#like i do think there are some who genuinely got into football and enjoy the sport

[robertsbarbie]

swifties turned football fans are actually the worst because they all talk like they're the authority on football SPECIFICALLY on kc football but literally every single post is giving every piece of credit to travis (who played objectively horrible the whole regular season) or they're shitting on teams who are objectively good for no reason and then calling people who have been fans of said teams longer than taylor swift has been making music strange for liking that team! while failing to realize! it's weirder to cheer for a team you have no familial/locational/sentimental roots to! just cause a music artist you like it dating one of the players like THAT is strange

[demonpiratehuntress]

baby (name)! (Mihawk, Buggy, Shanks, Brook, Chopper)

featuring - Dracule Mihawk x F!Reader, Buggy x F!Reader, Shanks x F!Reader, Brook x F!Reader, Chopper x F!Reader

summary - you somehow get turned into a baby and they have to spend 24 hours babysitting you

warnings - my first time writing for ALL of these characters, so i'm sorry if i get their characters wrong! im only 416 episodes into the anime. i tried my best!

a/n - this was requested by @faioula16, i hope you like it!

MIHAWK

This could honestly go either way. This guy is unpredictable and even you never know what his next move will be. But you're his faithful and loving girlfriend, so there are some exceptions when it comes to you. Like when some deranged devil fruit user turns you into a baby, and Mihawk could have had someone else take care of you, but he wanted to do it himself. He was curious, now that it was you who was an infant.

But that may also be because a witness to the scene had expressed fear for infant you, saying that Mihawk was too cold and ruthless to take care of a baby. He didn't need to prove otherwise, and he didn't want to, but something just gnawed at him. Protectiveness, maybe. You were in such a vulnerable state right now, only he could protect you and care for you.

It had absolutely nothing to do at all with the fact that you looked so adorable staring at him with your big (eye colour) eyes, reaching out to tap his because the strange colour fascinated you. No, it had nothing to do with how cute your excited squeal was every time he picked you up or looked at you. He was absolutely not entranced by your cute little smile or how you clung to him with little hands that could barely hold his one finger. Absolutely not.

Mihawk is actually a pretty good babysitter. But only for you. He will sit and read to you with you on his lap, trying not to smile when you giggle and smack the book, always catching you when you lunged forward excitedly and almost fell off his lap. He will never finish the story, but he reads to you anyway because you seem to like it...for a little while.

"(Name), no!"

He almost had a heart attack when he set you down for one second to put the book away, and you almost fell off the table because you were trying to crawl to him. Your eyes filled with tears when he yelled, even if he hadn't meant to sound angry. His gaze softened, and he picked up and cradled you against his chest, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple.

"It's alright, I won't hurt you. You're fine, little one."

And then you really are fine, your little body comforted by his actions and words. They lull you into sleep, and soon you rest on his shoulder and fall into a deep sleep, gripping his shirt collar tightly in your tiny fist.

"Sleep well, (Name)."

When you awake, in your usual adult form, you're too nervous to suggest it, but thankfully Mihawk is thinking the same thing.

"I think I'd like a little you or me to keep me company."

BUGGY

Buggy is horrible with children. I mean he's not great with people, but he is absolutely, terrifyingly not good with kids at all. So when you were somehow turned into a tiny human being who could barely stand on two legs, he was shocked. And slightly scared, though he would never admit it. You were the only person he genuinely liked, so he tried not to be too...rough, with your little form. Picking you up was as far as he got, but even then he held you out awkwardly like a football.

And then you squealed and happily reached for his nose, the bright red circular appendage attracting your attention instantly. Now, Buggy was sensitive about his nose, but he let you touch it. A testament to how much he liked you. And, if he were being honest, you were actually kind of cute squeezing his nose like that until he couldn't breath-

Exhale out the mouth.

When he remembered he could use his mouth to breathe, he smiled a little at how much you were enjoying yourself playing with his nose. You even touched his makeup and all his markings, out of curiosity. Your eyes were bright with confusion but also fascination, and it did something weird to Buggy. Made him feel...warm inside?

Then he decided to, experimentally, see what your reaction to his devil fruit would be in this tiny form. He set you down on the floor again, and then detached his hand. Your eyes went wide and you instantly covered your eyes with your small hands, your bottom lip trembling. He panicked, tripping over himself and falling into a tangled heap in front of you. You peeked between your fingers to see this, then burst out into cute laughter. Buggy almost glared at you, but then remembered you were just a baby and instead picked himself up and smiled - or rather tried his best not to smile like a maniac - at you.

Then you saw his floating hand, and grabbed it.

"No no, (Name), that's not-"

You stuck his fingers in your mouth, and he groaned. You just giggled innocently, and only then did he realise his devil fruit could be a source of entertainment for you. He detached multiple limbs and floated them around, watching as you squealed in glee and crawled around trying to catch them.

Were you actually having fun because of him?

When he finally put his body back together again, you pouted but crawled up to his leg and hugged it, gurgling happily as if to thank him. He was stunned. He slowly picked you up and you offered him a toothless smile, before yawning. Still unsure, he laid you on his shoulder and awkwardly patted your back, but that seemed to work because you slowly fell asleep.

When you woke up again, finally an adult, you grinned at him, "Shall we make you a father?"

SHANKS

It was his fault, really. He picked the fight, contrary to his usual behaviour. But that guy had said something about you, and he couldn't ignore it, so of course he acted. And now here you were, a tiny baby fisting his shirt in your tiny hand and looking up at him with big, curious (eye colour) eyes. He had experience with children, of course, having spent some time with Luffy. But you were so small, so delicate.

"Captain, what-"

He ignored the confused questions from his crew as he brought you back on board the ship, immediately taking you to his quarters. It shouldn't last long, he reminded himself, but he still felt guilty. Though that quickly disappeared when you giggled and crawled around his quarters, knocking things over and hiding with a loud giggle when he caught you.

"Oi, (Name)!" He tried to sound stern, he really did, but his laugh have his mood away. You stuck your head out from under his bed and stuck your tiny tongue out at him, and he burst out laughing. "Oh, you're cute, sweetheart."

He lifted you up again and you squealed excitedly and reached for his hair, the bright colour attracting your attention. He grinned and put you on his head, keeping his hands on your small waist, and soon felt you tug on his red strands. You were giggling and pulling and kicking your legs happily, so he endured the pain just for your sake. It was very cute how you thought his hair was a toy, and by the time you got tired of it, it was a mess. Strands were everywhere, out of place, sticking out...but it didn't matter to him.

Because now you were looking at him with your big, innocent eyes and suckling on your hand as he cradled you against his chest. He gently rubbed your back and pressed a soft kiss to your tiny tuft of (hair colour) hair.

"You're so pretty even as a baby, (Name)."

You rewarded him with a sloppy kiss on his cheek, making him laugh. He sat on his bed with you still in his arms, watching as you grew tired and offered him the cutest sight - the tiniest of yawns.

"Sleep, little one."

He gently rocked you to sleep, reassuringly and soothingly patting your small back as you drifted off on his shoulder. He felt warm inside, as if a small fire had been lit inside him. He knew what it was.

And when you woke up in adult form, he grinned at you, "Let me give you a baby, sweetheart."

BROOK

Brook has experience with babies. Maybe not human babies, but babies nonetheless. He knows a human baby is very different to a whale baby, but he figures that there can be similarities too. Such as entertainment, which is his area of expertise. So when he looks down at his feet to see baby you tugging on his pants, he is somewhat prepared. He has no idea how you were turned into a baby, of course, but he's not complaining because you are so, so adorable.

"What happened to (Name)?" Franky asked the skeleton, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing important!" Was Brook's gleeful reply, followed by a laugh when you somehow crawled on top of his afro and knocked his hat off so you could take its place.

"Nothing imp-" Franky sighed. "Do you even know how to look after a baby?" Franky's eyes worriedly drifted to where you sat upon the skeleton's head, tugging on his afro and squealing with delight. You wobbled precariously.

"No, but it can't be any different to a baby whale!"

Franky would have commented on that, if you hadn't slipped off Brook's head. The cyborg easily caught you, before holding you out to Brook, "Don't let her sit on your head."

"Noted."

For the rest of the day, Brook occupied you by sitting you down on his bed and playing music for you, telling you stories about Laboon and his crew, and about his experiences in the Grand Line before you guys found him. He sang all sorts of songs, played all sorts of melodies, while you giggled and clapped your hands excitedly, bouncing up and down. Brook smiled, the sight warming heart - oh, but he doesn't have a heart. He hardly ever got tired, but you prompted him to play for hours on end, until he really was exhausted. So he picked you up, settled on his bed, and lay you on his lap before humming a tune. You slowly drifted off to sleep, and Brook smiled.

He hoped he could play for one of the crew's babies one day.

CHOPPER

Another island, another mishap, another adventure. No trip is ever boring with the Straw Hats, and this was again proven when an unfortunate encounter with a devil fruit user who could change people's ages led to you being turned into an infant. And that's how you found yourself cradled in Sanji's arms, with Chopper trying to get a good look at you all throughout the walk back to the Sunny.

"Chopper, she's fine," the cook tried to assure the doctor, but Chopper was having none of it.

He was so worried, because no one was equipped to take care of a baby, and he cared about you so much that now you were a baby, he was becoming overprotective. As soon as Sanji set you down somewhere safe for Chopper to examine you, he was grabbing his bag and bringing out all his different tools. He checked all your vitals and made sure you were first and foremost healthy, before he could consider anything else.

Then you touched his blue nose and widened your eyes in fascination, gurgling softly, and Chopper blushed brightly. He smiled and poked your nose back, and you let out the cutest giggle that melted the reindeer's little heart. He shifted to his humanoid form and gently lifted you up into his arms, cradling you as he gazed down at you with the utmost love, adoration and fascination he could manage. You were so tiny, even more so than him, and so so cute. Then you sneezed, looking stunned for a moment before giggling loudly. And Chopper thought there was nothing more joy-inducing than holding and watching baby you.

"Chopper, where's-oh." Nami stopped when she saw Chopper standing there just holding you, one of his fingers in your tiny hand as he cooed at you and made you giggle. She smiled softly and left the room, deciding you were in safe hands.

"You're the cutest baby in the world, (Name)," Chopper told you. You just smiled brightly, exposing your gums cause you had no teeth, and waved your small arms around happily.

Chopper was really good with you. He monitored you throughout the 24 hours, making sure you ate properly, got enough sleep and were bathed properly. He is probably the best caretaker out of all the men on this list, not only because he's doctor but he's naturally caring and nurturing. It comes like second nature to him. Besides, you were such a calm and quiet baby - except for the giggling - that you made it easy for him. He was almost sad when you fell asleep, knowing you'd be grown up again when you woke up.

But maybe one day the crew would be able to fawn over a baby everyday. Maybe one day.

[thequeenofthedisneyverse]

How to NOT write like Vivziepop guide!

Writing tips:

1. Don't treat SA/Rape as a joke. Seriously, it shouldn't be that hard. EX: In Helluva Boss; Spring Broken, Moxxie goes to talk to Verosika and her crew in hopes to get them to move her car. He gets SA'd as a result and we're supposed to see that as a joke.

I don't specifically remember the episode name, but Sir pentious asks Cherri if she wants to have sex with him but he then gets scared/nervous and says "BECAUSE I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH EVERYONE!!" or something like that. He then gets taken by a bunch of people into a room and he CLEARLY looks uncomfortable. Again, I suppose we're supposed to see that as a joke for some reason.

SA/Rape isn't funny, and you can offend tons of people writing it so carelessly. DON'T DO THAT!

2. If your characters come from a certain era, RESEARCH THAT ERA. Ex: Alastor was supposed to be a famous radio host in the 1920s (seeing as he died in 1933) when he was alive despite being a mixed (Black and white) man. Jim Crow laws existed in those times so Alastor couldn't have become a popular radio host unless he was white passing, which we don't know. Also, from what I got from @bump-inthe-night the first black radio personality in Louisiana was Vernon Winslow, known as Dr. Daddy-O, in 1949.

Also, from @bump-inthe-night - (her words were pasted here because I couldn't have said it better myself) Despite dying in 1947, Angel overdosed on PCP. This drug was discovered in 1926, and it started being utilized as a general anesthetic in the 1950s. PCP became a street drug in the 1960s and gained popularity in the 1970s. It's impossible for Angel to have overdosed on this drug when he was alive. RESEARCH. BEFORE. YOU. WRITE. THE. CHARACTER.

