#like i don’t think it’s problematic or anything lmaoooo it’s just not fun to read either

[dashiellqvverty]

started guards! guards! (the first discworld book i have tried) after waiting like 3 MONTHS for the audiobook on libby and i am just not feeling it 😭😭 i like terry pratchetfs writing and there are parts i am having fun with, and i think i am interested in the city watch books in general from what i’ve heard about them, and ofc this is the first one and also came up a bunch as a good place to start discworld overall but i am just. simply not feeling it :((

[zue-zue-jean]

Body shapes in lore olympus

So the longer I read LO the more the same face syndrome is really starting to kill me, but more than that- the body shapes are so generic and so similar its painful sometimes, specifically chapters with multiple female characters in them. So I wanted to tweak a few tings and give a few thoughts on why I made certain designs the way I did. (ages included)

So Left to right

Athena! My favorite goddess of wisdom! Now I’ll admit I’m actually not that mad about her design, I dig the short hair and shiny silver skin, it just MAKES SENSE. However do I wish RS portrayed her a bit more fem? yes. Especially with the latest update I feel it’s often pushed on WLW relationships that there’s a more masculine woman, and theres nothing wrong with that, I just think it would be a fun and more groundbreaking to have two fem woman in a relationship. (but not as groundbreaking as having 2/3 of the maiden goddesses in a relationship together????what????whatever...) But do I think her body type is what makes her more fem? yes and no??? I don’t think it really matters honestly, the only thing I dislike is how similarly shape she is to Hades...

Persephone is up next! Now my main goal was to not make her proportions out of wack. A lot chapters have Persephone with such a snatched waist and busty torso it’s just a bit overwhelming. I did debate making her less busty considering she's obviously sexualized considering how young she is :/ But bottom line is woman shouldn't be sexualized strictly because of their breast size. So yes, busty Persephone is here to stay, but with some proportion check. I just wished she wasn't so sexualized considering her young age...so Instead of 20, she's 700 in my version! haha! still young, but not a literally BABY

Artemis- Artemis was so easy for me to redesign, I wanted her to still have a “womanly” figure but she's a protector of YOUNG girls, so I wanted her design to reflect the protection over the youth with youthful like proportions. With her being goddess of the hunt she's gotta be quick and agile, so I figured long legs would show this. 

Hera Hera Hera Hera, one of my favorites. One of my favorite chapters was when Hera explained how her life was like before her and zeus were together, how she ran and loved being with he earth, I wanted strong legs to show this running untamable spirit and I know she's the goddess of marriage, family, and child birth. So wide set hips with strong powerful legs seemed like an obvious to me. 

Aphrodite...This one was tough but I’m glad with what I went with. Aphrodite being the goddess of beauty is such a tricky thing to design, how to reflect beauty when everyone is beautiful with such varying body types? So i decided to do a 180 than what is typically done. I gave her the most neutral body type. no extreme curves, an average hight. Love is often tied with romance and romance is often sexual so people are quick to give her a “sexual” body type (can bodies even be sexual???) none of that extreme hourglass figure in this house. Love is also platonic and familia, so to represent how versatile love is I wanted a blank space to represent her body type. I hope my point got across but let me explain something that made me hesitate about this design-

Aphrodite VS Persephone 

It’s made quite clear that it’s a big deal about how beautiful persephone is compared to Aphrodite. Aphrodite even gets jealous of this beauty. I was scared giving Persephone and Aphrodite such drastically different body types where persephone is framed to be the more beautiful one was problematic and can make girls with this more neutral body type feel bad and thats not what I want AT ALL! The thing that kept me with Aphrodite’s design is because bottom line is she is beautiful. SOOO if her body type and persephone are in the same “level” of beauty and are both beautiful it helps to show that varying types of body are beautiful. It doesn't matter about the context of where the body is! 

Hestia, I actually really love Hestia’s design as is, Being the goddess of hospitably and warm, soft, comforting body just made sense- I really just wanted to include her as a comparison of height! 

The last body there is Hades lmaoooo (excuse my clumsy male proportion) . I wanted to toss in a dude to show how I would do height, I am so over seeing the woman in this comic be to the dude’s mid (giant) chest or shorter. It’s just such a weird look and some panels of Persephone and Hades are a bit extreme and add onto her being a CHILD (20 years compared to 2000+ is a lot) I still have a noticeable hight difference in my design but she’s to his shoulders, not his stomach. 

I don’t know, maybe I was extreme for slapping together a 5 minute sketch and going into detail about WHY I did what I did but I’m genuinely curious if anyone else is tired of the lack of diversity and how almost all females have the same body and same with the males? Is there anything in my post you absolutely love or absolutely loathe? Let me know! 

