#like giving them donuts even if your mom clearly told you not to

[sabo-has-my-heart]

Hi hi!

I saw you open for request and I want to drop something for our donut/ mochi man kata.

We all know his scarf in the anime but how did he get it? So I was thinking if you could maaaaaybe make something that his girlfriend gave it to him, seeing how his Former one being >loved<, but is between happy and sad.

Sad, that He has to hide his face but happy, knowing she is the only one allowed to see?

That would be so sweet 🥰🥰

Yes, I'm still currently open for requests. As a note, there is a bit of crack/comedy towards the end. I thought it would be fun and it would tie up the ending nicely. I hope it's okay.

Warnings: WCI spoilers, Brulee getting hurt, minor crack

Word Count: 1220

     It had been years ago that he’d first put the scarf on, so long that most people didn’t remember what he looked like under it. Some of the few people who remembered were Brulee, Oven, Daifuku, and Perospero. There were a few others in his family that remembered, but not many. There was, however, one person outside his family that remembered what he looked like. A little girl, about his age, who’d had a crush on him. Most people mocked him for his ‘eel-like’ mouth. His mouth that could stretch, his sharp teeth and scars. But he hadn’t cared, hadn’t cared until they’d hurt Brulee. The bullies had gotten revenge on him by hurting his sister.

     Running up to a young, 9-year-old Katakuri, you smiled. As with every morning, you held out a box of homemade donuts for him. Your parents ran a bakery so every morning, no matter what the day looked like, you would give him a box of 6 donuts. It’s how the two of you had met. He’d heard of your parents’ bakery and decided to see what all the hype was about. It had been well worth the trip, finding that the donuts were some of the most delicious he’d ever had. When he’d walked up to the counter to tell your parents, they’d just smiled and called you in. It had been your first ever batch. Granted, you’d gotten a lot of help from your parents in making the dough, shaping it correctly and, of course, frying it, but you’d still been so proud of yourself. Being so young, you hadn’t cared what he looked like as you ran over and hugged him. You’d been 7 and he’d been 8. From that day on, he visited as often as possible until you started bringing them to him every morning. But more importantly, you were always the one who’d made the ones he ate.

     Whenever he was free, he spent time with you. As the second son of Big Mom, there were certain expectations of him, but he saw you as often as possible. You’d also gotten to know his little sister, Brulee. You loved the little girl, often hugging her whenever you saw her. Your crush on him grew and grew, even as a little girl, finding that he was particularly kind to you. While he could be cold or even mean to others, he was always kind to you. When you’d heard about what had happened to Brulee, you’d been horrified, instantly running to the girl to see how she was doing. She’d been laying in a hospital bed, her face bandaged, but still smiling. It was a sad, pained smile, but she was clearly trying to be strong. 

     Once you’d found out about who had done it, you’d approached Katakuri. He’d been furious. So much so that he’d very nearly hit you as you approached him, stopping at the last second as he realized it was you. He told you about how he wanted to protect his family from now on, about how he needed to get stronger, how he needed to find a way to make sure that the bullies didn’t attack his family in order to attack him. His only solution was to hide his face. They’d attacked Brulee to get back at Katakuri, they’d wanted to get back at Katakuri for beating them up. They’d only harassed Katakuri for his mouth, meaning his mouth was the problem. You’d disagreed, but knew you couldn’t change his mind, so you’d asked him to give you 2 weeks. For the entire 2 weeks, you’d done nothing but work on the item. You didn’t make donuts, you only left the house to check on Brulee, all you did was sit there working on it. Finally, you’d presented him with the gift. A scarf, black with white fur lining. Wrapping it around him, it covered his mouth, hiding it away. 

     You hated that he was intent on hiding his face away, that he wouldn’t ever show his face to anybody ever again, but it was okay. It was okay because it meant that you could give him the most meaningful gift you’d ever given anyone. Hours and hours of sewing by hand, making sure each and every stitch was perfect, that each centimeter of the scarf was perfect. That was the day he’d first shown you how he felt about you. He’d pulled down the scarf just enough to show his mouth, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek before pulling the scarf back up. You soon became the only one allowed to see his full face.

     At first, his meriendas were taken in his room, the both of you locked away in his room as he enjoyed his treats. You’d nibble on a single donut that he always gave you, being the only person he’d ever share a donut with and you’d let him lay his head in your lap, making his meriendas all the more enjoyable. If he wasn’t in the middle of singing it, you’d often hum his donut song while nibbling on your own donut, bringing him more peace and contentment. While you were still sad that he had to wear the scarf, it was made better by the knowledge that you were the only one who got to see his face. As he got older, grew in size, you’d make him a new scarf to fit him properly as needed and each time it was just as special as the first. Every scarf you’d ever made him was carefully hung in his closet, hidden away from the world, just like his mouth, but kept close to his heart. He’d asked you out on a date a couple of years after you gave him the scarf, becoming your actual boyfriend. He’d made a special house of mochi, the first time he’d successfully done so, and had the chefs bring in a fine dinner. The two of you had enjoyed a sweet dinner together. 

     It soon became a rumor that he didn’t relax even during his meriendas, that Katakuri used it as ‘intense concentration’ and ‘nutritional intake’. At first it had taken everything you had to not laugh, knowing how Katakuri truly spent his time. You’d been asked a few times what it was like to join Katakuri during his meriendas, to be allowed to witness such a sacred moment. You’d thought it would be funny to further the rumor, saying that he communed with the gods of battle, that it was such a divine moment that even the heavens bathed him in a holy glow!... Katakuri hadn’t been amused. While you’d never thought of Katakuri as petty, he’d managed to get his payback. Saying that the time was sacred to you both. That you had been blessed by the gods of battle, that you were his oracle and blessed icon. From then on, you both spent his meriendas together, not that you minded. You were more than happy to join him during such a ‘sacred moment’ as his ‘holy idol’. More than happy to be the only one to see his handsome face, to see him truly enjoying himself. It was sad that he couldn’t show his face, but it was okay, because it was a special, rare, and ‘sacred’ moment meant only for you.

[byfulcrums]

Everyone makes Mei and MK thinking of each other as brother and sister but no one actually shows them doing the actual sibling stuff

Give me Mei eating all of MK's food. Give me MK making an actual grave for all the food Mei stole. Give me MK being sad, and instead of comforting him, Mei filling his fridge with his favorite dessert and having a movie night with him. Give me them bickering over who should drive. Mei absolutely murdering anyone who dares hurt MK and viceversa. Give me MK doing something stupid, getting hurt and Mei laughing so hard she falls and gets hurt too

[ongaku-ato-kakikomi]

PLEASE I NEED A GG FIC!!

So basically the reader drops out of chilton in her senior year and rory yells at her but she didn't know the reader got into this big art school in new york

You jump up when a school bag is roughly dropped on your table, your opened mouth freezing in mid-air as your hand gently holds onto your donut.

"You dropped out of Chilton?"

You slowly close your mouth when you hear Rory's voice, the aggressiveness in her tone making you put your donut back on your plate. "Hello to you too, Rory."

She gives out a groan as she plops down on a chair, her eyes glaring at you with frustration. "I've looked everywhere for you today, (Y/N)! I thought you were sick or something! But then you know what I learn? That you dropped out of school!"

"... sorry." You blink a few times, unsure of where she's going with this. "But I-"

"Did you lose your mind?" Rory doesn't seem to realize the loudness of her voice, Luke's other customers turning annoyed looks towards you two. "This is our senior year; our last year at Chilton... and you just drop out without even warning me?"

You give out a long sigh, letting your back hit the chair. "Rory..."

"There's no excuses, (Y/N)! Have you even think about the future?" You stay quiet as you watch her start one of her many frustrated rambles, the Gilmore girl unaware of the quirked eyebrow appearing on your face. "What about college? Harvard? We were supposed to go to Harvard together!"

"Rory, I didn't drop out."

"How did your parents let you do this! Are they as insane as you?-" Her words turn to silence as soon as she registers your words, confusion rapidly spreading into her eyes. "Wait, what?"

"I didn't drop out of Chilton." You cross your arms over your chest, your annoyance clearly visible on your face. "I'm transferring to Laguardia."

She blinks a few times, her eyes widening a few seconds later. "You're transferring to a top art school in New York?"

"You remember the charity auction at your mom's work? The one where we sold a few of my pieces?" She slowly nods in agreement, another sigh coming out of your lips. "Well, they saw them... and they contacted my parents to see if I could be transferred there. I'm gonna move in with my grandparents so I can start next week..."

"(Y/N), that's amazing!" Rory's lips stretch out onto her cheeks, a happy gleam appearing in her eyes as she feels the excitement rise inside her chest. "That's been your dream since forever! Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Well, I was scared you would..." You make a gesture towards her, an unsure look on your face. "... do what you just did, basically."

"Ugh, I'm sorry..." A blush of embarrassment graces Rory's cheeks, the Gilmore girl partially hiding her face behind her hands. "I just got so mad when I learned you left..."

"It's okay, Rory... I should have told you in the first place." You give out a genuine smile, a sadden look taking over your eyes. "You're my friend, after all."

She manages to give a smile back, her hands reaching across the table so she can squeeze yours. "I'm gonna miss you like crazy, though."

"I'll still come back here every weekend. You know, to see my parents and all." You give out a grin as you say those words, squeezing her hands back. "Think you can squeeze a little weekend time for me?"

She giggles, shaking her head. "I'd book all the time in the world for you."

[oitommothetease]

Invisible String (11/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Word Count: 2.3k words

Warning : fluff, angst, shitty Steve, Don’t ask me why I make Steve so unlikable in every thing  I write( PS I’m still mad at endgame Steve), mention of sex

If someone had told you that you would wake up snuggled to your boss — naked — you would have told them to fuck off and leave you alone. Not that the idea of James in your bed was repulsive, no, it was actually quite the opposite. You wanted him so much that it scared you because he — well, he was so gorgeous, and you were you. And he even looked better lying in your bed while the sunlight peaked onto his face from the window, making his stubble and hair appear golden-ish. Even as hard his exterior was, everything about him, mostly sleeping in your bed, appeared soft. 

“You know, watching people while they sleep is kinda creepy,” James said, his voice gruff from sleep and you felt heat rushing through your body. God, his morning voice was so hot. It took a second for your brain to register his words and when it did, you moved your gaze away from him.

“You’re beautiful,” you blurted out. You could feel him rumbling as he rubbed his still sleep-dazed eyes.

He gently lifted his hand to place it on your face, caressing your cheek softly with his knuckles as he said, “You are beautiful."

You jokingly rolled your eyes and shifted your face slightly to plant a kiss on the inside of his palm. “Don’t you have a club to run?” 

“The club can wait,” Bucky’s hand trailed off from your face to your waist and he flipped you, situating you on his lap and kissed you lazily while his hands roamed around your body. 

***

Bucky felt like he was dreaming, he felt as if any moment you’ll slip out of his grasp and he would have to wake up. This was too good to be true, you were too good to be true. After an incredible morning, which included him pounding into you in your bed and then on the kitchen worktop and then in the shower. He couldn’t keep his hands to himself, he needed to touch you — feel you — make sure you were here with him safe. 

It wasn’t just sex, it was so intimate that it felt so much more. The time when he wasn’t buried inside you, you’d talk about everything. He told you that when he was a kid, he loved baking. His mom worked, so he spent most of his time helping his sister with her new hobby. Rebecca soon grew out of it, but Bucky didn’t. He told you he’d love to open a bakery in a foreign country.

“You know, we can go to Europe,” you suggested. “You can open a bakery and maybe some chocolate whiff is all I need to break out from my writing slump.”

Bucky’s heart ached at your confession, he was delighted to know that he wasn’t the only one that was fantasizing about a future with you. He had never told his ambitions to anyone, mainly because when he did tell someone, they laughed at him. His career and exterior did not match his dreams, and soon those dreams died. But you made him desire that peaceful life. He wanted peace and tranquility in his life with you. Maybe tomorrow he would wake up and realize that this was some dream, and he was alone in his apartment and not in your bed. 

“Have you thought of a name yet?” you asked, “For the bakery.”

“Did you recall that song you were humming?”

 “No,” you said, “But I’m sure it will make a great bakery name.”

You curled up into his chest, you were almost asleep. He kissed the top of your head, refusing to succumb to sleep, holding you tightly so that even if this was an elaborate fantasy that his mind had conjured, he was adamant to still make the most of it.

***

After leaving your house to get ready for work, that's when he finally realized that this was real. You were his, and he was yours in a sense that no amount of words could comprehend. You hadn’t put any official labels on your relationship, but the way you moaned his name and breathlessly whispered, “I’m yours. All yours.” multiple times in his ears was enough.

Bucky hated when people called him James, it reminded him of his father, but the way you said his name with adoration filled in your eyes and tone made him content. You made him feel content and happy with everything you did without even realizing it. Bucky hoped he could do the same for you — make you feel at peace.

“I’ve been calling you since morning,” Steve commented the moment Bucky entered his office. He eyed the group of people — Steve, Sam, Clint, Pietro, Wanda, and Peter in his office before exhaling. Although Bucky was their boss, that didn't deter them from treating him like the friend he was. He didn’t mind that either, these people gave him a sense of belonging — a family, and he would give his life for them just like they would for him.

“I was asleep,” Bucky lied. And of course, his friends didn’t buy it.

“I came by your place this morning. You weren't there sleeping,” Steve retorted. He didn’t like how his best friend who he saw as a brother was hiding things from him. 

Fuck, Bucky thought. Admittedly, he wasn't at his place, he was at yours. He didn’t know what to say when six sets of eyes were looking at him expectantly. He couldn’t tell the truth, he wasn't a kiss-and-tell kind of guy. He wanted to avoid telling because you met these people every day, and it would become awkward for you; but mostly he didn’t want anyone to find out because it was so new for him that he was scared to even mention your relationship, terrified of jinxing it. 

Just when he was about to muster up an excuse, a soft knock on his office door snapped everyone’s attention towards the entrance. Bucky’s relief was short-lived the moment he realized it couldn’t be anyone except you. Now everyone was looking at Bucky impatiently, waiting for him to respond. 

If it were anyone else Bucky would have asked them to go away, but it was you. You were knocking at his door. He wanted to see you, see the marks hidden behind the concealer or collar when he sucked your neck a little too hard the previous night and this morning. Mainly, he wanted to see you.

“Come in,” He said, ignoring the stares his friends were giving him. His breath hitched at your sight, you were really breathtaking. You weren't looking at him or anyone in the room. No, you were holding two coffees and a bag of donuts in your hand. Your eyes were focused and you were looking inside the bag, searching for a dish to put his donut in, when you said, “I knew you'd skip breakfast after you left this morning. I brought you -” 

“Y/N,” Wanda cut you off.

Bucky internally thanked Wanda because he didn’t have it in him to stop you from speaking.  And that’s when you finally looked up and were met with seven people staring at you. Sam, Wanda, and Pietro were looking at you with a smirk on their face. Peter looked down at his feet. Clint was clueless and confused. Steve wasn’t looking at you, he was staring at his best pal who lied to him about his whereabouts. And Bucky’s eyes were fixed on you and when yours landed on his, he smiled at you and shook his head, telling you that he got you.

“What are you doing here, Y/N? Your shift doesn’t start till night,” Pietro informed, he was clearly teasing you. And soon a sense of understanding came to Clint’s senses when he joined the dots and his eyes widened before a smirk formed on his lips.

“I… I,” you stuttered. Your brain couldn't come up with an excuse this quickly. Bucky opened his mouth to say something, but you raised your hands and the packet of donuts with it and excitedly said, “I brought doughnuts!”

“Thank you!” Bucky exclaimed, swiftly walking towards you, taking the donuts from your hand, and placing it on the table. He draped his arm around your waist before leading you outside his office. His friends knew now, he wasn’t going to tone down the PDA in front of them. He just didn't want you to feel awkward or under anyone's subjection.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” you started once you were away from everyone. “I wouldn’t have if I knew -”

Bucky’s lips landed on yours, stopping your rambling. His arms snaked around your waist, pushing you flush against his chest, and you wrapped your hands around his neck. “It wasn’t your fault,” he mumbled adjacent to your lips and you sighed in relief.

“I just wanted to bring you breakfast since we couldn’t have it,” you pouted, flusteredly thinking about the morning activities that stopped you from having breakfast.

Bucky beamed down at you and planted another soft kiss on your lips. “How about I make it up to you at lunch,” he suggested, “I'll bake something for you too.”

You nodded excitedly and were about to leave when Bucky gently took your wrist in his hand. “Doll, text me when you reach home, yeah?”

***

Bucky dreaded going back into his office, he knew he would be bombarded with questions and knowing smirks. He decided to rip off the band and entered the office. “Okay, go for it, ask away.”

“How long has this been going on?” Steve was the first one to question.

“I mean, officially since last night.”

Sam was about to drop a snarky comment when Pietro chimed in. “Who asked who out?” 

“I asked her out,” Bucky answered, and was bewildered. “Why is that important?” 

“I knew it!” Wanda cheered and raised her hand, palms up, towards the blond. “Pay up,” Pietro grumbled before handling her sister 20 dollars.

“You guys bet on us?” Bucky asked and was met with amused snickers from everyone except Steve. Peter stepped forwards before saying, “I had no part in this, Mr. Barnes.”

The twins rolled their eyes before Steve interjected another one of Sam’s almost snippy comments. “She is the reason you attacked Rumlow, isn't she?”

Sam raised his hands in frustration and turned towards his husband. “Come on, babe. You just had to ruin the fun.”

Bucky exhaled and answered honestly, “Yes, but I can’t tell you why. You just have to take my word for it and trust me that he deserved it.”

“Buck, I’m not saying I don’t trust you, but you have to understand where my fear is coming from,” Steve said, “I know Rumlow and I know he's planning something big. We have to be careful. You can't be distracted by this girl, pal.”

Bucky was furious. He did not expect his best bud to say that. Steve knew how much Bucky pinned for you, he knew how much Bucky wanted you. How could he just say that about you after knowing all of this? “That’s rich coming from you after you told me to be happy.”

Bucky huffed in disbelief, his voice filled with venom. “Well, guess what, pal? She makes me happy.”

Nobody dared to intervene between the childhood friends. Everyone knew that Steve was saying stupid shit out of concern, but Bucky couldn’t see it. Bucky would fight anyone for you, even his best pal.

“You attacked our enemy because of this girl that you’ve been with since what — a day?” Steve scoffed sarcastically, and Bucky’s breath was drawn and his fists balled.

“I attacked him because he-” Bucky cursed himself and inhaled sharply. He couldn’t do this to you, it wasn't his decision to tell. You had decided that nobody would find out about what Rumlow did to you, not even cops, and Bucky respected your decision. He wouldn’t do this to you, especially not out of anger and in front of multiple people you didn't even know.

Before Steve could say something, Bucky’s phone vibrated on the table. A text, Bucky assumed it was you, informing him that you had reached home. You — thinking about you made him take a breath and calmed him a bit. He decided he would text you in the privacy of his office, after his friends would leave. He would text you back or better call you when he wasn’t fuming with rage at his best friend, then he would take you out on a lunch date. 

Bucky was about to reach for his phone when Clint finally spoke up, “Steve, we will be careful, okay? We will contact our sources and find out about Rumlow’s plan.”

All the heads present in the office accepted this decision. Sam scolded Steve and Bucky and made them hug out their issues like kindergarteners. Peter offered to make a drink and everyone made their way downstairs towards the bar, leaving the office and Bucky’s phone unattended.

What Bucky didn’t know was that Rumlow’s plan was already in action, in reality, he had even succeeded in his plan.

If Bucky had checked his phone, then he would have realized it wasn't a text from you, instead, it was a text from an unknown number with an attached photo. The picture was of you tied to a chair, your eyes half-lidded with drugs and tears, and a bruise forming on your left cheek.

TAGS :  @bananapipedreams @akkinda10 @rivers-rambles21​ @emmabarnes @valsworldofcreativity @boofy1998 @marvel-3407 @mybuck @priii @coffeebooksandfandom @ladydmalfoy @shaking-a-jar-of-bees @elizamalfoyy

[boldlyvoid]

Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea | Chapter 5-9

1Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault

Word Count: 14.3K

1-4, 5-9, Epilogue

Chapter 5

Spencer agreed to a Thursday night game night in her office sometime last week, and she’s spent every day since then planning it out for him.

Learning that he really loved Tandoori chicken, making it from scratch at home and packaging it into a couple containers to bring into work. She followed a recipe from Pinterest, hoping it bared any resemblance to what he was used to, only changing full chicken to boneless bite size cutlets, because he couldn’t use a knife in the prison.

She got a chess set at the store, as well as a deck of playing cards for the Vegas boy. Rushing out her door early Thursday morning so she could stop and get a coffee and one of his favourite doughnuts too.

Deciding that she wasn’t going to tell him how she felt any time soon, just wanting to show him friendship and support until he was finally out of prison. Vowing to uphold her oath, he was a patient in her care, she would care for him as such until he wasn’t.

She carefully placed her lunchbox and the chess set on the security desk, letting them look through it as she waited. Taking out all the food from her bag, looking through the plastic to ensure she wasn’t sneaking in anything.

“It’s just my lunch for the next 2 days, I promise,” she smiled.

“I know, but I have to look anyway,” the nice man smiled. “Have a good day today Dr. Pat.”

“Thank’s, you too, officer Kyle,” she smiled, picking her things back up and heading past the gates.

Spencer was turning the corner towards the infirmary as she walked towards the door. Officer Wilkins holding him in handcuffs as he roughly walked Spencer to her office.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she stopped, looking at Wilkins like he was an idiot. “Un-cuff inmate Reid, he’s not a threat. Plus, he can hold some things for me.”

“Whatever,” he huffed, roughly taking the cuffs off Spencer's wrists before leaving. Not saying another word.

“What a dick,” she mumbled as she handed him the lunchbox.

“Good morning Spencer,” she changed her tone to match her growing smile.

He sighed, smiling back as he rubbed his wrists. “Good morning to you too, Y/N.”

She opened the infirmary door, walking past all the sleeping men in the care area. Unlocking her office before inviting Spencer in. “Sorry I was almost late,” she said softly, taking the chess set and a brown paper bag out of her purse.

She set it on Spencer's desk along with the coffee that was in her hand, “for all your help this week,” she smiled.

Spencer placed her lunchbox in her fridge, laying a hand on her back as he walked past her towards his desk. “You’re too kind to me,” he was bashful as always.

“I have something I wanted to talk to you about,” she closed the door softly, making sure the blinds on the doors window were closed as well.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he tried to joke as he sat down.

“I asked to help with your case, maybe give a fresh opinion, so Penelope sent me all the files but I haven’t opened them yet,” she sat on the edge of her desk. Trying to read his body language as he took out his donut.

He liked the pink frosting off his finger, nodding as he followed along. “Why not?”

“I wanted your permission,” she pressed her lips together in an awkward smiled. His eyes raising to meet hers, innocent as ever.

“Oh?”

“You’re very reserved, you have rules about what you share, I don’t want to break the trust we’ve built by looking into something so intimate,” she explained her thoughts. “It’s not fair for me to learn about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, without you being the one to tell me.”

“What do you know already?” He asked softly, blinking at her as he patiently waited.

She smiled at him softly, grateful that he understood. “I know the 3 charges that you’re in on, and that you’re being framed.”

“I think I would prefer it if you read the file and just asked me questions. I don’t think I have the mental capacity to recite it all back to you today,” he was honest. Taking a sip of his coffee and looking away from her.

Giving up so much of himself to her so early in the day, she felt like he was finally comfortable with her.

She found the key to his thoughts and it opened just right, she could see the hurt that flowed through him, but she could also see the happiness. The side of him that he was afraid to bring out, in fear it would get him in more trouble.

“Okay,” she agreed. Sitting at her desk and finally opening the email form Penelope.

She read through his tox-screens, his drug history, his mental state. His first-hand accounts, witness statements, clues and findings his team had made. It all felt like the plot to a bad movie about revenge, possibly even female rage. But for what?

“I finished reading,” she said softly, brows furrowed as she chews the inside of her cheek. “Do you know anyone other than this Mr. Scratch guy who you’ve put away, wronged, lead on, or just pissed off?”

“Why?” He asked, clearly attached to the idea this was all Mr. Scratch’s doing.

“It feels like revenge, but very well planed. Like a women is mad at you so she found your weakness, I’ve done mean shit to exes in the past but this is insane. They knew you’d do anything for your mom, they knew your drug history, and the fact you might get schizophrenia one day, they wanted to drug you and make you think you did all this.”

Spencer stood then, listening to her words as he scrunched his face. Thinking as hard as he could, “can you call Penelope?”

“Yeah,” she nodded as she dialled her number, putting her on speaker phone.

“Well hello there, Love Doctor,” Penelope teased as she answered.

“Um hi, Spencer wanted to talk to you,” she panicked.

“Oh, sorry, how are you Spencer?”

Spencer looked so confused, “I’m good… Y/N and I were looking at the case files you sent-”

“Good, did you find anything?” Penelope cut in, eager to talk to him.

“Have you looked into everyone I’ve ever encountered on a case? Specifically women?” Spencer asked. “I told my lawyer and Emily that I remember a woman being there and helping, she must know me from a case too, like the other prison escapees he’s helped?”

“On it pretty boy, any specifics about her that you remember?” Penelope asked over the sound of her keyboard clicking away.

“Long brown hair, but it’s probably different now,” he added. “Everything else is dark, I didn’t see her face or any other features.”

“Alright, call me anytime Spence, I miss you,” Penelope said softly, changing her tone to a more sensitive one. “Take care of each other, my loves.”

“Love you,” they say at the same time. Looking at each other awkwardly after she hung up, leaving them to sit with their words alone.

Spencer was leaning so close to her she could feel his body heat radiating off him. Spencer placed his hand on her shoulder as he stood straight, towering over her as she looked up at him.

“I have patients to talk to, but I brought chess for you to teach me later,” she smiled up at him.

“Can’t wait,” he beamed a smile back.

She felt his hand rub the back of her blue scrubs lightly, pulling away as he walked back around to his desk. She watched him with careful eyes, wishing he would have stayed longer.

—

Normally at 4:30, Y/N would bring Spencer a tray of whatever the kitchen was serving her patients for dinner that night. Tonight, however, she walked into her office at 5 pm on the dot, closing the clinic for the night and putting all her attention on Spencer.

“So,” she smiled as she leaned against her office door, excitement radiating out of her. “A little birdie told me that you really like Indian food, Tandoori chicken to be exact…”

“No way?” He gasped as he turned around in his chair.

She nodded with a cheeky grin, “homemade so I could sneak it in.”

She took her lunch box out of her mini-fridge, opening it up to show him the 2 Tupperware containers. One for him, the other for her. She took the lids off and dished it onto 2 plates she keeps in the cabinet above the fridge.

Spencer grew more and more excited as she warmed it up, filling the room with a familiar smell. He was so happy, “I don’t know how to thank you for everything you do for me?”

“Come here,” she said softly, watching him walk towards her carefully.

She wrapped her arms around his middle, holding him in a hug. He carefully placed his hands on her back, holding her against his chest as he snuggled his cheek into her hair again.

“I’ll take hugs as payment from now on,” she pulled back from him as the microwaved beeped.

Taking a plastic spoon from the cutlery jar, she opened the microwave and handed him a plate. “Did you want to stay in here or go to the break room? I never use it cause I don’t have any co-workers, but it has a couch and a coffee table?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking the plate from her and waiting for her to warm up her own meal before taking a bite.

He was ever the gentleman.

Y/N reached back into her lunch box, taking out the package of naan bread, seeing Spencer’s eyes basically roll into the back of his head. “You thought of everything?”

“Bread is my life,” she laughed.

