#like girl the gays ain't gonna bite

[thesilentcrisis]

Sorry to bother you yet a person that you made OC art is shipping her OC with Angel Dust a Gay character and says she does not support LGBT people

Here is the linkhttps://www.tumblr.com/cheetochild989/758655192607686656/thank-u-mine-snake-for-tha-assist-d-you-have?source=share

oh wow she doesn't? I didn't know that. Thanks for letting me know! Your link is not working properly, but I trust your judgement. I swear- Why does everyone I try to interact with be something phobic or ist. . . .

AHHHH- Anyway, have a great day- night, or wherever you are and I wish you luck in whatever you are currently up to <3

[respectthepetty]

Dangerous Romance is peak comedy

I got 99 problems, but Dangerous Romance ain't one. It feels like a Thai version of Another Gay Movie because it is squeezing in all the tropes yet taking none of them seriously, which is not a problem in my book.

Not a Problem #1 - Nava & Guy making everything into a competition including turning on the faucet. They got that Love Mechanics color-coded lighting treatment, and that's all I care about.

Not a Problem #2 - The Poor Boys treating the Rich Kids like the dogs they are by threatening punishment if they act up and dropping "good boy" casually into the conversation when they do good deeds, then rewarding them. It's puppy play meets praise kink, and I approve of it.

Not a Problem #3 - How Sailom's friends, especially Guy, thought Kanghan was trying to poison them, yet still drank with Nava because if he was going to die, he was going to die the champion.

Not a Problem #4 - Kanghan not knowing how to express what he is feeling when Sailom questions him after the kiss and expecting the kiss to speak for itself. He thought he was speaking Sailom's love language, but Sailom is clearly an "acts of service" type, while Kanghan is a "words of affirmation" guy.

Not a Problem #5 - Characters using the bathroom! Every episode, someone goes to the bathroom or uses it as an excuse to escape a dinner where they cannot make eye contact with the boy who kissed him in the bathroom because the kiss was a C- at best and he doesn't know how to tell him that without making him cry since he has a praise kink, and I appreciate it.

Not a Problem #6 - Kanghan saying that he sucks.

Not a Problem #7 - Kanghan stating he has to keep trying because practice makes perfect.

Not a Problem #8 - The tiny smile Kanghan gave when he realized he could go through the bathroom door instead of the front door to get to Sailom. And no, this is NOT an euphemism.

Not a Problem #9 - How Kanghan stood in the light because he finally figured out his feelings and he wanted to be open and honest about them while Sailom still hid in the dark blue afraid of the way he already loves this unhinged Blue Boy.

Not a Problem #10 - The pinky promise to be queer

Not a Problem #11 - The way Kanghan naturally went into Sugar Daddy mode.

Not a Problem #12 - The dumb looks these two kept giving each other in front of Sailom's friends and God as if no one else existed but each other.

Not a Problem #13 - Sailom singing JLo's 2001 hit "My Love Don't Cost a Thing" only for Auto to bring that Golden Era Madonna Energy and tell Kanghan that "We are living in a material world, and he is a material girl"

Not a Problem #14 - Kanghan liking the way Sailom smells. Kanghan wearing Sailom's clothes. Kanghan responding "no-no" when asked if he is a psycho like a cute little puppy. Kanghan's entire existence, and Sailom's annoyance of how much he loves this guy.

Not a Problem #15 - Kanghan being a WEAKASS! My family will give outsiders hot shit without any warning, just to watch them take a bite and cry, so I get a deep pleasure watching people suffer their way through eating spicy foods to save face. Like, just take the L my man, so everyone can know Sailom is superior to you in every way! Hence why I love Eddie from Kiseki: Dear to Me and Palm from Never Let Me Go. They like it spicy.

Not a Problem #16 - Sailom being horny on main when Kanghan took the blame to save Auto.

Not a Problem #17 - Auto being so tiny compared to the group. Auto getting White Girl Wasted. Auto dancing. Auto refusing to snitch on the group. Auto saying his mom is gonna be soooo upset at him like he is a (queer-coded) killer in the original Scream. Auto saying "NEVER FORGET! NEVER FORGIVE!"

Not a Problem #18 - Sailom being a gold-star gay when that girl was trying to dance with him, only for Kanghan to come in with a steel chair and demand she leave his gay boyfriend alone.

Not a Problem #19 - Sailom finally realizing just how crazy Kanghan is when Kanghan wanted to ballroom dance in the bar as a way of declaring to the whole world that they are in love, then Sailom realizing he is VERY into Kanghan's brand of crazy. *see #16*

Not a Problem #20 - Those handmade cheerleader outfits being so camp (read: fugly), that it brought the queer out of my (hidden) girl couple.

Not a Problem #21 - Sailom screaming "TROY!" again for the Wildcats in the audience who are "all in this together"

Not a Problem #22 - Guy not kink-shaming Sailom for his puppy play relationship with Kanghan since he's probably taking mental notes, so he can tame Nava using similar methods.

Not a Problem #23 - Kanghan hugging Sailom so tightly and THANKING HIM after Sailom said yes to being his boyfriend. See what a good dom can do for a brat through affirmation play? "Good boy" *pat his head*

Not a Problem #24 - Kanghan's (Perth's) smile. Sailom's (Chimon's) wavy hair. The boys cuddling up in Sailom's bed because Kanghan now needs constant positive reinforcement for his good behavior and he likes the way his boyfriend smells. Kink is really classical conditioning. Smell of boyfriend + Hugs from boyfriend = Who's a good boy? Who's the best boy? Who's my very good boy? *rubs his belly*

Not a Problem #25 - Saifah being A WHOLE FUCKING PROBLEM all episode! My wild ass theory lives!

God, I fucking love this show.

[kanmom51]

Felt like I had to bring this back

Please forgive me @juliapark13 for hijacking your post, but I just had to, it being the perfect example of not only how stupid people are, but also of how there is no problem for people to make assumptions as to the members sexuality when it's about assuming they are straight. It only works in one direction though.

This ask:

And this post linked:

Because, I too feel for either of their non existent girl friends, former (past 7 years), present or future.

With all the noise about the word girl maybe or maybe not being in a snippet of a maybe JK song on his maybe album, I thought it fitting to bring a few posts back.

All part of my hardcore expose proving once and for all that, you guessed right, JK ain't gay.

RB - the Jikook conversation transcript.

Hickey-gate.

It's true. They have been covering for each other for years.

JK ain't gay pt. 1

JK ain't gay pt. 2

JK ain't gay pt. 3

JK ain't gay pt. 2 of pt. 3

And if talking about the gf...

I'm guessing that now with this shit circulating it's time for a part 4 of this expose then, right? I mean the word girl in lyrics to his song (maybe). That would surely mean he's straight, right? Cause Ricky Martin is 100% straight, always was.

Wait, he's not?

But surely he was when he was singing:

"Woke up in New York City

In a funky cheap hotel

She took my heart, and she took my money"

No?

Shite.

Could it possibly be that a queer artist sing a song with lyrics that have zero to do with his own personal life? Could it be?

Could a queer artist create art (song, dance, paintings, acting etc.) that has nothing to do with his sexual orientation?

And now I'm being dead serious. This is total bull. Of course queer artists create art that is not necessarily personal. Queer singers singing songs about loving women, queer actors playing roles being in love with a woman all while they are gay. Queer artists painting women.

Now about this song snippet specifically:

We don't know if this is an actual song or perhaps a guide song.

We don't know what he is actually saying there (I've literally heard so many different versions of it, some with girl some without).

We don't know the full lyrics of this specific song.

We don't know if this song is on his album.

We don't know what this album consists of, how many songs, how personal it is as a whole, who wrote the lyrics to some or all of his songs.

We just don't know.

If the song or songs on his album have female pronouns and talk about love and attraction to females, and if JK tells us the album and all songs on it are personal to him, only then will people be able to come around to our blogs and claim some sort of proof that JK might be interested in women.

But does that rule out him being queer?

Heck no. Cause you know, bisexual is a thing. Pansexual too.

But there is no talking to these people. When you are a brainless moron it's hard to understand that love is love is love. You also can't possibly see what these two have been up to for the past 7 years or so. You can't see, you can't hear everything they've showed us, told us. What a kick in their gut it was when JK came live in the past couple of months with JM on the mind. And what a kick in the gut it will be for them if we have a Letter like song on his album. Here's hoping. Yes, that's me being as petty as fuck.

[hn-yn-soo]

How Would They | TWICE

How would they.... Show their intimacy?

Note : intimacy doesn't mean the sensual stuff but yes you get the point

Nayeon being herself, she'd give you a lot of kisses, LIKE A LOT so don't be shocked if you wake up or go out with multiple lipstick smudges and marks on your face, and at night you'd feel her cute bunny teeth lightly scraping the surface of your neck, feeling her small smirk before she eventually bites you...playfully, but she ends up giving you a mark, and a ton of scolding from the God herself

Aside from the kinky shit and what not, she loves touching your face, specifically booping the nose, and pinching the cheeks. You would wake up to her silent squeals and giggles with your cheeks almost burning from too much touches and obviously cuz you made the IT girl coo over you.

Jeongyeon wasn't fond of kisses, but for you she'll sneak a ton when the members are around but she'll prefer your fingers intertwined with hers because, she'll admire and basically stare at how your hands fit perfectly then when she dozes off you can feel your fingers massaged by her with her head laid on your shoulder humming some tunes

Then at night, becoming too intimate and steamy, you'll just hear her whisper if she can kiss you or any specific parts of your body, but most of the time she'll hug you like a koala with her hand under your shirt tickling your skin gently

And when she goes to work, she'd leave you a small letter with a prepared dish for you, and would always leave a kiss on your lips before going out. Having someone like Jeongyeon warms your heart to the fullest, and you love her for that

ONE...of the horniest and hottest of the bunch, if not for her love of food she'd eat you instead- I mean yes she dozes off into your arms and you just let her cling to you because you'd been jealous over some tasty food. You couldn't resist her pouting after an eventful tease with either Jeongyeon or Dahyun, her being cute is a big no no because she's gonna be digging into your pants soon

Yet she's a green flag for you, basically a walking person complete in love languages. She'd risk anything to keep you loved and happy, sometimes clumsy but happy

And a lot of food dates with her, she'll spoil you for a whole night almost wrecking your diet routine but in the end you're also gym buddies, she'd obviously stare at you working out and make subtle moves to touch every exposed muscle and skin of yours

For example..

"Aigoo, let me help you... That's a wrong way to do pull ups" You felt firm yet small hands hold your toned sides, making it too obvious that she's examining your abs with her eyes glaring from the reflection

"There you go, up and down..slowly"

"Mo, stop touching my abs" You say, looking into the reflection where her hands were now lightly scratching your skin and she shakes off from her little daydream

"Eh?"

