#like every gosh darn fandom is bitter

[bandsanitizer]

.

[theother-will-grayson]

Overcompensating

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Summary: So, it's Thanksgiving, and Virgil is spending it with his boyfriend's family for the first time. In the quiet of post-party cleaning and after dinner coffee, Virgil gains a home and a family. Human!AU. 

Pairings: Paternal Moxiety. Background est Analogical, background est Logicality.

Warnings: none

Also on AO3 and FFN

The smells of turkey and pie had faded, and November’s early night had descended, frosty but snowless. The house, once singing with wine-flushed laughter and childish delight now only held four exhausted, lazy bodies. A Christmas movie played unwatched on the TV in the living room where Logan sat reading a book, Roman lying asleep next to him and quite possibly drooling on his lap. Occasionally, Logan would catch Virgil watching him from his perch on the kitchen counter. They’d exchange a smirk and then go back to their respective activities — Logan to his reading and Virgil to watching Patton clean up.

“Here ya go, kiddo.” Patton handed Virgil a steaming mug of black coffee, too hot to drink for now. “Watch your head.” Virgil scooted over to allow Patton access to the cabinet the was blocking. “Thanks, you’re a peach!”

“Let me help you.” Virgil made to set the mug down and hop down from his perch, feeling guilty and awkward as a guest in this man’s house, perhaps one that was overstaying his welcome despite also claiming the guest room.

Patton chuckled — not malicious, but joyful. “You are helping, ya little moonbeam. You’re keeping me company.” He started in on tossing clean silverware in the drawer. “Drink your coffee.”

Folding his legs back under him and settling in, Virgil obeyed, blowing on it for a little bit before taking a cautious sip. Jesus. An involuntary shudder ran through his body. “You people really don’t mess around with your joe, do you? Shit.” He clapped his hand over his mouth. “Sorry.”

Patton laughed and took the cup from Virgil’s hand. “Oh goodness, you pure, beautiful lamb. Here, let’s do this.” He turned the sink on and waited for the water to warm up.“Sorry, kiddo. I live with two hyper-intelligent workaholics. I had to get used to strong coffee, too.”

Virgil chose not to say anything, but Patton corrected himself anyways, frowning and staring at nothing for a moment. “One. I live with one hyper-intelligent workaholic now.” Their eyes didn’t meet as Patton handed back the coffee, now cooler and watered down a little. There were the gentle beginnings of tears in Patton’s eyes as his gaze fixed on the living room. “You’re lucky, seeing him every day.”

Virgil’s grip on the mug tightened. What the fuck was he supposed to say to that? “I know.”

Patton sighed, pushing up his glasses to wipe at his eyes. “Gosh, this is ridiculous. It’s only been two months.”

“Exactly.” Virgil shrugged, sipping his coffee. Much better. “It’s only been two months. Give it time, it’ll get easier.”

That earned him a smile as Patton straightened himself out and went back to his task. A companionable silence fell over the kitchen, the only sound the clatter of dishes and the faint sound of jingle bells lilting from the living room.

The coffee was warm, smelled sharp, wafting in tufts of steam from Virgil’s hands to his nose. It was the same warmth and spice that had massaged his senses the moment he walked into the house. Patton’s radiant smile occasionally thrown his way, Roman’s gentle snores, and Logan’s gentle hand on his sleeping father’s shoulder, only moving to turn a page…

“Whatcha thinking about, kiddo?” Patton was wiping down the stove mechanically, watching him.

“Hm?”

“You’re smiling for the first time since Logan’s Aunt Debbie arrived.”

So he was. Aunt Debbie was a fine woman, but her arrival marked the beginning of the steadily crushing stream of people invading the safe space of the Sanders home, talking and getting drunk and stifling him. He dealt with it, of course. He always had. And Thanksgiving at Logan’s childhood home was certainly better than at his own. But he had yet to figure out if it was worse when Logan’s extended family endlessly pelted him with questions or when they let him melt into the wall and pretended he was nothing more than a decoration to fill the blank wall space in the corner.

“Did you ever think that you’d end up with an astronomy professor for a son?” Virgil asked.

“Not at all,” Patton replied, scooping leftover mashed potatoes. “I used to think I’d end up with an astronaut. Then an entomologist — that’s the one that studies bugs, right? Then a physicist, then a doctor, then an archaeologist, then an environmentalist.” Patton was lost in the memory now, and Virgil was just along for the ride. “I always knew Logan would be a teacher, though.”

“Really? How?”

Patton smiled into his work. “Well, I taught him how to read when Roman was working. We couldn’t afford a nanny or daycare, so it was just me and little Logan all day. But Roman still wanted to participate and be a part of Logan’s life, so he would always ask him, ‘Hey Logan, what’s this word?’ or ‘What does that sign say?’ Eventually, Logan got it in his head that Roman had no idea how to read.”

