#like how she went to michael n they were being weird n then freaked out when she knew ava was at the door | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nojey · 4 years ago

Text

finally

feral boys x streamer!reader (separate)

genre: fluff, crack

warning(s): none

synopsis: the feral boys finally meet their favorite streamers

dreamwastaken / clay

word count: 407

the day you met dream, you were on the phone with your best friend george, also known as georgenotfound

he was speedrunning on stream while you were on a discord call with him

his viewers knew who you were, not only because you were george’s best friend but also because you were a streamer too

you weren’t a big one but well known for how well you play battle box in mcc

george was about to end his stream after an unsuccessful speed run when he asked you something

“you know dream right?”

“yeah, of course, he’s one of your other best friends” you answered

“are you okay with me adding him to the call?” he asked you.

“uh sure, but aren’t you gonna end stream?”

“no, i will after this.” he giggled

“why? are you trying to embarrass one of us?” you asked him suspiciously.

“you don’t have to worry about that.”

you heard a ding from discord, indicating that someone joined your voice chat

“hello? dream?” george asked.

“george. why? why are you doing this to me?” dream asked.

“hi dream,” you smiled.

“uh, hi. hi (y/n).”

“george why did you add me to the call?” he asked george.

“well, i know how much you like watching their stream. and considering you’re both my best friends, why not introduce you! perfect right? anyways. i’m gonna end my stream now. let’s raid karl. and you two can talk to each other. bye now!” he left the call so now it was just you and dream in the vc

it really warmed your heart that someone with such a big platform liked watching your streams since it had been quite hard to gain a following since you started streaming

“hi dream,” you said once again

he sighed. “hi (y/n).” “i really didn’t want him to do that, i didn’t want this to be the first time we meet, you know. i just love watching your streams so much and i wanted it to, honestly, be in person. but you know, george does what he thinks he shou-”

“it’s okay dream, i’ve actually been looking forward to meeting you, considering you’re also one of george’s best friends. but i do agree, he does tend to do whatever he puts his mind to.”

after you calmed his nerves, his conversation skills skyrocketed and the conversations flowed very easily

you guys spent the rest of the night talking

georgenotfound / george

word count: 326

being a minecraft streamer and a hypebeast got you some recognition

you were a hypebeast model on instagram and when you had announced you started streaming minecraft on twitch you had grown pretty easily

it didn’t take you time before you were invited to join mcc

not just because you had a big following but because you were actually really good at playing

since you didn’t really know any other mc streamers you got placed in a group with people you had never met

their names were Ph1lzA, WilburSoot, and GeorgeNotFound

the first time you talked to them, they welcomed you with open arms and we so nice

“hi (y/s/n)! i’m philza but you can just call me phil,” he introduced.

“hi phil!” you responded.

“i’m wilbur, is this gonna be your first mcc?” wilbur asked.

“yeah, it is. i’m actually really nervous.” you laughed a bit, to get the nerves out.

“ah okay, well no worries. we were all beginners before. don’t worry about trying to score high, just have fun!” phil assured.

“we’re just waiting for one other person and we’ll get started on the practice.” phil continued.

“okie dokie,” you said. you put yourself on mute and wiped the sweat off your hands on your pants.

“hello, hello, sorry i’m late. had trouble starting the server.” you heard.

“well nice of you to join us george.” wilbur said.

“yeah, yeah. hi philza, hi wilbur, hi (y/s/n)- wait, (y/s/n)??” he stuttered

“hi george?,” you said softly.

“oh my god, i’ve watched your streams before, they’re really cool. i enjoy watching them.” he rambled.

you giggled

“well thank you,” you said, still giggling a little.

for the rest of the day you all practiced, everyone giving you pointers, but george watching carefully to make sure you understood the pointers you were getting

and if you didn’t then he knew to tell you which part you were kind of misunderstanding

sapnap

word count: 398

you met sapnap long before you became a streamer

you were a big fan of sapnap

and one day you ran into him in public

it was a short interaction but it really meant a lot to you

so you asked for a picture to remember the moment by

after you took the picture you said your goodbyes and you were extremely excited

a few weeks after than interaction you had made the decision to start streaming

you were thinking about becoming one for a long time and after meeting sapnap you made your decision

because you wanted to be the type of person sapnap was to you

and be a person someone looked up to and meet people that felt the way about you that you feel about sapnap

you’d been a streamer for a few months when you got a raid from sapnap himself

his viewers were suggesting he raided you so he did

you freaked out, you gained a small following and the fact that sapnap decided to raid you? amazed

but what you didn’t know was that he kept watching you

after he saw how appreciative you were he wanted to watch more and he got intrigued

so he followed you and started watching your streams almost every time you streamed whenever he wasn’t busy

after about 2 years of streaming you got a very big following

your supporters were stalking your twitter and found the picture of you and sapnap when you both met

they then began to repost it on twitter tagging the both of you

you saw it and replied, “LMAO i look so small. but big shoutout to sapnap for raiding me as a small streamer and making all this possible <3″

he saw your reply and his eyes went big

HE MET YOU BEFORE!??

he then proceeded to respond to your tweet, “we’ve met before??”

and it went back and forward

“yeah, it was before i was a streamer, we met at like.. the grocery store lol”

“i literally had no idea you were a fan of me”

“yup, i’ve been for the past 3 years”

“dude after i raided you i started watching your streams and you became my favorite streamer”

“well,, you’re still my favorite streamer ;)”

after that sapnap dmd you asking if you guys could meet in person again

and who could pass up that offer

karl jacobs

word count: 510

you and karl met at twitchcon

you had recently become a big streamer and this was your 2nd time going to twitchcon

1st time having a meet and greet

meeting your supporters meant so much to you

you finally get to give each of them a hug, and it may not be all of them but seeing this many people come out to meet you meant more than anyone could imagine

but being at twitchcon also meant you could meet your streamer friends

which made everything 10x more exciting

you decided to meet up with your friend, valkyrae and you guys were going to a creator party

when you finally got to see her you gave her a huge hug that lasted a while because it was the first time you were meeting in person

once you both reached the venue of where the party was being held you all met up with your other friends. you hadn’t met any of them in person but rae had

you saw sykkuno, lily, michael, toast, and a few other people and smiled really big, excited to see all of them

you finally got to them and pulled them into a group hug

“you guys!! oh my god it feels so good to finally meet all of you!” you said.

“it’s nice to meet you in person, (y/n).” sykkuno said smiling at you

you let go of the hug and remembered everyone else that they were with

“hi! i’m (y/s/n) but you can just call me (y/n),” you said with a smile.

“this is karl, poki, and scarra.” toast introduced.

you saw karl and poki whispering to each other while you got into a conversation with everyone else.

poki coughed and said, “hey guys! don’t we have to go to that thing, right? that thing.” hinting at something, looking between you and karl.

you’re pretty sure everyone caught on and they all agreed.

“oh yeah! that thing!”

“yeah, we should probably go!”

“yup, don’t wanna be late to that thing.”

you looked at them with an unimpressed look as they walked away, looking behind their shoulders to see you and karl standing there.

“hi, i’m-i’m karl, i’m sorry about that. i just told poki that you’re like literally my favorite streamer and i guess she wanted us to talk more? i don’t know, but it’s really nice to meet you.” karl said.

you laughed as you quickly understood your friends weird behavior

“yeah, you raided me a few times- thank you for that by the way. it helped me a lot in growing my fanbase and i don’t think i’d be where i am if you hadn’t raided me.” you smiled at him. he beamed and smiled back at you.

“yeah, no, it was no problem. like i said you’re literally my favorite streamer and being able to help you with that is absolutely insane to me.”

for the rest of the party, your friends could see both of you talking the night away

and maybe even dance together

quackity

word count: 428

finding out what to do for stream was kinda hard when pretty much all your friends were busy

but then you got a text from karl, asking if you wanted to play jackbox with him and a few friends

you accepted, knowing you wouldn’t have anything else to stream

in the lobby it would be you, karl, dream, sapnap and a few other people you didn’t know

when it was finally time to play, you started up your stream and introduced what you’d be playing that night

“hey guys, welcome welcome, welcome. today i’m gonna be playing jackbox with karl, dream, sapnap, and a few other of karls friends.”

you joined the vc and immediately heard a lot of boys talking very loudly

you let out a small, “hello?”

somehow everyone heard you and stopped talking

“(y/n)!” karl yelled out.

dream and sapnap let out a “hi, (y/n)” and you said hello back.

“hi everyone, i’m (y/s/n) but you all can call me (y/n)” you introduced yourself.

eveyrone else said hi and introduced themselves

you found out you were playing with quackity, wilbur, tommy, and techno too

during mad verse city karl was going against quackity and his rap went something like this

“you talk so weird, i’m gonna need translator, next time (y/n)’s here they’re gonna be a hater, because your big crush on them i’ll see ya later”

your mouth was wide open while all the boys started teasing quackity

“what the fuck! i don’t have a crush on them!”

quackity ended up losing that one.

after the game and you ended you stream you asked quackity to stay

“hi quackity,” you said, with an energetic voice

“... hey, (y/n)”

“sooo, was what karl said true?” you asked.

“mm not necessarily. it’s not that i have a crush on you. you’re.. just my favorite streamer and you know. this is the first time i’m meeting you and i was telling all of them that i’m nervous because i’ve never talked to you before and i think you’re a great streamer and that you put out really funny content and i didn’t wanna embarrass myself but. karl did that for me.” he rambled

you giggled

“i think that’s really cute. thank you for supporting me. you can dm me on twitter or discord if you ever wanna play sometime.” you told him and left the vc.

you then saw all the boys you were playing with pile into the vc and you could only imagine what they were talking about.

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deepdonutkid · 4 years ago

Text

Kismet

Requested: No

Paring: Shelby!Sister Reader x Isaiah

Words: 5624

Summary: For a year now, you had a secret relationship with Isaiah and even when he is still in the same room with you, you can’t stop feeling lonely. It’s not that you don’t love him anymore, it more about the weight of the secret you have to carry. But with Tommy as you big brother you can’t risk, telling the truth or your man might get shot.

Note:

I was in the mood for a Shelby!Sister reader x Isaiah and it turned out to be way longer than I expected it... and I even cut out dialog... So here it is!

It’s also flavored with Junior Peaky Boys fun at the beginning. And I was inspired by my homegirl’s one shot called star and my story is an addition to hers, it’s the same night, but Bonnie has some other adventures than the reader and Isaiah.

Somehow I feel like everybody is a little ooc, but I couldn’t correct it.

Requests and tag list are still open, feel free to dm me or send me an ask.

tagging: @bonniesgoldengirl @justalonelyslytherin @theshelbyclan

Warning: swear words, drinking, binge drinking, gambling, a hinted smut and a sweet ending

It was one of those nights, nothing special, just the usual fellows around the same table in the Garrison. You had fun nevertheless. All your friends were right there, you had enough to drink and you had a luck hand today. The cards seemed to work in your fortune.

Deviously smiling you revealed your hand. You just had won this round and it gave you unholy amounts of satisfactions. “Ha”, you cheered: “Suck it up.”

Your friend shrugged and shoved his coins in your direction. All he said was a very grumpy “There you go”, but it pleased you.

You took the money and peaked around the corner. Where was Michael with the drinks? He was like a brother to you, but he was just your cousin. Maybe it was because you were born just two months before his older sister, Anna. Even though, she was gone Michael came back to his real family and now you were closer than ever. You cared for him, more than your siblings did.

But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t hit him, if he just left the bar to fuck with some random girl. It was not about him having sex, more about leaving without telling anybody. Especially when he was supposed to get drinks for the table. You moaned and said: “Where is Michael?”

“Probably doing somebody”, Isaiah joked and lit a cigarette. Then he offered you one and you took it gladly. Actually, you bit your lip and gave him the side-eye, but you had to hide your smile in front of the others. Bonnie and Finny weren’t the smartest boys in Small Heath, but you wouldn’t risk it.

You had so much fun with Isaiah that you didn’t even know when it started. Months passed by, while you were completely caught up in your little game with him. Nobody knew it. That was mainly Isaiah’s fault. At first it amused you to keep your relationship with him secret, but now you were ready to tell your family about it. Your boyfriend didn’t like the idea.

Somehow you thought Michael started to notice. He gave you the glace, which said: “I know, dear”, but maybe you were just getting crazy. You just had to be more careful around others now and everything was fine.

The night was still young and you were keen to make Bonnie lose all his money today. He had won the boxing match earlier and the bruises were still visible, but unfortunately for him, he couldn’t win against you. It was just a card game, but it filled you with gleeful joy. This and the fact that Isaiah was sitting next to you. Sometimes he would brush your thigh with his fingers, which made you giggle even more.

“There he is”, yelled Finny while being so fucking drunk, like you never had seen him before. Michael arrived with messy hair and his tie was undone, but he had your drink and that was all that you care for. “Finally”, you fluted and ripped the glass of his hand: “Thank you, babe.”

And the whiskey was still cold, which meant he fucked the girl first and ordered the drinks afterwards. “How was she? Good?” you asked before you took a sip from your whiskey. You weren’t a lightweight when it came to drinking, maybe not as well as Arthur and John, but you could tolerate much more than Ada and Finny. Your little brother was so drunk, he looked like his head was all empty and yet filled with bullshit.

Michael sat down next to you and answered: “Mhh, she was okay, but she talked too much.” Then you felt the weight of a hand on your thigh again. A shiver rushed down your spine, but it was the wrong side. Your cousin had put his hand on your knee. “Everything alright, Y/N?”

You nodded. “Yeah, everything is perfect”, you blabbered hoping he wouldn’t keep asking questions, but he did. “Don’t be so worried, every time I’m with a girl. I know you’re still a virgin, but you can get some too. Tommy wouldn’t be against it.”

How wonderfully wrong he was. Neither were you a virgin nor would Tommy be okay with this. After all, you were his little sister and he wouldn’t accept the guy, you were sleeping with. Of course, Isaiah was a friend of the family, but after the whole thing with Ada and Freddie you had something to worry about.

The best snarky comeback was right on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn’t say it without letting something slip. ‘What gives you the idea I’m still a virgin?’ And yet you were silent as the guy who fucked you, sat right next to you. You felt trapped and decided to go straight forward. “Yes, he would. You know it and everybody in Small Heath knows it.”

“Oh whatever”, Michael mumbled: “Just drink enough and you eventually forget about it.”

You grinned and emptied your drink. “Fuck it, let’s play some cards. I’m not done with Mr. Gold over here.” Then you took the cards and dealt them to start the next round.

Much later that night when you brought Finn back home and went straight back to the pub, in front of the entrance, you stumbled into Bonnie. “Is there a reason why you’re smirking?” you asked him. He was gleaming red and smiling like an idiot.

Then you remembered. “The singer, right?” Bonnie nodded and his grin got even wider. “You talked to her?” Again he gave you a silent answer. You grabbed his arm and pulled him back inside. He was a lot heavier than you thought, but then again, you were just a girl and he was a boxer.

Sometime it was weird to only have male friends, it just happened. Maybe it was because of your brothers. Maybe that’s why you never acted like a proper girl. Of course you felt like a woman and you liked your body, but in your eyes it was so much easier to talk to guys.

“Eyy, where did you found him?” Michael slurred and helped you to put your friend on a chair again. With your hands finally free you had the chance to explain. “Found him outside. I don’t know what he did there, but he talked to the singer.”

Both, Isiah and Michael nodded. It was only logical for Bonnie to freak out after it talking to her. He was there every Friday night looking for the singer and now his brain seemed to melt, just because she said something to him. But neither of you knew, what she said exactly. Maybe this was a problem for another night. It didn’t look like Bonnie was able to answer.

So you ordered some more drinks and sat back down again. In this separate room, which was reserved for your family, it was almost too tempting to get close to your boyfriend again. Isiah looked so good that night and it hurt to be unable to touch him… or to kiss him. But you would be satisfied with just holding his hand now.

It was a curse; you knew it soon after you realized that you loved him. He was handsome, charming and a loyal friend. There was no better man for you, even though you wished you could be together in public. And again you bit your lip and moved your chair away from him.

But you couldn’t think about this anymore, it was too frustrating and luckily somebody else caught your attention. It was Bonnie who mumbled very quietly: “I think she kissed me, but it could be a dream as well. It felt so surreal.” You padded his shoulder and nodded to underline your compassion.

It was just the same with Isaiah. Whenever you two were alone, it was amazing and beautiful. He was so soft and romantic and he just made you happy. But every time you woke up and he was gone, the sweet scenery shattered. And out in public it was getting annoying to find excuses to be with him or getting away, so you could spend some time alone with him and you had to lie to your whole family about your whereabouts. Slowly it became exhausting.

There was nothing you could do about it, so you just drank your whiskey and talked with the boys about Bonnie’s singer and the girl Michael had. It was so easy for them to display their relationship in the public, but of course you didn’t have this privilege as a girl. Apparently, you needed to be protected. Or so it has been explained to you. You wasn’t concerned for your safety but for your freedom. Tommy said it was his job as your big brother to care for you, even if it felt like he was controlling you. You have always been the wild one among your siblings and everything was fine, until your mum died and your dad left. Then Tommy was in charge and sometimes his opinions would vary from yours, which led to fights. And yet you feared what he might do, if he found out about your secret.

All the sudden Bonnie fell from his chair and you groaned. Now somebody had to bring him home as well. First Finn and now him… but why they couldn’t take the whiskey today? You weren’t nearly as drunk as them, but still.

Isaiah stood up and picked his friend up. “I’m taking him home. I’ll be right back”, he said, before leaving.

Now Michael and you were alone. It wasn’t what you wanted. The only thing you could think of was smooching the sweet lips of your boyfriend. You were caught up in your little fantasy, when your cousin woke you up again. “Isaiah is acting weird lately.”

“Oh… really? I didn’t notice”, you replied: “He seemed normal to me.” Your hand grabbed the fringe of your dress. Talking about him made you nervous.

Michael moaned and fumbled for his cigarettes. He put them out, you took one and he turned his between his fingers, when he added: “I don’t know, maybe I’m getting paranoid, but I think he is hiding something from us.” Then he lit his cigarette and took a drag from it.

You inhaled sharply and stared into the void for a second, before answering: “Don’t be silly, he is just as loyal as ever.” Then you laughed and Michael joined in. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I just needed to get this off my chest.”

The rest of the conversation went just like usual. You chatted, you bickered and you had fun. While the bell already announced the new day, Isaiah came back.

In this tiny glimpse of a moment you couldn’t hide your smile and he reciprocated. Actually, you were just waiting for Michael to leave now. It was your plan all along, but patience has never been your strong suit.

It took three more rounds for Michael to say goodnight. “Take care of her, will you?” Isaiah nodded. When Michael finally grabbed his jacket and headed to the door, you felt unbelievably excited. Your fingertips slapped a melody on the table, while you watched him leaving. The door shut and now you had what you longed for all night.

You turned around and looked at him. Gosh, waiting felt like an eternity. Now you were the one smiling like an idiot. Slowly Isaiah came closer and his hand pulled you to him for a kiss. “Finally”, you whispered against his lips, before giving him what he wanted.

After you two parted you rested your head on his shoulder. Now you were getting tired as well, but you didn’t want to go to your bed. “I was waiting the whole evening for this”, he moaned and stroked your hair.

The smell of his perfume made you realized how much you missed him too, even though he was with you since you went to Garrison tonight. You moved closer to him and wrapped your arms around him to give him a tight squeeze. Then you signed: “I wish we didn’t have to hide” and buried your face in his shirt.

“Babe”, he replied: “We already had this conversation. It wouldn’t end well. Let’s just enjoy what we have as long as we can.” It hurt, but Isaiah was right. There was no chance Tommy was getting you off the hook, once he knew about it. And no matter how you explained it to him, he would still be against it. You were too young for stuff like that, as if he didn’t fucked Greta, when he was the same age.

You leaned back to see his beautiful face again. There was something in his eyes, a twinkle or something like that, but it always made you feel comfortable. A lick of your lip was enough to purpose the idea of doing something nasty. He knew you since you were children and it was like he could read your thoughts, especially the dirty ones.

Isaiah started giggling and asked: “Hey, babe, I still can cheer you up, right?”

Maybe it was time for some fun, different to the fun you had before with your friends. The word pleasure would describe it well and with his knowing look he gave you so many ideas. You laughed and nodded. “I think it might help when you do the thing with your tongue.”

“Oh”, he responded amused: “Like this?” And then grabbed you for a kiss and god, what a kiss it was. His tongue brushed your upper lip just to enter your mouth and explore it as if it was your first kiss. He even bit your lip playfully and kept going until you couldn’t breathe no more. Your knees started shaking and it was needless to say, he was the best kisser you ever had.

It took you a while to catch a breath again, but then you answered: “Yeah, just like this… But maybe we could go to your place and do a little more?”

He didn’t seem to be so sure about this suggestion. His thumb stroked your shoulder as he held you in his arm. Because he was so quiet for a second, you knew, he thought about this backwards and forwards. “But right when the sun comes up, you have to go back home”, he argued.

Again, Isaiah was right. You should take too many risks. Otherwise you might get caught and neither of you wanted that. All you could do was to shrug and agree: “Just don’t shoo me after we fucked.” There was bitterness in your voice. What wouldn’t you give to wake up next to him every morning?

The pub was almost empty, when you left. You couldn’t hold his hand on the way out. Everybody in Small Heath was Tommy’s spy. Back on the streets a cold wind blew. Now you had an excuse to go near him and he shared his coat with you. Isaiah was always so sweet and caring. You knew you wanted to spend your future with him. There was no other man and you wouldn’t get over him, not now and not in five years.

You even took off your shoes before entering the Jesus household and followed him on your tiptoes to his room. It was completely dark in the house and the silence was haunting, but good for you, you knew the way by now. The excitement made your fingers tremble.

Finally you arrived where you wanted to be the whole day, in his room. Isaiah closed the door as quietly as possible and started smiling. You walked up to him and started to unbutton his shirt. Now you didn’t want to waste any time.

And neither did Isaiah. He was ripping down your dress, which only worked because the straps were so thin. His hands were all over your body and you couldn’t stop kissing every inch of his skin. It felt like magic whenever he touched you. You moaned, when he played with your bare breasts. To silence you he put his thumb on your lips, which you took as an invitation to suck it. Maybe it was mean to tease him like that, but you were desperate for his affection.

An hour later you laid next to him, your head on his chest as he stroked your hair. “You should leave, before we both fall asleep, babe”, he whispered, which caused you to sign. Leaving now was draining, even exhausting. After this wonderful sex, you were too tired to move anywhere, not to the bathroom and certainly not back to your cold bed.

You pouted your lips and tilted your head, so you could give him your puppy eyes and a pretty please with cream and a cherry on top. “Just ten more minutes. Your bed is way comfier than mine.”

He laughed and kissed your forehead. “That’s just because I’m in this bed and you like to use me as your personal giant pillow.” Your fingers hovered about his belly. Even though his muscles weren’t tense now, you could still feel the strength lying beneath his skin.

While your index finger drew circles around his bellybutton, you whined: “Maybe… just maybe that is true, but I still want to lay here for a bit. Otherwise I start to feel like a whore, who only comes for sex and leaves silently afterwards.” It wasn’t a knock against Lizzie or her job, but you didn’t like the feeling, when you got home and had to find sleep in your own bed. Even though you had a relationship with him, you still felt lonely. Especially when the sun was rising and nobody was by your side.

“You’re not a whore and you know that”, he argued looking a little concerned.

Then you turned on your back and stared at the ceiling. “No, I’m a Shelby and that is probably worse”, you scoffed.

Now Isaiah was silent and had no witty comeback for that. Maybe, because it was true. If you weren’t part of the family, you could be with anyone, whoever you wanted. Carrying the name Shelby was the only reason, why you had to hide your relationship with Isaiah.

After a while he mumbled: “Okay, stay for a while, but you should be back before they open the shop.” By that time you were already half asleep and yet his words made you smile. He wrapped his arms around you, the little spoon and purred like a cat. Just in this position the both of you fell asleep.

Loud steps were coming near the door, but they wouldn’t wake you up. The screaming of Isaiah’s name did. It was a familiar voice and it took you a couple of minutes to notice, it was your brother Finn who shouted and ran down the hall. Suddenly you were wide awake. You startled up and looked around the room. The sun was already up and shining through the window. Then you saw Isaiah, who was just as frightened as you were.

If Finn came rushing through that door, your secret relationship was no longer secret. “I locked the door last night”, he whispered, which was relieving to you, but still no perfect solution for this problem.

Now Finn arrived at the other side of the door and was knocking on it like crazy. “Isaiah, wake up! Y/N is gone. Nobody can find her and Michael said you were the last one with her in the bar”, your brother yelled. You could hear the panic in his voice, but you couldn’t get caught. Not now.

You stumbled out of the bed and collected your clothes, when you heard Isaiah ask: “What are you going to do? You can’t go out there. He will find out.” And you knew your boyfriend wasn’t concerned about Finn, more about Tommy.

The tension in the room was immense. You had to come up with a plan or your brothers would shoot your lover in front of your eyes.

Suddenly you knew what to do. You pushed the pile of clothing to your chest and squeeze it thigh, when you explained in a lower tone: “I’m gonna hide in the wardrobe and then you open the door and go with Finn away. Afterwards I can come out and then I go to the betting shop and tell the others I have fallen asleep on a bench or something.” It was not the best plan, but yet your only option.

Isaiah nodded and you climbed into the cabinet where he stored his shirt and jackets. The second you entered the small wooden space, you knew it was all going down. Call it intuition, call it divination, call it whatever power Polly owned, but you felt it rushing through your body. He closed the door behind you and then you could hear him stumble into his pants.

Only half clothed he unlocked the door to let Finn in. Isaiah was still sleepy. He wasn’t the morning type of person and before he hadn’t had his breakfast he wasn’t really available. Finn strode up and down. You heard is nervous steps. “Everybody is freaking out right now. Polly thinks somebody kidnapped her or worse. I mean, she has always been unratable in her doings, but this time my sister is really going of the edge. It’s already past lunch and nobody has seen her”, Finn explained: “This morning her bed was empty and I thought I shouldn’t worry, but now I’m afraid I should have said something sooner.”

The cabinet was very uncomfortable and yet you tried not to move or to make a noise, which would cause Finn’s attention. However, being in Isaiah’s position didn’t seem to be pleasant as well. He had to lie to his best friend about the whereabouts of his missing sister, knowing she was sitting right here. Isaiah patted his friends shoulder and said nothing.

Finn didn’t calm down and seemed to be upset, Isaiah wasn’t panicking like him. “C’mon, get dressed. We have to look for her. She might be lying somewhere in the dirt. We shouldn’t waste even more time, standing around.” Then he walked to the closet and opened just the door where you had been hiding.

Butt-naked you fell down to the floor and looked up to your younger brother, who had the same face expression as the one time you told him where the babies were coming from. Some when later you would look back at this moment and would have a good laugh about this, but right now it felt like your world was collapsing.

He should have seen you like this and it took you a whole minute to gather the mental energy to get back up at your feet and greet him like it was the normal thing to do in a situation like this. “Hey, Finny, there I am.”

Your brother froze mid movement and stared at you as if you were the first pink elephant the world has seen or a bear riding a bike. Then he broke the silence. “What?”, he winced. There was no anger in his voice, just total confusion.

Finn looked to Isaiah and then back to you. “You screwed my sister?!”

There was no answer to this question.

“How long?” Finn asked: “How long did you hide that from me?”

You glared over to you boyfriend as if you were asking him for permission to say something. Isaiah signed and nodded. There was no point in denying this anymore. It was over.

Now you had to tell the truth. “A couple of months, maybe a year or so”, you croaked and your voice sounded strange. Like it was not your own and even though you dreamt about finally opening up, it shouldn’t have been like this.

Your brother yelled: “A year?! A whole fucking year? Damn, I should be proud because apparently you two are excellent liars with no moral issues… you two deserve each other.” You heard the disgust and disappointment, when he spoke and it broke your heart. Back then, when the whole thing started you though he might be the only one of your brothers to understand you. How wonderfully wrong you were.

“No”, you said under your breath: “Don’t fucking do this to me. I would have told you, if you wouldn’t have run straight to Tommy after you knew. Everybody knows you can’t keep a secret. So don’t act like it was my fault or my mistake, because it’s not. I would have gladly told everybody, I’m like him very much, but you and Tommy and Arthur and John made it impossible for me to even talk with a guy who is not part of the gang. You can’t turn this around and act like you are the victim in all this.”

It was time for you to stand up for yourself and your decisions… and time for you to get dressed. You didn’t seem as responsible as you were when you were still naked and in front of the closed you have been hiding in. Now you knew how wrong it was to lie and hide your relationship, because it wasn’t their concern. It was your life, your body and your choice. Nobody could take that from you and certainly not your brothers. You weren’t afraid of them. All your life you saw how your brothers treated women and you said nothing about it, but this should change right now.

So you stood there, furious and filled with rage, put on your dress and your shoes and said one last thing, before leaving: “This madness has to end.”

You stormed out of the room- not caring for Isaiah or Finn- and heading for the King of Small Heath to throw him out of his high throne. Your hair was a nest and you smelled like a bar after a dirty old night, when you entered the betting shop. Nobody was there, just the regular family members.

Everybody seemed to be relieved to see you again and then came close to hug you. Ada was right next to the door and the first to greet you. “Oh my god, you’re back, sweetie”, she muttered.

Next was Polly who examined your appearance for cuts and other injuries. Of course you had none, besides the hickeys Isaiah gave you. She tried to take a closer look of your neck, but you pulled away, which caused her to ask: “What happened? Where were you all night?”

Now Tommy was coming up to you. His steps were slow, but fierce and the glare in his eyes was pinching. “Just from the smell I would guess, she was with a guy this night”, he scoffed: “She probably had a lot of fun, but now she should say, who that guy was, so we can take actions.” You knew he was addressing you, even though he didn’t phrase it like that.

“I don’t think, this is your business”, you replied with a grin on your face. You wouldn’t back down. Not this time. “But yes, I was with a guy tonight. So you don’t need to worry. I’m completely fine.”

Your older brother led out a little laugh, pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “Well, well, well, I don’t care what you think. I’m your brother and it’s my job to make sure you’re safe”, he explained: “And now you tell me who he was.” Ah, past tense, a hint of what was going to happen.

You crossed your arms and tiled your head to give him a dismissive look. “Who said it was your job?” was your comeback, but your brother wasn’t remotely impressed. Neither of you would let the other win. You were too stubborn for this gesture of insight.

Others, including Arthur and John, were somehow intimidated by Tommy’s behavior, but not you. Actually, you learned too much from him to take his shit. He taught you to help your head up high and how to outsmart your enemies. Now you could use the same strategies against him.

“Ever since our father left and mom died, you act like you are in charge, but you’re not. We are your siblings, not your pawn, waiting for your command”, you hissed: “I have my own life and I make my own decisions and who I meet shouldn’t concern you.” Slowly your anger grew. It was a boiling feeling in your gut, like you were fueled with fire.

Tommy was getting gleaming red. You had hit the right spot and you knew you would hurt him with your words, but otherwise he wouldn’t understand. The words were stuck in his throat as he killed you with his looks.

Patiently, you waited for his answer. He wouldn’t give you the satisfaction, but silencing your brother was the best thing ever, since he was the reason why you felt miserable lately. “No comeback? No arguments, dear?” You loved to poke his wounds and you did it with a huge smile on your face.

“As if you would listen to me… You even said it yourself. You wouldn’t take my advice”, he responded and bid his lip. “But I don’t need to talk to you to teach you a lesson. You’re too young to fuck around town and I’m going to find the bastard who did this and kill him.”

The door was opened behind you and soon Finn entered the room. You gave your little brother the death glare you were known for. He shouldn’t get the idea he was allowed to talk about what he found out.

You should be raging right now, but all you could do was laugh. His empty threats weren’t as daunting as he thought. With nothing but spite you whistled: “I would love to see you try. I kept this a secret for over a year now and you noticed nothing. And now I can wait another year for you to find him… or I could run away… whatever you prefer.”

Now you’re pushing your luck. Finn could ruin everything, if he just said one wrong word. The palms of your hands were sweaty. It was a dangerous game you played there, but it was not like you could back out of it now. This was road of no return.

Tommy seemed to be more surprised than fuming, when he asked: “You slept with some geezers for a year now?” He respected your talent to keep it under the radar. Everybody who could shirk his rules deserved acknowledgement for putting up with this risk. Maybe he was finally realizing how much you had grown. You weren’t his little kitten anymore.

“No, not geezers, just one guy”, you corrected him: “But yes, that is true.”

You watched Tommy as he walked around the table, heading for the whiskey, while he nodded understandingly. “Mh, so you would say it’s love?”

A sign came from your lips. You already knew the answer, but you weren’t so sure, if you should say this out loud. After all, you didn’t even have a proper talk about this with Isaiah. Silence was filling the room, while you calculated your risks. If you said, you loved him and Isaiah wasn’t as serious about the relationship, you would look like an idiot. Good for you, he didn’t come to the betting shop to witness the fight between you and your brother. Finally you decided to tell everybody: “Yes, I do.”

“Good”, Tommy mumbled while he poured his whiskey: “Then you should have my blessing. Just give us the name now.” He took a sip and seemed to be amused by your embarrassment.

Talking about Isaiah, while he wasn’t present, was weird, but you knew why he stayed in the comfort of his own room. You weren’t mad at him for not running after you. This was your fight and not his. And after all your brothers were a little scary, when it comes to stuff like this.

But you had Tommy’s word now and nothing should happen to your man. You shrugged and rolled with your eyes. The fuss they made about this was still annoying.

Ada patted your shoulder and encouraged you to speak. “Do we know him?” The answer was yes, but it was also the reason, why you struggled to say it out loud.

Even John chimed in and kept pushing: “Yeah, what’s up with this fella?” He was smiling to let you know the mood had changed. Nobody was against you anymore.

“It’s…”, you started and fumbled for the seam of your dress: “It’s Isaiah.”

At first it was dead silence, while the others processed the information, then Arthur and John burst out in laughter. Finn seemed to be relieved, because he would have hated it to keep a secret like this. Your older sister was hugging you a little too tight and even Polly was smiling.

Tommy had a smug on his face when he muttered: “If that’s the case, then you should have your happiness.”

“Isaiah is a fine fella. You will be alright”, hummed Arthur. Apparently everybody was happy with your choice. You just had to stand up for yourself.

It felt like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders and then you could laugh about it too. But suddenly you remember that Isaiah was still waiting for his death in his room. “I should go and let him of the hook”, you fluted and already went to the door when you heard Tommy said: “Don’t get pregnant or he has to marry you.”

#peaky blinders #peaky fucking blinders #peaky #peaky blinder fanfic #isiah jesus #isaiah jesus #daryl mccormack #peaky fookin blinders #tommy shelby #shelby sister #isiah x reader #isiah x you #fanfic #peaky blinders x sister!reader #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders x you #peaky blinders x y/n

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 3 years ago

Text

COSMIC - S1:E2; Chapter Two, The Weirdo On Maple Street - [Pt. 1]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘠/𝘯, 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴, 𝘋𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'�� 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

The booming clap of thunder and the steady drumming of rain hitting the windows can be heard. The poor girl sat before us, shaking, her breath heavy and ragged. She was now wearing Mike's jacket; he had given it to her when we found her shivering in the rain. The four of us stood in front of her, gazing at her in awe and bewilderment. Lucas and Mike were to my right, Dustin on my left. Mike finally broke the silence.

"Is there a number we can call for your parents?"

