhile, can deliver a sincere apology when she messes up and has much better emotional self-regulation, and has agency in her life to decide what her dream is and go after it (when she decided to not go to Shrubland and stay with her mom and pursue Ben again) Yes, she has those quieter struggles of not feeling like she's enough but I think everyone has that and I truly have faith in her that the next relationship she will be in will be great. But yes, I am also torn between wanting them to be a couple for a few episodes or having a giant love confession from Devi.

That's so interesting people say the ending makes no sense- I guess it's because we all watch the show from a different shipping lens so you amplify the significance of the interactions between the pair you prefer so it may be hard to be objective. I think that if you watched this season alone you may think that Ben and Devi don't make sense getting together at the end but in the context of their entire series it really puts a lovely bowtie on their story and I adore it. I've read several amazing analyses about how their relationship thematically fits into Devi's coming of age story and familial relationships so it makes TOTAL sense for them to be together (in fact, it's the only option that makes sense, frankly)

[theladyofdeath]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 12}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby's blogs! >> @snelbz​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

* In case you missed the announcement - we will now be posting chapters 3 days a week! Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. We hope you continue to enjoy the story! 

** Trigger warning: Miscarriage. 

This chapter is legit a roller coaster, ngl. Enjoy. ;)

“You don’t have to do this, you know.”

Nesta stood in the living room of Elain’s house with Nyx on her hip, feeling guilty for dropping Nyx off for the night even though Elain was the one to offer. 

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to. Gives these little cousins some bonding time.” She reached out and took Nyx’s chubby little hand. “Besides, you and Cassian both need time to recoup.”

She wasn’t about to deny that. It had been a week since her not-date with Balthazar, a week since she and Cassian had uttered more than passing comments on how Nyx had acted throughout the day to each other.

Every time she looked at him, she found him already watching her and the fact got under her skin.

It became an unspoken thing that whenever she cooked dinner, she would make an extra helping and put it in the fridge for him. Not because she felt like she needed to, but because it made her feel better about their awkward arrangement. The longer time went on, the more she realized that as much as she’d been acting like taking care of Nyx together was a death sentence to her social life, he was going through the same thing.

And when she got home, she planned on making dinner for the two of them to share together. A sort of white flag of truce between them.

It was the least she could do. “Call me the second something happens-.”

“We’ll be fine,” Elain said, taking Nyx from Nesta and kissing her sister’s cheek. “Now, go. Relax. Take a bubble bath with some wine or something. Read one of those filthy books you used to hide in your closet.”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed.

Elain’s smile widened.

After a tough goodbye, Nesta was heading toward her car and driving back home, making a quick stop at the grocery store just around the corner.

She quickly got all of her fixins, prepared to make one of her favorites - salmon, rice, and green beans. A glance at the calendar that morning told her he would probably be home around five, which gave her just under two hours to make dinner. Easily doable, she’d made three-course meals in less time, for much harsher customers.

Yet she couldn’t figure out why her stomach was in knots.

*

When Cassian came home, he opened the front door and froze. The quiet in the house unnerved him. Usually, there was some random white noise to fill the house, whether that was the television or one of Nyx’s inane toys that distracted him so well. But as he walked through the house, the TV wasn’t on and he couldn’t hear much of anything.

Until he heard a throat clear from the kitchen.

Instantly, Cassian was on alert, not liking the sound at all, recognizing who it had belonged to, but silently, he made his way into the kitchen.

Nesta was sitting at the table, a plate of food in front of her, with an identical one at the spot he typically sat in.

“What’s…going on?” He asked, slowly taking another few steps into the kitchen.

Nesta stood and grabbed a beer out of the fridge, before taking it back over to where he hovered between the table and the doorway. She held the cold bottle out to him. “This is a truce.”

“A tru-?” He took it, but shook his head, not quite understanding her. “Where’s Nyx?”

“He is having a sleepover with Seph, Elain and Azriel. Elain wanted us to have a night off,” she said, sitting back down at her seat. “So I made us dinner.”

