#like i did with the illusion councilor | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yhwhsdaughter · 3 years ago

Text

Eunuch! Bum x Queen! Reader + King! Sangwoo

word count: 4.1k

tw: sangwoo, noncon, abuse of power, misogyny, murder, cheating, degradation, choking,

Ongoing… 𐐪𐑂 °

° 𐐪𐑂 Part I 𐐪𐑂 °

Upon sliding the doors open, you were welcomed to blood spraying on your face. Droplets kissed your cheeks and if it was a calmer atmosphere, it would give the illusion of a blush. Reality, however, was much horrifying. Shocked by this, you stopped to assess the scene. Everyone was afraid to move a muscle as the king swung his sword, killing the chief state councilor with a stroke. As his body fell, more blood puddled at your feet, staining your slippers. Once the initial horror faded, you sprang forward, hugging Sangwoo’s midriff. “Your Majesty! Please stop this!” It was a brave or perhaps foolish action, interfering with your ruler. Words falling on deaf ears, he pushed you from him. The closest guard caught your form. Despite his absolute authority, killing nobles without reason, especially high ranking officers, was frowned on.

This is madness.

Your king was beauteous and cruel. A month into his ascension to the throne and he was already crumbling the ideals in which this nation was founded. Stray hairs hung around his chiseled face, tiny beads of sweat mixed with blood giving him a sadistic gleam as he grinned. Looking your way for a moment, he lazily waved at guards, “Take the Queen to her room.” Without a choice, the two of them gently nudged you from the scene. “Your Highness, please follow us.” Though their faces remained unmoving, their tone revealed their true feelings on the matter. Palm pressed against your mouth, you threw one last glance at the massacre before you. Blinking any lingering emotions, you walked away.

° 𐐪𐑂 Part II 𐐪𐑂 °

Pants filled the room as Sangwoo thrusted into you relentlessly. He was angry; even though he’d appointed new council members, he wasn’t sure he could trust them. In his mind, everyone was after his crown. You were angry as well, but for an entirely different reason.

You laid bare before your king, the fine robes that adorned your body pushed aside revealed your soft breasts; legs spread showed the path to your royal cunt. It disgusted you, thinking how many women had been in this bed, in your same position. Though the silk sheets were pristine, it could never truly wash away the sin. He grunted, “Stop overthinking. Just focus on—” he was close “—taking my seed, it’s all that matters.” Uncaring about your pleasure, Sangwoo bent you into an uncomfortable position, one that allowed his member to penetrate your walls at a deeper angle.

You allowed it.

The two of you, mostly you, were under incredible pressure to conceive. Not just a child, but a male heir. The fact that you hadn’t produced a son for the king was worrying to your mother. She wrote, often. It’s all she could talk about in her letters nowadays; there was fear in her that you would suffer as she did. Four miscarriages, three stillbirths, and then you. Highly superstitious, your mother believed that her misfortune was the price for the murder of the heirs by concubines in a fit of jealousy.

“Put a baby in me Sangwoo.”

You nearly begged, if only to end this. Making love wasn’t an option, nor your life a fairytale. No. King Sangwoo only fucked, and in the most inconvenient places too. You’ll never forget the embarrassment endured when you had tea with several noblewomen; your gracious king thought it would be appropriate to do it in a room adjacent to theirs. He bent you over a desk, throwing everything else off it, before sheathing himself inside of you. Emerging twenty minutes later, you couldn’t even look the ladies in the eyes. No one said anything, lest they lose their heads, but they knew.

Spurred by your words, Sangwoo thrusted faster and harder. “Fuuuck.” He stayed attached to you, like a dog, making sure your womb swallowed every last bit of his essence before pulling out. “Get pregnant.” Is all he said to you as he dressed again and exited the chambers. Out of breath and without a care, you laid there on the bed.

° 𐐪𐑂 Part III 𐐪𐑂 °

A life of servitude awaited YoonBum the second he was born. His poverty stricken parents sold him to be a household slave. Doomed to this fate, Bum tried his best to follow through and avoid punishments. Unfortunately, his master was a sadist and everyday, he received a beating.

After running errands, Bum stood in line to receive the bags of rice his master had ordered. It was the last thing on his list before readying to go home and continue working. Being close by, he couldn’t help but overhear several gentlemen talking, “Where is that damned village?!”

The village in question, it seems, was Bum’s hometown. Because it was a tiny place full of peasants and criminals, cartographers didn’t bother putting it on a map. Only those that came from there knew the area. Sangwoo caught him staring. Quickly glancing away, Bum only saw the man motioning to his companions from the corner of his eye. In a matter of seconds, he was facing the man. He was dressed in purple robes and a gat, symbolizing his status. “Do you know where this village is?”

Daring not to look him in the eye, Bum was slow to nod. He’d been out long enough; his master was probably marching towards the market to drag him home. “Show me.” As guessed, a heavy man came barreling in their direction. He was red in the face. “Bum!” Master Yoon screamed obscenities. Coming to a stop, he sneered at the men.

“We need your servant.”

Though the statement seemed like a request, Sangwoo’s tone made it clear that it was an order. The balding man huffed, ready to curse him out and refuse when Sangwoo showed his name tag. It was made of a cool stone, Oh Sangwoo engraved with the royal crest. The fact that was once red turned pale in realization. Meek before his ruler, Mister Yoon had no choice but to relent. “We’ll be taking him then.”

Bum felt his humanity slip away as he was given to another man so easily. With his head bowed down, he followed this strange new path forged by the man in purple robes.

° 𐐪𐑂 Part IV 𐐪𐑂 °

The Heavens decided to smile on YoonBum when he saved the king’s life.

It was an accident, really. The guards felt no threat to the approaching figure in the form of a frail, old lady who was an assassin in disguise. YoonBum saw the knife before they did, jumping in front of Sangwoo.

Adrenaline in his system, Bum didn’t realize he was stabbed till he felt warmth seeping through his rags. Looking down, red spread around the area. It hurt. Badly. Bum’s legs felt like noodles; the little energy he had left his body as he collapsed onto the dirt. Even breathing was painful. His intervention set things in motion. One of the bodyguards chased down the assassin, two stood by Sangwoo and another leant down to help him. He must’ve asked something important but Bum couldn’t hear him clearly. It’s like he was submerged underwater. The last thing he saw before his vision turned black, was Sangwoo staring at him with interest.

He woke up in the nicest room he’s ever been.

The king didn’t visit him personally but he was sent a letter. Red overtook his face as he was forced to admit he didn’t know how to read. The servant relayed the contents, stating that when he was recovered, he would serve the king closely. From someone of his birth, it was the best he could get. YoonBum suddenly felt immensely grateful; he would no longer sleep in a shed with the pigs but a real mat! The pain on his side reminded him of the price he’d paid for this position, but he was used to being hurt. At least now it served to help him.

As the moment of glee passed, Bum realized he didn’t quite know the etiquette of serving the king. Joy left his body as he wondered how he would figure it out.

Like him, Sangwoo was plagued by this constant state of unhappiness. After the attempt on his life, he would think his subjects would be glad to see him breathing but instead he got murmurs of concern. What if he’d died? Who would’ve taken the throne since there was no heir? It would’ve thrown the palace into chaos.

Their silent pleas did not go unheard. “Maybe I should have them killed. Them and their entire families—” he paused when he saw you in the gardens, smiling at one of your ladies. His heart twisted. Sangwoo couldn’t explain it, but he always got the urge to inflict pain on you. He could say it stemmed from a place of resentment. How hard was it to get pregnant? If you gave him a son, he wouldn’t be pestered by these old fucks. Not to mention, your face contorting in distress was intoxicating—not even the concubines could compete with that.

Beneath his robes, his cock twitched with excitement. Oh, how he was going to enjoy this. Approaching your unsuspecting figure, he threw a dazzling smile to your courtesans. Sangwoo knew how to use his assets advantageously. Despite the suffering he caused, people were rendered speechless by his charm and good-looks.

He was like a snake, slithering towards his prey, waiting to attack. You did not hear him coming till you saw your ladies-in-waiting bowing. Greeting him appropriately, you expressed your relief. “Your Highness, I am glad to see you unharmed.”

It’d been a while since you last saw him; when he arrived, the rumour about the assassin spread like wildfire. “My Queen, you are truly a vision. These flowers have nothing on your beauty. You are proof that absence makes the heart grow fonder.” His honeyed words felt like prodding the bees’ nest. If you weren’t careful, you would be stung.

The only times he was this affectionate was when he wanted something. He played the same lovestruck role with your father to convince him of marrying you. Sending your ladies off, Sangwoo dropped his smile. His expression was replaced with desperation. Pulling on your wrist, the two of you traversed to your quarters since they were closer. “Ah!” Thrown harshly onto the bed, you hardly had time to compose yourself before he was mounting you. “Let’s put your cursed womb to good use.” A gasp escaped your lips as he entered you without warning. Your hands formed to fists, grabbing onto the sheets for dear life. It hurts, it hurts!

“Your Majesty! Please— aaah! Be more gentle..!”

Without seeing his face, you could already picture his cruel smirk. “You were born a disappointment. The least you could do is serve your purpose as my wife and bear me an heir.” His words angered you. Managing to twist away, you tried to escape his iron grip. This only resulted in you being pushed onto your back. Sangwoo pried your legs open and realigned himself.

Slap!

Sangwoo’s eyes widened with disbelief. The stinging in his cheek somehow made his pulse beat faster. Hands wrapping around your throat, he squeezed. “You should treat your king with more reverence. It would be a shame if the nation lost its queen. Especially one who can be easily replaced.” Having been the youngest war general, Sangwoo had strength to spare. Your hands seemed small as they banged on his form, silently begging to release you.

Having your life in his hands gave him the edge he needed to cum. With a low moan, Sangwoo emptied himself inside you. In turn, you couldn’t even focus on anything else other than breathing, choking as you gasped for air that you’d previously been deprived of. Knowing that he was capable of committing the worst, death seemed better than staying by his side.

“Perhaps I am not the problem, Your Majesty.”

Your voice was raspy but it rang clear across his majesty’s mind. Your words struck deep, like a knife embedded in his brain. It created a wound that would eventually fester. “Shut up.”

As if to disprove your point, he visited every concubine, not leaving until none of them were left untouched. He needed a son, one way or another, and if you wouldn’t give it to him, he would seek it elsewhere.

° 𐐪𐑂 Part V 𐐪𐑂 °

YoonBum was mostly healed; if anything, it appeared he’d been forgotten after a week of rest. The medic was currently tending to his wound, “It's healing nicely. A few more days and you should be out of here.”

The two of them turned at the sound of the door sliding open, immediately bowing at Her Highness’ entrance.

“Your Majesty, how can I be of use?” It was a bit surprising to see you there; your medical checkup wasn’t till another month. He wondered if you were feeling ill. Fabric wrapped around your neck; the weather was tepid, even inside the palace. That’s when he noticed the purple marks that peeked from under the material. Aware of his pointed stare, you moved the scarf upwards to conceal it. “I need you to acquire these medicinal herbs for me.” Taking the list, he read it carefully. How odd. Before he could ask what they were for, you added, “Your discretion would be appreciated.”

“Of course.”

Bum sat there silently, head facing the floor when you acknowledged him. “Are you the man that saved my husband?” Snapping upwards, he sputtered before letting out a quick “Yes!” Finally having a chance to gaze at your face, Bum felt himself turning red. Dressed in the finest silks from head to toe, standing with an air of regalness, was you. Unlike the king, there was warmth in you. Being in the presence of such a being felt unreal.

