#like did all these people attend the same seminar or something lol

[mauesartetc]

Fast-acting freelancer repellent: Mentioning "NFT" or "cash cow" anywhere in the project description.

[masterprocrastinatortm]

Yo!

I've been a regular follower for a while, and your uni looks beautiful and so modern (or post modern idk), and it just looks great.

But

How is the course, law I think?

How's uni life?

How's it all!

I wanna know cos imma be doing uni in 1.5yrs, and I just really am interested in it all

Thanks!!, FeS2

Hey! I am very happy to answer this!

This is a very long answer, so TLDR; University is different from school, I like student life, law is hard but you can do it if you want to.

I go to University in Aberdeen, Scotland (not sure where you're from but I know there are like three Aberdeens in the world...) and I really love it here. The University itself is a combination of really really old (Kings College was built in 1495) and really new (like the SDR library and some of the lecture halls and buildings).

I think any course in University or college will be very different from what school is like, just from my own experience. Especially if you go overseas (which is what I am doing). I think regardless it will be quite a big change. Personally, a good change - but it takes time to adjust.

When I came here I found it really difficult to acclimate to how the focus of learning here is very much memorization-based - remembering rules and names and dates, etc, whereas I was used to having a lot of open-book exams and application of rules that you could look up in the book.

My boyfriend is currently doing his first year of University, and he is finding it quite hard to get used to how to write in academia, compared to how it was in school or day-to-day as a standard working adult. There is a lot more referencing and you have to be quite critical of which sources you use - and it's a lot more stressful than what he thought beforehand.

this is why it's so important to choose something you are actually interested in, not just something that will give you a good job for the future - because going to University is like having a full-time job and a half, and a lot of people don't necessarily know/understand that

As for student life, I really liked my first few years. I was assigned 5 random flatmates for the first year, and it was a very eclectic bunch. I was very lucky and liked all of them, but they did not like everyone, and some of our neighbors really hated their flatmates. My best friend (and used to be library buddy) is actually one of those randos

We were a bit of a party flat the first few weeks, but after a few months together and some drama, we opted to go out instead so we didn't have to deal with the arguments that cleanup brought.

I think a lot has changed now though because of how society has adjusted to the panoramic. It hit while was on my year abroad - and honestly, it really affected my grades. I'm pretty sure most courses now have no in-person lectures, only online ones. And only some lucky courses have tutorials and seminars on campus (that you can also attend online). The same is true for socials. A lot of student societies (I could not recommend enough that you join some while in uni) have had to cut down on in-person events, or at least limit numbers, and has had a lot of online socials which personally I find almost more isolating than not joining any at all.

Law itself - would not recommend unless you hate yourself. But also, if you really want to do it, you are fully able to do it.

Our lecturers are like any other place, some good some bad. Aberdeen uni is very international so we have lectures from all over the world, and honestly, I still find them so interesting.

Studying is a lifestyle. It is very hard, but once you kind of crack the key for how to do things it does become easier. Since I'm in my last year and doing honours courses it's a lot of self-study, and very little anything together with lecturers or tutors, which personally I struggle with but is also fine if you set some good boundaries for yourself - and keep some good habits (I dont lol). This is where any friends you have from your course is good to have (i was lucky and made some friends in my first year who are still around this year)

[kaijugroupy]

my butch4butch short story (I plan to continue. Hope you all enjoy!)

Books and Lucky both identify as butch lesbians. They both go by he/him pronouns.

Just a little background about the characters, they attend the same university. They’re both juniors. Also lol I won’t claim to be a great story writer in any respect. I just like creating characters and settings and it’s all in good fun. 

Chapter 1: Something borrowed, something blue

The third floor of the library was always best for studying. Not that I did much of that, but I liked to pretend. The back corner closest to Children’s Fiction had been my old haunt since freshmen year. I’d coop between the shelves usually scarce of people and settle on the floor to draw or doze or whatever between classes. And I had planned to do just that, had the idea for an illustration right behind my eyes, which is why I didn’t sooner see that my spot had been stolen. 

He leaned back into the shelves like that was at all comfortable, legs open in a lax sprawl. He held a pen sideways in his mouth, shifting it forwards and back. I stood dumbly, watched the pen. He was — speaking to me and I was not listening.

“What?”, I blurted inelegantly, doing my very best impression of a shaken snow globe.

“Am I in your way?” He asked again, looking almost warm, almost laughing.

“Oh no! I’m uh”—usually smoother than this — “I’m usually alone up here. Is all.” I finished, shoving my hands into the depths of my pockets, sweaty palms flat to my thighs. He watched the motion, smiling. 

“I don’t suppose you mind sharing? First floor’s usually pretty quiet but Freshmen English are holding a writing seminar.”

“Ah”. I nodded. I suppose I could find somewhere new for the hour. The thought vaguely bothered me, but not because I’d have to give up my space. I buried that. My hand moved to the strap of my bag, steadying the weight of its contents as I moved to make my exit.

“You were here first.” I waved a hand as if relinquishing my claim. Better to leave than be asked to leave. He did look busy, a small mess of papers and highlighters scattered around him. It would be rude to uproot him. 

“Or we could share?” It didn’t come out in a rush but it was insistent. Or maybe I wanted it to be. I inwardly huffed, attempting to get a hold on myself. He was watching me, brown eyes steady and kind and hopeful? Or perhaps just patience. In either case it was my turn to speak.

“Okay.” I said slowly, willing myself to relax. I hadn’t shared this spot with anyone before. It wasn’t exactly large. He drew his legs into himself so I could pass. I dropped my bag, settling back against the opposing shelf. 

I willed my brain to continue functioning normally, and he turned back to the paper he’d previously been scanning before I’d interrupted. I retrieved my sketchbook from my bag, using this moment to look him over quietly. His skin was brown and smooth; matched his eyes. He was — sturdy looking, shoulders wide and hard, forearms scattered with dark hair. His hair was just longer than mine, as if he were growing out a buzz, or had let it go for a week. It would feel like static under my fingertips, I thought idly, and was immediately embarrassed at the notion. I looked down quickly, thumbing open the cover of my sketchbook, desperate to distract my mind. I’d been working on a concept for critique at the end of the week. My assigned drawing theme for the semester was mythological creatures. I was working on a gorgon. I turned through the pages, trying not to make much noise. I’d never been so conscious of my volume in relation to distraction, given that I was usually my only company. I chewed the inside of my cheek, having reached my sketch from earlier. I needed to touch up a few features before beginning line-work. I looked up to rustle through my bag to find a pencil and instead found him looking at me. I was graceless in that realization, blinking in slight surprise. He laughed, mouth quirking to the left. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be nosy. It just — looks good. Your drawing.” He looked amused, both with himself and with me. “What is it for, if you don’t mind my asking?” He looked to the drawing, eyeing the reptilian tendrils of her hair then eyeing me. Waiting.

“Class. Well, Advanced Illustration. We had to choose a theme.” I explained, and felt nearly breathless by the end of it. He nodded, understanding, looking impressed and thoughtful.

“And your theme is Gorgons…?” He asked, open ended. Curious. I wanted to keep him asking. 

“My theme is mythological creatures.” I confirmed, with a slight smile, nerves settling just the slightest bit. He was becoming oddly easy to talk to. 

“How cool. Even better that you get to pick.” 

“I’m not much good otherwise.” I commented idly, thoughtless though truthfully. I was famously unmotivated when I didn’t get to choose the motive.

“I doubt that.” He watched my face. I felt myself shaken a-loose; I felt warm.

“What about you?” I diverted the attention back towards him and away from my blushing face. I eyed the piled of papers, the scattered books. 

“Writing Class. We had to choose an author for the midterm paper to write about so…” He trailed off, snatching a book off the top of the pile to show me the cover. I was instantly familiar. It was Leslie Feinberg’s Stone Butch Blues. The recognition must have shown on my face because he smiled, large and familiar. 

“I suppose I’ve made a good choice, then. You’ve read it?” He thumbed the cover idly, hand nearly swamping the book. I was reading the title between the window of his fingers. 

“Quite a few times. There was a free download going around awhile ago. Tried to get a copy for myself a few times but it didn’t work out.” My mouth quirked, an almost smile. 

“Oh.” He said, as if realizing something. He reached across to me, hovering the book within my radius. “Have this one.” He smiled, crooked, showing me a dimple. 

“But”— But I was already reaching for it, the cover rough and tattered under my palm. I didn’t take it and he didn’t let it go.

“I have another.” He insisted, sounding distracted, looking into my face.

“Okay.” I agreed, still not letting it go. 

The buzzer on my phone sounded. Two o’ clock. I had Figure Drawing in ten minutes. 

I withdrew my arm, slow, watched his callous fingertips let it go.

“Thank you.” I smiled, holding it reverently. It was warm from his hands. Or maybe I imagined it was.

Another buzzer. Five minutes. 

“Fuck”. I breathed, eyebrows drawn together. I didn’t want to go. I gathered my things, leaving the book for last, tucking it careful into a separate pocket. 

I rose, shuffling, slinging the strap over my shoulder. He watched me, pen between his fingers.

“Thanks— again.” I smiled, nervous, dragging the cut of my nails over my buzz.

“It was my pleasure.” His smile twisted my insides.

I hesitated a moment longer, saying nothing, then pushed myself forward, watching his smile til’ I rounded the corner. 

I was late. 

[dreamingthroughbooks]

Pick your favorite 5 questions on the 4:02 am ask list to answer! 💜

Ahhh thanks for the ask!!

20. Do you want a grand adventure?

Of course I want a grand adventure. I read all these fantasy novels that whisk me away to another world. I want to be those characters, not just live vicariously through them. Plus, my life here is pretty mundane. I know I have a lot of opportunities where I am that others do not, but I do the same thing with the same schedule every week. It would be nice to enter a real life fairy tale, without the pressures of my family or what the people around me think I can or cannot do. I want to breathe magic and freedom, and learn a lesson of wisdom while I’m at it. However, I know that I will be killed if I really entered such a scenario due to me being frankly, quite dumb in real life. I would also miss my family and friends (if they can’t come with me) wayyyyyy too much.

38. Is your life what you expected it would be 5 years ago?

ha. Let’s make this six years instead (I’m a high school senior now, so five years ago was grade eight for me (which is the first year of high school where I'm from). If we make it six years I would be in my last year of elementary school. I was kind of popular back then. My class (and grade) only had 21 kids in it, and seventeen of those kids were the same from kindergarten. I wasn’t the prettiest child, but I was smart and quiet and not as mean as the other girls. There were only six other girls so it was a big fish small pond type situation. I thought that I would still be friends with all of them in high school and make even more friends. However I’m rather shy so freshman year was a big shock for me. I remember crying a month into high school because I had so much trouble making friends. I slowly made a few, and I thought that they would stick with me through all of high school but I was wrong then too. I’m not some loner loser now; believe me - I really do have friends. It’s just not the big friend group that I imagined. I know that the friends I do have now will stick with me until the end.

Other than friends... let’s just say I fall under the "formerly gifted kid trying to keep up” category. Not that I was “gifted” as a kid per se.I was just smarter than most. But now I barely know how to study and maintain a healthy sleep schedule. 

40. What makes a person ‘good’? Are you a ‘good person’?

A month or so ago I stumbled upon this quote from Roger Ebert’s essay “Go Gentle Into that Good Night”:

"Kindness" covers all of my political beliefs. No need to spell them out. I believe that if, at the end of it all, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try.

Regardless of religion, kindness applies to everyone. So that’s how I think makes a good person - how they treat others.

By no means am I a good person. I’m not going to sell myself as a saint to you guys. I’m not a murderer, but I’ve done things that have hurt other people. I’m still not as bad as others though. I’ll try to give the homeless any money/food that I have on me when I pass them by, or at least give them a smile if I have nothing. Who am I to compare though?

42. Is freewill an illusion?

This is a big question. As a Catholic attending a Catholic high school, we have to learn about this stuff, so I’m used to talking about it. My Religion & Philosophy teacher this year is really great. He doesn’t shove the faith down our throats like some others did. Instead, when talking about things as big as this, he’ll give us resources and videos of people debating both sides, and then have a seminar or debate about it with the class. It’s a very chill environment that he has created - we even do yoga every friday!

Personally, I think freewill exists and that it’s not an illusion. If you believe in an omnipotent and omniscient God that knows your path and every choice you make in life, you can argue that because they know, your path is already determined. However, even though that being may know what choices you are to make, you don’t know them until you have to make them yourself.

As well, there are people who believe in freewill. That’s their choice to. Yet for the people who do not believe in freewill, they had to make the choice to not believe in it (and perhaps make another choice to find proof as to why it doesn’t exist). Either way, you make a choice whether or not to believe in freewill, and that is a choice you had to make for yourself.

My last point is from Jordan Peterson’s in this video. We’ve all been in those positions where it seems like there are choices already made for us. Or where it seems like we have no choice. Like when a pianist messes up, they didn’t chose to do that. Or when you’re driving and there’s a car coming towards you, you may swerve out of the way without thinking about it.

You cannot change the past, and you cannot change the present. However, you can change the future. Peterson argues that the further you look into the future, the more you can change about it. The options you have are almost limitless. The closer you look to the present, the more strained your choices are.

