#like i can say “they're programmers they should know this” but i am also a programmer and i also fell for one once

[front-facing-pokemon]

[max1461]

Like I guess, what's the point of this discourse?

The anarchist community gardening enthusiasts talk about various motivations. Yeah, some of them say they want to bring all of civilization down, man! But it seems like most of them talk about stuff like, as I mentioned, "food autonomy". They want to have greater control over their food, where it comes from, and what's in it. And they want to acquire it by their direct effort, rather than indirectly through a production chain and so on. Are these invalid things to want? Yeah, a lot of the rhetoric that goes along with it can be silly, and I'm not saying we shouldn't correct people's factual errors. But, at a basic level, are these unreasonable things to want? No, they're fine! Maybe you don't want them, but they're fine.

A while ago everyone in this sphere of tumblr was taking turns dunking on the anarchist community gardening enthusiasts and I thought that was unfair. They're out there living their life, you know, self-actualized and doing something that makes them feel fulfilled and empowered, and everyone is dunking on them because it's an inefficient production method.

Ok, I get it. They're proselytizing the community gardening thing, saying everyone needs to do it in order to stick it to the man, and that can be annoying. And they're wrong when they say the whole economy can work this way, so if they say that it should be corrected. But they're not wrong when they say that it gives them more control over and knowledge about their food, in the sense that they care about. That claim seems reasonable! And if they value having that, it's good they can have it!

Right, so, my post was like. Well you can go read it. Basically "I think we're being unfair to people who complain about living in industrial society".

And the response to that post was much to the effect of "well, they shouldn't complain, because they can still go live in the woods and do all this pre-industrial stuff within industrial society, so the complaint is invalid".

Right, right, I agree they can do this stuff. They are doing this stuff. But you all complain when they do it! You all dunk on them for doing it! Even when they respond to their sense of dissatisfaction/alienation in precisely the way you prescribe! You see why that feels sort of annoying.

So, it's fine. You are 100% entitled to be a hater on your blog. If you want to dunk on the anarchist community gardeners that's not wrong. But this is part of why I feel alienated on tumblr. It's this feeling of like "the only valid lifestyle to want is the Bay Area programmer/STEM academic lifestyle, everything else is dumb". Well I am literally an aspiring STEM academic, but there's also more to me than that, and I don't like the dunking on everything else. It makes me feel bad. And it's not justified—as I said, these anarchist community gardeners are in fact getting the thing they want to get out of their activity. At least it seems to me. So the dunk feels aimed at the desire itself, not the efficacy of the act. It seems like an expression of "have my preferences or you're dumb".

We don't all have the same preferences!

[electrozeistyking]

You said Beanie didn't activate until three weeks shortly after N woke up. How pillbaby creation works in your au? In other stories I have read the parents transfer some of ther code to the pillbaby and they instantly wake up. So Beanie was just inactive and no one like try to throw her away when they saw no activity. Sounds mean but is like when animals lay an egg and they threw it away when it doesn't hatch when is supposed to. Also where was Beanie being kept and who was watching her while she was inactive.

Ahaha, I am not like other story writers. Just to clarify, I never said that Beanie activated three weeks after N woke up. She properly activated on the same day he woke up, then kinda didn't do anything but blink for three weeks.

So anyway. Since you asked about the creation of pill babies in Ghost Drone, I am going to once again reiterate I am not like other story writers. Forgo most everything you know about pill babies from other stories, because I up and said "haha lmao who says I need to share headcanons with people" at one point.

First off — these lil guys are first built by scratch and have a combination of their parents' code uploaded into them. It takes a few months to "work through the kinks" in their coding before they properly boot up, because they are fucking eggs and I will treat them as such. And it takes a while for eggs to hatch.

I'm not saying that pill babies hatch in Ghost Drone, though, because it's already been established they don't do that. I'm just saying I think it's funny if they took a few months to boot up. Need not question me for doing things for the sake of my own entertainment is always the answer.

I also decided it takes two months for that to happen. Why? You already know the answer, it's my sense of goddamn humour!!!

Beanie, however, was kind of a late booter. Kinda by a week at max. The numbers are not pinned down, all I can tell you is that she booted up December 8th in 3075 and that was also the day N woke up in the medical wing after the laser canon malfunction.

In fact, it should be noted that Beanie nearly didn't boot up whatsoever! Pretty sure it's speculated that N and Uzi's combined code was just that fucky that it took a few extra days for Beanie's code to finish doing whatever the fuck it was doing for two bloody months, and if it hadn't eventually sorted itself out, she'd be dead.

So. The mainline Ghost Drone AU is the timeline where Beanie decided to defy the odds and live.

While we're at it, here's some other pill baby headcanons that I have that I've never gotten a chance to share, which means I am now taking this as an excuse to share them. So buckle up, babydoll, we're doing this now.

As mentioned by the ghost drone known as Norm in the mainline fic, there is a proper way to hold pill babies, as the top of their heads is sensitive and applying the wrong sort of pressure could ruin their delicate components.

Norm also mentions that drones apparently needed a way to let parents know when they're about to fuck with their kids' programming. Hence why that happens.

Baby drones on Copper-9 are built with voiceboxes. Baby drones built by JCJenson were not, as. well. Why would you waste your money on that. JCJenson, a fucky ass company.

Baby drones also giggle at a frequency designed to encourage their parents to bond with them. Sort of rewards the parents for doing parental things, and not throwing their kid like a football the second they find themselves in danger.

Once a drone is named, it is eventually added into their code, very swanky programmer style. I swear I know what I'm talking about.

I like to imagine that the worker drones at one point originally built their pill babies by scratch, but then they needed to save their resources, so they eventually started reusing their kids' pill bodies for new babies.

You kinda just gotta transfer the first baby to their toddler body, ensure none of their code was somehow left behind, then pass it off to the next set of parents and/or reuse it. Yes I understand this sounds fucked up when you put too much thought into this but are you really expecting any less from me. Don't worry about it.

If a baby eventually doesn't boot up, you reset their code, then either try again or grieve. Yes I understand that sounds awful. Don't worry about it.

Also, before she booted up, Beanie was with her parents the whole time because turns out the nursery is optional. And then when she booted up and her dad woke up, she was with N... while he was in shock for a few weeks,

Does this make sense. Did I cover everything. Actually it turns out I don't care. I honestly just hope this answers everything because I am going to faceplant now

fuck i forgot about v. she was watching over beanie while n was out cold. okay i got it now im going to ascend now

[steventhusiast]

since i'm a day late i am speedrunning writing day 2 so i don't fall behind HAHA so this is @steddie-week day 2: bittersweet

<- day one

--

steve tapes shut a cardboard box of belongings, and takes a deep breath. he is determined to keep it together until eddie's gone. he has to.

