#like cmon Tammy I thought you were for they/them

[gayabeilles]

I keep getting this one attack ad on youtube that’s like “Tammy Baldwin is for they/them, not us” and I’m like Eric you don’t have to sell it to me

[southparktexts]

Enemies to lovers with the main four?

i love this concept so much anon !! thank you !!!

Enemies to lovers w/ main four

Kyle :

- i know damn well you guys became enemies because of grades.

- academic award fights.

- this literally all happened because you two wrote on the same topic but you had one mark more than kyle.

- gave you the biggest side eye

“I can’t believe that THEY out of all people got 100! i got 99 why couldn’t i just get a 100, it was the same topic!”

“…dude. y/n is kinda smart its not that surprising.”

- he complains about you whenever you ‘beat’ him with grades

- you dont even know he got beef with you tbh 😭

- you guys didnt even talk at all, you were just in the same class as him unironically.

- one day, you got paired up with him for a history presentation

- he literally rolled his eyes when he heard that and had a mood when you talked to him.

“so.. ill to information and research and you can summarise my points?”

“yeah. whatever. i don’t care.”

- eventually, after days of the two of you guys doing the project he realised you weren’t that bad of a person.

- i can see, after you guys did your presentation he would ask to be your partner more and you happily accepted

- one day, after having kyle over to do another assignment the two of you went to mcdonald’s together.

- that was probably the first time he talked to you, outside of school work.

- he definitely caught feels for you

- unironically invited you to game night with the main 4

“..dude i thought you hated her.”

“….shes not that bad.”

“I TOLD YOU THAT??”

- definitely got jealous when kenny tried flirting with you.

- after that he unironically got more touchy with you.

- holding hands when you guys hung out after studying maths together.

- one day he asked his dad for advice and he said just to ask you out.

- he did… on text.

- my guy wrote a whole essay on you.

Eric :

- you guys definitely became prank wars enemies. full stop.

- prank wars.

- this definitely started because eric thought it would be funny to put a whopee cushion on your seat

- you saw it before you sat down and he got so fucking pissed.

“WHO DOES THIS BITCH THINK THEY ARE? NOT EVEN SITTING DOWN ON IT. WHAT THE FUCK.”

“fatass it isn’t that personal.”

- from there you and him back to back prank each other.

- ..they got worse as they progressed.

- he put a lot of laxatives and arbys sauce into your lunch once

- in return you put a lot of melatonin into his milk and made him sleep during an exam.

- yall are both fucked up like that 😭

- definitely spends a lot of time thinking how he can prank you and you do the same.

- you’re the only thing on his mind at this point.

“i fucking hate how that BITCH is always one step ahead of me.”

“you gotta admit.. theyre kinda hot..”

“NO KENNY. NO.”

“cartman you talk about them a little too much, its like you like them or something.”

“WHAT?! NO. CMON GUYS.”

“..sure fatass.”

- after stan said that he started questioning his feelings towards you.

- he kinda realised you both are kinda similar in your own fucked up way.

- after that day he made a glitter bomb card with a note inside telling you to meet him at his house.

- you arrived and you guys actually worked out well..

- gradually eric started introducing kenny into the group.

- the three of you started planning pranks on the teacher.

- eventually eric started falling. hard.

- you were always so funny and unique with pranks and he loved that.

- eventually asked you out with a cupcake.

“will you go out with me?”

“hm? yeah sure. ..this cupcake doesn’t have arbys sauce and laxatives in it, does it..?”

Kenny :

- to be honest time !! i personally think you guys wouldn’t be enemies.

- more just mutual annoyance.

- i feel like hes not the type to personally hate someone.

- the only reason he would find you annoying is because you would take the girls when he was trying to flirt with them.

“hey doll.”

“you’re talking to me?”

“oh tammy !! exactly who i was looking for!”

- he gets so annoyed because each time he was trying to talk to them you’d interrupt and drag them away to talk to them.

- one day he was fed up with it but didn’t do anything about it.

“how come y/n knows literally every girl i try to flirt with?!”

“because dude, y/n is cool and popular. their going to know everyone dude.”

“yeah bro.”

“plus they hang around the girls as well”

- after that, you kinda stopped hanging around the girls since they were doing a whole protest about something that you didnt want to be involved with.