For example, when a pianist is reading music and playing a long, they look ahead a few bars so that they’re ready for it when they come, but they may still mess up right at the very moment they are playing at. As well, when you are driving, you do not look right at the ground where your car is. You look ahead on the road to make decisions for when you get there. So your choices are more constrained the closer your are. Like if a light turned yellow before you were to cross an intersection, it is harder to slow down and you must press on the brakes harder. But if you were a block away and saw the light turn yellow, you have time to stop.

So yes, I believe that freewill does exist; it’s just that your choices become more constrained the closer into the present that you are looking at them.

I hope this rambling made sense lol.

 93. Do you draw anything from your dreams, or do you disregard them?

I have a pretty active imagination, so I dream almost every time I sleep. Usually I do not think anything of them, other than adventures I get to go on while I sleep. There are a handful of recurring dreams that I get, but I think that those are just some part of my childhood showing up again, as all the themes they have together can be traced back to something I did or saw as a kid. Other times though, I get prophetic dreams. Not the “the second coming” is here kind, but the type where a few months after I had the dream I’ll find myself in the exact same location/scenario, with the same people I had in that dream. My friends know me to shout “I had a dream about this!” randomly every few months. I don’t know if anyone else experiences, but if you do, please tell me about it, I’d love to hear any sort of wacky dream experiences you have!

Thanks so much @queen-of-ink-and-paper for this ask! I had so much fun doing it 💕

[troutpopulation]

It Becomes A Chain (Sigma x reader) pt.5

//I forgot I haven't posted this here yet lol

That has gone so much better than you could have ever hoped.

Dr. de Kuiper- er, Siebren, as he gave you permission to call him, was an excellent listener. You felt instant relief around him. It felt good speaking to someone like a person again. He seemed to have been nervous, as he was tense as all hell for most of the meeting but... Maybe you were over-analyzing but he seemed to have a complete change in stature the longer you two talked. When you had told him how much you appreciated how he never intentionally made people feel inferior for being less educated, he changed. He loosened up, seemed to be more in his head. Or out of it, you couldn't really tell. But he was more in the moment. And that's when you two began to really connect.

When you went into the lab for tests, you didn't feel like you were stepping into some scary, foreboding place. When you saw him in the halls you no longer cringed when your eyes met. In fact, a few times, you had greeted him.

------------------------

  There was something out of the ordinary about (y/n). Siebren had come to respect a certain type of person, and he didn't fit it in the slightest. He had no PHD, no discoveries under his belt, no algorithm named after him. But he couldn't help but marvel at his anyways. (Y/n) was articulate, even if he struggled to get the words out. He was wise, even if most of the jargon the professors threw around went through one ear and out the other. He was a different type of intelligence, on he had been deprived of. Emotional intelligence. Spiritual intelligence.

He might or might not have believed in or respected any significance in these concepts, but that was beginning to change with every conversation he had with (y/n). (Y/n) was a man who analyzed and rationalized his emotions, other people, and understood their innate value and the balances in the world.

These things, (Y/n) said one night as they walked to his car, are things the textbooks cannot teach you. Resolve and kindness got him as far as he is, he said.

That was such bullshit. An accident got him this far.

Siebren found his thoughts of (y/n) once again souring as he was brought up in a conversation with Mag. Siebren had stood up, walked across the room to retrieve a paper from the filing cabinet, and sat back down to see Mag staring wide eyed at him. "What's wrong?" He asked. "You're not wearing shoes." "Ah. Right, yes." Siebren chuckled sheepishly. "(Y/n) suggested making myself more comfortable to reduce stress and, well, shoes have never been the most comfortable to me." There was a calm silence as he signed papers and jotted down notes.

"So, you and Mr. (l/n) have been getting friendly, what's up with that?" Mag asked, finally setting down the astrophysicist's coffee. "It's nothing, just being polite to our guest." Siebren stared into his drink before tasting it. Guest was beginning to be an odd word to describe (y/n). The facility had put him through the application process for residency, and he'd flown home last week to get his affairs in order before he returned. For the next few years, (Y/n) lived here now. "Really?" "Mhm."

"That's good." Mag nodded. "There's a couple of girls in the bio-med department who have their eyes on him, I hear." Siebren paused, grimacing. "That's nice." He forced out. Mag read his silence with judgement in their eyes.

    Hearing him refer to Mr. (l/n) by first name made Mag cringe.

Mag liked Dr. de Kuiper. They enjoyed attending his seminars, and coming in to bring him coffee. They liked him a lot and saw him as a trusted figure in the department. In fact, they kind of relied on him to be. Mag would be so happy for the professor to find love, but with Mr. (l/n) of all people? A mutant? A test subject? Can you imagine what would happen if he were caught in some scandal? He could kiss his job goodbye, and Mag would lose a teacher, a friend, an advisor and... And a job. Mag wanted more than anything to be an astrophysicist. They wanted that more than they've ever wanted anything in their life. Dr. de Kuiper was their foot in the door.

He had always been a reliable, trustworthy foot in the door but he was threatening to screw it up for the both of them. And for what? To pine after a lab asset? Mag put their time and trust in Dr. de Kuiper. They couldn't help but feel a little betrayed at his behavior. If he thought Mr. (l/n) was attractive, that would have been fine, but he was asking him out! Driving him home! Did he not understand how bad of a look that was for him? For the facility? Did he not understand what that could cost them? A reputation. A reputation worth millions.

Mag felt a responsibility to protect that. Dr. de Kuiper might not like this now, but in the grand scheme of things he would thank them.

"I think he likes Lotte, I've seen them talking." Mag watched the professor's eyes widen for a fraction of a second. "I think they'd make a cute couple, what do you think?" "I... Yes." Dr. de Kuiper set down his drink, blinking fast. "I hear she's going out with him tonight." "I don't know why she would," Dr. de Kuiper replied bitterly. "The only thing interesting about that hick are the plants he makes."

Mag smiled.

  ------------------------

  You: did u already leave?

Siebren: yes

You: why?

Siebren: Aren't you busy right now?

You: uh no lol. are you?

Siebren: yes

You: oh! sorry. text me later maybe? missed our nightly convo

  Siebren glared at his phone. (Y/n) was playing him for a damn fool, as if he didn't know he was out somewhere with some ditzy fucking physician. He paced around his living room. He'd been talking to (Y/n) for weeks. Not once had he even mentioned Lotte, he didn't even know they knew each other! But now they were dating? ...And he didn't tell him?

Siebren knew he had no authority whatsoever over (y/n)'s life. They had no label. He didn't even know if he had the same feeling's towards him but they were friends, weren't they? Why wouldn't he tell him as a friend, and save his heart the trouble? Why did he have to hear it from his intern? He wasn't angry. He felt like he should be, but he wasn't. (Y/n) didn't lie to him. (Y/n) hadn't led him on. It wasn't (y/n)'s fault for living his life, and he couldn't for a second blame Lotte for becoming infatuated with him. After all, he had. Siebren had once again got himself into this situation. He once again overthought and let a fantasy version of him take precedence over reality.

He didn't text him later.

  ------------------------

    Siebren didn't greet you the next day. He didn't even look at you for more than a moment, but you were sure he saw you. You couldn't find him later, and he didn't text you afterwards. You'd had enough of the dodging. After they had gotten you to test your powers in soil harvested by drones from various planets, they gave you free range. Without hesitation, you made a bee line for Siebren's study, nearly bumping into an intern carrying coffee as you ducked past them.

You knocked on the door, and a monotone "come in" echoed from somewhere behind the door. You stepped in, closing it behind you. "Hi." You said gently, walking over to him. He glanced aloofly. "Hello, Mr. (l/n)." He replied. "Okay, what's wrong?" You frowned, leaning a hip on his desk. He glared. "Nothing. Can I help you?"

"Yeah, actually." You bent down, folding your arms over the edge of his table. "First off we haven't spoken in days, you've been avoiding me, and now you just called me 'Mr. (l/n)'. What's wrong?" "Nothing. Nothing is wrong. I'm busy, you should get back to your testing." He snapped. "You're in my space." "I'm sorry." You stood up and sighed. "Sorry. Yeah. I get it. Sorry I just- Just thought I did something to upset you." It was so achingly obvious that you had, but what? You began to walk away, slowly. Very, very slowly. "Can I ask you a question?" He blurted out. You turned around without hesitation and nodded, returning to his side, He turned to face you.

"Are you... and Lotte..." He couldn't seem to get the words out, but you could. "Who?" You asked, bemused. Whoever this Lotte person was, they seemed to be upsetting him. You don't know what you said wrong- or right, but Siebren had completely changed his demeanor. "You don't know Lotte? Lotte Bakker?" "Should I? That doesn't ring a bell.... wait is that my doctor?" The confusion was genuine, and only grew as Siebren leaned back in his chair, laughing in relief. "No, seriously, Siebren who is that?"

"Nobody, I got my... wires crossed, as you say." He shook his head, chuckling. "Sorry, (y/n)." "Ohhhkay," You smirked. "Weird but okay. I'm glad we worked this out." "I am too."

  ---------------------

  Mag quickly, and as discreetly as possible shut the door and lunged away from it as it opened, and inconspicuously passed Mr. (l/n) as he exited and they entered. "Coffee's here, professor." Mag tried to act oblivious, but knowing exactly why the scientist was smiling was grating their nerves. "What's got you so happy?" They asked casually. "Oh nothing," He chuckled. "Just realized something." "And what might that be, professor?" "I take rumors far too seriously."

Mag's heart sank.

Dr. de Kuiper had never once doubted their word.

[goodwriterwithbadhabits]

SVT as Mutants and Mutates Pt 2

Please read part one first! It’ll make more sense!

Masterlist

Boo Seungkwan- Code Name: Apollo

Ability(ies): Healing; Healing oneself and others faster than naturally possible, and often through supernatural means

Status: Mutant

Development

He didn't fully develop his abilities until his early teens.

He had always been interested in medical stuff so he pursued it into high school

It started with small things

That he knew of, at least

Paper cuts that healed in a few minutes

A twisted ankle that healed in 4 hours

So he asked his parents about it and they told him the truth

When he was a kid he used to kiss their “boo-boos” and they would actually heal

His father had even once broken his leg but it healed faster whenever Seungkwan drew on the cast

He took the news pretty well, seeing as he had a less obvious power

Training

He started attending medical seminars while in high school

And collected tons of books on the subject

When word slowly spread that he was a great healer, mutants started flocking to his house

So his parents refurbished a shed out back as his office

It was a win-win,

The Boo's got money, Seungkwan got to train

Then one day, Cheol walks into his office(shed)

He's a little beat up and worse for wear

But Seungkwan patches him up no problem,

Then Cheol asks him to join them at Pledis,

To which Seungkwan politely declined

But when he was 17 Jun crashed onto his lawn and he didn't have a choice but bring the guy home

And he really liked it there

So he stayed

They hooked him up with the medical wing, which was sweet

In house doctor, without having to pay

Nice

Current

Boo as he's known, sometimes Apollo, mostly stays in the medical wing, his room (which is next to the medical wing) or Vernon's room

Jeonghan, Minghao, and Vernon are the people most often in his care

Because they're stupid and overexert themselves

He loves them he does, but damn they dumb

He's not remotely a field agent

Fuck that shit

He's part of SVT but he's the support squad

Also, he's got the voice of an angel?

Like if he's just patching somebody up, or cleaning up, he's singing

Which is part of the reason Vernon likes him

They're the perfect duo

The only people who don't know that Seungkwan and Vernon are in love are Seungkwan and Vernon

~~

Kwon Soonyoung- Code Name: Bullet

Ability(ies): Superspeed; Movement faster than otherwise humanly possible.

Status: Mutate

Experiments

He was 7 when they took him

His powers developed almost as soon as he arrived.

They had him running laps to cull his insane amount of energy

Then suddenly he was a blur

He hates how early his ability developed

It meant he spent the rest of his time in captivity running tests

Literally

They had him hooked up to a treadmill most days monitoring his top speeds till he collapses

Then they throw him in a small cell with a bunch of food until they decide to pull him for more tests

When they weren't watching he was seeing if he could vibrate through the wall

Or shatter the glass

or literally, anything to get out of this fucking hell hole

But to no avail

There was this kid in the cell next to him

Its someone named Jihoon

He arrived later and Hoshi feels horrible for him

He wasn't sure why but when he was 15 Jihoon just disappeared

It really pissed him off

And he shattered the glass viewing window at the front of his cell

So he was moved to complete isolation

Just a dark room with steel walls

And just barely audible over the screams from some of the more insane captives, he could hear music

And he danced to it

It kept him sane and fit

then the music stopped

It pissed him off again but he couldn't do anything.

So it became emptiness

And he gave up

Rescue

When Cheol and Jun arrived to get Hoshi they found an empty facility

Jun searched the place but they didn't find anyone

Then Cheol found a lone security camera pointed at a cell with only one inmate

He barely responded when the boys went in to get him

He was just sitting with his arms resting on his legs, covering his face

When Cheol squatted in front of him and touched his arm to see if he was alive

He bolted to the other corner of the room

Wide-eyed, he gaped at the other boys

Then he apologized

When he got back to the manor he just kinda quietly followed Cheol around

Then he found Jun dancing in one of the rec room and joined him

Current

If he's not dancing, check Woozi's room

He's probably annoying him

He and some of the other dancers put on little performances for the squad and the kids

He also teaches the kids how to dance

When he's needed on SVT missions it makes him super happy

He hates being alone

It scared him

But you can't really tell since he's mostly a bouncy ball of sunshine

~~

Lee Seokmin- Code Name: Angel

Ability(ies): Clairvoyance; seeing things or events in the future or beyond sensory contact, Empathy; feeling and at times, altering, other people's emotions.