You and the gay queen in one room? Hell nah, I'd wish for your funeral right away because she will not leave an inch from you every millisecond that you breathe. Her eyes would just be stuck on you, biting her lip and making lustful glances when you and the girls do work at the dance studio. Plus the hands? Please, either she'd be too clumsy to touch you in your no-no square or intentionally touch you in any ways that she could-

"I know I want it-" Nayeon was cut off again-

"Yah Sana, enough with the hands! It's the fifth time" Jihyo scolds from the front, glaring at the clumsy squirrel who groped your boob out of nowhere and she had a smirk on her face which was way too far from the choreo itself

"Hehehehhe, so soft"

But at home, she'd usually hang her legs on yours, light kisses on each other's faces and soft makeout sessions before going to sleep

*author has left the world* We ain't gonna talk about mother here, she's basically EVERYTHING THAT EVERY PERFECT GF HAS SHE'D BASICALLY THE ONLY PERSON SUFFERING IN GIRLFRIEND SYNDROME

Anywho, she's gotta be that wifey material, your fights with her are minimal since you and her taught yourselves how to understand and open up before any conflicts occur, talking it out is a must because her mother senses kick in and checks you whenever you feel off amd immediately ask you if she had done a wrong turn or eventually cry in her sleep if you didn't give a clear answer

She's like Jeongyeon, not fond of kisses but you can feel her do it when you're working or asleep. As token of being the best girlfriend, the day she gave you a yes to your courtship, she gave you the most sweetest and passionate kiss you had ever felt in your life and she's the one initiating. And at mornings when you cook, you would feel her hug you from behind, mumbling and asking what you were cooking before she peeks her head under your arm for a little taste

You always have night car rides with her, eventual cheek kisses with soft tunes playing in the car, stopping by a nearby cliff and engage to a passionate makeout then hugs. You often fall asleep from her playing with your hair, and smiling at how she peppers your face with light kisses, enough to make you cry and hug her

And plus, whenever you two drink alcohol, she'd take the rest of your shot as she knew you'd get drunk too easily and she'd have to take you home and you knew how she is when she's protective over you. She'd pamper and scold you for drinking too much.

*author has left the world*(2) well, speaking of our elegant, bossy, handsomely pretty penguin. She's that type of gal who's too shy to initiate any skinship but will still do it out of habit. First, kisses in the morning that she'll do before you wake up, she'd admire and stare at your face in whatever you do, she's a hugger, she'd treat you like a big Tim bear every single day and you don't complain.

Dates are so magical, even if it was just you two watching Netflix under soft and warm covers with fluffy pillows under your backs. She prefers spending time with you than waste money, but she spoils you too often she'd give you a sports car for being a loving partner.

She'd also take a stolen picture of you every minute you had, especially when you're with her pet Ray, she loves it so much she had it flexed through her lockscreen and Polaroid at the back of her phone

And she often teases you at how you look away whenever she wears her favorite short pajamas, seeing you hide behind tiny Jihyo made her heart melt and immediately shower you with hugs and kisses with your eyes not knowing where to put properly

Lastly, she doesn't play any games without you hugging her. It makes her feel comfy and protected from the evil enemies shooting her down, or being killed off by zombies and pillagers. You just sit there on the bed with her on you, hearing her tiny noises whenever she does something..basically EVERYTHING

The rapstar, the chocolate lover, the tofu! She's not fond of too much skinship but she's different at home. You always wake up with faint tunes of ballad and any soft songs played because of her great piano skills, you'd sing with her every morning and she basically jumps in happiness

Makes you funny at all times, her face has that thing where it makes you giggle and smile whenever she does something dumb, but hey she made you smile. And yes, you always go out on dates, picnic under the autumn atmosphere, beach dates or just lay back at home giving each other chocolates or play games

And of course, you love taking photos of her under the sun, she does it to you as well but under the moon. Fans suspect you were dating her at how the alignment of both planets fit perfectly in your photos, you cleared it was a coincidence but the timing wss just perfect for you two

Her love for art and you is incomparable, she'd paint you gracefully and the focus on her face is just a turn on for you. She'd often smirk whenever she spots you staring too hard, eventually winks back when you caught her looking back at you. She'd casually invite you in random places at any random time but you never complain because every minute and second matters

You'd occasionally see her asleep first more than you, a little shift on the bed she'd cling to you mumbling something in her sleep. And you'd hear her roar from the bedroom if you stayed out for too long, being small is beneficial for the cub because you can just carry her with you whenever you liked. And you would always fondle her lips and cheeks, loving how soft they were when you kiss them

And whenever she asks to get a tattoo, you get one too! You supported Chae as she is and her unique self is already enough for you, the most memorable tattoo you got was the lined up veggies, but you have yours as strawberries with hers as carrots

And ever since the issue with her came up, you never left her side. You may have scolded her a bit, she found herself guilty and changed for the better which made you love her more. You knew she was wrong but you also knew she'd change.

Lastly, our Yoda! Tzuyu is known to be as quiet as Mina, but she can keep up on love. She'd dedicate songs to you, sends random photos of Kaya and Butter, you two always go out on dates and visit Gucci's grave after.

Your first weeks of being in a relationship with her is tough since she's always shipped to random male idols which made you think if you were enough for her but she surprises you with a confession that you were hers and she's yours only that ended into a wonderful day due to the fans' support

Your times with her has never been better, you'd go out on late night walks on a convenience store or somewhere peaceful before heading off to another hectic schedule. She'd always remind and show youbhow much she loves you, she's not afraid to show her love unlike some people and she's there to defend your relationship because that's her way to let everyone know you're not for anyone.

[maguro13-2]

Duo : Hey, Heero! Ready to see some Bang Brave Bang Braven!

Heero : What's that?

Duo : You know, a new Mecha TV show about two guys and this guy pilots a giant robot called Braven! It's a cool show produced by Cygames, the people behind Granblue Fantasy! It's amazing show on Crunchyroll! Come on, Heero! You gotta see it!

Heero : Oh yeah, that show...I forgot to tell you about it.

Duo : What about it?

Heero : You see the thing is...that show is gay.

Duo : Eww! Well I'm not into that, I don't how people calling Mecha gay. I don't mind that, I'm just lucky about the main characters of piloting a cool super giant robot called Braven. What does gay stuff have to do with Braven anyway?

Heero : Beats me. Some idiots cleverly thought that it was important to get all the gay stuff out of me and I hadn't figured it out yet. Also, didn't you heard about a recent news update in your head?

Duo : What do you mean by that, Heero?

Heero : Well, you see, the main character of that show got attacked by a girl named Lulu who was part of the show. Some say to Cygames' contractors that Lulu is something different that being a girl on the Braven show.

Duo : And what do you mean exactly about Lulu attacking a guy in the first place.

Heero : Well...

(cuts to a cutaway)

Cygames : Isami, Main character of Bang Brave Bang Braven, in addition to the show, I'd like you to meet this little girl named Lulu.

Lewis : Wait, Lulu. This little girl over here is Lulu?

Isami : Isn't Bang Brave Bang Braven isn't about two guys, a robot, and a little girl?

Lewis : And did you say anything about her..."needs"?

Isami : I just don't know how to put in the script.

Lewis : Well, at least she ain't that harmful, it's only a little girl. What's the worst thing that could happen?

Isami : Allow me to do it, Gaylord.

Lewis : Hey! I might be a ladies' man that isn't about being gay, but that doesn't mean I'm a Gaylord that isn't about two guys having sex with each other! What do you think about giant robots with gay men all the time? Skip the surprise party this year, cause this one's going in the bag.

Isami : Right back at ya, partner! (Hits Lewis on the back)

Lulu : !? GA-WA-PIIIIIII!!!!

Isami : Huh?

*DBZ SFX : PUNCH+Thud*

Isami : Hey, that little girl punched me in the face! Why didn't anyone tell me that she's autistic and not harmless!? how did she threw a good Punch like that!? just because she's a girl with long hair, doesn't mean that she has autism or something--*BITE!* OH MY GOD! She's biting my arm! This is going to get hurt...a lot.

(sounds of Isami getting attacked by Lulu)

Isami : HOLY FISHPASTE! GET HER OFF ME! GET HER OFF ME! Ah! AAAAAAHHH!! No! Stop! No! Let go! Let go! Smith! Help! Smith! WHO IS THIS KID!?!

Lewis: Oh yes, I forgot to tell you. The reason she attacked you in the first place because she's a little girl with autism, but she's a little too cute to be... extremely dangerous.

Isami : Just do something! This Kid's beating me up to a bloody pulp!

Braven : I swear this did not happened in the show, this happened in battle on the show! I promise!

(scene cuts back to Heero and Duo)

Heero : I see your point tho. So any chances of seeing you guys having a point where there is little means by necessarily to all of this point, that Mecha will understand the true promising of friendship and mechaship qualities!

Duo : Well, for your information, I just happened to be the guys who saved a girl named Lain who does not people called her autism, she's smart and talented!

Lewis : Hey, you two Mecha pilots?

Heero : Yes, man! We definitely are Mecha pilots! We're the best pilots of the 90s and it's official that we're not as ourselves to be a pilot who is interested with fanboys and fangirls.

Lewis : Well, good. Here, hold this for me. I gotta go meet with the others. Look after her, I'm just gonna check out with Isami from his physical therapy session about being gay to others.

Duo : Well, thank you sir! I'd always would look after something or someone to hold this for a while, it'll be my pleasure to be with--(to Lulu strapped with a harness) You? Why is she strapped with a Harness?

Lewis : Because I said so. Do whatever you'll like. Please to take great care of her!

Duo : No Problem, sir! (To Lulu) Hey there, you're a girl name Lulu from a show Braven, I just wanted to get you-(suddenly, Lulu starts attacking him) AAH!!! Auggghhh!!! What are you attacking me on purpose!? I need to change my--HEEEEELP!!!

Lewis : And be careful, she's very autistic and she is aware of that!! At least, to be honest, it's for the fair share that Japanese anime characters like her has autism in their character development and it's aware of that!

Duo : I KNOW WHAT IT IS!!! SOMEONE GET THIS GIRL OFF OF MEEEE!! (In pain) OW! OW! AAAAAA-OWWWW!!! You idiots! Do something with this girl! (Lulu stops attacking)

Lulu : Okay, I'm done now.

Duo : Uhh, did she just spoke?

Heero : I thought she just spoke.

Lewis : I gave her full proper English language like we Americans do.

Lulu : Uh-oh. Now everyone thinks that I'm speaking full human languages. Well, at least that's all I have to say anything before I don't see you guys touching each other d*cks.

(everyone gasped in shock)

Lulu : Oopsie.

Lewis : LULU! Great Scott! Why would you even say that!? Oh geez! I'm sorry, everyone! Please pretend that didn't you hear that!

Isami : (To Lewis) Lewis, did you made her say "D*ck"?

Lewis : (To Isami) I thought that I made her say "D*ck".

Heero & Yuy : CAN WE PLEASE NOT TALK ABOUT OUR PENISES!

Heero : Aww, Bogus! Can't believe we just said "penis".

Cygames : Why did I even bother doing this?

