#like damn. these blogs haven't even been up for a FULL YEAR and so much shit has happened. can we REST please

[raystxntz]

(OOC: I've gone back and forth about making this post, to be completely honest. It's not my intention to stir the pot, it's not my intention to exacerbate the situation any more than it already has, and it's not my intention to make people go on a witch hunt against certain blogs or people should they know the identities behind the blogs. But I was also roleplaying with this person for such a long time that I feel the need to step out and make my opinions on what happened known, in the clearest and most concise way possible. Whoever you are, whether you see this post or not, words cannot describe how ASHAMED I am of you. And I'm a tolerant person by nature, so when I say that shit, I fucking mean it.

I respected your writing. I respected the work that you put into crafting your version of Egon, the commitment that you brought to your plots, and the way you were willing to interact with just about anyone. Which is why it appalls me that you would act like this, and why I am deeply, deeply hurt by it.

I understand being protective of your own interpretation of a character. I understand feeling burnt out on something that you're meant to enjoy. I understand all of those feelings. But at some point, you have to realize that this is a fictional character you are playing and that it is literally not that deep. It is not your place to try and gatekeep someone else's interpretation of a character. It is not your place to consistently bring that issue-an issue of your OWN MAKING-to someone who's been struggling through their own mental health issues for quite some time. Don't like something, don't interact with it. That is the bare minimum of interacting with fan content on the Internet, but apparently you couldn't even follow that rule. This person was simply doing what anyone else would do in the same situation--making the most out of a bad situation--and you chose to drag their name through the mud instead, willingly engaging with their blog when you had already proceeded to block them.

And for saying that you care about the community you had fostered, that you cared about your roleplay partners, you sure did have a funny way of showing it. You left people on read when they were trying to communicate with you about big plots. You even did it to ME a handful of times. You made the choice to have your character be so fucking unapproachable in his demeanor towards others that I and SEVERAL OTHERS actually felt fucking INTIMIDATED to DM you about anything. Look me dead in the fucking eyes and tell me that Harold Ramis would have approved a version of his character being so downright SPITEFUL towards those around him. You can't. Don't even fucking TRY to. And for constantly stressing the importance of communication with other rp blogs, YOU are the one who left people hanging more times than I can reasonably count. YOU are the one who came scarily close to GOD-MODDING other people's characters a handful of times.

I wanted to think of you as a friend. I was willing to give you the benefit of doubt so many fucking times. But seeing how you've served to alienate and hurt other people in this community through your actions? I cannot in good conscience condone that kind of behavior.

If you see this post at ANY point, FIX YOUR SHIT. This entire situation was on you to remedy. You and you alone. By dragging other people into this conflict, by dragging people through the mud to try and fix a problem, you've only made it worse for yourself. And I fucking hope that you take a good long look at your actions and fix them for the better after this entire spectacle.

If anyone knows who I'm referring to, or knows the identity behind them, DO NOT witch-hunt. Do not go to their blog, do not send them hateful anons, do not take any action whatsoever that's harmful in any way. I will not be conducting myself in that manner regardless of this post, and I ask others to do the same. I simply wanted to put my feelings down, and let the community at a large know that I do not condone whatever occurred. This is the only post I'll be making on the matter. Thank you.)

[romancerepulsed]

maybe this is a "hot take," but it's something i genuinely believe is true. aphobes can broadly be sorted into 3 categories: the uninformed, the bigot, and the bully. there is overlap between all 3, and i'm sure there are some people out there who are aphobic in a fun new way that i can't possibly conceive of yet, but i think these categories are fairly accurate and helpful for an aspec to recognize.

the uninformed aphobe is what it sounds like– they either don't know anything about the aspectrum or they've been fed false information about it. this is the only type of aphobe that is ever worth engaging with, and only to politely correct them and point them towards resources that would help them broaden their understanding. i'll be completely honest though: you'd be pretty damn lucky if you managed to actually singlehandedly change their mind. if they're not receptive to your corrections, simply move on. it's not worth the headache. you at least gave them something to think about.

the bigot, in contrast, is absolutely never worth engaging with. the bigoted aphobe is aphobic simply because aspec people are queer and they hate queer people. terfs famously used (and still continue to use) aphobic rhetoric as a sort of gateway drug for transphobia. the people who will argue that aspec folks aren't queer are often the same people who despise us because they associate us with queerness.

the third aphobe is actually the most common on this website, i think, and they're the reason i'm making this post. the aphobic bully may know full well the fundamentals of the aspectrum, but they will simplify and misrepresent it on purpose in an attempt to make aspec people look bad. aspec people have long been "acceptable targets" of bullying on this site for a reason that is fairly obvious to me but one i haven't seen anyone else point out: aspec people are largely neurodivergent. it's really no coincidence that ace discourse and cringe culture peaked at around the same time– they were one in the same, and the treatment aspec and autistic people received were (and still are) damn near identical. portraying aspec people as cringey teenagers who watched too many cartoons and are just too socially awkward for anyone to love them or whatever... it's a sentiment thats existed for years and years now. it took me a while to realize it, but this is why so many "tumblr funnymen" and other assorted popular blogs were/are aphobes too– they've got egos the size of china but they know they can't get away with blatantly picking on autistic people. so they'll hide behind a guise of aspec exclusionism, something that's unfortunately viewed as a real and valid ideology for someone to have. even aside from the thinly veiled ableism, bullies are always coming from a place of insecurity and projecting it onto other people. i've found that a lot of the most vicious aphobes are people who are struggling romantically or sexually. you can see them post about it, you can see even in the most recent discourse so many of these people are deeply stressed and hurt from whatever romantic or sexual struggles they're facing. to them, someone being unconcerned with those sorts of things is almost offensive because it means so much to them. they read it as a challenge to their own allo identity. so, why not take out that frustration on the aspecs?

it goes without saying that the bully isn't worth engaging with, either. they want to rile you up because it makes them feel better about themselves. don't give them that satisfaction.

[fohatic]

48-hours shy of six months to the day, tumblr has restored my blog to full functionality (no longer classifying it as "explicit") after a lengthy stint in horny jail.

what does this mean? my blog is now searchable, my posts are no longer hidden under tags, my posts can be linked, i get to have a damn icon + customizable blog page... but perhaps most exciting of all:

I NOW HAVE A WORKING ARCHIVE AGAIN, which means that you can also browse my tags! 🙏 i've just updated my featured tags, so these are easily navigable from my archive (see "tag" pull-down menu at the top). feel free to explore these! highlights include:

my fanfic -> all my fic posts/posts that feature my fics

my edit (see also: manip) -> my manip fanart or contributions to others' posts ("manip" also includes other people's manips, FYI)

fic rec -> fics that i recommend/others recommend that i co-rec

stony -> a big mishmash of fun! (see also: tony stark + steve rogers)

stevecore/tonycore/stonycore -> posts that remind me of them ♥

rdj -> (so much pretty) + chris evans -> (♥)

gorgeous fanart -> the tag i collect a ton of fanart under

yes good -> posts that really "get it" (mostly stony stuff)

writing + fanfiction -> meta stuff!

fave -> the best stuff!

about me -> a gratuitous excess of TMI about yours truly! (in tags)

*IMPORTANT: if you do not want to see potentially nsfw adult content from me, please block the following tags:

nsfk -> "not safe for kids" stuff that's iffy (general safety warning)

porny tag -> stuff that's basically porn

(note that i don't tag stuff "nsfw" bc this can negatively impact the op's account or post visibility; tumblr police are all over this tag)

(gifs via x)

it's been awhile, but it's finally time* to turn up the temperature around here again... 🔥😈

[protip: if you enter the full title of any of my fics in a tag search, you'll likely find some thematically relevant goodness 👌😏]

as always, i'm thrilled whenever anyone goes through and likes/reblogs a bunch of stuff from me -- don't be shy! i'm also open to pretty much any kind of ask (sometimes i don't participate in the chain stuff but it's nothing personal).

one thing i'll ask is that if you do find anything you like on my blog, consider reblogging it from me instead of directly from the op? as a seasoned "blog diver" (🤿🦪💎) who sometimes spends many hours of my actual life scouring the internet for certain posts (which often haven't seen any action in years), i really appreciate when i see even a little spike in my activity feed from these before they start getting circulated again <333

also, i plan to keep using @moon-language-0 as a place to store all my original fanart and fanfic posts for easy access. it's very convenient :)

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hihi! Hope you're doing well.

I just wanna ask some headcanons where Marnie dumps Lewis in favor of Marlon (the better guy she deserves), because I feel bad for her man. And Lewis is too sketchy and weird and Marnie deserves someone who loves her <3

Also, I hope I'm not clogging up your asks. I know how full asks blogs inboxes can get, I just wanna say take your time answering them and don't stress.

