#like i don't blame people who just don't know but if you know? and you don't care? ??????
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So as someone who was a girl at the time. Wrestling in a "male" sport. It is soley because of egos (and the culture that made those egos. These men only have it because they were raised with it) . I did wrestling starting at 4. People were like "once you hit puberty men will beat you more"
While yes the men had more muscle than me. ( I was never a muscle person) I had skill. And also they were the same weight as me. They just had different proportions. Which happens all the time. I won as much as I lost. Which was pretty normal for my entire career. I was really good at not losing. Not the best at winning. Y'know.
Like one time I pinned a guy I had been wrestling with my entire life. (In an official match and not just at practice) and he then had a breakdown out in the hallway. Despite having wrestled with me for years AND knowing I had been wrestling longer than him. He thought he would just win by pushing me around. He wasn't that skilled. I had told him multiple times in practice he wasn't going to win by using his strength against opponents. He was a new wrestler maybe wrestling for a year or two. I gave him advice and guidance.
Not a small majority of my wrestling career was winning medals and matches because coaches refuse to put their boys against a girl (elementary) and then the boys refusing themselves (middle to high school)
It's sorta a cultural thing. Cause those elementary boys weren't not wrestling because they didn't wanna wrestle a girl. It's because their dads didn't want them to wrestle girls.
And anytime I did wrestle a boy two things would happen. I would win and his teammates would bully him. Or he would win and his teammates wouldn't congratulate him cause he beat a girl and that is the normal expected thing to do.
Like I sorta felt bad for any guy who had the decency to actually wrestle me. He was putting a lot on the line socially anytime he did. And that's respectable. I think it's such a cultural thing and I don't wanna blame the individual. I sorta wanna give them applause for going against the culture like that.
(Not that fucking bad if they broke down afterwards cause then they only did it since they believed I was gonna lose cause u was a girl. I'm talking about the decent guys who put what they had on the mat and left with sportsmanship win or lost)
It could also be any forfeit was counted as a loss on your record and if you're trying to go to college with this you don't wanna recorded losses.
It's definitely a cultural and ego thing.
call me ignorant but i genuinely don’t understand why sports have to be split up by gender.
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Payback
Sylus x reader
Content: You don't like Sylus allowing other girls to flirt with him, so you take matters into your own hands to get back at him
A/N: pt.1 pt.2
[2,911 words]
You sat with Sylus at the bar, your head resting against his shoulder, the low hum of conversation and clinking glasses filling the air around you. The two of you had arrived earlier than most, and now, as you watched the slow trickle of people filtering in, you couldn’t help but think that maybe Sylus had been right, you should have waited a little longer before coming.
With a soft sigh, you sat up, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "I’m gonna go use the bathroom, okay?" you murmured, your fingers lightly squeezing his arm before you slipped away toward the restroom.
The momentary break was meant to be nothing, just a quick trip before returning to his side. But when you emerged, your heart nearly stopped.
A woman stood dangerously close to him, tilting her head in that familiar, flirtatious way as she batted her lashes. The dim lighting of the bar only made the moment more intimate, more insufferable. Then, as if to twist the knife deeper, she leaned in, her lips close to his ear as she whispered something you weren’t meant to hear, something that sent a searing pang of jealousy straight through you.
Did you really believe him when he told you that you were the only woman he wanted? That he never entertained temptation? That he never strayed, even when countless women threw themselves at him?
You wanted to believe him. You truly did. But watching this unfold, watching him stand there and allow her to linger, to bask in his presence without a single sign of dismissal—it gnawed at you. It didn’t matter if he wasn’t flirting back or even paying her much attention. The fact that he didn’t push her away, that he allowed these moments to exist at all, was what truly got under your skin.
And who could blame her for being drawn to him? Sylus looked effortlessly breathtaking in his tailored black Versace suit, the sleek fabric clinging to him in all the right ways. He exuded confidence, mystery, an untouchable charm that made heads turn the moment he stepped into a room. If you were in her position, wouldn’t you want a man like him to look at you the way you wished he only looked at you?
But why? Why couldn’t he make it clear that he was unavailable, that there was no room for anyone else in his orbit? The questions burned in your mind, threatening to spill over into words you weren’t sure you were ready to say aloud.
Because no matter how much you trusted him, doubt had a way of creeping in like a shadow in the night. And right now, standing there, watching her linger in his space… that shadow felt all-consuming.
"You okay?" a voice pulled you from your thoughts, and you turned to find yourself looking at some guy. Tall, effortlessly good-looking, with a broody, mysterious air that made him stand out.
"I'm completely awesome. Just having the time of my life," you replied with a smirk, the sarcasm practically dripping from your words. "I mean, you agree, right? I am awesome. You know what? Don't even answer that."
He gave you a small smile, the kind that was just barely there but still managed to be annoyingly charming. "As much as I’ve heard about you, you're more than just awesome."
Your drunken mind barely registered the comment or who exactly had been talking about you. But if he had heard things, well, hopefully, they were good things. He had this whole mysterious, darkly intriguing vibe, and if you weren’t so hopelessly in love with Sylus, maybe—just maybe—something could have happened.
"Do you wanna dance?" you asked impulsively, tilting your head at him.
His eyes widened slightly, as if the question had caught him off guard. "I don't think that would be appropriate," he said, his voice polite yet firm.
Seriously, what was it with men not wanting to dance with you today? You were an amazing dancer.
"And why exactly wouldn't it be appropriate?" you teased, grabbing his arm before he could protest and pulling him toward the dance floor. Not that you were trying to make Sylus jealous or anything. But, you know, if it happened organically, you wouldn’t be opposed.
"Just relax. It's just a dance," you grinned, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him a little closer. You giggled as he let out a small breath, clearly debating whether to just go with it or keep resisting.
Then, as if the universe had a twisted sense of humor, the music shifted into something slow and romantic, one of those songs you'd never heard before but could already tell was meant for lovers lost in each other’s arms.
Perfect. Just perfect.
You didn’t want to look. Didn’t want to see if that woman was still talking to Sylus.
"You know," your dance partner said after a moment, "I learned how to waltz once. It’s been a few years, though."
You chuckled, tilting your head at him. "Oh yeah? Think you still got it?"
He smirked slightly. "Guess we’re about to find out."
For a fleeting second, you felt Sylus’s gaze burning into you from across the room. You could almost hear the unspoken words in his stare. But you ignored it. To hell with him.
The two of you danced so flawlessly, so effortlessly, that the energy in the room shifted. People took notice. Whispers spread, eyes turned. But you didn’t care. For the first time tonight, you were simply having fun.
Then, with a fluid motion, he twirled you around, sending a rush of exhilaration through your veins before pulling you back into his arms. And finally, the grand finish—a dip, deep and dramatic. The moment lingered as you locked eyes with him, your breath slightly ragged from the movement.
A slow smile spread across your face as you straightened up. “I’ve always wanted to do that,” you admitted, a soft laugh escaping your lips.
"I'm glad I could make that happen," he replied, his own smile warm and genuine.
Before you could say anything else, the sound of clapping caught your attention. You turned to see Wanda and Tara grinning at you, their faces full of approval and amusement.
“You were amazing!” Tara cheered, her excitement practically radiating off her.
Your dance partner chuckled, then took a small step back. “You should go join your friends,” he said, his voice quieter now, almost hesitant. “Besides, I wouldn’t want any trouble for you.”
And just like that, he turned to leave.
A frown crept onto your face. His words confused you. What kind of trouble? He was fun to be around, easy to talk to. You had a feeling that if nothing else, the two of you could have been good friends. But he was gone before you could ask.
The thrill of dancing, the lightness of the moment—it all started to fade as the weight of reality crashed back down. For a little while, the music, the movement, the laughter had made you forget. Forget about Sylus. Forget about the ache in your chest.
But now? Now, it all came rushing back.
You forced a smile as you said goodnight to Tara and your other hunter friends. They wanted you to stay, to shake off the sadness, but you were drained. Completely and utterly exhausted.
All you wanted was to be alone. To cry in peace.
And you didn’t care how you got home.
Stepping outside, the cool night air did little to soothe the fire burning inside you. But as if the universe hadn’t tormented you enough tonight, there he was—Sylus, leaning against his motorcycle, waiting.
The last person you wanted to see right now.
At least he wasn’t with her.
"What are you doing here?" you asked, voice sharper than intended.
At the sound of your voice, he turned his head, his expression unreadable—until his eyes met yours. Then, just like that, his gaze hardened.
"The real question is, what the hell were you doing in there? With that guy?" His tone was sharp, laced with something that almost sounded like jealousy.
God. The sheer audacity.
You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. "It's called dancing, Sylus. You know, that thing people do when they're having fun?" You crossed your arms, eyes narrowing. "And honestly? The hypocrisy is commendable. Really."
His brows furrowed. "The hypocrisy? What’s gotten into you, Y/N?"
Maybe it was the drinks. Maybe it was the adrenaline crashing. Maybe it was the way your heart still ached from watching him with her. But something inside you cracked.
"You know what? You’re right. I knew what I was getting into with you," you admitted, voice shaking, "but I can’t do it anymore."
His expression faltered for the first time, but you didn’t let him speak.
"Is this even a relationship to you, Sylus? Or am I just someone you’re fooling around with until you get bored?" The words came out harsher than you expected, but you didn’t care.
For a moment, silence hung between you like a storm waiting to break.
Then, something in his face changed. The sharpness faded, replaced with something else, something you couldn’t quite place.
Hurt?
"Is that what you really think of me?" he asked, voice quieter now, almost disbelieving. "Of us?"
You swallowed hard, but he didn’t stop.
"Is that what you think I’m doing?" He took a step forward, his usual cocky demeanor nowhere to be seen. "Just stringing you along until I get bored?"
The way he said it made your chest tighten, but you wouldn’t let him turn this around on you.
You stepped back, refusing to let your resolve waver.
"That’s how you made me feel today, Sylus," you snapped, your voice trembling with the weight of everything you had held in. "You made me feel used. You made me feel small—like I was nothing compared to her. Like she mattered to you, and I didn’t."
Your lips quivered as you tried to hold back the lump forming in your throat, but the words wouldn’t stop now.