"stevie, be honest with me. should i take the guitar covered in upside down goo with me to college?" eddie asks him from the doorway, holding up said guitar and frowning at it intensely.

steve lets out a little giggle, and smiles fondly at his boyfriend.

"eds, be honest with me. would you be able to let yourself leave it here?" he retorts, and eddie mutters something to himself, then realises steve's words and points at him accusingly.

"don't call her an it!"

and with that eddie is off down the hall and yelling at wayne to leave space in the van for his guitar, and steve lets his smile fall as he's alone with eddie's box of clothes.

he's happy for eddie, he really is. he finally managed to graduate, and got into a music programme at a college an hour and a half away. steve has been so proud of eddie ever since he admitted to him in a hushed whisper at 3am that he had let himself hope this time, had applied to some college courses. and that pride had only grown since eddie got the letter saying he got in.

but with that pride and happiness, he's also feeling sad. he and eddie have only been together for a few months. it took them a bit after the fourth coming of the apocalypse to get their shit together and start dating, but steve can't remember what life looks like without eddie by his side every day.

admittedly, they're a little codependent, but steve's scared. they're not breaking up or anything, and have committed already to a weekend schedule where one week steve drives to see eddie, and the next week eddie drives to see steve, but steve's still feeling things about the whole thing.

he just doesn't want to bring eddie down. he's so happy today, steve's never seen his boyfriend so full of self-pride. he can't be the one to ruin that.

steve hears a gentle knocking sound, and looks up to see eddie giving him a meaningful look. he's leaning against his door frame, all his weight on one foot, so steve figures he's been there for at least ten seconds, watching him look all wistful and pathetic.

"hey! finished taping up this box." he decides to try and ignore the look on eddie's face, but eddie's not having it at all.

he pushes off the doorframe and comes to sit next to steve on the edge of his stripped-bare bed.

"what's with the face, sweetheart?" eddie asks him, voice softer than usual. steve just shakes his head.

"nothing, just.. you know. you're leaving?" he stops talking for a second, lets out a long sigh, and then continues, "i don't know, it suddenly hit me you're not gonna be here a lot of the time."

eddie hums at his words, lets the confession sit there in the silence for a moment, and then shuffles closer to steve and wraps both arms around him, pushing the box of clothes onto the floor.

"now i know my boyfriend didn't just dismiss his very valid feelings as 'nothing', because that would be obscene." eddie murmurs into steve's ear from where he's settled his chin on his shoulder.

"okay, i know it's not nothing. i just don't want to bring the mood down. you're so happy, i can't ruin that."

"you having feelings doesn't ruin my day. if anything, i'm kind of glad you're sad about me leaving. does that make me an asshole?" eddie confesses, and steve gently nudges eddie off his shoulder so he can lean back and look at him in the eyes, confused.

"what do you mean?"

"you being sad means you're gonna miss me. and i sure as hell am gonna miss you, so much. so.. i don't know. it's validating?" eddie tries to explain, and then starts tripping over his words as steve doesn't say anything in response, "not that i want you to be sad! i don't know! feelings are weird and they don't make sense i just know that i'm gonna miss you like hell and-"

steve cuts eddie off with a searing kiss, and then lets their gentle hug continue.

"i'm kinda glad you're gonna miss me, too." he admits, and then they start chuckling to themselves at the slight absurdity of their conversation. they both knew they're going to miss each other, but it was nice to hear it out loud.

"that better not have been my goodbye kiss." eddie says after a few seconds, and steve makes a noise like he's not sure if he should be offended.

"i'm literally driving with you to help you unpack in your dorm."

"i'm just saying! if that was my goodbye kiss i want a refund and a redo because i know you can do better, harrington."

steve lets his forehead fall onto eddie's shoulder as he giggles to himself.

"you're so weird, munson."

"i know." they let the silence sit again for a minute, and then eddie dramatically gets up and puts both his hands on his hips, "right, these boxes aren't gonna walk themselves to the car. let's go, mister jock."

--

-> day three

[golmac]

(IF thoughts, rambly)

There must be something in the air.

In the past two weeks I've seen maybe five links to dormant and/or locked threads on intfic about the encroachment (I am rolling my eyes quite hard) of choice games upon the sacred whatever of (parser) IF. These conversations have accumulated over the years, dating back to the breakthrough success of Howling Dogs, which, no, is not a coincidence. The best (meaning worst) thread contains a poster declaring himself a supporter of G@merG@te: they're just misunderstood, he says! It's sadly relevant, since Depression Quest was a Twine game, and Twine games were supposedly not "real" IF. Or rigorous IF. Or whatever dumb thing people happened to say in those days.

It seems silly to drive people away if you're worried about the future of your hobby, but that's how that saga played out. & I guess will continue to play out.

I just realized: it's gatekeeping a discourse that is rather fixated on gates. And keys. And keeping things. Wild.

There's also quite a bit of overlap between gatekeeping IF structurally and gatekeeping IF programming languages ("Inform 7 is not a real programming language" blah blah blah). Nothing like spending a few months learning Inform 7 just to have some rando let you know that real programmers (i.e., not you) use Inform 6.

That stuff drives me crazy. *sigh*

Now that Spring Thing is basically over, I don't feel bad advocating for my game. Even if you are ambivalent about parser games, I hope that you will consider taking a look at Repeat the Ending. There is a lot to do without ever engaging with the game's engine. So far as background reading goes, there is the "Reader's Companion to Repeat the Ending" as well as the 2003 play transcript (though that contains spoilers). Should you choose to play, it is a highly polished game with built-in tutorial messages and a hint system.

If that doesn't work, I will be publishing a play transcript of the 2023 game. You could read the transcripts (2003 and 2023), the guide, possibly listen to some playlist tunes, and have a very rich understanding of what the game is about and what happens in its narrative. I will also be sharing high-resolution versions of the in-game images, so they can be accessed as well. I'll announce that release here and elsewhere when the time comes.

I'm doing all of this for accessibility reasons, but those texts will be there for anyone who is interested.

If you have any questions about my accessibility efforts, why I chose Inform 7 for Repeat the Ending, the RTE project in general, or anything else, please feel free to ask me anything, either out in the open or as an anon ask.

