#like dude. ok. Thanks nintendo

[speardovich]

i hate the smrpg remake because like. Ok

when i was either. 12 or 13 i had an au. and it was that the main members of the smithy gang (yarid, bow, mack, axems) actually had family and parents outside of the gang. like the ones you fight (not the machine mades dur) weren't made by smithy they were just recruited on. and like i named these family members and they were established ocs and everything. i think how it went was that smithy ended up stealing them from their families and then taking them away Idk it was angsty whatever anyways. when i was 14, i scrapped all the ideas because they were so cringey and grrr i hated them so much. And oh my goodness bro it wasn't canon at all ooobviously they were all made by smithy and have no lives before that what was i on lol?

And then i pretty much forgot about it

So imagine my surprise when the smrpg remake comes out with this

[em-bandaid-boy]

Hiiii thanks for 500 followerrrs!!! Idk why so many of you are here but thaanks 💖

(Seriously tho thank you its pretty cool) anyways I drew more murderous robots lol

[arogustus]

Splatband Analysis - Chirpy Chips

(Disclaimer: This analysis is based on what I get out of looking into the character descriptions we have of the splatband characters. If you disagree with what I say, that is fine, we are all beheld to our opinions. Just don't be a jerk about it.)

Splatband Analysis - Chirpy Chips

It’s the autism and ADHD squad! The chiptune chippers, Marie’s and Nintendo’s favorite band and the only one to survive Nine years together without drama (bar that one time), it’s the Chirpy Chips! Love these dudes.

Now, before we go into this, let’s address the Harmony in the room. Specifically that she has a room, in-game, where she exists in the polygonal flesh to interact with as a shopkeeper. Her autistic swag made her popular enough to be the first Splatband character to show up in the games, which means we actually know her and how she behaves. So, I’m gonna leave her for last and go about her like this: First, I’ll look into what we used to know before Splatoon 3 about her, and then we’ll compare that to her appearance in-game to see if it matches up. See if she was done right by the game. Now let’s meet these chips!

The Band

The Chirpy Chips debuted after Squid Squad all the way back in Splatoon 1, nine years ago (God). Dominating the charts thanks to their chiptune rock style, made with the help of multiple Nintendo machines (Gamers), this band has managed to outlast Squid Squad without disbanding all the way to Splatoon 3!.. Ok, actually that’s not true. According to a Famitsu Interview for Splatoon 2, the Chirpy Chips actually disbanded ever so briefly! No word as to why, but they reformed shortly after and wrote and performed Blitz It during the high of joining back. After that they’ve stuck together ever since, only really going on break because Harmony started working at Hotlantis. 

Don’t site that NoA post for Chirpy Chips Splat 3 that said there was drama by the way. The band was just on break, they are fine and NoA is just trying to stir up fake drama. It’s just like real life!

All of these guys are autistic. Like, that’s not a theory, but a fact. None of their descriptions make them sound neurotypical, that’s for sure. The band just seems to vibe perfectly with each other despite some of their issues, and they all go at their own pace. Turns out the secret to surviving in the music industry all along was to make neurodivergent friends. 

One of their performance tricks that they do is to glow in sync during songs. It’s a super cool visual to imagine, though probably done through artificial means, at least for Orion and Sid. As far as I know, there aren’t any bioluminescent crabs or flapjack octopi. Anemone and squid on the other hand do have glowing members, but it doesn’t confirm if they do it naturally or are using artificial means too. Either way these guys are a colorful bunch. And also none of them know how to dance, emphasizing further that these four are all dorks.

Noiji

Noiji is the hyperactive guitarist of the band, a stark contrast to the significantly less energetic rest of the band. He’s described as uncontrollable and bright, with a sunny disposition and an irresistible urge to run up and down slopes. He sounds overwhelming, and maybe impulsive if that slope running thing can be applied to other actions, but somehow he manages to get along well with the others. What is his secret? Also to keep with the neurodivergenceness, he has a special interest for vending machines. He would have loved them in Side Order, that’s for sure. Honestly I love vending machines too, they’re really cool, but just too expensive for someone of my income level (for now, anyway).

He used to be a part of a punk band called BariBari before he joined the Chirpy Chips.Surprising considering his colorfulness, but he seems to either formerly be, or still is, a punk. No word why he left the band though or what happened to it, but during that point he met and befriended Orion and formed the Chirpy Chips with them. They’re described to be on good terms with each other, which makes sense since, again, they knew each other before the rest joined up. 

Orion

The band's bassist and composer, a shy flapjack octopus. Yeah, despite being an octopus, they’re not an octoling, likely because of the fact the flapjack doesn’t naturally produce ink. They must be classified as something different to the inkfish, but what that is is something I don’t know. They’re an introvert, they don’t enjoy standing out or performing in front of crowds, and the compositions they upload independent of the band are done quietly. Makes one wonder how exactly someone like them made friends with Noiji. They’re an intellectual, geeky type, with a taste for outdated and strange subjects, as well as a preference for chiptune that they ensure the bands music keeps to. 

Surprising us all, Orion also got actual dialogue of sorts in the Splatoon 3 Chill Season 2023 update! Specifically in the form of Harmony reading a letter written by them. As Harmony herself describes, they talk the way they play the bass, EXTRA. Mostly in the form of excited statements and jokes about the band's lack of dancing ability. Kind of a stark difference from what we know of them, either because they’re doing this via text without having to face anyone, or because they’ve become more outgoing over the years. Either way an honor. Also canon they/them! Good for they.

Sid

The band's drummer, and the eldest among them. They’ve been drumming for a while, having performed for several other bands before joining the Chips, and they have a strong reputation in the community because of it. It seems that because of this, they’ve taken something of a silent mentor role to the others, supporting them in the background without ever taking the lead. Sort of a big brother style relationship going on. 

They’re described as easygoing, but with a hidden temper that only ever surfaces once a year, where they become way crabbier. To me it says that they don’t really express their frustrations often, just letting them simmer before they snap and vent it out. And even then they don’t draw a lot of attention that way. 

Harmony (and fish)

The anemone of the hour, the band’s vocalist and visual designer. As said above, I’ll first go over the info we knew of her before her appearance in Splatoon 3, and then compare it to what we’ve learned now to see if it was faithful to her character. 

She’s described as relaxed and going at her own pace, but to the point of being unmotivated. She’s frequently late for practice, and considering the state of her fish, who is “dying” of neglect (quote marks there cause the little guy is still alive somehow), it sounds a lot like executive dysfunction. I would know, I’m like her sometimes. Her singing voice is mentioned to also have been pretty flat and listless, but it seems years of performance has made it change to a much livelier tone in the intervening two years. She talks loosely and moves peculiarly, something the fans secretly enjoy. Why secretly? Is there a stigma against it? Her listless singing is mentioned to be a hot topic, so it might be the case.