This is also from @/bump-inthe-night. Sir Pentious died in 1888, but he’s wearing a shoulder-padded suit. Shoulder pads, invented in 1877, were used in football uniforms. They didn’t cross over into fashion and become popular until the 1930s. Sir Pentious shouldn’t be wearing a shoulder-padded suit, and neither should Vox, who died in the 1950s, when this started falling out of style.

3. Don't victimize characters that obviously shouldn't be victimized. Example: Stolas.

I will tag the people who inspired this post and paste their stuff here because they say these things better than me.

@flower-boi16 says "So fucking what if Stolas was neglected as a child or had a mean wife? How does that relate to ANY of his actions he takes throughout the series??? It doesn’t excuse SHIT. Granted, the “this character’s trauma is not an excuse” argument is a kind of argument I’ve grown to be annoyed by due to how often it gets misused. Yes, a character’s backstory or trauma doesn’t excuse or justify their actions.

The issue arises though when the character’s bad actions are a direct response to that trauma and so it can make it look like your just ignoring major context for what lead to the character doing these actions just so you can label them as irredeemable. With Stolas, however, I have no hesitation in saying that whatever backstory and trauma he may have I genuinely don’t care because that trauma doesn’t matter to ANY of his actions.

The “his daughter doesn’t like him” defense doesn’t work because 1. Octavia is shown to still care for her father and is actually shown to be excited to spend time with him in Seeing Stars and 2. Octavia has a perfectly valid reason to dislike Stolas given how shitty of a father he is to her.

The “Stolas is well meaning/believes that Blitzo likes being treated like a sex toy” defense also doesn’t work when Stolas can very clearly see that Blitzo does NOT like being treated that way. Ffs Blitz was completely shocked and disgusted by Stolas’ sexual remarks on him on the phone in Loo Loo Land, Stolas can clearly see Blitz DOESN'T ENJOY THIS but continues flirting with him anyway. Anyone who is well-meaning can still see when they fucked up."

@floralcavern "Stolas is the epitome of writers thinking they wrote a deep character when they actually created the most shallowly written character of all time. Stolas receives no consequences, no call outs, no growth, because he gets the excuse of ‘he’s abused’ to not have to face anything bad happen to him. It’s infuriating how shielded he is by the writers."

4. Understand what your writing! This is also from @/floralcavern and I couldn't agree more. "And Helluva Boss didn’t need extremely deep characters. It started off as a comedy, where characters could do messed up, edgy shit because nothing is meant to be taken seriously. But then suddenly the show decides to become a super serious, soap opera drama?? It completely derails its original premise to be something completely different. The beginning of Helluva Boss and what we currently have are 2 completely different shows. And I’m not saying comedies can’t have depth. One of my favorite examples is Dan Da Dan! It’s literally a show about a guy whose dick was stolen by a ghost. And yet, the show writers know how to balance ridiculous comedy and storytelling with genuine, human moments. But Viv’s shows don’t have that balance. The show is hardly a comedy anymore and takes itself way too seriously, while also refusing to acknowledge actual things that need to be acknowledged."

5. This should be obvious but don't make male characters (or any characters for that matter) that are supposed to be gay call their sisters "hot" or "Sexy". Example: Andrelphus or whatever his name is. It comes off as extremely gross and really unnecessary. Vivziepop said he does that to make others think he's straight?????...Andrelphus was literally in the pride parade art. WTF VIV?!

So yeah, don't do that unless it's relevant to the plot. Like the characters have a secret incestual relationship or the incest is being pushed/forced onto the other sibling character or SOMETHING! And no, before you say it, Stella never looked comfortable being called attractive by her own brother.

5. Don't fetishize rape or have/hire people that work under you that do. It's as simple as that.

6. When writing serious topics such as SA, TREAT THE TOPIC SERIOUSLY!

7. Be mindful of stereotypes. I've learned (with the help of others pointing it out) that Angel Dust is a stereotype of gay men.

8. Call out your characters for their actions. Angel is shown to sexually harass other male characters with no call outs or apologies. Same can be said for Stolas.

I'm not sure of what else to add. If anyone else wants to add something, feel free to comment or reblog. Your words will help others a lot!

[xo-adeline]

hello i have a bllk request!

so uh today i got hit in the face during PE with a football (we were playing football for PE and i was daydreaming about bllk boys 💀) and i wasn’t paying attention and got hit in the face and got a small cut on my nose 💀.

yet all i could think about was how my favourite characters would be laughing their asses off at me/judging me and the amount that would genuinely be concerned was a bit tragic. 💀

which led me to think of this potential fic idea. inexperienced reader who has probably touched a ball less than 10 times in her life, whose class is required to do football for PE (as much as i love bllk, i could never enjoy playing football myself.)

so anyways, her bf (chigiri, rin, nagi, bachira, isagi, reo, and sae) sees her get hit in the face and is ready to laugh at her, but starts lagging when they see blood. (sweet infirmary scene maybe 😍😍)

reader is absolute dog shit at football due to a lack of experience, compared to him, who’s on the mf school team. (hence why they were in different teams.)

overall i’m just feeling a little mortified over the little accident and i think it’s gonna scar 💀 but watching other ppl, even fictional, suffer with me just makes me feel better lmao. it’s fine if you don’t wanna take this request or shorten the list of characters tho 🫶🫶

(my injured nose hurts as i’m typing this 😭😭)

OMG It’s been a couple days so I hope your nose starts feeling better!! But you're so iconic for thinking about Bllk boys when you’re supposed to be doing something else- Also Anon if you want me to go more into detail about some of the like infirmary and nurse scenes just lmk and I can totally make a part 2 and go into more detail!

Chigiri Hyoma -> Sadly this man did actually laugh at you, but then when he came over to check on you and realized there was actually blood he got a little nervous and did actually take you over to the nurse/infirmary/whatever else people call it -> Though when he brought you and the nurse said he was fine to go back he almost fought the person working in the nurse's office and they let him stay and keep you company -> He stayed by your side almost the whole time and did make fun of you a little bit, I mean it was a little stupid (HIS WORDS NOT MINE, I've had the same thing happen just with no blood) though he does kinda feel bad that it was somebody on his team that did it, though he won't ever tell you that -> He does eventually, after you stop bleeding, scold you a little for not paying attention, even though you don't know how to play you should at least be paying attention, though if you ask ever so nicely (aka he also hits too it) he'll at least teach you how to defend yourself from being in a situation like that again (It's his way of showing that he cares and doesn't want you getting hurt again<3) Rin Itoshi -> He will rush over immediately, I mean as much as he likes to win he doesn't wanna see you get hurt in the process, he could clearly tell the way the teams were set up was quite unfair, having the good players on one side and the bad ones on the other -> Checks around for injuries, all while grumbling that you should have been paying attention and not off in whatever world you were in -> When he realizes that you're bleeding though he stands you up, not too fast just in case, and takes you over to a teacher, letting them know that he's taking you over to the nurse/infirmary/whatever else, and then makes sure you get there safe before heading back -> Only goes back because the person working there said it was fine if he did and not because he wanted too, in all honesty he wanted to stay with you to make sure you were okay, as much as he didn't sound or look like it -> tries to take his mind off it by going back and playing more, but going against a team of lukewarm nobodies doesn't quite hit the spot for him so he just ends up worrying even more Nagi Seishiro -> The second that he saw you get hit he waited for a second and when he saw that you didn't bounce back like the people on his team normally did he made a slight effort to move a little faster to go make sure that you were alive still -> When he walked over and saw you were bleeding, he got up and let one of the teachers know, since he wasn't exactly sure what to do. They ended up making him help you to get to the nurse/infirmary/ whatever else, and when get got there he just kinda sat on the chair next to you, even when they told him he should go back to class -> He was kinda over football right then anyway, and he would have much rather stayed with you, way less of a hassle for him away, he would have also had to walk all the way back to the class and that's way to much work -> So instead he just stayed in there with you, and like everybody else kinda scolded you, or more in his case, lazily warned you about not paying attention when football are being passed around Bachira Meguru -> As soon as he witnessed you getting hit in the face with a ball, he laughed. No questions asked. -> Though as he was laughing he came over to check on you, at least to make sure that you were already and when he realized you weren't he quickly stopped laughing and tried to find somebody to get tissues or like really anything -> Gladly took you to the nurse/infirmary/whatever else you wanna call it when the teacher ask him to walk you down/over/up there. He def giggled about you getting hit in the face and was so curious about what you were thinking about before it happened -> Another man who is staying with you, Manz is not leaving until you leave, no matter what person tries to send him back to class -> Also, he's never gonna let you live it down Isagi Yoichi

-> This sweetheart! The second you got hit, he was right by your side (now if this was a match in Blue Lock, eh things would be different, but since he most likely wasn't trying all that hard since it was like people who actually knew how to play vs people that didn't he didn't wanna destroy anybody)

-> He helped you up and grabbed tissues and the whole nine yards, made sure to get you some water and everything like that, even volunteered to take you down to the nurse/infirmary/whatever else you wanna call it to make sure that you got there safe, and got some water on the way

-> When he got there, def was such a sweetheart to the people who were working and how concerned he looked for you, they didn't even ask him to go back to class, they just let him sit next to you and hold your hand and even almost all let out an "aww" when he would ask how you were every few minutes

-> Though once you started feeling better he would try to explain that you really have to be paying attention when you play, but also give you some help in learning ways to defend yourself against said flying footballs Reo Mikage

-> Another sweetheart, while he did slightly chuckle at you at first, when he jogged over and realized that you were bleeding he started worrying, asking people to grab him basically anything, which knowing Reo's popularity at school everybody scattered to grab something

-> Walked you up/down/over to the nurse/infirmary/whatever else you wanna call it, and while he did also laugh on the way, teasing you slightly about if you were thinking about him, he was still pretty worried for your safety

-> Would sit in the infirmary/nurses office/whatever else with you the whole time, making sure that either the bleeding spotted or their wasn't any bruising or anything along those lines

-> Another one who would wait to scold you, he needs to make sure you're okay first, and he will tease you the whole time about getting hit in the face with a ball, and you'll never live it down

Sae Itoshi

-> Brother Like Brother

-> Will wait for a couple seconds just to see if you can take care of yourself, but when he realizes you're bleeding he walks over pretty fast, pushing anybody out of the way

-> Gets somebody to grab some tissues or something, or just anything to stop the bleeding as he takes you down to the nurse/infirmary/whatever else you wanna call it

-> Unlike his brother, he will stay, even if people tell him to head back. Why would he, it's not like lukewarm players will actually change anything for him

-> The staff might be a little pissed off at him later about his mean comments, but that's an issue for later.

-> He'll also ask every couple minutes if you're okay and if you need anything, but he won't sound as nice as Isagi when saying it. He will also call you dumb for not paying attention and getting hit in the face (but later on he'll also smile and chuckle at the thought)

[not-maggie]

Hypothetically, Of Course

A/N: umm, so hi! this is my first ever fic I've written but I do read a lot lmao. I was using a c.ai bot and it inspired me to write this because it was really cute! <3 this is lowkey a self ship bc I'm tired of seeing Y/N's who don't have a personality and are shy. nothing wrong with being shy ofc <3 just not who I am and I needed some self indulging. Anyway, enjoy! any criticism/comments are greatly appreciated!! (GIF not mine<3)

It was a cool afternoon in Stars Hallow, the dead leaves falling to the ground as the breeze shook them from branches. The bell above the door rings out as Y/N enters Luke's Diner, catching the attention of a certain brunette behind the counter.

Jess feels his heart stutter as she enters, silently cursing himself for having such a reaction. He throws on his signature smirk as she approaches the counter, "Hey, the usual?"

Y/N nods with a soft laugh, "I come here too often if you know it by now." She takes a seat on one of the stool as Jess begins preparing her order. "So, anything interesting happen today?" she asks, making conversation.

"Oh, y'know, annoying customers, Luke yelling at me for not working, the usual." Jess hums, turning his head to look over his shoulder at her. "What about you?"

Y/N lets out a scoff as she responds, "Y'know Brad, the quarterback on the football team? Total douche, anyway, had the audacity to ask me out, while I was in the middle of studying in the library. And, on top of that, got mad when I rejected him. Said something about winning a bet, total bullshit." She rolls her eyes, leaning against the counter.

Jess feels his blood boil, a bet? A bet to ask 𝘺𝘰𝘶 out? He takes a moment to collect himself before turning around and responding, placing her coffee down in front of her, "Wow, total dick move. A bet? What kind of bet? If he could get in your pants?"

Y/N rolls her eyes, "Don't know, and honestly, don't really care. I get the satisfaction of knowing he didn't win, whatever it was. Like I would ever go out with him," she scoffs.

