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ultimatetornshipper · 4 years ago

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To bee or not to bee - a Jasonette fic

@moonlitceleste I almost let this die, I honestly really wanted it dead but alas it was clearly meant to bee

(WARNING: contains puns, angst, crack and fluff. You have been warned)

If you don’t want to read my sarcastic/funny/fangirl commentary, skip the brackets

I have another bee movie au, i didn't plan it ("I don't claim to be proud. But my head won't be hung in shame. I didn't plan it. But the light turned red, and I ran it. And I'm still standing. It's not what I wanted, but now that it's right here. I understand it. A story written by my own hand" as quoted from Waitress), it just happened and i just couldn't resist. I'm not sorry

So what if instead of dying Joker turned Jason into a bee. Because Harley convinced him and told him that people were talking shit about him because he's named the Joker and they don't think he's funny. It surprisingly works. (Obviously Harley was the one who made the plan and did the magic I mean really what do u expect of Joker?)

Ok so now Jason’s a bee right? And he’s like 15 because .~:°*plot*°:~.

They look for him and Jason’s like flying around like, “Guys! Guys I’m right here!” Poor kid. (I mean I would make it funny but like angst)

Obviously they don’t understand him because he’s a fucking bee and Joker cackles madly and Harley laughs too but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes and it's kinda that laugh u do when ur supes overwhelmed and sound maniacal but like soft (I’m a simp for Harley being portrayed as the complex and beautiful character she id leave me be)

Jason is very sad. And also quite pissed

Not knowing what else to do he follows Batman home, he listens to them trying to find him, watches Dick freak out and Alfred wipe a tear the rest of the family doesn’t see.

Jason tries to approach Alfred, hoping he somehow recognizes what happened

He doesn’t, Alfred closes him in a glass and paper and takes him outside.

He sneaks back into the manor and sleeps in one of the flowers (it's a red tulip because aesthetic) next to his bed. He cries himself to sleep. (Can bees cry? Is this possible? Is this like a thing??? I don't need sleep i need answers)

The thing is even tho he's now a bee, he still has the durability of a human, so even stepping on him won’t crush him and he still has a human lifespan

Because Harley isn’t a monster and what Puddin didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. (Simping for Harley Quinn strike 2)

After a while at the manor and following them he decides he can’t stand it anymore. Alfred has thrown him out three times and Dick freaks out each time he sees him as he’s a tad allergic (read: he would die if stung)

Which is how Jason found out that getting hit with a newspaper wouldn’t kill him.

He leaves.

He’s a bee and it’s not like he knows about a way to reverse it.

But there was someone who might.

He goes to Arkham.

Luckily, Harley was still there. (YAY we get to see mah gurl)

He flies into her cell and she just watches him, then she seems to click. She gives him a small smile, “Hi birdie,” (she puns, honestly would make for a better clown of Gotham and I saw an idea for that once where she steals Joker’s title once and I’ve been yearning for it ever since)

She holds out a finger and he lands on it, she laughs but tears come to her eyes,” Hey at least you’re not dead. That was his original plan you know? To kill you with a crowbar. I convinced him this would be a cruller fate. I guess maybe it is, but at least this way... Ugh how the hell did I get here,” (Harley angst, honestly it’s all just self service at this point)

He simply stared at her as she cried, and he felt his heart clench. From here she looked so sad... not crazy, just broken.

She took a deep breath and looked at him seriously, “Look kid, there’s a way to get you back to normal, you just need to find someone, they’re called the Guardian of the Miraculous. They can help, I don’t know who or where they are, just follow your instincts. And come say hi when you get back, yeah? I could do with the... healthier company. And remember, I bee-lieve in you,” (Gasp what a shock, you mean to tell me Miraculous magic is gonna be involved in this Maribat au. Well I never what a shock. Also puns. Oh and she’s so nice to him. We love Harley in this house)

He sat there and studied her for a while more, there was more to her than it seemed. Than what he’d assumed.

But for now, he had his own problems to deal with.

She gave him a small wave as he left. (Adorable)

He left and started considering his options, as a bee, it would probably be safest to stay inside, away from birds and things that would view him as a snack.

Staying in Arkham seemed like his best option, as bad an option as it was.

Most of the prisoners wouldn’t have a second thought about trying to crush him.

A strong scent of flowers and plants suddenly came to his attention.

Of course! Poison Ivy. (Round 2 of me simping for beautiful, complex, badass women. Too bad Catwoman ain’t here.)

He followed the smell to her cell and saw her staring out of her small window. He was still taking a chance, but she loved plants and flowers and bees were important to those, weren’t they?

He flew to the window bars and sat on one. The moment she spotted him she smiled widely, in a soft way he hadn’t seen on her before. (Ahhhhh my darling plant redhead. I love writing the Sirens as soft badasses. Also has anyone noticed how rare brunettes are in superhero worlds? Like both in Marvel and DC but like irl brown is like a pretty damn common)

She held out her finger, “Hey there, little guy. A little far from home, aren’t we?”

She had no idea.

He landed on her fingertip and watched in awe as a flower and a few leaves formed on her hand. She let the flower grow itself around one of her window bars and held her finger next to one of the petals.

“There you go, it’s all I can manage with my power dampers. I haven’t had company in a while,” she said softly as he crawled into the flower. He made himself comfortable.

She laughed to herself and he saw her shaking her head, “Talking to a bee, well, I guess stranger things have happened,” (yeah ur crush is dating a green haired murderous psychopath and you get beat up by a billionaire in a batsuit on like a biweekly basis)

The flower was soft and warm and felt safer than he expected it to. He found that he could move between the petals but decided to curl up in the middle. (It's a pink rose this time because fuck yeah flowers)

He slept better than he had in days.

The next morning he took his leave, stopping only at the manor to say a mental goodbye.

Then he headed off.

Jason flew a lot the first few months, our boy was smart at least, travelling with a cruise ship on its way to Europe.

It was Spring in the Northern Hemisphere so he had until Autumn until it was in his best interest to head south to avoid the snow. He decided to head towards Africa when summer started coming to an end. (I have no reasoning for this, just that I want to)

His first spot would be the United Kingdom. Then he'd go through the rest of Europe following his instincts.

At least it was Spring.

Jason diligently searched through England, Scotland and Ireland but found nothing.

By the time he was done he realized it was time to start heading South. He’d decided to take another cruise to South-Africa, where it would be summer, he searched through the country until April. He would admit that he didn’t feel drawn to anything in any of their 9 provinces so his search wasn’t as diligent as in England. He didn’t feel anymore drawn to the neighbouring countries like Namibia or Botswana either.

(Once again no reasoning for why I picked these countries, I mean the French Hugonotes went there when they were fleeing from the French Catholics who wanted them dead so I guess I could make up some bullshit about Mari having an ancestor in common with someone there or maybe it was just the ship he could easiest get access I don’t know, you make something up)

Which was why he decided to go back to Europe as soon as April hit.

He hitched another ride on a cruise headed for France.

It’s been a year since he got turned into a damn bee.

He was sixteen now and while he’d seen some amazing things all through South-Africa (a place that proves that humans really do have a weirdly obvious way of naming things I mean the Amazon river and Chad Lake are just more examples really) as well as the United Kingdom, all he really wanted was to go back home, to be human again.

When he gets there he diligently makes his way through France, eventually arriving in Paris.

He lands on the tip top of the Eiffel Tower. As in the point of the antenna because why not.

During his year he realized that birds and other animals tended to avoid him, sensing his strangeness so that was at least one positive.

He stared out over the city. Well, the one good thing about this was definitely the views he’s been allowed to see.

That was until a massive explosion hit.

“What the fuck?” he said out loud, searching for the source. No one understood him, human or bee, but talking to himself reminded him of his humanity.

He found the source of the explosion but just as he started flying to its general direction, a blinding white light shone followed by a horde of ladybugs that were fixing everything that was wrong. (Imagine how scary this would lowkey be irl tho? Just a shit ton of Ladybugs descending on Paris my dude)

He decided that he needed a night’s sleep before he could even begin an attempt at deciphering what had just happened. He flew lower, finding a nice little balcony right above a bakery. And it had flowers. (I’ll give u five seconds to guess who this balcony belongs to)

He flew down, exploring.

He turned around when he heard a loud thump from behind him. What appeared to be a super heroine in red spandex with black spots had landed on the balcony.

She detransformed and started to talking to a floating bug- fairy thing. Strange. Though it wasn’t like he could judge, as an ex superhero sidekick who was thought to be dead but was actually a bee.

She disappeared down her trapdoor and he made himself comfortable in one of her flowers.

He slept soundly until somewhere during a night another thump woke him. He looked out of his sleeping spot to see a cat superhero stand on her balcony. He leaned down and knocked on her small trapdoor.

Ah, a teammate of hers, they were probably meeting about something, he thought as he heard her open up.

It didn’t take him long to realize that even though they were teammates, the cat, Chat Noir he later learned, was not aware of this fact.

Oh this was rich.

He couldn’t bee-lieve his eyes. (ok so Jason used self-referential puns but can you really blame him? It’s really just me and my pun problem so don’t blame the kid)

He was going on and on about his feelings for Ladybug, the girl’s hero form, that were clashing with his feelings for another girl he fenced with, while she listened, clearly fed up with it.

He also claimed that he thought that maybe they were one and the same. Which, to Jason, was hilarious as he was literally saying this to the actual Ladybug’s face.

Marinette- he learned from the Cat’s ongoing blabbering, he was a real blab-bee mouth, - was clearly tired, nodding half asleep, probably having heard it all before.

When he finally left Jason went to sleep again, incredibly amused and even more thankful that he was fluent in French. ( u think this is plot convenience? Just u wait mah dude iz about to get worse)

The next morning he decided to follow her to school. Which was how he learned of her huge crush on a boy named Adrien Agreste.

After learning the boy could fence thanks to Marinette’s obsession interest in him, he got suspicious.

Could it really bee? (not a typo)

After seeing the boy transform a month or two later for patrol he laughed like he hadn’t for over a year. It very much was. He'd spent the time staying on Marinette's balcony and decided to stay another week before moving on and continuing his search, after all, he couldn't stop now that he finally felt like he was getting close.

The next day she got home crying, claiming that Adrien had started dating someone else.

Kagami, she called the girl. Probably the fencer if he had to place a bet.

“I’m sorry, Marinette,” Tikki told the girl.

“That boy's an idiot,” he said, speaking his mind, another thing he’d gotten use to being allowed to do without consequence.

Marinette nearly jumped out of her skin, she looked around and he realized that she could hear him. He hadn’t really spoken too much before, at least not when she was around. He was usually content with watching her do whatever she was doing that day.

“Tikki, did you hear that?” she asked, Tikki nodded, her eyes landing on him.

“Oh,” the kwami said softly, flying over to him, “Oh, you poor thing, who did this to you?” (Tikki is the first ever mom friend and u can fight me on this)

He stared up at her, flying so that they were eye level.

Marinette gaped at them, heartbreak seemingly forgotten, “Tik- Tikki, are- who are you talking- are you talking to a – Tikki is that a bee?!” she finally spluttered out.

“No,” Tikki said, studying him, he felt his heart twist in hope and his stomach roll in surprise. Did she know?

