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polarmarie · 3 years ago

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More than you deserve

@eddieow

I have no excuses for how incredibly late I am. After some hectic weeks, I finally found time to finish this. I hope you enjoy it :D

And again, I'm really sorry for the late gift.

In the open yard of the Fire Nation Palace, she watched the guards help get the furry beast ready while Katara gave them instructions. However, the person she was looking for had yet to arrive. A general sense of concern filled the entire Palace. Servants, guards, and even visitors could anticipate that a tragedy was to come.

Whispers spread across the Palace, and then the rumours leaked into the Capital, like the plague. By now, everyone had heard the Princess' condition did not fate well. Visitors from all noble families came to ask about her daughter, about what could have caused such a malady. Not only nobles came inquiring after her, but Fire Sages, and a myriad of physicians, and healers, all eager to tend to the Princess' illness so they could earn the gratitude of the Fire Lord, and maybe a favour or two. Every day they came, and every day every single one would say the same: the chances of the Princess getting better were scarce. As her mother, it was her responsibility to receive all of them and listen to either their subtle condolences or discouraging words.

The Fire Lord wasn't in the Fire Nation. He had been required in his newly formed United Republic of Nations, and he took his family with him. As always, he had left Iroh as interim regent, and as such, the man busied himself with the most immediate problems of the Nation. So it was all up to her to take care of her daughter's issues.

The beast’s low growl made her look back at the yard's entrance, where a tall Water Tribe man stood cradling a squirming bundle in his arms. His handsome features contorted in a determined expression. He kept glancing back, though, as if lingering for someone else, unwilling to leave alone.

Ursa walked towards Sokka, putting a gentle hand on his bare arm and taking a glimpse of her granddaughter. She was a precious little thing, an identical copy of her mother in every regard, with such powerful lungs that gave her away as a Firebender the moment she was born. Sokka turned his head at her, acknowledging her with a nod.

"Are you certain you want to take your child all the way to Republic City? We could look after her just as well, I assure you".

Sokka shook his head, closing his eyes as if trying to convince himself he was doing the right thing.

"We still don't know what could have gotten her so ill. The healers said it could be contagious, and even Katara thinks it's better not to take chances," he let out a shaky sigh. "She would agree".

Ursa nodded.

“Then you better hurry. The faster you get to Air Temple Island, the faster you two will be on your way to the North Pole”.

Ever since Azula had fallen sick, Sokka had not spent a day away from her, only leaving her side to check on the nursery where their baby was. Azula had not seen her child in weeks, first out of fear of getting her ill too, and then, after a relapse, because she did not have the strength to hold her or even stay conscious.

The last time she was awake, she went missing for a couple of hours, the whole staff looking everywhere until a maid found her in one of the inner gardens. A fever struck her right after that. Azula mumbled and whispered nonsense words for what seemed days, falling in and out of consciousness until one morning she didn't wake.

That had been a week ago, and things were not facing any better.

Master Katara had been summoned then, and she came as fast as she could.

Having his sister by his side appeased Sokka, if just for one moment. Katara managed to restrain the fever but, after long healing sessions, she gave the same verdict as the others: Azula might not make it.

And Sokka broke.

He dismissed everyone out of their shared chambers in the Fire Nation Palace, even Ursa. He went missing all night, just leaving his sister to look after his family. Later she would find out why.

He came back with a grim mood and a countenance of fierce determination. He had a plan.

It took them less than some hours to gather everything they would need for the journey. They had planned to stop by Republic City so that they could leave the baby in the care of the Air Acolytes, whom Katara trusted with her life. And then, they would go to the North Pole.

Ursa had heard, more than once, the story of Princess Yue. How she had been saved as a baby, and how she had become the Moon Spirit afterwards. And she had also heard how Katara saved the Avatar's life with her healing abilities and water from the Spirit Oasis.

The plan was simple, and their long friendship with their sister tribe would help them. But time was not on their side, and if they didn't manage to fetch the Spirit Water and be back within a few days, Azula would definitely not make it.

Her daughter had been ill for months now and weaker by the day.

Oh, my child, she thought, let’s see if luck is on your side. Now we can only wait.

She sighed and followed Sokka.

Ursa stood aside quietly while Katara climbed on the bison’s back and stretched to take the baby, who fussed around until she found a sweet spot on her aunt's arms, still dreaming.

Sokka glanced back again, pain filling his mesmerizing blue eyes.

"She'll be fine," Ursa found herself saying, her words meant to ease his worry. "She has endured worse, Sokka, and she has you now, you will save her."

He shut his eyes tight. "Don't leave her alone, please, she might be scared and run again if she wakes when no one is there." He pursed his lips and finally turned at her, locking his eyes with hers. "If she wakes and asks for her..."

Ursa smiled at him and cupped his left cheek with her palm, reassuringly. "I'll tell her where you and your baby went," she said, trying to soothe him with her soft voice and her warm caress. "I'm her mother, Sokka, there is no better person to look after her than me."

He didn't seem less worried. "I just hope we managed to get back on time." She withdrew her hand slowly, it was like he hadn't even noticed her touch.

Ursa winced.

"You will be. Now, get on that bison and let me take care of my daughter."

He didn't say anything, just climbed on the bison's head and gave the palace one last look before taking the reins and ordering the beast to ascend.

She waved at them and followed their shape with her eyes until they were far beyond her sight, blending with the grey clouds that seemed to match everyone's mood these days.

Ursa took a deep breath, still feeling the tickle sensation of Sokka's unshaven cheek against her palm, warmth spreading up and down through her arm.

She shook her head and composed herself. Mentally preparing to walk back to the palace and talk to more visitors, repeat the same news about her sick daughter and accept their pitied looks and words.

Let’s see if they make it. She doesn’t have much time.

When the maid approached, calling her name and breaking into a sprint to catch up with her on her way to her private garden, she expected the worst.

The girl hadn't said a word; Ursa didn't give her the time. Instead, she rushed to her daughter's chambers upon seeing the apprehension of the maid's gaze. All sorts of thoughts crossed her mind among them, how would he take the news.

What she didn't think of, though, was finding her daughter sitting up, still in bed, but looking as regal as possible. And more conscious than she had been in weeks. She was pale, breathing in and out slowly, controlling her movements not to exert herself and let it show how weak she truly felt. But Ursa saw past that mask, noticing her lips pursed, her limbs strained, and the slight tremble of her chest every time she inhaled. She knew Azula had to be in pain, those small signals proving her right. Ursa put her hands to her mouth, gasping.

"It is good to see you too, Mother," Azula said in a husky voice, a natural result after days without speaking.

And then, she realized they weren't alone. Another maid and the doctor's assistant were pacing all around the room, and the palace's physician was gathering his tools, having finished the examination.

"Why didn't anybody tell me? I should have been here when you woke up." Regret filled her words. She turned to the man still crouching over the nightstand beside Azula.

"Lady Ursa," he started, nodding at her respectfully but not meeting her eyes, "I came as soon as I was told the Princess had awoken, our most immediate concern was to check on the Princess and I didn't have the time..."

"I asked them not to," she said, closing her eyes, and then she smirked a little. "I didn't want to worry you. They already told me how dutifully you have been taking care of your sick daughter since my husband left."

Ursa hid a wince. Azula had always been able to make her lose her composure, even as a child.

"How is she?" Ursa asked, addressing the doctor instead.

"Better than I had expected. Her heart rate isn't as dangerously slow as before, I will need to check her blood pressure over night, but her lungs still seem to be causing trouble. We shall keep an eye on it," the old man lifted his lips in a lopsided grin. "Master Katara's healing did good to you, Princess, but you are still forbidden to leave the bed. Whatever disease you caught, it compromised your immune system badly. If you catch a fever again, you might have a relapse, perhaps worse than the previous one."

He then bowed to the Princess lightly, who moved her hand, dismissing him for the time being. He had already said all those things to her, and she was to expect him within a few hours. Azula said nothing when, after drinking some concoction the physician had given her, she saw her mother go after the man and speak to him. She would have tried to eavesdrop on their conversation, but she felt a heaviness in her heart draining what little strength she had left.

The first thing on her mind after opening her eyes was them. She was lucky one of her maids, Yu, was there, or she would have got out of bed looking for them. As the three women helped her tuck in bed for the night, she glared at her mother, and decided as soon as morning came, she would do as she had planned.

"I'll make sure she follows your instructions, Ryo," Ursa said, walking the man to the door. "I am grateful for all your dedication, and I apologise for my daughter's behaviour. You know her, she hates looking anything but in control."

The man smiled again but lowered his head before speaking. "I'm trying to do my best, but I'm afraid my efforts won't be enough. I went through every book, document and register I could, nothing there fits with her symptoms. It can't be a plague or a family disease. I feel as lost as a novice." He pinched the brink of his nose and sighed.

Ursa lowered her head, shoulders dumping. "I know you're doing your best, but things like this tend to happen. I've heard of people dying out of the blue. If you think Katara's treatment worked, then maybe I should send a message and tell them to return..."

"Please. Don't do that," he said quietly, meeting her eyes. "There is a big chance she’ll be in need of that Spirit Water. I was serious about a relapse, the last one kept her out for far too long and Waterbending healing must have helped her. But if it happens again... I'm not sure if she will wake up again." At the absentminded expression on Ursa's face, the doctor reached her shoulder with a firm grip. "Have faith, Ursa. Your daughter counts on you."

The doctor left, leaving Ursa alone with her thoughts.

Azula was soundly asleep by the time Ursa sat on the chair, which she had claimed as hers during those endless hours watching her daughter sleep.

As hours went on, Ursa dozed off. The doctor came back and noticed her patient's temperature had increased at some point, nearly high enough to cause a seizure. An assistant was called immediately, and after an hour or two, the doctor told Ursa if Azula didn't wake by morning, they would be unable to do anything to help and that Azula was lucky he had come when he did, or she wouldn't have made it.

"She really is lucky," Ursa murmured, as the doctor left and she took her seat beside her daughter. Watching over her sleep once again.

Azula, to everyone's relief, woke up with the sun.

She was weaker than the night before, shivering even when she was wrapped in warm blankets, and the sun illuminated the room.

Ursa left her side when the doctor and the maids came. She went to her own chambers to change clothes and get some sleep. She had lunch with another noble lady and her young daughter, who was about Kiyi's age. She thought they would make good friends, and they arranged to introduce them when she returned from her trip with the Fire Lord.

As had happened the day before, one of the maids came to her, and Ursa rushed back to Azula's chambers. But what she found was even more surprising than what had happened yesterday. The bedroom was now full of people. The maids, the doctor and his assistant, a Fire Sage and an attorney, all of them stood still surrounding Azula's sickbed.

Her daughter was leaning on a handful of pillows placed against the headboard, too weak to stand her own weight but still trying to look as the dignified Princess she had always been. Ursa approached hesitantly.

"Azula? What is the meaning of this?"

It was the attorney who answered.

"In the light of her still unknown illness and other recent events, Princess Azula had summoned us as witnesses of her will. As a member of the royal family, she has deemed it necessary to make this of public knowledge."

Ursa's distraught expression didn't go unnoticed. She saw compassion in the eyes of the attorney when she passed beside him to sit by her daughter's side. It was Azula herself who answered the question in her mind.

"Do not fret, mother, it is a preventive measure if worse comes to worst." They locked gazes for a moment. A million words passed between them and, when Azula looked away, Ursa felt a twinge of fear.

Ursa leaned closer to the bed, close enough to stroke her daughter's hair—she had always loved her hair—and softly asked. "How did you get this sick, my child? How come? I still don't understand."

Azula didn't flinch away. Instead, she answered in the same measured tone. "You know very well what caused my illness, mother."

Ursa stiffened, subtly enough not to drag attention to herself, and then she listened.

The Fire Sage, who also acted as scribe, wrote down her every word. Azula—given the short time she'd had—had thought wisely on the hows and whos. Of course, most of her heritage as a Princess of the Fire Nation would go to her family, belongings, properties, hers by right, and a stipend for life from her personal fortune to Sokka and their daughter. Her niece was named, as well, jewels and books for the young Crown Princess. Her sister, her brother's wife, her husband's sister, the Fire Lord, her closest friends, and even maids were named, all part of the Princess' will, but her mother.

Before Ursa could speak, Azula resumed her speaking.

"It is my wish to receive the funeral rituals of the Fire Nation. My body will burn in the sacred fire as tradition dictates, here in the Fire Nation Palace that once was my home," she raised a jerky hand to the blue betrothal necklace Sokka had carved for her years ago. It felt as if it had been in another life. She wondered where he would be. If she would ever see him again.

When it was apparent Azula had finished, Ursa raised her voice in a hesitant question. Azula dropped her hand and kept going, she wasn't finished yet.

"Afterwards, you will provide my husband with a copy of this document. Aware him I wish my ashes to be spread in the South Pole, as it is traditional in his homeland."

When it was apparent Azula had finished, Ursa raised her voice in a hesitant question. "My daughter," she started. "Is it you have forgotten about your mother? You've named most of your loved ones already. Did I do something to fall out of your grace? Or is it you still resent me, after all this time?"

Ursa waited, patiently analyzing Azula's reaction. To her satisfaction, she met her expectant eyes and responded.

"Believe me mother. You will get more than you deserve." She raised her chin, her hoarse voice long gone. "For my mother, I have prepared something special myself," Azula didn't tear her gaze apart, challenging. "My chambers will pass to her. She will have full control over the fate of my wing of the palace. If she wants to turn it into a ballroom or make it her own resting place, it will be fine with me. I know she always felt attached to this place. Even before my illness. It will be hers as long as she stays away from my family."

"Azula! Do you realize what you are saying!" Ursa exclaimed.

Azula didn't stop. "I also want her to have two special chests stored by her garden, where she receives her visitors, they are in her gardening storage." She spoke matter-of-factly. Her words took more effort than she had anticipated, she didn’t complain. "Among the contents of the chests, you will find a warranty deed of the quality of your ingredients, mother, as well as a receipt in your name and promissory notes belonging to many of the people you have given money to.” Ursa saw confusion take over the maids' expressions. The Sage and the Attorney exchange a glance, and the doctor only frowned, puzzled. Azula ignored them all. “They contain enough ingredients to prepare dozens of concoctions, the ones you are famous for. I made sure to supply you with just the very best. You will be able to provide months worth of scents, contraceptives, medicine… even poison."

This time, Ursa didn't need to see her surroundings to know everyone had gone dead silent, finally realizing what they were witnessing.

Even the scribe had stopped writing. Stunned.

"Have you got any idea of what you are implying, Azula? Whatever you are scheming against me, I deny it. How could you think such things of your own mother? Listen to yourself, you are delusional! I have cared for you all this time! Even back then when you brought your child to this world!"

Azula's hard look made her feel defensive. Her eyes reminded her so much to another, to the man who she had called husband once.

"Am I even implying something, mother? I am no coward, and I'm certainly not afraid of accusing you directly. You, Ursa, have been poisoning me, your own daughter, for months. You induced an early birthing and then took advantage of it to make my illness look as a result of it. Oh, and you have been accumulating considerable capital through usury, but that’s not her nor ther right now.”

Before anyone could utter another sound, Azula started again.

“Isn't it curious how nobody could guess what was wrong with me? How could they, when they didn't know what they were dealing with? You made sure I was treated for a post-pregnancy fever, not poisoning. And you have a history with them, mother. Have you forgotten your last day in the Palace, all those years ago?"

Ursa had recoiled from her daughter. Lips parted and a deep frown soured her regal, and still beautiful features. The damage had been done, and now she could do one thing only.

"Dismissed! All of you. Princess Azula is delusional. Her fever is provoking this. I will look after her from now on." All of the people in the room remained still, startled from the things they had just heard. Ursa couldn't put up with this right now. "Didn't you listen? You are dismissed! Get out! NOW!"

Everyone left in haste. Utterly aghast for the sudden accusation

Ursa glanced back at Azula, who didn't shy away, trying to look as unyielding as she could.

"You have no proof, Azula. Nobody will believe in the words of a woman whose rationality has been affected by fevers."

"Perhaps you are right. But I don't need everyone to believe me, for I know the one person that matters the most will. And you know he will not buy your lies."

Ursa felt her heart pounding inside her. Blood drained from her face.

"What?" she uttered in a small voice. Azula smirked.

"Turns out, you're a better liar than I could ever be." A shiver ran down her spine, leaving her dizzy, but her mind was clearer than ever. "You somehow fooled us all, even that blind Earthbender. Even me" Azula took a deep breath. "For years you've been planning how to get rid of me. At first, I thought you considered me a threat to my brother's throne or that I was scheming his doom. And I was stupid enough to try to get on your good side. Sokka told me how caring and motherly you were toward everybody, that you just didn't know how to

approach me. But, for some reason, I felt the more I tried the more you pushed me away. And it only worsened when I married Sokka" Ursa was now looking at her with dread. A hand covering her mouth. "You were always too cold, too distant. I really convinced myself that I was the problem.”

"Azula, I-"

"I told Sokka, '' Azula said. Cutting her off. "That's why we left for the Soth Pole. He knew I needed time away from everything. He was right. It did me good to be away from it all,” she chuckled lightly. "I told Sokka, '' Azula said. Cutting her off. "That's why we left for the Soth Pole. He knew I needed time away from everything. He was right. It did me good to be away from it all,” she chuckled lightly. She recalled the feeling of her daughter clad safely in her arms, looking at her with her bright golden-like eyes. She remembered Sokka's loving eyes when she told him the news back then in the South. His joyful smile had made her heart flutter in bliss when he realized they were going to be parents. His utter excitement had appeased her own fears to the point she wound up keen to meet their child, too.

“But then,” Azula spoke after a while, “I let Zuzu and Kiyi talk me into visiting you. They told me you had been asking about me a lot. And I accepted to come because I wanted my child to be born here. Selfish, I know, but Sokka agreed and promised to be by my side at every moment." Her shoulders slumped, tiredness taking over her. She felt exhausted already. However, she strengthened herself and hardened her voice. "And now you have forced him into leaving me. He took my baby with him and, even if it pains me, I know it was the right thing to do."

"I didn't force him into anything, Azula. I don't know what you are talking about." Her voice one pitch higher than normal.

"You didn't, huh? Let me get this straight for you. You poisoned me because you wanted me dead. Because you are jealous, mother."

Ursa didn't reply. They hold a long, tense gaze before Ursa let out a nervous laugh.

"Oh, child. You've lost every sense of reality."

"Have I? Didn't you steal hair and blood from me to create a poison specifically for me that conveniently had no cure? Didn't you recommend herbs and teas during my pregnancy to ease birthing, even though you forgot to mention they could cause miscarriage or induce early birthing? Didn't you wait until my health was at my lowest to spill poison into my medicine and blame it on my condition? Or maybe did you forget you grew close to Sokka back then when your husband died and tried to make a move on him right after his memorial, only for him to ask you for your blessing to marry me the very next day?” Azula's death stare and his blunt words struck her to the core, as hard as lightning.