When her food was ready, she placed it on top of the chess box and led the way down to the break room. Spencer holding every door for her.

She flicked on the lights in the break room, watching them strobe before making that awful powering up frequency. She groaned, putting her food on the table before turning on a few lamps instead.

The room went from bright and anxious to relaxed and personal, the amber glow bouncing off the cream walls, it was nice. As nice as it could be in a prison. She never thought she’d be having a date at a prison.

That’s basically what this was, a date.

She made him dinner, they were going to play games, he was going to sit right beside her, close enough to kiss. She really wanted to, she’s thought about it a lot, his pink lips were perfect and she just wanted to see how they’d feel between her own.

But she wont.

“Dig in honey,” the name rolled over her tongue like it was always meant to.

She felt his eyes on her right away, realizing that she called him honey in a situation where he wasn’t crying, where he wasn’t vulnerable. She said it as a term of endearment, she couldn’t stop the embarrassment form settling in her veins.

She sat beside his softly, picking up her dinner and pretending it didn’t happen. “Thank you,” Spencer cut into the awkwardness.

“You’re welcome,” she said softly. Feeling like she could flip inside out at any moment.

From the corner of her eye she saw him take the first bite, closing his eyes as he appreciated the moment. His shoulders settled as he chewed, she could swear he almost moaned as he ate it. She has had the food in the cafeteria before, she understood his reaction.

“That good?” She asked, teasing him softly.

He nodded, silent as he took it all in. He took another bite, and another, she felt like he was going to get the hiccups at this rate but it was too cute to stop. He was like a stray dog eating inside for the first time in months, it made her happy and then a little sad.

He stayed quiet the whole time. Crossing his legs as he sat on the couch, the plate pulled in close to his chest as he shovelled spoonfuls of food into his mouth. She sat there admiring him as he did so, falling more and more every time she glanced at him.

“That was delicious,” Spencer said as he stood, placing his plate on the counter across the room. “Are you done?” He asked, taking her plate as she reached it out to him.

“Yeah, thanks,” she watched him carefully, always wanting to help her in whatever way he could.

He didn’t sit on the couch when he came back, instead, sitting on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, taking the chess set out and beginning to set it up. Not wanting to miss a moment of the freedom he felt when he was with her.

“So, chess is pretty easy to learn,” he said, looking up at her through thick eyelashes as he spoke. “Do you know any of the rules yet?”

“Um, I know where they all go, I know that you can’t go through other pieces and the horse gets to jump?” She tried to remember all the way back to grade 4, the last time someone explained the rules to her.

He was so soft with her, explaining the rules and showing her what to do. His hand would lightly brush over hers occasionally, eventually, he’d just guide her hand over the pieces that she should move. It was so nice to just be alone with him, knowing they were both allowed to be happy.

The room was mostly silent, only the sound of Spencer's advice and her giggle as she still wasn’t grasping the concept of the game.

“I just like, don’t care about the rules?” She couldn’t stop giggling at the fact she wasn’t picking up on anything he said.

Spencer laughed, it was deep and hearty, right from his soul, “then how do you want to play?”

She picked up the queen and moved it to a random spot, “I want to put this here and fight your guy. That’s why I don't get this, what is my XP? What are their skills? I was raised on Pokemon, honey.”

He made his way back to the couch, sitting closely beside her. “Well sugar pie, do you have any other games you want to play?”

She couldn’t stop herself from leaning in and pressing her lips against his. His hands wrapped around her waist on instinct as they connected.

It was everything she imagined. Soft, gentle, refreshing. Like a cold glass of ice tea on a hot summers day. She wanted more, never letting up as she kissed him.

Spencer was the one to pull off first, “shit,” she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand as she stared at him, horrified.

He laughed, smiling at her softly. “It’s okay,” he promised, “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

She doesn’t stop him from pulling her back in, holding her hand on his cheek as he kissed her again. Hungrier than before, Spencer’s tongue was on a mission. He tastes like dinner, but with his own Spencer difference.

Kissing him felt like a fairytale coming true.

She forgot where they were, his hands on the back of her scrubs and her hands in his hair as their mouths clashed. She started to lay back on the couch, pulling him down on top of her.

“We can't,” he pants against her lips. Regretting it as he pulls away from her.

“Sorry, this was unprofessional I know,” she tried to play it off.

Spencer pulled her back in, flush against his chest once more. “No, I don’t regret it. It’s just, I’m not ready.”

“Oh,” she says softly. Then it clicks, “oh, oh my god, Spencer I’m so sorry I forgot. I didn’t mean to push you into anything,” she worries, running her hands over his arms softly.

He shakes his head, “you didn’t. I want to, believe me, I just don’t think I can handle the after part…”

“I cried for 3 hours after I had sex again, after everything,” she told him in complete honesty. Not even Savannah or Derek knew that.

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to,” she assured him. “You shouldn’t have to be the only vulnerable one here, I want you to know about me.”

“You don’t have to tell me the details, I don’t want to think about someone hurting you,” he whispered, his eyes innocently studying her face for how she was feeling.

“Okay, so here’s everything else,” she was still holding his face in her hands. Rubbing her thumb over his cheeks. “I had 2 moms and a little sister, and I was raised in Boston. I met Savannah in 2004, I worked with her until a few years ago. She’s my best friend, Derek is like my big brother.”

She gave him the basics, “I don’t have a dad, my mom used the same donor for me and my sister, so I’ve never really felt safe around men because I never knew many.”

“Understandable,” he smiled softly. “what’s your mom like?”

“She died when I was 26,” she pressed her lips together awkwardly. “I haven’t talked to her wife since then, my other mom, she remarried not long after. I think she was cheating on my mom when she was going through chemo.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer whispered.

“I can relate to a lot of the stories I know about you already. My mom was my world, I don’t know my dad. I’ve been hurt by people, I’ve lost a lot of myself while trying to help others,” she brushed her nose against his softly. Letting him know she wasn’t pulling back any time soon. “Who you are is not what you did, or what you’ve been through.”

He kisses her again softly. Breathing in through his nose lightly, his hand on her back pulling her in closer and closer. He didn’t want to let her go, and she was more than happy staying in his embrace forever.

He pulled back softly, “I lied to you.” He whispered against her lips.

“When?” She asked, scared to know the answer.

“I do remember you from Derek’s wedding, he told me about you a long time ago. I told him I was ready for dating again when you told him about Mark,” he couldn’t look at her.

“That’s not a huge lie,” she smiled softly. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking at you all night, with that little blond boy. You two were so sweet, Mark got really mad at me for staring at you actually.”

“Derek told me when he hurt you, he came to my apartment right after so he wouldn’t go and kill him,” Spencer’s voice was so low she had to stare at his lips to understand him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she shook her head softly, kissing the tip of his nose. “Thank you.”

“I don’t want to go back to my cell,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers.

Breaking her heart in the process.

She kissed his cheeks and his lips a few times, peppering kisses to his soft face to make up for it. “We can’t do this again until you’re free,” she whispered.

“I understand.”

“So you better think long and hard about this woman you remember so I can track her down and shove her in that cell instead,” Y/N’s stern voice made him smile.

“Thank you,” he replied again, hugging her the way he promised he would thank her from now on.

—

For being 9 pm on a spring night, it was rather warm in the Vermont parking lot. She left the prison a while ago, not able to leave Spencer’s gravitational pull yet as she sat there, staring at the prison thinking about him alone in his cell instead of pressed against her chest for the rest of the night.

Thinking about the feeling of Spencer’s hands on her body and his tender lips. Her hand over her mouth as she remembered how his bottom lip ghosted over her own, the anticipation was enough to light her on fire.

She took out her phone and called Derek, knowing he would put her on speaker if they were already in bed for the night. Really needing her best friends right now.

“Hey kick-ass, how are you doing today?” Derek’s voice was overly cheery, “Hey!” Savannah added in the background.

“I’m in love with him.”

Chapter 6

She barely slept anymore. Waking up at 6 am every morning without her alarm clock, her heart physically aching to return to Spencer's side after a night without him. She felt like a love-sick school girl, wanting to be with him all day even if they had nothing to say. Just looking at him was enough to make her happy.

A few weeks passed. Weeks filled with smiles and laughter, singing and reading, inside jokes and shared jello cups. She was so madly in love with him, hugging him every morning when he arrived and every night before he left. Keeping her word, kissing him on the cheek every so often instead.

She started a routine of picking up a coffee and a donut for Spencer every single Thursday, worried that he probably thought about his case all night, yet again. Which only kept her up worrying all night about him, wondering if he was doing okay all alone.

Only getting sleep when she remembered that he had a photo of her, his mom, Derek and hank with him. He’d be okay.

She walked into the infirmary to find Jerry and Mike waiting for her with a guard. Mike bleeding all down his face while Jerry held his clearly broken hand.

“You two are going to be the death of me,” she sighed. Putting all her things in her office before coming back to care for them.

She excused the guard, telling him she had it from here. They wouldn’t put up any more fights with her, they looked up to her like a momma bear, and they were her terrible cubs.

“It is 7:33 am, who the fuck did you have to fight this early?” She whisper yelled at them. Not wanting to wake Leo in the care ward, “who is worth this?”

“You don’t want to know,” Mike said under his breath.

“Well clearly he’s not here, is he dead or in violent crimes? If you two fucked up our plan of me helping you during parole next year, I’m going to be pissed,” she tried her best to entice the answers out of them.

“It was Shaw,” Jerry said softly. “He was planning to hurt the new guy, he’s all fake buddy-buddy with him.”

“Excuse me?” She panicked.

“He’s been talking to Milos at night in the locker room, Wilkins lets him out of his cell and into gen-pop,” Mike carried on the story as she tried to clean the blood off his eyebrow.

“What are they going to do to Spence?”

“Spence?” Jerry teased her, poking her side. “I didn’t know he had a nickname already. Why haven’t we met him yet?”

“I’ve kept him locked away to be safe, I’m going to find a way to keep him here at night,” She said softly. “He’s best friends with my brother, I can’t let him get hurt.”

“So you knew him in freedom land?”

She nodded, “a little.”

“All you need is a bandaid,” she changed the subject as she reached into her kit. “And Jerry I’m going to have to set your fingers back in place, if you scream in my face, I will kick you in the nuts.”

They laughed at her fake tuff guy act, never actually being able to hurt them. They were her buddies, giving her a big hug after she finished with them. Getting them both a pudding and telling them to stay put for the day if they wanted to.

Spencer found her in the lab when he arrived, she knew it was him when the door opened, no one else had a passkey to get in. She was writing down some numbers on a chart when he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

She dropped her pen and turned around in his grasp, holding his face in her hands immediately as she pulled him into a quick kiss.

“I thought you said I couldn’t do that again till I’m free?” He asked softly. Kissing her a second time as he finished.

She smiled against his lips, “you’re free when we’re alone.”

He kissed her harder. His hands around her waist as he picked her up slightly. Twirling her around as they kissed, she laughed against his skin. Unable to stop herself from smiling as she held onto him.

She kissed him one last time as he put her down on the floor, “I have a coffee and donut for you in my office.”

“You’re too good to me, Sugar Pie.”

“Anything for you, Honey Bunch,” she bit her lip as she smiled at him again. So absolutely overwhelmed with love for him.

“I actually have a serious question to ask you,” his tone changed, making her concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m still trying to figure out more about that night, and I think I want to try exposure therapy,” he explained. “I was wondering if you’d help me get high, so I can remember what happened in the same mindset.”

“Okay,” she nodded softly. “I can book you in for the night here, say you’re under observation, and I’ll stay here with you.”

“Are you sure?”

She kissed him softly again, looking up at him with a smile after. “If you’re sure about it, I’ll help you. But we need some ground rules.”

“Of course,” he agreed. Letting go of her as she stepped back, leaning against the counter now.

“No kissing, nothing like that, we’ll do it in my office so you can be alone and then later you’ll sleep in the observation room. Leo is in there, he’s harmless and sleeps all night on his morphine anyway,” she explained. “I’m not going to take advantage of you, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s going to be hard to sober up again once you get a taste of euphoria in here.”

He nodded along as she set the rules, “those are good. Thank you.”

“They drugged you with heroin, and while I know where to get some, I’m not letting you do that,” she laughed. “I have Dilaudid in pills and liquid morphine.” Letting him pick his poison.

“The pills will be fine,” he said softly.

“Alright,” she smiled. “And if you want, when you get out I can take you to a meeting? You’ll need to talk to someone other than me, someone who gets it.”

“You’ll stay with me after all this?”

“As long as you let me,” she felt her heart grow 3 sizes at the way his puppy dog eyes stared back at her. “Go have your breakfast and I will come to see you soon, okay honey?”

His smile was glorious, she could feel the love radiating off him as he looked at her. It felt wonderful, knowing at that moment her feelings weren’t one-sided. That he wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. He was going to be good to her.

—

She had mike and Jerry help her move the couch from the break room and into her office, allowing them to meet Spencer, finally. It was awkward at first, two big muscle men telling him how much they also loved their Sugar.

“Should we tell him?” Mike nudged Jerry.

“What?” Spencer asked softly, sitting at his desk on the other side of the room, really not enjoying their alpha energy.

“Shaw, Milos and Wilkins are all secretly buddies, they were planning to hurt you and so Mike and Jerry beat Shaw up in the yard,” she scrunched her face as she explained it, not ready for his reaction.

“How?”

“After they cut that kid's throat, they wanted to get you to run heroin for them. But you ended up in here, we heard them in gen-pop last night saying they wanted to get you,” Jerry explained as he played with the bandages on his hand. “He won't be out of the violent offender's infirmary for a while.”

“Thank you,” he replied to them with a pressed-lipped smile. “I need to call my team about the case.”

That was their queue to leave, Y/N patting them on the back for the help, telling them they could stay with Leo or go back to the yard, she didn’t care. They just couldn’t be in her office for this.

Spencer looked a little pissed off. “I didn’t ask them to do that,” she said, defensively.

“I’m not mad at you,” he shakes his head softly as steps into her space. “You’re the only person I can trust in here.”

She placed her hand on his chest softly, “call Penelope. Take your time on the phone with the team.” She handed him her cell phone, “FaceTime them if you want. See their faces, it’ll be okay.”

He hugged her, a silent thank you. She ran her hands over his back as she pressed her face into his neck. Holding back every instinct to tell him she loved him as she pulled away.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking her phone, “how do I?”

She couldn’t help laughing, “here,” she dialled Penelope’s cellphone number and hit the FaceTime button.

Seeing her beautiful, bright and bubbly face smile as she answered. “Hey! Oh my god, hold on,” they watched as she got up and ran down a hallway.

Spencer was instant giggles and smiles, a side of him she’s never seen before. True, pure love. This was his family, these were his people. She could see herself fitting into his little world one day.

“Guys! It’s Spencer!” She yelled as she ran into another room.

“What’s wrong?” “Is he okay?”

Suddenly she turned the phone sideways to show all his co-workers. “Hi!” He waved to them.

“Spence!” Emily and JJ cheered, “oh you look so good.”

“I feel good, how are you all?” He asked softly, taking her phone and sitting down at his desk.

She watched him softly from the door, slipping out when she saw his attention was fully on his past life. She walked down the hall towards the lab, hearing his laughter through the walls.

—

She placed 2 pills in a plastic cup, taking an apple juice and jello from the fridge for Spencer. She placed it on his desk 20 minutes before his shift ended, giving him a little space to decide when he wanted to. He told her that he get’s cold when he comes down from a high, so she leaves a fluffy blanket and a pillow on the couch before slipping back out of the room.

She returned to the care unit, looking over Leo as he got ready for the night. Administering his meds and wishing him a good night. She closed his curtain, so when Spencer eventually went to bed he wouldn’t be disturbed.

When she finally settled into her office for the night, Spencer was in the dark. Sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. “Hey,” he said softly.

“How are you?” She asked softly. Closing the door behind herself. Locking it and making sure all the blinds were closed.

“It’s going to hit soon,” he said softly. Suddenly embarrassed and closed off, hiding from her as he laid down.

She didn’t want to bother him, sitting at her desk with her reports. The light from the computer is just enough to see what she was looking at. She glanced at him every few minutes to make sure he was okay.

He enjoys it at first, a blissed-out look on his face as his head is tossed back against the couch. She knows the exact euphoria he’s feeling, she understood perfectly why someone would want to escape like that.

Then his face changes as he starts to hate it, he mumbles to himself with his eyes squeezed shut, she could see him gripping the sheets as he tries to force himself to remember.

She’s uncomfortable watching it, feeling like an intruder. She tried to only focus on her work, flipping through emails and Twitter, scrolling through Facebook for the first time in months to preoccupy her mind.

He was like that for at least an hour.

She could hear his teeth chattering as he came down, just like he said would happen. “You okay, honey?”

“Y-yeah,” he tried to speak through the shaking. “C-can we cuddle?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, turning on her desk lamp before joining him on the couch.

She pulled him up into a sitting position, sitting where his head once was and letting him settle into her lap. She ran her hands through his hair, combing through the locks as she shushed him. Running her hand up and down his back in a tender motion, he snuggled into her leg.

“I’m not that high anymore,” he says softly.

“I know, it’s okay if you are. I’m not going anywhere tonight.”

“I love you,” he whispers.

It makes her stop. Her whole body stills at the words, he wanted to clarify so she’d know it wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. She closes her eyes and squeezes them shut, biting her lip as she tries not to burst into tears.

He felt it too.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, “sit up.” She instructs him softly.

She laid down against the couch then, waiting for him to snuggle into her side. Wrapping the blanket around them both as they found the most comfortable position.

“Sorry,” he whispered against the crook of her neck.

“It’s okay, it just feels wrong for me to say it back right now. I feel the same, believe me, Spencer.” She wanted to assure him to the best of her ability. “But you’re still an inmate in my care, I can’t. Not yet.”

“You don’t have to,” he pulled back to look her in the eyes, his own still droopy from how tired the drugs made him. “I’m going to love you regardless.”

She broke her own rules. Kissing him softly, holding him close to her, under the blanket where both their body heat was trapped. She had never felt safer in her entire life.

Spencer only crawling into that bed in the care ward when he woke up to her alarm the following morning.

Chapter 7

There’s someone banging on her office door just a little after 8 am. She was in the middle of putting a new pair of scrubs on over her long-sleeve undershirt, the banging on her door doesn’t stop until she opens the door.

“What?” She yells at them.

It’s Officer Wilkins. “Where is inmate Reid? We have a visitor for him.”

“No one is scheduled to see him today?”

“There is now. Where is he?” The man towered over her. Trying his best to intimidate her.

“Care ward. I’ll get him. You can go wait in the waiting room,” she pushes past him. Watching him stumble as he hits the wall.

“He’s not worth dying over,” he whispers under his breath.

She doesn’t leave Reid’s side as Wilkins attempts to escort him to an interrogation room. Y/N stands in the observation room as Spencer waits, cuffed to the table. Looking through the mirror at each other, only he couldn’t see her. He just knew she would be there.

“Mom?” Spencer’s shocked voice breaks her out of her thoughts as she sees Diana walking into the room.

A dark-haired woman she’s never met before escorting her in. Y/N whips her phone out to take a quick photo before running back to her office as quickly as she can.

Y/N: I need you to check on Cassie, Diana’s nurse. Someone I don’t know just brought Diana to the prison.

She attached the photo she took, setting her phone down to looking through the visitor's logs on her computer. Wanting to know the name of the woman accompanying Diana.

“I’m sorry,” the familiar voice says from her doorway.

She looks up at him from her desk. Wilkins is stepping into her space with a look of guilt, taking his baton off his belt.

“You don’t have to do this,” she backed up against the wall, trying to keep as much distance from him as possible.

“I have to,” his tone changed. Like a personality switch, his eyes darkened as he charged at her.

She ran around the desk, watching him follow. Punching her in the face, causing her to fall back against the couch, she didn’t want him to get on top of her. Dropping to the carpeted floor as he dove onto the couch.

She crawled on the floor towards the door as he tried to get up. Standing as fast as she could, roundhouse kicking him in the face with a grunt. Her foot hit his jaw at just the right angle, rendering him unconscious.

She reached for his cuffs as soon as he hit the floor, “Leo!! Help!” She screamed down the hall.

She heard bare feet running down the hall, followed by the sound of rubber on linoleum. “Sugar??” Mike and Jerry yelled as they followed.

“Watch him,” she insisted once the cuffs were on him. “Hurt him if you have to.”

She took the second pair of cuffs off Wilkins's belt before running out of the room, her lip busted and bleeding down her neck.

She ran down the hall towards Spencer, busting into the room and knocking the nurse to the ground. Struggling to get her onto her stomach, “stop struggling, who the fuck are you?”

“Get off me!” She screamed in return.

Y/N cuffed her and pulled her to her feet, pushing her against the stone wall.

“What is going on?” Spencer stood up, cuffed to the table so he couldn’t help.

“Wilkins just attacked me, Diana wasn’t supposed to be here,” she said over her shoulder in Spencer’s direction. “So I’ll ask again,” she whispered in the woman's ear as she pushed her against the wall harder. “Who, the fuck! Are you?”

“He knows me,” she spat out.

Y/N ripped her off the wall, making her look at Spencer who was shocked, speechless as he tried to remember her face. “Who is she?”

“She told me Cassie was fired, she’s been with me all morning?” Diana tried to explain, slightly freaking out.

“I sent her photo to Penelope, I need a guard,” Y/N said, hauling the unknown women into the hall with her.

—

The prison was put on lockdown as they tried to figure out this security breach. Wilkins and the nurse being held in prison custody as they waited for the BAU team to fly in.

Figuring out that her name was Lindsay Vaughn, Spencer remembered as much as he could about her. How he tried to save her dad, losing him to his carnal need to kill. Lindsay following closely in her daddy's footsteps.

Diana sat at Spencer’s desk, Mike and Jerry stand watch at the door. Y/N was sitting on top of her desk in front of Spencer, it was his turn to run alcohol over her cuts. Holding her face in his hands as he cared for her.

“I'm sorry,” he mouths the words at her. Not wanting his mother to overhear them.

She nods in response, unable to smile as the cut on her lips stings. All things considered, she could have been in a lot worse condition if it wasn’t for Derek and her training.

She wants to kiss him, she can tell he’s looking over her shoulder at his mom. Waiting to make sure she’s not looking before he leans in a little closer.

Pressing their lips together as silently as possible, his eyes still on her’s as they did so. It’s the most tender kiss she’s ever had, “I’m okay Spence,” she said softly as he pulled back.

“I’m still sorry you were dragged into this,” holding her against his chest softly.

From where she was sitting on top of her desk, she placed her head on his chest, holding him as close as she could, his cheek resting on her head. She wrapped her legs around him, not wanting to let him go, ever.

Needing the comfort he brought her, now more than ever.

When Derek and she started training again it was mostly to help her feel safe. To know what to do if it happened again. She didn’t ever expect it to, thinking it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. That she’d learn from it and then she wouldn’t be in this situation again, being punched in the face by a man.

She started to cry, the throbbing pain in both her face and her foot taking over as the adrenaline dissipated, she was too overwhelmed to do anything more. He let her cry against him, rubbing his hand on her back as he kissed her forehead.

She couldn’t wait for him to get out of here, and she was going to leave with him.

—

Derek is the first to burst through the door. Wrapping Spencer up in the biggest hug she’s ever seen him give. Rocking Spencer back and forth in his grasp as he kissed Spencer's cheek a few times.

He pulled back, holding Spencer's face in his hands. Smiling so he didn’t cry, “they’re dropping the charges.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope,” Derek shakes his head adding, “You’re free.” Expecting Spencer to hug him again.

Instead, Spencer turns to Y/N and pulls her into a kiss. She’s startled at first, eyes wide open as Spencer’s hands find her waist and pulls her right up against him.

She can't help but settle against him. Holding his face in her hands as she kisses him back. He picks her up slightly, spinning her around with his face buried in her neck as she yelps.

Everyone in the room watching him celebrate with her in shocked silence.

He placed her back on the ground, kissing her one last time. “You did it, Spence,” she smiles at him.

“We did it.”

She hears someone clearing their throat. Both of them turning to see the Warden as well as the entire BAU team standing in her doorway. But they don’t pull apart, Spencer’s hand stays on her side as they wait to get yelled at.

“I quit,” Y/N said before he could say anything to her, “and I might sue.”

“I’m suing for sure,” Spencer added.

“We’re terribly sorry for the condition of your stay Doctor Reid. And Doctor Y/L/N, I’ll never be able to make it up to you. I’m incredibly sorry for what Wilkins did,” the warden tried to cover his ass from a bureau lawsuit.

“Too late for that,” Emily added. Stepping into the room more. “Doctor Reid will be leaving with us, now.”

“Understood,” the Warden hurried out of the room before any more damage could be done.

Everyone took a turn hugging Spencer then. A handful of them even hugging Y/N as well.

Emily wrapped Y/N up in a hug, rubbing her back the way she would all those years before. “Thank you, you have no idea what he means to us.”

“I think I do,” she laughed against her. “If that’s not weird?”

“Not at all,” she pulled back, looking at Y/N with her big beautiful eyes, her bangs pushed out of the way so she could take a good look again. “You two are good together.”

She smiled, “thanks Em.”

“We need to fill him in on everything, will you stay with Diana?” Emily asked.

“Of course, I’m just going to be packing up some things anyway,” she said as she turned to Spencer. “Have fun with your friends, honey.”

“Thanks, sugar,” he kissed her on the cheek before walking out. Everyone whistling and hollering at the boldness Dr. Reid had developed in prison.

They all filed out after him, she watched the door with a soft smile as they wandered down the hall, Spencer taking them to the break room so they could chat.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Diana’s small voice came from Spencer’s desk.

“Oh, Diana,” she smiled. “Can I give you a hug?”

Diana nodded as she walked over to her, wrapping her up in a hug, much like how Spencer would. She can imagine Spencer’s hugs once feeling like this, imagining him small and shy, holding her slightly. Unlike his more beefy, relaxed form since being in prison.

“He means the world to me too,” she says softly as Diana pulls away.

“You saved him, if he didn’t have you he might not still be my soft and sweet little Spencer,” Diana patted her shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for making him,” she laughed slightly. “He’s a wonderful man, I have a feeling you played a big role in that.”

Her smile was just like his. The smile of a mother, someone who was going to love him forever, maybe she’d love her too. Y/N felt a little emotional, this could be her family one day.

Chapter 8

There was a lot of information to process as she sat at the BAU round table.

Learning the entire plot of some women’s revenge against Spencer, just how much Wilkins and Lindsay were involved, the crazy scheme they planned and how terribly it would have ended if she wasn’t there.

Spencer, on the other hand, was visiting this Cat person in prison. The one who orchestrated it all, the one who was obsessed with Spencer, the love of her life, to the point she might be having his baby. He had some things to settle with her.

He was on edge before he left, going with Derek and JJ while Y/N stayed back with Diana. David Rossi had even offered to let them all stay at his guest house later that night, seeing as Spencer’s apartment was a crime scene.

Lindsay murdered Cassie, leaving her dead body on Spencer’s apartment floor. Ruining the place he was so desperate to return to.

She was a little out of it. Trying to think of everything that happened and everything she would have to do in the next few days. Compiling a list in her mind as the anxiety bubbled in her gut.

She needed a new job and a new place to live. First, she’d have to go back to Vermont to pack, and she’d have to find a way to support her boys on Parole. And Mike and Jerry.

She put her hands over her face and rested against the table. Overwhelmed with everything, her face still hurting, the lights were too much, she was tired.

Then she was crying softly.

“Hey,” Emily rubbed her back softly. “Shhh, it’s okay, what’s wrong Y/N?”