- kenny eventually just say you walking around the school, just being yourself.

- he oddly, like it. he liked seeing you act like yourself. not pretend like you did with the girls.

- eventually he invited you to game night with the boys.

- you guys played dnd and had fun!

- after that, kenny would invite you to game night more and you eventually unironically replaced butters.

- you and kenny slowly became close friends and he became more possessive over you.

- one day he had enough of these thoughts about you and just asked you out out of the blue.

“hey y/n! doll!”

“hm? oh hey ken.”

“wanna date?”

“uh sure?”

Stan :

- if im going to be honest.. he doesn’t get enemies, except for craig.

- he definitely gets angry but doesn’t hate you.

- he probably got jealous because of you though, that what ticked him off.

- this is probably right after stan and wendy broke up

- you were wendy’s friend but also being stans.

- he once saw you comforting wendy and he got jealous.

“that backstabbing bitch! y/n is with wendy right now.”

“..dude i thought you said you were over wendy.”

“i- i am but still!”

- complained about you to the boys, slowly he would have something against you.

- since you were also friends with him he would give you a moody response when he replied back.

“how are you holding up, stan?”

“fine. just fine. its not like you care.”

- became more cold and colder.

“god look at y/n over there. at the swings with wendy.”

“dude, why are you looking at y/n so much. do you like them or something.”

“what?? no?”

- he kept looking over at you and he slowly started noticed little details of you.

- how you bite your nails when your shy, how pretty you look when your studyin.. wait.. what..

- slowly started noticing more details about you and since you were friends with him he would hang out with you more.

- became more touchy while you hang out.

- he realised now you were just being nice to both sides. trying to be there for both.

- wrapping his arms around your waist while you two walked together.

- blushing as you talk to him.

- eventually he bottles up all his feels about you and breaks down but in a good way?

- going to your house at 3am, crying as you hold him in your arms on your bed.

“and- and my dad keeps putting all this pressure and me and i love you and its so fucking difficult.”

“i know stan, i know… its alright.. wait. you love me..?”

[kaleschmidt]

TKP Dungeon Meshi AU

okay so this started out as just me wanting to draw Kale + laios together but now. It's a whole damn au in my head and now i must make it everyone's problem forever. i'm keeping this relatively free of spoilers for both tkp + dunmeshi unless asked otherwise soo.. rambles under cut!

so first of all. um. i don't have all of the tkp chars. sorry guys. specifically, charon + percy are the ones i'm having the most trouble thinking of. they're supposed to be ANDROIDS... i can't figure what would be a good equivalent of that. otherwise if they had to be an actual species, i think they'd probably both be elves- maybe part of the canaries? i also like the thought of kobold percy

january. cmon. she's halfling. okay. half-stealing this from quentin but also it just makes sense. 🤏. i was thinking of tammi as a gnome at first but i can't lie. i think ogre tammi would be so wonderous and cool. or kobold... hm. hard choices

mena.. i think mena is just a normal tallman. "what's vinnie" don't worry about vinnie. okay. he's. normal. normal. (said unconvincingly). lulu i'm debating between full or half-elf because she MIGHT be of nobility

SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT SVEN??? SORRY KING. i think they would be a gnome though. i think he'd use a bit of magic to help him around but it's not something they use often i.e. in regards to the spirits being treated kindly with favor. you get it

some of these choices aren't really permanent choices so if i think about it more or get some input they might change in the future..

okay. now. the main guys. the main 6. so! for reasons i still have yet to come up with yet, the main 6 teamed up together as a dungeon-travelling team! i think they bump into the touden group at least once ^_^ . there's not an exact leader, but aster n naomi kinda co-lead! they fill in each others faults through their leadership (aster being too harsh with their leadership + naomi being too soft with hers). chazz volunteered for leadership and was prominently shut down </3. they hate a bitch.

now okay let me split the main 6 out.

aster

so first of all. their name in the au would be asterisk begonia! only friends can call them just by aster. they're an elf. They taught themself some magic, with the rest being from their school, before they dropped out for reasons they are NOT going into. they're pretty much the mage of the group, but they've been teaching the group some basic spells on the occassion that something happens to them because they'd rather DIE than have the whole team fucking flunk. chazz refuses. aster is going to kill it.