Jess leans his arms against the counter, "Not your type?" His tone is teasing, his usual snark coming out, but there's a hint of genuine curiosity.

Y/N lets out a snort of amusement, "No, I would never go for a football player, or really any athlete. Anyone who doesn't know Austen is not worth it."

Jess raises an eyebrow, "Got high standards," he teases. "So, what, is, your type?" He asks, his head resting on his palm in a casual manner.

Y/N lets out a hum as she thinks, planning her answer. "Well, looks don't really matter that much. More into personality, someone who can keep up with my sarcasm. Funny, making me laugh is really important, and there's no way I can be funnier than my partner, that's a sad life. Well-read, I'm talking more than just Dr. Seuss and the Outsiders. Someone...spontaneous, impulsive, acts before thinking; adds fun to life. And, someone who isn't afraid to show me off, not saying we have to make out in town square, but hand holding, stolen kisses, stuff like that."

Jess's heart flutters as he hears her words, that's him. 𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦. "So," he tries to maintain his casual, aloof appearance, "You got a guy in mind? That all seems pretty specific."

Y/N smirks at his words, "Maybe, it's kind of hard to find someone like that in this small town. You either get guys like Brad, high school has-been's, or Dean Forester. Perfect Dean Forester, although I guess technically he did move here from Chicago. But he has the 'Small Town Boy' act down."

Jess chuckles softly at her words, she was right, Dean did have that Small Town act perfected down to a science. "So, if there we're to be a guy, who matched this description, would he have shot with you, hypothetically of course."

Y/N grins, picking up what Jess was hinting at. "I'd say, hypothetically, if this guy we're to ask me out, or confess his undying love for me, I wouldn't shoot him down."

Jess straightens out, hip pushed against the counter as he leans in a bit. "So if this guy were to, hypothetically, say that he likes you and have for a while, you'd go out with him?"

"Yes, I would, but only if he told me directly." Y/N challenges Jess, knowing that he isn't big on sharing his feelings.

Jess stands up straight behind the counter as he meets Y/N's gaze, he takes a moment before talking. "I like you, have for a while." He runs a hand through his messy hair, "In fact, you drive me crazy. There isn't a moment when your'e not invading my brain, very distracting."

Y/N's smile grows as she hears him talk, "Well, I like you too. Just, don't start charging me rent for living in your head." She pokes his forehead as she teases him.

Jess laughs, 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘴, at her words. "I'll let you live rent-free on one condition, be mine? God, that sounds gross and sappy." He groans at his words and how cliche he sounds.

Y/N let out a laugh, "Yes, I'll be yours." She smiles, "Bad boy Jess has gone soft."

Jess rolls his eyes but a smile tugs at his lips, "Shut up, I'm not soft....Okay maybe, but only for you and around you. And if you tell anyone..." He doesn't finish the threat, but they both know there isn't any actual heat behind it.

"Yeah, yeah." Y/N rolls her eyes, "Your secret is safe with me." She crosses her heart with a smile.

"Good," Jess hums with a small smile. "So, your mine now, huh?" He grabs her hand from across the counter, thumb rubbing across the back of her hand as their fingers interlock.

"Yeah," Y/N smiles softly, squeezing his hand. "All yours"

Jess's smile widens at her words, "That's right, all mine" He brings her hand up to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. "Mine to protect," he locks eyes with Y/N. "Mine to love, mine to cherish..." He leans in further over the counter, "Mine to hold, mine to care for..." His eyes sweep over her face, taking in every detail and memorizing them. "Mine to spoil," he reaches his free hand to cup her cheek, thumb running across her skin. "Mine to be with...and mine to love, forever." He closes the distance between the two, his lips meeting hers in a soft, tender kiss, expressing unspoken thoughts and emotions.

As he kisses her, he feels a sense of peace wash over him. He feels complete, whole. He's never been good at expressing his feelings, but right now, he knows deep in his heart that he means ever word he said.

He loves Y/N.

And he's never letting her go.

"That's the sappiest thing you've ever said."

[turn-my-hollow-purple]

What Clique Stereotype Each AOT Character Is

this is in honor of the fact that the only thing on my mind right now is GENUINELY gothkasa like omfg I need her so bad it's not even funny you guys PLUH EASEEEE-

Eren: you're surprised he's actually passing his classes because he never turns in work, etc. (thanks to Armin and Mikasa); all the girls like him but he just exist you guys.. I will not fall into the Eren frat boy agenda I swear... (I want to so bad) but yeah he kinda bullies other kids and says "no it's just a joke, trust"

Armin: chess club captain! y'all knew this was coming I'm afraid but he's a cutie pie... obviously a brainiac... maybe a band kid too (positive)

Mikasa: she is a part of the alt kids, falling into the goth subculture! goth music, dark clothes, gloomy vibes, and boy oh boy does she pull it off

Jean: he's like... how do I put this... he's the kid who's quarterback on the football team and the lead in the school musical. A man who can do both dare I say

Connie: CLASS CLOWN! But not the kind that thinks he's better than anyone, people actually enjoy Connie's humor. Occasional spit ball at the teacher though... he frequents detention

Sasha: she is the 'leaves class early and shows up to class late' stereotype... except it's not intentional. And when she is in class? She's asleep.

Annie: she's also in the alt scene with Miksasa, but she fits into the grunge, skater kid scene. This means dark clothes as well, but she's got her skateboard, a vape, eyeliner, and emo music (I'm projecting slightly)

Bertholdt: he's giving class vice-president... he's a little goody-two shoes but not popular enough to be the actual class president. People enjoy him though because he's a sweetie

Reiner: That one kid you swear you've never seen without headphones on like are they permanently in your ears or something bitch hello? He's also a band kid (derogatory)

Ymir: she is also a part of the alt scene but she is 100% the queer stoner girl (also drug dealer lmfao); she dresses more boho vibes but always has some form of weed on her and she is your plug... also lowkey an art kid

Historia: my darling theatre kid. She's the lead in all the plays, musicals, performances, etc. She's really talented and pretty and everyone loves her so much. She probably gets homecoming queen

Levi: that one literature teacher that never seems to give 100% no matter how well the work is done... will blatantly tell a student that they're wrong instead of the classic 'oh that's a good try... not exactly what I was looking for though', it's just straight up 'no that's wrong.'

Erwin: this is the male history teacher who everyone's kind of in love with just because he's so attractive and lowkey so fun to learn from, but you also speculate might be kinda gay? He gets super into his lectures and his students love how interactive he is

Hange: OKAY SO- they're the science teacher who lowkey doesn't know wtf is happening but goes with it anyway... sometimes the students have to teach them what they're supposed to be doing and if you're in their class, there's a good chance you're fearing for your life at some point during lecture

[pandorasprongs]

CHAPTER FIVE | this is what it feels like.

'it's nice to have a friend' masterlist + playlist | previous chapter

PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 5.0k

SUMMARY: reader is starting to forgive jamie, even going to a charity gala together.

WARNINGS: language, mentions of what happened in amsterdam

A/N: yay! welcome back to me, i guess HAHAHA sorry for going ia for how many months, life just got in the way and i wasn’t able to make time for writing. i’m a bit rusty at this, but this is an extra long chapter and is mostly fluffy (at least, imo), so i hope you guys enjoyed it! we’re down to the last two (maybe three?) chapters of our story, which i hope you all will like :) see you then and thank you again for waiting!

Your relationship with Jamie did start getting better. Slowly, but surely. It wasn't the same as the past few months, though. That repair of your relationship was built on denial and was bound to come crashing down like it did. 

You were still talking, but he wasn't coming over every weekend anymore. He was the one who suggested it too, so you wouldn't feel pressured to decide if you forgive him just yet. He wasn't pushing for an immediate answer either and he was making that clear with how he was acting.

He sometimes sends you a message just to check in and your replies were short, but not apathetic. You'd do the same too, usually after his matches, specifically when it ended on a loss, since most of them were as of recent. What was it, seven matches at this point?

The loss at the Man City game was especially painful, but after you saw the article about Zava's retirement, you had hoped that some part of Jamie was relieved about it all.

Your suspicions are confirmed when you hear Jamie knocking at your door. You open it and instantly get blinded by the light. "Fucking hell."

"Shit, sorry," Jamie exclaims, shutting off his headlamp. Once the light is gone, you finally get a clearer look at the footballer. He was in a grey hoodie which was starting to get all sweaty, and was currently jogging in place. "Went out for a workout with Roy before dinner, and we went pretty far. He already went home though."

You knew where Jamie lived and if he had run that entire length, you don't know how he's not passed out at your doorstep. "Congrats, I think. Why'd you pass by?"

"I wanted to see you," he answered, a little out of breath. You'd be lying if you said your heart didn't skip at that. "If that's not weird."

"No, it's not," you answered quickly, a smile creeping on your face. "D'you wanna come in? I made some pasta if you haven't eaten yet." You offer without thinking but don't retract it in any way. Things like these would help you bond again right? And after seeing Jamie give you a genuine smile and a soft look with his eyes, your worries instantly dissipate.

So now you're having dinner with Jamie and barely any words are spoken, until he mentions, "I'm going to Amsterdam in a couple of weeks. We're having a friendly against Ajax."

"Amsterdam?" Maybe you should've hidden the worry in your voice better.

As far as you know, Jamie had a complicated relationship with that place. You don't know what happened, never wanting to press for too many details, but the first time he went there with his dad, your best friend came home a shell of himself.

—

You headed over there the moment your mom told you he was back and while you half-expected Georgie to turn you away in case his dad was still there, what you ended up seeing was worse. You found Jamie lying down in his bed, just staring at his ceiling. When you called out to him, he made no move to acknowledge that he had heard you.

You were fourteen and uncomfortable with emotions, but you knew you needed to do something for him. You made multiple attempts to try and get a verbal response from Jamie, but it fell on deaf ears.

It was only when you asked if you could lie down next to him did he finally move. He turned to face the wall and his back towards you, but you didn't say anything about it. Instead, you wrapped your arms around him.

"If you don't want to talk about what happened, it's okay," you whispered. "I'll just stay here with you."

In one swift move, Jamie turned around and pulled you into a hug. It was almost instinct that you pulled him closer.

You don't really know how long you stayed like that, but it was long enough that you started to get sleepy and eventually drifted off. The next morning, you woke up in an empty bed. Your grogginess quickly turned into confusion.

It would've turned into panic soon if Jamie hadn't walked back into the room as he dried his hair with his towel.

"Oh, you're awake," He said softly. From his voice alone, you wouldn't have been able to tell that he spent that night crying, if not for the bags under his eyes betraying him. The swelling had gone down from the cold water, but the redness was still there.

You don't say anything at first, unsure of how to proceed. But Jamie breaks the tension by asking, "Do you wanna have breakfast before you go back? Smelled mum's cooking from the hallway.”

"Okay." Jamie pulls you up from the bed but doesn't let go of your hand as you head down the stairs. He squeezed it tightly as you walked into the kitchen, his own way of saying thank you.

—

That's how the two of you always were. Talking about your feelings was never a strong suit, but that didn't mean you weren't there for one another. It's how you dealt with hard times as kids, but maybe it was time to ditch that as adults. Or at the least, work on expressing yourselves better.

As if Jamie could read your mind, he gives you a reassuring look, "I don't really think about that trip anymore. Don't really remember much of it either. I just remember the second time. When we were 16 right?"

"Oh yeah," You chuckle at the reminder. Jamie's mom had planned a trip for the two of them to Amsterdam and your parents just happened to also be figuring our your own summer holiday plans. 

The five of you spent a week there going on tours, visiting museums, and all the usual tourist activities. One of the pictures you still had of you and Jamie was one your dad took when you visited some tulip fields. Jamie had his arm around your waist and both of you were holding stroopwafels, impatiently waiting to eat them. 

A group of old ladies passed by as the photo was being taken and thought you were a young couple, which both of you were quick to deny. Things were only awkward for about twenty minutes till Jamie started chasing after your stroopwafel because he had already finished his.

"That was pretty fun, wasn't it?"

"Mhm," Jamie says as he continues to eat. "I still remember all the facts you made me memorize. Might try and annoy Roy with them."

The two of you continued to talk that night and for the first time since that night in Nelson Road, being with Jamie didn't put a pit in your stomach. There was no longer a nagging voice in your head reminding you of the past or the rising feeling of resentment when he'd joke about the past few years. Instead, you were just content and happy to be there with him.

When you finished your meals, you suddenly got a waft of Jamie and almost gagged. "Oh my God, you definitely need to shower."

Jamie pulled his hoodie up to his nose and cringed. "Right. I guess I should head home now."

