#like he was 12-14 when he didn't have to feel guilty for his mom's death anymore

[falling-star-cygnus]

"Granny? Mama's hair was a light chestnut color... this is black-"

I AM NOT OK, OH MY GOSH! I NEED TO STOP REWATCHING SHIT WITH MY NEW BIG KID DEVOLOPED FRONTAL LOBE-

there's something about Ed reverting to calling his mother 'mama' while so clearly being in deeply relieved anguish that just genuinely makes me scream. WHILE HE'S WITH PINAKO TOO, the lady who literally stepped up to take care of him despite being under no obligation to!

it's like- even after everything that he's done, everything that's happened to Ed to get him where he is now, he's still his mama's little boy. -> he never stopped being her child, he just had to be strong for Alphonse too

[highwaytothedangerzone502]

India Lima Yankee - Chapter 32

Pairing: Rooster x Female OC

Word Count: 2209

Warnings: Mention of death

Summary: Juliette Kazansky discovers Maverick is back in town for a special training detachment, but she's more than a little blindsided when Rooster arrives too. Having not spoken to him for almost ten years after their less than amicable break-up, Juliette can only imagine how the next few weeks are going to play out when she remains head over heels in love with him while he wants nothing to do with Juliette other than to forget her.

Or so she thinks.

Notes: Chapters in italics are flashbacks.

Chapter Songs: Call It What You Want It's Nice to Have a Friend

Chapters: Chp 1 Chp 2 Chp 3 Chp 4 Chp 5 Chp 6 Chp 7 Chp 8 Chp 9 Chp 10 Chp 11 Chp 12 Chp 13 Chp 14 Chp 15 Chp 16 Chp 17 Chp 18 Chp 19 Chp 20 Chp 21 Chp 22 Chp 23 Chp 24 Chp 25 Chp 26 Chp 27 Chp 28 Chp 29 Chp 30 Chp 31 Chp 32

Juliette's heart spiked at those dreaded words because rarely did anything good come from them. "As long as you're not going to yell at me again," she answered curtly.

"No. I only want to talk," Joey insisted.

"Fine. Let's use Dad's office." Juliette moved down the hallway before her brother could argue. It was the only place on the first floor they could have some privacy since it was almost entirely an open floor plan; everything upstairs was bedrooms, too, and she didn't necessarily want to have whatever this conversation might be in a personal room. Iceman's office offered a private, neutral ground for the both of them.

Juliette took a seat in her dad's chair while Joey took a seat in the one she'd occupied earlier when speaking with Maverick. Crossing her arms and legs, she said, "What do you want to talk about?"

"How are you doing?" His question took her aback. It's not how she expected this conversation to go. If anything, Juliette thought he'd be demanding to know the truth about her commandeering the F-18. She must've hesitated a little too long to answer because her brother added, "I saw your face earlier when we were all at the fire pit. It was the same expression you'd get whenever Dad would be about to deploy. You have a tendency to clean when you're stressing, too."

Juliette chuckled humorlessly. "Rooster said the same thing."

"Because he knows you as well as I do." Joey glanced down at his clasped hands, fiddling with his Annapolis ring. "I want to apologize."

"For what you said the other day? Or for threatening Rooster and his career?"

"Both."

"You're not doing this because Mom is making you, right?"

"No. Mom did give me a piece of her mind on the situation, but no. I'm doing this because I want to. I shouldn't have threatened Rooster's career if he hurt you, I shouldn't have tried guilt-tripping you into staying the other day, and I shouldn't have said what I did about your work. I was hurting, and I was feeling guilty myself, and while that's no excuse, it's what I acted on, and I took it out on you. You called me out on it, but I could still see that I hurt you, and for that, I'm sorry. After tonight, I can see why you call them your pilots. You love them, and from what I can tell, they love you in return."

Juliette smiled softly. "Thank you, Joey. I'm sorry for bringing up Cobra. I know you never got over her death, and it was a low blow bringing her up."

Joey shrugged. "You were right, though. Ever since she died, I haven't handled death well, and I hated seeing Dad sick. I lost out on time with him because of my inability to handle it, and I'll never forgive myself for it, so I'm trying to make up for it now."

"You'll always have Dad with you, you know. He's part of you. From what I've seen and heard, you fly just like him. It's why you got the callsign Frostbite."

"I feel like I got that more because I'm good at killing relationships, like how frostbite is good at killing fingers and toes."

"That's a horrible analogy," Juliette remarked, shaking her head. "And you're not good at killing relationships. You're good at keeping people at arm's length, but you do it to protect yourself, particularly since Cobra."

"Yeah, but I shouldn't. I want to try and stop doing that, especially with you, Mom, and Jack. Which brings me back to my original question: how are you doing?"

It was Juliette's turn to drop her gaze. She hoped to avoid answering the question, but Joey knew her too well, as did all of her family. While fiddling with her locket, she stared at the picture of her, Iceman, Maverick, and Bradley resting on her dad's desk. "I was doing well until tonight. I've had training and Rooster to distract me from Dad's death, so even though I've been grieving him, I haven't been crying as much. Work's also been distracting me from the inevitable with the pilots, and then, at the fire pit, I don't know what happened, but it struck me that they're all leaving in two days, and my time with them is done... It's the waiting with the unknown that's the worst part because once they ship out, I'm going to be stuck here, wondering who's going up with Maverick, when they're coming home, and if any of them will be in caskets when they do," Juliette said, her voice barely above a whisper. "You asked me what I can do to help these pilots, and to be honest, I don't know. I just know that Dad assigned me to help Maverick and that Maverick wants to keep me around, so I must be doing something helpful. Regardless though, Dad wanted me to do this, and I feel like if I don't do everything I can to help Maverick and the pilots come back home alive, I'll be letting Dad down. I know he's dead and that he's not coming back, but I can't let Dad down, not even in death."