[wildcatofgreen]

Her eyes widened, pupils dilated, when he held her tighter. At the very least, she expected him to walk out again, to just leave, wordlessly.

But he didn't.

He held her like he loved her. As if she and him were the only important things in the world.

But of course, they weren't.

Him talking about Lyli--him asking about the Scarves.

That was more than enough to prove that.

She listened to him, leaned into him more, but still hugged herself. She got as close to him as she possibly could--even leaned her head into his chin. She basked in his warmth, his comfort, his love.

A soft groan escaped her as he asked about her past--about those fucking Scarves. Stones know she doesn't want to divulge that--to relive it through her words. It pained her every single time. She wanted to get away from all of that. She wanted to pretend it never happened.

But she'd probably never get that luxury, would she?

He'd think less of her, if he knew the kind of shit she did back then.

She already thinks less of herself because of it.

A sigh.

Ears folded against her head. Gaze focused on the floor.

"Guess I'm selfish too, then. Stones know Iun't regret shit, either--even if it makes her feel like that.

"I hate that she does feel like that, an' there ain't much my gay ass can do about it. But.

"I love you more. "That's... that's jus' how it is. Even if I somehow ruined everythin' by doin' somethin' stupid, I'd still love ya more.

"I guess you won, in that sense? Iun't fuckin' know dude. If I had it my way I'd do some weird poly shit, but I already know it'd never work out. Wasn't fair 'ta neither of y'all when I was playin' with y'all way back when. Wouldn't be fair if I did it now, too."

But then again, that'd involve one of them doing something first.

She confessed months ago, and that was only because she wanted to get it all off her chest and be done with it. Be rejected by Lyli, go full force in'ta Sony an' never look back at it all. That's how she expected it--that's how she wanted it to go, she thinks.

Because it'd be easier that way, wouldn't it? She could mentally separate the two better.

To think, all that time, she felt the same fucking way.

That still ate at her inside, to know just how much hurt Lyli must've been going through--to see it all explode right in front of her.

She made her cry again.

She hates that she did that.

A moment of silence as she thought. As she wondered which words to say next.

A grimace on her face, a sigh through her nose.

"I'm not a good person, y'know.

"An' dun't give me that ''but you saved the world!!!'' crap. I was a Scarf once--I hurt people once. When I was alone--when Cory left an' I ain't know Lyli yet, I was fuckin' awful. Both in skills an' in attitude. Only improved because of that girl.

"But shit still wasn't good--I ain't have a childhood, y'know? I was just another number 'ta the Scarves, jus' someone else 'ta throw at a mission.

"Some'a the commanders an' shit were nice--some of 'em. Good people try'na make the best of a bad situation, I can respect that. But other people ain't care about nothin' but results. How much can ya steal, how much damage can ya do, how strong are ya--shit like that. If ya ain't do good, you were worthless to 'em.

"That girl I fought," she paused, shutting her eyes tight.

Rose.

"In... In all honesty, she reminded me of me, when I was younger. Naive an' dumb, but tricky, too. Eager to please the higher ups--eager to do whatever they wanted. 'Cause they ain't have shit else. When you're a stray ya follow the guys who put a collar an' leash on ya."

Another pause.

She put a hand on one of his arms.

"In truth, the Scarves dun't care about me--if you're worried my past is gonna come back 'ta bite me in the ass or somethin' then it won't. They already tried 'ta fuck with my job and they lost somethin' because of it."

She looked up at him, with a soft, sad smile.

"It ain't like you're gonna get kidnapped or somethin'. "But even if ya were, I'd still save ya."

She averted gaze again, smile disappearing.

"Wouldn't be the girl I am today if not for them. "Wouldn't be the girl I am today if not for her.

"Though, I guess I could say the same for my sis--if she ain't run I'd be completely different. Maybe we would'a never met--who knows.

"Stones know I certainly don't."

So it was a close friendship that turned into something more but it was never acted on. By either of them.

There was a soft chuckle. "Lilac didn't say much when we talked," he said softly. If she was expecting him to blow up, he'd surprise her by holding her more tightly. He held her as if he wanted to wrap her up in something warm and safe. This was hard for her, he knew that just by the way she was holding herself, by the strain in her voice. "I went to talk to her to apologize. Call me selfish, but I don't regret marrying you. Or even getting into this relationship with you period. I meant what I said in our vows.

"I do feel guilty about coming between you two, though."

He rested his head on top of hers, sighing. "Maybe nothing between you two would have happened had we not gotten together like it did. Lilac spoke of you like it was an unspoken thing that didn't need an affirmation... and here I come in, smashing all that to pieces. I think I get what you're saying about her. It's okay. Really."

He hesitated broke the next bit. He didn't want to sound accusatory or judgemental. He just wanted to know a bit more about Carol. What got her to this point? How different from then was she when she met him and changed his life forever for the better?

"I just... want to know what it is about your past I keep getting warned about. And you get antsy whenever there's even a hint of your time in the Scarves brought up. Or even before you met me, minus the whole 'being the coolest savior of Avalice' thing.

"I love you, Carol. I want to know all about you. Nothing you say is going to make me stop. And I want you to stop being afraid of what I might hear. You might not think I've noticed over the past couple of years, but I have."

[xenizaation]

the bike club

Warning! Sexual content ahead! Minors please do not interact!

pairing: fem! reader x ateez

genre: sitcom?, high school! au, crack, smut

word count: 3.6k

warnings: explicit language, smoking, mentions of violence, handjob, exhibitionism.

a/n: fuck, i'm so late with this 😬😬 i'm sorry y'all i was so tired that i couldn't write anything. on the bright side, it's finally posted!!! it ain't much but it's honest work🤠. hope you guys enjoy and stay tuned for the next one, i promise it's gonna be posted faster than this one🤞. hope you all enjoy! don't forget to leave some feedback. stay safe! xoxo

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you drew a healthy conclusion after the weekend.

you are not going to the movies with mingi and yeosang ever again.

you never thought it would be possible to be so shamelessly ignored in a circle of just three people. it seemed crazy how two boys that barely met managed to talk about all of their common interests in just a few hours, and how you almost had none in common so you could chime in to not get annoyingly bored anymore.

it was of no surprise to you how you found them sitting together during lunchtime, when you wandered off to try and keep the social aspect of your life alive and not be the third wheel a second time.

"i knew he was gay!" a boy from the book club says while pointing to mingi. you turn your torso from the table to make sure he was talking about him.

"what made you think that?" the girl next to him asked.

"i can sense it in his aura." he replies blankly.

you frown remembering of how you thought that there was a chance mingi liked you (and you liked him) back when you helped him clean his cuts. after the weekend it was so clear that he was definitely not interested in girls that it kind of made you want to bang your head against a cement wall. why didn't you sense it in his aura?

"it's well hidden, but it's there." he adds as he takes a bite of his smelly tuna sandwich. well, that brings a bit of peace of mind.

"do you think they're gonna be a thing?" the blue eyed girl addresses you as she sips from the paper straw.

you look back once again, scanning over the table that mingi and yeosang sit. they seem to be very familiar with each other at this point, their bodies completely free to move in any way they feel like as they gesture in between words that keep the conversation flowing. the boys were shamelessly flirting in the school cafeteria from what you could figure. they're definitely going to be a thing.

"not my place to say, is it?" you respond with a sarcastic pout.

the girl shrugs as she looks to the boy quickly, who avoids eye contact as best as he can.

"oh, come on, you're always so...secretive." she pleads as she tries to take some information out of you, be it as little as an opinion worthless to anybody sat at the table. you chuckle as you take the last sip of your water, gulping it down with a loud satisfied sound at the end.

"well, i guess it's part of my aura, right?" you say smiling as you get up from the table, leaving the two people behind you huffing in a sort of amused confusion as you throw the trash from the tray into the bin.

you somehow find yourself in the company of the ignorant lovebirds again when classes are over and you're heading out of the building, walking alongside the pair while they are talking about some book with a title strange to your ears. you read many books, but their clever remarks about this one make you look around at the light blue painted lockers that are splattered along each side of the long walls and avoid adding any thought to the topic. you just listen, trying to keep up with them as you walk out the door.

were they too smart or did you wake up today and decided to be an idiot?

"hey, y/n!" a voice calls from behind, snapping you from your trance. you quickly turn around to be met by jongho waving his hand at you.

"hey guys, i'm gonna go...oh." you adress the two boys who seemingly forgot about your existence completely and were now way too ahead of you. well...that's what happens when you're third wheeling, isn't it?

you turn on your heels jumping from one foot to the other all the way to the corner of the school, where the bike club is gathered. as you arrive in front of them you offer a general greeting to everyone before throwing yourself in the outstretched arms of jongho, embracing him with all your force while laughing into his chest.

if anyone asked you why or how you and jongho were so close, you couldn't give a short answer, for there was a whole story.

back in junior year, there was a rumour going around about a girl from the book club that was adressed with a certain racial slur by the janitor. now of course, most people were furious and went to the principal about it, but he couldn't do much, saying that there is no proof. but you weren't going to leave things that way, right? you and jongho weren't too close back then, but you knew where he stood on certain matters when you had the chance to have conversations in the cafeteria, so he seemed like the fittest person for the task.

long story short, you got detention together for three months after painting 'kill the nazis' on every school wall you got the your hands on before being caught. spending the three months by painting the walls in the entire school as a punishment together with jongho was definitely a bonding moment. one you wouldn't change for anything.

the mini protest that you organized with everyone after was only more rewarding all thanks to the fact that you achieved the purpose of getting the janitor fired. you learned that even if some things seem out of your power, it doesn't mean it's above the power of an entire community.

you always had a soft spot for him, ever since the moment you talked to him for the first time. he could ask you to punch a puppy in the face and you would not hesitate.

"how have you been?" jongho asks as he pulls out of your arms.

"good, good," you answer, mirroring the kind smile on his face. "how about you guys?" you add, pointing your attention towards the tall boy who patiently waited for the entire scene to unfold in front of his eyes.

yunho looks better than ever. even taller, if that would be possible, even wider in his smooth leather jacket, even more handsome. for a brief second you think about the past with him as well.

"we're doing good." jongho's honey voice glazes your ears as you embrace the taller man, nuzzling your head in his comfortable chest, breathing in his beautifully intoxicating floral perfume. he still wears the same one.

"what happened to you?" the question bounces out of your mouth before you get the chance to weigh your surprise out of it as you pull out of yunho's big arms and point to a boy near by.

you didn't know him too well but you were used to seeing him behind jongho's and yunho's tail all the time, the only thing that was different now was that we was wearing a fading black eye, the kind that makes you hiss when you think how bad it could've hurt.

"oh, don't worry about him. that's what he got for saying the wrong shit." jongho replies as he shrugs, leaning back on his red motorcycle.

the boy looked down in shame, shoulders dropping low upon hearing the words.

"c'mon jongho, you know we don't encourage violence." yunho says to the younger.