Stay hydrated! (Seriously, we're roasting over here in the equator).

Hewwo, dear anon :3 And don't worry about it, you're not clogging up my inbox! Thanks for the wishes, and I hope you're escaping the heat too (we have +20⁰C at the moment, but summer is coming soon and it will be unbearably hot 🥲). Have a good day! 💕

_________________________________________

Yoba witness, Marnie had the patience of a saint and could understand many things. She waited and endured. She waited. And waited some more. And then some more, more, and some more, truly believing Lewis' words of true love for her.

But to be honest.... it wasn't how she'd envisioned "true love".

Hiding in the shadows, pretending nothing was going on between them (even though rumors of their relationship were flying around the Pelican Town)? Watching the mayor come through her window at night so they wouldn't be caught by the locals during the day? Lying to her own niece and nephew that they've heard nothing and there's no one else in the house but the three of them? Justify the dates with business meetings at her ranch?

How long will this last? How much longer do they have to hide each other for fear of "public judgment" (when really everyone has known everything for a long time and they don't give a damn!)

It's spring now - the time of flowers and love, and Marnie has to stand apart from it all. Immersed in sad thoughts of wasted youth and wishing in the past that she could find the one person she would be happy with. Really happy with.

Marnie calculates how much chance she, an old nag, has of finding someone, and sighs conciliatingly, realizing the dire result. Lewis had good qualities and flaws, like every human being, but why he acted like he really are embarrassed by her presence? And why was she herself afraid to say everything she thought about it? Why can't she-

"You look beautiful today, Marnie."

Those words brought her out of the fog of confused thoughts and bad memories. She didn’t realize that she was now at one of the most beautiful festivals in the Stardew Valley - the Flower Dance.

"Huh?...."

Marlon, whose compliment had helped Marnie out of her trance, was a little worried that he'd said the wrong thing. "Are you alright?"

"Uh, yeah...," Marnie added a little uncertainly. "Just... I got a little dizzy from the smell of the flowers." Marlon's emerald eye was perceptive, but still didn't probe his old friend further. 'You look beautiful today, Marnie...' it had been so long since she'd heard those words....

Why should she keep waiting...?

"Say...," Marnie began cautiously, turning her head toward Marlon, "would you like to dance with me?"

Normally the old adventurer's face was stingy with emotion, but Marnie's question caught him off guard. "Are you sure? I haven't danced in over twenty years..." "Neither have I." Marnie was more sure of her own words than ever. "And don't worry, I don't remember much of the moves either. But who knows what will happen tomorrow? Maybe tonight will be the last chance to have some fun?" Why is she lashing out at him? Why is she even trying? How silly of her-

Marlon stood in front of her and extended his hand to her, asking her to dance. "Then I ask for your hand, and let's go have some fun. Just like old times."

To the smooth music, gathering surprised but approving glances from the other dancers and one indignant glance from Lewis, Marnie held Marlon's hands, letting her forget all her problems and troubles. It was as if time itself had stopped. Just him, her, and their dance.

[midfight-artchive]

Hello!! It's been a while and I feel like I should explain why I've been gone for so long despite the blog working on a queue system. The short answer is mental health stuff, the long answer is below.

What's important is that the blog will now officially be on hiatus until further notice. When I come back, I'm going to overhaul how I do things behind the scenes that will hopefully bring more of the archive to you without tiring me out as much. Thank you for understanding, and again a more full explanation is below.

I've been going through probably the worst mental state I've ever been in lately. Nothing to do with the blog itself thankfully, I'm very passionate about this blog and MFM as a whole to this day, but the circumstances I'm currently in make it difficult to run this blog.

You know the saying "it gets worse before it gets better?" I'm basically going through that, fully realizing my traumas and really putting myself under a microscope to pick out what needs to be healed and improved. Things are looking up for me overall, but the amount of mental strain and exhaustion I'm experiencing can't be understated either. (Not to mention the fact that I'm still in the situation that gave me this trauma in the first place, so healing is a little difficult when I'm being retraumatized pretty much constantly... x_x) Said exhaustion makes it very hard to even fill the queue for this blog, let alone have the energy to answer asks or even tag sometimes. It's rough! This blog isn't demanding by any means and it's still too much to even think about. (And I have thought about it a lot!!! I've wanted to come back numerous times but didn't because of the constant fatigue I've been feeling.)

Part of that is because I'm neurodivergent, though, and MFM hasn't been a hyperfixation of mine for YEARS. In fact, I haven't had a solid hyperfixation since about...2019-2020? Since then I've been coasting along on special interests and even my focus on those have lasted shorter and shorter the longer time has gone on. I started this blog way after MFM was in my brainspace full time, which is why it took over a year to even set up. I felt that the premise was more important than my brain's shenanigans, though, so I pushed through and tried my best to keep it up. The sad truth is that I don't think about MFM as much as I used to, and when I do think of them these days it's more of a "damn, I really miss them...." for a few minutes before my brain goes back to whatever it's currently grabbed hold of. It's not my choice, as many people with hyperfixations know, and trust me when I say that if I could keep them in my focus long enough to keep this blog running I would in a heartbeat. The fact that this is comorbid with depression really means I have to scrap for whatever energy I can, and that means focusing on things that actively bring me joy just so I can have enough energy to get out of bed, meaning even a fun side project isn't as possible as I previously thought.

HOWEVER, NOT ALL HOPE IS LOST!!! I've started medication and as I've said, I'm working to better myself. This blog going on the backburner is me taking a break, NOT a cancellation, and when I come back I promise to be better about not disappearing for random stretches of time. :P I can't say exactly when I'll feel well enough to pick this blog back up, but it absolutely will happen.

Thank you all so much for the positive reception to this blog, and I'm looking forward to continue archiving for you all!!

[the-bloody-sadist]

#we don't support peer preasure in this house

Love your hashtag above.

Can I ask how do you deal with hurtful comments on your fanfics from someone you consider a friend? Like I know if some stranger send hurtful comments it felt bad but damn when someone you know said the same thing it felt worse. Early this year I was kicked out and blocked from an animanga lover group when they find out that I wrote mlm fanfics from major shounen series (naruto,bnha, aot, jjk). This what they said :

“I'm convinced you must have never had friends before because all of these relationships are perfect depictions of what PLATONIC friendship is. If you want a gay story support ACTUAL gay couples like in BL & GL manga. Do you know how frustrating it is to see people move mountains for a non canon ship that’ll never happen then ignore actual gay manga’s and anime’s in BL & GL anime/manga...."

What do you think? Even until now, I'm still feeling a bit guilty for liking non canon mlm and wlw ships from shounen series. But when I found your blog and read your posts, I felt way better. Especially that answer of yours to anon who asked is it weird to love mlm& wlw more than wlm. Thanks for sharing your hard work (analysis, fanfics, arts, reviews).

Sorry for my rants and for my weird feelings.....

Ohhhh this is so precious please don't apologize for sending me this ask, I love feelings and hearing about other peoples' experiences with them and how my art/accounts have somehow been relatable because of that.

The peer pressure in fandoms is absolutely insane and convinces me that the social aspect works the same as any high school full of bullies. There WILL be mean girls, there WILL be cliques, and if you're a creator like me, you're going to be a MAGNET for like ten different types of them.

As for how I deal with hurtful comments, I was raised in an environment that constantly shamed me. I was controlled from all sides on what I could draw, write, and consume, so I'm used to being shunned by those who "love" me because of what I'm interested in! Because of this, the hate comments were what I EXPECTED going in and the positive comments were actually the things that threw me for loops. Hurtful comments only had the power to nag at me when I didn't have an audience (or friends) to bounce them off of so they wouldn't keep popping up as a "do I actually do this, though?" "am I actually bad for this?". But now they don't bother me; they give me the chance to either make a troll reply or spice up my friends' group chat for the day.

As far as a FRIEND leaving a hurtful comment??? I have so much sympathy for you. I am SO sorry they treated you that way.

When I make friends, I tell them openly what I do and to what extent. This way, I gather the type of people I want and push away those who don't. If they think it's not okay, they're silly.

Those friends who kicked you out of their little club? SILLY. They think they're so pure and moral for gatekeeping what can and can't be done with creativity and passion. They won't ever know what it feels like to live as freely as you do. In the end, their opinion is an opinion that is largely not shared by the logical, rational public. Any professional in the art/film/writing industry can tell you that much. How else are we supposed to make stories? Have a little IMAGINATION!! DAMN!

I'm saying a lot of this because it's the best thing to tell yourself when you read things that are clearly meant to make you feel shame when you haven't done a single thing wrong. Since this is Tumblr and I can ramble to my heart's content, maybe it'll help you if I also point out the specific tools that have been used in that message they sent you. Sometimes a good breakdown of tactics is all it takes to remind yourself you're not in the wrong.

