#like every mass effect ship too

[capybonara]

More personal thoughts under a cut

I’m not trying to think about the other day’s rude message but here I am trying to get my thoughts in order. I was vague in my last personal posts because I want to air out my grievances but not in a way that spreads negativity. But for clarity's sake, this message was a private tumblr dm from someone who didn’t follow me. Like, I think they felt they were trying to be helpful, but everything about it screamed "passive aggressive I-know-better-than-you" energy. And the implications it had is what I keep dwelling on; that my characters in my friends comic are/will be terribly written. And I’m like THAT'S MY WORK, THAT’S OUR WORK 😤 and that’s when I spiraled with thoughts like “oh so people who viewed the comic disliked them the whole time? Are my contributions/ideas that bad?”

I've been talking with @semirampant-dwickery and @smackins about this, and how these collaborative projects with zora characters reminded me of CDN. For context, that was a mass effect RP forum I was part of that focused on the lives of OCs. @werewolfsister added this nice response to a comic of mine, and all of this got me thinking about past projects and the kinds of things that worked, did not work, and the troubles we had in the forum.

The basic definition of a collaboration is a project between two or more people to work to create something. Using my own experiences, it was common courtesy to ask others if they were interested in joining in on a project/story. After someone said yes, we started talking about our characters to give each other a basic insight on their personalities, and hopefully we got a rough outline of the idea we wanted to execute and then wrote it out, drew scenes, or both!

The roadblocks I've come across are sometimes characters (and people) don't mesh well. Their ideas might not vibe with mine, and vice versa. As an example, I really enjoyed a lot of slice of life scenarios and many others wanted to do action related plots! And try as we might, a middle ground couldn't be reached so while it was a shame, no harm no foul! The community had mods to keep the peace, so if someone went too far with crossing lines they were given the boot!

You never want problems but at times they happen regardless. One example for myself involved a former writing partner who didn't want to do any work, but they still wanted the rewards of the end game. We talked about developing a ship between characters, but they didn't want to work on the in-between details. Details like first meetings, going out on dates, the realizations, etc. It was difficult to push anything along, and their personal end goal was for our characters to have sex (I guess in accordance to mass effect tradition of “we’ll bang, okay?” haha). I didn't feel comfortable with that and wanted to have the characters build a rapport first. Despite asking questions about their OCs, it usually ended up like this:

“Let’s start with something basic. What’s your characters fav thing to eat” “Your character 😏” “Ew dude cmon” “Lol I dunno, just food”

 which made me go AUGH! 😂😅

So, I started chatting with other forum members who were more than happy to brainstorm and make ideas happen. My character started making friends with other OCs, I joined other threads, but my other writing partner was feeling left out. And I sympathized because I wanted to work on the ship, I wanted them to feel included. Every time we talked though it was like hitting a wall. I was slowly getting the impression they didn't want to write. But they sure didn't complain with the art I drew of their OC! 

There’s a lot of details regarding that experience that's still ick to discuss openly. In the end, they unfortunately got banned for their behavior and it took a while to recover from it.

The happier side was, in time, I began collaborating with other, kinder people again. But after bad experiences I learned how important communication was. My characters got to engage in all kinds of adventures because all people involved were willing to talk. I learned it was important to let others know that I wanted to join something. I couldn't sit in my corner and hope someone noticed me. It was hard, and it still can be now because I'm shy, and bad experiences make me wary to try again. Though later I found out everyone I worked with had the same anxieties so we would discuss how we can help fight those insecurities. @smackins and I would build each other up to make posts because we were so worried we came off as dumb or annoying. And sometimes that's all you need, a little support and the courage to speak up. 

@semirampant-dwickery and I ran into each other by chance via an “in character” argument and his OC challenged mine. Originally, I wasn't going to accept because I was scared and I thought it'd just annoy him. Whenever we talk about it now, he always expresses how happy he was that I accepted his offer to write a thread with our characters meeting. Said meeting ended up being one of my favorites, a lot of improv that included musicals, a hologram room, feasts and a hammer to his OCs face xD

Werewolfsister’ss response to my comic got me waxing sentimental! This method of collaborating is a little different from CDN because it's more art focused but the same process applies. You chat with folks, you work on outlines or do fun improvs on the fly!

The other difference I noticed is how small cameos can turn into stories of their own!  Characters who appeared in her comic regularly are usually because communication continued between people. Some surprise art pieces prompted other people to reply with their own art. Like werewolf’s response said, it's how we ran into each other! I remember a few months back they were asking folks if they had diplomat characters they could include in their comic, and originally I wasn't going to join because of my own anxiety. But I realized nothing ventured, nothing gained, created Kaska and said “here's my submission!”

They later sent me a message asking if the zorca could participate in assisting other characters in a scene, and asked me questions regarding scenarios, and I answered to give an idea of what they could or couldn't do. I was excited for even the smallest role xD so when they asked more questions I gave more answers and ideas! The person who sent their “warning” to me the other day made an assumption my characters were being controlled by her, but everything dealing with them has my hand prints on it as well. Like with my friends on CDN, I offered suggestions, helped when they hit a roadblock and asked if I could contribute with my art!

Thinking on CDN, I know the roadblocks I personally hit was the lack of communication between parties involved. Like with my writing partner who didn't want to help do the work. I ran into others who came and went and the one complaint that stuck out for me was how I formed a “clique” with semirampant-dwickery, but the thing was, I sought their help the most because I knew they were fun and easy to speak with, and they helped me when I hit my own roadblocks. They proved to be a trustworthy and supportive partner! So of course I worked with them often! He’s done so much to write stories to get other members involved. 

I've received messages years later from people who admitted they made assumptions about us, and how anxiety kept them from joining our threads. I still grieve over those missed opportunities at times because I personally thought they were heckin cool! It is what it is though 😔

Because of those experiences and how difficult it can be to organize projects; I want to give werewolfsister praise for their hard work, their positive attitude, and welcoming presence. It's not easy communicating with a number of people, making outlines for the plot, and then drawing a comic where I've literally witnessed you dish out TEN+ PAGES A DAY. And you've been doing this since MAY! It's a lot of things to juggle alone. 

To the casual onlooker, it might look like a simple project with guest appearances she has full control of. But cameos remain cameos unless someone speaks up and offers more info and help. And characters who've had longer appearances were all discussed with her in chats; from permissions, to story outlines and boundaries. I've had the privilege to watch and be part of these discussions 👍 

I kept thinking about disengaging from the zora community, because of how that message had me focusing on the negative. It was one harassment message but honestly that's enough. I know why it came about, and I hate how that kind of negativity made me want to cut off from everything. Wanting to isolate is my knee jerk response because it made me paranoid. Who else am I upsetting? Who else will send more “warnings?” I'm an old millennial, I'm not here to have beef with strangers on the internet.

The paranoia has been an issue for me and that message “cemented” some other worries I had. For example, I made a previous post asking folks if they had characters that played instruments, then tried to clarify if anyone would be okay with their OCs interacting with Cironus. I got a few responses, but the tumblr dm responses I received, however, were details of who not to associate with, along with a fatphobic remark about Cironus. It left me feeling on edge: one wrong move from myself or my character, one piece of art that didn’t depict every detail correctly, and I was guaranteed to set something off.

I understand there are folks who have extremely personal connections to their characters, and I sympathize and respect that. And for the sake of everyone’s mental well being, I’m going to avoid them. Characters carrying that level of weight need complete control by the creator, and collaborating with others by definition means you have to relinquish some of that control. It requires that you retain a modicum of trust that other players are acting in good faith and not out to ruin your character. No one else gives over that control but you.

Collaboration is about trust, communication, and teamwork. CDN thrived when people came together, but if someone didn’t find the idea appealing, they chose to go solo and found other outlets. I came to this community with the hopes of creating stories with others. And if they don’t want that, like it was with the forum, we move on.

I know we can curate our spaces so we are surrounded by the things we enjoy, and choose to be around those who are supportive and understanding, but I’m not feeling very confident about finding more folks to work with. That’s not an invite to say you want to either. I need to think, and writing this helps me think. My original plan was to post about my zorca and Cironus to give what audience that's out there a better idea of my characters. 

As I write this I realize what I’m tired of is having to set things up like I’m preparing for an audition. I just want to draw, I want to include people and make them happy with the things I draw. This is a hobby I’m trying to have fun with. Outside of my friend group, I don’t think I’ve been able to casually share ideas about my characters with other people. I want to be seen, and connect with others. In turn, that usually became a chain of helping others feel seen too.

The negativity makes you feel powerless at times, but we have the ability to build the kind of communities we want. It takes time, it takes people you trust. I don’t want to say “be the change you want to see” because to me it always implied you have to do it alone. And we don’t.  CDN had a set of rules when working with others that allowed the community to last for years, and the one I try to follow the most is don’t be an asshole. Be kind, be respectful, uplift others when you can, and when you take, give back to others as well.

[pinkyjulien]

I really, really hate the "Female V is canon" vs "Male V is canon" debate that been popping here and here in the tags those past weeks

Cyberpunk 2077 is a Role Playing Game, there is no "canon" protagonist, that's the whole point. We all have a different playstyles, different stories and headcanons, our custom V is The Canon V of Our Own playthroughs!

After Phantom Liberty dropped, I've seen a lot of players, on Tumblr or Twitter, voicing their concerne and disappointment in how much more Female V focused the official promo, videos and even in-game credits became

I was one of them too, expressing my feelings multiple times, sometimes awkwardly, frustrated that Male V players were once again brushed to the side, because that's how it feels like, right?

