#like for short text yeah but for longer spans of text????

[kradnie]

I hate you screenshots of long text I hate you screenshots of long white text on black background I hate you screenshots of purple text on black background i hate you screenshots of dark purple tags on a black background WRITE IT OUT IN THE POST BODY FOR FUCKS SAKE

[flipppyflopp]

“No sleeping in, not even on my birthday. There’s too much to get done to waste the day in bed.” 🎉✨

Happy birthday to my twst oc, Arlen Nox! I decided to do my spin on the new birthday card theme for Arlen even though they haven’t released a Diasomnia character yet, so Arlen might not match Silver and the others when they come out. Trey and Floyd were big inspirations for Arlen’s card from his to his pajamas. Specifically for his pajamas I wanted to incorporate Kingdom Hearts elements since Arlen’s main inspiration is Riku, so I tied in some dream eater references.

If you swipe you can see how Arlen spent part of his birthday as well as what presents he received from his friends. Below you can read Arlen’s birthday vignette written in a similar style to the new birthday vignettes, which guest stars the character voted as Arlen’s duo partner on Instagram…Silver! I hope you all enjoy and if you have any questions about Arlen, feel free to leave them in my inbox! ✨

.✨✨✨.

Arlen: Alright, I should be able to take these back to my room before track practice.

Arlen: Wait a second…who’s that lying on the ground up ahead? Are they hurt?

Arlen: Oh, it’s just Silver. I don’t have time to waste…but I hate to leave him in case he’s in a hurry to get somewhere too.

Arlen: Silver? Wake up, Silver. Now’s not the time to be napping. Silver! SILVER!

Silver: Huh? What? Oh, Arlen, it’s you.

Arlen: Yeah, sorry about yelling in your ear. You were sleeping pretty soundly.

Silver: Sorry for the trouble I caused. I appreciate you taking the time to wake me up.

Arlen: It’s fine. I was just on my way back from the post office and saw you laying there on the side of the path.

Silver: Post office? Not many students go there with all the technology available today.

Arlen: Unfortunately, I’m not the best with technology, so I go there quite frequently. Today, I was picking up a card my stepparents sent me.

Silver: A card? Were they congratulating you about your performance in the recent track meet?

Arlen: No, they sent me a birthday card.

Silver: Birthday? I’m terribly sorry if I missed it. Happy-

Arlen: Slow down, Silver, my birthday’s not until tomorrow.

Silver: Really? I apologize for getting ahead of myself.

Arlen: Quit apologizing, birthdays aren’t a big deal anyways. Just another day of the year.

Silver: Oh? Are you not a fan of big celebrations on your birthday?

Arlen: Not really? I don’t know, I just don’t understand the need to get so worked up about them. All you’re doing is getting older, what’s there to really celebrate?

Silver: Hmm. I suppose people just like to celebrate that you lived another year, uplifting your growth and the memories you made in that short span of time.

Arlen: Sounds about right, I guess. The best part’s getting to eat cake.

Silver: Really? I thought you weren’t a fan of sweets?

Arlen: Just ice cream, it’s way too sugary for my tastes. I enjoy cakes and pies just fine.

Silver: That explains Malleus’s initial reaction to you…

Arlen: Huh?

Silver: It’s nothing, just…hold on a moment, I just got a text from Sebek.

Silver: Oh no, I was asleep longer than I thought. I must be getting to the Equestrian Club. Farewell, Arlen!

Arlen: Bye, Silver.

Arlen: Guess I’d better hurry on myself. Chatting with Silver’s nice, but I can’t be late to practice or else I’ll have to run extra laps.

.✨✨✨.

Arlen: There’s nothing like a hot shower after practice.

Arlen: Speaking of practice, I need to write down my new personal best. Can’t believe I managed to shave off four seconds today. Maybe it’s some early birthday luck.

Arlen: The next track meet isn’t for another month, so I’ve got plenty of time to cut down more time off my personal best. I wish I could shave off some more time from our relay record, it could definitely use some improvement.

Arlen: Competing individually comes easier to me than competing as a group. When it’s just me, I only have to worry about myself. When I’m competing with others, I not only worry about myself, but I have to worry about the other guys as well. It’s a lot of trusting one another, which doesn’t come easily…especially in a school like Night Raven College.

Arlen: Luckily, Jack and Deuce handle their share of the relay just fine. Although, I wonder if by becoming closer it would shave off time for our relay….hmmm. Maybe I’ll treat them to dinner tomorrow after practice, they’d enjoy that.

*Bzzt*

Arlen: My phone? Who could that be? Oh, Soren wants to FaceTime. Sure for just a couple minutes.

Soren: ARLEN! What took you so long? It took you like three rings instead of two! What-

Arlen: Slow down, Soren. I just got back from showering after practice. I’m a bit sore today.

Soren: Oh, I see! Must be trying to beat my time from the track meet last week.

Arlen: Yeah right, you’re the one trying to catch up to me. Speaking of which, you’re going to have to work harder, I just shaved off four more seconds.

Soren: WAIT WHAT?! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! Kai won’t believe me when I tell him tomorrow.

Arlen: I could always send you a picture of my time as proof.

Soren: Ha ha, very funny. Laugh it up while you can, you’ll be eating my dust soon enough.

Arlen: As if.

Soren: Oh let me tell you what happened in class today! So I was sitting with Neige…

*Time Passes*

Soren: I couldn’t believe it when Chenya came out of alchemy lab with bright green hands.

Arlen: Well that’s what you get when you mix aloe and pixie dust.

*Knock*

Lilia: Arlen, it’s past lights out. Off to bed with you.

Arlen: My bad!

Arlen: Sorry, Soren, we’ll have to talk later.

Soren: That’s fine. But before you go, I’ve got one last thing to say to you.

Arlen: What?

Soren: Happy birthday, Arlen!

*Click*

Arlen: Huh? Is it really-

Arlen: We talked for that long!? So that’s why he kept flying through topics, just to get to midnight.

Arlen: Wait…

Arlen: Why was Lilia doing lights out checks so late!? What was he doing?!

Arlen: No use wasting time thinking about that. I’ve got to get to bed so I can get up early.

.✨✨✨.

Arlen: Time to start the day. It’s nice waking up early because the dorm bathroom is completely empty. Most people don’t get up at the crack of dawn like I do. Sometimes I run into Sebek or Malleus, which is quite the jump scare as Idia would say.

Arlen: Alright, quick shower then it’s time to head out.

Arlen: I don’t spend too much time on my appearance. Just combing my hair, brushing my teeth, the usual. No point spending extra time when it’ll just get messy from the wind later.

Arlen: Some guys go all out with makeup and hair products, but that’s just not my thing. Just some lotion will do just fine. Dry skin gets on my last nerve.

Arlen: Alright, next on my morning routine. Time to go get the feed from my room. I like being outside early, it’s a good way to clear my head. I feed the animals around the dorm while I’m at, might as well since I’m already out.

Arlen: I can see the birds waiting up in the rafters of the courtyard. They always wait up there, never getting close till I put the feed out…I hope they’ll grow to like me some day. Animals just don’t seem to like me, I get it though.

Arlen: Hmm?

Arlen: A little sparrow is hopping right in front of me? Want something to eat little guy?

Arlen: Huh? Another bird’s come down? A rabbit too? I haven’t even put down any food yet!?

???: Getting along with the animals, Arlen?

Arlen: Silver! That explains why the animals got closer than normal.

Silver: I’m sure they’re just finally coming around to you.

Arlen: As if.

Silver: You just gotta have more confidence in yourself. The animals can tell you’re nervous. Here.

Arlen: Huh? What are you doing with that bird? Silver, wait-

Silver: Just put your hand out like so and the bird will have a nice place to sit. Perfect.

Arlen: Silver, take it back before I hurt-

Silver: You’re fine, just breathe. See? It’s okay.

Arlen: …

Silver: Arlen? I’m sorry if I rushed you into-

Arlen: So what are you doing up so early? Doesn’t a sleepyhead like you snooze through the morning.

Silver: Usually, yes, but I had something important this morning.

Arlen: Really?

Silver: Arlen, happy birthday.

Arlen: Huh? Ha…ha ha ha!

Silver: What’s so funny?

Arlen: Something important? It’s just my birthday. You said that like it was the secret to saving the world from darkness or something.

Silver: It’s important to me. I wanted you to know your birthday mattered to me, so much so I wanted to be the first to say it.

Arlen: Really? That’s…really kind of you. Thank you, Silver.

Silver: You’re welcome, Arlen. I hope you don’t think that’s all I prepared, I also made some coffee cake in the kitchen for breakfast.

Arlen: Pulling out all the stops aren’t you.

Silver: Of course for a friend like you.

[the-oblivious-writer]

Tara Carpenter: Headcanons

Headcanons

Note: Random Tara hcs that've been running through my mind

I feel like she's a picky eater - like "orders chicken fingers and french fries at fancy restaurants" picky eater

Steals Borrows Sam's clothes

Has knee problems. Even before gf she had shitty knees but gf certaintly didn't help

She walks with a little limp that's a result of Amber's attacks

Hated gym. She constantly tried to get out of it by bringing up her asthma or saying she was on her period/pmsing

Always begged Sam to let her ride in the shopping cart whenever they went grocery shopping (still does)

She's a funny/flirty drunk and grows clingy

She could zone out for hours on an object, observing it in all its glory

She has allergies (Sam's been epi-pen trained for as long as Tara's been alive)

Tried weed once. Instant regret.

Eats youtube essays UP

Short attention span. Can't watch a tiktok longer than 2 seconds without someone playing subway surfers on the other side

If something genuinely interests her, she's gonna know a shit-load about it (ex: sharks or lizards)

Addicted to energy drinks and coffee - really anything with caffeine she's downing

Texts like she's sending you a ransom note

Hates her birthday, hates Christmas, tolerates Halloween

Puts hot sauce on everything. Ketchup used to be the thing she put on everything, but as she says to Sam and her friends, she's matured since then

Two left feet, terrible coordination

Farsighted. Can't see for shit without being at least 10 feet away. She's stubborn about it too. Whenever Sam confronts her about it, she brushes it off as nothing before walking into a wall

Laughs at the most unserious things/during inappropriate moments

Spongebob lover, they're the same person idc

Complains about Sam's snoring even though she's just as loud a snorer - if not louder

Puts ketchup in her mac n' cheese and calls it a delicacy. Since she was left to take care of herself - her Sam and sperm doner being gone and Christina off at business trips - she learned to do with what she had You know when Janine (abott elementary) mixed peanut butter with her ramen? Or when Jake (brooklyn nine nine) called a spoon full of mayo with nuts sprinkled on top a snack? Yeah. Tara.

