#like do we need to have five thousand people here today bc i don’t fucking think so

[hellfireeddiemunson]

i just want to have a nice day off and first day of the new year. why have there been people here since 11am. GO AWAY

[olliedollie1204]

by the book

Virgil didn’t think this day could surprise him further. He was wrong.

Pairings: Platonic Virgil and Logan, Romantic Moceit, Familial Moceit and Logan

Word Count: 3,268

Tags: Librarian Virgil, Kid Logan, building towards eventual Romantic Anamoceit

sequel to my last fic for future reference, bc i’m gay and library meet cutes are ESPECIALLY cute

(Read it on AO3!)

If you had asked Virgil how he’d be spending his afternoon, he wouldn’t have said this.

Usually at this time of day, he’d be finishing up whatever book he’d decided to read during his shift the night before. He’d take his lunch break in the back (which consisted of listening to music as he debated what book to bring in the next day), and by the time he was back on the reference desk he’d be ready to spend the rest of his shift trying to beat his high score on Temple Run.

Today, though, his pattern seemed to be disrupted just a bit. Probably by the fact that a five year old child with a mouth that ran a mile a minute had come up to him unsupervised, asked for his help finding a very specific book, and basically kidnapped him back to the children’s section, where the two of them had spent the last hour doing anything and everything that Logan wanted.

Virgil tried to summon up an ounce of irritation at that fact. He was, overall, unsuccessful.

Right now, Logan was in the bathroom (after giving Virgil an amusingly childish explanation of how he didn’t need his dads to help him go potty anymore) so Virgil was taking the time to straighten up the game table from their activities. Logan had moved on to the library’s Lego collection, so he figured it was alright to put the checkers, dominos, and Connect Four pieces back into their proper boxes.

“Fuck,” he muttered softly as he dropped a handful of game pieces onto the floor. He leaned over to scoop them up, but to his surprise there was already a hand there to grab them.

“Maybe no swearing in the playzone, okay, Virgil?”

Virgil raised his head, giving Dot a guilty look.

“Sorry,” he replied. He always had to fight the urge to call her ma’am, considering she was only a few years older than him.

Dot waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. I know you’re not used to being near the kids, but something tells me you weren’t given much of a choice today, huh?”

She smiled and nodded her head toward Logan’s book basket on the floor. Virgil huffed a laugh.

“Yeah. You know he walked all the way to the ref desk?”

“I watched him go,” Dot replied. As Virgil’s eyes widened, she shrugged. “The library really isn’t that big, sweetie. I can see your desk from here.”

Virgil furrowed his brow. He straightened up in his seat, turned his head almost all the way around, and— oh, huh. There was his desk, half obstructed by the shelves and book displays, but easily within sight of the children’s section.

“Guess I don’t look up that much,” he admitted. Dot snorted as she helped him close the last box, grabbing them all and sliding them back into place on the toy shelf.

“Definitely wouldn’t kill you to look at the world around you once in a while,” she agreed. Virgil felt a small burst of anxiety at the notion that she was reprimanding him for not doing his job well enough, but her kind smile and teasing tone made him relax just a bit.

“The book club’s just about done, by the way,” she continued, standing up and walking back toward the children’s desk. “Keep an eye out for his dads for me, hon? I’ve got shelving to do.”

Virgil hummed in assent, now focused on watching the bathroom door as he waited for Logan to exit. While he waited, he saw a group of people spilling out the community room and dispersing through the library.

Keeping one eye on the bathroom door, Virgil bent over to move the young boy’s book basket from the floor to the table. He collected the two baby name books in his arms; just as Logan said, they were too big and heavy to fit into the already overstuffed basket.

He glanced back at the door, a sudden twinge of worry hitting him when he still didn’t see Logan exit. He spun around, ready to scan the library to make sure he hadn’t wandered off again—

And immediately Virgil tripped over his own feet, falling to his knees on the thin colorful carpet. He fumbled the books for just a moment before they, too, fell from his arms and slammed loudly against the floor.

Virgil hoped that his face wasn’t as red as it felt, but he knew he was probably fooling himself.

“Are you okay?”

Virgil nodded, eyes on the floor as he quickly tried to pick up the books. “I’m fine.”

“Are you lying?”

This voice was different from the first, and that fact combined with the strange phrasing made Virgil’s brow furrow in confusion. “No, of course I’m not—”

He looked up, and now his face was certainly as red as it felt (possibly even redder), because he found himself staring at two of the most handsome men he’s ever seen outside of his romance novels.

“Um,” Virgil said eloquently. “I—”

His words cut off as the first man (tall, heavyset, with a pair of wire rimmed glasses on his face) abruptly grabbed his arm, helping him keep his balance as he slowly stood up again.

“Did you enjoy your vacation?” he asked, and Virgil had half a second to wonder if he somehow got a concussion before the man finished, “Because that was quite a trip you just took!”

Virgil felt his jaw drop a bit at the… frankly atrocious pun, holy shit. The other man seemed disappointed but not surprised, whapping the first man’s arm with no real strength.

“Please excuse my husband,” he said formally, his dark eyes shining out from his lean, angular face. “He somehow thinks punning at random strangers is both appropriate and appreciated.”

“It worked on you, didn’t it?” the first man interjected, wrapping an arm around the second man and giving him a kiss on the temple. The second man huffed, but Virgil was quickly understanding that his irritation was mostly for show.

“My name is Janus,” the second man continued, reaching a hand out to shake Virgil’s hand. “And this is my husband Patton.”

It took Virgil an inordinately long second to respond, but he finally managed to shift the books in his arms and shake Janus’ hand.

“It’s, um, very nice to meet you,” he replied. God dammit, did his voice sound weird? Why did his voice sound weird? Did he get a concussion? “Uh—” 

“Oh my gosh, are you expecting, too?”

Virgil cut himself off as the first man, Patton, gasped in delight. Virgil’s brow furrowed before he could help it, but after a moment he realized Patton was pointing toward him, toward the books in his arms. The baby name books in his arms.

Virgil’s eyes widened. “Oh! Um, I—”

Janus gave an overdramatic groan. “Please, Patton, I thought we came here to get away from all of the baby talk.”

“No, I know, but—” Patton replied, waving his hands in excitement. “We did this to meet new people with common interests, and look! A new person with a common interest, right?” 

The corner of Janus’ mouth twitched. For some reason, Virgil very much wanted to see his full smile. “You’re right, darling. Maybe if we give our new friend a moment to speak, we can arrange an outing together.”

“Please say yes,” Patton interrupted, and for a moment Virgil considered doing whatever the hell he asked for as long as he kept talking. “Please say yes! I wanna get to know more new parents in the area!”

“We’re hardly ‘new parents’, dear. We’ve done this before.”

“Yeah, but not for years, honey. And not with twins!”

Oh. Oh. The pieces clicked together in Virgil’s head embarrassingly slowly.

“Wait,” he interjected, causing both men to look at him. “Are you—”

A small gasp came from behind them.

“Daddy! Papa!”

Just like that, Logan darted forward, diving in front of Virgil to wrap his arms around Patton and Janus’ knees.

Patton’s face somehow broke into an even larger smile at his son’s sudden appearance. “Hey, kiddo! Are you okay?”

Logan nodded, bouncing on his heels. “I found the books! I found the books!”

“What books, professor?” Janus asked, resting his hand on the top of Logan’s head in a move that was both fond and protective.

Logan reached up, yanking at the hems of his parents’ shirts. “I found the books for the babies’ names! Mr. Virgil helped me!”

Both men paused for just a moment. Their eyes flickered between Logan, to Virgil, and back again; after a beat, their eyes went wide in understanding.

“Did you do that for us, Logan?” Patton asked, picking Logan up and hoisting him onto his hip. His hands were large and calloused, and yet he somehow managed to hold Logan like he was made of glass. “How did that go?”

Logan took a deep breath.

“I told Mr. Virgil I need to name my baby brothers and he went with me to find some baby name books and I learned that there are ten thousand and one names and that names even mean things and people can name their babies after books and then he went with me back to the playzone and I told him about the cephalopods and we played Checkers and I built a robot with Legos and now you’re here!”

Virgil watched the two men as Logan spoke, intrigued and impressed that they seemed to be catching every single word.

“Well, it sounds like you had a lot of fun, kiddo,” Patton said fondly. He smiled back at Virgil, but his words were directed to Logan as he asked, “Is Mr. Virgil holding your books for you?”

Logan nodded and made grabby hands at Virgil, who belatedly realized he was still standing with Logan’s books clasped against his chest like a shy teenager in a coming of age movie.

“Oh, um,” he stammered, fumbling with the books before showing the two men their titles. “He, um, he wanted to get these two. I know they’re a little dense, but—”

“But our little brainiac asked you to help him find the biggest books possible, right?” Janus asked, his hand coming up to tweak Logan’s earlobe. “We’re used to it.”

Virgil felt a smile growing on his face. “Yeah. And, uh, for what it’s worth, I don’t think they’ll be that hard to read. It’s just lists of names, it’s not, like, in-depth etymology or anything.”

“What’s etymology?” Logan asked.

Patton made a slightly panicked noise, pulling Logan closer to him. “Isn’t that the study of bugs?”

“That’s entomology, dear,” Janus replied kindly. “Etymology is the study of words.”

“Oh,” the first man replied, giving Virgil a relieved grin. “Well, I think Logi’s already got quite a few words under his belt, huh?”

Virgil gave a small laugh; it was obvious Logan always spoke like he was training to become an auctioneer. “All that reading’s gotta go somewhere, I guess. Do you guys come here often?”

Too late, he realized how painfully close his words sounded to a cliche pick up line, but thankfully neither man found it weird.

“We just moved to the area, actually,” Patton replied easily. “I guess that means you’re a librarian, then?”

Virgil nodded, gesturing awkwardly behind them as he replied, “Yep, I’m a reference librarian. I work at the, uh, reference desk.”

Janus slowly raised one eyebrow. “How interesting. Logan, I believe we agreed that you didn’t have to come to our book club meeting as long as you would stay in the playzone, am I correct?”

Both men looked at the small boy, who was beginning to look very sheepish. “Well, technically—”

“Technically I came here first,” Virgil interjected, drawing all three of them to look at him in surprise. “I was making my rounds around the library, Logan asked me where to find the baby name books, and I thought that if it was better for me to take him to them than to risk him walking off by himself.”

Logan looked at him with wide eyes, but kept his mouth shut. Smart kid.

“Oh!” Patton said, pleasantly surprised. “Well, that’s alright then, since you stayed with a librarian the whole time.”

“And I got the babies’ name books!” Logan added, seemingly trying to move the conversation away from his and Virgil’s lie.

“And you got the babies’ name books,” Janus agreed. He held his hands out, and Virgil transferred the weighty books into his arms. “Oh, goody, this one has a thousand pages. How fun.”

“It does sound fun!” Patton added cheerfully, swaying Logan back and forth. “We have nine months for the babies to come, and a thousand pages over nine months is…”

“About 111 pages a month,” Virgil said quickly. “Divided by 30 days, that means you just have to go through about 4 pages a day.”

Patton gaped at him, Janus’ lips quirked into the tantalizing near-smile, and Logan— well, Logan looked at him like he’d just spoken another language. Which, to a five year old, he might as well have.

“Are you… are you a robot?” Logan asked seriously, causing all three men to smile at each other in amusement.

“I don’t think I’m a robot,” Virgil replied, but to his surprise Janus hummed in suspicion.

“I don’t know,” he said slowly, leaning into Logan’s ear to whisper conspiratorially, “Doesn’t that sound like something a robot would say?”

Logan gasped, causing Patton to giggle.

“Hey, Logi! How does a robot sit down?”

The small boy paused, looking at his dad with a wary distrust. “Daddy, this better not be a joke.”

Patton merely grinned. He gave Virgil a quick wink before finishing, “On his ro-bottom!”

Both Logan and Janus groaned, Logan flopping over in Patton’s arms. “Daddy! Your jokes are not funny!”

“Oh, they’re not?” Patton asked, reaching up to quickly scribble his fingers against Logan’s stomach. “Then why are you laughing?”

Logan burst into giggles, wiggling and kicking his feet. “I’m not!”

Janus and Virgil shared an amused look at the scene of total adorableness happening in front of them, before Janus cleared his throat.

“Okay, okay,” he interrupted, placing a hand on his husband’s arm and allowing his son to breathe. “Let’s take this outside of the quiet library, alright, dear?”

Patton smiled back at him, reaching around to cover Janus’ hand with his own. The three of them there looked so— so perfect, Virgil realized. They looked like a perfect family.

“Well,” Virgil said abruptly, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’m glad I could help your son today. If you have any more questions, Ms. Dot at the children’s desk can help you find what you’re looking for.”

Patton blinked once before his eyes went wide. “Oh, gosh, you’re still working right now, aren't you? I’m so sorry we took up so much of your time—”

“No!” Virgil insisted. “No, no, no, it was no trouble at all, really.”

“Well, regardless, we thank you very much,” Janus added, shifting so he could also grab Logan’s book basket from the game table. “I expect my family and I will be coming here again in the near future, and I hope we’ll see you again.”

Virgil felt his face go warm. He knew Janus just meant it as a friendly, regular-library-visitors-getting-to-know-the-staff kind of way, but for a moment, he couldn’t help but imagine what if they actually meant they wanted to see him again.

“Yeah,” was all he said, nodding once. “It was nice meeting you all. Bye, Logan.”

He gave a small wave before walking past them, moving back toward his desk with a distracted feeling in his head. Maybe if he skipped some of the boring heterosexual sex scenes, he could still finish his novel of the day before his shift ended— 

“Mr. Virgil!”

He froze at the sound of Logan’s tony voice calling his name. As he turned, he saw as Logan managed to wriggle out of Patton’s hold, trotting over to him.

“Logan!” Patton called, making an apologetic face at Virgil as he and Janus followed their son. “I’m sorry, I think he just wanted to say something else—” 

“I really wanna say thank you for the babies’ name books,” Logan interrupted, screeching to a halt just in front of Virgil. “And— and thank you for the, um, the checkers, and the Legos, and— and—”

“Hey,” Virgil interrupted softly, kneeling down and smiling at Logan. “You are very welcome, kid. I’m happy I could help.”  

“And I wanted to know if please can I come play with you again when my dads and me come back to the li-berry, please?” Logan finished in a rush of breath, looking at Virgil for just a second before his gaze dropped to the floor.

Virgil hesitated. “...Oh.”

“Logan, darling,” Janus interjected gently, “Mr. Virgil might not be able to play with you anytime—”

“Actually,” Virgil cut him off, eyes darting up to the grownups before he gave Logan an awkward smile. “I, uh, I can’t guarantee I’ll always be able to play in the playzone, but if you wanna come say hi and… and tell me about the cephalopods, I’ll love to hear about it.”

Logan’s eyes widened, and he broke into a delighted grin. “Really?”

“Really?” Patton repeated, sounding gratefully surprised. “I mean, if you have to work, we wouldn’t want to do distract you—”

“I… don’t actually do much work when I’m at the reference desk,” Virgil admitted. “I usually just sit back there reading all day.”

“Except for when you make your rounds around the library, like you did earlier today,” Janus corrected, giving Virgil a look that revealed he 100% knew Virgil had lied earlier.

“Yep,” Virgil replied anyway, eyes locked onto Janus’ as he gave a slightly cheeky grin. “Except for that, of course.”

Janus stared him down, but didn’t call his bluff; instead he smirked, slow and satisfied, and his smile was somehow even better than Virgil had pictured it.

“Well,” he finished, “the sooner we check these books out, the sooner we can read them. Logan?”

He held out the book basket, and Logan took it with all of the determination of a child on a mission.

“I have to check out the books because I remember-ized the number,” he informed Virgil seriously.

“Well, it’s a good thing your dads have you, then, isn’t it?” Virgil replied. The big grin Logan gave him was only rivaled by the giant one Patton was giving him over Logan’s shoulder.

“Alright, kiddo,” Patton said, placing a hand on Logan’s back and ushering him toward the check out desk. “‘Read’ the way! Get it? Like ‘lead the way’?”

Logan groaned. “Daddy!”

Virgil laughed to himself, watching as the three of them walked away. Just before they turned the corner to the checkout desk, Logan turned around, waving like Virgil was miles away rather than a few yards. Patton and Janus waved too, and something about the way the two of them were looking at Virgil— friendly, fond, and grateful, all mixed into one— made his stomach doing a rather interesting acrobatic move.

It wasn’t until later, when he was safe behind his desk again, that he realized what that feeling was. That blush-causing, stammer-inducing, stomach-flipping feeling. It was a feeling he was well familiar with— not because he’d felt it before, but because he’d read about it.

In his romance novels.

Virgil froze, staring blankly ahead of him.

Ah. Well. Okay then.

He was fucked.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 2557

what did i even do today?

ah

i talked to student today for a bit before she went to take an exam she didn't realize was today, but she was getting anxious about it and about her grades in the class but this is the class of hers in which the professor is clearly a fuckin moron, so. i told her to not worry.

i took a shower eventually, and i ended up pulling shit out of the cardboard boxes in my room? i just felt like i needed to get them out of there, and i'll probably move my chair back to my desk tomorrow. so that'll be nice to have that back. but i was looking for my dice bags bc new d&d game started today and i wanted to bring dice to show them to friends.

game was fun! my water genasi is sassy and curious and hates being dirty, and the cleric is a bit of a wimp, the undead himbo is exactly a himbo, and the other guy is i dunno, actually. and there's an npc called severus? the only reason i remember that is because i made a bad joke about how his name was severus because they had to sever him from the tree where they found him.

it was a lot of fun. i deescalated a situation with a water elemental by being like "dude, my house also got wrecked, but give it a little bit and it'll be back to normal." because this randomass island got fuckin??? dropped??? somewhere and i made my way to shore to ask questions because this fuckin island came out of literally nowhere and is now sitting on top of my house, and a ton of other peoples' houses, including that of the water elemental that went on a rampage on this island.

so the island. moves. there's a guy, who lives on the island, who lives for a few weeks and then dies, and then comes back to life and when he dies the island disappears and when he comes back to life it reappears somewhere else. and when the island disappears, the stuff it landed on goes immediately back to how it was. fuckin wild.

also?? everyone's memories get erased. except. for a few people. which we didn't get why. so we went on an Adventure to the crypts under the city and we found a double-locked crypt and it wound up being. a lot. and when we went back up to the keep i looked in my shit and i had a key?? and everyone else did too??? and i was like, "the fuck???????" and then the island shifted a little to the left and it fuckin shifted on us but we all remembered. so we're in over our heads. most definitely.

after game, i went with my dad to get fribbles, and i brought him back to his car and i went to the bank and i sat after over to the side and i bought dice. during game i was looking for dice because id gone through the ones i brought and was like "hmmmm, i need some more" so i went and looked for them and i found this one site where everything was on sale, like, disgustingly on sale and i bought 30 sets of dice for $120. that doesn't happen. that includes shipping.

so i'm pretty excited about my dice haul. it's been a long time.

and i've been watching tv since i got home, mostly murder she wrote because it's a fantastic show. and i've been kind of working on my paper too. because i need to break down that last section so i can finish this thing up. i don't have a lot to do left, so i gotta work overtime on it in the next two days because i want it done before the wedding on saturday. it's already taken me way longer than i wanted because i wanted to get it done five thousand years ago. and then i also have the rest of my matlab to get done, and i hate everything because i have so much to do and zero brain power.

please, just kill me. great.

i did talk to joel a teeny bit though, and i'm happy i got to talk to him briefly, and then earlier i sent some memes to FF about star trek and they came back on their lunch break and was like "okay here's the deal" and they talked for twenty minutes about how the post i sent could possibly be canon and it was so awesome and it made me wildly happy because like??? focus and interest??? fun information???? yes, please. i love them.

i love joel and i love my FF and i love my new friends and i just want to sleep for ten thousand years.

