#like i already bought the 60 dollar game just let me play it

[sonknuxadow]

i think that subscription services that make you give them your card info just for a free trial should explode and die. and i think subscription services that hide the option to turn it off in the settings somewhere should also explode and die

[arcticdementor]

I love NYC. When I first moved to NYC it was a dream come true. Every corner was like a theater production happening right in front of me. So much personality, so many stories.

Every subculture I loved was in NYC. I could play chess all day and night. I could go to comedy clubs. I could start any type of business. I could meet people. I had family, friends, opportunities. No matter what happened to me, NYC was a net I could fall back on and bounce back up.

Now it's completely dead. "But NYC always always bounces back." No. Not this time. "But NYC is the center of the financial universe. Opportunities will flourish here again." Not this time.

"NYC has experienced worse". No it hasn't.

…

Three of the most important reasons to move to NYC:

- business opportunities

- culture

- food

…

Midtown Manhattan, the center of business in NYC, is empty. Even though people can go back to work, famous office buildings like the Time Life skyscraper is still 90% empty. Businesses realized that they don't need their employees at the office.

In fact, they realize they are even more productive without everyone back to the office. The Time Life building can handle 8,000 workers. Now it maybe has 500 workers back.

…

"What do you mean?" a friend of mine said to me when I told him 'Midtown should be called 'Ghost Town', "I'm in my office right now!"

"What are you doing there?"

"Packing up," he said and laughed, "I'm shutting it down." He works in the entertainment business.

Another friend of mine works at a major investment bank as a managing director. Before the pandemic he was at the office every day, sometimes working from 6am to 10pm.

Now he lives in Phoenix, Arizona. "As of June," he told me, "I had never even been to Phoenix." And then he moved there. He does all his meetings on Zoom.

I was talking to a book editor who has been out of the city since early March. "We've been all working fine. I'm not sure why we would need to go back to the office."

One friend of mine, Derek Halpern, was convinced he'd stay. He put up a Facebook post the other day saying he might be changing his mind.

…

People say, "NYC has been through worse" or "NYC has always come back."

No and no.

First, when has NYC been through worse?

Even in the 1970s, and through the 80s, when NYC was going bankrupt, and even when it was the crime capital of the US or close to it, it was still the capital of the business world (meaning: it was the primary place young people would go to build wealth and find opportunity), it was culturally on top of its game - home to artists, theater, media, advertising, publishing, and it was probably the food capital of the US.

…

In early March, many people (not me), left NYC when they felt it would provide safety from the virus and they no longer needed to go to work and all the restaurants were closed. People figured, "I'll get out for a month or two and then come back."

They are all still gone.

And then in June, during rioting and looting a second wave of NYC-ers (this time me) left. I have kids. Nothing was wrong with the protests but I was a little nervous when I saw videos of rioters after curfew trying to break into my building.

…

…

Summary: Businesses are remote and they aren't returning to the office. And it's a death spiral: the longer offices remain empty, the longer they will remain empty.

In 2005, a hedge fund manager was visiting my office and said, "In Manhattan you practically trip over opportunities in the street."

Now the streets are empty.

…

I co-own a comedy club, Standup NY, on 78th and Broadway. I'm very very proud of the club and grateful to my fellow owners Dani Zoldan and Gabe Waldman and our manager Jon Boreamayo. It's a great club. It's been around since 1986 and before that it was a theater.

One time, Henry Winkler stopped by to come on my podcast. He was the one who told me it had been a theater.

He said, "I grew up two doors down from here and used to perform in here as a kid. Then I went out to LA to be the Fonz and now I'm back here, full circle, to be on your podcast. This place has history." Things like that happen in NYC.

…

I love the club. Before the pandemic I would perform there throughout the week in addition to many other clubs around the city and in the past few months, clubs in: Chicago, Denver, San Jose, LA, Cincinnati, all over the Netherlands, and other places.

I miss it.

…

That said, we have no idea when we will open. Nobody has any idea. And the longer we close, the less chance we will ever reopen profitably.

Broadway is closed until at least the Spring. Lincoln Center is closed. All the museums are closed.

Forget about the tens of thousands of jobs lost in these cultural centers. Forget even about the millions of dollars of tourist and tourist-generated revenues lost by the closing of these centers.

There are thousands of performers, producers, artists, and the entire ecosystem of art, theater, production, curation, that surrounds these cultural centers. People who have worked all of their lives for the right to be able to perform even once on Broadway whose lives and careers have been put on hold.

I get it. There was a pandemic.

But the question now is: what happens next? And, given the uncertainty (since there is no known answer), and given the fact that people, cities, economies, loathe uncertainty, we simply don't know the answer and that's a bad thing for New York City.

…

My favorite restaurant is closed for good. Ok, let's go to my second favorite. Closed for good. Third favorite, closed for good.

I thought the PPP was supposed to help. No? What about emergency relief? No. Stimulus checks? Unemployment? No and no. Ok, my fourth favorite, or what about that place I always ordered delivery from? No and no.

Around Late May I took walks and saw that many places were boarded up. Ok, I thought, because the protesting was leading to looting and the restaurants were protecting themselves. They'll be ok.

Looking closer I'd see the signs. For Lease. For Rent. For whatever.

Before the pandemic, the average restaurant had only 16 days of cash on hand. Some had more (McDonalds), and some had less (the local mom-and-pop Greek diner).

Yelp estimates that 60% of restaurants around the United States have closed.

My guess is more than 60% will be closed in New York City but who knows.

Someone said to me, "Well, people will want to come in now and start their own restaurants! There is less competition."

I don't think you understand how restaurants work.

…

If the restaurants are no longer clustered, fewer people go out to eat (they are on the fence about where so they elect to stay home). Restaurants breed more restaurants.

And again, what happens to all the employees who work at these restaurants? They are gone. They left New York City. Where did they go? I know a lot of people who went to Maine, Vermont, Tennessee, upstate, Indiana, etc - back to live with their parents or live with friends or live cheaper. They are gone and gone for good.

And what person wakes up today and says, "I can't wait to set up a pizza place in the location where 100,000 other pizza places just closed down." People are going to wait awhile and see. They want to make sure the virus is gone, or there's a vaccine, or there's a profitable business model.

Or...even worse.

…

If building owners and landlords lose their prime tenants (the store fronts on the bottom floor, the offices on the middle floors, the well-to-do on the top floors, etc) then they go out of business.

And what happens when they go out of business?

Nothing actually. And that's the bad news.

People who would have rented or bought say, "Hmmm, everyone is saying NYC is heading back to the 1970s, so even though prices might be 50% lower than they were a year ago, I think I will wait a bit more. Better safe than sorry!"

And then with everyone waiting... prices go down. So people see prices go down and they say, "Good thing I waited. But what happens if I wait even more!" And they wait and then prices go down more.

This is called a deflationary spiral. People wait. Prices go down. Nobody really wins. Because the landlords or owners go broke. Less money gets spent on the city. Nobody moves in so there is no motion in the markets. And people already owning in the area and can afford to hang on, have to wait longer for a return of restaurants, services, etc that they were used to.

Well, will prices go down low enough everyone buys?

Answer: Maybe. Maybe not. Some people can afford to hang on but not afford to sell. So they wait. Other people will go bankrupt and there will be litigation, which creates other problems for real estate in the area. And the big borrowers and lenders may need a bailout of some sort or face mass bankruptcy. Who knows what will happen?

…

I lived three blocks from Ground Zero on 9/11. Downtown, where I lived, was destroyed, but it came roaring back within two years. Such sadness and hardship and then quickly that area became the most attractive area in New York.

And in 2008/2009, much suffering during the Great Recession, again much hardship, but things came roaring back.

But...this time it's different. You're never supposed to say that but this time it's true. If you believe this time is no different, that NYC is resilient, etc I hope you're right.

I don't benefit from saying any of this. I love NYC. I was born there. I've lived there forever. I STILL live there. I love everything about NYC. I want 2019 back.

But this time it's different.

One reason: bandwidth.

In 2008, average bandwidth speeds were 3 megabits per second. That's not enough for a Zoom meeting with reliable video quality. Now, it's over 20 megabits per second. That's more than enough for high quality video.

There's a before and after. BEFORE: no remote work. AFTER: everyone can remote work.

…

Everyone has spent the past five months adapting to a new lifestyle. Nobody wants to fly across the country for a two hour meeting when you can do it just as well on Zoom. I can go see "live comedy" on Zoom. I can take classes from the best teachers in the world for almost free online as opposed to paying $70,000 a year for a limited number of teachers who may or may not be good.

Everyone has choices now. You can live in the music capital of Nashville, you can live in the "next Silicon Valley" of Austin. You can live in your hometown in the middle of wherever. And you can be just as productive, make the same salary, have higher quality of life with a cheaper cost to live.

…

Wait for events and conferences and even meetings and maybe even office spaces to start happening in virtual realities once everyone is spread out from midtown Manhattan to all over the country.

The quality of restaurants will start to go up in all the second and then third tier cities as talent and skill flow to the places that can quickly make use of them.

Ditto for cultural events.

And then people will ask, "wait a second - I was paying over 16% in state and city taxes and these other states and cities have little to no taxes? And I don't have to deal with all the other headaches of NYC?"

Because there are headaches in NYC. Lots of them. It's just we sweep them under the table because so much else has been good there.

NYC has a $9 billion deficit. A billion more than the Mayor thought they were going to have. How does a city pay back its debts? The main way is aid from the state. But the state deficit just went bonkers. Then is taxes. But if 900,000 estimated jobs are lost in NYC and tens of thousands of businesses, then that means less taxes unless taxes are raised.

…

What reason will people have to go back to NYC? 

[pulaasul]

Shaker Call Out

As East High’s drama company had their cast party at Salt Lake Slices, two party-crashers arrived and sullied everyone’s good mood.

They were about to be sent out when Big Red decided to do the opposite.

As usual thanks to @cadetcama​ and @redlyncentral​ for the creative juices.

[FFN]  [Ao3]

----

"It is true. Your show had a beginning, a middle, and an end. It was wonderful." A boy with a French accent nodded.

Every Wildcat present simply rolled their eyes at the faux compliment they received from their rivals.

After a successful, albeit stressful, opening night, the Wildcats held their cast party at Salt Lake Slices, Big Red's family pizza restaurant. Everyone was just having a good time reminiscing when two party-crashers got inside the establishment.

"And Big Red, you were also in it." The boy pointed at the owner's son.

The Wildcats frowned at the subtle dig the French boy had at them. Not letting these rivals get the best of them, Ricky decided to speak up.

"Okay, well, thank you for dropping by but this is kind of a private party." Ricky stood up, intending to escort them towards the door. "So if you could, uh-"

"Bye!" Every Wildcat chimed in.

"Thank you." Gina cheekily added.

"Out you go." Ricky pointed at the direction of the door.

"We'll miss you." Carlos waved.

"Actually no, you both can stay." Big Red voiced out. "Ricky, please close the door."

"Big Red?"

Despite how weird-ed out he was by his best friend's request, Ricky still followed it and locked it from the inside while the others were looking at Big Red as in a new light. No one expected this kind of reaction from their Le Fou.

"Kourtney, do you still have those videos saved on your phone?" Big Red ignored everyone's stares. "I've got some of them saved in mine."

"O my god! The shaker thief!" Ashlyn realized. "You mean?" Ashlyn looked at her boyfriend.

"Yeah, she even removed her sunglasses a few times." Big Red nodded and smiled at the same time.

"Shaker thief?" Nini couldn't help but ask.

"Basically, if there's one person from the drama club present at Slices, that's not employed, somehow, someone has been stealing the shakers that the restaurant provided the customers." Gina explained with a pointed look at Howie.

"We already confronted Howie," Kourtney came to her employee's defense. "Grilled him a few times myself once we found out who was stealing the shakers."

"How do you know this, Gina?" Carlos questioned his fellow dancer.

"She's my roomie!" Ashlyn declared. "Biggie tells me his stresses about the restaurant, including the shaker thief, and well, Gina and I talk about it."

"Excuse me?!" The blond girl exclaimed. "Are you accusing us of theft?!" She glared at Big Red.

"I think this will jog your memory." Kourtney declared as she connected her phone to the television near the counter and played the video.

The TV showed a CCTV recording by the most comfortable booth of the place. It showed Nini just ending her phone call while a boy, clearly the same boy that was currently present, talking to a blond girl, but the next thing that happened was the girl taking one shaker on the table and deposited it into her bag.

"Wasn't that Antoine?" Kourtney identified the boy.

"Big deal! That could have been Antoine's girlfriend!"

"The date was clearly before we found out that you stole our beast mask." Carlos countered.

"So he was in a relationship when he asked my cousin to dump her boyfriend and asked her out at the same time?" EJ raised an eyebrow.

"They could have broken up!"

Without another word, another footage played on the TV screen, this time it was Ashlyn and Big Red, who wasn't on duty, talking to each other. Not a moment later, EJ and Gina arrived and their talks turned into laughs.

The girl's face can easily be seen on another table, this time with her back against the laughing Wildcats. She made a face of discontent before she grabbed the shaker on the table and promptly walked out of frame.

"Isn't that you Lily?" Natalie raised an eyebrow.

"So what, I stole two pepper shakers," Lily scoffed.

"It's not just two shakers." Big Red interjected.

As more CCTV recordings played on the TV screen, displaying every time Lily was caught in the act of stealing one shaker per footage.

"Didn't you claim that North High is a quasi-pre-professional theater company?" Kourtney raised an eyebrow. "Correct me if I'm wrong, this is like my second opening night but do professional theater companies condone stealing?"

"They don't." EJ answered.

"Most performers are busy learning their lines and rehearsing that they don't have the time to do something petty and heinous such as stealing." Carlos supplied.

"Look, you could pay us $100 from the shakers and its contents that you stole, and you can leave." Big Red offered.

"It's not just $100," Kourtney interjected. "But we can break even with that amount."

"Who are you two supposed to be?" Lily exclaimed. "You could just barely stand during auditions." She pointed at Big Red.

"Lily, could you just pay them?" Howie groaned.

"Are you betraying us, Howie?" Antoine questioned.

"Fine, have it your way." Howie gave up. "Just for the record, you are talking to the owner of the restaurant you are standing on, and the assistant manager," He informed his schoolmates. "So sorry if I don't want to lose my source of income because of your idiocy." He sat down.

"So, Lily, your payment please." Kourtney approached the party crashers with an open palm.

"Look, we could do this the easy way, or the hard way?" Big Red sighed.

"Fine, call the police!" Lily stubbornly stood her ground. "But I'm not going down alone!"

"If you mean, how you stole Ricky's harness during his transformation scene? They know." Howie voiced out.

"Wha-"

"Yeah, Howie told us as soon as everyone from our company was present," Gina chimed in. "He wanted to tell Kourtney during intermission, but he also knew that it would put the act in jeopardy had we known ahead of time." She shrugged.

"We are still not done talking about that, by the way." Kourtney interjected.

"If you wanted to bring someone down with you, try a little harder." Gina 1 point oh resurfaced.

Lily, without a way out, and no money to pay the hundred dollars that she owed, she searched for ways to get out of the situation, or even get even."

"Ricky and I face timed each other."

"If you mean the time where you said you 'were struggling' that happened only one time," Big Red immediately countered. "And everyone instantly knew you had called Ricky as soon as your call ended, I was there."

"Ricky, remember your girlfriend's Rose song?"

"Lily, could you please stop?" Ricky groaned. "You aren't getting out of this or getting even with anyone." He added. "Please just pay Big Red and be done with this."

"I don't have that big of an amount, okay!" Lily exclaimed.

"Well, you could start by returning the shakers you stole," Kourtney raised an eyebrow. "Then we can deduct the prices of the shakers that you returned to the amount you owe, then you'll work for the remaining amount."

"No!" Lily exclaimed. "I'm not working at some derelict two-star family restaurant!"

"We could always involve the police," Seb shrugged.

"Take your pick." Carlos voiced out.

"Fine!" Lily grabbed Antoine by the arm and stomped towards the door.

"Don't forget, you start tomorrow!" Kourtney called out.

An expected growl was heard before the chimes of the door rang. The students of North High can be seen through the window, stomping away from the family restaurant.

"Do you think we're too harsh on her?"

"Too harsh?! Try too lenient! The restaurant lost more than a hundred dollars from her stunt!" Kourtney exclaimed. "You may not know this, Big Red, but the employees had to pay for the number of things that girl stole from your restaurant."

"Actually Big Red had the most amount to pay for Lily's theft," Ricky came to his best friend's defense. "He was forced to sell some of his video games so that he can contribute with the payment."

"Ricky!"

"You asked me to help you decide which games to sell," Ricky shrugged. "Some of them, you haven't even played."

"Don't video games cost $60? Ashlyn asked.

"Big Red already destroyed the package of the games he bought, so he couldn't sell the game at full price," Ricky answered. "He was able to sell one game for 15 bucks but all the other games only sold for 5 bucks."

"I told you not to question whether the Redonoviches included their son to contribute to the family restaurant's losses." Howie whispered.

"Why did you give her a discounted price then?"

"Tell me, do any one of you even carry around a hundred dollars?" Big Red raised an eyebrow.

"Not me." EJ answered.

"Nor me." Ashlyn shook her head.

"I usually leave the majority of my money home," Gina answered. But I have some money stored in my bag's pockets for emergencies, you never know."

"Besides, we can always reveal the full amount that she owed the restaurant as soon as she starts working." Big Red offered.

"I suppose that's fair." Kourtney nodded.

"With the Lily drama out of the way, who here still cares about the Menkies?" Carlos asked.

Everyone looked at each other, they were hesitating to raise their hands, eyeing if one ever would.

"Good!" Carlos sighed. "I thought it was only me."

"I mean, we already won right?"

[thebraingremlinsaremad]

Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

[nickcifonie]

In 2021, Anyone Can Make $ Playing Video Games!

I grew up playing games like Risk, Monopoly, a little Chess... and still remember buying my first computer somewhere around 1986 solely to play a computer game on. It was an Apple IIc, and that first game was some type of Pirate Adventure. I wish I remembered the name. It wasn’t all that good, but still, I was hooked!

Since that first adventure, I’ve spent thousands of hours as well as dollars playing just about every type of digital game that has followed! PC games, Atari, Wii, mobile games... you name it, I play it! I’d always generalize the cost (to myself at least) thinking “some guys play golf 3 days a week at $100 a round... I play computer games”.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it! However, the story has changed...

“Pay to Play” has become “Play to Earn”!

If you would be to search terms like “crypto games”, “blockchain games”, “make money playing video games”, and others, you’d find some really incredible statements. Today, quotes like the ones below are becoming more and more common!

“I made $400 last week playing a computer game” “I just sold my RPG character for $200 profit”

“I was offered $1k for a skin for my laser rifle of doom” (I made up the “laser rifle of doom” part)

“I bred my pet thingamajig yesterday and sold the baby!” (it’s digital, for those of you wincing)

In 2021, thanks to the blockchain, there’s a growing community of gamers who are making real dollars daily, mining, fighting, shooting, jumping... all while playing the same type of mobile and PC games that you had to PAY to play just a short while ago...

