#like i don't say it often but it truly rewired my mind and it's the best

[benjaycaptain]

long weekend means marathoning exu: calamity

because you have an extra day to recover from the devastation

(✿◠‿◠)

[kaleido-write]

Also it's so sad when you realize hateful movement are linked to lack of knowledge and a lack of basic empathy

So even if they say it's to help someone it's really just to have power over them or have a higher ground .

Theses are really interesting and show how hate will negatively influence someone whole behavior and brain in a way that keeps them from having empathy nor see as human someone they dislike , hence why they will resort to fake debate tactics, dehumanization tactics in order to make themselves feel better in a situation that challenge their empathy.

I've been very lucky to at a very young age develop a special interest in sociology, neurology and psychology. The importance of a well built society based on love and understanding is more than vital especially when you see stuff like in Afghanistan, Gaza and the whole conservative shift the world had .

I was lucky to realize that behavioral pattern young and to absolutely go against it . I litteraly rewired my understanding and approach toward people so I could be open minded and a safe space

And by open mindness i don't mean blind following , but i acknowledge that people from minorities that i am not a part from will likely know better than me , I acknowledge that as long as something doesn't hurt anyone then that people should be free of doing so .

Sometimes the responsibility fall onto the system entirely (patriarchy, christianism ect)

But sometimes people will blame a community for an individuals error (trans , queer , ect)

And it often happen when it's identity wise and not about something inherently white nor predominantly white (see patriarchy and Christianism) and when it's about theses identities people will often accuse a "mob" mentality or "cult like" mentality without truly knowing what they mean by that , because they will accuse people cheering and encouraging someone to discover themselves in a way that is self serving and is a huge evolution as indoctrination , because big change and evolution and the unknown is scary to humans (see xenophobia , its not the best example but it's a vulgarisation of my point) especially to thoses who never experienced it nor are scared to do so

They will then accuse of no freedom of discussion/speech , wich is often a complaint made after disingenuous questioning , such as conversation about drag queens and gender neutral bathroom, probably the most controversial of all too , queer kids , they will assume that queerness is behavioral . When sex , gender and all types of attraction are a spectrum (and yes while you as an individual you may be fixed on your identity someone else's may be probably fluid)

But the real cult like mentality lies in heavy conservatism wich is often found in correlation with religion and hate movement , because theses do not challenges you to change and be better everyday , it make you comfortable in hateful ways and while yes this might be a certain comfort you seek is it really worth sacrificing someone well being and humanity ?

[ziskandra]

Choosing violence ❤ number 7, 20 & 21?

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? okay so i already answered this question here, but rereading my answer there made me remember that there is yet more violence within my heart. before i start, a disclaimer: i cannot remember for the life of me if you also mass effect, so if you do not, apologies in advance for going on a rant for which you have limited context. that being said, the first character that immediately comes to mind is reyes vidal. andromeda fandom was only even really active for like, three months, but the amount of flare ups that happened that were centered on this one man...! who i will admit is quite fascinating, not that you would know it given the way most of his fanbase acted. because god forbid anybody characterise this man, who styles himself as the charlatan, who canonically tricks Ryder into doing his dirty work, be portrayed as maybe a tad manipulative or having goals that are a little bigger than banging his girlfriend. oh yeah. i said it. it was, for the most part, the femeryder fanbase I witnessed acting atrociously; while there were some wild takes on the mreyder side as well (like people saying that nobody should romance reyes with their female ryders), for the most part it was really justified salt due to the lack of mlm romance options compared to all other combinations. but the femryder side? they were eating their own, getting embroiled in popularity contests only one side knew they were even competing in, and it was a whole shitshow!!! anyway, as i said. fascinating character, would love to rotate him in my brain a bit, but sometimes recalling his existence makes me want to chew glass. maybe now that enough time has passed i should do a proper me:a replay and rewire some happier memories over those shit ones. (the funniest(?) part of this was that i was never really a reyder shipper--i was happily hanging out in my rydam corner--but seeing the way some of my friends were treated made me wary of bioware fandom for years to come lol. and yet did i learn? no.) 20. part of canon you found tedious or boring answered here! i have no backup answer for this one alas, i suppose my dragon age hot take is that i actually enjoy most of it 😔 21. part of canon you think is overhyped the ending of here lies the abyss! it's not exactly the canon moment itself, but rather the fandom reaction to it? people often treat it as a big dramatic moment of omg having to choose, but i don't know if it's because I'm a fan of Blorbo Suffering™, or I'm not convinced that whoever remained in the Fade is actually dead (can anybody in thedas truly be killed in a way that matters?), but idk. I just don't find it as emotionally impactful as other Big Decision moments in the series I suppose! (e.g., the Landsmeet, Anders's fate-- they always have me holding my breath, at the very least!) [choose violence ask game]

[spectralstitions]

oc thoughts and goals for 2025

Posting this here because it feels like the most informal place to dump some thoughts.