When Sam first had a chance to see the atrocious meals Tara put together, she started teaching Tara how to cook basic, and proper, meals. At least she's trying to

Tara gets a little too excited when she's put on chopping duty

Sleeps with a night light (those ladybug ones have her name written all over it)

'Lilo and Stich' is her comfort movie, this isn't up for debate. She feels connected to the movie on another level, and every time she watches it she ends up in tears

-----------

A/N: I feel strongly about the last one

[yourheart-inmyhands]

I’m here to add onto the idea/request of a previous fic with the archons with a reader who is a fallen god/archon. So instead of reader being banished or overthrown like how the archons may think.. turns out reader/old text books were keeping something from them. Reader faked their death (like another certain archon *cough* *cough* zhongli) and when pressed into why they faked their death. All that reader says is ‘I fell in love with a human centuries ago yada yada and gave up some of my powers and status’ yeah turns out they’ve been human for a couple hundred years and still held onto their god like powers and life span😭. So reader is all like ‘I can be an archon if I do desire again. BUT I grew used to living as a human and I’ve gotten used to you 🫶’ (totally not because they don’t want to resume their duties and explain to their citizens why they were “dead” for a couple centuries) 

hi i only did venti and zhongli for this because i'm trying to cut back to 2-3 characters per post so if you want to see the other two feel free to requests them! i'll be sure to attend to it quickly since i technically shorted you on this one, which i apologize for, i hope you still enjoy it :D

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including delusional behaviors, obsessive behaviors, mentions of implied violence, mentions of nations being destroyed, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Venti feels jealous at first, you had loved someone else? But he quickly gets over it, focusing on the fact that you were in fact, technically an Archon. He couldn’t guess which one you were, so you’d have to tell him, but he’d be fascinated to hear about the stories of who your people used to be. It’s pretty clear that wherever you used to is no longer an existing place, the Archon war having wiped out any nation and their God that could not hold themself up against the powerful beings. Venti feels a sick satisfaction at the idea that he may have been responsible for destroying your previous region, he thinks it’s funny.

Venti listens as you tell of your previous home, your people and their land, your first love. He doesn’t care to think of who your first love was, praising the fact that they were dead right now and he was alive and here with you. He tries to remember back to the Archon War, trying to think of who had been responsible for wiping out your nation. It was a long time ago and with many smaller gods culled so that the strongest seven could remain in control. Venti hopes it was him who had the pleasure of destroying your lands, he thinks it would be a cute little coincidence that he had destroyed your people whilst you pretended to be mortal and ran around with a human man. He tells you that you don’t need to return to Archon status, that no one was waiting for you, and if you weren’t careful one of the others might step out of line and execute you. He would never let it happen, but he uses it as a scare tactic, wanting to keep you weaker and more human, below him.

Yandere!Zhongli would find it curious, his extensive memory bringing back the exact playthrough of what had happened back then. He remembers hearing of a lesser god passing, he remembers smiling, taking advantage of your ‘passing’ back then to overtake your land. He doesn’t bring it up to you, not wanting to tarnish his perfect image of himself in your mind. 

It was kind of sickening, that Zhongli could remember way back, back when he still went by Morax, back when killing off weaker gods was something more commonplace. You had passed mysteriously, leaving behind a godless nation with no one to protect it. And Morax was all for having the upper hand. He didn’t bring it up as you reminisced about your days in power, contemplating about returning. “Who left is there to return to? In this day and age you couldn’t gather a following without it being seen as a declaration of war to one of the currently throned seven, me included.” It’s a subtle way of putting it but Zhongli made it clear that it was best you continued to lay low, lest physical action need be taken, Zhongli included. The man much preferred that you say weaker and below him on the food chain, in your place, where he could easily assert his control over you.

[thalia-vargas]

It's been twenty-nine days since my life crumbled like sand beneath my feet, making it twenty-nine whole days since I've been lying to myself.

I left Los Angeles that very same night without so much as a goodbye; not to any friend I made there or to any employer kind enough to hire me. It's a very poor way to thank their generosity, I know, but I simply couldn't stay in the city for much longer. Not with so much pain, shame and regret bottled up inside. I wanted so badly for the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

But as I stood in front of the ticket counter at LAX, I was stomped as to where to go.

Los Angeles was meant to be my new home — a sprawling city bursting with people, cultures, and opportunities. A place where I could make lifelong friends and maybe even find my soulmate or something. Fall in love. Make a family. Grow old in a house I built with my own hard-earned money. And be surrounded by my children and grandchildren, all eager to hear about the crazy adventures that led me here. That had been the dream. But not anymore.

I don't know how long I must've spaced out in front of the ticket counter, but I do recall the woman commending me for a fully stamped passport. She was impressed with how many places I've visited in the short span of three years. But to me, I see it as nothing more than failed attempts to find 'home'.

I remember smiling though, if a twitch of the lip could even be considered a 'smile'. But I didn't want to seem arrogant just because I'd been to so many places. I certainly didn't travel with luxury. I worked my ass off for every ticket and every mile.

Eventually, I just became too tired. So, before it even hit me, I had asked her for a one-way ticket to the only place that's ever come close to being my home: my grandmother's hometown in Cartagena.

It's been twenty-nine days since that flight, and twenty-nine restless nights of sleeping in the same room I grew up in. It's not bad, really. Not bad at all. It just didn't feel the same without my grandmother. Too quiet for my taste. Still, every day I force myself up to clean the house I'd abandoned.

I broke down in tears the first day. And the second day. And the third. I didn't know what I was doing or what I wanted to do in the future. But I tackled what I could, when I could. At the very least, I didn't want to welcome the new year with dust and cobwebs in every corner. Since then, I've kept the same pace; slow but steady, focusing on moving forward, even if it meant taking only one step at a time. I pushed when I could, cried when I needed to and rested when my body called for it. A month's worth of hard, quiet work was really a testament to what a great motivator grief can be.

Do I still miss him? Yeah. I'd be a liar if I denied it. But I try not to think about that anymore. Or at the very least, I've bought a potted plant for every single time I've wanted to text him 'just to say hello'. Anything to distract myself. Now, they line my kitchen windowsill, bringing life into my grandmother's modest home.

But tomorrow, tomorrow they go on the ground. They deserve all the sun, and rain, and room needed to grow as freely as they'd like. And hopefully, by the time I open my grandmother's old lodging, they'd be bearing flowers, too.

[oneknightstand-if]

I've seen lots of people mention this already but the sheer amount of variation in your game is absolutely insane, you have to account for so much, how you're able to keep track of everything is beyond me. Not to mention the ROs and their routes, 5 possible dispositions towards each RO? Amazing. Possessed route and sabotage, besides normal routes with their own tons of variations and mute and cloudcuckoo text flavor. Fears and vices, mc backgrounds. Simply amazing that one person can do this much work and in such a short span of time. Great job!! 👏 I also keep seeing some people ask you to write the book club route despite you saying that you're tired of that chapter, and as much as I'd like to play it as well, please, don't feel pressured to do so anytime soon, just keep working on what you want and know that the majority of us players don't want authors to burn out, we can wait! No need to reply to this, just wanted to say how impressed I am as well. Take care!!

Thanks for the comments! Yeah, all the variations are very time consuming, and while I have a pretty detail-oriented brain, inevitably I'll ultimately screw up some coding here or there or forget to cover a particular version, but hopefully all of that will be caught during the beta testing process.

Otherwise, thanks for understanding about the Book Club. I went ahead and added a question regarding Book Club updates to the FAQ and so will no longer be responding to any further update requests regarding that either here or on the CoG forums.

[piwo-zero]

I just saw a post that is like "um stop writing big paragraphs of text because it's hard to read them and it's better to start every single action in a new paragraph" which basically gives you a 1-3 sentences long paragraph at best.

DON'T DO THIS. if u want to space things out or give your writing a better pacing etc - just learn how to use punctuation! or maybe italics if you are feeling... freaky.

see what I did there? yeah.

I'm not against using short paragraphs - sometimes they are useful. but for the love of God! pick up a fucking book, you fucking illiterates! your brain is half eaten by consumption. you need everything fast fast fast fast!! and here and now and ohh my attention span is so bad I can't focus on anything longer than five words....

I fucking hate this fanfic-style, tumblr-induced way of writing. like honestly no one does it this way besides fanfiction writers.

again: I'm not saying it's always bad, but just... look at this example of how the picture of dorian gray is written and how you guys would like it to be.

this is the original paragraph from the picture of dorian gray:

and this is how y'all would like it to be written:

honestly I feel like I'm shitting on Oscar Wilde's memory. but I guess that (according to Tumblr) he was a bad writer so I shouldn't be sad or anything

I'm also pretty sure this post is literally going nowhere because of the big chunk of text at the beginning. some people might be too lazy to read it idk

[sablegear0]

Tumblr serves some whackass ads but this might be my favourite in a while. There’s just so much about it, it’s almost one of those “gets worse the longer you look” type deals.

The art is more than likely algogen slop but I’m almost inclined to give this one the benefit of the doubt, if only because it gives the impression that the theoretical “artist” maybe just took the time to render every version of their sketch. Of an absurdly buff lion-man dressed only in cargo shorts running through the desert screaming. (The subject in itself feels very human, ngl)

Second is the actual content of the text, which… Is a “no alcohol challenge” that specifies only breakfast and lunch meals? Not dinner, which to my assumption is where most people might include alcohol? It’s not even a no-carb list if you actually look closely. (Also misses the 16+ age span, depending on your country’s drinking age)

The text is where any pretension to being hand-drawn or human-made falls apart. You can see the typeface in the small images gets weird and wobbly. Someone may have manually corrected the big one but the small ones… they’re legible, barely, but they ain’t right.

The last bit is the red brand at the bottom there. Idk who “mad” is. The lion-man certainly looks mad. If it was algogen it’s possible someone tried to put MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving, a fairly well-known group at least in North America) on a no-alcohol ad and the generator messed up the lettering.

But yeah this one… I don’t know. They tried to capture the vibe of those “buff generic human does chair yoga” ads but got freaky with it.

[hopeswriting]

Not the same anon as before but I have a question about Sephira and Luce. Would Sephira becoming the Sky arcobaleno not defeat the whole purpose of the pacifiers being made? Kawahira states they were made because the earthlings could not maintain the balance themselves anymore. I know people in her family eventually became cursed but it doesn’t seem like she is? In that picture you show her being normal sized and not a baby too.

My question for Luce is that I swear we see her become cursed on the mountain and become a baby. Why did she become a baby if she got the curse from her mom but not Aria or Uni? Why did she bother going to the mountain? To keep up appearances?

I hope all the questions are okay. These are questions I’ve always wondered and you seem knowledgeable

[in reference to this ask]

hi nonny, thank you for the ask!

yeah we're all good with all your questions, no worries haha. to answer them in order, i do get why you'd think that about sepira. like you said, as the numbers of earthlings started decreasing, eventually they weren't enough of them left anymore to be able to keep sustaining the seven stones that was originally the trinisette by themselves. so they took some of the stones and broke them down into seven more parts (the pacifiers), so they could use the help of humans to keep sustaining it.

but it still doesn't change the fact that it's their duty to look after the trinisette, right? and as earthlings, they're the ones most suited to do it and likely can do it the more safely/longer/while feeling minimum side effects from it. so i can see sepira ending up with the sky pacifier/choosing to become its bearer as her caring to keep doing her duty for as long as she can, but also as some kind of safeguarding of some sort. because like, humans weren't supposed to be the ones to look after the trinisette nor are they naturally suited for it. and the sky pacifier being a particularly important part of the trinisette, they choose one of them to be its bearer, give the six other pacifiers to humans, and keep looking after the remaining stones themselves. (because remember, but at this point there's still five earthlings left, including kawahira and sepira.)

and yes, sepira isn't a baby in that panel, but it's because none of the sky arco are ever turned into babies! i know in the anime luce is shown being turned into a baby, but it's during the arco filler arc so, you know, it's not canon. and even in the manga there's some cover pages where amano drew her as a baby too, but i really think it's just for aesthetic purposes so she doesn't stand out from the rest of the arco she's drawn alongside with. because as far as the manga in and of itself says, in the rainbow arc byakuran explicitly says the sky arco aren't turned into babies, but in exchange their particular curse takes the form of a short lifespan.

