#like damn queen ur ass is FAT
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bibleofficial · 2 years ago
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SCREAM saw my bestie today & we were explaining sniffies to one of his girlys & then i saw this new account pop up & was like DAMN & went to show him only to realize it’s HIS account 😭😭
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jinwoosbabyboo · 2 months ago
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queen nikaaa🫶🏻🫶🏻 loving the recent posts, amazing job as always
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it's not an ask but rather a curiosity tho, but wdyt personally for each LIs character like? which one is your fav? realistically speaking which one would you date and marry (if we imagine them all being a normal citizen with somewhat legal job. lmao)
im like in lovee with rafa and sy🥴🥴😫 personality wise I'd also date/marry them irl, so im curious abt yours girlypop
anyways love ur works as always babes 💓
I’m loving this question 🤭
Me personally….
Zayne he’s so fine and I love how dry his humor is and how dense he is at the same time. I also like that hes an undercover freak 😋
Xavier I love that shy boy facade he got going on because the boldness be coming out of left field
Rafayel I love this pathetic sarcastic dramatic ass man something bad good lord he so damn fine I needa get on his nerves while he’s puppy dog in love with me
SYYYLLUUUSSSSS MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN UGH I’m so down bad for this gorgeous 6’2” man and that wagon he’s dragging (that fat ass is ridiculous) if this man showed up at my window in the middle of the night and said “Come with me” I’m doing a flip out that window
So clearly Sylus is my favorite 😌 don’t get me wrong I love all my boys and I am indeed a LADS homie hopper but I’m gonna come back to Sylus again and again. We’re endgame 😌
Rafayel is doing a good job trying to steal me from Sylus though. That boyish carefree charm he has is so addicting.
Now in real life who would I date/marry?
Zayne: Date
Xavier: Date
Rafayel: MARRRYYYYY 💍
Sylus: Catch me at the alter in my white dress 💍😋
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nikomedes · 8 months ago
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its my first time doing lae’zel’s romance and the romance “commitment” in act 2 when she challenges u to fight her to prove your worth pops. and i go. um. bc my dear amaryllis is a wizard. she’s body type 2 bc she has Mass (and i can’t make a fat char), but she has 14 ac fully dressed and is grateful for it. out of spell slots. half lae’zel’s hp. and shes uhhhh diviner, but also out of portents bc, u know. end of the day. so lae’zel wins initiative and nearly sends her loving gf’s ass to the shadow realm and im sitting there like. getting the lose scene is prob fine in the long run but is there a way
i had a 3rd level arcane restoration potion in her bag
so the sequence of events is basically
lae’zel misty steps to the kill zone
2 full hits
roblox oof. 4hp left
amaryllis does jamieleecurtis.jpeg and takes a drink
level 3 lightning bolt
didnt even know i had the damn thing. bc she’s a diviner im deciding amaryllis got a late vision and went “i’ll pack this but christ alive.” don’t worry queen. im sure the progress on her “will allow a cuddle” meter is rising on account of ur big beautiful lightning bolt
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mrskurono · 4 years ago
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ANON: AYO its the high megumi anon here, another lil idea ? oh yeah baby.
oh yeah
i love thinking about his oral fixation like u mentioned before. boy has to always have his mouth on something its not even funny. ur too tired to move, so ur about to maybe try n sleep for just a few minutes(stamina is great but no cap u deserve a break for all the hard work ;) ) and megumi’s still a noodle-y leech, cant get away from u(he doesnt wanna+cant control himself enough to actually move away) and so when u turn on ur side to have a lil power nap or some shit(ur not afraid of him losing his high hes been kinda forcefed like four brownies at this point), he kinda rolls to u and i feel like hed be so grabby at ur ass and suck on the skin between ur shoulders until theres a Fat Fucking hickey right there, its so wet his drools dripping across ur shoulderblade and onto the sheet no fuckin cap. he doesnt know ur sleeping, he thinks ur ignoring him and with this i feel like he might be more pouty than loud tbh. hence the fat kisses on ur back; he wants to “subtly” get ur attention ;) if u manage to doze off, ur woken up anyway to him resorting back to rutting on u, except this time he goes from little soft n sloppy grinding and clasping/unclasping his hand on ur side(hes just laying on his other hand), to slowing down and eventually dozing off himself—both of these things alternating every minute or so of course. all while opening and closing his mouth-his attempted “kissing”- on ur back, up ur neck into ur hair
i would like 2 take the time to say i am jus absolutely loving this rabbithole weve created together :,) this whole concept has had me wet for days. literal days bro
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*unhinges my jaw like a baby bird ready to fucking eat this god damn meal you’ve prepared so graciously*
Never have I ever thought about someone sucking on my fingers as much as I’ve thought about Megumi doing it. Yeah this weeks English dubbed VA? You better your fucking sweet ass I was thinking about that gravelly voice of his all dopey and giggly. Brushing his hair off his face and all that dumdass does is grab your hand and put your fingers back in his mouth. God he doesn’t even stop there and gags on them. If you weren’t so tired this would be hot. But bitch c’mon a queen needs a break and this puppy is covered in cum and sweat and drool he can take a break to. But you know what I thought of half way through reading you beautiful master piece-
Cockwarming with doped up Megumi
Now I don’t even normally like cockwarming save for one character I’d do it with. But this needy idiot can’t tell if he’s fucking you or not. All he knows is warmth and the prickliness on his skin. Solution to needing a power nap? Wrapping your legs around him and forcing him to bury his cock inside you while you lock your legs over him (honestly its not hard just the weight of one of your legs keeps this idiot from moving too much) And you seal the deal by pulling his face into your chest. Wet lips on your neck/collar bone/chest, really any place he can put them in his stupor. And his cock now nestled nicely in your cunny with the rest of his cummy mess he left as a present. Megumi grumbling, moaning and whining ever so softly like a little puppy and you just coo at him, stroking his hair and telling him to hush while you try to catch a few zzz’s to recoup your own energy. He’s got the pleasantness of your cunt around his cock and half the time he can’t really tell if he’s thrusting into you or not. It’s perfect. He keeps dozing off, drooling on your chest while you hold him and keep him buried inside you. Megumi smashed into you ready to get every inch of his skin in contact with you. He’s mumbling about how much he loves you and wants to marry you or some stupid fucked up dope induced ramble but really it’s just him actually speaking his mind. God the dirt you could get on him. But your nice and let him continue praising you while soft thrusts into your core as you doze on and off with him leeched onto you
This is top quality content that I crave (’:
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jellicle-jemmy · 3 years ago
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So I wrote this a little over two years ago. They are my first thoughts in watching CATS (2019)
This was written basically as soon as I got home from the theatre in 2019. I truly hope you enjoy these, as they have been gathering dust in my drafts. Now, without further ado:
These are just some of my thoughts I had while watching and my initial reaction to the film I have just watched.
Okay, first of all, me and my pals thought we were in the wrong cinema for a couple minutes because there were faaaaar too many people in the cinema
Overture:
As we all know, the music slaps and me and my pals were straight vibing as the camera panned down. 
And then the cats appeared. I legit was thinking, “wow they actually made them look like that, huh?”
I immediately identified Munk, Cass, Dem and Syllabub
SPIDER MUNK! SPIDER MUNK! DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER MUNK DOES!
fr tho why did he climb down that wall like that that’s not how cats work
Why are they surrounding her like that?? ARE THEY SUMMONING A DEMON WTF?? I’M SO DIZZY
[Victoria appears] Oh look it’s a babey
I took a forty, smashed in on the ground and yelled SCATTER
Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats
Laurie Davidson is babey 
This isn’t too bad. I like the way that this number is being handled so far
AAaaaaaaaand now it’s funky town WTF
The music just went rachachacha on us
Munk really be out here straight vibing throughout the whole song
I do like how he’s kind of leading the whole numberits fun to watch
As always, there’s my babey Syllabub
We need to talk about the feet. Or maybe we shouldn’t. Yeah let’s not.
What is with the clapping in the music? Who is clapping? The cats aren’t. The audience certainly isnt. ( @whatsajinglebellcat said “It’s the clap of their ass cheeks as they’re dancing”)
The choreography is mediocre at best, I really dislike Andy’s choreography, why are they like that?????