First of all I thought I'd mention that I change stuff about my ocs so often and post so infrequently that maybe like 95% of what is on this blog is outdated. So. That's great.... I'm truly using this blog to its fullest potential....

Second of all...... 2024 was a fantastic year for me in terms of unraveling my artistic mental blocks, but the problems I have with my ocs remain more or less unchanged. These blocks are difficult to describe, but they stress me to the point of being unable to draw my little guys or develop them much at all. Nor have I been able to make new ocs, as I feel a need to "complete" the pre-existing ones, as if they are each individual projects. As a result I've felt frozen; I'm not able to do much with them, and I can't so much as talk specifics about them with my friends because it stresses me out so much. The blocks exist not for a lack of trying to unmake them, and overall, you could probably say I made some progress this year as a byproduct of working through my art issues. But like with those, my oc problems are enigmatic and figuring out the root of them will be just as difficult as solving them. It took me over a year to identify and rewire the mentalities that rendered me unable to draw much, so I figure the timeline for my ocs will look similar.

The extent to which I get worked up over my fictional people is very silly and I'm well aware of this, especially because it's completely invisible to everyone else. And I wish I could get it through to myself that It's really not that serious, they're just ocs, they're supposed to be fun, because it works for the few characters I have that AREN'T story related. But when I was a kid I placed so much importance on having clearly defined characters with a structured, set-in-stone story to the extent that it felt like the only point of my life. And now I realize, I don't have much capacity for creating stories or characters in that specific way, but the pressure remains -- because honestly, what else do I do? I love drawing characters, but I only get emotional fulfillment from drawing the same ones over and over again. Which is a way to do it if you can create stories and/or find ways to invest other people in them, but that's always been a weak point of mine, and my motivation to work on it is very low because I'm not even really interested in doing that anymore. I keep revamping and changing things about my characters because I'm trying to come up with a structure that singlehandedly fixes what's happening in my mind and lets me fully engage with my characters again, which I realize now is never going to happen. Even if my structure is to have no structure, that's still an expectation of something that I put on myself that doesn't much affect my thought process or workflow. And although I can recognize this, I can not emphasize enough how difficult it is for me to break out of a system-setting or structure-making mentality like this. It's just completely unnatural to my character. It took at least a full year of trying nearly every day to rewire myself for my art, and this problem is far more relevant to my ocs than it was to art.

So.... what do I do then? Well, that's kinda what I want to figure out in 2025. OCs used to bring me more joy than anything else and I miss that. Like I mentioned before, there are little things that have improved this year, even if only marginally. I've been able to draw a few characters consistently, giving me something of a reference point to study. Those characters being -- my human AU of Jesper and Lily and, primarily, my sona. In both cases, allowing for vagueness and exploration of ideas to the point of lore/story contradictions has been extremely helpful. My sona in particular is a good example of the type of character I think I need to start making more of; they actually have a good amount of lore to them, but I sort of just pick and choose what pieces I care about for any given drawing so that I'm not stressed about depicting them "perfectly" -- because there is no perfect version of them, there's practically like 5 different versions of them. But I think of them as just 1 character, because their core concept, personality, and design motifs remain. Importantly though, and what makes this mindset very hard to follow for pre-existing ocs, is that I cannot LITERALLY pick and choose what lore to follow for a given work, or else the problems happen. It has to be unintentionally thoughtless, which is incredibly difficult for me, especially when I've already artificially placed so much importance on "making something" with my ocs. How can I treat them thoughtlessly when they're supposed to be so important?? Well, somehow I need to walk back a lifetime's worth of conditioning, so that I can realize, or rather, so that my body can realize, they're not actually so important.