At first glance, the young man seemed no different than the other servants. However, his pink cheeks reminded you of innocence that one so rarely saw in the palace, which was filled with betrayal and resentment. His disposition was kind of endearing. You hoped he would remain like this, untainted by the world. “Then I must thank you.”

At your words, Bum’s figure lowered, forehead touching the wood. “Y-your Highness is too kind!” This position caused him a stab of discomfort, applying pressure to his wound yet he refused to straighten up. Noticing, you motioned at him, “Don’t force yourself.”

With that brief interaction, you were gone.

Entering your chambers, you signaled for the maid. Unwrapping the silk bandages, you stared at the mirror. Your husband’s marks served as a reminder of who held the power in this union. The young woman kneeled before you, taking a round brush and rolling it in powder. Although her ministrations were gentle, you couldn’t help but hiss when it applied pressure to your tender skin. “Forgive this servant, Your Majesty!”

“Don’t mind it. Continue.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Part VI 𐐪𐑂 °

The king was anxious.

It was one thing for you to not get pregnant, but he’d been keeping busy and there was still no news of concubines with child. Reminded and bothered by your words, he summoned the royal physician. Sangwoo believed he wasn’t the problem, he just needed confirmation. What did you know? He wanted an expert to say that he was fulfilling his duties as king and it was everybody else that lacked.

“I’m sorry to say this, Your Highness.. but you’re infertile.”

With great effort, Sangwoo stopped himself from strangulating the doctor. It was impossible. A frown etched itself in Sangwoo’s face, his handsome features twisting into something scary. “You’re wrong.” It didn’t make sense; as a healthy male in his prime, Sangwoo shouldn’t have a problem fathering as many children as he could. There were several causes that may have caused his infertility, especially since he was a war general but the fact remained that he could not produce children.

Only an heir of royal blood could be king.

He forced the poor man to do every test available to ensure this. The result was the same. Again. And again. “You must not be doing your job right.” As the guards dragged the pleading man, a piece of paper fell from the medics’ robes during the struggle. Picking it up, Sangwoo recognized your handwriting.

“What’s this?”

There was temporary relief in the man’s face as Sangwoo stopped in front of him. “That.. the Queen requested a few me-medicinal herbs.” It didn’t sit right with Sangwoo. Why on earth would you need this shit? The physician seemed hesitant to answer his question. A rough push finally ushered him to say, “Alone these herbs are fine, but mixed..”

As requested, the herbs were delivered to you by the doctor’s assistant. The timing was perfect too. “Why didn’t your master deliver these himself?” Nervous, the boy stuttered a few excuses before asking for permission to leave. That should’ve raised flags in your head but you wanted the plan to work. You needed it to work.

The king had finally taken time out of his busy schedule to visit you, and not just to copulate. He was kind enough to accept your invitation to have a picnic at the pavilion. It was surrounded by a grand lake and vividly green trees; a true landscape.

Sangwoo arrived with a familiar man at his side. You realized you never asked for his name, though that was easily fixed when Sangwoo made a vague motion towards him. “That’s Bum.” He was dressed in green and Sangwoo in red. In comparison to their bright colors, you wore a soft pastel pink, denoting your sophisticated features.

Sitting down, you signaled the servant to begin pouring the soup. Sangwoo raised a brow, curious, “You’re not going to eat?” Listening to your response, a smile appeared on his face. “I wanted to make a special meal for Your Highness, from the bottom of my heart.” It was unnerving, the way he looked at you. Still, you never lost composure, waiting patiently for him. That is, until he asked Bum to lean down and try it. Obedient, the male did so without question. Eyes widening, you managed to stop Bum from tasting. Your hand held onto his wrist tightly—the spoon hovering centimeters from his lips. A few droplets spilled onto the wooden table. Sangwoo tilted his head to the side, innocent expression in tow. “Something wrong?”

Everything is wrong!

Sangwoo knew. You didn’t know how, but of this, you were sure. Fear is what he wanted and you weren’t going to give it to him. “This meat in this broth was especially prepared for His Royal Highness. It shouldn’t go to waste on someone else.” The tip of Bum’s ears burned from embarrassment. He was under the impression you were a benevolent queen; instead, he was reminded of his lowly status. Of course he couldn’t eat the expensive meat, a peasant like him wouldn’t know how to appreciate the flavor. The hurt on his face was evident but he turned to the king, awaiting further instructions. Sangwoo wasn’t fazed, “Don’t be silly.”

Taking the spoon, Sangwoo offered it to you.

You stared at it, unmoving. Sangwoo poked your lips, “Who else but the Queen would be worthy to try such delicacy?” He was baiting you, daring you to deny or confess. Neither was an option. Grabbing the spoon from him, you slowly opened your mouth and dropped the contents inside. Sangwoo’s eyes narrowed slightly but he said nothing. “Swallow.” Damn him to hell. Before you could do such a thing, a guard interrupted. Apparently there were news concerning Yang Seungbae, a traitor to the crown; he was spotted near a town on the outskirts of the forest.

Sangwoo hated him. More than anyone. That bastard was working hard to rally forces that would conspire against him. While things were peaceful at court, Sangwoo had felt a shift ever since the assassination attempt. His eye twitched in annoyance, though you weren’t entirely positive if it was because of Seungbae or the fact that he’d been interrupted. Sitting completely still, you watched as Sangwoo whispered to Bum before leaving. As soon as he was gone, you grabbed a handkerchief and spit out the soup. This action worries a few servants but you waved them off. “It’s cold.” They couldn’t understand as you ordered them to throw it, seeing as it was perfectly edible. Such a waste, disposing of such good meat.

Bum followed you like a lost puppy. The first night Sangwoo bedded him, YoonBum experienced true love. It wasn’t gentle; the king’s touch harbored no hatred but passion. Bum had never felt like that. It made him feel special; the ruler of the country placed his lips and strong hands on his skinny body. He had a queen, concubines, and still, he went to him. Elated couldn’t begin to describe how Bum felt. His feelings for his king were all-consuming. Since then, he’d made a promise to follow every order Sangwoo asked of him. Bum didn’t have anything against you, truly, but his loyalty laid with his king.

On their way back, they encountered Imperial Concubine Min Jieun. The crowd following her greeted you respectfully, and while she did so too, there was a triumphant smirk on her face. Nodding in acknowledgment, you continued walking, enjoying nature. The sun warmed your skin, making you forget about any worries, if only for a moment. Once the group was out of earshot, you glanced at your companion. “What was that about?” It was no secret how spoiled Min Jieun was; she was a woman of noble birth, groomed to perfection. That’s the facade she chose to wear instead of the power hungry bitch she was. Envy burned in every particle of her body. She wanted you out of the picture—she wanted to be queen and mother of Sangwoo’s children. Still, your position commanded respect. Your lady leaned in, whispering, “There’s rumors that she’s with child.”

“Oh.”

Bum watched your composed reaction with intrigue. He could understand if you held a grudge towards her. He did. You would always be first to the king, so he had to accept that. Bum knew it was the way things ran. However, he couldn’t say the same for the other concubines. They had the chance to bear Sangwoo’s child. Bum only wished he could do so too. Alas, this resentment made him feel guilty because the concubines were amicable women—well, except Min Jieun. He didn’t realize that they were shackled to this restrictive lifestyle; that they had no choice but to make the best of the situation.

“Is there something you want to say?”

Almost jumping at the sudden sound of your voice, Bum gazed around to see who you were talking to. Finding your clear eyes on him, he realized you’d seen through him. “Uh.. n-no, Your Majesty..”

“Say it.”

“How.. how does Your Majesty handle it?”

Though the question itself was vague, you got the gist. “Queens are expected to rise above such earthly emotions.” You had a solemn expression and the grip around your fan tightened, “Jealousy is futile.”

Nodding, Bum felt like he’d swallowed vinegar. This revelation left him in deep thought. Perhaps that was the difference between royals and peasants; possessiveness was quick to overtake him while you had to live with the knowledge that your husband would seek the company of others.

Hm, maybe he was right not to envy you.

° 𐐪𐑂 Part VII 𐐪𐑂 °

“The Queen has fallen ill.”

It was so sudden; you were so healthy one day and the next, chills racked your body, fever uncontrollable. The court tried to be positive on the matter but it wasn’t looking good. Sangwoo was advised to refrain from visiting you—if he got sick too, it would affect the entire nation. “I will see my wife as I see fit.”

“Open the door and step aside.”

He was like an angel of death, entering with eerie calmness. Even through the soft curtains he could see your weakened form. You looked thinner, unable to eat. The physicians tried to get you to consume anything but it was just regurgitated in minutes.

The bed dipped under his weight as he sat next to you.

“Did you eat something bad?” He caressed your face, pushing hairs away that stuck due to the sweat. Fingers tightening on the blankets, you managed to open your mouth. “Congratulations.” Lips pale and cracked, you smiled sardonically. Sangwoo wasn’t expecting that reaction. “What are you talking about?”

“I’ve heard news that Concubine Jieun is pregnant.”

A dark look crossed his face. “Is that so?” He stood, “Perhaps I should pay her a visit.” Though his tone was mocking, there was something bothering Sangwoo. Fortunately for the king, you were too woozy to think straight. Leaning down, Sangwoo placed a hand behind your neck, lifting you just a bit, enough to kiss your lips.

“Don’t die.”

#oh sangwoo #sangwoo x yoonbum #sangwoo x reader #sangwoo #yoonbum x you #yoonbum x y/n #yoonbum x reader #killing stalking yoonbum #killing stalking #ks yoonbum #ks sangwoo #yang seungbae #king x reader

605 notes · View notes

annalyticall · 2 years ago

Text

Thoughts on Mass Effect 3 and Mass Effect Trilogy

Well. It's over.

I'll keep it real with you chief, Mass Effect 3 was by far my favorite of the three games. That might be controversial given what I know about the divisive endings (basically the only thing I knew before I started these games), but as a newcomer to the series, Mass Effect 3 had a lot of what I was looking for from the previous entries. I also realized that fundamentally I can't compare these games to Dragon Age because the truth is I still like the Dragon Age games more individually but I do like Mass Effect more as a unified trilogy.

Again, I played Shiv Shepard, colonist Sole Survivor, Sentinel, and Paragon. I played her with survivor's guilt in ME1, with a burning hatred of Cerberus for bringing her back from the dead (and for the Akuze thing) in ME2, and a mix of burning hatred of Cerberus and a survivor's guilt over Earth in ME3. I don't think I ever mentioned this but I intended Shiv to be Irish/Korean, full first name is Siobhan

You see that bit of red? Those are renegade points I got every time I talked to the Illusive Man.

Major Story Decisions: Continued relationship with Kaidan, let Mordin cure the genophage, killed Councilor Udina myself with Kaidan on my side, secured peace between the geth and quarians, killed the Illusive Man myself, and chose the Destroy ending (which I'll get into later). I entered the war with 8000 war assets and the only character deaths I saw were the scripted ones (Mordin, Thane, Legion, Anderson, presumably EDI). I also beat James' 182 pull-up record.

The Pros and Cons lists are a little tricky for this one since I found a lot of the good came with some bad and a lot of the bad came with some good, but I'll try to keep it all in neat bullet points.

Pros

Satisfying Ends. From Mordin curing the genocidal disease he helped perfect to the control-hungry Illusive Man driven crazy by the same control he sought to have, everyone gets a nice and neat bow on their character arcs that had been set up since the beginning, or at least since Mass Effect 2. Honestly, playing ME3 made me like ME2 more than I had before since I could now see the consequences of my actions on the characters I grew close with in the previous game. Speaking of...