[ID copied from alt-text: Panels from the manga Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Byakuran says, "The Arcobaleno of the Sky's curse is different from all the other Arcobaleno's curses... Their forms can't be changed. Luce, Aria, and Yuni... All of them are connected with the same... short life-span. /End ID]

as for the way luce ended up cursed compared to aria and uni, bermuda explains to reborn and tsuna that kawahira chooses/curses the arco through two different methods. i'm not gonna put all the relevant panels because it's basically the whole of chapter 386 lol, but yeah, here:

[ID copied from alt-text: Other panels from the manga. Bermuda says, "A passing on to the next generation is set up. Sometimes as a contracted job, sometimes as a representative war. These two things happen once, spread out far apart in a cycle so that it doesn't remain in people's memories. The Rainbow Representative War and the Fated Day." /End ID]

so basically, kawahira either gathers the next generation of arco under the guise of gathering the seven strongest, giving them missions so they can prove themselves worthy of the title, until eventually he gives them a last mission to gather them together so he can curse them. or he baits them with the possibility of earning their freedom from the curse by winning the representative war, making them (which is so sick of him now i think about it actually) gather the current strongest of the next generation so he can choose among them who are the most suitable to become the next arco.

so luce ending up cursed through the fated day is because by then, the cycle of choosing/cursing the next arco was just back to happen through the fated day. and meanwhile aria and uni inherited it from their respective mother, because the sky arco's curse is a short lifespan, and so there's the need of multiple sky arco for one generation of arco until the time to choose the next generation of arco altogether comes around again. or at least, that's how i personally make sense of the arco lore haha.

hopefully i managed to clear things up for you some nonny!

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, October 17th, 2024.

Do you know anybody who is ambidextrous? My sibling was somewhat ambidextrous when it came to sports, but I think they were otherwise predominantly lefthanded.

Have you ever been 4-wheeling? I haven't, but it sounds like a fun time.

What’s the weather been like today? Cloudy and breezy and currently 75*F. Ideal weather for hiking at the Mountain Park. The leaves are really starting to change now, and I felt fully immersed in the autumn spirit.

What was the last exam you sat for? I'm not sure.

Will you be attending any weddings in the near future? No.

Do you currently have any unread text messages, and who from? I have a technically unread message from Oliver on Instagram, but I already know what it says because it popped up on my phone notifications.

Speaking of text messages, what colour is your cell phone? Black.

Do you live anywhere near the woods? We live a couple of blocks away from the Fountain Creek, which does have some woodsy areas, but I don't think I would call it "the woods."

Would you ever consider a career in the tourism industry? No.

Do you have any important anniversaries you celebrate? There aren't any that I celebrate, but speaking of anniversaries, today marks one year since I started driving again.

When was the last time you used q-tips? I have no idea.

How does your hair react to humid weather or rain? It doesn't. Even when I had longer hair, I didn't notice any reaction.

What’s your favourite flavour of iced tea? Just plain ol' regular iced tea is fine with me.

Do you understand music theory? No. Well, that is to say, I've never learned about it. I might understand it just fine if I cared to.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Somewhere between 8-9 hours.

Are you expected to act professionally at your job? I'm not employed at the animal shelter, but I am "basically staff" at this point. I'm not expected to behave super professionally around my immediate coworkers (in fact, there are times when we can get downright ridiculous), but with most of the rest of the staff/management, I try to maintain a fairly professional standard.

Infomercials: entertaining or stupid? They were my source of late-night sanity during my late teens/very early 20s when I couldn't sleep and nothing else was on TV.

What’s your favourite brand of energy drink? I don't have one.

Do you have (or have you ever had) acne? Yeah. My skin is looking pretty good lately, though. I swear it's that new lotion I bought. It's made a remarkable difference in such a short time span.

When was the last time you got pins-and-needles? A few weeks ago, I noticed that my hands were ever so slightly tingly. At the time, for lack of a better explanation, I figured it could be anxiety-related. However, things have calmed down significantly since then, yet the feeling still persists. Now my best guess is the way I rest my forearms on the edge of the computer desk while typing - which I just noticed thanks to this question. So, thank you, lmao. You may have just solved this mystery. ;D

Why did you click to take this survey? It's one I haven't taken before, and the questions looked interesting enough. It's also a good length; something I can finish before having my afternoon snack.

If you have glasses, have you ever smashed them? No.

How do you get new music? Buy or download or what? I don't buy or download music. If I want to listen to something, then I just use YouTube.

Have you ever sent someone an abusive text message? Yeah.

Do you require a lot of time to do things or are you quick? It depends on what it is. It takes me a while to read a book or fill out surveys (always pondering/getting nostalgic/etc), but I'm fairly quick when it comes to housecleaning or tasks at the animal shelter (unless we have more than adequate staff - then I tend to replace efficiency with attention to detail because I know I have the extra time to do so).

What will be the next concert you attend? Concerts aren't really my thing.

Turn the nearest television on, what’s on? I doubt the nearest television even works anymore. It's the one in the living room and it hasn't been turned on for years now.

How often do you “wake up on the wrong side of the bed”? As in grumpy? Almost never. But exhausted and a bit sad? Almost always.

Can you rap? Naw.

What do you usually order when you’re at McDonald’s? I don't have a usual order, but if I was to order something now, it would most likely be something Halloween-themed.

Are there any textbooks near where you are right now? No.

What’s the time? 2:43pm.

Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? I've never used one before.

How’s your body temperature right now? My hands are a bit cold, but the rest of me is comfortable.

Do you use Celsius or Fahrenheit? Fahrenheit.

What was the last thing you got a really good deal on? I'm not sure.

Have you ever studied any ancient societies? Not seriously, like not on a scholarly level or anything like that, but I love learning about ancient history, so…!

Do you like to wear long, dangling earrings? No. My ears aren't pierced.

What was the last reason you took medicine? Oncoming migraine.

Do you exercise regularly? I get a fair bit of exercise at the shelter because I'm on my feet for most of the day, but as for deliberate/specific exercise, no.

What is your coffee of choice? (flat white, cappuccino, etc.) If I'm ordering it from somewhere, then probably a cappuccino or macchiato. At home, either black or with almond milk + creamer.

Do you pay any attention to your country’s politics? A bit.

Are you feeling worried about anything right now? I'm not worried about anything related to the near future.

Are you a gossipy type of person? Sometimes.

When will your next meal be, and do you know what it will consist of? Dinner, and it will most likely be a chicken salad.

Tell me about the sickest you’ve ever felt. Probably the flu I had in late 2016.

What’s your opinion on your in-laws, if you have any? I don't have any in-laws. My sibling does have a partner (not married), but I've never met them.

Do you make excuses often, or do you just get things done? I've started making more excuses when it comes to housecleaning. I'm tired. I'm busy. If I do that, then I won't have time to do this, etc. Aside from that, I tend to just get things done.

Have you seen your best friend today? We chatted briefly over IG.

What can you smell right now? Nothing in particular.

Any important birthdays coming up? No.

Fireworks: yay or nay? I am fully aware of the reasons why they're awful, but since I can't stop them, I just enjoy them.

Do you have any plans for the rest of the day? Nothing much. Just the usual activities, plus finishing up the rest of the most recent Belief Hole podcast.

How about tomorrow? Any plans? I'll be at the animal shelter all day.

Do you know how to do your own laundry or does someone else do it? I do it.

If you could eat or drink anything right now, what would it be? I'm going to make a fruit and yogurt bowl after I finish with this survey.

What colour are your headphones? Black.

Think of the last long car trip you had, where did you go? I'm not sure.

Do you have a Twitter account that you use regularly? No.

Have you ever seen a horseshoe crab? They’re scary, right?! Only in pictures/videos.

What was the last movie you saw at the theatres? Wild Robot.

Are there any new movies that you’d really like to see? Wicked.

If you could play one instrument flawlessly, what would it be? Guitar or harp.

Do you overthink a lot of things? Unfortunately. I wonder what it's like to not overthink everything to death.

Is there anybody you miss but can’t see again? Yeah.

[findmeintheferns]

your bestfriend’s roommate

(part one)

𝓢𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂: you’ve had the same plug for years, but he wasn’t replying & you were desperate. your bestfriend had been wanting you to switch to her roommate for ages so fuck it. problem is though, you weren’t expecting her to be this attractive…

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰: a lil bit of smut, drug use (weed), slowish burn, kinda boring sorry lol writers block

𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 2.2 k

𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰: dealer ellie williams (TLOU) x reader (y/n)

You stare down at your phone for the 100th time only to once again get met with a blank screen. It had been 5 whole hours yet still nothing. You tried not to let it bother you but at this point you were well and truly feeling impatient. You groan, flipping the phone over so you can no longer fixate on it.

Dina notices your frustration, “I’ve told you so many times that my friend is a way better plug, she replies almost instantly. Plus, she’s in my dorm, you can visit me & stock up at the same time.”

You’ve heard this spiel before, but you weren’t sold on it. You liked having a dealer that was strictly business, you’ve never been one to want to stay and chat, you just want to get your weed so you can go home & get high as soon as possible. Plus, you’ve had the same dealer for over 2 years now, going to someone else would be like a betrayal.

You go to reply but Dina beats you to it,

“Yeah, yeah I know. You guys have an unbreakable bond or whatever.”

You give her a small smile, “I mean hey if he doesn’t reply in the next hour, I might get desperate. I told Alex we could smoke & get ice-cream tonight.”

Dina lets out a snort, “Oof yeah, you’ll definitely be needing the weed if you’re spending the night hanging out with him.”

You roll your eyes, not wanting to reply to her snarky comment. You had nearly been dating for nearly a year, but she still hated him. She never really liked him in the first place, she says ‘his vibe is off’, whatever that means. After a little incident with his best friend Mia however, her dislike turned to hatred. Nothing bad even happened, you overreacted. They hung out, you weren’t aware, and you walked in on them hugging. You got upset at first yeah, but he reassured you that it meant nothing, that she was having a bad day and it was just a simple hug. You believe him, so that’s that.

Dina grabs your phone from off the table, distracting you from your thoughts.

“Just let me put her number in your contacts in case okay? Her name’s Ellie.”

“Fineeeee. I need to go anyway. If I don’t study for this exam I’m screwed, I slept through like half of the lectures.” You sigh, stressed about all the content you have to somehow remember over the span of a few days.