"H-how do you know that?" Ursa blurted out, unsure.

"He told me," Azula said, shrugging. "By the time that happened, if I recall correctly, I was already suspicious. Even if I didn't want to, I was. I should have listened to my guts back then, but I wanted you to love me, mother. That's what I always wanted. But the moment I stood between what you desired and you, you tried to kill me".

Silence filled the room. Azula let her words sink in. She knew her mother was thinking about that day, too. Right after Noren died, Ursa was devastated. She mourned his death the proper amount of time, keeping a grieving widow’s facade all along, but she was already planning her next step, how she would get him. What she never considered, though, was that Azula would stand in her way, bewitching him, and she expected Sokka to fall for her, too, even less.

The memorial of the first year of her husband's death arrived, and she was determined to make something happen. Ursa had waited for years, and it was time to say the words she had been keeping to herself, at last. A few drinks of the strongest liquor she could get were enough to encourage her. She knew she wasn't drunk, but the flash of pain his rejection gave her made her wish she had been. Where his voice once had been pleasant and inviting, now was cold and firm: he made it clear he didn't feel the same way.

She got back to her chambers, ablaze with anger.

The liquor didn't last nearly enough for her liking, but that allowed her to keep her mind clear. Instead of drowning her misery in alcohol, she plotted a new scheme in the dark of a night of an early Fire Nation autumn.

The following morning, her sourness hadn't gone completely. For her youngest, Kiyi, her attitude seemed understandable, for she thought her mother was mourning Noren, too. Ursa had been avoiding everyone all morning, staying in her chambers with her daughter as her only companion.

By the time she was getting ready for dinner, though, he came to her. She felt a glimmer of hope when she saw him there, but it died as soon as he spoke. Sokka told her his intentions, pointing out they would leave before dawn, and he wanted her to be the first to know.

As promised, they left before sunrise, but Ursa wasn't there to see them go. A couple of months later, her son and daughter travelled to the South Pole for their wedding. They asked her to come as well, but she shook them off, saying she had caught some sort of seasonal virus.

The day she heard the news, she went murderous. She stayed up for days, plotting plan after plan and lie after lie until she came up with something. She needed to have them back in the palace, so she started her ploy. Playing the caring mother wasn't difficult. She inquired after her daughter pretty often, making sure they noticed her worried frown, letting out a sigh here and there, and telling everyone how much she missed Azula and how sorry she was for not being by her side at the moment.

But Azula had found out, and she couldn’t allow it. She needed to act fast.

"You have no proof, Azula. Only a bunch of events you think are connected, and your word." Ursa carefully rose as if challenging her daughter to do something. "Who are they going to believe? The Fire Lord's mother, who only ever tries to keep her family together? Or her sick, mad sister?"

"I'm not mad. And I told you, I don't need everyone to believe me. Just him." Azula moved upwards a little, tiring herself in the process. "As for no proof? Remember the chests I mentioned before? I had been wary of you for a very long time. It couldn't be a coincidence I presented the first symptoms right after I took your tea. I had a guard follow you; he saw you handing gold to some currier. A few extra coins and he spilt the beans. He said he was going to fetch some ingredients for you, many of them quite rare and expensive. I felt paranoid at the time, so I had them intercepted before they could reach you. I wanted to show you the contents of the chests myself, to see your reaction, and perhaps expose you right then and there. But I felt worse with each passing day. And when I woke up that morning, I knew I didn't have that much time. So I went to your garden, to find out if I was wrong to believe you were hiding secrets from us. Everyone knows you sell all kinds of concoctions to anyone willing to pay. I recalled seeing you go in and out from that place. I went through your gardening stuff, and what I found almost made me vomit.”

Ursa clenched fists, knowing full well she was referring to the dozens of handkerchiefs stained with Azula’s blood. The one’s she thought she’d been keeping locked safe. Constant nose bleeds and bloody bruises were her first symptom. Ursa administered the doses just the right amount to make sure Azula’s health would drop little by little, buying herself time to collect the rest of the ingredients she needed. Her plans had been working smoothly and now…

When she thought of Sokka her heart raced. She felt her world crumble around her just thinking about what he would say, how he would look at her if he discovered the truth.

If he chose to believe in Azula’s words…

She stopped herself, now wasn’t the moment to fret. She focussed her attention on Azula again.

"Let's stop playing, shall we? It’s your word against mine…"

“In that, you are mistaken” Azula breathed in and out with difficulty, it was getting harder and harder to speak. “The guard who saw you can confirm my words. And I just had a bunch of other people listen to me blaming you. Even if you manage to prove yourself innocent, there will be rumours, and Sokka will learn of this sooner or later.”

“You didn’t have time to sign the document, Azula. It's worth nothing” Ursa spat.

“Say what you say, Ursa. Whether they decide to make it valid or not, it does not matter. The damage is done” A coughing fit took over her, leaving her dizzy afterwards. “Zuko will make sure to fulfill my last will, I know it, if not for me, for Sokka and our daughter.” Her voice was hoarse, just above a whisper. Ursa smiled.

“Zuko will never doubt his own mother. All I need is to have him on my side, I don’t care about what everyone else might think”

“Not even my husband?” Azula raised her brow, sarcastically. “My brother might buy your lies, maybe even the nation, but not Sokka, never him.”

Ursa swallowed hard, glaring daggers at her. She felt years of accumulated rage flooding her senses, pushing her boundaries until she finally snapped.

“You should have died weeks ago,” she hissed, seeing red. “Your doctor was right. Sokka’s damn sister is good, you owe her your life. You owe your life to the person who despises you the most, isn’t that ironic?” Ursa laughed humorlessly. “The same woman you tried to kill once, saved you because she’s pitied you; because she’s better than you” she got closer to the side of the bed, facing Azula directly. “You don’t deserve that. You don’t deserve him.”

“And you do?” Ursa ignored her,

“I will do anything it takes to help him realize his mistake. Marrying you was only that, a mistake. I’m here to open his eyes to the truth, he will finally see me.”

“No, he won’t,” said Azula bluntly. “The only thing he will see is what he already suspected. He will see you as the desperate, pathetic woman you have become” another fit of coughing wracked her, Azula fell on her side, holding her weight with her elbow.

Ursa saw her struggle to regain air. Azula had a hand pressed against her chest and her eyes were closed tightly, leaning over her left side. Ursa didn’t move, she just stood there until her daughter’s breath stabilized. Her regal posture was long gone, and her pale face betrayed her true state, she was about to lose consciousness yet again. Ursa fought a smile.

“Look at you,” she said in a condescending tone. “You call me pathetic, but you can even breathe, let alone firebend” every word was full of venom, now, no more pretending. “You have relied on your fire for too long. You bewitched Sokka with it, the same way you did with your father. You, a prodigy, are nothing without your fire, Azula. And I will not allow you to do more damage to the ones I love with it, I give you my word. On my honour.”

Azula wanted to answer, to say something and make her leave, but before she had the chance, Ursa lifted a hand. “Save your breath, child. If you speak again you may fall unconscious any time, and I cannot say whether you’ll awake or not the next time”. Ursa turned away and left the room, her mind set on the next plan, getting rid of the evidence.

Azula watched her go. A sense of relief washed over her. It didn’t matter what happened, she had done her part, now it was all up to Sokka.

The relief she felt was replaced with another shiver, and she knew her mother was right. She felt her eyelids heavy, and her vision was blurry, clear signs that she would soon drip into unconsciousness. She thought of Sokka, of her child. She wondered if he was thinking of her, if they were taking care of her baby. With the last of her strength, she uttered softly “Come back, Sokka.”

And she drifted into the darkness.

#Sokkla Gift Exchange #sokka x azula #sokkla #atla #i really am sorry #i feel incredibly bad :c #i apologize for the late entry #i didn't mean to #did i say how sorry i am?

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keltonwrites · 3 years ago

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I'm not sure if that's a good thing

“Well you’re definitely the first.” This past week, we screened-in the eastern facing porch on the side of the cabin. The porch slopes to the South, with the brick-on-dirt floor crumbling in that direction as well until it reaches uneven slabs of stone acting as steps down to the “yard” below. A mixed material retaining wall wraps beneath the steps to the south facing garage, holding up one corner of the narrow deck on the front of the house. The deck, in the heat of a high altitude summer, droops off the house like it’s daydreaming about the winter snow’s embrace. It’s safe to sit on, though I would not recommend leaning on the railing.

The side porch takes the brunt of the wind. Our wooden rocking chairs have been rocked some 20 feet into the yard more than once in the two months we lived here. In the myriad of threats we heard about the weather, most people included the wind. We all know how I feel about this ongoing weather intimidation tactic. I asked, “what speed are the gusts?” “Oh, they get up to 70 miles per hour on some days.” This was the first quantifiable piece of weather information someone had offered — an actual number we could react to with data and our historical personal experiences of various weather events. And our reaction was: uhhhh…. OK???? Look, I get it. No one’s preaching the skin benefits of -20 degree wind gusts at 70 mph, building snow drifts against your house in the span of minutes that Cooper could die in. I am not going to pretend that’s pleasant. But 70 mph? Any wind I’ve driven faster than does not intimidate me. I used to rally the horses at 12 years old in winds over 70mph to get them in the barn before the latest tornado whipped through. I helped shutter the resort in the BVI as the Category 5 hurricane rolled in. Even in Topanga, 70 mile per hour gusts were not uncommon in Santa Ana events. We had our single pane windows shatter more than once from debris in the wind. We taped cardboard up and went to sleep. That “70 mph” was all I needed to hear to confirm our next project: we were going to build a catio for these cats, and we were going to do it on the pre-existing porch structure to save time and money. We spent a week framing out the structure. We had to carve into the logs of the house to embed the wood supports for the framing.

And from there, every piece of wood was custom carved and cut to fit around the existing timber supports. The existing porch was so wildly uneven that there are gaps between each piece of old wood and the new framing. Our plan is to mix all the wood chips from the project with mortar/chinking and stuff the gaps — a good solution for the log cabin look. We built a plywood pony wall up to 28 inches from the interior of the porch, which gives a height of ~4-5ft from the exterior ground below. It’s capped with a 2x6” railing for even the fluffiest of cats to find a perch. The exterior will be wrapped with corrugated metal that we’ll quick-age to match the metal that wraps the bottom of the cabin. On the interior of the porch, we’ll use shiplap to hide the framing.

The screens themselves can withstand winds up to 120 mph, but to-be-determined if they can hold the weight of a growing maniac cat who has already tried to climb them. In the event the screens succumb to cat (or wind or snow or neighbor judgment) we’ll reinforce with metal mesh. We’re going to maintain this screen porch regardless of what the screen is. We had the pleasure of running into one of our more industrious neighbors the other day, and Ben asked him, “hey we’re building a screen porch. Is this a terrible idea?” He laughed. “Well you’re definitely the first.” But he liked it. Great way to diminish wind into the house. Simple way to regulate the temperature with massive south-facing windows. And indeed a practical outdoor safe haven for cats in predator territory. Just because you’re the first doesn’t mean you’re foolish — just foolhardy. There’s plenty of that here. This town has the typical mountain town’s truncated version of a colonizers’ history: “established 1881.” But it was plenty established prior to that by the Uncompahgre Band of the Ute Nation, removed by the U.S. Army on September 7, 1881, nearly 140 years ago. The government relocated the Uncompahgre Ute People to Utah, and one year after the Ute were forcibly removed from their ancestral land, San Miguel County split off from Ouray County and was made its own political subdivision in the newly-formed State of Colorado. In 1879, the ore-laden valley already had 50 people living in it, with a new narrow gauge railway only 2 miles away. By 1885, it was a town of 200 people. There was a hotel, a couple saloons, a pool hall. Winters were treacherous; the valley was and is prone to avalanches. But where there’s gold, there’s gumption. The power needed to run the stamp mill to process ore drove innovation. Timber was scarce at such high elevations, so a wood powered steam mill wouldn’t cut it. But the San Miguel River just a few miles down from the mine looked promising. Thus began the development and construction of the Ames Hydroelectric Generating Plant. It was a hit. In fact, it was so successful that the Ames Plant led to the adoption of alternating currents at Niagara Falls and eventually to being adopted worldwide as a viable power solution. The plant remains, but the gold rush obviously didn’t. By 1940, the U.S. Census declared this little town I call home as tied for the lowest population in the country: 2 people. By 1960, it was one of four incorporated towns in the U.S. with no residents. But the joke was on the Census — the town’s single resident was just out of town the day the census came through. 1960 population: 1. By 1980 the population grew to 38, 69 in 1990, and about 180 now. (Plus 51 dogs according to the town’s website.) With modern amenities, it’s easier to be here. Studded snow tires, satellite internet, solar panels, instant coffee. No matter the hardships, there’s the reality of the present. In the 1880s, as the town boomed, the Ouray Times declared, “it will be at no distant day a far more pretentious town than it is now.” That day hasn’t exactly arrived, but I guess it depends on what you consider pretentious. I don’t think the town claims any airs of excellence beyond what’s true. In fact, the town hardly claims anything at all. There’s no sign indicating it’s even here. There’s just the old side and the new side. The new side, the Eastern half, was drawn out in the early 1990s, some 100 years later, and is separated from the Old Town by an avalanche zone—preserved open space for hiking in the summer, preserved open space for surviving in the winter. The town forbids short-term rentals, no one has a fence, dogs roam free, and all the houses have that cabin look to them. A boulder nests in a grove near a trailhead in the center of town with a plaque paying respect to the Utes who called this valley home. There’s no industry here. No businesses allowed. If you want a $7 latte, you can drive the 14 miles required to get it, assuming there’s not an avalanche blocking your path. You can, however, buy a pink lemonade in a

solo cup at the permanent lemonade stand run by the local feral child mafia. Crystals (rocks) can be purchased for an additional cost. We bought one, hoping to buy favor at the same time. The town plan has a few guiding principles, and it’s all in the name of preservation. We must preserve: 1 - the quiet atmosphere 2 - the rustic character 3 - the natural setting

And finally: 4 - protect the health and wellbeing of the people here No snowmobiles, no ATVs, no drones. In fact, the only sign of the outside world here are the passers-through. When you take the dirt road through town to the end, you enter National Forest, and you can hike over the pass saddle at nearly 12,000 feet before descending down the other side into Silverton. The pass road climbs rutted through an aspen forest before scaling across a scree field and then lurching over to the other side. Every day, it seems like 30 or so Texans and Arizonans in lifted and loud Jeeps with unused mods climb over this mountain in the comfort of their air conditioning, simply to drive down the other side. You could hike it, ride it, run it, and ski it, but they don’t. They rev their engines, kicking up dust in a town of feral children and roaming dogs, staring at us instead of waving. I’ve lived here for two months and look how salty I am. I’ll fit in yet. But today, there is a temperature that whispers of perfect trails and the dwindling of ogglers driving 35 in a 15. It’s already snowed in the mountains we see from our kitchen. Today, like a dedication to the Septembers of our youth, you can feel a chill in the air. A temperature akin to pencils and sweaters and reinventing yourself. A temperature that doesn’t exactly sing “screen porch” but could if you had the right slippers on. That’s what I did this morning: put my slippers on and sat there in the cool mountain morning air, thinking about the cemetery behind our house, about the Ute tribe, about the miners, about the mailman who died on Christmas in 1875 on the pass, about the 5 people who died in avalanches here just last year, about the people in their cars on their phones driving through, and all the people who’s very first question to us was, “so are you gonna live here part-time or full-time?” Maybe it will be a hard place to live. But at least we’ll have a screen porch.

Every week I'm writing about moving to log cabin in a small town at 10,000 feet. Subscribe here for free: tinyletter.com/keltonwrites

#colorado #small town life #home renovation #amwriting #creative writing #newsletter #a little bit better

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inventors-fair · 4 years ago

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“Surprise Me” commentary: Return to Innocence

Look, I’m not going to lie to you (unless it’s convenient for me or unless you’re about to find the body). Every time we open up a contest, we have preconceived notions about what people will send in and the kind of entries that we want to have. Every judge, all the time, even the ones I’m speaking for who disagree with me and my megalomania.

For this particular contest? I wanted to get rid of that entirely. I didn’t want to experience what I thought would be surprising, because that destroys that notion entirely, doesn’t it? I wanted something new.

I’d say that for most of you, that came across pretty well. I particularly enjoyed the return to custom mechanics, even if some of them... Well, let’s just talk about them, shall we?

@abzanhero — Simikiel, Due Vengeance

What I like: Well, it certainly feels like a WBR angel in the vein of its predecessors. The RW activation combined with the black drain does feel coherent in a way that I enjoy. Stats are good, wording’s fine. I think that this card is interesting because people will be looking for a way to combo out with this even though land sacrifice like Goblin Trenches will do just fine when the activated ability doesn’t pan out. Desolation (italicize!) is an interesting reverse-Morbid in a way.

What we can improve: I’m not personally invested in this card. I see that you made this for a custom set, but this feels entirely like a Commander card, and reactive abilities might not be what Commanders want. Yes, sometimes it’s about control, and I can see where you’re coming from. It might be the fact that because it’s a control-y card it makes it hard to want to build around as a commander. If you’re intending this for drafting and limited? Well, that’s another story, and I feel I’d have to see the context of the set. Desolation is...weird. There would have to be a lot of noncreature destruction for that, and I don’t exactly know how you’d make that happen without, well, a constructed environment. The card feels at odds with itself.

Baked Beans — Mutagenic Slime

What I like: Firstly, uh, sorry about that namesake? If you have a name you’d rather go by, then you’re free to specify in your submissions. Secondly, there’s a lot to love about this card. It does pretty much everything you would want out of a UG ooze for sure. I think it’s interesting how you retained the mana costs of the card and abilities with color weight.

What we can improve: In short, I got very confused by this card. After some discussion in the modhouse, I was surprised to learn that this actually works fairly well, considering the fact that copy effects are notorious for being frustrating to template correctly, and Mutavault-animation-copying is a whole other weird kettle of fish. I suppose that confusion is my fault, and I initially judged this card too harshly. I honestly don’t know if it needs the first ability, considering holy cow that’s powerful, but the rest of it, honestly? Not as egregious as I thought. I guess this is one of those things where my personal confusion initially got in the way — a lesson for me.

@chungus-supreme — Myriad Sliver

What I like: Well, it’s easy to see where you started and what you like. I think that Slivers were a great first tribe for a lot of people. A callback to the MH Slivers is pretty cool.