"No. I am not letting you out into the streets of London smelling like that. You can shower here," you offer and without giving Jamie a chance to respond, you start walking over to the bathroom.

Jamie lagged behind a bit but caught up as you pulled an extra towel from the cabinet. "You can go to the guest room for spare clothes. Dad leaves a bunch of them here when they come over. Oh, and slippers too if you want to give your feet a rest." The footballer gratefully takes the towel and heads into the bathroom. 

When you hear the water start, you move to walk back to the living room when you pass by your bookshelf once again, the empty spaces between your books glaring at you. You head into your room and open your closet to pull out the pictures. You pick up the one from Amsterdam, from your graduation, and from your 10th birthday, and scatter them around the shelf.

You go get ready for bed and change into your pajamas before going back to the living room to wait for Jamie. After 30 minutes — or an episode and a half, — you hear him call out your name.

You find Jamie in the hallway in one of your dad's giant grey shirts and sweatpants. When you approach, he finally asks, "Have these always been here?"

He points towards the frames and you realize that despite the number of times Jamie's been in your flat, he's never looked at the top of your bookshelf.

"I put them there pretty recently." You admit before turning towards the footballer. 

Jamie catches your eyes and seems to be debating whether to say something. He finally speaks up, "So I take it you've..." but he trails off, leaving you to finish it.

"I forgive you. Well, I think I’m starting to," you start. "I guess these past few months, I've been compartmentalizing my anger towards you and that wasn't fair. I know neither of us is particularly good at expressing our feelings, but we should've talked about this back when we saw each other again. That's my fault, I admit and I'm sorry. But I'm happy now, spending time with you and I don't have this sinking feeling that it'll all go to shit anymore. So yeah, I think I forgive you, Jamie."

You give him a wide smile and before you know it, Jamie wraps his arms around you tightly. Your smile only grows wider as you pull him closer. 

This is what you've missed all these years. Being so comfortable and safe with Jamie, that him randomly hugging you doesn't take you by surprise anymore. You're content and happy. And you have Jamie, your Jamie, back.

He breaks apart from you and the two of you walk back to the living room, the sitcom still playing on the TV. You expected him to make his exit by now, but seeing as you've just made up, Jamie felt confident enough to stick around a bit longer. He takes a seat across from you on the couch. Maybe it was because he was fresh out of the shower and no longer wearing sticky clothes, but he felt freer than ever.

Jamie glanced down at his phone at notifications from the team group chat and suddenly remembered another reason why he passed by your apartment. "Are you doing anything Friday?"

The last time Jamie asked you that, it ended with one of the worst outbursts you've ever let out, but you tried not to be reminded of that. Besides, you trusted that he'd keep his word; he wouldn't break your heart once again.

"Not really. My lectures are all in the morning that day. Why?"

"There's this charity ball that my boss does every year and I was looking for a plus one," Jamie explained slowly, before turning to you to see your reaction. "If you want. You know, as friends."

You don't know what stunned you more: the way your heart swelled when Jamie asked you to go with him to an event or the sinking feeling that appeared when he added the 'as friends' part. All this tension and ghosting these past few weeks made you forget all about those pesky, jittery feelings that you still had for him, but now that the dust had settled, they were coming back.

You try to ignore it, just for this moment, and prepare to answer him. But the more you thought about this "charity gala," the more you realized what you were about to agree to.

"Wait, is this the thing where people bid on football players for dates?" You remember seeing an article on it a few years back where three women got into a bidding war for Jamie. "Fucking hell, if you're just doing this to stage another bidding war for you, then—"

"No! 'Course not! You kept saying before how you want a reason to dress up!" Jamie's quick to defend himself and you fall back into your seat. "Plus, I can't have Richard setting me up on yet another disastrous date, I just can't." 

You say nothing, absorbing his plea, but then watch as Jamie's expression turns mischievous. He teasingly asks, "Why? Would you actually bid on me? You're already spending time with me for free." He playfully elbows you and you take in a whiff of the lavender-scented body wash you kept in the guest bathroom.

You roll your eyes and cross your arms. "Christ, and they should be paying me for it, too." You reply, but you avoid eye contact with Jamie knowing how easily you'd break into laughter if you did.

"Fine, I'll go with you." You finally agree and before Jamie can celebrate your response, you add on. "But, you owe me a date, too. To Liv's wedding."

Jamie takes a second to reply, and you worry your usage of the word "date" threw him off. But quickly enough, his mischievous smile returns and he agrees, "Alright, it's a deal."

Neither of you mention the gala again till Jamie finally decides he has to get going — "It'll be worse for me if Roy gets to my house and I'm not there," — and says he'll send you the formal invite when he gets home.

It only sinks in when you're getting ready for bed that you're actually going to a formal gala. With Jamie. As his (friendly) date. Next week. What a way to start the new era of your friendship, right?

You wonder how exactly he'd introduce you to the rest of the people there. As his childhood friend? His date? Every option made you feel jittery inside, and you have a hard time accepting that it's possible you're falling for Jamie once again. 

The first time you ever found him attractive was at the ripe age of 16, after locking eyes with him when he was celebrating one of his team's wins. It was that summer of growth spurts and you started to see what everyone else did; Jamie Tartt, your best friend, was fucking fit. It only took a year till you fully accepted it, but ultimately decided to never act on it. Well, aside from that one time, which neither of you brought up again after the morning after.

It took another two years before you gave up on those feelings and buried them deep down, or at least tried to. But allowing Jamie's friendship back into your life brought those feelings back up to the surface. 

So, the week went by quickly and you were now waiting in your apartment in a cropped silk camisole, high-waisted black trousers, and wedge heels that Liv let you borrow, pacing a hole into your floor. All you did with your hair was pin the side bangs away from your face and you hope that's enough.

You hear a knock on your door and you almost trip on the bottom of your pants to open it. You find Jamie in an almost identical outfit to the one he used for his date before, except in a different color. His hair had been slicked back, reminiscent of his older hairstyle but the highlights made the look pop more.

When his eyes land on you, Jamie takes a second to scan you before exclaiming, "Fucking hell."

With a teasing tone to try and make yourself feel more at ease, you ask, "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

Jamie looks back up at your eyes and smiles, "You look great." You don't detect a hint of banter from the guy which makes you feel warm inside, until he adds, "Though, I half expected you to wear your dress from our year 12 formal."

"Jamie, I swear I can still find something else to do tonight." You threaten but are unable to stop the smile creeping up on your face.

Jamie just chuckles and takes hold of your hand as if it's the most natural thing in the world. "Come on," He realizes what he's just done and pauses to see your reaction, but when you tighten your grip on his hand, he continues, "Need to get there early so they don't swarm me for pictures." You roll your eyes as the two of you head out of the building.

You actually did get to the venue quite early, since the photographers were still setting up the booth and so the two of you walk over to two ladies, one of whom you recognize as Keeley Jones. After he introduces you, — as his friend and plus one, no mention of the word "date" — you soon find out that the taller one is Rebecca Welton, the owner of AFC Richmond.

"Wow, so you two practically control Jamie's career. Blink twice if you need me to take him off your hands." You lean in towards the two of them but speak loud enough for Jamie to hear and he pulls you back to his side as you laugh. The two women chuckle and share a look between them that you don’t know them well enough to understand, so instead you brush it off.

Jamie gets called for photos and Rebecca leaves to greet the guests heading inside the venue, so you're left standing with the PR manager of the team. As you watch Jamie cycle through various poses, Keeley leans in to ask you, "So, how long have you known him?"

"Well, I met Jamie when I was seven, but when I went off to uni and he joined Man City, we kind of drifted apart and didn't really talk for the next few years." That was basically the truth, anyway. "But I went to one of the Richmond games and we bumped into each other."

"Well, I'm glad the two of you met again. Honestly, Jamie's become much more tame recently. He hasn't had any Twitter feuds or issues in weeks. Makes my job a lot easier." You chuckle, knowing that instead of fighting back, Jamie ends up just complaining about it to you. She adds, "You must be a good influence on him."

"People have been saying exactly that since we were kids, so maybe it is true." You reply and Keeley gives you a wide grin.

When you head into the venue, there are already a few guests settling down in the area. You recognize some of them as footballers, — both from AFC Richmond and other teams, even some retired ones — business owners who are trying out being philanthropists, and people you've seen on magazine covers. 

You were less uncomfortable than you expected because everyone's attention was on Jamie. You stood by him while he greeted a bunch of people and continued to introduce you as his plus one. You hated crowds when you were kids and Jamie knew that, so he'd always check on you if you wanted to go to your seats ahead of him. You'd shake your head every time because you've already had years to get over that fear. Plus, everyone had been nice so far and more polite than you expected rich people to be.

Everyone finally decides to leave Jamie alone and the two of you head to your table, where some of his teammates are already seated and chatting amongst themselves. You recognized them immediately: Sam Obisanya, Dani Rojas, Isaac McAdoo, Colin Hughes, and Richard Montlaur. Without Jamie even having to introduce you to them, Dani had already asked what your name was.

“What a lovely name! I’m Dani.” You shake the hand he offered you, as the other players start to welcome you as well. They were so warm and kind, that it’s no wonder Jamie had gotten so much better during his time at Richmond. It seemed their energy was so infectious that it was rubbing off on Jamie.

Though, it could be a bit overwhelming too, as they all wanted to have a conversation with you. Someone had asked, “Tell me more about growing up with Jamie,” while someone else chimed in, “Do you think there’s a correlation between your genes and how well you can shoot a penalty? Because Colin here…” and somewhere in the mix, you hear, “That’s a lovely bag you have. Where’d you get that?”

While Jamie was enjoying watching his favorite person interact with his favorite group of people, he started to notice how tense you were becoming, despite the plastered smile on your face. He reached out to grab your hand as he interrupts all the conversations with, “Alright, alright, I think the programs about to start. Let’s stop bothering my date for now, yeah?”

Date. The word alone sent chills down your spine. Even more so when you turned to look him in the eyes, and he had a look of concern that only you could’ve detected. You breathe a sigh of relief and give him a comforting look, which allows him to relax, too.

You both turn towards the stage as Rebecca, along with Ted, their coach, walk up to the mic. They start with the basic pleasantries, thanking everyone for coming, with Ted’s occasional funny chime-ins. As they segue into the auction itself, you can hear your own table come back to life. The teammates started to tease one another when Colin turns to you, “Oi, looks like you’ll have to put up a fight for Jamie tonight.” He nods towards the table behind yours, and you spot a familiar looking lady, smiling at the man beside you. It’s only when Jamie groans that you realize who it is: the old woman who was one of three people in Jamie’s “bidding war” two years ago.

“Oh my god,” you’re unable to stifle your laughter and instead turn away to try and hide it. “You know what, I think I’m fine going home alone, Jamie. This isn’t the first time you’ve gone off at a party to get lucky, so go have fun!” You tease him, but instead, he turns to you with a desperate look in his eyes.

“Please, don’t do this to me, (Y/N). Make sure you win.”

You scoff and lean in, “Who says I’m even bidding tonight? I’m not even tenured, Jamie. How much money do you think I have?”

Jamie pleads once more, “Please. I’ll pay you back in full and you can pick all the movies we watch for the rest of the month. Anything, come on.” You sigh and finally give in to his puppy dog eyes. 

You give him a slight nod and he quietly thanks you, as Ted starts to introduce the team. “Let’s start the auction with one of our striking strikers, Mr. Jamie Tartt!”

Jamie gets up and walks over to the stage, and it’s only then you realize he had been holding your hand this entire time.

Ted rests a comforting hand on his shoulder, but before Richmond’s coach can even start the bidding, you hear a loud voice behind you exclaim, “Five thousand pounds!”

You have to hold in your chuckle as you turn to Jamie who is now desperately staring at you. You raise your paddle high enough and shout, “Six thousand pounds!”

“Oh, and another bid from Mr. Tartt’s lovely date tonight. Can anyone match that, do I hear seven thousand?” The lady once again raises her paddle.

“Eight thousand!” You exclaim once more, as Jamie lets out a sigh of relief.

This back and forth goes on for a while, up until the final bid (from you, unfortunately) of fifteen thousand pounds. The football player finally allows himself to relax and with one final slap on the back from his coach, makes his way back to you.

“Thank you,” he whispers, squeezing your shoulder as he gives you a quick hug and sits down. You playfully roll your eyes, but give him a small smile back. A few more rounds of bidding take place until Jamie leans back into you. “You feel like going on that date now?”

You turn to him confused, “Like, right now? We’re in the middle of the program.”