...but let’s start at the beginning.

You paid $172,000 for a what!?

Yes... all the way back in 2018 a CryptoKitty named “Dragon” was sold for an incredible $172,000. (300 ETH) Don’t be too surprised, it’s justified! It’s an adorable digital image, or “NFT” of a cat, after all.

It’s a lot of money, but for NFTs and blockchain gaming, flipping a Kitty today may as well be considered the stone ages. It’s still a record, but while you can still get started collecting these digital felines for as low as a couple of dollars, big-dollar trades still happen daily.

On the flip side of mortgaging your home to buy a digital picture of a CryptoKitty, Bored Ape, or CryptoPunk, you may feel better if you begin your adventure into making crypto (it’s real money, dear!) by playing a video game where you can “make money” instead of spending it.

I’m not saying owning a CryptoKitty or any of a plethora of “Avatar NFTs” we see popping up on various exchanges isn’t one way to do it... I’m saying to me at least, as a life-long gamer I’d much prefer playing a mobile, console, or PC game to collecting pictures in a digital wallet.

So what the heck is an NFT?

I could go into a long explanation... but since this article is about gaming and not cryptocurrency, I’ll tell you an NFT is a “non-fungible token”, and leave you google it if you really want to dig in deep. I do want to share more, so I’ll ‘splain it as simple as I can for you Lucy!

A CryptoKitty, as stated above, is a type of image called an NFT. (the collection is called “CryptoKitties) It’s a digital picture of a cartoon cat. There are thousands of different ones that have different shapes, colors, expressions and traits. (kind of like a real cat, but eats less)

The difference, is only one of each design is actually a legitimate “CryptoKitty”. (or a legitimate whatever type of image it happens to be) To be clearer... each NFT is a “one of a kind”, so if you’re thinking “but can’t I just make a copy?”, nope you can’t.

I mean... you “can” make a copy of it if you really dig the design and want it on your desktop, but it would only be a copy of that particular NFT, not the real McCoy! Ok... so what makes one real, and the rest fakes? The blockchain.

Now, I’m going to be true to my word and keep my promise of not making this an article about crypto or the blockchain, so just know this: the difference between an image that is an actual NFT, and a copy of one, is there is an underlying digital code that designates the real thing.

So real in fact, that artists are creating or importing their paintings and creations to the web as NFTs, numbering them as they would a lithograph, and selling their entire collections. So if you are an art fan, check with your favorite creators... you may be surprised to find all of their “works of art” on an online marketplace!

NFTs are viewed on certain marketplace websites and digital wallets where the copies cannot be displayed, so that is how we know one is real, and the others are not! Having said that, sure, there’s more to it, but just know that there’s a 100% secure way of knowing an image is a real NFT.

In addition, there can be more than one NFT with the same identical image. However, each has a unique underlying code, so even if they look exactly the same, they are not! Look at it like the playing cards or comic books of old... there may be 1,000 created (or “minted” as it’s called in NFT land) but they will each be numbered 1 to 1,000.

And guess which is more valuable.....? I knew you’d get it!

And these NFT’s make money how?

You’re getting warmer! There are a lot of different types of games coming out these days where you can make money playing. There are RPG’s, MOBA’s, Shooters, games in first person and in third, dungeon crawls... you name it!

If you’re thinking “how did I not know this!”, I was the same until recently! I have been gaming almost daily since I stepped into Ultima Online back in 1997, and I can’t even begin to tally how many hours and/or dollars I’ve invested into gaming.

Now, our hobby pays!

After 30-something years, my wife still thinks I’m bonkers... but I got a totally different look from her a few days ago when I told her I sold my game character for well over $200. Legit. I sold two more yesterday, and another this afternoon.

Some of these only cost me $10 or $15, some much more. Some are free. I sold another NFT character last week for $1,950, and it was sold on the game’s website, not on the black market.

So not only can an NFT be a picture of an Ape, Vegetable, Duck, or Stripper on a pole (we’ll leave it at that) but it can be a character in a game, a weapon, a mount, armor, or more.

One game is giving away free pet turtles with each character. For the uneducated on “pets” in computer games, it’s not the kind you keep in a bowl in your bedroom. It’s a companion that fights with you in an online game and may shoot fire from its eyes, heal you, or similar.

Soon after being handed out for free, they’re now selling for around $60 each.

So an NFT can be an image, a video, music, a meme... or even a shirt or shoes! But we’ll leave the NFT clothing explanation to another article. ;)

Remember that rare skin you paid out the nose for a year ago in Apex? Or the L33T character you built up in Fortnite or Warcraft? If you’re no longer playing that game, it’s money under the bridge. And you don’t own the bridge!

In this new breed of blockchain games, you could have LEGALLY sold that character, skin, weapon, land, house, mount, or whatever it was when you tired of the game. For a profit. Maybe for a LARGE profit.

Yes, in the past we were able to find ways to get around the system and dump our pixels from time to time. We’d sell the account on the black market, or cut a deal with someone like a drug dealer on a Chicago Street corner. Then we’d over who went first...

“You give me the account and weapon first!” “No you give me the money first”.  Sometimes the deals even went through. Others well... let’s just say half of the parties walked away happy.

I made good money when after 4 years of daily playing I sold my Ultima Online account for somewhere around $2,000, but I needed to find a trustworthy “go-between” to broker the deal. Even then, I was sweating it!

With today’s crypto games, not only do the games provide the platform to buy, sell, or trade your character and items, but it’s encouraged, and done with good old U.S dollars! I’ve made $ playing 4 or 5 different games already this week, as well as flipping (buying low and selling higher) NFT characters!

How else can I make money playing games?

The way you earn varies from game to game, but each week seems to reveal another new strategy, platform, or idea. Many are new strategies, and while some have “triple A” 3D animation and graphics, others are simpler and use basic one-dimensional graphics for the gameplay.

Some of these games are actually tied to a token on the blockchain. The game developer creates their own token, not too unlike Bitcoin or Ethereum, and it can be bought or sold on the open market as well as used in the game as currency.

Could you imagine if back in League of Legends, Guild Wars or Final Fantasy, when you were ready to move to a new game, you could sell or easily convert your gold to cash? Some of today’s blockchain games encourage it!

Not only can you now buy and sell characters and weapons, the gold in the game can be traded, bought, sold, or saved like real currency, stocks, crypto, or collectables. Never have I been as excited about PC and mobile gaming as I am today!

As an example, I am doing some work for a new game that will launch soon called Pepper Attack. Pepper Attack has its own token or coin... called MYTE. It can be used in the game as currency, but also be traded like Bitcoin. A lot of today’s blockchain games offer this same benefit.

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to mine I go!

Just by owning an NFT from the game, you can login on a daily basis and click “mine” earning real-value tokens passively. Your Pepper goes to work like one of the 7 Dwarves mining MYTE, and later on you can convert it to other tokens or cold, hard cash.

There's more to do in this particular game as well. Like any good RPG or MMORPG, each pepper has a unique combination or skills like attack, defense, evade, hit points, and more. As an example of the possibilities, if you have a high attack score, other characters will be able to pay you in MYTE to “train” them, raising their score as well.

In addition, these NFTs have unique physical traits, some are common and some are very rare. This game in particular have toons that look more like anime-ish elves with weapons and a stem... I have to admit the artwork is really spicey! (see what I did there?) Other games are of course totally different.

Some people will simply collect these NFTs/characters as an investment, like playing cards or comics. Others will use them in the game, and still others will do both. Either way, they can be held, or sold for a profit!

Unlike the games of the past, when you’re ready to move on you don’t walk away and lose all the $ you have spent for characters, skins, weapons, potions, and other items. When you’re done, you’ll be able to sell your character and items... possibly for a profit... maybe a lot of profit... and move on.

These are not your father’s computer games!

As we move ahead in the genre, we are seeing AAA studios coming out with big-dollar productions, like Blankos, Mist, Illuvium, Ember Sword and others. Some of these games actually let you buy the land you build on!

Did you have your own house in Ultima Online, Star Wars Galaxies, or Archeage? What if you could have used It as a shop and been paid in dollars for your wares, rented it to another player, or sold it for cold hard cash at a huge profit down the road?

In many of today’s games, not only is it common, but extremely hard to come by, and quite expensive. Not only are people paying thousands of dollars for a plot in some of the games that have land, but they’re paying it many months before the game is even released.

They do it, because in many cases they know that they can easily 2X, 10X, or even 50X their investment a short piece down the road. Seriously? Seriously... and the early bird catches the worm!

Other games with lesser budgets are more graphic-based, but have super earnings potential as well, and are just as fun to play. These include Splinterlands, (a card game like Magic!) Crypto Blades, Axie Infinity and more.

Regardless of if the new blockchain game of your choice is a RPG, MOBA, a card game or racing game... the fact that you can put some coin into your pocket playing adds a whole new element. It’s heckafun making money playing a game!

The early nerd catches the worm!

In many cases, if you can catch a game before it releases, the land, characters, weapons, and other items... in most cases all NFTs... can be grabbed at a tiny fraction of the future value.

Of course, always check out the game details and team first, and be confident it’s a good place to put your money. Not all games are made the same.

If you’re lucky enough to find out about and partake in an early sale, for example, like grabbing a character NFT or two in   “Pepper Attack”  before the late September launch date, you may be in for a real treat!

There are plenty of new titles coming down the pipe that look to be fun, have great communities, and offer earning opportunities. A web search will find services and websites that will keep you on your toes and alert you of upcoming blockchain game releases, marketplace opening, and more.

As we look forward, the future of gaming on the blockchain is really, really exciting! Not only are the games getting better and more fun, but they’re getting better at making the economics work more smoothly as well.

The games are not without challenges, as they need to be made to sustain themselves economically over the long haul. In addition, they need to have higher levels of security (thanks blockchain!) and of course, work without becoming “pay to win”. Thankfully, the new breed of developers have risen to the challenge!

The next time you look for a new game to add to your phone or desktop, or just want a change of pace, look to a game that pays to play! Your wallet might thank you.

Another perk, is your husband or wife will appreciate it as well! Instead of hearing “are you going to play that stupid game all night again?”, you may start to hear things like “I’ll put the kids to bed tonight sweetheart, so you can get online and play”.

One can only hope...

Author - Nick Cifonie

Nick is a lifelong gamer, who cut his teeth at the local Chicago arcade playing Tetris as a teen. Better known as Znick or Deacon Z, Nick became a Game Master in Ultima Online in 1997, ran a large multi-game guild for 15 years, and now spends his time in the “play to earn” arena. Professionally, Nick is a writer and 4-decade marketer working with the  Pepper Attack team, as well as others. Nick is also a Catholic Deacon.

[vampanic]

okay here’s what i remember from THE CON

i can’t remember if the ticket was cheap or pricey. i don’t know why. i wanna say it was more expensive or of equal value to a bigger con and i justified it to my parents and myself because it was the first one. but i went because i thought the idea of a con that was centered on the various fandoms popular on this site at the time was a genuinely neat idea. i also thought, okay let me just go because it’s another one to attend.

i should note: that have been to a lot conventions in my time. i’ve been to acen twice i think? i’ve been to nebkon twice. sadly i have never been to c2e2 or flashback chicago (which i may never get to go to now whoops) and i’ve been to wizard world chicago i wanna say 4 times?

now at these cons (mostly wizard world) these fandoms aren’t as present. in fact, the main demo of that con was adult to middle age to older visitors as well as families, so usually teens and young adults would find each other at this con (whether planned ahead or by accident there) and freak the fuck out over our cosplays or mutual love of whatever.

so because of this again the idea of a t.umblr con was exciting to me, even though i was already at the end of being interested in those fandoms (as i’m sure most people were at the time)

okay so first, this con was far. wizard world and acen are held at the rosemont convention center which while kind of far from where i live, is accessible by train via downtown or via one of chicago’s big airports. i always got a ride though which with summer traffic, took forever. so much like that this con was a journey away.

the hotel the con choose i remember thinking it seemed new, but it was far from where i lived which inpacted the amount of time i spent at the con and the decision to only go two days (i didn’t return the last day because it was a shit show)

i went to this con by myself because i think at this point i had already had a falling out with my friend who i went to cons in the area with (she did not attend that i know of). i wore two cosplays that i had made already for other things, gwen stacy and america chavez. this would have been the ideal place for me to cosplay something more niche, but i just didn’t care that much about it. maybe i didn’t think it was worth it at the time since it wasn’t going to be a big con.

so i get there and there’s no long line to get my badge in fact i don’t even remember a line at all. which, for me, was bizarre. every con i’ve been to before had huge lines even on off hours to get badges. but whatever. i cant remember if where i got my badge was in the the same room as where the ball pit was or not. but yes, i did go into the ball pit and i was silly in it with some other people because

idk you see a ball pit you go in the ball pit? in hindsight i know it’s not acceptable to have this at a con, but shit i guess i was high on life at the time. someone took a pic of me in the pit, but i have never seen it.

i remember seeing some very impressive cosplays at this con. i also bought some really great art in the dealers room which was small. (here’s the artist. also this was nonfandom art. i don’t remember buying anything else from anyone because i don’t think i saw anything i liked/could afford) there was no unlicensed night vale merch sold here that i remember, but i do remember receiving free unlicsenced night vale like pamphlets from a random vendor and also  there was a vendor who was giving away a large piece of night vale fan art with a purchase of over something dollars i dont remember.

panels: i don’t remember there being many panels or even very interesting panels. panels i remember going to include: bisexuality in media/bisexuality representation (which was put on by the bisexualbooks tumblr), ask an avenger (which was put on by various marvel cosplayers), and a panel that was about female characters in supernatural (i was a spn stan back in the day jsyk).

the bi one was good. i remember it being the most like a panel that you’d go to at a larger convention. they had slides and info and they took questions and had several speakers.

the avengers one was what we’d call today “cringey” but it was cute. it was exactly what it sounds like. avengers cosplayers sat up on a stage answering questions in character. i believe that all the cosplayers had rp and/or ask blogs which is why they were chosen.

the supernatural panel was, like the bi one, complete with slides and various speakers, but from what i remember it was mostly going down the list of female characters in the show. i remember from the fandom that there a good chunk of people who love the characters, but they’re often killed off or abandoned and this is something a lot of fans did have gripes with. this is gonna sound fake when i say it, but this did happen, we got to charlie and someone said “yeah i like charlie she’s cool because she’s a lesbian but she doesn’t act like one like she’s still feminine” and i spoke up and said “well yeah it’s cool she’s a lesbian, but what do you mean she doesn’t act like one. like queer female character shouldn’t have to be feminine to be seen as good rep.” and people clapped. i know that sounds fake, but please believe me because this is a setting where people are inclined to clap when they agree with statements. people clapped at others too.

i also attended the costume contest, the night vale panel, and the meet and greet with doug jones.

the contest was fine. there was one individual at this con who i can’t name because i didnt know their name, but they cosplayed as ed from edd ed and eddy and they were in character the whole time to the point of discomfort. it wasn’t just for the contest i found myself in a cards against humanity game that they were in and it was even there and it was weird.

then the night vale panel happened and ooooooooohhhh boy

this was the most filled room in the whole con. a main reason i went to this con was to see them and im pretty sure this was everyone’s main reason to go. i known someone from other cons who came from florida to see this. (fun fact: we were mutuals on various platforms and had hung out at various cons and i knew their name, but they could not remember mine and i thought that was bogus so i ghosted them. dont know if i was justified in that but whatever)

so here we all were waiting. for over an hour. during this time people talked and i remember someone cosplaying the glow cloud went up and down the isle with a little glow cloud baby in a stroller and we all laughed and cheered. people started playing card games. we kept busy. for me though.

this was one of the most boring cons i’ve been to honestly. i’m having trouble remember a lot of it and that’s because i went solo. i had no friends there. i cosplayed gwen from like the 60s and this was before spidey joined the mcu and before itsv was a thing so spidey was basically an niche fandom (i was active in the tasm and dane deha.an fandoms at this time and the latter became toxic as fuck but that’s a whole other story) or something older comic fans liked.

my other cosplay was america chavez from young avengers which never got that popular either (though kate bishop and kid loki where more recognized, but for their connection to bigger marvel names). so it wasn’t like other cons where my cosplay was an ice breaker and i could join groups. i was alone.

so a lot of the con for that reason was awkward and waiting for night vale was like being the person texting in the corner at a distant relative’s party because they know no one.

so they finally come on stage to say that night vale will not be performing and people went ballistic people were shouting and the person said “we have doug jones in the next hall you should go over to that” and someone yelled “WE DON’T WANT TO SEE HIM”

i went to see doug jones and i was previously unaware of what his name was but i knew who he was. he talked about his work and acting process and did a meet and greet after. mr. jones was a delight and i’m wondering how they even got him there in the first place. he was leagues above this. 

i had to leave the con early that day to go to my brother’s football game, but i believe that was the night they “protested” at the con and i kept seeing on tumblr that it was cancelled. i decided not to go back the next day because i was unsure of what was happening and because it was too far.

and the rest is history. i’m sure i went to other panels, but i can’t remember them. i do remember going into the room where they were watching pacific rim, but it was on a shitty projection screen and i wanted to go to a panel instead.

it’s shitty what happened with the con. and a lot of the unrest came from literal teens who were cheated from money who didn’t know how to act, but all the responsibility goes to the people who organized it poorly. The concept of a tu.mblr con i don’t think should have been inherently bad. i think it would have been cool to have a con that focused on more niche interests. but shouldn’t have been as big as they wanted it to be for the first go.

anyway that’s most of what i can remember. it’s kind of blur because i spent most of it by myself and there wasn’t much to do so i didn’t even spend the whole day there.

quite frankly, i’m glad i wasn’t there when they started singing les mis because i have no idea how i would have acted.

[antagonistchanremade]

unless something goes wrong, i’m gonna be getting a package today containing:

a new set of earbuds (my earbuds died a few days ago after i used them for about five months; hopefully this next set will last longer since they’re the set that amazon most recommends when you look up “earbuds” and they’re by a brand i actually recognize, Panasonic)

three Transformers:

WFC Siege Brunt

WFC Siege Six-Gun

WFC Siege Sideswipe

“WFC Siege” is the name of the toyline these guys are under. Sideswipe is just a fairly normal figure, but then Brunt and Six-Gun are something special that WFC Siege started. And Siege has a lot of weird quirky gimmicks like “Battle Damage” detailing, but these guys are something really cool.

Weaponizers.

What makes the Weaponizers so special is that in addition from transforming from robot to vehicle, they’re also basically made of guns. As in, you can take them apart and their pieces can be used as weapons by other Transformers. And you can also rearrange those pieces together. And the other Transformers in this line are absolutely fucking covered in places to put weapons. And due to the combination thing, some of these weapons can be attached to multiple weapon ports.