Well, it might feels like it, but this isn't the case AT ALL, far from it. This is only what I would call a "Fandom Phenomenon" and I want to talk more about it a bit

I had a great conversation with a friend of mine who works in the game industry and it opened my eyes on the matter, and I've since been really interested in seeing RPGs statistics!

Because it's really, really important to make the difference between the Casual Player Base (majority of players) and the Fans / Fandom Base (minority of players)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I always been lurking in fandoms here on Tumblr, since Mass Effect, Dragon Age, and now with Cyberpunk 2077 and Baldur's Gate 3

First I want to drop some stats- might be completly wrong, but I'm only sharing my point of view here, in an attempt to explain why some people are frustrated with Female V being the focus (and why we shouldn't be!)

I think it's not wrong to say that fandoms are mostly occupied by women and fem-identifying individuals; fandoms are a safe place for players and fans to share their passions. Women are STILL HEAVILY harassed and hated in the gaming industry as a whole, it doesn't take a lot of digging to catch a vile comment on Twitter or on Twitch for example, you cannot go far without seeing someone either attacking or sexualizing them

This is a huge problem in the industry still, every games that release with a female protagonist get trashed- just look at the bullshit surrounding GTA 6 just because players will be able to play as a woman as an option

Fandoms are also safe for non-gender conforming people, non-binaries, trans people and queer men, but I think fem individuals and women are a clear majority, at least on Tumblr (only talking about genders identity here and not about being queer or not, not talking about sexualities or attraction) (not an official stat at all and only my point of view and experience from being on Tumblr since ~2012)

Now let's talk about Cyberpunk 2077- because this is my main fandom since 2020, and what prompted me to write this post in the first place

CDPR didn't share any stats recently, but it's REALLY SAFE to assume the MAJORITY of players are playing a straight Male V romancing Panam, followed by a lesbian Female V romancing Judy, but the player pools for both options are still majoritarly cis hetero men (and they are still the focus for AAA studios to sell their games, this is sadly just how it is)

However on the fandom side, Fem V was always the focus; virtual photography, mods, ships, OCs... She was always more popular than Male V, getting more interactions and notes and why trends like "Male V monday" were created and why there is still a lack of male V focused mods (non-binaries and trans fem folks and characters are also sadly under-represented in all type of content and art)

So, being yourself as a non-fem player, playing as a Masc V, seeing CDPR officially make the switch from Male V to Female V, when the space you've been in for the past 3 years has been overwhelmingly Female V focused on all front, was a bit of a punch in the guts; like I said earlier, I was reaaally frustrated with this too!

And I'd say it's "normal"? or at least "ok" to feel this way, it makes sense considering how little attention Male V in general get in the fans community

BUT. BUT... It's REALLY important here to realize how we sound and how we look like when we voice our frustrations on the matter; we sound and look just like all the misogynistic people over on Twitter who screams about "woke games" everytime there is a female protagonist in their "non political games". We have to remember that fandoms are suuuch a small part of the game industry

Baldur's Gate 3 recently shared their stats and this interesting tweet got into my dash

▶ tweet

Astarion is nowhere to be seen in the official most romanced companions statistic, but I'm sure a lot of people will agree that he's probably the most popular one in the fandom side!

Another stat here from Mass Effect and really interesting info coming from David Gaider about how the hardcore fanbase aka fandom's choices were WILDLY different from the casual / main player pool

▶ tweet

Getting my head out of the fandom bubbles and seeing the bigger picture, how much under-represented women still are in official medias (not talking about fan content) and how insanly misoginistic the game industry still is, both on the player and devs sides, helped me handle my own frustration on the matter, accept and even celebrate Female V being the focus for the Phantom Liberty campaign

With all that said tho, we all should be able to vent about the lack of Male, Masc and Non-Binary content in the fandom side, while still being aware of the industry state, it CAN co-exist! It doesn't make anyone a bad or misogynist person!

We are all humans and can be awkward and make mistakes, especially when voicing frustration or talking while in a negative mood. Let's educate one another in good-faithed manners when we slip instead of jumping to conclusion and throw accusations

Not gonna lie I kind of lost my train of thoughts and not sure how to finish this post, but I hope this can enlight some people on why CDPR made this choice!

Repeating this as a finale note; this doesn't mean that Female V is the "main" V or "canon" V . It's simply her time to shine, and it's well deserved! The industry needs it

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Incoming very long ramble about the fragility of internet content and the ways some things are impossible or difficult to preserve

The thing that frustrates me most about poppytwt is how fruitless it all feels.

Like, you can't archive or research poppytwt effectively. You can certainly TRY but you'll find very little!!!

You have people who spent years in the poppytwt fandom who can TELL you about fanfics they read, art they saw, friends they made who were deactivated or doxxed or harassed or who committed suicide or are otherwise lost to time, but they'll have almost nothing to show for it because poppytwt was actively designed to be as impossible to trace back as possible, precisely because people were afraid of harassment.

How are you supposed to find, say, Tommy/Tubbo fanfiction? There's some on the actual tag, sure, especially now that poppytwt is for the most part over and it's considered "okay" to ship them now, but I'll tell you right now there are thousands of fics that won't pop up because the fic had no tags whatsoever, or spelled Tubbo like Tvbb0, or used some God awful emoji combination to convey who they were talking about, or were straight up DELETED. Discord servers moved every few years, fanart and fics were usually tagged with censored bullshit or not tagged at all and then taken down and deleted, entire accounts were ALSO deleted, even assuming something was tagged properly it's probably gone.

Most of us in the fandom at the time didn't think to make archives of anything while it was happening, so we've lost like.... probably enough content to make our own small website full of it, and even more chatrooms.

Almost all of the public facing content left is NSFW and/or more controversial kinks like CNC, watersports, etc, which could be because people who post that content are more resistant to criticism anyway but honestly I don't know why that is, and I know sfw content beyond what you can currently find EXISTED, we consumed tons of it back in the day, but it's almost fucking impossible to find!!! And most of it, when you get your hands on a link, is GONE!!!!

It happens with NSFW content too though, if course. Veradie was one of the most popular artists in poppytwt by far and a lot of the art links don't work. Some have archived versions with working links but a lot is gone because the original post leading to it doesn't work, and Veradie, like, the person, is missing. I'm sure she(?) would know a lot about old fandom and might even have archived some stuff, but if you're some sort of internet historian how in the FUCK are you supposed to find her??? She deactivated without a trace!!!

I made friends with a user called Kencydoo on here and one day I logged on and Kency was just GONE without warning or any indication of where they were moving to, no DMs to people they knew, nothing. I don't even know if it was staff or mass reports or a self-deletion. I do know Kency sometimes posted NSFW dead dove stuff and had tags you could block to avoid it, so it's possible one of those posts blew up and got the blog taken down, but I have no level of certainty.

Reese (I think it was Reese?) had people hunting for a "main account" that didn't exist for harassment and doxxing purposes and then ALMOST left (I'm glad you're still here @reesesrambles )

There's no stability for poppytwt content and no real shelf life which means that most of the history and even the harassment that REQUIRED THE EXISTENCE of a seperate fandom is gone. We can describe what the old dsmp fandom was like and why poppytwt exists and what it means but most of the actual concrete fandom blogs or resources are GONE, absolutely obliterated.

Like you can't make a Strange Æons style video about poppytwt, you literally can't, because almost all of it is like the fucking city of Atlantis. There WAS stuff here, but it was constantly sinking.

Most people I know for a fact were involved in poppy honestly just left for the hermitcraft fandom because people over there are like...normal?? The hermitcraft fandom allows RPF and doesn't give a shit about shipping characters who are "sibling coded" or whatever the fuck. They understand the concept of just not clicking on something you don't want to see, instead of launching a twitter cancellation campaign against people. So like if you can talk about a similar, and GOOD source of content that is also actively ongoing and not get shit for it, why would you chose to create for a discontinued peice of content and/or streamers who you WILL get shit on for writing about?? Like if your options are "write grian RPF and be able to not stress and have a fun time" or "write tommyinnit RPF and delete hate comments every day and watch your back constantly" why the fuck would you pick the latter???

And it's frustrating because the fact everything disappears means it feels like you don't even have much to look back on. The friends you made or content you enjoyed about a series you love is all dust now, and if you were into the DSMP for a long time (and therefore in poppytwt for a long time) then it's so much worse. It all adds up.

Anyways that's my ramble on how fucked up it is that entire communities can be lost in an era where things can supposedly be maintained forever does anyone want to drink a caprisun with me

[chaosticbraindo]

Kaijune - day 16: mutation 👽 🛸

Originally a slime like kaiju, the being known as Orga was captured through unknown means and was studied to be used as bio weapons by a space faring species that called themselves Millennians.

After the news of Earth’s reckless usage of Dimensional weaponry and the after effects, the kaijus that now roams the planet, spreads across the universe, the Millennians start making secret operations monitoring and collecting information on the planet. Their purpose? to gather more kaijus for their use.

From their search, they took note to the fact that these beings on earth are different from the one they captured… earth’s kaijus are much more unstable and destructive compared to that of every previously recorded specimens, making capturing and containing one extremely difficult and risky if not nigh impossible.

so they hatched another plan to strengthen their own kaiju, Orga, via collecting samples from the strongest being they monitored and let Orga’s own ability to absorb outside DNA and mutate itself do the rest. Such a task is too hard to do in secret- therefore an all out attack was initiated.