She sat up and wiped her eyes with a small laugh, embarrassed that her kinda ex-girlfriend was comforting her. “I’m stressed?” She answered, not even really sure herself.

Emily smiled while she nodded, looking so different now than she did back when they first met. Older, but in a beautiful way, gracefully becoming who she was always meant to be. “I get it, believe me.”

She remembered Derek saying she ‘died’ once. How they buried her casket and how pissed they were when they found out she was actually alive. Y/N only knew Emily re-born, as they called her.

She was always caring, always wanted to comfort and make people happy. It was the way she coped with hurting them all, but it carried on past the team. It carried on to strangers, victims, sometimes even unsub’s.

And most definitely Y/N.

There was a part of Y/N that wonders what loving Emily would have been like; if it would have felt half as good as loving Spencer. Or would it be better? She’d never really know, but she could imagine it would have been nice.

“How can we help?” Emily asked, still as wonderful as ever.

“I need a new job,” she laughed. “Can Penelope use her mad skills to find a reputable business in need of a doctor around here?”

“Are you moving back to Virginia?” She smiled at the thought.

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded, a smile growing on her face. “I’m kind of attached to Spencer now.”

“Good, maybe Derek can help you find a place, he has like, what 7? Right now that he’s fixing up?” Emily threw out ideas. “You’ll get the ball rolling soon, it’ll all be fine.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For not giving up on him, I know you would never but, I was worried he had lost all hope and you never did. Thank you.”

Emily hugged her again, not saying anything. Y/N knew there was nothing to thank her for, this was a family. They would kill for each other if they needed to.

“Let’s go see Penelope,” Emily replied as she pulled away. Standing and extending a hand for Y/N.

The BAU offices were so interesting, many people running around to get jobs done before the end of the day as the main team chilled. It was like any other office she was in; controlled chaos and hierarchy.

Diana was sitting with Penelope in her office, flipping through a scrapbook while eating a jello cup. It made her smile to see it ran in the family.

“Hey,” Penelope cheered as she noticed them.

“I was just going to ask for some help with something, I see you’re busy,” Y/N awkwardly commented on the situation.

“Oh, we’re not,” Diana said. “I was showing her photos of Spencer. Would you like to see them?”

“I’d love to, um while I’m here, Penelope would you be willing to help me search for a good job?” She asked a lot mousier than Spencer would have if he was asking her for something.

“Of course, what are we looking for?” She wheeled to her main computer, cracking her knuckles as she got ready to look.

“Um, anyone hiring a GP close to here, I’m willing to go all the way to DC for work,” she explained. “I just want a place where I won't get punched again,” she tried to laugh at the trauma.

“The sanatarium is hiring, they’ve got good ratings and not a lot of patient complaints, they’re looking for a physician to care for the elderly members of the program,” Penelope explained as she clicked through screen after screen of info.

“That would be nice,” she smiled towards Diana. “Did you like the one you were at?”

“Oh yes,” Diana mused. “I had many friends there, I miss them and the social aspect. For a bunch of loons, I really loved the company.” She laughed at herself.

“I send the link to you,” Penelope smiled. “Now let me see his little baby bum again that one is my favourite, he’s so funny,” she leaned back in close to Diana.

All the pictures were priceless. Seeing Spencer grow up, page after page, every award and accomplishment displayed proudly. It made her miss her family, the love that a mother could bring to her life.

She got a little emotional, trying to nonchalantly wipe the tear off her cheek as she watched Diana flip a page.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly.

Y/N laughed, “yeah I just miss my mom.” She scrunched her nose so that the tears stayed in, waving her hand in front of her face as she tried to blink the tears back.

“Where is she?” An innocent question opening the floodgates.

“She had cancer,” Y/N cried softly. Not noticing as Emily and Penelope left the room. Giving them a space to bond.

“She died when I was 26,” she explained.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Diana placed her hand on Y/N’s back as she rubbed her softly. “Do you have any other family?”

“My moms are gay, well. After my mom died I stopped talking to her wife, yes she raised me but she hurt my mom too much for me to love her like a parent,” Y/N unloaded her trauma onto Diana, it must be genetic to find comfort in the Reids.

“Spencer never had a father either,” Diana related to her. “After William left it was just us, and Spencer stepped up to being the man of the house. He’s always been thrown into situations where he has no control but he needs to make the decisions. You’re probably the best person he could be with, he doesn’t have to take care of you.”

“Cause I baby him,” she laughed as she wiped stray tears off her cheeks. “He’s pretty wonderful, you did a fantastic job. Both of you did, look at the love you have. This is a perfect family.”

She gestured to the book of photos, seeing the love beaming off Diana’s face as she held a 12-year-old Spencer in her arms. Braces, on his face, thick glasses, long hair. He was adorable.

“You’re welcome to join,” Diana offered softly. “I’ve always wanted a daughter.”

“Why didn’t you?” She asked softly.

“Why have more when you can stop at perfection,” she smiled, the same wonderful smile Spencer had.

“That he is,” she agreed. “Thank you for him.”

“Thank you, I mean it when I say you saved him,” Diana’s serious look making Y/N cry again.

“I know,” she cried. “And I’d do it again.”

In a heartbeat.

—

Rossi had 3 rooms ready for use in his guest house. Only 2 were ever used during their stay. They spent a few nights recovering together, helping Diana into a new routine for a few days while trying to just spend as much time as possible together out in the real world.

Rossi’s property was huge, never-ending even. He had lake access, ponds with ducks, fields and fields of long grass topped with flowers. It was like a dream getting to explore it together.

Happiness hit her like a freight train, smacking her in the chest and knocking the wind out of her.

She blinked and suddenly she had been waking up in Spencer’s arms for a week straight. Going on adventures together, waiting for him with a coffee outside his NA meetings, holding him all night long.

He had a hard time adjusting to a real bed again, it was too soft. He spent most of his time with his head on Y/N's chest, letting her rub his back slowly as she kissed his head, helping him drift off to sleep every single night. Causing her to fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

Every day beside him was a blessing, no longer was he a dog trapped in a cage. He was free, running with her through the fields like wild horses.

She woke up with him still snuggled into her, arm around her waist, legs tangled together, his face right in the crook of her neck. His hot breath on her skin being the thing that finally woke her up.

Absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair, eyes still closed as she woke up. Snuggling her cheek against the top of his head, causing him to pull her in tighter. Both of them slowly coming alive again.

“I love you,” her voice coarse from sleeping with her mouth open, dry as she licked her lips. It was the only thought that came to her mind. Not even realizing it was the first time she’s said it to him.

Spencer kissed her neck softly, “I love you.”

She couldn’t believe the happiness she was feeling, almost positive that even in her saddest moments she still loved him just this much. He was everything, even under all the scares and trauma, he was the most wonderful person in her whole world. And she was beyond blessed to be holding him in her arms.

The sun was barely up yet, having fallen asleep around 10 pm last night, they were up way earlier than they expected. It was so nice, the deep orange light of the morning sun creeping through the window behind the bed.

“Do you want to go watch the sun come up?” She asked softly.

“Yeah,” he nodded softly. Sitting up with her to get ready.

They put on track pants and sweaters and shoes, grabbing a few blankets and heading outside. A few minutes of walking behind Rossi’s house led them towards a beautiful little pond, they laid out 2 blankets over the dew-soaked grass before cuddling on top of it.

The birds were performing for them, the clouds were cleaning into the most beautiful morning blue sky she had ever seen. She couldn’t help herself from holding him tighter against the blanket.

The sun shined on the water, casting beautiful pinks and oranges across the surface as it stretched into the sky. A few ducks followed their mommas in the May morning breeze, quacking in agreement as they swam across the pond. Playing a game of following the leader.

It was a dream, she was sure of it. It was all too perfect to be real.

Including Spencer, he laid there softly underneath her, holding her against his chest as she appreciated the world around them. His attention only on her, even after being locked up for 3 months. He would always choose her.

“I’m so happy,” she said softly. “You make me so happy.”

He kissed her on the forehead, pushing her back against the blanket so he could kiss her whole face as she laid there. Smiling as she held his sides, letting him smother her in affection.

When he finally stops kissing her, he brushes her hair behind her ear. Cupping her face with one hand as he looks at her. The sun casting a vibrant glow on the both of them as they appreciated each other for a moment.

“I don’t know how I made it so long without you,” he finally speaks. “But I never want to do it again.”

“Move in with me?” She replied without a second thought. “I need to find a place here anyway, and I doubt you want to go back to your apartment.”

“I already asked Derek for the place he was fixing on Wilmont, it’s close to the sanatarium, mom wants to be social again,” he filled her in on his plans. “We just have to sign the lease.”

“We?” She teased him.

“I love you,” he reminded her.

“Good,” she smiled as she pulled him into another kiss. “Because I love you, too.”

Spending time with Spencer was intimacy in its purest form. It was a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual love. It was the first time in her life she felt truly in love, not mesmerized by the idea of it.

She trusted him when he said that he loved her. She believed him when held her when he talked to her about his day or the most random things his mind could conjure. When he’d just hold her, enjoying her presence without wanting anything more than just her.

Chapter 9

They arrived in Vermont early on a Saturday morning, heading to her apartment to pack everything up. It was just the two of them this time, flying in together, half asleep at the break of dawn.

Only bringing 1 bag with her essentials for the next 2 days, hoping to pack her whole life into a truck and pray it arrived in Virginia okay.

And she got to show Spencer her space. A personal side of her that he had no idea about. He knew her mind, her feelings, her trauma, but he didn’t know what her personality was really like outside of loving him.

He was surprised by the amount of stuff she had. Wandering around her apartment quietly as she started taping boxes into shape.

Rented white walls enclosed the space when she moved in, not being able to paint them or anything felt wrong to her. So she covered them in photos, artwork and posters. Bringing the space to life with a touch of colour.

Mostly neons, having an affinity for green and purple accent pieces. Not a single shade of blue to be found, getting enough of that at work over the years.

She had plants everywhere, an old record player and a million different albums spread across the living room. Her bedroom was a mess, the closet was even worse. The kitchen would be easy to pack, it was the stuff on the walls she was worried about.

“I’m probably not getting my deposit back,” she laughed as she started taking the paintings down.

“I didn’t know you went to Harvard?” He points at her medical degree on the wall as she takes it down.

“Yeah, let me guess you’re a Yale guy?” She teased him.

He scoffed, nudging her arm lightly. “CalTech and MIT actually, Yale was my safety school.”

“Mine too,” she smiled.

Spencer stood beside her and watched for a minute, “what should I do?”

“Pick an area and pack the way you would if this was your place, I trust you won't break anything.”

“Okay,” he nodded, beginning stacking all her books on the kitchen table.

They worked well together, they knew that already. She put on music, they moved around each other freely. Occasionally singing the words and dancing around to the good ones. It was a lovely day to just open the windows and clean.

Hours passed, pizzas had been ordered and destroyed, boxes filled every corner of the space as her personality was completely ripped from the room. Soon it was just them, a couch and the record player.

She got up and walked into the bedroom to change, feeling sticky and gross from the day. Not expecting Spencer to follow and sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Who knew packing boxes for 7 hours would make you so sweaty,” she jokes as she peels the shirt off her back. Standing in front of him in just her sports bra.

He turns away from her, making her laugh slightly. “Spencer, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He asks as he turns back to look at her.

She nods softly, “do you want to shower with me?”

He’s speechless for a moment, staring at her with an open mouth, “yeah, yes sure.”

She can't help herself from laughing, taking his hand and pulling him into her tiny bathroom. She makes sure they both have a few towels, seeing him awkwardly stand by the door like he’s not allowed to move.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she reminded him. “Go as slow as you want.”

“I want to join you, but just to clean,” he made his decision.

“Alright, I have 3 different shampoos you can choose from,” she smiled, opening her cupboard and letting him pick. He smiled, appreciating how easily she made it a strictly business situation.

She took off her pants, watching him get undressed out of the corner of her eye. They had been much more intimate with each other already, getting naked in front of him shouldn’t have been as nerve-racking as it was.

She turned on the water, making sure it was the right temperature with her foot. She took a deep breath and just took the sports bra off, freeing her boobs after a long day felt amazing, replacing the fear of Spencer seeing her for the first time. She dropped her underwear to the floor and stepped into the shower, waiting for him to do the same.

Before she knew it, he was standing in front of her, naked. She didn’t know how to act, just laughing and smiling at him. He did the same, it felt kinda crazy that they were standing in a shower, butt naked as the water pooled at their feet.

“You have to pull the thingy up,” she pointed at the bottom of the shower behind him. “It might be cold when it hits you, here pull it up and hide in the corner, like I do.”

He followed her instructions, pulling the small silver plug up to redirect the water from the tub faucet to the shower head. Cowering into the corner with her, their chests pressed together as the cold water hit his back, making him gasp as she laughed.

She wrapped her arms around him, leaning against the shower wall as she held him against her, “hi,” she whispered through her smile.

He kissed her quickly before backing up under the stream. She watched the water cover his hair, making it darker as it spread through the long locks. She watched it drip down his body softly, her eyes travelling down as it did.

He had a scar on his neck and all the bruising on his chest was long gone. His skin was so pretty, he only had a small amount of chest hair, but it was the collection of freckles all over capturing her gaze the most. She reached out and rested her hand on his chest, seeing his eyes open as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Sorry,” she pulled her hand back.

“It’s okay,” he laughed slightly. “Here,” he reached behind her for the bar of soap, “if you want to touch me while I wash my hair?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. Reaching for the loofa on the tap behind him, standing directly in his space as she did so.

They switched sides, slowly turning so he would be out of the spray of the shower head. He put shampoo in his hands and rubbed it through his hair while she watched quietly for a moment.

She rubbed the bar of soap against the fabric of the loofa, watching it foam up and fill the small space with a soft cucumber scent. Running it over his chest softly as he massaged his scalp. She was so soft with him, mesmerized by how lucky she was.

He was beautiful and soft. He wasn’t big and buff like Derek, he was just a normal man with a love for chocolate donuts and jello. She ran the loofa over his tummy as she smiled, loving everything about him.

Loving every part actually while trying to avoid both eye and physical contact with specific sections of him. Not knowing if he was okay, wanting to respect his space, and appreciating that he was doing the same with her.

He laughed when she ran it along his side, ticking his armpit as he tried to wash his hair, soap dripping down onto his eyebrow. She reached up and wiped it off his face so it wouldn’t go in his eye.

“Thanks,” he smiled.

“Switch?” She said as she guided him back under the water, his eyes still closed from the fear of getting soap in them. Scrunching his face up in the cutest way.

The water cascaded over his body, washing the soap down him as she watched, her hair not even close to being wet enough to wash yet. She just wanted to watch the show, to look at all of him and appreciate the moment.

He opened his eyes once all the soap was gone, his hair longer than ever as it laid flat behind his ears, he looked so funny without a big curly mop of hair on his head, remembering he said it used to be like this at one point.

“Your turn?” He offered, taking the loofa from her and reapplying the soap to it. “Can I?”

“Of course,” she answered as he slowly ran the material over her.

He was so gentle, she watched his face as he washed over her. Biting his bottom lip in concentration as he covered her chest, arms and stomach, “um,” he tried to speak, she knew what he wanted.

She took the loofa from him and replaced it with a bar of soap, “rub it in your hands for a sec, and then use them it’s easier.”

He did just that, lathering up his hands before he placed them directly on her breasts. She let out a sigh, bordering on a moan, as he held them in his hands, massaging the soap in carefully. Thumbs rubbing over her nipples as he made sure to not miss a spot.

She was in heaven, tossing her head back against the shower wall as he ran his hands over her more. Exploring her as she leaned against the wall.

Down her stomach, past her belly button, washing her hips before dropping to his knees. Using the bar of soap once more to wash over her legs as she stared at him, amazed by the bravery he was showing.

The water getting in his eyes down there, he stood and pushed his hair back out of his face as the water dropped to the floor, “turn around?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” she replied, turning to face the wall.

He ran his soapy hands all over her back, over her shoulders and arms. Paying special attention to her butt, which made her laugh, she was only a little ticklish there.

She was covered head to toe in bubbles, Spencer looked at her with a big grin on his face as he noticed his job was done. Helping her under the water to wash all the soap off.

She lifted her arms to run the water through her hair, feeling her boobs perk up as she did so. Spencer's attention being completely switched to her chest as he watched. “Pass me the gold shampoo bottle?”

“Y-yeah,” he said, grabbing it from behind himself and handing it back to her.

She stepped into his space, pouring the soap into her hand and rubbing it in. “They say if you lather it up it’ll apply easier,” she explained her little life hack as she rubbed her hands together.

Finally running her hands back through her hair in Spencer’s personal bubble. Her boobs pressing against his chest once again. He was breathing heavier as she watched him, hoping soap didn’t make its way into her eye and ruin the moment.

When she finally stepped back to wash the soap out of her hair, Spencer followed, pressing them together once more. Holding her by the waist as she continued to get the soap out.

Once the water ran clean, she rested her hands on Spencer's shoulders. Staring at him as the water ran down her back, his eyelashes covered in water droplets as he stared into her eyes.

He was beautiful like this, just himself.

“Are we ever going to be like a real couple?” He asked softly.

“What do you mean?”

He ran his wet hands over his back as he thought about it for a moment, “I would like to be with you, more than this, but-”

“You mean sex?” She smiled softly, trying her best to not tease him. It was a serious moment, but she loved him too much to see him struggle.

“Yeah, I just don’t know how I’ll react,” he admitted.

“Honey,” she cooed, rubbing her nose against his softly. “Sex doesn’t make us a real couple, first of all. And second, we have all the time in the world, so you take it as slow as you want. We can start little by little, I don’t mind waiting.”

“How do you mean?”

She smirked at him, “have you ever masturbated in the same room as someone else?”

He swallowed sharply, shaking his head softly, “no, have you?”

“No,” she whispered. “But it’s a small step. You can sit beside me, we touch ourselves, nothing overlaps unless you want it to. Ease into it. It would be another easy way to be comfortable with your body around me.”

“Okay,” he agreed.

She reached behind herself to turn the water off, tapping the silver plug with her foot to release the pressure, and stepping out of the shower finally.

—

They dried off, getting into their pj’s before laying on the couch in her empty living room. Listening to the Hozier album that was already sitting on the player and cuddling while their hair dried. Just enjoying each other's company, he was so soft and he smelled amazing, it was so nice to have him in her space.

“Did you still want to?” Spencer cut into the moment.

It made her smile against him, lifting her head off his chest as she went to stand up. “Come on,” she took his hand, helping him to his feet.

She pulled him in close, kissing his lips softly. Only planning to kiss him once, being drawn into his mouth as his hands wrapped around her back.

She held him in return, slowly making her way into the bedroom as they stayed connected, laughing as her back smacked the door frame and then at the way he fell into her bed with her on top.

Her music softly travelled in from the living area, they kept the lights off as they stripped out of their pants and got under the covers.

“How did you want to start?” She asked, turning to face him as she laid against the pillow.

“Can we just kiss for a while?”

“Absolutely,” she smiled, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning in.

She was laying slightly on top of him, holding his face in her hands as she kissed him. His tongue was soft, swirling with hers as they made out softly. He was very handsy, wanting to touch every single part of her once again like he didn’t get enough in the shower.

She spread her leg between his, sitting on his thigh as she rubbed against him. He bit her lip, squeezing her skin at the feeling. “I think I can do it,” he said softly.

“No,” she whispered, kissing his neck before getting off him. “I don’t want to hear I think. It’s a yes or it’s a no.”

“Okay,” he managed to bring reason back into his horny brain.

He took his shirt off, only in boxers beside her, tenting in them slightly. She took off her shirt as well, laying back against the pillow. He watched her breasts the whole time, licking his lips as he leaned on his side.

She ran a hand over her side, cupping her breast and tossing her head into the pillow more. “I’m starting without you,” she teased, her other hand slipping under the band of her underwear.

He laid on his back, bending his knees as he slipped his boxers off, she looked over at him with careful eyes. Genuinely curious about how beautiful he would look rock hard and begging for it.

She didn’t move her hand, just resting it under her underwear to entice him to start. She watched as he stroked himself softly, returning his attention to her smiling face.

She pushed her shirt and underwear off as well, scooting in closer to him so she was pressed against his side. Bending one knee so she could ghost her fingers over the folds as he watched her.

“I want to touch you,” he rushed the words out.

“Okay.”

He reached his left hand over, resting it on her hip before resting his hand on top of hers. She slipped it out from under his grasp, guiding his fingers to her clit as she stretched her legs further apart.

“Yeah, like that,” she encouraged him.

“W-would you?”

“Finish the sentence,” she instructed him. “Tell me exactly what you want.”

“Stroke me, I want it. Yes.”

She wrapped her fist around him, feeling his fingers swoop down to see how wet she was. “Oh,” she jerked her hips against his side, not expecting him to loop the wetness back up and rub her clit again.

He groaned as she stroked him faster, both of them staring at their own handiwork. She was fascinated with how big he was, being able to stroke up and down him so gracefully it was like she was always meant to. She licked her lips as she saw the pearl of precum drip out. Gathering it up with her thumb as she slid back down his length.

He was panting, trying to hold himself back as she kept jerking him off. Lightly touching her clit as all his attention focused on not cuming so soon.

“It’s okay honey,” she whispered in his ear.

Straddling his thigh then. His hand resting on her clit still as she ground down on him. “Is this okay?” She asked.

He nodded, “yes,” biting his lip so he didn’t explode right then and there.

He felt amazing on her, every time her hips ground down her clit rested right between his fingers perfectly to gain the perfect amount of friction back and forth.

She let herself go, bucking her hips and moaning as she stroked him with one hand. Resting the other behind her neck so he could look at her boobs perk up again, sending him so close to the edge he almost jumped out of his skin.

“Fuck,” he gasped. “C-an I?”

“Cum baby,” she gasped. Following her own instruction as she watched the cum burst from him, shooting up over her fist as she stroked him through it. Grinding against him as she whimpered, “fuck, I love you,” leaving her mouth.

Letting go of his dick as he started to whine, she dropped down against him with her face nestled into his neck.

She kissed him, over and over again. Peppering them against his skin for the best orgasm she has ever had.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close against his skin as he came down from the high. His chest heaving as he tried to calm down, only picking up again when she heard the sob.

“Shhh,” she whispered against his skin, letting him hold her tighter against him as he cried. “I love you, honey, it’s okay. I’m here for you.”

She felt the tears welling in her own eyes, overwhelmed with her feelings for him. “I love you so much Spencer,” she cried against his skin, the tears dripping down his neck slowly.

His hands ran over her back, they held each other while they cried.

Everything from the last week finally catching up with them both. They hadn’t taken a moment to talk about any of it, the fact he was even in prison or what happened after. They just moved on, pretending it was fine now.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered finally.

“Me too,” he pressed his hand onto her cheek, freeing her from his neck as she sat up a little.

Both of them still gross from the sex, pressing sweaty foreheads together as they took a moment. “I’m so sorry,” she emphasized, “are you okay?”

“I’m wonderful,” he laughed at the absurdity. “I’m crying because I love you so much.”

“Really?” She laughed too.

He nodded softly. Kissing her nose as she pulled back to look at him better. “I want to touch you but,” she laughed at the mess on her hand and where she rested it on his chest. “Can we pause for one sec?” She couldn’t stop smiling.

The two of them continuing to laugh at the situation as they cleaned up in the bathroom, laughing even harder as she sat to pee like they had been married for a million years already, laughing the hardest when it came out in dribbles from all the laughing.

Going through every emotion in the book as they coped with the insanity together.

Once they were clean they crawled back into bed. Resuming almost the same position as she sat down on his lap, holding his face in her hands like she wanted to. Rubbing her thumbs on his cheeks as he pulled her in closer by her hips.

“Tell me what you’re feeling?” She whispered.

“I’m happy, you saved my life and I can’t believe I get to do this with you,” he explained softly, moving his hands on her back. He talked with his hands, not able to say anything without them moving.

“You’re the best person I’ve ever known, Spencer,” she reassured him.

“Why?” He asked softly. “not in a pity party sense, I just want to know how you feel. You haven’t really told me, I’ve been waiting for you to open up, I thought maybe you were just like that because it was your job, but I want to know you more.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she bumped their noses together. “I don’t normally talk to people, even with Derek I’m really closed off. But I do trust you, and I want to, I just wanted to experience you when you’re free. I wanted to see if this overwhelming ache in my heart would dissipate as I was allowed to love you.”

She didn’t want to cry again. Blinking so the tears rolled back behind her eyes, licking her lips as her head tilted slightly. She just stared at his honey eyes, glossy and blown out. So absolutely beautiful.

“It got worse,” she laughed slightly. “I realized that now that you’re free you don’t have to see me every day, luckily you want to. But, now I think about losing you instead of keeping you safe.”

“Never,” he shook his head, face still cupped in her hands. “I’m never leaving you, you’re going to need a restraining order if you want to break up.”

She laughed, pushing the tears out, finally. Spencer kissed her cheeks, wiping the tears away with his lips. “Okay,” her voice broke as she tried not to cry anymore.

“I love you,” Spencer whispered. “You’re brave and kind, incredibly smart. You’re willing to do whatever it takes for the ones you love, you’re the only person I want to talk to every day.”

“I was going to say that about you,” she pressed their lips together finally, pushing him back against the headboard.

She laid her head on his shoulder, cuddling into him as she sat in his lap, “I have never loved anyone like this.”

“Me either,” he admitted as he pressed his cheek to her head. “Not even with Maeve, or Derek I know he told you.”

“And your mom,” she smiled. “She actually welcomed me to the family, said she always wanted a daughter. It’s nice to have a mom again.”

That broke him, he finally dropped the tuff boyfriend act he was putting up to hear her feelings, crying at his mother and the love of his life being close. She could tell he was a mamma’s boy, they had a bond Y/N wished she could have with someone. The closest she had to a Diana was Derek, as funny as that was.

She let him cry, not prying into it at all. Letting him take control of his emotions and the conversation. She ran her hands up and down his arm, soothing him softly as he held on to her.

“I was so scared,” is all Spencer says.

“I can imagine.”

“No, I mean about my mom,” he corrects her softly. “I thought the second she got her diagnosis that I ruined everything for her. She was going to forget me before I could even find a person to marry, let alone give her grandkids.

‘She was going to forget me,’ echoed in her mind as she wrapped her head around what he was saying. He was more terrified of losing his mother and missing time with her than he was about being in prison. He really put every ounce of his love into his family, it was beautiful.

“I applied to work at the sanatarium,” is how she answers. “They needed a GP and I need a job. This way I can see her every day, and you can go to work or teach or do whatever and know she’ll be okay. And old people seem nicer than cops and criminals.”

“I love you.”

She laughs, kissing his neck softly. “She’ll be okay, we’ll get her taken care of and who knows, maybe we’ll have more answers before a grandkid rolls around.”

It’s a risk, joking about having kids with him already. But she was ready for a life sentence with him, willing to stay in that god-awful prison as long as he was there. Including if he lost his case.

“You’re too good to me.”

“I try,” she smiled. “You’re pretty fantastic yourself, I didn’t just fall in love with your pretty face, sure you’re helpful and do what I say. But I love you because of what’s in here,” she ran her hand over his chest.

He just held her, silence encapsulating the room finally. The record stopped playing in the living room, no one was on the street at this time of night, the world stopped as she laid in his arms.

The Sunday morning sun was going to start coming up as she stayed up in his lap, both of them settling more against the pillow. She had no plans to get off him, he had no plans to separate from her loving embrace.

a/n: still working on an epilogue idk when it'll be done

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[belphies-cuhm-sluht]

I'm sorry if I'm bothering but I cant stop thinking about the brothers reacting to the mcs family accepting them as mcs bf before and after they find out the bro is a demon

The Brothers When MC’s Family Accepts Them As Demons (Headcanons)

These got super long, so I’m gonna put them under the cut. Thanks for the request, this was super fun to do. 

