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currymanganese · 11 months ago

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"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks to @all-inmoderation @bioloyg & @imliterallyjustablackgirl for tagging me! ❤️

Star Sign(s):

Sagittarius Sun, Virgo Moon, Pisces Rising <- What does it all mean? No idea! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Favorite Holidays:

Eid, Divali & Christmas <- Not for religious considerations, I associate them with having lots of delicious food, which is precious to me. 🤰🏽

Last Meal:

A slice of pawpaw (papaya), stew chicken, black eyed peas, white rice and sorrel juice. <- #grateful thanks mom 😔

Current Favorite Musician:

Khruangbin because Mark, Laura and DJ are all super talented and disciplined musicians, but also because I want the band's lead guitarist, Mark Speer and the bassist, Laura Lee, but especially Mark Speer, in ways that would shock and alarm you, like IDK anything about his personal life, but I think I'd combust if I met him. Mark if you're reading this that smut chapter in my songfic WIP was only possible because I just know you're good with your-[GUNSHOTS] <- He's not reading this, finish the meme! 😤

Last Music Listened To:

Total Control by The Motels for a The Bear meta post that I did and Hope Tala's "All My Girl's Like To Fight' from my small playlist of songs that I headcanon that Syd and Carmy from The Bear (2022) listen to. The playlist serves as a writing aid for me because regardless of the actual musical tastes of Syd and Carmy in the show's canon, this is a small sample of what the two of them like to listen to as I've characterized them in my fic.

Last Movie Watched:

Precious (2009) I was traumatizing myself and [SPOILERS]

Carmen Berzatto in my WIP fic, because Syd insults him using a gif from the movie and Carmy ends up watching this film so he'd understand the reference because he is a loser and is obsessed with his totally platonic coworker and he wants to know everything about her. 😔

Last TV Show Watched:

Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, @devisrina convinced me, but I haven't finished watching it yet and I'm not to sure when I'll resume because The Bear and Sydcarmy still have me in thrall. 😔

Last Book/Fic Finished:

Last book finished, Words of Radiance by Brandon Sanderson. Last fic finished.....I shan't say - I'll describe it though - it was a seedy, sketchy, funny, smutty, crack ship one shot gag fic on AO3. I'm ashamed of myself, some of those words in that fic were in The Bible, but chile........anyways. Moving on!

Last Book/Fic Abandoned:

Last book I stopped reading - Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson - Dalinar Kholin, you stupid cunt, why do you always-[GUNSHOTS] <-Girl walk away from the book if it's stressing you that bad, c'mon now - the fictional character's dumb decisions can't hurt you. I'm actually planning on finishing it someday, but I watched The Bear when I was a quarter of the way through the book and now I am totally useless for almost everything else.

Currently Reading:

Ten Myths About Israel by Ilan Pappe, get a free ebook copy of it here while you can. Also the Gaza Diary by Ziad, a 35 year old Palestinian man.

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation:

High blood pressure and pregnancy, and maternity leave in the US of A, and before that CBT case studies and CPTSD and ADHD, and before that meningitis and sepsis. <- All for my current Sydcarmy WIP.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory:

The day Richonne went canon, or rather that era. <- Love it when racists suffer, schadenfreude can be something so personal. 🥴

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence:

I want Star Wars and BNHA to be good, but alas....Next question. <- Anyways these franchise/series are making money hand over fist still, nobody cares if I never care about them again, but I do love the ship Inko Midoriya/All Might from BNHA and I ship UkaTake from Haikyuu!! <- I had a lot of fun in that niche marketplace for a time.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did:

The Blue Castle by LM Montgomery FUCKS severely - I'm glad that it got a boost on here with The Blue Castle Book Club. Ms. Montgomery put her whole pussy into that book, every single cell and I relate to the book's protagonist, Valancy, quite a lot.

Also, The Queen's Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner has a smallish, but fairly active following on Tumblr, but it deserves the energy that is devoted to some more popular YA fantasy/historical novel series. <- All of these books are re-readable af, 10/10 no notes.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Reign In/Don't Have Time For:

No such thing because I am unemployed. <- have mercy on me O God! It's been the first year of my adult life that I haven't been in university or running myself through the gristmill of capital and I feel trapped and anxious and fed the fuck up. I hate it here, goddamn!

Sorry to end on such a bummer of a note, but thank you for reading if you've read this far and please, regardless of if you were tagged, play along if you can! I've seen a lot of my mutuals tagged in these things before, so apologies if you've already done this, but*

@vacationship @anxietycroissant @bulabujalam @tvfantic87 @devisrina @dreadfuldevotee @mod-doodles <- please come back to me, Mod, darling, I miss you! 🥲 @jub-jub @pureseasalt <- bestie I miss you too! @ashluvsu4ever @cchickki @parrradiseeee @margaery-bonaparte-said-so @seleneofthejungle @prowitchazel @gardenianoire @artemis0404 @polymorphposting @hauntedstrawberrygiver @justabovewater20 @monetbonet @sab-teraa @agoodworkerdoes @melfinawins @melaninerd @iwantadecentblogname @persephonelovesbooks @november-rising @yannaryartside @bitchqueenofthebitchsquad @waywarddeee @myelegieseulogizeme @paddington22017 @ruethrills @techliche @erins-quinn @sydcarmyfan @lunasink @perkedelktg @couldbemaybe @msmoiraine @darkostudios-blog @angelica4equity @theonlyamazingtazmin @mswyrr @chansoooo1-blog

*pretends all of your blog names rhyme with pikachu*, I choose you!

#thanks for the tag guys!#ask meme #about the blogger #about me #my writing

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bonny-kookoo · 4 years ago

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Bunny Boy (JJK x Reader)☁️⚠️🔪(💜)🔞 Part 1

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, Yandere!AU, Stalker!AU, questionable romance, smut, Oneshot

Warnings: (oh boy) Stalking, Obsession, Yandere themes, cute Koo but aggressive, he ready to fight, graphic description of violence, blood, very twisted JK, oblivious! Reader, kinda Stockholm-syndrome Reader?, soft romantic lovemaking, body worship, Dom! Jungkook, Sub! Reader, Handjob (fem. receiving), oral (fem. receiving), protected sex because even with your mind scrambled up in a frying pan we still wrap it before tapping it y’all hear me STDs ain’t cute Susan

Summary: It all started with a hello kitty charm.

A/N:(IMPORTANT) I’d like to note here that I do not condone nor romanticize any of the things depicted in this. This is purely fictional, and only to be seen as a work of art, not as a depiction of real life relationships. For short: if he a creep, kick his balls, don’t kiss. Thank you.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part?

Whenever you slept, he had to think of an angel portrayed in an old painting displayed in a museum he'd seen when he had been a kid, years ago. He remembers its features, flawless and so carefully drawn that it edged on perfection. It couldn't have been however, he knew that much. Because the painting wasn't of you.

The sheets had fallen all over the place during the night- you sometimes moved during your period of unconsciousness he'd noticed, which wasn't unusual for you. It had been more often and severe these days however; probably because of the stress you experienced at work nowadays. It was okay though, he though to himself. He'd taken care of that for you, just so you could finally rest in peace again. Just like he'd decided almost a year ago.

"You lost this, I think.." A voice spoke behind you, as you turned around, eyes looking straight at some american writing on a black t-shirt, then a jean-jacket thrown over, until your eyes raised, spotting a silver chain necklace- not one of those large ones guys wore to impress, but a rather delicate looking one. Your eyes found soft looking lips, the upper one smaller than the lower, slightly parted like a doll frozen in time, before you saw a prominent nose, a slight scar on his cheek, and eyes wide open; a dark chocolate brown, reflecting the artificial lights of the grocery store, shining all around you as they tried to advertise several products to the people browsing the isles. His hair was a bit curly, dark and only mildly styled you assumed. He stood way taller than you did, the main reason you had first made eye contact with his chest rather than his face-

He was handsome.

You stuttered a bit as you looked at the hello kitty charm, a simple one you'd hung on your phonecase, for the aesthetic and sole reason that you liked the cat character a lot. "T-Thanks.." You said, and your voice made his eyes widen even further, before he flashed you a bright smile, bunny like teeth giving him a charm that completely contradicted his entire punk-like attire he wore, combat boots stepping back a bit to give you a bit more space, sensing how his close presence made you feel pressured.

What a nice gesture.

"Jungkook." He said, and you nodded, giving him your name as an exchange.

Unknowing where this would lead.

His phone chimed with the familiar tune of his alarm, making him simply tap away at the screen without breaking eye contact with you. This was his favorite moment of the start of his day.

You moved around a bit more, the screen of your phone bright and annoying, just how you intended it to be. He knew that you were quite the sleepyhead, cherishing your dreams and cozy blankets like no other around him he knew. That's why your phone had an extra obnoxious tune to it to wake you up, screen as bright as possible to drown the entire room in its glow, so you had to move around. Your eyes opened slightly, pout ever so endearingly present on your lips as you sat up, raising your arms to stretch them above, making him swallow his saliva as he saw how your shirt raised up, revealing the soft skin of your belly, and the slight peak of your cotton underwear. He loved how you always put comfort over visual appearance- you didn't need fancy clothing to look absolutely divine in his eyes, after all.

He had to remember his task at hand however, grabbing his phone with a bit of hectic, before he dialed a number, waiting until your screen lit up. You instantly took on the call, not looking at who's calling.

Did you know it was him? Or is were you so careless all the time?

"Goo'mornin' Kookie.." You drawled into your phone, and his entire previous thoughts flew out his window, his eyes closing at the sound of your slightly raspy voice, his nerves instantly soothed at the fact that for another day he'd managed to become the first person you would talk to.

"Good morning angel." He said, voice low and smooth, just how you always told him you liked it. He watched as the corners of your lips turned upwards, a smile only dedicated to him, even if he technically wasn't supposed to see it. It made it the more special to see. "Did you sleep well?" He asked, and you nodded. Silly girl he thought. You noticed your mistake before sleepily giggling to yourself, yawning before answering him verbally. He cooed at you internally. You were so cute.

"Hmhm. Had a bad dream though." You said, and his heart clenched at the way your lips lowered a bit with the remembrance of whatever had happened during your slumber. He wished he could invade your very thoughts, keep even your own demons tormenting your precious time of rest at bay, kill them off with a shot straight to their cores, just to have you safe. "but you were there 'n fought the monsters." You said with a smile, and his eyes widened. Maybe he really was invading your thoughts just like you did with his. Was your connection really already that strong? He watched the clock on the very corner of his laptop, keeping an eye on the time. He didn't want you to be late, after all.

"That's right, I'm always keeping you safe." He hummed, and you sleepily replied with a confirmation of his statement. "Now get ready, or you're gonna be late baby." He said, the nicknames still foreign yet oh so sweet on his tongue whenever he said them. He could finally speak them out loud, finally give them to you regularly, and it had been a firework of emotions ever since. He could never get tired of the way it made you squirm, giving him a teaser of what you could look like underneath him, bare and ready for his taking. Just the thought alone made his pants tighten around him, making him force composure down his throat- at least for the moment. "I know you're still in bed. Go and get dressed, don't make your coworkers wait. Love you angel." He said, and waited for you to say the same words to him again, as a form of farewell and confirmation alike.

"Hmhm, love you too, Kook." You said, and disconnected the call, giving him finally freedom to groan out loud, hands scrambling with his pants, fingers working on the button and fly with desperation as he pulled his half hard length out of his underwear, moving his fingers around as his eyes never left your form on his screen, bare legs softly walking up to your dresser. As you discarded your shirt, leaving you bare, his grasp tightened a bit, air coming out in gasps as you stretched yourself so deliciously like a feline did- your back arching enticingly, breasts on full display for him, before you started to bend down, looking for something to cover them, probably.

His mind started to come up with visions of you, arching your back underneath him like that, speared on his cock, mewling alluringly, delicate hands frantically searching for something to hold onto as he would push himself inside you again and again, your name falling from your lips in a manner he couldn't even imagine yet.

Would your voice raise in pitch? Would you only huff, gasping without a tune? Or were you a screamer?

He didn't know yet, but he knew he was close to making these mere dreams a reality with you. He'd finally managed to show you his love for you after all, finally making you see how you belonged to him and him only- you had finally accepted him and your destiny at his side. When he'd first met you, you were so sweet yet so.. dumb. You didn't notice, didn't feel the connection- but he was patient. He was able to wait, to hint you at it the best he could, to softly lead you into his awaiting arms, to serve you and worship you like the goddess you were. You had started to finally connect the obvious strings of fate to him, kissing his lips in such a shy manner that he still felt his veins buzz from the euphoria he'd felt that day.

The day he got kissed by an angel, by his soulmate, his other missing part.

He spied on you as you worked away, busy like a bee, ever so hardworking he thought. You didn't deserve to work at all in his opinion, your hands too delicate to be endangered by maybe scolding yourself on hot water or coffee that you made every day for absolute strangers or regular costumers; yet you were so happy at your job that he had to be gentle at slowly showing you that this wasn't where you were supposed to be. The amount of people looking at you every day made bile rise in his throat, making him feel like vomiting every time he saw the way you smiled at another man.

It was even with woman, he'd noticed recently. He didn't care much about the elderly, but he could sometimes spot girls your age eyeing you down like you were a rare diamond behind glass, admiring you like they shouldn't be allowed to. He understood them to an extend, he'd admit that much; your visuals were magical, absolutely breathtaking, making him almost sympathize with the people being drawn towards you. Your soul was so soft and gentle that people naturally felt comfortable around you- too comfortable, if anyone would ask Jungkook himself for his opinion on that matter.

Just like right now; the guy you once went to school with as he'd found out after photographing his face and running a google search on him, finding his facebook and other social media accounts on his hunt. He hadn't really tried to stay in contact with you after you both graduated, dating girls left and right like he was a 12-year old collecting pokemon cards, posting disgusting things such as post workout pictures, bathing in attention of strangers who'd never really met him. It was disgusting, really; Jungkook himself had given himself away to others before as well, but his counter was standing at a number easily displayed on one hand. With this guy however, that was way more difficult to portray. He'd collected information on his past affairs as well, after all. He wondered what you would say if you knew he even slept with men in his freetime, selling himself like a whore just for animalistic pleasures and his own satisfaction. He almost felt himself gag at the thought of you possibly falling into this man's trap.