We see in the bands’ album art for Splatoon 2 that she’s the one who mixes the chiptune music on nintendo consoles. Easy to say that she’s the pre-requisite in-universe Nintendo fan for this game. There’s one in pretty much every franchise. Skipping to “3” a bit, we can also assume she’s the one who edited the trailer, which shows off a lot of fun visuals and jokes, as well as her just goofing off like the dork that she is. For how reserved she comes off, she’s got an eccentric, goofy side hidden under there.

But now we’ve actually met her as Hotlantis’ shopkeeper! She’s a fan of the place, so despite the threat of having to work retail, she’s staying in the area in the actual manager’s place while he’s gone. She’s a fan of the store and all its useless knick knacks. As for herself as a person, it’s safe to say it all matches what we used to know of her. She’s pretty self-paced and blunt, commenting on your achievements out loud no matter how rude it sounds. She admits to it too if she beats you at tableturf, she doesn’t really know how else to talk. Her lack of motivation shows up anytime she needs to recite something Barry told her to do. She just plain doesn’t want to do any of it. She still does the work she’s willingly doing, she’s just going at her own pace. 

The fish is a fish, no telling what is up with them. Though according to some artbook information in “3” (correct me if I’m wrong), the reason they’re so sick is actually because Harmony’s hair isn’t protecting it very well. They’re still sticking around anyway, granted we’re not sure how clownfish do without an anemone, but it still seems like they’re staying of their own volition.

—

Harmony’s, and later Dedf1shes inclusion, gives us all hope we can see more of our favorite obscure characters in the games themselves. And looking at Harmony, we don’t have to worry too much about them being out of character, since she’s pretty accurate to the info we know.

I love these weird goobers. They should continue showing up. But now we are in the finale. Ω-3 is all that’s left now. See ya next time!

[weevmo]

Ok so I genuinely never liked Wario and Waluigi; I always found their designs ugly as character boring. BUT IT TURNS OUT I WAS JUST A STUPID KID; your art of them made me dive deeper into their characters and holy moly I did those two dirty. Wario actually being more like a bodybuilder with a very brash personality, Waluigi having worked so hard to gain his skills and having his sassy romantic side- thank you for making me realise that they’re not boring ugly characters, they’re actually super in depth and totally worthy of being alongside Mario and Luigi! Also your art of them is so adorable and amazing, your style is amazing and I keep using the word amazing but I don’t know why else to use lmao; you totally should draw more of the two of them interacting with Mario and Luigi (if you’d like to)! Anyways thanks again, you’re awesome, your art is awesome, keep at it! :D

AAAAAAAAAAA dude I'm so GLAD, I am HAPPY to reintroduce my favorite raggedy boys to ppl. Nintendo hasn't been great about giving these guys too much depth or screentime but like, it so fun to put my own spin and draw some 'behind the scenes' stuffs for them! And they are a lot more complex than most realize!

They are TOTALLY worthy of standing alongside Mario and Weeg, they're seriously their own interesting unique ppl; I'm wanting to draw more interactions between the Wah and Mario Bros as soon as I can!

Thanks for the lovely message, glad I was able to help open your eyes a bit hehe

[causenessus]

HI NESS!! its like 3 pm rn so good afternoon 😋 i hope you're having/had(? idk when ur school day ends so like..) a good school dayyayay :)) HOPEFULLY YOUVE BEEN DRINKING WATER and ofc eating enough + taking ur meds 🙂‍↕️

when u mentioned some npc named cream cheese i started laughing like an idiot omg 💔 like picture me sitting in the living room next to my roommate bc we're watching a tv show and then i look down at my phone and start giggling out of nowhere.. cream cheese sounded like a real opp 😕🙏 i was the same but with mariokart bc rose gold peach was always hitting me w red shells fr LIKE I CRIED OVER THAT A LOT ACTUALLY (i was 7). and omg mario party!! i still play that whenever i have game nights bc i was able to buy a nintendo switch HAHAHAH and dude just dance hyperfixation goes crazy bc i got insanely good at rasputin solely because i thought i looked cool (i did not.) 😞

ALSO THE VOLLEYBALL GIRLS BEING MEAN IS SO REAL OMG.. lots of the vb girls at my middle school didn't like me for no reason it was crazy actually and that was partially why i didnt start until now LMAO theyre scary af sometimes akwkwnssj

IM GOING BACK TO SCHOOL TOMORROW and me and my friends were trying to figure out where to meet and its now coming to me that i have nothing planned whatsoever 😋 LIKE I DIDNT EVEN PLAN WHEN TO WAKE UP AND I ONLY REALIZED NOW PLS so today i have to lock in and plan an outfit hairstyle and lunch for tomorrow morning and uhhhhhh i wanted to write and post an akaashi oneshot before i went back to school bc i would probably lose the time to write frequently so... how do u balance out your time omg (DONT ACTUALLY ANSWER THIS ITS OK ITS RHETORICAL IM JUST YAPPING)

also i had no idea but like theres a district rule here that phones CANNOT be used at all in the school day unless u were explicitly allowed to.. like ive been getting intro emails from my teachers and their talking about A CELL PHONE VAULT⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ guys i just want my phone so that i can listen to music while i work on assignments please i swear im an ok kid 💔 i may just keep it in my backpack and always wear my hair down because im desperate.. i think i may have an aneurysm if i have to go the entirety of a day without music so desperate times call for desperate measures i suppose 😕

ANYWAY IM NOT GONNA REREAD THAT AND ATTEMPT TO CORRECT ANY ATROCIOUS LOOKING RUN ON SENTENCES SO I HOPE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND ME,, HOPEFULLY YOURE DOING WELL AND ARE HAVING A GOOD DAY!!

HELLO SAV!!! GOOD EVENING <3 (it's 10 pm rn oopsies) THANK U!! AND I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY <3 today was okay besides the embarrassment of hearing my own playlist being played in public...yk what i'm referring to..BUT also aa yes i will take my meds thank you for the reminder!! since 10 is when i'm supposed to take them 😭 i'll take them next time i get up!! bc i'm kind of comfy rn </3

PLEASE i never actually played mario kart </33 like then the switch came out and my friend had it and i played at her house but then she'd always get mad bc i'd beat her LMAO so i've actually never owned mario kart!! like i ended up get a hand me down switch from my sister's bf's sister who didn't want it anymore but it dies like within an hour of being used so i never play it </33 and DW i didn't look cool dancing to promiscuous even if i got 5 stars on it LMAOAO

but YES idk i think middle school volleyball is definitely the worst bc that's when the toxicity started for my friend in volleyball and i think it makes sense just because of what our minds are like at the state (trying to find ur place and form groups and everything yk </3 not to be a psych nerd or anything but ykwim </3)

AND AA BEST OF LUCK TOMORROW AT SCHOOL!! I'LL PROBABLY MESSAGE U AT MIDNIGHT TO WISH U LUCK AGAIN <3 I HOPE YOU GOT YOUR OUTFIT AND EVERYTHING PLANNED OUT!! i've also been just taking it day by day 😭 like my schedule depends on the day yk so like i've just been setting alarms the night before everytime my schedule changes (IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT I GET U SAV I GET U) and aa!! i know your question was rhetorical but definitely don't stress about too much please <3 take your time and just do what you can manage!!