What we can improve: There’re a lot of strategies that could possibly use this card, but it feels immensely “win-more” when it comes to Slivers already. Why would this card need to exist? What interactions would it have that Slivers don’t already have with each other and with weird tribal cards? Someone would be happy with this card, but it wouldn’t be Sliver players. Minor note on presentation, too? Reminder text should be italicized following the rules, but I understand limitations on card creators. The lack of flavor text and context is just a little too weird. What possible circumstances could lead the Slivers to learning that they were every creature type? Frankly, what’s the story point? There’s a massive clash between flavor identity and reasonable storytelling.

@corporalotherbear — Pleasure in Pain

What I like: Alternate win-cons are always a nice addition to the game. I can see the sadistic side of black and the “at any cost” combo style that this card seeks to emulate. Personally, too, I’m a fan of conflicting rules text like the trigger and the static on this card. A new player might think they don’t work, and well, that’s just how new players work. And this card isn’t for them, it’s definitely for advanced Johnny players.

What we can improve: I still don’t exactly know how to make this card work. There don’t seem to be that many combos that could work well with it considering the mana cost. Ad Nauseam already does what it does, so that’s something, but I mean, I’d like to see what deck you would make with this card first because frankly, I don’t see it. Paying life doesn’t work if you don’t have life to pay, losing life is hard as heck, the whole shebang. Damage could work? Yeah, either I’m really dumb, or I don’t see the obvious exploitative combo you were envisioning outside of Ad Nauseam.

@dabudder — Perplexing Pact

What I like: Nice flavor, I think. I don’t know much about Davriel but I can totally see how it works out. It’s appropriately mythic considering how people would treat combat damage and the like, so that’s all well and good. Props for the reminder text, and for what I think is a fairly appropriate use of hybrid.

What we can improve: Where would this card exist? What kind of set would it belong to? I can’t contextualize it outside of just ‘a custom card for custom card’s sake’ and that feels frustrating to me. Ravnica mythic, perhaps? Sure, but what would the rest of the set look like? Could there be two alternate win-con effects i the same set? It’s actually kinda weird that the Guilds block had five across three sets, but still, they were different enough. I also feel that this is pretty easy to exploit with cards like the Pacts, turning this into a four-mana “at the beginning of your upkeep you win the game” effect. Not sure how I feel about that.

@deafeningsandwichpeach — Roaring Stompodon

What I like: This card was almost a runner-up! It’s a fantastic and powerful use of hybrid, it feels like a dinosaur, it’s fast and furious and chompy, and the only real questionable part is the redness of it. Could red get ETB fight like this, is the question? I feel that for this card in the right set that it honestly wouldn’t be too bad. I also feel that that’s more my heart than my head thinking here. I’m a weird control player who also happens to love fast and furious dinosaurs, what can I say.

What we can improve: Hm. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I’m worried. If you take off the “may” on the fight then it’s a little better, but whoo boy, imagining this in RDW with a slightly higher curve than usual? There’s something scary about that. I feel that erring on the side of caution would be best here. As a custom card I love it. I don’t know how printable it would be. Also, flavor text is good but retreading old ground. Consider something sillier, perhaps? Sillier or scarier, either or.

@deg99 — Azor I, Parun

What I like: Yup, it’s a callback to the quintessential Azorius namesake. With the mana cost like that, I can tell that you were shooting for a significant and austere commander for the guild, someone who requires many proper resources.

What we can improve: The problem with a card being quintessential is that everything that it’s doing has been done before. This card does not surprise me in the least. The fact that Azor creates The Immortal Sun on this card is about as expected as can be. Detaining is fine, and the draw is fine, but that’s it; they’re retreading expected ground. The mana cost doesn’t mechanically need the color weight, and as a custom Commander, this card just doesn’t seem fun. I would rather have seen you attempt to make something from the ground-up that was new rather than submit an old design that hasn’t been changed since inception.

@evscfa1 — Scales of Pitiless Justice

What I like: Pretty metal name, pretty rad.

What we can improve: Let’s...slow down a second.

There doesn’t seem to be a reason for the mana cost to be weighted like that. Without any context for the world, set or flavor, it feels arbitrary.

Speaking of arbitrary, why does this need to have both enchantment and artifact subtypes? I don’t understand how that helps mechanically.

This card does not need indestructible OR shroud. Full stop. “Bypassing any interaction” is not the same as “difficult to remove.”

Mana burn was removed from the game for a reason. It simply is not fun.

The “if” ability should be a trigger: “Whenever a player draw a card [etc], that player discards that card unless they pay 2 life.”

The last ability should say “casts” instead of “would cast.”

And in the end, I understand your frustrations with green and blue that you might see in your personal playgroup or whatever, and I understand what might be happening in standard and all the junk with that. Godmodding isn’t the answer. This contest was about seeing more of what you love, not destroying what you hate. In that context this card is antithetical to the approach we were hoping for. I would strongly consider putting love into cards that you submit rather than trying to force the pendulum in another direction.

@fractured-infinity — Sygg, Heir to Mornigtide // Sygg of the Razorfin

What I like: Sygg! Okay, so this is a... I’m envisioning this as a potential Esper DFC mer-legend in a limited return to Lorwyn, which is — aight? Shoot, the thing is, I love each side as they are. With a couple exceptions. I will say that I was both surprised and delighted to see a mythic Syggy-boy.

What we can improve: You have three set-unique abilities on a single DFC, and my friend, that’s confusing as heck. Daybreak and Moonrise just don’t seem like great mechanics, because if you need one and not the other, and you’re stuck on certain places, how are you gonna turn it? If they changed the seasons upon casting, that would be cool, right? What about that? I would maybe keep Aurora or something, and change your set’s mechanics (are you making one?) so that sorcery effects can change whether or not it’s Sunny or Moony on Lorwyn. Keep this idea, just narrow it down. A LOT.

Small note: “MorNINGtide.” Double-check your spelling. I’ve made that mistake once or a hundred times.

@ghost31415926535 — Piece of Mind

What I like: Well, it’s one way for white to interact with graveyards and the like. My favorite part of this is the flavor text. I don’t know much about Chulane but I do like the prospect of this teller having to forget a painful story from the past.

What we can improve: The first ability doesn’t get rid of replacement effects like Leyline of the Void and Rest in Peace. Honestly, I think for the sake of all custom designers, graveyard hate effect shouldn’t be hated out themselves. It becomes a mechanical arms race. That last ability, though... Nope. Nooooope. That’s insane. Mono-white draw so many cards? Four mana? Even as a one-time effect it’s absolutely bonkers and out of pie. UW mill means that you can draw three new hands by the time this is activated. And, for this contest, I can’t say that I was entirely surprised by this card. It’s doing what so many custom card designers have done before.

@gollumni — Ihren, Master of the Deep

What I like: This feels like one of those cards where it makes sense in-world and then when you put it on a card it’s like “oh, my goodness, is that the story we’re telling?” And I like that aspect! I’m imagining a happy Giant wrangling a squid the size of a bus and loving every second of it. I can say with certainty that I didn’t expect “tentacle farmer archetype” in these submissions.

What we can improve: But it’s so, so much of a “win-more” again. You get sea monsters with your giants, and then giants with your sea monsters? To what end? What’s the point of casting all these massive creatures that require you to have more massive creatures, when just the massive creatures alone could win you the game? Quest for Ula’s Temple was awesome because for one mana you were eventually able to summon the giant monsters. This card, well, it’s big for big’s sake.

@haru-n-harkel — Ozalii, Apex of Evolution

What I like: I can fully say that I didn’t expect a mutate card for this contest. Did people like mutate? I can tell one of you did! Five-color true mutate legend, yeah, that’s a niche that could have used a spot. Y’know what, props, credit where credit’s due. I like the concept.

What we can improve: I feel that the abilities should say “this creature” instead of the name, right? Isn’t that how all mutate cards work? This may just be me being lukewarm on mutate for this whole thing, honestly. Past that, I understand that this card is good, but Mutate was just so parasitic. I don’t know, this may be one of those unfortunate biases. So don’t take this the wrong way, and please do put this in a custom Mutate-filled cube if you have it.

@ignorantturtlegaming — O’Jaru, Kavu Arisen

What I like: You and Kavu. Meme all I want, but yep, that’s a kind of gaming love I can get behind. It’s a big creature, it’s a beast, it’s powerful, it’s got a strong cost, and Panharmonicon on a creature? Oh lord. OH LORD. This would be an intensely powerful commander for that alone.

What we can improve: ...except for the fact that it triggers itself. It’ll be on the battlefield, so, well, you’ll have to return four other creatures if you want this thing to stick. Hate to say it, but that’s a massive drawback, so massive that I don’t know if it would really stick. However, this is an easy fix. All you need to do is change “If a permanent” to “If another permanent” in that first part. Solved!

@macaroni-and-squeez — The Breathing Past

What I like: I can absolutely commend you for trying something new. This feels like a card where a lot of background understanding is needed, and that’s not always a bad thing.

What we can improve: That doesn’t change the fact that I don’t understand the process behind this card’s creation. In short, I don’t know why sagas and creatures should be combined aside from the fact that it’s new, and that doesn’t feel like a great precedent. The card would have worked fine as a saga (ish) and actually great as a horror. But both makes it feel messy and unintuitive. What story is being told? I don’t know. What kind of character/incarnation is this legend? I still don’t know. Clarify, simplify, and revise.

@milkandraspberry — Importation étrangère

Silver-border is not the problem here. I don’t speak French. Was that the joke? What possible set would this card appear in, and why? I think based on this card alone, cards with non-English rules text are hereby not eligible for submission from this point forward. There may be a joke, but it wasn’t even explained in the submission, so I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do here. Google Translate? To what end? If the gist of the card is that it’s supposed to not be understood, then that’s a sign already that you should consider revising your idea. Most importantly, the judges can’t give you fair critique, and that’s not fair to you either.

@misterstingyjack — Slobad, Selfless Scrapper

What I like: Planeswalker iterations are always cool. Thank you for explaining the story to me, because I think that I vaguely remembered the name but couldn’t remember the context. And man, this is an interesting card. Red artifact/planeswalker matters planeswalker? It’s narrow, but shoot, it also feels appropriate for rare. I think I’m warming up to this kind of specific concept more than I was originally.

What we can improve: Still, he doesn’t exactly feel like a planeswalker and more like a new card type entirely. ... Maybe that isn’t a bad thing. Maybe this new design space could be way more interesting than I’m giving credit for. I would have to see what the environment looked like, because wow, this would have to be balanced properly, else we end up with War of the Spark Horizon Masters of Mirrodin broken. For wording: Second ability could just be ‘Create a _ for each walker you control’ and the last one honestly could just be “Move all loyalty counters from Slobad onto another target planeswalker you control.” A little more busted, but let’s be real, more flexible as well. Who says he has to give up his spark for a specific dude? Besides the story.

@naban-dean-of-irritation — Darksteel Experiment

What I like: Yeah, I can see the problem you’re trying to solve and how you’re trying to solve it. Gotta make something as unkillable as possible, right? It’s the “anything-proof-shield” on the playground of custom MTG design. Making it Darksteel is a great callback, and the flavor text is pretty fun so I’ll give you that.

What we can improve: I’ve played a lot of Magic, and I know that getting things killed can suck. But the game is one of interaction. There are answers to everything but you have to draw them. The card specifically and maybe this specific wording (if it works in the rules, I’ll have to lawyer it) might not have been made before, but the concept? It’s been around since Magic’s existence, to the first frustration of getting a Savannah Lions Lightning Bolt-ed. When the gameplay stops being a conversation, there is no longer gameplay. Trying to find answers to that shouldn’t be what we’re looking for.

@nicolbolas96 — Abyssal Pact

What I like: You know, Mr. Shiny actually made a vaguely-in-the-same-vein card that was almost going to be an example. Well, it involved sacrifice, anyway. But the point is, yeah, same kind of interesting design space. I love winning with no cards in a library, I’ll say that much. For a legendary enchantment, a “pact” is probably as appropriate as you can get without being an object or curse or specific story moment. Interesting flavor, too! Well-conceptualized.

What we can improve: My good fellow this card breaks the game in about a trillion different ways. Treasures become 40-80+ mana. Grimgrin becomes massive. Any card that says “Sacrifice X: Draw a card” becomes an instant and I think uninterruptable win, of which there are four in this card’s colors alone. If it was, like, “the first time” instead? Or something? I don’t know, there’s a LOT to take into consideration, but the gist is: this card is a broken infinite combo waiting to happen. Maybe you intended that. If that’s the case, then shame on you but I respect it. Sort of.

@nine-effing-hells — Evolutionary Explosion

What I like: This was so close to being a winner if it wasn’t really, REALLY darn too powerful. If you have an army of 1/1 tokens, this card becomes incrementally more amazing. Is that a bad thing? I mean, I love the concept, I love the math, I love that you’re doing new things with how to make a cool mythic Overrun sorcery.

What we can improve: But we gotta compare to cards like Wild Onslaught, which is eight mana for what this card can do for sometimes half that cost. It really can just make the late game a little too ridiculous. I wish I could love it more, and I think that as an uncommon that targets a single creature it can be an amazing powerful blowout. This? Too much for a variable X cost.

Also, I sent a PM tp the Denver museum and they’re checking with their team for the proper artist credit and once they respond in a few days I’m gonna smack ya for improper artist credit. (Not really that last part, but I did message out of curiosity. That mural is dope.)

@ouroboros-breaker — Tibalt, Rakdos Insurgent

What I like: Rakdos Tibalt has been something people have been asking for for a while now, and as a fan, I hope that we can see more of him in the future. I can see that you liked the character’s chaotic nature and the way that he engages with you, plus the double-edged sword aspects of it all. There’s a lot of cleverness behind your process.

What we can improve: That doesn’t change the fact that the second and third abilities are reeeeally pushing what’s reasonable for an acceptable risk. Yeah, it’s neat for there to be some risk involved, but the possibility of -3 and losing three permanents is way too rough. Rakdos at least absolutely saved himself during coin flips and whatnot. The last ability, the emblem? I wish I liked it more. I feel that it could have been a -5 for something like a Hellrider effect: “whenever a creature you control attacks, it deals 1 damage to any target” or something. Then, maybe there could have been tokens made, like Tibalt’s WAR card, and, well, the boy might be more playable. I feel that symmetrical emblems aren’t great to have. In short, don’t be afraid to make cards, especially planeswalkers, a couple degrees more helpful.

@partlycloudy-partlyfuckoff — Progeny of Immolation

What I like: I think that Emerge was a fantastic mechanic, and I’m happy to see it again. Eldrazi Hellion is a great creature type combo, and as a fan of Eldritch Moon this card is hitting some nice parts for me.

What we can improve: The big challenge is whether or not it’s okay for this card to effectively deal up to 11 colorless damage in something like limited. If you’re running a red deck, you can get this out early and have a fine enough red source in-pie, but even if you’re running something like a blue-white control deck you can ramp up to eleven mana and halve someone’s life total. I’ll say that yes, the Eldrazi all from EM all could be cast like this, but the off-color effects were never quite pushed to eleven damage. I fear development issues. Keep in mind what may or may not be appropriate for your costs.

@real-aspen-hours — Instant Pot Chicken and Rice

What I like: This is at its core an affordable, easy, nutritious meal that provides a fair amount of food for relatively cheap cost. Instant rice and chicken breasts aren’t hard to come by, and another great part of this meal is the fact that it’s fairly universal. If someone’s vegetarian, you don’t have great options, but that’s not gonna come up as much as long as you have people who understand what it means to eat affordable. The Instant Pot is a great addition to any kitchen as well.

What we can improve: Tomatoes are fantastic for flavor, but what else is there? I’m missing out on a lot of the herbs and spices that could turn this into a real meal. Adding additional liquid plus things like white onions, garlic, carrots, etc. would turn this from “edible” to “exquisite.” Consider thyme and basil, but also think about different flavors like Teriyaki or sriracha for more stand-out returns. I wonder how chicken chili would go? But that would be a fundamental shift, so that’s more conjecture than anything else.

As an aside, this did bring a smile to my face. However, I hate to say, this is a Magic: the Gathering blog, and I am not a cook. I have to ask that we stick to cards for the future. Still — this is our one and only consolation prize for doin’ your own thang.

@reaperfromtheabyss — Maelstrom Vale

What I like: Hnnnng cascade. This is one of those cards that I friggin’ love because I grew up on cascade, before I knew just how broken it was as a mechanic. I think that in limited and constructed, this card can be played in any deck, and I dunno how to feel about that at second glance. Five-color commander and casual play? Heck yes, this is so much fun. I love these kinds of cards.

What we can improve: Five mana giving practically any spell cascade is...busted, especially in limited. If I had had this last night at FNM, I would have swept so hard. 3-5 drops into multiple creatures and answers? Good lord. If it was 7 to activate, it would be balanced. As it is, might be too far. Small note: this flavor text would be 100% better if you didn’t have that silly attribution. Seriously, it was epic and cool and meaningful until the last part. Sometimes established things work well.

@rustyguacamole — Uth, the Impermeable

What I like: Self-mill with a cool white upside makes this card a welcome addition to some of the other Abzan reanimator builds. I like how you worked off of those to make an interesting fungal commander. I feel that it could even be part of a core set legend if it were mythic.

What we can improve: The “you may play cards from your graveyard” definitely needed a “this turn” at the end of it. And I mean, Yawgmoth’s Will remains an impossibly powerful card to this day. A repeatable version of that seems way too strong at first glance. You could do it at the end of someone’s turn too and then next turn fill that stuff back up. Also, for that reminder text... If you activate it twice in a turn, wouldn’t the second resolution then exile those cards if it already resolved once? That doesn’t feel great. I don’t know, I still don’t think that repeatable Will is a good idea. And small note, the biggest exilers, Leyleine of the Void and Rest in Peace, are replacement effects and would get around that first ability. It really, really, really isn’t a battle worth fighting.

@scavenger98 — Watched of Fanged Winds

What I like: “Wolf creatures you control have flying.” WHAT. I was kinda blown away by that when I first read it, I’ll be honest. Working with, uh, I suppose Bant wolves? Could make for some crazy stuff. The token-making isn’t impossible but it’s a work-around, and I think that I can think of a couple ways to get infinite wolves but they’re all crazy combos and aren’t really broken in any format. That’s not a bad thing! I do like combos when they’re hard to get off. Aura Shards/Lumengrid Sentinel + Ornithopter/Memnite + Watcher comes to mind. See, that sounds fun!

What we can improve: There’s...not much to improve, honestly. I think the gist of my complaints is that I don’t get flavorfully why wolves can fly. Is the spirit giving it to them through some weird magic? What are the Fanged Winds? Sometimes in Magic, there are mechanical interactions that don’t make flavorful sense, but a card has to have internal flavor consistency, and I’m still not sure about that. Mechanically I’m in love.

