#like he’s adding multiplying dividing in a way only he knows

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Soap’s the type of guy to be like “math is easy guys all you have to do is…”

And solves the most complicated complex math equation you’ve ever seen without a calculator

[zablife]

Runaway with Me

Benny Cross x female reader

Divider credit @firefly-graphics

Summary: You're a nice college girl dating a fellow student and photographer named Danny, but your boring life comes to an end when you meet the man you've previously only lusted after in photos. When you spend a night with Benny, your whole world changes.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, unprotected sex, language, drinking, infidelity (sorry Danny)

A/N: Kathy doesn't exist in this AU. Only my second fic for Benny. Let me know your thoughts! Comments are love 💕 No spoilers here!

Benny Cross Masterlist

“Hey,” a low voice called to you, rumbling like thunder on a warm summer night. His smoldering gaze stopped the click of your heels on the pavement before you could reach the bus stop, your attention stolen by a good looking blonde. You watched intently as the flashing streetlight illuminated his rugged jawline and muscular arms, sending a crackle of electricity down your spine.

“I know you,” he remarked mysteriously, taking a long drag of his cigarette.

Your throat went dry, as you struggled to answer. Readjusting your purse on your arm, you shook your head before you finally heard yourself whisper hoarsely, “I don’t think so.” However, you knew he was right, you’d seen his photos in Danny’s dorm room, though the prints hadn’t done him justice. 

“You’re that college girl Danny’s always talking about,” he added, eyes roving your body in obvious appreciation.

Your mouth dropped open at the mention of your boyfriend, heart beat quickening as you thought of the way you’d stared at those images, biting your lip in curious desire for a man you’d never met. It hadn’t occurred to you you might actually meet one day, but now it seemed your fantasy was coming true.

Locking eyes with him in a flirtatious stare, you almost felt guilty as you introduced yourself with a coy smile.

Benny's blue eyes twinkled and a wide grin spread across his face as he realized you weren't frightened of him.

"I'm Benny," he reciprocated without saying more. However, the way he allowed comfortable silence to linger, put you at ease long enough to explain that Danny stood you up, leaving you to take the bus home. You couldn’t help the anger that filled your voice, throat constricting with unshed tears as you wondered when you’d be as important as his silly book. 

Seeming to understand your need for distraction, Benny asked, “You wanna get out of here?” He didn’t wait for a reply before flicking his cigarette butt to the ground and throwing one leg over his bike.

As you thought of Danny's calls going unanswered, you picked at the strap of your bag hesitantly. “I don’t know, I should be getting back,” you reasoned quietly with yourself.

Benny held up his hands as though accepting defeat. “You gotta go, you gotta go,” he shrugged before starting up the bike.

You glanced over your shoulder toward the uninviting looking bench under the bus shelter just as the engine roared to life, impulsively grabbing his chiseled bicep. His chin jerked up at you in surprise, that adorable grin returning when you yelled, “I’m coming with you.”

Extending a ringed hand for you, he helped you onto the bike, snuggly fitting your arms around his trim waist with the instruction, “Hold on tight."

You didn’t bother asking where you’d be going, your desire for adventure steadily growing. When he accelerated toward the highway with wind rushing past your hair and colors blurring in your peripheral, you could think of nothing except the adrenaline coursing through your veins and the seductive thoughts multiplying with every new sensation.

Pressing your cheek against his back, you inhaled the intoxicating mixture of pomade and leather, closing your eyes to imagine it mingled with the sweat of exertion. The vibration of the bike beneath your legs, body molded tightly against his made you all the more eager for him.

When he pulled into a local motel and helped you off the bike, your legs had turned to jelly and you couldn’t be sure if it was from the overwhelming experience of the ride or your sudden nerves as you waited to see what might happen next. 

Benny didn’t seem to notice, walking toward his door with a slow, but confident strut. “Want a drink?” he asked, holding the door for you. 

You fidgeted with your necklace as you peeked your head into the small, yet tidy room where he said he’d been staying for the past month.

He offered you the first bottle of beer, knocking the cap off against the dresser with a sharp crack. He shook the fizz from his hand, sucking a little off his thumb before placing the bottle in your hand.

As your fingertips brushed against each other, it renewed the electricity dancing between you, his eyes darkening to a deeper shade of blue as lust overtook his gaze.

With a shaky breath you took a sip and placed the bottle onto the table, quickly forgetting it as he took hold of your arm and pulled you into a searing kiss.

As the cool metal of his rings touched the burning skin of your cheeks, you moaned against him, allowing him the opportunity to lick into your mouth hungrily. He was gentle, but firm as his tongue fought yours for dominance, hands tangling in your hair as his passion increased.

His calloused hands memorized every inch of you on their way down your body to find the hem of your top and pull it over your head. Nipping softly at your lower lip, he distracted you momentarily to unclip your bra and toss it aside, stopping long enough to suck in a breath at the sight of your breasts. 

Ducking his head to take a pert nipple into his mouth he lapped and sucked against the sensitive bud, making you whimper with need. 

“Like that, pretty girl?” he asked softly, hand kneading your other breast until you thought you’d cum from that simple touch alone. Hands resting atop his blonde curls, you pushed him away gently to catch your breath and he huffed out a little laugh. “A little too much, huh?”

Taking his lead, you wasted no time removing his jacket and shirt to reveal the taut planes of his chest and abs. Skating your fingers across the lean muscle with a sigh, you leaned in to place scattered kisses along his collarbone. You watched the vein in his neck jump before ghosting your lips over his throbbing pulse and chose a place to suck a bruise. 

He hissed as you tongued over it in soothing circles, fingertips clutching at your hip when you blew a stream of cold air across his flesh. Deciding to push him further, you snaked a hand down his front, palm gliding over the coarse material of his jeans. A low rumble of satisfaction came from his chest as you stroked his growing bulge, his hips involuntarily bucking against your hand. 

You smirked at his responsiveness and the fact that he was much bigger than you’d imagined. Unable to wait any longer, your fingers fumbled excitedly with his belt buckle, Benny groaning at the promise of release for his aching cock.

Falling to your knees, you helped him out of his pants and watched his cock bounce against his tan stomach. The little gasp that left your throat seemed to amuse him as he tilted his head to savor the sight of you before him.

Hand reaching for him like a prize, you began long slow licks along his shaft before taking the spongy head between your lips, eager to please. No sooner had you begun, he grasped for your shoulder to steady himself from the dizzying pleasure, opposite hand sweeping the hair from your face to watch himself disappear down your throat.

Benny’s moans began to fill the room as you worked, a stuttered breath escaping when you stopped to kitten lick and suck lightly on the tip, holding eye contact with him. The sight of your angelic face staring up at him through your lashes, saliva running down your chin was almost too much for him to bear. He knew he couldn't resist you if you continued much longer.

Within seconds you felt him capture your wrists, pulling you up to your feet as he gulped and shook his head. "Not yet, baby."

Walking you backward until the backs of your knees hit the bed behind you, he pushed you onto the mattress with a bounce. You giggled as his eager fingers hooked into the waist band of your skirt and underwear, tugging them down to reveal all of you to him. "So beautiful," he exclaimed, long fingers tracing over your chest and stomach reverently.

He hovered over you, placing kisses to your neck as his fingers found your slick folds, opening you up slowly until you were practically dripping down his fingers. Adding a thumb to circle over your clit, your back arched off the bed and he hushed you with a deep kiss which only intensified when he felt you clench around his digits.

"Need you, Benny," you whined, clutching at his broad shoulders and urging him to rest his weight over you. He pressed his forehead to yours, nuzzling your nose in a gesture far too sweet for the single, powerful thrust that came next. Tears sprang to your eyes from the exquisite feeling of fullness, the pressure on your g-spot intense and immediate.

Benny stilled the moment he'd seated himself inside you, shuddering slightly to hold himself back as he allowed you time to adjust to his size. His cool blue eyes drank you in before resuming a steady rhythm that had you writing beneath him, head tossed back onto the pillows.

The slow drag of his cock against your sensitive walls sent your nerve endings firing little sparks of heat through your core, somehow amplifying the need for more. Benny sensed it immediately, raising your leg to his hip and sank even deeper with a low rumble of satisfaction, matched only by your lustful mewls.

Spurred on by every sweet sound you made, his hips began snapping against you, a light sheen of sweat coating his chest. Your hands flew to his hair, tugging slightly at the roots as your brain fogged with pleasure. As he fucked you into the mattress, your eyes fluttered closed, only vaguely aware of him slipping his thumb into your mouth. Sucking eagerly against the salty skin, you heard Benny groan loudly as the sensation shot straight to his cock.

Removing his thumb with a pop, he snaked his hand between you to circle the small bundle of nerves at your apex causing your mouth to drop open. He leaned in for a kiss unlike before, messy and demanding. "Gonna cum for me, pretty girl?" he asked breathlessly.

You gave a pathetic nod, biting your lip as you felt the coil in your stomach ready to snap. Staring into the oceans of Benny's endlessly blue eyes, a soft static began buzzing in your ears as you heard him whisper, "Yeah? Let me see." His warm breath hit the shell of your ear just as you tipped over the edge, white heat consuming your body. Wave after wave crashed over you, melting your brain and making your limbs turn gooey.

Benny fucked you through it as he chased his own high, hips stuttering before he pulled out with a quick jerk. Emptying himself onto your stomach in hot, thick ropes, he exhaled a contented sigh and smiled down at you with a lopsided grin.

Hours later, overcome with exhaustion, you curled into Benny's side beneath the covers. Safe and warm in his embrace, you found yourself talking about anything and everything. He listened with rapt attention as you described your boring college, the pressure that came with the classes and your dream to escape, seeing the country the way Danny had.

Mostly, Benny listened, but he talked a little about his own travels too. The life he was leading fascinated you and you found yourself wishing you were part of it. However, your voice began to trail off as you glimpsed the far off look in Benny's eye.

Truthfully, Benny found the excitement in your voice endearing and he couldn't help fantasizing about taking you on the road with him. As he idly traced patterns against your arm, he found himself suddenly saying, "Runaway with me."

Clutching the duvet to your chest you turned to stare at him in disbelief. "What?"

His jaw set determinedly, he nodded to indicate he was serious about what he'd said. "Be my girl," he added, eyeing you carefully to see if you'd accept.

Your heart knocked against your chest as you swiftly agreed, moving to straddle him and take his face between your hands for a celebratory kiss.

As the first rays of sun hit Benny’s eyes, he groaned in protest. The morning had come too quickly despite his best efforts to savor the night with you. Turning over in bed to drag you closer to him, his arm stretched over the cold, empty sheets. Clutching the material in his fist until his knuckles turned white, he wondered if you’d caught a cab, leaving the moment you came to your senses. 

Shuffling to the side of the bed to retrieve his jeans, he wondered why he’d been foolish enough to think you’d go anywhere with him when you had so many other opportunities. But he couldn’t think about all that before he’d had a cigarette so he fell out the front door, digging in his pockets for a lighter.

Just as he stumbled off the concrete step, he nearly tripped over the chair you’d placed outside the door, eliciting a cry of surprise from you.

As he quickly apologized, you clutched his Vandals jacket to your shoulders, giggling at his disheveled appearance. He was still effortlessly handsome despite his hair sticking up in all directions, the streaks of golden blonde catching the sunlight and arousing another wave of desire in you. However, you noticed he seemed too distracted to reciprocate.

“I thought you left,” he admitted, graveled voice still full of sleep as he closed the motel door behind him.

You raised the hand that held your cigarette, explaining, "Just came out for a smoke.”

As he retrieved the cigarette he had tucked behind his ear, he considered you warily. "Before you took off with my jacket?"

"I was going to give it back when I came in to wake you up," you explained softly, standing to stub out your cigarette with the toe of your shoe.

He turned his back to you, pretending to survey the parking lot as he nodded in understanding, "You gotta go."

You wrapped your arms around his waist, cheek pressed to his back as you imagined you'd do many more times in the future during long rides together. "We have to go. I thought we were running away together," you reminded him with a playful nudge.

He turned around instantly, pulling you close by the lapels of his jacket for a long kiss. Smirking against your lips he murmured, "Then let's go, baby."

[lucyrose191]

Could you do Toto Wolff with wife reader? She was frustrated about work and couldn't stop herself from rambling and Toto just shuts her up with a kiss. They get caught by the team and they tease them about it. Just something fluff and comfort. Add something to it if you'd like. Thanks!! :))

CAUGHT IN THE ACT| T.WOLFF

Pairing; Toto Wolff x Wife!reader

Summary; The stresses of work have your mind running a million miles an hour but your husband knows how to slow it down.

Warnings; fluff, teasing.

Authors note; This is short but I hope this is okay!

F1 Master List

You’d never felt such a strong urge to throw your laptop across the room and tell everyone to go and fuck themselves.

Groaning, you pulled at your hair in frustration, why stupid men thought they were able to do your job better than you were able to was beyond you but clearly they had it in their abnormally large heads that they had the skill set for quite literally everything but if that was the case then they wouldn’t be paying you to take care of their finances.

Too many times have you been questioned today as though you hadn’t studied religiously for years to do this job.

"Can you double check your numbers? They don’t look correct."

"This can’t be right, there’s no possible way we’re losing money."

"I need you to review this again, I added it up myself and I got a much larger annual profit figure."

No you can’t double check his numbers because you had checked them a million times before you had sent it off.

He was losing money because he can’t get off his arse and actually run his company instead of forcing the responsibilities on his poor employees that have no idea how to run a company.

And of course he got a different number! He didn’t take the mathematical degree to work out these numbers and had no idea what he was meant to be multiplying and what he was meant to be dividing.

You slammed your laptop closed and pulled yourself up from Toto’s desk and left his office, coincidentally finding him walking towards his office the moment you stepped past the doorway.

He immediately took notice of the disgruntled look on your face and shot you a look that was a mixture between worry and confusion. "Are you okay?"

"Just work," you grunted.

His face contorted into a look of understanding. "Tell me about it," he told you and you moved to lean against the wall, prompting him to stand in front of you.

"I just don’t know why people feel the need to question my ability to do my job today-"

As you ranted off all of your issues to him, Toto simply stood there with a content smile on his face, listening to you venting your frustrations.

He thought you were adorable when you were angry.

He loved the way your forehead creased with the furrow of your brows and the way you moved your hands as you vented and how you’d aggressively force your hair behind your ear when it got in your face.

"-then this man thought that the smart thing for him to do was to include each thing he wanted me to do in like seventeen different emails, who even does that? So then I had to go through each individual one and make a list instead of-"

Toto leaned forward, cupped your cheek and smashed his lips against yours, muffling the sound of surprise you released. It took you a moment to register what was happening but once you did, you didn’t hesitate in kissing him back.

You reached up and grasped the back of his neck, pulling him closer to you, he hummed into the kiss and walked forward, pressing you into the wall before moving his hand from your cheek into your hair, holding you in place.

You channeled all of your frustrations into the kiss, his closeness making it easy for them to fade away and soon you found yourself only consumed by him and nothing else.

The pair of you were so wrapped up in each other in that moment that you didn’t hear the sound of footsteps approaching, only realising people heading your way until it was too late.

"Woah!" Lewis’ high pitched voice had you scrambling away from each other with flushed cheeks and messy hair.

You both turned towards him, only it wasn’t just him, he and George were with about five or six other people, all staring at the pair of you with smirks on their faces.

