#like even just beyond the whole singer songwriter thing

[hmhas-00]

Ch. 9

Hit Me Hard & Soft

A/N- Hi lovelies! I know it’s Wednesday, but yesterday was New Year’s Eve and I was busy throwing ass so I didn’t post. LMAO I will still be posting another chapter tomorrow (Thursday) as regularly scheduled though! 🤍

BPOV

“Billie, you wanna stop anywhere for food? It’s getting late and you barely ate lunch.” My mom walked over to my bunk, where I had been laying for the past 10 hours. I felt like shit all day. Mostly from the hangover of a lifetime that I was experiencing, but also from the things I said last night.

I shook my head, removing one of my AirPods. “Kinda nauseous.” I mumbled as she climbed in with me. I nuzzled my head into her arms.

“Have you heard back from Remy yet?” She asked, looking at my phone with me as I scrolled through tik tok.

“She called back but I didn’t answer.”

“Why not, honey?”

“Because…” I trailed off, not knowing exactly why. “She didn’t say goodbye.”

“Billie… Finneas told me about your fight last night. Don’t you think you were a little hard on her?” She said softly.

“I’m always putting her first, mom.” I locked my phone, setting it to the side. “She’s so unhappy there and she’s prioritizing it as if it were her dream job. I don’t get why she never listens to me.”

“I know that she’d never ask you to set your job aside… and she’d never ask you to leave what you love for her.” She looked at me with those wise eyes. The type that had seen all of the seasons of life, including mine.

“I know. But she’s not doing what she loves. I want her to do what she loves, here, with me.” I sighed.

“What do you think she loves?” She grabbed one of my cold hands and warmed it up in hers.

“I know she loves… film… directing… she loves to write scripts… and journaling.” I began to smile subconsciously. “She’s so creative, it’s like you opened Pandora’s box when she gets her crazy ideas.”

My mom nodded, letting me finish before commenting. “I think you love her so much, that you want her to achieve all of her dreams, just like you did. But do you remember when you danced? And you wanted to be a dancer?”

I nodded.

“And then you broke your growth plate, and you never danced again?”

“Yeah.”

“Look at you now. You’re a singer, songwriter, and you’ve been all over the world with Finneas… and everyone knows who you are. And everyone loves you. And have so many awards, you can’t even process it.”

“I know, but mom-“

“Honey, you love what you do. And you love that you make such a difference in all your fan’s lives. But you had no idea it would be this different back when you were dancing in that little studio.”

I shrugged.

“You didn’t. You couldn’t have imagined. It’s a whole different reality that you’re living, sweetheart. Sometimes you can’t see different perspectives when you’re in your own point of view. It’s so difficult to see beyond your own horizon… But you know what you did know?”

“What.”

“That Remy would be your biggest supporter no matter what. She cheered you on when you danced and she cheers you on to this day.”

“I know.”

“Honey, you gotta talk to her. She probably feels just as bad as you do. You both said things you didn’t mean.” She kissed my forehead.

“I’m mad at her, mom.” I stood my ground.

“Have you thought about the fact that you might just want to stay mad at her so you don’t have to miss her?”

It made sense when she said it out loud. What didn’t make sense is that I did miss her. I’m angry at her and want her here with me all at the same time. No closure, no hug goodbye, no apologies… the way I left was so unsatisfying. I wanted to hold her and tell her I’m sorry, while she probably apologizes even though she didn’t do anything wrong. It was mostly me. But I was mad at her, regardless. Because she wasn’t here, and it was easier to be angry, than be sad.

“I’m gonna get some sleep.” I put my one AirPod back in, grabbing my phone again. She kissed my forehead again and climbed out of my bunk.

“Let me know if you need anything, baby.”

I nodded, turning to face the wall. I drafted up texts to Remy, hovering over the send button, but deleted each one. As much as it hurt to think, I figured she didn’t want to hear from me.

This morning, I woke up at Finneas’ house, where he and Claudia repeated what I said to Remy.

I’m not going to lie, I cried for about an hour before getting on this tour bus when I realized Remy wasn’t coming to see me. I didn’t blame her, but at the same time, I would’ve gone to hug her goodbye no matter what she said to me.

I mean, I only want what’s best for her. All I ever do is look out for her. If she would only listen to me, she’d be so much happier. It’s soul crushing, every time she rejects my advice, my help… It feels like she’s rejecting me. And oh my, how it crushes my soul when she rejects me.

The truth is I’d do anything for her. I’d buy her a house, pay her parents enough each month for them to stop asking her for money, and bring her with me everywhere I go. I’ve asked her a million times to be my videographer, photographer, or anything at all she wants to be on tour. She refuses to accept money from me. She gets mad at me when I buy her expensive gifts, even on Christmas or her birthday. In a way, I loved that about her. I loved that she didn’t take advantage of me, or anyone else. I loved that she was a giver, but I wanted to give her more than she could ever imagine. The fact that she never lets me, hurts, even though it makes me respect her more.

God, I want to call her, tell her I’m sorry, and fly her out to Quebec so I can meet her there. But, I won’t. Because, she clearly doesn’t need my help, or my advice, or…. me. She said it herself, I’m a shitty friend. If I’m such a shitty friend, why am I the only one with her best interest in mind? I wasn’t trying to control her, or tell her what to do with her life. I was trying to help her reach her goals.

I wish I hadn’t drank so much yesterday. I wish we could’ve just gone to her apartment, spent our last night together in comfy clothes, eating snacks, and watching our show. I wish she had asked me to sleepover, so she could wake me up once or twice from tossing in her sleep, as she usually did around 2am. So I could cover her back up with the sheets she always kicked off, and feel her throw her leg over me, instead of all her satin-cased pillows.

I wish we hadn’t fought. I wish I would’ve kept it to myself. I wish I hadn’t said most of the things I said, in the way I said them. I felt nauseous thinking about how she might be feeling right now.

My thumbs lead me to her contact, hovering over the call button. But I stopped myself each time, feeling rejection and pain once again. Eventually, my eyes gave up the fight between them and my brain, sending me into a restless sleep.

♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡

About 12 days later, we performed in Newark, New Jersey.

“Dude, you were incredible out there! You don’t even need us!” Finneas hugged me backstage, properly greeting me. He came out to surprise me, and the rest of the audience, for a few songs in the setlist. I was ecstatic.

“I missed you so much, brudder! Thank you for coming.” I squeezed him, swaying side to side. I couldn’t contain my excitement.

“Are you kidding? I had to. I miss touring with you, this sucks.” He laughed. “How’ve you been?”

I let go and took a sip of my water. He sat on one of the seats, giving me his full attention.

“I’ve been okay.” I say, knowing whenever I have any free time at all, I spend it sulking and overthinking about what could’ve been. Touring is my favorite thing in the world, yet when my mind isn’t occupied by planning or rehearsals, it goes back to the same night.

“Let me rephrase. Have you been able to talk to Remy at all?” He shifted in his seat, crossing one leg over the other.

“No. I, uhh… I haven’t.” I shook my head, sitting next to him.

“Billie, it’s been like two weeks…”

“I know, I know. It’s just been so busy, and I’ve been struggling to even find the words- I just don’t have the time. I feel like it’s one thing after the other these days. I’m tired all the time, and when I have a couple days between concerts I just fall into this weird headspace.”

“Are you doing okay?”

“No. I’m not. I’m so happy when I perform. And then when it’s over it’s like I come down from this extreme high and it feels so anticlimactic.”

“That’s because you have no one to share it with.”

“That’s not true! I call you, and mom and dad all the time to-“

“Not the same thing. You know what I mean.” He tilted his head.

“Can we not talk about her please? I missed you I want to hang out.”

He nodded, “Yeah. Let’s go get some food.” He stood up and put an arm around me as we walked out.

At the restaurant, we ate and caught up. He showed me videos from his tour, and I did the same. I miss having him on tour, but no one could be more proud of him than I am.

Inevitably, the topic of Remy came back up, as I slid through my camera roll and came across a picture of us.

“Billie… we gotta talk about this.”

I slumped back into the booth, grabbing a French fry and munching on it.

“I don’t think you remember everything about that night, bro.” He propped his elbows up on the table and rested his chin on his hands.

“I know, I was an asshole, and I need to apologize-“

“Well, no. There’s more to it.” He squinted. I furrowed my brows, listening attentively.”

“I didn’t want you to feel like- I thought you remembered but I’m questioning now if you even do…” he rambled. I didn’t really know what he was talking about. The last part of that night was such a blur. It was my first and only black out I’ll ever have.

“What is it?” I shook my leg impatiently. I wonder if this was the reason she hadn’t texted me at all since I left.

Finneas looked at me like he didn’t know what to say. He struggled to find the words, making me more nervous by the second.

“Finneas… What did I do?” I asked him, my heart beating fast.

[likethexan]

I still can’t get over how Kaos portrays Orpheus writing a song about Eurydice and naming it after her as a bad thing. It’s not like they’re just dating, they’re husband and wife, wouldn’t Eurydice know that marrying a musician would mean… them getting inspired by you and writing songs for you?

Then we get the nothingburger that is Eurydice x Caeneus.

The removal of Eurydice's artistry is sad. Because if they wrote Eurydice as an artist (which she was, in the myths, she was a dancer, but you could even make her a fellow singer-songwriter like in the Hades Game, with all the nuances that come with that) the whole "I dedicate whole songs for you" becomes such a non-issue.

If you want to break Orpheus and Eurydice, find another way than making them live in two separate worlds. Yes, many musicians fall in love with non-artists, but most of them either appreciate the dedication privately or are ecstatic to receive it. Just how on Earth did they make the couple who loved each other so much even Hades had to listen so bland is. Beyond Me.

(Oh and, fuck that. O&E are soulmates. Caeneus deserved a better storyline.)

[storkmuffin]

Oh wait I DO have a question although it’s not about ateez. But I saw that you also mentioned stray kids, so in the same vein as your thoughts about hongjoong/seongwha, what are your thoughts on Han/lee know? That’s another pair that some people I know are absolutely certain is Real.

I think Minsung are incompetent at doing this form of fanservice. There's a stuttery, not-sure-what-to-do-next quality to Lee Know and Han's interactions a lot of the time, which I think is intentional, but it's not to my taste. And then other times they unpredictably veer off into way-too-handsy, way-too-intimate territory that ultimately make it uncertain whether it's performance, forced, or cautious attempts at actually coming out. Whatever it is, it's not good fanservice in terms of trying to give the female audience a good time. If you're going to do BL fanservice, then put your goddamn pussy into it, you know? And if you don't want to, then be like I.N. and loudly object, or be like Hyunjin and make it clear that it's a joke and a roleplay. What the Western fandom seems to take as proof of 'authenticity' looks to my Korean eyes like these two are just bad at this part of being Idols and that their company can't get its shit together about what exactly they want to present.

I assume that every single thing we ever see about any Idol from any official channel is planned, edited, knowingly performed and goes through a structured approval process by corporate stakeholders prior to release. There are no 'off' moments or 'guard down' moments and there are no moments of rebellion vis a vis the company overlords.The Korean entertainment backwaters are littered with discarded Idols; none of them would ever dare. If there's a does-a-sus-thing-and-then-looks-beyond-camera-to-staff moment, I never think it's about They Forgot There Was a Camera!! What has happened is they were told to work in a moment like that in their semi-scripted reality show and wanted to know if it passed.

As a result, I find both the possibility that Lee Know and Han are actually dating AND the possibility that they're doing the gay-for-pay role-playing that's being demanded of 4th Gen onwards while actually being straight equally suffocating and upsetting to consider.

Take for example Han and Lee Know performing "Want So Bad" on their own talk show. If you want to posit that these are two gay boys, in a relationship, it's fucking depressing for me as a Korean woman to be like, they can't ever come out, they have to pretend this isn't real, and this is the musical gender-flip equivalent of lesbian porn made purely for straight men, so why am I even here? I don't find gay men titillating just for existing, but the whole BL genre is built on that premise and it's very profitable. If you posit that they're just friends and coworkers, being singer and songwriter, it's equally depressing that they have to pretend to be gay for money, for the appeasement of the most deranged and unhinged parts of the fanbase.