"Where's your hair? Do you have cancer?"

"Dustin," I warn. Although, I'd be lying if I said it hadn't crossed my mind.

Before I can stop them, the boys continue to ask her all sorts of questions without even giving her a chance to answer.

"Did you run away?"

"Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"Is that blood?" Lucas slowly extends his arm towards the girl's face; before I can stop him, Mike beats me to it and smacks his arm away.

"Stop it! You're freaking her out!"

"She's freaking me out!"

"I bet she's deaf." Dustin then turns to look at the girl and quickly claps his hands in her face and she flinches back, clearly even more frightened, if that is at all possible.

"Not deaf." He says weakly, shrugging his shoulders.

I draw the line there. "Dustin, seriously? Do you not hear yourself? How would you feel in her position, huh?"

"Y/n's right, okay? Enough, both of you." Mike defended me and looked to Dustin and Lucas as he spoke. "She's just scared and cold." He pointed in the girl's direction as he said this.

Hearing him say that made me realize she was still in nothing but a soaking wet t-shirt and Mike's jacket. I turn to Mike. "We should probably get her some fresh clothes. Do you have any down here?" I ask.

Mike nods and heads towards a laundry basket across the room. I look back at the girl and I see her close her eyes and flinch, shrinking into herself a little as another clap of thunder boomed from outside. I cautiously took a step around to the side of the coffee table and took a seat on the edge so I was near her eye level but not so close I was invading her space.

"Hey, it's okay," I try, my voice gentle. "It's just thunder. You're gonna be okay. You're safe now."

I send her a warm, reassuring smile. She says nothing, but I swear I see gratitude in her eyes.

Mike returns with some fresh clothes.

"Here, these are clean. Okay?" She cautiously takes the clothes from him and looks at them. After a moment she brings them to her face and softly rubs them on her cheek. My sympathy for her grows stronger, who knows how long it has been since she's had a proper set of clothes. She sets them aside and shrugs Mike's jacket off of her shoulders. She rises to her feet, reaching for the bottom of the t-shirt she was wearing, clearly about to undress in front of us.

"No, no, no!" We all yell.

I jump to my feet in surprise, ripping my gaze away in panic while also attempting to reach for her hands to keep them in place. Mike tries to do the same, but he's a bit more shaken up. Meanwhile, Dustin and Lucas began freaking out, their heads turned so as to not see anything. Dustin could not stop saying, "Oh, my God!"

"See over there?" Mike points to the bathroom just across the room. "That's the bathroom. Privacy. Get it?" He asks. The girl looks ashamed and confused. She looks to the bathroom and then to me, her eyes pleading. I can tell she's afraid to be alone. I take a quick, deep breath and look at her. "You... want me in there with you?" I ask gently.

She nods and we are all surprised to hear her speak. "Yes."

"Really? Umm," I look to the guys in shock who all wear the same expression as the scene unfolds. Panicking, but also realizing by now she doesn't understand why I would be, I look back to her only to find fear in her eyes and I feel a wave of guilt. A sigh escapes and I nod. "Yeah, uh, okay. I can do that, but, you're still gonna need some privacy, okay?" I grab her clothes off the couch and I lead her to the bathroom and she looks around in curiosity.

I gesture around the bathroom awkwardly, not really knowing what to do.

"Here, I'm not gonna look, but we should close this so they don't accidentally see anything. Okay?" I gesture to the door.

Panic flooded her features, and for the first time since we found her she wore an expression of absolute certainty, speaking for the second time tonight. "No."

"Hey, its okay, it's just so that you can change in privacy. You know, so they don't accidentally see you changing? How about we close it most of the way? That way you have privacy, but you know you can still get out. Does that sound good?" She hesitates then nods her head slightly. I push the door in so it's cracked open.

I handed her Mike's spare set of clothes, doing my best to offer a small smile. "Alright, here you go,"

For a moment I think, just maybe it's okay to slip out and let her change. But then I see the look in here eyes, and it hits truly me why it's so important to her someone stays.

My smile feels a little more genuine now and it almost seems to put her at ease, just a little. "Don't worry, I'll stay."

I cross over to the other side of the bathroom, taking a seat on the closed lid of the toilet with my back turned to her. For extra measure, I even clamped my hand over my eyes, still trying to figure out my day took such a weird turn. I can her start to move around and figure she's started changing, and briefly I think of how scared she looked when the thunder rumbled.

It reminded me of how bad thunder used to scare me as kid; like really bad, and how Mom helped me through it. Even kept me company until I fell asleep, and it all made a little more sense why she asked me. It was the same reason I recognized the look in her eyes almost at once; Anxiety and genuine fear. Like I did when I was a kid, I needed that company around just to know I wasn't alone.

It only makes my mind race with a million different questions but, they're all silenced when I hear voices coming from the other room.

"This is mental." It was Dustin.

"At least she can talk." Mike defended.

"She said 'no' and 'yes.' Your three-year-old sister says more." Lucas counters. I bite my lip, trying not to yell at Lucas. If he heard her say 'no' to me from the bathroom, that obviously means that we can hear him. As much as I love those guys, they can be really insensitive.

"She tried to get naked." Dustin argued."She brought Y/n in there with her!"

I can feel my face heat up and I wish I could melt into a puddle where I sit. At least that way they could just flush me and be done with it.

"It's not like that! She's just scared," Mike defended.

"There's something seriously wrong with her. Like, wrong in the head." Said Lucas.

"She, just went like..." and then I could barely make out the muffled sound of something falling.

"I bet she escaped from Pennhurst."

"From where?" Mike sounded just as exasperated as I was feeling.

"The nuthouse in Kerley County."

"You got a lot of family there?"

"Bite me."

"Seriously though, think about it. That would explain her shaved hair and why she's so crazy."

"Why she went like..."

"She's an escapee is the point. She's probably a psycho."

"Like Michael Myers."

"Exactly! We should've never brought her here."

"So you just wanted to leave her out in that storm?"

"Yes! We went out to find Will, not another problem."

"I think we should tell your mom." Dustin offers.

"I second that."

"Who's crazy now?"

"How is that crazy?"

"'Cause, we weren't supposed to be out tonight, remember?"

"So?"

"So if I tell my mom and she tells your mom and your mom..."

"Oh, man."

"Our houses become Alcatraz."

"Exactly. We'll never find Will."

There's a brief silence, and I think about everything I just heard. Mike had a pretty good point. And I don't blame Lucas for being skeptical, I just wish he wouldn't be so harsh sometimes. If I can hear their conversation, that means she can. I can't imagine what she must be going through right now.

"All right, here's the plan. She sleeps here tonight."

"You're letting a girl --"

"Just listen! In the morning, she sneaks around my house, goes to the front door and rings my doorbell. My mom will answer and know exactly what to do. She'll send her back to Pennhurst or wherever she comes from. We'll be totally in the clear. And tomorrow night, we go back out. And this time, we find Will."

I feel a light tap on my shoulder and I turn around to see the girl had changed. She had sad look on her face and I don't blame her at all.

"Feeling better?" I ask. She meets my eyes for a brief moment and nods, looking back down at her feet.

I sigh and lower my voice into a whisper, trying to undo all the damage the boys just unknowingly caused. "Hey, I'm sorry they said all those things. You'll be in good hands here with that boy Mike; the guy who gave you the clothes, he's really nice, and it sounds like you'll be staying with him."

I stood up, eyeing the door and my friends who I could barely see through the slat we left open and I turned back to her.

"By the way... You don't have to answer any of those questions if you're not ready. That was unfair of them to do that. If you ever need anything... or someone to talk to, even after we get everything sorted out, well, I'm here." I shrug, giving her a reassuring smile before opening the door, leading her out of the bathroom.

Lucas and Dustin were standing at the bottom of the stairs, ready to head out. I follow their gaze to find Mike had made a small fort for the girl.

Mike was helping the girl get settled inside. "Here you go. This is my sleeping bag."

"You really think she's psycho?" Dustin whispered.

"Wouldn't want her in my house." Before Lucas could head up the stairs I spoke up.

"We heard everything."

Lucas and Dustin stopped and looked at me, worried.

"What?"

"All those nasty things you were saying back there, we heard every word. She heard every word... Just go. Dustin, I'll catch up in a few minutes. Bye." I threw them a flat, angry look as I shook my head and walked away. As I made my way over to the fort I took note of the silence behind me, followed by reluctant footsteps up the stairs.

"Hey, um, I never asked your name." Mike said trying to make conversation. I kneeled down next to Mike.

The girl looks at us both, then without saying anything, she pulls up her left sleeve to reveal a tattoo on the inside of her wrist. It read '011'. My eyes widen in shock.

"Woah," I can't help but gasp.

"Is that real?" Mike asks excitedly as he reaches over to touch the tattoo. She quickly retracts her arm and looks at Mike. There's an awkward silence apart from the booming thunder outside.

"Sorry, I've just... never seen a kid with a tattoo before." He apologized sheepishly.

"Can I ask what it means?" I say.

She looks at me and then points a finger towards herself.

"So, that's your name? Eleven?" I confirm.

She nods her head and then looks down at her lap.

"Eleven. Okay." Mike says, perking up. "Um, well, my name's Mike. Short for Michael, and this is my friend Y/n. He's Dustin's brother." Eleven looks over at me and I smile politely, giving her a small wave.

"Maybe we can call you 'El.' Short for Eleven." Mike offers. She nods her head in agreement. There's a silence and I can tell Mike likes her already.

"Um, well, okay," I say, trying to break the silence. "El, it was nice meeting you. And, like I said, if you need anything at all, I'm here. And so is Mikey here, of course," I say, looking over at Mike, giving him a knowing look, a smirk on my face. "Unfortunately, I have to head home so, I'll see you guys later."

I smile and grab my jacket. As i head for the stairs, I turn to both of them and send them a little wave. "Bye!"

Mide nods at me, the girl, El watching curiously as I go. That's the last I see of them as I dissapear up the steps.

I could hear Mike stuttering a 'goodnight' to El as I make it to the top. Clearly, I caught him off guard. I smile to myself, thinking.

'Ohh, he has so got it bad.'

I parked my bike in its usual spot and made it through the front door quiet enough so my mom won't hear.

Most of the lights were turned off, my mom must have gone to bed already just as I suspected. I heard an obnoxious meowing near my feet and look down to see Mews. I kneel down and pet this attention starved cat knowing that's the only way she will ever quiet down. I don't know how she can be attention starved when Mom doted on her as much as she does.

Mews lets out a deep purr and leans into my hand as I give her head a few scratches. I take off my shoes and set them by the front door before sneaking back into my room.

I flip on the light switch and stare at my slightly messy room and sigh at the events of today. I close my door so I can change into my pj's and tidy up a bit. Once I'm done I open my door so it's ajar, knowing that Mews likes to come and go throughout the house as she pleases. I sit down on the side of my bed and sigh heavily.

My eyes are fixed on the floor, particularly the different shadows that were being cast from my lamp on my bedside table as my thoughts wandered back to the fruitless efforts of tonight.

The stress and constant worrying have taken its toll on me. It breaks my heart to know that my best friend is somewhere out there lost and probably hurt. I guess a big part of me was sure that we were going to find Will in those woods out by Mirkwood tonight. I should have known better.

I feel something on my leg and I look down to see tear stains on my pajama bottoms. I hadn't even realized I had started crying. I sniffle, wiping my nose and grab the stuffed duck that was sitting on my bed. Will had won it for me. I give it a tight hug, a small smile creeps its way onto my face at the memory.

- 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

It was the first Saturday of summer vacation and the five of us had gone to the arcade for a much-deserved celebration. We all filed into the arcade, I followed Mike, Dustin, and Lucas as we made our way to Dustin's favorite game Dig Dug, Will and I side by side, buzzing with the excitement of the new summer ahead of us.

There was a brief moment of comfortable silence as we looked around the arcade. We passed by all the familiar games including the infamous claw game. I spare a glance at its contents and notice an adorable bright yellow duck perched in the front of the glass.

I smile and point at the stuffed duck. "Oh! That duck is so cute!" I admired it for a brief moment and catch up with Dustin, assuming Will is still next to me.

( hats off to the folk who understand this reference!! 😎 )

About twenty minutes later I had just beaten Mike's high score on Pac Man. All the boys watched over my shoulder and I couldn't help but cheer out. "Ha! Say, Mike, how does my dust taste?"

"Oh, whatever. You only beat me by," he leans over my shoulder to look at my score. "Holy crap! 1300 points?! Alright, well done." He sighs.

"Hey Will, you owe me 5 bucks!" I turn to my friend only to not see him there. I look around in confusion.

"Wait, guys, where is Will?"

They all shrug.

"I don't know, the last time I saw him he was with you. When we got here." Lucas shrugged.

I look around until I spot the familiar bowl cut by the claw machine. He must have won something since he was leaning down to grab some prize from the machine. I quickly grab my tickets and abandon the machine and meet him by the claw, he made eye contact with me and quickly put his hands behind his back.

"Hey, man. Where have you been? You just missed it. I just annihilated Mike in Pac Man. It was awesome!"

"I, um... Well, I, uh," he scratched the back of his head awkwardly as he stammered.

I breathed out a soft laugh. "Will, it's fine, you're not on trial or anything."

"Well I noticed you seemed to really like that duck and it seemed easy enough, and um, and so yeah, I played a couple rounds and, well here." His words sort of spilled out of his mouth and he quickly pulled out his hand from behind his back and handed me the cute little stuffed duck from earlier. A huge, beaming smile finds it's way onto my face as I take the duck from him.

"Oh, wow!" I gasped as I took the duck from him. "That's awesome, thank you! I love it! Aww, it's so cute!" I gave the duck a big squeeze and held it under my arm.

"Yeah, uh no problem. So you said you beat Mike's score? That's great! By how much?" He seems more relaxed now that he's changed the subject.

"You'll never believe it, 1300 points!" I said smugly.

"No way! Y/n, that's awesome!" He gave me a big smile.

"I know right? Anyways, come on, let's hit up Space Invaders. We've got more records to beat." I motioned towards the machine, but Will doesn't move. His smile only falters. "What's wrong Byers? Come on, we better hurry before someone else gets to it." I give him a smile, silently urging him to come along.

"Yeah, umm about that... I don't have any money left. I um, I kinda spent it all on the claw." He said sheepishly.

"What?" I stare in disbelief. I can't believe he would do that.

"I'm sorry, I just thought that—" he stammered.

"No, Will, hey! I'm not mad!" I soothe as I reach out and put a hand on his shoulder to calm him.

"And please, don't be sorry. If anything, I'm sorry. You spent all your money just to get this duck. I know you guys are tight on money right now, and well, I—" I stopped, completely appalled at his actions. "Thank you. That means so much to me. You're amazing." I smile and pull him in for a hug.

The hug lingers for a few moments longer than necessary but not enough to make it too awkward. He was hesitant to let go it seemed. I finally broke the hug and gave him another big grin.

"Come on, I am playing Space Invaders with my favorite person, whether he likes it or not. I've still got a buttload of coins."

"But, you don't have to do that."

"You didn't have to spend all your money getting the duck but you did anyway." I point out. He smiles at this.

"Besides," I continued. "You know me, I'd feel way too guilty if I didn't repay you in some way for the duck. This way, we'll be even. What do you say?" I playfully elbow him.

A big grin breaks out on his face. "Yeah okay, cool. Thanks."

- 𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

I smile fondly as I give the ever so slightly worn duck a squeeze. It quickly became one of my favorite things. A quiet sob escapes my lips as I hug the duck.

"Y/n?" My head shot up to my door to see Dustin poking his head in my room, concern etched on his face.

I sniffle and quickly wipe my nose with the back of my hand as I attempt to stop my sobs.

"Sorry," I mumble, figuring I'd annoyed him.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" Dustin asks worriedly, he takes a seat next to me, not before closing the door behind him.

"I'm sorry, I just," I am unable to hold back another sob, I lean into my brother's shoulder. He wraps an arm around my shoulder as he tries to comfort me.

"Seriously, are you okay? What's the matter?"

"I miss him," I wail. I can feel Dustin's body stiffen for a brief moment at the mention of Will. He sighs and runs his hand up and down my shoulder, trying to comfort me.

"I know," his voice sounds hoarse, like he's trying not to cry. "I miss him too."

"What if, he doesn't come back?" I choke on my sobs.

"You shouldn't talk like that. We'll find him. You know him, he's good at hiding. If something did get him, you just know he's hiding. That's why the clever bastard never bites it in our campaigns, even when we do."

I breathe out a soft chuckle at this. Dustin has a point. It seems no matter what kind of trouble he gets into during our campaigns, he always seems to find a way out. It's become a running joke in our party.

My smile falters. "But what if..."

"Y/n, you can't keep doing this to yourself. No more 'what ifs' it's not healthy, and—"

"Well, I can't help it, Dustin!" I snap, cutting him off. "I just... I just can't. You don't understand. You think I like it when my brain won't stop plaguing me with these god awful scenarios that gnaw at me every second? I can't help it, it's so draining! Why do you think it takes so long to come down from my anxiety attacks?"

My eyes are welling up again and my vision has become blurry. All I can do is look down back at the ground.

Dustin only sighs. "I'm sorry. I had no idea."

I sniffle and sigh. "I'm sorry too. It just gets so frustrating not being able to communicate my feelings with people who don't deal with anxiety like I do."

"I just... I just hope he's okay." Hot tears slide down my face as I stare at the wall. I heard a sniffle come from Dustin. We stayed like that for quite some time, longing for our friend.

______________

A//N: I put this in because I think it's important that I share this with you all. I don't ever see any fics with a reader with an anxiety disorder and I thought it was important that I do because as someone who struggles with anxiety and someone who has anxiety attacks all the time, I often feel disconnected from the story, anyway I thought that I should shed some light on the subject as well as let readers with anxiety disorders feel included and represented as well as let you know YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOUR DISORDER DOES NOT DEFINE YOU. PLEASE DM ME (A LIVING BREATHING PERSON WITH AN ANXIETY DISORDER) IF ANY OF YOU WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO STRUGGLES WITH THIS AND/OR YOU WANT TO ASK QUESTIONS TO LEARN MORE.

185 notes · View notes

cherrybracelets · 4 years ago

Text

as the world caves in

masterlist | request

spencer reid x bau agent!reader

song inspo: as the world caves in - matt maltese (i highly recommend listening to this before or during reading to fully understand the fic)

summary: you’ve worked in the bau for almost a year now, but this is your toughest case to date. when the unsub puts you and spencer in a near death situation, the complex feeling of mortality causes you to bear your souls to one another

word count: 6k | warnings: no smut but it is typical criminal minds violence, plot centers around reader being held hostage by an unsub so there is tying up, reader getting hurt, etc. pls be cautious when reading if that makes you uncomfortable

Your head was pounding, the sound of phones ringing and private chatter ringing through your ears. You shakily poured a cup of coffee, closing your eyes momentarily as you tried to wake yourself up. You glanced at the clock, seeing that it was barely five in the morning. You yawned obnoxiously, assuming no one was around you. But when you heard a quiet snicker from behind, you knew immediately you were not alone. You spun around quickly to see Emily, waving as she set her bag down on her desk.

“Pretty early to be called in. Must be important,” she concurred, pouring herself a cup of stale FBI coffee as well.

“Do you ever get used to it?” You groaned, taking a long swig of the cheap coffee. You had doused it with milk and sugar to make it consumable, but it still left a nasty taste in your mouth with each sip. You knew you wouldn’t make it without caffeine, though, so you stomached it down.

“I’ve been here… five years, now? I can assure you it doesn't get easier,” she laughed. You had missed her laugh, when she was gone. She had become a wonderful mentor to you, and when you thought you lost her, you were shattered. Having her back has been enough to get you through the tough cases, which seemed to be escalating with each one.

“You know, next week is my one year anniversary with the BAU,” you smiled, excited of your first milestone with the team. The BAU was an exceptionally hard job, and many people didn’t make it as long as you had. It was something to be proud of.

“You’re kidding! Congratulations, (Y/N).”

“Thank you!”

You saw Hotch and Derek walk in out of the corner of your eye, deep in conversation. You were sure it was an important one, the look on Hotch’s face confirming your suspicions. They walked straight to the conference room, not even looking up to notice you and Emily. You gave Emily a look, and you were both thinking the same thing. ‘We better get our asses in there.’

You followed Emily into the room, Garcia getting the case ready to present. The rest of the team filtered in over the next few minutes, riddled with dark circles, cups of coffee and worry. There wasn’t much small talk made, everyone too out of it to pretend to talk about what they did last weekend.

“Good morning everyone, thanks for coming in so early,” Hotch addressed, standing up as he welcomed everyone. “We’ve got a bit of a weird case, today. Garcia, why don’t you go ahead and present.”

“Okay, my loves. This is a bit of a weird one, so strap in to keep up with me. A 21 year old female, Emily Davies, was abducted yesterday morning from the parking lot in her apartment complex. Now, the lot did have security cameras, but the unsub cut the internet cable and they can’t download the video until the can fix the wire.”’

“He’s smart, probably knew it would slow us down. And shows he has knowledge in wiring and electrics.” Derek added.

“Exactly. The police believe we should have the footage by the time we land. Now here’s where it gets weird. Two hours after she was abducted, there was a shooting at a gas station about 30 miles outside of the city, off I75. Three dead, including the worker. No cameras there, unfortunately.”

“How do we know it’s the unsub?” You questioned, failing to see the connection between the two crimes.

“Ah, my darling, if there wasn’t a connection we wouldn’t be called in. Our unsub left a note at this crime scene. It read, ‘They were going to take her. I couldn’t let them take her. She is mine, we are in love. Please, leave us be.’” Garcia then pulled up photos of the crime scene and the note on the monitor.

“These are clean shots, straight to the head, execution style,” Reid said, studying the photos on the screen.

“He knows how to use a gun, that’s for sure.” Rossi added.

“The 911 call was made by a customer who walked in to see the carnage about a half hour after the unsub left. They believe he is continuing to drive North, but we currently have no idea what him or his car look like.”

“If he didn’t kill again, he most likely stopped somewhere. He may be lowing low in a roadside motel to keep us off his trail,” Reid said.

“The gas station seemed unplanned. The abduction was thorough, leaving no evidence. But this scene is sloppy, and rushed. They must’ve seen Emily and panicked, and he shot em. This was never part of the plan, and now he’s freaking out.”

“That’s a good point, Emily’s face is all over the news now. He’d need a place to rest for a bit until he can come up with the rest of his plan. How exactly did people discover that Emily was missing?” You asked, curious about the rest of the unsubs plan.

“Well, it was actually kind of a fluke, but very helpful for us. Her boyfriend, Michael Adams, discovered she was gone when he came home early from work. He wasn’t supposed to be home for another six hours, but something had happened and they sent him home. He called 911 when he realized her phone, keys, and bag were all at home but she was nowhere to be found. They aren’t sure exactly what time she went missing, but at that point Michael had only been gone for two hours.”

“This guy had to have been stalking her. He knew to take her on a day she’d be alone for hours, he knew to cut the wires for the security cameras… this was meticulously planned,” Derek responded.

“Except what he didn’t plan for was the boyfriend getting home early, and Emily’s face plastered everywhere. He thought he’d have more time to get away,” JJ added.

“If he truly doesn’t want to be separated from her, it’s only a matter of time before he kills again. Anybody that gets in their way will die, if we don’t stop him. Wheels up in thirty.” Hotch instructed, dismissing you all as you separated to prepare for another trip.

You lingered in the conference room for a moment, staring at the photos on the monitor. An uncomfortable feeling floated through you, chills up your spine as you stared at the crime scene. It was far tamer than most things you’d seen during your time here, but something about it made you uneasy. Spencer had noticed you staying back, and he stayed in the room as well. Once everyone cleared out, he cleared his throat to let you know he was there. You turned to him, not sure if you should tell him how you felt or not. Was it weak to say you were nervous?

“You okay?” He asked calmly, his eyes avoiding yours as he waited for your answer.

“I… just have a bad feeling about this case. Does that ever happen to you?”

“Mmm, yes.” He chuckled slightly, running a hand through his hair. “And usually, I’m right.”

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

The plane landed in Cincinnati only a few hours later, cars awaiting to take you to the police station upon arrival. You were grateful to hear that they were able to pull the security footage from the lot Emily was abducted, and it was ready to be viewed when you arrived at the station.

You got in a car with Derek and Spencer, a duo that you usually tried to avoid. Derek always joked with you and Spencer that the two of you had a crush on each other. Although it was slightly true on your part, and your heart did race every time Spencer walked into a room, it was embarrassing to see Spencer so confidently deny any feelings for you.

But, Hotch sent the three of you to the station, instructing you to study the security tapes. The rest of them were going to talk to the boyfriend and visit the crime scene. You sat awkwardly in the back seat, trying to keep quiet, not wanting to say anything that would entice Derek.

“Judging by the way he worded this note, our unsub is most definitely in love with Emily. Do you think she knew him?” Spencer turned to you, and then to Derek, waiting for someone to respond.

“It’s impossible to say. There was no sign of forced entry in the apartment.” Derek responded.

“They think she was taking her trash out when she was abducted. Explains why she left all of her things inside, and the door was unlocked,” you added, wanting to be a part of the conversation. Although it had been almost a year, you still felt like you had to constantly prove yourself when you were with them.

“Even if she knew him, you wouldn’t get in someone's car without your phone, or wallet. He had to have had a weapon,” Derek said.

“The gun he used to kill everyone in the gas station, probably,” Spencer muttered. You all stayed silent for the rest of the drive, your brain taking a quiet moment to think through the details of the case.

The police station wasn’t too far from the airport, and you got there pretty quickly. You always felt so small in the police stations, usually dealing with male detectives or sheriffs or cops. You felt like you’d drown in testosterone, and everyone would be so busy in a dick measuring contest that they couldn’t save you. As you walked into the station, you were greeted by yet again another male detective who reeked of desperation and Viagra.

“Hi, I’m Detective Elijah Guthrie. Thank you so much for coming.” He shook all of your hands, welcoming you into his station.

“Where do you have the security tapes set up?” Reid asked quickly, realizing the urgency of this case, and that we didn't have time for small talk.

“Conference room. Everything you said you needed is set up there, as well.”

“Awesome, we should go get started, then,” Derek smiled, leading the three of you into the room.

You all sat down and watched the tapes, replaying them over and over to catch every detail that you could. Luckily, the unsub cut the wires after he took the girl. It seemed sloppy, on his end. He had to know eventually that we’d get the footage. But he was smart enough to make sure his face was nowhere in view. Although, his car was still in view, and you were able to pull a plate number.

“Garcia, baby girl, can you hear me?”

“Loud and clear. What can I do for you, my sweets?”

“Run a plate for us. Ohio plates, number EUE 8561.”

“Of course, give me uno momento....” You could hear the sound of Garcia typing away, finding the mysterious man. In all honesty, you weren’t sure if any of these cases would get solved without her.

“Alright, I got your man. 24 year old Jacob Lane.” “Are we sure our unsub didn’t just steal this guy’s car?”

“Good point, Garcia check to see if Jacob has any connection to Emily.”

“Gotcha… oh, man. Looks like he grew up in the same town that she did.”

“Well, that’s suspicious,” Derek responded, raising his eyebrows. “Alright, thanks baby. Try and dig up some more on this guy.” He hung up the phone, staring at the paused video in front of him.

“(Y/N), you call Hotch and give him the update. There’s a good chance this guy’s our unsub. Reid, call JJ and have her ask the boyfriend if they knew this guy.” You and Reid both looked at each other and nodded, standing up and walking into the hallway to complete your tasks. You dialed Hotch’s number swiftly, listening to the ringing as you awaited him to answer.

“Hotchner,” he answered, sternly.

“Hey, it’s me. I think we got our guy- Jacob Lane. The car that Emily got into was registered to him, and he grew up in the same town as her. Garcia is digging up some more info, and Reid is on the phone with JJ, gonna see what we can get from the boyfriend.”

“Alright, well we’ve just been informed there was another shooting. This time at a motel not too far from the gas station. We’re gonna head there, now.”

“How many, this time?” You asked, dreading the answer.

“Six. Doesn’t look like anybody made it out.”

You stayed silent, your head spinning as you thought of six more dead bodies, six more grieving families.

“Thanks, Hotch.” You hung up your phone, walking back towards Reid and Derek.

“Detective Guthrie just told me there’s been another shooting,” Derek said to you, unaware if you had been informed.

“Yeah, Hotch just told me. We have to get this guy before he does this again.”

“Unfortunately, most cases with spree killers like this end in hostage situations, and eventually suicide by cop. Spree killers' motivations are usually very similar.” Reid stated, his voice emotionless as he rattled off his facts. He was obviously right, and you felt sick as you thought of standing face to face with this man,

“I’m gonna go talk to Emily’s parents, see if they knew anything about Jacob. You guys stay in here and go over everything we have so far, see if we missed anything.”

“Alright. Thanks, Derek.”

He left the room quietly, walking out to find the family. You started looking over the video again, straining your eyes to see if you could make out any overlooked details. But it was the same every time, there was nothing new to report. You were angry, not feeling any closer to catching this guy.

“What do you make of this?” You asked Spencer, hoping his genius brain would come up with an explanation yours couldn’t.

“He loves a girl, tries to take her away with him, gets caught and panics, starts killing anybody that calls him out. It’s pretty straight forward. Although, the way he’s killing them is unique. The actual crime seems rushed and panicked, but the killings themselves and calm and exact. One shot, the same place. It’s too… perfect.”

“He’s killed before,” you concluded, feeling your heart racing as you thought of more victims at the hand of Jacob.

“Yes, but most likely in the military. These are execution style deaths. This M.O. is very specific to military personnel.”

“And you would be correct, boy genius,” Garcia shouted through the speaker on the desk, her voice scaring you slightly. “Jacob Lane was in the Air Force. He was deployed once to Iraq, he got back about six months and was recently relocated to Cincinnati.”

“So something must’ve happened between Emily and Jacob in the past, and when he moved back and saw her again, it must’ve been the trigger. Topped with PTSD, he could’ve easily snapped.”

“What exactly did he do in Iraq?”

“Ah, that is classified information, according to the US government. But no worries, nothing is too classified for me. Our buddy Jacob executed war criminals during his time overseas.”

“Well, that explains the M.O.,” you chuckled, running a hand through your hair, shaking your head in disgust.

“Other than that, he had a relatively normal life. Average in school, normal family. He bounced around colleges a bit before deciding to enlist, but there’s no red flags.”

“Could you find any other link between him and Emily?”

“Well, that’s the other thing. Jacob deleted all of his social media accounts when he got back from Iraq. Twitter, Instagram… everything, gone. But, just because he deleted it does not mean the record doesn’t exist somewhere. I am currently trying to unlock all of his accounts and see if I can find anything, but it’ll take a bit.”

“Alright, Garcia, call us if you get anything. Thank you,” you replied, disconnecting the call. Spencer had stepped away for a moment, answering his phone.

“If this guy had a perfectly normal life, why is he doing this?” You asked, your nails digging into your palms in frustration.

“The military… doing what he did… it could mess a lot of normal people up. Plus, there may be more to the story than we know.”

“Yeah, there is. Listen to this,” Spencer said, walking into the room and putting his phone on speaker.

“Hey, it’s me,” JJ said, her voice flowing softly through the phone. “So we talked to the boyfriend, and there is a long history between Emily and Jacob. They met when she was 18, and they were both dating different people. They had apparently had an affair of sorts, though, leading Jacob to break up with his girlfriend for her. But apparently Emily decided to stay with her boyfriend and ditch Jacob. That’s when he joined the military. Before he left for training camp, Emily’s boyfriend committed suicide. Blamed Emily and Jacob for ruining his life.”

“Jesus…” you muttered under her breath.

“Well, it gets more interesting. Emily picked up and moved to Florida, after that, transferring to a college down there. She was apparently trying to start over. Her and Jacob didn’t talk for two years, but he was relocated to the same town she was in, and they met up again. They started dating, and that’s when he got deployed. About a month after he left, Emily claimed he started acting really weird, to the point where it was scaring her. She broke up with him and blocked him on all social media.”

“The boyfriend knew all of this?”

“She told him because apparently she was afraid of Jacob. She told her boyfriend that if something ever happened to her, she was sure it was Jacob.”

“Why wouldn’t he have mentioned something sooner?”

“He didn’t think it was a big deal. Plus, until two weeks ago, he was living in Florida.”

“Exactly. And he got moved here, found out Emily was here and had a boyfriend, and that was probably the trigger.”

“What I don’t understand is how Emily just… dropped him? She was clearly terrified of him, what could he have possibly done to give her that reaction?”

“He could have told her what he was doing down there. That job is not for someone with a soft heart. She probably couldn’t stomach the thought of being with a man who…” You couldn’t finish your sentence, your mouth choking up your words as they tried to come up.

“We need to make a statement to the press. The public needs to know who to look for.”

“I’ll call the media and put together a press conference. I’ll see you guys soon.” JJ hung up, and Spencer put his phone away. The three of you stayed silent for a moment, staring at each other in awe as your minds wrapped around the information. Part of you felt bad for him. He joined the military to get away, and they stuck him in a job that ruined his humanity. And the girl you love turns away from you when you need her most…

“The hardest part of the job is not to feel bad for the unsubs,” you laughed, your mouth dry and your forehead sweating as you felt more and more anxious about the future of this case.

“It’s refreshing, actually. To see someone else with enough empathy to feel for someone who has done so many bad things. It’s a sign of a beautiful heart,” Spencer said, his eyes meeting yours as he spoke. You smiled at him, redness creeping up your cheeks as you felt your nerves tingling at his words.

“Oh, I’m sure Spencer thinks about your beautiful heart all the time, (Y/N),” Derek teased, causing Spencer to blush as well, and quickly dart his eyes away from you.

“No… c’mon Derek. Why do you have to turn everything into this? Can’t I just be nice to her!” Spencer groaned, pushing Derek slightly on the arm in frustration.

“We’ve got a problem,” Det. Guthrie yelled, bursting through the door of the conference room and, thankfully, interrupting Derek.

“What’s wrong?”

“Emily escaped. She just walked into the police station.”

“How is that a problem?”

“Because Jacob just shot up another place. A diner, this time. We just got the call a minute ago. We’re only a few minutes away. He must’ve come back to the city after Emily got away.”

“(Y/N), you and Reid go to the crime scene. I’m going to stay here and talk to Emily.”

“Alright, we’ll leave now, call us if you need anything.”

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The drive was quick, helped greatly by the use of your sirens. You sped quickly to the diner, you and Reid the first to arrive on the scene. The witness who had called it in greeted you with sobs, not having time to console her as the two of you went quickly inside. The scene was similar to the previous ones, eight bodies, all shot directly in the center of the head. You noticed something wrong, pretty quickly.

“Reid…” you whispered, staring quietly at a table next to you.

“What’s up?”

“Do you see that?” You pointed helplessly to a small plate accompanied with an ever smaller cup, stars and smiley faces printed onto it.

“That’s a kids meal.”

“There’s not a kid in here, Reid.” You looked at him nervously, your whole body burning as you imagined the child that Jacob took.

“There’s a note here, (Y/N)...” Reid handed a crumpled napkin with a sloppy note written across it.

“Is it an address?”

“It’s definitely the unsubs handwriting. I studied the previous note, there’s no doubt he wrote this.”

“This address is only a few minutes away…”

“We need to leave, now. I’ll call Hotch and tell him to send backup.” Reid ran out of the diner and to the car, and you followed behind quickly. Other cops were now pulling in to the crime scene, and you let them know you were leaving but to stay with the bodies and take care of calling the families. You still weren’t sure who in there had a kid, and you wanted to notify the rest of the family if you could.