Francesca Hayward is babey
How is Syllabub able to hang from that position wtf, surely that hurts
Robbie Fairchild as Munk is both daddy and babey (i’m said it I’m not sorry)
The jellicles seem to be having fun at least which is nice
Macavity Dialogue Bit
That Moriarty reference flashing into a wanted poster for Macavity is beautiful thank you so much to whoever pitched that and implemented that
Ooooo Macavity already sounds interesting
Once again, Laurie Davidson as Misto is babey
Demeter and Cassandra, why are you such bitches? Dear lord
The Naming of Cats // Invitation to the Jellicle Ball
Ngl I actually really like this bit
Deadass seems like a cult initiation but we’ve long ago established that the Jellicle tribe is a cult anyway
Munkustrap ur doing so good sweetie
Victoria darling u are one in the babey club
As always, there is Syllabub straight vibing
Mr Strap, Munk that is a child, why are you dancing with her like that?!
Francesca is a stunning wonderful dancer but she should’ve been dancing by herself more
Mr Mistofelees you are such babey ur so cute darling, he’s doing so good
Munk why did you have to sing your bit and then restate it while talking we’re not stupid!
oh wait.
a lot of people still don’t get the plot
carry on, and maybe say it again
The Old Gumbie Cat (Coming from someone who has played Jennyanydots)
no
no no
no no no
no no nope not happening no
no way
don’t like that at all
why is she doing that
why does she sound like that
Munk ur doing so good but why
Why is she spreading eagle like that
why do the mice look like that
why do the roaches look like that
WHY DID SHE UNZIP HERSELF DEAR GOD MY EYES
NO FUNNY FAT CAT BOING BOING 
The Rum Tum Tugger
ooooo... this... is alright
actually
hold up
wait
why is this actually good
awww Jenny and Munk are so cute i’m glad they did munk and jenny’s friendship
Damn Tugger is fun
Okay, why is he reacting to Vic that way
Who cares this slaps
Jason Derulo was a good Rum Tum Tugger choice there I said it
Oh my god i actually love his voice
Syllabub = babey
dear god Jenny that comment about Tugger and being neutered isn’t very in character but I cackled
Jenny sweetie pls don’t try and breakdance
Okay the milk is fucking weird
this is weird
okay nvmind it’s good again
Tugger really be feeling himself in those riffs. and so he should
Grizabella The Glamour Cat
This is well handled
I really like how Griz sang her bit to the curious Victoria
I love that not everyone realised Griz was there right away
Of course, that is 
oooo Cass and Dem are feisty 
Deadass Cass seems like Grizabella’s child??!!!
Oh my god they look like the Jets or the Sharks are they about to start clicking????!!!!
Gang gang
Once again - syllabub, i see you and i love you
Dialogue Interlude
Griz went of with Maccy Boi huh?
Macavity you fuckin’ bitch
I barely remember what happened but that transition into Bustopher Jones really doesn’t fit
I think Bustopher and Jenny had a fight? Umm? Why?
Bustopher Jones
I had a real trouble keeping an eye on whats going on in this number
Why are all his ‘clubs’ just dumpsters? Like no. That’s-
That’s not really
No
JESUS CHRIST JENNY REALLY JUST WENT POOF HUH
THANOS SNAPPED THAT QUEEN
HOLY SHIT
I LITERALLY JUMPED OUT OF MY CHAIR
After that I was just watching my friend who played Bustopher to see his reaction to everything
Also why is he singing this entire number by himself
Maitre’D (or however the fuck that name is spelled) is married to Bustopher and no one can change my mind
Why is “the cat in spats” so funny, Macavity? Huh? I did like that Mac poked fun at his fashion sense rather than his weight tho
Also why did Bustopher fucking flyyyy??????
Aaaaaaaaand down the slide Veruca Salt style
Growltiger Interlude
Could’ve raised a lot of red flags with this number, but just establishing the character where all the kidnapped characters ended up, I liked
Also what did Growltiger actually do to Bustopher
And that gag about the rhyming of “aims” and “thames” ran a little too long ngl
But I liked the mauled ear on Growltiger - nice nod and detail
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
These two really said “Be gay, do crimes”
I love them
I fucking love them
And this rendition
10/10 I love this whole number
They’re a little more evil than playful but I literally don’t care because they’re awesome
The jewels on Victoria? Stan
Mungojerrie is such a cute dumb bitch and I love him so much
Their accents are so cute
The house is stunning
Victoria? Babey.
Mungojerrie? Babey.
Rumpleteazer? Babey.
This number was so much fun and is probably my favourite
And their fur designs are so cute too!
I love this song. I love the version. I love everything about it.
Mistofelees X Victoria Interlude
Once again, the twins are babey
You know who else is babey? My clumsy and adorable boy Misto
Clumsy sweetie
Wow they’re going for Mistoria huh?
Why didn’t they play up Mungo and Teazer knowing Vic before the ball? Why is there just a nod to it in when Munk asks about the jewel Vic wears
Old Deuteronomy
I adore Robbie Fairchild
Why does Old Doot appear like a new rival in a video game?
The rendering was so bad in that moment
But Munk is so sweet when Doot appears
They are mother and son, and no one can change my mind
Judi Dench really can’t sing huh...
It’s so raspy and yick
Also her coat is so odd and I hate it
Deadass she looks like an albino
Song of the Jellicles
I genuinely couldn’t tell if I liked or disliked the fact that everyone sang everything
“Meow meow meow meow” Gus dear god why
Again, we’re back into the whole cult thing
Jellicle Ball
The whole cinema lost their minds laughing through this whole choreography and I hated it
But Syllabub got some dance moves
Tugger saying “With your permission” ummm??? He is Doot’s other more feral son
The choreography was good at some points but for the most part it was eh
The music is bangin’ tho
And then they all died lmao
Memory
WHY DOES GRIZ HAVE SO MUCH SNOT
that is all
PART 2 COMING SOON
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bakusdumptruck · 4 years ago
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Hawks Headcanons
Warnings: cussing, use of marijuana 
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OKAYOKAY SO this would literally be the cutest fucking relationship
He’s the type of boyfriend to tease you CONSTANTLY but ofc its out of love
You guys could be laying in bed watching a show and he’d randomly scream just to get a reaction out of you 
“OH MY FUCKING GOD”
“FUCKING SHIT KEIGO WHAT HAPPENED”
“Nothing :) i just wanted to see what you would do”
*y/n proceeds to kick keigo off the bed*
“...I deserve that.”
Dates would consist of ordering food (preferably nuggets), wearing onesies, binge watching anime, AND ROLLING A FAT ASS JOINT :D
Since this man is a foodie, he eats a alot… NOW WHEN HE’S HIGH, THATS A WHOLE ASS DIFFERENT STORY.
Expect to spend $200 at McDonalds to satisfy bird brains hunger
“Baby birrrddddd, dooovveeeee, chICKEN WINGGGG IM HUNGRY :(“
“Kei… you literally ate 100 nuggets”
“Okay and? I shared those nuggets with you”
“no... you didn’t… i got my own since i knew you were gonna eat them all”
“Awh 🥺 babe 🥺 do you care about me that much 🥺” 
“nah ur a fatass lol, and an even bigger fatass when you’re smacked”
“I- 😃”
“AHAHA IM KIDDING STOP CRYING I'LL GO ORDER MORE NUGGETS” 
*cue hawks wrapping himself up in his wings sobbing* “...can u roll up again too 🥺” 
“*sighs* yes” 
“😄”
Don’t get me wrong, a high hawks can be very cute but at the same time he’s annoying as hell
Will not stop bothering you about how he can’t stand up, how hungry he is, and how bored he is
Basically he turns into a brat 
He once tried to fly but ended up bumping into a building 
He had to take off for a few days because of a concussion :D
Days off with keigo would be amazing 
ya’ll could go from cuddling in bed all day, enjoying each others company to screaming karaoke songs till you loose your voice. 
Keigo would be dancing around screaming the lyrics to “Don’t Stop Me Now” by queen at the top of his damn lungs 
He’s not good AT ALL LMAOO.
His voice is cracking and he keeps hitting all the wrong notes, but its hilarious
You’re on the floor crying holding your stomach while he struts down the hall in his kfc onesie.
Eventually he pulls you up and you join in singing just as horribly. 
okay imma get soft now hehe
When you guys are cuddling, he likes to wrap his wings around you and pull you close.
He prefers you facing him so he can give you cute lil forehead kisses. (but really he just wants to stare at your beautiful ass face bc bby boi is in LOVE)
Theres soft lofi music playing in the background and he’s humming along to it.
HE WILL PLAY WITH YOUR HAIR
idk what he does but when he plays with your hair it is pure bliss. 
you’ll fall asleep within five minutes or less. Thats how good he is.