“You made us dinner?” he repeated, staring at the plates. “For the two of us to have? Together? At the same table?”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “Yes, unless you don’t want it.”

Cassian cleared his throat as he pulled the chair out across from her and popped open his beer. “I won’t turn down free food. Especially when it’s made by an expert.” 

Nesta said nothing more as she cut into her salmon. “An expert?”

“You get paid for cooking,” Cassian said, picking up his fork and collecting a pile of green beans. “That makes you an expert. A professional.”

“This is a lot of compliments,” she said, watching him carefully as he ate.

“Maybe I’m jumping on board with this whole truce thing,” he said, mouth full of food.

Nesta wanted to chastise him about his manners, but bit her tongue. “You weren’t on board with it to begin with?”

He chewed slowly and then set his fork down. “Neither of us have…handled this very well,” he admitted, taking a drink from his beer. “And I’m willing to take a portion of the blame, but not all of it.”

Nesta weighed his words carefully. They were blunt, but not untrue. Sure, he’d acted like an ass many times, but she had only responded in kind. She knew she could be a bitch, and she knew she did it well. Sometimes too well.

“For this to be an official truce,” she began, holding her wine glass in her hand, swirling it once, twice, “there has to be terms we both agree on.” His eyebrows raised, but she pressed on before he could speak. “Mine are that we have to communicate. When you get frustrated or pissed at me, you can’t just bottle everything up until it all explodes. And when I get overwhelmed, I promise not to snap at you or act like such a…”

“A bitch?” He provided, when she stumbled over her words, smiling around the beer bottle pressed to his lips.

She wasn’t able to stop the smile growing on her own face, as she said, “Thank you, asshole. But yes. Those are my terms.”

He took a drink and nodded. “Okay. I think I can handle those.”

“And what are your terms?” She asked, cutting into the flaky fish for another bite.

He was quiet for a moment, debating. Nesta took a sip from her wine glass while she waited, watching as thought after thought passed across his face.

“I want to get to know you,” he said, finally. “I want to know who you are and I want you to know me.”

Nesta cocked her head to the side. It was a simple request, but Nesta wasn’t exactly good at allowing people to get to know rher. “And how do you suppose we do that?”

“A simple conversation will do,” he said, shrugging. “Over salmon and alcohol. Mostly alcohol.” He reached across the small table and picked up her wine bottle, filling up her wine glass to the brim. 

“Getting me drunk so that I open up?” Nesta asked, sipping from that wine glass.

Cassian chuckled. “I would never.”

She watched her for a second, before taking another larger drink and setting it down. “Fine. Then it’s a truce.” He smirked, glancing over the table between them and then leaned over to look on the counter. “What?”

“I’m just looking for an official notice.” His smirk grew into an all out grin. “Something to sign. I figured you’d called up Tarquin and had some official documents written up.”

“You think you’re so funny.” She rolled her eyes and he chuckled, reaching an open hand across the table.

“Truce,” he said, taking her hand in his. They shook once, and Cassian was struck by how much smaller her hand was than his, yet by how firm her grip was. It was an impressive, professional handshake.

“So what do you want to know?” She asked, scooping some rice onto her fork and getting a bite of fish to go along with it.

His eyes narrowed as he thought about it and she began to wonder whether they should have laid down some boundaries. But he asked, “You went to the University of Velaris, right? What did you study there?”

Nesta blinked in surprise, not having expected the question. “Business and marketing.”

Chewing slowly, Cassian raised an eyebrow. “Nothing culinary?”

She shook her head. “No, I liked cooking, but I never thought it would become my career. I majored in business and marketing, with a minor in communications.”

“That sounds…” He fought for the words for a second. “Boring.”

Taking a drink of her wine, Nesta chuckled. “Oh, it was,” she admitted. “The longest four years of my life, but I’ve got the pretty, little diploma with my name written on it to show for them.”

“And how did you learn about food? How to cook?”