Lee Know constantly has these 'break mask' moments in performance that make me wonder if this is a neurodivergence issue or a discipline issue OR if he's trying to 'tell' the audience something, and he does this throughout the Want So Bad live performance. He bursts into laughter, can't control facial expressions, stares at Han too much then not at all. And what I thought was, WTF is this? @_@??

I would much rather see Wooyoung of Ateez rub his behind on Yunho's front as Yunho looks honestly miserable and then dance up to Yunho's bestie Mingi to stroke his face and sashay around him while Mingi, in completely contrast to Yunho, gets really into it and laughs. THIS IS FUN. This is actual fanservice for the girls. Does that make sense?

Lee Know is my Stray Kids bias, probably, for his dancing and that magical face, but I get nothing out of the ships they put him in - Minsung, or the one with Seungmin, or the butt groping he does with Changbin or Hyunjin.

[droughtofapathy]

"Welcome to the Theatre": Diary of a Broadway Baby

Kill the Whale

April 14, 2024 | Joe's Pub | Evening | Concept Album Release | Song Cycle | 1H 40M

Long ramble, so buckle in:

I did not like Kill the Whale. Let's start this off being very clear on that. I went in knowing nothing, and I was fully prepared to love it. I love Amber Gray, I love Grace McLean, I love weird avante garde art. This was... I did not like what was presented to me. As a song cycle, a series of solo character introductory songs that don't do much to serve the plot is certainly a choice. The performers are all vocal powerhouses, that's undeniable. And with genres like rap, hip-hop, and lots of rock & roll, I understand why every song was screltched to the high heavens. But it was borderline painful to listen to as the night wore on, partially owing to the inconsistent sound mixing and inappropriate acoustics of Joe's Pub, but mostly it's the writing. The seven(?)-person band overpowered the vocalists on any lines not belted, and the belting pitched out more than once. Would it kill some of the singers to hold the microphone a little further back when going for it? And why do contemporary songwriters all want their performers to blow out their vocal chords every night? Everyone was full throttle the whole time, and it left little room for growth or breath.

The song cycle does remarkably little to evoke more than just head-bopping beats, as if the story inspiration is only really a mood setter and not integral to any plot or story trying to be told. There are almost no duets or indeed, characters singing with each other at all. The final Chase sequence (three parts) is really just like ten parts of individual solos with different genres and beats. There's little to really tie these songs together beyond a vague association with Moby Dick. The lyrics too are more about feelings and moods than about crafting a story. Should this ever become a piece of musical theatre, I don't think it would work as presented. It was also a 100-minute show and they had to cut songs for time, so that's...long. More than half is just one character intro song after another, and they're not so much as "I Want" or "I Am" songs, so much as "here's what I'm thinking about, you don't know me, or care yet, but here I am just ruminating about life," and that's tiresome after the sixth one in a row.

Also, one character is heavily influenced by rap and hip-hop and uses a lot of AAVE in his songs. The writer is a white man. I...wonder who or what he might have worked with to craft these numbers. I also wonder why this writer wanted to write a character whose songs speak so deeply about contemporary Black struggle and oppression. Because while the body emulating this on stage is Black, the words are from a white creator who is only ever imagining what that experience is.

That being said, I'm a lesbian, and Grace McLean (though even she screlted too much for me in the end) being hot and sexy and aggressive was great. Didn't save the night, but great nonetheless.

Verdict: A Long Slog to Curtains

A Note on Ratings

Had the show only been an hour-long sampling of songs, I'd have been more positive. But this was too long to listen to the same thing time after time. As an album where I can control whether or not I want my eardrums to hurt (I was at the back of Joe's Pub, so I can't imagine how the people up front fared), maybe I'd like it more? It's not my taste, at the end of the day, and I'm sure there are many people who love it. Pass.

[marinasdiamand]

Marina Found a ‘Magical New Form of Expression’ Through Poetry. Now She’s Releasing a Book

"Poetry has actually made me feel free," she says of Eat the World. "Because it's writing about things that, if I'm quite honest, I would rather people not know"

Marina Diamandis was on shrooms a few years ago, writing what she thought were lyrics for new music. A few days later, she looked at everything she had written and realized she wanted to go beyond just songs.

“I tried, and it just felt so weird,” she tells Rolling Stone. “I suddenly was like, ‘I think these are poems, actually.’ As soon as I accepted that, I started writing poetry every single day. For a whole summer, it was every single morning.”

What came out of those writing sessions was Eat the World, Marina’s debut poetry book, which Rolling Stone can exclusively announce will drop Oct. 29 via Penguin Random House.

The book intertwines Diamandis’ musings with gorgeous artwork as the singer explores her experiences with dating, reflects on some dark moments in her life, and examines her early career and her “Marina and the Diamonds” days with compassion.

Diamandis says the poetry captures a side of her that’s much more vulnerable and less processed. “There’s stuff that still feels slightly embarrassing to me, but it’s because I am exposing a genuine part of myself that maybe isn’t as glam and glitzy as I would like to portray,” Diamandis admits. “But I think that’s a healthy thing. That’s freedom to me: being able to show up as yourself and being OK with it.”

From her home in Los Angeles, Diamandis spoke about several of her Eat the World‘s poems and gave Rolling Stone an update about her upcoming music:

You’ve been talking about the poetry book for two years now. In October 2022, you tweeted, “I’ve been writing a poetry book this last year. It’s spicy, and brutal, and funny, and sad, and kind of like my lyrics, but way more savage.”

Oh my God. Is it that long ago? It is going to be exactly that. Books just take time to write, especially, with poetry. There is a parallel to an album in that you are encapsulating one chapter of your life, and this definitely felt like that. Sometimes, you can’t decide when it’s done until it feels instinctively like it’s finished. It’s been done for about six months

How are songwriting and poetry writing different for you?

I’ve discovered this magical new form of expression where I can still story-tell like I do with my songs, but I’m able to be way more honest and open about things that is just not possible with songwriting. I love the element of fantasy still with pop and with concepts, and sometimes, you have to forego a little bit of the objectivity of a situation for that. So with poetry, it’s completely different. It’s like I’m able to play with and process the past in a completely different format. It’s like there’s no rules.

What have you learned about yourself through the process?

I really learned about the parts of myself that I wasn’t comfortable with at all. I think, on the subject of relationships, they’re amazing because they are mirrors for us. Even being out of relationship, if something ends or if you’re doing random dating, all of those things just show us different parts of ourselves. The book has allowed me the space to be able to explore thing I wasn’t happy about myself in a way that I just don’t think I could have with music.

“Sex Robot” was very relatable, and touches on your experience dating in your 30s. What’s that been like?

I can’t be totally honest, because we’re doing an interview! I think we all struggle with that no matter what age because I think we are living in a very confusing time. The way that we function on social media has distorted the way that we perceive our lives and other people’s lives. I’m very much focused on how my life feels as opposed to how it looks. I’m just feeling very happy and content in myself now.

One poem, “Proof of Time” seems to be an encapsulation of what you think Los Angeles is: a plastic kingdom, perhaps. What inspired that one?

I’m obsessed with L.A., but sometimes I cannot get over this feeling that nothing is old. It feels so strange coming from Europe, particularly Greece and Wales, where everything is old as fuck. That poem is about longing for something deeper rooted to give me that sense of belonging. I was trying to fuse this feeling of this very modern culture, like lip fillers and butt lifts and plastic keychains on Hollywood Boulevard with this sense of history that comes the earth here: the nature, the canyons, the history of the Tongva tribe that lived here for 7,000 years before they all got wiped out.

What does the “Eat the World” poem reflect about the rest of the book?

It was one of the first poems I wrote. I wanted to encapsulate this feeling I’d had throughout my teens and my twenties that drove a lot of my work at the time. It’s like this insatiable need to be loved, essentially, and no matter what you achieve, there’s nothing that can really fill it permanently. I don’t feel like it’s tapping into negative things. I think it was just a reflection on how things were, and I wrote that when I got out of my record deal with Atlantic. It was a real end of an era where I could look at how I had been. I don’t think I really am looking for validation in the same way at all. I think now, it’s just like, is it fun? Is it going to contribute something positive in the world? Otherwise, why am I doing it?

It seems like you’re going through a transitional time in your life.

Definitely. I don’t even know what’s coming with music. All I know is that I feel different, and I also don’t feel in a mad rush. I feel like this next record’s going to be important, and I think the poetry book is also reflective of that. I’m able to take a left turn and do something that was genuinely just for the joy of doing it. I’m in a separate part of my memory bank. That’s how it feels.

You seem more free. Are you?

Yes. I am. Thanks for noticing.

What’s that like?

Oh my God. It’s amazing. Wait. Let me ask you. Do you feel free?

I don’t think so. I feel so stuck on this idea of where I want to be. I feel so chained to the idea of what I want in the future that I don’t feel like I’m free right now.

That’s so interesting. You’ve sparked something in my head, because when we go through these feelings, we think that we’re the only ones that could possibly be feeling that specific thing. For myself, it’s just related to how I grew up and feeling scared actually to be who I want to be. I think the last few years, I’ve really broken through that. I would always walk around the world thinking that everyone is free except for me, which is so ludicrous. I think a lot of us in creative professions are doing it because it makes us feel free in some way. It’s like a portal to freedom. Poetry has made me feel free, because it’s writing about things that, if I’m quite honest, I would rather people not know.

How has your relationship with the Electra Heart, Family Jewels era changed?

I feel so much more compassion for that version of myself. It feels very far away. It is hard to even watch interviews from that time, because I’m like, “Who is she?” Whenever I hear those records, I love them. I love my past, and it also always helps to listen to them right before I’m doing a new record. Because I want to know where I’ve come from, and what I’d like to bring in, what energy I want to bring in. I think this time, it’s an opportunity to do something really different.

You mentioned you’re working on new music. What’s the update on that?

I’ve been writing for six months. It’s still at the beginning. I haven’t started producing anything yet. Part of me is desperate to get things out, but also, part of me is just saying, “Enjoy this process.” Because this is my favorite thing: to build the record and build the world around it. I don’t have any timeline yet, but sooner rather than later. I know it’s been a while, but I’ve had things going on.

by Rolling Stone (April 2024)

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Jordan Martins

Jordan Martins is a musician, organizer, educator, and visual artist whose works have been shown in Chicago and Brazil. While he has played steel guitar and other instruments for years with the singer / songwriter Angela James, his first solo album, Fogery Nagles, was released by the Astral Spirits label in the fall of 2023. In his review for Dusted, Bill Meyer wrote, “Fogery Nagles arrives, seemingly out of nowhere, but just at the right time.”

Sarah Davachi — Cantus Figures Laurus

I’m a sucker for long-form droney music in general and as of late I’ve been bathing in organ music of this kind as much as possible. I had really enjoyed Davachi’s other works but fell fully under her spell with this box set of works from the last few years with over four hours of heavy tones unfolding in various ways. I like to listen to this as loud as possible to feel these sounds as vibrations. There are several shorter tracks that focus on a particular palette or tonality, with the later tracks being from live recordings of longer performances. Even though the set is a compilation joining these sets of works together after the fact, I love this body of work as a sequence of experiences.

Caetano Veloso — Araça Azul

It’s hard to pick a favorite Veloso record, but if I had to it would be the utterly unique Araça Azul, recorded in 1972 when he returned to Brazil after being exiled by the military dictatorship years prior. The record is markedly outside of the original zeitgeist of the Tropicalia movement — less ecstatic, hopeful, collaborative, and postmodern in the mixing of styles — but at the same it’s maybe the purest expression of the experimental range of sounds and poetry that the movement ushered in. There are other musicians playing on some tracks, but the whole thing feels like a single creative brain tinkering with ideas and sounds until they take enough shape to be a “song.” There’s a fundamental collage approach that I love — where he engages in field recordings, musique concrète, dissonant orchestrations overlapping on simple folk melodies, and transformative and ballsy covers of classics by singers like Monsueto and Milton Nascimento.