"Save it for the hotel room, guys." George teased causing the group to laugh as Toto cleared his throat uncomfortably and you looked to the floor in embarrassment at being caught.

"We apologise-" Toto started but was interrupted by a mechanic, Ross.

"Oh no, don’t apologise for the free show, boss. People normally have to pay good money for that, I’m not one to complain."

You cringed at his words as you looked up, taking note of how some people were glancing at the floor to try and hide their laughs whilst others didn’t even try.

"We don’t even blame you," James, one of the teams strategists continued. "YN is looking mighty fine today," he winked causing you to roll your eyes with a smile on your face, knowing it was all in good nature.

"James," Toto stated bluntly, causing James to turn to him. "Yes, boss?"

"Turn around," your husband told him, straight faced.

"Yes, boss," James nodded and turned around, walking back down the hallway.

"We can leave if you want to get back to-" Lewis offered, a cheeky smile on his face.

"That’s not necessary, Lewis, thank you." Toto cut him off.

He shrugged as if to say ‘your loss’.

"I mean- you could’ve at least took it inside the office." George wasn’t one to let the situation go.

"Yes we get it, George, ha ha," you shot him an unimpressed look which didn’t falter the shit eating grin on his face.

The teasing didn’t end there, it seemed that the group who found you and Toto were eager to tell the rest of the team, George even went as far as mentioning what he does when ‘Toto is busy eating his wife’s face off’ in an interview so the rest of the day was filled with subtle comments leaving you and Toto with permanent flushed cheeks.

You both took accepted the teams teasing with smiles on your faces though, happy that you both had managed to create a dynamic that left them comfortable to make jokes around you both.

[jswatson]

you know about musical tuning right? harmonics? equal temperament? pythagoras shit? of course you do (big big nerd post coming)

(i really dont know if people follow me for anything in particular but im pretty sure its mostly not this)

most of modern western music is built around the 12-EDO (12 equal divisions of the octave, the 12 tone equal temperament), where we divide the octave in 12 exactly equal steps (this means that there are 12 piano keys per octave). we perceive frequency geometrically and not arithmetically, as in that "steps" correspond to multiplying the frequency by a constant amount and not by adding to the frequency

an octave is a doubling of the frequency, so a step in 12-EDO is a factor of a 12th root of 2. idk the exact reason why we use 12-EDO, but two good reasons why 12 is a good number of steps are that

12 is a nice number of notes: not too small, not too big (its also generally a very nice number in mathematics)

the division in 12 steps makes for fairly good approximations of the harmonics

reason 2 is a bit more complex than reason 1. harmonics are a naturally occurring phenomena where a sound makes sound at the multiples of its base frequency. how loud each harmonic (each multiple) is is pretty much half of what defines the timbre of the sound

we also say the first harmonics sound "good" or "consonant" in comparison to that base frequency or first harmonic. this is kinda what pythagoras discovered when he realized "simple" ratios between frequencies make nice sounds

the history of tuning systems has revolved around these harmonics and trying to find a nice system that is as close to them while also avoiding a bunch of other problems that make it "impossible" to have a "perfect tuning". for the last centuries, we have landed on 12 tone equal temperament, which is now the norm in western music

any EDO system will perfectly include the first and second harmonics, but thats not impressive at all. any harmonic that is not a power of 2 is mathematically impossible to match by EDO systems. this means that NONE of the intervals in our music are "perfect" or "true" (except for the octave). theyre only approximations. and 12 steps make for fairly close approximations of the 3rd harmonic (5ths and 4ths), the 5th harmonic (3rds and 6ths) and some more.

for example, the 5th is at a distance of 7 semitones, so its 12-EDO ratio is 2^(7/12) ~= 1.4983, while a perfect 5th would be at 3/2=1.5 (a third harmonic reduced by one octave to get it in the first octave range), so a 12-EDO fifth sounds pretty "good" to us

using only 12-EDO is limiting ourselves. using only EDO is limiting ourselves. go out of your way, challenge yourself and go listen to play and write some music outside of this norm

but lets look at other EDO systems, or n-EDO systems. how can we measure how nicely they approximate the harmonics? the answer is probably that there is no one right way to do it

one way we could do it is by looking at the first k harmonics and measuring how far they are to the closest note in n-EDO. one way to measure this distance for the rth harmonic is this:

adding up this distance for the first k harmonics we get this sequence of measures:

(this desmos graph plots this formula as a function of n for k=20, which seems like a fair amount of harmonics to check)

the smallest this measure, the "best" the n-EDO approximates these k harmonics. we can already see that 12 seems to be a "good" candidate for n since it has that small dip in the graph, while n=8 would be a pretty"bad" one. we can also see that n=7 is a "good" one too. 7-EDO is a relatively commonly used system

now, we might want to penalize bigger values of n, since a keyboard with 1000 notes per octave would be pretty awful to play, so we can multiply this measure by n. playing around with the value k we see that this measure grows in direct proportion to k, so we could divide by k too to keep things "normalized":

plotting again, we get this

we can see some other "good" candidates are 24, 31, 41 and 53, which are all also relatively commonly used systems (i say relatively because they arent nearly as used as 12-EDO by far)

increasing k we notice something pretty interesting

(these are the same plots as before but with k=500 and k=4000)

the graph seems to flatten, and around 0.25 or 1/4. this is kinda to be expected, since this method is, in a very weird way, measuring how far a particular sequence of k values is from the extremes of an interval and taking the average of those distances. turns out that the expected distance that a random value is from the extremes of an interval it is in is 1/4 of the interval's length, so this is not that surprising. still cool tho

this way, we can define a more-or-less normalized measure of the goodness of EDO tuning systems:

(plot of this formula for k=20)

this score s_k(n) will hover around 1 and will give lower scores to the "best" n-EDO systems. we could also use instead 1-s_k(n), which will hover around zero and the best systems will have higher scores

my conclusion: i dont fucking now. this was complete crankery. i was surprised the candidates for n this method finds actually match the reality of EDO systems that are actually used

idk go read a bit about john cage and realize that music is just as subjective as any art should be. go out there and fuck around. "music being a thing to mathematically study to its limits" and "music being a meaningless blob of noise and shit" and everything in between and beyond are perfectly compatible stances. dont be afraid to make bad music cause bad music rules

most importantly, make YOUR music

[c0ld0utside]

Hi💜💜💜

Firstly I just wanted to say that I loved your writing, it's very good and I loved the story you wrote about the human father and the monster son, I would like part 2 of this story if it wasn't too much trouble (of course only if you want to do it)

What’s this, a part 2?

Yeah, it’s a part two. 

Joey and Tim back at it again.

Warnings (Let me know if I need to add any): Mention of force-feeding, mention of bondage, mention of “Joey”!Reader’s horns are filed down, mention of “Joey”!Reader getting muzzled, infantilization(?)

It’s been a few months since you were adopted by Tim, and the first few weeks with him were rough, to say the least. Any chance you got, you’d either bite, headbutt, and scratch him, or you’d make a break for it. This led to him having to file your horns down after one of them nicked his cheek and putting a muzzle on you after you bit him so hard he had to get stitches. Tim wasn’t happy about it at all.

He wasn’t happy about having to force-feed you, either. He didn’t know why you wouldn’t eat the meals he made you. Tim made sure to include everything since he didn’t know what your species ate. Meats, seafood, dairy, grains, greens, fruits…you either wouldn’t eat it or would find a way to cough it up. Tim had to settle on making you drink smoothies and protein shakes.

“I hate doing this to you. You’re not an animal, sweetness. Stop making me treat you like one.” He’d say, rubbing your head gently as he tried to help you fall asleep. It would’ve been nice had your arms and legs not been tied together with rope. “Anyone else would treat you like one, but I don’t. I know you’re sentient enough. You’re not a dog. Just work with me, okay?”

“I’m doing so much for you, you have no idea. Can you even fully understand me? Probably not. I wonder what that’s like- well, I kind of can. It’s been a while though.”

Begrudgingly, you did. You stopped lashing out and let him feed you food that wasn’t put through the blender. You pay attention when he reads you stories and shows you those silly things on his “phone.” Tim called them “educational videos,” leaving out the fact that they were targeted at pre-schoolers and elementary school kids. You fight the urge to run whenever he has you trace the cursive prints in the writing workbooks he bought.

Tim is especially understanding whenever you voice your hatred for math with hisses and growls during the middle of a problem. It was easy at first- adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing…and then fractions and decimals came in. Once you got the hang of reading and writing, Tim enrolled you in online classes. “Remember to put on those contacts I got you,”  He’ll say at least ten minutes before your first class starts.

Unlucky for you, Tim works from home as a translator, so that means no escape attempts during the day. He changed up the lock to your bedroom so it locks from the outside and nailed your window shut. “I’m really sorry sweetness, I don’t trust you entirely just yet.” Tim had explained. “It’s fair, right? You don’t completely trust me, and I don’t completely trust you to not run away.”

Today’s different. Much to his surprise, you’ve curled up into his side, watching as he translates a book into French. Tim’s surprise melts into pure joy. He wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer as he works. 

“What’d you learn today?” Tim asks, gaze shifting back to his laptop screen. “How genes work,” You reply simply. “It made me wonder who my sire is. I take after them more.” 

Tim hums in reply. “You’re a funky little guy, I’ll give you that.” He says, gently scratching your head, fingers running through your…mane? Hair? He doesn’t know what to call it. “Does your species have a name?” Tim asks, sounding genuinely curious. You shake your head.

“My parent never told me much about my “species.” We just are, I guess. That and to stay away from others because they’ll try to kill me.” You say.

“Like bears?” Tim assumes. You can only shrug. “Probably. How do bears behave?” He shuts his laptop. “Alrighty, documentary time,” Tim says, getting up to put his laptop away. 

“What about your job?” You ask, sitting up on the couch. “No need to worry. I’m almost done and I could use a break, anyway.” He answers dismissively, plugging the device in to charge on the counter. Walking back over to you, Tim grabs the TV remote off the coffee table and turns it on. Opening up some streaming service, he turns on a nature documentary and sits down next to you.

“Isn’t this nice?” Tim asks. “Sure,” you offer, reaching up to feel your horns. They’re coming back in, slowly but surely. Tim promised that he wouldn’t file them down again unless you tried to hurt him again. Which is fair. He takes notice of your movements, expression turning apologetic. 

On the TV, the narrator observes a herd of zebras. “...Is it still a firm no?” You pipe up. Tim lets you have online friendships with the other kids in your classes, but won’t let you see them in person. “On meeting up with Shay and Lucas?” 

Tim sighs. “Sweetness, you know it’s dangerous. Other humans aren’t accepting like I am, and I don’t want you to be taken away and prodded at by scientists. You’re a person, not an-” “-Animal. I know.” You cut him off irritatedly. 

“Hey,” He says, tone softening. “...How about this. You can meet up with them, but I come with you. Deal?” 

“Is that the only option I have?” You ask. “Mhm,” Tim hums.

“Fine. Deal.”

-

I'm taking advantage of my break to catch up on asks instead of writing an essay. No regrets. As always, criticism is welcome.

May I just say, you're looking divine today. Have you ever had a fruit bowl before? You should try it.

[hybbat]

I think black sails' main major flaw to me is how little focus the crews themselves get, despite how much of the story is focused on their approval and loyalty. Like the Walrus's crew all had names and I believe consistent actors and they just did not take advantage of it as much as could have been.

We get told they trust Silver at the end of s2 more than we see it and despite Silver placing his worth in their opinion of him and it driving his character for most of s3 we don't see much of his relationship with them, and the near absence of this aspect of his character goes almost unnoticed in all the plot of s4. Nevermind the other crews who at most got a named quartermaster and mostly rotated the rest of the cast throguh the ships.

Black Sails' writing is incredibly tight but I think in some ways it's almost too tight, as we only get glimpses and brief moments of telling and not showing of characters that could have done more for the story. As it is, though, walrus crew are mostly a singular mass who we get told have divided opinions but except a representative for negative sentiments that can be killed off to show the conflict's end the crew always function together at the command of whoever has spoken. You never know what Joji thinks, and just have to take for granted that he doesn't speak english and goes with whatever for survival's sake without much of a personal opinion on the nonsense going on around him.

They're actually pretty okay about it in s1 and parts of s2, but as the plot ramps up in s3 and s4 and the cast multiplies with the maroons and british anyone who isn't a main character gets pushed out. Which make sense but also the crew remains incredibly important they just replace them with Gunn and Hands, and Degroot's the only one who retains any importance.

It's more of a situation of you can't do everything, and after s1 the plot is so increbly fast paced and complex I'm not sure adding more episodes to give the breathing room needed to slip scenes with the crew in would have helped more than harmed. But it is one of those things that makes wish for... idk, like a mini series spin off thats lower stakes from the crew's perspective, like following Joji and his time on the crew. Something to even just retrospectively give a bit more weight to all the scenes of a cannon bladting 3 guys' limbs off and giving us more than the single convo Silver had with Muldoon to be sad about his death, or even just put more names to faces in the scene where they promise to look out for him.

Especially given that most of the main characters' are at least partly motivated and characterized by their relationship to said crew, whether that's Billy who is entirely driven by his care for them as brother, Flint who cares but ultimately sees them as pawns, or Silver whose character development is built around his changing relationship with them. Billy's story especially, the show treats Gunn as something of a standin for the crew in his story but the fact that Gunn ultimately never actually gives any opinions about the power shifts and falls in line with Flint without any fanfare says a lot.

They do it every once in a while where a crewmate will get aone big scene to show them off like the sniper or the leg cutting or the drowning, and I think even just a few more of those would have been great. Dufresne's treatment by the story from season to season definitely perfectly encapsulates the fall off I think.

Idk i think a lot about how we got to see every crevise of Flint's psyche while the only time Joji's name is said on screen is completely disconected from him to the point few people know his name, and seconds couldn't be spared for acknowledgement that he likely couldn't speak english to the point its equally reasonable to assume he was simply never given any lines, despite both being in the show from beginning to end. For a character who could have had his own entire series based on how the hell he got where he is and whose personal story could have so easily and heavily tied into the main themes of the show, it's pretty remarkable.

I want a prequel/sidequel with Joji as the main character, is what I'm saying.

[superdumbfan]

So I was looking at the Mario chart and I wanted to figure out everyone's height. So I use the official height of Jumpman himself of 5'1 or 154.94 cm. Considering that it takes six notches on the board to get to Mario's height I divided 154.94 cm by 6 giving me that each notch is about 25.823 repeating. The first character I calculated the height of was Luigi, he is about half a notch taller than Mario so I took my to 25.823 and divided it by 2. Then added that to Mario's height giving me a height of 167.8516 repeating. Or about 5'6. 

The character that I calculated for was Bowser. The tricky thing about Bowser though is that his shell is slightly higher than his actual head so I did two measurements for him. Going up to his shell because it is twice the height of Mario and a lot easier to calculate, he is 309.88 cm or a bit taller than 10'1. However, that height includes his shell, not the top of his head. The top of his head is about a notch and a half shorter than his shell so I calculated for this, about 271.145 cm or about 8'10. Which is interesting because there's a man in the Guinness world record book named Sultan Kösen who is 251 cm or about 8'2. 

The next character I calculate for is rather easy as well, Peach. Not including the crown, she's an entire notch taller. This makes her about 180.763 repeating cm or about 5'9, with the crown though she is about 189.37111107 cm for about 6'1. By the way the crown is about 1/3 of a notch.