"You can’t let the most gorgeous woman in the room flirt with you, throw it in my face, and then expect me to just stand there and not care," you choked out, barely recognizing your own voice—raw, broken, angry.
Sylus exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. He wasn’t trying to hurt you. You knew that. But that didn’t make it hurt any less. And maybe he hadn’t been ready for this confrontation, but neither were you—you hadn’t asked for this heartbreak.
"She means nothing to me, Y/N," he said, his voice quieter now. "And she wasn’t the most gorgeous woman in the room."
You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. "Yeah? That’s funny, considering how easily you let her hang all over you."
His jaw tightened. "Don’t use that tone with me, Y/N."
And that—that—set you off completely.
"Fuck off, Sylus," you spat, stepping back, fire burning behind your eyes. "You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to act jealous then get mad when I get the same way."
As soon as the words left your mouth, Sylus closed the distance between you in an instant, crashing his lips against yours in a kiss that was rough, desperate, and possessive. He had heard enough. He couldn’t lose you like this. He wouldn’t let it happen.
You wanted to fight back, wanted to push him away, wanted to scream at him for how much he had hurt you tonight—but you didn’t. Instead, you gave in. You kissed him back with just as much fire, all the jealousy, anger, and pain pouring into the way your lips moved against his. You wanted to rip his hair out, but at the same time, you wanted to fuck him senseless.
His hands gripped your waist as he lifted you effortlessly, and you instinctively wrapped your legs around him. He walked forward until your back hit the wall, trapping you between the cool surface and the warmth of his body. A sharp gasp left your lips as he tangled his fingers in your hair, tugging just enough to tilt your head back, exposing your neck to him. His mouth was on you in an instant, lips and teeth marking you, sucking deep enough to leave bruises. His marks.
He wasn’t the only jealous one tonight.
Watching you dance, hearing you laugh so freely with that guy—it had made something primal snap inside him. He wanted to be the one spinning you around, holding you in his arms, making you smile like that. He wanted to be the man who made you happy.
His hands slid under your dress, gripping your ass roughly as he pressed his hips forward, grinding against you. You gasped at the friction, a moan slipping from your lips as you felt how hard he was through his jeans. You wrapped your legs around him tighter, rolling your hips against his, desperate for something to ease the ache between your legs. You were frustrated, upset, and so fucking turned on all at once.
Then, before you could stop it, a single tear slipped down your cheek.
Sylus stilled.
He heard the soft, broken sob escape your lips, and his chest tightened. His hands, which had been gripping you so possessively just moments ago, suddenly softened their hold. He pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours as his breathing evened out.
His thumb brushed the tear from your cheek before he pressed a tender kiss there, his lips lingering. And then, slowly, he set you back down onto your feet.
The loss of contact made you shiver, but you weren’t ready for this moment to end—not like this.
“I'm so absolutely sorry for how I made you feel tonight.”
“I just wish you would push those women away, why don’t you do that?” Your lips quivered. His heart broke, how could he make you feel this way? He was mad at himself.
“I didn’t think it mattered. I thought you already knew I loved you.” He admits, feeling stupid for not realizing sooner how much it hurt you.
“Still, it hurts seeing them flirt with you and you do nothing.”
“I am sincerely sorry my love, I promise, I won’t let it happen anymore.” He closes the distance between you two. He wraps his arms around you tightly "you're my weakness y/n, I never wanted to have one but then you came along.”
“You’re mine, okay?” You say firmly.
"I am yours. So beautiful you are, the prettiest. I love the dress princess" he kisses your forehead
"Thank you love, I got it in your color" you smile.
"I know but It would look better on the floor” He grins wickedly. Oh my god, you really are stuck with him now.
“Don’t think I’m forgiving you that easily, though,” you said, your voice firm, your expression stern.
Sylus paused, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features, but he masked it quickly. “What do I have to do?”
You took a step closer to him, a sly smile tugging at the corner of your lips. “Beg.”
His brows furrowed, and he blinked, clearly caught off guard. “What? You can’t be serious.”
You leaned in, your gaze locking with his, a challenge in your eyes. “You heard me. On your knees. Beg me to forgive you.”
His lips parted, but he didn’t immediately comply. “Y/n–”
Before he could say anything else, you shoved him gently but firmly, guiding him to the ground. The sudden action had his breath hitching, but he quickly found his footing, settling on his knees in front of you. He looked up at you, his gaze filled with something between defiance and desperation.
His thighs flexed as he kneaded his jaw, eyes narrowing in thought. Then, he finally spoke, his voice low and sincere. “Please forgive me, darling. I am so fucking sorry.”
You raised an eyebrow, not satisfied with the apology.
Sylus let out a soft groan, his hands resting on his thighs, looking up at you with a vulnerability that made your chest tighten. “I’m so, so sorry.” His voice dropped an octave, heavy with regret.
And still, something in you wanted more.
The sincerity in his eyes pulled at something deep inside you, but you weren’t ready to let him off that easy. "I want to hear you say it. I want to hear how much I mean to you. I want to know that you won't let this happen again."
His breath hitched as his hands moved to the floor for support, his body leaning slightly toward you as if instinctively reaching for you, aching for you. “I won’t let it happen again, I swear to you. I won’t make the same mistake. Please, Y/n, forgive me. I can’t lose you. You mean everything to me.”
You could see the desperation in his eyes now, the plea for you to believe him.
"That’s better," you said, nodding slowly. "But words are just that. Show me."
He lowered his gaze for a moment, then looked back up at you, his posture shifting as if he was preparing to give you all of him. And he did just that, all night long. You drained the life out of him, not stopping until you were satisfied.
#sylus#sylus x reader#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#sylus x mc#sylus love and deepspace#lads sylus#l&ds sylus#sylus qin#love and deepspace#lnds#l&ds
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Hot Take Time!
I think the breakthrough revelation that the Sonic fanbase had about the series' reception during the 2010's, where full-force sincerity in its stories was mocked for being cringe and willingness to stand out in both a gameplay and artistic sense resulted in beloved games being panned retroactively, can be easily applied to FE Engage.
Engage is the most fucking sincere plot the series has had in over a decade. Yes, despite being the guy whose fav FE game is Fates, I think that game was still bogged down by the prospect of following up the blowout success of a game like Awakening and had too many instances of putting in a lot of ideas to see what worked rather than putting the full weight behind a select few core elements.
SoV had the baggage of being a remake while still needing a modern appeal, and ended up with a lot of contradictory aspects. And 3H doesn't know what it wants to be and never did from the ground up.
Engage is different. It wanted to be a grand celebration of 30 years of this great series. It wanted pizazz. It wanted spectacle. It wanted to say "we fucking love this series and we love the fans who supported us."
The characters are flashy and striking to make you remember them. The music is bombastic, with a wide variety of styles so anyone can find a favorite track. The presentation is beautiful, with great visuals and phenomenal sound design. New uber powerful mechanics balanced out by incredible map design, supberb flow, and responsive game feel.
But the sincerity shines brightest with its narrative. The core messages are well written!
Sometimes knowing when to retreat is better than foolhardy bravery. It's always worth considering someone's background and feelings before casting them away. There's never a single easy solution to your problems, and if you think there is, you'll end up repeating the same mistakes. You can find family with anyone, and are not bound solely by those who you're born to. To live authentically as yourself is beautiful and should be celebrated.
The game believes all of those things to a degree which really hasn't been seen since the series was on the brink of death.
But that sincerity was treated as unpalatable, cringe, and plain awful.
The fandom for a series that routinely and infamously has terrible armor designs now suddenly throws a fit because "flower girl has silly dress" or "these characters have face paint/tattoos."
The single laziest form of criticism for FE casts that has permeated the community since Awakening released, that being "the cast is one note tropes that have no personality or development outside of them", came back in full fucking force with Engage.
And it's pretty damn sad. In my opinion, sincerity shouldn't be mocked. Sometimes, you should take a minute and ask yourself "Is it bad, or is it just not my thing? Am I writing off an entire cast's writing because I don't like some character designs? Do I have personal preferences that aren't being met in this instance, and should I learn to grapple with saying that instead of just writing off the product as fundamentally terrible or, at best, half-assed?"
At some point, looking inward and considering community wide commonalities has to be recognized as a factor for why products are received the way they are, rather than just laying blame at the devs' feet for "not making a good product that people wanted." After all, word of mouth is the reason why FE even got this far, considering FE1 was effectively a sleeper hit because people who played it spread the word despite mixed reviews.
TL-DR, Engage isn't cringe, YOU ARE!!!
#fire emblem#fire emblem engage#fire emblem discourse#should i tag sonic lol#sonic the hedgehog#alear fire emblem
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As a butch individual I will not like you, fuck you, talk to you, make friends with you, or entertain you if you hate men, neither will my partner and other butches I know. It is not progressive, man hating isn't queer culture, because men are queer culture. Men are why I am masc, they accepted my masculinity first, lesbians were butch and masculine phobic to me for 8 years till I figured my shit out. I know that isn't the norm, but it isn't rare either.
These people put me back in the closet over and over. They don't support gender or sex being a spectrum, if they do they're showing no signs of it. They think saying men dni will stop guys who harass people but they don't stop because they don't care about consent and a dni doesn't change that. There are plenty of girl bloggers who also don't respect consent and send people gore and threats over minor disagreements. We don't go after them hardly at all in comparison considering we have people who've been doing that since 2016 and earlier that people still reblog and uplift because they're women. Men doing that on here don't get that treatment, because it's rightfully wrong. Most other sites white non queer men do getaway with that more while women don't, the Tumblr user base reversing that isn't progressive, because cis white women here get more slack then anyone else because trans fems, trans mascs, intersex people, and non white people get the "evil" tag over small shit, let alone actual bad things.