Virgil nearly snorted coffee out his nose. “Seriously?”

“I have a photo, too.” Chuckling, Patton slapped a lid on the last tupperware filled with leftover sweet potato casserole. “Logan sat him down and said, ‘Papa, it is time you learned something very important.’”

Virgil could just picture a tiny Logan looking sternly at his Papa through his too-large glasses, his hands on his hips, his voice stern, a Dr. Seuss book in his grip. The image made him smile.

Patton sipped his own mug of coffee, shaking his head and leaning against the counter opposite Virgil. “He’s such a precious little nerd. It took all Roman had not to laugh.”

“So you do that to Logan too, huh?”

Patton blinked, eyes owlish behind his thick glasses. “What do you mean?”

Blush heated Virgil’s face in a sharp blast, shattering the easy conversation they had created over the past half an hour or so. “I don’t know. That thing you do. You know, with all the names.”

Patton looked a little embarrassed. “Oh, jeez. I’m sorry. People are always telling me I get a bit weird when I do that.”

Oh, Jesus. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to, like, call you out.”

“Oh, not at all. You wouldn’t be the first anyways.” Patton looked as if there was something else he wanted to say, but his teeth worried his lip instead.

At a loss, Virgil caught Logan’s eye again. He was leaning as if ready to hop up from the couch at the first sign of panic or discomfort on Virgil’s face. What’s wrong? His eyes asked. Virgil opened his mouth, but shook his head. What the fuck was he supposed to do right now?

“Virgil…” Patton’s voice drew him back to the kitchen, Logan’s gaze still burning into his temple. “To be perfectly honest, Logan told me a little bit about your...situation. Not everything!” he quickly reassured, noticing Virgil’s panic. “But just a little about your dad, and what happened to your mom —”

“Nothing happened to my mother,” Virgil bit out. “My mother was something that happened to me, and now she’s gone.”

As soon as the words were out, Virgil wished he hadn’t let his bitterness surface. Patton wrung a dish towel in his hands, obviously uncomfortable with Virgil and everything he had ruined in the night so far.

“What I'm trying to say, Virgil, is that we just wanted to include you.”

What? Patton’s hand was on his knee and Virgil wasn’t pushing it away. He felt unsure, he felt confused, he felt —

“When Logan asked to bring you home, I was beyond ecstatic to mean the man who makes my little go-getter poindexter so darn happy. I said yes, obviously, but when Logan told me about your home life, it broke my heart. It really did. So I panicked, I started thinking of ways to show you what real family is like. That’s why I asked everybody to make an effort to talk to you. It’s why I got Logan to have you sleep over. It’s why I decided to get in the habit of calling you the same weird pet names I call everyone that I care about. I may have overcompensated a little, but I just wanted you to feel like you’re part of this family, because you are.”

Virgil met Patton’s warm brown eyes, at a loss for words. “Thank you,” he managed. “Thank you.” And then he had to set his coffee down, had to jump down from the counter, had to throw his arms around Patton and bury his face in his neck, breathe in his scent. He smelled like cologne, like wine, like pumpkin, like all the things a real father should smell like.

“Thank you, kiddo.”

Virgil felt a hand on his shoulder and peeked out to see Logan, smiling at him in approval and relief. In all the overflowing emotion, Virgil hadn’t even considered Logan, seeing his boyfriend and his father hugging in the kitchen on one of the most family-oriented days of the year.

“Ugh, what time is it?” Roman’s voice pierced the moment, low and rough. He shuffled past the now broken hug and picked up the mug from the counter, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He took a sip, and promptly made a gagging motion which was obviously dramatized, because it’s Roman. “Gah, whose water is this?”

“Uh, mine.” Virgil raised his hand, vaguely cautious of the consequences.

Roman’s groggy gaze fixated on Virgil. He didn’t break eye contact as he dumped the coffee straight into the sink, grabbed the pot, poured himself another cup, and sipped it. He ruffled Virgil’s hair as he headed back towards the living room. “Welcome to the family, Sir Broods-a-lot.”

Virgil looked around at his new family, full of smiles and hugs and nicknames and little thumb strokes and love. Okay, so that’s what Thanksgiving is supposed to feel like.

~

@ironwoman359

I don’t do all that much regular posting, but if you would like to be added to my general taglist, I would happily oblige and also appreciate the compliment!

[professor-spacecakes]

3: Ever had a terrible breakup?

I’ve never been in a proper romantic relationship, so none in that sense. I’ve had a really terrible friend break-up though. It’s a long story, so I’ll put it under Read More.

They’d approached me as a fan of one of my fanfictions and we ended up playing Overwatch together nearly every night. We got to be fast friends, and they even helped me start taking commissions for the first time, since they were an artist themselves.

Things were going okay for a while. They opened up to me and I tried my best to open up to them. They claimed to have a number of mental issues and I tried my best to be as supportive as humanly possible. I changed how I spoke for them, omitted certain words and even entire subjects from my vocabulary. I dropped everything and talked to them whenever they asked me to.

Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to afford me the same consideration. It started to unravel after I started streaming our Overwatch games for a while. We garnered a small following and decided to open up a Discord server for the fans. This friend of mine made it, since I barely knew how to use Discord at the time. After a little while, this friend grew uncomfortable with the discussions on the server and, without warning to anyone, just deleted it one night while I was asleep.

In the morning I found out about it from a post they’d made on tumblr that simply said they wouldn’t be joining in the streams anymore. I messaged them to ask what was wrong, and they said they decided dropping out of the streams was for their mental health and that they nuked the server. I remained calm, said it was okay, and merely stated that I would have liked for them to talk to me about it beforehand. They said “Why? This has nothing to do with you,” and I was just like… It kinda has everything to do with me? It was strange, since they had a habit of practically asking permission to do things when it had absolutely nothing to do with me. Honestly, looking back at it now, them saying that was probably a back-handed jab at me for saying they don’t need to consult with me on every little thing.

Anyway, that discussion sort of devolved into an argument. I said I was a little upset by what they’d done, because they always said I should let them know when they’ve done or said something to upset them, since they’d done that to me countless times. I’d always apologize profusely and promise never to do the thing again. This was the first time I’d gathered the courage to very calmly and politely raise my own concerns. Their response? “I’m sorry you feel that way.” This upset me even more, because it felt like they were putting the blame on me for being upset. I tried to explain this to them, again very calmly and politely, but they just started crying and said they don’t understand. I tried for hours to explain myself, because I was determined to actually stand up for myself for once and not to wimp out and bow my head like usual, but they were incapable of seeing someone else’s perspective on anything.

At this point, I didn’t know what to do. I asked a mutual friend of ours for advice, and they suggested we get into a group call together. It ended up with both of them ganging up on me, because of course I’m the mean one for making the one friend cry, even though they turn on the water works for everything. I mean literally everything. Then they tried to use the excuse that they were saying that to make me angry, thinking that I wouldn’t be sad anymore if I was mad for a second, because that’s apparently how they worked. I explained that’s not at all how I worked, and they were just like “oops lol” and went back to talking like nothing ever happened and never apologizing, despite the fact that I was still upset.

Rather than stream without them, because I knew playing Overwatch without them would upset them despite them being the one that didn’t want to do it anymore, I just quit streaming altogether to devote all of my game time to them.

Things kinda started to unravel after that. I once shared a video of a comedian whom I wasn’t aware they happened to despise, and even though I profusely apologized and promised not to share his videos with them anymore, they continued to hold that up as a counter every time they shared something with me that I didn’t care for, like watching that one video was the equivalent of donating a kidney to me and I owed it to them to watch and discuss stuff I didn’t like.

My depression got super bad in the months that followed, to the point where I could barely muster the energy to think. This friend kept messaging me everyday, and I really tried my best to reply to them as best I could, but all I could manage most of the time were one or two word responses. My brain was mush and I just felt so empty of everything. They kept hassling me to tell them what was wrong, and I did. I told them that I was in a bad spot with my depression and that I felt hollow. They just said they didn’t understand and, after the first thing they tried to do to cheer me up didn’t magically work, they got upset at me. I asked them what they wanted from me, and they said I wasn’t being “cheery” enough about my depression. “Gosh golly, [REDACTED], I’m just so darn depressed! Let’s just keep talking about things we like as though nothing’s wrong!” They literally wanted me to act that way. That’s what they said to me.

After that, I tried to adjust my sleep to stop staying up all night, and because of that I started missing our game sessions for a time. They assumed I was avoiding them. I wasn’t, I was genuinely sleeping. Then, any time I posted about anything in a negative light, they automatically assumed I was vagueing about them. I wasn’t, and despite telling them I wasn’t they started blatantly vagueing about me. I didn’t bother bringing it up. I knew I wouldn’t win that argument, and I didn’t have the energy for it.

Finally, again without any warning, I woke up one day to find that they’d unfriended and blocked me on all platforms, and created a new discord group for our Overwatch crew, only without me there. Despite all they’d done to that point, I wasn’t ready for our friendship to just be over like that. It sent my depression into full on suicidal mode. I made a few vaguely suicidal posts here on tumblr, and thankfully a lot of my followers jumped on that and sent me countless messages of support. They managed to calm me down before I did something stupid. You guys know who you are if you’ve stuck around since then. I legitimately owe you guys my life.

Unfortunately, and I know it was well-meaning, one of my followers that knew I was good friends with this person (but didn’t know they were the cause of me being so upset) contacted them and told them what was going on. So this person called me. On the phone. I’d like to emphasize this, because I don’t give my number to fucking anyone, but they’d pressured it out of me one day.