Status: Mutant

Development

He didn't realize he had abilities as a kid

The Clairvoyance, never really happened until he was older

Mostly it was just empathy

If his parents were upset, he was too

If his teacher was having a good day, so was he

It was really weird being in school

All these emotions bombarding him

So he set out to be happy,

All

The

Time

At first, he didn't realize he was causing people's emotions to change

He thought he was just a cool guy

But then his mother was sick and feeling awful

She wouldn't let him into her room, so he didn't get sick

So he just sat outside her room

Being upset and willing his mom to be happy again

And she was

Training (Kinda)

He started testing his abilities on people at school

He focused on positive emotions though

The girl whose mom was in the hospital was suddenly smiling for the rest of the day

His clairvoyance appeared in high school

He was taking a test when suddenly he could see the answers

He didn't understand, figuring it just to be his brain's panic response to the unknown

But then a few days later, he saw his friend getting hit by a car

Something told him this was going to happen the next day

And it almost did

But Seokmin stopped him from going into the street

He waited to do something about his powers until he graduated

Then he waited a little longer

Because shit's scary

So he called Pledis when he was 19

When he got there

Literally, the moment he stepped in the doors

While Cheol was asking him about his abilities

He had a vision

It was about Dino

And then he passed out

Cheol was really sick of catching seers

Current

He rooms with Jeonghan and whoever recently came in.

He's technically part of SVT but doesn't tag along unless absolutely needed,

He prefers to stay behind and be emotional support (lol)

He's often awake with Jeonghan and whoever has had a nightmare but he doesn't go out with them

He just sends calming waves over to them

Honestly, I want a DK

~~

Lee Chan- Code Name: Blink

Ability(ies): Teleportation; instantaneous travel from one location to another

Status: Mutate

Experiments

He was 4 when he was taken

They put him under every test they could think of

But nothing was happening

So they tossed him in solitary confinement

He was 9

A few weeks later they shoved someone in the cell next to him

The guy would just play music all the time

And he wondered how but stopped questioning it

He was 12 when he finally saw another person

He and the person in the cell next to him, a pale dude who was drugged after being taken out were being moved.

Chan was handcuffed and thrown into the back of a truck with the drugged guy

They drove for a while

Eventually, the drugged guy woke up, groggy as shit and told him ominously

“If I die, don't tell my family.”

To which Dino stared at him in horror

This guy was like a year older than him, max

“What's your name?” Was all Chan could respond with

The car stopped moving the second after.

“Vernon”

Then the doors were opened and Vernon was grabbed and pulled out

Chan figured he'd never see the guy again

In the new facility, they tossed him back in solitary

Where he stayed until he was 17

Rescue (kinda)

When he was 17 he was dragged out of his cell

And pulled through the facility

To more testing or death, he wasn't sure

but he freaked.

As they dragged him by a security guard complaining about some hideaway for mutants

He saw a picture of the Pledis Manor

And closed his eyes, picturing it

Then suddenly he was laying on his back

He could smell flowers and feel a soft wind.

When he opened his eyes he was looking up at a blue sky,

It was sunny which made his eyes hurt

He sat up and looked around, finding a huge manor nearby

At first, he thought he was hallucinating while dying

But then a taller man in a white shirt came to him with a smile

“I was wondering when you'd get here”

Jeonghan brought him inside and made him hot chocolate

The pair were talking about the other people in the facility

Like Vernon, when Hoshi walked down

He mentioned the music he would hear and Hoshi perked

It brought them closer together, knowing they were from the same place

But Hoshi just wanted to know about Jihoon

Chan wanted to know about Vernon

Neither had answers

But Chan chose to stay instead of going hunting

He wanted to learn what had happened

How he had gotten there

Luckily someone else knew how to teleport and helped him

Current

He's irreplaceable as the youngest member of SVT

Also, none of them can teleport

He also learned how to teleport other people as well

He's pretty fucking cool

Like Hoshi, he has nightmares about being in isolation

But Chan also likes being alone a lot

But withing hearing distance of other people

So he hangs out on the roof with Shua a lot

But when Vernon arrived, he nearly shit himself with happiness

So they stick close sometimes

Like when Vernon wants to be alone,

He likes being alone with Chan

They both do

He's unsure why Jeonghan loves him like a son

He's only a few years younger than the guy

But overall he does love his hyungs, even Jihoon

~~

Xu Minghao- Code Name: Thanatos

Ability(ies): Necromancy; reviving the dead to semi-cognitive forms, Immortality; incapable of dying.

Status: Mutant

Development

He's kinda had this ability since he was 7

But he never told anyone but his mom who kept him hidden

It all started with a dead bird in his front yard

He picked it up and got sad that it was dead

But then it wasn't anymore

And it flew away

And Hao looked at his horrified Mom with blood flowing out of his nose

What a horrifying sight

Training

He trained himself

In a lot of things

Biology, Anatomy, Martial Arts, Poetry

He just hid and studied

He started bringing back things, just to see if he could

And to improve his strength

Now he wasn't just killing small animals

That would make him a sociopath

But he would go into the forests for days at a time and find dead and decaying animals and bring them back

Its kinda scary

He's never brought back a human though

Oddly enough, he happened upon Pledis

He was just in the woods, hiking and looking for dead things when he saw the building

At first, he thought it was just an abandoned building

When he got closer, he saw someone come outside

And they were waving to him

He wasn't sure why, but he went over to them

It was Dk, grinning like the sun

He was surprisingly chipper, but it made Hao feel better?

So he said “fuck it”

Called his mom

Told her he wouldn't be coming back any time soon

And stayed with Pledis

Current

He didn't abandon his mom

He still goes to see her a lot

Usually with Jun

His mom likes Jun because he is also Chinese

He's part of the SVT but mostly is just there because martial arts

He's a scary boy

And he can’t die

He's never brought a human back

And he's kinda scared to

But he's always training to just in case

He likes dancing with Hoshi, Jun, and Dino

Its a good way to get over the fact he literally has the power over life and death

Which everyone seems to forget a lot

But they watched him bring a bear back to life and control it

So now everyone's kinda scared of the tiny Chinese boy

Also, he always wears bucket hats on missions

No one knows why

~~

Chwe Hansol-  Code Name: Soundcloud

Ability(ies): Electrokinesis; generate and control electrical fields

Status: Mutate

Experiments

He was 6 when he was grabbed

His parents had done a decent job of hiding him

But even moving from New York to Korea didn't help

He didn't understand what was going on for a long time

At first, he was kept in the standard-issue cell

Three walls of brick and one of glass

Until he was 10

Then his abilities surfaced

It was storming outside and Vernon was staring out the little window when lightning struck the ground right next to his head

But nothing happened to him

He just turned to the doctors that ran in to see if he was still alive

But when they pulled him for testing the first nurse to touch him got zapped across the room

Every time they actually got him out of his cell he would touch the walls of the compound and turn off the lights

So they tossed him in Solitary

You know, throw the guy with electrical powers into a metal box

Good job.

He learned that he could create music by tapping his fingers on the wall

The electric sounds served as a background to his bad beatboxing and semi-bad rapping.

Then a few years later they pulled him out of the cell and knock him out

He barely remembers waking up to spook Chan

Rescue

He doesn't remember much

He had gotten shoved into another solitary cell

This time with no neighbors

He still just made music

And thought about his parents

Then when he was 19, roughly 5 years later he heard something different than just the normal sounds of the facility

Some loud thumps

So he called out to the guard in the corner and was answered with the viewing hole being covered

So Vernon did the only thing he could think of

He summoned a huge electrical field

and blasted the door off its hinges

nearly squished a Jun

And then promptly passed out

When he woke up he was on a bed in the medical wing

Literally second later Chan burst into the room and hugged him

Which made Boo shout at him

Vernon is almost certain he fell in love with Boo at that moment

Current

If he's not with Shua or Boo, he's probably alone in a corner

He's constantly trying to find his parents

Even if everyone thinks he should stop, he won't

And Cheol doesn't want him to give up on them either

Turns out he's really good with computers

But don't let him fly the plane

Someone nicknamed him storm once and he zapped them

Then educate them on the fact he could only manipulate electrical fields

He's a member of SVT, and arguably the deadliest

Others think its Shua or Gyu

but Boo told him he was the strongest so no one can take that from him

~~

Lee Jihoon- Code Name: Phantom

Ability(ies): Invisibility; Cause oneself and specific objects to no longer been seen by the human eye.

Status: Mutate

Experiment

He was taken when he was 10

His parents were scientists and knew about the gene

So they kept him hidden as long as they could

But he was eventually found

Since he was older they were ruthless in their experiments

In the cell next to him was this guy, mostly known as Hoshi

But they didn't talk much

He always just wished he was invisible,

One day he was

He was 15, and had bolted from the hold of one of the nurses

They chased him down the hall

but when he turned the corner he vanished

He seemed to realize they stopped chasing him after a few moments

When he paused to see why he caught his reflection in one of the steel doors

Or his lack of a reflection I should say.

This shocked him into being visible again

And got him captured again

They actually taught him how to control it

And trained him to be a spy

He hated it

But his other option was death so

Hey, useful skills for his next escape attempt

Which brings us to

Rescue

His escape attempt was the same day Cheol and the others showed up

This time they brought DK

Jeonghan had told them what Woozi could do

He managed to get out of the wing he was trapped in and all the way to the lobby before DK noticed him

Scared the shit out of Seungcheol when he just kinda popped into existence

Didn't want to go with them but figured it was better than staying there.

Current

He was only rescued a few months ago

But he's a very important member of SVT

Not only can he go invisible, but he's also scary

but also adorable cuz he's like 2 feet tall

He found Shua's guitar in the greenhouse and played it

Which made Shua super happy

But Shua scared the piss outta Jihoon by just popping out of a tree

So he stays indoors now.

Cheol and Jeonghan are pretty much the only 2 he puts up with

Everyone else is only healthy in small doses

I hope you guys liked this! Don't forget to request any scenarios, headcanons, or reactions your heart desires and I’ll do my best

[the-evil-twin]

Headcanon Doug Aesthetic: His Diagnosis / College Years Trauma 

Okay, this headcanoned post is centered solely around him coming down with his disease, namely: paranoid schizophrenia. In the second image is after it went from only one voice, to an entire crowd of voices in his head, questioning things and screaming and warning him about things -- all day, as he’s trying to study and attend classes and seminars as a normal functioning student; and all night long, when he is trying to sleep. 

In the fourth image, he is absolutely terrified with paranoia that he keeps calling her at 3am because his delusions keep telling him that an intruder is entering her room -- and she has no idea why this keeps happening; and so he finally has to tell confess his disease, to her absolute horror, resulting in the immediate end of their relationship. 

In the fifth image, he is desperately trying to will away his illness as much as he possibly can; but it is simply not working. He finally sees a psychiatrist, which results in the first of many of hospitalizations, and in the sixth image, we see that he has gotten his first antipsychotic prescription.  In the seventh image, we see that he has begun to form a nicotine dependency through cigarettes because of how the nicotine actually affects the dopamine levels, which can relieve symptoms of schizophrenia (you can read about it in detail here) -- and it’s actually why he avoids marijuana, because it actually has the direct opposite effect on him, and actually makes his schizophrenia and paranoia worse. I also headcanon that this was only for a few years, while he was still inconsistent with his medication because he disliked at first how numb it made him feel, and how it resulted in sexual dysfunction -- but later on, he decided that he didn’t much care for those things anymore at all, and that they were small prices to pay for his clarity of mind; and by the time he entered the corporate world, he had quit smoking, and had taken his medication seriously. (The more I research what real schizophrenic people have to go through, I come across thing of this nature, and so I do my best to make him seem like a real person going through this disease; and also, I wrote about all of this is another aesthetic post, so I apologize for the redundancy, lol)  The eighth image is a reference to something I mentioned in my story; that when he had a psychotic break on campus, word about his illness spread rapidly and he became the target of both verbal and physical assault.  By the ninth image, he is learning that best safety, for him, is in being alone; which quickly leads to learning to be self-reliant -- and is essentially doing the same by the tenth image. 

FULL DISCLAIMER: None of these photos are mine. I am providing full credit to all of the photographers; but if you see your photo here and you would like it taken down regardless, then please message me and I will remove your image for you. That all being said – below are all of the photo sources:  Image 1: Click here (via GifMage)   Image 2: Click here (via Gifer) -- EPILEPSY/SEIZURE WARNING  Image 3: Click here  (via Giphy)  Image 4: Click here (via Gfycat)   Image 5: Click here (via Favim)   Image 6: Click here (via Synthetic Picturehaus) -- These are the people that did the Lab Ratt, Shadows, and A Triumph of Science film shorts! -- in addition to a cute few others with Susan Tiemann -- but oh man, I love them so much for all of their Portal fandom contributions (most of all for their Doug-centric ones, because very obviously, I’m very in love him) :D ♥  Image 7: Click here (via Giphy)  Image 8: Click here (via Pinterest / Teen Wolf)  Image 9: Click here (via Rebloggy / Perks of Being A Wallflower)  Image 10: Click here (via Rebloggy / The Art of Getting By)

[magpiefngrl]

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Thanks for the ask! 