Thank the heavens he'd found you first.

He saw how uncomfortable you felt around that guy however, even your naive self sensing something malicious behind his attention seeking behavior towards you. He'd overheard you telling him multiple times how happy you were with Jungkook, yet the guy simple did not take the hint, speaking over your words as if they didn't hold any significance at all, uncaring of how you hated not being taken seriously by others.

How nauseating.

Jungkook looked at the passenger seat next to him, cold eyes gazing at the silvery tape and plastic bag, his glove clothed hands gripping the steering wheel in determination as he turned his face again, patiently waiting as that demon payed for his coffee, finally leaving the cafe after sending you another look. Jungkook cracked his neck. He had to do it.

He was doing it for you.

You'd understand.

Seoul's nights were mostly starless, due to the amounts of artificial lights blending out the galaxies above everyone's head's. It was quite tragic to him, really, because as he watched the colourfully lit up Bridge blend into the distance behind him as he drove further and further away from the city, the nightsky above him got clearer and clearer, as if the earth was revealing itself with every kilometer he brought between himself and the buzzing citylife.

He'd bring you out to a trip far away one day. Maybe camping, you always told him how you found these things quite romantic- roasting marshmallows over a small fire, stargazing, and sleeping in each others arms to converse heat in stuffy sleeping bags. Oh, he loved this already. He'd work a little overtime at his job to get enough money together so he could maybe even rent a small van. Or would his small car suffice for you? Maybe it was better to use the smaller space of his own vehicle- the less space meaning being closer to you, after all.

As he opened his window a bit, he breathed in the almost icy air from the outside, not much sound heard apart from his car's engine and wheels on the road, monotonous sound making him feel less concentrated than he should be. But he knew these roads, thankfully. Luckily for him the air inside his car was waking him up a little bit, as he turned around a corner, Jungkook clicked his tongue in annoyance as he felt something on the backseat of his car tumble down behind the seats. Hopefully the bag didn't rip. He had a spare one with him though.

He was organized, after all.

It was something that you always praised about him, making his chest feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He loved whenever you told him how handsome he was, how you always felt so appreciated whenever he held the door for you or helped you with simply mundane things. He didn't care about anyone else's comments about him; when you were happy with him, he was happy with himself as well. Your opinion of him mattered most- everyone else's only served as a safety cushion if you will.

He knew you would probably feel a bit upset with the tragedy that befell your former classmate- but he was insignificant. He had no good intentions, he knew that much, and now, he'd ridden the world of such a nuisance, cleansing it from another rotting soul. In a way he felt like he'd done a great job, as if he'd done something important. If ghosts existed, Jungkook hoped that this young man's was thankful for finally being freed of it's miserable existence. Even though he have had all the rights to make him suffer, he'd made it quick and simple, keeping things clean and sharply cut.

Pulling on the parking break in his car, he shut down the engine, before he opened his car door, stepping outside and stretching his arms. He'd definitely pulled a muscle carrying this dudes body into his car- the weight much more heavy than he'd initially thought. But that would pass. Maybe it was his punishment for not acting sooner, not getting things done immediately. His dad had always slapped that part of his neck too whenever he messed things up. He still remembered that to this day.

The memory made him shudder.

Sighing, he opened the door to the backseats, part of the plastic-wrapped body falling a bit out, making Jungkook huff a bit in frustration. He pulled on it, assuming it was his head, letting the weight fall down onto the ground, a low thud and a bit of dust covering his black sweatpants and combat boots.

He'd clean them up at home.

Heaving the body onto his back as to not rip the well made covering, he began to collect rocks nearby, stuffing them into the bag carefully, adding weight as much as he could, while still making it possible for him to shove the body over the banisters placed on the edge of the cliffs before finally securing more tape around the bag to make sure the rocks couldn't simply tumble out and leave their destined place inside. Jungkooks gaze was still cold, icy, as he finished his work with an almost bored expression, finally hefting the heavy weight over the metal bars, before he let it fall with a groan on his side, Neck still hurting. He watched as the body hit the water's surface, white splatters shooting in circle formations around the bullet-like hole in the waves before the darkness swallowed it whole, leaving nothing behind but a few air bubbles.

Jungkook took a deep breath, watching for a moment before turning his gaze to the stars above, clouds slowly shielding the nightsky from his vision as if the heavens above closed their eyes- not looking at his actions.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, making him remove his black glove, unlocking it with his fingerprint skillfully, smile already on his lips. 'I'm gonna be done in half an hour. Do you wanna get some late night Ramen with me and eat it at my place?' you wrote, silly emojis making him imagine the pink hue on your cheeks as you wrote these lines to him.

Now that he thought about it, he was quite hungry.

"Jungkookie, here!" You said, waving at him as he spotted you, bunny grin sent your war as he walked over, immediately pulling you into his open arms, his nose nuzzling your neck as if he needed to claim you like an animal. It tickled you a bit and you giggled, making him chuckle as well as he kissed your cheek, before he took your hand into his, walking you to his car as he looked at the plastic bags in your hand.

"Why did you buy them yourself angel? You could've waited and I could've payed." He whined, and you scoffed a bit, blushing at the way he seemed to be pouty over the fact that he couldn't be all gentlemanly like he always said he wanted to. Having told him how it made you feel so special inside whenever he did these things, he made sure to do them for you as much as possible. He shuddered at the fact that you'd once told him that your ex boyfriend never did these things such as holding the door for you or help you grocery shopping. The same night however you thankfully told him that you were still pure; having never been touched intimately before, a piece of information that had made his pants tighten embarrassingly fast, the simple revelation that you were still untainted and his for the taking making him feel starved. Yet he had controlled himself, not wanting to rush things. You were a bit skittish, easily overwhelmed with things, so he knew not to push anything too fast too far.

Loosing you could be fatal for the both of you, after all.

"Ah, but its fine Kookie." You said, thanking him after he'd opened the car door for you, closing it after you had gotten inside the passenger seat after you with a smile. Jungkook really was a special guy; he seemed to cherish the old ways of courting a girl- something that had made him be seen as a 'softie' in your group of friends, the girls constantly making fun of the way he acted around you. It made you feel more and more upset the more time went by; after all you really loved Jungkook and the way he made you feel. You both were happy- why did they need to make fun of that?

"Angel?" He asked, and you snapped your head towards him, humming an answer and proving to him that you weren't paying any attention. His eyebrows furrowed a bit, and for a split second you thought he was mad, but his voice didn't hold any bad feelings at all- only slight concern. "Is everything okay? If you're tired I can drive you home-" He said, stopping at a red light and using that moment to look at you. You didn't look physically sick to him, yet your face told him how something was bothering you inside. He'd studied your features for longer than he'd like to admit, making it impossible for you to hide anything from him at all. "Or is something troubling you?" He said lowly, his eyes suddenly fogging over with a look you could not quite describe.

It made your spine tingle and your skin shudder, however.

"I just.." You said, trying to figure out what to say concerning this topic. Jungkook was emotionally very easily affected, you knew that; something that made it even more difficult to bring that topic up. You didn't want to hurt his pride or his ego concerning his manliness. "The girls at work they uhm.. they were making fun of you a little bit for being so, you know, soft and sweet to me-" you said, making him raise his brows and open his eyes more, his innocent doe-look returning into his face as he looked forwards to continue driving. You immediately raised your voice a bit, hand instinctively touching the one not on the steering wheel as a form of confirmation for your next words. "But I don't think that at all, I think you're really nice, and strong, and you know, manly and all that.." you said, ears slowly turning red as you noticed how that sounded. Jungkook simply smiled, his eyes reflecting the traffic lights like mirrors.

It made him seem almost ethereal to you.

"So you think I'm hot?" He asked, and you sunk down in your seat, fiddling with your fingers as you nodded, making him giggle a bit, and ruffle your hair playfully, before interlacing his fingers with yours, holding them towards his lips to kiss the back of your hand. "Thank you Angel. So that's what you were worried about? That I'd feel hurt by the words of your friends?" He asked, glancing your way for a split second before looking forward again. He wished he could look both ways at the same time; the short image he'd gotten of your form so shy and adorable sitting right next to him looking like a scene out of a movie he'd never stop watching. You nodded again, and he parked in front of your apartment complex, grinning your way as he turned off the engine. "You're so sweet, angel." He said, while you whined, opening the door to escape his laughter-

While failing to wipe your own smile off of your lips, uncaring on how his car had smelled a bit weird.

You were still so oblivious to everything around you.

When he'd left after your last dinner together, you'd again refused to let him drive you to work. You had a split shift during the week, working in the mornings for a few hours before continuing your shift later that evening. It made him feel uneasy knowing that you had to get out of the house so early, and coming home so late at night- yet you still trusted your own driving skills enough to not let him help you with these things. He knew this was okay, but it didn't make the fact less frustrating for him.

He needed to keep your trust. He needed you to be scared of things. He needed to keep you needing him.

The only way to do that would be to show you what could happen when you didn't trust his judgement enough. He knew that you were just so fast at giving away important things such as trust to others; even to yourself. Yet Jungkook knew that he knew better- he knew best what was the best for you.

Even better than yourself.

He knew it would hurt, but you would understand. In the end, he was only showing you what would happen if you didn’t listen, if you didn’t trust him, didn’t do what he said- he needed you to feel your mistake, needed you to get scarred so you would always remember to stay at his side loyal like a dog, never to leave his sight ever again. He thought about this dream like vision, your hand in his, desperately seeking his attention, as his oil stained hands cut through the proper cables underneath your admittedly old car.

He never liked you driving by yourself anyways.

You were still so innocent, so stupidly oblivious to the dirt underneath everyone’s fingernails around you that it made his blood boil. But that was okay. Angels were naive creatures, he knew that. He would teach you how disgusting the world was to untainted beings like you, and afterwards he would keep you safe, keep your hand in his at all times, so no one could ever touch you again and blemish your skin. No one but him was allowed to corrupt you, to feel you, to have you lay in his arms as he filled you up and became one with your physical form at night.

And also;

Who said that you would ever find out that he was at fault?

"The breaks aren't working Jungkook, what am I supposed to do?!" You sobbed through the speaker of his phone, the one which he held calmly in his hand, his own vehicle parked at the sidelines of a road a bit further down your typical route, waiting. "I can't slow down- I'm so scared Jungkook what should I do-!" You whimpered again, and he closed his eyes for a moment, praying to the heavens above that they would forgive him for hurting one of their most precious fallen doves. But it was for the greater good- they'd understand, he was sure of it.

"Don't worry angel, you're gonna be okay-!" He said acting as if he was hurrying as well, even though he was still sitting peacefully inside his car, watching as the sun slowly turned the skies into twilight shades. Quite beautiful, really. "Can you slow down, somehow?!" He said, his voice cracking a bit as he got into his role, your voice telling him that you couldn't- the only way would be to drive into the woods and maybe try and crash the car. "Angel no, there's gotta be another way-" He sobbed, as he suddenly heard the line go silent.

He sniffled a bit, drying his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater, before he turned on his car, his phone showing the location of yours just a few meters away from him.

And there you were.

You car was a wreck, yet it seemed like it took most of the blow- you had actually taken the wood-option, using the bushes, foliage and brushwood as a form of emergency break before hitting a tree, which had split a bit from the impact, mushing your car against it like a piece of gum onto the underside of a shoe.

He carefully got out of his car, walking up to the drivers side, opening the door with a bit of difficulty- but he'd always loved working out, so in the end, his strength succeeded in opening the bent metal. He immediately caught your falling body, his heart breaking at the small cut over your eye, marks on your bare shoulder from where the seatbelt had pulled on your skin too roughly. Your arm looked like it was swollen, your leg bent in a direction it naturally wasn't supposed to as he pulled you out of the wreck, laying you down onto his lap as he sat down on the grassy ground, softly brushing the hairs away that had formed groups of single hairs stuck together by the blood that was already clogging and turning a bit darker. Oh how his soul hurt seeing you like this.

But this had needed to happen.

And as he called the ambulance with his phone, careful to sound as desperate as possible over the line, he failed to notice how your eyes weren't fully closed.

You were still conscious.

#bts #bts imagine #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts reactions #bts yandere #bts yandere au #yandere jeon jungkook #yandere jungkook #yandere bts

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petri808 · 4 years ago

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1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30-Epilogue

Lucy POV. TW: Panic Attack, Mental trauma/coping, PTSD

The university and Lucy’s professors had been really wonderful about everything, even offering to convert her classes to an online option so she could continue. She wasn’t happy about the idea of taking a sabbatical from college, but there was no way she could manage. Not only was it difficult for her to leave the apartment because seeing anyone that remotely resembled Touka sent her into a panic attack, focusing on anything at all was a struggle. Night after night it haunted her dreams and spilled into her waking moments. She’d run scenarios through her mind, all the what if’s, should haves, could haves, often leading to horrifying outcomes. They’d survived, yes, but at what cost?

She didn’t feel the same anymore as if a part of her did die in that apartment or fled to a hidden part of her brain too scared to come back out. The once happy, positive person had become a nervous wreck unable to control her emotions or outbursts. Lucy’s bedroom became her safe zone from everyone, even those closest to her, ashamed and insecure of their judgement. In her heart she knew friends like Levy or Natsu wouldn’t judge... but tell that to her broken mind, because her brain was the one in control at the moment, and insisted they’d look down on her.

All the irrational thoughts. It was her fault for not being careful, her fault she was kidnapped. Lucy knew Touka was growing dangerous, yet walking alone, at night... utterly stupid. She should have been overzealous at protecting herself, but oh no, stupid girl didn’t want to believe anything would actually happen. Until it did. And now she was even more pathetic and weak for not getting a hold of her emotions, for not controlling it instead of it controlling her. The danger had passed. They were alive. Touka was in jail. It should be over, but it wasn’t. Lucy couldn’t move past that night, stuck in an endless loop of fear. So many nights she’d wake up in a panic covered in sweat, the fading images of red... blood... like dripping down a tv screen in a horror movie. It was Natsu’s blood she saw and his screams when the knife had sliced him open.