“I mean yes, but no. He’s a boy whose been turned into a bee,” Tikki explained, turning back to Marinette.

“Oh,” Marinette said softly, turning to him. She held her hand out and after some hesitation he landed on her finger. She looked at him then back to Tikki.

How did they know? Would he really be that lucky? Was this real?

“Uhm, how?” she said, staring at him in disbelief. He tried shrugging but realized he couldn’t anymore- beecause of his- well if you haven’t caught on to the fact that he’s a bee by now you should really start from the beginning of this story.

“I don’t know, but Joker and Harley Quinn were involved,” he said.

Marinette stared at him in disbelief, blinking a few times. She sat in shock a few moments longer. (Our darling is an awkward lil bean, and while in media awkward is portrayed as cute, irl it isn’t, it’s just well… awkward. And we’re writing a serious and realistic fic about this sidekick of guy who wears a batsuit/billionaire's ward getting turned into a bee and falling in love with a magical girl fighting a butterfly man- none of this unrealistic nonsense)

Tikki flew over and sat on Marinette’s shoulder while her holder processed the information, the kwami stared at him sweetly, “What’s your name?”

He swallowed, he hadn’t said his name in ages, it stirred up something (emotion, it’s called emotion, Jason, you know? The thing Batman can’t process??) in him, “Jason Todd,”

Marinette seemed to finally snap out of her daze, “That sounds American. Are you American? Wait if Joker and Harley are involved then you’re probably from Gotham. Are you? Wait I’ve seen the name Jason Todd somewhere. Weren’t you some rich guy’s ward? It was all over the news last year, Alya wouldn’t stop talking about it for a month, she had a million theories. He was – you were announced dead two months after Robin was taken captive by Joker, everyone thought he was – you were killed. Joker made outrageous claims as they arrested him... saying that they’d never find Robin... that he’d all but disappeared in thin air... that he wouldn’t be the only one wearing stripes... I remember because he put a really weird emphasis on the words be and stripes and...,” her eyes widened and she gasped as she looked at him in what could only be described as pure shock. (Yes this happens, people can talk for this long and since I personally know headcannon that Marinette is ADHD this long ass paragraph is just another Tuesday bud)

He sat there, surprised that she figured it all out so quickly. (yeah bub it’s called plot convenience and it’s because of me, the writer, I don’t wanna focus on secret ID shenanigans, I got other plans for yall, also Mari is smart, don’t underestimate her)

“You’re Robin,” she breathed, “they turned you into a bee. Wait- How the hell did they turn you into a bee?!”

He chuckled, “Bee-lieve me I’ve been asking myself that question for more than a year,”

She bit her lip, seemingly contemplating his words and ignoring his pun, “Tikki do you know anything that could help? Do you think Miraculous magic-,”

He felt his heart stop, he flew up to her face, flying at eye level, “Wait, did you just say Miraculous? Harley said if I could find the Guardian of the miraculous, they could help me, do you know where they are? I’ve been looking for so long,” (‘°;~*.plot convenience.*~;°’)

Marinette blinked at him and Tikki's face dawned with realization.

“I’m the guardian of the miraculous,” Marinette said softly, “Tikki, that means I can help him, right?”

Tikki nodded and he had to dial down the hope in his heart because the look on her face told him there was a Kim Kardashian sized butt on the way.

“We can help him, but we’re gonna have to wait. (don’t look at me like that, do u want them to have time to bond or not?) You’re not trained enough to pull it off yet. If you were to do it now, all three of us would be out of commission for far too long, especially with Hawkmoth on the prowl,” Tikki said.

They must’ve been able to sense his sadness because they were staring at him with an incredible amount of pity. The amount was quite unsettling actually and he suddenly felt a primal like urge to pun. (An extract from my book: “My unhealthy coping mechanisms and how to use them,” specifically Chapter 8: “Humor hides the pain”)

Suddenly Tikki’s face lit up, the whiplash of her expression change throwing any notion of punning out the window.

“Well, there’s one thing we could do,” she said, excitedly, zipping buzzing around “If he wears a miraculous, he'll return back to human form while transformed,”

Marinette perked up at the idea, but confusion soon overtook her features, “But Tikki, most of the miraculous are bigger than he is,”

Tikki waved her away,” It’s fine it’ll work,”

“Ok,” Marinette said after a bit of thought. She stood and he followed while she started climbing down her skylight,” I’m thinking you can try each of them out for different patrols and then we’ll see which one matches you best. This could be fun, having some fun sized company while figuring out how to defeat Hawkmoth,”

He laughed, flying near her ear, “Fun sized, huh? I’ll have you know I’m considered tall in human form, unlike some of us,”

She laughed and rolled her still tear stained eyes, and so, the beginning of a bee-autiful friendship bloomed.

Marinette walked to her closet and Jason took in her room. It was very pink, but in a well-balanced way - it wasn’t completely overbearing. His eye caught on a few pictures of Adrien Agreste on her wall but figured now wouldn’t be a great time to bring it up. (Look he’s already more emotionally aware, #foreshadowing of character development)

She removed a big box from her closet. She opened it and it was filled with what appeared to be a bunch of scrap materials. At the bottom she removed a bigger bundle of black and red fabric and he flew closer.

She put it in her lap and Jason had to do a double take when he realized that her hands were glowing and what the actual fuck- it was a box now -fuck fuck fuck- why was it a box? How? What- Jason was pretty sure he did not sign up for this.

She put the box down in front of her and to his relief she opened her mouth to speak as she lifted the lid, so he’d understand everyth- and its jewellery.

The box contained jewellery. Animal themed jewellery by the looks of things.

He then realized that these were probably the other miraculous.

She looked over each artefact before handing him the yellow and black hairclip.

Out of all of them, she picked the bee miraculous.

“Hilarious,” he replied dryly, giving her a look, he realized too late she wouldn’t be able to register- on account of, well you know… (if u don’t know by now, you don’t get to find out anymore)

She gave him a grin and replied, “I certainly think it is,”

Her teasing expression turned into one of worry, “I mean we could switch it out if it makes you uncomfortable-,” (being a sassy people pleaser with no filters really do be like this tho)

He laughed, “Don’t worry, I’m only teasing. What do I do?”

Marinette opened her mouth to answer before obviously realizing that she didn’t have an answer. She turned to Tikki and the kwami had a fond smile on her face before turning to Jason. (Just Tikki casually mentor- moming Mari because Fu is useless)

“Just step on the miraculous, it’ll sense that you’re human,” the creature replied.

When he stepped onto the bee miraculous, its kwami appeared.

Pollen stared at him for a few seconds before she realized what was happening.

After an explanation about her power set and what exactly he could do in suit, he transformed.

He felt his human body appearing. He was taller and more built than he remembered being. His flying clearly had physical consequences then, not that he was complaining.

His suit included a pair of bee wings. His hair was longer than he remembered it being too.

He had a black leather jacket and combat boots. With it was a pair of practical black leggings and a yellow t-shirt with three thick black stripes. (The three stripes represent each one of his families, the Todds, the Waynes and The Dupain-Chengs, because I can) He also had a pair of black gloves. His boots had yellow laces. On his face was a black and yellow striped domino mask. The top sat on his hip. The bee miraculous sat on the middle of his chest in the form of a broach.

He all but sprinted to the mirror. He stared at his face, his blue eyes and his nose that never healed quite right after breaking it that one time. His black hair was messy and stuck up every which way, his cheekbones were as high as always, and he had a little bit of stubble and it was so familiar and so new all at once.

He touched his face, barely registering the tears flowing down his cheeks and laughed in relief. He was human again. This was real! He could- he was closer to normal than he ever thought he’d get to be.

He turned to Marinette who was staring up at him in shock. He picked her up and spun her around, laughing in joy. And after a moment she joined in. He put her down and put his hands on her shoulders, smiling widely, “Thank you. Thank you so much,”

She smiled up at him, a slightly sad look on her face, “I’m sorry, it’s not permanent,”

“Don’t be sorry. For the first time I have hope. It will be permanent eventually, and till then, I have you with me, right?” he squeezed her shoulder, still high on the feeling of hope and warmth and familiarity.

When he was overcome with the sudden urge to pull her into a hug, he didn’t resist.

He held her close, resting his chin on her head, “Damn, I missed this. Hugging, I mean. I haven’t... it’s been so long,” (not that he got all that many hugs from Bruce “emotionally constipated” Wayne)

She wrapped her arms around him, “I can imagine,”

They stood there a while before the time for patrol came along. She transformed and they made their way to the Eiffel tower, where they met Chat.

The cat themed hero rose his brow questioningly, “I thought we didn’t recruit new heroes unless it was an emergency?”

Ladybug smiled nonchalantly, “It’s Guardian business, he’s gonna be a permanent fixture in our team for at least a few months so we might as well get used to working as a team,”

Chat Noir eyed him wearily and he stepped forward, sticking his hand out, “Hi, I’m Blackback, nice to meet you,”

Chat Noir shook his hand and gave Ladybug a sceptical look, “An American? Really?”

“Please Chat, he's not American, it’s just the glamour hiding his actual accent,” she replied simply, shooting Jason a worried look.

He couldn’t give away his identity, but he was also technically a bee, he didn’t really have an identity to give away. So, her behaviour was strange. Unless she wanted to give him an identity somehow?

He couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of patrol.

When they got home Marinette revealed that she wanted to give him the fox miraculous. If they asked Trixx she would be able to design the costume in a way that allowed him to look like a normal civilian, without the mask.

Trixx's glamour was also stronger than the rest so his true identity as Jason Todd would be protected.

And she could help him fake an accent.

Since Marinette was a year younger than him he could just pick up where he left off school wise.

She convinced her parents that he was an exchange student in desperate need of a place to stay because the person he would’ve stayed with backed out last minute.

They agreed easily and Jason decided to not question it.

It was his third family. His second if you only counted non abusive ones. First if you wanted one with a healthy family dynamic.

They got him a fake birth certificate and name. He went with the alias Thomas Grayson. He thought it was kind of funny, and it paid homage to both Bruce and Dick. It gave him something from home to hold on to. (Jason isn’t really salty about not being avenged in this au, he didn’t die and Talia and the pit madness wasn’t there to egg on his anger. But maybe if I ever get back to this au we could do a thing with it… guess we’ll have to wait and see ;-) no promises tho)

He built himself another home with Marinette and her family. And before he knew it, he was happy again. He felt secure.

Through the weeks, he ingrained himself into Marinette's life. In a blink of an eye, they were best friends, and he couldn’t imagine life without her.

He loved living with her family as she trained to be strong enough to turn him back to normal.

He grew close to Marinette’s friends and was her shoulder to cry on about Adrien. He and Adrien got along pretty well, and he and Marc and Rose traded Literature jokes. Max would join in when it involved Shakespeare.

Then Lila happened. (She’s a staple in Maribat fiction. U can’t have Maribat without Lila. Or well u can but that’s usually a very specific au)

Her lies started out simple enough. Then she started manipulating everyone and he, Marinette, Chloe and Adrien were one scheme away from being ostracized. They sat in the back row.

They ignored her sneers and let her lie to her heart’s content. Then one day she said something that made both Marinette and Jason freeze.