[princelancey]

15 Questions

Thank you for tagging me in this @f1-disaster-bi

1. Are you named after anyone?

nope! I was gonna be named gráinne after my great gran but then my parents saw 'sorcha' and liked that

2. When was the last time you cried?

I've been crying all week because of allergies, maybe? but like proper crying maybe 2 weeks ago? I have no concept of time but yeah Uni is super stressful so i've had a few stress cries recently

3. Do you have kids?

nope, and tbh the chance of me getting pregnant are super low so that'll probably stay a no

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

yes, so many. Hurling/Camogie (you should check this out its so cool, its a 3000 year old sport and played at an insane speed, the top level is still amateur), one singular day of Gaelic football (i was beyond bad, turns out i needed glasses lmao), swimming, rounders, and finally the loml Archery. I needed to keep busy as a child 😅😅

5. Do you use sarcasm?

the day i don't is the day i'm dead

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

their facial expression, trying to see how they're feeling, where is their attention at (lowkey this is a trauma thing)

7. What is your eye colour?

greyish blue, with the hazel central heterochromia

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings by a mile, I'll cry but they'll be happy tears

9. Any talents?

I'm good with my hands? does that count, I can pick up a like hands on craft thing really quickly. No party tricks though

10. Where were you born?

in the hospital across the road from my house

11. What are your hobbies?

Embroidery! I love it and am very annoyed that I don't have the time for it right now with all that's going on with uni :( I have a lance triptych that i need to finish and hopefully i'll get that started after august.

I've also gotten back into reading, fiction that is, I have spent an inordinate amount of time reading scholarly stuff, so if anyone has recommendations please share, Lance nation bookclub let's go

12. Do you have any pets?

YES! my sweet baby boy Bobby. I say baby he turned 13 in February so he's getting up there, he's a beagle and a cuddle monster. I love him to bits, he follows me everywhere, sits on my feet to be as close as possible and perfected the puppy dog eyes a long time ago (insert pictures here when i get to my phone)

13. How tall are you?

5'6" (166 or 67cm?)

14. Favorite subject at school?

easily History, I went on a did it college and am currently doing a masters in museum studies so you will not be getting me away from the old stuff. We had an amazing history teacher in secondary school, @f1-disaster-bi can attest to that and she was super encouraging and really nurtured the love of history I had so yeah, making it my job

15. Dream job?

yeah so like i said above i'm doing museum studies at the minute so the dream is the work in a museum. I'd love to work in the education side of museums, sort of a pay it forward vibe with the love of history, outreach programmes and museum events that kind of thing.

that was fun, hope you all feel like you know me a little better now <3 I'm tagging @rockingpeeble @abovecalamity and @no00000000 as always, no pressure we're all here to have fun

[iliiuan]

10 Characters 10 Fandoms 10 5 Tags

Tagged by @gunkreads

Rules: choose 10 favorite characters from 10 different fandoms -- no double dipping! Then tag 10 friends or mutuals to complete the game as well.

Top 10

Tatiana Maslany in Orphan Black - She's amazing. I love every clone she plays. I would literally be watching thinking, so-and-such hasn't had any lines recently. That's a bummer. I really like that actress. And then remember that they are all played by the same person.

Kaylee in Firefly/Serenity - she's amazingly feminine and also a badass ship engineer. It was love at first sight. What can I say?

Contessa in Worm by wildbow - I Love this character's superpower. I named my planning system after it: Path to Victory. 432 steps remaining.

The Hippopotamus in But Not the Hippopotamus by Sandra Boynton - I am the Hippopotamus. I watch from a distance and often miss out because socializing is scary. Also, this story is amazing and everyone should read it whether you have children or not.

Kosmo in Love You to Bits - If you haven't played, you should. This chubby little character is completely lacking gender identifiers imo, so I decided that they're enby. Also, they're dating a high-femme robot. The whole thing is beautiful and entertaining.

Uncle Iroh - Maybe it's because I was 40 when I first watched atla, but Iroh is the best. He drops so much wisdom and he does so in a very indirect way. He's life goals, you know?

Jemmy in Destiny's Road by Larry Niven - I am a huge sucker for the cook who saves the world, and this book delivers.

Angela Montenegro in Bones - There's a scene where Bones is saying how everyone on her team is a genius, "except Angela, of course." I chewed rocks and spit nails about it. Angela, with minimal formal training, does data mining, image manipulation, and other computer magic that normal people would require a PhD and a team of programmers to accomplish. Not a genius my ass.

Camina Drummer in The Expanse (show version) - She's the best. What can I say?

Sarah Stanley in The Story Girl by Lucy Maud Montgomery - My favorite character from childhood. I wanted to have her social abilities so badly.

Tags

@ankh-morporkianpostalworker

@apocalypticavolition

@unmarkedcards

@cannoli-reader

@quietcontradictions

And anyone else who wants to share! Tag me!

[kimbapkimbapp]

Bkdk short fic!

Summary?

They're both idiots in love who are both lost siblings and an old marriage. And class A loves to tease them (also, sassy deku)

This happens after the war, in the second-third year (does it matter lol) and yeah Katsuki and Izuku get, along?? (They really do seriously it's just teasing each other) and Katsuki calls him Izuku already. Anyways!

—Kacchan come on! You can watch it on your TV!! —Yelled an angry Izuku.

—I don't fucking care! I want a bigger screen!

—You literally have one TV stop being a jerk!

—Hah?! And so do you!

—I don't have that channel in my TV!

—Not my fucking problem!

—You're!…ugh! —He yelled in exasperation.

Surrounding them class A didn't really know if they should run away from those two or to laugh about the situation.

Of course they chose the second one.

—Yo bro why are these two fighting again? —Asked Kaminari to Kirishima while laughing.

—I don't know man, I think they both wanna see something on the TV.

—They literally are like siblings. —Said Sero.

—Me being siblings with this stupid idiot! He wish! —Shouted Katsuki.

—I would throw a microwave at you! —Answered Midoriya.

—Fucking try, you bitch!

—Are you sure you're not secret brothers or something? —Said Sero again.

—Shut up! —Both yelled in response.

—I would die before being brothers with this asshole! —Said Katsuki.

—And to think they were making progress… —Was what the class president could say about the situation.

—At least I don't prefer to watch a cooking show before an exclusive interview of the best heroes of the USA!

—Don't act like you don't like that fucking show! You All Might wannabe!

—...Still!

Class couldn't help to break a laugh. They really couldn't help it when it came to that duo, who were a perfect mix between siblings that argue for literally nothing and besties that finish each other's sentences.

—Kacchan, could you just be NICE for once and watch it in your room?

—Why do I have to be the one that goes to his room!