Lucifer 

The amount of stress he had going into this was ridiculous. He didn’t want to meet your family in the first place, he thought it was unnecessary and he would have much rather they not knew that he and you were dating. You insisted though, and he begrudgingly agreed to meet them when you went back up to the human world for your birthday. Everything was going fine until you slipped up and used his full name, and he was honestly… relieved. He had hated the stupid nickname you had given to him… “Luci”. It made him cringe, but nobody really named their child Lucifer, so apparently it was necessary. That one slip though, and he froze up, waiting for your parents to freak out… but they didn’t. Honestly, he wondered if your parents were even listening, but then your dad tried to make a dad joke. “So Lucifer, what was the fall like? Just joking, glad you could join us.” Confused. Kind of worried about your parents judgement, because, of course he loves you and wouldn’t want anyone to get in between the two of you… your parents are just… okay?With you dating a demon? Might need to take the second that your parents didn’t take. 

Mammon 

Not really all for meeting your family, but then again, that could be another way of getting free gifts or money. Definitely decides that he wants to meet them around Christmas, and make sure to let them know that you’re bringing your boyfriend, and that he likes gold anything or just flat out cash. He was nervous, but he wouldn’t let that show. Obviously The Great Mammon doesn’t get nervous, not around some measly humans. But these humans, these humans were important to you, and if he didn’t make a good impression, well… he could handle his brothers talking bad about him, but your family was a whole different thing. Christmas morning seemed to be going along without a hitch, the two of you had decided to just call each other by pet names so his real name wouldn’t slip… that is until his greediness started to show and he started pestering your parents about what he got. You lightly smacked his arm, whispering his name, hoping that your family didn’t hear you. “Oh, Mammon? Like the demon of greed Mammon?” Uhm… why weren’t your parents freaking out? “Don’t worry. We didn’t really know what to get you, so we just decided on money. I’m sure you won’t mind.” He’s on a whole new level of shook. Your family is so chill, he wants to come back for every holiday. 

Leviathan 

Getting him to leave his own bedroom was a job on its own. Trying to get him to agree to meet your family was a whole new level of difficult. There was no need for it, they won’t like him, he’s a loser… he gave all these excuses, and although none of them were true to you, he believed them to be true. You were on the verge of giving up and he saw that, he saw that you were upset about it, and he didn’t want to be the reason for you being upset so he finally said that he would. Only for a day trip though. His anxiety was already through the roof and he didn’t want to be stuck in a house of a bunch of people he didn’t know longer than 24 hours. That was no problem for you though as your family was having a small get together. It was a cookout and there would be a pool and everything, just a pleasant day of family fun. That’s how you sold it to him, and although he was still reluctant, he liked the idea of a pool. So now, here you were, goofing off in the pool. He was pushing you around the pool in a little donut raft, and he decided it would be funny to flip you off of it. You squealed his name when you came up from out of the water, forgetting for a second where you were, and your entire family was looking at the two of you now. “Leviathan… I know I heard that name before… isn’t that that one demon who…” “Doesn’t matter what he is, they’re both having fun. Burgers are up in five minutes, kiddos.” They’re not… shocked? Not running for the hills, having a panic attack. Nope, just burgers. He finally feels like he can really relax now, and that’s all that matters. 

Asmodeus

Pfft, worried? Not him. People love him. Your parents will too, he was sure of it. He was all for visiting your parents, actually, he was the one who brought it up. You were about to visit your mom for her birthday, and he decided that he wanted to come along too, since he’d never met your family before. He felt like you were hiding him and he didn’t like that feeling, so now he was coming to your mom's birthday and he even picked her out a gift. Obviously it was self-care set, but what else was he going to get her? It’s Asmo. Of course, your mother loves him immediately. He’s kind and he’s gentle and soft spoken, and he keeps calling her beautiful. He was a charmer, and everything was going great. The entire party went flawlessly, and you both thought that you’d get through the day without anyone finding out that your boyfriend was in fact a demon. That is, until your mother stopped the two of you for goodbye hugs, and she decided to become curious about his name. “Is Asmo your full name, or is it short for something else?” She was so inquizitive, and you bit your lip, hoping that he’d just agree that Asmo was his name, but, he had no shame. He told her that it was short for Asmodeus, and at first she looked shocked, but then she just shrugged. “Hmm, well… isn’t that something. You two get home safely, and come back soon, okay?” At first he thought that she just didn’t know who he was, but you explained to him that she knew, she just didn’t care. He kind of had a feeling it would happen that way though, so he was just as happy as he was before he came up to visit. 

Satan 

He’ll agree to visit your parents, you don’t have to bribe him, convince him, nothing. He just wants you to call him by his real name. He said he would be on his best behaviour, and that your family would have no reason to hate him unless they’re judging him strictly off of his name, but if that’s the case, then they’re shit anyway and he doesn’t want to associate with them. It was a Fathers Day party, and you were on edge the entire time. Your parents weren’t judgemental at all, but the name, his name alone would freak anyone out. He was a true gentleman, shaking your fathers hand and having regular conversations with him about different books that they’ve read. Things were great, and then dinner came along. Satan and your dad were still talking amongst themselves when he stopped in the middle of his sentence. “You know, Y/N never did tell us your name. Things have just been so busy, I’m sorry about that.” Satan didn’t hold back, he almost too proudly stated his name to your father, like he was expecting some type of freak out. It was your mom who chuckled lightly, shaking her head. “Ah, leave it to Y/N to date Satan. Well, everyone seems happy in the relationship, who am I to judge?” And with that everyone went back to eating. You were more shocked than Satan was, he just seemed really smug now, continuing his conversation with your dad. It felt like a giant weight had been lifted off your shoulders. 

Beelzebub 

Halloween, you chose Halloween. There was candy involved and he seemed excited about it. He was always so sweet and you really felt like you had nothing to worry about with him, how could anyone not like Beel? He was a big teddy bear, an absolute sweetheart. He wasn’t even nervous about meeting your family, and there was no reason for him to be. When he walked into your house everyone greeted him with open arms, warm welcomes, and soft smiles. Honestly, the only thing intimidating about him was his height, but everyone quickly got over that and it even became a sort of joke between him and your dad. “Oh, watch your head there, pal. If Y/N would have told me you were so tall I would have raised the archways a little more.” Dad jokes, and while you were embarrassed whenever your dad said anything, Beel seemed to love it. When snack trays went out, Beel devoured everything almost immediately, and it was only when he had cleared the entire table that he realized what he did, smiling sheepishly at you. Your family was clearly… concerned. Beel decided to take it upon himself to explain everything since you seemed so worried, and his plan was, if they freaked out, he’d just take you back to the Devildom to celebrate Halloween there. It was quite the opposite though, and your mom actually seemed relieved that there was a reason for him eating so much. “That makes so much sense. I was getting worried that someone wasn’t feeding you. Well, you can always come home anytime for dinner, alright?” So happy, he’s so happy. Ends up changing into his demon form for a Halloween costume which amazes everyone. He asks to visit your family at least once a week for dinner now. It’s a second home to him. 

Belphegor

Why visit your family when he can just sleep? Sleep is life. He’ll probably just zonk out at your parents house anyway, but that wasn’t the point. You wanted him to at least meet your parents once. They had asked you to come home, and you had told them before that you had a boyfriend and they really wanted to meet him too. It wasn’t particularly hard to say no to you, it’s just that he didn’t like hurting your feelings, and he felt like it was the least he could do considering he did… kill you once. He really did do his best to stay awake, not for your parents, but for you. He didn’t want you to think he was rude for falling asleep at the dinner table, which almost happened. Once everyone moved into the living room though, he couldn’t help himself. Leaning against your shoulder he slowly dozed off and your mom noticed immediately. “Just like your father, able to fall asleep anywhere and everywhere.” You heard Belphie scoff quietly, deciding that he would throw out a joke about being Belphegor, the Demon of Sloth. Of course, you knew that it wasn’t a joke, and you tensed up, waiting for your mom’s reaction to it. “Oh, well, that makes sense now. Do you need a pillow, or a blanket? A warm cup of tea?” He peaked one eye open, staring at your mom for a second before looking up at you and declining, almost too politely. He was kind of bummed out that your mom wasn’t scared of him. There was no fun in it. At least he got to nap a little longer though, and she brought him a cup of tea anyway, so he was still winning in the end. All is well that ends well.

[supercorpkid]

Pressure, pushing down on me.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader.

Word count: 3035.

Warnings: angst and a small panic attack.

If you want, you can read Under Pressure first, and this one will make more sense.

Things have been - you don’t want to use the word great, so – ok. Fine. Honestly, you’ve seen better days. But it’s not as bad, too. You’ve seen worse days. Things are… going.

Lena has backed off a little. She’s not pressuring you anymore. At least not verbally like she was doing. But the pressure it’s still there, even if it’s not so clearly put out. She told you she wants you to do better. To be better. You know there’s a lot of pressure for you to be this perfect being.

Lillian Luthor once told you, and you remember clearly: I guess you are the perfect specimen after all. And lately that statement is ringing loudly in your head.

They once said you don’t have to be perfect with your power, but then Kara complains when you’re not. She called for backup once and almost seems like she regrets that decision already. And then Lena said you were allowed to make mistakes, but you made the mistake of not focusing on your test and she didn’t quite forgive you for that.

The truth is: they are sending mixed signals.

Kara calls you weak and soft, then cries an apology at your feet.

Lena one day decides she doesn’t trust you enough, and goes through your lab, then she lays your head on her lap and says she’s sorry.

Kara says she is proud of how you’re already using your powers, because when she was your age she wasn’t doing so, but talks about her rule of only letting you go supering at 18.

Lena says she is proud of your powers and of you saving her life, but she always makes it feel like this is only the second most important thing. First is always studying.

They miss all of your school events, then stay besides your death bed for endless nights until you’re feeling better.

They say no one is perfect and no one should try to be, but then they push you until you get to the point of perfection. If being perfect is not important, then why are they always asking more from you when you’ve already given so much?

It’s a game of ‘you should do better’ and ‘you’re doing great’. It’s a push and pull from all sides. It’s mixed signals and confusing messages. It drives you to the edge of the precipice, then pulls you back, right when you’re about to fall from it.

And you felt yourself on top of the precipice all week. And when you heard them talking, you knew they were there trying to pull you back, trying to bring you closer. But this time, for some reason, that didn’t work. You’re still right at the edge, and any small wind might push you down. You can feel it. You can see yourself down in the abyss. You just need the tiniest little push.

And the push comes. Because the push was always going to come, whether they meant it or not.

“Hey!” Kara walks in home, and you look up from your books. Maya and Jamie do the same, and you thank Rao she decided to use the front door and not the backyard door, like she usually does when she flies in. “The squad is here!”

Jamie looks at you trying to hold back the laughter and you shake your head, already embarrassed.

“Ok. We’re not using that word ever again.” You say, making Jamie burst into laughter and Maya chuckles softly next to you.

“BOOOO.” Kara points at you, giving you a thumbs down. “I’m a cool hip mom.”

“Yeah, you are! You tell her, aunt Kara!” Jamie says it as a joke, but Kara totally buys it, throwing her hair from her shoulders.

She comes closer, to see what you all are doing, when the front door opens again and Lena walks in.

“Oh, study session!” Kara says looking at the books, before turning to Lena in the front door, still doing her entire routine before entering the house. “Look love, the squad is studying again.”

“The squad?” Lena holds a laugh, ignoring Kara’s instant pout. “Please Kara, you’re a 48-year-old, you can’t say words like squad anymore.”

“You two are always clipping my wings.” She says making a huff sound and turns to Maya. “Hey, I heard you met Superkid the other day.”

“She actually saved me.” Maya says with the biggest smile. “She is so strong; she lifted a car!”

“Well, I mean, she has super strength. A car weighs the same amount as an apple for her. It’s not that big a deal.” Kara says with a little wink.

A little push.

“Yeah, I know. For her it might not feel like much, but for me it’s huge!” Maya smiles. “Especially because she saved my life.”

A little pull.

“Kara, stop disturbing the girls.” Lena comes to the table, sharing a little smile with everyone. “They don’t need to be distracted right now.” She looks down at your book realizing what it is that you’re studying. “Bien. Allons-y!”

A little push.

“Oh, come on, they look like they’ve been at it for hours.” Kara says, getting an agreeable look from Jamie. “Don’t you guys want to take a break and eat something?”

“I could take a break.” Maya says.

“And I could eat.” Jamie agrees.

You look down on your book. And then up at Lena’s raised eyebrow.

“Um, why don’t you go get something for you guys to eat?” You look at Jamie, who shakes her head agreeing, standing up right away. “I’m just going to look at this verb conjugation one more time.”

“Babe, come on. You got it. Five minutes break, it’s not gonna kill you.” Maya stands up too, but even though Jamie is already looking inside the fridge, she doesn’t leave your side.

“Yeah, kid. Go.” Kara smiles, and you nod. “Go! You got it!”

A little pull.

It’s this constant game of how high can you get, before seeing how far you can fall.

Jamie and Maya leave. French doesn’t. Kara brings you dinner in your bedroom because they don’t want to interrupt your studying. Lena kisses you goodnight and gives you fifteen more minutes before closing your book and going to bed.

Fifteen minutes goes out the window. And then thirty. An hour. Two hours. The entire night. Two minutes before the knock on your door, you lay on your bed. Blurry vision. Not a word in English on your brain anymore.

“Kid, time to get up.” Kara’s voice.

You count five minutes, and close your eyes.

“Come on, babygirl. School.” You hear Lena’s voice and you open your eyes again.

“D’accord. Cinq minutes.” You say getting a chuckle from Lena.

“Très bien, baby!”

This weirdly feels like a push and pull at the same time. You feel your stomach twisting inside you, and you get up, getting ready and going to the kitchen.

“Hey, little one.” You hear Kara’s sleepy voice, and she hugs you, kissing your temple. “You ok?”

“Yeah. Great!” You give her a fake smile. Eyes so tired you feel tears forming on the sides. Kara holds your face with one hand giving you one long inspecting look. Will she see right through you?

“Are you sure? You’re looking a little tired.” She says still holding your face.

“Then stop looking.” You mumble under your breath, but your words slur together and you’re not sure she understood you.

“Well, anyways-” Kara kisses your temple again, with a smile. “Good luck on the test today. We can go for donuts after, if everything goes well.”

If.

“Oh, yes. The exam.” Lena says, coming from behind you. “Text me at lunch break to tell me if it went well?”

If.

One big strong push.

“I-I have to go. Don’t want to get there late.” You throw your backpack over your shoulder. “I’ll fly.”

“Wait, did you eat?” Kara asks, with furrowed brows. Your stomach twists and turns inside you, but you’re not hungry, you’re nauseated. You walk to the fruit bow and pick up an apple. It’s not like picking up a car.

“I’ll eat on the way. See you guys later.” You make your way to the backyard door and leave, flying to the empty street behind your school.

You get there before anyone. And wait twenty minutes sitting on the ground outside, before Jamie arrives.

“Oh my God, you look like shit!” Jamie says with a smile and you roll your eyes.

“Yeah, well. You also don’t look-” You shrug before getting your words out. “Huh, whatever. Too tired.”

“Wow, you’re not even bantering.” She touches your forehead. “Are you sick?”

“Just didn’t sleep.” You sigh. “Ignore me.”

“Kinda hard, but I’ll try.”

You sit on your chair, relentless. Legs shaking, pencil banging on your table, eyes looking everywhere, but seeing nothing at the same time.

“Babe.” Maya calls you, and you look up. “You cool?” You agree with your head. “Did you drink coffee or something? You’re looking very high?”

“I’m ok.” You say, then acknowledge what she said. “YES! Coffee!” She jumps a little from your yell. “I had so much coffee today. But I’m cool.”

“Ok.” She sits behind you, and the teacher walks in ready to give out the exams. Maya squeezes your shoulder lightly. “You got this, ok? Just relax.”

You wish that could pull you back, but you’re already down in the end of the abyss. The whole way there, there’s no pulling you back now.

When the exam starts, your brain refuses to do the same. You just stare blankly down not seeing a word, not being able to move, think or breathe. This paralyzing fear, that any wrong move might ruin everything, takes over you. If you mess this up -or maybe it’s not a matter of if, but of when- when you mess this up, what will happen? Will they still try to pull you back? Will they still feel like you’re doing your best? Will they accept this failed version of yourself? Will they love it?

You lay your head down on your desk, and feel the painful weight of pressure, pressing down on you. Tears roll down your cheeks and you are unable to stop them, no matter how embarrassing this must look for you.

Jamie looks at you next to her. She mouths ‘are you ok?’. You want to scream that you’re not. That you are the opposite of ok. But no words come out. You hold the metal part of the desk, and she sees it bending, and sees how close it is from breaking. How close you are from breaking.

“Mrs. Arquette!” She calls, raising her hand. The teacher wavers, but comes when she sees her desperation. “She’s not feeling ok.”

“Miss Luthor-Danvers, what is going on? Do you need water?” The teacher kneels down next to you trying not to call attention.

You can’t talk. Your hands are shaking on the bent metal. Your tears are falling nonstop. And there’s absolutely no air on your lungs.

“Babe, babe. Talk to us.” Maya asks, stroking your back gently.

The entire class was silent for the test, but now you feel like you could hear a hair pin drop. They’re all staring at you. You’re lying on your desk, crying, while people around you make a big fuss about it.

“Can you get up, Miss Luthor-Danvers? Can you follow me?” The teacher asks again, but still radio silence from your end. You see her looking at Jamie, like asking what to do, since she knows you guys are cousins. “Can you help, Miss Olsen-Danvers?”

“I got her.” Jamie stands up, taking your hand out of the metal bar. She whispers in your ear. “You gotta help me, little-Danvers. I got you, but you need to help me a little.”

She makes you stand, and holds your waist, guiding you out of the classroom. Maya stands up too.

“Miss Rose, please finish your test. Her cousin is with her, she’ll be fine.” You hear the teacher’s voice, and Maya’s protests, but you get out of the classroom and that’s as far as you can walk. As soon as Jamie closes the door, you fall on the floor in a hyperventilating-cry, so desperate Jamie can only hug you.

“I’m here. Hey, I’m here. You’re ok.” Jamie whispers in your ear. “I’m going to call aunt Kara now, ok? Can I call her?”

You don’t answer, so she does as promised. It feels like it’s less than a minute later that Kara is kneeling down in front of you, taking you from Jamie’s arms, and wrapping you up in her arms instead. You hear Jamie telling her everything. Every single thing.

How upset you were over the test, and that wouldn’t let them stop studying until she got home the day before. That you didn’t sleep. That you were trembling, crying, breaking the desk. That she knows you aren’t exactly breathing or blinking. Then she said the actual words, so you don’t have to do it yourself.

“It’s the pressure, aunt Kara.” Jamie points out matter-of-factly. “She might have superpowers, but she is still a teenager. If my moms put this much pressure on me, like you do with her, I would have broken down years ago.”

And you are broken down. You are down the abyss. You are hopeless.

Kara flies you to L Corp. She marches down Lena’s office unceremoniously, holding you like a little baby, all curled up on her arms, sobbing on her suit.

“Baby, hey, can you talk to us?” Kara tries, sitting on the couch, and all you do is curl yourself more around her in a way you can’t even breathe. But that’s ok, because you feel like you’ve been holding your breath for a long time now.

“What’s going on?” Lena asks, stroking your back, back-and-forth in a soothing motion. That only makes you scream-cry harder, hugging Kara so tight, it probably hurts her already.

“She had a panic attack during the test.” Kara says and you blink at the realization. Oh, yes. This is it. That’s what this is.

You can’t see any of their faces, but you know they’re probably doing their weird telepathic communication thing, because Kara doesn’t have to say anything else for Lena to understand.

“Oh no, my baby.” She tries to pull you in, but you’re attached to Kara like a koala bear, and she’s not strong enough to move you. Kara tries pushing you into Lena’s lap, which only makes you hold her stronger.

Push. Pull. Pull. Push. It’s even physical now. The crying doesn’t stop even for a minute.

“Hey, hey.” Kara whispers on your forehead. “Momma is here, little one. I’ve got you. You’re safe. Just breathe for me. Can you do that? Can you breathe for mommy?”

Does Kara still love you? Does she still think this broken version of yourself is worth something? Is it worth her time?

“Ok, there you go.” She says when you take your head out of her chest. “You’re ok, my love. You’re safe. Can you tell me where you are?”

“L Corp.” You whisper, between your tears, and Kara agrees with her head.

“Very good. Now can you tell me something you can hear?”

“Your heartbeat.”

“That’s it, baby. You’re doing great.” She kisses your forehead. “Can you tell me something you can feel?” You feel Lena’s hand moving on your arms, shaking like yours.

“Fear.” It’s what you say, instead.

“Fear?” It's Lena who says it. “Of what?”

“Failing. Disappointing.” You say, and your breath gets stuck on your lungs again. “Not being loved if I’m not who you want me to be.”

It’s between tears that Lena says. “Please, let me hold you. Can mom hold you, babygirl?”

You stop clinging so hard to Kara, relaxing your arms so she knows it’s ok to move you. That’s what Kara does. She gently puts you on Lena’s lap, and you feel her arms wrapping around you, protectively, like she’s holding the most precious thing on her arms.

Does Lena still love you? Despite the disappointment of not having the perfect daughter, but rather this broken version of who you once were? Are you still worthy of her love?

“I promise you, you were never a failure. And you will never be one, my baby.” Lena speaks softly, in a tone you’re not very used to, reserved for only the sweetest moments you two share. “You are the single most important thing in the world for me, and I don’t care about your grades, or school, or science, or powers, nearly as much as I care for your well-being.” You feel her hands moving on your cheeks, cleaning your tears for you. “Who I want you to be is a healthy, happy teenage girl. And I apologize for pushing you to be anything else aside from that, and for pushing my own personal issues down on you. You, my sweet baby, don’t have to be anything aside from yourself for me, for us, to love you profoundly and entirely.”

You breathe. For the first time since the day started, you actually breathe. They do love you. They’re not going to stop loving you.

“Little one, we love you so much, I can’t even put into words how big and extreme this love is. You are everything we could possibly want and much, much more.” You feel a kiss on your forehead, and you smile a little from it. “Whatever it is that happens in your life, we will love you, and support you, ok?”

“Ok.” You look up to both of them, with big teary eyes, and you agree with your head, feeling your heart easing out on your chest. “I love you two very much.”

Kara throws her arms around you and Lena, and you’re sandwiched between your moms, listening to their ‘I love you’, and heartbeats, and sweet reassuring voices until you slowly fall asleep in their arms. You’re loved for who you are. That’s all you want to be. And you know, when you wake up again, you’ll be pulled out of the abyss.

Notes:

Thanks @youngjusticeimaginesus for this other incredible prompt. I love writing angst more than I should.

[sisterspooky1013]

Only One Choice, Part 2, Chapter 16

Read it here on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

May passes into June and they quietly acknowledge that it has been one year since the day Mulder walked into the autopsy bay. They spend their weekends watching movies, making love, and hanging out with the Gunmen, Missy often in attendance as she and Byers become somewhat of an item. Every other Sunday they have lunch with her mother, Mulder meeting Bill by way of an awkward phone call and a promise that they will come out to visit San Diego sometime soon. The moratorium on weekday overnights fades away and the days they spend in each other’s beds begin to outnumber those that they don’t.

One day in early August, Mulder laments how lonely Priscilla gets when he’s gone for the night, crying and following him from room to room when he comes home and plaguing him with guilt. Scully suggests that he bring her over with him, setting up a litter box and food bowl in an unused corner of the living room. Without the daily need to care for a cat, he spends more and more time at her apartment, his suits taking over half her closet and his T-shirts occupying one of her drawers. He still has his fish to feed and so they can tell themselves that they don’t technically live together, though it’s been weeks since anyone slept at his apartment. The excitement of new love gives way to the familiar comfort of domesticity, questions about their lives prior to meeting morphing into what they’re having for dinner and whether someone can pick up toilet paper on the way home from work. They each visit the doctor for a full workup and, everything coming back clear, stop using condoms, relying on the progestin shot Scully goes in for every three months to prevent pregnancy.

Far from boring, they find worthy sparring partners in one another, debating everything from whether the moon landing was a hoax to the merits of String Theory, arguing their points of view passionately before they agree to disagree and then let their clothes fall to the floor. They discover the things they love best about one another; Mulder’s unrelenting curiosity and Scully’s bottomless compassion, as well as those they like the least; his forgetfulness when he’s focused on something and her tendency to shut him out when she’s upset. Whether completing a crossword puzzle together or watching Jeopardy, they embrace the ways that they are different and how they balance one another out; his creativity to her order, her planning to his impulsivity, his acceptance to her skepticism. Yin and yang, tall and small, bold and tempered; there is a completeness in their union that makes them each feel whole.

Even in their intensity and their commitment, Mulder has never again uttered the words ‘I love you’ and Scully has never said them at all. Far from a red flag or a hesitance to be vulnerable, they simply don’t feel the need to express it aloud. She knows he loves her when he drives forty minutes out of his way to pick up her favorite donuts or reads the latest issue of JAMA just so he can discuss the articles with her. He knows she loves him when she indulges him in theoretical discussions on the mating rituals of Sasquatch, not bothering to point out that the creature doesn’t exist, or wastes entire Saturdays watching movies that were bad enough to earn Razzies because he finds poorly made films entertaining.

Scully has never met Mulder’s parents, accepting his explanation that his mother is cold and his father distant, which is why she feels caught off guard when he calls her at work on a Tuesday to tell her that his mother had a stroke, and he is on his way to the hospital. He doesn’t ask her for anything, but she leaves work anyway, approaching the reception desk of the emergency department with a level of calm only a doctor is capable of.

“I’m looking for Teena Mulder, she should have been admitted within the last few hours,” she says to the young woman behind the desk.

“Yes, she’s here,” the woman answers, “but visiting hours don’t start until 4:00 and someone is already with her now. Are you family?” The woman looks at her expectantly.

“Um, no, I’m not,” she replies, not bothering to explain that Tenna Mulder is her boyfriend’s mother, who she’s never met.

“You can take a seat then,” the woman says with a well-practiced smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.

She finds an empty seat and pulls in a deep breath, taking out her cell phone in hopes she can reach Mulder, though cell reception in hospitals is notoriously bad.

“Excuse me, are you Dana?” someone says from a few seats away, and she turns to see an older man, perhaps in his sixties, with receding dark brown hair and tired bags under his eyes.

“Yes,” she replies, eyeing him skeptically as he rises from his seat and takes the one just beside her.

“I’m Bill Mulder, Fox’s father,” he says, offering his hand.

She takes it, scanning him for similarities to Mulder and finding none, other than his complexion and hair color.

“Oh, hello, it’s nice to meet you Mr. Mulder,” she stumbles, a bit confused. As Mulder tells it, his parents are divorced and not on friendly terms.

“Please, you can call me Bill,” he says with a small smile, and she nods. “Fox is with her now, though I don’t think she’s awake,” he offers.

They sit in awkward silence, Scully realizing she has absolutely no information with which to start a conversation. Mulder has told her nothing about his parents, aside from the details relevant to his sister’s abduction. She doesn’t know what Bill Mulder does, or did, for a living, or where he lives. Just when she’s considering going home, Mulder emerges from a set of double doors.

He was clearly looking for his father, but when he sees Scully his eyebrows knit and his chin puckers in relief. She stands and he scoops her up, squeezing her so tight it hurts.

“Thank you for coming,” he whispers hoarsely into her ear.

