#like dude they are so fucking cooked its unreal

[shybiii]

Interesting that in TMAGP there's such a marked difference in the consumption of information. A main conceit of TMA was that learning about the Fears was a powerful tool, and obstruction of information was what ultimately doomed the protagonists in the first place. The OIAR's main protocol (haha) is censure and control of knowledge. The employees simply scan the case files for the basic information required to categorize a "statement," and then move on and not think much of it beyond that.

Compare this to even season one of TMA. While Jon was willfully turning a blind eye to everything going on, he was still thinking about them, making follow-up statements, remembering important names, etc. In short, he was to some degree using critical thought and analysis at nearly every point. He was also, notably, forced to engage with the True statements because he had to read them out loud.

The OIAR, on the other hand, being a division of bureaucratic government (former military, I believe?), actively discourages critical thought and engagement with the statements. They do not read the case file, a computer reads it for them in a random order drip feed. Their job is not to understand, but just to file it correctly and move on. Alice even encourages Sam to leave the room and do something else while the statement is being given, and then later "warns" him not to look too deep or think about it at all. The idea of it being a "boring no-thoughts government job" is repeated over and over and over. Turn your brain off, don't engage, be a drone. Sam has been hindered at nearly every turn trying to do the basic background research that Jon would have been able to do post-statement.

Knowledge is power in any Magnus Archives universe. The Institute made it difficult to acquire. The OIAR is actively hostile to it. Whether it's "for the greater good" or not, it is absolutely going to get these people killed.

[eliwatchesf1alot]

MEXICO GP 24

i feel so bad for all the ones who dnf'ed expecially alonso my man retired on his 400th race i cannot rn they did him so bad

liam lawson just freaking banging into everyone like its his last day racing and is out for revenge from the ones that wronged him

colapinto did a great job

yuki's crash made me jump oh my lord my man

20 SEC PENALTY FOR MAX UNREAL but he did deserve the first one like what was that my dude

well done carlito whatever ig (no really well done)

CARLANDO PODIUM

LANDO PREVENTING A FERRARI ONE TWO I LOVE THIS SHIT I LOVE HIM I LOVE MCLAREN FUCK YOU FERRARI I JUST LOVED TO WATCH THAT "LANDO SPLITS THE FERRARIS" I LOVED TO HEAR THAT

the cc fight is now between mclaren and ferrari my friends are so going to have fun with this

honestly it was just because piastri has been at the back for two races in a row

haas cooked

i love formula one

[bugcatcherwill]

I DON'T EVEN THINK I CAN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE LAST CHAPTER MAN [IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE] I JUST. YOU COOKED MAN AS ALWAYS CAN'T FUCKING WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE

I think I've said this before [I think it was on anon but I SWEAR it was me just before I got comfortable sending asks off of anon out of fear of sounding stupid or something G RHJFJEJFJFJ] but oh my fuck dude Kobb and Rezek's friendship [🏳️‍🌈 /silly] is SO SPECIAL TO ME especially because I've been rereading the earlier chapters of ratc so I can explain the plot better to my qpp and god I love seeing how far they've come it FUCKS ME UP SO BAD /POS

The way they both went from being so distrustful and angry with each other to this IMMENSELY VISCERAL UNBREAKABLE TRUST AND FAITH between them. The way Kobb was the first out of ANYONE that Rezek told about Frifer. The way that Kobb was the first one it felt comfortable/safe enough with to hug [after they left Korok Forest way earlier on in the story] and probably just be that close with in general. THE WAY THEY STILL FIGHT AND ARGUE SOMETIMES BUT ALWAYS MAKE UP AND GROW CLOSER WITH EVERY MISTAKE. The way that in the last chapter Rezek was the one to stop Sledge from charging into the Lynels when they thought it had killed Kobb because it SO INTENSELY BELIEVED AND TRUSTED that Kobb would be okay, and how it knew it was still alive when they all teleported back to Akkala before it even sat back up. GOD YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

I've been calling then stormshelter,, thinking of other names but I might just stick with that,, UGG HHHHH THEY'RE SO LOVELY THEY'RE SO IMPORTANT TO ME WILLNYOU COOKED SO HARD WITH YOUR CHARACTERS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

YEAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH

God I could talk about Rezek and Kobb for hours it's unreal. One part that I really love about their dynamic is that usually when you see clashing within the party in fiction it's over misunderstanding and/or hearing the wrong parts of convos (which I can't stand which is why they will never appear here lol)

But no Rezek and Kobb are both "Oh, I understand everything. I just think you're wrong" lajhskdfasdk

I still remember back during the Korok Forest arc where I was like "okay who's going to be the one to get everyone to go back to Rezek". At first I was gonna make it Sledge since it had its whole first encounter with Rezek and knew it was hiding more than it let on. But I ultimately decided on Kobb because I was like "No. It would be such a good example of Kobb's character if it was the one to go back to Rezek instead."

I JUST GRAHHHHHHHH KOBB NEVER EVER GIVES UP!!!!!

I feel like it was THAT moment that solidified what I really wanted to do with Kobb. And then its dynamic with Rezek as consequence. LIKE REZEK THOUGHT ALL OF THEM WOULD GIVE UP ON IT WHEN THE INEVITABLE HAPPENED BUT THEY DIDN'T AND THE ONE IT CLASHED WITH THE MOST SPEARHEADED THEM RECONCILING AAAAAAAAAA

AND THAT LED TO KOBB BEING THE FIRST THAT REZEK OPENED UP TO ABOUT FRIFER LIKE U SAID YEA YEA

MY FAVORITE CONTRAST BETWEEN THEM, PERSONALLY, IS HOW THEY'RE EQUALLY EMOTIONAL/ANALYTICAL BUT IN OPPOSITE WAYS

Kobb's very emotionally controlled while Rezek has a tendency to let its emotions get the better of it. BUT THEN WHEN IT COMES TO COMBAT THEY'RE THE EXACT OPPOSITE. Kobb is often a little too eager to hop into battle (as seen in the Rito AND Lynel arc) to prove a point, while Rezek is EXTREMELY controlled and patient while in battle. (Exceptions notwithstanding Rezek was just being a little silly in its duel with Ire).

WHICH MAKES THE MOMENT WHERE REZEK GOES "I still believe" HIT SO HARD because it has so much trust in the combat-side of its brain when it says that Kobb is still alive it believes it 200%.

Stormshelter tho omg,,,,,,

[nat-stimmy]

for the ask game: 49, 50, and 51?

- How do you feel about romantic subplots in movies? HATE THEM SO MUCH ITS UNREAL JLKFDJSKLDFS Like, okay, not every romance subplot is bad, I just. It's always the SAME??? I love romance in fiction, I'm a HUGE sap, but come ON,, give me something other than cishet white man falls in love with cishet white woman. please. Most of the time they don't even have chemistry??? It's just there because it's tradition to have it. Sometimes.... Sometimes you don't need a romance subplot in the movie. Sometimes it makes the story worse! Also I despise seeing real people kiss it grosses me out so fucking much so every time I watch a live action movie I'm on edge when the Romance Starts, and so I just eventually stopped watching movies altogether. (The last movie I watched was the new mlp g5 movie a few weeks ago, and that was the first movie I've watched in. possibly around a year) Any arospec headcanons? Warly and WX-78 from Don't Starve are the two I have at the moment! I have a lot of love for the aro Warly hc especially :] He's just a nice dude!!! A dude who loves to cook and loves to make ppl happy thru food!!!!! How do you feel about romance tropes in media? [enemies to lovers, only one bed, fake dating, the italicized oh, etc.] So I mentioned earlier that I love romance (when it's not cookie-cutter "QUICK MAKE THE TWO HETERO LEADS KISS" shit) and that includes the corny tropes of "oh my god there was only one bed.... oh my god they were enemies but the bad guy vs good guy fighting became flirting.... oh my god they were ROOMMATES..." but like. all of that just make it gay as hell One of my personal favorite is mutual pining (but one character is just completely oblivious and unable to pick up ANY of the flirting and OBVIOUS signals that the person they're crushing on is giving them for whatever reason) because of the comedy that can arise JKLFDJKLFDJ it never gets old (and also can be used for some good good hurt/comfort)

[yoichichi]

Bunny’s 200 follower event

request: omg hey babe i’m so excited- can i pls get one matchup from haikyuu and one from aot? whoever you think is best and not just bc you know how much i love asahi and hange lmaooo okay so i’m bisexual with a preference for females! i am an infp and a scorpio sun, leo moon, and gemini rising (and a scorpio venus 😳). i love writing and dancing! i love kpop (i know 😔), more specifically girl groups! my favorite is the group “twice” and i would prefer to be with someone who will listen to it with me! and i’m passionate about politics and playing the violin and piano! i’m rather introverted, very intuitive, very empathetic, and and i am perceptive. (literally described my mbti i’m so sorry) i am rather awkward and can appreciate a partner who is strong where i lack. i think i would like someone who is self-assured and able to assure me despite my severe social anxiety. i would also like someone i could extend my protective tendencies to, someone who would let me take care of them. i love to cook, clean, and bake (when i’m not being forced to) and would love someone who would let me do those things for them. i’m a rather physically affectionate person and i would NOT be able to be with someone who couldn’t match my energy. if they don’t enjoy physical affection i couldn’t be with them. i would appreciate someone who could understand my need for validation and offer it without being overbearing. i’m family-oriented and am determined to build a strong, healthy family with a partner who shares the same values. i would also prefer to be with someone who can appreciate my cultures since they’re pretty big parts of who i am! i am agnostic and would prefer to be in a relationship with someone not overly religious because religion makes me uncomfortable :/ i also refuse to be with someone who does not share my progressive views. if they wouldn’t be wearing their mask over their noses and refusing to eat out during a pandemic i wouldn’t even look their way. i’ve never had a serious relationship before and would prefer someone who has been in one and understands that i need time to adapt to it. as for a physical description i’m a little on the heavier side, i’m mexican-japanese, 5’5, have pretty pale skin, and extremely dark brown hair and eyes. i have a pear shaped figure and dude i have like no tits at all. i’m wearing a b-cup rn and i don’t fill it i hate it here. i tend to wear dark colors in comfortable fashion and i prefer modern/androgynous fashion. my pronouns are she/they!

a/n: omg hi bae!!! ALSO PLS THE KPOP PART WAS SO FUNNY and these guys better watch out before I match you with myself bae 😏 okok teehee pls enjoy ❣️ anon! Also omg this took 5 years I’m so sorry I don’t have internet until the 12th so using my data is a struggle 😭 okok I hope you enjoy!

Reading your request, you have been matched with...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Mikasa Ackerman

LISTEN I think y’all would genuinely make such a good couple

Any of your interests she will sit and listen to you talk to them for literal hours and want to combust cause she thinks you look so fucking cute ranting about it it’s unreal

Sometimes you do have to take breaks ranting though cause she just wants a kiss so bad but she promises she’ll let you continue after a half hour of making out LMAO

Her favorite position to listen to you rant about k-drama is with your head laying in her lap while you look up at her so she can play with your hair and still see your face, and it makes it easier to steal a forehead kiss or too

Her second favorite though is when you’re ranting about work and you get particularly frustrated so she pulls you into her chest and runs her fingers down your back and the sides of your arms while you relax

If you can’t tell I strongly HC mikasa loves physical affection

I think its just easier for her to show you how much she cares through little gestures of affection - and she’s currently obsessed with the way your eyes close when she cups your face with both hands and rubs her thumbs across your cheeks so there’s that too LMAO

Massages‼️‼️

When you’re watching a movie and you rest your legs on her lap her hands just naturally start rubbing at your legs and if you get sleepy she just leans over and gives you a kiss on the cheek and carries you to bed and is so <3333333

Ok but she loves when she’s laying between your legs and her head rests on your chest and you play with her hair, like she’s out 5 minutes TOPS and she does drool a little but it’s ok cause she’s cute

Whenever you play the violin or piano in front of her she’s just so 😍😍😍like she will happily sit and watch you practice for hours cause she just loves how pretty you sound and how she can just feel your passion through the way you’re playing

Ok at first I think she’d have a hard time understanding why you take care of her like she’d come home and you’d have dinner already made and she’d just be 🧍🏻‍♀️...... w-what do you want from me LMAO

But I feel like she’d get use to it really fast and always appreciate the things you do for her

Now her heart gets so warm when she comes home and smells dryer sheets cause you did the laundry already, or if she hears the you blasting music she knows she’s probably gonna find you in the kitchen cooking dinner

Ok but Mikasa leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed and she’s just smirking and staring at you cook until you notice she’s there?

🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️ WHew

Omg she loves being your little taste tester while you cook and will sometimes just wait around the kitchen like 😶 until you offer her a bite and then she acts all surprised like 😯🤭 I mean ok 🤗

Ok ms quiet feet loves scaring you sorry LMAO

BUT ITS NEVER IN A teehee GOT YOU WAY

She just knows she walks quiet and she loves when she walks into a room you’re already in and you jump a little and clutch your chest she just thinks it’s the cutest thing ever

She’s one of the most appreciative people of you and adores everything about you 🖤🖤

Your vibe reminds me of...

Another suitable match for you would be...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Iwaizumi Hajime

No cause LISTEN

THis man sees you and his knees are WEAK

Idk what it is but I just know that you’re his type like

Smth about your androgynous dark fashion catches his eye

Like he deadass watches walk across whatever room you’re in like 👁👄👁 and it’s so obvious too and you’re sweating like 👀 what’s this mf WANT

And he’s a bold mf too

Straight up just goes up to you and asks for your number yes he’s getting really sweaty and definitely is stuttering and walks away feeling 🥴

But when you text him back he is so !!!!!

