#like every single time i would ask it it didnt go through my 4 year olf selfs skull

[maukiki1]

hiiii can u draw Jack… he’s very cunty I love hum

Jack realness

[crushedsweets]

Any Jeff hcs?? (Your art is absolutely amazing)

i make him evil. ok jk but also im serious. im mostly just gonna cover his backstory in my au, rather than his current part in it.

cw for brief mentions of animal abuse, bullying, the usual. AGAIN THIS IS FOR MY AU !! also tysm :3..

liu is about 4-6 years older than jeff. they lived somewhere in the midwest until jeff was about 10.

they were both raised by incredibly good parents and had a very strong support system, always visiting their grandparents, big christmas every year, parents always go to open house/parent-teacher conferences, etc. tried getting their kids into sports, would go to every game, literally just the stereotypical great parent. not even a secret "ooo behind closed doors they r actually abusive...!" thing theyre literally just good.

jeff was always a bit more on the aggressive side, something they especially noticed when he was 5 and could not be left alone with a single fucking pet. he'd yank at and shake anything small enough to pick up, and punch and kick anything too big to pick up. every family pet was scared of him.

even at school, he was a bully - it started as typical grade school shit, putting gum in girls hairs, stealing peoples belongings, pushing kids off the play structures. he targeted girls especially. he's been warned, suspended, expelled - but his dad got a job offer in the east coast that they couldnt really ignore

he was 12 when he started harassing a girl, following her around the playground, calling her a slut, yanking her hair, spitting on her, etc - and eventually, her brother and his friends stepped in.

thiiis is where i wanted to put randy and his friends in. theyre older kids, around 14 and still more on the mean side, but they didn't just randomly target jeff for fun bc he's "the new kid". just like jeff harassed that girl, they began harassing him - but of course with the strength of 3 teenage boys, rather than an 12 yr old. liu would interfere when he could, but he was still a student and began working his first job by this point.

jeff got into physical fights with them for weeks, but he was quick to turn it into something bloody and brought a pocket knife. this time the fight occurred in front of jeffs house, when his parents were at work, and liu ended up running out to make them cut it out. he tried to grab the knife out of jeffs hands, he tried to stop his brother, but jeff was serious about what he wanted - and he wanted to fucking stab randy

so he did, right in the stomach. it was nothing fatal.

liu took the fall, being 16 and terrified of what could happen to jeff if he landed himself in juvenile hall - the other 3 boys were content with this, knowing it meant jeff really didn't have anyone to defend him by this point. thinking it would fuck with jeff even more . . BUT JEFFS A LITTLE SHIT he doesnt fucking careee . something about "i never asked him to take the blame that shits on him" or whatnot.

but obv once randy recovered fully it got worse. it went from schoolyard level harassment to borderline stalking, robbing him, holding him down so randy could fucking stomp on him, so on and so forth.

and eventually the bleach happened, and the fire happened, and it didn't really have anything special or involve a birthday party or whatever . it was just another insane fucking attack on jeff, although randy and them didn't exactly expect the fire to spread so fucking quickly - they just splashed some gas at his feet, threw a match, though it would scare him and maybe fuck up his pants. really did NOT think that shit through

jeff recovered in the hospital, and the trio decided to leave him alone. they were little shits who took it too far, but they werent trying to do all that. jeff didnt snitch, he didnt want them to get put away . he wanted to keep going, obviously

things settled down for a while. jeff was waiting and waiting and waiting. his parents were mortified, they rarely spoke to him now. required family dinners at the dining table turned to just his parents eating together, liu in juvie and jeff in his room. jeff began getting violent towards his parents as well, especially his mom - he started spiraling after the fire, especially since the trio weren't bothering him anymore and it was driving him nuts. he would do freaky shit, showing up at their houses now, shattering their windows, killing their pets. they'd come and beat his ass, and he'd do it again. nobody wanted to get their parents involved by this point, they all did too much shit - but jeff was getting UNBEARABLE

jeff eventually was around 15 or so, liu was out of juvie and 19 and in community college bc he couldnt get into any of the universities he was dreaming about.

liu wasnt nice to jeff anymore. he wasn't "hardened" by his experience in juvie or anything, but whatever he saw in jeff was NOT his little brother anymore - if jeff spoke to him, he'd ignore him. if jeff got too close, he'd shove him off. if jeff slapped their mother, liu would punch him.

liu thinks it was bound to happen. he misses his little brother, even when he was a mean little kid - but he always knew there was something realy, really fucking wrong with jeff, and when he woke up to jeff on top of him, stabbing into him , he knew it was inevitable.

liu survived, the only one in his family to do so. he wondered what he could've done to stop it, especially as other kids began showing up in the news. he wonders if he shouldve just let jeff go to juvie. he's kinda shocked at the fucked up ass police sketches that pop up, he didn't really remember seeing that damn smile when jeff was on him

jeff continues fucking shit up and is a piece of shit all around

this is already pretty long so if anyone wants a less "backstory" version of headcanons and more current stuff just lmk ;3

[candy8448]

GCSE ADVISE FOR CLASS OF 2025/current year 10s

This is a copy and paste from a group chat i have with some yr 10 friends so if there are teacher names from my school, ignore them

Website, resources and youtube channel names will be highlighted in orange

More subject specific advise on my GCSE rambles masterlist

------

1. you should seriously start revising from now

At the start of the year i didnt care about revision so i didnt do anything till our first mocks rolled around and then tried to cram an entire year and few months of content for every subject in 2 weeks and i didnt get it in time. And during the easter holidays i spent so much time revising to catch up before gcses that i fell into a depressive episode so start revising slowly from now and over the summer holiday to save your emotions later

2. Rest is gonna be more important than revision at times

Especially towards the lead up to your real gcses if you need a break, savrifice revision for having a break or sleep it will do you better, but make sure you have/will do enough revision in time

3. Your first mocks will be this year's gcse papers but don't cheat and look up the questions, especially for english because that will do you no good because the mocks are meant to help you practice analysis on the spot in total exam conditions

4. Do practice papers, especially for science and maths this will help you the most. Do it in english as well if you are not so good at analysis or essay writing. If ur bad at essay writingf, practice writing and give it to the teachers, if youre bad at on the spot analysis, then juust bring up a bunch of practice quuestions and just play your essay. Dont write the essay, just keep planning a bunch so you develop that skill better

5. Gcses really aren't too bad. Sure they are a bit stressful when you are doing the exams that you need for a levels, but they are still not as bad as people might say. Also dont let your mocks make you worry. My mocks were a TON harder than the real thing. Dunno if that is cuuz i got better or what but dont fret about what you got in your mocks and just use it to know what to revise next

6. I dont know what order hiistory is going to be taught in, but ask mr millen or mr crozier what unit you are going to study last and during your breaks, try to study that unit yourself. We didnt have time to cover elizabeth and only covered one enquiry of content out of three so i had to spend the entire weekend teaching myself the unit from scratch so maybe try studying that unit yourself throughout the year so you dont run out of time and have to cram a ton of new content in 2 days

@Cognito is a great channel for science revision. Ive used the "entire [bio/chem/phys] paper [1/2] in 30 mins" videos so much for revision. Its efficient and labels triple and combined topics so you know which bits to ignore and such. They also have other exam boards and not just aqa

@freesciencelessons ive heard is really good but ii hardly used it, but its good for going into detail for certain topics

Also for science, make revision cards during or closely after your science lesson to save yourself time. Makig the revision cards took so much time and took away time fron actually revising from them so if you make them during school hours then you have time to revise from them.

Also getting a bunch of questions or opening a textbook and makig questions up about it to ask your friends helps both of you revise really well, especially as last minute reviisiion.

Questions like "what iis the name of the instrumental method for the flame test" (that is paper 2 so you wouldnt have pearned iit yet but questions like that)

Litcharts is the best for english revision, it has detailed notes for every single english text you would have ever done and the poems. Its also layed out in a really good way, especially best on desktop.

You dont need to pay the subscription because the things it gives for free are more than enough. I mainly used this website for the poems

@Mr salles has good videos for english. I used this channel a lot because he gives very nuanced ideas that work so well as well as advise that helps a lot with general essay writing and such.

Ive also heard tgat @everythingenglish and @mrbruff are super good. Ive used mrbruff for last minute poetry revision the day before our lit paper 2 because he has really good analysis of each poem in five minutes which i used for all the poems i was not confident in at all

Also for english, learn how the mark scheme works. If you know exactly what the examiners want, that is basically half of your marks.

One key advise i try to remember is to analyse the form and structure of the text or poems. That will get you many more marks and very quickly push you to the top bands withiut being too dificult. Just talk about the way the paragraohs are done, or ciclical structure

MME, This website is very good for maths revision. I despise maths and do worst in maths so this helped me learn entire topics in a few minutes when i couldnt in a few weeks of lessons.

What i did was go through all of my old books since yr 8 or yr 9 and just write down a list of every topic i wasnt 100% confident in. And then went through one by one and learned them again, and made revision cards on them

Also for revisioncards to save time, i litterally just tore out some bits from my maths book tgat had the information layed out well.

Also dont fret if there are one or two topics you just cannot understand. If you cannot do completing the square for the life of you, then just screw it, at most it will be 5 marks on one of the papers. Dont do this for too many subjects but if tgere are one or two you just cannot do, thhen ignore it.