AND THAT'S CRAZY?? A PHONE VAULT??? MAN YOUR SCHOOL IS HARDCORE I'M SO SORRY 😭😭 i definitely just keep my hair down and use earbuds most of the time bc i CANNOT go without music and like it's fine!!! i have great grades tbh so no one has anything on me 😌 i remember one time i had this math final and we had to put our phones in like a shoe hanger everyday (idk what it's called) but thank goodness wireless headphones exist!! so like my phone would still be connected to my earbuds <3 and my teacher made me lift up a beanie i was wearing to cover my ears LMAO AND I HAD AN EARBUD IN BUT SHE DIDN'T SEE IT BC THEY'RE BLACK like i am not rich enough to afford airpods and i don't want them anyway 😭 they look uncomfortable and ugly and they draw so much attention bc they're bright!! offbrand earbuds all the way <3

YOU ARE BETTER THAN I AM FOR PROOFREADING YOUR MESSAGE 😭😭 I'M GOING TO SEND THIS AS IT IS AND I'M SORRY FOR ANY RUN ON SENTENCES!! I HOPE YOU HAD A LOVELY DAY SAV <33

[godraet]

something something my god gan is truly lion and sun aesthetic and i continue to promote persian coded gerudo im never going to stop idk why nintendo let us down on so many fronts but it's my sacred duty to FIX IT ig im also going to be hero of the people

and speaking of that, i KNOW that gan made some real fuckshit choices, but as rauru says, he is in fact some entity born of prophecy to his people, every 100 years the padishah is born as hero of the people and has the right to rule simply by meeting the goddamn criteria, and im just going to say, if the things he was doing were like Evil he wouldn't be seen as a hero of his people

gan sends a literal stampede of molduga on hyrule but honestly its not like his people were objecting, which means he wasn't attacking for no fucking reason??? like ok yeah it's not Great but it sorta implies that huh maybe the gerudo didn't actually provoke this shit, what a wild concept, gan not just being this power hungry entity, but actually having like a real reason to be fuckin MAD

which also ties into gan wanting to kill rauru, like ok yeah sure sonia had a sacred stone too but he doesn't have beef with sonia, she barely seems to do anything other than sit next to rauru and not be seen as his equal if gan says that rauru was ignorant to her power it's like dude ok you obviously disapprove of the entire ass dynamic they have which is a whole different story, but why go for sonia who he has no apparent issue with when he could kill rauru who is "king of hyrule" like killing sonia doesn't actually do anything in the grand scheme of things???

there's this horrible anger and hurt that has built up in gan, he's evidently been doing things FOR HIS PEOPLE that they see him as a hero, not just a king that they have to follow because of some prophecy and the conditions under which he was born, it's so much deeper than like. him just being evil and the incarnation of demise. the man even gains a crown that looks sorta like the sun's rays and thats when he gains a sacred stone???

also there's truly a 0% chance that he could just suddenly master that level of magic if he didn't already HAVE it. much as the triforce just augments what already exists in someone, the sacred stone probably just does the SAME THING, it removes the limiters on his abilities, some of those which were absolutely self-made, because divine power makes someone rather isolated, be they loved or feared- gan already had the divide of being padishah by birth, he would never be like the other gerudo, whether he would be raised as vai or voe, there would ALWAYS be this massive divide in the end,

let's also not forget that gan just sorta wipes the floor with the other sages in the old days, and rauru only manages to seal him away, and even after 10,000 years of supposedly having no magic, he just YEETS the master sword??? yeah uhhhh theres a 0% chance gan wasn't a deity in the first place i just have no other way to explain this anyway this is getting very scattered but i have IDEAS for where this blog is going thanks

[kuiperror]

OK I am currently using speech to text because I was just about to go to bed but I just saw the Mario leaks so if you don’t want to know about the Mario leaks please do not read this post thank you.

OK so I just read the Nintendo Life article and I really don’t know what to think about it because the brothers look so weird OK Luigi is kind of cute I kind of dig him him with his character pose I fucking love the “character photos” I was laughing at it so so hard because first off: The Super Mario Bros. Super Show reference!!!!!!! plumbing’s our game … oh my god God I oh my God dude I dude dude dude I and then the and then the Luigi poster with his pose is really cute I think he’s kind of adorable I kind of I kinda love you Luigi… Mario just looks really weird to me like he doesn’t look he doesn’t look normal I hope that in the movie it doesn’t look as bad but I don’t like him personally and then peach peach oh my God I think she kinda looks really cute I love her dress I love I love I love her I just kind of like everything about her I don’t know if I’m really digging … I don’t really know if I’m digging the cartoony aspects of her face especially compared with like Mario kind of I don’t know if somethings … somethings off about Mario in all of these renders that I really just am not meshing with. but peach’s tagline on the character poster “she can do anything” you know that peach is going to be a girl boss #GirlBossMomentsSeriously!!!!! and I guess I was completely wrong about the whole “they’re not gonna show the Mario brothers from Brooklyn” because in one of the posters it says like Brooklyn on the street sign and you can see Pauline in the back so it’s like yeah I don’t really know what to think about this . TLDR Luigi is kind of cute somethings off about Mario I kind of like peach who is a #GirlBoss really excited for the trailer which is apparently dropping tomorrow I just heard about this I live under a rock god damn!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lovelylovelyartist]

LovelyLocke Leaf Green Part 8

OK, apparently all my Silph Co. stuff got lost in the Void, so I have no record of that. Long story short, I hate warp puzzles, Gary was wandering around and was doing fuckall to help with the whole Team Rocket bullshit, and is generally a dick. Giovanni didn't kill another one of my pokemon and sweet Peach was avenged, got the Master Ball which i cant use because it's against nuzlocke rules. But part of my rules is that I have to BATTLE the legendaries, so theres fun.

Where my footage picks up is inside the Fighting Dojo, which is a hysterical concept to me because you literally just go into someones fuckin karate practice space and kick everyones asses, so they're like "Were not a fuckin league gym anymore, why did you come in and defeat us all, take a pokemon and get the hell out!"