Okok onto the relationship sheesh

He is so patient and understanding with you it’s unreal

The type mf to make you think like,,, damn people like this exist?

The first date y’all go on he even asks if you’re ok with him holding your hand and when you say yes he literally smiles and goes “cool :)” and his hands are so warm and big compared to yours and he keeps your hand for most of the date after that lolol

Ok but listen

Y’all went to Walmart once to get some much needed groceries and this old guy wasn’t wearing his mask right, like it wasn’t covering his nose, and iwa just s t a r e d at him like 🧍🏻

And when the guy was like ???

He went “I’m just trying to figure out how stupid you must be to not know masks cover your nose, too. 😐.”

You had to get Iwa out of the aisle before he almost got into a literal physical altercation with an elderly man LMAO

But He was like :/ I’m sorry I was dramatic inside I just didn’t like it :/ once you got in the car and he was embarrassed so much for saying something to the guy ajsksdjwij

He lets you blast whatever you want on the aux when y’all are driving even if he hates what you’re playing 😭 and he would NEVER be caught dead admitting he doesn’t like what you’re playing cause you like it so much but sometimes a song comes on and he just shoots you a side look like 👀 oh nice nice LMAO

You made him breakfast once and he cried

Like he came out and you were dishing up his plate and he just went 😐😖🥲 t-thanks

He denies it to this day though

He lovvveesss making dinner with you

It’s his perfect destresser after a bad day :(((

He loves it when you fall asleep on him too like he naps with you on accident all the time cause he’s just so big and warm and when you fall asleep on him he gets so lovey and cozy that he just dozes off and at this point he just doesn’t care about his sleep schedule anymore 😭

He’s your big ol cuddle bug :)

Your vibe reminds me of...

ongomgomg im sorry this took so long 😭 I hope you like your pairings and I can’t wait to hear from you 🥺🤲🏼

And to everyone else waiting I’m finally able to start writing again but I still won’t have internet for almost another week so they might be pushed out slowly but I’m going as fast as I can 😭❣️

Love y’all!

-🐇out

[gabriel-kitty]

1000 years - JadeDaveKat fan fiction.

chapter #1

The voices linger in your mind, you tried to convince yourself that you would wake up at any moment, the haunting melody ringing in your ears...their voices still whispering softly, laughing gently…you wish you could bring those days back…you let out a raspy breath as you stare into the darkness in front of you, a figure lingers by the doorway…it almost looks familiar…the figure shifts into two as you close your eyes. Your grip was tight onto the silky fabric, the feeling of cold, hard metal resting next to you…you can feel your breaths slow as you hold on tightly to what you have left, its almost like they’re here with you…it still smells like them…they’re not dead…they’re fine, you wish you could wake up from this nightmare, this pain, you just want it to end…it seems almost unreal…The sound of doors creaking open…voices….empty…

The door opens wide,

“John!” a young boy had spoken, his name was Dave strider, Dave had fluff pink hair, very soft and pettable, “what the fuck are you doing”, Dave stared blankly at the boy, John turned to him awkwardly, “but I was about to do some cooking-“ without warning he was grabbed by the wrist and practically pulled out of the door, he stumbled a bit as his pace then matched Dave’s, Dave turned to John as he let go, “We’re going to explore that creepy ass castle, house thing on the hill, remember?” as soon as these words were spoken, john had understood and nodded to Dave, fuck he is RIGHT, john had totally forgotten about that!

There wasn’t much time to dwell on that however because two girls came up to them- it was Rose and Jade. Jade had her hair tied up in a ponytail,she smiled gently, running up and hugging Dave instantly, cuddling up to him, Dave let out a shocked laugh, hugging her back gently and after a few moments of hugging in silence she had let go, turning her attention to the hill, a large gate resided at the bottom of the hill, The fence was iron, fancily presented, it appeared to have been painted black in the past but had now faded and is now rusting, it was an unnerving feeling. looking up the four teenagers overlooked the gloomy castle, it was tall and menacing, it gave off a disturbing aura, this was not a good idea, wind blew softly as they stood there. Unsure of what to think, Jade opens the gate with a loud creak, it was tough to budge but she pushed through and got it opened. Jade cringed slightly at the noise and then turned to the others with a nervous smile, an odd breeze whooshing past them, attempting to shake off her nerves jade challenged,

“I bet I can beat you guys there!”

Rose shook her head, “I’m sure I can beat you instead”

“No you can’t!”

Rose quickly began to make her way up the hill, through the large gate and Jade had followed close behind her, she wasn’t about to lose the race to the top, Dave and John were quickly left behind, both stumbled over themselves to try and get up the hill before them, there was a narrow path leading up to the top of the hill, dead bushes laid on each side, they must have looked amazing back in their glory days, now all they are just a withered skeleton of what once was.

unfortunately For Dave and John, the girls had already beaten them. There were two podiums, they were supposedly statues, but nothing laid atop anymore, they were damaged and broken, whatever happened wasn’t natural. Rose gave Jade a warm smile and hugged her, “Looks like you won, Huh.” She laughed quietly; Jade seemed to react positively to Rose’s energy. John sighed loudly and dramatically, slouching, “that was a One-time victory just so you know.” John smirked before looking up at the looming building, it was huge, dark… it was broken badly, but it appeared to be stable enough to enter, Dave, trying to be a cool dude, decided that he wanted to go first, slowly he made his way up to the door, waiting for the others to follow, which they did almost instantaneously, quietly the four teenagers stood at the porch of the large castle, Dave took a deep breath and pushed the doors open, suddenly a breeze pushed past them, an eerie melody playing in the distance as it began to pour down rain, the cold becoming almost unbearable instantly, they scurried inside the building and shut the door behind them, a click went off as the door locked. Fuck.

A haunting melody… there was something eerie about this place…Confused, the four looked around, bookcases litter the home, everything seems untouched, cobwebs were strung around, dust filling the walls and floor. No one had been here for a very, very long time. Rose, fascinated, began to search the place, heading to the bookcase first, she gently grabbed one of the books and gasped, these books must be hundreds of years old…

“this is incredible! These books...they’re so unique. I’ll have to get to reading them- John would you care to help me sort these out?”

John let out an annoyed groan but went along with it since it was raining hard outside, The sound of the water hitting the ground was almost headache-inducing, as if it were louder than usual, he started to take some books out, making sure to take extra care of them, after all they were fragile. Jade wandered into what seemed to be a living room, papers scattered the ground, dust covering them, they were unreadable, she still decided that she would help clean up the mess anyway, this home was nicely set up and organised, Dave knelt down next to her and picked up some of the paper, only for it to crumble in his hands, “Damn, what the fuck.”  He muttered.                             

"Aw, that’s okay- we should just leave it, maybe touching things isn’t such a good idea right now-“

Dave and Jade both stood up, the melody grew louder, it was an almost sickening feeling. Dave took a step forward and…

[To be continued]

[ezra-blue]

Worst Version - Moonrise over Suburbia

I started writing a fic for Saiyuki AU August, and then I started hating it. So I gave up and wrote a 393 instead. Here’s the first twelve pages of a 353 fake dating AU, unedited.

Moonrise Over Suburbia

It was too damn early. That was what Gojyo hated most about the long hauls; crossing time zones there and back fucked him up something fierce. It was ass-o'fucking-clock, a little past four AM, but his brain said it was seven and time for the morning piss and the first cigarette of the day before he was supposed to be getting back into the cab of his eighteen-wheeler and setting off towards the rising sun. Still, being willing to make the drive from Maine to Oregon, Portland to Portland, kept money in his pockets, kept the lights on and kept the landlord off his ass. Steady pay, not bored during the day, the occasional pretty young thing from the bars that dotted the highway to keep him busy at nights? Pretty ideal, really. He and his best friend-slash-hetero-life-mate had managed on his UPS job and his friend's adjunct professor's salary for this long, so he had nothing to complain about that way.

Really, the only thing he had to worry about tonight was where his next meal was coming from, since Hakkai wasn't home and Gojyo was the kind of chef who could burn stove-top ramen. He didn't even want to think about how terrible he'd be at cooking on two hours of sleep.

Even so, as much as it sucked to be up way earlier than he had to be on his day off, there was something kinda surreal and dreamy about being out on his balcony and watching the pre-dawn August sky, those pale blues and pinks and that hint of orange. It was quiet, damn quiet, not a car on the road and only the rare jogger or dog-walker breaking the abandoned streets of the suburbs at the foot of his apartment building; the neighborhood felt unreal without anyone in it, but it wasn't a bad kind of unreal. The moon was setting in the distance, in the space between the houses and mid-rises across the street, her swollen face, waxing, pale against the misty sky and half-faded, as if she'd never been there at all. Gojyo lit his cigarette against the mirage of the moon and sucked down the first rush of nicotine, easing the crave and relaxing into the way-too-damn-early serenity of a world that hadn't woken up yet.

Life was good.

Then, the door to the neighboring balcony slid open, and Gojyo felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up, readying himself like a referee at the edge of a boxing ring had picked up the hammer next to the bell. Gojyo's neighbor stepped outside with a sigh already on his lips, languid eyes and heavy gaze running over Gojyo in his singlet and boxer shorts as he, already dressed for the day, took his Marlboros from his back pocket.

“You're up early.” He held his smoke out. “Give me a light.”

“What, your lighter out again?” Gojyo held out his Zippo and flicked the wheel. “You think you'd've remembered to keep spares on hand by now, old man.”

He sneered, and if he didn't do that so much, Gojyo thought, he might've been good-looking, but instead Gojyo just found himself having a lot of trouble liking him. “Fuck off, I've been buried under work for the past week while you were fuck-knows-where, running through every damn disposable I had.”

Sanzo was kind of weird like that. He smoked like a car factory, but he insisted on disposable lighters. He claimed to be a Buddhist and meditated in the laundry room (though Gojyo was this side of sure he was just napping), but he was anything but peaceful, swearing at anyone who got on his nerves and cussing out his roommate through the walls. He kept weirder hours than Gojyo, because Gojyo couldn't name a single hour he hadn't heard the guy awake through the walls, though Gojyo, with his broken sleep schedule, had no room to criticize. He was also basically kind of an asshole to everyone for no obvious reason. Gojyo couldn't hate him – even had a grudging respect for someone who lived the way he wanted and unapologetically gave zero fucks – but he made himself hard to like.

“Get a fucking Zippo and a jumbo bottle of lighter fluid, you'll damn near never run out.” Gojyo waited for Sanzo to touch his cigarette to the flame and catch, then tucked it away and returned his attention to his own cigarette as the embers smoldered against his fingers. Sanzo grunted noncommittally.

“Whatever. It'd be less of a pain than talking to you every time I run out, anyway.” Sanzo leaned over the railing of his balcony as he took a drag, looking tired and a little tragic as his focus turned to the sky and the setting moon. “Hell of a time to be up.”

“I just got done with a gig driving all the way East along the Canadian border and back. Five days out of the right time zone kinda fucks a guy up, y'know?”

“You do it to yourself.” Sanzo sneered a bit. “Just turn your alarm off and roll over.”

“Can't do that, princess.” Gojyo wagged his cigarette between his fingers. “Even if the old alarm didn't ring, the internal 'cig time' clock runs smoother than a fake titty in a compression tank top.”

Sanzo gave him a sickly glower. “Every time you make a metaphor like that, I doubt further you've ever seen a breast, let alone touched one.” He snorted and dragged deep on his cigarette, pulling the flame down to the filter fast. Gojyo admired that lung capacity for a second, until Sanzo coughed deep and hard.

“Jeez, you're in a mood this morning. That time of the month already?” Gojyo stubbed the butt of his cigarette into the ashtray Hakkai had put out next to his potted plants (in an effort to keep Gojyo from flicking his butts into the plants, of course), as Sanzo scoffed again, then rubbed at the deep bags under his eyes.

“Fuck you.” He groaned and shook his head, rubbing his fingers against his temples. “Just... I fucking hate summer.”

“The heat get you down?” Gojyo leaned his back against the railing, watching as Sanzo seemed to slump further. He definitely seemed a little more worn-out than usual. “Work a bitch this time of year?” Gojyo wasn't sure what Sanzo did – his roommate, a friendly college student that Gojyo palled around with when he wasn't buried under homework, had mentioned something about stock trading – but he seemed to hate it. Then again, Sanzo seemed to hate damn near everything.

“The fuck do you care for?” The smoke billowing off Sanzo's teeth seemed to come a little fiercer. Gojyo just shrugged.

“I dunno, I can usually hear you bitching through the walls when you're in a shit mood, so maybe I don't need your bleep-box nightmare mouth waking me up when I'm trying to catch up on my Z's. So, spill, maybe wise ol' Gojyo can help.” He turned, wagging an eyebrow at Sanzo with just a little bit of a lascivious grin. Sanzo scoffed again, but then he was quiet, that kind of quiet that said he was thinking. Then, he muttered:

“Is your roommate home? I haven't seen him.”

Gojyo rolled his eyes. “Check your calendar, dipshit. It's the end of August, Professor Hakkai's in the pre-semester crunch doing syllabuses and making up assignments. He left a note to apologize for the empty fridge, so he's probably been living in the teacher's lounge at the university since after I left.”

“Shit.” Sanzo threw his cigarette down and scrubbed his hand down his face. Gojyo raised an eyebrow and tucked his cigarette between his lips as he crossed his arms.

“Okay, what the fuck is up?”

Sanzo grimaced, then slid his fingers open to make a gap over his face and eye contact with Gojyo. “I need a date.”