Angelika Niescier, Savannah Harris, Tomeka Reid — Beyond Dragons

I had the good fortune of seeing this trio play at Elastic in Chicago this past spring. When they finished their set, my wife leaned over to me and said “THAT WAS HOT SHIT” which is maybe the most accurate thing to say about these players and this music. Niescier’s compositions are somehow tight and specific while simultaneously giving each player ample room to flex and explore with abundant space around the components of each piece. I love their ability to charge into a piece full steam with an almost aggressive sense of urgency and then allow their interactions to gradually fragment and dissolve into textural interplays and quiet call-and-response improvisations.

Paul Franklin— solos on “Together Again”

A friend hipped me to a video of Paul Franklin soloing over the Buck Owens classic “Together Again” and I’ve since gone down YouTube rabbit holes watching as many clips as I can find (and I see other people in the comments on the same journey). Franklin is a Nashville legend who has played pedal steel on hundreds of recordings since the seventies. As a member of the Time Jumpers, he plays as a sideman to Vince Gill at local venues in Nashville covering classic country songs, often playing this tune which originally featured Tom Brumley playing a quick steel solo that used some very innovative voicings at the time. Franklin’s playing is so technically brilliant, but it also illustrates the ways in which the instrument can be psychedelic and disorienting, even in a conventional setting. His solos always follow a basic architecture but there’s subtle variations, improvisations and flourishes in every version where you can see him trying to find new ways of cracking it open. My favorite clips are the ones where he goes out on a limb and the audience is noticeably giggling as they experience the sonic floor drop out from under them like they’re on a carnival ride.

Nicholas Britell— “Unto Stone We are One”, funeral “March Song of Ferrix,” season 1 finale of Andor

I sometimes dabble in the questionable array of new Star Wars projects and absolutely loved Andor���s vision of a bureaucratic fascist space empire, not spending a second on jedis and lightsabers, instead examining the interrelationships of imperial occupations, military contractors, and resistance movements. The last episode is masterful in part because the tension of the entire season simmers to a boil during a funeral procession with working class miners playing junky space orchestral instruments. The score of this funeral march by Nicholas Britell is a haunting, yearning motif that steadily builds but the stroke of genius is how perfectly out of tune the instruments are! Such a simple and surprising choice does such heavy lifting in terms of adding a sense of materiality to the setting and imbuing the dramatic build up with a subtle unease beneath the gorgeous arrangements.

Terry Riley— Music for The Gift

A very early work by Riley experimenting with tape loops, with an approach that is uncannily prescient in the way it does a live remix of a jazz quartet as they improvise around tunes. The fact that this particular quartet was Chet Baker’s (with trombonist Luis Fuentes, drummer George Solano, and bassist Luigi Trussardi) is a surprising interlocutor in all of this: it would maybe seem more fitting to for this to involve an unorthodox voice rather than a more straight ahead, idiomatic jazz player for these out-of-the-box experiments. But I think the music works precisely because of the nimble-swinging of the group as Riley cuts up and repeats their melodies and phrasing back onto them in a slurry of loops that piles up and interacts with their improvising in unexpected ways. The clarity and charm of Baker’s playing is a perfect fit. Peter Margasak wrote a great piece about it for Sound American that you can find here.

Macie Stewart and Lia Kohl— Recipe for a Boiled Egg

Two of my favorite improvisers in Chicago. They are so emblematic of what I love about the creative scene here in the ways that they endlessly collaborate across a range of genres and scenes, whether improvising or composing, playing songs or deconstructing forms. This is a biased pick because they recorded this at Comfort Station, the small and idiosyncratic multidisciplinary art space I run in Chicago. The thing that first drew me to Comfort Station was the building’s unique vibrant acoustics and the porousness of sound that you get with an old building directly facing a busy street. Macie and Lia lean into that context in stunning ways on this recording, narrowing in on their voices and their bowed instruments reverberating and inviting in sounds from the outside world instead of recording in the controlled environment of a studio. You can hear ideas take shape as each listens, responds, builds, grows, dissolves into the other’s playing, with a recording quality that grounds them to a particular time and place.

Olivier Messiaen — “Louange à l’Éternité de Jésus,” from the Quartet for the End of Time

This is probably the single most impactful and cosmic piece of music I’ve ever encountered. Messiaen wrote all the movements for the Quartet for the End of Time while he was in a Nazi POW camp, and the entire work is on another level. But the sixth movement — just piano and cello — brings me to my knees every time I hear it. The first time I heard it was somewhat random and personal: during my freshman year of college, my mom was coincidentally the staff accompanist at the conservatory of the university I attended. And I would often borrow her car to run errands while she was rehearsing with music majors preparing their senior recitals. On one such occasion I was tip-toeing back into her studio to return her keys and heard a bass player (bass majors often adapt cello pieces for their senior recital) bowing the opening notes of the melody which seems to ask for a dissonant response from the piano. Instead, I heard my mom play the slow, pulsing major triad chord that entered in response, settling the piece into a hypnotic journey. I felt like the floor gave way in an instant and I had never experienced anything like it. Susan Alcorn has adapted it for solo pedal steel in a really unique way melding the harmony and melody together, and Atomic included it on their 2018 release of covers, Pet Variations, playing with deep restraint that the piece calls for while also letting the energy bubble up restlessly.

Jeanne Lee — Conspiracy

It’s hard to find a better expression of vocals and poetry integrated into a free jazz setting than this brilliant 1975 record, with Jeanne Lee leading a killer ensemble including Steve McCall and Sam Rivers among others. I had never heard Lee’s work before coming across this album when it was re-released by Moved-by-Sound in 2021 and I was struck by how much sparseness there is (somewhat similar to some of Caetano Veloso’s delicate moments on Araça Azul even), and how simple utterances give way to grooves and freakouts with the rest of the players wrapping around Lee’s command of the sonic space. If I’m being honest, I think these kinds of approaches to free form improvisations can often collapse into a kind of cheesiness or ham-fistedness, and this record NEVER once gets close to that, everything feels so purposeful even when the exploration is at its outer limits.

Olaibi — Mimihawasu

Although I had heard her playing on works by Japanese band OOIOO, this is a musician/project that I hadn’t heard of by name until someone I follow on Instagram posted that they had passed away this October (coincidentally on my birthday). Something in the way they eulogized her touched me deeply and I listened to all of her records in the days after (and often since). Maybe it is because my exposure to her music was immediately tied to her recent death, but there’s something so profound, tragic, beautiful, frail, intimate and loving about her music all at once. I wish I had heard her more before her passing, but I’m grateful that in the wake of her death this world of sounds has entered my life.

[thesinglesjukebox]

ZACH BRYAN FT. KACEY MUSGRAVES - "I REMEMBER EVERYTHING"

An old Jukebox fave meets a new country darling we apparently also kinda like...

[6.57]

Nortey Dowuona: There are 3 white men I trust. Zach Bryan is one of them. Mainly because he doesn't attempt to append holier than thou posturing for internet brownie point, beg for bigots approval to make his crashing career successful or fuck around making bad Jeremih songs to appear ahead of the curve. He just writes honest, sincere songs about being a deeply flawed man who is consistently putting himself out there to be loved and to love back, despite the consequences or the punishment of pain, shame, loneliness, failure. Kacey thrives in the midst of these moments and within the turmoil, making a home for herself alongside him, despite it coming apart at the seams due to the aforementioned flaws. And as they sing the final chorus together, you feel the strained, flickering love that is leaning and diminishing, only one breath away from being extinguished. [8]

Jonathan Bradley: Imagine Zach Bryan two decades ago: this ex-military ne'er-do-well recording lo-fi country ballads on his lonesome out in Oklahoma would have been signed to Lost Highway and then lost in the thickets of Paste write-ups. Now he's number one on Billboard. Times change, but so do the hooks, and Bryan has landed on a good one, the way he and Kacey Musgraves wail "you only smile like that when you're drinking," lovelorn and desolate together. Bryan is a folk singer of negative space; he illuminates his glowing little melodies while the song surrounding him lives in that vast blackness stretching into the great plains beyond. [9]

Alfred Soto: Zach Bryan writes about blasted, blighted lives, and his workaday conviction elevates the occasionally staid material. Rotgut whiskey and Kacey Musgraves can't ease his mind. So he dwells in the shadow of memory. [6]

Michael Hong: Bryan's gruffness sounds great on his plain arrangements, but the thinness of Musgraves' voice on her solo take of the chorus makes the whole track feel stiff. The real gem off his self-titled album is with Sierra Ferrell, the plainness making their harmonies and its melodic simplicity shine. [4]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: I'll be honest: the first several times I only listened to this for Kacey Musgraves. The more I hear "I Remember Everything," however, the more I see how Kacey's diaphanous, hazy delivery only works because of how Bryan acts as a brusk, grounded foil. He seems like a perfectly pleasant, reclusive, well-therapized man, one who has earned the moment in the sun he's experienced this year. [7]

Ian Mathers: It is kind of wild to think that this guy is considered the same basic genre (and has hits on the same charts) as that Morgan Wallen fuck; chunks of this are not that far away from, say, Damien Jurado. I'm sure it's not Bryan's only mode (he put out a fucking triple album, for god's sake), but it works here. [7]

Thomas Inskeep: The music on the verses (especially the first) almost sounds like it's being played at the wrong speed? And what's with Bryan's mush-mouthed singing voice? Not to mention that this doesn't sounds like the duet it should be, just two singer's verses spliced together. I'd love to like this, but not much about it works for me. [4]

Leah Isobel: "I Remember Everything" is approximately two steps away from Pity Sex; even its flashes of humor bend toward flowery emo sentiment ("You're like concrete feet in the summer heat/ It burns like hell when two soles meet"). It's fertile ground, but the weepy arrangement and Zach's whimpery, crackling vocal oversell it a bit. [6]

Katherine St Asaph: Three things elevate "I Remember Everything" from the staid "see, this is real country music" ballads that it's not far off from. Zach Bryan's songwriting is carefully observed, and his muted voice suggests a low emotional ceiling -- making it extra powerful when he rips through it. And in turn Kacey Musgraves' voice, while still youthful and winning, is maturing nicely into a less tremulous Emmylou or Dolly. [8]

Hannah Jocelyn: There's this slightly late guitar strum at 1:34 (and again at 3:03) that's annoyed me all year, and I have to point it out because nobody else has. Otherwise, this is an above-average Civil Wars song with some pretty 7/4 verses, marred by a rushed production job -- the arrangement aims for gravitas, but you need lush Daniel Lanois or Gary Pacsoza production for that, not first-take-best-take performances. Yet if it's Zach Bryan or Noah Kahan, I'm taking Bryan every time. [6]

John S. Quinn-Puerta: Between this and Noah Kahan's ascendancy I'm convinced that folk and country will make it 2013 again through science or magic. If it means more duets, I'll take it! [8]