"I'm convinced you must have never had friends before" AKA "you're so ignorant" - invalidating your experiences to crumble any foundation you might've had to stand on if you wanted to argue back. Starting off with this helps them cut you down so your self-esteem is lowered.

"these relationships are perfect depictions of what PLATONIC friendship is" - their opinion is being stated here as a fact, as if the entire world agrees with them and there's no other way to see it. First of all, this means NOTHING to the shipping world, since it exists largely to turn friendships into romances. Idk what they wanted to do with that one.

"If you want a gay story support ACTUAL gay couples like in BL & GL manga" - I'm not sure what kind of burn that is. SUPPORT ACTUAL GAY COUPLES LIKE THE REST OF US!! Okay snuffledumpkins. Guess nobody taught them how to MULTITASK!!! GUESS WHAT? I CAN SUPPORT ACTUAL GAY COUPLES *AND* NON-CANON GAY COUPLES, FREAK! WHAT NOW, HUH??? Being serious though, this is an attempt to define for YOU what ''''''true gay couples'''''' are (ACCORDING TO THEM), when this is an entirely fluid meaning and can be applied to whomever you'd like in fiction. This is THE PURPOSE OF FANFICTION.

"Do you know how frustrating it is to see people move mountains for a non canon ship that’ll never happen then ignore actual gay manga’s and anime’s in BL & GL anime/manga...." AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! (inhales) AAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH imagine being so stupid that you don't know how much better LGBT representation can be in fanfiction and non-canon works than in actual BL/GL works. Imagine thinking that the only way you are allowed to enjoy BL/GL relationships is through canon couples, otherwise you're not helping the cause. Here's the biggest thing to remember: they don't give a fuck about the cause. They are using that language as a way to shame you. Oh you think these friends are in love??? You must not support LGBT people in real life. You must not support ACTUAL stories about ACTUAL gay people.

The logic jump is LAUGHABLE.

Ughhhh, what a long rant from me. But your last paragraph absolutely WARMED my heart, minus the part about feeling guilty. Let me just...[shines spotlight down on you][metal screech][picks up megaphone] YOU ARE NOT IN THE WRONG FOR WANTING FICTIONAL FRIENDS TO FICTIONALLY FUCK EACH OTHERS' BRAINS OUT!!! YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THIS MATTER, HOWEVER, ARE VERY UNDERSTANDABLE AND SHOULD NOT BE INVALIDATED, BECAUSE BULLYING IS A DIFFICULT THING TO DEAL WITH AND CAUSES VERY COMPLICATED FEELINGS REGARDLESS OF WHAT IS RIGHT OR WRONG. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON AND YOUR FICTIONAL PREFERENCES DO NOT DEFINE YOU. BE FREE, LITTLE BIRDIE! SHIP THE MASSES OF BOYS AND GIRLS IN RELATIONSHIPS THAT ANIME LOVES TO TEASE ON PURPOSE WITHOUT ACTUALLY FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH A ROMANCE SUBPLOT BECAUSE THEY'RE COWARDS!!!! THEY CAN BE ACTUAL GAY COUPLES TOO! BECAUSE YOU SAID SO! AND THAT'S OKAY!!!!

[puts the megaphone down][coughs]

I hope that helps. :D Thank you for the ask, and much love to you! It means a lot that you appreciate my work and my analyses and my opinions enough to ask me about such a painful subject.🖤

You are, in fact, quite normal for your opinion, and my entire audience would agree.

[vintagelacerosette]

Tag game Tuesday/picrew catch up!

Oh how I've missed doing these! Thank you so much to these sweetpeas who tagged me to do these tag games/picrew. Lyle @milkovetti Michelle @michellemisfit Bri @y0itsbri Evie @energievie Julia @juliakayyy Georgia @iansw0rld Kat @mybrainismelted Nosho @creepkinginc Cross @crossmydna Willow @ian-galagher Lyds @ardent-fox Vey @look-i-love-u Molly @deathclassic Jay @surviving-maybe 💕

💟Name: Myn/Shermyn

#️⃣Age: 27

🗺️Location: Sydney

🧥Do you own a robe? Describe it. Yeah a pink silky with lace trim one my older sister gifted me as my maid of honour gift 🥰

☕️Do you have a favorite mug? Describe it. Why yes! It's one of my prized possessions! My Gallacrafts mug I made art with the darling & talented Ling @lingy910y

🧣Do you have a favorite blanket? Describe it. You know I don't think I do & that's tragic 😔

🍵Coffee or Tea? Tea

↳🔥🧊Hot or Cold? Cold it's been so damn humid & dry in Sydney rn 😓

🧦Fuzzy socks or Wool socks? Wool

🧤Gloves or Mittens? Gloves but the fingerless kind so I can scroll/read fics on my phone lol

🔥Fireplace or Campfire? Fireplace

🌞🌜Sun or Moon? Both baby! They work in tandem to give us life ☀️🌙

🍬Chocolate candy or Sugar candy? Sugar 🍭

🥐Sweet Pastry or Savory Pastry? Sweet

🎃Peppermint or Pumpkin Spice? Peppermint. I haven't had pumpkin spice before

🛏️Go to bed early or Wake up early? Wake up early but i don't sleep early to make the happen 🥲

🥣Cold cereal in milk or Hot oatmeal? Cold cereal in milk I especially love the sweet ones. American cereal certainly hit the spot with their cinnamon toast crunch or lucky charms 🤤

🍞Potatoes or Bread? 🥔

And Finally…

🚬 Gallagher or Milkovich? It'll have to be MIlkovich even tho objectively the are more terrible ones than good. But to be fair the great stole my fucking heart 💖

Picrew

Which character from any media would you like to have as a father? 

I think Johnny Rose from Schitt's Creek would be a funny dad plus loaded 🤣

If money, laws, time, and effort were no object, what animal would you want to have?

I'd love an otter omfg they're so damn cute 😭

What is your Chinese takeout order? 

Sweet & sour pork & spinch noodle with wild mushrooms.

What's your favorite emoji?

🥹 I'm particularly fond of this one bc it's the marvelling of beauty for me

Would you rather have a library, greenhouse, or home theater in your house?

I think greenhouse. I think would be so soothing & I feel like I need more plants in my life hahaha

What childhood tv show do you think of the most fondly?

Cardcaptor Sakura 🌸

What was your tumblr like when you first joined?

I joined 2012 it was so aesthetic & I wished be one of those vintage aesthetic blogs hence my tumblr name lmao. I kinda got confused & scared how to use it so i stopped for 2 years. So i missed out all the fun drama i guess lol. Then I started using it as like a scrapbook of things I liked hahah

What clothing style do you love but don't feel compelled to replicate yourself?

50s but I feel that would be such an effort to pull off

If you were plopped into a fictional world, which one would you know the layout of the best?

Pokemon but like in the switch games. I've been playing too much instead of sleeping lmao

What is your favourite piece of art? 

Idk if I have a favourite but one that impacted me in high school was a piece called 'Atomic: full of love, full of wonder' by Nike Savvas. Funny thing is that I got to see it in person may 2 or 3 years after seeing it in a high school text book & having to do essays on it. It was by complete accident & I had no idea see was displaying her work in our national art gallery. It was magic to see a piece irl after studying it 🥰

Do you have a water bottle? what does it look like?

My bestie jusr got me this steel pink hello kitty tumblr that was a collab with a bubble tea shop! I love it I take it to work 💖

What fanfic trope is a quiet fave?

I think time travel with younger selves meeting their older selve & seeing how they fot their happy ending 🥰

Do you carry a daily bag? what does it look like? what's the weirdest thing in it?

Yeah a carry bag for work. It's this tote bag another bestie got me for my last birthday. It's really cute. It's pink & mint green with a cluster of cute things like teddy bear.

If you had to ship Mickey with another Gallagher, who would it be?

Respectfully no ❤️

What is a fanfic trope you didn't expect to like and then very much did?

I'd say mafia au especially bc of the amazing fic by Kay/Shamelessquestions, The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Ian Gallagher.

Do you think s11 Mickey can still carry s11 Ian?

He sure could! He's our swol lil man

Look at them guns!!

Who got custody of the killing bat when they sold the house?

I kind have this tie between Fiona getting it or it being passed to Liam & Franny to keep the legacy going

Not tagging any bc I'm late but if you see this & you want to go ahead starlight 🩷

[desceros]

So I'm this anon... (And this is gonna be long and a little sappy because it's like 4:40am-ish as I'm writing this, I'm so sorry, I wouldn't have the confidence otherwise):

"I gotta know, gotta ask- HOW do you write the way that you do?? How does one get to that point? I've been wanting to write fanfics for awhile now, but I don't know where to start, and just... do you have any advice at all for beginners? Because you're like... really good at what you do!!"