Gojyo damn near swallowed his cigarette. “What?”

“I. Need. A. Date. You heard me.” Sanzo made a face as he pivoted to face Gojyo. “It's... look, do you have any family?”

Gojyo pulled a face at this. “None worth talking about.”

“Most of the time, me neither. My old man travels the damn world most of the year, but he comes back home for a little bit in the summer, and he always wants to see me when he's home.” Sanzo huffed in disgust. “Even when he's globetrotting, he calls me from wherever the fuck he is, forgetting that time zones are a fucking thing--” Gojyo snorted at the irony, but Sanzo missed it-- “And pisses me off whining about wondering how I'm doing. I decided to get him off my ass by telling him I'd gotten a boyfriend.” Sanzo didn't even give Gojyo a chance to question him, ranting right on, “That way, I could mute my phone and if he asked why I didn't pick up, I could tell him I'd been busy with my boyfriend and he'd be happy for me and maybe fucking call less.”

Gojyo managed to push his jaw shut. “Wait, you're gay?”

“No.” Sanzo glared at Gojyo. “And even if I were, why do you care?”

“Curious, dude. I mean, it's not my thing, but I say live and let live. So, you're not gay but you told your old man--

“If I had to date someone,” Sanzo interrupted, emphasizing the 'if' like it had a two ton weight swinging behind it, “I'd prefer a man. Women annoy me more.”

“Got it.” Gojyo shrugged again. “So, I'm guessing that lie's made its way back around the world to bite you in the ass.”

Sanzo grunted and pinched his temples again. “My dad has invited me to a dinner party. He wants me to introduce him to my boyfriend. The one who doesn't exist.”

Gojyo whistled. “Your mouth wrote you a check your ass can't cash, huh?” He smirked at Sanzo. “Took a withdrawal from the bank of lies and found that interest a little steep?”

“Fuck you, I didn't think you'd be much help anyway.” Sanzo sneered and turned for the door, but Gojyo whistled again to get his attention.

“Hold up, prissy-britches, wait a second. What is it you need?” He paused, putting the pieces together as his brain woke up enough to puzzle out what Sanzo had said. “Wait, were you gonna ask the Prof to be your boyfriend or something?”

Sanzo grumbled something indistinct, but in the pink dawn light, Gojyo realized his ears had gone bright red. “Oh-ho. Oh, Sanzo. That wouldn't'a worked anyway. Prof Hakkai's got this long distance girl – her name's Yaone, she's this medical researcher working in N'Orleans right now, something about frogs – and he Skypes with her every night for like an hour. He wouldn't be caught dead with someone else, since he's got big plans for her when she's done with her assignment.” Sanzo swore softly. “What about Goku?”

“What about Goku? My dad knows him, he'd never believe he and I had gotten together. Plus, I would've just said, 'Goku and I are an item' instead of being as vague as I have.”

“Any reason you couldn't'a just faked it with the kid?” Gojyo wagged his cigarette a little. “Hell, I hear about folks our age just getting married to our buddies for the tax benefits and getting a no-fault divorce when the real deal comes along.” Sanzo huffed with annoyance, shoulders sinking, but he waved his cigarette hand around as if to wipe away the very notion.

“It's complicated. I'm not getting into that with him. Either way, my dad wouldn't buy it.”

“Fine.” Gojyo knew how loaded a word like 'complicated' was when it came to love stuff, family stuff, stuff he usually tried not to fuck with. “And I'm guessing, given your glowing personality and natural charm, you've got plenty of friends who'd be willing to play the role for a night.”

“Fuck you.”

Sanzo blinked a few times as if someone had snapped a flash photo and he had to clear away the fuzz. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, you need a fake boyfriend, I got spare time and a dick, I could play the part."

"Not a chance." Sanzo sneered, lip curling. "I'm not your type."

"You sure about that?" Gojyo grinned coyly and swaggered up to the railing, keeping the bars between him and Sanzo but leaning over them to smirk at him. "That might even work better for ya. Your old man'll be able to tell we're not a good couple, so if you do find someone you actually wanna hook up with, he'll totally understand when you break up with me."

The fact that Sanzo just raised an eyebrow rather than throwing back a nasty retort told Gojyo that he might have just said the magic words. "And what do you get out of it?"

"Dinner, duh." Gojyo thumbed over his shoulder. "Told ya, the Prof's out, and I probably won't see him 'til the crunch is over and the semester starts. You said this was a dinner, that means free food and you can filch me some leftovers, and I don't have to live on Mickey D's for however the fuck long Hakkai's out of the house." Gojyo paused. "Alright, and if I gotta sweeten my own deal, you gotta bring me some breakfast or something."

Sanzo scowled his irritation, but he put his face close to Gojyo's. "Can you pretend to enjoy kissing me?"

"Only if you can." As if to test it, Gojyo tilted his head to kiss Sanzo on the mouth, but Sanzo evaded.

"No dress rehearsals. Fuck. Fine." Sanzo pivoted around, shoving his sliding door open. "Be ready to go at five, we gotta drive there. Wear a tie, if you own one." He slammed the door shut behind him (as hard as one could slam a glass sliding door), and Gojyo blew a smoke ring at his back.

“Well, whatever.” He had dinner set for the night, anyway, and it was something different to do on his day off.

Life was strange, but alright. Gojyo watched the moon sink a little lower as he finished his smoke, and resolved to try to get a little more sleep. He wanted to be awake enough to watch Sanzo squirm tonight.

--------------------------

Sanzo at first seemed surprised when Gojyo pushed open the front door of their apartment building, eyes a little wide as he strolled down the sidewalk towards the curb and Sanzo's stark white Equus (nice car, Gojyo thought, for someone who never leaves the house). "Hey," he hailed Sanzo with a wave and a wink, and Sanzo just scoffed and flapped a hand back, but Gojyo didn't miss the way Sanzo's gaze swiped his body. Gojyo had dug out the black silk shirt and a white straight tie, the stuff he saved for nights at swanky clubs near the college, and now Sanzo was staring at him with what sure smelled like jealousy. Gojyo made sure to pass him just close enough that he could smell his cologne and the cigarettes on his collar; after all, even if he was just playing at being Sanzo's boyfriend, Sanzo's dad might as well think he was a catch, or at least sexy, and it'd be nice if Sanzo would acknowledge that he was making an effort. Sanzo sniffed the air a little, though Gojyo couldn't be sure if it was attraction or derision. Gojyo walked a short circle around the car so Sanzo could see just how damn good his ass looked in dark wash jeans, but also so he could check out the ride – it was an older car, but it looked damn sharp, so either Sanzo took good care of it or never drove it. "She's nice."

"She?"

"Cars are ladies, doncha know?" Gojyo winked, then leaned against the hood. "So, you ready to roll?"

Sanzo pulled a face, brow quirking, mouth twitching back with annoyance. "Yeah, fine." He took a cigarette out of his sport coat's inner pocket and lit up as he circled to the driver's side. His focus glanced off of Gojyo again as Gojyo cracked open the passenger side door. "You look presentable."

That was the closest thing Gojyo'd ever heard to a compliment coming out of Sanzo. He just chuckled and slicked his fingers back through his hair. "Well, when I'm not bound for sixteen hours in my cab by my lonesome, I make a little more effort. Thanks."

"Hm." Sanzo's focus flitted away, eyes dodging down, and Gojyo realized Sanzo actually, seriously thought he looked good. He smirked to himself, cocksure and proud, as he settled into the cushy seat of Sanzo's little luxury sedan and threw his safety belt on.

Sanzo drove like he was daring the cops to pull him over, using his turn signals like insults rather than indicators. Gojyo found himself gripping the “oh-shit” handle for most of the ride and watching the streets fly past the window as they veered from the outskirts of Portland, circumvented the city, and sped towards Five Corners. Gojyo was familiar with the area, he'd driven local deliveries through here. He recognized the exits and turns towards a particularly nice slice of the suburbs north and east of West Hill, the kind of place where he ended up dropping off a lot of luxury brand packages in December.

Not surprising. If Sanzo's dad had the assets to travel the world, it made sense he had it in him to own a house in a nice area. Sanzo seemed like he came from a good place, though Gojyo got the sense that something had happened that had made him turn out rotten. Kids who came from good homes seemed to have the biggest problems. Gojyo had found that folks with money too often substituted cash for decent morals and common sense. Not that broke kids didn't have their problems too, but everyone knew about those already, so they were hardly worth whining about.

The sun was just starting to sink behind the mountain when they pulled up to a mid-sized Victorian-style house in the middle of a winding, tree-lined road, but instead of the manicured lawn and designer garden he expected, the grass was long and wild, the roses were growing up the brick and stone columns like trellises, and most of the windows were draped with ivy, bedecked with living greenery like Christmas tinsel. The lights were on, glowing gold onto the other cars parked out front, and Sanzo groaned as he pushed the clasp on his seat belt loose. “Fuck, he invited the whole crew.”

“The whole crew?” Gojyo repeated, fumbling off the last of his terror at the last abrupt, screeching turn onto the driveway, fingers shaking just a little, but he got out and shook himself off. The yard was quiet, with only a faint hum of noise and music from the house proper. Sanzo shook his head with disgust.

“He invited all of his friends from work, from before he retired.” He slapped the cars as he strolled past them. “Glasses guy, Fey guy, the Colonel, Big guy, Shouty guy, Quiet guy, Baldy One and Baldy Two...”

Gojyo frowned and followed a step behind. “They, uh, got names?”

“Sure, but I don't bother remembering them. I see them once a year, less if I had any say in it.” Sanzo scoffed, shaking his head as he went, but Gojyo caught him shoot a truly venomous look at a black sports car parked in front of the driveway. “And of course, that prick is here. I'd hoped the old man would've pushed him off a boat by now.”

Gojyo raised an eyebrow at that, but didn't ask. He had a feeling he'd find out who 'that prick' was soon enough.

Sanzo loped to the front door, shaking his shoulders out like he was limbering up for a boxing match, then rang the bell and rapped his fist on the door twice. Gojyo felt Sanzo's tension around him like static electricity as the chime reverberated into silence, until the door opened to a mild-looking man in a colorful knee-length jacket, his long hair in a braid cast over his shoulder and a pipe between his fingers. He threw his arms open, beaming. “Kouryuu, there you are!”

Sanzo reluctantly trudged forward and let the man fold his arms around him. Gojyo even caught a glimpse of a begrudging smile. “Father. I've asked you to call me Genjo instead of that babyish nickname.”

“It's not babyish, it's what I've always called you!” Sanzo's father patted his back a few times before releasing him, only to hold him at arm's length. “And you'll always be my baby, you know.” He turned to Gojyo, and spoke to him with the familiarity as if he'd known him for years. “Has he told you about how I adopted him? All my old friends were stunned, they didn't think a man like me could be a parent, but this one falls into my lap and--”

“Father, you should really introduce yourself before you start telling embarrassing old stories about me.” Sanzo was visibly tense now, and Gojyo couldn't help but chuckle to himself.

“Hey, he told me it'd been a while since you've seen each other, I can't blame ya for being eager.” Gojyo loosened to a casual slouch and swaggered a half step in. “Name's Gojyo. I''m the guy who's been taking care of your boy these last – how many months, babe?”

The look of pure relief on Sanzo's face was immensely satisfying. “Ten.”

“Ten months, but who's counting, right?” Gojyo extended a hand. “It's nice to meet you, sir.”

“Oh, he calls me 'sir,'” Sanzo's father laughed, but he clasped both hands around Gojyo's and shook it vigorously. “I'm Koumyou Sanzo, his father. So tell me, is his butt as cute as it was when he was little?”

Gojyo nearly choked on his own tongue trying not to laugh right there, as Sanzo turned a shade of crimson Gojyo could only compare to steakhouse ketchup. “Father!”

“He hasn't showed me baby pictures,” Gojyo demurred, winking at Sanzo again. “But let's see what the night brings, you know?”

Koumyou chortled, obviously delighted, but waved the pair of them past. “Oh, Genjo, he's funny. I like him!”

“He's unique.” Sanzo eyed Gojyo with just a hint of malice, and Gojyo put on a sheepish grin. “He's never boring, anyway.”

“I'm just glad I can make you laugh, babe.” Gojyo motioned for Sanzo to go first, as Sanzo shot him one quick glare and moved past him.

So far, so good.

Koumyou led them into a room near the entrance, but before Gojyo could even get a look around, a cheer rose through the room.

“There he is!”

“The prodigal son!”

“The famous son,” someone else laughed back, and Gojyo finally got a look around. Koumyou kept it colorful, the walls beige but decorated with ornate, colorful paintings – Klimt, van Gogh, Degas, and framed posters from art galleries advertising exhibitions from around the world – and his table was just as colorful. The centerpiece of the room, the dinner spread over the long low table, was of covered dishes in purples and crimsons and greens over a tablecloth with a technicolor geometric pattern. All the guests were seated on silk patterned cushions on their knees similar in pattern to Koumyou's jacket, and all of them were waving to Genjo as he slouched in the aperture between the foyer and dining room.

“It's...” Gojyo could feel Sanzo's tension in the hum of his hesitation and patted his back, and Sanzo seemed to remember that he should finish his sentence. “Nice to see you all again.”

“Liar,” one man near the head of the table, a man closer to Sanzo's age than to Koumyou's with shaggy dark hair, chuckled, and Sanzo's gaze snapped to him. “Imagine,” he went on, dark eyes gleaming in the yellow light of the chandelier, “Koumyou putting the poor antisocial boy through his paces again.”

Sanzo bristled, and jerked his shoulder to shake Gojyo's hand off. “It's been too long, Jianyi.”