[trashinaglass-archive]

Movie Star

Y/n is sick of Tom thinking he’s the shit

Request: Hi can I request kinda an angsty imagine kinda based on when Tom said was talking about his dad and acting like a “movie star”, and basically he says something really pretentious to the reader about how important he is and he is taking the fame to his head, and she gets upset and he realizes he messed up. Thank you loads :)

A/n: I’m here for the angst. I hope it’s good bc this is a good concept

Tom was the best boyfriend you could’ve ever asked for. Kind, loving, understanding, and grounded- the latter being the most important to you. You felt the responsibility of keeping him grounded laid on you; you were the one he cared about most. The opinion he cared about the most.

You didn’t really worry with a few comments he made- he was hardworking in a career that didn’t allow him much privacy. Of course he’d get angry from time to time, act like an asshole every now and then, but it was when it turned from mean comments toward others to praiseful comments toward himself than you began to get really worried about him.

“I just want a girlfriend. I’m tired of being single,” Sam groaned as you and the brothers were sat in a bar.

“Look, bro- all we need is for someone to recognize me, and you’re golden,” Tom suggested.

You raised an eyebrow at the comment, “or you can be yourself and find a girl that likes you for who you are.”

“I’m just saying, I’m kind of a big deal,” he said, shrugging his shoulders making you roll your eyes.

“Calm down, movie star,” you told him, the word rolling off your tongue with disgust. Tom immediately shut down, sipping his beer quietly as you continued to talk to Sam.

Hearing the words come out of his mouth pissed you off endlessly. You wanted nothing more than for him to create something he’s proud of, to feel proud of himself, but you needed him to be humble about it as well. You were sure that he had brought himself back, no ridiculous comments to follow for a while, but lo and behold, amidst the recent film reviews, he found himself excited again.

You were currently driving home after a long meeting in London, answering the phone when Tom called.

“Hey, gorg,” you answered.

“Hey- how long are you going to be before you get back?” He asked, sounding excited about something.

“Um,” you said softly, glancing at the clock. “25 maybe? If traffic stays good. What’s up?”

“I was out today, shopping with Harrison and Tuwaine, and I saw something that I think you’ll really love,” he told you.

You let out a sigh hearing his words. “Tom, as much as I love you and your gifts, it’s getting to be a bit much,” you tried to break it to him gently. He’d ‘been out shopping and gotten something for you’ just about every day for a week and a half now. Maybe it would be okay if they were simple five dollar gifts, but they cost hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars. You never were the one to tell people how they should spend their money, but it was getting to be crazy.

“What do you mean?”

“Tom, you’re spending way to much money on gifts for me. I don’t need a new piece of jewelry every day,” you explained to him. “I appreciate that you think of me like that, but don’t waste your money on these gifts for me when you could use it for so many other things.”

“You’re not even going to ask what it is?” He replied, his voice sounding hurt or angry.

“No because I’m scared of what you’d tell me. For all I know it’ll be £10,000, and I can’t even fathom you spending that on me.” The line went quiet as the words came out of your mouth. The silence making your heart sink. “Tom, tell me you didn’t spend ten grand on a piece of jewelry.”

More silence, making your heart sink even further. “No,” he said quietly, causing your suspicion rise.

“How much did it cost?” You asked him, wanting to know the final verdict.

“Love, it’s not the price that matters,” he tried to reason.

“No, tell me, Tom. Stop fucking stalling.”

He let out a breath, knowing you were going to be upset, “thirty-five.”

“Grand?” You asked for confirmation, your jaw dropping. Tom let out a quiet ‘mhm’ to answer that your fear was indeed correct. “Thomas Stanley-“

“Y/n, it’s fine! I wouldn’t be buying you things if I couldn’t afford it,” he defended himself. Part of him wanted to be mad that you weren’t jumping for joy, but the other part of him just wanted you to understand it isn’t hurting him financially. “I’m fucking Spider-Man- I get paid more in a day than normal people get in an entire year. I have so much money, I could buy you the entire city if you wanted it. Have you seen the expensive fucking suits I’ve been wearing? The watches? I’m not broke- buying that £35,000 bracelet was nothing to me. I’m probably the richest person in Kingston right now, you ought to be happy about that.”

You bit your lip, not believing what he’d actually said. “No one gives a shit how much money you make, movie star. I sure as hell don’t, fucking dick.” You could hear Tom yell out as you hung up the phone, turning it off and throwing it in the floorboard of your car. You pulled the car off the side of the road, placing your head on the steering wheel and letting out a good, long cry.

You don’t know what happened to your sweet boyfriend, the one that wasn’t obsessed with money, but you wanted him back dearly. You weren’t sure what was going on in Tom’s thick skull, but you were certain. If he couldn’t get his act together, you weren’t going to stick around for it. You didn’t sign up for any of that.

Once your eyes dried, you started the car again and continued on your route home- going to your place rather than Tom’s like you two had originally planned. Sleeping and being by yourself was all you wanted at the moment.

When you woke up, you found yourself in your cold living room early in the morning. You decided to check your mailbox since you didn’t yesterday, finding a particularly heavy envelope, and hurried inside to open it.

Inside lay the bracelet, a receipt, and a note from Tom. It was a pretty bracelet, you had to admit. With diamonds surrounding the outside of it. It definitely was your taste in jewelry, but not £35k worth.

I wanted to say this all in person, but knowing you, I probably won’t see you in person for a while. I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry for being a dick. I’m sorry for being a ‘movie star’ and properly acting like one. I don’t mean to be obsessed with how much I get paid. I plan on working to keep myself grounded. I feel like you constantly do so much for me, I need you to know just how much I love you for it. I guess buying gifts is my love language, but you’re right. I’ll try to do better on what I get you and how much I spend.

As you’ve probably seen, I left the receipt in this envelope along with the bracelet. Keep it if you like, but I figure you’d want to return it. Do whatever you want with the money, you’re obviously the more responsible one and know how to handle it. I love you so much, y/n. I would trade all the money in the world for you to be happy. Nothing compares to what I feel when I see you smile, and I hope I didn’t just fuck up everything we have. Call me when you’re ready- and preferably not angry with me anymore :)

You bit your lip, looking at the bracelet and receipt. You almost didn’t even want to touch the thing, appalled by how expensive it was. Sure you liked pretty things every now and then, but you were a simple person and a bracelet that costs more than your flat and your car combined just didn’t belong on your wrist.

You put the receipt and the bracelet back in the envelope, slipping it in your purse and heading out the door.

. . .

“Y/n!” Tom exclaimed as he saw you walk through the front door. He didn’t expect to see you today, but he was more than excited by your presence. Without a word, you handed him a stack of papers. “What are these?” He asked, looking at them confused.

“Thank you letters for your generous donations- £7,000 to five different charities,” you told him. “I don’t care if you want to spend your money, but just keep in mind that there are people out there that aren’t as fortunate as you that can use that money for more productive reasons than looking pretty.

“Tom, I love you, and I hate to break it to you, but you are only special to so many people. Myself, your family, your fans, but that’s it. No cop thinks you’re special, no doctor or nurse thinks you’re special, no lawyer or judge thinks you’re special. That room full of actors at the Oscars could care less who you are because you aren’t them. I don’t give a shit how talented or hot or rich you are because that’s all superficial. Years from now, you won’t have that. But you will always have your heart. Don’t let it become corrupt because you can’t see past the pretty things.”

Tom nodded as you spoke, taking in every word like his life depended on it- which, to him, it probably did. It sucked having to be the person to say such harsh words to Tom, but it had to be done. The thought of losing your sweet boy to a fame driven and egotistical world was the biggest fear you’d ever felt.

“I don’t know what else to say other than I’m sorry,” he said softly.

“How about ‘I won’t act like vain, dickhole movie star again’? Or ‘I understand that I’m not the shit’? ‘I’m just as special as my ‘broke, normal’ girlfriend’?” You offered. Tom visibly sucked a breath, his jaw clinching. “You realize I’m that person you called out? That ‘normal person’ that makes in a year what you make in a single day? I’ve never been so insulted, and it was from my own boyfriend’s mouth that I had to hear that from. I’m sorry I’m not cool enough to be an actor and play pretend in a Spider-Man costume, but I can assure you that even though I make less than a quarter of what you make, I am still on your level. My broke ass is just as important as your arrogant, rich one. And I need you to pull that stick out of your ass so you can see who you’re dealing with because you are not going to belittle me like that again.”

“I didn’t mean to,” he whispered, tears pooling in his eyes. He didn’t realize just how severe the situation was; he was so concerned about himself, he didn’t even realize he was insulting the love of his life. He could hear the hurt behind the anger in your voice, and it broke his heart knowing he was the cause of it. “I’m such an asshole,” he mumbled, more to himself than to you, running through his hair.

“Yeah you are,” you said with a humorless laugh, turning to walk away.

“Are you breaking up with me?” He asked, his voice pitiful.

“No,” you looked at him again. “But you need to take some time to realize some things, and I need some time to cool off. We have dinner plans with your parents tomorrow- fix your shit before then.” You turned again, walking out of his flat. 

Taglist: @lucychg @yourwonderbelle @rageyoudamnednerd​ @maliburumofficial @cutiepiemimi13 @happywolves81 @lifeandloveandhappiness @madeinthemidnightmemories @castellandiangelo @meaganjm @spnobsessedmemes @h-oneyholland @babylsn​ @harrydesires​ @xxtomxo (add yourself here)

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 16 of don’t read the last page is here!

masterpost

[kristanna / m / multichap / modern au with actress!anna and vetstudent!kristoff]

“I mean, even if that is what she’s filming today,” he said to a cat recovering from minor surgery as he held out a toy for it to bat around, “it’s not a big deal. I mean, she’s an actor, right? And anyway it’s for the movie, so no one else will see it yet, and everyone will know it’s fake. So it doesn’t bother me.”

The cat stopped playing and gave him a look that said even I know that’s bullshit, buddy.

Kristoff had always been a patient person. He wondered sometimes if it had started when his parents had adopted his oldest sister, or a few years before that when he had been a ward of the state waiting to be wanted, or perhaps he had just been born this way, stoic and solid, slow to anger and quick to forgive.

The magazine display in the checkout lane was testing that right now. 

She had been excited about that photoshoot with People just a couple of weeks ago. “They want me to be on the cover!” she had called to tell him on her way home from Sam’s office. “And do an article about, y’know, my rise to fame and stuff. I mean, it’s not Vogue or anything so it’s not a huge deal, but still!”

He didn’t really recognize her on the cover. They had slimmed her down for some reason, when just last week she had come home from a doctor’s visit upset because the doctor had told her he was worried about the rate at which she was losing weight when she had already been slender. “I just don’t have time to eat on set sometimes,” she had explained to Kristoff as they went through the grocery store together, both of them in sweatshirts with the hood pulled up. “And then I’m dancing all day, and then I’m stressed as fuck, and I just…”

(He’d packed her lunch every day since then and left a note in each bag. She sent him a picture one day of all of them taped up around her mirror.)

Somehow worse than that, though, was the little blurb in splashy pink letters: Anna Arendelle Rises To Fame...And Falls In Love? Find Out More On Page 36!

She’d done the interview before the Hans debacle, and when they’d asked if she had ever been in love before she had said, “Oh, absolutely. And it’s the most amazing, wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me. I’d take that over the fame any day.”

It had been romantic when she had told him about it later that night when they laid tangled in bed together. It was less romantic now knowing that it was followed up in the article with a whole paragraph about her New Year’s duet with Hans Westergaard.

Between the two of them, they had almost all of the magazines on the rack covered, most of them promising “details about their budding romance inside!” One particularly abhorrent one actually had a picture of Kristoff next to her one day sitting on a park bench; he’d had his hood on, and she’d made the mistake of keeping hers off and leaving that unmistakable red hair on display. Still, he had no idea how anyone would be stupid enough to think he was Hans, considering he had a good five inches and thirty pounds at least on the other man. Then again, the same magazine promised proof Prince William was a lizard.

He turned that one around so no one else could see it, and then picked up a Twix-- Anna’s favorite-- and threw it in the cart. On second thought, he grabbed another; he needed one, too.

---

"Damn, is that really gonna work under latex gloves?"

Kristoff jumped and slammed his laptop shut. "Jesus, didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to look over people's shoulders?"

The vet tech grinned. "Yeah. But I think when you see your favorite intern looking at engagement rings, you can make an exception. That bloodwork came back clean, by the way. We can send him home tomorrow."

"Thanks, Ryder."

The other man plopped down in the seat across from him. "Pay me back by finally telling me more about this girlfriend."

He groaned. "Why are you so invested in this?"

"I already watched all the good stuff on Netflix. Now I'm bingeing coworker drama. Casey and Paul are fucking, by the way, which is why--"

"They suddenly both started volunteering for kennel clean-up, yeah. Obvious."

"So give me something better to talk about. Like why you were seriously looking at a heart shaped stone."

"It's romantic!"

"It's cheesy. She'll hate it. Probably."

"How do you know so much about women?"

Ryder waggled his eyebrows. "I'm kind of a love expert."

"Didn't you tell me once you were perpetually single?"

"Exactly. I know exactly why to avoid all the bullshit. Stop changing the subject. What's her name?"

"Anna," Kristoff said before he could stop himself, and Ryder grinned.

---

had to talk to hans today bc we r shooting stuff together again

he was super apologetic

said it was a waiter who filmed n leaked it n that he called the company

.

Do you believe him?

.

idk

he said the bowtie thing was to match the confetti not me

i think i believe that part at least i mean why else would he have had a silver one lying around

.

Maybe he already had some ready no matter what color you wore.

.

idk i think that’s too creepy even for him

it is right?

god i can’t think about that today

He waited a long time before texting her again, keeping his focus on the puppies he was giving their first shots instead of why today was apparently the wrong day to think about just what Hans would do to capture her attention. As hard as clinicals were and as exhausting as it was, this was the work he had dreamed of doing his whole life, and the fact that it required his full attention when he most needed a distraction from the rest of the world was the cherry on top right now.

But then the puppies were vaccinated, and it was already four o’clock, and all that was left to do for the day was check on the animals who were staying in the kennels overnight, and his mind couldn’t help but wander as he went from cage to cage.

“I mean, even if that is what she’s filming today,” he said to a cat recovering from minor surgery as he held out a toy for it to bat around, “it’s not a big deal. I mean, she’s an actor, right? And anyway it’s for the movie, so no one else will see it yet, and everyone will know it’s fake. So it doesn’t bother me.”

The cat stopped playing and gave him a look that said even I know that’s bullshit, buddy.

Anna had gotten home before him for once that night. She was already in the shower, and she didn’t emerge until he’d already cooked dinner and was half-considering digging in to his plate. “Oh! Hey, baby,” she said as she came into the kitchen, still only wearing her towel. “I thought I heard you in here.”

“Jesus, Anna, how hot did you have the water? You look like a lobster.”

“Nice to see you too,” she said, trying to tease, but she looked away from him instead of coming over to greet him like she always did with a kiss.

He went to her instead and stood before her, not touching her like his heart was screaming for him to do; she leaned away, just barely enough to confirm his suspicions.

“You had to do a kissing scene today, didn’t you?”

She only nodded.

“It wasn’t really you guys,” he said softly. “Just your characters. Did he-- did he try anything?”

“No, not at all. He was a perfect gentleman, and it went just fine, and after he made sure I wasn’t bothered since he knew I was kind of upset about all the hubbub but...I don’t know, Kris. I don’t know what’s acting for him and what isn’t.”

A tear slid down her cheek and spattered on the floor. Still he didn’t touch her, waiting to let her make the first move. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“Me too. I’m sorry I...god. I’m sorry for everything.”

“I’m not upset about it, though,” he lied. “In case you were worried.”

She stepped closer to him then, pressing her still-damp forehead against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her, letting his thumb rub gentle circles over her shoulder. This is why, Kristoff, he reminded himself, this is why you can’t tell her.

“I love you,” she said, sounding so forlorn he could have sworn he felt a little crack open up in his chest.

“Love you too. More than anything.”

---

He still didn't understand exactly how to use Twitter, but he did know enough to understand that when he logged in and saw stuff about Anna before he even searched her name, something big was happening.

Exclusive new behind the scenes photos from Anastasia! Click here for more:

It already had six thousand retweets, and dozens of replies all screaming about the photo of Hans and Anna clinging to one another. They were in full costume, surrounded by cameras, and the photo was grainy, but still he couldn't help but zoom in on Anna's face, the way she gazed up so lovingly at Hans, the same way she used to look at him before she started running so low on time. Now it seemed he only ever saw her when she was asleep or halfway there.

"Didn't take you for a Disney fan, Bjorgman," Ryder said from behind him.

"Not Disney. It's Fox," he muttered, knowing it was useless to rebuke him for peeking yet again.

"My sister works on that set," Ryder said proudly. "She does Anna Arendelle's hair and makeup."

"...Honeymaren is your sister?"

"...what the fuck? I thought I was the nosy one. How the hell do you-- oh my god, is that your Anna? The one you’ve known since high school and you live with and--”

Kristoff stood up suddenly, his chair screeching with the movement. “You can’t tell anyone,” he said, his voice unnaturally harsh. “I’m serious.”

For once, Ryder looked serious. “Jesus, man, no need to go all ‘I’m six-foot-four on me’. We’re friends. I wouldn’t fuck you over like that.”

His heart was pounding. He could trust Ryder-- he wanted to, at least, but it had been a secret for so long, and already even without other people knowing his life had been upended, and if it got any worse he might have to--

“Kristoff. Seriously, man, I’ll forget you said anything.”

Ryder looked wounded somehow as he turned and left. Feeling guilty, Kristoff called after him, “Wait, it’s just--”

Ryder glanced back over his shoulder. “We’ve all got our shit. I’m here to talk if you need.”

He walked away, and Kristoff found himself standing alone in a room silent except for the buzzing of the fluorescent lights and his own breath, harsh and heavy in his chest.

---

Sweat poured down his back as he ran harder than he ever had before, his legs pumping like he was desperately trying to get somewhere that remained forever just out of his grasp. 

He had woken up that morning to an empty bed and a post-it on the fridge with an apology. Meeting with Sam before filming, completely forgot. So sorry xo

She hadn’t even remembered to grab her lunch from the fridge. She probably had forgone breakfast too, and they were in the thick of filming now, doing the huge dance scenes that seemed to take all day and half the night and left her so exhausted sometimes he had to help her undress.

Last night had been one of those nights, and the night before, and this night would be the same, and his lungs were burning, and he’d already gone five miles, sprinting the whole way, and by the end of the day he would be too sore to move, but he still didn’t know what the hell to do and so he just kept running.