All in all when ya’ll are cuddling he likes to have you close and he needs to have his hands on you
whether its running up and down your back, playing with your hair, playing with your hands, he WILL have his hands on you
but with consent ofc :) 
he does not want to make you uncomfortable at all
whispers about how much he loves you and how much he appreciates you 
“I love you birdie. Thank you for sticking around me, and comforting me, and feeding me, and loving me, and hugging me, and kissing me, and wiping my tears away, and cuddling me, oh and also for fuc-” 
“OKAYY THATS ENOUGH ”
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girlgrouptrash101 · 5 years ago
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Moonbyul (Mamamoo) as Your Girlfriend
Requests: “hey cld i req a dating moonbyul headcannon? tysm!!😽😽”
“could you plz do what dating moonbyul would be like ?? btw love your writing , keep up the good work 😊”
A/N: I’m alive, merry december kiddos
- C
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moonbyul always pretending like you're the whipped one in the relationship... smh
the greasiest person probably to ever exist
she just cannot go more than 5 minutes without dropping a cheesy compliment or pickup line
even though they're so stupid you still always blush at them anyway
Moonbyul is the queen of PDA girly doesn't care who's around she just wants to be close to her baby
if she can't basically wrap herself around you like a koala then the least she can do is hold your hand
forehead kisses!!! all the time!!!
that gf that stays with you all day while you're working just to bring you food and drinks and rub your shoulders when you've been at your desk all day
really sweet and caring but also a lil shit when she wants to be
big dick energy kinda just radiates off Moonbyul
like when she walks into a room and everyone in there is like god damn,,,
they either wanna be her or be with her
and ur like yep. she is mine I know ur jealous
she LOVES showing you off and will do so at every given opportunity,, esp to her members who are like yeah yeah we know ur in love we GET IT
making out w Moonbyul>>>>>
she loves to kiss from your neck up to the shell of your ear, finally finishing at your lips
u already know she's a grade-A kisser too
Her hoodies omg
she literally doesn't care how many you take, and oh my GOD,, they always smell so good
plus her fashion sense is actually 1000/10
tbh Byul lets you wear anything out of her wardrobe
nothing feels better than having a shower at your girls place then getting into a pair of her sweatpants and a fat ass hoodie am I right
movie nights rewatching all your faves and stuffing your faces with all the snacks your heart desires
throwing food at each other trying to catch it in your mouths,,,, but you always miss
n Byulie gets so cuddly and sleepy after a couple of movies that she just curls into you like a panda,,, that shit is so cute
Long drives together where y'all screech out the lyrics of the songs on the radio
and Moonbyul driving with her hand on ur thigh for the whole drive god damn
promise rings when things get serious
and waking up every day to a smiling hamster and the softest ‘I Love You’, as the sun peeks through the blinds and Byul brushes some hair out of your face with a goofy smile
like... y’all just so in love and whipped as hell, no matter how long you’ve been together
and that’s how it boutta stay uwu
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NSFW From Here:
a top, wbk
can either be really soft or really rough, depending on her mood
sometimes she just wants to come home and appreciate every inch of your body
claiming you as hers as she reminds you of how she loves you endlessly
and other times, she just wants to make you scream
so uh,,, be prepared to not walk fro a couple days lets be real
kinda a hopeless romantic when she wants to be though
especially on anniversaries, when she covers the bed in roses and focuses on your pleasure and only that for the whole night
v into blindfolding you and touching you until you’re so sensitive even towards a breath against your skin
it makes Moonbyul feel so in control of you and she loves it
big ass strap for all that big dick energy am i right ladies am i RIGHT
will not hesitate to leave hickeys and bite marks all over your skin, admiring them every time she sees them afterwards
choking kink? mayhaps
jealous sex omg
getting fucked while Moonbyul is acting possessive as shit, asking who you belong to as she goes harder and harder
10/10 aftercare tho lbr like she just switched up completely and is so gentle as she cuddles you to sleep
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heesgf · 6 years ago
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bad boy! byounggon
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a long but cute and fluffy bad boy bullet scenario :’))) pls read
this is my bullet scenario debut so im rlly gonna try and make it pop let’s get it
OK SO mr byounggon is a little bit of a bad boy, mostly because he’s not super loud, and he doesn’t necessarily make his presence known all the time... so he’s kinda just ,,, in quiet disapproval of everything
u could be laughing rlly loud with ur friends and being rlly obnoxious in the hallway but when he walks by ur kinda like.. O shit be quiet!!!212!!... bc ur not tryna have him roll his eyes at u (bc he will)
I think he’s partially so reserved bc ppl dont talk to him bc they’re scared,,, but bby just thinks ppl dont like him so he’s a lil :’((( about it
Lowkey but highkey everybody thinks he’s rlly hot!! One time a girl tried to impress him by vaping in his face and he was just like... bitch Tf... ಠ_ಠ... pls step away
He’s ALWAYS late to class bc he’s polishing the handles of his motorcycle and somehow none of the teachers are bothered
He’ll just pop in like 30 minutes into class, in the middle of a class discussion about why technology is ruining the planet; the teacher will give one look, smile at him, and then it’s all chill & dandy
Which is fucking RUDE bc one time u were late to class bc u got the RUNS at the end of P.E.,,,, and she was merciless!! She hit u with the “30,000 word essay due tonight” bitch!!!
Injustice™
So he’s late for the 3904390th time one day, and you’re super mad!! The second he walks in you feel urself fuming, and u turn to ur friend Junkyu who’s already giving u the 👀
Ur SO MAD u start going off,,, and ur like “that fucking jerk he’s always late and ms. johnson doesn’t give a single fuck... in FACT ! she loves his ass. This isn’t fair, honestly im gonna bring this to the principal”
And junkyu’s just cackling away bc ur doing The Most right now, and honestly ur kinda loud, so ppl just are looking @ u like “ .....? ...? are u ok ?? ?”
The answer is no
So ur talking ur shit storm all the way thru your teacher’s instructions, and she introduces a partner project (#cliche am i right)
Junkyu’s already grasping ur hands bc ur his ride or die
But before y’all can start giggling in harmony bc best friends forever, Ms. johnson gives u this rlly fat smirk, and she’s like “hehe... im making partners”
Thats when ur soul dies bc u happen to have the Worst Luck when it comes to partner assignments
Ur always partnered with that one dude that excuses himself to go to the bathroom, but then just vapes outside for 46 minutes,,, and u have to do the WHOLE thing urself,,, and ms johnson just bats her eyelashes and gives u one of these :-) “is there an issue?” and ur just like “:/// no im ok”
(ur not ok)
THIS TIME she’s looking around the classroom, and she starts pairing ppl up
When she pairs junkyu up with this other girl u feel like ur about to have a stroke,,, he gives u a sad lil frown and now ur in ur #feels
Suddenly ms Johnson points right @ you and she’s like “YOU!”
And right at that moment, mr byounggon gets up so he can go polish his bike handles for the 89th time this morning
And she’s like “(y/n) and byounggon, u guys are partners”
Ur like :o
He’s like :o
Ms. johnson’s like XD lolz :P!!!
Junkyu squeezes ur hand one last time, and he’s like “pls dont kick his ass plz, u don’t have the arm strength”
And ur like “PLS~~~~he might LOOK tough but he’s probably a rlly lame loser....” and then junkyu scurries away to another table group
Byounggon walks toward u
And as he’s walking ur crossing ur arms, and mumbling under ur breath, ‘god why ME, WHY’
Ur interrupted from ur sad hour bc byounggon yanks the chair across from u and finally sits his ass down,,,,
He’s looking outside the window,, probably @ his bike, honestly they’re a ship, #byounggbike
U kinda just look at him, absorb everything,, ur like “o dam... he DOES look tough”
His hair is jet black and messy but somehow perfect? He’s got this silver cross earring that dangles down from one ear, and when he lifts his hand to scratch his face, u notice the silver rings on his hands... and ur like... hmm kinda sexy...
Ur in ur own world, just staring at his VRY plump lips that are literally the perfect colour... no lip products needed damn
And the longer u stare, u realize his eyes are kinda sparkly? And his teeth are perfect? And he as a rlly cute long neck
In the middle of ur trance, byounggon’s so confused, honestly a little bit offended, bc ur just staring at him with ur eyebrows knitted, rlly intently, like ur analyzing him
He narrows his eyes and he’s like “what!”
U kinda jump in ur seat and ur like shit fUCK, he must be so weirded out by me rn (he is)
Ur mouth is agape, and u dont rlly know what to say, so u DONT SAY ANYTHING
And that makes him MORE frustrated
He’s like “WHAT are u looking at!”