Consequences. Moreso than Dragon Age, it's fun to see how much my choices from previous games impacted my experience throughout the trilogy following a single character and her friend group. Of course, it's not going to be perfect - I AM miffed that my major game-ending decisions of ME1 and ME2 like saving the council, rewriting the geth, and destroying the collector base ultimately resulted in very little change in the story. Weirdly, it was the lesser decisions that mattered most - keeping Wrex alive, preserving the cure data in Mordin's loyalty mission, not cheating on my ME1 love interest, resolving Legion's and Tali's hostility, and reuniting Thane with his son were all very effecting choices on my story since they all add up into a pool of possible outcomes rather than dichotomous decisions (it makes sense Kaidan might trust me a little less in an armed standoff if I cheated on him I guess lol). And I appreciate that even the minimal choices were at least represented as war assets.

Gameplay. ME3 had the best gameplay of all games by far. I think it's telling when I could spend over 3 hours in the combat center just trying out different modes. Unlike in ME2, I didn't feel as restricted in playstyle with the introduction of a bonus power and a healthier shield. My favorite bonus power was Aria T'Lok's Flare, a large biotic blast critical in any fight with bunched-up enemies. I'm glad I got that one early on because it helped me survive so much of the game.

It looks good. Not that I hated the graphics in the last two games, but this one had some nice cinematic angles, richer colors, and grander set designs that made it more immersive for me to get into.

Pace and Scope. ME3 really pulled off the feeling of scale in a galaxy-wide conflict. It didn't hold back with its bang of an opening as we survive the reapers attacking Earth within the first 10 minutes, then slowly we see these behemoth machines devastate every other alien homeworld and invade more of the map in each story arc until it culminates in a grand final stand. I was worried the game would, in a sense, "nerf" the reapers since it took so much to take down just one reaper in ME1 and a single half-built reaper in ME2, but although we kill many more reapers in ME3, each one is an earned spectacle that requires either a lot of combined firepower or a giant thresher maw to do the job. Side note, I do like the irony of my sole survivor Shepard getting saved by the thing that killed her whole squad in the past.

Romance and Friendships. Listen, I don't think I've praised a Bioware game on its romance since Dragon Age Origins (Alistair my beloved) and while this game is still a little sparse in the romance department, the DLCs more than make up for it with a lot of great content for the love interests. I enjoyed the flirty, lively banter and the cute domestic scene in the Citadel DLC (Kaidan my beloved), and how worried he was about Shepard's safety in the Leviathan DLC. But even outside those addons, I liked the quiet moment shared before the final Cerberus mission, and while I typically cringe at Bioware sex scenes, I found this one to be, uh... tolerable. The romance in ME3 felt like an oasis after the lonely desert I suffered through in the last game lol. As for friendships, I loved the little platonic dates you get to go on with your squadmates both in the base game and the Citadel DLC. I never felt closer to these characters than I have here.

Cons

Contrived Means. Although I enjoyed the satisfying ends to many subplots and character arcs, I didn't enjoy the somewhat forced means it took to get there. I can forgive the last-minute sabotage that doomed Mordin to die since ultimately the end it led to was most fitting for Mordin's story. However, I took issue with a lot of the geth/quarian buildup, mostly involving Legion and the reaper codes. To be honest, I LIKED the geth being a completely alien hivemind and existing as a neutral anomaly that takes effort to understand and accept in ME2. The focus of becoming an individual (the original question the geth asked was actually "do these units have a soul", not "does this unit have a soul" as ME3 claims) undermined what I thought was compelling about Legion and the geth in the first place. Also, Legion's sacrifice felt unnecessary, especially when the reason for the reaper code upload not working was flimsy. And don't even get me started on the Citadel...

The Citadel. Holy shit, what happened there? I'm not talking about the Citadel as a location - I liked exploring the Citadel more in this game than any of the other games - I mean the Citadel as a plot device. For one, I was very surprised to learn the Citadel was the Catalyst when it was already an important plot device in ME1, where it was revealed to be a secret reaper mass relay. Now it's the key to a giant super weapon against the reapers whose original designers are never specified? Okay? But my biggest issue was that it was inexplicably "moved" by the reapers in the last mission despite millions of people living on it, then we can use it to blow up the reapers, destroying the Citadel and I assume most people still on there, so we're basically condemning millions of people to die and never get to see the impact of that decision. Granted, this is not much different than the weird 300K Batarian mass murder Shepard commits in ME2, but the difference is that these people are people we knew and spent a good amount of time helping and building relationships with throughout the game. What happened to Captain Bailey? What happened to Kolyat? The game never bothers to address that.

Kai Leng. Now, I don't expect every character to be wonderfully fleshed out. I accepted Kai Leng was just a plot device to stand in the way of Shepard and her goals, but his presence still left a bad taste in my mouth. He's never mentioned in any of the previous games, then he's introduced here as having a badass reputation despite his best move being a shield. He is so painfully one-dimensional compared to literally any other character that killing him didn't even feel good. I think it would have been cool if Kai Leng was someone else, maybe a character scorned by Shepard in the past who wanted revenge. Or, he could have been another character revived by Cerberus and abandoned in favor of Shepard, which was hinted at in his video logs but wasn't completely followed through on. I guess maybe I just wanted it to be Evil Clone Shepard from the Citadel DLC because even she was more compelling. What a waste of Troy Baker.

Let Me Speak. It's complicated because I do think ME3 has some of the strongest dialogue in the series (I didn't have the same jarring Talk No Jutsu problem as I did in ME1 because even when you're talking down a literal war, the dialogue feels earned and natural). However, the cutscenes went on noticeably longer without any input from the player character. It was frustrating since I felt like sometimes Shepard was railroaded into saying or doing something I wouldn't have chosen to do otherwise, but so is the burden of being a finale, I suppose.

Femshep Romance. Listen. I like Kaidan's romance. I like Garrus' romance. I like Liara's romance. If you chose to romance any of them in your playthrough like I did, that's great! You get a good romance. But if you're playing femshep and don't choose those 3 options... you don't. Thane dies early-ish in ME3 (which, I mean, I guess that could be good if you like inevitable tragedy) and Jacob cheats on you (which is terrible and I have NEVER seen in a video game romance before). And if you want to romance a girl? You get Liara or some minor side character, and that's it. You don't get Tali, Ashley, Jack, Miranda, or any of the several other female options that male Shepard has access to. Even in ME3, a male Shepard can romance Kaidan if they want a male companion to romance. Ashley doesn't get the same bi treatment. It's kinda sad just how limited femshep's options are for romance compared to their male counterpart.

The Synthesis Ending. Yes, I chose the Destroy Ending for rather complicated reasons that I will get into, but after watching the outcome of the other endings, I have a bone to pick with Synthesis. I discuss my opinion on the endings in a later section if you want to skip to that.

The DLC

Omega. It was fun. Not much more I can really say. I liked Nyreen as a character (and it was nice to finally meet a female turian) but I also felt her sacrifice was rather hollow. Aria grew on me and I was able to get her to spare Oleg at the end, but really, the shining star of this DLC was earning her Flare ability.

Leviathan. It's a double-edged sword because while I liked the expansion of reaper lore (and the extra dialogue with the LI and EDI) I also think that overexplaining the reaper backstory ruined a bit of their mystique. It also had strange implications for the ending, as the reaper AI explains its purpose in a more convoluted and obfuscated way than the Leviathan does, so it adds to the frustration of the limited ending dialogue choices given to call the reaper AI out on its vague statements.

Citadel. This is possibly the best DLC of any game I have ever played, I'm serious. With the exception of maybe Trespasser from Dragon Age Inquisition, never have I thought a DLC was so perfect for the story it was accompanying. Granted, I think the idea of taking forced shore leave is a little laughable when the fate of the galaxy is at stake, but I digress, the DLC was near perfect otherwise. It had fun in-jokes, meaningful time to spend with squadmates past and present, great scenes with the love interest, and, yes, I did spend 3 hours in the combat simulator just to get the rare One and Only achievement. And that pistol? It was the only thing keeping me from dying to brutes and banshees during the last Earth mission. I am not exaggerating when I say most of my enjoyment of this game actually comes from this DLC, and I consider its bittersweet ending to be the real ending for Mass Effect.

The Squad (including past Squad members)

Kaidan. Once again, I am listing the squadmates in relative order of how much I liked them, and Kaidan skyrocketed to the top within the last 30% of the game. I mean, I had to like him enough to romance him in ME1, but ME2 made me sour toward him, and even at the beginning of this game I was a little bitter that he was still so prickly about Shepard's forced involvement with Cerberus. However, after the hospital and the initial awkwardness of rekindling a strained relationship, I fell in love with his character all over again. He's not quite as deep as the other characters, true, but his human and down-to-earth presence is SO needed in a cast of complicated and eccentric aliens, and the random things he says are some of the only things I ever laugh at in this game. It almost makes me grateful for the mid-series break, because, for all the frustration, the relationship feels earned by the end. He might not surpass Alistair for top Bioware romance for me, but he comes close. Also, the unconditional reassurance he gives once realizing Shepard had actually been clinically dead and may not have been completely the same when she was rebuilt by Cerberus was so nice to get after the accusatory headache that was the Horizon mission in ME2.

Garrus. Admittedly, I don't think Garrus adds much to the narrative of ME3. Even when helping me cure the turian-ordered genophage he doesn't have much stake in the story, and then he has almost none after the genophage is cured. But that doesn't really matter when his purpose is actually just to be Shepard's rock. He is such a good friend and his presence is so comforting that I wish I could take him on every mission even if he's got nothing relevant to say. His farewell to Shepard at the end was the only other farewell besides Kaidan's that made me tear up. Shepard said it best: there is no Shepard without Vakarian.

Tali. I still love Tali, but she was shafted a bit by the lack of screen time she had in this game. It's a shame that she comes to the crew so late, although I guess it's understandable given that she's an admiral now. Still, I loved seeing her wistfulness as she dreamed of her new home on Rannoch, and her time in the Citadel DLC was very fun.

Mordin. Despite his fourth-place ranking on the list, I think Mordin is THE best-written character in Mass Effect. He has one of if not the best character arcs, and he's so likable that I can't not love Professor War Crimes. His singing as the building was falling down around him... it was so sad but a perfect way for him to go.

EDI. Her earnest and heartfelt quest to understand what it means to be human was endearing to me, and her relationship with Joker was great. I brought her along most times if Garrus or Kaidan didn't make sense to take. I am heartbroken that my chosen ending means her death, but it was a sacrifice I still decided to make, especially after she said she was willing to give her life to save the person she loved.

Liara. While I like Liara, I still feel like there's something missing in her character that I can't quite put my finger on. That said, I like the friendship she has with Shepard. There's an implication to their interactions that suggest she never stopped having romantic feelings for Shepard even after I turned her down in ME1, but I like how she still wants to be a close friend to her rather than be bitter about it.

Thane. I think the story did him justice, giving him a pivotal role to play in the amount of time he had left. The prayer read as he was dying sincerely touched me. He wasn't my favorite in ME2 but ME3 gave him a boost for me.

Legion. Despite some inconsistencies I noticed in his writing, I still like my little robot guy. RIP, buddy, sorry your sacrifice was kind of for nothing.

Grunt. Similar to Thane, ME3 (and especially the Citadel DLC) made me like Grunt more than I did upon his introduction to the series. He wasn't as important, but his enthusiastic welcome and his "last stand" made me feel like a proud mama.

Samara. I liked Samara enough in ME2 to try to flirt with her, so I was excited to see her again in this game, but unfortunately, she didn't have much to do. Then again, she doesn't really need to, given that her arc is to accept being a mother to her remaining child rather than her jailor. I still felt like there was lingering unspoken sexual tension between her and Shepard though...