I think my favorite way to have characters is to base them around a concept or topic that I have fun exploring many facets of very deeply (whether exploring an unconventional relationship type, untapped potential for particular symbolism, or something else) and to give them a core personality and set of design motifs. And then doing whateverthefuck with everything else. These allow me to fulfill a touch of my desire for structure, give me the means to express myself, and the means to form the emotional bond I need in order to get the dopamine hit that I need in order to draw anything in the first place (this is a whole nother problem and why I rarely make non-character art, though hypothetically I'd love to; it's just mentally hellish). And because of the vagueness, I get the dress-up doll aspects that keep me motivated to do things with them and have fun exploring things in new ways. But it's not without drawbacks, the main one being that communicating the point of my ocs or their deal to other people becomes very confusing and not super possible, and I can never make any consistent functional story with them, which is somehow both incredibly freeing and also really hard for me to grapple with for previously mentioned reasons and makes me feel bad about myself and my life.

It's almost pointless to include any ideas for solutions I have right now, because more than likely I'll drop them after a week when I realize they don't hit right, but... I'll talk about my newest one, since if I go through with it, it'd be more of a tangible example. Going into '25, I'm considering letting go of the idea of a strict world setting / species categories / specific lore etc. entirely and instead create a sort of vague, implied world through isolated artworks of characters and scenes. This way, any implied setting or lore is just the result of what was in my heart the day I drew the thing, causing development to happen more naturally and allowing me to retract, reinterpret, or reorganize things very easily. Not to mention this would coincide very nicely with my 2025 art resolution and inherently get me to draw more, because the art itself would be the "world", and everything would only exist so long as I drew it. It would also be easier to tie into my identity, which is a big motivator for me when it comes to making art and characters. My characters and lore would essentially just become part of my art style, whereas they currently feel separate in my mind. And It's a possible way to trick myself into doing non-character illustration, since I will have an emotional bond to the world, where I can draw things that aren't just the same characters. Is this making any sense to anybody?? It'd be the caspar cinematic (artistic?) universe. Straight from my soul. Imagine it... Reading this back, this is probably just how most illustrators naturally work actually, which should tell you how bad my brain has gotten....

As for what any of this means for the blog, I don't really know? I'm so anxious when it comes to putting any of my character's information on here because I know it'll just change and then the 2 people who read it will have the wrong idea of my characters and I hate that.... this is why I don't use it much. But now that I'm thinking of it, maybe making myself do it anyways, even though I do not want to, could be part of the solution. Getting myself used to posting stuff even knowing it probably won't remain true for very long, and not putting disclaimers on everything apologizing for it... could maybe help rewire my mindset a bit. I need to revert to my middle school days of making ocs to random songs and throwing them all into a universe with no rhyme or reason. I used to have the time of my life sharing them with other people.

In conclusion i need an audhd diagnosis.

[qahwa-chai-coffee]

i never quote reblog lmfao but this is so specific to me BUT then i also know a thing or 2 i do to make living in inferno easy so:D

romanticize ur life, and start to focus on every tiny pretty aesthetic comfy lovely thing in ur life. no they won't fix your life but the idea is to ground urself and rewire ur brain to look for what pleases u personally even if for just a few fleeting moments!!

accept and learn to feel the enormity and grotesqueness of a) ur feelings and b) ur reality/ life circumstances (atm).some of ours lives really are very shitty and feel cursed beyond redemption idk so instead of a Rollercoaster of false hope and band aid solutions - just accept ur feeling are huge and scary and painful and life feels like its out to get u and the best u can do is learn to feel, find catharsis for and then let ur feelings pass.

curate a little routine for urself IMM BEGGINNNGGGGG YOUUYIII. idc what u can afford and can get urself to do (im poor, unemployed, in chronic pain, neurodivergent and stuck w my abusive parents w access to not even internet so take my word if i can do it u can most def do it :D). idc if u fall off often idc the stuff u can get is not Pinterest level photogenic idc u don't feel like it i literally don't care ; put a little routine for urself before bed eg ill have tea / coffee and listen to this music for this long and ill read 2 articles online blah blah and ofc routines to help u take care of ur hygiene and reach ur goals (whatever both of these things are doable for u, ur good and im proud of u!). i promise u guys delayed gratification and setting routines for urself will make u feel better vs mindlessly indulging in pleasure, it's not hustle culture u need to distance urself from pleasure and indulgences and comfort for a bit to be truly able to feel it