You and Spencer called Hotch in the car, letting him know where you were headed. He told you him and Rossi would be there in twenty minutes or so. Spencer was swerving in and out of traffic, trying to get to the location the unsub left for you. When you finally arrived, you were surprised to find a secluded barn near a small patch of land. You pulled up and got out of the car, arming yourselves as you got near the building.

“We should wait for backup, Reid… this could be a trap…” you said with caution, a wave of nerves flooding you as you stood in front of the building.

“He could have a little kid in there, (Y/L/N)... we have to go in.”

“Spencer, you know that’s not the right protocol.”

“When has protocol ever done us any good?”

Spencer starting walking towards the door, and you couldn’t bear to see him go in alone. You followed reluctantly, walking through the open door. As soon as you walked through the doors, you saw him. The face in the photos was finally right in front of you, holding a small item in his hands. You couldn’t make out what it was, you were too focused on the boy, who was tied to a chair next to him.

“Hello, agents. Thank you for joining me,” Jacob said, smiling devilishly at the two of you.

“You need to let the boy go, Jacob,” you instructed, your voice remain quiet and calm and your mind spun in circles.

“That’s not how this is going to go. Do you know what this is?” He waved the device in his hands, smiling down proudly at it. You knew then exactly what he was holding in his hands.

“It’s a bomb…”

“Exactly. And if I don’t get exactly what I want, it’s going to detonate. Are we clear?” He looked at you specifically, as if he was nervous you would be the one to try and defy him.

“Yes,” Spencer answered for you, looking upset as he realized you were right. This was a trap, one that the two of you walked so easily into.

“Put your weapons down, first,” he instructed, pointing at your guns. The two of you placed them down on the ground slowly, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Wonderful. Now, I want you to call your boss and tell him I would like to speak with him.”

You nodded in agreeal, slowly pulling out your phone. You dialed Hotch’s number, your hands shaking as you pressed the buttons. Your heart felt as if it was going to explode, bringing the phone to your ear as you listened to it ring.

“We’re almost there, what’s going on?” His voice made you feel safe, calm, knowing he would get you out of there safely. He had to get you out. You couldn’t die… not here… not now.

“Hotch, we’re here with Jacob, and he’d like to talk to you,” you said shakily, your voice trembling as you got the words out.

“(Y/N)? What’s going on?”

You handed Jacob the phone, which he ripped out of your hand and placed to his own ear.

“Listen carefully. I want her back. I want a plane out of here for both of us, or I blow the kid and your two agents up? Is that understood?” You strained hard to see if you could hear Hotch’s voice, but you couldn’t make anything out. You looked over to Spencer, who was staring helplessly at the ground.

You didn’t bother listening to the rest of Jacob’s conversation with Hotch, not wanting to hear his voice anymore. It was you sick to think about him. When he finally finished, he threw the phone back at you. He walked up to you, grabbing a handful of your hair and pulling your face back to look at him.

“It would be a shame to kill you… You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, smiling down at you. He pulled hard on your hair, knocking you to the ground with all of his force. You slammed onto the dirt hard, feeling your body jolt as you landed. You felt pain shoot through your body, screaming loudly.

“Don’t touch her again!” Spencer yelled, running towards him violently. Jacob pulled a gun and pointed it at his head, which made him stop in his tracks.

“Don’t take another step. Since you want to be her knight in shining armor so bad, why don’t you go ahead and tie her up,” Jacob instructed, pointing the gun at a pile of rope in the corner. Spencer walked slowly over to it, grabbing the rope and tying your hands behind your back. As he tightened the knot, he whispered to you quietly.

“I’m sorry,” he said, the words bouncing back and forth in your head as Jacob pushed you to the ground and continued to tie up Spencer. After he finished, he sat Spencer next to you. He had put the two of you in the corner, out of sight and mind. You were aggravating Jacob, you could tell. If he could just tie you up and place you in the corner, he wouldn’t have anything to throw him off.

“Are you okay?” Spencer whispered, looking concerned at your now bruising body.

“A little sore, but I’ll be fine. What are we gonna do here, Spence?”

“The team will get us out, okay. I promise.”

You watched Jacob on the other side of the room, pacing slowly as he awaited another call that would give him his demands. You started to hear the sound of sirens pull up, feeling slightly relieved knowing they were right outside those walls. The sound of helicopters overhead was prominent, and you noticed Jacob wincing as it got louder.

“Does the sound of helicopters bother you?” You shouted to him, trying to get his attention away from the boy.

“Shut up! Do I need to tape your mouth shut, too?” He was aggravated, waving his gun around and placing a hand on his head.

“My dad was in the Army… helicopters reminded him of his time overseas. He’d have a panic attack every time he heard one…” You said, trying to relate to him. If you couldn’t use force to bring him down, maybe you could sympathize with him.

“It’s just so loud…” he winced, closing his eyes as if all of his senses were betraying him.

“Let me talk to my boss, if he knew how much they hurt you I bet he’d call them off…”

Jacob considered your proposal for a moment, the idea of the pain going away calling to him. But he was smart, and realized quickly what was going on.

“Are you trying to trick me? Do you think you can outsmart me? I have been ahead of you this entire time.”

“Except you didn’t plan on Emily’s boyfriend coming home early, and you didn’t plan on her escaping, did you? None of this was a part of the plan.” Spencer looked at him desperately, and you wanted nothing more than to curl up next to him and feel him holding you. If you were to die here, today, it would be nice to die in the arms of someone you cared about. You desperately craved his touch, especially now. Who knows if this would be your last chance to experience him?

“All I want is for me and Emily to be together, okay? Don’t you get that? Have you ever been in love?”

“I have… and I know how much you love Emily. But if you kill us, you’ll be killing yourself, too. And then Emily will never get to hear how you really feel. Because that’s what all of this is about, right? You just want her to know how you feel?”

“I told her everything. I bore everything to her and she walked away. It… hurt.” Jacob was crying, tears crawling down his face as he shook the gun in his hand.

“I don’t want to die without telling the girl I love how I feel. I know you don’t, either, Jacob. We can all walk out of here and you can see her again.” Spencer looked at you, his eyes pleading for your attention as he spoke.

“I don’t want to get locked up, I can’t live like that…” Jacob continued to cry, and you desperately wanted to give him a hug. He was evil, and you despised him, but he was broken and alone and needed a hug.

“No, no. I am not letting you talk me into this… you both shut up and leave me alone!” He yelled, running away from you and back to the young boy. You let out a long sigh, feeling your own tears starting to form. You really thought you might’ve had him this time. But he was too smart, and he wouldn’t fall for any of your tricks.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I should be able to save you, and I can’t…” Spencer was pale, his forehead sweating as he leaned against the wall.

“Spencer, don’t apologize. It is nobody's job to take care of me, except myself.”

“I don’t want to die in here without telling you how I feel, (Y/N).”

“What are you talking about, Spence?”

“I am crazy about you. I have been in love with you for months. And every time I think I might want to say something, Derek makes some stupid joke and you get awkward and I realize if I say anything I’d risk our friendship but I’m sorry, I can’t die here with you and not tell you I’m in love with you.”

“Spencer…” was the only thing you managed to get out. You opened your mouth to try to say more, but the sound of your cell phone ringing stopped you. Jacob ran quickly to the phone, picking it up and placing it on speaker. He looked at you to make sure you were listening. He wanted you to know your entire lives depended on whatever happened on this one phone call.

“Jacob?” A small female voice came on the line, one that you had not recognized. “Jacob, it’s me, it’s Emily.”

“Emily!” He cried, placing a hand over his heart as he heard her voice.

“Jacob, I am right outside for you. I promise we can walk away together if you just leave your weapons inside and come out.” You could hear the pain in her voice and she said those words, knowing how hard it must’ve been for her to do this. But she was the only thing that could end this, that could save four lives. She didn’t have a choice.

“How do I know you’re telling the truth? You ran away from me, Emily!” Jacob cried into the phone, his voice shaky and his face swollen from tears.

“I have always loved you, Jacob. I have told you everything. You have to believe me. I’m right on the other side of the door. Put down the weapons and show them you’re unarmed, and we can walk away together.”

You watched him closely, patiently waiting for his response. You had never been a religious person, but you prayed to whoever was listening that you could walk away from this.

“Spencer… if we don’t make it out, I want you to know I love you, too. And if we do get out of here, please take me far away from here,” you cried, leaning your head on his shoulder and begging the universe for your life. He kissed the top your head, a small comfort that calmed you down. You watched Jacob slowly look over at the two of you, staying as close as you could, savoring love even in the last moments of your life.

You think it was that moment, him seeing two people in love and remembering what it felt like, that caused him to walk out. He slowly set the gun down, and another small device that you believed was the detonator. He walked through the doors, the sound of a bullet crunching through the air immediately as he stepped outside. You heard the screams of a girl, who was probably dealing with love and loss and pain all in one second, watching the man she loved and feared dying in front of her own eyes.

SWAT and the Bomb Squad came in shortly after, JJ and Derek running in to find the two of you. Emily and Rossi took care of the child as the other two untied you. They walked you outside, JJ pulling you far from Spencer and into an ambulance.

“JJ, I promise I’m fine, but I really need to go see Spencer…” You tried to stand up and walk past her, but you were a little dizzy and she pushed you back down pretty quickly. You saw Spencer arguing with Derek as well, probably for the same reason you were trying to push through JJ.

“Can I take your blood pressure, Agent?” The paramedic said, holding up an arm band and trying to wrap it around you. You angrily refused, finally getting on your feet and walking away from JJ. She realized it wasn’t worth chasing you down, that you would get checked out when you were good and ready.

You ran towards Spencer, who was still being blocked by Derek. You pushed passed cops and paramedics and everything in between, your eyes only on the man you loved. The man who loved you. When you finally got to him, he wrapped his arms around you in relief. He held you for a moment, before letting go and kissing you. It was a kiss full of life, celebrating existence and love.

“Hah, friendly my ass…” Derek whispered, rolling his eyes as he walked away from the two of you.

“Take me away from here, Spencer Reid.”

“Wherever you wanna go.”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid one shot #dr spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler x reader #mgg #mgg x reader

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elianamarie-blog · 4 years ago

Text

The Things You Give Pt. 11

Happy spooky season, my dear loves! Thank you for being so patient with me as I publish each part. I really hope you enjoy this next part. I love hearing from you guys so feel free to message or leave a comment <3

Steven Hyde x Reader

“Eric!” Y/n said, completely frozen in shock. “W-what are you, uh, what are y-you doing h-here?”

Eric’s face didn’t change as he stared at the couple in front him, wide eyes and jaw slack. So many questions ran through his mind as well as different emotions. Rage, confusion, hurt, shock, and most of all: betrayal. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to scream or strangle them both. His hands started to shake and he swore his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

“Uh…it’s not what it looks like!” Hyde said, trying to save the situation. “She was helping me move some boxes and she found some of my nudie magazines.”

“Yeah!” Y/n cut in, catching on. “And I started making fun of him for it and that’s why it sounded like we were talking dirty and that’s why we look like this because of all the moving…and it’s hard work. And we smell like this because we got all sweaty. But nothing else happened!”

Eric couldn’t believe that his best friend and sister would think he was that stupid. He couldn’t even say anything to them. All he could do was calmly walk out through the basement door without saying a word.

“Oh no,” Y/n said under her breath.

“Crap,” Hyde sighed and looked at Y/n who looked like she was about to cry.

Down at the Hub, the couple and everyone else, minus Eric, sat around their usual table as Y/n and Hyde relayed what had happened just a short hour prior.

“He was like a deer caught in the headlights,” Hyde said. “A very angry looking deer.”

“You know what this means?” Donna asked. “This means that he’s going to rant for the next six months and guess who is going to have hear about it?” She pointed a finger at herself. “That’s right, me. Over and over and over again.”

“I know,” Y/n grumbled and hid her face in her hand. “This is so not the way I wanted him to find out. Any of you really.”

“Yeah, I still think I found out the worst way still,” Donna commented and took a sip of her root beer, but not before she shuddered dramatically. “I still have nightmares about it.”

“Yeah it wasn’t a thrill for us either,” Hyde said and took some fries from Y/n’s basket.

“To be honest, I’m kinda scared to see him,” Y/n said after taking a sip of her coke. “He just…didn’t say anything and stormed out.”

“Maybe he didn’t know what to say,” Jackie said. “I mean, he probably was disgusted.”

“Jackie, what the hell, man?” Y/n asked her frustrated.

“No, I mean it’s his sister and best friend. How would you feel if that happened to you?” she defended.

“It did happen to me!” Y/n said. “When Mike McCan’t Keep It In His Pants over here and Easily Spread Butter started sleeping together.”

“First of all, that’s a good burn,” Kelso laughed. “And second of all…I totally nailed your sister! Now if I can nail you, I’d done it with all the Forman girls!”

Hyde didn’t even hesitate to connect his fist to Kelso’s shoulder. Kelso grunted and glared at him before scooting away from him.

“So, how did it make you feel? How did you react?” Donna asked.

“Well, I was beyond angry because I felt so betrayed and disgusted and lied to—ah crap,” Y/n said, realizing what the point was. “Dammit, Jackie, I hate it when you’re right!”

“Which isn’t very common,” Jackie stated, holding up a finger. “But when I am, it’s a big deal.”

“Have you guys seen Eric?” Y/n asked.

“I haven’t,” Donna answered.

“Me either,” Jackie mumbled.

“Nada,” Kelso said.

“Sorry,” Fez finally said, shaking his head.

“Man, I’m kinda freaking out,” Hyde said. “Normally I don’t, especially when it comes to Forman, but you should’ve seen him. I’ve never seen him like this. Normally, he’s like, you know, all squeaky and twitchy, but this time, he was just quiet and walked out calmly.”

“Yeah, I don’t what I’m going to do once I see him,” Y/n said, leaning back and crossing her arms.

“Well, you might want to figure it out soon because he’s coming in,” Fez said, panicking a little.

Y/n and Hyde whipped around to see Eric stomping in, but the second he came in and made eye contact with them, the air around them suddenly went still.

“Hi, Eric,” Y/n said softly.

“Hey man,” Hyde said, trying to sound as casual as he could.

The dirty blonde twin looked at them before turning away back into the parking lot.

“Damn,” Kelso mumbled and turned back around to face the group. “He’s really pissed.”

“Trust me guys, I’ve known Eric our whole lives and I’ve never seen him like this,” Y/n said.

“Well, duh, you shared the womb with the guy,” Fez piped up and everyone couldn’t help but roll their eyes. “I guess you can say, you were wombmates.”

Y/n couldn’t help but giggle at that while everyone else groaned and rolled their eyes.

⧝⧝⧝

The next day, things between the twins and Hyde were still eerily quiet. Eric couldn’t even be in the same room as them. Even at the breakfast table, Eric refused to look up from his plate. Kitty and Red shared a look, knowing something was wrong.

“What’s wrong with you?” Red asked. “You’re usually annoying in the morning. Actually, I can get used to this.”

“Red,” Kitty said sternly and turned to Eric. “Eric, honey, are you okay?”

“M’ fine,” Eric mumbled shortly without looking up and shoveled some eggs into his mouth.

“Did you get into a fight with Donna?” she asked.

“Mom, I said I’m fine. Can we please drop it?” Eric asked, trying to not raise his voice at her.

She held her hands up. “Fine, fine.”

The table went back to ground breaking silence while everyone sat there tense and still, except for Red who was actually enjoying the silence for once.

Outside later in the afternoon, everyone, minus Eric, sat in the driveway, shooting some hoops and talking on top of the Vista Cruiser.

“Where’s Eric?” Jackie asked.

“He’s…somewhere,” Y/n answered and looked towards the house. “I think he’s been hiding in his room all day. Or he just goes where we aren’t.”

“Probably both,” Jackie said and shuddered. “I wouldn’t want to be in his room either.”

Donna laughed. “That’s true. One time I just walked in and he was reading a nudey magazine and I swear I’ve never seen him jump up so fast. It would’ve been funnier if he wasn’t naked.”

Y/n and Jackie shuddered in horror.

“Gross!” Jackie exclaimed.

“What she said,” Y/n said and gagged. “Thanks for that mental image.”

Y/n looked over to Steven, Michael, and Fez playing basketball and made eye contact with Steven. In that split second, Michael took advantage of it and swiped the ball from him. He made a slam dunk and stuck his tongue out at Hyde.

Hyde quickly grabbed the ball and spun around, dodging Kelso’s attempted swipe and slammed it into the basket.

“Hyde: two, Kelso: uno,” Hyde said, smirking and balanced the ball on his hip.

“I love watching you play basketball,” Y/n said, her voice lowering.

“Yeah?” Hyde responded, staring her down.

“Yeah, it’s hot,” she responded before realizing they were in front of everyone and cleared her throat. “Or you know, whatever.”

“Get a room!” Kelso shouted.

“It’s my house!” Y/n argued.

“Exactly! So, you should go find one and get that out of here,” he responded.

“Shut up, man. We used to have to watch you and Jackie make out all the time,” Hyde said.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t weird like this is,” Kelso responded.

Y/n and Hyde rolled their eyes at him before turning back to each other.

“So, have you seen him?” he asked her.

“No, have you?” she asked.

He shook his head. “We’re going to have face him sooner or later.”

“Later,” Y/n answered. “Gives me time to think of ways to calm him down. Or by the time we do face him we’ll be in Guadalajara.”

Hyde shook his head smiling. “Come on, let’s get this over with.”

Y/n sighed and hopped off the car. “Fine. Let’s go find him.”

“I think I saw him go into the basement earlier,” Fez said and everyone followed Y/n and Steven to go to the basement.

“Can we get some privacy?” Y/n asked when they noticed everyone was following them.

“No way!” Kelso answered. “We aren’t going to miss the show.”

Y/n grunted, feeling annoyed. “Idiots.”

Hyde turned around and slammed his fist into Kelso’s shoulder. “Will you get out of here? All of you!”

“Ow!” Kelso yelled. “Fine!”

Everyone dispersed leaving Hyde and Y/n alone.

Begrudgingly, Hyde and Y/n made their way to the basement where they did, in fact, see Eric sitting on the couch watching TV. But judging his body language, he was tense and still really pissed off.

“Eric?” Y/n called out gently, afraid to scare him off like a stray animal. “How are you doing?” She rounded to the couch to face him and saw his chin resting on his thumb while his index finger held up his cheek. He wasn’t paying attention to the tv and was just sitting there, seething.

He looked at her from the corner of his eye to back to the screen. He stayed silent, refusing to speak to her.

She looked at Hyde desperately, needing help.

“Listen, Forman. We need to talk about this,” Hyde said stepping forward.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said, struggling to keep his voice leveled.

“Yes, there is and it’s need to happen,” Steven responded. “I get it, you’re pissed. But this needs to be hashed out so it doesn’t become another Kelso fiasco. So, come on. Let’s talk.”

“Talk about what, exactly?” Eric snapped. “What’s there to talk about? Talk about you screwing my sister? Or that you guys went behind my back and have been lying to me this whole time? Or how ‘bout this, that you went after my twin sister? You know it was bad enough when Kelso did it with Laurie, but Y/N?” He shook his head.

“Eric, please,” Y/n begged. “Trust me, this is not the way we wanted you to find out.”

He jerked his head to look at her. “How did you want me to find out?”

She shrugged her shoulders nervously. “I don’t know, but somewhere along the lines we wanted to tell you.”

“And how did you think I would take that?!” he yelled. “You’re sleeping with my best friend! I can’t believe you guys would do this to me!”

“Okay, first all, Forman, we’re not doing anything to you,” Hyde defended. “In fact, this isn’t about you at all. And second of all, it’s nothing like that. It’s more than that now.”

Eric’s face darkened. “What do you mean by that?”

Hyde cast his eyes down and looked to Y/n before turning his gaze back to Eric. “I love her, man.”

“WHAT?!” Eric practically screamed. He dragged a hand down his face and started to pace behind the couch.

Y/n stayed seated as she watched her brother’s breathing becoming uneven and shaken. She knew that he was about to lose his cool.

“What the hell do you mean you love her?” he continued shouting. “Out of all the stupid crap you’ve pulled, this has got to be the dumbest one yet!”

“What do you mean by that?” Hyde asked offended.

“I think you know exactly what I mean,” he replied. “You stringing my sister along for fun, making her believe that you’re in love with her and then when you get tired of her, you’re going to dump her for the next girl that comes along.”

“That’s what you think I’m doing?” Hyde was getting visibly angry. “You think I would that to her? I’m not freaking Kelso!”

“I don’t see you denying it!”

“Hang on!” Y/n shouted, standing from her seat. “Do you really think I’m naïve to fall for something like that again?”

“Well, you did before,” Eric spat.

Y/n’s blood started to boil. “That’s nothing compared to what Steven and I have! What he is saying is true because I love him too!”

Eric’s face fell and flushed red, clenching his teeth. “How long?”

“How long what?” Y/n asked.

“How long has this been going on?”

“Well, uh, since June,” she answered.

“So, you’ve been dating secretly for four months and never thought of when to tell me?! When were you going to tell me? After you guys secretly got married? Or after the birth of your first secret child?”

“It’s not like we wanted to hurt you,” Y/n defended. “We didn’t plan for anyone else to find out either.”

“Everybody else knows?!” Eric shouted.

“Nice going,” Hyde grumbled, elbowing Y/n’s arm. Gently, of course.

“Uh—yeah. They kind of…found out on their own. Except for Fez. Kelso told him, but other than that, yeah. They caught on.”

“How do you think Mom and Dad are going to take it when they find out their daughter is screwing the town’s rebel?!”

“You mean the one they took in?” she asked angrily. “The one who they love like another son?”

“I’m warning you now when Dad finds out, you’re dead. Both of you. And I mean literally,” Eric warned and continued to pace.

“I know, but this a risk that we’re willing to take,” she said and walked over to where Hyde was standing and wrapped her arms around his waist. Steven wrapped a protective arm around her and held her close. “I love him and he loves me. I’m actually happy.”

“I know this hard for you to get through your thick skull, but I really do love her, man. For the first time ever, I’m happy,” Steven said, more calmly this time.

“Stop saying that!” Eric screeched.

“It’s true, man!” Hyde yelled back. “Will you quit acting like a two-year-old and actually have a decent conversation?”

“You don’t get to tell me how to act when you’ve been going behind my back like this,” Eric growled. “Don’t you dare tell me how to act!”

“This is why we didn’t want to tell you!” Y/n said. “We knew you’d act like this!”

“How am I supposed to act, Y/n? I mean, for four months, four damn months, you’ve been doing whatever you’ve been doing in secret. I can barley understand all of this. I don’t know how the hell you expect me to accept this!”

“Well, you’re gonna have to because this isn’t going to end anytime soon!” Hyde said.

Eric finally stopped pacing and looked Hyde straight in the eye. “You know what bothers me the most? That I gave you more than one chance to tell me the truth and you lied to me. I’m supposed to be your best friend, your brother, and you couldn’t even come to me to say, ‘Hey man, I like your sister and I’m thinking of asking her out. Just thought I’d give you a heads up,’” Eric said, doing an impression of Hyde.

Hyde unhooked his arm from Y/n’s shoulder. “Okay, first of all the impression, uncanny,” he said sarcastically. “And second, even if I did come to you first you still wouldn’t be okay with it.”

“Of course not!” he said. “But it still would’ve been better than being lied to!”

Hyde and Y/n grew quiet and looked at each other. As much as they hated to admit it, he was right. They should’ve at least said something to him before all this.

“You know what? I can’t even look at you two right now,” Eric finally said and walked over to the door, grabbing his coat from the rack.

“Where you going?” Y/n asked, tears beginning to surface.

��Anywhere but here!” Eric shouted and slammed the door on his way out.

“Damn it,” Y/n groaned, rubbing her hands down her face. “I knew this was going to blow up in our faces.”

“Let’s just give him some space,” Hyde said and brought her in for a hug. “It’ll be okay. He can’t stay mad forever.”

“What was all that yelling about?” Kitty asked, coming down the stairs.

Y/n pushed herself away from Hyde and stood close to him. “We got into a fight with Eric.”

“You two got into a fight with Eric?” she asked surprised. “Why? What happened?”

“Donna and Eric had a fight,” Hyde and Y/n answered quickly together.

“Nice!” Y/n laughed.

“Alright!” Hyde laughed with her.

Y/n turned back to her mother. “We sided with her and now he’s all pissed at us.”

“What about this time?” Kitty asked.

“I’m not too sure,” Y/n lied. “Something about Star Wars.”

“Oh, for the love of God,” she responded, rolling her eyes. “Those two fight over the dumbest things.”

“You can say that again,” Hyde said, chuckling to himself.

“Well, when Eric gets back, make you sure tell him dinner’s almost ready.” She trotted back up the stairs, leaving the couple along again.

They sighed together and collapsed on the couch next to each other.

“What are we going to do?” Y/n groaned and dropped her head on his shoulder.

Hyde kissed her head and sighed as he put his arm around her. “I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out.”

“I love you.”

A small smile crept up on his face. “I love you too.”

⧝⧝⧝

The next day at the hub, the gang, again minus Eric, sat around a table eating burgers and fries. Y/n slurped on a milkshake while listening to Jackie’s incessant rant about God-knows-what.

“So, then as Brittany took the position of head cheerleader from me, now the whole squad has been completely ignoring me and talking behind my back. That skank wad,” said Jackie, crossing her arms.

“I thought you quit cheerleading?” Y/n asked.

“Yeah, but then I realized I needed to go back to my natural habitat. Snobby and bitchy.”

“At least you’re honest,” Y/n said..

“So, you talked to Eric, huh?” Donna asked.

“Yeah, and he didn’t take it well at all,” Hyde responded.

“Well what happened?” Fez asked.

Y/n and Hyde went into the details of what happened the night before with everyone’s eyes glued to their faces.

“Man, he’s taking this a lot harder than I thought,” Donna said, leaning back and taking a sip of her soda.

“I’m not surprised,” Kelso piped up. “I mean, he hated it when me and Laurie got together, but yours is way worse.”

Y/n squinted at him. “How is this worse, exactly?”

“Well, me and Laurie were just doing it,” he responded. “You guys actually feelings for each other.”

“No, you idiot,” said Fez. “If he was just doing her he would be angrier because then Hyde would look at her just like a hot piece of meat instead of actually having feelings for her.”

“Thanks, Fez,” Y/n said, happy that someone made that point.

“Or,” Kelso said. “He’s madder because this is a thing that’s going to stick and not just be a fling and get over with.”

“That’s also a good point,” Jackie said.

Y/n gave a look to Donna and shook her head before continuing. “Anyway, I don’t know what else to do.”

“There’s nothing you really can do,” Donna responded. “He knows now and there’s nothing you can say or do to make him any less pissed.”

“Except if you two broke up,” Jackie said.

“Oh, I got it!” Kelso said, snapping his fingers. “You two should break up!”

“Kelso!” Hyde and Y/n said in unison.

“No! I mean you two should fake break up and then Forman won’t be so mad at you anymore,” he responded.

“Well, that’s not too bad of an idea,” Jackie said.

“What’s the point of that?” Hyde said. “He’s already pissed off at us for lying to him. What makes you think this one is better?”

“Yeah, good point,” Fez said. “Well, then Donna is right. There’s nothing you can do.”

Y/n sighed and leaned back, rubbing her temples. “This sucks.”

“I know, but he’ll come to accept it,” Donna said. “Especially if this is going to last.”

“What Miss Kitty and Mr. Red?” Fez asked. “Red is a fireball. He’s going to lose his crap.”

Everybody gasped.

“Red!” Kelso shouted. “I didn’t even think about him!” Then he started laughing. “You’re so dead, man.”

Hyde glared at him. “You think we didn’t think of that?”

“Well, we’re eighteen now. He can’t tell us what to do and who to be with,” Y/n said, turning to Steven. “He’s going to have to get over it.”

“Yeah, after he sticks his foot in your ass,” Donna laughed.

“I’ll take it,” Hyde said and put his arm around her shoulders. “I’ll take anything for you.”

Y/n giggled as everyone awe’d at him.

“Shut up!” Hyde yelled, but a smile formed on his face anyway.

A ding at the door caused the group to turn around. Zack stood at the entrance and made his way over to Y/n once he made eye contact with her. Y/n internally groaned.

“So, you’re with the school burnout now huh?” Zack mocked. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to find someone better than me.”

Y/n blinked at him. “Great. You’re back. Don’t you have to be annoying somewhere else? Like in college? Or did you fail and disappoint them too?”

“BURN!” Kelso shouted, laughing along with the rest of the group.

“I didn’t fail out,” he defended. “They kicked me out.”

Y/n laughed. “For what? For spiking the sorority girls’ punch?”

“No,” he said, growing frustrated at everyone’s laughter. “I broke into the girl’s locker room and drilled a hole through the wall.”

Y/n through her head back and laughed. “Yeah, you know what, I upgraded. And my guy maybe a ‘burnout’ but at least he doesn’t cheat on me with some skank.”

“I only cheated because you wouldn’t put out,” he said, his cheeks puffing out.

“Yeah, get lost, Loser,” Y/n said, throwing the word back in his face.

He pfft’d and smacked Hyde in the arm. “Good luck with this bitch, man.”

Hyde glared at Zack before slowly standing and winding his fist back and connecting it to his nose. Zack cried out and held his nose in his hand.

“What the hell, you prick?!” he shouted.

“Call my girlfriend a bitch again and I’ll make sure you’ll be the first person to touch his chin to his ass!” Steven shouted. “Get the hell out of here!”

Zack didn’t respond as he scrambled out of the building.

“That was awesome!” Donna cried out, laughing.

“Yeah, that was,” Kelso said, smiling. “I’ve never heard a guy scream like a bitch before.”

“Me neither,” Y/n chuckled and looked to Hyde. “By the way, that was so hot.”

“I gotta protect my girl,” he said and leaned in for a kiss. Y/n smiled into the kiss as she placed her hand on his face, scratching his sideburns.

“Oh, God,” Eric called out from the door, feeling disgusted seeing them being affectionate.

Hyde and Y/n pulled apart and looked at Eric.

“Hi,” Y/n said. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought I’d come down and see my dear sister with our dear friends, to try and maybe to hang out and get some normalcy, but seeing you two makes me want to vomit.”

“Oh, come on, Eric,” Donna said. “It’s not like this Kelso and Laurie.”

“That’s what I said!” Hyde said, trying to deflate the situation.

“Besides, they’re kind of cute together,” Donna said with a smile on her face. She looked to Y/n who mouthed a ‘thank you’ and winked at her. “You can’t stay mad at them forever.”

“Maybe not, but I can for a really, really long time,” he answered and was about to walk out the door when Y/n stopped him.

“Eric, wait no,” she said and got up, grabbing his hand. “Please don’t go. Sit with us.”

“Look, Y/n. I can’t. You have no idea how angry I am that you lied to me. We’re twins and we’re not supposed to have any secrets between us. We share everything, but you know the thing that really hurts the most? It’s that you felt like you couldn’t come to me at all. I can understand Mom and Dad, especially Dad because he’s well, scary, but me? I thought we were best friends and you trusted me enough to come to me.”

Tears filled Y/n’s eyes. “Eric, I do.”

“Clearly not enough,” he said, hurt laced in his face and drew his hand back from hers. He looked to Hyde who looked like he felt deep guilt. “We’re supposed to be best friends and you couldn’t even tell me the truth the first time. You clearly don’t care about anyone else but yourselves.”

“Eric, that’s not fair!” Y/n cried.

“You want to talk to me about fairness?!” he raised his voice again. “This isn’t fair. None of this is fair! It wasn’t fair that you went behind my back and started doing it! Or, that you couldn’t even come tell me that you have fallen in love with each other! That’s not fair.”

He walked out the Hub, leaving Y/n in tears. She sat back down and rested her head in the crook of Hyde’s neck, face turned away from the group so they couldn’t see her tears.

Hyde wrapped his around her waist and held her close, trying his best to comfort her.

“I’m sorry Y/n,” Donna said. “I’ll talk to him later.”

“But he’s right,” Y/n croaked out and turned her face back to them. “This isn’t fair to him and we did him wrong.”

“But you can’t help how you feel,” Jackie said sweetly. “It’s not like you did this to get back at Eric for something. You two truly do love each other and if he cared about you, he wouldn’t be so angry.”

“No, he has every right to be,” Y/n said, wiping her eyes. “Yes, we have strong feelings for each other, but we still went behind his back and betrayed him. He has every right to feel the way he does.”

No one else knew what to say, but to look at each other.

“I gotta go,” Y/n said and ran out before anyone else could see more tears.

“I should go too,” Hyde said. “This is my fault too.”

He got up and walked out after her, feeling the same guilt as she did.

Taglist:

@lieswithoutfairytales @mdittyz123

#Steven Hyde #steven hyde x reader #that 70s show #That '70s Show #that 70's show fanfic #Eric Forman #Donna Pinciotti #Michael Kelso #jackie burkhart #fez #fez x jackie #i just love when fez sings this because it's so cute haha

216 notes · View notes

clean-bands-dirty-stories · 4 years ago

Text

Weak ~ S.R. (part 3)(final)

A/n: Kind fo struggled to find an ending to this that I liked, so I hope you guys liked it. Side note: I was inspired by “Easy” by Camila Cabello for this part :)

Word Count: 8600+

MASTERLIST

We fall for that. Wake up, we fall again. We fall for that. Can't wait to fall again- One sip, bad for me; One hit, bad for me; One kiss, bad for me, but I give in so easily. And no thank you is how it should've gone, I should stay strong- But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?

It took almost an entire month before Y/n really came to terms with having actual feelings for Spencer. With a lot of help from Michael and some stern words from Hotch when she'd begun to give Spencer the cold shoulder, she'd finally sat down and really thought about it.

I mean, who wouldn't fall head over heels for Spencer Reid, am I right? He was a total dork and had the prettiest smile she'd ever seen. He also had a huge heart and when he looked at her from across the room with the look of some kicked puppy, she still couldn't help but notice how beautiful he was with even that look on his face. Not to mention how kind and considerate he was. He even tried to save people everyone else rightfully hated, because every life that kept living was a victory to him. He shut himself down and kept himself in check as not to annoy others. Y/n was the only one who willingly listened to him, and he'd been slipping recently because he didn't have her to talk to anymore. He was just a really great person... and also really, really attractive like fucking hell dial it back just a TAD for the sake of a single woman with a weak heart.

When she could finally think about it without freaking out because of her past, she approached him again. "Hey." Her voice was soft, heavy with guilt.

He was surprised when he looked up and saw her. He stood, then stepped back to try and play it off like he hadn't been incredibly eager. "H-hi." His eyebrows came together as if in the world's smallest cringe and Y/n couldn't help but smile at the adorable awkwardness.

"I, uh." Her smile wavered as she remembered why she was here. "I'm really sorry, Reid." He frowned deeply at her use of his last name so she gave in a little. "Spencer." His shoulders lifted a little. "I've kind of had a lot of thoughts up in this little noggin of mine and unfortunately my brain works slower than average so it took me some time to figure it out." She shook her head. "I'm sorry it's made it so weird between us. I hope we can still be friends?" That's not what she really wanted, but she knew that what she REALLY wanted would be forever out of her reach. Spencer would never return her feelings. She didn't deserve it. Maybe her feelings now were healthy, but back then... no. What she had said and done and thought all those years ago was inexcusable. She couldn't have a relationship like wanted to with him with a such a secret between them, and she would NEVER tell anyone about it. It was in the past, it didn't matter. Just like her real feelings for the boy wonder in front of her now.