Wrex. It was good to see Wrex again, and I sincerely love how the game portrays his openness to cooperation as the key to saving his people.

James. I feel like James fulfilled the Krogan Companion role for me in this game, which is: I like him, but not enough to bring him anywhere. His flirting was rather alarming to me at first since I had every intention of reuniting with Kaidan and didn't want to turn James down so early, but when it became clear that he wasn't serious about any of it, I liked playing along, though really femshep doesn't have a choice in the matter.

Javik. Don't get me wrong, Javik is incredibly interesting and I think he's a critical companion to take on a lot of missions because the Prothean perspective is so unique and necessary in some instances (seriously, how did Liara not realize her goddess looked suspiciously similar to Javik). As a person, though, my Paragon Shepard didn't really gel with him. Also, my Shepard is rather sentimental and values memories, so I may have accidentally doomed Javik to a tragic post-game death with that memory shard. Oops.

Kasumi. Speaking of dooming people with memories! I told Kasumi to keep her lover's memories last game, which felt meaningful to my Shepard at the time since it happened before Horizon and I was still playing a lovesick Shepard who missed Kaidan and could empathize with her situation. That was, uh, maybe not the right call to make, and I'm a little sad that I basically condemned Kasumi to waste away her life reliving the past.

Miranda. I don't really have a lot to say about Miranda. She lived in my game, and I thought it was a good end for her character to finally fight back against her father. But she is rather bland to me, and I almost wish they kept her the cold-hearted bitch she was introduced as, just more sympathetic. You know, kinda like...

Jack. I like Jack A LOT more in this game than in ME2. I think putting her in a teacher role was a perfect decision that displays her impressive growth as a person and her ability to overcome her traumatic past to give future generations of biotics a better life. However, she is still Jack, and her inherent abrasiveness meant I always felt like I was walking on eggshells picking dialogue options with her.

Jacob. Unlike almost everyone else on this list, I downgraded Jacob. I didn't mind him so much when I was playing, really - I liked that he was having a baby and that meant he would get the chance to be a better father than his own was, and I liked the little get-together I had with him in the Citadel DLC. I thought he was still a little boring but nothing offended me. After learning he can cheat on femshep though? Yikes, dude.

Zaeed. I wouldn't say I hated him as I did in ME2. He was just... there.

Miscellaneous. I liked Samantha Traynor MUCH more than I liked Kelly Chambers, so I was glad to see her fill the role. She was resourceful and a bit awkward but not annoyingly so. Let's just say, if I was actually in the ME universe, I'd probably be Traynor. Steve Cortez was also a great addition. I grew to care about him a lot, and I'm glad Bioware gave us a face for the person driving our shuttle around lol. Diane Allures is, uh... there. Dr. Chakwas and Joker are great as always. That goes without saying.

THE ENDINGS

I want to preface this by saying I thought the ending before the ending, aka the Illusive Man standoff, was well done. I was a renegade every time I talked to him, meaning for my last action I was able to shoot him point blank and he was able to give an ending speech about how he wished Shepard saw the Earth as he did. I thought this was an interesting angle for my Shepard to take since she was so Paragon in ME1 that she was able to talk Saren down. Having the ability to do the same with the Illusive Man and not taking it gave me the chance to show some growth in my Shepard, finally willing to put her foot down and abandon the moral high ground when dealing with the person who both resurrected and ruined her life.

Now to the final endings. I will not be discussing the Control ending, as I immediately dismissed it as a possibility. It was what the Illusive Man wanted, and if my Shepard was anything, she was staunchly contrarian to Illusive Man's ideology. That's to say nothing of what I think of it, which is - eh. I think it's a good ending for a renegade Shepard, and possibly a paragon Shepard that wasn't as anti-Illusive Man as mine was. Still, the other two endings are what I want to talk about.

I will also not be calling the reaper AI the Star Child because I think it's misleading. To me, the child-like appearance seemed like a ploy to appeal to Shepard, and I didn't want to forget that this is essentially the same AI that appeared on the Arrival DLC asteroid I hurtled into a mass relay just to tell me he was going to destroy me. With that in mind, when he gave me my options and explained what synthesis would mean, I took a long, long time deliberating on what to do. The game presents this option as the unquestioningly best one to take. After all, it's the hardest ending to obtain, it's the option the reaper AI clearly favors, and it's the default platform you're standing on when it comes time to choose.

But here's the problem: if I were Shepard, even a paragon Shepard, even a Shepard who loves EDI and respects the geth, as mine did, I would not choose Synthesis. Because I can't trust that what he says would happen. I asked him why it would work this time around when all their other attempts at synthesis were horrific failures, and all he said was "they were not ready. You are ready." Even for a seemingly all-knowing AI, that's not enough to convince me to fling my body into a particle beam and potentially give up on this one and only chance to stop the reapers for good. Of course, as a player, I can use context clues to know that it WOULD happen. I'm playing a video game after all, and this choice is presented honestly to the player. But I decided to think as Shepard at that moment, not as myself.

He's also... wrong. He says conflict with synthetic life is inevitable, but it isn't. My Shepard knows this. She obtained peace between the quarians and the geth, and she's watched as EDI grew into her own kind and compassionate human consciousness. So while it sucks that they will have to die in the destroy ending, I ultimately chose it because 1) my Shepard can actually see it happen and know that she sacrificed her life for something real, not just a promise of what could happen, 2) destroying the reapers was what the whole galaxy unified to do and they didn't agree to anything else, and 3) destroying the reapers gives organic life a second chance to live and learn from their mistakes and to do better by synthetic life in the future. Maybe, in the wake of Shepard's sacrifice, the galaxy would see that they can work together, and ensure any future synthetic life will never be abused as the geth were.

But there was another reason I didn't choose Synthesis: it didn't make sense. I'm not talking about its practical application, although the space magic it takes to imbue technology into the DNA of every living organism in the galaxy is a little hard to stomach even by Mass Effect standards. I'm talking about its thematic purpose. Throughout all of Mass Effect, the main message has been that working together and sympathizing with people fundamentally different from you is critical to making positive change in the universe, DESPITE the differences. Synthesis, as a solution, is suggesting that conflict is inevitable until you ERASE the differences. This isn't letting people take the time and effort necessary to truly learn about and understand others, this is a no-effort solution that negates that very core theme. It's like saying there would be no conflict in the world if everyone on Earth were of the same race and nationality, because, one, that isn't true, and two, that solution erases so many beautifully diverse cultures that would have existed otherwise. To me, the Destroy ending allows the galaxy to rebuild what was lost while preserving most of the diversity that is so important to keep, especially since the diversity that was lost, namely the geth, theoretically CAN be rebuilt.

There's also another thematic problem: the conflict between synthetics and organics was not the main conflict in Mass Effect. Sure, it took up a lot of screen time in ME1, but it always felt secondary to the conflict between all other organics. There were tensions between the alien council species and the humans, there was tension between the krogan and the turians and salarians, there was tension between humans and humans, there was tension everywhere you looked. Your role was to be a mediator, a shepherd. You guided the people toward a better understanding of themselves and others, and by doing that, you were able to achieve impossible things together. Synthetic life was only a piece of that puzzle. But by making the conflict ONLY about synthetics and organics, it undermines the things we learned about other organics. If this solution was only meant for the quarians and humans, maybe it would make sense - these species have already achieved AIs that they could come into conflict with. But WHY should I make this decision for the krogan, an alien species not even close to developing AI advanced enough to go to war with? Why is it fair to them that I'm rewriting their DNA to ensure they never see a war that they might have never seen anyway? Haven't they already seen enough outside meddling in their bodily autonomy?

So I chose Destroy. And since I had enough war assets, I was able to avoid mass devastation, and somehow Kaidan seems to think Shepard is still alive. Oh, look, I guess she is. Not sure how that's possible, but I'll take slim hope. Overall, I was satisfied with my ending, although I was sad that I had to deny life to the synthetics that wanted it.

Then I watched the Synthesis ending and saw that it was basically perfect. Besides Shepard dying, everything is just better. Everyone understands each other now, there's no more disease, no more death, EDI is alive, and apparently, everyone is just cool with their new DNA. It was a utopia. And I thought that kinda went against everything I saw in Mass Effect. Sure, there are good choices, and some are definitely better than others, but rarely should there be perfect or easy choices. I'm not saying Synthesis should be a bad ending, by all means, make it a good one. Make it the best one, even. But it shouldn't be perfect. Maybe some people are upset that they were genetically altered against their will (hell, my Shepard had an existential crisis about this after learning how she was resurrected by Cerberus, and it's not a fate she would have imposed on anyone anyway). Maybe the husks and other synthetics that were once organics live a hellish existence in between existences and can never reconcile with their living loved ones. I dunno, something. Like I said before: thematically, it doesn't follow what was learned in the narrative, and therefore should not be the perfect solution to problems that the solution had nothing to do with.

I want to stress that I'm not judging anyone who chose the Synthesis ending. I deliberated it a long time for a reason: it is a promising conclusion if you want to avoid Control and you want to save EDI and the geth. I totally understand that. I just think the way that choice is presented and executed by Bioware is clunky and counterproductive to the narrative. I've also seen people dismiss the Destroy ending as genocide, and I won't argue that. It IS genocide, if you consider synthetics a valid form of life in this game, as I did. But I chose it anyway because doing so would stop the reapers who were the Ultimate Genocide Machines, and if there was any situation where genocide could be justified to stop genocide, uh, I guess that would be it. Sure, Synthesis would finally give organics a chance to understand and cooperate with the reapers, but that is only on the basis that everyone fundamentally change themselves at the request of the reapers under threat of mutual annihilation. The reapers had made no effort to truly understand and sympathize with organics outside of their one-sided conversations with Shepard until this point, so I didn't really feel bad I was killing them all, to be honest with you.

Okay, so, those were my thoughts on Mass Effect. This took a whole day to write. As frustrated as some parts of the game made me, I loved the rest, and I'm very glad I played it. Giving it a score like the other parts feels wrong, since I know now it's all part of a whole, but if I had to give it one, I'd say 8.5/10. I'll be missing my crew for some time, I think. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my thoughts on this franchise!

Now onto Andromeda...

#anna plays mass effect #whoo #longest thing i've ever written on this site I think #shiv shepard

18 notes · View notes

independentzaun · 2 years ago

Text

“Is she?” Voice coldly flat Silco was becoming more, and more convinced there was something off about the woman. She seemed as anxious as the others, but he felt like there was a difference. Maybe something about the eyes, or something he couldn’t quite pick out but could feel after years of similar scenes like this. It wasn’t as though this was the first time he’d attended to a problem personally after all, and fear as well as anxiety had a particular note to it. Almost a scent really. All the same he didn’t have any actual proof yet of anything, and so his attention mostly was on the man who was speaking.

Raising his eyebrows Silco almost started to make a comment that this wasn’t simply about money, but as Elise’s head moved his eyes went to her. Even in Zaun that was a noticeable response. At least to him it was. Few people could seem quite so casual while the Eye of Zaun stood before them with fresh blood on his hands. Not to mention her voice was oddly familiar to him. Silco could swear he had heard it before. Perhaps at the Last Drop? There was a memory slowly starting to move upwards. Perhaps Sevika offering a quick introduction, and a promise of a full meeting later when everyone had more time? This situation was quickly becoming odd, and the fact that the young man had said she didn’t know anything meant one of two things. Either he’d lied right to Silco’s face, or he’d been mistaken.

She’s a mage. Blood magic, and illusions.