What people want to do with their writing differs. Some write for fun, to have a laugh with the rest of the fandom/community; it’s a hobby. Some are trying to see if they’ve got what it takes to become professional writers; some just like the ship and have no interest beyond that. They’re all valid reasons to write. My advice is to the kind of fledgling author I used to be, the one who wanted to be a professional and wanted their writing to be decent, and it’s this:

Read a lot

Write a lot

Step out of your comfort zone

Attend workshops/read writing guides/be open to critique 

[discussion under the cut ‘cause it’s looooooong]

1. Read a lot

It goes without saying; reading is what feeds a writer. I did a travel writing workshop once and the editor told us that he could always tell from someone’s writing what they’d been reading. What one reads the most comes through in one’s writing whether they intend it or not. This “or not” is why I’ve been vigilant ever since to avoid reading anything that I don’t want to be influenced by: gossip mags, for instance, or run-of-the-mill urban fantasy.

As for fic writers, I’d suggest reading the best examples of writing in your fandom. Read them often and try to see what it is about them that you love and you’d like to emulate: is it the banter? The prose? The UST and emotions? The plot? How did the author do it? Tip #4 below helps with that.

I’d also strongly advise resisting the temptation to read only fic. Like the editor above, now I can usually tell if an author has been consuming only fanfic, because the sentences sound familiar. Fanfic can be restrictive when it’s the only thing you consume. People like to rail against published books on tumblr, but as someone who actually wants to be published one day, that attitude irritates me. It’s also false. There’s a ton of marvellous stuff out there, books from people from all over the world, books with great prose or great plot, books from marginalised authors, classics that are classics for a reason, new authors doing incredible stuff. 

tl;dr: read the best writing you can get your hands on (incl. published books) as often as you can

2. Write a lot

This also goes without saying. Writing is a skill; the more you practice, the better you become at it. Fic is amazing for it! You practice writing plot, dialogue, characterisation, description. You might insert on original character or two.

At the beginning, a new writer’s output might not be as amazing as what they’d like it to be, but recognising that it’s not there yet is actually a huge step in improving. So write loads, and don’t be afraid to write things no one will see. Set a word count target (you could join a community such as @gywo​) and try to reach that target. It could be 300 words a day or 2k words every weekend or a total of 12k a month, whatever works for you. Make writing a habit. Ask people here to prompt you, write off-the-cuff. Some of it won’t be great – to you. But there’ll always be a reader who loves the quick drabble you wrote. And even if the post goes unnoticed, move on. Write the next drabble/fic, and then the next. Just keep writing and keep making it the best you can.

tl;dr: write your arse off

3. Step out of your comfort zone

This tip isn’t one you usually see in these kinds of lists, but to me it’s an important one. What I mean is that complacency can be a writer’s biggest enemy. Say you’ve reached a decent writing level, you’ve got some readers, you’re having fun writing your fics. They’re becoming popular so you think you’re doing something right and write some more in the same vein. This is all good, but it might also lead to stagnation.

Stepping out of your comfort zone shakes things up. This advice relates to the other tips. First, read something that you normally avoid, esp. if people are saying it’s a fantastic piece of writing. My thinking is that if X fic has rave reviews but happens to be mpreg (which I loathe), the benefits of being exposed to the great writing outweigh the mpreg–and I can always skim through that part. Do consider your triggers if you have any and look after yourself, but also don’t confuse them with dislikes. 

Reading outside your genre is a great way to shake things up: if you’re into Eighth-Year drarry, read them as fifty-year-olds. If you only read Auror case fics, read a smoking-hot PWP or an achingly-cute domestic drarry. If the books you buy are all adult sci-fi, try this contemporary YA everyone’s been raving about. Read poetry, if you don’t! Even if you don’t get it. Just read it, consider the word choices and put it aside. You don’t have to read outside your comfort zone all the time, but try to do it with some regularity and make sure you choose great quality works. 

Same with writing: if you write in one genre, try writing a story in another. Maybe you’ll fuck it up. No one needs to see it. At least you’ve tried. This is where workshops or writing exercises come in handy. Recently I took part in one where some drarry authors wrote a paragraph with sentences up to seven words, and another that was only one sentence. Imagine writing a 200-word sentence! You’ll probably never use it in your life, but it’s such a great way to practise sentence structure and see the effect it has on tone and pacing. Prompts can help as well: some of the AU prompts I received were things I longed to write, but others were harder. Some I fucked up. But I wrote a flower shop fic for a friend, which is something I’d never in my life write willingly lol, and it turned out wonderful and it’s actually become very popular. I’m currently writing a historical AU, which is def outside my comfort zone, and it’s taking me ages, but it also forces me to examine it from all angles to find how to make it work for me, and that means I get to learn a bit more about writer-me. 

Writing outside your comfort zone is also about writing things that might make you emotional. Natalie Goldberg’s writing book (mentioned above) was one of the first I read and it’s influenced me a great deal: she says that when you feel choked up or upset or emotional while writing a scene, keep writing. You’ve tapped into a vein. Digging deep in a character’s psyche might make you uncomfortable, sure; it means digging deep inside yourself and some dark parts of you that you might not necessarily like. Keep going. For me, that’s what pushes someone’s writing from good to amazing. It’s why some fics stand out, get recced loads and are lauded, even if they don’t have a huge amount of kudos.

tl;dr: read books outside your genre, do writing exercises and write things that make you emotional 

4. Attend workshops/read writing guides/be open to critique

Let me repeat that this is advice for people who want their writing to be better and who possibly want to go pro. If you’re writing as a hobby, you needn’t pay attention to this. For the rest: learning the technical aspects of the craft can make a huge difference in your writing.

At first, you might enjoy a fic and not know why. Workshops and writing guides can help you identify what it is you liked. You’ll be able to examine a novel with a different eye when you’re familiar with the 3-act structure rather than go “wow, the pacing was amazing, I couldn’t put this down, but I don’t know why”.

There are dozens of writing guides out there. After reading more than thirty, I can confirm they get repetitive after a while. But read a couple of them, at the very least. Check if your library has: Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg, Steering the Craft by Ursula Le Guin (though I wouldn’t rec this one if you’re completely new), On Writing by King, Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott (which is also really funny). 

Attending a workshop/accepting critique is the hardest to arrange. It requires other people, you can’t read it or borrow it from your library. Now, I’ve heard from people who attended creative writing seminars that they were in class with a bunch of idiots who had strong opinions as to what’s literature and what’s not. If that’s something you’d rather not face, then there are creative writing MOOCs around where people are kinder and more supportive. I’ve taken several and am a huge advocate of them. You can audit a MOOC (watch the video with the lecture, do the reading, skip the assignment) but participating will help the most. You might get 1-2 or even 15 people commenting on your work, telling you what worked and what didn’t. Some common elements will arise: perhaps everyone liked the dialogue, but many felt the description was lacking. It’s not a pleasant feeling, but you’ll have a clearer idea of what works and what doesn’t. Examining each piece of critique and seeing if you agree or not with it is a big step in improving.

Having your work betaed is of course the number one thing you can do to improve, and having a good beta is invaluable–and not always easy to find. Try to find a good beta. Finally, If you’re in a fandom community, see if you can arrange a workshop thing with your friends. Just make sure that you’re all on board with critiquing each other’s writing with kindness, but also not just squeeing. Squeeing can take place with critiquing, it’s not mutually exclusive. 

tl;dr: learn the technical aspects of the craft and learn to accept critique

Thanks for the ask! I hope you don’t mind such a detailed answer :))

[hwajin]

Preettyyy sure you're thinking of the right person🐈

Anyways I'm gonna give you more of lifestory dump now because things have changed and idk it's time to update you👀

First of all, I passed last year. Not with the best grades, but I passed. Meaning I'm in eleventh grade finally and I MUCH prefer it over whatever that was the last few years.

Getting to choose what subjects you wanns focus on and what subjects yoy just wanna dump in the trash (bye bye latin) is a great concept

My focus is on English, German and chemistry :)

I'm a lot more open and, not like the last few years, I don't try to not be seen or not exist anymore. In fact, I try to give myself a presence and just exist in other people's minds. I often casually talk with people I've never spoken to before and it's not weird or forced. I also made some new... friends? Probably wouldn't go that far yet but we're getting there for sure.

Yesterday, I met in the library with some friends so they can study for their biology exam tomorrow and I can get some books on one of the topics for my gfs

Btw, I got the best topics for my gfs's

In psychology I got schizophrenia and did, two things I've been interested in for years

I history I got something with Japan lol

And in English I got hamilton and I get to compare the musical to the real world history

My teachers are great for the most part and I haven't skipped class once yet and am not planning to do so either

I'm among the people with the most additional classes and on Wednesday, I'll get to go to the best university for psychology nearby and even get to attend one psychology and one jura lesson

My grades have gotten better. They're not the best yet, but I don't have to fear about passing anymore

Last Monday, we started a new topic in German class and our teacher made us play out a theatre script. We got to film each other. I decided to get revenge and wrote a script myself, following the same topic to ask him to play it for us. He did :)

He even said it was a prime example of that kind of text and that it was quite fitting for the topic pf that specific lesson. We were allowed to film him and he decided to make the text I wrote public to everyone in class

He actually puts effort into teaching and always gives us some great feedback for our homework and texts. I asked him if I could send him a poem I've written last year, simply because I want to know what I can do better. It's not about our current topic at all, but he still told me to go for it and even said on Friday that I will get feedback soon

And I'll go to London with the seminar course in February and might even get to see the Hamilton musical with some people :)

I still have depression and getting up everyday is an impossible seeming task... But I do it anyway and greet my peers. I don't expect them to say good morning back, but when they do, I do, in fact, have a good morning

when i tell you this made me tear up a bit i'm so proud of you bb!! legit thank you sm for like updating me this much, we barely talk lately which is mad sad jfjeifne but the fact you thought of me enough to tell MAKES ME SUPER HAPPY!!! i'm so glad you found some ppl that are somewhat close to you, even if you're not yet friends with em! also- having chemistry as your focus is CRAZY you smart smart. but english and german sounds mad fun!! i remember those two subjects being super fun as well, also defo update me about the london trip!! i didn't get to do a trip before graduation due to covid SO TELL ME HOW YOURS WENT 😤😤. again bub i'm mad proud of you for coming so far, i'm so so happy omg <333

[cupnoohdles]

it's been a while

hi, it's been a while. i wasn't able to write so much since i've been dealing with much more things i guess?? i don't know. i tried applying for a job that i applied to way back the first quarter of 2019 and i have already taken two exams but they have not contacted me yet, i had to retake the second exam because i suck hahaha. i feel so nervous about the results and i just hope that they would have the decency to contact me about the results, may it be good or bad, and not just ghost me. i found out that some companies just deadass ghost their employees about the results when they don't make the cut. lol i find it so unprofessional.

i also added another problem to my list, by the way. it has been making me anxious for days now, i think it has also been more than a week. lmao anyway, when i said yes to this i thought it will be something i could do during my free time since im also trying to do other things right? but joke's on me they told me that i have to spare atleast an hour everyday for this, which i dont want to do because this is something i'm not even sure of in the first place. yes, i am intersted but i did not expect it to be this taxing. and this opportunity also expects me to practice talking infront of people i don't know, and that gives me so much anxiety because i have social anxiety. lord god. it would be fine to attend seminars or talks but to be the one talking in front of people?? jesus christ i can't. not now. not yet. i haven't even healed from everything that has ruined me for the past few years and here i am trying to run away from another problem that brings the same anxiety that the past im trying to heal from has brought. i feel like i am back to that time, that place and it sucks. big time.

i wake up feeling anxious, i go through the day feeling anxious and i have been trying my best to distract myself from the anxiety it brings but nothing seems to work. saying yes to that opportunity also forced me to create a facebook account that might be found by the people i don't want to cross paths with and that me brings me so much anxiety too. it makes me feel so anxious and panicked and off. i couldnt even tell these people how im feeling because i doubt they will get where im coming from and i dont think they'd appreciate to know that i am mentally unstable lol.

i know this is all my fault because i have once again overstepped the boundaires i have set for myself. i dont know what on fucking earth happened on trying to practice saying "no" to people when i know i dont want to do what they expect me to do. it's hard. it was so hard to say no. it was so hard. "utang na loob" kept playing on my mind when they were talking to me about it so i just said yes. i fucking hate myself for being such a people pleaser. god i haven't change a bit and i hate myself for that. feels like i went back to zero and i've just wasted all the steps i have made towards healing.

[org3l]

12장:가까워진 듯 해 설렌 맘에 불러봐도,대답 없어 넌

The weather was hazy, as the leaves wither and altogether the branches unveil themselves in transition to winter. 

After your class, you didn’t know that next to your room was his, Dr. Lee’s post graduate class. You bid your goodbyes to your students first, and peeked to the glass from the door showing a portion of the room. You noticed how attentive the graduate students are, and their professor pointing to the monitor to guide them as he shows his specimens from his table. 