I’ve seen people use Weaponizers to basically combine all of the WFC Siege toys into single monstrosities.

I got Sideswipe partially because I’ve never had a Sideswipe toy before and his toys are generally pretty good and popular and cool, and also partially because... well, the only WFC Siege toy I already have is Galaxy Optimus Prime, the one @helpfool got me for my birthday, and he’s a weird one and I’m not sure if he’ll play as well with the Weaponizers as Sideswipe will... and even if he does, having a more normal WFC Siege dude around will probably be nice anyways.

I was honestly expecting Sideswipe and Brunt to show up tomorrow, but apparently both orders got shipped together.

There’s a Transformers reviewer I like, Thew Adams, who once recommended in a video that if you’re gonna be messing around in WFC Siege at all, you should pick up two copies of a guy named Cog. Cog is a Weaponizer. Now, I don’t know for sure, but I think Thew only recommended that you get two Cogs because he was the only Weaponizer at the time; the main meat of his recommendation was that you get two Weaponizers. And honestly? I think Brute and Six-Gun are more interesting than Cog (Cog transforms into an “armored truck” that really doesn’t actually look like anything, while Brute turns into a tank that actually looks like a tank and Six-Gun turns into a jet that actually looks like a jet, and they have nicer colors, and...), and Brute is the same price as Cog and Six-Gun is about five dollars cheaper than both of them (being about $15 as opposed to about $20).

So, all in all, this order came out to around $60 ($20 for Brute, $19 for Sideswipe (it’s wild that an actual legacy character is cheaper than a walking accessory), $15 for Six-Gun, and $9 for the earbuds). Most of the price came from the about $50 I had in Amazon gift card balance; the remaining ~$10 came from my credit union account.

Now, conventional wisdom would be that it’s a bit reckless to spend that much money at once when I so rarely have actual access to money... but the thing is, if I wait too long to spend my money, I’ll end up blowing it all on junk food I don’t even need. Transformers, though? Collecting those is a hobby of mine. The only time I’ve ever bought a Transformer and come to regret the purchase is when I bought Prime Sky-Lynx, because Prime Sky-Lynx blows (which is why it surprises me so much that it’s apparently a really well-regarded toy??? like most of the collector types think it’s an excellently designed toy which baffles me). And I’ve bought a lot of Transformers. It’s probably the thing I’ve spent the third most money on in my life, after video games and junk food. I’ve been actively collecting since 2008, and while most of my collection comes from Christmas and birthday presents, a decent chunk of it has come from my own wallet.

So yeah. I don’t wanna spend my money too fast, since I never know what I’ll end up wanting, but I also don’t wanna take too long either or else it’ll all be gone before I even know it. Which is why I’ll occasionally let myself make impulse purchases for things like three Transformers and the Master Chief Collection.

[hellorickturner-blog]

Daniel Carpenter Taking Things to a New Level

Daniel Carpenter is far from your average senior. He doesn’t take life slow or easy, in fact when most people his age begin to become less active, Daniel Carpenter speeds his life up. So what makes this 64 year old, retired army captain, licensed private investigator, and former professor with a PH.D. in Drama do for fun? The answer may surprise you. Currently, Carpenter is learning MMA and pursuing a career in Rap! Rap Music to be precise and like everything Daniel had ever applied himself to he’s giving it 110%.

Carpenter was born on November 5th 1955 in the back of a farm truck on route 315 in Simsbury, Connecticut (a suburb of Hartford) on the way to the hospital, in a thunderstorm. Already an unusual start to this extraordinary man’s life, at the age of five, he was already showing incredible abilities. Carpenter wrote and performed a cello concerto featured in a local town’s christmas pageant. He was also known to be incredibly athletic, competing against boys much older then he in the annual township’s swim competition. “I was about five or six around that time and the high school swim coach noticed me swimming laps in the pool one summer, he said that I swam faster and better than most of his varsity swim team members. Even at that age, I found his remarks to be humorous because I has practically taught myself to swim” Carpenter remarked. Carpenter was known for his confident and competitive nature throughout his early school years and that reputation continued throughout his highschool career. Voted most likely to succeed in his senior yearbook, Carpenter was a force to be reckoned with. He was the varsity wrestling team captain, school newspaper editor, the star of the debate team and the class president. “I never wanted to have a reason to look back and regret not trying something” Carpenter reflected, “I wanted to make sure I had gave everything a shot.”

In December 1973, Carpenter enlisted in the army to fight in Vietnam. He had just turned 18 and answered to call for young men to join the fight. “I didn’t particularly agree with the war, but I felt a deep sense of patriotism and I could not ignore it.” Over the next three years, Carpenter excelled through the army ranks starting as a private and leaving Vietnam as Master Sergeant. Carpenter did not wish to elaborate much on his experiences in Vietnam, stating “I never speak about it with anyone except for the men who were there… they are the only ones who understand.”

After the Fall of Saigon, Carpenter was airlifted out of Vietnam with the remaining troops in the spring of 1975. He returned home to Hartford, Connecticut just before his 20th birthday. While home, Daniel met a woman by the name of Nancy Slater while eating breakfast at a local diner. They began dating. “I knew when I met her that she was something special and I had to marry her,” said Carpenter. Unfortunately after only a few months home Carpenter was called to duty. He left for West Berlin in February of 1976 and his plans to marry Nancy Slater were put on hold. Despite the distance between Carpenter and Slater he kept true to her and wrote her almost every day. “I was in love, and it hurt to be away from her but I knew the oath I took and that this sacrifice was for the good of my country.”

Over the next 3 years Carpenter was stationed in West Berlin at the doorstep of the Soviet Union during the height of the Cold War. He once again refused to give details about his time abroad, however his reason this time was different, claiming that details of his service during that time is still to this day classified. “I was stationed in West Berlin for almost 3 years, and it was not pretty, let’s just leave it at that,” said Carpenter with a careful chuckle.

Carpenter returned home in 1978 around Christmas. While in West Germany he had bought an engagement ring for his girlfriend Nancy Slater. Carpenter having risen to the rank of Captain decided to leave the army to get married. He proposed to Nancy on New Years Eve of that year and by May of 1979 they were married. “I was so happy, however my appetite for accomplishment was a problem, I couldn’t sit still.” Around this time Carpenter began working at a local factory which built plumbing parts. “Nancy could see that I was not happy working at a factory, however we had a baby on the way and we were saving for a house.” Over the next several years the Carpenters would have 4 children. Daniel would change jobs three times and eventually become a licenced private investigator. Opening an office in on 42nd Street in Manhattan in 1981. “I loved being a gumshoe… meeting all the interesting people and all the adventures and at that time the city was a much seedier and gritty place.”

When cases were slow Carpenter, an avid chess player would search the city for chess players to fulfill his need for competition. Carpenter became a known chess player in the army. He played all sorts of people and allegedly defeated a famous East German Chess Master while on a diplomatic assignment east of the wall. “I would tell Nancy I was working late and would scour the city for best chess opponents I could find. It sounds crazy but it kept me sharp. I loved playing the bums around the port authority. Those guys sometimes we’re better and smarter than some of the professional players. Some of those fellas were undercover savants.” “I sat on the sidewalk of 43rd and Broadway once for 3 hours playing this one guy by a dumpster, over and over again… and I could not beat him.” “I would sometimes have an epiphany during a match and run back to the office after the game to work on the case.”

In 1986 a client of Carpenter’s was unable to pay in full for his investigator services and offered him two tickets to see CATS. The wildly popular Broadway show had been out since 1981 and was still the highest grossing show in New York. Carpenter accepted the tickets and brought his wife to see the show. “I was immediately enthralled and had to have more, I started taking Nancy to all the Broadway shows… La Cage Aux Folles, 42nd Street, Drood, Sweet Charity… she loved them and so did I. So much so I stopped chasing down chess players and started studying theatre.”

Over the next few years Daniel Carpenter would earn a PH.D. in Drama and become a performing art professor at the local college in Nashua, New Hampshire. It would be here that Carpenter would stay as a professor for many years before retiring in 2014. “My four children have given me 11 grandchildren so I wanted to spend more time with them.”

If you think that in the last 5 Years of retirement that Daniel Carpenter has slowed down, you have another thing coming. Daniel Carpenter has already earned a blackbelt in Kempo, won the county chilli cookoff two years in a row, hosts the annual christmas tree lighting ceremony at his church, directs the community theatre troupe and has taken a stab at philanthropy. Daniel Carpenter started a non-profit foundation that funds theater programs in underprivileged school districts. He has even brought famous retired stage actors to guest teach theater. However Carpenter didn’t stop there, this upcoming year Daniel intends to begin competing as an amateur MMA Fighter in a local circuit. “People often remark about how young I look although I’m in my mid-60s and despite all I do. I tell them it’s a gift and a curse, sometimes I wish I could just sit still and enjoy retirement like most people my age, but I can’t. It drives my wife crazy.”

Now Daniel Carpenter is attempting to enter the rap game, but not for the fame but for his charity work. “I was driving down three-o-five right where I was born in Simsbury and heard this advertisement for a Rap battle in Hartford for a prize of twelve-thousand dollars… and I thought to myself about how that money could be used for good.” Unfortunately for Carpenter he was too late to register for last years tournament however he is hopeful he will win the 2020 competition. “My kids think I’m crazy and I don’t blame them, everyone has thought I was crazy at one point or another.” When asked about how his progress in rap Carpenter declined to elaborate stating “I can’t give you the secret to my sauce before the taste testing,” and carpenter knows a thing or two about taste testing, his busy wall of trophies and awards features his “Annual Chilli Cook-Off — 1st Place” awards for 2014 and 2015. “The way I see it is… this is a mix of everything I know. Music, Drama and Chess.” When asked why chess Carpenter remarked “Chess is pure strategy and rhythm, knowing your opponent and exposing their weaknesses… and knowing the right moment to strike… like martial arts too I suppose… it’s a discipline.”

Carpenter has sure been active in retirement and it seems anything that this 64 year old husband, father, teacher, soldier, detective, chess player and philanthropist puts his mind to he accomplishes. Carpenter shares that the secret to his life of success and accomplishments is having dreams. “Never forget how to have you imagination, never forget that your only limitations are what you let limit you, working hard at something you like… isn’t hard.” Carpenter hopes his wacky and eclectic life story will inspire others to take the first step. commercial interior design california

[acehotel]

Just/Talk: Justin Strauss with “Breakbeat Lou” Flores

“BreakBeat Lou” Flores has been a student of sound since he was three years old. The legendary Bronx-born DJ, B-Boy and hip hop pioneer — whose modus operandi could be summed up by the line, “If it’s funky, it’s funky” — cut his sonic teeth in the early 70s in New York City, where he says “there was no better recipe” for hip hop to happen. Here he chats with longtime Ace friend and fellow New York mainstay Justin Strauss for this edition of Just/Talk about the octopoidal nature of being a DJ, soaking records in bathtubs to hide their labels from rival music crews and the first record he ever bought. 

Justin Strauss: In my mind, you’re one of the architects of hip hop. You were there at a very important part of New York and music culture. What was your introduction to music? Obviously, it’s been a passion — what triggered that?

Lou Flores: Well, the music started at a very early age. My mother used to have a social club in the Bronx, and at the age of three I got the interest in playing the bongos because I had seen the band members rehearse. When my mother was opening the club up, I gravitated.

JS: How old were you?

LF: I was three. So I learned to play bongos first and then congas at the age of three, and that really catapulted the love for the intricacies of music. In my household, my mother, on the weekends, she was always playing. Wake up in the morning, it was cleaning day, so she was always playing music, everything from The Beatles, Elvis, Frankie Lyman, Marvin Gaye, so it wasn’t just Latin music. It was a little bit of everything, so my palate for music was very cultured from the beginning as far as I can remember.

JS: This is in the 60s?

LF: This is in the 60s, early 60s for sure.

JS: You were working and helping out in the club, hanging out in the club.

LF: Yeah, just hanging out.

JS: And the club was in the Bronx?

LF: Yes the Bronx, 138th and Brook Avenue. My mother and I were extremely, extremely close. My mother was my hero. In most cases, most have the father, but my mother was my hero. The man that I am today across the board, even in music, it comes because of her. She gave me that love and passion, respect and the love for music.

JS: Was that something you knew you were going to pursue at any certain point?

LF: No. I was heavy into sports when I was younger, but I think the first thing that really got me, that touched me, the bug that really touched me, was in New York City, there’s the numbers game that people play. So I was young, I played the number one time. I had a dollar, played the number. Well, this is 1973,  and I won the number. One dollar got me seven dollars, so I went to a record store.

JS: And the numbers is street lottery?

LF: Illegal lottery, street gambling. Musically, first thing was a Willie Colon album called El Malo, which featured a record called “Che Che Cole,” which featured, at that time, Héctor Lavoe. I loved the record to death. I used to play with my mother’s albums. She was like, “Stop playing my record. You’re going to wear my record out.” When I played the number that day, I won, and I went to a record store and bought my first record in 1973, a 45 of “Che Che Cole,” which I still own to this day.

LF: It’s 1973, at that same period, this whole culture called hip hop started to bubble up.

JS: It wasn’t known as hip hop.

LF: It wasn’t known as hip hop. You started hearing the jams at block parties. It was going on. You would hear those things, but there wasn’t the continuous aspect as the break beat facet of the culture. At that time, B-Boys weren’t called B-Boys yet, but I was already dancing in 1973.

JS: Where were you going? Just to clubs or parties ?

LF: Not even clubs. This is block parties, or house parties, that’s the way mainly the whole thing of New York, especially in the Bronx was the house parties. We had parties for everything. We had birthday parties, Christmas, Thanksgiving, rent parties.

JS: What DJs were playing — was it Kool Herc?

LF: No, this is before him. Way before that. But, you would hear guys like PBJ Jones doing certain things in the Bronx, you would hear other guys that were not as notable as Kool Herc. But that actually had equipment, because, think about it… in those days, getting two turntables and a mixer was extremely expensive. Then a little while after, you started hearing about this guy that had this vision playing this continuous musical interlude. That’s the best way to describe it, which became what they call, “rocking the breaks.”

He would take the intro of a record that had a featured drum or a breakdown of a record, which usually means the music tends to leave a portion on the record and you would hear mainly just drums, baseline or just a very sparse aspect of music. Just concentrating on a groove more than a melody. So, that he was concentrating on that because he noticed that when that part would come in, the height of the activity of his parties would come when these breakdowns would come into play. He concentrated on that to get the energy of the particular event to have a peak period. So, instead of having it flow 30 or 40 seconds, he extended it for a couple of minutes. But it wasn’t two copies, yet. At the time, he was rocking… he would go from break to break. It was playing, let’s say from "The Mexican” breakdown, to the “Give It Up Turnit a Loose” breakdown, to the “It’s Just Begun” breakdown and vice versa.

JS: These records were all from different genres?

LF: Yeah, “The Mexican” by Babe Ruth was a rock record, “Give It Up or Turnit a Loose” was a James Brown record and Jimmy Castor’s “Just Begun” was a combination… was leaning more into a disco aspect, but not really disco, but had the funk aspect to it. So, it was a multicultural, multi-genre facet of music display. Because at that time in New York, if you know… New York was very multicultural. 

JS: Very diverse.

LF: Diverse listening palette for music, I remember at that time, I think it was WABC was the main station that everyone was listening and you heard everything from Marvin Gaye to Aerosmith so, New York was probably more cultural than most places in the country, I would say. So, that started bubbling up.

JS: When did you start digging for records?

LF: I started working 1978. Real quick, in 1974, I started DJing. I joined this crew called, The Paradise Crew. Which is one of the first crews that came out. So, from 1974 to spring of 77, there was few and far between crews that came out that actually had systems. Here comes the 1977 blackout and for whatever reason, the city decided to donate systems to a lot of kids. And, I’m being facetious.… the stores were vandalized and looted … and from you having one DJ crew in a matter of a two mile radius. Now you have a DJ crew every three blocks. So, that was 1977. For sure, from 1974 to 1977, I was really… more or less… a bedroom DJ, I helped carry record crates for DJs and stuff like that, so I wasn’t really hard-bodied into it. Come 1978, I got booked to do my first hookie party in New York.

JS: What’s a hookie party?

LF: Hookie project is when you left school at 12 o'clock and you stood somewhere else 'til three o'clock and made believe you were at school, but you weren’t at school.

JS: You were in your own school.

LF: Exactly. So, I got hired to do that. We went to a friend’s basement where his father was the Super. We set up equipment and we rocked there. So, that particular summer, I got a job at Crazy Eddie’s. Which used to be a electronics and record store chain in the tri-state area. I was hearing this break that Afrika Bambaataa was playing and I didn’t know what the heck it was. One day I was putting records away while working at Crazy Eddie. I saw this 45 promo, which I was already gravitating to promos. I put the record on and it was Manzel’s “Space Funk”.

JS: That was the record?

LF: That was the first digging record that I bought in 1978 and after that I became a hard-core digger… I decided just everywhere I would go, from Brad’s Records to Bleecker Bob’s, to The Music Factory, to Downstairs Records. Just looking for records, looking for breaks. And, I would spend every penny my mom would give me for lunch money went to that. Every little gig that I would get, would go into records so… 1978 was when the bug really bit me and I became hardcore embedded into DJing and hardcore embedded into digging.

JS: And, at the parties where you DJ’d were people rapping and rhyming over records? Is that something that was starting already?

LF: I would say, by 1975 it really caught on real heavy. Because that’s when you have Grandmaster Flash, the Furious Three and then you had the Mighty Fours which in turn became the Cold Crush Brothers. You had Funky Four Plus One More, you had Masterdon Committee, you had Soulsonic Force. You had The Jazzy Five. 

JS: What year is that?

LF: This is from 74 all the way to 76.

JS: Okay, that’s pretty early.

LF: Yeah, there were crews already in those days. 

JS: This phenomenon hadn’t come downtown yet.

LF: Yeah. It hadn’t come downtown yet. This is before the Negril parties downtown, this is before Michael Holman, this is before all those days —

JS: Okay. I remember when I was DJing at the Ritz in 1980 and they had the Sugarhill night. It was one of the first downtown hip hop events.

LF: Oh, yeah.

JS: And The Funky Four, Grandmaster Flash, Sugarhill Gang all played and everybody was blown away. You’re really not old enough to be in clubs at this point, correct?

LF: No, but those days nobody cared. My sister was the one that enabled me to go because she’s older than me by a few years. She would go so it enabled me to go into these clubs. I was a dancer, at least in 73… so I was already dancing hustle from 74���75, so I would dance with my sister. So, it was an attraction. My sister and I became known as dancers. And, people would look at us and they were like… okay, so that’s why I was let into most of these little jams back in the day. So, I was able to be exposed to that life really early on because I was a dancer.

JS: It was important. So, you DJ’d at these parties and your friends and crews started developing?