ShakesZX — Woodland Gratifier

What I like: This is indeed a new version of something that exists but hasn’t seen print in quite this way. That’s pretty much what we were after! It’s a powerful elf effect, and as we speak, someone’s eyeing Gaea’s Cradle and salivating.

What we can improve: This definitely needs to be a replacement effect, see Mana Reflection. That’s an easy fix, though. This submission feels...strange without any flavor behind it. As a draft, sure, this is great. Presentation is iffy. I would have liked there to be flavor text for certain. There’s not really much to say about this card without that. I love the effect, but that’s where things stop. Also, uh, I’m either a terrible person or the word “gratifier” is giving some unintentional innuendo. I may have just spent too long on the internet.

@shootingstarhunter — Jack-In-The-Box

What I like: Knowledge Pool was a fantastic card, and this feels like a callback to that and then some. The change from libraries to the battlefield makes this card really fun to play around with as a kind of boardwipe, and for seven colorless mana there’s a lot of decks that could love this. Playing it then sacrificing with the trigger on the stack? Yike-a-rooni. I’d love to play that. I might also be evil.

What we can improve: But that’s another problem. Do you want permanent exile like that? If that’s your intention, I applaud it. I don’t necessarily like how you’re not the first person to get a present from the box, but that’s a necessary evil, I think. Like Omen Machine. My mechanical suggestion would be to CAST the cards from exile for additional synergy, and to word it so that the boxes are completely optional or completely mandatory. Secondly, the name. Why is a children’s toy exiling all permanents? That’s a major effect, something like an obelisk or a maze, not, well, a box. I would edit the flavor a little bit to reflect a world-breaking effect. Magical portal, woo!

@snugz — Disab, Lord of the Seven Seas

What I like: I imagine if this were come sort of commander it could come with little teardrop cutouts that you could scatter on different permanents or whatever, special flood counters. As a limited card, I think that it’s excellent, and as a constructed card it’s, well, still excellent. It’s a lot to put into a card but you get some awesome control out of it and beef up your pirate to the nth degree. I like how it doesn’t perma-change Islands, although man, there’s some fun combo shenanigans to be had there, I’m sure. Pretty great pirate-y flavor, too.

What we can improve: You know, I don’t have any comments on ways to improve this card. I’ll say that it’s the closest thing that could see print out of most of these submissions, and maybe, well, that’s the problem. It feels almost safe. It’s such a great normal card that it’s not grabbing me by the briney beard and showing me the lost skeleton treasure of Boney Jim. That’s more of an indictment on the contest than it is you or the card, so consider this an apology for having uproariously high expectations for weirdness while at the same time throwing the weirdest submissions under the bus.

@socialpoison — Forget-Me-Not

What I like: You submitted some really cool backstory for this card, and I appreciate the amount of work that you’ve put into this idea. I think that Aetherborn on another plane could work really well with what you have in mind. This card allowing for the self-mill-return is powerful without being, like, Kethis broken. I think you found an interesting balance. Green is a nice choice for the people who would want to make this a commander.

What we can improve: Phasing is one of those mechanics I think I’ll personally never like, but that’s just me. This card itself works with that well, although it hasn’t sold me. I don’t really get the timing of phasing having not grown up with it, but you know, I might have misinterpreted this card and right now I’m thinking about card advantage and realizing that oh my goodness, uh, this card really is a mythic. It’s got card advantage out the butt. Is that too powerful? Well, no, but this may give rise to a control archetype. I think this requires a lot of playtesting. In short, this card is good, but it’s not for me, and that’s no fault of yours. My one critique in an area that I’m actually versed in: I don’t really like the name, cutesy as it is. In-story it could work, but it’s also an idiom of sorts, and that doesn’t feel very legendary to me personally.

@teaxch — Trium, the Strongest Shape

What I like: Alright, this is one of those cards, I’ll admit, I started brewing with it when I saw it. Forgetting the vigilance and haste, there was the draw and the build-around of three-mana 3/3s in these commander colors, of which there are over a hundred. You got Resplendent Angel, Dauntless Escort, Bastion Protector, Verge Rangers... And that’s not counting tokens like Garruk’s beasts. Man. There’s a lot of crazy fun stuff to do with this card, and a fun design space for a meme commander.

What we can improve: Did I say “meme commander?” Good, just checking. It’s a damn triangle. I know they did a legendary Wall, but people were asking for memes before they knew what they were getting into. I love the way this card works mechanically. I’m not going to give any more kudos than necessary to a triangle. (I hope this isn’t too mean, I really do like the design.)

@thedirtside — Master Craftsman

What I like: The more I read/think over this card, the more I kind of appreciate it. It’s a nice casual build-around-me artifact mythic that’s just asking for fun budget stuff. Maybe it’s broken in some builds, but frankly, I don’t see it. I really like how you brought together all the different artifact types and archetypes in one kind of build. This is definitely a Horizons type of card, and you know, for this, that’s not a bad thing.

What we can improve: This card feels pretty cramped for space, and even then, there needs to be a little more. Most of my qualms are about presentation. There need to be commas after all the mana symbols but before the tap symbols. The black ability needs to say “two” instead of 2. The red ability needs to say “Master Craftsman deals 3 damage to any target.” All damage needs a source. And get rid of the flavor text for this one, five abilities fills it up too much already. In terms of surprise, I think after rereading and going through this contest I found myself enjoying this card after all. Just gotta clean up a bit.

@walker-of-the-yellow-path — Time Rift Tactics

What I like: I like this card a lot. The multicolored suspend is pretty interesting considering time shenanigans and blue’s flavor, and even for six mana getting those four tokens is pretty powerful. I wouldn’t say that it’s first-pickable, but it’s definitely great. I’m a fan of the flavor wherein a bunch of soldiers or some general came up with an attack strategy that involved sending soldiers through time and space.

What we can improve: Again, mostly presentation and numeric issues. Suspend definitely needs reminder text, especially for a common, and with the proper em-dashes. Each instance of “4″ should be “four” as well. And the thing is, if you have the blue mana, you can play this in a nonwhite deck for no downside, and I honestly think that that breaks the pie. A cheaper alternate casting cost might prevent it from commander play, but this card was never going to be in commander to begin with, and mono-blue access to this isn’t what blue gets to have.

@wolkemesser — Untapped Potential

What I like: Unique tokens are pretty cool. I like the strangeness of it all, and I think that there’s definitely some ways to make this card really powerful. In colors that can populate, I imagine that there’s a lot of ways to get some crazy draw engines working. I think in the workshop there were a couple people who really liked your work on the flavor text as well.

What we can improve: I wasn’t altogether grabbed by the end result of the token. So, you get a big creature and can see everyone’s hands, but then what? Each player’s token basically becomes a big creature that you’re fighting to get bigger and work with that, discouraging you from casting spells from your hand, and I don’t think I’m a big fan of that. In the end this card makes a cool token but there’s no synergy or movement beyond that, and that’s what’s not lighting my fire. Small notes: “Avatar” should be capitalized, and the two abilities of P/T and “Everyone plays with hands revealed” need to be two separate quotation marks, see Pursued Whale.

Good lord, finally done. Thank you all for your submissions. Tune in tomorrow, when we make history! Or something! We make history every day, don’t we.

-@abelzumi

#mtg #magic the gathering #commentary #custom magic card #surprise me #entries #inventor's fair

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phil-dwyer-stan-account · 5 years ago

Note

Fuck you not everyone can afford to donate and some people want to physically own midnight sun you’re not better than anyone else

(This is in regards to this post and some of the things I’ve reblogged)

So this has been sitting in my ask box for a couple days. I usually just try to ignore hate and that’s what I planned on doing with this. But this isn’t just random hate. My word choice wasn’t the best and it caused problems. This person has every right to be angry and upset with me.

I put similar stuff to what I’m gonna say in the tags of a post I reblogged, so if this seems repitive I’m sorry.

My intention has never been to make feel guilty and like if they don’t donate money they are a bad people. But just because my intention wasn’t to cause harm that does not mean that they cannot cause harm when applied to words and actions.

I have been really pushing for people to donate and not give smeyer money. But I DO NOT judge anyone who can’t donate, wants to physically own the book, etc. Your money belongs to you and you decide what to do with it. So many people cannot afford to donate, especially right now with so many people unemployed, and that doesn’t make them any worse than someone who donates a million dollars. And even if you can afford it, you don’t have to donate. Also, a lot of people want to physically own this book(and the other twilight books) and that’s great! I wasn’t trying to attack people who do! I love having physical copies of books!!! But I was just trying to give people options. Some of the people who buy the book are going to match the amount they pay for the book with a donation. Some of them can’t afford that. Some of them can afford it and don’t want to donate for a myriad of reasons. All of that is valid. And it would be ridiculous for me to think that every single person is going to pirate a copy of midnight sun or any of the other twilight books. Every single one of us has supported the twilight saga and it’s associated works. Whether through buying the books/movies, buying merch, making posts about it that spread the series to more people, etc. And I’m pretty sure ALL OF US hate smeyer and the problematic things she’s done. And we can still buy things that make us happy while hating her. NOBODY is morally superior for choosing to spend money on Midnight Sun or not.

My intentions when I made my post about “not” finding copies online were originally to help people who might not know about that and can’t afford to spend that. I found the online copies at a time where I truly could not afford to spend any excess money. Thinking back on that, I figured if I couldn’t afford four new books(midnight sun hadn’t been announced yet) maybe others couldn’t as well and weren’t aware of the online copies. And then I thought about not really wanting to support smeyer by rebuying the books, anyways. The day I made my post I ended up having a tiny bit of extra money. I’ve been hearing a lot about reservations around the country not getting enough resources during the pandemic. So, I thought I’d throw in a little message about donating to local tribes and the quileute people(since they’ve been directly harmed by smeyers portrayal and never received a cent from her). I figured I could take the money I wasn’t spending on buying the twilight books and donate it to them. But that doesn’t make me morally superior AND I wasn’t trying to make anyone else do the same. I really don’t want anyone to feel like they have to do anything.

I think(please correct me if I’m wrong) I had good intentions BUT the impact was harmful and ignored the positions and needs of so many. If my post or reblogs have hurt you and made it seem like I think I’m better than anyone for pirating books and donating money, I am truly sorry. I wasn’t thinking of the damage my post could cause and I need to do my best to change and start thinking more carefully before I post.

Thank you for calling me out. I’m not a perfect person by any means. I make a lot of mistakes and I don’t always see how things I do might end up negatively affecting someone. I may not be perfect, but I’m capable of learning. I need people to call me out when I’m bad so that I can realize the weight of my actions, learn from my mistakes, and grow to be a better person. I know it can be hard to call people out. I know you’re angry with me and I understand the reasons and sentiment behind that anger. I am sorry.

#ask #anon #midnight sun #twilight

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 5 years ago

Text

Humans are Space Orcs “Rival in the Circle”

First, I want to apologize, I wanted to make this a single longer story, but I have been traveling the past few days, and haven't slept much. Plus the guy sitting next to me n the airport is taking a conference call and won’t stop talking, so I cant concentrate :). So I am going to have to do this in two parts. I hope you like it anyway.

Forgive my writing when I am tired :)

Sunny was worried, very, very worried, her stomach had been in a constant state of churning ever since the transmission had been intercepted from Anam (her home planet) bringing with it the news of their bicentennial war gathering, which consisted mostly of ritual combat and war games conducted among all the major military leaders across the whole of Drev society. These games were primarily conducted in order to prove their worth as a Drev citizen. During this time bets could be waged, land could be fought for, and tribes could be absorbed or dissolved. Not only that but subordinate Drev soldiers could publically challenge any rival leader for their position by way of combat. This ritually would generally happen only once or twice a lifetime for the average Drev, and participation was only possible if you were lucky enough for it to fall in the prime of your life.

Neither of her parents had ever participated though they would have been alive as children the last time the gathering was held. Smaller trials of combat were held on a daily basis in Drev society, and though they did not lead to fame and fortune as fast as the gatherings could, they were also far less potentially lethal.

The ritual in itself wasn’t troubling to her exactly, it was the fact that, ALL Drev leaders MUST attend mandatory or lose their right as Drev citizens, lose their respect as warriors, and forfeit their command positions. Of course you could challenge someone to a fight simply to prove your superiority, but that wasn’t guaranteed to happen, and all other options were far worse.

As a Drev leader, she would be required to go, but of course she didn’t worry about that, what worried her was the fact that she had, without thinking, given up her position of command to Adam, and by Drev law, as an adopted member of her tribe, he would be required to participate.

Every time she closed her eyes, she imagined his small, squishy breakable human body collapsing under a Drev beating. Yeah the humans had won the Drev war, and dominated them in combat, but it had been at a terrible price proven by Adam’s missing leg…. The leg she herself had taken from him.

He was a warrior, but he had no idea what he was getting himself into.

Just as her thoughts were beginning to wander down that dark path, she felt a familiar weight settle itself onto her back feet standing lightly on the buddy-pegs that had been applied to her armor when she became part of the human crew.

Adam leaned against her shoulder peering at her with a bright casual smile, “Brooding isn’t a good look for you.”

As all Drev could, Sunny saw the world through a four rod spectrum consisting of the visible light spectrum, as called by humans, and the UV light spectrum, used as an auxiliary by the Drev. With their colorful carapace, UV light became an important aspect of beauty on their planet, a fact that many humans would never be able to see. Sunny saw the world in a multitudinous array of color and light.

And just like every other time in her life, Sunny was struck by the human’s unseen beauty. His bright eyes, in her perception, almost glowed with their green intensity shot through with turquoise. Strange patterns and swirls stood out on his skin, detailed stripes that only she could see, that appeared like a constellation across her skin, perceived in her brain as a glittering trail of blue green sparks across the human’s skin.

She frowned craning her neck around to get a better look at him. One gold eye met one green eye, “I just don’t think you understand what you are getting yourself into.”

When the human smiled his teeth glittered with highlights of delicate purple “Contraire my shiny friend.” He patted her arm, “I have actually been planning for this eventuality for a while now.”

Her brows scrunched in surprised confusion, “You have.” Inside her head she tried not to imagine what color his blood would be under the strength of their sun.

He raised an eyebrow, which just barely peeked out from under the edge of his eyepatch “What’s with the note of surprise. You act like I just spend most of my time flying by the seat of my pants.”

That made her laugh, which broke some of her nervous tension, “That’s because you do. You are the LEAST prepared person I know.”

He waved a hand, “Well this time I planned.” He grinned. I have been dying to show you the surprise for ages now.”

“Surprise, what surprise?”

“Shhh, now MUSH, onwards! To the equipment room.” He gripped his arms firmly around her neck, as she trotted away towards the equipment room generally relishing the familiar weight of her first and only battle partner.

Reaching the equipment room, she was surprised to find that the usual stacks of ammunition, and boxes of batteries had been cleared away leaving room for a large open space that was teaming with engineers, both Drev and human.

Commander Vir dropped from her back as they entered and scampered, with his quick human step, across the open floor and towards a glittering metallic behemoth at the center of the room attached to various diagnostic equipment by way of a myriad of spider-webbing cables and tubes. Sunny had to filter out the UV light in order to get a better look at the thing, and image which quickly resolved into the tall figure of a….. Drev? Well not exactly a Drev, but a pretty good approximation of one made entirely from the same materials used to make the Commander’s prosthetic. It had a light titanium skeleton barely seen through a thick, stretchy layer of material approximating skin. Over top of that steel plates had been fitted in to replace armor. Looking at its face, she could see it had a convincing set of false mechanical eyes.

Commander Vir turned a wide grin splitting his face, “What do you think.”

She stood frozen in place staring at the shell, “What is it?” She wondered distantly

Energetically, he leaped up to pat his creation on the elbow, it was pretty small for a Drev, maybe only eight feet tall, but still a good two feet taller than him, “This is tactical exo suit repurposed to look and move like a Drev, though as our lovely Drev tell me, your kin won’t exactly take me seriously if I cannot feel pain, so it’s been completely integrated with a neural link with touch, pressure, and pain sensors in all the appropriate concentrations. It can even see in Ultraviolet as I am told, though how that is going to look is beyond me.”

He motioned her closer, and she walked up to examine the thing, where it stood tall and soulless above her.

The human looked up, his wide, guileless eyes begging for her approval, but she didn’t know how she was supposed to feel just yet.

“See, take a look.” The sea of engineers and consultants parted as the man stepped onto the platform pressing a release sequence on the suit which split open at the midline and moved outwards. The torso, parts of the legs, parts of the upper arms, and the head cracked open to reveal a human shaped hole on the inside. With the help of a few levers, and some convenient handholds, he hoisted himself into the machine and stepped backwards.

His body fit comfortably into the opening, a strange gel like substance suctioning to his body even as the metal casing began closing around him with the soft rattling of multiple latches. The machine powered up with a short of mechanical hiss, and before she knew it, it wasn’t a shell that stood in front of her, but another drev.

It drew itself up against the leads, flexed its legs, and arms, and rotated its head.

“When its eyes opened, she found two very human eyes looking back at her, bright green and glittering. When the mouth opened, it spoke with a very human voice, “What do you think.

Softly, she stepped onto the platform and looked upwards towards the face, so strange, but somehow familiar.

He was taller than her now.

They stood staring at each other for a long time before, “There is one thing….”

***

When they walked out into the Drev sun for the first time standing side by side, she was hit suddenly by the volcanic rush of air she hadn’t felt in over a year. Glancing over, she looked sidelong at her companion. He was a good foot taller than her, with unnaturally green eyes, and a glittering carapace of vibrant green. She wasn’t sure why she chose that color for him…. Perhaps because it had always been her favorite, or maybe it was because naturally it would have been such a rare color, maybe it was that she wanted him to be different.

She had spent the night before alone in the equipment bay gently applying the color to the cold steel. Her own little silent project.

It was a strange sort of feeing on her part, but she felt a melancholy watching him with this new armor. Things were so different when he was a human, their dynamic was different, but the addition of this….. well it changed things.

She found herself glad that this suit was not intended to last.

“Engaging UV operations.” He said from inside the suit.

The eyes flashed rebooted, and then he was back. His head turned in a wide circle confused and dazzled all at once, “Holy Shit! So many….. Colors.” Overwhelmed by the sight before him, he turned his head in a wide circle before stopping to land on her. There was a long pause as the head tilted to look at her more clearly, “Wow…. Sunny, you…. You’re beautiful.”

She was left standing in his tracks as he walked off along the landing strip and towards the distant moss-covered fields.

She caught up with him eventually, “And thanks to me you aren’t terribly hideous.”

An eye turned to look at her sidelong. No matter how much he looked like a Drev, he still moved like a human, lithe quick movements on the balls of his feet, with a grace that openly contrasted the brute force of the average Drev.

“Thanks for that.”