"Of course." He seemed relieved by her words. "Did I... do something to upset you?"

She smiled. Of course he'd think it was his fault. "Never," she reassured. "I... upset myself." That was as close to the truth as she could get.

It only confused him more though. "Are you okay?"

"Please," she begged softly. "I- it won't happen again. Can we please just forget about it?" Her eyes were wide and earnest. "I promise none of us were in any danger. You just-" She sighed. She hated the thought that he might worry enough to go digging, because with his resources he might find out. "You remind me of someone in my past," she worded carefully. "Someone I hurt. And- he didn't know I hurt him, but I did. And sometimes when I look at you, I remember that version of myself and it's... difficult. But I've come to terms with it for real now, and accepted that I'm a different person now. It was years ago and I'm better, you know? So it's really happy news and nothing you need to worry about. I promise."

He seemed to calm down for real at my reassurance. "Okay," he promised. "But if you need anything-"

"I'll come to you first," Y/n declared. "Well." She got a coy smile on her face. "Second. I have an old friend who was there during the whole thing. Who helped me through it. So he might be a tad better at helping, but with his experience and your incredible mind, I'm absolutely sure that if anything comes up it won't even be an issue."

He looked a little sad. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you." He hesitated, so Y/n didn't say something in case he wanted to share something personal as she had. Now that she was sure that her old habits were long dead, she no longer felt worried about getting close to him. It was incredibly refreshing. As she'd thought, he did speak again, pulling out her thoughts so she could focus on him. "I feel like I should be able to do more for my friends. I'm trained to do this as a career, but when it comes to people I care about rather than some murderous psycho, I end up being pretty useless."

She's taken aback by his bluntness. "Are you serious?" He shrugged and she reached up to grab either side of his ace with both of her hands. He seemed surprised by the contact, but didn't pull away. He seemed even more shocked by the fact SHE hadn't pulled away from HIM. "Pen, you're like literally the smartest person I've ever met. Everyone considers you a genius, and you've earned that title time and time again- so much that it drives people crazy sometimes." They both chuckled. "Just because you're smart doesn't mean you're a mind reader though. Be nicer to yourself. Please. You deserve it."

He relaxed at her words and only then did he realize her thumb was grazing his jaw tenderly. She slowly removed her hands. He seemed like he wanted to stop her but he didn't, and she felt her stomach light on fire. "Thank you." The words were soft and warmed Y/n to her core.

Y/n shrugged. "Besides, 'The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes.' You're gonna miss things you don't want to be there. I've been the type of person people ignore when I'm upset since I'm usually pretty upbeat and get over things quickly anyway."

Spencer seemed to glitch. "What did you say?"

A blush swallowed Y/n's face as she winced back in shame. "I don't mean to blame you, I just mean that it's okay, because I'm used to handling it on my own and-"

"No," he dismissed. "The thing about observing obvious things."

It was then that she became cautious. "It's a quote from a book I read a few years ago. One of the few things I made myself remember and internalize. It made me feel better about how I... got into some tricky situations, before I learned and taught myself better and stuff."

His expression brightened. "You've read The Narrative of John Smith?"

She tried not to think about how she'd read it because she'd watched him carry around the book for months. How it had rested on the dashboard of his car and it had made her curious since he blew through books so quickly and never held onto one for long. She tried not to think about how she had gotten it to feel closer to him, reading it slowly and writing down things that she thought were neat. How Michael used those exact words she'd cherished to help counsel her in a way that got through to her in the beginning when she was drowning in guilt. "Yeah," was all she said, even as so many more thoughts raced through her mind.

"That's so wild." He seemed to catch his breath. "I've been meaning to get a copy of my own. I keep borrowing it from the library and returning it too late. It's one of my favorite books."

"No way." She laughed, trying to make it sound casual. "I still have my copy, if you want it."

The idea of reading it again seemed to excite him, making Y/n relax. "I'd love to borrow it. I have to say, I can be a little... hard on books. I have a lot of love to give them."

The joke made her relax completely, her worries rolling off her shoulder. She was a new person, living a new life that was so much better than she'd ever dreamed. "You can actually have it," she told him. "Honestly, it's kind of a reminder of some things that I don't want to remember, and I haven't read it in a long time and probably won't ever again."

"Really?"

"Really," she promised enthusiastically.

He thought for a second then that glimmer in his eyes shone, just like it always did when he got an idea. "What if I read it to you? We could make new memories. Unless you don't like the book."

Y/n laughed. "It was a little hard for me to swallow, but with someone like you to help me if I ask some questions here and there..."

"Oh absolutely," he agreed.

"Then sure." He cheered and she laughed and then Hotch called their names because they had a new case. Both of them went into the meeting beaming.

"Did you bring it today?" It had been six whole cases where every day Spencer would ask her the same thing, and every time she had to disappoint him because she came to work very early in the morning and returned very late at night and she always forgot it.

Not today though.

Her parted, upturned lips gave her away and Spencer jerked in excitement. "First," she began, holding up a finger as she reached into her bag. "To make up for taking ages to finally get it to you." She extended a small bag of Sour Skittles. He seemed to do that physical stutter like he always did when he was so surprised by something it was like a human glitch, eyes on the Skittles like they were going to jump out and bite his hand. "Since it took me over two months to get it to you," she said quietly. Why did he look like she was holding out a dead dog rather than a bag of candy? Then she thought about how the very first gift she'd ever given him was this exact treat. She panicked for a second. Did he know that it was a stalker after all that had given him the gift? Did he expect it to be her? Had he stopped liking this candy because of her selfish recklessness all those years ago? Oh god. "I didn't know what you liked, but they're my favorite," she rushed awkwardly, pulling her hand away. "I' sorry I didn't mean to upset you."

He caught her wrist and she looked into his eyes, ready to see accusation and anger when she did. Instead, she saw guilt. Guilt? What did he have to be sorry for? "No, I love it. Very thoughtful. I'm so sorry, I just-" He swallowed. "I haven't liked them for a while. But," and he snatched them from her hand, pointing back to her bag. She slowly took out the book and he grabbed that too. "Like I said. Here's to new beginnings. New memories with things that were once ruined but didn't deserve it." Right there he opened the bag and popped a few in his mouth. His eyes watched her as he chewed and his body seemed to relax. He then rolled up the bag so none would spill. "Maybe after work today we can meet at my place and I can read to you and we can share them together?"

His place. "I... What about my place?" He made an odd expression and she returned a sheepish one. "I'm weird about other people's places." This was absolutely true. After she'd developed her obsession with Spencer, she got nervous being too intimate with other people, in case it shifted to them instead. "Until I'm super comfortable with them. It's kind of weird, I'm sorry."

"No, I get it." And he seemed to, though it was obvious he understood the feeling rather than the context. "Your place."

Y/n went to confirm, but then Hotch came out, the look on his face that meant they had a case. "As much as I'd hate to interrupt your date," he told Reid and Y/n - both who went beet red, making the rest of the team smirk - before holding up the case file. "We have a case. You guys can do it on the plane though, or in the hotel once we get there." At our surprise, he explained further. "We're headed to Alaska, and the storms are going to be very bad this time of year. There won't be much time to call each other, so Garcia will be coming with us as well. Because of the constantly bad weather, the electronics aren't very advanced so we'll need Y/n as well to help Garcia sift through footage and get information as much as possible. Getting information on this case might need more people talking than we have time for, so Y/n will be needed in quite a few places."

Suddenly Y/n was very excited.

She was going out into the field.

Boy, oh boy I love it when I fall for that. I'm weak, and what's wrong with that? Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that. I'm weak- Go! But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?

Y/n was relieved that after all the hard to swallow cases, the team was finally getting reprieve from a case that was unwinding pretty quickly. Not quickly enough. Never quickly enough, as two more women turned up dead before they had a suspect who seemed to have a third lined up for her grave the next day if they didn’t do something about it.

So, they did something about it. They were working with a team, who had split up to do different things. The woman cleaned the mess left from the torture, and the man finished off the victim in her grave before leaving her body there to be found later by police. Morgan and Prentiss were going after the man, and Spencer and Y/n were supposed to infiltrate the house and hack the computer for information on where the woman was keeping the victims, since it obviously wasn’t at home. Once they did, they’d send word to Hotch and Rossi and they’d take care of the rest.

It all went wrong pretty quickly.

First of all, Spencer hadn’t the book they’d been reading together on the dashboard. It shouldn’t have been a problem, since they’d reading it together every night to unwind before bed. To distract themselves so they could actually get some sleep. Or, Spencer had been reading it to Y/n. The memory was a good one, and had been getting increasingly better. Now that Y/n had come to terms with her feelings, she felt herself easily falling into a closeness with Spencer that left them growing very close. Physically even. They were very touchy and hovered around each other. Even with Spencer’s hesitance to touch people because of his germaphobia, or Y/n’s hesitance to share bits of herself that might reveal her past. The little goodness between them amidst all the bad things was a breath of fresh air for everyone. Not even Hotch had the heart to break them apart - especially when they both deserved to be happy, and why not together?

Even now they were smiling at each other, taking comfort in each other’s presence. Y/n was nervous to be on the field, wearing a bullet proof vest just in case even though no one should have been there. With the skills she’d picked up from Garcia even in the short time she’d had and Spencer’s never failing intelligence, it was going to be an easy in and out mission. No worry.

The book shattered everything.

Or, at least, what was inside of it.

It dropped on the ground of the car and Spencer reached inside to grab it really fast and put it back on the dash. As he did so, something fell out of the later pages much further into the book. Further than where they’d gotten with Y/n’s constant questions and wanting to understand. Something that Spencer had though adorable then, but was now tainted by the thing he held in his hand.

When he didn’t move, Y/n moved over to him. “Pen? What’s wrong?” She’d begun to use the name naturally instead of his title or even first name like everyone else. Usually it made him smile, but now it made him flinch. She reached out for him and he jerked away. “Spencer?” It wasn’t how she’d referred to him in a while. It seemed to upset him even more.

The thin thing spun around in Spencer’s thin fingers so that Y/n could see the other side. When she did, her heart stopped dead in her chest. “What’s this?” Spencer demanded.

In that moment, Y/n was that same scared girl she’d been when Spencer had walked into her precinct with his team for the very first time and all she could think about was how much she didn’t want her past to come back and eat her alive and ruin her life. Because now, staring at her, was Spencer. Or, a picture of him. An extremely old picture of him. A picture that was now six years old, of a Spencer with slicked back hair and vests and glasses, looking at JJ with a huge smile on his face. It was one of the intimate photos Y/n had taken when-

“I burned all of those.” She took a step back, but the movement might as well have been a slap across Spencer’s face for how he flinched.

“You had more?” This time he looked less shocked and more angry.

Y/n tried to find some words. “Had,” she stressed, trying to come up with something. “I- not anymore, not for a long time.”

She could see the gears in his brain turning, but it didn’t seem to be much work to put the puzzle that he was trying to solve together. She thought of all the things that gave her away. The book that was one of his favorites that she just happened to have. The candy she had given him. The shame she’d been carrying with her so long, that had driven them apart even when they shared the same working space. The picture in his hand now that was from a time Y/n was not in his life. A time she should have no record of. And yet she did, and he was holding it out to her as proof.

“It was you?” His words sounded sharp and accusing. She had never heard Spencer y’all like that before.

She tried to explain. Explain how much she’d gotten better and how far she’d come since then. But the words got stuck in her throat. She deserved this. She couldn’t get that thought out of her head. She deserved this. “Spencer-“

“My name is Dr. Reid and I’m a federal agent so you better answer my fucking question.”

Her vision blurred with tears. “Yes,” she whispered. The word held so much pain and regret that Reid stepped away, looking to where there was no trace of her. It hit her then. Slipping the picture in the book as a bookmark all those years ago. It was the only time she’d ever taken a picture out of the box. She’d used it as inspiration to get through the book. Every time she set a goal, she’d save it with the picture and her prize was seeing his smile again. After she’d finished the book, she’d forgotten she’d left the picture in it.

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HER?!

“You let me become your friend.”

A bubbling sob broke from the back of her throat. “I tried not to,” she begged him to understand. “I tried everything, but it was one thing after another and suddenly I have all these REAL feelings for you and-“ She hissed when his eyes shot back to her, hitting her like he’d hit her with his car. “Reid that was YEARS ago. I’m a totally different person now-“

“This isn’t years ago for me,” Reid snapped, his eyes wide as his mind began to reel.

Y/n looked away. She closed her eyes, feeling her heart drop into her toes. “We have to find out where the next victim is or she’s going to die. Can we talk about this later?”

“I can’t LOOK at you right now let alone with you.” He seemed panicked and Y/n flinched, recoiling. “Are you stalking everyone then?”

“I’m not stalking anyone,” Y/n defended weakly. “Stalked. Past tense.”

“Was it only me?” Spencer demanded.

The question seemed odd. “Yes?” That seemed to trouble him more. She couldn’t take it anymore though. She grabbed her pants to ground herself, turning away from him. “Let’s split up then. I’m not letting work drama cost this girl her life.” She steeled herself, wiped her tears, and then began moving inside from the back door, leaving the front door for Reid. “Just stay here.” He didn’t say anything, just stayed still and letting her go.

She slipped inside, making her way to the computer. She called Garcia as she’d been told to. “Hey G.” She frowned at the name. Did she have to leave the BAU now? If he couldn’t look at her or function, how could she stay? This might be her dream job but this was and had been his life for ages. She couldn’t take that away. No, she’d leave.

But that was later.

This was now.

She had this case to finish before anything else happened.

Garcia asked Y/n about the sniffling but Y/n brushed it off- no reason to get into why she’d been crying. And the case was more important now. Between hiding her own pain and trying to focus on hacking and finding this woman who was waiting to be saved, Y/n didn’t see the woman creep into the woman. The woman, who was one half of the unsub team, who was hefting a metal skillet in one hand and a knife in the other.

“Where’s Spencer?” Garcia asked suddenly. “He should be helping you with this.”

“Outside,” Y/n asked casually.

“What?” Garcia snapped.

Y/n didn’t get the chance to throw a response back though. A knife plunged into her gut and her mind went blank as pain erupted through her like she’d never experienced before. By some luck she knocked the skillet out of the woman’s hand, the chair falling back and the knife slipping out of her gut as she fell.

The unsub sat on Y/n’s chest, hefting the knife over her head, a grin on her face. The woman grabbed Y/n’s phone, leaving close to it. “Any last words?” She purred.

Garcia gasped. “DON’T-!”

The woman closed the phone. “Begging,” she groaned, rolling her eyes. “What a fucking waste of time.” Then she stabbed Y/n again, cutting off a scream that escaped her by some serious luck.

The thought that she was going to die here passed through Y/n’s mind as the knife left her again and she groaned, blinking as her vision began to swim. The pain was all consuming and suddenly she was fading out as the knife buried itself higher in her stomach for a third time. Only one thing left her lips. “I deserve this.”

The woman grinned even wider. “Do yourself a favor and pass out, Dearie. After you I’ll be done. That completes the cycle.”

Y/n didn’t know what the woman meant, but she gave in to the pain anyway. The last thing was her blood on the knife and the woman’s hand as she hefted it over her head to bring it down on Y/n a fourth time. The last thought she had was that she was going to die worse than alone. She was going to die at the hands of a psycho with a knife, in pain and on the floor. Her story would be told by Spencer, who didn’t understand her struggle or how far she had come. It was all over and she’d be remembered as the creepy bitch who’d stalked Spencer Reid years ago and then been unlucky enough to end up actually falling in love with him.

Splendid.

It was quiet in the room outside of where Y/b was still unconscious in the hospital bed. When Garcia had called Reid in a panic he had run inside, because stalker or not Y/n was part of his team and he wasn’t going to let her die just because he felt a little disturbed.

The truth was that he was actually torn in a lot of directions at the moment. Knowing that there had been two stalkers, or maybe one after the other, was an unsettling thought. If Y/n had just been watching Spencer, there was still a stalker out there watching all of them, and no way would they not be jealous of how Y/n had been successful in getting close, if they knew about it at all.

There was also the fact that Spencer had fallen really hard for Y/n. He had some very strong feelings for her, but low every memory and feeling seemed to be tainted by the image of Y/n sitting in her car outside his house, or looking over him as he slept. How long ago had she stopped? Why had she stopped? How far had she gotten with stalking him? How long had she been doing it before she stopped? He thought of the day he walked out to those Skittles on his car and his heart had completely stopped as all the stalker cases filled his head in one go, as they did now. So many more cases now though, and much more fear.

What did she know that he didn’t know she knew? That she’d learned from watching him without him knowing?

When he apprehended to woman unsub and called an ambulance for Y/n, they’d all ended up in the hospital as they too often did with cases that went just a little wrong. Hotch had wrung the story out of him and now everyone was here and had heard the full story, especially his explanation of why he let Y/n go in alone.

Eyes slowly moved to Spencer, but he couldn’t handle it. He left, making up some reason about wrapping up the case and telling the local police they’d succeeded and such to get back to the precinct and to a computer.

It took him an hour to find Michael Bills. He was Y/n’s therapist. Spencer had dug deep into Y/n to get answers to his questions. Answers he couldn’t wait to get when she woke up, because he needed them right now. She had done everything to keep Michael and her past buried, but with help from Garcia he’d been able to dig it all up.

He called Michael the second he found the connection. “This is Dr. Bills speaking, how can I-“

“Tell me what you know about Y/n,” Spencer demanded. “Please,” he added shortly as an afterthought. This man had known. He had KNOWN and he just, what, didn’t say anything? Let Y/n keep going? Let her work with Spencer?! He was in town, how did he not stop her, knowing what she did?

There was a soft sigh. “Is this Dr. Spencer Reid then?”

He didn’t seem surprised. It agitated Spencer. How much did this man know about him to be able to read the situation and put it all together so quickly? “Yes,” he finally answered.

Michael hesitated. “What do you want to know?”

“You’re just going to tell me?” Spencer asked, eyebrows knitting together. “What about Doctor-Patient confidentiality?”

A pause. “Y/n would want me to tell you. I’d rather it be me anyway. If she did it she’d be too hard on herself and no one else was there.”

“Too hard on herself?” Spencer snapped.

Another pause. “Dr. Reid, talking as a professional, Y/n was a very strange case. She came in tears, begging me to make sense of her mental state and help her get better. Told me first session that she was stalking an FBI agent and that she felt terrible for doing it but she was in too deep to stop herself. She cane to me for help, a total mess, and did every single thing I told her to do. Worked with me and was open and honest when something didn’t work. She worked two whole years to shake you from her mind and make a better life for herself. I was there when she burned the pictures. I was there when she threw away her camera and emptied her apartment of everything she could find that reminded her of you.”

“Not everything.” He was trying to find something she was still guilty of. It seemed it had been over ages ago. “She still had my favorite book. One of her pictures inside it.”

Michael hummed, considering that. “She probably missed it. Dismissed it later, as it was just a book. I... look, Dr. Reid, I can only speculate as far as that but I can tell you from first hand experience she did a 180. Coming from someone who wanted to turn her in because I didn’t want to get involved with a federal agent and his stalker, I tell you now with full confidence that Y/n is absolutely everything. Her job. Her friends. Her time. Her sanity and peace of mind. Her self respect. Coming to terms with being a creep was hard for her to do, and she still holds herself accountable for that.”

“Why did she become friends with me?” He had to know. He was desperate. He needed something to be angry at her about. How could he hold something that had ended SIX YEARS AGO over her head now? She’d saved Spencer’s life more times than she’d put it in danger. “And- and how far did she get? Does she know where I live? Did she come into my house?”

“No,” Michael rushed. “It- well this won’t be funny to you, but we used to joke that even when she was crazy she still had enough sense to draw a line. She... never followed you home. It was something she was proud of.” S long silence between the two men. “Honestly Dr. Reid, I’m going to tell you what I told her. Years ago she had an obsession with a boy she had a crush on. A fantasy where you were the center. But she broke that herself and cleaned herself up, allowing a space for you two to genuinely form a relationship. I think whatever she’s feeling now? The relationship you guys have? I think it’s genuine, and totally safe and real. I think she is as far from crazy as one can get. She pulled HERSELF away from stalking. She’d been done a year before we even started working together. Have you ever seen anyone do that?”

Spencer had to admit, he hadn’t. He also had to admit that... he had nothing to be mad at her about. I mean he did, but he was six years too late to lord this over her. She didn’t deserve to have all her hard work ignored and years erased. She didn’t deserve to have the lowest she’d ever been - the worst thing she’d ever done - shoved in her face and down her throat. She was kind and good and caring. She deserved someone who gave her the time of day and respected the shit she went through to make a real life for herself. Who recognized all she’d done to leave behind a destructive path and end up working for the FBI in the BAU, practicing to be an agent and save lives and stop people like who she’d almost become.

Spencer rubbed their bridge of his nose, sighing. “Thank you.”

He could hear the smile in Michael’s voice when the man spoke again. “My pleasure.”

Spencer ended the call, standing up from his desk. He had even lore to explain to his team, and when Y/n woke up... they had even more to talk about.

Boy oh boy I love it when I fall for that.

Y/n didn't know what people usually dreamed about when they went into a coma, but she really hoped it wasn't anything like this. She had no idea how long she'd been out, but in her little mind palace it seemed she'd been here for eons. She remembered a time before here but it was almost like a dream, or at best a story she read when she was a child. She HAD been a child after all, even though she couldn't remember it. All she could remember was here and now, sitting in the dark of nighttime in this field, fingers every so often wrapping around the grass to feel it before letting it go and going completely still before doing it again after a while. It was silent here. No wind or night animals. Just the moon and stars and the dark, tall blobs in the corners of her vision that she assumed were trees. Or some monster that was waiting to kill her. Either way she didn't have any fear for it. Monsters weren't real after all, right? She'd been sure of that once. Now she wasn't so sure though. Monsters didn't have horns and claws and fangs like she thought, but they were just as real. She saw one every time she looked in the mirror.

Is that why she was here? Was it a punishment for everything she'd done? Had it been so wrong that she had been trapped here in this eternal nighttime, unable to move as she looked at the stars and wondered when something would happen? Nothing did happen though. She just sat there in the dark, alone. At least the air wasn't too cold and the ground was comfortable.

Hold on that wasn't right. She wasn't a monster. She'd seen monsters. She'd seen the blood on their hands, and the hunger for more of it in their eyes. She had seen the pile of bodies and the tension in bodies that would never truly leave, even if they did survive. She'd seen people get murdered live and watched as people other than just the monster with its fingers around her neck got off on it like it was some kind of porn. She'd seen a monster have sex with its girlfriend in the places it killed other women. She'd seen people murder those they loved most because they thought it would help increase their luck. She'd seen fantasies so thick and twisted that it didn't even make sense to those with normal minds. Those like her who knew when a line had been crossed.

She wasn't like those people. She had been headed down that path, changing into one of them, but she had stopped herself. She'd never be able to cover all the scars from the healing it had taken to e herself again, but she was herself as much as she could be after flipping everything on its head and making it out for the better. Well, as herself as she could be without going back to old habits. Better than her original self, even.

She was a good person. She'd made mistakes, but she'd also made up for them god damnit. She'd sacrificed everything to make herself a person who made life better for others. She didn't deserve to be alone in a field, surrounded by maybe trees maybe monsters with no grasp on the past and therefore no acknowledgement of the future. She didn't deserve to sit in the dark with no good company, trying to make sense of the here-and-now foggy place her mind had been wedged.

It was that thought that pulled her out of it. Pulled away from the dark forest with the stars that began to disappear as shadowy figures stepped int he way of her seeing them. Pulled away from the sleep, jerking her awake, eyes shooting wide as her body spasmmed, hands wrapped tightly around her sheets. Tears were already streaming down her face and something was beeping sporadically. A burning pain ripped through her body and all she could see was the last thing that had been there before she'd been taken to that place that was nowhere and everywhere all at once. A hand gripped her arm and she screamed, her vision blurred by her tears.

"Y/n." That voice. She knew that voice. It cut through her panic, such a familiar sound with so much care and concern in it. A voice she never thought she'd hear again, let alone with those emotions in it. Her eyes focused as her gaze sought out the face she was so hoping to see. To her relief, her eyes locked with another pair, brown and large with concern and warm.

"Spencer?" She croaked out, leaning away in surprise.

The room grew still and quiet until Y/n's head cleared and slowly everything came back piece by piece. The room was full of who she guessed was now her ex-coworkers. People she saw once as family, but now knew probably hated her. No one could make eye contact with her except Spencer. They were too busy looking at him as he looked at her. Y/n felt her head fall as she looked at her lap in shame. She wanted to apologize. She wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole. She wanted none of them to be there. Why didn't she just wake up alone?

When she went to pull her knees to her chest to hide her face, she winced, her hand shooting to her stomach. "Careful," a nearby doctor warned her. "You'll pull your stitches.

Then her mind cleared more, and she remembered the woman above her. The sick smile that twisted her face as the knife went in and out of Y/n again and again. Y/n closed her eyes, leaning back into bed and pulling the blanket over her head, groaning softly. Now that it seemed her freak out had passed, everyone was filing out of the room. Had they been outside waiting for her to wake up? Maybe they felt obligated since they had a relationship with her, even though they probably didn't want to anymore. Maybe they were just waiting to say goodbye and fire her.

Her mind began racing, filling with thoughts that made her chest hurt much more than her stomach did. When it went quiet outside and she thought she was alone, she began crying. She moved her hand against her mouth to muffle it, but allowed herself to let go and release the little sobs she'd been locking within. Her worst fear had come true. Her past mistakes had unearthed and were ruining her life once again. All the friendships she'd made. The job she so loved and was looking forward to becoming a bigger part in was being taken from her before she could even really start.

A hand skimmed her shoulder and she squeaked and jumped, moving her blanket down in surprise. To her horror, none other than Dr. Reid himself was sitting in the chair next to her bed, looking rather upset. He probably was listening to her self pity and loathing it. Loathing that she could feel bad for herself when he probably felt she deserved every injury she'd gotten. Did he hate her that much? Was everything so far ruined in such a short time? If she could go back in time she'd go back to the first day she saw him in that stupid coffee shop and strangle herself. How could she have been so stupid?

Self loathing like she'd not felt since she'd first realized how messed up she was began to rise up in her chest and consume her. Her chest restricted and her heart began to burn. Her throat closed and she found she couldn't breathe. "I-" She cut off, her eyebrows coming together as her face tensed as she struggled to breathe.

Spencer's concern grew. "Are you okay?"

Her hand rose to her chest, trying to massage it as if it was a tight muscle rather than a panic attack. She knew herself well enough to know that's what it was. She used to get these all the time, and still did occasionally. It started when she'd had a breakdown over her actions against Spencer and hadn't left her fully since. "I'm- fine," she managed, her face contorting further at the pain it caused her. "I-" She sucked in a breath and felt it get lodged in her throat.

"Panic attack," Spencer realized quietly.

"I'm-" But again it was cut off as she winced, shaking her head. She covered her face.

Spencer reached over, grabbing a pen off a nearby desk. It looked to be some sort of table, with food on top of it. It must have had wheels, because he pulled on it and it moved closer. He moved the food off, putting the desk in between them and setting the pen on top. "Can I show you something?" She looked over, feeling the urge to snap at him but holding it back because he didn't deserve that. Why didn't he just leave? "I can move this pen with my mind," he told her confidently. "Do you want to see?"

That caught her attention. "Uh-" But then she winced again.

He took that as a yes and stood up. He picked up the pen, holding it out for her to see. "Give me a second as I..." He rubbed it on his pants. "I have to charge it with static electricity. It makes the pen move better and connects it to my mind so I can move it better."

"So you move it with static electricity?" She asks quietly. Her words were a little breathless but came nonetheless.

He tried to hide a smile and failed. "No. I move it with my mind." She rolled her eyes and he chuckled. He placed it back on the table when he finished "charging" it and then pointed at it, sitting back down. "Now, watch this." She did just that, her eyes on the pen on the table and his finger as he pointed to it. His finger began to move forward and to her shock and wonder, the pen began to roll along with it. It went on and on until it fell off the end of the other side of the table, his hand dropping to catch it at the last second.

"Okay that was not some static electricity bullshit," Y/n accused, pointing her own finger but at him rather than at a pen on a table. "How did you do that?"

The grin on Spencer's face was contagious, pulling up Y/n's own lips. "A magician never reveals his secrets, you know that." She rolled her eyes and laughed and he relaxed. "You feel better?"

His words made her stop short. "You... Yeah." Her chest had loosened and her body had relaxed. There's wasn't any pain. She could breathe just fine. "How did you do that?"

"Distraction." That was an answer he could give her. "I took your focus away from what you were thinking and feeling and it allowed your body to move on more quickly."

Y/n was quiet for a few seconds. Long enough that the silence was noticeable and Spencer felt the urge to reach out and comfort Y/n when she looked away from him. "Why did you help me?"

He knew what the real questions behind that was and he sighed. "I talked to Michael." She looked up at him sharply. He was already looking back and their eyes locked. There was no judgement in his gaze and it surprised her. "I was... a little freaked out at first. The BAU has a stalker. One that's been following all of us and has been killing people to show that he knows our cases. Sending us gifts to let us know he's there. I thought you were..."

Y/n shook her head. "God no. I could never kill anyone, Spencer."

"I know." He offered a small smile. "Six years ago huh?"

A small groan came from Y/n. "I hate thinking about it." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "And I don't expect you to forgive me, Spenc-" He cut off, shaking her head. "Dr. Reid. I don't expect you to trust me again either. And I especially don't expect you to work me considering you don't trust me, so I'm quitting."

Spencer jerked. "Y/n, this is your dream job. What you've always wanted."

She nodded. "I know that, but there are other things that people do. I don't expect people will hire me as an officer of any kind once this goes on my record, so I'll just have to do..." She shrugged, her face set as she glared at her hands. "Something else."

"You're an idiot." She looked over, confused, to see him smiling. "I know why you're doing this, and you're a total idiot." She didn't know what to say to that, so Spencer simply continued. "Did you know that a few years ago I was kidnapped during a case? I was drugged really badly. So much so that I got addicted while on it. Or maybe it was before when I found more of it once I was home and continued to use it. Either way, it got bad pretty fast. Hotch found out and told me that he would have to let me go if this continued. You can't give someone who's drugged a gun. I even... came to work once." He winced and Y/n felt her heart shatter in her chest. She knew what he was talking about. She remembered that span of time he seemed off. Distant and faded. She'd thought it had been the job getting to him. Maybe depression. Shed never imagined something like this. "If we were all judged by the worst things we'd ever done. Held accountable for mistakes we made years ago. If we were all judged based on the lowest points in our life, I wouldn't be here either." He reached forward, taking one of her hands between two of his. "I'd like you to stay. You add a very important piece to our team, and... I'd miss you. You're my friend, Y/n. No matter what you did over half a decade ago, YOU stopped it and got better. You didn't have to be stopped by someone else. You changed it made a better life for yourself and now we have a relationship that is very real and I don't have many of those." He looked at her and suddenly 'friendship' sounded different when he said it. "I'd like you to stay."

Well, how could she say no to that?

"So what's going on with you two?"

Y/n was half asleep, her head on Spencer's shoulder. After she'd gotten out of the hospital and returned to work her and Spencer had been inseparable. Now that the air was clear they could be honest with each other. They still weren't doing anything about the feelings they both seemed to have. Y/n was nervous to cross that line and Spencer wanted her to feel free to take things as slow as needed. He'd be lying if he didn't admit that he also needed time to come to terms with her past himself. They'd had a long talk about it, with Y/n telling him what she knew and how far she'd gone in stalking him. It had been a hard thing to hear, but most of the information was fuzzy for her to recall or outdated, so it didn't matter. Even more had been overlapped by what she'd learned naturally through their current friendship, so that helped. In return of his forgiveness, she'd gone on a rant of all the stupid things she did in high school - not something he'd asked her to do, but something she'd insisted on anyway. He'd been laughing so hard at the end of her most embarrassing high school moments that all had been forgiven and it didn't seem as weird anymore. Maybe he just had a higher tolerance than he should.

Now they were here, much closer and familiar with each other as well as much more open and honest. Y/n never pressured Spencer to tell her anything, sensing the line he'd silently drawn of her getting too much into his business. She chose to be quite open herself though. To the whole team, not just Spencer. The team thought there would have been more hesitance, but before Spencer knew about all of this and it had put a little chip into their relationships, he'd been pretty sure of much stronger feelings than friendship so it had progressed pretty quickly.

It didn't matter what either of them had done in the past. They were much more concerned with what they were doing it now, and making sure that they did as much of it as possible together.

Spencer chose to hum rather than shrug, in favor of not waking Y/n. "I like her. She likes me."

"And everything else?" It was Morgan asking. The man was always protective of Spencer, but Y/n had been his friend too and he felt the need to have her back as well. Of this whole thing went south it might end up REALLY ugly.

"It doesn't matter," Spencer decided. And then he let it go. And Y/n felt her own chest release, finally really setting all those old fears free. It just didn't matter anymore.

Morgan nodded though Y/n couldn't see that. "Cool."

And that was the end of it.

"I can't believe it's real," Y/n whispered softly. She had gone through school. She was graduated. She was a REAL member of the BAU now. Badge and gun and all. She thought of her younger self looking at that TV screen as she watched the news as a child, and how proud that little girl would be to see who she had grown up to be. Her eyes turned to her friends. "I did it."

Spencer moved forward first. "And now there's something I have to do." They hadn't been as close since Y/n had gone to school, but they still talked all they could and hung out around their schedules. The most they'd seen each other was between calls at work - but then it was mostly dead bodies talk and asking her to research people who might be killers, or at least connected to them. Now was one of the few times they'd been in person, and would be the first of many as she'd be following them on cases rather than staying behind with Garcia.

He took the pause of a moment to grab her face, pulling their lips together, and she let him. They'd made a deal to wait until she was graduated so that neither of them were distracted amidst all the very important things that required their attention more. Now they didn't have to wait anymore.

The rest of the team cheered and hooted and hollered but the kiss didn't last long. It wasn't a surprise, but it had been long awaited and even the chaste exchange was something to be celebrated.

"To the future?" Y/n offered quietly.

"To the future," Spencer agreed.

"As long as you guys aren't idiots on the field," Emily groaned. Her smile let them know she was joking though.

"No promises," Y/n responded easily, the two separating so she could sass her friends that had become family so quickly. "Especially to you." She smirked and the room erupted in laughter and acknowledgement of Y/n's jab at Emily.

Yeah, they were going to be just fine.

Tag List: @ajwantsapancake @urie-bowie-mercury

Spencer Readers: @realimbo

#spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #x reader #imagine #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds imagine #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler imagine

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writingfortoomanyfandoms · 5 years ago

Text

Please Believe Me

Pairing: (Frat Boy/University!)Ashton Irwin x Reader

Summary: She overhears something that she wasn’t supposed to

Requested: No

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of sex, people being arseholes, angst

A/N: For Day Four of the 4K Write Fest, I present you with my first full length Ashton Irwin fic!!!! I hope y’all enjoy, I love writing for Ash, and this is a fic I’ve been mulling over for a while so... Please remember to let me know what you think - comment, reblog, send asks, all that stuff to keep me motivated!!!

And if you wanna check out the other things that will be coming out for the Write Fest click here: 4K Write Fest

Y/N didn’t think there was any sight in the world as beautiful as Ashton Irwin first thing in the morning.