And ur like
“SFOSJDFIOS... ur eyes are rlly pretty!”
For a second he thinks ur joking
But u look at him so expectantly, and ur cheeks are FLUSHED, so he thinks u might be serious; ur heart is beating 3430430 miles per hour, and u gulp,
But listen -- u HAD to say it-- bc ur mama taught u to give compliments when u think them! She’s a nice lady
Anyways back to the story
Ur definitely about to go into cardiac arrest
And ms johnson’s just sitting behind her desk like 👀🍵
Byounggon’s quiet for a moment
And for a Hot Second™ u think ur about to get ur ass BEAT (not physically, but verbally ;))
But then u notice the tops of his ears are turning a rlly deep red, and he averts his eyes downward
He mumbles a rlly rlly rlly quiet “ .. thanks”; and he says it so fast u almost miss it, but he sAID IT!
Then it’s quiet again and the level of awkward is so intense u want 2 die
Junkyu looks over to you from his table and he’s thinking ‘shit some real shady business must have gone down bc they wont even LOOK @ each other”
Little does he know.....
So u clear ur throat suddenly like “AHEM ok,,, we should probably work on this”
And he’s like “aight”
he seems so tough when he says things like that, but he was such a shy boy two seconds ago
So you guys get started
And it’s basically a project where you introduce the other person to the class with a video... so u rlly gotta get to know each other, and bond and all that cute stuff
And u already KNOOOOO if u dont do well, ur gonna face ms. johnson’s wrath, so ur really invested in doing a good job
And as an added BONUS!!! Ms. johnson says the group that does the best job on the project doesn’t need to take part in the final exam
And ur like BOOOOOYAHH!!! Bc final exams always fuck u over, and u go down like 5% just bc u momentarily lose ur mind and suffer
So ur #dedicated
In this beginning, byounggon rlly doesn’t open up that much, and ur genuinely concerned because it seems like ur going to be making a five minute video about how much he loves his bike (hint: A LOT)
But then u make a rule!! Ur like “hehe... no more bike talk.. Okay?”
And that’s when the Good Stuff comes out
You learn all this wild shit about byounggon
U go down the list of questions miss johnson gave ya’ll and you’re learning all about how  how he likes writing songs, and composing music, and for some weird reason, he rlly likes bowling
Then ur like “whats ur fav body part”
He looks @ u rlly funny, and he’s kinda chuckling, giving u the “uhh are u sure that’s a question, or are u just curious?”
Ur FLABBERGASTED
You shove the paper in his face and you point at the question like a crazy person and he puts his hands up and he’s like “DAMN ok i get it”
Ur not rlly mad tho... homeboy’s got #jokes
He forces a smile, and then he juts out his finger at his cheek
And he’s like
“I like my Dimple.. It’s pretty impressive tbh”
U kinda just wanna bug him so ur like “mmm nah i dont think it’s all that impressive... not that cute” (ITS RLLY THAT CUTE THO)
He pretends to be rlly offended, and he sticks his tongue out and kinda bites it
Like tHIS:
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Mr byounggon is NOT having ur sass today !
Ur trying to keep a straight face but FUCK he looks rlly hot in this moment, and suddenly, ur thinking... “fav body part.... Every part!”
He laughs it off, and he’s like, “nah dude, u have to see it in The Moment! That’s when you’ll respect The Dimple”
U deadpan at him bc.... LMFAO did he rlly just say “respect The Dimple”
Yes queen he did
U guys continue like this for a while, until the bell rings, and after, he scratches the back of his neck, and he’s struggling to make eye contact
When he looks like this, u rlly start to wonder how ppl could think he ever looked intimidating,,, bc GOD when his cheeks are a light shade of pink, and his eyes are wandering, and his hands are shaky, he looks so frickin CUTE
He’s like... “so u want start filming @ ....atmyhouselater...?”
Ur like w o t did u just say sir
And he’s like: “do u want to start filmingatmyhouselater!!!”
The classroom is loud bc ppl are shuffling outside, and he’s talking so fast, and honestly, ur just distracted by the hair that’s shifting in and out of his eyes... sparkly eyes... ANYWAYS
Ur like... “byounggon... pls enunciate” !!!
FINALLY,,, smoothly and clearly,,, he says “wanna start filming at my place later?”
And ur shook
But SO EXCITED
Bc u’ll see the Home of Byounggon
Ur like “hehe... yeES”
And then he’s like “ok cool” and fucking BLASTS OUT THAT CLASSROOM LIKE NO TOMORROW
For a second ur kinda shook bc damn.... Does he not have whiplash???
U turn around and u have this fucking goofy smile on ur face
Junkyu slowly walks up to and he’s like “... is it just me, or do you look happy after talking to... byounggon?”
U look @ him in distaste
“It’s just u bitch!”
He can’t know... . ... . . YET.
***TIME SKIP BBY*****
During lunch, u spilled to Junkyu about all the shit that went down with byounggon, and how u were feeling kinda gushy
When u told him u were gonna go to byounggon’s after school, he lost his damn mind
He was like: “take pictures and send them to me PLZ”
U were like: “TF NO!.... hehe ok maybe”
After school, u give junkyu a fat hug bc he’s a cuddly koala bear, and he wishes you good luck!! Then u run to ur locker and try and act cool
Byounggon pops into the hallway a few seconds later, and he raises his eyebrows @ u, and gestures toward the door
U try not to RUN over to him, and restrict urself to a respectable speed walk
He kinda chuckles bc ur .... cute.
U guys both walk outside and ur anticipating his mom to kinda just appear and drive u both to his place,,
No bitch
That’s not happening
U guys walk out to the side of the school, and u see the world famous #byounggbike
He shoots you a thumbs up and he’s like “mm ok so just hop on!”
Ur like
“Ha a ha .. wh at?”
He smirks all cocky, and he’s like “what? You’ve never rode a motorcycle before or something?”
Ur like. “HA! Whaaaaaaat? Of COURSE i ride motorcycles... in fact, i ride them... . . allllways...”
And he’ s like .......... ok shutup and get on
So u pop ur cute butt onto the seat, and he gets on, and he’s like: “okay, make sure u hold on rlly tight, ok? It can be dangerous”
U kinda scoff bc damn... he’s doing The Most rn isn’t he? So ur all like “PSSHHHTT... i dont even need to im a natural--”
And suddently u dont even have time to let out a breath bc homebody just GOES
IMMEDIATELY u latch ur arms around his waist and ur shutting ur eyes rlly tightly and screaming like “WTF HOW COULD U DO THAT WITHOUT A WARNING”
When he slows down @ the red light, u can FEEL his smirk from the backseat, and he’s like “o well u said ur a pro so i just... went?”
U want to smack his stupid mouth,,, but also,,,, k*ss his stupid mouth
Honestly byounggon was right
When u see The Dimple in the moment,,,, u really fall for it
The ride from then on is mostly smooth, and now ur kinda relaxed, so u just feel the breeze flying threw ur hair
U lose ur hair tie but its ok
Bc u do that everywhere
Ur sort of just enjoying the moment, and honestly it’s kinda peaceful??? U kinda like #byounggbike... now u guys are a ship... #(y/n)bike
Byounggon notices ur vibing with his bike, and it makes him smile rlly wide
At one of the stop lights, he looks at you in his peripheral vision and ur laughing and in ur own lil world
Ur so cute
He likes it so much
He starts riding again, and then just to keep u on ur toes, the boy SWERVES on the road a little bit and ur like “FUCKING STOP DOING THAT ILL KILL U”
And he’s LAUHGIGN so hard, and the laugh is deep, and it vibrates through his whole body
U feel it when ur arms are wrapped around him
and there’s this devilish look in his eyes
It’s really fucking cute
But u wont tell him that.