—Because I don't have that channel on my TV!

—Watch it on the phone then!

—It's not the same Kacchan and you know it!

—Hah?! That's why I'm gonna watch it on this gigantic TV!

—No you're not going to!

—Hell I am!

—Not if I catch the controller first!

As soon as Izuku finished saying that they both runned for their lives to the desk where it was supposed to be the controller.

But soon they realized that it wasn't there but on Jirou's hand, who was watching a random concert.

—Jirou-san!

—Ears!

—Gimme the controller! —Both yelled at the same time.

—Uh…no? —Said Jirou totally unbothered by the situation.

—Please! I'll let you finish whatever that is!

—Fucking no! Give it to me!

—Uh… First, I'm not ears. Second, this is actually boring me so here you go Midoriya. —She said while throwing the controller to him.

—What! Why him?!

—Because he doesn't call me ears and I wanna see you mad. Besides, Midoriya would kill you if you don't let him see his hero stuff, so you're welcome.— Said while walking away.

—You're a fucking asshole!

—Cry about it! —She said while hiding a little laugh.

—Jirou is a queen... —Said Kaminari.

—Shut up, you simp! And give me that, fucking Izuku!

—No! —Midoriya said while holding it close to his chest.

—Gimme that!! —Yelled Katsuki while grabbing his face as Midoriya tried his best to pull him away.

Then he had an idea and not much later than that, the blackwhip was tying Katsuki.

—Don't you mghf!!! —Bakugou lost the ability to talk when the blackwhip tied his mouth and both his legs and hands, and all he could do was squirm like a worm.

—You could've watched your programme! But now you're not going to for being a jerk! —Said Midoriya. He was not going to untie him fearing that he would take away the remote from him.

—Rule number 1, never interpose between Midobro and Hero stuff. —Said Kirishima while laughing.

—What Kacchan? You're not saying anything? —Kaminari teased him.

The truth was that yeah Bakugou was tied, but he could still make explosions. And no matter how much Aizawa prohibited him from doing that after he 'accidentally' burned one chair, he would do it if Kaminari didn't shut up.

Fortunately for both Kirishima and Kaminari, both knew that if they didn't stop, they would probably be killed, so they left the common room while inevitably laughing.

Midoriya on the other hand, calmy switched the channel to the one with the USA hero programme, while Bakugou didn't stop squirming and casually ...yelling? If it can be considered that.

It was basically their dynamic. Getting mad for the stupidest reasons, fighting a bit and then making up like the lost siblings they were.

They both liked that to be honest. They were kind of opposites, but at the same time they were so similar, reason why they got along so well (and sometimes so not). But they both liked it and felt incredibly comfortable with each other.

Izuku wasn't afraid of interacting with Katsuki like he had been in the past, Katsuki wasn't afraid of showing a little bit of his emotions to Izuku. They were improving, time to time. But at the end of the day, both cared a lot for each other and loved spending time together.

The class also knew that they were really transparent with their actions but not that much with words. They were like brothers, yeah, but some of them also realized that Bakugou and Midoriya were more like an old marriage, which was kind of cute.

Eventually, Bakugou became calmer (he would never recognize it, but he also liked the programme). And because of that Midoriya untied him.

—It was about time, bastard.

—We can still watch that cooking show if you want to. —Responded Izuku.

—Nah, this is not that bad.

—I knew you would like it! —Said Midoriya with a big grin on his face.

—Shut up idiot!

Midoriya immediately got closer and leaned his head on Bakugou's shoulder.

—Uh… Izuku?

—Wha?

—Isn't this a little bit gay? —Bakugou asked, pointing out the situation.

—No? Why would it be?

—Because you're leaning your head on my shoulder?

—And? How 's that gay?

—Whatever, at least you're not on my lap.

Immediately after saying that, Izuku leaned his head on his lap to tease Katsuki.

—Move idiot!

—Nop.

—You're an annoying bitch you know.

—And why are you caressing my hair? —He said while Bakugou touched his curls.

—That's not fucking weird! —He replied as he stopped.

—Kacchan, don't be dumb, do whatever you want to, it's not gay. Besides, it's nice when people touch my hair.

But why then Bakugou felt butterflies whenever Midoriya was touching him? Why did it felt so good to have Midoriya's breath on his thighs? Why was it so easy to get his hands lost in his hair?

Bakugou didn't have an answer, so he preferred watching the programme while ignoring the heartbeats that were growing louder.

Yo! I wrote this shitty thing at midnight so don't rlly judge it lol

ALSO English is not my first language

[msfbgraves]

Konmari day 16: goodness I think I've finished paper.

That only felt like finishing a triatlon. Or six.

Paper is really a dangerous one with 'tie-ins': I certainly haven't finished all the 'omg I ought to look into this more' going through all your personal and legal papers inspires. And because of that, it really doesn't feel like I've accomplished much at all, even though this was the toughest category for me yet. But first of all, I need to get to komono, because there are movers here come next Monday. And Marie-san says you have to get through clothes, books, and papers before you get to komono, she's very strict about this, so I have.

But I don't know if I'll be so obedient next time.

The problem with 'paper' is, that at least for me, I'm not certain what she actually means. Categorise all your papers and give them a designated spot, including pending paperwork? In that case, it should not have cost me more than half a day. I've done this for twenty years, my house is seldom overflowing with heaps of paper. It does happen, but that has nothing to do with not understanding how to sort through papers, and more with being completely overwhelmed or in pain.

But if it means: "Dealing with any and all potential issues these papers are about", well. That's... that's. I mean, Jesus. No.

I have tackled a few things, because you want to, but I've also had to look at a lot of things that A, I would not absolutely have had to look at in this detail, and B, are very painful.

I have never really liked looking back all that much.

At fond memories, yes. But I can't remember a year of my life since I've started to form memories, that aren't also filled with intense, bad memories. Three years old! Ah... remember the ear infections? And the operations? Four years old! Remember how humiliated you felt when the stronger boys held you down at recess? Six years old! Ah, I remember that doctors' visit to determine when you had to continue that Czech physical therapy programme, the one that, thirty years later, has been reclassified as medical abuse, producing symptoms commonly found in child sexual abuse survivors? Yes, I do. I remember my mother being so astonished that I'd been terrified to attend that exam. I had no desire to revisit those memories, but here we are, aren't we? Ah, a chess certificate. That's nice, I like chess. A termination of my German bank account in 2006. I suppose that can be tossed. University notices- cool. More medical records. Everywhere I look are medical records and psychological evaluations about life being just that bit too hard for a crip who never qualifies for any accomodations. Minor car collision from 2014. Joy. Ah, there is your father's will. Remember he is dead?