[noheroes-allowed]

hello. my happiness lately has been dictated by social interaction. which is problematic for when break comes and I’m fucking lonely with blood in my mouth. and also when next semester comes and I’m stressing about prelims once again. but I’m happy today. sad when it ended so abruptly. literally started sweating so much when I was at work. and keith texted me and said so that means you’re coming. and I was like fuck. um am I going? i really didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of him. (does it matter.) but I also wanted to see him. so I was as aforementioned sweating. I messaged xavier bc I wanted to know if they were doing anything before/after but he didn’t reply after like an hour. and I needed to know if I should like call off work to hang. so I texted keith and he said probably not. but then literally a minute before I had to go to work xavier was like oh do you wanna do something? and at that point half of me didn’t want to. bc like I looked like a mess. my hair was gross. and I was already on my way to work. so. but then literally in the span of thirty seconds. he was like let’s get bubble tea. I’m gonna ask keith. keith said yes. we’re getting bubble tea. and I was like oh. ok that was really fast. and then I literally got to work and asked to leave early lmaoooo

but it was really fun. i’m happy it happened. keith is really smiley. everyone kept looking at me when there was a pause. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH. I wanna know more about him. akfksjfjskfnfsjkfskdjdjsjf. we ran into my TA lmao. and I tried to get a table for us but it didn’t work. we should’ve gone to wings and I can only blame myself but damn it damn it damn it. I should’ve thought it through. we talked about my concerts. and her sorority. and their overlapping circles. and boats. and knots. and boy scouts. and the first time I got drunk. which is not a funny story like wtf why did I divulge. and umd. and fysa. keith was waitlisted. davidson or william and mary. and about jenny LMAO. keith’s sister lived in jam. the only thing I didn’t like about jam was being in a triple. she didn’t like it being closed off. and private schools. and morning tv news and school closures. keith’s school only had like 50 per class. and he went there since kindergarten. he’s such a good boy. and studious. I’m not a good storyteller. keith kept asking me questions. they wanted to know what I was like in middle school and high school. also we talked about linkedin. and marching band. and trespassing. ahhhhhhhhhhh. “just like ashley”

I texted him after bc I wanna hang out again. bc BITCH now it’s my turn to learn about you!!! hello this is only fair. except it’s not really bc I have to wait months to know. if I ever get to know. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. also it was so sad when it ended bc it was so abrupt. and the last thing that was said was when keith asked how did you guys decide to be friends again here. and we didn’t get to say :( on the bus ride back they were like we should throw a rave at lucy’s place next sem. rave at ravenwood. see her plastered. rent a party bus and just show up at her house. have the new member social there. xavier asked if we’re going to secon. keith said what if there was a concert in boston. I would definitely go then.

anyway he said adios. he probably did not do that on purpose but it reminds me. of that time he signed off an email without adios. and I was like oh no adios this time. and then he sent one back just to me with adios. also now I’m even more curious about him. like what. I feel like there’s a whole other person in him that I don’t know at all. which is intriguing and fun and cool. idk man. idk. lowkey upset. highkey happy it happened at all. lowkey mad at myself. highkey so giddy about him.

who TF brought up love triangles huh. whomst??? I wanna know about his crushes. can he have a crush on me pls. can we get drunk together pls. liquid courage 2020. I don’t think he realizes how nice he is. and how it can read off as more than it actually is. bc he’s just so nice. like at that point where can you tell when he likes someone. huh. I feel like he treats everyone so fucking nicely. how does he even treat someone he’s interested in? does this man flirt? I wouldn’t know

[sixmorningsafter]

How Gabi Ruined Me: A SMA Review of Ch. 15

GUESS WHO’S BACK AND READY TO REVIEW THE EFF OUT OF THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE OMG THIS IS STRAIGHT GOLD.

It’s me, hi Gabi, you’re a blessing.

REPLY:

Hi Cassie, it’s me, you’re hysterical. Also, I’m going to start indenting my parts instead of y’alls parts because I’ve realized that’s way easier and I’m dumb.

Overall, I really like this “episode” style you’ve got going on. I know it’s problematic word-count-wise (it’s actually not a problem at all, I have no idea where you got that from, but if you say so). And your style is really unique, so it’s always a delight to see what you’ve created.

REPLY:

lmaoooo I’m glad you benefit from my misery. (No but real talk, this format’s new for me so I’m super happy it’s working for you, man.)

