#like can u believe we’re the same age

[mikeslawyer]

i’m listening to some podcast featuring finn wolfhard and i always forget how funny he is lmfao

just heard him say “i’m a privileged fucking dick” and then he went on to talk about how his friends are mean to him to humble him 😭

[luveline]

Hotch request! Please sir, can I have a Hotch request? I'm trying to follow what you said about comfort but also Hotch being angry. So I get low blood sugars cause of my diabetes and I'd love if you wrote something about them being on a case and BAU!Reader is really busy trying to get stuff done, so she has a bad low blood sugar and sits down but one of the local officers thinks she's slacking off so she tries to keep going and Hotch comes in and defends her, making sure she has everything she needs and doesn't faint. Love you <3

ty for requesting!! hope this is okay <3 fem, 1.3k

“I understand.” You frown, phone pressed to your ear hard. “I totally understand, but it’s really important that I get to talk to her.” 

“She’s on heavy medication,” the nurse replies, unimpressed by your asking, “she wouldn’t be much use anyhow.” 

“I understand, but–”

“Listen, I’m sorry, but we have a lot to do here. I’m sorry we can’t help. Bye.” 

You groan in frustration, bringing your phone from your ear to see the Call Disconnected notification flash across your screen. How are you and the team ever supposed to get answers if nobody wants to help? Your head rushes. You kid yourself into believing it’s annoyance like a hot flash, you’ve been sweaty for ages, but then reality cuts through. What usually makes you sweaty and dizzy?

“Where’s my test kit?” you murmur to yourself. 

The door opens while you’re looking through your bag. 

“Agent,” Officer Debs greets, a stout, sturdy woman with sharp eyes, “any news from Georgetown Psychiatric?” 

You rummage frustratedly through your things. You should know better than to misplace your test kit. Doesn’t matter. You’ll just have to eat something quickly before you get any worse. “Uh, no, nothing they could help me with.” 

“Did you call them?” 

Your eyelids are getting heavier. You sit down on impulse, worried you’re gonna fall if you stay standing. “Yeah, I called them.” You’ve had diabetes for long enough to know what to do, but it’s always harder than it felt the last time when your blood sugar drops. It can be so sudden. 

Realising you might need help, you clear your throat, about to ask Officer Debs if she can get the glucose tablets from your bag. You should’ve grabbed them —your thoughts are starting to thicken like someone’s poured cornflour into your skull. 

“Is now the best time for a break?” Officer Debs asks. 

You focus very hard on bringing your attention into the present. “No, sorry,” you say, standing up. You open your phone and direct to the contacts page, clicking your favourite contact at the very top. 

Don’t know m where test kit is, you text clumsily. Hotch should still be in the precinct. Do u have it ? 

“I hope you’re texting someone about the case,” Officer Debs says sternly. 

You shove your phone into your pocket. “Um,” you say, getting confused now, and not wanting to be shouted at. You grab for the page of phone numbers you’d been making your way through, can’t get your hands to work. “I wasn’t. But I’m getting to it.” 

“We really don’t have time to waste.” 

“I know, but my blood sugar–”

She talks over you. “What’s the point in all our officers working day and night when you FBI agents can’t be bothered to put in the same effort?” Her voice rises. “It’s ridiculous!”

“It’s not ridiculous, we’re trying our best just like you are.”

“Clearly not!” 

“My blood sugar,” you say, more insistently. “Stop shouting at me.” 

The door opens quickly, creaking hard on its hinge. Hotch doesn’t slam it open, he never slams anything, but he doesn’t hesitate either. “I have it, you left it in the car after you tested this morning,” he says, your kit in his hand. He gives Officer Debs a surprised up and down. “Who’s shouting?” he asks, unimpressed. 

You wouldn’t like to be on his bad side. “Hotch, I need a tablet.” 

If he’s shocked at your lethargy, he doesn’t say. He ignores the officer from that point on. “Yes, I think so, too.” 

Hotch is more efficient than you were, grabbing your tube of glucose tablets and shaking one out into his hand. “Can you take it yourself?” 

“You want to chew it for me?” you ask. 

He tips it into your palm. “Very funny.” 

He opens the test kit on the desk and starts to extract the pieces. It’s quite complicated, especially for people unfamiliar with it, but you’re pretty sure Hotch learned how to use it the day he knew you had diabetes. He wipes his hands with an alcohol wipe and presses a test strip into the meter, careful not to touch the end, before wiping your finger with a new wipe, and readying the lancing stick. 

“Gonna stick you, okay?” he asks quietly.

“Mm,” you hum, the glucose tablet like chalk between your teeth. 

He sticks you. Some days it feels more painful than other days, but today it’s like a pinprick in a haze. He squeezes your finger, wipes the first drop of blood with a cotton ball, and dips the test strip into the second bead of blood, careful not to jab your cut. 

In the five seconds it takes for you to get a result on the meter, he kneels down, pressing another cotton ball to your finger to stem the flow of blood. “Good,” he murmurs to you. The meter flashes on the table. “Not so good. Fifty nine, huh? How’d that happen?” 

You shake your head slowly from one side to another. “I’ve no idea.” 

“Okay. Well, that tablet’s not gonna do it, honey. Do you have any gels?” 

“No,” you say apologetically. 

“That’s fine. I’ll get you a drink.” 

Officer Debs clears her throat. You may be foggy, but her awkwardness is palpable. “I’ll get it.”

“It has to be full sugar. Coke, if you can,” Hotch says. She nods in understanding and leaves in record time. Hotch turns back to you, his severity melting away. “She was shouting at you?”

“Tried to tell her about my blood sugar. She told me we’re not here to waste time.” You close your mouth, licking the glucose off of your teeth.

“How did you get so low?” he asks.

“Must have done something wrong this morning. Am I okay?” 

“We’ll see. I think you’ll be alright.” 

“Don’t usually get so dizzy.” 

“When was the last time you were below seventy?” 

“Don’t know,” you mumble. 

Hotch peels the cotton ball from your finger and packs your things away cleanly. “Let’s see how you feel in ten minutes. After your coke. Now… what did the Officer say to you?” 

He’s getting his facts straight. Again, you wouldn’t like to be on his bad side. You relay your conversation, Officer Debs hadn’t even been that bad, just uppity, stuck on her own assumptions rather than willing to listen when you’d needed a hand. Her lack of empathy could’ve really affected you. Low blood sugar is no joke. 

You tell him, savouring in the warmth of his hand on your leg, how uncaring he is to be kneeling in front of you on the precinct floor. He frowns at you long and hard. 

By the time Officer Debs returns, he’s on his feet again. “A word?” he asks her. 

You don’t hear all of what he’s saying through the door as you sip your coke. He doesn’t shout, but he defends you with a heavy gravity. Officer Debs speaks up and he cuts her down, something about understanding, and then a more clear telling off, “I don’t want to hear about Agent L/N’s performance from you again. She’s my agent, and if she needs a break, she’ll take one. It’s none of your concern.” 

“I understand.” 

You feel much peppier when he comes back in, though he appears less so. “You’re nasty,” you say, smiling, happy to be defended, and happier to know you’re not gonna pass out.

He crosses the room. Still frowning, he takes your face into his hands, and he leans down inch by inch, until he’s pressing a soft, soft kiss to your lips. You barely have time to close your eyes before he’s pulling away, thumb pressed into your soft cheek. “Nobody gets to shout at you. Especially over your blood sugar.” 

“It’s usually you telling me off for letting it get low,” you mumble. 

He stands up straight, leaving you wanting for another kiss you won’t get, hands stolen back from your cheeks. “You’re ageing me prematurely. Drink some more coke, please, sweetheart.” 

“What do I get in return?” 

He touches your face briefly, as much of a promise as you’re going to get. 

[archiveofvirtue]

pov: you’re jensen ackles’ controversially younger gf ᡣ𐭩 pt. 3

jensenackles 6min

youruser

Liked by madelyncline and others

youruser officially too old for dicaprio 😶

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yourbestiesuser shits been way too freaky 🫦

youruser my heads’ still spinning 😵‍💫

ange1bites THE CAPTION IS TOO ICONIC

ellasbows the way I just realized.. 😭

fory/n HOLD UP- IS THAT MADELYN CLINE??

obxpiczz yup they’ve been friends for like 2 years now

jacklesfan1 his hand placement?? hello??

cvntyblogz I think my invite got lost in the mail 😔

madelyncline bday girl swag 🫡🫡

youruser u know the drill mads

clinestar literally all my faves in one room wtf

fordestiel still can’t believe we’re the same age 😭😭

tatemcrae happy bday it girl ❤️‍🔥

youruser coming from the it girly herself 🫂 ty love, imy!

popgirlyblog tate 🤝🏼 y/n

jensenackles

Liked by youruser and others

jensenackles Happy birthday to my girl, my partner in crime and the best pool player I know. Beyond blessed that I get to spend this one life with you. I love you ❤️ @/youruser

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jacklesfan1 stop.. his little paragraph 🥹🥹

forjackles she is so so lucky

youruser damn right I am 👀

destiellcver her concentrated face is killing me lmao

youruser at a loss for words. You made this day so special. I love you hubs ❤️

girlwithablog you can just tell how much he loves her

jaredpadalecki today we celebrate the amazing y/n. to many more “I’m gonna have a bf” moments with you 🫂 @/youruser

gibson-g1rl wait- did jared just quote ‘white chicks’ 😭😭

youruser duh 🙄 its our fav movie! and i love u @/jaredpadalecki

vampdecn what’s bf? boyfriend?

youruser BITCH FIT

jaredpadalecki bitch fit

ellawinchester did she finally turn 18 or what??

jensenandy/nfan bruh, she is literally a grown ass 26 year old woman, get ur shit together

casmybeloved my favorite couple

girlblogzz hbd y/n ⭐️

youruser thank u !!

youruser

Liked by jensenackles and others

youruser if I left u on read, here’s why 🌺

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y/nlcver bodTEA !!

elliescam my jaw literally dropped at the 7th picture

forjackles literally my dream vacay w/jensen

yourbestiesuser glad you’re having fun <3 now come back to texas mama, the kids miss u 😩

youruser just say u miss me so bad 👀

girlwithablog god, i wish i was y/n

fionabae does she even work?

mygirly/n she was literally paul wesleys manager for a few years and is now working as production assistant for mgm studios !!

ortegafan02 omg this is how i find out? 😭

fionabae cmon she only got that job bc of jensen

popgirlies her life is like a pinterest board

casmybeloved they are adorbs 🥹

jensenackles

Liked by jaredpadalecki and others

jensenackles bon voyage or something like that 😎

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jacklesfan1 finest man ever ong

y/n_defender seeing y/n through his eyes is so cute!!

winchesterstan try not to say daddy (impossible)

h3llgirl1 ik his girl just hates these comments 😭😭

beausling nah she’s hella secure and too busy for this bs

youruser liked this comment

sevens1ns look at them go 🥹

urfavwinchester they’re still dating??

jackles4life why wouldn’t they? 🤨

urfavwinchester maybe he finally got tired of her

gibson-g1rl bro 😭 get out of here

2jstan can’t believe she is having that man every day

acklesbaby geeeeez jensen 😩

as requested, another part of the jensen sm au 🎀 pt. 1 pt.2

i think I’ll never stop making these, it’s so fun!

feedback and requests are greatly appreciated!

tags 🏷️ @gibson-g1rl @beausling @angelicjackles @lailawinchesterr @nuemanfilms @alluvthegurlz @drewsarms @starkeysprincess @hischrrypie @sammyluvr

[wooahaes]

a spark of realization

pairing: non-idol!hoshi x gn!reader

prompt: soulmate au series. 13/13

word count: 5.0k~

warnings: some food mentions. some angst. coworkers au. platonic love between soonyoung and his friends <3 some alcohol mentions (all regarding soonyoung drinking, no real mentions of reader actually drinking). mentions of static shocks throughout.

daisy’s notes: soonyoung looks at all of his friends and goes 'i love u all so much' and im like god same me when i look at my friends

summary: Unlike Jihoon and every other friend that swore they didn’t have one, Soonyoung knows he doesn’t have a soulmate. He’s tried plenty of the subtle soulmate things. He doesn’t feel anyone’s pain or emotions, he doesn’t taste anything weird, and he’s dyed his hair enough times to know that he most likely doesn’t have someone out there. Yet the static that makes his hair stand on end sometimes just causes him to think that maybe there’s something else to expect…

Kwon Soonyoung was positive about one thing in his life: he did not have a soulmate. Never showed any signs when he was ten onward, and he never would. Sure, it hurt to hear when he was ten—he was ten and stuck into this category of “without” regardless of how he felt about having a soulmate, that was sure to make anyone upset—but he’d figured things out for himself while growing up. Some people hated their soulmates. Other people loved them, sure, like… every single one of his friends now, but that was beside the point. Soonyoung had decided several things for himself. 

One: he didn’t need a soulmate to be happy and fulfilled. Plenty of people didn’t end up with their soulmates. Plenty of people didn’t have a romantic relationship with their soulmates, but stayed in touch. Some people didn’t even want their soulmates at all, either. Therefore: no one needed a soulmate to be a complete person. He was just fine on his own. (This was something his parents taught him from an early age.)

Two: Soonyoung did have soulmates, actually. Twelve of them. His twelve closest friends were his soulmates, platonically, and they’d all chosen each other in life. But if he had to pick one, then it was easily Jihoon. The two had known each other the longest now, and Soonyoung had told him one night that if neither of them had soulmates, then they were platonic soulmates. And even after Jihoon found his soulmate, Soonyoung still believed in it. The two of them just fit together in a way that was right.

“Really?” Jihoon had been half-asleep on the couch that night, tired from both work work and music work. He and Joshua had to re-record the song they’d been working on… again. Soonyoung could admire how dedicated Jihoon was to having a perfect product, though. “That’s sappy.”

Soonyoung had giggled, admittedly very much not sober. “No, no, I mean it! We’re soulmates, I think.” Another burst of giggles as he reached toward Jihoon’s hand. “I know you have one now, but…” 

Jihoon gently patted his cheek. “No, you’re right. We’re soulmates, too.” He shut his eyes, about to nod off again. “Soonyoung…” He yawned, turning onto his side. His dark eyes found Soonyoung’s a moment later, only barely open. “I don’t want to give you false hope, but… Have you ever looked into it?”

Soonyoung leaned against him. Of course he had. Hadn’t most people who did, deep down, want a soulmate? Well, maybe except Vernon. Vernon did his own thing most of the time. “I don’t wanna.”

“You don’t have to,” Jihoon said, understanding as always. “But…”

“Hm?”

“It’s hard to live in a world where I would have one and you wouldn’t.” Jihoon’s voice was heavy with sleep, and his eyelids fluttered shut again a moment later. “That’s all.”

“Why not?” Soonyoung stifled a yawn. “You’re cool. You make music. Plenty of people would love that. You can write your soulmate love songs now.” 