They nodded, and felt that your head did too when they did. 

He smiled, for a second, perhaps he realized how his students are catching up to what he is trying to explain. Then, he entertained questions, and welcomed inputs from the students before another topic is introduced. It felt like a normal conversation and he was telling an interesting story, and you already picture yourself attending one of his seminars soon with the faculty…

Must be engaging.

You can hear how he discuss: detailed and passionate at the same time. Speaking with the sole purpose to convey every detail the students have to know. Also, he made the class laugh by an inside joke you didn’t understand. It was impressive to know why he is respected and liked by many. It’s pretty rare, especially he’s just your lab assistant. It’s the moment where you realized of what he is in the university, and to see it to the door made you smile. 

Not just for being kind, but being a good mentor.

Suddenly, you thought of why did he even accept a job of a faculty member who admitted his withdrawal to help you. Maybe it was for courtesy, lack of manpower or just because he wants to. 

You don’t know. 

Yet you’re thankful to be assisted especially when you have lots of things at hand.

Although, you remained civil, because it is your job and your boss is assisting you.

It kind of feels a lot from him. But what else?

As your thoughts flew, you noticed that you’re standing in front of the door where he can see you. And when he turned and saw you, you gulped. A lump you didn’t notice that needed a push to be swallowed. He took a sharp breathe, and was about to step out of the class when you sprinted out of the hallway and went to hide somewhere.

A post you leaned on, and caught your breathe.

It’s not that you’re trying to avoid him, but to keep a professional relationship is tough especially if you have feelings.

And… to clarify, both of you having it at the same time, as his words uttered during the car ride.

You were hesitant after that day, thinking if it’s really going too fast or just at the right pace from Kibum’s comment.

Yet you miss him close, by just being together feels better than a regular day at work: to see him is a already a price, and to be close is a bonus.

Maybe it was the teaser for something spectacular. Or it can be an encore for an almost blooming relationship. You don’t know.

Too afraid to ask, and too much fear has already accumulated on you when starting again with relationships. You even notice that when you were guys eating with others, he seemed to be keen about his actions. Not too showy and like to just keep an eye on you. Which was sweet, but knowing how Kibum saw it worried you about what did he think? How did he feel?

Because you didn’t talk about it thereafter, and that leaves things unanswered.

It’s a new thing. Don’t let it slide, also don’t let it wither. It’s not supposed to spontaneous, not should be inert. It’s hard. But somehow, at the back of your brain, you remind yourself that if it’s meant to be, then it’s worth it.

Going back to your class, you saw your students fill up their seats and chattering for a while. You could sense their apprehensive behavoirs while fcusing on the key points from the few lectures you had that will appear in the test. Others were pacing or reviewing on their own, and that made you feel less uneasy despite the circumstance. That somehow, despite your current dilemma, their engagements are appreciated.

Which made you give bonus questions of current events and trends that they rejoiced with the sudden generosity. Sometimes, you can fight fire with fire, but nothing else beats fighting it with water.

Let it cool down, and let it simmer for a while until you can step upon the ground again. That’s why you decided to keep your distance from him, and to anyone connected to him. 

Especially Kibum, who might be texting you constantly on when you will hang out again especially he has so much things to say about Minho getting them back together. He can talk about him everyday, and to see them from afar how endearing they are made you feel happy for your now friend.  

Kibum: When are we going to hang out again? We can drink wine you know and talk about people who we are interested with.

You: Maybe next time. Lots of paperwork these days, and the upcoming exams too.

Kibum: I’ll look forward to that, please please, I miss you.

You: You see me in the hallways everytime, and we go to the vending machine for nothing.

Kibum: But you’re always going somewhere after class. What are you trying to do? Being a busybee for … Dr. Lee :’)??? Do you have any business that you have to do… with him?

You: Lol.

Kibum: What a random answer, what’s going on?

You: Nothing, we’ll definitely hang out soon. I’m currently finishing a report.

It’s your way of putting things in perspective, to try not let other opinions get into your way of deciding if this is right. You’re an adult, and can decide for yourself on what can be the right move in a complicated situation and the consequences of your chosen path.

It seems to be what life is about, and sometimes you want to just want to fight yourself out of it.

Nevertheless, you’re currently in that situation. To decide on whether this was right to feel at all.

The exams came around, and being a proctor in some classes gave you time to talk with yourself and finalize reports that are needed once the tests are done. Encoding is such a job to do, and your co-workers are ready to warm up their seats and join the train until you guys are done.

That’s the goal.

And you got it finished with some lapses, yet you managed to accomplish every to do list before the break. Figures, with no distraction. Instead, it felt like a pause to your own personal sake.

They said sublimation can be a harm. It kind of does not, sometimes.   

During the students’ break, you still go to the office with some unfinished businesses. Moreover, Taemin frequently visits Dr. Lee in his office during these times. And he won’t forget to say his regards to you every time he’s about to leave after stepping out of that room. But every time Dr. Lee… Jinki refers to you, you put on your earphones and continue your work. Even when you guys returned to classes again, that was the routine. Hence, when this happens, somehow he found a way to reach out to you.

He must’ve known.

But he’s no fortune teller.

But he has his tricks.

Even if he’s no magician, he has magic to capture your attention.

In your table, a cup of tea would be placed every day. It would have a post-it note of the following notes you kept on your room to look at the mirror once received. You want to keep it, since… it is from him.

He won’t get into detail since it’s just a small portion of paper, but to see them is an update to his life and how he feels with you is nice.

“Taemin wants to say hi. He thinks you’re working hard too much and he wishes to introduce you to his class sometime.”

“Will I be assisting tomorrow? I’ll be there early.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t at the laboratory today. Something came up, meeting at the Research Board. Here’s a bonus… doughnut. I think tastes good so I grabbed it from the meeting and kept it on my coat with tissue wrapped on it.”

The doughnut was there, with tissue. It looked bland, yet when you took a bite, he was right.

“Kibum’s being annoying and asking things about you to me. I told him that business that doesn’t concern the university nor the department and it’s associates are to be discussed to the said person he wants to talk with. Why aren’t you talking to him?”

“Funny. Now he talks to me about everything. Is this what you guys talk about? Minho? And… food?”

“I’m attending the game tonight, are you… coming? I can reserve a seat for you… anywhere you want. I can tell Minho, even if you want to seat on the bleachers if you want.”

“Are you going home… early or late? If you don’t have your car, I can take you home.”

“Meeting’s at the fifth floor room. I decided to order pizza. What flavor you want? They want Hawaiian. You can vote otherwise?”

“How are you today? Seem pretty sad. What’s up?”

“When will you be free? Let’s talk sometime.”

And from that last note was memorable, where you both looked at one another and he turned away to go back to his office like he was dragging himself in.

It felt heavy, and by pausing your music you heard his loud sigh from him. You felt squirmy, and to be this uncomfortable over someone feeling bad because you’re trying to solve something felt like a burden. You wish your mind isn’t so cranky and feeble, after all, it’s not just you.

[mikepemulis]

so i haven’t updated anything in like.. weeks (or months - looks guiltily at show me where it hurts) but I wrote this! idk if i’m gonna continue on with it, it just came to me in a burst of inspiration and i wanted to publish it... test out the waters

so this is snippet from a Dear Evan Hansen X-Men AU, because i love x-men and I also love deh so ye. 

1060 Words, Rated T, TW: Swearing and violence

“Murphy, Zoe?” The Man In Black asked, looking down at his sister. She nodded, her head slumped in her lap, seemingly resigned to her fate. The Man turned his head toward Connor.

“So that must make you -”

“Murphy-Comma-Connor-Comma-Blow-Me,” Connor growled, straining futilely at the handcuffs one last time.

The Man chuckled. “Your reputation precedes you, Mr. Murphy. Unfortunate that daddy won’t be able to pay your way out of this one.”

Connor shot daggers at The Man In Black. If looks could kill, Connor still wouldn’t be able to because of the stupid fucking collar on his neck.

There was a faint knock on the door, then the sound of it being pushed open. A kid Connor vaguely recognized shuffled in, a look of horror gripping his face when he finally looked up from his shoes.

“I’m so sorry, oh my god, I’m so sorry, I was told to talk to M-M-M-M-M-Mister Howard? Is he here? I can just leave oh my god I’m so -”

“Name?” The Man In Black asked.

“Heavenansen.” The kid stumbled out. His face went red and he was practically screaming at this point. It was kind of painful. “Oh my god. Oh my god I’m sorry. Evan Hansen! My name is Evan Hansen.”

The Man nodded, and His Assistant, who had melted back into the shadows re-emerged, securing a collar around Hansen’s neck.

“Him?” Connor barked. “You’ve gotta be fucking joking. This asshole wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Zip it, Murphy.”

“Oh fuck off -” Connor was interrupted by a sharp zap of electricity originating from his neck and coursing down his spine.

“What the hell was that for!” He yelled.

“You shouldn’t have been using your mutation, Mr. Murphy,” The Man In Black said, his composure regained.

Connor, however, was far from composed.

“Oh fuck you! I wasn’t using my powers and we both know it! You’re a fucking pussy, standing there in your suit! Take these fucking collars off of me and we’ll see what the fuck happens -”

“Connor!” Zoe’s voice was harsh and quiet. “Just. Drop it. Before you make things worse.”

Connor felt his mouth close.

“Now then,” The Man said. “Take a seat, Mr. Hansen.”

Hansen did not take a seat. He stood there, an incoherent jumble of syllables streaming from his mouth. His face was red. His nose was dripping. He looked as though he was about to cry.

“Mr. Hansen.”

He didn’t move.

“Take.”

He couldn’t move.

“A.”

Something bad was about to happen. Connor could feel it. It was like when he was about to explode, but inward.

“Seat.”

And then he was on the floor, sparks flying off his collar as he made strangled sounds. The Man In Black sighed. Connor wondered if he was trying to use his mutation to escape, or if it was a side effect of the panic attack. Either way, The Man made no move to help him. He just let him lie there, whimpering in pain, rocking himself on the floor. Connor tore his eyes away to glance at Zoe, who was clearly avoiding looking. Connor stared back at Hansen, still writhing in pain on the floor. He felt like he was going to throw up. He wanted to rip The Man In Black’s throat out.

The door opened once more, and this time the obnoxious girl from Connor’s AP Lit class walked in.

“Hi there, Mr Howard called me - oh my GOD!” The girl rushed over to Hansen.

“Evan? Evan Hansen? Are you okay? Can you hear me? Oh my god. Oh my god.” She stood up and whirled around to face The Man In Black. “What is this? No, actually, I’ll tell you what this is, this is a clear human rights violation! I have attended several seminars on bullying, and I refuse to be a bystander!”

“And your name is?”

“Alana Beck.” The girl said defiantly, like that meant something. Apparently it did, because The Man nodded and His Assistant walked over and quickly collared Alana’s neck.

“What?!” She exploded. “What is this?! What are you doing here? One of my fathers is a lawyer and you can bet that you will be hearing from me in court! You cannot put electric collars on people - especially not minors - they’ve been ruled potentially life threatening by the Department Of -”

“We’re authorized to use deadly force when it comes to apprehending dangerous mutants.”

Beck stopped dead in her tracks.

“Mu…” She trailed off, then scoffed. “I’m not… I’m not a mutant.” She spat the word, like it was a disgusting thing to be accused of. Connor grimaced.

“Really?” The Man In Black asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I am Alana Beck. I… I’ve won several citizenship awards, I take all advanced classes, I have early acceptance to Yale and a 4.0 GPA and am valedictorian! You can’t just make baseless accusations -”

“Baseless? We ran a mandatory test on everyone at this school for the X Gene when you went in for vaccinations. And you, Ms. Valedictorian, came out positive.”

“That’s ridiculous! You can’t lie to people and test them without their consent! And I’m not… I am not a -”

“Alright.”

“What?”

“What?!” Connor yelled, then was silenced by a pulse of electricity.

“There’s a simple test regarding the mutation we logged you for. Just take off your glasses.”

“What?”

“Take off your glasses, Ms. Beck.”

“This is unconstitutional. Where’s your warrant?! I want a lawyer!”

“Your. Glasses.”

“I… I’ve never… I never hurt anyone.” She sounded broken. Defenseless. Beaten down and scared.

The Man took a step towards her. “Ms. Beck. We both know that’s not true.”

Alana let out a noise between a sigh and a sob.

“Sit down, Ms. Beck.”

She stared at the floor and slowly slumped down in the seat farthest away from Connor and Zoe.

The Man crossed the room.

“Are you calmer now, Mr. Hansen?”

Hansen whimpered and nodded. His collar had stopped sparking.

“Can you compose yourself well enough to sit down?”

Slowly, Hansen got to his feet and wobbled over to the line of chairs, sitting two seats away from Connor. His face was still red, and stained with snot and tears. The Man In Black nodded, and His Assistant silently pulled Evan’s, and then Alana’s hands behind their backs and secured them in the same adamantium handcuffs that adorned Connor and Zoe.