Tara Hillegeist: Soulful melancholy over gentle strumming meant to put the emphasis on the observed detail, the folksy reminiscences, of the singer's well-waxed lyricism is as much a posture as the cocksure drunkard's swagger, where country's concerned; it all comes down to whether you can back the pose up with a sincere enough delivery to match. Good thing Bryan has a voice like an old train engine run hard off homemade distillations, instead of something studio-smooth and syrupy-slick; it sells the vibe almost as well as the images his lyrics conjure up can manage, all by themselves. Musgraves' lighter touch doesn't shift the tenor of the piece so much as add another tone to the portrait being sonically painted; the flecks of sunlight and gold, coming in through the glass bottle you can all but hear, sitting not far from Bryan's hand. Indeed, she's the one to shed a little needed light on one of those ironic details that can give the rest of a song the kind of wry, bittersweet bite it needs to go down feelingly. For all that the song is a story told by Bryan's narrator, it's Musgraves' girl that's remembered early, lyrically, as the better tale-spinner of the two. So, naturally, when it's her turn on the verse, it comes out that the one time Bryan's narrator went so far as to imagine up a future between the two of them, she already knew he couldn't really mean it. A less controlled song would've found a moment to resolve that tension before it ended; "I Remember Everything" simply lingers in the revelation, and the melancholy, and the might've-beens, till the sun comes up and the unwise urge to do more than live with it passes. [8]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: He's just some guy, which is the point. And this is stately, well-struck, and a little bit boring -- "Dawns" did it better, and not just because Maggie Rogers is a much better fit within the Zach Bryan sonic universe -- but I still find it charming even through all of the tedious talk of authenticity and roots rock stardom. Much like everything he's done, "I Remember Everything" is self-conscious of Zach Bryan's place in the world -- the lyric is all lived-in small town signifiers, less a narrative or even a "Don't You Want Me" style point-counterpoint and more a slice of life, but everything else aims for grandeur. Kacey Musgraves is perhaps the crux of "I Remember Everything" -- unlike the rest of the guests (The Lumineers and a bunch of guys that sound like The Lumineers) on Zach Bryan by Zach Bryan, she's (a) made interesting music herself and (b) grappled with that same lyrical/musical divide in her own work. And yet the slight distance in her performance is what ultimately consigns the song to being an interesting curio rather than a barn-burner: the two sketch slightly different frames on the same moment, Musgraves remembering but Bryan desperately asking to be remembered. [6]

Brad Shoup: Maybe it's the sand or the "grown men don't cry" bit, but this feels like Bryan's Lana Del Rey homage: I'm kinda surprised the violins weren't boosted about 25%, or that the drummer didn't try something more martial. As soon as I realized we were getting a boy-girl duet about slugging down whiskey, I thought about Paisley/Krauss. But Bryan's not interested in that kind of operatic tragedy. He's more glum than maudlin, fiddling with the memory of a truck like the screwcap on some Kentucky Gentleman. Musgraves is the voice of reason, or maybe just exasperation; she can't caress the melody alongside Bryan because that would be commiseration. [5]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[thisaintascenereviews]

Tori Kelly - Tori It's been around four years since pop singer Tori Kelly put out a "regular" album. She put out a Christmas record a few years ago, but she's been largely inactive, most likely due to a lot of life events and things of that nature. She came back with lead single to her new EP / album Tori, entitled "Missin' U," and I really enjoyed that song when I heard it a couple of months ago. I've been a fan of hers for years, and I remember picking up her first album in 2015, but I haven't listened to her since. I haven't been too into a lot of pop music, which I've talked about in other reviews recently, but thanks to being a huge fan of the Barbie soundtrack, I've wanted to dive into some pop music, and as it just so happened, she finally dropped this record. I wanted to talk about it, because there's a bit you can discuss with this record. I wouldn't say this is one of my favorite albums of the year, but if you want a damn good pop record that has a lot of nostalgic influence, you can't go wrong with this one. "Missin' U," going back to the lead single, is a very much early 00s influenced song that reminds me a lot of what you'd hear from early 00s pop singers, but in a very good way. The hook is very sticky, and it's insanely catchy, plus Kelly's vocals are utterly killer and the lyrics are pretty solid, even including a fun nod to a Sidekick phone. There's an R&B edit of the song that appears at the end of the record, and I have to admit that the R&B version of the song is way better, only because Kelly's voice is well suited for that sound, so it feels like a better fit. The song itself is fine, but it's more of a straightforward pop song, whereas the R&B version feels like a more complete and layered song. The rest of the album, though, falls more in line with the original vision of "Missin' U," as it's more pop-focused, but it's a solid record. This thing is only 20 minutes long, so it's a very quick listen, but a lot of it works pretty well. "Cut" is a really catchy number, along with "Alive If I Die," and "closer" (if you don't count the R&B edit of "Missin' U") "Young Gun" with producer and songwriter Jon Bellion is an interesting ballad about a breakup told from both perspectives. I wouldn't say that there's anything on here that goes above and beyond for me, with the exception of her voice. Kelly's voice is the best part of this, and while I enjoy the record as a whole, the sound of it does get a bit repetitive, although a few interesting choices and sounds show up here and there, and the lyrics aren't necessarily anything to write home about. The sentiments are good, though, and there's nothing boring, bland, or outright bad here. For 20 minutes, it's a good length, and if you're a pop music fan that hasn't listened to her music in a very long time, I'd listen to this. It's almost a soft reboot for Tori Kelly, because this is more Y2K-influenced pop with some R&B undertones, but it's good stuff, regardless. I've played it a solid amount since its release this past Friday, even if there's not quite a lot to sink my teeth into, at least enough to spend more than a week or so with it.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary499

2/8-9/25

saturday - sunday

ate jollibee today

they have really excellent french fries, to me, crispy and crunchy. i think it's best when they're starchy. i seem to be talking about french fries somewhat often here lately.

beyond the fries, today we got to see jim e brown!!! he was insane, in a very good way, and really nice.

here are selfies from tonight before i get more into seeing him:

we got there really early, before the show, or not as early as the other day w/ the goreshit show, they said doors opened at 7 and we got there at like 7:20 but actually the show started at 8, so we waited a while, some people we knew showed up but we aren't so close with them so conversation was, well, i think for my gf it was fine she's good at talking about her daily goings on, she has a lot going on, i was mostly quiet but i'm very awkward and it felt weird to me, to talk, i'm so bad at talking with people i'm unfamiliar with, which comes up a bit later but it's not really ever a big deal. but before we went in we were standing around in the cold, as my gf finished her coconut slush thing from jollibee and i ate more french fries, we saw this place the other day but i didn't get a picture:

we live in a terribly stupid world. when we were in the adjacent cafe thursday, we saw these screens slowly fading in and out with different ape nfts and things. it was so hideous. i don't understand it, or if this person thinks it will bring them wealth.

anyhow, the time with our acquaintances was basically nice, i spent it mostly in silence, they talked a lot about stuff that's going on in their lives, the one we know better talked about their school issues and how academic advisors would fuck them over a lot, grade threshold things, people not telling them stuff, depressing to hear about, that the school kind of destroyed some of their dreams with mismanagement. they sort of kept us past the starting time but it was just an opener, who was fine, maybe that's mean to say or feel, but they were cute, it was like a bedroom pop thing i guess. acoustic guitar and casio keyboard drums. it was fine. it was rather cold on the roof, we were by a space heater, but it was rather useless the whole night honestly. after that opener, andy burns came on, i rather liked this one, though live, w/ electric guitar, it was more exciting, though here as it's recorded for the album, the songwriting of it has more space to flower, it's much more beautiful than i noticed live:

i also liked this one lyrically:

musically, too, actually. during his set, he covered suicide, their song surrender, and he covered julee cruise for david lynch, her song rockin' back inside my heart. hearing him as he's recorded here, it's really in the vein of those songs more than it sounded live, live it felt a bit more 80s pastiche in a loud synthpop way, big and gleaming, and good, here though, it's understated almost and it really makes his stage performance better, i saw this video my gf recorded of him doing surrender, and her camera couldn't focus, so he was this big strike of light moving through the frame, just this apparition gesticulating, moving to the music, violent and ghostly, it felt like this video a bit. uncanny and weird. seeing him in full resolution, you know, with my eyes, what an odd way to say it, full resolution... i'm stupid, anyhow, seeing him there the effect wasn't lost, but it was carried through in different ways, he'd roll his eyes back as he sang, he danced in a stilted and possessed way, every muscle in his body seizing and throwing him around, it was really oddly violent and joyful. i was rather moved by him, and if you told me a guy would be there to do this kind of music, i'd not at all expect to be moved by it. i guess on some level this is the power of covers, to help situate what it is you are doing, but even before that, his songs were good, he was charming as a performer and singer. i guess beyond charm, though, it felt like he was getting at something there, a weird nugget of culture, seeing vegas behind him felt perfect and strange, he sort of has this thing a few australian musicians have, this odd affinity for americana, i guess that's a lot of the world but they have a particular way about it, where, like foetus or the birthday party, there's a negativity towards it too, a critique as much as a smile directed at it, so in a way he was this expression of how nightmarish this city is, and his weird movements the body of a caged figure almost, trying to love things from the past for some reason along his interior, at odds with the fact of what they've become outside himself, if that makes sense. loving elvis songs, but having to come to terms with what he means to this city, the destruction and folding of all things into advertising, shiny easy images, he's a weird aching, he is every point between that thing's birth and the its eventual wrapping up into the world as it is, or as it has to be, spectacle and so on, or the fact that it is born with that in mind and still there is a passion and wish within it to be outside of it. so i suppose, expecting to only really like one performance tonight, i have been gifted another of really exciting stuff. i wish i captured it, but i didn't have ability, but him, with the city behind him, the lights, even if it's just the little places downtown, the city's old buildings dying, new ones arriving, all clean and dustless, and the starless night. it was special, i think. his voice, is a big part i suppose, his weird guttural and untrained feeling lounge-y singing style, and leaning into weird subjects for songs, stuff kind of about things that are low seeming, ghost discus is about the man who invented the frisbee and how he was cremated into one, and he imagines his family playing with the thing to grieve him, it's this feeling of a limb reaching out from a closet, not a haunting or evil limb, but because it's unknown, it's scary, and all it wants is to experience something friendly.

there is something really strange, and i know it's obvious, but it is worth repeating, that sometimes seeing someone do their music, live it out, and the context created by their body and way they play off their surroundings, that creates something super special, but i bring this up because i always think, well what could i even do, you know, i'm so unskilled at that part.

here is a video of him live, i think here he's also got something great going on, a strange skinny man in a weird dark place. there's one song he introduced at our show as being about the cuck chair, it's, i think, the second one here. it's very good also:

strangely i just feel like gushing about him more. i don't know. it's insane that some guys just live where they live, write songs and love them so much to carry them to term in such a way, it moves me a lot. i guess this is what is so special about singer songwriter-y people. at times he reminded me of a friend of mine, this is a bit of a theme too, tonight. me being awkward, and thinking of my friends in these people who were rather new to me. and that made it a lot more moving i suppose. andy came near us, after his set, to stand by the space heater and he tried to turn it a little higher, and seemed bewildered at a point, because it was acting strange, and i laughed, i hope he knows i just thought the whole situation was a little funny and that i wasn't laughing at him. i found it hard to find any words that would express that, in a way that wasn't awkward and strange. there was another time, two english guys came up, and one was like, we're going to get very close to you, because we want to be near the heater, i hope that's alright, it's very cold. and then reflexively he said, that's what i do, tell people what they're experiencing while they're in the middle of it, and know what's going on, ha ha. and i laughed too, i hope that didn't make him feel bad. similarly then, i felt like i had no words to express that i was laughing because i found him funny and liked him basically, not like how those people at the goreshit show seemed to like me, just like, friendly.

after him, there was a little break, then this jam band that i really have no kind words for. but it's fine, cuz after that was jim e brown, who we came for, oh, also, i drank matcha in the cafe, idk why i feel like i have to make that a point, but i do.

excuse the poor quality photos of jim, but it sort of expresses his cryptid-ness i think:

i will say, during the opener, he was like the first person we saw on the roof, just standing by his merch, he looked right at us, and i think i made a face, and he kind of made a face and looked away. not a bad face, in either case, but a face, that was like, processing something. i was just surprised. i know he's not a big deal really but he's like, funny and really good at being funny. but i kept seeing him move around, well, really, i was looking, maybe that's creepy. but i kept looking at him and the thing about him is he reminds me so much of my friend, who i went to go record with. oh! he sent me the song we did today, also, and it sounds a lot better than i expected it would, that's so nice feeling. that aside, he reminded me so much of him, moving around, how he hit his vape, how he approached people, nodded his head, talked, everything about his demeanor, it's like they were brothers. that made me feel a lot, it's really funny for one, but idk, it made me feel this insane feeling, he is a stranger, but him being like someone i've known since highschool, someone who i have seen these mannerisms in, and develop in too, it was this strange familiarity. my gf saw it too, it was really interesting. seeing him perform, he's a real talent i think, he writes such fun songs and plays such a fun character. a little over halfway through his set our good friend turned up, and she really loved him too, she has bpd and he performed his song about bpd, for 20 seconds, ending it shortly with 'i forgot the rest of the words,' he'd always introduce himself at the start and end of every song, he'd do all kinds of strange things, he'd ask, should i keep playing or should i fuck off, he'd say, thanks for the tepid applause, he had a fun back and forth with the audience, he'd pass around pictures of things like chicken fillets in grass at a park.