"You could never let Dad down, Jules," Joey said firmly, reaching over and grabbing her hand. "You were more like him than any of us."

Juliette smiled weakly. "Maybe... but I guess I'm doing it for my sanity too by helping Mav out."

"What do you mean?"

"When they ship out, I need to know I did everything I could to make sure they have the skill set and tactical knowledge to go on that mission so in the event one or more of them return home in a casket, I won't feel like I sent them to their death when they weren't ready."

"It won't be because of you, Jules. You're not making the final decision."

"No, but Mav listens to my input, though, and if he takes that into consideration when choosing his pilots, then yes, I will have played a part in who went up."

"Do you know who he's going to send up yet?"

"Not for his three and four, but I know he's sending Rooster."

"Did he tell you that?"

"No, he doesn't have to. I don't think he knows it himself, but he's going to. Now that Mav is going up, I think he's a little more prepared to send Rooster because if he's in danger, Mav can protect him. It's a better alternative than having Bradley hate him for the rest of his life."

"Does Rooster really hate him still?"

"He loves Mav, but yeah, he still hates him for what he did. I've been trying to figure out a way to make them reconcile, but so far, the only idea I've had is to lock them in a room together."

Joey snorted. "I think we both know that would go horribly."

"Yeah... I'm just- I'm scared to lose them, Joe. I just got Rooster back, and Maverick has been like a second dad to me. I mean, God, the man had Dad call in a favor just so he could leave his deployment two weeks early to check on me after Rooster and I broke up because he knew how distraught I was without even speaking to me about it until he arrived on my doorstep."

"I was never as close to Mav as you were, but I know he sees you as the daughter he never had. He would do anything for you. If he could have you at his side until the mission's end, I know he'd do whatever he could to make that happen."

"You have no idea how badly I wish I could, but I won't use one of Dad's favors to help myself. I'm sure the Navy is sick of me right about now, especially after that F-18 stunt I help Mav pull. Besides, those favors are for Maverick. No one else."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, but thank you." Juliette stood up, sniffling. "We should head back to the kitchen. The others are probably wondering what's taking us so long."

Joey held out his arms, and Juliette stepped into them without a word. He'd always given bear hugs like their dad, and it was the one trait of Joey's that always reminded her of Iceman.

"I love you, Joe," she mumbled into his shirt. He returned the sentiment, and the two broke apart. The siblings returned to the kitchen. Rooster slipped his arm around his girlfriend's waist and asked quietly, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just having a long overdue talk with Joey." Juliette looped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss, savoring the sensation because who knew how long she'd have to wait until they could do this again.

"Fucking finally," Jack said when the couple broke apart, sounding like he'd been waiting a hundred years. Juliette flipped him off while Joey cuffed his younger brother upside the head, causing Jack to defend, "Hey, you didn't have to see the endless, longing heart-eyes they kept sending each other at dinner last week! I thought they were going to jump each other at any-"

"I will whack you with a frying pan if you finish that sentence," Juliette warned, pointing a warning finger at him.

"Am I wrong?"

"Is that what made you hit him with the frying pan the first time?" Rooster inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it was," Jack confirmed, ducking when Joey tried to hit him again. "I just used a lot cruder language."

"I'm this close to hitting you with a frying pan again," Juliette said, holding up her fingers.

Jack squinted at them. "They're touching."

"Exactly. The only reason I haven't hit you is that all the frying pans are currently in the dishwasher."

"Children, that's enough," Sarah intervened, eyeing his kids with amusement twinkling in her eyes. "Jack, Joey, could you help me with the dishes? Rooster, Juliette, as much as I would love to have you stay all night, you two should get home. It's getting late, and you have training tomorrow."

"Are you sure you don't want us to help?" Rooster offered, motioning at the vast amount of dishes and cleaning still left. "You cooked the meal. The least we can do is-"

"No, no, no, we've got it, and I know Juliette already picked up some of it. You already have a job to do, and that's to come home safely. Understood?" A flicker of worry rose in the Kazansky matriarch's eyes, and when she met her daughter's gaze, Juliette realized her mom was as worried about Rooster coming home as she was. 

"Yes, ma'am," Rooster said kindly, giving her a hug. "If I don't see you before I leave-"

"Oh, I'm coming to see you ship out. It's what Ice would've done if he were here," she told him, voice quivering. "Well, actually, he would've gone with you. He wanted to go on that carrier so badly-"

Sarah trailed off, silent tears rolling down her face as she mourned her husband, the wishes he never got to fulfill, the dreams he never got to see. Juliette, her brothers, and Rooster huddled around her, forming a group hug to comfort the grieving widow. Her tears disappeared almost as fast as they came, but her sadness remained.

"Will you be okay tonight?" Juliette asked, reluctant to leave her mom, even though she knew her brothers would be here. Guilt filled her bones and blood at the idea of her being able to spend time with the man she loved when her mom couldn't.

"Yes, yes, I'll be okay. You two get going. Mother's orders."