It earned a quiet chuckle from Jihoon. “Just…” He trailed off. “I was okay with not having one because love is… different. Like what Wonwoo says about it. It’s a choice and something you make. But you…” 

Soonyoung blinked curiously at him. He…? 

“Anyone would love you,” he mumbled, clearly beginning to doze off now. “I just don’t understand how it could be me and not you.”

Soonyoung had decided to love Jihoon extra from that point on. Jihoon’s soulmate did the same, and everyone else truly adored Jihoon, but Soonyoung understood. Jihoon never saw himself as the leading man in any situation. He wasn’t sure if that extended to believing he wasn’t anyone’s first choice (he was always Soonyoung’s, if that meant anything), but Soonyoung didn’t need to know. He just knew that he would always hype up Jihoon as much as he could. Everyone did, to be fair, but Soonyoung was happy to be a louder voice among the crowd. He would always be there to stream his songs when they were released and share them on every account he had, even if that sometimes required Seungcheol or Wonwoo helping him not break the link in the process.

But he’d never let go of that thought. How could it be me and not you? As if Jihoon deserved a soulmate less than Soonyoung did. Soonyoung had his moments of yearning, the same way that Seokmin often did, but he wouldn’t trade places with any of his friends. Their soulmates meant something to them. Soonyoung had seen the way Seungkwan doted on his soulmate day in and day out, and he’d quietly apologized to him once for the times he’d made inappropriate jokes. 

“What, those?” Seungkwan hadn’t seemed bothered in the slightest. “You were trying to make light of things so I wouldn’t worry.” He crossed his arms. “They hurt in those moments, but I can’t blame you for trying.”

How did Soonyoung get so lucky? Was this what the universe granted him in exchange for lacking a soulmate…? He wasn’t sure, but he wouldn’t trade any of his friends for a soulmate. He’d happily make do with the twelve he’d forged any day.

Okay, so maybe Soonyoung was getting in his head a little. Seokmin had just spent a  little over two weeks in a time loop because, surprise, he also had a soulmate. Which sent Soonyoung down a small spiral. According to some study out there that still needed more information to be more valid or whatever, a good portion of people who were told they didn’t have soulmates when they were ten were people who didn’t have obvious signs. Time loops, hair colors matching, lost items, sparks flying, colored footprints leading to the other person… All things that people simply wouldn’t have seen at age ten. 

So maybe Soonyoung started to dye his hair after Jihoon found his soulmate. It wasn’t abnormal, Soonyoung did like to play with his hair. It’d been a while since he’d gone bleach blonde. And maybe his soulmate didn’t care and that was why he stayed bleach blonde until his roots started to show. And maybe his soulmate didn’t care that their hair was cherry red not long after that…

And, maybe, Soonyoung was acutely aware of the date after Seokmin broke his loop. Each day followed one another as they always did, but Soonyoung swore a Tuesday felt just like a Monday once. 

And maybe, just maybe, Soonyoung lost a bracelet with his name on it. Joshua made him another one, no question, but he hadn’t found anything that didn’t belong to him (or Jihoon) in his living space. Everything was in its proper spot, just as it was supposed to be. Nothing new. 

No footprints stood out to him, and he hadn’t bumped into anyone lately that made him feel those mystical sparks that Jun once told him about. 

Kwon Soonyoung did not need a soulmate to be happy… So why did he want one so badly?

“I don’t need one,” was what he blubbered to Seungcheol one night, a week after Seokmin broke his time loop. “I don’t. I shouldn’t act like I need one to be happy because I am happy. I’ve been happy before, so—”

“It’s okay.” Seungcheol had held him as he cried. “Soonyoung, it’s normal for people to want them just as much as it’s normal for people to not. If you want a soulmate, it’s okay.” 

How was he supposed to say that now it was starting to hurt? That all twelve of the soulmates he chose in life had their own soulmates, even the ones who were convinced they didn’t? 

“Work is still bad,” Soonyoung said suddenly, still crying into Seungcheol’s shoulder. The words just seemed to dribble from his mouth now, no true thoughts behind them. “Two of the new hires took off because they found out they were soulmates and—and they wanted to get busy living life while they could. And now all of us are staying every night because we have to make up their work, and—”

He just kept babbling, sobbing as everything seemed to spill out of him. Seungcheol just held him, rubbing circles into his back to soothe him. Soon enough, all the words had dried up, and Soonyoung was just left, breathing quietly as he came back down. His head felt foggier than before. Lighter, though. 

“You’ll be okay,” Seungcheol promised him when Soonyoung finally moved away to wipe his face. “I’ll buy you dinner when you work next, okay?”

“I feel guilty,” Soonyoung said a moment later. With less thoughts to weigh him down, his feelings seemed to become more obvious. 

Seungcheol had chuckled. “You shouldn’t. I’m offering—”

“Not that.” Soonyoung let out a long sigh, tugging his sleeves down over his hands for a moment. When did he start feeling so cold? “I… I love all of you. You’re all some of my best friends. I meant it when I said I consider you all soulmates. I feel like I should be happy that we all met in this life, but…”

“We can’t fill that void,” Seungcheol said. He turned to face Soonyoung fully, arm draped over the back of the couch. “Soonyoung. I love you, but you aren’t my soulmate. There’s things I want to do with them now that I know them that I wouldn’t want to do with anyone else. I can’t call it love because I haven’t known them long enough, but… You do understand, right?”

Of course he understood. Soonyoung had dated before, after all. “I know, but—”

“None of us want you to feel left out,” he said. “If you want to date, then you should try dating again when things have calmed down.” He paused, “Or now, but I think the stress from work is getting to you too much.” Again, Seungcheol paused, mulling over his thoughts as though he needed to get them right the first time he spoke them aloud. “Soonyoung. Do you remember what you told all of us when you said we were your soulmates?”

Soonyoung had been… a little drunk that night. Most of them were. But Soonyoung had seen the videos that were taken by his friends of his drunken rambling, and he’d said a lot. “Which part?”

“The universe picked soulmates for a lot of us,” Seungcheol said, “but we still have to choose them. And you decided you would choose us.”

It was the easiest decision Soonyoung had ever made, and one that admittedly made him and a few others cry. He’d been right, though, hadn’t he? A soulmate was a person that the universe felt was perfect for you, but plenty of soulmates didn’t last. It was almost always the people who believed that just being soulmates was enough to have a lasting relationship. Soonyoung had seen people who finally reached their breaking point and ended things, always crying later because that was their soulmate. Almost always, their stories were similar to the others: they weren’t trying. It was supposed to come naturally to them. But a soulmate wasn’t a guarantee for love. All relationships, platonic or romantic or familial, needed work put into them. That was why Soonyoung knew that a soulmate represented a choice. One that the universe made for a person, but a choice that a person had to keep choosing if they wanted to make things work. That was how love worked, after all. Soonyoung had been in love before, and he had chosen that person until they couldn’t choose each other anymore. 

And he knew that it went the same for those with soulmates. Seungkwan had been with his soulmate for over a year now, and plenty of people could count the petty disagreements the two had had. They always came back together after they cooled off, talking things out like adults (sometimes with a little intervention from Chan or Vernon, but those moments were rare). Minghao and his soulmate had an actual argument not too long ago, but they’d bounced back and been stronger than before for it. Even Jeonghan, who had loved his soulmate almost his entire life, had an unfortunate spat that lasted a few days before he reached out to them and asked to reconcile. Love was a choice as much as it was a feeling. It was what brought them all back together again. A soulmate wasn’t the end-all be-all of love, but Soonyoung had realized why they all fit so well together. They all shared some sort of experience in some way, whether it be a string to connect them or losing objects. It was something to bond over, to open up the doors to choosing one another once that decision was clear. 

“Someone is going to choose you some day,” Seungcheol said, completely serious. “And they’ll be lucky if you choose them, too.” 

Soonyoung wiped at his eyes with his sleeve again, the fabric scratchy against his skin. Minghao would be chastising him now for it, pulling tissues out of his pocket or his bag depending on where he’d decided to keep them that day. That, too, was Minghao choosing to love his friend. “I love you,” he said softly. Thank you for choosing to be in my life. He wasn’t sure where he’d be without him.

Seungcheol chuckled, warm as ever. “I love you, too,” he said back, always as though it were the easiest thing in the world. Maybe, for Seungcheol, it was. 

A week later, work was a little kinder to him. His coworkers gossiped about some new hires coming into the company, and Soonyoung, truly, couldn’t care less. As long as they did their jobs and didn’t run off immediately to see the world or whatever those two were doing, he was happy. He’d given a polite nod to the new hires as they were introduced, and ignored the way the hairs on the back of his hand were standing on end. He’d charged himself with too much static upon coming in, dragging his feet as he tried to subtly push his sock back up after it had rolled down. He’d managed to discharge the static eventually, although the slight zap from the metal he touched had made him hiss in pain. It felt like a little too much, but what did he know? He had other things to worry about, like the backlog of work that still stood out to him. It’d take a few days for things to calm down for good. And, sure, the polite thing to do would be to get drinks with his coworkers… But no one was inviting anyone anywhere. Not when there was too much work during the day and everyone was exhausted by the time they all clocked out. 

“So? What do you think?” One of his coworkers had whispered to another after the new hires (a pair of people around Soonyoung’s age) had left ahead of them, having packed up quickly to catch their buses home.

Soonyoung packed up a little slower. Maybe it was wrong to listen in, but…

“Hm…” The woman hummed to herself for a moment, shifting her weight from leg to leg. “I’m not sure yet. Sungyoon seems to work hard, but the other person…” She frowned, crossing her arms as she grew still. “They’re very quiet. Like…” 

Soonyoung knew that she had just glanced at him. He’d always been the quiet one at work, the polite one who worked hard. That’s what you were like, from what he understood, too. You came in, you put yourself to work, and then politely excused yourself when you needed to run to get to your bus. Sungyoon had gone with you, not keeping it secret from anyone that the two of you were at least friends. Speaking of…

“Do you think they’re dating?” She whispered to the other. 

Soonyoung hoped you weren’t. You were… actually kinda cute? Plus he admired your work ethic a lot, even on your first day. Maybe when things calmed down, he could ask you out to coffee or something. 

“I didn’t see any marks,” the other man said, not bothering to lower his voice any further. “They could be soulmates. They clearly have a history…”

Soonyoung packed his bag and took off. He’d had enough of this. The journey home was uneventful, but Jihoon had picked up on how disgruntled Soonyoung was from the moment he walked in the door. Halfway through his vent session, Jihoon had looked at him.

“Why are you jealous? You just met them.” 

Jealous? Soonyoung was not jealous of anyone. He choked on his own words, unsure of what he could say that was actually convincing. If he denied it, then Jihoon would only believe that he was bullshitting him to try and save face. Yes, you were cute in Soonyoung’s eyes, but he’d only just met you! He’d be a weirdo if he was jealous this quickly! And you wouldn’t want anything to do with him if he was weird. 

“I’m not jealous,” Soonyoung said once he was sure he could say it casually. “I just find it weird that my coworkers care so much. They’re doing a good job.” He paused for a second, “both of them are! Sungyoon is very nice.”

Jihoon was not convinced. Nothing could convince him now, then. “Mhm.” He shrugged. “Nothing wrong with being a little jealous if they’re clearly close. Just don’t let it bother you.”

“I’m not!” Soonyoung felt his face heating up. He wasn’t. He wasn’t bothered in the slightest. It was more-so his coworkers being weird about it. It was weird to speculate, wasn’t it? If you had a soulmate, then good for you. If you didn’t, then… 

Then maybe Soonyoung had a shot.

“A soulmate?” You had looked up, the same man who’d speculated about you and Sungyoon being soulmates having shoved his nose into your business. You blinked, unsure of where this topic had even come from. “No, I don’t have one. I don’t think I do, at least. Is this a part of company business? I told H.R. after I was hired that I don’t have any signs that would prevent me from working, but I didn’t know everyone needed to know this.”

Soonyoung smiled to himself. Yeah, you tell him. It was your business anyway. 

“But what about you and Sungyoon—”

“College friends.” You smiled politely. “We live close to one another, too. I’m not seeing anyone now. Is that all?”

Sungyoon sat at his desk, watching you with this amused twinkle in his eyes. Sungyoon had the same kind of admiration for you that Soonyoung had for his friends, he was positive. He watched the way his coworker slinked off after a moment, apologizing for prying into your personal life as you returned to work. Soonyoung reached down to pull something from a desk drawer, only to feel a familiar zap the moment he did. He’d winced in pain, but it did nothing to dampen his mood. When Soonyoung relayed later the information to his friends at dinner that night, Wonwoo had watched him the entire time, all too aware of how thrilled Soonyoung seemed to be about the whole ordeal.

“Why do you seem so happy?”

Was he happy? He was, kind of. Without being disrespectful, you’d rebuffed the guy and kept most of your privacy in doing so. There were no long drawn out college stories about some adventure you and Sungyoon had while in college, no emotional moments of spilling about how you resented the fact you didn’t have a soulmate. Hell, Soonyoung had no idea how you felt about it. Were you indifferent like him? Did you have a similar situation to him, too, where you had chosen your own soulmates out of your friends?

“They were being disrespected,” Soonyoung had settled on saying. “I’m glad they handled the situation well—”

“He likes them and wants to ask them out,” Jihoon said after taking a sip of his water. “So he’s glad they’re single.”

Soonyoung shoved Jihoon slightly. “That’s not it at all!”

Jun chuckled from his seat, watching the exchange. “There’s nothing wrong with liking them, you know.” 

“There isn’t, but I don’t like them like that. I barely know them. We’ve barely even talked.” Soonyoung rolled his eyes. “How can I like someone I don’t know yet?”

Wonwoo shrugged. “I liked my soulmate before I really knew them. They seemed interesting.” 

“That’s different!” 

“Is it?” Jun shrugged. “I haven’t known my soulmate for long, but I still liked them before we started talking. They seemed nice. You can have a good opinion of someone without knowing them intimately—”

“That’s not the point,” Soonyoung said. “You’re all trying to turn this into something it’s not. I just… I dunno. When I see them, I want to know them more. It’s like they just keep pulling my attention toward them.” He paused, chopsticks in hand as he looked up. “They keep looking at me, actually. It’s kinda funny. I think they might be into me, actually.”

Suddenly, all three of his friends exchanged a look. Soonyoung furrowed his brows. “What?”

And none of them would tell him their thoughts. When he pushed further later as they were leaving the restaurant, Jihoon just waved him off. 

“You’ll figure it out.” 

“Shit!”

Soonyoung looked up at the sound of your voice, soft enough that it didn’t catch everyone’s attention. Sungyoon withheld a chuckle as you glared at him a moment later, and Soonyoung couldn’t help but keep his eyes on the pair of you. You’d wrung out your hand, reaching for your desk drawer as you started to search through it for a highlighter. Soonyoung liked the fact that you always highlighted things in pretty colors—bright green so far, but he overheard you telling another coworker, Seungmin, that you liked to switch out colors every so often. It kept things fresh, and Soonyoung found that cute. Almost as cute as the novelty erasers that you kept on your desk to decorate it, never using them since you always used pens (save for the pencil you kept exclusively for the sticky notes you attached to your computer monitor). 