----

note: should i put this on ao3 to gauge a better response? idk. i’ve gotta go finish my secret santa gift now lol 

[mitthroughmylens]

Celebrating a God-send, Bettina Arkhurst

#YouCanDoItOnlyYouCanDoItYouCantDoItAlone

Summary: We live in a small, connected world. You never know who you will encounter decades later, so do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Once again, our all-knowing and all-powerful God connects us with people long before the need arises - it could be a few days, a few months, or a couple of decades, but when everything falls into place, you will marvel at His wondrous works.

———————————————

Bettina Arkhurst. My God-ordained older sister.

I don’t think I can ever tell my MIT story without talking about Bettina. My experience with Bettina is the most tangible illustration of how God arranges life paths decades before the need arises.

I first met Bettina when I was about 8 years old. We attended the same primary school when she moved to Ghana for about a year but I don’t think we ever spoke because she was one grade above me.

10 years later, on the first day I walked into McCormick Hall, I saw someone who closely resembled her. I really wanted to scream “Bettina!” but 1. It was only day one and 2. I would feel REALLY bad if it wasn’t her. So I focused on hauling my suitcases into my room and made a note to self to find out if it was her later. When Bettina spotted me a few hours later, she screamed: “Is that Jessica Quaye?!” “Bettina?!” We both screamed and she gave me a BIG hug. Then she said: Wow! Welcome to MIT!

During the second weekend of the semester, I asked her if I could speak with her. She boxed brunch and asked me to come over to her room. Bettina extended warmth that reminded me of Raul and Flavia. She said to me “Jessica, week 2 is already done! How’s it going? How are you liking it?” I still remember how quickly her smile faded as she dropped her fork into her green box when I burst into tears screaming “I really want to go home!” Bettina comforted me and explained that homesickness was common for freshmen, but she told me that it didn’t last forever and things would get better with time.

Please help me to understand this. What are the odds that I will meet someone who spent only a year in my primary school IN GHANA at MIT? What are the odds that she and I will live in the same residence hall?

Every close friend of Bettina’s either heard of me or met me because I was her self-appointed +1. Everywhere she went, I clung onto her because she was one of the few familiar faces I knew. I even remember joining her and her friends to study in Seminar Room A 😂

Bettina introduced me to several organizations at MIT that saw me through to the end. She introduced me to PT when I asked for church recommendations (specifically the 11:30am service which was heavily attended by college students) and 4 years later I couldn’t be more grateful to have joined the PT family. She, Ashley and I walked to church together on most Sundays (except when Bettina was late - lol sorry to out you Bettina). She also introduced me to Gospel Choir, a student group where I gained another family and nurtured my vocal prowess.

On my first birthday at MIT, Bettina took me to Flour. She got me a cute cupcake and did the whole birthday shebang - song, candle, public attention. She made me feel so loved and cared for.

Bettina’s mother took me as her own. Every time she visited, I felt like my own mother had visited 😭 Whenever she came, she brought all the Ghanaians packages containing jollof, chicken, shito, and other Ghanaian goodies. Her biggest gift to me was her big heart wrapped in a Ghanaian mother’s love. I loved hearing the familiar Fante that rolled off her tongue and the laughter that accompanied her funny memories of Ghana.

Bettina had a heart for people; she cared deeply about mental health awareness and she invested a lot of time and energy into making MIT a more balanced place. At MIT, she founded a movement called “Random Acts of Kindness” Week (RAK Week). RAK Week is a week for randomly reaching out to others and showing them some love and warmth in whichever way you can. Whether it's a smile and a wave or a note of gratitude to a friend or staff member, RAK Week was founded to encourage people to randomly do something nice or show love to a stranger.

Last summer, Bettina and I reconnected when she visited Seattle. In true Bettina fashion, she surprised me at work with a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Pike Place Market and then she took me out to dinner at a fancy restaurant.

I like to think of Bettina as my God-sent older sister with whom I could share my first 2 years at MIT. She was in a unique position to understand my situation - having lived in Ghana once and known what a transition to an education system like MIT’s felt like, being plugged into a Bible-believing church and settled at MIT, and having a heart of compassion which never ceased to care for others.

Bettina, I never forgot what you did for me in my first 2 years at MIT. No matter where I was, for whatever reason, whenever I called, you came through. Whether it was lending me clothes, hearing me cry, cheering for me, tolerating me when you had your own battles to fight, or making me feel like I mattered, you played your God-given role of big sister through and through. When you briefly attended Alsyd about 15 years ago, who ever thought that our paths would cross again? I always pray that I can be at least half the person you were to me when I first arrived at MIT.

[sapphirethesexyone]

2017 came in like a bitch and went out like a champ. It’s been a hell of a year. My whole life changed.

 I know this to be true because I went back exactly one year and read My end of the year blog post from 2016. It starts like this

 “I’m living a double life (or maybe triple lol) but I’m definitely living more than one. I appear online through My photos to be a vixen, a woman of the world who can make men fall to her feet. That’s a part of Me but not one I let out regularly. I play vixen.  Those who only see My words and never My pics would think I’m a nerd. Outside of My modeling, I am a paid blogger who writes 3 days a week for an urban blog. I am a magazine columnist for a monthly mag and on staff for another urban magazine, which I write for bi-monthly. Additionally, I work on My own writing projects and am completing My first book of erotic stories.  I also run a talent promotion and resource website. I build websites. I love to help people reach their dreams as I’ve been lucky enough to do a few times. I love knowing I’m on the cover of a book and magazines. I love that My xxx business led me to the top. I fucked the man himself, Ron Jeremy in 2012. I am ecstatic that My talent promotion business is opening a whole different set of doors for Me. I can’t wait to add published author to the list.

Outside of My work, I spend most of My time on the couch honestly. I love to spend a day lost in documentaries, a good book, or raunchy cartoon. I’m a pothead. I’m generally quiet because I find that the people I send time around are not as intelligent as I and we can’t communicate on a level I feel peaceful on. I hate arguing with an idiot or   trying to explain something to someone whose mind is closed. I rather tell them just do your own damn research and shut up. I LOVE to agree to disagree. It keeps the peace.

I don’t date. I tried. I quit. Men suck, no seriously. They look at Me   and form and idea of what I am, what they want from Me and they run with it. They don’t give a fuck that I don’t want the same. I’m tired of saying no more than once, tired of fighting men off Me, tired of men hanging around Me thinking I’m going to be the fantasy they’ve concocted in their heads. I’m not, I’m just plain ol’ Me. I don’t date.” Read the rest of this blog post http://sapphirethesexyone.tumblr.com/post/154933706857/2017-sapphirewho-is-this-chameleon-now

 Just reading those 5 paragraphs, I have no choice but to acknowledge how far I’ve come in 12 short months. A year is 365 days and this year, they flew by so fast, it felt like we had only half of that. My whole life is different. When I look back at the words I wrote last year, I am so proud of myself.

 Not even taking my individual accomplishments into account, I am extremely proud of the mindset shift that I’ve had in 2017, which led to a life I would have never anticipated 365 days ago.

 This time last year, I hated Myself and life. I felt lost. For the first time in My adulthood, I felt that I had no choice but to stand on My own two feet. I didn’t think I was ready. Since the age of 20 I have had a guardian angel, a man I called My best friend, he was so much more. He was My everything. He was My father figure, My best friend, the man who loved Me most in the world, My spiritual guide and My role model. I was mourning him this time last year, in a way, I have all year still.

 In April on 2017, we went out for a typical day out, lunch, movie and a long walk around the harbor talking. It was the last time we spent real time together, the next day I was at the hospital as he was rushed in for emergency surgery. His appendix had erupted and at the age of 73, he had other complications. He never woke up. His extremely religious family wouldn’t let him go. It’s been a year and a half, he’s still in a vegetative state I hear, he may have had a leg amputated.

It was My best friend that I always spent holidays with because I’m not close to My family. I hadn’t had him for the holiday season, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years’ Eve…..without him, I was miserable. Instead of My closest friend, I was spending the holidays with the person who had stepped up to fill his spot. The problem there, was that we weren’t getting along. After three years, we were still having a hard time finding balance in our relationship, like most men I encountered, we met through something sexual. We weren’t sexual, but he met Me as a cam girl.

 Because of how we met, as our friendship evolved, I had a hard time understanding if he was looking at Me as a friend or as a woman who turned him on. Some of his actions and gifts felt more like manipulation. He had recently helped Me get My dentures, which cost 6K. After helping Me, he started to say things that were borderline “you owe me” and I couldn’t deal. We were fighting constantly. On New Year’s Eve, we had a huge blowout. I was inspired to create a yearly goal for 2017, to strive for total independence because to Me, independence meant freedom.

 I live on My own, but I’m legally disabled. I work in the ways I can when I can but normal day to day activities and schedules don’t work for Me. I pay My bills with My disability check and whatever money I make is a supplement, it helps but I haven’t gotten to a point yet where I even make steady money to pay My own bills. This time last year I was in a much worse situation. I was barely making any money from My side business. Every month I needed help. My friend was paying My phone and cable every month and I still would be struggling.

 January 2017 was like every other January for Me, I was broke, miserable and trapped in the house for the most part. In the winter, My fibromyalgia flares up so badly that I am pretty much incapacitated in pain. February found Me hopeful, I was going to work towards independence and freedom. I just wanted to be happy, but getting there would be an adventure.

 February found Me hopeful of a new start, I didn’t realize just how different it would be. For Valentine’s Day in 2017, I decided to give Myself the best gift that I cold, freedom. I had been sexually chained to men whom I felt had no real use for Me beyond sex. If they had any other use for Me, they hadn’t made it known in so long, I had forgotten. Truthfully, I had little use for each but craved a friendship at least with the men I was sleeping with. All we had was sex. I told them all for Valentine’s Day that it was time to end it. This included men I had been sleeping with for 10 years down to men I had been sleeping with for 10 months.

 Life hit Me with another curveball right after that, another loss. I had been working intensively with My therapist for 7.5 years at least 1 to 3 days a week for over 7 years. I walked into my therapist’s office one day and she floored Me. After 7.5 years of weekly interaction, she told Me she couldn’t see Me any longer. Since I had started seeing her, she’d returned to school and obtained more degrees. At this point, she no longer could accept My state sponsored insurance.

 I went into a deep depression, I stayed in bed for about two weeks, crying and trying to figure out how I would go forth. Eventually, I dragged Myself out of bed.

 In late February, early March, I attended a workshop that changed My life. I thought I was going to learn how to publish a book in 30 days, I didn’t what I was attending was a sales seminar. The facilitator wanted to sell us her program, not give us her knowledge. I could respect that, but because of where I was in My life, business and writing career, I was able to take the knowledge she did give and figure out how to publish a book.

 I mapped out a plan of action and was ready to take the leap….as soon as My tax returns came in. After preparing My taxes, I realized I would only be receiving $300 back and that was nowhere near the $2000 I was expecting. I was discouraged. Realizing I didn’t really need that much to get started, I started thinking about how I could publish My book. I told a fan/customer My dilemma. They offered Me money, no strings attached. He started with $1.,000 Canadian money which turned out to be a little over $750 U.S. I took that and published My first book, SapphirErotica, bought a few domains names, built a few sites and purchased a bunch of marketing materials. I also paid to be a apart of a women’s empowerment tour that was popular at the moment.

 Once I published that book I felt like I had accomplished My main goal and it was time to move forward. I had 20 books in Me, I knew it. I immediately published a second book, then a 3rd and fourth. I started to publish anthologies, which I hadn’t anticipated doing from the beginning. Learning what I did in that workshop, I knew it was the way to go to gain real attention as a writer and make money as a writer at the same time.

 I had no clue the attention My new business and movement would start to attract. I told people I was stronger than my struggles. I had been fighting to be stronger than the things that had been trying to break me for a long time. I already had started to share My story via My Youtube series, The Sexy Sapphire Chronicles and Sapphire Says and had been blogging about My life for 10 years on and off. I had been wanting to connect with more women because I knew that My story and determination would resonate with Me. Because of My past in the sex industry, I had a hard time connecting with women. I had no female friends and though I was putting My story out, I wasn’t connecting with women like I wanted to.

 I’m shy and quieter than people would expect as I quoted from My post last year. In May, I decided that I would challenge Myself for the month of June to do 30 days of Facebook live. I had been wanting to do live videos but had been avoiding them because I was terrified about who I am and how it would display itself on camera. I’m unpredictable and prone to saying whatever, My mouth is reckless. I didn’t know how I would be received or how it would appeal to women. I didn’t want to sell, I wanted to connect, I wanted to be real.

 When I started my Facebook live challenge in June, I had only published two books and was working on My third. I started telling people about My aspirations, how I really wanted to move into office space or start earning enough money that I could easily rent space for the events that I wanted to have, including a free weekly writing workshop. I went in depth about how I wanted to be an asset to survivors and my community both/ I also talked about support and love. I was still beefing with My male friend who had been doing so much for Me, now I wanted and needed someone I could talk to who held no resentments, wanted nothing from Me and who would hear Me out. I had already cut off all My lovers and this point, not only did I feel friendless, but alone.

 Through My almost daily Facebook live videos, I found Myself opening up in a way I hadn’t in years. I’d get on cam and talk sometimes for three hours straight and people would turn in from start to finish. It was then I realized that I wasn’t alone. I just didn’t have the conventional support that I had been seeking. These strangers via Facebook started to become a part of My life in a way, they were My support, My family. I couldn’t wait to log in and share My day.