Also if you are aiming for a grade 6, all you need to do is get 100% on the first 13 questions on each of the 3 papers. That will get you ceazy close to grade 6, and then complete the rest of the paper and you've probably gotten it

I HATE CGP's books, they judt never work for me cuz i hate how they are layed out buut for hostory it is tge one textbook that actually worrks from them. Ive found this text book so helpful, more than youtube videos. Mr millen gave all of our yeargroup one of these for free but i dont know if he will for your year. Ask him, but dont buy it if you find out he is just gonna give you one

I think that's about it. I dont have anything for frnech because i honestly just winged it and did no revision, but you should probably practice it for good measure

There is a perfect amount of stress where you will work the best. Too little stress and you wont do as well, too much stress and you wont work as well. First mocks i was fretting, but second mocks i went into each exam calmly and did much better, and same with the real thing.

I did slack off on the last history exam and physics exam because those were my last two exams, but i wish i did work a bit more on those instead of just give up

You will never feel more comradery with the entire country of year 11s than you will when you finally sit those real exams

Good luck next year!

[mercurialmilk]

Grief is an emotion I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy.

I gotta get this out for the sake of my soul. It's a really long read.

back in June of 2020, my sister and I found a cat while out for a walk. She was really friendly but looked in really bad shape. She had horrible matted fur all down her back, she was so thin you could feel her entire spine, scratches and old injuries. But she was so curious and bright eyed!

We thought she might be a lost cat so we took her in, sent info to shelters and our block watch captain (oh, the suburbs) and took her to the vet.

They shaved her from the neck down because they couldnt do an exam the mats were so bad.

She was suffering from malnutrition, had several broken bones that healed wrong, beginnings of kidney problems, was partially deaf and had several superficial scratches and bad teeth.

A few days later we found her owners. They said their kids gave them 2 kittens years ago and they just live outdoors mostly. I was really shocked, at that time we lived in the suburbs next to a ravine filled with wildlife. Coyotes were seen almost every night.

They said that her brother died a little while ago from a coyote.

I was completely furious but tried to keep cool. I asked if they would be open to us keeping her? They asked why on earth we wanted a 19 year old cat (19 years old!!)

They warned me she had behavioural problems and peed all over their house and the woman (it was a couple) said that she "hated petting her because she was so boney"

Yikes.

We agreed that I could keep her as long as they didnt have to pay the vet bills.

(turns out the man of the couple was a bit more attached to the cats or maybe he felt guilty because a few weeks later he showed up with an envelope with half the cost of vet bills for me)

This cat was supposed to be my sisters. I've never been much of a cat person because growing up our mother would foster cats and the minute you got attached to one it was gone to a new home.

Unfortunately, due to some circumstances, my sister had to go to the hospital for a long time and I became the caretaker for this little girl.

First, I didnt want to let her into my bedroom. Then she wasnt allowed in my actual bed. Then she wasnt allowed to spend the night. All of these rules didnt last long at all.

We found the perfect equilibrium. She loved to sleep on my lap (she's incredibly small and perpetually cold) during the day (I work from home) and at night she would snuggle into the crook of my left arm (always the left) and snore peacefully into my ear.

I moved a few months after getting her. In the summer, she goes out to the patio and sleeps on the warm stones. She has a little harness and a really long leash so that she doesnt wander far. My desk is right by the door so I can sit and watch her. And untangle her when she gets wrapped around the patio furniture.

She never had a single "behavioural problem" like the couple said. She always went to the litterbox perfectly, even on long car trips when visiting my parents.

She doesnt like other cats (I think she is anxious about being bullied) but she likes dogs.

She is now completely deaf, which is great because I dont disturb her sleep with vacuuming or my work.

I completely fell in love. And honestly, she saved my life. She became my perfect companion. I put her on a raw meat diet, her fur grew back beautifully and she feels and looks a lot better!

Thing is, being 19 when I got her, I knew what that meant. I knew the end would come a lot sooner than I'd like so I truly treasure every single moment with her.

Yesterday I got the results of her blood and urine tests. Her kidneys are officially in stage 3 out of 4, meaning that the end is coming.

It could be a few weeks or months but there's no stopping this.

I've never lost a person before but my dog passed away after a prolonged illness in 2018 and it was easily the hardest thing that I've ever been through.

My only regret with my dog was that I was so desperate to keep her alive that I held on too tightly. It's never an easy decision because you dont know if it's the right time.

This time my only goal will be to give her the best possible end. Once she shows me that she's ready to go, I will listen. I already know I'm going to do it at home. I have researched the company that does it.

It probably wont happen for a while. She's still happy, eating ok, sleeping a lot but that's because she's a lil grandma. Right now, her diet is well in line with kidney heath.

I'm still waiting on test results to give me a better picture of how far into stage 3 she is. But the writing is on the wall and I'm full into grief.

Is it better or worse to know it's going to happen soon? Does it matter?

I passed all the stages of grief a long time ago (if you believe in that). I've been at 'acceptance' for a while now. But it really doesnt make it any easier.

I feel so weak and so powerless. I know this will pass and I will survive. I've survived before. I just needed to get this out.

Here's Kida. Although I never call her by her name. She's either Little Girl, Baby or Beloved.

When we first found her:

Vs today:

[the-rxven-king]

Still thinking about Amadeus all these years later 💕

Got any OCs you're currently obsessed with atm? The council of I Heart Amadeus would like to know, oh great one of many fabulous OCs~

THE WAY YOURE STILL HERE AND THINKING ABOUT HIM ALMOST MADE ME C RY LIKE

idk who you are and idk if i ever will but know that i think about you sometimes cause it makes my heart so happy that someone loves one of my characters so much even tho i get scared to talk about them more often cause i dont wanna be obnoxious, you are always amadeus anon in my heart and i love you pls come into my inbox whenever you want to ask about whatever i will try to answer quickly sometimes it just takes a while for my brain to feel ready but i will Always try to answer questions about my ocs

i will ramble about some of my characters under a cut i dont wanna flood anyones dash with my bullshit if they dont want it!!! anyone playing in a campaign with me..... proceed with caution if you read!!! even tho i am coming back to this after deciding i needed to be done and. i didnt say too much spoilery shit. i didnt even talk backstory much. its fine.

as for ocs im obsessed with i am Entirely Not Normal about my character nowell, i wasnt fully normal about him when i first made him, but at the time i was only really talking to my ex and all the parts of nowell that really made him Nowell to me were things he didnt want to discuss so i didnt get to explore him to his full capacity. i dont blame him since nowell is one of the darkest characters??? ive ever made???? in terms of the things hes gone through? i affectionately call him a walking trigger warning. but it still made me sad sometimes

now tho? when i was able to put him into a modern horror dnd campaign and i played him a bit before our current hiatus? where ive gotten to fully explore him and every single facet of him, good and bad? it really unleashed him fully in my brain and it kinda makes me really emotional. i fully developed his backstory out more than i felt i could before (because what did it matter before if i could never utilize it? had to dull him down to be easier to deal with and honestly i think thats had an effect on his character now too) and ive learned more about him, hes grown into himself and he truly is out here changing my brain chemistry. i love him so, so, so much and i have drawn him more than any other oc i have im pretty sure. hes my most drawn son and i really wish i was braver about posting oc art on my blog now a days like i used to be in the past because i love my art of him. im pretty proud of it and the way hes made me want to create again. i just wish i could do him more justice yknow??? g uh hes everything to me im holding him so so gently in my arms

and also my boy veth???? g o d i love him sm especially since i!!! recently got to confirm/drop a big lore reveal about him in my campaign thats been going for like 2 years at this point!!! my party finally knows hes the only survivor of the royal family of kuzania and thus the rightful heir to the throne and not the BBEG whose currently ruling! i feel So Free now that i can mention his princely-ness truly i do. hes just. so sweet and so lovely and hes everything i love in a character cause truly i just accidentally made My Type in a man and now its just veth. the only way he could be even more my type is if he was a tiefling instead of an elf but he makes up for that by being like. 1/4 platinum shadow dragon. and one day thats gonna pop out with him i know it to be so. i want him to be able to have a bit of a draconic-ish form because of how STRONG that 1/4 dragon blood is. im gonna work on it eventually, but im v happy with him hes so pretty and i adore him

he also recently canonically got with a PC in the campaign (hes a main story npc!!!) and im So Not Normal About Them theyre driving me up a wall and i literally cried over them earlier this week because my friend came at me with a fuckin baseball bat of an answer to a vague scenario/question i told them about cause im batshit and think about character scenarios every day of my life.

im also leaving my setting for that campaign open for friends who arent playing in it to make characters and throw em in and one of my friends made an au of a character she already had that im Deeply And Completely Obsessed With named creed to put him into this world specifically to date veth cause theyre obsessed with veth like i am their chara and we had joked like "aha what if we just picked them up like barbies and made them kiss just to see if it worked out" and now they are literally The Couple Ever. like there have never been 2 men who were more perfect for each other in this entire world and the way they have a fuckin grip on me. i have also cried over them several times. veth is a poly king and by GOD is he winning rn. we have made this au version of creed canon in stadalon so veth is gonna have TWO boyfriends!!!! perhaps 2 husbands! perhaps 3!!!! cause another friend has an oc to kiss him with!!! we shall see!!!!

guuuuh and also my vampire spawn shadow genasi/tiefling requiem??? recently hes been So Loud in my head. i specifically made him to romance a character my friend made (same one who made creed) named harbinger cause i saw him and immediately fell head over heels and begged her to let me kiss him and other friends in the call at the time he was shown immediately jumped on the bandwagon wanting to make characters in relation to him (2 of them made siblings for him, theyre triplets! and the other just decided to make the most normal man ever (a fuckin lie. theyre Not Fucking Normal) because of the triplets happening and me being like imma out-goth this goth tiefling and out came requiem) and the last friend in call decided hell why not make a whole campaign out of these losers just for this One Blue Tiefling Our Friend Made That We All Love.

in campaign shit is Constantly Happening but me and them were talking and she told me that harbinger is finally starting to get to a point hes falling for him and requiems already been there cause hes disney prince ass level falls hard and fast. im cheering and screaming and kicking and crying i love them so much we keep talking future scenarios for them and im so deeply in love with how soft and gentle and adoring theyre going to be with one another one day and i would die for them both.

plus i just. Love requiem sm hes such a big soft sad bastard and the fact that he loves and cares so fuckin deeply and hes so kind? so open? so genuine? was not in the plans when i first sat down to play him he was supposed to be more moody and a bit more intense than he is now. he held my face before i even opened my mouth to play him and said no. i am kind. i am patient and understanding and i was born to love and to take care of people. i have also cried over him. i love him so so much and im just guuuUUUH yknow what i mean.

anyway. ill leave it at those 3!!! or i will never shut up!!! i have more ive been thinking about a lot recently but i will leave it at my 3 most precious blorbos if you made it this far i adore you pls take all my love

[emoooooo]

Dearest Nothing and Everything!