Sunlight streamed in through the window - having not quite pulled the curtains completely closed the previous evening - and illuminated his features, still relaxed as he slept.

Y/N watched as a tired smile pulled at Ashton’s mouth, his eyes remaining closed.

“I can feel you staring at me,” he informed her, his voice groggy.

“Can you blame me?” Y/N whispered, reaching out to run her hand through his hair, which had gotten messy and tangled during the night. “Morning, Sunshine.”

“Morning, Baby,” Y/N didn’t miss the light blush which tinted Ashton’s cheeks at the nickname she had assigned him so long ago now, at the beginning of their relationship.

“What time’s your first class today?” Ashton asked, cracking his eyes open at last, his smile widening and he pulled her closer to nuzzle his face into her neck.

“Starts at ten,” Y/N mumbled and she could feel Ashton’s grin against her skin as he rolled them over so that he was on top of her, beaming down at him with the cheeky, mischievous smile that she had grown so used to.

“That gives us plenty of time then,” he teased, ducking down to press kisses across her face.

“Ash no,” Y/N grumbled, though a laugh escaped her as she protested, pushing him away from her.

“Why?” Ashton pouted, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Because I’d actually very much like to get some breakfast before going to my lecture,” Y/N informed him, rolling her eyes.

“Fine, if you insist on being a functioning human,” Ashton scoffed, rolling over and getting out of his bed, offering a hand to Y/N with a soft smile to let her know that he was only jokingly annoyed at her.

“Thank you,” Y/N whispered, allowing Ashton to pull her up.

“Wanna borrow some clothes?” Ashton offered, looking down at her bare body with a slight smirk on his face. Instinctively, Y/N covered herself with her arms, seeing the expression on Ashton’s face soften as he picked up on the action, gently prying her arms away from her. “I meant what I told you last night, baby, you’re beautiful.”

“Could I maybe borrow some clothes to wear for breakfast and I’ll put mine in the wash as we eat?” Y/N suggested. Ashton pecked her lips quickly.

“Fantastic idea,” he enthused, nodding his head.

That was something Y/N knew she would always be able to count on Ashton for - being overly enthusiastic and supportive of her every suggestion, no matter how mundane.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah, Ash?” Y/N questioned, pulling the shirt of his which he had thrown at her over her head and looking at him expectantly. He turned around where he stood in front of his chest of drawers, a pair of grey sweatpants in his hands and an uncertain, almost nervous expression on his face.

“You don’t… you wanted to do that last night, right? I just… I know it’s not something you’ve done before and… and I just wanted to check that you… actually wanted to do it?” Ashton queried, finally looking up to meet her eyes, worry evident in them.

Y/N stood up from his bed and walked over to her boyfriend, her hands linking behind his neck as she smiled at him, pushing herself up to peck his lips.

“You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met - I have no idea how you managed to get your reputation,” she informed him. “Of course I actually wanted to do what we did last night, Ash - there’s no one I would have rather had my first time with.”

Relief flooded Ashton’s face and Y/N fought the urge to kiss him again, finding it adorable that even now, the morning after he had taken her virginity, he wanted to assure her that she truly was okay with him having done as such.

“I’m glad,” was all that Ashton managed to come up with in response, handing Y/N the sweats as he smiled at her.

Ashton may have had a reputation across the university campus for being someone only caring about one night stands, but Y/N had been nothing but an exception to that rule.

He had asked her out for the first time six months ago, right at the beginning of the first term, but Y/N had turned him down as a result of being far-too aware of his aforementioned reputation. Yet, she had still turned up at the party being held by his house and Ashton had spent practically the entire evening attempting to get her attention.

Yes, maybe originally it had been because he wanted to sleep with her, he doubtless found her attractive, but the more he got to know her, the quicker his motives changed.

It took him three months to convince her to go on an actual date with him. He found out that she was a virgin a month into them officially seeing each other, and it had taken another two for her to be ready and for Ashton to convince himself that she wasn’t just doing it to make him happy.

And he was happy with her, happier than he had been when in any other relationship. So much so, that he failed to remember why he had been so fond of one night stands before she came into his life.

“Let's get you some breakfast,” Ashton said, his arm resting over her shoulders to lead her out of his room and downstairs, grabbing her discarded clothes from the floor on his way out.

“If I make the coffee can you put my clothes in the washer?” Y/N asked hopefully, looking up at him. Ashton ducked down and kissed her.

“Of course.”

Y/N went into the kitchen of Ashton’s house, saying a good morning to Calum who was sitting at the table.

“Genuine question,” Y/N started as she made her and Ashton some coffee and turned to face Calum.

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever sleep?” Calum let out an exhausted laugh.

“What gave it away?” He asked, finally tearing himself away from the laptop screen he was staring at.

“Dude, I swear you’re like eighty percent fuelled by coffee at this point, take a fucking nap, man.”

“Only eighty percent? That’s better than Mike’s estimate,” Calum teased, leaning back on his chair with a grin. “You coming to the party tonight?”

“Shit there’s a party tonight?” Y/N asked.

“It’s a Friday, of course there’s a party,” Ashton scoffed, walking into the room and hugging Y/N from behind.

“Thought you knew the schedule by now,” Calum grinned.

“You’ll be here, right?” Ashton asked her quietly, his lips by her ear.

“I’ll definitely try to, I promise.”

///

Y/N was sitting in the library with her roommate, having just finished her lecture and decided to get some studying in before she was supposed to meet some other friends for lunch and then go to work.

“Aren’t those Ash’s friends?” Her roommate, Rachel, asked. Y/N looked up from her books and over in the direction Rachel was indicating.

Sure enough, sitting a couple of tables away from them was Calum, Michael, Luke, Roy and some of the other people from Ashton’s house who Y/N wasn’t as well acquainted with.

“Yeah, the other guys from his house,” Y/N confirmed, going back to the text she was studying.

“Aren’t you going to say hi?” Rachel asked, knowing that Y/N was close with many of Ashton’s friends - particularly with his three best friends, who had been nothing but wonderfully welcoming to her when Ashton first introduced them all.

“Isn’t that weird?” Y/N questioned but Rachel shook her head with a laugh.

“No - you’re dating their best friend, you’re basically a part of that group by association,” Rachel informed her.

“Are you that desperate to get rid of me?” Y/N asked, raising her eyebrows at Rachel who rolled her eyes at her roommate.

“It’s just the polite thing to do!” Rachel explained. “And I know you - if you don’t say hello now you’ll be worried about the fact you didn’t say hello to them and think that they’ll think you’re being rude.”

“You scare me sometimes.”

“I pay attention and know you well,” Rachel countered.

“Alright, I’m going,” Y/N sighed, knowing her roommate was right and that she would otherwise be freaking out about Ashton’s friends thinking she was being rude and purposefully ignoring them.

Y/N pushed herself up out of the chair she was sat on, crossing the library floor to the group of male students who were sat a few tables over, while all of them had books open in front of the, none of them were actually studying, instead just messing around and laughing, gaining them dirty looks from the librarian for being too loud and disruptive for the usual quiet atmosphere found in the library.

None of the group noticed them as she approached and Y/N stopped short when there was a break in the conversation and she heard her name mentioned.

Y/N hesitated, knowing that she shouldn’t be eavesdropping but after hearing the laughter which followed the guy’s statement she knew that she had to know what it was that they were talking about.

“-I just don’t see why Ash’s keeping her around, she’s so clingy,” one of them - Josh, Y/N thought she remembered his name to be - stated.

“Maybe she’s a really good shag?” One of the others - maybe Nick? - theorised.

“Nah - she wasn’t putting out, remember? He was complaining about it.”

Y/N’s heart panged in her chest, biting her lip, feeling her face crumpling with the knowledge that Ashton had been complaining about her not ‘putting out’ as his friends so delicately put it.

“Well he got some last night, that much is for sure,” Jason, Y/N remembered Jason well, knowing that he had never liked her much, stated and mimicked the sounds of moaning, causing the rest of the table to laugh. “Probably means we won’t be seeing much of her anymore now Ash’s got what he wants.”

“It’ll be good to have him back to normal,” another one of them agreed.

Y/N swallowed heavily, tears burning in her eyes.

Her eyes moved to Luke, who she was closest to out of Ashton’s friends, but the blond man stared resolutely down at the table. Not agreeing with his friends, but also not defending her. Calum had a slight smile on his face, discomfort swimming in his eyes and Michael was laughing along with the group but shooting uncertain looks at Calum and Luke.

“I can’t wait for her to get the fuck out of our lives, honestly, I don’t know why Ash chose to play the long game with her. She’s just so clingy, I swear every time I look around our house she’s there.”

Y/N willed her three friends silently to speak in her defence, to tell the other guys to shut the fuck up.

To give Y/N some confidence that Ashton wasn’t just using her for sex, especially not after she had given him her virginity.

She didn’t want to think of him dumping her tonight because he was finally satisfied, because he had finally gotten what he wanted out of her.

Y/N bit her lip, doing the best she could to steady her breathing, to stop herself from crying in such a public area. Just as she was about to turn away from the group, return to Rachel and make an excuse as to why she was leaving, Luke looked up from the table, as though he could feel Y/N’s eyes on him.

His eyes widened almost as though in fear upon seeing her and his lips parted just a little, almost like he was going to call out to her, perhaps apologise for what she had doubtlessly overheard.

But before he could make a sound, Y/N spun around on her heel and returned to Rachel, quickly gathering her things from the table, blurting out an unintelligible explanation to her roommate, keeping her head down so that Rachel wouldn’t see the tears swimming in her eyes, and she bolted out of the library.

///

Y/N knew without a doubt that it was Ashton who was blowing up her phone.

She hadn’t looked at her phone all evening since returning from work, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that it was more than likely to be Ashton who was setting her phone buzzling relentlessly.

She hadn’t gone to the party.

Rachel had suggested that Y/N go and confront Ashton about what she had overheard at the library.

Y/N decided against that plan, wanting nothing more to instead call in sick to work, go home, curl up, cry, and watch reruns of Outnumbered on the TV with a tub of ice cream instead, avoiding confronting Ashton for as long as she could manage.

Now, curled up in her pyjamas, her eyes fixed lazily on the screen having stopped crying over him a few hours ago, she wondered absently whether or not Luke had informed the other guys that she had likely heard what they had been saying.

She wondered if he had passed that information onto Ashton, who was no doubt wondering why Y/N hadn’t turned up to the party as promised.

He was probably thrilled to be rid of her.

It was a bitter thought, but if Ashton really saw her as being clingy as his friends seemed to think she was, then it was probably true, that he was just waiting for an excuse to make her leave him alone.

“He’s texting me about you now!” Rachel called from her room.

“Just ignore him!” Y/N responded.

“He wants to know what’s wrong! Should I tell him he’s an arsehole?” Rachel’s voice was getting closer, evidently approaching Y/N’s room as she read Ashton’s texts inquiring about Y/N’s whereabouts.

“No… don’t do that,” Y/N sighed as Rachel entered her room.

“But he is one, you know that, right?”

“It… it didn’t come from him?” Y/N offered, hating for the little piece of hope she was maintaining that Ashton wasn’t the person his reputation would lead her to believe, the person he had spent the last three months proving to Y/N that he wasn’t.

“Y/N…” the word was filled with a mixture of sympathy and exhaustion, Rachel clearly not wanting her friend to get hurt, but also wanting to ensure that Y/N wasn’t kidding herself. “You need to…”

“I know. I was stupid to believe he actually gave a shit about me,” Y/N sighed, plucking helplessly at the blanket covering her form.

“Hey - no you weren’t. Ash… Ashton had everyone fooled, everyone thought he liked you but…”

“Can’t teach an old dog new tricks?” Y/N joked ruefully, listening to Rachel laugh a little in response. “Tell him I’m feeling sick?” She asked.

“Why?”

“I just… can’t face talking to him right now. I’ll… I’ll sort it out tomorrow,” she sighed, moving over to lay her head in Rachel’s lap.

“You don’t deserve this, Y/N/N,” Rachel responded, typing out a response on her phone before tossing it aside, dropping her hands down into Y/N’s hair, playing distractedly with the strands.

“Thanks, Rach.”

///

“Ashton? What are you doing here?” Y/N refused to open the door too much as she looked out into the hallway of her building, frowning at the presence of her boyfriend on her doorstep.

Ashton’s smile was painful for her to observe and he held up the shopping bag he had with him.

“Rach said you were feeling sick yesterday - figured I’d come and help you.” Ashton tried to move forward into her apartment but Y/N kept the door almost-closed, not missing the hurt expression which crossed his face.

“Look, I appreciate it.” Y/N stated. “But you need to go.” Ashton’s face dropped into a proper frown at her words.

“Y/N? What? Why?”

“I just… really don’t want to see you right now,” she stated honestly, trying to shut the door on his face but Ashton stuck his foot in the gap between the doorframe and the door.

“You don’t get to just say something like that and shut me out - what the fuck is going on?” He asked.

“How about you ask your friends?” Y/N hissed, realising that there was no way that she would be able to keep Ashton outside and letting go of the door, turning and stalking away from him.

Ashton followed her into her apartment, dropping his bag of shopping on the floor and slamming the door closed behind him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ashton asked, following her. Y/N saw Rachel peek her head out of her door into the hallway and glare at Ashton.

“The fuck are you doing here, Irwin?”

“Seeing my girlfriend? Who you told me was sick yesterday?” Ashton offered, not even bothering to make an attempt at masking his contempt.

“Hey - don’t be an arsehole to her just because we found out the fucking truth yesterday!” Y/N exclaimed, whipping around to glare at the man who, this time the previous morning, she had been completely wrapped up in.

“What truth?” Ashton demanded, running his hand through his hair and letting out an exasperated laugh. “I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about!”

“So Luke didn’t tell you,” Y/N said, nodding her head. “Figures.”

“Didn’t tell me what?” Ashton implored her to tell him what was going on, what he had managed to do to fuck up their relationship so badly in the space of a day, despite him having not seen her since bidding her a good day the previous morning when she left his place.

“You got what you wanted, Ash, I can’t give you anymore. Please… please stop doing this,” Y/N’s eyes closed and she willed herself not to cry. She had done far too much crying already. She opened her eyes again, shaking her head.

“What did I want? What did I do?” Ashton begged, trying to take her hands but Y/N yanked them away from him.

“You already got me to sleep with you. You already convinced me to love you. There’s nothing else I can offer unless your plan is to publicly humiliate me.” Ashton gaped at her, seemingly speechless. Y/N gave a wry smile. “I heard the guys talking in the library.”

“W-What guys? Who said that?”

“Your friends. Some of the guys who live with you.”

“Luke? Mike? Cal?” Ashton demanded incredulously.

“No,” Y/N conceded and Ashton let out a breath.

“The rest of them know fuck all about me and I don’t really give a shit what they think, they’re all arseholes.”

“Well the other three didn’t seem to disagree with anything they were saying. Apparently I’m also far too clingy,” she added, wrapping her arms around herself, trying to hold herself together against the words that had cut her to her very core the previous day. Ashton’s face softened at her words.

“Y/N-”

“It’s not new news. Everyone knows that you don’t do relationships, Ashton. I just… you knew I was a virgin. Why the fuck did you decide to make me one of your… your conquests.”

“You have never and will never be… be a conquest to me,” Ashton stated, his chin jutting out defiantly, daring her to disagree with him.

“Ashton-”

“No! Those pricks know next to nothing about me! Yes, maybe I wasn’t… a relationship person before but… but you’ve made me realise why people have them,” Ashton took an uncertain step towards her. “I love seeing you wearing my clothes,” he told her. “And I love that I get the pleasure of waking up next to you when you stay the night, and I love taking you out on dates, and that you’re always around. I hate it when you’re not around me, ask the guys, I complain to them that you’re not there,” Ashton was practically pleading with her to understand him. “Yeah, maybe you’re clingy,” he shrugged. “There are worse things to be, especially considering I’m far more clingy than you are - honestly, I’m a total attention whore.” Despite herself, Y/N laughed, causing Ashton to smile in relief.

“You were never a… a conquest to me. I never wanted you to feel that way and I’m so sorry that some dumbasses I happen to share a house with ever made you doubt how I feel about you,” Ashton reached out to cup her jaw with his hand, his hazel eyes swimming with relief and adoration when she didn’t move away from him. “I wanted to sleep with you because… because I realised I loved you and… and I’ve never loved anyone before. But I wanted to make sure you were certain first. Those other guys they just… they don’t understand what we have because… because you’re right. Everything I just said goes totally against my reputation and the reputations of most of those guys,” Ashton stepped forwards again so that they were practically chest to chest. He smiled at her, a proper smile which crinkled his eyes and left deep dimples on his cheeks. “But I think I’d rather gain a new reputation with you than maintain that one.”

Y/N pushed herself up to kiss him. It had been less than twenty-four hours since she had seen and kissed him last but she craved him, and it felt like an eternity had passed.

“I’m sorry I... I’m sorry I listened to them,” Y/N whispered, resting her head against his shoulder. Ashton hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head.

“I’m sorry I gave you and them reasons to believe that it may be the case.”

Ashton and Y/N stood together in Y/N’s hallway, Y/N listening to and taking refuge in the comforting sound of his heartbeat thudding in his chest as she reflected on their argument, surprise overtaking her features as she remembered what Ashton had let slip.

“Wait - you love me?” She asked and Ashton laughed at her.

“I thought you already knew that?” Y/N kissed him again.

“I love you too.”

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin fanfiction #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin x reader #ashton irwin fanfic #ashton irwin fluff #ashton irwin angst #ashton irwin imagines #ashton irwin x y/n #university!Ashton Irwin #frat boy!Ashton Irwin #University!AU #frat boy!AU #courts 4K Write Fest #courts writings

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theladyofdeath · 5 years ago

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Alone in the Ashes {20}

A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfction, characters belong to Sarah J Maas. Modern au. Revolves around Nesta x Cassian, Feyre x Rhysand, and Elain x Azriel. Other characters appear throughout. Based on multiple prompts sent in by anons tbr below.

Warning: Mature content. Alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, drugs, sex, language, eating disorders.

For summary & chapter index, click > Alone in the Ashes {Acotar}

Word Count: 3.0k

A/N: More fluff? “But, Tara, that’s so out of character for you.” “But, Tara, what ever happened with Tamlin?” “TARA WHY IS EVERYTHING GOING SO WELL” solid questions......

You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetime’s worth. - Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

“Show me!” Feyre called, yelling behind the velvet curtain. Mor was trying on bridesmaid dress after bridesmaid dress, giving Feyre her own personal runway show.

Which she deserved. She was the bride-to-be, after all.

“Alright, okay,” Mor muttered from inside of the dressing room. “This one has a low back and a high neckline. And, I must say, my ass looks fantastic.”

Feyre laughed but that laughter faded once Mor came out, because she was right - she looked stunning. It hugged her body without being too risque and the deep, lavender color suited her perfectly.

“I love that,” Feyre said, eyes wide. “It’s perfect. Even the color. That’s our color. That’s your dress. You’re getting that.”

“Am I?” Mor asked.

“Yes, and if you don’t, I’m kicking you out of the bridal party.”

Mor snorted. “Fine. I accept. Now, I’m making you try on dresses.”

“My sisters should be here,” Feyre said, just as she had every other time Mor had suggested otherwise.

“You don’t have to get one today,” Mor said. “Please? Just try on a few then we can go get lunch.”

“Fine,” Feyre groaned, hopping up from the couch she was sitting on.

The owner of the boutique came over and helped Feyre into a room before Mor, now changed into her shorts and tank top, went crazy, bringing her a handful of dresses.

“Take your time,” Mor called, closing the curtain behind her. “I’ll be sitting right out here, let me know if you need help.”

Feyre sighed, taking in the line up of dresses before her. At first, she slipped on a ballgown, but the moment she stepped out of the dressing room and looked into the mirror, she wanted to yank it off her body and burn it. Too puffy, too frilly. She felt like she was going to prom - been there, done that. She went through two more that even Mor had cringed at before setting her eyes on a slim fit, beaded gown with an open back and a low, sweetheart neckline. It had thin straps and a long, beautiful lace train.

Feyre slipped it on.

She stepped out of her dressing room and looked into the mirror.

Mor gasped, eyes lined with tears.

“Feyre,” she breathed.

“I know,” Feyre said, shaking her head. “Damn you, Mor! I was supposed to wait for my sisters!”

They both broke into a fit of laughter as Feyre admired the dress in the mirror. It was perfect. It was flawless. There was nothing about it that Feyre didn’t like.

Rhysand wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off of her.

She was barely able to keep her hands off of herself.

It was just over her budget; but, she didn’t really care. She wouldn’t be telling Rhysand, who she scolded just the night before about ordering too many flowers - but, she didn’t really care. She would only ever have one wedding dress.

“How long will it take for this dress to come in if I ordered it today?” Feyre asked.

The owner went to a little computer where she typed away for a minute before saying, “Six months.”

All the breath left Feyre’s body.

But Mor wasn’t taking that shit.

“There isn’t any way it can get in sooner?” Mor asked. “Can she buy the one she has on and have it fitted? She’s getting married in October and that dress needs to be on her body when the day comes.”

The owner looked back and forth between Mor and Feyre.

Her lips thinned. “I will see what I can do.”

She went back to work on her computer as Mor snapped an endless string of pictures on her phone of Feyre in her dress, which she promised to send to Elain.

Five minutes later, Elain had sent a reply: G E T I T N O W

Amren’s replying text was similar: If she doesn’t get that dress I will break in after hours and steal it for her.

If Elain approved, it was a must.

If Amren was talking about breaking the law, it wasn’t unusual, but it was still a must.

The owner was still trying to figure out a way to get it in sooner, now speaking to someone on the phone in hushed tones.

Feyre looked in the mirror, again. It was beautiful. Stunning. She could imagine it, paired with a simple pair of heels and a long, simple veil. She could picture Rhysand’s face as she walked toward him in the dress. He would watch her with wide, teary eyes, and a small smile, full of utter adoration.

It was the dress.

Half an hour had passed before the owner rejoined them. The elderly woman sighed, as if all of her energy had been sucked away. “I can get it here in two months-”

Feyre heard nothing else because Mor had jumped up, off the couch, and was running to Feyre with her arms wide open. Laughing, Feyre let Mor embrace her, all while picturing her wedding day.

What a perfect day it would be.

~~~~~

Cassian had gone for a jog along the Sidra, listening to his hype playlist through his earbuds. It was a perfect Sunday afternoon. The sun was bright, high in the sky, not a cloud to be seen. The flowing waters of the Sidra were sparkling beside him.

Even Bryaxis had a little pep in his step, when usually he was trailing behind Cassian and whining after a mile.

They stopped near a little park where Cassian plopped down in the grass, Bryaxis beside him. After taking a drink from his water bottle, he squirted some into Bryaxis’ mouth, too, when his phone went off.

Nesta’s name popped up on his screen.

All of these movies you’re making me watch from the 80s are weird as fuck.

Cassian smiled at his screen before typing back, Which one are you watching now?

It was no secret that Cassian loved movies, so when Nesta asked for recommendations, he had given her a longass list and a giant stack from his personal collection. She had been living with Elain for about two weeks now, and was loving her sister’s company. Cassian hadn’t seen her much, though. He helped her move in, as he promised he would, but he was aware she needed space for now, and he was okay giving her that.

Didn’t keep them from having little text conversations nearly every day, though.

The Lost Boys, she sent back, with a little vampire emoji.

What?? Cassian texted. It’s a classic!

Oh, please, she replied. It’s obvious why you’re such a fan.

Bryaxis had climbed onto his owner’s lap and Cassian was scratching his head, between his ears, when he sent, And why is that?

It took her a minute to reply in which Cassian used to stretch out his long, sweaty legs.

Then the reply came: Bc you’re basically Michael

Cassian cocked his head to the side, even though she wasn’t around to see it. Untrue.

He could imagine her rolling her eyes. Especially when he got her text back. Long hair, motorcycle, thinks he’s hot as shit? Yeah, you’re Michael.

Cassian looked down at Bryaxis. “Nesta’s being mean, Ax.”

Bryaxis’s tail went wild at the mention of her name.

Cassian’s only reply was, I am hot as shit.

Nesta replied with the eye-rolling emoji.

Then, she sent, I’m almost done with the stack you gave me, and as weird as they may be, I wouldn’t mind if you brought me some more?

Before Cassian could reply, Nesta followed the text with, Maybe tomorrow? If you’re not busy after work.

Cassian looked back down to Bryaxis as he grinned. He didn’t know why he was grinning, felt ridiculous at grinning to himself and his dog in the middle of a crowded park, but he couldn’t stop that stupid little grin.

Sure. I’ll be over around 6?

Six gave him enough time to run home, shower, and grab another stack of DVDs she would surely be calling weird as fuck in no time.

Cassian finished stretching, did thirty sit-ups, and was back on his feet, Bryaxis’s leash in hand when Nesta replied: Perfect.

~~~~~

Elain looked at her phone, where she had set a timer.

It had only been fifteen seconds.

The bathroom was small, but she paced back and forth relentlessly. She had chugged half a gallon of water, Nesta watching her curiously as she did so, before excusing herself to go to the bathroom.

They had been watching some vampire movie from the 80s. Not exactly Elain’s thing. She was glad for any excuse that politely removed her from the room.

Even if said excuse was anxiety ridden.

Another glance at her phone.

Thirty seconds.

Her pacing continued, her fingers drumming wildly against her thighs.

It wouldn’t be the worst thing, right? I mean...Azriel would be great, of course, but it certainly wasn’t ideal. They had only been dating a few months, only began sleeping with each other the month before.

If it was true, it must have happened that first night, or one of the nights soon after.

It was too soon.

Elain’s anxiety shot through the roof.

She looked at her phone.

Forty-five seconds.

Two minutes felt like a lifetime when everything was on the line.

She was only a week late, but even when she was barely eating, her period had always remained normal - perfectly spaced out, returning like clockwork the third week of every month.

Her eyes met her phone.

One minute down.

One minute to go.

“It’s okay,” she breathed, shaking out her hands, as if that would somehow make the situation better. “It’s alright. Breathe.”

By the Cauldron, what if it was positive?

Would it really be okay?

Azriel would freak out, without a doubt.

He already had Mila. She couldn’t add more onto his plate.

She looked at her phone.

One minute, twenty seconds.

But he was so good with Mila. He would be an amazing father. So gentle and kind, so loving and passionate.

But would he want to have kids with Elain?

She imagined he hadn’t even thought about such a thing yet. Elain hadn’t even thought about it, not until she went eight days over her start day without her period.

For the Mother’s sake, they hadn’t even used the word love with one another yet.

Phone.

One minute, forty-seconds.

Elain couldn’t breathe. She slumped down to the floor, on top of the gray, fluffy rug, and closed her eyes.

In, out.

Don’t panic.

Panic doesn’t help.

But she couldn’t help it. Her eyes began to water, the tears trickling down her pale cheeks.

She suddenly had a feeling that everything was about to change. She was a woman. She knew her body. Either it had gone into shock with all the lifestyle changes she had made in the recent weeks, or this was all real.

Her timer went off, and her eyes shot open.

She took her phone off the counter and silenced the timer.

Then, with a shaky hand, she pulled the test off the counter.

Pregnant.

She read it twice, ten times, twenty times, that single word the only word she could think of.

She was pregnant.

Pregnant.

With child.

With Azriel’s child.

A fist pounded on the door, scaring Elain shitless. She swore, quietly, scrambling up from the floor.

“Hey, it’s Az. Nesta said you came upstairs. I assume you’re in there, since….well, you’re not anywhere else up here. Hope you don’t mind me coming by early. I dropped Mila off with Mor and Feyre to look for a flower girl dress. I was told I’m not allowed to see it before the wedding day, so...”

Elain took a deep breath, hoping her voice remained steady when she said, “Hey! Oh, I’m just...fixing my contacts.”

A pause. “Okay. I’ll go downstairs and wait with Nesta. I’ll catch the end of The Lost Boys.”

“Great,” Elain said, and her voice broke.

Azriel didn’t move from the other side of the door. She could see the shadows from his feet. “You okay? You sound upset.”

“No, no, I’m fine,” she promised him, although she obviously wasn’t. “Just a little emotional today.”

“Alright,” Azriel said, uncertainly. “Can I open the door?”

“I’m naked,” she blurted.

“While putting in contacts?” Azriel said, huffing a laugh. “Not that it’s anything I haven’t seen before.”

The doorknob turned, and Elain cursed herself for not locking the door.

She quickly hid the test stick behind her back as he came in.

He took one look at her red cheeks, her blurry eyes, and frowned. “Hey…”

She was frozen in place as he stepped toward her, as he took her face into his hands and wiped away her tears. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head, and Azriel pulled her into his arms.

His body stilled.

He was taller than her by quite a bit, no doubt looking down as she planted her face into his chest.

Down at Elain’s hands, behind her back, gripping the test so hard that her knuckles were white.

Azriel reached around her and took it from her hands. He stepped back, looking down at it.

Pregnant.

He took a step back, studied it as if he wasn’t seeing it correctly.

His face was unreadable.

Elain’s hands flew over her mouth as she broke into a sob.

Azriel’s gaze jerked up, his eyes widened as she cried. “Hey, hey, no..”

He set the test down on the counter and pulled Elain into his arms. He held her tightly against him as she wept.

“I’m sorry,” she choked out, voice muffled against his shirt.

“About what?” he whispered. “You don’t have to apologize, El. Okay? Don’t apologize.”

She nodded, and when she looked up at him, his hazel eyes shone. “Please tell me what you’re thinking.”

He hesitated, his hands still rubbing her back. “I’m not….I’m in shock, I guess. But, I’m not….mad, Elain, I think you think I’m mad.”

She took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. “I’m in shock, too.”

“Okay,” he breathed. “Well, that’s good.”

Elain laughed, softly. “How is that good?”

“Pretty sure shock is normal in these situations,” he said, quietly.

All the tension left Elain’s shoulders. “I’m scared.”

“About what?” he asked, voice low.

“All of it,” she said. “Carrying a child, birthing a child, and everything that comes after that. And you...Azriel…” Her words trailed off, but Azriel didn’t say anything. He watched her and waited, patiently. “You would be an amazing dad, Az, but I don’t want to trap you.”

His brows furrowed as he brushed her newly fallen tears away. “Is that what you think? That I would stay with you because you’re pregnant? Or, that I would even want to leave you in the first place?”

Elain looked down. She shrugged. She wasn’t sure what she thought, wasn’t sure how to sort her thoughts.

Azriel lifted her chin back up with his fingers. “Do you want to have this baby?”

It was the same question that Elain had stayed up the night before asking herself, over and over again. If it’s positive, do you want to keep it? Elain laid her palms flat against his chest, feeling the hard muscle beneath. Although afraid, she felt completely confident when she answered, “Yes.”

Azriel smiled, tentatively, and nodded. “Then I’m going to be here, okay? You’re not trapping me, Elain. You couldn’t trap me if you tried. I know we’ve been together for a few months, and we’re still in that honeymoon stage, and I won’t pretend that I know what the future holds....But I do know that I love you.” He kissed her forehead. “And I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to do this, and it’s going to be okay, okay?”

Elain laid her palm against his cheek, brushing away the tear he had that fell. “You love me?”

She knew Azriel, knew he didn’t say things unless they were true. And, after talking with Mor, she knew Azriel had never said that word to another woman.

Azriel’s eyes softened. “I do. But, you don’t have to-”

“I love you, too,” she breathed, interrupting his modesty.

And it was true.

Yes, she had loved Graysen, but it was a false love. She loved the idea of Graysen, loved the life they had built, but it wasn’t true, Graysen had proven that in the end.

But with Azriel…

Azriel was truth, kindness, gentleness, passion, genuity, love. He was everything she needed for herself, all wrapped up into one, perfectly imperfect man.

And she loved that about him.

She loved him.

He smiled down at her, and it was one of those smiles that she had only seen a handful of times from him. His teeth showed, his eyes went bright, his plump lips curved upward. That smile...it was an image that Elain kept in her memory for her darkest of days.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tag List (to be tagged, comment or send me an ask!)

@throne-of-ashes-and-beauty @starkovsnesta @redisriding @photofeesh

@mariamuses @tswaney17 @amaranthas-whore @awesomelena555

@danika-defendyr @rachaels14 @faequeenaelin @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn

@hashtolanashoba @poisonous00 @chemicha @samotita

@mynewdreamwasyou @humming-asong

@candid-confetti @awkward-avocado-s @sensitiveillyrian

@my-fan-side @queen-of-glass @stars-falling

@ifangirlninja @sleeping-and-books @burritowithfeels

@morebooks-pls @kindofawalkingpoem

@sannelovesreading @empressnesrynfaliq

@halstudies @sleeping-and-books @alwayss-reading

@amren-courtofdreams @b00kworm

@wifeofchrishemsworth @booksstorm

@goldr0ses @blackjacks-donuts

@humanexile @over300books

@booksbooksbooksworld @starrynightsbooks

@girl-who-reads-the-books

@mis-lil-red

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@negativenesta

@argentumstella

@itsme-malin

@flora-and-fae

@feyrethedarklady

@starryandbooks

@gingerglides @candid-confetti

@gloriouspaintercreatorbandit @iliketoasterstrudels

@6255igntm @moondancer-204

@littlehoneyybee @acourtofbookworms

@the-regal-warrior

@awkward-avocado-s @nightcourtcinnamonroll

@aelin-rowan-whitehorn @bamchickawowow

@julemmaes @itsme-malin

@regular-nessian-trash @made-of-stardust-and-wanderlust

@ugh-avila @awkward-avocado-s

@superspiritfestival @the-dark-swan @girlgotattitude448 @eversincebeirut

@midnightrose-reader @lord-douglas-the-third @thestarguidingyouhome

@empress-ofbloodshed @starkovsnesta @nickjgoodsell

Prompts:

{ “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever met that asshole” - Feysand } -anonymous

{ “How about Nessian needing to fake date when they go home for the holidays?!” } - anonymous

{ “could u pls do like an elriel fic where azriel is like this mysterious bad boy and elain is a goody two shoes lik aaaaa i cant get that image out of my head” } - anonymous

#acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #sjm #fanfic #fanfiction #modern au #feysand #elriel #nessian #tacmc AITA #the end is coming

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elefics · 4 years ago

Text

torment / chapter 5

A/N: I’ve barely proofread this, sorry if it’s a little wack (also the ending is a bit rushed, I ran out of motivation lmao). Thank you for the love on this fic!!! I appreciate it sm :’))

word count: 2.8k

The café was practically empty. Streetlights shone in from the sidewalk outside. There was one bald man guy behind the counter, who took orders and cooked all at the same time. When the cook called me sweetheart with a leering grin, Michael’s hand snaked around my waist protectively. I liked the feeling.

A few yawning men stumbled in occasionally for coffee, but other than them, we were alone in our booth by the window. The light inside was warm, casting Michael’s features in gold. I couldn’t take my gaze away for a second.

Michael ordered the French toast. I went with pancakes. We sipped coffee in contented silence for a while, before he finally spoke.

“I know you feel weird around me. Why didn’t you say anything to them?” Michael asked, tilting his head slightly. I thought of Cordelia and the way she crumpled to the ground earlier.

“To cover for you. Take some heat off.” I replied instinctively.

“Cover what? What do you think is going on?” His eyes darkened.

I shrugged. “I know something’s going on. I know there’s more to you. I just haven’t figured it out yet.” I waited for him to explain; I was tired of guessing.

He hesitated, tearing at the corner of his napkin and biting the corner of his lip.

“I need you to tell me, Michael. If I know what’s happening, I can protect you.” I said, meaning every word of it.