---

He was covering the front desk today for the receptionist, whose daughter had just had a baby; normally he wouldn’t have volunteered for something like this, would have wanted to stay doing what he knew best and getting as much experience working with the animals as he could, but as much as he hated talking on the phone to people, he knew he was likely to do more harm than help in the back of the clinic today.

Mercifully, the phones hadn’t been busy so far that morning. He stared, distantly curious, at his hand as it rested on the mousepad, trembling as if he wasn’t sitting perfectly still in a room that was by all standards a little over warm.

A styrofoam cup filled with shitty breakroom coffee appeared just in front of his fingers. “We’ve been taking bets on how long you’ll last out here without falling asleep,” Ryder informed him. “I said another hour, but it was looking iffy for a second there, so I brought you this.”

“Thanks, man.”

He ignored the cup and went back to watching his hand. He didn’t know a lack of sleep could do this. He’d have to keep that in mind next time he was scheduled for a surgery the next morning, would have to find some way to fall asleep in spite of his own mind.

“I, uh, I told my sister I know you. And that I know about it. If that’s okay, I mean,” Ryder said hurriedly. “She’d told me before about hanging out with Anna, and so I just kinda put two and two together and assumed she knew.”

“‘S fine. She’s known the whole time.”

“I, uh, I asked her if she knew why it was a secret. I could have asked you, I know, but, uh...you know how you are with secrets. Figured if I wanted the truth--”

“Just tell me what you want to say. Please,” Kristoff said, taking a sip of the lukewarm coffee in the futile hope it would help.

“Just...that it sucks. Especially with this shit with them saying she’s dating Hans Westergaard. Wish I could tell you ‘I get it’ or something. But I don’t, so I, uh, just...yeah. But I hope the, y’know, engagement ring thing that I saw you looking at that one time...I hope it works out.”

Kristoff ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah. Me, too.”

---

“They seriously won’t just let you call in sick?”

“I mean, I could, but at this point, I’m in all the scenes that are left, and I can’t just halt production for a whole day just because I’m sore, especially when we’re going to Russia in two weeks, and they’re all depending on me, and I can’t just--”

“You sprained your wrist,” he said flatly. “This is more than just being sore.”

“I know, but we already filmed one scene with it, I got Honeymaren to put some foundation on it so you can’t see the--”

“Anna,” he said, his voice so strained she finally went quiet.

He grabbed one of her makeup wipes off the bathroom counter and came back to where she was perched on the edge of the bed. He took the injured wrist in his hand as carefully as he could and started gently dabbing at the nearly-invisible lines of makeup. She winced, and that crack in his chest widened a little more, deepening further as the green and brown smudges faded into view.

“Jesus,” he muttered, and her fingers curled into a fist as she tried to pull away, embarrassed. “Anna, no, I just-- how did you manage this?”

“There was this stunt with the train scene, and nobody else was going to have a stunt person do it, and so I...I wanted to try and see if I could do it, but I just...I don’t know, Kris, I just fucked it up, I guess.”

He bit back everything he wanted to say; what good what it do, anyway, when everybody else seemed to be encouraging her to push herself this way? Instead, he leaned down and pressed a featherlight kiss to her palm. “Let me get something to put on it.”

When he came back a few minutes later with a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a towel, she had already curled up on her side and fallen asleep, still fully dressed. He sat beside her, lifting her head onto his lap. She still didn’t wake up, and so he carefully raised her injured wrist, holding it gently as he could as he pressed the makeshift cold compress against it. 

He stayed holding her that way, for a long, long time, until the peas had thawed, and then he went to the kitchen and threw them out and leaned over the sink and splashed cold water onto his face, wondering how much one person could bear.

---

Mid-February had finally rolled around with all its gray skies and sappy pink storefront displays. She was leaving in thirty-six hours, and he hadn’t seen her since the night before, because he’d gotten up two hours earlier than normal to come in early so he could leave early and take her out on the date they’d been planning since even before New Year’s, the one to make up for her being gone for the next three weeks and missing their first Valentine’s together.

It wasn’t that he gave a single fuck about the holiday; it was that she did, and so he’d put his heart into planning it all out: they were going to drive outside of the city limits, just enough that anyone who saw them might do a double take but still keep walking, but not so far that they would get back home too late for anything else. He’d found a diner just like one they used to hang out at in high school, one where they could order a giant strawberry milkshake to dip their fries into and spend all the quarters they could find in her car on playing cheesy old love songs from the sixties, one where if they got lucky they could risk holding hands under the table without anyone seeing.

He was already half-dressed after showering off the day’s stress, expecting her to come through the door any minute, when his phone buzzed.

i’m so sorry

He was half-tempted to throw the phone out the window. Maybe if he didn’t read the rest of the message it wouldn’t come true.

He looked again anyway, that now-familiar crack in his chest widening into a full-blown chasm.

i’m so sorry, something happened with the plane tickets and then the schedules changed and so they want us to have a meeting

hans said we can do it at his place (🤮) since we’re all tired of the set

but at least that’s towards where you said we were gonna go 

i’m so so sorry kris can you pick me up from here? ill just ride over with him i guess so i can leave my car here

He sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, putting the phone aside to bury his face in his hands. How the fuck had they gotten here? This wasn’t supposed to happen; they were supposed to move in together, and it would all be fixed, and he’d see her enough, and it was all going to be fine, but it hadn’t been fine for so long he was starting to wonder whether it would be again. 

His hand, his arm, his whole body felt like it had been filled with lead when he picked up the phone to respond. Of course, baby. Just call me when it’s over.

He finished getting dressed and went to sit on the sofa; figuring at least he could turn on the TV and find some stupid show to drown out his thoughts. His eyes flicked down to the Netflix button on the remote; what the hell, he thought, you already feel like shit, might as well see her during it.

He put her movie on, the stupid Christmas one he’d helped her run lines for, and watched her-but-not live through a dreamy, whirlwind romance, even almost smiled at the scene they had read together on his living room floor all those months ago; he closed his eyes for the kiss at the end, even though he’d seen the movie before with Sven when it first came out, he didn’t know if he could take watching it right now.

He kept watching while the credits rolled, jealous of all the people whose names scrolled by for every second they got to spend with her, not knowing how he coveted her time. It was getting dark; he glanced at his phone, expecting to see that he’d missed something from her, but there was nothing.

He went to the kitchen and cracked open a beer; he wasn’t normally one to drink when he got like this, but tonight-- tonight something felt different, like the air was suddenly running out of oxygen, like the walls of this house they had thought would be full of so much happiness were closing in on him.

He finished it; still nothing. It was late enough now she’d be too hungry to wait through the drive up. Fine; they’d get McDonald’s, or order a pizza, or he’d cook pancakes for her-- he didn’t care, he just wanted to fucking see her before she left, just wanted to be with her and no one else and pretend that it could be that way all the time.

He cracked open another beer. Another hour passed, and the frustration that had been pooling in his gut had started to ferment into worry. She was never quiet this long; something had to have happened, something had to be wrong. 

His jaw was clenched; he released it, thinking it would lighten some of the tension coiled tight in every part of him, but it didn’t. He felt hot and cold and too big and too small all at once, a bundle of aching and anxiety bouncing around the prison of his own skull while he waited to hear something, anything.

Suddenly he could take it no more and stormed out the front door, snatching up his keys and heading for the car. He had it started, had his hand on the gear stick to pull it into reverse when a sudden horrible thought hit him: what if she didn’t want him to pick her up? What if she wanted to spend her last nights here with everyone else, with all the other people like her, the ones who kept pushing her and and demanding so much of her, all in the pursuit of-- of whatever the fuck it was that kept her going like this.

He went back inside and sat at the kitchen table, his eyes never moving from the door.

Another half hour passed, and then suddenly it swung open and she was there, her eyes wild and her hair half-out of a ponytail. “Kris, I’m so fucking sorry,” she gasped out, and he stood, striding over to her.

“I-- I rode with Hans,” she explained, already reaching for him, “and then I got there and realized my phone was gonna die, and I didn’t have my charger with me because it was in the car, and no one else had theirs either, and then the meeting just kept fucking going on and on because everyone was asking so many questions, and then I had to borrow someone’s phone to get an Uber and it turns out that that just complicates things and I-- fuck fuck fuck I’m so sorry, I just--”

“I need to go,” he said shortly, catching the door before it could swing shut behind her and slipping out into the night without saying goodbye.

[impivus]

very rushed very shit intro comin @ you all but here goes nothing ! i’m felix from the gmt tmz, i use he / him pronouns, and im gonna power nap any minute now because one thing you should know about me is that i’m eternally on the verge of passing out from minimum exertions during the day. this is my pain in the ass eunsu: not even going to sugar coat it - he’s the human personification of a headache dumpster fire all in one beefy package and i really don’t even blame your character if they just . ignore his presence because, me too !

under the cut there’s some information about him if you want to get to know more about him regardless. smash that mf heart if you want to plot.. and i will get to you ? sometime ? its an ambiguous promise but i keep them, discord is also an option so just ask if you’d prefer to plot on there. eun’s about is here but no plots as of yet because life is hard and We Cant all Have Everything 

aka im lazy 

* ☾ ✧ * º ━━ is that KIM JONGIN walking about ? nope ! that’s just EUN SU CHO. & i’ve been told that they work as a INFORMATION BROKER ! apparently, they are TWENTY FIVE ( 204 )  years old .  some people say they are a CISMALE, DEMON ! HE is very CULTIVATED & INTUATIVE but also DECIETFUL &  MENACING. i wonder if they are just as odd as the rest of us .  ⇢  SYNOPSIS. MBTI TYPE  /  entp, the debater ZODIAC SIGN  /  scorpio   ENNEAGRAM TYPE  /  7w8 KINSEY SCALE  /  3 MORAL ALIGNMENT /  chaotic evil / neutral HOGWARTS HOUSE / slytherin ⇢ AESTHETICS. 

goosebumps raised and feelings of growing dread, the dark corner of a room where light doesn’t reach, silver pocket - watches with dead batteries, the scratch of a record player needle, flares in the sky, bad ideas coming to life, half-assed clapping when it’s required, figures dancing within the shadows & a smile you shouldn’t trust . 

⇢ OVERVIEW

literally anybody: when are you free?  eun su: im forever imprisoned in my own personal hell so i am never truly "free" but i don't really have plans all next week except for monday

this is eun su, and will y’all believe me if i say he used to be a good egg before he turned into the rotten egg i’m presentin y’all with today ??  i kid u not.. bs free zone. he did once ..  have a hort  he was born to a cult of witches, his twin brother absorbing all the magic that was meant to be equally distributed between them in his mother’s womb, which pretty much left eunsu as the black sheep of the family. said cult had been living on a small, near enough desolated island for literal decades, entertaining themselves with magic, seeking out knowledge, observing the unassuming populace, and toying with other supernatural creatures who dared cross their paths. unfortunately for eunsu’s family, tragedy struck when one of his aunt’s tried to over throw the high priestess ( his mother ) in their coven. unyielding in her position and untouchable to the magic she was exposed to, her sister went about other ways to break the woman’s spirits, dabbling in black magic predominantly to achieve her goals. eunsu’s brother was, thus, cursed before he was even born with an incurable heart defect that would see him dead before he reached double figures. eunsu’s mother was broken not mourned over how much he missed out as on a child: but she mourned for the fact that he was the only child that harboured any magic in their veins, the only child that could’ve carried on their lineage.   queue entrance of eunsu and his Whats the Worst that Could Happen Attitude. being young and naive, thought he could’ve been able to solve it by himself, solve the issues and earn his mother’s lacking affections. eun had heard about dark vessels that could miraculously grant wishes through summonings. though he didn’t have magic in his veins he had a fire in his heart, and after all, demons cared not for who or what they fed from: so long as they appeased their hunger.  all it wanted in return was a good, pure soul, and that’s what the demon stole from him before it mended his twin brother’s heart, giving the boy a new lease of life that wasn’t intended for him from the start. pity that eunsu died before he got to the age of twenty, following a quick and hungry fever that overtook his frail body and too soon turned deadly. there was no surprise that, come judgement day, he was turned away at the gates of heaven, in exchange for becoming one of lucifer’s own.

as a result of being eternally cursed with immorality and a tainted soul, he's lived some hundred-odd years and is coping by making the current populace in jeonseoul suffer along with finding purpose in digging out the secrets of his past life, mayhaps trying to find the demon who cursed him.... which could definitely be a wc.. and strengthening his abilities as a demon.

his personality is a bit insufferable; eunsu keeps himself distant and cryptic, because he likes it that way. he's a real weirdo ( if u have ever watched hxh he’s hisoka.. THAT weird )  that's hard to forget: completely mischievous, dramatic, and malicious to boot. some days he's waxing poetic about the futility of having a sense of justice and the next he's using his demonic powers to make some innocent tourist think they're hallucinating as they attempt to walk into a steady flow of traffic. 

ultimately life's a game to him and bih.. he’s here to have fun ! he's outlived his actual family and friends ( well, aside from his brother who he barely remembers, prolly be a wc if anyone’s interested ) and he's not looking to get attached to anyone. it would be great to Die because it’s his forever Mood but he also gets furious if anyone tries to actually expel him for real - so he'll simply prod at the world and its people until he gets the reactions he wants.

fair warning: it is a pain to genuinely care about eunsu and not many people will wanna do it. he comes and goes into people's lives as he pleases, stops reaching out once he's bored and only ever grazes the surface of a relationship based on its worth or his curiosities, innocent ppl, cute ppl, etc are just gonna be eaten up by him then dropped. 

the people who will be closest to him are doubtlessly other demons ig ? but he also hates y’all too so.. don’t get too friendly like he’s not here to make friends he’s here to be Jeonseoul’s next top Demon. also since he died sumn like 200 years ago it’s possible some wizards / familiars knew of him and his coven, it’d be super interesting for someone to have known cute human eunsu in exchange for chaotic bastard demon eunsu 

⇢ MISCELLANEOUS

since he’s a young demon, his horns are small and his wings barely span about two inches above his shoulder bones, he got itty bitty bat wings lbr he’s kinda pissed abt it. there’s tattoos over his scars from clashing with other demons / hunters / angels, but his devil’s mark lining the back of his neck, performed by first demon who took his soul, has never faded away. 

he also works as an info broker, which ties in with the fact that he’s a contractual demon ! it's more of a hobby than a job, something he does for kicks and to restock his gambling money and alcohol money, but he offers a helping hand to solo clientele for private cases if need be, just remember to bring your negotiation skills because his manipulation skills are a1.

he's well-versed in witchcraft even if he can’t actually possess the abilities that actual witches can. while hardly the mentoring type, he could be convinced to equip people with his knowledge of latin, spells or dark magic they want if he's interested enough. then again he might decide to screw them over for kicks so ask him for favours with caution.

for someone who carries a ton of spite and secrets, he passes as an easygoing, casual literature major on the daily to disguise his true intentions. find him at the university pretending to be a student and failing miserably at it like edward’s thousand year old ass in twilight

he cheats at the casino with his demonic powers but does it infrequently enough to pass it as luck. play games with him at your own risk. casinos are one of his favourite places but he can really be found anywhere with ease but some other places he frequents are: beaches, libraries, museums, bars, etc !

he'll get on people's nerves, but getting him to care to the degree of hate is another story. living this long has numbed him; people don't surprise him anymore and he doesn't care to spend time thinking about others. the secret to getting him to turn deathly serious is as simple as telling him you can tell that he was once a good person - because the cheesy truth is he was. he just convinces himself that he's given up trying to remember his human life and finds it easier to live like he’s dead.. yknow which he is.

romance makes him queasy, he's a spiteful old bastard and the concept of sweet love rubs him 100% fictional. there's someone he fancied before he was cursed but i'll save you the story: that's a distant dream now.

he might quote romantic works or put some pretty words together but he's fake as Fuck. if he notices someone innocent and unsuspecting crushing on him they are in so much trouble. he'll kiss their hand then twirl them right off a cliff. corruption kink central right here laid ease

as of rn he’s trying to master how to teleport and shadow control but he really is like on level one and he’s got to get up to level 50 to achieve even a fifth of what these other demons can do 

edit: i totally forgot to include eunsu’s ‘demonic’ title after he was banished to the perils of hell. it’s ironically just saint, and he goes around using that bc it’s blasphemous and a big ole middle finger to god himself. nobody will know his real name, but if there’s an off chance that they do, that’s a massive threat to eunsu and he’ll get his Snipers on Scene

tl;dr: 

[babybirdgyeom]

♥ strawberries and asparagus: mark tuan.

summary: in which a customer thinks you and your new co-worker should get to know each other a bit better and it ends up being one of the best things your job has ever given you

word count: 2.9 k

a/n: i thought of this while working in one of these small huts (what a surprise) i hope y’all like it - if you know me you’ll know i was too lazy to proofread. i always appreciate feedback! ♥

⇢ it was your third summer working for the farm near your grandparents house. they put up little huts in the city every summer and sell their asparagus and fruits, strawberries, cherries, blackberrys and a lot more

⇢ it was late april and you were more than excited about the new season starting, finally seeing all of the co-workers again. the atmosphere on the farm was always familylike and everyone knew each other

⇢ on this day a little old lady came to your hut, overly excited “ohh you finally are here again! how i missed your strawberries”

⇢ she was a regular and always being very nice to you, giving you big tips and asking you about college 

⇢ suddenly a young man stood right beside her which left you a bit confused at first because the customers were usually older people who are willing to sell a bit more for fresh fruit

⇢ he was rather tall, his hair dyed blonde and you couldn’t help but think he was very attractive

⇢ he gave you a big smile, even his eyes seemed to smile and you couldn’t help but blush a bit, trying to get yourself together 

⇢ why am i turning red??? it’s not the first time a pretty boy smiles at you (y/n) get your shit together 

⇢ the boy started to introduce himself, his name was mark and to your surprise he was your new co-worker. his job was to bring you the fruits early in the morning and pick them up and drive them back to the farm at the end of your shift. 

⇢ “wait a moment, i’ll just finish this order.”, you assured him, turning to the lady who observed the situation very precisely

⇢ “oh i’ll take two boxes of strawberries and two of the blueberries darling”, she said. as you wanted to put them in a bag for you she stopped you after the first two servings. “no no the other two boxes are for the two of you.”