LF: Yeah, then everybody wanted to be like Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Three — everybody wanted to be like The Mighty Four. So, the crews started developing there and I had a crew already. We used to rock every so often. It would be simple, at that time I would consider more like nursery rhymes kind of things. Like rhyming Mikey and Nike. And, stuff like that. But, the thing was everybody wanted to be rapping on a beat. Like these, what I call, Ghetto Superstars, because these guys became iconic to a lot of the young generation that we had. Because, think about it, in the beginning of the 70s we were losing a lot of cultural things in school. We weren’t getting enough art classes, we weren’t getting enough music classes. So, that hunger and thirst that we had, that creative aspect was being fed to us through what became hip hop.

So, the music aspect of being creative and even in just a rapping cadence that wasn’t really singing, but you had this new thing of rocking over just a drum beat mainly. And, being able to create some kind of poetry on rhythm over these particular beats that became a bold thing to do. So, it became a thing that everybody wanted to have… every crew wanted to have some guy that would be able to be on the mic. What we called crowd pleasing in those days, because it was more like, you know, people say, “Ho”... So, it was more of a call and response kind of situation. It became something that was extremely attractive to the youth and especially in the hood. It was something that you didn’t have to get caught up with, not joining any gang, or anything like that. You had the dancing, you had the music and then you had the entertaining person, Master of Ceremony. Which became the MC, which became attractive and a peaceful thing to be around.

JS: And, you guys would go from party to party, setting up your own equipment, bringing all the records —

LF: Yeah. Because it became a competitive thing. My crew is better than yours.

JS: And, did your crew each have certain records that you wouldn’t want anybody else to know about?

LF: That’s how it started. The thing was to discover the break that nobody else had. Something that fit that mold but nobody knew about. Think about it, even at that early time, a lot of records were very unknown to people. So, you will find, in the dollar bins, you would find them, like at Korvettes or Woolworth.

JS: Records that were basically ignored.

LF: Yeah.

JS: The rest of the record might have been terrible but if it had twenty seconds of an amazing break...

LF: It was incredible, I remember the first time we heard, we used to call it “Toys in the Attic,” by Aerosmith, it was “Walk This Way.” Even the Black Sabbath, the first album, that drum break. It was incredible. “When The Levee Breaks” by Led Zeppelin. Even though we weren’t really into a rock kind of situation, but those drum breaks were that phenomenal that we gravitated to that.

The Winstons was a gospel group that had a big record, won a Grammy but the B-side became the biggest record they ever had, which was the “Amen Brother” break. Which you know, by us bringing that out into the world, made it what it became. But, it was just those kind of things, to be unique enough and find records that nobody else had but that fit the mold. And, you know, Bambaataa was the master of that. I can only say this, the culture wouldn’t be what it was, or there wouldn’t be the name breakbeat culture if it wasn’t for Bam because he set the template for the music being so versatile. Because he would say break beats are not genre specific. If it’s funky, it’s funky.

JS: The Monkees was one of his, I remember him playing “Mary Mary,” like, I heard that and I was like, “Wow!” Remember there was this, obviously the competition between the crews and you guys would scratch off the labels so nobody would know each other’s records.

LF: I will go even further. I would put the record in the bathtub with water so the label completely comes off. So, you wouldn’t know anything.

JS: And, everyone wanted to know what it was —

LF: Exactly, because I know, I remember one of the biggest things for me. I remember I went to a street jam and Charlie Chase was playing. He was playing, “Rocket in the Pocket” by Cerrone. So, I’m looking at his record and it’s Atlantic Records and I’m like, “What the heck is this freaking record?” So, you were very secretive so he told me, I mean, for whatever reason, I asked him and he goes, “Cerrone.” And, I’m like, “Cerrone? Okay, fine.” I go to Crazy Eddie’s and I see Cerrone Four and I see “Rocket in the Pocket,” this is the record. I play the record and I said, “This is not the freaking record, it’s a disco record. What the heck was he playing?” But, then Cerrone was on Cotillion Records, it wasn’t on Atlantic. So, I’m looking, I’m saying, “But this is not the same thing, what the heck!” So, I don’t know if you remember Cerrone had, there was two releases. There was one with a white cover and there was one with a black cover. So, I found the black cover. So, I found the black cover, I said, "This has to be it. It was the same crap record. So, then one day, I was looking in the bin. And, something comes in that’s this live Cerrone album. And, I’m like, “What the heck is this, double album?” So, I look and I see, “Rocket in the Pocket.” I open the back of the thing and it said Atlantic Records and I said "Damn, this has to be it.” So, I put it on and it’s like, real slow. I’m like, “It doesn’t sound like it,” but because, I know what we were doing already, there.

We would take 45s and put them on 33. We would take 33 and put it on 45. I played that on 45 and I was like, at least I know what that was. But, before that, I was thinking the record that he had was so worn out that, that’s what you heard the “Shhhhh” which really wasn’t worn out, it was the applause from the live crowd. And, then you stumble records like that. But, then when I found out, I easily was able to find the record he had, that’s where I decided to take the whole label off. And, I was like, nah, my cannons, secret weapons, you’re not going to find out. No.

JS: But you eventually used a lot of this knowledge. What was the inspiration for the Ultimate Breaks and Beats series of records, which basically laid the foundation for a lot of what came in hip hop and other genres after those records were released?

LF: Well, it’s two-fold. Lenny Roberts is the founder and co-creator and what I would say, the money man behind all the records I was involved in as far as break beats. We started doing bootleg 12 inches because we couldn’t find all the obscure records and people wanted them. Then all of a sudden, Bambaataa said to Lenny, I’ve got two tapes that I want you to put out and make a 12 inch out of.

So, we were like, sure. The one side was a live recording of Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five at Bronx River and then the other side was a pause-tape done by Afrika Islam, which became the infamous Bozo Meko 12 inch with “Fusion Beats” on one side and “Flash it to The Beat” on the other side.

When we put out this particular 12 inch, it outsold every other 12 inch that we had. And, the reason why is because that pause-tape that was done by Islam had multiple records. He had “Champ” by the Mohawks. He had the “Get Up, Get Int It, Get Involved” by James Brown and then he had Dyke and the Blazers “Let a Woman Be a Woman.” 

So, it had those three records on it, so it became more of a compilation than just a single 12 inch. At the same time Super Disco Brake’s — Paul Winley was putting his records out. The thing that Paul Winley was not conscious of, or he didn’t care two bits about what the culture was. The quality of the records he put out was horrible. He had put, “Take Me to the Mardi Gras” with a skip on it. He wasn’t using virgin vinyl either. So, we saw that. So, we said, let’s create one ourselves that would compliment what we did with the Fusion Beats 12”. We thought, “What can we do to make it attractive for DJs?” We’re not going to call it ‘”Disco Breaks” because we’re trying to get away from disco.

So, we’re going to call it “Break Beats.” If you look back at the late 70s, early 80s time… the DJ did almost everything. The DJ took care of everything. So, that’s why the logo became the octopus. But, if you look at it, it only has six tentacles out of eight. The DJ was the MC when he had to be, the DJ dealt with the strobe light, the DJ was the sound guy and the DJ also DJ’d the two turntables. So, we were trying to show that aspect of a DJ. 

JS: This is the era before sampling records had begun.

LF: This is 1980. DJs were either scratching the record or just throwing in record. No one was even thinking about sampling drums or anything. 

JS: Right, this is strictly for DJs. Who’s the first one to record, in your mind, the first rap record?

LF: Well, that’s a big argument between the Fatback Band, “King Tim III” and then Sugarhill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight.” I think those as far as rap records as we know it, from the hip hop standpoint. But, if you want to hear the first record that has a cadence and it sounds like hip hop and everything else, it’s Pigmeat Markham, “Here Comes the Judge” — 1968. It has the same cadence and everything. But, it wasn’t done with that mindset. But as far as rap as we know it, there is a big dispute between Fatback Band and Sugarhill Gang as to which was actually released first. As far as in New York, it was Sugarhill Gang. And, Sugarhill Gang fit more of the mold, because it was recorded like you were rocking over a break beat, which was “Good Times” by Chic even though it was played live.  

JS: I started DJing at the Mudd Club in New York City in 1980 and I was just buying everything. I bought every kind of record, Everything was new. Punk, New Wave, disco, hip hop all at the same time. It was an amazing period.

LF: It’s like I said, New York is the only place that it could have happened as far as hip hop and let’s say punk and all of that stuff is because the melting pot of people in New York in cultures, there’s no other place in the world that was like New York, let’s say from early to mid-70s to early to mid-80s. There was no better recipe for that to happen than New York.

LF: The club scenes and the rebellious aspect to it that we had at that time was just everything, it was like the perfect dish that we needed to cook, it had to be cooked in New York at that particular time.

JS: So with the Ultimate Breaks and Beats series, was it an immediate success?

LF: Yeah. And, another point I want to bring across is the reason we also put those records out in the early 80ss. Then what was happening was, some of the second generation of DJs that were making hip hop, instead of the cutting up break beats because they couldn’t find them, they were cutting up rap records. They were cutting up “Love Rap,” they were cutting up “Feel the Heartbeat,” they were cutting up “Catch the Beat.” Good drum breaks, but they weren’t break beats per se. They were rap records that had drum breaks in it. So, that’s another reason that we wanted to keep doing it… to make sure it continues to have a solid legacy, that the foundations are intact. So, for me the foundation for what we know and what we love as hip hop is the break beats. 

JS: How many volumes did you end up doing?

LF: We ended up doing 25, a total of 25.

JS: When you were doing them, do you think about, I don’t want to put this… I want to keep this for myself. Or were you happy to share the knowledge?

LF: On volumes one through nine, which we did as bootlegs, were to cover the foundations of break beats. We got a lot of flack from a lot of OGs for sure. But, again, we have to keep the DJ culture alive, and keep the hip hop culture alive. But then by 1986, when we decided to do the Ultimate Breaks and Beats, as legal records. That’s when sampling came into play. So, now you have a different dynamic of what music is being used for.

JS: So, now sampling becomes a thing. Do you remember when you first became aware of sampling and how that changed everything as far as record production and hip hop production in particular? Because now record producers, like myself included, were buying you series and sampling for our productions. So music would sound a lot different now without those records. 

LF: 1986. Yeah.This is my motto. I would say that we were instrumental for keeping hip hop, hip hop. In the sense that the aesthetic sonic dynamic that hip hop has would not have been what it is, if we had not put those records out. Starting in 86. Because, when Marly Marl stumbled on sampling the kick and snare, that changed everything. That changed the whole… to me, it brought the rap music back to the park. That’s where I say, because it sounded like the records or the performances that you heard back in the parks in those days, so it took it to a new level of appreciation and creativity because, after a while, there’s only so much you can do with a drum machine … from the DMX or the BX or 808 or the 909, that was around along with the LinnDrum, you know there’s only so many styles you can do. When you were able to take all the kick snare from different drum machines and make it sound the way you want it because, if you look in the first two records that Marly Marl produced with that technique, it was Boogie Down Productions’ “The Bridge Is Over” and “Eric B. Is President,” by Eric B. and Rakim. It just changed the whole dynamic, it was like, how the heck do you do this? 

JS: So, that started a whole industry of people clearing samples and making a whole lot of money for people who might have never made money from the original release or hadn’t in years. You helped a lot of people, in a way.

LF: Exactly. Syl Johnson said it best when he said, “As much as people may hate sampling, I love sampling. Because sampling bought me my house, sampling gave me a new life to a new generation and sampling kept my legacy alive.” We exposed a lot of artists that were not really known and kept their legacy alive. 

Also if it wasn’t for reggae, there would be no hip hop. In reality. The whole aspect of playing with the systems and talking on the mic while music was going on came from the “toasting” aspect of reggae music. So that played an intricate part in what we were doing. But, in a million years, I didn’t think it was going to be that huge. And, the thing is, I knew exactly when it changed. It changed exactly between 84–86. It was two pivotal points. It was Crazy Legs doing the Flashdance movie which gave a new audience to the culture of hip hop through the B-Boys. Those two things were extremely pivotal. That changed the whole dynamic aspect of how hip hop was being heard and how hip hop was being seen.

JS: One record I want to talk about, because I think it’s so important for many reasons, is “The Message” by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five featuring Melle Mel. Lyrically it changed everything in hip hop at that point. 

LF: Well, let me tell you a story about our record which people don’t understand. That same rhyme was said by Melle Mel a year prior on an Enjoy Records called “Super Rapping.” If you look at “Super Rapping,” go all the way to the end of the record, it’s the same rhyme. But, the energy of that record was totally different, much faster, like a party record. By the record being slowed down a little, the music being slowed down a little, giving it more or less a psychedelic sound and then him delivering that rhyme as it was is what changed the dynamic. So, a lot of it had to do with the way music was being presented as more of a bed for the rhyme. Because you look back earlier, as far as the culture, remember it’s always been a party, dancing crowd. This actually changed it to push the lyrical aspect to the forefront. 

JS: And “White Lines,” again by Grandmaster Flash sampled or replayed the bass line from a Downtown New York band, Liquid Liquid, was massive in all the clubs, Uptown and Downtown. 

LF: And, I think we played a big part in that because we put Liquid Liquid on Volume 9 of the Ultimate Breaks and Beats. Which was used as a break because Bambaataa was using it in his sets.

JS: So, let’s fast forward a bit. Now, you’re back into music full time?

LF: Yeah. I left, for 12 years, I worked in the banking, the financial area and I was miserable. Great money but I was miserable and I had to come back to my passion so 2009, I came back and this is what I do now. This is how I live, breathe, DJing, producing all over the world. I’ve been blessed too. Starting first on the lecture circuit. Teaching it, breaking down a historical aspect of what this culture is. Then people finding out I DJ also.

JS: How do you feel about hip hop today? LF: Hip hop has always been very different in many different ways. There’s good and bad of course and there’s also an individuality aspect of it. So, I say this, at the end of the day, hip hop has always been the music of the youth and it speaks more as a youth language. So, what I would say is this, the language they’re speaking, it is speaking to the youth, the only problem that I may have with hip hop is that the individuality of hip hop is not being utilized the way that it’s supposed to be. And, I’m saying this to say that in our era, as you know, it took more than just having Apple Garage Band and iTunes to bring a record to the masses. When I go to do lectures, I’ll tell them, before, when we had to do a record back in our day, it literally took blood, sweat and tears. 

But, I still respect a lot of it. Because I think there’s creativity and everything else. Anderson Paak – he’s extremely creative, J. Cole is another guy that’s extremely creative that I think deserves the second listen to, third listen to. That’s on that side. There’s a young kid, incredible, by the name of Cavalier. Out of Brooklyn and now lives in Atlanta. Extremely creative, even down to the sounds. You don’t even hear the mundane 808 that everybody is using. Or the mundane keyboard pads that everybody is using. So, people are actually taking it to the next level.

Then you got guys like Adrian Young. I don’t know if you know who Adrian Young is. He’s taken it to a whole different level, he’s probably the most impressive to me because he’s taken the bull by its horn and broken down how it’s done. He has an incredible studio in LA. Down to vintage board, an incredible sound room, everything from the Rhodes and to the grand piano that he uses. He’s captured that side. I think he’s probably the one I’ve been most impressed by in a long time sonically. And, every album that I hear, again, we’ve been students to this sound for a long time and he’s captured that sound extremely well, extremely well.

And, another guy, an old goodie but classic guy that does that on a regular basis, I don’t know if you’ve heard Kenny Dope’s regular R&B or funk stuff. In those projects, he’s captured the essence also. I’ve been privy and honored to have seen and heard some of the projects and if I close my eyes I can honestly think that this is something that was recorded in the 60s. That’s how good it sounds. So, those — as far as music — those things sound incredible to me.

JS: So, you’re still inspired.

LF: Oh, everyday. I have to be, man. I think, this is the way I feel. You have to be a lover and respect the views. You have to be a lover and respect of the craft that you do and you have to be a lover and respecter of the culture of what we do. And, I think again, we haven’t seen each other in a trillion years, but your impact and the way you put music together — even from those days that we were doing this the old fashioned way — was impressive to me. And, even listen to some of that stuff way back, like the other day, I was listening to your Debbie Harry remix and the drums you did, I’m like, “What they heck, this freaking guy just took this record and made a freestyle sound out of it.”

JS: You were an inspiration as well. I always went into the studio armed with a handful of Ultimate Breaks and Beats albums, as well as other stuff that I would find. It’s been an honor to have stayed in touch. And, we were always connected through music and through our mutual friend, the editor supreme Chep Nuñez, who edited a lot of my remixes and who is someone I think about to this day when I make music and I miss him. 

LF: If it wasn’t for him we would have never had met, and you helped cultivate my sonic ear.

[fantasyizlife]

Toms crotch rocket

Toms crotch rocket 

Summary: Tom Holland gets a new hobby interest with a motorbike. He’s all about safety and learns best hands on. Especially when Brooklyn, his new instructor takes him for a test drive! 

Warnings: drinking--smut---unprotected sex--angst

Word count: a breezy 7833

I zipped up my black leather jacket and let my blonde ponytail show out the back of my helmet. I started my Kawasaki Ninja H2R with a flicker of movement. The rumble between my kitty was a low purr, just how I liked it until I was ready to allow it more power. I took in a deep breath and rubbed my glossy lips together. As a curvy goddess, I knew there was no competition out there in the crowd tonight...except for the curly brown haired hottie and his blue eyed friend. The blonde one winked at me as he nodded to his buddy who was facing the winner of our race. The curly one smiled for days and that spark in his eye told me he was the dangerous one. They had just enough heat between them to almost distract me.

 “Shit, almost!” I said cocky out loud as I popped my ass out and gripped the break as I twisted the throttle to rev up my engine and gave my tires some spin, leaving pink smoke behind. He pulled slightly ahead of me shaking his head. Probably in disbelief as he was told I gave him a 2 second head start. It was all for the same reasons that he didn't burnout to shake the dirt off and get his tires warmed up. He was a baby in this game that I was born into. I shook my head right back. “Fucking newborn's on a land missle” I said making the engine roar and rumble under my kitty as I showed off adjusting my sex until my bike scratched that itch. Yeah, I loved to fucking ride and win. It made me smile on both lips. I focused my eyes on the Christmas tree and twisted the throttle hard demanding more power. He followed my actions giving me the sound I ached to hear. The high pitch of a freshly purchased bike with all the bells and whistles, known as training wheels,that us real riders loved to laugh at. Shit this sexy guy might have just bought himself another 2 second head start. Then I'd show him what real power looked like. I steadied my body and kept focused as I counted the seconds from the squeal of his tires. He already blew the jump-start and lost before it started but this was all  for fun. I felt the rush surge through me as I passed him with lighting fast speed.