He smiled softly, grateful. “There’s just too much to explain,” He sighed. “I don’t know how to.”

“Michael Langdon, prince of debonair, doesn’t have the right words?” I teased.

He rolled his eyes. I spotted a tiny tremble in his fingers as they interlocked with mine across the table.

“How about we start with questions. How goddamn old are you?” I asked, smiling. I was getting sick of my own voice asking the same question, over and over.

“It’s complicated. I don’t age like...you.” Spotting my confused look, he continued. “I don’t age in human years. I guess I’m something like twenty, but I feel…ancient.” He sighed with the weight of a thousand years on his breath.

Maybe it was the nerves, but I burst out laughing. Michael’s brow furrowed, and I saw his walls going up right in front of me.

“No, no, Michael I’m sorry. Human years?” I asked.

“This is stupid. I can’t.” His jaw clenched as he stared out the window. I watched a nerve in his temple jump as he avoided looking at me.

I said, leaning my head closer to force him to look at me. “Hey, I have all night. I’m here.”

“I think it’ll be easier if I show you. Can I?” He asked, taking my hand in his warm ones.

I nodded slowly, my pulse racing. His skin seared against mine, but I refused to pull away. Michael closed his eyes and exhaled slowly through his nose. In seconds, I sunk through the ground into darkness.

Through the murky blackness, I saw a small child, covered in blood.

I heard a deep voice whisper, snake-like, behind his ear: kill, kill, kill. I saw dead animals across the child’s bedroom floor, and how he used their insides like finger-paint. I felt his ears burning, then pure rage. I felt the sticky warmth of the priest’s blood on his hands.

I felt the stares of other kids his age prickling the back of his neck, the feeling of being watched like a tiger in a cage. I felt his bones crack and stretch, aging a decade overnight. I felt the ache in his chest when his grandmother feared him. I felt his fathers abandon him, his birth mother ignore him. I felt the terror, the longing for guidance. I felt the darkness creeping in when he was lost, when he felt he had nowhere else to turn. I felt a void.

Then, I felt the searing heat of the dark room, and heard the circling crows outside, as the hooded people came. I felt sleep in his eyes as he stumbled down the stairs. I felt how their admiration made his heart soar. I felt how he finally, almost, maybe…belonged.

When Michael let go of my hand, I snapped back into reality. My breaths came panicked and hard, and I felt tears sliding down my nose. “What was that?” I asked shakily.

“I’m not normal. Not human. My father – he’s bigger than all of that.” Michael’s expression was blank, assessing my every movement.

“Michael, who is your father?” I asked, staring at the table.

“You won’t like it.” He whispered, staring at his cutlery. He didn’t look up.

“What is he?” I asked again, tears beginning to blur my vision.

“Satan.”

Dread filled my insides. Before I could cry or scream or recoil, I summoned that blue light inside me again, filling myself with calm. I tried to keep a level head, for Michael’s sake. I could see his bottom lip trembling and his eyes darting across my face frantically. He needed me right now.

“Are you afraid?” He asked quietly.

“No.” I replied slowly. It was a lie, but I didn’t want it to be.

“I know you are. This is stupid. I shouldn’t have told you that. I really shouldn’t-” Michael was spiralling.

“Miriam,” I said softly, pieces falling into place in my memory. “She’s who you lived with, after your family left?” I asked.

He paused, then smiled and nodded. “She’s the best.”

Talking about Miriam seemed to put him at ease. I was suddenly very aware that he likely had tenfold the power I had and could snap my spine clean in half, if he felt so inclined. Maybe it was a good idea to keep our conversations light. But I couldn’t help myself – I was standing on the edge of the cliff, and I wanted to jump. I had to know what Michael was and break him down to pieces, make sense of every part.

“And she’s a…Satanist?” I asked, trying to keep my tone level and respectful.

“They just have a bad reputation. It’s about freedom, and choice. It’s about not setting limits and constraints on yourself. Everything is within your reach.” He murmured, lining my fingertips up with his.

An image problem. That’s what the issue was, according to Michael. I knew a little about religion – enough to know what this boy was and what he was designed to bring about. I swallowed fear with every gulp of oxygen.

“I need you to say it, Michael. I need to hear it.” I whispered, staring at the ground.

“I’m the Antichrist.” He said flatly. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. I guess to him, it was. He’d lived with that label, that target, on his back.

I remembered how uneasy Cordelia was around Michael, how she looked at him like he was a freak, an anomaly. If only she knew what I knew. If only she knew I was here now. Deep inside myself, wound tightly between my ribs, I felt like I was committing treason, some crime against humanity. Maybe I was, and just didn’t know it yet. My Supreme – it wasn’t Michael, at least it didn’t feel like it yet – didn’t trust this boy in front of me. But being here, talking and listening, learning about each other, I knew it couldn’t be all true. I’d felt his anguish, viscerally. I’d felt how lost he was. I knew him.

“What does that mean for you?” I asked.

“I don’t know yet. I’m supposed to bring about the end times, but I haven’t gotten my instruction manual in the mail yet.” He said bitterly.

“Is that what you want?” I asked.

His eyes met mine and I saw a flicker of panic in them. Nobody had ever asked him that before, I thought. In that moment, I saw a boy who was so deeply lost, he didn’t even know himself. I saw a boy who wanted to be good, desperately. I saw a boy with a future and destiny imposed on him, but one which he was never really sold on.

“I – I don’t know.” He replied softly. My brain buzzed with questions but was swiftly interrupted.

“Order up,” The bald cook smiled, sliding our plates in front of us. “Beautiful couple, by the way. Enjoy.”

“We’re not-” Michael and I spoke at the same time, then smiled.

Michael didn’t hesitate to dig in – all this talk of fate and apocalypse certainly hadn’t ruined his appetite.

“What about you? What shit did your parents put in your head about your future?” He changed the subject thickly through a mouthful of syrup.

“They thought I’d be a doctor or a lawyer when I was younger,” I laughed. I remembered my toy stethoscopes and the shelves of books I’d often escape into growing up. “Guess that went out the window a few years back.”

“You’re not a disappointment.” He said suddenly, eyes serious. My stomach flipped.

“Never said I was.” I smiled teasingly, but my insides warmed at his reassurance. I had a feeling it was something we both needed to hear, as much as each other.

“Where are they now?” Michael asked.

“My Dad left a long time ago. I barely know him. Mom – Mom doesn’t really talk to me anymore.” I faltered.

Michael nodded, his knee brushing mine under the table.

“Can you see into my dreams?” I asked suddenly, remembering I’d never asked. There were so many other, more important things we should have been talking about, but I had no idea where to start. It was like staring into the sun. All I could do was squint.

Michael smirked, “And change them.”

My mouth fell open. “What else?” I asked.

“I can do lots of things,” He smiled like a proud child. “There’s a lot I haven’t figured out yet, but I can feel it growing, inside me. Like a current.”

“Must be quite a feeling.” I said quietly, scraping my fork across my plate. Silence spread across the table like fog. It was a weird thing to say, and I knew it immediately. It made me look jealous and insecure. Maybe I was. But he didn’t need to hear that.

“You’re a force of nature. I like being around you.” He said simply. I didn’t know how to reply other than to smile.

Michael shifted in his seat. “What are you thinking about?”

“Can’t you hear it anyway?” I asked, rolling my eyes.

“Only when I really want to. It’s like radio static, I have to tune into it to hear clearly.”

“What else do you hear?” I asked softly.

“My father, sometimes. When he talks, it’s like I have no choice but to listen. It fills up my whole skull until I feel like it’ll burst.” He explained.

“Does he talk to you…often?” I asked nervously.

“Not really. There isn’t exactly a bring your son to work day in Hell. We don’t play baseball on Saturdays,” He said wryly, before his expression changed to something more serious. “We’re not that close.” Michael confessed.

I could tell this hurt him. After allowing me into his memories, Michael felt so much more familiar to me. I understood him, at least more than I did yesterday.

“Have you met him? Like in person?” I asked. I thought of my own father and how I’d forgotten if his eyes were brown like mine, or a deep hazel, like Mom’s.

Michael smiled, the way you would at a small child asking you to play with them. “He’s not human, Lyla. He doesn’t have a body. If I did meet him in person, I’d just feel bad for the vessel.”

That sent a prickle of cold anxiety up my spine. Vessel. Hearing him talk about people, flesh and blood human beings, as merely a means to get from point A to point B, was unsettling.

“What are you? Human? Or a vessel, too?” I pressed.

Michael smirked. His hand under the table brushed higher up my knee. I felt goose bumps spring up along the hem of my skirt. “If I was a vessel, could I do that?” His other hand reached for mine, bringing it up to his warm lips to kiss my knuckles softly. “Or this?”

“Yes, you probably could.” I sighed.

“Smart girl. Too smart for me, maybe. Only trouble comes from that.” He murmured. It seemed like a reflection to himself, like field notes on an animal he was studying in the wild.

I wriggled in my seat, uncomfortably hot under his stare.

“You’re scared. I can hear your blood rushing.” He observed, leaning back against his booth seat. His arms hung loosely – one along the back of the seat and one by his side. God, he was pretty. But the more I looked, the more I noticed: the way his skin sunk back under his eyes, faint greyish circles of fatigue. A tiny freckle on his chin. The sharp curve of his cheekbones. Before long, I was staring back, meeting his gaze without batting an eye. We sat there for a long time in silence, drinking each other in. We weren’t even touching and somehow it was one of the most intimate things I’d ever experienced. I felt like he knew me, inside out and backwards. I felt like I was starting to know him the same way.

“Hey, lovebirds. We close in twenty. Finish your coffee before it gets cold and get out of here.” The bald man called from the kitchen, breaking the spell between us.

Michael blinked a few times, like he was seeing sunlight for the first time in days. I idly wondered what he looked like first thing in the morning, right after he woke up. He smirked like he knew.

Producing a slim black wallet from his pocket, Michael threw a fistful of bills on the table. It was way more than the cost of what we’d ordered, but before I could say anything, let alone try to pay for myself, his hand was around mine as he pulled me into the night.

We walked in silence for four blocks. I counted our steps and tried to keep my heartbeat under control. It was embarrassing that he could hear it sometimes, and that when I tried to read him, all I got was flustered.

“Thank you for paying.” I squeezed his hand after a while.

Michael frowned and shrugged, like he’d forgotten already. He pulled me closer against him, wrapping his arm around my waist. He laughed softly.

“What’s funny?” I asked.

“Nothing.” He shook his head, grinning at the pavement.

“What is it?” I whined, hoping it wasn’t me he found so comical. Like he’d finally realised I wasn’t worth it, an ‘aha’ moment, after which he’d shortly disappear into thin air like a daydream.

Michael stopped abruptly, grabbed my hands and tugged me into an alley. In one fluid movement he had me pinned against a brick wall, his body hot against my skin.

“Lyla, Lyla, Lyla.” He whispered my name like he liked how it felt on his tongue. “What am I going to do with you?” He murmured, his face so close to mine I ached to kiss him.

I stared up at him, only one thought stuck in my mind: I could stay like this forever.

“You know what I am. Why aren’t you running for the hills?” He asked tenderly.

“I don’t buy it. I don’t think you’re as bad as you say you are, as everyone thinks you are.” I said defiantly, jutting my chin up at him.

Michael smiled. “Maybe you’re not as smart as I thought, then.” He hooked his forefinger under my chin, holding my face still with his thumb.

“If you were me, what would you do?” I asked, looking directly into his icy eyes.

“I would go somewhere very, very far away, and never speak to me again.” He whispered.

“Is that what you want me to do?” I asked. His eyes grazed down my neck, then back up to my lips.

“Not at all.” He said. Then he pressed against me, kissing me hard. I thought it was impossible to get any closer, but he proved me wrong every few moments, pushing my back against the cold brick behind me. His lips were soft against mine but his tongue had total control; I was completely dizzy in his arms. His hands trailed to my waist, fingertips tracing and tugging at the stitching of my skirt. My head reclined in pleasure and he took the opportunity to pepper my neck with sloppy kisses and bites. In the shadows of the alley, I wanted all of him, and I knew in my heart he felt the same.

I knew things just got complicated. I knew they were only doomed to get worse. We were different, Michael and I, on molecular levels. I knew this was wrong and that his lips against my neck were some kind of betrayal. But in this moment, I couldn’t care about anything else if I’d tried.

taglist (i can’t remember who asked to be on here so if you want to be added or removed let me know!): @theneverendinghunger @outpostmichael @leatherduncan @langdons-butterfly-deactivated2 @angelicmichael @drasangel

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honney-boy · 4 years ago

Text

Zoo Day With Kiara

Pairing: kiara carrera x f!reader

warnings: nothing more than some fluffy girlfriend vibes🤙🏽

a/n: I went to the zoo the a couple of weeks ago for the first time in two years and I had so much fun! I could stop thinking about a pogues zoo day (might make a post) or Kiara and her girlfriend just hanging at the zoo. Bare with me, it's my first hc :)

Alright here it goes

Kie would definitely be the type of girlfriend to surprise you with a surprise date to the zoo

She knows how much you love animals and she just so happens to love them just as much

That's something you guys bonded over when you first met

It was definitely a trip worth while. She took the time to plan it and your day

But anyway, you guys would have been with each other the night before and she'd tell you she would be by your house in the morning

Like 8am type shit

The next morning she would text you a sweet good morning text. Something like 'good morning beautiful' and 'I'll be at your house in 15 :)’

Even though you had to get up too early for your liking, you had nothing to do, so why not spend the day your lovely and beautiful girlfriend

She would drive you guys to the docks to ride the ferry to the mainland since the island itself didn't have a zoo

She'd keep it a secret the whole time so you have no freaking clue

"Kie, can I know where were going?"

"Nope it's a surprise."

You'd give her the little cute pouty face and the puppy eyes "Pretty Please?"

She usually can't say no to the cute face, but she did this time though it was hard.

"You'll just have to wait babe, you'll love it I promise!”

You guys spend your time on the ferry talking about whatever comes to mind, probably bring up the dumb thing the other pogues did earlier that week and working up a laugh

Picutes are definitely taking!

After riding to the Mainland, you guys would have to drive a LONG while

Like 4 hours long.

You'd already have a road trip playlist ready to go and you guys would be jamming out to a mix and mingle of songs

Queen, Bazzi, Taylor Swift, Michael Jackson, p!atd, The Weeknd, Post Malone, Kehlani, Halsey, ABBA, Fleetwood Mac and more!

Even making pit stops at the gas station for snack

McDonald's Drive through for a quick breakfast or Starbucks. The choice is yours

Zoo

So, when you guys first get to the zoo you're like a kid on Christmas.

Like seriously, you're filled with so much happiness you could cry because you haven't been to the zoo in YEARS, and now your wholesome girlfriend brought you to your favorite place.

It's like if you smell a certain think and it brings back old memories...seeing and smelling the place brought back some memories

"I can't believe you brought me to the zoo!”

"I planned for us to spend most of the day together here, just the two of us."

"Aw kie, I'm filled with so much emotion I could kiss you right now"

You guys definitely share a few sweet kisses 💞

And when she meant most of the day, she LITERALLY meant the majority of it.

You two would walk hand and hand around the zoo, you occasionally letting her hand go to rush over to see the animals. Or pull her along with you so she wouldn't lose you

You guys would start with all the outside animals first before going inside to the reptiles and stuff

You'll see the Addra Gazelle with it's cute ears.

Walk past the rhino exhibits, then head straight to the giraffes.

The giraffe exhibit did stink but y'all didn't let that ruin your time. Plus they were to cute for you to care about the smell.

You'd see the little baby giraffe running around chasing the geese, causing the two of you to giggle.

You'd tell her random animal facts like→"Giraffes have purple tongues." Or "Giraffes have seven neck bones as we do."

After the giraffes you guys have to walk a bit to get to the next exhibit so you walk hand and hand to the elephants.

When you get to the elephants Kie gets soo excited

Like so excited that she drags you with her as she basically books it!

When you get there there's two elephants–Asian and African–just walking around and spraying eachother

You'll tell her another fact→"African and Asian elephants are similar but different, and the way you can tell is African elephants have big ears while Asian elephants have smaller ears. An Asian elephant ears also fold downwards at the top."

Right before you guys go see the lions and the zebras, behind one of the big elephants legs there's a baby elephant hiding!🐘

uwus are FLLLYYING😩💗💓💞💕

The last time you were at the zoo a few years back there wasn't a baby elephant and now there is! You both make sure to takes pics and vids

For the rest of the day you guys enjoy being with each other, sharing sweet moments, taking more pics and videos while you see the rest of the animals. Gorillas, Tigers, Panthers, Monkeys, Polar Bears, Bald Eagles, Turtles +more

You even got to feed birds nectar as they flew around, landing on your heads and shoulders :)

At some point during the day you guys would stop and get more snacks to share (even though you had some one the way). Cotton Candy, popcorn, maybe ice-cream or a drink.

Your last stop before you leave is the Zoo gift shop.

It's pretty big with cool shirts, gadgets, toys, jewelry and stuff animals.

You don't plan on getting anything but that didn't stop you from wondering off without Kie to go find something to check out

You find weird things that you pick up but put back because they weren't worth the buy(but they toootally were)

You came across this gender neutral mood ring that you thought was sick and it looked like a wedding band so you bought it for your girlfriend for shits and giggles

After buying it you walked around the shop looking for her and see her checking out a shirt, so you go up behind her and hug her

You nearly scare her to death!🤣

"Holy shi- Y/n don't do that! I almost died."

"But you just looked so gOtDaUm huggable Kie. Also, I got you something."

Curious, she does turn around and gives you the look, remembering what you said before you guys walked in.

"I thought you said you didn't want to buy anything."

"I know but I had to get this."

You make sure you have her full attention, though you always have her attention😊

You give a little sweet speech something along the lines of this↓

"Kiara Carrera, I've known you since we were kids and from the moments you laugh at my goofy puns and stupid pick up lines when we got older, I knew we'd be great together. We were friends for a while and though we went to different high schools, our relationship never strained. When I asked you to be my girlfriend, I knew I was making the right decision, and I don't regret it. You're the best thing in my life Kie, and you're my best friend. I wouldn't change it for the world."

She would blush like MAD and smile a lot. She was used to your cheesiness, but that never failed to make her blush "Who else would put up with your crazy self? You will have me always, but you had me the moment you told me that bee pun."

"Kiara would you do your girlfriend the honor and accept this mood ring so I can keep track of your emotions and I love you because instead of stopping me when you see me doing silly things, you join me?"

And like you said, she went along with you act and held out her hand for you to slip it on her middle finger

"Now when you give people the bird they can read you emotion too."

Kie would love your little gesture and laugh at the fact that you put it on her middle finger and she would test it out on you

She'd flip you off AS A JOKE, and the color of it would be violet-pink which means she's feeling happy.

"Wow, I feel so loved!”

She'd surprise you too with a matching mood ring "I knew the kid in you would flip, so I got you one also."

She puts it in your middle finger and whether or not you give her the bird as a joke is up too you :)

And on top of that she would have bought you a stuffed animal of your favorite animal

THE KID IN YOU CAME OUT

Excitment-100

Happiness-100

Love-10000

Admiration-100000+

Honestly you love this girl so much, and she makes your heart speed up you could go into cardiac arrest.

Kie definitely would have gotten the biggest hug and some kisses all over her face for that

You'd tell her how she is the best girlfriend ever the whole time you're leaving, even on the car ride back to Outerbanks

When you guys do get back to the island, the guys would ask you were you guys were at(mostly jj even though he watched your sc story)

You would keep it simple by saying you went to the zoo and boooooi

They would feel so left out because the kid in them wants to go to the zoo too!

───────────────

Taglist :)

@outerbnx-stiles @letsgotothehop

Let me know if you guys want a pogues zoo day hc!

#kiara outer banks #outer banks imagine #outer banks netflix #outerbanks #obx fic #obx #kiara carrera x reader #kiara carrera #headcanon #kiara x reader #kiara carrera x female reader

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myhauntedsalem · 4 years ago

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10 Terrifying True Ouija Board Stories

1. Ask Zander

Oh Lord. I was about twelve when a friend and I were playing Ask Zandar (a board game with an electronic wizard that makes sounds and talks) when the batteries died. I tried to find replacements but with no luck.

So my amazing friend says “hey that Ouija board could be fun! Let us play and become possessed by demonic entities for all time”…or something along those lines.

We’re going along and asking questions, pushing the little eye around and having a grand old time. Until I say “if something is there, prove yourself”. THE MOTHERFUCKING NO BATTERY ASK ZANDAR WIZARD SAYS “Dun dun dun, you win!”. I flipped that board, tossed it in the trash, and absolutely refuse to have one in my house again.

2. Obviously Possessed

We were goofing off in a neighbor’s house playing with the Ouija board, and we asked a “demon” to talk to us (shut up, I know.) Five minutes into our “conversation”, the girl next to me vomited then fell off her stool and bashed her head on the counter. We called her mom and she took her to the doctor. She came to school the next day (with a huge knot and bruise on her head) and said the doctor said he didn’t know what caused it but she was fine, although she said she still felt a little funny. It was most likely unrelated, but I haven’t touched a Ouija board since, nor have I hung out with that girl since she is obviously possessed by a demon.

3. Night Time Visitor

The night we played, something came through and was calling me horrible names – I thought it was my friend doing it so I made my younger brother try it with me and it was most def not her, my brother was 7 and didn’t know about those words or how to spell them. I asked it to do something to prove it was real and nothing happened… fast forward to next morning, we were all sitting in the family room, watching TV when our fireplace (which we were not using), literally exploded into flames. We were all freaked out and swore we’d never use the Ouija again but, it didn’t matter, the door was opened.

After that, I had many episodes of sleep paralysis, things in my room would move on their own, something would come in my room and sit on my bed while I slept, I could feel it and see the depression in the bed.

4. The Gun Shot

Yeah. Went to this house that burned down with a whole family inside with 2 of my friends at 1 am. It was a still night, no wind or anything. We were in my truck doing the Ouija and it started to get mean, so we stopped, then it sounded like someone shot a large gun outside the truck window, and it felt like a huge gust of wind blew over us because the truck rocked, and then we all started freaking out. I tried to start the truck, and it wouldn’t go.

Then, we did it again at a friend’s house, one of the 2 people there with me the first time, and we were in the basement. Shit started getting weird again so we went to turn the lights on, and they wouldn’t turn on, and the basement door locked. None of us ever did it again.

I don’t even believe in that kind of stuff, but it was really creepy.

5. KILL!

I’ll never forget. I was 13 and my three friends and I wanted to try the Ouija board. It was the middle of the day, so we went into my friend’s walk-in closet where it was dark and we brought flashlights. We were just playing around. Eventually this “spirit” named Michael came on and we starting talking to it. Of course each of us starts joking that someone is making it move. But the more we started talking to Michael, the more it was apparent that none of us were pushing the navigator around. It was really creepy, but fascinating, too. One of my friends asked the spirit where it was in the present moment. It started to spell C-L-O-S when one friend hit the navigator off the board, started freaking out and screamed, “Closet! He was spelling closet!!” We were spooked, but in a fun way. The friend who freaked out wanted to stop, but we insisted that we keep on talking to Michael as we at least had to say goodbye and close out the session. We got the navigator back on the board and said we were sorry for interrupting him. He was not happy. He said to not do it again. Then for some stupid reason I asked Michael what was he going to do in the closet with us. It started to spell K-I-L and then the same friend threw the navigator off the board again and started screaming, “KILL! He’s going to kill us!!” and ran out of the closet. We all got really freaked out and ran out too. We didn’t close out the session so there was an argument between those of us who felt we needed to go back in and say goodbye so Michael would be sent away, and those of us who refused to ever touch the Ouija board again. We ended up not going back in and I had nightmares about Michael following me around and wanting me dead.

6. Look In The Shower

In seventh grade, my friends and I went over to “Mary’s” house intent on playing with her mom’s Ouija board that night. None of us had played with one before. Mary’s mom was an extremely spiritual person who believed in energies, witchcraft, stuff like that. Before we used the board, Mary warned us that her mom would be really pissed if she found out that we were playing with it because Ouija boards can attract bad spirits into the home. With full knowledge of this, we decided to proceed anyway. This Ouija board was not like the average Ouija board you had ever seen. Along with the usual characteristics (the alphabet, “yes”, “no”, “goodbye”), there was an entire array of symbols and signs that were all arranged in a circle. This was some seriously intricate stuff.

We started just goofing around and “communicating” with random spirits here and there until we finally met one that had us in tears the entire sleepless night. First, we asked the spirit if it was a man or a woman, to which he replied “M-A-N”. Then we asked how he was killed: “M-U-R-D-E-R”. That freaked us out only a little bit but we were mostly excited. All of a sudden, before we even asked another question, the glass goes to the eyeball symbol, then spells out “I-N”, and goes to the water symbol. We didn’t have a clue what that meant. It wasn’t too scary until the spirit spelled out “S-H-O-W-E-R” and my best friend realized that the spirit was trying to get us to look into the shower.

We froze.

I’ve never been so scared in my entire life, especially sitting directly in front of the bathroom with the shower curtain all the way closed, faced in my direction. We all screamed and promised on our friendships that we had not moved it ourselves (very important promise). I felt like I was being watched and my friends thought so too. It was only 4 of us and I believe with all my heart that none of them had moved it because we were all too nervous to do anything.

I’ll never use a Ouija board again because of how crazy and intense that night was. I understand that people say Ouija boards are controlled by your subconscious but f**k that. I know I felt something in that room with us. I know it was dangerous.

7. Get The Boy!

My friend had mentioned that she had one, so I asked her to pull the board out so I could check it out. At first she said no, but then agreed to do it as long as she didn’t have to participate. After she had the board set up I asked “Is there anyone in here”…. Nothing. So, being a dumb teenager I said “If anything is in here and not talking, you’re a coward”. The board was put away after that.

Fast forward about a week later and have me sleeping upstairs on my couch. I wake up on a stereotypical “Stormy Night”. Thunder and lightning, wind and rain..the works. I look around to see why I woke up and couldn’t see a thing, and decide to try and fall back asleep. After laying there for about 30s I hear from downstairs “Get the boy” in a very raspy, wispy voice. I open my eyes and listen… Nothing. Start to go back to sleep…”GET THE BOY”, it was MUCH louder this time. Then my downstairs door SLAMS shut. I freak the F*ck out because nobody slept down there and we had no drafts.

Nothing really happened after that… I learned my lesson.

8. Are You For Real?

A lady I worked with brought one in to play around with one day. We messed with it and didn’t really think it was doing anything weird or moving on its own. So my coworker goes to lunch and leaves me all alone at the store. I didn’t have any customers so I went to the back where the board was. I put just my index finger on it very lightly and said, “are you for real?” That thing moved straight up to yes on its own! I ran out of the back room freaking out. Never touched one since.

9. Answers

A few friends and I mucked around with ouija boards a lot as teenagers. It had always been harmless fun. One night we were “speaking” with a young boy called Niall who had told us he had been murdered by his father. We “spoke” with him for a while and then got bored of the conversation, “left”, and eventually tried again. We started to speak with someone we assumed was an elderly lady, when actually it turned out it was Niall again. Someone must have asked “what do you want?” because the ouija pointer spelt out “Satisfy my requests” and then continuously spelt “answers” over and over again until we freaked out and just abandoned everything: the board, the house, the street.

I have never touched a Ouija board since. Early last year, a few of us got together again (having all gone our separate ways since high school) and we brought that night up – and everyone swore again that they hadn’t moved anything on purpose that night. Of course, someone could still be lying, or we could have inadvertently been moving the pointer without realizing, but just remembering the force of the pointer moving so rapidly – and what it spelt out – freaked me out enough not to want to mess with it again… just in case.

10. The Eagle

One of my best experiences involved talking with a spirit of air, which happened back when I believed only in the mental aspect of magic, and thought that the ‘spirits’ I was talking to were were just parts of my psyche. To test this I asked the spirit to show some kind of sign of its existence, which I did not expect to manifest. When I asked this a huge eagle (birds being part of an air spirit’s domain) landed right outside my window, stared at me, like, really stared into my eyes, looked down at the board and flew away. Maybe it was coincidence, but I closed down the communication, did a Rose Cross Banishing ritual and noped the fuck away from magic for a while. Good Times.

#10 Terrifying True Ouija Board Stories #shared stories #paranormal #ghost and hauntings #ghost and spirits

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ashesonthefloor · 5 years ago

Text

all that counts, is here and now (my universe will never be the same)

summary: Michael bumps into the cute pet store worker named Calum and develops a crush. hijinks and lots of pining ensue. did I mention this was a soulmate au? title taken from Glad You Came by the Wanted. part two can be found here, ao3 link here

content rating: PG-13 (cursing, a couple sex jokes because it’s Michael, and lots and lots of pining)

word count: 9488 in total with the second half

A/N: okay hello my long awaited fanfic is HERE. tumblr is homophobic so it’s split into two parts but both are completely done. big shoutout to both @clumsyclifford and @cliiffords for hyping me up. and ofc a major thank you to miss @calumcest who screamed w me about this and is reviving Malum w me. enjoy!

Michael was already running late. But Southy’s leash had broken five minutes into the walk, and he didn’t have a spare at home for him. So he stopped by the pet shelter that was, thankfully, right on his way. It was actually the same place he’d adopted Moose. He knew most of the workers - despite not being the biggest people person - and he got along with them quite well.

So it was that much more surprising when Michael grabbed his leash - green, to match the collar, Southy deserved to match - and headed up to the counter only to find a stranger. Correction, the most gorgeous, handsome, pretty, amazing stranger he’d ever seen in his entire life.

“Hi,” the stranger greeted in a surprisingly genuine customer service voice. “Did you find everything okay?”

“Uh,” Michael said, ever the eloquent speaker, as he shifted Southy slightly in his hold. “Yeah, thanks. Just needed a leash since Southy’s snapped.”

The stranger had just rung the leash up when he seemed to notice the dog. It was obvious when he saw him, because his face lit up and, if Michael was a sappy person, which he obviously wasn’t, he would’ve said his eyes sparkled. “Is this Southy?”

Michael nodded, shifting him yet again before holding him out to let the man pet him. It turned out to be the right choice as he watched him coo happily over the dog, letting Southy sniff his hand before giving him a good pet. The man - whose name was Calum, according to the name tag he was now at the right angle to notice - seemed to love dogs an awful lot for someone who worked with them.

“Hi, Southy. Are you enjoying your walk? It’s nice out today, I bet you are. I bet you’ll enjoy it more once your leash is all fixed,” Calum talked to the dog, before rubbing his head again before giving Michael another happy grin and god, Michael was pretty sure he was in love. His cheeks squished up when he smiled in a way that Michael had never seen before, and was confident he would never see again. Not only that, but it actually reached his eyes. He looks genuinely happy. “Thanks. I like getting to say hello to our real customers.”

Michael stared at him for just a beat too long before giving him a grin of his own. And maybe he was a little pink. Maybe. “Yeah, no problem. Southy’s pretty relaxed. I’m actually taking him to volunteer at a nursing home right now. Normally my friend is the one with him but I agreed to go this time.” Why did he tell him that? He talked too much.

Calum gave him another smile before smiling at Southy. “I’m sure he’ll be great at it. He seems like a good therapy dog. And just an all around good boy.”

Michael smiled a little more. Calum got it. “He’s trained to be that way.” He frowned suddenly. “Oh, fuck. I was already running late.” He pulled his phone out to glance at the time. “Oh fuck, now I’m really late.” He handed Calum some cash and took the leash when he handed it over. “Keep the change. Uh, nice to meet you, I’ve got to go.”

He turned and moved quickly towards the door, trying not to fumble in front of the cute stranger. He clipped the leash to Southy’s collar and hurried to the nursing home.

————————

As expected, Ashton wasn’t pleased with him for being so late. He’d given him the ‘we’re definitely talking about this later’ look, since he was with one of the residents and couldn’t exactly just start grilling him the way he wanted to. Which spared Michael the awkwardness of having to explain that his alarm hadn’t gone off and then Southy’s leash had broken - he still had no idea how that happened - and then he’d met the most handsome man he’d ever seen in his life who was going to be in his dreams for the next year at least.

“Do you want to explain why you were so late?” Ashton finally had a chance to ask when Southy was curled up on Ethel’s lap, her wrinkled hand shakily stroking his little head. Michael pulled his eyes away to look at Ashton.

“Not really.” Michael enjoyed being difficult sometimes.

“Okay. Explain why you were late and I had to keep everyone in the activity hall for an extra thirty minutes,” Ashton said, leaving much less room for argument. Michael was never sure if he hated it when he did that or if it was kind of amusing just how well he knew him.

“Sure, daddy.” Ashton aimed a kick at his leg, lowkey enough to be missed by the elderly residents. Michael managed to clumsily avoid it, dumb grin still on his lips. The nickname had come up at some point in their friendship and he’d never dropped it, much to Ashton’s chagrin. He was a little more resigned to it now, though he never really appreciated it. Especially at the place he was volunteering. With easily scandalized (probably, Michael wouldn’t really know) old people.

“So I got Southy and we left the apartment. And then his fucking-“ Ashton gave him a look. This was why Michael called him daddy “-leash snapped, so I had to stop by and get a new one. And then I met the love of my life. Ashton, he’s gorgeous. I’m pretty sure he could bench press me if he tried, he has the greatest biceps in the entire world. Better than yours, even. I know, we thought that was impossible. It’s not. And he wanted to pet Southy and he called him a good boy. So yeah, pretty sure he’s the love of my life and now I need to figure out how to propose. Is offering him my still beating heart a little outdated? Should I go with an engagement ring?”

Watching Ashton’s normally well-kept expression shift through like eight different emotions - and probably the four stages of grief - was just a testament to how ridiculous he was being. He considered it a personal achievement. His current record was nine different emotions. Of course, it was Ashton , so half of it was just in the eyes and eyebrows, but it counted.

“So he was cute?” Ashton finally answered, seeing through about nine layers of Michael’s descriptive, hyperbolic imagery. He wasn’t fun anymore.

“Very,” Michael agreed, glancing back over at Southy to make sure he was fine. He looked like he was living his best life with all the attention.

“And now you’re convinced he’s the love of your life?”

“Absolutely.”

Ashton nodded. “Three diamonds.”

“You think? I don’t want it to be flashy. Just something that says ‘hi, I’m in love with you, and your jawline is sharp enough to cut me, and I’d be honoured to let you bend me-”

“Michael,” Ashton warned, glancing over at Dorothy who was looking at them with some sort of amusement. At least she wasn’t scandalized?

“Okay, okay. I’ll fill you in later, I guess, since you don’t love me.” Michael just gave him a small, dramatic little pout. Ashton was, unfortunately, immune.

“Or you can tell me how in love you’re in with this stranger now, minus all the graphic imagery,” Ashton pointed out, ever the reasonable party. Except when he liked someone. He was just as bad. Worse, Michael would say, but Ashton didn’t agree.

“Fine, fine. He’s gorgeous, Ashton. And he liked Southy. He called him a good boy.”

“Do you even know his name?” Ashton had been through all of Michael’s crushes on random strangers.

“Calum,” Michael said, a little triumphantly, with a smug little smile.

“Does he know yours?”

Michael went to answer before pausing. He flushed a little. “Oh, fuck, I forgot to do that part. I was in such a hurry I didn’t even tell him my name.”

Ashton just looked at him for a moment. “Are you going to talk to him again?”