"we don't, but we encourage fairness and he only had a taste of the consequences of his own actions." jongho huffs out.

you look at the boy again, and it's not hard to put two and two together, especially taking in consideration how there haven't been many fights in the school lately.

he's the one that mingi got into a fight with.

"your friend took care of him pretty good." yunho whispers close to you after a short while, so that no one other than you and jongho, the one closest by, can hear. you lean beside the blonde, on the seat of his black motorcycle and you look up into his puppy-ish eyes.

you smirk as you let a low chuckle tumble out your mouth.

"talking about the new guy," jongho's curious voice breaks into the air. "what's he like?"

"well, i don't know him that well yet, but he's green." you tell jongho. an old expression you chose to refer to everyone that would see the world similarly to how you and the brown haired boy did.

"so we have some principles in common." yunho's voice rings in your ears from beside you.

you hum in approval, looking up to him once again as he looks at jongho.

"well, now you've got to introduce him to us." the shorter says intrigued. "he's got strength and he's got view, shouldn't we all benefit from it?"

you chuckle at the strange image jongho paints in your head. strentgh and view- like they were going to run around the streets like some vigilantes, beating homophobes and sexists and who knows what more.

"and what do i tell him? that you want him to be a mercenary for you?" you question as you laugh to yourself.

"i mean, if that's what he wants to hear, then sure." jongho answers. "but it's not about that. we could use a new face, and we want to take him under our protective wing." he adds as he dramatically stretches an arm and flaps it up and down.

"i doubt he needs it." yunho says with a chuckle as he signals with his head towards the boy with the bruised face.

you chuckle as well, slightly elbowing yunho in his ribs. he rubs the place immediately, exclaiming a way too dramatic 'ouch' before placing a cigarette in between his lips, quickly lighting it.

"we could give him a ride around at least," jongho adds "you know, as a sign of gratitude for punishing guys who let their mouth run a bit too much." he subtly refers to the boy again, too busy to talk with the other members to pay any attention to the sting behind his leader's words.

everyone was head over heels for mingi, you realized.

if the calligraphy club wanted him for his social status, the bike club wanted him for the power that he'd bring to the team. not many would dare cross their way if they had mingi, not that they relied on fear to do their business but at times it was more than welcomed, even for them.

jongho was strong but his small stature would make even you, someone who knew too well what he was capable of, doubt about his abilities in taking someone head on if need be. and for yunho it was the opposite. he had the body for it but the face of a baby at times.

they happily made a good team at least, in leading everyone when it came to doing what they actually love. you forgot how many times thay made the school involve in projects that were more about it's students and less about the school's reputation, but you were sure there were many.

you nod to jongho when he raises his brows expectantly. he gives you a gummy smile before turning his attention to the discussion his friends were having a few steps away.

"talking about rides," yunho starts and you turn your head to him, studying the lit cigarette in between his slender fingers before he inhales smoke and blows it out. "need one home?" he asks with a raspy tone, smiling at you in a way too kind way as he drops the half finished stick, putting it out with the sole of his boot.

yunho was the only person in the whole school who knew your address and that was thanks to the brief period that the two of you spent dating right before the year ended. back then, he would always take you home, making sure to wait until you entered your house before driving off- a sweet gesture which you always held close to your heart. even if the break-up happened on good terms- you simply realized that the both of you were too young to act mature in a relationship- you always thought about how it would've been if it didn't happen at all. if both of you would've let your feelings grow into something more than a superficial high school relationship.

"sure." you show a tight lipped smile to yunho while he hands you the helmet.

right after you say goodbye to the gang, you start securing the shiny black helmet on your head and joining the little straps under your chin, following yunho's movements as he straddles the bike with his muscular thighs, his tall figure fitting perfectly on the black body of the magnificent vehicle. if pure bred stallions could take an object's form, it would most certainly be yunho's bike.

you get on the seat behind him, settling in comfortably as you press your chest on his wide back. it takes you a while to join your hands around yunho's waist, and when you do you're sure you feel him stiffening under your touch as he suffles into his seat. maybe he missed you as much as you did.

"hold on tight, okay?" yunho's voice pleasantly brushes on your eardrums right before he starts the engine of the motorcycle, rising both his feet off the ground as the vehicle starts moving.

you wish you could feel the wind in your hair when yunho speeds up, but you're only left with the sight of the world quickly passing by to make up for it. the sight of the world and the presence of yunho, those are the only things marked in your helmet confined head and it comes like a sudden instinct, to want to feel yunho even more than you're doing right now- to feel his front stacked on yours and not his back, to feel his big arms wrapped around your waist the same that yours are around his, to feel his lips again, maybe for a few reasons more than in memory of the old times. why did you break up, anyway?

you let your mind come up with some scenarios that are far from appropriate in your situation and your hands unconsciously loosen their hold around his waist. you're pretty sure you can hear your heartbeat pulsing in your head when they shyly slide towards his thighs, gently caressing his clothed muscles. his body stiffens again, but this time he remains still, not shuffling in his seat anymore, and certainly not becoming more relaxed when you trace your palms towards his covered dick. you make sure to not rush things, rubbing the inside of his thighs lazily, while he mirrors your action in the way he drives, slowing the vehicle with each second passing by- like he wants the moment to last for as long as you'd be willing to give it to him.

it's only when you finally reach for his clothed erection that he makes a sudden right, detouring from the original way home and taking you on a small street that is covered of any pair of eyes. he stops when he reaches a dead-end in between the two high buildings that stop a big part of the sunlight from illuminating the narrow street.

"what are you doing?" you hear his muffled voice from under the helmet.

"you want me to stop?" you ask as your fingers make their way to his belt, slowly unbuckling as you wait for his answer.

"not really," his words more like a sigh when you reach inside his boxers, wrapping your fingers around his girth.

sex with yunho never happened, but you made up for it on numerous occasions by having a bit of fun with each other whenever you had the chance.

"i missed you," you say as you start pumping his cock slowly, pleasantly welcoming the familiar weight of it in your hand. his body jolts under your touch, all thanks to your words that only add in the warmth he feels inside his pants.

"you never said anything." he says as his head drops low and even though you cant see each other because of the helmets, you're sure that the frown on his face already made it's appearance as all the other times you helped him get rid of his random boners whenever you hung out.

"neither did you," you say a bit louder, to make sure yunho hears you. "but from what i can see, you missed me more." the words leave your mouth through a smug smile, making sure your hand increases its pace as you chuckle to yourself.

he can't bring himself to say anything anymore, he moans in silence as you do your wonders on his dick. you feel his back heaving for air against your chest, making sure to pull him closer when you drag your thumb over his sensitive head, spreading his pre-cum all around it.

yunho hisses slowly, tightening his hold around the handlebars. he always hated the teasing, one of the reasons you always loved doing it to him so much. it would make everything a hundred times more exciting. like when you would just kiss and suck the tip of his dick, being fully surprised of the moment his cum would shoot straight into your mouth. oh, what you wouldn't give to have a taste of his delicious cock right now.

your pussy clenches at the thought, becoming so wet that you think you're going to leave a mark on his leather seat. it becomes especially wet when yunho's big palm takes a hold of your outer thigh, stroking it as much as the position you're in allows it. your own breathing becomes heavy when his muffled groans become louder as his hips rise slowly to meet your hand, giving away how he desperately chases after his release.

taking in consideration how someone could see you at any given time, if they decide to take a look on the strange dark alley, you decide that you should reward yunho faster than usual and so, your hand strokes faster, tighter- just the way you remember he likes it, and in the blink of an eye, yunho's body starts to shudder under the weight of your glorious touch. his cock twitches in your hold a few times and before you know it, his cum spills out all over your hand with a loud groan, spreading all over his big cock as you don't stop the up and down motion.

you gently stroke it until it becomes soft and after that, you tuck it back inside his boxers, zipping his pants and fixing his belt. he places his big veiny hand on your forearm, holding it in place when you try and pull it back. your palm is spread out, glistening in his still warm seed as it faces upwards.

"you've outdone yourself this time." yunho chuckles as he releases your arm gently.

"me? i should be the one saying that, who cums this much?" you ask as you take a good look at the amount of actual cum that's still left on your skin.

"well, i don't have someone to take care of me anymore, do i?" yunho says as he turns his head towards you as much as he can, removing his face shield before he tries removing yours. you lean to the side, giving him better access to slide it upwards.

"that could be solved." you say, looking into his eyes for the first time since you got on his motorcycle.

you see him smirking under the helmet, and you mimick it under your own, wiping his seed on the inside material of the grey skirt of your uniform. well, there could be grosser things you could do.

"still wanna go home?"

what you want is to kiss him. and much more.

"yeah."

but you don't want to rush things.

he slides your face shield down before his own and swiftly turns the motorcycle around as he speeds the purring engine in the direction of your house. no detours this time.

"you've gotta stop making me compromise, jeong yunho." you sigh as you watch him take his helmet off, handing him the one on your head. his eyebrows go up in surprise.

"i know for a fact that wasn't your first handjo...."

"oh my god!" you exclaim loudly as you quickly cover his mouth with your hand. "yunho, anyone can hear you!" you nag, eyes wide as they can get.

"is..this the...hand where..." yunho's voice is muffled under your pressing hand.

"oh, shit," you quickly retract it as you jump backwards. "sorry." you quickly add as you take an awkward stance in front of him, legs pushed together at the tippy toes and hands behind your back, playing with the folds in your skirt as you swing from side to side, looking innocently into yunho's eyes and thinking about what it is about him in this moment that makes your heart beat so unreasonably fast.

"don't ghost me this time." he says after a while, sliding his helmet on his head.

you don't say anything back, only observe how he drives into the distance like he used to some time ago, the only thing different this time is that you wait for him to leave first. the excitement you feel in the pit of your stomach barely lets you walk normally towards the front door, your rationality being the only thing keeping you from jumping from one foot to the other.

you hear the ding right before turning the door knob, and your hand instictively shoots for the phone instead of the metal that opens the door.

it's a matter of seconds before your eyes open widely as you frown upon seeing the notification- your mouth shoots open and you feel like you're going to throw up your own heart.

"holy shit."

next chapter➡️┃taglist form (if you want to know when i'll post the next chapter)

taglist: @sweetteez @jin-neck-shaft @lovelyvitamin @1sieun @shegotboreddsoo @mirror-juliet @enhypp

thank you all for the support! <3

to user @noryyyyyyyyy: i can't tag you for some reason or another, i'll try messaging you about it.

also there's someone who left a gmail link in the form???? very much confused homie but try again with a tumblr link or just the URL, thank you!

