#like dont get me wrong experiment in fic all you like and i'd never go into their comments and critique them for their narrative choices

[recent-rose]

i need ppl who are going to write fic from the pov of clearly, canonically, passionately green-aligned characters, to just commit. like tell me why someone's first paragraph in a fic, written from the perspective of aeron fucking bracken, is a whole bunch of 'the greens suck, rhaenyra is the true queen, and i totes didn't just involve myself in a massacre (in which i DIE) over my firm belief that the blacks are infant killers aha' :skull:

[jadewritesficshere]

Slow and Steady

Steve Harrington x female!reader

Summary: You're ready for your first time with your boyfriend but are nervous based on past experiences. Steve is determined to make you feel good (3-5k words my computer broke around 1500 so I finished this on Tumblr dont know exact word count)

Contains: pure smut, reader has vaginismus (not explicitly named in the fic), talks of anxiety/nerves/doubt, fingering, cumplay, p in v, no condoms please wrap it up, creampie, pet names (Steve calls you Baby)

please note I am not a doctor. This is based on how sex is for me, not every two experiences are the same

18+ only

You sigh in pleasure. Steve is kissing your jaw, sucking lightly at your pulse that's beating wildly for him. You can feel a rush of tingling warmth spread from your spine to your lower stomach. Your hands roaming up and down his shoulders, trying to memorize the contours of his muscles. The way his hand squeezes your hip as if you would drift away if he let go.

Steve sighs, pressing his forehead into your cheek before giving you a final kiss and starting to pull back. You whine, gripping his biceps. "Steve don't! Plea- keep going!" You aren't sure you're fully making sense as your thoughts are only Steve Steve Steve. "Baby, I don't want to get carried away without talking first," Steve cups the side of your face with his hand, thumb lightly moving back and forth over your cheekbone.

"I want to make sure you're ready," Steve says looking deep into your eyes. You look away, feeling ashamed. You shouldn't be, you know this. But that doesn't stop that feeling from welling up.

You remember the first time you had sex, how much it hurt. But people told you that was normal, that it's better the next time because you weren't a virgin anymore. But that time hurt like hell too. And the next. And the next. Like you were being ripped apart, like there was something wrong.

And then your doctor told you the name of it and how some women had it. Said there were ways to work around it and work through it, but it was like cotton in your ears. All you heard was there was something wrong with you. You know there isn't, but your deceitful mind tells you there is. And now you tense up as things start to progress, making things worse unintentionally. All you could think was, 'well no one would want to work through it since no one else has before.'

But then Steve came in and tore all your defenses down. Weasled his way in with stupid pickup lines and free car rides. Rolled his eyes and gave you a 'are you seeing this?' look as he bickered with the kids before sighing dramatically and giving them what they wanted. Would wear a stupid apron when he cooked and would sneak food off his plate onto yours to make sure you had enough. You didn't stand a chance.

When Steve made out with you for the first time you wanted to cry. Thought "well this is it. He's going to leave like the rest after this." But when you stopped him, he didn't pout. He didn't roll his eyes or gripe at you, claim you led him on. Didn't try to force the issue. Steve took your no as a no and asked no questions, just pulled back smiled at you with a bulge in his pants and asked if you wanted to choose the movie now.

You broke down in tears as he tried to comfort you. And you told him everything. About how it hurt and had never been enjoyable for you. How you were scared it would hurt again. How you really liked Steve and wanted to do it with him but didn't want to disappoint him like the others. How you didn't want him to leave like the others.

And Steve let you cry into his shirt. And Steve calmed you and told you, "I'm sorry they never took care of you the way you deserve to be taken care of. If you never want to have sex, we don't have to. I love you regardless of sex, I mean yeah it would be fun and I'd like to, but like- if you aren't having a good time I don't want to do it. If you do want to try, Baby, we can take it really slow. Slow and steady. But I don't want you to feel pressured to have sex, we don't need it. If you want it we can and if you never want it we don't have to."

It was like a balm to your soul. Aloe vera on a burn you didn't realize still stung. Just knowing Steve cared enough to not call it quits made you feel desired. But that little lying voice in your head said he'd get upset and move on.

But months passed and Steve stayed. Lovely, caring Steve. Steve who held your hand and proclaimed it was a perfect fit. Steve who kissed you so sweetly, following your lead. Steve who never protested or became frustrated when you stopped things from furthering on. Steve who would help you slip your shirt back on and hold you close after making out. Steve who never once complained about "leading him on" like others have.

Steve who was the first to say," I love you," and never pushed you to say it back. Steve who bought your favorite books and tried to read them so he could have another bond with you. Steve who always knew what to say to brighten your day. The Steve who showed he loved you in every little way he cared for you.

A hand on your face snaps you back to the moment. Steve frowns slightly," You okay? You went somewhere for a minute." You shrug," Got lost in my thoughts." Steve's eyes bore into your own, as if trying to see into your mind. "If you want to stop here, we can-" "No!" You interrupt, running a hand from his shoulder to the back of his neck.

Steve pauses, waiting on you. "I want to continue. I'm just...nervous? They say relax, but then how do they expect me to relax when I know how its been in the past? And then I get tense because I'm nervous and then I'm nervous because I'm tense and then-" Steve cuts you off with a kiss. Your eyes flutter shut as he gently kisses you. It's so tender and sweet, you can practically feel the cavities forming from how sweet it is.

Steve pulls back enough to say," If anything is uncomfortable or hurts you tell me okay? If you want to stop then you say it." You nod but Steve clicks his tongue," I need your words Baby." "Yeah, okay."

Steve kisses your forehead, murmuring an "I love you". He leans back enough to help you pull your dress off and over your head. "Fuck me," he whispers, mouth falling open. Any thoughts of cowering or hiding yourself melt away as his eyes further light up with lust. "Planning to," You grin.

Steve snorts as he laughs, shaking his head slightly before ripping his shirt off. You bite your lip as you look at Steve unabashedly. Usually you try to sneak peeks, like when he lifts his shirt to wipe sweat off his forehead after a run. But now you can just look. You tentatively run a hand through his chest hair, causing him to shiver.

"Now here's what we're gonna do," Steve lightly palms himself over his jeans, groaning before speaking with a raspier tone," I'm going to take such good care of you. You're gonna take your underwear off and-"

You push your underwear down, kicking them off. Steve's jaw goes slack as he stares at your glistening cunt. "That all for me?" Steve asks. "All for you. I want you," You reach a hand out and press against his bulge, causing him to let out a whine before he grips your wrist. "Get comfortable Baby."

You lay back against the bed, relaxing into the pillows. "Now, you're gonna finger yourself." Steve instructs. You scoff," Didn't you just say you were gonna take care of me?" Steve smirks as he grabs your hand," Oh I will, but look," He holds his palm against yours," My fingers are so much bigger then yours."