And something that the cancer box has made very clear to me, and the papers reconfirm: handling painful things doesn't automatically make them less painful. It's not cathartic. What it does do, of course, is make papers easier to handle and give you an overview of what you're choosing to keep - which in the case of papers is more about preventing any legal or medical difficulties. But for me, it's like looking through a life full of photos except that here, hardly any of the fun parts are recorded; photos at least sometimes show the good times. I'm hoping that I can allow myself to shelve some of these records and not take them out unless strictly necessary. It's good enough to know they're there and accessible when needed. But only when needed. Some of the things that are important simply do not spark joy.

Well at least I am allowed to move on to komono, which is why I started this whole thing.

[culttvblog]

Paul Temple: The Quick and The Dead (Seventies TV Season)

The introduction to this series of posts about 1970s TV shows can be found here:

I have very briefly touched on the Paul Temple 'franchise' on this blog's predecessor but have never yet blogged about a whole episode. I am going to have to refer you to the relevant wikipedia page for the full details of the many books, radio plays, films and these TV programmes made featuring the fictional crime writer and detective. I am also going to have to refer you to WIkipedia for the full choppy history of this TV series, because it suffered from inexplicable BBC lack of interest. The show was broadcast across four series between 1969 and 1971, and became wildly popular in Germany. The BBC for unrecorded reasons seemed to lose interest in it, and so the final series, including this episode, was rather focusless. The series then suffered from the junking policies of the time. The upshot is that the only way to experience all of the remaining available episodes of this show is to watch them dubbed into German. It's bizarre.

As it happens this fourth series episode from 1971 is an absolute cracker of a TV programme. It's like the show took all the ingredients guaranteed to make a drama successful in the seventies and mixed them up. There is a strong streak of folk horror in this one: we have inbred villagers, an ancient Pagan site, suspected current Pagan worship, all sorts of unexplained goings on, an apparent suicide, a supposedly mystified vicar, a young lad who is creepily the only child in the village and spends his days playing the organ in the church and being screamed at by his working class father... And then into the middle of this Temple and his wife Steve walk in like fashion plates and Temple blows the whole thing apart.

You'll notice that I'm making a point of being fulsome in this episode's praise first because I want to make it plain that the criticisms I'm going to make of this show don't mean I don't think you should watch it. This show is so lush and layered that it can't actually fail, but there are a few things I've found myself wondering.

A major thing is that you'll recall I said above that Paul Temple is a detective novelist and detective, and then the features I list above are not characteristic of a detective story. In that it also tends to be a bit different to many of the other episodes of the series I've seen. In fact I would go so far as to say that this is an MR James-style ghost story, rather than a straightforward Paul Temple in the mould of Francis Durbridge. If you want a more recent inspiration for the approach, you could possibly look to Hammer or one of Tigon's anthology films. You get the idea.

They made the decision, rightly, to accompany much of the programme with organ music. This was absolutely the right thing to do because it gives exactly the right horror film ethos. Some of the time we see an actual organ in an actual church being played, and the rest of the time virtually all of the interiors are sets, which is where it rather tends to go wrong in my opinion. The problem with the visuals is that this show can't decide what decade it's depicting. We see Temple and Steve dressed up to date, in synthetic fabrics, Temple with his shirt open almost to the waist, and they're standing in what looks like a set for a 1930s drama. Probably an Agatha Christie. It's the interiors of the cottages they're got wrong, and they should have done what they did for the church, and show an old place with gradual additions over the years, in other words the way anyone else decorates their house. Instead what we actually get is scenes that look like they're set in the seventies and then the scenes in the cottages look as if they're set in the thirties, with nothing visually dating from before or after. This is my only real criticism of this, that it makes the change from one scene to another seem wrong.

To me this feels like a loss of interest in quality control and I have read that there were a number of ways the final series really wasn't attended to properly, and it honestly shows. You don't get that in the earlier episodes I've seen. Another example is that to a native British person it is apparent that the boy is of a completely different class from his biological father, who also comes form a completely different part of the country, despite them all supposedly having been villagers since Doomsday. If you recall the Monty Python sketch about the poet father who disapproves of his coal miner son it is as ridiculous as that, only the other way round.

I suppose you could also say that there is too much going on in this show, but I personally like the sheer volume of stuff they've got in.

As I say, I don't think you should let these criticisms put you off: this is an excellent episode of a rather diverse and layered programme, which is well out of the ordinary for seventies TV shows.

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[multiple-authors]

9 August 2023

It's midday again. This morning I washed my whites (bedding and t-shirts for work), had my smoothie, went to the gym, had porridge, washed, cleaned the side table by the door and the mirror. Writing until 12:45. Whatever comes to mind. I just write and write and write. No stopping. I feel somewhat more energised today. I think working out and eating a lot has helped. Eating high protein foods. Since having the smoothies back in my diet I feel a lot better. I am excited to sleep in my fresh bedding this evening. This evening I am hanging out with Franny. I don't know what we'll do. Last night I was at home when she came back. I was making tea for myself. I was in the living room watching TV and she came and joined me every now and again. It was nice to see her. She was on her period eating coconut-based biscuits and coconut custard. I feel reassured and safe when I'm around her. I have been avoiding her because I think it's a natural trauma response for me. I also feel shameful that I'm in the financial position I'm in. This situation is very fixable though. I just need to budget and work within my means. I am learning a lot. I started to share things with her and then stopped myself. I knew we would be hanging out this evening. I am looking forward to that. We should do something nice. What should we do? Maybe we can watch something together. I think we should go for a walk. I feel so regimented in my life. Or I like routine. Or creating a routine for myself. I think I have to be careful in being too critical of this because I otherwise would be floating around without a routine, to the beat of an inconsistent restaurant rota that changes every week. There is something I am holding onto. What would it look like if I let go just a little bit? If I just follow a routine and a system I create for myself, then trust that it will take me somewhere, then, if I know that this will eventually happen, surely this certainty means there is no reason to hold on so much. I can let go a little. If a train I board is destined for the waterfall, there is no need for me to hold on white-knuckled on the edge of my seat because, trusting the driver, the tracks, the engineers, the schedule programmers (I don't know what they're called), I will eventually arrive safely. Of course there could be a horrific storm, or a tree that falls in the track, or an obstacle more broadly, or we run out of fuel slightly. There is no reason why this can't be resolved by waiting, refuelling, taking the time to rest, waiting. I will still be on route to my destination, especially with all the forces I have set in motion (the metaphorical driver, the tracks, the engineers, the schedule programmers). So if this is the case, I might as well smile more, let go, surrender. I am setting in motion my own train, driver, tracks, engineers, schedule programmers. This will happen of its own accord because life moves on inevitably and it is in my nature to make things happen. I will something to happen. It is my namesake. To carry on writing, I don't what much more to say. I will sit and paint today, and have fun. This painting will finish itself. Then I will photograph it and post it. Then I will shut down the app and act just as I wrote. I do need to write a caption for it: https://www.e-flux.com/notes/552445/everything-you-ever-wanted-to-know-about-the-phallus-but-were-afraid-to-ask-barbie Here is a draft. [I think I need to watch it first to say something]