“He lies again.” The dark-haired man, Jianyi apparently, laughed, and elbowed at the man next to him, who actually gave him a rather irritated look back.

“Will you be nice to your boyfriend's son?” He was an odd-looking fellow, with a classic Mandarin hairstyle, all the hair shaved but for a braid, and a mustache, and when he stood, Gojyo realized he was a little person. He circled the table and came to stand in front of Sanzo, then bowed. “You're looking well, Genjo.”

“Genkai.” Sanzo actually bowed back. “It's good to see you again.”

“Now he means it,” a man with hair dyed purple giggled (Fey guy, though his voice was rougher than his rather feminine features suggested), and Baldy One and Baldy Two on either side of him both smiled, One reluctantly and Two wryly, before Fey guy cupped a hand. “Genjo, introduce the beefcake!”

All eyes were on him now. Gojyo keenly felt Jianyi's stare, as Sanzo motioned to him. “Everyone, Gojyo. We've been seeing each other ten months.”

“Nice find!” A guy wearing a canvas military cap, who was a little younger and a little thicker than the others (Gojyo was guessing that was the Big guy), hooted, and the Colonel (the white beard and mustache were a dead giveaway) chuckled into his hand.

“Gojyo, Genjo, please, sit, make yourself comfortable! Where did that Father of yours get to?”

“He can't have gone far.” Genkai eased back and motioned to the two empty cushions near the center of the table. “We were all just catching up. All boring old man stuff, of course. What have you been up to?”

With that, Genkai ushered Sanzo to sit, and Gojyo sat beside him on his knees, and Sanzo was dragged into the typical inane conversation of catching up with someone one hadn't seen in a while. Gojyo found out a little about Sanzo, at least: he was a straight-up New York City stock trader, working (remotely) on Eastern Standard Time from the nine A.M. opening bell (six A.M., Gojyo did the math in his head with a quick wince) until closing. Explained why he was always awake when Gojyo's schedule was fucked, anyway. It also explained why he seemed to be such a recluse, or at least how he could stay in the apartment all day and still make a decent living. Gojyo couldn't help but figure the why from Sanzo's terse reactions every time he got a question from another direction, eyes briefly widening a little bit every time someone asked about the next big trend, stock advice, buy or sell on this or that, and turning faintly scarlet whenever Fey guy or Big guy made some wink and nod joke about him being “kept busy” and winking at Gojyo.

Koumyou rejoined the party just as Baldy Two was pushing Sanzo about Apple stock, bearing a covered dish. “My, my, you've all started the festivities without me!”

“We couldn't help ourselves,” Jianyi chuckled, edging over to widen the gap beside him. Gojyo immediately felt his attention snap to the guy, because for some reason, Gojyo had gotten a bad vibe off of him, and not just from Sanzo's reaction to his prodding, or that of the other ten men in the room every time he'd made some mutter Gojyo couldn't hear or make out. It was that 'not-safe' feeling he got when he pulled into truck stops that told him his shit would get stolen out of the cab if he so much as stopped for a piss break there, or when he passed over lot lizards that he just knew would give him syphilis if he so much as looked at her twice without a condom on. He had sort of a sense for trouble like that, it came with living like he did. Jianyi seemed either blissfully unaware of everyone else's disdain or wholly unperturbed by it, but that was just as off-putting as the initial sense Gojyo got, and just as eerie as the smile Jianyi put on when Koumyou sat down beside him and put the dish in the rest of the spread. "Can we serve now?"

"Oh, yes, yes, please!" Koumyou motioned up with both hands, indicating for everyone to lift the covers, before turning his smile towards Gojyo. "And if you don't know what something is, please ask!"

Gojyo suddenly felt eyes on him, and plastered on a self-conscious smile. "Food's food, right? I'm sure I can figure it out."

There was a round of soft chuckling and stifled laughter around the table, as Sanzo muttered, "You happen to be at a table with eleven world-travelers, each of whom brought a dish from a part of the world they have been to over the last year. I guarantee you I'll only be guessing at half of what's on this table, but I have no food allergies or sensitivities and I'm not picky. Just ask if you're not sure."

"I'm not picky either," Gojyo countered quickly, choosing not to volunteer that he'd eaten maggots before just so nobody could press him about the context. "Uh, but excluding us, I counted twelve, so--"

"I can't cook," Koumyou volunteered sheepishly. "However, I got a friend in town to dress a lamb leg in the Turkish style, and while I wouldn't know what to do with it myself, I can set an oven and carve meat off the bone."

"With some help." Nii winked at him, and Gojyo heard Fey guy make a disgusted noise.

"Can we just eat already?" He lowered his voice to a mutter and added, "Before I lose my appetite."

The plates were lifted, to an outcry of excitement from all sides but Sanzo and Jianyi, and though Gojyo didn't say a word, he didn't recognize half of what was on the table. Instead, Gojyo took the first thing he could identify (a hearty slice of that lamb leg Koumyou had brought in) and sniffed every plate as it came past him. He began to pick up on what was what – those funny green egg rolls were grape leaves stuffed with mushrooms and onions, the white pasta with big meatballs was a Vietnamese pork meatball over rice noodles, that wasn't ham wrapped around melon but prosciutto and it was popular in Spain, those crispy things were deep-fried lotus root – and luckily, it all smelled amazing.

“Man, this is better than going to a buffet,” he remarked as he passed a platter of black eggs that smelled of oranges and spice to Baldy Two on his left, to a few chuckles from nearby.

“It's fun,” Genkai said from his place, smiling peaceably. “We all get together to share where we've been, and bring a little of it with us.”

“A fine meal is a fleeting pleasure, but one best enjoyed in good company.” Koumyou lifted a teacup, and many of the others followed suit with water or wine glasses. "Cheers. I'm glad to see you all again."

There were answers of "Cheers," and murmurs of agreement, before Koumyou turned to Genkai. "You said you brought dolmas, old friend? How did Greece treat you?"

"Better than its citizens, sadly." Genkai smiled wryly. "Even despite its current troubles, Athens is still beautiful. I admit I spent longer in Germany this year, but, well... I suppose I was thinking of Goudai."

Jianyi pulled a face behind his wine glass, as Koumyou sighed. "It's still fresh for me, too. He would have loved them, you did a fantastic job."

"Goudai," Sanzo said, in a voice meant for Gojyo, "was an old friend of my father's who passed a few years ago."

"I think we all miss my old mentor." All eyes shot to Jianyi with irritation when he spoke over his folded hands and tented fingers. "Even so, I imagine he'd be loathe to think of us all moping about him now, wouldn't you agree, Genjo?" His dark eyes glimmered with mischief, and he failed to disguise a smirk. Sanzo snorted and turned his attention to his plate, but Gojyo felt compelled to say something:

"He'd probably be glad you all thought of him, anyway. It's nice to remember folks who're gone, not for them, but for you, y'know? Those good memories are still good." He picked up one of the fried lotus root chips with his fingers, imitating Baldy One across the table, as Genkai cracked a little smile.

"You speak like someone who's lost someone dear to you, but with the strength to remember them fondly. Admirable, in a boy your age."

“Well, we can't all be worldly little monks, can we?” Jianyi tossed his head back and laughed. Genkai flushed, but Gojyo brushed it off as if he hadn't spoken.

“Oh, you're a monk, are you? Like, what kind?”

“Holy Land Buddhist,” Koumyou and Sanzo both answered.

“It's how we met.” Koumyou nudged Genkai with his hand. “All of us were students of Buddhism under a wise teacher, and we became a social group outside of meditation sessions and sutra readings.”

“With one notable exception.” Fey guy was glaring daggers at Jianyi again, who was much more interested in the bottom of his wine glass.

“Guilty as charged.” Jianyi put his glass down and put it towards the center of the table, and Koumyou took up the canter and refilled it. “I was actually an apprentice under dear deceased Goudai, and got pulled in by him.”

“I think he thought we would be good influences.” Baldy One smirked a bit, then tucked a whole shumai into his mouth. “Mmh, Excellent, Jyoan.”

“Thank you.” Fey guy smirked like a satisfied cat, then glanced sideways to Gojyo. “So, aside from our odd man out, we all came up together.”

"We're all relatively faithful, though I admit Koumyou's, er, non-traditional." The Colonel chuckled, as Koumyou flapped a hand.

"I live my own way, and I don't think I've hurt anyone so far." He winked at Sanzo. "I'm not so bad, am I?"

"Yeah, yeah. Do as you please, as long as you don't hurt anyone," Sanzo muttered, stabbing at the dolmas piled on his plate.

"That's the Hippocratic oath, Genjo." Jianyi wagged a finger. "And really, Seiran knows more about that." Baldy Two snorted, and Gojyo could have sworn he muttered something like:

"Keep my name off your lips."

"You're a doctor?" Gojyo asked, before Jianyi could engage a second further. Baldy Two raised a brow, then nodded.

"Myself and Soujin both." He motioned to the Colonel. "I've been researching methods for recovering from brain damage post-trauma and seizures."

"Pediatrics, with Médecins Sans Frontières. It seemed a natural progression after being in the Marines, to me, anyway!" The Colonel chuckled again, stroking his beard (or maybe wiping a little of that white yogurt sauce out of it, there was a reason Gojyo didn't like beards much). "Perhaps our new guest deserves a bit more explanation."

“Oh, right. Genjo likely didn't tell him about all of his uncles.” Fey guy sneered a bit, but smirked at Gojyo. “I'm an anthropologist and writer. I've been examining some non-conforming villages in China. Do you know there are subcultures wherein marriage isn't practiced? At all?”

“We can talk studies later.” Glasses guy adjusted his spectacles, but Gojyo could feel him examining him under the wire rims. “I'm a reporter. My forte is in covering disasters, though I admit I don't care for it nearly as much as covering the recovery.”

With that, everyone around the table gave his profession. Big Guy was a food writer who traveled the world writing about unique cuisines for a major food magazine Gojyo had never heard of, Baldy One taught English in underprivileged remote Japanese villages, Shouty guy paused briefly in devouring from some Thai-fried rice to explain that he was a soccer coach. Every one of these men touched ground in multiple countries a year, and the hosts were no exception, just like Sanzo had said.

“I'm a curator for the International Foundation for Art research.” Koumyou beamed and gestured to some of the posters. “They trust my instincts enough to let me choose where to search, and I find pieces and build exhibitions for museums around the world.”

“His taste is world-renowned.” Jianyi gave Koumyou a rather heated look and a smirk that wasn't entirely sarcastic, which only put the needles a little deeper under Gojyo's skin. “Even I can admit some of his collections are unique in ways hard to put into words.”

“Which says something, though I'm not certain what.” Koumyou giggled softly, and Gojyo saw Sanzo wince as he stroked his fingers down his arm.

[winterromanov]

high voltage in her lips [bechloe fic, part 2/?]

read part one here | on ao3

Beca wakes up to two bright blue eyes staring right at her from the side of the bed.

“Dude!” she exclaims, pulling her duvet tight around her, “What the fuck?”

Chloe smiles like it’s a totally normal thing for her to be doing. To. You know. Just be watching her sleep. “Good morning, sunshine.”

Beca rubs her eyes and her hands are streaked with black from last night’s mascara. She can feel the hangover thrumming at the back of her brain, her mouth dry and tasting faintly of wine she doesn’t remember drinking. “How long have you been perving on me?”

“Not long,” Chloe chirps. It’s then that she realises that Chloe is completely put together, like they weren’t screaming on a dancefloor just a few hours previously, hyped up on Sambuca shots. Her hair is newly washed and blow-dried and her face is bare, yet somehow still flawless, freckles dusted across her cheekbones. She’s wearing a neat top-and-skirt combo. Beca’s still wearing her clothes from last night. “Your ass was drunker than mine so I put you up in the spare room.”

Beca properly looks around the room, finally realising she’s not in her own flat—it’s way too clean and ordered, with a floral colour scheme that’s been carefully designed rather than thrown on the walls last minute. The duvet smells like honeysuckle. God, it couldn’t be more Chloe Beale.

“Thanks. Sorry to, uh, put you out?”

“Not a problem,” Chloe grins. She stands from her position crouching by Beca’s bedside, rubbing her hands together. “I’ve left you a coffee and some aspirin. I’ve got a meeting in the city so I’ve got to head out, but feel free to use the shower and stuff before you go. The door locks on its own so don’t worry about leaving it open or anything.”

Damn, this bitch is organised. Beca stretches out and tries to put together memories from last night—it’s all pretty vague, glimpses of fire-red hair and intense music, Amy running over before they leave and telling her that some dude called Juan was taking her to the Bahamas for a bit so not to wait up for her—

Okay, so she’s going to have to handle that at some point, but that point doesn’t have to be now, right?

“I had a great night last night, by the way,” Chloe says, smiling, “You’re great fun. I haven’t let loose like that in a while.”

It would help if Beca could actually remember clearly what exactly happened last night, but the sentiment warms her anyway. She smiles back, genuinely, vaguely recalling how her heart thudded like it was about to break out her ribcage. “I had a great time too. As far as I’m aware I didn’t leave with a minor assault charge, so. A win?”

Chloe giggles. She does that a lot. Giggling. Beca’s never giggled. It doesn’t match her image. “Definitely a win. I’d like to do it again sometime.”

“Well, we’re going to be spending the next three months on tour together,” Beca says, still not quite believing it. “I’m sure I’ll be able to haul you off the rails at least once in that time period. If your manager doesn’t kill me first.”

“Aubrey doesn’t control everything about my life, as much as she’d like to. I make my own decisions.”