They part, hands clasped, and he addresses his father.

“Mom just woke up, you can go see her soon, but since Scully is here I’d like to take her back first.”

Scully gives him an incredulous look.

“Mulder, I’m sure your mom doesn’t want to meet me for the first time from a hospital bed,” she pleads.

“I know, but I want you to look at her chart. I just want to make sure that what the doctors are saying is accurate,” he says with desperate eyes, and she nods.

He leads her back through the double doors and into a room where a tall white-haired woman is reclining in the bed, an oxygen cannula tucked under her nose. While she saw little resemblance between Mulder and his father, the likeness to his mother is almost jarring; her stately nose and hooded eyes curating in Scully an immediate fondness for her. She blinks slowly at them, confusion furrowing her brow.

“Mom, this is Dana,” he says, and her expression shifts into one that is slightly pained.

She attempts to speak, one side of her mouth rooting for words that she can’t quite find.

“Hi Mrs. Mulder, I’m sorry we’re meeting under these circumstances,” Scully offers, “I’m a medical doctor, Fox asked me to take a look at your chart, if that’s okay?”

Teena nods and closes her eyes, and Scully goes to retrieve her chart from near the door. After she’s looked it over, they say goodbye and return to the lobby to find Mulder’s father.

“Go ahead, Dad, I’ll see you in there,” Mulder says, and then walks Scully to her car.

“So, what do you think?” he asks as they stand next to her open car door, worry crumpling his features.

“I don’t see anything out of the ordinary, Mulder. Her stroke was significant, you can see that by the degree to which it’s impacting her speech and gross motor function. It shouldn't get any worse, but she’ll need to go through rehab, and likely need some in-home care for a bit until we know the long term impact. It’s very possible that she’ll be able to continue living independently, but not right away.”

Mulder heaves a big sigh and nods. “I’m gonna stay here for a bit, but I think I’ll be home before you go to bed.”

“Of course, whatever you need,” she replies, bringing her palm to his cheek. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. Thank you, again, for coming down here. You didn’t have to.”

“Mulder, of course I did,” she says with concern. “I’ll see you when you get home, okay?”

He kisses her one, two, three times, pulling her close for a beat, clinging to her for dear life.

“I love you,” he chokes out, and she hugs him tighter.

“I love you too,” she replies, her chin tucked tight into the crook of his neck.

When he releases his grip on her, she brings her hands to his jaw, brushing her thumbs over his cheeks.

“We’ll get through this, okay? We’ll figure it out,” she assures him, and he nods tersely.

———

She’s in bed reading, Priscilla curled up on her stomach, when she hears the thunk of the deadbolt.

“Mulder?” she calls out, and he pokes his head through the door.

“I’m gonna take a quick shower, I’ll be in in a minute,” he says, then disappears again.

He returns ten minutes later, shower-fresh and warm. She sets her book aside to envelop him in her arms, his head finding a home on her chest as his arms snake around her ribcage.

“How is she?” she asks as she strokes her fingers through his hair and down his neck soothingly.

“The same,” he says with a defeated tone, “they might release her to rehab tomorrow.”

“And how are you?” she asks, giving his neck a little squeeze.

He groans. “I don’t know. I’ve been thinking a lot.”

“About your mom?”

“No,” he says, propping up on his elbow to look at her, “about life, I guess.”

She lifts her eyebrows expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

“I don’t want to toil away in the BSU for the rest of my life, Scully. If I die tomorrow, what will I have to show for it?”

She frowns at him sympathetically.

“You make a difference in the BSU, Mulder. You help catch murderers, prevent further loss of life. It may not seem like it because you’re so far removed from the people it impacts, but you do.”

He flops back onto the bed, eyes on the ceiling.

“You’re probably right, but it still feels pretty pointless.”

“What would you rather be doing?” she asks gently, rolling on to her side to face him.

“Honestly?” he steals a glance at her before continuing, “investigating The X Files. Making progress in understanding what happened to my sister. Working to expose those who are responsible for the coverup of secret government operations.”

“Maybe you should talk to AD Skinner, try again. Maybe The X files could be reopened,” she says softly, brushing her palm over his arm.

Mulder shakes his head. “Nothing has changed, Scully. They won’t let me operate without a partner and no one wants to work with me.”

“I’d work with you, but that’s against bureau policy,” she says with a small smile, and he looks at her with an affectionate gaze.

“I’m sure you’d have a field day debunking all my work,” he says coyly.

“I would never,” she retorts sarcastically.

He rolls back towards her, pulling her close with her head tucked under his chin.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he says, his voice full of emotion.

“Well you do have me, so there’s no point in thinking about it,” she replies.

He sighs deeply, reaching past her to turn off the bedside lamp, and they sleep.

[einsteinsugly]

Fourth of July, 1999. James's Swear Jar.

James: Okay, Ani had a swear jar for every time Pop swore. Twenty-five cents if he swore, and fifty cents if he swore in front of us. *Holds out a jar* I think it's a great idea.

Jackie: You just want to make some money.

James (disregarding her statement, as he continues): So fifty cents, every time any of you guys swear in front of me.

Jackie: I'm not a guy. I'm a beautiful, sophisticated, and successful woman...

James (with a sigh): You know what I mean. Do I have to make a list? Mom, Dad. Uncle Eric, Aunt Donna...

Jackie: Okay, okay. I get it. Cut to, Fourth of July. Hyde's sitting in a lawn chair, on the back porch. Kelso's standing, leaning against the railing. Jackie's several feet over, getting a drink out of the cooler. Everyone else is in the backyard. Things are quiet, until... Kelso (out of nowhere): So I thought, doesn't Jackie look super hot today?

Hyde (frogging him): Stop lookin' at my wife!

Kelso: I have eyes, okay? And she looks...

Hyde: You make this too easy. *Hits him in the eye*

Kelso: Ow, my eye!

Hyde: Freakin' moron. *Shaking his head* You can't even beat the tutorial level of...

Kelso: That tutorial level of Driver is ridiculous, Hyde!

Hyde: Just like the fact you think you can harass my wife and get away with it.

Kelso: It's not harassing. It's complimenting. There's a difference!

Jackie (sitting on Hyde's lap): Isn't it super hot out today, Steven?

Hyde: Uh huh. You're super hot.

Jackie (with a smirk): Of course I am. You're hot, and Michael's fat.

Kelso: I am not!

Hyde: Lay off the donuts...

Jackie: And maybe, just maybe, can lose some weight. Or maybe you should start Weight Watchers? Because you look like John Travolta. Fat, and ugly.

Kelso (staring at his gut, upset): Damn, Jackie! You sure know how to make a guy feel bad!

James (swooping in like a hawk, from the backyard): That'll be fifty cents.

Kelso (grumbling, taking two quarters out of his pocket): Fine.

Hyde: He's profiting off of Kelso's misery. *Smirking in pride at his son, handing James a five dollar bill* Nice.

James: That's cool, Dad. Thanks. *Raising his voice* Hey Leah. I got some money! You wanna get some ice cream?

Leah (racing over from the backyard): Yeah. *Glaring at Kelso*You owe me fifty cents too. For swearing in front of me, Uncle Kelso.

Kelso: You were all the way over there!

Leah (with a stubborn pout): You were really, really loud. And I'm only nine, so I really shouldn't hear that kind of stuff. So I should get a dollar.

Kelso (clearly guilt-tripped): Damn it! Fine.

Leah (unwavering): Now, you definitely swore in front of me and James.

James: One dollar, please. Fifty cents for each offense.

Leah: Plus fifty cents, because I really shouldn't hear that kind of stuff.

Kelso (trying to get them to leave, handing them the money): Fine.

Leah: Two times, because you swore in front of me. Twice.

Kelso (turning his pockets inside out): I'm all out of money!

James: Back pockets? 'Cause you told me you don't like to put too much money in there, 'cause it distracts from your natural bulge.

Kelso (giving them another dollar): Fine!

James (to Leah): I think we can get some chocolate sprinkles.

Leah (with a stubborn pout): Rainbow?

James: Chocolate.

Leah (exaggerating said pout): Rainbow?

James: Fine.

Leah: Thanks. James and Leah finally leave, leaving Hyde, Jackie, and Kelso in the driveway. Kelso: Your son's a...

Jackie (making sure the kids are out of earshot): Badass, Michael. You put me through a lot, and now, my son can profit off of your misery. Because he's smart, and you're not.

Hyde (to Jackie): Think you mean our son.

Jackie: Oh, when he's a marketing genius, he's my son. You won't even wear a tie when...

Hyde: My business's business casual.

Jackie: Not when you need to dress to impress, Steven.

Hyde: At least I can button my old shirts. Jackie smiles, bringing Hyde close. Despite the heat. Kelso: Uh! Kelso stomps off into the backyard, leaving Jackie and Hyde alone. Cuddling on the lawn chair. Jackie: You're such the obvious choice.

Hyde (kissing her): So are you, doll.

[cobaltusami]

Ayo can I get a lee makoto and ler sakura please?

Hey hi hello! I had so much fun writing this, I fricking love Sakura and I’m always happy to write about her. Thank you so much for this request! :’)

So I went with this random Idea of basically her training Makoto on how to win in a tickle fight, Because ofc she would train him. I’m not sure where the idea of the concussion came from but enjoy I guess? xD

Side note, In this fic, Makoto knows about Kenshiro because he has spent time with Sakura. Not sure If that needed explained but just so you know!

Characters: Lee!Makoto, Ler!Sakura, Implied Lee!Hina at the very end.

Word count: 3230

Makoto came staggering Into the nurses office, holding his head In pain. He sat down on one of the beds after retrieving an ice pack from the mini cooler nestled In the corner of the room.

“Makoto? What happened to you?” Aoi asked curiously from the bed across from his.

He jumped in surprise and quickly brought the cold pack down, trying to obscure It from the swimmer. “M-Me? Oh… Nothing, Just have a headache… What about you? Why are you In here?” He quickly turned the question around on her.

“She twisted her ankle while running. I’m wrapping It for her.” Sakura informed him.

Makoto hadn’t even noticed her until she spoke up.

“Don’t ask how I twisted It.” Hina giggled sheepishly, blushing a little.

“I thought Sakura just said you were running?”

“Yeah but…”

“She was running to the dining hall to get donuts.” Sakura sighed, rolling her eyes fondly at her best friend’s antics. She carefully finished wrapping up the foot In her lap and set It back down. “There, how does that feel?” 

“Better. Thanks Sakura.” Hina beamed, launching herself halfway off the bed to hug the taller girl.

Sakura flinched and quickly caught the athlete before she hurt herself even more. “Try to be more careful, Hina. I swear sometimes you can be such a klutz.” she teased, setting the swimmer back on the bed after giving her a quick hug.

“It’s not my fault, The Floor conspired against me.” Hina giggled.

“What am I going to do with you?” Sakura sighed.

Makoto smiled to himself as he watched the two absentmindedly, forgetting for a moment about the roaring migraine he had going… Until he just thought about it. He winced and put the ice pack back up against his head.

“Makoto, What happened to your head?” The Martial Artist asked, approaching the student curiously.

“I uh, Fell and hit my head.” He lied unconvincingly.

“If that’s the case, You might be as big of a klutz as me.” Hina giggled.

Sakura sighed and knelt on the bed behind him, carefully moving his hand away from the spot on his head. “Let me look at It.”

She moved his hair away from the spot on his head, he winced expecting her to be much more rough but she was surprisingly very gentle. It only stung a little. “Am I bleeding?” Makoto asked after a brief silence.

“No. But you do have a painful looking bump on your head. Put the ice back on that spot.” She instructed as she got up and came around to the other side of the bed.

He did as she told him, wincing as the stinging returned. “So all I need to do Is Ice It, Right?”

She sat down In a stool In front of him. “Yes, For that spot anyway. I want to check and make sure you don’t have a concussion though.”

“I’m sure I’m fine, Sakura. It’s just a bump.” 

“You said you have a headache, Is there anything else bothering you? Are you nauseous? Is there any ringing in your ears?” She asked, brushing off his attempts to put her at ease.

“No.”

“Your eyes are dilated.” She informed him. “Makoto, can you remember how exactly this happened?”

Makoto sat there, staring blankly at the wall behind Sakura trying to think. Honestly? No. He couldn’t. He didn’t remember hitting his head, all he remembered was getting up off the floor and stumbling in here.

He hesitantly met her eyes, slowly shaking his head.

She sighed softly and stood up, going over to the medicine cabinet and retrieving some ibuprofen. She brought It back with some water and set them both down on the table in front of Makoto. “Here, these will help, But you have a concussion so your head Is still going to hurt for a while. You can’t sleep for a few hours so Is there anything I can get you to help you stay awake?”

“Um, No… I’ll be okay. Thank you Sakura.” He mustered up a small smile at her.

“You’re welcome. I’m going to go figure out what happened, I will be back to check on both of you.” She said, exiting the room.

“I’ve never seen Sakura act like that before.” Makoto mumbled once the fighter had left the room.

Hina nodded, smiling. “Yeah, She only acts like that around people she’s close to. She kind of turns into a mom when someone gets hurt.” She giggled a little.

Makoto smiled, looking back at Hina. “Yeah, She kind of reminded me of my mom just now. Except she didn’t yell at me for not being careful.”

“She said she used to mother Kenshiro a lot when he’d get hurt. He always got mad at her for It so she kind of hid that side of herself.” Aoi recalled. 

“I don’t understand why, Obviously It was because She cared about him.”

“I guess tough guys don’t like being worried about.” she shrugged.

As the two continued to theorize and talk, Sakura had made her way to the dining hall where the others were gathered, she sat down next to Mondo and just stared at him for a moment.

“What? Why are you looking at me funny?” Mondo asked, turning to face her.

“Mondo… Did you hit Makoto?” She asked.

“What?? Why the hell would I do that?” The biker replied, making a face of confusion. “I’d only hit him If I was mad at him-- Which I wasn’t.”

“Then how did he get a concussion?” Sakura asked quietly.

“Makoto has a concussion!?” Mondo choked.

Taka whipped around, looking In alarm at them. “What?! Where Is Makoto right now?? I must go check on him--”

“He’s resting, I gave him some ibuprofen and he’s icing his head. He’s fine.” She reassured the strict student.

“We were rough housing and he fell, I went to check on him after a minute but he was gone. I figured he just went back to his room.” Mondo explained.

“It’s true.” Chihiro spoke up. “We were all playing around trying to take Mondo down.”

“Trying and failing.” The tough biker corrected, smirking.

“Don’t remind me, My sides still hurt.” Hiro mumbled.

“Hey I tried to tell you idiots that was a bad idea.” Leon retorted. “Clearly you didn’t learn from watching Taka get wrecked.”

Taka blushed as he felt all eyes at the table on him. “W-What? A leader leads by example!”

Chihiro giggled, shaking their head. “Where Is Makoto? I want to go check on him.”

“Yeah, Me too. I feel kind of guilty.” Mondo agreed.

“He’s In the Infirmary.” She answered. Well, At least she knew what happened now. She took the others back with her, and they proceeded to fill Makoto In on what transpired leading up to him hitting his head.

He was thankful to now recall how he got the concussion, but a little embarrassed that the reason he got the concussion to begin with was because he got tickled by Mondo in a bad spot and went flying into a wall to escape.

He was even more embarrassed that Hina and Sakura now knew that fact as well.

A few days later Makoto approached the Martial artist, She was sitting In the pool area watching Hina swim. “Hey Sakura?” 

Sakura looked up at him, The Lucky student appeared very nervous and shy. “Hello, Makoto. What Is It?”

“Um. I have a question.” He sat down next to her. “You can take Mondo In a fight, Right?”

Sakura gave a perplexed look as she smiled in amusement. “Yes, I believe so. Why? Do you want me to beat him up for you?”

“N-No! Nothing like that…” Makoto stammered. “I just… Um… How? How do you fight him and win?”

“What Is this about, Makoto?”

Makoto sighed. “I want revenge on him for the other day, I wanna be the one to successfully take him down. So how do I win against him in a play fight?”

“By play fight you mean...?” She asked.

“He means a tickle fight!” Hina answered, leaning against the side of the pool near them. “He wants to know how to win In a tickle fight!”

“H-Hina!” Makoto blushed bright pink, feeling ridiculous.

Sakura tilted her head curiously. “Is that true?”

“I-It’s not that I think you just go around getting In… Play fights with people all the time, But I think because you’re such a good fighter you’ll have some kind of strategy.” 

The Ultimate Martial artist actually giggled at this. “Oh how wrong you are… I’ve never won a ‘play fight’. But I’ve seen Mondo get tickled on a handful of occasions so I sort of have a strategy that might help you.”

“You’ve never won one before?” Makoto and Hina asked In unison, confused.

“L-Like Makoto said.” Sakura blushed. “I don’t just go around getting into such silly fights.”

Hina and Makoto exchanged looks, He was incredulous while she was… plotting something. Makoto could tell she was going to get herself in trouble later.

“Anyway, What’s the strategy?” Makoto asked, trying to distance himself from whatever foolishness Hina was plotting.

“Okay so…” Sakura thought for a moment, collecting her thoughts. “Mondo relies on his strength so you have to turn that into a weakness. By moving quicker than him and tripping him up by aiming for his joints. He’s sensitive in the stomach but If he’s as good of a fighter as I think he is, He’ll be guarding any obvious spots so you have to be unconventional and-- Makoto? Are you even listening?”

Makoto blinked. “Y-Yeah of course!”

“Repeat back what I just said.”

The lucky student stammered. “O-Okay, I didn’t take In any of that. I’m sorry! I’m listening. It's just... You’re talking kind of fast.”

Sakura frowned. “Sorry, I have a tendency to do that when discussing fighting.”

“No kidding.” Hina mumbled.

Sakura narrowed her eyes at Hina warningly before turning her attention back to Makoto. “I could try to go slower, But I get too Into talking about fighting and tend to start rambling. It might be better If I just show you and explain as I go.”

“No! Th-That won’t be necessary!” Makoto said quickly, blushing brightly. “It’s okay, I’ll figure something out and--”

“Makoto! Let her help you!” Hina chastised, pulling herself out of the pool and settling on the edge. “If you don’t, I’ll help you. And you won’t like my help… I’m not as gentle.” she warned, glaring at the frightened student.

“It’s okay, Makoto. I won’t hurt you.” Sakura reassured him carefully.

He wasn’t just afraid of getting hurt, He also was super ticklish and didn’t want her to see just how ticklish he was. “O-Okay…” He agreed hesitantly, standing up.

She stood up too. “Okay, So for this part, You’re going to be Mondo.” 

He nodded and took a defensive stance, bracing himself internally.

“You’re going to want to make the first move. Normally with someone larger than you, you want to wait for them to strike first so you can dodge and get your hits in.” She approached him. “But that will be his strategy, so you have to use it to your advantage. Reach your right arm out towards me.” she instructed.

He nodded and did as she asked.

“He’s right handed, so when he goes to reach for you, It’ll be with his right arm. Use your size to your advantage and duck as you get closer to his body. You want to avoid his hand by going under it.”

She walked around to his shoulder. “You’ll want to come back up to full height around here, Because you’re going to grab the collar of his coat when you do.”

Sakura grabbed the collar of his coat to emphasize. “He’s going to be spinning around to reach for you, so you have to keep moving while you have a handful of his coat.” she explained. “Spin around and try to grab me.”

Makoto did as she instructed, spinning around to grab at her but she began sprinting around him, dragging him nearly off his feet with her momentum alone. “Once you do this, Lift up--”

Makoto yelped as he was hoisted Into the air.

“And lean Into him, It’s like a tackle. The momentum of your running and his spinning will take him down with you on top of him. I’m not going to do that because I don’t want to hurt you.” She explained, Instead she gently put him down on the floor on his stomach and knelt beside him.

Makoto sighed in relief upon being set down. “Okay, Then what?”

“You’re going to want to keep your knee In the small of his back to keep him down.” She explained, Resting her hand against the small of his back. “Right about here. Make sure you put all of your weight Into It or he’ll be able to get out easily.”

He nodded, Making a mental note of the spot on his back. “Next?”

“He’ll be face down, So that leaves you with very little options. You have to be unconventional.”

“Unconventional how?”

“The Back, His shoulder blades, anywhere that might produce a reaction.” she explained.

“The back? Are people actually sensitive there…?” Makoto glanced over his shoulder at her inquisitively.

“Yes. Some people more than others.” She responded calmly. “Here, Let me show you.”

She brushed her fingers gently across his shoulder blades, to his surprise he squeaked and dissolved into a fit of giggles. “Okahahahay! Ihihihi seehehe what you mean!” He giggled, squirming around.

Sakura smiled in amusement as she ran her fingers across the back of his ribs. “Are you sure? I want to make sure you fully understand.”

Makoto squealed and began giggling harder, rolling over onto his back to protect it. “Ihihihim sure!” he retorted.

“Well, You wanna make sure you apply enough weight so that Mondo can’t roll over like that.” She said amusedly. “Because If he does…”

Suddenly she began tickling his sides and stomach, causing him to shriek and arch his back as he laughed brightly.

“He will destroy you by aiming for your weak spots.” She said as a matter of fact, no hint of joking whatsoever. Though If he looked at her face, He could see she was smirking.

“SAHAHAHAKURA! NOHOHOHOHO!” He flailed, laughing helplessly as he did.

“Come on, Makoto. This Is training. What do you do In this situation? I’ll give you a hint… I told you earlier.” She said, focusing her efforts on his stomach.

Makoto tried to rack his brain for the solution, but he couldn’t focus thanks to the merciless onslaught of tickles to his worst spot. “I DOHOHOHOHON’T KNOHOHOHOW!” He whined.

“Ooh! I know!” Hina raised her hand as though she was In class. “Aim for the joints, Right?”

“Yes.” Sakura relented her attack. “Whichever side he’s on, Raise the hand closest to him…”

Makoto brought his left arm up, still giggling under his breath as he waited for her instructions.

“And either chop his wrist, Or drive your elbow Into his inner elbow to send his arm away.” She explained. “From there, you should have a clear target. His stomach should be exposed. And he’s really sensitive there so It should trip him up enough for you to get the upper hand.” 

Makoto smirked mischievously. “Really?” Without waiting for her to say anything he darted his hands towards her midsection, But she saw this coming a mile away and caught his wrists. Stopping him with ease.

“Did you honestly think that would work?” Sakura chuckled, pulling the now incredibly nervous boy into her lap. 

“W-Wait! Sakura, I-I’m sorry!” He yelped, squirming. He couldn’t pull his wrists free no matter how much he tugged at them.

“Hmm… I’m not sure I believe you.” Sakura hummed thoughtfully. “I think you’re just sorry you were caught.”

Well, Technically she was right.

“Maybe this would be a good opportunity to teach you about teases. Seeing as though Mondo Is very weak to them.” She smirked.

Makoto’s eyes widened as he froze up. “Nononono! I know all about that! You don’t have to teach me!”

“Are you sure? I said I would help you beat Mondo, and this is a big part of that.” She began dragging her fingers across his side teasingly, making him tremble and giggle.

“Ihihihi’m good! I promise!” He giggled, blushing.

“I think you should tease him anyways! The little shit tried to tickle you. That’s my job!” Hina spoke up, outraged.

Sakura laughed lightly. “That would be the biggest mistake you’ll ever make. I will wreck you too.”

“Well yeah, duh. That’s part of the fun. I’m well aware of the risks.” Hina scoffed. 

“I think you may be a masochist, Hina.” Sakura smiled in exasperation at her friend before turning her attention back to Makoto. “But enough of that, What do you say I give you some good lines to use against him?” 

Makoto shook his head frantically. “Nohohoho!”

“But why not? Don’t you want to win against Mondo?” She hummed, forming a claw with her fingers and attacking his stomach. He screeched and threw his head back laughing. “Aw, Poor baby. Does this tickle~?”

“SAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAKURAAHA! PLEHEHEHEHEASE!” Makoto blushed bright red, burying his face in his arm.

“Please what? Please tickle you more? If you insist.” Sakura teased, vibrating her fingers into his sensitive belly.

Makoto let out another shriek as he laughed hysterically, tears welling up in the corner of his eyes already. “NAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MEHEHEHERCY!” He cried out.

“Do you think Mondo Is going to have mercy on you? Why should I?” she asked, though she did lighten up to just gently brushing her fingers against his exposed stomach.

He laid there in her lap giggling and laughing like a damn fool.

“He’s going to tickle you to pieces and laugh about it.”

“Whahahahat’s your pohohohoint?” He laughed.

She stopped her attack and let go of his wrists, gently putting him back down on the floor. “My point Is, If you make snap judgements and move without thinking of the repercussions, You’ll lose.”

He laid on the floor giggling softly and recovering from the attack. 

“Your advantage In this fight will be that Mondo Is reactionary, He doesn’t think about his actions so you can plan for that. But that’s also your disadvantage. You have to be quick thinking and stay three steps ahead of him if you want to win.” 

Makoto nodded as he sat up. “Thanks Sakura… Do you think I should practice before I try to take him on?”

“It definitely wouldn’t hurt.” She replied.

Makoto glanced up at Hina. At that moment they both lunged at Sakura, Who again saw this coming a mile away. She caught Hina In one arm and Makoto In the other, She pinned their bodies against hers with their arms at their sides so they couldn’t escape. “Seriously? Again?” She sighed.

“Hina why did I let you tempt me Into this!?” Makoto complained, squirming helplessly.

“Hey, You should have known following my lead was a bad idea.” Hina giggled.

“I guess some people learn the hard way...”

“Nononono! Sakura wait! Wahahahahahait!”

“Aieeee! Sahahahahakuraaaa ihihit tihihickles!”

Sakura sighed, What was she going to do with these two idiots? Well apparently the answer Is tickle them nearly to death, Because that’s what happened.

[mirthful-sonnet]

Rise Above the Ashes  | Chapter 3

Summary: Jean and Mikasa find a remedy against their nightmares, Armin has an announcement, and despite the political tensions in Paradis the peace negotiations go forward. 

Notes:  Thanks once again to @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie for beta reading this <3

Warning: None

Ao3

Time was a blur that now consisted of nothing but restlessness and constant visits to the hospital.

That didn’t matter to Mikasa.

A restful sleep was something alien to her. She might as well spend her time beside Jean, trying to make up for yet another failing on her part.

It had all happened too fast, but she knew that the man could have reached her if Jean had not stepped in first. Her thoughts were too muddled, with the quietness of the hospital making the violent scene and Jean’s drug-induced confession echo inside her head.      

I think I even loved you. Since we were trainees.

She was aware that he had a crush on her back then, something she had easily ignored. Yet knowing the depth of it and that he possibly still felt the same brought plenty of surprise and confusion.

Did he still feel the same way for her? No, that was impossible, and she could not bring herself to acknowledge it. Even the thought of doing it terrified her. He certainly showed no signs of remembering his words once he woke up again, and she didn’t expect him to. Not when he was still battling between life and death.

She felt a pang in her chest at the thought of death, at the mere idea of Jean dying. He had proved himself stronger and more stubborn than anyone had expected.

The doctor had described his case as nothing short of a miracle, as one of Jean’s lungs had collapsed and he had caught an infection that led to a critical fever. They had inserted a tube into his chest to help drain the excess blood and air caused by the wounds, and this morning they had finally removed it. While there was still pain, he was alive and that’s what mattered.

During the entire treatment, Mikasa remained by his side.

Jean constantly told her to go home and rest, but she rarely listened, opting to watch over him when Jean’s mother wasn’t around. She took a break from her volunteering at the orphanage and her work passing down messages to the queen. The rest of the group continued their negotiations while she and Mrs. Kirschtein watched over Jean.  