Eyes narrowing for a second Silco finally looked right at Elise’s eyes taking full notice of them before letting out a faint almost amused sounding little hruff. “Interesting. I’d have to agree. Not entirely idiotic.” Sounding a bit contemplative he nodded. With the goods “not existing” that meant as long as they didn’t take so much at once to rid the councilor of all their profits this particular source of supplies could last as long as Noxus was at war which Noxus seemed to always be at war. It could also give him a way to blackmail the councilor in question.

“Twenty percent. Goods, not money.” He had far more use for the actual medical supplies than he did a few extra coins. Silco’s next statement was more because he found the idea oddly entertaining, and couldn’t help but want to see what reaction it would bring than anything else. It wasn’t just Jinx that could sometimes be difficult to deal with. Motioning towards Elise there was a polite, but cold smile on his face. “Delivered by her. If the goods are not delivered I will come back, and next time Sevika will be with me...or perhaps Jinx.” Looking back towards the other two still standing his eyes narrowed. “Am I understood?”

Shifting on her feet, the mage tried to project the sense of anxiety and fear the other two were drenched in despite putting on brave faces. They were leaders, the two others that were, and like many in Zaun, they were young. The current venture was more a creation spawned by opportunistic entrepreneurship than true organizational thinking. It was one of the reasons Elise had been able to worm her way into their storage. It wasn't difficult to convince the thugs at the doors that she was a new hire; the other warehouse workers barely noticed an addition to their flock, and today was the first day she saw the people supposedly in charge. None of the two had questioned her presence, which wasn't that much of a surprise, considering they had yet to realize someone was leeching off of their wares.

Despite the mask of nerves the currently-not-white-haired woman was projecting, her eyes didn't waver as the chem-baron's heterochromatic eyes locked onto her. Instinctively her eyes narrowed, that keen glint flickering as she tried to determine if Silco saw through her disguise. There was something that much was evident, but if it was the presence of someone clearly not in charge or something else he caught on to, she couldn't tell. Fingers picking at the edge of her sleeve, a sleeve currently not visible, in thought, she waited for him to call out her disguise if he saw through it. The silence felt stretching, even if it was short, but eventually, the moment passed. Head turning a little, she glanced around, though her attention never wavered entirely from the man with the sword. There were no immediate exits, no easy way of fleeing from the scene, at least not yet.

The speech was expected, as was the violence. Even the other standing man, who probably had a closer relation to the now bleeding would-be-gang-lord, did little more than clench his fists and square his shoulders. It was evident that he wanted to move, though if it was to punch the man who had just stabbed his friend or comfort his dying partner, Elise didn't know, but she was glad that his brains won out and he stayed where he was. One life was enough for her consciousness today.

"She doesn't know anything. She's new." The man's speech was stubby and loud, almost scratching compared to the elegant speech that had just been delivered. "You want a cut, right? We can give you that. 20 percent?" Next to the man, Elise couldn't help tilting her head lazily to one side, almost bored with the conversation. The young man was afraid for his life, but there were better arguments for why Silco should allow the operation to continue. The question was if he knew her voice.

"The wares are from an illegal warehouse." Better risk it and help the man save his life. "One of the councillors is shipping the supplies to Noxus for their wars. They get a better price for…express delivery, so they take them around customs and don't pay taxes on the goods." Elise could feel the would-be leader's eyes burning into the side of her head, but she kept her eyes on the air. "Officially, none of these wares exists, so they can't be stolen." Shrugging, the mage finally looked at Silco. "It isn't an entirely idiotic plot."

#elisethetraveller #ironwithinwithout #duringarcane #sorry for the wait and for Silco being Silco lol

10 notes · View notes

twinterrors29 · 4 years ago

Text

are there any ACTUAL jedi in the fucking JEDI order???

it starts when Anakin loses his temper in the Temple as a teenager

just as he’s really starting to boil over, storming down the hall back to his quarters so Obi-Wan can calm him down like usual, a jedi he doesn’t recognize drags him with them into a nearby closet and slams the door

“what are you thinking,” they hiss, “it’s like you’re trying to get noticed!”

“...what”

“you need to hide in the Temple or you’ll get caught! you know what, here, I’ll show you”

so they give him some pointers on concealing the extent of his darker emotions, then shove him back out of the closet

confused, he continues with his life, keeping the tips in mind but never giving too much thought to the stranger who taught him

a couple of years later, at the start of the Clone Wars, a freshly-knighted Anakin arrives back to the Temple after a particularly frustrating and harrowing mission, where he had to consistently push himself beyond his past limits to keep himself and his men alive

the fighting had kicked up a lot of dust, and he had gotten blood in his eyes at least twice, so he was completely unsurprised that his eyes were still stinging hours later

he doesn’t realize there’s anything wrong until the young knight who was sent to greet him at the landing pad gapes wide eyed at him for a full ten seconds when they meet eyes

“holy SHIT,” she whispers, bodily grabbing him and dragging him back into his ship, “you can’t just SHOW UP looking like THAT! You’ll get killed the moment someone sees you!”

“um” Anakin manages

“your eyes! you have to disguise those!”

“um??” Anakin is so confused

“you know what, it’s fine, I’ll just, hide them for you until you calm back down, then you can figure out how to handle that for yourself”

and then she does...something in the Force, that makes his eyes tingle in addition to the stinging

“what was that?”

“don’t worry about it now, you need to report to the Council, and quickly get back to your rooms, I can’t hold this indefinitely”

“all...right then?”

he tries to check his reflection as she drags him up to the Council chamber, and nothing looked wrong with his eyes, they even looked less bloodshot than he had been expecting, and no one on the Council seems to notice anything amiss while he delivered his report

but not long after he gets back to his room, he realizes that the tingling has faded, but the stinging still hasn’t

a little worried, he steps into the ‘fresher and has to stop himself from shrieking in surprise

because his irises are bright yellow, rimmed with bloodshot red

eventually he manages to calm down and figure out how to recreate the tingling illusion the knight whose name he never caught had used on him, but it takes even longer before the burning fades

after that, he pays more attention to the jedi around him

he remembers that unknown jedi who had taught him how to shield his anger when he was younger, and catches glimpses of small bursts of fury while watching some of the young padawans, quickly tucked back under tight, familiar shields

he notices the strange tingle to his tongue and finger tips when someone he’s talking to is hiding something using a Force illusion, although he can never confirm what it is they’re concealing

he’s surprised when, one day, he realizes that he feels that tingling in the Chancellor’s office, but he figures it must be a weird effect from one of his friend’s collection of Force artifacts

he’s even more surprised when, over a year later, his friend confesses to being the Sith Lord behind the whole war

after the showdown in the Chancellor’s offices, where several of the Councilors revealed unexpected and impressive talents for lightning manipulation, and his pledge to Sidious, he leads the half of the 501st on Coruscant with him to destroy the Temple

just as they’re reaching the top of the steps, one of the padawans he had noticed previously runs up to him and frantically waves at him to stop

“you can’t come into the Temple like that! everyone will KNOW!!”

and Anakin just. stops.

“ARE THERE,” he yells, “ANY ACTUAL JEDI IN THE FUCKING JEDI ORDER???”

“um” the boy says, caught off guard

the troops don’t know what to say to that either, but don’t move to start firing on the padawan or attack the rest of the Temple

after all, the general did just indicate that there might not be any actual jedi in there

he’s still having a screaming breakdown on the steps an hour later when Obi-Wan and Yoda show up

#star wars #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #yoda #the clone wars #revenge of the sith #jedi #sith #the kid snuck off and started evacuating the temple btw

151 notes · View notes

altr5312916195 · 4 years ago

Text

Hi I wrote an article on Unus Annus for my school newspaper here's that:

Team Unus Annus 10 minutes before the final stream. From left to right Mark Fishbach, editor Vincent Van, editor Amy Nelson, Ethan Nestor, editor Evan (no last name given)

What if you only had one year? Would you use that time wisely, or would you overestimate your time?

These are the ever looming questions posed by the Youtube channel, Unus Annus, or translated from Latin to English, One Remarkable Year.

Mark Edward Fishbach, and Ethan Mark Darling-Nestor started the channel Unus Annus one year ago on November 15th, 2019. November, Friday the 13th, 2020, marks Unus Annus’s death. To celebrate the pair are having a long twelve hour livestream. From 12 pm to 12 am PST. In CST, Arlington’s time zone the stream will span from 2 pm to 2 am.

The pair created this self destructing channel to press the idea that time is limited, and death is inevitable. “We live our lives taking each second for granted.” “But what would you do if you knew how much time you had left?” Where the opening words of Unus Annus’s first video, posted at 12 am PST. This video set up the theme for the year to come. Through the year Ethan, and Mark challenged themselves to go further beyond what they thought they could do. “We took each day on as a new adventure, an opportunity to learn, to grow, to step out of our comfort zones. Whether it was being pepper sprayed, or making breakfast with the unlikeliest of tools, this defined Unus Annus.” Ethan wrote in his letter to the channel. But by the end of the year it seemed to grow more cryptic, and emotional.

Ethan and Mark in The Truth of Unus Annus 13 days before the end of Unus Annus

Unus and Annus in The Truth of Unus Annus 13 days before the end of Unus Annus

At face value Unus Annus was a simple channel, where two idiots tried to live life to the fullest. Now it seemed Unus and Annus were separate characters from Ethan, and Mark respectively, and as the clock ticked on Unus and Annus took over more, and more.

On October 31st, 2020, Unus and Annus took over the channel a mere 13 days before the end. “Time’s up, it’s been quite a year hasn’t it? Now it’s over. A year is many things, but it’s not forever. There are no second chances, no do overs. You had your one year. Now it’s over. It’s finally time to accept the truth.” Unus and Annus explained to Ethan, and Mark over their walkie talkies. Though Unus and Annus appeared to the viewers before, in the first video, Unus Annus. Again in This Is The End, and once more in This Is Goodbye, posted with 100 days of Unus Annus left. “The end isn’t something you need to fear anymore. You don’t need us to hold your hand anymore. You’re so much stronger than you know. You have so much potential. You have drive, you have passion, you have creativity. We’re happy to have walked this journey together with you. We’ll always be with you, in your memories. And we’ll have watched over you until the bitter end. “

This is Goodbye was a simple reminder that time was running out, and we had to use it wisely.

And boy did people use it. The Unus Annus fandom is a bustling community full of creativity. Whether in art, songs, stories, or theories the community had no end to their potential just as Unus had told us in This Is Goodbye. In the final stretch we got to experience many fun things, one of the most notable being Camp Unus Annus. A week full of videos of Mark and Ethan having fun in the woods building tents, playing team building games, learning about the dangers of nature, running from bears, and hunting for the ever illusive HeeHoo. The viewers took the idea of Camp Unus Annus very quickly. Everyone made their own character that would go to the camp, found a camp buddy as to not break the buddy system, determined what cabin they’d be in, and of course sold out the merchandise for camp.

Camp Unus Annus Councilors from left to right Evan, Ethan, Mark, Amy, Bear

Unus Annus has proven to bring people together in a wonderful way. For myself I’ve made many friends in my one year. I’ve written a story for everyone at camp that was extremely well received. Unus Annus has become a big part of many people’s daily lives in just a year! One Example is a student of Arlington high school, removedforstudent'sprivacy. I sat down with removedforstudent'sprivacy to ask her about her experience with Unus Annus

Eclipse: Why do you think Unus Annus was made?

Removedforstudent'sprivacy: I think it’s a social experiment to see how the internet has conditioned us to seeing things as permanent.

E: What is Unus Annus to you?

J: I think it’s two idiot friends putting their most random video ideas together to create what Unus Annus is.

E: What was your favorite video?