i'm really happy he played this one:

also one thing i really loved about seeing him play, is he's so sloppy on the guitar, but it works, in a punk rock way but also idk, it's heartening i suppose, i guess it makes him seem more fucked up but i just like it. i like the idea of not being perfect. maybe that's just because i'm not so good and it makes me feel better about that. oh! another thing i loved, he did this poem:

it was kind of relatable, because of the roaches. they do have a scent, it's a miserable thing. but it feels good to see a guy express that insanity. my gf loved when he talked about the mummy mouse's fluids. she said that's like the kind of thing i say. i love that his bit is also that he claims he is 19. what's really special i think, is how nice he was, after the show and before it, with all the people, he talked a while with my gf even, he talked with me a bit too, he asked why i was so shy, i said hi after the show also and said i found you on the forum gearsluts someone claiming to be your uncle said he was trying to help you, and he was like, oh, wow, and you came here because of that, and i was like, yeah, from years ago. then he leaned in and then looked over to his left and saw people at his merch table and was like, sorry, there's people who want merch, and i was like, yeah that's cool. and then my gf got to talking to him, she and our friend were talking about how our friend works at the only good bookstore in the city basically and how my gf is an english teacher, and he was like, is vegas a literary city, as a joke, cuz it's kind of shite, but i think he likes that it's a bit shite. they talked about some other stuff too, they bought a book of his, each, and he was probably telling them, you should buy them all, or he was telling them which to buy, but then they waved me over and said i'm like his biggest fan in vegas, and that's when he asked why i'm so shy, all i could say was, i'm just like that, and he was like, i won't hurt you, and i said, you do seem harmless, and he was like, well i could say things, but never physically, and i found that funny and then i was like, also quiet cuz i had no idea what to say. in general i don't have any idea what to ever say to artists, cuz it's like, beyond thanking them for the music and performance, i dunno. but he was like, are we doing a picture, and we took a picture, i look bad in it so i won't post it... but i have a photo with the legend jim e brown. i also think my gf was like, talking about plans after the show with our friend in front of him, about a tiki bar we go to, to sit in (how alien am i,, i felt the need to say that, i'm like a freak), and when we were going to leave (we were skipping the last show), he was like, what bar are you going to, and he like confirmed the place although he seemed confused and my gf gave really horrible directions, but maybe after we left the bar he did turn up, which would make me so deeply sad. but there was the lingering sense he might turn up, while we were in the bar, which was very fun. i wonder if he wanted to talk with us about books. our friend says he was into my gf, a bit, which is sort of cute because i don't imagine he knew we were a thing really, or if he did maybe he imagined we're sort of a not monogamous thing. it's hard to be mad at him for finding her pretty, if he did. though really i'm unsure if he did, our friend might see that too much, maybe i just don't want to imagine jim in that way, my gf does agree he seemed interested, there's just something about the fact he's got the whole character thing going on, but also he's rather nice and genuine with people before/after the show, and he's like my friend, it's like he's just sort of strange, maybe he did just like that my gf and our friend were genuinely interested in books and wanted to get drunk and talk about that or something. who knows, ultimately i am clueless, but he wasn't ever creepy, if he was i think my gf would have said something, it's also not like they were ever very alone, i sort of watched all the people around the merch table including them while sitting by the heater (my legs were very cold the whole night i needed whatever warmth i could get i guess). i dunno. it just felt silly and nice, the whole way through, he is a silly and nice man, is my estimation of him. i said to him, it's insane you're in vegas and he said, yeah it is insane, it's very weird, but it happened.

our friend said, she at first couldn't tell it was a bit ironic, but we agreed it's not entirely ironic i think, there's a level of him probably being pretty unhappy, and this music being a way to make that weight laughable, turning himself into a kind of carnival act... so he is evoking the carnivalesque in the kristeva way...

on the way to the bar, we saw this:

strange attempt at political art. i guess i appreciate the effort. the flag said 'this is how you fuck a fascist system,' and i'm not so sure. i guess it's angry and that might be enough, or something. i mean no, it is basically bad art, but it's funny that the dildo machine was really fucking it the whole time.

the bar, like i said, we were wondering if he would or would not turn up. he did not, but that's okay, seeing him live at all is like crazy enough. the time in the bar was fun, we haven't been able to see this friend for a while, she's doing okay mostly but her favorite person seems to be difficult right now, and that makes her want to get a different job and stuff. that is stressful to hear, for her sake, or... not stressful just sad. i know how it feels when a person you really like and want to be around a lot is just like, get away from me, even though you're just trying to hang out with them. not even in a clingy way just talk to them and they're like, they're people who need space to the point of it being mean feeling because they feel uneasy with things being too easy or something, idk. it's unpleasant.

this concludes this very crazy little stretch of time where i am seeing crazy shows that i never thought would come to vegas... goreshit and jim e brown... wow, whoa. my life will go back to normal after this i think and i'll be more of a homebody, but it's really nice to go out, i really love seeing my friends and these strange musicians.

i am tired now, though, long day, i didn't do very much w/r/t finishing anything... tomorrow i hopefully will do more,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hummingbee-lievable]

Song of the Day #23:

'Sparrow' by Big Thief (released 2022).

Mama the scream of the eagle

Threading my heart through the needle

Threading the blood through the apple

Eve sucked the juice from the apple

Nakedly running I saw her

Boy chasing after to stall her

I wish I'd have spoken to call her

Before she found fabric to shawl her

Breasts bound and burdened with fiber

Adam came trembling beside her

And he said, he said

"She has the poison inside her

She talks to snakes and they guide her"

Track #6 on 'Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You'.

Fun fact: Adrienne Lenker (singer/songwriter) created this album name as a mantra for herself and her bandmates, to remind them of the beauty of things in their lives. Indeed, often her songs tend to focus on something small and simple; they remind us of where magic really is.

'"The first song on the record, 'Change' has that has that line, 'Would you live forever never die while everything around passes?'. The last song on the record 'Blue Lightning' is 'I want to live forever till I die'. And then 'Spud Infinity': 'when I say infinity, I mean now'.'*

Personal blurb: Okay, I've surprised myself today because really this song:

This is the one that, upon first hearing it, reached me exactly the way I needed it to. Not sure why I chose 'Sparrow', but maybe it's what I needed. I'll be honest: I'm not religious. I have personal issues that prevent me from seeing the concept as anything other than a cult at an institutional level (but I have no issue with it on a personal level, when friends are believers, it's just the administration as a whole and how it operates). So the concept of Adam and Eve isn't reeeaaaallyyy something I buy into. (There's also the whole not-trusting-in-the-concept-of-a-diety thing, but that's another novella. And I believe enough in Something, for me.) But I love the visceral imagery of these lyrics, and the concept that by eating the apple, she has the poison inside her. That we all do, now.

Really makes you think about the conceptual influence of religion and the imposition of that onto gender norms today, and the treatment of people born with female anatomy as a result of this story. Anyway. I don't need to go into all of that. You have plenty of angry relatives to have that conversation with; this is a safe space to just be you, no matter what you believe in.

The whole album is lovely, although it took me a while to love it. (You know how some songs are just like that? It's only on the 5th listen that you really start to get into it.) My tops from the album are: 'Change', 'Time Escaping', of course 'Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You' (which I've apparently typed enough times that my phone recognises what's happening as soon as I type 'Dragon'), 'Sparrow' and 'Dried Roses'. I honestly think this album isn't done with me yet, though.

I love the lines 'I believe in you/ even if you need to/ recoil'. Especially lately, I have not wanted to be touched. I recoil from it, quite literally. I used to be a very affectionate person and there is a part of me that craves it, but I just can't. Every time I'm touched my whole body just shuts down. But the person I'm with has been so understanding of it. And it's nice to know that beyond the frustration and guilt and shame and everything else that I'm still believed in, even when I need to recoil.

I love both the song and the album cover for the same reason: they're reminiscent of the magic I don't feel capable of recognising anymore.

When I was a kid, I think it was less magic that I was surrounded by and more possibility: that I might walk through a gap in the trees and enter a faerie ring, that if I was quiet enough and alone enough, forest people would find me and take me in and I would become one with the first. I fell in love infinitely and desperately in a nightly basis because I couldn't sleep unless I could pretend that I was falling asleep in someone's arms that really cared, and wanted to hold me as much as I wanted to be held.

That was magic, wasn't it? The limitless possibilities. Now, it seems that those possibilities are confined by logic and the weight that tends to settle on those that live long enough and hard enough. This song feels like a little tingle of magic in our everyday world. And the lyrics are sprinkled with reminders of the things we see daily and are lucky enough to enjoy. Neil Gaiman said, upon being asked if he believed in magic:

'I can write down a few words and make people thousands of miles away, whom I have never met and will never meet, laugh tears of joy and cry tears of true sorrow for people who do not exist and have never existed and never will exist. If that isn't actual literal magic I don't know what is.'

The concept of things being 'limitless' makes me think of this song by Dodie, called 'In The Middle'. You don't have to listen to the whole song to enjoy the monologue at the end, and the monologue at the end is so good that I may just copy/paste it here:

'Have you tried the cake? It's good. Maybe you're thinking: 'I've already eaten' or 'I want to dance later and don't want to feel bloated'. Maybe you're thinking: 'I'm on a diet'. But then, how many times will you be offered a piece of cake as delicious as this?Perhaps, two or three times a year, if you're lucky. Over the course of your life, maybe two hundred times. And how many times will you refuse? How many times will you go skinny dipping in the moonlight? Maybe seven, if you're lucky. How many times will you lie on your back in the grass and watch the stars? How many times will you let yourself be completely overwhelmed by the great inconceivable expanse of the universe. There are only so many chances to take. And of course, you don't know when it will end. So it all feels... limitless.'

We're surrounded by magic. We just have to look for it. What magic have you seen today?

Oh look! Squirrel! Hehe. For you, Guacker-Snacker. (Oh my gosh, because you eat guacamole, this is so accurate hehe. Your nickname just reached new levels.)

*Reference:

[withhertea]

Pop singer-songwriter Maisie Peters gained initial popularity on YouTube before releasing two original EPs and going on tour all over the US. She signed to Gingerbread Man Records, the record label headed up by none other than pop icon Ed Sheeran, and just released her first debut album, You Signed Up For This, last month.

We sat down with Maisie Peters just before the album release to talk about You Signed Up For This, her work on Trying, one of the latest Apple TV+ binge-worthy shows and of course, her viral TikToks.

Beyond The Stage: What has it been like working with Ed Sheeran now that you’re on his label?

Maisie Peters: It’s been amazing. [Sheeran] is obviously ridiculously talented, and he’s also the most generous, down-to-earth person in every way. Besides being generous, he is so courteous and amazing. I’m a one-woman Ed Sheeran promotional team right now [laughs]. He’s just amazing, and it’s really amazing and inspiring to watch and learn from him. Working with him has been really so easy. He’s really supportive and wants me to make the music that I want to make.

BTS: When you wrote the soundtrack for season two of Trying on Apple TV+ did you have full reign on the music, or did Apple have inputs in the music, such as the collaborations?

MP: That was a really cool process, one of my favorite things that I have done, actually. I worked really closely with the director, Jim O’Hanlon, and Catherine Grimes, who was the BBC music commissioner. It was myself and Joe Rubel, the producer with whom I made the soundtrack. We had a couple of long Zoom meetings with [O’Hanlon] before we started, and we talked through the themes and the general story and the universe it was in since it was season two.