[yuichi-ro]

ngl i appreciate being the taller one when it comes to kisaki… doesn’t happen too often irl but at least i have fictional characters 😭 the power man

saw this and immediately had to think of kisaki + daughter and hanma + son

also ngl kisaki gives me the vibes of being heartbroken when his little girl no longer says “when i grow up i want to marry daddy” and i am here for dragging his ass as he deserves. the whole like “don’t date till you’re 40” thing where she at the beginning agreed to but later is like “you met mom before you were 40 though” and kisaki is offended and hurt at being sassed back, just wishing to be back when she was a baby and literally couldn’t physically sass him.

pfttt- kisaki letting his aspiring writer daughter use captives to read off her scripts… she later becomes a thriller and crime writer and always asks her daddy dearest how long it takes for a person to bleed out if hit by an ice pickle exactly 7 times in the chest and he tells her the next day with another missing person winding up somewhere <3 crime author daughter and her crime committing father, way to keep the family business going XD

koko and inui are sooo the rich gay uncles. they can’t act at all around kids and when they were forced to babysit for just a few moments, she started crying and koko just gave her a stash of money, which weirdly worked.

as much as kisaki doesn’t want to, he has to relay on his executives a little bit when it comes to his daughter, even if its just little things like asking to pick her up and bring her to school and they know better than to mess with boss’ kiddo

also 100% pretty face sanzu would be her childhood crush because he reminds her of a prince and sanzu is not on board with it at all

-🌌momo

typically I'm the taller one (and I'm taller than my wife) Plus at most like they're 5'10 or 6' so only a couple inches taller than me and pretty much always eye level. But there's a feralness that fills me when I realize Hanma is almost a good foot taller than me. I simply don't know what to do. I mean- yeah- it's kinda sexy ig? I think? I dunno I'm honestly just gonna sit there like that cat with the flower on it's head frothing in my anger to bite his Achilles tendon 😬

anyways-

THE WAY I KNOW HANMA'S SON IS GIGGLING LIKE A MANIAC BY BEING HUNG UPSIDE DOWN LIKE A GOD DAMN MONKEY...it's true. I cannot deny it. Real life footage of Hanma/Kisaki on the beach with the kids....Hanma's a heathen and made a mini heathen 😔

Tetta's princess sassing him?? I'm pulling up a chair and making popcorn as we speak?? Seriously- devastated when his daughter has her first crush. He thought he was gonna have his little girl clinging to him forever when a boy walked by because "they have cooties" and now Tetta's crumbling and the kids only like eight and she just off handedly said a boy at school was nice 😂 You casually remind Tetta that he is married. To you. And he's just sobbing into a pillow that his little girl isn't gonna be his little girl anymore. Oh and the attitude! Please preteen into the teen years? Tetta was ready for like the textbook stuff, even had the birds and the bees talk all mapped out but then his kid flippantly remarks she already knows about sex. And Tetta is hyperventilating how did his precious little girl even know what the word sex is?? God I am so here for mini Tetta giving her father daily heart attacks

Steven King ain't got nothing on Tetta's kiddos novels 💀 She's got first hand knowledge and no one can ever connect the dots in the family name

the entire premise of Toman having to deal with Tetta's child is sending me over the moon scream-

Koko constantly uses the excuse that the snot covered crying baby is why he never wants to have one. But Inui is like "It's cute, I kinda like it" but frankly makes Tetta's kid cry constantly. Koko takes over though bc he's tired of the crying and Inui not shutting up? Suddenly the kid is silent and very content in Uncle Koko's arms. Sits on his lap almost every time she comes to a meeting. Kicking her feet coloring and Koko is groaning bc she picked him and no one else 😂

and don't even get me started on the Sanzu thing! this four year old is head over heels for the pretty pink haired man who looks like a princess but carries a sword. Crush never goes away and constantly wants to play castle with Sanzu where he's the pretty pretty princess that rescues her. Sanzu is cringing and asking Tetta to keep that thing away from him. Tetta is genuinely trying to get his daughter to love any other coworker. At this point even Angry might do he swears. But his daughter is smitten with Sanzu. While she's begging Sanzu to play and Tetta is trying to explain who he can't play. Mikey's just eating like his third lunch and finally just commands Sanzu to play with the girl. Now it's Sanzu's job to be the prince to Tetta's kid bc Mikey got tired of listening to both men and made Sanzu do it 😂