Today I feel absolutely in nothing, it has no bounds, no ends, no limits and absolutely no guilt. My heart is aching.

I would say that you are what teaches me so much sometimes. And sometimes I wonder if it even was the right age to be learning all of that. I mean, kinda too early to have such a big chunk of my heart taken out and roam around the world with a hole in my heart isn't it? But not like you care, or ever did. I am beginning to recollect and count the moments in my head when you actually did give a shit. Probably never. It was just you being chivalrous. Maybe I mistook every single thing from you in the past 4 years of my life. Maybe I was living a lie every single day and making myself believe it, with all my might. And hell, did I believe it or what?

You know the thing is, if you have loved someone less, or cared less, or not waited for their texts 24 hours on a regular day in your life, it becomes easier, to forget, to let it go. But if someone is the only serotonin you ever have, for the past four years. And every morning, you wake up expecting to see a certain blip on your phone with a specific name and a moon emoji next to it, things become difficult when you don't. Things become slightly ugh-ish when they sleep and you didn't get to tell them “yk i made pizza today” or “you know i met a person and we talked about love, and in the pink of my cheeks when i blushed, they read your name”. Or “i saw a cute little spot to sit outside, it had fairylights and that yellow reminded me of you” or “the taxi we ordered today had the last alphabets as a combination of your and mine initials”.

Anywayy.. it is kinda obsessive thinking about someone in that manner, isn’t it? But, i believe men initiate the stage of communication. They know form you in the starting that heyy, i cannot spend a minute away from you. They send you stuff, or bring up stuff, or surf through their photos, to show you the randomest things so that the conversation doesn’t die. And when you get hooked to the feeling of him being around, suddenly it is too big of a task for them to keep you in the loop.

I think men could do anything that they aren’t asked to do. But i also didn’t ask for you to send me letters, or reply to my instagram story, or text me every single day at 4 pm in the Covid days. I also didnt ask you to mess up everything by flirting with me daily, or writing our initials on any surface you found. Or writing imy notes for me to keep in your wallet the first day you went to work. Or telling me about family heirlooms your mom kept for your bride to be.

This was my biggest nightmare you know, being so dumb, letting someone conquer my mind and heart and soul so much that i dont know what id be if they arent around, and then them leaving me. To fight all this on my own. Proving me wrong. Mocking my decisions of practicality with a loud laugh.

You were an exception to everything I deemed of everyone, and I seriously honestly wasn’t ready for a life lesson at this point in my life. Sometimes, a part of me desires to run back to you. Running with all my possible might. But I often find something in me questioning “to what do you wanna run back to?” as of there actually is something or someone who could be waiting for me. As if you've left a door open, in fact, you have left all doors open but made me so miserable that I couldn't even get up and reach the door behind you. I keep wishing you come back, even if to close those doors for a last time. I wish you would just look back even for once. And to be honest I didn't plan a single thing I would do once you are there. I don't know what will I say to you. All my words have escaped me. But all I know is that I do not wish for a thing more than I do of this.

Maybe we can never go back to what we were. Maybe I can never move back to find the man who wrote moon mails for me. All I know, however, is that if this was not the man I would want to spend my whole eternity with. There couldn't be another. I cannot change homes so soon, maybe I am not as strong as you. Maybe it was you I was a rest house and you could move to another packing all your bags so easily. I couldn't. I have all the things lying in the room of my heart. That yellow-colored room with a fingerprint heart canvas framed at its entrance, with letters lying around and scented candles smelling of coffee and rain and pinecones. I still have a yellow file in my most precious locker, which has a tiny hair strand on it, that I never dared remove. A leaf in a book, and a bit of you in all of this. I miss you. Ugh, why is it such a hard thing to say? Why do my bones feel weaker and my blood cooler as I admit to myself that I in fact miss you? In a way that in Turkish it would sound something like seni özledim.

I wish to meet you again, somewhere in life, and look at your eyes once. And look into them, look into your soul. To see if my heart was right, giving favor to you despite all. It is adamant that you could never be wrong. And I know I am right about souls. I am sure of it. The time, the thought, reasoning, and life, could've been different but I know it wasn't you. Even if it was, I know there would've been a split-second or perhaps more than that where you felt something as well.

The most terrible thing is.. You didn't try. I loved a man, with my blood, soul, the spur of my bones and all my motor nerve signals.. and he didn’t try for me. Even for a split second. I am so pathetically on love with you that it would’ve probably taken me just you calling out my name for me to move back in to your world. But the thing is bee, everything could probably still be fine.. maybe or maybe not. But i cannot take the pain of you not trying for this out of my heart. It is a stab wound, and the knife is still in your hands.. it would keep hurting and hurting until it is taken out. And i know you wouldn’t try. And i know it wouldn’t be fixed.

All i think about is, what did I really do to deserve this. I get it you’re troubled and tired but i dont know what was my fault in all this. I didn’t sign up for these headaches snd sleepless nights and breakdowns. Why do I have to be in severe pain just because you are.. why can’t you let someone heal it.. or at least bandage it for a bit.

That is the thing with writers, you probably think I cannot let go of you.. true.. although all my life, i also believed that writers heal people. It is just one magical word of tassali, or something curated so beautifully that could heal all that is wrong. And i believed I could do that, especially for the man i loved. And it just doesn’t sit right with me that all my love and empathy and gentle warm heart isn’t enough to make him believe in life again.. that i am not the sole source of hope in his life.

That i couldn’t be the ray of sunshine he said i was..

Ever hurting,

Emaan.

18th Aug, 2024

[youremyboy]

a few people tagged me in this (like last week sorry rip im slow at these) but!! here it isssss!! @shatlass @gingerandcelery @whatthefuckisasweep thank you for the tags :D

3 ships: jamir obvi. and hardshine forever and ever they are everything to me. and uh. i wasn’t gonna do two naddpod ones but i really wanna say duck team polycule. OH or the miraculous lovesquare <3<3 i basically exclusively only like ships where if someone asks “do you ship x?” i have to respond with “uh. it’s complicated”

first ship: i honestly really dont know i don’t remember. probably some disney channel bullshit. i remember on tumblr before i was anything else i was an ace attorney blog so maybe wrightworth but i was like 13 which just feels like there must have been something earlier. OH WAIT ACTUALLY i was super super hype on house of anubis at like age 10 and i shipped amber and alfie. and also nina and fabian kinda but they were also kinda boring to me lmao. still feels like there’s probably something earlier but thats truly all ive got i think

last song: i saw a poll about animatic songs that had youre gonna go far kid on it and i was like oh man, i havent heard that song in forever, i fuckin love that song. so ive had that on repeat now for like two days lol

last movie: i got a dvd copy of die hard 4 from a charity shop for 75p and i watched that. I LOVE YOU DIE HARD 4💖💖💖💖

currently reading: im rereading ari and dante bcs of the movie lmao. its still good but also i read it when i was 17 and absolutely going through the worst period of my life and it changed my brain chemistry forever so it mostly just makes me think about being 17

currently watching: already started my fantasy high rewatch in preparation for junior year agshdjdjfjsjs. but also ive been working my way through ted lasso and have enjoyed it well enough. ALSO also im super obsessed with play it by ear right now show of all time EVER easily the best show on dropout right now and im including d20 in that. fight me about it. play it by ear season 2 has gotta be my favourite season of any show of all time it starts to strong and every single episode just gets better and better. this is my play it by ear pitch if you have dropout and you haven’t watched it WATCH IT IMMEDIATELY ITS SO FUCKING GOOD

currently consuming: i think this is supposed to be about food but because it didnt fit anywhere else im gonna say that im listening to the new naddpod episode rn. i love dungeon court :D its so good and so funny. but also im drinking a pepsi. yummy delicous pepsi max the beverage of ever. <3

currently craving: omg a pumpkin spice chai tea latte. it’s getting chilly now and my reservations about being basic go entirely out the window during pumpkin spice season. ive not had one yet this year i dont even know that theyre out yet it just feels right

tag 9 people: ill be honest i think all the people i would tag have either already done this or already been tagged lmao. if you see this consider yourself tagged?? unless you dont want to be. in which case dont. <3

9 people you would like to get to know better

tysm for the tag @alexmey-does-an-arts!