We teach in current society that men are incapable of consent, as if it's in their nature. This isn't true, but it sure does create a lot of guys who lack boundaries. That doesn’t mean Man = Bad it means society saying Man = Wild Beast is bad. A man is just whoever identifies as one, and identifying as a man has nothing to do with lack of consent, or toxic masculinity. I sometimes wonder if I identify as butch in a man way, idk, and I don't care, I am who I am, and women are who I spend time with in a queer way. My closeness to masculinity isn't traitor behavior. Femininity isn't Divinity, I do not worship women. Masculinity isn't an Ignominity, I do not criminalize men. Masculinity is also not Divinity, and Femininity isn't an Ignominity. Both can be fallible at times when the conditions are right, but they are neutral markers.
To make man = good we do that by just changing ourselves and our ideas of masculinity being bad, then we teach it to everyone else, including kids, friends, partners, and parents. When people stop the "boys will be boys" then more men will be taught consent.
I have an actual irrational hatred for a character that makes me burst into anger and hour long rants (not joking) because I see him as the epitome of toxic masculinity. Seeing him in a profile picture can ruin my day, but I do not put him in a dni list because I am not going to blame fans of him for my distaste in how the media itself supports his bad actions as good. Just like if I get harassed by men who lack consent, I will not blame all men and put men dni.
Saying "I block _" is better anyway.
Plus, how can you know someone's a woman? Not everyone has pronouns listed, gender listed, or just a big neon sign saying "I'm a woman." you will have no idea if people are respecting your frankly outrageous ask of who can follow or reblog your posts.
Men on this site who respect women and reblog posts do exist, and there are a lot of them. Also trans eggs who are on this site are not going to figure themselves out through media like mlp, she-ra, and whatever you post by saying men dni. My trans sister cracked her egg six months ago, so for her blog she would have steered clear of men dni disclaimers and probably blocked them out of respect. Now how does she undo that, go through her entire block list? That would be crazy work for people who wouldn't have respected her pre transition (which they didn't, not even other trans girls or queer gurls in highschool did, only now would they support her. That's what man hating does to people.)
There is no simple solution to keeping people away, oh wait... It's called blocking.
tldr; Having a dni for an entire demographic of people just for the flaws of a few inside doesn't work. It never will. People who don't care about consent will breach it to hurt you.
if you have "cishet men dni" in your bio i, a trans man, will not touch you with a 10 foot pole. i should not be forced to out myself as a trans man just to interact with you. on top of that, cishet men are not inherently evil. stop trying to reinvent bioessentialism with your "girl good, boy bad!" mentality.
#trans fem#<- because I mentioned my sis#idk what else to tag#idk#I love men#<- that's a good one#found out toxic masculinity/femininity and anti femininity/masculinity are in some forms of scrabble when looking for inity suffixes#so that's a useless fun fact#or useless to me I guess#anti bioessentialism#<- forgot that one
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ugh, there is just something delicious about the parallel between mistynat and jackieshauna in the first two episodes of the new season. i barely know where to start.
obviously, misty and shauna lose their best friends. they're both to blame/blame themselves for nat and jackie's death, because essentially, they killed them.
misty actively kills nat whereas shauna passively kills jackie, which shows the difference in their relationship. but at the end of the day, once they realised what they'd done, they have a similar reaction. screaming 'no' in disbelief and holding them in their arms. they refuse to believe not only their best friend is dead, but they've killed them.
OH! and they're both too late to save them. shauna is too late to save jackie from the cold and misty cries, 'it's too late' when tai asks her how to save nat. i can't believe i almost forgot this!
another obvious parallel, misty wearing nat's jacket!! we see that shauna can't seem to let go of jackie's butterfly top, treating it as a security blanket, and now in the adult timeline misty clings onto nat's jacket. both items of clothing are physical reminders of their 'best friend' that they lost.
finally, what parallel stuck out to me the most: misty and shauna became the versions of their friends they THOUGHT they were. shauna marries jeff and becomes a suburban housewife, misty dresses like nat and goes to a bar to do whisky shots and pick bar fights.
however, nat was more than an alcoholic, despite being reduced by misty to a caricature. she feels purposeless after the woods, she's broken and from what we've seen, isolated. nat barely leaves her hotel room except to do risky shit like chase the blackmailer or help shauna dispose of adam's body. the most we see her reach out is to kevyn, who she immediately pushes away when he tries to break down her walls. she's built up this alcholic, uncaring, asshole wall to keep people out.
so when misty plays her as some rough, badass femme fatale, she's demonstrating to the audience that she hardly knows nat. she only knew nat's exterior, and nothing like her true character. to put it frankly, misty never truly knew nat because nat didn't want her to. so when misty 'becomes nat' she's becoming the shallow understanding she has of her best friend.
this ties into shauna never truly understanding jackie's true character. not because jackie hid it from her, but shauna's resentment of her did. every action we see from jackie is protective of shauna—giving her valium to calm down, saving her from the plane explosion, and even 'allowing shauna to eat her.'
however, shauna can't see how much jackie loves her because of her own bitter resentment. even as a ghost jackie is seemingly punishing shauna for letting her die, but most importantly, for hating her while she was alive.
'i don't know who you are anymore shauna.'
'maybe you never did.'
if anything, it should be completely switched around. shauna doesn't know anything about jackie. shauna is projecting this mean girl persona on jackie that just isn't there.
misty is projecting this badass, gets in bar fights and tries to light men's dicks on fire persona onto nat. sure, nat has done those things, but that isn't who she is at the core. just like how being a mean girl isn't who jackie is at her core (i've gone more into depth before, here).
i love mistynat as much as the next yellowjacket fan, but we have to be honest, for the most part, nat was always cagey with misty. something happened out in the woods that made her distrust misty, and i think they're going to explore that this season. especially with the whole, misty telling shauna that nat knows where coach ben is.
both misty and shauna make up these fantasies about their best friends to connect with them after their deaths. it's just so fascinating the writer's have decided to parallel these characters, because when i think about it, misty has always been written as this desperate character, craving attention and love. . . but so has shauna.
they've been narrative foils this entire time and it took natalie dying for me to realise it.
#yellowjackets#shauna shipman#natalie scatorccio#misty quigley#jackie taylor#jackieshauna#mistynat#parallels#narrative foils#danistalks#danisbrainrot#yellowjackets season 3#yellowjackets analysis
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Hear me out: squid game edition
I've seen on tik tok and pinterest a lot of people saying 'hear me out' on the finest man of the entire south Korea which makes me believe this 'hear me out' has lost its meaning, so I'm gonna do a list full of my favorite underrated characters of squid game that no one talks about enough.
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N°6: That one math teacher from s1.
This man absolutely slayed his minutes of screen time and we have to admit he was smart as hell but unfortunately he was gone too soon (if he looked at me like that he would die looking a slurped caprisun)
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N°5: The square masked officer
He was given 2 minutes of screen time and he served and ate. I don't know if this if just me but I hope he makes a bigger appearance in the third season because I feel like he has some potential (help me lord he's fine as hell)
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N°4: Park Gyeong-Seok
Let's be real here, he did soooo good on episode 7, he literally went off and acted like he was in call of duty or something. He's honestly a great character and I got so sad they killed him because I want him to go back to his daughter (MY SHAYLA) but I also have a theory that N°11 (No-eul) was the one who went to shoot him but didn't actually kill him, this since we didn't see him die (he's so pookie I want him in my bed)
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N°3: Choi Woo-Seok
My baby did nothing but serve face for the entirety of s2 (LMAO) but I honestly love him so much, he's such a cool and funny character, although i found slightly annoying how much trust he put onto captain Park but i can't blame him since Jun-ho also believes him but I hope they get to find that island in s3. (That fuckass chain of his makes him finer oof)
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N°2: Deok-Su
BEFORE YOU COME AT ME LISTENNNN, OKAY? We can't lie and say he was the worst character because he WASN'T. Was he fucked in the head? Yes. Would he slay if he was alive during s2? Absolutely. This mf went INSANE during the bathroom fight and during lights out and although he wasn't the best with the brains, he definitely was one hell of a fighter. I don't think anyone in s2 would stand a chance if he was still alive (he's pretty fucking hot too I'd honestly let him destroy my insides)
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N°1: Seong Gi-Hun
How tf is he the MAIN CHARACTER but also underrated??? He's quite literally one of the best characters in the entire show but I'm so disappointed at how much trust he puts on people (frontman) but that only shows how much kindness he has in heart, I mean, after watching over 600 people die, losing both his best friends (RIP MY SHAYLAS) and also losing contact with his daughter??? This man deserves the best therapist in the world. I also will NEVER forgive Netflix for cutting off his fluffy hair and for taking away his smile. (He's so pookie and this pic is making me feral I want him to look at me like that when he sees me laying naked on the table as he waits for dinner)
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Anyway, this was a brief opinion on these characters and I know there's so much more I could say but I feel lazy and I can't remember half of the events of s1 but feel free to share your thoughts!! Like, repost and comment if you can I love you babes🫶🏽
#squid game#squid game x reader#gi hun x reader#jang deok su#choi woo seok#park gyeong seok#masked officer#square guard#seong gi hun
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I'll let you in on something as an ex christian and a child of religious leaders:
Canon Jesus as I've heard him be called here (genius btw) is kinder, more accepting and would fight for a lot of shit so called "Christian" nationalists would hate.
These bastards screaming Leviticus at gay and trans people have forgotten in the same book they're supposed to fucking love your god-damned foreigners and treat them like natives (not how we treated our actual Native Americans). Actual Jesus would beat a majority of these so called Christians out of the churches dedicated to him. Also...divorce is not allowed. I'm looking at the multiple divorced awful people who don't think they're the problem but turn on young kids and/or minorities. I'm staring hard at a so-called president and the trust fund baby he works for.
Fucking rape culture would piss that little Messiah off so much. He told your creep asses to scoop out your own eye if you have dirty thoughts because of how someone looked. How dare you blame a person for being attractive. You can control yourself fine! You're just refusing to.
Jesus hung out with prostitutes and gay people! For fucks sake and yet the people wearing his symbol will call for the annihilation of 13 year old little Billy because he found out he likes boys and girls!
You don't think your god sees it all?! I know what I read before. I remember what I was taught before. Atheists and non Christian religions or just leftist people in general are more prone to kindness and acceptance because they just choose to be good.
Am I saying they're gods people? No. Am I saying they're more godly than those who preach the Bibles words in hatred.
Literature wise? YES.