“Awesome,” Beca replies. Her eyes linger on the coffee Chloe’s thoughtfully left out for her and it stings, a little, because it reminds her of stupid Jesse and the stupidly Nice Things he used to do for her. And maybe Chloe is another Nice Person she doesn’t deserve in her life. It’s why she hasn’t fired Amy yet. She’s just as fucked up as Beca is.

“I’m going to head off,” Chloe says, making her way towards the bedroom door, “So I’ll see you later?”

“Sure.”

She flashes Beca one last smile before disappearing, and Beca’s touched that the girl seems to trust her enough to leave her alone in her apartment after meeting her once. It’s a naïve choice, perhaps, but sweet all the same. She reaches out and takes a swig of the rapidly cooling coffee and pops two of the aspirin then just sits, wrapped up in the duvet, everything silent other than the hum of the air conditioning.

Yeah, she’s still not sure how this whole tour thing will work, but she kind of wants it to work? And maybe that’s the point.

-x-

THE PRINCESS AND THE REBEL – CHLOE BEALE AND BECA MITCHELL SPOTTED IN DOWNTOWN LA

Los Angeles seems to be the hotbed of the billboard’s newest collaborations, a factory of number one hits and Grammy awards—but a sighting of two of music’s seemingly polar opposites has us here at Glitz dot com totally stumped. That’s right. Notorious bad girl Beca Mitchell (of Where Do You Go? fame) and pop’s hottest starlet Chloe Beale were papped together outside the Luna club last night, looking very comfortable in each other’s company indeed.

It’s true that there’s been a small fanbase on social media hoping that the pair would eventually collaborate, but it hardly felt like a realistic goal. After all, Mitchell’s just dodged another felony whilst Beale is climbing to the top of her game. Their interests don’t seem to overlap, but there’s definitely a friendship we’ve never heard about there.

Whether this club night is just two friends meeting up or the beginning of a potential collaboration, it has got us pretty excited. Mitchell’s sultry, no-nonsense sound mixing with Beale’s simultaneously romantic and empowering girl-power anthems will be a guaranteed eargasm which we’re TOTALLY here for. But—it begs the question whether these two artists will actually be good for each other. It’s no secret that Mitchell’s been a bit off the rails recently while Beale is pristine, role-model material; will Beca drag Chloe down or will Chloe bring Beca back up again? Only time will tell.

Keep up to date with everything Beca Mitchell and Chloe Beale by following us on twitter: @glitzmag

ARTICLE BY DAISY FULLERTON

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“Hey bitch! You’ve reached Fat Amy, only you haven’t reach Fat Amy, because I’m totally boning a really hot Spanish dude in the Bahamas right now while drinking a shit ton of Tequila Sunrises. Sooooo… Leave a message if you want, but I probably won’t get back to you for several days if it all. Adios!”

“For fuck’s sake, Amy, you are literally the worst manager ever and I’m firing you as soon as your ass is back in LA. Ok. So. There’s been some—articles, which I’m sure you’ve seen, because despite never answering my calls you’ve uploaded about sixty videos to your snapchat story of you on a speedboat, you monster. Anyway. I’m sick of the media painting me as some fucking criminal out-to-corrupt-your-children type when I’m really not, and yes I do have a tattoo I got when I was off my face on pot but that was years ago and really, that’s literally the only regrettable thing I’ve done that wasn’t a product of you. Please just tell someone, anyone, that I’m actually pretty rad and I’m probably not going to drag Chloe Beale’s impeccable reputation through the trash. As my manager that would literally be the bare minimum you could do for me right now. You’re an asshole. Ciao.”

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queenbeale just uploaded a photo to Instagram

got to hang out with the amazing @becamitchell on Saturday!! can’t wait to tell you guys what we’ve got in store for y’all xx

chloebealer commented: oh my god???? OH MY GOD???

jaydababe34 commented: MY TWO FAVES ARE UNITED I’M SCREAMING

chloefan789 commented: not sure how this will work… I’m not a beca mitchell fan at all

becamitchell commented: I look so drunk in this photo and I hate you for uploading it :)

queenbeale commented: @becamitchell you look like a dream

madisonbealer commented: @queenbeale @becamitchell *whispers* GAYYYYYYY

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It takes another two weeks of meetings and contracts and publicity before the tour dates are released to the public. They’re visiting thirty-two cities across North America in the space of two and a half months: it’s wild on a scale Beca’s never seen before. Yeah, she’s had three tours across the same area in the past, but the venues were smaller and not so extensive, and not all of the dates were sold out. The tickets for this tour sell out in a grand total of eleven minutes.

The tour also generates a tidal wave of interest across every single internet platform available. Her old songs are repeated alongside Chloe’s on the radio, her follower count on Instagram sky-rockets and their names are trending on Twitter. The last time Beca saw her name in that bar was when she was arrested for the coke incident (fuck you, Amy). And the support, surprisingly, is unreal. Like the unsavoury articles that emerged after she was papped outside Luna with Chloe earlier in the month, she’d expected people talking shit about her past, wondering if Beca’s razor sharp edges would rip Chloe to shreds—but there’s been an overwhelming amount of positivity, like the curiosity of what they could produce together overshadows what could potentially go wrong.

Her return to mainstream media ends up alerting people she thought she’d left in the past of her presence again, but she’s still surprised when Jesse ends up leaving her a voicemail on the Thursday after the announcement. It’s been five months of total radio silence between them. She’d kind of anticipated that it would be longer than that. After all, she did end a seven-year relationship on his fucking birthday, which she’d completely forgotten about.

Maybe she does owe him one.

Beca meets him for lunch in a small restaurant a twenty minute walk from her apartment—a neat, little kitschy place she doesn’t often visit, but they serve ciabatta and paninis and squashy cooked tomatoes still on the vine, and that’s the kind of thing Jesse loves. She gets there fifteen minutes early but of course he’s already there, sat on the long bench by the window and overlooking the street. She pretends she hasn’t seen him from the outside, even though he’d clocked her half a block away.

He still looks the same. Clean-shaven, dark hair cropped, clean t shirt and pants and sneakers like they’d never been worn before. He leaps off his stool nervously when the door shuts behind her.

Oh. Wow. She’s never known Jesse to be nervous before. He’s usually annoyingly confident. All through high school she’d hidden behind his infectious smile. At least the last two months have allowed her to just be her, even if that means she’s been stuck in a fucking prison cell once or twice. Or thrice.

“Becs,” he says breathlessly, taking her in. She half-smiles tightly. “Hey. How are you?”

“Oh, you know,” Beca shrugs, pulling her bag strap tighter around her shoulder. She’s nervous too. “Not in prison, depressed or dying, so not all bad. You?”

Jesse relaxes and his mouth softens. She’s still the same old Beca. “Same. It’s…uh, it’s been a while.”

“It has.”

“I kept meaning to… well, call, I guess, but I didn’t know if you wanted me to. In the end I just bit the bullet.”

“It’s cool. We both needed space.” Beca drops her bag on the floor and jumps onto a barstool and he copies, their seats inches apart yet somehow miles away. It’s weird, considering how close they used to be. Used to be. “For the record… I kept meaning to call too. But I didn’t know if you wanted to hear from me.”

Jesse smiles, biting his lip, before looking back up at her. “I always want to hear from you. I think that was probably the issue.”

He’s not wrong, he’s really not, because Beca’s terrible at keeping up with messages and most of the time just didn’t bother replying, leaving his I love you’s on read and not giving it a second thought. She didn’t think that would hurt him for some reason, even though she’s well aware that Jesse’s actually a good, thoughtful person who cares about her and wouldn’t mind some of that care back. It was alright when they were in high school and when they regularly shared an apartment because she’d always be there in person to offer that reassurance. That wasn’t so easy when she was away on tour.

And it broke him. But it broke her a long time before that. Believe it or not, she’s not totally emotionally void.

Jesse grabs them both coffees and ham paninis and they sit in silence for a bit, looking out across the city; the one she’d forgotten they shared. He takes a deep breath before talking. “I saw you were going on tour. With Chloe Beale. That’s amazing, Beca.”

“Yeah. It’s pretty cool. The management is manic, but. I’m glad to be out there again.”

Jesse takes a sip of coffee. “Does that mean there’s going to be some new music out soon?”

Beca withholds an eye roll, because that’s been the question on everybody’s lips—Chloe’s on a high from a newly released number one album and she’s still utterly clueless, wondering if she can get away with singing mostly her old stuff on the tour. It begins in less than six months. That’s not enough time to write, produce and release at least ten songs worth of new material, especially seeing as the deterioration of her last relationship and moving out and all that stress hasn’t been particularly good for her creativity. “Probably not. Song-writing is apparently not my forte anymore.”

“Well, you never know. You might find some inspiration soon. I know you, Becs. You just pull amazing tracks out of thin air like it’s nothing.”

She raises an eyebrow sceptically. “As much as I appreciate you massaging my ego, that doesn’t really help me right now.”

“I’m not worried,” Jesse says calmly, “I once watched you write a whole album while high, remember?”

“Your Love Fucking Sucks Balls, Dude?” Beca says, and Jesse laughs, clinging onto the bar for support. “Yeah, somehow I don’t think that’s going to be breaking the billboard top one hundred. Yet… stellar tracks like I Really Like Your Dick and Smash Me Good might be my only hope. Like, if I go another year without making music my label might drop me, even with the tour, so…” Beca doesn’t want this to turn into a pity party so she turns, resting her chin in her palm, back to Jesse. “What have you been up to? Anything exciting? Scored any Oscar-noms?”

Jesse laughs with an eyeroll, looking down into his coffee cup. “I wish. No, still doing ad work, but you never know. As soon as Pixar put an ad up for a composer on Craigslist, I’m there.” He pauses. Drums his fingers on the tabletop. Beca knows what’s coming. “Look, Becs—“

“No, Jesse.”

“No, no,” Jesse shakes his head, “No, this isn’t… I don’t want to get back together.”

Well, that’s a relief. She can feel her stomach shift back to its normal location. “Oh. Okay. Good.”

“This is more about… It is about me and you, but five months without you in my life has been hell, Beca. We were together for seven years. That doesn’t just fall away into nothing, even if the romance isn’t there anymore.” He coughs, clearly nervous. “I still love you. Of course I do. And I want you to be happy, like, more than anything in the world. And I know you’re not going to be happy with me, and that’s fine. But I’d still like to be part of your life.”

Oh. His sincerity stuns her, for a second, because maybe this is the kind of reaction she should’ve expected all along.

“We don’t have to talk every day. We don’t even have to talk regularly. I’d just like to be, you know—someone who is there for you. Your friend Jesse who just so happens to be your ex. We can grab dinner when our schedules don’t clash and watch movies and maybe text every so often. Or we don’t. Whatever. Just… I don’t want to lose you, Becs.”

She smiles, suddenly nostalgic for a time when everything was easy: when Jesse would pick her up from work in his beat-up Civic and he’d leave stupid romantic notes in her locker (which she definitely didn’t keep in a scrapbook under her bed, by the way) and they’d drink lukewarm cider and make out under the stars on the football field. It was all achingly simple back then.

But then she thinks of her life now, and how slowly and surely it’s coming back together, and how most of the time she doesn’t miss Jesse’s beat-up civic and his stupid romantic notes and the lukewarm cider, although she does kind of miss the making out and she does kind of miss him. He’s proposing a zero-commitment friendship, a no string attached deal, someone she can turn to and will always be there.

Like the tour, she’s not really in a position to turn it down.

“Sure,” she smiles, “But no movies. I’ve not got girlfriend status anymore, so you can’t force me to watch fucking Star Trek—“

“Star Wars, Beca, I’ve got no interest in Star Trek whatsoever.”

“Okay, weirdo, Star Wars. Whatever. But the point still stands. I’m under no obligation to sit through your ridiculous commentaries.”

“That’s cool,” Jesse nods, “I’m not saying it’s going to happen, but that’s cool. And anyway. I don’t actually want you to be my friend. I just want you to fill me in on every single detail about what Chloe Beale is actually like. Does she really own a poodle that’s naturally fluorescent pink?”

-x-

BECA MITCHELL SPOTTED WITH OLD FLAME AND EX LONG TERM BOYFRIEND JESSE SWANSON – IS ROMANCE BACK ON THE CARDS?

-x-

“Beca, I really don’t want to intrude, but I’ve seen those pics on twitter of you and your ex-boyfriend,” Chloe rubs her hands excitedly, “And are you, like, back together? Because that guy is a total cutie.”

Beca’s not actually seen Chloe beyond a professional capacity for over two weeks as their schedules are so hectic, but the girl texts like she’s running out of time and for some reason, she actually replies to her strings of emojis and exclamation marks? In addition, her lengthy paragraphs of information are usually incredibly intrusive, so it comes clear to Beca that Chloe doesn’t really have any boundaries or filter when it comes to asking the potentially difficult questions.

“Oh, no,” Beca answers straight up, her reflection staring back at her. She hisses in pain as the hairdresser burns her scalp with the curling iron, who then hastily apologises. “No, no, no. That’s definitely not a thing that’s happening.”

Beca’s sure that Chloe looks pleased, which sets off some weird emotions, but she somehow manages to fight the blush taking over her cheeks. “What happened there, if you don’t mind me asking? Your Wikipedia said you’d been together for, like, seven years. Which is a pretty long time.”

The shameless way Chloe admits she’s definitely stalked her ass online is actually kind of funny but Beca doesn’t laugh, because maybe then she’d be forced to admit that she’s done the same thing. The hairdresser—who is called Katie, or Kathy, or something, Beca’s not that good with names—wraps another one of her locks tight, like she’s going to pull it clean off her scalp. “It’s—really not exciting. We’d been together since high school. He went to UCLA while I tried to break onto the music scene and when I did we kind of just… drifted apart.”

