#like fork and knife with pizza

[hugh-lauries-bald-spot]

hannibal being forced to eat fast food will never not be funny to me show me that man having an existential crisis over a quarter pounder

[theorderofthetriad]

[spaceman-spaetzle]

do you think austria stuffs his face with a sweet he likes if he thinks no one is looking

[millenniummmbop]

.

[its-tortle]

Do you fold your pizza?

only when it is a super floppy italian pizza that has no structural integrity otherwise

[meatsound]

while im talking about food every day im so sad because nigerian food looks like the most delicious food on the planet but i have really bad texture issues with touching food 😔

[seveneyesoup]

guess who finally made that grilled cheese after weeks of seeing the formula

[rustyelias]

Hallo, complete disaster of a crossover for your consideration

BSJSJSJJSJS SOBS this is splendid!! 10/10 complete disaster!

“Going through it” damn big mood Owen! big mood!

[bengallemon]

I call it the australian deep dish pizza prototype

I am going to change the world

[jalopeura]

nice things about my youth group this week: one of the uh. people in charge? was very impressed by my drawings. being 'the one thats good at drawing' is bringing back a lot of like. weird childhood/youth nostalgia

less nice things about my youth group this week: they all probably think im some kind of germphobe bc i 1) always wear a mask and 2) said i prefer to eat food that needs utensils, instead of stuff you might eat with your bare hands

[keekssy]

i know dipping cookies in milk is like a perfectly acceptable thing but i always feel like a heathen when my fingers touch the milk and then i just have soggy fingers

[dcxdpdabbles]

Cave Boy Danny calls Batman’s costume uncool and the bats lose their minds over it. Also Alfred would totally spoil him in nostalgia. (Maybe by making the batfam let Danny out of the cage…?)

Danny tries his best not to stare at his perceived counterpart or any of the children, convinced he's their dad as a kid. He's not doing an excellent job of it, though, seeing as his eyes flickered around the room against his will.

It's almost as if the more he tries not to stare, the more he glances. It's so weird that Bruce looks precisely what he imagines Dan Phantom would have looked like if he had a human side. Knowing that Bruce and Dan look alike does not settle his nerves.

It makes him feel even more weary of the older man.

He was curious to know if they were the same person because he had made up the name Bruce on the spot since it was the most boring name Danny could think of. Yet, the DNA results showed they were the same person, not due to cloning. He knew what clones' DNA looked like from personal experience.

Especially since Bruce- why did it have to be such a boring, stupid name? Why couldn't he still be named Danny? His own clone kept his name for Pete's sake!- was sending out major Fruitloop vibes.

Not only was he rich with a secret lab underneath his house and dressed in a weird bat costume, but oh no, Bruce ate pizza with a fork and a knife.

Danny's eyes flicker over to the man just as he cuts another piece of his pepperoni pizza without a single movement wasted. He doesn't even look like he's doing it as a joke- no, the man is regal, dabbing his mouth with a napkin every third bite.

What a freak. Danny thinks, folding his pizza slice in half so he can stuff most of it in his mouth in one giant bite. Two of the teenagers gasped as though they just witnessed a natural disaster.

"Philistine." Damian- his counterpart's youngest- hisses. He's glaring at Danny, obviously trying to insult him, but Danny has dealt with bullies all his life. The kid is far too polite in his insults. Damian wouldn't last a day in public schools' playgrounds, that's for sure.

Danny looks him dead in the eye, still chewing, eyes wide and earnest, and responds with a cheerful "Gesundheit."

Damian's face clouds over in disgust. "Do you even know what that means?"

"Philistine is an uncultured person who is hostile or indifferent to the arts." Danny recites without missing a beat. He gives the other boy a pitying frown. "If you don't know the definitions of words, maybe you shouldn't use them. Might get you in trouble one day"

Damian throws a knife at him with a cry of outrage. Danny is not ready for said knife, but his ghost reflections have him moving to the right just in time for the blade to miss his head and impale itself on the back chair of his seat.