The next character on The chopping block is now toad. He stands about 4⅓ notches tall, meaning I can multiply 4⅓ by the height of each notch. Which gives me about 111.901 repeating cm or about 3'8.

This one that I'm going to cover is Kamek. He is another tricky to calculate character because of his hat. The first thing I'm going to go over is his hat included height, which is 129.116 repeating cm or around 4'2. Now this is where we get into a bit of assumptions since we have no models of his hat actually being off but I would assume that he's about four notches high because that's where his hat begins to actually taper into a triangle shape and it's also where you can see the most wrinkles in the hats material. If that is his actual height, then he is about 103.293 repeating cm or just about 3'3.

I didn't bother to calculate the heights for the other two cuz not only are both of them very similar in height but their background characters are not really main characters. I don't think anyone's going to be really shocked if I say that's like 5 ft whatever. If you're curious though you can use the measurements that I used, it's very simple I use desmos.

The thing that I'm still thinking about is Bowser and if his height actually affects him in a physical way because I'm thinking of like the health problems I've very tall athletes usually have. Or if you can think of the episode from the film theorist where they were looking about ant-man's ability to change his height and how that affect him on a physical scale I wonder if the same can be applied to Bowser. Though I don't know he is a fire breathing dragon so I don't know if real world physics would affect him at all. And hell now that I'm thinking about it I might post this on the game theorist subreddit or send this to Matt Pat on Twitter I don't know yet.

[argentsunshine]

hey not doubting you at all, but do you have any specific proof that points to matpat being a plagiarist?

augh i had a whole thing typed up and Tumblr ate it

short version: there's been a lot of allegations for years. the hermitcraft one seems pretty cut and dry to me. he has also just stolen theories from the source material itself - when he made a theory on a series i shan't name, his whole theory was something explicitly canon in the books, and he doesn't acknowledge that once.

now for my own personal evidence. i consider this less "proof" and more "occam's razor says plagiarism, and the other explanation is that he's incredibly dumb". under cut because it involves fma and chemistry neither of which i can shut up about

so, here's the video in question:

I'd use more screenshots to prove my point here, but apparently game theory can't afford captions, so I'll just explain the old fashioned way.

Matthew is trying to prove that the Elric's formula for a human (water 35 liters, carbon 20kg, etc) is incorrect (ie. does not have the right elements in the right proportions to make a human.)

to do this, he has to convert the several compounds (water, ammonia, lime, salt, and saltpeter) into elemental masses.

first, he divides each element by its molar mass. so for water, that's 35,000g/(18g/mol)=1,942mol. this is correct. don't get used to it.

so saying you have a "mole" of something is kind of like saying you have a "dozen" of it - you know if someone has 2 dozen eggs, then they have 2x12=24 eggs, because a dozen means 12. moles are like that, except instead of 12 it's 6.023x10²³. so the moles we just calculated is the number of molecules of water that are in 35L - 1,942mol converts to ~1.17x10²⁷ molecules.

this next bit is where matthew goofs it. he says that to get from the number of water molecules to the number of oxygen atoms, you multiply the number of molecules by the percent of the weight of the water that is oxygen, so about 89%. i hope you can see why this is incorrect. (if you can't: each water molecule has one oxygen atom in it, so the number of oxygen atoms in the water is the same as the number of molecules of water, not 89% of it.) he then uses these incorrect figures to calculate the elemental masses. these are his final masses (which, for some reason, he doesn't show clearly):

but after a few jokes, he shows this table comparing the fma numbers to reality:

ignoring that the top ones are in g and the bottom in kg, you can see that he only gets the same numbers if he didn't have to do any conversion. somehow, hydrogen goes from just under 700g to 4.5kg. he doesn't explain why the numbers changed or where the new ones came from.

so, i did the maths myself (here's the full spreadsheet if you want to check my work):

(you'll note my "matpat mass" doesn't match either set. i was doing what he said he did in the video. i have no idea what else he did to get some of his numbers. i think the hydrogen one might be because he added the correct mass from ammonia to his incorrect water mass? the oxygen i have no idea because. matthew how is there less than 3kg of oxygen in 35kg of water, even ignoring the other oxygen containing compounds)

now some of my numbers are a bit off because of rounding errors, but you'll see that my numbers agree pretty well with the wikipedia-looking chart. this is because i, unlike matpat, understand how to do chemistry calculations that they teach to babies (fourteen year olds). but the change in Matthew's numbers from two points thirty seconds apart in the video raises the question of where the hell he got them from. way i see it, there are two explanations:

1. matthew did realise he'd explained everything wrong and his maths was off, but decided to publish the video without correcting his explanation or his first set of numbers anywhere;

2. matthew stole these numbers from somewhere else, where they'd been calculated by someone who understands chemistry 101, and couldn't even understand the chemistry well enough to replicate their results.

why bother saying all of this if it proves nothing? i need you to understand that i was in chemistry for babies when this video came out, and deep in the weeds of my fma hyperfix and my chem hyperfix. this has bothered me for a full third of my life. this isn't an explanation it's an exorcism

[renaissanceclassics]

Pilgrim's Progress: Part 1

Listen to: The Author’s Apology For His Book, at Renaissance Classics Podcast.

WHEN at the first I took my pen in hand

Thus for to write, I did not understand

That I at all should make a little book

In such a mode: nay, I had undertook

To make another; which, when almost done,

Before I was aware I this begun.

And thus it was: I, writing of the way

And race of saints in this our gospel-day,

Fell suddenly into an allegory

About their journey, and the way to glory,

In more than twenty things which I set down

This done, I twenty more had in my crown,

And they again began to multiply,

Like sparks that from the coals of fire do fly.

Nay, then, thought I, if that you breed so fast,

I’ll put you by yourselves, lest you at last

Should prove ad infinitum,

The book that I already am about.

Well, so I did; but yet I did not think

To show to all the world my pen and ink

In such a mode; I only thought to make

I knew not what: nor did I undertake

Thereby to please my neighbor; no, not I;

I did it my own self to gratify.

Neither did I but vacant seasons spend

In this my scribble; nor did I intend

But to divert myself, in doing this,

From worser thoughts, which make me do amiss.

Thus I set pen to paper with delight,

And quickly had my thoughts in black and white;

For having now my method by the end,

Still as I pull’d, it came; and so I penned

It down; until it came at last to be,

For length and breadth, the bigness which you see.

Well, when I had thus put mine ends together

I show’d them others, that I might see whether

They would condemn them, or them justify:

And some said, let them live; some, let them die:

Some said, John, print it; others said, Not so:

Some said, It might do good; others said, No.

Now was I in a strait, and did not see

Which was the best thing to be done by me:

At last I thought, Since ye are thus divided,

I print it will; and so the case decided.

For, thought I, some I see would have it done,

Though others in that channel do not run:

To prove, then, who advised for the best,

Thus I thought fit to put it to the test.

I further thought, if now I did deny

Those that would have it, thus to gratify;

I did not know, but hinder them I might

Of that which would to them be great delight.

For those which were not for its coming forth,

I said to them, Offend you, I am loath;

Yet since your brethren pleased with it be,

Forbear to judge, till you do further see.

If that thou wilt not read, let it alone;

Some love the meat, some love to pick the bone.

Yea, that I might them better palliate,

I did too with them thus expostulate:

May I not write in such a style as this?

In such a method too, and yet not miss

My end-thy good? Why may it not be done?

Dark clouds bring waters, when the bright bring none.

Yea, dark or bright, if they their silver drops

Cause to descend, the earth, by yielding crops,

Gives praise to both, and carpeth not at either,

But treasures up the fruit they yield together;

Yea, so commixes both, that in their fruit

None can distinguish this from that; they suit

Her well when hungry; but if she be full,

She spews out both, and makes their blessing null.

You see the ways the fisherman doth take

To catch the fish; what engines doth he make!

Behold how he engageth all his wits;

Also his snares, lines, angles, hooks, and nets:

Yet fish there be, that neither hook nor line,

Nor snare, nor net, nor engine can make thine:

They must be groped for, and be tickled too,

Or they will not be catch’d, whate’er you do.

How does the fowler seek to catch his game

By divers means! all which one cannot name.

His guns, his nets, his lime-twigs, light and bell:

He creeps, he goes, he stands; yea, who can tell

Of all his postures? yet there’s none of these

Will make him master of what fowls he please.

Yea, he must pipe and whistle, to catch this;

Yet if he does so, that bird he will miss.

If that a pearl may in toad’s head dwell,

And may be found too in an oyster-shell;

If things that promise nothing, do contain

What better is than gold; who will disdain,

That have an inkling2

 of it, there to look,

That they may find it. Now my little book,

(Though void of all these paintings that may make

It with this or the other man to take,)

Is not without those things that do excel

What do in brave but empty notions dwell.

“Well, yet I am not fully satisfied

That this your book will stand, when soundly tried.”

Why, what’s the matter? “It is dark.” What though?

“But it is feigned.” What of that? I trow

Some men by feigned words, as dark as mine,

Make truth to spangle, and its rays to shine.

“But they want solidness.” Speak, man, thy mind.

“They drown the weak; metaphors make us blind.”

Solidity, indeed, becomes the pen

Of him that writeth things divine to men:

But must I needs want solidness, because

By metaphors I speak? Were not God’s laws,

His gospel laws, in olden time held forth

By types, shadows, and metaphors? Yet loth

Will any sober man be to find fault

With them, lest he be found for to assault

The highest wisdom! No, he rather stoops,

And seeks to find out what, by pins and loops,

By calves and sheep, by heifers, and by rams,

By birds and herbs, and by the blood of lambs,

God speaketh to him; and happy is he

That finds the light and grace that in them be.

But not too forward, therefore, to conclude

That I want solidness—that I am rude;

All things solid in show, not solid be;

All things in parable despise not we,

Lest things most hurtful lightly we receive,

And things that good are, of our souls bereave.

My dark and cloudy words they do but hold

The truth, as cabinets inclose the gold.

The prophets used much by metaphors

To set forth truth: yea, who so considers

Christ, his apostles too, shall plainly see,

That truths to this day in such mantles be.

Am I afraid to say, that holy writ,

Which for its style and phrase puts down all wit,

Is everywhere so full of all these things,

Dark figures, allegories? Yet there springs

From that same book, that lustre, and those rays

Of light, that turn our darkest nights to days.

Come, let my carper to his life now look,

And find there darker lines than in my book

He findeth any; yea, and let him know,

That in his best things there are worse lines too.

May we but stand before impartial men,

To his poor one I durst adventure ten,

That they will take my meaning in these lines

Far better than his lies in silver shrines.

Come, truth, although in swaddling-clothes, I find

Informs the judgment, rectifies the mind;

Pleases the understanding, makes the will

Submit, the memory too it doth fill

With what doth our imagination please;

Likewise it tends our troubles to appease.

Sound words, I know, Timothy is to use,

And old wives’ fables he is to refuse;

But yet grave Paul him nowhere doth forbid

The use of parables, in which lay hid

That gold, those pearls, and precious stones that were

Worth digging for, and that with greatest care.

Let me add one word more. O man of God,

Art thou offended? Dost thou wish I had

Put forth my matter in another dress?

Or that I had in things been more express?

Three things let me propound; then I submit

To those that are my betters, as is fit.

1. I find not that I am denied the use

Of this my method, so I no abuse

Put on the words, things, readers, or be rude

In handling figure or similitude,

In application; but all that I may

Seek the advance of truth this or that way.

Denied, did I say? Nay, I have leave,

(Example too, and that from them that have

God better pleased, by their words or ways,

Than any man that breatheth now-a-days,)

Thus to express my mind, thus to declare

Things unto thee that excellentest are.

2. I find that men as high as trees will write

Dialogue-wise; yet no man doth them slight

For writing so. Indeed, if they abuse

Truth, cursed be they, and the craft they use

To that intent; but yet let truth be free

To make her sallies upon thee and me,

Which way it pleases God: for who knows how,

Better than he that taught us first to plough,

To guide our minds and pens for his designs?

And he makes base things usher in divine.

3. I find that holy writ, in many places,

Hath semblance with this method, where the cases

Do call for one thing to set forth another:

Use it I may then, and yet nothing smother

Truth’s golden beams: nay, by this method may

Make it cast forth its rays as light as day.

And now, before I do put up my pen,

I’ll show the profit of my book; and then

Commit both thee and it unto that hand

That pulls the strong down, and makes weak ones stand.

This book it chalketh out before thine eyes

The man that seeks the everlasting prize:

It shows you whence he comes, whither he goes,

What he leaves undone; also what he does:

It also shows you how he runs, and runs,

Till he unto the gate of glory comes.

It shows, too, who set out for life amain,

As if the lasting crown they would obtain;

Here also you may see the reason why

They lose their labor, and like fools do die.

This book will make a traveler of thee,

If by its counsel thou wilt ruled be;

It will direct thee to the Holy Land,

If thou wilt its directions understand

Yea, it will make the slothful active be;

The blind also delightful things to see.

Art thou for something rare and profitable?

Or would’st thou see a truth within a fable?

Art thou forgetful? Wouldest thou remember

From New-Year’s day to the last of December?

Then read my fancies; they will stick like burs,

And may be, to the helpless, comforters.

This book is writ in such a dialect

As may the minds of listless men affect:

It seems a novelty, and yet contains

Nothing but sound and honest gospel strains.

Would’st thou divert thyself from melancholy?

Would’st thou be pleasant, yet be far from folly?

Would’st thou read riddles, and their explanation?

Or else be drowned in thy contemplation?

Dost thou love picking meat? Or would’st thou see

A man i’ the clouds, and hear him speak to thee?

Would’st thou be in a dream, and yet not sleep?

Or would’st thou in a moment laugh and weep?

Would’st thou lose thyself and catch no harm,

And find thyself again without a charm?

Would’st read thyself, and read thou know’st not what,

And yet know whether thou art blest or not,

By reading the same lines? O then come hither,

And lay my book, thy head, and heart together.

JOHN BUNYAN.

[soderdog]

Character reference sheets time!!

so,, here is my fursonas refs with info about them, lets go!!!!

Whiskey

Whiskey is my truesona, I use them to say "it's me, but not me!!". They have my real name (Max**), they have long claws bc I have long nais (it's really usefull), they have same hair and eye color as me.

fun fact: I named them "Whisky" bcause I heard there character named Brandy in "Bluey". Like "ha-ha drink dogs"

Fun fact 2: Also one of their names is Scotch, bc I know only one sort of whiskey - blended scotch whiskey.

Soda

Soda is more like mascot. Or Whiskey's fursona. Soda is more ideal or cooler image of Whiskey. They have chainsaw and superpower to get chainsaws from nowhere. Also Soda is not exist. They just in Scotch's imagination.

Apple (Juice)

Apple it's worst image of Whiskey. Like if we look on whiskey in black glasses. All Apple's characteristics it's Whiskey's, but explained like something bad. For example: Apple helping only because he want to feel better or he wants a feedback. It's mean that Apple's help it's bad and narcissistic. btw you can explain everything from this pov.