-Except I finally made a blog to keep my interests anonymous, and while I feel scared still (I am like... an overly ashamed person over interests and such), I want to get over it.

Just wanted to say that like... I had already liked your writing before, but I had been trying to stay away from Symphony at least until there was more written... I caved and read it all today because of the asks you've been getting, finishing up just like thirty minutes ago at 4:30am because restless nights. And I just wanna say that like... the feelings I'm having right now are certified crazy. I feel empty but like... so, so full all at once?? I spent the last few chapters of reading crying (So much so that I had to stop a few times just to see), only to realize that I was picturing everything in my head that I was reading. Vividly, or as much so as I can, with my imagination being more... vibes than anything, anymore. Like, settings and everything are easy. Feelings like rain and stuff too. But I haven't been able to picture things this vividly, haven't been able to focus so intently on reading and just reading... since early high school at the least?? Well over five years ago. It's a feeling that I've craved desperately, to sink into a different world and just exist there... and it's not the same that it used to be, but it made me cry all the same, to have even a fraction of that feeling back.

And I mean, a lot can be said about me as a person that a fucking tmnt fanfic (More like a few tmnt fanfics) gets me back into a headspace that I've been chasing for literal, actual years, but I think it's more an indicator of the intensity and thought behind your writing than anything. It feels silly, but like... reading what you write feels like a gift to me, just for the fact that I can get even a slight bit of the magic of reading back, something I have truly, wholly missed for so long. Even more so because I want to write again, to finally, actually write- Which... I mean it's the internet and I'm not gonna trauma dump, just... It's important for me to say, important to me that I specify. I've lost these feelings, the ability to focus on reading, and been unable to write, among other things, due to a lot of trauma. And the fact that I'm getting this back almost solely because of you, it means so much to me, and it wouldn't feel right not to say it.

As silly and cheesy and sappy as it feels... just... genuinely thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for being so unafraid to be yourself and do what you do, pouring so much time and thought into the things you enjoy. It really, truly inspires others to do the same, and it inspires me to be less shameful, less apologetic about myself and my interests, and more brave. I'm gonna wrap this up before I write you a fucking novel though (Especially because it's past 5am as I'm wrapping this up, and I'm not doing so well- definitely didn't spend 30 minutes on this...), just like... I don't know. I had to get this out of my system. You're great, super, super great. I'm afraid I haven't articulated my thoughts well enough, but if I mull them over forever, I'll get too scared to send this. And if I start writing again, when I start writing again because damn it I will, I want you to know it's almost singlehandedly thanks to you, as well as the rest of the lovely tmnt fandom.

(Again I'm so, so sorry for the length and sappiness omg I swear I have a sense of shame and will be embarrassed after adequate rest... Gonna go hide in my hole now)

puts my hands on your shoulders. looks you in the eyes. i am. So Proud Of You.

first. let me say that i am really. just insanely aware that admitting that youve been in a dark place and moving out of it is a difficult, difficult thing to talk about. it’s a difficult place to be. it’s like. an advanced performance of humanity in a way. reaching into your own brain and scooping out the parts that don’t make you happy anymore. it’s so. so hard. important. valuable. life-changing. but hard.

and i’m proud of you for doing it. i’m?? so amazingly touched??? to know that i had any hand in that. holy shit. sick. but my part in this is small, even if it doesn’t feel that way to you right now. you’re the one doing all the hard, difficult work. and i’m rooting for you!!!

i know there’s a lot of stigma against ‘trauma dumping’ and for good reason. but i also think it’s important to be able to open yourself up and discuss the vulnerabilities you feel. that’s how humans are meant to heal our souls. with one another, hand in hand. i hope sending this made you feel better. i hope reading my response will make you feel better. i hope you are able to find that place of healing. i’ve been there myself and it’s—it’s nice. being able to feel things again.

be unashamed. be unafraid. let your heart grasp the things that bring you joy. write the things that make you happy. chase your light and bottle it for the days when things feel dark again.

thank you so much for such a lovely ask. it really made my day and brought me so much joy and happiness. may that now turn upon you threefold 🌸

[random-introverted-blog]

Introvert, Introvert, Introvert. Where are you?

Well, let's see. Do you have a day or two to kill?

First and foremost: none of the stories are dead. I'm back to actively writing HS-HQ. Flickers, I plan on fully involving my bestie on in all parts of the process. She is wonderful and working on her own story To Defy The God's and all you Shadowheart girlies should absolutely check it out. So damn good 😳😩.

I'm also building a new Shadowheart x OC story, which includes a Durge x Astarion. It's called Estranged and I can't wait to share more. This one has been my baby for the last 3-4 months and I'm stupid proud of how fleshed out the details and lore are for the OC, including their backstory and how it interacts with the main game.

That said; the last few months haven't been easy.

At the end of April, I was mentally preparing for June. June is the busiest month at my job. No days off, 11-13 hour days, super stressful workload, the whole nine yards and then some. I had about 2k words for Chapter 11 of HS-HQ but I wasn't really enjoying it, and I got stuck. And that combined with the impending stress, the blog took a backseat.

I can not stress to you how much I hate June at my work. Anything would be preferable to working that many hours. Overtime pay in my state is a legal requirement, so it's not like that's even a big deal. They have to pay me for it. But even with the pay, I miss so many family events, opportunities, life in general in June.

Trigger warning: self harm/Dark humor

And the lead up to June this year I was saying I would rather play in traffic, stab my hand with my box cutter, break my foot, jump off the roof, anything except work another June (this was my third June).

My (other) bestie even offered to run over my foot with her car and I considered it, honest to God.

Where am I going with this?

Ahem.

End of Trigger Warning

Ladies, gentleman, and gentlefolk.

'Twas the night before Monday, June 10th, about 11pm. I had just gotten a new A/C for my room. My old one had given up the ghost many moons ago and was just window dressing at this point. The new one I had was a portable, not a window one. But I needed one short notice for the heat wave we were suffering and, as I mentioned, June is a busy month. What sleep I could get, I didn't want to spend just trying to sleep in my hot, wooden panel bedroom.

How this situation came to be, I won't explain, but I wound up carrying my old A/C unit out of my bedroom and down the stairs to get it outside and in the front yard. The goal was to get it out of the house and deal with it later.

I'm a 5 foot, 3 inches lady and I'm not a twig. The A/C, although more bulky than heavy, was still manageable for me to lift. I couldn't see my feet, and that was the only significant problem.

And it was the only one that mattered 😌.

I'm on the last 4 of 15-ish steps and my foot decides it too, would like to give up the ghost.

Did I think I was closer to the bottom than I was? Probably. Did I think "fuck, I'm dead, this is how I die, this thing is going to crush me"? Also probably.

My mom was behind me. And apparently my head hit the dry wall too, but I don't remember that. My body slid down the rest of the stairs. I land at the bottom and my foot is sore. A/C landed on my stomach, but honestly, only a cut or two was visible on my legs. My foot was swollen something ugly and bruised, but eh, whatever.

Until I tried to stand up.

That's right, ladies, gentleman and gentlefolk.

Following an ER visit at 1 am and a doctor's appointment, my foot/ankle was undeniably shot. I couldn't put weight on it if my life depended on it.

I still can't fully walk right/normal on my foot, but I think that's because I've spent about 2-3 weeks wearing a boot and my foot isn't at full strength.

With that said, I am back; I am alive, and I will be sharing what I've been working on relatively soon. Such as the new story, Estranged...

And a little something called

Ahem.

His Star - His Queen Chapter 11 teaser?

This chapter is going to be shorter, just to get back in the saddle and reestablish myself. The first major blow to my writing schedule was writer's block. I knew what I wanted, but not how to get there, and it killed me. So Chapter 11 has been gutted more than once.

Normally, every two chapters we switch POVs, but for some reason, I got stuck on Astarion's. And in all honesty, I think you guys/gals/pals are more interested in seeing what's happened to yourselves [Tav] than the shenanigans Astarion and Jester have gotten themselves into. So we'll check in on how you guys are handling the maestros composition of his masterpiece...

P.s: I'll try and respond to my inbox, comments and DM's later tomorrow night, I've seen and heard all of you, including on AO3.