not a really important detail but also kinda is. ver staff has a big ass bow on it. this is important i lied. i think its sweets

naomi

i. have no idea where she comes from. i KNOW the kennedys would most likely come from the northern, but that's all. sorry naomi of ???. anyways she's half halfling + half-dwarf, leaning dwarf. Due to being half halfling she has some magic bone in her but she still gets mana sickness easily. she uses a big ass hammer tho so it's fine forever ^_^!! I feel like she'd be studying dwarf tech in order to modify the team's weapons somehow (not exactly blacksmithing but also kinda? the steampunkness of it all ig)

i havent really come up with all of how dayshift would go in this au so. Dont worry too much about it. also some stuff is spoilers. so. next ramble maybe.

chazz

ohhh god. who let that bitch be a halfling. god. fuck. shit. its full name is chazzsaw. no one knows its last name and NEVER WILL!!! yknow thinking about the hair colors n such in dunmeshi, most of them are pretty naturally colored arent they... minus some elves' white hair. so basically we're getting nongenta chazz. scary.

so chazz i've been vaguely bouncing around. first of all she's bunking with darrell! before the two of them joined the main 6, the two of them often went into dungeon parties together. not all of them were good, though- whether chazz was getting used as bait or people were ganging up on darrell. basically the main 6 is one of the best groups the two of them have ended up in. chazz, much like in canon, often conflicts with aster and although he jokes about using magic to be a funny little goofster, he has no interest in actually using magic. She'll do just fine with her halfling shenanigans!

chazz is one char i thought about interacting with the canon chars.. i feel conflicted about how she'd feel about laios. on one hand i can see her hearing about the touden group's monster grub shit and being like "shiiiit. we need that. aster what the fuck are you TEACHING us you should be teaching us HOW TO MAKE A GOOD ASS MEAL OUTTA THOSE MONSTERS" but at the same time . i think chazz would be reminded of phil in some capacity. DAMN YOU BLONDE MAphil isn't blonde in this au technically but he's still blonde in spirit so. yea. also he'd be half-tallman half-halfling i think. that's all the thought he's getting

FUCK I FORGOT CHAZZ'S ROLE. OOOOPPS. um. chazz is like? the thief? rogue? chazz has small daggers that it keeps on its person at least. its got no interest in helping with traps physically but sure lets throw this huge ass rock there <3. i think he'd find chilchuck funny and have like a little respect for him but if she had to be in a team with him she might bite his head off (exaggeration

darrell

DARRELL!!!! he's the resident normie of the group. the tallman. like i mentioned in chazz's section, he and chazz used to join random dungeon groups! his parents don't really approve of it and told him that he could always just come back home and work for them but!!!! he's very adamant that he can help make a living! also his parents don't like chazz and chazz would have nowhere to go if he were to leave :[... so darrell's really keen on making it big with the main 6

something i've been spinning around since i started writing this... hear me out. darrell with the bow and arrow. okay. I think he'd still have a melee weapon if he were to run out of ammo (good ol sword?) but otherwise vi's more comfortable with ranged combat. chazz likes to act like target practice and darrell's screaming and sobbing (EXAGGERATION.)

psike

psichael my best friend psichael my bff psichael. i miss nem. fuck. (NOT THE MAIN POINT OF THIS SECTION?????????) anyways. chazz still names nem but whether or not ne still ends up with the name "psike" is debatable. DON'T LET CHAZZ COOK 🔥🔥🔥🔥 anyways other than that. psike is half-elf half-tallman, with eir mom being a tallman! don't. worry about nis dad. okay. anyways! before the main 6, psike was often this mysterious, hooded figure that randomly appeared in dungeons. ne primarily appeared to groups/people that were in places where no one would be able to find them + were on the verge of death/dead. people would recall being revived/healed with no evidence of who did it, with some reporting catching a glimpse of their savior before the savior disappeared. sometimes psike would help via actively attacking, but this was very rare. tbh this might've been how ne and chazz met