Steroline Sex

Nice. But also, unrelated to the actual sex, how you wrote it without being cringey or too graphic is a great feat. Like good job dude. And forget the sex again, but the intimacy was also nice. Like nice. Like, in the carnality of it, I find it interesting that in this moment, you read Stefan for who he is—the guy who looks for intimacy over physicality, the guy who craves the relational over the carnal. Like, nice, dude, A+ with extra credit. It’s hard to pull off, I think, but it so mirrors what the real world is like? Also your writing style, again, is some really great stuff. Like, maybe you should quit your day job?

REPLY:

LMAO idk why but every time you say nice I just imagine you doing this dude bro nod and the 👌  emoji and I love it. Tyler approves. But also, GIRL, writing smut was friggin’ uncharted adventure time for me so you don’t even know how happy this feedback makes me. I’ve been pulled right out of stories before because things suddenly take a really porny turn (and I start laughing because I’m an infant), so I really wanted to avoid that without skimping out too much on details. And gah, all of your notes on Stefan and his instinctive search for something deeper (even in the face of a sex contract and hot girl on his lap) are so perfect, and I’m happy as hell that’s what came across because that’s definitely what I was aiming for. And AW, girl, psh - right back at you re: writing style! Like I’m pretty sure this review is funnier and better written than the fic itself but whaaaaatever.

Beginning of the Bonkaimon (is this the right ship name???) Date

Kai’s apartment: lol, much like Damon, I was no expecting this Christmas wonderland (horror) either. But also, LOL at what Damon was expecting lol.

REPLY:

lololol I sat in Starbucks and stared blankly into space for like 20 minutes to come up with all the things someone might expect from Kai’s apartment, and I’m pretty sure I terrified at least three people because I’d just suddenly start villain cackling. Imagining a room full of nothing but shelves of blinking furbies made me laugh for like five minutes. 

Kai + Pinterest: not a big factor, but I find it hilarious that he was even on it??? Like could imagine, between gutting a swan, he’s casually scrolling through DIY Christmas décor?

REPLY:

‘between gutting a swan, he enjoys casually scrolling through DIY Christmas décor’ is totally on his online dating profile somewhere

The Bamon back-and-forth is too much. Like way too much, in the best way possible. They are literally children. Bonnie’s “villian origin story” quip is literally my fav. Damon’s “our thing” is sooooooooooooo like him what the heck, you pegged it; Damon saying “Like I know we have a thing and all, but—“ just made me laugh so hard.

REPLY:

Aren’t they the dumbest? So happy you enjoyed that part because it was fun as hell to write. If writing was just zippy dialogue I’d have finished this fic 200 years ago.

KAI’S FREAK OUT ABOUT THE COATS: dude you did a good job with that. Like a really good job. You can really see the distraught.

Kai’s “the stuffed mushrooms are fluffy and delicious… just like me” bit was very cute, like too cute for a psychopath.

The chit-chat: yes, it was a sneak peek, no, it didn’t affect the hilarity of it within the chapter at all.

Sniper love, I kind of love it. Like that Kai has a date at all? Like how did he even manage that? Omg and is his date just as crazy as him? Idk if you watch B99, but Holt and Kevin lol, that’s what I’m imagining.

REPLY:

HOLT AND KEVIN YEEEESSS. Love that. I think in this case, Kai’s pretending to be breezy and confident about his date in front of Bonnie and Damon, like ‘happens all the time just another Saturday in Kai-town’, but he actually has literally no idea what he’s doing and is a little panicky about it, lololol. He was probably just at work looking all cute and brilliant and some hotshot sniper made the mistake of thinking he was just a quirky nerd instead of a legitimate threat to the planet. I have a plan for Kai in terms of romantic entanglements down the road that I think’ll show just how painfully awkward he is in those situations, loooool. Should be fun for sure.  

Bonnie’s true self coming through, and Damon noticing? Damon noticing in general? My heart can’t handle it. You know bamon is my main ship, main otp, main everything? But like, this part is everything (and another part later). I like Bonnie’s true self tbh. Like yeah, she made some mistakes with it, but it’s also a little more interesting than the self she created.

REPLY:

Bonnie’s such a messy tangle of flaws and virtues, and I think her problem is that she’s spent so much of her life living in extremes. Like she’s either pure light or a total eclipse - she’s never actually let herself exist as a collage of light and shadow, or rather, doesn’t realize she even can. I think a lot of that has to do with the degree to which she indulged in her darkness during that teen rebel phase, like her anger and hurt were so all-consuming (and the people she surrounded herself with were so intent on stoking the flames of it) that she feels like she can’t let any part of that in without it taking over. She’s afraid of that darkness being all that she really is, and that’s why her mom left, that’s why her dad was a checked out alcoholic - they somehow saw that in her and it’s only a matter of time before everyone else does, too. I think where Damon comes to play is that he’s an instinctive observer of people, and he’s obviously taken an interest in Bonnie and making sense of her. So far, he’s picked up on the light (brave, empathetic, optimistic, kind, a fierce instinct to help) and he’s picked up on the dark (angry, self-sabotaging, competitive, a taste for danger) and at first glance, the two seem so wildly different that he’s like ‘which one’s real’. But I think what I’m really trying to build toward with Bonnie is that she’s not one or the other, she’s both. In harmony. And that ultimately, letting in her ‘dark side’ wouldn’t take anything away from her compassion and optimism and impassioned drive to make the world a better place - if anything, it’d just make her light side shine even brighter, you know? 