Anyway, they started off asking if my ringtone (”You Got The Touch” from the 80′s Transformers movie at the time) played when they called. I said it did and they said that made them happy. They then went on to talk about how they got complimented for a tote bag that I had sent them for Christmas, saying they thought that’d make me happy because I got it for them. I’d literally just recovered from a complete mental breakdown barely an hour before, so I was so completely exhausted that I could barely mumble out one-word responses.

So then they launch into this whole story about how they were suicidal before, except they were really gonna do it (implying I was just doing it for attention) but they randomly got a phone call from someone they never talk to that was also suicidal and that made them stop. Then they kinda sat there expecting me to thank them for being that person for me, but they weren’t, and it’s against my personal code of honor to lie to someone, even if it’s paying false compliments.

So then they started yelling at me, saying I was mean and selfish and an asshole and a genuinely bad person, ranting at me without letting me get a word in. Then they yelled at me for not getting angry. Then they they went back to trying to talk to me like nothing happened. I was too drained to say much, but I was still trying to cling to the friendship despite all that had happened, and tried to continue talking to them, afraid they’d never talk to me again if I hung up. Eventually I gave up and we ended the call and I went to bed.

In the morning I was a lot calmer and able to think more clearly. I sent a message to this person (having convinced them to unblock me the night before) and stated that we were clearly just people with personalities that naturally clashed, and that I didn’t expect them to try to be friends anymore. I was much more polite than I should have been.

I seethed internally for more than a year after that, the hate and rage and sadness for this former friend boiling endlessly inside me. There was literally not a day during that year that I didn’t think of them, and it was almost never in a kind way. I still get upset just thinking of them, and things I used to associate with them have sort of become triggers for me. I quit art for a year because they were an artist and I wanted to distance myself from them as much as possible. I avoid Transformers, a fandom I’d gotten them into to the point of them obsessing over it, particularly Rodimus. RoadRat now has an underlying bitterness to it. I flinch whenever I hear or read things they used to say constantly, like “heckin” or “blease” or using question marks in the middle of sentences that aren’t questions, or loud declarations of one’s homosexuality when they see something they like or are attracted to; unfortunate, as these are still quite common in today’s internet slang. I have a paranoid panic attack whenever I see anyone online with the word “Scrub” in their username. I’m automatically wary of anyone who has the same mental illness(es) as them because they always used that as an excuse for everything they did to me. I feel especially guilty about that one, but I can’t help it. They were sex-obsessed, so I’ve become repulsed by anyone talking to me or about me in a sexual manner. I automatically keep fans that approach me and try to become friends with me at arm’s length, because that’s how they came into my life. Because of that, I can count all of the friends I have on just one hand.

So yeah, that’s the story.

[kelekiahshadya]

Valentine Fandom Meme

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends! This year I’m on time!

For Valentine’s this year, I wanted to do the same meme I did last year, but this time I did it with a new fandom. This is originally an ask meme, but since I never get asks, I’m doing it as a regular meme. Taken from courierhawk’s reblog; original questions from thevirdirthara.

Harry Potter series

Your favorite non-canon ship?

I have quite a few non-canon ships, but I think Lunarry (HarryXLuna) is my favorite. I’ve always liked their chemistry and friendship.

Is there a ship you didn’t like at first but ultimately started shipping?

I used to hate Dramione (DracoXHermione) on principle, but then I read a beautiful fanfic that made it more realistic for me.

What is the rarest rare pair (that you ship)?

A Harry Potter series rare pair? Do those exist? Lol, probably Lunarry or Druna (DracoXLuna)? I don’t really ship rare things in Harry Potter—that I know of, anyway. I haven’t dipped into fanfiction for the fandom for a while. I don’t know what’s popular and what’s not anymore.

Name a popular ship you don’t get the appeal of.

Yaoi, yuri, and incest in general (also pedophiliac ships), but especially Snack (SeverusXSirius). I just, NO. I may not ship Wolfstar (SiriusXRemus) and Drarry (HarryXDraco), but at least I understand them.

What is your most fluffy + happy ship?

Probably Luneville (NevilleXLuna). No relationship is perfectly happy or fluffy, but I think these two have the most to be fluffy about as they support each other in their struggles.

What is your most angsty ship?

Probably either Dramione or Sevily (SeverusXLily). The circumstances required for these ships to work out are tough, angst-filled roads.

A non-canon ship that should be canon?

This one’s a little tough because it is technically kinda sorta canon in the movies, but Luneville because gosh darn, they are cute.

Your oldest ship; the one you’ve shipped for the longest time?

This one is hard to say. Every ship I’ve ever shipped in Harry Potter has spent at one time or another time as a ship I did not ship. My shipping influence in YuGiOh really helped ground me in how I ended up shipping things in my other fandoms—coming to terms with my multishipping tendencies as well as my innate desire to ship the potentials for ships rather than just what canon put in front of me. In light of this, I think Romione (RonXHermione) is my longest-standing ship.