“I mean the suit is a great help, you know coverers up that ugly problem you have.” She motioned wildly with her arm.

“You just motioned to all of me.”

“Yeah, and your point is?”

He nudged her rather aggressively to the side just then knocking her off balance and nearly tripping herself onto the tarmac. He cackled and flexed his arms, “Oh yeah, I think I could get used to this.”

She rubbed her arm, “So now you can be big AND dumb.”

They were still laughing by the time they made it to the edge of the tarmac followed on either side by an entourage of Drev and marines. The Drev who were unwilling to pass up this once in a lifetime opportunity, and the humans who just wanted to see their commander get a righteous ass whooping.

All in good fun of course.

A group figures waited for them at the edge of the field. There was the Drev GA ambassador, with his distinguished silver carapace and towering height. Next to him stood, who sunny assumed to be his battle mate. Her armor glittered a pleasant orange peach, and a thickening about her trunk suggested she carried an unborn Kit within her. Behind them stood other members, of what she could only assume to be, the temporary Drev council. They weren’t exactly functional, or even useful in these particular situations, but they had found in prudent to at least create a figurehead council to demonstrate the illusion of control.

Most Drev tribes refused to work together on principal, and since the council members were a representative of the tribes, they tended to disagree so much that doing anything was out of the question.

Commander Vir stopped before the council. Even in his new armor, the average Drev towered a foot to half a foot over him.

With a sharp hiss, the carapace opened, and the man stepped off onto the stone for the second time in his life.

To the surprise of the council, he then preformed a traditional Drev greeting. Compared to most Drev his vocal range was quite high, but his human voice box managed the sounds well enough that the council understood and glanced between each other in shocked surprise.

“I am Commander Adam Vir of the U.N.S.S Harbinger, protector and envoy of the galactic Assembly and Battle commander to the wandering tribe. My command is loaned to me by Sunny Lumnousdaughter rightful battle commander of the wandering tribe, and we are here by tradition to take up your challenge as obligation demands.”

At the back of the group, one of the Drev gave a snort of derision. He was tall enough, but his carapace was nothing more than a muddied brown giving him a distinctly brutish cast. That had Sunny worried. With a carapace like that, he surely didn’t gain command for his beauty, but his fighting ability, “What right does an outsider have to our traditions.” He had o translation device and spoke only in the Drev native language.

Commander Vir responded, though his accent was poor, and his voice rather broken, “I was rightfully adopted.” He lifted the pant leg to show the Drev prosthetic to the watching crowd, “And if that is not enough, I have bested many of your brethren in battle during the war, and despite losing one of my limbs, I STILL live as a functional warrior, which is more than many of your soldiers can say…. I hear.” He grew quiet then, and Sunny waited with bated breath. It was a gamble, the Drev didn’t feel the same way about the crippled as humans did. What was inspiration to one was a hindrance to another, but eventually the Drev nodded.

“Very well human, you may participate, and you will be shown no mercy.”

At the head of the group, the GA representative stepped forward, “And what is this.” He prodded at the mechanical armor, “Tradition requires that no armor shall be used during the proceedings…. You would ignore our tradition/”

Commander Vir Stepped back into the carapace which closed around him, “To the contrary, Here I can see what you see and feel what you feel. It may look like armor, but as my Drev engineers can attest, I have full access to pain. In that case it is poor excuse for armor. Furthermore, it would hardly add to your honor to rip apart a human. If anything it would prove you a coward for fighting me in unfair combat.”

She had to give him credit, he knew what was important to the Drev, and that shut up their arguments for the time being. Together they walked side by side down a short, mossy trail to where a massive encampment had been made. Unlike humans they required no temporary dwellings, but rather contented themselves with sleeping under the stars their backs to rocks and cuddled into the moss. The important part came by way of a hundred or more circles of dirt and stone cleared completely of moss, which would in turn be used to feed the many mouths that had come to participate.

Even as they watched a good twenty or more duels were already in progress. From what she could tell they were relatively low ranking duels probably between subordinate members of the tribes looking to rise in status by way of combat. The humans watched with great interest as they were lead to their spot to wait, a few of them parked themselves where they could more easily see one of the closer duels, discreetly exchanging credits as they amused themselves with betting on the fights.

Sunny stood with Commander Vir, and together they waited for the real fighting to begin.

***

To her surprise, Sunny found herself first in the ring challenged openly by one of the younger Drev of, what was left, of her old home tribe. Though he was young, he was nearly a foot taller than her, but had a rather unattractive mustard yellow carapace. She felt bad for him, if he couldn’t find glory in combat, there wasn’t likely to be any other way for him to move upwards, but she wasn’t about to give up her hard earned respect for this runt, and quickly pounded him into the dirt. A few of the moves she used were unknown to the Drev, and a Reconciler had to be brought forward to determine if her action was legal. In the end they determined that new fighting styles were acceptable, and she was given the win.

Once upon a time, winning a duel would have been a big deal to her, and despite this being her first formal duel, she felt nothing more than pity for the young Drev carted away in shame.

It was all too easy now.

Fighting had never been easy for her.

As day moved into night, a few of the council members were challenged, but subsequently defeated their subordinates. Sunny fought in two more duels winning easily on the first and more slowly on the second.

After her second fight was when Adam was first challenged. It looked like some new and unchallenged juvenile assuming that the human would be easy to defeat. Sunny worried for the first few minutes that that might be true, a defeat at such a low level would be catastrophic for his reputation.

She shouldn’t have worried though.

Where the Drev had brute force and determination, the human had guile, refined tactics from greater experience, and a greater reason to win. Sunny had never assumed their species capable of such acrobatics, but, Commander Vir put the Drev body through its paces locking the young Drev into a crushing chokehold in under three minutes. If he had wanted, he could have snapped the younger creature’s neck, and was completely in his rights to do so, but it was generally frowned upon to kill a young Drev in a duel, especially if the terms of the duel did not contain a, to the death, clause.

More people were looking him over sizing him up as a true threat now.

Most of the time, he kept himself on the outside of the suit standing next to it and staring down anyone who dared look at him wrong. As a predator, his stare could be pretty intimidating, but she just found in sort of cute. Humans were adorable when they were trying to be intimidating.

There was a soft pad on the stone behind her, and she turned around to find a familiar face.

Moss, a member of the crew, and an old acquaintance of the tribe stood behind her. His handsome green carapace glowed in the sun above, and at over nine feet tall, he posed a strapping figure.

She found herself reminded suddenly of an ashen day, and the feeling of terrible humiliation.

“Sunny.”

“Moss.”

Commander Vir had turned from his position watching the fights, his eyes falling on the conversation. He grew very still head tilted slightly to the side. The invisible constellation over his skin glittered softly.

“What do you need?” She wondered voice stiff but not unkind.

The Handsome head lifted itself high, “I am here to challenge you.”

Everything around her grew suddenly silent. Commander Vir had stood from his seat and watched with wide shining eyes. The other humans stood as well staring onwards at the two of them standing atop the hill, feet resting against the cool stone.

Moss lowered his head, “I challenge you as equals and offer myself as your partner in battle if you can match me in combat.”

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cdlabelsize-blog · 5 years ago

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The strength of Labels

dvd dimensions You define your own world with labels. Anyone define those around a person using labels. You specify your self with labels. Product labels tend to be powerful - become careful the method that you use these people: they can make or even break your current attitude along with energy.

dvd dimensions

Entire world Labels

While a freshman within college or university my bicycle had been lost from my dormitory hall while my roomie in addition to I cleaned our place. I was lucky for you to get this bicycle again. I was luckier to help learn a valuable "Labeling" tutorial. A Hispanic man (fellow student) had consumed typically the bike. I has been prejudiced versus Hispanics intended for some time after which as a consequence of his actions.

My spouse and i don't like seeing my very own attitudes with regards to people transform because of an individual. In which realization helped me redouble my attitude so that will My partner and i didn't lump tons of great people straight into my frustration at him or her. Time dissolved that rage so he has not possibly the subject of the ire, and hasn't also been in generations. Hispanics decided not to steal our bike -- one person did, as well as he happened to end up being Latino.

That label confident eaten a lot associated with my energy to get a short time there.

Accuracy in the labels is important so in which your thinking correctly reveal the world and also appearance your attitude in regards to the entire world you are describing along with living in.

Better still, minimizing your own personal labeling let us you see men and women with regard to all that they are usually, and can be. Gowns energizing for them, in addition to for an individual, rather compared to taking energy.

Trademarks about Others

On a care my husband and We took a Refezione analyze. Mensa is the "high IQ society" - clever people, to label these individuals. We'd been speaking with Mensa conventions and a single on the organizers felt many of us were Tavola material, nevertheless I was not sure I'd personally even accommodate with the class - or perhaps wanted in order to. I'd long assumed persons in Mensa had been geeks who played expression as well as number games, and have had little social skills. Similar to this collection of labels?!

Considering that our interactions with the various people at often the conventions have been favorable most of us took the assessment : and passed! I actually shoved into a whole distinct collection of labels any time I included with my LinkedIn account that we was any Mensa member (yes, all of us joined the association). My spouse and i was now labeled while some sort of know-it-all, as inside I must recognize every little thing about everything. Inappropriate!

Labeling can help define your personal tribe, or circle regarding contacts and friends. They might be labels of praise or maybe derision. But, labels could also often be narrow and also limiting - and gowns the thing that makes them a difficulty. Labels will come from trusting stereotypes, not being totally sure or being familiar with the full qualifications involving someone's life, as well as via your own life experience along with biases.

Labels place individuals in boxes. Packing containers are generally simplistic. How perform those product labels drain your own energy because of your current "need" to defend all of them? And also the do those trademarks influence impact the folks you put them with?

Others' Labels on You actually

I've possessed others use labels in my experience that, until eventually I saw the fact that was going on and changed my very own response, brought me along. Occasionally I've quickly observed this the label didn't get pian relief, or even apply, in addition to had the ability to rise above the actual energy drain the idea made in me. Occasionally really taken me months to be able to see what happened, arrive at grips with my effect, and re-energize myself.

At times positive labels, while experiencing good, have encouraged me personally to feel cocky or even exceptional. That's limiting as well. While intended compliment connected with a ticket was supposed well, the reaction had not been reasonable. Brands shouldn't help make us no more than they need to break us. Permitting the particular meaning of a point check out your head basically healthy.

Product labels are aspect of how "tribes" usually are created, or identified. Tribes are great to always be part of! Many of us expand, connect, and experience realized with "our people". Typically the trick is to not really permit the tribe's label "get you". You aren't excellent or poor because associated with the tribe label. You will be more than the group, just as you will be much more than the label.

Experiencing precisely how others' labels impression our psyche, it's fair personally to expect this labels upon others affects them in the same manner, even in the event that positive. I know everyone in business is in charge of each of our own reactions on the universe, but I want for you to tread carefully but not lead to others to have a lot more challenges than they actually do. I want to help limit my very own label apps. I want the phrases to lift men and women, certainly not box them throughout.

Your own personal Labels on On your own

Almost certainly my most destroying self applied label I've given to personally is "I'm wii businesswoman". Never mind that My partner and i are actually successfully self-employed regarding over 29 years rapid that is beside typically the point. When I determined to alter the focus regarding my career, the following a few year hiatus did not support my self photo.

Throughout hindsight, those restrictions We bought into contributed in my opinion losing passion for our previous career as a new guest house consultant and brokerage. The volume of four- and five-star B&Bs I'd coached loaded this resume. The range of people I actually really helped realize their hopes for buying and operating a resort filled my cardiovascular system. Nevertheless somehow all of which has not been enough.

I weren't productive by others' explanations involving success: my cash flow levels, my website site visitors, how informed the globe was of myself, often the number of books We would printed - all fell into listed below others' ideas connected with precisely what made for the successful businessperson. U ordered into those constraints intended for a long time. I had created caged me personally with damaging labels.

Joining Brendon Burchard's High Performance Secondary school with March 2015 time to share view the cage I'd set myself into and start its door so My spouse and i could possibly fly free yet again. I am able to still feel that will surge associated with power as well as self identification! What any moment when I started out that cage door, got out into the home, and also stretched my wings.

I am just back!

The almost all damaging labeling of almost all are probably the brands anyone apply to oneself. As you control who have others can be, or perhaps how they are noticed, when you utilize product labels to them, you carry out a similar to yourself instructions merely more so. A person are more important along with unforgiving of on your own as compared to others, most of the actual time, knowning that takes some sort of lot of energy.

While you can be so very much more than you, in addition to more than a tag stated, be careful regarding the labels you actually implement to yourself. If a person think also highly involving yourself, an individual limit your own personal growth in that spot. If you think way too lowly connected with yourself, anyone discourage expansion there far too. The labels you actually employ reflect all the methods you put yourself within packing containers, the ways a person limit by yourself, and the particular ways you don't accept yourself fully.

Your power is usually connected to your personal acceptance, your own growth, as well as your freedom. Whenever you steer clear of self labels an individual mirror self acceptance. Once you adopt yourself you assist your current growth. When you no longer box yourself in you could have the freedom to possibly be yourself inside myriad techniques. Those just about all support a new strong energy.

Good vitality keeps you living with typically the day, allows you in order to be fruitful, and results in alertness. Lifestyle label cost-free supports a lively life.

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fallen029 · 6 years ago

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Dead of Night

Since he was a boy, Bickslow always found it difficult. Sleeping. He had an immense amount of freedom presented to him at an early age, following the death of his parents, and that lead to a lot of terrible choices being made along the way.

For a long time, out on the street, he kind of couldn't sleep well. Anywhere. Because someone was always after you. After making it to Fairy Tail though and finding his way there, he found that the night just suited him by that point. He would sit up in his room at the dormitory all night, reading comics and learning spells when he was young, lamenting life while chain smoking when he grew. As a man now, the bad habit had eaten away at him and, though he could tumble out of his bed for practice or jobs, if the Thunder Legion was on any sort of break in Magnolia, he'd only go back to his apartment and sleep all day so he could stay up all night, watching movies on his lacrima while discussing with his babies the myriad of topics that crossed his mind.

The night life was just his most productive hours, was all. Daylight made him squint his eyes, having to hide them behind his visor, and things were much softer at night, he found, other than just the light. People whispered and music was hushed and it was just much calmer, outside. You could hear the animals out in the forest better and even when he was all alone, in his apartment, he found himself trying to be silent about it. Hushed. His lacrima would stay down low, hardly more than a candle or two lit, and the babies knew to keep their nonsensical rambles to a minimum.

Papa had a lot to think about. They usually left him to it.

Still, the hours weren't too great for a social life. It was bad enough, being gone all the time, off on jobs, but then when he was home, yeah, he was around to go out to dinner or hangout late into the night, but as he grew, he found that less and less people were only about that. Staying up all night partying and carrying on. People liked to meet for lunch. Women liked to be taken out. During the day. Or at least not to only have an attentive partner during some of the daylight hours. When he was around to be that. Which he rarely was.

But meh.

Bickslow had a hard enough time finding a woman who was interested in him. It was a lot of work to get a woman to look passed the face tattoo and strange dolls that floated about. And when he did find one, he was kind of tired of her already because he'd already been chasing her for a good point at that part and it was boring. Once that was all done with.

And what kind of guy would he be, huh? Being interested long term in a woman who was interested in a fucked up person such as himself? If she was into face tattoos and delinquency, then he probably wasn't into her.

A catch 22.

Maybe.

He wasn't quite sure what that was, but it felt like it applied to his situation well enough.

It was weird though. When it happened. Really weird. Which suited him, because he was really weird, but…

Lisanna was always kind of a misfit too. Sort of. She was more aligned with the inner circle of Fairy Tail than he was, really, as she spent years hanging off Makarov's golden boy, Natsu (while, you know, Bickslow hung off the real golden boy), and she was Mirajane's little sister, which carried a lot of weight too.

But when she arrived back from the dead, it was to an all new guild and all new people and her siblings, even, were different. Life didn't wait for you, while you were gone. It couldn't. Things moved on. They had to. He was sure she didn't blame them. How could she? It was through grace or fate or luck or, maybe, just sheer chance that Lisanna had been saved. Been given a second chance.

She had no right to complain about anything.

So she didn't. As far as he knew. Lisanna seemed just happy to be around, at any given point, and would spend time with anyone. Her brother seemed to be the only one that she'd go out on jobs with though and Mirajane was content, really, to have her just hang around the bar most days. Where she could glance at her. And grin. Because she was there. Lisanna. Alive. With them again.

She wasn't so clingy to Natsu in those days though. No. He was gone a lot, on jobs, and she was always friendly with most everyone in the hall, before her death, so it was only natural that she'd fall so simply back into that roll following her supposed revival. Or was it just a return?

It didn't matter. She seemed to not really wanna focus on it, up at the hall. She threw herself into whatever everyone else was into and drifted around the hall some, kind of glad to just take it all in again. As time went on though and days became years, she did find herself hanging around the Thunder God Tribe a lot.

This mainly had to do with Elfman and Ever's hot and cold antics which Lisanna enjoyed greatly because it gave her something to tease her older brother about. Not to mention giggle about with Mirajane. Evergreen usually didn't take well to other women, but she did see the benefits of Lisanna. Whether she and Elfman were off or on, it was great to have the youngest Strauss about to tell her every single thing the man was doing when they were apart.

Because she had to know.

Every single detail.

It was through this that Lisanna and Bickslow became friends. Sort of. She seemed to like Freed the most out of all of them and they would spend time together even when Ever or Elfman weren't around to torment, as Lisanna seemed to take great amusement out of the rune mage and his seriousness. He liked her as well. She listened to his complaints from jobs and seemed to understand the woes of leadership. Or at least was sympathetic to it.

Bickslow would hang about in times like that, occasionally, and it was a different dynamic, the one he and Lisanna formed with one another. She was goofy, underneath it all, and he had the same ailment, though he hid it beneath his dark surface, and they could cut up to the chagrin of Freed at times.

He wouldn't consider her a friend. Not really. Something more than an acquaintance and more, even, than the others in the hall. He liked Lisanna enough, the seith did, and he didn't mind too much one day when she sat down at the table with him, just him. They spoke and he drank and when it was time to close down that night, he mentioned that he wasn't headed home just yet and, since Mirajane still had to stay so late, closing up, he could walk her home. If she wanted.

"So you don't gotta wait for your sister," he explained and she almost rejected him, bringing up the fact that she was a super powerful mage too, you know, and could take care of herself, but…

They were having a pretty good conversation before that and it beat walking about in the cold all alone.

"What are you going to do?" Lisanna asked him eventually as they strolled through the dark, silent streets. "You said that you weren't going back home yet-"

"I'm not."

"Then-"

"Just go walk around the park some. Be a vagrant for a bit. Then go home. Smoke. Watch a movie."