1. 3 ships; bowuigi, metadede, heavy/medic(I forget the name lol)

2. first ever ship; alphyne

3. last song; Ghost Cowboys by Louie Zong

4. last movie; Midsommar. That was…something

5. currently reading; Dante and Aristotle discover the secrets of the universe. Pretty fire

6. currently watching; JCS criminal psychology

7. currently consuming; nothing

8. currently craving; Iced Cream. About to go get it. I know there’s mind chip in my freezer (:

9 people to tag; @littlegreenwyvy, @garf-official, @d1nosaurpower, @tractor-inside-joke-fucker, @junkydoodlez, @seacrown, @neldu-nak, @darkcanid19, @stormyykat

[slaygentford]

I listened to every Beatles album in order so you dont have to and kept this record as I did. no one asked me to do this and honestly idk how I arrived at it it just sounded interesting after I exhausted the platters who I didnt think to record like this. also im at the point of school where you dont get homework anymore and I miss it so I made a report.

these are graded on a curve, that is, the ratings of each album are calculated in relation to the other albums. prior to this endeavor I had only heard the big beatles songs like in movies and on Wii rockband.

please please me: 3/5. highlight: twist and shout (sorry). lowlight: baby its you. thready ass vocals. leave it to people with talent with the beatles: 3/5. aesthetically identical to prev. highlight: you really got a hold on me. lowlight: please mr postman. why the fuck would you cover this. youre signing up to fail a hard day's night: 2/5. highlight: things we said today. lowlight: sadly, a hard day's night beatles for sale: im gonna keep it real. this sounds identical to albums 1-3 to me and I feel exactly no emotion about it at all. largely inoffensive. 2/5 help!: 3.3/5. highlight: help! killer bass. lowlight: the riff in I need you fills me with a burning, indescribable rage rubber soul: here we begin to experience the epic highs and lows of The Beatles discography. high highs: Norwegian wood and girl. low lows: literally everything else. 2/5 revolver: 3.5/5. these bitches finally woke up! highlight: I'm only sleeping, for no one, Eleanor Rigby is worth the hype, I want to tell you, tomorrow never knows. lowlight: dr robert -- flop attempt at satire. also whatever that one guy was doing to that poor sitar sgt pepper's: I came to a rude awakening when I realized that the wall would not exist without sgt pepper's. humbling. that being said, 0/5. I hated every single second of this. magical mystery tour: epic high following last album's epic low. 5/5. strawberry fields has a BASS DROP??!?!? no skips. I love this album. its such a time capsule as well of like one of the weirdest years in history. i can listen to this album and experience how my parents felt at 16. the callback to she loves you on the last track. I get it the white album: I dont get it. this album tested me like nothing else. I began to flag. I began to question the honor of my quest. I almost shut it off after nearly every song. but let me say: the highs are sweeping. SWEEPING. happiness is a warm gun. blackbird, Helter Skelter, while my guitar gently weeps, back in the ussr, revolution (which is satire which I just realized)... however, the lows are LOW. glass onion is bad; Julia is actually unlistenable (I broke and skipped it); wild honey pie is like getting a transorbital lobotomy; birthday has undone years of my therapist's work vis a vis suicidal ideation. Im so baffled by this I almost want to exclude it entirely. instead I calculated its good song to bad song ratio which landed the album as a whole at a solid D+ (69%)! but that seems like its ignoring the good songs which for any other band even ONE of those would be the song of their career. emotionally the experience was not unlike a bipolar mixed episode. 1/5 yellow submarine: this one was a movie soundtrack. something it has going for it is that it isn't the white album. 4/5 abbey road: yeah. 10/5. I cant even be flippant about this. you live a whole lifetime listening to this one. fine. let it be: set myself up to FAIL with this one. my dad was about to turn 18 the year this came out, which I only bring up because this is the only one of my dads beatles albums I kept. so of course I listened to the record and cried through let it be like a bitch. I like all the studio talking noise. 5/5 for sentimentality

rating overall: 43.8/65, about 66%. but I dont vibe w that honestly. I had a great time doing this and discovered some great music. I also cant ignore their historical significance and the insight it gave me into my parents' youth, which is probably the most interesting thing about the beatles. I choose to recuse myself from assigning a grade and instead, on a pass/fail scale, pass them.

reflection: they were so prolific in 10 years with wildly varying results, but it makes me feel like we need to all create more haphazardly and throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks instead of being so precious about it. because honestly, a monkey at a typewriter with that kind of output WILL eventually write something good. I also think it's the kill baby Mussolini principle in that even if you killed baby Mussolini there would still be the sociopolitical situation which gave rise to Mussolini. so if The Beatles never formed there would've been other band/s who evolved with the upheaval of the 60s who would now serve as this cultural touchstone. but this is what we got and thats quite interesting I think.

takeaway: I cant listen to another beatles song for at least 2 calendar years

[toast-is-ticklish]

Would really love some mor Lee! Red Son fixa, hopefully with Ler! Mei

Ask and you shall receive! I also put MK in here because I just love that funny little guy.

Sleepover

Lee! Red Son, Ler! Mei, and Ler! MK

Will I continue to project onto almost every single character I write about? Most definitely.

Basically red is feeling really nervous at a sleepover with their friends and they get reassured with tickles and kind words. Ft. A group hug.

___________________________________________

Red son blearily checked the time only to see a big, red, taunting 4:15 am on the clock next to his bed.

Shit.

After being invited to a sleepover with Mei and the Noodle Boy, they had accidentally stayed up almost all night frantically googling. What do people do at sleepovers? How should they act? He didnt want to be a poor guest! They had to make sure they didnt screw it up!

So after hours upon hours of useless wikihow articles and blog posts, they were left sitting in their bed, completely wired, probably not going to sleep a wink.

He figured he could just nap a bunch tommorow before he went over, but instead he ended up getting everything ready by 6am and anxiously pacing around the house until they had to be at MKs apartment which was 5:00pm.

Christ they were a mess.

So now here they were, anxiously sitting on MKs couch, running on a fuck ton of instant coffee and pure nervous energy. They literally looked like a wood board on the couch.

"Uuhhhhhh. Red Boy? You good?" Mei said as she laid down an armful of snacks onto the coffee table and sat down.

Red son snapped his head over so quickly it looked like it hurt. "Me? Of course I am, you bozo! I'm simply perturbed by how utterly depressing the Noodle Boys lair is." He talked a little faster than normal, his nerves shining through the flair.

"I keep telling you Red, it's an apartment. Not a lair." MK yelled from the kitchen, before walking into the living room with everybody's popcorn.

Upon seeing red son he squinted his eyes in suspicion. "Whyyyyyyyy do you look like you're being held at gunpoint to sit on my couch? And like you havent slept in 500 years?"

And now Red son was surrounded on all sides by their suspicious, concerned, and extremely nosy friends.

But that's okay, because they were a master of misdirection, even on zero hours of sleep.

"500 years?!" They screeched in mock anger, even letting their flame burst up a little for the dramatics, "I take offense to that."

"And I take offense to you obviously dodging my question."

Shit.

"I-I. I dont know what you mean." He mumbled, pointedly looking away.

He didnt want to tell those two how nervous he was. It was embarrassing.

"Fess up, Red Boy!" Mei exclaimed, "We're your friends! You can trust us yaknow?" She started poking his side, mainly as an attempt to annoy him onto confessing whatever it was that he was so keen on hiding.

She was very pleasantly suprised to be met with a squeak.

"MK?" She said, oozing with mischief, "I think I just found a great way to get our friend to open up a little."

Red Son wishes they could say they put up a good fight, but their total lack experience with tickling combined with their lack of sleep ended up with them just sort of flailing around uselessly before being immediately pinned.

"Prepare for your doom, Red Son!" MK announced in a goofy 'evil' voice, before both of Reds friends erupted in the cheesiest evil laughs he had ever heard.

"You two are really bad at that, you know?" He said, nervous grin wobbling on his lips.

"Nuh Uh! Bullying later, laughing now!" Mei said, before diving into Red Sons ribs, digging her fingers in and scribbling all over.

"Ah! Nohohhahah! Ihihihis thihihihis- Ahahah! Nehehecesaahahahy?!"

Red son squeaked before bursting into high pitched, childish laughter, which really made him want to cover his face right about now. He squirmed around weakly, just sort of grabbing Meis hands as if that would in any way stem the somersaults his stomach was doing.

"Seems pretty necessary to me!" MK said, and even though Red couldnt see his face, they could hear the stupid smirk in his voice.

MK suddenly joined the fray, but not at all in the way Red Son expected.

He expected MK to be very rough and boisterous, so he didnt expect the boy to go for his neck and ears, and especially did not expect for him to be so incredibly gentle.

Then he immediately realized why.

The contrast of sensation was driving him insane!

Scrunching his shoulders up as he shook his head back in forth, Red son realized just how screwed they were. The tickles on his ribs from Mei made his back arch into her hands, making it tickle worse. Meanwhile MK was not only making them look like a dork but also increasing the butterflies in their stomach making their anticipation go up, making everything more ticklish.

Maybe they were evil.

"Red boy your tickle laugh is so cute!!" Mei squealed as she scribbled down to his sides.

Red Son had never actually been called cute by anybody, except for when he was being condescended to. So when Mei called him that, he essentially felt like his brain exploded.

They could feel themselves blushing as those goddamn butterflies in their stomach went fucking crazy again. The word echoed in their mind over and over again, 'cute' ,and every time it did it was more flustering.

So why did it also feel kind of warm and fuzzy?

Mei seemed to have noticed his internal dilemma and looked a little too excited about it. "MK!! I think Red Boy likes being called cute!!"

What.

"Nononono! NohohoOHOT truhUHAHahah!" He squealed, nope, nuh uh, no way, that's too embarrassing to be happening right now.

Mk leaned over to take one look at Red Sons face and apparently something was telling because he immediately broke into a playful grin.