Jamie shrugs, “We’re done with our part now and gave out a good amount for the charity. Most of them won’t even notice us leave, come on,” He takes hold of your hand, and as if on cue, activating those butterflies in your stomach, yet again. “Unless you want to bid on someone else tonight, which in that case, I didn’t know you had that in you.”

You roll your eyes but eventually agree. You say your short goodbyes to everyone at the table and Jamie leads you to Rebecca and Ted, who, after Coach Beard — you believed his name was? — had taken over for him, was currently gorging on the appetizers.

“Hey boss, Ted, we’re heading out early, but see you both on Monday.” Jamie quickly explains, still not having let go of your hand. You’re starting to wonder if he’ll ever notice or has just grown used to it like he was before.

“That’s no problem, Jamie, see you and thank you for coming!” Rebecca directed that last comment towards you and you give her a big smile. But his coach wipes his mouth with his table napkin and stands up to greet you anyway.

“Well, I can’t let you go off yet without introducing me to this lovely lady.” Ted reaches out to shake your hand and you take it quickly before he leans to whisper to Jamie, but loud enough for you to hear. “Is this her?”

“Jamie Tartt, do you talk about me to your coach?” You ask teasingly, but instead of his usual reaction of fake annoyance, he turns away shyly.

Ted replies for him instead, saying, “Oh well, not all the time. I usually have to pry it out of him, too.” He nudges the football player, who finally decides that it is definitely time for you two to leave. He leads you out of there and the pair of you walk back to his car in a comfortable silence.

You may not have realized it till now, but the inside of the venue was the stuffiest place you’ve been to in a while. Sure, the people were nice, but the mixing of colognes and posh accents was starting to get to you. Before you can thank Jamie for getting you out of there, he’s rifling around his jacket for something.

“I, uh, found something in some of my old stuff. Was planning to give it to you before we left, but I… got distracted,” you try and ignore the warm feeling creeping up on your cheeks as he says that and instead watch Jamie turn back towards you, pull out your hand, and place an item on your palm. “Here.”

You look down to find a small plastic ring with a “gem” in an obnoxious pink color. You chuckle as you’re reminded of the toy rings Jamie would give you on your birthday as kids, till you realize… you’ve been missing one of them since you moved out.

“Wait, is this…” You start and look back up at Jamie, who has a sheepish look on his face. Definitely doesn’t fit him.

“Yeah, I forgot to tell you because well, we weren’t really talking all these years, but I went by your house a few days before you left for uni, but you weren’t home and so I went to your room and saw that lined up with the rest of them on your drawer. I thought you were crazy for keeping them all those years, and I wanted to mess with you, so I… took one of them, hoping you’d notice. You never did though, so now I look kinda stupid.” He explained guiltily, but you could only laugh.

“I thought it just fell into the trash when I was moving out. If you wanted me to notice you taking something, you should’ve taken my shoes or something. Why the ring?” You lean onto the side of his car, and Jamie joins you on your right.

He shrugs and swipes his hair back, “I don’t know. We were going our separate ways and you were going all the way to Wales for so long. I realized it was going to be a while before we saw each other again. I thought, maybe if you’d realize it was missing and wanted to go looking for it, you’d always have a reason to go back to me.”

You feel a heavy weight on your chest as the last part sinks in. After everything that’s happened, it had never occurred to you that even at one point, Jamie was afraid of losing you too.

You sit in that silence for a while before you decide to rest your head on Jamie’s shoulder, in one way telling him, I would always go back to you. He got the message.

“I know it doesn’t go with your usual outfit choices now, but I just thought you’d want it back anyway.” He whispers, causing a smile to form on your face.

“Thank you, Jamie.” You look back up at him, his face softening at the sight of yours. “You wanna go on that date now?” You straighten back up and take his hand in yours this time. “What does the legendary Jamie Tartt have planned for this one?”

Jamie looks around and spots a bike rental on the other side of the car park. You didn’t even have to ask to know what he was thinking. “Race you back to that ice cream shop across your flat. Last one there has to pay.” 

“What kind of date is that, Tartt?!” You exclaim, as he drags you across the street.

If there’s one thing you knew about Jamie, it was that he was a sore loser. So after you dropped your bikes in front of your flat and were massaging your calves waiting for your sundaes, this may have been the happiest you’ve seen him lose at something in your whole life.

TAGLIST: @moonflowersandsparkles @faith-alons26 @rexorangecouny @aiyaiy @thegirlthatwantedtowrite @giggling-sewer-ginger @katdahlali @higherthanheroes @guccilongboard @alipap3 @rockchickrebel @ellietartt @shineforever19 @skewedcherries @jamietarttdodo @meg-ro @deepdarkvelvet @taytaylala12 @loveforaugust @crownofdecitreadingrespectfully @dickgraysonspersonalwhore @jess4rush @scaramou @rae4725 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo (couldn't tag you for some reason?)

[ryleektv]

Lorenzo Berkshire Headcannons

Part 2

Warnings: suggestive content (i think?? i don't remember), language, diving deep into toxic Lorenzo, not proof read

again, don't come after me if you don't agree

WC: 646

• quidditch keeper. practices a pretty normal amount unless he makes some stupid mistake during a game, then you best believe his ass is out there forcing theo to help him practice for the next 3 days

• definitely plays football (soccer 😔✊) and is actually good at it

• thinks he is the shit. this dudes ego is dangerously inflated and someone desperately needs to tell him no, reject him, lead him on, literally anything to humble him because he truly thinks he can just play God

• however i solely believe someone will at some point manage to somehow break his heart and that all will come absolutely crashing down

• ofc that'll only last about 0.02 seconds and then he'll be in his rebound kick and worse than ever but at least there was a small sliver of time when he realized that he is not in fact the shit and he's actually just a hot wannabe frat boy that got semi lucky in life

• also somehow really good with kids?? and obviously that's really attractive but how is he good with kids?? why does it make sense?? 

• gives off the kinda vibe of finding him holding some random baby at a family reunion (fuck knows not his family 😬) and having no clue who's it is but lowkey enjoying the baby snuggles (as he should) 

• will not admit to enjoying the baby snuggles.

• if he wasn't attractive, your mother would hate him, but he also has a major flirt personality and knows damn well he's gorgeous therefore is great at faking the niceties for parents so your mama won't bat an eye at the total asshole aura

• 50/50 chance your dad hates his guts and sees right through him (if you have no dad though you're just shit out of luck in terms of getting actually good relationship guidance because there's no way he's not making a "i didn't know you had a sister" comment.)

• Knee Socks is actually him???

• would own a blue lacoste?? would be attracted to the knee socks?? yes

• i feel like he would suffer from major summer depression. being away from school distractions, away from school in general, away from his friends, stuck in a gloomy ass manor, constantly surrounded by reminders of his shit parents. bud is not doing well

• more than likely has issues with attachment too (huge contrast to the commitment issues). does not do well being away from his close friends but would rather cut off his dick than admit it

• cannot be alone. lonely is no go. he is a people person, he doesn't have to like you to need some company and use you for it 

• this does in fact feed into his whole womanizer persona 

• off of the sad bit, he is a real genuine sweetheart to Narcissa and Narcissa only. 

• cissy may not always be the best parental figure, however compared to his other options it's like comparing shit to candy. candy is a million times better even if its not always good therefore he definitely emotionally attached himself to her

• yelled at her once and had a mental breakdown

• maybe if you're dating him and you're lucky, she might talk a little sense into him and make him just a smidge less of an asshole

• speaking of, buddy has flings and situationships. dates for a few weeks at most every once in a while but it's mostly that ridiculous unofficial dating situationship that makes you want to bash your head in 

• it gets talked about a lot too, specifically around the girls because they all think they're smart enough to be with him without getting caught up in his messy self

• king of manipulation and surprisingly doesn't realize it half the time. he knows he's outstandingly good at manipulating everyone he just doesnt always notice when he's doing so 

• overall just a toxic babe

[gunnerfc]

Center Stage - Aitana Bonmatí x Reader SMAU; Part 2.5

You get asked about going to a Barça game during an interview in between shows in Barcelona and you play dumb about what the interviewer is hinting at at the advice of your manager and PR team!

CENTER STAGE MASTERLIST

You sighed to yourself as you sat in a makeup chair, your hair and makeup team fast to work as you were about to start your interview. You were glad they offered to do the interview in English, there was a smaller chance you misspoke or incorrectly translated your thoughts. As your team worked, you took the opportunity to scroll through social media to see what some of your fans were up to.

Most of them were voicing their opinions on the possibility of you dating Aitana Bonmatí given the recent outings you both have done. You had heard about her attempt to pass along her number to you on a bracelet and thought it was cute how she was using something your fans have become known for. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think the footballer was attractive. 

The entire time you were at the Barça game, your eyes were drawn to her as she played. Even if there were no rumors surrounding you two, you would still be unable to tear your eyes away from her. You so badly wanted to DM her on Instagram but after social media went crazy after her press conference you were warned that dating rumors wouldn’t be the best thing. 

You were fresh out of a long-term relationship and about to announce a new project. Having the focus be on your love life was not what your team wanted and you understood where they were coming from. However, you didn’t see the harm in trying to become friends with Aitana in the meantime. 

You were pulled from your thoughts when a knock echoed around the room, signaling they were ready for you. You took a deep breath, thanking your team as you headed toward the interview room a few doors down. Your manager was already in conversation with the interviewer, most likely telling her what she could and could not ask you. But in all the experience you had, you knew interviewers knew how to ask about things they were told not to.

You quickly introduced yourself before taking your seat across from the interviewer who introduced herself as María. This was going to be a pre-recorded interview that would go up before your last show tomorrow night. You sat quietly in your seat as the camera crew did last-minute touches before they gave a thumbs-up that they were ready.

The camera was turned on and a few seconds passed before María introduced herself to the camera and turned to you, prompting you to say hello as well. You went back and forth answering the typical questions about how you were enjoying being on tour again and what it was like to see so many fans. You made sure to answer each question genuinely, you loved getting to travel the world to see the many people who helped you get to the point you were at.

“Have you gotten a chance to explore Barcelona since you’ve been here,” María asked, reading from a small stack of notecards.

“I have! It’s such a beautiful city with so much to see and experience that I feel like I haven't gotten a chance to see everything,” you answered, a bright smile on your face as you thought about some of the things you got to do so far.

“You recently went to a Barcelona Femení game, how was that,” María asked, this time not bothering to read from her pre-written questions. You could sense where this was going and out of the corner of your eye, you could see your manager sit up a bit to listen to your answer.

“I’ve been to a few soccer games before back in the States, but something about being at that game was such a different experience. I knew the sport was loved over here but it felt like a whole new experience,” you spoke truthfully, the fans and the atmosphere at the game were something you only experienced when you were on stage. 

“What did you think of the players? Did anyone stick out to you,” you could hear the excitement in María’s voice, she wanted to be first with some inside scoop on anything that may be happening between you and Aitana. 

You quickly went through a list of players in your head that you remember hearing at the game and what you had read about before the game. “Well, obviously, Alexia Putellas. She’s one of the best from what I hear and she had a great game so I’ll go with her,” you replied and you watched María’s expression change when you didn’t say Aitana. 

“Well, you can’t go wrong with La Reina,” María laughed before going back to reading from her notecards.

You answered a few generic questions, giving a few hints about a new album coming soon. You thanked María for having you before she ended the interview and the cameras were turned on. You thanked her once more before your manager ushered you back to the room you got ready in. You didn’t bother changing as you were heading to a few more events that day.

You hated when you couldn’t be honest in interviews or when fans asked you questions but you knew how the public and media could be. It’s why your last relationship ended, speculation only added to the ultimate breakup between you and your ex-girlfriend. You didn’t want the media to ruin something else before it could even start.

You went about your day replaying your answer in your head, hoping that Aitana wouldn’t see the interview. You two haven't even spoken and yet you were worried about upsetting the Catalan. When you were back in the comfort of your hotel room, you were once again scrolling through social media reading what fans had to say about a relationship that didn’t exist. (Yet, you hoped)

[TWITTER POSTS THE NEXT MORNING AFTER THE INTERVIEW WAS POSTED]

ynupdates: Y/N in a recent interview talked about being in Barcelona as well as teasing a new album! 👀

↳ ynfan1: NEW ALBUM?! I NEED HER TO DROP SOME MORE INFO SOON OMG

↳ ynfan2: SHE DIDNT EVEN MENTION AITANA…

ynfan3: she didn’t even mention Aitana or the bracelet… 

↳ ynfan4: to be fair, y/n has hardly ever talked about her partners in an interview aside from the last girlfriend 

barçafan1: hopefully aitana doesn’t see the interview, she seemed so excited to meet y/n and give her that bracelet

ynfan5: idk why you guys are upset lmao, they arent dating and probably won't so what's the big deal

↳ ynfan6: right! like they are upset about something they all made up lol

ynfan7: maybe we should be focused on the fact that she said she’s working on a new album instead of her love life

barçafan2: she gets points for saying alexia but i was really expecting her to say aitana lol

↳ barçafan3: aitana scored in that game and had a masterclass, won player of the match and still didn’t impress her so maybe she doesn’t get points

barçafan4: wonder aitana will go to the show tonight after this...