reach out to ur friends talk with strangers (online /offline) u don't need to commit to anyone pls just talk to ppl i promise is self isolation is really bad for u omg

try to eat whole food as often as u can,, it always makes me almost instantly feel good

i dont want to fall in to an argument about God and religion and spirituality but yeah whatever avenue of spirituality works for u do smth it'll make u feel better

cuddle a lot

speak ur mind and say ily and thank you and sorry be embarrassing and corny but ull feel good PROMISS

don't think of the future lmfao, what will happen will happen when it does and sometimes the next step that ur supposed to take will show up in ur life unexpected and you'll know what to do to get the life u want. live moment by moment and pls, especially for ppl like us, do not think of the future in binary terms and don't hinge ur self worth and overall quality of life at what u think (u) should (do to make) a good future. what will happen will happen and whatever does - best case scenario or worst case - it'll rely on ur resilience and how good and healthy u feel on the inside aka every tiny choice u make and things u feel on a daily basis. we will be okay. we are okay.

i have more so if yall want more lmk cuz i gotta go pee now bye

tips for living a sad lonely unhealthy life but being really chill about it

[cosmichighpriestess]

Depression/Anxiety Cheat Code

First and foremost I want to offer my deepest compassion and love to you unconditionally ❤️for anyone that is going through a depressed mindset during these times. Whether or not you've had depression your entire life almost or if it is a more recent problem.

I cannot even describe in detail in one post about my own battle with depression going back many, many years ago. I can just say from experience, I know exactly how empty, how dark, how lonely, painful and at times mostly numb and hopeless it can feel. Remember depression is an illusion, negativity is a shadow cast over your true underlying energy which is always in bliss. You are already perfect and whole now as you are. Oftentimes depression is dressed up as something to wear, sometimes people are in love with their sadness, they are stuck and cannot let it go. It's what makes them feel safe, because it is an old friend, it makes them unique, and they do or do not realize how toxic it actually is to your mentality and well being. Which is perfectly understandable, given the circumstances of our society and how we're expected to be a certain way, or past experiences haunting us, for example traumatic situations being repeated over and over.

But I'm going to offer you tools to fight this awful feeling inside of you that's become apart of who you are if you feel like there's a dark cloud constantly hovering over you. Remember it's beatable, and you are already perfect the way you are now. You don't have to suffer anymore. This is not "tough love" these are just tools and information I'm hoping you will be open to receiving. Depression cannot exist in the Here and Now. The reason you are experiencing depression, (which can stem from past abuse, self worth issues and the list goes on,) but after this, is because you are not truly living in the present moment anymore, and your mind, thoughts, emotions are somewhat attached to the past/future-experiences which in reality, no longer exist in the here/now. You holding onto them; it allows the experience to 'appear' as if it is still here and now, with you. Indeed, it is not. Some powerful methods I have personally found, have to do with (changing lifestyle habits/energetic rewiring), as vastly as possible to the daily norm, and thus reprogramming our consciousness.

By changing our daily lifestyle choices, we force the subconscious to re-wire itself and over-write itself with new patterning, new programs. Because you aren't doing the same thing every day, it will create new layers of experience, new colors into life, and since you are doing something new, You will receive something new, new energy to your experience, new color and spice to your life, because that's just how the universe works, from an amazing guide, as Bashar says, "like a mirror it will never move or smile first, it sees you as the Creator, it is simply reflecting unto you, what you put out, and awaiting your order. What you put out is what you get back." One of the universal laws that Bashar repeats often, "and the more you do this, the sooner you will realize the very nature of your experience of depression is self-induced and ultimately illusionary in itself, because it's not really here with you, you are simply carrying the illusion of it by holding on to the idea of it and believing that it's still here with you."

Also to look at it through a more positive point of view As Bashar always mentions, see it as " deep-rest" and do not judge it negatively. Look at it objectively. Of course meditation, breath work, positive affirmations, mindfulness, change in habits, and similar practices or any activity that is most joyous and exciting for you, connecting with animals and nature, dancing or singing, art, creative-play ect. ect. going or doing something new everyday, following your excitement every moment that you are able to do, anything that puts you more in the present moment will be in and of itself a form of meditation and spiritual activity because you will be far more immersed in the moment, and more focused on the task or a game rather than thinking a million things at once and not doing anything new, creating the same pattern and reality experience over and over again which results as depression. These mindfulness type practices will help build up inner stillness in your consciousness experience and the sooner things like depression, anxiety, past/ future and anything that does not serve you in the best possible way in the here and now will vanish quite rapidly.