Important: Apple also in Whiskey's imagination. So, all contacts Apple with Scotch only in his head. And not less important, it's the fact that Apple is more like ... Some..hmm... Something. Their body don't have any organs or bones inside, they also don't have anything that can say something abt their biological sex, but Apple can generate it, if he wants. But Apple need to know how these organs looks and works. They can do it by touch/scan it, or by reading/watching/listening about them. If you interested how apple works: Apple it's part of black mystic something, that something it's their brain and other things he needed. Yes, if you divide Apple, you will have Apple and... Other mystic silverfox. It's way how msf multiplying.

fun fact: Apple can also make their paws or neck longer, or move it around. it's means, that there no way to draw Apple's anatomy wrong. Just draw body, 4 paws, tail, head and neck, no matter where!

fun fact2: one of Apple's names is January, because I/Whiskey/Soda/Apple was born in that month!! And also it's shorts to Jan.

(not really) fun fact 3: One of Apple's names is my deadname so I wish you step on a lego if you want to know it or if you will call me by that name 🥰.

Inbetween

Apple can have inbetween form with Soda or Scotch. It's looks like Soda (or Scotch) have parts of Apple. Like Soda with black paws, or other edgy stuff. Soda (but not Scotch) also can get more paws, or wings or whatever from Apple.

If for Soda collaboration with Apple means "omg new cool superpowers, I can have two butts now!!", for Scotch it means "oh no, now I'm just like my mothers" or "I'm becoming someone who I hate"

Also, Scotch not becomes part-time Apple irl, in his case it's only metaphor, no super powers or something. They have this "dirty paws" effect only in his mind

edit 26 feb of 2023: end part was cutted. Apple and inbetween explained better. Added fun fact abt Apple. text became shorter.

edit 3 mar of 2023: added more info about Apple :)

[stillmind2]

The Devil Makes Yet Another Deal

People boarded the plane like any other time, followed the instructions accordingly, and proceeded to their seats. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Yet.

This is the story of an event where not everything was as it was supposed to be.

~o~

On one particular flight, the LAA 457, from Buenos Aires, Argentina, to Quito, Ecuador, anyone with any ailment who used the restroom would be cured immediately. Relief was felt instantly.

All illnesses would be gone.

There was a presence there. It was immaterial, like a hologram, and it spoke of a deal impossible to refuse.

There was only one condition. You couldn't reveal who you encountered inside.

By now, the readers know who I'm referring to, and as it turns out, I am one of the beneficiaries.

But I digress.

We will know him as “Mr. Happen.”

No one could make any sense of these encounters. How is it possible that He, of all people or spirits, would be the one with such an ability for healing?

It didn't matter for any of those who were terminally ill and about to die. Not only now they won’t, but there's no sign of the previous illness. 

Cancers, brain tumors, decaying organs, heart, lung, and kidney issues. All were totally and completely gone.

Science could not explain it, and neither could physics professors.

Mr. Happen would only see one person at a time, and he agreed upon a contract. A contract for one's lasting life in return for unspeakable acts of malice.

In order to qualify for a certain number of years, your deeds had to match in quality. He explained that in detail, and it was not very pleasing.

The individual's actions and their deviousness were the deciding factors. 

So, he explained, just doing something terrible wasn't enough. It had to have more dire consequences. For example, if you killed your brother, that would give you a number—maybe adding a year to your life—but if you lied and destroyed his reputation during the funeral, you'd get quite a bit more. And so forth and so on. He wanted to cause as much discord as possible.

Everything was multiplication and arithmetic. Add and subtract, divide, or multiply. Eventually, life itself would take it to a different level. Algebra equations.

Then quantum mechanics.

Mr. Happen was on a mission.

People would earn or lose points depending on the way they achieved evil deeds.

But to Mr. Happen, the way you get there was what was most important. How can one produce the most elaborate way of creating more complications after the initial act?

Nobody wanted to hear the details. They were all willing to save their skin and do whatever was necessary to live as long as possible.

Life. More time on earth. That's all that counts.

Everybody wanted to participate. Unfortunately, mothers too, especially those with many young children, toddlers! Those were high on the list. They had a very high number in Mr. Happen’s book.

Sacrificing one or two could add ten whole years to mum’s life! 

Naturally, hysteria ensued. The state of the world didn't help matters, either. Lately, everybody has been dying of something. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. 

It got to the juncture where the now-landed plane had to be closed off and surrounded by authorities, but not for security. They sealed access to it so they could confer with Mr. Happen themselves.

So, Mr. Happen came up with a solution. He gave instructions to build bathrooms everywhere, just like the one on the LAA flight. Exactly to a “T”.

There was no need for the plane, just the bathrooms. 

Within days, as more and more people were dying for unknown reasons, probably of some plague, the hysteria turned into chaotic madness. No one was safe. At one point, it got so bad that people were committing the most brutal crimes, taking videos and notes, and rushing to confess to Mr. Happen and get their due credit.

Everything stopped: travel, vacations, going to work, social gatherings—all ceased to exist.

People were dropping dead everywhere, some holding the evidence of their malicious acts in their hands. They died before they could ‘collect’. 

People have erected Boeing plane bathrooms in the most unexpected places. Inside churches!

The idea was to hold on to religion, even though it was completely hypocritical and phony. But they held to their faiths tightly, even if they had to work with the dev….oops!

End of Part 1

(Blurb from the upcoming Part 2):

The world was unrecognizable. No one was acting normal. The disease affected millions, but only a few individuals were spared. Scientists couldn’t come up with a denomination for it. Worse, it seems to mutate or have the faculty to disappear right in front of the technician’s equipment. Then it would reappear again without any sense of logic. One day, it was one virus; the next day, it would be ten. Most were deadly. Some were quick; others would kill the person so slowly that many lost their minds.

Seeing such horrors, Mr. Happen saw an opportunity to make even more contracts, so out of his own will, he produced clones of himself to accommodate the surge in “customers.”

Everyone wanted to go to the bathroom. 

~o~

[the-thieves-gambit]

Shaking her head with a giggle, she decided to stick to the safer topic of conversation before she did give in after all. "Not at all, she'll be excited to work with you It'll also be a way for me to see how she does with this." It wasn't because she didn't think Mai couldn't handle it but she wanted to make sure that Mai was thinking things thoroughly. As much as Elizabeth liked to have control over what was going on in the office, she also wanted to begin to create that divide between work and the life she was trying to build now. A strange concept but one she needed. The first thing she needed in being able to start taking a step back would be her feeling confident on Mai's ability to stay safe while doing her job. This would be the perfect way to see Mai's mindset. "I think I'll let you two discuss details. I'll just input if needed."

Stifling a laugh, she nodded with a tight lipped smile as he continued to describe the aliens. "And you would be the cutest." Her hands came up to cup either side of his face and squish his cheeks a bit.

"Hmmm, maybe I'm just the birthday genie." The words were said softly against his lips with a knowing and teasing tone. "Well, that would be up to the one making the wishes, wouldn't it?" Taking a step back her mind quickly came out of the gutter at the mention of desserts and his mother. Never had she ever craved the approval of someone so much. It only multiplied ten fold when Victoria insisted that she call her mom. She knew she didn't need to prove anything but she wanted to. She wanted to feel like she had earned this happiness somehow.

"I hope it's not serious, doc." Meeting the girl half way, she kneeled and held out her wrist for Annie to take. She had expected her to look like her father or her aunt Diana, so to find her in totally different clothing from what she had first expected took her by surprise. It was nothing compared to what Annie told her she was actually dressed as. It felt like the first time she was taken in by an undercurrent when she wasn't paying attention to the water in Gokarna when she was kid.

Taking a moment realizing this was real, she smiled wide, eyes on tearing up. "Of course it's okay." She wrapped her arms around Annie in a quick hug before letting her go and holding her out to see her again, this time registering how much like her she did appear. "You really do look great in that jacket, better than me honestly." Shaking her head at her boyfriends comment, she honestly didn’t expect him to share anyway, she turned her attention back to Annie. “You also look ready to do some investigating." Gratefully taking the adorable bucket she said a thank you as she looked it over and decided that this was a new favorite thing. "How about I hire Izzy Bizzy tonight for the case of filling of the bucket up with candy. How many houses will it take for me to fill this in? "

As the doorbell rang, she stood back up and hastily undid her ponytail and redid her hair so it was up in a bun, now they matched. Holding out one hand for Annie, she held onto the pretty ghoul bucket in the other and let the girl lead her out. "You're also going to be my tour guide for this and want to know a secret?" She leaned down and softly added. "This is also my first time trick or treating so you'll protect me from the scaries, right?"

"Oh, really?" Wally punctuated his words as he raised his head to look at her. The smirk clear on his features as she could read what he was thinking. "Lucky for you I do like it a little bit rough." The topic back to Mai made him semi chuckle. "Consider it done. I think this won't put her in the middle of danger. But you're right. We need something more concrete to get him on. I can't go in there and say based on a gut feeling I think he's guilty. Mind if I go in with you next week? I kind of want to talk to Mai and three heads are better than one."

"They won't know what hit them." he genuinely believed that and wasn't said in a mocking tone. He knew better than most what a force his girlfriend was. "There's like four. It's a pack of these antler things. Especially when you see how wobbly these little babies are." A laugh escaped him at the thought of his nieces and nephews were bouncy wobblers. 'I'm actually a teeny bit jealous of their onesies. I'd rock one of these. No shame." Comfort would always beat embarrassment.

He hummed back and pushed his nose against hers. "Would you say you're in the business to grant birthday wishes? Lucky night and all?' Liz had an uncanny ability to derail his entire thought process with one of her intentioned kisses. "Unfair," he bit her bottom lip and followed in licking his own lips. "If she has her way you'll be on your way to be better than her." An eyeroll and a half chuckle later he made a show of eating the piece of dessert slower than normal. "May need to pry this plate out of my hands though." He made a show of watching her move and his expression changed into one of utter appreciation.

Annie gasped and quickly got out of his grasp and ran toward Liz. "I am a professional! I can check you out. Pulse please?" The little girl grinned and bounced being excited now that her tia was out. She looked down at her outfit and shook her head. "I don't need it." Annie let a beat pass and giggled. "I'm my favorite superhero." she poked her tummy and smiled. "I call this my lizzy bizzy costume." Wally watched from his chair and caught his girlfriend's gaze. In a way telling her that she had indeed inspired someone just by being herself. Raw and unfiltered self. "I'm strong like you. I'm smart like you and I look really good in a jacket." It dawned on Annie that maybe this could be weird for her so quickly had a solution. "Is this okay? If not I can change."

Wally put his hands in the air and smiled. "I've shared some only because I got a button. I got bribed into sharing." That made Annie laugh then lifted the bucket. "This one is for you. You can get candy too. They don't disimemante." So close for Annie but she meant discriminate. "Everyone gets candy and treats. I'll work on the word."

"We need to go. All the good candy comes out between now and now." The door bell rang and that made Wally get up to get it. "I'm on it." Grabbing the candy bowl and was heard making conversation with the kids who had pretty cool costumes. He'd leave the bowl out just so people could grab it while they were out trick or treating.

[groundcontrol21]

Sicktember #18

Prompt #18: Nausea/Upset Stomach Alternate #4: Taking a Sick Day

Fandom: The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015)

Title: Lazy

Summary: The combined forces of Napoleon and Gaby just might be strong enough to force Illya to take a sick day when he really needs one. 

“HETCHHH’uhh!” 

Illya hunched forward, catching the sneeze he had been fighting a losing battle to contain in steepled hands, his elbows resting on the dining table. He sniffled, pinched his nose quickly, and sat back up with a little shake to clear his head, only to find Napoleon staring at him critically from where he sat across the table.

“That’s the third time you’ve sneezed this morning, Peril.”

“Congratulations,” Illya said, sniffling again as he felt his nose run, “you can count.”

Gaby called to them from the tiny hotel-room kitchen, where she was cracking eggs into a pan. “Are you feeling alright, Illya?” She paused to peer at him over the counter. “You look a little flushed.”

“And you sound congested,” Napoleon added, his eyes narrowing further, before he smacked his hand on the table and rose from his seat. “I’ll get the thermometer.”

“There is no need!” Illya called to his retreating form. “I’m just a little tired.”

Napoleon returned from his bathroom, brandishing a thermometer in his hands with an annoyingly flamboyant flourish. “From being sick.” He held out the tube to Illya the way a parent might hold out a spoon to feed an infant. “Open up.”

Illya would not submit to this. He kept his mouth firmly shut and his arms tightly crossed.

“Either you take your temperature,” Napoleon said, “or you’re not getting any of Gaby’s fabulous eggs.”

“That’s right,” Gaby added. “Napoleon and I have no problem eating your portion.”

Illya rolled his eyes. “You are the worst partners I could ever have.”

“Yes, we actually make you look out for your own well-being.” Napoleon gave a mock-gasp and clutched at his heart. “The horror.”

With a glare, Illya took the thermometer from Napoleon and slipped it beneath his tongue. He parted his lips in order to breathe around the device, the little glass tube hanging from his lips like an exotic type of cigar. Napoleon kept his eyes fixed on his watch, steadfastly ignoring the impatient drumming of Illya’s fingers on the table. 

Napoleon pointed to his partner as soon as the five minutes were up, who instantly removed the thermometer as though it were causing him physical pain. Illya squinted at the mercury. “It’s American numbers,” he snapped, letting the glass device fall to the table with a clink. “I don’t know what this means.”

Napoleon edged close enough that he could tap Illya’s temple. “Come on, Peril. Use that brain. It’s just a little bit of arithmetic.”

“It’s stupidity, is what it is.” Illya dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, rubbing and sighing. “Either give me a real thermometer or do it yourself, if you’re so smart.”

“Let’s see,” Napoleon said, picking up the thermometer and holding it to the light as if he were inspecting a counterfeit bill. He tapped his chin. “101 minus thirty-two is sixty-nine, multiplied by five is 345, divided by nine is 38.3. What do you think of that?”

Illya lowered his hands and peered at Napoleon with reddened eyes. “Is not that high.”

“It’s a fever.”

“A small one.”

It was Napoleon’s turn to sigh. “Small or not, it’s still a fever, Illya.”

“Hardly.” No doubt detecting Napoleon’s rising desire to strangle him, Illya shrugged and let the matter drop. “Whatever. You owe me the eggs.” His breath began to hitch, and he rubbed at his nose in an unsuccessful attempt to stave off the inevitable. 

“Hehh’RSHHH’uhhh!” 

Still sniffling incessantly, nostrils glistening with wetness, Illya rose from the table. At Napoleon’s and Gaby’s questioning looks, he grumbled, “I left the tissues in the bathroom.”

As soon as his back was turned, Napoleon and Gaby shared a profound look, because he had known he was sick at least from the moment he got up this morning, if he was rifling through hotel-room tissues and remembering where he had left them. 

***********

Illya returned to the kitchen with a crumpled tissue pinched to his nose, and the complimentary box of tissues the hotel gave them tucked beneath his arm. “Heh’ESHHH!”

“Gesundheit,” Gaby said as she plated up eggs and toast.  

Illya gave a grumbling nod, before he realized Napoleon was not where he had left him. “Where is Cowboy?”

“Calling Waverley to tell him you’re taking a sick day since we know you won’t do it.”

“What?” Illya yelled, throwing down the box of tissues on the table. “I’m fine!”

Gaby opened her mouth to say something, but Illya did not stay to let her finish; rather he stalked past her and into the sitting area of the room where the telephone was kept, and where Napoleon currently was, leaning against the wall with the receiver pressed to his ear, nonchalant like a schoolgirl speaking to her friend over the line.