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Janis

Grace: UGH Grace: tell me your secrets Grace: this boy will NOT take a hint 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: My secrets on repelling lads? Charming 😏 Grace: OMG I meant on getting people to leave you alone Grace: but if you do have any obvs Grace: 😂 Janis: Being real mean and telling 'em to fuck off usually works Janis: but not always case in point ☝ Grace: It's like he thinks it's a challenge now Grace: Like NO Janis: Love a challenge Janis: don't tell Mia Janis: do you not rate him at all or what? Grace: idk it's not that Grace: there's just TOO MUCH build up at this point Grace: he's highkey Janis: You reckon you ain't gonna meet expectation then, I get it Janis: just 'cos he wants it don't mean you gotta, you know Janis: can still get what you want out of it though Grace: if he tells everyone that I can't I'll have to kms Grace: boys talk too, remember? Janis: Yeah but who cares Grace: UM ME OBVS Grace: now he thinks I'm like playing hard to get Grace: not hard to want Janis: Just bite the bullet and do it then Janis: if it's shit you can blame him Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: oh please! who do I have in my corner rn? Grace: can't work the narrative on my own Grace: just tell me what to say so he'll FINALLY get the message Grace: like I'm too good for him or something Grace: you always do that Janis: Why not? Her word ain't law no matter what she reckons, you know Janis: Assumedly unless he's so un-you-type that he's a decent lad Janis: Who is he, does he go to our School Grace: he's from some posh school that Mia didn't get into Grace: but she knows him Grace: FOCUS Janis Janis: ew Janis: he's probably a snob anyway Janis: and it don't matter what he's chatting to his mates Janis: you're sure Mia isn't like Janis: setting you up here or Grace: OMG Grace: what if she is Grace: he's like WAY persistent Grace: 😱😱😱 Janis: Didn't wanna be that bitch but Janis: she is Janis: all the more reason to a. not fuck him b. have a good time and leave him wishing you would Grace: DUH Grace: but like I said expectations are soooooooooooooo OTT Grace: idk Janis: so? Janis: you can do it Janis: boys are easily impressed Janis: lbr Grace: what if he IS a snob tho!? Grace: 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: We're rich Janis: he don't need to know the specifics Janis: know how to behave, have to deal with Ri and Buster so Grace: true he's soooo Grace: ugh Grace: still, NEED to shop if this is happening Grace: this is what I mean, such an EVENT Grace: & if I'm not even gonna shag him LIKE 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: The amount of clothes you have Janis: really Grace: don't start Grace: do I have clothes to snare a posh boy?! Think not Grace: If I've worn it before I LITERALLY CAN'T Grace: I'm telling you he's EXTRA Grace: trying to impress here Janis: 🙄 Janis: Well let's not act like it's a hardship, any excuse to shop with you Janis: so go for it Grace: UM rude Janis: 😂 Come on Janis: you should have a share in Topshop at this point Grace: If I did I wouldn't need to impress any lads 💸💸💸 Janis: 'Course Janis: forgot you were in it for the 💰 Grace: Excuse you, not Ri Grace: wish she was here tho Janis: Sure she can spare time to facetime you if nowt else Grace: you'd think Grace: ugh Grace: this family, only around when you don't want them Grace: so typical Janis: Preaching to the choir Grace: did mum & dad catch barista boy the other night?? Grace: assuming not as you haven't died of shame Grace: sooooooooo cringe Janis: Don't think so Janis: Not that I was trying to sneak, just don't want them to chat to him Janis: or me, for that matter Grace: OMG dad would try & feed him Grace: LET IT GO Janis: Don't Janis: I have to have dinner with his family, and his Dad's girlfriend Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: next level cringe Janis: Yeah Janis: idc about the kids they're cool but Grace: his little brother is sooooooooooo cute 😍😍 Grace: & not to be a bitch but better at art than your bf Janis: 😂 Janis: alright go on a date with him Grace: if I was 6 I would Janis: You weirdo Janis: 😏 Grace: whatever he's adorable shhh Grace: Asia's little brother is 👾 like actually soooooooo mean Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Know the feeling, babe Grace: bitch don't be calling me out Grace: I'm so nice Janis: 😏 Janis: so self-centred, you know there's 10 of us Janis: could be talking about any one of yous Janis: talking 'bout you all, as it goes but Grace: you're the mean one 👌👌👌 Grace: are you still gonna help me with my OOTD or not? Janis: Never Janis: so shocking you would suggest that Janis: yeah, go on then Grace: don't be a bitch when I spam you with dressing room selfies Grace: the lighting is literally designed to make us wanna kill ourselves Janis: 🐸🍵 Janis: hot take Grace: 🐸 to 👸 🤞 Janis: Don't be tryna lips the sales assistant Janis: she don't get paid enough for that Grace: if I'm not getting any from my date Janis: 🙄 called that in the air Janis: no need to have that many sleepovers Grace: 😂 Grace: Mia obvs would have invited you babes if that was true Janis: 🤢 it's gross 'cos it's true Grace: should we throw her a coming out party or?? Grace: It is pride month Grace: before you know it Janis: 😂 Bitch I wish you would Grace: if I knew that was all it would take for you to like me Grace: 💔💔💔 Janis: What, dragging that bitch? No duh Janis: You been knew Grace: she's the only one who thinks being gay is a drag Grace: idk why even Grace: I'd love that, boys are the WORST Janis: 💔 Janis: The tragedy that is hetrosexuality Grace: I know, right? Grace: so unfair Grace: but like I'd just be worried that the girl is hotter than me the whole time anyway so Janis: 😂 Janis: Looks like you can't win, babe Grace: Truly Grace: [sends first potential outfit] Grace: 😱😱😱 LOOK at this! UGH I wanna die Janis: It isn't that bad, calm down Janis: the colour is a bit Janis: though, so yeah, keep looking Grace: No way this assistant is getting 💋 now thank you Grace: you're more help & that's Grace: just weird Janis: not working on commission Janis: though I should charge Grace: IOU Grace: whenever Janis: Whatever Janis: nbd Grace: I'm serious, not THAT much of a bitch Grace: [sends outfit option 2] Grace: OMG!! HOW ARE THEY GETTING WORSE! Grace: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: Nah, don't even bother to hang that back up Janis: why are they selling that Grace: gonna have to be ✂ out & buy it anyway Grace: 😭😭😭 Grace: who it is for? cos I DON'T know her? Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: you're just flapping Janis: get your woman to help Grace: sure cos she's been sooooo helpful so far Grace: this is the worst day of my actual life Janis: 🙄 Janis: get your arse outta that and into something decent 'fore I have time to address that please Grace: [outfit 3 cos we know you ain't stuck bitch calm down] Janis: That's better Janis: it's a decent fit Janis: not slag short but you don't look like a nun either Grace: yeah but it needs to be 🔥 not just better than the worst this shop has to offer Grace: so what's bad about it? Grace: Gotta improve Janis: Not crazy about that Janis: idk what you'd call it Janis: but the frilly hem Janis: bit cutesy Grace: 👌👌👌 Grace: same Grace: not a mood Janis: Will they ever stop bringing the 90s back Janis: the real question Grace: IKR Grace: over it Grace: never was about it but like go off Grace: OMG he's sent me the place we're going, search it for me to check I won't get thrown out for looking like a slag Grace: [sends deets] Janis: Bit fancy for a usual teenage lad but nothing too pretentious you gonna get kicked out Janis: You can deal Grace: so like???!! Grace: [outfit 4] Janis: Grace, that isn't the right size Janis: it's 10x too big for you Grace: Are you even looking at the same picture as me?! Janis: Yes bitch Janis: it has potential but you need the size down at least Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: 👌 wait Grace: [take 2] Janis: Way better Janis: can actually see you have a body Grace: I s2g if you're trolling me rn Grace: I will kill you Janis: I ain't, that's how it's meant to look Janis: not 2 foot of extra material Grace: I don't wanna do this Grace: no offense Grace: not this specifically Grace: just ugh Janis: Why not Grace: idk I haven't been to the gym in FOREVER Grace: & none of this is working either Janis: so you feel shit Janis: what's a better way to feel better about yourself than having a boy all 😍 and Mia all 😡 Grace: but what if it goes wrong Grace: I haven't been on a date date for ages either Grace: & not to like Grace: wherever this is Grace: like excuse me while I load up a tutorial about which fork to use when 🙄🙄 Janis: It won't Janis: you're chatty, you're the nice one Janis: unless he's really boring or a dick then like Janis: that's on him Janis: if anyone is suited to dates, it's you Grace: Oh please Grace: anyone can be chatty & nice when they want a boy to get off with them at a party Grace: even you Janis: Yeah? Why didn't I then Janis: Massive virgin you reckon Grace: duh cos you don't want to Grace: waiting on your rom-com moment with barista boy obvs Janis: 😑 piss off Grace: it's not shade babes Grace: it's like the opposite Janis: It's you that likes rom-coms, not me Grace: everyone's jealous for a reason tho Grace: not saying I am cos EW Grace: kms Janis: Nice save Grace: OMG shut up Grace: you know what I mean Janis: Whatever Janis: not trying to make you jealous Grace: I'm just saying Grace: he's actually a decent boy & he likes you & knows how to treat you Grace: how often is that happening around here? Janis: not with the lads you like Janis: not all of 'em are cunts Grace: CAN YOU NOT Grace: so rude to me Janis: it's not, it's your taste Grace: OMG didn't open my mouth to be attacked Grace: thank you Janis: 🙄 calm down Grace: you first Grace: you're so mean literally ALL the time Janis: Not telling you exactly what you wanna hear isn't mean, Mia Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: whatever Grace: this was a bad idea Janis: You're so dramatic Grace: and? Grace: we've established you want me to change my entire personality Grace: get over it Janis: I don't give a shit Janis: I said you should Janis: then you wouldn't be 😭 all the time Grace: you have no idea Janis: Mhmm Janis: your struggle is so unique and complex Grace: no, but it's mine & you don't want any part in it so don't comment Janis: Nah Janis: I can do what I want Grace: yeah exactly Grace: it's so easy for you Janis: 🙄 Janis: sure Grace: I am Grace: I'd love not to care, babes Grace: such a mood Janis: then grow a pair and do it Grace: I can't Grace: I'm not you Janis: Not a requirement Grace: isn't it? Grace: if I put in as much effort or lack of as you, no boys would be falling in love with me Grace: trust Grace: they don't now Janis: you can't control other people, that's why Grace: I can't control what I look like either Janis: well you do so Janis: lie Grace: no I don't Grace: I have to be so extra to get anyone to pay attention to me Grace: you don't, you never would Janis: It's not a comparison to be made Janis: look at where you're looking to get attention from, like I said Grace: THAT'S the lie Grace: I'm compared to every sister we've got Grace: especially you Janis: and I'm not? Janis: People are dicks Grace: it just matters Grace: like it or not Grace: so I have to care about it Janis: Why Janis: you think you're gonna suddenly be hotter than Ri or a model like Billie 'cos you try Janis: that won't happen and people are still gonna chat Grace: so what I let myself be a 2 cos I can't be a 10? Grace: Like I wanna be alone forever Janis: People like what they like, you can't control it Janis: if you felt like a 10, it'd be irrelevant Grace: well I don't so it's not Janis: aren't you bored Grace: do you care? Janis: asked didn't I Grace: Like that means anything