She shrugged. “I taught myself. I graduated college and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I got a data entry job at a marketing firm and spent my free time in the kitchen, trying and testing and tasting.” She paused, and her eyes fell to her plate. “Before my dad died, he listened to my idea about starting a small restaurant, with a few of my favorite recipes on the menu. He left me the money to do it in his will.”

“And now?” he pressed, although his voice held a certain gentleness. “Are you successful and thriving?”

Nesta snorted. “I make enough to live and pay the few of servers I have. If that’s successful, then I suppose.”

Cassian nodded in appreciation. “I’d say it is. What about the future? Bigger restaurant? Multiple restaurants?” 

“Someday,” Nesta said, with a longing in her voice. “And what about you? And your guitars? Surely you don’t want to be a bartender forever.”

Cassian shrugged. “I don’t mind the bartending. Good tips and I meet a lot of interesting people.”

“But?” Nesta asked. 

“But,” Cassian repeated, huffing a laugh. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t exactly say that managing a bar is my passion.” 

“So, guitars then?” Nesta asked, brow raised. “You’re really talented. Your guitars are beautiful.”

Cassian’s eyes shot to hers, wide as he slowly set down his fork. “Holy shit, did you just compliment me?”

Nesta’s lips pursed as she kicked his shin under the table.

“I’ve always been good with my hands. Not like that,” he said, pointing at her when he saw the smirk growing. “I mean, creating things, playing instruments, even something as mundane as making drinks. If it’s something I can do with my hands, I typically love it and nine times out of ten, I’m good at it.” There was none of the cockiness she’d come to know in his voice. Just pure explanation, and a bit of devotion. “I’ve tried my hand at making furniture and little knickknacks, but there’s nothing that compares to building an instrument from scratch.”

“And you do it all? Yourself?” She asked, taking another bite.

He nodded. “I start with a few rough pieces of wood. Sand it, stain it, and boom, brand new guitar.”

Snorting, she lifted her wine glass to her lips. “I think you may have missed a few steps in there.”

“Well, I didn’t want to bore you,” he chuckled.

“How long have you been playing guitar?” Nesta asked, finishing off the last of her food.

Cassian took a minute to think about it, then shrugged, finishing off his beer. “As long as I can remember. I grew up with my mom in Illyria. They live simply up there. Music is…a way of life. It grew on me quickly. Mom bought me my first guitar that a friend of hers had made before I could even walk.”

Nesta chuckled, quietly. “Just like you did for Nyx.”

Cassian nodded. “Yeah, I guess so. Another drink?” he asked, nodding toward her emptied glass.

“Sure,” she said. “But, wine is gone. I think there’s some tequila in the cabinet.”

Cassian lifted a brow as he rose. “Tequila?”

Nesta grinned as he went to the cabinet. “Make me a drink, bartender?”

Cassian laughed as he grabbed the glass bottle from the cabinet. “I can. What’ll it be? Tequila sunrise? Margarita? Pretty sure we have some lime juice, somewhere.”

“I’m not picky,” Nesta promised.

She heard him laugh. “Somehow, I have a hard time believing that, Archeron.”

“Only where it counts,” she replied, smiling at him. She picked up their empty plates and rinsed them off, loading them into the dishwasher. Turning, she found him setting a shot glass with salt on the rim down on the counter. She chuckled. “That’s not what I asked for.”

“First of all, you technically didn’t ask for anything in particular,” he said, pointing at her as he crossed the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Secondly, this is the most classic drink I can make you with tequila. It’s the oldest recipe in the books.”

She outright laughed. “That’s cause it’s just straight tequila.”

“Exactly,” he grinned and damn it, if her heart didn’t skip a beat. “I lied, no lime juice.”

“Fine,” she said, crossing her arms. “But if I’m doing sloppy shots, you’re joining me.”

“Oh, I never say no to shots,” he said, grabbing another from the cabinet. 

He filled them up, and slid one to Nesta, who took the glass in her hand and held it up.

Cassian clinked his against hers, and they tossed them back. 

Nesta’s face didn’t change a bit, and Cassian met her steady eyes. “Impressive.” 