 By the end of June, I had amazing news to share. In My boldness and happiness from feeling so free and accepted I had filled out an application to move into the Impact Hub. I had first found out about the place a little over a year prior to My joining. I had been attending free monthly networking meetings there and had attend a few other events in the space. The building was beautiful, and the vibe was familial. I had checked out the costs of membership a few times and hated life because it was out of reach for someone like Myself, on a fixed income. Something drew Me back in June, the same voice that said that it was time to go live.

 When I went to the website, there was a link that had not previously been visible. It said scholarship. I filled out the form, hopeful but not thinking they would pay Me much mind. I bared My soul, telling them how I used to be a former whore and that I was working to now run legit businesses and I wanted a creative space to belong and rejoin the community.

 Within a week I had received a message that they wanted to meet Me, once I arrived, I was told that I was in. I immediately leapt into action on putting My workshops into play.

 I wanted to get acclimated at the new office, but I had to wait until July 5th for My member ship to start, after the holiday. I had recently started spending time with a woman I had met in a writing workshop a few years back, one day she suggested we go to lunch. I had recently discovered HoneyGro and took her there to eat and then to the museum to enjoy the sculpture garden. I had the bright idea that I’d show her the building where I would be having My new office, we stopped past the Impact Hub.

 As we left to head back to our respective homes, it started to rain and instead of our normal bus, we hopped the first one that came, a free purple route circulator. The moment we stepped on the bus, My eyes were immediately drawn to the back of the bus. There in the back, in the center seat, sat the most perfect chocolate man I had seen in years. He was Black, dark, locs cascading down his back. He looked up and smiled, his smile was gold, literally. He had fronts but his smile was still beautiful. He was on his phone and I was on the prowl.

 My girlfriend and I sat across from each other on either side of him and I started to engage her in convo that I hoped would get his attention, it did. He spent the rest of the bus ride engaging us both but focusing on Me. When she got off the bus earlier than us both, we weren’t complaining. Turns out he worked near My house and was headed to work. I could have enjoyed some time with him on the rest of the 40-minute ride, but I had to make a post office run in the rain. We parted, he immediately text Me. We’ve been seeing each other since, in 2 days it will be 6 months.

 He’s far from perfect, in fact, he’s stronger than his struggles and that is why I have fallen for him. On our first visit and time spent alone, I was overwhelmed by the chemistry between us two. I felt like a snack and could tell he was hungry. I told him day one that I had herpes and had been infected for 19 years. He held Me while I cried, kissed Me and then told Me it was okay. We made love. He also came clean about himself that day, he was a former street dude, a thug in a lot of ways, a criminal in others, he had been to jail and for a 10-year period or so, he was an addicted deadbeat. He had fallen into this culture of pill popping and lean sipping and went years without a proper job, he had been homeless, he has 8 children.

 He was honest that at the time, he was living in a transitional housing situation. Technically, still homeless. However, his personality was so refreshing, so humbling and his spirit so beautiful, that none of this mattered to Me. In fact, for two months or so, we were happily moving along until he told Me who one of his two baby mothers was. It devastated Me, she and I used to be like best friends in high school and he has 4 kids with her. I immediately cried and stressed, loving him felt wrong but I wasn’t willing to walk away either. I asked him to tell him, it’s been 4 more months, he hasn’t yet. But we had a good convo about it yesterday because he’s ready for Me to start meeting his kids I think. He started talking about it and I told him I have no problem, after she is aware of who he is dating. She can only hear it from one of us, I would hate for her to find out any other way, though we sure don’t hide in public.

 I couldn’t believe how My summer was going. By August 1st, I had gotten comfortable at the Impact hub, published a third book, was head over heels for the guy I had met and had facilitated My first two workshops. I was on top of the world. My year had started tumultuous, but I noticed that since I started making determinations and plans in February, My life had changed. It was as if I took control.

 From August forth, I was unstoppable. There were workshops and speaking engagements. I saw Myself on a skyscraper billboard. I published 3 more books and made plans to launch a publishing company. My blogging had led to such great assignments as being paid to interview r&b legend Kenny Lattimore. My curiosity led Me to attend networking events that would have before scared Me in size and nature. I learned to walk into room that I once would have felt uncomfortable in, with My head held high. I met celebrities, heard media and business icons speak live in person. I even met a Ghanaian Queen.

 In October I launched My coaching programs. I had been doing coaching sessions, which are almost like therapy here and there but was unhappy with the way I could monitor the progress of the people who were paying Me for help. Launching My signature program gave My coaching structure and allowed Me to help them in a better way and also to keep track of their progress.

 I was shocked when a woman whom I had met in August at one of My workshops signed up for coaching. In August, she had driven from Connecticut to attend My book publishing workshop and have a one on one meeting with Me. We really got along well, but truthfully, I was a little intimidated by her. She was tall, beautiful, outgoing and had the letters PhD, behind her name. I’m glad I took her one as a client, Over the last few months, she’s taught Me more than she knows and has helped Me grow in more ways than one.

 She’ll be publishing her book this month and I can’t wait. She approached Me in the last week twice with statements that made My day. Once she asked about investing My business, the next time she came back and told Me she wanted to write a book with Me. I was amazed, not only do we make a great team and work well together, but I can’t get over the thought of seeing My name on the cover of a book next to that of a doctor. I’m here for it though, you hear?

 A woman I met in the summer has become My closest friend, My business bestie if you will. I had been doing local radio spots and promo to advertise My book in June or July. After a few appearances on a particular show, the host told Me about another show he thought I’d be a good fit for as co-host. Once I met the main host of the show, it was obvious that she had checked out. I could see her passion beneath the surface for another project she had That was her baby and where he energy flowed. I told her I’d come out and support her event. I did the following month.

 I went in shy, not sure what to expect and by My 3rd month there, I felt like family. I found Myself anticipating the day of the month that we could go fellowship. The woman was so nice and open that I felt comfortable enough to ask her to support My writing workshop, she obliged. Back and forth it seems we would trade favors or compliments until I looked up to and realized that I trusted her. We had become friends. I haven’t had female friends in so long. The bonus? Her wife is just as cool and down to earth. I made one friend and got two.

 2017 was a year of progress and growth with just a sprinkle of real life bullshit thrown in. My ex has continued to weave his way in and out of My life, getting my hopes all up that he’ll change. He won’t’ and in 2018, I won’t even allow Myself to be fooled into thinking he will. We spent Christmas night together. I think I will look at that as closure. My son has determined that he will be a lost cause and there is nothing I can do to stop him. My step mother has joined his cause. I’m literally so tired of her undermining My authority as a parent that though I know she has been allowing My son to run the streets of Baltimore at all times of night when I have not approved of it, I’ve said nothing. Instead I’ve checked out and went back to basics. The government said food, clothing and shelter, I provide those, leave Me alone for the rest.

 Giving up on your kid is hard but condoning who he is becoming is not an option and trying to change someone else is fruitless. He has to decide eh is tire do f living the way he is. Sadly, in less than a year, he will be 18. I’m not the cut you off at 18 type parent, IF you’re doing what you’re supposed to as a young adult. He has no hope. I don’t see him getting it together til about twenty. I’ll be here then.

 The biggest obstacles I faced all year were trying to make My son care about his future, figuring out who I am love and relationship wise, (am I monogamous or poly?) missing the two people who had been the most influential parts of My life, My therapist and best friend and the constant battle for respect with the guy who stepped into the role of best friend when Mine no longer could fill the role.

 The biggest wins I had in 2017 were

 ·         Becoming a published author and releasing 6 of the 9 books I finished

·         Moving into a co-working space

·         Launching My Stronger Than My Struggles

·         Becoming more a part of the local arts community

·         Falling in love

·         Being taken seriously as a coach

·         Being booked to speak in front of so many people

·         Getting closer to My goal of financial independence. I now pay My own bills every month.

·         Cut off the men who were using Me sexually

·         Found out that I was indeed capable of being successful without My shrink

·         Learned so much about entrepreneurship

·         Being named honorary BADD Girl of the year by BADD Magazine

·         Interviewing Kenny Lattimore

·         Made female friends

  And there were so many more wins. 2017 was great. For the first time I even beat the holiday blues season. I didn’t get depressed, hate life and avoid everyone after thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was a little hard on Me, it was the second without My best friend who was really My everything. I was better afterwards though and Through Christmas and the new year, the holiday blues never took hold of Me.  For once, I looked at engagement pictures and happy family photos on social media and said, “they deserve that”, instead of why not Me. I have come a long way.

 Yesterday was New Year’s Eve and I didn’t make any significant plans. Thanksgiving I had chosen to spend alone. Christmas eve into Christmas morning I spent with My ex, getting the closure that a woman deserves after almost 3 years of nonsense. Christmas Day, I spent with the friend who had taken My best friend’s place. I already knew the guy that I’ve been seeing had to work, besides, he has eight kids, there was little hope of spending time with him. Though I hadn’t planned on seeing him, I found Myself bothered by his lack of communication over the holiday. I was ready to call it off.

 I snapped at him and told him I felt insignificant and I don’t allow that. He apologized and said he wanted to do better and that he loved Me. It was the first time he had said it and it caught Me off guard. He surprised Me on New Year Eve and wanted to spend the day together before work. I was ecstatic, I understood not only did he want to see Me, but he wanted Me to not be mad, he wanted Me to know I matter. I already had plans to hang out with a friend but cut them short with the swiftness. I made us some dinner, cleaned up and prepared to feel loved on. He didn’t disappoint.

 When he walked in My door looking like God in human form I was reminded of the day we met and how this attraction has been instant from moment one. We spent the day in bed, laughing and talking, cuddling and figuring out our future. We discussed what we wanted from each other and where we were both at mentally in the relationship. It was so different and needed. I was able to confess to him that I was glad he wasn’t ready for commitment because I was afraid I wasn’t ready either and the idea of Me fucking up and losing him totally scared Me all the time. He mentioned Me meeting his kids finally, I told him how My son could benefit from hearing his story.

 All day, we did what we do best, comfort each other, listen to each other and watch cartoons. Before it was time for him to prep for work, I got up and made him a plate then kept him company while he ate. After he left, there were still 3 hours before midnight, I called a long-time associate and told them come bring in the new year with Me. We got stupid high and watched the new Dave Chappelle stand ups on Netflix until I finally passed out near 2 a.m.

 I woke up at quarter to five this morning, on the couch, hung over from weed and smiling. I sat up and started to finish typing this on the brand new 2018 laptop I received for Christmas. My new best friend still does things for Me, but the dynamics of our friendship has changed. He does them now understanding that it gives him no leverage at all. With or without him I will have the things I need and want and I won’t tolerate any bullshit being sent My way. We’ve found balance.

 I had spent the prior day with 3 men but had only been intimate with one. For those who know about My sex ocd, that was a big step, right? I am secure in the fact that while I currently don’t want anyone but the guy I am seeing, that if I slip up and exchange physical energy with someone else, it won’t ruin what I have, I just have to be safe unlike when I fucked My ex unprotected.  I took control of My life in 2017. I called all the shots and visualized the things I wanted before getting them.

 In 2018 I will continue to move forth with the same purpose and passion. I have things in store for Myself and My business that I can’t wait to embark on.

 Yet, the most important milestone of 2018 will be October 11th, the day My son turns 18. I have tried for years to get My son back on track and it has been disastrous. As a parent, for the last year, I’ve wanted to check out. The law doesn’t allow that however, and I’m fully responsible for My son, no matter how fucked up he decides he will be. That changes on October 11, 2018. I will always be his mother, but no longer will I be his scape goat or the one they call when he fucks up. This kid has 10 months left to blame Me for why his life is shit and then I get to say oh well. I’ve been looking forward to it and I can’t wait.

 2017 I set myself up for a life of financial freedom, in 2018 I will claim it and My son will no longer be My responsibility, just My son.

 2018 here I come. You ready?

Check out My books on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Melony-Hill/e/B071NF1ZCL/ 

Check out My website and other blog at http://www.strongerthanmystruggles.com 

Add Me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100011090133858 

Follow Me on Instagram http://www.instagram.com/strongerthanmystruggles 

[delamd-blog]

The Ultimate Guide to Adulting in the Philippines (My First Job Application)

Hello, this is the blog that no one asked for but I’m gonna write about it anyways lol So, months after graduating the board exam and applying for med schools, I was stuck at home with nothing to do. I couldn’t apply to the hospitals in my area because the training was for 6 months and if I got hired, I would have to sign a contract saying I would work for the hospital for 2 years. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Joke onli but I just couldn’t commit to such a long contract because I would be going to med school some time around August. So... what a great dilemma, right? After weeks of binge watching Netflix series and playing a bunch of games, I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I kid you not, I could feel my brain rotting away. I was so goddamn bored out of my mind that I decided to look for jobs. 