And likewise, Damon’s a character with a similar but inverted complex - he’s somehow grown up with the idea that he’s not a good guy and doesn’t care about anything, but he’s actually done some pretty heroic shit? Like, he turned in his own parents because of the things they were doing to people - parents who grown ass hardened criminals were terrified of. And he was ten. He went through foster home after foster home of neglect and abuse, all of which calcified his alleged numbness to the world, and yet couldn’t help himself from becoming a constant buffer between Tyler and his abusive dad. He was more in love with Katherine than she ever was with him and yet his awareness of that never stopped him from being there for her, even when he kind of hated her, because the weight of their shitty lives mattered more than the weight of his feelings. When he accidentally pushed Bonnie into a spiral, he dove in to deal with it, in large part because it was his fault, but also because he knew he was the best option for her, and he didn’t want to see Caroline and Stefan take that on. And there’s more hero-revealing things ahead for him in the story, which kind of begs the question, ‘why are you so convinced you’re this hedonist who doesn’t care when you actually do more good than a lot of people who do care?’ And Bonnie is absolutely starting to piece this all together, so it’s a similar dynamic on either side.  Anyway, that’s my dissertation on how to go into an entirely unsolicited rambling meta in response to wonderful and pertinent feedback. 

Kai’s “you two must have a crazy sex life”, I think it’s funny ‘cause he could have left it at that and gotten away with it, but continuing with details just killed those chances (and it also killed me).

REPLY:

looool right? Kai’s one of those characters that’s always right on the cusp of having a normal moment and then nope, never mind, hail mary throw to loony land right at the last second. 

Caroline’s Freakout

I love how chaotic you write Caroline’s internal struggle. Because, like she realizes, she’s being irrational, and that’s exactly how her thoughts come across. Excellent work with that. “Everything about him was a goddamn error,” superb line, dude. That’s how exactly how I pegged the sma Steroline relationship (and the sma Bamon one, but on the side of Bonnie being the error anomaly to Damon). Like, honestly, when Caroline’s like “he’d known what he was doing”, I’m like,” y’all were having sex? You must’ve looked like you were liking it???” Caroline frustrates me sometimes, but like, she’s frustrating herself (and Stefan), so that makes sense and also kudos.

And then she lashes out at Stefan, and Stefan’s like, “I know”. Yikes.com. And I like how she realizes the physicality of what they did isn’t much different from what she and other guys did. It’s just him that’s different. And oh man, I love how Stefan’s like, “I didn’t mean to hurt you”, and she’s like “dude wait stop you’re not supposed to apologize for this”.

So many emotions dude. Mainly ‘cause I can relate to avoidance thing (yikes), but also ‘cause you can tell she’s trying to figure herself out, trying to correct her behavior (kinda), but then she reverts. A+.

REPLY:

Gaaah, all of that makes me so happy because that’s exactly what I was going for. You’re frustrated with her, but you know you’re supposed to be frustrated with her ‘cause even she’s frustrated with herself, you know? I’ve always found that I’m really forgiving of flawed characters when they’re aware of their flaws (and when other people are allowed to get fed up with their shit), so going into that scene, that’s what I tried to keep in mind - she’s going to be irrational and defensive and I need to make sure everyone knows that I know that this isn’t cool. It isn’t intriguing or exciting. It’s frustrating and repetitive and I know it, Caroline knows it, and Stefan knows it, and because of that, it’ll be confronted, you know? And yeah, that ‘he knew what he was doing’ line was exactly for that reason - Caroline clearly played a role in what happened, like it takes two to tango gurl, so I hoped that would hammer in how unreliable her narration was in that second. That, and the fact that when he starts apologizing, like you said, she’s like ‘stop’ because obviously he really didn’t do anything that bad and she knows that. Super, super stoked that the scene played out for you the way it did, man. Best feedback ever. Eloquent af. A+ goes to you.

Bamon’s first trip to Wine Cellar

Touching + promixity + commentary = horny Bonnie + smug Damon + heaps of hilarity

REPLY:

They’re like X-rated toddlers.