I'm not going to go here and say your god hates you. Cause I can't make that fucking call. I'm in no place. But God damn you have twisted words of forgiveness and love into something horrible.
You can't blame Satan for this. You can't claim the devil made you like this. This is the culture of hatred. Of unwilling and disgusting people in power taking a religion and making it a fucking cesspool. You can only blame your fucking selves.
And to those Christians who see the truth, who do not vibe with all that awful shit done in your god's name, I can only empathize with you. Just keep being you. Be accepting. Be loving. Worship in your own way.
I did long ago when I believed and I had such beautiful friendships and was a safe haven for many. That is how you're supposed to be.
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Cor Meum
(Latin) [noun] my Heart
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Ć̷͚̇ŗ̷̧̨̡͍̺̤̠͎̱̬͙̥̝̤̆̈́̈͌́́̀̀̐̓̈́̉̈́̽͂́͐͋̓͛̔̈́̓̋͆̔̀͗̄̆̌́͂̕̚͘͠͝o̴̧̜̭͇̣̘̫̜͍͚͈̰̣͚͈͉͉̝͔͇̾̿̏͛͗̑̚͜͝͝ͅw̶̧̛͖̭͚͈̙̬̯̼̬̻͇̹͊̓̈́̔̋͆̊̆͛͜͠ͅ-̷̢̧̘̜͈̞̻̳̫̠̟̘̳̜̬̗̪͗̈́S̸̨̡̢̼̺̤̮̰͍̺̞̃̏̀̓̇͌͐̉̑͒̈́̃͂̈́̌͆̍̓͗͌̽͐͌̚͝͠͝ͅǫ̵̺̜̝̫͇̼͉̫̪̫͈̹͕̱̱̳̝̱͔̫͚̟̭͍̫̖̭̲̞̩̱͔͓̘̪̝̦̜͓̟͉̐̐́̊͂́̐̀̿͂͘̕͠l̷̡̧̨̧̰͔̪̳̪̼͉̥̹̩̞͎̘̣̱̦̞̳̙̲̤̣̹͔̦̣͚̞͉̗͉̝̰̝̟͉̼͓͖̝̈̈͂͆͋̑͒̈͑́̈́̇͆͂̈́̃̂̏̿̐̽̀̊̃̏̉͘̕͘͘͜͜͜͝ͅX Reader
Word count: 2.8k
Requests: Open
TWs, Tags: Multilation, Murder, Guts, Vomiting, Delusion, Manipulation, Crowe and Reader are in an established relationship, Sol and Reader don't formally know each other
Pink heart garlands decorated the hallways, the faint scent of roses permeating the air, despite the amount of people here. Some students' lockers, once again including Geo’s, were filled to the brim with love letters. You couldn’t fathom why people made such a big deal of this day, treating it equally to far more important holidays.
Nonetheless, this year, you were not as unaffected by the Day of Love as you usually were but who was to blame for that? None other than Jericho Ichabod.
The two of you were together for almost half a year and it was by far the best time period of your life. You could not wish for a sweeter, more attentive boyfriend than him and you would be lying if you said you hadn’t imagined a future with him every now and then - like moving in together, getting married, adopting some animals.
“Are you even listening to me?” A feminine, smokey voice snapped you out of your thoughts and you looked over to the blonde girl next to you with wide eyes. Brtittney sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with bright pink acrylic nails.
“Seriously? I’m trying to help you here, you know?”
It was true, you had asked Brittney to help you pick out a Valentine’s day present for your beloved Crowe, since you couldn’t settle for one single thing.
The presents were either too dull, too basic for someone like him, other ideas were way too personal and expensive for Valentine’s day and were better suited for his birthday.
Brittney and you pushed through the crowd of students as you were on your way to the cafeteria.
“Sorry, Brit, I just… I feel like such a bad partner for not immediately coming up with something fitting for him…” Your eyes were cast down to the floor as you sighed heavily. The girl next to you rolled her eyes and smiled at you, nudging your side with her elbow. “You are not a bad partner, seriously, I don’t think I have ever seen Crowe this happy. You could probably give him a random stone you picked up from the street and he’d treasure it like a diamond necklace.”
She wasn’t wrong, Crowe wasn’t the materialistic type by any means, but you still wanted to give him something meaningful.
“I was thinking about getting us a sun and moon necklace, but I’m not sure whether he will like it or not .”
The blonde woman sent a deadpan expression your way, as if to ask you if you were being serious.
Averting your gaze, you were left to admit that he would most likely like it a lot. He liked jewelry, he liked celestial bodies, there was no chance he wouldn’t love it, if you were being frank.
“The only challenge is how you’re gonna get that, though. I doubt any local shop has this exact piece of jewelry in store right now.”
Fiddling with your fingers, you thought about ways you could possibly obtain this present for him.
“I’m sure some shop has the charms I need, I can just make the necklace myself.”
Brittney nodded at you in agreement, before pushing open the door to the cafeteria.
-
After almost an hour of looking for the charms you needed, you finally managed to find the perfect ones. A simple, golden sun with a small, round gemstone right in the center of the charm for you and a silver crescent moon, an oval gemstone adorning the middle for Crowe. Getting them was a hassle, especially since the mall was filled to the brim with people frantically searching for Valentine’s day presents. However, getting something sweet for Crowe was worth enduring the suffocating crowd.
Once you arrived at your apartment, you immediately beelined towards your bedroom to get to work, shopping bag in tow. Sitting down on your soft bed, you carefully unpacked the pendants, along with two black leather cords to attach the charms to.
It reminded you of when you were younger, when times were easier. Back then, you made necklaces like these for fun, to give to your parents or friends as presents. To you, it always felt far more personal than store bought jewelry. Of course, now that you were grown-up people expect you to give them presents other than hand-made ones, but you knew Crowe would never judge you, especially not for pouring time and effort into making something for him.
Taking a look towards the clock attached to the wall right over your bedroom door, you noticed you had two hours left until Crowe would come over.
The two of you had decided to meet up at your place in the evening and spend the night together, especially since Valentine’s day was on a friday this year. Perhaps tonight you could take things to the next level in your relationship. It was not like neither of you wanted to have sex, but he was your first boyfriend and you did not want to rush things, a decision he was perfectly fine with. A rush of warmth spread through your body at the thought, causing you to feel giddy as you got to work.
Time ticked by, soft music played in the background which you put on right before you started creating the necklaces. Looking at the time, you noticed not even half an hour had passed and you were already finished, the sun necklace already hanging around your neck. You pondered for a moment and decided to watch your favorite show in the meantime, during your wait for Crowe. While you turned on your TV, your mind wandered back to the walk towards the mall. You couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched, constantly looking over your shoulder as you made your way towards your destination. It was a feeling that had accompanied you for quite some time now and since you’ve been with Crowe it has only gotten worse. You shook your head, trying to disperse the thought. Due to the lack of another explanation, you decided your imagination must be playing tricks on you. Eventually, you put on the show and decided to relax a little, longing to get rid of the familiar tickling feeling right behind your ribcage, the feeling of dread. Losing yourself in your favourite show seemed like a good way to escape your thoughts right now.
-
Your gaze wandered towards the clock and you noticed Crowe was running half an hour late already. Usually he was never late to anything, but whenever that was the case he informed the person waiting for him. Grabbing your phone, you opened his contact and called him.
It rang once.
Twice.
Three times and a few more after that until you were sent to his mailbox.
Worry started to settle deep in your stomach. What if something happened to him? You knew that this town wasn't the safest, danger lurked in every dark corner and especially with how dark it was outside during this time of the day, your fear was not unjustified.
Just as you went to try for another call, the doorbell rang. Heaving a sigh of relief, you sprang off the bed and rushed towards the door, not bothering to turn off the show.
“Hey, I was starting to-”
It was not Crowe standing in front of your door.
Red eyes locked with yours as you gazed up at the man in front of you in confusion.
“Can I help you?”
The man looked vaguely familiar, if you remember correctly you shared a class with him.
He nodded and smiled, although it looked strained, like he was forcing himself to keep his composure.
“May I come in?”
Just then you noticed the box in his hands, causing you to cock your head to the side as you eyed him up and down for a moment. Black dress shoes, dark green pants with a chain in a lighter shade attached to the waistband and a black shirt. Underneath, a green-black striped long sleeve peeked out, effectively covering his arms. Straight, shoulder-length black hair, some green streaks scattered across the strands, framed his pale face but the most intriguing feature were his piercing vermillion eyes.
“I’m expecting a visitor…” You rubbed your arm awkwardly, trying to ease the tension coursing through your body. What was it about this man that made you feel so on edge?
His eye twitched ever so slightly and the corner of his mouth quirked downwards a little. “Don’t worry, I’ll be gone before he is here.”
Shaking your head, you stood your ground. You didn’t know this man, nor did you know what his intentions were.
His smile dropped and his eyes narrowed as he stretched out his arms, offering the present for you to take.
“Will you at least take a look at what I brought you?”
You eyed the box suspiciously, taking it from his hands with hesitance evident in your movements.
“Come on,” he nudged you, an unsettling smile on his face once more. “Open it.”
The man almost seemed excited as you began to take the lid off the box. Your blood froze as you gazed upon the contents.
A heart.
Blood smeared all over and a note to top it off:
With this I ask your Love
Give into me, let yourself fall.
For when push comes to shove
You will be all mine, after all.
You dropped the box in shock, your hands coming up to clutch over your mouth as you looked at the man in horror, a crooked grin spread over his features.
“Do you like it? Did you notice the initials I carved into it? It was quite troublesome, muscle is a tough material for engraving.”
Taking a step back you went to slam the door shut, launching the box outside in the process. However, just before it could fully close, the man stuck his shoe in between the door and the frame.
“What’s the matter, Pumpkin? I thought you wanted his heart so bad?" The man spat out the words as he pushed the door open, overpowering you with barely any effort.
He stepped over the doorstep, kicking the box further into the apartment and closing the door behind him.
"I would have given you my own heart, but I still need it to love you.” Gazing upon you, a sinister smile graced his features.
You felt bile rise in your throat.
“Do you not recognize it? The heart, I mean. Seems like you didn’t hold it as dear as you were supposed to, huh?”