(She was also an utter ass about it, but this is not something she’s going to admit while sober.)

“Oh. That’s sad.” Chloe smiles sympathetically. Her stylist has straightened her naturally wavy hair so it hangs in a scarlet red sheet, framing her cheekbones and eyes. She’s not even airbrushed or photoshopped within an inch of her life yet, goddamn, and she already looks fucking flawless. Totally unfair. “Drifting apart just comes with the territory, I guess. My last ex dumped because I didn’t have enough time for him. Which is fair. It’s not easy.”

Beca’s not sure if she feels totally comfortable going into it with an audience of stylists, especially with one who seems to hate her hair as much as Karen does. Chloe seems completely at ease, but she gives off this edge of being totally confident with herself—something Beca’s not blessed with, as much as she likes to pretend she doesn’t care.

“He also kept trying to persuade me to do a sex tape on several occasions,” Chloe unnecessarily elaborates, “And I kept telling him no, mostly because I was scared that if we did break up he’d try and sell it to TMZ or something. For the record, I’m not against sex tapes. I think they can be very fun and intimate representations of cinematography. But I’d only make one with someone I could trust inside-out and back-to-front, so to speak.”

Oh. Wow. Beca grits her teeth, but there’s a smile there. “That’s… good to know, dude.”

“I know! And I’ll have you know my sex life is far from vanilla. I have a very long list of kinks and some of them are pretty unconventional. Like, this one time, Mark made me try this thing with ginger—“

“And that’s enough!” Beca laughs awkwardly, mainly because the stylists are having a fucking field day and Beca doesn’t want it on record that she and Chloe were discussing figging while getting ready for a shoot.

“Oh,” Chloe says, looking briefly behind her before grimacing at Beca. She mouths I forgot we weren’t alone.

A few minutes later the lady who is coordinating the shoot calls them through to an office with a wall covered in white tarpaulin, the lights all the brighter for it. It’s a pretty low-key thing for Teen Vogue, but it’s the first shoot they’ve done together since the tour announcement, so Beca’s kind of bricking it. Chloe takes everything in her stride. She struts over to the tarpaulin and Beca quickly follows.

She thinks that the costume department might have gone a bit overkill on the rebel and the princess thing that’s been coined for them, because Beca’s dressed in a black mini-dress, leather jacket and doc martens, whilst Chloe is wearing a glittery pink off the shoulder number with white leggings, her feet in ballet pumps. Beca’s eyes are smudged with charcoal black whilst Chloe’s are pearlescent, and she looks every inch the twenty-first century pop princess. Beca’s not sure what she looks like.

The photographer is a young guy, maybe a bit older than she is, wearing a fake waistcoat attached to a t shirt and skinny jeans. He ushers them together, keeps saying to act natural, which in mainstream media terms means attempt to look sexy and maybe pout a bit.

The pictures actually turn out pretty good. Beca gets more element as the shoot drags on, sticking her tongue out for the camera and laughing and trying not to cringe as she tries the sexy hair-flick, smouldering the camera over her shoulder.

It’s the pictures of them together that turn out the best, though. There’s this beautiful shot of the pair of them caught off guard, Chloe’s hand slung over Beca’s shoulder as she laughs, hand over her chest. She looks fucking ecstastic, just to be there, they both do; like they’re ecstatic to be together. It’s almost typical that that one doesn’t make the cover (they go with one of them both straightfaced, stood side by side, like they’ve never met in their lives). The picture doesn’t even make the article. But later on someone from the magazine sends her the unedited rough-cuts, and she saves that one photo to her hard drive.

(Eight months, two weeks and three days later that photo is her desktop background.)

Two hours later and the magazine has all the photos they need so they’re allowed to leave and Beca can keep the leather jacket.

(“I like it on you,” Chloe says, smoothing the leather out with her fingers, “You look super edgy.” Aka, it’s a real turn-on.)

On their way out from the building, Chloe pauses in the middle of the street like she’s suddenly had the best fucking idea. “Hey—my apartment is about a five minute cab ride from here. Do you want to head over there if you haven’t got plans? There’s something I’m desperate to try.”

Beca’s way too intrigued to possibly say no to that.

[juuls]

Facing uncomfortable truths about abuse

This week has been about facing truths, some of which I wish I never had to face, and I know that Mr. Juulna has had to face some pretty harsh truths as I have spoken them to him. Some he has accepted, at least at face value, and some I don’t think he will ever be willing to face, let alone accept.

One of which (is a vast meta umbrella) is that he abused me.

But... it was in a subtle way. Before last Tuesday, July 4th (yes, apparently fate decided to be dramatic with me and its timing), I was unwilling to truly accept that I was abused. 

I wasn’t being physically abused. No, not often. (Yeah, and isn’t that a ridiculous sounding statement.)

But subtle, emotional abuse, is still abuse.

And it took me reading this passage in a fic I was reading, a poly Avengers fic called all this devotion (i never knew at all). It... has some tough topics, especially concerning Tony, a sub, and his former relationship with his dom, Obadiah Stane (the dude Tony killed in the first Iron Man movie). 

[Thank you so much @themonstersoflove for writing this beautiful fic and helping me handle my own problems dealing with abuse. You don’t know how much this helped me.]

Like... okay, fine. Poly and slash and sub/dom isn’t for everyone. The latter is certainly not my usual cup of tea to read, but I don’t mind it at all. I sort of read everything in a ship or fandom I enjoy. And this I very much enjoyed, but for more than the smut. It was an emotional journey, and an important one.

But the point is that, no matter the subject, this following passage has a very important message. And it struck a huge chord within me.

Tony sighs, [...] "You all do better than Obi on that front. What you say or do, you mean. Half the time when he said he was fine, he didn’t mean it."

“Why’d you stay with him?” Steve blurts, then winces. [...]

Tony rolls to face him, and gazes at him with incisive, dark eyes: Howard’s eyes. “I hate that question,” he says after what seems an age.

“Sorry. Sorry, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to-“

“No. I should.” [...] “I hate it because there’s never a good answer. There’s never an answer that satisfies people as to why a smart, wealthy man with all the world before him would choose to stay with someone who hurt him.”

“Any answer you give would be enough for me,” says Steve, and Tony half-smiles.

“So noble. All right. Part of it was that people have this picture of abuse, where it’s a hundred percent of the time someone’s being evil and hitting the victim twenty-four-seven and, I don’t know, threatening their cat until the victim gets mad and burns the bed with him or her in it.”

“I- is that… a real thing?”

Tony laughs. “No, no, it was this awful movie on Lifetime. Sorry, I didn’t mean to confuse you. But that’s the thing, is Obi wasn’t cruel ten percent of the time, or even five percent. The times when he would be angry and hurt me were few and far between, and I always believed him when he said he was sorry, that he’d change, because for months or years at a time, he would. You got to remember, Steve, we were together twenty years.”

“So… there were good times?” It seems impossible that someone who owned the things [very cruel and improperly used BDSM implements] Steve saw in that trunk could be kind, could be good.

“Of course,” Tony says, frowning and looking at Steve as though he’s said something exceptionally dim. “I mean, I know it doesn’t fit your – let’s face it – black and white concepts of morality, but he could be nice. Very few people in this world are a hundred percent evil to everything and everyone. He was a great cook,” Tony smiles with the memory, “and he used to make the best breakfasts the morning after scenes and feed me in bed. Or when I was a kid, and my dad and mom were out at charity things that I didn’t go to, he’d come over and we’d tinker together, and then he’d make pizza from scratch. Before I hired Pepper, after my parents died, it was Obi that kept me from self-destructing.”

Tony shrugs, [...] “Which was another reason. I had a lot of good memories associated with him, and if I acknowledged that he was abusive, those memories seemed… devalued. Unreal. [...]”

[...]

“Anyway. I suppose the last part of it was fear. Obi was… the most stable thing I had in my life. Everything else changed, constantly, but I could always go to Obi’s place and know exactly what to do, where to go. Obi said he could make me the perfect sub, could help me get over what the schools did to me, and I thought he could. Even though he couldn’t, even though it hurt, I valued his confidence. His belief that I could be perfect, and not broken. As time went on, he just became-“ Tony gestures, frustrated, “-part of me. I didn’t know how I’d ever find anyone who treated me like Obi did, like I was valuable for something beyond being Tony Stark, and it just seemed easier to stay than to go, restructure the company, possibly be revealed.”

After I read this passage, I sat in my bath and just stared at nothing, trying to process what it was that I was feeling. It was... it was really hard. To see what I was feeling (mostly) put into words that I could read on a page and recognize in a relationship laid out before me on the page, with characters whom I could see this readily happening to, with the way it was explained.

It was terrifying, but it was also freeing.

I’ve finally -- not just with this, but with a lot of things leading up to this -- been able to recognize what happened to me. To accept that I was abused. That I will be experiencing the aftereffects of what I went through for a long time to come.

That just because it wasn’t “as bad” or “physical” like other people experience in abusive relationships, that just because I am strong and have a good support network and came out of this relationship not a complete mess, broken pieces to be glued back together but never to be the same again...

... just because I’m not all of that, does not mean I am any less justified in calling what happened to me abuse.

I was made to feel like my illnesses were a burden; that I should stop complaining about the immense amounts of unrelieved pain I was in. 

I was yelled at and stalked online and told how terrible I was for blogging about what I did, and for writing fanfiction about what I did. That I was a whore, a harlot, a slut. That I was having an emotional affair; that I was cheating on him by writing what I did.

And when he would get extra specially mad, like when I would inevitably push back (because fuck him) -- he would throw things that would break whatever was hit by whatever it was he’d thrown. Or he would punch walls and doors. And more.

One time he was in the car and rammed it into the side of the house.

Very shortly afterwards, he threw his luggage at me.

And then... then he shoved me against the porch wall, his hand around my throat.

All of this was going on while I was being bullied in the reylo and reylux star wars fandom, and it was even going on before and after I was hacked and my fics removed (yes, it could have been him, but he’s terrible at lying and surprising me, and I honestly do believe he didn’t do it... but I still could be wrong). So, I was facing attacks about my fanfiction writing from two fronts, and I felt like I couldn’t receive comfort from him during my time of emotional need... which just led me further from him, and reinforced his accusations of emotional distancing. (Which, yep, were happening... but because of him.)

But... I still stayed with him.

Why?

Like Tony said... it’s hard to come up with an answer that makes sense and will satisfy the person asking.

He did all that stuff to me and more. Most of it was little things here and there that just added up. It got to the point where I was living in fear of him. I was still doing the things he hated (because, again, fuck him), but I was making sure to hide them -- to hide me -- from him so that he wouldn’t get mad.

All the while protesting that he was a good person. That he had his great moments, and great parts to him that outshone the bad. 

That I still believed in him and his ability to change.

And he did change. That’s what made leaving all the harder. The fact that he had changed from how awful he’d previously been, made it harder for me to realize that it just wasn’t going to work out. That I needed more than just his trying better and being better. I needed to not be with him more than I needed him to change to suit me.

Because in the end, I want what’s best for him as well. I want him to realize how fucked up everything became, how fucked up he treated me... but I also want him to have someone who can be what he needs, and what she/he needs.

Despite it all, despite how it sounds, he is a (mostly) good person. Our fighting is part of his development, and a divorce will serve as punishment enough. Because we did have great times. He’s still at fault, he still did me horrible wrongs that I will never forget or forgive, but I have hope he can be a better person for any new people to come into his life, into my former position in his life. I hope for their sake that he’ll have chilled the fuck out by then, though, and maybe he will without me in his life.

But there were a lot of warning signs that I missed -- that I should have seen and pieced together -- because those signs were too small, too far apart, too innocuous at first, for me to realize I was being abused.

And I know that there are many more people out there like me.

Don’t be afraid, ladies and gents, to leave. Leaving is the hardest thing you will do, but after that it gets better, despite the hardship, feelings of being lost, etc.

You have more friends than you know.

Abuse is abuse, no matter if it’s all the time or rarely, or physical or emotional/mental. 

I love you, even if I don’t know you. I’m here for you, as I know you’re here for me.

*hugs and love*

[mortivern]

Holy fuck. I don’t even know where to start.

Well, first of all, we’re okay. Neither of us are hurt, so there’s at least that going for us. But otherwise…what the fuck.

Early the next morning we took a Charizard Glide back to Malie City, grabbed some coffee, fruit, and breakfast sandwiches at some place called Bewear Boba before heading over to the pier. Gladion and Hau were both waiting at the dock, ready to board the Aether-emblazoned boat, but before we could board Nanu called out after us, saying that we couldn’t consider Ula’ula “complete” without battling him, the grand Kahuna. I looked around and asked….here? Now? To which he just shrugged and said “I doubt you’re coming back after anyway, so…yeah.”

It was a tough battle for me—those fucking Alola Persians and their thick fur make them a REAL pain to take down, especially with a mostly physically-oriented team like mine. Tesla was the one who ended up FINALLY taking down that purple cat with a powerful Thunder. Vera and I were both given Darkinium Z. Vera didn’t even ask why she was being given this Z-Crystal without having to battle him, so I did instead. Nanu shrugged again and said “You beat me and I think she could beat you. Plus, I don’t want to battle again. Have fun at Aether, or whatever.” Charming guy.

Gladion was quiet the whole way over. I kept asking him exactly who he was involved with, and how he knew both Aether and Skull, and how he knew Lillie, but he doggedly ignored me. Vera was pretty quiet, too. Seemed pensive. Staring out the window. Only Hau was talking, babbling like a fountain. He was trying to play it off like he wasn’t nervous at all, but I could hear the strained laughter and see his hands fidgeting and shaking. Mine were, too.