⇢  the smirk on her face was too cute, she was more than excited to play cupid. she said since this is his first day he should get to know his co-workers, especially when his co-worker is such a cute one and you could swear you saw her winking at him

⇢ so he packed up all the remaining boxes of food back into his transporter and you were afraid things might get awkward but he handled the situation really well

⇢ “so..”, he looked at you, his hand against the back of his head, he seemed to be a bit unsure too, “wanna enjoy a meal with me?”, he said letting out a little laugh

⇢  the two of you sat down in the little hut, mark right beside you, closing his eyes, enjoying the last rays of sunshine 

⇢ you studied his face while his eyes were closed.. he for sure was the most handsome your boss ever hired

⇢ for the next hour you and mark were eating the fruits the lady bought for you and just sat and chatted about everything

⇢ you told him about the co-workers, that he should try to become close with jaebum, the son of the boss and one of your closest friends and that there’s a big feast at the farm every year where everyone who works there gets to pick fruits themselves and drink a lot and at the end of the day there will be a lot of the farms best asparagus for everyone

⇢ it was for sure that you and mark hit off immediately and when you got home later that day you couldn’t stop thinking of him

⇢ to your dislike

⇢ you for sure couldn’t develope a crush on your new co-worker

⇢ but still you found yourself hoping that he has a shift too everytime you have one just so you could see him for five minutes a day

⇢ you should’ve gotten his number but of course you didn’t

⇢ you even thought about asking your boss when mark works again just so you know when you should put on make up and dress maybe a bit more nicely 

⇢ you didn’t though because you knew your boss and he’d tease you a lot

⇢ "why do you look so fucking dissapointed to see me?”, your close friend and co-worker jackson asked one day when he was picking up the fruits

⇢ “i just--- have you met this mark guy already?”, you asked him bc u knew your secret would be safe with him

⇢ his eyes immediately widened at your question

⇢ “i can’t believe you’re in love with our new co-worker, is this a drama??”, he was a bit too excited

⇢ “YA JACKSON who the fuck is in love, keep it down, i just asked about him”

⇢ so two weeks after you first saw mark you finally got lucky and saw him again

⇢ “(y/n)! i hope you’ve been fine, i already started missing you”

⇢ you know he was joking but ugh you really did miss him 

⇢ you barely know him (y/n) you seriously need to stop 

⇢ “if you want to you could give me your number? just in case i ever come late because of traffic or something so i can inform you”

⇢ [jackson, 18.47]: i could swear mark looked extra happy when he came back to the farm today. did you show him your tits or what happened?

⇢ you wondered if mark really only got your number to call you about work 

⇢ the next day you didn’t get to see him again

⇢ [unknown number, 16:43]: hello, i know this is not work related and i said i’ll get this number for work purposes only but i thought maybe you want to eat something again tomorrow after work? 

⇢ [unknown number, 16:45]: of course i’ll pay this time! and we also don’t have to eat in the hut again like we could go somewhere more fance

⇢ [unknown number, 16:47]: only if you want though, if not that’s fine too i just thought it was fun last time

⇢ [unknown number, 16:49]: oh this is mark by the way if you wondered what kind of psychopath is sending u tons of messages..

⇢ [unknown number, 16.51]: if you aren’t free today after work we can also go eat something another time!!

⇢ [unknown number, 16:54]: now i feel stupid for sending you a thousand messages, i’m usually not this annoying i promise.. 

⇢ you couldn’t help but smile like an idiot at all of these messages, he seemed either to be a bit nervous or just a really messy person but you thought it was cute no matter what was right

⇢ so you texted back ‘yes, i’ll be off at 7pm so pick me up? we could just drive back to the farm together and eat at their restaurant, it’s the best’

⇢ when he picked you up the next day you weren’t sure if this was a casual thing or something like a date but since you only have known him for a short time you assumed it was just a casual meet up to get to know his new co-workers

⇢ he helped you inside of the big transporter he was driving to transport all of the remainings in, holding you on your waist and lifting you up because the seat was really high and you’d have to climb it 

⇢ as soon as you arrived at the farm you helped him to carry the boxes from the transporter inside and when your boss saw you he raised an eyebrow at the two of you, smirking

⇢ “what are you doing here (y/n)?”

⇢ you’ve known him for years since he’s jaebum’s dad and you and jaebum used to be best friends in elementary school

⇢ “i couldn’t resist anymore since i’m seeing your asparagus everyday so i decided to come here and eat some”

⇢ he grinned at you, shaking his head, “and you forgot how to eat and need mark to help you?”

⇢ you were used to his teasing, knowing he meant it in a loving way

⇢ “you don’t pay me enough to eat out so i need someone to invite me.”

⇢ mark and your boss laughed and you brought the last box inside

⇢ mark smiled at you for a moment, looking at you 

⇢  you couldn’t really identify what his glance was saying but you didn’t really had time to think about it since he fastly bowed in front of you, acting dramatic

⇢ “(y/n), would you honor me by letting me take you out to dinner now?”

⇢ you dropped a curtsey and played along

⇢ “always use protection, kids” your boss said as you left the office to go to the restaurant right next to the farm your 

⇢ you took one of the single aspagarus that were lying around and threw it at him

⇢ you were impressed by mark’s personality

⇢ not that you thought you’d be dissapointed but he did seem a bit quite and more shy in the beginning but it soon turned out that he wasn’t at all

⇢ the two of you enjoyed your food a lot but you enjoyed each others company even more

⇢ soon the two of you were laughing really loud about stories from the farm you told him

⇢ “if we weren’t hired here we would’ve gotten kicked out long ago”, mark whispered to you 

⇢ the waitress really did look a bit annoyed by your loud laughter but she knew she couldn’t kick you out

⇢ the evening soon was over because even though you wanted to stay you both had to be at work in the next morning really early again

⇢ of course mark drove you home, being the gentleman he appears to be, even waiting for you to get inside

⇢ “hey (y/n)!” he screamed before you entered your apartment

⇢ you turned around, “what else do you want, mark?”, you screamed back at him jokingly and he let out a small laugh

⇢ “are you going to be at the dinner party next weekend at the farm?”, he smirked while asking that question and his smirk made you smirk too immediately

⇢ “i guess i have to, wouldn’t you be too lonely without me?”, you ask him, your voice being a bit too flirty

⇢ he shook his head amused, “let me pick you up”

⇢ you gave him a genuine smile, “i’d love that.”

⇢ when you fell into your bed you felt how tired you actually were

⇢ you thought about the day you had, that must’ve been a date right? or were you just delusional

⇢ but even if it wasn’t it was a lot of fun

⇢ you decided to send him a quick text before you went to sleep 

⇢ ‘i really had fun mister tuan, it’s a pity we had to leave so soon. next saturday you’ll have a whole night to keep me entertained, will you be able to handle that?”

⇢ before you could think about it again you sent it

⇢ not really realizing that this might be a bit ambiguous until he texted you back

⇢ “i’m pretty sure i’ll find a way.”

⇢ the dinner party at the farm was the same as usual, a lot of alcohol and everyone dancing and having fun

⇢ mark and you were sitting on your table, talking to jaebum until he excused himself to go after the new waitress he had laid his eyes on

⇢ both of you were feeling giggly from the champagne

⇢ you got up and mark copied your action

⇢ suddenly you realized how much you’ve been drinking, almost falling over but finding yourself in mark’s arms

⇢ he didn’t seem to be that strong but apparently you were wrong about that assumption

⇢ once again he smirked at you

⇢ “if you wanted to be in my arms you could’ve just said that (y/n).”

⇢ this time it was you shaking your head in disbelief, amused by his confidence

⇢ “are you flirting with me, mark?”

⇢ you could swear the smirk on his face became even bigger if that was possible

⇢ “you tell me.”

⇢ his eyes became a bit darker and as you looked at him a bit, not knowing what to say he reached for your hand

⇢ “dance with me?”

⇢ “oh mark that’s embarrassing. i’ve known these people here since i was a child.”

⇢ he shrugged with his shoulders, “come on. they are all drunk and dancing. they won’t even look at you. which is a big mistake.”, he said and just simply twirled you around, almost forcing you to dance

⇢ you needed to admit that you were enjoying it a lot more than you thought you would

⇢ at the end of the night mark offered to walk you home and when you said that it’s okay he of course insisted

⇢ and that was the night you first felt mark tuan’s lips on yours 

⇢ also it was even better than you imagined

⇢ he was very cute about it, not really asking if he was allowed to but stopping a bit before his lips actually touched yours, giving you the chance to turn away

⇢ when you saw him at work the next day you were a bit afraid that things might get awkward but once again mark’s confidence was impressing you

⇢ as soon as he packed all of the boxes inside the transporter he was leaning over from the outside of the hut giving you a small peck on the lips as if it was the most normal thing in the world

⇢ “the weather is so nice. let’s go minigolfing.” and you did.

⇢ and you did. it was a whole mess, mark laughing at you the whole time because apparently minigolf wasn’t your strength

⇢ “i’m not trying to be cheesy here by doing this but it’s pure torture seeing you like this, let me help you.”

⇢ before you could wonder what he meant by “doing this” you felt mark behind you, his arms around you, his arms on top of yours, showing you how to properly do it.

⇢ that’s how you and mark continued for a few weeks. he mostly just asked you to hang out spontaneously after work or wrote you when you haven’t seen each other at work in a long time

⇢ [mark, 19.17]: hey i miss you. want to come over and watch a movie?

⇢ when you arrived there was a big mattress on the floor, popcorn and nachos beside it, three blankets and a lot of pillows. it looked really comfortable

⇢ there were a few candles lit and the atmosphere was very soft

⇢ you sat down, waiting for mark to get something 

⇢ when he came back you saw him carrying a big plate full of freshly made cupcakes and you found your mouth wide open

⇢ “they are blueberry ones since you said those are your favorites. with blueberries from the farm. i hope they taste good, i never baked before”

⇢ you were a bit in shock, “you did that for me?”

⇢ “no i actually did that for christian from around the corner but he didn’t had time today so i thought you would do. of course i did that for you!”, he let out a small laugh

⇢ “mark...”, you said a bit confused, “do you like me?”

⇢ now he was truly speechless for the first time since you met him

⇢ “i- um- well.. i mean it’s not like i just kiss you for nothing and take you out-”

⇢ before he could say anything you kissed him

⇢ this kiss was something different than the other ones before though, usually they were only small pecks and that’s it

⇢ but this one was with more emotions, his hands on your waist, trying to bring you closer to him

⇢ “(y/n), i don’t know how to do this but we’ve been seeing each other a lot now and it feels stupid to ask but you know”

⇢ he looked at you and hoped you’d understand what you mean and even though you obviously knew what he wanted to say you wanted to hear it from him

⇢ “know what?”, you played a bit clueless

⇢ “do you think we could officially say that we’re dating?”, he asked, taking your hand into his, the other hand still resting on your waist from the kiss

⇢ you let out a laugh, grabbing a blanket and putting it over you and mark, your head resting on his chest, his arm around you while you turned on the tv

⇢ “i think we could say this”

⇢ even though you always liked your job now you were really thankful for what it gave you

[petals42]

Can you please do some more Kent/chowder friendship body swap bc if you write like anything at all I will die happy

this is going to be an Unorganized Mess because i’m doing it right before bed because WHY NOT but here. [Note: You gotta have read this post first to make sense of this.]

So, like, as mentioned, I really want this friendship to develop after they switch back but the question is like... how?? 

In my last post I talked about how Parse would send Chowder nicer clothes (and sheets because wtf is that thread count christopher??) but i think this happened because-- wait lets go back

Okay so Chowder gets to go to the Aces/Sharks game and go backstage (not the right word for that but lets just move on) and meet people so while he is obviously ALL UP IN THE SHARKS, he introduces his family also to Kent as “and this is my friend, Kent Parson” and admist the confused stares (coming from both his family and Kent Parson), Chowder is just like “we met at Samwell!!”

And Kent Parson, who is never really referred to as a friend (more a teammate, tbh, or “ex” or “celebrity crush) has like acquired some sort of blushing instinct (he blames his time in Chowders body) because he sort of blushes and stammers (JUST A LITTLE OKAY) before finding his cool again and--

“Oh, also,” Chowder tells his little sister. “You gotta feel that inside of that sweater-- it is like SO SOFT.” and so that is actually where Kent gets his first idea to send Chowder nicer clothes (the expensive CASHMERE clothes yaknow... (sidebar: is cashmere soft? i don’t... actually know things about nice clothes)) 

But he doesn’t do it right away because like.. c’mon he’s not going to seem desperate here. He’s Kent Parson. He... they switched bodies for a little. Surely Chowder doesn’t actually want to... be his friend. 

WRONG.

Because Chowder gets on a flight and heads back to Samwell and Kent Parson gets back to Vegas (and snuggles Kit) and THEN Kent Parson gets a text.

And that text is chirping him. Hard. For his coding notes.

“Lol. Dude. Really?? These don’t even make sense!”

“I told you I was bad at it! You’re lucky I tried.”

“It looks like you gave up halfway through and started doodling hockey plays.”

“... that is actually supposed to be some zeros and ones?? he wrote them on the board??”

“holy shit.”

and suddenly kent parson finds himself sort of smiling and laughing at his phone and he would say it is one conversation but then he gets a GOOD LUCK! text before his next game and then a bunch of texts DURING the game that he sees after and then-

Then he gets a “Remember to ice your shoulder!!!” the next day and, okay, yes, it’s weird that this guy has BEEN IN HIS BODY and thus knows that his shoulder bothers him but its also... its also nice??

So Kent Parson says fuck it. And he sends Chowder that sweater he liked so much. Because Chowder is being really nice to him and he... okay he will try to have a friend. 

Note: Kent Parson trying to have a friend is a Disaster. because Kent Parson knows his weaknesses: He is bad at emotional conversations, he cannot give relationship advice, he is sarcastic and rude and-- he is not good at being Friends with someone. Chowder’s natural friendliness is something he can appreciate but has difficulty reciprocating.

But you know what he does have?

Money.

Lots and lots of money. 

And no one to spend it on.

Until now. 

Kent Parson cannot say “Thank you for wishing me good luck before my games” so he buys Chowder fancy sweaters and t-shirts and fashionable pants and sends them on over. Kent Parson cannot say “It is cool you remind me to ice my shoulder” so he also sends new sheets (accompanied by pseudo-snide remarks such as “so i dont have to lay on that sandpaper if we ever have to switch back”). Kent Parson cannot tell Chowder that texting him during the day has become something of a highlight but he CAN buy chowder that coding software he was going on about and e-mail him the product key and he also can get people on the Sharks to sign stuff and mail it to Chowder and, look, he knows that getting Chowder’s family season tickets to the sharks game would be Too Much (at least... right now) but he does offer them when chowder goes home for breaks.

Look, as they text more and more, Chowder puts up with his sarcastic sense of humor and dark moods and doesn’t seem to take it personally when kent just texts back ‘yeah whatever’ after loses.

Chowder is just plain nice to him and Kent does his best to follow Chowder’s complaints about school and tries to offer advice when Chowder admits that sometimes he feels torn between Nursey and Dex and their constant bickering and wishes they would both just stop but Kent knows he cannot actually be that helpful. Even when Chowder texts: “gosh its nice to have someone not involved that i can vent to,” kent knows that he is not adding to chowder’s life nearly as much as chowder is adding to his.

With the time difference, Kent now usually wakes up to a few texts from Chowder and Chowder thinks Kit is the devil but still doesn’t mind when Kent sends pictures of her and Chowder... Chowder sometimes ever so casually reminds him that he doesn’t actually need alcohol (”you could just go home dude. wanna play starcraft?”

Oh right. That’s the other thing. Chowder has got him into computer games. Games that they can play together. On the same time. Kent has never done it before and its embarassing to be bad at something but somehow with chowder its not so bad and he’s already promised that after the season, he is going to have much more time to dedicate to it and chowder thinks that they can get really GOOD over the summer and it becomes... their thing

When Nursey and Dex are driving Chowder crazy or Kent is actually free, the two log on and play some nerdy computer game shit (kent’s words. he keeps calling it that even after he admits he "sorta kinda likes it okay??”).

OF COURSE BECAUSE KENT PARSON CANNOT COMMUNICATE, he just keeps SENDING GIFTS. Which Chowder accepts at first, partly because he doesnt really know how much all this shit costs.

Nursey finally clues him in “dude, is that shirt fucking All Saints?” and Chowder is like “uh... what?” and that breaks the mystery and suddenly Chowder is like... wait a minute. this dude has sent me probably over a thousand dollars worth of nice ass clothes (and sheets and towels) all in the name of “In Case We Ever Switch Back.”

Not To Worry: At this point it is Summer Break. Which means that Chowder can just go, meet up with Kent in person and tell him that while he appreciates the gifts, kent should probably stop. They both now know not to wish on any shooting star anymore. They are probably good. 

So Chowder texts Kent something like “dude im home may 22nd-- when are we meeting up over break?” and Kent gets it and lowkey PANICS because like... Chowder wants to hang out with him?? And he can’t even just take him to a hockey game because the season is over?? WHAT WILL THEY DO??

Better to stay on home turf, Kent decides. He can take Chowder out in vegas and they can hit the casinos and maybe he’ll rent a limo and-- “Im free anytime” he texts back, hoping that doesn’t make himself sound lame. “when do you wanna come over?”

And then Kent Parson is thrown for a loop because Chowder ruins his plans by saying “you should come here! i’ll show you non-hockey parts of san jose! first weekend of june?? promise no one will yell at you!!” and kent... well hes not gonna say no obviously but he... he can’t take chowder to casinos if they arent in vegas and--

“Bring your laptop” chowder says. “starcraft IN PERSON”

Look this deserves a 15k fic of its own but picture: Kent Parson, nervous, awkward, feeling a little like he did when he visited the zimmermanns except not because he and chowder are just friends so there’s less... challenge and also he has grown up a little and so its just very embarassing for him and chowder’s whole family is the nicest and he sleeps in the guest room and they just-- They play starcraft. They go see a movie. They walk around Chowder’s favorite park. They drive up to the beach with Farmer. They go to an arcade. Normal people stuff. They do normal people stuff. 

And Chowder sits Kent down and is like “dude you gotta stop sending me presents like some kind of weirdass sugar daddy” and Kent does turn bright red at that one because he was kind of just lowkey hoping chowder didn’t notice but Chowder manages to make it not TOO awkward and then its just sort of a funny and Kent promises to stop (he wont really... chowder gets a new gaming computer for his birthday but kent claims that is because chowders weak ass system is affecting his gameplay but that not til later so thats okay)

MORE SURPRISING is Chowder agrees to come up to vegas to celebrate kent’s birthday on july 4th. Farmer comes for part of it (but she has work) while chowder stays for five whole days and they... they stay in kents apartment and play more computer games. chowder tries to build up kent’s tolerance for spicy food and then laughs at him when he dies. they go play hockey at the rink. they just... hang out. like friends. 

It’s weird and bizzare and THEN TO TOP IT OFF Chowder (who is a wee bit drunk at this point because they aren’t just going to not drink or gamble at all-- chowder had doubled his 40 dollars today!!) says something like “do you think we can switch back again? if we tried?”

and kent (also tipsy, but just like... tipsy. not wasted) says “uh... no?”

and chowder says “LETS TRY” and kent says “why?” and chowder says “FOR FUN” and kent says “alright if you want”

and the two stand and hug and kent thinks “alright switch back” and then he pulls back 

And look into his own face

Which is grinning at him. 

“oh my god” chowder (in kent’s body) says. “This is gonna be so fun.”

ENDING THERE FOR NOW because i’ve got to stop writing this AU. what is this. what is my life. i don’t... i don’t even go here. 