So forget about your depression, don't give anything power over you, pretend it is gone, be delusional, fake it till you make it, don't cover it up with a smile, just live in the moment. Breathe, give yourself a break, you've been through enough. Forgive yourself for having been self-destructive for years, forgive the others who have hurt you. Wake up to the realization that you are not limited to being one way for the rest of your life. You are already healed and whole already, your souls true essence is already perfect now.

You will change, you will be happy, it is always a decision to be happy. Go to a new place, try a new thing, listen to new music, meet new people, where an outfit a different way, speak in a new way that feels more authentic to you, think in a new positive way. Doing so, you replace your old subconscious patterning with new programs and experiences. Eventually you forget you were depressed to begin with, and wind up realizing you were always happy and joyous, and that is our natural state of being, like a child, but instead you were stuck in a psychological loop. Most psychological disorders are a result of the mind being stuck in time and experiences, not ever truly being present in the here and now. Many times your nervous system just needs a good break so it can relax and energetically breathe.

Get out into nature, wind down from the overstimulation of electronics, ground yourself to the Earth, bathe in the Sun, go hiking with a friend, or similar activities where you are surrounded in a positive and supportive environment and atmosphere. And you will feel better, and thus thinking better more clearer and more positive naturally follows. Remember, anxiety is just excitement with a negative judgment placed upon it, remove the negative judgment and you have excitement. Sooner or later you will start to feel more and more like yourself, the more you do this the more new patterns of life replace the old patterns then sooner or later you will be a completely different person, a brand new person, as if your anxiety, depression and traumas never existed in the first place because you are a new person every single moment. But you hardly notice it because you are not as still, as you could be in mind and body, so you still hold on to things and dilute the present here and now with past and future constructs. You are creating the illusion you are the same person because it's what you think you must be.

Don't overcomplicate it. Be easier on yourself, don't listen to or engage with negative people around you. And if you are able to completely shut them out and forgive them. If you cannot forgive them now, try to everyday. Remember, they are playing a role in your life to show you what you need to know about yourself. Please be gentle with yourself, you are a living thing, you are important because you exist, and creation does not make mistakes. You matter, all you have to do is exist. Forget about being productive. You are doing enough just by existing. Rest. Sometimes when you're depressed all you need to do is just rest. You can and should talk to someone, a counselor of sorts or do what feels right for you to help you process trauma, do not be afraid. There's nothing to be afraid of, I promise you. Once you come into alignment with your natural self, you will realize this is who you are underneath, who you always were and realize you never had depression, anxiety, trauma, diseases, or disorder, because it was an illusion cast over your true energy. In alignment of yourself you are an entirely different being altogether. And alignment is simply embodiment of presence.

As Bashar says, "Sometimes all you need to do to experience enlightenment is to simply, lighten up." 🙏 My deepest love and compassion for you, you are never alone. ❤️🙏

[thisdreamplace]

How can you not use techniques? Although affirmations are thoughts and not exactly techniques so, I understand why visualisation isn't necessary. With affirmations you are supposed to get an image once you affirm. How can you live in the end if you do not affirm? Just by knowing that it is yours? I mean how would you change the inner mental chatter? Also I saw a post from another account saying that someone had been successfully manifesting for years and yet they were stuck with a manifestation for 15 but they weren't worried because they were living in the end. How can it take that long if they already know how to do it and have been doing it for a long time? I mean, unless they are trying to manifest something like super powers I don't get how it can possibly take that long, it's rather discouraging. How can you live in the end when the 3d is right there?

We have been manifesting all of our lives. Were we thinking about which techniques we should use back then? Nope! We just manifested. The good, the bad, all of it. Of course, we didn’t know about our power back then so we didn’t always get the things we wanted. But, we were manifesting without techniques nonetheless. When we get to these teachings, the techniques are there to HELP us. The law is literally calling for us to rewire our brains. But the thing is, what are techniques without us? They’re nothing. People often get caught up in using techniques to get them what they want. But no, we’re Gods. You’re the reason you’re getting what you want. Affirmations/SATS/scripting, etc only supported you. But it’s YOU who has the power. We can have what we want regardless. The techniques just help us change states and live in the end. This is why I, and many others, advocate for remembering who you truly are. Manifestation is a lifestyle. Not a you got what you want, now you can turn it off and go back to normal type thing.