“Not my first tequila shot, Nazari,” she said, hopping up to sit on the counter. “What else do you want to ask me?”

He leaned down on the countertop, letting his arms lay flat. “Hmm.” He let his fingers drum quietly. “What did you want to be when you grew up? Or was it always a chef?”

She scrunched up her nose. “I was convinced I was going to be a doctor, I wanted to help people. But then I found out how many years of school was required to be a doctor. So I decided I wanted to be a nurse.”

Cassian carefully poured a couple more shots. “And what happened to that dream?”

“I found out that the sight of blood makes me queasy. Sometimes I throw up, sometimes I pass out.”

He laughed. “That seems like enough to throw off a career plan.”

“Yep,” she admitted, picking her wine glass up.

Cassian filled up the shot glasses, once more, and slid hers back to her. She set down her wine glass and snorted as she tossed it back.

“You know what we should do?” Nesta asked, and Cassian lifted a brow in question. “Go for a swim. We’ve been here over a month and have yet to use the pool that I’ve been cleaning, daily.”

Cassian took his shot before watching her, closely. “Last one in has to share their deepest, darkest secret.”

Nesta scoffed. “What are we, children?”

Cassian grinned as he pushed himself back from the counter. “Scared of a little competition? Afraid to lose?”

They stared at each other in silence for a minute before Nesta jumped off the counter, and ran up the stairs to throw on her swimsuit.

Cassian and his heavy footsteps were close behind.

It took her a few minutes to remember where her swimsuits had been packed, and from the slamming of drawers down the hall, it seemed Cassian was in a similar predicament. She finally found a two piece stuffed in the back of her underwear drawer, not exactly what she had been looking for, and hesitated before stripping down and pulling the bottoms on. Nesta was out her bedroom door before she even had the top fully tied, pulling it into a hastily tied bow behind her back. Her feet carried her as she flew down the stairs, but she froze when she opened the sliding glass door and found him already in the water.

He grinned from where he had his muscular arms resting on the side of the pool, and his hair was soaked, pushed back off of his face. With the wide smile on his face, he looked so much younger, almost boyish.

With a sigh, Nesta turned and walked back into the kitchen, grabbing a couple beers in each hand and made her way back onto the lit up patio.

“I win,” he said, smirking up at her.

The tongue she stuck out at him wasn’t her most quick witted response, but she was trying not to let her eyes drift beneath the water. When she suggested the pool, she hadn’t been thinking of how much skin would be on display, for either of them.

“That’s because you only had one piece to put on,” Nesta said, sitting near him by the edge and handing him a drink.

“Hey, if you only wanted to put on one of those pieces, I wouldn’t have stopped you,” he protested, and Nesta had to hide the way his suggestive tone, those words, made her blush. 

He didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he popped open his beer and took a long, slow drink.

“So how about that secret?” He asked, voice lowering. 

“Hmmm,” she crooned, tapping her chin. “Which to share when I have so many to choose from?”

Cassian chuckled. “You would have an endless string of secrets. Come on, what skeletons are in your closet? Something you’ve never told anyone else.”

Nesta had a lot of those, too. She wasn’t exactly the “open” type.

There was one true secret she kept though. One that no one else had known, not even Feyre or Elain. Just her and…

She hesitated and he looked up at her, caught the look on her face. “What?”

Shaking her head, she said, “I don’t want to kill the mood.”

The hand holding the bottle was right next to her thigh, and he let his pinky skim over her skin. “That kind of secret, huh?”

She gnawed into her lip, nodding.

“I’ll tell you mine, if it helps,” Cassian said, looking up into her face.

She slipped into the pool, thankful the water was warm, and shook her head. “That wasn’t our agreement.”

He stayed quiet, letting her process her own thoughts.

Sinking beneath the water, Nesta re-emerged, slicking her hair back. After a steadying breath, she said, “I’m sure you remember Tomas, my ex who interrupted our date?”

The mention of their date surprised Cassian, after so many weeks of them dancing around it. He nodded.