  I pulled my bike around and lined up to kick his friends ass now. But this man had more confidence. I could tell he was a newbie by the way he forced his helmet on and patted the top. His poor curls being smashed in the process. He had a ton of people around him and it wasn't until he closed his helmet revealing the black spider did it click. This sexy man is Tom Holland aka..Spiderman. Wow he is really new at this racing thing. I was in the shop the day he stopped to buy this new bike of his. He placed a custom order for a  Spiderman helmet like the one he had on. He had fallen in love with these motorcycles the day he did press at one of my uncles races last month. I felt my nipples push at the tight restraints they were in. Yep my kitty was revved up now. Tom's cherry was mine for the taking. I mock blew a kiss his way, hidden under my tinted helmet, I bit my lip truly wishing him the best. He was like a kid on Christmas when he bought my competition street bike The Ducati V4. My family looked out for him making sure he would learn about his bike and how to ride so he wouldn’t kill himself, per his mums orders Nikki. They were a tight loving family, I enjoyed talking with his brother Harry and kept my distance from the Spiderman. He was contagious with his boyish ways and sweet hearted charm, he lived in the moments of life. I once lived that way, now I knew better. It was also why he was riding the user friendly smaller Ninja tonight. Little did he know I would be schooling him come tomorrow. Tonight was all about my self satisfaction.  “Hello Kitty meet Spiderman!” I breathed out as we lined up. I took a moment to marvel at his arms and the veins that pulsed as he burned his tires. I smiled knowing my uncle had told him to do that. I set my eyes on the Christmas tree, ready for my victory.  We launched off at the same time. Tom put up a good fight that first 60 feet until he dropped the clutch too early allowing me to cross that finish line a full 3 seconds ahead of him.

 I smirked at the blonde one as I pulled my helmet off and let my hair loose. It cascaded down my back as I walked over to the bright lights of the wild crowd. I was smitten with myself as Tom joined my side accepting 2nd place and handing me his envelope. I mouthed thank you as his hand eclipsed mine. He grabbed a pen from a girl asking for his autograph and scribbled down his number. I smiled big only on the inside and accepted the envelope. I took out my cash and brushed my hand against his, giving back his number. I mouthed no thank you and winked. He raised his sexy eyebrow at me and I could feel his hot gaze following my ass as I swayed my hips to the private club for members only. I flipped him off without turning around earning his adorable laugh. I was thankful for the cool air that coated my damp skin as I removed the hot coat from my flesh. Thankfully my full breasts didn't slip out of the sexy sports bra that held them high in place. I peeled the race gear from my body and did a quick freshen up. PLAY TIME!

“Hi doll! The usual?" James asks from behind the bar as I made my way back from the bathroom. “You know me James, just like popping cherries and dreams, the usual” I laughed as he fixes me a tall glass of Sangria on the rocks. I could feel Toms stare from across the room as I pulled out my phone from my tight low rise jean shorts. I pretended to not notice him, luring him like a moth to a flame. I’m obsessed with the chase after a win, but I always went home alone. Tonight I was set on taking him with me. He sat on my right forcing my back to his sexy friend. Tom was staking his claim. That was a hella insta turn on for me. He held my eyes as he politely asked for another beer.

“Hello darling, my names Tom" he smiled with a thicker English accent than I had remembered him having. I held out my hand and he kissed it..predictable.

“Hello Tom, I'm Brooklyn, friends call me Brooke" I smiled waving at James for a refill. I was set on making my night unforgettable as well as Toms. “You owe me 45 dollars by the way" I teased.

He looked at me curious and I leaned closer so only he could hear me. “Popping your cherry out there made me soak my panties, now there in the garbage, it was part of a set, limited edition.”

He licked his lips and leaned in closer. So close I could feel his breath on my neck. It made me shiver to my core. This was it...the moment of truth. Would I get my prize?

“I'm commando myself Brooke, so now we're on level playing fields” He traced a rough hand gently down my arm and latched onto my belt loop facing me fully towards him. My nipples pebbled under his gaze as he chewed his lip. “Now we're even" he said husky meeting my eyes.

I swallowed hard noticing his rather large bulge sticking from his jeans. He cleared his throat as his blue eye friend approached us with shots “You wanna head out with us Tom, we apparently have bikes on training wheels, they want to show us a big boy bike” his friend laughed breaking my gaze away from Tom. Whoa, he was breathtaking “Hi I'm Brooklyn” I smiled taking the shot “Thank you..umm?” I paused as Tom took his shot and handed the glass back to his buddy

“He’s my mate Harrison, and he was just leaving” Tom said quickly as he placed a blazing hand on my bare thigh making me clench my sex from the bolt of lust that shot through to my core.  

“Yep that I am" Harrison smiled handing Tom his phone and turned to follow the crowd of their friends. I felt his finger rub circles on my inner thigh and I had to suppress my moan. Wow, it's been awhile for me. Two fucking years, not even so much as a kiss. I wanted it all with him.

 “Let's dance, I wanna see how you move...Tom is it?” I teased standing up pressing my soft body against his rock hard one. He was only an inch taller and it made his cock rub up against my sex as he cupped my ass and slammed his beer. We grinded and felt everywhere we could without putting on too much of a show. If I had one more Sangria in me I'd probably of taken more risks. We took a break from fucking on the dance floor as I hold up two fingers for two shots of tequila. Tom does the same and James sets down four shots.

“Do you do this often?” I teased  as he started to show his shyness. I wasn’t letting it happen.

“Do what Brooklyn?” he asks tilting my face and rubbing my lips. He looked fascinated by my boldness. Or my newness. He was probably high from this atmosphere, it happens.  

“Suck at racing so you can pick up chicks?” I smiled nipping at his finger.

He let out a laugh and then pulled me into him. My body temperature rises as the tequila drifts into my blood. I licked my lower lip and then rip my eyes from his hard body. I noticed his hands first, rough and callused although he’s a Hollywood hot shot, it’s clear they’re from years of Tom's hard work, something most of the stars know little about.

“I believe you picked me up love" he said coming dangerously close to kissing me.

“Do you do this often?” he asked in all fairness, his lips so close. So kissable.

“I don’t honestly… often or… ever” I lean in and press my lips to his, stopping my need to explain my desire for him. He didn’t need to know about me and how I closed out human contact when my I lost my fiance. Tom was hot, I was hot. Tom ignited my flame  and by the responses he's shown so far, I had him in my ring of fire. Tom moves his hand to my cheek and then behind my head as I deepen the kiss. His hot mouth opens and my tongue massages his in fast, strong strokes, just like his cock would be treated. He groaned into my open mouth, as I twisted his hair in my hands. He broke away from the kiss and started to ask for the bill. I pulled his hand down to my lips and kissed it before leading us out the back door.

 We were both comfortably quite as we walked back hand and hand to my RV parked at the back of the rows. This event in particular drew people in probably just to get a glimpse of their hero Spiderman. I could care less. Yeah, he was the famous Tom Holland. But to me he was the first man I ever wanted to get lost with since..well, two years ago. I stopped abruptly almost missing the light on in my trailer that kept my bike safe. I pulled him inside and walked around her to check my baby out. Tom tried not to smile as he watched me caress my bike. I reached in my cooler and pulled out another beer for him. I didn't want him to think I was second guessing him so I patted my seat and asked him to sit. He moved quick happy to take my orders, yum!

“A quick lesson in riding for speed Tom" I whispered with seduction as I straddled the front of my bike and slid underneath him. His jaw twitched as he took a swig of beer and eyed my full breasts that ached for him. “Your body has to hug the bike, you have to hold tight to every curve and make it bend to your demands, no matter if your slow and steady" I said biting my lip and pulling his hair “Or fast and reckless, make your crotch rocket your bitch”

With those words I watched any trace of shy Tom leave his body. He pulled me onto his lap and I took the beer letting it roll away from my bike as he took off his shirt. He gripped my thighs rocking his own back and forth and he unhooked my bra. His hot mouth sucked my breast while the other was pinched and rubbed to its hardest form. When he was satisfied he swapped it out. I undid the top two buttons of his fly and seen his naked pounding head beaded with cum.

“Shit you are commando” I gasped as he ran his fingers under my shorts and traced my wet kitty. I tossed my head back wanting to throw all thoughts of foreplay out the window and just sink down on his cock right here.  I let out a slow breath as he looked me over for more than a minute. Too many minutes. I seen his true gentleman self coming through. Shit..no pausing!  

“Your really beautiful Brooke" he said meeting my eyes. I looked away not wanting to take this deeper than it already was. This was sex, a one night fuck. He was capable of both, but I had to make sure primal Tom stayed on board or I’d be fucking myself tonight.  

 “Tom tell me you have a condom” I breathed laying back against my cold bike and moved his hands to my greedy breast. He rubbed one at time as he undid my button and zipped them down just enough to see my naked kitty. I arched my back as he ran his fingers over my folds soaking them in my silk before he plunged one finger in quickly making the choice to finger fuck me with two. I moaned loud trying to cover my mouth because if anyone was looking for him they would find a show. Tom pushed my hands away and pulled me towards him making me sit up and ride the palm of his hand. My eyes glazed over as I begged Tom in whimpers to not stop

“Say my name when you cum beautiful Brooke, tell me I make you feel good" he begged kissing my neck working his fingers in sync with my hips.

“Oh Tom don't stop, please dont stop Tom! I'm going to cum right now..” I cried out so loud

“Humm, your so wet Brooke baby, I cant wait to taste your pussy" he said making frantic circles on my clit. I grabbed his hair in one hand and scratched down his back as he sucked my nipples hard has he felt me tighten around his fingers.

“Fuck Tom wait wait" I cried out wanting this wave of pleasure to not end. I wanted him inside me more than anything! I grabbed his wrist holding it still. He fought me, still rolling his rough thumb in circles over my bundled up nerves, I was struggling to hold on “Condom, yes?” I managed to breathe out meeting his dark lustful eyes. He shook his head yes fast as he kissed me rough laying me back down on my bike.

“I only have one, so let me take care of you in lots of other ways your body deserves” he said working my pussy faster. I screamed his name as my eyes rolled into my head and I exploded. The sounds of my juices soaking his hands only added fuel to my fire for him. My body must have shown how much it needed that release because he kept his fingers inside me, working slow as I came down. I peeked up at him as he brought his wet fingers to his lips and moaned as he licked them clean.

I sat up and kissed him deep still in need of all of him as I undid more of his pants. His dick sprang free and I moaned with greed as I gripped his large cock in both hands. I pushed on him until he leaned back on his arms. I worked my hand fast under his shaft as my other hand gripped his large crown and I worked my thumb in circular motions slowing him down. I took control, it was kinda my thing, especially on my bike. He didn’t seem to mind as he looked at me with confidence biting his lip. I watched as his breathing became labored and he started to look at me with more of a need. I know what he wanted, what he needed. He wanted me to grip him tighter or put my lips around his swollen cock. I smiled at him as he struggled to ask for what he needed, perhaps Tom didn’t know. Until he asked I wasn’t stopping my movements. In this position I could keep him hard and in need for hours. He closed his eyes and moaned my name the sexiest it’s ever been said. I was so impressed I let him pump himself in my hands a few times as I gripped him tight. Then I applied the same controlling rhythm. His eyes opened to me and he finally figured it out.  

“Brooke, please…” he gasped licking his dry lips as he simultaneously throbbed in my hands “Oh fuck, I need to cum, please let me Brooke” he whimpered. I lowered my mouth down and took him all the way back until he hit my throat. I pulled him out slowly and looked in his eyes. Sweet Tom was gone, I winked at him letting him know I liked the naughty Tom. He fisted my blonde hair and held his cock up to my lips. I took him in deep and moaned as his precum set me into a frenzy. I bobbed my head up and down as he worked his hips in circles. He fucked my mouth and let out high pitched moans as he got closer. He started to sit up stopping me from finishing him off in my mouth. I held my hand against his bare sweaty chest.

“Brooke, your sure love?” he asked sounding disoriented. I answered by increasing my speed and making room for his tasty hotness in my mouth. “Oh fuck, fuck yes Brooke, I’m cumming!”

He held my head still as he pumped his load down my throat and shivered as he slid out.

 Tom looked honestly disheveled as I moved off the bike and grabbed us another beer. I picked up his shirt off the floor and he told me to put it on. His phone started to ring as he stood up on wobbly legs and tried to button his jeans. He answered the phone and followed me to my RV. I turned on the lights, leaving them on night mode so it would keep the mood where I wanted it.

“Whats up Haz?” he asked watching me with wide eyes taking off my wet shorts, leaving his shirt on. I sat on the counter and opened my legs ever so slightly. “I’m humm, I’m…” he looked around trying to focus so he didn’t tell on us. How adorable was this human?

I giggled as it was proving to be impossible as he repeated the same words. His eyebrows scrunched together as he came up with nothing. Harrison had obviously figured it out as I watched Toms face light up red. “Fuck off mate!” he said pinching the bridge of his nose. He turned around as I started to laugh hearing his friend laugh just as much. “Yeah yeah, whatever asshole, do you got any condoms? I’m in a serious situation” he tried to whisper but I could hear every word. The answer was no. And he confirmed he would be back late if at all. I raised my eyebrows at his braveness. He hung up and immediately went into nice guy mode, apologizing for having to tell his friend, for not having more condoms.Time to shut this shit down ASAP!

“Don’t take this wrong Tom, but I don’t do sleepovers, so unless you plan on fucking me all night you’ll need to let him know you��ll be returning” I said sliding off the counter putting my half of beer in the sink. He spun me in his arms and picked me up kissing me like I was his lifeline.

“I’ll take fucking you all night, where's the bedroom Brooklyn?” he said breathless. I pointed and off he carried me.

 His pants were falling off his hips as we reached the bed kissing with primal thirst. We hit the bed with such a force that if hadn’t left his t shirt on, Tom would have slid right in. I wouldn't of even cared! I never imagined it would be this intense! Not in the club, not on my bike. He bit my neck hard, marking it for sure and I arched my back beckoning him to go lower.

“I can’t wait to taste your pussy Brooklyn” Tom said rolling his shirt off my body. He looks at me closer and I’m amazed I let him. “Can I taste it now?” he asks and I whimper out a yes. I sit on my elbows and watch as his brown curls tickle my soft skin and his teeth graze my flesh. FUCK he’s moving too slow. I hang my blonde head back and pull my body up so his next kiss is at my belly button. He makes me snap my head back up to look at him as he nips at my thighs asking them to let him in. I bit my lip as he lifted his ass in the air and removed his jeans. Was there anywhere he wasn’t hard? That question was answered as he smiled huge. Tom was struggling to remove his boots and pants at the same time. His beautiful soul was soft, the best part! FUCK...I was letting him inside my head. I was flooded with relief as he finally fumbled free and proudly smiled at me as he crawled back over and kissed me slowly. Passionately. I broke the kiss as he surprised attacked my clit and ran his knuckle through my silky folds. With a quickness he slipped two fingers inside. My hips bucked wildly as he praised me “Your so sexy, so soft and perfect” taking me higher “Fuck your so wet for me Brooke baby” taking me higher

“Say my name beautiful Brooklyn, it sounds so fucking hot from your lips” he begged as my walls gripped his fingers. I pulled his hair as begging him to fuck me faster. He did just that.

I lost my mind as he watched me cum hard “Tom. Oh Tom. Oh Tom” was all I could scream out as I soaked the bed under me. I covered my eyes with my arm as he laid next to me and traced the outer skin of my breasts down to my wide hips and back up. He moved my arm and I opened my eyes finding his in the dark. He was a mess, a mix of lust, longing and sweetness.

He was working my brain and body. Time to switch it into gear before we lost control.

 I rolled on top of him and straddled his abs making the choice if I wanted to be fucked or sucked. His pretty mouth hung open as I reached behind me and gripped his cock feeling his precum and swirling it around his crown. I wanted to be fucked, better yet I wanted to fuck him.

I slid my body lower and gilded my dripping pussy over his ready cock. His eyes watched as my heated sex rubbed back and forth over his bare cock. Yeah, he was ready for me too.

“Tom, where's the condom” I moaned as he cupped my ass lifting me up a little. He paused as he realized he wasn’t wearing it yet. Instead of letting this moment go I went for option two.

I moved quickly to hover over his beautiful face. The diva in me was going to make him pay for forgetting it in his pants. He pulled my hips down and I covered his mouth with my hand stopping him until he understood. He nudged my aching clit with his nose and looked up at me.

“Can you swim Tom?” I smirked knowing he would do anything to make my body feel good.

“Yes Brooklyn, please let me show you” he mumbled kissing my thighs. I held tight to the head board so I could adjust my pussy to my liking on his face. Time to ride him like my Kawasaki.

I lowered myself onto his hot breath and he greeted me with a full slow lick of his wide flat tongue. I let out a gasp as he did it again and again. “Yes, just like that Tom, slow and steady”

He moaned in agreement and tiled his chin up as he gripped my ass making it spread just like my pussy. The thought of him in both places made my head spin. I rocked my hips as he sucked and fucked my sex with his mouth. I quickly wanted to switch gears with his talented tongue so I pushed my hips back and straddled his left arm and part of his neck as I fisted his hair hard pulling his face into my ready kitty. “Faster Tom, I want to watch me cum in your mouth”

I struggled to not close my eyes as he picked up the pace. I didn’t have to move or guide him. I watched his sharp jaw move as he worked his sexy mouth up and down, in and out, round and round. I rubbed my clit that was so revved up it had its own heartbeat. He pushed my hand away and pinched it between his thumb and first finger and rolled it around. “Oh fuck Tom!” I screamed so loud I’m sure the entire track could hear me and I didn’t care! I held my long blonde hair out of my way as I bent over just enough to watch myself cum in his mouth. He held me in place as my body started to shake and grow weak at his skills. I cried out his name, letting myself submit to this ecstasy. When I was done he rolled me onto my back and left the bed.

 He returned with a glass of water for both of us. I smiled and gulped it down as I marveled at his fine ass walking over to his disregarded pants. He flipped through his wallet and pulled out the foil packet. He licked his lips that still tasted like me as I opened my legs for him. He shook his head slightly with a grin that told me Tom couldn’t believe he was actually here with me. I smiled back thinking of how down to earth this guy was, he was the famous one here! I took a ice cube out and traced it over my hot swollen folds. My kitty was going to hurt for awhile and I was thankful for that. This night would still linger after he was gone..I was grateful for that too.

“Shit shit shit” he said said in a higher pitch I hadn’t heard all night “No way, no fucking way”

I sat up watching him pause with the half open foil packet. He looked at in disbelief, then to me.

“It’s dry” he whined, he actually fucking whined! I started to laugh at it all as I took it from him. The foil packet had clearly been in his wallet for sometime and it was useless. I made a reckless choice based on lust, need and hunger for him. I tossed it to the floor and pushed myself to the edge of the bed where he stood. His throbbing cock looked painfully swollen and he looked loaded and ready. This was pure nitrous to my veins. He played with my hair soft and kissed my head. His cock was inches from my face. But I didn’t want him there. I looked up at him as I grabbed it tight, taking what I wanted. His hands were tangled in my hair so he came down with me as I laid back without warning. I gripped the tip of his cock tight as I pressed his bare cock against my silky sex and worked my hips up and down its length. He looked between my legs and gripped my hair painfully hard as I waited for him to make a choice. He struggled looking up at me and back to where his cock was getting drenched by wet pussy. I still gripped his head tight so he wouldn’t just plow into me without making a choice like I did. He released my hair and grabbed my face making me look at him, he knew how I worked already.