The first week after the event had been difficult, sitting through an interview with Gajeel, and reliving all the mental wounds. It took several hours to get through it all despite the man doing his best to go easy on her. Each time painful parts came up, Lucy felt the anxieties rise, the mental blurring, the shaking, literally a physical shaking of her body in an effort to dispel the rise of adrenaline coursing through her veins. Interviews are best done without any other potential witnesses in the room to avoid cross contamination, but after Lucy’s first two attempts to talk to investigators failed, Gajeel was forced to allow Natsu in with explicit instructions to sit quietly and say nothing while the woman talked. Of course, Natsu’d been fine with that, he’d do anything to help, even if it was just holding Lucy’s hand. But it only added to her embarrassment. Surely Natsu will eventually tire of having an unstable girlfriend.

Then there was the therapist Levy helped Lucy to find which she hoped would help her to quickly get over the events and move on. So, when the woman explained that such traumas take patience and time to process, Lucy was devastated. It almost felt like nothing was going her way anymore, falling dominoes with no end in sight. She felt so ashamed for having to see the woman in the first place, and now she’s told it would be a long journey towards recovery. Just great! What’s next?!

“Lu?” Levy knocked before opening the bedroom door. “Are you gonna eat your dinner in here again? It’s ready.”

With the curtains drawn, Lucy’s room was dark and the only light available was a small desk lamp next to the bed set to a low setting. She peeked out from under her blanket. “I-I’ll come out in a minute, thanks Lev.”

As soon as her friend closed the door, Lucy exhaled in relief. She knew Levy was worried about the amount of time she stayed holed up in the room, so to dispel some of those concerns, Lucy would join her roommate for meals. She quickly applied a gauze wrap, threw on her long sleeve hoodie, and left the room. It made her feel safer to be shrouded and covered up, so gone were her skirts and tank tops, and hello to long sleeves and pants. If she could cover her face from the world, it would make her happy. Even her overall hygiene suffered. Lucy would forget to bathe or wash her hair for days on end, and it took Levy or Natsu with gentle prodding to get her to do it. She would wear the same clothes for a week if it wasn’t for Levy who made sure she changed at least every couple of days. Hell, she’d starve if her roommate wasn’t feeding her. This was a frustrating cycle, not having the mental energy to take care of herself, then feeling bad because they had to help her with things, which made her feel even worse.

It tore at Lucy’s heart to watch Natsu going through this process with her. She knew he was going through his own struggles, not just mental, but physically healing from his wounds. And here she was, the basket case of instability. Bless him, he never gave up no matter how distant she grew, but after that night, Lucy really didn’t want to talk about anything out loud, not that night, and certainly not the true extent of her pain from it. Both Levy and Natsu knew only what she couldn’t hide from them. Like the panic attacks, and since she really didn’t want them to see her go through one or what she’d resorted to, to calm herself, so the safest solution was stay quiet and not trigger them in their presence.

To show his dedication, Natsu even went with her to her therapy sessions and waited outside the office. Lucy knew it was costing him money to do this, because she couldn’t ride a train which meant cab rides every single trip. It bothered her a lot, but she did her best to hide it, and besides there was one small measure of security in having him at her side when she needed to venture out into the public.

“So, the nightmares are still a problem?” the therapist questioned Lucy. “Are you sure you don’t want to try a medication? It would help to ease them until we can get things under control.”

Lucy gripped to the hem of her sweater. “I just don’t wanna become addicted to that stuff...”

“That’s understandable. But not all are addictive, and I’ll be here to make sure it doesn’t get out of hand.”

“I... I don’t think I’m ready.”

“Okay, that’s fine,” the woman smiled. “Remember I’m just here to help you, at your pace. I won’t force you take anything you don’t want to.”

“Thank you.”

“What about the breathing and relaxation techniques? When you feel the anxiety rising, are you trying out the steps?”

“I try... I don’t think I’m very successful at it.”

“Does it work sometimes?”

Lucy pauses for a few seconds in thought before nodding yes.

“See, that is progress!” The woman encouraged excitedly. “Two weeks ago, it didn’t help at all, and now it works sometimes. It’s a big step forward Lucy.”

“Doesn’t feel like it is...” Lucy mumbled.

“I know it’s hard to see it for yourself, and that’s okay. These things take time and practice. Do you remember what I said about these things?”

“Not really.” Which was true. During the first week when the therapist explained the processes, Lucy had stopped listening as soon as the woman said it would take time.

“Let me ask you a question. You like to write stories, right?”

“Yeah.”

“When you first started, were you able to just write perfect stories.”

“Pfft, no.”

“Then how did you get better at it?”

Lucy rolled her eyes, knowing where this was going. “Practice.”

“Yes! The PTSD requires learning new coping skills as well as unlearning irrational ones. To do both takes practice. The more we work at it, the easier it will get, I promise. One day you’ll be able to look back at this experience and feel stronger for it.”

She really wanted to believe the woman, but it was so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Tears well up in Lucy’s eyes, seconds before they start to flow down her cheeks. “Why is this so hard?! I just wanna get back to normal!” She could feel her anxieties rising. “I... I-I don’t wanna talk about it anymore! I just wanna forget it ever happened!”

The woman reached over and took Lucy’s hand, applying a strategic amount of pressure while rubbing her thumb over the webbing in a counter stimulus. She softened in tone. “I wish I could say that would work, but in order to get past it, you need to confront it. Together we’re gonna turn the boogieman into Casper the friendly ghost.”

It was such a weird way of putting things, it caused Lucy’s mind to snap out of the anxiety and snort a sniffling laugh in response. “Casper the friendly ghost?!”

“It was the first thing to pop into my mind,” the therapist laughed too. “The point is, we’re going to work together and slowly bring you to a place where this no longer scares you.”

“O-Okay...”

The rest of the session was tough, and Lucy had come close to a panic attack several times, but as a trained therapist, the woman stepped in at the right times to bring her levels down again using breaks and breathing routines. Sure, with a professional in front of you, it wasn’t as bad, but doing this on her own, the attacks were still winning. At the end of the session, the woman suggested a new technique to try out based on Lucy’s love of writing.

“You’ve heard of art therapy, so just think of this as a different form of creative therapy. Writing a diary is helpful to get out your feelings out in a healthy way. But let’s take it one step forward to use your skills in fiction writing. I want you to try before the next session, writing a story where you interject your emotions, feelings, whatever you want into the characters and story. Kind of like your character becomes you, but now you get to control what happens to them after the trauma they endure.”

“Wait, so you want me to write about a character that goes through what I went through?! Like torture my own character?!”

“Yes, to put it bluntly. Take your pain and unleash it onto the fictional character. It’s a much healthier way of releasing your anger or frustration in something that can’t really be hurt. Do whatever you want to them. But remember you also get to give them the ending you want to. It’s about utilizing a tool you’re already comfortable with and taking back some control. It’ll be normal if you cry, scream, and get upset through the process, but that’s okay, because instead of holding it all in, you’re getting your feelings out.”

Lucy slumped back in her seat. It sounded strange, yet at the same time made a bit of sense to her. Angst type stories were not really her forte, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t do it, especially since pain is all she was channeling at the moment. She sighed. “I’ll try.”

“And that’s totally okay. All I ask is that you give it a try.”

#nalu #nalu fan fic #nalu au #nalu fan fiction #Natsu dragneel #Lucy heartfilia #Natsu x lucy #nalu fanfiction #strangers on a train #ch 24 #angst #TW: panic attack #TW: PTSD

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enduringsea · 3 years ago

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( rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people! no skipping! ) / tagged by @yellowcrumpet ╭( ･ㅂ･)و )))

Thanks for the tag! I LOVE these things-- I don’t rlly have a playlist either though, just a mess of music files on a device I haven’t updated so I’ll be checking my YouTube history too lol. There’s a uhhh.... pattern to be found, mainly relating to Code Vein or other OCs.... which isn’t surprising ._. ;; I made it a separate post bc I knew this was going to get long and rambly with lyric snippets and crying about fictional characters, sorry :D

1. Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor don’t go / you’re half of me now / but i’m hardly stood proud / i said it, almost oh i’ve been low / but damn it i bet it don’t show / it was heaven a moment ago oh i can’t seem to let myself leave you / but i can’t breathe anymore This one gives me Loubeth vibes ok, partially bad end route ;-; While Elizabeth is a very strong person, her friends are the most prominent reason she tries to do anything at all & isn’t living day-to-day in a monotonous grind to survive without a solid purpose other than ‘help random ppl bc it’s the right thing to do’. If she loses them, it’d ruin her & hammers into her head how everything she’s ever done has been a failure. She suffered a major betrayal by her boss before the Collapse, she was unable to fully participate in proj. queen despite her incredible test results, she failed to defeat Cruz and take her blood during Operation Queenslayer, and if she fails to protect the people she’s finally found meaning with? She’d break down completely & destroy herself to save them. She’s always had some level of abandonment issues, and without her family around it’s so much worse, even if it isn’t the most obvious because she’s generally seen as very well put together-- I really can’t express how much it would hurt her to lose Louis, Yakumo, and the others. She’s just not one to show just how bad it can truly get for her mentally and emotionally-- she’s resilient as hell, she’s been through hell repeatedly and survived it all, so it’s easy for others to assume she’s fine all things considered. It makes her feel weak and ashamed of herself if she shows any level of vulnerability, so she doesn’t; she swallows it down and is afraid of disappointing those who look up to her as a fighter and friend-- of course, no one at Home Base would blame her for being vulnerable, they all have their moments, Bethy just sets herself to such a high standard it’s difficult for her to talk about her own suffering in spite of how well-versed she is in getting her thoughts and feelings across otherwise. Louis is the one most keen to how deeply she’s hurting, but he doesn’t understand just how deeply until she finally does fall apart. The final swell of the song and its desperate lyrics really relays the pain they both feel-- Louis too would not fare well if something happened to Elizabeth, because he blames himself she was even involved in Operation Queenslayer for a long time, I honestly did so bad in explaining coherently, this song just has so much emotion and hurt behind it adklfjdfdff </3

2. Looking Out For You - Joy Again this is a love song for a girl who will never know it’s about her she's beaming that smile / all the while i’m all tripped up on my own throat i guess there is no hope This song reminds me of Elizabeth & my friend’s character Takashi Fujioka, who gets-- vERY...FRIENDZONED, for lack of a better word, by Elizabeth in his story, it’s really summed up best as tragic (;﹏;) Before the Collapse they were hitting it off, then the Collapse happened, they were separated, he lost his sisters, Mido happened, he was experimented on + became a revenant, etc, etc; years have passed since then & she’s gotten her life together as much as one can in a world like Vein, but for Takashi it’s like no time has passed at all. Elizabeth is subtly older in appearance, she’s been working w Lou & Co. for a long time; Loubeth blatantly have a connection, & rather than bringing up his feelings + making it awkward bc he values their friendships, he just kinda. chokes on them & does his best to help out the team. It doesn’t help he can’t even be jealous bc Louis is a really solid friend to him too, IT’S JUST A MESS OF A SITUATION & the death of what could have been if things were different.

3. Closer - Teagan And Sara ( no lengthy explanation for this one thank goodness, I’ve just been watching BoJack Horseman again and I really like some of the songs they add in, I like listening to this one on loop when mindlessly coloring something )

4. Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo all I did was try my best / this the kind of thanks I get? they say these are the golden years / but I wish I could disappear ego crush is so severe / god, it's brutal out here I have it on a playlist for Elizabeth somewhere, not all of it applies to her but it reflects some of her struggles she has both before & after the collapse. She’s-- always kind of been a mess while under immense pressure + has serious self image issues, this song hits that side of her well. She’s been held to humanly impossible standards by both herself and her family bc frankly? She can reach them, she’s NOT exactly human. She was born into her position as a hunter & intends to keep it for as long as she lives (like revenants, her kind is very much ‘either gets killed or lives 5ever), even if some days she really feels how heavy the burden can be. She didn’t have a normal childhood and she’s fine with it for the most part, but it alienates her from most of her peers-- she never got to date anyone, never had a close group of friends, never went to parties that weren’t formals, etc., while she feels a little childish about it, she does envy ‘normal’ and understands the pressure she’s lived under her entire life has caused damage-- she has been exploited for her abilities, there’s just not much she can do about it but to keep going, rlly.

5. Freaks - Surf Curse don't kill me / just help me run away from everyone i need a place to stay / where i can cover up my face don't cry / i am just a freak / i am just a freak UhhhHHH this song really makes me think of Oliver Collins :D;; thank TikTok for showing it to me. It makes me think of how scared he was, of both the world and the revenants who captured him. The song’s use of the word ‘parasites’ really makes me think of Revenants and the BOR parasites XD I’m hoping when I poke my video editor again, I can record some Oliver footage to make a short video to this song. Oliver deserves so much better, I wish you could save him, but that’s what AUs are for, hahah.... The second half of the lyrics make me think of the AU I have where he lives and has to grapple with the guilt of surviving and the things he did to other revenants to get by too.

6. All Eyes On Me - Bo Burnham you say the ocean’s rising / like i give a shit you say the whole world’s ending / honey it already did you’re not gonna slow it / heaven knows you tried got it? good / now get inside I haven’t seen the Netflix special yet but I’ve had this song on repeat since my move started. The lyrics hit too hard & resonate with my existential dread, covid exhaustion, and extreme burnout in my 20s, but bc I have Damage I can also relate it to CV ._. ‘you’re not gonna slow it, heaven knows you tried. got it? good now get inside’ makes me think of--;; the bad end route again, and Elizabeth’s desperation to keep her found family together. It’s not like her to completely stop caring about an issue, but in the moment she realizes what’s being taken from her? She doesn’t want to save all of revenant-kind if it means she’s going to wind up alone all over again, her world is effectively over if she’s forced to be alone again. The MC frenzying means the only immediately identifiable hope she had of saving everyone else is gone, so why not just go home? If they’re all doomed, she wants to at least be together for a little while longer, it’s fine if they use her blood to survive & everyone else in the mist is out of luck, it’s soul-crushing bc I’ve never had her in a situation where she’s been this reckless, despondent/hopeless, and thinking irrationally where it’d impact more than herself-- especially when she’s normally goal-oriented, organized, meticulous, so on so forth: she’s not one to act without thinking something through first, but that last breath of light just got sucker-punched out of her. All she wants is home, comfort, and family, and ultimately in the bad end route she does manage to preserve their lives, maintain the mist, and supply blood beads, but her own condition leaves her on the throne-- it’s a mix of the bad, neutral, and true ending rlly ldkfjdf BUT YEAH enough rambling on that :D;; This song’s really good and touches a lot of different thoughts and ideas both in real life and my ocs, kind of embarrassing--;; thank u bo burnham for ruining me with this beautiful song

7. Yellow - Coldplay look at the stars / look how they shine for you / and everything you do your skin / oh yeah, your skin and bones / turn in to something beautiful do you know / for you I'd bleed myself dry Does this song make me think about JackEva? Yes. Yes it does. Star / night sky symbolism? Bam. Sappy lyrics about love and finding the person you’re with absolutely mesmerizing and worth dying for? BAM. If JackEva were capable of using their own blood to save each other, I can see it-- hJNGn they just care about each other so much, Jack cries for her even though they both knew that eventually one of them would succumb to their duty, and if the roles were reversed I can see Eva doing the same, I adore them beyond human language. On my CV RP blog, my Jack’s not shippable bc-- Eva, my friend even have them looking after his nephew (an oc--) at one point. I should seriously drop some headcanons down eventually....