What ship represents the kind of relationship you’d love to have?

Lunarry. I really like the way they support each other and look after each other, and I love that they can be themselves around each other and accept each other, even those parts of one another that may be more negative. I think the most important part of a romantic relationship is friendship, and I think Luna and Harry have this as well.

Is there a ship that makes your skin crawl?

Like I said in the last Valentine meme I did, yaoi and yuri are uncomfortable for me, but incest and pedophilia will always make my skin crawl.

What is a character you can only imagine in one particular ship?

Is it cliché of me to say most of the married couples? I mean, I do ship Lily with more than one person, but other than that, I don’t really ship that generation much.

What is your favorite canon ship?

I have two, and it’s complicated. Of all my ships, especially canon ships, I have been back and forth the most on my feelings for Jily (JamesXLily) and Hinny (HarryXGinny). I sort of shipped them when I first started reading just because I was young and impressionable, and canon displayed them for me to see. Then I went through a period where I hated James and Harry and refused to love anything about their canon pairings, but then I matured, and now I love them both. The fanart and fanfiction for these ships are generally very cute, and I enjoy that.

Name a ship that deserved more content.

All of my non-canon ships XD *shot* Honestly, it would be nice to have been able to see more of Ronks (RemusXTonks) just because I felt like their relationship wasn’t ever fully fleshed out on screen. It also weirds me out that Tonks is only a few years older than Harry, but she still ends up married to someone Harry’s dad’s age.

Is there a ship you feel gets undeserved hate in fandom?

Depends on what corner of the fandom you’re in. Honestly, all of the ships in Harry Potter have hate somewhere. I don’t think any one of them is necessarily hated more than another. In fact, for every hater, there’s probably at least two huge fans.

What is the first ship you had?

If I know my child self as well as I think I do (which is that I believed canon was holy and everything in it was fact), then that would probably be Charry (HarryXCho), which is one ship I no longer ship all that much.

Is there a ship that made you realize something about yourself?

Not really. Most of my realizations about myself concerning shipping came from YuGiOh. As far as myself as a person, I don’t really know.

Is there a type of ship you always go for?

This answer is gonna be really similar to the one from the YuGiOh meme I did last year. Depends on the situation. I’m a sucker for strong female characters who could be paired with lots of guys because I’m such a multishipper, and I love cute fluffy pairings. I do like ships with interesting conflict, but the fluffy ones always get me, or even just the potential for fluff.

Is there a ship the writers have ruined for you?

If you’d asked me that about ten years ago, I would have said Jily, probably. Now, though, I can’t say that one exists.

Is there a ship the fandom has ruined for you?

Not really. Fandom tends to help me ship more things rather than ruin ships for me.

Have you ever created fan created content for a ship?

Let me think on that. I’ve never drawn any of my ships, but as far as writing goes, I’ve briefly mentioned Romione in one oneshot. The only other thing I can think of is that my Harry Potter OC is Harry’s younger sister, which makes her a Jily baby.

Favorite thing you’ve ever created for a ship?

Considering I’ve done basically nothing, does my OC count? XD

Is there a ship you’ll never admit you have?

No. I’m not ashamed of my ships. I admit that I don’t talk about some of them as much, but that doesn’t mean I don’t ship them or that I’m afraid to admit it.

Have you ever started shipping a ship because of the fans?

My love for Dramione can be blamed on the fans.

What is one scene you want to see happen for all your ships?

I still like the idea of a proposal for all of them, but weddings would be fantastic, too.

Is there a ship you wish you didn’t know existed? 

Anything incest or pedophilia.

Name a ship that ended like you wanted it to.

Hinny and Romione because they get married and have kids and are probably way cute families alskdfjlaskdf

Name a ship that deserved better in the end.

Jily or Ronks. I know, I know, without Jily’s bitter end, the series wouldn’t exist, and Ronks makes the orphan cycle come full circle, but gosh dangit, THEY DESERVED TO BE HAPPY.

Is there a character you have several ships for?

As a multishipper, there will always be characters with more than one ship. As far as several goes, though, not really in the Harry Potter series. In this series, probably Harry, but I only ship him with three girls: Ginny, Luna, and Hermione (though Harmony only in certain fanfiction). If you include crossover ships (which I do have because I can’t help it), then that is still Harry, though Hermione becomes a close second.

What is the ship you ignore 98% of canon for?

Sevily, though sometimes Dramione (except I don’t like the way some fanfiction authors bend Draco in order to make Dramione work).

Is there a ship you like but you dislike the fandom?

Sometimes Harmony shippers rub me the wrong way, mostly because they tend to slip into Ron bashing. I don’t love him as much as I used to, but Ron was my favorite character when I first read the series, and he doesn’t deserve as much hate as he gets (though I admit, I have read some pretty good fics that include a little Ron bashing).