 “Brooklyn, please let me fuck you..I don’t ever do this..but I fucking need to feel your pussy”

I released my grip on him and circled his fat crown around my entrance. The second he was fully covered in my juices he thrusted hard into me making my back arch at the sudden sharp pain his big cock just gave me. I thought I seen stars for a second. He looked at me eyes wide!

“FUCK, way to jump-start me” I screamed stopping his second thrust. He looked confused.  

“You have a big dick Tom, no need to prove its power, show me you can control it” I moaned pulling him into a kiss. Poor guy looked like he was truly sorry. Did this man ever get laid? Shit, I had zero room to talk! He kept kissing me as he pumped in and out, in and out. He broke the kiss as he felt my walls open wider for him, wetter for him. YES, what a fast learner he was! He lifted my leg over his arm and hit my pussy faster before going deep..earning my praise.

“Yes Tom, fuck me just like that, your big dick feels so good inside me Tommy” I cried out. He groaned at the Tommy name I let slip out turning him into beast mode as he now pulled both legs around his arms and thrusted deep. At this angle he hit my spot making me light up like the green light on that dragway! “Cum on my dick Brooke, I can feel your ready baby, give it to me”

I let out a high pitch moan as he fucked me hard and steady. His eyes were watching his dick pound me as he circled my clit, waiting, wanting to see his reward. I kept my eyes on him as I released the wave I was holding back. His mouth flew open as his cock glistened with my silk and ran down my ass. I could feel his dick leap in excitement and I knew it would be his undoing, it's why I held onto it.

“Don’t cum in me Tom” I half warned, half begged for it. His glazed over eyes told me it might be too late.

“Shit, fuck...Brooklyn, I’m sorry” he gasped pulling out his pulsating dick and jerked himself hard to finish. I felt him dripping down my ass as I watched him pump himself faster. I sat up quick and pulled him into my mouth. He happily took the offer and released himself down my throat.

 He collapsed on my bed and pulled me into him. I kissed his chest and scratched his hot skin with feathered touches. He moaned his appreciation as his heart rate slowed. Tom tilted my chin to look at him and it was written all over his face, he was nice guy Tom. I felt the tug at my heart. THAT IS A NO NO. I closed my eyes and forced my tired body on top of him for distraction. He reached for my face and I moved his hands to my breast instead. He was smart. He had to know by now. I wanted connection, just not...not yet? FUCK..not this kind of connection. I opened my eyes and shot daggers at his sweet smile. It faded quick and that made me confused. I gave up hope for a second run and moved my body off of him. He quickly restrained my hips and pushed them down as he raised his strong thighs up. His hard on pressed against my ass letting me know I could have him at least one more time. It was me who smiled sweet now. He squeezed my ass, silently letting me know he wanted to give me whatever I needed from him. He nugged his even harder cock again, as I giggled at my emotions swirling in my head. I ran my hand through my hair and pulled it over my face to hid and regroup. It might be another two years before I let someone in, take this sweet mans offer idiot! Tom pushed my hair away and gripped my neck making my diva come back alive. Thank fuck for his smart move.

I held his hand there as I raised my body just enough to let Tom offer his dick to me. I sank slowly loving the way he filled me up. I rolled my hips in slow circles as my walls adjusted to him. The second I was ready he thrusted upwards and squeezed my throat hard.

“Your so beautiful Brooklyn” he moaned. I shook my head asking him to say something else. He moved his hands to my ass slapping it hard. My eyes flew open “Your so tight Brooke baby, it fits my big dick perfectly” he hissed watching my response. I tossed my head back and rode Tom faster. Our hips in perfect sync. I was going to explode already, he knew it too.

“Tommy no no..not yet” I begged knowing this was it for me. I stopped his thrusts and took a few gasps of air as I slammed on the breaks of my orgasm. I moved my hand behind me and guided his hand to rub his finger through the wetness that soaked my ass. He took instantly to my need and his own. I steadied myself on his chest as he slowly made circles around and in my ass.

“Wow, I so want to fuck you here Brooke” he moaned pushing deeper, testing, loving that it made me wetter as I rubbed my soaked pussy on his head. He had me at his mercy, but didn’t know it. Maybe he needed a hint. I looked him in his waiting eyes and they tore at my walls he kept knocking over. I blocked him out one last time, giving him a choice on how it ended.

“Tommy, fuck me anywhere you want to fill me up the most” I screamed in pleasure as he thrusted his cock into my pussy and kept his finger in my ass. I dug my nails in his chest as I fucked him harder like my life depended on it. “Tommy you make me feel so good, so fucking good” I cried out as I soaked him and the bed. He fucked me faster making the silk splash from my pussy. I grew exhausted as I laid my body on his, unable to stay upright to let him finish.

“I’m sorry Tommy” I panted and just about went into shock at my words. He caught it and kissed me as he rolled me onto my back. He pumped slow and kept kissing me until I was over my moment of weakness.        

“Tell me you meant it” he moaned as he sped up his rhythm. I didn’t understand until he pulled out stopping himself this time “Tell me I can fill you up Brooke baby, please say it again”

He got on his knees and pulled me into his arms as he pressed his weight into each.fucking.stroke. My eyes rolled into my head as I unexpectedly came again on his cock.

“Yes Tommy, cum inside me, please cum inside me Tom” I whimpered holding his face as he fucked me slow yet hard. He kissed my fingers as I traced his lips. I was wasted off of Tom fucking Holland. He held my eyes as his breathing picked up along with his powerful thrust.

“I’m going to cum inside you Brooklyn” he moaned “So deep inside of you Brooke baby, are you ready?” he asked before kissing me one more time. I held him close as he buried his face in my sweaty neck and pushed deeper into me before he went still inside. I bit his neck as he jumped inside me and moaned my name so blissfully he only pumped to emptied himself as he filled me up. I was on cloud nine with this man. He had turned me inside out. He stayed inside me as he kissed the side of my face. When he laid beside me I couldn’t look at him. He couldn’t see me like this, I was pure, raw and emotional. He reached for me and I had to get away. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I closed the door and rested against it, barely holding it together.  

“I trust you can see yourself out? I have to get some sleep” I choked out as he got off the bed and came to the door. I backed away like he could still touch me. I covered my quivering lip.

“Are you okay?” Tom asked worried. I didn’t answer..I fucking couldn’t. The tears fell quietly.

“I...um, I’ll see you around hopefully before I leave tomorrow.” I could hear him getting dressed.

“Brooklyn, I really hope your okay, I left my number by your phone, in case...in case you need to talk, I’m sorry..I don’t do these, this..kind of goodbye so good, I’m gonna go..okay? You really are a beautiful person Brooke, thank you for sharing this night with me”

I turned on the shower as soon as I heard the door shut. I cried out of my shattered feelings and scrubbed my skin until it was raw. He deserved better than anything I just gave him. It was sex.

“Just sex” I laughed at myself as I dried off . A basic human need, especially after two years. I plugged my phone to the charger and crumbled up his number and threw it across the room.

 I woke up to the annoying alarm of my emergency back up alarm going off as I slept passed the first few alarms. A quick one eyed look confirmed it was my uncle wondering where I was.

I hit answer and braced for his loud smoker voice. Years on the track made him hard hearing so he thought he also had to talk loud so everyone else could hear him. “NOS where are you? We got these kids here waiting on your grand entrance, move your ass!” he laughed and hung up knowing I was on my way. I rushed to get dressed and brushed my teeth even quicker. I spit it out and grabbed my lip gloss. I froze as I noticed a hickey on my neck, FUCK ME! I made a stupid mistake! It’ll never happen again! I keep telling myself this as I pull out the second love of my life, my Suzuki Hayabusa! This should have me right in no time! 2.6 seconds to be exact as I pushed her hard coming in the opposite side of where they all stood. My hair was tucked in tight under my helmet, to make sure it wouldn’t show. I primed my purple hickey and it was invisible. I didn’t plan on getting close enough to Tom for him to notice me anyways. I was supposed to be the demonstrator as my uncle and brother gave out the instructions. It was how this always worked, my uncle was stuck in the old days were men learned best from men. It was why he called me NOS as I started to show I had bigger balls on the bikes than his own son and my brother. I also had a trophy case bigger than anyone else. But that was the past. I left that behind two years ago too.

 Taking in the early morning sun, I did a few laps around our racing track as they went over the basics. I had to push Tom outta my head and this bike gave me the adrenaline rush I needed to do just that. I waited until I was waved at to come closer.  I felt the knot in my stomach as Tom straddled his new bike The Ducati V4. My brother Kyle rubbed on the newest edition to Tom's bike..the initials B.B.! By the time Tom left today, Kyle would have it on his bike

permanently for him. I felt the heat rush to my face, not the embarrassing kind, the pissed off kind! They both looked up as I brought the bike to a halt. I refused to look at Tom. Kyle slapped Tom on the back as he instructed him to follow me and do exactly as I did. I rolled my eyes under the protection of my tinted mask as Kyle helped his new buddy out with putting his helmet on without looking like a newbie. “Wow, nice hickey you got there Tom!” Harrison laughed leaning over to poke at it and almost dropped his bike earning a laugh from everyone, even me.   

Tom must have heard me because his head shot right up to my face. I inched my bike forward, removing him from my view. Kyle unknowingly added fuel to my hell laughing as he warned  

“Be careful bud, these crotch rocket riders can be just as crazy as the ones Spiderman gets”

I revved up my bike blocking out any response he might of had. I squeezed my eyes shut as tears pricked at the corners. My uncle rested his big hand on mine and I stopped acting out.

“You okay NOS?” he smiled at me warming my heart. I shook my head yes and he patted my shoulder “Just checking lazy bones, your never late little Brooke, I was worried kid” he winked as he lined up Tom to my right and Harrison next to him. I could feel Tom shoot me a look as heard my name. My uncle stood in front of us and introduced me as who I was to them.

“This is Nitrous, aka NOS, the best rider in the business, truthful fact, trophy case to prove it! Follow the way NOS moves on this track and you can leave here with the promises you boys made to your mothers, do well enough perhaps NOS will show you skills for the dragway!”

 The next hour flew by. Both guys were actually quick learners and that allowed me to stay silent and just provide an example of each lesson spoken verbally. As the sun started to hang high so did the temperature. By 11:00am we were done. I jetted off right away. Most of the time I stuck around and introduced myself or offered more lessons. I wasn’t the asshole bitch I was portraying to protect myself. As tired as I was from lack of sleep and emotional stress I stayed on my bike well past the time I knew Tom and his crew would be gone. I wanted to be extra sure. I scooped out both tracks before I returned back to my trailer. I got dressed in my tank top and boy shorts and laid on my bed for a quick nap before our Saturday night events required my attention. I was just nodding off when I heard a knock at my door. I groaned at the intrusion as they knocked again. I opened the door and balled my fist as his frame came up the steps and stood in my doorway. The summer heat poured in with the heated expressions he displayed.   

“You need to fucking leave Tom, if anyone sees you here you’ll get your ass beat, trust me”

He turned and closed the door coming close to me until he backed me up against the counter I was spread eagle for him not even 24 hours ago. My aching kitty winced at the memory.  

“If thats so true, then I’m sure you wouldn’t have lured me inside that club your family was in last night Brooklyn..or is it NOS?” he reached for me and I froze. Why was I so mad at him, at me? “Why did you come back here Tom? What more can I do for ya Spiderman? Kyles words are true, land missile groupies are a plenty and crazy. Go find one of them, I’m sure if you stick around tonight you’ll find a Spiderman crotch lover and you can fuck her!” I yelled as I started to shake. He stood there taking my words of abuse and I hated myself even more. He lifted my eyes to his and I shook my head as his were filled with tears too. “I’m sorry Tom, I’m a mess”

“Just let me hold you” he whispered “Nothing more, I don’t want anything else, I promise”

I let him put my arms around his neck as he lifted me in his. I closed my eyes as he carried me to my bed. He held me close and wrapped his limbs around me. We were asleep in moments.

Thank you for reading my extra long one shot! I don’t know if I want to end it here but for now, it will do.This has been my favorite story to write, tons of fun! 

If you like what you see let me know with a like and a reblog! Until next time, happy reading and hugz!       

[zorovevo]

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(For the record, I don't usually trade biotech's because of all these wild card factors)Putting it all TogetherRelative sizing is one of the toughest things to get right as an investor or trader. If you invest for a long enough time. you're bound to get it wrong on some positions. The key is trying to get a deeper understanding of the risk associated with the position, what option factors influence (time, volatility, stock price movement) it and how. For me, I like to play the number's game and let the probabilities work out. by sizing my positions with the max risk already set in place. However, I understand that some of you have a little bit more risk tolerance than me. so I wanted to show you what else to consider when taking on more risk by sizing up. Obviously experience is the best teacher.

Are there any event or headline risks?Like an earnings announcement, conference call, analyst day, economic data release, Federal Reserve or other central bank meetings in the coming future, legal verdicts coming out, possible M&A or a reaction to earnings etc. In this example, the UVXY ETF is associated with fear in the marketplace. The event or headline risk would be macroeconomic as well as geopolitical. Are there any key technical levels?Some questions to ask yourself: Is a key moving average that is broken, support or resistance levels violated, a spike below or above the VWAP or whatever technical indicator you're looking at. Now, I know some option investors who don't use price charts or technical analysis; some are very successful. However, even if you don't.

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those options that I bought back ended up closing deep ITM. Again, near-term options have the potential from being deep OTM to deep ITM very quickly (and vice-versa). Position sizing is critical for near term options. it doesn't matter if you're buying or selling premium. In many cases, if I do buy premium on an option expiring in a short time frame. I'll make it a binary trade. Basically the premium spent on the position is what I'm willing to lose.

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you might not have enough capital to adjust the position if it starts moving south. I just wanted to mention my approach and what has worked for me. however, I understand that some investors like to use more leverage on their trades. For that reason, I'll explain to you what else you need to take into consideration if you trade bigger than what you're willing to lose. So where did our option investor go wrong?First, they were trading options that were expiring in a little bit over a week. By selling 20 call spreads right off the bat, they didn't give themselves a whole lot of margin for error. These short call spreads were still OTM, meaning the time decay and option volatility would really get sucked out of the option premium. if UVXY prices declined or even traded flat for a couple of days. By fully sizing up, you leave yourself no margin for error. In fact, if they still believed in the trade they would of have probably wanted to sell more call spreads at those strike prices or even further out for higher premiums. However, they were forced to get defensive because they were sized up incorrectly. (Note: The following Monday, UVXY traded at $31. 50. down 9%. the value of the call spread was $0. 47. On Tuesday, it rebounded to $35. 93. the value of the call spread was back to around $1. 00.

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It was even an issue for me when I started trading. I would have a few stocks on my watchlist that I wanted to get into, but knew it wasn't the right time. And then when I'm not looking the stock takes off. On a few occasions, I have actually chased stocks that eventually turned against me. These types of situations hurt in 2 ways: 1) dents your ego and 2) dents your portfolio balance. If you have the same issues, don't fret. Luckily, it's been well documented that more often than not, solid annual portfolio performance is often caused by having a strong exit plan. 8. Document and Learn From Your Previous TradesEvery trade is a learning experience. Don't focus solely on losing trades, but also look at your winners. There is always something you can learn. For losing trades, look into why the trade lost or possible ways you could have prevented it from happening. Analyze your entry, the adjustments you made, the exit, and the overall market behavior. For winning trades, look into why the trade won and possible ways you could have even profited more. Analyze your entry, the adjustments you made, the exit, and the overall market behavior. If you notice, it's the same analysis for both types of trades.

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[insarations]

these are actually hella fucking cute y’all

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? oh yes :) but gotta  get me some hot chocolate or blanket

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually just a scrap of paper or whatevers close

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? i put soy milk and sugar in my coffee....just sugar in tea

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? ya :/ well at least if my mouth is open...I have terrible teeth

6: do you keep plants? no

7: do you name your plants? noo lol

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? painting/drawing/crafting..sometimes writing or poetry

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? very much

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? usually side, sometimes back

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? too many to name

12: what's your favorite planet? hmm...never thought about it strangely. saturn for looks. but mars cause idk..it holds the most possibility

13: what's something that made you smile today? my cats

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? uhhh....idk

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! A day on Venus is actually longer than a year on Venus... wrap your head around that ;)

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? ooooh all of them lol but probably lasagna... ooh or alfredo

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? just darker...dark brown or black

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up when i made us play hide n seek in a hotel room and i hid behind a curtain. or when i peed on my friends foot cause she got stung by a jellyfish XD

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I used to :/ I dont' really anymore..probably should

20: what's your favorite eye color? um idk really it depends on the person..I usually like brown or blue. not that green isn't nice but again depends on the person lol

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. ugh I really don't use bags or purses or anything like that much. currently my black vans drawstring

22: are you a morning person? nah, never will be. i'm used to getting up early but still hate it

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? SLEEP

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? yes..a few people

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? umm i dont think ive broken into anywhere

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i got rid of all my own shoes but the ones ive had a while i wear the most are my black slipon vans

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint

28: sunrise or sunset? sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? only she could do it, cant even explain lol

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? more than a few times

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I LOVE SOCKS lol absolutely not all white socks. I like fun patterned socks..especially my vans no shows... sometimes sleep with them on

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. oh gosh dont let me start

33: what's your fave pastry? uggghh too many. recently something amazing I tried... lobster tails from carlos bakery. but really..any pastry lol

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? lots of them. the main one I can think of is a small little grungy horse named Wickee lol...got him at this amusement park called Wickee Watchee... idk where he is atm :/

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? ooooooh yesssss...from time to time

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? 21 pilots

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I mean I like it clean.... but it's messy most the time anyways lol

38: tell us about your pet peeves! ugh so many. the #1 thing probably is when I'm walking like in a store and someone just stops right in front of me..like i'm tryna get somewhere please move haha but otherwise I just had selfish spoiled people and attitudes and people who think they're better than everyone else

39: what color do you wear the most? black and gray

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? um honestly I don't have any jewelry besides my liprings. There is this necklace that was my grandmas but I don't really wear it anymore

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? It's called Pawn by Robin Roseau

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Starbucks. it's amazing. it's life. that is all.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? this girl

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? um hmm on and off lately and I think i'm getting there again...but probably really completely like...last spring

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? as much and often as I can

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. oh you don't want me to do that

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? donald trump. oh food. hahahahah omg. i thought it said thing. hahahaha. i cant even answer now.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? roaches. yes still same. I HATE THEM

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? eh neither like or dislike..rarely ever buy cds never records. But I did recently buy the Gwen Stefani Christmas album ;)

50: what's an odd thing you collect? nothing really odd. oh well.... unique boxes. I guess thats strange lol

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? so many songs.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? uh hmm.. probably the spongebob mocking one lol

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? honestly..dont kill me...no

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? myself XD

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? gotten out of the car and walked a mile home XD

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? just being genuine and truthful and sweet and trying to be funny even if you're not really

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? BEAUTIFUL. I didnt actually listen but I did in my head. BEAUTIFUL SONG

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? uhhhh..... dont really have a group of friends XD

59: what's your favorite myth? hmm too much thinking

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? depends, most the time...the Footprints poem

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? given um...idk I used to get a buncha stuff from the dollar store for my fam every year lol received? a rock from my ex bf -_-

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nah not really a juice person

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? yes organized

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? black

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? yesss....