“You know, I was childhood friends with Jason Todd (I know she usually gets the names wrong but like her knowing the name just makes this next bit better) You know, Bruce Wayne’s ward who died a while ago? It was just so sad. He grew up in a nice family but his parents both died in a car accident and Brucie took pity on him. He even let us keep in contact afterwards, since our parents were such good friends. We all miss them dearly of course. We were neighbours the year we lived in Gotham, you know? We'd play every day-,” she started fake crying, “Oh it just gets too much sometimes,”

But to Jason’s shock Alya didn’t move to console Lila, in fact, she was staring at the brunette in shock.

He turned his gaze to Marinette to see the girl wearing the biggest, coldest, most satisfied smirk. She rested her chin on her hands and grinned at Lila in a way that made shivers go down his spine.

He turned back, this ought to be good.

And it was.

Alya absolutely lost it.

She ripped Lila a new one and frankly? Jason was impressed. (Alya has a temper and she’s a fangirl, and we all know how we get when someone gets something wrong about one of our hyperfixations, even if it’s an old one so like yall can imagine how bad Lila had fucked up)

When an akuma flew in towards Lila, Alya grabbed it, staring the girl down with a fury he didn’t know she could possess, “Don’t you dare! Do you think I’m blind? I’ve seen how easily you get akumatized and this time I’m not letting it happen!”

Of course, Alya then got akumatized but hey it beat another version of Lila.

Everyone made up but they weren’t quite as close as before. Their group tended to consist mostly out of him, Marinette, Chloe, Adrien, Kagami and Luka.

Other than that incident and akuma attacks, life was pretty good.

In fact, it was great.

He and Marinette would spend nights on her balcony, laughing and slow dancing. They star gazed and went on patrols. He helped her when she got nightmares and she returned the favour. They went on long walks and spent the holidays together. They crammed for tests and he played model for her designs. They worked in the bakery and hung out with their friends both in and out of suit. They’d joke about his technical bee-ness and he and Chat drove her mad with puns. In retaliation she’d introduce him as her bee friend to people or only give him honey and bee themed things. (ok this sentence sounds weird but I mean like when she brings them sweets from the bakery to snack on while working and stuff.)

And one laugh, memory and fight at a time, he started to fall. (I just want good things for Jason, and really can you blame me?)

Through the months, he kept up to date on the news about Bruce Wayne and Marinette held his hand each time a new kid joined his brood. She reminded him that no child could be replaced and reassured him that of course Bruce would want him back when they figured everything out.

And if he didn’t, she’d kick his ass into space, and he’d stay with her family in Paris- a family she made sure he knew he was a part of.

He helped Sabine in the kitchen and was the only one who came closest to beating Marinette’s Ultimate Mega Strike 3 record. Tom taught him to shave and bake. He was integrated into their family and they treated him as part of the family.

But even if they were giving him everything they were, he missed Bruce. And Dick. And Alfred. And Barbara. And Gotham. He missed them all so much. He missed home.

So, 14 months later, when Marinette told him they had a meeting with the Justice League about the Hawkmoth situation, Jason felt his heart skip a beat.

“What?” he asked softly, his eyes brimming with tears (Marinette taught him how to emotion, you see. So Jason is emotionally stable-ish enough to cry without feeling embarrassed about it), “I get to see him again?”

Marinette nodded and hugged him from behind, “I’m planning on telling him what happened. Is there anything you can tell him to verify who you are?”

Memories from a million years ago entered his mind, “Yes,”

She took his hand and took a step back, “And I think I can fix you before we go, I’m strong enough. But I’d still like your help in the final battle, I mean I know you’re going home but...,”

He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiled, “Of course, Pixie. I’ll always be there for you when you need me,”

He pressed a kiss against her forehead, a movement so familiar it was practically a part of him. He pulled her close and cried into her hair.

“What if he doesn’t believe me?” he asked softly, after a while, resting his chin on top of her head.

“He will,” she replied, tightening her grip around his waist.

They both knew she had no guarantee of that. That she had no way of knowing for sure. Neither of them did. And it scared him more than he wanted to admit.

The next day they do the magic turning back thing. It freaks him out quite a bit but not as much as her revealing the miraculous freaked him out the first time, you get kinda used to the magic shenaniganary. They’re both passed out for an hour afterwards and when they wake up, he holds her, crying, because he was finally, finally back to normal and this was real and permanent, and it was over.

She cried with him and held him, and they then went out and he wore a shirt she made for him, and they got ice cream the next day. They celebrated some more and went to the park with the squad and they had a picnic.

It was better than he ever could've imagined.

While the sun was setting, they stood back on her balcony, where they first spoke all those months ago, slow dancing. He pulled away and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled at her as the orange light of the sunset shone on them. (So aesthetic)

“Thank you, Marinette, for everything,” he says as he rubs his thumb across her cheek. His hand holding her face. She puts her hand over his and closes her eyes, savouring the moment.

She opened her eyes again and smiled, “I’d do it again and more, if it meant I’d get to be with you,”

He started leaning down, “If I lost you, I’d fly all over the world just to find you again,”

She raised to her tip toes, faces millimetres from one another, blue bells meeting ice, “So it was all worth it in the end?”

He moves closer, eyes searching hers. “Definitely,” he breathes.

She closes the distance, and he picks her up and spins her around. They break apart and their laughter fills the air.

(now that’s enough fluff, allow me to drown you in angst)

The next day they stood on the Eiffel tower. She took his hand, “Let’s recap. I go in, we have our Hawkmoth meeting, then I ask if I can speak to Batman and Nightwing alone. Then I tell them I found you, then I give them – are you sure it’s necessary for me to give them your blood, hair and a cheek swab? Isn’t that overkill?” (Batman is serious about his no kill rule, but he’s also serious about his there’s no such thing as overkill rule)

He shook his head and she sighed, “Okay. Then I give him means to contact me and I come back. Now remember they might take a while to process and they won’t necessarily call immediately-,”

“What if they never call?” he asked, gripping her hand tightly.

She ran her finger softly through his hair, “Then you have us to help you get through it,”

He nodded, she kissed his cheek and stepped through the portal with Queen Bee, Chat Noir and Viperion. He and Ryuuko stayed behind as backup, he wielded the Fox miraculous these days, but kept the name Blackback, always wearing a black leather jacket no matter the transformation.

He and Ryuko discussed fighting styles, she was kindly trying to distract him, and if it had been anything else he needed distracting from, it would’ve worked.

So passed the slowest forty-five minutes of his life. Chat Noir and Queen Bee exit a portal and so the wait for Marinette and Luka began.

She and Bruce were talking now. Bruce would know he was alive. This was make or break for him. Luka was nearby to act as back up worst-case scenario.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, followed by someone taking and rubbing circles on his back. He looked down to see Ryuuko on his one side and saw Chat Noir on his other.

“We’ve got you,” Chloe said standing in front of him, hand on his unoccupied shoulder.

He swallowed and nodded. She squeezed his upper arm and met his gaze, “Breathe, you’re safe, honey,”

So, 30 more minutes pass. They sit down and somewhere along the line Chat goes and grabs a dozen croissants from the bakery.

In another situation he might’ve laughed. He’d baked this morning’s batch and now he got to eat some of it for free, of course, technically he could get others for free too but-

The portal opened behind them and Ladybug and Viperion stepped out. He noted that she didn’t have the bag of his DNA with her anymore.

She smiled softly at him, “Now we wait,”

And wait they did.

They waited two weeks.

And then the burner phone that's number they'd given Bruce rang.

Jason froze, Marinette jumped up and ran to get it.

He couldn't move as she walked over and put the phone on speaker, she grabbed his hand and he held onto her for dear life.

"We can both hear you now, Nightwing," she said.

There was a beat of silence on the other side of the line, "Can he- If you're- can I speak to him? In- um- private?"

Marinette looked at him, and he nodded. She took the phone off speaker and handed it to him.

He held it up to his ear and squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on the circles Marinette were drawing on his hand with her thumb.

"He- hey Dick," he said. He heard his brother's breathing hitch, followed by a few seconds of silence.

"When did Batman find you?"

"25th May 2017,"

"Who's your favourite author?"

"Mary Shelley tied with Jane Austin,” he replied.

Dick stayed silent for too long and before he could stop himself the words fell from his mouth, desperation clinging to each syllable,” My favourite- my favourite playwright is Shakespeare, and my favourite school subject is English. If I could pick any day job it would be being a writer. My favourite colour is blue. Alfred has a secret fear of dolphins. You have had a ridiculously huge crush on Barbara for years and she had no idea, and I found a picture you drew under your old room's bedside table of you two getting married. I folded the picture up and hid it in a small box of memories I kept in the farthest corner of my closet under clothes I never wore. I have a round scar on the lower left side of my back where Willis Todd burned me with a cigarette when I was 5 that you don’t know I know you know about. My first Christmas at the manor you found me in the rose garden cutting a few off to take to my mother's grave and I was terrified that you would yell at me but instead you drove me to the graveyard and that was the day I decided to give you a real chance. I despise carrots but I eat them when Alfred makes them because I don't want to be a burden. And I-," he choked on a sob- when had he started crying?

He took a shuddering breath, and swallowed some of his tears, trying to make sure the words got out right, "I've missed you guys for every single second that I've been gone,"

His stomach tied itself up in a million knots as the silence stretched on. He could hear Dick moving the phone.

"Can I speak to Ladybug again please?" A female voice he didn't recognize said.

He handed the phone to Marinette and pressed his hand over his mouth to try to contain the sobs. He felt like a knife was twisting his stomach. He couldn't even hear what Marinette was saying. (I’m going through something irl and as a result u guys get to read angst by the bucketloads and I regret nothing)

Dick didn't want to talk to him. He should've just answered the question, he shouldn't have given all the extra information. Now they were never going to believe that it's really him and he would never see them again. Maybe they knew it was him and they just didn't want him-

"Jason, breathe with me," he heard Marinette's voice. His eyes latched onto hers like a lifeline, he became aware of her hands holding his.

She took his face in her hands and rested her forehead against his, in a motion so familiar that it came as easy as breathing. Well as easy as it usually was to breathe, right now excluded.

After he calmed down, she explained to him what they discussed. They would go to Gotham and meet and discuss things from there.

They wanted to meet him, but they still didn’t completely believe that it was him. He knew this for a fact because they had organized for M’gann to be there to confirm what he was saying. (Yassss M'gann my darling girl, I adore out lil Martian)

Marinette had suggested that they meet in the Batcave in an hour. Everyone had agreed. He assumed she had a plan as to why she wanted to wait. And he trusted her, so he waited for her to explain.

“I want to take the team, as backup. If you’re not comfortable with it, I want to at least take Luka. I would suggest just letting one of us wield is miraculous, but his Second Chance Timer limit is an hour so it would be most beneficial,” she said, gesturing with the hand that wasn’t holding his.

He nodded, sitting up straighter, but not releasing his grip on her hand, “We can bring the team, it’s smart to have backup. Besides if things go haywire, we have Luka to stop us.”

“Then let’s go get our team, love,”

(oh, I should probably mention that only he and LB knows everyone’s Identities. Or well rather no one knows like officially. Like everyone lowkey knows everyone's and a few of them have officially revealed themselves to each other, but not everyone is officially revealed to everyone and Mari and Jason are the only ones who aren’t officially revealed to anyone else, it’s kinda like the vibes of knowing your best friend is queer but not saying anything because they haven’t officially come out yet but like you know because they ain’t nearly as subtle as they think. Like that aesthetic.)