Meeting Jean’s mother had brought her an unexpected sense of inner peace, her warm and caring personality making it easier to confront the guilt and uncertainty that plagued her. It took every ounce of composure to keep her from breaking down and falling on her knees with apologies when she met Mrs. Kirschtein.

The woman had smiled kindly at her, saying that she was happy that Jean had a friend looking after him so thoroughly. The reassurance in her hazel eyes was more than enough to make her feel better. It came unbidden, but she couldn’t help but be reminded of her own mother. The light that had been cruelly snuffed out of her life when her age could still be counted with her fingers.

While she felt a strange ache when watching them, she also liked to see Mrs.Kirschtein still fuss around her son, who could only roll his eyes while hiding a smile, clearly glad to have her present.

She immediately admired the lady, who put on a brave face despite the terror that had almost taken her son away from her. Mikasa had unintentionally witnessed her in such a vulnerable state during the early stages of Jean’s recovery that she had felt like an intruder.

It hadn’t been long since Jean’s mother arrived, having immediately taken the first train that was available to come to the capital with nothing but her garments and a broken heart. Mikasa had just returned but stopped when she saw her beside Jean’s unconscious form through the gap of the room’s door, fitting woolen socks over his limp feet as her only son battled for his life.

“Remember that time you fell down while playing with the neighborhood kids? I held you tight and you kept complaining about how you would be able to learn to take care of me if I kept fussing around you as if you were a baby.” She had said as she fit the blankets around his shivering form, a slight tremor in her voice as if she was trying not to cry. “You were always such a sweet child. Now look at you, a grown man but still getting into trouble. It won’t matter how older you get, because mom will always be here to take care of you.” Mikasa strained to look at the woman’s slouched shape, now crying freely. “Because you are still my little boy, my sun, and my sweet child.”

Mikasa realized then that there were tears streaming down her own cheeks as she watched the grieving mother. With one last glance, she had decided to leave them alone.

Now she was back in front of his room, holding a bag full of extra blankets and a packaged meal. At the same time, Mrs. Kirschtein opened the door to exit, startled at seeing Mikasa.

“Mikasa!” She exclaimed. “How lovely to see you! Although I thought you were back at your house resting.”

Mikasa shook her head, not wanting to explain that she barely got any rest as her sleep was filled with nightmares of blood and unforgiving steel.

“I slept for a good enough time,” she lied, “I figured I could bring more stuff for him. It’s the least I can do.”

The woman’s hazel gaze was gentle, reaching out to grasp her free hand. “My dear, there’s nothing more you could possibly do for my son. You have rarely left his side! Please don’t strain yourself so much, now I’ll have to fret over you too.”

Mikasa could only smile, squeezing back her hand. The bittersweet ache came back as she remembered her mother again, and she wondered if Jean had the same kind of memories with his mom when he was a child. Did she hold him when he had nightmares? Did she sing to the scars on his knees when he fell?

“My son still likes to act all haughty sometimes, but he cares so much. And he is worried for you. We both are.” The older woman added, looking genuinely concerned as she took in Mikasa’s weary appearance.

Mikasa knew the circles under her eyes must have given her away. “I know, Mrs. Kirschtein. I’m just…I care for him too. And this is the least I could do for all the trouble he put himself in for me.”

Her voice had come out weak, as she remembered that this wasn’t the first time Jean had saved her. Mrs. Kirschtein looked at her in disapproval. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, sweet girl. My son told me what you did to that horrible man who hurt him, and I couldn’t thank you enough for protecting him. I have only known you for a few weeks, but I have come to think of you as my daughter. That’s why I’m asking you to take it easy and allow yourself to rest and not worry. If not for Jean, then do it for me.”

Something jolted in her suddenly and she surged forward to hug the older woman tightly, with tears gathered in her eyes and a lump in her throat. She was mildly embarrassed, but the woman’s motherly affection had touched a part of her that had been hollow since she was that wide-eyed child living in the mountains. The older woman had stiffened momentarily at Mikasa’s unexpected reaction, but after a moment she hugged her back just as tightly, happy to offer the girl even just a little bit of comfort.          

                                                          ***

Jean’s coughs echoed along the hallway as he stopped to catch his breath.

“I don’t think this was a good idea,” Mikasa said, her hold on Jean’s hand faltering. He was already recovered enough to walk, but he still had to strain sometimes to breathe properly.

“Hah, don’t worry about this,” Jean managed to get out as he got his breath back and continued walking while holding onto Mikasa.  

“If I spent any more time cooped up in that room, I would have jumped out from the window already. Then we would all be having regrets,” he added, his steps somewhat clumsy but still steady.

The hallway was dead silent, with bluish moonbeams filtering through the windows. The only sounds were those of their steps. Jean had wanted to take a walk since he felt suffocated in his room, and Mikasa insisted on walking with him.

“Stop being morbid,” Mikasa chided him.      

Jean snorted; his breath was still strained. “It comes naturally these days.”

Mikasa looked at him, taking in the weariness permeating the smile on his face. A walking contradiction. There was still no sign of him remembering what he had said weeks ago in his delirious state. She suddenly gripped his arm tightly without noticing and he turned to her, a questioning look on his face.

“Are you okay?” He asked her, his concern evident. It seemed like such a Jean thing to worry over her while he was the one who had been on the brink of death.

“Jean, I…” She trailed off, not really knowing what to say, or how to acknowledge his past confession.  

“What is it?” He asked.

Mikasa paused and then just shook her head, afraid that she would say the wrong thing. “It’s nothing, I just don’t want you to joke like that.”

Jean gave her a small smile and they continued walking. It felt odd to be able to walk like this again, even if his steps were awkward. His days had been filled with medications and therapy, visits from his friends, and the usual nightmares that were forgotten once he woke up and saw that Mikasa was still by his side.

The visits brought him great comfort, whether it was Connie bringing him books to read, Armin suddenly opening a chessboard mid-conversation, Reiner reading letters from Falco and Gabi aloud, Pieck talking endlessly about new spots she had discovered in town, or Annie sneaking in donuts (her favorite treat) for him to eat.    

Right now, he was glad to break from the usual routine even if just for a while, and Mikasa remaining by his side made everything better. He only wished she didn’t feel so guilty or even felt the need to trouble herself so much for him.

Jean almost found their current situation amusing. It seemed that he had spent half of his life wanting Mikasa’s attention while she looked elsewhere, something that he could never resent her for. But now they were here together in the most uncertain of circumstances, caught up in the middle of trying to build a paradise out of a blank canvas.

Armin constantly gave him updates on the progress of the treaty and other legislations that had been approved. Historia also sent him notes notifying him about their progress and wishing him a speedy recovery since she couldn’t come in person. As a monarch, it wasn’t possible, and she had to juggle her favors carefully.

Their efforts had not been interrupted despite the attack, which Jean was immensely relieved about. He knew, however, that they could not let their guard down as it was clear that the hatred from their adversaries would not stop there. His wounded body was now the tangible evidence of that hatred. The culprits were awaiting a trial, and Yeagerist officials had sent a half-hearted apology for what happened.

Bastards.

Now there was an upcoming ceremony for the peace treaty to be signed, which would be highlighted by the first ever air show on the island. A demonstration of peace that also displayed the military and technological advancements that were taking place at a rapid speed in the country.

“Are you sure you’re ready to leave?” Mikasa’s voice interrupted him from his thoughts. She had an unreadable expression on her face.

“Of course, I am. I have gone from breaking a dozen bones to turning into a titan. A knife in my lung is nothing to me.”    

Mikasa was quiet for a moment, pondering on his words. “What was it like?”

“Hmm?”

“Turning into a titan. What was that like?” Mikasa asked as they turned in a corner and faced another hallway.  

Jean paused for a moment until he finally spoke. “I’m not sure I remember exactly what happened. At one point it was just me and Connie holding onto each other, wondering if what we did was enough. And then…it was just nothingness. Some part of me was alive and conscious, but the rest…well, it was like I had no control over myself. I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone.”

They kept walking slowly, their shapes casting shadows on the blank walls. At least in those moments that had seemed final he had not been alone. After the rumbling, he always had his friends with him, the terror they had faced linking all of them permanently. But Mikasa had to bear the weight of the aftermath by herself.

“I bet I looked handsome as a titan,” he tried to lighten the mood.

“I don’t remember. I just took off without so much as a goodbye.” Mikasa muttered.

Jean stopped in his tracks, tightening his hold on her hand so she would look at him. “Hey now, what is this? Nobody can blame you for how you reacted after doing what you did. I don’t think I would have even had the strength to keep going, but you did anyway.”

“But I could have-” Mikasa started.    

“Stop, you’re here with me now, aren’t you?” He interrupted.  

Mikasa wanted to protest again, but something about Jean’s expression made her stay quiet, and she only nodded. Deep down she knew he had a point. Killing Eren had been like tearing out her own limbs, leaving behind an empty shell of a girl, a kite cut off from its string, left to drift aimlessly. But the guilt she felt over leaving her friends behind to face whatever came their way was still there. Even mourning Eren made her feel terrible, as she struggled to reconcile the boy who had saved her with the one who had caused so much destruction and suffering. In a way, being here was a way of atoning for all the time she didn’t spend with the group, who had to face and struggle to fix the outcome of that destruction. But a more selfish part of her just wanted to spend more time near Jean.  

“I do think though,” Jean said as they continued walking, “that you would have loved all the places we visited.”

Jean had told her about them, weaving stories about the cherry blossoms of Hizuru, the vast deserts of the Middle Eastern countries, the icy weather of the northern isles, and the active nightlife at Marley’s emerging cities. There was something extraordinary about how humanity was finding a way to rise back up despite the destruction that happened. There was still a long way to go, but little details like the ones he recounted to Mikasa gave him some hope for the future.  

Mikasa loved to hear about the different places they visited, inevitably thinking about Eren and Armin’s dreams of going outside the walls. At that point in time, she had never taken much part of their dream, happy to simply watch their enthusiasm about the outside world. But listening to Jean’s stories made her feel as if she were treading through those landscapes herself.

“Maybe I’ll see some of those places eventually,” she said, letting him stretch his arms as he walked, still holding onto her hand.

“If by some chance you find yourself lost in a hellhole like Marley’s capital, I have a spare room in my apartment,” Jean commented, taking another pause to catch his breath before continuing to walk.

Mikasa looked at him. “You’ve told me dozens of stories about your travels, but I haven’t heard much from the place you live in.”

Jean was thoughtful for a moment. “The capital city is a nice place. At least right now it is. When I arrived, it was mostly rubble and shelters for refugees. The summers were infernal too.” He told her. “But I did meet some good people there, and everyone worked hard to preserve what was left and rebuild what was destroyed. Despite everything, I think…that I miss it somehow.”

It was true, he didn’t think that he would ever come to think of Marley as his permanent home, but he had still made some memories there that he held dear. The good times, the bad times, the friends, and the lovers he had there, they were all a part of him too.          

Mikasa asked him for more details, and he went on to tell her about all the work they did in the shelters, how he had painted the walls of his apartment when he found them too plain, and the neighbors who introduced him to Marleyan cuisine and the subsequent disaster he had caused trying to cook an octopus. It made Mikasa laugh, picturing a frantic Jean trying not to burn his apartment down.

He also told her about the historical landmarks that survived the rumbling, the capital square that held all the government buildings, the hectic nightlife at the entertainment quarter, and the different dialects and languages he had discovered.

“I was terrible at first,” Jean commented, “I earned a good slap from a girl when I tried speaking to her in her dialect.”

“What did you tell her?” Mikasa asked.

“Something about my privates when I just wanted to ask her name,” Jean replied, his face flushed in embarrassment.

Mikasa stared at him blankly for a moment before bursting into laughter, the sound ringing through the quiet hallway. His embarrassing memory was forgotten as he took her in, not used to seeing her laughing so freely.

“I’m sorry-” she tried to say between bouts of laughter, failing to control it. “Oh no, that’s terrible but so funny Jean!”

She continued laughing until she finally had some control of herself. Then she looked at him and noticed that he was staring at her with something she could only describe as awe.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Mikasa asked between chuckles, her flushed face now matching his despite the darkness of the hallway.

“Oh-um sorry, it’s just that I’ve never seen you laugh like that before,” he looked away, flustered. “It’s nice.”

Mikasa felt her cheeks burn more fiercely and she let go of his hand to go near one of the windows in the hallway, calming herself down. She didn’t remember if she ever laughed like that before. Something about Jean made smiling and laughing easy instead of a struggle.

He was standing beside her now, taking in her reddened face and black hair coming loose from her hair tie. Anyone would say she looked disheveled and tired, but he only marveled at how effortlessly beautiful she was even now. He truly was hopeless, wasn’t he?

“I guess it’s new to me too,” she was still not looking at him. “Your tales, they make me happy.”

“I’m glad,” he muttered, turning to look at the outlines of the city buildings. “All these things I’ve been telling you, the places I have seen and the people I have met… they’re all still standing because of you, Mikasa.”

Mikasa immediately shook her head in denial. “No, I-”

“It’s the truth,” he interrupted, unnerved that Mikasa thought so lowly of herself. “The people that have survived and find a reason to smile and hope every day, the way everything is rising back up even better than before, you made it possible.”

She shifted in her feet, slightly flustered at his open praise. It wasn’t just her. All of them had helped stop Eren, she wanted to say. Plus, her friends were the ones who were working tirelessly to bring peace. But she couldn’t deny the comfort she felt from his words, from the anecdotes that proved that not everything was lost.

“Thanks, Jean,” she simply said, now thinking of something else she had been meaning to tell him but didn’t know how to.

They remained in comfortable silence, looking at the sleeping city before them. Before Jean could tell her that they had to go back, she finally spoke.

“Jean?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve been meaning to tell you something,” Mikasa murmured, twiddling her thumbs. “Since you’re already set to be discharged and will have to follow up your treatment, I was thinking…why don’t you stay at my house?”

She had said the last words too fast, but Jean’s face made it clear that he understood her.

“What? N-no Mikasa, I can’t,” he stammered while shaking his head, “I’ll be fine in my lodgings, I can take care of myself.”

Mikasa felt her heart sink at his words, but she persisted. “I know you can… but they expect you to follow a strict routine and you’re still struggling to even walk and breathe. You’re going to need someone to help you and the rest of the group won’t be able to be there when you need it. Please, Jean, let me do this for you.”

Jean only shook his head again, even if he knew what she said was true. The group would be at the council every day while Armin gave him time off to fully recover. His mom was set to go back to Trost tomorrow after he had convinced her that he was fine and would be looked after, something that was a partial lie since he didn’t really have anyone but himself. They expected him to follow strict medications which was no problem to him, but he also had to dress and clean his wounds routinely while also having to work and do normal chores.          

“Mikasa, I really appreciate it, but I can’t burden you with my condition. I promise that I’ll be fine.” His tone was firm, but the more he denied it the more desperate she became to convince him.

“You’re not a burden Jean. You could never be a burden to me. That’s why I’m asking you to consider it. This isn’t the first time you have put yourself in harm’s way for me. This is…this is the least I can do.”

Jean frowned, a little taken aback that she remembered that he had saved her once before. “What do you mean it’s the least you could do? You have done more than enough for me just by staying by my side. Don’t do this out of pity or just because you feel that you need to compensate me for something. I would take those stabbings a thousand times again if I had to.”

“It’s not out of pity!” Mikasa’s voice was shrill, which neither of them expected, and Jean blanched slightly at her tone. She reached out to grasp his arm and bowed her head, silently apologizing for raising her voice. “I want to help you,” she whispered, “it would mean everything to me if you would let me help you. We agreed that we would always be there for each other, and I meant that. Please let me help you, Jean.”

He exhaled sharply, trying to hold on to even just a sliver of stubbornness, but watching her pleading face made whatever resolve he had finally break.

Jean let out another exhale and finally nodded. “All right…I’ll stay with you, Mikasa.”

The smile that lit up her face made it worth it to him, and whatever protests he still had were quickly forgotten.

“Good, thank you, Jean.” She replied, and he wondered why she was thanking him when she was the one burdening herself for him.  

He stepped forward, unable to help himself, and took a stray lock of her hair, tucking it behind her ear. “I’ll try to be a good guest.”

“As long as no octopus is involved, I’m not worried.” Mikasa deadpanned.

This time it was his laughter ringing through the hallway.

                                                         ***

Life as a soldier had taught Jean to get accustomed to every circumstance possible. So, in that way, Jean easily got used to living with Mikasa.

It wasn’t a big house, but it was enough. He had his own room and it was suitable for the work he would continue to do from a distance.

They fall into an easy routine, a small semblance of normality in a pattern filled with triggers and bad dreams.

He wakes up, the tremors of his nightmares still permeating his body as he helps Mikasa prepare coffee and breakfast, never ignorant of the stiffness in her movements during the early hours of the morning as well. No doubt still stunned by her own nightly terrors. But they are grateful that the worst kind of nightmares are kept at bay for now, and their demons lay forgotten when they greet each other and make small talk over their meal.

Mikasa learns just how stubborn Jean can be, as despite his condition he insists on helping her with every chore around the house. She only relents slightly when it comes to cooking, with Jean making savory omelets that she can’t get enough of.

There are times when her curiosity threatens to get the best of her, where she wants to ask him what he meant by his dazed confession, but she stops herself in time. She pushes it into a hidden corner of her mind to avoid breaking this bubble of comfort - this castle in the sky they were building together.    

Jean on the other hand learned how fussy she could be, a trait he had somewhat noticed back then with Eren and Armin. But now he finds himself as the target of her attention, and it’s a little overwhelming. Amid her attention, he also notices how odd she acts around him sometimes-as if she wanted to tell him something but kept herself from doing so. He didn’t want to pressure her into anything, so he doesn’t question her about it. Instead, he is endlessly grateful; for her watchful eyes when he is walking alone, for the snacks she leaves on his desk as he drowns himself in paperwork, and for her presence in general.  

“I think Mikasa is looking to replace me as your mother”      

Jean grimaced. “Mom, please don’t start.”

“I’m only telling the truth, Jeanbo. She’s been watching over you like a hawk! It’s almost like I’m not needed around here.” His mom said, a teasing undertone in her voice.

“Mikasa has always been protective and she…well she feels guilty over what happened. I don’t know how to make her understand that none of this is her fault.” He sighed; with the book he was reading now forgotten across his lap.

“She’s a caring girl, that one. I am sure she will understand eventually. But for now, just be grateful that you have someone like her in your life, Jeanbo.”

Jean stayed quiet, taking in her words, and then shook his head. “I’ll also be grateful when you stop calling me that and never mention that Mikasa’s my new mom again.”

“You’re right. I think daughter-in-law is more fitting.”

“MOM!”

He was only met with endless laughter.            

It was an extraordinary thing, the solace one could find just by having another person close. Mikasa learns it through the easy rhythm they fall into in the kitchen, the little talks over the table, when they relax in the backyard, with their clothes loose due to the summer heat and faces flushed by the sun; through the endless stories he has from his travels, the concentration in his face when he’s sketching, or just the simple knowledge that he is here, living and breathing. Despite the guardedness that he still shows around her, the glimpses that she does get of his mind make her want to see the world through his eyes. She has always said that the world is cruel and beautiful, but when he is here, she can only see beauty.

There’s a glint in his hazel eyes when he tells her about the places they have been to that brings her an odd type of comfort. It’s one of the many quirks and details she notices about him. Their routine makes it impossible not to notice small details about each other.

He notices that she tucks her hair behind her ear when she’s embarrassed, she notices how the warm honey hues of his eyes can change color depending on the lighting, he notes the secret dimple on her left cheek if she smiles enough, she sees the way he scratches his ear when thinking hard about something, he’s transfixed by how much her grey eyes remind him of passing clouds, and she discovers that there are more scatterings of freckles and moles on his neck and arms.

This last detail she discovers during the daily procedure of changing his bandages. As former soldiers, they have found themselves in similar situations before. But the horrors of war are not around them anymore; now it’s just the both of them in the quietness of her house.

It takes great patience to convince him to let her help him, his protests that he can do it himself eventually drowned out. But when he bares his chest and the map of scars adorning it, she sometimes wonders if this was a good idea at all.

“Gruesome, huh?” He tells her one day, avoiding her eyes as his buttoned shirt lays open.

Mikasa snaps out of her stupor, immediately frowning. “Not at all, I’ve seen worse.”

She goes on to remove the bandages, trying not to wince along with him, as if she could feel his pain somehow. The sighs that escape him as she cleans and rubs the ointment on his wounds make the hairs at the back of her neck rise. There is an inevitable shyness when she sees the toned muscles of his chest and abs, when she visually traces the constellations of freckles and moles that dot the planes of smooth skin, when she sees the beauty that lays under the vestiges of war.

“Will I live to see my grandchildren, Nurse Ackerman?” Jean teases as she finishes up the task.

“Only if you behave, Mr. Kirschtein.” She teases back, pressing down the last new bandage, right over his heart.

Yes, she could get used to this.

It is easy and comforting, their new routine. They fall into it so naturally that they can almost ignore the cracks in the picture.

Almost.

Perhaps they were too hopeful or too confident that they wouldn’t have to hear each other’s night terrors, but that illusion breaks one night in which Mikasa’s screams fill the house.

Jean sat upright in his bed, having just woken up from his own nightmares, with every scream sending a dreadful shiver down his spine.

Nightmares were his nightly companions, and he and all his friends had become quite familiar with each other’s screams. The thought that Mikasa had to go through her nightmares alone pained him. The screams continued until he could not stand it anymore and walked out despite the tremors that were still shaking his body, reaching her room in no time. Her hands were tearing at her hair, and she was screaming Eren’s name in one instance while in another she was wailing for her mother and father.    

“Mikasa, wake up!” He held both of her hands tightly while she still trashed around. After a while, her screams had been reduced to small, broken whimpers. Under his tight hold she opened her eyes abruptly - her confusion clear amongst endless tears, and she suddenly grabbed Jean forcefully by his neckline as if he were a stranger.  

“It’s me Mikasa, it’s me.” Jean whispered shakily, an unbearable tension passing between them before he slowly pries her hands off him.

“Jean?” Mikasa croaked, her voice hoarse from her screams. “I’m s-I’m so sorry, Jean.”  

She could barely finish her sentence before she started sobbing, loud and broken. He remained rooted in his spot, at a loss on what to do and trying to ignore his own tremors, watching the woman he loved and the former soldier he had admired for so long cry her heart out, now listening instead to the cries of a little girl still calling for her parents.

He snapped out of his daze when she grasped at his shirt as if he were a lifeline in a sea of tears. When she turned to look at him, he wondered if it was possible to have your heart torn in two just over looking at another person’s face. She looked so broken that he wanted to somehow gather her inside his heart and let her remain there for as long as she wanted.

“Wh…w…” She tried to make out amongst her whimpers.

“Easy, easy, you’re okay now,” Jean told her gently, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. “What were you trying to say?”

“Why…why does it hurt so much?” She fixed him with her swollen eyes, “Why does it still hurt?”

He wished he had an answer to that. Even after all these years, he didn’t think the pain would ever really stop. So, he thinks he owes it to her to be honest.

“I don’t know, Mikasa.” He said, his voice breaking a little.

She pressed her forehead to his chest, still crying. He takes that as a cue and gently pulls her to him, an embrace that she quickly returns in such a way that they don’t know who is comforting who.

He thinks they must have remained like that for a good while, with him rocking her gently in his arms like a child while she grasped his lower back, trying to stop the tremors that were still shaking him.

The whimpers quiet down, and the tension in her body loosens, so he laid her down on the bed and waited for her to fall asleep. He made shushing noises while stroking her hand, noticing the signs of exhaustion taking over. She is looking at him with a dazed expression before tightening her hold on him.

“Jean?”

“What is it?”

“Can you stay with me?” She asks, her voice sleepy.  

In any other occasion, he would have promptly denied her, deeming it too improper. But watching that look on her face and remembering the terrors that would still await him back in his room made him lose all sense.

Just one night. At least just one.

He gulped and nodded, moving to climb in and get under the covers. The immediate warmth that they feel is overwhelming, and they scramble to get closer as if each other’s touch will be enough to keep the nightmares at bay.

She listened to his heartbeat, its steady pulse lulling her to sleep. His tremors died down under the gentle press of her hand, and he followed her into slumber soon after.

They have their first sleep without nightmares in years.

The moment when she wakes up in the morning is less peaceful in a way. Mikasa shoots up in her bed, feeling an onslaught of confusion and mortification when she remembered what happened.

Jean is fast asleep, his face relaxed and somehow younger, with his arm thrown over her lap. That usual subtle guardedness that he shows now completely shed.

The sight makes her heart hammer wildly and a strange warmth spreads in her chest. Before she can dwell on it or on how much she actually liked having him pressed against her, she bolts out of her room.

She doesn’t really know where she is going but she knows she must get out of there. The cold morning air greets her as she runs out of the house, running and running until she stops, gasping for breath and resting her hands on her knees.

Mist is rolling on the gravel road, revealing the scattered houses of the village in all their simpleness. She lets the coldness settle in, obliterating the heat that had overtaken her.

This was completely unexpected, and she knew it made no sense for her to react this way when she had been the one to coax him into her bed. Yet, she also knows there’s only so much sense you can have after nightmares like theirs. It was expected that they would eventually give in to that urgency, that need to cling to each other.    

A flock of birds snaps her out of her thoughts, the group flying and dipping by her house before disappearing into the nearby woodland. Soon the whole village would be waking up, and she couldn’t stay here only wearing her nightshift. She wraps her arms around herself - a futile attempt to warm herself against the cold morning air and makes her way back to the house.

The smell of coffee invades her senses when she steps in, and she sees him in the kitchen, already pouring coffee into two cups.

There’s a hint of relief in his face when he notices her, and she swallows down whatever embarrassment she still feels and greets him as usual.

He greets her back, going on to ask her what they should make for breakfast. In that way, their shyness lays forgotten and what happened earlier remains unspoken.  

Their routine for the day remains as usual, and the end of their errands sees them relaxing in her backyard like always, lazily talking about nothing and everything.  

When night falls, they’re ready to face whatever horrors await them in their sleep again.

This time, Mikasa is in what appears to be a forest, and it doesn’t take long before she notices that Eren is walking ahead of her. She tries to reach him, but he only drifts away further, occasionally looking back at her, green eyes glinting as if he’s playing a game with her.

The further he gets, the more desperate she becomes. She calls his name, but he gets even further away from her. Always far away, always unreachable.

Soon the woodland disappears, and a steep precipice appears ahead, but Eren doesn’t stop walking. She feels as if her feet are shackled while trying to reach him, and she cries out his name brokenly as he plunges down the precipice and disappears.

Instead of screams, she wakes up with cold shivers and a lump in her throat. Her body is pulled taut like a bowstring as she struggles to gain her breath back, trying to blink away her tears. Her only company was the shadows cast upon her room.  

But she then remembered that she wasn’t alone, not exactly. In another corner of her house, Jean was slumbering, probably fighting off his nightly terrors as well. It was a never-ending cycle, and yet she can’t pretend to not remember the remedy they had found against their demons: each other.

Mikasa had always put on a hard front to everybody, but she is tired, so very tired; she doesn’t want to hide or even think logically anymore. And so, ignoring all sense she stands up and makes her way to his room, her steps only a whisper against the wooden floor.

She shouldn’t have been surprised when she saw him sitting up in his bed already, though he didn’t seem to have noticed her, looking disconcerted. In the dim light, she can see that he is paler than usual and that his eyes are wide with unshed tears. He seems to finally recognize her as she reaches for him and gently wipes away the moisture that was beginning to spill down his cheeks.

There is an unfathomable look on his face as she soothes him, and when she asks a silent question with her own red-rimmed gaze, he pauses and then moves to open the covers for her.

She doesn’t hesitate to climb in.