Illya grabbed at the wire and growled, “Napoleon, I will take this cord and wrap it around your neck.”

Infuriatingly, Napoleon merely chuckled into the receiver. “He’s actually right here threatening to kill me if you’d like to talk to him.”

With a brisk nod, Napoleon pressed the receiver to Illya’s ear, and the man had no choice but to take it from him lest it drop. Waverley’s voice, silk-smooth as always, greeted him on the other side of the line. 

“Mr. Kuryakin, hello.”

“Mr. Waverley, sir,” Illya rasped, and cleared his throat a bit more painfully than he would have liked.

Illya could practically hear Waverley’s eyebrows raise. “Mr. Solo wasn’t kidding, that does sound like quite the cold you’ve got, Mr. Kuryakin.”

“I’m fine, sir,” he said quickly, swallowing down a cough. “We can still meet—“

“No, no, that’s taken care of. We’ve rescheduled for Friday. Nothing time sensitive, nothing that couldn’t wait a couple days. Take care, Mr. Kuryakin, and feel better.” 

Illya blinked, feeling slightly dizzy at how quickly the conversation had turned against him. “I will, sir,” he said, and remained standing there, stunned, holding the receiver for a couple moments after his handler had hung up with him. 

Napoleon patted him on the back and gave him a smug grin. Illya ducked out from beneath his touch, and grumbled. “Now what do we do?”

“That’s the beauty of a sick day, Illya,” Napoleon said magnanimously. “Anything you like.”

“Well, I would like to be meeting with Waverley…”

“My bad,” Napoleon cut in. “I should’ve specified. Anything you like, from a preapproved set of options.” 

“So much for your American freedom,” he muttered, coaxing a laugh from Napoleon. Illya shuffled back toward the kitchen, leaving Napoleon to follow. “Well, what are these options?”

“First, I say we eat the breakfast Gaby has so kindly prepared–”

“Hhhh’RSHHH!”

“Bless you. Then, we can–”

“Ehh’HKSHHH!”

“Bud zdrovy.”

“Hehhh’ESHHHH’uhh!”

“Second, I’d say, is finding you some more tissues.”

With a glower, Illya pressed a wet and crumpled tissue to his nose and gave a long blow. “Stop looking so happy about this,” he mumbled, feeling his ears pop. In all honesty, he was beginning to feel grateful Napoleon had made the call to Waverley on his behalf, though he would rather die ten times over from pneumonia before admitting it.

“Happy?” Napoleon repeated, pressing a hand to his chest in dramatic affront. “At your suffering? Never.” He herded Illya back to the table, where a plate of breakfast was already waiting for him. “I’m just ecstatic at the opportunity to laze about on the couch all day.”

“Lazy American.”

“What can I say, it’s in my blood.”

“Couch does sound nice, though.”

Gaby had sat down to join them, but paused halfway through a mouthful of egg. “What?”

“You heard me,” Illya growled, sniffling a bit and giving a soft cough. He rolled his eyes. “It’s Cowboy. He’s corrupting me. His weakness is probably what made me sick in the first place.”

“Whatever you say, Peril,” Napoleon said as he slathered his toast with altogether too much butter. “Whatever you say.”

[mypoisonedvine]

It’s Always The Quiet Ones... | college AU dark!Peter Parker x (slightly)naive!reader

for @nsfwsebbie​​‘s dream fic challenge, I was assigned to write something for @harryspet​​ which was vv exciting bc I love her stuff ;-; no pressure right? lol (also thank you to @evnscvll​​ for being my proofreader, sounding board, and partner for some very strange texting for the purpose of screenshots!)

Here is the prompt I got: peter is a dork and is weird and quiet, and the readers friends dared her to sleep with him. turns out he was really kinky and is really good at sex. can be dark.  And hoo boy, did I run with that.  I hope you like it!!

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: smut (it’s consensual but with dubcon undertones, manipulation, and implied coercion/dubcon at the end), stalking, blackmail, voyeurism, and general creepiness.  Oh yeah and there’s some degradation and dacryphilia in there for good measure.

You and your friends were in the middle of your daily cafeteria lunch, chatting about the same sorts of small talk you always did.  

“Oh god, it’s that weird guy from class!” Jackie blurted out suddenly around a mouthful of fries, pulling you out of the conversation you’d been having.  Everyone at the table whipped around and your eyes went wide. 

“Come on, don’t look all at once,” you hissed.  

“Who is this guy?” Cody asked, looking around with confusion.

“The guy in the blue hoodie over there,” Jackie answered, motioning toward him with her head.  It was Peter, setting down his tray of food and opening up his laptop, putting earbuds in.  He was pretty much always on his laptop, it seemed like.  He took a bite of his pizza before getting back to whatever he was working on.

“He looks normal, or normal-ish,” Mia shrugged.  

“No, no, you don’t get it,” you shook your head.  “We have him in Computational Physics on Tuesdays and Thursdays--”

“Plus Friday lab,” Jackie interjected.

“--and he’s… kinda…”

“Creepy,” Jackie concluded.

“No,” you denied, “not creepy.  He’s just… a bit awkward, I guess.”

“And he stares at you, like, the entire time we’re in class.  But won’t even talk to you.”

“Oh, that’s weird,” Mia agreed with a shudder.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “it’s kinda… sweet, maybe?  I mean, he’s just shy, right?”

“Oh my god you are such a slag!” Jackie teased, shoving you on the shoulder.  “You’re into him, aren’t you?”

“No!” you denied with wide eyes.  

“You’re just into the attention,” Cody rolled his eyes.

“I mean, it’s kind of flattering, isn’t it?” you admitted.  Jackie laughed.

“You should go over there and talk to him,” she decided.

“Nooooooooo, no way,” you shake your head.

“I kinda wanna see this,” Cody smirks.

“Literally just go over there and flirt with him, his head would explode,” Jackie suggested excitedly.

“I don’t even know how to flirt,” you chuckled.

“So you’re considering it!” Mia accused.

“I didn’t say that!” you squeaked.

“Pleeeeeease,” Jackie whined playfully.  “It’ll be funny.”

“I don’t usually sleep with people for comedic effect.”

“I’ll chip in $20 if you do it,” she offered immediately.  She turned to the rest of the table, “come on guys, we need to pool together and make her do it.”

“I’ve only got a ten,” Cody mumbled, pulling it out slowly before Jackie snatched it away.

“Okay, $30, who can make it $50?”

“Jackie, calm down,” you hissed.

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t sleep with him for $50?  He’s cute!”

“I have $35 and 67 cents,” Mia counted, shuffling through her wallet.

“Oh my god,” you groaned, your head falling into your hands.

“Just do it, for me,” Jackie said, suddenly sounding oddly serious.  You didn’t understand why it mattered so much, but you decided it couldn’t be that bad if you just did it.

“Fine, fine, just shut up and don’t stare at us,” you instructed, getting up to a ruckus of cheers.  You didn’t even take the money.

You walked across the cafeteria, messenger bag slung over your shoulder, and hoped you wouldn’t totally make an idiot of yourself.  If you hadn’t already just by talking to a guy over a dare.

He didn’t seem to notice you when you stood by his table, still focusing on his computer.

“Um, hey,” you waved, and Peter looked up at you as he took out his earbuds.

“Hi,” he replied quickly.

“What… what are you working on?” you asked, motioning to the laptop.  He didn’t stop looking at you, and he didn’t say anything.  “I… we have comp together?  You know who I am, right?”

“O-of course I do!” he suddenly perked up.  “Yeah, I just…” he trailed off and turned to his laptop.  “I was just working on this model.”

“Can I take a look?” 

He smiled a little, and moved his backpack out of the seat next to him.  “Go ahead!”

You sat down and leaned in to look at his screen.  

“It’s-- it’s not finished but, basically I just put the kinetic energy of an object on the x-axis, the potential energy on the y-axis--” 

You used the laptop’s touch screen to move the model around, impressed with his work.  “And the z-axis is the conservation of energy for work done on an object,” you finished.  

“Uh, yeah, exactly,” he nodded.

“It’s beautiful!” you realized, appreciating the variety of colors as each data point was suspended in the graph.  

“Do you do any modeling?” he asked you, and for a hot second it felt like a line.

“Um,” you laughed, “no, not much at least.  Nothing extracurricular.”

“Oh.”

“I’m more into abstract math, if I’m being honest.”

He smiled.  “Oh, you’re one of those.”

You laughed, shoving him on the shoulder playfully, but regretting it as you saw his smile drop a bit.  “People are so judgmental about abstract math, as if it isn’t the study of the founding principles of mathematics.”

“So you think adding a pineapple and a banana is the foundation of mathematics?” he quirked an eyebrow.

“Okay, there’s so much more to abstract mathematics than weird variables,” you frowned.  “Like basic functions on matrices!  Don’t act like it isn’t dope as fuck to add, subtract, multiply and divide matrices.  If you saw my whiteboard in my dorm you would understand.”

“If I had a whiteboard now I could prove to you that abstract math is overrated,” he countered.

“I’d love to see you try,” you scoffed.  You hadn’t really meant it literally.  

“I don’t have anything for the rest of the day,” he shrugged.  It took you a moment to realize he was suggesting to actually come to your room and talk about math.  You weren’t sure if that was even what would happen if you went back to your dorm…

You opened your mouth to say that you were busy, that you couldn’t, that you shouldn’t, so you were a little surprised when you heard yourself say “sure” instead.

And that was how you ended up sitting on your kitchen counter with Peter Parker between your legs, kissing you like you’d never been kissed before.

It sort of happened all at once.  He just grabbed you and you were confused but went with it, because life is short and he was cute and his hands felt unexpectedly wonderful as they gripped your back.

You gasped a bit when he started to pull your shirt over your head but he didn’t slow down, quickly removing his own-- oh, hello there six-pack, nice to meet you-- kissing you again as he wrapped his hands around your waist and slid you off the counter, guiding your legs to wrap around his hips.  He carried you to the bedroom with unexpected grace; he was so much stronger than he looked.  And he looked different than he ever had before as he tossed you down onto your bed and started to kiss his way down your abdomen while his fingers slipped under the waistband of your shorts.

“Oh god, Peter!” you yelped as he kissed along your thighs, pulling down your shorts and underwear and tossing them to the side.

“Say my name again,” he demanded before instantly latching onto your clit, sucking and licking directly onto the bundle of nerves.

And you really had no choice in the matter, his name pouring from your lips over and over, accentuated with a yelp as he shoved two fingers into you, finding and massaging your g-spot before you could even process everything you were feeling.

“Oh my god, fuck, Peter!” you hissed, your head falling back onto the mattress so hard it bounced a little.

You were barreling towards an orgasm faster than you probably ever had before.  This was nothing like the few other hook-ups you’d had since starting college-- it wasn’t even like the times you’d been alone with your hand or a vibrator.  This was like an assault on the senses, so powerful that you couldn’t even really keep track of the sounds you were making or anything that wasn’t his mouth on you and his fingers in you.

“I’m gonna come, oh my god, I’m gonna come don’t stop please--” you moaned as your words turned into mostly incoherent nonsense.  How could you be expected to form a sentence in these conditions?

Thankfully, he didn’t stop.  He kept lapping at your clit as if he hadn’t even noticed your pleading, his fingers twisting inside you even as your walls clenched so tightly around them that it became difficult to keep up the pace.  Your hips involuntarily bucked against his face, your legs quivered as he refused to give you any reprieve from the sensation, but he kept going.

“Oh fuck, fuckfuckfuck Peter I can’t-- it’s too much-- oh god,” you babbled, but it fell on deaf ears.  A small part of your brain was confused why he wouldn’t stop-- you hadn’t told him outright to stop but it was kind of implied, right?  Wasn’t it some amount of not okay that he was still going?  It made your gut sink in a way that was equal parts disturbing and erotic.  

You were trying to pull away but his arms wrapped around your thighs and held you down.  God, he was strong.  He looked kind of skinny in those hoodies he was usually wearing, but now that he was actually exerting some force he was clearly muscular.  You felt helpless and it, oddly enough, turned you on.

“Peter, please, oh my god, slow down I-- I can’t take any more,” you whimpered; your voice came out all high-pitched and squeaky and it would’ve been embarrassing if you had enough brainpower left to care.  

He groaned against your skin but said nothing, using his teeth to lightly graze your clit.  Your whole body jerked at that, a sob tearing from your lips suddenly.  It felt like you were past the point of orgasm now and just lost in some sort of aggressively intense world of pleasure-- it neared pain, really.  You had never been pushed to your limits like this; you hadn’t even realized that there were limits which one could be pushed to this way!  It was exhilarating and exhausting and overwhelming.  You fought tears from forming because it would be so embarrassing to cry right now, and he would probably freak out and think you were hurt or something… maybe you were hurt, you couldn’t even tell at this point.  But at this point, it was unstoppable.  You were fucking crying from the overstimulation and he hadn’t even put his cock in you yet.  Your face was so hot that your own tears felt cool as they poured down your cheeks.

Finally, he stopped when he heard your sobs.  But instead of concern or fear or confusion, his expression was simply joy.

“Oh, you look so cute when you cry,” he cooed, sliding back up your body to kiss your tears away as they fell.  Then he kissed your mouth, open and sloppy and aggressive, and the taste of yourself on his tongue made your head spin.

Before you could collect your thoughts, he pulled back and made quick work of his jeans and boxers-- fuck, he was big.  

“You’re too kind,” he grinned, discarding the clothes and stroking his cock a few times.

You hadn’t realized you had said it out loud, and you felt a little nervous but then he was on you again, kissing you roughly and forcing his tongue into your mouth.  You felt him reaching down, gripping his cock and rubbing it through your folds.  You were soaked, and swollen, and nearly sore.  Every time the tip slid over your clit, you jumped a little.

He pushed into you ever so slightly, moving the head of his cock inside you and nothing more.  You whined with confusion and anticipation, but he continued on teasing you.

“Please,” you whimpered into his kiss.

He pulled back and looked down at you, his eyes blown so wide that they looked like they’d gone black.  “What was that?” he asked, and you sighed because you knew he could hear you the first time.

“Please, Peter,” you repeated, louder, “I need more.”

“More…?”

You sobbed with frustration, and desire.  “Fuck me, please.”

He thrusted forward and you groaned as his cock stretched you open.  It was like night and day, how he went from slowly teasing you to slamming into your eager walls.  You cried out and gripped at his arms, just trying to steady yourself and maybe stop your skull from whacking the headboard if possible.

“You love it, don’t you?  You love my cock,” he growled.  His voice was lower, gravelly.  He sounded like an entirely different person.

“Yes,” you replied weakly.

“Say it,” he demanded.

No one had ever talked to you like this before and it made your cheeks burn.  “I-- I love your cock,” you stammered.  

He smiled and you hoped you’d done it right, and that he wasn’t smiling at your obvious nervousness or lack of experience.  You didn’t understand how this was normally supposed to go, because you didn’t normally hook up with people so casually-- you had just never really been interested in it.  But now that he was fucking you so hard you could barely breathe, you were starting to get the appeal.  God, your last boyfriend hadn’t even made you come in five months of dating, meanwhile five minutes with Peter had made you a sobbing mess.  Even now you were biting your lip to hold back your tears from the sheer intensity of the sensations you were experiencing.

“Oh, you poor thing,” he pouted condescendingly.  “You don’t wanna cry but you can’t help it, huh?  You’re my dumb little crybaby aren’t you?”