I barely affirm anymore, at least not on loops. I don’t feel the need to. I have blanket affirmations I go back to, but I really don’t sit there looping them. I use them more as reminders. Before I learned of the law, when I was manifesting my life from hell, I was simply thinking. So naturally for me, I just use a mental diet and occasionally visualization when I want to. In the beginning of my journey I would loop all the time. But I don’t feel the need to anymore. As I’ve persisted on this journey, I am getting better at my desirable manifestations being effortless. As I continue to remember who I am more often and relax into a strong feeling of knowing the law is true and always working. I guess this is how you move out of needing techniques and your mental chatter is able to easily fall in line with the states you choose to dwell in.

Also, I saw that post too! Absolutely wild lmao Like, good for that person for persisting anyway. But I’ll say this, we often forget one little thing, which is why I’ve slowly began taking other’s stories (such as the one mentioned) with a grain of salt. We are literally always creating, always experiencing in the 3D our own minds... so I mean... if you have a fear of your manifestations taking forever (which, in all honesty, I have too) then of course you would see this and get scared. Meanwhile, that person could have gotten their manifestation in 15 hours. You can literally only experience your own reality. You don’t actually KNOW what they experienced at all. I’d love to say something else encouraging, but this is the truth. When we talk like there’s literally other people, we are giving away our power. How can we say “I AM the operant power of my reality.” Then think someone else is manifesting in our reality? haha It makes no sense and you can’t be of two minds. Neville says this, and it’s true. You must choose, as it will help make your own inner world more peaceful.

That being said, you literally make the rules. So, I wouldn’t worry much about the illusion of someone else’s manifestation taking years. haha I remember I saw somewhere, a really good comment someone made. She was like, “y’all. Don’t worry about someone else not having their sp. It’s just your own fear being shown to you. In fact, they probably do have their sp in their reality.” And this honestly goes for anything. Success stories, yes, use them as motivation. But unsuccessful stories? Use them to learn, if you want to. But don’t allow them to fuel your doubts and fears, when you’re the creator in the first place. God (you!!!) is Love. Why focus on the unwanted realities when you can focus on the desirable ones? You do have a choice. You are God.

I’m gonna be so honest with you guys. The more you do this for YOU and not for your manifestation (which is literally going to come to pass even when you focus on yourself... it’s the law!!!!!) it becomes so much easier. That’s how living in the end when the 3D is right there becomes easier. When you allow yourself to accept you are God and your imagination is more real than the 3D, yes, it becomes so much easier. When you accept that the 3D is literally just a mirror of you and the law is fact (it’s inevitable and always working!!) it all becomes so much easier!!

Hopefully this is helpful! 💖

[lettersfromloui]

all or nothing or just stop thinking

Picked a writing prompt today which was about books and reading. I wouldn't really know what exactly to write about this topic but then I remembered one way of thinking I used to have about books. "What if I read them all?" Of course, I know that it wouldn't be really possible (would it?) but it was still a motivating thought that made me pick up every book that was in front of me whether I was interested in it or not. To be honest, though I am now saying the "either I am reading all or nothing" drive isn't really what is suitable for my own life, this method still helped me discover new book genres, writing styles, etc. that I could take interest in. Being more open to different topics rather than reading the same story from different authors feels like rewiring my brain in some sort of way. Nevertheless, I think I can still keep that openness while not having the "all or nothing" mindset.