J: Probably all of Camp Unus Annus, and the escape room, but my birthday video was Being Brutally Honest With Each Other and that was sweet. I loved seeing them (Mark and Ethan) communicate and just be thankful for having their year together

E: How has the Unus Annus experience changed you?

J: 2020 as a whole changed me, and it was the perfect year for the channel. Though by the channel’s end I realized the meaning of life, and in fact I was wasting my own time watching the channel.

The night Unus Annus ended I spent it with my friend, Removedforstudent'sprivacy. It was a chaotic night for us both, but I was able to ask him some things in between watching the clock count down, and crying.

Eclipse: Why do you think Unus Annus was made?

Removedforstudent'sprivacy: I think it was to showcase the inevitability of death like they said it was.

E: What was Unus Annus to you?

T: To me Unus Annus was another lifeline. If something was going wrong and I needed to ground myself the videos were there for me.

E: How has the channel changed your outlook on life?

T:It just made me happier. I’m more interested in being alive now, Unus Annus made me think life was worth more than was I initially thought.

E: Are you ready for the end?

T: I believed I was ready for the end, but then I watched it happen. Like everyone else, I was in denial that there was no way they’d delete the channel, then they did. Some piece of me left with it, but now it’s time to get over it.

E: Did you use your year wisely?

T: No. I feel like I could’ve done better for myself. I could’ve bettered myself mentally, emotionally, and intellectually but even with the time limit I just didn’t.

And as the end drew closer I asked myself these questions. To me Unus Annus was a comfort channel. Over the year I grew more attached to Mark, and Ethan even though I’d been watching them both for years before.

Now in a way, I understand how precious time is for all of us. Ethan, and Mark gave an entire year away to us, and now they’re both jumping back into work on their own channels without much of a break. Even as the channel came to an end I was never ready, days after I’m still mourning. I don’t believe I used my time wisely either. There’s some Unus Annus videos I haven’t even seen. I still have an unfinished story people are waiting on. The clock’s run out, and there’s still things I need to do.

We live our lives taking each second for granted, but the end isn’t something you need to fear anymore. We did this year to the fullest. I was happy to walk onto the set today, we did our best, and everyone took it to heart. That’s all I wanted. See you on the other side. Memento Mori, Unus Annus. We’ll always have the memories, and the merch of course. - Mark Edward Fishbach.

Mark Fishbach, Amy Nelson (Mark’s significant other) and Ethan Nestor deleting the channel on stream

#markiplier #unus annus #crankgameplays #camp unus annus #mark fishbach #ethan nestor #camp unus annus fic #camp ua #campsona #memento mori #unus annus is over party #Amy Nelson

57 notes · View notes

higuchimon · 4 years ago

Text

[fanfic] Flesh Wound

Alit hadn't winced when Leo's blade bit into his arm, bright blood flowing free. But when Emperor Leo wiped the wound down with a wine-soaked cloth, he found himself hard pressed to stop a small yelp. Leo chuckled in amusement.

"My finest gladiator afraid of a little injury?" He teased softly, before picking up a second bowl, this one with vinegar, and carefully used that to ensure the injury remained clean. Alit kept his lips tightly pressed together, refusing to allow a single breath to pass until the sting eased off.

"I'm not afraid," he declared when it ended. "You just took me by surprise, that's all." He rolled his shoulder carefully; the wound wasn't serious, but he suspected Leo would want to wait until it healed before they sparred again.

The young Emperor merely regarded him with a hint of amusement in his eyes, before he leaned forward, whispering prayers to the gods of healing that the injury, small as it was, heal clean and quickly. Alit wasn't so sure if they would have any effect, but he wasn't sure if they wouldn't either. He'd always offered his prayers to the gods of combat, tactics, and victory. So far, they'd honored and blessed him, so he did the same to them. That was all he'd ever found necessary.

Truth to tell, he'd offered a few extra prayers at the temple of love, after the first time he and Leo came together. He'd not actually believed for quite some time that the Emperor himself had an interest in him. It seemed like some sort of wild fantasy, that someone so powerful and wealthy and so much better than he was would want him.

Alit had no illusions about what he was. He'd been born into poverty and becoming a gladiator was his only path to bettering himself. So he'd learned how to fight, and found a knack for it when it came to doing so bare-handed. For years he'd sparred against anyone who would come up against him, being sold from one person to another, finding those of wealth who would sponsor him in the arena.

It wasn't often that the Emperor himself deigned to enter the arena and when he did, whoever he fought against almost always lost. Those who found themselves victorious often ended up worse off than before. City gossip held that some of his councilors ensured that those rare victors were sold elsewhere, if not actually set up against someone in a death match. Death during the games didn't happen often but it wasn't impossible. Other methods could be used as well - wounds not treated properly or someone ambushed in the night - death struck in many ways.

But when Leo and Alit fought that first time, Alit refused to let him win without working for it, and he emerged the victor. He did wonder what might have happened if Leo hadn't held a hand out to him and said quite simply, "I'd like to fight against you again."

Alit stared at the extended hand for a few seconds, then clasped it in his own, the two of them smiling at one another, emotions flickering that flowered later. "My pleasure, Your Majesty."

So it had begun. They sparred against one another day after day, and all the best sponsors in the city politely lined up to offer Alit everything he could ever want. A few of the wealthier - but not noble - ones even made marriage offers. He'd turned them all down as politely as he could. He'd never found himself that interested in marriage. Though he did admit, in the silence of his mind, if it were possible, then he might have - no. Alit knew better than to have some dreams.

One day Leo would marry someone else. Alit suspected that their relationship would still continue, just on an even lower level than it was now. The entire court knew what he and Leo got up to. Leo was the Emperor - he could and did have anyone in his bed that he wanted. He might not be as open about it once he actually married someone, but it would continue. At least, if Alit wanted it to. Alit didn't know, in all truth.

For now, however, he didn't worry about it. Leo wasn't even betrothed to anyone else. All he had to worry about was the next time they sparred against one another.

"So when do you want to do this again?" Alit wanted to know as Leo wrapped his arm with a clean cloth. The wound barely even hurt anymore. It had been a clean hit and he'd won the fight anyway. As far as he was concerned, he could have gone up again without any problems at all.

Leo regarded him sternly however. "Not until the priests can assure me that this is healed all the way. I want you at your best." He grinned a bright grin, like the sun given mortal flesh. "It wouldn't be as interesting to fight you if you weren't doing the best you can."

Alit wasn't going to argue that, even if it mildly annoyed him. Leo guided him to a pleasant little nook where he could get some rest - rest he wasn't going to admit that he actually needed. But the sun streamed in and there was wine in a fine cup and a splendid meal waiting for the both of them. He settled down there, Leo next to him, weapon-hardened hand resting against his own skin. Alit could not have found a more perfect moment if he'd gone to search for one.

But he saw no reason to look when everything he wanted was right here with him.

The End

Notes: You know, post-canon, Leo and Alit would both be Emperors of a sort. Or both just ordinary people, either way. That could be fun to explore.

#fanfic #higuchimon write #zexal Week #YGO ZEXAL #alit x prince #prince x alit #lionshipping

10 notes · View notes

stormvanari · 8 months ago

Text

hello labyrinth runners nation

here’s the magical anime gunslinging basilisk twin who i introduced 2 months after the S2 finale’s premiere and later conjured a ennead of witches and thus the rest is history:

#the owl house #titan’s council #oc #toh oc #my art #darian vernworth #happy 2nd anniversary to the episode that boosted my Coven Head brainrot even more #bilberry flavored engie #i was originally questioned how darian’s illusion kaboom sticks work since illusions in general are not tangible:#you see in Through the Looking Glass Ruins (and maybe other eps like Labyrinth Runners) powerful illusionists like Gus can cast tangible—#illusions!#and darian is one of those ‘powerful illusionists’ tho it’s mostly functioned by his monocle scope earring that he did some tweaking on #anyone 'shot' by darian's guns will feel a sting but if the councilor is bratty then he'd cast an illusion that lets his opponents' wounds-#bleed (which is terrifyingly realistic in appearance)

4 notes · View notes

nothisis-ridiculous · 3 years ago

Text

Take Me Home Now: Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen: What's In Your Head

Set after the events of ME3.

A rewrite.

FemShepxKaidan

"So, I'm in the presence of the Commander Shepard?"

She snorted, politely forcing her eyes away from the beer he set on the side table. Focusing her sights out the large picture window, it was a nice day, so she had the glass door open onto the balcony. Roy already headed in that direction, leaning over the balcony.

"Nice view for a brig!"

"I'm not-," she huffed, of course, he was teasing, "it feels almost like the brig."

"But it's Captain Shepard now," her eyes rolled, "I suppose I should reintroduce myself. My name is Mary."

The name still felt thick in her mouth, she struggled to allow it to belong to her.

"Jane wasn't much better," Roy grumbled, looking over his shoulder and at the table, "you're still Recruit to me. Grab us a beer, and get out here."

"Aye, Aye Sir."

Mary slid beside him, taking in the view of the city under them. Her gaze found what she thought would be the direction of the Alenko residence. They drank quietly for several minutes, enjoying the silence.

"Am I getting that lecture now?"

The man snorted, "no, because I am one of those assholes that hoped you would come out of this alive. As Jane, as Mary."

It was Mary's turn to snort, "I was such an ass."

"A little," he let time drag out between his words, finishing half his beer in that time, "how did you manage to return to the Alliance after going MIA and walk out with two promotions?"

She grinned, elbowing the man, "you fucking- apparently commendable duty during a time of distress. I don't completely understand how they- I suppose." Her tone flipped, her head falling.

"Kid," it was like being called by her middle name, his shoulders drew, "you had problems, but everyone did. Everyone lost someone. The difference was when it mattered; you were there—doing what had to be done. Hell, I don't know why anyone looked up to me like I knew anything. Sure, some old Alliance training kicked in- but I was way in above my head. Setting up patrols, security, duty rosters- that wasn't me, that was you."

"I remember things differently."

Roy sighed before a half-laugh tumbled from his lips, "it all came that easy to you? I may have been the friendly face, but they knew you were the one running the show. Remember when that damn krogan attacked? Korvac didn't even bother with me, Wrex either. I was a useless old man," he flicked away her attempt to soothe him, "that's why everyone vouched for you."

Mary blushed, chugging down the rest of her beer, "I knew you had something to do with it."

"I really liked that Bailey guy," his amber eyes pointed at her until she met his gaze, "I would have liked to hear firsthand how you singlehandedly brought down the Illusive Man and restored the Citadel."

"That, that- that had hardly anything to do with me. I didn't know who he was, and he just attacked me. I just happened to throw him over a ledge and incapacitated him," Mary broke eye contact, staring at the empty bottle she rolled around in her hands, "the Keeper did most of the work. If you've heard anything honest about me- you'd know I'm shit with the technical side of things. I simply placed the spike."

"After jumping through the beam blind."

She shrugged, letting him grab the next round.

"Saving the Galaxy might have been a small part of it too."

Roy toasted to that.

"I owe you an apology for not coming clean. I should have, I just- I wasn't," Mary faltered again, her voice wavering, "it was wrong. Everything I was going through-"

He placed a hand on her shoulder, "I don't need an explanation. Or to hear why you acted the way you did. It's okay; you did what you could at the moment."

"What I could wasn't enough."

"How so?" he grasped that this wasn't about her time on Earth, not entirely.

She gestured out to the scarred city below them, luckily liquid did not spill from the bottle, "I should have made them listen better."

"You alone could force an entire Galaxy to listen to one person?"

Mary grunted, "but I could have saved more people. I'm sure you heard about the Alpha Relay mess. 304,942 Batarians. Thing is, I-"

"You what?"