8. Louder Than Thunder - The Devil Wears Prada are we meant to be empty-handed? / i know i could, i could be better i don't think i deserve it / selflessness, find your way into my heart all stars could be brighter / all hearts could be warmer

LMFAO throwback to my middle school playlist, I’m old-- I’ve applied this song to a lot of things back in the day, but I really connect it to Loubeth now, especially Louis. Lou & Bethy are both functional idiots who are too hard on themselves & have trouble recognizing their worth beyond what they can do for others. They’re trying to be better-- to make up for what they perceived wrongs they’ve done, but it’s hard, they don’t believe they’re worthy of the love and support the other gives, but they still yearn for that sense of security. After Louis’ memories are returned, he finally understands the guilt he’s felt since he became a revenant and it really skews his self-perception; he blames himself for so many things & Elizabeth, who has always been able to kill when necessary, sets it straight-- “It’s not your fault”, and it takes Louis some time to properly absorb that message. He thinks she’s just trying to comfort him, which she is tbh, but she’s not wrong: “It’s not your fault you couldn’t kill someone. It was never your job to kill anyone.” It’s up to people like her to do those sort of things-- Elizabeth may not have been present when Cruz frenzied, but if she had been? It would have been over before it started, that’s something she has regrets over, even if nothing could have been done since she was already on the field. Actually, she’s actually really quite angry that security failed to monitor Cruz properly and has a few select words for the ones there who could have actually done something before it got out of hand-- civilians and doctors are exempt from her shtlist bc they’re not meant to be killers (so don’t worry Artorias, she’s not ready to bite your head off!), but they had to have some kinda security detail rite o-q??? They’re probably hiding from her wrath-- BUT ANYWAY, she insists she’ll never blame Louis for not being able to do something as serious as killing another person. He was a normal human being who cared about his friend, not a failure, and he couldn’t have been expected to do something that shouldn’t have fallen on his shoulders in the first place. As many times as it takes, she’ll reaffirm that it wasn’t his fault, she’s not angry, he’s always done his best and her opinion of him hasn’t changed. He’s a good person and she loves him through all the hurt, though she doesn’t drop the word ‘love’ for a long time. It just-- takes Louis a while to accept she views him as someone worthy of the love and respect she has for him. It’s kind of ironic she’s so adamant on Louis not blaming himself considering she’s the one privately blaming herself for-- wow there’s too much to unpack, she feels guilty she was even born?? im so broken over these two. I love them and yet they SUFFER...

9. What I’ve Done - Linkin Park i'll face myself / to cross out what i’ve become erase myself / and let go of what i’ve done today this ends / i'm forgiving what i’ve done

I have Louis Amamiya brainrot and I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thinks that this song fits him super well & it needs to become an AMV dsjfkldsfd. I’m a near life-long Linkin Park fan and this fits with Lou so well thematically. As much as I’ve gone on about Louis’ guilt, he does steel himself to keep going forward in spite of it and make things right, for everyone. Maybe it wasn’t really his fault, but at the end of the day his inability to kill Cruz in that moment left a disaster in its wake that got a countless number of people killed-- the MC included with Karen and Aurora. He doesn’t want to run away from the truth, doesn’t want to make excuses, he wants to take responsibility for it and he’ll work himself to death if it means things will be better-- it’s both admirable he’s got a strong resolve and VERY concerning with how willing he is to die for the cause, please don’t overdo it, Lou, you’ll break mine and Bethy’s hearts ._.;; It won’t always be easy, there are moments the grief gnaws at him, but in the end he does overcome it (and uh. as in the bad ending, we know he can actually do it this time). I know we can’t see everything, but I would have loved deeper character interactions, especially with Louis with an emphasis on grieving + forgiving himself properly-- but this song really is nice with the whole ‘I’m going to face my mistakes head on, forgive myself, and keep moving forward’. It’s what Louis deserves: self forgiveness and a damn break ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

10. Call of Silence - Hiroyuki Sawano you will know you're reborn tonight / must be rough but i’ll stay by your side even if my body's bleached to the bones / i don't want go through that ever again so cry no more / oh my beloved ngl idk if those are the correct lyrics, buuuuuuut....... im a weenie and am internally weeping abt loubeth after midnight, what else is new lmfao- i’ll at least try to be brief :D I also used to really like Attack on Titan when I was in high school, I dropped the anime years ago because I was waiting for s2 and never got back to it once it started airing again, I thought I’d finish it once the anime was complete since I eventually caught up with the manga, such a good series BUT ANYWAY-- I think it’s a really pretty song and Loubeth fit with the tender lyrics. IT’S LATE, idk what to say about them other than what I’ve said already dsklfjdslf im sorry I really ramble a LOT and I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had the chance to >w>;;

#i do not know how 2 b quiet #long post #personal text #yellowcrumpet

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twinprime · 4 years ago

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rules: tag people you wanna get to know better 🖤

tagged by @hanniba1 thank u!! <333

this is super long so everything is under the cut

your name and then what you would have named yourself: mackenzie, but i was originally going to be named evangeline and i kinda wish my parents went with that instead

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): pisces sun, cancer moon, gemini rising

when did you join tumblr and why?: i unofficially joined in 2011/2012?? officially started posting in 2013 and then went on a hiatus around 2018 and returned a little over a month ago. p sure i joined as a one direction stan account lmao

top 5 fandoms: im not really in any fandoms other than hannibal right now but my most recent ones were voltron, boku no hero academia, star wars, and marvel

top 5 favorite films: hereditary, donnie darko, 2005 pride and prejudice, interstellar, and nightcrawler

go to song when you wanna Feel something: when the world caves in by matt maltese

what’s your religion or faith if you have one?: atheist

a song that makes you feel seen: sorry my dear by hobo johnson or liability by lorde

if you could have any career: either professional violinist (but its so competitive and the pay isn’t good enough unless you’re a prodigy) or an astrophysicist (but the field is so small it’s almost impossible to get a job)

do you have a type?: ✨women ✨ personally i’m not sure if i have a type but i have had a few people point our i tend to like girls that are very similar to me so uh. do with that what you will i guess.

what does your heart/soul yearn for: honest to god a hug. i just want to be loved unconditionally, to be stripped bare and have my flaws lain in front of me and for someone to accept me fully. ahaha anyway <33

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: ever-changing, impulsive, formal (??), ambitious, creative

favorite subjects in school: music, history, and math

where does your soul feel most at home: travelling!! it doesnt even matter where tbh, but mostly in the mountains or by the sea. drove all the way from virginia to oregon for college because i literally just feel at home while im on the road

top 5 fictional characters: will graham, frederick chilton, zuko, keith kogane, todoroki shouto

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: literally cannot remember the last time i cried at a show but the ones that made my heart ache were the mizumono scene, the dolce reunion scene, and the wrath of the lamb ending lmao

the earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: moon/stars

favorite kind of weather: either grey, gloomy, early morning fog in the end of summer or thunderstorms in the autumn

top 3 characters you kin with: will graham, frederick chilton, keith kogane (bonus character: azula, to an extent)

favorite medium of art: music!! expression of art through music is >>>>

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: reluctant extrovert.

a favorite literary quote: when richard siken said “sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine” and when anne carson said “i’ll take care of you / it’s rotten work / not to me. not if it’s you” and when yves olade said “you can have my heart if you have the stomach to take it” and when richard siken said “it should be enough. to make something beautiful should be enough. it isnt. it should be” and wh

some of your favorite books: i cant remember the last time i finished a book lmao!!! but some that im reading rn that im loving so far are bram stoker’s dracula, haruki murakami’s 1q84, and donna tartt’s the goldfinch

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: honestly just anywhere in western europe but preferably italy, france, england, the netherlands, or norway

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: italian renaissance, the european romantic music era, the british romantic literary era, or as a teen in the 90s

if you could play any instrument masterfully it would be: i already play violin but if i could be a bit better that would be lovely lmao! id also want to play cello, piano, and french horn

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you feel a connection to: i dont feel a connection to any deities but i’ve always thought persephone, hades, and athena were all cool

and lastly, favorite recent selfie in your camera roll:

tagging: @wills-graham @aragima @antlerspdf @transatlantyks and/or anyone else who wants to do it!! this is super long so don’t feel pressured

#would you look at that!!! its my face!!#a really low quality picture of it with a heavy filter!!#thank u aubrey for tagging me in this <333333 #.p

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marieschunne · 4 years ago

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SGE AU: Chapter One

Author’s Note

This story is based on the fiction world created by the very talented Soman Chainani, an alternative universe/fan fiction written by a reader and is not at all affiliated with the original series. This story will not include the series’s main characters (notably Agatha, Sophie, or Tedros) and is focused solely on telling the story of a fictional main character that I made.

Note that I have made changes to some parts/story concepts, as well as including darker themes to better suit on describing the tale of the Evil Queen’s daughter.

Summary

Maeve of Avalon is the princess of the most famous evil kingdom in all the woods. Growing up, she has been groomed by the Evil Queen to become her successor, to continue the legacy of evil.

But it was soon proved to be in vain when the invitation for the School for Good came instead. Her fate was not at all as as she thought; for Maeve found herself trapped in the worst of nightmares and the thin line between good and evil, forcing her to choose between her wicked destiny… or accepting her mother’s wrath.

The room tilted under me as my head spun with disbelief, my fingers clutching the Flowerground ticket—the pressure of my grip on the shining, glossy surface creating a crease on the edges. My name gleamed under the casted dim light from the chandelier above, dripping of oil and cobwebs in which the spiders have long since crawled away to avoid the wrath of my broom. There was no mistaking it, I thought, as my eyes widened and once again ran over the glittering words: Princess Maeve of Avalon; 1 Passage Ticket; the School for Good.

Sucking in a sharp breath, I placed the ticket on the edge of the windowsill where I’d found it earlier. My shoulders suddenly felt heavy… too heavy, as though invisible boulders have been dropped against it. I fell to the ground, feeling the rough surface of the carpet tucked between me and the cold stone floor. Pressing my hand against the bridge of my nose, I struggled to keep the emotions from rising, though it was clear a raging thought appeared in my mind, in bold black letters atop the small words screaming in my head: Mother is going to kill me.

I shouldn’t have opened the windows this morning, though I always do it every day. Even if the letter hadn’t fallen straight to the windowsill for me to find, it would have somehow ended up in my hands anyway, although I doubt it wouldn’t cause a sort of chaos in the castle, not to mention my mother’s bubbling wrath. Ever since I turned fourteen and the date of acceptance came near, Mother would not stop talking about the School for Evil, where my place as a student must have been guaranteed already after the success of Mother’s story. She was the Evil Queen in Snow White’s fairytale who didn’t even bother with burying her stepdaughter or her foolish prince; instead, she had them both cremated and frozen in the dungeon so that whenever she brews a potion of mischief, she could do so while staring at their dead souls.

For years I have been training for this moment—hours spent in the dungeon following Mother’s potion and spell books, creating explosives and capturing doves, putting them in a cage just for the fun of it. When I was seven, I remembered catching a mouse hiding in a small corner near the throne room before presenting it to Mother, always eager to earn her approval. That was when she told me to kill it.

I cried then, refusing blatantly. In return, Mother lashed my palms and killed the poor animal right in front of me. A pitiful soul is unbecoming of a villain. Since then, I never cried; nor did I blink when I saw other creatures getting murdered before me.

What would she do when she finds out about my ticket? Lash me again? Torture me in her dungeon? Kill me before another villain could and cremate me beside my stepsister?

Though ashamed, I don’t want to die yet. Mother used to tell me that to die is a weakness—of course, except for the years catching up on you—and to live is to win in the universe’s game. If she ever discovered the existence of this wretched Flowerground ticket, if she ever found out that her blood daughter is a student of Good—

My hands shot out to the metal ball at the end of the bed, one I used for practice torture, before flinging it at the gilded mirror. The echo of glass shattering pierced my ears, but I could barely hear it over the sound of my pumping heart banging against my eardrums, adrenaline coursing through my blood. If there was anyone I fear most in this world it would be Mother, and should she ever find out that a stymph bird never came to whisk me away to that school, I might as well be doomed.

Suddenly, a hard knock came from the door, snapping me out of my dark thoughts and back into reality. Quickly, I grabbed for the ticket and stuffed it inside my drawer. I barely had time to push the thing shut before the door opens, revealing an ugly goblin that is the castle’s Chief Steward standing in the doorway, her rock grey skin murkier than usual. She sneered at me with her crusted lips, her eyes a muddled green, “the Queen is awaiting your presence at the gates.”

Hiding my shaking fingers, I forced my expression to remain calm. “What for? Is she going somewhere?” I truthfully doubt my ability to remain neutral and not give away the yawning chaos of fear inside me if I were to face her at this time… but do I have a choice?

“It is the weekly trial, girl,” the goblin said, narrowing her eyes as though she could smell my skepticism.

“Right,” I said, straightening the creases of my black sheer skirt. “And it is Your Highness to you, Gill. Or simply princess should suffice.”

Ignoring her dark expression after being scolded, I rushed out of the door without another glance, blood still roaring in my ears.

✧ ༄ ♥ ༄ ✧

“At last!” Mother announced, tapping her long, slender fingers against the carriage door, her red nails the color of her enemy’s blood. Her lips were turned upside down in a frown—an expression between upset and irritated as she sighed, “where have you been, Maeve? The people are anxious for this trial! They demand justice!”