Then I read all the scripts, and I made notes, and I was very methodical with it. But when it came to writing the music, we just went away, and I think we spent about two weeks doing four or five songs and we just sent them to Apple. Luckily for us, they really liked them. I think it was “Helicopters,” “Mail House,” “Funeral” and they loved what we did.

I had to change a couple of timing things like there was a song called “Office Christmas Party” that just became “The Party” because we wrote it around Christmas time so I was obviously in the festive spirit. We realized that we couldn’t have something called “Office Christmas Party” in a TV show that was set in autumn. It was really easy and definitely a different experience. Apple was wonderful to work for. They really trusted me and my vision. I think it all worked out really well.

BTS: Did you feel like the songs you wrote for Trying were still your music, or did it feel more like you were doing something for a show?

Maisie Peters: No. It’s interesting, even though a lot of it was in a different character’s shoes and the show is not really my life, the show was still set in London and it was about these young people figuring out how they wanted to live their lives. I actually was writing my album at the same time, and a lot of these songs, even though they’re written for something else, there’s so much of me in them. They feel super-close to me. I think it’s music I could make in my sleep, almost.

I’ll always make songs like that. It was really fulfilling and magical to get to write like a whole album basically that was twisty, smart, folk-pop songs. And it’s funny, they’re all love songs really in some way, shape or form, which is hilarious for me, the girl who never writes love songs but I think it’s interesting. They’re all love songs, but there is also nuance to them and it really looks like love through a lot of different eyes and not a stereotypical bunch of love songs.

BTS: Did you have to set aside time to specifically write for Trying and then specifically write for your album?

MP: I think it only happened once where I wrote a song and thought it could work for either. I wrote a song called “Trying,” not actually linked to the show, but that song we started for the Trying soundtrack. It ended up not really working, we only did the first verse and chorus, and we were like, ‘That doesn’t really work for Trying, but it could work for me,’ and then it ended up being on my album.

The soundtrack was done in such a concentrated time like we literally did those first four songs in like a week or less, and it was [Rubel] and me being like, ‘We have a deadline,’ and we wanted to get these done by Christmas, and it was October. So we just got the writing done very quickly. With recording and producing, though, there were definitely some crazy days where I would be in [Rubel]’s studio until 1 am every day, and I would go on the weekends for a few months.

We had a joke with my manager because he actually had to ban me from going to the studio because I would just go all the time. He was like, ‘Maisie, you need to stop. Stop going to the studio.’ I’m the only artist ever to be told not to go [laughs].

We’d be working on a song from my album and then a soundtrack song and then a song from my album, and then we had to check mixes for songs from my album, but then the soundtrack, and it was all very chaotic.

BTS: How did you start making your TikToks what they are today? You’re sharing music and carving a space out for yourself there.

Maisie Peters: I think the same as everyone. It was the lockdown, and everyone was like, ‘What do I do?’ I actually think TikTok is the best social media app. It’s so funny, and I got really into it. I’ve discovered so much new music from TikTok and so many artists that I think are incredible, especially songwriters. It’s such a perfect platform for songwriters, and I’m someone who really likes sharing my music in quite a casual way, and TikTok is the perfect place to do that.

I just put all these little snippets up and these little jokey things, and it’s become a fun little thing. And now it’s super important as well because everyone is being told to do it. I really feel like songwriting has had a comeback with TikTok, and I’m constantly blown away. Every day I stumble across someone singing on my For You Page, and I’m like, that is insane, that’s an amazing song.

BTS: Do you think that hearing all the songwriters on TikTok and elsewhere has changed how you’ve been writing at all because you hear so many different voices?

MP: I think it’s just really inspiring. It’s wonderful how many talented people there are out there and how many people are writing amazing music all the time and most of the time, they’re just teenagers in their bedrooms, and I just think that’s so cool.

BTS: How did you decide what collaborations you wanted to do and who you wanted to do them with? Do you write songs before or after you decide who to collaborate with?

Maisie Peters: On my album, there aren’t any features, but there are collaborations with James Bay, Bear’s Den and Griff on the [Trying] soundtrack, and all of those songs were different.

With Griff, we’d written the song, but I knew I wanted her voice to be on it with me, and it reminded me of Folklore. We’d just done that cover together, so I sent it over to her and explained what the TV show was about and what the song was about, and I said, ‘Feel free to write, produce, whatever you want.’ She ended up writing this amazing verse and did all these vocals that sounded so good and sent it back to me.

But also, I wrote with JP Saxe, we did ‘Maybe Don’t’ together, and that was done very collaboratively. We met in the studio right before lockdown, and within five hours, we had written this song. It was very collaborative and came out of us just sharing our experiences and lives at the time, joining forces.

BTS: How is it getting back to doing live shows? Are you thinking of touring for this album?

Maisie Peters: Yes, I’m excited. The festival was amazing. It was really fulfilling and inspiring. I am definitely going to tour for this album. I’ve announced some record store dates, which will be really fun. I’m really excited to play these songs live, and I’m hoping next year, for sure, I can do some touring.

BTS: Was it weird to get ready to go back on stage after this long? A festival seems like a big way to jump back in.

MP: It was kind of crazy. There was definitely some worry that I had forgotten how to do it, which is, I think, a very valid worry because I hadn’t been on stage for like a year and a half. But I actually think the time away made me much better, and I was never really a natural performer, but doing those shows at the festivals really made me realize the sort of performer I want to be. I think I’m getting closer to the performer that I’ve always wanted to be.

It’s really cool. It’s coming from just growing up and gaining confidence and writing songs and knowing how to make songs work live, and I have a really amazing band as well. It was kind of daunting to go on stage. I wasn’t sure I knew how to do it, but I sort of stumbled back into it.

BTS: How do you feel about this new album? How does it compare to previous EPs and singles?

MP: I’m really excited for this album to come out. Once it comes out, it’ll be weird because it’s all I worked on for arguably all my life but at least like a year. I think it has the same heart as my EPs.

There are veins and rivers that run through all of them that help carry each one to the next. ‘Dressed Too Nice for a Jacket’ led to ‘It’s Your Bed Babe’ and then to this album; I like to think they’re all stepping stones. They’re like the little baby siblings of this album. I think [the album release] will be weird, but I think it’ll be good. I’m really proud of it. I can’t wait for everyone to hear it.

[sinceileftyoublog]

Winnetka Music Festival: 6/16-6/17

Alejandro Escovedo

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Unlike summer street festivals in other “affluent” Chicago suburbs--Alejandro Escovedo’s words, not mine--the Winnetka Music Festival chooses established and up-and-coming independent, original artists in favor of the usual rotation of the same five cover acts. 

The Wallflowers

Friday night, the headliner was a band that unexpectedly signed with New West two years ago: none other than The Wallflowers, the long-running project of singer-songwriter Jakob Dylan. Yes, they played the major songs from beloved major label sophomore record Bringing Down the Horse: the eternal “One Headlight”, the Adam Duritz-featuring “6th Avenue Heartache”, the “Sweet Jane”-riffed “Three Marlenas”, blasted jam “The Difference”, and Southern rocker “God Don’t Make Lonely Girls”. Though the aforementioned Counting Crow was nowhere to be found, the rest of the band brought down the horse house. Ben Peeler’s shimmery steel guitars shined alongside the churchy keys of the band’s biggest hits. If Dylan’s voice was raspy and understated, the instrumentation delivered the emotional punches, especially on songs from their latest Exit Wounds like “Roots and Wings”, where Dylan reflects on where he came from and what’s allowed him to move beyond. And the encore contained two covers of songs by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers; considering Dylan’s father played in a band with the late, great Petty, it (perhaps unfairly) feels like The Wallflowers covering Petty is more appropriate than a version from any other Americana band. They were certainly crowd pleasers. After a speech about the paradox of “rules are meant to be broken,” Dylan proclaimed one mantra he’s learned to follow: “If you got a good thing, keep it going.” I can’t think of a better phrase to sum up everything about The Wallflowers, from that one set to their entire career.

The Dip

Proceeding The Wallflowers on the same stage was another singalong-friendly band, Seattle R&B/funk septet The Dip. Yes, they were masters of style and tempo. Jacob Lundgren’s prickly guitars propelled the existential “Crickets”. Mark Hunter’s bass and Jarred Katz’ drums buoyed the strut of “She Gave Me The Keys”. The fluttery horn section--trumpeter Brendan Carter, tenor saxophonist Levi Gillis, and baritone saxophonist Evan Smith--were given ample space to solo and meander through the extended jams of “She Gave Me The Keys” and “Sure Don’t Miss You”. Throughout, Tom Eddy’s soulful lead vocals and charismatic banter and context helped make a decidedly retro band sound fresh and contemporary.

Escovedo

If there was an outlier in not just the bands I saw but the whole festival, it was Alejandro Escovedo. He admitted it, noticing that unlike The Wallflowers and that night’s main headliner, Michael Franti & Spearhead, “We don’t get you movin’ and dancing.” The band took their time to sort through some sound issues and eased into their set, beginning with the languid “Wave” and echoing “Sometimes”, respective showcases for synthesizer/keyboard player Scott Danbom and drummer Mark Henne. Eventually, Escovedo and company became energized, laying down power pop burner “Break This Time” and Escovedo’s two most popular tunes, Chuck Prophet co-write (and dedicated to the hurting Jesse Malin) “Always a Friend” and “Castanets”. But it was the tunes in between that stood out. Escovedo introduced “Dearhead on the Wall” as “a song about taxidermy and Buddhism”; as he’s aged, the way his voice trembles on his more contemplative tunes is almost gothic in character, effective even if not purposeful. He muffled his vocals on “Sally Was a Cop” and “Teenage Luggage”; non-fans, town locals, and passersby likely didn’t expect to hear the words, “America's a blood-stain in a honky-tonk kill” emanating from the stage as if through a megaphone. Then again, with a discography like Escovedo’s, nobody knew what to expect, and he delivered a masterfully taut collection of his finest songwriting, leaving the band the opportunity to straight up choogle.

So, yes, the Winnetka Music Festival, which is presented in collaboration with SPACE in Evanston, is not your average Chicago suburban street festival, and certainly not one I would have expected even 10 years ago, let alone growing up on the North Shore of Chicago.

[the-gc-record-club-blog]

SOME NIGHTS I DREAM OF DOORS (OBONGJAYAR)

Selected by Calvvy

OBELLA’S TAKE

Favorite Song: Sugar

Spit Yo' Game / Talk Yo' Shit: To me this album is a love letter to the next-gen African diaspora (be that ex-pat first-gen, 1.5, second-gen, or beyond). There were these beautiful flairs of driving in the car with the Old Man listening to Hugh Masekala, and Ladysmith... Miriam Makeba, and Awilo Logomba... This is also how I know that music genres are obsolete; It's labeled as R&B/Soul which isn't wrong but there were also these amazing alternative, and folk, and house(?) vibes mixed in. The blend and the energy of the sounds were so sonically stimulating I couldn't put it down from the first song on the first listen. I've since dug through a bit of his discography and that Neo-diasporic sound-blend is this man's MO and tbh it's giving - he shouldn't let up!

Lit-mus Test: 🔥🔥🔥🔥

VANESSA’S TAKE

Favorite Song: Try

Spit Yo' Game / Talk Yo' Shit: It's a treat, maybe even a rare one, when your introduction to an artist is a project so thorough that you can't pick out a favourite song. In this case I think that's because in addition being to being an incredible singer and lyricist, Obongjayar comes across as many different artists rolled into one on Some Nights I Dream of Doors - but all of them are effective and they don't crowd each other out. I love how he seamlessly shifts between genres, intensity and even accents across the record. There are chords on the album that remind me of the Congolese lingala/rhumba albums that my dad used to play when I was a kid, while other songs make me think of Lagbaja and other contemporary Nigerian artists. So many songs tug at a familiarity for me that I really, really enjoy. It's pop, it's electro, it's Afrobeat to name just a few shades and he has the right to do all of it; I want to sing along, to dance, then I'm in my feelings, then it's over! In a tight 35 minutes? Love to see it and I love this album.