"And we can't defy those," Rooster joked lightly, kissing her on the cheek. "Thank you for tonight, Mrs. Kazansky."

"Please, sweetie, it will always be Sarah to you. I'll see you soon."

With that said, Juliette bid her mother and brothers goodbye, along with Rooster, and then left. Seeing her mom break down had brought Juliette's own fears back, not to mention the grief she'd pushed down.

"Come here," Rooster said when they arrived at the passenger side of his Bronco. Juliette stepped into his open arms, closing her eyes and melting into his embrace.

"How'd you know I needed this?" she inquired softly. 

Bradley kissed the top of her head. "Because I know you. And I saw the crinkle forming."

"I don't get a crinkle!" Juliette protested, tilting her head up to look at him.

"Yes, you do. Right here." He placed a kiss between her brows, and Juliette felt her face relax. Rooster smiled. "Now, it's gone."

"It's hard to have a crinkle when you're around."

"So you admit you have a crinkle!"

"Shut up!" Juliette snapped, her laughter taking the sharpness out of the statement. Rooster pecked her playfully on the lips before opening the car door for her. She slid into the passenger seat and thought: Don't be distracted by the what-ifs and miss out on the moments with Rooster. You can worry when the time comes.

If only that time wasn't approaching so rapidly...

***

Tags: @lgg5989 @shanimallina87 @polikszena @summ3rlotus @souslesyeuxde @gleasonmalfoy @icemansgirl1999 @supernaturaldawning @thedarkinmansfield @lyannaforpresident @lapilark @getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth @simpofthecentury @shadeops21 @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @double-j @picklejuicesposts @bradshawsandbridgetons @majdoline @jakexfmc @catsandgeekyandnerd @maddyosblog

[niawritess]

The Lovestruck~Chapter 14

(8 December)

10:12 am

"Y/n! Wake up! It's 10 already!"

You groaned in your sleep but then your lips twitching upward as you heard your mom's voice after more than a week which you missed so badly.

Changing your position to lay on your back, your eyes squinting as the sunlight hit your face. At first you panicked as you thought about your college but then relaxed as you remembered taking a leave for today.

Sitting up with your closed eyes, you let out a yawn with your palm automatically covering your mouth. You stretched your arms up and dropped on your back again with a sigh. Yesterday's scene left a impact on your mind as you couldn't get it out of your head, not to mention the sensation you felt which you have never felt before.

Your thoughts were interuppted when you got a notification on your mobile making you groan and shifted to your side before taking your phone from the nightstand.

It was your bestfriend saying that she would be here in an hour to meet your parents and there was another text which was from Rose saying that something came up so she'd be going to her town which means no Café today.

Smiling, you got off the bed and skipped to the washroom for your morning routine.

Whereas Baekhyun also got the same message from Rose and he sighed as he wouldn't get to see you at the café since you skipped today and that information he got from Ria a while ago.

It was like that day when you didn't came on the café and where he felt your absence. The feeling, the confusion was eating him as he wasn't able to come up to a conclusion of those feelings which was frustrating him as well.

As he told the boys about the no Café today casually and the boys came up with a plan of going to bowling. Baekhyun couldn't refuse since their graduation was this year and it's been long since they have been out then, when will they have time to do this so he agreed.

Not before, they asked him to ask you to tag along with him and hearing this Baekhyun gave them a look but they just made an excuse to see you as you were also becoming their friend.

***

You were heading downstairs after washing up and suddenly the door bell rang indicating your bestfriend was here already.

Your dad opened the door and Ria smiled greeting him before letting out a squeal as she ran up to your mom and they did some weird handshake before hugging eachother.

You rolled your eyes playfully but a smile was playing on your lips and you went to them who were totally ignoring you making you glare at them as they were doing it on purpose.

"OMG! JAE!" Ria exclaimed with her eyes popping out when she saw him coming out of his room and you also flinched not used to his presence.

Ria was your high school friend so, being comfortable with Jae was an understatement and he always treated her like his little sister just like you. Well, you always bicker with your brothers and they tease you but you know how protective they are over you.

Jae went out with his friends as he was meeting them after a long time and will go back in a week for his training Job. You sat on the couch comfortably with your mom and bestfriend talking about their favorite topic shopping which was not so favorite to you.

In that time, you got a notification on your phone, checking it to see it was from Baekhyun and unconsciously your heart beat quicken seeing his name but you immediately shook it off before opening the text.

Baekhyun : Hey, Are you alright? You didn't come today.

You : Yeah, I'm okay. Just skipped today.

Baekhyun: Okay. So I wanted to ask something. We boys decided to go bowling today so would you like to join us?

You read the message with a baffled expression before looking at Ria who was sitting alone as your mom went into the kitchen.

You: Are you sure? I mean won't I be intruding?

Baekhyun: Not at all. Even my friends want you to come.

You were contemplating wether to go or not since yesterday your had been occupied with those things wondering if it would get awkward but you also didn't wanted to lose a friend like Baekhyun just because of those awkwardness and decided to let it aside.

You : Is it okay, if my Ria tag along?

Baekhyun : Of course! So it's decided. I'll pick you up by 5. No excuses! See you later:)

You let out a sigh leaning against the couch getting the attention of your bestfriend as she eyed you suspiciously.

"We are going for bowling in a while." You told her casually and she frowned. "Are we?"