'Permeable fantasies' Oil on linen 80 x 100 cm 2023

Not me making more marketing for Barbie... This time last year, I rediscovered the magical paintbrush she uses to make reality of her imagination in the 2002 film, 'Barbie as Rapunzel'. She paints portals to pass through: her paintings become the ultimate vision boards, simulating where she wants to go, manifesting a place or idea that's just out of reach, an alternate reality, a virtual reality. It's a tool to dip her toe in new waters, or chuck something overboard. And the paint she's using is just what she has lying around (the berry juice her talking rabbit friend brought her). Type in 'Barbie as Rapunzel - The magical paintbrush creates a portal towards the village' on YouTube to see for yourself. Criticism of the Barbie enterprise aside, at least this iteration of her taught five-year-old me something about the nature of painting. The way Barbie as Rapunzel saves herself 💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼 and gets the man along the way... 💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼 #SeeYouNextTuesday 🧨🔥💨. After the amount I've stared at her over the last few weeks, and the amount she's stared back, I have taken inspiration and am currently painting a new portal. I will be saving myself and leaving her behind.

☔️🤬☔️😤☔️🤪☔️

[bethmeds]

The copium here is kinda insane imma be honest. Them not catching this IS what makes them a bad company. The fact this was not on roll out is insane. And it being used internationally IS THE PROBLEM it's WHY this is happening. It's not just their language and definition that's everywhere. THEY as a company are everywhere. That's a huge fucking issue. Because everyone is using the same fucking servers for massive important infrastructure. This isn't just something we can be like "guys but they've done so much for us" people will DIE because of this. D I E. Am I being clear? This will have casualties. Lives will e n d. Hospitals and emergency services are fucked and clowdstrike KNOWS most of the world relys on them. But they still did this insanely fucked AI update all at once. That's not something you can just brush off as a mistake we can forgive them for

And multiple people that work in this industry have been able to say this isn't some minor thing that could have easily slipped by everyone. The amount of pure uncaring it takes to release an update like this (presumably untested) is actually insane and shows a level of disconnection from the real world it's concerning. The jokes are funny but this isn't like Y2K because programmers worked their asses off for YEARS to make sure this didn't happen. Then crowd strike released one update in the worst way to update things and destroys everything. That's not a good company. This was so preventable

We're not being anti-tech. We're being anti monopoly. No company should have one error and ruin the entire fucking world in an hour. I don't care if it's one fuck up. As you said it's a collosal one that comes from complete oversight. People aren't being anti-tech they're discussing that our world is so hinged on one system that this can happen when it shouldn't be this way. One update shouldn't ruin every fucking important industrial system in america

When things like this happen we should be questioning companies. We should be questioning why the hell one update destroyed important infrastructure. We shouldn't be complacent just cause I dunno they've "done so much for cyber security". Is this really the people you want handling your cyber security?? If they're able to do something as big an destructive as this in just one night

This was so fucking preventable in so many different ways it's genuinely insane seeing people try to dick suck clowdstrike. There's no way you can spin this that doesn't just make it look like your babying a big cooperation that doesn't give a shit about anything but money. Crowdstrick is not your friend. They do not care about anything other than profit. That's why this sudden shitty AI update was even put in with such little foresite to begin with.

(also if your still gonna defend them just like block me or something I'm not going back and forth with anyone. But I hope you realize your babying a company that could not care if you lived or died

oh and another thing. ive seen some people demonising crowdstrike and being super anti-technology and i get it but this is one fuck up. a very colossal fuck up please do not get me wrong but crowdstrike has done so much for cyber research and threat intelligence and so much else. their definitions for threat actors (fancy bear, scattered spider, etc) are used internationally, they have so much impact. god, i nearly had an internship at crowdstrike last summer (but got rejected at the last interview stage lmao). idk where im going with this but like. i know a lot of people are just learning about crowdstrike for the first time yesterday or today but imo they are not, at their heart, a bad company.

[cigaretteparfum]

this is probably a discourse that's only mostly prevalent in my homeland, but there's been an ongoing debate about whether or not telling poor people not to have kids is eugenics. and i feel like the context surrounding the subject of poverty itself is rarely given the consideration it deserves. like, if there's a social welfare programme in place and it actually reaches the people that need it the most, and the government and the society itself are actively working to try and combat poverty ... then mmmaaayybeee it's not eugenics? but if the poor are left to fend for themselves, if there's no aid and assistance in any way, shape or form, if they're actively and consistently discriminated against, criminalised, and penalised for being poor; if there's no fucking way for them to actually, like, survive and work to make their lives better because from absolutely any direction and from all angles they're constantly sabotaged by laws and social norms and what have you ... then i think at that point it's pretty fair to say that "don't have kids" is, AT THE VERY LEAST, have some eugenicist implications because the society very clearly just wants the poor to be fucking gone, lmfao.

this is mostly still just a brewing thought, though. but because poverty isn't something that is as fixed as, idk, ethnicity for which it can be a fairly black and white case, i think the approach to this topic then should also be adjusted to account for all the different factors. but people aren't doing that adjustment. (AND YES I KNOW SYSTEMIC POVERTY IS A THING am just sayiiiing that with the right course of action and aids then theoretically it is something that can be changed.)

[elixlozgamer]

Im probably gonna get a lot of hate. Im probably gonna get death threats in my ask box (again. Yes Im looking at you "kill the soldiers" anon. Speaking of which, anon will be OFF until this post stops getting notifs. Block me if you don't want to see any other opinions than you own, because I'm allowed to have them.)

Rest of PSA is below the cut. TW for mention of death threats and possible cussing.

But we do NOT need to send death threats, things with smutty themes, etc. Into a celebrities ask box all because they're gonna be on this site.