The obvious answer should’ve been yes, given that Michael was genuinely interested in getting to know him. And since he was the love of his life, of course. But he hesitated. It would seem weird to just start hanging around the pet shop now, wouldn’t it? He didn’t want to freak him out.

Ashton shook his head, clearly mildly exasperated by his best friend. “Alright, We’ll talk about it later.” He smiled, moving forward. “Ready for someone else to have a turn with Southy, Ethel?”

————————

“You should just talk to him if you like him that much,” Ashton said several days later, giving Michael a look that meant he really just knew him way too well.

“I don’t know. He probably forgot about me already.” Michael frowned, taking a bite of the pizza Ashton had been nice enough to order. He knew arguing with Michael was a bit pointless sometimes, so he’d learned to just give in and stop prolonging the inevitable. He loved him.

“You won’t know unless you go see him. Besides, he still doesn’t know your name. What if he’s thinking about you too and hoping you swing by again?” Michael hated it when Ashton was reasonable. It was helpful, though. But he just liked being dramatic sometimes.

“I don’t know...” Michael said, taking another bite of pizza. “How often do I really need to go to the pet store? Not that often. Wouldn’t it be weird if I just kept going? And what if he’s not there? There’s so many ways this could go wrong, Ashton, I can’t just keep going and hoping he’s there. That’ll kill my soul.”

“So you’re finally admitting you have one?” Ashton grabbed a slice of his own pizza - Michael still hadn’t managed to convince him that Hawaiian was the best, much to his own chagrin. Michael tried to punch his arm before letting out a much-longer-than-necessary-sigh and leaning back in his chair. “Really, Mikey, just go talk to him.” Ashton’s voice was much gentler this time, expression very knowing. Michael wasn’t sure if he hated it, or he appreciated it. “Tell him your name. Ask him out. I promise you it isn’t as scary as you think it is.”

Michael paused. “What if he says no? They have the best prices and they all know me. I can’t just switch pet stores to avoid him after he inevitably breaks my heart.”

“What happened to proposing? I thought he was the love of your life?” Why did Ashton have to have such a good memory? It was infuriating. “Seriously. Stop by, look at some dog toys, and see if he’s there. If he is, ask him on a date. It’s that simple. You won’t have to switch pet stores. He might say yes. If not, you just ignore him when you go in. It’ll be fine.”

Michael frowned. “Fine. Maybe. But first, I want to beat your ass in Call of Duty.” It wasn’t Michael’s favourite, but Ashton was horrible at it, so it was a little fun just to watch him struggle. They always ended up switching to Mario Kart or FIFA or something so Ashton’s little grandpa ass didn’t struggle so much. He was a nice friend. He loved him, really.

Ashton shrugged. “Sure. But I’ll just even the score later on.”

————————

Michael hesitated outside the door to the pet shop. He probably looked like a freak just standing there, trying to figure out whether it was worth it to go in or not. Eventually, he decided that it was. Maybe because he wanted to see his future husband again. Maybe because Ashton would keep annoying him if he didn’t. It was like a 60/40 split between the two.

He finally managed to work up enough confidence to actually go inside. He’d only stood there for a minute or two before he was greeted by the familiar customer service voice.

“Hi! Welcome to Paws and Claws. How can I help you?”

Michael turned to look at the absolute Adonis of a man who had occupied his thoughts since he’d first met him. He saw recognition on his face, and then Calum was smiling a little wider, a little more genuine.

“Glad to see you again! No puppy this time?”

“No,” Michael managed to get out. Had he fixed his hair before he came in? He didn’t think so. He really hoped he did. “He had to stay at home. I think he just wanted a nap.”

“What a shame! He was almost as cute as his owner.” Calum bent over to pick up a dog toy, and Michael definitely didn’t glance down. Calum walked over to put it away, and it wasn’t until then that his words registered and he flushed dark. “So what are you looking for?” Calum asked, looking over at him.

“Uh. They just need a new toy. One of them broke this morning.” Michael really needed to get his shit together. He was being embarrassing.

“Oh no! We can’t have that. What kind of toy do you want?” Why did Calum have to be so goddamn nice? Michael was dying. Or going to die. Or in the middle of dying.

“Anything, I guess. Southy and Moose really like to chew.”

“You have two dogs?” Calum beamed, looking at the array of toys to find a couple that would work.

“Yeah. Southy’s, uh, my ESA. And I wanted another one besides just him.” He wasn’t sure if he should say that. Some people were weird about it. Maybe Calum would think he was a freak now and would never accept his proposal.

“That’s sweet. Southy was really well behaved. And the more the merrier with dogs, I always say. I want another one.” Calum came back over to him. “Here’s some good ones! We’ve gotten some really good reviews on them, and we use them a lot for the dogs we have here.”

“You have a dog?” With how much Calum liked other people’s, he wouldn’t have expected that. It seemed like he was just getting his dog fix through other people. Interesting. “Oh, I only need one.”

Calum beamed. “Yeah. He’s staying with my sister since I just moved into a new apartment and had to work some things out with my landlord to let him stay. I miss him, though.” His cheeks did that cute squishy thing. Michael didn’t know how or why it happened but he was in love with it. “They’re buy one get one free right now. You could get a toy for each dog and make it fair.”

Michael nodded a little bit. “I get that. I get pretty upset if I’m separated from mine.” Poor Calum. He must really miss his dog. “That...yeah, okay.” He didn’t really need more toys. But Calum was a fantastic salesman so he couldn’t really turn him down. He’d already lied and said he needed toys, so why wouldn’t Calum try and sell him some? It made sense. It was fine. He’d just live in an apartment covered in dog toys.

“Perfect! I’ll ring you up.” He led him over to the counter with the toys, scanning both of them.

Now was Michael’s chance. He could tell him his name. And that he was in love with him. “Um. I’m Michael, by the way.”

Calum gave him a sweet smile. “I’m Calum.”

“I know. You’re wearing a name tag,” Michael pointed out. Which turned out to be the right thing to do since Calum flushed a little bit.

“Oh. Right. I forgot i was wearing it,” he said with an embarrassed little laugh. He gave Michael his total and Michael paid, taking the toys from him.

“You should bring your dogs by sometime. We have half off bathing next week.” He gave him another happy smile and gave him a flyer for the next week.

“Right. Yeah. I think I will. Moose could use a bath.”

Another smile. “Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

————————

“Isn’t he perfect?” Michael lamented to Ashton later on that evening. There was a long pause from the other side of the phone.

“He sounds great. Like you need to ask him on a date.”

“I can’t do that, Ash! I don’t even know if he likes me. And I can’t just ask him out while he’s at work. I’ll just have to love him from afar until I can propose.”

Ashton was quiet for a moment. “Just ask him out. It sounds like you really like him. More than all your other weird crushes. I think you should ask him out. Or at least see if he’d be interested in grabbing dinner or a coffee or something.”

Michael considered it. “I don’t know. Maybe? I don’t want to rush things. He probably doesn’t like me. I’ve just been an idiot in front of him.”

“You’re an idiot in front of everyone. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you.”

“But it probably does. He probably hates me.” Michael frowned. “You’re awful at comfort.”

“I know, it’s my main skill. Being horrible at comfort. I put it on all my resumés.” Michael could hear the smile in Ashton’s voice. He wanted to pretend it annoyed him. But the familiarity was kind of comforting.

“I’ve got to go, Mikey. But I’ll call you tomorrow, right? And you’re still working this weekend? I’ll see you then too.”

“Yeah, I am. Talk to you tomorrow, mate.”

————————

Michael slept in late the next morning. He always did on his days off. He groaned at the noise of his phone going off incessantly. He figured they’d stop calling. And really, there was only one person it could really be. Ashton was the only person that ever really called him. Because he was a fucking grandpa like that. Sometimes it was his mum but really, Ashton was more likely.

The third time he called, Michael finally picked up. “What?” He asked, sleepy and pissed about being woken up.

“Are you watching the news?”

“No. It’s fucking nine in the morning, who watches the news now? Old people. That’s who-“

“Michael, turn the TV on.”

“Ashton, it’s early-“

“I’m serious. You know soulmates?” Of course Michael did. Everyone had to hear about them. They were rare, but they existed. They were people who had what looked like tattoos, indicating who their soulmate was. Supposedly there were quite a few benefits, but no one could decisively say what they were for everyone, given that they were so rare there wasn’t much research they could do.

“No shit I do. What’s up with them?”

“Everyone has a soulmate now. Overnight, something happened. Everyone’s got tattoos and the entire world is up in flames trying to find their soulmate,” Ashton said, voice rushed. “There’s weird catches for some people. They’re saying- be quiet, just a minute.”

Michael’s eyes widened. Fuck. That was kind of a huge deal. He yanked the covers back - fuck, the air was cold. He regretted doing that immediately - and stumbled into the living room. He was pretty much entirely awake now, jolted into the life of the living by the news. He fumbled with the remote to turn the news on.

“-it seems that some people have tattoos of their soulmate’s names. But most people are getting tattoos representative of their soulmates. Something related to them, or something they treasure. There seems to be a catch, however, so that some people are only getting soulmate markings after meeting their soulmate. This is causing global panic as people begin to take time off to search for their soulmates-“

Michael stopped paying attention again. “Do you have one?” He practically demanded.

“I don’t know! I saw what was happening and called you first because I knew you were missing it.” Damn Ashton being a good friend.

“Well go look!”

“Aren’t you going to look for yours?”

“No, I already know I probably have, like, four. Everyone loves me. But you’re unlovable so it’s more important. I need to know it I was right about that.”

He could practically hear Ashton’s eye roll. The next time he spoke, it was echoey. He was in his bathroom. “I found mine,” he said, normally stable voice a little shaky. “It’s on my bicep.”

“Better than it being on your ass,” Michael pointed out.

“Yours will be on your ass if karma has anything to say about it,” Ashton quipped back.

“Hurry up. What is it?”

“It’s a lamington. It’s got writing on it, I think. Fuck. I can’t read it in the mirror.”

“You have a fucking lamington? Who loves lamingtons enough for that? Take a picture of it so you can see the words.” Which was a genius idea. Michael was a genius.

“Fine, give me just a-“

“Wait, don’t do that, just come over here and let me read it.”

There was a beat before Ashton answered. “What? Why? I can just find out now. What’s yours?”

“I haven’t looked yet. Just come over,” Michael practically pleaded. Not that he’d admit it.

Ashton seemed to recognize the tone of Michael’s voice, and that he wanted someone to be there when he looked. That he was scared he wouldn’t actually have a mark and everyone else would get their soulmates except for him.

“Fine. I’ll be there in ten.”

There was the click of the line as Ashton hung up and Michael was left alone again. The news reporters on the TV were the only thing filling the silence, still droning on about the ‘soulmate phenomenon’, as they were calling it. Michael didn’t care. He just wasn’t sure what he was going to do when he pulled his sweatshirt off and saw nothing but pale skin. He wasn’t going to have a soulmate mark. There was a heavy feeling in his gut that told him that. He wasn’t going to handle it well, and he’d ruin Ashton’s enjoyment of having a soulmate. He was an awful friend.

He was pulled out of his self deprecation By a knock at the door. And, dammit, why didn’t Ashton just walk in like Michael did? He walked over to the door to open the door and let Ashton in.

“I can’t believe you made me wait to figure out who my-“ Ashton started, only to be cut off by Michael.

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks for coming. How do you know where it is?”

“You mean what if it’s on your ass?” Damn Ashton and that smug little smile. He thought he was funny. And okay, maybe it was, but Michael had said it first.

“Fuck off. I mean really.”

“You look, Mikey. I didn’t just magically know where mine was. You have to go somewhere with a mirror and look. Since I’m here now you could just strip, but the mirror option might leave me with my sight intact.”

“Fuck off-“

“You said that already.”

“You’re not getting a strip show for free anyway.” So with that Michael made his way to the bathroom. Passive (and completely pretend) annoyance gave him the energy necessary to lock the door and strip off his sweatshirt. He looked at himself in the mirror, hair messy and sticking up everywhere, and bags under his eyes. Really, fuck Ashton Irwin - and the universe - for waking him up so early.

As far as he could see, there wasn’t a soulmate mark. Not on his neck, or his face. He was still in his shirt, rumpled from sleeping in it, and it made it harder. But he just had that terror, that he would be blank. The entire world was getting soulmates and he was going to be blank. He’d be a freak. He didn’t want to be left out. Especially not on this.

God. He was alone. He didn’t have a soulmate. He was starting to come to grips with that, alone in the bathroom. Fuck. He should’ve just let Ashton break it to him. He could be nice. But this way he could have his breakdown in private. He gripped the sides of the sink, ready to curl down into himself and maybe never come back out. He started leaning down when he froze. Right there, on his forearm, was the mark. He slowly let go of the sink, bringing his arm up in quiet amazement to stare at it.

Holy fuck. He had a soulmate. Out there in the world, somewhere, living, breathing, existing, was his soulmate. Someone was meant for him. He brushed the pad of one finger over it gingerly, as if to test if it was real. It didn’t come off. Which was a good sign.

After affirming that it was real, that he really had a soulmate, he focused on the design. Which was...yeah. That was a thing. It was a happy dog sitting down, his tail mid wag, with numbers right beneath him reading 1251996. That was helpful. He definitely didn’t know anyone that connected to the tattoo. So his soulmate existed, he just didn’t know where they were. Great.

He yanked the door open and came out to look at Ashton. “I have a tattoo,” he said, a little gleefully.

“No shit. What is it?”

“It’s a dog with some weird numbers.”

“Show me.” Ashton held his arm once Michael offered it, looking at the tattoo. “Shit. We’ve got soulmates. Do you know anyone-“

“No. I’ve never seen the dog in my life and I have no idea what the numbers mean. Is my soulmate a fucking prisoner?”

“I don’t know. You’ve had it for all of an hour, don’t be so negative. I’m sure you’ll find your soulmate. Maybe you’ll get a nice tingle when you meet him-“

“Shut up, Ashton. What’s yours say?”

Ashton rolled his short sleeve up to reveal the tattoo. Like he’d said, it was a lamington, with sweet intricate letters on top of it.

“Luke,” Michael read aloud. “It says Luke.”

“Do you think that’s his name?” Ashton asked, looking surprisingly soft and vulnerable. No wonder. This was his soulmate.

“Yeah. Probably. You’re in love with some guy named Luke. Do you know anyone named Luke?”

Ashton shook his head. “No. I don’t.” He frowned a little.

“At least you’ve got it easy. You can just pop in places and try and find someone named Luke with a tattoo with stuff about you. How am I supposed to find the owner of the dog?”

“We could make a flyer?” Ashton suggested. Always so reasonable. “I’m sure there are groups online for it. We can join those. We’ll find you your soulmate, Mike, I promise.”

Michael nodded, comforted by Ashton’s ever present ability to come up with plans. It sounded like a good one, anyway. “Want to order a pizza?”

Ashton laughed. “Is that the only thing on your mind? Yeah, I guess. But I can always go grab it, the place is just around the corner.”

“You just want to look for Luke.” Michael pouted. Ashton flushed. So he wasn’t wrong.

“Yeah, but I can grab you some of those sweets you like from the bakery?”

Michael perked up immediately. “The sugar buns?” They were like heaven, sweet balls of dough rolled in some magical kind of sugar. He was addicted to them.

“Yeah. Those. I’ll be back in fifteen. Unless you want to come?” Ashton offered, though he seemed skeptical. And rightly so.

Michael crinkled his nose. “And deal with people? Absolutely not. Shoo, peasant. Go get me my pizza.”

Ashton just laughed his way out the door, leaving Michael back alone with his thoughts. About his soulmate. He had honestly no idea who it could be. His dating life had been rough lately. And by rough, he hadn’t actually seen anyone in over a year. Life just hadn’t really made any room for it. He’d focused his energy on his fleeting crushes. Soft brown eyes and squishy cheeks and a smile that made him feel warm inside drifted back into his thoughts. Calum. He wondered what Calum was feeling at the moment. They’d only talked a handful of times now. He wasn’t his soulmate. Calum probably had someone taller. More attractive. More deserving of him.

That was a little depressing. He sighed, frowning and slumping against the couch. He wished he’d actually gone with Ashton and braved the people just so he didn’t have to be alone with his thoughts. His phone buzzed, loud in the silence, against the coffee table where he’d left it. He answered it, a little unsure why he was being called.

“Hello?”

“Hey. I found him, Mike. I found him.”

“Found who, Ashton?” Why did he choose now to not explain?

“Luke.” Oh. Oh. Fuck. He’d found his soulmate-

“Already?! How the fuck is that even possible?”

“He works at the bakery. He said- he was saying lamingtons were his favourite of what they offered, and I asked his name. He said it’s Luke. He offered to tell me his tattoo once he gets off. He gets off in fifteen minutes-“

“Go,” Michael said, once there was a pause in Ashton’s excited and slightly frantic words. “Go find out his tattoo. Spend some time with him. I’ll just go pick up the pizza and have some time to think.”

“Are you sure? I can always come back after and just get his number.”

“I’m sure, Ash. He sounds nice. You’d do the same for me. I’m happy for you. Really. Go bond with him. Romance him. Take him out for dinner. Really woo him and give me the good details tomorrow.”

There was a pause, before a relieved. “Thank you. I’ll call tomorrow, I swear. Talk later.” Before there was a click, indicating that Ashton had left him for his lover.

That was fast. Ashton had already found his soulmate. Michael wondered, idly, what it felt like. To know who you belonged with. At least he knew someone out there belonged with him. It was just a matter of finding them.

He’d maybe look for one of the online groups that Ashton had suggested later. For now, he was going to pick up his pizza and enjoy it, even if he was stuck by himself. So he grabbed his keys (he wouldn’t forget them now, not after having locked himself out four times since moving in) and pulled his sweatshirt back on for extra protection before trudging outside.

It was gorgeous out, a crisp feeling in the air indicating the turning of seasons coming soon. Michael wasn’t sure if he should feel elated or not. He was all mixed up inside, and didn’t know where to begin sorting it out. Normally, he talked to Ashton and he helped him begin untangled the complicated web of his emotions. But he was currently occupied. So he’d have to do it himself. Or ignore it and wait. Which sounded much better at the moment.

He almost tripped over a dog, since he had his hoodie up over his head, having to stumble a bit to catch his balance.

“Sorry! Rocko likes getting in peoples way. Are you okay?” The stranger walking said dog asked immediately. Though, there was something familiar about his voice that had his gut churning. In a good or a bad way, Michael couldn’t decide.

He looked up from beneath his hoodie, shocked to see Calum standing there. Calum from the pet store. Recognition dawned on Calum’s face and he gave him a happy smile. “Hey!” Calum said, tone just as happy. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Yeah, it’s good to see you too.” Michael gave him a smile, albeit a slightly strained one. Couldn’t he see he was having a crisis? And mourning what could have been between them? Calum was gorgeous and loved dogs and seemed so nice. He could’ve been his soulmate. But he was stuck with a stupid prisoner or something. Not that he minded too much. Any soulmate was good. Any at all. As long as they weren’t, like, a murderer or something. That would be pretty bad.

“How have you been? All the news this morning has been crazy. I think my phone’s been blowing up since before I woke up.” Calum’s face squished up in that weirdly endearing way that happened when he smiled sometimes. It definitely didn’t make Michael’s chest flip around. Or his heart flutter. He wasn’t sappy like that. He had a soulmate somewhere.

“Mine too. My friend Ashton called me like eight times to make me wake up at nine am just so I could watch the news.” Which was fair, actually. It was a monumental event. Ashton was nice to not let Michael sleep through it. Not that he’d ever say that out loud. He knew anyway. “Then he was rude enough to offer to order pizza and then ditch me to find his soulmate.”

Calum laughed and, wow, that was Michael’s new favourite sound. It did something absolutely weird to his belly that he didn’t understand at all. It was like some sort of flip floppy butterfly thing. He didn’t entirely hate it. “At least you didn’t sleep through it! I feel so bad for all the people without marks. I hope they end up with them eventually, if that’s what they want.” He paused, gaze focusing on Michael. “Do you have a mark?” Before Michael could try and figure out what to say, Calum was waving it off. “Sorry, Sorry. That’s awfully personal. You said you’re grabbing pizza, right? From Alfredo’s around the corner, by any chance?”

Michael didn’t even know what to think about all of that. Did Calum have a soulmate? Had he found them already? He really didn’t know. And he especially didn’t know why he was so fucking attached to the guy from the pet store who reminded him of a puppy. “Yeah, actually. They make the greatest pizzas. It’s a crime to order anywhere else if you can avoid it.”

Calum grinned, face doing that squishy-cheek thing again. “That’s right on my way! I can walk with you, if you’d like?”

And yeah. That sounded really nice to Michael. Of course he’d like. “Sounds good to me.” It sort of hit him then, that this was Calum’s dog. And he felt his heart sink right down into his gut where it died. There was no chance for him to be his soulmate now. Not at all. Rocko, the giant German Shepard he was walking, didn’t match the clearly small dog tattooed on his arm. At least it was still covered by his sweatshirt so they didn’t have to make awkward chit chat about it. “It’s great weather outside for dog walking,” Michael said, just because he was a masochist and enjoyed causing himself pain.

“It really is. I think Rocko will actually be worn out, which is an impressive feat. He’s hard to wear out sometimes. He’s young, so he has more energy.”

Michael nodded. He was still, irrationally, hurt that the love of his life, this man he’d talked to maybe three times, wasn’t his soulmate. Who the fuck else could it be? He hadn’t met anyone new in the last few weeks. Oh fuck. What if it was a customer? He’d met plenty of those. God, that would suck so bad. It would be so much harder to find his soulmate that way. And he’d have to hate them because they were a customer. “I don’t have that problem, really. I just have small dogs so they’re easy to wear out.”

“Southy,” Calum remembered, pleased with himself. “And...oh fuck, don’t tell me. I’ll remember it.” He paused for a moment, presumably to think. “Moose! Moose moose moose.”

Michael smiled despite himself and his insistence on staying in a foul mood. It was sweet that he actually remembered his dogs’ names. “Yeah. That’s them.”

“And Southy’s your ESA. Right. I remember.”

Michael just nodded a little bit. Calum had a good memory. Much better than his, his was shit. Except for when it came to whoever’s turn it was to order pizza, or Ashton’s mistakes. “Yeah.”

“He’s the good boy.” Calum smiled at him, and Michael’s stomach started doing somersaults. Not his heart. That was too cheesy.

“Yeah. He is.” Michael was an idiot. He sounded like a broken record. Couldn’t he find something else to say other than yeah?

“How did the nursing home go? That was where you were taking him, right?”

Damn Calum and his genius memory. “Yeah, it was. And it went really well. The old people really like him. I could do without the old women trying to squeeze my face, though.”

Calum laughed and oh, okay, maybe being a dork was a little worth it if he got reactions like that. “My friend’s grandma does that a lot. I get it. They mean well but, man, my poor face!”

All too soon, they ended up reaching Alfredo’s. Michael hadn’t bumped into him too far away from it and there wasn’t a good way for him to drag the conversation out any longer. Not without being painfully obvious, at least. He gave Calum a slightly reluctant smile. “Right. Here we are I guess.”

“Alright, well, enjoy your pizza! I’ll see you soon?” Calum seemed pretty genuine about it. But he always did. So who knew if he was being real.

“Yeah, hopefully.” Hopefully? Yeah again? Michael was an idiot. “Uh. See you.” He went into Alfredo’s, regretting every single thing he’d said in his entire life, and his own birth.

————————

Michael decided against going in to see Calum again for a while. He needed proper time to process. And think about his soulmate. Ashton had helped him look online for his. They’d had no luck so far. No one had anything relating to Michael at all. Which sucked.

“Maybe it’s defective,” he’d said one day, backwards on the couch with his head hanging over the edge while Ashton scoured the internet in search of Michael’s soulmate. “Maybe I really don’t have one and this is just a cruel trick.”

“Or maybe you’re dramatic and we just haven’t found them yet.” Damn Ashton. Not even letting him whine.

They’d continued looking, but nothing had come up. Luke, though, was nice. Michael had gotten to meet him about a week after the day him and Ashton had meet. He was sweet, if not a little awkward. He worked at the bakery, though, so more often than not he brought sweets to Ashton and sometimes he’d let Michael have some. He was pretty great.

Ashton was happy. He could see it in the smitten way he looked at Luke when he thought he wasn’t looking. In the way he smiled in that fond way he reserved just for him when Luke was rambling on about something, in the way he reassured him when Luke got embarrassed afterward. And Michael was happy for him, really. But he was a little jealous inside somewhere, just because it had been so easy for him. He’d found Luke right after he’d gotten his soulmate mark. There was no worry, no feeling like part of you was wandering out in the world with no way to track it down. He had it easy. And Michael thought that that might make it harder for Ashton to understand what he was going through.

Michael didn’t really know how to explain the feeling. It was just sort of...wrong. Like his heart ached all the time for someone he didn’t know and had never met but somehow he knew he was missing. It felt like he’d lost some part of himself somehow and that was just the scariest part of the whole thing. Because he was still Michael, nothing had changed about that. Except for the tattoo. Ashton seemed to sense that he needed to be left alone about it, so he didn’t tease too much. He was nice, gave him enough distance to process but not so much that he felt unsupported. Michael was grateful. But he was frustrated.

————————

He almost managed to put Calum out of his mind entirely. For the time being, at least. He was so wrapped up in his feelings and his mini spiral and focusing on his soulmate and how weird it felt not being around him, he didn’t have much time or mental energy leftover to dwell on the guy who was still pretty much a stranger.

That all came crashing down the following week, when him and Ashton worked another shift together. They’d worked at the coffee shop together for close to two years. Ashton, being the person he was, had eventually become manager. A position that he didn’t mind so much but Michael liked to poke fun at. Because he was nice.

“Have you seen him again?” Ashton asked, between handing a coffee to a customer with a smile and taking another order. “Calum?”

“No,” Michael grumbled, frowning as he grabbed a cup to make another drink. “Why would I?”

“You said you were in love with him. Why aren’t you at least figuring out if he’s your soulmate?” Ashton glanced over at him. “I need another iced mocha with extra whip.”

Michael sighed, looking at him. “Because he’s definitely got a soulmate that isn’t me. I can feel it Ashton. In my soul. He’s not interested in me and I’ll have to just scrap the proposal and suck it up.”

“You don’t know that. You could always ask him. I need an iced mocha with extra whip.”

“But I do. I don’t have to ask to know that. And why would I bother making a fool of myself when I already know that he’s got another soulmate somewhere?”

“Michael. Iced mocha. Extra whip. And you don’t know that, you’d just rather not ask than-“

Michael didn’t catch anything else he said. He’d finally started on the stupid coffee - which, really, it was more sugar than coffee so he hoped whoever fucking ordered it enjoyed their sugary heart attack at one pm on a Tuesday - when he’d glanced up. And that was an awful idea. Because the next person who entered the shop, complete with the little jingle of the bell over the door, was Calum.

“Welcome to Great Awakenings,” Ashton started in once Calum approached the counter. “What can I get you?”

Michael was staring. Openly. So when Calum smiled and looked over at him, he ducked down beneath the counter to try and avoid looking like an idiot. The only problem was, he spilled the jug of milk he’d been using for the mocha over his head. Ashton heard the clang of the metal hitting the floor and turned to look with a frown, taking in Michael on the floor covered in milk.

“Michael?” He asked, slightly startled. Michael wasn’t even sure how he ended up in this situation. The only explanation he could come up with was that the universe obviously hated him. First, introducing him to Calum and then not making him his soulmate. And now this. He was going to have to fight the universe. He was pulled out of his burning embarrassment by Ashton’s voice. “You go take your break. I think I’ve got an extra shirt or two in my car. I’ll...finish up here.”

Michael stood, chancing only the slightest glance at Calum with his face burning and completely drenched in milk, before he trudged out the back to Ashton’s car in search of a clean shirt and his dignity.

————————

Michael never did bother talking about it. Ashton had put two and two together and, after a couple unsuccessful attempts at asking, dropped the subject all together. Well...for all of four days, at least. That seemed to be Ashton’s limit, since he brought it up again when he’d invited Michael out to grab coffee. Somewhere else other than their work, thankfully. He’d invited Luke to join, with Michael’s approval, since they were trying to work out their dynamic. Which was fine. Everything was fine. He was running late, which gave Ashton the perfect opportunity to try and lecture him.

“Why don’t you just ask him, Mike? You’re sitting around making yourself miserable. The least you can do is ask and actually have a reason for being miserable.”

“Ew. Don’t call me that. And I’m not going to ask him because I already fucking know the answer and I’m not embarrassing myself for the second time in front of him. You don’t get it. Just because everything’s perfect for you and Luke doesn’t mean it’s perfect for everyone else.” Michael regrets his words as soon as he sees something like hurt flash across Ashton’s face. He doesn’t like feeling guilty. Or hurting Ashton’s feelings. It’s...difficult to do, and Michael should’ve been better at avoiding it considering how long they’d been friends. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, voice softer. “I just mean...you found your soulmate fifteen minutes after getting your mark. And that’s great. I’m happy for you. But it’s not like that for me. I’m..still looking. We haven’t had any luck finding whoever I’m supposed to be with. There’s no point in assuming it’s Calum.”

Before Ashton can give what would probably be an annoyingly reasonable answer, Luke makes his way over. He kind of reminds Michael of a newborn calf. Long legs and a little bit awkward. He smiled, with the same smitten look Ashton always gave him, and sat next to him, pecking his cheek. Gross. “Hey, what did I miss?”

“Michael is lamenting about his lack of soulmate. And how he won’t ask the man he insists is the love of his life what his soulmate mark is.” Michael glared daggers at Ashton, offended that he’d reveal such personal information to anyone. What a jerk.

“Oh. Why don’t you just ask him?” Luke asked, tilting his head.

“Because they’ve only talked four times and Michael insists that it isn’t helpful. Because he obviously already has a soulmate.” Ashton sipped his coffee with a disconcertingly knowing look. He didn’t like that look on him. Not at all.

“You don’t know that, though,” Luke pointed out, lips pulling into a frown. “I thought Ashton did too, until I found out he didn’t. Who is this guy?”

“His name’s Calu-“

“If you tell him, Ashton, I’m not coming to your wedding and I’m never going to cover a shift for you ever again-“

Luke looked startled at the revelation. “Calum? Like, pet store Calum?”

It was Michael’s turn to be shocked. “Wait, you know him?”

Luke’s startled expression didn’t shift. “Yeah, he’s my best friend.” He stared at Michael for a very long moment. “Oh my god. What is it?”

Michael felt lost in like eight different ways. He didn’t even know where to begin. “What is what?”

“Your mark. What is it?”

That really didn’t help Michael’s confusion at all. He just felt worse. “It’s a dog. With some weird numbers. I don’t see what that has to do-“

“Oh my god. Oh my god,” Luke said, shaking his head. “You’re both so stupid. So fucking stupid.”

Michael frowned. That wasn’t very nice. “What’s wrong with you-“

“He’s got two dogs. And a strand of numbers.” Luke looked at him, expression somewhere between incredulous and pained.

And oh. Oh. Oh. That changed...a lot of things. “But how do you know it’s him? We could be wrong about it. Maybe it’s not...maybe it’s...”

“Where is your mark? Can I see it?” Michael didn’t like showing it off much. But Luke was sweet and trying to help so he rolled up his sleeve. “Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. That’s Duke.”

“Who’s Duke?” Ashton chimed in, though his smug expression said he already knew. Michael wasn’t even sure he actually wanted to know.

“Calum’s dog. He loves him to death. You both are so- he saw your mark on that group for people who haven’t found their soulmates but he thought you didn’t like him. When he saw you getting at the coffee shop, he was going to tell you, but after you ducked down to get away from him, he figured that you probably didn’t like him and wanted to pretend he wasn’t your soulmate.”

The new information sent him reeling. It took him a couple of moments to process before his brain was capable of functioning again. “I thought his dog was Rocko,” he finally said, a little dumbly.

Luke shook his head. “That’s his neighbor’s dog. He agreed to take him on a walk after she had to go visit her mum in the hospital.”

Michael was silent for another couple of moments. “So he doesn’t hate me?”

“No, he thought you hated him. He was excited.”

Another few moments of silent contemplation. “I’ll be right back. I have an...errand to run.” He pushed back from the table and left, leaving his iced coffee on the table.

#malum #calum hood #michael clifford #calum hood fanfiction #michael clifford fanfiction #my writing

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calumance · 4 years ago

Text

LA Devotee - Part XI

Warnings: cussing, the end get’s a little hot and heavy, no details, it’s a bit angsty

Word Count: 4.5k

Summary: Emily stays with Calum for a while, but soon returns to her own apartment, only to be met with the biggest challenge of dating someone famous. Calum receives some news, and drops a new bomb on Emily’s life.

A/N: Oof, okay. I rewrote this part many times, which is why it took me so long to update. 😂 I hope you all like it! Feedback and requests always welcomed!!! (want to be tagged? Let me know!)

Masterlist

I stayed at Calum’s until Tuesday, I would’ve stayed longer, but I ran out of clothes. Calum insisted on letting me use his washer and dryer, but I declined, telling him I needed to go home. He groaned into the crook of my neck pulling me closer to him before kissing me goodbye as I walked out the door to head to work. When I got home after work, I kicked my shoes off and went to my bedroom, which was still a mess from trying to find stuff to take to Calum’s. I picked up a little and found the hoodie Calum let me borrow the night we met. When I put my nose to it, it still smelled like him. So I changed into it and made my way to the couch. After spending four nights with him, it was weird to not be with him now.

After turning on the tv, I pulled out my phone and started scrolling through some social media. As I was about to move onto the next platform, Mikayla started to call me. I held the phone to my ear, and without saying a word, she starts spewing her words, “Emily, where are you right now? Were you on twitter, please do not get on twitter. For the love of god, please stay off twitter.” My eyebrows stitched together and before I could get any words out, my phone starts beeping telling me I have another call coming in. This time it was Calum.

I put my phone back to my ear, “Calum’s calling me, I’ll call you back.” As I pulled the phone away from my ear, all I could hear was her telling me to stay off twitter. My finger tapped to end Mikayla’s call and answer Calum’s. The speaker pressed to my ear, and a smile stretched across my face, “Hey there.” My back pressed against the back of the couch as my knees pulled toward my chest.

“Emily, are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay. I’ll come right over if I need to.” My eyebrows pulled together again and my knees fell. I dropped my hand into my lap and my mouth formed into an ‘O’ trying to figure out what was happening.

My heartbeat picked up and I managed to find some words in my throat, “I’m fine. What is happening? Why is everyone freaking out?” A creeping urge to check twitter suddenly nudges its way into my chest.

Calum sighed into the phone, obviously exacerbated, “Listen, some pictures of us are circulating the internet, and not all the comments are nice. If you need me to say something, I definitely will, you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” His voice broke and I suddenly looked at my phone, my eyebrows pulling together so hard, my head started to hurt.

With Calum still on the phone, I went to my home page and touched the twitter icon. I could hear Calum calling my name, I told him to hang on. That’s when I found it, a whole stream of pictures and a whole hashtag built around pictures of Calum and I walking around on Sunday afternoon. Not a single picture of us showed PDA, not even a hand hold. We always stayed a few feet away from each other, and Michael and his girlfriend were with us. For all anyone knew I was Crystal’s friend. Which, admittedly, we did hit it off, but that was the first time we met. I scrolled through the comments, the internet is not as dumb as I wish they were. Even though we never touched each other, the way Calum and I looked at each other gave everything away. None of the comments were exactly accepting of us, and they were not too thrilled with how I looked on Sunday. I scoffed, who are they to judge me based off twenty pictures of us? And for god’s sake, it was Sunday, I don’t try to look at all decent on the weekends. So, I started laughing, even if deep down it did hurt.