Once we arrived, we were greeted by Faba and a team of Aether scientists, who all said that it didn’t matter if we were here, we’d never make it through to the President anyway, that there were already “plans in action that we were powerless to stop,” etc etc. All these big words coming from someone who’s so easy to push over in battle! As a “courtesy” to us, Faba unlocked the elevator, which was SUPPOSED to go to the top floor but instead led us to the basement. We split up and poked around the different research rooms, hoping to find some information on Nebby/Cosmog and what they were planning to do with it. The room I was in contained information on a prototype they were working on called “Type: Full,” which was intended to serve as a Beast killer with a plate system similar to the one Arceus uses. But apparently the three prototypes went berserk and had to have a mask put on them to nullify their powers. They were renamed “Type: Null” and cryogenically frozen. How in the fuck did Gladion have one of these Type: Null creatures?

I scoured the rest of the room, but it was just filled with case studies and notes on Type: Null. I eventually left, but I was filled with a burning curiosity as to where the other two Type: Null were. I hated to think of them frozen. But then again, was it better to have them out with someone like Gladion, who just pushes it to fight constantly? I don’t know. I hoped they were okay, wherever they were.

Turns out Vera found the information that we needed to know about Cosmog: it has the ability to open wormholes to another dimension. That’s when the research I read on Type: Null made sense. Aether was deliberately trying to capture these Ultra Beasts that people keep talking about. To what end I’m not entirely sure, but I didn’t trust that it was for any good reason. This whole Aether Paradise was probably just a front.

We were ambushed by scientists on our way back to the elevator. When we finally reached it, Wicke was waiting for us. She greeted Hau, Vera, and I warmly, but was especially kindly with “young Master Gladion,” who for once wasn’t scowling. She used her ID to badge us up to the top floor of the foundation. Before I left, she grabbed my arm and asked me to look after Gladion, that what we were about to encounter wasn’t going to be easy for him. May I remind you that at this point NOBODY has told me anything about what’s going on with Gladion, and I’m starting to get tired of it.

A tall, sterile building stood before us; we had to battle our way through Skull grunts and Guzma to get in. This bug dude just does not know when to quit. As we went to open the door he shoved Gladion, asking him if he was ready to face his mom and sister after a few years apart. Wouldn’t you know it! Lusamine is his mom and Lillie is his sister. I looked over at Vera, who in turn just rolled her eyes and shook her head and mouthed “I know.” Gladion had his fists up, shaking all over with anger, ready to beat down on Guzma. I put a hand on his shoulder and led him inside with us.

You remember those total weird beards that I keep running into? The Ultra Recon Squad? These fashion space bitches? I shouldn’t say bitches, they’re actually pretty nice. But they were there, and they were super upset that they’d been double-crossed by Lusamine, who had recruited them under the premise that they’d be helping protect the Ultra Beasts. They challenged me again with their Poipole, just to make sure that I was prepared to take on Lusamine. I won and we pressed on to Lusamine’s laboratory.

The first things you see when you walk into this lab are the Pokemon suspended in ice, cryogenically preserved. The rest of the room is harsh and sterile, just aggressively white and clean. Lusamine was standing with Lillie and Nebby in the center of the room. Lillie was desperately pleading with her mother to leave Nebby alone, that it would expend all its energy, perhaps fatally, if she were to use its power in the state it’s in. Lusamine paid no heed, and said that since her own rotten children did not love her that she would lavish her love upon these Ultra Beasts instead. Yikes! She then turned her gaze on me and said, “And you? What would your mother think about you interfering in family business like this?” And I was suddenly unaware if she knew about who Mom was specifically (very possible, Mom’s a well-known businesswoman) or if she was just referring to my mom, generally speaking. I didn’t care. Hau pulled Lillie off to the side as Lusamine and I squared off in battle.

She was a tough fight, but not anywhere close enough to beat my amazing team. I reached over to pick up the bag holding Nebby, but this bitch steps on my hand, then kicks it away! Takes the bag, shakes it until a wormhole opens up behind her. Yells something about how they’ll miss her once she’s gone, once they can’t feel her love…something to that extent. Jumped in the wormhole and disappeared from sight. Before it closed, Guzma leapt through after her. The wormhole collapsed on itself behind them and suddenly the room was eerily still, except for the humming of the cryogenic machines. Lillie ran over to the bag and unzipped it; Nebby was in a catatonic state, completely unresponsive. She put it back in the bag and held it close.

Lillie and Gladion regarded each other wordlessly before they hugged. He said that we were welcome to stay for a night or two to recover. The Ultra Recon Squad greeted us back in the main building, where they said that in order to find Lusamine and stop Necrozma that we’d need to head over to the Altar of the Moone over on Poni Island and summon one of the legendary Pokemon. I thanked Gladion for his hospitality, took my room key, and as soon as I was alone took the longest, hottest shower that I could. This all felt super unreal. A few weeks ago I was getting drunk at a hotel, and not to sound to trite about it, didn’t have a care in the world! Now it was beginning to feel more and more like the weight of the world was resting on my shoulders.

A few hours later and I was drinking from the mini bar in the room, watching a Johto sitcom that Dad sometimes watches when he’s cooking, when I heard a knock on my door. It was Vera, freshly showered, looking so sad and tired! I invited her in. I made her a Pinap cocktail and flopped back onto the bed. We talked about what had happened today, whether or not we were willing to traverse different dimensions to chase after a terrible mom and the grown man she adopted as her child (very tentative yeses from both of us), what the next steps were. Poni Island seemed inevitable, even if we were just going there to finish our Island Challenges. We agreed that we were in no rush to find Lusamine, but that the threat of Necrozma emerging from a wormhole and…eating the sun? Stealing the light? Was a pressing issue we could not avoid.

I kinda miss my job. Or more accurately, I miss doing work. I don’t think I’m built entirely for leisure like this. I need to be active, be doing something. I think I’ll start to look for jobs next week. You know! If the world as we know it doesn’t come to an end. I should be asleep right now. Vera’s totally conked out in the bed next to me. She came to just lie down for “just a little bit” before she headed back to her room, but once she laid down she said that it felt strange to be in such a quiet and empty room, that she was used to sharing a bed with Leon and sometimes Julian and sometimes that stupid Rockruff, Biscuit. I for one am still super uncomfortable about the thought of Leon sharing a bed with my sister, but that’s not a Here And Now problem and besides, I kind of like having her here, too. Nice to not feel so alone. Guess it’s time to turn off the TV and try to sleep, too. If! My thoughts can turn off long enough for me to do that!

[nicxludi]

A month in the Philippines

MAY 2017

Ludi and I were lucky enough to spend May touring the Philippines. It’s such an amazing and welcoming place, it didn’t take us long to adjust to the Filipino lifestyle and we could have easily stayed for another month - or 3.

To be honest, doing a bit of research on our itinerary and reading the international news beforehand wasn’t so reassuring.

Philippines’ reputation as a travel paradise has taken a big hit over the last few years due to a series of high-profile kidnappings and infiltrated terrorism in the South Islands. If you visit your embassy’s website for advice on travelling to the Philippines, you’ll most likely find a map similar to this one.

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And then you start googling a bit and find yourself reading articles of foreigners being kidnapped and ISIS sieging Mindanao. Don’t let this stop you from visiting the Philippines. While the threat is there, it is mostly only localised to the South Islands (which we didn’t visit – didn’t have time anyway, Philippines is huuuge) and everything is done to ensure the safety of travellers, from Army ships surrounding popular islands to heavily-armed security in buildings like banks and even supermarkets. Once you start talking to locals you realise what’s been portrayed in the international press is slightly over the top – they’ll tell you to keep your wits about of course, but to relax and enjoy yourself first of all.

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Coron Island, first stop to paradise

Ludi was travelling from Nepal and I met her in Manila as I flew over from London. We didn’t stay in Manila for too long and caught a plane the next day for Coron Island. We stayed in this overwater hostel called Divers Paradise, perfect little place to explore the city. The highlight of our time in Coron was definitely getting on a fisherman boat and just island hop for a day. I got the drone out for the first time there and was blown away. It was amazing already but seeing it from above was surreal. Watching the sunset from the top of the hill was pretty scenic too. We also got to eat chicken heads (and brains) on a skewer from a roadside stand and, still to this day, I deeply regret it.

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El Nido, the place to be

From Coron we then took the Ferry to El Nido on Palawan Island. El Nido is this awesome village full or restaurants, bars and other quirky little places, right on the beach. Atmosphere was very different to Coron, loads more to do, especially at night. Out highlight was I think spending two afternoons at Las Cabanas Beach, just a scooter ride away: from there we took a kayak out and paddled away to our own little secluded island. The sunset on Las Cabanas beach is unreal; you can watch it from this beach bar called Beach Shack, lounging on bean bags, sipping on some pineapple shake. Ferking amazing - pics don’t do it justice at all. We got to dance the night away at Shaka Bar; one of the cool things about going out in Philippines is that most of the time Filipinos will be going out to the same places. It’s cool to see that and it’s definitely different to other places in SEA like Thailand or Vietnam where most bars and clubs would be full of tourists and backpackers. Oh and we stayed in this little hotel tucked away from the main street, owned by a French guy from Lorraine, the region I come from. The place was so chilled, just like its owner. Highly recommend it – say Nic sent you. Probably won’t remember me.

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Port Barton, reggae and pineapple shakes all day errrday

From El Nido we took a bumpy bus ride down Palawan to Port Barton. Port Barton is this tiny fishing village made of literally two roads, a very different atmosphere again to Coron or El Nido. If you think you know what chilling out is about, well think again. Port Barton is slow life 101. We stayed at this place called Blue Moon right on the beach, and not sure how, managed to get upgraded to the Honeymoon suite, a huge hut with its own little porch right on the beach front. The Blue Moon is the perfect place to spend a few days and read / meditate / figure out what the hell you want to do in life. We met some really cool people in Port Barton and got to swim with turtles in their natural habitat which was pretty fly. This fisherman called Baba took 8 of us on his boat for a day, showed us the best snorkelling spots and islands, fished for us and cooked us lunch while we were swimming with turtles, and all that for like 8 quid. I mean – it doesn’t get better than that.

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Moalboal like locals

We left Port Barton for Puerto Princesa (which we didn’t visit) to catch a plane to Cebu. A taxi ride away from Cebu City we found Moalboal. Moalboal is this little backpacker village, not amazing in itself (a few good restaurants, a couple of backpacker bars) but a great base if you want to discover the region around it. From Moalboal you can get to the famous Kawasan Falls, these turquoise-blue waterfalls which you may have seen before on some popular travel youtube video or Instagram account. Pretty cool spot that definitely lives up to its reputation. We got to hang out with a bunch of locals and do some cliff jumping; the drone also crashed in the water but somehow survived (actually flew back out like freakin Moses). We got drunk on the beach with a bunch of Fiipinos who invited us to the local annual fiesta that happened to be on that weekend. Great way to experience a real Filipino village party, hosted in and around the city stadium. They called their nights out “jazz nights” there, which don’t get fooled, doesn’t include jazz at all. Some of the hostel peeps would rather go back and get drunk at the hostel, but we decided to stay and had the best time. Don’t get smashed at your hostel kids, just get smashed with locals – way more fun. Also have to point out that at this point, most of the drinks we’d had on the Filipino territory had been offered to us by locals. Week 3 and we probably had paid for 2 beers and a G&T all together. Such generosity I tell you.

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Living the dream on the Bohol hills

Next stop after Moalboal was Bohol, which might have been my personal highlight of the trip. Bohol is this island west of Cebu, home of the “OHMERGERD A SCHTICK” meme, the tarsier. This little dude.

Now, it’s also where you’ll find the famous Chocolate Hills, and loads of other unnamed hills as well. If you get out of the main city and climb up you’ll find this gem of a hotel called Sunrise Sunset Marquise. We got to stay in one of the suites there, it was magazine-worthy. High up on the hills, air is fresher and it was a nice little break from the scorching heat we’d had so far. The food was overwhelmingly good and view was sensational. It cost us £25 each a night, this hotel in European standards would probably be around the £300 a night mark. Absolute bargain I’m telling you.

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2 weirdos in Bataad

From Bohol it was back to Manila for the penultimate part of our trip: Luzon Island and its rice terraces. The best place to see the rice terraces in Philippines is this tiny village called Bataad. Bataad is only accessible by foot from Banaue, and Banaue is only accessible from a night-long bus ride from Manila. In other words, it’s a fucking mission. But damn, was it worth it. Bataad is truly unspoiled, unlike its big sister Banaue, and we got to stay in this tiny little place on top of a hill, looking down on the rice fields. Never saw anything like this before. Waking up to this every morning was pure bliss, and being cut off from civilisation with no wifi, data, signal or even at times electricity was surprisingly refreshing. We loved it so much we stayed there 3 nights (most people just spend one night or hike through it on a roundtrip hike from Banaue). Couple of weirdos staying for 3 nights. The landlady was washing our clothes by the end of it and pretty sure if we’d stayed one more night we would have been considered part of the family. Anyway, a pic is worth a thousand world so check this out.