They're people just as much as we are. If you don't like them, theres a handy-dandy feature called "blocking and moving on". Not writing rude messages. Not saying "Blazing a post is a pvp attack". (Because god forbid an artist use a feature to be seen)

I understand not wanting big corps to make their way on Tumblr. Believe me, I do. However Tumblr's advertising (or at least on mobile) is easilly skippable/you can scroll past or actually look at the ad if its somewhat interesting.

Also, Tumblr sells shoelaces for 19 dollars. That should only be like three dollars, but it shows that it really does need the money. (@indigoartistqueen mentioned that, along with other various things in this article) Such as paying programmers to create new features. Paying artists to create new logos and themes. paying the employees that check out the reports. (which I am rlly sorry for them bc I just so happen to keep finding really rude comments or things shipping an 8 year old with an 1000 year old.)

So, if tumblr got a little more money, then merch will cost less. Features will cost less. You can crab someone for less for goodness sakes. (Speaking if which, if you REALLY hate a celeb that badly, run them off with crabs.) But tumblr, just like any other site and app, NEEDS money to keep it running.

Also, don't you think SOME form of algorithm will be good? Or at least better search results? Because artists do tend to use very different tags. (Like memes, funny, lmao, lol, etc.) All that could be grouped under "Funny" so that people can actually find and search for their content easier.

Not to mention that with the way the tumblr staff are, I highly doubt they're gonna be implementing things that will cause a riot from their supporters, like the algorithm, bc the blogs ARE the algorythm, reblogging stuff they like to spread it out.

But just a better tagging system! i myself have stopped posting art as much because I just DON'T get seen! People just don't like or reblog my work, but if I were to blaze it, I would suddenly have 1,000 notes full of threats and "this is a pvp attack. Everybody block on sight."

Now, getting back to the celebrity thing. So many people have said that they don't want any political opinions to divide this site. Well I'd hate to break it to you, but we have, in some form, a type of political dispute. Usually its over the type of view one should have on a fiction character. How you can interpret them. What headcanons are correct. Which fandoms better. Which characters hotter. I could go on over the disputes! Plus the political side of tumblr! Science side of tumblr! Religous site on tumblr!

It never ends! If you don't like a celebrity, DON'T SEND DEATH THREATS TO THEIR ASK BOX! Some will actually commit it! Instead, BLOCK. THEM. It's easy! Don't pay attention to it! Just block them. If you really don't like them, send a cursed image, like I don't know, Patrick Star in stripper heels! A perfect circle thats slightly off! Do NOT send threats, because they're humans just like you! (Or as a Fairy myself, xenogenders as well)

Point is, quit trying to run celebrities off this site all because you're afraid of contriversal opinions that you don't agree with! Just block them! It's there for a reason! It's not like roblox where you can only block 100 people total!

Use the block feature. Don't fight fire with fire. It will ONLY get worse. You don't see firemen using flamethrowers, do you??? No! Please for the LOVE OF WHOEVER OR WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE IN quit spreading hate! It only makes things worse! You're only making yourself worse! Just because tumblr is an anonymous site does not mean you can do whatever you want... Because guess what? There's other humans right behind that post you just saw! (Unless its a bot ofc, that's a different story for another time)

Respectfully, have a good day. If you don't like my opinion, block me. If you send me a threat, I'll block and report you.

[mack3030]

What do you think of this post? :/ I thought it’s absolutely disgusting and wanted you to tell me your opinion on this?

https://www.patreon.com/posts/59072686

I think the best way to handle this is to take this view by view as he's got a lot of opinions shared in one post and I'd like to handle it topic by topic: Issue #1 that Zero Shared: EA is spending too much time working on fixing "social issues/respresentation issues" rather than fixing more important aspects of the game. My reaction to this is a bit of "Well, why can't they do both?". Why can't EA fix the game's core features and work on making sure that representation is included? Because part of the issue is that this game is supposed to allow people to feel like they can create sims that represent them. And if those sims do not look like them, or have the ability to interact with the world like they do, that magic is lost. I also should point out that this is something that the custom content community has also had to step in and help, and that it's pretty important that the CC community, if it REALLY wants to promote representation and social awareness, should NOT paywall aand should make sure that the quality of such CC is acceptable. I was sent this screenshot of an excellent opinion shared by a BPOC simmer in Dollhouse Mafia:

But in the end, it really is up to EA to make sure that their game represents the sims/community well, especially since console folks CANNOT use CC. And if they do not have enough people to make the game excellent for everyone AND address any representation issues brought by the community, then they might need to hire more people, or dare I say it, partner with the custom content community. Electronic Arts surely has the money between all of their franchises (Fifa, sims, etc) to be able to pay for programmers and artists. If EA cannot manage to both make the game playable, and representational of real people, then they frankly don't deserve to be paid. Period. The second issue Zero brought up is the issue of the community and social justice. Now, as a member of the sims community he is certainly welcome to his opinions (even if they're misguided), but I'd like to try to share my thoughts on it. First, why does he assume that when people in the sims community speak out about social issues, they are ONLY talking to people about the sims? I don't know about you but with tumblrs tagging system, there's lots of ways to get posts seen by people outside of your own fandom. To assume that simmers only talk to simmers about social issues in sims games or in the world in general is a pretty narrow viewpoint don't you think? I'm sure the same can be said for just about any other playform that people talk about the sims on. Facebook, Twitter, Twitch, Youtube, etc. There's methods to be able to have your message reach beyond the audience of a specific game. In addition, I'd like to assume that when people talk about social issues that matter to them they are also educating other people in their life about it. For example, as an autistic person, I routinely teach my friends, family, and yes, even my students about what life is like for me with the way my brain is wired up. I am always advocating for autism acceptance. I can't turn it off. It's to the point that my students know not to use "autistic" or "retarded" as an insult in my classroom. Now, he does bring up a semi-valid point that there's more to causing change with social justice than just talking about it. Yes. Some action needs to occur. For example if you try to raise awareness for the rights of one group or another and don't take any actionable steps, then you're just expecting others to do all the work for a cause that you care about. But, for Zero to assume that this is all the community does and that there aren't members of the sims community actually going out and taking actionable steps is a big brush to paint people with. {Because imagine having the cajones to assume that you know how every person in a fandom spends their own personal time. You must be God, amirite?} There's a saying that when you assume you make an "ass" out of "you and me" which is why assume is spelled that way. And in this case we are seeing a prime example of someone making a bunch of lame ass assuptions and painting a community with a giant brush all because they're pissed that a game they don't want to play anymore isn't being updated in the way they like. Which creates some very odd and slightly nostalgic imagry in my brain:

^ Literally how I am imagining Zero acting right now, but with much more crying like an actual baby. So honestly, I'd just tell him to grow up and get over it. If he doesn't like how EA handles stuff, he can stop playing. But he doesn't need to make baseless accusations of the community to do so. /shrug The sims helps people enjoy something away from the real world (in fact the sims can often be a safe escape from a world that is dangerous/unfriendly to some people), and if they desire to have the game represent them, they deserve that. So stop being a pigeon pooping on people's hotdogs, and let people do what they want without your judgement. If you don't like it, then don't read people's opinions/blogs, and just move on. They don't need heckling from your peanut gallery, and your "clout" as a creator. As long as they are not actively hurting other people in the community, they don't need controlled or "karen'd". Also I'd 100% recommend reading @anachrosims' take on this situation as well.