Welcome to the team, Marvin (I've always thought Hitmonlee looked like Marvin the Martian lol)

Sabrina is next on the badge count, and she is my favorite leader. she's a tough battle, Psychic pokemon are so goddamn powerful in this gen. but nevertheless, the team got the job done! Badge 5 (6 technically but it makes no goddamn sense to fight Koga first since im pretty sure hes got stronger pokemon)

So, in order to get the EXP Share, I need 50 pokemon in my dex. There's several pokemon in my box that could be evolved, so I'll work on evolving them.

starting with The Missle! heck yeah, ive never actually had a Hypno!

...... THE FIRST BATTLE AFTER HE EVOLVES?! DOES POKEMON GOD HATE ME

The Missle the Hypno

Level 11 - Level 26

After all our training, I think we're finally ready to face Koga. Lets get this bread!

C'mon Nintendo, Let the Hype Man say Fuck!

Koga's gym is so fuckin bullshit dude. I dont think I encountered a single poison pokemon until i got to the man himself! so frustrating man. But whatever, he's beaten, 6 badges in the bank! Blaine is next up, so I think I need to start preparing for the last two gyms and the E4.

The EXP Share would really help this process, so I got back into the Evolving train. Let's work on Omelette, welcome to the-

God. Fucking. Damn it.

Omelette the Exeggcute

Level 24 - Level 24

........ Idk how to tell you this bud. But I don't think you're going to get to propose today.

big mood. Thanks for the Fly though

So many Evolutions this update! The most exciting being Arson though, of course. Get Me Them Good Good Fire Boy!

That's it for this update, I think. Next update will be soon, its just a matter of getting my footage from my Ally to a computer to format posts. I'm pleased though, this run is going well. Hopefully I can carry this momentum into the Elite 4 and finish with a victory.

[xrskunkrx]

Yo’s & Ho’s galore! It’s the Santan Slayer Sled dashin’ red over the snowy blanket oh joy! Cuttin’ edge through fashion like Swiss cheese shooting Vatican out of U.S. !

Ok..

Gnarly, my dude. Almost forgot to fanboy Nintendo card game from the 1800s but I won’t. F it bro. They fkn boycotted it out of casino’s mfs. Wtf dude. Cmon man, fo real. Rig it all up like Fort Knox!?

W/e here it is.

After Korea, Anime!? You all just stop caring huh? You know they never fired a shot? If they didn’t, war would have kept goin’ on. Merica..

Moving on.

Ok I had this one in my portfolio, quick shill out. It’s coo, from your fav lesbos island bro! J/k

Ok..

Check this red mf out! You know it went straight red after the noise!? Whoa! Looks mad, nomad panda says you’re to blame. I just facilitate peace n’ sht. Can’t help it if I can fly, in my geno. Laws keep me from a lot so you’re fine until nearest fire tornado, sulfur rain storm.. I know, a lot firing, it’s called a corporate turn over rate. Kinda busted atm right now but I clean up piles at a time my dude. You be next episode they never get over…

Now we gives thanks to the Turkey the middle!?

W T F

You let them die!

Sick… bought aimless drills, over genocide!?

W T F

You killed Turkey.

Green eggs n’ Ham !?

W T F

Now they hostage anti regime side JaKo U.K. rian dumbo yongsan lard slurgants completely killing all humans. Why you all like this?

So, now we see ronin. Right hand gets burned up recently too!?

WTF

Hawaiian is gone but no one bats an eye!?

The hands, humanity let down by copy writing pedo star badazzling f…

Fury wild fiery elf shots, black man! Racist…

Kk, k where da feds at? Lulz they tried blaming COVID on me!!! Who am I?

Jonb, that’s me. You’ll never believe what complete disregard one has to go through once you see it through just one eye of mine homie. Yo a pile of child bones, yet finding them had everyone goes epidemics with outsourcing, imports oh & Walmarts off the chain. Equality!? You also killed mom n’ pops bro

Fo real w. T.. f…

Is the race over!? Na, but ya’ all on yo seconds. Eat it, you’re fryin’ beneath the ashes, gettin’ washed down. Check the label, dust it off. Poor ya down the world’s toilet bowl.

PS: whole wide world man made recipe. Ya folks go broke before you choke is a SYN you dug. Call me the gravedigger.

PPS: let me have your things, I need it. I live in a communist trash heap called Muskogee Oklahoma. I’m an American with no thin’ but a bunch of fiery twigs, AKA U.S. Gov slobs.

Oh! For warned they may kill ya, enslave ya or take ya grapes from ya. No joke homie. For what it’s worth, I give ya the grace of god. Figure that enough, you’re in for a surprise & theres something in there for ya if you know what I’m sayin’ bro I don’t fall, I leap. I can’t fear, I raise it out of no where. Exercising in a gym is for loosers ho ma yo to close, 6 feet or courts closed! Uhhhhh where every one go? First home buyers schism everyone that badly aye? Ddddddddd

….fin until then t(‘.’t)

[frogmoisturethief]

OK I’M GONNA TELL IT HEHE

(sorry if this is a long read 🙏)

SO. I’ll give a little context first. my mouth has always kind of hated me. growing up I had a spacer, then an expander (turning that thing at night, eeagh 😖), braces, and then a retainer, and now currently I have braces for a second time around. BUT! a “fun twist.”

I think it was sometime last year when my mom and I went to the orthodontist and they did an x-ray which showed that about four of my adult teeth never came in. they were just kinda stuck up there. so we made plans, extracted some teeth that were in the way, so that should fix everything, right? wrong. you see, one of these adult teeth was up there at an angle, so that meant there had to be some more… manual coaxing. translation: they were going to drill a hole in my gums, attach a CHAIN to my stubborn tooth, and attach the other end of said chain to my braces wire. great. 🙂(☠️)

now at this point you may be thinking! “Ess! you awful awful person! where do the wisdom teeth come into the story!” now. the answer is now.

because soon after deciding on that procedure, we figured out that I also needed to have my wisdom teeth removed.

we chose to do both procedures in one visit.

so soon enough, surgery day comes. I’ve got my bag, my jeans, and a loose shirt like they said in the instructions. the patient was supposed to have loose sleeves so they could roll them up and inject the anesthesia. or that would’ve been the case.

if my mom had let them put me under.

that’s right, esteemed guests! I was awake. the whole. time.

after some arguing between parent and surgeon, I was ready as I could be. honestly my attitude was pretty “screw it, we ball” like, “welp! I guess I’m doing this! this should be fun!” AND IT WAS KINDA FUN because they let me play music! I, of course, chose a playlist of upbeat nintendo music. it made the experience feel even more surreal. they started by putting a fun little gas whatever thing over my nose and numbing me with eleven shots. yep. little needles piercing into my gums eleven times. it was VERY uncomfortable and I could DEFINITELY feel all of them, but I tried to find the humor in being in that sharp pain with soft Kirby music playing in the background.

and then there was the actual procedure. dude. have you ever heard the sound of gum and tooth being cut with a wheel saw?* I heard it. I heard it alongside Gourmet Race.

it wasn’t too long, and the surgeons were fantastic. love them. not only because they did an amazing job, but also because they were chill with the nintendo music and even occasionally commented on it. first patient of theirs to have that music choice, yours truly!