You tried not to react to that but you knew he felt your walls clench suddenly.

“You like that?  You like being my stupid whore?”

“S-stop,” you begged weakly, feeling beyond humiliated.

“But you like it, angel, I can tell.  Don’t lie to me.”

He reached down to swirl his thumb over your clit, laughing at the way you tensed up and tried to squirm away.

“Is it too much princess?” he asked, but the nickname read less sweet and more mocking.  “Isn’t this what you wanted?  You asked me to fuck you.  Begged me.  Now you act like you can’t take it, like you’re this delicate little flower and not the dirty fucking whore I know you are.”

“I-- I’m not a whore,” you denied even as you struggled to suppress your obvious arousal from the derogatory nature of his words.  You felt a little guilty for being into it, and slightly insulted, but fuck if it didn’t make your back arch and your throat dry and your pussy so excessively wet.

“Oh, don’t play dumb,” he scoffed.  “But, maybe you’re not playing.  You really are dumb, aren’t you?”

You logically knew that it was too late to deny anything he said, but you still clung onto your dignity as best you could.  “N-no!”

“Not all the time, just when you’re wet.  Isn’t that right?  You get so desperate for cock and you don’t wanna be smart, you just wanna be somebody’s brainless fuckdoll.”

That sounded so appealing in some forbidden, filthy way and all of a sudden you were going to come again, any second now.

“Yes!” you nearly screamed, falling into your pleasure.

“Come on my cock, baby,” he encouraged, “come for me.”

You didn’t even sound like yourself with the noises you made, or maybe it was just that you’d never had the chance to make noises like that before.  Either way, your orgasm crashed through you and nearly punched the air out of your lungs.  Your toes went numb.  You didn’t even know that could happen.  And most important of all, your walls tensed and fluttered so hard that he began moaning into your ear.

“Fuck, ‘m gonna come inside you.”  You couldn’t tell if it was a warning, like he was asking permission, or if he was just informing you of his intentions which you would be powerless to stop even if you told him not to.  You didn’t have to find out because you were on the pill, but it made you realize all too suddenly that you should’ve had him put on a condom-- how could you have forgotten?

His moans turned hoarse and with a growl and a tightened grip on your hips, he spilled deep in you, coating your walls as his length flexed and twitched inside you.  For a moment you were just stuck like that, his weight holding you down as he caught his breath, and finally he rolled to the side and you could breathe cool air again.

“That was…” he began but trailed off, pulling you closer and kissing your shoulder.  “You’re amazing.”

It was quite the shift from how he had been talking before.  It was comforting, but you were still a little confused.  “Really?”

He laughed softly.  “Did you not notice?  God, I’ve wanted you for so long…”

You were curious about where he was going with that, but then he suddenly sat up.

“Do you want some water?” he offered.

“Uh, yeah,” you smiled.  “The cups are in the cabinet just to the left of the microwave.”

He nodded and gave you a quick peck on the cheek before sliding out of the bed, slipping his boxers on over his still-hard cock which was now coated in your come and his, and dashing out of the room.

You were mostly content to just lay there, although you felt uncharacteristically sore between your legs, and quite… sticky.  You glanced over to your whiteboard and realized he never had any intentions of talking with you about abstract math.  Was this just a one-time thing, or was he going to come back and ask you out?  Were you boyfriend and girlfriend now?  Or were you just a clueless romantic who thought that sleeping together meant more than it really did?

You rolled over and saw Peter’s phone resting on the bedside table.  He must have set it there when he was stripping quickly while you two had been making out-- or that’s what you were pretty sure the order of events had been, it had all happened so fast…

At that exact moment, the screen lit up with a notification.  You were about to roll back and not look at all, until you got a glimpse of the words.

PHYS 507, row 3, seat 14

You furrowed your brow.  It looked like an alert for an upcoming class, except that this was your class, the one you had with him, and it wasn’t until tomorrow.  No assignments due today, either.  And what was with the row/seat thing?  Peter didn’t sit in the third row… you did.

You picked up the phone just enough to angle it to see the rest of the notification.  It wasn’t a calendar alert; it was a text message.  “PHYS 507, row 3, seat 14” was the contact name.  You could only get a preview of the message…

okay, it’s done isn’t it?  can you please delete those pic….

You were curious, or maybe just concerned.  Was the seat number supposed to be the person texting him?  How were you supposed to keep track of who sat where to know who it was?

It had to be somebody from your row, but it was just you, Jackie, and a bunch of random dudes that Peter had never seemed to have any interaction with.

You assumed you wouldn’t be able to unlock the phone to even try to snoop, which you didn’t want to do anyways, but when you slid your thumb over the screen, you gasped when it opened straight to the conversation.  Who didn’t put a password on their phone?

okay, it’s done isn’t it?  can you please delete those pictures now?  I did what you asked.  I won’t tell anyone.  just send me proof that the photos are gone, please.

You felt a little sick.  You had no idea what this meant but it scared you.  You saw the conversation from before but it didn’t make any sense.  You scrolled back up to try to figure out what they were talking about and gasped when you saw a picture Peter had sent to the contact.

It was Jackie.  But she wasn’t alone.  She was on her knees in the lab room, and you gagged when you realized what she was doing-- or really, who she was doing it to.  

She’d told you she had a casual thing with a new guy but refused to say who it was.  You realized why now.  She was fucking your professor, and you just knew she was doing it to get a better grade.  You had been trying to figure out how she was earning higher marks than you but never seemed to be able to discuss the class material.  It all made sense now, but it wasn’t a comforting feeling.

You scrolled down a bit to see the conversation after the photo, and your blood went cold as you read it.

You saw several more messages but you couldn’t bring yourself to read any of it.  You knew everything you needed to know.

You weren’t sure what inspired you to open his camera roll… of course you wouldn’t find anything comforting there.  But you had to see for yourself.

It was just a list of folders, so many you could keep scrolling for ages.  Each had a label and a thumbnail image.

The thumbnail of Jackie on her knees jumped out first.  PHYS 507, row 3, seat 14.  45 images.

A girl in a lacy bra posing for the camera.  PHYS 509, row 1, seat 8.  12 images.

Two girls making out in a crowded room, holding red solo cups.  ENGL 104, row 12, seat 5.  6 images.

A nude selfie in front of a mirror.  PHIL 108, row 2, seat 2.  14 images.

And then the one that made your heart stop.  It was a picture of you in a bikini, taken by a friend on spring break.  PHYS 507, row 3, seat 13.  1 image.

The second you jumped up, dropping the phone, he was there with your promised glass of water in hand.  

“What’s wrong?” he asked innocently.  Just a second of silence was enough for him to pick up his phone from the floor and realize what had happened with a grin.  “Oh, that,” he sighed, slipping it into his pocket after looking down at it with a sort of loving look, like he was proud of his work.  “I suppose it’s my fault for leaving my phone right there, without a password, knowing I would get a text from Jackie any minute.”

“You wanted me to see it,” you grimaced, “you wanted me to see what you did to my friend.  What you did to all those girls.”

“I didn’t do anything.  They do all the heavy lifting, I just hack them and get pictures of it.  Or, in your friend’s case, I hack them, find out they’re fucking the professor, and follow them to their next rendezvous.”

“You’re fucking sick,” you spat, and he just shrugged.  “You’d better delete those photos of Jackie.”

“I will, don’t worry,” he soothed.  “It’s a shame though, she was pretty prolific.  You, on the other hand, you’re a good girl.  You even had pretty good security, I respect that.  Here’s a tip: your ISP creates the intranet that your wireless webcam uses to connect to your laptop.  It’s password protected, but it defaults to your phone number, and most people never change it.  Including yourself.”

You shivered.  “You watched me with it, didn’t you?”

“Well, I had to since you didn’t have any good photos of yourself.  And you do a decent job of erasing your porn history… but not a perfect job.  You watch some interesting stuff.  And you look so hot with your hand stuffed in your panties, rubbing yourself to whatever nasty shit you’re watching...”

“Shut up,” you demanded, covering your ears, “stop, please.  This is so fucked up.”

He laughed a little.  “You look better in person though.  A webcam could never capture how perfect you look when you come.”

“Please just stop,” you sobbed.

“Stop what?  I’m just telling you the truth.”

“I should’ve listened to my friends.  You’re a freak.”

“Hmm, you seemed to like it before.”

“Just delete those pictures of Jackie… and let me go…” you seethed.

“I will,” he promised.  “But, I need something to make up for the loss of some great spank bank material.”

You felt sick.  But what else was new?

“I need to finally get some good pictures of you.  Come on, isn’t it sad that your folder is so empty?” he pouted, pulling the phone back out from his pocket. “I could ruin a lot of lives with these folders.  Just let me take a few photos and you can spare them all the humiliation.  Nothing I haven’t seen you do before.”

You really really wanted to just deck him, but you knew he could probably release those photos with just one push of a button.  He was prepared.

“Don’t post them,” you pleaded.

“You’ll be good?”

You clenched your jaw.  “I’ll be good,” you answered through your teeth.

“Oh, look at you,” he cooed, “such a sweet girl you are.  Helping out your friend even after she threw you into the lion’s den to protect her secret.”

You hadn’t thought about it that way.  A pit formed in your stomach.

“Now come over here and get on your knees,” he grinned, turning on the camera.    

[theladybarnes]

NO STRINGS ON ME - CH.5: ULTIMATUM

“'Cause you don't see me. And you don't need me. And you don't love me. The way I wish you would. The way I know you could”

▸ summary: things get more intense as lines are finally drawn ▸ characters: steve rogers, tony stark, clint barton, vision, & wanda maximoff ▸ word count: 5,788 ▸ warnings: angst, lots of canon dialogue ▸ series masterlist

Dinner surprisingly went peacefully. Tony and you had clearly been both annoyed by Steve enough that you made a sort of divide. Staring at which friend would sit at which side. At first a part of you felt childish resorting to that, but that didn’t stop your heart from beating fast when it looked like Natasha was going to sit by Steve. She stayed neutral by pulling up a chair to sit by Layla over at the kids table.

 Bruce had been pretty oblivious to it all and took a seat beside Steve, making Tony frown for a moment before he shrugged it off to tamper with his phone. Checking for updates on the recent Hulk search. Steve had of course decided to sit right across from you, picking up his gaze now and then to try and catch your eyes. You at least were successful in avoiding him throughout the dinner. That is until you both caught Clint and Laura share a quick sweet kiss, making you both seek out the other. 

 “We have to plan our next move.” Nick Fury, coughed. Bringing the end to the casual dinner and business back on the table. Which you were very much thankful for, considering all the topics you currently wanted to avoid. While a few of you helped clear up (Tony suddenly disappearing from the seat beside you of course), Fury helped himself to a snack, letting you guys in on Ultron updates. 

 “Ultron took you folks out of play to buy himself time. My contacts all say he’s building something. The amount of vibranium he made off with, ..I don’t think it’s just one thing.”

 There was always the chance he was either going to use it to create a stronger army, or worse, a stronger body. The way most of the guys were able to take out the iron legions that he stole, it’d only make sense to make himself more sturdy.

 “What about Ultron himself?” Piped in Steve, making you steal a glance at the sound of his voice. Tony, who noticed your gaze, waved you over to where he was, handing you a dart to play with rather than finishing up the dish you had been drying.

 “Oh, he’s easy to track. He’s everywhere. The guy is multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit.” 

 You had to bite down on your lip from the dirty joke, not expecting a comment like that from Nick Fury of all people. “It still doesn’t help us get an angle on any of his plans, though.” He added, looking down at his small snack.

 Tony threw a dart, insisting on starting a game with you. “Is he still going after launch codes?” You took your dart and angled it to the left a bit, hitting the circle closest to the center. Earning a glare from Tony as Fury went on.

 “Yes, he is. But he’s not making any headway.” That was both a relief and worrisome thing to hear. If he had access but did nothing right now that was good. But it was worse that he had access and decided to use something he had up his sleeve, which was probably worse than nukes.

 After Tony went again with his dart, you threw your second one, knocking his dart out of the way as you hit the dead center. “I cracked the Pentagon’s firewall in high school on a dare.” He pointed out, making you roll your eyes. 

 “You also nearly got arrested for that from what I heard. Genius plan, Tony.” He pushed you a bit for that, knocking your face against the beaded door that you stood by. Fury, not caring about your small petty fight, went on with the conversation.

 “Well, I contacted our friends at the Nexus about that.”

 Steve seemed to be drawn back in now. “Nexus?” The only time you ever heard about Nexus was during your time in the academy back in SHIELD. They promised the small group of you a chance to visit the place, get a look at what future jobs you could be transferred to eventually. But that plan went out the window just two years later..

 “It’s the world internet hub in Olso. Every byte of data flows through there. Fastest access on Earth.”

 You couldn’t help but let out a dreamy sigh at Bruce’s explanation. Without realizing that it caused a few heads to turn and look at you. Blushing a bit, you shook your head, trying to move the beads to cover your face a little bit. “Sorry, it just sounds like a dream.”

 Natasha beamed over at you, giving you an affirming nod at your statement. Tony, now seemingly just as interested in the place as you are, patted a hand on your shoulder, silently agreeing with you. “Just give me five minutes in the place.” He whispered. 

 Clint, having heard Tony’s comment to you, brought back the attention. “So, what did they say?” 

 “He’s fixated on the missiles. But the codes are constantly being changed. 

 “By whom?” THWIP. 

 A flying dart nearly pierced between you and Tony, causing the both of you to jerk your heads to the side. 

 You both turned around to catch Clint giving a proud shrug. Obviously proving that he’s the better marksman at this little game the two of you had been playing. 

 “Show off.” You scoffed, glaring at the man. Tony, mirroring your face, grabbed Clint’s darts and placed them back on the counter. Taking him off the board. 

 Eventually, the conversation turned more serious, bringing the group to gather closer around the table. Ultron was planning something big, something that you guys had to figure out how to stop or at least how to battle against. With an insufficient body, there was no telling how many versions of himself that he made. 

 Fury was right about outwitting the bastard. The only clue you could pick up was that whatever he had planned next, would be a bigger evolution than just a humanoid like body.

 Bruce, being the actual smart one as always, piped in with the most helpful sort of insight. 

 “They don’t need to be protected.” He stared down at a drawn photo on the table, making you peek over Tony’s shoulder to catch sight of a yellow butterfly. “They need to evolve.” 

The rest of you simply stared back at him, piecing together that much information. “He’s going to evolve.”

 “How?” Fury inquired, tilting his head at the doctor.

 “Has anyone been in contact with Helen Cho?”

 ��It didn’t take long for a plan to form up. The group needed to divide and conquer. Taking care of different areas in order to stop Ultron from fully being a physical being. Whether it was bolts and vibranium, the power behind the body would be too much to handle. 

 Tony was quick to insist you join him to Nexus. Promising to make it worthwhile. A part of you was ecstatic to not only visit the place, but do something you loved with Tony. The other part couldn’t help but worry over your friends. Wondering if maybe backup was needed. 

 But like everything else lately, Steve turned down that notion before you could even open your mouth. Reminding you that you were still technically on injury and should do something that you’re familiar with to help out. Which felt a little backhanded, but he wasn’t entirely wrong. 

 “I’ll take Natasha and Clint.”

 “All right. Strictly recon. Sprout and I will hit the Nexus. We’ll join you as soon as we can.” You glanced over at the two, trying not to sound a little mad that they had such bossy attitudes about what you were going to do. But considering you weren’t on their team and just temporarily helping, you didn’t have much say anyway.