It's shocking how big his hands are compared to yours. His fingers are longer and thicker then yours. You can feel yourself get wetter at the thought, but also a hint of nerves come back.

As if Steve has a glimpse into your mind, he slowly runs a hand up your shoulder to cup your face," There's no rush. I can do this all night. Slow and steady, remember?" Steve leans in and kisses you softly. You sigh into the kiss, slowly melding your mouth against his. The tip of his tongue traces your lip, leaving you begging for more.

Steve pulls back enough to whisper," Touch yourself," before trailing kisses to your jaw and neck. You can't suppress the shiver that runs through you as he hits that one spot. Steve lightly sucks on your neck as you slowly trail a hand down.

Your trembling (from nerves, excitement, or pleasure you can't tell) fingers slowly part your lips. You can feel how wet you are, starting to drip onto your thighs and under you. You slowly circle your clit, relaxing at the feeling of pleasure taking over. You moan softly as Steve continues to pepper your neck with kisses.

You lower your hand further, fingers tracing your entrance. You coat your fingers with your slick before slowly pushing your middle finger in. It doesn't hurt at the moment, but feels uncomfortable. Your brow furrows slightly, concern starting to come back. Steve is there though, kissing your forehead until you relax and using one of his large fingers to deftly circle your clit.

You pump your finger in and out, discomfort dissipating each time until you're reveling in the feeling. "There ya go," Steve murmurs reverently as your mouth falls open at how good it feels. Steve wraps his hand around your wrist, causing you to whine as he pulls your hand away.

Steve maneuvers your hand so only two fingers remain up before guiding them back to your pussy. "There you go Baby. Doing so well," Steve praises as you slowly insert the two fingers. It takes a second to adjust, to get used to the feeling.

But Steve distracts you by kissing down your chest. He reaches behind you and unsnaps your bra with one hand, the other grabbing your wrist and guiding you into a faster pace.

You let the bra straps fall down your arms, laying loosely. Steve peels your bra down and groans as your breasts sway slightly. "So fucking gorgeous," Steve groans," Doing so good." You don't even have a chance to warn him as you tumble over the edge of pleasure. You moan and gasp as you writhe against your hand. His tongue feels electrifying as he circles it around your nipple, finger circling your clit again.

You can barely hear Steve saying," That's my girl. Doing so well Baby." Your mouth is hanging open as you take in deep breaths. Warmth, euphoria, and ecstasy flow through your body freely. You come back to your body slowly, aware of Steve holding you hand, his thumb moving back and forth caressing your hand.

"My turn to touch you Baby," Steve growls out. You blink up at him a few times, still coming back down to earth. You nod as you remove your fingers. They glisten in the light from your wetness. Steve inhales sharply before darting forward, licking your fingers. You aren't sure if it was you or him who gasps, but Steve's mouth is suddenly surrounding your fingers.

Steve sucks and licks the wetness off your fingers. His eyes flutter shut as he moans. You can feel yourself getting more turned on as you watch Steve. Steve blearily opens his eyes, still sucking on your fingers. His eyes heavy with lust.

You gasp as Steve trails a finger through your folds, coating them in your release. Steve pulls off your fingers with a sudden pop, lips glistening from spit and cum. "You taste so fucking good Baby. Can't wait until I can bury my face in your pussy," Steve slowly inserts a finger as he speaks," But we'll save that for next time okay?"

His finger is definitely bigger then yours. It is slightly uncomfortable, but not painful. Steve redirects your attention by circling your nipple with his tongue again. With his free hand, he caresses and pulls the nipple he is currently not kissing and sucking on.

Steve adds a second finger once he's felt you fully relax against him. Once he's seen the unconscious tension in your shoulders go away. When he sees the clench of your jaw and your furrowed brow relax. Steve knows you have no clue you are doing this, but he is attentive and sees the signs.

When Steve adds a third finger is when you sharply inhale. Steve immediately pauses," Too much? What do you need?" "Just give me a minute," You try to steady your breathing. It doesn't hurt but it doesn't not hurt. It's a pressure and a pinch and pain but not the worst pain you've ever felt.

"I'm sorry," you whisper, looking away. "For what?" Steve frowns and grasps your chin, forcing you to look at him," Baby, it's okay! I can spend all day here with you- i want to spend all day with you. It doesn't bother me that this takes time. I love you. You're worth it. You're like everything to me. You should enjoy this too, not just me."

You can feel the tears start to form but you blink them away. You lean forward and kiss Steve again. He hums slightly against you before deepening the kiss. His tongue sweeps into your mouth, pulling moans and gasps from you. You barely notice Steve moving his hand again, pumping his fingers in and out of you.

When Steve pulls back, his lips are swollen and his face flushed," Do you think you are ready or do you want me to add another finger?" You pause for a moment to think before whispering," I'm ready, just...go slow?" Steve smiles and kisses your forehead," I can do that. That's my middle name." You giggle as Steve blinks at you," That was dumb forget i said that."

He removes his fingers and you can feel yourself clench at the loss. But your heart beat picks up in anticipation as Steve finally sheds his boxers.

Steve can't help but smirk as your jaw drops. Steve is big. Bigger then you expected him to be. There's a prominent vein you want to lick, follow all the way up to the flushed tip. There is pre-cum leaking from the top. You can see at least one freckle near the base, and another on one of his balls.

Steve crawls over you, hovering above. "You ready?" He asks, eyes staring into yours. You nod. "Want to hear your pretty voice Baby," Steve threads his hand in yours. "Ready as I'll ever be," You grin shakily.

Steve positions himself at your entrance. "Hold onto me, okay?" Steve inhales and slowly exhales. You run your hands up his shoulders to the column of his neck before threading a hand through his hair.

You squeeze his hand tight as the tip of his penis enters you. "I got you, I'm sorry," Steve murmurs as he squeezes his eyes closed. "Don't be," you gasp. It isn't painful like it has been in the past. It's a stretch, slightly uncomfortable, but not painful.

Steve murmurs praises once he's seated fully in you. You exhale slowly as you get used to the feeling. Any further nerves and tension slowly goes away. You feel so good. Full. You lean forward barely touching Steve's lips with yours. Steve chases you, enveloping your mouth with his.

"Please move Steve," you whisper in between kisses. He nods. Steve slowly moves out, it makes you want to weep at the loss, but he's suddenly filling you again.

You gasp in pleasure. It's never been like this. Felt so good. "Fuck," you gasp out, nails scratching against Steve's shoulder. He grabs your leg and positions it around his hip, driving deeper into you," Yeah, we are."

You would chuckle, but you can barely think straight. Warmth spreads throughout your limbs. Pleasure. Ecstasy. You moan wantonly as you writhe against Steve as your orgasm overtakes you. Steve squeezes your hand in his, grounding you into this moment, as he presses his forehead to yours.