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Give Manila a chance

And there we were, back to Manila for the last 5 days. We stayed in this boutique hotel called Amelie, great place to explore the city. Again, most people thought we were weirdos staying in Manila for more than a day. We decided to give it its chance and well, it delivered. Loads to do and see in Manila, and it’s a nice way to ease back into the City life after all those laid-back, super-chilled places we’d visited. Manila is a capital city and you’ll find great restaurants, loads of history and cultural spots (something we didn’t necessarily find elsewhere) and great places to visits like the Spanish neighbourhood or the expat quarter. Definitely recommend this French / Japanese fusion joint called Le Petit Soufflé. I know, it’s not Filipino food, but fuck it, do you go to the UK to eat English food all the time? Thought so. I flew back to London but Ludi actually stayed for 5 more days in Manila before flying to Bangkok, and she thought it was pretty safe – so if you’re a lone traveller, especially a female, well you can still enjoy the city without fear (daytime that is). Something we didn’t expect from the feedback we got before the trip.

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So that’s our Filipino trip. It was truly amazing beyond words and I hope it got you itching to visit. There’s a lot said about this country all over the international news at the moment, with the new president and unfortunately the terrorist threat in the South Islands. While this is true, spending a month there we didn’t feel threatened in any way, and the beauty of those islands and the generosity of the Filipino people truly made this trip an unforgettable experience.

[thegeminisage]

time for MORE ZELDABLOGGING hell yeah today’s stream of consciousness:

i’ve decided that i wanna go south bc like im never gonna catch up with my brother and im Not in the mood to do heat-resistence stuff so i might as well see a thing he hasn’t, right?!

if i get too bored i can always turn around and go north!!

furthermore he’s getting closer to hyrule castle and i dont wanna lol

fast traveled to the dueling peaks and found the tower already

ooh and lake hylia is south as well! tho ofc im doing the southeast one first

and i’ll probably get tired of storyless exploring before i get out that far hahaha

wow the tower is close to the border, i can see the lake hylia province from here

there’s an Immense palm tree lookin jungle and i think i see a giant armos?

but the mountains divide it pretty neatly so it looks to be an easy walk assuming those guardian statues don’t move

ah. of course they move.

at least they can’t get up and walk around :|

too bad you can’t play around in the menu while you wait out rain. i’d rewatch m memories and shit

i climbed this one red looking cliff and the sky went green and the weather changed to all cloudy forever so im probably about to die

and just like that, glided to the tower. easy peasy

ah, the faron province!! cooool

ah wow!! it’s bigger than i realized *w*

watching a lightning storm from one of these towers is fucking terrifying

that lightning does Not fuck around

the maddening thing about this game is seeing so much cool shit in the distance and you can’t check it out yet, or it would be such hard work

i see some glowy shit and a giant pink tree and i wanna explore everything but also it’s so Much

it’s kind of creepy out here :/ maybe i want to go do story after all lol

im ging back to the shrine you hang glide off of so i can start from  somewhere familiar >_>

idk why im so cautious playing this game. like. its a game. its not like it can hurt me

im having trauma flashbacks looking at eventide island

wait is this a

i hear town music!!! omg omg

PEOPLE ;_;

ohhhh my gosh what a beautiful peaceful beachside town

reminds me of bodhum/new bodhum and bits and piece of ff11, which i say with the greatest reluctance

i love everyone in this village just bc they are here

oh god it’s so beautiful i love beaches so much i want to live here

oh my gosh there’s a gerudo here!!!!!! OH MY GOD I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU SINCE MM TALK TO ME

she’s asleep in the inn lol

oh hey the painter dude is here too

some of these hylian npcs are poc which is so do cool and overdue

ooh a chest game

i lost lmao

OH MY GOD

the gerudo lady is awake and she is. so tall oh my god

im gay

i am Gay

I Am Gay

oh, man. oh man

are they all  so beautiful. so Strong. good god

i wish this village was bigger i could have happily stayed here for hours

omg

someone a long time ago was standing on a mountain that looked like a broken heart and was like, is this not the place to find your soulmate…? but i haven’t found mine yet

someone mentioned a similar legend here and on the map i see a mountain with a whole heart on it pfffft

im so sick of seeing these stone cirlces everywhere…i can’t blow them up..what do you DO with them? complete the pattern maybe??

oh my god it worked

i’ve passed by so many…how will i ever get all these seeds……..

i know the game wants me to sail here but i hate sailing, it’s tedious, i want to control my boat with the fucking control stick

holy fuck dude the sword im using is so strong?? it cut down a palm in a single swipe!!

the longer i play the more i hate the blood moon

oh no i found a hinox

i was going to avoid him but he has an orb….

idk where it goes tho so there’s no point there’s no point the blood moon will bring him back okay Okay

hes a red one anyway so no big, when the time comes

oh my god ANOTHER hinox with an orb

i bet they go to the twin shrines near the village

but i’m supposed to find a tablet before i do that…….i don’t wanna skip another quest like the zora helm also thats a Long walk jesus christ

NNNONONONO GOD

GUARDIAN THAT CAN WALK OVER THERE NO FUCKING THANKS SO GLAD IT DIDN’T SEE ME

so fucking glad

exploring is so dangerous Why

why do i suck SO much at combat

oooh a bokoblin camp with a black mobiln :/ Yikes

aaand bomb arrows takes care of THAT

i love seeing farosh flying around here but i can NEVER CATCH HIM

i was just a few minutes too late to getting him at a really good spot

but the dragons seem to take the same route over 24h, so there’s that

oh hey im back at green cloud plateau

okay Um am i crazy or did i just hear something roar? was that the wind??

oh god i see a question mark from here something already knows im close

oh ogd oh god why i bet it’s big and awful

IT’S A LYNEL LOL

i dont have any healing or defense stuff no way

oh no i think there’s a shrine up there where he is ): but i can’t get it

AND A HINOX RIGHT NEXT TO HIM? NO THANKS LOL

jesus i knew i’d die here

at least there’s no orb on this one

oh noooo more lightning god the storms here are brutal

omg i found shelter behind a waterfall and there’s the shrine i was sensing!! yes!!!!!

holy fuck im not safe here either i nearly just got fried

in the shrine we go holy shit

may the weather be better when i get out

damn i keep finding ore today… #blessed

I SAW FAROSH AGAIN HE WAS SO CLOSE BUT I WAS STILL TOO SLOW…okay they DEFINITELY take the same route everyday i think

or at least if not at the same time, the same places

ugh i went over to this one place and the weather turned to all lightning forever

KASS? HOLY SHIT DUDE YOU’RE GONNA GET FRIED

im so glad to see him ;_; it’s creepy out here

uh…i think…i have to get struck by lightning…on this hill…oh my god i’ll die???

maybe my lightning rod will work……? please…………..?

aaaaand it did nothing. great. ok

/saves game

……../dons metal armor weapons and shield

LMAO IT WORKED HOLY SHIT

oh my god im alive!!!! i had mipha’s grace just in case but i took an electric elixir

jesus FUCK

yes nice i didnt even have to do anything just get the…chest…….

B R O

i got rubber tights!!! electric resistance!!!!! NICE

ah and when i came out the storm was over :3

but kass is gone ): i wanted to tell him i figured out his song!!!

i knew i should have talked to him before i went in :/

lol i find a boat after playing in the water for 100 years…..not that i wouldve used it, but

aw i met and saved a traveling couple, i’ve saved them before

oh my gosh a STABLE!! all the way out here!!!!

THERE ARE PEOPLE

man i wondered what that couple was doing out in such a remote place

oh wow beedle gave me a single ancient arrow…apparently it deals huge damage even to guardians

maybe this is what the start screen meant by the right tools!!!!

but there’s only one…

robbie from akkala gave it to him…NICE i’ll remember

ah some guy here said there was something glowing at the top of floria waterfall…i gotta check that out

ooh a shrine back here too…nice

god there’s a chest in here that’s REALLY hard to get bc camera angles but it has an ancient core (looked it up) and i need one to upgrade my runes………smh

man…nah. im out. there will be other cores & this is crazy ridiculous

its just the stasis rune anyway and i use that one the least

five big hearty radishes means TWENTY FIVE EXTRA HEARTS

but you can only have a max of 30 lol so

AAAH HERE COMES FAROSH AND IM FINALLY AHEAD OF WHERE HE’LL BE OH MY GOD

I HIT HIM I HIT HIM

I FINALLY GOT A SCALE

almost died for it but. i got it. he throws electricity involuntarily and it’s major stuff i shoulda worn my rubber gear

i kinda wanna wait and see if i can get another……..but i have shit to do

holy shit farosh came back around & i got another scale…wish i could hit his horn

AAAH NO A GIANT STONE THING IS HERE….i have no idea how to fight them im leaving

well idk if the stone thing or the dragon or the shrine was what was supposed to be glowing up here but i don’t see anything new

im almost done exploring this province, actually

gotta walk along one beach and climb the heart mountain and that’s it!

a little tempted to grab my horse since it’s such an easy direct road, but i’d be getting on and off all the time ):

fml there’s a guardian on this beach…pls dont move pls dont pls dont

oh thank god its stuck in the sand

omg there was a chest in the sand but it WASNT A CHEST it was one of those yellow octoroks!!!! but!! i shot it! and got money!!!!!!!! #nice

NOOOO another stone thing!!

but you know the last one took a lot of damage from one accidental bomb so maybe

how do you fight it?? i can’t damage it???

OH OMG THE ORE THING!!! OKAY LET’S DO THIS SHIT let’s go i cooked up so much good food

oh my god i took him down in just a handful of bomb arrows…THATS what ive been running from?

not nearly as scarly as lynel tbh

and i’ve been marking the minibosses on my map so now i can look for jewels there if i ever need to

i found a fuckton in this region but lol i sold them all

i know one great fairy needs 10k rupees and like…..Yikes

im getting pretty good with my bow, i can hit far off targets bc i know how high to aim and shit

i’ve kind of been wondering what happens if you get to the edge of the map

but the wind gets so strong on the beaches i bet you just either run out of stamina if swimming or can’t make the boat get past it if sailing

but what happens if you get to a land edge though…?

i actually dislike getting to edges of maps haha it creeps me out. that disreality unrealization shit. no thanks

in la noire the edges of the map have u-turn streets and you realize the cars are all just on one endless track and no one is in them and no one ever goes home and you start to wonder if this actual universe is a simulation and it freaks you out

anyway.

omfg someone from the yiga clan selling bananas like i actually could have bought some if i wanted LMAO

he actually had me fooled for a moment even though i know what npcs named “traveler” mean

why do they all give me bananas when they die anyway………whats going on with this.

oh my god this dude at the heart shaped pond is in love with this gerudo lady here. and like. same oh my god she’s so Big

but lol you can choose to say “yeah talk to her” or “nope, rival time!”

me: aggressively wants to flirt with the gerudo lady but not in a straight way

pls this cutscene was so cute

but she deserves better than a weirdo like this guy

he like, gave me a twenty, and she fussed at him for being stingy, so then he have me a hundred, and THEN

HE ASKED FOR HIS MONEY BACK LMFAO no way fucknuts

wow and with that im All Done with this province O:

i mean yeah i got quests and shrines to come back and do, but i’ve SEEN everything, yk

maybe now i’ll go up to death mountain haha i feel so slow ): i hope what i saw and did made up for my slow story progress

whoa this weapons guy said he’d remake mipha’s trident if i ever broke it!! what a relief

ah i finally figured out the shrine puzzle by zora’s domain…gotta give that thing a dragon scale. but i like my dragon scales too much so i won’t. maybe later

oh hey the death mountain region tower! that was easy

uhhh what…is that

oh my god a FLYING GUARDIAN are you KIDDING me??? why???????

and they’re everywhere! fantastic!!! my ass is DEAD

oh okay this region is called akkala

at least i get guardian arrows here eventually :|

oh my god ONE SAW ME FUCK

oh my god

I RAN UP TO THE TOWER AND IT’S COVERED IN THE BLIGHT

what is that thing crawling all over death mountain?!

what is happening OH my god!!! so much!! everything!!! all at once!!!!!!!!

wait

that’s the divine beast

oh my god

oh my god.

oh my god it’s so big but even still it looks tiny in comparison to the mountain, oh my god

omg it gets cold up here only at night?? omg

NO there’s a still guardian up here too ;_;

i’m gonna try to kill it!!! good first try it can’t move and there’s cover RIGHT here

second try really but im stronger now

now, i have bomb arrows and lightning rods

ok lightning rod does nothing, bomb arrows dont work in the rain, but i killed it with shock arrows!!

and it wasnt v hard bc i was behind cover the whole time lol

but like, with those arrows - i used maybe 9 or 10? and that was all i used, i threw a couple of bombs at it too i guess

now to figure out how i even get IN here w/ all this gunk…..

fuck a bokoblin near a cooking pot saw me and accidentally set itself on fire lmao

ok i can’t climb past the blight, i tried, but how the fuck do i get rid of it i dont see any eyeballs )))):

……………………….w ait

this bokoblin has a shield with the hylian crest on it. the HYLIAN crest

these ruins have the red carpet with the double line of gold on the side

i’m crying this was someplace special

i don’t know what it was bc it can’t be the temple of time or hyrule castle but it was someplace real i recognize the style of it so faintly and it’s COVERED IN BLIGHT

oh my god………..this is so Much

ah ok a beam fell when i shot the first eyeball and i was like why arent there anymore?? but apparently i can magnesis it

oh wow i found a piece of a room…….totally trashed, jesus christ

must’ve been a lab or library

omg its thundering outside…..that has nothing to do with zelda but it makes this creepier

THERE’S A GUARDIAN AT THE TOP SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

its not alive tho thank christ

jesus fuck the divine beast is SO BIG and the mountain is still SO MUCH BIGGER i feel so tiny every time i look

anyway it’s 5am and there’s lightning so i gotta unplug for many reasons, this is a fine stopping place, can’t wait to get my ass kicked by that thing and rescue a goron, holy fuck