Anyway, 50 minutes later, they’re all gathered on the Eiffel Tower. Jason saw Marinette give Luka a nod to reset his timer. Suddenly he was enveloped in a light with a scratch that wasn’t there a few seconds before on his cheek, his expression quite annoyed.

Marinette immediately furrowed her brows, “How many times?”

Viperion shook his head, “Don’t worry, only one so far, but they try to restrain us. We’re gonna have to try plan b this time,” Everyone nodded, they waited two minutes before the agreed upon time and Mari opened a portal, but instead of appearing out in the opened, they hid in the shadowy parts of the cave.

Jason used his illusion to hide them from any observant eyes and they spread out a bit. He and Mari stayed together, Cloe flew to get a higher perspective and hide Viperion on one of the cave’s many ledges while Chat just moved a few feet away to have a slightly different hiding spot. Kagami dropped into her wind form and was flying above them to eavesdrop, she’d go to Luka if she heard anything of importance so he could go restart again.

They’d be one step ahead of the Bats no matter what they pulled, after all, they had all the time in the world.

They watched them all get into position as time neared. Jason didn’t know all the kids but recognized them from the news.

Dick, Bruce and M’gann stood near the bat computer with Barbara – who was in a wheelchair but that was a realization to deal with later- and Alfred.

The minute they were supposed to appear Jason cast another illusion to make it appear as though they had arrived. As expected, weapons and restraints immediately swarmed on them, each kid going for a different miraculous member. Too bad the images turned into orange dust as soon as they touched them.

The tiny one in the Robin uniform was red in the face and immediately started throwing a tantrum, “Father! They’ve tricked us-,”

Before he could get another word out, Chloe mass-venomed the horde of kids that we’re sent to attack them. He counted Black bat, Red Robin, Batgirl, Signal and Robin. They were all frozen in the middle of the room and before the others near the computer could move, Kagami trapped them in a (rather large) ring of fire. They had enough space to move around comfortably but if they tried approaching the edge the flames would grow larger.

Batman growled and his eyes searched through the cave, but he wouldn’t see them, no matter how hard he searched.

Jason stared at them. Dick was also searching the cave, but he seemed to look more hopeful than angry. Alfred seemed his usual calm self and Barbara was glancing around the cave more subtly. He didn’t bother looking at the rest of the batkids because M’gann was staring right at him, staying right where she was despite her ability to fly.

“Hi, Jason,” she softly spoke into his mind, he felt emotion overwhelm him, she’d known him before everything, and she knew it was him and it was a lot.

He knew she wasn’t probing around his brain for information like he was sure Bruce had asked her to, she didn’t have to, she knew it was him.

“Can you please tell me why we’re surrounded by fire?” she asked.

“We have a time traveller,” he replied.

“Ah, not a fan of Bruce’s restrain and question method, then? Can’t say I blame you, though I do think you’ve proven your point,”

“You really think it’s a good idea to release all of them?” he asked sceptically.

“… Good point. Maybe leave the brood in the middle in whatever frozen state they’re in and just let us in the fire out. They really just think it’s too good to be true… Jason, I won’t let them hurt you,”

“Okay,” he agreed softly. He turned to Marinette and gave her a slight nod. She returned with one of her own.

They walked over to Kagami’s ring of fire and he held their illusion until they were right in front of it. He held on to it for a bit to make sure everyone else would be able to stay in position. Chloe would keep the cavalry venomized and Chat and Viperion would stick to the shadows, unless necessary.

Jason dropped the illusion and watched four heads snap to him. M'gann simply gave him a soft smile and a nod of encouragement.

Kagami moved herself to stand next to Marinette and turned back into her human form, glaring at them with a silent warning.

Their attention was elsewhere, though. For a long time they just stood there and stared at one another in silence. They studied every part of one another they could see.

His eyes caught on Barbara’s wheelchair and he felt ready to destroy whatever put her there. She met his eyes and he held her gaze. She must’ve seen something there because she gave a small smile as she allowed a few tears to escape her eyes.

“Miss Martian?” Batman broke the silence like a cheap dinner plate, shattering it in a matter of seconds.

“It’s him,” M’gann answered without a hint of hesitation.

It was Alfred that moved first. He took a few hesitant steps towards him and before Jason knew it the man was in front of him. Alfred reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, desperately studying him for a moment before pulling him into a hug only Alfred could give.

It took Jason a moment to respond but when he did he returned it wholeheartedly.

After a few minutes they pulled apart and it took him a moment to realize that they’d both started crying. When he looked up Dick was only a few feet away. The moment Alfred stepped away Dick pulled him close.

“I thought you were dead, kid. I thought I’d never see you again, I thought I lost even more family. You were too young, too innocent. Fuck Jason,” Dick whispered, tightening his grip, “I’m so glad you’re alive,”

Jason held on to his brother and that night they cried about terrible endings and broken beginnings. They cried about lost time and found family.

It wasn’t the end yet, Hawkmoth was still terrorizing Paris and he had no idea what Bruce thought yet. There were all his other kids, his brothers and sisters. There were his teammates and the incredible story of how he’d been turned into a bee of all things.

They had a lot of catching up to do.

But just for a moment, a strand of a singular moment, he had his brother in his arms again and he was back home. His first real home.

Things weren’t perfect, as things rarely are but it didn’t matter. Because part of the beauty of life is how it builds and breaks us in a cycle of love and loss.

And that night they laughed with a lightness and joy none of them had fully been able to hold onto in years.

I hope you guys enjoyed!

This is lowkey totally gonna be the au I go to when I don’t know what to write lol, maybe write a bit of what happens afterwards or a part of everything during the year he lived with Mari them or just y’know shenanigans

#maribat #jason todd #marinette dupain cheng #jasonette #bee movie au #aka the deep dark hole within the deep dark hole #I've been working on this for a month #probably more #my brain held me captive with this au it held me at gunpoint and stalked me and wouldn't leave me alone until i wrote it #me: casually attempting to write anything else #my brain: *slaps me with ideas for this* NO #and the worst part is there's more that's not written just bull my brain came up with #and i can't believe I put angsty life philosophy writing in a CRACK AU #THIS IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF A CRACK AU #WHY #I AM SO INVESTED AND I'M MAD ABOUT IT #i enjoyed writing this and that fact alone infuriates me #blame moonie for this #and u know what blame bugabunny too #(fuck i hope i got their name right)#if it hadn't been for the two of them discussing this again i would've forgotten all about it and i woulda been allowed to write #my kaldur x marinette fic in peace. or my lila time loop fic. OR LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE #anyway i tried to make his outfit red hood esque but like only the parts i liked about it #aka the leather jacket and the combat boots #I don't know how i feel about the fact that i wrote this but what's done is done #*sigh*#jason x marinette #why me #nightwing fluff #but also angst

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sofyasemyonovna · 3 years ago

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gurl wth. I was weedless for like....24 minutes when u were freaking out last nite and eveen I was like.....but U have weed...are u ok now Tell me ur thots bby x. What was it? :/ try to recognize it bby im sure u have ull be ok..I know exactly how u feel too like some days are way better than others but for some reason maybe we put ourselves in a lockmode of just thinking for too much (like you mightve done last nite)

We just have too much fucking energy <3

which is lovely and a good thing n we luv it

i am okkkkk but i am also messing everything up but i would mot survive it without weed probably. thank you 💞💕💘💘💗💗

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isabelisfun · 4 years ago

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drag race commentary

i love denali sm

i mean i think elliott should’ve been in the bottom too-

i started thinking elliott was cute but she’s getting on my nerves again

ok tamisha i don’t think u really gotta make something out of kandy saying symone is her biggest competition

kandy’s makeup is so bad today i can’t i’m so sorry 😭

i really don’t care ab this fight like i like tamisha but i don’t think either of them are really in the right anyways new day in the werk room

lala is so cute

now who tf came up with this mini challenge-

no but plz fire the intern that came up with this because this is so strange

yayy it’s ball week! i love the ball

ooh this is olivia’s week with all of her little bags

i feel like elliott is not being very nice but they’re not showing it to paint kandy in a bad light

i’m obsessed with rosé and i’m not ashamed to admit it

aww utica is so sweet the way she’s helping lala is adorable

I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT LALA IS SAYING BUT IM LIVING

no but i love mik. so much. an icon and she’s so nice to everyone

LALAS CONFESSIONALS ARE SO ENTERTAINING

AAH DORA THE EXPLORER WE LOVE HER

omg i love tamisha putting on a ball my favorite thing about this cast is seeing how much fun they have together

rupaul stfu ab the saboteur no one cares anymore

the way roop keeps having a heart attack over the littlest things it’s not that funny babe

mik is so cool

there hasn’t been enough denali and olivia this episode

who’s gonna tell joey what a lipstick lesbian is because i don’t think she understands the meaning

this coach promo i-

LMAO KANDY AND JOEY

it’s so important that they’re addressing blm

michelle with curly hair is my favorite thing

NICOLEEE I LOVE HER I NEVER WANT HER TO LEAVE THE PANEL

ok first category: denali’s look is cute she looks good, joey’s isn’t much but she looks good ig, lala’s look isn’t great but her beat looks great, elliott’s looks a little cheap but it’s pretty, tamisha’s is funny, symone’s is definitely something, i’m obsessed with olivias i love hot girls in boxing looks, mik’s is gooood, rosé looks stunning, tina’s is also good, kandy’s is fun she a magician up in here, utica’s is super good

category 2: denali looks super hot, joey’s is...boring, ok side note but these coach bags are so random like they don’t even match chile 😭, lala’s look itself is a little boring but she looks really good bald, elliott’s is fine whatever, i do love all these queens in suits i love a woman in a suit what can i say, tamisha's looks good, symone’s is cool, olivia looks like really good she looks hott, mik’s is STUNNING god she’s so beautiful, rosé’s is fun, tina is giving me very much bob the drag queen, kandy’s is like basic but also kinda hot, utica’s is good but i kinda expect more from her idk

category 3: denali looks good yet again, joey’s is not great but like she really does look good in a wig, LALA’S AAAAH THIS IS SENDING ME OH MY GOD IM GONNA CRY SHES SELLING IT THO AND I LOVE HER FOR IT, elliott’s look is fine i like the jacket but underneath is only mediocre, tamisha’s is cute she looks good, symone’s look itself isn’t great but she styled it well, olivia’s is super cute it’s very chromatica, mik’s is super cool and i’m obsessed with the mullet, rosé’s is also really good like it’s definitely a full vision, tina’s is uh very boring, kandy’s isn’t great but her hair is really cute, utica’s is really good and her makeup is also gorgeous

safe queens aren’t surprising at all

CARSON THEY WERE ALL BAG PUNS DID U MISS THAT ITS NOT POISON IVY I-

plz i love nicole sm

i disagree i think tamisha’s looks were good

i mean i agree with michelle ab tamisha’s beat being a little rough but i do not think she’s gonna like being told to ask the younger girls for advice

mik is so freaking talented

mik and rosé getting the PRAISE THEY DESERVE

woah utica’s fits her really well i didn’t even notice that but it’s really well constructed

i like joey cuz she is truly so stupid and i love that

lala’s look was iconic honestly idc

MIK WINNING AS SHE SHOULD YAYY WE LOVE TO SEE IT IM SO HAPPY

joey gurl- what are u doing

ok yah lala was like a lot better in that

but honestly that wasn’t a great lip sync song like-

i mean like joey was cute but i’m not crying or anything

#drag race #rpdr #rupaulsdrag race #rupaul’s drag race #drag queens #rpdr13 #rpdr s13 #rpdr season 13 #rupaul’s drag race season 13

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selfcareparker · 4 years ago

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LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)

oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...

AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.

THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.

about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...

GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao

OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭

oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩

LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.

OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol

+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭

not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so

hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧

these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3

Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz

Dear lovely anon,

ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)

okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)

OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time

Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)

SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon

also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo

i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)

i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)

so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴

Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK

(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)

okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow

it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again

girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh

awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)

When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—

Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl

what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3

and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too

And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK

Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)

#lovely anon #<333 #okay its so late now i dont wanna post it now in case i‘m too tired to notice losds of mistakes #but i also wanna post it now so.#*loads #i‘m posting it #and i absolutely do not mind if you answer like this!!!! but if you ever do feel like it‘s too much or you uust want to respond to one thing #in particular sooner then pls go ahead! <3

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girlbookwrm · 6 years ago

Text

Avengers: Age of Art Movie? ART?? MOVIE

DAY ONE

the title for this chapter of the Mighty Pre-Endgame Rewatch comes from the fact that Joss Whedon apparently said, of Age of Ultron:

“I was trying to make a little art movie. Which is actually, a pretty shitty thing to do to a studio that gives you a lot of money.”

which??? ok?????

so we went into this looking for Joss Whedon’s Art Movie

It’s worth noting before we get into this that I’m a fan of a lot of things Joss Whedon has done over the years, as much as I give him crap sometimes, and actually, I don’t know that I hate this movie as much as is common. I enjoyed it more than I remember enjoying it in the past? I go back and forth. I saw it in theaters and was like “actually I like this it’s pretty ok” and then I saw it again like “OH NO THIS IS AWFUL” and then again like “OH NO IT’S EVEN WORSE THAN I REMEMBER” and now I’m watching it again like “actually......” and I think it’s that the quality is very. uneven?

it is also worth noting that it took us TWO DAYS to watch this because we kept having to pause the movie in order to GO OFF which meant that this 2 hour 22 minute movie took us like SIX HOURS to watch. at first it was just me and The Roommate @goteamwin but on Day Two the Gal Pal @pegasuschick joined us.

anyway on with the rewatch (day one)

I STILL MISS THE OLD MARVEL LOGO! SO MUCH!

So the opening shot of this movie is from the twins’ POV and this was the first point that we paused the movie to fully Go Off because goddamn

can you imagine how much better this battle scene would be from the twins’ pov?

like: there’s all these explosions and shaky cam and a monster roaring and you’re like “oh god is it aliens? it must be aliens? and these soldiers dying everywhere and the city is getting destroyed etc etc

and then you realize it’s not aliens, it’s not HYDRA, it’s not some terrible overpowered terrorists

it’s the Avengers.

now THAT would be an art film

anyway back to the rewatch

Steve Rogers: IT IS 2015, I AM NINETY SEVEN YEARS OLD AND I AM STILL FIGHTING NAZIS I AM T I R E D

this is all looking real fake it has not aged well and it wasn’t that great to start with

“they’re the avengers” he said, sounding so confused and so so tired

aaaaaand here we paused the movie AGAIN to talk for twenty minutes, mostly about how if this whole “”’”art movie”’’’’’’’ had been shot from the Twins perspective, that would have been a better set up for Civil War and also super interesting

“We are here to help” why is the Iron Legion speaking Very American English in an eastern? european? city

Old Man Dad Clint

there’s two weirdly different movies happening here and they do not sit well together: like, a dark spooky serious one and a quippy Joss Whedon action movie

and don’t get me wrong, one of my favorite things about Joss Whedon is how he uses humor to really give his sad moments Extra Punch he’s a master of that

but this is just jarring

“please be a secret door please be a secret door” followed by the world’s tiniest and most adorable “~yay~” is the most endearing thing Tony has ever done in his life I would die for him

The Problem Is Not Brucetasha.

THE PROBLEM is that the BruceTasha dynamic doesn’t just come out of left field, it comes from a different sport entirely. it comes from another planet.

I think there’s potential for an interesting dynamic here but we get ZERO buildup to it

like in the last movie, Natasha is scared of the Hulk, like, literally shaking in shock TERRIFIED of the Hulk, but we see nothing of her deciding to run directly at the thing that scares her most

and we get ZERO explanation of like -- Natasha likes Bruce AND the Hulk, and Bruce AND the Hulk both like Natasha and that’s an interesting dynamic too, but we get NONE OF THAT

it’s very frustrating

also, where does Wanda’s horror movie aesthetic go? is it the same place her accent goes?

Tony’s dream sequence is... p badly shot, given that it’s his driving motivation for THE REST OF THE SERIES

Me: this is weirdly shot, right?

The Roommate, A Professional: Yes. *in a very fancy voice:* ~From a cinematic perspective~

Me: *starts cracking up*

The Roommate: But seriously, they’ve gone for a weirdly wide angle in this very emotional moment and it would make more sense to do tight shots here, but--

Me: *still cracking up*

The Roommate: really?

Me: ~from a cinematic perspective~ trolololol

AND LITERALLY HERE IS WHERE WE GET THE TITLE CARD. THAT’S HOW LONG, SPIRITUALLY, THIS OPENING IS.

Why was Bruce NOT expecting a Code Green? like? It’s HYDRA, of COURSE they’re gonna pull out all the stops??

We get like two minutes of Thor&Steve&Tony being bros, for the purpose of exposition here, and then the party sequence, and literally the rest of the movie is them all arguing with each other

and we stopped the movie again to talk for ten minutes about how much more Impactful AVENGERS: CIVIL WAR would be if we had even one (1) movie of the Avengers actually being a team

this is exactly why it took us two days to watch this movie

“Uh, actually, he's the boss. I just pay for everything, and design everything and make everyone look cooler.”

And again, we stopped the movie (seriously, it’s our own fault this took so long to watch) because LET’S UNPACK THIS

TONY PAYS FOR EVERYTHING?

TONY MAKES ALL THEIR SHIT?

TONY DOES THEIR DESIGN WORK?

AND LET US NOT FORGET THAT SHIELD RECENTLY FELL APART

WHICH MEANS THAT THIS IS STARK INDUSTRIES PRESENTS: the avengers

and that is A L A R M I N G

legally speaking

and also morally speaking

like goddamn.

no wonder ppl freak out about it? let’s jump on THAT for CW

(also, when we recapped this for the Gal Pal’s benefit on Day Two, she pointed out that Tony puts his name on everything and he probably got that from his daddy -- like in TFA, they’re doing this experiment for the Army but LITERALLY EVERY PIECE OF EQUIPMENT has the Stark Industries tag on it

Steve probably has the SI logo tattooed on his ass

he doesn’t know it

tony knows it

and wishes he didn’t)

all that aside, this is an A+ On Point Steve and i Strongly Disagree with anyone who says that Joss Whedon doesn’t get Steve Rogers.

Like, we very clearly get three distinct Steves in this movie -- we get Captain America, Captain Rogers, and Steve, and they’re all a little different but they’re also all perfectly executed and they’re all STEVE. eg:

the look that he gives Maria, like english please and then after her explanation he says “well they’re going to show up again.” - Captain Rogers.

“Right. What kind of monster would let a German scientist experiment on them to protect their country” - Steve

“They are.” - Captain America

let’s just. let’s just acknowledge that Thanos had a stone. in his possession. and he gave it away. to L O K I.

“I'm going to live forever”

ah geeze he actually is tho

*CLINT FEELS*

They talk about AI like it’s this Great Forbidden Thing, and the Roommate looks at me with the Tiredest Eyes

Everyone is working on artificial intelligence, she says.

e v e r y o n e

seriously “the man was not meant to meddle medley” is a very impressive tongue twister that Tony definitely practiced in the mirror that morning

but it’s also nonsense

the military, corporations, academia, everyone -- everyone is working on AI.

Ultron: What is this. What is this, please.

The Roommate: Me. Every morning.

Also, it’s worth noting that when Ultron goes through all the files on the Avengers and shit, he looks at Steve AT LEAST twice.

The Roommate: To be fair, so would I.

RIGHT RHODES IS THE REAL HERO OF THIS FILM

“Where are the ladies,” said Maria Hill, a Known Lesbian.

Sam and Steve’s whole everything is A+ Great, as usual

Rhodey’s face after everyone laughs at the “Boom, you looking for this” line is just

*kissy chef fingers*

and then this happens

the “flirting”

this is the weirdest “flirting” i have ever seen

it’s like the uncanny valley of cute flirting

it’s like they’re both actors pretending to be characters who are acting out something they’ve only ever seen in film

why is it like this

“What Are Your Intentions Towards My Daughter?” - Steve Rogers

no I kid

Captain America said that

Steve said “as maybe the world’s leading authority on “waiting too long”, don’t.”

and then suddenly they’re all teens hanging out in their dad’s basement

honestly this scene is the best scene in the movie, possibly the franchise, and it’s well worth all the bullshit we’ve put up with so far.

let’s also take a moment to pour one out for both Steve and Thor’s #looks in this scene because

goddamn

Steve and that blue button down

Thor and his hoe v-neck + pop collar maroon jacket

much fashion very hnnnngh

like it takes WORK to make these two look better with their shirts ON but you did it, AoU costume department. You Did It.

Also, James Spader as Ultron is just

i love it

gurl u r LEAKING

u CHOSE this body

u could have taken any iron legion body, you probably could’ve taken a SUIT if you wanted but instead you’re here in this janky ass leaking melty faced body with wires hanging every which way and the arms and legs on backwards

you are such a drama queen

truly his father’s son

so when Tony pulls out JARVIS’ broken corpse, how were they all supposed to know this was JARVIS? do they all get to meet Jarvis at some point? like at what point was Captain America introduced to the holograph representation of JARVIS’ “body” that he just IMMEDIATELY knows that this abstract yellow humpty dumpty is JARVIS

Team Dr. Cho Was Underutilized 2k15

Tony laughing because he’s about to be in so much trouble is very much a #mood

We can bust arms dealers all the live long day, but, that up there? That's...that's the end game.

I’m just going to present this bad phone picture of my notes because I feel like it does a better job summing up how I feel about this line:

remember when Wanda had an accent?