“It’s not funny,” you had hissed back at him. “This place has a bad static problem… Is the air dry to you? I think dry air makes static build-up likelier.”

“It’s just you.” Sungyoon watched you curiously, glancing over to see that Soonyoung had started watching, too. 

Soonyoung watched the way he slowly reached for a pad of sticky notes, jotting something out. Then he reached forward, attaching it to the top of your monitor. You swatted his hand away, eyes flickering over to see Soonyoung just as he turned his attention back to his own work. Yet the moment he was sure you were looking away, Soonyoung glanced over to see you pulling the sticky note off the monitor. How had he avoided you this long…? Something about getting too close to you made his chest all fluttery. Had he really started crushing on you so easily? Then again, you kinda did make it easy. You were cute in your own ways, and it made it hard to focus most days. Now all he could think about was what Sungyoon had written to you. 

He’d stretched himself over Vernon’s couch that night, playing with a little feather toy that his soulmate’s cat (Nutmeg, apparently) seemed to love. She pounced at it again, and Soonyoung had, yet again, been rambling about his work adventures. 

Vernon plucked another fry from Soonyoung’s leftovers. “Dude. Kinda sounds like there’s something there.” 

“I don’t know,” Soonyoung said. “Maybe I’m being silly. I should ask them out sometime, but they’re still new. It feels weird to do it so soon.” He paused, watching as Vernon slowly began to reach for another fry. “If you’re hungry, then eat. I’m fine.” 

With permission, Vernon immediately pulled over the rest of the leftover fries. “I mean it, dude. Why wait? You like them, they seem to like you, just go for it.” 

… Maybe he would.

But probably not today. Soonyoung had woken up late which, thankfully, wasn’t too bad considering he didn’t live too far from work. Jihoon had been in the kitchen, sliding over a plate of toast when Soonyoung booked it from the room.

“You have that meeting—”

“I know!” Soonyoung grabbed two slices. He’d shove them into his mouth on the run over. “I know—I set an alarm!”

Jihoon looked up, already annoyed, “I know. It woke me up.” 

He’d make it up to him later. He yelled back a casual “love you!” to Jihoon, who only groaned in response, and booked it to the stairs. No elevator today: the complex’s elevator sucked most days, and Soonyoung always reserved it for when he was coming home rather than heading to work. He’d pulled on the wrong pair of shoes considering he had a meeting today. He needed to look nice, and he did, mostly. These were the ones that were a little too broken in, having lost traction against the office floors, and they’d lost their shine a bit. Maybe no one would notice? Hopefully no one would notice. He didn’t need anyone making a comment… or you to think less of him. Were you the kind of person who cared about that kind of thing? He hoped not. As long as you were presentable, Soonyoung wouldn’t think any differently of you. 

He burst through the front doors of the building, yelling out to where you and Sungyoon had just boarded the elevators. He saw the way the two of you looked surprised, eyes wide and brows raised as Soonyoung booked it across the lobby while no one else seemed to think much of it. It was far from the first time this had happened, to be fair: it happened back when he was new, and it kept happening every so often since. Soonyoung, unfortunately for everyone else, was the kind of person who could be loud when he needed to be. Which was good for him, because Sungyoon had taken pity on him and held the elevator doors for him. Soonyoung’s hair was standing on end now. Fuck, when did the building have such a bad problem with dry air? 

Shit, fuck, the floors were against him today. In the split few seconds he had, he’d tried to yell for you to move aside so he could crash against the elevator walls, yet his brain seemed to have turned to pudding. He felt this subtle pull forward, which he once thought was gravity as he nearly tripped over the elevator threshold and into you.

Only for sparks to fly. Literally fly. Sungyoon had crumpled to the floor in pain, howling about ‘what the fuck was that?!’ while Soonyoung only felt this warmth wash over him. You’d been shoved against the elevator wall and were clutching the back of your head (shit, fuck, he’d check on you once his brain caught up to him). Wait.

Wait. Sparks flew. 

You…?

“Dude, what the fuck?” You’d pushed him away, hand still clutching the back of your head. 

Immediately, his brain had finally started fully functioning again. “Shit!” He stepped forward, trying to get a closer look at the back of your skull. No bleeding or visible bruising, but what did he know? “Are you okay? Did you get hurt? I’m sorry, I tried to stop, but—”

“What the fuck was that?!” Sungyoon was still on the elevator floor. The doors slid shut after a moment. 

Quietly, Soonyoung hit the button for the correct floor, just to get things moving. “I… I, uh…”

You stared at him, slowly connecting the dots. “Oh.”

“Did… Did it hurt you?” Soonyoung shyly asked, only to realize he’d been vague. “The sparks.”

You shook your head. “No. But—” You looked at Sungyoon. “Sungyoon, are you okay?”

“I’ll live,” he pulled himself back up. “Of course he’s your soulmate. No wonder you two wouldn’t stop staring at each other…”

Soonyoung had felt a pull toward you, but… He always thought that was infatuation fueling that feeling. There were so many things he’d already wanted to ask you, and yet it felt… weird to say them with Sungyoon there. Were you like him? Had you given up on soulmates even though you wanted one? Or did you not care that Soonyoung was your soulmate? Would you have still liked him if he wasn’t…? He felt like he would have liked you either way, but he would never know for sure now. Then again, maybe he could be okay with not having that answer. If he got to know you better, then he could be happy. Neither of you spoke for the ride up, and he could see Sungyoon debating stopping this elevator ride early to give the two of you space.

Thankfully, he didn’t. But he did book it off the elevator once the doors opened, leaving the two of you two step off together.

“So…” You were a little quieter than normal, never quite looking at Soonyoung for too long. “We’re soulmates.”

He nodded. “Is that okay?”

That earned your attention faster than anything else. “Of course that’s okay. Why wouldn’t that be okay?” 

“I just thought that…” You didn’t seem happy. Then again, he barely knew you.

You shook your head. “Just because I’m used to not having a soulmate doesn’t mean I’m not happy it’s you. I already thought you were cute, so…”

Soonyoung shyly smiled at you, hand brushing against your own. It was enough to get you to stop and face him. “I know we have a meeting soon, but… There’s a little place across the street we could go for lunch. It’ll be my treat, if you want—”

“I’d love to,” you smiled. “I’ll look forward to it, soulmate.”

Soonyoung watched you walk ahead of him, smiling to yourself. Suddenly, he felt a new sense of confidence wash over him as he watched you go. He’d only known you for so long,  but something told him that choosing you was going to be the easiest decision he’d ever made.

(And when he told Jihoon that night, he’d called Jun and Wonwoo immediately to send him the money he’d just won for betting that Soonyoung would figure it out sooner rather than later.)

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @porridgesblog @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny @bewoyewo

[writingstoraes]

down the aisle 💍

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader

type: written imagine (fluff, angst)

theme/s: none very gruesome, typical childhood best friends pining, unspoken feelings and all that

word count: 5.1k (got carried away lol)

notes: not proofread and not revised so pls expect grammatical/spelling errors! will be working on the pending reqs now hehe lmk what u guys think <3

about: charles was six when he promised to marry you when he got older and the time was right. as crazy children can go, you always thought he was delirious, but he reminds you of it almost every year. 

“Y’know what, when we get older, I am going to marry you for real!” Charles, in broken French, says a little enthusiastically as he walks down the makeshift aisle you two had made for the two-hour playtime your parents allowed.

With a pillowcase hanging on your head as an improvised veil, you held in your hands hand-picked flowers from the Leclerc’s garden as your bouquet. Two of your other friends cheer, the joy of make-believe weddings children orchestrate on their own taking over.

“You’re crazy, Charlie! We can’t marry each other, we’re only six years old,” you giggle.

“I know,” he says. “I’ll do it when we get old! When we’re 18 or something.”

You thought of Charles as demented every time he promised to marry you in the unforeseeable future. He first said it when the two of you were six years old, playing an infamous game of roleplay wedding. For a long time, in your little group of friends, the two of you always assumed the role of the groom and bride. Of course, you were just as young as he was, but you dismiss his thoughts by saying you were too young to get married - and he’d always respond with the promise of doing it when you both got older.

Even when his parents and his older brother Lorenzo watch the two of you, he assumed Charles was just hopped up on the adrenaline of playing with his best friend, his favorite person in the whole world, you. He thought that when the two of you actually get older, Charles would eventually forget the silly vow he had made when he was awfully young.

But Charles never abandoned the thought. As he got older, he finds himself repeating the same promise he had told you in his family’s backyard, not for the sake of mere recollection, but because he deems you as his perfect pair, his soulmate. 

It was at age 10 when he had made the same promise to marry you. You sat a bench in front of your school’s gates, waiting for the school bus, clutching your backpack as tears welled in your eyes. You and Charles had made a pact to always go home together and sit at the bus side by side, so he’s not surprised to find you at your usual spot, but he was surprised to see you crying.

Charles rushes to you, taking off his backpack to set it on the bench. 

“Hey, why are you crying?” Worriedly, he says, a little panicked to see his best friend with tears running down her face.

“Louis t-th-threw away my let-t-ter,” you say in between sobs. 

Louis was a grade above you, who was the dreamiest boy in school with his soft brown hair and brown eyes. Every girl at school had a crush on him, gigantic ones at that, so his locker is expected to be filled with love letters even on normal days. Frankly, Charles never got the hype over him but he’d never tell you that, not when you were one of the lovestruck girls at school.

“What happened?” 

“I was too shy to tell him I like him,” you tell Charles, who proceeds to rub your back calmly to ease you down. “So I wrote a letter to tell him that and he crumpled it up into a ball and threw it in the garbage.” 

“He did it in front of everyone!” you add, breaking into cries once again. Charles’ brows furrow, wanting to punch the stupid boy who had made you cry, but his main goal was to make you stop crying first.

“Il est idiot ou abruti!” He’s a jerk.

“Y/N, please stop crying. He’s no good for you, you’re too great for him.” he says, using both his hands to grip your shoulders as he adjusts you so you can face him.

“I’m so embarrassed. What if this goes on for years? What if nobody likes me-” you ramble on and Charles could only look at you sympathetically.

“Hey, I like you! You’re the best girl I know.” Charles replies, smiling slightly. 

“And I will always like you, you know? It doesn’t matter if it’s years from now, I promise to marry you when we’re older because I will always like you!” 

“You’re just saying that because I’m sad,” you shake your head, lightly laughing at his attempt to cheer you up.

“I’m not lying! I really will marry you. That’s how much I like you.” 

It’s amusing to hear. What do 10-year-olds know about marriage, anyway?

At first, Charles thought he was repeating his vow to marry you years from now just to fulfill what he told the best person in his life when he was young. He remembers the time he had made the promise again back when he was 10 and he recalls telling you you were the best girl he knew. He convinces himself that he said that partially to cheer you up and because he’d do anything to make you smile, you were his best friend after all.

But it’s three years from now and he had done it again. Maybe it’s a reflex, something he thinks he’s supposed to say because he had said it two times already. Maybe when he was six it was out of joy and the child-like innocence he had. When he was 10 maybe it’s out of the fact that he wanted to dry your tears. Yet this time, he had no reason to justify it.

Deep down he knew it was because he grew to like you, more than a friend, more than he should. Internally he shakes his head, trying to dismiss the thought of breaking the unspoken rule of liking his best friend. He was 13, figuring things out, and the first thing he knew to be certain of was you were in fact, his dream girl. 

Your family and the Leclercs were together again for dinner, a tradition done at least once a month. A big table was set up at your house since it was your family’s turn to host dinner. Plates were neatly set up, the smell of roast chicken and the aroma of an array of dishes coming out of the kitchen. It’s the same night Charles realized just how beautiful you’ve grown to be. Your hair was much longer and you were a little taller. You dressed differently, and the two years you had braces finally paid off. Charles feels butterflies in his stomach each time you smiled, but he chooses to ignore it.

“Remember when you said you’d marry me like, three years ago?” you spoke up, hoping to playfully embarrass Charles who was beside you in your bedroom, legs sprawled on your bed.

“You can say it, were you just saying that to cheer me up?” 

“No, can you stop accusing me of that? I really meant it!” he says in defense, knowing he really did mean it, and he means it even more now.

“Hmm, I’m sure you won’t mean it anymore when you ask Elise to the dance and you guys have your first kiss,” you tease, enunciating the word “kiss” just to poke at Charles and the fact that the school dance was in 2 weeks.

“I’m still going to mean it, Y/N.” he shakes his head. “And weren’t we going to go together? I already bought your ticket.”

“Come on, Charlie! You don’t have to appease me anymore, we’re growing older, you know?” 

“I know, and I keep my promises,” he turns to look at you, shifting into a seated position. 

“Really?” you mock, raising one brow at him with a smirk on your face. “You’d really marry me like, 10 years from now?”

“I would,” Charles responds, unknowingly providing you with a small amount of comfort you couldn’t figure out just yet.

Things were pretty routine for you and Charles. Every time he promised to marry you, your response was always to never take him seriously. You always think he’s just trying to lift your spirits up or it’s because he’s fulfilling a promise he made when he was six years old. And if Charles was anything, he wasn’t someone who broke promises. He shows up and keeps his word, it’s just who he was. You think that vow would eventually be null and void when he finds a girl he genuinely likes, and the same would go for you.

Charles never lets your response get to his head. After he realizes he had grown feelings for you, feelings that persisted until now that he was sixteen, he lets your chuckle and “you’re crazy” responses slide away. He didn’t think he’d make the promise again anyway, he knows better than to say it again now that he actually was going to mean every word. 

At sixteen, you and Charles attended your first party with friends without parental supervision. Even Lorenzo wasn’t there as a chaperone so it was an entirely new experience for the two of you. He had promised your parents prior that he was going to take care of you and makes sure you don’t go home wasted, and obviously, they trusted him with their entire chests. 

Charles made sure not to drink too much that night, not even with the heavy and ceaseless invites from his friends. He wanted to be of composure in the event you get more inebriated than him, which will take place about an hour from now. You both went your separate ways, agreeing to meet when it was time to go home. You had friends outside of Charles and he had friends that weren’t you as well. Before letting you go he makes you promise to not drink too much and you only respond with a nod and a wide smile.

But he was summoned by your friend so he comes running to the living room and he finds you flushed and drunk out of your mind.

“Hi, Charlie!” you slur, waving your hands aimlessly as you see Charles’ figure tower over you. 

“Oh my god, how many have you had?” Charles asks, desperately trying to lift you up and out of the couch you were nearly passed out on.

“Come on, Y/N, I told your parents I wouldn’t let you drink!”

“Sorry, Charlie.” you say, all senses nonfunctional, slinging both your arms over Charles' shoulder as he carries you.

He figures he can’t take you home in your state, so he takes you out to the patio and sat you on the lawn chair. The booming music was heard outside, red cups littered on the grass, teenagers shouting every now and then. He had asked someone to fetch a clean towel drenched in water so he can wipe your face, hoping that and some water could lessen your inebriation.