They always do. Under Mother’s rule, the people have grown to be either cruel or cowardice, with no one daring to lift a finger for rebellion. How can they, when Mother was a product of a successful Evil story, read by every single child in the Reader world? Besides, Mother would of crush them into pieces in a blink of an eye.

“I lost track of time,” I mumbled, carefully tiptoeing the apology at the edge of my tongue. Was this why the School Master appointed me as a Good student, instead of Evil? Because he knew that somewhere deep inside, a small part of me cared enough to say sorry?

“Villains don’t just forget about time!” She scolded sharply. “If I were a tad bit late in killing Snow White, she would have been a queen in my stead!”

“Yes, Mother,” I said, forcing my voice to be firm.

She climbed into the carriage first and I followed, feeling the dark velvet of the chair cold as any stone under my skin, keeping the whole aura always in gloom and doom, just as Mother liked. If I were her, I would have added something red, or perhaps a lighter color…

I cringed in disgust. Pink is a color for good princesses. It is a color that should never enter my eyesight.

Not letting my thoughts run any deeper, Mother quickly engaged me in a conversation that always included bits of advice on torture, death, and more misery. Her lips widened to form her trademark storybook sneer, her dark brows arched elegantly. “Only a day more until you must leave for the School, Maeve. Now, remember to make sure that your windows are always open to easier access for the stymph birds. No nonsense of pretending to be asleep in bed; absolutely ridiculous! I was more awake than I had ever been when they took me.”

“What were you doing when they took you?” I wondered, the invisible weight of the Flowerground ticket still pressing against my palm.

“I was carving open my old Gran’s heart—I didn’t need her to pester me while I was at school,” she told me, her eyes far away as her face contorted with satisfaction. My stomach dropped. If Mother was cruel enough to kill her own blood, then what was there to stop her from killing me?

It felt much like pushing myself off a cliff when I dared myself to ask, “Mother, what do you think of the School for Good? What—What if, in some extraordinary case, one of our people was taken to Good?”

She frowned, taking her time to think about it. Probably imagining all sorts of torture for this imaginary Good person—who also happens to be real, and that person is me. “I wouldn’t be able to reach the School for Good to kill that child myself… there are violations set by the School Master. But the family… oh, yes. The family should suffer enough that the child would be too afraid to ever set foot upon this kingdom again.”

I pursed my lips. Now I’ve heard enough. After acknowledging her reply with a curt nod, I inclined my head to look out the window, at the sight of our kingdom. Like the castle, the richer part of the kingdom is dark, built from the smooth ground with precious obsidian and silver. The trial has always been held at the Square, in the middle of the village. Soon, our carriage rumbled down the jagged streets over dirty pebbles down the less fortunate neighborhood. Here, the houses are in ruins, some of the stones crumbling down over roofs and causing a leak to trickle all over the already damp curtains. Iron buckets were placed on the doors after being emptied from the rain that poured heavy last night. I’ve noticed that some of them had enough gall to try and plant flowers, only to have it wither and die on the small boxes placed on their broken, dirty windowsills.

“Such a hurtful sight to my eyes,” muttered Mother, tone tainted with disgust. Her eyes ran critically over the neighborhood that we passed by every week, though I know beforehand that she thought it unnecessary to mend the slum. They must work their way for money; that’s the only way they’ll repair their hideous homes.

Finally, the carriage rumbled to a stop and the door was opened by our coachman: another goblin, this one grim looking. He bowed at us as we descended the small flight of stairs to the Square, where a crowd has already gathered to witness the trial. Every villager must be present for the trial in respect for the Queen and to see by their own eyes just how cruel the punishment if they dared to cross the line.

We approached the dais in which two thrones—one made of great obsidian, and the smaller one of iron—have been placed atop. Mother took a seat first and the people bowed in her presence, no one daring to meet our eyes. Even when I ascended they feared me too, though whereas Mother was full of glee to have her part of the cruelty of the week, my face remained blank; an expression I’ve long mastered to not give away my true feelings.

Perhaps I used to feel sorry for them when I was young. Remorse on their behalf, even. But now I felt nothing; just a cold abyss robbed of emotions. Perhaps if I were taking a more gleeful perspective, the School Master would consider kicking me out of the School for Good?

With that in thought, I plastered on a smile. Mother looked at me suspiciously but didn’t say anything. She lets the people stay like that for a whole minute, relishing in their tired shoulders, before her voice, cold and loud–like a mallet hitting glass–echoed in the Square: “Rise, my people.”

The people rose. While some of the lords and ladies wealthy enough to live in the richer neighborhood stood at the front lines, smiles on their faces in respect for the Queen are displayed, the peasants standing behind them looked as miserable as ever, their faces powdered with dirt and ash. An awful odor hung in the air—the scent of previous corpses whose lives had been taken here before.

At the center of the Square was a stage, which I think used to be a place to house performances instead of a large, hulking guillotine made of wood with a blade at the top, sharper than any knives. Mother made the blade herself—it never failed to perform a kill filled with blood instead of a clean one, since she loves the idea of the townspeople rubbing off the trickles from the Square’s pavement. The executioner stood ready by the guillotine, his eyes that could barely be seen over the piece of fabric covering half of his face examined a large bucket placed under the killing machine, as though contemplating whether it would hold the heads about to be chopped off today.

There was no law in the kingdom; not really. Mother, true to her Evil, lets the streets roam with beggars and thieves, even murderers. They go unpunished if it was not associated with the nobles or the royal family. Trying to escape, however, holds the same level of crime as both, because it meant abandoning the kingdom and its queen.

A senior goblin stepped forward, wearing a ridiculous cap that Mother insisted they wear for the trial as if the whole setting wasn’t horrific enough. “Your Majesties the Queen Grimhilde and Princess Maeve; may I present to you Hal, a slave who was caught trying to escape from the House of Waldorf in which he was employed,” the goblin announced.

A bulky man with thick muscles up his arms dragged a rope behind him in which a man was tied around the neck and made his way through the crowd for the stage by crawling on his knees. Like an arrow, a strange emotion rose inside me, and I battled it back down, disgusted by myself. Why did I feel that way? My hands twitched against the armrest of my throne, as though it was about to spring forward and save the slave from the dark fate that awaited him.

Beside me, Mother roared, “what do you have to say for yourself, slave?”

Does he not have a name? Even in his last living seconds, he would be known as the disobeying slave—never the man that he was inside. I caught myself with such thoughts and held back a wince. Fingers digging into my palm, I watched as one of the lords stepped forward with a look of hidden pride—perhaps to acknowledge the fact that the slave was his—over a mask of disappointment. He announced, “I shall speak for him, my Queen, for he was a property of mine.”

The Queen gave a curt nod. The Lord continued, “this man was found trying to flee to the woods last night. I say there shall not be mercy for this one!”

In reply, Mother raised a hand, shutting him up. The lord dropped his head under the Queen’s hard gaze. “Let the people decide,” she clipped, her eyes roaming over the audience. “What do you say, my people? Do we spare him?” A glint of mirth danced in her emerald green eyes. “Or do we punish him?”

The crowd roared at the last sentence. It was expected as any, especially with the careful watch of the guards surrounding every corner. Mother gave another nod, and the bulky man marched the slave up the stage, where the executioner was waiting, almost eager. We all waited with bated breath as the man was strapped down to the guillotine hole. I could almost see the executioner’s wicked grin behind his mask when he pulled the blade higher.

My face was blank as stone when the blade fell and the man’s screams filled my ears. The music of pure evil.

#sge #school for good and evil #the school for good and evil #ever after #fairy tale #dark fairy tale #snow white #evil queen #fanfiction

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lentaska · 5 years ago

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Syzygy

Jake Crist/OC/Dave Crist A/N: disfigured oc, third POV, part of an ongoing project This is a work of fan fiction using characters from wrestling, I do not claim any ownership over them. Just tagging people who may wanna have a look... @monstersmaid @thecristsandcallihanmadness @earl-01 @morie-leigh @ohcristimhookedonhavocimsodunne

They saw the creature.

It was carrying a spade, the arms were covered by bandage and branches, black claws took where the hands were. The most horrific part was, it had a head of deer skull with blood dripping down from the two empty eye sockets.

They lowered their bodies and held their breathes, but the smell of fear sold them out.

In the harsh sound of rusty metal, the figure twitched its head to their direction. The forest trembled as all plants started to grow rapidly. When they realized the tree branches were chasing after them like soldiers under order.

They were tied to a giant tree in a posture of sacrifice, the deer-headed creature walked towards them, they were shocked to see it had human’s feet - covered in soil but tiny. A pair of shackles locked around its ankles, with silver chain extended out from woods behind.

“The Crist...” Its garbled growl was mixed with whistle of wind, slow and sharp, “why are you in my forest... again?”

“I-It’s not your forest!” The elder Crist plucked up his courage and argued back with chills running in his blood and spine. Parents had told him countless times about the responsibility of being the elder one, he wanted to protect his little brother.

The creature laughed in a humanoid way, somehow its voice became less strident and disturbing.

“The forest disagrees.” Its tone softened.

Its body sunk into soil. The forest fell into silence.

When the Dave and Jake are free from their wrestling profession, they spend hours and even days on road trips. They have driven on the road of Valley of Fire, visited the Grand Canyon, and camped on Ross Lake. But today is their first time to spend night in a forest. Nervousness and excitement tangled in them. They have prepared well and act cautiously, forest, after all, can be lethal.

The night falls upon them soon after they set tent up. They light campfire, a disturbing noise starts to echo, it sounds like mixture of growl of thousands of beasts and whistle of wind, both Jake and Dave recognize it.

“The monster...” Dave gnashes, “It’s here.”

Jake takes out a pack of bullets, says, “that’s why we prepared for this trip. We need to terminate this nightmare.”

Loading his hunting gun, Dave nods in agreement.

They have lived in nightmare for years. Every time they were close to forest or woodland, the creature’s unique sound echoes by their ears, they’re tired of such torment, so they decided to hunt the the initiator of agony down.

The creature’s spade has no comparison to gunpowder. But when the bullet goes through its shoulder, things go beyond the Crist brothers’ expectation - what the creature makes is dismal whine, rather than beastly roar.

“I don’t feel right.” Jake mumbles, brushing through trees to follow track of blood left behind.

Dave snaps at his words, “the whole thing with that creature is not right.”

At the end of their hunting journey, a figure huddles up in mess, trembling and hissing. The creature crawls back on the ground, mugwort and white bryony grow to surround it, the Crist brothers know this is its self-defense mechanism.

They break the twigs and move forward, every time they are close, more plants burst out of soil. Behind leaves are the creature’s eyes, for the first time, they see green, rather than the empty and blood-dripping eye sockets. It has bewitching green eyes.

- And humanoid.

Eventually, nothing can block their way to the ultimate aim of this trip, Dave and Jake break down the last obstacle, the culprit who brought nightmares is right in front of them, glowing in moonlight with the eerie head of deer skull slightly down, tiny white birch leaves are growing out of the wound on its shoulder. Its figure has never been so clear yet hallucinatory, Dave and Jake are no longer certain about where they are - in reality or a world of dreams. They just stand quietly, as if they are waiting for a prophecy from a superior presence beyond their comprehension. They wished to seek revenge for the trauma, to blame it for all the misfortune and adversity has become their normality even though the majority was not its doing. On the other hand, they never thought they would face it like victors.

“What do we do?” Dave whispers to Jake, hoping he has a clue, unfortunately, the reply is only a hesitated head-shaking.

“I don’t know what is real now. If we tell Sami and Fulton about everything happened, they’re gonna book us a vacation to Cuba for releasing pressure.”

“Sounds nice. Is this the plan now?”

Jake sighs. They take few steps towards the creature, which stands still, the distance is so short that they can hear its gasping. Something in their minds urges them to touch it, to verify its existence, so they stretch out arms.

They hear wind whistling through thickets and branches, rainstorm falls upon lush vegetation, water merges into streams and drips down at the edge of leaves. Crows and swallows skim over lake in front of them, lightning cuts through the sky and illuminates the forest, yet nothing that they just experienced is real. The Crist brothers look into the creature’s green eyes, dizziness drags them down into abyss.

******

A slim figure sits on a log above the lake, bare feet slightly waggling, the heavy shackles on its ankles clang in rhythm. It seems to be holding a peculiar object in arms, when Jake and Dave walks closer, they recognize it as a deer skull - THE deer skull, to be accurate - but this time, no fear rise in them.

“What is this place... Damnit, my head hurts...” Moaning, Dave Crist sits down on one side of the figure, while Jake takes the other side.

Black veil hides the appearance under, but they can tell it’s female. “A dream,” she explains, “mine, yours, doesn’t matter, we share it now.”

“I have been wondering what that thing is since we first met.” Jake points at the shackles on her ankles, the other end of the silver chain hides in bushes.

“A contract between me and forests.”

“What are you looking at?”

She points at a direction afar, “birches were planted over there, where your ancestor lumbered and burned down acres of woodlands.”

Although not sure what she is talking about, Jake craves to continue the conversation, “did they sprout?”

She nods. “They will soon. After twenty years, when you have enough of the exhausting life, take your offspring, walk with then among trees.”

“Hopefully I still can wrestle at 50...” Dave sighs, trying to form that scene in his mind.

A tiny chuckle slips out between her lips, it’s so soft that both Dave and Jake think they have paracusia.

“Walking in woods with children... I can’t imagine that.” Says Jake, “will you scare our offspring like what you did to us?”

“No. The scars of the forest healed.”

Pouts and sulks, Dave starts another round of grumble, “for all the years, we suffered and you didn’t even say sorry...”

“But meanwhile I have become your excuse for obstacle, failure and everything unfortunate.”

The discernment of hers makes the Crist brothers speechless, they sit in silence, until muffled roar reverberates in background. They turn around, the forest is vanishing like a piece of paper burning to ashes. They are about to wake up soon.

“I wanna see your face.” Jake puts the unexpected request on the table, “just in case we forget what happened.”

“You don’t want to.” She sounds downhearted, “I look... scary.”

But Jake insists, so does Dave - the elder Crist even sneers “nothing is scarier than that deer skull”. She takes off the veil, there is one malformed scar snakes its way from hairline and crosses the right side of her face, with burn mark right under her left eye.

“Hey you lied,” Dave pretends to be deceived, “you’re not scary.”