“You’ve been in love?” conversation was really good. I mean it was short, but I loved it. Like, called out much?

REPLY:

I literally had no idea I was going to write that until it just showed up on the word doc, but it ended up being one of my fave exchanges, so I’m so happy you liked it, too!

And then the “earthworm” argument: LOL.

“Like your entire face is rebelling against it—you look like you’re about to have a stroke.” LOLOLOLOLOLOL. What’s even funnier is I imagine Damon coming back with a doctor comment lol.

REPLY:

‘Uh-oh, better give me a full physical.’

The kiss/attack. Kai’s probably right, their sex life is will probably be crazy.

REPLY:

Definitely won’t get bored.

Bonnie’s flashback. Gotta know more dude. Like, in theory, you wrote it out a bit, but more more more.

REPLY:

More ahead! I have an ask about it that I’m going to answer but more’s coming in the actual fic, too. I think. So excited you want to know more, though!

“Merriam Webster” lol

OKAY HERE’S THE OTHER LIFE-GIVING PART: “Are you worried about me?” and “She turned around to leave and he caught her wrist again./’Seriously. Anything at all.’” YOU’RE MURDERING ME GABI HOW DARE YOU (please keep it coming).

Jesus Crisco lololololololol

REPLY: 

:D

Soon-to-Be Ms. Cuddles

It’s kind of scary how much of myself I see in Caroline lol (that’s kind of fucked up right?) especially when her eyes are shut because the cat is near her omg.

REPLY:

lmaoooo a little scary but she turns out alright so *bonnie voice* there’s hope for you.

My heart at “none of it was worth it”. At first, I was like Caroline’s not worth it? But then he’s like Caroline’s fear/hurt isn’t worth it, and I’m like, Stefan you IDIOT STOP HURTING ME.

REPLY:

LMAO ISN’T HE THE WORST.

And then him realizing what the real issue is with “Like maybe that contract hadn’t just been for him”.

But then him fucking it up with “something stupidly, recklessly hopeful”. BOY BYE WITH THIS DISNEY PRINCE-NESS.

REPLY:

Disney Prince-tervention. 8 o’ clock. Scott McCall can come too.

“It means is there anything on the planet you don’t avoid dealing with?” YIKES STEFAN DO YOU LIKE PLAYING WITH YOUR LIFE LIKE THIS OR

REPLY:

LOLOLOL I laughed when I wrote that line. I was like eating Smart Pop and going ‘BOY’ as if I wasn’t the one writing it, it was all super sane.

Avoiding!Caroline #relatable dude.

“Easy to mistake for serial killers” LOL STEFAN AGAIN ARE YOU READY TO DIE OR

REPLY:

Danger Zone Stefan.

The part with the cat coming near her, lol, is so damsel-in-distress, and it makes me laugh so much at how cliched/tropey this is, but I also love it, and I tried to imagine her with either Bonnie or Damon in the same situation, and Bonnie being similar to Stefan but taking her out of her misery, but Damon being a shithead about it. Ah yes.

REPLY:

LMAO that scene is pure, unadulterated, damsel-ly TROPENESS and I love forcing Caroline I’m a Force to be Reckoned With and Need No One Forbes into those scenes because she tries so hard not to be that way and like, for what? Girl, be afraid of the dark. Run away from cats. Be jumpy and hide behind people. None of that means you can’t singlehandedly take down the Emory football administration, you know? You can run away from spider-rat hybrids in the same stilettos you slam into the toes of drunk dudes harassing girls on the subway. Do you. And LOOOL to Bonnie and Damon in Stefan’s place - Bonnie would definitely let it go but would be subtly trolly about it, like putting the cat on her bed when she’s in the shower or buying it a bunch of costumes to wear around the apartment. Damon would probs be every inch as insufferable as you’d imagine. 

The Not-All-Animals conversation. You don’t have to answer this, but is this supposed to be a foreshadowing, because the window was wide open for you (or Stefan) to state it clearly. And lol I cried when he says “there’s a cuddly little fur ball who seems really interested in getting to know you” and I’m imagining him talking about himself *dies of laughter*

“You’re going to love this cat”. Subtle, Stefan. Subtle.

REPLY:

CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM CALLING HIMSELF A CUDDLE LITTLE FUR BALL ON PURPOSE #BYE. I mean, it’s true, but still. I did the parallel on purpose, which I’m sure you know by now because I take forever to reply and have answered tat a few times, but I think it was more subconscious on Stefan’s part. Like his dedication to getting her to open up to the cat was definitely motivated by his own frustrations with her in that department, but I don’t think he saw the direct parallel or anything. Muahaha. I kind of want him to now though because CUDDLY LITTLE FUR BALL. That’s his street name. 