"They do!"

"Ihihi DOHohonT! Ahahnd ihiHIHIm NOhohOHT!!"

Red son definitely did not whine through laughter.

"Your denial is also adorable, Red boy."

Mei giggled to herself before shoving her hands into his underarms, making the fiery teen squeal before breaking into slightly hysterical sounding cackles.

There were many words to describe Red Son, most of them not very nice, and adorable was definitely not one of them. That's what he would've said if he could, but what came out of his tickle fried brain was less eloquent.

"NohHOhoho! NHOHOT AhahdROAHAHABLE! NohoHOH! HEHAHAHAH!"

Red Son laughed loud and uncontrolled as once again that stupid word ran circles around their mind. They were too tired for this...confusion.

Still they felt that stomach flipping sensation again, and the warm fuzziness, and could not convince themselves it was entirely unpleasant.

Although supremely embarrassing.

"Hey Mei! You stay up here, I wanna try something!" MK said before quickly scurrying down to Red Sons legs. What the hell was he up to now?

Red was having trouble focusing on his suspicion what with the chest shaking laughs and ticklish shocks racking his frame though.

When MK skittered his fingers behind Reds knees, they wanted to encase themselves in concrete and wait a million years until they came out and proceeded to live the life of a hermit for the rest of eternity.

Their laughter immediately became a lot more bubbly, as they kicked their legs out weakly and snorted with a squeak.

"O.M.G!! Was that a snort I just heard? That's just too cute! You're gonna kill me, Red!" MK cooed while scrambling to not fall off of Reds kicking legs.

"SToHop cAHAHLLIHNG MeheHeheHe Thahat youHOUHOU *snort* WeiRHEIRDOHOHOS!"

Why must these two always throw him into weird internal crisis?

The fact that they had snorted and were being cooed at was not helping their current state of looking like a tomato on fire. They squeezed their eyes shut, mainly just to avoid eye contact at this point.

The butterflies in his stomach seemed to love it though.

'Awwww' was all the warning he got from Mei before she switched over to skittering all over his stomach, making his laughter switch from hysterical to completely childish.

Full, bubbly, laughs took hold of him as he squirmed desperately, scrambling for anything to grab before settling on weakly tugging at Meis wrists.

"Hahahehehahah! WHhyhyyhy ihihis tHIhihis hahaPahahnihing tohoho meheeh!?!"

"I actually forgot." MK said said with a chuckle, still evilly attacking Reds knees.

"Uuhhhhhhhhhh." Mei looked blankly over Red Sons head before jerking back to reality, "Oh! Right, tell us what's bothering you or we will tickle you... FOREVER!" She announced, following up with another goofy evil laugh.

"Youhouhou cahahant mahhake mehe!!" Red laughed out and immediately knew that was the wrong choice of words.

"You suuuuure bout that?" Mei said before drilling into Red Sons hips like the evil psychopath she is.

Red shrieked and burst into loud pitchy laughter.

At the same time, MK started squeezing at the tops of his knees, sending ticklish shocks everywhere.

The only thought that Red Son could produce at this point was 'tickles'. Head thrown back, starting to go limp with chest shaking laughter, they were officially gone.

"You good there, Red Boy?"

"AHAHEHEHAHAH! HAHEHAHAH!"

"Sounds great!" 

Suddenly Mei found a spot on Reds hips that them screech before breaking into completely silent laughter.

"ILLTELLOHMYGODSTOP" Red son somehow wheezed out, and immediately his friends withdrew their hands and gave him some space to breathe.

After a few moments passed of Red son catching their breath, they were the first to break the silence.

"I have never seen such pure evil as what you just subjected me to."

Both MK and Mei broke out into giggles.

"Yehehea yehea, sure. Now tell us what was bothering you or you might see some more 'pure evil'." MK said with a smirk.

"Uuugggghhhhhh. Do I have to?"

"Yep! I'm invoking bestie priviledges!" Mei said, ignoring a certain MK who was wiggling his fingers while dramatically whispering 'eviiiiiiiiil'.

"Fine. I was just nervous. I guess."

"Why?" MK and Mei asked, tilting their heads a little in confusion.

"Well. I've never really had friends before. And I've never been to a sleepover before, and I was just worried that I would just, kinda, ruin everything?" Red said, looking away and fidgeting with their hands.

"I'm not fun and outgoing like you two, I dont know how to be! And I kept reading all these articles that were like, 'Just relax! Be yourself! Blah blah blah!'  But I'm pretty sure whoever wrote them didnt expect the sleepover hosts to be past mortal enemies you helped your dad try to murder! What if I accidentally light your duvet on fire?! What if-"

"Woah, woah, woah! Take a breath Red, everything's okay! First of all, you're not going to ruin anything. Literally you just being here is enough to make the sleepover better, because you're our friend and we love you and love being around you." Mk reassured, a look of concern on his face.

"Yeah, Red Boy! And no matter how cheesy those articles you read sound, they're right! You dont need to act like anybody else around us. You dont need to pretend to be whatever you think is 'fun and outgoing'. We just want you!" Mei chipped in.

Red son seemed to take a second to process everything he was just told, before a small smile overtook his face. He looked up eyes a little glassy and just said "Thank you guys.", voice uncertain and a lot softer than usual.

"We got you, Red."

Ams suddenly he was in a group hug. It was warm. And nice.

"And what do we say about the stuff with DBK?" Mei said, raising her eyebrows a little.

"Its water under the bridge." Red son said in a monotone voice, pretending to be annoyed.

"Exactly! Now who wants to eat some popcorn that's definitely cold by now and watch the entire Monkey Cop movie series?!"

[dear-ao3]

so for everyone asking about my theories on my house:

-my house was built in the early 40s, i dont know the year, but it was during the war.

-the united states did not enter the war until december of 1941 but they began drafting men into the army in 1940. if you recall my house was built during the war during the early 40s. my theory is that most of the able bodied, young men (such as those who would be working in house construction) were likely drafted (as happens in most wars), this leaving less qualified, and potentially older men, or anyone who wasnt able to be drafted for whatever reason, to build my house. this is not meant to be ableist and it will come into play later.

-over the years my parents have done a lot of work to our house themselves. it is important to point out that i believe we are only the second owners of this house and as far as we know the owners before us did not do any major work to the house.

-the house itself is a two story with a living room, a dining room and a kitchen on the first floor, 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom on the second floor, and a basement as well as an attached garage and a back porch.

-anyway. the house.

-our house is first of all sitting crooked on the property. or the property line was drawn crookedly. either way, the people who built it didnt know much about math (see point 1). you can see why this might be an issue when building a house

-the construction on our house (as you might have guessed) is....questionable at best. i have no idea how its still standing honestly.

-my parents ripped apart the kitchen like 4 years ago and we found some very interesting things. such as heating vents that were cut right through studs and weight baring beams. studs that were not aligned properly. one board that actually spins when you flicked it. we have only taken down the sheetrock in the kitchen, so who know what the hell else is hiding in this house.

-aside from that, the hardwood floors in the kitchen are different than anywhere else in the house. like the ran our of boards and shoved some from a different job in the kitchen. (once again see the point about math)

-there is a heating vent in the shower. not in the bathroom. literally in the shower. like if youre standing in the tub, showering, youre staring at a heating vent. once we had a contractor come for something or other and he looked at the shower vent and laughed cause he had "never seen anything like that before." a house contractor. who does this shit for a living.

-in my bedroom there are two doors that literally open into each other. my bedroom door and my closet door slam into each other if you open them all the way.

-every single floor in this house is sloped. now that could be settling, but given the absolute disregard for math on other parts of the house, i would not be surprised if it was just the way it was built.

-and my favorite one so far has been our collapsing porch.

-yes on monday our back porch collapsed. it sounded like an earthquake and it was fantastic. and when i say collapsed, i mean that the floor collapsed. our porch is about an 8 x 15 foot rectangle and the floor was concrete, there were wooden banisters and a shingle roof. over time the thing had started to collapse and my dad had pulled off the shingles a bunch of years ago and they were going to fix it but they never did.

-so on monday the concrete floor collapsed. and it revealed something very interesting: THE PORCH WAS HOLLOW!!! literally underneath the six inch concrete slab or floor there was nothing. no mesh, no cinderblocks, just a 12 foot deep hole. the hole literally goes down to the footings of the house. and theres a bunch of debris in it. and we assume that the slab was held up by some old rotting wood or something but like what in the hell?? the insurance man showed up and literally told my dad that he had never seen anything like that before. like why? what?? you would think?? that people in construction would know how to construct something sound??? but no. its only a matter of time until the whole house collapses. (see point one)

-now thats just some of the nonsense that we have found in this house

-like 10 years ago we had the oil tank in our yard taken out. it was a ONE THOUSAND GALLON TANK BY THE WAY which usually isnt used in residential housing (again, point one). but anyway. we found a hugeass milk jar during the excavation. and of course they werent drinking milk. it was definitely alcohol. which could also explain a lot.

so that is my house. its a fun little disaster. i know the theory about the people who built it probably isnt accurate but thats the family legend and im not looking for a lecture from any of you i am just sharing the lore and my thoughts.