However, this was a critical mistake. Due to Gojira normally peaceful demeanor, they could not anticipated the behemoth’s hidden ability… the atomic breath. Despite the lack of flight, Gojira wiped out an entire fleet of the invaders with a single breath from its mouth and was aiming to continue wiping out the rest. In desperation, the Millennians took a risky maneuver and managed to gather a sample of Gojira’s tissue which they soon used to make their second fatal mistake… in panic they dropped the flesh into orga’s main mass to deployed it, causing the beast to mutate too quickly and broke down the mother ship containing it.

Orga dropped to the ground and splattered before reforming itself into a hideous amalgamation of flesh and bone, a half baked mutation due to the combined lack of sample and the trauma it received from the fall. A malformed fetus of a kaiju…

sensing Gojira to be a source of more viable genetic material, Orga began throwing itself at its new target, recklessly attacking with its massive claws and a form of condensed atomic fog in mimic of Gojira’s own abilities. Despite of its malformed state, the monster was unnaturally powerful. Managing to, at times, overpower even Gojira’s brute strength and break through its defense with the pressurized beams.

what it was lacking, however, was a defense and longevity of its own. As Gojira was able to damage Orga with his fog and tear through it with the true atomic breath, slowly breaking down the fetus monster, overcoming its regenerative abilities with raw destructiveness. Despite Orga’s continuous attempts to mutate and absorb more of Gojira’s DNA, it was not fast enough to survive the onslaught Gojira dished out in its range. Eventually, the kaiju fetus was reduced to nothingness along with the Millennians battleships that have lost its control with the fall of their mothership.

After which, Gojira returned to its neutral stance and continue its endless wander.

[strawberrykidneystone]

mass effect companions masterbation headcanons

here you go you filthy sluts‼️/affectionately

garrus:

i hate to say it, but he jacks off every night if he can. it’s mostly a stress reliever for him and he’s usually all alone in the main battery, so why not?

liara:

doesn’t if she can help it. she’ll do it every once in a while but immediately feel guilty afterwards. only uses her fingers, nothing fancy (she’s too prideful to buy sex toys) maybe once a month as a treat

kaidan:

mans is a freak. he has a collection of dildos and pocket pussys in his personal apartment, but he makes due when out on ships for missions LMAO, i’d say maybe 2 times a week

ashley:

has a bullet vibrator that shes had for years that hasn’t let her down yet. easily transportable and easy to conceal!! doesn’t masterbate often, but still does it every once in a while, maybe once a week if we’re getting technical

tali:

wishes she could do it more often, but the process for it to be safe is really annoying. and even if she does it while she’s in her suit, it’s a pain to clean up. i’d say she commits to it once a month for a self care day, invested money into a wand vibrator for herself

wrex:

literally doesn’t. i feel like krogan would see it as a “waste of seed” or some shit like that so he takes most of his frustrations out on the battle field

a/n: i only did the me1 crew but if more characters are requested i would be happy to do them!!!

part 2

[astorythatwritesitself]

There Will Be Time

Fandom: Mass Effect

Rating: Gen

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Pairing: Thane Krios/Shepard

Additional tags: Prompt Fill, Memory Loss, Post-Reaper War.

Excerpt:

It’s been six months, since the war’s end. One, since the prognosis. ‘A matter of weeks,’ the doctor had said. 'Two or three months, if you’re very lucky.’ Adrian had taken it fairly well, all things considered. Vanished for a few hours, along the beach trails near their home, but there had been no tears when she returned. Hardly even a tremor in her voice, when she’d said: 'we always knew we were on borrowed time.’ Thane is simply grateful for each day that passes without incident.

Yeah, the AO3 version turned into a whole other thing lol. Original answer/draft is still up for posterity though, just no longer in the ship tag lol.

(Brief excerpt of The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, by T.S. Elliot)

'She could be wrong, siha-’ Thane starts. Starts, but the words catch in his throat as Adrian presses closer, arms tightening around his waist. Her lips brush his shoulder - or so he chooses to believe. He can’t bring himself to look, to see if she is crying.

‘You can rebuild a lot of things, but a brain’s pretty high up there in ‘experimental’,’ she replies, only the faintest of tremors in her voice. ‘I'd… always wondered. If it wouldn’t burn out fast, or break down - and that’s on its own, being around that much Reaper crap? If they were trying to indoctrinate me or anything…’

That’s as far as the conversation goes. The next day - week, ultimately - will be for shoring up what she’d prepared during her arrest, handling any other affairs. What remained of the night was simply to be enjoyed, to commit to memory all they could, before the chance passed by.

----

It's little things, at first. 

A misplaced item. More notes around the house - reminders of appointments, when to feed the fish, where things were. Tasks left undone. Dropping things, because her hands won't cooperate. Things that are easy enough to overlook - even laugh about, if it's a good day, things that could happen to anyone and mean nothing. He helps her clean up, she releases a statement that she is tired and done, and would like to enjoy some time with her husband, anyone looking for information can ask any of the other survivors of the war. 

Which is true enough.

That she's unable to completely recall the orders of events, or what even happened, isn't information the wider media needs.

----

There is still time, Thane tells himself, when he awakens to find Shepard still asleep. Some mornings he does get up - catch up on messages, let the others know how things stand. Sometimes he meditates, often he walks.

Sometimes, he writes, when it's too much to bear.

More often than not, though... he lingers. There is time, and he knows better, now, than to risk letting it slip away. Knows to enjoy the warm weight of her arm around his shoulders now, the soft, even sounds of her breath, and how lovely it is (all else aside), that she is able to sleep peacefully at last, old nightmares either forgotten or distant enough to no longer matter.  Things that will, yes, be only memory - but how often had he regretted every moment denied, with Irikah and Kolyat? Moments lost before he even knew they were there? 

Not again. 

---------

Four months along, and there are more notes, fewer models, more muddying of when something did or should happen. Longer pauses in conversation, where she struggles to find her words.

He asks (only partially from the doctor's suggestion) if she could share a poem with him - he loves hearing her recite, no two ever quite alike. Remembers from their time aboard the Normandy, the hazy warmth in her voice as the words flowed, swift and clear, her love for them sweeping him along even when they didn't translate so well.

The words do come. Slow and faltering and in a hollow, clipped tone - 

“And would it have been worth it, after all,

Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,

After the cups-

“No-" She shakes her head, biting her lip and drumming her fingers on her thigh.  "Wait, no that... that goes the other way around, doesn't it.”

Her voice trembles - breaks, just the slightest bit, on those last words.

"It's a long one, siha," Thane says. "You've stumbled on this one before, it's-" 

It's nothing to worry about, he wants to say, but can't. Adrian rests her head on his shoulder, eyes closed as if they could stop the tears trailing down her face. She's stumbled before, yes... but would that provoke such a reaction?

So, instead - he draws her close. Closes his eyes, focusing first on keeping his own voice steady as he picks up where she left off, then as she joins in, as he guides her through the rest. Better that, than leaving it silent and incomplete; and the shorter ones come to her quick as they ever have. 

----

He’s steeled himself as best as he can, to spend no time mourning now. Not while she's here, when there’s still more good days than bad. More days than they’d dreamt of having when they’d first met, more days than seemed possible, during the war.

A day like this, where Shepard is already awake, taking over the kitchen table with her latest ship model, and Thane almost believes that their future stretches out far and away, beyond anyone's predictions. Her hands are steady, and he can almost forgive the faint, burnt odor lingering in the air, because it means she’s remembered to eat on her own. He sits beside her, and they talk for a while - about Vega’s upcoming visit, the inaccuracies of the Normandy model strewn before her, Kolyat’s last message; and all the while, her words come without trouble, with no grasping or fumbling to recall this detail or that.

----

“We don’t have anything else going on today, right? I was thinking, maybe we could go to the beach,” Shepard says after a while, as she starts cleaning up her workspace. “It’s beautiful out there, today.”

Thane hums a brief agreement from where he stands, just behind where she sits, clearing up the last of the dishes of his meal. “That would be lovely, siha,” he replies. Sets the plate aside and turns, resting a hand on Adrian’s shoulder. Is about to say something, when she looks up at him, a faint and fretful half-smile on her lips.

“I think my translat-”

Her expression falters - confusion and then a slow, horrified comprehension.

( ’I think my translator just glitched. What did you call me?’ )

She grips his hand as if it were the only thing keeping her tethered to this world. He leans down, pressing a light kiss to the top of her head, all the while reminding himself, there will be time to mourn later, there is time together now.

But gods, it's growing short.

[daisychainsandbowties]

Lilith in N7 armor, though…

It may or may not surprise you to know that I actually have a whole mass effect au planned out in my head. I just…. Yeah. Ava Silva and the weight of the world on her shoulders. Ava Silva giving exclusive sponsorship to every single tech and weapons shop on the Citadel. Ava Silva with her aquarium and her pet hamster and a shadow longer than her life.

Ava Silva, waking up to fire in the sky above Mindoir. Ships blotting out the sky and the trees a smear of sound and heat and light outside her window. It’s enough to make them burst inward, waking her in time to save her life.

Boots in the hall of their little house and her mother running inside the room, pushing the dresser she made out of this planet up against the door they brought with them from the stars. Ava doesn’t know anything but this place – the grass crunchy in winter and the flowers in spring and the leaves in autumn and all the sunsets in summer.

Her mother has old scars on her hands and an old rifle she keeps under her bed and an old set of armour she wears now. It’s broken open across her chest and the gauntlets are cracked, falling onto the wood floor as she looks for Ava, finds her by the window in a halo of broken glass.

It’s weird, too see her smiling and bleeding at the same time.