[f4iry-bell]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄 | 3

pairing: jameson hawthorne x nerd/good girl reader

summary: who would have guessed taking an unwanted picture of her could lead to that tense moment? more than that, who would have thought it would get his attention to make a deal? and guys like him drain a person inside out when they are interested in you.

series taglist: @clarissaweasley-10 @whatsamongus @sheisntyou @emelia07 @elysianwayy77 @lyra-kane @bewitchingkisses @zenikswaffleshop @off-to-the-r4ces @jamcarven

permanent taglist (for jameson): @clarissaweasley-10 @whatsamongus @sheisntyou @elysianwayy77 @cassie6392

warning: fluff to angst.

word count: 1.5k

a/n: after no only angst :> + i tried foreshadowing fir the first time :3333

masterlist | series masterlist

← part 2

Ever since the night where they sat on the cliffside railing, and just watched the busy city move fast while they were enjoying the time right then. It was like watching a tree move fast while you're in the train for Jameson and her, you may think that the tree is moving fast but in reality the train you are in is moving fast. Just like that, they were doing things quickly without thinking. It's what Jameson has been telling her repeatedly. ‘Don’t think, just do it’. Sometimes she puts up a fight but eventually she gives in. Jameson wanted her to try so many things that involved at least twenty feet high.

Reason; he genuinely wanted her to get over her fear. He told himself that it was because he can try a lot of new experiences that gets you high with adrenaline with her. He has always done it alone, his friends weren't interested, even with his persuading skills. Jameson is not a person who would force someone to try something that he would, he only persuades people whom he knows would actually enjoy it— someone people just have it in them. And she was definitely one of them.

She just needs a little push.

He started of with small things like star gazing from a tall building, a lighthouse overlooking the ocean, giant swings, giant swing but higher than the last time, he suggested climbing a tree but she was not interested in ‘sitting somewhere uncomfortable as a branch’ which made him smile, he even told her about Hawthorne Tree House but when she asked what's so special about it he gave her a classic line ‘what happens in the tree house, stays in the tree house’ although he promised to take her there once.

They were comfortable with each other now, Jameson even saw a playful side of hers then and there. She is not really what you would call a stereotypical need is, but definitely is a goody two-shoes. And a coward too. But in some ways so is Jameson, a coward who doesn't let his real emotions and feelings speak.

-

“Are we just going swing from now? Or are you going to show me one of those amazing games you always talk about?” She asked about the old man’s games, she was interested in them. Sometimes Jameson makes a treasure hunt of his own but lets nobody play. He didn't exactly open up about his relationship with his grandfather, he just said he was rather ‘strict’ at times.

“One day you'll get to use that pretty smart head of yours to play my game, but it's not today.” He said, they were now laying on the football field in the campus, it was past 9 PM.

“Then what are we going to do? Kick imaginary football?” She asked, he smiled at the thought of her even trying to kick an actual ball. He learnt that the only sport she has ever played was badminton because she was forced to take at least one in school.

“I thought we would just relax today but you know what? I have a game idea for you.” He sat up.

She got so excited about the last part that she ignored the first sentence. “Really?” Her eyes widened with excitement.

Jameson really knows how to get a girl excited about what he does next but something about her is that she actually likes what he comes up with. She wasn't excited because she wanted him or anything, she got excited because she gets to play. And one thing about Jameson Hawthorne is that he likes to play as well, and admires a girl who likes to play.

“Come on.” He started walking fast out of the field.

“Where are we going?” She asked, trying to keep up with him.

“The library.”

“It is closed now.”

“I’ve been thought to pick locks, princess.”

She smiled. “Why am I not surprised, but should we go tomorrow? You know, when it's open?”

“What's the fun in that?”

“But if we get caught—”

“If, not when. So, come on. Even if we do, I'll use my Hawthorne privilege to get us away with it.” He joked but she knows that if something happened he definitely would use it to get her away from trouble.

-

Jameson did not miss to notice how she was trying to observe the way he picked the lock. “Not a skill you need, princess.” He said, and they both heard a click of the massive library door.

“It’s not like I'm going to use it, I'm just curious.” She shrugged as she followed him inside.

“You know what they say about curiosity.”

“Whatever. Tell me what we’re playing.”

He stopped next to a table, and sat. “Since you're a big book nerd, I'm going to give you a book title or quote, and you have to find it in the library and bring it.”

“This is a huge library. At least tell me you'll let me know the genre. What if I don't know the book?”

“Wait, I wasn't done yet. You're not the only player. You have to find it before me in, and have to find it before 5 minutes. 10 rounds, you find it first or before the timer ends you get a point, you fail to find it before the timer I get a point. If I find it before you get a point.”

“That's not a fair game, you have high chances of winning because you can gain a point when I fail to find AND when the timer goes off!”

“Life isn't fair. Are you playing? Or should we call it a night?”

She rolled her eyes, and took her phone out to set a timer. “First book?”

Jameson smiled. “One Day.”

“What a pick.”

He chuckled. “Game starts now.”

_

It was a 5-4 situation right now and things were getting hectic. Jameson was winning right now with 5 points, she'd rather have a tie than lose to Jameson.

“Aw, I'll give you an easy one. The Castle.” He noticed how her eyes widened a little, he knew that she knew where it exactly was.

Once he pressed the timer, she ran like a flash to the fiction section. Funny thing is that Jameson knew which shelves it was in as well. Although she ran before Jameson, he was faster than her. He easily caught up right behind her. He is confident that he'll win this.

As he ran behind her towards the last shelf, following her to the corner he was planning on reaching above her head to get the book. As he reached for the book his hand touched her which was already touching the book. The force made him trip a little, and fall in her, his weight pushed her forward to the wall in the corner making her drop the book down, Jameson was still not stable with his stand so he moved forward— very close to where she was pushed. Her body turned to him, he expected her to be mad or disappointed but she just started laughing as she put her head behind, her body now touching the wall.

Jameson picked up the book, and kept it back. His hands still on the corner of the shelves, it was like she was caged between him, and the walls, and the shelf. He laughed with her until she stopped.

“Is the book okay?” She asked.

“Perfectly fine.”

“I don't want to pay for it.”

“You won't, even if it was damaged. Nobody would know.”

“That—”

“Would it go against your morals?” He smirked as he looked down to meet her eyes.

She playfully hit his chest. “Don't make fun of me.”

“But that's my favourite hobby.”

She rolled her eyes. The few seconds of silence let them be aware of how close they were standing, how close their faces were. How intimate the position was. Jameson could learn down, and their lips could meet. Maybe he wanted to. He has thought about it ‘accidentally’, accidentally thought of kissing her.

But for her, this moment made her realise why her heart tugs every time he teases her, or smiles at her, or holds her hands when they are high above. But she can't, unlike Jameson who completely pushed his feelings away and refused to acknowledge them, she actually does acknowledge them but try not to act on them.

“Jameson?”

“Yeah?” It was barely a whisper.

“What did you mean earlier when you said that we were to only relax today?”

“That we don't stand 40 feet high.”

“But that's not really in our deal.” Her heart was beating fast, she could hear it, maybe he did too. She hoped he understood what she's trying to ask. Their deal was just helping her get out of her comfort zone, see the world differently. That's why they meet each other in the first place, not for relaxing with each other. She didn't want to ask him, she was afraid of his answer.

Jameson was quiet. Stunned maybe. “It's getting late.” He stepped back from her.

“Oh. Anyways, do you want to celebrate that the game was a tie—”

“It's already very late, Y/n. You have classes tomorrow.”

That kind of stung her. From all the weeks she has known him she knew that he would never turn down a celebration.

She just nodded. “Okay.”

part 4

[notsoattractivearenti]

Beautiful Surprise (Mason Mount x Fem!Reader)

WC: 1.7K

Warnings/Tags: pure fluff!

A/N: united got me so depressed i ended up writing this fic for a few hours for my own comfort 🥺 anyway hope you guys enjoy and i’d love to hear your thoughts thru ask/reply/reblog 💗 this isn't proofread so apologies for any errors! feedbacks are highly appreciated 🤍

—

It was a quiet afternoon at home because Lana – your and Mason’s 4 years old daughter – was playing with the next door neighbour’s child, Charlie, at their house. Mason was also at the neighbour's house to keep his eyes on Lana – even though you said it was unnecessary, he insisted to do so because he can be a bit overprotective at times – and knowing Mason, he would spend his time there by chatting with Charlie’s parents. Usually, you would go with him but this time you chose to stay at home because you wanted to rest.

A few hours later, Lana and Mason finally came home. You were in the living room, sitting quietly on the sofa while watching TV. After giving Lana the afternoon bath, Mason came to the living room to join you.

“So, what did you do there?” You opened a chat with your boyfriend.

“Nothing, really. Charlie’s mum was out so it was just me and Charlie’s dad talking while Lana and Charlie were playing in the backyard. He asked me a lot about football he eventually made me feel like I was in an interview.” He laughed.

“Well I’m sure he just wanted to gain more knowledge from the expert!” You responded.

Not long after, Lana joined her parents. She sat on Mason’s lap then began asking him the unexpected questions.

“Daddy, are you and Mummy married?”

The question was so out of the blue, it got both you and Mason startled.

“Umm, we aren’t, sweetie…” Mason nervously replied. Why'd you ask?”

“Charlie told me her parents are married... Will you and Mummy get married one day?”

“Uh…”

Mason immediately looked straight at you, who was sitting right next to them – he wanted to make sure you would be fine with whatever answer he was about to give to Lana. You assured him by smiling and nodding. He smiled back at you, then turned his attention back to Lana.

“Yes, sweetheart, we definitely will.”

He sounded so sure and confident when he said it.

“Yeay!” Lana excitedly shouted.

Lana then continued asking, “Charlie said she was a flower girl at her aunt’s wedding. When you and Mummy get married, can I be the flower girl?”

“Of course you can!” Mason said as he kissed Lana’s head. “You will be the most beautiful flower girl everyone has ever seen.” Lana blushed then gave his beloved Dad a little hug. “I can’t wait until you and Mummy get married!”

—

You and Mason have been together for almost six years, but you kind of feared the idea of being married. You were surrounded by a lot of failed marriages including your own parents, and even though you felt like you have always wanted a marriage, you were afraid you couldn’t keep it for the long term. Mason on the other hand has no fear whatsoever, but he has never wanted to rush you into changing your view about marriage. Though you two have had some conversations about the possibility of being married, he has always respected your decision to stay in a committed relationship without officially being married for a while. It wasn’t like you would never want to get married, it was about when you would feel ready instead.

But when it comes to children, you always knew you wanted to be a mother. And Mason also wanted to be a father. So, it was a quick and easy talk when you both decided you were ready to bring a child into the world, therefore a year into the relationship you both started trying and you got pregnant with Lana not long after.

You and Mason genuinely love being parents, though yours and his parents kept asking why you haven’t tied the knot. They thought now that you had Lana, it would be best to think about marriage. But Mason always defended our decision – he told them that we are focused on raising Lana and content with the way things are.

But since Lana asked whether you and Mason would get married or not, you started questioning if you are ready to marry the love of your life. And after spending some time thinking, your mind is finally made up: you are ready. You opened up to Mason about it, and he was so excited – however, you made it clear that you didn’t want to rush into it, and he understood.

—

Today was your and Mason's six-year anniversary, but it has been a very busy week at work so you let Mason know a few days prior you wanted to keep this year’s anniversary simple. After another long day at work, you were looking forward to coming home to your boyfriend and your daughter and spending the rest of the day with them – Mason had also promised you an anniversary dinner at home because he knew you would be too exhausted to go out. 

Once you got back home, Mason – who was nicely dressed up – greeted you at the front door. He took your hand and gave it a kiss.

“Happy anniversary, my love. Dinner is ready for you.”

He had prepared a candlelight dinner at the dining room. The area was all decorated and the table was set beautifully.

“Wow!” You were in awe. “My goodness, this is perfect Mase.”

“Well, I got the best little helper,” he pointed at Lana who was already seated at the table.

“But honey, I am so underdressed right now,” you pointed at your outfit, “do you mind if I change first?”