[rosebramblewolf]

i watched the first episode and felt my eyes closing and was able to snatch a couple hours

second worst news of my life yall. i say second worst because i learned what mortality is once before, and i know how to walk through learning it again

you forget in between, you see. you have to, to survive, to function day by day in the world.

but i know the path of this gut deep knowledge, this road and i are old acquaintances - and this time i am not isolated by an abusive spouse, and i know how to ask for help and support and allow the people who love me to be on my team

i didnt know how to do that before

i came to the er on thursday mentally prepared for what i thought was the worst case scenario: that the leg situation wasn't reversible and i would need to use a wheelchair

but instead, i will be able to walk again relatively soon! and am dying.

i knew there had been some changes to the breast that had a benign tumor from a decade and a half ago, what i saw was recent enough that i felt safe waiting until my better insurance plan kicked in

but theyre saying this would have been metastasizing gradually over a number of years to get where it is. and based on the potentially related symptoms theyre asking me about, i can see some of it has been at least 5 or 6, probably even longer.

idk if the biopsy was wrong somehow when i was 26. idk if maybe something was changing under the fibroadenoma, like right under it, bc theres a lot of tiddy there and it was right under the nipple and thered be no way i could feel anything under it from the side.

they couldnt even find the damn thing when i had that mammogram, i had to get an ultrasound so they could see it.

with it being right under the nipple, theres a type of breast cancer that will start out isolated inside of a single milk duct and if left alone may eventually bust out. so absent any other information, my gut feeling is it was cancer the whooole time.

some of the classifications of this shit will be like "tumor is no bigger than a mm" like bitch ! how would i EVER find that in a self exam. a millimeter.

i did what i was supposed to up until my last physical, when i didnt get these new changes checked out right away for insurance reasons. and looking at my scans it would already have been stage 4 at that time anyway.

the energy i felt like i lost as soon as i hit my 30s. the way my alcohol tolerance has gone down (this shit is in my liver, apparently very common place for it to spread)

YEARS its been that i assumed everyone, on the regular, would sometimes "think they had to pee but be wrong", like once or twice every couple of days. but thats probably related to this too. and i genuinely just thought that happened to everyone, because its definitely since before i ever found the original lump.

probably from a few years earlier in my 20s when the lump was a damn millimeter.

but psa, if you are also like "wait that doesnt happen to everyone??" TELL YOUR DOCTOR YOU SOMETIMES HAVE TROUBLE URINATING. they need to look into it. might not be this, might be something else, is not normal/healthy, could be a sign of something serious.

anyway good morning tumblrinas lol. im going to see my neurosurgeon again today i think is the plan? hopefully he'll come around when my dad is here

i want to ask him a couple things

1) can i get like, a photo of the chunk of donor tibia before they do the surgery, so i can show it to people at work like "this is in my spine"

2) is there any way for me to send a letter to the donors family, whether i ever know who the donor is or not, just to thank them for giving me the chance to literally get back on my own two feet

well i cant get to sleep bc i cant turn off my brain about cancer stuff. last time i felt like this about some news was when mom died, i couldnt sleep then either

and at the time what helped me get through it was binge watching the first (at the time the only) season of mlp:fim

so uh im gonna go ahead and do that

[shatterspin]

absolute mess of my random ninjago headcanons if you still want them:

-Cole is HoH and wears an earring on the ear that hears better so people remember which direction to talk

-Jay and Lloyd are both ADHD (Lloyd is autistic as well) and united they are a force of chaos. they nerd out over starfarer and other hyperfixations they've shoved at each other over the years, and have gone to cons together

-Cole and Zane are also both autistic. Zane is aware of the notable difference between how he communicates/behaves and how the average person does. Cole often doesn't know and doesn't care. This results in both of them being different flavors of socially awkward but Cole being 10x more confident about it. It ends up helping Zane to feel more accepted and to gain confidence in himself as well.

-Garmadon had a section of time between seasons 2 and 3 where he was no longer evil but was just a weirdo because he was trying to enjoy life again and went through some Phases. he attempted to learn a bunch of jokes for a while. it was painful. but Lloyd, Misako, and Wu were just glad to see him happy and free again

-Nya gives really good hugs, but is hesitant to ask for affection for herself. she fears depending on others too greatly, and this was a strain on her relationship with Jay until they talked some things out.

-Jay's music taste is like *7 dubstep songs in a row, anime theme song, more dubstep, money machine by 100 gecs, more dubstep, random 80's love song with the opposite vibe of the entire playlist, more dubstep, 6 consecutive 100 gecs songs, thunderstruck by ACDC, more dubstep--*

-Cole cannot STAND this

-Kai is dyslexic but didn't know it for years and thought reading must just be Like That

-Pixal helped Zane run diagnostics on himself when she was in his head. Without her he has a bit more difficulty figuring out where he is damaged or if he needs maintenance. he's somewhat out of touch with his body at times

-Lloyd, Jay, and Nya all bit people when they were kids

-Kai has therefore been bitten by both Lloyd and Nya. and threatened by Jay

-Wu genuinely doesn't remember his age at this point. like why keep counting

-Zane bribed his way into Lloyd's heart with food very early into the friendship and they've always been chill with each other since

-Kai always felt untalented as a kid while Nya seemed to be able to pick up a wide range of skills and hobbies, so his abilities as a ninja are more personal and vital to him than to most of the team

-every single one of them has accidentally called Wu dad

ooug u sent a lot!!! thank you! the numbered points r corresponding to the hcs points

2.

they're debating if it's worth going for the other con days after the first day

4. garmadon would've been alive for way too long so he's also has time earlier going thru different phases

6. ed also collected old music that he might've found/bought and would play them a lot at home so there's just a bunch of super old n obscure music in the mix

8. the others would've noticed smth might've been wrong once he starts trying to reading smth long out loud

11. kai being bitten by nya n lloyd can just be excused since they are kids. jay has no excuse, he will die if he actually bit kai.

12. both him and garmadon didnt keep any track from the beginning since FSM didn't need to remember when they were born, it's not like they would've needed to fill out some kinda documents or smth? i don't think so at least. right now they do have fake birth dates just for the sake of documents tho

14. when they were younger, kai didn't have any time to focus on hobbies and wanted to help out his neighbors that took him and nya in as much as they could and any free time he had he would spend it w nya or attempting to blacksmith

15. in the beginning when only a few of them did call wu "dad" by accident, they would make fun of each other for making such a mistake but once all of them has accidentally called wu "dad" at least once they would just stop making fun of each other bc theyd be made fun of back

[https-sen]

Life

Pairing(s): Razor x gn!reader/gn!traveler (and Bennett)

Genre: Angst (and Fluff if u simp for Benny like i do <3)

Warning(s): Cheating (like sleeping together and all that jazz), Very angry reader (you threw a thing to a bush), Cursing [lmk if i missed any]

A/N: i love benny and razor vvv much so i made this :3 but uh lets try this first genshin fic? if this flops i'd continue my suna part 2 (or just 2 diff endings)

!!!THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD!!!

!reminder [ALL genders (including males) are allowed to read my fics <3]

"Stop."

Dead-stuck in your tracks, you sigh before turning around to meet him. Staring down into the teary eyed boy as he mustered his way to you, trying to catch up with your fast pace. "Please, I-I'm sorry! I never meant to kiss her, it was just an accident. A m-misunderstanding!", feeling himself falling into the hole of desperateness. "Razor, I-" "Pups. It's Pups, love.", he cut you off trying to hold your hand while the tears fall down quicker and quicker. Unwrapping his grasp around your wrist (because you tough-tough bestie 😼) making him quiver since he's never seen you so livid. "Razor, I saw the signs. I've heard all the rumours. I've known about him/her (Aether/Lumine). But, being quite foolish and stubborn, I decided to ignore everything. My only remaining question is, why am I so blind!?", throwing your sword aside to rupture 4 bushes (🍃) in rage and frustration making little Razor flinch in fear. "Why was I so fucking happy even if I knew what was going on between you and your new.. new lover..?", crouching your entire body for him to stare at you. You who was trying so hard not to cry. Razor was scared of being left alone and felt terrible you were going to shed tears because... because of him. He began to bawl his eyes out repeating "I'm sorry", "I never meant to" and "Please dont leave me" with sniffles between every single word. Getting up as you wipe your teary eyes once you calmed down, silently glaring at whom who ruined your idea of love. "Let's never meet." as you ran, and ran, and ran not bothering to look back.

Timeskip to 5 months later... (Razors POV and he hasnt met bennett in a year since he went for an adventure with Aether/Lumine to find their twin and they found each other ig 🧚🏻‍♀️)

"Hey, thats my tart!"

"Wait that voice sounded familiar.", running as quickly as I could through the forest, I darted behind a tree as I saw a nostalgic silhouette. "It.. It cant be. Bennett and.. y/n..?" Watching from an oak tree, I saw them kissing his cheek as he playfully nuzzled against their neck. Something.. something we would do. Bennett grabbed the picnic basket for them to carry before walking hand in hand. Something we did.. all the time. "I love you so very much". My heart shattered to pieces once I heard that. The words they would tell me everyday and reminding me.. I was their everything. But I ruined that of course. By sleeping with Aether/Lumine, I ruined their life. For now all I can do.. is watch them have the life.. the life I wished I didnt mess up.

rip those bushes </3 im hoping this doesnt flop like my other angst (if it does istg writersblock finna whoop my ass) and i hope you enjoyed this uh petty angst? i dont have much to say except for helping me out by reblogging, liking and following me if you enjoyed it! Im a small account so it'll be much help ^^ oh, and please gimme asks on whatever tf you want idrc i just need writing material- stay safe, healthy and hydrated! remember dear reader, you are LOVED!! <3

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Go Go Let's Go! Let's Go! Dateko! (Pt.1)

⚠️THIS FIC IS 18+ NSFW, MINORS DNI ⚠️

Warnings: Swearing

Word count: 7000+

"You're looking at the face of the new captain of Date Techs iron wall" your son Futakuchi Kenji shouted as he burst through the front door of your humble abode.