“Aww, you’re taking care of me,” you coo, still clearly drunk. You had totally underestimated the toll alcohol would take on you.

“When we get married, are you going to take care of me when I’m drunk?” 

“What?” Charles mutters in disbelief, but he quickly remembers you were drunk out of your mind so he tries his best not to give it any thought.

“You promised you’d marry me. You’ll keep your promise, right?” you say, mispronouncing some of the words and holding back a hiccup. 

Charles doesn’t say anything and continues wiping your face with the damp towel in his hand and proceeds to tie your hair into a neat ponytail. He ignores that most of the time drunk words are a product of sober thoughts. He grabs the glass of water beside you and asks you to drink it. You shake your head in disapproval.

“Not drinking until you say you’ll m-ma-marry m-me,” 

He can only sigh, not believing he was making the promise yet again, this time out of actual sincerity, not just because you asked and he wanted you to shut up and drink the damn water he had in his hand.

“I will marry you, okay? When we get together and the time is right, you’ll walk down the aisle and you will see me.” 

“Now, please drink some water, I’m begging.”

And oddly enough, Charles is convinced you would have no recollection of the words that came straight out his chest.

Charles was already nineteen and how he felt for you hadn’t changed, not one bit. He’s evaluated the emotions he’s been avoiding hundreds of times - he asks himself if it was the nostalgia of having known you for more than a decade or if it was really because he had grown old enough to realize you were all he could ever want. But he’s not the type to do something about it, he’s far more afraid of losing you than having to keep the biggest secret he had withheld from you. 

You would be lying if you said the way you looked at Charles was still the same way you did when you were nine. You were scared to entertain the thought, it’s a dangerous territory should you try to open the door and see what was inside. For some time you disregard the pounding in your chest when Charles sends you a smile or the electricity that runs through your fingertips every time he held your hand.

Both of you decide to keep it at bay, stashing whatever you felt in a box and stowing it away in a compartment in the back of your heads. You were still as comfortable as ever, knowing each other best like you were each other’s home address. For whatever reason you and Charles deem it best and most reasonable to stay as friends and not say anything, you both loved each other too much to risk, jump, and then fall. Unbeknownst to the two of you, you were both ready to catch whoever falls first.

It’s not like neither of you tried to expand your horizons. There were attempts to date other people and establish the same or at least a comparable connection with another person as the one you had with each other.  Numerous times you asked for Charles’ opinion on what to wear on a first date and several occasions were you with him as he bought flowers for whoever was waiting for him. The difference was that you were more desperate than Charles, trying your best and trying hard to get over the fact that you were possibly in love with your best friend. Maybe because you weren't at peace with it as much as him, so you figure that maybe when you actually meet someone you like, all of this would just fade into thin air.

But it does get tiring. Looking back now, you weren’t sure you got the irony in going on several dates just for you to come home at night to Charles, who’s almost always waiting for you at your front door to make sure you got home safe. Sure, his house was awfully near, but you don’t mind it anyway. 

To say your date tonight was bad is an understatement. It was with a guy you met through a mutual friend, and at first, seemed charming and kind. After having rescheduled the date four times because of reasons he couldn’t say, you took comfort in the fact that he might be a great guy and you should give him a chance. He didn’t pick you up from the house, which Charles frowned upon, but he let it slide eventually after some persuasion and convincing. The whole night he only talked about himself and was even rude to the waiter who served you. To make the night even worse, him complimenting your physique in a way only perverts do was the cherry on top. 

Charles’ lips twitch to form a small smile the moment he saw you walking towards your door. Previously on his phone, he shuts it down and sees your shoulders slumped as you give him an exasperated sigh when you finally get to him.

“Home so soon?” Charles asks, though it was more of a statement laced with an I-told-you-so tone.

“Why are you here so early?” you return the question. 

“It’s only what-” you glance at your watch. “8:30 in the evening? You’re usually not here until 11.” 

Charles shrugs. “I figured this date wouldn’t go well. I had this weird feeling to wait for you really early, call it best friend instinct or something.”

Best friend. In some weird way, the comforting thought that he goes out of his way to wait for you was joined with a little pang in your chest from the two words that defined the two of you your whole lives. Best friends, were all you were and you figure, all you ever will be. 

“Sucks you had me give him the benefit of the doubt - the douchey shirt he was wearing really gave it away for me,” he laughs lightly. 

The both of you sit down at the front of your door like you usually do before you went to bed. It’s routine, something you never get tired of, even when sometimes you and Charles were just enveloped in silence, comfortable silence that is. 

“In my defense, he did seem nice. I wanted to give him a chance.” 

“Yeah that’s the problem with you, no?” he says. “You give way too many chances. You give them away like it’s Halloween and they’re trick-or-treating. Even when signs point you to not entertaining them, you’re too kind to dismiss it.” 

I’ve only ever wanted to give one person one chance. But I’m too scared to lose you. You wanted to reply, but there was no way in hell you would actually say that. So much for the self-imposed courage you said you had.

“That’s practically what dating is, Charlie,” you say instead, sighing after. “How am I going to meet the right person if I just stand and stall?” 

“It’s because you keep looking. I think incessantly looking for the right person is overrated, sometimes it’s better to stop and let them come to you.”

“Oh because I should take dating advice from a guy who’s been in what, 6 dates his entire life?” you tease, smiling at Charles after he returns a knowing look.

For a while, his gaze fixates on you, a small smile painted on your face and the moonlight reflecting in your eyes, somehow making them sparkle.

Right then and there he finds the answer as to why he’s only ever been in six dates. And had no desire on going to more. 

“Hey,” you speak up, cutting Charles’ trail of thought. 

“At least when I don’t find the right person, I won’t be husbandless. I have you to marry, right?” you joke, hoping it jogs Charles’ memory of a dumb promise he made when he was a child. 

“Yeah, you do.” 

You entered the Leclerc household while it was in complete chaos. His brothers were occupied setting up a big table in the backyard and meticulously arranging the plates and centerpieces as to how Pascale, his mom, would like it. His aunts and mainly his mother were in the kitchen, surrounded by pots, pans, and cut-up ingredients for whatever they were cooking. Undoubtedly, Charles had a fairly big family if you include the extended ones. It was his 21st birthday after all, so it makes sense why he was a big deal for today.

“Y/N! You’re here early, dinner isn’t for another 3 hours.” Pascale smiles upon seeing you, walking over to give you a kiss on the cheek. 

“I wanted to help you guys set up, looks like it’s a busy day today.” 

You soon made rounds in their house, taking turns in helping in the kitchen, and backyard, and visiting Charles in his bedroom because he was apparently ordered to not move a finger until it was time to eat. 

Soon after, the long table set up beautifully in the backyard of Charles’ house was filled. Close friends, family, and everyone he held dear were present to celebrate his special day. Various dishes were laid out on the table as well as a cake baked by his mom herself had candles sticking out of it, along with a cake topper that said ‘21’. You sat beside Charles like you normally do, which was never an issue to anyone. Thankfully enough, despite the long tradition of having meals together with your and Charles’ family, no one ever posed the question of when the two of you are getting together or telling you two how much you looked good together.

Which benefitted the two of you. Now, you weren’t really sure if you’d call each other best friends, not when you two had lingering feelings you keep hidden from one another. It’s better that no one imposes anything so you and Charles can avoid any awkward conversation that may arise after.

The dinner was definitely delightful. It was nice that Charles was able to fly back home after his races to celebrate with family and you could tell how happy he was as he sat at the head of the table, providing him a clear view of everyone present to celebrate him. The rest of the night was nothing but hearty conversations, light-hearted jokes, and sangrias that were made by a proud Lorenzo. 

“Speaking of Lorenzo, I bumped into your girlfriend at the market the other day,” Pascale speaks up, everyone instantly shifting their attention to her.

“You should have brought her here, Enzo. She seems really nice.” 

“Noted for next time, Mama,” Lorenzo laughs, continuing to sip his sangria. 

Granted, Lorenzo did explain they’ve been together only for several months and he didn’t want to put his girlfriend under extreme pressure by bringing her to a dinner surrounded by his entire family. 

“How about you, Charles? Anyone your mom might be bumping into here in the city?” his aunt turns his head to Charles, who was pleasantly surprised by the question.

“Oh no, not at the moment,” he chuckles, in hopes that would be the end of it.

“I don’t think Charles is the ‘dating’ type as of now, tante,” Lorenzo adds, replying to his aunt.

“Hey, I’ve been on dates!” Charles puts his hands up in defense as everyone erupted in laughter. “Really, I’ve just been focusing on my racing career.”

“Plus, I don’t think I’ve met the right person yet.” he adds, adding a low laugh at the end. 

You shift in your seat as something in your heart drops, like your oxygen levels were dropping and your heart rate was slowing down. Whatever confirmation you were waiting for from the universe that what you felt for Charles remained stagnant, you were sure this was it. Hearing about how he’s in pursuit of the destined person for him sent shivers down your spine, yet you’re certain you had no spine at all, considering you chose to hide your true feelings for him for God knows how long now.

“Mama won’t have to worry about daughters-in-law anyway, Y/N’s practically one,” Arthur quips, making the whole table laugh once again, except you and Charles, who knew the gravity of the word wedding or marriage held for the two of you.

But the two of you manage to let out light, slightly forced laughs anyway, for each other’s benefit mostly.

“Ah yes, Charles did promise to marry me when the time is right.” you say, in a somehow witty and humorous tone, raising a brow as you look at Charles. 

“I intend to keep that promise, Y/N, don’t dare me.” Charles taunts jokingly.

And for the irony and heartbreak of it all, that would wind up being the last time Charles ever mentions the only promise he’s kept this long.

If anyone ever writes a biography about the untold love story you and Charles had, the author would probably call you cowards. For several years, decades even, the both of you never tried to see what it would be like on the other side of the door. Swearing you loved each other more than life itself yet never brave enough to jump and take the risk. You only ever convince yourselves that what you two have cost more and is more than finally having what you two really desired since you were both thirteen. So you both decide it’s better to let what you felt die down when you both get tired of waiting and hoping that someday, time would finally pencil you in on a schedule and things would finally work out.

The shadow of being best friends your whole life mostly served as a justification for the hidden affection you had for one another. Whenever you questioned the motive as to why it only takes one call for Charles to come running over to wherever you are, you tell yourself he’s your best friend, that’s why he cares so much. And every time Charles’ heartbeat skips when your skin touches whether in a hug or a kiss on the cheek, he ignores and tells himself the two of you have been close ever since. The two of you never thought to question it, always afraid of what comes after.

Soon enough the extended pining for each other would blur at least a little bit. You and Charles will eventually grow tired of being surrounded by the what-if’s you’ve been holding back for years. So neither of you can really blame each other when one takes a step forward - it’s general knowledge that any longer of whatever situation this was would just harm the two of you and could potentially ruin your friendship, the thing you’ve been protecting so ceaselessly over the years.

At 24, you and Charles are at the peak of your careers. He was now racing for his dream team, and you finally got the promotion you’d been busting your behind for for several years. But despite the busy schedules that you have mounted on your calendars, you manage to still have time for each other no matter how tough it got. 

19 years later, nothing had changed - exactly the way you and Charles wanted it to be. A small price to pay for broken hearts because of words left unspoken. 

But the question remains, would your hearts stay broken for so long? Maybe not, maybe the long game is what you’re supposed to play.

Charles always wanted his wedding to be private and intimate. He wasn’t one for big weddings where he invites people he’s only seen several times in his life, and probably won’t see for a long time after the wedding. He preferred it to just be close friends and family, in a private chapel, and he’s damn lucky his bride shared the same philosophy.

The villa Charles had chosen was exclusive and very private, even the planners of the wedding itself can be counted by hand. The villa was rented for the entire weekend and he pats himself on the shoulder for doing a good job of picking out the place. 

The sun was starting to set and you could only stare at the golden hues that painted the sky. The breeze was warm but not too hot it makes you sweat. Tables and chairs were set up, beautiful centerpieces on top of it. Everyone was already well-dressed following the theme, all prepared for the ceremony. Even the piano player was seated down, in a tuxedo, all ready to play probably the most haunting music you will ever hear. You smile lightly as you play with the hem of your dress, closing your eyes and hoping your heart won’t pop out of your chest.

“Your vows, please,” the officiant says, as Charles brings out a paper from his coat pocket, tears already forming in his eyes. 

You could only look at him longingly, chest pounding, waiting for the words written on the piece of paper he held tightly. 

“Mon amour, 7 years ago, my family thought I was never the dating type. Sure it was a joke, partly, but I wondered what it would be like to actually be with the right person, with my soulmate. I was too caught up in my career and in the whirlwind of chasing my dreams. But there you stood, in the middle of the chaos and you have managed to keep me grounded. You have served as my anchor all these years and I honestly don’t know what my life could have been if you weren’t in it.” He continues, tears falling down as he proceeds to use his index finger to wipe his eyes.

“With you, I finally know how it feels to be with their soulmate. In you, I found the best friend, the greatest teammate, and the most amazing woman. You have no idea how thankful I am that I found you in this lifetime, and I will spend the rest of my life loving you and reminding you just how much.”

It wasn’t long before a tear rolled down your cheek and it feels like you couldn’t breathe. Of all the places you could be, this was the last place you ever thought you’d be in - the wedding of the only man you have ever loved.

You sat in the audience, beside Arthur and Joris, who you hope was too occupied to see the tears you were shedding. You sat in the audience in your cream-colored dress, watching Charles promise to love another woman for the rest of his life, like your own personal execution, like you had done an unforgivable crime and this was the world’s way of punishing you for it.

Maybe it was your fault you even went. But your best friend for more than two decades asking you to be there for his wedding seems like something you can’t decline. It was the happiest day of his life, one of the most important days he was ever going to have - it would seem off that you weren’t there, but it was barbaric of you to torture yourself. 

You were happy for Charles, you know in your heart you were. But it was a shame you never knew how he felt and it was a missed opportunity you spent years hiding your heart from him. But here you sat, surrounded by the desolating what-ifs, just like when you were thirteen and you realized you liked Charles more than a friend.

For the first time in his life, Charles has finally broken a promise.

For the first time in your life, you realize just how crushing heartbreaks can be.

---------------

tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy, @fdl305, @iloveyou3000morgan, @cxcewg, @sassyheroneckgiant, @ang3licho3, @pitlanebabe, @riverdalexvixens, @msliz, @boherahpsody (if anyone else wants to be a part of my taglist or if i forgot anyone that asked to be tagged, pls lmk by replying or sending me a message hehe)

notes: been ia since the hungarian gp bc my tooth was hurting so bad i was practically glued to my bed, also my classes start in less than three weeks and i am now more anxious than ever ANYWAY thank u so much for reading <3

[johnnieguilbertsgirlfriend]

hii can you do hamzah meeting u for the first time after long distance and u guys do some stuff ifyk

YES sorry been so long since the last post but here's a new one and sorry i had to include the car pic! sorry for my computer readers bc the song tag is huge lmao and if u dont want fluff/story then skip to the smut!