Lit-mus Test: 🔥🔥🔥🔥

OCHIENG’S TAKE

Favorite Song: Tinko Tinko (Don’t Play Me for a Fool)

Spit Yo' Game / Talk Yo' Shit:  I don’t think its a particularly novel thing to say that I love different, more creative artistic endeavors. But this felt like an honest blend of all Obongjayar’s different influences that melded together into a genuinely unique body of work. An artist is only as good as his reference, and I feel like the well Obongjayar is drawing from has puzzle pieces that fit together in a strange but natural way. The uniqueness combined with his experience (this being his second full length project on streaming not counting EPs) led to the creation very solid project with a lot of replay value.

Lit-mus Test:  🔥🔥🔥

CALVIN’S TAKE

Favorite Song: Tinko Tinko (Don’t Play Me for a Fool)

Spit Yo' Game / Talk Yo' Shit: I'd heard so many Obongjayar features that it was a treat to finally dig into a dolo project. On Some Nights, Obong (can I call him that?) has so many musical references that he successfully gets on record -- while many times it also feels like a very confessional and cathartic album. Heartbreak, triumph, mantras, nostalgia, and flossing are all there, making for a very unique and replayable mix. As deep as his bag is, the moments where it truly reaches the astral plane for me are when all these influences combine rather than sit next to one another. There's the hook to "Sugar", but then the whole of "Tinko Tinko" which is my favourite. The duality of threatening "don't play me for a fool" but ultimately breaking down to a "please don't play with my head, don't keep fucking with my head" refrain a few seconds later -- real songwriting!!! With doom doom doom drums and Michael Jackson gasps for the razzle dazzle. If those same lines were sung into Burna Boy's mic, I could see it breaking a festival ground in half; I have high apple pie in the sky hopes and well wishes that that same reality lies in Obonjayar's future.

Lit-mus Test: 🔥🔥🔥

[knightofleo]

OH HECK ya, I had kind of forgotten about Fuck Buttons and now I'm relistening to the discography due to your recent post. Pray tell, if you have the time, can you suggest any other artists acts with that lovely kind of "wall of distortion" aesthetic. Always looking for more music suggestions... Either way, thanks, love your posts.

OK, so Fuck Buttons had a pretty specific sound so I don’t know if I can find you the exact same thing but some approximate vibes, some close cousins, third-fourth removed etc etc. yeah, sure, we can try.

Probably says itself but just in case, if you haven’t tried Blanck Mass's albums, i.e. literally one half of Fuck Buttons, go there first. World Eater especially pretty much just continued where they left off. 

The other half tried to do some singer-songwriter stuff I’m not sure he had quite the range for, I think he said somewhere that he pretty much knew as much himself before he’d even started making anything so what the general idea was, we don’t even know. Anyway.

Less of a cohesive drone and a bit more tangible and percussive but it does nail the same kind of relentless build-up they had. See also Lorenzo Senni’s Scacco Matto for a similar sound taken just a few notches further out.

SNES Final Fantasy boss theme vibes. Anyway, moving on.

A bit brighter and cleaner in sound but the whole (excellent) album got the same "Rocketing towards Mount Olympus (In Space)" energy down pat. (Off topic but the guy also happens to look like Troye Sivan on a protein diet, which kinda took me out)

A bit more of an urban dubstep vibe but do try Dark0′s Zero2 album too. Took me forever to clock he nipped the background vocals from Ariana Grande.

A bit darker, a bit spacier, a bit more of a minor key attitude but we do get the dirty bass and the pounding drone march. See also Clark’s self-titled for a similar if more eclectic (i.e. less unceasingly bleak) trip.

And I can’t get the Bandcamp link to embed properly for the life of me but do also try Nathan Fake's Blizzards, which is fantastic and tragically ended up getting a bit slept on. (The linked track isn't the best example of a Fuck Buttons vibe, to be honest, the previous track Pentiamonds is much closer but that one just slaps too hard, ff.)

Probably my favourite album of the lot, and one of my favourite albums, period. Tragically M.I.A. from streaming at the moment, just vanished one day without notice or explanation, if it's a moral stance or a label issue, we just don't know, but it’s very much worth tracking down.. And if you want to check that sound taken even further into something resembling just plain flat out violence.

Try this maniac.

Reeling it back a bit, this ones a bit softer and gentler but otherwise actually pretty close to their earlier stuff in both structure and mood. Just the whole torrential layered wall of sound.

And there's also Vessel's Queen of the Golden Dogs album, which is, I don't know.

All of the above but make it medieval and bug-fuck crazy, I guess.

[mychampagne-mybubbles]

Mick & David

Many are the times that Harry & Louis have made references to these iconic rock stars or have reminded us of them.

I am sure you can recall Harry on stage mimicking Jagger's particular moves back during the 1D days or his 2017 SNL performance, his not-so-secret songwriter pseudonym Mick Greenberg clearly inspired by the leadman or how recently Harry & Louis literary appeared on stage with apparel inspired by the Pierrot & Harlequin duo so linked to Bowie's work; also, Louis waiting till January 8th to wish this fandom a happy new year, on David's 75th birthday & release date.

One of the main parallelisms we tend to fall into, is the personal relationship that united these two couples beyond music. We have listened to Harry & Louis praising each other many times, such as happened between David & Mick.

Bowie told Rolling Stone: “Jagger is most certainly a mother figure and he’s a mother hen to the whole thing. He’s not a cock-a-doodle-doo; he’s much more like a brothel-keeper or a madame.”

In return, Jagger delivered in a loving-envy tone about David: “I wonder how long he’s going to last, I really shouldn’t talk about Bowie because I know him too well and know his fears and his hauntings.”

From Bowie was admired his chameleonic ability he even tried to sound like Jagger in his "Watch that man" as a result of that infinite adoration for the Rolling Stones and their singer in particular, while Jagger was capable to deliver that one performance "that achieves madness", they really devoted each other.

So, What went on between them?

Mick and David met in the early 70s and the pair hit it off instantly. They both were married over the same decade. Bowie talked about his open bisexual extra-marital love-life, while Jagger was known for allegedly sleeping with more than 4000 women.

The artists did a "Dancing in the street" version and the underlying sexual tension between them plus being seen everywhere together, triggered the rumors about the real nature of their relationship; when this song live performance happened, they even parodied their obsession with one another.

To make the story short, Bowie's ex-wife found them in bed and shared the anecdote in several books & TV shows adding on to other similar models' public statements. The version of the story varies, so the depth behind their naked innuendo in bed was never confirmed Was it a fun momentum thing? Was it playful discovery? Was it indeed involving romantic feelings? but except for the two main involved who denied it, everyone else maintained the episode as fact and have ever assured the marvelous connection they had beyond the stage.

THE INSPIRATION

There's a lot more public & music-wise that probably made our boys look up to them and keep bringing the legends back.

Bowie described himself as a collector. Taking pieces from others that he would build into his own character. Some justify his changing capacity as a sign of mild schizophrenia symptoms severely running in his family DNA.

Free Sexuality icons

In 1960 Mick Jagger became an icon of hetero-masculinity wearing a dress by designer Mr. Fish on stage. Jagger has been known for his flamboyancy on stage also recognized in his aesthetic: flared trousers, jumpsuits, silk & floral shirts and more evolving through the decades' fashion.

The creation of David's Starman let him address certain taboo conversations such as non-gender considerations, becoming a symbol for sexual liberation of the times.

This was at the 70s door, where sexuality itself entered a discovery period, a new way of portraying era and a wider understanding approach.

Bowie always kept it ambiguous: He did come out as gay in 1972, as bisexual in 1976, and finally as a "closet heterosexual" in 1993. Do some of these sound familiar?

Harry Styles: ‘I’m not just sprinkling in sexual ambiguity to be interesting’

Harry said to Vogue once: "You can never be overdressed. There’s no such thing. The people that I looked up to in music—Prince and David Bowie and Elvis and Freddie Mercury and Elton John—they’re such showmen.”

Versatility

Bowie played with many different art representations, he was a composer, singer, performer, actor... precisely because of this I found quite interesting the link to pierrot Harry did last year in that LOT night, an inflection point for his acting path. Also, Mick Jagger has been involved in the film industry on & off in front and behind the cameras.

Music

I find this field really interesting in terms of identifying links between the two generations' artists. Music has been the main ground for the four of them, where they have been able to express themselves deeply and for longer. So it's not surprising to find already several connections.

David had the only constant of not being constant, he was the kind that will surprise his fans and Harry has been compared to him since he dropped his first solo single "Sign of the times". Works like "Life on Mars" with that piano presence and strong end remind experts of the late rockstar.

Harry was for sure marketed back then with a strong influence from the 70s (not just Bowie's, but remember that 2017 Jimmy Fallon's entry at Let's Dance rhythm) so we will never know how much of his original contributions were in its outcome, but there is a constant comeback to that resemblance. From style to even lyrics.

When releasing Treat People With Kindness Harry mentioned how Bowie's interview talking about how the "best work" often comes when you "can't quite touch the bottom" encouraged him to release this song even though he had doubts and made him feel "conflicted".

Intentionally extolled or not, there is a clear link between these artists. Fashion, lyrics, styles, melodies, paths, learnings... from the thousand ways that these "mentors" could have influenced Harry and Louis, it will have touched each one in different aspects.

They admire them as idols, as they have openly confirmed. Despite being at different career moments and defending different styles, I understand how the boys can look towards the future and find in their idols the interesting figures to look up to in the industry.

[hualianff]

Vampire/Human AU

(Slight NSFW, angst)

Thinking about vampire HC who owns a vampire-friendly bar with humans who apply as donors to supply fresh blood for vampires willing to pay the expensive prices. When a human with beautiful amber eyes, soft facial features, and blood that smells absolutely delectable, walks in, every vampire whips their heads towards the door. The human approaches one of the staff, YY, to inquire about becoming a donor. HC watches as the enticing morsel follows YY into a room to finalize his application.

Right after the human leaves thirty minutes later–YY probably having said it would take a few days to find him a match–HC pulls YY aside, demanding to have a look over the papers the new donor filled out. After a quick scan, HC shoves the papers back to YY with a click of his tongue,

“No need to find him a match. He’s mine.”

A human whose blood smells heavenly, who has never been bitten or even nipped by a vampire. HC wants to corrupt him. Ruin him.

The next night, HC has the human, XL, meet him in his personal feeding room. There’s a luxurious velvet couch to the side, a pristine glass table with fancy wine and glasses, and a king-sized bed with crimson silk laid upon the mattress.

HC, like most vampires, typically feeds while stimulating their donors. This can be done with something as simple as kissing or full-on intercourse. Not only does this relax the human’s nerves so they won’t tense up before being bitten, but the toxins injected into their system after being bitten feels incredibly euphoric, serving as a kind of aphrodisiac. Many humans donate their blood in this way for the sole reason of attaining this heightened sense of pleasure.

But as soon as XL enters the room in front of HC, his mind freezes as he sees the bed.

“I’m a virgin,” he blurts out, wide eyes panicked as he looks at the vampire. HC raises his eyebrow, unperturbed.

“We can work with that.”

XL gulps.

“I’ve also never kissed anyone.”

HC runs a tongue along his sharp fangs.

“Do you want to change that?” The vampire asks, walking up behind the human, pressing his chest against XL’s back. HC hears XL’s heart rate pick up at the proposition. It’s an unspoken yes, though XL also imperceptibly nods his head. He does not see HC’s lips spread into a vicious grin. However, XL does feel lips brush against the shell of his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

“Use your words, precious. Do you want to be kissed? Want to be touched, experience pleasure beyond comprehension?” HC murmurs, skimming his lips across XL’s nape. “I can fuck you too. Push into your little body as I sink my fangs into your neck. I’d place them right here-“ HC taps XL’s jugular, the human jerking to the side with a gasp. “-oh? So sensitive. All the better. I can make you feel so good.”