                                                      ***  

There was childish laughter coming from the large yard.

It was a comforting sight, watching the children of the orphanage go about their day, playing their little games.

Jean could barely remember the time when he was that carefree and innocent, he pondered as he walked with Armin around the establishment.

“Until wintertime then?” He asked, not knowing how to take the information.

“That’s what I’ve been told. They will pick delegates to go to each of the allied nations. Whoever remains here is still unclear.” Armin said as he walked, looking at Jean’s tired expression and keeping a close watch on Jean’s steps as he balanced himself on a cane. He rarely used it but since he had insisted that he was ready to attend meetings he started bringing it with him, the constant walking and touring taking its toll on his body.      

It had been common knowledge that they would need representatives in every nation, but the fact that there was already an established time for him to possibly leave Paradis took him by surprise. There were still months left for winter, and he still hadn’t made up his mind on whether he wanted to stay or leave.

They stopped in a far corner, with Jean leaning against the wooden fence, recalling a distant memory of when he was younger and stood here with his friends. In the distance, they noticed Mikasa walking in the grassy area, inspecting a group of kids who were playing on some swing sets. She noticed both of her friends watching and they waved at each other before she focused back on the children.  

“She’s been quite active here,” Armin observed.

“And yet she still feels guilty for some reason,” Jean said, fishing around his pockets until he found what he was looking for.

Armin narrowed his eyes as he watched Jean lighting up a cigarette. His friend noticed him and groaned. “What? I’ve had to deal with Mikasa scolding me already, you’re going to lecture me as well?”

“You’re still recovering from a punctured lung, Jean.”

“I’ve dealt with worse things,” Jean mumbled, exhaling puffs of smoke. He knew his friends were right, but he couldn’t help it.

He sighed and took another drag. “So, tell me about this airshow, will you? What exactly are they planning?”

“I don’t have anything to do with it, but every delegation is expected to attend of course. The Yeagerists have made sure to spend every penny on the ceremony.” Armin said as he also leaned back against the fence.

Jean snorted. “This whole thing feels like a circus, it won’t be long before they go back on their word, I’m sure.”

“Perhaps, but in the meantime, we do what we can, and what we must. Even the Yeagerists know that we have to depend on each other. Right now, we focus on peace.”

Paradis too was struggling to rise back up, with its damaged borders and the destruction of the ecosystems around the world leading to severe droughts, forest fires, and famine. If the rumbling had gone any further, there was no chance they would have survived. Currently, every country was struggling with the reforestation of their lands and developing new technologies to battle the climate crisis. The treaty would be a milestone in that direction.

“Peace is only relative,” Jean remarked.

“Of course, but we must leverage that peace, be it relative or not. I will always condemn what Eren did, but I think he would want us to take advantage of whatever chances we can take.”

“It’s not like he left us much choice,” Jean spat, and then gave a tired sigh. “But whatever is best for us, I will vouch for that and support you along the way.”

“I know you will,” Armin said, bumping Jean’s shoulder and taking in the circles under his eyes. “I don’t want you to strain yourself too much though. If you can’t attend the ceremony, I will excuse you.”

Jean shook his head, exhaling another puff of smoke. “I will be there. I won’t give those assholes the pleasure of not attending.”

Armin hummed in response. “I hear that there are many other events planned beside the ceremony for the treaty. There are rumors that sweet Vera is coming here to perform.”

Jean looked elsewhere. “I heard that as well.”

Vera was a Marleyan singer and actress who quickly rose in fame all over the continent. Her advocate work with the Alliance was well documented, as she used her cultural influence to help gather supporters and fund numerous causes. Just as her charity work was well known, so was her affair with Ambassador Kirschtein.

He had been assigned to escort her to performances and public speeches linked to their cause. One thing led to another, and it was only a matter of time before they ended up tangled between the sheets. The prospect of seeing her made him feel strange but also happy, as despite their casual flings she had also been a good friend.

“Seem like Paradis is ready to deal with the outside world, and not just through treaties,” Armin remarked.

“Oh, they’ll love her for sure, she stole hearts whenever she went,” Jean said while taking another drag.

“Did she steal yours?”

Jean rolled his eyes. “No one stole anything, she and I made our boundaries clear before we started sleeping together. It was the same for all the other women I’ve been with. They took what they wanted, and I took what I wanted.”

“You think you will ever settle down?” Armin asked.

“I don’t know…especially not after…” Jean stopped himself.  “Ah, never mind.”    

“I’m all ears,” Armin said, looking at him expectantly.

Jean remained quiet for such a long time that Armin thought he wouldn’t say anything at all.

“I’m in love with Mikasa,” Jean finally admitted, feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders.          

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Armin replied, looking at him sympathetically. “Have you tried telling her?”

“What? No, I’ll never tell her,” Jean said, dropping the cigarette and crushing it. “She doesn’t see me that way and I respect that. I’m happy as her friend.”

“You don’t believe that.” Armin had an eyebrow quirked.

“Oh, but I do, the time I’ve spent with her… it has kept me sane in a way,” Jean told him, then shaking his head. “I’m so in love with her it feels ridiculous. I can’t even think about settling down with anyone else even if I know I have no chance with her.”

“Why do you think that? You claim to respect her, but are you really doing that when you don’t even bother to know what she thinks?”

Jean scoffed. “I don’t need to ‘bother’ because I already know what she thinks. Her heart belongs to Eren, that’s a simple fact.”

It was Armin’s turn to scoff. “Eren is dead, Jean. She killed him if I may remind you, and she has always been a full, stronghearted person outside of him. You may love and cherish a memory, but there’s only so much love you can give to a dead man.”

Jean could only look away, staying quiet. Armin followed his tired gaze and found unsurprisingly fixed on Mikasa, who was now spinning a little girl in her arms.

“You may not believe me, but I’ve never seen her this relaxed and happy, not even when we were children.”

“I want her to be happy. That’s all I want.”

“Well, she looks happier than ever to me, and it’s because of you.”

“Don’t make me laugh,” Jean rolled his eyes.

“I’m not trying to make you laugh, it’s just the truth. Take it from someone who practically grew up with her.” Armin insisted. “Besides, I don’t think I could make you laugh with that weary expression you’ve had all day. Have you even slept lately?”

“Mikasa kept me up last night,” Jean replied, before realizing what he said.

Armin looked embarrassed. “She…kept you up, huh?”

“Not that way I- for goodness’ sake, Armin! I would never take advantage of her like that!” Jean exclaimed, blushing furiously while Armin smirked.    

“Care to explain then?”

“We…ah, we’re sharing a bed, it helps with our nightmares,” Jean explained, avoiding Armin’s curious look. “It’s just sleeping I swear, somehow…somehow it makes it easier.”

Armin nodded in understanding, thinking of the solace he and Annie had found with each other in a similar way, though it was also different since their ritual had quickly taken a much more physical level.

“You don’t have to reassure me of anything, whatever you guys do is none of my business,” Armin said. “And I know you would never take advantage of her.”

Jean said nothing, still looking at Mikasa in the distance.  

“But I insist that you must be honest with her.”

“I don’t think so, Armin. Let’s leave it at that.” Jean tried to end the subject.

“I never took you for being such a pessimist. I thought you wanted to be with her since we were Scouts.”

“Even back then I was aware that there was no chance she would ever return my feelings. So, I kept my distance and ignored it. And I-well… I turned to other girls.”

Jean looked embarrassed but Armin nodded in understanding, remembering the times when Jean and Connie would come in late from having explored whatever town they were stationed in and all it had to offer. Their time in Marley had been similar in that regard, with Reiner occasionally taking part in their escapades.

“In that way, I thought I was over her for a long time. It was easy to get distracted by constant missions, carousing, and sex. I should have known my feelings would only come back stronger once I saw her again.” Jean continued, still looking ashamed. “I have accepted that I’m in love with her, but I have also accepted that I’m just her friend, and I’m happy to be that. Being by her side, that is more than enough for me.”  

Armin looked at Jean and saw that he truly meant his words. While he felt bad for his friend, he also couldn’t help his frustration at his resignation.

“You make everything sound so hopeless.” The blond complained, leaning further into the fence.

Jean smiled sadly. “I am utterly hopeless when it comes to her,” he said, “I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it.”

“You don’t have to get over it, you can simply love unapologetically. This world…us and our friends, we have seen too much misery. We owe it to ourselves to try and get some happiness, don’t we?”

“I don’t know if that’s possible… dreams, settling down, having a family, is it all worth it when we don’t know if this so-called peace will even last?”

Armin fixed him with his gaze. “It is worth it every bit,” he affirmed. “I have to believe that because…well, I want to tell you something.”

Jean looked at him curiously as Armin fidgeted with his hands. “I uh…I am planning to propose to Annie.”

A small silence passed between them before Jean’s face broke into pure happiness despite his tiredness.

“That’s-that’s amazing, Armin! I’m proud of you.” Jean said gleefully as he stepped forward to hug his friend tightly and pat his back.

“Hey! I haven’t even asked her yet and we don’t know if she’ll say yes!” Armin laughed, still hugging Jean back.

“Of course, she’ll say yes you idiot,” Jean said. “She looks at you as if the sun shines out of your ass.”

They both laughed before separating, still holding onto each other’s arms. “I don’t know how any of this works, but would you be my best man?”

Jean was already nodding before Armin finished his sentence. “Of course, of course, I’ll do it.”

“Good, because I have no idea what to do after I ask her.”

“And you think I do?” Jean countered, and they both laughed out loud again before continuing their walk, feeling much more at ease than before and enjoying the light breeze. There was still a lot of apprehension clouding Jean’s mind, but for now, he was glad that his friend wanted to take his chance at happiness. A glimmer of hope in the midst of uncertainty. For now, he could be happy about that.

                                                       ***

The planes were flying at a safe distance, yet it felt as if they could graze the onlookers in a heartbeat. There was a cacophony of cheers, music, chatter, and roars from the planes that were flying overhead.

It seemed surreal that this was happening. It was almost as if all the hatred and tension that their visit had brought was broken, now replaced by celebration and merriment. The cheers came and went the same way the steel birds flew and dipped across the blue sky.

Jean had stood on the stage at the town square some hours ago, tall and defiant despite the scars he bore underneath his formal clothing and the cane that signified his survival.

His presence had given everyone much to talk about, some in puzzlement and others in admiration. He gave a speech with no problem and made sure to look at every Yeagerist official directly in the eye as they shook hands, silently telling them that this was his home.  

Now he stood at the edges of the city that overlooked an extensive lake, watching with the members of the delegation as planes flew in unpredictable ways overhead, a sign of progress and more things to come.

He leaned against the railing, looking at the other delegations on the lower levels. Standing amongst the Hizurian delegation was Mikasa, who was also focused on the aerial spectacle while exchanging words with Kiyomi. Even with her small height the Hizurian diplomat still had an imposing presence whenever she went.  

Almost as if Mikasa had felt the weight of his stare, she suddenly turned her head and found his gaze. Normally he would have been flustered but watching the smile that she gave him made him feel calm even in the middle of all the excitement that was happening around them. He smiled back before Kiyomi got her attention again and he turned back to the planes.

The sight of the planes flying and turning across the sky made him feel a small ache as he remembered Hange. He was sure the late commander would have loved this. Her excitement over all things unknown had left a huge gap amongst the former soldiers. Now all they could do was continue their endeavors for peace, just as she would have wanted.

He was hit by a barrage of memories as he watched, also wondering how Levi was faring while also finding reassurance in knowing that he was in good company and getting the rest he deserved. But just as he remembered past recollections, a small hidden memory surged up to the surface of his mind, now clear and prominent.

I liked you Mikasa, you know? I think I even loved you, since we were trainees.                            

No, it couldn’t be.

I wish he was here, I wish I could bring him back. I’m sorry I can’t do anything, I’m so sorry Mikasa…

The strange behavior Mikasa sometimes showed around him now made sense, and Jean suddenly felt as if he were about to vomit, his face blanching.

He had resolved to be Mikasa��s friend and not make things strange between them. But he had failed with flying colors.

With one last glance at Mikasa- who was still engaged in conversation, he backed away and left the compound, ignoring the questioning stares from his friends.

He walked as fast as he could even in his delicate state, immune to the fanfare around him and feeling absolutely mortified.                    

Way to go, dumbass.                      

[supercorpkid]

What the hell, you’re in hell.

Part 2 of T is for Trauma - The Series

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader

Word count: 2040.

Warnings: kidnapping. Injuries. Angst.

Previously on the series – part 1

Things have not yet fallen into place with your moms. Of course that, as a family, sometimes you all say things you didn’t actually give too much consideration and end up kind of hurting each other’s feelings on the way. Most of the time, there’s a big apology, hugging and crying. You haven’t done any of those things during the night, and in the morning, you were kind of late for school so you didn’t have time to talk to them. To be fair, you didn’t even see them since your big blow out.

So, after school you say goodbye to Jamie, and decide to walk to L Corp. Since people are now paying more attention to the sky, you don’t want any more pictures of you flying around for a while. You don’t know how your momma pulls off not being recognized just by using glasses and a ponytail, but you sense you might not be able to do the same.

You’re on your way to L Corp to finally talk to Lena. You know that you hurt Kara too, but you did worse with Lena saying you didn’t expect better from her. That was shitty of you, and you know it.

Sure, there were also a bunch of things that you said that were totally true. Now that you think about it, you were only trying to convince yourself that you didn’t care that they never show up at your science fair, physics decathlon, or anywhere else in the school aside from the principal’s office to hear something bad about you. You don’t know why they stopped doing that when you got older, but not seeing their proud and loving face in a sea of people that hate you, really did a number on you.

Jamie has obviously noticed that this was the reason you left in the middle of the event, and she went all therapist Olsen on you and told you, you should tell them the truth. Tell them it hurts, that you miss them there, and apologize for saying it so aggressively.

So, your plan is talking to Lena first, and then buying some donuts and flying to CatCo right after, so you can talk to Kara. You could never know none of these plans would come true.

You’re walking, when you pass a black van parked close to the sidewalk and you feel something burning in your body. That’s so weird, you’ve only felt like this once. And only when you’re shot with a Kryptonite bullet.

You try to run, but your legs feel wobbly, and you can’t go very far before your legs give in and you fall on the ground. You look behind you, to a guy leaving the van, and going towards you. You take off your glasses to see inside the van, but you can’t see anything.

“Lex was right, Kryptonite always works.” You hear when the guy is in front of you, but you can’t see his face, it is covered with a black mask. You know they have kryptonite, but you have to call your momma for help. You put your hand on the watch and he notices your movement. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, child.” He easily lifts you up by the wrist, and takes the watch out.

He is not just a normal guy. You can see by the way he lifts you up like you weigh nothing. He either has super strength or some other kind of power.

“What do you want from me?” You manage to ask and he laughs right at your face. He walks back to the van, you’re still hanging a few feet off the ground, by the wrist. You look around to see if no one is seeing this clearly evil person carrying a girl to a black van, and your answer is that no one is. And the ones that are, certainly don’t care.

“Why would I want anything from a child?” He throws you in the van and you look around to see the kryptonite. It’s so close to you now, that you feel the burn going inside your bloodstream, and you whimper.

You look outside at the man’s hand, and you see him dropping your watch on the ground. He was smart, not to take it with him, ‘cause Kara could track you with it. Your hand goes instinctively to your necklace, as long as you still have that, Lena can track you.

“What do you have there?” One of the other guys notices your hand and tries to take it away from you. You fight, punching him with all the strength you have left, and he falls back with a hand on his nose. But you can’t fight all three of them, not while being exposed to Kryptonite. So, they snatch the necklace out of your neck and dump it on the street.

“No, please, no. It’s just a necklace, it’s my grandmother’s necklace, please.” You cry out, but they take no pity. They close the van and drive you away for good.

You want to take the high road, you really do. You want to go quietly and pretend that you don’t care about the fact that you’re being kidnapped right now, but if there’s a slight chance that Kara can hear your cry for help, then you don’t really care about taking the high road.

So you cry and you scream. You do everything you can to get help before you’re taken to Rao knows where, but help doesn’t come.

You try to use your x-ray vision to know where they are taking you, but, and you can’t believe you’re thinking this, these kidnappers are kind of smart, because they covered the van in lead, so you can’t see out, and Supergirl can’t see in.

“So you work for Lex Luthor. Why is he sending people to kidnap me?” You scoff, with not so much strength left in you.

“I don’t work for Lex!” He yells looking extremely offended by your insinuation. “He simply gave me some ideas, but I’M the brain of this operation.”

“Ok. Then what do you want from me?” You ask again, not satisfied with the last answer. “If you want to fight, stop the car and I’ll fight you!”

“No offense, but I can’t fight you. You’re like twelve.” Offense very much taken, excuse him. “I can’t fight a kid. And I don’t want to anyways, I want Supergirl.”

“Why?” You should’ve known. You always knew someday you would get into serious trouble because some evil jackasses are trying to get to your momma, but right now? While you’re in the middle of a fight with her?

“You’re too young to understand!”

“I’m not too young!” He scoffs like he is sure you’re twelve and you huff. “I’m sixteen!”

“Boss, you said we were kidnapping a kid.” Says one of the other men, looking at you in shock.

“It’s not my fault she looks so young.”

“So you’re ok with kidnapping a kid, but not a teenager?” You ask one of the guys and he looks back at you.

“Shut up, I think you broke my nose, you stupid shit!”

You open your eyes, and look around. You don’t remember closing your eyes in the first place, so it is very surprising when you open them and find yourself in a low light lit room. The only thing you see clear is a chair, and the ‘brain of the operation’ in it.

“Hello child.”

You want to punch his face so badly, but you can’t. They have you wrapped in chains with kryptonite in the middle. It burns so much you can’t even get up from where you’re lying on the floor.

“How long do you think it will take for Supergirl to find you?” He mocks and you try to use your x-ray vision to find out where you are, but it’s all made of lead. “I do think we made it too hard for her. She can’t track you. She can’t see through lead… I wonder if she will find you before the kryptonite kills you because of over-exposure.”

“Let me go.” You grunt, your voice almost gone and you hear laughter in response.

“Your mother put me in jail for years. I had a child too, you see. Now he is a man, and wants nothing to do with me.”

“Is there where you met Lex?”

“Why are you so interested in Lex Luthor? Oh, yeah. He is your mom’s arch enemy” He tilts his head to look at you. “I told him all about my hate for the Supers, so he gave me some ideas. And I guess he was right. I mean, just look at you. You look like you’re dying and I didn’t even have to hurt you.”

“You shouldn’t follow Lex’s footsteps. He is sentenced for a lifetime.”

“I thought you were dying, but you are way too talkative for someone who’s dying. Should I black you out again?”

“Supergirl will find me and you’re going back to jail to keep Lex company for the rest of your lives.” You growl between your teeth.

“I might. Or you might die first and I’ll have the last laugh. I guess we'll see.” He walks to where you are. “I must say, it’s an incredibly powerful feeling to make a Kryptonian bleed.” He stomps on your head, and you see nothing after that.

When you wake up again, you can taste the blood on your mouth. You feel weak and nauseated, and your ears are ringing loudly. You don’t open your eyes, because you also hear muffled voices. It’s hard for you to make up the conversation with the constant noise in your ear. You focus on the conversation, and try to forget the pain you’re feeling.

“She’s totally green. Look at her. She looks like Shrek.” Laughter. “Maybe she died already?”

Nope, still pretty much alive and suffering, thank you.

“Maybe coming to Gotham was a little much. Supergirl will never find her.”

Gotham? Fuck. He is right, your momma might not find you before you die of over-exposure.

“I’m so bored. Let’s go grab something to eat. She’s either dead or dying, so who cares?”

Well, he is right. You are dying.

You open one eye, the one that was not directly stepped on, and you see you’re indeed alone. Ok, you’re dying, but you’re not dead yet. What can you do?

There’s not much in the dim lit room, or at least not a lot you can make out with your one watery eye, anyway. There is one thing, only one thing that can help you. An old radio system. The best kind.

You force yourself up. Your head is heavy and you barely can’t leave it up. You can’t stand up, so you crawl to it. The taste of blood is strong on your mouth, your stomach is twisting and growling inside, you know you’re minutes away from throwing up all over yourself and passing out again.

You open the radio, you’re not even sure how, do you still have super strength? Is it just poorly made? It doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters right now is that you are able to pass your location to someone.

- - . .. -

-- .. -- .- -.

You press the button a few times and close the shell again, crawling back to the place you were, and laying down while panting because of the pain and the effort. You close your eye, and pray to Rao your message is received by them. You pray they’re looking for you. And you pray you don’t die before telling them you’re sorry for all the things you said, and that you love them more than anything in the universe.

It doesn’t take long until you hear the men coming back to where you are. You stay completely still, and even hold your breath to make sure they don’t notice anything.

“See, I told you. Dumb girl didn’t even move. She dead, man.”

She ISN’T dead. But if she gets out of this, you might be, you stupid shit.

[starryknight09]

Cops eat muffins?

Febuwhump Day 3: imprisonment

Read on AO3.

________________________________________________________

“What’s your parents number kid?”

“Isn’t it supposed to be, ‘you get one phone call?’” Peter asked, using sarcasm to mask his nerves, something he’d picked up from Tony.

“Yeah in the movies.” The cop grunted out, not amused.  Odd.  He almost reminded Peter of Happy.  “Now stop playing around.  Tell me the number.  I don’t have all night.”

“Um…” Peter tried to think quickly.  He really didn’t want to call Tony, his guardian ever since the snap had been reversed six months ago and Peter had found out May had died of cancer in the intervening five years.  Typical Parker luck.  Because as far as Tony knew, he was staying at Ned’s for a quiet night of putting together Legos, not going to some rager in Midtown.  Although to be fair, Peter hadn’t known Flash’s party would get quite so crazy.  Or busted by the cops.

He could call Pepper, but there’s no way Tony wouldn’t find out.  And she’d still have to drive all the way into the city at one in the morning.  He couldn’t call Ned’s parents because he hadn’t seen Ned anywhere around the police station, and Peter knew he’d been up in the bathroom when the party had gotten busted, so it seemed like he’d somehow escaped, and Peter didn’t want to be the one to bust him.  Plus, he was pretty sure Ned’s mom would totally tell on him to Tony.  It was too bad he’d been standing right by the front door when the cops had burst.  Anywhere else and he for sure would’ve gotten away.

“Well?” The cop prodded impatiently.

Who else was there?  Who else?  Who else?  Just when he’d given up and resigned himself to the fact that he was going to have to give them Tony’s number, a genius thought struck him.

“It’s 555-6437.” He answered.

The cop picked up the phone at his desk and Peter fidgeted as he waited in the chair across from him, the place he’d been dumped ever since he’d blown a zero on the breathalyzer test.  Thank god for his fast metabolism.  Any other teenager would’ve failed after drinking three beers.

“And who am I talking to?” The cop asked as he dialed the number.

“Oh um Hap— uh Harold Hogan.”

“Your dad?” The man raised an eyebrow.

Peter nodded.  Sure, why not?  Happy better come through for him.  He owed him after he’d forgotten to pick him after school last week and left him sitting there for hours.  Peter had covered for him and told Tony he’d gone to Ned’s house to work on a project and forgot to let him know.

“Different last name.” The cop stated, but Peter recognized the implicit question.

“I’m adopted.” He answered.  That was actually true.

“Hm.  No answer.” The cop said as he pushed the button to hang up the phone before dialing again.

Shit.  If Happy didn’t answer Peter really was going to have to come clean with Tony’s number.

After another few seconds of ringing, the cop’s eyebrows rose and a bemused expression crossed his face before he said into the phone, “Well I’m sorry to disturb you Mr. Hogan but I’m Patrick McAllister, a cop at the 33rd precinct, and I have your son here, a Mr. Peter Parker.  He gave me your number to call.”

Peter winced.  He could only imagine what was going through Happy’s mind right now.

“No he’s fine.  He was at an underage party where alcohol was being served, so we brought him in, but it doesn’t appear that he was drinking so I just need you to come pick him up.”

The cop paused to listen to whatever Happy was saying.  Peter knew if he concentrated hard enough he could probably listen in but he didn’t really want to know.

“Yes, the address is…”

Peter stared at his shoes as the cop told Happy where to pick him up.  At least that meant the man was coming and maybe he could salvage this without Tony finding out.

“Your dad’s on his way.” The cop said as he hung up the phone.  “Said he should be here in fifteen minutes.”

“Great.” Peter said without enthusiasm.  “So...are you going to put me in my cell now?”

The cop barked out a surprised laugh.

“What?” Peter asked, annoyed.

“Why would I put you in a cell?” The man asked, looking like he was working to hold back more laughter. Really, Peter didn’t think the question was that funny.

“Because I’m arrested.  I’m being imprisoned against my will.  Don’t you usually put people behind bars for that?” Peter explained dryly.

The cop burst out laughing.

Peter frowned.

“Man, you watch too much TV kid.” He said a moment later as he wiped at the tears in his eyes.

Peter crossed his arms, feeling defensive.  No one liked being laughed at, and he, in particular, never liked being treated like an idiot.

“Did I take your fingerprints?” The cop asked.

“No.”

“Your mugshot?”

Peter shook his head.

“Then why do you think you’re arrested?”

Peter blinked.  “Because I’m…here?”

The cop smirked.  “Did you break any laws?”

“I was at the party…”

“True but that’s not against the law.  You weren’t drinking and you weren’t providing alcohol to minors.”

Peter frowned.  That first part wasn’t exactly true but he wasn’t about to admit that.  “So if I’m not arrested, why can’t I just leave?”

“It’s against policy.  Can’t release minors without a legal guardian.”

Peter’s jaw dropped.  “So I’m going to get in trouble for nothing?”

“Tough break kid.” The cop shrugged, but Peter could see the glint of amusement in his eyes.  He was clearly loving this.  Well, at least someone was having a good night.

The cop seemed to sense his stormy mood.  He picked up the open cardboard box on his desk and held it out.  “Want a muffin?”

Peter eyed the assortment of chocolate, blueberry, and lemon poppyseed muffins.  They did look good.  

“Aren’t you supposed to be eating donuts?” He teased.

“Watch it kid.” The cop said without any bite.

Peter reached in to grab a chocolate muffin before the man could change his mind.  “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Hey Pat,” Another cop said as he walked over to them twenty minutes and two muffins later.  “The kid’s dad’s here.”

“Thanks Earl.” Pat answered and stood, gesturing for Peter to do the same.  “Let’s get you home.”

They turned the corner around the hallway and Peter caught sight of Happy, standing in the lobby in black sweatpants and a grey sweatshirt.  Peter didn’t think he’d ever seen the man out of a suit.

A second later Happy noticed them and frowned.

“Hey…um Dad.” He practically choked on the words.

Happy just harumphed and looked up at Pat.  “He’s good to go?”

“Yeah.  All set.  He technically didn’t break any laws, but we can’t release minors without a legal guardian.” Pat explained.

Happy nodded and gripped his shoulder.  “All right kid, let’s go.”

“Go easy on him.” Pat called out to them as they reached the door.  “He’s a good kid.”

Happy snorted as he held the door open for him.  As soon as it closed, the man shook his head and said, “Even police officers aren’t immune to the Peter Parker charm huh?”

Peter grinned.  With a comment like that, it didn’t seem like Happy was mad.

“Thanks for picking me up in the middle of the night.” He said as they walked into the parking lot toward Happy’s car.

“What was I supposed to do?  Make you spend the night in jail?” Happy asked gruffly, but Peter knew he cared.

“Technically I wasn’t in jail.”

“Looked like you were in jail to me.” Happy muttered.

“Nope.”

“What do you call what you were doing then?”

“Hanging out at a police station?” Peter tried.