You nodded before your mom came back and sat on her spot with your brother who also was back from his school as he threw his school bag in your lap while plopping beside you.

You clicked your tongue before placing his bag on the couch while showing him a glare.

"Mum, we are going bowling today."

She just nodded nonchalantly not saying anything further but Daniel's eyes perked up hearing that as he eyed you surprised.

"Mom, Aren't you going to ask her anything? With whom she's going with?" He shoved her with his questions and you three looked at him weirdly.

You mom shrugged. "As far as I know her, she wouldn't go without Ria and it's actually a good thing that she's going out since we are the ones who always force her to go out."

"I'm really happy she's progressing with time and whom she's going with, I don't mind because it won't be her boyfriend since we aren't that lucky to have that privilege." She added with a fake hurt expression.

Your brother and bestfriend joined her in her laughter while you stared at her with a disbelief look. Sometimes you think your mom could've been a good actress if not for her catering business.

"Mum, you know me too much."

"That's why I'm your mom." She winked and you shook your head before smiling.

***

You and Ria got ready and Ria already had her clothes in your wardrobe since she stays here often. You got a notification and checked it to see it was from Baekhyun telling that he's already here.

You walked towards your window and saw his car before he got out and as he looked at your window direction you locked eyes with him.

Your eyes widened and you immediately backed off as if you got caught doing something wrong before going downstairs while mentally hitting yourself for doing that unaware of how Baekhyun smiled at this act of yours.

"Mum! I'm leaving!"

"Have fun and be safe!"

"Don't have too much fun!"

Your dad yelled and you rolled you eyes before walking out with Ria who was laughing.

You both approached him who was leaning against his car but instantly straightened himself when he saw you and flashed a smile to you which you returned.

He opened the door for you and you sat in the front seat and Ria settled herself in the back seat not before sending a smug look to you where you gave her a look.

You three arrived at the destination and followed Baekhyun who led you to where boys were already present. You both greeted them smilingly as you have gotten comfortable with them now.

Then your eyes caught another figure which belonged to none other than Lauren who was sitting with her boyfriend while her eyes were on Baekhyun which held something you couldn't tell and with you feeling weird inside which you also couldn't tell.

Ria and you both looked at eachother before going towards an empty seat and sat there as you started chatting with boys not before Baekhyun looking for his place to sit.

That's when Lauren shifted a little to give him space while flashing a sweet smile at him where again you felt that sensation and you instantly shrugged it off as you looked away. However, instead of going there Baekhyun walked towards your side and sat beside you with your shoulders almost touching making your breath hitched.

Chanyeol got up and stood in front of you all with an idea of having a competition with him and you have somewhat noticed that he's a competitive guy.

"So, who's gonna be in my team? Y/n?" He looked at you expectantly and you looked at him with a guilty smile. "I'm sorry but I'm not good at bowling but Ria is really good at it."

Ria almost spit out her water and you surpassed your giggle before she shot a glare at you but you just smiled innocently at her.

"Are you really not good?" You looked at Baekhyun who gave you a question look and you nodded. "I've been trying to do it but I don't think I'm suitable for bowling."

"Like her driving."

Ria popped her head forward as she told Baekhyun who just chuckled while you nudged her back with a death glare.

The game started between Chanyeol's team and Yixing's team and the team who loses has to treat tteokbokki (spicy rice cake).

They played for half an hour where both teams were tied and with the seriousness it was also funny to watch how they kept bickering like five-year old kids. Honestly, you were having fun with them as they kept the atmosphere joyful.

You excused yourself to the washroom and Ria was coming with you but stopped as her it was her turn so you went alone. Finishing your business, you made your way to them but a hard shoulder bumped into yours making you stumble back.

"I'm sorry- Y/n?"

You looked at the familiar voice person before your eyes widened. "Jae?!"

"Oppa."

"Shut up." You made a dirty face on the name which always makes you feel cringe and he raised his eyebrows. "What are you doing here?"

"I can ask you the same." You placed your hands on your waist standing confident.

"I asked first." He imitated you and you rolled you eyes.

"I'm here with my friends." You told him and earned a snicker from him making you frown as he gave you an amused look. "You have friends?"

You rolled your eyes. "I'll see you at home."

You tried to walk past him but he blocked you with a serious expression plastered on his face. "Are you here with your boyfriend?"

"What?! No." You made a weird face before sighing. "Jae, stop acting like a brother."

"New flash! I am your brother!" He gave a toothy grin before leaning in. "Where is he?"

"Gosh, you're so annoying."

"And you're my cute little potato." He pinched your both cheeks and you cried holding his wrist to stop but when a pair of hands pulled his hands away.

You both looked towards the direction to see Baekhyun with clenched jaw and glaring at Jae before he stood infront of you like a shield.

"What do you think you are doing?" His tone was calm but you could sense an anger behind it which made you panick if some fight breaks out.

"Uh, Baekhyun, he is my brother." You spoke peeking from his shoulder not realizing that you took his name casually and Baekhyun's ear perked up.

He looked back at you with a confused face then to Jae who had a smug grin then back to you. "Brother?"

You nodded slowly and wanted to laugh at Baekhyun's confused face which looked so cute and resembled a lost puppy.

The atmosphere turned awkward and Baekhyun instantly stood beside you and Jae held out his hand.

"I'm Jaehyun, Y/n's big brother."

Baekhyun hesitantly shook his head and introduced him before apologizing but Jae waved it off as he liked how Baekhyun came to your rescue.