“is this mario?” “*looks at monitor* nintendo” “what games did you guys play when you were kids?” [various chatter remembering their childhood]

and then later when the surgery was over but the music was still going:

“heh she’s dancing” “she’s dancing?” “yeah she’s dancing”

what can I say, they were bops (and I was hooked up to the gas but still)

but yeah! they removed all the wisdom teeth, drilled a hole in my gums, sent me to get the chain after recovery!

recovery was awful but the progress is showing and I’m still alive I’m here thank you

*booing*

*I think it was a wheel saw, it was a little hard to focus on it lol

hey uh mutuals

@heytrinity @whoaaaoaoo @deli-slimewich @a-bucket-in-the-void @silly-lil-scribbles @acewithobsessions @scream-at-a-whisper @redspacegirl @eternalknoxy @beware-the-metacrane @fenestrathesnake @leecemeterydate

do any of y’all wanna hear the wisdom teeth story

it was. quite the experience (could be entertaining) and I would really like to tell it

[frostyforya]

today i learned how fucking hard it is to track down a gamestop giftcard outside of gamestop itself

[punkcherries]

wow i really jus didnt post anything like all day huh JHGKFD

[lemonlurkrr]

@aureateart​ ok. My favourite parts of twilight princess  (and some other random thoughts about TP sprinkled in there) taken from my monster TP word vomit google doc :

Link lmao

Ok but for real, I like this incarnation of Link :)

I love Ordon (it just seems like such a chill and cozy village)

ALSO love how easy it is to interpret Link as being a sort of older brother figure to the Ordon kiddos. It’s just,, super cute? AND GHHH nice nice good thanks nintendo for giving me characters to care about/characters that I can imagine Link caring about

He didn’t sign up for any of this (tbh, none of the Links really signed up for this jshdjsd). But I mean like, dude was just going to take a trip to castle town, drop a gift off for the royal family, and come back. But haHA oopsies he did get to castle town eventually but definitely not the way he expected hsjdhsd

He’s just a little dude?

AND FUCK. HE REALLY HAD NEVER BEEN OUTSIDE OF ORDON UNTIL ALL OF THAT

everything is new for the player AND Link

Midna

She’s cool :)

she really just

*teleports into your jail cell* hello whore.

I am no master at writing but AYYYY she do got a character arc!!!

She was actually pretty helpful sometimes, I ALWAYS checked in with her before turning to a game guide

Other NPCs

NICE

Love all of the TP character designs (ASHEI’S ARMOUR??? AOWOAOAOOAO)

Saving Zelda and all of Hyrule was important yea but thinking back maybe it was more like, the Ordonians and the kids were what was pushing Link to keep on going

I like the Resistance members :) Very video gamey of them to have one NPC assigned to each dungeon but hey!!! Kinda cool getting to see a little glimpse of each of em

Idk, it’s just fun to imagine Link popping into Telma’s bar after each dungeon and taking a little rest :) (or to celebrate? maybe just chat, idk, give this man some downtime!!)

Honestly it was just kind of nice that Link wasn’t entirely alone. I mean, I know Midna was there the whole time, but I am always for giving Link a big group of friends (see my love for hyrule warriors, age of calamity, and LU LMAO)

Hero’s shade, very very cool, kinda sad he died with regrets but HEY. He got to pass on his knowledge eventually

AND the connection to OoT?? AND assumed to be related by blood too????? GOOD SHIT

Ilia, I REALLY really wanted to like her (er, it’s not like I dislike her, she’s just,,, kinda there for me).

It definitely seems like Nintendo was pushing to make her the romantic interest, but GHHHHH they really threw that out of the window for me by having her lose her memories

I saw a text post a while ago that said it would have been interesting if Ilia was Link’s sister instead and YES!! That would have been cool too :0

Wish we got to know Zelda a little more

I feel like we barely know anything about her

Idk man, like I said earlier, I never really had any sort of drive to save Zelda during my playthroughs

She obviously knows Midna, so maybe if they gave us just a little bit more of that relationship I’d be more interested in her?

TP WORLD BUILDINGGGG

Botw has good world building too, but each race felt kinda,,, isolated? I absolutely love the different architecture and vibe each town has (and all the the weapons too) but ghhh yea everyone felt so separated. As far as I can remember, we don’t see tooo much of the races interacting with each other? Now that I’m typing that out maybe that’s to be expected because of the calamity but KLSJDKJFD ANYWAYS THIS IS ABOUT TP

The world feels nice and alive, love how populated everything is

Castle town I like castle town a lot, it feels dense and busy and I really like how you can’t talk to every NPC you see

Very cool very fun that we got to see the Gorons hanging out in multiple spots

kinda wish we got to see the Zoras a little more (I guess they are a bit limited since they need water but GHHHH the tp zoras are so prebby,,)

BUT HEY, I do remember seeing a zora or two hanging out in the hot springs around death mountain after beating the lakebed temple (I think, might have been a different dungeon) 

but aaaa would have been nice to see them in at least a couple of other places. I think it would have really added to the “congrats Link!! You’re restoring peace to Hyrule” feeling you get from seeing the Gorons hanging out in Kakariko and Castle Town

ORDON

Love how chill it is and how it’s kind of separate from Hyrule proper

They really do seem to be doing their own thing apart from the rest of Hyrule

Just kinda adds onto the “he’s just a regular dude minding his own business” kind of vibes I get from TP Link

Also I like Ordona :)

THE LIGHT SPIRITS,,

Love their design

And love how they’re not exactly like a pure white?

Different spirit representing each aspect of the triforce my beloved

But yes hi I think Ordona is very cool

Who are you, how did you get here, which goddess do you represent? Do you even represent one of the three golden goddesses? Do the Ordonians know about you? Have any of them ever SEEN you??? Do they worship you? Does anybody even know about the existence of the light spirits?? FUCK so many questions but ghhh I like how they broke the status quo a bit by throwing in a fourth spirit :)

I feel like this one is kinda weird but I like that voice sample they used in the light spirit music. It’s spooky and pretty at the same time :)  

cutscenes mmmmm

Ok ok, the spooky lanayru cutscene is very good

BUT THE “Link, Chosen Hero! Lend us the last of your power!” CUTSCENE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM LOVE IT SO MUCH

IT just

Idk man

It just hit different

I like the music

And seeing the light spirits swimming around in the light juice water whatever it is

Summoning the light arrows?

AND HHHHH “Lend us the last of your power!” THIS IS IT. This is the final battle.

Seeing Zelda bow down, and then Link putting his hand out 👌👌👌

Link: ok bud, let’s do this together :)

Connection to OoT (did I already mention this? Maybe., Whatever)

Very cool nintendo :)

I love seeing connections between all the diff zelda games.