"Long night."

"That's the goal."

She offered to go with him and Bickslow was kind of hesitant because, yeah, he wasn't minding his night up to that point, hanging out with Lisanna, but they were pushing some hours together by that point and they couldn't possibly force any more conversations.

Not to mention, he didn't know what her intentions were, exactly. But she seemed to just not want the night to end yet and they were guild mates. Friends, fine, yeah, whatever.

"I guess you can tag along," he gave him eventually with a bit of a shrug. "If you wanna."

"Only if you wanna, Lisanna," his dolls all insisted and she didn't drink, but was pretyt giggly in the late hour.

"But," the seith added as they changed their path then, her no longer leading and him taking over, "there is a rule."

"A rule, huh? Just to hang out in the park? At night?"

"Yeah."

"Gotta hear it then, I guess."

"Keep talkin'," he explained simply, "to a minimum, huh?"

She giggled at first, thinking this was some kind of joke, but when he just shook his head, she teased slightly, "Afraid of waking the ghosts?"

"Somethin' like that."

She giggled once more though and when they finally got to the park, the moon was high in the cloudless sky and it was kind of mystic out, it felt. Their conversation was dead, but neither he nor Lisanna seemed to feel any heaviness over this. Lisanna kept glancing up at it, the sky, and Bickslow found he kind of liked looking up there too.

"Stars are out," he muttered and she shot him a look before putting a finger to her sealed lips and, well, what could he do but tug at his visor and nod.

When the park got boring, Bickslow naturally headed home and he sort of forgot that he was supposed to take Lisanna back to hers until they were at his and he started to speak, but found the sound dying on his tongue and she was beaming at him because she was having a good time and didn't seem too exhausted either.

"Stay up late often? Kid?" he asked once they were inside because they officially weren't outside and that meant that the no talking ban was lifted. Still, he whispered it and Lisanna had been to his apartment before, once, when he had a party and Ever made him invite her and Elfman, but it was different just the two of them.

Everything felt different just the two of them.

"The best hours," she assured him in a hushed voice back. "You said something about a movie?"

Snickering, he could only nod his head. "If you're up for it."

They watched two, actually, that night, and as the second ended and the sky was turning that strange mix of deep purple and light blue, Lisanna dipped out finally. He offered through yawns to walk her back home, really walk her back home then, but she said she only wanted to get there before Mira took off for the morning shift.

"Hopefully," she sighed as she left, "she didn't notice I never made it in."

He'd found out when he rolled into the hall much later in the day, the evening really, to meet up with Freed and Evergreen, that Mira hadn't noticed. Lisanna told him this as she served him, just starting her shift for the night, and Freed questioned him as the Strauss woman left them, what exactly she was talking about, but the seith could only shrug.

"Maybe I hung out with Lisanna Strauss last night. Ever think of that, Freed?"

"No," his friend said with a shake of his head. "And I don't think I rather like the implications."

"Was a silent night, I'll tell ya that much."

"Please stop talking to me about this."

"Lots of hushed whispers."

"Bickslow-"

"Stars. I saw stars."

"I really wish you would find another person to discuss this with."

Bickslow didn't want to though.

He knew to cool it though, when Ever came about, because she might say something to stupid Elfman and then the joke would either get his ass kicked by the muscular man (an attempt, at least), as well as it getting back to Lisanna, which was the last thing he wanted.

Eventually, he found himself alone again, bothering others around the hall as he drank and waited. He wasn't sure for what. That night, he'd wanted to just go home and hang out in the darkness and decompress a bit. They would be heading out on their grueling jobs soon enough, him and his two best friends, maybe even Laxus, which meant that he should be prepping for that, but…

"I thought," he offered when Lisanna got off, "that I could walk ya home again. If you wanted."

She got off before closing (because Mirajane trusted no one to close up the place other than herself) and seemed eager at his suggestion and wow, it had never been this easy before. To get someone to actually hang out with him. Even Ever and Freed took a bit of convincing.

"I probably wouldn't be able to sleep," she offered as they left the place, "anyways."

"Never can," he agreed easily. "Better to sleep durin' the daylight, anyways. It's too bright for being out long."

"That's one reason, I guess, yeah," she sighed and he didn't press because, really, he didn't care much. Not then. He just wanted to get back to his place so that he could see how close, exactly, they were to having the same feelings about the night.

There would be no movies and no park. No. Only his music lacrima, lighting up, and deep self-reflection. He kind of thought Lisanna would bail on that one because there were no stars or silent comedies. But nope. As they sat about, he muttered some thoughts sometimes that she found funny enough and his babies glowed green, softly, in the darkness, to replace the stars as they were provided with before. She didn't even call his musical tastes crummy or nothin', like most people would. Like he would admit they would.

"It really," he told Freed as the man only groaned and prayed his face wouldn't show his embarrassment, the next time he saw the youngest Strauss sibling, "set the mood. The music. And we talked til the sun came up, after. Magical, really, it felt."

"I wish you had another friend."

He did.

But he couldn't tell her about it because she'd get all pissy. Ever thought she was the only one that could fuck a Strauss. And, well, she was, actually, but his story would imply otherwise and you couldn't have that.

They couldn't hang out again, for a bit, because he took off on his jobs and, when he returned, she was never around in the evening, it seemed. He heard something from Ever about she and her brother going off on a job, at one point, but other times he saw her hanging about with Natsu and Lucy and the like, so he just let her be.

Eventually, of course, the darkness found them both sitting around the hall, almost waiting for one another it seemed, and when he offered to walk her home, it was easy for the woman to accept.

They went to the park again that night, but they didn't walk around for long as, after picking out a spot, he and Lisanna fell onto their backs on the soft grass and they stared full up at the starry sky, silently, for a long time.

"Hey, Bickslow?"

"S'pused to be quiet," he muttered as he didn't even glance at her. "Lisanna."

"What do you think about? When you stare up at the stars?" She hummed some, softly, and said, "I think about how, probably, right now, they're looking up at the same ones. In Edolas. And in all other sorts of planets and worlds and… But I think I'm probably the only one."

She didn't think she'd get an answer back, he could tell, because she turned her gaze from him and back up at the sky. It was only then though the man spoke. His visor was pushed up and his hood was off and he felt the cool wind as it blew over them in ways he typically didn't.

"I remember," he told her softly, "when I was a kid. Lookin' at 'em. And my Papa told me that each one was a different universe all together. And when you're done on this one, you get to go hang out in one of those then. Billions of 'em, I bet. Just waiting. For you to try each one. You don't always get put back with the people you want, each time you go to a new one, and I bet that would suck, but he told me that sometimes, maybe, you do. All those combinations, you almost have to."

"I like that." She was looking at him again, he could feel it, but he wouldn't her. "Like… I'm not looking at the same stars as everyone I left back in Edolas; I'm looking at them. And they're looking at me."

Nodding some, he added, "But I wonder some times. When you do go on. When you do get to a new one. And maybe you do meet someone from one of the other billions you'd been to. Do you know? Or would that ruin it? Or do you just feel a connection to them, yeah? One you can't explain. That you don't understand. Until you're separated again. Just to hope you get it again. Maybe different, maybe not, but somethin' like what it was. Maybe that's why I'm friends with them. Freed and Ever. Why I like Laxus so much. Fairy Tail so much. Because I've been with you all before. We've all been with each other before. Or at least some of us with one or the other. Could you imagine that? I wonder if every tie we cross paths, all of us, do we raise as big a commotion as we do here? ON Earthland?"

She hummed in response before her eyes fell away from his face and onto his chest. His babies littered it, dormant it seemed, for the time being.

"Maybe," she whispered softly, "when you meet someone you knew before, that you connected before to, you don't have to leave them. Again. When it's your time to go. Maybe you get to go. And you wait on them. To join you. Like your dolls. Maybe they're people you knew, before or now, who are waiting on you to join them. And your magic just lets you see it. Let's you realize it. And the rest of us have no clue."

"Maybe," he agreed as he blinked. "Lisanna."

When the sky started to lighten and the stars began to fade, he wasn't shocked to find Lisanna snoozing. He'd heard her doing it for a good hour or two at that point. But he only reached over gently to shake her shoulder with a yawn as he got to his feet.

"Don't want someone catchin' ya, kid," is the best advice he could offer. "Sleepin' in a part. Leaves bad impressions."

Freed was the one with the jokes though, that time, when he and his friend met for dinner at the hall.

"And what things, then, did you and Lisanna get up to?" he questioned. He'd been there, when they left together, and though he squeezed his eyes shut and pretended not to notice, the horrible images that he was certain the seith would paint that evening were ingrained in his mind already, conjured up or not. "Hmm? What vague, graphic thing did the two of you-"

"Lisanna and I are friends," he told Freed simply and there was little play in his voice then. He said it in a rather commanding way too, as if affirming this to the rune mage who, obviously, had assumed them more by that point anyhow. Due, of course, to Bickslow's own boasting. "So maybe just lay off, huh?"

Freed frowned, but knew his friend to always be a bit off, so he didn't push the subject. It wasn't as if he were too keen to get into the nitty-gritty of it anyhow.

"If you wanted to do somethin', tomorrow night," Bickslow found himself asking Lisanna a few days later. Days. Because he met her during the day time, as she didn't seem to be around at night recently. But that day there she was, working bar through bleary eyes and he only rubbed at his own as he made an offer to her. "Then do you think that you could meet me in Hargeon? After sundown?"

He had no way of knowing if she was even planning on staying out late that specific night or whatever, but Lisanna nodded not soon after he spoke and it was set, the location and the time. All he had to do was make sure not to get drug out on a new job between then.

They had dinner together, given they met so early in the evening, in Hargeon and their conversation was light and jovial then, like it usually was, used to be more often, when they only spoke about teasing her brother and Ever, or giggled over Freed's serious nature.

After exploring the city until an unreasonable hour for most, they found themselves drifting towards the docks and Bickslow had already rented them a tiny row boat and it was kind of comical, really, maybe, the two of them paddling off into the night together. If they sprung a leak and both drowned, no one would ever be able to explain what exactly they were doing.

"Are we dating?" she asked after they'd rowed a good bit from the dock and where just sitting there, on the single piece of plywood that stretched between each sides. The bench. Seat. Neither knew enough about boats to know if it had a true name. They faced away from one another, though they were forced to touch one another, at the sides, and he looked out into the more ocean that awaited them forwards while she watched the glimmering city behind them. "Bickslow?"

"Not like any datin' I've ever done," he replied simply and she only shrugged some.

"You'd be the expert," she assured him as she reached with one hand, up, for one of his babies as it floated close enough. She didn't grab the floating doll out of the sky, but rather guided him then, down to her lap, where she only grinned down at him. To the doll's father though, she whispered, "Out of the two of us."

"Do you wanna date me?" It was foggy that night and he watched as it rolled over the waves around them. "Lisanna?"

She considered this in silence for a few before saying, "If this is what it is...dating… Then I wouldn't mind it, no. This is nice. I… I wanna keep doing this."

"Who said we had to stop?"

"No one. I was just-"

"It's good to talk, sometimes, kid," he told her with a bit of a sigh, "but other nights, I think, it's just better when we don't."

And she had to agree.

When he rowed them back to shore, the pair took the train back to Magnolia together as the sun came up, and it was almost blinding by the time they arrived, but she only yawned, heading one way as he did the other.

This went on for some time. This late night game they were playing. There was no pattern to it, no rhyme or reason, but as the season only got colder, they found themselves doing it more often than not inside of his apartment. Which was just as well. Lisanna could just as easily kill the early morning hours there as she could else where.

"Why don't you like to sleep at night?" he whispered one night as they sat there, on his bedroom floor, and his back was up against the bed while she laid before him, nearly there, really. Sleep. But not quite. He could tell as he puffed at his smoke and enjoyed the music. "Kid?"

"Something changed," she admitted to him softly and she didn't even think about it. Didn't hesitate. "When I went there. To Edolas. Not that place on it's own, but whatever happened to me, when I got sucked up, I think… I think maybe I felt it. Just for a minute or two. The darkness. What really comes for you. When you… Sometimes when I close my eyes, if I'm not really exhausted yet, then I won't be able to sleep so fast. You know? And then I have to think about it, as I shut them, and I don't… I hope your dad was right, Bickslow. That we get to go somewhere else. Other places. With or without people we knew before. Just...other worlds. That it keeps going. Infinitely. For all of us. Because if it doesn't...and what I saw, the darkness, is all there is… I just hope, I guess, is all."

"Yeah." And it burned that time, the inhale, but the exhale felt so good. So very good. "I hope too."

"Bickslow..."

"Hmm?"

"Maybe one day," she whispered as she drifted off, "we can go on a real date. Do you think? I don't even know what that means, but-"

"We will," he assured her,. "Lisanna. Promise."

"But still this too, right?"

"Yeah," he agreed and smiled some from the thought. "Can't sleep without it."

He never thought he'd find someone that would enjoy it as much as him. Those early morning hours. On top of that, someone he wasn't bored with. Because it wasn't a chase. He wasn't after Lisanna. It all just kind of...happened. And she wasn't into his face tattoo or too old to be so edgy attitude. She just liked to be around him. To talk about the same things as him. Listen to the same music. Snicker at the same movies. Sit, for hours, under the same billions of other universes that loomed above them.

To think, he was that old before he realized that's what he shouldda been looking for all along.

He kissed Lisanna for the first time when she left his apartment in the early dawn hours that next morning and she only giggled, there in his doorway, while he grinned and his dolls sang softly behind him, nonsensical and ready for bed it seemed, but to the amusement of the two people they were serenading.

Only, when he fell into bed after pulling his curtains closed and tossing a blanket over his head, he just couldn't fall asleep. His body wanted it. It needed it. But it was rejecting it as all he could think about, instead, was Lisanna and what they'd do, if they ever did go out. Really go out. Somewhere where everyone saw and what would Freed say, to learn that it wasn't nearly as whirlwind as he'd made it out to be, before? And that they were headed towards being, finally, much more than friends?

"Rough day?" the rune mage asked when, before the sun even began to set, Bickslow found himself staggering into the guild for a late lunch rather than an early dinner.

But he could only shake his head, Bickslow could, as he knew he'd have to turn in early that night. Especially if he was gonna get up bright and early the next day (well, by noon at the latest) and prepare for whatever and wherever, exactly, he was gonna surprise Lisanna with a date to.

"No," he ywaned to his friend as Freed only stared. "Not at all."

#Bixanna #Bickslow #Lisanna #Lisanna Strauss #Freed Justine #Evergreen #Fairy Tail #Fanfiction

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onestowatch · 5 years ago

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Governors Ball 2019: 10 Ones to Catch (Who Aren’t Tyler, the Creator or The 1975)

We are only days away from New York’s premier music festival. We are of course talking about The Governors Ball, which is set to take over Randall’s Island Park in New York from Friday, May 31 to Monday, June 3. Featuring multiple stages hosting some of the best names in music, from The Strokes, Tyler, the Creator, to The 1975, there is no shortage of must-catch acts at this year’s festival.

So, while we are all obviously going to be shouting out every lyric to IGOR before cry-dancing to A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships, the question is who are the hidden gems yet to be discovered on 2019’s Governors Ball lineup? Well, we have your list of future stars right here, as well as a helpful playlist to familiarize yourself with each and every one of them.

Easy Life

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“I’m trying to lock doors with these musical keys,” is a standout line on Easy Life’s “Pockets” and in many ways defines the band’s musical manifesto. The project of five of the finest lads from Leicester, England, Easy Life exists in an era where genres have given way to innovation and fluidity. Jumping between the vintage vibes of J Dilla, the lackadaisical indie rock of Rex Orange County, and the top-of-the-head storytelling of Arctic Monkeys, Easy Life’s blend of a myriad of genres, influences, and sounds are nothing short of intoxicating.

NJOMZA

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The fact that the name NJOMZA translates to “fresh” in Albanian makes perfect sense given a single passing glance at this R&B star on the rise. With a series of ever-changing neon hair, a Kill Bill aesthetic, and an otherworldly blend of R&B and soul, NJOMZA is not just another artist coasting in on a renewed interested in the timeless genre; she is positioning herself to constantly be a step ahead. Her futuristic and constantly evolving sound comes through in spades, whether it be in her own solo work or electrifying collaborations with Party Favor and FKi 1st.

Elohim

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Elohim is the very definition of a commanding one-woman show. The electronic singer, songwriter, producer, and musician entered the music scene a few short years ago, and, in that timespan, has grown to be one of its greatest innovators. Nowhere is this notion more realized than with the recent release of her lauded EP Braindead. Released in support of Mental Health Awareness month, with 100% of the May proceeds going to charities focusing on providing outreach and supporting for those living with mental health issues, Braindead further cemented Elohim as an artist to watch and most certainly catch.

Cautious Clay

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“Ever since I started playing music, it was always about the feel,” shares New York–based artist Cautious Clay. It is this intangible, perfectly indescribable feel that begins to explain the wonder of Cautious Clay’s music. Blending experimental indie with R&B and hip-hop, the New York artist crafts utterly mesmerizing works that are often rooted in deeply personal introspection. The end result plays out like an artist vulnerable enough to wear both his heart on his sleeve and let his mind unfurl like loosely-tied-together poetry.

Chelsea Cutler

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Like the best of modern-day artists, Chelsea Cutler got her start with a series of self-produced work on SoundCloud before realizing she had a hit on her hands with “Your Shirt.” The single, which has been streamed over 65 million times on Spotify alone, is only one of many impeccably heartfelt electronic pop gems the artist currently holds in her repertoire. Then there is the fact that Cutler recently dropped a joint EP with Jeremey Zucker earlier this year, the same Zucker who is also on this year’s Governors Ball lineup. Special guest surprise anyone?

Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever

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Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever finds themselves in the unique position of both having the longest name of any artist playing Governors Ball this year and being one of this year’s best-kept-secrets. Self-described as a “tough pop/soft punk” outfit, the Australian band delivers dynamic rock and roll that is underscored by a penchant for dry wit and sprawling lyrical tangents. It is the sort of music perfectly fit for losing yourself in, whether that be in an island off New York or in the band’s fondness for expansive instrumentation that calls to mind the heyday of the art punk movement.

Ric Wilson

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If you were to ask Ric Wilson to describe his music, chances are you would find yourself on the receiving end of a list of genres that are as expansive as the music the Chicago artist creates. Nouveau disco rap, electrified motivational funk hip-hop poet, gospel rapper, and more may begin to explain the colorful world of Wilson, but it feels like we are still only scratching the surface of one of Chicago’s future stars. So why should you go see Wilson? Well, if the above did not make it apparent enough, no one else is quite making music like he is.