U guys finally arrive at The House of Byounggon, and you rush into his place bc damn... it’s cold outside! And he’s wearing a sleeveless black top AHHHHHHHHHHHH bicep palooza
U guys get warm inside!!!! And u meet his mom!!! The cutest woman in the entire world!!! And she brings you guys carrots and celery as u work
You ask more questions, and you learn about byounggon’s friends: seunghun, yedam, mashiho, hyunsuk
He shows u pics!!! Damn they’re literally all cute
Hot Squad
U tell byounggon u like to bake, so he comes up with a brilliant idea
He’s like “oh!!!! My mom’s about to make some cherry pie, make i can film u helping her out or smthh for the video”
U guys pile into the kitchen to help his mom, but she’s got the TEA!!!!! She’s like “hehe kids, i’ll be right back i need to do... something.....(y/n) knead this dough while im gone”
She YEETS tf outta there!!! And she’s nowhere to be found for a suspiciously long amount of time... hmmmm
Byounggon films u kneading the dough, but honestly, u dont know what tf ur doing
When u said u liked baking,,, u meant like...box cake
Ur playing with the dough like it’s a slime video, and byounggon is laughing his fucking head off while u just suffer
“Ur doing a rlly good job” he says with his mouth full of cherries
Ur about to tell him tf off for eating ur ingredients when ur hair falls out ur hair tie and it’s all over ur damn face
Byounggon’s like.... O shit
And ur like..... He LP
He comes to ur rescue
“What..... do i do”
U tell him to take the hair tie off the ground, and grab ur hair into a ponytail
His hands are so tentative, honestly a lil shaky, and for a brief second, he skims the skin of ur neck with his fingers
Ur body: shook
U have shivers all over and he bounces AWAY FROM U and he’s like “i- im sorry it was an accident”
Ur like... chill tf out brother... it’s cool
He comes back, ties ur hair into the ugliest side ponytail u ever saw, and u guys continue filming
“U made me look so ugly byounggon ur shady af” ur whining to him as u guys watch the clips back
Byounggon gasps!!! He’s like !!! “u did that urself!”
Then u wanted to kill him bc... did this bitch just call u ugly
U laugh and hit his shoulder!! And he’s like “nah im playing u always look cute”
IT COULD’VE BEEN AWKWARD
But u play it cool!!! And u smile at him, and he smiles at u
Then ur like
“Hey can i tell u a secret?”
“... what?”
“Honestly, ur not as bad as ppl make u seem”
He looks @ u with the stupidest smile but he knits his brows and he’s like GEE thank u (y/n), that is so kind of u!!! Ur so kind!!!
And ur like “NOOO hear me out, okay? You’re really nice, and smart, and sweet, and cute.. Ur rlly not as tough as u look....”
He’s kinda hurt, and he puffs his chest out, and kinda pouts
“Im tough.....”
U guys both just laugh
Moments like this continue for the next two weeks as you guys work on ur projects
Somehow byounggon convinces you to go bowling???
You finally go!!! and surprisingly, you beAT HIS ASS SO GOOD???~~~~ for someone that talked such mad shit about his skills,,,, ur rlly thought he’d do well
He got like.... 64 points
U got 107
He BEGGED u not to put that in the video!!!!!!!! Like so so so so badly!!! He offered to give you a ride home on #byounggbike everyday
U told him u wouldn’t put in it
And then the day of, when it popped up in front of the whole class, u were like SIKE BITCH I PUT THAT SHIT IN ANYWAYS!
He was choked up ! but dw he was ok
The whole time the video is playing, u guys are smiling at each other
Junkyu’s looking at u both with the most incredulous look on his face and he’s like... “am i interrupting something, here?”
“Shhhhhh.... Im looking at The Dimple”
“W h  a  t”
When ms johnson announces that u and byounggon had the best project, u just about pop out of ur seat, and u run ALL the way to byounggon, and u wrap ur arms around his neck, and u swing a lil bit off ur feet
He’s smiling so hard, The Dimple is #out, and the rumbling of his chest makes ur heart flutter
In that moment of excitement, u feel really bold, and u lurch forward and just plant the sweetest little kiss on byounggon’s cheek
He kinda does the :o
For a second, ur like... fuck SHIT,, i just fucked all the shit up
But then byounggon looks down at u
And he’s 4290290% heart eyes
He crouches into your ear, and he’s like, “hey can i tell u a secret?”
Ur nodding ur head like ur in a fucking trance
“I like you, (y/n)”
“I like u too, byounggon”
You guys are both smiling, junkyu’s gagging in the corner, ms johnson is loving every minute of this
U force urself on ur tippy toes, look into this sparkly eyes, and u crash ur lips onto his
His lips are soft and sweet, like strawberries
And when u pull away, he’s just as red as one too
While everyone else spends the next couple days studying for the final exam, you and byounggon are straight chillin
U guys spend ur time at the House of Byounggon, kissing the days away, and eating the carrots his mom provides for u both<333333333333
No bowling tho yikes :/// he’s scarred for life
thank u for reading and i LOVE U pls follow me im new
thank u guys for reading if u did!!!!! im a new ygtb blog <33 i plan on writing here and there, but im super dedicated rn bc there’s such little content. also, pls reach out to me, i want some friends <3 ok bye
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pokefanbri · 4 years ago
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I got in touch with my 1st love a couple months ago..hes a half native American & white dude, pretty pudgy now like triple the size of himself in middle school lol. Doesn't have much time left on this earth I feel for him, im glad I know now cause if I hadn't it probably would've been alot more devastating. Doesnt have to wear a mask cuz really whats the point. We met for coffee, got to hang out at the mall & he visited my work, we did talk & clear the air..got some things out that were left unsaid & i gotta say it really did help & we're better for it 😊 we're now cool & no hard feelings.
We used to be on & off in hs but the last time I broke it off with him for good reasons & also due to my mother 😒 If it weren't for him & our own experiences, & then every guy since...I would've have known how much I really love or attached I can be to someone (which has been all of them really but does disintegrate over time & going into new relationships they become just a distant memory as the yrs go by & then ur all about the new guy 🤔 basically right) or how unattached I can get when I just dont love them anymore...(of which has only happened twice)
For the record I've had 5 relationships my whole life...not counting flings..out of 2 they broke up with me.. & they so happen to be the ones i fell hard & fast for...its a common theme but they are the best ones I've experienced & I think I have a confirmed type now that I think about it lol. Im thinking too much again, but..they're top tier unforgettable.
I fell damn fucking hard this time around just like I did Thomas..don't think I got enough of him either...😤 seriously wtf is it with these charming & hilarious, headstrong, smart ass, string bean, stoner, Leo men fucking my heart up after only a few months time! What is the universe trying to tell me! I swear to God in another lifetime they would've been friends its an incredible likeness. History repeated itself it seems..I was so in love with him too, we were only 19 but omg he was awesome & we were ALL OVER EACHOTHER 🤤. He was my coworker, a red headed skinny bobblehead tho, & lived in my apt complex his best friend Danny boy did too in his own, hard core Call of Duty players I remember they high jacked my tv for optimum experience...😒 walking the tv across the parking lot was super sketchy looking lol.
Anyway after Thomas broke up with me for saying the L word "too soon" it freaked him out I guess & my brain cracked from the devastation...doctors are convinced it was the weed 😒 and apparently I ODd on Tylenol...crock of bs btw but whatever...i couldn't sleep & for days I was in a haze til I finally called my aunt for help & all of a sudden I was locked away in a psych ward for 2 weeks so they could observe what was wrong & diagnose me. Had to quit pima college & stop working, put everything on hold for my health. After I came back, Tom admitted he wanted me back but he hated my 1st love with a passion. I confessed I was back with my 1st as he was there at my side & visiting..when Tom had no idea where tf I was, me missing worried him sick. I had no clue & for all I knew he forgot about me while I was grieving over us in the hospital (I couldn't have my phone..knew a select few #s by heart otherwise he would've been the 1st I'd call), I was still dazed & super fucked up from the hospital..just outright exhausted when Thomas came to my apartment wanting to try again....yea I messed that up though regretfully. I told him the truth...I know it hurt him, hurt me too. Never saw Thomas again 😔 he was my 2nd, wonder how he is.
After I broke up with my 1st there was like a 1 or 2 month relationship with a fat Irish dude named Patrick I met from college, he insulted my mom..kicked his ass the curb 😂 yea she chased him away too just like my 1st...but an Irish version..was kinda a deadbeat anyway good riddance. I was alone for about 5 years after that til eventually met my ex-husband matt & was with him for technically 7 years & then that ended.
Long story short I was hit with another love bomb over the past year (T2.0 lol) & the fallout is taking forever to disapate lol...well good technically I don't want it to yet lmao, it feels good to love someone with a full heart except for the fact they ain't here 😔
I love genuinely & with a full heart, ive never had a problem with love, except for my abusive mother I sought approval for....never have I been with someone that didnt want it...didn't want me, until him. If someone shows that to me in a relationship it hurts me at the roots, u don't understand how much it brings out that little girl that just wants to be loved back..to be wanted. It hurts to think im not even worth that. I realize though that he may have his own issues to get past first b4 he can learn to give it back & its not my fault. I should on some things honestly but I don't blame him..not anymore. I blame my own trauma that made me so fucking sensitive & off-putting to him, going from 1 relationship to another without healing first, & not knowing how to function walking on eggshells around a new person trying not to piss them off...not knowing how to do a fresh relationship from the start again....when you've been with 1 person prior for 7 yrs.