NIGHTS LIKE THIS - hamzahthefantastic x reader

CONTAINS: fluff, smut, virgin reader, slightly experienced hamzah (even though ik he's never laid pipe) p in v, praising, fingering, creampie, more idk

WC: 1.5k

story below the cut

────୨ৎ────

you had met hamzah online a while ago when he slid up on your instagram story, and the two of you were best friends ever since. he told you about everything; his youtube channel, vacations, plans for the day, and you shared your life too. you loved having someone to listen to all the little parts of your day, even if it was boring. he would facetime you while doing the most random things too, and it was fun. but you both decided you wanted more than that.

after months of repeatedly calling and texting, you decided your long conversations would be better with eachother present. and now, the day finally arrived for you to meet hamzah in person. you agreed to meet at the airport, since it was easier, and cheaper, for him to take you in his car. walking through the terminal with a suitcase in hand, you headed towards the parking lot. a mixture of excitement and anticipation bubbled within you. your heart was racing as you headed towards where he told you he was parked. approaching the car, you saw someone waiting outside of it.

it was him, with his familiar smile and curly brown hair. “hey y/n!”, he calls out, walking towards you to presumably take your luggage. you stop to look up at him, smiling. “hi hamzah!”, you say, hugging the boy you had been waiting so long to see.

“wow this feels so surreal”

“yeah, i can’t believe you’re here right now”

taking in his cologne, you step back leaving room for the two of you to walk side by side to his car. he opens the passenger side door for you, then opening his trunk to stuff your stuff inside. as he climbs in the car and shuts the door, you do the same.

“i was thinking since you’ve already been traveling that we can just head to my place and order doordash?”

“yeah for sure, that sounds good”

as he started to drive, you guys caught up. the ride wasn’t awkward because you guys had already spent so much time talking to each other that it was normal now. however, you couldn’t stop thinking about your relationship with him. you never wanted to fully admit this, but the more time you chatted with hamzah the more your feelings grew stronger for him. and every single time you would just push that aside, because you didn’t want anything to be different between the two of you.

but still, the way he brushed his hands through his hair, ruffling and messing around with it occasionally. and the way his eyes were focused on the road, occasionally biting his lips.

“are you okay?”

he said, effectively snapping you out of it.

“yeah, i’m fine”

hamzah places a hand on your thigh, keeping the other on the wheel. you stop thinking and automatically place your hand on top of his. the car stayed silent until around 10 minutes later, where he pulls into the street where his apartment is.

“alright we’re here.”

he pulls his hand away from your leg to shut off the car. you look at him awkwardly, feeling some tension in the car.

“sorry about that i didn’t mean for it to be weird. just forget i did that.”

you laugh to fill the silence. he stares at you, taking a glance at your lips and proceeding to hold your jaw, pulling you into a kiss. it was soft, but romantic, like he'd been wanting to do that for ages. you were unsure of yourself, until he reassured you, moving his hand to the nape of your neck. he stops to speak,

"you don't know how long i've been waiting to kiss you, y/n."

"is this a good time to say that i like you more than a bestfriend?"

*SMUT*

he pulls your body as close as he can to his, over the console of the car. hamzah kisses you, more passionately this time. his tongue slides into your mouth, skimming over your teeth. you moan as he gets more assertive with his actions, moving your hair from your neck. he places small kisses on your jawline and your collarbone, before starting to lift up your shirt. your hands snap to reach his,

"wait, um, i've never done this before"

"wait you're a virgin? you never told me that"

you look to the side, embarrassed and hamzah can tell.

"don't worry baby. i'll teach you, c'mere"

he says, climbing into the backseat. you follow him, now knee to knee.

"can i?"

"mhm"

he asks for your permission to lift your shirt, revealing your light blue bra. you knew the universe told you to wear a cute one today. he takes his hoodie off as well, showing his defined body, probably from going to the gym. his hands reach around to your back, unclipping your bra. you try to cover yourself, feeling self conscious.

"you're so beautiful y/n"

he moves your hands, going to cup your breasts, kissing each one. your fingers play with his curls, moaning in pleasure while he sucks your boobs.

"so, so beautiful"

he starts to lay you down across the seats, climbing on top of you and trailing wet kisses down to your core. he looks at you for consent, before sliding down your shorts, leaving you in a thong. he takes off his jeans, leaving him in his boxers briefs. he kisses you once on your forehead,

"i'm gonna make you feel so good"

he touches your throbbing core through your already wet panties. he teases you for a bit before taking off his underwear and sliding yours to the side. he slowly inserts himself into you, making you moan,

"fuck, you're so tight"

"h- hamzah"

"tell me if it hurts okay?"

he actually cared about not wanting to hurt you, and you nodded to let him keep going. he starts off slow before picking up some pace. you bite your lip while he sucks on your neck, biting a little.

"you're doing great y/n"

is all he can manage to get out before groaning. his right hand grips your thigh, pulling you deeper into him.

"holy shit, right there"

you groan, overstimulated from everything that was happening. hamzah keeps thrusting right where you told him, hitting your g spot everytime. all that could be heard in the car were breathy moans from both of you and occasional curses,

"i'm close-"

"just hold on baby"

you try to hold in the knot feeling forming in your lower stomach. he takes his other hand, fingering your clit. you let the feeling unwind and cum on him, moaning and shuddering. after a few more thrusts he does too, throwing his head back and groaning. he takes his dick out and shoves a finger in your pussy to hold his cum in. after a minute, he starts to speak,

"i don't know if this is bad timing but you're the best thing that's happened to me. i like talking to you everyday and just love you. y/n, will you be my girlfriend?"

"i love you so much, and of course i will."

he holds you close, kissing your lips sweetly. putting his pants back on, he goes into his apartment to find a towel to clean you up.

────୨ৎ────

another hamzah fic for my hamzah lovers <3 leave some more requests and i will do them! thanks for supporting my page :)

[k1ngpin42]

This one's actually wild- Ghoul x Reader Fic

𝔾𝕣𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝔾𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕖 (𝔹𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕤 𝕋𝕣𝕦𝕝𝕪)

WARNINGS: Part 1 of 2 (Part 2 has all the smut but read this first u won't regret it :) (unless u do)

Part 2 here: https://shorturl.at/YHk7p

You have been travelling for weeks. Taking meaningless jobs for people for not enough caps and spending them on drinks and a spot of food every now and then. You promised yourself you wouldn’t end up like this. That you’d use your skills in craftsmanship and explosives to help those big organisations clean up the helpless towns you’re always coming across. 

You took a seat on a rusted bench in the center of town, next to some skinny, middle aged man. You eye the synth bartender who has been scrubbing the same mug since you got here. 

“Do you have vodka?” You ask it, and it reaches down, picking up a dusty bottle filled with clear liquid. You nod. 

“Good, how much?” The synth replies in inaudible dialogue and the man besides you smiles.

“He says, 35 caps.”

“For one drink? Pretty steep….” 

“It’s the good stuff.” The man tries. You glare at him.

“‘Good stuff’ huh? It’s got a layer of dust….”

‘It’s…aged.” The man returns with a smile. You roll your eyes. 

“Fine, here.” You say, pouring a small bag of caps into the robots hand. 

He pours you it and you drink it straight without flinching. The man watches you intently. 

“Tough day?”

“Tough life.” You reply, grimly. He nods.

“I hear that.” You nod back, thankful that that unneeded conversation in your life had concluded itself.  “I’m not having the best day myself.” You sigh, having just jinxed yourself. 

“Really?” You ask, acting mildly interested. 

“The group I run with, we protect this town but we’ve been having a time of it lately. This one guy we’re after is relentless. In fact, he’s not even a man he’s a fucking ghoul, and a horrific one at that.”

“Feral?” You question, tapping on the side of your glass to indicate another drink. The robot looks at you, unimpressed. Or at least that’s how you depicted it’s synthetic, lifeless face. You sigh, placing another bag of caps into its hand and getting another swift poor in result.

“No, but he’s the worst type there is. He’ll take out anyone who gets in his way by force.” You tilt your head in confusion. 

“Wait, you’re after a man-“

“Ghoul.” Corrects the man. You sigh at the unneeded correction.

“Ghoul, because he got some people killed in a crossfire? That’s kinda how life is, law-lover.”

 “A man he had conducted business with hadn’t delivered his end of the bargain, and he fed his son to him in soup.” You smirk, surprised. 

“Sheesh. Hardco-“ You return your face to a neutral expression when you notice his look of outrage. You clear your throat.

“How do I find him?” His eyes widen.

“Y- You’re offering?” You roll your eyes.

“No, I said it for shit’s and giggles. There’s a reward I take it?”

“Oh a handsome one- but I’d need proof before the payment can be delivered.” You continue glaring at him.

“I know how a fucking bounty works, Mr…?”

“Flint.”

“Your last name is fli - you know what I don’t care. What’s the reward?”

“1000 caps.”  Your ears perk at this, a warm smile coming to your face. 

“I want 200 now. I need money for my weapons and such.”

“200…”

“If you can’t even cough up 200 how am I meant to believe you’ve got 1000?”

“Fine, here.” He pulls out the caps. “And a drink, on me.” He tells the robot. It nods and you let out an annoyed sigh.

“Knew that fucker could understand English. Why are you trusting me anyway? You don’t even know me.”

“I do, actually. Beautiful young woman in road leathers with a big bag on her back. I take it filled with explosives?” You eye him cautiously. 

“How do you know me?”

“It’s my job to maintain connections in other settlements. I’ve heard you help the odd person with your unique explosives. You build traps, turrets, dirty bombs and such. I trust them, and even if you do just run away with my caps, better than having no hope at all.” You sigh.

“That’s stupid. But I’ll get you your ghoul.”

Even with your advanced tracking skills, the ghoul wasn’t hard to find. He wasn’t exactly subtle, and when he walks in everyone turns, eying him like he’s nothing. He was more handsome than you expected, and to be fair, you hadn’t expected him to be attractive at all. This man wasn’t like any ghoul you had encountered. He looked more put together, and he had a cowboy hat like he had just stepped out of a fucking movie. 

“I’m looking for Adam.” He yells, and you notice the shotgun doing tricks in his hand. 

“To anyone who tries to stop me, I hope today is a good day to die. Although, I suppose it’s as good a day as any…” His accent was unexpected to you. It was deep and real pretty. You wondered why he was the way he was. You always wondered about ghouls, but had never met one you could exchange a sentence with before you had to blow them limb from limb in self defence. 

The bombs were already in place, set to detonate when he got into a certain building. It was made with a fluid ghouls were particularly prone to, and not even a ghoul can survive being transformed into pink mist. Now all you had to do was lure him up there. You had gone with Mr flint from earlier, and were now using him as a cover story. 

“You cock-sucking bastard! I know you took my sister.” He goes along with your story. 

“Took her? She wanted to go.”

“Anyone could want to do anything when their blood is pumped with jet you fuck.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“I know you took her, and I have proof-“

“Oh yeah?” He asks, grabbing you and putting your body against his, running his hands along yours.

“What if I did take her? You wanna join, hm?” The ghoul tilts his head, watching this unfold in the distance. You grab the mans arm and twist it backwards, making him scurry away from the floor. The ghoul smiles.

“Well, well. What do we have here?” He asks, stalking over to you and putting the cold, cracked skin of one of his hands upon yours, kissing your body with goosebumps in consequence.  Flint scurries off to the ambush location, leaving you alone with the ghoul. If there were any others in the town, they certainly weren’t making an appearance with him around. 

“Please don’t hurt me.” You pretend to cry, and he lets out an uninterested groan. 

“I’m not even here for you I-“ He looks at you a little longer and something in his cold eyes change. 

“Fine, what happened, anyway? This man messed with your sister or something?” “He took her, I know he did!”

“Just calm down sweetheart.” He says, putting his hand on your arm. 

“Any idea where?”  You nod, positively surprised that the ghoul fell for the bait. You had heard he had a soft spot when it came to women, children, animals, that sort of thing, at least in certain scenarios, if he cared enough. 

“Yes…that building over there.” You say, pointing at one of the higher buildings. He nods.

“Well….I gotta take care of some business first. You right to stick around? I’m always happy to helps when insects…” He shoots his shotgun from his hip, killing a roach you hadn’t heard approaching. “Needs crushing.” He adds. You tense up a little. The plan was to get him to that building as soon as possible, if anything else triggered the explosion the ghoul would know you had planned to take him out and would likely respond in ways that wouldn’t leave you in one piece. The ghoul becomes more wary at your reaction.

“Everything…alright?” He questions, taking a step away from you. You nod.

“Just…worried about my sister. But I guess I have no idea what’s in that building…I’d probably be dead if it’s filled with giant mutants or gunners or something…” He just stares at you, unimpressed. 

“What makes you think your sister survived then?” You hesitate, maybe you should have expanded your backstory a little before you got here…

“Well…she’s much more equipped at self defence…”

“If that was the case she probably wouldn’t be trapped in a building, now would she?” The unbearable silence is cut short by a machine turret firing at the ghoul. You step back, shocked.  He tilts his head, taking it out with a single shot, along with 4 men who had been aiming at him.

“You know, it’s not nice being interrupted.” He exclaims, storming into the building. You follow him, hiding behind a nearby counter. 

“Adam owed me chems…information….ammo…” The ghoul explains to some scared folk, slowly. 

“We had a good thing going, until he ran away with the caps. At least…he thought he could run away, but a little birdie told me he just had to stop by his hometown and visit his family before he left isn’t that sweet?” He asked, grabbing a woman and putting her into a headlock, aiming his shotgun at the other man. The woman lets out a frightened sound and he puts his hand over her mouth.

“Shh, it’s okay darlin, I’d never hurt an innocent woman.” 

The situation is so tense you’re not sure whether or not you’ve let out a breath since you first saw him.

“However, Adam is your son, and as his mother of course you’d never sell him out or…put him in harms way, but what situation does that put me in gorgeous? M’ I supposed to let an accomplice of a scammer go?”

“Please…I didn’t know, I promise-“ She muffles into his hand. He shakes his head.

“It’s no problem, really….” He mocks, letting her go. 

“Bring me Adam, or the next time you see him will be only his head. Or maybe an arm…or leg, some part of him anyway-“

“You’re sick!” The man besides him spits. The woman doesn’t say anything for a while and the man looks at her in shock.

“Honey, you’re not seriously gonna-“

“He’s upstairs.” She says. The ghoul smirks in a way that sends foreign feelings to areas of your body it probably shouldn’t be sending to, but you try to ignore it as you watch the rest of the situation unfold. 

When you head up there, Adam makes eye contact with you from your hiding spot, grabbing you and putting a gun to your head. You let out a sharp breath. The ghoul rolls his eyes.