Grace: I asked you for help it doesn't mean it'll save my date disaster Janis: 🙄 Sod you then Grace: sure Janis: 👌 Grace: thanks for the help Grace: wasn't like a totally tragic attempt Janis: Like I care Janis: you try so hard you should have it figured out by now Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Bye then Janis: have fun on your date Grace: I'll try Grace: obvs Janis: Got to stay true to type Grace: exactly Janis: go with the last one you tried on Janis: welcome Grace: The search continues Grace: stopping at like 4 lacklustre outfits? UM NO Janis: yeah how crazy not to waste another 4 hours having emotional breakdowns in a changing room Grace: how crazy to bother going on this date at all if I'm not bringing it Grace: bitch please Janis: so pick 4 Grace: it's not good enough Grace: need a jaw dropping moment duh Janis: 🙄 Grace: I don't need anymore help don't do yourself an injury Janis: yeah you do Janis: call one of your friend Grace: No I don't Grace: rude bitch Janis: found an outfit then? no Grace: I can do it Grace: I'm not that tragic Janis: 👌 Grace: such 🔥 advice from you, babes Grace: that's the secret Janis: You said it yourself, I don't need to try Janis: boohoo Grace: duh why I asked Grace: if I was gonna ask my friends I could just ask myself Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: Well you ain't listening and apparently can't 'cos you ain't me so how did you think it'd work Grace: I am listening I'm just choosing to ignore you Grace: cos I don't trust you Janis: well then why waste both our time asking Grace: IDK Grace: I thought maybe you'd hold off being a judgey bitch for long enough Janis: Oh fuck off Janis: You're literally asking for judgment Janis: and I gave it you Grace: of the clothes not EVERYTHING else Grace: I feel bad enough thank you Janis: I haven't said shit Janis: it's you Grace: you're always shading me Grace: check back in with yourself & this convo Grace: not even passive aggressive just aggressive Janis: I said you had shit taste in men and friends, which is true Janis: and that's all I've said so jog on Grace: no, you're making fun of me for trying when I literally told you I have to Janis: No, I'm not Janis: you're saying how hard it is so I'm telling you to not Janis: ask why that bothers you so much Grace: if it wasn't hard I wouldn't have to, would I? Grace: I'd just be walking around #effortless like you Grace: you acting like crying in a dressing room is such a big joke bothers me Janis: You can, literally you are the only person stopping yourself Janis: If being you is harder than all this effort then you've got bigger problems than what dress to wear on this date Grace: I'm aware Grace: but one thing at a time, hun Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Priorities, Grace Grace: oh excuse me Grace: I'll just put everything on hold while I address being me 👌👌 Janis: well bitch Janis: what is your excuse Janis: just do it before you're 40 your midlife crisis would be tragic Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: best advice yet obvs Grace: maybe you should charge, babes Janis: That's the plan Janis: you owe me, remember Grace: & you're taking it in 💸 yeah? weird flex but sure Janis: what else have you got Janis: don't look enough alike I can force you to go to this dinner so Grace: You could literally make me do ANYTHING & that's what you're going with? Grace: Having a bf has obvs changed you Grace: real tragedy Janis: Clearly not as mean as you reckon Janis: gutted Grace: for you, you had being a savage going for you at least Janis: Mhmm Janis: one moment I'm #effortless the next I've got nowt Janis: give it up, kid Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: didn't say that Grace: also am literally older than you, bitch Janis: what are you saying Janis: you don't make no sense, babe Grace: your looks are effortless, your personality needs work Grace: but nothing is going too far Grace: you're got an IOU Grace: & the barista whose speech you're stealing now like Janis: Go me Janis: 👏 Grace: mhmmm Janis: Poor Gracie Janis: enough cafes about, do a crawl, get you your own Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: & I'm not listening to you, sure Grace: that'll solve all my problems rn thanks so much Grace: I don't wanna go on the date I agreed to Janis: Only 'cos you're nervous Janis: you aren't sworn off of dick are you Grace: you told me not to shag him Grace: so not the point Janis: You aren't on a ban Janis: just not him in case Mia is scheming Grace: you don't know what self imposed rules I'm living by Janis: 😂 Really Grace: Better story than nobody being interested Grace: schemes aside Janis: 🙄 come off it Grace: Oh sorry are you not living for my honesty Janis: you said it, anyone can get lads to get off with them Janis: so that ain't what you want either Grace: I also told you it's been ages Grace: & never said that's what I want anyway Janis: well you ain't forgot, like Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: what it's like to have an actual boyfriend maybe Janis: maybe Janis: like he's maybe several squirrels in a boy suit Grace: You're so weird Grace: what am I meant to do with that Janis: Says you Janis: You've had boyfriends, ain't you, like, what do you mean Grace: not really Janis: ? Grace: I've had boys Grace: sometimes they wanna get off with me more than once Grace: I'm not going to family dinners Grace: I'm not even #official Janis: Oh Janis: Okay Janis: well I'm just going to this dinner to piss off his Dad so like Janis: but I don't know Janis: it's Janis: nice Grace: Well you'll be amazing at that Grace: what's his dad's thing? Grace: why he so idk Janis: 👍🖕 cheers, bitch Janis: He don't like me but he's just a moody twat in general Grace: you should play the race card at dinner Grace: that'll really get to him Janis: 😂 Janis: Probably ain't looked at me long enough to notice Grace: it'll make him uncomfortable anyway Grace: I get comments on my vids all the time Janis: Idk why you keep doing it Grace: obvs Grace: you don't know anything about me Janis: 🙄 Janis: it wasn't a read Janis: I'm just saying Janis: all the trolling you get Grace: I'm just saying Grace: It's a fact Grace: we don't know each other Grace: another reason I asked for your help before, duh Janis: How's that make sense Grace: what do you even mean? Janis: How'd you reckon I could help you if I don't know you, is what I mean Grace: cos I'm not trying to be myself Grace: so you don't need to Grace: get in, make him want me, get out Grace: but not the real me, just whoever he wants me to be Grace: or thinks I am already whatever Janis: It would help if I knew him, or you did Janis: not all boys like one look Janis: contrary to what you might think Grace: I know enough Grace: & I know the kind of boys Mia is 'friends' with Grace: I'm not as stupid as you think Janis: then why do you need my help Janis: Jesus Grace: I didn't need it Grace: I just wanted it Grace: like I said, I've got no backup Janis: have you tried on any more or what Janis: what are you even doing Grace: I'm in a different shop Grace: excuse you Janis: Oh God Janis: Are you gonna be this unbearable if I come find you? Grace: I can go harder, bitch Grace: Is this a test? Grace: this one's got more potential Grace: so not sorry Janis: Shut up, do you want me to come or nah Grace: not really Grace: can't mute you in person Janis: Fuck you then Grace: Like you said, I feel shit Grace: do I need you adding to it? 🤔 Janis: I was coming to help 'cos I felt sorry for you but literally get to fuck Grace: yeah your pity is really gonna help Grace: I'd rather die Janis: FYI then, you're coming on strong with the sobstory Janis: not a mood Grace: thanks Janis: 👋 Grace: 💋 Grace: [later] Grace: my phone's dying tell mum & dad where I am so they don't get extra Janis: Alright Janis: another IOU though Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: whatever Grace: I've got money so Grace: haven't shopped THAT hard Janis: Nah Janis: like I ain't gonna rise to the challenge Janis: HATE to disappoint Grace: awkward considering how often you do it Grace: but sure Janis: Whatever you say 😏 Grace: Mia's still walking around being THAT bitch so yeah Grace: disappointed™️ Janis: sounds a bit like you want me to murder her...? Grace: 😂 Grace: better idea Grace: come with me Janis: Twin murder Janis: someone's got to have beat us to that 👯 Grace: UM HELLO!? I'm being serious Grace: come on the date with me & she'll die Janis: 🤔 Janis: Hmm Grace: you know I'm right Grace: you don't even have to have a good time as long as the #s say you do Grace: not like I'm seeing this boy again you can literally leave after pics Janis: Yeah, alright Janis: I'll ask Jim, as long as he ain't busy then why not Grace: yay! Grace: 👌👌👌 Grace: persuade him babes Janis: Sometimes he has to look after his sibs it's not that easy but I'm asking Grace: tell him I'll take a shift Grace: I'm an amazing babysitter Janis: dope, you gotta come on your own date 😂 Grace: I mean as an IOU like Grace: so you two can go on one that you actually wanna Grace: 💖💖 Janis: I'll throw that out too Janis: Yeah, he'll do it Grace: OMG Grace: yay Grace: wear something she'll hate Janis: Know I said it weren't that posh but reckon trackies are a no-go Janis: but she hates everything I do so not hard still Grace: duh just look 🔥🔥🔥 Grace: she thinks you can't Janis: Yeah right Janis: 👌🍆 Janis: established Grace: don't be borrowing any of my clothes to do it bitch, I saw that! Janis: Don't worry, I won't 😂 Grace: HOW DARE Grace: that dress was in reach of you for a reason Grace: not like it's my fave Janis: Should hope not Janis: it got the job done Grace: I'm not wearing it on the date so chill Grace: or like EVER now you have Janis: 🙄 Janis: I'm not diseased Grace: bitch you 'grammed it Grace: do you wanna share clothes with me? I think not Janis: Technically I didn't Janis: 🤷 Grace: It's still there Grace: we aren't 6, not a mood Janis: 💔 Janis: Turn it into curtains then Janis: switch it up Grace: You're so weird Grace: not that kind of youtuber thanks Janis: like you've not seen the sound of music Grace: Indie & Ri made me Grace: 🙄 Janis: 👌 you loved it Grace: shut up Grace: I did not Grace: soooooooooo cringe Janis: you loved any time they'd let you hang Grace: glad my phone's about to die if you're going back to being a bitch Janis: oh hush Janis: got the place, give us the time then Grace: be there at 8 Grace: we don't need to go together Janis: would feel a bit ganged up on Janis: poor lad Janis: you can have drinks first, I know to be fashionably late Grace: thank god Grace: I'll need them Grace: he's so Janis: so? Grace: ugh idk so MUCH Grace: the ego is like Grace: I can't Janis: sounds like a keeper Janis: whatever Janis: had worse night's out for less, yeah? Grace: IKR Grace: 🙄 whatever I'm focused Grace: he thinks I'm gonna be all 😍😍😍 that'll be you boy Janis: 👍 Janis: exactly Grace: OMG what should I drink? Drunk is not the mood Janis: Yeah, go easy Janis: just like rose or some shit Grace: champagne 'cause he's rich Grace: it doesn't taste nice so Grace: not gonna be wild Janis: as long as there's water at the table Janis: so dry Grace: & as long as he's paying Grace: no way I am Grace: sorry about it ladies but this isn't a typical date night Janis: 😶 Janis: secret's safe with me Grace: tell the barista Grace: if anything's on the 'gram that ruins me I'm gonna murder him Janis: 😂 Janis: don't get your bad side, got it Grace: girl please, for that night only I don't have one Janis: That's the attitude Janis: if he's paying got more funds to go all out Grace: I hope it's not actually too expensive if you have to Grace: Mia's not worth THAT much Janis: Nah, I checked Janis: he's not going that hard Grace: Phew Grace: last thing I need is his entitlement 🙄 Janis: Obvs Daddy's spends aren't going that far Grace: how embarrassing Janis: all sorted then? Grace: sure Janis: in a bit then Grace: 😘