I ship a lot less in Harry Potter than I do in YuGiOh, but hey, that’s alright. If you wanna talk ships with me, don’t be afraid to hit me up. I’d love to chat~ See you all next year probably with another one of these maybe? We’ll see.

[shimmy-sham-with-the-fam]

🐰🌠☀️🎁💙🐇🌻🍓 Beans, Tonpa, Hisoka, Illumi ☕️🌸🎵⚡️💚💎🌺🍀☁️🐬🍄🍪🍰😪🙀💥😊🎤🎨🐶Hisoka, Tonpa, Illumi 🐴 Duct taped fetus 🍋📚🐧🐵💫👻🎀🎬🍦🐼 ~ 🍀

Hrrnnngh oh my gosh so many emojis! Darn you “anon” :P I know who you are!!!!!!

I’m gonna put all of this under the cut because it’s just... really long.

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

Answer: I... really honestly can’t think of one? Like honest to God, I am usually such an open person! Well, about myself. I can keep someone else’s secrets, but God forbid me to keep my own XD

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like? 

Answer: I’d like to say more accepting but... I can’t help but to feel that putting me in a position of power wouldn’t be a very good idea. I’m a human disaster, honestly. I’d try to do good and somehow destroy the world in the process.

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

Answer: Well first off, I have two best friends soooo :P @dragmakihiveka and @destructionofsanctum are both equally my best friends in the entire world! No one could ever replace them! I think my favorite thing about the both of them though is that they are just... so patient with me. I know I can rely on them and not sugar coat things for me. It’s honestly the best, just like them

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

Answer: Many things! My best friends, my boyfriend, HxH, the many friends I have made through HxH, music, ice cream! Those are the things I can think of off the top of my head!

💙 what annoys you about some people?

Answer: Well... I guess that some people can just... say/do things knowing full well that they can and/or did hurt someone else. Like, the fact that some people can just sleep peacefully at night knowing that their actions caused someone else pain. It kills me.

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

Answer: .... All of these Killugon AU’s, my fresh dudes.

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

Answer: 1. The way people treat one another

2. Killugon would entirely be canon (Can I do that? Does that count?)

3. Everyone could actually get a legit education without feeling like they have to kill themselves to make ends meet.

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

Names: Beans, Tonpa, Hisoka, Illumi

Answer: Hrrrnnghh.... I hate you XD

Kiss Beans on the cheek (Didn’t specify! Rolly Polly Loopy Holey, bitch!)

Befriend... Hisoka??? (Is that even possible??)

Kill Tonpa because... yeah. Ew.

Marry Illumi, steal all his money, then divorce his ass, yeet~

☕️ talk about your ideal day

Answer: Hmm... Either a whole day spent lazing about with friends or walking around the mall or somethin’, or if I’m by myself, I think my ideal day would just be to relax and work on Killugon stuffs.

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

Answer: So I actually didn’t know that ambivert was a thing until now, and I’m so glad honestly. I had always felt like I was a bit of a mixture between the two, but it made me sad whenever I felt I had to be split into one of the two categories. I just felt like sometimes I was really introverted and other times extroverted and then sometimes just kinda fuzzy in between. 

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

Answer: 1. Unconditonally (Acoustic) by Fame On Fire (This song has literally become my life right now tbh.)

2. Don’t Let Me Down by Fame On Fire

3. Bounce by The Cab

4. Can You Keep a Secret? by The Cab

5. Friction by Imagine Dragons

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

Answer: Probs invisibility. I dunno, I just like the thought of being able to disappear when I want to.

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

Answer: No one, honestly. Maybe other artists who I feel have better styles than I do?? But overtime that has become less of jealousy and more of admiration and a convincing of “if I keep practicing, one day I could do that too!”

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

Answer: Hmmm... This took a lot of thinking. I would guess bravery? I feel like I could get a lot more done with myself if I could just convince myself to take the first step.

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

Answer: Unfortunately, as of right now I only know English. :( But there are so many different languages I want to learn! Japanese, German, ASL, Korean, French... The list goes on, really. There are so many unique and beautiful languages in this world! I wish I could just learn them all... 

I actually want to do something with foreign languages... I just haven’t exactly decided what yet ^.^’

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

Answer: So... I don’t ever really imagine myself wanting to be a fictional characters lover? I am always more interested in the relationships within those fictional worlds. So maybe best friends? I want to say I would love to be either Gon or Killua’s best friends because I love them so darn much but... I think I would much rather them be best friends instead, y’know?? They’re just too amazing together whether platonic or romantic...

But I guess... I would most definitely love to be best friends with Leorio!! He’s so funny and cool! Oh but Kurapika is so smart... But Alluka is so cute!!! But Melody is so kind... and Bisky is so strong and amazing! But Canary is so precious... And so is Komugi!!! But but but there’s just... so many good characters in HxH I can’t choose!!! 