[witchern]

if you wouldn’t mind, may i ask how you got into your career? did you get a degree in it, what is your degree? how long did it take you to progress in the field?

totally disregard this if it’s too much! i just noticed your about and i’ve followed you for awhile and im a bit interested in the field you’re in!

omg of course, i don't mind at all! i actually kinda love talking about it – i'm the type of loser who genuinely likes their career (even though you WILL still see me bitching about the stupid aspects of it lmao).

under a cut because i am apparently incapable of shutting up!!

so i actually kinda fell into this line of work out of desperation lmao. i was originally trying to get a job in book publishing after i graduated college which is, like....notoriously difficult to break into. so after struggling for so damn long, i was at my wit's end when i had a thought like, "well, i grew up using social media. i'm on it all the time. i know how it works. lemme see if i can finagle this into a resume."

and then somehow it fucking worked??? i saw a job posting looking for a social media person to work specifically on this one company's twitter and tumblr accounts. yes, they were on tumblr. in 2016. and they needed someone who knew how it worked and how to run a blog. i was the only terminally online loser who fit the bill, and that's literally how i got started.

as far as degrees go, i majored in creative writing. social media degrees/studies were only JUST getting off the ground when i graduated, so it wasn't much of a thing back then. everything i know was either self-taught or learned via the WONDERFUL community of social media managers i've found over the years. there are SO many people who work in this field who are eager to help each other out, because the irony of it all is that it's.....kind of an isolating job? even though you're basically the frontline/mouthpiece of the company, your coworkers tend to forget about you. i've been left out of whole entire marketing meetings because they figured they could just hand me a pile of random content with ZERO context and i'd just be able to magically piece everything together by myself. so it's nice to have a community of folks that have been through the same struggles and can act as a shoulder for you to lean on when things get frustrating. and yeah, if i ever have a question about anything – from "what's a reasonable salary range for this position" to "what the fuck is going on with the instagram algorithm today" – someone will always answer.

and as for job progression, it's funny – when it comes to the actual job function, i haven't really "risen" up the ranks that much, but i LIKE it that way! i don't want to be a manager or anything like that – i really do love being the person who gets to dream up the content, write the captions, film the videos (sometimes), and figure out the best ways to share them. i've worked at 4 different companies since 2016 and by total coincidence, at each company i was the first person they'd ever hired to run social media as a single entity, rather than just handing it off to an employee who already had a full-time job of their own. so that means i also get to set all the benchmarks and design all the platform strategies from scratch – which sounds daunting but again, i'm the kind of loser who finds that shit fun lmao. it's partly creative and partly analytical, so it never gets boring.

ANYWAY yeah, can you tell i love chatting about this stuff lmao. it started out with me bullshitting my way into that first job by being like "i've been terminally online since 2009, please hire me" and now i actually DO know what i'm doing. kind of nuts!! i love it lol 💕

[cryptidsurveys]

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2024.

Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music? Not my taste in music as a whole. Just one band.

What’s your favorite season of the year? Autumn with winter as a close second.

Do you have pop-tarts in your house right now? No.

Is anyone’s birthday coming up? No, but my mom just had her birthday about a week ago.

Does someone owe you over twenty dollars? No. However, they do want to start compensating me for some of the volunteer work I do at the shelter because I'm there so damn often. I was like, "no, seriously, it's fine; just let me have an occasional cupcake and I'm good, lmao." But today one of the managers came in and gave me what basically amounts to a staff pass to the fundraising event coming up later this week (equivalent of 40$)…I forget whether it's on Thursday or Friday, but I'm going to try to go to that. I had planned on attending last year, but I was sick. :'(

Do you remember who you liked in grade eight? Yeah.

When was the last time you burned any part of your body? I burned my mouth a bit on some coffee/oatmeal the other day.

Have you ever overflown a bathtub? No. But the drain tab (or whatever you call it…?) for our tub is broken, so we just stick it down with a bit of duct tape. The faucet leaks a bit sometimes, and sometimes the duct tape will come loose, and…yeah. I've come home to a couple of close calls. There's a sort of secondary/emergency drain thing, so it probably wouldn't completely overflow, but...!!!

Are you dressing up for Halloween this year? No.

Have you ever called somebody dollface? I don't think so.

If I gave you ten dollars, what would you spend it on? Probably groceries. There's nothing special I really want to buy.

Have you ever thrown food at a stranger in a movie theater? No.

What are you most excited about right now? How much time I've put in at the shelter lately, and how well my body has been holding up. Over the past seven days, I've completed three full days (Thurs, Sun, Mon) and two half days (Fri, Tues). I'd have to add up the hours, but I think I'm at or approaching full-time.

Does / did either of your parents serve in the military? Yeah. My dad was in the Air Force.

Are you somewhat of a perfectionist? I'm like a failed perfectionist. I try so hard to get things right, but I'm always messing up something.

Do you like sour candy? It's alright, but it's not my favorite. I tend to prefer chocolate over sour/sweet candies.

Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? A lot would depend on my partner, our circumstances, etc, but I would love to go on a bit of an extended backpacking trip along the Colorado Trail. If not that, then maybe a trip to Japan.

Do you have Verizon? Yeah.

Are all nighters something you have grown used to? Nooo.

Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? I often wear them in the morning, but I don't tend to need them in the afternoon/evening. It also kind of depends on the time of year/angle of the sun.

Do you wear your shoes around the house? No. I have slippers for inside.

Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers? Not really. Even when it's hot out, I still prefer hot showers.

What clothes are you most comfortable in? Sweatpants and big baggy hoodies.

Is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? I still experience shame, but I'm most comfortable with my dad and therapist. I feel like I can tell them both pretty much anything.

What has changed most about you in the past year? At this point, I feel like it would be easier to list the things that haven't changed. This was a really transformative year for me, in a good way.

Are you good at painting nails? I wish.

Smoothies or slushies? Smoothies.

Are you good at filling silence in awkward situations? No.

Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? I do love veggies, especially salads, but I couldn't live off of them.

Elaborate on a way you have volunteered? That's basically what this whole survey blog is about, lmao - the progression of my volunteer experience.

Do you use a full length mirror daily? Yeah, or pretty close to daily, anyway.

Can you walk in heels, or do you feel awkward in them? No.

Any TV shows you sit down weekly to watch? I don't watch TV.

Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partners? I don't have a sex life atm.

Even if you don’t like politics, do you still have opinions on the issues? I'm not a very political person, but yeah, sometimes I still have opinions. And sometimes I don't; either because I just don't care, or because I simply don't know enough about a certain topic to form a meaningful opinion…which could also technically fall under "not caring" because I haven't bothered to better inform myself. (shrug)

Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Just my water bottle, but I don't think that really counts.

Do you ever actually make your bed? I wash my bed-stuff weekly, so I make it then, but otherwise not really. I might fix it up a bit if I feel like it, but that's about it.

Do you make an effort to eat healthy? Yeah. Not an obsessive effort, like I still allow for various indulgences, but I try to do a decent job.

How are things between the person you like / love / are with? N/a.

Where did you sleep last night? At home, in my bed.

The last time you kissed someone, what color of shirt were they wearing? I have no idea.

What kind of booze did you last take shots of? I'm not sure…maybe rum…?

What’s something you want to purchase next time you’re at the mall? There isn't anything. I'm not even all that interested in visiting the mall.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah.

If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Maybe Fifty Dollar Dynasty. Not because they're my favorite band ever or anything like that (although I do like their music), but I originally found out about them through their podcast (Brothers of the Serpent) and really came to love their silly personalities, so it's…idk, I guess it's more personal?

If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret? The money.

Are you taller than your mom? Hmm, am I now…? She used to be taller than I am, but both of my parents have shrunk a bit as they've aged, so…I'll have to pay attention the next time I see her.

Have you ever been around someone who was high? Yeah.

Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? Mornings.

Think back to June. Were you in a relationship? No.

What’s so special about what you’re wearing? It's comfy.

Do you have any ‘naughty’ photos on your phone? No.

What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? Volunteering.

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? Because we're not in contact/on good terms anymore…?

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? No.

What do you miss the most about your past? I miss backpacking trips with my dad. It's at the point now where I don't think we'll ever be able to go on another one. :'(

When is the next time you will kiss someone? I have no idea.

Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah.

Plan on getting drunk or high tonight? No. I haven't been drunk/high for a long time.

In the past week, have you cried hysterically? No.

Do you think you’ll actually live a happy life with somebody? I guess it's possible.

Are you on birth control? No.

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No.

Last time you were really happy? Now. It's mixed with all kinds of other complicated/contradictory emotions, but I'm probably the happiest I've ever been.

Do you tend to fall for players? No.

Have you ever asked a boy for advice? Yeah.

Are you wrapped in a blanket? No.

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? Pretty close.

Have you spoken to your mother today? Father? I haven't spoken to my mom, but I have spoken to my dad.

[syyskirjat]

Sueños de piedra (ch2)

Still not sure if I'll read this whole book but I decided already that I want to at least read this one because I'm curious about what Lynne's deal is (especially having confirmed that she is indeed the "damsel in distress" who is haunted by her past)

(Her past being murder, apparently)

I'm hoping the magician/wizard character Hasan shows up too, I'd like to find out about him while I'm at it

I didn't mention this in the last post, but the chapters have these little ornaments at the beginning before the name of the POV character (the chapters are otherwise unnamed, it's like ASOIAF). Arthmael's was a crown, similar to the crown on the book cover but just tilted on its side and with an organic pattern behind it. This one seems to be coins. Is it specifically three coins? Maybe!