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? uhhh eh..not for me

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? either calm or sad or sleepy or a combo

68: what's winter like where you live? it's florida. not usually cold. this week is as cold as it gets...low is like 38 but usually it doesnt even get there

69: what are your favorite board games? clue, monopoly is alright too

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? not huge on tea but I like mint, or something fruity like berry or lemon or peach

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? with certain things

73: what are some of your worst habits? leaving drinks or bottles half finished out or like letting my room get messy

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. funny. sarcastic. sometimes an asshole. good time. gorgeous. fun.

75: tell us about your pets! They're two cats, sister, Lamb and Rue...they're 2 and 1/2 years old..and sweet and mischevious and fluffy and soft and cuteeee  and I love them more than anything

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? not really

77: pink or yellow lemonade? dont really like lemonade much but they dont make much a difference to me

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? fanclub :)

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? wrote a song for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white..nah I didnt choose

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. honestly my minds going black lol im tired

82: are/were you good in school? yes for the most part..had my moments but overall good

83: what's some of your favorite album art? so many I could name. coldplays is always really colorful and abstracty. and imagine dragons.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? already have two. want a lot more..too much to name and i dont even know still what all i want

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? nah

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YAS. many. but first came to mind, Skillets Rise

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Silver Linings Playbook. Paper Towns. Shrek. All the disney movies. Avatar. Wizard of Oz. many more

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? all of them haha... pop art, impressionism, renaissance..just all of it all special in they're own way

89: are you close to your parents? eh idk i cant explain..neither close nor distant. like we live together and talk alot but not really the close relationship as some do..im very different from them

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Knoxville. the city I went to college in... interesting place with lots to do..best of both worlds. beautiful mountains and hills and views. but also the downtown areas are cool..lots of fun stuff

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? going to savannah ga for my bday. not sure where else yet but i'm sure there will be other places. i'd really like to go to phoenix..boston..new orleans..california..portland ugh so many places

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? CHEESE AF

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just up in a bun which is boring but its too messy and long to put up with lol

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my dad

95: what are your plans for this weekend? nothing really so far. probably will go to lunch or something with my friend

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? myer briggs- INFJ (advocate) sign- aquarius house- ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? legitimately...like 3 years ago...hated it...too much walking and pain XD

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. ugh sooooooooooo many. pretty much any song by skillet or gwen stefani/no doubt recently..dusk till dawn by sia, new rules by dua lipa... also songs by ben howard..lots of indie stuff

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 into the future... i've already lived my past, and i've made a lot of progress...wanna jump to even more progress hopefully

[sdog1blog]

Susan

Danny had left a message with my roommate that he had the guitar and would have it at the shop. The guitar, a Gibson J45 was a model that I'd been chasing, so I was interested, that he believed it was from the 1940's piqued my interest.

Susan had spent the night with me and I asked if she wanted to join me, warning her that Danny worked in a porn shop. She shrugged indicating that was not a big deal, but she wanted to stop at the house she was crashing at to shower and change clothes. So off we went.

I waited in the van, while Susan took care of her hygiene. This was Minneapolis in July of 1980 and the house was a crash pad for left over hippies and misfits that were what was left of the 60's counterculture. I preferred to keep my distance.

Waiting, gave me a chance to ruminate on Susan. We had met a month before, she had just landed in town or maybe it was returned to town after having lived in California for a couple years. She had only been here a few days when we met and I'll admit I was smitten. She may have been the only woman who sent a shudder through my body when I touched her. I had it bad, but there was something about her that bothered me.

To start with, she was pretty vague about where she was from, saying only it was New Jersey and Delaware, why she originally came to Minneapolis and what she did in California. When I say vague, I mean at times she was even evasive.

I looked up to see Susan coming down the walk, I licked my lips in appreciation. She had fixed her reddish-blond hair in the usual pixie bob, a colorful halter top over cutoff jeans that showed just an inch of her ass cheeks all supported by those lovely, long legs on platform sandals. She'd give the regulars at the porn shop an image to masturbate to in the video booths. And looking back, I bet she knew it.

The porn shop Danny worked at was at 5th and Hennepin on the street level of the Lumber Exchange building, a Victorian era survivor. I don't remember who owned the porn shop, it was probably Ferris Alexander, who owned several similar business in the Twin Cities. It was across the street from a couple of the cities oldest gay bars, so the clientele tended to be gay, often seeking anonymous sex.

Before leaving my house, I called my local Gibson guitar expert, who gave me information on what to look for on vintage J45's and importantly, what would be the rough range for the serial numbers. Danny's guitar played well and sounded great, but it wasn't vintage, it was probably 10 years old. It was beat up, lots of pick scratches and the odd ding in the wood, but no real damage, just a well used instrument.

Given that Danny was the seller, it didn't surprise me that the goods, didn't fit the description. Danny reminded me of a friend of my father’s, Chuck. Chuck like Danny were perpetrators of the small con, they never lied, but they'd lead you down a path and like Chuck, Danny always had something interesting to sell.

When we were kids, if one of us wanted something, a TV, a stereo or as teens, something for our cars, Dad would say, he'd talk to Chuck. Chuck being one of those guys who sold merchandise out the trunk of his car, the car always being a several years old Cadillac. The stuff was stolen of course, but you didn't ask questions. Once when I was fresh mouthed teen, my mother told dad that she needed a new refrigerator, he offered his Chuck line, to which I snarkly replied, “Yeah he probably got one in his trunk”. The old man had been drinking and in a bad mood, so it shouldn't have been a surprise when he cuffed me with the back of his hand across my face, the phony ruby ring he wore, opening a crescent shape gash in my cheek. A scar that a surprising number of girls have found sexy. Go figure.

Both Danny and I are from north of Boston and when we met, we both engaged in the game of what city. I guessed that he was from Medford or Malden so I asked him to say Medford, it came out as Mefford, I smiled. It took him a bit longer to figure me out as I has spent the years since high school suppressing my accent. But given a few beers the dese, dems and doses of mill city Merrimack Valley came pouring out. Yeah, Lawrence, but more specifically identifying South Lawrence in a futile attempt to distinguish my origins from the rest of that decrepit place. But Danny could see through that.

While I wandered to Minneapolis after college in search of a fertile music scene away from my family, Danny came earlier when his mother remarried and moved the family to her husband's home in Worthington. To get to Worthington, you go out to Bum F@ck Egypt and take a right. Danny was 15 then and bolted to the Twin Cities right after high school.

Danny's reaction to Susan coming through the door was predictable, he straightened up, wiped the bread crumbs from his chin, brushed off his clothes and ran his fingers through his hair, all in an attempt for him to look presentable. While I looked over the guitar he flirted with Susan, playing Johnny the Dunce and asking her lots of questions, often repeating the same ones, all punctuated with him saying, "we've met before, haven't we" and "where do I know you from?"

After playing the guitar for about 15 minutes, I told Danny, that it was a nice instrument, but I needed to think about it. But I had already decided not to get it.

Out on the sidewalk, I commented to Susan, that it seemed that she and Danny had hit off. She allowed he was kind of cute and a pest. That made me laugh and I followed up with, "Well do you know him from somewhere?" Her denial wasn't completely convincing, just before the no was to leave her lips, her eyes, that were meeting mine, darted away.

Danny called a day or so later, he had another buyer, but wanted give me last dibs, i.e., he wanted to see if I would pay more. Before we hung up, he started, "Ya know, but the way. That chick, the one you were with." "Susan?" I interjected. "Ya her" he replied, "I know'd, I know'd her from some place." I didn't respond and let him continue. "After youse left, I browsed through a few magazines and there she was in the centerfold of Ass Magic, taking a big old dick up the shit pipe." "How can you be sure that the girl in magazine was her?" I asked. He came back with "Oh it's her. I bet she has a small tatoo, maybe a star, about the size of a quarter near her pussy, just to left of her pubes. She also likes suckin cock."

Susan did have a small tattoo on her pelvis, though it was the symbol for anarchy not a star. She did like giving blowjobs, when we first slept together she played with the tip of my cock with her tongue occasionally, sliding down my dick. For a moment she stopped and looked at me mischievously and said, "I have no gag reflex," then consumed me. She swallowed the jizz as well. But anal, no, every time I tried the backdoor, she'd wave me off.

I filed Danny's report in my mind along with her surprise announcement a couple of weeks earlier that she was going to take a few shifts at Augie's to supplement the secretarial work she took from a temp agency. There was more to my lovely friend than met the eye.

In those days I made my living as a musical Paladin, Have Guitar, Will Travel so to speak. Plus banjo, fiddle, bass, mandolin, piano, pretty much if it had strings, I played it. Rock, jazz, blues, country, bluegrass, it didn't matter. What was the progression, which key and hum me a few bars for the melody and I was ready.

Most players I knew formed a band and headed out on the road. Been there, done that and hated it. So I eked out a living sitting in with bands who were missing a player, some solo acoustic work on the folk circuit and serving as a band member for faded rock and country acts who no longer could afford to take a group on the road. Add to that, a bit of session work, mostly commercial work tied to TV and radio advertising and I made a living. After a while I stopped worrying about where the next dollar would come from and just knew that it would come. I was also pretty smug that I'd manage to scrape together enough money to put a down payment on a little house on the wrong side of the tracks in So. Minneapolis, something my friends couldn't dream about.

The following Tuesday, I sat in with a blues band at the Cabooze. Kate, who headlined the band was touted in the local music press as someone who should be the next Janis Joplin. It, if, she only got a chance. Well there were reasons Kate wouldn't go pass being a regional name, but it was impolite to discuss them. Anyway that week she was in tough position as she was missing 2 band members and had firm gigs in the next fourteen days.

Tommy, her lead guitarist, had turned himself into detox and would be spending the next two or three weeks at Hazelden, trying to get straight. Tom was a good guy and while it took about five or so attempts, he finally conquered his demons and was sober for nearly twenty years before he was killed riding home from work on his bicycle by a drunk driver. Cal, her drummer was sitting in the county jail unable to make bail after being arraigned for raping a fifteen year old, he went away for a long time. For me, I had eight paydays coming and a girlfriend with whom I was love struck. Life was good.

Before the show, a friend, Kevin, came by to show me a guitar he just bought, it was the J45 and it was of 1940's vintage he raved. Kev was a bit naive, I chose not to break his bubble. Later when Danny showed up, I confronted him about the lie and he shrugged saying, "people will believe what they want to believe," looked hard at me and walked away.

We started at 9, the crowd was small, but by the end of the set, respectable for a Tuesday and there was energy in the house, Kate could rock. At sets end, the substitute drummer and I headed for the bar, while the rest of the band went off chasing white lines.

Before my beer arrived, Susan came out of the crowd followed by a friend, who's name I didn't catch. I knew she wouldn't be staying as this was a dancing night and I'd pick her up at close. I and every other guy watched her leave, it was those legs and the tight, slut length mini dress, we were entranced. After they left, a guy who drives a cab, mentioned that the other woman looked an awful lot like a hooker that he'd driven around the previous week.

Augie's is also on 5th and Hennepin, across from the Lumber exchange building. Hennepin was a one-way then, heading toward the river with lane for buses and cabs going in the other direction

I came down 5th and was caught at the light. She was waiting in front of the club, the Augie's bouncers standing out front chatting with the bouncers from the Brass Rail. She saw me flash the headlights and walked the 50 or so feet to the corner. She got in, we kissed and I asked her where she wanted to go. "I'm hungry," was her response. "Mama's OK," I asked and she nodded affirmatively.

Breakfast at Mama's was on Riverside, just off Cedar on the West Bank. It opened at midnight, on the weekends, after the bars closed, the line would stretch around the building, But on a Wednesday morning getting a table was easy.

We got home around 2:30 and she went right to bed and by the time I went to join her, she was sleeping like a baby. "So much for a bit of nooky," I thought. Not really tired, I poured a glass of brandy, rolled a joint and went out on the porch. Being alone, in the dark started me thinking, about her of course. What I knew and the new info, that she worked in porn. Also there were other photo shoots and movies in which she appeared, and the possible hooker friend. That last snippet of information was making me paranoid. The coming weekend, I'd be playing with Kate's band in the far northwest suburbs, while Susan would be dancing at Augie's on Thursday and Friday, and then on Saturday working a private party with the suspected hooker.

A couple of years earlier, I'd sworn off stripper girlfriends due to the drama they were bringing into my life. Probably because I had a defective selection procedure, the dancers I dated were emotional toxic waste dumps. Susan wasn't that, but I suspected something that would have been worse, that she was emotionally hardened.

The previous week, I was to meet her at the end of her shift at Augie's after I finished playing a recording session at a nearby studio. The session had gone sideways, when one member of the duo what we were backing showed up too stoned to work. So I went by the club a couple of hours early.

Augie's opened in the mid 40's as a caberet and night club, at some point strippers were added, then the live music faded away and the strippers were what was left. In the early 80's the interior seemed quite like it must have been in the dives hey day. As you came in to the right, was the bar and in the back corner a stage that connected to the back bar and the main bar allowing the dancers to walk up the bar if they chose. In the center, there were tables, but it was once a dance floor and to the left small tables were arranged on risers, each row a bit higher than the one in front.

I entered as she was finishing her stage set, collecting her money and disappearing into the dressing room. The bar stool, closest the street was empty, so I took it. She came out a few minutes later to work the room, having changed to a sheer nightie and a g-string.

She didn't notice me as I watched her work the room. This was in the days before private rooms for lap dances. Working the room consisted of a few things, table dances, company, sitting with a guy and letting him paw you and convincing the mark to buy a $3 bottle of champagne for $30, for which the dancer received half.

She had told me she had never danced before and I'd believed her. But watching her work that night I began to doubt her. She was simply, to efficient and cold. While most of the girls would look away when groped, Susan could look them straight in the eye and smile as some loser felt her up. She sold a lot of champagne.

I was convincing myself that I should enjoy the ride while it lasted but not to become to invested.

Epilogue

A couple of months later, Susan announced she was going back to LA for a while, but would be back. She was gone about a year, when I got a call from her asking if I could pick her up at the airport and could she stay with me till she found a place of her own.

I'd very recently had begun dating a woman, a nice stable person with a normal professional day job. I asked her if she minded, I won’t say she didn’t but didn’t make a scene. We'd eventually marry and she still puts up with me.

Susan stayed with me for about a week and she was clear she had no interest in rekindling our romance. She had set her sights on marrying a doctor and got a secretarial job at a local hospital to facilitate it. She was successful, a nice guy but it lasted only a few years. After that she began meowing and scratching at my door again.

Mostly, but not entirely could I resist her and then she went off and found another husband, who either ignored her behavior or was willfully blind. I guess they're still together.  Susan drifted in and out of my life for about 20 years till we had another falling out and I decided to say good riddance.

Danny married one of the girls who worked the peep show, moved to the burbs and had a couple of kids. He left the porn shop and took a job selling cars. He was good at it and eventually opened a used car lot of his own. But larceny and Danny ran in tandem and he was busted for title washing and dealing in stolen cars.

While on Covid-19 lock down, I was browsing a vintage porno tube and low and behold came across an orgy scene that featured her. There was no credit, but using the name of the star(s) I found several more. It seemed her specialty was blowjobs, anal and gang bangs. Never could find a stage name, but she showed up in a few dozen clips. Her memory triggered the urge to write this down.

[colossalgamingnews]

EA, DICE, and Battlefront 2′s microtransaction mess.

EA and DICE did it this time. And by “it,” I don’t mean tried to screw gamers out of their hard-earned money. I mean that they stumbled into a perfect storm of microtransactions, fan outrage, and the worst timing humanly possible, to mire their newest game, Star Wars Battlefront 2, square in the crosshairs of thousands of enraged gamers.

Last night, less than twelve hours before the game launched, Battlefront 2’s devs announced that they were going to deactivate the game’s microtransactions until they could figure out how to implement the system without giving an advantage to players willing to shell out hundreds of dollars on top of what they paid for the game itself. This was a smart move by DICE, the game’s developer, but it came after more than a week of internet rage that culminated in Reddit’s most down-voted comment of all time, and Battlefront sitting at a stunning .9/10 on metacritic. Yes, you read that right. Point nine out of ten.

Let’s go back a bit and examine how all of this happened, step by step.

A few weeks ago, Battlefront 2 launched an open beta to test their multiplayer servers and generate hype for the game’s launch. Condemnation started almost immediately, when players noticed that spending IRL money on the game’s loot crates would provide them with a significant advantage. If you were willing to pay, you would have access to better items and skills without grinding for them, raising the specter of the much feared “pay2win” gaming boogeyman.

DICE responded to the controversy, saying that they were taking the comments to heart, and would change the mechanics before the game launched.

Well, the game came out in a limited fashion about a week ago, and the internet decided that DICE didn’t do enough. Angry tweets and Reddit posts were made. Refunds were demanded. Angry reviews flooded websites. In short, chaos ensued.

DICE announced that they were cutting the amounts required to unlock the playable heroes in multiplayer, but it wasn’t enough. They tried to do an AMA on Reddit, but their comments were buried. Finally, they announced that they were suspending the microtransactions until they could figure out a way to keep them from impacting gameplay.

That brings us to today. Battlefront 2 is officially out, with no microtransactions, at least for the moment.

So that’s the brief, dirty history of the Battlefront 2 controversy. But why did it get so bad? Mass Effect: Andromeda had a similar loot box system for its multi-player. So have a number of games. Hell, not a week and a half ago, there were articles condemning Activision for the loot boxes in CoD: WWII. (I’m not going to get too far into it here, but jeez, Activision, having loot boxes appear in-game as airdrops in the social space on Normandy Beach? That’s pretty dumb.) Overwatch has had loot boxes since it came out. Even the new Assassin’s Creed game has loot boxes. So why was Battlefront 2 the butt of such outrage?

Well, like I said at the beginning of this article, EA and DICE couldn’t have created a worse situation to drop themselves into if they tried, and they charged into this one at full steam.

EA games have always pushed the edges of acceptability when it comes to downloadable content. Mass Effect 2 had a code in the box that gave players access to a suite of free DLC. That may sound nice, until you realize that it meant that people who bought a used copy of the game had to pay $15 for that “free” content. They’ve experimented in other ways too, tinkering with loot boxes and always-on DRM that ended up punishing legitimate players and rewards those who pirated the game.

Because of these issues among many others, EA earned the ignominious award of “Worst Company in America” in 2012. Ouch.