I’d say “good times” but I’m not sure they really were

seriously the Maximoffs have a great origin story this should’ve been theirs and Clint’s movie that would’ve been better

God Bless The AoU Costume Department

I have no idea what happened in this scene because of Steve’s smedium shirt

and that said he has to compete, visually, with Cobie Smulders in a sheath dress, and he does so with effortless grace

*distinguished golf clapping*

I actually really like the set up of Wakanda and Vibranium here it’s just nice and it gives all the background we need without really feeling like exposition and it reveals character dynamic between steve and tony it’s just nice is all

SALVAGE YARD AFRICAN COAST

Andy Serkis giving 112% AS USUAL

So Ultron steps into this scene like

and tbh it is a sexy leg good work Ultron

“I’M NOT MY DAD” -Ultron, definitely in Denial

Pietro talking to Tony in this scene like Tony was personally there when the bomb blew up his family and almost killed him and his sister

he wasn’t

u r drax in this scenario, and Tony is Ronan

he doesn’t remember ur family, dude

“pretending you could live without a war”

are we just going to ignore that Ultron gets inside Steve’s head right here right now and then Wanda exacerbates that 200%

and Steve just decides “yup that sounds right”

“i guess I’ll just be at war for the rest of my unnaturally long long life”

is anyone? going to talk about that? bring it up to him maybe?

no?

coooooool coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool

i just ~love~ (and by love i mean HATE) that natasha romanoff (A SPY) decided to upgrade her suit (HER BLACK STEALTH SUIT) with glowing (GLOWING!) stripes

much stealth very in character wow

(negative 200 points costume department what the hell)

pietro don’t hit senior citizens that’s rude

these dreams are actually totally fascinating and I really like them don’t @ me they’re great

“I Am Mighty.”

“only the breakable ones. You are made of marble”

“We can go home. Imagine it”

aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“Natasha, I could really use a lullaby”

natasha isn’t here right now please leave a message after the beepbeep

this is such a fucking nightmare, could be a callback to that opening fight scene IF IT SUCKED LESS

Tony. Your green son has a special need. maybe instead of trying to turn him back into Bruce, you should try to accommodate his needs. because he’s special.

Clint MacDonald Had A Farm

“These are... Smaller agents.”

“Sorry For Barging In.”

Captain America is here from the 40s and Ready To Apologize

Thor’s Extremely Dramatic Exit

Steve: looks at the house

(very softly in the background, Peggy’s “we can go home.”)

The Roommate: nuuuuuuuuuuuuuu steve don’t think thaaaaaaaat

I honestly love Old Dad Clint. *shrug* sorry not sorry

and now we’re here. at That Scene.

YOU KNOW WHICH ONE.

it makes no FUCKING sense for EITHER OF THEM to be having THIS CONVERSATION at THIS TIME. SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK.

Honestly, the only way this makes sense is if Bruce and Nat are both ace af and think the other one is allo af

just two hopeless asexual babies, adorably in love with each other

both of them awkwardly being like “BUT. YOU WANT THE SEX. RIGHT?”

and neither of them realizing that the other one also does not want the sex

that’s the only way the scene makes any kind of sense. If Natasha is putting on a performance and Bruce is too and neither of them realize that the other is putting on a performance

BUT EVEN THAT DOES NOT EXPLAIN WHY NATASHA FEELS THE NEED TO BRING UP HER UTERUS

THERE’S NO NEED FOR IT IN THIS CONVERSATION

AND THE WAY SHE BRINGS IT UP IS B I Z A R R E

and when i saw it in theaters, I was like “oh clearly this scene is missing some important dialogue that clarifies that Nat doesn’t mean she’s a monster for not being able to have kids.

BUT I WAS WRONG.

UGH ANYWAY MOVING ON.

god bless the AoU costume department for Steve in a Smedium shirt and Dad Jeans. A+ work i can almost forgive you for putting glowing neon on Nat’s stealth suit

but honestly the whole rest of this movie is worth it this one interaction:

Tony: Isn't that the mission? Isn't that the "why" we fight, so we can end the fight, so we get to go home?

Steve:

Captain America: *externally* something something end a war something something people die something something

Steve: *internally* I SWEAR TO FUCK IF ONE MORE PERSON TELLS ME THEY WANT TO GO HOME, IMMA MCFREAKING LOSE IT.

YOU WANT TO GO HOME?? Y O U WANT TO GO HOME??? B I T C H

oh hey Tony ur dad is here

“watched my friends die” ok but

a) are you and Steve friends?

b) if this has been eating at you, why wasn’t it shot better ~from a cinematic perspective~ and why don’t we get more of you being haunted by it and less of you talking about reinstating prima nocta

Actually this is a good time to talk for a hot second about Why We Don’t Hate AoU As Much As Some:

it’s very hard to judge AoU as a standalone film

because a lot of the things it does best are not standalone

it does a good job setting the stage for Civil War

it does a good job foreshadowing Infinity War and Endgame

and on that note, it’s actually hard to judge it without having seen Endgame

it does a BAD job setting up the Avengers as a cohesive unit that works well together

it does a BAD job building the BruceNat dynamic

it does a BAD job making us believe that the Avengers are actually friends and not just coworkers who tolerate each other and sometimes hang out and drunkenly try to pick up thor’s hammer

that isn’t friendship, actually. you know what friendship is? look at Steve and Sam talking about Important Things That Matter, look at Tony and Rhodes’ dynamic. those are friendships.

anyway

The Roommate says it feels like AoU skipped some steps. Like, Avengers (2012) brought us in at the ground floor of this building and then we got shoved into one of those really fast elevators and dumped directly into some game changer meeting happening on floor 44 and then it kicked us directly out the window to our deaths

i’m maybe elaborating slightly upon what she said

the point is that AoU is not a good movie because it’s not a good standalone movie

the character dynamics aren’t Bad or Wrong they’re just not properly built up to.

It feels like we missed a movie

maybe there’s an alternate universe where we got an Avengers 2 that made sense, and this is actually Avengers 3

maybe we just need to find Joss Whedon’s secret file of fanfiction and then everything that happened in this movie will make sense

ALL THAT SAID, THIS IS WHERE WE STOPPED THE MOVIE ON DAY ONE AND MY FINGERS ARE TIRED SO THIS IS WHERE I’M STOPPING TOO. AGE OF ART MOVIE DAY 2 WILL BE UP WHEN I FIND THE ENERGY TO DO THAT.

#the mighty pre endgame rewatch #age of ultron #avengers

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dabubblegottarant · 5 years ago

Text

so you didn't get fucked.

hopefully you aren't feeling too bad about it. I mean we know you and him were really looking forward to it. But hey let's take a step back and look at things.

1) he doesn't love you

- this guy freaking tries to manipulate the shit out of you. He doesn't take no as an answer. Do you not see how many times he's made you feel uncomfortable and made you feel guilty. You haven't done anything wrong and yet his words and actions have hurt you so much. My love, he tried to force you to take nudes and FaceTime and shit. Even though you did none of that (which I'm very proud of you for standing up for yourself and staying strong) it's still emotionally traumatizing and shows that he doesn't care.

-he uses you for sex. That's it. That's the bloody truth. He didn't pay attention to your wishes and freaking doesn't care about you or your feelings. He calls you selfish for not doing things and not wanting things but come onnnnn. The fuckkkk ???? He's being selfish. He doesn't give a shit about you.

-he talks about the future knowing that he doesnt want you in it. He isn't ready to make sacrifices and sees you as this temporary play thing. He wanted you to cheat on your future partner with him. Let that sink in.

-he never tried to contact you. I don't care how you make an excuse for this. He. Just. Doesn't. Care. His words are misleading. He's a liar. If he actually liked you or hoped to see if your ok or wondered about you he would have talked to you. But did he? LMFAO NAH BITCH. YOU'RE THE ONE GOING TO HIM. YOU'RE THE ONE COMFORTING HIM WHEN HE FEELS UPSET. YOU'RE THE ONE TRYING TO FIX THINGS. YOU'RE THE ONE MAKING UP FOR THINGS. LMFAO my girllllll, you're being used. You give too much and take nothing. You have a huge heart that's being wasted on someone like him. Mannnn fuck this dude

🕸️🕸️🕸️

2) pay attention to what other people say

-i want you to realize that whenever you do talk about him to anyone, you're skipping essential details. Details that show that you're being emotionally abused. I mean, it didn't go thaaaaat far but I'm glad we took this chance to realize this sooner. A month too late. But it had to be done.

- your friends said there was something fishy about him. He's moving too fast, his word choices are weird, he's being pushy , he has an ugly personality (and face ngl lol) he tries to victimize himself, he a littttle too old for you etc. The fact that they all realized he ain't shit without you telling the whole story omfg. Those are red flags.

- AND OMFG his relatives think he's weird. HIS OWN BROTHER DOESN'T LIKE HIM. HELLOOO????? major red flags

-you know, his ex girlfriend and him got into frequent fights. And she ended up cheating on him. Lol I kinda see why. He fucking deserves it.

🕸️🕸️🕸️

3) you deserve better

- look, I know it's been a rough year. There's been heavy wokeness coming around. You've been getting into a lot of fights, you lost a few friends, you lost your best friend, you're moving to a new place, you're learning to move on and be more social, a lot of anxiety and stress coming through. But hey. This is just another bump on the road. I know how ready you are to give someone your all and show them what you can do for them. I know how much you wish you could finally have that dreamy older guy, your childhood crush, and be in his arms one last time. But SNAP THE FUCK OUT. HE AINT WORTH IT. HE AIN'T SHIT. HE'S FUCKING PSYCHO.

-men like him don't respect women. They see them as objects and literally don't care about what they have to say.They don't see them as other people. It's disgusting.

-ok anyway girl. What I'm trying to get at is that you're going to find someone 1000000000 x better than this dude and y'all are gonna hang out , have a good time , go on dates, do cute shit, say meaningful things to each other , make out and bang and it's going to be great.

-gurl u amazing, you're strong, you're smart ,you're hot, you're kind , and everything good in the world and I appreciate what you do. I know you'll be alright and I know you'll do fine. I wish you good luck. And I love you 😘❤️

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byul-bit-arae · 6 years ago

Text

Boyfriend Taeyong

“When I fall in love, it will be forever. Or I’ll never fall in love. In a restless world like this is– Love is ended before it’s begun. And too many moonlight kisses, Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun."

*Silently slides this across the table and leaves* I'll just leave this here.

Ok but

Ok ok ok

*Grabs tissues, blankets, desserts* gotta get real ready for this now

*Pushes up virtual glasses bc I always forget to wear mine shh we don't talk about that* boyfriend taeyong you say?

Well I saY GTFO I DONT WANNA DIE OF TOO MUCH FEELS SIS

Ok jk come back ere I would die everyday for one (1) human being and that's Lee Taeyong

.. wait wat

Anyway

This kid dude is literally t h e best bf you could ever have like what ????

You see all those shitty posts/texts/ads about perfect boyfriends??? Yeah just like that

Or maybe better

Way better

Taeyong would love you with A L L OF HIS HEART

He's basically a five-year-old who only sees you, and like, nothing else.

Except for chocolate but like, nothing else

Like before you guys start dating

And that would probably be a GOOD while bc this pure lil child doesn't even know what dating is (no I'm serious have you seen that article)

Srsly tho

Not just that but he seems to me like the type to take relationships very seriously

Like blind dates and one night stands wouldn't be his thing, he wouldn't fancy them and just, no

He probably believes in those fictional perfect love stories

And is well aware it might take time to find the right person and is okay with waiting his whole life for it

He just secretly hopes it's soon k

And then he meets u

And wow Lee Taeyong the quiet cold-ish dude who?