"Part of me doesn't feel that sorry, watching those bastards kill my parents. My friends, everyone I knew- I," she shuddered, attempting to pull away from him, but he brought her in tighter, "did I not try hard enough because of my history?"

"That would be difficult for anyone," Roy kept his tone even, "but did you originally course the asteroid for the Relay? If you had not been there, would the same thing have happened? Worse, the Reapers would have gotten here earlier."

Mary was seeking condemnation. Hearing everything spat back at her with utter acceptance and truth was frustrating, almost patronizing at this point, "So I'm just freed from consequence? Because of some moral loophole? Letting morals get in the way of alliances and troops was worth it? Of allowing my love for the Krogan to be a wedge between the Salarians joining the war effort? It was all at the price of a simple lie. My distaste for Cereberus could have waited- I could have swallowed my pain, and maybe he wouldn't have gone looking for Reapers to give him answers.

It's all fucked, and I thought I was doing the right thing. But is sometimes doing the right thing, wrong? Like a friend said, 'Stand in the ashes of a trillion souls, and ask them if honor matters. The silence is your answer.' I could have saved more people. I should have swallowed my pride and done the smart thing!"

"You ever think the galaxy put too much of a burden on one person? You put too much of the burden on one person," Roy held her out at arm's length, trying to catch her eyes even if she would avoid it, "you learned an important lesson in all of this. Even the right actions have consequences. It won't make you feel better, but it's something to remember."

Mary sighed, deflating, "you're annoying."

She needed time to digest that, time to talk it out further.

"Right back at you, Recruit. You know how many of your friends I have been fighting off?"

"Can't be worse than the press, I'm glad they have me on lockdown." Her smile returned. Her messages must be going crazy, but she had to take reentry slowly. The constant evals and talking to counselors was enough to drive anyone mad. It was helpful but maddening. Mary couldn't deny she needed it to work out the guilt, disassociation, and convergence of indoctrination playing on her grasp of reality and the past.

It was more than she could handle when she was forced to take visits from councilors, delegates, and top military brass. Hackett could only stop so much. He wore out most of his favors during the war.

Her first interview, done after immense political and public pressure, had left her reeling for days.

"Tell them," her crew, her family, "I'm sorry. I just- I need more time."

With all her heart, Mary wanted nothing more but a happy reunion. To hug, dance, and cry with every single one of them. But seeing them all at once would be far too much to handle, and she didn't have the space to let herself ruminate (with guilt) over who she would allow back in first. With the flurry of her emotions so unpredictable, she had to wait. It tugged at her but it was for the best. Mary had to be selfish.

"I can pass that along," Roy smiled softly, finishing his second beer, "thanks for letting me visit. At least, I'm waiting patiently for the day you can be back with us. Evelyn, not so much."

"And Kaidan?"

"He's a little hurt. But hopeful."

Mary flinched, pulling her eyes closed tight, "if anything deserves you getting mad at me..."

"It's a cliche line, but loves makes us crazy."

"Tell him- I'm sorry too. That I'm working on it," she drew in her bottom lip, "feels stupid to say if this doesn't work out."

"He knows."

#shenko #fshenko #kaidan alenko #mass effect fancition #take me home

6 notes · View notes

imaramennoodle · 4 years ago

Text

younger fintan and vespera hcs (under the cut) because I enjoy this way more than I should (this turned into like a full on backstory lol):

they met on the first day of level one because there was only so many students and foxfire and everyone else seemingly already had friends or at least people to sit with at lunch

ive said this before but fintan was constantly worried about vespera's well being because she was so curious and always got in trouble

vespera was always at least a little bit taller than fintan and held it against him at every chance she got

they spent practically all of their school career in detention and didn't get kicked out only because the council wanted to have as many elves as possible in the nobility

fintan manifested a few months before vespera did which led to her being jealous for a little while afterwards because she didn't get a "cool ability" like he did

fintan also set vespera and luiza up on a date when they were all in level four. they broke up eventually but were still friends afterwards.

bronte was a couple years older than the two and kind of became an older brother figure to them both (how old is bronte in canon i forgot lol)

they graduated together and both worked in the nobility together for like 30 or so years! luiza and vespera also started dating again during this (canon is wrong on this part 😌 there's no way that luiza "found vespera unsettling" she just didn't want to admit they dated)

eventually Fintan decided he wanted to become a councilor and Vespera started working on some illusion stuff with Luiza so they didn't have as much time to hang out and talk, although they did make it a point to go to Atlantis and catch up every few months

since Atlantis wasn't sunken yet, Vespera always noticed the humans while they were there and thought they were interesting

fintan began training some other pyrokinetics in controlling their abilities, which eventually led to the accident that caused the council to ban pyrokinetics

he also resigned from the council after this since he was "officially" talentless and therefore couldn't be part of the nobility

while all this was going on, Vespera became more and more curious about humans, especially after they violated the treaty (? that's what happened right?) and she helped Luiza hide elves from them

she eventually went as far as to get a few humans that still remembered the elves to let her run some experiments on them because she said it would "give them abilities"

because vespera was both an empath and an elf, she had a hard time being ok with what she was doing, and just ended up telling herself that humans were inferior and their lives didn't matter because they would die soon anyways

fintan and vespera didn't have much contact after he stepped down from the council so he really had no idea what she had been doing

years and years and years later, after Vespera had gone from convincing herself humans were inferior to full on believing it to feeling almost no guilt for anything, her experiments were discovered

at this point, Bronte was on the council, so he suggested they find Fintan, who had been living in Mysterium as talentless, and question him at the tribunal (?? does it work like that)

fintan and vespera had had almost no contact for a long time and he was shocked when his childhood best friend, who didn't even know how to throw a punch, was accused of illegal experimentation on humans, so he showed up to the trial thinking there was some sort of mistake

obviously, there was not.

vespera was found guilty and didn't even try and deny what she had done

fintan went home that night and started thinking about everything wrong with the government he had helped (??) create

hundreds of years later, the neverseen was created and Fintan saw the perfect opportunity to help fix what had gone wrong centuries before

#did fintan found the neverseen or join it I don’t remember #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #also it starts out so fun and then gets dark so quick 😃👍 oops #Fintan Pyren #Vespera Folend

25 notes · View notes

whydidntyoushoot · 4 years ago

Text

I’m new to this fandom, but I have been a Kaidan-mancer since day 1. and yes, I do notice that some people roast him a lot, which is confusing to me at times. now I've realized that it was the way I see things that made a difference—take my first ME2 and Horizon experience as an example.

First things first, I didn’t like ME2’s story, and still don’t. I don’t like the “died and come back to life” thing, never wanted to work for TIM and am still upset that I didn’t get to choose. Just because you revived me doesn't mean that I'm bounded to work for you, I'd rather stay dead then. actually, I almost quit the game because of this. I didn’t care about most of the boring recruiting missions or saving human colonies blah blah blah, I simply focused on combat and suicide mission and looking forward to dumping TIM’s ass. oh and I didn’t buy the name “suicide mission”, TIM was intimidating me by giving it an frightening name, that was how I saw it. I know I’m a terrible commander, but who cares.

TLDR: I don’t like ME2’s setting and have never wanted to work for TIM/Cerberus. then there goes Horizon. fuck it, none of the choice voiced my mind, I never got to explain myself properly, what I wanted to say was “I’m only doing this because I don’t have a damn choice” LOL. To me it felt like Shepard was forced into a noble cause and did act like TIM’s puppet. Then I could tell that Kaidan didn’t want to step into this Cerberus shit (either), so I respected his wish and chose the plain “goodbye”, hence the “refuse to join” thing never happened to me. but was I pissed off? yes, I failed to defend myself, and didn’t enjoy Kaidan’s attitude. WHY WOULDNT YOU LISTEN TO REASON? Did I took it as a break up? yes, we couldn’t agree on a major thing(or could we?) and he walked away, it was a break up. but that felt real to me. you get the same kind of shit in real life don’t you? things don’t always go the way you want them to be, people don’t always agree with you, for a cause. that cause, in this case, is Cerberus, whom I wanted to dump completely from the moment Shep woke up in the lab, not because I cared about my integrity just like Kaidan does, but because I didn’t like being forced into doing things for someone I didn’t even know. Either way, the attitude was against Cerberus, I was more pissed at them than at Kaidan. So I believed that things COULD be talked out once given the chance, but nope, no chance in ME2, Horizon was the only screentime you got. Luckily, I knew there’s ME3, which meant that Shepard is definitely going back to the systems alliance, and I would be damned if Kaidan isn’t there. you don’t get to walk away like that Kaidan Alenko, when I’m there, I’ll beat you up, in bed, probably. then there was the letter, oh that letter. it confirmed my expectation for a further clear up and worked as an apology, and somehow made the break up a bit more uncertain. See? Communication makes a difference. I read it as a plain text, didn’t check out Sbarge’s voiceover until later. from all I could tell, Kaidan was hurt by Shepard's death, extremely confused that she came back to life but stood with the enemy, and most importantly, HE STILL CARED. Shepard wasn’t the problem, Cerberus was, of course Cerberus was. but no, I didn't like the way he handled things on Horizon, everything went ugly there, the apology was accepted but it didn't solve all the problems. When things have settled down a little, we should talk face-to-face, that is scripted in ME3, which was not hard to see, but for now I'll just focus on dealing with the crew's daddy issues and rolling my eyes at the illusive man.

there’re few things I like about ME2, but a possibility to clear the air is one of them. I don't like Kaidan's attitute, but I don't hate him for not trusting Shep or Cerberus. I was just as confused, if not more, as him when seeing Shepard died and brought back to life! and I know why we were together in the first place -- being the alliance's soldiers, fought for the same cause, and mutual attraction (to me). Whatever brought us together will hold us together, until moments like death and Horizon, that's how it goes in my book. I knew where things were heading to and there WAS a chance to rekindle the relationship, so I wouldn’t cut it out of play.

And how about Mars? I was a bit annoyed, to be honest, but that's another topic. btw the citadel coup ended up with him siding with Shepard without the speech check, even though I sacrificed the old council and the Salarian councilor was killed. He chose to believe Shep at the face of the (fake) evidence, I had nothing to complain about. And I never got "I understand why you cheated". My femShep either stay single in ME2 or start a new relationship unapologetically, without giving him any hint of getting back together in ME3 and get a "I consider you as a friend" talk, so that line is not in my script. But it does sound awful, I'm lucky that I avoided it before knowing its existence.

#kaidan alenko #mass effect #fshenko #it's amazing that this game & character made me feel this way...

6 notes · View notes

retphienix · 3 years ago

Text

My old deeds pay off by speeding this along a bit :P

He tells me to go meet a dude at the vivec high fane, then says he'll consider me the dude so long as I duel the one hold out. I'm down for that, though I'm curious if talking to the other councilors will help any? Or if he really is saying "I'm enough, just go kill that guy".

I'll find out later probably.

So before dueling or checking on the councilors I set a mark right then and there and walked my way to vivec to talk with Vivec lol

Here's the deal with Vivec.

I was 100% certain I'd hate him, no real reason, just assumed "god figure who looks full of himself, I'm gonna hate him".

Now I ain't saying I like him, but he actually didn't click any of the buttons that would make me hate him immediately.

He did a lot of that "It's up to you, I won't sway you" borderline reverse psychology on me but genuinely that helped- him not demanding jack from me and saying "Look, I'm reverting the decisions you dislike whether you want me to or not. I offer this help in your quest, if you want it or not." etc, it wasn't too bad.

Now I ain't sayin' I like him, he still very clearly views it as a full truth that's he is a god and being a god means he may not be judged- says as much, despite decisions made both before AND after godhood being suspect and flawed.