"Jae!"

You three looked at the voice to see a guy calling Jaehyun and giving a nod, Jaehyun turned to you.

"It was nice meeting you, Baekhyun." He smiled genuinely at him which Baekhyun returned awkwardly.

"I'll see you at home." He gave a cheeky grin to you going to the cinema area not before mouthing nice catch where you shoot a glare at him.

Shaking your head you looked at Baekhyun who was lost and hesitantly tapped his shoulder where he immediately snapped out.

"I'm sorry about that." You smiled sheepishly and he chuckled.

"Don't be. I misunderstood so it's okay." You both started walking. "I guess I didn't really made a good impression on your brother."

You shook your head vigorously. "Not really, Jae seems to like you actually."

He lightly laughed shaking his head. "No way, seriously?"

You smiled nodding. "Hm, I know him."

"When did your family came back?"

"Yesterday, that's why I skipped today."

He nodded before you two joined your friends and the game was over with Chanyeol's team winning in the end which means the losing team has to treat something.

As everyone was eating and talking, you spotted Ria's phone on the seat beside you as she excused herself to the washroom.

Not long before, she came back and sat beside you before a frown crept on her face as she started searching for something.

"What's wrong, Ria? Did you lost something?" Jongin asked her drinking his juice.

"Yes, I can't find my phone." She started looking for it everywhere. "Y/n, have you seen my phone?"

You kept mum since she knows you can't lie or she would just catch you in a blink, so you avoided her eyes while munching and she didn't noticed since her attention was on her phone.

Feeling a little thirsty, you were about to take a juice bottle but a hand came forward to you with a juice bottle while it's cap opened and you looked at Baekhyun who was talking to Chanyeol and you looked at him surprised as without you saying, he knew it.

You smiled taking it before looking at your bestfriend with lost face. You actually felt bad for doing it but she has always pranked you and not to mention she always tease you in front of Baekhyun so you decided to prank her.

As a smile while was plastered on your face, you felt a stare on you causing you to lock eyes with Baekhyun who was eyeing you suspiciously and sensed the reason behind Ria's lost face.

You brought your index finger to your lips indicating him to keep mum and he chuckled shaking his head while you smiled sheepishly.

This scene was witnessed by Kyungsoo who was eyeing those two with a fondly smile and wondering when his idiot friend will realize his feelings.

***

The car pulled over to your house and you got out of the back seat with Ria before thanking Baekhyun and Chanyeol for inviting you two.

Seeing Ria's gloomy face, you couldn't help but feel guilty now. Taking her phone out from your purse, you held it out to her and she looked at you shook.

"You had it all along? Y/n!" She exclaimed chasing you inside with you shouting sorry and then giggling.

"Crazy." Baekhyun mumbled chuckling at you as you went inside before he turned back to his best friend giving him a teasing smile.

"What?"

Chanyeol just shook his head at his stupid bestfriend before Baekhyun drove off.

_______________

@wooya1224 @buttercupbbh @jddcfc-blog

[randomminer]

Some More Hogwarts Mystery Asks: MC & Jacob

1) How did you come up with you MC’s name?

-Heard the first name in the background of a video game some years ago. I thought it sounded cool and remembered it when I had to name my MC.

-Then I tried to decide what muggle last name Svari would be drawn to. Sally Ride kept popping into my head, probably because it sounded so similar to Svari. After doing some research, I found out that Sally Ride did actually go into space the year before our MC went to Hogwarts. So naturally, Svari would have recently heard of her and maybe even started to idolize her. To the point she chose Ride as her last name.

-Svari's middle name was the first name of her paternal grandmother, Isobel McGonagall.

2) How did you come up with your MC and Jacob’s backstory (family, where they’re from, their relationship with each other, etc.)?

-I'd been playing around with Potter head cannon for as long as I've read the books. But when JK Rowling started giving very detailed backgrounds of her characters, I really liked McGonagall's story. Her mother leaving the wizarding world for love, her father loving his wife and accepting her background even though he was some sort of priest, excelling in Hogwarts, sadly breaking a muggle man's heart so she could stay in the wizarding world, getting a career in law enforcement and then teaching, eventually marrying but keeping her maiden name, loosing her husband, and just being an icon.

Anyway, I knew I wanted my MC to be connected to McGonagall somehow. And while McGonagall's story was very detailed, there wasn't much on her two brothers' lives other than they both had at least one child and the youngest of the two was killed by Death Eaters. I adjusted Svari's story to fit into all that.

Jacob was just a surprise 😂. I didn't know we'd be having an older sibling thrown into this. I had already thought up Svari's twin cousins, Mary and Garrett, and didn't want to get rid of them, so Malcolm McGonagall got an unexpected third child.

3) How did you come up with your version of Jacob?

-I've had to build Jacob's story off of what I'm learning about him in the game. He would be older than Svari, they were close, and she was obviously hurt when he disappeared. For the most part, I've just built Jacob based on the kind of cousin Svari would love to be around.

4) How does your MC cope with everything they’ve endured with Jacob, R, and the Vaults?

-Svari has had to deal with a lot of stuff in her short life. Her father is dead, her mother and cousin have disappeared, she's been sent away from her original family (the peri flock), she is constantly bullied for her non-human features, she has to be mindful of herself so she doesn't accidentally transform, and to top it all off, the freaking vaults!