More like LEE TAEYONG THE CUTEST FLUSTERED AWKWARD BALL OF FLUFF

When he saw you the first time he could swear he got like star struck or something

He gets all flustered at everything you do and he doesn't know why

Like WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY AM I BEING LIKE THIS WHAT IS THIS

BODY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

BRAIN WHAT IS THIS MESS

HEART STOP POUNDING LIKE CRAZY OKAY THANKS

Like you smile and he's a mess, you just sit there and he's a mess, you pout and he's a mess, you look at him and he's a M E S S ™

And he doesn't even know why bc he never felt like this towards someone

He'd probably meet you through one of the members

Yuta, your close friend, finally decided to introduce you to his 'brothers'

He calls them his brothers but then it took him like three years to introduce you guys bc he's one hell of an overprotective best friend, or mom, over you

"Hey guys I can't believe I'm doing this but this is my little cute precious best friend Y/N and no you can't talk to her"

"Um yuta pls calm down"

Anyways

So the first meeting goes on great I mean the guys are all super kind and funny

And so you start meeting them more often!!

And Taeyong--

istg this kid--

Like he sees you, and some fictional chibi monster starts gnawing at his insides

#SaveLeeTaeyong2k18

Like you noticed how he's kind of quiet around you and stuff but then yuta reassured you saying he's just a bit introverted and it'd take him time to open up

Bc tbh you actually thought he didn't really fancy your presence?? Since he looked really quiet and basically expressionless? and you'd like catch him glaring holes into your head from the corner of your eye??

BUT GURL LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT HE IS JUST WAY TOO WHIPPED HE KEEPS STARING DROOLING AT YOU

IT'S JUST THAT HIS POKER FACE LOOKS A BIT INTIMIDATING

BUT HE'S REALLY ALL UNDER YOUR SPELL OK LIKE YOU'RE SOME FALLEN ANGEL OR IDK OK.

ANYWAYS.

So it'd take him some time to start being comfortable around you

Considering that he's an introvert; a whipped introvert to be exact

But eventually you guys will get friendlier

And that would make him know more stuff about you and wow he never thought he could like you even more but here we are ??

Also the way you take care of the dreamies just !!! Makes his heart go !!!!!!

You just find them really cute and feel the need to protect them from all evil

Also winwin, bc take notes, winwin invented cute

And how you'd be especially close to mark

And you'd be his fav noona too

Aw.

And how you're so so kind w the older guys too

And Taeyong just-- admires you so so much

Bc he loves his friends so dearly and the fact that you love them too and take care of his beloved ones makes him so happy, he just appreciates it a lot

And legit keeps staring at you from a distance with a sweet smile as you put a scarf over jisung before he goes out or you hand winwin a new book about Korean poetry that you bought for him

And then probably Johnny passes by and lightly smacks his head to wake him from his day dreams and whispers

"Dude stop that's so creepy"

Oh btw

Everyone in the dorm knows about his crush on you

E V E R Y O N E .

Probably even their pets

This child is so bad at not getting flustered at the mere thought of you someone protecc

And the guys tease him the whole time omg

Like even the younger ones

He swears to ground them like ten times a day but ends up forgetting bc he'd be so flustered

AND SO ONE DAY

You probably get left in the dorm alone w him

Don't ask me how yuta agreed to that ok I might be the author but evEN IDK K BYE.

And so you start chatting

Probably while cleaning the mess made by another seventeen wild horses

And you both find it funny how at first you were so so distant and awkward

And now here you are casually picking up chenle's underwear from the floor and throwing it with the laundry

And you tell him how you thought he was unfriendly at first and he laughs it off

And he tells you how he watched how you treated his brothers before opening up to you

And you're like ooOooOOoH so that's why, I thought you were glaring @ me and you actually hated me

And ty would literally snap like ARE YOU KIDDING ME I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS DEEP IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE MY WHOLE LIFE---

And you're like wait what

And he's like wait what.

DING! NEW LEVEL OF SOFT UNLOCKED

HE WOULD BE LITERALLY FREAKING OUT AND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY HIS BRAIN WOULD BE ALL LIKE UNKNOWN ERROR ABORT MISSION A B O R T MISSIO--

"Taeyong it's okay I like you too

It's actually really relieving since I thought you didn't feel the same so I was a bit gloomy"

And then he apologizes for the misunderstanding

And at that moment jeno barges in and he's like um sorry am I interrupting something

And before you say anything he's like oh shit I'm really interrupting something sorry BYEEEE

But then he opens the door again and he's like okay ONE last question hyung did you ask her out yet

And ty is like jeNO I SWEAR TO GOD

And then when jeno leaves bc he realizes he needs to run for his life or else he'll spend the night in the streets,

It's really awkward before you're like

"so uh.. how about we grab some coffee? Like a first date?"

And taeyong tries his best to muster up a good answer until the word "date" leaves your mouth and he's like 1010101010011101 error shutdown sorry.

Anyways so you go out to this cute coffee shop and that's your first awkward date full of tingling feels and chibi monsters gnawing on your insides.

You probably frequent that coffee shop a lot more often after that

Bc coffee shop dates w taeyong are just so adorable

And he's adorable

*mark silently dragging my crying whipped ass away*

Arcade dates are also your thing

Since he's a little bit too obsessed with games

He loves museums too so he'd bring you to a lot of them

Especially art museums

And you're like why should we go when I've got a whole piece of art in front of me

And he blushes and smiles

Late late night dates

Where you just walk around like fools at like three in the morning bc neither of you could sleep

And you probably grab some ice cream

Okay I'm making it sound like you'd be such an outdoor couple when you're not lmao

Okay not rlly

But my point is that you'd prefer cuddling in bed all day over any of those

Not only in bed but really everywhere

Y'all are just so cute and soft

Skinship skinship and a lot of skinship

He can't stay like ten seconds without touching you

idk like he has to grab your hand or hug you or have you hug him or juST BE IN PHYSICAL CONTACT W YOU OK LIKE HE MIGHT DIE OR SMG OK

But there are some small cute things you notice he likes

Like back hugging you when you're doing literally anything

Like you'd be cooking or washing the dishes or freaking wiping away the dust or just looking out the window and he'd waddle to you as if his skinship'o'meter is hitting a critically low level and he needs urgent recharge

He'd then slowly wrap his arms around you so so gently yet you still feel like his whole world depends on that hug

90% of the time he'd rest his chin on your shoulder

Okay not his chin but technically press his lips against your shoulder, crook of neck, neck, collarbones, hairline, the skin behind your ear, your jawline, basically anywhere he could reach

Like they aren't even kisses his lips would just ever so softly ghost around your skin and his nose would nuzzle your crooks

You're dead if you're ticklish

He also likes intertwining fingers

Like not even all fingers but two or three

He'd love link your index and ring fingers as you walk, lay around and whenever he holds your hand which is often

He love love loves when you play with his hair

Kittyong anybody?

Esp as you praise him

Or you cup his cheeks and then your hands slowly creep to his ears and then to play with the hair on the back of his head

Or simply when you're laying down as he rests on your chest

He looooves doing that

Like he doesn't even care if you're boobless he just really loves that

Sometimes while having really deep conversations

Or when you're cheering him up if he's ever having a rough time

Like you'd gently caress his hair as you tell him all the things you love about him

If he's really really down he'd silently cry and hugs you tighter

And then end up falling asleep to your soft soothing voice and touch

He's usually very cheerful and hyper though

You'd love spending time in the kitchen tgt

Flour fights aren't that common bc he's usually tidy but they do happen so watch out

He loves cooking for you

And LOVES when you cook for him

Like even the simplest things

You don't really have to be that good at cooking like you'd crack him an egg and he'd be as happy as if you've served him a full course meal

He'd teach you how to cook but wouldn't let you do it like tf

He says to use those skills when he's not home

Although whenever he's leaving for some time he'd stack up the fridge w food that would probably last a year

Very random kisses

Like very random listen to me

You'd be like watching TV or something and he'd suddenly turn and peck your cheek then go back to watching

And you're like ?????

And he's like nothing I just wanted to do it

And you're like ????? uwu

Man I could talk about him all day but no one can afford this

This is already way longer than all my other boyfriend posts wsdswdsdwdswdws

He just wants to be loved okay give my boi some sarang

Just kidding give him all the sarang lmao

No really I'm serious.

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rhttnlink-blog · 6 years ago

Note

🍉 (I’m gonna do urs later don’t worry boo I want to spend a lot of time on it ❤️)

oh gurl this gon be LOWNG so ok i was a world class rhink blogs stalker before i made this blog and ur blog was a fav of mine i remember i kept refreshing the page to see if u posted anything new yet or nah so when i made this blog the first thing i had to do was follow you and i freaked out when u followed me back bc i was just a lil babey who knew nobody in the fandom :(my fav thing abt ur blog is well EVERYTHING you are supet ultra mega funni all ur posts are A+ you always have such horny good anons that make my day and i love hearing ur opinions abt things and ur relationship w ur gf is SUPER CUTE i love it so much omg (not in a creepy way) fav thing abt u omg idk everything again? u r super fucking hot im not even kidding bruh like step on me and you are kind to everyone and very like laid back and chill i feel like getting high w you would be very nice! i love it when u post selfies its always so good and ur sense of humor is the best im not kidding seeing u on my dash always makes me go !!!💟💕💗

#i still stalk u lmao #nah but when im not active i check ur blog always to see what ive missed #em is one of my fav ppl on here #i love u :(#mootuals

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lil-nct-scenarios-11 · 6 years ago

Text

Jaehyun- Hubby

Group: NCT- Jaehyun

Theme: Request- Jaehyun as a husband

Type: bullet-style reaction - fluffff

whooooooop here we go!

first of all congrats on being this peach’s wife

where was my invite to the wedding

jk I play too much

let’s get into this

I gotta start off with the nsfw stuff first

(jk I don't do that on my blog ahahah, anyways)

gurlll u know you’d get that good good *wink wink*

I meann if you’ve seen him perform ever then you know what I’m talkin abt

I mean ik he a peach but everyone knows he highkey a freak

so like have fun

plus

he’d be such a good kisser both passionately and sweetly

aighht so now that that’s out of the way lets go onto the fluff cuz everyone also knows he aint called a peach for no reason

he’d be sweetest hubby ever

don't fight me on this

like he’d leave you the sweetest notes in the morning before he leaves for work and when he’d come home he would always greet you with a hug and kiss no expections

he would not be shy with his love for you, you’re his wife after all why would he?

butttt when you would kiss him in public or something then this fluff giant would be so shy that you wouldn't know what to do with him

he would spoil you rotten like oml

he’d shower you in brand named gifts and luxurious dinners

basically he’d make you feel like the queen that you are

aww if you’d ever have a hard time falling asleep then he’d take care of the problem one of two ways

A: pat-a-cake with no hands

ahem gunna keep my blog pure so we’re sticking with that

B: he’d pull out his guitar and play you a lil lullaby cuz you’re his baby

he’d care for you so much its almost pathetic except its not

it’ll kill him to see you sad or hurt in any way, shape, or form

his sole duty towards you would be to keep you happy at all costs

let’s just say y’all ever got in a fight

it would never be over something serious bc when y’all serious then y’all talk shit out and all that good stuff

but going back to the fight it always be abt some petty shit like what kinda peaches to buy: the white ones or the golden ones

get the golden ones

so like when yall having your lil petty fights then he would be hecka extra n he would get so into it

if yall ever doing something like just having breakfast then he’d forget to eat cuz he’d be too busy just checking you out cuz you’d be the most angelic n prefect person in the world to him

and if you’d ever feel insecure then he’d go out his way to make you feel special

like let’s just you’re insecure about your stretch marks or the way your tummy sticks out then he’d kiss those areas and tell you how much he loves them on you or he’d buy clothes that would bring out those features and help you to embrace them

when yall cooking food then he’d always try to distract you by either touching you a lot or start singing or dancing out nowhere

orr is he’s feeling extra playful that day then he’d place your ingredients in another location when you aren't looking and watch you struggle to look for it

and once you’ve had enough you’d put your hands on your hips then he’d know you’ve had it but you couldn’t bring yourself to stay mad or annoyed at him for him cuz he’d do some cute shit like hide the carrot behind his back and say something like ‘you gotta kiss me in order to get it back’

and oml you guys would start so many fires or be close to cuz his distraction methods would work

rip all the burnt food

he would always have a smile on his face or just be lost in his thoughts

“Jae, what's on your mind“

“nothing, just wondering how I got so lucky to be able to make and to call you my wife“

*insert a blushy you*

BASICALLY

lemme wrap this up

gurl he would love you so much and treat you with lots of care and compassion and he would be an excellent hubby

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kachuwritings · 7 years ago

Text

Seventeen as dads

This is going to be my 200 follower special requested by a lovely anon, thank you!~

I made it with bullet points, I hope you’ll enjoy!^-^

S.Coups:

The born dad, I tell you

Searching for the perfect dad?