Every breath you exhale, Steve inhales, and vice versa. His weight pressed against you, holding you close. His hips stutter against yours, you feel his warm wet seed paint the inside of your walls. You are wholly consumed by Steve.

You slowly come back to your senses, to Steve kissing your neck. You hum slightly, pulling back to look at him. "That was...amazing," you smile at him. Steve grins back before kissing you once more," Let me get something to clean you up, I'll be right back."

You feel empty as Steve pulls out, a slight sting at the loss that dissipates quickly. Your combined release spills out of you as Steve stands up. Steve's jaw drops slightly at the sight, stomach muscles twitching as his cock kicks back up in interest.

Steve shakes his head and returns to the task at hand. He heads into the attached bathroom, grabbing a washcloth and running it through warm water. When he returns, he carefully cleans you. You shift uncomfortably from the unexpected texture against your sensitive skin.

As soon as Steve is done, he tosses the washcloth towards the hamper. He scowls as he misses, causing you to laugh. He crawls into bed next to you," Foul play, I was distracted." "Oh?" "Mmhmm" Steve covers you with a blanket and pulls you into his side.

You curl into Steve, hand resting against his chest. You can hear his steady heart beat. You absent-mindedly trace letters on his skin. "I love you," you murmur. You pause, waiting for a response.

Your brow furrows and you lift your head to look at Steve, who remains silent. You snort out a laugh. Steve's eyes are closed and his jaw slack as he breathes through his mouth. Dead asleep as you confess your love for him. You grin as you kiss his pec, laying your head back down.

You'll tell him again when he wakes. And again that evening. And again. And again. And-

[saltwaterburns]

Hi, hello. Could I request an Anthony Lockwood x reader fic, maybe with the reader comforting Lockwood after a near death experience during a case/when stress becomes too much/after a nightmare (your choice, truly)

Thank you so much in advance! I love your writing and I look forward to reading what you make of this request (no pressure though!!)

je sais pas m'oublier

summary: you comfort lockwood after a mission almost gone wrong and somehow end up tangled together with him in the library

warnings: lockwood gets injured and they don't kiss 😕

pairing: anthony lockwood x gn!reader

a/n: AAAAAA MY FIRST EVER FIC THATS A REQUEST. This is very nerve wrecking btw I don't want to disappoint anyone. If it's bad it's cause of nerves. I love you guys sm, all of your notifications make my day. And!!! When requesting I'd loveloveLOVE if you'd specify the readers gender! I tried to make this gn but it might tilt towards fem reader ;(

And to this lovely anon, i adore you endlessly!!! 🩷

It was supposed to be a simple case. Get there, find the source, capture it, get out. It really didn't seem like something to make a big deal out of. Yet here you were, desperately digging the ground for multiple sources alongside George while Lucy and Lockwood are trying to fight off the wailing type twos surrounding your lot.

"I've never wanted Kipps and his crew to show up more than right now." You laugh, a hint of worry sprinkled upon it. George snorts and you grin at the sound, your hands steadily guiding the shovel that's digging the ground, not a spot on your body left that appears clean. You feel small droplets of rain start to drop down and the waters of panic lap at your feet, your heartbeat echoing in your ears. The possibility of you not making it out in one piece tonight just became very real. If the rain continues, you won't be able to see the ghosts well enough to fight them off.

As if on cue, your shovel hits something wet, hard and slippery. Bones. You shout for George and leave him to deal with the sources, hauling yourself up the muddy hole to go and help your friends.

Your gaze settles on Lockwood. He seems to be doing fine at first glaze, but as you look closer, you see that he's limping. Why on Earth would he be limping? You dont have enough time to wallow on that because he falls, his rapier flying just a few inches too far for him to grasp.

You shout for him and without thinking, grab a magnesium flare off your belt, throwing it somewhere in the direction of the ghost. The explosion would've knocked you off your feet but your mind is locked on him, his lanky frame, that now on the ground looks small, fragile even.

"Lockwood, Locky are you alright?" You ask, dropping down on to your knees next to him, gently cradling his face in your hands. He groggily opens his eyes and you practically sob, pulling him close to you. His brown curls tickle your face but you only hold him tighter, smiling to yourself as you feel his arms slowly making their way around you.

"Fucks sake, you scared me. Scared me so bad. Why were you limping? You could have been ghost touched." You murmur, pressing a kiss to his head after every word. You don't give him time to answer before pulling away, cupping his cheeks and resting your forehead against his. His eyes flutter shut, dark lashes brushing against pale cheeks. How does he always manage to look so breathtaking?

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I messed up a manoeuvre and slipped on the grass, it was rather stupid of me." He apologises, but you only hold him tighter.

George finishes up securing the sources with Lucy and all five of you start the journey back to Portland Row, soaking wet and covered in mud, awaiting the box of Arif's donuts that are sitting on the kitchen table.

You exit the steaming bathroom, a pink towel wrapped around your upper body, soaking wet hair leaving a path of tiny droplets all the way to your and Lucy's room. The ginger girl is fast asleep under the mountain of covers, soft snores emitting from her. You turn off her bedside lamp, darkness swallowing the room. You're used to the darkness, the way it disables all your senses at first. You pay it no mind and slip into a grey 'The Rolling Stones' t-shirt, rough drying your hair with the towel before disregarding it somewhere.

You don't go straight to bed. Something is crippling inside you, chewing on your heart. You leave your room and walk downstairs, stopping in front of the library door. Light is bleeding through the cracks all around the door, and you instantly know who's awake in there at this hour. It's him, always him.

You knock on the door a few times and twist the door knob, stepping into the dimly lit room. Lockwood is sitting there; his hair damp, his sleep shirt a little soaked as well. He has a book in his lap and it looks like he's trying to read but something is bothering him.

"Hey, you. I wanted to check up on you. Are you okay?" You ask, your voice barely above a whisper. He sighs softly and closes the book, putting it away before patting on the spot next to him, signalling for you to come and sit. You do exactly that and sit down next to him, looking a little worried.

He's warm. You can feel the heat emitting from him, his body. Its heating up your cheeks, tinting them pink.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm alright. Just shaken I suppose. Felt like I was looking death himself right in the eye for a second there." He chuckles, but there isn't any amusement laced in it. You don't reply to him, you just take his hand in yours and lace your fingers together.

Nothing else is said throughout the night. When George finds you two in the morning, he's laying on top of you, his head on your chest and his arms around your waist. You're holding him close to you, your grip unrelenting.

Part two, yes no maybe?!?! I hope you guys enjoyed 😁Feedback is always more than appreciated !!