His chuckle caused you to throw up all over the floor in front of you.
“Oh, Pumpkin, don’t worry. I am glad, actually. That means you never truly loved him, did you?”
He took a step closer.
“Perhaps… he was just a distraction until you found your true soulmate?”
Another step.
“Is that it, Pumpkin? I am here now, you need not longer endure his presence.”
Just then it hit you.
You never mentioned that the visitor was male.
This was not some elaborate sick joke, this man in front of you killed someone, your Lover's blood was on his hands.
Your gaze snapped up to meet his, eyes wide in shock and brows furrowed in fury.
“What…what did you do?” It took far too much effort to speak as you choked out each word.
The man stepped over the contents of your stomach strewn across the floor and stretched out his hand in a comforting gesture, though it felt more looming than anything else.
“I just took care of the trash.” He said it in such a nonchalant fashion that it made you sick.
Slapping his hand away, you quickly backed away, your mind racing as you contemplated your next move.
His gaze darkened, the red eyes staring at you grew into slim slits.
“Pumpkin, are you not happy I have freed you of him?”
This guy was nuts, just what on earth was he talking about?
“We can finally be together, just you and me with no one else in the way.”
His eyes locked onto your necklace and the corners of his mouth tugged upwards.
“What the hell are you talking about, I don't even know you!”
Taken aback by your statement, the man momentarily stopped in his tracks, hurt lacing his facial features now.
“I'm Sol, you… you know me.” He said it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, as if he couldn't wrap his head around the fact, the mere possibility of you not knowing him.
“We've been in the same art class for three years…three years which I spent desperately trying to get your attention.”
Slowly but surely he grew irritated.
“Look, Sol,” You tried your best to diffuse the situation for that is your only option as of now. “I'm sure I have seen you around, but you have never talked to me, have you?”
Sol's brows furrowed in irritation now.
“I have talked to you before, I have tried to befriend you and gain your affection, but you?”
The man scoffed as he stepped closer, his pace not slow and careful anymore but fast and purposeful. Before you knew it, he had your upper arm in a bruising, vice-like grip.
“You cut the conversation short. Every. Time. You disregarded me over and over again.”
He leaned in closer to your face and you felt a heavy weight settle in your stomach.
“I didn’t get why…and I have tried with all my might to prevent blood-shed, but you forced my hand, Pumpkin. The moment you officially started dating that slug, I knew I had to get active… I couldn't idly stand by and watch someone take the love of my life from me.”
He cupped your cheek with his free, ice cold hand and you started breathing faster.
“I tried to win you over, even as you were dating him but you acted like you weren't interested in me in the slightest… Do you have any idea how much that hurt me?”
Sighing, he lowered his head momentarily.
“And now seeing this necklace on you… you always knew you were mine, didn't you? Even if it was some part hidden in the depths of your heart…”
The sun necklace.
Sol meant sun.
You unintentionally marked yourself as his property, further playing into his delusions.
“Were you just stringing me along, wanting to see how far I would go for you? You were aware of my presence all this time, weren't you?”
Sol leaned in closer, shuddering in delight as he took a deep breath, inhaling your scent.
”All those years I've spent longing for you, watching your every move…”
Your breathing grew ragged, the panic in your stomach increased tenfold at the realisation and coursed through your entire body.
“It was all worth it. And to know you love me too… it's better than anything I could ever imagine.”
With every word he spoke you took more eager breaths, trying to calm yourself but ultimately ending in hyperventilation. Tears streamed down your face, which he wiped away with his thumb, the touch feather-light and filled with adoration. Had anyone else done it, had Crowe done it, it would have been comforting, but coming from him, especially in the current situation it disgusted you more than anything.
“Shh, Pumpkin, calm down, I'm here…it's alright…”
Sol pulled you closer to him, wrapping his strong arms around you.
You failed to recognize the words he muttered, too occupied with your own thoughts.
You could have prevented this.
You are the reason Crowe is dead.
If only you had been less ignorant.
The world around you started swaying a little, the lack of proper oxygen due to hyperventilation getting to you.
Sol carefully picked you up and as much as you wanted to thrash in his grasp, you couldn't, far too disoriented and weak to do so. Your arms were aimlessly flaying around, only earning a few grunts from him whenever you managed to hit him.
“Let's relax a little… I see you left your favourite show on, perfect to relax to, isn't it?”
He laid you down on the bed, climbing in right after and wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace once more.
You could feel your consciousness slipping away and no matter how desperately you tried to hold onto it, it was no use, you couldn't will your body to breathe more calmly and evenly.
He kissed the top of your head and tried to comfort you, although it did nothing but unsettle you further.
“Don't worry, Pumpkin…I'm here now and I won't leave until your visitor arrives.”
Your visitor won't ever arrive.
Sol won't leave you anymore, will he?
A sinister chuckle with an edge of playfulness to it, echoed from his direction as he spoke the last words you heard before passing out.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Pumpkin.”
#tkatb vn#solivan brugmansia#the kid at the back vn#tkatb#yandere visual novel#yandere vn#the kid at the back#tkatb sol#yandere#sol#tkatb x reader#tkatb crowe#the kid at the back crowe#crowe ichabod#jericho crowe ichabod#jericho ichabod#sol x reader#solivan x reader#sol brugmansia#solivan brugmansia x reader#the kid at the back sol#the kid at the back x reader
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ummmm yapping (kinda analyzing) about the recent ddvau chapter or whatever !! 😋😋
BTW THIS ISNT A POST ABOUT DEFENDING ANY CHARACTERS PLS.. 🙏😞
I'm just yapping about what I'm seeing mostly idk
comic/art creds : @kitsuneisi
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OK STARTING OFF WITH THIS PART!!! ^
there's so much that can be taken from this image alone GAHHH
in this chapter hotguy talks about the "view" of grians hospital room (which is CRAZY conversation starter btw 😧) which means he was definitely trying to get the upper hand here. Reminding grian how easy it is to track him, or spot him out.
Considering how grian acts around HG hes very closed off to him- so, in order to get information out of him (<grian), HG chose the more (IMO) authoritative approach. he deliberately chose a way of wording to make grian feel small, vulnerable, and almost more likely to share information due to the pressure of authority.
I mean, it'd be a lot easier to get information out of someone who's scared.
(AGAIN, NOT DEFENDING HOTGUY HERE!!!!This is definitely not a good thing to do, but it's also very common for cops / detectives to use fear or pressure as a tatic to get information out of suspects.)
Pressure makes people crack, which is what HG wants! He wants grian to "crack".
Ok that was way to long. 😞 Sorry chat
ONTO THIS PANNEL ^
We already know grian is standoffish towards HG but with HG's body language I don't think he was prepared for that wall to be put up so quickly..., or at least not to this degree!
Grian is obviously unsettled by HG's presence right now, and since the first part of their conversation was literally HG saying (more like implied but whatever) he was watching him; it makes sense why he is!!
Grian (mother spore) caused a lot of damage to both property and people (even if it wasn't technically grian who did it) he's obviously concerned about the consequences of what happened.
And if the law enforcement is anything like how I'm imagining it is then, he should be concerned about being arrested! Even if it wasn't his fault, he could still very well be blamed for the incident. It was still his body that was being used for the damage.
Okay, I feel like HG was trying to be nice..? Supportive...??? Here.. Like, it reminds me of #those people who're saying they aren't racist but the way they say shit is so ignorant that it makes you like.... Go "umm"... Ykw I mean???
Like it was low-key ignorant considering HG himself isn't actually mutant. So it just makes it worse that he phrased it like that.
I also feel like this was a way to show off the power imbalance here as well. Especially with how HG is practically on top of grian, while grian looks unsettled (and while injured), it really just shows their imbalance even more!!!
Which kinda makes the situation worse! 😭
Okay, so now he's going back to the pressuring route...,
While he's still leaning over grian... (ITS A POWER IMBALANCE THING GUYS I SWEAR!!!! I scream as they drag me into a padded room) oughhhh ☹️
With the way HG said "as far as they are aware, you were possessed by something that gave you wings" and the following up with "as far as I'm aware" I feel like he's trying to hint to grian that he knows something (he doesn't actually☠️) that he (<grian) doesn't want him (<HG) to know! Trickery !! 😮
This is also a very common cop (/ authority) tatic btw! Like saying they know things (while being vague, like, majority of the time) while (usually) knowing nothing. They use it as a way to say "hey, we know things! So it's best to fess up now since we already know LOL. (^_-)"
AGAIN WITH THE POWER IMBALANCE CAUSE WDYM "let's not forget"!!!! At the beginning !! bros low-key manipulative! (`´)
But manipulation is also needed in this line of work. so while I don't necessarily hate him for trying to get information out that way, I can completely understand why grian does NOT like the way HG is going about this. Being basically interviewed (coughsss interrogated) in this manner is extremely off-putting, stressful, nerve-racking and, annoying to deal with as the "suspect" <idk how else to phrase it sorry 😞
OOOOO OKAY where to start,,
The way he hugs him while basically saying hes kinda fucked if others find out about what happened AGGHHH tearing my skin off WTF IS HIS PROBLEM. 😭😭😭
THE "for now" IS SO OMINOUS.. are we foreshadowing rn chat
"it was just you and me" classic cop line! WOWZERS
But that line is kinda subtly telling grian that he can't hide something from him because he was there to see the carnage! He's basically saying "don't lie cause I'll know" or something like that
^^ (I'D LIKE TO PREFERENCE THIS BY SAYING THIS IS MY INTERPRETATION, YOU CAN SES IT HOWEVER YOU FEEL IT IS!!)
"your secret is safe with me" waiter,! Waiter! More power imbalance please!! 🍽️
THE WAY HG LOOKS AT GRIAN DURING THE HUG AHHHH falls to my knees and shreds my shirt apart in that one werewolf meme style
Umm okkk I think I'm done 🤓
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Tommy's introduced as a bigot in season 2 and often shown taking initiative in starting the bullying of Hen and Chim vs. waiting for Gerrard to do something and just not standing up for them. There's even a scene in "Chimney Begins" where no one else is even in the room to overhear and Tommy still chooses to be nasty to Chimney instead of a bare minimum of civil. Even after the "resolution" of the episode and his 'apology' (not for racism, but for making Chim prove himself at work), he's still shown to have spent years not learning his lesson, becuase he goes back to the same behaviors with Hen and Chimnney even mentions that "the Asian guy" still isn't invited out by the team for drinks or BBQ.