Here he his

Choi Seungcheol aka daddy af ;)

Is already a dad of 11, so he's experienced

He'll always know what to do, like in every situation

Has a solution for literally everything

Will care so much about your kids

He always has everything ready that your son or daughter might need when going out

Literally so protective over you and the kids

Like a momma lion, if someone steps too close to you he'll attacc

But so fluffy~ towards you and the lil ones

He loves you and the kids to no end

Will teach your son to be manly and strong

Like him

Cuz he's manly and strong (but also so fluffy and he knows he can't hide it)

Is such a happy dad overall

Jeonghan:

Prettiest dad ever

Like have you seen him???

Your kids are gonna be pretty af

Them genes gurl

He'll definitely teach them being smug

But also lazy

And you're like: “Hannie noooo! Be a better role model"

But he'll just keep lying down and munching chips with the kids

They'll love him so much for this

But honestly, he'll be a great dad

Will always take care of the kids

Will teach them useful things

Like cheating their way to success *cough*

But seriously tho!! He'll be such a good dad and he'll love it

Always ready to braid or comb his daughter’s hair

Adores her hair and thinks back to the time when his hair was long

You and him will have the prettiest kids with the most beautiful hair

Joshua:

Dorkiest dad ever

Always gentle and nice tho

But can be low-key a lil bitch

Your kids will love him

Always sings them to sleep with his sweet voice while playing guitar

And you're sitting next to him, adoring him and asking yourself how you've become so lucky

Such a good dad

Like for real

He's like one of these role model dads

Going on bike rides with the kids

And teaching them how to swim

Playing games

Just being a dad

It's like his new fav thing to do

And you're glad he's around so much even tho he has such a busy schedule

Will force your kids to go to church with him (ok this is joke chill guys)

You couldn't wish for a better dad

Like Really.

Jun:

The duality of this dude will even confuse his children

One time he'll be a shy lil muffin dad

And another one he'll be an overconfident daddy-o

Don’t get fooled by this one

He'll always keep it interesting

Your kids will never be bored with him

Is a talented beb and will probably teach your kids everything they want to

He can act so he’ll probably teach your children how to act

They’ll be asking him to do improvisations and watch him act out different roles

It’s so entertaining and you realize once again how amazing your man Wen Junhui is

Like….so so soooo amazing

Is SOFT

Like so soft for you and the kids

Also low-key emotional

Don't let him cry in front of the kids or they'll get worried lmao

But you'll be such a happy family

He'll teach you and the kids everything about Chinese culture

And of course your kids will grow up being able to speak mandarin

Even if you don't stan Wen Junhui, believe me you'd want kids with him

Hoshi:

FunNieSt DaD eVer

Like Hoshi is such a cinnamon roll

He'll adore your kids to no end

Always makes them laugh and is able to cheer them up when they're sad

Probably teaches them how to dance

Like gurl, you're married to a choreographer or course your children are going to love dancing with their dad

BeCauSE

Look at this good-looking, talented, lil bun

Such a proud dad

Your children are equally as proud of him

BuTttt

Hoshi is a cinnamon roll...most of the time

There's these rare occasions when he'll get angry because he's overworked and stressed and loses his temper

Can be reallll scary when angry

Your children will be low-key shocked about his sudden change of demeanor

But he'll notice and be like: Omg I cAnT posSibLy scAre mY oWn cHildRen

And he'll immediately calm down and comfort your kids

He's a loving dad and would feel really guilty to have scared them momentarily

Wonwoo:

Ayyyyy I see him as such a cute and nerdy dad

Like, always wears his glasses and looking fluffy af

You and the kids gotta deal with his occasional dad jokes

Thinks is funny, but really isn't

He even isn't funny to a point where it becomes funny again

Buys cute lil glasses for your children to match him

You get one too, believe me

You'll be the perfect nerd family

He'll always sit with the children in the evening and reads them stories from books to fall asleep to

Since Wonwoo loves books, your children will come to love them as well

Already at a young age

Probably eager to teach your children how to read before they even enter school

I see him as this typical, cute, fluffy, nerdy dad

+SOFT AF

Woozi:

Oh oh, don't get me started with this one

Your children are going to LOVE music

He’ll teach them how to play instruments

he'll play the sweetest of melodies on the piano

Will also sing to your children when they can't fall asleep

He might look cold and unemotional

Or kinda hard on the outside

But the love he holds inside his heart for you and the kids is infinite

He might not show his affection a lot

And also is kind of a workaholic kinda dad

Because he loves his job and music and he's so dedicated

But

If he does show his affection and become clingy and cuddly

You'll feel how much your family means to him

Probably writes a song about you and the kids

You guys are his inspiration and motivation

You help him keep going

In total

Just a cute lil dad who wants to love and be loved

Also kinda manly at times tho

But overall a really caring dad

DK:

Damn...he's such a loud dad

Like sooooo loud

Probably screams louder than all your children combined

Will always play with them

They probably gonna have a screaming contest

Y'all be playing some game and he'll randomly start screaming and entertaining y’all

He's such a fun dad seriously

Always knows what your children want

And always ready to spoil them

Is also soFT

And emotional

Is sensitive and gets hurt easily

Will then sulk and pout at your kids (in a joking manner) until they feel guilty and shower him with hugs

ALWAYS TAKES YOUR KIDS ON PIGGY-BACK RIDES 1.0

And he's definitely also one of these dads who'll sing your children to sleep

Maybe you'll even join him and you'll sing together

But you also just want to listen to his beautiful voice

Is probably the most excited dad ever

Mingyu:

This tall bean lmao

Such a clumsy dad I tell you

He's a literal puppy

He's also such a big baby and he always seems to trip over his own feet

Your children will probably laugh at him tbh

But he won't be mad since he's happy he can entertain them

Even if he makes a fool out of himself

ALWAYS TAKES YOUR KIDS ON PIGGY-BACK RIDES 2.0

Like they'll love to have such a great view over the world from such a high spot

Cuz Mingyu is as tall ad a mountain

Yup

He's a fluffy bean and will make sure his children are always happy

He loves cooking for y'all

He'll cook so many delicious foods

Your children get excited and want to help him

So he'll teach them how to cook

It's such a sweet sight seeing your man cooking with your children in the kitchen

He's the kind of Disney prince dad

Like the perfect and most handsome dad ever

You couldn't wish for anything better

Minghao:

A smug dad tbh

He's a savage but also a lil bean

Such an innocent dad help

He's emotional and so caring

He'll give you and your children the whole freaking world

Always makes sure you’re all happy

Hates to see any of you unhappy

But sometimes...sometimes...

When thughao gets through to him

Your kids will be like what??just??happened???with???dad???

He'll have the most savage things to say and y'all are just lmao u for real?

Probably teaches your kids to be swaggy and savage

Also wants to teach them how to b-boy

The other half of chinaline, so your kids will grow up to know how to speak mandarin as well

Also loves to read to them like Wonwoo

Discusses books with you and the children like in a small book club

Also goes to art museums with y'all and teach you about art

You'll all draw and paint together

Your children will love to throw paint at the canvas, lemme tell you

IT'LL CREATE A MESS

But it's a happy mess, so it's okay

Coolest dad ever!!!

Fite me on this one

Seungkwan:

OVERDRAMATIC DAD OH LORD

If one of your children trips and scratches his knee

He'll act as if they're about to die

Rushes towards them and makes sure they're okay

“OMG MY BABY IS HURT"

he's so caring istg

Even if he's overreacting and overdramatic

It only shows how much he cares for all of you

Loves you and the kids to no end

Sweetest father ever

(Whenever he's not in diva!boo mode)

Also has a beautiful voice

Of course I won't forget about this

I've mentioned it a lot

BuTtttt

Will also sing your children to sleep

Will always sing

Like 24/7

Will sing when preparing breakfast for y'all

Will sing in the shower

Will sing when picking your children up from kindergarden

Will probably even sing while taking a nap istg this boi

But you and the kids love his voice

(Even if it's sometimes a lil much)

But they'll definitely want to sing along with him so he'll teach them how to sing the songs they like

So proud of you and the kids

Vernon:

Oh no this dork

He's soooooft

But also chill and relaxed

Your life will be so comfortable with him

Your kids will really take after him

Y'all are going to have lazy family movie evenings

But

Like I said

He's a dork

Probably tries to sell his mixtape to your children

And they'll be like

Dadd????

What is this???

We don't have any money???

He'll make them listen to the mixtape along with you

And they're so surprised like

Omg I didn't know my dad was so cool

He can rap??? My dad can rap???

Your kids will be so amazed

Want him to teach them how to rap

Probably writes funny little rhymes about your family life or other stuff that he'll rap to your kids

They'll have so much fun

He even tries to teach them how to write lyrics

But they'll just stare at him with big eyes

Dad...how do you even write? What is the alphabet?

And you'll just look at them and giggle to yourself

Your life will be all around great with Vernon and the kids

You have such a chill family life

Y'all harmonize so well with each other

Chillest dad ever

Like your kids will never get in trouble because he's so chill

But still cares about teaching your children proper manners

Dino:

Aaaaah the baby himself has babies what

Ok i'm sorry

Chan is an adult now

He's a hard-working one

Very passionate

Very thoughtful dad

He'll know how to treat you and the children right

Your children look up to him tbh

Entertains you all with Michael Jackson impersonations

DaNcE GoD

Will probably teach your children how to dance like Hoshi

But they'll also be so eager about it

Every time they see him dance they're like

OMG DAD!!! TEACH US!!

DAD I WANNA KNOW HOW TI DANCE

And he'll be so proud

Will definitely teach them

It's gonna be so much fun and you're watching them trying to get the moves right and copying his movements

He's an active and motivated dad

Y'all are probably be the next new dancing family in town

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