[ddarker-dreams]

this is my first time sending an ask on this blog, but bc of ur most recent fic, i need to say this:

i LOVE the way you write. like genuinely. the dialogue, the setting, the incredibly descriptive words, it creates such a haunting atmosphere, one where you know something is going to go wrong but you just dont know how wrong it'll be.

i also have never seen hunter x hunter in my life, but you have me wipped for chrollo like the way he's portrayed in ur fics makes me want to strangle him (affectionately)

anyway yeah thats all i wanted to say. please keep writing, ur absolutely amazing at it!!

(+cringefail darling is my favorite character you've written so far lmaoo)

i am gently cradling this ask in my hands ... thank you so very much i can't put into words how happy this made me 😭💖💖💖💖 sometimes i look at my writing style and go hm... idk what is happening here... so i really appreciate your kind words!!! thank you thank you.

especially for checking it out despite not having seen hxh !! i think this is one of my easier chrollo fics to understand if you haven't seen/read it. there's some hxh jargon toward the end but i intentionally wanted it to feel like a 'normal' experience for a majority of the story.

if you're ever looking for a new show to get into, i cannot recommend hxh enough!!!! it's well worth the investment. i'd pay someone to zap my brain so i could experience it for the first time again. god. so good. chrollo doesn't pop up until episode 41 but you see his silhouette in episode 4. it's worth the wait . watching him pop up for the first time is an instant dopamine boost.

[blackjackkent]

im so inspired and in lovvveee w u (as a fan!! no parasocial shenanigans here I swear 🫶)

When they said they weren't doing any more DLC for the game, I wasn't sad, actually. I noticed there's a big divide of peeps who like the game right? I realized this when I saw there were people who *always* play Durge and think it 100% hands down better than Tav, and seeing in the forum why people actually *liked* playing Tav over Durge, And it's like because Tav can be anyone with any story. Durge is really just a customizable pre-existing character (That's why they're under origin character, right?)

So that's what I realized the divide of people. There's always going to be certain people who prefer to play Something with a pre-existing story, people who don't enjoy the extra work of making your own character. But for people who do, the lack of DLC is disappointing but not a big deal. Because ask someone who has always enjoyed making her own characters, The end of a story is never really the end for me. And all that jibber jabber to say I see it in YOU too, and I looooooovvvve it! You're such a good writer and it's fabulous 🫶

though, as someone previously non-experienced with D&D, I do admit that makes imagining the future a little bit harder, despite, What really is probably one of the most Fanfiction-Friendly properties 😂

I did want to ask for advice on that if you have any to spare! Like, for example, I'd love to write about my own Tav and Karlach rolling around in Avernus, but I have no idea where to start even looking 😭

:O This was a fun message to receive! c: I appreciate so much that you like my writing and reached out. <3

You def make an interesting point about the Durge vs Tav experience. I think there's a lot of room for character headcanon even when you're playing Durge tbh (certainly I'm enjoying giving Rakha her own sense of personality and such), but you're right that it adds a bit more of a "built-in" framework for people who prefer that kind of experience and not having to think too much about the character details.

(It also, without giving too much away, is very representative of the character experience in BG1/2 - which was more of a Tav/Durge mix, really.)

But yeah, I also feel okay about the lack of DLC because there is lots of room to come up with the story I want outside of the events of the game. :)

As far as advice - I think you're asking specifically for advice on writing within the Forgotten Realms world and D&D sphere in general? Tbh I am not the hugest expert on the subject myself; there is a lot more FR lore than just what comes up in this series and I am by no means familiar with most of it.

My practical advice would be to point you towards the Forgotten Realms wiki, which is where I get most of my info that I can't get from the game's own dialogue. (Sadly it's a fandom.com wiki - if anyone else has other resources that particularly like for FR lore I would love your comments also!) There's lots of info in there that I've drawn from when needed for my fics.

On a more general level though - honestly I think my best advice is to get comfortable with the idea of getting lore wrong. We love to play in this sandbox but we're allowed to bring our own toys too. :D So if something feels like it'd make a better story by being a certain way, then fuckin go for it. :) Any reader who wants to make a stink about details being off isn't actually there to appreciate your story anyway. And the vast majority of readers are there in good faith to see what you're going to come up with and enjoy it. :)

(I've been thinking about this a lot in the context of writing "Open Your Eyes", because they're off to Calimport now and I have realized I know nothing about Calimport. XD So I've been studying the wiki a lot but I've also made an executive decision to not stress myself overly about it and focus on making the setting work for the story and not the other way around. I dont really mind if someone ends up letting me know (politely) that I missed the mark on something, but I'm not going to lose sleep over it if I'm pleased with the story regardless. :D )

I hope this is the sort of answer you were looking for! Sending very supportive vibes for your writing adventures also. c:

[alexanderlightweight]

Hello! Readmore anon again!

I just saw your last posts and the :readmore: you added to the necromancy and 7 sentence sunday posts doesn't seem to have worked (it did work on the giant nephilim one tho) I'm not sure what went wrong with it, did you hit enter after it? If it works it should show you the readmore break in the post editor already when you hit enter, maybe its different across different phones/phone apps, I'm really not an expert and I am notoriously bad at remembering to add readmores to my own writing so I have limited practical experience 😅

Either way I just wanted to let you know, and also really like the necromancy prompt!

ah thank you so much I really appreciate your first message and this one too! i was barely on tumblr for like three years and so a lot has changed and then i didn't really bother looking into what the changes were because i really didn't think i'd get more than maybe 2-3 prompts a wednesday (and i thought that much would be wishful thinking) so i really do need to go look it up at some point. and also, just in case it comes across as one i am not at all complaining about the amount of prompts i'm getting or got.

it was mostly just that i came back from a long long hiatus and didn't really expect anybody to remember or be interested in my fics lol. so the amount of prompts i am getting is surprising in the best way possible. the kind where i'm like 'OMG SO MANY SANDBOXES THEYRE ALL MINE NOW' kind of way.

like several times i could have combined prompts that went really well together and my bf asked my why i didn't and i was just like, 'and waste the potential for a new universe????? how could i??' and then they were just 'lumine... it's not a waste?' and me 'it would be waste!!!! think of the universes that i'll be missing out on, even if two prompts would go perfectly together, think of the creations i'll never know!' and then they kind of just sighed and called me adorable and left me to my antics. i dont really get it but thats okay.

When I have some time later i'll go try and fix those :read more: (i put the space so it wont activate) so i appreciate you telling me a lot. I didn't realize i needed to press enter so thats something to remember.

thank you! im glad you enjoyed that fic i had a lot of fun writing it

lumine

[quotidian-oblivion]

FF ask: if a fic title was "New day, old problems" what would you write in it?

Just came up with that title on the spot and low-key not that bad

I love that title, Vibey. I think i'll call on you next time when i need to title something. Spare the readers from dad jokes for once.