From and to overthinking perfectionist (soon not anymore, we're working on it, okay),

Trying to get rid of it, I realized, there has to be some effort to be put in (oh, please no). It is not that I just lived that way when it came to books but truly all areas of life - sports, drawing, writing, academic life - basically when it comes to skills and the daily life. I used to never curate any skills because I simply wasn't forced to as a child (as a child I surprisingly didn't have my own motivation to become excellent at something), I also didn't have that one interest in my life as I could be fascinated by anything and I rather got praised for my intelligence than for my effort. As for latter, I often see this discourse about how the "gifted kids" are now just people that never learned to be good at something because they simply never had to. And it is true, I never had to put a huge amount of effort into school or any skill that was needed. I always was able to pick up quickly but as an adult the standards became higher and whatever skill it was I just dropped it because I wasn't perfect and didn't fit into that standard with no effort anymore. Always felt like I was lacking discipline and drive when I looked around me. When life just easily flows by you for most part, there was no need for real effort. I know, sounds like an awful life (joke, I know I am privileged for that even to be my struggle which probably annoys me more that I turned out to become that. At the same time, trying to not to blame but just accept as it is and working on the now).

As for everyone, humans can sometimes have very limiting thoughts, beliefs and rules they set for no reason. For me, one was (or to this day sometimes still is) definitely the "all or nothing" mindset. It doesn't only keep you from continuing doing something, often times you don't even start. The fear of not being perfect from the very beginning, wasting time and then overthinking it before even starting. Such useless thoughts for what, right? And yet... What to tell an overthinking perfectionist? "Just start. Just do it." Oh, the taste of frustration that comes with these sentences because I know I have been overthinking those sentences over and over, too. At one point, I realized there really is no way around it.

"Just stop thinking" would maybe been a more fitting for me, personally. When I remind myself to just stop thinking, to go with my intuition, my gut, I am able to start (without overthinking every step, yay). So in the end, all it takes for me to just start, is to trust myself enough to know that I am making the "right" choices anyway and that there is no point to think them over and over. The effort and progress will come automatically, no need to think about it either. It also is important to completely get rid of the idea of perfection and the fear of making mistakes. Don't even think about it. Don't let it cross your mind for a single second, just do it (what in the Nike ads...) and when they do cross your mind, let them go. They don't serve you. It is not that one will become a non thinking human who makes no thought through decisions but letting go of the overthinking that does not serve you and only limits you. You are a highly intuitive person, knowing from the gut, from your heart what really is to do. Trust yourself (so corny), believe that you are this person because well, you are.

[mary-five-roses]

(edit: so sorry this has become such a long reply, probably went off-topic as well, and repeated things you said already, but I was carried away! A massive chapter just to say "I agree")

It did more than resonate with me, they are opinions that I hold myself, as well as most people I talk to (which, to be fair, are not many, and that might be part of it). Also I'm sorry you had to deal with protests at your workplace, that's never pleasant.

I think a lot of the difficulty in dealing with these topics, and in undoing the damage done by ARA and such in the public opinion, stems, like in many other topics, from the constant influx of seemingly reasonable opinions to the attention of a population with very reduced critical thinking skills. What makes it worse I think is also than in social media contexts is very hard to point out that "if you just tried to think about it with some effort you'd see where the problem is" without the person taking offense and going hard in the other direction to prove a point.

And that is not even the people's fault. Firstly the medium (social) is really not conductive to good conversation, even in supposedly more wholesome ones like tumblr (although the lack of a character limit makes a massive difference), and so I tend to not engage at all to protect my peace of mind. I realise this might be difficult when you are an active blogger. In this case I am furthering the conversation because I deeply care about the topic of purity wars among the left and the distress that comes from seeing your carefully thought about points of view misinterpreted and shoved into extremes and boxes. Personally it helps me to realise that on tumbrl in particular most people are really young, and therefore tend to hold opinions that are strongly influenced by the internet and not much else: you got to live a little, and meet people outside your bubble, and talk across generations, and read wide before you manage to form a fully fledged opinion on such complex topics. That might not be the case for your anon, but some things they said rang alarm bells in my brain. It is also true that this modus operandi has been filtering through in the "real world" of politics, institutions, newspapers and the like, I'm assuming in an effort to stay relevant by exploiting the extremization of views, so it's actually disingenuous and simplistic of me to imply that the Internet and the "youths" are the problem, but this perspective often helps me to not fall into the rage trap of "how can you even think that?!?!?". Personally the way I protect myself from losing my mind is to address important topics only if I have the space to discuss them in depth, abstaining from one-liners and recusing myself from conversations where I cannot back myself up properly or where I am bound to loose my cool. It's hard work though, and I don't know if it is truly applicable to people with a wider social life than mine.