Because like, on one hand, they’re all separate from each other because of yknow, individual hero stuff. BUT ALSO, they’re all connected because of the reincarnation stuff

Grrrr walking through the sacred grove and going “The Hero of Time walked around here a long time ago” FUCK THATS SO COOL

Is the Hero’s Shade watching me? What does he think of me? DIsappointed? Proud? The Hero of Time went through HELL so this timeline didn’t have to deal with any of the shit Ganon was gonna pull with the triforce, better not fuck this UP Link!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Midlink is cute

Kinda hurts that she smashed the mirror but that was probably so Nintendo didn’t have to worry about people going “but what about the twili??????” for any of the other games LMAO

BUT ALSO LIKE SKJDKLJFJ There are some pretty massive plot holes in TP anyway so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whatever it’s fine we’ll just use this for angst because GOD do y’all like angst

So is Shadlink

Honestly don’t know where this ship came from but it’s cute so whatever

THE MUSIC??

Love Midna’s theme and how they referenced the dark world theme from ALttP (I remember trying to learn the dark world theme on the piano and doing the Leonardo DiCaprio point meme at the little jingle I recognized from Midna’s theme)

Hyrule field theme SLAPS.

Apparently references a couple of the other over-world themes from the previous zelda games (I got this from 8-bit Music theory’s video on the over-world zelda themes, he talks about TP at around 11:40 but def recommend watching the whole video if you’re into music analysis stuff)

So there’s this bit of the Hyrule Field theme, I don’t know the official name for it but I remember seeing somewhere it being called the “at an advantage theme” since yeah, you hear it during the boss music whenever you expose their weak points. FUCKINGGG LOVE THAT. Didn’t notice it during my first playthrough, but hearing it during my second was like a little easter egg for my ears every time :)

Midna’s lament is very pretty (and fun to play on the piano)

COURAGE THEME.

I didn’t care for it too much when I started playing the game but hearing it in ZREO’s arrangement of the Hyrule Field theme literally makes me turn into a puddle of emotions. Also hearing it around and of the Ordon kids (I think it plays after Link saves Colin) AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Orchestra piece #1 and #2 HOLY SHIT???????????????? 

Literally, the first time I listened to those I just,,,, plugged in my headphones, volume 100, layed on the floor/against my desk and silently vibed. I don’t know what the hell it is, but those two just fit so well with TP?? I still avoid listening to them nowadays cause if I DO I definitely will get overwhelmed with the “god I love this game so FUCKING MUCH” kind of feels.

Wolf link sucks at singing

the first time I heard him howling Zelda’s Lullaby I lost my shit because LKSJLDKSGLKJFSKG god that was.,, Bad. Anyways, hearing him howl some of the songs from OoT was cute :)

TP STAFF ROLL??? 

VERY GOOD. IT’s like 10 minutes long and GOD do I love every single second of it. It doesn’t have the same energy as the skyward sword staff roll or the orchestra pieces but GOD does it hit good??

Nice and calm after that big exciting adventure. Maybe it would have been more fun or emotional to have a higher energy piece but it was really nice getting to sit back and watch the camera fly around Hyrule. Seeing like, the Gorons and the Zoras having a good time, the kids returning to Ordon? GOOD SHIT.

and AAAAA that end, when you hear the main Zelda theme and see Link riding off out of Faron woods on Epona… good shit. It gets you thinking, where the hell is he going? What is he doing? Off ot do more adventuring? Going to help out the resistance or something? Going to help Zelda? Or maybe he’s trying to figure out a way to restore the mirror of twilight? Whoooo knows.

hhHHHHhhh it’s just that final reminder that YES!!! YOU JUST PLAYED A ZELDA GAME. JUST ANOTHER STORY APART OF THE WHOLE EPIC OF THE ZELDA SERIES AS A WHOLE

I also want to acknowledge the instrument/samples they used for all the twili stuff.

They’re all just so unique and contrast SO well with the rest of the TP OST. LIKE FUCK!! Anytime I hear the screech from the Twilit Kargarok? Sends a shiver down my spine. I associate those sounds SO strongly with the twili realm. (Like, the same way you associate the BSHEWW VVWWMMM sounds with light sabers)

I love it so god damn much

literally any time there’s a certain sound or motif associated with something I lose my shit

Sacred grove sacred grove sacred gro-

lovely lovely lovely so much fun playing that on the piano. AND again, I did the Leonardo DiCaprio pointing meme when I heard the theme from the lost woods come in GHHHHHHHH

shoutout to TP Faron Woods for helping me study and get through all of my schoolwork

BLEGUUHHH can you tell that I really love music?

and also yea I guess TP is kinda cool too :\

IF YOU READ ALL OF THAT THANKS I GUESS

[hohoz]

The ones that suffer the most

I wanted to talk about this for a long time.

I’m a Resident evil addicted, I finished almost every RE game released and I must say that Capcom made some poor choices regarding Jill and Chris, they are EASILY the most mistreated characters in RE Franchise. 

But let’s explain why is that: 

Jill and Chris are survivors, they had to survive in a mansion with a lot of puzzles and zombies, while looking for items that could help them to progress and find a way to reach Brad. 

When they arrive at STARS Office, they are revolted that Umbrella did all that under their noses and innocents were dying because of that and they explained EVERYTHING in a report - but Irons made that go away. 

In the ORIGINAL RE3 we had this special file (Jill’s Diary) 

August 7th Two weeks have passed since that day. My wounds have been healed, but I just can't forget it. For most people, it's history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly. Zombies eating people's flesh and the screams of my teammates dying. No, the wounds in my heart are not healed yet...

August 13th Chris has been causing a lot of trouble recently. What's with him? He seldom talks to the other police members and is constantly irritated. The other day, he punched Elran of the Boy's Crime department just for accidentally splashing Chris's face with coffee. I immediately stopped Chris, but when he saw me he just gave me a wink and walked away. I wonder what happened to him...

August 15th Midnight. Chris, who has been on a leave of absence for a "vacation," called me so I visited his apartment. As soon as I walked into his room, he showed me a couple of pieces of paper. They were part of a virus research report entitled as simply as "G". Then Chris told me that, "The nightmare still continues." He went on to say that, "It's not over yet." Ever since that day, he has been fighting all by himself without rest, without even telling me.

August 24th Chris left the town today to go to Europe. Barry told me that he would send his family to Canada and then he would follow Chris. I decided to remain in Raccoon City for a while because I know that the research facility in this city will be very important to this entire case. In a month or so, I'll be joining with them somewhere in Europe. That's when my real battle begins...

For some weird reason this file isn’t available in RE3 Remake. 