Jake agrees with him, “not at all. You’re a regular girl.”

The last part of this dream collapses in her tearful smile.

******

Dave and Jake sit up and gasp heavily, they are back to the reality. A slim female huddles on the ground in front of them, head resting on the deer skull in her arms, chest slightly rising and falling with even breaths. Despite the scar and burn mark which disfigure her beauty, her soft profile is appealing. When she opens her green eyes, she is surprised to see hands offered by the two Crists.

“Come with us.” Says Jake. “We’re not gonna leave you here.”

“Better to keep an eye on you.” Dave chuckles, “so you won’t scare us again.”

She only hesitates for a moment before taking their hands. The shackles and silver chain break into pieces, she looks back, the tremendous infinity of the forest is illuminated by the first sunshine of dawn, and among grass and dew are few buds.

The birches sprouted.

#oc #Wrestling Fanfic #fanfic #jake crist #dave crist #impact wrestling #project #she is based on leshy btw

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squirrelly831 · 6 years ago

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Unpredictable

Masterlist

Genre: Angst-ish [Only some violence]

Characters: Hyunwoo x Original Character [Elizabeth]

Word Count: 3606

DISCLAIMER: This is purely fiction. It’s not a healthy relationship to be with someone dangerous nor is it a safe choice. Not all of my gang scenarios will end like this one. There will be some that end in a major character death or police involvement. Okay, you may proceed now (:

Liz was at the grocery store. She was still dressed in her work clothes and drained from the long day. She went down each aisle, scratched off the items on her list one by one, and periodically checked her phone. “Hyunwoo, what are you doing?” She groaned as she looked at the little words under her text earlier in the afternoon. Delivered. She put her phone back on the bread in her cart as she continued to stroll as she waited for her fiance to text her. Do you want lasagna? A simple yes or no would suffice, She grew impatient at each minute that ticked away. She hated to go to the store so late, but she needed groceries for the week at least.

Liz gave it another ten minutes before she decided to check-out with the frozen lasagna meal and other bags of food. She grew worried. Hyunwoo was always so good when it came to replies. In the three years they had been together, he was punctual when it came to his replies. She sent a quick group text to their friends after two and even they hadn’t texted her in those next two and a half hours. She headed to her car, a new emotion bubbled up in her system. Worry. Her fingers twitched and itched. She didn’t want to blow up his phone, but she was worried something happened. She pulled her phone from her pocket and called Hyunwoo, but it went straight to voicemail. “Hey babe. Where are you? Did you go out of town again and not tell me again?” She let out a small sigh, “Call me, okay? I’m worried. I love you.” She hung up as she got to her car and unlocked her car. The back trunk went up and she carefully put her bags in the trunk.

“Elizabeth Park?”

Liz turned back at the voice. Two men dressed in all black stood before her. Both were very buff. Her guard went up as she silently cursed that her pocket knife Hoseok, one of her best friends, gave her for protection. She felt intimidated by how close they stood and by the bad vibe they gave off. “Who’s asking?”

The two men locked eyes with one another. The one who spoke smirked and nudged his head to his partner. Liz shut the trunk and cautiously backed away from the two suspicious strangers. The second man reacted. He reached for her and she jumped back.

She let out a scream in hopes she could alert anyone who would be out. She reached for her car door only to be grabbed from behind. “Let me go!” Liz struggled in the arms of the second man as he dragged her back. She kicked the car as she tried to kick back into the man.

“Fuck man, grab her legs.” The second man grumbled.

The first one reached down to capture her legs, but she kneed him in the face. “Bitch!”

She squeezed her eyes shut, gave a quick count to three in her head, and she let her head fall forward before she swung her head back into the second man’s face. He cursed as he let her go and she made her way back towards the store. Screw the car she thought. Men looking like that probably had guns and could blow out her tires or worse… She gulped down the panic as she thought of the other scenario. She could fight in self defense, but only small things. She only took two classes with Hoseok and Changkyun and quit because she didn’t see the point of it. Gotta practice with them again she noted. That was if she could make it to the store that seems miles away. Had she really parked so far from the store? She reached for her phone to call the police when she let out a yelp as she was yanked back by her hair. She was thrown to the concrete ground. Her arms blocked her forehead from impact but her cheek scraped the concrete and she could taste metallic in her mouth from the biting her lip as she fell. She felt burns on her arms and her leg pulsed, but the pain itself was numb. She was pushed to her back on the ground. Her attacker over her. His hands shot out and wrapped against her neck as another pair of hands pressed a cloth over her mouth and nose. She reached up and scratched him, but it only made his grip grow tighter around her neck. As the lack of oxygen began to affect her faster than the cloth of chloroform, her arms laid limp. Her eyes blurred and her struggles ceased. Half conscious, she felt the rush of air reenter her lungs. The cloth removed and the man got off her as she heard the muffled voices of the two men before she succumbed to unconsciousness.

She woke to the screech of the metal door scrap against the concrete floor. Her eyes moved behind her eyelids, her lids too heavy to open. Her body ached and felt like a heavy pressure was over it.

“Rise and shine, sweetheart” the sound of something hitting metal sounded above her before she was doused by ice cold water.

The heaviness she once felt was yanked from her as she jerked up from the sudden unpleasant coldness that overtook. Elizabeth had no time to adjust as she was yanked off the concrete floor like a rag doll. She stumbled forward as she tried to regain her balance only to be yanked out the room. Her capture led her into a warehouse. Her body wobbled as she walked on. Her mind fuzzy from the rude awakening. Her body screamed in pain from her legs to her arms.

“Boss, Sleepin Beauty is awake” her capture called out. There was a muffled frantic reply.

Elizabeth was wide awake at the sound of heavy boots stomped towards them. A man entered Elizabeth’s view. He was tall and muscular. He had cuts and bruises on his knuckles and arms, but what caught Elizabeth’s attention the most was the blood, dried and fresh, that stained his clothes and hands. The man noticed her heavy gaze and gave a wide eerie smile, “Oh, this isn’t mine.” He held her gaze. The darkness in his eyes were like black holes. It felt like she was spiralling into them that she had to look away in terror. The man chuckled at her reaction before he turned his back to them and waved two fingers in the air for them to follow.

If adrenaline was going to kick it, it was going to kick at that moment. It was do or die. Elizabeth thrashed in her kidnapper’s arms. Her kidnapper wrapped his arm around her chest to restrain her. She took that opportunity to bite down on the man’s arm. The man let out a holler as he loosened his grip. Elizabeth took the chance and escaped his grip. She stumbled a bit, but caught herself from falling. Her head buzzed just slightly from the drugs that lingered in her system, but she darted off towards one of the doors to make her escape.

A shot rang out and Elizabeth skidded to a halt. Her legs betrayed her as she hit the slick concrete. “That’s quite enough outta you, princess.” The boss sneered. He made his way to her. Her kidnapper was nursing his bleeding arm. The boss stopped, “You’re pathetic.” In a quick motion, his arm shot out towards his minion with his gun in hand and he pulled the trigger.

Elizabeth’s heart leaped out her chest as a second gunshot sounded and the sound of a heavy object hit the ground. She didn’t need to look back to see what made that sound. She just knew. Though her mind told her to run, she squeezed her eyes shut afraid to look back at the body on the ground. The fear of what she was involved in was surreal. Why had they kidnapped her?

The boss made his way to her, “Let’s go back this way.” He tugged her arm, but she remained unmoved. His lips twisted as he pointed his gun at her and he pulled back the hammer. The click made her eyes open, “I’ll only say it nicely one time. Move.” He yanked her up and she followed him fearfully. As they walked back the way they came, Elizabeth caught sight of the dead kidnapper. Her stomach twisted as she watched the blood gather together. The boss continued to pull her without the slightest twinge of guilt. “Shownu!” He called out as he led her to a man who was tied and beaten in a chair. His head covered with a sandbag. “We brought you a little” the boss eyed Elizabeth, “well let’s call it a little motivation. On your knees, angel.” He turned his direction to Elizabeth and waved his gun towards her.

Elizabeth took in a shaky breath as she got on her knees in front of the beaten man. The questions spun around in her head as she watched the boss walk away from her towards the man beaten. He tore off the bag and revealed her boyfriend. Her tearfilled eyes widened, “Hyunwoo” she whimpered. Hyunwoo’s eyes reflected the fear in her own.

The boss let out a wicked laugh, “You should be more of a gentleman, Shownu” he taunted as he pulled off his muffle. “Greet your girlfriend.”

Hyunwoo tore his eyes from Elizabeth and towards the boss, “You bastard.”

The boss swung and punched Hyunwoo in the face. Elizabeth flinched at the sound of bones cracking and she looked back at Hyunwoo. Blood dripped from his obvious broken nose. Elizabeth felt sick as she watched the blood. “You got some nerve. I was going to let your girl watch you die, but I changed my mind.” He stalked over to Elizabeth.

“Joon, don’t touch her!” Hyunwoo tried to break the rope that held him down.

Elizabeth’s lips quivered as she scooted back against the concrete, “Hyunwoo…”. Joon smirked as he grabbed her by the upper arm. “Please, don’t do this.” Elizabeth cried silently as she pleaded.

Joon put away his gun and grabbed a pocket knife and held it to her throat. His other arm twisted around Elizabeth’s arms to prevent her from escape, “You’ll get a front seat to watch your girl bleed, Shownu.”

Elizabeth met Hyunwoo’s eyes before she squeezed her eyes shut prepared for her demise. The next moment, Joon’s arm loosened before he released her completely and he hit the ground.

“Run for cover, Lizzy!” Hyunwoo shouted. Elizabeth’s eyes opened and she looked around. At her feet lay Joon with a bullet hole between his eyes. “Lizzy, now!” The sound of feet and gun fires began. Elizabeth looked up at Hyunwoo unsure what to do. The restraints on Hyunwoo could be easily cut with the knife Joon held. Her eyes went to the strown knife-- “I’ll be fine. If they catch you, they’ll kill you.”

Elizabeth was pulled from her thoughts. She picked up the knife just as more gunshots rang. She ducked, but one grazed her arm. “Fuckin--!” Hyunwoo shouted, “GET OUT OF HERE, DUMBASS!”

The anger in his voice was enough for Elizabeth to turn her back on him and run behind a set of boxes as the gunshots muted her cries. She pressed her hands to her ears to try to tune out the bullets. The metal handle of the knife pressed against her cheek. Guilt consumed her as she thought of Hyunwoo in that chair. In the middle of the now battlefield. The knife in her hand felt like it was burning into her. A hand touched her and startled her. She let out a shriek and jumped with the knife pointed out.

“It’s okay. Relax, it’s just us” the hand touched hers again as her eyes flew open. Before her was Hyungwon and Kihyun, her best friend. Kihyun took the pocket knife from her with ease as Hyungwon kept guard with gun in hand. “We need to get you out of here, come.” Elizabeth took his hand and he pulled her up.

“Ki, what’s go--” Hyungwon started firing off bullets at an approaching enemy from the right as he shielded them. The words died in at her lips. Escape first questions later.

They took off to the nearest exit when an enemy shot a bullet in the opposite direction. “Shit!” Hyungwon grabbed his second gun from his back pocket and shot at both sides. “You guys go on. Jooheon has the car ready. Go!”

Kihyun threw open the door to the outside world. The was no more sun, but the full moon lit the area. Scattered about was bodies of enemies, about ten. Elizabeth momentarily froze as the body count continued to rise before her. Her mind spun. She ran into enough dead bodies for a lifetime. Her eyes scanned each man, did her friends do this? If they did, how? How did they even know what was going on?

“Don’t shut down on me now, Lizzy.” Kihyun’s voice was muffled. Elizabeth’s eyes glazed over. “Lizzy!” He shook her shoulders.

Jooheon raced over to them, “We don’t have time for this, Kihyun.” He swooped down and picked up the Elizabeth. Kihyun and Jooheon then headed back to the car. Kihyun opened the back door and Jooheon placed Elizabeth in the back before he shut the door. The two hopped into the front seats, Jooheon started the car, and he sped off.

Elizabeth was at an unfamiliar home. Jooheon left her with Kihyun as he went back to the hideout. Kihyun checked over her wounds. Scrapes and dried blood with a couple of bruises on her legs, arms and face, but it was nothing that caused him concern. He cleaned the dried blood and added some disinfectant.

Elizabeth watched him work in silence. She didn’t feel like she was trapped inside her head any longer. “Tell me, Kihyun.” He tensed at his name. She never used his full name unless she was mad. “What was all that? Why do you guys know how to use a gun? Who were those people? Is Hyu--”

Kihyun pressed his hand on her mouth, “I’ll explain, but you need to relax. If you keep rushing out questions, you’re going to overwhelm yourself. Okay?” She gave a small nod and he removed his hand. He sat beside her on Hyunwoo’s bed and told her the hidden truth of Hyunwoo and the people she considered her closest friends.

Kihyun left her in Hyunwoo’s room to process everything alone. Elizabeth was on his bed with a pillow hugged against her and took in his scent. She took a deep breath of his smell as she stared at the picture frame on the nightstand. Hyunwoo had his arms wrapped around her waist. Their faces close enough that they looked like they were about to kiss. She shook her head and buried her head in his pillow. Hyunwoo was in a gang. Not only in a gang, but the leader of one. None of it made sense, yet it all made sense. Why he worked odd nights after he just got home from work. Why he came home with splatters of blood or injuries. It all made so much sense. Her adrenaline slipped and her eyes grew heavy as she thought about Hyunwoo. How injured he was in that chair and how frightened he looked when he saw her and knew that she now knew his well kept secret.

“Izzy…” a voice whispered in her ear. “Lizzy, wake up” with a small shake, Elizabeth’s eyes fluttered open. Kihyun kneeled in front of her with a cautious smile, “Everyone else is here.”

Her ears perked, “Everyone? Then Hyunwoo is--” She sat up in the bed. Kihyun nodded and in an instant Elizabeth was out of the bed. Her heavy footsteps echoed behind her as she flew out of the room. There was one thing on her mind. No, there was one person on her mind. She ran down the flight of stairs and paused. She turned to the living room to see Hyunwoo with his head in hands and their friends on the chairs and sofa near him. He was shirtless with bandages covering most of his torso. She panted as she looked at her Hyunwoo. “Hyunwoo…” She called out breathlessly.