I grew up being beaten as a kid, I have no father, my mother chose drugs over her own children, everybody in my family arent like a hallmark card far from it...its fucking tucson ok it's a hell hole. A good amount are notorious for causing trouble around the city, nobody talks to eachother..stays away & fends for themselves, or just killing themselves with drugs & selfishly hurting people around them. Very few of us are really trying to make it out & create life for ourselves but it's really hard to escape because we're all struggling. I cry because I've been strong for way too long on my own, I cry when I think im not good enough. Besides some relationships & friendships along the way for support guess who's always taken care of herself to survive, yours truly. It's a huge accomplishment that I've never been homeless, only a couple times have I had to rely on a friend or family member for a roof over my head & that was just 2020-2021,boy is it good to have connections during a pandemic phew, alot more tough to find someone willing to help. My big sis Lisa, my mentor assigned to me at 12 yrs old cuz my mom couldn't be a real parent lol...she says im a strong princess thats gone through hell & back, she's seen me do it countless times, she can attest to how much of a boss & survivor I am...she knows I deserve nothing but to be appreciated,respected, valued. I'm underestimated all the time because apparently people think they can read what kinda person I am just by looking at me or by word of mouth, hell no very doubtful screw u lol... i don't need anybody's belittling opinions of what kind of person I am ok, how about talk to me & ill see if u in the ballpark lol cuz I guarantee im a boss ass goody 2 shoes that can kick butt 😊. So listen here, I know my worth & I deserve a prince to keep me safe from the big bad world right? I need an actual shoulder to cry on not someone that'll walk away when I need them most 😔 Why tf do I feel like rapunzel & all I get is fuckin Flynn 😂 I'm a queen ok, hear me now.
This will be my 3rd own rented apartment. The 1st time I was a teen & imancipated...had that place for a few years 1st & 2nd love era, 2nd time was the escape from my mother as an adult & I moved away eventually got married. And now at another turning point in my life... escaping a very different hell & losing pretty much everything including the man that started it all, 3rd time is the charm right. Fuck my life sidewinder style. Honestly this is the best apartment complex I've found that I want as my home....its gated nothing can touch me from outside unless I say so, so at least im secure to a point.
Why am I talking and not sleeping 😐 I'm tired, it's 5am now. Yeaaaaa I'm done 💤
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roccoroks · 7 years ago
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Dag volume 4 ok its been a while now since i updated my dag post sooooooo.... its time its been a few weeks or so and i have had a meriade of dumb fucks roll through here but non was as big of a cluster fuck as this family! this guy was a grade a prostitues asshole cover in warts and his family were more needy than Alec Baldwin is a man child. it happened at the Grand Rod Run a few weeks back and it has taken me some time to sit down and type this up soo... 9/13/2013 3pmish its was another rod run, the parking lot was packed and i was maning the helm and sitting on 2 rooms left to rent for the night. i wanted them gone fast so i could flip the "no"sign on and sit down and continue vectoring a project i was working on. *dag walks in with a walk of arogance...no shit, just sunters in like he fucking owns the place or like he is the fucking president or some shit* me- good afternoon, welcome to the RSML (RiverSide Motor Lodge) dag- wheres johny me- (fucking dick, must be one of johnys friends) im sorry johny no longer works for us (because i fired his ass! mawahahahha) dag- cute, wheres he at, i need a room. me- -.- (hurrr we go) well like i said he is no longer with the company, we changed hands back in march and my aunt and myself are now the new owners of the property. we felt that he was holding the business back and loosing us money so i let him go. dag- look, i know the rutine, john told you to say he no longer works here so he can take the show off. but what i need you to do is call him so i can get my usual rate, i drove 9 hours to get here and im very tired and want a room. *dags family walks in, a fat wife with 2 small children with here. one stuck in a fat roll the other in perpetual orbit around her midsection like one of jupitur's moons* me- (wow, this guy might be retarted) sir as i already explained to you, johny no longer works, or is in any way a acting manager or affiated with RSML. i have his discharge papers in the back if you would like to see them, i am one of the new owners here and would be more than happy to help you. (there, see i can be a nice guy) dag- wtf do you mean he is no longer affiliated with you, hes the owner! (this is a very comon thing, johny told everyone he was the owner im guessing to get laid or some shit and now he has like 30 people who expect to stay for free now) me- -.- sir he was never the owner, he was our gm, if he told you other wise he was a lier and this was one of the reasons he was let go. he was costing us almost 100,000 a year due to bad management and pour business skills so we elected to not rehire him. dag- so johnys not the owner... me- (for reals bro? dafuq you not understand ingrish?) never was.....e.e >>>>~~~~~~ dag- well... i need a room, john always saved me one for the rod run. me- (tough shit, im putting you in one of the fuck huts where the bed is covered in semen and used rubbers) yes sir i have 2 rooms left, both of them 1 queen jacuzzi suites. dag: i have 2 kids and my wife with me, we all cant sleep in a 1 queen suite, i need a bigger room me- (first off, thats a marine creature, not a wife and those two parasitic lampray you call kids can sleepoutside for all i care) im sorry sir but those are the only rooms i have, now they do have a pull out couch you can use. next year you may want to make reservations with us to garuntie what room you get. dag- well it willhave to do. how much, remeber johny usually gives me a really good rate. me- (i dont give a good god damn if johny sucked your dick everynight before you went to bed!) the room is 165.00 plus tax dag- wtf johny only charges me 59.95 a night when i come up here!!! me- hince why we fired him dag- this is out ragous! (watch this dumb motherfucker will still pay it) me- (no your wife is out ragous! just look at that magestic beast!) im sorry but those are the rates. (buy this time the kids are teasing my parrot, we have a 27 year old parrot that has been in the business since we open. on his cage in 3 different places it says *danger, the bird bites!*. so naturaly the little shits are trying to poke him) me- you might wont to stop your kids from sticking there fingers in the cage, the bird bites. dag- for 165 we should beable to take the bird home! me-(what ever, chances are they will be just as retarted as you anyway, whats the lose of a few fingers) ok but if they get bit its on you *iring him up andhand him his keys to his sestpool* *on the way out the door, i hear a sharp, squeal from a small child. the one that was stuck in the manaties fat roll had worked her hand free and stuck it in the bird cage. peppy, our bird, took offence to this and bit the shit out of her finger. oh yes....there was blood.....* dag- your fucking bird just bit my kid! me- ( /).- not shit...the bird bit her.,....just like i said she would... WELL FUCK ME IM SHOCKED! I CANT BELIVE THAT HAPPENED AFTER I SAID IT WOULD! PRAISE BE TO JESUS! IF A FUCKING MIRICALE.... dumbass) sir if you will remeber and also read one of the many signs on the cage, i said the bird bites and you may want to restrain your kids from sticking there fingers in there. dag- you should have a bird that bites in your main lobby, its a liability. me- (so is having a walrus follow you around, i hear its mating season and they can get testy when horny) well most people dont stick there fingers in a cage with signs on it that say * danger, this bird bites* on it. dag- what about kids? what do you do about that? me- I TELL THERE PARENTS NOT TO LET THEM DO THAT JUST LIKE I DID WITH YOU (YOU DUMB FUCK) dag- *evil look* me- *eviler grin* (your move bitch....) *dag walks out with out further conflict* -2 HOURS LATER- *phone rings* me-.........no....were full.....im not answering *ring,ring,ring* me- i swear the fuck to god that i will set you on fire if you say "do you have any rooms left" *ring ring ring* me- i get it...for fuck sake......*ahem* rsml dag- hey me- yes sir dag- we aint got no sheets, for 165 a night i expect to have extra sheets. me- have you checked the drawers in the.... dag- yes we looked everywhere me- (how about your wifes fat ass? huh, didnt think so) ok no problem we have them down here in the office. dag- run me up a set *hangs up* me-.....dafuq? FUCK YOU! *goes back to reading "the fall of five" and eating m&m's* 30 MINS LATER *dag walks in* dag- hey, wheres my sheets? i thought i told you to run them up to me me- im sorry i must have forgot (FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHEETS) *dags family walks in, goes to the pool to swim* dag- you mean i have to actually come down to get the sheets i need? me-im sorry for the trouble but im the only one here right now and cant leave the desk dag- fine....ill get the sheets later then. *dag walks out to the pool* -later that day_ me- *looking at the security cams in the pool area* ....und her vee hove zee megestic hoomp back whale in ur natural habilitat. und watch as shee floots gracafully true ze wotur......*phone rings*....damn it! thats was a spot on Jacques Cousteau impression! *anwers phone* me- front desk guest- yes my daughter was just down there and she went to the ladies room and she said it was so dirty that she felt like she needed a shower me-(oh no...thats not good...no no no no no!) im sorry mam i will go and look into that right now guest- she said it was like a wild animal was in there me-.....O.O (the shebeast!) yes mam i wil....... guest- she says it was everywher me- mam guest- the nastiest me- maaaam guest- like a bomb went of me- MAM! guest- yes? me- ill take care of that. guest- ok thank you me- *click!* me-..... this can only mean one thing.....the shebeast....she took a duce! *gets up to check bathroom, upon entering venting area im hit with a fragrance of shit so foul that im sure that it could make satan himself say "GAWD DAYUM!"* me- holy fuckers! *opens womens room door* me-....O.O.....mother of god...... *im not sure who or what was in there but this is what i imagin happened* Poultrygeist Night of the Chicken Dead fat guy crapping - YouTube me- im sooooo not cleaning this up...... *locks doors and goes home*
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sixteenbees · 6 years ago
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Endgame thoughts (spoilers)
Tony and Nebula baby!!!