Dina pulls you into a hug, “You’re terrible. Good luck with that, I love you dumbass.”

You pull away and laugh at your brutally honest friend as she begins to walk away, “Yeah, yeah, I love you too I guess.”

You grab your bag, placing a tip under your now empty coffee cup before leaving the little café.

You stare at the clock, it’s an hour before you’re meant to meet Alex and your dealer still hasn’t replied.

“Ughhhhhhh. Whatever. Fine. Fuck it.” you murmur, pulling out your phone.

You really didn’t feel like texting a new dealer, you’re pretty introverted already and it seemed like a lot of effort. But what were you supposed to do.

You unlock your phone and open contacts, Ellie’s profile popping up straight away. You send a short text, introducing yourself as Dina’s friend and asking if she had anything to sell tonight, you weren’t in a place to be picky.

To your surprise it was only 5 minutes before you received a reply. Her response was short too;

-

ellie: yeah, i’ve got a bunch. do you want to come here & pick up? that way you can decide what you want

y/n: oh okay, sure. what time?

ellie: now?

y/n: okay. see u in 5.

ellie: you know where to find me

-

You did appreciate that she didn’t drag out the conversation, but you were still nervous about meeting someone new. Dina’s dorm room is only a short walk from yours which you couldn’t lie, was pretty convenient if Ellie did become your new dealer. Once you arrive at the door you stop for a moment and take a deep breath in, hoping the conversation would be as short as it always was with your normal dealer. If only Dina was here to make things less awkward, but she had volleyball on tonight.

You knock and the door opens instantly. Suddenly your whole body completely stiffens as your eyes meet the girl opening the door. You know you should be speaking right now, but you’re weren’t mentally prepared for this. She looked absolutely nothing like you had imagined. You don’t know why but you kinda assumed she’d be on the gross & dodgy side. She was in fact the complete opposite. She was wearing baggy grey sweatpants and a tank top that hugged her body. Her short brown hair was half tied up in a little knot, her fringe falling over her face. She must of been getting ready for bed. You really wish Dina had gone into more detail when describing her, you weren’t prepared for her to be this…well, attractive, for lack of better words.

“Y/n? You here to pick up yeah?” Ellie’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Hey, yeah, sorry. Yes I am” you quickly respond, kinda embarrassed about the pause.

“All good, come in and I’ll get you what you need. Sorry about the mess.”

You walk inside the dorm, you had been in there before obviously, but not while Ellie was there. You never even really payed attention to her side of the room yet now you can’t take your eyes off it.

“So, what are you after? I’ll see if I have some.” Ellie asks

“Honestly I don’t mind. Whatever’s your favourite at the moment”

You don’t want to drag this out, you need to head to Alex’s soon and you already feel awkward from the previous interaction.

“Hmmm. Probably blue dream then, it’s mostly Sativa. Really helps with relaxing.”

You shrug “I trust you.”

She puts your weed into a small ziplock baggie and you pay. You quickly try and say goodbye as you walk towards the door but she stops you

“Yeah you’re gonna have to stay at least for a little longer.”

Confused, you stare at her blankly, “Umm, why?”

She returns your glare, “Have you never picked up before or something?”

This kinda offends you and you don’t really know why.

“Yes I have. For your information my dealer just isn’t responding tonight. This is a one off.”

Ellie scoffs, “Huh, lemme guess. Derek is your dealer?”

This takes you back for a moment,

“Yeah… how do you know that?”

She laughs, relaxing her stance and moving to lean back onto her bed.

“Makes sense why you don’t know pick up etiquette. You need to stay here for a little so it doesn’t look sus. Otherwise cops will catch on, just like with your friend Derek. He was lazy and now he’s screwed. You definitely won’t be hearing from him for a while.”

Great. Well that makes sense why he wasn’t responding. You sigh and flop down onto Dina’s bed, staring up at the roof. You really don’t feel like staying here for any longer.

“Aww, am I that terrible to hang out with?”

You roll your head to stare at her, but she’s already looking at you. You wonder what she’s thinking.

“It’s not that” You lie, because it kinda is. “I’m just meant to be meeting up with Alex right now”

She laughs to herself again, “Oh that’s right, Alex, your boyfriend.”

“What’s funny about that? How do you even know that?” you retort, pissed off at this point.

“No, no, nothing. Dina told me is all.” She smiles

You sit up, ready to leave, “Right, well, I need to go. Thanks for the weed.”

You move towards the door but once again Ellie stops you before you can open it.

“Hey, I’m sorry” She says softly “I didn’t meant to upset you, stay a little longer and have a joint.”

The way she’s looking at you makes your stomach churn, but not in a bad way. There’s something so endearing about her, even when she’s pissing you off.

“I really should go, I’ll be late” You respond, trying to not be tempted by the offer.

“It’s on me, just because I annoyed you” she smirks.

You know you should decline, but it’s a lot harder than it would seem.

“Fine. One joint”

So, you didn’t just have one joint, you both shared quite a few. You weren’t sure if it was just the weed that made being around Ellie more manageable, but you were actually having fun. You unintentionally lost track of time, talking about anything and everything. Ellie told you all about her Astronomy major and her favourite astronaut, Sally Ride. You told her about how much you hated math and your inability to focus during lectures. You had moved closer together so that you were both laying down, squished on the same bed staring at the roof. Ellie turned her head to face yours,

“You look pretty stoned” she whispered, a big grin on her face.

She was so close to you it made you nervous, but also kinda excited. She looked incredibly attractive, you kept trying to deny it, but you couldn’t help it. The way she held herself, the way she spoke, her looks, all of it was pulling you in even though you knew it shouldn’t.

You giggled, wanting to reply with a snarky comment but being too high to think of one. You went to take the joint from her, but got distracted by the tattoo on her arm. It was pretty big, it was some sort of moth and a fern. You followed it down until it ended, stopping at her hand. You intertwined your fingers with hers, lifting it up so you could get a better look.

“What?” she laughed, confused as to what you were trying to do.

You didn’t think, you just spoke, “You have really attractive hands Ellie”

For a moment she looked taken back by your comment, but she was too high too overthink it. She moved so that her body was on top of yours, your hands still connected. You felt yourself getting wet, too horny to think about the consequences of what was happening right now. She grinded her thigh into your pussy causing your eyes to roll back as you let out a soft moan. She leaned down and pushed your hair behind your ear.

“Oh yeah?” she whispered, replying to your previous statement “You should see what they can d-“

Ellie was cut off by the sound of ringing. Fuck. You jerk up, grabbing your phone. Surely enough, it was Alex calling. What had you done.

“Fuck, fuck-fuck-fuck” you mumble under your breath, picking up the phone call.

-

Alex: “Y/n? You okay?”

Y/n: “Alex I’m so sorry I was studying and I must have fallen asleep.”

Alex: “Ah, no weed then?”

Y/n: “No weed, I’m sorry. Rain check?”

Alex: “All good, love you.”

Y/n: “Love you.”

-

You felt incredibly guilty, probably the most guilty you’ve ever felt in your life. How could you lose track of time like that? How could you act on impulse like that?

Ellie broke you out of your train of thought “Shit. I don’t even know how that happened. Y/n? Are you okay? Fuck I’m sorry.”

You knew you had to leave before you made an even more regrettable decision. Quickly grabbing your stuff you began to walk to the door,

“All good. I need to go. Thanks, erm, for the weed”

Ellie tries to say something else but it’s too late, you are out of the dorm in no time, almost sprinting back to your room.

That night you got barely any sleep, mad at yourself for taking things so far. You knew it was wrong, so why did you feel yourself wanting more.

[cryo-regalia]

ahri / evelynn + not saying “i love you too”

characters: all out ahri, all out evelynn.

— themes: fluff, sfw + very suggestive (evelynn), gender neutral reader.

— note : there’s no 4kidz-ing our way out of this one, evelynn. but yeah, i was gonna do all of kda but then i got tired and didn’t want to work on this anymore LMAO

“When I get back we can spend as much time as you’d like together.”

AHRI’S WORD TOOK THE FORM OF A SMOOTH PROMISE that had you incapable of looking away from where she stood across room, not that you would want to. It was one she had yet to break and you doubted she ever would if the span of time since the two of you met had anything to say about it. Hidden within it was a small apology that you only picked up on because you knew her well enough to hear it, but if you knew her any less then you would have surely missed it. She shrugged one of her many luxury jackets on over her shoulders as she spoke, pulling pink-tipped hair from beneath it with a simple flick of a manicured hand and letting it cascade down her back. 

Brilliant blue eyes outlined by sleek eyeliner and a modest amount of sparkles peered behind her to hold your gaze captive through strands of blonde. It was a shame that she’d have to hide her makeup behind cute sunglasses after she spent an appalling amount of time perfecting each line and swipe of her brush and dab of her egg-shaped sponge, but it wasn’t a thought you lingered on for long. Her heels clicked against the tiles and became louder the closer she got with each steady and practiced step, taking long but patient strides across the room until she was right behind where you sat. Her arms slithered over your shoulders until they knit together over your chest and you could practically feel her lipstick staining your skin with each kiss pressed to your cheeks.

You were sure the position wasn’t comfortable by any means, but she didn’t say anything about it nor did her face betray her if it was digging painfully into her torso. You could feel her vibrate against your back in the form of a rumbling purr resonated through one ear, a light breeze brushing against the back of your legs from what you suspected to be her tails wagging. The instinct to turn your head away had ceased sometime ago (when specifically, you weren’t sure) and instead was replaced with a smile, but it didn’t fail to ignite a comforting warmth deep within your stomach that reminded you of many things: I’m yours. You mean everything to me. I love you.

You weren’t sure how long you two stayed like that for, but a voice in the back of your mind insisted that it wasn’t long enough. You could have drifted off into sleep like that if she didn’t draw away from you and take her warmth and cloud of perfume with her. It was then that you realized just how relaxed you were against her and leaned forward to make yourself comfortable. You had half the mind to reach out to stop her, beg for a little bit longer, but you knew her responsibilities as an idol couldn’t be put on hold forever. Still, you swiveled around in your seat to watch her as she drifted across the apartment and towards the front door with her bag in hand.

“I’ll be back soon!” Ahri called. “I love you!”

Now this was the hard part. You had to bite back a different response before it could slip out of out habit. “Be safe, and text me when you get there!”

The click of the door never came nor did the fragrance of her perfume fade with her, but her shoes came to an abrupt standstill that you almost threw yourself out of your chair thinking she tripped. You waved away the growing cloud of silence to call her name to snap her out of her short-lived stupor, where she did a one-eighty to face where you sat in the connecting room. She stared you down in visible confusion and her ears twitched, daring to lower against nicely brushed hair. She was too damn cute for her own good and this prank you saw online—which was probably staged, in hindsight—was already eating at your conscience.

Being an idol, she had to keep up a mask of composure to maintain her new image after K/DA’s foundation and return. The practiced smiles and dances, the perfect appearance and beauty that could allure anyone and everyone to her if she so desired it, everything. Now, you could practically see every thought flit across her face as feline-esque searched you for answers to whatever questions were being tossed around in her head. Her tails, once in the process of disappearing behind her, abruptly returned in a crystalline collection of nine and hung low by her ankles. She tipped her head to the side and her brows raised in concern that caused you to melt in your own guilt.