Injury Reserve

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Injury Reserve is an alternative rap trio whose music traces a line from the golden era of hip-hop, á la A Tribe Called Quest and Black Sheep, to the daily and political struggles of modern day living. Championed as the next wave of underground rap, the Arizona-based trio will be hitting Governors Ball hot off the heels of their acclaimed self-titled album, which features everything from Elon Musk references to features from Freddie Gibbs, Rico Nasty, DRAM, and Aminé. Plus, as anyone who has been to an Injury Reserve show can attest, there is no shortage of energy to be found in that mosh pit.

Calpurnia

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In many ways, Calpurnia reads as act one of a yet-to-be-conceived nostalgia-laden indie film. The project of four teenagers and close friends who all found a shared bond in the classic music of the Beatles, Nirvana, and David Bowie, it felt like destiny that they would come together in the hopes of creating a generation-defining rock band. And with the release of their debut EP, Scout, Calpurnia proved they were well on their way to do so. A phenomenal collection of emotionally-driven garage rock with lyrics that touched upon subject matter well beyond their years, Calpurnia is undoubtedly here to stay.

Tobi Lou

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There is a pervasive effervescence to the music of Tobi Lou. Hailing from Chicago by way of Nigeria, the rising rapper crafts music that is as lively as the animated cover art and visuals that often accompany his idyllic sonics. Yet, this is no mere child’s play. Behind the buoyancy of Tobi Lou’s work is an undeniable gift for spirited hip-hop that is equal parts infectious and brimming with lyrical depth. If you do not want to be kicking yourself come Monday, do not miss out on catching Tobi Lou at Governor’s Ball.

#governors ball #governors ball 2019 #easy life #njomza #elohim #cautious clay #rolling blackouts coastal fever #chelsea cutler #ric wilson #injury reserve #calpurnia #tobi lou #ones to catch

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pinkletterday · 6 years ago

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In which Hussie says to hell with it and talks about all her slash WiPs even though she has no idea when they will be posted.

I love Olivarry and Coldflash. But my problem with reading those fics are that I miss Iris like a limb if she's not also part of Barry.

I felt the same way before I ever shipped Westallen, and I didn't even ship them for the longest time. Nor was I particularly interested in Iris as a character until sometime mid-way S3.

(It was when she burst into frightened tears in 3x9. Something in me immediately went PROTECC and it hasn't turned off since.)

I think it was more the sheer intensity of Barry's love for her that fascinated me. Not that a man fixating on a woman and obsessively pinning all his happiness on her is new or healthy phenomenon, but it was also deeper than that, character-wise. His love for her is so tied up in his self-definition, and the myriad ways their childhood bond helped mould their adult selves.

(And the fact that no matter how this love can change in nature, he will never be immune to appreciating her beauty and sexuality as a woman, which is so important to me as a slash fan and WoC. Seeing women be desexualized unless they're active romantic interests makes me want to scream. You can find people attractive af without wanting to bang them! It doesnt make you any less close! Not all close m/f relationships have to be sibling-like! Aargh!)

Regardless of how it came about, I need Iris to have that importance in Barry's life no matter who (else?) he's in love with. Which is why I started writing slash myself. It's a relief to me to know that she's there in every story I write, like a personal touchstone if nothing else. There you are my darling, you aren't forgotten.

Coldflash vs Olivarry polyam AU - Barry's love for Iris and the pain of her rejection is the springboard of the series. His struggle to reconcile with her over the years drives his character trajectory as much his love for Len and Oliver does. And there is so much she sees and evolves and goes through herself that the stupid boy cannot see until the very end, caught up in his own pain as he is.

The Assistant Verse - Barry and Iris are queerplatonic partners in a poly sexual relationship. Iris is the one who dolls up her boy in lipstick and booty shorts and sends him into Len's path in Paint It Red. Many years later, in Every Kind of Love, she descends wrathfully on Oliver from half a world away for doing her darling wrong, bringing her own broken heart for Barry to nurse.

This is one of the most wholesome Westallen relationships I have ever written, even though I'm pretty sure it will generate the least interest.

For The Good of the Realm - in the first draft Iris was Barry's first love and heartbreak pulled apart by politics, but in the second revision they're again queerplatonic partners and childhood best friends who call each other "soulmates". They had hoped to be married to each other and be kept safe from political matches. But then Barry becomes betrothed to High King Oliver and must be sent to Starling Court as the reluctant new Prince Consort, while Iris sets out on her mission to emancipate the tribes of the Middle Kingdom. They gift each other two halves of a magical "heartstone", a conduit of emotional resonance that connects two people across leagues of distance. In the fear, alienation and intrigue of the Starling Court, its Iris's love and safety that Barry holds onto, even while he falls in love with his husband.

Call Me By Your Name - Barry and Iris go to Greece in the summer before college, each hoping it will lead to a resolution to the magnetic push and pull they've been feeling for years. But when Barry meets and falls in love with Oliver and realizes he's gay, he is devastated at both breaking Iris's heart and not being in love with her. Because he really wants to be; she's always been his home and the future he's envisioned - to lose that terrifies him. It's a story about Barry and Oliver's sexual and romantic awakening, but also about how Barry and Iris manage to break down their own expectations of what it means to love one another forever and build something much truer and real.

A Stitch in Time is solidly Queenwestallen now. I was going to have Iris evolve into an undefined queerplatonic partner for Barry and Oliver but that ship is long gone.

For Love Or Money - Barry and Iris were childhood sweethearts and married young, Barry's tech startup and her career both took off. By their mid-twenties they should be the couple that has it all.

Except for Iris finally realizing she's ace and sex-repulsed. This is a terrible shock to both of them and not a small blow to Barry's self-esteem because she's the only woman he's ever been with. But they decide they're too in love to divorce and Iris tentatively suggests that Barry takes the opportunity to explore his interest in men, leading him to engage Oliver's services as an escort. Iris has to discover for herself what it means to be an asexual woman but Barry falling in love with Oliver is an issue they both have to deal with as a couple. Meanwhile Oliver has to reconcile the fact that not only is he falling for a client but one who is very much in love with his wife.

Mercury Rising - my Earth-13 Coldflash mob boss AU and oh is Iris ever there! This is my most delicious iteration of her - not as Barry's support but as his combatant, his antagonist and the eternal thorn in his side. Her unwitting role in Barry's betrayal that drives him to criminality, her bull-headed faith in the goodness of his character even in the face of his escalating violence, calling him to account every step of the way till he does the one thing she cannot forgive. The resulting single-minded determination to take her former best friend down without compromising her own moral code even as the undeniable magnetism between the two of them wreak havoc with their lives, and final realization that even after everything she can never give up on Barry Allen. Hate is truly just love with its back turned and what makes them tear each other to pieces even as it brings out their noblest and most human instincts.

Queen of Starling - On Earth 42, Beatrice Allen is adopted by Harrison Wells when her parents are murdered and taken away to Starling City - but even distance can't make her less in love with the best friend she left behind.

Here's the kicker of this story - Iris dies. Her death bisects Beatrice's story in two - the halycon days of her girlhood and the shattered trauma of the next fifteen years where she has to collect the pieces of herself out of her lover's grave to rebuild herself into the mother her children need, the superhero the world needs and to let herself love again.

The Awakening - Curse specialist Iris West and alchemist/ lore master Barry Allen are part of the Men of Letters team that go into a old cursed and haunted mansion to retrieve the Book Of The Dead, last known to have been in the hands of disgraced former Man of Letters and necromancer Eobard Thawne. The team is led by their chapter's chairman Harrison Wells, but the expedition is funded by eccentric millionaire and hunter Oliver Queen.

The blue-collar hunters and elitist Men of Letters don't trust Oliver, being seen as a mere hobbyist or thrill-seeker in the absence of any real tragedy or family legacy to put him on his path. But Iris distrusts him because she's the only one who can see his clear attraction to her best friend and childhood sweetheart Barry. Iris has spent her life as Barry's protector, himself being something of a pariah in the community due to his rumoured supernatural parentage and open empathy for the spirits and monsters they hunt. It's Iris that sees the way the house draws in both Barry and Oliver and the patterns of the hauntings that occur around them, she's the one who is as terrified for Barry's safety as Oliver as the house sucks them deeper into the tragedy of its past and she's the one that finally deduces how the malevolence of the house works and what it wants.

From Dusk Till Dawn - I think this is the story that has Iris in it the least. Eobard kidnaps Barry at age fifteen and subjects him to an experiment that backfires badly, leaving him dead and Barry with only a fraction of powers he was destined to have and no connection to the Speed Force. ARGUS immediately finds him and forces him to manufacture a rift with the Wests so they can claim him without suspicion, mould him into one of their operatives and train him to hunt the other metahumans Eobard created.

This is an Olivarry story where Barry rediscovers hope and love through his secret protection of Oliver. But its the memory of Iris's love and the happiness of their childhood that keeps him tethered to his humanity through the next eight years, it is her that he goes to the night before what he believes will be his final sacrifice ("You have always been the best part of me. Keep that part of me inside your heart and I can never die. Keep me and don't let me go, Iris"), it is her, after everything, that leads him home, and it is her that seeks out Oliver and asks him to help Barry heal.

This is not including my Coldwestallen fics The Scarlet Rose (Snow Queen/ Beauty and the Beast fusion) and The Adventures of Snart The Cat (Bastet turns Len into a cat and charges him with protecting Barry and Iris's unborn child).

So yes, I absolutely started writing slash because I missed Iris West. It's not just her though. None of the ladies are relegated to ship support. In the Polyam AU Lisa Snart specifically rips into Barry for ignoring her emotional needs as a friend while on the outs with Len, Oliver's fixation with Barry in Stitch in Time and resulting neglect of his friendship with Laurel has serious repercussions, Caitlin couldn't give less of a damn about Barry's romantic exploits in her incarnations as Killer Frost. Even in For The Good of the Realm where he's her foster brother and charge, Caitlin is more wrapped up in manoeuvring him away from court intrigue, legitimizing her own presence at his side and being a ball of identity issues. And I absolutely love my dark!Felicity AUs where she is outright antagonistic and disapproving of Barry's love interests and sometimes of Barry himself. In the Olivarry stories where she is supportive and sympathetic, Felicity and Oliver themselves still acknowledge their own romantic potential. Which means Barry and Oliver falling in love creates tension between the three of them, and the men have to learn how not to hurt her or take her support for granted while they figure themselves out.

The relationships between men and women in every flavour and intensity makes stories so much richer and deeper and three dimensional. I am done being conditioned as a woman to erase ourselves when we inhabit the bodies and stories of m|m men.

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sirengenerator · 7 years ago

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i am your wish, your dream come true / and i am your darkest nightmare, too.

sometimes ya gotta write a piece about your main antagonist ya dig? sometimes you gotta write about your main antagonist manipulating your other characters. titled after this song from next to normal.

tws for manipulation to the billionth degree and abuse(?) antigone takes on a surrogate-parental role in z’s life in order to manipulate them and it gets sketchy.

Of Antigone’s many forms, there is a single constant. This aspect has become its calling card, in many aspects.

However, you wouldn’t notice that constant unless you were looking closely, so it’s pointless to mention.

Z is a younger siren, characterized by their human appearance and mannerisms. Antigone thinks them acceptable.

It finds them outside of a club. Human social spheres are always bustling, and the light becomes too much for Antigone at times, but it is an easy place to find targets. Victims or otherwise.

Z sits on the bench outside, smoking a cigarette. Antigone takes a seat beside them. The two of them have spoken a few times before, and they will speak again. Antigone needs time to sink its claws into Z in order to truly understand them.

And when it truly understands them, it will be something to fear.

“The thing with younger sirens,” it says, voice low and melodic, “is that they have no place where they truly belong. No motivations.” It has taken the form of a shorter human, with cropped hair and long nails. Its eyes are round and its ears are a little bigger than what would be considered usual.

(It is important to nail the flaws if you want to gain the trust of someone. To seem more human to them, despite employing a distinctly nonhuman part of them; because, and this is crucial, you are appealing to their human side. To the side that wants something worth more than a simple meal.

This is why sirens like Z are ideal. They are profoundly human, and their strings can be tugged accordingly.)

Z snorts, but there is a second where they falter. Where they think, do I have no motivation, and that is the moment Antigone watches for. “And how old are you?”

Too old. Far too old for you to comprehend. “Old enough,” it says, “I do hope you come to understand, Z. Life is not so simple as the younger generation makes it out to be. There are debts to be paid in life.”

“Whatever,” Z blows smoke out of their mouth, “I don’t get you, man.”

Antigone smiles like it knows something—it’s a perfect smile. The kind of smile that Z wants to see—and shrugs. There isn’t much that needs to be said.

“Maybe you don’t understand right now,” their voice in this form is comforting, and that is by design. It’s meant to catch Z off-guard. To make them peek over the walls they have set up. Antigone keeps up its smile.

“Someday you might.” It stands and it walks away.

There is something cruel in that. Something cruel in saying someday you might, because it’s exactly what Z wants to hear.

Z wants to believe that someone holds out a hope for them—that someone wants them to understand. Antigone knows, because its purpose is to know these things. To know the deepest desire of any person that it intends to lure to its side, to employ to its purpose.

It was once every siren’s purpose, but it has been diluted. There are sirens who fight against that dilution, who say that it is a downfall, but Antigone is not one of those sirens, screaming for a history that is confusing and disappointing.

After all, assimilation with humanity—the closest relationship of sirenkind, their prey and their coexisting society—is inevitable. Antigone could not stop such a thing even if it wanted to, and it doesn’t want to. In truth, Antigone is aiming for something far different.

(It wants a proper burial. Redemption for an improper sacrifice.)

"I just. I miss my mom sometimes,” Z says. The statement marks the beginning of their wrongdoing. Antigone nods, sympathy creeping into its body language.

Z stares at the ceiling. They’re in a hotel, because Z has no home to speak of, and Antigone has no intentions other than to sway them to a cause they have no reason to care for. Antigone is there to give Z a reason to care.

They say, “I miss being loved, and I guess that’s pathetic.” Z is self-depreciating and self-pitying. Z is isolated, but not alone. They have a myriad of people who they could go to, but they refuse.

Antigone preys upon that. Upon that weakness. Upon that need for love.

They say, “I miss having people who cared about me, even a little. Even when I didn’t deserve it.” Z is getting choked up on their own words. Gods, they might even cry. Their grasp a handful of the hotel comforter.

Antigone places a hand on Z’s shoulder, “I care,” it says.

(Z wants a mother, says the primeval, whispering voice in Antigone’s head. Z wants someone to care about them.

Antigone will care about them, if that’s what it takes.)

Antigone plays mother when it pulls on Z’s strings. When it sends them to Greece to locate the last of the tribe sirens and when it demands information from them, it plays mother.

Z makes it ridiculously easy to control them, for all they want is praise. To be loved. To be cared about. To have the hand of kindness extended to them.

(There is a saying about the nightmare. The most chilling of nightmares—the one that truly rocks you to your core—does not begin as a nightmare. It is a dream, a blissful unreality, until it twists and turns and breaks.)

Antigone has been using a new form lately. A familiar one. Humanoid and wiry, with brown hair and marks of exhaustion under its narrow eyes. It doesn’t completely imitate Selma—the nightmare must ease into being a dream, lest the ruse be exposed too early—but it becomes part of her. It echoes her.

(If only it could get the fucking eyes.)

Antigone’s eyes, when it shifts forms, are unchanging. The irises cannot change color. Pitch black and void, much like Antigone is when it isn’t imitating, becoming something else, changing.

Antigone’s eyes are its calling card.

fantasies is the unofficial sequel to this if you wanna see z cry about their conflicting feelings.

i’ve switched from referring to antigone by they/them pronouns to it/its pronouns. that’s liable to change if it proves confusing or too difficult but i think it might work better.