There’s a second red heart on her chest, and when she speaks she leaves blood spatter on Ava’s forearms. Clutches at her so tightly that Ava is certain she could never let her go, but then she’s smoothing Ava’s hair off her face, tucking strands behind her ear.

She carries Ava to the window – she’s nine, too big for carrying and she squirms but her mother’s grip is iron. The grass is still wet from overnight rain, somehow, even backlit as they both are by fire. The shape of tall trees in her mother’s eyes which are just the same colour as hers. Brown like earth.

The door to Ava’s bedroom splinters and the last thing Ava hears as she’s pushed onto her back – out of sight and out of reach – is her mother telling her to run. This she knows how to do, running laps around the track at school while the other kids are still stretching out their legs. She knows how to do it alone in the woods around their house or down toward the lake, pretending to chase birds or her own shadow.

Ava, running and always, forever after this, running. Away from town, from home, with an old Alliance beacon in her hand, blinking like a red eye against her palm.

They’ll find you, she’d whispered, pressing it wet into Ava’s small hand, and they did.

When the Alliance come they find Ava. Just her. They ask her questions but all she can tell them about is fire, and sitting in the old cabin by the lake, underneath the floorboards with bugs the size of her hands crawling in the dirt around her. Staring at the beacon until she slept again. Woke again. Slept again.

Ten years later she’s on Akuze and everyone she trained with is dead around her. She’s fresh out of basic training and her armour belonged to someone else before her, ill-fitting at the shoulders and the hips. Her greaves rattle when she walks, and everyone teases her about it and then she’s running past pieces of them.

The creature responsible bleeds so much when it dies, and its insides burn where they touch Ava’s skin. When they find her, she’s carrying a fistful of dog tags, spends a week in a medi-gel bath regrowing a fifth of her skin. They recruit her straight into the N7 program, and some nights, sitting in various drop-ships eating expired ration bars, or gunning down mercs, she wonders if her mother would recognise her anymore. They were supposed to be farmers.

Then Eden Prime, the beacon and a Turian called Adriel who wants to bring about the end of the world. She meets an odd archaeologist on a lonely dig site and her name is Beatrice. A sniper on the Citadel called Shannon, who likes to wear blue. Their pilot, Mary, has a knack for pissing everyone off and a soft spot for Ava.

She sits in the mess late at night, when the ship’s circadian lights make everything dim and secret, drinking coffee with too much creamer and listening to Beatrice talk about the Protheans.

It's the wrong time to fall in love.

They win, eventually, and Ava is quietly side-lined for saying too much, too loudly about the Reapers, who want to come down from the sky and burn everything, like the slavers burned her home once upon a time.

And then she dies.

Her body, burned by the mouth of a planet upon re-entry, finds its way into the hands of a shadow organisation called Cerberus, who call her Lazarus and bring her back from the dead. She wakes up full of hairline fractures, her face trying to break open, bleeding red light like her once-small fingers, like running away again and waking up to flashlights, strange voices. Everything about life is circular.

She wakes in the hands of a girl with designer blood and bones not quite as handmade as Ava’s, but close. Her name is Lilith, and the first thing she tells Ava is that the galaxy hasn’t run out of ways to use her just yet.

[moosemonstrous]

Tagged by @doreyg, thank you!

No pressure tags: @ulfrsmal, @kermit-coded, @rokhal, @swaps55, and feel free to steal!

How many works do you have on ao3?

38, I'm the opposite of prolific 🫡

What’s your total word count?

164,872

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

stillness of remembering, what you lost and what you had (kalluzeb), amid the voiceless mountains (tbb), with open arms and with open doors and today is always gone tomorrow (FH3) - so Star Wars and a big video game series, no surprises there!

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I don't necessarily mind if a writer doesn't respond to my comments, but it's not like I get an overwhelming amount either so it's hardly an issue to shoot off a response.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I suppose Boundary (BG3), after a fashion. I tend to get Into It with the really angsty ideas and they don't end up published very often.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

thoughts compressed (ANGR) still gets me sappy on a reread, but I reckon what you lost and what you had takes the cake. Old bastards get to see the end of war! It's probably for the best I never wrote a follow-up.

Do you write crossovers?

AUs, more like. I tend to have a preference for one side over the other, so calling the results crossovers feels... incorrect.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not a lot!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

The kind that will mostly never see the light of the day 😂

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. Every now and then I promise myself to write something in Polish, but it would just be for the sake of it and I don't know that I've got the patience anymore.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Other than some primary school notebook adventures, I suppose a better part of the Ghost Rider AUs were co-written with @wazzappp 🥰 But in a more traditional sense, nope.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

I go for a specific dynamic rather than characters, so it really changes every time I get into a new fandom! Currently it's amareyes. I suppose my preference is that the blorbos kinda hate each other to start with.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

The fuck-off massive Midnight Suns fic that's frankly grown too big to handle, and that terrible Rex-centric Clone Wars retelling that was going to be so sad you guys that I ran out of steam on. I open the wip files sometimes in vain hope they'll have tied themselves off when I wasn't looking.

What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I occasionally get the character voice just right.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing. Oops. I know what should happen, the words just won't go :(

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Shrug. Anything can be done if it's done well.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Oh my god if we go for the FIRST-first one... Yeah I dealt exclusively in crossovers as a kid, why limit myself to one 😅 It would be some wild mixture of Saint Seiya, Slayers, FMA and Soul Hunter. In many notebooks. First one I published would've been for W.I.T.C.H., although the forum it was on ceased to exist a very long time ago. First AO3 fandom was Mass Effect.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I'd love to one day have the confidence to write a Discworld fic and sincerely believe it adds anything to the fandom. Ship-wise... look somebody has to write the first Robbie/Guero fic in the tag and I'm not opposed to it being me.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

in spe salus (sw), I think I got Wolffe down pretty well. Although after-school special (angr) has my favourite paragraph in it.

[silverselfshippingchaos]

Pairing: Ash (self-insert)/Commander John Shepard

Word Count: About 1.2k

Warnings: A bit of swearing, lots of making out. Slightly steamy if you squint, but it's mostly fluff. Also Shepard needs a vacation.

Synopsis: Set in the midst of Mass Effect 3, Ash can't help but notice that Shepard hasn't been doing well. After all, he could he? With the Reaper War upon the galaxy, it was up to him to save all organic life. Still, Ash worries for him. Building model ships has always been a hobby of his, and Ash thinks that perhaps building one together could help his tired mind relax.

Knock.

Knock knock.

Knock knock knock.

Ash sighs, staring at the metal door in front of her blankly. She looks down at the cardboard box in her hand, a toy model ship waiting to be built and assembled.

He must be sleeping... She thinks to herself. Usually, as soon as she knocks on the door of Shepard's cabin, he's rushing to open the door, to pull her into his strong embrace, tilt her chin up and kiss her.

Shepard doesn't seem to register the knocking at all. He's just staring blankly at the wall, lost in thought. It had become a regular endeavor for him these past few weeks. Fuck, there was always too much happening. Every single second he spent here wasting time, another planet was being attacked. The constant feeling of unease had him growing thin, as was being pulled in what felt like every single direction of the galaxy.

"EDI, you mind opening Shepard's door for me?"

Ash asks, looking up at the ceiling. The Normandy's AI companion could hear her regardless of where she was looking, but it was a habit Ash couldn't seem to drop. The response comes almost immediately, as it often did when EDI was involved.

"Past data indicates that Shepard's dopamine levels increase when he hears your voice, so yes. Yes I can."

As the door opens with a woosh, Shepard seems to be snapped out of whatever trance he was in. He's still sitting on the edge of his bed in a pair of sweats and his favorite N7 hoodie, but he looks over at Ash.

"Hey, Ash. You need something?"

He's happy to see Ash, and his tone is plenty chipper, but Ash can tell just how exhausted he really is. Perhaps it was her magical girlfriend senses, or maybe it was that it was plain to see that Shepard was exhausted. Still, she smiles, just happy to see him. Not even an intergalactic war could stop the way he made her heart flutter.

"Nope. Didn't realize I needed an excuse to see my boyfriend now."

Ash's tone is sarcastic and light-hearted (as it often is), but John just shakes his head and sighs, rubbing at his temple with his hand,

"I'm sorry. There's so much to think about. The deal with the Salarian Dalatrass-"

"Can wait. It can wait."

Ash approaches the bed and pulls his head into her chest, giving her the best hug she can muster with one hand still holding the cardboard box (hidden very stealthily behind her back).Ash's voice is a whisper as she kisses the top of his head, the familiar prick of his buzzed hair on her lips.

"When's the last time you slept, John? Joker told me your stress levels haven't been this high since the Blitz. I'm worried, baby."

"... I'm not tired. At all. I'll be okay."

Ash sighs, letting go of him and rolling her eyes. Shepard raises an eyebrow,

"Hey, what are you hiding behind your back?"

Ash shows it to him. To be completely honest, model ships were much more his department than Ash's, but she still did her research, and this particular model took her nearly a month of hunting down.

Shepard's blue eyes go wide,

"This model is a hard one to find. You got this for me?"

"Yeah." Ash smiles, "I thought maybe it would help get your mind off things."

"Ash, I... Thank you. Thank you so much."

Shepard looks up at her, and his eyes are so earnest and sweet. When's the last time he took a break, did something for himself? Ash puts a hand on his cheek, feeling the small poke of his stubble against her palm. She leans in for a soft kiss, pressing her lips against his, and it's a gesture that Shepard is more than happy to reciprocate.

"Where would I be without you, honey?"