Hyunwoo tensed as he looked up at her. He took a breath and stood prepared for the worse. He had kept a secret from her. A major secret. A secret that almost gotten her killed. He was prepared for her to say she wanted to leave. He wouldn’t stop her. He had no right.

Tears huddled in the corner of her eyes prepared to fall if she blinked, Elizabeth ran to him, jumped, and wrapped her arms around his neck, “You’re okay.” She let out a shaky breath. “You’re really okay.”

No one said anything as they watched the scene play out. Hyunwoo froze under her delicate touch She was on her tiptoes as she hugged him. Her arms radiated warmth. He could feel wetness on his unbandaged chest. His hands reacted and wrapped around her to pull her even closer to him if possible. One hand around her back that helped her hold on him and the other threaded through her hair. In the corner of his eye, he saw the others sneak out of the room to give them a moment alone. He silently thanked them as he felt Lizzy’s arms slowly unwind from him. Her warmth left him the moment her arms let him go. Hyunwoo looked down and met her eyes before he scanned the rest of her face. A bruise and scrapes along her left cheek tattooed her beautiful face. Her lip scabbed over in a corner. His thumb touched the wound on her lip and she winced a bit. “Sorry.” He finally spoke.

Her heart instantly fluttered any doubt melted. This was Hyunwoo. Her Hyunwoo. “It’s okay. It takes a lot more than this to keep me down.” She replied. Her voice quivered. She didn’t know why she tried to act stronger than she felt. In all honesty, she still wanted to cry and to hit Hyunwoo for all the problems he put her through. Hyunwoo moved from her and slumped on the couch. Elizabeth kneeled in front of him in worry, “Are you hurting? Should I get the others?”

Hyunwoo’s head fell forward and tears dripped on his knees. Elizabeth touched his hands. He could swear he felt her love just in the palm of his hands. “I was so scared.” He cleared his throat of the lump that formed. “I thought I could keep you safe from that part of my life and I almost lost you.”

Her hands squeezed his. Her own tears returned, “I was scared too… but not much from the idea of dying, but the idea of you having to live with that memory.”

His blood shot eyes met hers, “You can leave. I won’t blame you or try to stop you. It’s not safe being with me. Especially now that my enemies know about you.” He gulped. “A lot of Joon’s men escaped and they’ll come looking for us again. They’d leave you alone if you--”

Elizabeth pulled away and made an ‘x’ with her arms. “Not happening. Don’t even want to hear it. We’re stuck together.” She flashed him the engagement on her finger as if to emphasize her point.

“Lizzy, I’m seri--”

“As am I” her eyes narrowed. “I’d only break up with you if I fell out of love with you or vice versa. So, did you? Do you not love me?”

Hyunwoo huffed, “Of course not, but th--”

Elizabeth shrugged, “Then there’s no problems.” Hyunwoo was about to speak up, “I’m not leaving. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely pissed off that you kept this a secret and put me in danger because if I knew all of this” she extended her arms to motion to the room, “I would have done my part and kept myself on guard more. I would have take Hoseok and Changkyun’s self defense a lot more serious and I would have learned how to bandage wounds.” She let out an exaggerated sigh, “Now, I have to learn about all this… Maybe Youtube will have some notes on bandaging wounds. I’ll need the guys to teach me how to defend myself and to use my pocket knife.” She pressed her fingers to her temple as she continued to list the new things she needed to do.

Hyunwoo looked confused. It was definitely not the response he had expected from her. He laughed unexpectedly. Elizabeth stopped her conversation to herself and stared at him as if he had a third head. Hyunwoo winced from the injuries but his laughter only continued. She was unpredictable and it was something he loved the most about her. He pulled her in between his legs as his laughter died. His arms wrapped around her and his head tucked itself in the crook of her neck. “I love you.”

Elizabeth ran her hand through his hair, “I love you more.”

He leaned up to her face. His lips just a breath apart, “I don’t think that’s possible.”

Her lips twitched into a smile, “Shut up.” He pressed his lips to hers. Her hands held both sides of his face as if in fear he would disappear if she didn’t.

-Written by Squirrelly831; gif by respected owner

If you like my work please like and share it!

#monsta x #monsta x scenarios #monsta x gang #hyunwoo #hyunwoo scenario #shownu #shownu scenario #kpop #kpop scenario #kpop gang scenario #kpop gang au

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crucialandinert · 7 years ago

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Intruder

happy birthday, @joycecarolnotes -- and thank you so much for the prompt. Please forgive my terrible Richard, I have no idea what makes dude tick and, i’ve never written him before, but, i tried.

He could have turned it to the wall, he supposed. But that would have been the easy way out, and Jared was not one to pamper his weaknesses. He didn’t spend hours staring at it or anything, although maybe he should have to toughen himself, but when its gaze burned through him as he entered the server room, or caught his eye while he was getting dressed – the instant pressure on his chest, how he could suddenly hear his heartbeat in his ears – these were things quietly to be borne.

After all, the incident with the intruder had really been a blessing in disguise, hadn’t it? When you know, truly know, that your life can end at any moment, and you close your eyes, dissolve to nothing but the hush of your breath, truly surrender your soul to fate – why, in that moment you become free. You can be startled, you can be anxious, you can be filled with longing, wishfulness, at times discontent (that will be sternly and swiftly dealt with) but you can never really be afraid, deeply afraid, again. All that you had to lose, you’ve already lost. You walk among the others like a ghost; they have more colors, are brighter, warmer, grasp and cling and tear at life, while you look on and hold lightly to the earth, the sole inhabitant of a world they cannot see.

Richard was worried, and there was no one he could tell. Piperchatting with his mom was out of the question, because he could never tell her the whole story. Everyone else in the house, while not exactly more incapable of coping with human emotions than him – he was the undisputed champ there – definitely didn’t even approach the threshold of “any use at all.” Except, of course for Jared, and he was the one Richard was worried about.

Jared said things Richard didn’t know what to make of all the time. The most he ever found himself saying in reply was “What?” – and then desperately hoping there wouldn’t be an answer and he could forget about it again. He wasn’t sure exactly why Jared said these things. It didn’t seem like he wanted anything in particular from the group. He would just kind of drop something incomprehensibly awful into the room and smile, and go about his business. Great, you had to pretend a plastic bag with a drawn-on face was a teddy bear when you were a kid. What am I supposed to do with that? Don’t you realize how weird you’re making everybody feel? The best thing, the only thing, to be done was to ignore it.

But Richard had finally run headfirst into something he couldn’t ignore: Ed Chambers. Sure, Jared had referred to him as his “fictional” supervisor, but absolutely nothing else about what he’d said or how he’d acted seemed to indicate the guy knew Ed wasn’t real. That couldn’t be a good sign. Maybe Richard should have paid more attention when Jared had his outburst at Gavin’s house. That had been far out of character for someone so mild, so harmless – someone who could be charitable even to the rats they still hadn’t quite gotten around to exterminating from where he slept. And now this. Richard tried for a moment to convince himself that Jared was just kidding. That would be a good way to get himself to stop worrying about it, but he knew it was a lie. There was a blankness behind Jared’s eyes when he talked about Ed that frightened Richard. Maybe they were pushing him too far, too much stress? Did Jared have a breaking point – he’d never thought so. Or maybe this was it. Or maybe there was something worse coming, something it was up to Richard to prevent.

Richard padded down the hall and knocked a tiny, one-knuckle knock on Dinesh’s bedroom door. Thumping sounds and scrambling ensued for an awkwardly attenuated moment, then Dinesh opened the door a crack. “What do you want, Richard?”

“I – I was wanting to talk to you for a couple minutes? About this Ed Chambers thing, with Jared, you saw that, right?”

Dinesh swallowed imperceptibly. Had they been even vaguely directed toward him, he would not have been able to meet Richard’s eyes.

“Yeah, I did. What about it? He’s a weird dude, we all know that.”

“Do you – did you happen to see how it got started? You were with him in the kitchen that time.”

“No, I don’t know how it got started. Maybe that’s how he gets all those girls. Who understands why Jared does anything. Now if you'll excuse me, I’m trying to get to sleep.” Dinesh yanked the door shut with a peevish thunk.

Richard headed back to his room and scaled his loft bed, fretfully. That was dumb, to have expected Dinesh to be any help. Or to give a shit. Richard contemplated asking Erlich for a moment, but didn’t think he could stomach the pompous lecture about Jared’s true two-faced corporate nature finally coming to the fore or something. Gilfoyle was completely out of the question. No, he was truly alone. Without Jared, to ask for help dealing with Jared, so he could ask for help to deal with Jared… he would be stuck in an infinite recursive loop.

Richard stared at the ceiling. Maybe it was something simple. Maybe Jared just wasn’t sleeping again. He didn't have those awful dark circles, the ones that made his eyes seem so blue they glowed, that he'd displayed during the “let’s pivot” incident; but there were probably several stages of sleep deprivation along the road to that and maybe one of them was sometimes believing you’re a guy who could “do it” to Sonia Sotomayor.

Ed knew he shouldn't have let that pussy Jared handle the broadband bill situation. He'd meekly tried to bring it to Richard's attention in that gay ballerina way of his, but one "Fuck off, Mom," and Jared just let it go! What a faggot. Someone that helpless, someone who let others treat him that way, shouldn't be trusted with anything; God only knew what Richard saw in the dude. Fucking useless. So, that morning, Ed had had to be the one to go down to the Xfinity storefront and get it taken care of. Got them a sweet discount while he was there, too -- Jared was the kind of loser who always paid full price. Or even more, probably. They could smell him coming. Someone who it was irresistible -- hell, it was fun -- to take advantage of.

He shook his head, and gunned the engine of the Chevy Volt. Ed was hungry -- cleaning up Jared's bullshit had made him late for lunch. He wondered what Jared was having -- with one hand on the wheel, he shot him a quick text. But who the fuck was this lady in front of him in the 10-year-old Camry? Was she fucking blind? This was the third light in a row she'd been dozing on green, he'd been trying to pass her for blocks -- she was one of those drivers who go so fucking slow you can't even get around them, and he was stuck.

Ed felt his blood pressure rise. He mashed the horn, stopped just short of yelling, "Come the fuck on, lady!" But she still didn't move. Was she deaf too?The light was green! Ed was sick of this bitch in his fucking way. He punched the horn again -- vaguely he noticed room had opened up on the left to drive around her, but now this was personal. He had to get this bitch to move. I know, Ed thought, I'll wake her up, and he gave the gas a little tap, making the motor roar. He'd intended to stop just short of her bumper, give her a scare, more the noise than anything else -- but slamming on the brake with a heavy lurch, he made contact by mistake, just barely.

Jared's head jerked forward, shocking him back to himself, as he felt his bumper make contact with the car ahead. His eyes widened. He hadn't even noticed the white Camry in front of him -- must have zoned out again while he was driving, it'd been happening to him a lot lately. He should have done something -- what, he wasn't sure -- about it long before now, it was putting others in danger! Why, he was no better than someone who would text and drive, and Jared would never think of doing that. But there would be time later to excoriate himself. Jared fumbled at the door handle and launched out of the car toward the other driver, already digging for his wallet and insurance card.

A motherly Asian woman emerged from the midsize sedan, took one look at Jared, and immediately started to try and calm him down. "I'm sorry -- I'm so, so sorry! I don't know what came over me, I'm never this careless, this inattentive-" His hands fluttered around him, a storm of gawky dismay that took legions of "honey, I'm fines," "it was nothings," a somewhat stern, "no, I don't think we should tell our insurance companies, I'm sorry but I insist -- you don't want to raise our rates, do you? Ok then, you don't want to raise MY rates," and one, "Just sit for a moment -- here, why don't you take one of my son's waters -- no, really, I have a whole six-pack -- look, I'm starting to get kind of frustrated here," to finally bring them to rest.

It was a good twenty minutes spent alternating sips from a tiny plastic bottle, some light sniffles, and a face hidden in bewildered hands, before Jared felt composed enough to try and drive home.

Now it was Richard who hadn't gotten enough sleep. That was nothing odd; he'd tried to take his usual approach, flog himself awake with caffeine, get some work done and forget about it. But as the day wore on, his overclocked brain couldn't be corralled from wandering to thoughts of his head of business development's earnest blue eyes, as he told Richard that he'd fired someone who didn't exist. It was just -- crazy. Number one, if Ed was Jared's supervisor, how was that even supposed to work?

Richard shook his can of Redbull, found it empty, yanked his headphones off, and stamped out into the kitchen. It occurred to him -- he should look around the server room to see if he could find something that might be messing up Jared's sleep. There could be noises, leaks, something could have infiltrated the ecosystem as an apex predator to the rats -- who knows, because Jared would never have complained.

It was staring him in the face the moment he walked in.

Shit! Shit, shit – oh shit. The Gavin picture. Duh. Jared had balked at having it in there, but then said something about an intruder being good for him? Richard had checked out, mentally. Maybe Jared hadn’t actually been as sunnily fine as he seemed this time, and having the picture in his room was keeping him awake. And of course... the weird anger outburst had been about Gavin. Richard felt like he was suddenly seeing in the third dimension. Jared wasn’t just an eternally buoyant, strangely maternal accessory for Richard to lean on without much thought. He was… vulnerable. He needed protection. From Richard. Richard had to do protection. Protection, a thing which would have to be done by Richard. A familiar quaver arose in his innards. Either there had been cilantro in that microwave burrito or -- Richard was scared.

By the time he got back to the hostel, a slight tiredness behind the eyes was all that remained of the afternoon's unpleasantness. The only content of Jared's mind was an eagerness to get back to work; he was behind on what he'd hoped to get accomplished over the weekend. A quick peep at his watch revealed that he no longer had time for lunch -- and, that his heart rate had returned to normal, so that was good. Now to grab his laptop from the server room and get down to it.

But -- Jared found himself stopping short moments away from reaching for the doorknob. Right before opening a door is the most important time to be alert and use “the gift of fear,” as described in a self-help book about tuning into your survival signals that Jared hadn’t actually needed to read, as it turned out. And it seemed to be time to unwrap that gift. Jared had heard something. He had definitely heard something. Something larger than even the largest of the rats. Something... human. Perhaps an intruder had finally gotten in through the garage door – the possibility of which, along with the complete and utter lack of insulation, was among the slight drawbacks of living in the server room.