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: ⚰ knock knock Ali: do i need to get the ouija out Carly: yea Carly: tho bit late to ghost the lad in my bed Carly: idk who he is Ali: ��� put on a disguise Ali: like whomst Ali: beats having to leave your own gaff Ali: tho it is a crime scene Carly: got love bites from my arse to my elbow Carly: is he a vamp or what like Carly: i taste good i kno Carly: [sends photographic evidence] Ali: bitch Ali: are you anaemic?! Ali: leech sounds more like it but is he sparkly with good hair Carly: bitch its too early for words i cant spell wtf Carly: he is sparkling but thats my shine ha Carly: the hair is a no Ali: low on iron, probs, i'll get you some iron tablets Ali: taste like blood, don't tell your bedmate, he won't wanna leave Ali: party's over n sharing ain't caring Ali: someone's feeling herself this morning Ali: here for it Ali: I've already been left so that's a no to me Carly: party only ended when i passed out a few hours ago Carly: so yea Carly: was fun Carly: baby no come over Ali: was whilst it lasted for me too but you know Ali: duty calls Ali: you sure Ali: don't wanna break it up if you're good to go again Carly: yea Carly: not scared to go hard on site cuz garda are to come around Carly: i am but hes snoring Carly: & boring Carly: come Ali: perks Ali: check he's not bumped his head Ali: they'd have to come if a normie went missing Carly: nah he has to go before he goes for a slash in my bed Carly: lads are ming Ali: want me to forward that to lene Ali: make her day Ali: steal my girl Carly: do Carly: never seen her party before Carly: weird Ali: Yeah Ali: she can hang but Ali: you know, other shit on her mind Ali: work being one of 'em Ali: thank god I ain't working today Carly: & i cant get a job Carly: ha Carly: can get rid of this boy easy tho Carly: hold on Ali: another skill for the CV Carly: yea Carly: better not have knocked me up Carly: not cute Ali: Umm Ali: you need to go to the pharmacy Carly: theres so much shit on the floor i cant tell whats us & whats party Carly: idc Carly: idk Carly: ill ask him Ali: Lemme know Ali: if I could pick it up for you I would Ali: guess I can, put on a oscar winning show for the nosy bitch in there Ali: Ma will die Carly: ha Carly: its k he wouldnt have gone near me w out Carly: quoted Ali: what a prick Ali: better not be there when i show up cunt Carly: hes leaving Carly: screaming him awake will do that like Carly: ha Ali: what he get for passing out 🤷 Ali: coulda shaved his eyebrows off like Carly: next time maybe Ali: get out the sharpie and all Ali: now it's a party Carly: need your artsy talents tho Carly: me just hold up i need my baby Ali: you got it covered babe Ali: i believe in you Carly: aw Carly: i gotta clean me & this place need belief Ali: how long are your rents away and are there enough stragglers we can rope in Ali: twatface not included, bye Carly: idk but yea theres lads everywhere Carly: mattress is covered Ali: 👏 Ali: put 'em to work Carly: while i lie here k Ali: hmm Ali: no bitch Ali: i know you're princess 'round these parts but still Ali: carriage is back to being a pumpkin sweetie Carly: but im 🤒 Ali: you're hanging Ali: can't claim morning sickness now bitch Ali: chop chop Carly: ha Carly: k bitch Carly: honeymoon over yea Ali: will be if your 'rents come back to this and murder you Carly: idc Carly: be sweet to me Ali: awh baby Ali: only playing tough love Ali: thinking i'm spending too much time with my gf? Carly: yea Carly: i missed you when she stole you away Ali: how dare she 😜 Ali: missed you too tho Carly: youre mine Carly: married you first Carly: & you didnt say bye to me 😢 Ali: are you sure Ali: 'cos I ain't Ali: but how unforgivably rude 😰 Carly: id remember Carly: never forget my boo Ali: baby Carly: you can make it up to me tho Ali: oh yeah? Ali: lemme guess, feed u grapes whilst you recline Carly: nah just be here Ali: easy Ali: got to yoga first but then i'll be there Ali: went too hard with the dancing last night obvs Carly: k ill shower that lad off me Carly: i think you went just right baby Ali: too descriptive babe 😬😂 Ali: calm down with your creative ways Carly: ha Carly: you should hear me sext Carly: so good Ali: sure Ali: maybe works on the straight boys 😉 Carly: not trying to work on anyone else Carly: tell your gf if shes gonna come for me Ali: you're alright, not her type Ali: I barely am Ali: 50% like Carly: shit odds Carly: that why shes so angry Ali: as shit as yours Ali: just in reverse Ali: not saying you're both wrong but Carly: k Carly: cant all be perfect babe Carly: thats just you Ali: 💁 Carly: you kno Ali: ugh my brother's being so annoying Ali: bitch i'm coming down i will fight you Carly: which 1 Ali: dancing one Carly: hes fun Ali: glad you think so Ali: send him over instead yeah Carly: you come here & stay at yours Carly: i'll Ali: alright Ali: you're getting a rough deal soz Carly: why Ali: 'cos he's usually the alright one, so if he's testing me, wait 'til the rest rock up Carly: idc i can sleep through anything Ali: be my guest Carly: but i want you to be mine Carly: had to share last nite Ali: you done w sharing? Carly: yea Carly: im mad Ali: aww Ali: pouty princess Carly: [sends a pouty selfie] Carly: cuz its better when you stay Ali: you're so cute Ali: it's rude and i object Carly: just for you my baby Ali: 😏 such a tease Carly: nah Carly: you can have anything you want Ali: yeah yeah Ali: anything you want from the shops Carly: theres nothing here Carly: i cant do that to you Ali: okay, i'll get breakfast and cleaning shit Carly: theres no money tho Ali: i don't mind Ali: s'only breakfast Ali: IOU if you want but honestly Carly: you're too good to me & for me boo Ali: nah i'm not Ali: no one deserves to be treated like shit the morning after Carly: got me crying Ali: baby Ali: don't be sad Carly: come down is a bitch but youre an angel Ali: 💚 i know Ali: you've survived it many a time before though, you'll be okay Ali: especially when you get some food and hugs Carly: yea Carly: shouldve invited your brother to my party Carly: what a bitch i am Ali: no no, he ain't here, just blowing up my phone being dumb Ali: you're alright, sure you'll meet him when summers out and he's out on town being fabulous Carly: k didnt fuck up the 1st impression Carly: love the gays Carly: your gf excluded like Ali: he's stalked your socials and liked what he's seen Ali: not in a creepy way 'cos gay, of course Ali: awh 😂 why can't we all get along Carly: he can add me i wont send him nudes Carly: cuz she looks at me like she was willing me to hang this hard Ali: oh good to know 😜 Ali: not letting him though, he chats shite and if he's gonna I need to vet it Ali: deal with it boy, crazy posessive wife like Ali: she's just angry with me Carly: idk who lads are if i cant id them in my usual and not seen his dick Carly: my bad if nudes go where they shouldnt Carly: whats he saying about me Carly: who could be angry at you too beautiful Ali: me either for a while, like Ali: feel it's unfair to describe it from memory of having to bath together Ali: awks Ali: just that you're cute Ali: n fun, of course Ali: and a hoe with it 😜 so her, easily lol Carly: aw Carly: but you didnt snog ronan last nite he werent there Ali: nah but she thinks i'm making a twat out of myself with you Ali: tragic straight girl crush, like Carly: cant have a crush on your missus Carly: weve gone beyond it Carly: real love Ali: yeah Ali: but you know Carly: she thinks were gonna fuck Carly: 3way would sort that Ali: exactly Ali: can't on principle Ali: and even if we whack out the strapon, no real dick for you so Carly: list where ive been Carly: puts loads of people off Carly: she'll know youre not trying to get w me Ali: i'm not gonna do you like that Ali: fuck that Carly: idc Carly: do what youve gonna do boo Ali: i know you don't Ali: but i do Ali: fuck those people who are just mad they weren't higher up in the list Ali: s'why you weren't so jog on Carly: stop being so nice to me Carly: if youre mean she'll forget her jealousy Ali: i don't want to Ali: i can handle it Ali: if she can't then Ali: that's that, isn't it Carly: yea Carly: but i dont wanna start shit for you Ali: trust, you didn't start this Ali: it's easier for her to pretend that's all it is Ali: that's all Carly: k Carly: if i was a lad id be fucked wouldnt i Ali: probably Ali: don't agree with that, it'd be the same but it'd be different in how she'd be able to deal, yeah Carly: thank god i grew some tits Ali: 😂 Ali: good job babe Carly: my ma was made up as well Carly: took a while like Carly: cant let her get the album out cuz i look like a lad Carly: pretty one tho Ali: you were always cute Ali: i remember Ali: grew into your ears and all 😉 Carly: aw Carly: do you tho? Ali: yeah, 'course Carly: you were always scrapping Carly: shouldve got w your gf then she'd like you more Ali: 😬 let us not think of how troubling the age gap woulda seemed then Ali: must've thought i was a right scouse stereotype Ali: bitches deserved it tho Carly: i thought you were cute Carly: & brave Carly: i was always behind my ma's legs Ali: like my sister Ali: I was always down for the more the merrier but her and Laoise said coven's had to be three so Ali: 🔮 number and all Ali: and tbh Laoise weren't that thrilled Ro was there, like Carly: black magic vibes from her forever Ali: legit Ali: shoulda been scrapping with her, like Carly: yea or fucking her first bf but i got there before you Carly: idk how she knew tho cuz he didnt tell anyone Ali: never lose that sixth sense, babe Ali: esp. when concerning keeping a man 🙄 Carly: did her a favor he was shit Carly: didnt have a clue what he was doing Carly: thought every virgin binge watched porn like Ali: 😂 Ali: have you ever binge watched? you're learning nothing of value from that shite Carly: yea but when youre bored youre bored Ali: I hear ya Ali: always bored Carly: me too Carly: & this sex drive isnt set for a cry wank or eye fuck Carly: no offence ma and da Ali: can't take it personally, lads Ali: ain't there's to try and control Carly: they gotta txt me back so i kno when they are coming home Carly: wtf got you two so busy Ali: all that sex they ain't having Carly: porn binge watch Carly: tho my dad likes reading his Ali: Can't beat a sticky page Ali: lost arm form Ali: art, lmao Ali: sure his form is grand Carly: doctor like howd you lose that arm Carly: epic cry wank Ali: 💪 on the right Ali: limp noodle on the other Carly: hot Ali: that's your father you're talking about Ali: no need to be that stereotypical Carly: shit my bad Ali: 😂 Ali: i love you bitch Carly: I love you too Carly: loads Carly: im mad at you again tho Ali: why what have i done>!> Carly: some1 came round the doorway & i thought it was you so i opened up but nah Carly: enjoy the eyeful lads Ali: oh babe Ali: 😏 bless you Carly: not gonna put clothes on for my girl Carly: waste of time Ali: obvs, charm you out so quick Ali: least it weren't the postie, or was it Ali: Ma reckons we were gonna get complaints, as if mother Carly: lad did deliver for me Carly: not letters tho Carly: least id showered Ali: gotta replenish Ali: you chasing off your comedown rn tho Carly: cant outrun that bitch Carly: some of the mas on site are mad tho you can tell yours Carly: state of their sons my bad Carly: should've kept em in if you were bothered Ali: oh great Ali: no you can't speak to the manager, piss off helen Carly: ha Carly: my da is gonna be in such a mood when he hears Carly: sorry you missed out Ali: parents Ali: not like anyone died Ali: calm it everyone Carly: dont want me to fuck on site dont want me to go off it Carly: talk sense Carly: other day you were trying to marry me off da Ali: just 'cos it brings people to his door Ali: soz to take you away from all the cranking but Carly: yea Carly: sorry im not hiding in the back like w i was little Ali: yeah Ali: too big for the caravan now baby Ali: need your own, how much is it to rent Carly: theyre on about it but the state on this one might change their minds Carly: im cleaning as fast as i can k Ali: we're gonna sort it, i am omw swear Ali: and i'm a parent pleaser so Ali: do the rounds, sweettalk to mothers Carly: he'll just take me back to the doctors like take her off the tablets shes too outgoing now thx Carly: another of your talents boo Ali: when the meds work TOO well Ali: but of course Carly: if he was around hed kno how shit they are Carly: ha Ali: 😔 Ali: baby Carly: its k just gotta double down Carly: pro now Ali: 💚 Carly: style the freakout out cuz ima bad bitch Carly: facts and talents Ali: no lies Ali: the baddest Carly: what we doing today that isnt boring Ali: you mean you ain't buzzing to make like kim and aggy Ali: rude, i'm living Carly: do anything w you but Carly: can only check you out every time you bend Ali: cheeky Ali: appaz imma check all of you out, like Carly: what you dont wanna Carly: your gf will be sad shes so wrong Ali: didn't say that but yeah Ali: hate to make her admit that as well, like Carly: ill tell her Ali: you gonna snitch on me Ali: 🍯 Carly: nah jk Carly: i like annoying her tho Ali: i know Ali: it is funny Ali: not taking sides but lol Carly: taking mine i kno Ali: shh Ali: there's no right or wrong here, babe Carly: k but you love me more Ali: its different Carly: maybe Ali: maybe huh Carly: idk she dont think it is Ali: yeah Ali: but we know the truth Carly: fact is we're ruling this place together Carly: no surprise shes jealous Ali: if the 👑 fits like Ali: soz babe Carly: & we fit Carly: cant fight it Ali: nope Ali: if it works it works Carly: yea & you work it better than anyone babe Ali: oh you Ali: save it for all the Ma's you gotta say soz to Ali: 💋 Carly: ha Carly: mine will kick my arse out if she gets on one better leave the mattress where it is Ali: not gonna come to that but always room for a lil one at ours Ali: i got you Carly: aw Carly: never had a sleepover when i was a kid Ali: 😧 then you gotta Ali: tbh they weren't all that always but you know mine were the best Carly: yea no doubt Carly: all the magic Ali: exactly, midnight snacks and scaring the shit out of each other Ali: can tell you who you gonna marry if you've got a tea light, like Carly: thats easy tho Carly: no1 Ali: alright then, excluding the fact we already is so rude, tbh Ali: i'll tell you who you next gonna bang Ali: same diff Carly: youre just gonna say you Carly: smooth Ali: please Ali: gimme some credit 😂 Carly: now i gotta kno Ali: we'll do it when i get there Ali: which will be soon Ali: got stuck chatting to an old lady in the shop Ali: assume she can't see or she'd have avoided me like hell 😂 bless her Carly: if its ronan again or his cousin dont tell me Carly: aw so cute Carly: youre the sweetest & prettiest ever Ali: i'll casually throw the wax in the bin like nothing to see here Ali: not this morning baby but 1/2 ain't bad #stillgotit Carly: tell me you see my death & run like k bye Carly: every morning Ali: you'd rather your literal death? they ain't THAT bad, predictable but like, damn Ali: that's some shade, feel the burn, lads Ali: so are you cutie Carly: idk but over ronan hard Carly: hes being such an arsehole to me Carly: cba Ali: don't Ali: ignore his Carly: yea but like im gonna see him even if i do Carly: fucking site life Ali: i kno but blank him Ali: nothing talks louder Ali: or if you gotta, be proper polite like he's a stranger Carly: ha yea Carly: amazing Ali: childish but so is he so Ali: two can play at that game Carly: youre right i kno Carly: ive deleted his txts so i cant show you but its k cuz youd be sad Carly: or mad Ali: i'm sure i could guess the gist Ali: you can tell me if you wanna talk about it though, i promise i won't go ripshit Carly: idc Carly: ive known him long so i didnt think hed go that hard but thats what lads are like Carly: he fucks around more than me too Ali: he's a hypocrite Ali: just 'cos he knows other lads can do it better Ali: he's just insecure, babe, ignore him Carly: i need a holiday from here Carly: but ma & da never take me w Ali: shit considering how many times they manage Ali: cut a hol off and you'd have enough funds lads Ali: maybe we can Carly: i did kick off last time cuz they didnt refill my prescription Carly: went crazy like Carly: wouldnt want that girl there either Ali: not your fault, that, though Ali: you were literally off your meds Carly: that they reckon i dont need tho Ali: if you didn't then you wouldn't act like that without Ali: simple as Carly: never thought of that Ali: we'll go, i promise Ali: even if it ain't far Carly: lets camp Carly: marshmallows are the shit Ali: hell yeah! Ali: let's find a cave forreal Carly: YEA Carly: dont fall over tho Ali: do my best 😂 Carly: you gotta Carly: only scaring me w ghost stories or whatever Ali: promise Carly: k we'll go Carly: 💙 Ali: 💚 done and done Ali: do you wanna bring anyone else or Carly: got my fave coming Carly: do you Ali: nah Ali: just wanna take you exploring Carly: k Carly: then you can Ali: 👌 Carly: id go now so whenever you want boo Ali: soon Ali: i'll work it out Carly: i kno Carly: got the belief Ali: 🔮 Carly: should get dressed or nothing'll get done Ali: awh Ali: you knew i just got here Carly: they arent on yet Carly: not that fast Ali: jk Ali: find me on the mattress when you're decent bitch Carly: baby no Carly: youll catch something off that Ali: sitting on the carrier bag Ali: always thinking Carly: so smart