Bonkai/Damon’s return from the cellar

Kai flirting

Bonnie feeling bad for Kai for not having any friends. (can I just note that Kai doesn’t seem bothered that he doesn’t really have friends—or rather, he seems the type not to mind it. Like I’m sure there’ll be a part when Kai says something ‘jeez Bon, stop being so obsessed with me’ when she tries to be his friend)

AKA ME now feeling bad for Kai, just in general (or that might be the copious amounts of Bonkai fics I’ve been reading recently…)

Bonnie teaching Kai to “flirt” AKA just be a human being

REPLY:

lololol Kai’s just a dude doing his best impersonation of humaning and failing miserably and not being too bothered about it.

“Maybe a little less… carnivorous” lol

Damon calling Kai “bud” (like, him actually picking up on the fact Kai enjoyed that). Too sweet.

REPLY:

I didn’t get a chance to get too into it in 15, but if all goes according to plan, Kai x Damon should be a pretty unexpectedly adorable brotp, so I’m super happy you picked up on that!

Bamon kiss #3 : “his stare was dark, humming, glinting with a hint of self-satisfaction” hehehehehe

“but I feel like maybe I should’ve asked you instead. Cool move.” lmfao Kai is a cutie pie (I know what I said, I’m not taking it back).

“Honestly, he could go back to the murder cellar now” lolololol. You’ve got a lot of golden lines in this one.

Almost Bamon kiss #4: nice

“She exhaled slowly, trying to ignore the buried, messy part of her that was turned on by the idea, that buzzed from the risk of it all.” Same, Bon.

Bless Bonnie’s insane self-control.

REPLY:

Damon’s a smug little shit. There’s just no getting around it, tbh. And YAY for cutie pie Kai (it even rhymes! Destiny.) - definitely trying to hone in on the more delightful sides of him from canon. And lmao, Bonnie must be so tired.

 Caroline vs. the Cat

Obsessive Caroline is something familiar and safe to all. I like obsessive Caroline a lot lol.

Okay, unrelated, but can you expand a little bit on the Maroline situation again because, from what you’ve already explained (sorry if this is ruining the story, you obviously don’t have to explain if it is) Matt was sweet when it suited him, not sweet when he was angry or whatever. So, like, Stefan has none of these telltale features, like not even lowkey. I mean, he gets mad at her that one time, but it’s not malicious, you know? But it also triggered her to breakdown, but I read that as she’s already dealing with internal shit, so the internal is being external, and has very little to do with Stefan. So, I guess my question is, why is she not realizing Stefan is a Disney prince and he’ll always be one? Or is it just the overwhelming fear that’s clouding her judgement? I’m rambling.

REPLY:

GIRL, join the club. Rambling is a way of life. Re: Matt, I think a key thing I haven’t gotten to in the fic yet is that Matt started off as a bit of a Disney Prince, too. He was this humble, small-town star quarterback who was a little shy around girls and didn’t know what to do with all the attention on him, and when he met/got to know Caroline, he fell hard. Like haaaard. She was this confident, brash, outgoing ray of light that drew him in and made him laugh and added so much joy to his life, and he was just totally smitten. Built her things, wrote her crappy love letters that made her smile, etc., and for a year or so, they were this fairytale of a couple that everyone in town loved. And then Vicky got into drugs and his family situation went from not great to really bad - his mom was constantly off with some new guy, so a lot of the responsibility fell on him - and things just slowly started changing. He was angrier. Stressed out all the time, and he wasn’t someone who did well under pressure. He started checking out from school more and more because he didn’t see it as a priority. And in that context, larger-than-life Caroline with her sunny optimism and big ambitions went from endearing and inspiring to naive and a lowkey reminder of everything he didn’t have the luxury of being. Resentment started creeping in, and it’d come in the form of him being snide or putting her down, and it just kind of spiraled from there. Like you said, it wasn’t all the time, he could still be every inch as sweet and loving as he was when she first met him, but the bad moments started cropping up more and more often, and Caroline was just kind of frozen because they had years of magical history to indicate that this wasn’t the real him, and she just needed to wait it out and be supportive. And if she’d only done that to a certain degree, I think she would’ve been okay, but she stayed for way, way longer than she ever thought she would’ve. And she started coming up with insane ways to justify everything because their relationship meant so much to her. And all in all, that’s the real damage for her - the fact that she can’t trust herself to one: see people for they are when she has feelings for them, and two: know when to get out of something. Not when she’s in love. Any other context, sure, deuces, bye, but she doesn’t trust herself in love. So that’s why Stefan, without really showing any real Matt-like flaws, is scaring the hell out of her, if that makes any sense.