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

Answer: Any universe where Gon and Killua are happy together is my kinda universe. 

You know what, I give them so much love, but I really want so many characters happy in that show. I want Leorio and Kurapika happy together. I want Alluka and Zushi happy together. I want Canary and Amane happy together. I guess I want Hisoka and Illumi together but I don’t really care for their happiness (I’m bitter, alright?) The list goes on.

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

Answer: Hmmm... I’m not sure?? Maybe red pandas??? They’re super duper cute!!

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

Answer: My anxiety and depression for sure... Boy I hate it so damn much because it makes me hate myself and that just... Feels like such a wrong feeling to have all the damn time.

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

Answer: I wanted to be an art teacher when I was a kid! But now... I’m not sure... Like I said, something to do with languages! :)

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

Answer: CHOCOLATE!!!! CHEESECAKE!! OREOS!!!! ICE CREAM!!!!!! CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES! BROWNIES! CAKE!!! SWEETS ARE MY LIFE!

😪 what are you sick of?

Answer: Seeing so many amazing people in my life being treated cruelly simply for being who they are. But no matter what, I know I will never be as sick of it as they are :/

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

Answer: Hahahha I frickin’ wish.

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

Answer: I... don’t know??? Honestly, I don’t have any clue... Uhm... I guess maybe that Greed Island was my favorite arc in HxH? And I guess that while I love all the arcs in HxH, I’m truthfully not a huge fan of Yorknew arc that much? I dunno??? (Please don’t kill me)

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

Answer: Drawing! Writing! Reading fanfics! Creating new worlds with my friends! Oh, and hanging out with my friends! Does being a bum on Tumblr dot com count?

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

Answer: Unconditionally (Acoustic) by Fame On Fire

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

Answer: Killugons, of course

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

Names: Tonpa, Hisoka, Illumi

Answer: Bruh... Why??? ... I guess I’ll have to go with the clown man... Not because I actually like him, but because he’s such a complex character and there’s just so much to him. Also, he’s actually a really good looker once you get past all of his... Hisoka-ness.

🐴 opinion on __?

Term: Duct Tape Fetus

Answer: I want to launch myself into the sun, good bye

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

Answer: Haahaha yup. More than what I’d like to be, really.

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

Answer: I don’t really read books much anymore.... Just lots and lots of fanfiction. I also am running on a time schedule here so I’m sorry, but I’m not doing quotes :P

1. Words That Water Flowers By @decembercamiecherries: it’s.... honestly such a beautiful story. Truly, a masterpiece. I’m still so empty now that it’s over. I just wish I could read it all over again~

2. DNA by @killushawn: GUYS THIS HAS BEEN MURDERING ME SO MUCH HONESTLY LIKE... I CAN’T BELIEVE THERE’S ONLY ONE CHAPTER LEFT AND IF YOU HAVEN’T READ IT PLEASE DO SO IT IS ABSOLUTELY FREAKING AMAZING PLEEEAASSSEEEEEEEE

3. And... Well, I guess this probably shouldn’t count but I’m gonna put it anyways. Lately, my friend and I have been working on a Killugon AU where Gon is the lead singer of a rock band and Killua is very pastel. It’s been my life and I’ve been getting a few people into it, but unfortunately there’s no real fic written out for it yet :P Maybe one day we can get it up and moving for others to enjoy~

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

Answer: 1. Open-minded (At least I try to be)

2. Selfish (Probably)

3. creative

🐵 which quotes changed you?

Answer:How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” -Winnie the Pooh. This quote honestly just... I love it so much.

💫 who inspires you?

Answer: Honestly.. every single one of the amazing people I have met so far through this fandom. They’re so kind and amazing, and I can’t express how much I feel I truly belong with this group. Like, every one who leaves a good comment or says that they like my art or writing or both or even just me in general it just... inspires me to do so much more.

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

Answer: I was going to say I’m not quite sure, but then I remember all the nights @dragmakihiveka spent screaming in her house because we were sure some sort of other worldly being was going to tear us apart.

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

Answer: It’s pretty neutral, but I feel like I’m slowly starting to branch out bit by bit ^.^ Now that I have my navel pierced I think I’m gonna start investing in some crop tops! I still feel a bit insecure about my stomach, but I think having the piercing will make me want to show it off and then I will feel better about showing my belly!

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

Answer: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron (I don’t think I spelled that correctly but whatevs), Lion King, Moana, Anastasia, Road to El Dorado, Wolf Children: Ame & Yuki, Hercules, Mulan, Fern Gully, Brother Bear, Star Wars.... There are probs so many more that I’m just not thinking of right now. 

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

Answer: Hmm... In third grade, I had the most amazing teacher! She gave me christmas gifts, she took me out to dinner with her two baby twin boys and adopted little girl, I went to her daughter’s birthday party! She was so amazing! I think her validation was one of the reasons I was able to get a perfect score on my first state test! I got a plaque to prove it! :D

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

Answer: Literally, meeting any one of my friends that I’ve made on here would be a dream come true!