“Darling?”

“What’s up?”

“I love you.”

Quietly cursing yourself, you responded: “I love you, too.”

“C’mon, Ev. You’re gonna be late.”

ALONGSIDE A DRAWN OUT SIGH AGAINST YOUR SKIN, Evelynn rolled her eyes with the amount of sass you expected from her and more. You weren’t oblivious to how much she wanted to play and was trying to do so to guide your thoughts elsewhere while her wants and responsibilities as an idol clashed. Not that that stopped her before, but you were trying to drag yourself out of the spider’s web before you could be stuck and finally give in. She must have sensed your continued insistence because her lips contorted into a scowl that wasn’t as harsh as it felt like or was portrayed to be. You knew her long enough to know when she was really annoyed and now wasn’t one of those times.

She eventually detached herself from you and raised her head, taking all of the time in the world to do so. Her eyes—a wondrous amber that you could have gotten lost in if you looked too long—lingered on your throat with a smirk that she didn’t try to hide other than sinking her teeth into her bottom lip. She finally met your gaze and raised a perfectly trimmed eyebrow, as if silently asking you to weigh your options and if you really wanted her to leave. No, obviously, but she had things to do. One arm draped along your shoulder as her opposite hand traced your neck with a slowness that made a shiver run up your spine that you desperately bit back before she could notice. You’d never hear the end of it.

“Fine,” she eventually resigned like she was wounded.

She pushed herself up and off of you with no real hurry behind her movements until she was on her feet with quiet clicks of her heels. Her hands lingered on you for a few moments longer than totally necessary but you weren’t complaining. She stretched out with an intentionally low groan that you would be lying if you said didn’t have some kind of effect on you and she knew as much. Then her focus was back on you, fluttering her lashes as she gazed at you down the bridge of her nose. She bent over with one hand on your hip and other cupping your chin between her fingers, brushing your skin with a deceptively gentle touch while she tipped your head up slightly.

“But this isn’t over, darling.”

To anyone else, it may have sounded as though there was an underlying threat to her words. To you, however, there was anything but and she was just pulling your leg. For now. You grinned into the kiss to your lips and could practically feel the smear left behind, if most of it wasn’t on your neck.

“Until later, then. I love you so very much.”

Your response instinctively sat on your tongue and were ready to slip past your lips without so much as thinking but full of meaning and genuine feelings, but were abruptly bit back before they could form into words. You stilled yourself before you could jolt in place at her unintentional reminder and draw attention and suspicion to yourself, but she must have noticed something because she rose a brow for a few seconds before stalking towards the door with intentional sways. She was making this difficult and you considered throwing your self-imposed game for all sorts of reasons, but you forced yourself to persevere.

“Alright,” you merely said. “See you, Ev.”

The world stopped in place within seconds of your response processing in her pretty head until it was terrifyingly suffocating that you could have sworn she snatch all of the air from your lungs. She stopped in place and turned around to stare down her nose at you with such a scrutinizing glare that you struggled not to shrink under yet couldn’t look away from, even when the tapping of her shoe echoed through your ears and the still air of your shared apartment. She cocked a hip out and learned on one heeled foot, arms crossed along her chest and her fingers drumming down her arm.

“Excuse me?” She finally asked.

“What?” You blinked innocently.

“Is this some sort of joke?” Your girlfriend inquired and drummed her fingers along her arms. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“I...don’t think so?”

“You’re sure?”

You glued your mouth shut as you bobbed your head, unconvinced you wouldn’t give yourself away if you gave her a vocal response.

“Well then...”

You knew that look in her eye the second you saw it and realized you unknowingly trapped yourself in the spider’s web. She was in front of you before you knew it, but there wasn’t an ounce of impatience. She nudged you back down onto the couch with enough force to get you to move but to comply if you weren’t in the mood or up for it. Her arms slipped around your shoulders and her nails grazed the back of your neck, pressing her knee between your legs and leaning against you. Her breath ghosted along your ear and you couldn’t hold back the shiver that raced up your spine or the quivering breath that slipped past your lips. She must have noticed because she barely restrained a low chuckle that certainly didn’t help you in your current situation.

“I’ll just have to remind you myself, darling.”

© cryo-regalia, all rights reserved. do not edit, translate, or repost my works.

[v1leblood]

Sincere question: I remember you talking about retcons to Amy's character in Ward at one point. As someone who also basically despises what was done to that character in that story, I'm curious as to which specific retcons you mean? Was it that she was made into a *literal* rapist on top of all the other stuff, or was it a different thing? Apologies if this brings a maelstrom of Ward discourse your way, I'm just interested in your take.

cw: rape

I was going to write a longer and more thorough reply to this, but wanting to do that has kept me from actually Answering It, so i'm going to forego being thorough and not let it sit in my inbox til next week

the long and short of it is that amy as she's depicted in ward has very, very little resemblance to the amy we see at the end of worm -- and the contrast is intense, because the reader spends a cool 4 arcs with post-birdcage amy during the events of gold morning. i don't have specific citations to pull because i'm Not being thorough, but like... open any chapter after arc 25 where amy appears and it should be pretty obvious.

then there's also the fact that the wretch incident (which was unto itself a horrible, traumatizing violation of bodily autonomy) wasn't written to be Literal rape, despite later insistence in wog that this is the case.

...because wildbow of Back Then said he wouldn't be including any form of sexual assault in the text of worm

I mean, maybe he changed his mind within the span of six months (time between this post and the carol interlude), but... that's not great for credibility, either.

and if we run with the assumption that amy Was a (literal, not just figurative or allegorical) rapist throughout the entire run of worm, then it's just... extraordinarily strange that we spend So Much Time with her over the course of the book, including after she goes to the birdcage -- where we get continuous glimpses into how she's coping, growing and otherwise developing -- And in the finale, where she's framed as having changed for the better and being more grounded than our protagonist is

ward is a huge change to the direction her character seemed to have headed and reads as an overcorrection borne of the post-worm fandom being incredibly nasty towards victoria and too charitable and whitewashy about amy. wildbow said that he wasn't taking fandom reactions and junk into consideration when writing ward, but he also made a point of explicitly describing number man's boring trousers after the joke about him having his dick out got big, so... yeah

so the answer is like. when talking about retcons i'm talking about both of the thing? amy changed a lot insofar as Who She Is and What She Does in ward and the rape thing is contradictory, unnecessary, and really just a big mess

other amy posts that touch on similar topics and i broadly agree with here and here (rip brockton-breakers you are missed). there are others out there i think but i'm too lazy to look them up, sorry!

[thecurioustale]

Thank you!! This is super appreciated. As someone who has no networks and no following, getting feedback of any kind is actually even harder than raising money (!). It's absolutely bewildering to do stuff in a public-facing way for years and years and hear almost nothing but crickets. The feedback I do get is rare enough that individual instances of it visibly move the needle.

So! First things first; I'm delighted to hear you enjoyed the Prelude to After The Hero!

Mainly, however, I wanted to use a few of your points as springboards to raise some issues that I didn't touch on in my original post.

I think it's pretty natural for you as an author to engage with Tumblr primarily through longform text, but it is countervalent to the local culture.

This is something I thought about prior to my return to Tumblr. Most online spaces, just like most real-life ones, have a prevailing etiquette that one declines to comply with at one's own risk. And I explicitly thought about the fact that a lot of the posts I see on here are very short. In this and other respects, I was aware that I might very well return here and come across like a carpetbagger who knows nothing of Tumblr's ways. For all I know, some people did take away that impression.

I didn't act on my concern because, really, what can you do? Be passive for a long time and learn the ropes? All you really end up doing is letting other people live your life for you. As someone who's had a lifetime of not being accepted, I've gotten pretty good by now at just being myself. I figured the basics of good manners would get me by: Put a "keep reading" on super-long posts; provide hyperlinks where beneficial; don't go making trouble for no reason.

But, yeah, one of the impressions I've taken away from my six weeks here is that multiple long-form (or what we call "long-form" nowadays) posts per week is probably more than I need to be doing, and could actively be putting off people who want to read my posts but don't have five minutes a day to do it. (Though that's just speculation because, again, very little feedback!)

However, as a counterpoint to that:

another part is that terrible thing that happened to all our attention spans in the 21st century.

I am one of the few people to whom this didn't happen, and I've decided over the years to more or less be a bastion for others who don't consider a couple of full-figured paragraphs to be "a novel." Though I use the word "essay" casually nowadays, in my heart of hearts I think the only true essay I've written since returning here is the 7,000+ word essay on fat liberation; everything else has really just been casual light reading. My fiction likewise is very much a monument to the long attention span, with its indulgently slow developments. It's not written to be long on purpose, but rather I've consciously chosen to refrain from heeding most of the customs and conventions that would make it shorter, so as to be truer to myself in writing it.

So who knows; maybe it's just as well that I post longer stuff on here. One thing's for sure: In lieu of more data, I don't know!

A Homestuck fan can and will read Ulysses if it's mixed in with a brightly colored collage of jpegs!

This I fully agree with! I'm a writer myself (as in for work) and it's a basic truism that if you want audiences to read your content you should include pictures. I haven't really done any of that here on my return to Tumblr (and I rarely do it in general) because if I'm honest I have a hard time going through the rigmarole of it. But your feedback is a reminder that I really should be doing this.

The biggest problem with Tumblr, as I mentioned earlier, is that trying to get money out of it is absolutely squeezing blood from a stone. The userbase is aging, but it's still dramatically skewed towards people that don't have a lot of disposable income or social prestige

Yeah, for sure. Thankfully, my goal here isn't to get money, because as you say I would expect nothing at all to come from virtually any amount of effort toward that end. My purpose here is just to build my audience. (That's one of the principal reasons I haven't hawked more of my crap here, lol!) I would love to get to a point where I'd be able to reliably get feedback on anything I care to. I would then hope that, from there, the money would eventually take care of itself on the strength of my content here and elsewhere.

Anyway, thank you again very much for the feedback. At the risk of sounding trite, but for the sake of being earnest, "it means more than you know."

My 6-Week Tumblr Return Trial Period Is Up

Happy Autumn! Today is the Autumnal Equinox. (That is, if you're in the Pacific Daylight Time zone or earlier; it's actually tomorrow, the 23rd. The moment of equinox is 11:49 pm PDT this year.)

I came back to Tumblr six weeks ago (actually a little shy of seven weeks but six is the highest whole number) and said that I was going to give it consistent effort till the Equinox to see how I felt about it. Well, that day is today!

I've decided to significantly reduce my Tumblr presence, but not go back to zero like before. I still plan to post at least once or twice a week, and more whenever the fancy catches me. I don't want to slow-roll you, so there's the bottom line.

For those interested, I thought I would talk about my experience since returning.

Why I Came Back

A few years ago on my birthday I set myself a challenge of posting in my journal every day for a year—which I more or less did, and then promptly stopped because it had been a laborious thing for me with limited rewards.