It does, however, nick his neck a little. Danny lets out what he hopes is an appropriate scream in response to the pain. He doesn't want them to know about his real name, much less his powers, but it's hard to have proper reaction times when he could already feel his healing ability numb the pain seconds after it happens.

It felt like a small prick of a sticker while walking barefooted in the grass- quick and sharp but over quickly.

Danny blinks at the table for a solid three seconds, before tilting his head as far back as it could go in his seat and letting out an even monotone cry of "aahhhhhhhhhh!"

He wishes he was better under pressure because it felt like he was attempting to impersonate a toad.

"Young Master Bruce!" Alfred- the butler that raised Bruce in their world? So his counter-parts foster dad?- cries out in alarm. He springs up from his seat, rounding the table to be at his side in seats. "My dear boy, are you alright? Does it hurt? Shall I bring the medical kit?"

Danny stops his monotone cry to blink up at the man. "I'm okay. I'm just dramatic."

Alfred's face spams before it settles in a nostalgic, fond expression. "Oh, the memories."

"Leaping Lizards, Batman," Tim whispers, gripping his fork so hard it's bending. He has a manic glint in his eye, with a smile so wide it's splitting his face in two. "Is this what Bruce was like at our age?"

"Yes, Master Bruce did have a very similar personality to our guest".

"I thought Ollie was kidding when he said Bruce was the weirdest kid in school," Dick speaks up, his face reflecting massive glee. "Does this mean it's also true he would tell people he would date them if they could beat him in a fight?"

"Yes. Alfred told me that was the only way I would be allowed to date before eighteen," Bruce speaks up, a hint of a blush appearing on his cheekbones. "I was in a lot of fights."

Alfred laughs, looking far too grandfatherly when he nods. "I would get a call from Gotham Acadamy almost every other day because Master Bruce had fought off would-be suitors. It's why no one bats an eye at his play-boy persona."

"You know what," Jason speaks up, looking thoughtful. "This explains everything about your love life, to be honest."

"Oh, so when you beat up annoying guys hitting on you, it's okay, but when I do it, it's unfair since I have training," Steph complains, making air quotes on the word training.

Bruce frowns at her. "When I was a teenager, I didn't have any of my Bat training, just what Alfred taught me."

"Alfred, the ex-British Secret Service, bulter." She counters.

"Alfred, the ex-medic in the Royal Air Force, bulter," Duke cuts in.

"Alfred, the ex-SAS Commander, Bulter," Dick tasks on with a smile

"Alfred, the ex-Spy Master for the Royal Crown, bulter," Cass cheerfully says.

"Ancients, those poor teenagers," Danny whispers, staring at Alfred in newfound respect and fear. "Did they even have a chance?"

"No, those riff-raff did not" Alfred smiles turning to the older version of Danny. "I do believe Master Bruce once threw Mr.Queen into a dumpster and left him there overnight?"

"I did. Oliver wouldn't accept no as an answer, so I put him in time-out." Bruce responds with a shrug. "If he hadn't been such a crybaby about the black eye, maybe I would have taken him up on his offer to see a movie."

Danny can't believe this. He points an accusing finger at Bruce with an unhinged look of confusion. "You had everyone falling over themselves in a world where bi-sexuality is common, mind you, and you choose to wear the lame-ass weird bat costume by choice? You chose to be uncool when you could have been in the It-Crowd!?"

The Wayne kids choked on their spit as Bruce gaped at him.

"Brucie, you are a riot!" Jason gasps, causing Danny to frown.

"Brucie?"

"Yeah, since there are two of you, I thought calling the smaller one Brucie would make it easier to tell you apart." Jason sighs wiping a tear out of his eye. Next to him, Dick is still howling with laughter.

Danny needs to keep calm and tell them he would not respond to the name Brucie. Instead, he panics and says, "I actually go by Brucie back home. I'm so surprised you know the nickname!"

He needs to get the fuck out of here.