anyways! psike is pretty good with magic- especially healing + resurrection magic. knows some ancient magic too... ofc, psike has nis limits, but it's pretty high. In combat, Psike tries to be quick on nis feet but sometimes just. shuts down, so ne's usually on the sidelines, where ne doesn't have to fully deal with the combat, but can still help. if there's someone who wouldn't be terribly picky about eating monsters, i think it would be psike

kale

KALE. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. (BEATING THE FLOOR SO INTENSELY IT CAVES IN) hmm yes. i'm normal now. (affirmation). i'd love to talk about him in detail but. he's so spoilerpilled. i hope he explodes into 5 million flames. SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN THAT. okay anyways. we'll settle for the nonspoilered version and if the people want the rampant spoilery ramble then they can ask...

so! kale! :)! kale! my friend kale. kale. my friend kale. i think about how he possibly ran into aster n naomi... maybe at a tavern or smth? i can see him being like "hoho ! i will gladly join anyone's dungeon group for free ^_^!!!! all these people are so nice and will not betray my trust in any way!" and naomi is like "aster we need to save that poor strange guy". then again maybe like in his debut, it's just naomi who's at the tavern and hears kale's thing and is like "oh they're not going to survive the winter......." and then convinces aster to let kale join permanently, after a few adventures??

oh something important. kale is ALWAYS clad in armor. never takes that shit off. he's sleeping oh so comfortably in his heavy ass armor <3! also the armor is wolf-themed it's important you guys know this until i get to draw him up. No one knows what race he is and kale tends to steer off the topic somehow. he's too tall to be an average tallman, but he couldn't be an ogre either... huh. not too related but his and psike's relationship is A Bit Abysmal. Psike tends to avoid dealing with him 1 on 1 a lot

kale's the other guy i think about regarding canon relationships! he'd find laios SUUUCCCHHH a joy. they're frolicking in the hills together. the thing is. kensuke doesn't seem to like kale... what a shame!

OH OH SOMETHING EXTRA IMPORTANT I FORGOT TO MENTION. part of me feels like kale's name wouldn't be kale in here. haven't decided what it would be, if that's the case tho.

anywyas. thats all. its almost 3 am rn enjoy + feel free to ask questions!

[ultraklll]

Tony Miller as a Gun For Hire! Tagged by the lovely @envyfelled ! Ty! This was super fun! Also, I'm on mobile, so sorry for the garbo formatting! (Fun fact, tonys voice claim is laura bailey as fiona/fem!boss)

Paired With Fangs For Hire:

Boomer - "Heya buddy!" followed by excessive scratching behind the ears | "Fuckin' love this dog, can sniff out a peggie like shark sniffing out blood. Good trait to have! Awfully convenient too…" | [patpatapatptpataptap] | "Atta fuckin' boy Boomer!" When she sees him get a kill | "Who's a good boy! Who wants to kill some cultists!" | "Wanna play fetch? Rip out their necks?"

Peaches - "Good girl…" | stealth gang stealth gang | peaches: mows down peggies/tony: a baby!" | "I jus' think it's funny that when we went to the Henbane, we picked up a cougar, Addie, an actual cougar, Peaches, and joined a crew called the Cougars… Just'a thought," 

Cheeseburger - "This reminds me'a Vegas pride, saw plenty'a bears there too" | "Kinda ironic to find you in Jacob's region, all things considered," [snickers to herself] | [PATPATPATPATPATPAT] | "Get outta my pockets! These snacks are mine, not yours!" | "You remind me of those like, beware of dog signs, but the dog is always a sweetheart who'd rather play with a home invader rather than attack them," 

Paired With Other Guns For Hire:

Jess - stealth gang stealth gang stealth gang | Jess has a MASSIVE crush on Tony. Everyone can tell. Tony knows | jess: guns are fucking lame and the sniper rifle is the cowards weapon/ tony: uses a sniper rifle/ jess: actually sniper rifles are cool as fuck | "Good shot Jess!" "S-shit, um, thanks, Tony," 

Grace - sniper gang sniper gang!! | [steals a headshot Grace was lining up] "Cmon Gracie, thought you were meant to be Olympic level!" | highly competitive, do a shot whenever they get a perfect headshot to die instantly | smug top solidarity | also heavily depressed solidarity 