I remember seeing the full dust jacket design of the book having coins on the back cover, maybe these are the same coins

Three coins here too, so maybe the number is significant

The other thing of note here are the two figures on the coins, who are they? To me it looks like two princes facing each other, one maybe older than the other? This seems too early for them to have had time to mint new coins showing both Jacques and Arthmael so idk if it can be them? But maybe? This chapter could take place at a later date or something, I have no idea.

Or it could be the king and Arthmael, that would make sense.

(Sorry, this is how I blog about books, I pay too much attention to the details sometimes)

Anyways, onto the actual chapter!

...

.....

....... Welp

Okay this is going under the cut immediately

(Do we need a content warning already? I think we might, but I don't know how to word that exactly. In any case NSFW)

ETA: Yes we doooooooo, we do need content warnings: human trafficking, forced sex work, both involving a minor, including a scene with the victim and her victimiser having sex, physical abuse, also just straight up sexual assault towards the end

Lord Kenan collapses onto my naked body with one last grunt of pleasure. I feel his sweat sticking to the skin of my back and his hands still grip my hips tightly. I can only stare at the sheets, waiting for the moment when he pulls back once and for all and lets me move again. Let me leave your side. Let me be free, this time forever. Tonight was my last night. This will be my last time. Or so I want to convince myself.

Okay reading ahead, it sounds like Lynne is a sex worker, so I guess that's the context of the coins? Oh boy...

Lord Kenan is apparently not the worst client but clearly not her favourite either.

... Oh but he does hit her sometimes if she doesn't show enough enthusiasm, okay

Alright then.

Fourteen years. At fourteen years old he brought me to this damned place. On nights like this, I wonder how I've lasted so long.

Oh it's getting worse, great

I'm no longer excited about this chapter xD

Also I guess Lord Kenan is not a client then but a pimp?

Kenan likes them weak, submissive and sweet. Full of attention for him. I stopped being sweet a long time ago, although perhaps I have never stopped being weak. Maybe that's why I haven't run away yet. Because I'm afraid that what's outside is worse than what's here. But that's over.

Okay okay, realistically this chapter is gonna be her escaping right? Is Lord Kenan the guy she kills or did she already kill someone else? Are we about to witness a murder? I would not be opposed to it

His serious look makes me tense in my seat as he gets ready. His blue eyes have always been icy, although he often tries to melt them with the false warmth with which he treats all of us prostitutes, to make us feel that we are in a good place even if we live in hell.

He tells her that she's their most precious jewel and hopes that she's not boring their customers and then kisses her possessively. She finally snaps and says she's going to leave.

She also randomly starts wondering how old she is, I kinda feel like I might have missed something there, why she's bringing that up right now. But the point is that she thinks she's somewhere between fifteen and twenty.

He seems to think she just meant leave the room to see other customers but she clarifies that she means leaving the brothel entirely, for good.

His hand grabs my face again before I can do anything to stop it. Only this time it's not abrupt. It's sweet, tender. And that's almost worse than the violence he often uses. When he does this, when he smiles, when he caresses me as if he really cared for me, the more dangerous he is.

btw I'm skipping a lot of the details here, I'd just rather not djkghglkj

What is the alternative for a girl like you out there? Without property, without family, without money… You will do the same, charging less adn in any alley. Besides, that would be so ungrateful, Lynne… Who took you out of need when you were a bony, lost child, a thief who couldn't even put more than a couple of crumbs a day in her mouth?

They've had this talk before and Lynne has always caved in the end out of fear and shame but this time she decides to stay strong

But I'm not going to let it scare me this time. No. I can do great things. If I try hard, I can be the owner of my life. I can start my own business, just like my father once did, before he died. Maybe not in Silfos, where women don't have options, and much less will I have them, having been a prostitute. But Marabilia is a large continent: I will look for them in other countries and, if I don't find them, I will travel to other continents if necessary. I have heard that beyond our seas a woman can be anything she wants to be.

Okay so there might be other continents in this world where women have more opportunities, enough so that the people in Marabilia are aware of this, noted.

lmao, I fully thought this was an island not a continent. I swear the map looked so small! I think it's the style, with the towers and trees and mountains drawn individually, but of course they don't actually have to be to scale, I realise

Anyway, I'm now wondering if the title of the book is metaphorical and refers to the aspirations of the main characters? Not sure what the stone would symbolise, but it would make sense, especially with the dedication as well. Dreams definitely seem to be a theme

Lord Kenan mocks her and thinks she wants to find a wealthy husband to save her, asks her doesn't she already know what all men are like, having seen them visit her, etc.

In her mind she basically agrees that all men are like that but she doesn't want a man or a family

I don't aspire for anyone to love me. I don't aspire to love anyone either. Maybe I couldn't do it even if I wanted to, because I forgot a long time ago what it was like to feel affection.

Well rip

— Oh, little flower! Have you learned so little? Have I taught you that badly? Do you really have hope for something like that? I'm afraid you've read too many stories from exotic countries across the ocean. Here women are not queens, nor do you have rights beyond giving birth to our children. You are worthless without a man to protect you. And who is going to protect you if I don't?

Okay we're clearly not gonna be very subtle

She insists that she's going to leave and goes to put on her clothes but he assaults her and rapes her again, but she reaches under the pillow and stabs him with a dagger.

— I told you I was leaving here, I whisper to him. I open the window. I don't even look at Kenan again. I don't even worry about how long he will agonize until he finally gives up and dies. Arming myself with courage, I take the leap towards my freedom.

End of chapter two.

Ooookay. To be honest that went pretty much exactly how I expected it to go after finding out that Kenan was her pimp and not just a client.

I wonder if he's actually a lord or is that just his nickname? The consequences of the murder would definitely depend on whether he's an actual nobleman or just a random pimp.

Buuut yeah, idk, didn't enjoy this chapter so much ngl xD I much preferred making fun on Arthmael. But I guess it's over now so... idk, maybe I'll read at least one more

I do kinda have a hunch that this book is not gonna be my thing, but to be fair it hasn't really started yet

[thepetiteninja]

Welcome to 2024

Hello again!

My most recent post was from 4 years ago. And so much had happened since, so I guess it's time for another update. I'm writing this for me who will be reading this entry after a few years, maybe when I remember to dig up my old tumblr account again just because I felt like reminiscing.

So anyway, I'm turning thirty this year. That hasn't sunk yet because more than anything — I'm getting married this year too. It's still to the guy I have been writing about years before. We're turning 9 years this 2024, and are tying the knot this October. He proposed to me two years ago. On top of the Singapore Flyer, 11.11.22. Damn, what a date.

But the past few years weren't all about butterflies and happiness. These past few years were actually some of the worst ones of my life so far. I'm in debt. But fortunately on a good payment plan now that I haven't missed. I risked a really good job to pursue hosting full time — that only lasted for 3 months. Then shifted industries because I wanted to still give myself a chance. And so now I'm still hosting but for e-commerce livestreams. Got promoted twice in a year. I'm now a trainer. But I still do copywriting on the side because it makes good money. At least now I've flipped it up. Doing my passions full time then writing on the side. I'm tired though, to tell you the truth.

Mind-wise, I'm confident. I know what I can bring to the table and what I'm capable of. I don't second guess myself too much now. I still work hard and multi-task. I know my worth. I know my strengths. I learned my lessons well. I've been through difficult times and now I've gained stability. I know I'm ready to fly. In a smarter, more mature way.

Life-wise could be better. Because the wedding is right around the corner, everything I'm earning is being poured to it. So you can say I'm still living paycheck to paycheck after all the great things I take pride on. I'd like to think I've planted a lot of seeds that I'm just waiting to harvest soon. Hopefully the wedding turns out great, so I could finally enjoy the fruits of my labor completely. To be honest tonight, dinner was just a pack of pancit canton and cup noodles. It's petya de peligro and I don't know where to get tomorrow's fare to work. But I'll get by. After a day, salary's gonna come. I really hope it gets so much better soon.

So these things, y'know. It's entirely great but minutely terrifying. And every single time God proves to me that there's guidance from above. You won't believe how many conveniently unexpected blessings I've gotten over the past tumultuous years. I can't even comprehend how I've weathered through all the moments I worried about. But I'm here, sitting on my couch, safe, satiated, typing whatever comes to mind. It's these reflective, peaceful pauses that makes you realize that despite the chaos, I'm actually okay. Barely breathing but pushing on.