[ask-svt-hearteu]

Mafia! Woozi

Anon requested: “ since it’s our jihoonie’s birthday today, can i request a mafia!au for out vobo? hehe i just saw that requests are open & i got rly excited !! 💗💗 — daydreaming anon (hbd woozi i love you sO MUCH) “

Word Count: 3679

you never thought you’d be here 

3:58am on a Saturday in one of the most heavily protected buildings in the entire city 

hooking up your sad $535 laptop and praying to whoever runs the universe 

that you’ll be able to go home and eat breakfast in time

as is the life of a hacker

a professional top-of-the-line hacker for hire

too bad the government hasn’t noticed your talent yet

or you would be working for the good guys

but you’re working for whoever helps pay the rent now

and if you take down some corrupt businesses while you’re working for the mob

who cares

that’s enough vigilante justice for you

honestly you’d think that one of the most powerful companies in the city would know better than to have such weak protection for their systems

you shake your head as you smirk and carefully unplug your laptop 

done 

easiest $30,000 dollars of your life 

the company had been known to “donate” a percentage of their revenue back into the city 

things like feeding and housing the homeless 

or ensuring kids go to school and aren’t on the streets 

but in reality they were pocketing all of it 

and come morning 

you would have just exposed their asses 

climbing back out the vent you came through 

you shouldered the backpack with your laptop 

and crawled until you reached the building’s service entrance 

dropping down you were fully intending to walk casually straight out the building 

until you felt your arm jerk as you were roughly pulled behind a wall 

“What the fu-“ 

the person who did it covered your mouth roughly 

and your eyes widened as you saw one of the guards walk by 

you silently cursed at yourself for not monitoring the CCTV system 

you had assumed hacking into it was fine 

but you forgot to check the guard’s positioning 

after he passed you turned back to the person who had just saved your ass 

“Thanks I guess.” 

he didn’t say anything but gave you a sideways glance and shrugged as he pulled out a definitely more expensive and way better laptop than yours 

as he connected it to one of the computers in the room 

“Who are you btw?” You asked eyeing him suspiciously 

he smirked

“What’s it to you?” he replied quietly 

it almost sounded like he was teasing you 

“Sorry if you got offended at me trying to be polite.” You scoff annoyed 

who was this guy? 

he had jet black hair 

and was not super tall from what you could see 

but when he turned back to look at you 

your breath caught in your throat 

“You broke into a high security building to clumsily hack into a system and expose their lies, I don’t think manners are our top priority right now.” he answered looking straight into your eyes

you stared blankly in shock 

“How did you...?” how did he know?

“Regardless I’m here to undo it.” 

you watched as he clicked shut his laptop and faced you 

“The fuck! I’m getting paid, what am I supposed to tell my client?” you said 

he smirked again as he packed up his laptop 

“There are better ways to expose this company.” 

and with that he disappeared 

like legit 

gone poof 

he walked found his escape route before you even had time to process what he meant

you blinked and he was gone 

when you finally returned to your apartment when the sun came up 

and clicked on the tv 

the news was playing 

“-donates half of their entire yearly revenue to creating shelters for the homeless...” 

your jaw dropped 

while you had wanted to expose to the media this company’s lies 

whoever that guy was last night 

had transferred over half of the entire company’s revenue 

in the five minutes he had spent saving you from lifetime in prison 

who the fuck was he? 

 his name was Lee Jihoon 

and honestly did he ever think he’d have to deal with other hackers even close to his caliber? 

nope 

but you had broken through into the company’s servers in record times 

he was intrigued 

and more than a bit competitive 

“Jeonghan, you think you could look up someone for me?” he asked walking into Svt’s main meeting room

Jeonghan was hunched over some papers planning the next job no doubt

without looking up, Jeonghan said

“That’s like asking if I like taking naps Jihoon, who do you think I am? All I need is a name-” 

“I don’t have her name yet.” 

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow swiveling in his chair to face Jihoon 

his blue prints and detailed plans fluttering at the sudden movement 

“Her?” Jeonghan questioned, teasing smile on his lips  

“I can’t work with you.” Jihoon rolled his eyes while walking off to find Seungcheol 

“WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘HER’?!?!?” Jeonghan yelled after him smiling 

Jihoon had joined Seungcheol’s team a while ago 

one of the original members 

but the others didn’t really know about him at first 

because he kept to himself 

usually tinkering with gadgets in his own office in the Svt complex 

overlooking the city 

overlooking their territory 

he also may have held up a gun to Soonyoung’s head when Soonyoung tried to touch him 

jokingly 

or so everyone would like to think XD 

one time Seungkwan had lost a bet to the others 

and was dared to go into Jihoon’s office

-just to try to learn more about this teammate they didn’t see much of 

but they got caught

and Seungcheol was scolding them until Jihoon walked out and told them to just order dinner and call it done 

and tbh although this cold mafia hacker didn’t easily trust people 

that one night where he got to sit down with the whole gang for a meal finally 

and although he would never admit it 

after being around the whole gang for years 

he trusted them with his life 

one of the best hackers hands down 

sometimes jokingly gets called the cyber shadow 

bc he’s Svt’s hidden member 

doesn’t go out in the field for most missions 

but has a hand in planning, masterminding, and orchestrating the whole thing 

didn’t like going out for any jobs anyway

that is until he had the proper motivation to

you quietly slunk through the security room 

attaching your USB to the main computer 

uploading the code that would shut off alarms for an hour or until you turned it back on 

this job was easy

stop the security system long enough to allow your client to rob the facility 

once the system was down you called the client 

“Yea the systems are down.” 

and you leaned back in your chair to monitor the camera systems as your client gang snuck into the facility 

“Honestly thought you’d be some social justice warrior but it looks like you’re in this for money.” 

you nearly fell out of the chair at the sound of that voice 

one you’d never forget 

“You!” You pointed at the guy you met that night 

he had entered the security room quietly behind you and was leaning against the wall

“Yep it’s me.” He smirked setting down a bag 

his black hair tousled lightly and hidden behind his hoodie 

he might be considered cute or good looking maybe 

ahem even though he’s totally not your type 

“I mean I do what I do for money too, but I’m surprised you play dirty also.” He laughed taking out a laptop 

“What are you doing here?” You say cutting straight to the point 

“While you’re helping this small gang live for another day, I’m helping kings grow an empire.” 

his smirk was really starting to make your heart flutter annoy you 

“and so you’re here because...?” you ask rolling your eyes 

“There’s access to the servers from this security room since the facility houses both companies.” 

you snort 

“You’re trying to hack the credit loan company next door?” You try to hold back giggles 

what kind of kings, please you think sarcastically 

here you were stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars and he was trying to hack a credit loan company 

“Information is much more valuable than money sometimes, a big drug smuggler wired money through this place and I want to know how much.” He shrugs 

“Speaking of information...” he says turning to walk right up to your chair  

you’re taken back as he walks right up in your face 

“What’s your name?” He asks placing a hand on either side of your chair 

his weight being balanced on his hands resting on the arm rests of your chair 

his eyes inches from yours 

“I don’t kiss and tell.” you say not backing down from his stare 

it was hard breathing with him so close 

he smiled 

“Let’s trade info then.” He laughed, “a name for a name.” 

“How can I trust you?” You saying tilting your head 

he steps back from you finally giving you room to breathe again 

“You can’t trust me, but I promise that I actually do keep my word... sometimes” 

you looked at him trying to decipher his words 

he looked like that joking smirk was forever an aspect of his face 

but in his eyes 

you thought you saw something genuine 

curiosity maybe 

or something else 

“Fine, my name is y/n.” You give in, “but maybe I’m lying or maybe I’m not.” 

“I’m Lee Jihoon.” He said breaking out into a smile before continuing his hacking 

at that moment your phone vibrated indicating your clients were done with the job 

Jihoon was still bent over his laptop typing away 

you thought about his adorable smirk and how it made your heart skip a beat 

and you blushed, flustered that he showed you up last time 

but this time you’d be the last one laughing 

you unhooked your USB that had been preventing the alarms from going off and ignored the warning window 

and that was when the security room’s alarms started blaring making Jihoon jump 

“Well hate to run while we were having so much fun,” you smirk, “but good luck explaining this to the cops.” 

you ran out the room right as the doors locked behind you 

as you looked back at him after getting into the car 

rather than angry he looked exasperated 

and slightly impressed maybe? 

you drove off before the police really did appear 

“SHE AHAHAHAHA SHE AHAHAHA LOCKED THE ROOM AHAHAHAHA.” Mingyu was dying on the ground laughing 

“I swear I might actually shoot you.” Jihoon said blushing 

“You have to admit she got you.” Joshua said bringing Jihoon a cup of cola and hiding a smile

“SHE FREAKING LOCKED HIM IN THE SECURITY ROOM!” Mingyu howled 

“Wow she must be something.” Jeonghan chuckled, “When was the last time you were caught off-guard, Jihoon? I can’t remember that ever happening.” 

“Luckily you got out before the cops showed.” Seungcheol smiled patting Jihoon on the back 

they were all having a tad bit too much with the situation

“She must not know who she’s messing with.” Minghao said before getting up

“So tell me her name.” Jeonghan snickered

“Y/n.” Jihoon said done with everyone

“I’ll have her file to you by midnight.” with that the gang dispersed, leaving Jihoon to wonder

what kind of person are you?

you had a lot more run-ins with “Lee Jihoon” after that night in the security room

whether you were out doing little jobs or big ones

he always seemed to know where you were

“Are you following me?” you asked him one night 

the both of you were at city hall

you were trying to get into the mayor’s financial plans, info that would sell

and he was connecting to the police line

“Why would I do that?” he retorted 

it was dark so you didn’t see him blushing

but he had indeed followed you here

he wasn’t sure what it was

but you had not only intrigued him and caught his attention

but Jeonghan had been unable to dig up anything on you

which was almost impossible

Jeonghan knew how to get anything on anyone

and so Jihoon was here to find out info the old fashion way

talking

“You seem too smart of a person to be a criminal.” he began looking over your shoulder at the laptop you were working on

“So do you.” you respond ducking out from next to him to continue working

“I’m not a genius, but I think that if you’re not the best at something, you’ll always put more effort into it.” he shrugged

you clicked your laptop shut

“Wanna go get coffee?” you said suddenly

he looked up in surprise

“What?!” 

“It’s almost 5am, and from running into you consistently these past few days, I realized I never thanked you for saving me from that guard. I’m not sorry about the security room thing though, that was funny.” you laughed, “but I’m going to go get coffee and if you want I’ll buy you a cup too, that way we’re even.”

“I don’t see how coffee makes us even.” he snorted

“Fine I’m leaving then.” you briskly turned around and started walking

you hear him jog to catch up to you and fall into step next to you

“Coffee is better than nothing i suppose.”

over a cup of coffee the two of you talked a bit

“So where did you learn how to hack?” you ask

“Are we close enough to be asking those kinds of questions?” he responded taking a sip of his coffee

“I suppose not.” you looked down disappointed 

you weren’t sure about Jihoon

you two had met under dangerous circumstances

and you didn’t know enough about the guy to suddenly start liking him

but every time his eyes met yours

or whenever you watched him swiftly hacking into something

fingers flying over the keyboard the way a pianist’s fingers played the piano

you couldn’t help the feeling of awe and curiosity 

who was he?

Jihoon coughed

“How about we start with what we do for a living?” he laughed, “I think that’s enough for now.”

so you told him a bit about being a hacker for hire

nothing really interesting

besides living 

that’s all there was to it

you were just living your life one job at a time

he sighed

“I think I understand.” he looked out the window 

“I was like that too until I found the others.” he stirred his cup before downing it

“Others?” you ask

“My friends, I guess you’d call them.” 

you pursed your lips

“Don’t you know what friends are?” you asked in return

“I don’t really trust people you know, occupational hazard.” he chuckled

you understood

people too often stab you in the back when you’re doing this kind of job

it was hard to find anyone to trust

his phone buzzed

and you watched as he picked it up

“Looks like I gotta go.” he smiled, “It was actually kind of fun to see how normal people live out of the shadows.”

you nodded in agreement

“It was also nice talking to you.” you said reaching out to shake his hand, “Hopefully our next few run-ins can be on more friendly terms.” you laugh

he reaches for your hand 

gently, as his hand takes yours

and as he pulls you closer to him

“Stay safe.” he says gently into your ear

and then he’s gone

you sit frozen in your spot at what just happened and look over at his empty cup

on the cup are nine letters scrambled up

you stare at it recalling him writing it on his cup when he was talking with you

and you realized 

it’s his number

you pick up the cup, unconsciously smiling

and go home

you don’t see him the next few nights

heck for the whole week you don’t

you half-expected him to melt out of the shadows with a smirk on his face and some teasing comment about your hacking abilities

but he wasn’t around

it was more than a bit worrying

you had his number and you were tempted to call

but could you?

you shook your head as you made your way out that night for your next job

the client had been a bit of a mystery

they called using a disposable phone which wasn’t uncommon 

except they also used voice modulation

suspicious perhaps but you were getting paid

you walked up to the address they had left

a small office building

and climbed in through a window

gently setting your things down you were about to begin when

the whole world went dark

and suddenly the smell of chloroform made the world feel dizzying as you slowly closed your eyes

when you woke up

your head hurt and everything felt upside down

but more than that

what greeted your vision first

was the appearance of a gun

pointed right at you

“You’re up.” 

the voice was rough and you felt like throwing up at the sound of it

“Yea I’m up you freaking asses, what the fuck do you want?”

“We require your services.”

“Then go through the proper channels and pay me you pricks.” you said trying to keep clam

the gun was raised 

“Is this enough payment?’ the voice said indicating the gun

“Whatever, let’s just get this done.” you took deep breaths

not that this hasn’t happened before

but you had never had a gun so close in your face

and it was terrifying to think you might not see the sun rise today

you pulled up to the desk of the room the men were in

and turned on the computer as they watched you

whoever had programmed the firewall for the servers knew what they were doing

you were nearly stumped

until you remembered something Jihoon had done that night in the security room

why did he come up in your thoughts now?

you remembered him telling you to stay safe

and looking at the guys with bullets ready to be fired at you

your eyes started tearing up

you know how these things go

as soon as you were done, you were dead

“Hurry it up.”

you opened the files on the computer and looked through some of it

a lot were mainly book stuff

how much this group was getting paid and when the latest orders for weapons were coming in

you assumed that whoever you were hacking, they must be a competing gang to the men currently holding you captive

you looked deeper into the files until you stumbled across a peculiar file

in it were names

“Yoon Jeonghan” you read to yourself

“likes napping and stealing my cola mostly, overall a good person to talk to” 

“Hong Jisoo” you read the next file

“quiet and also not quiet, good listener.” you were curious

what kind of files were these?

and then one file popped up

“Y/n L/n.” you held your breath

“likes coffee at five am in the morning”

you knew who the computer belonged to 

a bang on the door jolted you from the files

“Fuck!” the men scrambled to brace themselves as the door blew open

you took cover under the desk as you heard bullets going off and yelling

maybe this was all just a bad nightmare

you closed your eyes and silently listed off numbers

a hand gently took yours and you opened your eyes

Jihoon was there with the most adorable and relieved smile on his face

“Well, had I know you were coming to visit me today, I would have bought coffee.” he pulled you up into his arms and gently walked you out the room

“Don’t mind the guns and stuff, I’m sure you’re not all too curious about the guys that tried to kill you.” he said 

you heard an edge to his voice but didn’t look at your surroundings until he had lead you to a separate room with a couch

sitting down with you, it finally hit you

you’re not dying today

you were shaking as he gently placed his arms around you

“I’m surprised you broke through my firewall, guess I have to fix that as soon as possible.” he chuckled wrapping you up in his arms 

“The frick Jihoon.” you laughed smacking his arm, “I almost died and exposed your identity and you’re concerned about your firewall?”

“Well yea.” he smiled, “And I’m trying not to bash their heads in but Seungcheol said that would require a lot of clean up in the morning and I’m not down for that.” 

you weren’t sure if he was joking or not

“Kidding, kidding, they’re all ok and currently being dropped off at the police station with a note that says ‘courtesy of your friendly neighborhood mafia’.”

“I still have no idea if you’re joking or not Jihoon.”

“Let’s just pretend I’m serious then.” he said as you both started laughing

“I’m just glad you’re safe.” you said blushing at hearing your own words

“Why wouldn’t I be, you were the one in trouble here y/n”

“I could have taken them.”

“Sure sure.” he smiled

“Listen, I’m not letting you out of my sight again. I genuinely thought that perhaps it’d be safer for you without interacting with me, but this situation only proved that I can’t let you go anywhere by yourself.” he said turning to face you

“So stay here with me will you?” his eyes looked gently into yours

“I-”

“We have high speed internet and netflix.” he laughed “If you’re interested.”

“So I’d have to live with the mafia?” you asked raising an eyebrow

“No you’re just living in our territory and that way I can see you more often.” he shrugged

“Ok but only if the netflix thing is for sure.” you laugh

and you’re surprised as he gently presses his lips against yours

the scent of something floral and citrusy warming you as his gentle lips kissed yours

“As long as you’re here with me.” he said

MASTERLIST

[susandsnell]

it's been bugging me for a while now, but five worst parts of the dark Knight and one good part. bc I know you hate the movie 😂😂

boh. oh my gosh. b please don’t hate me.  😂😂

Five worst parts of the Dark Knight: 

5. The Filmmaking. More specfically: LONG AND WASHED OUT PALETTE. IT’S SO FUCKING LONG. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE OVER TWO AND A HALF HOURS WITH TEN PLOTS TO WRAP UP AND HAVE NO FUCKING COLOURS IN IT. WE GET IT, NOLAN, A MAN DRESSED UP AS A BAT BRINGS YOU NO JOY AND SO NOW WE HAVE TO NOT HAVE ANY JOY IN OUR HEARTS EITHER, THANKS A LOT. HERE I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE FUN AT A MOVIE ABOUT BATMAN, BUT YOU SURE PROVED ME WRONG. 

4.  The Writing. Holy pretentious dialogue Batman! Where do I begin?Harvey Dent’s “I will state the theme of my arc in the most lazy and blatant foreshadowing speech until Emma Stone literally says she’s gonna die in the opening of The Amazing Spiderman 2″ gets quoted all the time and yes, superhero movies aren’t known for their subtlety, and not all great movies need to be subtle, but the “die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain” is egregious not only for the reasons I stated, but is a nauseating indicator of the film’s cynicism (despite what the boat climax purports to be proving!). Alfred’s “some men just want to watch the world burn” speech is similar albeit less facepalmy and Theme Stating. It’s blunt and heavy-handed, overly expositional, and very hit-you-over-the-head with regard to commentary. 

And here’s the thing! It could work in the context of the type of movie it is - The Shape of Water pretty much opens with a statement of the “who the real monster is” idea, but it works because the film is a fairy tale and presents itself as such, whereas this movie wants to have its cake and eat it too as a “super adult DEEP subtle COMPLEX movie” with incredibly clear and simple shit like this. Beyond that,  Nolan really has a dialogue issue in a lot of his works where nobody just has a fucking conversation. Everything has to be the most serious issue in the world or a ten thousand word treatise on the fundamental dichotomies of human nature or some shit you’d hear in a freshman philosophy 101 course from that guy nobody can tolerate who thinks he’s G-d’s gift because he wears glasses or some shit, I don’t know. Even the Joker, an agent of chaos, gets wrapped up into it! Like he is a showman, but the yammering and rambles of shit that isn’t even that deep but pretends to be gets on my damn nerves. And the worst part is that it comes at the expense of the characters. 