Hmm, let's see. I would write about... ugh i cant think. I'm not in my writers mood rn. Which ask number is this? It's no. 13.

Hmm, i'd write about Tim going through A Day. He keeps being pelted with problems left and right. WE assignments. Overdue tasks. A new case opened up. A mugging that ended up with him getting stabbed. Jason's in the manor today and everyone is on edge as they always are with him. Just problems ad problems and he's getting stressed and stressed.

And then Damian's making a fuss cuz of course he does, he's a little brother and little brothers are legally obligated to get on their older brothers' nerves. So Damian's berating him about something, maybe his inattentiveness cuz he got stabbed in a mugging.

Dick is sending glances at him, unsure of whether or not to interrupt cuz Tim's been real cagey after the whole Bruce gets lost in time fiasco. Speaking of Bruce, they still haven't had that conversation after returning back.

So Tim gets up and walks away from Damian while the kid is still talking and then he trips, but manages to keep from falling, but it shakes his stitches and he's in pain and gets reminded of when he lost his spleen, he was bleeding in the desert and of how alone he felt and how he still feels lonely. He thought everything would be alright. He thought it would all be okay after saving Bruce. But it's not. It's still not okay. He's still alone.

He's always.

Fucking.

Alone.

So he crumples to his knees and his shoulders start shaking and tears start dripping and then the whole Cave freezes. Dick asks what happened and Tim... Tim doesn't have the strength to reply. He bursts into sobs. Openly. He doesn't care anymore.

The whole family gathers around him now, unsure as to how they can reassure him, but Tim throws himself to the person nearest to him. Which was coincidentally Bruce. He sobs into Bruce's arms and the delicate stitches rip and he's bleeding on him as well. But he doesn't care. He's given up now.

It seems that Bruce doesn't care either cuz he isn't showing any signs of letting go. Instead, he starts stroking Tim's hair. And Tim melts.

Snot and tears and drool are leaking everywhere. Tim hasn't cried in a long time. He's almost forgotten the experience.

"What's wrong, chum?" Bruce asks quietly, still running his fingers through his hair.

Tim is about to shake his head, but stops. He doesn't care now, does he? He doesn't care about what answer he gives.

"I feel alone," he whispers, so so quietly. And so so honestly. He's never been this honest before.

Anyway, so then the batfam comforts him blah blah. Damian was actually worried about his brother and didnt know how to express it. Dick too was worried and didnt know how to fix their relationship again. Jason was sorry and he still is cuz it was about time he accepted Tim as his brother. And Bruce... Bruce just wasn't sure if Tim still wanted to be his son.

And so, the batfamily and Tim learn an important lesson. Communication! Which, yk, is something they're sorely missing.

~

Idk if this is too long, but eh. I'm not gonna turn this into a proper fic though, dont really feel like it. If you or anyone else wants to, then thats fine! Give credit where its due and all, but yeah. Hope you like it cuz i literally made it on the spot and im still going through my burnout so idk if this is really that good.

Also, i dont usually write in present tense, i just plan plotlines in it. I mainly write with past tense cuz thats the only tense i feel is easy to be consistent with for me.

Thanks for this question, Vibes, I really liked it!

[noemitenshi]

OH i love your thoughts, don't mind if I add mine hihi

troy chopping zombies arms off: absolutely you *are* a genius and it was hilarious watching that happen. also yes, i'm leaning towards 'he lied about killing alicia' too... maybe wishful thinking, who knows

the fucking name TRACY: yes hate it, still, still hate it so fucking much. and yes, no explanation is gonna help here unless i dunno the head injury fucked severely with his memories!?!? I think however I'll take tracy not being his bio daughter and already having that name when he met her as a possible explanation for future fics 😂🙃

agree that the whole 'tracy's mom' thing feels fanfic-y and not in a good way 😂😂 that's like the least imaginative thing they could come up with, if you ask me🙈🙈 (though VERY yes for Madison having killed her and I DO hope he means actually sliced her in half or shot her or caved her head in with the hammer and NOT was the indirect cause of her death 😈 (since, you know, they are interpreting the 'you took everything from me' etc *very liberally* so far - and don't get me started on everyone's faulty memory concerning s3 events. I mean yes it's been years so that could explain it but STILL so fucking jarring)

"so far everything I thought I'd be meh has actually been pretty good so it's very possible if that IS what's happened I'll still like it a lot but I want there to be more to it than that i think" quoting this one since i agree completely, nothing to add, just lots of furious nodding

Troy having a kid: Love it. Love the concept. Love the execution so far! (Also his kid going out during such a dangerous time bc she has never seen a tanker is such a Troy thing to do haha like yes, she's his). The way we see him show actual emotions once she's missing, the way he goes "I dont have time for this, Madison" bc now he's really done playing... we didn't get to see a lot of his true emotions in s3, just glimpses here and there. Mostly he was playing with people, trying to be as annoying as humanly possible. Which, don't get me wrong, super entertaining but yeah, makes it harder to know the real troy. So I'm soaking all that stuff up, feels like a treat! I do hope we get lots more of that.

absolutely losing it over "can't wrap my mind around him being a shagger" 😂😂😂 (I can't stop laughing). Ok so, yes, it's a bit difficult to imagine, especially bc Troy was so closed off emotionally in s3 (he did this weird thing where he appeared open, in his interactions with Madison and also with Nick (the "you stayed at the ranch bc you love me") for example, but it was another type of shield, I think, he used it to hide behind, paradoxically enough). And yeah, he def didn't have any type of uhm intimate experience. But I could see how being rescued may make it difficult to hide himself. Because it puts him in a super vulnerable position (physically). He's badly hurt, probably barely conscious - and wholly dependent on this person's goodwill. Probably not thinking he'll get it, not even entertaining this possibility and when he does, against all his expectations, it'll disarm him. Intrigue him. Which will inform his future interactions with that person. She'll have earned some trust in this or let's say... has earned interactions with him that aren't confrontational (his favorite thing behind which he hides haha) and also not glib (second favorite thing to hide behind. sometimes this one feels like *truth* or *openness* as indicated above). and she keeps defying his expectations in regards to hm exploiting his vulnerability (emotional this time). and then they'll have established a basis for a relationship. not saying it needs to be romantic from the get-go, of course. But Troy is known to fixate and I think in this case it would happen again. He does have a weakness for people that show him a modicum of respect/humanity after all... so yes he'd take to her like a puppy, I can see that happening, easily actually. (Personally I think this growing into romance would need to come from her cause I don't see Troy even being able to quite tell when he's in love with another person haha. And I guess them hanging out day and night will give them ample opportunity to get to know one another and also fall in love? Dunno I get bored thinking about the mechanics since it sounds so cliche, i mean the whole being rescued from the dam and then becoming a couple thing is... But it's not the most unbelievable thing). I have no idea what my point was XD probably that depending on how quickly after being rescued he became a dad i can see that actually happening. sure i'd like something more exciting and hey! maybe they'll surprise us but I'm not holding my breath. seems his wife/gf is just needed so he has new grievances with madison and also so tracy (ugh that name 🤢) can exist

ftwd 8.08 thoughts

the vibe here is basically 'i thought i'd hate it but actualy for the most part i stan'