AND THAT’S IT!

WOW THAT TOOK ME A WHOLE FREAKING HOUR TO DO, I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY, “ANON”!!! :P

[getoffthesoapbox]

Thank u so much for your answer, sweetie. VK fandom isn't very well with unpopular opinions, so thank u for not judging. If I'm not bothering you with my questions than I'm glad. The thing I hate about VK is that Zero so tied-up to Kaname and Yuki. I want him to break free from these two monsters. I'm sorry, but I can't understand Zero's endless love for Yuki. I just can't get it! Don't u think it's unhealthy or just light form of madness? He's ready to wait for her all his lifetime,

(continue) he’s ready to live without children, if she don’t want one. I can swear he would be OK to have only Ai, but Yuki is so gentle, thank her for Ren. My gosh. Zero is so okay to see only Yuki, never ever think about another woman. I think he obsessed with her too, he madly in love with her, not like Kaname, but he has another addiction to her. there’s many other fish in the sea, but he’s so sure he will love her until the end of his days. Why? Why only Yuki, Zero? Why her? I’m done :(

Anytime, dearie!

One of Zero’s greatest flaws (and one of the greatest sources of consternation for his fans) is that he has…no sense of entitlement. Zero is a man who appreciates what he receives in his life, even if that’s not much at all. He’ll put up with a great deal just because he’s grateful to have even that little. 

First of all, he’s a man who’s lost everything. His parents were murdered, his brother died in his arms, the girl he loved ended up engaged to the person who orchestrated his parents’ deaths. All the hunters, while they respect Zero, hold him at arms’ length because he’s a vampire and not a human. Kaien treats him like an afterthought (Kaname was always Kaien’s darling, at Zero and Yuuki’s expense). Given all of this, and given the fact that Yuuki did eventually return to him, I think sometimes we all forget just how much Yuuki means to Zero in light of all he’s been through.

I do think the reason Zero is so attached to Yuuki is because she’s the last rock in his life. She’s the reason he wakes up in the morning, the reason he’s still alive. She’s the last one to have known Ichiru. They share a very deep connection grounded in history. She’s always defended him and looked out for him, even when he pushed her away. He’s always said that his life is hers to do with as she wishes, and he’s a man of his word. 

On the surface, Zero’s appreciation for whatever scraps Yuuki will give him is fine. If he’s content, then who are we to judge? However, as people who love Zero (which I can tell that you are, and which I certainly am), our hearts bleed for him because we know the world can offer him so much more than he’s letting in. He is selling himself short, he’s not realizing his worth, and he’s not realizing his full potential by accepting his current lukewarm and uncertain status with Yuuki. 

Right now I would say Zero and Yuuki are in an unhealthy codependent relationship. They “need” each other as a blood source, but Yuuki in particular has so many issues that she can’t properly reciprocate in the relationship. Zero, for his part, is just so darn grateful that she’s alive and that she’s responding to his feelings at all in any capacity, which is more than he’s ever had in his life. Zero may not even know how to ask for “more” from Yuuki because he literally has never experienced “more.” What Yuuki’s giving him now is more than he’s ever received from her or anyone, and he’s the kind of man to appreciate that (which is endearing, but sad as well).

This leads to Zero enabling Yuuki to not pull her weight in the relationship. He’s not expecting anything of her. He’s carrying the whole relationship by himself. He’s asking for nothing from Yuuki other than perhaps some blood every now and then. He has no expectations. This is not an equal partnership and is unhealthy for both of them. Ultimately this status quo can’t continue forever, and one or the other of them is going to need to call this mess out for what it is. 

I do believe, given how Zero becomes bitter again in VKM 1, that either Zero or Yuuki is going to eventually say “enough’s enough” and draw some lines in the relationship. Back in Arc 1 of the original series, Yuuki used to be fantastic about calling Zero out on not valuing himself properly. She’s failed in that task recently, but that was one of the things that made their relationship so stable originally, and I hope they can return to that. Currently, Zero’s only feeding into Yuuki’s guilt complex by letting her get away with not fulfilling her obligations in the relationship. If they’re to have a relationship at all, she needs to be giving just as much as she’s taking, and Zero needs to be taking just as much as he’s giving. Right now the balance is off, and it’s likely contributing to Yuuki’s guilt spiral. 

That all being said, I do expect Zero to eventually stand up for himself again, and I think we’ll see that happen before they become official. =) Plus, one thing I try to keep in mind about Zero is that he actually knows more about Yuuki right now than we, the readers, do. Perhaps he understands her better than we do as well. 

Right now all I can do is place my faith in him (and in Ai) that he’ll know what’s best for himself and everyone he loves. He is the light of VK, after all. ;)