It's more of a rhetorical question anyway, but Ash kisses him again, this time on his forehead,

"Dunno. And we won't find out either, since I'm with you until the end."

"In that case..."

Shepard takes the box from her, looking at it front and back,

"Wanna build this with me?"

"Fuck yeah, let's do it."

~~~~~~

It takes nearly an hour of long work, gluing and linking together wooden and plastic pieces to make what seemingly resembled a small figurine of a warship, but seeing John's smile made all the hard work more than worth it to Ash. Shepard yawns, settling the ship down.

Ash grins,

"Finally tired now?"

"Yeah. Think I'll take a nap, then shower."

Ash runs a hand down his arm,

"Hm... Mind if I join?"

She doesn't miss the smirk on Shepard's face, and she fucking loves it.

"The nap or the shower?"

"Heh, both. Looking forward to the shower, though."

Ash can feel the smile on his lips as he pulls her into his lap where he sat on the ground, wrapping his arms and kissing her deeply. His breath is soft on her lips as he pulls away just enough to speak.

"'Course you are."

It takes much more kissing, but Shepard eventually, Shepard picks her up with ease and lays her down in bed. He took his N7 hoodie off while they were building, so he takes his shirt of before laying next to her. Admittedly, Ash is soaking in the sight of his bare chest, her eyes drifting down to his muscles... There were scars, both from the Blitz and his miraculous coming back from the dead, but to Ash, there was nothing more attractive.

Shepard wraps his arms around her, and Ash giggles. His arms always felt so perfect. Ash was so soft, and she smelled so sweet too. She was Shepard's happy place. Ash laughs as he buries his face in her neck, soaking in the scent of her cologne barely clinging to her skin after a long day, and starts peppering her with kisses there.

"Shep! Your beard! It tickles!"

But he doesn't stop. He has a massive grin on his face. He loves hearing her laugh so much.

Still, it doesn't take long before Shepard is ready to drift off to sleep, the exhaustion of a day of meeting with aliens and humans alike kicking in.

Shepard squeezes Ash, holds her tight in a big ol' hug. Honestly, his grip is a little too strong, but Ash doesn't mind. He was showing her affection, and she was glad he didn't have to hide parts of himself around her. Whenever they sat around and built figurines together, it was so easy to pretend that they were just the run-of-the-mill couple, and not a supersoldier back from the dead and a decorated Alliance soldier.

"I love you, Ash."

He loosens his grip and lets her snuggle into his chest like how she always loves to.

"I love you too, honey. Let's get some sleep. I'm sure Garrus will wake us up if anything happens."

"I could stay with you forever."

Ash smiles,

"When it's all over, you will."

Shepard, already half-asleep by his point, grabs gentle hold of Ash's left hand and runs his thumb over her ring finger, right where a wedding ring would rest.

"Yeah, I will."

The next thing Ash knows, Shepard is out like a light, his breathing being enough to lull her to bed too.

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 2 replay, part two of Tali’s loyalty mission:

-I think Tali has the densest loyalty mission. Mordin comes close, but all the extra conversations makes Tali the winner.

-Why are the living quarters at the entrance of the Alarei?

That must be awful. Every time someones comes or leaves, they pass by you while you sleep. And the kitchen is in the middle of the bunks. You never have any peace.

-I’m just casually looting everything in the sight.

The quarians can consider this repayment for making me stress over a trial instead of just sending a damn email for help.

-Quarian log: Rael’Zorah ordered us to bypass standard safeties. Following standard protocols will take too long.

And shockingly, this ends with everyone dead. It’s almost like there’s a reason for regulations and protocols.

For a game that decries red tape, Mass Effect repeatedly proves its importance over and over. There’s some impressive cognitive dissonance there.

-Tali says the only species that salvages more than them are the vorcha.

I doubt the vorcha are better at it. They’re just more desperate.

-Tali’s turmoil through this mission is clear. She doesn’t know what’s worse: This being her fault or her father’s.

This is a good example of how her mission is better written than Jacob’s. Neither Tali nor Jacob wanted to believe their father capable of the crimes they committed, but Tali’s feelings are discussed in more depth and more personally.

Jacob’s are glossed over and impersonal. Jacob would not want to believe anyone capable of doing what his father did; Ronald could easily have been substituted with an old friend or commander and the mission would play out the same. His outrage against Ronald actions was a general anger against the crew’s mistreatment, not a personal betrayal.

The relationship – or more accurately, lack there of – between Tali and her father is centered in this mission, however. Tali’s actions are driven partly to live up to his ideals and partly because of her anger at him.

Rael did it all for Tali and she never wanted him to; Ronald had put his relationship with Jacob behind him and willingly abandoned him for a decade. Tali’s willing to take the fall for Rael in the end; Jacob only considered how to punish Ronald.

It’s the personal touches in Tali’s mission that make hers more powerful. Jacob’s distance from Ronald distances the player as well.

-One of the quarian logs says that Rael deliberately had the geth network together.

-How does weapons being offline or navigation being locked protect the fleet? Can’t the geth just hack their way past that?

-This must be absolute hell for the geth.

They wake up. They don’t know where they are except captured by their creators, who they do know are hell bent on the geth’s extinction.

They’re tortured. They can tell there are other geth around them also being tortured.

They finally manage to get free and make the torture stop, but they’re still trapped on this ship. Navigation is locked and the weapons are offline. It’s surrounded by the creators. They know it’s only a matter of time before the creators blow the ship up.

They probably just want to go home.

I actually feel pretty bad about killing the geth. Killing people torturing you is a reasonable response. I wish there was an option to negotiate with them.

-And on that note, why are the geth still on the ship? Why haven’t they uploaded themselves to servers?

I suppose we can assume they’re out of range or there’s some kind of shield around the ship to prevent that.

-Rael was looking for a way to overcome geth resistance to reprogramming.

So putting it another way, he wanted to indoctrinate them.

Charming.

-Tali insists that even assembled geth are not sapient. Rael was not performing tests on prisoners.

And how can you test reprogramming if the subjects aren’t sapient…?

Her denial is understandable, but the evidence is increasingly damning.

-If you go renegade and tell Tali the quarians to reclaim the homeworld, she expresses doubts.

They’d have to rebuild it and readapt to it. They’re culture would completely change. She’s not sure it’s worth it.

-But if you go paragon and tell her to not give involved in an unnecessary war, she bites your head off and tell you that you don’t know what it’s like to live in a home one hull breach from destruction. They’re trapped in their suits.

Tali, Shepard got spaced. They have some knowledge of the dangers of living on ships.

I’ll give her the suits, however.

-Regardless, the contrast is interesting. Tali’s conflicted on reclaiming the homeworld; she loves the Migrant Fleet as it is, but is also well aware of its dangers and downsides.

-She says the pilgrimage teaches them all they’ve lost being trapped in their suits.

Without it, she’d never know what she doesn’t have.

-The quarians haven’t colonized another world because it would take them a long time to readapt to it. The homeworld would take 60 years; another world would take 600.

I’ll put out there they could have colonized another world back when they first fled the homeworld and before the suits became necessary, but I suppose at the time it was considered a temporary measure. They never thought they would lose Rannoch for so long.

-If you skip hugging Tali, she has strong words about her father.

Her anger shines through here – she wanted her father to spend time with her.

Instead, he focused on his work to provide the best possible life for her.

It’s the continuing theme for Tali: People love Tali enough do what they believe is best for her, but don’t respect her enough to listen to what she wants.

-Quarians need to take sick leave so they can see each other’s faces.

Damn, that’s tragic.

-And once more with feeling: Rael brought the geth online and performed tests on them for Tali’s sake.

She’s pissed about it and being left to clean up his mess.

He loved her, but he didn’t respect her.

-At least he was emphatic that he did not want Tali to be caught in any potential blowback.

She was anyway, but kudos for trying.

-If you go renegade, Tali says that what Rael did violates quarians laws that predate leaving Rannoch.

I am genuinely impressed that the quarians consider experimenting on live geth over the line. I thought they would only be upset at the danger Rael put everyone in, not the ethics.

-You can also choose to care about Tali more than you respect her by showing evidence at the trial.

She’s understandably upset – she’s going to die on the suicide mission anyway, so what does it matter if she’s exiled?

-If you show no evidence, Tali is surprisingly chill. Not happy at being exiled, but at peace. Again, she’s most likely going to die soon anyway.

-Tali, about the potential war with the geth if she’s exiled: If they get themselves killed through their own stupidity, my conscience is clean.

Bravado probably created by adrenaline. Tali, uh, does not handle it well no matter what if the quarians die fighting the geth.

-Blue paragon and Rally the Crowd play out very similarly. The dialogue choices with Tali afterwards are even the same.

I actually prefer Rally the Crowd – having Veetor and Kal’Reegar come to Tali’s defense is moving.

Blue paragon relies on Shepard being Just That Charismatic again.

-Also, it’s rare for neutral to be so different from paragon or neutral. Usually it’s the same without the flavoring the others come with.

-Kal’Reegar says he’ll be escorting techs around researching for dark energy build up.

The foreshadowing is so obvious. When Bioware abandoned the dark energy idea, they really hurt the series’ continuity.

-He also says the best way to get the homeworld back is to find another means that does not involve fighting the geth.

I think this was intended to foreshadow an option to make peace between the geth and quarians without them ever fighting.

Obviously that idea was dropped.