“If Ultron’s really building a body…”

 “He’ll be more powerful than any of us. Maybe all of us. An android designed by a robot.”

 Frowning at the thought, you finished gathering up your things before you walked over to stand in between them, looking over at Steve warily. Noticing the familiar disgruntled look on his face. 

 “You know, I really miss the days when the weirdest thing science ever created was me.”

 You couldn’t help but scoff a bit at that, shaking your head at his snide remark. “Another thing you can’t seem to get past. You should probably work on that, Cap.” Despite feeling proud for the jab back at him, you had to pinch the side of your thigh from changing your tone when you noticed the slightly hurt look spread over Steve’s face. Even Tony raised a brow at that.

 Fury thankfully slid in time to head off, interrupting the three of you. “I’ll drop Banner off at the tower. You mind if I borrow Ms. Hill?”

 “She’s all yours. Apparently.” Tony noted. “What are you gonna do?”

 Fury, cool as ever, gave off a simple reply “I don’t know. Something dramatic, I hope.”

 Watching as he left, Tony took the distraction nudge you with his elbow, nodding over at Steve before he clapped the blonde’s shoulder. Parting with a simple goodbye as he walked over towards the stairs to ready the ride for Olso. 

 “I don’t want to leave with us fighting.” Steve sighed, leaning in to speak more directly with you. “If something happens, I don’t want either of us to have said something or leave with doing something we regret.”

 “Maybe you should have thought of that before you brushed me off five hours ago, then tell me you had a vision about a girl that you’re still not over from seventy years ago, and then boss me around like I’m your employee.”

 “Scout, it wasn’t seventy years ago for me. Time for me is different.”

 “And these past four years didn’t change your mind at all?” He reached over to try and cup your cheek, wanting to give you a kiss or something that could fix this. But any contact caused you to flinch. Making your snap your head away from his hand. 

 “Be safe.” Is all he could murmur to you, settling on pressing a gently finger to rub at your cheek before he marched out of the home. Leaving you feeling guilty, but even more upset about all this.

 “You know, he was frozen at one point, but I don’t think anyone can handle that kind of cold.” Tony quipped, taking slow steps over. When he finally came back to your side, you didn’t hesitate to pinch at the back of his elbow Earning you a high pitched yell from the older male.

 “Mind your business, genius.”

 Before he could retaliate or tell you off, the two of you sobered up as you heard the small sounds of Laura and Clint saying their goodbye. Obviously in all this drama, the two of you didn’t remember that Clint had a lot waiting for him back home. Something that made you feel bad for not thinking about when it came to pairing up for the mission.

 It isn’t till they both share a quick kiss that the two of you look away, heading towards the door when you hear Clint part Laura with some final words. “Remember, if you need me, I still have Barton comms on me.”

 The two of you can’t help but pause in place, jaws dropped as you both heard what he just said. “Oh my God.” You whispered, looking over at a very much amused Tony as he feigned clutching his pearls. “He’s totally copying us.”

 “I told you! Completely copying.” 

 What you both didn’t seem to notice was the sound of Laura’s laughter as she closed the front door to the home. Watching with a grin as the team climbed aboard the quinjet.

  The trip to Norway was not easy on you. Though the quinjet cut down the amount of time it took to get to Norway, the two of you couldn’t help but feel more exhausted the moment you landed. 

 A small group of the employees there that were star struck by Tony instantly flocked over as soon as the doors finished opening. Greeting you both so warmly as they never had quite the guest before. 

 Per usual, Tony fluttered around the peacock he thought he was. Giving peace signs to any sort of cameras that flashed up at him before he asked to go into the main control room.  The two of you were short on time, but you felt sort of bad from stopping them from getting in a few questions with your brother. Settling for pulling out your tempad from your bag to try and sneak your way into their system.

 It was all glorious of course, seeing all the machinery and inner workings of the Nexus. You’d definitely have to come back when the world wasn’t about to end. The control room itself felt incredibly immense the more you stepped in. Making you awestruck for a moment. “I feel like a power ranger right now.” 

 “Please, you could be better than that.” Tony said, rolling his eyes. “Right now you could be an avenger. Get all the right kind of attention I think you deserve.” Two of the assistants stole a quick photo op behind Tony’s back, making you cringe at the amount of spotlight someone like him could get. 

 “Yeah, no thanks.” 

 Shrugging his shoulders, Tony stepped up to the small control board, twinkling his fingers as he looked over the keyboard. He pressed a few keys, tapping the screen to life when he began to think aloud to himself. “A hacker who’s faster than Ultron. He could be anywhere, and this is the center of everything.” He gave you a slightly worried glance. “We’re just two people looking for a needle in the world's biggest haystack.”

 A curious Nexus employee stepped forward, wanting to see for herself just what Tony had in mind. “How do you find it?”

 “It’s pretty simple, you bring a magnet.” Shaking your head, you notice another photo op happening again and move in to cover your face by resting it on Tony’s shoulder. Reading the encryption he started to type in. 

 “I’m decrypting nuclear codes. And you don’t want me to.” He sang as he typed in more playfully. The showboating always made its appearance when strangers were around. “Come and get me.” 

 Leaning up, you read over the starting line before raising your hand to stop his movements. “You’re going with your Iron maiden attack?” A small hint of pink spread over Tony’s cheeks at your question. Making him lean in closer to you for privacy. 

 “Yeah, kid. What’s the big deal? It’s my go to key.”

 “I know it is. But have you given a thought to the fact that Ultron might know that too?” Inching forward, you delete the beginnings of his decryption before looking back at him. “By now we both know he’s smart enough to have set up alert systems and firewalls to any sort of virtual attack we can do.”

 “…Shit. I didn’t think of that.” He muttered, trying to go through his repertoire of keys he can use. Giggling at having a small upper hand for once, you reached deep into your pocket and pulled out a harddrive. 

 “I have been working on this for a little bit now. Wanted to have something I can use more globally when it comes to detection.” Placing it into the palm of his hand, you watched as he booted up the drive, reading over the program diligently. “I made it to try and find that ghost of ours easier. But considering how bad Ultron is ghosting us, now seems like a good time to use it.” 

 He didn’t waste time starting up the program. Watching with a grin as it loaded up perfectly. “Wow, it’s actually working perfectly.”

 “Like a magnet?”

 “A giant one.” 

 He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in close for a side hug. “You did good, kid.” 

 “Didn’t even need to hack into the pentagon for it.” 

 “Hate to break it to you, but that’s exactly what we’re doing now.” 

 “…shit.” 

 It’s only about twenty minutes later that you two are bidding goodbye to the staff, thanking them graciously for their help before you’re back in the air on the quinjet. You’re happy that things seemed to be going according to plan. For once things were looking hopeful. 

 “Tony, Scout, come in. Are you guys done at Nexus?”

 You reached over for the comms link, replying back to Clint. “Hey Clint, just got back in the air. We got what we needed. Everything okay?” 

 “No, we need you guys to come back a little faster.” 

 “What’s wrong?” 

.

“Ultron’s got Nat.”

  The trip back to the tower felt painfully long after you received word from Clint. He was able to make it back with the cradle, but with Ultron having taken Nat, it didn’t feel like any sort of win. All you could do is worry as you anxiously bounced your leg in your seat. 

 It didn’t help that on your end with Steve the comms didn’t seem to be going through. Somewhere along the line the connection dropped. You had to bite down the guilt that came up your throat at the reminder of your last moment with him. Worried if something might have happened to him as well.

 Bruce had everything prepared and waiting as you two finally arrived. He straightened up when the two of you began to enter inside his lab. “Anything on Nat?”

 “We haven’t heard. But she’s alive, or Ultron would be rubbing our faces in it.”

 His words were only slightly comforting, making you wince at the idea of what he could be doing instead of simply just killing her. 

 “This is sealed tight.” Clint noted, hopping off the cradle as he looked it over. The four of you surround the object for a moment, staring down at the machinery.

 “We’re gonna need to access the program, break it down from within.” Bruce sniffed, tampering already with the screen in front. Tony nodded his head, pushing his hands inside his pockets before he glanced back to Clint. Who looked a lot like how you felt right now.

 “Any chance Natasha might leave you a message outside the Internet? Old-school spy stuff?”

 Ideas could almost be visibly seen as they began to stir inside Clint’s head. “There are some nets I can cast.” He tapped your shoulder, motioning for you to follow him. “Yeah, we’ll find her.” 

 Giving Tony a hopeful look of confidence, you turn on your boots and make haste at following Clint towards the stairs. Possibly to his work station which he’s dubbed his ‘nest’. 

 Instantly the two of you perched yourself onto desk chairs. You, searching up any sort of camera sightings or traffic lights of the directions that Ultron could have taken Nat. And Clint, looking up old servers, transmitter signals, and even as far as some local news channels for unusual sightings. It was the perfect mix of old school and new school. 

 You were so focused on the screen at one point that you didn’t seem to notice Clint had been watching you fondly. Making you smile bashfully. “What?” You laughed. 

 “It’s nothing. Just think it’s a shame we never got to work together at SHIELD. Training you was always a blast, but we really could have done some killer work together.”

 Smiling at your friend, you nodded in agreement. “We would have killed it.” 

 “We would have. Now let’s kill it at finding, Nat.”

 Soon after the two of you put in all your energy looking for her. When it became clear that your end was soon more of a dead end, you took to watching over Clint’s shoulder. Noticing him focusing on a single signal before a pleased smirk spread over his face. “Please tell me you’re smiling because you got something.”

 “Not just something,” he placed the headphones over your ears, writing down something on a pen and pad. The sounds of beeps in a repeating pattern were all that you heard. “I found her.” 

 “Thank God!” You sighed in relief. Before he could reply back, the sound of muffled yelling could be heard upstairs. Along with clanging and the sound of machinery shutting down. “What the hell?” 

 Clint reached under his desk for his gun and walked over towards the skyline above the lab. From your distance you could barely make out who else had gone in there. Squinting for a second, Clint’s confusion turned into a frown as he sent one shot into the glass above. 

 Pietro, the male Maximoff, had fallen through, looking up at Clint with confusion. The older male pressed one foot against his chest as he taunted the speedster. “What? You didn’t see that coming?” 

 The sounds of glass and Tony’s repulsor were all that you needed to hear before you crossed the room to the stairs, catching just in time to see Steve pick himself up from the ground and Wanda send off Bruce.

 “What the hell is going on?!” You yelled, rushing over to Steve. “Are you okay?” Checking over his face, you make sure to see that there wasn’t any red in his eyes. With Wanda around there was no telling what she’d do to the group.

 “Lover boy’s pissed, Sprout. I’d back off.” Tony yelled from behind a luggage crate. 

 “What?” The confusion grew even more intense when Thor slid in the room. Intense and tired, he shot up onto the cradle, holding his hammer in the air.

 With one collective shot, he slammed a surge of thunder into the cradle. Sparking it up to overload in power. It’s silent for a moment, that is until the machine explodes, sending Thor flying. The power of the explosion caused pieces of the lid to fly out across the room. Making Steve pull you aside to block any debris against you with his arm. 

Suddenly in a red blur, a figure kneeled out of the cradle. Shocking the group as they all stared in awe of what had just come to life. Something about them felt ominous, and powerful. Right when you were about to ask who that was, he shot straight forward at Thor.

 “I don’t want to kill Ultron. He’s unique and he’s in pain. But that pain will roll over the Earth. So, he must be destroyed. Every form he’s built, every trace of his presence on the net. We have to act now. And not one of us can do it without the others.

Maybe I am a monster. I don’t think I’d know if I were one. I’m not what you are, another not what you intended. So, there may be no way to make you trust me. But we need to go.”

  “I cannot believe you went ahead and created another sentient robot!” You yelled, smacking Tony over the head with your hand.

 “Stop hitting me!” He hissed.

 You mimicked him, giving him a smack to his arm this time. “Stop hitting me! How about stop trying to make things?!”

 “Look, at the time it seemed like a smart idea. We needed someone to beat Ultron. He was getting stronger than us and..look, it ended up working out great. We got an ally!”

 The two of you glanced over to where the Vision stood. Unclear what you could even call them considering they were part JARVIS, part Ultron,Tony, Bruce and Thor. And apparently really powerful thanks to that stone that was attached to his forehead. The Vision seemed to sense being watched and turned over to the two of you. Stepping- correction, floating over to where you guys stood in the back of the lab.

 “Miss Stark, I’m sorry if my actions earlier frightened you.” The voice was a clear perfect version of what JARVIS sounded like. What was familiar and comforting growing up, felt a lot more distant than you would have liked. 

 “It’s okay.” You chuckled a little, not really sure how to talk to them. “Glad to have you on the team, Jarv- Oh wait. What would you like to be called?” You asked softly, not wanting to offend them in any way. 

 “Vision..I like Vision.” 

 “Okay, then I’m glad we have you on the team, Vision.”

 Tony, who was still miffed at the slapping he had just received from you, scoffed at the interaction before muttering how he had to set up a new AI. Thor approached the two of you next, giving your head the usual pat he does when he greeted you. “I must speak with Vision for a moment, Little Lady. You better prepare for battle.”

 Nodding your head, you head over towards storage lockers. Going to find one of Natasha’s tactical suits you could hopefully squeeze yourself into when a blur pushed you aside. Pietro, having taken Natasha’s red jacket gave you a wink before he stalked off. “Jerk.” You scoffed, moving to reach in the locker.

 “Scout, we need to talk.” 

 You choose to ignore the voice behind you, finding the suit you were looking for. “Sorry, Jiminy Cricket, I gotta go help save my friend.” Steve’s large hand reached over to close the locker shut, causing you to turn around and face him finally. His large build had you up against the locker, which usually would be a hot thing, if he didn’t have the ‘Captain’ look on his face.

 “He did it again, sweetheart.”

 “I’m not getting into this with you. If Vision being able to lift up Thor’s hammer isn’t good enough to show that the creation was for the greater good, then I don’t know what to tell you.” Trying to move out of the way, he placed his arm on your other side keeping you boxed in. “Steve, as much as I’d like to play around with you. I think we should stick to that three minute warning you ordered.”

 “That’s what I want to talk about next..”

 “What? You want us to leave later?”

 “No, I want us to leave in three minutes.” You opened your mouth to ask what his deal was when he cut you off. “I want you to stay here.”

 The anger instantly bubbled up inside you, making every part of your body heat up in the fury that you felt right now.  Despite all that’s going on, he still wanted to play this game where he thought you were some hopeless girl, who couldn’t even help on the recon part of a mission. But now with the situation getting worse, and your best friend needing to be saved, he wanted to go back to holding you down.

 “I can’t believe you would even suggest- No, I can’t believe you would even think I would stay here with all that is going on, Steven. The people of Sokovia are in danger because of Tony..because of us. I owe it to them to try and help save them.” 

 A red blush swept over his cheeks when you called his full name. There hasn’t been a point in your relationship together that you two had this much tension and anger, but it’s all the two of you seemed to be good at these days. In the back you noticed Pietro horribly trying to act like he wasn’t listening in, but you didn’t care if you had an audience.

 “It’s not something I want. But this isn’t just us battling HYDRA. These are actual killing machines and you’re…” he couldn’t seem to find the word he wanted to use. “They won’t hesitate to kill you and with your injury, there’s no telling how well you can do out there.”