miss Carol Danvers carrying a whole ass ship down from space
in this whole movie she's just got such big dick energy
thanos in a t-shirt? no.
"I went for the head."
ffffiiiive?? YYYYEEAAARSS.
a rat accidentally saving Scott is the most on-brand thing for him
Scott looking for Cassie's name
their reunion and the knowledge he never got to see her grow up :(((
what just like happened to Cassie?? was she with her mum?
Natasha and Carol's hair
carol really out here being a lesbian huh
Tony didn't wanna try time travelling but can you blame him? he didn't want to lose anything else
looking at the photo of Peter SLAYED me
Peter as his motivation oh lordy
let your kid brush her damn teeth Tony
"go to sleep or I'll sell all your toys" is me as a parent
Valkyrie!!! it was so good to see her
bless poor chubby thor. I really hated the way they turned that PTSD and his whole character into a sloppy three hour fat joke
Korg. need I say more?
did they have to make the fortnite joke
the whole time travel test scene was iconic
I do not really like Bruce like Big Green Dumbass, that said
Scott and the taco
clint!!!!!!!! absolutely stunning you little arrow man
my soul though when he runs towards his kids he hasn't seen in five years and they bamf him out
Natasha saying "see you in a minute" before they go back in time and SHE NEVER SEES THEM AGAIN
"smash some things" "This is probably gratuitous but okay"
....*fake hulk noises*
"That's America's ass!"
One Scott Lang being an absolute fanboy over Cap
"Bucky.. is.. alive.." "What?" *BAM*
the way Steve leans in and whispers "hail Hydra" I see you Marvel making a nod to "Steve was actually hydra"
after Scott gives 2012 Tony cardiac arrest and thor helps him with Mjolnir and he's like "aw nice I had no idea if that was going to work" had me cackling
loki
the whole fucking bit of getting the stones in new York was quality cinema
thor seeing his mum ah bless I wanted to give him a hug
he got so excited when he could still call Mjolnir aww
I'm just imaging rocket fuckin LEAPING on Jane and rugby tackling her to get the stone out
people making fun of Tony's beard in the 70s
"you weren't actually born here right"
Tony talking to his dad was so pure and sweet
Steve seeing Peggy and SHE'S STILL GOT HIS PHOTO
peggy doesn't even speak in this movie and she's still iconic
"Thank you for everything.... you've done for this country"
YOOoo JARVIS
the space team being all excited warmed my soul
quill singing at the start of gotg
also hardly speaks in this movie but yeah I love him
literally every single thing Thanos does in this movie makes me nervous fuck him
gamora :(
this is vormir... this is where thanos... oh Wait oh NO FUK
"Oh, Liebchen" Yeah sometimes you forget a character is a nazi
clint and nat fighting to be the one to let the other go free with the stone
"Tell my family I love them" "you tell them yourself"
God I was Shaking so nervous throughout this whole bit
"please let me go" NatashaAAAAAAAAA
clint crying for her broke my heart
the fact that he got the stone means he really loves her and that makes it all WORSE
them all fighting to be the one to put on the gauntlet... a lil bit of foreshadowing?
thor wanting to so he can do something right kills me
legit thought Bruce conked it for a sec
clint when Laura called!!!!
"guys I think it work-" when I tell you I jumped
thanos the lazy thot get ur rocks urself
CAP WITH MJOLNIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
when cap is literally about to take on thanos alone and then..
all of them coming back from the snap HECK
I cried of sheer joy it was a beautiful scene and I adored it
AVENGERS ASSEMBLE
Peter being so excited to tell Tony what happened and being a clueless lil bean and Tony is just happy to have his son back
"Oh this is nice"
CAPTAIN MARVEL'S ENTRANCE WOOO
"I'm Peter Parker" "Hey Peter Parker, you got something for me?"
all marvel women: signing the adoption papers
Hope Van Dyne!! what a Babes!
"you will" OOH GIRL I got chills
Wanda nearly completely decimated thanos singlehandedly and that is what caused him to bring out the army which I love
Peter and gamora
"she's got help" was so powerful and goddamn sexy
can we get an avengers style movie with these ladies?
Carol not even flinching when thanos punched her I got down on one knee what a queen
when Tony just knew what he had to do
and that was about when I realised too
"I am inevitable" a kick line is INEVITABLEEEEE
No but really the reply to that being "I am iron man"
"Mr Stark? we won" somehow worse than "I don't wanna go"
"you can rest now. " Oh pepper potts
my tear ducts,,, ooh boy I sobbed
Bucky knows where cap is going and he's not coming back
I do think they love each other very much and Mr Steven Grant Rogers cannot have just lived a whole lifetime without Bucky
peggy
the blissed out look on his face
caps whole ending
sam as the new cap!
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greatamericansatan · 8 years ago
Text
Edgie Comics: on TV
Content Warning: Statutory Rape, Homophobia, Biphobia, Eating Disorders, Fatphobia, let me know if u think I should mention anything else…
Social justice score: 1 out of 5
So Archie Comics got hella weird in the Nü Millennium, with attempts at maintaining relevance by reaching different audiences. One of those tacks was to make a series of serious adult-ish comics with edgy elements written by Mark Waid. Now adult-ish edgy Archie is on The CW and to kill a minute I’m watching the first episode. Thoughts as they come… 1) They open with a mystery about a wet dead teen in a forested town with secrets, so Twin Peaks is being explicitly homaged. We’ll see how that goes. The editing, pace, and pretty much everything is too modern TV to evoke David Lynch, but whatever. Total ripoffs are embarrassing.
2) They say Cole Sprouse – who is I guess a disney expat / internet celeb – is pushing to have his character be asexual, as he is in current comic canon (which itself is very consistent with the character over the years spurning love for cheeseburgers). So coo, but then, I’ve heard rumor Sprouse is a crappy dude, so ehhhhh. As I mentioned he’s playing Jughead here, and in a move that surprised me, he’s acting as the Doogie Howseresque laptop-typing narrator of the show.
3) Betty’s gay best friend type espied Archie’s new hot bod from the house across the way and was like, hubba hubba. Gay lust is edgy. But at the same time, he described Arch as “swell,” not “swole.” So they’re mixing the edge with the faux-retro cheese. Another Twin Peaks point.
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                                                   heyoooooo!
4) LUKE PERRY AS ARCHIE’S DAD!?! I love it. He has aged into Bryan Cranston, but without current success adding “importance” to the performance.
5) Hey Reggie is Asian. And a beefy all-American jock jerkbro, so getting away from the usual stereotypes in at least one department. Cool.
6) Oh so gay best friend is the gay character from Archie Comics circa now, named Kevin Keller. And they hung a lampshade on the trope. No escaping stereotypes for this lone homosexual.
7) The Pussycats are all black girls. Hello there. Kinda sassy, not sure if that’s canon or stereotypes. Either way, shutting down the intruding white boy, so good job. Sugar Sugar sucks anyhow. (I think the actor playing Arch is a wee bit Maori but not sure, nonetheless he’s white in this story.)