-Shala’Raan has blinders when it comes to Rael. She always wants to believe the best of him.

Unless you state otherwise, she assumes Rael told Tali in his last message to her that he loves her.

And if you do, she insists he was showing his love the best he could.

-Interesting that when Gerrel asks about the evidence you found, deferring to Tali is neutral. Telling him is paragon.

With how the mission has played so far, I’d say that deferring to Tali should be the paragon choice. Let her make the choices about her life.

Normandy

-According to the Geth Shield Technology, geth technology is completely incompatible with Alliance technology.

Huh. How incompatible is Alliance technology with quarian technology?

The geth must have diverged quite a bit if they’re completely divergent from the quarians. They both built on the same foundation, and they’ve been monitoring organic communications.

-Tali says a few people have suggested her as an admiral candidate.

Foreshadowing! And Shepard may have made their case a little too convincingly.

-Tali: My father would be honored I chose to mourn him by blowing up a lot of geth.

Good line.

[ms-scarletwings]

Every Dredge Aberration (2023), Bonus I

The infamous, nocturnal prowler of The Marrows. A monster resembling the luring fish of the depths, now lurking shallow waves in search of mightier prey. To most, the Night Angler will prove the first real threat faced along their journey. Her appetite punishes the folly of those who do not heed the early warnings of the mayor… at least, those who do so without the proper precautions. If her imposing mass or her ferocity was not enough clue to her otherworldly nature, one cannot deny her supernatural guise. From afar, the beast casts the ominous mirage of a lone fishing ship. If sounded at with a horn, her song echoes the call to add to the illusion; however, once she has spotted her target, she charges in single-minded aggression. As the false vessel emerges from the fog, its silhouette gives way to 8 eyes cast in the glow of the dangling light. What follows is a snap of teeth and splinters, and to the fortunate, a panicked rush back to port before she can return. This is the predator which quickly becomes familiar to the fisherman from early on in the story, but there is more to her than what can be seen just above the water.

An Abyssal Outcast

Following the pattern that all of the unnatural wonders of the sea were born from the corruption of the Deep, it can be readily imagined how the same madness twisted a once simple fish into this cunning nightmare. Nonetheless, the Night Angler’s exact origins are not so easy to conclude.

The anglerfish, which she shares the most of her looks with, would be nothing short of out of place in that bay. Typically, they are lethargic hunters, they call the eternal blackness of the ocean’s midnight zone their territory, and they are seldom spotted in range of the Marrows, even though they are frequently spotted in the Stellar Basin. While it is certainly possible that… “other forces” deterred the Night Angler away from the depths, one also cannot dismiss the possibility that the monster had actually belonged where it prowls all along. Native black groupers are harvested plentifully along the shallow coastlines of Little and Greater Marrow. They too only emerge under the cover of night, and grouper fish can be highly aggressive when protecting their home and in pursuing their prey. They are even known to produce “booming” vocalizations of their own as a threat display.

Either candidate could be a most likely answer to the Night Angler’s true identity, still ultimately left to others’ speculation.

Siren of the Night

Whatever the creature’s past, the present finds a menace to all nocturnal seafarers in the Night Angler. After the brine is obscured by the mysterious fog of this sea, she patrols her territory for interlopers, occasionally sounding off the distorted blare of a fishing ship. If called to with one’s onboard horn, the night angler will actually respond in turn as she begins her pursuit- similar to a twisted game of Marco-Polo. For her size, she moves with a frightening speed and does not give up a chase easily. The standard fishing boat, with no additional improvements, and rotten luck, stands no chance of surviving multiple engagements with her on the open waters. Indeed, this false ship may very well be the cause behind the previous Marrow fisherman’s disappearance.

Additionally, her mimicry ability seems to be tied with the fog itself. Whether the great fish can actually command its power or simply benefits from the miasma’s effect on humans, her true form is revealed by the light.

While she shuns the radiance of civilization, she is drawn to shiplights. It is no wonder she prefers the dark when it makes light itself such a powerful tool to hunt by.

Tactics

For all her eerie tricks and reputation, the Night Angler is thankfully well-countered with a little foresight and caution. She mainly exists to feast on the callow who would fall for the ship-in-the- distance ruse, and this disguise actually puts her at a disadvantage against the more wary. Her light juts out against the darkness at a great distance, and her patrol route is actually easily avoidable. She tends to keep to the south end of the Marrows undisturbed, and will only give pursuit if she detects a boat by sight or sound. Obviously, use of the foghorn during the night in this area is to be avoided unless one, for whatever reason, wants to draw the creature’s attention. Keeping the lights off can drastically reduce her detection range, at the trade off for the fisherman’s own peace of mind. The Night Angler rises from the depths at around 8:30pm each night, and retreats back between the times of 3:30am and 4am. In a chase, she can be outmaneuvered by a powerful enough engine set up, and will not follow a ship into the safety of the dock lights. Failing all else, the words of banishment can send the Night Angler into retreat, at least for time enough to find refuge.

*Note- Oftentimes, when nerves are running thin on the open waters, or around other regions, some may have spotted what appears to be the night angler’s illusion, to great concern. If one is not in range of her territory, rest can be assured. This vessel is also a lie told by the fog, but it is a harmless one that will dissipate on approach. Curiously, it will mimic a foghorn sequence blown to it as well, but it serves no further purpose than a mildly spooky encounter. You will never find The Night Angler far beyond the range of Blackstone Isle. After all, the other 5 areas already have their own monsters.

[hawkstincan]

Get to know me tag game!

Tagged by @kitkatt0430 thanks for the tag <3<3<3

1. Do you make your bed?

Nope. I dropped making my bed as soon as my mom moved out. Maybe even before that. I sleep on two blankets and under a blanket. It’s just easier. And I toss a lot in my sleep and shits were always on the floor in the morning anyway. So I just stopped wasting my time and energy on making bed 

2. Favorite number?

I consider 666 and 13 lucky ones. And have a soft spot for 6 and 9

3. What’s your job?

Post office. Night shifts. Salary sucks but it’s like two steps from my apartment and I spend most of the shift alone there  

4. If you could go back to school would you?

Honestly? No. I’m too anxious to go back to learning. I dropped out the first time around. And I don’t really have passion for any subject to put myself through this kind of struggle. If I ever find something worth it maybe, but for now no      

5. Can you parallel park?

Nope, I’ve never learned how to drive

6. Do you think aliens are real?

I don’t have a strong opinion. But with the size of the Universe? I thinks that’s quite a possibility 

7. Can you drive a manual car?

Nope, I’ve never learned how to drive

8. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Hmm, Catwoman (2004) and other movies/shows I love but they are considered bad. And yeah, I know that catwoman is bad. But Halle Berry is so beautiful! And I have working eyes! (A Beginner's Guide to Endings on the other hand rated like 6 on imdb. I? I unironically think it’s a masterpiece) 

9. Tattoos?

Yep! I have four for now: snake biting its tail on my right ankle (it goes around the ankle like a bracelet);  flying crow on my right hand below the elbow; mass effect inspired geth crawling on my left shoulder and lightning and snowflakes (if you’re thinking it was inspired by ship you are right) all over my left hand below the elbow. Lightning goes on my palm and point finger. If I have more ‘spare’ money… I’ll get some more. I have ideas and places. 

10. Favorite color?

Purple since I fell in love with hawkeye. And it was black for the most of my life. I still love black. 

11. Favorite type of music?

Rock. Or metal? Or hard rock? I never thought too much about the types. So lets say rock. All the rock 

12. Do you like puzzles?

Kinda? I like them but they are usually very hard for me to solve. And I hate feeling stupid. I like idea but rarely try to really solve them

13. Any phobia?

Insectophobia. I can’t even go near some bugs. Just nope. I once almost jumped under the car to avoid a bug 

14. Favorite childhood sport?

Badminton. We never played by any rules. Just ‘do everything you can to keep the shuttlecock in the air’. And I was good at it. At school we once played with tennis rackets for almost two hours. Good times  

15. Do you talk to your self?

All the time xD Sometimes aloud. “You are a strong capable woman you CAN STOP READING AND FINISH THIS” can be heard every shift from me to me. Luckily I’m the only one hearing this xD 

16. What movies do you adore?

Wrath of Man and Pacific Rim and all Resident Evil movies (with Milla Jovovich) and 10 Things I Hate About You and Bring It On and MASH and From Dusk Till Dawn are my comfort movies/shows. I love the Critters trilogy. I love the new Star Trek trilogy. Nightmare on Elm Street (old ones). The Gentlemen. Old Guard. Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV (I rewatched it like four times in a row). The Suicide Squad. The Boondock Saints. Ten Inch Hero. Drive Angry… Well. Like. I have weird taste in movies I guess? (I’ve mentioned only movies I saw more than 5 times)    

17. Coffee or tea?

Coffee. I can't find balance with tea. It’s either tasteless or makes me sick because it’s too strong. Coffee I can drink non stop. Hot and cold, instant and beans. I love the bitter taste of coffee.   

18. First thing you wanted to be growing up

Veterinarian, I think. I always loved animals and thought that being the one to heal them is the best career ever

Tagging (no pressure): @holycafe, @nixie-deangel, @luna-shimizu, @bedalk, @madsteacup, @mommalosthermind, @eaion, @thing2dani and whoever feels like participating :3

[sol-consort]