“Oh jeez- you can’t just stay out of my way hm?” The ghoul asks you. Your hands are up and you feel helpless. In any other situation, you would have the element of surprise and could take him out with your knife, but you knew if you tried anything, either Adam or the ghoul himself would have your head. You open your mouth to say something. An apology, a plea, anything, but instead you close your eyes, accepting the very real reality that this could be the place you die, the shit hole where some boy too foolish not to know double crossing Cooper Howard was a death sentence, lived. He sighs.

“Let the girl go.” He says, nonchalantly. 

“If…if you leave my family alone, I will.” Adam begs, weakly. Cooper rolls his eyes.

“Your family did the commonwealth an injustice through trying to help your sorry ass. You think I’m going to give free passes to every bum I meet? I could put a bullet right between your eyes right now, and you wouldn’t even have the power to beg me not to.” The ghouls words make Adam sweat even more. 

“If you do that your girlfriend will be dead.” Adam says, and you let out a shaky breath. As if the ghoul would give two shits if you were alive or not. And why would he? Even if you weren’t lying to his face right now, and you actually did have a sister who did in fact need saving, why would that be any of his business. So when the words, “Fine, you have my word.” Leave his mouth, you’ve never been more shocked. 

“I- how can I trust you?” Adam questions. The ghoul groans. 

“Adam, Adam….you speakin of trust after stealing my caps? That’s brave. And real fuckin stupid.”

“D-drop your gun. And I’ll let her go.”

“You really think I care if this smooth skin girl I barely know lives or dies?” Cooper asks, and you sigh. There it is. The ghoul signing your inevitable death warrant. This is what you get for trying to help the commonwealth, you supposed. He shrugs, cocking the gun. This causes Cooper to drop his own, immediately. 

“I’m really starting to dislike you Adam. Give me the girl.” Demands the ghoul, and you can tell Adam was equally as surprised as you are. He hesitantly lets you go, not wanting to cause more bloodshed than needed either. You let out a breath, falling from Adams tight grasp and into the ghouls arms. You quickly push yourself off of him, straightening yourself up and apologising tremendously. He sighs. 

“Don’t fucking mention it. Let’s leave this prick. I believe we have a sister to save.”

“You’re just going to leave him here?” You ask him, softly. He rolls his eyes.

“Unlike some people, I keep my word when I give it.” He doesn’t say anything else before darting straight past you and to the exit of the house.

“Sorry for disturbing you, ma’am.” He tells Adams mum before leaving. 

He still hasn’t said anything, bolting towards the tall building where Mr flint and a room of explosives was awaiting him. You stop walking, partly because you believe if you do not, you would run out breath and surely die to a lack of oxygen, but also partly because you couldn’t stand anymore silence. He saved you, someone he didn’t know, and was now helping you further. He was a harsh being, you weren’t blind to that, but the thought of sending the ghoul to his death right now wasn’t a thought you found very welcoming. He notices you have stopped and gives you a confused and unimpressed glance. 

“You don’t seem to be in much of a rush to save your sister from these ‘giant mutants’ you’re so afraid of seeing.” He exclaims, not looking at you. You shrug, eyeing only the ground at this point.

“I guess I’m a little shaken. Never been held at gunpoint before. Had guns pointed at me, many a time but- well it isn’t quite the same. And then you saved me so I- well I guess my thoughts are elsewhere.” You admit in one clutter of words. He nods. 

“I…guess that’s understandable.” He replies, coldly. You nod, continuing to walk now but at a more reasonable pace.

“Why didn’t you shoot him?” Cooper glares at you, then back at the empty land ahead.

“I told you. I gave my word.” You sigh at his answer.

“Yes, but why…surely I ain’t worth saving. I’m nothing to you.” He laughs at your comment. 

“Spoken like someone who has lots to live for.” He remarks, sarcastically. You can’t help but smile at this.

“I suppose that was a little dull, I just meant….I’ve met ghouls before and they all tried to eat me.” You confess, and he laughs the most gorgeous laugh you’ve ever heard. 

“Well, we ghouls can be unpredictable. I still may eat you yet.” He teases, and you can’t help but put this into a different context in your own mind.

——————————————————————————————————

As you two get up to the building, your heart is racing. All of a sudden your mind is foggy, you feel nauseous. This whole thing is a bad idea. This man-ghoul….who knew at this point, had only been in your life a few hours and already saved you twice, spared an entire family and was now about to be sent to your death for what? 1000 caps? Flint could kill him if he must, you were not taking a part of it. The ghoul hadn’t just saved you either. He was attractive, kind enough, and brought a type of adventure and heat that you thought had turned to ash like the rest of the world. 

“Well, no ‘gunners or something’ yet.” The ghoul remarks. You nod. 

“Uh, wait here a moment, I’m gonna check this room.”

“Okay, but look out for traps.” He says. You smile at this.

“You worried about me?” He shakes his head.

“I’m worried you’re gonna do something dumb and set off a series of explosions that will get us both killed, but whatever floats your boat sweetheart.” Sweetheart. The nickname repeats itself in your head as you question why it makes your stomach churn in the best way possible. You hurry into the room and see Flint.

“Amazing work at getting him here, which room has the explosives?” He asks, eagerly. You bring your hand to the back of your neck anxiously. 

“About that…what if we just forgot the ghoul? I mean he didn’t harm that family even though they were the ones who had robbed him so-“ “I will NOT hear of this!” Flint exclaims. “He is a mutant, a terrible reminder of the fuckups people from his time have made. Bring him to me, I’ll kill him myself.” You’re stunned by Flint’s aggression to you, especially after it was your life on the line. He can walk away from this with an injured hand and you walk away knowing you were almost a corpse on Adams floor? This man was seriously starting to get to you. 

You couldn’t believe what you were about to do. It had never occurred to you that you would stoop this low, but after all the shit you had been through in your life, this was the one asshole to push you over the edge. To make you do and say shit past you wouldn’t have been able to fathom like….

“He’s in the room on the third floor. The passage on the right should take you there.” You explain. Only that room would have no ghoul, and rather all the explosives instead.

“Good. Are you coming?” He asks. You shake your head.

“Fine, but I’m keeping the caps then.” He declares. You nod. What a prick…. 

——————————————————————————————————

You quickly run to the ghoul, grabbing him by the hands.

“We need to go.” You exclaim, pulling him. He looks at you, confused.

“You found your sister?” He asks. 

“What? Oh- yeah…come on.” You say, and thankfully he follows. You hear a booming explosion behind you and you shut your eyes tight. Cooper looks at you, bewildered.

“Care to explain to me what the fuck that was?” He demands. You stare down at the ground. 

“How…about I tell you over a drink?"

[missalosa]

OPERATION: LOVE!

CHAPTER 1 - OPERATION: THE START

pairing: hwang hyunjin x fem!reader

genere: enemies to lovers, college au, social media au, texting au, slight slow burn? (idk man), get ready for WHIPPED hyunjin

synopsis: in a world where society normalizes true love, y/n feels like an outsider. surrounded by friends who are constantly dating and sharing romantic moments, she struggles with feelings of inadequacy and the fear that she will never find love. her insecurities deepen as she navigates college, believing that love is reserved for those who fit a certain mold, but unexpectedly, she finds herself in a fake operation plan with the popular guy of her college. will she get a glimpse of what everyone sought for? or will she forever be alone?

status: ongoing

started: 10.10.24

tags: fluff, crack, spicy stuff happens mostly later but idk how to write smut so u get what u get hornball (jk | love u)

────୨ৎ────

What is love?

It’s a question that runs through my head whenever I walk past a couple, hand in hand as they giggle in between themselves, content in each other’s presence.

In this world, love is everywhere, almost a currency. Every glance, every word exchanged carries a weight, a promise of connection. People chase it like a moth to a flame, hoping to be enveloped in that warm glow. But beneath the surface, the desperation simmers.

What happens when love feels obligatory? I watch as people pair off, their laughter echoing, yet sometimes it feels like a performance. Are they truly in love, or just fulfilling a role?

Can love be a burden? When everyone wants it so badly, does it lose its magic?

Sometimes I wonder that about myself.

I know I made that whole thing sound like I was alone in crippling shame, stuck in a well, but I do have someone. A boy. My boy.

I should be lucky I’m even dating someone, especially someone like Taehyung. He’s everything I wanted, and the fact that I was able to pull him is something that amazes me. But, I can’t tell if it’s normal or usual for people in a relationship to overthink, I guess so, but is it normal to do it frequently?

It’s not like he doesn’t comfort me, he tells me he loves me every time, and it never fails to make me fall in love with him all over again, but I just feel so..weird, almost as if this is just a dream. I was someone who thought I would never find true love, I thought I was unlikable. But the moment I finally find someone, finally get a glimpse of what it truly feels like to put someone’s values over your own values, I can’t find myself to believe it.

It’s a bit pathetic really, I’m afraid of something that I was always so curious for the moment I got it. However, I think me and Taehyung are doing well in letting each other know that we’re on eachother’s side always.

Well, I know he is. Even if he’s not that kind to me, that’s just how he is. He wouldn’t wait for me to finish eating my food before walking off with his friends, he wouldn’t walk me home a lot, and when he would, it would be with my sister.

Step-sister anyways, but I like to think of her as my real one.

Miyeon is younger than me, my parents promised to take care of her as well, they used to work in a foster care and saw the brightest in Miyeon, and I’m really glad they did. Even if she’s younger than me, I really still look up to her as if she’s older, even if she’s the exact opposite of me.

Miyeon is the absolute total package. She’s popular, has blonde hair, pretty body, pretty face, the definition of..just pretty. She’s smart, has a lot of friends, you would think someone like her would be slightly intimidating at first glance but..I think she’s like my twin, even if we really aren’t. After all, we’re still the same age, even if she’s a couple months younger than me. There’s one thing though..her friendship with my boyfriend.

Personally, I don’t find myself getting jealous easily, I have a lot of trust in Taehyung, so I don’t think he’d ever do something as cruel as cheating on me, especially if it’s someone like my sister, but, I still have my fears.

And this is the part where I definitely feel like I’m overthinking, Miyeon would be the type to hurt my boyfriend if he were to ever even think about playing with my heart, no matter how close they are. So I really shouldn’t be worrying about anything..right? I mean..maybe it’s just—

“Ack!”

My whole body suddenly jolted as I felt myself bump into someone else, causing my tray to leave my grasp, making a clattering sound as my food was now on the floor, dirtying someone’s shoes.

I stammer, looking down at my tray, as well as the person’s shoes. “..Ah..I am..so sorry uh..I didn’t mean to-“

“Are you fucking blind? Watch where you’re going next time will you?”

I snap my head up to the person who made the snarky comment, finally getting a look on who was it that I bumped into. It was Hwang Hyunjin, of fucking course it had to be him.

Hyunjin was one of the most popular guys of our campus. Like Miyeon, he had looks, except there’s a reason you should be intimidated by him. I rarely see him go to school, like ever, and it’s noticeable when he does, because everyone looks at him with heart eyes, following him and trying to talk to him like lost puppies. The worst part of it all, was that he didn’t care, he didn’t care for all the girls practically tossing themselves at him. I never understood the hype around him, it’s not like he’s ugly.

He is very cute.

But his nonchalant personality completely overshadows that for me, I can’t be with someone who doesn’t care. Well..Taehyung does care. That I know. However..this specific encounter that’s occurring is making me find my thoughts of him reasonable.

“Oh..well..I’m sorry..but..you walked into-“

He didn’t even let me finish my sentence before he scoffed, bumping into my shoulder, almost as if it was purposely, walking away with that bitchy ass walk. I felt like the cafeteria go silent, or at least not fully, but most of the tables around me were overhearing us. I almost got flinched from that shoulder bump that he did.

What the hell is up his ass?? I didn’t even mean to bump into him on purpose, he was the one who walked into me, he’s a giant, how the hell was I supposed to move??

I looked at him walk away in disbelief before I felt someone grab my shoulder. I look over to see that it was Yunjin. “Y/n? Are you okay? That really wasn’t necessary of him to snap at you like that.” She reassured me as she sat me down in the circle table with our group. Our group consisted of her, Keeho, Yuna, Beomgyu, and Yeonjun.

“Well that was definitely an impression.” Keeho said as he munched on his chips.

“I can’t tell if I wanna kill him or myself.”

“Both.” Beomgyu said, slightly snickering, Yeonjun who was next to him slightly raising his eyebrows. “Beomgyu, really?” Yuna responded from across the table, sat next to Sakura.

“Don’t worry about him, I think he’s always that rude.” Yunjin says, patting my shoulder gently.

“I really don’t know what others see in him besides his looks.” Sakura comments.

“Exactly!!” Beomgyu exclaims, causing some people in the table in front of us to shift their attention towards us for a moment. “Well someone’s passionate.” Yeonjun responds, causing Beomgyu to nudge his shoulder, muttering for him to shut up under his breath.

“Anyway..you have more relevant things to worry about..like your actual boyfriend. Did he respond to your text? What did he say?” Yuna asks eagerly.

I pull my phone out to check if I got any notifications, I even checked the message I sent just incase it didn’t send.

────୨ৎ────

────୨ৎ────

Delivered.

“Uh..no. Still delivered.” I felt a bit disappointed. But I remembered he doesn’t have the same lunch period as us, so he’s probably unable to reach his phone since he’s in class right now.

“Oh.” Yuna slightly mumbled, her voice tone shifted to something more blank as she pouted, she was expecting him to respond. “Well..that’s okay, he has class, right? He’ll probably respond later.”

She’s right, Taehyung may take a while to respond, but he never willingly ignores me, right?

“Girl I think he’s ignoring you.” Keeho asserted a bit too bluntly for my heart as he looked at his phone with slightly raised eyebrows.

“Damn Keeho, what’s that about?” Yeonjun commented, widening his eyes from the bold claim.

“I’m not just saying that, I texted him a bit after you did, and it only took him a couple minutes for him to respond to my message perfectly fine.” Keeho added.

“Let me see.” I grabbed his phone from him, looking at the screen showing their messages. Keeho texted him about practice, and Taehyung responded not even 3 minutes later. This wasn’t even long after I texted him.

I fell silent as everyone else tried to take a peek at what I was looking at, once everyone saw it, Beomgyu was the first to speak up.

“Bitch?” Was the only word he said afterwards, I was about to express my own concern before Sakura cut me off, raising her hands.

“Well, hold on, he’s probably not doing that on purpose. Maybe your message didn’t fully send? It could be bad reception or something.”

“If it says delivered, then it’s sent.” Yeonjun debunks Sakura’s excuse, causing me to feel even more worse.

Was it something I did? Is he mad at me? What did I do? I kept asking a series of questions in my head, growing more and more stressed at the amount of possibilities, is he gonna break up with me? Does he not wanna talk to me anymore?

It was almost as if Yunjin sensed my worries, and started speaking while putting an arm around my shoulder. “I’m sure you did nothing wrong, Y/n, maybe he’s just..uhhhh..” Love her for trying.

“Why can’t you just talk to him after lunch? You see him afterwards, yeah?” Yeonjun stated his idea, causing everyone else in our table to nod lightly.