“We were together for a long time, you know? All through college.” She wasn’t looking at him, wouldn’t meet his eye. “I got pregnant just after our senior year. I had never wanted kids, you know? Wasn't the family type, at all. Never saw myself having a family. Anyway,” she continued, shaking her head. “It didn’t matter. I miscarried.”

Cassian continued to look at her, continued to watch as she stared blankly ahead. 

“I got excited about it, too, which is ridiculous,” she went on. “For a moment, for those few weeks that I thought Tomas and I would be starting a family… I actually got excited.”

“How far along were you?” He asked, gently.

She answered immediately, with no hesitation. “Thirteen weeks. It was like one day I was pregnant, carrying our child and the next… The baby was gone.” She was quiet for a moment. “I woke up one morning and there was blood, so much blood. Tom was already at work, so I drove myself to the hospital, but there was nothing they could do.”

Cassian recognized the slow blinking, knew she was reliving those slow, sad moments again.

“I was dying inside, trying to come to terms with the fact that our baby was gone, and Tomas got home and-.” She took a deep breath and looked over at him. “He asked what I was making for dinner. He didn’t even acknowledge that our child was gone and… l guess that’s when I decided to do the same. To pretend nothing happened. We didn’t really talk much about it. We never told our families, I never told Feyre or Elain. Our father died about a month later and it all seemed so insignificant at that point. But Tom and I never recovered, our relationship at least. We broke up a few months later and…” Nesta shrugged. “Life kept going. I decided to open my restaurant and never looked back.”

“I’m sorry,” Cassian said, quietly.

She finally looked at him and shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”

“That doesn’t make it any less painful of a memory,” he countered.

She just nodded. “It’s how it was supposed to be though, right? Wasn't meant to be.”

Cassian took another drink as he nodded, slowly.

“Anyway,” she began, clearing her throat before dunking herself back down under the water.

“Would you like my secret?” He asked, when she turned and rested her arms on the edge of the pool.

She shrugged. “If you feel so inclined. You didn’t lose the bet.”

He leaned back, letting his arms drape across the edge of the pool as well. “When I was eighteen, I broke my back. I decided to take a year off before I started school, and was working construction over the summer to save money. I wanted to travel for a while. But then I took a bad fall off a roof. I spent two weeks in the hospital and then was stuck in my bed for another ten. And Rhys and Az stayed by my side the whole time. They put off their last hoorah vacations before they went off to college to stay with me.”

Nesta’s eyes drifted to Cassian, drops falling from her lashes. “Doesn’t seem like a secret if people know about it.” 

“You didn’t know,” he shot back.

Nesta smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Fair. That sounds awful.”

“It was,” he agreed. “I don’t know if you know this about me, but I don’t like to stay still for very long.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed,” Nesta said, a little spark returning to her eye. “It was torture,” he followed, finishing off his drink. “Not being able to move. I played so many damn board games that I never want to look at one ever again.”

“Even if Nyx asks?” Nesta inquired.

Cassian gave her a lopsided grin. “Well, he’s the exception.” Nesta laughed, and Cassian shook his head. “I’d do anything for that kid. I think Rhys knew that, when he named me godfather.”

She understood that, related to it completely. Especially considering they had been named godparents together, regardless of their mutual distaste for the other. Their love for Nyx, for Rhys and Feyre, had been evident to everyone.

“I miss him,” she admitted, resting her cheek on the concrete. “I know it’s only one night, and I’m beyond appreciative, but… It’s weird not having him right inside.”

He nodded. “I get it. I do, too. I know Az and Elain can take care of him, and I’m sure he had a blast with Seph before they went to bed, but it hasn’t stopped me worrying about him.”

Nesta nodded, stretching her back. She took a drink from her beer. “Did you ever want kids of your own?”

He blew out a harsh breath and drained his own bottle before answering. “I never really considered it much, when I was younger. After my back healed, I was so focused on getting back to life that relationships and dating weren’t high on my priority list-.”

“But fucking was?” Nesta asked, smirking.