I actually would like the concept of being the only human in a crew for a Mass Effect game (maybe a smaller standalone game instead a full on main story one) but that may just be because I always preferred the alien characters over the humans in Mass Effect. No clue what the plot would be but for smaller game maybe hostile creature on board like Alien but I’m just thinking that because I’ve binged the Alien movies

But outside plots what would be your top three alien species in Mass Effect you’d want to be stuck with on a ship? I think Quarian, Asari, and Krogan would be mine

Dude, that's an absolute nightmare combo—for the quarian, at least. They're 100% getting sick every other day.

Krogans have heat and ruts, so....there is that. Oh, and the asari is 100% boning them, like you and the qaurian are going to be thirdwheeling 90% of the time.

It's going to like one of those drama reality tv shows, not one of those people gets along.

I mean, I do like humans a lot. Half the human kink stuff is stuff I genuinely find attractive in other humans. I am my own main source of filth, I would absolutely hate being the only human in a ship.

But if I had no other choice...hmm. My brain is just turning this into a list of aliens I want to bone rather than thinking about the logistics.

Well, I don't want to be charged with involuntary manslaughter, so turians and qaurians are off the table. The knowledge I could accidentally poison one of them by my mere existence is too haunting + I'm a curious creature with grubby fingers and will touch all of their stuff and food.

I would actually enjoy being stuck with a hanar on a ship. Toning out people trying to convert you into their religion comes naturally to me. Not to mention how refreshingly polite and well-behaved they are! Hanar forbid animal fighting sports in their entire planet because it lowers empathy! I love the hanar so much, aaa. I wanna get close enough to one to learn their soul name. They're so pretty and pink and jellyfish, my beloveds <33

A drell, though? No. I don't want them to feel subservient to the hanar, but also, I don't want to get drugged each time I used a spoon they haven't washed properly. It's a shame, I adore their raspy voice, but even touching one will give you a rash, so yeah.

I've always wanted to kiss frogs since I was a little human, not in search of princes but because I found frogs pretty and felt bad that people would only kiss them in hopes of them turning into something else rather than kiss them for them, so i swore to kiss any frog I saw. Now I'm older and realise the health complications and risks—that what living with a drell would be like, kissing a frog every day.

Elcor absolutely yes! They're big majestic elephants and I love elephants and I love their clear way of speech and I find them so adorable and I wanna be friends <33

I'm still not over the asari being an eldritch abomination that alters your perception of reality, so absolutely not. Plus, most of them aren't as nice or humble as liara. Instead, they're snotty and often look down on humans for being the youngest, newest species. I'm not bunking with one! They freak me out.

Salarians? Absolutely not. They only require one hour of sleep and have a perfect memory. They can't be gaslight into thinking it's their turn on the chores. They will be up ALL NIGHT every single day. They will wake me up at 3am. to continue an argument from 2 weeks ago. Plus they really dislike the eclor and I don't want them being mean to my favourite guys :( or else I'll slap a bitch.

Korgans? Fuck no. Anything with any heat cycle is not stepping foot in my world. Go deal with your rut elsewhere! I don't even wanna think about it. otherwise they'd be so chill and nice...albet too strong. Krogans need to go I'm sorry.

Angara? No, because I'd feel too bad separating them from their family. BPD and other emotional constipation things make me the worst person to deal with to an angara bc I would legit rather die than acknowledge any feeling ever. They're too emotionally intelligent and open for me, It will be frustrating for us both bc I will look for hidden bad meanings in their sincere worda and kind actions, and they'll take all my impulsive words and actions to heart. Also, I'm very touch repulsed, hug me, and I'll claw your eye out.

Now, you'd think, okay, there are no species left??

AND YOU'D BE WRONG.

The best roomates! The geth!

They're built helpers! they take care of the chores, they stay in a dark room like a hermit connected to the web, you barely hear a beep from them.

Besides the risk of shattering my skull if I accidentally bump into them in the middle of the night in a dark hallway, everything else is very dandy.

So here you have it:

Hanar

Elcor

Geth

That's the realistic version.

Now if we're talking about my fantasy ideal alien foursome roommates dating sim:

Turian

Drell

Angara

[saph-y]

Tagged by @dingoat♥ A while ago BUT today I have trouble getting to work grading some students so thank you for the procrastination instead xD

3 ships (did the first that came into my mind !)

Siv(my oc)/Archibald(selkys's oc) : Truly The Ship, at the core of the story I'm rp-ing with Selkys. They fought the plot AND tons of shit in-universe to be together. How to sumarize them... ha, picture an evil genius Sith Lord suddenly switching his whole reason of living from revenge to absolute devotion toward his fiery sunshine smol wife and you get and idea !

Hazel(OC)/Sycamore (Pokemon) : Basically started because I wanted to explore a ship with Sycamore and Hazel was my only Pokemon OC at the time - I didn't even knew much about him except I liked his design and vibes immensely. I actually managed to write a deliciously complicated story around them and I really hope to explore more♥

Willow(OC)/Grimsley(Pokemon) : Willow is my pokemas protag and in a game were you basically meet all pokemon trainers, I do have many ships with her and that is originally why she was created, just a character to be indulgent and explore different stuff. But Grimsley is my fav pairing for her because I imagined such a """fun""" (for me 8D) dynamic between them ! Two word : trust issues.

First Ship

I can't really remember my first FIRST ship, but growing up I wasn't too much into romance stories I think. But I do vividly remember my first "holy shit you can do THAT??" when playing Mass Effect 2 for the first time and discovering you could romance Garrus. Thus, my first "active" ship was born (meaning I was actively searching/producing works around it) Guess I was a monsterfucker all along Thank you Bioware for expanding my imagination 🫶

Last Song

At this very moment I'm listening to Wild Child by The Black Keys (love vibing to this band.)

Currently Reading

Just started Men at Arms by Terry Pratchett and I'm delighted to be finally reunited with the idiots of the city watch♥ I waited for MONTHS to get to a proper library that had it...

Last Film

...Not sure ? A silly spy film I forgot the title I think ? ...If I can offer a serie instead, I'm currently watching Lupin the Third part 4 and 5 ! It's funny how every Lupin thing I watch feels like meeting with long time dear friends even tho it's not a universe I've been aware of for that long... is that weird ? xD But given how fanartists for this fandom influenced my artstyle for years before I even saw a single film (yep, do you understand some stuff about it now ? :p) it might be the reason !

Currently Craving

Hum... idk ? ...Maybe another coffee xD But that would not be a good idea and thus I must resist u_u

[mosscreeper-ao3]

Welcome!

Hi there! I'm Zaki (زكي), a 24 y/o bi trans man (with raging AuDHD) writing the queer romance I want to see in the world. You can find me on AO3 here. I almost exclusively write queer sci-fi fics and here you'll mostly find Mass Effect and Voltron content. You can also call me Moss.

I write canon compliant with occasional minor tweaks which are noted in the tags. For all my works and series, I also try to write all my smut scenes/fics in a way that they can be skipped over without losing too much context from the larger narrative to make them friendly for people who just want the narrative bits.

I ask that minors do NOT engage with any of my 18+ content, particularly my E rated fics. Any content I feel is raunchy will be tagged as “#for the adults” for the sake of filtering convenience. Anything I’d consider strictly 18+ will be marked mature and thus should not appear to minors and be censored for adults. In short, reader discretion is advised.

Please note that, while I try to update my works on a regular schedule, I am disabled so things happen. My father also recently passed away. All updates for delays can be found tagged as “#mosscreeper updates”.

Directory of my fandom playlists

Voltron headcanon masterlist

Ask box is always open but please be mindful of the boundaries below. Do not DM me if you are a minor.

Things I would love for you to ask/send

Fic requests/prompts (whether I fulfill those requests and when is left to my discretion)

Questions about my fics and/or writing process

Questions about my headcanons

Your thoughts on the media I post about

Your headcanons

TW or tag requests for existing fics/posts

Things that will get you blocked

Any racist, colorist, misogynistic, antisemetic, zionist/pro-Israel, homophobic, transphobic, etc BS

Unsolicited criticism (I have beta readers, you are not one of them)

A failure to follow don’t like/don’t read etiquette (Yes, that includes any posts about why I think a certain ship is icky. Don’t like me talking shit? Block me and move on.)

Questions about my anatomy as a trans man

Questions about my IRL sex life

18+ anything from minors, this includes flirtatious comments

My general policy is that I do not care what you ship either between adults or between minors in the same age range. Keep this in mind when sending asks. Additionally, I will not write abusive or incestuous relationships, including adoptive siblings.

Below the cut is a directory of my fics.

Whumptober 2024 Masterlist

Flufftober 2024

Mass effect-Fuse Us Into Unity

My main mshenko series

Carnivore-provides backstory for John Alan Shepard, M rating, unfinished

Halo-Kaidan and Shepard have sex with each other for the first time, E rating, 2k

Dark on Me-Kaidan recalls falling in love with Shepard, T rating, 2k

Manifest-self-indulgent bondage smut, E rating, 3.6k

Point of No Return-my rendition of the "just a quick drink" scene, E rating, 1.6k

Trials-my rendition of Shepard and Liara swapping memories before the final battle of ME3, T rating, 1.1k

Starlight-my main story mshenko post-canon fic, M rating, unfinished

Voltron-You Can Run Away with Me Anytime You Want

My main Kallurance series

Not the Desperate Type-post-canon prologue for my kallurance series, unfinished and on temporary hiatus

Voltron-Your Most Obvious Weakness

My main Jaith series

Accompanying playlist here.

Prelude: Terms and Conditions-James realizes Keith isn't coming back, chapters 2-13 are part of Whumptober 2024, M rating, 15k

Act 1: You and I Were Fireworks-Keith returns to Earth and James, M rating, 9.2k