It's enough stress to make anyone develop anxiety and want to live in solitude. But I think Svari takes her weaknesses and uses them for strength.

For example, a person may be to anxious to make a face to face order from a McDonald's cashier for themselves. But if a friend of theirs admitted they were also too scared to order, you can bet your ass that person will suddenly have the courage to step up and order McDonald's for themselves AND their friend.

Something about not wanting your loved ones to experience the same bad feelings you do makes people brave enough to do what needs to be done.

In Svari's case, she meets and befriends other magical outcasts like her. People who are half human, who have been turned, who are seen as lowly because of their differences. Wanting to spare them from the same feelings of inadequatacy, hopelessness, and shame gives Svari the will to get up and endure another day.

In turn, her human friends at Hogwarts, who see Svari for who she is and love her anyway, help her to see humanity isn't a heartless race. But rather is made up of individuals, some for good, some for I'll, and some who don't fit a category.

6) How does your Jacob cope with Duncan’s death?

-I haven't really developed Jacob's character much. I worry about making it match with the future plans of the game. But I imagine Jacob changed after Duncan's death. Probably started to withdraw from others, including Svari. He may have had a guilty outburst at some of them just before disappearing. I've tried to think of the possible outcomes JamCity could have in mind for Jacob. If he is in hiding or being held prisoner, I imagine he feels on some level he deserves the misery. Or if he is in a state of suspended animation, he probably doesn't feel anything. I don't know.

7) Describe your MC in 5 words or less &/or using 5 or less gifs

8) Does your MC have any sentimental items?

-Svari has three items she would hate to loose:

- the woven leather bracelet her mother gave her before she left for Hogsmead

- the fang necklace her Uncle made for fun and gave to her before his death

- her leather jacket, the first item she bought for herself

9) Describe your Jacob in 5 words or less &/or 5 or less gifs

10) Does your Jacob have any sentimental items?

-Jacob's mom, Teresa McGonagall, is a muggle born originally from a ranch in Texas, USA. Every Christmas and birthday, Garrett, Mary, and Jacob could always expect Texas themed gifts from Pop Pop and Nana (by muggle mail). Nana would go all out and send belt buckles, pecan candy, crosses made out of horse shoes, the Texas state flag printed on coffee mugs, spicy and BBQ flavored everything. But Pop Pop preferred to make the grandkids gifts, usually a little somethingthing made out of carved wood or knotted rope. The year after the twins would start Hogwarts, Pop Pop passed away from a sudden heart attack. While everyone was devastated, Jacob had been closest to his grandfather. That Christmas, Nana sent her usual gifts, but for Jacob, she also sent his grandfather's old bolo tie. Jacob never wore it himself, but it always had a place of honor hanging on the living room wall under Pop Pop's smiling portrait (the unmoving muggle kind). From the day he got it until the day he disappeared, Jacob would always give the bolo a quick touch as he was heading out the door.

11) What is your MC’s favourite store to shop at?

-Svari isn't one for retail therapy, but she loves window shopping in old book stores and antique shops. I think she may have also enjoyed visits to Honeydukes, Zonkos, and Weasleys with her friends.

12) What is your Jacob’s favourite store to shop at?

-I think of Jacob as interested in the secrets of the magical world. So he probably would have liked book stores or connections like Jae and Dung.

13) What is your MC’s favourite thing from Honeydukes?

-Svari likes the prank and sour candies

14) What is your Jacob’s favourite thing from Honeydukes?

-Jacob loves Chocolate Frogs and has quite the card collection.

15) Which Marauder is your MC most like?

-Svari would probably be most like James post Hogwarts. She looks out for the weak, is brave, smart, willing to give her life for others, and keeps her emotions in check. Something Sirius wouldn't do.

16) Which Marauder is your Jacob most like?

-Jacob is most like Remus, but not as sickly or submissive. He is very intelligent, has seen some shit, keeps to himself, but is kind.

17) Something your MC and Jacob like to tease each other about and use to embarrass each other?

-Svari and Jacob each have one parent from outside of the UK. Teresa McGonagall is from Texas and Roxanna is from the Middle East. The cousins both some times accidentally slip into that parent's accent. When they catch each other doing so, it causes roars of laughter between them.

18) A headcanon about your MC?

- loves muggle sci-fi tv (very much a Trekie)

- doesn't like wearing dresses or the color white (makes her afraid to move because she's worried she'll get it dirty)

- can brew potions in Acceptable to Outstanding grade levels, but can't cook to save her life

19) A headcanon about your Jacob?

- his patronus is an armadillo

- can play guitar, banjo, piano, and harmonica

- allergic to bee stings

20) A song for your MC and Jacob?

- probably something by Journey

[otakween]

I'm Standing on a Million Lives - Volume 3

Lol, why is Hakozaki on the cover of this volume? She was barely in it! In fact, I feel like now that they're backstories are out of the way, the girls haven't had much to do. In fact, I basically forgot Yuka existed by the end of this volume! Let's hope this improves...

Ch. 10

-I really liked the "we're just some random strangers on a bus" analogy. I find the group dynamic interesting because they're not really friends or a harem situation (yet). They're kind of just forced to rely on one another.

-Very grim dark chapter with the beheadings and lighting people on fire. Kinda messed up to see our heroes doing this stuff. Really didn't like how they treated the killing of the lead baddie, that was just unpleasant and overly mean spirited. It's hard to be on the "hero's" side when they're torturing people...also, that animal abuse was uncalled for.