[inkedinshadows]

Azriel headcanons

Since I'm working on too many fics and not finishing even one, here's a list of random headcanons I have about our favorite shadowsinger. Seriously, they're very random.

I have so many more, but I didn't want this to be too long lol. Let me know if I should write more of them.

If it weren't for his scars that make it impossible for him (it'd probably be really uncomfortable), Azriel would wear rings. And I mean a lot of them, on both hands. Very slutty of him if you ask me. This is how I imagine it to look like:

And necklaces as well. Like silver little chains and similar.

Azriel is 100% a cat person. I don't think I need to say more, we can all agree on this, right?

The shadowsinger can sing, we all know that. But my current obsession is him playing the piano. He probably learned while healing his hands when he was a child because it helped with coordination. He's really good at it, but he doesn't play in front of people. Only for you. (I wrote a fic about this: Play It For Me)

He has a very neat handwriting. Again, he had to practice a lot after his hands were burned to use them properly again. I picture something like this:

He's the kind of "monster" that eats pizza with a knife and fork instead of just cutting slices and using his hands (I'm Italian, I'm allowed to say this). He would also always stick to the same pizza, never changing the topping too much (relatable). He'd probably keep it simple, with mozzarella, black olives, and maybe anchovies if he feels extra.

Since we're talking food, if you are out on a date or just eating at a restaurant or whatever and you order something you end up not liking, he's swapping your dishes and giving you his. If you do like it but you also like his a lot, then he asks you if you want to share and eat half of each.

He's not a cocktail guy. Here as well, he likes to keep it simple: whiskey, brandy, wine if he's eating, and beer if he's hanging out with Cassian. If he does drink a cocktail, his go-to choices are Black Russian, gin and tonic, Old Fashioned, Manhattan, and Negroni (which might be an Italian cocktail, I'm not sure).

Oh, and he loves coffee. Black, no sugar, no cream. Mostly espresso, but also full mugs of it, especially in the morning.

Azriel loves turtleneck sweaters. Leather jackets are another favorite. When he's out, he mostly wears black or dark jeans, but at home? Sweatpants. Those infamous grey sweatpants we all love. Again, very slutty. He bought them without thinking too much about it, but once he saw your reaction to him wearing them, they became his favorite piece of clothing out of everything he had ever owned.

On the topic of clothing, we know he mostly wears black, but we also know he loves Winter Solstice. He could be easily convinced to wear one of those ugly Christmas sweaters, especially if you bat your eyelashes at him. He can never say no when you give him doe eyes. He'll complain about it, but he secretly loves it, even more so if you're wearing a matching one. The first three are nice and simple and cute, the other two if you want to embarrass him a little (but he still wouldn't say no):

Same goes for Halloween. Couple costumes? He's down. Would he admit he likes it? Probably not. Would he refuse to do it until you're begging him to, just so he can see your cute pout? Absolutely. And of course, he lets you do his make-up.

He smokes. Not much, just 2/3 cigarettes throughout the day, but it can be more if he's stressed or nervous. (Just imagine the hand in the first picture with a cigarette, it's just the perfect position already. I don't smoke and I can't even stand the smell, but I would honestly let Azriel blow the smoke in my face fr)

Taglist: @mrsjna @navyblue-eternity @paintedbyshadows @highladyandromeda @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @azrielsmate3 @mollygetssherlockcoffee @mirandasidefics @tinystarfishgalaxy @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @anarchiii @readinggeeklmao @andreperez11 @azrielslittleslut @lilah-asteria @aaahhh0127 @lorosette @azrielsrealmate

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Summer in the 305 || LS2 {2}

Pairing: Logan Sergeant x fem!reader Summary: Logan comes home to Miami (305) for the summer break and you become attached at the hip. Warnings: 18+ only, made, smut, fluff WC: 1.7k F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three

Logan must have managed to get some sleep on the flight because he was already up when you woke at noon. Sooty barely lifted his head from where he lay panting in his favourite spot in the sun, too tired from his morning run. After stopping to pet his head you walked into the kitchen and found your boyfriend shirtless, his hair still damp from the shower he had taken. You wrapped your arms around his waist and closed your eyes again as you rested your head against his back and started to doze off again.