Interlude: Breakfast-fluffy one shot, what it says on the tin, T rating, 1.2k

It Will Come Back-Keith comes down with something and James takes it upon himself to look after his boyfriend, T rating, 1.5k

I also have drabbles for both which are updated every so often here for Voltron and here for Mass Effect. All drabbles are 100-200 words long.

[preztee]

Shenko (And Its Many Variations)

So, I've been replaying the Mass Effect trilogy. In regards to my "canon run", I've been torn between my Male Shepard and my Female Shepard. Their romances with Kaidan both have their pros and cons, and I can't quite decide which one clicks for me. Literally, I made a personal pros and cons list and I still can't decide.

But, this also means I've been a little unwell in the head test trying different scenarios with both Shepards. This post is meant to document my findings and hopefully help out anyone who might want to romance Kaidan, but doesn't know how they want to go about it.

Disclaimer: This post will talk about the vanilla, un-modded Mass Effect trilogy. I play on console, so I tragically do not have the luxury of the Nexus! This is for anyone who plays vanilla or plays on console like me! If you're on PC, and if none of the options below suit you, there is probably a mod that can help you out!

To begin, Shenko is very flexible. There are several variations, and it can easily be sculpted to the preferences of the player. First of all, Kaidan is bisexual, and can be romanced by both Male Shepard and Female Shepard. So, you got those options. You want a slowburn? Yeah, you can avoid romancing anyone until you run into Kaidan again in Mass Effect 3. You want the angsty forbidden love, "we never officially broke up, but we're not really together right now, it's COMPLICATED" dynamic, then yeah! You can get that too! With this in mind, I will be splitting up this post in terms of their different, possible dynamics, and the restrictions that come with each Shepard.

The Slow Burn Dynamic

Kaidan is one of three original companions whose romance can be initiated in Mass Effect 3. If Kaidan has not been romanced in Mass Effect 1, then Shenko becomes more of an angsty slow burn. There are unspoken feelings, lost time... waiting to romance Kaidan in the last game of the series is just as tragic as the other Shenko variations. The only difference is that their feelings were never expressed until the world was ending.

The Slow Burn Dynamic - Male Shepard

In the vanilla game, this is the default dynamic for Male Shepard and Kaidan. He can only be romanced in Mass Effect 3. However, it does not hurt the ship any. With a slow burn in mind, Male Shepard is allowed to talk freely with Kaidan in Mass Effect 1 without accidentally triggering his romance, and without being forced to be rude or turn him down. While it's messed up Kaidan wasn't a romance option for Male Shepard in the first game, we can still take the good from the bad - especially in the context of a slow burn.

Male Shepard's dialogue with Kaidan is a bit more dry in Mass Effect 1. However, a Female Shepard going for a slow burn will also wind up on the same dialogue path as a Male Shepard.

A Shepard on the slow burn path will notice that a lot of Kaidan's dialogue and scenes still seem somewhat... charged. If you haven't romanced anyone, Kaidan will be the companion who interacts with Shepard in Mass Effect 2's prologue, he will still be used to get to Shepard by the Collectors, he will still say losing Shepard felt like losing a limb... there's a lot of goodies to be discovered.

To initiate a slow burn romance with Kaidan as a Male Shepard, you must:

Save Kaidan on Virmire (duh).

Ensure you haven't triggered the romance for any other character by the point of Mass Effect 3. This will lock you out of Kaidan's romance otherwise. I'd recommend not romancing anyone else in the previous two games for the feel of it all, but that is ultimately up to you and your Shepard.

Buy Kaidan the bottle of whiskey while he's in the hospital, exhaust all dialogue with him, and visit whenever you get an email from him.

Avoid killing him during the confrontation and invite him back on the Normandy. Talk to him after every mission.

Meet up with him on the Citadel and return his feelings.

-

PROS

There is zero effort required to initiate the slow burn. This is the default state. You will not have to be rude or turn him down in Mass Effect 1.

Kaidan's confession at Apollo's is much more sweet with Male Shepard than it is with Female Shepard due to him being more shy and roundabout in addressing the slow burn. After all this time, indeed...

CONS

Ashley is the character who approaches the beacon on Eden Prime, meaning Male Shepard will not have the opportunity to push Kaidan out of the way and talk to him after the mission.

Kaidan does not hold or kiss Male Shepard's hand while at Apollo's.

Said scene with Kaidan is also cut short in comparison to the one with Female Shepard. A lot of dialogue is cut and it immediately jumps to their sex scene, rather than allowing for Male Shepard to request that they merely cuddle (which Female Shepard CAN do).

The Slow Burn Dynamic - Female Shepard

This is where things get a little tricky. While mostly similar to Male Shepard's, if you're playing as a Female Shepard and want her romance with Kaidan to be a slow burn, you'll have to follow a few specific steps when it comes to Mass Effect 1.

It is notoriously easy to prematurely romance Kaidan as a Female Shepard. Thankfully, there is one specific line of dialogue where you can abort the romance early on.

To initiate a slow burn romance with Kaidan as a Female Shepard, you must:

[True Slow Burn] When talking to Kaidan after the first hearing, you unfortunately must shut him down. This is the only way to avoid Kaidan letting on about his feelings for Female Shepard (aside from outright ignoring him!). When he apologizes for getting informal, choose the bottom-right option: Just be ready.

OR

[OPTIONAL: Turned Down, Followed By a Slow Burn] You can be nice to Kaidan after the first meeting, but this will also mean Kaidan will outwardly ask Female Shepard if he's getting mixed signals or not. You can abort a romance with him by gently turning him down.

Save Kaidan on Virmire (duh).

Ensure you haven't triggered the romance for any other character by the point of Mass Effect 3. This will lock you out of Kaidan's romance otherwise. I'd recommend not romancing anyone else in the previous two games for the feel of it all, but that is ultimately up to you and your Shepard.

Buy Kaidan the bottle of whiskey while he's in the hospital, exhaust all dialogue with him, and visit whenever you get an email from him.

Avoid killing him during the confrontation and invite him back on the Normandy. Talk to him after every mission.

Meet up with him on the Citadel and return his feelings.

-

PROS

Kaidan is the character who approaches the beacon on Eden Prime, meaning Female Shepard WILL have the opportunity to push Kaidan out of the way and talk to him after the mission. You can talk to him freely in this conversation, just not the one after the first hearing.

Kaidan will hold and kiss Female Shepard's hand while at Apollo's.

The scene before they attack Cerberus' base with Kaidan is not altered in anyway. There is additional dialogue, and Female Shepard can ask that they merely cuddle instead of have sex. Kaidan is the only love interest in the whole game who will not leave when Shepard asks for this.

[ASEXUAL SHEPARD] Kaidan's slow burn route for a Female Shepard is the only one where you can avoid sex without any consequences (like a character breaking up, leaving the room, or incorrectly claiming they did sleep together). In both the Citadel DLC and in the scene mentioned above, Female Shepard can choose to cuddle with Kaidan and he will be totally fine and happy with this.

CONS

You have to be careful talking to him in Mass Effect 1 if you want a slow burn. Either you'll be forced to be somewhat rude to him (and miss out on a good chunk of his first conversation mentioning Rahna), or you'll have to outright reject him. This does, however, work out well with a Shepard who starts off very formal and cold but defrosts over the course of the plot.

Kaidan's confession at Apollo's is a little bit more generic and blunt than his confession to a Male Shepard.

The Angsty Forbidden Love, "We Never Officially Broke Up, But We're Not Really Together Right Now, It's COMPLICATED" Dynamic

In contrast to a slow burn, one can choose to romance Kaidan in Mass Effect 1. This section will be shorter, since it is unfortunately impossible to romance Kaidan as a Male Shepard in the first game. Without mods, anyways, but that's not what this post is about. There will also be a lack of a pros and cons section, since there is no Male Shepard version of the romance to compare it to. And I won't be comparing this dynamic to the slow burn dynamic because there are no objective pros or cons. Just preferences!

Actually, the only objective pro is that Kaidan's dialogue with a Female Shepard who has not turned his advances down is a lot better and more full of character.

This version of Shenko has very high ups and very low downs! And, of course, many different outcomes. It's the forbidden love in Mass Effect 1. The drama of the Horizon encounter in Mass Effect 2. Kaidan's letter to Shepard. Their reunion in Mass Effect 3. "Don't 'Kaidan' me!"

To initiate an Angsty Forbidden Love, "We Never Officially Broke Up, But We're Not Really Together Right Now, It's COMPLICATED," romance with Kaidan as a Female Shepard, you must:

Talk to Kaidan after every mission in Mass Effect and take all of the kind and flirty dialogue options. Whenever Kaidan asks if he's overstepping, tell him he isn't.

Avoid romancing Liara; you must turn down her advances.

Save Kaidan on Virmire (duh).

Accept Kaidan's company before arriving to Ilos.

You can romance someone else in Mass Effect 2, but I would recommend against it as Kaidan's dialogue is sweeter in Mass Effect 3 if you don't. Again, preferences though! You might like that drama!

Ensure you haven't locked in the romance for any other character by the point of Mass Effect 3.

Buy Kaidan the bottle of whiskey while he's in the hospital, exhaust all dialogue with him, and visit whenever you get an email from him.

Avoid killing him during the confrontation and invite him back on the Normandy. Talk to him after every mission.

Meet up with him on the Citadel and renew your feelings.

-

There are also other options, of course. Like not getting back together with him. Not getting with him at all. Letting him die on Virmire. Shooting him during the confrontation. But, these are more self explanatory!

I hope this wall of text was helpful, or at least enjoyable to read! I might have missed something, so if there's any other fun facts you want to share, please feel free to add them! Or ask me any questions! Have fun hunting for that Canadian booty!