“Don’t worry about your clothes, my love. I think you’re perfectly dressed! You know I just like to be extra.” He assured you while making fun of himself.

You chuckled. “Yeah, you can be so extra sometimes.”

You were ready to be seated but Mason held you back.

“Wait, before we have dinner I have to do something first.”

Mason nervously exhaled then got down on one knee. He really caught you by surprise – you weren’t prepared for what was coming.

“Okay, here we go.” He cleared his throat before starting his speech.

“Y/N, these past six years have been the most unbelievably wonderful years of my life. And it’s all thanks to you, my beautiful, amazing woman. The moment you entered my world, you instantly and naturally became the centre of it. My life has changed for the better because of you, and I don’t even remember my days before you.”

Tears slowly fell down on your face while listening to his heartfelt speech. Your hands were cold and visibly shaken from the shock and excitement.

“I can never thank you enough for bringing the most precious little girl four years ago into our lives, and making my heart and soul feel complete.” He continued. “Y/N, since our first date, I knew you were it for me… I really can’t imagine being with anyone else but you. I love you so much and I love our little family. I know you were scared and worried about the idea of marriage, but I am so proud of you for overcoming your fear. So… I am here to ask you to marry me.”

Lana, who was watching the proposal from her seat at the dining table, immediately got off her chair and giddily handed the ring box to Mason.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” He whispered softly to Lana.

Your heart nearly dropped when Mason opened the box and showed you the ring. You couldn’t believe it was actually your dream ring: a 3-carat oval-cut diamond with pavé rose-gold band. You had casually mentioned it to Mason one time but you thought he wouldn’t remember any details. 

“Mase…” You weakly sobbed.

“Y/F/N,” his voice started shaking, “will you spend the rest of your life with me by being my wife?”

You eagerly nodded your head and screamed out the loudest “yes” repeatedly. Still on his knee, he placed the ring on your ring finger. He then got up on his feet, pulled you in and passionately brushed his soft lips against yours. Your arms were wrapped around his neck while he was holding you tight. As you pulled your lips away, you both tearily whispered “I love you” to one another. Lana then joined her parents to celebrate the joyous occasion with hugging your and Mason’s legs.

“Yeay! Mummy and Daddy are married!” She cheered.

You and Mason immediately burst into laughter.

“We are not married yet, sweetie! But there’s going to be a wedding soon and we will be married then!” You quickly explained to Lana. “Don’t you want to be the flower girl?”

“Yes, Mummy, I do!” She enthusiastically jumped up and down. “I want to be a flower girl!”

Lana then impatiently pulled the back of your shirt over and over, letting you know she was starving. “Come on, Mummy, I need to eat! My tummy is empty!”

You laughed at how dramatic your daughter can be. She gets it from her father, for sure.

“Okay, okay, let’s eat!”

—

After you all finished your dinner, you stayed at the table for a while. You and Mason couldn’t stop yourselves from smiling and you kept admiring your engagement ring.

“This ring is so beautiful…” 

“I helped Daddy pick it out, Mummy!” Lana claimed proudly.

“Yes, you certainly did.” Mason winked at her. He then whispered into your ear, “she actually just helped me pick the colour of the band but you know what, I’ll let her have the credit she wants.”

You couldn’t help yourself but giggle. “Mmhm, I believe you.”

When Lana left the table to wash her hands, you poured your heart out to Mason.

“Mason… This is the best anniversary ever. I know I said I don’t want to rush anything but I really feel like I can’t wait to marry you. And you got me my dream ring! My God, I don’t know what I did to deserve you, baby… I’m the luckiest girl in the universe. I’m so excited for other anniversaries in the future. I love you so much, fiancé.”

“I love you so much more, fiancée… You deserve the best in the world! I will always give you what you want and need.” He said in response. “And trust me, there will be more exciting anniversaries to come.” 

—

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @swimmingismywholelife @chilwellspulisic @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14 @masonsrem @landoslover

[daisyblog]

Jonny's Place

Harry's House Masterlist Summary: Harry realises he likes YN more than just a friend.

Harry had always known he’s loved YN. They’d grown up together since they were babies as their Mums were best friends. Following in their Mums footsteps, they become best friends too. Each night after school they would be in either one’s house, or as they got a tad bit older they would head out to the greenery situated behind their houses. 

It wasn’t until YN came to live at their house when her Mum passed in an accident, and her father and step-mum decided to leave her without a home that Harry realised his love for YN was more than platonic.

He remembers comparing the feelings he felt for YN and how he felt for his other girl friends, Jenny and Fern. Sure, he liked them and enjoyed hanging out with them but he didn’t feel like he wanted to impress them or he didn’t feel jealous at the thought of them being with another boy. But when he thought about YN being someone else’s, he felt anxious. 

He began to feel nervous around her, stuttering when he tried to speak. His tummy would flutter when he would hear her laugh or smile at him. He couldn’t help but notice the little changes in her appearance as they grew older. He’d catch himself staring at her a little too long and Jonny raising his eyebrows at him in a questioning way, but Harry would shyly look away when he’d get caught.

Harry hadn’t admitted his feelings to anyone, until Jonny began to question him one evening after football. It was just the two of them left after the session and Jonny had caught Harry staring or acting shy around YN for a while. 

Jonny was in the middle of tying his shoe lace as Harry was putting his things into his bag. “So what’s up with you and YN?”.

Harry kept his focus on placing his stuff into the bag to avoid looking in Jonny’s direction. “I don’t know what you’re talking about”.

A scoff left Jonny‘a lip and a small chuckle. “Oh c’mon mate…you literally stare at her anytime she speaks…or shall I mention your stutter every time you talk to her”.

“I…I…I’m just confused”. Harry admitted his genuine confusion if he still saw YN as a friend or more.

“Confused about what?” Jonny didn’t understand. 

Harry stood up and glanced at his friend. “I think I like her more than just a friend.”.

“And what’s wrong with that?”. Jonny continued to question Harry, not really understanding what the big deal was.

“It’s hard because we live in the same house, it’s not easy to tell her I like her more than a friend.”. Harry was getting frustrated, he just wished the situation was simpler.

“She likes you too.” Jonny stated, almost like it was fact.

Harry’s head shot to look at Jonny. “What do you mean?”.

“YN likes you too…I can tell.”. 

“How are you so sure?”. Harry wanted to believe Jonny, but it was too good to be true.

“Just believe me man…I don’t just notice how you look at her, I see how she looks at you too.”. 

Harry had a slight smirk on his face, he couldn’t believe that maybe YN liked him more than a friend too. 

“You’ve got it bad mate…look at your face.” Jonny teased Harry.

“Oh shut up Jon…I still don’t know how to make a move though.” Harry confessed. He’d thought of everything, but nothing seemed right.

Jonny shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t over think it H…we’ve got film night tomorrow night at mine, she always sits next to you so just be casual and make your move then.”.

Maybe Jonny was right, perhaps he needed to stop putting the pressure on himself. 

---

It was Saturday which means Harry and YN were working in the bakery this morning. They both enjoyed it, it means they could still spend time together, earn money and get to joke around with the women who worked there. 

After they finished their shift at the bakery, Harry and YN walked home. Anne made them both some lunch which they both ate and chatted about school with her. 

“So where are you both going tonight?”. Anne asked Harry and YN as they finished eating their lunch, knowing that every Saturday they went to a friends house or Anne’s.

“We’re going to Jonny’s tonight for a film night.”. Harry told him mum. 

“Be careful..and if you need me to pick you both up just let me know.”. Anne spoke to the two teenagers, before they went off to their rooms to get ready. 

---

Harry and YN walked together over to Jonny’s house. On the way, YN spoke “Um..there’s a girl in my maths class..and she’s friends with this boy…but she thinks she likes him more than a friend…and she doesn’t know what she should do.”. 

Harry couldn’t help but think of the irony of what YN had just explained because that’s the predicament he was in right now. “And what did you say to her?”.

YN shrugged her shoulders as they continued to walk side by side. “I didn’t say anything…what do you think she should do?”.

Harry thought a little before he spoke, knowing he was in the exact same position as this girl. “I suppose it’s hard…because she probably doesn’t want to jeopardise their friendship…but at the same time doesn’t want to regret not telling him how she is feeling.”.

They didn’t finish their conversation as they had arrived at Jonny’s house. The others hadn’t arrived yet, meaning it was just Harry, YN and Jonny. YN excused herself to use the bathroom, leaving Harry and Jonny alone.

“Have you made your move yet?”. Jonny asked Harry, desperate to know if his friends had stopped mopping around.

Harry shook his head. “No but on the way over here…she was talking about this girl in her maths class who likes her friend more than just a friend.”.

Jonny stared at Harry, not believing how naive he was being right now. “She’s talking about herself.”.

Harry frowned his eyebrows. “What?”.

“There is no girl in her maths class who’s told her that…I sit next to YN and she doesn’t speak to anyone else.”. Jonny admitted.

Harry rubbed his hands over his face. “What is going on?”.

“H…YN was talking about herself…she wanted to see what your reaction would be”. 

Before Harry could respond YN came back into the room. “What are you guys talking about?”. YN asked, as she took the seat next to Harry.

“Nothing.” Harry was quick to say, sending Jonny a look.

Soon Noah, Fern and Jenny arrived with bags of snack and drinks ready for their movie night. 

Whilst the boys prepared the snacks and drinks in the kitchen, the girls set up the living room with blankets, pillows and duvets and a few fairy lights around the tv. The boys had chosen an action film to put on, because the girls had chosen a film the last time they had a movie night. 

The group were all laying on the floor, where the duvet, blanket and pillows had been set up. Fern and Jenny were sat together, with Noah and Jonny next to them and Harry and YN the opposite side.

Harry could feel Jonny’s eyes glancing in their direction every so often. But Harry chose to keep his eyes on the scream in front of him. He was aware how close YN was to him, he could feel their arms brushing every now and then.

He felt his phone vibrate against his leg. He thought it may have been been his mum checking on them, something she did every time they were out.

Jonny: Make your move

Harry took a glance at Jonny and shook his head at how risky that would be. But before Harry got chance to put his phone back in his pocket, another message from Jonny came up.

Jonny: Put your arm around her, a friendly cuddle won’t harm😉

Harry knew YN wasn’t a huge fan of physical affection, and that was down to her father for being so cruel to her. But for whatever reason, she never flicked Harry’s hand away if he teased her like she did when Jonny or Noah did it. 

Not wanting to think too much about it, Harry gently placed his arm around the back of where YN was sitting. He thought she may have moved away but what surprised him was when YN moved closer and rested her head on his shoulder.

Harry smiled to himself, proud that he’d actually managed to make the first step and proud that YN accepted physical affection. Jonny sent him a big thumbs up, he was proud of his friend.

YN stood up from a place a little while later, making heads turn at her sudden movement. “I’m going to get some fresh air a minute.”. Before she headed towards the kitchen and the back door could be heard opening.

“I’m going to check on her.”. Harry announced, wanting to make sure she was okay. The others agreeing, knowing it was best if Harry was the one to go. 

As Harry walked outside into Jonny’s garden, he noticed YN sitting on the garden swing. Approaching her, he asked “Hey…everything alright?”, before sitting down next to her. 

“I lied to you earlier.” YN’s voice was quiet, shame written all over it. She didn’t look at Harry once.

Harry wasn’t sure what YN was referring to. “Lied about what?”.

“There was no girl in my maths class…I was talking about myself.”.

Harry’s heart was picking up some speed at the words. He couldn’t help but remember what Jonny had said to him earlier about YN talking about herself. How did Jonny know so much?

“So you like a boy more than a friend?”. Harry didn’t want to get his hopes up that the boy YN was talking about was him. 

YN nodded as her eyes met Harry’s. “Not just a boy….you.”.

“Can I tell you something?”. Harry’s voice came out quiet, not wanting to spoil the calm atmosphere. When YN nodded, he continued. “I like you more than a friend too.”.

YN’s tense shoulders were now relaxed, a huge weight had been lifted once she realised that Harry had been feeling the same way. “Really?”.

Harry chuckled, “Yes..really…why do you think I was trying to cuddle you in there?”.

YN shrugged her shoulders, still not quite believing this was real. “Thought you may have been cold.”.

“No…it’s because I don’t want us to just be friends anymore.”. Harry confessed.

“Me either.”. YN agreed, mirroring Harry’s smile. 

Taking Jonny’s advice about not thinking too much, Harry leaned in slightly towards YN and to his relief YN followed. Their lips were gentle against each others, Harry carefully brought his hand up to rest on YN’s cheek. 