Then when it's "addressed" in season 7, we see remarkably little growth from Tommy, where he's blaming "the environment" and Gerrard for his choices and actions as a grown man. And in season 8, we get a healthy dose of misogyny in ageism with how he speaks of Abby, while casually acknowledging he also screwed up her life.
It's not just that he was afraid to stand up against bigotry in the face of an evil boss. He could've taken Eli's route, and just be silent. But no, Tommy is someone who chose to actively participate in workplace bigotry and bullying, and then almost 20 years removed, shrugs it off as everyone else's fault.
let’s not forget his very recent comments about Abby that were reeking of misogyny. Talking about her dating some “himbo” younger than her (as if he wasn’t actively doing the same thing) and admitting he was lying the whole relationship (not just about his sexuality).
Word for word that man said, “Heard she went a little nuts after that” as if her entire world wasn’t flipped upside down with her engagement ending and having to take care of her sick mother. The only tiny bit of understanding he showed was him saying she deserved better, which duh.
One time when I was five I put a bead in my nose and it went all the way up to the bridge and I had to push down on it from the top until I could get it out because I was scared it would go to my brain and kill me.
That has nothing to do with any of what you said, but I just thought I'd put that out there because you're doing some dumb shit and I wanted you to know we've all done dumb shit. This is a safe space.
Anyway, I don't think you've ever been a closeted queer person who's said and done some at times questionable or outright fucked up things to keep yourself safe from scrutiny.* I grew up seeing people like me getting murdered and heard people explain why it would've been avoidable if they hadn't been so obvious or if they'd just chosen to be normal. I also grew up with a lot of bullies who were only bullying me because it put them in the protected group. It kept them from having people look at whether or not they were actually a good target for bullying. I'm actually friends with a couple of those people now. Not close, but we're cordial and we'll talk when we bump into each other at the store. That has more to do with us being in our thirties and living our own lives. There's a couple who had no excuse whatsoever other than being actual homophobes, I don't talk to them.
I dated in high school, I was engaged but I was 18 so I don't know how much that counts, but then I came out when I was in my early twenties. I knew I wasn't actually interested the entire time I was with those people, either. At first I just thought the relationship wasn't right for me, then I started to realize what was actually going on. I still dated, I still asked someone to marry me because I thought I could be happy with them. I did love and care about them, just not the way you should if you're going to marry them. I also didn't tell anyone I was non-binary until two months ago, even though I figured it out about fifteen years ago. A trans person hiding their identity to protect themselves from danger or rejection is nothing new, but it's kind of a shitty feeling to know you've been lying to every ex you've ever had about something like that. I don't like that feeling, and it's going to take a while for me to shake that. I don't know that I ever will.
So all of that is to say that a character like Tommy is actually kind of important to those of us who also weren't perfect at being queer, especially those of us who grew up during a specific time. I was actually pleasantly surprised that a basic network show would have someone like that, but times they are a-changing. So onto your last point:
Abby Clark is played by a now 57 year old Connie Britton (drop the skincare routine, girl), Lou Ferrigno Jr is 40, and Oliver Stark is 33. When you're an actual grown person, a seven or eight year age difference is kind of nothing. One of you might be a little more ready for things like kids or marriage, but that's not a guarantee. But hearing that your ex started dating a 26 year old when she's about 50, whether or not he knows that she actually pulled Buck's info in a very questionable way (I love that no one going after Tommy ever seems to care about the massive ethical breach from Abby), is kind of...wild. And he presumably heard about this from a mutual friend of some kind, who likely gave him this information colored by their own perception of the situation. This is where critical thinking skills become important. Based on context clues, I can safely guess that Tommy asked someone how Abby was doing or ran into someone who knows her, too, and they said "Hey, did you hear about Abby's new guy?" Otherwise he would've said "I saw that she was dating...." or "She told me she was dating..." So this could've been secondhand bitchiness, it could've been that her behavior was being framed as extremely not okay by someone they knew. We'll never know, the show doesn't have the strongest writing all the time. I'm not touching the thing about her mother, because a very close family member of mine has Alzheimer's, a good friend just lost a parent to it, and I do not want to examine the behavior of a person who's dealing with that or that of the people in their lives.
Could he have said "But I get it, she would've been going through a lot because of her mom and then our breakup"? Yeah. Would it have been nice if they wrote any scenes between Tommy, Hen, and Chimney that bridged the gap between when they weren't close and when they actually celebrated him and his accomplishments when he left the 118 to show why he would be someone Chimney would call on in two major emergencies? Yeah. I think I would've liked to see them talk things out onscreen and to show any apologies. Mostly because it would keep people from dropping an essay in my ask box when I feel like my sinuses and temples are filled with hot needles. I don't actually need to see it other than liking the three of them together, because I figured that they would've shown some hesitation before Chimney would reach out to him or he would've pulled Buck aside to warn him to be careful with Tommy. Or Hen and Karen wouldn't have been so thrilled when they realized what had gone down before Buck and Tommy came into the hospital room. There's a lot of stuff they don't show on this show, but they'd at least make a point to do or not do certain things if a character hated or disliked a character.
*I believe a certain dispatcher even did a whole big speech about this on the very show you apparently watch. I didn't like the Glee part, because I don't like Glee after season one. But the rest of it was good.
#bucktommy#omg am i part of the disc horse now??#I've never had that happen before and I've been in fandoms for ~26 years#oh god a baby born the year i got into fandom can now rent a car and get kicked off their parents' insurance#ahhhh why did i think about that#ed does a rant#ed is also Having A Week#maybe don't bug Ed with this shit idk man I just write fanfic and play board games
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Eish man. This is why I don't obsess over celebrities. I watch something and I'm done I'm not being cultily attached to this DEFINITELY horrible people. Trust me celebrities aren't your friends. They're a lot of times privileged, nepo babies, people who did immoral horrendous stuff to get where thwy are. Or their just soo...bad like. And they know they can get away with being horrible. An example would be all the defenders CRAZED AND AWFUL defenders might I add. Of melanie marrinez. Like it was so bad. Like I just gave up being part of that fandom because of how much they sucked and how people allow mainstream super loved people to get away with this things.
Like the fact alone that someone came up and says ANYTHING OF THAT NATURE SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO SUPPORT THEM. Doesn't matter that the person being blamed is fricking famous...(the melanie stuff hurt me the most. Because, no matter what unless people try to find solid proof. You never know if a celebrity is secretly a horrible person. Just...just don't meer your heroes guys.) I drop any celebrity with allegations because I DON'T KNOW THEM. DON'T DEFEND A CELEBRITY YOU DON'T PERSONALLY KNOW. ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS. I dropped Melanie, I'll drop TBS, and I might drop dylan for like reasons I don't need to explain.
It’s uncanny how similar Trump is acting like Hitler. People are now doing the Nazi salute. They’re drawing the symbol. The KKK was seen in Kentucky asking people to join them. ICE has been ripping families apart. Companies have pulled back Diversity Initiatives. We’re no longer part of WHO and there won’t be any communication from the CDC at least until February 1st. We’re being censored and the news can’t be trusted. Thousands of Americans didn’t know there were protests against Trump yesterday outside the U.S. Quotes from The Handmaid’s Tale and Anne Frank have been compared to what’s going on right now.
According to The Lemkin Institute for Genocide Studies and Prevention the U.S. has officially been given a red flag alert for Genocide.
I’m exhausted but I will never stop being angry.
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Personal view, as someone who grew up in an abusive environment and is hyper-reactive to seeing children in distress or being mistreated by adults, including in fictional depictions, I never felt the kids in Harry Potter were in any danger from Snape. He’s bitchy and snarky, yes. But no more so than other teachers in Hogwarts. And from what I’ve experienced in the fandom, a lot of Snape fans are abuse survivors in some shape or form. He’s a complex character, and unlike a lot of fictional abuse survivors, he can actually be angry and rage. It’s very cathartic for people who have had to mask and suppress their negative emotions in real life.
It's curious how most Severus fans tend to be survivors of bullying or people who see themselves reflected in him because they went through similar experiences in school, or people who have experienced violence at home. Meanwhile, the haters are simply kids who have a terrible teacher and project that onto Snape, so they hate him.
If we're going to play the "I had terrible teachers, so I know how it feels" card, then I can use that too. Not only did I have terrible teachers—so bad that what they did was absolutely reportable and punishable—but in university, I even had professors who LITERALLY made students cry with their critiques. And yes, I’m very angry with those teachers. Even though I wasn’t always a direct victim, thinking about the teachers from my old school fills me with rage. And yes, whenever I’ve run into some of them on the street, I’ve made sure to say something to them in a super passive-aggressive way.
But the thing is, I don’t see any of them in Severus. Not a single one.
Severus has always reminded me of a literature teacher I had in my last years of school. He was a guy who taught classes to make some money while finishing his university doctorate—clearly, his goal was to be a researcher or teach at a university level. And you could tell from a mile away that he HATED having to teach teenagers. But hey, the school paycheck was good, right? I’m not going to blame him for that. The thing is, he had a degree in Philosophy and Literature and had a level way above that of a regular high school teacher.
I remember he was young. At the time, he seemed like an old man to me because when you're 16, anyone over 20 seems ancient, but he probably wasn’t even 35 yet. The thing is, he had no patience for nonsense. He hated childish antics in class, got annoyed by dumb questions, and if he explained something and someone asked the exact same thing two minutes later, he would clearly get irritated. I remember once a kid told him he had just read the latest Dan Brown novel, and this guy, with the most cunty smirk, said, "Well, I wouldn't know about that, Mr. X. I don't read mass-market literature." And it was like… lol why so mean? But I found it hilarious.