He rolled his eyes, nudging her slightly with a shoulder. “Maybe I was interested in sex more than relationships, I’ll admit. But before I knew it, my early twenties had come and gone. Everyone I knew was getting married and had babies on the way and… I was still the one living the bachelor life and decided to just run with it.”

“I get that,” Nesta agreed. “After…everything that happened with Tomas, I never wanted that again. My date with you and my date with Balthazar are the only two proper dates I’ve been on since college.”

Cassian lifted a brow. “And have you been on any improper dates?”

Nesta didn’t answer. Instead, her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink as she finished off her beer.

Cassian’s grin widened. “I never knew you were such a freak, Archeron.”

“Oh, fuck off,” she muttered, which just made him laugh harder. 

“I must admit, it’s nice to hear you talking about our infamous date so often tonight,” Cassian said, pulling himself out of the pool.

Nesta couldn’t help but notice the way his muscles flexed, how the drops of water streamed down his back, between his shoulders, down to his waistline and the swim trunks, which rode low on his hips. She cleared her throat. “I didn’t say anything nice about that date, did I?”

“Absolutely not, but is there really anything nice to say?” he asked, sliding the screen door open. “I mean, you were an absolute nightmare.”

She gawked after him as he went inside, and once he came back with a small pyramid of beer cans, Nesta said, “I was a nightmare? You were a complete disaster!”

He scoffed, setting the cans down and cannon balling back into the pool. Even though she was already in the water, Nesta couldn’t help the squeal that left her. Cassian was grinning when he came up for air. “I forgot my wallet. I fully intended to pay you back, both monetarily and with the best sex you’d ever had in your life, but you decided to get huffy, stomp back to your front door and slam it in my face.”

“Oh, please,” Nesta said, reaching for a can and popping it’s top. Foam erupted from the opening and she put her mouth to it before it could drip into the pool. “You were over twenty minutes late, you wore work boots and a leather jacket to the nicest restaurant in Velaris, and we ran into your fuck buddy.” She drank deeply from the can, emptying it in one go. “As for the best sex I’ve ever had in my life, I’ve become very accustomed to and am just fine with my own hand, so you’re going to have to try pretty hard to do better than I myself can.”

She wiggled her fingers in his face and before she could register what was happening, his hand was wrapped around her own. As if he didn’t already know that. Cassian had caught her getting herself off in the bathtub, a memory that was seared into both of their heads. He tugged her closer and the empty can fell from her hands, floating on top of the water.

“I was talking about the past, sweetheart, but you seem to be talking about the present,” he breathed as her chest brushed against his own. “Who says my offer still stands all these years later?”

“You’d be a fool not to make that offer,” she breathed, and she knew the scent of beer was all he was breathing in. 

“And would you accept it if I were?” he asked, one hand still wrapped around hers, the other snaking its way around her waist. “Still offering?” 

Nesta’s breath hitched as their mouths grew so close, too close, close enough to reach out and taste his lips with a brush of her tongue.

It was tempting.

It would be stupid. Alcohol fogging her brain or not, Nesta knew it would be stupid.

But it was tempting, and in that moment, there were very few things Nesta could think about other than his hands against her skin, his lips a breadth width away from her own, and his cock she could very prominently feel twitching against her thigh. 

Nesta’s lips brushed softly against his as she said, “Try and find out.” 

[stressy-enby]

A lovely person who has asked to remain anonymous asked:

Hi, can I request headcannons for Iida, Todoroki, and Bakugo liking a brown female reader with bubblegum pink hair that has a quirk with wings and horns like Angelina Jolie’s Maleficent but magic like Scarlet Witch’s? She’s super intelligent, skilled, witty,crafty, and doesn’t let anyone push her around (big bottom energy tho). Also super, super clueless about when people want to befriend her or have romantic feelings for her. (Bonus: insecure about her horns and wings and they reassure her that she’s literally fucking gorgeous).

I would love to write this for you! I loved your character description, but a fair warning: I probably won't touch very much on the Reader being brown, seeing as I am as white as a ghost and also stupid. I hope you enjoy regardless. 😅

Also, I haven't written for Bakugo or Todoroki in a hot minute. This'll be fun

Warnings: Swearing

Masterlist

. . .