“Only during passing periods, I don’t have a class with him.”

“Well, still, I think you should try talking to him. Once he tells you it will all probably make more sense.” Yuna adds, everyone nodding lightly again in agreement.

“Okay, yeah, I’ll do that.”

I eventually thought to just do it, I don’t think Taehyung would have any bad intention, maybe he responded mentally? I do that a lot. Maybe he’s just..waiting to tell me in person?

Whatever reason it is, it’s better to hear him say it instead of just assuming.

────୨ৎ────

After lunch, I usually wait for him under the stairs. His class was right near, so he didn’t take long. But, for some reason, 2 minutes passed and he still wasn’t here.

I tapped my foot anxiously, did he just..forget about me? No, maybe he’s coming out late, his teacher might be telling him something. Or maybe-

“Boo!”

I felt a breeze of air hit my ear, the feeling of that causes me to fully flinch, falling back.

I tilt my head up to see the man I was waiting for, Taehyung, laughing at me manically.

“You’re so funny, Y/n! You’re just so vulnerable, it’s so easy to scare you like this.”

I pick myself up, no thanks to him, cleaning the slight dust that probably landed on my skirt from pretty much falling on my ass. As soon as I look up at him he leans down to press soft kisses against my neck, it causes me to slightly shiver before I pull him back. “Taehyung, can I ask you something?”

“Mm, what is it?” He said in between kisses, apparently me pulling him away didn’t stop him from trying to devour my neck.

“You didn’t respond to my text.”

He doesn’t stop, no matter how many times I try to push him away. I was really trying to be serious with him but he just didn’t know how to.

“I was busy, in class.” He says in between kisses, he moved to my jaw, causing me moan slightly, but I managed to push him away before I continued. “You responded to Keeho, though.”

He stops his assault of kissing, looking down at me, the proximity between our faces made me shiver. “You know I don’t have to always respond to you all the time, right? Since when did you become so clingy?”

His words made my heart ache, clingy? He was the one literally trying to mark me down like an animal. “I..I wasn’t trying to-..”

“Look, I saw your text, I’ll think about it, okay?” He says, bringing his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“You’ll think about it?” I repeated.

“I have practice after school.”

He really could’ve just said that, but the only thing I could mutter out was a “Oh.”

“I thought you would’ve known from your little guy friend.” He said that in a almost harsher tone.

“You really don’t have to call him that.”

“Why are you being so defensive towards him? Do you want him or something?“

“No, that’s not what I’m-“

“Okay. Okay. I’m sorry. I got a bit out of control there. I’ll see what I can do, okay?” He says rubbing my shoulders to reassure me, and damn I would be lying if it didn’t work every time.

He closed the gap between our lips as he gently pressed his lips against mine. His hands reached lower from my back to grip my waist as he pulled me against him, causing me to moan quietly into the kiss. He slowly lowered his hands, and when I felt like he was on the brink of groping my ass, I smacked his hands, holding my pointer finger infront of his face, causing him to laugh. “Hey, what did I say about doing that in school?”

He bit his lips, smirking at me. “It’s not like anyone can see us, but fine, I’ll control myself.”

He held out his hand to hold mine, leading me out from under the stairs. “We’re gonna be late to both of our classes if we don’t hurry.”

I smiled as I felt his hand against mine, something I don’t think I felt in a while.

He may be a bit rude sometimes, and some of his actions may be hard to explain, but I love him either way.

────୨ৎ────

[angelinlothian-cha]

FIRST DATE WITH GEORGE CLARKE

You and George had been really good friends for a while now. Yous spent quite a lot of time together . But recently both ur feelings towards each other have changed. Both scared to admit it.

George’s pov

“George mate just ask her out already we can tell you like Y/N” Chris says to me

“Obviously I like Y/N she’s my best friend” I say to the boys.

Me n Chris invited Arthur television over to have a drink and watch the football.

But the boys are just grilling me about Y/N . I don’t want to admit to them that they’re right. She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I think we would work so well together I’m just scared she doesn’t feel the same about me.

“Just text her and ask if she would like to do something on Friday night with you” Arthur says to me

By this point I’ve had a few beers “fuck it lads, what should I say”

TEXTS

GEORGE

“Hi Y/NN, was wondering if you are free Friday night we could go to the mini golf place u we’re going talking about the other week and have a few bevs ? Xx”

Y/N

“Hi Georgeyy yeah that sounds sm fun! Defo up for that! Xx”

GEORGE

“Great I’ll see you then! Xx”

“Omg she said yes” I say to the boys

“Of course she didn’t mate, we all knew she would” Chris says

Arthur holds up his drink “to George no longer being single” he laughs and we all cheers.

Y/N pov

A smiled down at my phone I can’t believe George has asked me out. It’s probably not a date I’m just over thinking it. We’re friends, we do stuff together all the time ????

I FaceTime the my best friend Katie to let her know

“Katie you will NEVER guess who’s asked to go mini golf on Friday” I shout as soon as she answers the call

“If you say George I’m gunna die!!!” She says to me

“I’m being delusional thinking this is going to be a date?? We’re just friends right?”

“Girl I’ve seen the way he looks at you” she smirks

“Okay you NEED to show me outfit options as well you need to look the fuck good” says Katie

“He will be all over you”

I just laugh, worrying she’s getting my hopes to high.

After a few hours you finally decide on an outfit .

///Time skip ///

Y/N pov

11:45am I just finished applying the finishing touches to my makeup as I’m about to leave to meet George.

As I get closer to the mini golf. I see George standing outside he’s just on his phone. He looks unreal. Here comes the butterflies. “He’s just a friend” I tell myself.

“Hello you, you look gorgeous” he says whist pulling me into a hug (ahhhhhhhh I’m dying inside)

“Thanks Georgey you look good as well”

After George bet me at crazy golf , we found a table out in the sun and got some cocktails

“If had such a good day thanks for inviting me” I say to him

“So a good first date then??” He smirks clearly more confident after a few cocktails.

(I’m going to die he planned a date for us!)

“This was a date” I smile looking at him

“Yeah of course, I’ve liked you for a while now, was just not sure how you felt” he says

“I like you too George”

He holds onto your hand

“What do you think about giving us a go”

“I would love to” you can’t wipe the smile of ur face

“Great I’ll get more drinks in to celebrate” he giggles

No one’s pov

As the night carries on it’s about 8pm yous are both a bit tipsy and decide it’s time to head home.

Once you reach ur apartment George looks into ur eyes and leans in toward you, his lips touch yours , they feel like they’re supposed to be there. He holds ur hips and depends the kiss and your hands slide to the back of his neck.

“Been wanting to do that for ages” George says as he hugs you.

[youremyheaven]

need some big sister advice because ive just gotten heartbroken 🫠🫠

i wouldn’t say i got played, because that’s not really the case, but i definitely did get hurt lol 🤣 the guy is two years older than me. sweet, charming, genuinely a gentleman. we were never really talking but there was always a weird tension between us, and sometimes he would do things that were not exactly friend things.

he’s older, and we’re at that age where the two years gap is fine but also has that “older guy” energy. he recently got a girlfriend. she’s so gorgeous, i won’t lie. genuinely has the nicest smile ever, and she’s everything i’m not? or i guess her background is a lot more similar to his than mine. they both come from really wealthy families— they’re both well traveled, well cultured, everything.

my grandparents are wealthy, maybe comparable to his family and hers. my parents are average to higher middle. never mind the context.

there were genuinely so many weird coincidences between us, from line-ups in our past, to other things like same birthmarks or conditions. maybe all this doesn’t matter though, does it? i think all this just contributed to me thinking there was something more between us.

idk i’m just hurt because there were so many things he did that were so sweet, and so nice, and he never really cared about other girls that way. it was all genuine too, and definitely more than friends things. right now im wondering if maybe he just saw me as someone to take care of? someone younger, more naive, and maybe he never actually liked me that way— but then there are other things that he did that were so not friends 😭😭 and even his friends and mine would sometimes ask if we had something going on

sometimes i wonder if the entire friend group was just in on this big joke or maybe im just looking at him with puppy eyes, even though im not that kind. ive been so adamantly against relationships, and this was the first time i actually wanted someone. ive always been so focused on school, internships, taking care of everyone, and then for once i wanted something for myself, and this happened.

im so academic, and i like taking care of people and doing things like knitting/crocheting/embroidery/cooking and all that stay at home things. you get the gist, im basically a homebody and introvert and i just like my own space and peace 😕😕 this girl parties, is always at the beach (me too but we are so different even in this manner because she’s the kind that takes pictures, dresses so well and i admire her so so much for it, while i go and pick up seashells and stare out at the beach 🤣🤣) and she’s just sooo extroverted, the life of the party with everyone, and so charming. and he’s quieter i guess, conventionally attractive, from a good household, a gentleman, stuff like that.

i never thougjt i would be the kind to compare myself to others but this is the first time ive ever felt this way and i just 😞😞

he’s really the nicest, and his girlfriend seems so sweet too, it was just sudden.

any advice? if youve ever been in this situation <33 i know its not really astro/fashion related but i don’t think i can even talk about this to my friends or anyone :c

babygirl 🥺

i understand what you're going through<3 this has to be one of the most difficult experiences in the romance arena tbh,, a guy who is extremely nice to you, gets your expectations up and then ends up dating someone who is the complete opposite of you 😭😭its a terrible feeling and its only natural that youd compare yourself to her,,

the best thing for you to do rn is to distance yourself from them. dont look at their socials, dont meet them often and get as far as u can from them.

its okay to wallow in it and it will take you some time to move on.

its impossible to understand where he was coming from or what his intentions with you were. you dont have to feel like you're silly for having believed that there was something between the two of you. he gave you "special" treatment and thats reason enough. whether or not he had romantic intentions is a different matter.

but the important fact rn is that he indeed has a girlfriend, which means its in ur best interest to avoid him and not contact him during this period so that you dont feel worse than you already do.

did he have feelings for you? was he just a reallyyyyy nice guy with no romantic intentions? was he just toying with you? these are questions that we can't really find answers to rn and no answer will ever really be satisfying enough.

immerse yourself in your hobbies, studies/work and keep yourself engaged. focus on yourself.

obviously an experience like this can take a toll on your self-esteem but these are experiences that will help us grow thick skin. our self worth should never depend on how others treat us. sounds easier said than done but you must always always always remember that how someone treats you is a reflection of their character more than it is of yours.

this can go both ways. if someone is extremely nice/kind/generous with you, it helps to maintain humility when you think its the goodness of their heart that makes them act like that, not you being "special" enough to receive it.

but if someone is mean/nasty/rude etc, thats also because of their character and the poison they carry in their heart. and has nothing to do with you as a person.

its important to build a firm core so that you're not swayed by generosity or broken by malice. you have to be self-content enough to see all things, both good and bad, as temporary. this does not mean you dont appreciate the good stuff or feel bad about poor treatment, you're human and you'll always have feelings but life is long, and you'll meet all kinds of people in life who will say and do all kinds of things, you shouldnt tie your self esteem to it, thats all.

think of these experiences as your immunization process, you're becoming more resilient and strong.

with men, unless and until, they explicitly say they want to take you out or date you or want you to be their gf, its 🚩🚩 and sometimes they even say all this AND play you 😭😭

i hope you have more peaceful days ahead of you and can forget this guy and focus on yourself<3

there are better men waiting for you who will give you the world and never make you second guess anything!! dont be too disheartened, pretend this is ep 4 of a romantic drama, things always get better by ep 16 😉💛💛

[fashionteahouse]

Hey love I don’t know if u seen the movie Adeline but if u have I was wondering if u could do a one where she was married to jasper and had a child but then jasper disappeared then she had to raise the their son alone and after the accident happened she had to flee but still kept contact with her son and her sons family after he had passed then she meets jasper again but he’s a vampire and she’s still human

hi honey! i’ve heard really good reviews about this movie 💜 hope you enjoy :)

last time i saw you - jasper x adeline

Telling him yes was easy. Telling vows to each other was easy. The happiness was overwhelming. Expecting the first bundle of joy was a happy experience that Adeline got to share with Jasper.

The sleepless nights weren’t a trouble, the sounds of the baby’s coos were loud but there was no care in the world. This baby boy was the greatest gift to come into their lives.

Jasper was a family man. After his day of duties, he made sure to come straight home to his wife and son.

Adeline just couldn’t understand the difference in tonight, as she stared at the cold dinner plate on the table. She tried her best to hold on until he got home, but after it being late, she had no choice but to eat dinner alone.

One untouched dinner plate turned into many. She made sure to save a plate of food every night for him, just in case he came home.

The nights were sleepless and it wasn’t because of the small child, it was because Jasper’s side of the bed was empty.

The strength of a woman kicked in. Still not missing a beat of raising the son they shared together, her mind was on her lost husband.

Missing posters were up on street poles, police officers repeatedly told her, “We’re working on it ma’am.” She knew he would just disappear without a trace for no reason.

The distress made Adeline visit her parent’s beach cottage. Both of her parents were babysitting the child while she clears her mind. On the way, a ravine is the reason for the crash of her car. A lightening strike, gave a spark of life back into the woman’s body.

Watching their son grow up caused her to have a mixture of feelings. The small child soon grew up to be a handsome gentleman. She kept staring at him at times, his facial expressions were identical to Jasper’s. A splitting image.

Hugging her son tight, Adeline repeatedly told him congratulations. Not only he graduated high school, he met a wonderful woman who had a ring sitting on her finger. Their son told Adeline to don’t wait up, gave her his promises to be back at home soon, and he took his lady out to a nice dinner.

Driving back home alone, all it took was for a glance of the speed meter and the police pulls her over. The officer couldn’t believe that she didn’t look the age she was supposed to be. Her facial structure didn’t match the date on the identification card.

Having to flee, to avoid the attention of her anti aging self, farewells were sent but her now grown son still kept in contact. Pictures of their family were sent often to make sure Adeline still had a part in the family’s lives.

Living her long lost dream of traveling, she sees a man who looks similar like her son. Getting a good look at him, she realizes that the man who looks like her son, is in fact her missing husband.

“Jasper?” she whispers out.

“Adeline?” he whispers back as they embrace.

Holding each other tightly, questions dance about in their minds.

Being out of earshot from the public, they bring out the questions. Jasper’s eyebrows are furrowed as he looks at his wife. He thought she would’ve been older. She should’ve been older. Her eyes wasn’t a different color like his, making him even more confused.

“You haven’t aged a day.” he states.

“I can say the same to you.” she replies back. They look some more at each other.

“Did you…Did you get bitten?” he whispers.

It’s her turn to furrow her eyebrows, “Bitten? I don’t understand.”

Jasper looks down.

“Were you bitten by anything?” she asks him and brings a hand to his. She realizes that he’s cold. It reminded her of the ice cold lake that she was sinking in.

“Yes.” he says to her truthfully. He brings his eyes up to meet hers, “Why haven’t you aged since the last time I saw you?”

She shakes her head slightly, “You wouldn’t believe me.”