-The characters acknowledge the fact that they still don't know how "real" this world is. If it were me, I wouldn't be able to throw my morals out just because I thought a world was virtual. if it feels real, then I'm going to have real qualms about murder and such

Ch. 11

-The rule where "revival is paused and extremely low body temperatures" seems a liiiiittle too convenient

-Did we need to see a detailed butt hole of a worm? Did we?

-I really enjoyed near-death Yuka's hallucinations of the Majiha characters (seems to be a Pretty Cure parody). I can really relate to a magical girl show sparking your passion for anime. I'd like to think the Tokyo Mew Mew characters would root for me if I was on the brink of death lol.

-So we get the big reveal that this world is a parallel world, but the main group are "virtual" (maybe). Not shocking, but way more interesting than if it were just virtual. I'm glad they took the time to explain how parallel worlds work. It's interesting to think of the parallel worlds that branched of from the big bang like this one apparently did.

-It seems really dumb to me that Yusuke only NOW feels sick and guilty about killing someone. I still think if it feels real, that should be enough to stop you from doing stuff like that, but oh well. Guess he's Mr. Logical.

Ch. 12

-New guy looks like Accelerator (but lamer lol)

-Yusuke was so annoying in this chapter. Incel weirdo levels were off the charts. I know that they're going for "anti-hero," but he's just so unlikeable to me...

-A seaman reference as part of a character's design??? Wha?

-So the Game Master gets a loli form, because everyone must be romanceable in harem world lol. I like her missing teeth, that's cute.

-They're all like "you stopped a murder!" but...didn't that bad guy just get curb stomped? He didn't stop shit lol (also, I'm pretty sure heads don't explode like that, but okay).

Ch. 13

-This series feels very "I'm 14 and this is deep" at times, but hey, that is the target audience, so I think that's fair.

-Yusuke immediately hates Keita because he...can't stand having male competition I guess? However, he then realizes he's being a privileged douche when he realizes how hard Keita's life has been. I feel like he keeps having these revelations and then going back to being a dick, so I've lost trust in him at this point.

-In their new quest time jumps forward 15 years and we see a mature version of Kahvel. I liked her a lot better as a mellowed out mom and her speech about "methods vs. goals," although awkwardly translated, was interesting.

-Pretty convenient that Kahvel had an unnamed, offscreen husband that died in the war so that she can go back to loving Yusuke. Also, this is one of those "why do you intensely love this bland dude?" moments. (I guess he saved her or whatever)

-Super awkward when Kahvel was like "sorry I grew old before you" and Yusuke was like "that's okay" with a really uncomfortable expression on his face. It seemed like he was NOT into Kahvel based on his reaction which made the scene really tonally confusing.

Ch. 14

-Suddenly we get an idol duo! I like how it's the JRPG fantasy version of that with them being priestesses. Plus, over-enthusiastic idol fans are always funny.

-Although the other fantasy cultures felt more European this one is hella Japanese which is a little more refreshing. I don't know what dialect they used in the Japanese, but the localization has them talking like country bumpkins

-I appreciate the fact that we get a mini training arc here where they get a crash course on how to fight orcs. Also nice to see some "NPCs" that are more experienced than they are in fighting a specific kind of monster.

-Lots of random educational nuggets in this series. The comparison between volcanic soil and regular soil was neat. Yusuke's "how to make fertilizer" tutorial was cool too.

-Totally awkwardly placed boob-grabbin' ecchi outta nowhere! This is the first really ecchi thing to happen so I was like "wtf??" Guess the mangaka had to get that our of their system lol

-I really like the orc queen's design :-0!

[vivavinni]

March 17th, 2018 KC - Mental Me.

Today I don't have anything inspirational to say. I am not in love. I am not politically charged (though I should be.) I'm not even sure I can successfully organize what's been going through my mind, but I need to give it a try.

I saw and shared this post on Facebook today:

This post is so closely relatable. I was the kid who survived multiple suicide attempts; I vacationed in multiple hospitals. I am now the adult who feels ill equipped, unprepared and lost.

My dad died when he was 26 years old, I was 6. Growing up, for me, was much different than most of my friends. My mother was a single parent my entire life. We were always moving, paycheck to paycheck. She did everything she could to keep a roof over my head and keep me alive. We are lucky enough to have a supportive foundation. Our family is a good size, very loving and strong. (This is something I never let go of.)

During years 6-10 I dealt with a good amount of anger and sadness. A great deal of my young childhood is a blur, however, I know for certain I was difficult. I remember I needed certain things to go certain ways to feel mostly comfortable in my skin. (Example- my socks had to be folded over perfectly and fit inside my shoes just right, before I left for school. If they were crooked or slightly uneven I would have a meltdown.) I was and always will be chubby. Even then, I had a lot of small and large insecurities that worried me constantly.

Anxiety, what a friend. He sits right next to Depression, she's always crying about something and obsessing over death.

After years spent fighting my mom about going to counseling meetings and follow ups for learning how to grieve after your best friend and father dies, we thought, "maybe the worst is over..." That was not the case.

A few years passed, maybe age 10-12, and I refused to continue counseling because I didn't understand why I had to do it when none, or most of my friends didn't. I didn't want to be so different, but I was and always will be (and that's okay now). Life seemed relatively normal, I had to adjust to having a new baby sister (which was difficult at first, life moves on). I established a few good friendships and mostly excelled in school. Family gatherings were always a highlight. I was fortunate enough to go on a few very cool vacations to new places which is great fun!