He was the only teacher who called us by our last names and never used informal speech, which was shocking to us because it never happened with other teachers. He rarely attended staff meetings or team dinners (a teacher who was actually abusive and spent entire classes physically humiliating 15-year-olds used to complain about that a lot). You almost never saw him interacting with other teachers because, honestly, I’ve always had the feeling that he thought his colleagues were idiots—and I don’t blame him. If I worked with that bunch today, I’d think they were idiots too.
Now, this guy was strict. Very strict. If you got a 4.9, he wasn’t giving you a 5, because you didn’t get a 5. He wasn’t going to be nice to you unless he thought it was strictly necessary. He wasn’t going to be warm, he wasn’t going to be friendly, he wasn’t going to be funny. He despised mainstream literature and bestsellers, believed certain books were absolute garbage, and thought people who only read that kind of stuff didn’t actually understand literature and lacked the braincells for it. You could agree or disagree with him, but his behavior wasn’t abusive.
Was he sometimes too blunt? Did he have incredibly sharp, sometimes unpleasant responses? Yes. And, funnily enough, this teacher was widely disliked precisely because he was one of the strictest ones. He was hated even more than the guy who groped female students or the one who called kids fat, gave them weight-loss tips, and told girls they dressed like prostitutes if they wore certain tops. But those guys used informal speech, gave you a 5 if you got a 4.6, and weren’t that strict, so people didn’t hate them as much.
That’s why Severus always reminded me of this guy. Ironically, I really liked him because I appreciated his sardonic, sharp humor, and he appreciated that I had read One Hundred Years of Solitude at 12 lol. But above all, he liked that, even though I never paid attention in his classes because I physically couldn’t focus on a lecture for more than 10 minutes, I never disrupted anything. I never got caught talking, never caused trouble—I was just drawing my stuff or reading things unrelated to the lesson, but I wasn’t bothering anyone.
And honestly, I think that’s all Severus wanted from his students: for them not to be a pain in his ass. And if he was an even bigger jerk to some, it was precisely because they got on his nerves the most.
The Weasley twins were total chaos and constantly acting like fools, yet they never have a bad word to say about Snape throughout the saga besides that he was kinda mean sometimes. Why is that? Maybe because they didn’t put the whole class in danger? Maybe because, while they were insufferable in the hallways, they knew they had to tone it down in Potions?
Only two people have a real problem with Severus as a teacher throughout the saga: one is Harry, who disrespects him from day one, constantly challenges him, talks back, breaks the rules, and does exactly the opposite of what Severus tells him. The other is Neville, who basically exists to give Severus seven consecutive nervous breakdowns in a single class.
That doesn’t make you an abuser—it makes you an adult who is sick to death of two pain-in-the-ass kids.
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Ridiculously long analysis of Jimmy's dialogue (PART 2)
PART 1 HERE Continuing with the next section,
Mimicking?
The whole ordeal of Jimmy copying Curly's "yeah?" in speech has already been pointed out, but there's something else I wanted to look into. This section is gonna be relatively short but this interaction still sticks with me. It's fairly easy to miss as you can brush it off but given Jimmy often repeats words or phrases from those around him I find it interesting.
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This interaction was so awkward that it has me thinking about it over and over so honestly this may be one big nothing burger and more so headcanon territory but hear me out.
Jimmy gets quiet here as either 1, he expects them all to die on that ship as he said before crashing it or 2, he's terrified of any sort of attention their whole ordeal may get if they survive. The awkward silence is only filled by him commenting on ladies. Daisuke is no stranger to talking about "beach babes" and as Swansea puts it, "thinking with his downstairs long-nose." Honestly, Jimmy is a scumbag and gross around women, but I don't think this is the sort of situation where he cares to be impressing any ladies. This reads to me as him trying to "fit in" with Daisuke in a way. The way he often mimics people and says things they'd relate to defuse situations and get on their good sides feels like a form of masking. I'm no professional, no idea what in specific this would be, but Jimmy strikes me as the kind of guy who finds it really difficult to positively navigate a lot of social situations, especially if he feels uneasy like he was here. This parts super rambly sorry, this is just something interesting about him to me, how he'll latch on to other people's personality traits and mirror them.
Lashing out
We all already know Jimmy's not a very stable guy, very small things irritate him, he has levels to his anger however.
His base line irritation is just little remarks like this, things that you would scratch your head at but they're small so you can't quite bring them up. It's not completely aggressive, but it's definitely not very friendly either
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I won't shove all the same screenshots of him lashing out during the birthday party here, but there he only lashes out in front of everyone else when he's able to make it seem like he's in the right. He insults everyone to their faces, but he's able to pin all the blame on Curly, letting out his anger while also in some sort of way getting people on his "side." Here he's *already* sewing seeds of doubt about Curly into the other's mind, so his little plan to blame Curly for the crash later on only works out all the more in his favor.
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Then there's moments like when he's giving Curly his pills. He isn't exactly yelling, more so going on with his angry, paranoid rambles. This of course is followed by the implication he beats Curly while feeding him his painkillers, physically taking out his anger on someone who can't fight back. Side note, the only times he ever gets physical is when they're in a position of being unable to fight back (drugging Swansea, the implied drugging of Anya, and of course when Curly is left defenseless.)
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I believe this is the first instance of Jimmy actually full on yelling while having one of his tantrums, which is why I say his anger is written in levels. It's not all one flat base of him cussing like a sailor and screaming his head off, remembering this and *what* exactly makes him tick helps me when deciding how I should write him reacting to certain situations. There's other instances where he's clearly panicked and flustered, stuttering and rambling because of high stress situations such as when Daisuke is on the brink of death and it's all his fault, which we'll get to later.
Hopelessness
Something I noticed when going back through everything is Jimmy seems completely and utterly hopeless about everything in his life. It starts out in the cockpit scene, one of the very few times he's genuinely vulnerable.
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This line initially just seems like Jimmy is some power tripping guy who likes being the right hand man to the Captain, which is entirely possible (and true, given how quick he is to assume the Captains role himself), but it leads me to suspect something else as well.
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These are out of order, but I think like this is better demonstrates Jimmy has never really felt the sense of control over his life like he has until he got this gig with Curly. He feels comfortable like this, which is why Curly wanting to "throw it all away" in his eyes baffles him. I really wish the devs gave some insight to what Jimmy's life on Earth was, why *he* ran from it all to assume a position where he felt he was finally in the drivers seat.
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When Jimmy is faced with the reality of what he's done, his first worry is when he gets back home, he'll be caged in the same position he was, back at square one with no control over his life, rotting in a prison. Even if he did get out, as he said, none of it will matter, not with an assault on his permanent record. Maybe he held onto hope that he and Curly would find something new to do, but because he made the choice to force himself on Anya, that'll never happen. His knee jerk reaction to that? Kill himself. Kill himself and take everyone down with him, because if he's not in control, he may as well be dead. "The Tulpar crew was never found."
Remorse
Jimmy isn't entirely uncaring for what he's done. He suffers delusions for each and every one of the people he fucked over, all except Anya. Instead, he sees visions of the child he created, the ever looming reminder of what he did, no matter how hard he tried to block out Anya from his mind, it will always, always haunt him. Him crying to Curly and pleading forgiveness from someone who can't properly give it to him anymore is already a sort of in your face scene, that and the scenes with the horse delusions.
I want to talk about Daisuke and Swansea actually, as he had a much more direct role in their ends. In his mind he can say, oh, Curly ran in and did that to himself, oh, Anya swallowed those pills and did that to herself. It's Daisuke and Swansea who show up more broadly as themselves in his delusions as he was the sole reason for their passing. As Daisuke is dying, he is incredibly distressed the entire time.
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Daisuke being so prominent in his mind has always struck me as interesting, seeing him in the vent, a grave, in the graveyard, all the flowers, the real genuine panic when trying to fix what he did. He never wanted him to die, he obviously feels immense guilt in making him crawl through that vent.
As for Swansea, Swansea can read him like a book, and he lets Jimmy know exactly what he thinks of him before he's shot and killed. He appears in the graveyard with Jimmy, also leaving a lasting impact on Jimmy's psyche.
To say Jimmy feels nothing over what he's done, or that he wouldn't care about people dying or anything like that is wrong on so many levels when the entire last half of the game focuses on him having to literally fight his own demons. It all culminates into him saying he fixed everything, deluding himself into being a hero as some sort of final comfort to his broken mind before he offs himself, "saving" Curly after dismembering him as if that makes up for all his wrongdoings. Jimmy is so layered and interesting and human, and that's what makes him a fantastically written character. It's what allows you to see yourself in him and reflect, see those insecurities he harbors, those toxic traits he exhibits, every little ugly part of him meant to be a mirror to your own actions. Denying him his humanity and making him an emotionless, aggressive, constantly angry person strips him of everything he's meant to be.
Sorry for the huuuuge yapsesh, but I thought going over these would be fun, it also helps me keep my characterization of him as accurate as I can possibly make it. If you have any thoughts let me know!!! I am very very invested in him and I love to hear what others think of him, even if I may agree or disagree.
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Woah, these are really creative and interesting ships! Like in a very good way, ofc, I haven’t seen much on these.
Sooooo….
What’s your thoughts on the trio (Dogday x Simon x Allister), Catnap x Toullie and Poppy x Bunzo?
Dude. Thank you, first of all, for sending this and being genuinely curious. Second of all...
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE. YOU WILL HEAR ME YAP.
1. Poppy and Bunzo! Okay, so at first when I was thinking about them, I was thinking of them as something platonic right? You know the whole deal with kids shows and having an animal companion, namely Dora with Boots, her cousin Diego with that Baby Jaguar, etc. But the more I thought about it the more I took a look at them aaaaand...
Thoughts of Jessica and Roger Rabbit came into my head. All because Poppy and Jessica are redheads. But using that lovely romance as a base, made me think the reason they work together is that Poppy would constantly stress herself out in my opinion. Bunzo however would see this and do what he's known to do, and make her laugh.
He's probably the only one that can tone down her seriousness and help her calm herself because she's busy worrying. It'd be this fun loving prankster that'd teach her how to look at the bright side of things. He makes her laugh, as Jessica would say. But I think Poppy would say that too and genuinely care and appreciate him for it.