“Go back to bed, sweetheart,” he said softly. He placed the knife down after finishing the lemon slices for the sweet tea he was brewing and reached over to the sink, almost pulling you off balance with the stretch to wash the acid off his hands.

“I’m good here. You can carry on, you won’t even notice me.”

He chuckled as your yawn warmed his back and he dried his hands. “You’re lucky I already went for a run then,” he teased as he grabbed your thighs and jumped, pulling you up onto his back. “There, better?”

You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck before resting your cheek on his head. “Much.”

“I wonder if this is how the teenage mutant ninja turtles felt carrying their home on their back,” he mused as he crossed the kitchen to put the carafe of tea into the fridge.

“You would be the one that likes pizza. Wait, did you eat dinner for breakfast?”

“Maybe…” He was quiet for a moment, but the shelf it had sat on in the fridge had clearly been emptied and you pouted at missing out. “But I did save you a plate in the microwave.”

You untangled yourself from him and slid down his back onto your feet as your stomach rumbled loudly. He caught your hand as you aimed for the microwave and he tilted his head, tapping his cheek until you gave him the kiss he was after. With a grin he turned his head at the last moment to catch it on his lips and you laughed at the sly move before indulging in another, deeper kiss.

“What’s the plan for today, babe?” you asked while the meal reheated.

He leaned back against the cupboards and crossed his ankles. “Did you have anything in mind?”

You dragged your eyes slowly up and down his body before sending him a suggestive wink. “Maybe…”

He bit his bottom lip as it started to curl up and said, “I’ll have to check my calendar, but I think I can fit something in.”

“But not right now,” you stated as the microwave dinged and you hit the button to open it, the mouthwatering scent and steam wafting out. “Carbone’s trumps everything.”

Logan reached past you with a tea towel before you could burn yourself and placed it on the marble island before kissing the top of your head. “Can’t argue with that, sweetheart.”

Logan watched patiently as you speared the food with your fork, following it to your parted lips before he reached out and thumbed a dash of sauce that lingered at the corner. “You are torturing me,” he groaned as you took your time with the meal, humming exaggerated sounds with each mouthful.

“Oh? Did you want some?” you asked innocently.

He pushed off from the kitchen side and spun the barstool around to face him as he stepped into the gap between your legs, forcing them wider as your head tipped back to meet his eyes. “I want something sweet, sugar.”

You could feel his want pressing against you as you pulled his face down to yours, meeting him halfway with a desperate kiss. If you hadn’t been so tired from the late pick up last night this wouldn’t be the first time reconnecting after his two and a half weeks away. All those nights spent without him came roaring back and you moaned as his kiss drifted down your neck and he sucked the delicate spot above your collarbone.

“Lo, take me back to bed.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Logan’s feet remembered the path through the house intimately, not needing to look where he was going when his vision could be completely consumed by you instead. He loved to just watch you, watch your reactions to the world around you, he could spend hours watching you sleep while he battled jet lag and whatever worries plagued his sleep. Watching you calmed him in a way nothing else ever would - it had been that way from the moment he saw you. 

“I love you,” he said quietly after laying you on the messy unmade bed, taking a moment to just remember how you looked right there. He inhaled deeply in awe as he saw the love reflected in your eyes and then he noticed your lips already swollen from his kiss and the air left his lungs. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Lo.”

His palms brushed the shirt up your thighs and you lifted your hips up so he could free you of the panties you wore before taking your shirt and casting it away as well. You wanted nothing more than to hook your leg around him and pull him closer but patience was one of Logan’s many virtues and he loved to worship your body before all else. Where Logan was all hard, toned muscles and strength, you were soft and supple, moulding to his hands as they roamed your body.