- charlie shoulda been the character image for this ep, not luciana (love her tho and it's good to see her again)

- charlie surviving was something i felt was kinda unnecessary when I found out about it bc like, they got rid of so many characters in kinda meh ways but charlie had an easy death explanation right there that they coulda used but I actually love that she was brought back and only for a small amount of time tbh

like we get to see some great stuff with her - madison finding out she killed nick, troy talking to her about nick - but don't have to have her around for the rest of the season when we only have 4 eps left and an already large cast to give screen time

- I think charlie basically killing herself for the cause makes sense. like I dont feel like they had her kill herself bc they didn't know what else to do with her (tho I'm sure if she stayed alive they wouldn't have known what to do with her lmao)

- charlie defo looked too young and her hair was shit but I can forgive it for the good content

- the nick flashbacks :( I miss him

- was some drama on twt bc some ppl said kim dickens isn't the best actor and my two cents is they're kinda right sorry. she's not bad all the time but she's rarely absolutely incredible. she's probs the weakest actor of all our main characters and has been since the early days. I will say tho that the sometimes the meh dialogue doesn't do her any favours

- daniel saying how he's gonna strangle troy with his bare hands... ily king but plz don't do that 😭

- I love that charlie and luciana are basically daniel's daughters, love them all a lot

- already knew about nick's ashes from leaks and it was another thing I was a bit ??? about bc I felt like they were doing that for the sake of having a bunch of references in the final eps but I think they explained why they have his remains pretty well actually and it being part of why madison didn't stay pissed at charlie was good

- troy going around chopping off walker arms to make madison think she's seeing alicia everywhere is so 😭 like first of all I'm a genius bc I called it and second of all I said in that post that I thought it would be a bit silly but it kinda works actually. I hope the reason he's doing that is bc he lied about killing her (tho I can defo see him cutting arms even if he has actually killed her)

- the tracy stuff was the stuff I was most iffy on bc the idea of troy having a daughter and a significant other is crazy to me and I do still feel that way a little but I also loved the scenes about it a lot so.. I'm optimistic.

- something about seeing troy be genuinely worried about someone is great. I loved madison and troy both being out there while he was running around worried for his kid idk like something about him kinda dropping that 'I'm tough and in charge' thing for a moment while he was worried about tracy and while madison was literally right there with him is the shit I'm SO in this for like AHHH. need more of it

- troy's daughter being called tracy is still dumb as fuck and I don't think they're gonna be able to give an explanation for her being called that that makes it less dumb. (like even troy being the kid's adoptive dad and not biological dad and the kid was already born before he met the kid's mother would still be a stupid explanation bc what are the odds)

- I know troy said that tracy's mum is the woman who saved him but I really hope there's more to it than 'troy was saved by a woman, they fell in love and had a kid and then madison killed the mum at some point' like.. the madison killing the mum part is really interesting and I'm excited to know more (my initial thought a while ago was that she killed the mum when her and tracy were out somewhere and took tracy to padre but clearly tracy isn't with padre so now idk) but the other stuff feels very fanfic-y and not in a good way idkkkk

so far everything I thought I'd be meh has actually been pretty good so it's very possible if that IS what's happened I'll still like it a lot but I want there to be more to it than that i think

- I feel like I'm at such a weird point right now where I loved the tracy stuff we got in this ep and I'm very intrigued by who the mum and is and what happened to her but at the same time I'm like troy having a wife(?) and kid still doesn't fully track in my mind so I keep going back and forth on how I feel avout it 😭 I basically just can't wrap my mind around him being a shagger sorry idk how else to say that

actually seeing it play out will probs warm me up to it a lot more bc that's what's been happening so far. I think the main reason I still find it odd is just that it's hard to take the 12yr time gap into consideration like he's not s3 troy anymore yknow A LOT has happened since then and he's obviously older and has experienced shit (that I would kill for a ton more information on)

- looking forward to the next ep but currently it's screaming that troy won't be in it much/at all which is Sad but if that is the case I'd rather get that out the way sooner than later

[molusca]

she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do? throw herself onto a pyre? is she not allowed to feel lousy that this whole thing blew up in her face? because she's an adult and she made a mistake, she's not allowed to be sad or stressed? she's still an imperfect human. apologizing immediately usually means people are still sensitive to their own hurt of being called out because it's fresh and on their mind so it tends to slip into their apology, but if she had waited any longer to compose herself, you guys would probably have an issue with how long she took. also, in aaaaaallll of this, I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic? I've read her fic and I personally can't see anything wrong, although I will admit that yes, I'm a white ciswoman but I'd like to think I'm aware of negative tropes. but the only thing touted is "it made an mlm uncomfortable" but HOW??? honestly, I want to know! if anything so I can avoid doing the same thing! how is anyone meant to learn when you're not bringing up these points as often as you're explicitly laying out the problems in her apology and whatnot. I've seen 6 posts about how shit the apology was and for why and I've not once seen the original comment detailing why the fic was problematic, and I've been looking on twit, tumblr, insta, and ao3. if it's been deleted, why isn't anyone stating again and again what's wrong? also, if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it. there's one artist that's pretty popular on Twitter and I personally really hate they way they draw klance but it's all over my tl. I respect that person's art style and creativeness and keep on moving. other people enjoy it, good for them. and if I start reading something and get surprised with something I dont like, I leave! find people who write things you like and stop engaging with creators who's things you don't like, as far as I know no one is holding a gun to your head making you read problematic fic. also for as much as you rag on her for the words she used to apologize, you don't seem to be considering your own words when offering criticism. if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully? lastly, no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way (like you should do when it come to kl content creators you don't like). people sending hate in Taylor's defense are in the wrong I agree, and this isn't hate its critism its a discussion, but Taylor isn't responsible for, how many people did you say? 16k on twit? even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense. I see so many younger fans expecting perfection in their fandoms and that just isn't going to happen. yes we should be striving to be better but no one is ever going to be perfect. not you, not me, not the mlm person, not Taylor, not anyone on any side of this argument. the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.- 🦛

she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do?

im pretty sure i said its good that she realizes she handled it poorly. but she makes the whole apology about this, doesnt directly talk about the issues and i know someone went to her to talk about it. also, it took her a day to say something about it so it wasnt exactly immediate (in the sense people had already stopped talking about it but that doesnt mean they werent still bothered). the apology was directed at mlm, and i havent seen one saying it felt genuine. of couse she can be hurt but when you apologize to a marginalized group the focus shouldnt be your feelings, but the feelings of the ones you have hurt.