This year on my birthday I decided to try that challenge again, except this time "soft": no formal public announcement, and no penalty if I missed a day. Good thing, too, because I missed a day right away! 😅 But I definitely was doing more and better writing on my journal than I had been, and I liked that. Maybe there was a sweet spot between the strict artifice of one journal entry every day and the sad default of no entries for weeks.

Then, a few days into the challenge, I got the idea of diverting this energy away from my journal and into social media, to try and begin the long process of building an audience for my creative works. I recognize with some dread that when I eventually do finish my next novel, no one is going to read it—because no one is going to know it exists. But that's not set in stone; this is something platforms can help with! And you can't just build a platform overnight. You have to start well in advance. In this post-mainstream-publishing era where independent artists' only hope is to create their own following, I knew that I would have to at least try, if I wanted people to actually read my work.

Building a platform is something I had done years ago, around the time the Prelude to After The Hero was coming out, and I was hugely successful at that time in creating lots of content and lots of channels—i.e. the platform part. But I didn't actually get anywhere in building an audience. Then my life fell apart from multiple catastrophes in a short period, and for many years I had no ability to pursue "platform growth" at all.

But I have that ability again, at least temporarily, and maybe this time I could do better.

Marketing and being social are very hard for me. They don't come naturally to me and I am not good at them. But what I can do is write about my creative work, my life, my take on the world, and anything else that comes to mind. With any luck, that would attract some eyeballs. It's the same thing I was doing eight years ago in my platform-building work, but I could be smarter about it this time, and learn from my past mistakes, which involved a lot of wasted effort that no one ever saw. This time I could try going specifically where the people are: social media! Social media was a part of my original platform-building push eight years ago, but only on the periphery. This time I could put all my platform-building into it, and not all the different channels at once, but just in one single place. Concentrate all my effort on a single point!

So I chose Tumblr: the only social media platform that still seems to reward long-form, thoughtful content. (Not counting YouTube video content.) Facebook is definitely on the way out as a relevant social media network, Twitter was unusually toxic even before the idiot took over, and TikTok to put it politely is not my jam. But Tumblr...I still use Tumblr! I still read several people's pages, and have done so for many years.

I was never actually active on Tumblr as a creator myself. As far as posting my own content goes, my social media home has always been on Facebook (and, for a while, Google+). My "return" to Tumblr this summer wasn't really anything of the sort. Even though my account is many years old, this summer was my first time making a big effort here.

And here's what I learned.

What Worked and What Didn't

I went in with very low expectations. In other words, I didn't actually expect anyone to see my work. I expected to put in my six weeks, toil away in obscurity the whole time, and leave.

But a couple people did notice my return, and reblogged my early posts, and between them they had enough followers that their reblogs got me a small influx of followers. (Hi!) So there were eyeballs, at least. I wasn't talking to the wall. It was a good bet that anything I wrote would at least have a chance of being seen by multiple other people.

A good start!

I set about trying to learn about the Tumblr algorithm and people's usage patterns. I learned that there is a very strong signal to set apart the content that people enjoy seeing and the content they don't. On the scale of Zero to Fire, a lot of what I wrote was either hard Zero or pretty decently Fire.

In the Zero category: My short-form humor was dead on arrival. So was my Tolkienian vocabulary series. My fat liberation essay—by far the biggest effortpost I made during my six weeks here—attracted a single troll and no legitimate engagement whatsoever. At 7700 words I doubt many people even read it. Cool art reblogs were also pretty much a Zero. The people in my tiny audience don't want to see any of this stuff, at least not from me.

In the Fire category: People liked my hot takes on copyright law, left-handedness, rationalist-adjacent topics and framings, some personal anecdotes (but not others), and—most promisingly—some of my discussion about the mechanics of authoring and writing, including topics such as redemption arcs, body diversity representation, losing interest in one's own stories, and long sentences. To the extent I am going to attempt to build a larger Tumblr following over time, this "mechanics of authoring" area is probably where I will focus my primary aim.

Not everything was Zero or Fire. There were also some posts in the middle. My posts actually discussing my own work, The Curious Tale and Galaxy Federal, landed in this space. They mostly fell flat for my general audience, but did noticeably better than the hard Zero stuff due to the consistent engagement of a tiny handful of fans. (Thank you, especially you Fip!)

In terms of financial support, six weeks of content creation on Tumblr yielded no book sales and no new patrons on my Patreon fund, though I did get one pledge increase from an existing patron! This isn't a big surprise, since I didn't make any push to attract new patrons and have made no attempt to hide that my book is also available for free. Still, zero is a noticeable number.

What Tumblr Feels Like

I'll be honest with you: I don't really "do" social media. I never have. I don't like social media. I am a creature of individual websites, web journals / blogs, and message forums. Facebook is the social network I use most (if you don't count YouTube), and my Facebook is set up more like a walled garden than a social network node—i.e., it is almost completely restricted to the people on my deliberately-short friends' list. I use it to look at cool pictures of clouds and landscapes, learn about things going on in my city, and keep in touch with friends. I've never really been one to use social media the way it is intended these days.

Nevertheless: Of all the social networks, I've always had a comparatively positive view of Tumblr. Tumblr is where freaks and weirdos come to be freaky and weird, and I love it. (Sometimes in principle more than practice, but still.) There used to be a tumblr called "Fuck Yeah Fat Upper Arms," and that was what I would point to whenever I had to explain to someone why I love Tumblr.

I also know there are notorious amounts of drama and pettiness on Tumblr, but in my experience it isn't so hard to just sidestep it most of the time. Also, I don't follow all that many people, so I probably just don't see much of this stuff in the first place.

When I returned to Tumblr I am pleased to say that it was basically what I hoped for: lots of wonderful niche and countercultural stuff; really thoughtful discussions that get a lot more depth here than almost anyplace else I've seen; and amazing art and fanart. There were lots of takes I didn't like, of course. Lots of stuff that rubbed me wrong. And the drama is definitely alive and well. But that's just life, right? As amplified by social media in all its unnuanced might. On the whole, I have enjoyed my time spent browsing Tumblr these past six weeks.

One thing actually did bring down my spirits about this place, though, and it has nothing to do with drama or takes I don't like: Tumblr feels kind of addictive. Like a giant industrial vat full of churning slurry, and if you fall in there's no getting out. I have an addictive personality, not to booze or drugs (as far as I know) but to content sources, specifically "content-firehose" websites that always have new things to read. I was stuck on GameFAQs for years back in the day, long after it had become a net-negative for me. Right now my big content addiction is Reddit, and it's definitely a net negative in my life for all the time it wastes for so little in return. And there have been many other content addictions in the years between. It's very hard for me to leave a content-firehose website once I've gotten sucked into it. And I really, really don't want to get sucked into Tumblr.

Like, this place is genuinely cool, but it doesn't "do it" for me like it did the last time I paid close attention to it. Fuck Yeah Fat Upper Arms is gone, and with it the innocence of my youth. Social media just isn't my scene, and returning to Tumblr has definitely given me the impression that I've "outgrown" it altogether. (I wrote a few days ago about one of the reasons why I think this.) I don't particularly want to spend a lot of time here. I don't have that content addiction to Tumblr yet, and I can feel myself actively straining to avoid developing it every time I'm on here. That's why I've only been reading my dashboard a few times a week.

I'm not saying social media is something juvenile that everyone is supposed to outgrow; I'm just talking about my own preferences and issues. My ideal use case for Tumble is to check in with Tumblr periodically and see new Samus Aran fanart and hot takes on cool things I've never heard about or thought deeply enough about. But, in practice, reading my Tumblr dashboard feels like dipping my feet in that vat of slurry I mentioned: It's very time-consuming and a lot of the stuff I see I don't really "need" in my life.

This six-week experiment has actually helped me to realize that, going forward, I should be looking to use social media less in my life, not more. It isn't just all-consuming and energy-draining; it has become kind of evil over the years. Tumblr isn't nearly as bad as some of the worst offenders, but on the whole we're slowly being pushed to use these services in very particular ways, ways which degrade us, and it's nefarious. Not just the abuse of our personal information and privacy, but the way we spend our time and think about the world. Social media seems to be making society actively worse on the whole, and that's down to the profit motives of the people who make the rules about how these services operate. It's probably not a coincidence that Tumblr, as one of the least-problematic major social networks, is also not particularly profitable.

I have lamented for years that I wish we would go back to individual people's websites and enthusiast–owned-and-operated message forums. I really think that this viewpoint is not just my nostalgia glasses talking; I think the individual websites paradigm was a better way of experiencing the Internet and interacting with each other. But while I can't do much to change society's patterns in general, I can at least be deliberate about how I engage with social media myself. And I think I'm going to be doing less of that as time goes on.

My actual public face is my Live Journal, even though it has languished for years. Either it or some successor blog is likely to be an ongoing constant for the rest of my life. I hope people will gradually find me there.

The Long Game

You're not gonna build an audience in six weeks. I know that. Also, in my time here, I've only done one of the two things that one needs to do to build an audience on social media: I've created content. I think my content has been more or less decent. (You can tell me if you think otherwise.)

What I haven't done is heavily engage with other content creators. I haven't done many reblogs; I've done zero asks; and I don't follow other tumblrs in a businesslike mindset of network—I only follow the ones I think I might like to read.

If I were to continue, the next step in my trial period would be a 3-month experiment. I've had enough success here in the past six weeks to justify dedicating another three months of my life to daily Tumblr posts if I want.

In that time I would need to focus more on the "networking" side of social networking. On the content side, I would continue trying to figure out what people like to see and what they don't. But it's the networking stuff that would be next in line for my full attention.

I'm also aware that all of my data are biased by the small size of my audience and the nonrandom composition of it. There is a danger in optimizing for that, from a long-term scalability and optimization standpoint. My social networking efforts would have to be geared toward diversifying my audience as much as growing it, because the truth of the matter is that I don't know yet who "my" audience truly is. Most of the people here now are people who are here because they like other creators and respected those people's recommendations—not because they necessarily like my art. The poor showing of my posts discussing my art kind of speak to that point.

So the question is, do I have a 3-month trial period in me? Or even just another 6-week period?

And that's a really tough question. I need to be writing my books, and I need to be paying my rent, and when I'm here on Tumblr I'm not doing either of those things. The best-case scenario is that by being here I'm setting myself up to pay future rents and have more available time for future creative writing. But in the meantime there are rents coming due in the immediate future, and my mental bandwidth is sickly and limited.

Is Tumblr even the place to build my audience? It might not be! It might be YouTube. It probably is YouTube. But Tumblr isn't nothing, and writing short essays is a hell of a lot faster than producing videos. A few loyal Tumblr followers might be just the pop I would need to get a future YouTube effort off to a running start.

One of my flaws as an entrepreneur is that I hate thinking like one when it comes to this whole sales / engagement / audience-building / marketing stuff. I like thinking about people as people, not as economic partners whose tastes and needs I must carefully accommodate to in order to hopefully earn a living from this someday. And I don't like thinking about my own content here as "content." I hate that word. But I am under no illusions about why I am here. I am not here for fun. I've done my Live Journal "for fun" for twenty years (as of last month!) and I have no audience to show for it. Growing an audience is not about having fun. Bonus points if you can manage to have fun along the way, but what it's really about is giving people an experience that they enjoy and want more of.