"So they really went with you huh" you snicker "good maybe now you'll finally learn some respect for Moniwa and those other nice third years"

Kenji huffed as he set his bag down taking off his school tie and jacket.

 "You know mom, most parents would be like 'oh my god Kenji I'm so proud of you we can order your favorite tonight I love you so much you sweet sweet child'" he mocks as you stare at him trying not to laugh.

"Since when has that been our relationship Kenji" you smile as you proceed over to your son.

You grab him forcing him into a tight squeeze "Oh I love my boy so much you are so precious I can't wait to go cheer for Date Tech every single game now" you gush as he tries to force his way from your grasp.

"Eww mom please stop" he says as he gags "I didn't mean that supportive. Please don't show up at our games."

"I don’t know Kenji those team mates of yours really do like me" you snicker as you turn around "I wouldn't ever want anyone to think I don't support my precious baby boy."

Kenji rolled his eyes as you laughed. You had always had a really good relationship with your son. You had him at the age of 20 while you were in a relationship with his father. Unfortunately the relationship didn't work out and his father left the area. You didn't see him much and neither did Kenji. You struggled as a single mom, finding your main support in your parents. You had a great relationship with them and the 4 of you together made up a tiny happy family.

Your parents helped you finish school while your mother watched Kenji. You graduated and getting the job you had worked years for. Now that you were established, things were going well. Kenji was doing well in school, playing volleyball for one of the top schools in the Miyagi prefecture and you were working long hours at a job you loved. No matter what you always made time for your son. He didn't really want you to attend his games so you would occasionally sneak into one watching from the nosebleeds. You loved seeing your son doing what he loved and you always encouraged him.

"So what does a team captain do" you ask as you place the order for your son's favorite take out.

"I mean I run pratices, lead drills and encourage the team" he says nonchalantly as he looks over his school work.

"Not a strong suit of yours Kenj" you smile as he shots a death glare at you.

"Well it's alot easier now that we have a manager to help too" he says.

"Oh you found one then?" You smile

"Yeah Nametsu Mai, she's a second year. She will be doing a lot of the note taking and helping with set ups. Also it's nice to have someone making bentos for the team" he says.

You look up from the bills on your counter "wait she's doing all that alone? That poor girl why does she have to do all that?"

"It's her job mom chill" Kenji says as he laughs at your outburst.

"And your job Kenji is to make sure your team runs efficiently so I expect you to be helping you" you turn as you raise your eyebrows at him.

"Mom ser-" Kenji starts as he sees the glare in your eyes.

"I'm 100% serious Kenji. If you don't help that girl I swear to God that I will be front and center at every single match. Every single tournament with a giant sign in the shape of your face and a shirt that says 'I'm Futakuchi Kenji's number one fan'" you glare as his eyes widen.

"Ok mom ok ill invite her over to help her my god you're mean" he says as you smile.

"I'm off Friday so I can help you make bentos too. You really suck Kenji at doing anything domestic" you smile as you walk to the door to get the takeout you ordered.

Kenji shakes his head as he groans.

Thank God I'm only captain for 1 year he thinks as he signs going to help you get the food.

Friday approaches quickly as the team gears up for their first round of tournaments

"Mai" Kenji calls as he motions for her to come over

"Yes Kenji?" Mai says with a bright smile

"So I want to help you prepare meals for the team for the tournament" he says.

The team stops. Mai looks at him in shock. Middle blocker Aone Takanobu just stares. Fellow outside hitter Obara Yutaka smiles as Libero Sakunami Kōsuke looks on in complete shock.

"Stop looking at me like that! I'm a helpful person!" He screams as they all go back to their activities.

"Ahh it's ok Kenji I really don't need he-" Mai waves shaking her hands.

"Just come to my place tonight ok" Kenji says as the gym doors suddenly burst open.

Coach Oiwake Takurō just shakes his head as he witnesses to former 3rd year volleyball players parade into the gym.

"Well hello our precious underclassmen" Former Middle blocker Kamasaki Yasushi shouts as he walks over to the team.

Kenji just shakes his head "you guys really must lead boring lives if you always have to come bother us during practice. Haven't you found a job yet Kamasaki?" Kenji smirks as he sees the third year began to get heated.

"And here I thought you changed Futakuchi" he says as he goes to grab the captain by the collar. 

 Suddenly someone yells "Aone" and Aone goes to break up the fighting duo.

"Still no respect for your upperclassmen I see" Former captain Moniwa Kaname says with a laugh.

"Well since you're here you might as well make yourselves useful" Kenji says as he stares at Kamasaki "go block for me."

Kamasaki loosens his tie as former wing spiker Sasaya Takehito says as he shakes his head "not again."

Practice ends as the team clears the gym. Mai and Kenji walk to the Futakuchi residence. 

 As they approach, Mai looks at Kenji.

"You really don't need to help me" Mai says "it's my job as manager."

"I know Mai but you see- umm well my mom kinda insisted I help you" Kenji says "she's a bit- much."

They walk to the front door as Kenji opens it. Y/N comes running from the kitchen to greet her son and hopefully their team manager.

"KENJI I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DIDNT BRING-" you stop as Kenji just stares at you.

"Oh hello! You must be Mai!" You say extending your hand to the young girl.

"Hello Ms. Futakuchi! It's so nice to meet you" Mai says as she bows, saying Y/Ns hand.

"You as well! Kenji you didn't tell me how cute she was! You must get attention for all the boys" you smile as Mai blushes.

"Mom seriously" Kenji says as his face turns read and he walks away putting his and Mai's bags on the floor.

"What? It's true! But take it from me honey, boys are nothing but trouble! Look at Kenji" you say as you smirk to your son, Mai trying to hide her giggling.

"Ok mom did you just invite her over to ridicule me?" Kenji says to you completely unimpressed

"Nope I can do that without inviting her over! Now let's go to the kitchen Mai" you say as you lead the young girl to the kitchen.

You and Mai work to prepare bentos as you put Kenji to work where you need him.

"Honestly Kenji just stay out of the way" you shout.

"Mom why did you even ask me to invite her over?! I'm literally doing nothing" he says as he sits at the table

"Yes and you're terrible at it" you roll your eyes.

Mai finds your relationship with Kenji amusing and lighthearted. She can tell you have a great relationship with your son and you both feel comfortable picking on each other.

"Ok that's the last of it Mai. You did such a great job! The boys are so lucky to have you. And if they ever say anything rude to you, you let me know and I'll take care of it" you nudge Mai as she giggles.

"Oh don't worry Ms Futakuchi, Coach Oiwake makes sure they appreciate me" she smiles.

"Coach Oiwaka? I don't think I've met him" you turn slowly looking at Kenji

"Why would you need to mom? You always tell me you're happy to get rid of me to whomever will take me off your hands" he says to you in a mocking tone.

"Still! Is he cute?" You say as Mai laughs out loud

"Mom we are not having this discussion " Kenji says as he places his hands over his ears and walks out of the kitchen.

"Well is he?" you say smiling at Mai.

"For an older man, yes" she says giggling "he's been divorced for a few years now. No kids to speak of. He's pretty dedicated to being the coach"

You smile. It's been forever since you've been out with a man. After Kenji's father left, you were top focused on your career and school to even consider dating, let alone be intimate. It had been at least 5 years since you last had sex. Honestly you weren't even sure that was accurate.

"Ms. Futakuchi" Mai says to you as you stare off into space "umm Ms. Futakuchi?"

"Oh gosh I'm sorry Mai! Just thinking. How about we keep the bentos here and I'll bring them tomorrow morning before you leave?" You smile as Mai nods.

"Heck maybe I'll even get to chance to see this gorgeous coach of yours" she winks

"LA LA LA MOM I CANT HEAR YOU" Futakuchi sings from the other room as you both laugh.

Saturday morning approaches as Kenji leaves early to help load the bus. You leave the house at 7:30 in your leggings and old date tech t shirt, figuring it would just be a quick stop to drop off the bentos and back home to enjoy a day free from Kenji and responsibilities as an adult.

You arrive at the school and see the bus outside. It seems like the team is in the gym so you quickly grab the box making your way to the gym. You start to press the door open as you enter slowly.

Coach Oiwake looks up from his notes to see a beautiful young women standing holding an entire box of bentos.

Who are you? And how in the world are you so attractive?

"Kenji you jerk get over here and help your poor mother" you say sarcastically as the team snickers.

"More like 'poor me having to deal with my MOM showing up to my volleyball gym’" kenji rolls his eyes as he quickly walks away from you.

"Love you too sweetheart" you blurt out as every laughs and Coach Oiwake smiles.

"Futakuchi is this really your mother?" Coach says as he watches Kenji out the bentos on the floor.

"Unfortunately yes" Kenji says as he rolls his eyes rejoining his team.

You turn to walk out as Coach Oiwake stops you.

"Mrs. Futakuchi, hello I'm Coach Oiwake Takurō" he says as he extends his hand to yours.

"Oh no 'Mrs' please. Just Y/N" you say as you blush.

The team is observing your interactions.

"Awe that's so cute" Mai gushes as Obara places a hand on Kenji's shoulder.

"Man I don't blame coach at all. Your mom is hot" Obara laughed as Futakuchi glared at him.

"Can we please load the bus and stop talking about my mother? Kenji says.

"Well Y/N we very much appreciate you helping Mai with the Bentos" Coach Oiwake says to you as you smile.

"Don’t mention it Coach Oiwake! Kenji should be doing it anyways AS THE CAPTAIN" you sarcastically shout to him as he walks by you.

Coach Oiwake laughs "I can see where Futakuchi gets his whit Y/N and please call me Takurō."