I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic?

she admits to be projecting on lance. so she makes him very femine and keith very masculine. and ok, gay couples like that do exist, but she is a woman projecting in this situation so this bothers people. putting mlm in this position is a harmful steriotype, bc it feels very heterosexual. this is a trope, it unfortunately happens a lot and its harmful. women need to be aware of what they are representing when drawing/writing mlm because well, real mlm are going to see it, and no one likes to feel like a fetish to others. and its not our place to question if the criticism is right or wrong when we are not mlm, so if you read this and think “but thats not a problem thats not a fetish etc” well, its not your place to judge that. theres more to it and you probably could get a better answer from a mlm sorry.

if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it.

please, lets not compare a minority pointing out harmful tropes with. something fucking illegal.

as you said, you are a cis woman, of course its not going to hurt you in this case. but if people are making harmful content its not a simple matter of “dont interact with it” because they will still be promoting it, other people are going to read it, and media influences how we see minorities so of course people will not like when they see bad portrayal of them. also, tumblr sucks so even if you want to just “dont interact with it” its hard because even after blocking you can still cross the content of someone. not sure how it works on twitter but anyway this discussion started on tumblr and tumblr doesnt stop people who were bothered by her to avoid her by blocking.

if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully?

i think she deleted the ask by now, but i dont remember the ask being hateful. i remember someone asking if she was a fujoshi, and another person mentioned that mlm didnt like the way she portrayals klance. i dont remember it being hateful. but again, she apologized for handling it badly. its just that she stops there.

no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way

ignoring world issues is a privilege. if someone is able to turn off from all the problems in the world, its a privilige. yes no one should talk aobut it all the time thats not even healthy, but to never talk about it is a privilege. thats what black people are saying, they cant just turn off from racism, so yes they are going to expect white people to do something. online honestly i cant do shit, i dont think anything i reblog here does a difference and i do what i can in my own country, but she has a plataform that could help bring awareness. again, its a privilege to be able to curate your social media to be a perfect happy place.

even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense.

maybe they wouldnt, but if people were doing this type of thing in my name, in my defense, i would at least say something about it idk. she cant control them but she makes nothing to show that she disagrees or look for the people being harassed to say something about it.

the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.

when it comes to simple things like “i prefer taller lance and i dont like taller keith” yeah, its fine to ignore people who draw taller keith and move on with your life or something like that. but we are talking about mlm, a real group of people, being upset for being portrayed in a harmful and steriotype way. its everywhere in fandom, and in real life. they cant escape from real life, and then they come to fandom where everyone wants some escapism and have to deal with more issues. its tiring

[echo-of-sounds]

I didnt mean to come off as salty and to adress the other anon you act like skinny people dont get body shamed at all. I have been bullied all my life for being "flat", a stick, had kids report me to the school for "having a ED" (which led to anorexia athletica) , told to eat more, then made fun of when I ate more because of my fast metabolism and pressured into sports by my family in hopes that i'd gain a few pounds. Now I realize that I have probably had it a lot easier then someone who is chubbier, I'm not denying that at all, especially with representation in mainstream media. But Fan fiction isn't mainstream, which is great because people can choose what to represent. But almost any time (now or from what I see) any time thighs ass or hips are mentioned it tends to be followed by something along the lines of thicker is better, and Im not saying that all chubby reader fics should be taken down or not continued to be made per requests but if you say something along those lines I feel you should adress the other side too. And I could be completely wrong, as a person I am still learning and growing but that's just how I feel. Also to the writer sorry for starting a debate probably my last message since I can't explain what I would like to see you write 😅✋ enjoy your work though.

I’m sorry you had those experiences. A very close friend of mine used to go through the same things. Sadly, no matter what, people will find something to make fun of others about, especially for girls/women. No one should be bullied or feel ashamed of their body. There’s absolutely no debating that.

That anon never said anything about being bulled. They were only talking about their experiences within fandoms. Which, I will say, is true. I read a lot of those same lines when I was growing up. And you can’t equate someone’s personal experience about fanfiction to getting bullied because they are not the same thing.

I believe I have never said “thicker is better.” But if I have, I am truly sorry. One body type isn’t any better than another. And please never feel like your body isn’t enough. That will never be true.

However, you should also keep in mind that the writers (or at least I am) are chubbier or not the skinniest person out there. Two different friends and I read fanfiction growing up. Our bodies were never once the type described in the pieces. It made it severely hard to relate to. And for years, that’s just what we had to deal with to enjoy fanfiction. Because it was either that, or not read it at all.

Nowadays, us writers want to make content for us and for people like us who haven’t gotten it in the past. We’re choosing to represent ourselves because we found a community and a place that not only accepts it, but encourages it. We’re not snuffing skinny people. We’re not imagining a character only loving chubby or thick readers. We’re not ‘picking’ a chubby reader with stretch marks or a bouncing tummy. That’s just who we are. We want to describe ourselves because we finally can.

And if writers can’t describe themselves in what they write, then they probably won’t enjoy writing that much anymore.

[fictionfixations]

Writing From Experience except i get really personal

so.

ive met the concept of.. writing based off of experiences or things youve done

like uh, theres this fic im reading where theres two camp counselors in a summer camp

and the writer went to summer camp

ww

I could try? i dunno its an idea, but I have fuckin 4+ docs of unfinished works and oneshots that I still gotta do but I dont have the motivation????

but the thing is is that nothing ive done is book worthy- it is not chobblesome

I mean, I dont do anything.. I play games all day and stay inside???

Uh. I've been to a wedding but it was boring and I don't remember what happened

I've gone out of state before and plan to go out of country (except I've been procrastinating for years) but I dont remember anything about it

I mean. I've been in foster care before ? People write a lot of foster care stories and like.. I mean I somewhat remember what it was like, but it was only for a few days and I only went to one home before eventually coming back to my actual home with my parents n stuff ? it was kinda a situation that I actually didn't understand or comprehend because I was pretty young but now I kind of do? It was kinda a little more serious then I thought as little kid me..? (uh.. the police got involved and it was a huge fucking mess. I got to be in a police car tho and they bought me mcdonalds so that was fun.)