A problem specific to animal rights, I think, is that most people lack a grasp on concepts that are incredibly basic in biology and related fields (I am myself a biology student, but in my 30s - mature student as we are called), and again, that is not their fault. One of my personal crusades (very quiet and internal really) is that biology, especially non-animal and evolutionary biology, is taught wrong below university level. I realised this because I did an education speed-run, going from foundational, to middle school, to high school certificates in less than 3 years in order to be able to go to uni. And at each level I was told "forget all you learned last year about this topic" WHY. Why dumb biology down until it is almost incorrect. Why have the "tree of life" with the humans at the top, instead of teaching children that evolution does not have a direction? That concept rewired my brain, and I wish I knew it sooner. Once you have a more in depth understanding of the world it becomes much bigger, and more complex, and the nuances become infinite and impossible to avoid. I absolutely agree that emotions have a major part to play in decision-making, but with the right rational knowledge as a base, emotional responses are better informed and more measured, inevitably.

Most people think of themselves as separate from nature because this is how we were taught to think of ourselves from the beginning. Animal and Human. Natural and Not. And it is such a gigantic gap to fill without the proper tools and while being bombarded all day long by intellectually coercive ideas. So yeah, I believe it's a good idea to try not to do all that work yourself and protect your sanity instead!

Hi! Just wanted to say, re:veganism discourse: Excellent Opinions, Great Delivery, Immaculate Vibes 👍 have a great day :)

cheers, ty! it is honestly sort of surprising to me that folks are reading along--as I said to someone else in DMs, I kind of figured that response was mostly something I was putting together in my own head, so I'm pleasantly surprised it's resonating with other people.

I am also just. :| not thrilled to have to be typing up all these "and here's how caring about animal welfare can radicalize you down all these shitty pathways if you add X and Y and Z" because at the end of the day I do think all species are worthy of basic respect; at the end of the day I do think there's nothing fundamentally better about me as a human than any other species. At the end of the day it actually matters a lot to me that my research mice are kept with as much enrichment as I can give them and that their lives and bodies and effort are honored and used wisely. It matters to me that the dogs I teach and the people I teach to train their dogs are learning with minimum stress and maximal confidence. These are all really important planks of my personal code of ethics!

It sucks to feel like I need to sit down and enumerate all the reasons that I think this other perspective of people who start in the same place I do--animals are neat individuals who encompass both the alien and the familiar, which share our lives in a multitude of ways--has developed in such a way that I think it encourages a really toxic way of relating both to animals and ourselves. In general I prefer to focus on places where I can agree with other folks, even if their opinions are different from mine. Someone in the notes brought up "struggle sessions," which are kind of the epitome of toxicity within the left: good values and a desire to help one another get so channeled through perfectionism and backbiting that you wind up with people gathering to literally torture and destroy each other. (Not just in China, either; it keeps happening, cf. Synanon in the US and the dissolution of the Japanese United Red Army.) That's not the kind of way I want to interact with people I'm supposed to be working together with.

So I try not to do that shit too much. I think about the places where people who have values just like mine go down rabbit holes and wind up in bad places, and I try and build barriers so I don't get burned out and angry and dissolve in a puff of flame. (I'm not directly engaging further with this anon for that reason, actually.) But just--aaaaaaaaauuuughhh, ARAs really irritate me because I can see where the roots are, and yet the entire ideology means that there essentially can't be listening. You can see that in the way I'm sitting here going "No, I know what your ideas are, here's why I have rejected them," and still I am getting exhortations to just listen and understand about ARA ideology. No. I did that, the last time there were protests about it in my workplace I went ahead and read the actual detailed IACUC reports released by FOIA that the protestors were shouting about, and bluntly it was a) not convincing and b) exactly the same appeals to emotional knee-jerk reactions and emotional flooding that I decried yesterday. Twenty years I have been checking my responses to these people, and it's never anything different.

I don't think that removing emotion totally from ethics and morals is wise or even possible--we use emotion for decisionmaking and encoding our values, after all, a person without emotion literally cannot decide things--but I do not like or tolerate subcultures that won't leave space to sit, think, and let the first knee-jerk rush of gut response die down. Sometimes, often, I do decide that my gut reaction is right! But I need the space to sit the fuck down and think about it, and if you take that to an ARA space you will mostly get flooded with more emotionally reactive imagery until you agree or leave. And that is coercive.