Tenya Iida

It’s not love at first sight, more like intrigue at first sight

He notices that you’re a loner. You don’t fall into groups the way everyone else does the first couple weeks of school

He mentions this to his friends once, and Midoriya’s like, “one sec,”

He leaves, then comes back 2 minutes later with you in tow

“She said she’s sit with us at lunch! I wanted to talk about her quirk anyway.”

You’re like “ok i guess this is happening”

And thus the Dekusquad adopts you

You’re a good foil for the group

Whereas Iida, Uraraka and Midoriya are generally cheery and good natured, you’re cynical and snappish, and get along surprisingly well with them all

Iida’s drawn to your prickly disposition. He attaches himself to you at the hip and you kind of let him

He’s nice enough. A little uppity, and certainly dramatic, but not insufferable

He finds himself becoming more and more taken with you by the day, and you find yourself becoming more adjusted to his presence

You’re not entirely sure why Iida insists on hanging around you so often, but you let him

You somehow missed the obvious heart eyes 🙄

One day, you’re hanging out with the girls, and Uraraka accidentally lets it slip that Iida has a crush on you

You go “Really? Does he?”

Literally all of them are like “....Did you not.... realize?”

It’s ok, you’re just a little dense

The girls convince you to ask him out, and you agree, albeit hesitantly

“I mean are you sure he-”

“YES, (Y/N)! He follows you around like a lost puppy!”

“That doesn’t mean he has a crush on me, though.”

“..... are you dumb???”

Shoto Todoroki

It’s funny because y’all are basically the same person

Super smart and powerful but really dense when it comes to emotions?

Ah yes. I see no problems here

You both ended up gravitating towards each other, just because you weren’t friends with anyone else

You shared a table at lunch but literally never spoke

You both had a mutual respect for each other, but it never really turned into anything more than that until..... you guessed: the Dekusquad adopted you two

They really do be taking in emotionally constipated and overpowered emos

You both talked more, and you started to grow on each other

When Todoroki first started falling for you, he legit thought he was dying 💀

His palms went clammy whenever you were close. His face heated up whenever you talked to him. His stomach seemed to tie itself it knots whenever he saw you.

Homie couldn’t connect the dots

Nor could you

Iida, Uraraka and Midoriya are watching you two like “can y’all just kiss already??”

One day, Todo notices that you seem more distant than usual

He pulls you aside after class and asks what’s up

After a little bit of gentle goading, you admit that someone called your horns ugly that morning

He literally says out loud “That’s just not true. There’re beautiful. All of you is beautiful.”

You take a minute to process his words, and that’s when it hits you that you like him.

“Oh shit,”

Katsuki Bakugo

Oh my god

You’re going to kill each other

So the Bakusquad forced themselves on Bakugo, right?

It was less of adoption and more of a kidnapping

They do the same more or less with you

Like the Dekusquad, the Bakusquad enjoys picking up less-then-friendly strays

You’re a little more accepting of your new group than Bakugo, who sticks around for you, ironically enough

Baku can’t deny that you’re powerful. You’re one of the strongest students there, and that makes you a rival

You settle right into that role, spewing insults and levying attacks at him

Y’all really said “enemies to lovers”-

Bakugo begrudgingly respects you, and you him

Neither of you can quite place when you stopped constantly scowling at each other and starting sharing knowing smirks 

Somehow your rivalry lead to friendship 

And then something more..... 👀

Like Todoroki, it takes Bakugo a while to figure out that he likes you, but when he does he’s like “No. Fuck. WHY?”

How did he go from hating your guts to wanting to kiss you stupid face?

You are equally confused

Baku asks you one day to go out for lunch with him, and you are thoroughly thrown for a loop

“I thought you didn’t like me.”

“...you’re not all bad.”

“....huh.”

“Well? Spit it out!”

“I thought I didn’t like you.”

“And?”

“You’re also not all bad.”