There wasn't.. anything interesting that happened there. It would be boring. Bro so many foster care fics are about the teen and I'm just sat here with my POV of the child u-u

i mean though... sure.. children are kinda dumb, i wont sugarcoat it

itd probably get annoying fast

uhm. the only other thing i guess would be interesting is.. well nothing really, its just that I have a shit load of trauma packed into me that would make a bad and very triggering fic

TW: Mention of gr00ming, miNOr aaAaAAA mention of the act of kermit sewer slide sobs

um. it doesnt really affect me anymore because I've just kinda gotten used to it, but so. grooming. woo pair that with manipulation

hold on let me just find a character and traumatize the fuck out of them haha wooo does that count as dead dove do not eat? if i .. do a really dark fic where a character goes through ..what i did, except i just overdramatize it a little bit and exaggerate a lot to the best of my ability (i still have DMs of that time lmao but I don't think I can ever get used to those, it kinda makes me very uncomfortable.)

would it even be readable? I dont fucking know

The thing is is that everyone thinks that minor/minor sexually is fucking wrong

and I'd agree

but then I can't really ventfic lmao imagine I get hate for doing minor/minor even though its a fucking ventfic where I project onto characters -

lMAOOOO also probably really cursed

but then so id have to do it to an adult.. ?

bro which fandoms am i in that have a toxic relationship that i can write?

like nONe

unless i made one up??

bro sobs

actually i think the guilt tripping ive gone through has been done before in a disc duo but its like 'but arent we friends' or some shit like that in somewhere?? idk

would you guys be okay if i did a ship fic? i dont i cant do OCs man

but i dont know if ill even do it its just thought.

bro the toxic thing that comes to mind is dream and wilbur because dream being a manipulative piece of shit while wilbur is one of like the only characters i can and am comfortable writing the POV of besides the MINORS and then theres hermitcraft with its really healthy community sobs

i dont think wilburs boundaries are even comfortable with nsfw??

bro i dont even know if i can write anything sexual, ive never done it before

id probably write it as anonymous but not dream and wilbur?? id ont fucking know

how do i ventfic if i dont have a people

i mean jschlatt and quackity- is that pumpkin duo? id ont fucking know

they're... toxic..?? ive never written either jschlatt or quackity but you know the deal, jschlatt would probably be the user and quackity the victim.

oh fuck why can i just imagine it i can see it. (why does it work?)

fuck

agh

im.. probably going to have to reference back to the DMs to remember how things went and trigger the shit out of myself

my mental health boutta go to shit haha

anyway im gonna just... if i ever write it i'll try to put it on anonymous

i dont know

my first anonymous fic woo. and kinda trauma dump ig

i dont wanna be shamed for like

i dunno.

beIng a SLUT hAHAH -

oh i think i reached uncomfortable territory for me.

i think though that

it would probably be a dead dove

honestly thinking about it

trying to write minor on minor makes me feel sick

thats funny

guess adult on adult it is .

thats not really any better

also i dont know quackity or jschlatts boundaries sobs

do i just not do sexual shit? i dont fucking know

nevermind their boundaries arent really comfortable with that sobs

quackitys fine with fanfic but jschlatt i dont think it issss ??? GUYS HOW DO I DO VENTFIC WITHOUT INTRUDING ON A BOUNDARY

and i just

bro theres like no other character im comfortable with writing

do i really want to say 'fuck it' and just do it anyway? well no not really???

how do i find characters i can project onto but not ocs because i cant do that (ocs wont help me, honestly the thought is just worse in my head aaAa)

sobs.

[sabrielismyotp]

Hiii. Just here to slap a bit of personal experience onto this: (WARNING: said experience involves talk about consent play, BDSM and other various things, including porn, if any of this bothers you, scroll on.)

So, heres the deal, if you wanna change the way visual porn depicts women, I'm good with that, and if ya wanna change the porn industries workers and ya know, regulate it better, I'm good there too, but getting rid of porn as a whole would make the lives of people like myself a whole lot less... Nice.

Ya see, something, I'm not at all sure what, it could've been any number of things, but either way, something that wasn't porn (because I had not been exposed to porn yet) made me look at sex in a very VERY fucked up way before I even really understood what sex was, I'd read about it (in the clinical way), and I'd heard about it, but I hadnt been exposed to porn yet, so I didn't really know what it was like.

My first sexual fantasy, was an honest to god rape fantasy, no, I DON'T know why, and honestly, it fucking terrified me, I didn't want to explore my sexuality AT ALL because of it. Then, well, I met fanfiction, and from fanfiction, I met porn, and from there, I learned at least a bit about BDSM, the most important bit?

Safe, Sane, and Consensual, the rules we play by. Reality wise, I've got a serious consent play kink, and I'm not sure why, I do however know, that if I HADN'T come across porn, I wouldn't even know that was actually a thing. Safe words exist to keep one safe in a situation like that, and that is more important than anything to me.

Now, you can bite my head off and bitch at me for my kinks, kink-shame me all you want, I very well know that rape is wrong, and a fucking horrible thing to do to someone, its why I make damn sure to have safe words and actions established. Because safety is fucking important, but how the fuck is someone supposed to learn about safety when they can't get ahold of the right information easily? Because if I hadnt been reading porn, I'd probably never have known about the precaution or even fucking thought of one.

I'm very much pro pornography, but at the same time, I'm all for CHANGING it, video porn as it is currently, could use work, as could the industry, but if you get rid of ALL porn, your including fanworks, and fics, which, made pretty fuckin clear to me that I'm not too far gone to ever be a good person. (Because trust me, it was touch and go there for a while. It took me years of research, continued thinking, and a whole metric ton of coming to terms with that part of myself's continued existence for me to even ACKNOWLEDGE to anyone but myself that it was there.)

Getting rid of porn, would likely condemn people like me to believing we're way too far gone, so ya know, just a bit of food for thought, if I didn't know I'm not entirely a freak, I'd definitely be a very different person.

(I'd also like to point out that the reverse of my rape fantasies were a thing too, and it was, beyond confusing. I'm a switch with a kink that can go so VERY wrong if you aren't careful. I don't know which confused me more, the rape fantasies or the other. Theyre both pretty fucking terrifying when you're 11 and don't even understand your own body yet.)

So, on the off chance that other people like me exist and are just as fucking confused as I was, don't go for getting rid of porn, aim to change it, because honestly, I didn't start watching porn until I was like 14, and I still prefer reading it because I believe in and live by safety first rules. Personally, I'd love to change the video porn industry in general as well as their depictions of women, but dont lump ALL porn together and call to get rid of it. Because written porn, in more cases than not, can actually teach a bit, and isn't usually depicted unhealthily towards ANYONE.

Porn can help some people to not be dick bags (myself probably included), but ya need ta do it right. Fanworks and fics arent usually wrong in how they do it.

(END WARNING)

this is why there is no longer lab research on pornography.

“Countless studies have since shown that exposure to pornography desensitizes men to violence against women, often shaping their sexuality in such a way that they become unable to experience arousal without some element of dominance or violence. The evidence has been so damning that, at times, universities have refused to allow further research on the topic. When a study shows detrimental effects that cannot be reversed, ethics boards will often refuse similar studies to go on. This has happened repeatedly with research on the effects of pornography.”

-Maya Shlayen, Whose Porn, Whose Feminism