SPEAKING OF RAMBLING HI HELLO YES WHERE IS THE SUPPORT GROUP 

Caroline and the cat is really cute. We don’t see many soft moments of Caroline, except the baroline apology scene, so it’s cute to see her just calm down a little bit. Calm in the storm.

And her being like “You’re lucky Stefan’s here.” Oh, dude, that really got me. Like, before she goes into the physicality of him/them, I read that line as like, “he’ll take care of you, he’ll be good for you” and that struck me.

REPLY:

So happy you liked that softer side of Caroline! Definitely going to be seeing more of that now that she’s gotten most of the defensiveness out of her system (in large part because I’m just tired of writing it, lmaaaaaoooooo #authoroftheyear). And yeah, that’s exactly how she meant that line, which I think shows just how much her opinion has changed of him over these past few days. Progress!

“And it was terrifying, because for that brief glitter of a moment, for better or for worse, she’d been Caroline Forbes in all her complete, defenseless, messy glory”: nice.

REPLY:

👌

“And closed hearts, apparently”, awwwwwwww. You know my general feels about steroline, but this fic, man. Well played, Gabi, well played.

REPLY:

lmao you know mine too. thanks, boo. 

Bamon Snooping

Initial and overarching reaction: LOL

Damon saving Bonnie’s life: *heart eyes*

“I’m not talking to you”/”Why ‘cause I didn’t feel you up in the kitchen?” LOL Damon knooooooows, Damon’s got you cornered (you’d like that wouldn’t you, Bonnie) (but also, same)

REPLY:

#READ

Like this idiot really thinks she’s fooling anyone? She’d totally like that. Let’s make another support group.

The flamingo tarts LOL

AND AND AND “Stefan’s not even going to be able to look at yo—“ crying

Kai going to hunt swan. Again.

REPLY:

So rude, pulling the judgy Stefan card. And yeah, Kai’s really into casual evening strolls with crossbows. 

The snooping. Okay, so first, Bonnie’s reaction of “yeeeeeeeeee” and Damon’s reaction of “k let’s do it”. I love it so so so much. This is a moment I can see Matt Daddario being Damon (I started watching Shadowhunters, pardon me). But also the things they find??? Like, if this were a tv show (where’s the petition, my pen is ready), then this would be that one weird/sci-fi episode. Like a musical episode, but sci-fi-y.

Damon “how much you want to bet one of these opens a hidden passageway”/I’m a big nerd too Fell/Whitmore (who tf is this guy)

REPLY:

LMAO coming up with the things they find was another case of me staring dead-eyed into space for 20 minutes and cackling at random, so I’m glad it was entertaining. And yessss, I can totally see Matt pulling off that line. I see him as a slightly sleepier Damon, like his blithe charm goes from obnoxious to a little slyer and lowkey, and he has more of a playful laziness about him. It’s a really fun/unique fit, especially since some of the other actors I’ve imagined as Damon have more of a brash/sharp quality to them that would enhance the showman aspect instead of downplaying it.

Bamon talking about Damon’s job: real bonding about real things!

REPLY:

WOOT. More of that ahead :)

Steroline Avoiding

“He could navigate picky eaters like a pro”:  I love that you made him this way, and that you made her that way, and that their ways are like puzzle pieces.

REPLY:

Ahhh, I love that you put it that way. That’s their new tag line.

And also for this beaut: “the Human Grimace” lmfao.

“I feel annoyed”/”Why?”/”I don’t know.” – is that their tag line or?

REPLY:

JK that’s definitely their tag line. 

Steroline bonding in general, bless.

“I can’t do this”: yikes. At first, I thought this was going to be a repeat of every sexytimez moment these two had before the ultimate one

but I really like how you placed that bit about Elena in there. Nice. Like how he can’t handle not knowing, and that’s very Caroline of him, and he could just tell her this please that’d help everyone???? I’m not ranting.

REPLY:

IF EVERYONE COULD JUST TALK IN THIS GODFORSAKEN FIC IT WOULD’VE ENDED TEN CHAPTERS AGO AND MADE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER. lmao but I’m glad you liked the Elena nuance - I’m trying to build their experiences in bits and pieces so that when they finally talk about everything re: the exes, it’s not too much of an information dump. 