Your back arched to his touch and a soft moan graced his ears when he kissed his way across your stomach and up to your breasts. Your eyes fluttered shut as his warm tongue flicked your already peaked nipple before his lips sealed around it and sucked.

“Logan,” you whined, the sound high and needy as you reached for him, palming the erection that strained in his boxers. “I want to taste you too.”

He smiled at the sound and chuckled as he swiped a thumb over your lips. “Later, sweetheart. The second these touch me I’d be gone,” he admitted unabashedly.

You giggled at the honesty and let him take his time, this time at least. You had three weeks of having him home and you were going to drown yourself in him, but right now you would be patient - as difficult as the task was when his lips were set to ignite your blood on fire.

The room filled with the sound of your moans as you looked down your body and met his eyes, as pure and blue as Biscayne Bay. You could feel every and nothing all at once. Light danced around your eyes even when you closed them and still his fingers and tongue worked to keep the waves of pleasure rolling through you.

“P-please, oh, Logan,” you cried as your legs trembled around his head and he gave one last lick that sent a jolt through you.

“Hmm, taste so sweet, sugar,” he hummed as he licked his lips and kicked his boxers off. His dick spring free and slapped his navel before he wrapped his fist around it and took his place between your legs, a thick bead of precum already welling at the tip.

The first orgasm was still fluttering with aftershocks when he guided his cock to your entrance. You never felt anything more perfect than the moment where a little push was all that was needed, where the resistance broke and he thrust home where he belonged - filling you so completely that your bodies become one.

You couldn’t think, you could barely breathe. You could only feel him. He surrounded not just your body but your entire being, his natural scent that no body wash could beat, the taste of his skin you gently grazed with your teeth, the vision of losing himself in the moment, the sounds of his uneven breaths in your ear.

“Shit,” he groaned as his head collapsed to your shoulder and you felt his cock pulsing in your cunt. “Sorry, sweetheart.”

You giggled as you picked his head up to see his eyes set in an extremely relaxed face. “It has been a while, Lo,” you assured him with a smile. “I still love you.”

“And you felt so good.” He kissed your lips and made no move to leave as he started to slowly roll his hips. “Still feel so good.”

His release mixed with yours and escaped your body as he fought against the sensitivity he was feeling, basking in the slick warmth your body offered until he started to grow hard again. “This is how good you make me feel, sugar.”

You followed his line of sight to where your bodies joined and watched his long smooth strokes into you, feeling every inch as it disappeared. Your breath hitched as he retreated, leaving you empty as you saw his cock coated and shiny with come after each thrust. “Fuck,” you moaned as your head fell back to the pillow and your core tightened, the vision still playing in your mind as his thumb found your clit. He wasn’t going to come again until you did.

It was mid-afternoon by the time you re-emerged from the bedroom and Sooty seemed to have recovered from his run as he bounced around the living room excitedly. Logan grabbed the ball he dropped at his feet and opened the large glass doors into the backyard, tossing it out onto the grass for Soot to fetch. It was almost instantly dropped back at his feet, the dark tail wagging up a storm.

“You look like you need another run, boy. What do you say? Should we take mommy to the beach?”

You took the two glasses of sweet tea you had poured and gave one to Logan as Sooty barked his answer. “That sounds like a yes to me. Why don’t you see what the boys are up to? They were as desperate for you to come home as I was, Callum especially.”

Logan grinned at the news of his close knit friends and he had promised them a good catch up over the break. Pulling out his phone he fired off a quick message to the group chat and was quickly bombarded with replies and a plan was made. Pocketing the device, he pulled you into his arms and watched the palm trees and ocean move with the breeze.

“Good to be home?” you asked softly as he fell quiet with reflection.

“Better than good. There’s not a word to describe it. It’s exactly what I need right now.”

logansargeant

Liked by yourusername, williamsracing, clementnovalak and 37,273 others logansargeant: Home is where the heart is. Time to rest, recharge and re-emerge stronger. ↳ yourusername: whoever took those stunning photos has serious talent (it also helps that it is impossible to get a bad photo of you) ahem… username1: in y/n we trust, out there doing god’s work for the Williams girlies. view all comments

Click here for part three.