 “Cut the crap, Cap. You don’t think I’m good enough to fight alongside you.”

 Shoving him back, you make your way over to the locker in the back that had your usual belongings and grab your boots. “I can assure you that my leg is feeling better than ever and I’m going whether you like it or not.” Steve settled with sitting down on the bench rather than boxing you in this time. His brow knitted together as he looked over your leg. 

 “Scout,” When you didn’t stop reaching for your items, he reached out to stop you. “Please stop.” His tone was hard, but laced with a sadness that you couldn’t quite figure out why. “I need you here. If you’re out there with us, then I’ll worry about your safety, I’ll be unfocused. I need you to have my back on this.”

 “You have a lot of nerve saying that you know. Implying that this isn’t like HYDRA when you’re literally trusting them more than me to guard your back?” You feel another pair of eyes on you and you really try hard to ignore the twins still lingering around. “Think about what they’ve decided to work for, what they joined. They belonged to the same organization that has hurt so many people. People like your best friend.” 

The brunette’s face came into your mind, reminding you how they treated Bucky down in that bank. Shaking your head, you glanced to meet Steve’s eyes. “You expect me to sit back here and let them be the ones helping you and my own brother? You really think I’d trust them like that?”

 “They weren’t around for all of that. They want to change, they’re the ones who wanted to stop Ultron first when they discovered what he wanted to do with the cradle.”

 “That doesn’t mean they weren’t for the destruction of the avengers!”

 “No, they did not want that exactly..”

 “Right, just Tony. In case you forgot, I happen to care about that guy.”

 You release your arm from his hold and make your way to go and change when another hand is wrapped around your arm. Frowning, you turned to face Steve again only to be shocked to see Pietro frowning at you. “Oh.” You gasped, unsure why he stopped you. 

 “We had our reasons..But we see now that we have a bigger enemy. Ultron has to be stopped. Let us be civil.” He reasoned, seeming to understand a little about your feelings on this. 

 “Let her go, Pietro. She’s going to do whatever she wants anyway, right?”

 Wanda popped out from behind him, moving to circle around you almost. Not wanting to be trapped in one of her vicious visions again, you stepped away from them. Needing the breathing space. “Right, I do what I want.” You said, giving a tight lipped smile. Getting out of the locker room, you barely made it out to go to the private office before Steve caught up with you.

 “Scout, I’ll get on my knees and beg if you’ll stay.”

 “Steve,” you sighed, reaching out to grab onto his forearms. “Please don’t ask this of me. Understand why I need to do this, why I can’t just stay.” He leaned in to press his forehead against yours, making you close your eyes as you tried to get through to him. “If you make me stay..you’ll lose me, Steve.”

 “Please don’t say that. It’s unfair.”

 “Making me stay behind when all my friends and family could get hurt or worse is unfair.”

 “But I could lose you either way...”

 Pulling back, you stared up into his eyes. “You don’t have to. You only need to trust in the fact that I can do this. That we can work together as a team. Like last time, honey.” He closed his eyes at the pet name, seeming to enjoy the softness in the tone you used with him. “Steve, I love-“

 “Who is Bucky?”

 The two of you stilled in place, almost turning frozen at the name before you glanced to the side. Wanda, who followed you both had a curious look on her face. “What did you say?” Steve asked slowly, looking at you briefly. 

 “She mentioned your best friend and when I couldn’t figure out what that meant, a sudden thought popped into her mind..The man with a metal arm, is that him?” You couldn’t help but gulp at her words, not sure when you even thought about him hard enough that she would sense it. 

 “Stay out of my head, bitch.”

 Her green eyes flickered with a fury before she waved her hand. “Your thoughts were loud enough for me to get the idea. As soon as she mentioned him it was all that ran through her mind.”

 “What are you talking about?” Steve huffed, getting worked up again. “Scout?”

 “I don’t know what it is that she means, honestly. I thought about him because he’s your friend, they’re HYDRA. I guess the run in with him came up in my head?”

 “That’s not what I mean-“

 Something on your face must have given Wanda a change of mind, whether it was because of your fear, your hurt, or maybe she just decided she wasn’t amused by making the fight worse. “I just wanted to know who he was because we don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. Not even your brother.” She ended, clapping her hands together. “In case you needed to be assured of his safety. And I’m also here to inform you both that the wheels are up in a minute.” Nodding her head, she quickly took her exit.

 “You were thinking about Bucky..”

 “Well, one of us has to. Since you suddenly changed your opinions on people that work at HYRDA. Maybe we should find Brock Rumlow and see if he’s up for joining the battle?” He sighed again before he nodded to himself, seeming to come up with a perfect reply.

 “I’ll play by your games then, Scout. Stay or else it’s over.”

 “You can’t be serious.”

 He shook his head, heading in the direction that Wanda did. “I am. I’d rather you stay here and hate me, than love me and possibly get hurt. You’re not enhanced, you’re not an iron man, you’re a girl who’s got a big heart and a bad leg.” 

 The tears you did not realize you were holding back on were now spilling freely onto your cheeks. Hating the idea of this being the fight that would put such a heavy ultimatum in your relationship. “Steve, don’t do this..”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t risk losing you too.” Without another word, he strode off the hall, leaving you without the chance of picking whether to stay and fight for love, or go and fight for life. The choice was made for you the moment you heard the sounds of the quinjet leaving.

A/N: I can’t believe we’re almost done with this movie! Steve is..LOOK, I love steve but he’s gonna be a little bit of a jerk in this movie. I hope y’all forgive me V_V

TAGGED REQUESTS: @justanothermagicalsara

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Mega Leech

Like every cartoon ever made, today's episode is the environmental episode. We all know how high-quality those tend to be, right?

Let's get into the twelfth (chronologically the tenth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Mega Leech.

We start off with the shyest girl in Marinette's class, Mylene, mentally preparing herself for a protest with her boyfriend, tough guy with a soft side, Ivan.

Wow, real subtle foreshadowing there, writers.

The thing Mylene and Ivan are protesting is something called the “Oxygen Project” by Mayor Andre Bourgeois, which will supposedly create fresh air for Paris. To be fair, this isn't just a random character trait they slapped onto Mylene like what we've seen with other episodes this season to justify their new Akuma forms. Back in the Season 2 episode “Reverser”, a major plotpoint for the final act was that Andre was about to approve a project that would send trash into space, which Mylene and Ivan were protesting at, before the titular Akuma threatened to send the trash back to the Earth. This show can get weird at times.

Even though they're the only two protesters, Andre still has Officer Roger Raincomprix take them into custody. To his credit, Roger does try to resolve things diplomatically, and is very hesitant to take them to his car (even though they aren't handcuffed and there's no divider), he only does so when his job is threatened by Andre. And let's get the obvious joke out of the way now because there's going to be a lot of moments like this.

Marinette sees the event from her house, and after running late to school resulting in a brief moment of Unfunny Marinette Slapstick, tells the class what's going on. Surprisingly, instead of ignoring the whole situation like every other episode she's been in, Ms. Bustier decides to actually be a teacher for once and calls Roger. She says that she'll supervise their protest while the rest of the class comes with her.

Back at the park, Andre is about to chop a tree down with a chainsaw, but is soon called out by Ms Bustier. Mylene calls out Andre for the obviously not eco-friendly project, but he soon plays an ad for the Oxygen Project.

Huh. So this is how Druidia's canned air business took off.

To be fair, this is actually a funny scene, as it does feel like an over the top commercial you'd see, especially the kind that gets promoted by a politician. Of course, this funny joke is soon followed yet another reminder that Marinette likes Adrien, because the writers assume the audience will forget if they aren't bashed over the head with this knowledge every episode.

And as usual, Adrien ignores Marinette's odd behavior around him, but that's more because he's distracted by the ad, because he was told it was for perfume (did the oxygen line not give away the purpose of the commercial?). Quick question: Why is Gabriel taking part in this? Why is a fashion designer being commissioned to create a bottle for a government-sanctioned project? Does he just invest in random projects and hopes they'll go under so he can akumatize someone? As for Mylene, her classmates are naturally confused as to why she is opposed to this project if it's good for the environment. Her response is something that can ironically be used to criticize this very show when talking about the Oxygen Project.

We then get a moment where, of course, Chloe is the one to say she doesn't care about trees despite having no real prominence in this episode. Seriously, this is the only line she gets and it's to remind the audience how much of an irredeemable monster she is.

Oh my God, Astruc, why don't you just say she's a climate change denier while you're at it, seeing how you already view them as criminals? You clearly want to throw every negative character trait and label at her, don't you? If you're so crazy about hating her, why not make Chloe Captain Planet villain levels of evil?

Marintte points out the obvious flaw in Andre's plan to stop pollution by selling air in plastic bottles that can easily pollute the ocean, which gives the Mayor a lot of bad press, and even though she's the one to say this, Mylene still shames her for ignoring her attempts to get people to protest because she was busy. Yes, the show is seriously trying to blame Marinette for not doing enough to help the environment on top of her various other responsibilities like PROTECTING THE CITY OF PARIS ON A DAILY BASIS.

The families of the kids come to support the protest, and Andre tries to call Gabriel for help, but he basically tells him to figure it out himself, supporting my earlier theory in the process. He transforms into Shadowmoth and sends an Akuma and an Amok to Andre. This transforms him into Malediktator again and and gives him a Sentimonster ally, the titular Mega Leech.

Mega Leech is another example of a Sentimonster with a simple design but a really interesting set of powers. As soon as its summoned, Malediktator jumps into his mouth and summons an army of minature clones of himself (making me wonder why they didn't call the Sentimonster “Micromanager”) to jump into the ears of civilians and control them directly like Plankton in that one episode of SpongeBob. It's a pretty terrifying concept and a really clever extension of Malediktator's mind control powers.

Adrien transforms into Cat Noir and tries fighting off the Malediktator clones, but obviously gets overwhelmed by their sheer numbers. Marinette soon pretends to be possessed by a Malediktator clone to get Mylene to run away while she transforms, once again summoning her Lucky Charm as soon as she meets up with Cat Noir because the animators really want to show off the new suit. She uses the Lucky Charm, a single ice skate, to break the mayoral sash around one of the Malediktator clones and frees the Akuma and Amok, but Mega Leech is still around, along with the brainwashed civilians. She and Cat Noir realize that the Akumas and Amoks must have multiplied when Malediktator cloned himself. Ladybug tells Cat Noir to distract the Malediktator clones (the latter actually acknowledging how he always has to do that)

Ladybug meets up with Mylene in the sewer where she had escaped to earlier, only to find the girl crying. Ladybug offers Mylene the Mouse Miraculous, but she turns her down because of how scared she is. Unlike when they tried to do the same thing by having Zoe doubt herself in “Queen Banana”, this scene makes sense because Mylene has consistently been shown to be a very timid person. It feels much more believable to see this from her. Granted, it's undermined by Ladybug saying that Mylene is already like a superhero because of her protesting for a good cause. I get she's trying to reassure her, but the whole environmental lesson is kind of muddled by saying Marinette doesn't care about the environment because of how busy she was FIGHTING CRIME. Thankfully, the lesson is more about bravery being able to move onward in spite of fear.

Nevertheless, this still motivates Mylene to take the Mouse Miraculous and transforms into Polymouse.

And boy, is it bad. I'm not trying to body shame Mylene here, I'm glad they didn't try and slim her down either, but I'm really not a fan of the color scheme for the suit. With the use of pink and white, it looks way too similar to Pigella.

I get that they were trying to make Mylene look like a mouse, but I'm just really not a fan of the white gloves and boots. They stick out compared to Pigella, where they actually blended in with the color scheme. Then there's the actual suit itself. Why give the suit a hood if you're going to make it yet another skintight jumpsuit? At least with Carapace, they had more armor to help him resemble a turtle, but there's no excuse here. And finally, the hair. How can you take a girl with a very vibrant hairstyle, make it pink when transforming, cover it up, and then call it a day? There are just so many questionable design choices here. I don't think it's as laughably bad as Shadowmoth's suit, but it's really one of the weakest hero suits to be introduced recently.

I'd give my thoughts on how to improve it, but thankfully one of my anons gave their own ideas for a redesign.

Thank you to whoever sent this in. You certainly get character design better than some of the animators on this show, and that's saying a lot given they're supposedly better than the ones at Pixar.

Ladybug gives Polymouse the ice skate to use as a makeshift flail with her weapon, a jump rope, while she fights the Maledikator clones. Polymouse uses her power, Multitude, which turns her into a swarm of miniature clones to take on the horde of Malediktator clones and free the brainwashed civilians. Ladybug meets up with Cat Noir, but big surprise, Cat Noir gets brainwashed by a Malediktator clone. Sure, Polymouse frees him from the control, but I'm surprised Ladybug isn't more used to this happening by now.

Ladybug then gathers several temp heroes to help them out. She gives Kagami the Dragon Miraculous to become Ryuko, Nino the Turtle to become Carapace, Max the Horse to become Pegasus, and she gives back the Bee Miraculous to the super amazing Zoe so she can once again become the world's greatest superhero, Vesperia. There’s a brief joke where Cat Noir rushes to join the team pose, which could be seen as foreshadowing for future events, and if it is, good job, writers.

Pegasus uses his Voyage to teleport Vesperia above Mega Leech, where she uses her Venom on the Sentimonster, while Ryuko uses her Wind Dragon to gather all the scattered Akumas and Amoks freed by Polymouse for Carapace to trap in his Shelter. Ladybug purifies all the Akumas and Amoks, gives Andre a Magical Charm, tells him to rethink the Oxygen Project, and the heroes leave where Ladybug takes back all their Miraculous.

Back at the park, Andre decides to plant more trees in what's obviously not a desperate attempt to save his reputation. He may say he's doing the right thing, but I doubt investors will be happy that the project's being aborted just like that. We get one more hilarious moment where Marinette stutters around Adrien, who soon goes home and gets sent to his room by his father (because we just needed an Angstdrien Depreste scene this episode for some reason), who fidgets with his ring and stares ominously as the episode ends. And in case you live under a rock, this reignited a certain fan theory I'll be talking about in another post.

Overall, I thought this was a pretty decent episode. The environmentalism subplot was pretty standard for episodes like this, with how the antagonist is a rich asshole who doesn't see how he's harming the environment, and gets his mind changed by a hopeful youth. I'm glad Andre isn't Captain Planet villain levels of evil here, though I am glad the episode acknowledges that there's no single solution to stopping pollution, and that there needs to be more unity if we need to help the planet's situation.

While it had a bumpy first act, things really started to get interesting as soon as the action started. Questionable design aside, I thought Polymouse (who didn't even name herself in the episode) had a good first outing with the use of her powers coupled with the use of the Lucky Charm. The first act with Mylene really showcased her character and her courage in the face of adversity well. Part of me kind of wishes we could have seen her interact with Ivan while she was transformed, but then again, he was still brainwashed I think.

The other heroes honestly felt shoehorned in during the climax. I get that they helped gather all the Akumas and Amoks, but there was really no buildup to them appearing like in other episodes with multiple heroes.

The one major problem I have is how the episode tries to blame Marinette for not being as kind as Mylene because she didn't know about the protest, even though, as I have stated multiple times, SHE ROUTINELY SAVES PARIS EVERY EPISODE. I think that counts as saving the planet.

This episode had some flaws, but it was still pretty enjoyable, and it was one of the better episodes this season so far.