8) Holy shit. Sexy Miss Grundy?!?!? This might be the case in the comics too, I never read them. Only caught a bit of press. Well, it’s statutory rape time, whatever the case. Hooray?
9) Mädchen Amick’s name in credits? Also we’re just now seeing credits? Ah, she was Betty’s mom, didn’t recognize. Well, Twin Peaks point three.
10) Luke Perry again, boy, he seems as smoked out as he did in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So chill. And yet, we’re probably supposed to buy him pooping on Archie’s dream of playing shitty pop songs, instead of being more like Tommy Chong letting Rae Dawn be in all the movies.
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                                                  just add weed
11) Oh god no, it’s the actual songs they’re doing for Archie. Coming soon to a Starbucks near you. x_X bleeeeah
12) GBF: “Is cheerleading still a thing?” Cheerleader: “Is being the gay best friend still a thing?” Oh, sick burn. Homophobia is totally equivalent to mocking school clubs. Plus the lampshading wasn’t even working the moment the character appeared, now it’s totally shot to hell. You don’t get to call your own writing sucky preemptively to hope the audience won’t criticize it.
13) Was the cheerleader implying Betty’s meal of a muffin, an apple, some vague leaf, and water might make her too fat to cheerlead? Good times. Even from a character we’re clearly not supposed to like, I don’t accept this. For now tho, I feel like I can press on. For the sake of this review. I did, after all, finish the second season of The Strain.
Yes. She was saying she was too fat. And how to help her feel better? To say, oh no you aren’t fat. Because being fat is inherently bad, rather than something that only sucks because of diet industry moolah-fueled fatphobia saturating our culture. That’s what I want to think about during my entertainments.
14) Veronica calls Betty “queen bae of the strive hive.” I have to admit, I never watched the recent teen shows like Glee and what-have-you, but this seems a bit much. First hint of bisexualities on show tho?
15) Fuccck more Archie moaning musics with sexy Grundy listening in the sexfully dimmed music hall. But she seems reticent. No statutory rape for you today, Mr. Andrews. Oh, it’s time for murder mystery stuff. Didn’t see that coming.
16) Oh and now the edgy girl on girl kiss from the trailers for the show. And the context? This makes negative ten thousand sense. It’s offensive and foolish as hell. So Veronica’s bisexuality is just for show, great, that isn’t a biphobic trope against women or anything. My dude points out this writing would make sense in the context of a porno, if not anywhere else.
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                    something foolish and offensive happened
17) This Mean Girls stuff isn’t really for me, so I don’t feel qualified to comment. Though it seems like they’re kinda rushing the development here, and will pay for it with filler episodes later in the season.
18) This polyamory tease will not last.
19) After school specialing across the universe. The more u know, the more u grow.
20) In this scene with Arch & Dad, did Arch just imply losing his virginity to statutory rapist made him a manly musical brooder?
21) Luke Perry defied expectations to be the understanding dad what tells u to follow ur star but with the great power-great responsibility Uncle Ben undercurrent. He will be the show’s conscience, won’t he?
22) “This post-James Franco world”… Veronica is kinda fun. I dunno.
23) Salacious gay biz must be mentioned but not seen. It’s only 2017. We’re not ready yet. Maybe when the world is on fire and we get a Movida Madrileña as the Trump dynasty begins to decay.
24) Spin the bottle to “ride the ginger stallion.” Sounds legit. Carry on.
25) Arch & Veronica in the closet. As they stand so close, things heatin’ up, she ends up looking cross-eyed and I wonder, does that happen to everyone when they try to make eye contact at close range?
26) Oh god we looped back to Sprousehead at the all nite diner. Narration again. Lay it on me, guy… Nope. Nothing of interest happened.
27) This big Archie Betty sad scene is what it is. She’s doing a good enough job of acting, he’s losing points because he has to be too manly to express big feels. “Yr 2 good 4 me” that’s some tired biz. Don’t hate yourself because you’re a rape victim, Archie. That’s my generous interpretation of his act here. I find Betty has a kinda cute nerd voice, didn’t really notice it before. Maybe it gets more charming with snotty tear time.
29) Jug narration continues beyond his scene. We did get the excuse for it – he’s novelizing the town’s dramas. But how does he know everything? French fry-based divination? Potatomancy?
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                            jughead jones, potatomancer
30) A little hint of gay cocks that must forever be blocked, and a body is found to bring the show to a close. Mysteries! People standing around! Look at each other meaningfully. You know you wanna watch a season of this…
In the end, I only watched it because Archie Comics are a weird-ass American institution. Their mere continued existence at the supermarket checkout stand amuses me. As for the show? Arch looks too damn square-jawed and is too manly to show believable emotions. Stephen Amell on The Arrow is similarly the least expressive character on his show and still more believable than Arch.
The Archie/Veronica/Betty drama so far doesn’t seem too mean-spirited or egregiously sexist, might be the best thing on the show. They center the shared coming of age stories theme and it works fine, just not my thing. Anyone who saw the trailer and imagined you might see ladies lovin’ ladies should give it a hard pass. Even if they do tease with that later in the season, there’s no way they’ll stay with it, given the history of the characters.
As for the Twin Peaks homage, if you want the candy-coated parody of the visual style plus only the soap opera elements of the plot, you’re in luck. Otherwise, nuh. And for the show in its own right? I saw nothing to keep me around. The gay stuff is a side joke / tease job that will yield absolutely nothing of importance in the long run. I’m not that into soap operas with no fantasy, scifi, action, or horror element. I’ve never watched The OC, Party of Five, Beverly Hills 90210, etc. If any of you have more experience with that genre and saw this show, what did you think of it?
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fallenfirebird · 8 years ago
Conversation
Europe is seriously the biggest drama queen of all time
*one Austrian king emperor heir person gets killed*
Austria: fUCK YOU SYRIA THIS MEANS WAR
Syria: bRING IT BEYOTCH
Like ten other countries and a couple empires: YAY VIOLENCE ARGUMENTS WE ARENT GONNA DIE AT ALL LET ME IN I WANNA JOIN but this'll all be over by Christmas right I mean I'd hate to miss presents
Neutral Europe countries: OOOOOO FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT WHERE'S THE BETTING TABLE
Germany: What was the original point of all this again I WANT POWER GIMME POWER
Canada: Good 👍🏼luck with 👍🏼that 👍🏼mate 👍🏼I'm 👍🏼rooting 👍🏼for 👍🏼you 👍🏼honest👍🏼 oKAY QUÉBEC GET YOUR STUPID FRENCH ASS OVER HERE HELP US KICK GERMANY'S ASS
Quebec: *flips the bird @ Europe+Canada* lol later fuckers
Europe: CANADA YOU HYPOCRITE YOU SAID YOUD HAVE 500,000 MEN NOT 256,000 WHERES THE REST
Canada: IM SORRY IM DEALING WITH IT YOU KNOW HOW THE FRENCH ARE okay u know what I give up Quebec if they leave Europe and come here we'll talk more if not I could care less about you and your French logic
Quebec: *just smile and nod like you give a damn*
Europe: okay well fUCK U AND UR MOM
Canada: yOU ARE LITERALLY MY MOM. WTF BRO. WTF.
World: gdi I thought you guys said this would be over by Christmas
Europe: JFC RUSSIA WHERE ARE YOU WE NEED YOU
Russia: I'M TOO FAT ;-;
America: YES HELLO THE HEROES HAVE ARRIVED
World: THANK YOU MAYBE NOW WE CAN ACTUALLY GET SOMEWHERE
France: ...whatever's going on over there, back to us and well HAH TAKE THAT GERMANY WE'RE GOING TO BASICALLY KILL YOUR COUNTRY AND CULTURE AND EVERYTHING SPECIAL ABOUT YOU THAT'S FOR TRYING TO KILL ME- ER, US
...
...
...
Germany, 20 years later: yEs HeLlO i SaId I wAnTeD pOwEr NoT tO bE tHrOwN iN tHe TrAsH, aNd By FRANCe Of AlL pEoPlE.
France: ">_> oshit
Germany: lol ya bitch I'm talkin to you
Japan: OOOOOOOOO I WANT IN I WANT IN GIVE ME MORE POWER FEEL THE WRATH OF THE TINY ISLAND CHINA THIS IS FOR DOUBTING ME btw the rest of you Asians are screwed too because MORE POWER YAY
Asia: oh for the love of- "T_T not you too
World: *glaring daggers at Europe* yknow y'all were the ones that started this shit in the first place you people are seriously overgrown kindergarteners
Europe:
Germany: :D POWER :D
Europe:
Europe: .........well fuck
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