Adelaide - [acts like she's not sleeping with her nephew even tho Addie knows she definitely knows] | Tony is either constantly laughing or constantly face palming over the shit addie says | have gotten into an argument once bc addie said john was a top 

Nick - "What's up eye in the sky?" | [flirts over radio] [flirts over radio] [flirts over radio] [fli | Nick: speaks/Tony: god I just love the way you fucking talk | often talk about kim together | "Can we have a barbecue at your place once these fuckers are dealt with?" | [pretends not to be bitter the Deputy got to help deliver Carmina and not her]

Sharky - "Heya baby!" | [constant back and forth flirting. It's embarrassing] | any second they're both not talking is a second they're making out | Can and Will go john wick on some peggy ass if he gets hurt badly | "Do you wanna have a sleepover?" "Lemme ask my momma," | she calls him Charlie :> | loves him so so much they're just constantly talking about anything and everything | literally like A Comedic Duo. Have together for certified funnies

Hurk jr. - "Junior! This'll be just like Kyrat!" | competitions about who can shotgun a beer faster every 4 seconds | WILL tell you stories about their time in Kyrat together | Tony has punched Drubman sr in the nose before and she'll do it again | "Hey Tony? You still in contact with Ajay?" "He sends me a royal postcard every now n' then. Apparently it's boring being king, and his only solace is that his new bodyguard is cute," 

In Combat: 

Seeing an enemy - "Fucker in my sights," | "I got a bullet with your name on it… actually I don't, who the fuck has time to carve names in bullets, but you get the idea- im just gonna shoot you now" | "You're dead on arrival, shithead," 

Sneaking - "You'd think me sneaking is counter productive because I'm 6'4 and have a very loud gun, but you're the boss Dep," | "Shhhh… we're huntin' shitheads… Heard it in a game," | [shoots alarm boxes] "You ain't allowed to call your friends, you're all grounded," | *peggy triggers alarm* "Fuckin snitch!" 

Killing an enemy - "SKULLCRACKER!" | "I just don't miss!" | just fucking headshot after headshot after headshot | [sucks in breath through teeth] "God damn I'm good," | when shes not using her Wifle (wife rifle, a 45/70) she's being FUCKING EFFICIENT with her ak-ms or just blasting ribcages open with her shotgun

Reviving - "Up you get, baby," | "You ain't dying on me that easy, Dep" | "Not today Satan!" | "You gonna let some unwashed asshole kill you?" 

Hurt - "Motherfucker!" | "That's another scar I'll tattoo over," | "Thank god people find scars sexy," | "God fuck that's smarts!" 

Downed - "Dep! Give me a hand?" | "Clean up on Aisle 4 needed!" | "Don't worry about me, just bleeding out over here, no rush," 

Revived - "Drinks on me when this is over Dep," | "Thanks babe!" | "I'll kiss you when we get outta this mess," | "I owe ya!"

Driving: 

Entering a vehicle - "Lemme take over I'm a way better driver than you," | "Floor it!" | "Hang on I've got a mixtape, just hope I havent fuckin' crushed it," | [takes the opportunity to roll cigs] | *peggies roll up* "Keep her steady!" [leans out the window and headshots the peggie on their ass, causing them to crash the car, like that isnt the coolest shit you've ever seen] "Aight cool,"

Reckless Driving - "Watch the fuckin' road asshole!" | [desperately tryna grip the wheel so she can take over driving] | "STOP THE CAR! I'LL JUST FUCKING WALK!" | "Are you tryna kill us?! Fuckin' swap seats now!" | tony is the designated driver bc one she's fucking good at it and two shes also a really bad backseat driver. Just let her drive 

Changing Radio Stations - "Now don't tell Charlie I said this but some of the peggies music is actually good,"| "John's a prick but his music taste is fuckin' good," | [punches radio in when Only You comes on] "...Sorry… Force'a habit…" | "Bold and brave my ass, John looks like he needs help getting spiders out of rooms and wears fuzzy pink bathrobes," 

Idle: 

"Man, John's a freak, and yeah I mean that in the sexy way. Someone who demands so much outward control whilst being a shithead little brat likes to get trussed up like a thanksgiving turkey and stuffed like one too. Don't give me that look Dep, I'm right and we both know it," 

"That dude Jacob ate was called Miller?? God, that could've been me if I was much older and way uglier!" 