What to do, what to do. If there were an intruder, he certainly wouldn’t keep to the server room once he discovered there was nothing of value among Jared’s possessions. No, he would be coming through that door to menace the rest of the house, possibly armed. Erlich, Dinesh and Gilfoyle were all out having lunch with Jian-Yang’s visiting parents -- or, more saliently, at Jian-Yang’s parents’ expense. Jian-Yang himself had requested that Jared not partake in the invitation, as ghosts are taken much more seriously in his family’s region of mainland China then they are in the U.S.. A perfectly reasonable request.

Jared didn’t know if Richard had ended up going with them, or was in his room with his headphones on, deep in concentration, but he certainly wasn’t about to take chances. The only thing to do would be to come in strong and startle the intruder. Even if he did discharge his firearm in fright, he would certainly take to his heels and flee back the way he had come. Intruders were nothing if not cowards. Sure, there was a slim possibility of the intruder being a decent shot, but, one must take calculated risks in life. Avanti.

Jared took one last deep breath, grabbed the doorknob, and launched himself through the doorway with a full-throated Apache yawp – directly into chaos. Out of a squeal, a crash, the tinkling of what – thank gosh in heaven! – turned out to have been safety glass, he was horrified to see tumble – Richard, clutching a large, torn piece of Gavin's image in his hand! Overcome, Jared flew to his side, patting hands trying to reassure themselves that Richard was still in one piece, tangling with flapping wings of high-quality giclee art-photo paper, until at length, Jared was successfully fended off. He sank down on his cot, one splayed hand trying to push back a heart which seemed to be struggling to fly out of his chest back to the other man.

“Richard! What were you doing? You frightened me to death – I thought you were an intruder! I'm so sorry, I can't apologize enough -- What a repulsive show of aggression-– ”

“No – no, Jared, it’s OK. I was just… Well I thought, what are we really keeping this thing for anyway? I have a picture of the formula on my phone. It was just a fuck-you gift from that jerk… and I thought, given the way – you know, how you didn’t like Gavin very much – maybe it was making you uncomfortable?”

What it’s like, is it’s like this: There is a knife in your guts. You were stabbed a long time ago, and, to prevent more damage, you mustn’t remove the knife without the aid of a doctor, but -- you can’t get to one, none even exist. So, to survive, you must move just so, carefully, you must become adroit at flowing through things at just the right distance so as never allow the handle to knock or tap anything around you. At night, you will never really quite sleep, even if you are unconscious, as you must continue to hold the knife in and never relax your vigilance, or everything else will spill out.

It’s all right. You’re so used to it, it hardly even registers. But oh – then oh, someone does a kindness, and they don’t mean to, they’re not twisting the knife, oh far from that – but they’re tapping it. They don’t know, but they’re tapping it, shifting it ever so slightly, sending a pang through you, destabilizing things, just a little. The threshold is low: They invite you somewhere. Tap -- you’re swept with anguish; someone wants you around, not to do anything for them, but truly wants you there. They compliment you on something you wore. Tap -- your eyes will never leave the floor again; somehow they looked at you and could stand it; somehow, they didn’t find you hideous.

Or, the hardest one -- they notice that you are in pain.

Hope and despair aren’t opposites; they are one and the same. Both grab your head and twist it around to look at what you lack, what you’ve always lacked. One says, you’ll never get it, and one says, maybe one day you will, but both are portals to the same essential void, and both can crack you, shatter you like glass. And those moments, when you are given a tiny bit of it, when the knife is grasped however gently, are like that too. They are every moment when you needed, needed so desperately, and were alone; all played at once like an avant-garde symphony for infinite radios.

“Jared. Jared, hey. You look like you’re a million miles away, uh... buddy.”

Jared’s gaze returns, and focuses on the childlike figure before him. The sweet face, soft coppery hair in curls and waves, diffident shoulders. The blue eyes looking uncertainly up at him, that always make Jared want to draw Richard close, shelter him in his arms from the slings and arrows of his audaciously-sought fortune – but selfishly, had also made him want just to be close to a soul so vulnerable, yet so incongruously brave. He shifted his eyes downward. Soon, they would be drowning in tears, to be sent on their way silently down his cheeks, and he mustn’t let Richard see.

“Oh Richard, I’m just so touched – that you would give any consideration at all to my silly preferences. You have so much on your mind, so many stressors these days, I hope you won’t waste another moment –”

There's a tug-of-war in Richard’s heart. Part of him is dying to flee, counting down the nanoseconds like an atomic clock until all this weirdness can just be over, be over. But another, smaller, part is lifting his eyes to look at Jared – Jared who’s crying – Jared who’s breaking, and Richard doesn’t want him to break.

Something that’s never happened in their relationship to date then happens – Richard moves a step closer.

“No way man. You’re a – we’re a team, you know, and we’re all stressed out, this shit is insane, and, and me – me I’m supposed to be the leader, right – I should – I should be looking out for you. And the rest of the guys.”

A small pat is launched, makes it halfway through the intervening air, but is thought better of and recalled. Secretly, Jared is grateful.

“OK so uh – we should clean that up, but, later maybe? I think – maybe you could take a nap or something, you can always use more sleep, can’t you Jared, ha ha.” Jared nods numbly as Richard makes his exit.

Slowly, he folds himself small on his cot, facing into the hanging clothes. Moments in closets, hiding to varying degrees of success, come and go through his mind, as Jared’s tears proceed at a slow, but stalwart pace. It’s as if he holds his own heart in his cupped hands, as he would an injured bird, and turns it, observing its wounds. There is a feeling of opening outward, unfurling a night sky silvered with tiny stars, that spreads out where a void ought to be. It hurts, but he can feel something growing; as he continues to breathe, he discovers he can hold the pain safely. There’s a word in his head, he notices, whispering itself ever so softly. The word is... “maybe.”

#jcn #birthday prompt #good god that's long #NWAAMT #my fic

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bonchanbubbles · 8 years ago

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Poisoned Melody (Drama version)

Title: Poisoned Melody (Drama version) Chapter: 1/3 Characters: Ryu Jun Yeol, Park Shin Hye, Kim Taeri, Lee Jongsuk, Junsu, Jinhyuk Genre: Vampire AU, Fantasy Romance, Angst Author: Bonchan Disclaimer: This story is just fiction. I only own the plot. Main characters aren’t mine. Summary: Junyeol used to enjoy drinking every girl's blood who's in love with him. But what happened when his addiction changed after visiting a late stadium cancer patient who often played harmonica every night?

A/N: This fanfiction is dedicated for my two beloved sista who are currently suffered by happybeans virus LOL xD

POISONED MELODY (1/3)

a rover in a dark night show life is a hollow grave bloody ground run from the sun stings burns exchange with the moon kisses flow once you tempted can’t go

They run hand in hand in a dark alley at a downtown with racing breaths. The male one looked back then stopped when he noticed there was no one chasing them anymore, “It‟s okay, Taeri. None of your father’s men are following us now.”

Taeri gasped repeatedly, tried to catch her breath. She looked at the taller male with teary eyes “Junyeol, please take me with you. I don‟t want to marry with someone I don't lo—“

“Shhhh….”, he cut her words by attaching his finger to the female‟s red lip. He cupped her cheeks his cold hands and whispered something with his sooting voice, “Calm down, sweety! I can't risk your life being together with me by abandoning your family.”

Taeri shook her head then hugged the male in a tight embrace. Her tears flew crazily as the fear of losing her lover was too much for her, “No, Junyeol. Please take me. I can‟t live without you.”

Junyeol rubbed her back to comfort her and attached his pale cheek to her silky browny hair, “Taeri-ah…., do you love me?”, He whispered.

Taeri nodded, “So much. As much as I can sacrifice my life to be with you”. She loosened her embrace and looked at him. The latter then caressed her cheek to wipe the remained tears gently, “Thank you”, he said as they locked their gaze intensely then slowly he closed the gap between them.

Taeri closed her eyes welcoming the heated kiss from her secret lover. She carressed his sharp jaw and let their tongues dancing passionately like there’s no tomorrow. She let her lover removed her blazer. She didn't care the cold air intruding her spines as he started nibbing her neck. She let out a scream of the sudden pleasure she got when he started to bite her. Her brown orbs rolled in ecstasy for a moment before a sharp stinging pain pierced her skin deeply, “Junyeol-ah…”.

She tightened her grip on Junyeol’s shoulders, tried to pushed the latter but failed. She heard a sound of the male sucking the blood out from her neck. Her head started to feel dizzy due to the sudden low blood pressure. She felt her body's going numb in seconds until her lover freed her body to the wet ground.

Her eyesight became vague that she hardly see the man was standing before her. She tried to lift a hand but didn’t have any energy left. Just before everything became black around her, she managed to hear a whisper, “Thanks for your endless love, Taeri…”

***

Junyeol stared at the lifeless body that laid in front of him with no expression as if the woman had never be in his life before. He wiped the remaining blood on his lip with his thumb then licked it. All saids were true. The blood of a human in love was way more delicious than regular human blood. It‟s sweet, densed, and full of energy.

He could drink it in every once in a while because that kind of blood was not only delicious but also presented satiety to hold his hunger for almost a month. But drinking the blood from the woman who’s crazy in love with him had become a sort of addiction with no end.

He had adventured from one place to another in every period of times. Had been nonstop seducing every young woman who was falling over heels to him. He didn't regret nor feel any guilty, because for him, they’re all died in love.

For Junyeol, human were only a source for a life essence. Never he addressed a feeling for them even a bit. All his acts, the sweet talks, and the passionate kisses were fake. It‟s just like a little game for him. He praised his kind as the strongest creature behind the thickness of the night realm. He didn’t know there was something else that could play beyond his might. Fate.

It’s all started when he passed a forest as a shortcut to the nearest city to meet his new lover. He heard a melodic sound. It's quite slow, sometimes faintly heard by ordinary human but for Junyeol, he could hear it very clearly. It’s a sound from a harmonica.

It’s not like he either liked that song or tempted to know whos the player but there’s something in that song that felt like it could suck him into its tiny pointed holes. For the first time he managed to ignore it and passed the forest successfully even though it’s quite hard to hold the urge for looking back. He did the same for the second too.

But for the third times, it's not like he wanted to go to the forest purposely. He did try to choose the other way to reach the city but that song was even riding the wind and echoing its sound so far to his castle. He couldn’t deny it anymore so he decided to take a peek.

He jumped against gravitation easily from one top branch of a tree to another towards a house at the edge side of the forest. That sounds came from the top floor.

When he jumped to the balcony, and saw a female sat on her bed, playing a harmonica. He felt a sudden rise of his heartbeats. He didn’t know why. As far as he knew, vampires had a much slower pulse than normal human. That‟s why the hunger of blood that contained a lot of oxygen was so severe for his kind. So it’s almost impossible to feel that way.

He closed his eyes. That melodic sound slowly intruded into his body through his spines, like penetrating his soul. He wasn't sure why it felt more tempting than the blood from the human in love which he favored the most.

“Who are you?”

His eyes opened fastly as the song stopped, more like he was just awakened from a strange trance. He didn't realize that the door was already opened as he stood face to face towards the player.

Her body was so much smaller than him. Pale and skinny. Her orbs looked very dark. Beautiful yet empty at the same time. Her black hair fell nicely behind her ears, framing her small face. The room was quite dark, but even with only the help from the dimly moonlight, Junyeol could tell that the female was beyond beautiful than all his previous victim.

“I asked you who are you? What are you doing here?”, If she meant to be mad at him for sneaking in without permission, her voice was too delicate yet so weak.

“I… I heard the song you‟re playing. So I came and jumped… here”, Junyeol never sweated but he wondered why he felt his lacked body fluids wanted to get out from his pores waiting for the female‟s reaction.

She laughed, more like small chuckles, “You jumped here? Are you a fox?”. There was something in her smile that could make Junyeol forgot who they were to each other. He never got this tempted to kiss human’s lip before.

“What’s your name?”

“Ryu... Junyeol”, he answered with his usual deep voice.

She offered a hand, “I am Shinhye. Park Shinhye.”

Junyeol took her hand. The moment their skin touched, he could feel some statics. He knew this kind of feeling. He experienced it a way long ago. He knew this was against the vampire rules to develop a feeling towards his victim. But this was beyond his control, “Your song is beautiful”.

Shinhye smiled, “Thank you. Jongsukie gave me this harmonica so I won‟t feel bored.”

“Is Jongsukie your friend?”

After he asked that question, he noticed a faint blushed on the female as the latter nodded shyly, “Yes. He‟s my friend”. 'So she has a crush’, he thought. For a moment, there‟s a feeling of a disappointment from him.

“I have another song to play. Can you help me to choose which the best song I have to play for tomorrow‟s prom night?”

Junyeol’s lip automatically curved a smile, “Sure.”

****

A day had passed. That night Junyeol was crossing the forest with an easy feeling because he planed to give his last dead kiss to his new girlfriend named Seohyun. But he immediately stopped midway when he heard a familiar harmonica’s sounds again.

He thought Shinhye went to the prom night like she said the day before. A sudden urge to come to her house was coming again. Junyeol didn‟t know which one that made him so addicted toward something humane like this, was it the song or the player?

Just like before, he jumped off to the balcony and once again the door wasn‟t locked. Since they already knew to each other so he got in without a single knock to surprise the female.

The said female did look shocked and stopped her play immediately once she saw Junyeol. But there's something different on her eyes as if they were a stranger to each other and hadn't met before.

“Who are you?”

Junyeol eyes became wide, mouth nearly hung open. It was just yesterday they met and talked comfortably to each other but now Shinhye didn‟t recognize him at all. He knew human had weak memories, but he never knew there's one with this weak.

“I ask you who are you? What are you doing here?”, She said with the same words and the exact same tones as yesterday.

“I… I heard the song you’re playing. So I came and jumped… here”, Junyeol repeated the words he said like yesterday. Shinhye let out some chuckles lightly, “You jumped here? Are you a fox?”, she said with the same gesture again.

Junyeol held her shoulders and pulled her closer, “Are you playing a joke with me, Shinhye?”

Shinhye’s eyes widened and stared at him in confuse, “How…how…do you know my name?”

Junyeol froze for a moment. She didn't lie. He knew from her blood rhythm, theres no hint of lie in her eyes.

To Be Continued

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