They don’t really…develop emotional bonds (even with Rachel, the token woman And Therefore the Object At Which Emotions are Thrown). I’m not invested because none of these characters are real or relatable or have human interactions. The script shouldn’t be an anchor that drowns the actors and suffocates the characters to the point that there’s no chemistry, no connection, no believable core. Alfred is practically Bruce’s father and I get no love out of them! Harvey and Bruce don’t connect at all! Lucius Fox, the only POC in the entire movie, is literally reduced to a plot device despite having moral concerns! 

3. That damn third act. This one takes special mention because it just pisses me off. It’s just too much! The chase with the Joker would be fine, but that’s not the end. His plot already extends way beyond where it would logically end (hence the bullshit runtime), but on top of that, on top of the drama with the escape ferries hammering you over the head with the point they’re trying to make about humanity and the obnoxious moralizing, and then you have Harvey’s fall to the dark side which I’m sorry, needed a lot more time than just getting crammed in to the back end of the movie. His descent into evil happened way too quickly. Two-Face is a great villain! But take Batman the Animated series (to me, the best adaptation of Batman there is, while not perfect) as an example: he’s established as a character and his descent into Two-Face receives the full focus of entire episodes and impacts the characters later on! Having him play sideshow to the Joker is a huge mistake, especially with something as huge at play as threatening Gordon’s family; it completely disrupts the focus of the plot and unnecessarily prolongs the film as a whole, but he goes down pretty easily in one of the movie’s shitty-ass fight sequences that I’d make their own point if there weren’t worse things because I can’t tell who’s punching who. And if you’re gonna rush Dent into villainy only to kill him, that makes his whole plot kinda a waste.

And The Dark Knight Rises was a lot more criticized than the Dark Knight, so how’s this for a fix for the entire trilogy? Don’t kill Two-Face. Keep Joker getting carted away gloating about having corrupted him, but then have Two-Face get away too.  Don’t make whitewashed lamely written Bane the villain of the next movie - instead, let the tail end of this movie build Two-Face up as the main villain for the final part! That way, you have more time for development, cohesiveness, consequences, exploration of themes, and you don’t waste characters. 

2.  Batman / Bruce Wayne’s entire character. Okay, so whenever I fawn over the Lego Batman movie and how it confronts the issue with modern portrayals of Bats and rightfully points out it’s not deep, he’s just a humongous dick, this feels like the source material of that popular portrayal. Of course, it pre-dates it in the comics - Miller and company are to blame for Grimdark Asshat who Batmansplains, but I feel like Dark Knight especially, for its success and greater accessibility as a film, is what widely propagated this portrayal. 

Secret identity or cape and cowl, there is a serious issue in your Batman movie if your Batman is terrible. He’s the protagonist, the titular character, and he’s fucking terrible! At best, Bruce Wayne is like…completely deadpan and not even there (I don’t give Bale shit because I think a lot of the fault lies with the writing/direction, Ledger was pretty much the only lively performance in the movie), placeholder of a protagonist. At worst, he comes off as deeply self-centered, self-aggrandizing, entitled, and violently unstable. I don’t care how bad the Joker is, when in custody, he still had legal rights, and Batman fucking tortured him. Even brutal criminals should not ever be tortured for information! And the film never engages with Bats reaching the point of beating people to a pulp as means of interrogation; he just feels conflicted about who’s worse and broods over it after the fact instead of, I don’t know, maybe thinking twice about torturing someone. The darker Marvel Netflix shows have their characters doing a lot of grim things, but the narrative or other characters almost always holds them accountable for it in ways beyond “aww, I feel kinda sad that I beat mentally ill people to a bloody pulp” – it challenges them often, or has other characters call them out. Batman just does this shit and people are like “oh you shouldn’t do that” and he’s like “AHHH I’M A MONSTER” and it borders into uncomfortable real-life implications with regard to authority and violence. There’s something to be said for introducing grey morality into superhero media, and I get the anti-hero thing, but Dark Knight codified the “white guy grimdark antihero being actually just a terrible fucking person who is the good guy in name only” deal we see in a lot of our media today.

It’s one thing to have a complex and flawed protagonist, but you have to balance that out with redeeming qualities, otherwise, he’s not even a fucking superhero! Again, I refer back to the 90s animated series: Batman has his moments of ruthlessness, but it’s balanced out with the philanthropy work we see in Bruce Wayne, and moments of genuine compassion that he shows many of his enemies – he apologizes genuinely to Two-Face, often tries to give them an out, and is frequently super kind to Harley Quinn, bringing her the dress she was accused of stealing when she was sent back to Arkham in the episode where she tried to redeem herself, and frequently trying to get her to acknowledge that the Joker is abusive towards her, as well as convince her she can still start over and be a good person. On top of which, Batdad is super popular in both the show and the comics. He’s frequently shown as having an especial soft spot for children; addition to all his adopted kids, you also have a lot of his interactions with children, whether as Bruce or as Batman, marked by gentleness, care, and compassion, largely based on what he went through as a child. 

You get no such moment in the Dark Knight. I cannot for the life of me think of kids who would go to see this as a Batman movie and leave looking up to Batman and wanting to be like him except on the surface level of wearing a cool costume and punching bad guys. There is nothing heroic or admirable about this Bruce. He fights crime as a vigilante - brutally, I might add -and this time, it comes off more as a desire for vengeance than a desire for justice, a point which the film raises, but ultimately doesn’t resolve or engage with in a satisfying character arc. 

The closest thing we get to humanizing this character is his relationship with Rachel, and even then, his interactions with her have heavy shades of Friendzoned Nice Guy which is especially bullshit because he won’t pursue a relationship with her yet is bitter about any decisions she might make about her own love life. He doesn’t even care about her that much as anything more than a conquest! He really doesn’t, and Alfred tearing up the letter proves that – with regards to how he behaves towards her, it really feels like it’s not so much that the letter would break his heart as it is that he’d resent her beyond the grave! 

Worse yet, he gives no shits about anyone else. This has a lot to do with Nolan’s scripts having a toxic masculinity problem where it’s not cool for guys to sympathize with or have emotional bonds amongst themselves, but like… he’s allies in a shared venture with the other characters, and nothing more. Alfred is practically his dad but you wouldn’t know that. Gordon, as revealed in TDKR, was kind to him after his parents’ deaths, but they’re just partners. Harvey is a rival for claiming a woman!  In other adaptations, Bruce and Harvey’s friendship is fleshed out a lot so the guilt and shock of his transformation into Two-Face is really impactful! Here, Bruce doesn’t really give a shit beyond it just being another thing to do. 

And that’s what heroism and motivations are to Batman in this - just a thing to do. I don’t want to watch a hero who’d rather bitch about doing good than actually just fucking do good, this is the safety of your city, not a school essay! He doesn’t really seem to want to help people, he wants to complain about people, but then thinks he’s so fucking special and such a snowflake martyr for still helping them regardless! It’s such a deeply childish and yes, toxically male mentality. I know it’s become a meme, but the ”I’m not the hero Gotham needs, but the hero that it deserves” line pisses me off so much for this reason, as well as the fact that he thinks that Gotham’s flaws justify the fact that he beats the fuck out of people and roars in their face to get answers; I think the perfect refutation to both that line and how a superhero protagonist that explores what heroism means can actually be found in Wonder Woman – “It’s not about deserve, it’s about what you believe.” In fact, that’s what made Wonder Woman so good (and feminist!) – it’s rejection of toxic masculine ideals and emphasis on love, compassion and vulnerability being one’s strength, and that people are inherently deserving of being saved if you believe in the good of the world - a much better treatise on good and evil than “see, people sometimes don’t explode boats but they still suck so it’s okay for a billionaire in furry cosplay to beat the shit out of mentally ill people because that’s what this city deserves, a guy who’s more into violence than saving people.” He just doesn’t care, so why the hell should we?

And there’s just no arc. He just reacts to shit and that’s it, which makes him boring when he’s not being a fucking maniac. Despite the script not allowing him to have feelings for other human beings, having him break his no-kill rule with Harvey at the end would have been impactful….had he not already broken it in Batman Begins by leaving White Ra’s al Ghul (Liam Neeson I love you but there is no reason to have whitewashed him or Talia the way Nolan did in the series - same as he did with Bane and arguably Catwoman since she’s been portrayed as a WOC many times before, actually come to think of it, there is a LOT of whitewashing in this trilogy) to his death. 

The film comes up with no real way to challenge it’s hero, have him grow, or change, or even show consequences for his failure to change, making him come off as stunted, unlikeable, and yeah, not much of a hero.

1. The sexism. (You knew this was coming, and yes, it is the worst part). I already mentioned how the men in this movie all fall prey to toxic masculinity as is common with Nolan characters, then even more characteristic of a Nolan movie is The Dead Girlfriend, Wife, or Daughter (you know, the only three things women could ever be!) of Sad White Guy(s). Rachel is the only female character (strike one) and she is handled nothing short of atrociously. Her entire job as a lawyer, intelligence, and hard work established in Batman Begins (which is also too grimdark but actually doesn’t piss me off half as much!) is hardly even mentioned and takes a backseat to her being a prize for the men (including her boss!) to throw feelings at and squabble over. While the male characters have no personality except for one characteristic and a goal because this script was written by an edgy thirteen year old boy, Rachel has no personality except to be a living emotional crutch/plot device. She does not exist as an autonomous individual outside her relationships to the men in the movie. Shit, she’s barely autonomous within these relationships! Bruce is a bitter little shit about her not wanting him back and we’re supposed to feel for him despite him literally offering her nothing relationship-wise for two movies and actively pushing her away at times! He feels he can’t be with her, but the framing is such that she shouldn’t have the right to be with anyone else, either! What the hell? I would even go so far as to say that her choosing Harvey just as she gets blown up, as well as how both of them got to that point, almost feel like the narrative punishing her for not wanting Bruce. More male entitlement bullshit. 

 And her fate…well, I mean. There’s a damn reason The Dark Knight is my go-to example when I want to explain what Fridging/Stuffed in the Fridge means. After having every possible stereotypical pigeonholed white girl trope tossed at her, Rachel is killed off callously for the character development and man angst of not one, but two self-obsessed stubbled white guys who make it about themselves and their right to act like phenomenal turds. She’s Helen of Troy – a woman blamed for people’s reactions to her (Harvey becoming Two-Face, Batsy or Bruce being saaaaaad, etc). She’s the Lost Lenore; a person reduced to how their death impacts their romantic interests.  We have reached peak Nolan here, and frankly, peak Batman too, because the franchise (comics, movies, etc) has always had this same problem with its treatment of women. Her fucking death isn’t even about her! It’s Harvey’s fucking villain origin and Bruce’s sad ending and Alfred’s resentment and note-burning and would she have waited, oh boo hoo, how about, did she have a fucking family, what would have happened if she hadn’t been murdered young, et fucking cetera. 

The thing that really gets me is that Rachel is by no means the worst treated woman in speculative fiction (especially not those that make a claim to some degree of intellectualism); she’s white, so her death is beautifully tragic and she’s put on a pedestal rather than being subjected to racialized misogynistic tropes (being treated more roughly by the narrative, having her suffering ignored or erased altogether, her death being callously ignored except for a throwaway line of dialogue, etc), she’s not unnecessarily and gratuitously sexually brutalized for shock value (that looks uncomfortably like fetishism at times) like the women on Game of Thrones or in nu!Bond movies, or, if we’re still in the Batman universe, Barbara Gordon in any iteration of the Killing Joke (which is another tentpole of misogyny in the Batman universe and I fucking hate it and it clearly influenced the Dark Knight, so, chicken, egg). She isn’t forcibly sterilized and her inability to get pregnant treated as making her a freak like AOU Black Widow. She has no pointless and insulting fanservice scenes like Carol Marcus in her underwear in Star Trek: Into Darkness. Her suffering is not treated as empowerment like any number of women written by Joss Whedon, she isn’t used to be chewed up and spat out and destroyed in a romance with either a guy who terrifies her and in whom she’s shown no prior romantic interest or an outright villain who has caused her nothing but pain in some stupid half-assed not-redemption arc where she has to sublimate herself and be stupidly forgiving beyond the willing suspension of disbelief so some horrible man can evolve.

But why this sexism sticks out to me is that it’s so insidious; if it were more on the nose like the examples I listed above, it’d almost be less jarringly offensive, but it masquerades as her being an empowered yet tragic character and weaves into an overall narrative that validates all the tropes I mentioned, and legitimizes itself in a way that feels fundamentally dishonest about how sexist it’s being. Worse yet, there’s the fact that The Dark Knight is more than just self-contained; its influence on not just comic book movies, but all kinds of media as we know it, is undeniable. And as far as setting the example goes? This hugely well-regarded, influential film is almost entirely white, and tells us that women exist as distractions, tragedies, and extensions of men’s storylines, and this bullshit has been echoing in similar media works since. 

AND NOW, THE ONE (or multiple!) NICE THING(S): 

All this being said, I admit there actually are a lot of things I like about this movie if I can separate them enough from the main issues! 😂For one thing, Hans Zimmer’s work on the score is top-notch; I listen to Like a Dog Chasing Cars and Harvey Two-Face all the time and the music alone provokes stronger emotions for the characters than anything in the movie actually did. The opening heist is just fantastically entertaining, and up until the messy third act, the pacing and plot is pretty tight and engaging! Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker is of course fantastic; although he’s not my favourite Joker, he really gave it his all, and is by and large the highlight of the film. Nolan is really good with visual appeal (with the exception of that damn colour palette) and the shots are fantastic. I really love the chase scene with the Joker and wish the rest of the movie held my excitement like that.  

Finally, it’s odd to say this, but I really like the world of the movie once I ignore the characters and plot. The Gotham that was built in Nolan’s trilogy, the contrast between the classes with the lavish receptions and dinners versus the underbelly, the corruption versus the goodness, how these disparate elements work in a terrible symbiosis, the architecture and technology reflecting this character – it’s incredibly vivid, both grounded in reality and yet sufficiently speculative fiction-y enough to be intriguing. I just wish that the people in it matched the quality of the setting. 😂😂😂

[lordmomourmomoness]

this is just a personal rant i need to express uh right so i have somewhat of a personal philosophy when it comes to performing or more specifically being hired to perform. like? idk how to say this without coming across like an asshole but i don’t like being invited (forced) to perform for funerals & weddings & parties. & maybe this just makes me a purist & it’s hard to explain this to people who don’t actively attend church or even know what a worship set is or what worship culture is lol. like when i sing ? it’s like we’re all worshipping together & we’re all connected & i just happen to be on a stage u know ? & that’s how it should be. like we’re all focusing on god rn it’s not about me or you or anyone else in this room rn it’s about worship.

& here it’s hard to explain or for you to get context bc if you haven’t experienced true, spirit-filled worship it’s just not gonna compute u know bc there’s no basis for u to relate to & btw this is not some “my religion is better than urs” bullshit. im just saying that christian worship culture is such a all-encompassing & prominent part of who i am and the people im surrounded by but that realm also simply doesn’t exist to some people u know?

so anyways with worship, our aim is this very real out-of-body experience that we call “anointing” and it’s not magic it’s not some quantifiable substance i stick in back pocket before i get onstage. u have to connect to god u have to open up & let all this life crap fall away & rly truly focus on god u know? and church services u know, everyone is here simply for that. that’s literally the reason we’re all here. worship & connection & revelation & fellowship. & playing diff events? we’re not here for that u know? it’s like a party or some shit & im like u want us to do what ? play music rn ? like a secular band ? like ???

& this doesn’t happen often i swear (& im usually good at handling it & it doesn’t happen within my church family but always fkn new people idek why them) but it’s just something i have a big personal issue with. & i am in no way saying that worship only occurs in church bc ofc not. how many dinner parties & hangouts & fkn hikes have turned into spontaneous worship sessions ? so many. (like that’s just what happens when at any given time, there’s a piano or a guitar & literally everyone in my family & close adult circle is musician or singer) it just irks me when someone hands me a schedule & goes “u play here & then here’s the other event shit & then imma need another song from u” im like “what song?” & they go “whatever u want just some noise;)” like okay fuck you:))

man idek know like maybe i am a purist abt this (no way im the only who feels like this too tho bc bethel & maverick city prolly feel this too) but i rly think worship is sacred & not fkn background noise u know ??? like i cannot even explain the power of the emotions i feel in worship. there’s nothing to compare it to okay. it’s like that insane slaphappy connectedness that you get a concert of an artist u love where everyone is singing the same words & it’s absolutely euphoric ? it’s like that but infinitely more stunning. like don’t even get me started on worship concerts.

so yeah im just thinking about this today bc i had to play a solo set for a funeral of some guy i think i met twice? & okay im not being a bitch bc im not rly annoyed by this i swear bc his widow is so sweet & i did say yes when she asked me & im bad at saying no to stuff when people CATCH ME OFF GUARD. & maybe it’s just bc i had to play for such a somewhat large audience. (when i say big audience, i mean an american audience of a couple hundred people, in India we play like thousands of people shows bc it’s a cultural relativism buddies) like im a little out of practice with this size bc with COVID we’ve been pretty split on sundays between in-person attendees & online live-stream attendees & maybe this is just my personal insecurities of having to play a solo set for the first time in a while & also this is literally strangers like a room of hundreds of strangers (im literally 1 of five brown people in this room) &

idek man its different performing a high-energy set by yourself bc u can’t bounce off other peoples energies ? like band mates? that’s RIDE OR DIE buddies right there we’re right as fuck it’s literally family so just being alone im like “i hate my life rn” & man idek & it wasn’t bad by any means solid 10 i stuck the landing & all that shit. it’s just weird not being able to connect to the audience u know ?

sry this was SO MUCH i’ve just been struggling with finding my place as a worship leader & yeah:)) bye

[chasholidays]

I actually haven't read "Are You Gonna Rise?" yet bc even though I know it's going to be great, it gives me anxiety, but I already want a timestamp for it? Or an alt-pov, you do what's the most fun for you.

Original fic here!

Bellamy has never married anyone before.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” says Octavia. For once, she’s actually acting like an aunt to Madi instead of a vaguely distrustful stranger, braiding her hair while Bellamy adjusts his collar. “Why would you have married someone?”

“I wouldn’t have minded practicing first,” he says. “To make sure I’m doing it right. Wedding rehearsals used to be a thing.”

“Blame your wife,” says O. “She’s the one who was in a big hurry.” She finishes off Madi’s hair and surveys her critically. Bellamy expected Clarke to handle her preparation today, but Madi declared that Clarke would be busy enough with her own dress, and she didn’t want to be in the way.

Even after a six months, he still feels like he’s catching up to his place in Madi’s life. He loves her, of course, loves her like a daughter, but it’s rare for him to be alone with her.

Honestly, she probably just didn’t want to have to help with Clarke’s preparations, and Bellamy can’t blame her. This isn’t the first wedding they’ve had, but Clarke is still something like Skaikru royalty, and Abby is in overdrive trying to make the best wedding ever. And they’re both their own strange kind of popular, in Eden. Respected, maybe.

Whatever the reason, the wedding is a big deal. Everyone’s excited, and Madi is hiding with him until it blows over.

“Do you want makeup?” O asks her. “Facepaint?”

Madi thinks it over, glances at Bellamy. “Are you getting any?”

“No, I think I’ll just stick with my face.”

“Are you sure?” asks Octavia. “Have you seen your face?”