Since then, EA has gone from one dumpster fire to another, dealing with controversy after controversy. If there has been a flaw with a game published by EA, almost all of the blame has been placed squarely on EA’s shoulders, not on the shoulders of the people who actually made the game.

Strike 1 for Battlefront 2.

Star Wars may be the most beloved franchise in the world, spawning countless books, comics, games, fan groups, and more. Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker may be the two most iconic characters of the 20th century, and players of Battlefront 2 couldn’t access them from the start. In the view of fans, EA and DICE messed with their Star Wars.

Strike 2.

And then there’s that boogeyman I mentioned earlier. Consumer concerns over pay2win have been growing for years, with many a slippery slope argument being thrown around (even once by me at, I’ll admit). There are countless free games on the internet and on mobile devices that fall squarely into that category. The basic mechanic is this: you can build a base or train an army or move a gem, but it takes real world time. Players can spend money in a game’s store to avoid the wait. Players can have an unlimited amount of fun for free, but running into someone who has dropped several thousand dollars into the game will end in a beating, and a bad one at that.

These games are free, so the transactions are easily defensible. There is no initial outlay of money, so the devs are justified in adding microtransactions, if only to pay their wages. In more traditional gaming arenas, though, these mechanics are met with a violent knee-jerk reaction each time they crop up. After all, each player has already had to pay $60, the argument goes. Why do the developers need to squeeze even more money out of players for content that is already in the game?

And there, my friend, is strike 3. For those of you who aren’t up on baseball, that’s all she wrote for Battlefront 2.

Justified or not, Battlefront 2 is going to be defined by this controversy. It’s entirely possible that EA will change their habit of allowing people who pre-order to play early because of this, depending on whether or not the games sales reflect the internet’s outrage. They may add cosmetic items, then add the loot boxes back in with just those cosmetic items for sale. They may also just wait a few months until the focus is off of Battlefront 2, then quietly reintroduce microtransactions. Whatever they do, though, for now the focus of the gaming world is solely on Battlefront 2.

For the record, I would like to say that I think Battlefront 2 did cross a line. However, there has been content similar to this in a number of different games. In my mind, the difference is that the multiplayer for those games was solely PvE, whereas Battlefront’s microtransactions are part of the game’s PvP content.

[gingervsblondie]

Blondie Brings Up Baby (1939)

8:38 PM, Thursday, 26 September 2019

Nineteen. Ni- Ni- Nineteen.

Ni- Ni- Nineteen.

Nineteen thirty-nine.

How does our favourite zany

Nuclear familial vignette

Get themselves into another casse-tête?

Dagwood’s filled with sandwiches while Flournoy’s filled with regret

And Alexander’s traumatized

You ready for more yet?

Blondie Brings Up Baby. Let’s get into it.

By the way, we’ve got a new head screenwriter, Gladys Lehman. Our old friend Dick Flournoy’s still on the Wikipedia page as “story by, (uncredited)” though.

8:40

I don’t know if I’ve only just noticed this or if this movie just gave the first indication of it, but Dagwood is really bad at his job.

8:42

8:43

UHHH. There’s a woman in the Bumsteads’ house. There hasn’t been a woman in the Bumsteads’ house before. I have no idea who she is and the movie moved swiftly on without explaining who she is.

8:46

UHHHHHHHH. They cut from a scene of Dagwood and Blondie at a police station telling a receptionist that Alexander is missing, after he didn’t show up to school, to a scene where Dagwood is in a shed, and COMPLETELY INEXPLICABLY, a bunch of police with tommy guns have him surrounded and start firing on him and throwing tear gas bombs.

I have no fucking clue what is going on in this movie.

8:51

UHHHHHHHHHHHHH. All of that was the build up to the intro. The intro is playing now.

The movie hasn’t even started yet.

WHAT.

WHAT IS HAPPENING.

They haven’t had anything before the intro on any of the other movies.

8:52

OKAY. SO.

The last few movies I’ve watched on YouTube. They’re in the public domain anyway as far as I can tell. But I couldn’t find a version of Blondie Brings Up Baby with good enough quality, so I switched to Amazon Prime.

Turns out, I’ve just discovered, all the Blondie movies on Amazon Prime have 3-5 minutes of scenes with ABSOLUTELY NO CONTEXT pinned onto the beginning before the intro. So I just watched 4 minutes and 40 seconds of Blondie Brings Up Baby SPOILERS.

And I’m furious about it.

9:05

There’s a “huh?” that Dagwood does in these whenever he does a double-take, and it’s gotta be my least favourite recurring bit. They use it like a rimshot or a catchphrase to punctuate jokes, and 100% of the time it just extends something that wasn’t funny.

9:11

See okay: He just did one, but silently. There was no “huh?”, just Dagwood looking confused. And it was a little bit funny! That’s all it took. No “huh?”.

9:16

K, this time Blondie’s the one being a bad parent. A guy showed up at the door offering a free IQ test for Alexander. Is that a thing that happened in the 30s? No idea, but it’s what’s happening in the movie so let’s just go with it. Alvin, Alexander’s friend/enemy/neighbour who he occasionally brains with a fucking brick, has been over and has been calling Alexander (and also Dagwood) a dumbbell all day. So to get revenge on Alvin, Blondie is getting all competitive about the IQ test, telling Alexander that he has to beat Alvin.

It’s giving me flashbacks to a music teacher I had in high school. We were going to a concert band competition in another province, and she told us she wouldn’t accept us bringing home anything other than gold. In the middle of the performance, we lost time with each other (because we’d never played in an auditorium and weren’t used to the acoustics) and had to start the song over. We got bronze. On the bus ride home, she didn’t talk to us. I don’t think she even looked at us.

The next year, I took drama instead of music.

9:27

Ok. So. The dude with the IQ test watched Alexander build a house out of toy blocks. Based on that, he told Blondie that Alexander is a genius, and that his IQ is 168.

(What follows is me disassembling the logic of this, which I’ll shortly learn was a pointless endeavour.)

First of all, no way can he determine an IQ that specific based on a house Alexander built out of toy blocks. Secondly, I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be telling a child they’re a genius, since they’d end up developing less motivation, thinking that their accomplishments are a result of natural gifts rather than hard work. And third, UNLESS they turn around and reveal that the IQ test, which I’ll note happened off-screen, was somehow wrong and Alexander isn’t actually a genius, then I am going to spend the remaining movies in this series frustrated at their continued insistence on calling him “Baby Dumpling.” Which, you know, I already am anyway. Although maybe demeaning him like that will balance out them telling him he’s a genius.

9:34

Oh ok. The test wasn’t wrong. The IQ dude is just a con artist selling encyclopedias.

Should’ve seen that coming.

9:38

Dagwood thought IQ meant temperature, and came rushing home thinking Alexander was terribly sick. It cut to him ripping up the encyclopedias Blondie just bought, saying “This guy’s crazy, coming around here with books at a time like this.”

What an insufferable doofus.

9:41

I’m not a fan of Blondie entirely falling for this con artist’s BS. I feel like she hasn’t been that gullible before. She’s gotten mad at Dagwood based on comical misunderstandings, but that’s been understandable based on the context she didn’t have. But we as an audience are given just as much context as Blondie is to know that this dude is swindling her. It just makes her seem stupid.

9:48

Teacher: “Well, how do you do young man? So you want to start to school?”

Blondie: “NO MA'AM!”

Mood.

9:51

Man, elementary school is a bonkers institution. Just send your small child to a building they cannot leave full of strangers who have absolute authority over them, and are sometimes totally insane people, where they’ll be taught things they not only cannot use but definitely will not remember because they’re tiny tiny children. And sometimes the insane adult strangers will yell at your child. For not behaving. And they’re not behaving because they’re in a place they don’t want to be and cannot leave where strangers have the authority to yell at them for mistakes they’re making FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THEIR LIVES BECAUSE THEY’RE SMALL SMALL CHILDREN.

10:11

Huh. I think they just broke the canon? I’ve been calling Baby Dumpling Alexander because the Wikipedia for the first movie listed him as Alexander "Baby Dumpling" Bumstead, but in Blondie Brings Up Baby, they just had this exchange:

Alexander: “[They beat me up] ’cause my name’s Baby Dumpling.”

Dagwood: “Well, your real name’s Dagwood, after me. Maybe we’ll call you that now that you’re going to school?”

Alexander: “Noooo. Guess I’ll stay Baby Dumpling.”

I dunno if his real name’s Alexander in the comic strip and they just forgot while they were writing this? They haven’t called him Alexander in the other movies, I was just basing that entirely off the Wikipedia article. I can’t believe they’d make 28 movies without a clear story bible.

(Future Euan looked it up. In the comic strip, Baby Dumpling grew up into a teenager, and became Alexander.)

I’m still gonna call him Alexander by the way.

10:17

As these movies have gone on, I’ve been increasingly concerned about the wellbeing of the dog. Like, the real dog, behind the scenes. I really hope they weren’t abusing her to get her to do all the stuff she does. But I can’t say I’d be surprised if they were. She kinda gives the vibe of “dog doing impressive tricks because they’ll punish her if she doesn’t.” Maybe I’m wrong though. Maybe they had, like, a super good treat to give her every time she did a trick.

10:23

10:24

God I wish I were watching Peanuts.

10:25

Or reading Peanuts.

10:26

You ever notice how in old movies when they cross-fade between two shots, there’ll be an abrupt change in the brightness of the footage right before it fades, and then again after it stops fading? One day I’ll learn why that was.

(Here’s the answer, courtesy of future Euan: https://www.quora.com/How-did-movies-do-a-cross-fade-with-real-film)

10:36

Only moment I’ve liked so far: Daisy’s gone missing (because a dogcatcher caught her and brought her to the pound). The mailman, a young guy on a bike who’s had a recurring bit through every movie where he whistles and Daisy comes running to take the paper from him, just whistled, and instead of Daisy, Alexander came to take the mail and tells him Daisy’s missing. And he says “As soon as I’m finished delivering, I’ll look for her. I’ll look on my bike.”

That’s kinda sweet. No sweet moments between Dagwood and Blondie yet this time, but one sweet moment between a mailman who’s barely talked before and a dog.

10:42

There’s a lot of punching in these movies. Like, just Dagwood suddenly becoming infuriated and decking someone in the face.

What a violent doofus.

10:47

Dagwood got arrested for assaulting the dude who got him fired and didn’t have enough to pay it off so he got put in jail. His boss, Mr. Dithers, came to pay it off for him, while the dude’s in court.

Dithers: “How much is it your honour?”

Judge: “Ten dollars.”

Dithers: “Is that all that cost?”

Judge: “Mm.”

(Dithers punches the dude out)

Dithers: (offering money) “Here’s another one, your honour.”

I don’t want to hear another word about video games inciting violence in young people. Goddamn the rest of culture is responsible for glorifying violence.

10:53

Alexander: “You’re a girl. I don’t like girls.”

Girl: “Why?”

Alexander: “Oh… Don’t know. I learned it in school.”

Ho-ly shit. Movie spitting straight truth.

10:59

Might as well drop this here:

I’ve decided that once I’ve watched all the movies, I’m gonna write my own Blondie, A 60 page screenplay with all the hallmarks and the structure of the other ones. I mean, if I’m gonna be dragging them through the dirt, it’s only fair that I see if I could do any better.

11:02

I Want a Dog For Christmas, Charlie Brown. That’d be a good one to be watching right about now.

11:07

No, I tell you what:

There are Blondie movies for every year between 1939 and 1950, EXCEPT for 1944. So that’s when I’ll write my script. Once I’ve watched the first 14, every Blondie movie between 1939 and 1943, I’ll write the Blondie movie to have come out in 1944.

11:10

I now have the context for why the police surrounded the shed that Dagwood was in. It still doesn’t make sense though. He was trespassing on a rich guy’s yard, a gardener knocked him out with a shovel and dragged him into the shed, and then presumably called for all of the police to come pick him up, and bring enough weapons to keep a city-wide riot at bay.

11:13

So the police thought Dagwood was somehow responsible for Alexander and the rich dude’s daughter going missing?

Well I’m riveted.

11:16

Or Why, Charlie Brown, Why?

11:19

“You see, playing with other children is the solution. Oh, if only this city had some place where this sort of thing could be carried out. Where the weak children could get courage from the strong, and the strong could learn compassion.”

So not school then.

“Why, I could do something like that. A sort of home for children! I’ll build it myself. It’ll be light and airy, with plenty of windows and playgrounds.”

THE ORPHANAGE

11:25

This movie ends with Dagwood getting insulted again by Alvin. He finds a tear gas bomb that he put in his pocket earlier when the police were attacking him, and says “Here’s a nice ball for you to play with.”

Dagwood just tried to tear gas a child.

What a dangerous doofus.

And once again, no Dagwood Sandwich Watch 2019. However, I’ll give the movie a rating all the same.

Turns out Willie Best isn’t in the movie. Wikipedia was wrong. I’m guessing somebody copied and pasted the cast from the first movie, so that they could put in the regular cast, and forgot to take him out. And the movie wasn’t, as I assumed from the title, about Dagwood being a stay-at-home father. Which, I’ve only just realized, is still me thinking Blondie means Dagwood because he’s so much more prominent in the franchise, and I somehow still haven’t managed to internalize that his name is Dagwood. It’s like I’ve learned nothing since I started this. ANYWAY point is the movie wasn’t racist or sexist. It was just boring. Terribly terribly boring.

My rating is: One Dagwood Sandwich with some ham on the outside and nothing on the inside. Blame Amazon.

[codydcampbell1]

The Advertising Wyrm (Ft. Final Fantasy XV)

Hi Everyone,

So I’ve been thinking a lot about advertising in non-physical media lately. Nobody really likes advertisements (except during the super bowl for some weird reason) and it seems like if you ask people whether or not they want advertisements in their movies, TV shows, podcasts, internet videos, ect., an overwhelming majority of people will probably say no.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t like them either. There’s nothing like an Axe Body Spray commercial trying to tell me all I need in order to be drowning in women is a can of their middle school skunk juice to really take me out of my viewing experience. They can’t mace you if you mace yourself first!

But there are times when I understand why advertisements are necessary. Radio was probably the first great example. No one pays for radio, but people wanted to be able to tune in and here music, talk shows and news. Sure, there were some hobbyists who were willing to broadcast for free, but income was (and is.. that’s right, radio is still a thing!) necessary for most stations. Equipment, facilities and talent all cost money. So how do you make money when no one is paying for your service?

You sell ad-space.

And that’s a pretty fair deal. You get free media, and in exchange, you spend some of your time listening to businesses that financed said media so you don’t have to. You can crank the Stones, or Kelly Clarkson (or whatever the hell kids are into these days) and then suffer through a brief message from Crazy Willy’s no-down, low-low APR car loans before going back to your morning commute jams.

I personally love a good podcast. One of my favorites, a Dungeons and Dragons podcast called The Adventure Zone, has a commercial break in the center of every episode that I happily listen through, knowing that it’s financing a product that I’m not paying for. Similarly, YouTube ads can help pay content producers on all those cat videos and swimsuit fails you watch for free.

(This one is a video of a cat watching a swimsuit fail)

TV started out with a similar set up, but that changed with the advent of cable. They offered more channels and clearer reception in exchange for a subscription, but the commercials didn’t go anywhere. You were now paying the cable company directly AND viewing ads.

To be fair, this was initially an optional upgrade and the cable companies didn’t necessarily pay the networks that were producing the content, so in a way you were paying in two separate ways for two separate services.

The problem is that once people got used to this system, it opened up the gateway to a whole bunch of other services. You might buy a movie ticket and be forced to sit through ads before getting to see the film (reminder, Coka-Cola asks you to please silence your phone) or you might be paying for a streaming service like Hulu and still have to sit through ads. In both of these instances, you are paying twice. Hulu tries to justify this by arguing that they do this in order to offer a discounted service and gives you the option to pay extra for less or no ads, but it still feels like your paying to watch advertisements and that’s never a good feeling.

This gets even more insidious with Final Fantasy XV.

That’s right nerds! I’m bringing a video game into my advertising rant!

In the game you play Noctis, the leader of a group of four young men on a road trip to save the world… or something. You ride in a car that was replicated by Audi in conjunction with the games release, regularly stop to make camp using Coleman brand tents, stoves, chairs, cutlery and mugs, the American Express logo appears in business windows within the game, all of the characters clothes were designed and are sold IRL by a Japanese fashion label called Roen… and then there’s the worst offender. Those of you who’ve already played the game know exactly what I’m talking about.

Cup-F***ing-Noodles.

These little bastards are all over this game. There are billboards for them. There’s a truck that sells them as a consumable item on the boardwalk. Noctis, the prince of a warring nation and solemn hero of your journey, can get a hat (as part of a free DLC) shaped like a Styrofoam cup with the branding printed boldly across its front. But this is probably the most egregious offender of all.

Now, there were a lot of people who this didn’t bother. It seemed relatively harmless and even funny at times. Memes spread across the internet like lazily Photoshopped wildfire.

But the problem is that Square Enix didn’t put these products in your game to be funny or because they thought they flushed out the story. The ads did the opposite. Every time these products appeared on screen, they were instantly immersion breaking. They immediately took me out of the story and the fantasy world that the writers had worked so hard to produce and made me very aware that I was being sold something.

That pissed me off because I’d already bought something. THE GAME!

I’d spent $60 of my own hard earned dollar bills on a plastic disk, not knowing that I was going to spend the next ~100 hours in a fantasy world with real world ads. Square Enix is not a struggling company trying to find a way to finance their product. They are one of the largest video game publishers on the planet. This is nothing more than unadulterated corporate greed, steamed in a disposable cup.

But I acknowledge that my experience doesn’t reflect everyone’s. As I said before, many were unbothered or even amused by the company selling their soul to shrimp flavored capitalism. Other games have implemented product placement in the past, Final Fantasy XV is just the most shameless example. Still though, you have to admit that this could prove problematic going forward.

The more we get used to this sort of thing, the more we’re going to see it.

And where does it end? E-books have been on the rise for years. Many believe that they will eventually come to completely replace print. After all, they take up less space, cost almost nothing to produce and don’t require any third party sellers, storage or shipping.

How long before you have to sit through an ad between chapters? How long before you start buying “ad-free” books at a premium? How long before that starts to feel normal?

Maybe I’m just paranoid. Maybe books are safe and Ray Bradbury can continue to rest peacefully. I just feel like we shouldn’t take this sort of thing lightly. Companies will continue to worm ads anywhere they think we will tolerate them, so it’s up to us to decide where we draw that line.

Square Enix is about to release the first of three parts in the Final Fantasy VII Remake. Something I’ve been waiting six years for. It’s one of the single most influential stories of my childhood. Buying them new, I will already be paying $180 USD for a video game. If Cloud’s Motorcycle is made by Honda, they will have lost a life-long customer.

Thanks for reading everyone. Let me know your thoughts in the comments,

-Cody

PS: My analysis blogs will probably be more writing and script focused in the future. This is just something that’s been bothering me.