I'd like to think future me who would be reading this somehow, someday, would look at me and say: "just wait, it's going to be better". Because I would be saying the same thing to myself who started this blog 10+ years ago. It had gotten so much better. Crazier, but better. I wish future me would say, "babe, we're a millionaire". But more importantly would love her to say, "we still love what we do". No matter what that looks like.

So there. I think that's an ample update about how I am now. And hopefully in a few years tumblr would still be here so I'd be able to read all this again. It's a good self-therapy shit. And also I just missed writing my thoughts like this.

Ok, I'm just rambling now. Until the next update!

[ravelengths]

28

Life is weird.

I always find myself coming back to this blog at strange times, moments of nostalgic melancholy, periods of reflection. It is freshly a new year, so I suppose it's an appropriate time to reflect like this. There's just something odd about me coming here this time. I guess I just wanted to add another chapter to this saga. I suppose I want to share to myself what I've learned, express my thoughts as of late.

So here I am, a boy in a man's body. A boy who has navigated a great deal of confusion and pain in my time on Earth. A boy who has grown significantly, and has learned a lot, but still just feels like.. a boy. It's funny to see that I ended the last entry saying that "I have finally entered adulthood". Its funny to think that, for the first time, younger me was right about something. I pretty much hit the nail on the head.

In the time since my last entry, I have continued to work my same job, in which I have attained some pretty noteworthy credentials. I pushed myself to learn something new, pass some difficult exams, and gain some notoriety within my company. The kind of stuff I would have never imagined 5 years ago. I transferred to a location closer to home, and even got promoted to a leadership role, which pays me a wage that most people without college degrees or vocational school dream of earning. I'm so proud of myself for getting to where I am.

I'm still in the same relationship, going on 7 years now. And things couldn't be better. We bought a house together, another thing that I couldn't have dreamed of doing even a few years ago. Hell, it's still hard to believe that we were able to do it. And it's been almost a year now. And to complete the picture, we found a kitten in the car lot behind our house a few months after moving in. I was nervous to have a pet at first, but after a week we decided to get him a little brother. :) Some friends of ours found a full litter of kittens right after we found our little guy, and we wanted him to have a buddy to play with to expel all the energy he had. It's been amazing. I never knew the kind of joy simply having an animal to care for could bring. It has tremendously helped my mental health.

Along with all this, I've been a lot more active with my hobbies, at least when I'm not working (which is quite a lot). I've become a decent mechanic, I make music a lot more, and I've been getting into circuit bending and live visual art. It's been a helpful deterrent from drinking and such, as I find that I am much more focused and driven if I haven't drank in a week or more. But I'm not perfect. I've gone about a year now without smoking weed, but drinking a couple times a week is still my crutch it seems. It's much easier to go without for periods of time now, but I just can't seem to give it up completely. God knew I'd be too powerful if I wasn't an addict.

I guess I really am an adult. I work full time for the city, have a big house with my beautiful girlfriend with 4 cars in the driveway, and two sweet but demonic young cats waiting for me when I get home every day. I really have more than I could have ever wished for. Yet, I still just feel like, a kid. Maybe that's a good thing. Obviously I've made it pretty damn far in life, especially for not even being 30 years old yet. What is it that makes me feel this way? Why do I feel so weird about it? I'm doing okay, I'm not as irresponsible as I used to be, I have more than I could've dreamt of. Is it because I still have hope, and drive? I haven't just folded and accepted my fate as a boring adult? That's a good thing the way I see it. I don't know.

I guess it's just that I yearn for a time when I actually was young. For a time when I could call up my friends out of the blue and we could meet up and get into whatever shenanigans. Without the worry of having to get up early to go to work or worry about being hungover the next day. In a way I do still have friends like that, we toss aside our reasonable judgement from time to time to work on our projects together and drink and bullshit with each other. I love that. I hang onto that for dear life. I guess there are just other friends that I miss dearly.

Music is my greatest passion in life. It's always music that gets me feeling this way. It's what brought me back to this blog tonight. Specifically, the song "Zodiac Shit" by Flying Lotus came on after I put my music library on shuffle. It always brings me back to being like 16 years old, taking psychedelics with my friends, going on random adventures, doing whatever felt right at whatever given moment. I frequently long for this time of my life. Being truly free to explore life and my identity. I was definitely a troubled kid, but I lived in a beautiful delusion. It was wonderful. No matter how naïve I actually was, I really did have it all figured out. But that definitely couldn't last. And that's okay. It's not meant to last. I think the thing that sucks about adulthood, especially after the life I've lived thus far, is that things stop feeling new. It's hard to imagine having an experience that I haven't already traversed. I've lived in the underground nightlife, worked in the criminal underworld, traveled to other continents and gotten completely lost with no cell service, toured around the country in a bus with no seats to play music to hundreds or thousands of people. I've lived both as dirt poor and spoiled rotten. I've tasted all the luxuries and amenities of the elite, as an underdog degenerate kid. I've done hard, dirty laborious work with people of all colors and backgrounds. I've sipped champagne and done drugs with extremely rich people in VIP booths at clubs. I've chauffeured legendary musicians more times than I can count at this point. Even now, at what feels like the most stable and boring time of my existence, most people would still argue that I live a very interesting life. And they are right. I get to do some really fucking cool shit. Even in my professional work life, I get to do and see things that average people couldn't imagine. But why do I still look back on who I was over a decade ago with such awe?

I guess it comes down to freedom. While I am arguably at my happiest now, living an honest and modest life, I do look back fondly on the time where my body felt invincible. Where consequences weren't something that I gave much thought to. I never worried about sleep, never worried about getting in trouble, never worried about my finances. I suppose its easy to romanticize about the time when I didn't truly value my life. A time when I had no future, when I only cared for the present.

For the first time in my life, I have everything to lose. I have love, I have support, I have a home of my own, I have little kitties that depend on me. That's a beautiful thing. I am so grateful for it all. At the end of the day, I couldn't have all this if it wasn't for my past self. That dumb ass kid somehow navigated me to this exact moment. And I can't thank him enough. I'm so proud of him. I'm doing everything I can to take care of him today. I'm so glad that I've kept that child alive, instead of letting him die in the race to finding a stable life like many of the adults I've met in my life.

Maybe being a man-child isn't such a bad thing. Maybe I've still got it all figured out. I know that I am still learning every day, learning how to be a good man, a good member of society, a good friend, a good relative, a good partner. But shit, I'm doing that pretty well.

I'm doing alright.

[watchmegetobsessed]

DOGS OR CATS

a/n: woke up to a mountain of content and yall could BET i would write something short and sweet!! i haven't even had breakfast, typed it out as fast as possible so... here it is! ihope everyone had the best time of their life last night, especially harry 🥰

pairing: Harry x reader

warning: very slight smut, almost nonexistent lol

word count: 1.7k

masterlist

Lying in bed with your phone in hands you can’t push the wide smile down when you hear your boyfriend giving you a private concert after tonight’s show. The tunes of Kiwi echoes in the bathroom, mixed with the sound of the running water. He is still high on adrenaline, his mind probably hasn’t switched back to off-stage mode, but you can’t blame him, he’s been dreading this moment for almost two years, to be back on stage, in his natural habitat, with his devoted fans, who are more like his friends at this point. He has been devastated every time bad news came about tour, there was a point where it almost got fully cancelled, but Harry was the one who fought and said he would rather cut his arm off than do that to the people he can thank so much to.

Tonight Love On Tour finally started and Harry couldn’t be more excited, he has been buzzing with energy for days and the moment he stepped on stage, it felt like full balance has been brought to the world.

You watched him from the side, his pink outfit demanding your attention with every more like it was the light and you were a moth. You cried. No use to deny it, you cried several times during the show, because you knew how much it meant for him and you just wanted to see him happy.

Now the show is over, but only for others, not for you. Harry suddenly switches from Kiwi to Fine Line and he just keeps repeating the same line over and over again: “We’ll be alright, we’ll be alright…”

Sighing with a giddy smile you open up your Tumblr app on your phone to see what’s been the reaction to the concert tonight. You’ve had a blog since forever, the aesthetic of it changed with how you grew up, but you could never say goodbye to the community there. These days, it’s a great source to see what fans are up to and what’s talked about. So you go to the search bar and type in Harry’s name, thousands of posts appearing in front of you. Damn, some fans work so fast, it’s been only about two hours, but there’s so much content! Gifs, pictures, photo sets and text posts are flooding the hashtag of his name and you start scrolling through, his pink outfit dominating everywhere.

It still baffles me how good he looked tonight and you’re not talking about just the outfit. He had a kind of glow he can only get from performing, it’s unique and it amazes you entirely. The smiles, the faces he made, the little interactions he had with the audience, it warms your heart to see the person you love the most be this happy after going through such a hard time.