But ok, here we see that Chris was doing some investigation - in the RE2RMK  you could see this letter that Chris left in a way that normal people wouldn't understand - the only thing that Claire says is that “doesnt look like him” but how normies would understand what Chris is like is he is not well represented in media ??????????????????

And Jill had all the detective work in her wall. 

So far so good - we understand the basics about them - they are Special police force, the elite, they had a traumatic experience and they survived to tell the story. 

Some problems until now:

Jill had a MAJOR personality change in RE3 RMK- I honestly like most of that, she is a badass in the originals and she is a badass in the rmk but I still dislike the fact that she swears all the time (specially because in RE1, RE Rev, RE5 she doesn't do that) 

We can tell a lot about her personality just looking at her room, but I still miss some stuff (I had expectations - so this is not a real problem. but still) like a Vinyl player (since she is probably into classical music), some letters from her father so new players can understand her origin and why is she so good in lockpicking and more about her dog (she had a pic in the original that could’ve been her boyfriend but it was replaced by a dog in RE2 rmk but in RE3 Rmk there in no dog) 

Okay - after you finish the game the only thing we see is this: 

In my opinion this is Chris since he is always associated with Green colors while Jill is associated with blue. 

So my speculation here is that she found him while in the original we had this: 

This is not a major chance but still is important (lore of course - duh) but the problem here is that while Jill is looking for him - Code Veronica is happening. 

So I can only assume two things, they did not show him because they DON’T HAVE A FACE FOR HIM or I am wrong and that is Jill, but if that is Jill so why there is no decent epilogue like the original ? 

Okay, now we are arriving in the real trouble area

I will do RE5 first and the Wii and Rev1 (even tho those two comes first in the lore) 

RESIDENT EVIL 5 

So before the game was release we had some propaganda, including this: 

So have in mind that Jill was dead, I thought that she died and RE5 would explain that shit. 

But in the beginning we see that Chris is looking for her and have in mind that Chris HAD A MAJOR CHANCE IN HIS APPEARANCE, and I’m not talking about his muscles. 

I will not address Chris in CV since he was good in that game but I the team that made CV also made the original, it had CONSISTENCE. 

Here we have Chris, he’s THE classical american soldier protagonist from Hollywood in the 80′s/90′s and he had some omage to TOPGUN

He also shares some traits with his sister

A major trait here is that HE HAS BLUE EYES, typical good looking soldier from US. 

and now let’s have a look at Chris in RE5...

Yeah... I still hate this face even tho I love his Character in this game, this ugly a** monkey looking mf and he had a lot of steroids

So we have some lore to him in RE5, Jill and Chris went to a mansion looking for Spencer (one of the fathers of Umbrella and the one that was behind project Wesker, he wanted to do this Virus so he could live forever, so RE has a good lore, it’s not just about zombies) but when they found him, he was dead and Wesker was by his side, in a fight Jill sacrificed herself to save Chris’s life. 

Chris started doing mission after mission because her body was never found, and he made a name for himself, he became a ‘legend’ inside BSAA and you can see that in the beginning of RE5.

The reason behind the muscles was probably to fight Wesker mano to mano but still is not well made, it really felt weird playing for the first time. 

So now we have a problem here, there is thing that you use in a narrative that is to make someone strong af powerless, and they did that to Jill. (a good example of this is in TWD- Ricky is a fucking legend and Negan made him powerless in the face of a event) 

Jill was used in a Boss fight and that is it... She is not in the game as a character, she is being manipulated and her whole design was changed, she looks like Nina from Tekken. WTF. - BTW, the fact that Wesker had mind control over her created 1000 fics of sex 

 So that is it, my main problem here isnt Jill itself, but it’s the fact that they used her character as a boss even tho she is the heroine, she never appears in RE lore again until some guy inside Capcom said “Well people are asking about Jill so let’s place a file in Rev2 saying that she is in rehab” 

The only time that she appears again is in a 3DS NINTENDO ONLY game, it felt that Capcom simply don’t care about her character. 

By the way Revelations 1 is a great game and was adaptable some years later for PC and consoles

But you think that this is bad, wait until we arrive at RESIDENT EVIL 6 

When I learned that Jill was not in RE6 I was mad... But after I played that game I said “thank you God” that game was bad, transformers kind of bad, it had bad writing, the lore was all over the place and Chris was the one that suffered the most in this game. 

He was responsible for the death of an entire squad, suffered amnesia and people still wanted him in the command 

THEY MADE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC 

The golden boy of BSAA reduced to THIS. 

By the way, the director said that HE WANTED TO KILL CHRIS IN THIS GAME to SUBVERT EXPECTATIONS - so if you liked Piers now that he died only because of that. 

So now let’s analyse what we know: 

The first 2 main characters are not well represented in media until RE6, they don’t know how to re introduce Jill in the games and Chris was reduced to a normal guy at a Russian bar;

But it gets worse... 

Capcom LOVE Leon, we know that. he is always the hero, he is the protagonist in almost every movie and he is always the cool guy so when he get’s a new model, he looks like this:

But When Chris get’s a new face he look like this: 

WHO DAFUQ ARE U, no offense to the model but he has NEGATIVE JAW LINE.

And still he doesn't look like Claire’s brother, there is no blue/green eyes and he looks younger that he was in 6 (and 6 still uses that ugly character model) 

But let’s go in the lore- we HAVE 0 info on Jill in RE6 / RE7 and no sight of her in RE8 

And speaking of which, they tried to make Chris the bad guy in the trailer so when we play we see “Ohhhh he was not the bad guy, that happened and that is why he did that” 

But still... 

If they are going to do that to his character don’t use this character, shit ! Do something with that Wesker’s son that made 0 sense in RE6 but leave Chris out of this - it really feels that they simply don’t know how to treat him right

And you may think that I may be complaining a lot because of his appearance

But this is him in RE8  

(to me this is some random dude from Russia) 

And this is him in RE:Verse (that is going to be release TOGETHER) 

So this tells me that they have 0 clue of how to handle his looks

Jill got RE3Rmk but it felt like a cheap game compared to RE2Rmk where the original RE3 was SO MUCH BETTER

And this is bad because there are so many new fans joining the fandom only to see 2 great characters suffering from poor director’s choices. 

I’m sorry about this rant, if you like Chris face and looks its okay, really, but dont tell me that Chris from 5/6/8 is the same from 1/CV and if you think im wrong about Jill its fine, but she is an amazing character that could have so much more impact in RE universe (I mean, she never even appeared in a RE movie - animations) 

But it’s sad to see so many characters that receive good representation in media and good games/lore while Jill get’s almost none and Chris is handled like random face guy. 

I was going to talk a little bit more about Rev 1 and RE Umbrella Chronicles but there is no need since Im mad right now and it seems that Capcom has 0 interest in making Code Veronica and Umbrella’s fall after that since their fav boy Leon need a rmk in RE4 even tho RE4 is not that old. 