Step 1: Writing a Resume and Realizing that You Have Nothing To Offer

I of course had to create a resume. It’s a good thing that when I was in college, the creator of jobs180.com had a talk in our college.He’s a really funny guy. So funny and convincing that he managed to convince me to sign up for his site lol Surprisingly thought it’s actually a good website because it create a professional looking resume and you get an online profile too. You can print your online resume into one page which contains your picture, description, educational attainment, licenses and certifications, seminars attended, skills, languages and character referrals. Literally all you need to do here is input your info and the site will arrange it into a professional looking resume so it removes so much hassle from your life. Plus, it functions like jobstreet wherein you get alerts for jobs that match your credentials. Just frequently check your email for alerts. I highly recommend this website. I wasn’t paid to say this btw but jobs180, if you’re reading this, hmu pls haha sponsor me daddies. 

If you really wanna make your life difficult though, go ahead and make your own resume following the traditional standards set by your school or university and there are a lot of samples available in the internet which you could use as a guide.

Step 2: Realizing That Running Papers is Hard but the Government Requires It

So you’ve gone ahead and made a sick looking resume. You MUST think it’s time to look for a job and apply right? WRONG. Don’t do it yet, sis. Don’t be a pleb like me. Jobs will require you to have a bunch of things like NBI clearance, work permits, Philhealth, PAG-IBIG, SSS, TIN and credentials from your school like a diploma or transcript of records. So before you proceed with looking for a job and applying, I suggest you secure these documents first! Otherwise, after you get accepted at your job, you will be forced to cram all these requirements and you will be tired as fuck just like me! I was so dumb thinking I could get away with working and not having these things. I’m lucky that the company I applied for is very friendly to first timers and they were kind enough to give us a list of requirements for these things.

2.1 Get Yourself a Valid ID

Where to start? Well, sis, you need a valid government ID to get all these things done. How do you get that in the Philippines when the system requires you to have a government ID to claim another government ID?!!? Who the fuck designed this labyrinth of a life right? Fear not! I have a lifehack for you. Just go to your barangay and get a barangay clearance or go to your City Hall (even better if you go during the weekdays so there’s not a lot of people) and get a Cedula. These things don’t require a valid ID you just need to pay. These will serve as your valid IDs. But I really suggest that you get a Cedula because you will need this for other requirements. If you’re 18, you can get a driver’s license in LTO too. Plus, you can order a PSA birth certificate online and have it delivered to your house. Order more than one and immediately have it photocopied. You’re gonna need a lot of those. Always photocopy whatever IDs and important papers that you have. Keep 1 photocopy together with the original in a plastic envelope or plastic filing folder. It must be PLASTIC. Why? So that it’s waterproof. This is something that I learned the hard way. Again, sis, learn from my mistakes. Also, I suggest that you secure at least 2 valid IDs. Why? Because they need one valid ID to confirm the details of the other valid ID. I KNOW. STUPID RIGHT but yeah it needs to be done.

2.2 Next Valid ID: NBI Clearance

The good thing about this is it’s much easier to get this compared to back in the ol’ days. But you need to get this done before you get an actual job just in case you have the same name with a criminal in the Philippines. If you have the same name with a criminal, you will get a ‘HIT’ which will mean that your NBI clearance will get delayed. I was lucky that my name is so unique so I didn’t get a hit and I was able to process my NBI clearance in one day lol. To do this, just go to their website and register online. You have to set an appointment in their website. I suggest you do it in the morning so you can process other things in the afternoon that you might need. You must bring a valid ID as well as a birth certificate. You can pay them online through ebanking services but in my case my mom made me physically go to the bank. Remember to screenshot your reference number, their BDO account number and other details so you won’t get delayed at the bank. You don’t need to print your NBI registration form, but you need to screenshot your Reference number. Idk how it’s done in your NBI site but in my experience, I had to first have my bank deposit receipt authenticated then they gave me a queuing number. When my number got called, I did the biometrics then I presented my PRC ID and my birth certificate. They asked for my reference number so I showed the screenshot on my phone. Then I just waited near the releasing area to be called. Viola! I got my NBI clearance. 

Important Tip: Don’t be a poo poo head. If you’re unsure of where to line up or what the next step is, ASK someone. Even the stranger next to you. I learned that Filipinos are actually polite and helpful if you’re going through the same shit. Kahit introvert ako, nagtanong tanong na ako sa mga katabi ko kasi naiinis ako mag-aksaya ng oras not knowing where to go. Plus, the quicker you get shit done, the sooner you can go home and rest, di ba? Motivation.

2.2. Philhealth, SSS, PAG-IBIG With Minimum Hassle? ask me how 

Don’t be intimidated. These things can be done online! You just have to be very patient and fill out their online forms as soon as possible and as accurately as you can. I suggest you do Philhealth first coz (god forbid) what if you get sick and hospitalized from all the anxiety of job searching? Ya need Philhealth to cover for your sick ass. Don’t forget to print your MDR form just in case your employer asks for it. The website is kind of wonky. Once I logged out, I couldn’t log back in and recover my MDR so I had to manually fill it out haist. You can for this this through the bank too and then when you get the confirmation from Philhealth that they got your payment, bring the receipt to the nearest branch and get your ID! The whole process takes about 3 days. While it’s pending, apply for SSS and PAG-IBIG too. You have to do PAG-IBIG as soon as you can coz they process kind of slow. It takes approximately 3-4 days for you to get your PAG-IBIG number but at least you can text them to get an update about your application. When you apply for SSS online, they email you some forms. So print these forms ASAP and have them photocopied too. Once you have done this, congrats! You’re almost done!

Step 3: Looking For An Actual Job Without Experience and Realizing that All Jobs Need Experience

Wow, after going through all that trouble you now realize that there are no jobs out there for your field? All the salaries they offer are so low? Why the hell does everything require 2 years of experience?! And why are all the jobs so far away??? Sis, I feel you! I was so stressed out looking for a job online too! I really did not know where to start. So here’s what I did. I signed up for all the common job hunting websites coz my logic was, surely, these companies wouldn’t post ads in these websites if they weren’t actually actively looking. Right? Well, again.. I was WRONG. Some companies take so long to reply so you have to be very patient. Really, really patient. Don’t be sad if a company doesn’t reply immediately just think that maybe their HR is swamped or something. So for me, I signed up for Jobstreet, Glassdoor, Upwork, LinkedIn and Fastjobs. The good thing is that these things can be downloaded on your phone and you can turn on notifications for them so they will alert you for possible job opportunities. But for me, Indeed.com is where I found my job. This isn’t a sponsored post but hello websites, if you’re reading this, sponsor me daddies. Just narrow your search by entering your desired job and current location in the search bar and then apply to anything and everything. Dont be afraid of rejection! What’s the worst that can happen? NOTHING. And the best case scenario? That you get an interview or the employer replies! Every negative thing is just water off the duck’s back. Go lang ng go sis! Di lalapit sa you ang trabaho.

Step 4: Going to your first job application and Interview!

Let’s just assume that you got an interview or a call. (Keep your phone close by at all times and answer calls from unknown numbers politely because chances are, it’s one of the jobs you applied for calling) Dress for success if you’re gonna go for an interview. I dressed up in a corporate attire even if it wasn’t require coz I was trained by my Uni to do it that way eh. Besides, you will feel more formal and more serious if you’re dressed for the job talaga. For the interview, speak slowly and clearly. If you’re not confident, well, FAKE your confidence. SMILE and don’t be afraid to ask your employer questions. For the job i was applying for, we even had an online test which took HOURS. Lol. They were testing our english, active listening and typing skills. It’s a real good thing that I am a fast typer coz I scored the highest in their typing test. They require only 25wpm but I can type around 60 wahahahaha. 

Tip: I suggest you go sit beside someone who you know is already done with the interview and ask him/her how it went. Then you can prepare your answers ahead of time. They usually ask the same set of questions coz who the hell has time to come up with personalized questions for every applicant. Sis, ako talaga introvert ako eh pero wala chinika ko pa rin yung mga katabi ko. hahaha ano namang masama sa pagtatanong? Eh pare-pareho naman kayo ng pinagdadaanan, right?

Step 5: Submitting All Their Requirements and Contract Signing

Well, you’did it, sis! You’ve gone and landed yourself a job! Time to get moolah! But wait, there’s more....hold your horses for one minute. Your employer is probably gonna require a few things still so be prepared. 

Make sure that during this time, you are healthy and fit coz they’re probably gonna make you undergo a physical exam. For my job, the company shouldered my PE so haha I paid nothing. I had to get examined by a doctor wherein she did the routine things like a breast exam and reviewing my medical history with me. Also, I had to get an Xray, CBC, Urinalysis and Drug testing done so make sure that you drink lots of water before going to the hospital so you can pee easier. And for urinalysis don’t catch the first drops of urine, rather, catch the midstream so that the sample is cleaner and you won’t be positive for pus cells or bacteria. And don’t do the urinalysis if you have your menstruation because you will automatically be positive for RBCs and that’s a big no no. Wait for your menstruation to be over before you do this test. 

Next, you’re probably gonna have to get a work permit coz in the city where your job is located. And how do you get this??? Well, just go to the city hall, pay for the work permit at the treasury department and then get your work permit at the work permit station (just ask the guard where this is located). Don’t forget to bring your cedula coz this is what they require to get a work permit. 

After completing all this shit, you can submit your requirements to your employer and sign the contract! Just make sure to read it carefully. Viola! Job well done to all of us!

Now the hard part starts... training and actually going to work.

[iamliberalartsgt]

HELLO! I hope everyone is having a wonderful spring semester so far! To those of you are new to Tech, this blog, are considering Tech...or blogging...HI! HAPPY TO HAVE YOU! WELCOME! BIENVENUE!

First of all, I am so excited to be back on campus. I’ve enjoyed the brief respite that winter break provided, but being busy and getting back in the swing of things is actually really nice too. I didn’t miss my shoebox dorm room much, but after redecorating my wall (it’s a work in constant progress, I love it) and spending time with my roommate, this is easily amendable.

I am loving catching up with my friends too; I really missed them! I’ve drank a lot of coffee and eaten a lot of Thai food and it’s been wonderful. I’ve attended movie screenings through Georgia Tech (20th Century Women is so good!) and taken new exercise classes at the CRC. I’ve been to parties and brunches and met so many new people that it almost feels I’ve been out to new restaurants in the city and casually saw Anna Kendrick walk into a sushi bar in midtown. (I brag about this whenever possible.)

Finally, it has even been nice to get back to work, back down to business. I’ve started back with my research internship and am currently helping Professor Telotte find examples of science fiction film advertising in pulp magazines from the World World II period.

I am an arts ambassador and am collaborating on a mural with the Women’s Resource Center (one of my favorite places ever). I finally got photoshop on my computer and have been loving messing around on it.

I am also a part of the North Avenue Review, and our magazine is finally here! They’re in stands all around campus and if you like free speech and/or student writing you should definitely check it out! (Ya girl wrote a piece on Hillary and feminism, and my friend DREW the cover!)

And then of course, there are classes. As an LMC, I still SUPER UNFORTUNATELY have to take math, so I’m in Survey of Calculus right now. Never having taken AP Calculus...(yes I am proudly the 5% of Tech students here LOL)...I’m kind of dying. (But PROUDLY!)

I’m also in Spanish 2001, another LMC requirement. I’m having major high school Spanish class flashbacks, complete with workbook activities. But my teacher (Pilkington) is the sweetest lady ever and I don’t get called on too much (my eternal irrational fear) so I can’t really complain.

I’m taking the LMC Seminar class (2050) too, in which we have thus far argued and talked about extremely random but thought-provoking things. Like, people from predominantly oral cultures didn’t have any kind of thought-documentation, so how the heck did they remember anything? What’s the difference between speech and poetry? And is something a remediation if it is altered but remains in the same medium form? Discuss. (We definitely did.)

I am also taking an Intro to Cognitive Psychology class (3012), which is amazingly interesting so far. I MIGHT minor in Psych, so this perfectly fits both a minor and science elective requirement for me. And it’s just dang cool. They needed someone to take notes in class (for a disabled student who may or may not be able to attend), so ya girl applied...and got the gig! I email the notes that I have already been taking after class every day, and at the end of the semester I’ll get paid for it!

Finally, my most favorite class and my most exciting update ever. Last semester I was talking to my friend about how cool it would be if the Major Authors class (at that time a random LMC Literature class on a random class list) was all about Jane Austen. She paused, then thought a minute, then the next day told me that it was. Turns out, her research professor, Dr. Karen Head, taught the class, and she had asked her about it for me. I don’t think I’ve ever signed up for any class that quickly.

So far in my amazingly perfect beautiful Jane Austen class, we have read Northanger Abbey and Lady Susan. Now we are reading Sense and Sensibility (which I have never read before!), and by the end of the semester we will have read them all. We each take turns leading discussions about the books (in pairs, not by ourselves, godbless) and my nerdy fangirl heart is so so at home. After discussions we watch clips from the movie and talk about how the stories have been adapted and retold. It will be so cool at the end of the spring to be able to not only say that I have read all of Jane Austen’s major works, but that I have done it in such a short time period and am able to compare them!

Also, I just really love Jane Austen. And Dr. Karen, she’s freaking amazing. But yeah, go Jane!!!

I’m looking forward to another wonderful semester! I know it will get really hard again soon, but for now I will keep enjoying the things I’ve been and am up to and the people that I get to do them with.

For those of you that I mentioned earlier who may be considering Tech or blogging...it was the right choice for yours truly, so I can’t express how wonderful each of them is enough.