Social media is a hungry beast, a dehumanizing force (in my view), and an algorithmic rat race. I would much rather create content on my own terms, rather than try to play the social media game. This is one of the many reasons why I am so bad at the whole marketing side of building a business. Successful entrepreneurs dive right into it and give the people what they want. Like that "emotional damage" mate on YouTube: He gave an interview talking about how he just tried different schticks, not even comedy per se, until he found something that worked on people.

In an ideal world, when my next book is finished I could just press a button and everyone in the world know about its existence, and everyone who is interested could buy it and read it. But in the real world, you have to peck and scrape your way to attention, and I'm just so bad at this that it discourages me from even making the attempt.

So, adding it all up, what I come up with is that it would be wasteful for me to just abruptly give up on Tumblr as suddenly as I returned to it. I've started a ball rolling here, and I can build on that beginning if I want. But I also don't think that people need to hear from me on a daily basis. I'm probably not doing myself any favors by posting effortful content every day, not just in terms of my own sustainability but in terms of the algorithms of Tumblr and the mental bandwidth of my readers.

So I've come to the conclusion that Tumblr is probably not where my audience is going to be built, if indeed I ever manage to build one. But there is some potential here, and, more importantly, this is where the vast majority of my current fans are.

Ergo, going forward I will be reducing my posting frequency to a target of once or twice per week, plus whatever extras I see fit to add. I will continue to test out different types of content to see what catches interest. And I will start playing that social networking game that I dread so much, and try to engage more with others and hawk myself far and wide without looking like I'm trying to hawk myself, because for all that we claim to live in an age of sincerity we absolutely don't, and we will see where things go.

I will revisit this at Halloween, and see how I feel about it.

In the meantime, I will try to take some of this bandwidth I am freeing up and allocate it to other audience-building work. More on that as I have it for you!

If you made it this far, thanks for reading and for giving me some of your time. Please please please do give me some feedback if there's anything you want to know or want to see me discuss.

[humaforever]

Huma relationship Questions

1. Acts like they’re dying when they have a cold.

Harry of course. He just knows that his dramatics will get Uma's attention. He doesn't really care if that's not always a good thing.

2. Gets mad at the TV.

Uma, because people are dumb. She can't stand stupidity.

3. Gets the worst road rage.

Uma does most of the driving, but probably Harry because he will blame all his mistakes on the drivers around him. It's simply easier that way, especially when he's explaining himself to Uma. Just blame everyone else and don't take the fault for anything.

4. What do their text messages look like?

Probably something like this-

5. Packs the whole closet for an overnight trip.

Harry would for sure do this. He can't look imperfect, c'mon! He would probably even pack some of Uma's clothes, for her but also, mostly for himself.

6. Hates the in-laws.

Harry def hates Ursula more than Uma hates James Hook. But let's not make it a competition.

7. Hits the snooze button…11 times.

Both, but probably Uma more so. She likes sleep okay! Who doesn't?

8. Makes the other late for work.

Harry. He needs the kisses and cuddles and it would be rude of Uma to deny him of that. But also Harry will make himself late for work because he can't bear to leave Uma.

9. Who wants multiple kids

I feel like Uma doesn't like the thought of kids just because she's scared that she'll hurt her kids. But I think they'd eventually have kids. Harry probably wants multiple just because he loves his siblings a lot.

10. Takes in the stray dog.

Uma, cuz she's a softy

11. Suggests a 3am trip to McDonald’s.

Uma would suggest it but Harry would encourage it with every fiber of his being and be so excited to go on a date at 3am

12. Who takes longer to get ready

Harry. We all know this.

13. Can’t make up their mind when it comes to dinner.

Probably Uma, I feel like Harry is just down for whatever.

14. Needs to be reminded of all their appointments.

Harry. He has a short attention span and his mind wanders.

15. Bribes the other into doing chores.

I feel like this is kinda canonically Harry right? Like he has no chores on the Lost Revenge in Uma's book. But then again I think he's a hard worker so neither maybe.

16. Picks the movies.

They take turns picking the movie

17. Takes the safety steps when building a pillow fort.

Not the safety steps but Uma is very strategic about how she builds her fort

18. Kisses the other’s injuries better.

Harry. It makes Uma smile and he loves having the extra reason to kiss her

20. Kills the spiders.

Harry's scared of spiders so Uma takes them outside. She'll kill a person but not a spider.

21. Hogs the blankets.

UMA! Girlie needs all the blankets

22. Takes pranks too far.

They don't do pranks. Mal took a 'prank' too far and they were both traumatized from it

23. Makes the dirty jokes.

Harry makes dirty jokes at inappropriate times. He just likes to let the whore in him loose sometimes

24. Keeps a piggy bank.

Harry, it's good for him to keep track of his finances. Plus he has a cool octopus one that reminds him of Uma

25. Has no problem having ice cream for breakfast.

Yeah neither of them care what they eat for breakfast. They were robbed of all the good foods, they don't follow social standards

26. Gets a tattoo when they’re drunk.

Harry's probably done it more times but it's a close race.

[captain-kelli]

Publicity Stunt // 02

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader Summary: Plans are made for your first date, but Steve flips the script. Will it work out in your favor? Word Count: 3.8K Warnings: Language A/N: A few things: 

I no longer do tags. If you’d like to keep up with this story, follow @captain-kelli-library​​ and turn on the notifications! 

There are some images with text, as will be the case throughout the series. You can find the descriptions for them in the comments for accessibility!

Since this is apparently needed - do not share my work anywhere else. Period. 

You could ignore the gossip rags, but the tweets annoyed you. These people weren’t being paid to assault your character and upend your life.

“Who does that kind of shit for free?”

Standing in your lab coat next to the quantum computer, you tweaked the position of the microwave lines. The rest of the team already left for the day, so you had the lab to yourself - perfect conditions for venting to an inanimate object.

“If all of those women actually knew Raheem, they wouldn’t want to be within five feet of him. He lowers the IQ of any room he’s in.”

Along with a team of first-rate scientists and cutting-edge technology, you were able to make considerable upgrades to Paradox in a short amount of time. You were proud of the early progress and expectant of what was to come. Every day was a reminder of the opportunity you earned.

“So then why am I still so damn mad?”

You knew the answer to this question, of course. You were mad because Raheem soured the deal. He stole your joy and sowed seeds of doubt amongst the public and your peers. And he was a fucker for that.

Straying away from the quantum computer, you walked to the chalkboard. You had to beg Tony to install it, declining multiple offerings for holographic screens spanning the whole room. You wanted to kick it old school. The chalkboard was where you learned advanced physics from your favorite professor at MIT. It’s where you wrote the first line of the algorithm for Paradox. It’s where you wanted to continue to work.

The chalkboard appeared on the big, empty wall the next morning.

You were working out a calculus problem when you heard the door to the lab open. Ignoring the new guest, you curled your tongue over your upper lip in stern concentration as the chalk scrawled across the classically green board. The newcomer wordlessly found a seat in your desk chair, the wheels squeaking as they rolled around in it. 

Minutes passed by, though you weren’t sure how many, and your frustration with the math’s lack of cooperation grew until the piece of chalk you were holding finally snapped in your hand. A variable was missing. And it should’ve been obvious.

But you were thinking about Raheem.

“Damn it. That stupid motherfucker, piece of shit, no good…”

The whistle was low and descended. “Haven’t heard that kind of language since Germany.”

When you turned around, you saw Steve Rogers sitting at your desk, leaning back in the chair with one leg crossed comfortably over the other. If he was offended by your colorful words, he didn’t show it, so you didn’t bother apologizing. 

“Just having a hard time cracking the code,” you said as your thumb gestured back to the chalkboard. “It’s all a part of the process.”

“Yeah, sure. I have that reaction to calculus all the time.” The right side of his mouth tugged up into a grin with his gentle sarcasm and it eased your anger. 

Dusting the chalk off your hands with the help of your lab coat, you walked away from the board and closer to your desk. Closer to Steve. “How can I help you this afternoon, Captain?”

His hands pushed off his knees as he stood up. “Please, call me ‘Steve.’” He was charming, you’d give him that. “I was in Stark’s office before this, chatting with him and his publicist. It seems they’re eager to get this whole thing moving.” His hand motioned between the two of you.

“Oh, is that right? What do they have planned for our first outing?”

Steve spun around and walked to the chalkboard. “See, that’s the thing. I don’t really like their idea.” He considered the available pieces of chalk and continued, “that’s why I came to talk to you.” When he found a suitable piece, he began sketching on a blank part of the board. 

“What do you mean you didn’t like it? How bad could it possibly be? And don’t get too close to the equations.”

He kept his visual attention entirely focused on whatever it was he was drawing. “Tony wants us to go to a new restaurant opening in the East Village. The publicist, I think her name is Miranda, says a lot of big names are supposed to be there. It’d be easy press.”

It was clear he had no intention of turning around and you were tired of standing, so you grabbed your chair and wheeled it over to the board. “What’s wrong with that?”

The chalk scratched in repetitive strokes as he spoke. “It’s a little obvious, don’t you think? It’s a lot for a first date - especially after you got dragged in the press.”

An indignant eyebrow shot up. “Hey! I didn’t get dragged.” 

At that, he looked over his shoulder at you. “You did. Not your fault, but you did.” Back to the drawing. “The press is smart enough to put two and two together. And if they’re not, Twitter will. If we’re actually going to do this, it should be believable. That’s all I’m saying.”

You and your brain full of post-quantum physics spun in the chair, thoughts of Raheem dissipating by the minute. Instead, you were wondering when the old man learned the subtleties of social media. “Alright then, Steve. What do you propose we do instead?”

Steve returned the piece of chalk to the basin, dusted off his hands, and revealed his drawing. “I’m told first dates are casual in this century, so let’s get lunch. Since you’re still new to the city, I thought it’d be fun to check out the Loeb Boathouse.”

On your board, he drew Central Park’s reservoir with the boathouse restaurant in the background and it was beautiful. 

“A working lunch. Okay.”

“Schrödinger, come to the robotics lab. We need to talk,” the text read. 

Tony started Friday morning scrolling through social media, looking for evidence of your appearance at Urban Seed Kitchen. When he couldn’t find anything, he had JARVIS scour the internet for any hint of your outing with Rogers. 

Nothing.

He remembered concocting the idea with Miranda. The publicist connected with the restaurant owners and secured a table for the two of you. She made several calls to journalists she had relationships with, tipping them off that you’d be there. He slowly and articulately explained the plan to Cap.

So, what was the issue?

There should have been stunning pictures of the two of you everywhere. Unless the two of you didn’t go. Which Tony suspected.

The question was, “why the hell not?”

“Because Steve came up with a different idea. I thought he would’ve told you,” you explained when you arrived at the robotics lab 15 floors above yours. Tony realized then that you hardly knew your imitation boyfriend - this was exactly his style.

“Well - he didn’t. Care to share?” Tony popped jellybeans into his mouth while awaiting your answer.