Damon’s Panic Attack

Jesus Christ, Gabi. Right in the heart, dude. Like chill out. His avoidance of the very inevitable killed me. And Bonnie not picking up on the signs. Omg and Damon’s “I’m fine”, parallel to Caroline’s, and the whole “I can do this, I can get through this, I’ve only had myself before, and I only need myself now”, but Bonnie’s there and she’s all “I got you, you can do this, we’ll get through this together” and she’s talking him through, but he’s doesn’t want to even talk and  she’s just trying to bring him out of him successfully, but ultimately fails and goes with the distracting that is an old Stefonnie story. BUT THEN, her fourth-grade poem reminded me of The Punisher’s “one batch, two batch, penny and dime” in Daredevil (you watched that right?) and I was like oh shoot, you right. What you were right about, not sure, but it worked, and Bonnie did a good job (but also YOU), and Damon’s “she was a ridiculous person./Tangled and dark and simple and light.” And my heart wept. “He let himself stay”. Oh my poor baby. You wrecked me, Gabi, you really did.

REPLY:

‘and I was like oh shoot, you right. What you were right about, not sure, but it worked’ - LMAOOOOOO, dead. Like 50% of my excitement for posting this review is just people reading it and realizing how hilarious you are and then going to check out B&B. (GO AND CHECK OUT B&B). For real though, gaaaaah, everything about this is making my friggin’ day because this is always the toughest stuff to write for me. I never know if I’m building it well or if the emotions are transitioning fluidly and it makes me want to break my laptop (jk it’s already broken JOKE’S ON ME), so I’M SO HAPPY I WRECKED YOU. All of your observations are perfect. I didn’t even think about The Punisher but shoot, YOU RIGHT, that’s such a great parallel. I’ve always found that angsty situations are super unpredictable in real life, like the things you expect to happen seldom do and it’s always the most random thing that ends up shifting the mood, so I tried to translate that into this scene. Like Bonnie’s pulling out all the stops, all the things she’s trained to do, but what ends up cutting through the air is a random ass poem from fourth grade. And it’s just thoughtful and spastic enough to grab his attention, especially once he realizes why she went for poetry, and suddenly, the situation’s quelling. So I’m super, super happy that it worked for you, and that the ‘tangler and dark and simple and light’ stood out. I think that’s one of the first instances of him starting to realize she’s not one or the other, she’s both at the same time, so yeah, this feedback is all wonderful and now you’re wrecking me so we’re even.

Steroline Confronting

Is Caroline… confronting the problem? Is Caroline… actually fixing this? Is Caroline… actually being a person? Nice, good job, I’m proud of you, girl. Slay.

REPLY:

LOOK AT HER GOOOOO.

I like how she gets how fucked up the whole thing is. Like, she knows she’s being irrational, and that he shouldn’t have to put up with this mess, and damn, I feel for her.

REPLY:

Yesssss, totally what I was going for. Like the person most done with her shit is herself, and she’s likely going to be way harder on herself about it than you or me or Stefan or anyone else, really. So happy that came across.  

“Would it make you feel better if I told you that wasn’t the first time that’s happened to me?”

“What did you do? Actually—don’t tell me now.”/“I’m not telling you ever.”

”Tell me when it doesn’t hit so close to home.”/”Or never.”

”It’s still too soon.”/”It’ll always be too soon.”

These are gems.

REPLY:

Gotta sneak some fluff into every scene you know how I roll.

Oh goodness, but Stefan wanting to know her as a person. Ughhhhhh.

And the ruse of “for the sake of Bonnie.” I’m calling bullshit.

“Who was he, Nicholas Sparks?” Lol, I mean, it worked out, though, dude.

REPLY:

Stefan’s a lost cause.

As always, my friend, you’ve done a phenomenal job. Your writing style is so unique and fabulous, and it just adds to the storyline itself, like, it’s own entity in this whole thing. Bless. So excited for the next chapter. Did I hear more sexytimez for the bamon babes? 

REPLY:

GIRL I COULD SAY THE SAME DAMN THING ABOUT YOURS. Like even in this review alone - hysterical and eloquent af. I know you probably know this, but no one ever thinks that of their own writing (or at least I don’t think they do lmao, if they do LEMME HAVE A HIT OF THAT CONFIDENCE BOO ‘cause I didn’t even know I had a style), so it’s legit amazing to hear that the style stands out to you, and know that I’m boomeranging that comment right back atcha. Next chapter is sloooowly chugging along, by which I mean I’m writing at a regular pace but I’m trying to cram a legitimately concerning/insane amount of scenes into it. Like 15. LMAO. RIP Gabi. But hopefully it won’t take me too long! Also, it’s the last of the intensely emotional chapters for a while (just a lot of big moments I need to get right), so even if this takes forever, the rest should be a little faster. I feel like I say this after every chapter and nothing changes, looooool. BUT ANYWAY, you’re a marvel, this review is everything, I’m feelsy, you’re hilarious, write a book, bye.