And in Bunzo's case he probably did take one look at her and had an awooga moment, but instead of needing to impress her, which probably weirded her out, she just plainly tells him when they do start as friends that he just needs to be himself. And well, I can see it working out.
2. Catnap and Touille! Two tropes: Cat and Rodent. And then.. Yapper and Listener. I blame this guy for making me like it! @smilingcrittersthingig
But more on that, I like to think the part of Touille's character is that he's street smart and knows obscure things the others don't know, hence he's Bubba counterpart in that department, as they're both exceedingly knowledgeable in their own way. But the problem with Touille, like Bubba, tends to go on for a bit too much, that he never gets to talk about the things he likes around them and refrains from it.
But I can see Catnap being not only patient with him, but one of the only people that would actively listen to his rambles because he's heard it from Bubba. Unlike Bubba though, it would be different from what Catnap is used to hearing because it's not something that's brought up every day, especially if it's about your not too typical, obscure thing that can be used in an unconventional way, but still works. Touille has a collection of junk that he treasures in that regard that he doesn't show anyone, but I think he'd show Catnap.
Though I like to also think they started as enemies since they're in different groups, with Touille being a bit scared and attracted to said cat at the same time. But I can see Catnap thinking it's cute that he's scared too. He's a mischievous cat after all, and they like to "play with their food". So while he does scare him from time to time, it's ultimately lighthearted and he loves his little rat boyfriend.
3. THE POLY. LISTEN, I love all three of them. It originally started as SunCross and I still love SunCross a LOT, thanks to this idiot. @smilingcrittersthingig
BUT I FIGURED I'd throw a curveball. The reason being is that of Dogday's nature in comparison to the two Nightmare Critters. My thought process for this is Simon's greedy and selfish nature, compared to Allister who's laid back and lazy. I feel like Dogday would unintentionally get them both attracted to him when he decides to help them both get through their bad habits.
What attracts them is the way he acts. He has to be a leader, but people mistake this as him only being nice, but that's not the case. He's firm, he's to the point, and has to look out for everyone in the Smiling Critters as the Everyman, meaning he acts more serious than friendly. He's respectful, not friendly, but has a big friendly side. That soft side of his that helps the two slowly improve is what attracts them to him. And on top of that, it's how they treat Dogday that really puts the poor doggo in a chokehold.
Simon would proudly take him wherever he wants to go, buy him whatever he wants, and make it clear to everyone that this is his boyfriend with no shame, showing his love through material appreciation, but still meaning every word he says along with it, because what's the point of money if the one thing you want isn't made of money? At that point, it's something to be used to make that person happy. Although Dogday says money isn't everything, Simon at least thinks money can be used for something.. and if it can be used to make Dogday his, then he will do it. And upon him seeing him using his money for someone else other than himself would really make him appreciate it..
Allister meanwhile had a problem with his lack of effort and motivation, but I like to think a date would be where he tries to put everything he can into it, even if it's not much. He doesn't like all the attention, would pick a location just for him and Dogday to be alone. He'd prepare everything with a little help from say Bobby and/or Rabie to see what he likes, and would even get him a gift. And even though it's not much, he tried. The effort is there, and the doggo would wholeheartedly appreciate it. Although he didn't do much, he's trying. Dogday sees that and ends up just blushing hard.
So when it comes to choosing between Simon and Allister, he hits them with the "I choose both" and lets him hear him out on it, explaining that he can't imagine his life without either of them, because the two also taught him how to be himself, take breaks and relax, and share the obscure things he likes and knows how to do that he didn't get to show with the Smiling Critters.
And overtime, his love of the two would rub off on them and see the merits in the others (opposites attract yay!), with the three becoming a polycule. As a friend did say..
Simon with his two trophy boyfriends, Allister with the two people that he thinks are way too good for him, and Dogday with the two people that he helped improve, but helped improve him too.
#poppy playtime#sabre speaks#smiling critters#nightmare critters#ships#rainynight#catnap x touille#sunscales#dogday x allister gator x simon smoke#partyflowers#poppy x bunzo#poppy#bunzo bunny#dogday#allister gator#simon smoke#touille#catnap
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Some charges my aunties and uncles carried well into the 90s without pardon or exonneration of any kind:
Substance possession, esp weed, ecstasy, cocaine/crack, meth, etc
Cross-dressing (aka wearing more than the allowed number of "opposite sex clothing items, including undergarments that were not visible)
Solicitacion/suspicion of prostitution (the latter is the charge a trans auntie got for carrying condoms on her to a partner's house, the former charge was both accurate and forced on partners across multiple people in my life)
Vagrancy (got outed during a cruising bust and was evicted/blacklisted from all affordable rentals)
Sexual assault/attempted murder (an HIV + trans adult getting trans panicked)
Public indecency (cruising)
Sexual misconduct in the presence of a minor (had sex in their home while a child was present in the household but not in the room)
This is a non-exhaustive list. Many people I loved who lived queerly through the 1950s-1990s had multiple charges in their past. Few had none.
The goal is to criminalize every path to existence we have, and there is a reason that approach is scary and effective.
It also is absolutely not the all powerful steamrolling force people (on borh sides of the conflict) pretend it is.
I grew up in a thriving community of dykes, faggots, queers, drag queens/kings, intersex folks, and trans people. There were enough of us, even in 1998, to fill a 300 person hall for an AIDS memorial during pesach one year, just in the valley. We lived, we loved, we raised children and families, and we waged a background war for our fucking lives.
It is happening again and for many that will be terrifying. I will not lie to you and tell you not to be afraid or that we will suffer no losses. That 300person hall also had near on 150 empty chairs for the dead that year. But I need people to understand that waging the war only feels scary and overwhelming A) in the beginning when you are not yet sure how to fight, and B) when you are alone, overwhelmed, and feeling helpless in the face of a pressing threat. The rest of the time, you will find that the process of learning effective solidarity and resistance is way faster than you think.
I called my mother on Valentine's day and we talked a bit about what it's like as two queer people across generations, to be back here where we were together in my early childhood, and how my mother feels seeing these conversation return after she got nearly a decade of peace and retirement from activism because she believed it was time to pass the torch. She reminded me of a story she used to tell me when I was little
Mom worked for IBM on some major contracts, and she would sometimes find herself out back with the other engineers for a smoke break. Once, a man started talking about the news updates on AIDS: it was spreading amongst not just IV drug users and queers, but amongst heterosexual middle class folks who had never used or swung or sold or anything. At first the conversation is empathetic to the sick, and mom lets her guard down.
"And then he says "but now it's infecting people who don't deserve it. They called it the Gay Plague back then, you know? And I don't know what happened, but the next thing I remember I'd thrown my cigarette in his face, backed him against a wall, and was snarling "NO ONE has EVER deserved this" and you know. He never said anything like that around me again. I don't know if he changed his mind, but from that moment on, he knew that we were in the room with him, and that was enough to get him to keep his fucking mouth shut. The reason they want us scared is because they want to be able to pretend we're never in the room with them. They want to be able to count on our silence, on our cowering and hiding in self preservation. And I don't blame anyone who gives that because we're surviving here, that's not my place to decide for you. But that was the day I learned that I will NEVER allow them to pretend I'm not in the room again."
Criminalization is a form of liminal expulsion of the undesireable from the shared social perception/narrative. If they can imprison us for our basic existence, they can remove us from the room or make it more likely we hide in the shadows. But this is what we mean when we say that they cannot kill us in any way that matters. Every loss, every death matters, but so does every life lived in silence and shadow. And I cannot emphasize enough how many more of the latter there have been in the world.
So if they want to kill us, we will fill their world with the utopia of the love we find in the dark. If they want to banish us we will live out loud until even they can't escape us. If they want to erase our history, I will personally scream it from every rooftop I have access to.
Liminality is a weapon against us, but it has also always been ours more than it is theirs. We make it, breathe it, and change it with our very being. Never forget that you are the culmination of generations of love, life, and survival. We have seen enough attempts at genocide in the world now to know that the meaning of our lives is not what they make it possible to do to us but what we create to stop them.
If they do start rounding queers up it won’t be with the gestapo, but the police, and the crime won’t be written down as being queer, but public indecency, the indecency being queer in public, but that’s the quiet part no one will say out loud.
#i believe in us truly#i feel afraid a lot these days but i also know what to do about it#i am lucky to have grown up with this knowledge and know many lack it#but please talk to the older members of out community (NOT 30/40 yr olds like me on tumblr#fucking people in their 80s who were there in 65 in 72 in 53#TALK TO THEM#they are still here and they have so much of value to give you
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like for me i think it's interesting that rook and the inquisitor get two very different versions of solas and i dont think its really fair to blame it all on bad writing. we already know solas is callous and cold towards people he considers his enemies but i don't think people really appreciate how you only really get a taste of that part of him in inquisition. for one solas is COMICALLY easy to befriend in inquisition like part of me feels like we forgot how quickly you can get him to high approval. you literally have to go out of your to make solas dislike you because he literally just approves of you simply talking to him so i mean regardless of your character i think the underlying fact remains that the solas you meet in inquisition is far warmer and polite and friendly, and i think it's because it's so difficult to make him dislike you that people kind of forget that this particular aspect of him is still mostly a mask
so i actually kind of enjoyed getting to see more of his calculated and manipulative side. i mean not just because it's a brand new perspective of his but also i actually think this is another mask. to the inquisitor he was the wise old hermit who was completely uninvolved with the events happening and only guided you out of pure altruism. to rook he is The Dread Wolf. the sneaky trickster god who tempts and manipulates you and whos motivated purely by selfish pride. yeah he gets really fucking hammy with it dont get me wrong LOL and i do believe a lot of it can be attributed to a fundamentally poor interpretation of the character but at the same time i do genuinely think that a large portion of it is specifically because solas has made the active decision to present himself this way to rook. i mean varric all but outright says it's another persona made so solas can reconcile his actions in the present. like i think really the biggest sin of this whole thing is just how little we get of solas himself in the grand scheme of things so the way he's written comes across as weirdly shallow
#idk. again just talking out loud#(<- she is stalling having to redownload all her origins mods)#meta#datv critical#ok well not really this time im actually being a little charitable but just in case
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