Now, at this point it seems light, happy and chipper, however, I grew up with an obsession with death and all things strange and dark. Keep this in mind. I was weird but hey, I made a couple weird friends so it wasn't too terrible. My favorite shows at this time were CSI: Las Vegas and Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. I also loved gory horror films, thrillers and weird anime. Neat!

Let's fast forward to year 2005, September (already a stressful and emotional month after 9/11/01, my uncle Marc lived only ten blocks away when that occurred but survived well and helped with clean up,) I was a month away from age 14, I believe, I was emotional. I was becoming; I was confused, awkward, angsty, dramatic and a little crazy. Found my way to cope with my friends Anxiety, Depression and new friend Hypermania by way of experimenting with different forms of self harm. You guessed it, I was a cutter and I dabbled in an assortment of substances.

I digress, it's September in 2005, my baby cousin is turning 3 years old, he's gonna have a party! I had the option of staying the night with family or staying with a friend, I chose my friends. The night before my baby cousins birthday party, my uncle Steve (baby cousins father and also my father figure), went to have a beer with someone he thought to be his good friend in need. He, tragically, was wrong. This man shot my uncle twice in the back, as well as committing other atrocious acts before attempting to flea the state.

This event spiked a long downward spiral which eventually led to an uphill battle and this very moment.

I was devastated. My whole family outraged, distraught, grieving, but together. Mental me, lost sight of 'together'. I was lost. I felt alone, hopeless, a nervous wreck, and guilty for choosing to stay with friends instead of family. This turned into depression and suicidal ideation, attempt. I was done, loss of purpose, "what's the point?" Extinction.

My first full hospitalization came after months of self-destruction. It was a very unpleasant experience for me. I was admitted to Research Hospital in their youth psychiatric care unit. They cut my favorite shoelaces off my favorite pair of shoes, striped me down to nothing, heavily medicated me, and told me not to worry. Most of my experience is veiled and distorted by medicine haze. However, I distinctly remember the nurse who was in charge of pm phone calls to home tell me, "I've seen a lot of kids like you, you'll be back again," or something to that effect. After my interaction with her all I remember was turning autopilot on to get myself out of that hospital as quickly and smoothly as possible. I said I felt better, "The meds must be working, I'm working on my steps to release, I'm ready to go home." I lied. I lied my face off. I wasn't ready, the meds weren't right; fake it til you make it out, right?

I stayed in out-patient for a little while with different doctors, different medicines. Faking it to make it. I eventually stopped going and stopped medication. I went through counseling on and off. And continued to self-harm and experiment with different substances. School, to me, was pointless. I stopped showing up, I skipped, got into trouble and eventually made the decision to drop out. For me, school was useless anxiety on top of my generalized anxiety, depression and hypermanic episodes. I was trouble, I was troubled. (Mom, I am so sorry for putting you through so much on top of everything we went through together.)

My mom and I had always had a rocky relationship. It was difficult to relate and be open with her. I'm not entirely sure why it took me so long to figure out she was always on my side and wanted what was best for me. I have some ideas why, but at this point in time they aren't pertinent because now I do have a very strong bond and great deal of respect for her. She loves me unconditionally, as I do her. Through ups and downs and hospital visits we became best friends. I am so grateful for it.

Since the loss of my uncle, I began the journey of my diagnosis and treatment but, not before finding out that my father died of a genetic heart condition called A.R.V.D. My grandma was diagnosed with it as well and has been treated and monitored. I decide, with my mom, that testing for this heart condition was important. In and out of hospitals I went! I was put under multiple stress tests in different variations (one of them I was put under anesthesia for.) Eventually, a temporary heart monitor was placed in my chest for further testing and then I lost insurance.

Here I am! Mental me, years later, without insurance and a dead heart monitor in my chest that should probably be removed soon.

Years have passed. I was hospitalized again after several years of self-harm, destruction, medicine and indulgence. Somehow, I met a few good friends and partners along the way that stayed by my side and helped me after this much brighter stint in the KU Med psychiatric ward.

My KU experience was much more helpful. I took it seriously and learned a great deal about myself, my issues, coping techniques; I learned and accepted that sometimes, hospital visits are necessary and beneficial to mental health and well-being. I knew after that visit that when I am at the point of severe or suicidal ideation there is a safe place to regroup, learn and get better.

Friends, it has taken years and years on this journey to get to this exact moment- Where I am the adult who may be a bit behind because I never planned to make it this far. Here I am! Mental me!

I have been off medications and out of hospitals for nearly four years. I've been through therapy and could always use more of it. It can be helpful. Reach out! Seek the help. Sometimes it will be easier than others to take that step, I know, but keep reaching. Find health coping that works for you. We are not alone even in our most isolated darkness.

When I started writing this I said I didn't have anything inspirational to say because this is all just a piece of my story. I think it's time for me to start sharing it. This is not finished because my story isn't over. And it's true, I never thought I would make it this far, but here I am, MENTAL ME! Let's keep going.

The darkness is temporary, the struggle is constant and the fight is forever. Please, keep fighting, help me fight.

With all my love,

-V

#stayherewithme #stayherewithus #suicideawareness #believeinstayinggold #artsaves #evenifitkillsme #keepreaching #seekhelp #TWLOHA #love #life #selfcare #selflove #beyou #getweird