One gif set catches your attention in particular. A fan apparently held up a sign asking if Harry preferred dogs or cats and he answered dogs before moving on with the show. It makes you laugh, because this was a discussion you had very early in your relationship on one of the first dates three years ago. The question of preference in this topic is believed to be crucial and the two of you had different answers on it, making a small, rather entertaining disagreement over dinner.

“Wha’s so funny?”

You were so focused on your phone, you didn’t even realize that he was done in the shower. Now he is moving around the room, roaming through one of his bags for something, only wearing his boxers. Fresh from the shower, droplets of water are littering his glistening skin, his hair a little damp, the curls bouncing around his head with every movement.

“I think we have something to discuss,” you tell him with a brow arched, but the smile is still on your lips.

“Really? About what?” he hums finishing at his bag and he finally joins you on bed. Slipping under the white sheets, his arms curling around your waist right away as he pulls you close to his chest while you hold up the phone, showing him the gif set. He furrows his brows as he reads the text written on it and then he watches himself from earlier tonight. Then his eyes drop to you and you know he is about to make a joke out of this.

“Are you saying I still haven’t converted you?”

“I’m still a cat person,” you shrug grinning, resting your chin on his chest. He takes a deep breath staring up at the ceiling for a few seconds before his eyes return to you.

“Three years of work, out the window,” he says dramatically.

“Work?” you laugh, smacking his naked chest. “I’m just work for you?”

“Oh, a lot of work, baby,” he nods, but he can’t hold back his smile any longer. You try to peel his arms off of you, but he just tightens his hold and doesn’t let you move away from him.

“Then maybe you should go on a vacation from that so called work,” you challenge him, trying to sound upsetting, but you both know it’s just a game.

“I don’t think I have any vacation days, baby,” he hums pursing his lips.

“Oh, poor you!” you laugh, poking his dimples as he smiles down at you. Pulling you up he presses his lips against yours, kissing you gently, taking his time unlike every time he ran off the stage tonight and smacked his lips against yours in a hurry before he disappeared, leaving you giggling.

“So when we are gonna move in together and we decide to get a pet, you won’t let me have a cat?” you challenge, talking against his lips, kissing him again then.

“Mm, you need to convince me, baby,” he grins smugly at you, his hands wandering down your body, one to your butt, the other one sliding under your shirt, spreading out on your naked back.

“Oh, I think I’m good at convincing you.”

You both are tired, but that doesn’t stop you from getting lost a bit in each other. Soft kisses and tender touches, you’re rolling around in bed giggling that soon turn into small gasps and moans. Your clothes soon get thrown to the floor near the bed and you finally feel Harry the way you’ve been fantasizing about all evening. He whispers sweet nothings into your hair as he makes love to you.

When you’re lying in bed after, still naked, very much satisfied, you can tell that Harry has something on his mind. His fingers are tracing tiny patterns onto your skin as you’re lying partially on his chest, running your pointing finger back and forth on his jawline.

“What’s on that pretty head of yours, Styles?” you hum, cupping his cheek gently. His eyes move to you, running his tongue over his pink, slightly swollen lips.

“So you’ll want to have a cat when we live together?”

His question surprises you, you didn’t think he would get so hung up on this discussion.

“I mean, I would love to. But we could have a dog too, it would be so cute if they were best friends, cuddling on the couch,” you tell him smiling. You’d be lying if you said you haven’t thought about your future life together with Harry, especially during the pandemic, because you spent a good chunk of it living together in his house, getting a taste of what it would be like when you’ll be doing it for real and you loved every bit of it. You’ve been actually thinking about bringing it up to him, but you figured you’d wait until the end of tour.

Harry is staring down at you like he has so much to say, but he doesn’t know where to start and it’s starting to scare you a bit. Did you say something that he didn’t like?

“B-But if it’s gonna be just a dog, that’s fine too,” you quickly add. “I love dogs too, I swear.”

Harry chuckles, sensing you grow anxious, so he squeezes you to stop you from rambling.

“I have something to tell you.”

“Okay,” you breathe out. He reaches for his phone on the night stand and you push yourself up a bit so you can see what he is trying to show you. Tapping on the screen a few times, the picture of a house appears on it with the details listed under; number of bedrooms and bathrooms, entertainment room, wine cellar, pool… It has everything you’d ever wish for in a home, maybe even more.

“Harry, what is this?” you ask, though you already have a strong guess on this question.

“I’ve been looking around on the market and I… This house, I feel like it’s perfect for us. I haven’t bought it or anything, but the seller is keeping it up for me to decide for the end of the month. Part of me wanted to surprise you with it, but I don’t want to decide on the home we’re gonna share together on my own. It needs to be the perfect fit for you as well. So…” He breathes out, the nerves in his voice clear, even though he has no reason to fear. “I guess this is my way of proposing the idea of… moving in together.”

“Harry,” you breathe out, touched and a bit left out of breath by his words. There are so many things you want to tell and ask him, you don’t even know where to start. “Why do you want to buy a completely new house? Yours is great too.”

“But that’s mine,” he shrugs. “I want this one to be ours.”

You could cry at his words, but instead, your press your lips to his, kissing him like there’s no tomorrow. You never thought it’s possible to love someone this much, but Harry proves you wrong all the time with everything he does.

“So… we’ll have a dog and a cat?” you ask, your eyes tearing up, but strictly out of happiness. Harry wipes a tear away from your cheek as he grins at you, his eyes glassy as well.

“Anything you want, baby. But please let me have at least one dog.”

“Alright, deal,” you chuckle, before kissing him again and again.

Thank you for reading! Please like/reblog if you enjoyed!

[supernatural-jackles]

Okay we need to talk jen. So sit down and listen.

first off, I want to say that you admitting that you don't know why you even consider yourself a writer hit me hard. My fav writer Jen who has done nothing but inspire me and many others, understand me and many others, and treat us with the gift that is your stories now says this? In some ways, I love this because it means you're not the superhuman who never stopped like I thought you were. You reminded me that it's okay to get stuck and blocked. At the same time, I'm pissed at you for even thinking you're not a writer because fuck you, yes you are.

You're the writer that wrote about mental health struggles and made me feel like I wasn't alone.

You're the writer that wrote a complex and addicting story like The Bet and lets not forget that you made it okay for me and probably others to accept that they don't have to decide on their sexuallity if they aren't ready to. You fucking did that.

You're the writer who posted consistently for years straight and brought it every damn time.

You're the writer who wrote about a miscarriage and did it with respect and taste. You write about suicidal thoughts, sexual assault, self harm and thins people don't want to talk about with just anyone.

You are that writer!

I won't lie. I hate that you've given a lot to this community and never received the same back. I don't see a whole lot of people reaching out to you these days and supporting you like they used to. I don't think I even saw one mention about your novel from any of your jen loves ***** people so I can see why you don't stick around here much. I just want you to know that you matter and your stories matter and you are the writer that inspires other people like me to write. You inspire people to always keep fighting.

You should always consider yourself to be a writer and a damn good one at that. You don't suck and you haven't even reached your full potential yet!

I can't wait to read Austin and Catalina's story. It will be an instant buy for me and I sure hope it's the same for a lot of others. I love you and your writing and you deserve to hear that 💜 Don't stop now

Hi, anon!

I just want to start off by saying thank you for taking time out of your day to send me this message. I was shocked when I saw how long it was and for you to take the time out to send it to me means the world. 💜

I am definitely not superhuman. I can admit that. It's absolutely okay to get writer's block and get stuck. I've always said that. I've just never really had a bad block in all my time writing and it's been a long time since I started. My writing was always my outlet when I was having a bad day or even a good day.

You've listed a bunch of great fics I've written over the years and I have no problems agreeing that they are great. I've written a lot that came from darker places and mentioned things that definitely aren't brought up in casual conversations. I'm not scared of that. I was that writer. But lately, I couldn't help but think that I hit the best. You know? I wrote a complex story as you pointed out and haven't come up with anything since. I can't help myself from thinking: "Is this it for me? Was I not meant to do more? Have I told all my stories?" That scares me.

Failure terrifies me.

My not being around her much lately does partially have to do with that. Yeah, I was writing a novel that I don't think anyone really took an interest in when it was mentioned. That was okay. I had friends wanting to read it before I scrapped it. I pretended not to notice when a few, friends, in particular, stopped supporting me, but I did. It is what it is and they have the right to support who they want to. I felt like I needed to pull away more and more after an incident in my writing challenge discord and was told I was the problem. It's just a natural thing to pull away sometimes. Yeah, I've always been there when people were struggling and I always will be. This blog will continue to be here.

I thank you from all of my heart for this message. I didn't know I needed it until I read it. I teared up quite a bit towards the end. I don't know if you'll ever get Austin and Catalina's story, but it means a lot that you'd want it. It means a lot to have your support and love. I clearly really needed it.

I wish you only the best writing vibes and even better things.

All my love

xoxox