You smile.

"I hope you'll be able to make it out to the tournament this weekend. I know the boys would appreciate the support" Takurō says as Kenji snaps his neck around.

"Oh no coach my mom is busy this weekend right MOM" Kenji says as he bores holes into your face.

"Actually I don't work this weekend Kenj! Hey that's a great idea! I'll come to support our boys" you shout as you go to hug your son.

Takurō laughs as he watches how cute you interact with your son.

"I look forward to seeing you there Y/N" Takuro says as he turns around winking at you.

Is the coach really flirting with me? you think as you giggle to yourself.

"Oh my god" Kenji shouts as he walks away "Oh don't worry sweetie I promise I won't cheer too loud for my precious angel" you tease as you bid the team and Kenji a farewell.

Damn I need to get to know her Takurō thinks as he smiles as you walk away.

taglist: @axoxtxhxh​

[iwaisuke]

confessions; but not remembering it

ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader

genre: fluff

masterlist

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo

» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you

» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!

» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"

» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"

» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"

» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.

» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"

» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.

» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.

» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.

» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"

» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.

» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.

» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.

» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."

» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.

» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.

» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled

» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.

» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.

» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes

» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.

» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.

» "huh? but practice is-"

» "please l/n san. for me"

» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.

» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step

» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"

» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.

» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.

» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"

» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.

» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"

» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.

» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.

» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.

» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.

» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"

» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say

» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"

» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.

» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.

» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"

» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"

» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.

» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.

» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"

» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line

» "i like you a lot too l/n san"

» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT

» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something

» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.

» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK

» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"

» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"

» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"

» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.

» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.

» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.

» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point

» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that

» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.

» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted

» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.

» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"

» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.

» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.

» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"

» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?

» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.

» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.

» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.

» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.

» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!

» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.

» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"

» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."

» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.

» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.

» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.

» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.

» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.

» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.

» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.

» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"

» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.

» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"

» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.

» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

thank you for your order! enjoy~!

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale's Story Idea: 'Those of another world must die' or 'Isekai no mono ha shi ke re ba naranai'

(I probably butchered the Japanese. But the point is to give it a light novel title feel)

(Since a few people have been asking what my light novel idea was. I decided to explain it and go a bit more in-depth)

Premise: Rumors have been circulating about a Killer known only as 'Hero Eater' is targeting heroes in the Human Kingdom of Itsumo. But not everything is as it seems, Itsumo has many dark secrets and the kingdom may need a change...

The world of Itsumo.

Now the setting would be similar to most fantasy Isekai worlds. Money consists of Gold, silver, Bronze coins. Platinum coins are for the super rich.

Magic exists, Magical items exist. Levels exist.

There are dragons, goblins, the typical fantasy fair/ D&D/MMORPG feel but with a lot more twists

Summoned Heroes

When it comes to Summoned heroes things get different.

1. 'Heroes from another world' are treated above the standard people. As being summoned from another world gives them stupidly over powered abilities compared to the average citizen of Itsumo. The Elites show them favoritism.

2. Aside from obviously enhanced strength, speed, durability, and magic. They level up faster, have overall higher stats, and Summoned heroes also get some sort of Overpowered ability.

3. These over powered abilities or OPAs are ranked from S to E. Depending on that OPA, determines your lot as a 'Summoned Hero'

4. E's are the lowest. The skill is just slightly useful. Summoned heroes are still MUCH stronger than the average soldier. So these heroes are often brainwashed Coerced and put as soldiers on the front lines, or bodyguards of the elite. (Basically they are just glorified meat shields.)

4.5 There is nothing ranked lower than E. Those summoned ALWAYS have a OPA.

5. C and D Ranks are considered worlds more useful. These heroes depending on their abilities are thrown into a field where their skills can be utilized. These heroes are usually thrown a boon by the king and get funding. These heroes are the ones responsible for the innovations in technology (such as guns, refrigeration, etc). (Though in truth they have done a lot of f***ed experimentation)

6. A and B Rank are considered 'Heroes of the Kingdom'. Those heroes are the ones that you see going around and fighting demon hordes with ease. The ones you see with the harems (usually of whatever their fetish is). They basically have license to do WHATEVER they want, so long as the King doesn't intervene.

7. S Ranks. These summons are incredibly rare, but their skills are 100% broken. To put it in perspective. 1 S Rank hero could easily beat 10 A ranks without breaking a sweat. This is where the OPA's become near god like. Fortunately for some reason, only 7 S ranks can exist in the world at a time. Only when 1 dies can a new S rank otherworlder can appear. Currently the King has some of them watching over different parts of his kingdom. But all of them are considered Legendary.

8. (Little known fact that summoned heroes are often loners, losers, incels, neets, and other lesser freaks of society. Who else would willingly go to another world if their life is actually good?)

9. Some heroes do start out doing good... but power corrupts

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Religion:

The Religion of Itsumo in stated by King Tyran. Insists that there is a kind and loving goddess (Named Oveun Ativ) that blesses Itsumo with the heroes that appear. Basically making those from another world as 'Her blessed children'.

So often regular citizens range from worshiping them or at the very least respecting them. (Though this is simply a front, the average citizen HATES these arrogant s***s. Considering the awful stuff they put them through.)

The Church also has a monopoly on Hero summoning. The ritual that they use is as follows.

1. A young girl will be chosen once a year from every village. (basically not where the nobles live.) It was considered a great honor. (and if the town didnt comply the church would inform the king and that town would be burnt down and all of the young maidens there would be brain washed and taken anyway) A maiden will be trained in magic for several years until her 18th birthday. During this time she must not have relations with men, must not touch the blood of an animal, must read the sacred scriptures and serve the church without question. (Indoctrination)

2. According to the church, the Summoning ritual will then have the young Maiden perform the summoning magic in which if performed successfully, will summon the hero and she will take the form of a portal of light which summons him. After which she will ascend and become an angel that serves the goddess. (This is not true. Its a virgin sacrifice. Those girls are killed in a ritual. Its f***ed up what the s***)

3. If a maiden summons a B or A rank hero she is regarded as an example for others to follow. For she clearly followed the doctrine of the church. She was likely Heavily rewarded by the goddess.

4. If a Maiden summoned C or D rank, they are not discussed often except by friends and family.

5. Maidens that summon E ranked Heroes are considered disgraces. Maidens that clearly did not follow the teachings of the doctrine. Their names are stricken from the records.

6. Maidens that summoned an S Rank hero. Are written into the logs as Blessed by the goddess. They are treated like Saints and some worshiped like deities. Some doctrine claim that they serve at the hands of the goddess after achieving this.

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Economics

Summoned Heroes basically caused Economic collapse for adventurers.

Summoned heroes often hunt monsters and get rare drops, and often those with rare skills can get much more value than typical adventure guilds.

Merchants initially loved Heroes getting them rare drops but when many other worlders started selling so many Rare drops like they were common... it made rare items worth much less and drove value of such items and materials down dramatically. Newer merchants will rarely buy goods from adventurers because of this.

Blacksmiths and artificers initially also had it great. They now get access to powerful materials for cheap. Since their work is labor intensive the value of the item is much less impacted on the product. Though Other worlders with Craft skills have popped up and open businesses that have been driving other types of stores out of business since they can easily craft higher grade weapons for cheaper and faster thanks to OPAs.

The only real way to make money was in the service industry. With rare items and monsters easily hunted and sold for cheap, Restaurants, inns and Taverns have less of a thin margin. And with Otherworlders constantly moving about, the inns had constant customers. Many of these customers would throw money around and expect to be waited on hand and foot. Inns that had pretty women were often the most popular.

Brothels were very popular among Summoned heroes. Though the places that experienced the most traffic were the ones that had more ... unique characteristics. (Animal ears, pointed ears, Wings, horns.) Beast-kin were often very requested.

Societal Impacts

Women would often try to sleep with Summoned heroes. Children made with those of another world often had a chance of producing offspring with an OPA. Which meant that the kid could have a much better life.

The 'Trope' of offering the daughter for saving them was more of a way to ensure their Family had a better life. But in reality this just meant Summoned heroes often obtained harems. This resulted in declining birthrates as many summoned heroes didnt actually often marry humans. Most would simply keep the harem. Or if they did marry they would often sleep around.

Heroes that dismissed companions often left them as single mothers. Some would be lucky to remarry, but many were left single due to social stigma. The claim is that men felt insecure marrying women that have been with heroes, because how could they compare. (In reality it was more like they felt the woman had little self respect to be willing to partake in a relationship with a hero with a harem.) And the off chance the hero did comeback to the woman to find her married, the new husband was likely slaughtered. (This selfish mentality of treating women as things to be owned was disturbingly common in the summoned heroes mind)

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The Main Characters.

Oralee: A maiden that was raised in the church as long as she could remember. Her family had a lot of faith in the church and were honored that she was picked. She followed the doctrine to very high levels. Never ate meat, Never even made contact with another of the opposite sex. She dreamed of summoning an S Rank hero and bringing great honor to the goddess (As a recent S Rank passed away and hasnt been replaced yet). Though the night she along with her fellow maidens were supposed to summon heroes. The 'Hero Eater' arrived and started killing everyone.

Hunter "Hero eater": A high level individual. A skilled fighter with a plethora of weapons in his arsenal. Skilled in strange magic that seems unorthidox yet effective. He wears a skull mask with a black cloak. He wields two daggers. One Named Malice, and the other named Mercy. His goal is to kill every other worlder he comes across. What is his motive? Does he want revenge? Power? Fame? Why did he spare Oralee. What does he look like under that mask?