Happy rolled his eyes as he thumbed the unlock button to the car on the key fob.  “Sure kid.”

“It wasn’t so bad.” He shrugged.  “Pat gave me muffins.”

“Only you.” Happy complained as he opened the passenger side door for him and Peter crawled in.

As soon as Happy turned the car on, Peter started toying with the radio dial even though he knew it drove Happy nuts.  He couldn’t handle the man’s taste in music.  He settled on an 80’s rock station as they pulled out of the parking lot.

“You seem in good spirits.” Happy noted.

“Yeah.” He shrugged.  He was.  He’d made it out unscathed.  “If you drop me off at Ned’s house I can just climb up to his window and we’ll be all good.  He lives on 59th and Fullerton.”

“That’s cute.”

“What?”

“That you think I’m going to drop you off at your friend’s house.” Happy huffed out a laugh.

Peter frowned.

“You’re staying in my guest room tonight.” Happy explained as if he was crazy for thinking otherwise.

Peter figured that could work.  He’d just have to make it to Ned’s by tomorrow morning so Tony could pick him up there.

Happy glanced at him and his brow furrowed as if he couldn’t comprehend his continued zen.  “And in the morning Tony’s picking you up.” Happy added.

Peter’s head snapped over to Happy.  “What?  He knows?” He asked, his eyes bugging out.

“Of course he knows.  I called him as soon as I got off the phone with that cop.”

“Why?” He complained in a long whine.

“What do you mean why?” Happy looked at him like he was crazy.  “You got arrested—”

“I wasn’t arrested.”

“—and then you call me and you think—”

“I didn’t call you, Pat did.”

“—that I’m not going to tell Tony, your legal guardian, not to mention my best friend, and the guy who signs my paychecks, that I just had to pick his kid up from jail?”

When he said it that way it did sound kind of bad.

“I was thinking that you owed me for not throwing you under the bus last week and you’d be cool about this.” Peter explained.

Happy raised an eyebrow at him.  “Yeah I owe you dinner or concert tickets or something, not a get out of jail free card.”

“You have no chill man.” Peter groaned.

A second later his phone started ringing.  He pulled it out of his pocket, thinking it was Ned trying to figure out where he’d ended up.

“Shit.” He swore when he saw Tony’s name on the caller ID.

“If I were you, I’d answer that.” Happy suggested.

“I’m going to remember this.” He said, like a threat, to Happy.

“I’m sure you will.” Happy said with an amused smile.

Peter glared at him as he thumbed the accept call button.  “Hello?” He answered nervously.

Maybe it’d be ok.  Maybe Tony would be cool about this.  Peter knew he was no saint.  He’d gotten arrested a bunch when he was younger.  Maybe he’d understand.

“Peter!” Tony yelled.

Maybe not.

[fan4196]

Mother-in-law (Part 4)

Hey everyone! Here's (probably) the last part of this multi-chapter. I think about adding a fifth part, playing a little in the future, but I don't know yet. Tell me what you think.

Also thank you again to @angry-slytherin for beta reading.

For now, hope you like it! Enjoy!

-

...

"So answer my question, Princess. Why are you still hanging out with my family?" The atmosphere is way lighter now. They are laughing together, while Alex is still holding Jo's hands under his.

"Well four weeks after you left I found out that I was pregnant. I called you but you didn't pick up like all the other times before and the next number under your's was your moms. I saw her name in my contact list and just called her. I hadn't heard from you in four weeks and I wanted to know what was going on. But she told me that you had never been there. We talked, I cried, she comforted me and eventually I told her that I was pregnant. She was so happy and she wanted them in her life. And I wanted her in their lives; I wanted them to have a grandma and an aunt and uncles and cousins by blood. Even though I knew that they would have aunts and uncles at the hospital, I wanted them to have a real family. So I stayed in contact with your mom. I call her at least once a month and Amber too. Amber and I actually became really good friends, she was there when the twins were born-"

"When's their birthday?" Alex interrupts her with that question.

She grins at him. "Believe it or not but it's the 3rd of July." Jo's nodding softly while looking into his eyes, which look at her in disbelief but immediately soften.

"Wow. That's-"

"The day we met for the first time." She says softly and smiles.

"Wow, the universe is freaking cruel." He's looking at her with warm eyes.

"Trust me I cursed the world all the way to the OR. I actually asked Carina DeLuca if they could wait until midnight, but nope. Our babies got born on our anniversary." She replies with a laugh.

"I can imagine that. You know what I can't imagine. My sister in scrubs, trying to calm you down in the OR."

He's laughing too.

"She was anything but calm. I had to calm her down, while Carina tried to calm both of us down. Their birth was a mess." Jo's closing her eyes for a second, replaying the day of her babies birth.

"Tell me more about them." Alex is desperate to know more about his kids. He always wondered what his and Jo's kids would have been like and now that those kids really exist he wants to know everything.

"Alright, so- they are obviously twins. Emery is two and a half minutes older than Parker, her second name is actually Helen, after your mom, because she really was my rock during my pregnancy and because I knew that you wanted your daughter to have her grandma's name. Parkers second name is Joseph, after me, kind of. They were almost a month too early so they stayed in the NICU for a month and a half. They were really easy babies, thank God." Jo grinnes remembering her once tiny babies. "Their first word was actually 'Dada', which I was pretty pissed about. They love Pizza and their favorite sweets are donuts, but only the powdered sugar one. Parkers favorite color is green, Emery's is purple. Ahm- Parker wants to be either a bone surgeon or a ghost hunter, he's not quite sure yet. Emery wants to be a babies surgeon but only if she's allowed to wear her Tinkerbell wings over her lab coat. They are both really ambitious but they got the double dose of stubbornness." Alex has to laugh at that comment.

"They invented a new holiday 'Hallochristmas', which means they run around in costumes from Halloween until Christmas. If I hadn't talked them out of it they would still wear them. Their favorite bed time stories are when I tell them about cool surgeries or when I tell them about you." She whispers those last words, but Alex hears her clearly. He can't say anything because he's blown away and love struck. They are so perfect.

"Now tell me about your twins." Jo's trying to change the subject, while she's playing with his hand, which is now between her hands.

"Ok. They are eight now. They also both want to become doctors. They love our waffle sundays. They love animals, which we had way to many on that stupid farm. They are really good at school, they have amazing grades. Eli plays football and the trumpet. Alexis dances and plays the violin. And I have full custody for them but they visit Izzie once a month."

"What?" Jo didn't expect this kind of news.

"Yeah, ahm after Izzie tried to change every little thing about me I called it quit. We were always arguing so I moved out. I was still there every day, I just slept somewhere else. After a month or so Izzie got a new boyfriend. They went really fast and got married after only three months of knowing each other. I told her that I thought that they were moving way to fast but she wouldn't listen. One day I got a letter that her husband wants to adopt the twins and I had to give up my half of custody. I fought them in court and got full custody for the twins."

"Wow, what a bitch." This makes Alex laugh and Jo immediately gets infected by his laugh. But their laughter gets interrupt by someone opening the front door. A little head with curly, light brown hair pops out.

"Mommy, grandma told me to come get you because the food is ready."

Alex takes the blanket of them and offers Jo his hand to helps her up. Silently they walk towards the door where Emery is still waiting. Her daughter is about to run back to the kitchen when Jo calls after her.

"Emy wait a minute. I want you to meet someone."

While Jo gets rid of her coat and boots, Alex closes the door and also puts his jacket and shoes aside. Emery is watching the two adults, while she waits.

"Come here, Princess." She scoops her daughter up in her arms and walks closer to Alex.

"Emy, this is your daddy Alex." Jo introduces her daughter to Alex.

"Really?" The eyes of the three year old grow big, while she looks from her mother to Alex and back.

"Yes." Jo's nodding with a big smile.

"Can I hug you?" The little girl askes shyly. Alex answers with a big smile.

"Of course." He's taking her from Jo's arms into his and holds her close to his body. Emery puts her little arms around Alex's neck and kisses him on the cheek.

"I love you, daddy." She lays her head down on his shoulder and squeezes him a little tighter. The smile on Alex's face says it all. He couldn't be more happy right now. Jo watches them with the biggest smile on her face, also getting a little teary.

With his daughter still in his arms the three walk into the kitchen where everyone is already sitting at the big table. Alex and Jo take their seats and Emery lets go of her daddy's neck and takes the seat right next to him.

After they ate and talked, they make their way to the living room to finally open the presents. All of the kids are sitting on floor, while the adults are on the couches.

Jo is sitting next to Alex with a sleeping baby Evie on her chest. His right arm resting behind her on the couch. They are watching their kids playing together and laughing. Alex turns his view to the beautiful woman beside him and leans closer to her ear.

"Thank you for the best Christmas present I could have ever wished for."

Jo's looking confused at him, not quite understanding.

"Thank you for being here and thank you for those two amazing kids." She's answering with a smile and puts her head on his shoulder, while she keeps watching their playing kids.

"I think about moving back to Seattle. A few weeks ago Bailey called and made me a really good job offer and I consider taking it. Well- to be honest I know I will take it. Because the second I saw you made me realize what I want-" He puts a loose curl behind Jo's ear but before he can continue, she interrupts him.

"Alex, no. I can't do this, not with them." She grabs his hand out of her face and looks at him.

"I'm not only responsible for my own heart now but for their little hearts too and I can't let you break their hearts. I can't let you back into our life just like that. There are still things we have to talk about, so let's- let's start with being friends again, ok?"

"I promise you, I will do anything to not break your or their hearts. I've learned out of my mistakes. I won't repeat them. But I want to be in their lives. I want to be their dad and I want you. And I will do anything to get your trust back." He's talking calmly and he means every word.

"Let's start with hanging out and drinking beer again. And then we see what the future holds." She's smiling at him, while he's smiling back.

[evesbeve]

I have this thing where when I’m stressed or anxious I shake, so do you think I can get a preference or headcanon for how Klaus would handle that? Thank you :))

I’m sorry this took so long, it took me a while to choose in what way I’d torture Klaus this time, lol. Hope you enjoy, thank you for requesting!

Title: Habits

Summary: It was worry. Not anger, not pity. Worry. Ben was worried. And Klaus owed him an explanation.

(Read on AO3 + FFN)

DISCLAIMER: While this isn't the fic's main focus, if you are sensitive to ED related stuff, I'd be cautious reading. It's a side-comment and nothing relevant to the plot, but better safe than sorry

___

Klaus.

KLAUS.

Klaus, KLAUS, Klaus.

Klaus. Klaus, KLAUS. KLAUS.

KLAUS.

Klaus. Klaus. Klaus. Klaus. Klaus. Klaus. Klaus—

Klaus was getting tired of his name.

It wasn't as if Mom could change it again though, and even if she did, the ghosts would soon pick up on the new one. Perhaps his name wasn't the problem.

Perhaps it was the disembodied figures at every corner of the house, the limbing lurkers in the hallways, the deafening voices at night, on the afternoon, in the morning—

Perhaps it was the ghosts. The ghosts Klaus had never been able to control, even though he was practically living with them. All that was left was for them to figure out how to actually touch Klaus.

Which they would, he was sure of it. The more he grew up, the worse it got. Something about their powers maturing along with their bodies, their father had said, as if he had the solution all figured out. His methods never worked on Klaus.

Maybe he was the problem.

Klaus wouldn't put it past himself; he was the only one in the Academy that hadn't harnessed his powers, not to mention the family disappointment, and not just to their father. He could tell that everyone was getting sick of his mischief, of him.

Yeah. Klaus was definitely the problem.

At least he still had a few hours left till his next visit to the mausoleum.

Klaus hadn't really touched his food during lunch—the thought of being in there again made it impossible for him to eat—but no one commented on it this time. Usually Allison would nudge his arm and force him to have a few more bites, but she'd caught the flu, and wasn't at the table with them.

"Number Four, Number Six, you're on dish duty while Grace attends to Number Three's needs," their father had said after everyone else had finished, and then walked away.

Soon enough, there was no one else at the dining room but Ben and Klaus. Klaus knew it wouldn't last long—they were supposed to continue studying right after—but he decided not to think about that.

Focus on what you're doing, he told himself, and then he did.

It was time to carry all the dishes downstairs.

He placed all the forks and knives on Luther's plate, then stacked the other empty ones below it. He didn't really like touching the ones with food on them—they made him itchy. Ben could deal with those.

He stood in front of the door, trying to decide what the best route to the kitchen was, in order not to run into another talking corpse.

Klaus.

The voice was coming from downstairs. Klaus took a deep breath and took a step forward, quickly making it to the stairs. He went down two steps at a time, and everything was going well until—

KLAUS!

Number Four gasped when his eyes fell upon a ghost he'd never seen before at the very end of the staircase, and while it wasn't nearly as messed up as the other ones, the bullet wounds all over its body were a little bit too distracting.

It didn't matter. He had to make it downstairs and put the dishes in the sink like he was told to, or else there'd be consequences he didn't want to face.

Klaus…

He needed to ignore her pleads.

Help me, Klaus…

He needed her to shut up.

Klaus!

Why wouldn't his body move?

KLAUS. KLAUS. KLAUS!

Why couldn't he just take another fucking step—

"Klaus." A gentle voice echoed in the room, pushing the ghosts' screams away. A few seconds later, he realised that someone was touching his shoulder.

Ben.

"Yes?" Klaus said a little bit too quickly.

Ben didn't react to it, but Klaus knew he'd noticed. He always did. "You're shaking."

"Oh." He should have noticed. The dishes had started rattling, but he'd been too busy fighting with someone that wasn't even there. At least not for Ben. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Ben said, and let go of him. "Are you going to the kitchen or…?"

Klaus needed to pull himself together.

He bit his lip a little bit too hard and finally managed to move his leg forward and make it to the kitchen. They made a few more runs to the dining hall to bring the rest of the plates downstairs, and soon enough, the only things left were two plates; both almost full, both barely touched.

Ben and Klaus' plates.

It wasn't too hard to guess why Ben wasn't eating again. The monster underneath his skin was probably giving him a harder time than usual. It was the same reason every time. No one ever spoke about it. At least not that Klaus knew of.

They carried them downstairs, and Ben fetched a container to put the leftovers in.

Klaus never understood why they kept them. Of course he didn't want to throw them away, that'd be a huge waste of food, but it wasn't as if Mom didn't prepare a freshly-cooked meal every single day.

Klaus. Help me.

It took everything in him not to look at the ghost in the staircase. She was starting to get more and more persistent, but Klaus kept ignoring her. He had no other choice. He—

"You're shaking again."

Fuck.

"I'm not."

"You are."

Klaus.

"It's just cold down here." Klaus knew it was a stupid excuse, but he didn't know what else to say. He just needed to get as far away from that ghost as possible.

"Okay," Ben said, clearly unconvinced.

KLAUS—

He dropped his plate in the sink.

A loud clinking noise echoed in the room, and for a second, Klaus feared he might have broken the plate—or every other plate already in the sink—but thankfully that wasn't the case.

The ringing in his ears wouldn't go away though. At least it wasn't the ghosts, right?

"Klaus!" Ben rushed to the sink to check on the dishes, and once he made sure everything was okay, he turned to Klaus. "Sit down."

Klaus tilted his head in confusion. "What—"

"Sit. Down." There was a moment in which neither of them did anything. "Klaus, now!"

Klaus jumped. "Okay, jeez!" He quickly sat at the head of the table. He hadn't expected Ben to yell. "I'm sitting, I'm sitting."

Ben took a seat of his own, the closer one to Klaus' left. He fixed his posture and tangled his hands on the table, staring at Klaus in a way that he'd never done before. Klaus wasn't used to seeing him so serious. Or rather, so angry? He still couldn't understand what Ben was feeling.

"What is going on with you?" he asked in a strict voice. It was nothing close to Dad's sterness though.

"Nothing!" Klaus raised his hands up like an innocent. "Nothing out of the usual, I swear! Pinky promise and everything!"

Ben raised an eyebrow. "Out of the usual?" Klaus stayed silent. "You mean the drinking? Or the smoking? Or—are you high?"

High. Now that was a word Klaus hadn't heard in a while.

He'd started experimenting with alcohol long before Five disappeared, and even cigarattes. But drugs? They were new, and they were great.

It started when he got really hurt in a mission a few months ago. He'd been shot, and he'd been put into the infirmary. Mom drugged him to remove the bullet, and that was it. The secret to not seeing ghosts.

At first he stole painkillers from the infirmary, but they weren't nearly as effective as whatever Mom had used to drug him. A few weeks later, they took down a drug dealing operation, and that was it again, for real this time.

He couldn't get his hands on drugs often. There weren't many opportunities for him to get out of the house, and barely anyone was willing to deal with a fifteen-year-old, afraid he might get them into trouble.

But they were always on the back of his mind. Always, always, always. And now that Ben brought it up, he did have an extra pill saved for tonight. Maybe he wouldn't last till then. Maybe he'd take it right after leaving the kitchen, maybe—

"Are you high?"

It was worry. Not anger, not pity. Worry. Ben was worried.

Klaus shook his head. "I wish I was."

"Jesus, Klaus," Ben mumbled. "You need to stop this, okay? You're hurting yourself—"

"Oh, now you sound just like Diego," Klaus said.

"I don't care what Diego says to you, you have to stop this."

"I'll be fine, Benny."

"How can you even say that? What happens when you try something too hard, or when you take too many pills—"

"Sure."

"—or when none of us can help you and you wind up dead somewhere without anyone knowing—"

"I don't have a choice!" Klaus yelled, finally shutting Ben up.

It took a few seconds for Ben to speak again. "What do you mean?"

Klaus sighed. He was really doing this. "The drugs… They keep the ghosts at bay." He couldn't look at Ben. "I bet you wouldn't think of the consequences if someone offered you to get rid of your little tentacle friends, would you?"

Maybe he shouldn't have said that, but it seemed to get the point across. Ben didn't come back to him with any argument. Klaus could walk away now.

But he didn't.

"I'm not high," he said, in hopes to ease Ben a little. "But there's a ghost right there," he pointed at the stairs, "and another one right there," then at across the room, "and a couple of them banging at the door."

"You're scared."

Klaus huffed. "You could say that."

"That's why you're shaking."

"I guess."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Klaus shook him off. There was another moment of silence. "How did you know about the drugs?"

Ben shrugged. "You always sneak out on Sundays," he said. "A few weeks ago, we wanted to go out for donuts, but you weren't there."

"I could have been doing something else."

"I got it out of Diego," Ben admitted. "Don't tell him I told you that. He didn't exactly say the word drugs, but it wasn't too hard to guess." Ben bit his lip. "I also noticed that your special training doesn't happen in the house," he added, and Klaus flinched. "I can hear Dad drive off every Thursday night, so…"

Klaus wasn't sure he wanted to talk about the mausoleum. Actually, he was sure he didn't want to talk about it. "Anything else?"

"Actually, yeah," Ben said. "I know it's a bit hypocritical coming from me, but you need to eat more."

Klaus huffed, cracking a smile. "Look who's talking."

"I told you it was hypocritical."

"I'll try," Klaus finally said. "But only if you try?"

Ben bit his lip. "Pinky promised and everything?" he asked shyly.

Klaus sighed but didn't resist. He held out his pinky, and wrapped it around Ben's. "Pinky promise."

He didn't really want to move. Getting up meant he was leaving this behind him, and he wasn't ready to go on with his day, not yet. He glanced at Ben, to see if he was any different, and then he noticed that—

"Hey, Ben?"

"Yes?"

"You're shaking."

Maybe the two of them had more in common than Klaus had originally thought.

[idiot-extraordinaire]

Pancakes and Mr Snuggles

Just a morning at the Lopez-Pierce home (c.2027)

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Sunlight streams through the gaps in the curtains. Santana crinkles her forehead, unamused that her slumber has been interrupted. Her eyes flutter open and everything is quiet.

Too quiet.

She turns to the left and is surprised to find the other side of the bed empty. She then turns her head to the right and sees a pair of brown eyes staring back at her.

Those eyes belong to a three year old boy, peeking over the edge of the bed.

"Good morning," she reaches over, ruffling his hair affectionately, voice still a little rough from sleep.

"Hola," the little boy says.

She chuckles. "Hola. Where's your Mommy?"

The little boy just shrugs his shoulders. The smile on his face tells Santana that he's keeping a secret.

"Really? You don't know?"

Another smiling shrug.

"You're not hiding from Mommy by any chance, are you?"

He then nods his head vigorously. His smile turns into a grin.

"Shh," he whispers, with a finger to his lips.

Santana lets out a laugh. "Come here." She pats the spot on the bed next to her and helps up the little boy as he scrambles up onto the bed in his blue and yellow ducky pyjamas. He dives under the covers and pulls them over his head. "Mommy won't find you in here."

She hears him giggle. "Gracias, Mama."

"Hey babe, have you seen-"

Brittany walks back into their bedroom, but stops short once she spots the lump in bed, next to her wife. A coy smile of her own grows on the blonde's face.

"You didn't happen to see a little boy pass here, did you?" she asks, from the doorway. "'About this tall, ducky PJs, supposed to be helping me with breakfast?"

Santana shakes her head. "Sorry, Britt."

The lump next to her continues to giggle.

“Hmmm weird, that's fine. I guess I'll just have to wait here and see if he stops by," Brittany says, walking back to her side of the bed and promptly flopping down on it.

She stretches her arms exaggeratedly so one of them falls directly on the giggling lump.

"Gee, Santana. Our bed sure is lumpy," she pats the lump with her hand. "Do you think we should get a new one?"

"Mommy!" the boy throws the covers off his head, revealing himself.

"Ollie!" Brittany replies in the same tone and starts tickling him, till he's in a laughing fit. When she relents, he manages to escape and snuggles up to Santana.

"Did you wake your Mama, Ollie?"

"No, he didn't wake me up," Santana says. She leans over and is met with a kiss from her wife. "Good morning," she greets with a contented smile on her face.

"Good morning. How are my girls?" Brittany lets her hand drift down to Santana's pregnant belly, under the covers.

"We're good," she answers softly, gazing into Brittany's eyes. "We're good. What's this I heard about breakfast, though?"

"Oh, well I was working on making you some super special, awesome pancakes, but then my assistant ran away," Brittany pointedly turns to their son, who just smiles.

"Super special awesome pancakes, huh? You must really love me," Santana teases.

"I do really love you" Brittany says, planting another kiss on her wife’s lips. 

"Well, I really love you too."

The three of them eat breakfast together - pancakes with blueberries in a smiley face, assembled by one Oliver Lopez-Pierce. Unfortunately, Ollie messes up the syrup mouth, and syrup ends up on the table. He tries to wipe it, but all it does is get his hands sticky.

Santana wipes his hands with a baby wipe, as Brittany flips the last pancake. Ollie reaches for Lord Tubbington who has waddled his way into the dining room expecting to be fed. He looks disappointed when he approaches his bowl and sees cat food, rather than Seabass and donuts (his favorite breakfast combination).

"Tubbs!" Ollie exclaims, clearly wanting to play.

"Ollie, baby, you can play with Tubbs after breakfast, ok?"

The young boy seems content with this answer, though his attention is still focussed on the fat cat.

Santana knows for a fact that while Lord Tubbington certainly likes Ollie, he certainly does not love to play. It is only because the old cat likes the Lopez-Pierce boy enough that he even entertains the idea of "play", given his hatred for activity. Lord Tubbington would much prefer a relationship with Oliver, where the young boy only fed and pet him. None of this running around nonsense.

The syrup instance aside, the Lopez-Pierces share a calm breakfast. Ollie scarfs down his pancake quickly.

"Can I play now, Mama?"

"Did you finish your milk?"

"Yep!" he beams, showing her his empty cup.

Santana watches Tubbs hover around the breakfast table and smiles. "Sure, go ahead."

"Thank you! Play time, Tubbs!" Ollie grins, hopping off his chair and chasing after the fat feline - who has now wandered off into the living room, clearly disappointed with his own breakfast - with the energy and enthusiasm that only young children have. "Let's do a new trick!"

Santana is also positive that Lord Tubbington hasn't picked up any new tricks in...well ever (unless you count his stint in cigarette smuggling), but laughs as her son grabs a cat toy and pats for Tubbs to join him where he sits. The cat drags himself over and reluctantly swats at it, clearly not up for this level of exercise so early in the morning.

Whatever, serves the fat bastard right for ruining so many of her shoes.

"Your mom called," Brittany informs her. "Her and your dad are taking an earlier flight, so they'll get here in the morning instead of the evening. She said something about a surprise."

"My dad better not be bringing another life-sized bear."

"Awww, but you love Mr Snuggles."

"I don't love keeping Tubbs from having to use it as a scratching post. Don't you remember the last time he tore Mr Snuggles' leg and stuffing started coming out? Ollie thought he was bleeding!"

"We sewed him back up."

"Yeah, but how much more damage is he going to cause to those poor, innocent bears, Britt? Can you imagine our darling boy having to watch the cat practically assault another bear?"

"So you admit it," Brittany smiled, slyly in between bites on pancake.

"What?"

"You love Mr Snuggles."

"That's not what I was saying. Besides, we don't have the space for another one." Santana retorted indignantly.

The truth was Santana totally adored Mr Snuggles. Carlos Lopez had spent most of Santana's upbringing working at the hospital and while things had started to improve after high school, the tension had yet to fully evaporate. After they got married, he made a greater effort. Visits to New York happened a little more frequently, so did phone calls.

But it all finally came to a close when two days after they informed Santana's parents that Brittany was pregnant, Carlos showed up on their doorstep with a stroller and a six-foot teddy bear, congratulating them and saying he didn't want to miss his grandchild's life, in the way he'd missed so much of Santana's.

There had been hugging and crying.

Both Santana and Carlos deny they were the ones crying.

In truth, they both were.

"He was like our baby's guardian, Britt," Santana finally admitted, now seemingly on the verge of tears. "You know? He was so little. When he was by himself in the nursery, it's like Mr Snuggles was looking after him," she sniffed.

"I know, baby," the blonde smiled reassuringly, reaching across the table and patting her wife's hand.

Santana sniffed again and her wife handed her a tissue. "Damn hormones."

"If your dad brings another bear, we can give it to Mike," Brittany suggested. "Quinn is due not long after you anyway. Besides, I think Mr Snuggles has enough left in him to be guardian to our baby girl too."

Santana thinks about it. "We need to stop Tubbs from getting into the nursery and wrecking the bear."

"We can do that. Besides, he was too lazy to finish his underground tunnelling system across the house."

She pauses again. "Ok. You're right," Santana admitted. "As usual."

Brittany laughed and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. "I like the sound of that."

Both now done with breakfast, the blonde moved to clear their plates from the table to the sink. Santana smiled and watched Ollie try to make Tubbs chase a ball of yarn across the living room. It was probably meant to be some game, but Tubbs preferred taking his sweet time, which didn't seem to bother the young boy. She was also pretty sure the couch was going to be covered in yarn by the end of it.

This was her life.

And damn, did she love every facet of it.

Who would've thought? Certainly not the terrified cheerleader, secretly in love with her best friend all those years ago.

"Hey."

Brittany, who has started to wash the dishes, feels a pair of arms wrap around her waist and pull her close.

"Did I ever tell you that I love you?" Santana asked, keeping her voice low.

Brittany turns around, with that sly smile Santana fell in love with for the first time, all those years ago.

"Tell me again."

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Author Notes:

And she told her every day, forever and ever, until they were 150 years old.

Also, yes LT is still alive by some miracle and yes, Mike and Quinn got together at some point (I've always liked the idea of them together).

There might be more of this verse and I have some other ideas if people are interested. I'm still processing everything, but writing this actually made me feel a little better.

We'll get through this together, guys.

No mater what, Brittany and Santana are off in New York, living their best life, in the early years of their long an happy life together.