[eppysboys]

I only just read more about the Ringo and Barbara thing and found out Barbara was also initiating violence when she was intoxicated and could have potentially seriously injured or worse. This isn't to say she's a bad person or "worse" than Ringo. It's just interesting how that will never come up in talk about abuse. No one really wants to talk about it.

Hi anon. I have read about that as well. I think you're correct in saying that no one really wants to talk about abuse, as in have a whole discussion about the ins and outs of the marriage, it's easier to use shorthand. And honestly, most people in fandoms across the board are only able to filter their perceptions of these issues through what they've plucked from their online experience. Once again, fandom is not the place anyone should be using as a educational source for abuse.

I do think, though, it's still important to remember that Ringo is the one with the more 'cuddly' image. He is actively benefitting from it. Barbara was not (as far as I know, and based on what her daughter has said) an alcoholic before she met Ringo. She does not have the level of fame that he does, she isn't going to be pointed at and called a hypocrite.

I do get the sense that addiction and violence were tied together for Ringo and Barbara. I'm mainly taking cues from their offspring, they're all very honest about the whole experience, and have expressed how much better their relationships are with their parents, and how proud they are for recovering and making the effort they hadn't been able to when they were younger. They're not shy about talking about how it was 'before'.

! This all doesn't erase personal responsibility, but I do think it's important to acknowledge the recovery process and how important it was for them. I think many people can benefit from hearing about it. !

A worthy read is their joint foreword to the book Getting Sober and Loving It, which I'll post under the cut. I really admire their strength and honesty about their experience, and am really touched by them recognising how far they've come (what they were doing before that was wrong and unhealthy vs how much clearer and happier and heathier they are now).

If you read anything from it, I feel like the following sentence really makes it clear how far they've come:

"In our everyday lives, we are aware of our real commitment to each other without having to do all the same things together at the same time which is how it was before, in a state of codependency, which is very common in addiction."

Anyway, main takeaway to the actual point you were making: There's many reasons people will point to Ringo and only him, and they are fair. It's important to talk about, just as it is important to talk about addiction with care and respect and honesty.

As we have both been rescued from addiction by attendance at a self-help treatment centre, we’re very happy to write a foreword to this book which has been written in conjunction with SHARP (Self Help Addiction Recovery Programme).

SHARP was started by Dr Brian Wells who has himself been in treatment for addiction to alcohol as well as other substances. And his story is in this book along with many others who have got help, got sober and are now enjoying their lives in recovery, one day at a time.

Getting Sober …and Loving It! Shows how to get that recovery and keep it. Addiction is a disease, not a moral failing, and the only way to deal with it is first to admit you have it and then decide to go after recovery. The great advantage in accepting there is a problem is that, after the surrender, you can grow in awareness and have a far, far better life.

It isn’t all doom and gloom and ginger ale. Our own experience of treatment is that you have to be sick to want recovery. You are in a fog which starts to lift after you put down the drink or drug. At first you are on a pink cloud. Sober at last! Then you have to start work on yourself, you can close the chapter and start a new one. You will hear in treatment that ‘it’s a selfish programme’ and you think ‘I’m not going to get involved in a selfish programme’, but you realise that you are simply being asked to take care of yourself and let other people look after themselves. It’s self-help, in treatment.

You can work out your resentments and find out where all this started, when (and maybe why) you had your first drink. You will see in the stories in this book that we all have a lot in common. You can identify with other people and realise that you are not alone — there is a place where you can get help, and there are people who are happy to share with you their own experience, strength and hope.

In our own case, we needed something but like addiction to come into our lives to knock us down and make us realise that a total change was necessary. We needed something to bring us to our knees, and make us do something about ourselves.

Others in the book will share the pain of addiction with you and how they gained through acknowledging it. All the pain and wreckage of our past is now serving us well, standing us in good stead. There really is no gain without pain. Like a lot of truth, it sounds trite but it is clear to see. It’s hard for us to understand how people who haven’t gone through that pain manage their lives because in recovery programmes you find you can manage your life, one day at a time. When things get really difficult you can think ‘It will pass today.’ If something happens that we really don’t like, the bottom line is we won’t feel like this forever.

You find you don’t have to live with fear and denial any longer. You can face up to your problems and learn acceptance. Accept yourself and other people.

One wonderful thing for us in treatment was that at the outset we were treated like everybody else. Like Rich and Barb. There was no Ringo and Miss Bach. We were right in there with everyone else and it was so great not to be singled out. Simple things become a pleasure again. When we go out now we have such a fabulous time, and we make plans and keep them. As we go past bars we remember that in the old days the bar is as far as we would have gone, at nine in the morning and right through the day.

When we go on holidays now, we don’t hide away. We used to go on long plane journeys, rent huge villas, stock up the bars, hide and get deranged. Now we don’t have to go through all of that. We’re free to have normal, happy family holidays with no compulsions to feed. In our everyday lives, we are aware of our real commitment to each other without having to do all the same things together at the same time which is how it was before, in a state of codependency, which is very common in addiction.

Nothing that we experience in recovery will come as a surprise to other recovering addicts. As we’ve said, the strength of getting sober and loving it lies in the power to identify with others; no matter where they come from or what they’ve experienced, if they’re compulsive users of whatever, there is so much in common it’s amazing. It’s just great to be able to see so clearly.

It’s true that most people aren’t substance-addicts. We were at our friends’ wedding in Fiji. It started at 11am and we were still hanging around at five that night. We were laughing and chatting with another member of a fellowship of recovering addicts, and we were just so surprised that no-one had tried to pull someone else’s wife, no-one had taken off his sarong or danced on the table. These people were social drinkers.

Maybe you are just a social drinker, like the majority of people. If so, fine. But if you’re not, or if somebody you love is having problems… then this book is for you.