It was an effort for him to maintain his composure as you recounted Cap’s idea. If he was being honest, Tony would have had to admit it was a good idea. A perceptive strategy. He might have even gone so far as to confess that he wished the plan was his. But he was annoyed, so that wasn’t the way it went. 

“...so we’ll be going to lunch in Central Park tomorrow afternoon,” you said as the explanation came to a finish.

Tony put the half-eaten bag of jellybeans down on his desk and picked up a screwdriver. It danced between his fingers before he clapped it against his palm all the while wishing he could put together words like he could a machine. 

“If the two of you had talked to me about all of this, I could’ve pointed out the massive flaw in your little plan.” There was an edge to his voice that he didn’t attempt to hide, his frustration growing.

“Okay, Einstein. Fair. What are we missing?” 

It wasn’t meant to be a confrontation. Your tone was light. And you were open to feedback. Without the tension of an argument, the two of you could just solve the problem. The strain in Tony’s shoulders eased and then he continued.

“If we don’t let the press know you’re going to be there, the two of you are just going to lunch. We’ve gotta loop Miranda into these decisions so she can work her magic. Luckily, a 24-hour notice should be enough.”

His phone appeared from out of his pocket and he punched out a text to the publicist. It was such an easy fix that Tony was suddenly glad he heard the news from you just so he didn’t have to fight with Rogers. It made for a nice change of pace.

You were walking out of the lab, presumably to return to your own work, when Tony stopped you. “One more thing, I got word back from legal.”

With the door handle in your grip, you spun around. “And?”

“No dice. The non-disparagement clause only covers Paradox and Stark Industries, not your personal relationship. We’re sending a cease-and-desist letter as a formality, but it’s not exactly enforceable,” he explained.

You frowned and pushed further. “Can we sue him for defamation? If for no other reason than to rack up his lawyer fees?”

“Not if you want the press to like you again. Like it or not, he looks like the victim here, so our best bet is to move on from it. Give them something else to talk about, remember? Starting with lunch tomorrow.”

Tony watched as you nodded your head in defeated agreement. “Starting with lunch tomorrow.”

The motorcycle’s engine came to a whisper as Steve parked it on your block. You had offered to just meet him at the restaurant, but he insisted on walking through the park together. Sliding off the bike, he walked the short distance to your doorstep and rang the buzzer.

“I’ll be right down,” you said over the intercom. 

Steve stood at the bottom of the stairs of the stoop, hands stuffed into the pockets of his black bomber jacket. Unsure of what to wear on a fictitious first date, he kept it simple with a white t-shirt and jeans, so he was relieved to see you kept it simple, too.

The army-green utility jacket and ripped jeans said, “casual,” he thought. Though, the black heels caught his eye. 

“It’s a twenty-minute walk to the restaurant, you sure you’re good in those shoes?” His eyebrows rose as he pointed to your feet and you looked down.

“What? Don’t like ‘em?” Twirling at the top of the steps, Steve got a full look at you and had to do his best to keep it professional. 

“They’re nice - just not the shoes I would’ve picked for a long walk.”

“We don’t have to walk, let’s hail a cab if you’re that worried about me.” You came down the stairs now, meeting his gaze with a wink.

“I have a better idea.”

Moments later, Steve was cutting through New York traffic on his Harley with your arms wrapped around his waist underneath his jacket. You had complained about the lack of helmets and threatened to kill him if you died, less than subtle ways to demonstrate your feelings on motorcycles. In a calm, if not teasing tone, he assuaged every fear. Somewhere on Amsterdam Avenue, he silently grinned as you clung to his body even tighter.

As far as missions went, this one was certainly the most fun. The least life-threatening. Still, he lost sleep the night he volunteered. He had been convinced that Raheem was a dick and you needed help, but the plan was inherently dishonest. He questioned if there was not an honorable way to garner the positive attention from the press that Tony insisted you needed. He doubted the willingness of the public to believe what he thought was such an obvious lie. It was a decision made in haste and it worried him. But he trusted Natasha and Tony. And he already liked you.

Hours after he agreed to the arrangement, he made a silent promise to himself - if he was going to do this, it was damn well going to be believable. Otherwise, there was little point in doing it at all. That’s why he walked into your lab and flipped the script.

It did not, however, account for the pleasant flutter in his chest at the feeling of your hands on his body. He elected to ignore that altogether and focused on the mission.

He nestled the bike in a small, empty spot on the corner of 74th and Central Park West. The warmth of your arms disappeared as you climbed off the back and he quickly followed. It was only a matter of minutes before you were in the park and deep in conversation.

“You actually met the codebreakers at Bletchley Park? I don’t believe it.” 

It wasn’t often that Steve shared stories from the war - it felt like an entirely different life and version of himself - but when you were explaining how that moment in history impacted your decision to found Paradox, he saw an opening. 

“Scout’s honor. The invitation came after B.P. intelligence helped us take out three HYDRA bases that weren’t even on our radar. Monty was over the moon when the call came.”

The two of you walked side-by-side, passing the Bethesda Fountain, and you continued to interrogate Steve.

“Did you get to go into any of the huts? Did you see any of the ciphers, the bombes? Did you get to meet Alan Turing?”

Steve smiled wide at your enthusiasm, enjoying the way your eyes danced between each and every thought. He pushed that sensation down and answered your questions.

“No, nothing like that. Even though we signed the Official Secrets Act long before the visit, they kept every secret compartmentalized well. We did get a tour of the grounds and lunch in the mansion though. And Dum Dum Dugan disappeared with one of the girls from Hut 8. I remember that.” The memory made Steve laugh and miss his old friend.

The Loeb Boathouse came into view along with a spray of daffodils and cherry blossoms. Spring in New York had become Steve’s favorite after he came out of the ice. Like him, the city escaped from winter’s chill and sprung back to life. The kaleidoscope of colors renewed his hope in his newfound existence and eased the loss of a former life unlived.

To Steve’s delight, it was warm enough to sit on the restaurant’s patio overlooking the lake. You thanked the hostess after she shared the specials for the afternoon along with a recommendation of her favorite plate and then settled into your seat. Steve screened what he could see of the restaurant and park from where he was sitting.

“You said Tony made the arrangements for the photographers?” His voice was low as if he was on a covert mission somewhere in Eastern Europe. This was, after all, a job. Or so he kept telling himself.

You, he realized, seemed unfazed. Ignoring his question, you continued to study the menu, only looking up to ask, “do you think the panccheri pasta is too heavy for lunch?”

Instead of meeting his eye, you were looking past him at the dock full of rowboats and gondolas. Among them, Steve saw a man with a camera and understood your silent message.

 “After that walk? No, I think the pasta is perfect.”

The rest of lunch was a show. In between over-the-top smiles and brief touchings of hands, Steve shared a few more stories from the second world war in exchange for the history of Raheem. 

“It wasn’t some big love story. I could probably count on a single hand the number of times we ever muttered the words, ‘I love you.’ It was mostly business, although I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time. Our relationship served a purpose.”

Steve listened intently, recognizing the same could be said about your own pseudo-relationship together. He was lost in that realization when you asked, “what about you? I’m assuming you’re single now, otherwise, this arrangement would be problematic. But what about before? Have you ever been in love?”

Looking back over to the rowboats, Steve noticed the photographer had left and allowed his face to fall a bit. “Not in this lifetime.”

Thoughts of Peggy drifted lazily into his mind and a fondness bloomed within him.

“What happened to her?”

When he looked back to you, your elbows were on the table and your face was in the palms of your hands. You were leaning in. It wasn’t the best topic for a first date he could admit, even a fake one. But for once, the vulnerability didn’t unsettle him.

“Exactly what I would’ve hoped. She lived a beautiful, meaningful life and found love again.” Steve’s eyes went back to the lake as did yours and it was quiet for a time.

Eventually, the sound of your voice broke the spell of the exes. “Well, how do you think we did on our first mission, Captain? Objective complete?”

His face warmed when he looked back to you. “I suppose we’ll find out tomorrow, but I think it was a solid effort by the team,” he said, trying to sound serious while furrowing his brow.

The lighthearted tone of conversation returned on the walk through the park and back to the bike. And when your arms wrapped around Steve’s waist for a second time, he allowed himself the briefest of seconds to enjoy it.

You woke up on Sunday morning in a daze. 

Buried deep in a sea of pillows and a comforter, you soaked in the events of yesterday. Steve Rogers, as it turned out, was every bit as wonderful as the world suspected. New York felt more like home than it had since you moved here. And, for the first time since Boston, you felt in control of your future again.

If you still held any skepticism for the plan after yesterday, it disappeared entirely the moment you picked up your phone. 

Over 400 Twitter notifications. 15 missed phone calls. 192 unread emails. Scrambling to open a browser, you quickly searched for your name and, sure enough, half the internet was talking about your date with Steve. After perusing four or five articles, you felt it safe to say that the reception was positive and you breathed a sigh of relief.

It’s working. 

Closing the browser, you noticed more than a few notifications in your texts. The first one you opened was from Steve. “Objective officially complete. Well done.” You laughed at the winking emoji he used, continuously impressed with his determination to assimilate to this century. You shot back a response, “thankful for the strategic direction of army command.”

The second text you read was from Tony. “If you ever tell him this, you’re fired, but Steve was right. The pictures really sell it.” Though you promised to keep your lips sealed, you planned to tell Steve the moment you saw him next.

There were a few other texts from friends, shrieking that you didn’t tell them you had a date planned with Captain America. In an effort to keep up the charade, you indulged them with details of the lunch, acting as if it were real.

The last unread text was from Raheem. An aggravated sigh fought its way out of your throat as you finally opened it. “Can we talk?”

The two of you hadn’t spoken in months. The master tactician walked away from the acquisition a multi-millionaire and a media darling. You heard it through the grapevine that he landed a job as Chief Operating Officer at one of the leading hedge funds in Manhattan, a position that he undoubtedly bought and would use to line his pockets. He had a rotating roster of models that clung to his arm every weekend, or so it appeared on social media.

Can we talk?

What the fuck did the two of you have to talk about anymore? He got what he wanted from you - fame and fortune. There was nothing left to discuss.

“No. Delete my number.”

The phone pinged not a second later. “If you really didn’t want to talk, you wouldn’t have even responded. Come on, let’s work this out.”

He had a point, so you opened his contact profile and blocked his number.

Rolling out of bed, you decided to head to work. Yeah, it was the weekend and you didn’t have to, but you felt inspired by your afternoon with Steve. There was an incomplete equation left on your chalkboard and you had a good idea of how to solve it. The missing variable wasn’t such a mystery anymore.

On the way to the tower, you snagged a copy of the New York Bulletin and laughed when you found yourself on the front page. Life had flipped upside down in a matter of months, but it wasn’t all bad.

In the lab next to your unfinished equation was his chalk drawing. You always liked a clean board so you grabbed the eraser, but paused as it hovered over the sketch. When the idea occurred to you, you dropped the eraser in the basin and grabbed a pair of scissors.

The blades made quick work out of the article. Taking a magnet from your desk, you rushed to the board to hang the clipping that told the story of your first date alongside Steve’s drawing. 

Then and only then were you able to finish the equation, no longer distracted with thoughts of Raheem.