But he does admit some things were flaws or failures or mistakes, he just refuses to fully accept judgement from mortals until proven outdone which is, well it's not the worst, but I ain't liking him.

At the end of the day he says "We were wrong to become gods. We made our decisions based on what we thought was best to protect the people." and then glossing over the flaws and mistakes in his decisions because he thinks the intent was enough.

But the thing is, some of the intent kinda is, kinda. "Preserve faith so we can use that power to suppress Dagoth" is a valid idea, it's just a cold, calculating one devoid of compassion- which he says he's lost some sense of feeling and (my read) empathy in becoming a god so 'cold logic' makes sense.

Anyway, I thought I'd hate him wholly as some asshat who wants godly powers for his own goals but he seems more like some illusions of grandeur 'hero' who took on godhood for those selfish-selfless ideals and then the act of becoming a god kinda made him a cold version OF those ideals.

He's interestin'.

I killed him for fun because I'm The Stronk and because I am so tempted to make the alternative wraithguard just to have it.

I did not save.

I am not doing this I don't think.

But man, I really thought I'd get here and kill him so I could have both versions of the wraithguard, but then he started talking and I was like "wait a minute, you're supposed to be an entirely unlikable prick by virtue of writing 101 rules" and instead he's a bizarre look into what a god manifested in the mortal plane might be like.

Like the idea of good, devoid of humanity, born of selfishness.

One Hundred Percent if he's still in the game world after the main quest, I am killing him for fun before doing the expansions and calling this playthrough complete :) lol

#RetPlays #Morrowind #TES #The Elder Scrolls

2 notes · View notes

aricazorel · 4 years ago

Text

angst prompt response

12. "I failed. I promised to keep them safe and now…"

mass effect 3, Kaidan x femshep, post-thessia, 789 words

from this angst prompt list by @rpgwarrior4824

Commander Shepard stood in the War Room well after the day shift had ended. Night shift was on duty now. Not that she noticed. She’d barely left the room since speaking with the Asari Councilor and Traynor offering up a sliver of hope.

There are preparations to make. Continuity of civilization to consider. I never thought this day would come…

No one had. No one had believed an ancient race called the Reapers of all things would be worse than anything from a nightmare. How could any civilized race of sentient beings have allowed the creation of AI’s that would…

Shepard stopped herself. She knew the answers. They had come directly from a descendent of the very race that created the Reapers in the first place. The Leviathan spared no detail when it had described what had occurred would continue to occur for countless cycles to come. Now in this cycle even with the aid of those from the Prothean cycle 50,000 years before, the future looked bleak.

Cerberus had beaten them again. They had the final piece to the puzzle that might have saved them all. Without that part of the Crucible, how would they win? How would they survive? How could she keep her promise?

Shepard continued to stand at the console in the middle of the circular room, staring at the reports as they came in. With the news of Thessia’s fall, morale had fallen to an all-time low. More and more people were giving up. The progress they had made eroded before her eyes.

“Hey, Shep,” a familiar voiced called from behind him. “You should come to bed.”

She didn’t reply. She didn’t have the will to say anything. It was as if everything she had ever been was being drained from her. She felt nothing but despair as if she were broken. And nothing could fix it. Not even him.

“Kayla,” Kaidan tried again as he placed his hands on her shoulders, urging her to turn to him. “You need to come to bed. You need some rest. You can’t keep working like this.”

“What good will it do?” she finally asked looking up at him in anguish.

“Kayla—”

She balled her hands into fists, pounding lightly on his chest. "I failed. I promised to keep them safe and now…"

The great Commander Shepard began openly sob in the middle of the War Room as she buried her face in his shoulder. Kaidan held her, stroking her hair as she clung to him, offering what comfort he could. Quietly he murmured, “Kayla, you aren’t responsible for this. You are doing everything you can. You are doing more than anyone else is…”

“It doesn’t feel like its enough,” she said holding onto him tightly. It was never enough. Not three years ago. Not after the O4 Relay. Not after the Alpha Relay. Not now.

He kissed the crown of her head. “I know, sweetheart. Sometimes it feels like that and all we can do is continue to try.”

“But how can you be sure of that?” She needed something, anything to believe in at that moment.

“Because I have you,” the second human Specter replied simply as he whispered into her ear.

His voice slowly increased in both volume and confidence. “Things are bad right now. They have been before, but we made it out. We can do the same here.”

Shepard shook her head, desperately wanting to believe him but her doubts still very much present. “Kaidan, we lost Thessia and Earth—”

“And we are gonna get them back,” he said firmly, leaving no room for argument. “We have Tuchanka and Rannoch. The Turians still have Palaven. Countless other worlds are still standing, still fighting. We are still fighting. And I’ll be damned if I let the Illusive Man cause you to doubt yourself.”

She looked up at him, her tears lessening. “Kaid, I—”

“No, Kayla. You are the Commander Shepard, but you are more than that. You always have been. You believe in people. In protecting people who cannot protect themselves. You did that before the galaxy knew you as the Commander. Before I knew you. But underneath you’ve always been the same and you have never ever given up. Don’t start now.”

“Kaidan, I want to believe you.”

The L2 biotic gave her a small grin as he cupped her cheek, his thumb wiping away the remaining tears. “Then believe that you can still keep your promise and believe that we are going to kick Cerberus’ collective asses once Traynor’s lead pans out.”

She took a breath and gave him the barest ghost of a smile. “I’ll try.”

“That’s all any of us can do, Kayla. Just keep trying.”

#mass effect #angst prompt #f!shenko

10 notes · View notes

crqstalite · 5 years ago

Text

WIP Whenever

tagged by the lovely @that-wasnt-so-bad <3

tagging @ripley95things

told from the perspective of brione petrakis in 2186 just before the events of the opening scene in ME3. probably won’t actually be written until after saudade is finished, but here it is :p

Six months. Six bloody months on a station.

If this is how they planned to get her to give up Cerberus secrets, it was working. Only, it'd be about a hundred times more effective if she actually had Cerberus secrets.

Brione had never been much of a solid ground person. From as soon as she could get off Earth at the ripe age of eighteen, she preferred ships to stations. Even if said station had one of the best bars she'd ever set foot on, moving around was just her. Made for a quick escape than being a sitting duck in the embassy. There wasn't a single other planet in the Widow System to hide out on if things got dicey, and the Citadel hadn't been moved in God knew how long.

Plus, she could do without dealing with Udina day in, day out. How and why Anderson had thought it was a good idea to step down from his Councilor position, she didn't know. In her humble opinion, this was a regression for humans everywhere. Still, she'd been on 'administrative' leave for the last few months ("Just a precaution," Hackett had told her, "You'll be back on the front lines before you know it."), and getting back to work with the impending doom of more paperwork to fight was her dream.

Oh right, she wasn't allowed to give the real reason because of the political front the Councilors had put up to keep people from panicking (acting accordingly, more like). She meant Reapers. The giant cthulhus that looked more like squid coming to end humanity and the galaxy as they knew it. She was far from being a non believer of the Reapers, but her sarcasm was starting to reach a breaking point.

The light glows green on the door, and she steps inside, "Udina."

"Captain," He lifts his head from his computer, standing, "I assume you have something for me?"

"Nothing you'd want to hear, just more weird readings from the Bahak system," The door clicks shut behind her as she glances around the room. He'd confirmed there weren't any cameras or Alliance microphones in here, but it still put her on edge. Probably because being watched for a year or so by the Illusive bastard had given her a sense of paranoia. More than usual at least, "You said there were reports coming in from Sol bases?"

"There are some...concerning ones that came in only hours ago. At least from what has been passed onto me by the Alliance," His brows knit in frustration as she crosses her arms, shifting her weight off her heels for a moment, "I will admit, this must be how it feels to be Shepard, having the Council question everything you bring to them."

She pauses, "You think it's the Reapers? I was pretty damn sure it was the batarians getting bold after their relay was destroyed."

"Do not make me laugh, Captain." He deadpans, and she shrugs in response, "I'd believed the Alliance would listen closer and do something about it, but the Defense Committee had instead decided to sit on their hands and antagonize their one resource against the fight with the Reapers."

"You can't depend on the Alliance to get jack shit done, Udina. It's been sixteen years since I discovered that, and riding around with Shepard lately has only cemented that," Brione sighs, "Not even a token fleet to at least defend the Charon relay."

"The First Fleet--"

"Udina, you and I both know that won't be enough. If the Reapers pour in like I'm inclined to believe, they're going to eat us for breakfast. You must have seen how Sovereign and the Geth tore through the fleets here," She raises an eyebrow, as if to prove her point while he moves over to the window, a sound of agreement or annoyance, she can't tell, "We need Council support somewhere, and I'm not holding my breath for the Arcturus fleets to be able to pull our asses out of the fire if they do show up."

"That is the problem, if they do pour in like you believe they will, I doubt the Sol system will be their only target. We can not requisition assistance from other races at that point, to put it simply, they will not care if Palaven or Thessia is hit at around the same time. I'm very sure they will not care even if Earth is the only Council planet that is attacked," He turns back to her, "Losing Shepard to the Alliance military was a blow that could destroy us all."

"You were the one who let her go back into their hands, Udina. You could've pulled Council rank and kept her active."

"And break ties with the Alliance? Your comedy has not improved," He responds, and she groans, "Doing that would've gotten her discharged, whether it was in humanity's best interests or not. And we still need ties to them, we have not been cemented into the Council yet, their resources can only do so much."

"I see what you're getting at. I'm assuming things with Major Alenko haven't panned out yet?" She asks, eyes wandering to his sparse desk. Even though she had her own qualms with him (mostly about being called a traitor -- 'tensions running high' her ass), she could back this new idea of getting him into the Spectre program. God knew they needed another human face dealing with the Councilors before she bit Tevos' pretty blue head off, "I'm assuming you're still fishing for more human representatives."

"Discussions have been, stagnant. For someone who worked so closely with Shepard, not only willingly stealing the Normandy--"

"Udina, we all consented to staying aboard, but we didn't steal it. Wasn't that one of Shepard's topics in her trial, that she willingly was convicted of by herself?"

"Yes, I am aware," She snorts before hiding it behind a laugh when he tenderly touches the side of his head, "I am not the one holding this up in the Council chambers. I would've put your name forward but..." He trails off.

"We've had this talk before. The Council wouldn't want me, a street urchin from Earth who has a knack for getting people killed under her command," The words leave a sour taste in her mouth, but she's never been one to mince words, "Not to mention this 'pompous' undercover mission I was on for the better part of the year."

"Count yourself lucky that Anderson has such a way with words." His compliment sounds genuine, but the tone he uses says otherwise. Which, he has a point. It's the same reason she's only on leave, and not demoted. Same reason both Jeff and Citlali were still allowed aboard the Normandy to assist with retrofits. The same reason that Johansson was somewhere out doing the Alliance's bidding.

The same reason Shepard was still a Commander, "I get the picture. But we can't even get a Reaper-based audience with the Council yet?" He shakes his head, and she powers ahead, "The derelict Reaper on Mnemosyne? No one took a single look at the flight logs or scans done by the Normandy?"

"Due to the damage it took after escaping the Omega-4 relay, it has been unable to be recovered by the Council. I have half a mind to believe it is tied up in Alliance politics."

She wants to say that they wouldn't do that, and then inwardly groaned reminding herself of what they did when Shepard died. Cover-ups were not an unknown tactic, and it was often done for whatever reason, "What more are they going to need to do something about it? Another Sovereign kicking down our front door?"

#mass effect #writing wip #wip #brione petrakis #mass effect oc #oc #original character #wip whenever

11 notes · View notes