“Thanks, O. You’re really making this wedding special.” He nearly runs his hand through his hair, but remembers at the last second that he has product in it and isn’t supposed to touch it. “Clarke wasn’t rushing it, by the way. She just didn’t want to have to do it more than once. It’s such a fucking production.”

“Yeah, but that’s because everyone wants to know what to do,” Madi offers.

Bellamy blinks at her. “What?”

“I know this isn’t the first wedding, but–it feels like the first Wonkru wedding. That’s what everyone says. This is going to be the new tradition.”

“If I knew we were making new traditions, I would have made it less complicated.” He sighs, sits down next to Madi. “I guess that makes sense. I just don’t really care. All I want to do is get married.”

“Soooooo romantic.” Octavia sing-songs. That is good. It feels like he has his baby sister back, at least for a little while. It doesn’t feel like either of them is doing anything wrong, just that they have different priorities.

It’s nice. She grew up. She got to grow up.

“I don’t know why you’re acting like that’s some burn on me,” he observes. “I love the woman I’m going to marry. I’d like to be romantic about it. I just don’t think that requires a big wedding.”

“But you’re having one anyway.”

“And it’s going to be fun,” Madi adds. “I like parties.”

“All the weddings had big parties, though,” O says. “We’ll take any excuse for a party.”

“Yeah, I noticed. I can think of worse things.” He exhales, turns his attention back to Madi. “Okay, you want to come check out the setup with me or go hang out with Clarke?”

“Setup with you,” she says, without delay.

O has other things to do, so it’s just him and Madi, which is good, because he’s a little worried about her. And he knows that she doesn’t really trust his sister.

“You want to go for a walk?” he asks.

She frowns at him. “Can we?”

“Who’s going to stop us? We’ll be back in time for the wedding.”

“Then yeah.”

Most of Eden is busy with their day-to-day business, with no wedding-related duties and nothing to participate in until the ceremony starts in an hour. Toren is monitoring the gate they choose, and he just raises his eyebrows.

“Cold feet?” he teases.

“Nervous energy. We’ll be back soon.”

Bellamy’s still shocked by how good the Earth looks, every time he leaves Eden. He was expecting it to be a struggle to survive if they got down, even in the green spaces. But it’s been–easy. Six months, and his life is easy for the first time ever. It still feels as if it can’t be real, sometimes, as if ALIE must have custom designed this just for him. He got chipped, somehow, and he’s still on the Ark in some paradise that the AI thought he’d believe.

If it’s not real, he’ll take it. But he doesn’t think ALIE could have come up with this. She wouldn’t have dreamed up Madi.

“So, you okay?” he asks Madi.

“I’m okay.”

“And?” he prompts.

She huffs. “And it’s not like I imagined.”

“You were imagining my wedding? Or just Clarke’s?”

For some reason, she looks surprised. “She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“I used to think about this all the time,” she admits. “Me and Clarke both, we were so focused on five years, when the people would come back. And you’d come back, and you’d marry her, and we’d be a family.”

His mouth feels like it’s full of cotton. “That’s what’s happening,” he says, careful. “I was just late.”

“I know. I’m not upset about you,” she adds. “You’re great.”

“Thanks. You’re pretty great too.”

“It’s just hard sometimes. I didn’t know–I was so little, you know? I didn’t know what it was going to be like with all these people around. I don’t want your wedding to be about me, but it feels kind of like it’s about everyone else, you know?”

“I know, trust me. Is that why you aren’t with Clarke?”

“Yeah. Everyone is so–” She makes a face. “I know how important she is to everyone, and that’s nice. But I don’t want to see everyone telling her what she has to be.”

“You know you’re the most important person in her entire world,” he says. “Nothing’s ever going to change that.”

“I know. It’s stupid.”

“It’s not,” he promises. “Weddings are–fuck, I don’t know. I never went to any, but I don’t get them. Weddings should be about the people getting married, but I think a lot of the time, they’re about everyone else.” But it’s the same thing he’s been thinking all day, that this is the best day of his life, the day he thought would never come, the day he gets to marry his favorite person in the world, the one he thought he’d lost forever.

And it’s good, but it doesn’t feel that special to him.

“I don’t think we can get out of the ceremony,” he finally says. “But I bet we could skip the party.” Madi cocks her head, and he smiles. “This should be about us, right?”

“What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know. But we can talk to Clarke, figure something out. I bet she’s miserable.”

Madi smiles a little. “I bet. I should probably go check on her.”

“She’d probably appreciate it, yeah. And the good news is this is just one day. We’re going to be a family for the rest of our lives.”

“We’re already a family,” she says, fierce, and he smiles.

“Yeah. But officially.”

“Yeah,” she says. “I’ll tell Clarke you love her.”

“Good,” he says. “Thanks.”

*

Of course, Clarke looks beautiful. She put her foot down about too much makeup and face paint, which he appreciate. He associates Clarke in full Trikru regalia with the darkest days of his life, and they weren’t much better for her.

They agreed this wedding was going to feel like a fresh start, and that means everything is new.

“Hi,” he says, under his breath, once she gets to him.

“Hi.”

Indra clears her throat, and they both start guiltily. They do have lines.

“Please join hands,” says Indra, magnanimous, and Bellamy reaches for her.

The ceremony takes an hour, and it’s excruciating. From what Clarke and Octavia said, weddings up until this one were about ten minutes and no one cared that much about the actual ceremony part. He’s unspeakably jealous over this; all he wants is for no one to care about his wedding aside from enjoying the party. Instead, they’re setting a template for everyone else to use and suffer through for years to come.

On the bright side, after an hour, Indra tells him to kiss Clarke, and he does, and they’re officially married. It’s probably not the single best moment of his life; that’s probably still when he came down to the ground, and he saw Clarke while Octavia was in his arms. Like the marriage, it’s the best kind of good moment, the kind where it heralds plenty more good to come. He’s going to keep on being married to Clarke for the rest of his life.

“Thank goodness that’s over,” she says, leaning against his side, and Bellamy smiles.

“Seriously.”

“Madi said you wanted to skip the party.”

“I want to celebrate with my family,” he says.

One of the thousand reasons he loves her is that she gives him a wary look and asks, “What about your sister?”

“I don’t think my sister’s going to be offended that we don’t want her to leave the party with us. Today’s not about her anyway.”

She bites her lip. “Where’s Madi?”

“I think she’s still with Harper,” he says. She opted out of being in the ceremony, so she’s just in the crowd. “Why?”

“I need a second.”

There’s a crush of people wanting to congratulate them, but they’re also happy to just chat with each other. Clarke takes his hand and manages to maneuver them out of the throng, not all the way back to their own quarters, but private enough.

“Too many people?”

“We got married,” she says. “I want to celebrate with Madi, but–”

She tugs him down for a kiss, a much longer, deeper kiss than they shared in front of everyone. It’s not as if they don’t kiss all the time–they had sex this morning, before they had to split up for their separate preparations–but he’ll admit he needed that too. This is it. They belong to each other for the rest of their lives.

It’s been true for him since before Primfaya, but it’s nice to make it official.

He tries to thread his hand in her hair, but her hairstyle is too elaborate for him to make much headway. So he just tugs her closer instead, kisses her because he gets this. He has this forever.

And forever doesn’t even feel like it’s going to be over soon. They’re fine.

“Good?” he asks, resting his forehead on hers.

“Good. I love you.”

It’s not news anymore, but he’s never going to get tired of hearing it. “I love you too. Let’s go get Madi.”

Toren has joined Harper and Madi, and Bellamy thinks he’s been flirting with Harper, which is only slightly weird. He wants to like Toren, and it’s probably unfair of him that he doesn’t. He came along and whatever relationship Toren had with Clarke hadn’t even survived a day.

It’s just that he can’t help remembering all the time Toren was here, and he was on the Ark. It’s why Clarke hasn’t entirely warmed to Echo and Emori either, because they got so much of him that she missed out on.

It’s possible they’ll always be a little awkward. But they have matching rings on their fingers, and they’re happy.

“Congratulations,” says Toren.

“You guys looked great up there,” adds Harper.

“Thanks,” says Clarke. She grins at Madi. “I’m surprised you didn’t go take off your dress already.”

“I like my dress.”

“I like mine too, but I’m ready to get changed. Come on.”

They head back to their place and just stay there, as planned. In a way, it feels anticlimactic, but none of them really need a big climax here. He and Clarke are married, and that means they’re an official family, but the official part is the only real change. And it’s their celebration, not anyone else’s, so all they do is pile into their living room and play cards. Miller shows up to drop off food, as requested, but then he takes off for the party, and it’s just the three of them again.

“Do we need to toast or something?” he asks.

“Toast?” Madi asks.

“How did you picture this? When you thought about it?”

She smiles down at her slice of cake. “This was what I thought about. I thought you’d get married, and we’d all be happy.”

He leans over and kisses the top of her head. “That’s the plan, yeah. This is enough?”

“Yeah,” she says. “This is perfect.”

[listentotheshityousay]

protector is literally killing me. it's BEAUTIFUL. people have spent thousands of years trying to put words to the feeling of being in love and you write that Ache so. fucking. beautifully. /I/ hurt just reading it. thank you so much. that being said, (bc ur taste has won me over forever, BLESS), could you rec some of ur favorite bmc fics? (ik u answered an ask with some awhile back- I was wondering if you had any more?) TYSM in advance and i love you+your work to PIECES 💖💖💖💖

this ask delights me endlessly. thank you so much, anon!! I’ve been sulking over my ch6 draft today so this really helps my anxiety shut up 💕

okay so for anybody who didn’t see it before, here is a post from a while ago where I listed some of my favorite bmc fics. since then, I’ve been able to add several more fics to my catalogue of faves, so here’s some more fics I didn’t get to rec last time! all of them are boyfs except for one pinkberry fic!

Engagement Sequence by Kalopsia / @danisnotofire​

“You shot my fucking client,” Michael growls. The phone, on speaker a few inches away, practically rattles with Michael’s vaguely concealed anger.

“No,” Jeremy says, his voice calm as he carefully folds his one good suit and places it into his bag. He has no idea who he’s talking about, but it doesn’t matter. “I shot my fucking mark.”

There’s silence on the other end, and for a moment Jeremy thinks he’s hung up. But then he speaks again. “I’m going to shoot you.”

“Find me first,” Jeremy challenges, because this is who the Squip has made him, this is who he is, and clicks the red button to end the call.

-

Jeremy and Michael are both assassins. They’re not looking, but they find each other anyway.

look, this fic murdered me in a back alley and then dissolved my body in acid and I would 10/10 rec the entire experience. please, for the love of everything, just read this fic. 

ways to cope by KatMelody / @theyugiohtrashcan

“How long?” Michael asks, voice painfully soft.“Um… I… it was just an acci—”“Jeremiah. Please don’t lie to me. How long?“

the one in which jeremy heere is so, so bad at keeping secrets.

check the warnings on this one before reading, because it deals with self-harm. but I really loved how the topic was dealt with, and if you’re okay with that kind of subject matter, it’s definitely worth a read.

a crimson headache, aching blush by pondify / @playground-ghost

He supposes that it began, as it always does, with Michael.

this is a very short take on the boyfs as friends with benefits, and the pining in it is exquisite. do you like angst and hotness packed into 865 words?? here is your treat for the day.

I could lay right here and burn in you all day by cataclysma / @lifehateslemons

"You better fucking look at me.”Jeremy’s response is instant. His eyes snap open, immediately going to meet Michael’s intense gaze. Michael’s eyes are narrowed, dark behind the shields of his glasses. Fuck, he looks really hot like this.

in which jeremy is a kinky fuck and michael’s kink IS jeremy

hello do you like porn featuring 1. submissive jeremy 2. dom michael bossing jeremy around who then 3. immediately turns into a gentle soft boyfriend as soon as jeremy’s gotten what he needs??? here, have some scorching deliciousness.

Work in Progress by Nymm_at_Night / @nymm-kirimoto

Drarrymotter1015 and MoonGoon forge a friendship through fanfiction. On the other side of the screen, Michael and Jeremy try and figure out what’s left of theirs. Otherwise known the Fanfiction Writer! Au nobody asked for, but I wrote anyways.

okay look, you want to laugh your ass off over the boyfs unknowingly writing porn together over the internet?? because this fic’s got A+ banter, genuinely interesting story progression, and painful emotions all rolled up in the guise of the most meta-feeling fic of the year.

a little unsteady by starlithorizons / @starlithorizons

Michael’s hidden domain has always been the rollerskating rink - a home away from home. Jeremy isn’t so suited for the environment.Maybe he can fix that.

oh my god just READ THIS, I love this fic so much. I’d give it both my kidneys if I could. some really excellent jeremy-michael friendship with a bunch of good pining packed in, as well as some of the best comedy I’ve seen this month.

when i’m close to you (we blend into my favourite colour) by sulfuric / @playertwojer

statistically, most people don’t take more than five seconds to say something to their soulmate after realizing the universe has paired them together. brooke and chloe take approximately six years, but better late than never, right?

this is a pinkberry fic (with a hint of boyfs) that really hits it out of the park with the soulmate trope. poignant, sweet, and full of growing pains. it’s top quality pinkberry material that spans over their entire friendship. 

*also there are exactly four WIPs in the fandom that I actually read and I’d die for all of them (I’d highly rec EVERYTHING from the following writers)

no such mirrors by Kalopsia / @danisnotofire

Jeremy didn’t know of any other superhero that had to commute.

Sometimes he was alone when he got the text, and it was easy to slide open the window and sling on over to whatever disaster was striking the City That Could Never Catch a Break. Other times it was during things like his parent’s divorce hearings, in Hackensack, and he’d have to spend his bar mitzvah money on a cab ride to the bridge and change into his spandex in the bathroom of a Dunkin’ Donuts. Even at home, he’d have to spend fifteen minutes slinging webs across highways and toll booths and the George Washington Bridge before he even saw what he was up against.

At least Christine could fly.

(or, the AU nobody asked for in which Jeremy is Spiderman and the rest of the crew has superpowers, except Michael, who has No Idea About Anything except for the fact he’s Spiderman’s #1 fan)

am I repeating an author in this list?? of course I am. surely you’ve heard of this spiderman au fic. no? then you better read it. it doesn’t pull any punches, seriously, and I’ve never been happier to be beaten up by a fic.

Brightly Wound by left_uncovered / @left-uncovered

Michael has loved Jeremy for years. It just takes him a while to figure it out.

Or: the five times Michael pined obliviously for Jeremy, and the one time he realized it.

this is like, peak Pain material, which this author excels at, so I encourage you to read it, because it’ll teach you to enjoy the suffering. funnily enough, I’m pretty sure I followed this writer for their stellar porn, but I always rec the pain. just read all of it.

Like Mother, Like Son by hurricanesunny / @hurricanesunny

Jeremy gets a text from his mom after a year of no contact.

okay this fic is like, the best post-canon fic you’re gonna find in this fandom. I’m not kidding. it’s gut-wrenching and handles so much of the consequences of the musical’s events with such care, and god, it’s an exercise in riding an emotional turbo rollercoaster. if a fic could save a life, it’d be this one.

is this a forest? ‘cuz there sure is a lot of pine by reptilianraven / @actualbird

“How do you say ‘I love you’?”

“Oh, wow, holy shit,” Michael coughs. Is his face warm? It better fucking not be. Pull yourself together, Mell. Breathe. “Where’d this sudden romantic side of you come from?”

Jeremy, uncharacteristically calm, shrugs. “I figure it could be a nice icebreaker for Christine, or something? I don’t know. It’s stupid, you don’t have to tea—”

“Mahal kita,” Michael says. The things he does for this boy. This boy. “I love you in Tagalog is mahal kita.”

-

The misadventures of Michael Mell, pining best friend extraordinaire.

everybody who knows me will know that I stan bird so hard and would happily elope with any/all of their writing, so of fucking course I’m reccing this one. honestly, if you’re a bmc fan, this is the must-read fic, and honestly I doubt I need to rec this because everybody knows it already, but I couldn’t skip the opportunity to remind everybody that my bird bias is strong as ever, so.

okay, that’s it for now. happy reading!!

[sturlsons]

How do you do it? How do you stay so motivated and keep...going at life? Sometimes i get that motivation/urge to go out there and work towards my goals but it always disappears in a couple of days, sometimes maybe the same day

so my commute to uni takes like, 20 minutes right? add 10 minutes for me to walk to the tram station, and 5 to walk to class. 35 minutes from my door to my classroom door. 20 minutes, let’s say, to shower (i usually shower at night so in the morning i just like, throw warm water on myself and scrub my face) and get ready (i try to lay my outfit out the night before so that i don’t stand aimlessly in my towel trying to figure out what to wear and if my crush on my rhetoric professor is strong enough to warrant THAT sweater). 55 minutes, let’s say an hour to be safe. if i have class at eight, i can afford to get up at seven, and in emergencies i can get all of the above done in 40 minutes (throw on jeans and a sweater over whatever top i slept in and slather on some lipstick bc i can’t leave the house without lipstick).

which is, you know, a sweeter deal than a lot of people have. i have friends who need to take the train from strassy b’s surrounding towns to come to uni, i also have friends who go to the gym before coming to class. me, i live across the city from uni but i can still wake up just an hour before class. 

my alarm is set for an hour and a half before class though. now don’t get me wrong, i’m not one of those people who needs a million alarms set 4 minutes apart because i’m a chronic snoozer. a five-second ring of one alarm is enough for me to shoot up in bed movie protagonist style (or like, not do that if my octopus boyfriend is wrapped around me so that i don’t break his nose) and even roll out of it immediately given the situation (exams, parties in case it’s an afternoon nap, travel, appointments). 

however, it’s the other 80% of the time that’s the problem. i got class at eight, my alarm rings at six-thirty. from six-thirty to seven i’m lying in bed, trying to - no points for guessing - “motivate” myself. but guess what? i’m already motivated. i know in my head what i need to do to achieve what i want, and i have that burning desire to do it, i unironically watch this every week. i’m like, FUCK. LET’S DO IT. LET’S DO EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE. CLEAN THE HOUSE (negative: it’s always clean and i’m not only neat/clean in general, but also a stress cleaner, so when i’m stressed i get more stressed when i see that my apartment is already in top condition. so i grab a toothbrush and start microcleaning. welcome to my twisted mind and hard-water-stain-free taps) BUY A STATEMENT PIECE START LOOKING FOR INTERNSHIPS SOMEHOW FAST-FORWARD ALL MY FRIENDSHIPS UNTIL WE’RE IN STABLE JOBS AND STILL HANGING OUT TOGETHER IN BIGGER APARTMENTS WITH BETTER BOOZE LET’S WRITE THOSE FICS (lol) AND FINALLY CLEAR MY BACKLOG OF ARTICLES I’VE BEEN WANTING TO READ SINCE LITERALLY 2015 LET’S MEMORISE THE ENTIRE SEMESTER’S VOCAB IN ONE GO LET’S START WAKING UP AT 5 AM LIKE ROBIN SHARMA TOLD ME TO AND MAKE A SCHEDULE SO THAT I USE FACE MASKS REGULARLY AND SEE MY SKIN GLOW AND DRINK TWO LITERS OF WATER A DAY NEVER FORGET MY MEDS (lol) REDO MY BUDGET TO BUY HEALTHIER THINGS DONATE THE CLOTHES I PULLED OUT OF MY WARDROBE LAST WEEK TELL MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE HIM BUT WE’RE NOT GETTING A DOG BECAUSE I CAN’T STAND THE DOG SMELL, LET’S GET EDUCATED AND BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO KNOWS SOMETHING ABOUT EVERYTHING FROM EPIGENETICS TO ETHNOLINGUISTICS. LET’S DO IT ALL, RIGHT NOW.