I swallowed down the hurt and continued to laugh as I put the phone to my ear, “That’s all they’ve got? Shit, I might just kiss you the next time we’re in public to see what reaction we get.” The tears welled in my eyes and Calum fell silent. “Baby, I’ve been through way too much shit in my life to let negative comments from people who are not involved in our relationship bother me.” That was literally the opposite of how I actually felt. As much as I can put on a touch exterior, I could literally feel my self-esteem crushing under the weight of negative comments from thousands of people I didn’t know.

Calum let out a half chuckle, half sigh, “You’re sure you’re okay? Do you want me to come over?” His voice sounded so caring that a tear escaped from my eye.

My fingers swiped across my face as I cleared the tear off my face. “I’m fine. Hey, I’m going to head to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?” My voice hitched in my throat and I swallowed it down before Calum could hear it. Of course I wanted him to come over, but after spending so much time with him, maybe asking him to come over was too clingy. From what I could tell, he wasn’t super convinced, but he said okay and we hung up. I played with my bottom lip before bringing up the message thread between Mikayla and me. “I should’ve stayed off twitter, and I just lied to Calum. Oh god, who am I?” Within just a few seconds, Mikayla called me, where I then cried to her on the phone for a half an hour. After I had composed myself, and shut off my phone, I curled into a ball on the couch and pulled Calum’s hoodie over my nose. As the scent of his cologne filled my nose, I closed my eyes, feeling like I was back in his arms, lulling me to sleep.

It wasn’t a good sleep, which was alright because I definitely forgot to turn my phone back on. My eyes were nearly glued shut from the amount of tears that I shed before I fell asleep on my couch. As I sat up on my couch, I ran a hand through my hair. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes as I reached for my phone and turned it on. As my phone powered on, the picture Calum and I took over the weekend appeared on the screen. I closed my eyes and rubbed my hand across my forehead before typing out a message to him. “Good morning, sorry for texting you so early, slept like shit last night. I just wanted to text you and tell you that I hope you have a great day. Xx” The message sent and I set my phone on the couch as I went into the bathroom to take my morning shower.

When I got out of the shower, I left my phone on the couch and walked straight to my room to get dressed. I decided to put a soft wave in my hair and put on a pair of flared, rose colored dress pants with a white satin button up tucked in with a pair of nude heels that were just tall enough that my pants didn’t drag on the ground. After I finished putting on my makeup, I made my way to my kitchen and started the coffee maker. My phone lit up on the couch, catching my attention. My heels clacked on the floor as I made my way over to the couch and picked up my phone, seeing Calum’s name sitting on my screen. “I can’t sleep for shit either. I miss you, have a great day at work. Xx Cal” A smile stretched across, my lips but faded when I remembered everything that I read last night. Instead of letting it bother me anymore than it has, I shake my head and make my coffee and leave my apartment.

When I got to the office, I sat at my desk and sighed. Mikayla wheeled her chair out and held her coffee cup to her lips. “You look amazing, but the dark circles under your eyes tell me you didn’t sleep again. Are you sure you’re okay? Did you have Calum come over last night.” She sipped at her coffee making that annoying slurping noise.

My eyes narrowed, and she immediately stopped, knowing that was one of those sounds that set me off. “No.” I said as I roughly tap the space bar on my keyboard to wake my computer up. “I felt like having him come over was clingy after spending so many nights with him.” After I logged into my computer, I leaned back in my chair and took a drink of my coffee and shrugged, “I just feel like it’s too early in our relationship to spend every night together.”

Mikayla nodded, pouting her bottom lip in thought as she rocked in her chair. “Trevor and I spent the night together in the first month of being together.” My eyes shot towards her and narrowed in confusion. “I spent the night at his house after he asked me to be his girlfriend and it was like we got addicted to each other. After that night, either I slept at his house, or he slept at mine.” She raised her eyebrows and took a sip from her coffee again, “It was only a month later that we decided it would be easier to move in together.” She set her cup down on her desk and shrugged.

My fingers adjusted on my mug, gripping it tighter as I thought about what she just said to me. It’s not that I hated the idea of moving in with him, especially since I had spent more time at his house than I have at my own apartment since we met. Thinking about living with him makes my stomach flip, and I run a hand through my hair to hide my flustered thoughts. I lick my lips and look at my keyboard before leaning forward as if Mikayla would hear me better, even though our desks were still too far apart for us to whisper. “Wouldn’t it be too early for us to move in together?” I wasn’t sure if I was asking her or myself.

Mikayla shrugged, her eyes focused on her computer, “That’s up to you guys.” I jumped when she responded, proving that I was more asking myself than I was her. “There is no set amount of time that a couple should wait before living together, at least not in my mind. You just have to talk to him about that idea.” Mikayla took another drink of her coffee then started typing so furiously that I raised my eyebrows.

I leaned back in my chair and then rolled the chair so that I could see her, “But how do you bring that up? ‘Hey, babe, I think we should move in together even though we’ve only been seeing each other for a month?’”

Mikayla moved her eyes from side to side then finally landed on me. “Yeah, that’s exactly how you bring it up, actually.” He eyebrows furrowed and she lifted her fingers off her keyboard, “Why do you think everything in your guys’ relationship is so hard? Just let it happen. If you’re happy, then it shouldn’t be a big deal.” She raised her eyebrows matter-of-factly and went back to her work.

Even though I went to her with every problem I had, I hated that she was right every time. I wheeled my chair back in front of my desk as I grabbed my phone. My nail tapped on the screen as I chewed on my bottom lip thinking about what I wanted to send to him. My phone vibrated in my hand making me jump half way out of my skin. It was almost as if he knew I was thinking about sending him a message, “What time do you usually have lunch? I wanted to stop by, need to tell you something. Xx Cal.”

My throat worked and my stomach tightened, that didn’t sound very good. My fingers tapped away, “Around noon, is everything okay? If you want, you can meet me in the lobby, there’s a café down there that has some really good food.” The message sent and I stared at the screen as I waited for him to respond.

The grey bubble appeared and I waited anxiously for his message. It disappeared and reappeared a few times before a message finally came through. “Everything’s fine, sunshine. I’ll see you in a few hours. Xx Cal.” I set my phone back on my desk and dropped my face into my hands. After a second, I flicked my hair out of my face and focused on my work.

When it came to lunch time, Mikayla and I walked into the lobby together. Calum was waiting by the front doors, and when he caught sight of me, a smile stretched across his face, and he met me half way. As the space closed between us, his fingers walked across my waist before he fully wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a kiss. “You look beautiful today.” He sighed after pulling his lips away from mine.

My cheeks burned as I blushed. I tucked my hair behind my ear and smiled. “Thank you. Do you want to get some food?” I grabbed Calum’s hand and tried to pull him towards the café.

He gripped my hand tighter and pulled me back towards him. “Baby, I can’t stay, I have a meeting I need to go to. Will you come out to my car with me real fast?” With a nod, Calum took my hand and walked me out to his car. He opened the passenger door and pulled out a bouquet of roses. “I was at the store earlier and I saw those and thought of you, so I bought them. It really has nothing to do with why I wanted to stop by, but I thought it would be a nice gesture.” He laughed, closing the door and then leaning against it.

As I smelled the flowers and smiled, he put his sunglasses on his nose, “Thank you, Calum, they’re beautiful.” A smirk twitched at the corner of his lips, I couldn’t help but blush, and a soft shade of pink washed over his cheeks.

Calum nodded, then shoved his hands into his pockets, his smirk fading. “I found out this morning we’re going on a promotional tour for our new album, and then shortly after that we are going on an actual tour.” My heart sank, I knew it was going to happen, but I wasn’t ready. “We leave in three weeks, and I’m going to guess that in the next three weeks, I am going to be insanely busy.” His eyebrows pulled together and he pulled his lips into his mouth.

I continued to hold the flowers up to my nose, but my eyes were connected to his. I faked a smile so he wouldn’t feel as though I was upset. “That’s great that you’re going on tour, you should be excited.” I dropped the flowers and held them at my side.

“I am,” His eyebrows lifted above his sunglasses and his hand rested on his chest. “Don’t get me wrong, I love touring, but we’re just starting to enjoy our relationship, and I’m about to leave. You’ll still be here when I get back, right?” My chest felt heavy.

“Of course I will, are you crazy, I’ll even come visit you. We can FaceTime every night and day, you leaving to do your job is not going to ruin what we have.” I reached up and ran the back of my fingers along his cheek.

A soft smile stretched across his lips. “Can I ask you something, Emily, and you can tell me if I sound absolutely insane.” I nodded and leaned against him, wrapping my free arm around his neck. He responded by wrapping his arms around my waist and looking down before looking up. “I think you should move out of your apartment and come live with me.”

Even though it was a topic Mikayla and I were talking about only mere hours ago, it still took me back. My mind raced and my fingers balled on the back of his neck into a fist. “Baby, I’m not sure if that’s the best idea.” I whispered and looked through his sunglasses.

He looked away from me and pulled a key out of his pocket and shook it between his fingers for a second. “You don’t have to give me an answer right now, but I do want you to have a key so if you want to come over, you can just let yourself in.” My fingers gripped the key as I leaned my body against his and pressed a hard kiss to his lips. “Will you come over tonight after you leave work?” He asked me once our lips parted. Of course I would, even if I wasn’t sure if I wanted to move in with him yet, I was not going to let they key go to waste.

Calum and I bid each other goodbye as I headed back into the building and he headed off to his meeting. When I met sat down next to Mikayla, she eyed the flowers in my hand. She asked me what happened and I held up they key he gave me. “He asked me to move in with him.” Mikayla smiled and I dropped my hands, “I told him I didn’t know if it was the best idea.” I shrugged and dropped my hands to the table. “He also told me that he’s leaving for tour in three weeks. What do you think I should do?”

Mikayla chewed for a second and then looked down and shrugged before sticking her fork in her lunch. “I think you should figure out what you want.” She lifted her fork and put her elbow on the table. “Not just if you want to move in with him, you need to figure out what you want out of him. If you think you’re ready for another commitment, then sure move in with him.” She eyed her fork before shoving it in her mouth, “But if you’re not, then don’t do it.” She mumbled through her food.

Mikayla’s words resonated with me the rest of the day. Every time I would look at the flowers sitting on my desk, I would wince. As I walked to my car, I spun the key to his house around in my fingers. I dropped it in my cupholder and drove to my apartment. Once I got to my apartment, I grabbed a few days of clothes and somethings out of my bathroom and headed to Calum’s. When I got to Calum’s, I used the key to let myself in. “Cal?” I called out, still feeling a bit weird walking into his house without him with me. He didn’t answer immediately, but I took a few steps into the house and heard him call from his music room. I walk down the hallway and dropped my bag in his bedroom. At the end of the hallway, the door to his music room was closed. On the other side, I heard the soft sound of music. I knock once and he tells me to come in. I quietly open the door, not to interrupt just in case he was doing something important.

“Hey, baby. How was the rest of your day?” He pulled the headphones off his ears and he smiled. He looked comfortable in his white “sensation” shirt, dark gray sweat pants, and a light gray beanie. He had a purple bass in his lap and a guitar strap slung over his shoulder. My heart swelled, maybe coming home to this every day wouldn’t be so bad.

“It was okay, I’m not interrupting anything am I?” I pointed to his bass and the camera set up in front of him.

He shook his head, “No, I’m just messing around. Are you hungry? I can fix us some dinner real fast.” I accepted his offer and he put his bass on the stand next to him before moving towards me, pressing a gentle peck to my forehead. We walked together to his kitchen and he told me to sit down. I sat on the barstool and watched him cook. We talked, and I couldn’t believe how much he smiles, and every time he smiles, my stomach flips.

He sat at the barstool next to me as he sat down both plates. As I grabbed my fork, I looked at him, “Why did you ask me to move in?” I asked him twisting the fork in my hand. Something inside me telling me that if he gave me a good reason, I’d want to do it.?

He paused from taking a bite of his food and looked at me, “So that I could have this every day.” I raised my eyebrows, edging him to tell me why he really asked me. He sets his fork on his plate and smirks, “Okay, and because I think you deserve more than that tiny apartment. I was going to pay for a new apartment for you, but I think moving in with me will save us both some money.” He laughed, but I didn’t. He’s always wanting to spend all this money on me, money that I can never pay back. My head spins and I nod slowly, “Is everything okay, Emily?”

“Yeah.” I said completely unconvincing as my thoughts ran around my head. My eyes closed as I dropped my fork onto my plate, “I need to ask you something.” I finally blurted out. Calum raised his eyebrows and swallowed, his Adam’s Apple bobbing. “Are we just together for fun, or are we together to actually try and build a life together?” The words came out of my mouth harsher than I wanted them to, so I didn’t bother to look at him. “I’m afraid that if I move in with you and you do all of these things for me, that we’re going to break up and I’m going to be right back where I was four months ago. I’m not afraid of commitment, I’m afraid of being destroyed a second time.” My voice became shaky towards the end, and I dropped my head to hide the tears that were forming on the rims of my eyes.

Calum dropped his fork and placed his hand on my knee. His hand reached around my face so he could gently guide my face to be looking at him. His eyes sparkled in the light, my stomach filled with butterflies and I blinked away the tears. “I’m scared too, okay? You know that my past relationships were great either. I’m not with you just to pass time. Before I met you, I had completely sworn off relationships and anything to do with them. You’re different, you’re worth it.” He ran his thumb under my eye as a smile twitched over his lips.

My heart skipped a beat after the last words fell from his lips. My head spun as the thoughts raced through. If I was worth it to him, then he was worth it to me. Even if I was scared, maybe he was worth it too. My fingers pressed against the back of his neck as I pulled him towards me, pressing my lips against his. “I’ll do it,” I whispered, “I’ll move in with you.” Calum let out a soft, happy laugh and pressed his lips to mine again. Our lips smiling against each other’s.

We finished dinner and Calum took our plates back into the kitchen and started washing the dishes. My eyes wandered around the house for a minute until I stepped off my chair and walked into the kitchen. My hand grazed his lower back as I stepped around him and started grabbing dishes to put away. He smiled, but pulled his eyebrows together in confusion “If this is going to be my house now, too, I might as well help out.” I shot him a look as he pushed his button lip out in agreement. After he shut off the water, he reached for the towel and dried his hands, his biceps flexing in a devilish way with each movement. My teeth dug into my bottom lip the more I stared at him. To take my mind off him, I look up and my eyes catch sight of the swimming pool, softly lit by the lights under the water. My lips turn upward into a smirk as an idea pops into my head.

Keeping my shit-eating smirk on my face, I turned towards Calum, causing him to stop all of his motions. He raised an eyebrow and draped the kitchen towel over the oven handle. “Have you ever gone skinny dipping in your own pool?” He placed one hand on the edge of the counter and the other on his hip. For a moment, he paused, but then he frowned and shook his head. My devilish smirk turned into a devilish smile before I reached down, holding onto the counter for support and took off my shoes. I skipped towards the backdoor and dropped my shoes off to the side. Without missing a beat, I opened the backdoor and ran outside. Once I was standing at the edge of the pool, I stripped my clothes off and jumped in. When I came up out of the water, I saw Calum standing at the edge of the pool, his hands in his pockets, laughing. “Come on, Cal, just do it.” He didn’t protest, instead he stripped off his clothes and jumped in.

After he resurfaced I swam over to him and locked my arms around his neck. He ran his hands down his face, wiping the water away and then wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned forward and pecked his lips, suddenly feeling the need for more after the tingling danced across my lips. My lips connected with his again in a needy kiss. As his grip tighten, he let out a quiet groan, no way to hide what was going on under the water. I nipped at his bottom lip and smirked, “Want to continue this inside?”

He shook his head, “I have a better idea.” He reached for my legs, forcing me to wrap them around his waist. He connected his lips to mine while he made his way to the stairs of the pool. His hands held their grip under my thighs as he carried me over to a padded patio couch, laying me on my back. Before I could protest, I was lost in his touch and his body.

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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

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Galactica, Chapter 25 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Hey kiddos! As always, thank you so much for any feedback. You’re the best. Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Last Chapter: Long-distance brought challenges to many of our couples.

This Chapter: In Milan, Trixie agonizes over being apart from Katya. But back home in New York, she’s finding support in Violet’s friendship — at least until Miss Fame throws a wrench in their plans. Elsewhere, Willam continues to work his charms, Adore gets an invitation she can’t refuse and Alaska learns some upsetting news.

***

“Guess who just got an extra round of shots because the bartender thought he had a chance? Me! 1 - 0 for the lesbian.” Pearl laughed as she dumped down next to Trixie, handing her friend a beer as she balanced her tray of free shots in her other hand.

“I love Italians. They’ll literally give you anything you want as long as you’ve got a pair of tits and a smile.”

Trixie looked at Pearl before he sighed and accepted the beer, his phone in his hand. He had been trying to call Katya all day, but no matter what he did, he couldn’t get a hold of her beyond a few quick texts. He was just about to dial her number again when he felt a poke in his stomach.

“Ouch! Pearl, what the fuck?”

“Stop looking so sad! It’s contagious and you’re not allowed to be sad during Fashion Week, so how about you turn that frown upside down, we slam these and I’ll score us some free hotdogs on the way home!”

Pearl smiled, her entire face lit up as her eyebrows wiggled, her good mood making Trixie feel a little better.

“I don’t think they have hotdogs in Milan, Pearlie Girl.”

“Well, then pizza! Gelato! Whatever! Now put that phone away and take a shot with me like a man!”

Pearl was just about to grab the phone from Trixie’s hand, but he stopped her, a serious expression on his face.

“Katya hasn’t responded to any of my calls.”

“Well, if you’re so worried, just ask Violet? She’s such a control freak she probably has a written record of Katya’s last three meals and her sleep schedule.” Pearl leaned back in her chair, taking a long swig from her wine, people all around them moving back and forth, coming and going, but to Pearl they didn’t matter.

All that mattered was that Trixie wasn’t going to party with her, and that wasn’t fair.

“Why are you always so mean to her, Pearlie?”

“I’m not mean, I’m perfectly reasonable.”

“If you say so.” Trixie sighed and crossed his arms, finally taking his first swig of the beer Pearl had gotten for him.

“Katya and I have never gone this long without talking. I haven’t heard from her in almost 24 hours.”

“Bro, let it go.” Pearl sighed, pulling a bit of her hair over her shoulder. “Katya is probably fine; you worry too much.”

“Tell that to my stomach.”

Pearl leaned over, a mischievous smile on her face before she placed both hands on Trixie’s tummy, talking to it as if he was a pregnant woman as she adopted a high-pitched baby voice.

“Hey sweetie, I know you’re confused right now, but don’t worry, you don’t have to worry about your mommy one bit, Auntie Pearl is right here ready to take care of you, and I know exactly what you need, which, is, shoooooots!”

Pearl sat up again, laughing hard when she saw the unhappy scowl on Trixie’s face.

“You’re the worst, Pearl, you know that, right?”

“The absolute worst.”

***

Trixie was in his hotel room, silently cursing Pearl as the blonde was off getting laid, the European chicks absolutely loving her. Trixie however really needed a bro since he couldn’t get out of his clothes, too drunk for his hands to work properly, even if he had fought his way out of his shirt.

Fashion Week was like an endless party, and he couldn’t remember the last time he hadn’t been at least mildly buzzed or had gotten more than six hours of sleep.

Trixie was battling with getting out of his shoes, his pants already around his ankles as he heard his phone ring and he jumped for it right away, falling onto the bed and swiping right to pick up the call.

“Please be Katya, please be Katya, please be Katya!”

Trixie hadn’t realized he had said any of it out loud, until he heard Katya’s laugh on the other end of the phone, almost making him cry.

“Katya, oh God, it’s really you, I love you so much, please I want to grow old with you and get weird and wrinkly.”

“Are you drunk, baby?”

“Maybe a little.” Trixie looked down at himself: there were stains of pizza sauce on his stomach, and his pants were still around his legs, making it hard for him to move. “But none of that matters because now I’m talking to you! I miss you sooooooo much!”

“I miss you too, I’m sorry I haven’t called…”

“How are you? Are your students okay? How are you, how are you, how are you?”

Trixie was excitedly waiting for Katya’s reply, ready to hear all about how the most important person in his life was doing, but then there was nothing on the other end and Trixie had to check if his phone was actually on.

“Katya? Are you okay? Like… For reals?”

“I...I really fucked up last night,” Katya said, voice small and soft.

“What do you mean?” Trixie asked. “Are you okay?”

“I just...I really wanted a drink, and I thought Pearl might have something, and so I went into her room and I basically tore everything apart looking for a bottle-”

Trixie froze, his heart stopping at Katya’s words.

“I’m coming home right now.”

Trixie was already standing up, fighting with his pants, trying to get them on and then instead stepping out of them, grabbing his backpack, not caring that he was only wearing his underpants and his socks.

“No! Trix! Trix! Please wait.”

“No! I can’t wait! I have to come home!”

“Trixie, please, baby, listen! I didn’t find anything, okay? And like, after a couple of minutes, I was standing in the middle of this fucking mess, holding Pearl’s Hitachi in my hand, digging through her bottom drawer, and I realized how crazy I must have looked.” She let out a dry chuckle.

“That’s not funny.”

“It’s a little funny. And anyway, I’m okay. I saw Sasha after school today, and then I came home and cleaned everything up. I’m sorry for making you worry...”

Trixie stopped, listening to Katya’s words. “You’re okay?”

“I’m okay… I promise. I talked to Violet, and we’re gonna have a slumber party this week, so don’t worry. You don’t have to come home, everything is fine.”

Trixie fell back into bed, the sudden burst of energy only making him more nauseous, the entire room spinning.

“What did Sasha say?” Trixie liked Katya’s therapist. She was calm and warm and extremely perceptive, with a lovely sense of humor. If she thought Katya was okay, then he’d feel a hell of a lot better.

“She thinks that I’m being too hard on myself, and that I just need to try and relax. Which is what I’m doing now. I’m in the bathtub.”

“So...then you’re really okay?” asked Trixie.

“I’m really okay.”

“And you’ll tell me if you’re not?”

“I’ll tell you if I’m not,” Katya echoed.

“Promise?” Trixie asked, sniffling.

“I promise. I love you, baby.”

“I love you too. So, so much.”

***

“So...you gonna tell me why you’ve been pouting all night?” Bianca asked, reaching across the table to stab a penne off Adore’s plate.

“I am not!” Adore said, mouth turning down even more as she screwed up her face.

“Are too,” Bianca said, imitating her childish tone. “What gives?”

Adore scoffed, pushing the pasta around on her plate, making trails of vodka sauce.

“Well…”

“Out with it! Time is money!” Bianca barked.

“Oh sorry, do you have another appointment after this?” Adore asked, taking a big swig of her wine.

“As a matter of fact…” Bianca grinned wickedly, dimples deep in her cheeks.

“That Derrick girl again?”

“No, that’s over,” Bianca said, taking a bite of her salad. “But I met someone at the Michael Kors show, and she’s coming over later.”

The girl from the MK show was a stunning model who she’d previously featured in a couple of editorials for the magazine. A very resourceful young lady, who’d been all too happy to express her gratitude in the back of Bianca’s limo after the reception. But Adore didn’t need those details.

“Ugh, great. I can’t even get a call back, and my big sister’s having late night booty calls.”

“Don’t beat yourself up, kiddo. I’ve been having late night booty calls since you were in diapers.”

Adore heaved a big, put-upon sigh.

“So...who’s not calling you back?” Bianca asked.

“No one…”

“Uh-huh.” Bianca took a sip of wine. White, so as not to stain her mouth before the aforementioned booty call. “Anyone I know?”

“Maybe.” Adore stuffed a piece of garlic bread into her mouth.

“Are you not telling me because you know I’ll disapprove?”

“...maybe.”

Bianca rolled her eyes. "Why can't you date someone who's not an asshole?"

“She’s not an asshole. At least, I don’t think she is. She’s just busy. She’s in Milan this week, I think.”

“Eww,” Bianca’s face scrunched up in disgust. “She works in fashion?”

“You work in fashion.”

“Exactly! That’s how I know,” Bianca said.

“Whatever,” Adore said, face still a stormcloud.

“Listen...why don’t you come with me to Paris next week? It’ll be fun, and you can meet a sexy French girl to help you forget about whatever bitch is treating you like shit.”

“Are you serious?” Adore asked.

“Yeah, why not? I mean, when you’re not whining, you’re pretty decent company.”

“Awww, thanks, B!” Adore scrambled over to Bianca’s side of the booth and threw her arms around her neck. “We’re flying first, right? With lie-flat seats?”

“Is there any other way to fly?” Bianca replied with a wink.

“I love you, you bougie cunt,” Adore giggled.

“Shut up and eat your dinner, punk.”

***

“Hey Jinkx?”

“Mmh?”

Alaska smiled at the redhead in front of her. Alaska and Jinkx were in Alaska’s office, the remains of their lunch in a trashcan, two cups of tea on her desk as the two friends sat in Alaska’s plush chairs, the computer playing one of Lily Allen’s first albums.

“Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?”

“Why?” Jinkx cracked an eye open. Alaska was slowly working on filling in the other woman’s eyebrows. Jinkx had texted Alaska that morning, asking her friend if she would help her with her makeup for a theater reception she was going to later that day.

“She was trying to make, up, her mind.”

“Oh my God!”

Alaska wheezed as tears gathered in her eyes at the look of absolute outrage on Jinkx’s face. Jinkx’s anger was always the funniest thing and a true testament to her skills as a pun master, which was why Alaska continued to tease her red-haired friend.

Alaska picked up her brushes again and began to work on Jinkx’s eyes, slowly covering her lids with shades of gold to compliment her warm brown eyes before moving on to liner.

Alaska had always found Jinkx beautiful: she loved the small gap in Jinkx’s front teeth, loved her soft red curls and round cheeks, loved the cute little cleft in Jinkx’s chin that she knew the other woman was incredibly self-conscious about.

Alaska ran a hand down Jinkx’s face, gently caressing the other’s cheek as she waited for the lash glue to get tacky, enjoying how doing the other’s makeup gave her an excuse to touch her. There was a comfortable silence while she worked, touching her up here and there before finally fixing her lashes on. Finally, Alaska drew back, satisfied with the final look.

“There,” she said. “Absolutely stunning, don’t you think?”

Jinkx opened her eyes and looked in the mirror she was holding up. When her face broke into a bright smile, Alaska couldn’t help but feel warm all over.

“I look amazing! You’re a genius, Lasky.”

“Don’t mention it!”

“No, do mention it.” Jinkx grabbed Alaska’s hand which made a jolt go through the blonde’s body, Jinkx looking Alaska straight in the eyes.

“You’re a true artist, a great artist.”

Alaska was just about to open her mouth, just about to say what was on her mind, when the door to her office opened, Jinkx released her hand and Alaska felt her heart drop.

“Hey Alaska, are you in here? Kim didn’t know if you were back from your lunch.”

Alaska looked up to see Ivy peeking in through the door, a big stack of boxes in her hand.

“Oh!” Ivy looked back and forth between the two women, an apologetic smile on her face as soon as she realized she had walked in on something. “I’m sorry, sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt anything. I’ll just leave these with Kim and call you later!” Ivy flashed one last bright smile before she closed the door behind her.

“Jinkx… There’s something I have to… Jinkx, are you listening to me?”

Jinkx was still looking at the door where Ivy had just left, her face flushed as she was practically staring.

“That… That was her, that was her, the girl I’ve been telling you about, that was the angel from Fashion Week who waved at me! You have to tell me her name!”

Alaska felt her stomach drop all the way to the floor. Fuck.

***

ADORE: Hey

ADORE: Hope ur having fun in Milano.

ADORE: So, I’m gonna be in Paris next week with my sister. Maybe we can chill

ADORE: Or, you know, whatever

PEARL: Sounds cool ;)

Adore clutched the phone to her chest, curled in bed, nearly giddy with happiness. She didn’t care that Pearl was playing a bit hard to get. All she cared about was that they were about to be together for a week in the most romantic city in the world.

***

“Cheers,” Courtney said, holding up her glass with a grin.

“Cheers…” Willam clinked his glass with hers. They were sitting together in a cozy booth for a rare mid-week date. Apparently, with Miss Fame in Europe, Courtney was expected to be at the office before dawn, but the upside was that she got to leave a little early in the evenings.

Willam certainly wasn’t complaining. Playing the doting boyfriend via text was tough--he was constantly second-guessing himself and could never tell how she was responding. He felt better in person, where he could see Courtney’s physical reactions to the things he said. Really putting those improv classes in college to excellent use.

The good news was, he was pretty damn sure that he had her, hook line and sinker. The way her eyes glittered in the candlelight, the way she slid closer to him, tilting her chin up…

Shit.

Willam knew that when he came up with this plan, that he’d eventually have to touch a girl. But he was really trying to postpone it as much as possible.

“Hey!” he exclaimed, making Courtney jump slightly. “I just got a great idea!”

“What?” Courtney asked, head tilted coyly.

“I have this friend from college, Sam, who runs an open mic night in the village. We should go. You should sing something!”

“I’m...how did you know I sing?” Courtney asked.

“Uh, I heard you last Saturday, singing along at the concert. You have an amazing voice,” Willam said. He flashed a big smile at her for good measure.

“Oh,” Courtney said, looking up at him with starry eyes. “Really?”

God, she was so easy. Her dream of being a recording artist was just about the most obvious thing in the world for anyone with her FaceBook profile. He’d barely needed to research at all to figure that one out.

“Absolutely,” Willam said. “I think you’re a star.”

Courtney took a long sip of her wine, deep in thought.

“You know, the truth is…” Courtney paused, biting her lip. “Ummm…”

“What? You can tell me,” Willam assured her, taking one her her hands in his. The sad reality was that in order to have any chance at something juicy about Galactica, he had to listen to a lot of crap. Because Courtney loved to talk, maybe more than anyone he’d ever met.

“Well, when I first got to New York, I had this idea that I was gonna get a part in a Broadway show, or...or some other job as a singer. I went on all these open calls. Every single one I could. Broadway, music videos, back-up singers, anything. But…”

“Yeah? What happened?”

Courtney deflated, her eyes cloudy with tears as she shook her head.

“Nothing happened. I never got past the first rounds, never made it to the real auditions. One of the dance captains pulled me aside one day and said that if I wanted to be competitive, I needed way more dance lessons. So I’ve been trying to do that, but it’s really expensive and ever since I started at this Galactica job, it’s even harder to make it work with my schedule. And I mean, I still write music and I still want to be a singer or an actress someday but…”

“It’ll happen,” Willam said kindly, patting her on the shoulder. “You gotta believe in yourself.”

“I don’t know.” Courtney’s shoulders sagged, eyes big and sad as she gazed up at him, lip trembling. “I’ve never told anyone this, but sometimes...sometimes I worry that if I was really talented enough, something would already have happened. You know? Maybe...maybe I’m just not good enough. Maybe I’ll never be good enough.”

Willam cleared his throat. Shit, what the fuck was he supposed to say to all that?

“Listen,” he began. “You are destined for amazing things; I know it. You just gotta keep going, keep trying, and someday, everyone will see the greatness that I do. I swear it.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so,” Willam promised, watching her eyes tear up some more. “Now, come on. Let’s get over to that open mic and show them what a real superstar looks like.”

“You know...I’ve never dated anyone as supportive and kind as you…” Courtney said, twirling her wine glass.

Willam smiled again, trying to push down the guilty feeling creeping into his stomach. This would be a lot easier if she wasn’t so damn sweet.

“Well...you deserve it, babe.”

***

“Sit still.”

“I am-” Katya smiled, wiggling her fingers again, the nail polish wand hitting her skin.

“Katya!” Violet gasped. “Look at your hand-” Violet reached for a cotton ball, gently removing the polish, the cold liquid feeling nice.

“Sorry.” Katya smirked. She knew it wasn’t very kind of her, but it was impossible not to mess at least a little with Violet.

The two of them were sitting on her couch, both of them in pajamas, Katya’s hand resting on Violet’s knee as she was slowly and carefully painting her nails a deep red.

They had eaten dinner together, Violet letting Katya pick a movie without any fight at all, which Katya had found a little weird. Normally it took hours of negotiation to get anyone to watch ‘The Princess Bride’, but Violet had simply agreed right away, almost like she didn’t have an opinion on it.

“You’re not sorry at all-” Violet giggled, and Katya felt her heart warm at the sound.

“I’m not.” It felt a little wrong to tease Violet, but the other took obvious delight in it, so Katya didn’t feel too bad. She was grateful that Violet had agreed to this little sleepover, spending time with a friend so much better than being alone.

It wasn’t that Katya couldn’t be on her own, wasn’t that she was incapable of keeping her demons down, but it was easier with someone around, easier to focus on Violet and her smile, the other woman absolutely hilarious in her dry commentary and snarky sense of humor.

Katya didn’t like her apartment being empty, couldn’t find peace when there wasn’t the putter of others around her. It was part of the reason she had never kicked up a fuss about the fact that Pearl still lived with them. It made her feel calm when she could hear Pearl in the kitchen, when there was the clink of beers in the living room when her and Trixie played games together, even Pearl’s parade of girls had their own strange comfort.

Usually, with the Galactica team in Europe, she’d have relied more on Kim and Shangela. But with Kim working on a commercial for the new makeup line and Shangie distracted by the honeymoon bliss of a new relationship, she really would have been alone had it not been for Violet.

“Maybe you should choose the next movie,” Katya offered. “What do you want to watch? What’s your favorite?”

“Let’s just watch whatever you want,” Violet smiled, “I don’t mind.”

Katya leaned against Violet’s shoulder. She was a strange little bird, indeed. But Katya was infinitely happy to have found her.

***

“Hello?”

Violet tried to not croak, her voice heavy with sleep. She had no idea what time it was. She was sleeping in Katya’s bed with the blonde’s head resting on her shoulder. When she attempted to make her exit last night, Katya had looked like a kicked puppy, so she decided to stay in spite of it being a work night.

“Violet?!”

Violet sat up, Katya making a surprised noise as she was unceremoniously dumped down on the bed.

“Miss? Is everything alright?” Violet was completely awake, adrenaline coursing through her blood.

“The breakfast at this hotel is absolutely horrid. They gave me what is clearly a kale juice when I specifically requested spinach.”

“I’m sorry Miss,” Violet swallowed, Fame sounding genuinely upset. “I’ll call the concierge immediately, do you want me to-”

“I don’t want you to call anyone.”

“Oh? Umh, should I email-”

“No. I want you to pack your things-”

Violet froze, wondering for a moment if Fame was going to fire her over a mistake a chef in Italy had made.

“Book yourself a flight, and meet me in Paris.”

“Paris- How?”

“Figure it out.”

Violet couldn’t believe what she had just heard, but before she could even finish her sentence, Fame had hung up, the phone beeping in her ear.

“Shit.” Violet looked down, Katya lying next to her, the blonde wide awake.

“Katya?” Violet reached out, gently touching Katya’s hair.

“Mmh?”

Violet could see that Katya was trying to be brave, what little she could see in the shadows of night painted with worry.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine. Fine. I’m totally fine. Super fine.”

“Katya-” Violet wasn’t the most emotionally observant person, but Katya was clearly winding herself up, almost like she was afraid to lose it, and that was when she had an idea. “How difficult would it be for you to take a few days off?” Violet ran her hand through Katya’s hair.

“I could work something out, make sub plans-” Katya bit her lip. “Why?”

“Do you happen to speak French?”

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