Bonus:

Fun fact: Chris served in the Air force, so yeah, to me even Tom Cruise looks more like Chris than Chris from the games

[thefatter-thebetter]

Game Night, Gain Night

Before the story I just wanted to say I tried something different with this one. I thought something other than eating to cause the weight gain would be a cool idea.  I’m also bad at naming characters so these are the two I had in mind when writing lol.  I have a more normal stuffing story on the way tomorrow if this idea didn't turn out great.  I hope you like it!

After some time David finally got a Nintendo Switch.  Of course the first thing he is going to do is invite his best friend Krystal over to hang out to play.  It's been awhile since they both had time to hang out like this, spending time with a friend is exactly what he needs right now.

The doorbell rings, she must be here.  David goes and opens the door.  Krystal stands there in a flannel shirt and jean shorts. 

"Hey!  It's been awhile!  How are you?" he says. 

"I'm good!  Thanks for inviting me over.  How about you?"

"I just got a Switch so pretty good." he says

Krystal giggles, "Good point."

"So, what do we start with?" David asks her.

"Hmm, did you get Smash?  I kinda feel like beating you bad at something." Krystal says tauntingly.

"Oh, ok.  Sure if you think you can." He says with confidence.

They both sat down on the couch ready to play.  They go to choose their characters and quickly get into the match.  They both go back and forth trading blows.  Krystal quickly takes the advantage.  A party ball drops down and David throws it at Krystal.  It breaks into a bunch of food items and sends her flying.  David grabs as much as he can to try and heal but Krystal hits back with a big hit.  David goes flying off the screen.  With that Krystal takes the first round.  Just then David started to feel different.  He felt like his clothes were tighter all of a sudden.  He checks his stomach and feels some newly found pudge there.

"What?!  How did this happen?"

Krystal laughs at his shock, "It looks like you focus too much on food both in game and out nowadays."

"No I'm serious, how did I get this belly out of nowhere."

"Dude it's ok if you put on a few since I last saw you, in fact it looks good on you.  Let's just play the next one."

He is not going to get through to her while she's gloating about the first round.  He'll just need to beat her to show her this isn't a joke.  They pick new characters and the next round starts.  Krystal gets an early life lead.  This round has more party balls with a bunch of food in them.  This time Krystal is flaunting her lead around by trying to grab as much food as she can instead of fighting.  David takes advantage of that and takes her out to even up the game.  Both on their last lives now they Krystal gets serious.  She goes in for the kill but David counters her and win the round.

"Oh come on, you just won cause of that gold feather move. That's so..." She cuts off.  Krystal looks like she's trying to processing something.  Now she understands.  She begins to grow just like David did.  Her face stars to fill out, stomach expanding, thighs thickening.

"Maybe you shouldn't of ate so many food drops," David shoots back to Krystal.

"This isn't funny!  She shouts back.  "Where did you even get this Switch anyway!?"

"From an old man in a cave, where do you think?"

She sighs at that comment.  "Ok jackass, what else do you want to say about this mess?"  David takes a moment to think then says, "At least you’re not playing Kirby?"  Her only response is a swift punch to the arm.

"Oww, listen i have an idea."

"Go on," she says.

"Ok, clearly something is going on here.  How about we make this a little interesting?  One more game, 5 lives, items on max, loser gains all that weight picked up.  Sounds like fun?  A smirk came over Krystal's face, "Your on.  I know you’ve always wanted to be a fat boy deep down."

The match begins, both of them being much more careful than before.  Whenever am item drops they make sure to break it open and grab all of the food inside.  Krystal is the first to slip and gets knocked off.  David grabs all the food he can before she's back in.  Krystal then gets him right back by knocking him out.  Back and forth they go trading the lead until they both are on their last life.  Each one is dangerously close to getting ko'd.  A lone box drops from the sky.  They both dash to break it open.  They both hit the box but instead of bursting into food, it blow up in both of their faces, causing them both to fly off the screen, a double ko.  Stunned they stare mouth wide open and look at each other.  "So...what does that mean?" Krystal says.  The two both feelings their stomachs rumble David says, "I think you already know."

Slowly, they both begin to expand.  David's stomach begins to bulge out.  His shirt starts to ride up and the button on his pants pop off.  The shirt continues to shrink around his growing body.  His is arms and face begin to fill out as his stomach comfortably rests between his legs.  Suddenly the fabric gives out and rips from his girth.

Krystal's belly quickly bulges out, straining the buttons on her flannel.  Her breasts break through the top few buttons with ease.  She then rips open the shirt to find some relief.  Before she could do the same for her bra it bursts off.  The button on the shorts look like it's being eaten by the top half of her fat gut.  Soon her belly can't be contained as it destroys the button sending it flying.   Her thighs becoming these massive pillows of flab.  Arms growing into these jiggly masses.  Her double chin filling out into her neck.

The creaking of the couch struggling with the two's ballooning weight can be heard.  Still feeling the slow growth David exclaims, "When will this stop!  The sound of more fabric tearing can be heard.  His jeans begin ripping at the seams.  Soon his fat legs break though escaping the pants.  Krystal's shorts didn't last as long, quickly bursting off her body.  Finally their bodies begin to settle, both of them easily 500 pounds now.

“Well, what could happen now? Krystal says.

The couch creaks a bit more before it snaps.  Both her and David fall onto the floor causing the ground to shake.  

“I guess break your couch.”

"No big deal,” David tells her.  “Honestly, I kind of like this new size.  I could get used to it"

"In that case you're paying for our meal then.  I’m feeling really hungry all of a sudden." Krystal fires back.

[bowserinthesky]

I was tagged by @asten! Thank so much fot tagging me, dude!

Nine People I want to Know Better

Last song: I just watched the splatoon 3 direct so the last song I listened was actually Anarchy Rainbow by Deep Cut (I liked the new trio btw)! If this one doesn’t count it was Logo Eu by Jorge & Mateus that I listened at the radio while I was going back home from work

Last show: the last show I finished was Bridgerton that I watched with my mom last time she visited me (next time she visits me I think we gonna watch the lastest season of stranger things btw)

Currently watching: I started watching One Piece recently but I dunno if I gonna be invested enough to watch the one thousand episodes the show has...

Currently reading: Febresgo’s Manual about gestational hypertension? tbh I’m not reading much lately unless is something work related... A friend of mine lend me The Warlock Chronicles by Bernard Cornwell but I still haven’t started reading it

Current obsession: Usually my obsessions involve games, usually the last nintendo direct :p The most current one is probably Monster Hunter Sunbreak since I have the game and they just released a new DLC

The people I gonna tag a lil less than nine: @light-wolf @exceptionally-stupid @jonnothyvase @redfagdiver @lobonovawolf and @flyingcookiegumtruckthing

The people tagged also just answer if you want, ok?