then my six-thirty alarm rings. and i open my eyes, and i don’t need to ask myself questions from point zero. i don’t need to ask do i really want to do all that? because i know i do. what i have to ask myself every day is those things i want to do, which are worth the effort i have to make - do i have it in me to make that effort every day?

you can’t do everything all at once anon. it’s the most frustrating lesson i’ve had to learn. motivation makes you want to do everything all the time forever. it’s like my best friend in cali, who snorts a line of coke after a party so that he can clean the house. motivation is gonna make you jump out of bed and spend fifteen minutes making an Upbeat Playlist which can then play in the background while you do your dishes, clean your bathroom, organise your wardrobe - and then collapse on the floor. unfuckyourhabitat is one of my favourite blogs on the internet, and they have something very important to say about this. 

you can’t do everything all at once. if you want to clean the house you’ll have to evaluate what needs cleaning, then see if you have supplies, acquire them if you don’t, and make a plan if everything’s a mess. if you want to buy a statement piece you’ll have to go through your wardrobe and see what you need, go through your budget and see what you can afford, go through online catalogues and see what you like, then clear some time so you can go out and get it - or more time if you want to browse. looking for internships - don’t even get me started. fast-forwarding friendships? sometimes the temptation of jumping ten years into the future and seeing if i’m still friends with the people i love today, seeing if i’m still with the person i’m with today, reaching that part of life where everything has become habit and dinner is with wine and there’s a fireplace in the living room - it’s so strong that the thought of having to live through those years to get there is excruciating. what do you mean i’ll have to live ten years, day for day, and slowly, painstakingly get there? what do you mean friendships don’t calcify in one day and i can’t decide today that that one friend i love is now my confidante and official best friend and we’ll do everything together? what do you mean you have to do everything together to get to a point where doing everything together is a habit. are u fucking kidding me. 

i get it, right? all the things i listed up there - face masks, water, 5 AM, success, progress. they’re not one-liners on a to-do list. they’re concepts and they require something more than motivation.

you know, even rumi has something to say about this. first of all, i digress, but rumi has something to say about EVERYTHING and i really hate when people assume he’s some kind of over the top abstract vague philosopher. bro rumi was practical as fuck? he talked about sex and friendship and hangovers and life as we know it, so bizarrely immortal that it applies these centuries later.

rumi says: submit to a daily practice. your loyalty to that is a ring on the door. keep knocking, and the joy inside will eventually open a window and look out to see who’s there. 

rumi also says: this windy mountaintop trough is ours. it sustains and protects, and you do not arrive here by just straining your neck to look at the mountain. you must start out and continue on.

but here’s my favourite thing that rumi says: it doesn’t matter that you’ve broken your vow a thousand times. still come, and yet again, come.

those things up there - Upbeat Playlist Number 29, buy-a-blender-make-frozen-smoothie-packs-stop-going-to-mcdonald’s-so-much, my-boyfriend-said-i-can’t-stop-him-from-buying-me-flowers - require more than motivation. 

coming back to my six-thirty alarm. do i have it in me to make this effort every day? i want to do something with my life but this bed is warm, i’m tired, and it’s cold outside. it’s going to be a long, long, long day. do i have it in me to make this effort? i know i have the desire to make this effort, so why is it so difficult? why do i have to wake up half an hour in advance to negotiate with myself and coddle myself into actually getting out of bed and moving to meet my day?

motivation is 20% anon. the other 80% is sheer fucking discipline. say it out loud to yourself: D I S C I P L I N E. it’s not motivation that makes me live my life - sure, motivation starts the fire and i won’t lie, i have a lot of it, almost inexhaustible supply except for when it suddenly burns out on me without a warning.

which is why we need discipline. motivation can quit on you anytime - discipline won’t. motivation is i want to ace this english class, it’s easy as balls, i can do it. discipline is well, this english class i want to ace is at 8 AM and i’m not going to miss a single one. you don’t need to convince yourself of your life goals every morning - you just need to train yourself into fucking getting out of bed. submit to a daily practice, because you’re not going to achieve everything all at once. you’ll have to live every single day until you get there, and it’s a constant process, and when you have that process down pat, it’s the journey itself that’ll be rewarding. no need for instant gratification through sudden unexplained achievement of goals - your gratification is seeing your kilometer count stack up steadily, that odd “wow, you’re glowing these days!” from an aunt, the realisation that you chop salad so much faster now out of habit. wake up in the morning (feeling like p diddy) and take your fucking half-hour if you need it, but at the end of that half-hour, roll the fuck out of bed and give yourself finger guns in the bathroom mirror.

it’s not about motivation. i frankly don’t care if your motivation runs out in two days, or one day, or the fifteen minutes it took you to make your Upbeat Playlist Number 29. boo fucking hoo, anon. that’s how fickle motivation is. it ran out while you were looking for that one elvis song. so what’s going to make you clean your house anyway? not motivation, that’s for sure, motivation’s fuckin peaced out man. you don’t care about those dishes anymore, you’ll do them when you get back from uni (you won’t, you’ll order sushi and sit at your table). 

you know what isn’t fickle? discipline. it’s discipline that’s going to make you clean your house. it’s discipline that’s going to make you wake up at 5 AM even if you’ve kind of failed four days in a row. keep knocking. keep working. still come, and yet again, come. you haven’t failed if you started trying to wake up at 5 AM last month and you did it maybe four times. you fail the day you turn that alarm off and give up on the concept. 

motivation provides you with concepts - discipline provides you with the means to nurture those concepts. motivation is a high-resolution photograph of a beautiful oil painting. that’s all it is. discipline is the hour you put aside every day to sit at your easel and make it real.

today i want you to look for your willpower and gather your paintbrushes.

[theplaguezine]

PRIMAL FEAR

Interview with Ralf Scheepers by Daniel Hinds

(conducted May 2005)

When it comes to modern power metal with a classic touch, there is no one that can match Primal Fear.  This German outfit has taken the classic elements of Priest and Maiden and built a huge sound, a tight stage presence and five albums packed with headbanging stormers.  As the band was finishing up mixing of their sixth opus in Vancouver, BC with mix-master Mike Frazer, vocal giant Ralf Scheepers called in to bring us up to date on this metallic monster… First of all, how far along is the mixing process? We’re mixing fourteen days here actually.  Today we are mixing the last song and tomorrow we will finalize everything, just add little bits and pieces, then we fly home on Saturday. How did the mixing go overall? Wow, really good, Frazer’s a really good man, a big pro.  What’s very good is that he got into our stuff, he liked it from the very first tune, so it is really important that there is a guy who mixing it that also likes the stuff. What kind of differences have you seen with the way Mike works compared to previous mixers you've worked with? Everybody’s kind of got their own style so you can’t really say he’s better or worse – not worse at all. (laughs)  The thing is he’s got a totally different way and he’s working all day and then we come in and give our input and say what we would like to have, but only in terms of effects here and there.  The basics are up to him and he’s got his own style of working and it is working out very good for us. Have you had a chance to explore Vancouver very much while you've been there? Yes, we have.  Yesterday we were whale watching in Victoria and we saw a whale, that was pretty good.  Also an eagle and sea lions and so on and went home by seaplane, which was another adventure. (laughs)  It was a great day and also we like the city very much and we’ve been out to many clubs.  Randy is the local guy, he’s taking us around and is our roommate here. How about the recording with Charlie Bauerfeind? It was just great, he’s a pro as well.  And that’s what Fraze said too, that he recorded very good signals for us.  Charlie really pushes every musician and somehow can get you to give everything and that’s what we have on tape, actually on hard disk, right now.  The album is, for me, the best in my career.  Without saying too much now, I think it’s really fucking great.  Charlie is like I said a pro and a nice person as well.  I worked with Charlie with Gamma Ray in the 90s, but he was only mixing the album then.  Now we are recording with him and it’s just great. What made you decide on an outside person to produce this album? It’s not producing, Mat is still producing the whole thing, he has the final word about everything and that’s good because he has the experience, he know what we need and he knows what is going on.  Of course, we end up as a big team in the end, with Charlie and Fraze and the other band members, but in the end there has to be one person who decides and if there are so many people giving their inputs, somebody has to coordinate it. Obviously it is hard to describe how an album sounds, but you've dropped some hints that there will be some surprises on this one. I'll tell you one thing, there's a big variety right now.  Some people might say we got too mellow, but I don't think so because it is still very heavy with guitar riffs in there and the drumming has increased…  It is kind of hard to describe, but it has become more bombastic, more epic in some ways.  As you know, Primal Fear always looks out to have good melodies and to be rough and good for the headbangers out there.  You just have to listen to it. Can you tell me a bit about some of the lyrics on it? Yeah, it's again like all Primal Fear, there's some fantasy going on and also personal experiences, like on the other albums.  And a lot of things from the Bible this time.  If you read the Bible, you can really get out some good stuff without being too religious, but there's also a lot in the Bible about the devil as well. (laughs) Is it more difficult to come up with new song ideas after writing so many? It's true somehow; you really don't want to repeat yourself.  We worked on the lyrics until the end; we were still working on the lyrics when I was singing actually.  Here and there you have to change the lyrics so they fit better with the melodies and so you can sing them better.  But, as you said, it gets more and more like, 'Oh, I did that once, I don't want to repeat myself,' but in the end when you repeat yourself you think, what the fuck, there's so many bands that repeat themselves a thousand times and we complain when we repeat one thing, so there's no need about that. You have done some great cover tunes in the past - did you record any this time around? No no, not this time.  Actually, we did a song from a Sinner album, a song called "A Question of Honour" from the Judgment Day album.  Mat wanted me to sing that song because he sung it originally in Sinner of course and I did some backing vocals on this track for Sinner seven years ago.  Mat said, 'Well, the chorus sounded really good and I can imagine you singing the whole song,' so that's what we did now.  We weren't sure if it was going to be on [this album], but we just mixed it yesterday and the outcome was amazing, Fraze did a hell of a job on this song. I saw you guys play at the first Bloodstock back in 2001 and was blown away.  What are your memories of that festival and what made you decide to play what was kind of an untested event like that? Yeah England was a surprise for us and we did pretty well on tour when we played in London, so we thought, 'Let's do Derby and check out how all the Brits are.'  As always, we don't expect too much and in the end when we have success as we did at Bloodstock both times - we played there last year as well and it was outstanding.  The promoter had us as a headlining band for Friday and this is a good sign for us.  The critics and the press were pretty good, in Kerrang! we had I don't know how much 'K' but as much as you can get, so this was a pretty good appreciation for us, coming from England especially.  We didn't think there were so many younger fans coming out and listening to heavy metal again, so it was pretty amazing. The thing that impressed me the most was just how tight and energetic you guys were on stage.  Did your live chemistry come together pretty quickly, with all of your experience in previous bands? It was a learning process as well, as with everybody in every band, you have to grow together, and that's what we have done now.  We've done so many shows now, we don't rehearse that much, so it's a good evolution. Do you have tour plans lined up yet for this album? We are planning to go out in early 2006. I always get the impression that bands like Primal Fear are considerably more popular in the rest of the world than in the USA - is that actually true?  Where do you guys do the best in terms of concert attendance and CD sales? I think it is the best in the southern countries like south Europe and South America.  The reactions on the internet, on our web page, is outstanding from America as well and they always say, 'Come over and do a tour,' but it is pretty hard because it is just such a huge country.  If you start on the east side and stop on the west side, you can start on the east side again because it's going to take you 4 or 5 months. (laughs)  But the reactions are getting better and better and this is a good sign for us.  But yeah, I think the best is still South America and south Europe and of course Germany is going pretty good for us, our home country. It seems like Primal Fear has been going pretty non-stop since you started, with pretty regular album releases and tours.  Is it difficult to balance the workload with family life? Yeah, sometimes, but if you're addicted to it (laughs)...  You have your creative phases and your non-creative phases and when you have your creative phases, you do as much as you can.  I can say about Mat he is an outstanding guy and he writes songs like hell, working very quickly.  I just take the time where we are not so much on the road and I take this chance to write songs. Listening back to some of the earlier albums, I was struck by the song "Church of Blood" and just how relevant the lyrics have become in the years since you wrote it.  What is your take on the current state of the world and how organized religion has been used as an excuse for war? I think it has always been a theme of history that the church is also pretty much responsible for wars, that being the whole history of the church if you look back.  All the wars of the world in the past were a religious thing.  Nowadays it is pretty much more of the power-mad guys and oil and so on, I don't have to tell you anything about that, but in the past there have been a lot of wars only because of the church and religion and so on.  This is also a theme in "Church of Blood."  It was a time when the Iraq things were going on and also in Iran and so on, a lot of things going on, violence from the church. I read that you are quite interested in astronomy.  Is it a general interest in the subject or do you really keep up on everything, all the latest things that NASA is doing and whatnot? It's a general interest; I don't have the time to keep up on it.  Of course, I have a telescope at home but not a big one, but I'm very interested in that stuff and when I'm standing on my balcony at home and look out there at the clear sky and discovering all the time what's going on, it's an amazing thing for me.  What can I say, it's a big wonder what's going on, in the big world and in the small world. Last question - I know you're a big fan of Priest so I was just curious what your opinion of Angel of Retribution was? Well… it's mixed.  (laughs)  Of course, it's Judas Priest again with Halford.  Without saying a bad thing about Ripper, who did a hell of a job and was just an amazing follower of Rob Halford, but who can replace the original?  It's pretty hard.  You can be as good as you want, but the original is the original, even if the original is not as good as the other vocalist.  With Angel of Retribution, I'm not so happy about the sound.  I know Roy Z., we met him on the Halford tour, he's a nice person, a really nice guy, but the sound is just not what I imagine it could be for Judas Priest.  And the songs sometimes are… (pause)  You know, we were talking about repeating yourself in Primal Fear and I think it's in every band, you don't want to repeat yourself, but sometimes that pushes you to some strange directions.  I don't like every song on the album but, in the end, for me, it's a good album and I like to listen to it.

www.primalfear.de

[clockworkneurosis]

you could also do all the asks since youre making me do them smh

LET’S RUMBLE 

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?- in the car like thirty minutes ago. COLORS by FLOW

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?- if i’ll get my dream job or not 

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?- graduating college? going to graduate school? constantly crying over gay shit? i don’t rly feel “accomplished” for doing anything rly.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?- getting published in the undergraduate journals in university. i found that out today. 

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?- probably. i would go out and do stuff i’m way too scared to do 

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?- work for NASA/aeronautics industry. - be better at art lmao? - get my journals published 

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.- she’s little and has a lot of hair and she’s old and she’s sleepy and she’s a dog 

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?- absolutely not lmao

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?- two weeks ago? three weeks ago?

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.- my sister. she’s really encouraged me over the years to go for my dream of working in the aeronautics industry and she’s so supportive of it and to sit and gush about stars and astronomy to her would probably make her happy.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?- i never want to open up to anyone so no

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?- like IRL conversation? probably forever ago. through text probably Sid or my skype squad and all those people are 💞

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?- i’d probably tell my mom thank you for everything she’s done for me and to always take care of Precious. 

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?- no opinion 

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.- damn i don’t have one that’s coming to mind at the moment let me just skip to something i wrote in my notebook recently: “IT DOESN’TMATTER,YOU SEEWHAT YOU WANTTO SEE.” like idk i have a lot of issues with accepting truth sometimes and like idk i live in my own world 90% of the time idk what i’m saying 

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?- The Chronicles of Wasted Time

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?- pay off my student loans, secure a home for myself and buy a nice car, leave a large portion for my mom. go on vacations. 

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?- i used to be a total fucking pushover but honestly since going to college i’ve gotten so fuckin hateful lmao like i lost 90% of my friends and to this day i wouldn’t forgive any of them

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.- i don’t honestly remember a lot about 12 year old me. i’d probably say something like………… i know living with your brother is horrible and sometime you feel like you can’t take it anymore but just keep going bc he’s gonna leave one day and you’re gonna feel so much better. don’t leave Precious outside so much, even though you didn’t even really do it much to begin with. one day when you’re in your late teens and early 20s you’re going to hold her in your arms and count the gray hairs on her little face and kiss her all the time and realize she’s gotten old and you hadn’t even realized it. don’t be so hard on your mom. just because you’re sad and angry all the time doesn’t mean you should take it out on someone who loves you so much. also break out of your friend group because they aren’t going to be your friends forever. don’t put your eggs in one basket. 

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?- truly a pastel punk

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.- i like tattoos they’re fine. i don’t have any because i’m a wuss. piercings are great if they aren’t like hoo boy too crazy 

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?- nah i don’t wear makeup because i just don’t feel a desire to 

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.- Kei really means so much to me. i always told myself that if i ever got a tattoo it would be 圭 because he really got me through some tough stuff. 

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.- w/e

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.- BLOOD: this was just a for fun concert and i remember walking in and walking out lmao - Matenrou Opera: i remember feeling so fucking overwhelmed during that concert and it felt so surreal and crazy and when it ended i cried for like seven hours straight - HOME MADE 家族: hype af because it was such a feel-good experience - T.M.Revolution: FUN FUN FUN to be in a room with thousands upon thousands of people who were screaming and having fun and ugh it was great- ONE OK ROCK: i actually was really emotional during this concert. OOR means so much to me and they’ve helped me so much……. to be able to see them and be close to them honestly i felt like my chest was on fire the whole time.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?- i want letters from my old friends. i want them to be apologies to me. 

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?- well my desk at home is way different than my desk at school but since i’m off school right now…. here’s what’s on my desk rn: YETI cup, docking station, Black Butler cup, candle, Impractical Jokers coasters, tons of pens and pencils, box of letters, spongebob tissues, lighter, paint, tissues, stationery, medicine, Apple Watch, party popper??? lmao

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?- play FFXV, talk to Sid, watch TV, eat fruit, drink a lot of water, kiss mom and Precious goodnight, read fanfics, draw sometimes 

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?- how sad i am. i don’t want to bother my mom with that. 

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?- i need to dye it gray lol it’s blond rn

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?- well tbh i have no friends rn so 

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.- get my dream job // because i want it. i want to achieve this dream- get rly thin // i hate my body lol- i want my dog to live forever // watching her grow old is very very very hard on me. 

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.- uhhhh. me and a friend went as the old saying “fighting like cats and dogs.” she was the cat and i was the dog. we had fake blood and ripped clothes and fake teeth and i had a collar that says “daddy’s puppy” lmao my kink

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?- i haven’t done anything bad while drunk actually

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?- eat shit idk

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?- The World Seen in Dreams by DOES it’s my favorite song and it makes me feel so much 

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.- i don’t think i’ve ever been in love tbh. i feel more “in love” with things like video games and anime because i get so involved in them and…… idk…. i’m rly emotionally detached so lmao idk 

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?- nah i’m not into nail polish 

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?- i usually get chai tea latte or caramel macchiato (hot and iced)

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?- my education