"Faith just makes me fuckin sad man. She's been manipulated and groomed into this life by fuckin Joseph- she's so goddamn young too. I'm not gonna tell you what to do Dep, but that's just my two cents,"

"Joseph's the worst kind of man- a manipulator. He tells you what you wanna hear, targets the misfortunate who have nothing left to lose, builds a fucking army out of em. The other heralds I'm ok with arresting, but Joseph's got to go,"

[Lights cig with either her fancy lighter or by striking a match on the bottom of her shoe] "Don't start smoking, Dep,  bad for your health," 

Location Specific: 

Testy Festy Aftermath - [pinches bridge of nose] "Not again…" | "Anyone got a water and like, 3 aspirin?" | "Ain't the first time I've woke up passed out in a field, won't be the last," | "Did we at least get a photo from the night? I've won the competitions here for the last 3 years in a row now, I'm not fuckin missing one cuz of these peggies," 

Falls End - "Fuckin shame to see Falls End like this, but Mary May and Jerome will take good care of her now weve got it back, they always do," | "Think we'll get free drinks for life at the Spread Eagle when this is all over? Actually, we probably won't even get free drinks for week, so for life is wishful thinking," | she enjoys playing with the singing fish on the front of the speed eagle and keeps tryna convince Mary May to let her take it for herself bc tony goddamn miller has the biggest singing fish collection in the entire county 

Seed Ranch - *loud whistle* "this place is swanky as fuuuuck… Not that big a fan of all the dead animals though…" | "IS THAT WEED ON THE TABLE? Johnny boy you fuckin' hypocrite!" | "Oh he's definitely got a secret room behind one of these bookshelves, like a home torture room? Oh my God, what if he has more than one...?" [starts frantically pulling books off shelves] | regarding his shelves with peggie memorabilia [takes baseball bat to it] | [pretends she's never been here as she frantically stuffs any of her own belongings she might've forgotten here into her bag]

Entering the Henbane - "Don't trust a goddamn thing you see here. You think you see something you're not supposed to, hit it," | [swinging at bliss induced angel/animal/faith visions] | "Can we try savin' Faith? Don't feel right killin' her, she's so young…" | "Can we go to Sharky's place? I left some stuff there that could be worth picking up,"

Hope County Jail - "Sheriff Whitehorse has always been a good man to me, Dep. Would appreciate it if he lived through this," | "I always feel like a giant whenever I come here, everyones like 5'3. Virgil, Tracey, Charles, all shortasses," | "I think it's cute they gave you a little pin! You're part of their Pride now! Or whatever the cougar equivalent is to a lions pride… do Cougars even travel in packs? Aside from when Addie used take the girls out for drinks,"

Entering the Whitetails - "Always feels like something's watchin' you in these woods. Keep your eyes peeled," | "Always felt like there's something in these woods that there ain't supposed to be…" | [Shifting from foot to foot] "Can we get a move on? Aint'a big fan of standing around waitin' to get shot by some fuckin' sniper with a bow," | [watching Jacob's video punishing Pratt] "I'll fuckin' get you outta here, Stace… you just gotta hold out a second longer," | [about all the dead bodies and 'you are meat' graffiti] "Love what Jacob's done with the place," 

The Wolfs Den - "Eli Palmer is a good fuckin man. Kind, smart, careful and ruthless against peggies. We've made a good friend here, Dep," | "Heya Wheaty! Got a few more vinyls for your collection! They're all my own though, so be careful with em," | "I don't think Tammy likes you that much Dep. I don't think she likes much of anything anymore, other than attaching jumper cables to Peggy's nipples… Oh god, my piercings hurt thinking about it," 

Joseph's Island - [hand firmly on rifle grip] | "Creepy, evil motherfucker, had him pegged right from the start. Well, not pegged. I'm not pegging Joseph. I'd rather stick my dick in a ceiling fan then go anywhere near him- I'm just gonna stop talking," | "You know what? No one else has asked it so I'm gonna- where the fuck does Joseph sleep.  In the church? In one of these houses? In the dirt somewhere? What if he hangs upside down from trees like a bat?"