They both pulled apart and giggled at how silly they had both been this whole time, and if only they had told each other sooner.

---

After that night at Jonny’s place, Harry and YN decided it was best to keep being “friends” when they were at home. Their friends had found out pretty quickly as they were all stood peering around of the kitchen window, instead of watching the film. They had teased them when they returned inside but were also happy for their two friends.

It wasn’t unusual for Harry and YN to go for a walk together, so when the pair had announced they were going up to the bridge behind their house, Anne and Robin thought nothing of it. 

Harry was quick to interwine their hands as they walked up the path towards their favourite spot. They both enjoyed coming up to the river that was surrounded by fields and greenery. 

As they got to the river, they walked across the stones carefully, Harry helping YN across not wanting to let her fall. Harry challenged YN to see how far she could throw the stones into the water. But YN failed miserably, causing them to burst into laughter.

They continued their walk further up into the fields until they stopped to rest their legs by the trees. Catching YN off guard, as she stood against the tree, Harry held her cheeks in his hands and presses his lips to hers. The kiss become passionate, rushed and steamy compared to other kisses they had shared. 

They pulled apart when they heard some voices further down the field. They noticed a group of people walking back towards the path. “C’mon let’s go home.” Harry took YN’s hand and led them both back home. 

It was in that moment that Harry realised that Gemma had spotted them. 

Tag List: (let me know if you would like to be added) @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @harryssattelitestomper @haarrrys @hittiesontour @theekyliepage @itsmytimetoodream @harrys-flower

[its-time-to-write]

No disrespect to daddy jamie but childfree girlies want some crumbs too😩

Maybe reader and jamie babysit pheobe for a day and reader sees that jamie’s really good with her and she’s like oh fuck he probably wants to have kids of his own in the future. So inevitably she has to bring this up and she tells jamie that she doesn’t want to have children half expecting for relationship to end here but jamie’s being cool about it and it’s all good

If that’s too much feel free to ignore the details… i’ll settle for anything atp💌

Haha here you go! I forget that I have intense and incurable baby fever pretty much 24/7, and most people can’t relate😅

family that i chose

Jamie is really good with Roy’s niece, Phoebe. It’s sweet to watch them run around and antagonize each other, and usually you enjoy seeing them laugh. You love the way Jamie can unwind and seem truly carefree.

You’re not enjoying it today.

No, you’re sitting in Keeley’s backyard with a worried, far-off expression firmly affixed on your face. You’re so far off that Keeley has to call your name three times before you snap out of your thoughts and look at her.

“Where’s your head at?” she asks. “You look like someone killed your cat.”

You shake your head. “It’s nothing. I mean, it’s probably nothing. It’s not a big deal.”

Keeley settles into the chair next to you and leans toward you conspiratorially. “Roy’s got at least twenty minutes left on dinner, and Phoebe looks like she’s got a good handle on Jamie. Go on, spill!”

You shake your head again. “I just- he’s so good with her. And yeah, I like Phoebe. A lot, actually. Jamie does too and we’ve been together awhile, and it’s only a matter of time before he starts talking about having kids.”

Keeley nods, encouraging you to go on.

“I don’t want that,” you say bluntly. “I don’t want kids. I like them well enough, but I know that I know that I don’t want any of my own. I’m perfectly fine being the cool aunt who gets to send them back home to mum and dad at the end of the day. I have my own life and my own career, and I don’t see kids factoring in at all.”

Keeley asks, “So what’s the problem?” because she knows you’re ramping up to something.

You say, “I don’t want to break up with Jamie,” and Keeley nods.

“You think he’s going to dump you because you don’t want kids and you think he does.”

You slowly nod your head. “That about sums it up.”

“Have you even talking to him about it?”

You don’t respond and Keeley interprets your silence correctly. “Well then why the fuck are you worrying about something you don’t even know about? Just talk to him, babe! It’s not as scary as you think it is.”

You’d disagree. It is scary. You don’t want to lose Jamie, but you think it might be better to lose him sooner than later. Why form more of an attachment to someone who’s inevitably going to leave? —

You are decidedly not sober, but you’re also not drunk either, you’re just a happy, buzzing mix so the car ride from dinner back home is bubbly and golden. Jamie’s got some playlist on and you’re holding your hand out the window, threading it through the wind.

You’re upstairs brushing your teeth next to Jamie when you blurt out, “I don’t want kids,” then clap your hand over your mouth. That was not supposed to come out right now.

Jamie stops mid-brush and looks at you. He says, “The fuck?” all garbled through a mouthful of toothpaste.

Your face feels hot.

“I- I don’t want kids. I’ve thought about it before, and I don’t.”

Jamie spits out his toothpaste into the sink. “What makes you think I want them?” he asks, and the question is genuine.

“You’re so good with Phoebe,” you say. “Other footballers have families. Just look at the Beckhams.”

“Babe,” Jamie replies, “just because I like Phoebe doesn’t mean I want a kid. I want you, whatever that looks like.”

You say, “Oh,” in a small voice and Jamie laughs.

“Yeah, fuckin’ oh.”

“You want me?” you ask. Jamie rolls his eyes.

“Yes, you fucking nerd. What the fuck did you think we were doing here? Fucking around? We’ve been together for ages. I let you see my hair when it ain’t fucking brushed.”

That’s fair. 

“You’re proper buzzed, ain’t you?” Jamie asks. “You’re gonna have a massive fucking headache tomorrow.”

He’s right. Anything stronger than water wrecks you, but you still drink it anyway. 

“Gonna get you some water to drink before you go to sleep,” he says, then smacks your butt before heading downstairs. Keeley was right, it wasn’t as scary as you thought it was.

[blue-thief]

do you perhaps have some headcanons about mr. isagi? <3

OFC!! <3333

on top of having 2.0 vision (and well, metavision) his VVIQ score is a perfect 5

this helps him a lot with art and he's actually pretty good at it even though he's not as passionate about it as he is with football/soccer

he started drawing through doodling his favourite manga characters and he's able to recreate art styles almost perfectly

he's actually pretty careless when it comes to his schoolwork (esp for STEM) so sometimes he'll hand in incomplete work bc it looks like he's already filled in certain questions

like no. you doodled an eye instead of solving for "x"

he canonically hates science, but if he had to choose one branch as his favourite, it would be chemistry (not boring & derivative memorization like bio but not absolutely insane like physics)

something might contradict this in canon but i hc his handwriting is pretty shitty lmao

since so many sports anime characters look like him (nanase haruka, kageyama tobio, etc) i like to pretend they're all cousins and they meet up at family reunions to compete to see who's better at their respective sport

so yeah despite having no siblings he has a shit ton of cousins who he's really close to

he was conceived by accident 💀 his parents love and coddle him despite this

despite showing the exact opposite of the typical symptoms (great spacial awareness, scarily good empathy, etc) i still say he's got autism lmao. he just has a really unique type yk

his hobby is canonically walking, but i wanna expand on this a little bit

he somehow doesn't listen to music on his walks

(in fact, he doesn't listen to much music at all. that's why his fav song is from a commercial 💀)

furthermore, he rarely ever brings his phone out on walks at all. he likes being at one with his surroundings and he doesn't want his phone to distract him

which is understandable. unless we're talking about how he'll sometimes walk 2+ hours to go to a friends house AND HE DOESN'T HAVE IT?? NO GPS??? NO MAP NOTHING

he's just spent so much time walking around saitama he has a map of most of it installed in his mind

he really doesn't use his phone much at all. he has a few accounts in case he wants to check something out, but he doesn't post anything + barely follows anyone + even has a blank pfp on everything

he apparently received 0 valentine's chocolates in the previous year, but a few ppl from school had a crush on him

he's not popular or anything but some ppl over the years thought he was a genuinely sweet guy and quietly observed him from a distance

he's completely oblivious to this

his school friends all have way more romantic experience than him and they all tease him for this

he gets really frustrated about this and tries to convince himself he likes certain ppl in hopes of something sticking

when he genuinely likes someone he's oblivious to this too lmaoo

he's the type of guy to take dodgeball in PE wayyy too seriously

the first time he swore was when he was eight and got mad at his teammates for slacking off

he got in trouble for this and never swore in front of an adult ever again

(the lack of any physical adults in blue lock made him fall back on his foul mouth)

his fav class is PE in canon but i think i remember something about isagi hating baseball? that might have just been someone else's hc but yeah

he enjoys basketball and badminton, but he thinks volleyball is mid

the one time his school tried floor hockey he enjoyed it well enough

american football is just way too confusing for him

he had no backup plans in case football/soccer didn't work out, but he'd be fantastic in psychology and/or politics

[neutron-stars-collision]

Re-watching some of the interviews from the world tour and UGG he was so happy and excited for people to see the season… Honest to God he gives off so much golden retriever energy, but also at the same time, and I mean this so respectfully and nicely, he also really does give off the energy of the jock who really does mean well, but just sometimes you question how deep they go (which I guess somewhat tracks with golden retriever energy).

It really frustrates me that I feel like people give him all these ulterior motives and all this shit and really this just seems like a guy who wants to enjoy himself and enjoy his work and be proud of it. I really do wonder where the world tour and the season left him in terms of his mental health and what he wants his career to be. Because based on what we’re seeing now it’s so very different from anything he’s previously been like.

The reminder that he was so excited at the London premier for the world to see part 2, and then what people turned the next day into is genuinely my villain-origin story. I hate what they've done to him. I think he's a simple guy who loves acting, gaming, watching football and eating pasta. Plus also travelling. A normal British male in his thirties. So not an intellectual, but then not everyone has to be one. He just always seems so lovely, considerate and nice to talk to. I don't know how one can look at all the evidence, including interviews with people who know him, and go: "Oh yeah, he's got a huge ego!".

Like what the fuck?

And I do believe that the shitshow over the summer has had a negative impact on him. Hopefully he's managed to turn that over, but no one can convince me he wasn't bothered. For which I genuinely hate every person who has ever bullied him and shared untruthful things online.

[lastweeksshirttonight]

I can't believe I didn't know that a) Rob Riggle had a podcast, and b) John was on Rob Riggle's podcast in December 2023. How did I not know this. Where are all the old TDS hags, this is a day of celebration 🍾

A little breakdown below the cut for y'all:

Usually I'm not the kind of person who enjoys the banter between hosts before a podcast interview - or the rambling of a singular host - but I enjoy the dynamic between Riggle and his cohost Darren. I also enjoy Riggle shooting the shit about breaking his leg through parkour/rescuing blind children from a bus. I am not sure still if either of those things are true.

Even before John comes in, Rob talks about how he and John spent most of their time sharing a Daily Show office just doing bits with each other, which tracks. Apparently TDS was very feast or famine in terms of workload. Also, apparently Rob and I have similar approaches to procrastination, which was "realizing we can't procrastinate once we got a stressful job".

The riffing on procrastination in the Marines fucking killed me. Is it obvious that I very much vibe with Rob Riggle?

"How many times do I have to say this Riggle? You aren't a French teenager." Fucking amazing. John just fucking tears into Rob immediately upon coming in, it's fucking delightful. Crampons totally are embarrassing! (...no they aren't, I'm not remotely cool enough to think that.)

Apparently Rob once went to a pain-free dentist, got completely numbed up, came into the TDS, and was wildly incoherent. A+ decision no notes.

John gives his slant on Rob's story about them doing bits and riffs together. John mentions that he spent most of his time trying to bang out his scripts, since he was also a writer, when Rob would come in and start some sort of phone call bit, which John refused to not commit to... while finishing his actual job. TDS backstage stories always seem deeply unhinged.

The important topic in the podcast is Liverpool football. I cannot give much context here, it's been years since I watched, but John also mentions that he became a Jets fan the year the New York Giants won the Super Bowl. He seems to gravitate to sports teams based on their failure and relative geographic placement near New York. (Never stop shitting on the Mets, that's my motto.)

John's kids viewing their dad as so much cooler because he knows Rob Riggle, the guy on Holey Moley, is genuinely hilarious.

Kid Swap sounds like a great idea, what could possibly go wrong

Rob's impression of John's accent was pretty solid. John's Brooklyn accent, not so much. His acting career will get there eventually.

"Riggle, I don’t think I've ever opened a link in an email from you because I've never trusted it."

After the interview, I love hearing about Rob learning stand-up from John and John basically forcing him to do that. I knew John did this vaguely, but I'm glad to get all this background on it. Rob also says that John could go onstage with no prep and create something out of nothing, which tracks from the shows I've seen him do. Obviously John has his set but he is so whip-quick when reacting to his audience.

This was pretty quick but a really cute and fun interview, glad to get these two together again!