XL’s breath quickens, ever so slightly leaning back into HC’s tall frame. HC leans forward to catch a glimpse of those doe eyes regarding him with caution. Oh, how he wants to eat this human alive. HC turns XL around by his shoulders. He lowers his head to bump foreheads with XL, forcing the human to look into his red-tinged eyes.

“Is that a yes?”

XL blinks those doe eyes once, then twice.

“Yes.”

HC brings his hand up to brush a hair away from the human’s head.

“Wonderful.”

***

XL is at the point in his life when he lost everything. He chose to pursue a career outside of his parents’ embroidery business despite being expected to take over the shop after college. Abandoning college altogether, XL went off on his own to chase his dream to become a singer.

A few years later, where XL was provinces away from home, XL’s parents’ business had gone under, devastating them as they could no longer pay for their medical bills. Upon hearing the news, XL rushed back home to take care of them. It seemed they had kept their declining health conditions under wraps. They were too prideful to admit their weakening physical states; they also did not want to guilt XL into giving up on his ambitions to take care of them.

XL’s parents lasted one year before passing away, his father first due to prostate cancer, his mother one month later after succumbing to exhaustion and grief. XL lost their home along with the shop merely a week later, unable to pay off the debt. His parents had used up their savings for their medical expenses and XL had been scraping by as a musician for years. Additionally, there was no one he could confide in. He had lost contact with his friends as he moved from city to city, busking on streets, attempting to catch the attention of music labels.

XL was utterly alone. There were days when not even music could bring an ounce of comfort. However, music was the thing that kept him sane between the various side jobs he managed to pick up to keep him off the streets.

As if the fates decided XL had had enough bad luck for a lifetime, a CEO of a fairly well-known label offered him a business card after a busking session. It was JW of Capital Records who gave XL hope of achieving his dream. XL spent most of his late 20s under the label, training and practicing and producing. He had the chance to record a couple of singles and one mini-album–which he didn’t get to participate much in the production side–but other than that, XL didn’t make it far. He was tremendously overworked and yet, still discarded to the side.

Wondering why he wasn’t provided the opportunities other artists received to further their careers, XL scheduled a one-on-one meeting with the CEO to ask what he was lacking. JW had insisted he could give XL more opportunities if XL could offer something more than just his serene vocals and pretty face.

The unspoken suggestion that XL offer up his body pierced his heart with yet another stake. Overwhelming disappointment and betrayal crashed into XL, but perhaps he should have known better that the whole situation was too good to be true. XL vehemently rejected this idea, angering JW who eventually tore XL down to the point of a medical emergency that allowed him to leave the agency without repercussions.

At age thirty-two, XL was left with no family, mental and physical trauma, and a dying will. Ironically enough, the song lyrics he’d written after experiencing so much loss were the closest thing to making music he’d gotten. But in the end, XL still felt like a failure.

Now in Xi’an, XL was left with limited options to earn money for rent. He already worked two part-time jobs in addition to writing music—though even time set aside for this has dwindled.

One night, as XL was walking home after closing up the convenience store, he saw the neon lights of the sign “Ghost City.” He’s heard many things about this club and is no stranger to the existence of nonhuman creatures roaming amongst human society. After hours of research, XL decided to apply to become a blood donor. It’s not like he had a better option that paid more anyway.

XL’s hope to somehow redeem his past actions has all but fizzled out. He doesn’t expect a vampire like HC to care about his comfort or consent when feeding, though HC still prioritizes these things for some reason.

XL has never looked at his body and thought about the best ways to pleasure himself. HC shows him how. HC caresses and kisses XL like he’s worth being handled with care; HC also invades XL’s body as a threat to break it, broadcasting a vampire’s strength, speed, and endurance in the bedroom.

XL can go as far as to say he even looks forward to his time with HC. In between a busy work life and dealing with people who would rather look the other way than give him the time of day, XL’s mind and body steadily weaken.

It starts with memory loss, where XL can’t clearly remember the conversations he’d had the day before. One of the reasons this develops is because he goes through many days without having anyone to tell about his day. It’s like the life XL lives is so insignificant, nothing about it is worth remembering.

Then, it’s the lack of eating. Most of XL’s money goes towards rent, essentials, and groceries. But he’s not a great cook. And he’s already drained by the time he gets home after working both jobs and visiting Ghost City. XL’s stress doesn’t help, adding to the fatigue that gradually shuts his body down.

While HC might not be able to taste a difference in XL’s blood, he does notice how frail the human moves around. How delayed XL responds, more so than he should be–even as a human. XL has scheduled more visits: three times a week this time. However, his words become less. He stops telling the little stories that brought a small smile to his face. XL doesn’t even mention the songs he’s been working on lately.

HC forces himself to ask about them after an especially rough coupling.

“How’s the songwriting going, darling?” HC asks quietly. He props his elbow upon his pillow, resting his cheek on his hand as he intently observes the human struggling to catch his breath, eyelids fluttering.

“I haven’t written anything new,” XL breathily answers. HC purses his lips. He ducks down to affectionately tongue at the skin his fangs pierced.

“No? In how long?” HC asks. XL sighs heavily.

“Maybe three weeks.”

HC doesn’t know what to say to that. He’s not one to console anybody. No one had afforded him that luxury, and naturally, he did not grant anyone else his concern. The silence that follows is unbearable.

***

The next time XL visits, he’s the one to initiate their first kiss. HC growls happily against his human’s lips, pinning him against the closed door of his private room. XL moans obscenely as HC languidly licks into his mouth. His arms desperately wrap around HC’s neck to bring him closer.

“Someone’s eager,” HC says with a chuckle as he pulls back. XL instantly attaches his lips to the vampire’s jaw, peppering light kisses along the pale skin. HC can’t help but think he’s taught his little human well. XL hums while trailing his lips back to HC’s, capturing them in a kiss that’s the sweetest one yet.

HC should’ve noticed how unstable XL’s legs seemed, how dreadful the bags under his eyes looked before indulging in their bedroom activities. He should’ve kept track all along of how thin XL is, how much more skin and bone he had become. HC is certainly not one to intrude on someone else’s life and scrutinize all their choices. But he should’ve said something sooner.

Maybe then, XL’s heart wouldn’t have stuttered so violently, or completely stopped beating for five counts.

HC watches in horror as XL’s eyes roll into the back of his head. His human’s body goes limp in his arms, collapsing into HC’s chest. When XL’s heart beat starts up again, it’s very weak. There’s a noticeable abnormality in its rhythm.

HC quickly gathers XL in his arms and speeds to the bed. He sits back against the pillow, placing XL to recline against his front. HC hooks his arms around XL’s middle from behind, anxiously listening to XL’s irregular heartbeat that seems like it takes all of his human’s energy to pump. Luckily, XL awakens a few minutes later. He registers a cold embrace and warm puffs of breath lingering near his ear.

“Did I pass out?” XL wheezes out, unconsciously melting into the body behind him.

“Yes,” HC says tightly. “Your heartbeat is uneven. Something is wrong.”

XL can’t tell if he’s imagining it but that sounded like worry in the vampire’s tone.

“Oh.”

HC inhales sharply.

“You just fainted, Xie Lian. Hell, your heart just stopped for a few seconds, and all you have to say is ‘oh?’” HC grinds out.

So he is upset. XL swallows thickly, not wanting to escalate things and further upset the vampire.

“It’s okay,” XL says. “I’m okay-“

“No. You’re not,” HC interrupts.

XL takes a deep breath, wincing slightly as HC tightens his arms around his hips. He’s more sensitive than normal, XL realizes. Before XL can defend himself further, HC grasps XL’s chin and turns his head to face the vampire.

“You’re hiding something from me,” he states. He hears XL’s heart speed up. “There’s no use in lying. I can tell you’ve grown weaker since you first came.”

“Well, I have been donating my blood to a certain vampire for a few months now. I’m bound to be a bit weak in my legs,” XL replies as a matter of factly. He means to poke fun at the situation rather than acknowledge the severity of it. HC knows this because he’s done it numerous times himself. But when XL does it, it makes HC’s blood boil.

“Are you saying I am causing this- this deterioration in your health?” HC asks tensely. XL lets out a gasp, whirling around in HC’s arms, immediately backpedaling.

“No! No, not at all.”

HC’s eyes assess his human who trembles slightly in his arms. He cradles XL in between his legs, hands shifting XL further up his body so he can rest his head on HC’s chest. HC gently pets XL’s hair, an action that was uncharacteristic of him months ago, before XL had walked through the entrance of his bar.

XL gently smiles in an attempt to placate the vampire.

HC’s eyes flash a frightening scarlet.

“I don’t believe you.”

XL’s face crumples.

“It’s true! I’ve just been really busy is all. Work has been hectic and- and-“ gone is the innocence that HC once saw in XL’s doe eyes, instead replaced by stress and utter brokenness that alarms the vampire to no end. A voice in the back of HC’s head snarls that those emotions had always been behind XL’s eyes; they were simply better hidden, and HC had been too lust-driven to notice.

XL continues his rambling, frantically shaking his head. “-I took some extra shifts because I needed the money to pay for some water damage that flooded half my apartment. I’m fine—truly.“

If HC had a beating heart, it would have dropped down to his stomach at the sudden realization. His fingers dig into the paper-thin skin of XL’s hips, then trace up the bony knobs of his spine.

“You’re not eating right.”

“Wait- S-san Lang-“

The nickname HC had asked XL to call him is hurdled back into his face like a stone aimed to shatter. It sounds like a cry for help.

“And you’re not getting enough sleep,” HC concludes with a disapproving frown. His eyes now glow a deep crimson, matching the silken sheets that HC ensures are in perfect condition every time XL visits.

“Fuck, XIE LIAN, you know you need proper nutrition and rest to recover from each night you spend with me!” HC is nearly shouting now, voice wavering out of his control. Who knew another creature could make him feel so strongly?

“I-I am!”

“I SAID NOT TO LIE TO ME. I CAN TELL WHEN YOU’RE NOT BEING HONEST,” HC explodes, spatting those words with a poison that he often uses with uncooperative subordinates, but never directed at XL before.

Tears glisten in XL’s eyes as he’s cornered with no way out, no relief from the building pressure that suffocates him. Right now, after everything XL has been through, this seems to be his tipping point. He never expected HC to care this much. Or perhaps HC is just concerned his reliable supply of blood is flaking out on him, just when he’s had a feasible taste.

XL is sure HC has plenty of other donors to feed on. It’s not like XL is particularly special in that way. Frankly speaking, XL had time and time again asked the universe to give him one last sign that his life mattered in some capacity. But if he couldn’t see the value in his own life, who else could?

XL scrambles off from HC’s lap, allowing himself to speak with the deep-seated spite that has grown in his heart like an untamable weed.

“THERE’S NO NEED TO GET SO WORKED UP OVER MY HEALTH!! I’LL BE GONE SOON ANYWAY! THE DOCTOR GAVE ME THREE MORE MONTHS,” XL screams, having to catch his breath after exerting so much power into his voice. “So there. You have my answer. I’m not lying this time. Just one a couple more months and then- then you won’t have to deal with my shit anymore, okay?”

HC can’t move. He can’t speak either. The shock taking over his system renders his mind and body completely useless. He can only stare blankly at XL whose tears now cascade down his cheeks.  

No, this cannot be happening-

XL’s whimpers pull HC out of his head. The human hugs his own frail body, shivering from a coldness that does not exist in the room.

How did HC let it get so bad?

“I’m sick, San Lang. Very, very sick. Not just physically,” XL whispers defeatedly, letting out a small hiccup.

HC doesn’t hesitate to surge forward to throw his arms around XL, hugging him once more. It’s a habit now—to hold XL whenever he could. Now, HC wonders how many more times he would get this chance before it was inevitably the last.

“Xie Lian…”

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I-I just can’t eat. Sometimes from stress, other times I completely forget. And I want to rest, but I end up laying in bed awake for hours a-and my mind just won’t let me sleep-”

For the first time in over a decade, there is someone else to hear XL’s agonized wails.

“Please believe me, San Lang. Please."