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[risestarkiss]

Rise Ramblings #546

In the beginning of the mini-episode “Race,” April texts all the guys with an offer: free pizza to the one that can come by and watch Mayhem.

I can only describe what happens next as, the “Text Battle of all Text Battles.”

Based on the choice of pictures we can safely assume that we are indeed looking at Leo’s phone.

Well, let’s analyze the play-by-play, shall we?

ROUND ONE

Leo comes in clutch with perfect form and all caps. No extra frills, but with all the chills. Next, we have Raphael. Ooo, looks like he lost a bit of time there tripping up on capitalization. Nice try, Champ. Third is Mikey. It appears his spelling mistake cost him vital microseconds. No “dibss” for you, Mikey baby. Lastly, we have Donatello. Two explanation points? Too much time lost there, buddy.

Winner: Leonardo

ROUND TWO

Again, perfectly done by the boy in blue as he slides into first with all caps (plus an exclamation for effect.) Second, we have ol’ reliable, Big Red. By ditching the “I” he gained some speed but lost it all with the extra exclamation points. Maybe next time, Red, maybe next time. Third we have Orange. Typos? What’s a typo? Sadly, the time skipped in forgoing accuracy means nothing as he still took third place. Last is Purple, yet again. Maybe spend less time on correct capitalization and more time sending your message, Dondon.

Winner: Leonardo

ROUND THREE

And here we’ve emerged with the emojis. Swift, simple, and to the point, Leonardo is first place once more. His message is clear. Pizza? Absolutely. Get a clue, it’s all for Blue! Second is the big man himself, two slices for him please! Sadly, the extra slice equals no dice as he comes up thrice in the number two spot. Starry eyes, pizza surprise, but he’s not on a roll as Mikey is next to go. And dead last is Othello von Ryan. Yes Donnie, pizza is 100 percent fire, but with the knife and fork you’ve come up short!

Winner: Leonardo

FINAL RESULTS

WINNER: LEONARDO

I guess someone is a sore loser.

[devilmen-collector]

The Kings' Table Manners

Ft. Satan, Mammon, Leviathan, Beelzebub, Lucifer, Belphegor

C/W: suggestive on Lucifer's part

Satan

To Satan, eating etiquette is not that important. He is flexible and can adapt to both formal and informal meal settings. Whether he uses hands or utensils depends on the settings and situations. Though he prefers informal settings where he can talk freely with his subordinates and MC during eating.

Mammon

Mammon prefers formal meal settings because he can showcase more wealth there but that doesn't mean he's adverse to informal meals. Mammon prefers to use utensils because it is kinda a hassle for him to use hands while wearing golden claws and rings.

Leviathan

How Levi dines screams ELEGANT!!!

Leviathan follows etiquette down to smallest details (like which fork must be used for what dishes, etc.) He considers eating with hands uncivilized. When he first saw MC eats with hands, he looks at them like they were some monkey. If the dishes served were fried chicken, hamburger or pizza, he would still eat them with fork and knife (although it is very unlikely he will ever be served with fast food).

Beelzebub

Beel is a wandering king so he usually has informal meals where he eats with hands. Definitely licks his hands for the remaining crumbs (and MC's hands too if they are on a date together).

Definitely annoys Levi with his eating habits.

Lucifer

The king of pride prefers to use utensils because of his nails. His fingers are only used to finger MC, or scratch them. He will only use hands if it's absolutely necessary.

Lucifer says grace both before and after the meal. He does not expect everyone to join him but he expects silence and respect and no touching the dishes before he finishes thanking God.

Belphegor

Belphegor can and will fall asleep during mealtime with his face falling on to the meal itself. His nobles, usually Beleth or Gusion, or MC have to help him finish the food.