#antigone tag #z tag #bubbles at the surface

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worddonor · 7 years ago

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...Aaah ah

"Suit and taaah aah ah!" "Watch out fa mee, I'm aboouuut to glow-oh..." Tired. Tired of being a naai. Tired of living like a weak piece of k#k. Tired of swallowing my hopes and dreams and giving in to a st attitude of laziness and listlessness and fear and anxiety and f#*+ing depression (forgive my foul mouth Lord, they need to feel my frustration). No man. Jesus didn't bleed out on a wooden cross so I can wish and wish and wish, blatantly ignoring the grace and power he bestowed upon me and every single person on Earth to possess. If we just listened to Him, His Word and took possession of our destinies, of our own unique personas: who we were MADE to be, we'd be changing the world...not fudging looking at the next man to try and do what he's doing or the next lady to duplicate her path and then getting sad because we could never achieve the greatness they do no matter what we do. Of course we couldn't do that as well as the person we're eyeing: why!? Because you're an eye and that person is a hand. Finish and kla. An eye can't hold a hammer, it can look hard at that hammer and wish it could fling it around but it can't. What it CAN do is make sure that hand knows where the fudge it should be hammering otherwise it's swinging in no man's land moering everything in range except for its intended target. What good is that? How many times must this story be told before it hits home?? I should take my own damn advice, for fudge-sake. I've been doing this my entire life, you'd think I'd get it by now, but usually relationships are formed through things we have in common or can all relate to. This usually means aligning with people who have the same interests and joining a group or keeping up with a particular crowd to feel that 'deep' sense of connection we NEED to ignite those explosions of tangible 'happiness' or contentment...to feel loved (or what we think is love)...to feel like we belong to something/someone...to feel like we matter at all. We're humans man. Sometimes we just want to be part of a tribe - it feels good, it's comforting. It's good to follow positive influences, but if following a path or people comes at the expense of our individuality, principles and unique gifts for the purpose of fitting in: it's destructive and drives us away from purpose and the paths and people we should be following. We were not made to live as silos or islands alone, even I get a buzz from having a stimulating chat with folk. You instantly feel better about life, especially about whatever struggles you're facing internally or your circumstances at home etc. It brings perspective and genuine joy. Why don't we look to who made us and ask Him for guidance? My whole life I've been comparing and writing basically full-on essays about other people, their strengths compared to my myriad weaknesses...comparing myself to John, comparing myself to Jill, beating myself up, hating myself because I could never be as confident or as cool or as athletic or dance as good or be as quick-witted or work as fast, or work as cleanly and as beautifully with my hands or make friends as easily as John or Jill. I could never be as sure of myself as them or as content with my personality, not even my strengths let alone my quirks and weaknesses. I still don't understand my strengths - only God can show me what I'm good at so I'm going to try listen and see what he says, say what you will if you think I'm a mal naai - I probably am. What has this mal naai got to lose in any case seeing as I'm basically talking to myself on this piece of twak blog. I actually enjoy reading other people's daily entries, even if it's mundane crap, I don't know why - I love people's stories and getting to know their weird and wonderful perspectives yet making small talk in person is like climbing Mount blady Everest for a man, goodness. I make too many excuses, stuff that noise. I must make a greater effort, so what if I'm shit - I have to keep falling on my face until one day when I make that step and it's glorious; absolutely fudging spectacular and nothing but winning follows thereafter - I can pat myself on the back for a job well conquered. Going to Vegas and riding around with my cousin having experienced the life he's built for himself overseas inspired me: I had never felt so free and so full of positivity as the time spent with him. Goodness. Plus he actually enjoys my writing, the poetry or the prose or whatever else - he enjoys it and can't wait for me to write more. That in itself is enough to keep me going as he is someone I admire a great deal (we've come a long way), it helps me get up in the morning I won't lie. BTW did I mention that I prayed out loud (medium volume levels, lol) in a small group at church yesterday?? Sounds like nothing, but you cannot believe how intimidating it is for me to speak at ALL with anyone other than family especially in prayer - even though it was just my mother and another church member (albeit someone we all know well, he has quite a strong personality and is deeply knowledgeable of the Word [is that correct English?], academically inclined, works out so has a decent physical frame [it matters bru] and not afraid to share his views about anything, definitely no push over). I held my own although I fluffed a bit when I hit a wall towards the end of the prayer there, but I was proud of myself - me, proud of something I did? Is the sky falling? Are we all gonna burst into flames on New Year's Eve?? Yes, I was pleased that I didn't wuss out like I always do. I manned the fudge up and went for it despite stammering and all that jazz. Of course God knows I'm capable of much more - I limit myself, so it probably wasn't much for Him. I have prayed before, but it's been years since I've been in that setting and felt confident enough to add my two cent-chees there. Anyway, coming back to today...yesterday may have contributed to why I was so upset today at the end of the day...I felt like I was slow because there were tasks I couldn't complete that I tried to make and time ran out...I knew for a fact my colleagues would have finished what they needed to on time...even walking out the door I felt like I was unable to keep up with them without sweating a bit by trying to move faster...I just felt stupid, I know making any decision is kak-hard for me to do fast if at all so I have always felt like I was holding everyone up and still feel like this. This includes holding myself up which is keeping me from moving forward. It's terrible. The last thing I want to do is make people wait, because I hate waiting as much as the next person, but shit man I'm such a damn slow poke. My head keeps wheel-spinning and getting nowhere. Ai. I love looking at the sky though and the clouds and at details of things around me and at people and their quirks and habits, especially their body language...it's soo interesting, I could people-watch for daayyyzzz bru. I enjoy reading so much too...Just tryna figure us out... Anyway, as of recently, for the first time in my Life, my WHOLE LIFE, I can sense my purpose taking shape, I feel a peace that I've NEVER felt before, NEVER! The Holy Spirit is speaking to me and guiding me and it's being proven to me each and every day I take a step of faith [note: a STEP!], words from different sources (twitter, the Bible, Facebook, my dreams, Youtube videos [Prince Ea whaddup!], the books I'm reading, the things I watch on TV): ALL of it. When I act in faith, another little door opens. When I shimmy a tad forward, another window opens and so it goes. I'm enjoying this...like the Bible says in more eloquent terms though, 'Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.' (Psalm 119:105) - just a lamp, not full daylight, just enough to keep me going forward and to keep me holding on to it, to keep me looking into it for for further guidance as I take my next step in the dark. For the first time in my 30 years in existence, I've felt a weight lift from my shoulders regarding purpose. The Lord said he's got my back, so I'm just going to keep taking life one step at a time (my mother also said this the other day...one day at a time - I was frustrated then too, but it's a good strategy, my previous methods haven't worked so it's time I try this.). Who knows what I'll be doing next, where I'll be doing it and with whom :). Peace people. P.S. Las Vegas was phenomenal and I was treated like a king at the fam's home. The US is a beautiful place (saw the Grand Canyon, went wild at Six Flags Magic Mountain and even made it through to Venice Beach :D - my favourite place if I must be honest), I'll definitely be back soon.

#peace #purpose #power #grace #Psalm 119:105 #realisation #proud moment #content #musing #LBHJ

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workfromhomeyoutuber · 5 years ago

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Modern Tribe: WordPress Technical Support

Headquarters: Minneapolis, Minnesota URL: https://tri.be/

The Opportunity

Our team is growing and we’re looking for a seriously support-loving person to add to the mix. We currently provide technical support for a growing suite of WordPress plugins through the forums we run and manage on our website, but have hit a spot where extra help building relationships with our customers will make a world of difference.

We’re looking for someone for around 10-15 hours a week to help us go the extra mile when customers reach out for help with the both the tech-y and less tech-y side of things, like bug reports, feature requests, product reviews, account access and questions about product features.

However, we won’t lie. This will be a fast-paced position where a successful person will be genuinely happy to help customers with a myriad of questions. There are more than 400,000 active installs of The Events Calendar running on websites around the world and many of them have questions that require timely assistance.

Support is at the center of everything we do here at Modern Tribe, we want you to help our community thrive.

Inclusion Statement

Modern Tribe is committed to a culture that embraces diversity and inclusion. We foster an environment of collaboration, open engagement, fairness and respect regardless of differences in age, race, disability, national origin, gender identity, religion, sexual orientation or veteran status. As a hybrid workspace ranging from distributed contractors to traditional employees, we value the unique perspectives and experiences of our global team.

We come from all walks of life. We are small business owners. We are tattoo aficionados and 80’s movie buffs and ex-pats. We are homeschool teachers. We are single parents. We are musicians, college drop-outs, and entrepreneurs. We are travelers, feminists, runners, volunteers, and makers. We are a Modern Tribe.

Everyday we strive to fulfill our motto: live well and do good work. We hope you will consider joining us.

Responsibilities

Moderating the support inbox, ensuring customers and potential customers receive responses within 24 hours of submission

Field incoming feature requests and document them for consideration in the roadmap

Take point on the WordPress.org forums for our core plugin offerings

Testing bug reports locally and logging them in our projects system, with appropriate detail and testing instructions, when a bug is confirmed as legitimate

Pre-release quality assurance testing for every new release and product

Recording video walkthroughs highlighting plugin functionality

Creating tutorials, documentation, screencasts and other forum materials to help guide people to success

Writing snippets to solve one-off problems

Helping run regular user testing sessions

Being the voice of the community during roadmap discussions

Supporting product partners (other theme/plugin authors) and nonprofits

Personal Competencies

Strong communication skills

Experience working as part of a remote team

Self-motivated, detail-oriented

Strong organizational skills

A methodical approach to all tasks

Ability to prioritize workloads and meet deadlines

Fluent English speaker

Knowledge & Experience

Strong communication and/or experience working as part of a remote team

A strong comprehension of PHP, CSS, HTML and JavaScript and can provide 4-5 original code samples to back it up. This is important because our products are highly technical, and you will not succeed without these skills.

A love for all things WordPress with a good understanding of its codebase and community

Basic familiarity with The Events Calendar, our main product. Bonus points for experience using any of premium add-ons, such as Events Calendar PRO. We will ask about this in the interview so be sure to check out theeventscalendar.com and our complete product line.

Experience working with GitHub or other repo-sharing platforms. In other words, you can clone repos, pull branches and set up local WordPress installs without hassle.

Self-motivated, detail-oriented, strong organizational skills, with a methodical approach to all tasks

Ability to prioritize workloads and meet deadlines

Additional Experience (Bonus Points)

Have built your own WordPress plugins. Double bonus points if those plugins extend The Events Calendar.

Love doing video tutorials and have a home setup to do it

Have a proven track record providing support specifically for WordPress plugins, or have an active track record in the WordPress.org community

Location

Work from anywhere in North, Central or South America. If your timezone is outside of US business hours, but you work at least 3+ hours of overlap each day, let's chat. You must be fluent in English. You just need a computer and a strong wifi signal to support daily video chats with the Tribe.

Compensation

Pay range is $15-$20/hour commensurate with qualifications and experience. We are currently looking for freelance contractors about 15-20 hours a week for this gig.

Perks

We believe that distributed working is a way of life. We understand what it means to work remotely. We offer consistency in expectations, payment, and support. We believe in learning from each other and fostering personal growth. You can expect to learn a lot while working with us.

(Also, if you work enough with us, we’ll bring you on the team trips.)

Who We Are

Modern Tribe, Inc. is a rapidly growing software & design company. We develop custom solutions for some of the world’s largest companies, government institutions and smaller growing organizations. We pride ourselves on our ability to bridge people and technology and to bring the passion and dedication of an entrepreneur to every project. Our team is composed of talented employees and freelancers around North & South America (and a smattering across the globe).

Who You Are

We love working with each other because we have built a culture that suits us well. We work primarily with freelancers and coordinate their talents for large projects. To be on our team, you must be:

HAPPY: Where there is a will, there is a way. Having a positive disposition allows us to achieve great things and to support each other.

HELPFUL: Always looking for ways that you can help others.

CURIOUS: It is essential that you have a passion for learning. Technology changes daily, and life has a way of constantly raising the bar.

ACCOUNTABLE: Our clients expect us to get the right thing done on budget and on time. Communicating expectations and meeting them is the cornerstone of success.

To apply: https://modern-tribe.breezy.hr/p/d9281c3c603b-wordpress-technical-support?source=weworkremotely

from We Work Remotely: Remote jobs in design, programming, marketing and more https://ift.tt/37Gub7q from Work From Home YouTuber Job Board Blog https://ift.tt/37LmlJB

#WorkFromHome #OnlineJobs #RemoteJobs #Entrepreneur #WorkFromHomeJobs #WorkAtHomeJobs #Self Em

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0poole · 5 years ago

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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Good God.

I finally managed to watch the final episodes of the show, and even though it wasn’t the most pitch-perfect ending ever (and even though I skipped like all of the final season), I still gotta dish out my thoughts on the whole thing. It’s not my tippy-top most favorite show, but it’s definitely the one with the most lasting impact on me. I mean, considering it created one of the biggest fandoms of all time, I’m pretty sure I’m far from alone there.

Obviously have to start from the beginning. I think I got into MLP around the 2nd season, maybe in the middle of it but definitely before the 3rd. I don’t exactly remember, since it was so long ago, but the first two seasons might hold some of the most saccharine, mindless nostalgia of all. Every single episode holds some spot in my memory, even the filler episodes with the cheesy notes to Celestia at the end of them. Honestly those were adorable, even if they were the classic kid’s show trope of “Let’s explain the moral to the kids who don’t have half a brain” but it’s actually pretty charming. That’s nostalgia talking, by the way. Obviously. If I found a new show today that did that, I’d roll my eyes a little, and I probably did when I was first watching the show.

But, it’s an understatement that this was my life. Of course, I was at that time of my life where one thing could very easily become my entire world, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t matter to me. The pretty solid, unchanging artstyle gave me an opening to try and draw it, and for years I exclusively drew ponies, and even when I had a human character, I’d only be able to draw them in pony form, so I ended up meshing their stories into fanfiction on how they could become ponies. My “Icon” character at the time, Satyr, was probably the first original character I drew, and I can still remember the exact drawing I made of him. Obviously a pony, he was sort of larger and masculine, conveniently blinking eye so I didn’t have to deal with that, basic hair/tail styles, and for some reason a jagged zig-zag pattern going laterally across his body, like those “How would a horse wear pants?” memes. I thought it was really good, so I kept going, and here I am ages later still drawing stuff. I couldn’t even bare to fully ditch the shitty characters I made (and I’m going to explain them without context because I just feel like it): Satyr got split into his immortal and prince-ly side; Diane, a manic serial killer, shrunk down but kept her impossibly anxious personality; Gaseous is basically all the same, except he doesn’t meet the rest of the crew in what parts of his story I know about; Sistenagon (here we go with the weird names, they don’t mean anything) still kept his (her? Don’t actually remember which I called it) wasp-y nature, except in the form of an insect-based fairy tribe leader; Stelerachyt, who I drew as a Diamond Dog, is still a big, fluffy, dog, but turned into a more regal and kingly type of person; and Myriad Alloy (the only one with an actual pony name) got a complete makeover, and actually became my favorite end result after all is said and done.

Like, I love ranting about these guys. They were basically my own Mane Six. And yes, Satyr TOTALLY dated Twilight. Why wouldn’t he? Main character a Main character. Plus, he was supposed to be me, and I totally wanted to hit that. I’m not ashamed to admit it.

I mean, I guess a big part of why I actually went down that path was because of the large fanbase. I didn’t begin with the beginning of the show, but I guess I came in with the first large wave, so all of the stuff I made got just enough attention to make me think people wanted to see what I was making. If I started out with OCs, no one would’ve cared, and I very well could’ve stopped.

Even apart from that, this show definitely kick started my downward spiral into femininity. I mean, it’s pretty self-explanatory. Everyone “knew” MLP as being something super shallow, only to be enjoyed by shallow little girls, then they pumped out Friendship is Magic and everyone else loved it, so I gave it a shot, and I loved it too. Obviously every fandom has the people who openly, irrationally hate them, but the whole thing was welcoming enough to keep it solidified in my mind, and bish bash bosh, it kept going and will probably keep going into eternity. It’s funny, even then I drew Satyr with the more feminine pony design (not entirely because drawing the male pony type was harder), so I was setting myself up for the future.

I guess this kind of gives me a window to talk about My Life as a Teenage Robot, because for as long as I could remember before actually watching the show, I seriously despised any instance of XJ9 I could find. If an image of her popped up on screen, I would close it faster than if it was porn found while around my parents. I don’t know why she was so harshly ingrained in my mind. You could argue I just hated “girly” stuff before I realized I actually loved it, and didn’t want to face my emotions, but I wasn’t exaggerating at all about that porn thing. I actually couldn’t look at her for more than a second. But, one day I decided to cave in and see what was up, and soon enough she became one of my favorite cartoon characters of all time.

Back to ponies, some of the content produced by the fandom also had some extremely fond memories in my mind. I think I still have some songs by The Living Tombstone and WoodenToaster on my MP3 player (partially because it’s just good stuff) and for some reason playing on MLP-themed TF2 servers was actually really fun too. Some notable fandom people reacting to recent episodes was a spectacle I always looked forward to, and I still am subscribed to Saberspark and Ratchet on Youtube after all this time, probably as well as various other people who are still there but haven’t posted anything since the settling of the fandom. I just remembered, Hotdiggetydemon probably qualifies for all that too, since his .Mov series was the talk of the whole fandom. That, and Friendship is Witchcraft. I had to re-look up the name of that one though, but I still loved it.

I guess I should play favorites, huh? Favorites was the one game everyone in the fandom played.

Favorite episode: Can’t not be a tie between the 2-parters of Season 2. Discord is a riot, and Chrysalis is actually one of my favorite villain designs of all time. I’m a sucker for both shapeshifters and bugs, so you can’t expect me to not like her. Glad she rode the villain boat till the very end, although reformed Discord is definitely fine too. Plus, the rest of the Changelings turned anyway.

Favorite song: You expect me to not tie things up here? The Flim Flam brother’s Super Cider Squeezy 6000 is great, as are the brothers themselves, and I also love This Day Aria, since it’s the focal point where people realized this show seriously wasn’t just colorful, cute ponies. The Art of the Dress is also pretty catchy.

Actually, just remembered. Under Our Spell might be it. Took me a while to remember the EQG stuff, but that song is seriously good, and unironically better than the generic dribble that somehow magically beat it.

Favorite background pony(ies): Vinyl and Octavia are a pretty cute duo, and with the killer duet in the Slice of Life episode, ya gotta love em. Funny thing, though: There’s this background pony that looks almost identical to my current self-insert pony OC, with purple hair and a grey coat, with a seemingly writing-based cutie mark and green eyes. He’s even a unicorn too. It wasn’t intentional, I swear.

Favorite CMC: Sweetie Belle is too much. Her little squeaks are too pure. I can’t take it. Applebloom has nice colors, though.

Favorite Princess: If you don’t say Luna you’re a cop

Favorite non-pony species: Obviously Changelings, but after their reformation the honors actually switch to the Kirins, just because of how cool they look. The Yaks are pretty fun too. Speaking of…

Favorite nu-Mane Six (or are they called the School Six? Whatever, you know what I mean): All Yona. And yes, I had to look up her name was, who cares? She’s adorable.

Favorite of the Pillars of Equestria: I honestly love that they made Starswirl an actual character in the show. For the longest time, people just assumed he would stay in the form of Twilight’s Nightmare Night costume forever, but then they actually made him real! That’s really cool.

Favorite Equestria Girls design: Once again, Sweetie Belle steals both this spot and my heart.

And, of course… Favorite of the Mane Six:

Honestly, it just depends on the mood I’m in. Not even remotely lying there.

Fluttershy would’ve been my answer way back then, since I was into the shy types. There’s definitely something still there. You can’t deny that she’s the most cuddly of them all.

Twilight might’ve been a tie for the top around then too, since I was also the too-smart-for-humanity type. That leads into you liking the “smart” ones. Plus, in the latter half of the series, she did feel like she was put one step above the rest of the cast. That kinda makes her feel slightly off, I guess. Still like her, though.

Pinkie Pie’s one of those that I can imagine liking, but if I ever actually had to deal with that much energy I might actually melt. And, not in that I’m-totally-in-love kind of melting. Literal, actual melting.

Rarity, in terms of concept, is easily my favorite type of character for the show. On the surface, she’s the generic fashionista type that every girl’s show has, but instead of her being someone who “just makes clothes” she’s actually seriously hard working and goes through all the regular motions you’d expect from an artist. Turning such a cliche on its head and giving it a much more realistic image is perfect for this show. Also, she’s purple. I like purple.

Not much really needs to be said about Applejack. She really seems like the most logical one of the group, even at the very beginning. That’s great to have when everyone else is acting like spoiled/sheltered brats (at least, when she’s not acting that way either).

But, I really gotta be honest… I’m never really in the mood for Rainbow Dash. She’s like the opposite of AJ, where she’s always some degree of arrogant, and even though watching her achieve her dreams is nice, her big head gets a little annoying for side gags. Also, if you showed me a plain picture of the Mane Six, I would’ve told you she was the main character instead of Twilight, just because she stands out so much more. I mean, the show isn’t called “Twilight Sparkle: Friendship is Magic,” but still.

If you really want a straight answer, I’m in a Rarity mood right now, so I’ll go with that. It’s probably the safest bet, because, like I said, I do love purple. Not just purple, but purple AND white put together. One of my favorite color combinations. Just add a little gold, and you’re, well, you know...

But… Yeah. All good things had to come to an end. I feel like its time came. Plus, they ended the show with the little story book thing they did in the very first episode, so as far as I’m concerned the series is complete. It did its job, anyway.

#mlp #mlp fim #friendship is magic #my little pony #rant #rambling #opinions #nostalgia #poole #cute #mlp 10th anniversary

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