“Tell me, please. I will tell you why I haven’t.” Jasper offers, dying to answers. It killed him not being able to be there for his family.

“I..crashed into a ravine. The lake was freezing cold and the car was sinking and I was stuck. I thought I died. But a lightening strike hit the car and it…brought me back.” she explains and lets out a small breath.

He nods, soaking in the information.

“Are you familiar with…vampires?” he asks her.

“Vampires? Like Dracula?” she says while smiling.

He nods, “That’s why I asked if you were bitten.”

Adeline takes a long look at him. Putting two and two together, the cold skin, the color of the eyes, the non aging body, she asks him, “A vampire has bitten you?” she whispers.

He nods. She understands now. However, she feels a dash of hope. He had to flee just like she did.

He takes his cool hands into hers and gives her his favorite smile that she loved so much, “How’s our son?”

“He’s great. He has a beautiful family. I still keep in contact with them.”

“You do?” he asks.

“Yes.” she replies.

It felt like love at first sight all over again. Jasper finally had hope. Hope for the future that he thought would be frozen forever. Both parties were glad that they didn’t have to spend their long lives without each other.

[risingscorchingsuns]

Hi Leon!! It’s princeblue but my main acc!! Dropping into ask what you think Genya’s and kyojurous, and maybe even senjurou’s dynamic would be like? You said you interested in being moots sooo I’m taking an opportunity to have a convo hehe

omg hello!!!! thank u for sending this i literally have no idea how to start conversations lmaoo

i think it depends on how much they know about each other/where Genya is in his character development! there’s a LOT of factors here so im gonna try and turn it into a formula because that’s my favorite analysis format lol

i don’t know if this is going to make any sense because I don’t know how to do actual math but breaking things into variables makes it easier to sort them in my brain

let’s say K = kyojuro and G = genya. x = how much kyojuro knows about genya, and y = how much genya knows about kyo. a = pre-tanjiro genya and b = post-tanjiro genya. (i assume this would make a difference bc tanjiro makes him less aggressive lol.) Going to leave Senjuro out for now because that’s too many variables for a post that I don’t plan to cross-reference 💀

There’s also the fact that canonically, post-Tanjiro Genya would never meet Kyojuro, but I didn’t think about that until I was nearly done with this post so I’ll leave that variable in as a hypothetical. aG in this scenario can be a control group I guess lol

let’s take (K)x + (aG)y as a base formula, and solve for the dynamic there. assuming x is “Kyojuro knows nothing except Genya’s last name”, and y is “Genya knows Kyojuro as a Hashira and nothing else”, it’s safe to say their dynamic would be mostly professional. Kyojuro, knowing Genya’s last name, would no doubt link him to Sanemi. But Sanemi fervently denies having any siblings, so Kyojuro would likely try to probe Genya for info, due to his brotherly instinct. He’d want to know if something was wrong, so he could help if possible. Assuming we’re dealing with aG, Genya would shirk away the questions, and Kyojuro would back off out of respect. I don’t think Genya would be too rude about it due to Kyojuro being a Hashira, but definitely a bit more irritable and snarky than bG would be.

bG would feel hurt at the mention of Sanemi, but I believe he’d be more open to talking about it. If Genya opens up to Kyojuro, I think they have high potential to form a brotherly relationship given enough time. Kyojuro would feel protective of Genya, and, whether consciously or not, may link him to Senjuro and begin to act brotherly and/or protective of him as well. If Kyojuro knows that Genya eats demons to make himself stronger at the cost of his own health, he’d probably be horrified- food is very important to Kyojuro and he would be mortified at the idea of eating a demon to gain its powers, especially if it hurts the consumer. I’m not sure if he’d try to stop Genya or not, but he’d definitely be concerned about him.

Either way, I think the key variable here is whether or not Genya lets his guard down long enough for Kyojuro to learn his story- then I think their relationship would evolve from professional to a lot more brotherly. Kyojuro can’t entirely help it- it’s in his nature to protect, it’s literally been taught to him since he was old enough to understand. He would want to protect Genya regardless, but learning his story, his sacrifices, and his actions going forward, Kyojuro would almost certainly take him under his own wing if given the chance. I believe Genya would remind Kyojuro of Senjuro- someone who doesn’t fight traditionally, but is so so strong in their own regard. They aren’t exactly the same, but they have enough similarities that i believe Kyo would definitely associate the two.

how knowing Genya would change his perception of Sanemi is also an interesting concept but I’m going to save that for another post lol

anyway pls feel free to plug in different variables for me to analyze???? id like to do them all here but unfortunately i am writing this post so i can procrastinate on my schoolwork so im gonna call it here lol

[detentiontrack]

alter intro???? ALTER INTRO??? (only if u want! /nf. signed, another system)

Sure! Why not. So I can’t make them front on command so this is all written by me (sage)

(Also I’m very early in awareness so there could be more I don’t know about yet. But these are the main ones.)

Cameron/Cam (do NOT call him Cam unless he says you can), 21, he/him, bisexual, protector/deals with triggers and self care, has probably been present since the trauma started.

- comes out if I’m making bad decisions or not taking care of myself (like if I don’t eat or drink water and have no motivation to make food)

- comes out if I’m extremely distressed and can’t use my coping skills, and then makes us do the coping skills himself

- frequently flirts with men and changes my tinder profile to show men

- hates taylor swift for some reason (is a weezer/the front bottoms fan. Also dabbles in boy genius and phoebe bridgers but will never admit it. Sorry Cam lol)

- other than me, he knows the most about psychology (our major) and in a pinch, can function at school (doesn’t like taking tests though so that’s MY responsibility)

- the only other part besides me that knows how to drive (he was the most present when I was learning how to drive because I was so anxious about it)

- yells at me for not eating or sleeping and leaves me nastygrams if I don’t take care of myself

-

Lily, 17-25 depending, she/her, no sexuality (not aromantic, she just hates everyone equally and thinks all people are inherently untrustworthy and bad and thinks we should not have ANY relationships. We’re working on that in therapy.) persecutor, been present since about age 9, deals with conflict, holds residual eating disorder symptoms (mostly body/appearance based symptoms) also can’t experience social anxiety or insecurity.

- is the only one who really meets the criteria for BPD (shocker /s)

- deals with interpersonal conflicts like relationship and family issues.

- literally hates everyone. Especially Cameron. It feels like trying to gentle parent kindergarteners when they’re both co conscious.

- hyper feminine. Will dress my body up with makeup and hairstyles and fancy clothes even if we’re just going to the grocery store.

- sometimes comes out or is co conscious when I’m feeling really insecure or socially anxious

- that annoying vegan + low carb + low sugar girlie. Yells at me if I eat bread twice in the same day.

- to be fair to her, used to be a LOT worse. Her role while living in an abusive household used to be to be super oppositional and stand up for us and our siblings so no one gets hurt. She has bitten someone before and would do it again. Literally isn’t afraid of anything. This can backfire though if someone hurts my feelings and she wants revenge.

- doesn’t like driving and doesn’t know how to drive but always wants to front while I’m driving

- doesn’t know anything about our education or the things we learned in school, and thinks our major is cringe.

- thinks literally everything is cringe and lame

- just told me this post is stupid and everyone should “mind their own goddamn fucking business” (I, Sage, don’t feel that way though!! Ask whatever you’d like /gen)

(???) I’ve been referring to him as Jared. Ageless (but I get middle aged man vibes) No pronouns or sexuality (I just go with he/him), present since the start of trauma, last resort alter

- by last resort, I mean his job is to completely shut off all emotions if it’s not safe to process them in the moment. During the abuse, it manifested in going completely “blank”, and now as I navigate triggers, he shuts off all emotions and makes me numb like a robot and fronts until I’m in a safe place.

(Like it happened a while back when I got triggered at a grocery store. He kept us together until I got to my car and could breakdown and allowed me + Cam to deal with it)

- Cam HATES him because he believes that we should be processing our emotions in the moment and not repressing things (which is fair, because I repressed all emotions and trauma for a long time, but sometimes I need to keep it together at work or in school or in public)

- rarely ever talks or is co conscious. It’s all or nothing with him.

(I don’t feel comfortable saying her name online for personal reasons so I’ll call her C) C, 8/9-11. She/her. No sexuality because she is a child. Child alter (the term “little” personally icks me out)

- rarely ever fully fronts but loves making her presence known

- my therapist and I’s best guess is that she’s basically me if I hadn’t gone through all of the trauma and lost my childhood innocence (I also was always expected to function like an adult in my actual childhood so I never really got to act like a kid)

- likes “childish” media like amphibia, toh, and inside out/io2

- likes to dance and be silly

- biggest fan of lily but lily HATES her and thinks she’s annoying

- comes out when listening to certain pop songs or when I’m being silly with my little siblings

- doesn’t have the ability to feel angry and doesn’t know what abuse or trauma is. Remembers absolutely nothing from our childhood. My therapist and I are working to understand if she even knows if she’s a part of a system

[nereidprinc3ss]

can’t believe we’re the same age and you’re writing the way I’ve been wanting to for years- the little connections you make to the show, external media, mythology, Hozier, etc, ugh, I can’t wait for more of the dybmn series. truly some of the best writing I’ve ever come across, so good it’s only making me more delusional-

but seriously, you’re unmatched and I can’t wait for more.

you make every feeling extend to the reader so expertly, so much so that even in my own lack of experience in all things romantic, I feel pulled in like they’re all my own. that’s seriously the kind of writing I could only hope to achieve some day too, to bring people to tears, to laughter, to love.

I’d love to see a series from you based fully on Hozier’s work, or even a minuscule drabble at least, something full of carnal passion like part 7. which, by the way, again, so good. all her feelings, down to the drowsiness at the beginning, I felt myself, all from your words.

phenomenal work.

so much love <3

ohhhhh i love u so much

all i could ever hope for with my writing is to make it feel familiar to people, and to make the emotions and sensations and experiences recognizable like they are their own. i love when im reading something and i get a sense of deja vu or even a strange territorial feeling like I get offended that the author went into my brain and plucked out an emotion that i thought was so niche i was the only person who’d had it and it couldn’t be put into words, or alternatively like you said they drop me in a situation that is completely alien and somehow manage to use words to bring it to life until it’s basically superimposed around me and i feel like im in two places at once and two people at once and ik EXACTLY how the reader feels. while im far from being like a masterful writer or anything for me the fun part of writing is having an image in my head and feelings that i want to convey and then having to translate that into words, like finding a way to make the abstract tangible, it’s almost synesthetic and the fact that you picked up on that is very very rewarding to hear

and i actually have considered doing a one shot for every song off of hozier’s first album LOL but considering margot requested one like four months ago that i still have not finished (BUT IS NOT DEAD TO ME) we shall see if it ever comes to pass

anyway thank you so much sorry i can never keep things brief LOL

[bright-and-burning]

got tagged by @albonoooo !! thank u <3

what colour are your eyes?: i have (very mild) heterochromia!! they’re mostly green but my left eye has a little brown stripe :) i guess u could call them hazel (or at least the left one) my mom certainly did for ages idk picture below u decide

(cont under the cut)

tell me about your pets/your dream pet: i (well. my family) have an orange cat and a porgi (pitbull corgi mix [he’s really just a mutt but we’re like 95% sure he’s got corgi in him somehow]). they are the lights of my life and also the goofiest lookin mfs. i’ve posted pics of my cat before but my dog is like. really distinct looking (see: porgi) but i love him so much … ask me for photos of him n u shall receive…

my apartment is pet free unfortunately. but also taking care of another whole ass being is A Lot so. i’m very chill w not having my own rn

share some interesting fact about yourself: i went to a spanish speaking daycare when i was really young (like toddler aged) and then when i was like 7 i invented my own language (as one does) and half the words were just. spanish. my parents spent ages trying to convince me that i did not just come up w the word espagnol . i swear to god. and i was a stubborn know it all kid and i wasn’t gonna believe them on anything without irrefutable proof (and how do u prove that??) so their efforts were largely fruitless LOL

what was the first fandom you were a part of?: for SURE harry potter. 9 year old me had unsupervised internet access and went craaazy

do you have any phobias?: hm. i Really Really Really don’t like things going near my eyes. it was wayyy worse before i started wearing contacts. like someone waving their hands around within three feet of me would freak me out. i do still get like. inescapable visions of pencils being waved around and accidentally put in my eye when i think abt it/when ppl wave pencils around that i have to physically shake out of

are you a picky eater? if so, what food can't you stand?: YES! texture issues my beloathed… i DESPISE melted cheese. blergh. bad bad vibes. and other funky textured cheeses… i literally just physically shuddered.

do you eat the burger and fries at the same time or one after another?: i consciously choose to eat burger first to get protein in. and THEN fries. if burger too hot then i get to eat two (must be even number) fries at a time until it cools enough to eat

winter or summer: summer <3 i love the beach i love the sun i love 6am runs where it’s already 75° i love swimming i love fun festivals. but also summer is a mindset . if it’s 65° in march im walking around in shorts and a tank top and sitting in the sun the entire day

favourite fanfiction tropes: oh gosh… best friends to lovers… idk i read it all baby. also gonna be honest the f1 interpretations of a/b/o are FASCINATING!!! and have really increased the draw by Far for me

are you studying or working? what do you study/is your job?: working! i am a silly little analyst

what is the last country you visited: canada in june to get drunk by the lake for a week <3

what country would you want to move to after retiring?: france… maybe not. but also maybe yeah. idk i don’t have any other strong connections to places, u kno? and i’d like to travel (fingers crossed i Can retire at an age where i can still travel easily lol)

who was your first crush?: gene kelly in singin in the rain and on the town… formative movies for 3y/o me

how did you get into f1 fandom?: web weavings on tumblr + like three random instagram reels (the mclaren wavelength video being the only one i remember lol) + the empty hole unemployment left me with inside = instant obsession

no pressure tag…. @oscarpiastriwdc @ocontraire @crimsonicarus @lafaerie @mecachrome

[cosmichealingg]

pinned .ᐟ

Hai !! Welcome 2 my page !

My name is Keith and I’m a non-community aligned adult age regressor! I regress to the ages 0-5 and frequently consider myself 2-3.

I regress due to childhood trauma and pretty severe c-ptsd. I am also autistic and I use age regression to give myself a childhood that I was denied. My regression is a huge, and important, part of my life and I regress/dream near daily. I don’t consider myself a forever kid as I am not always in headspace, though.

I am a cisgender male, though sometimes I feel a little genderflux. I am also MLM and I have two amazing boyfriends. Both are my caregivers and are respectively referred to as “daddy” and “bubba”. We are polyamorous and love each other very much 🫶

My special interests include space, dinosaurs, horror, and health/medicine. I have a lot of hyperfixations and some include Blues Clues, Scooby Doo, Sesame Street, My Little Pony, American Girl Dolls, etc.

I’m sensitive to things like bright lights and loud sounds, and I get overwhelmed by too many things going on or people talking to me at the same time.

Some of my positive triggers are my special interests and hyperfixations, huskies, toy shopping, spending time with friends, baking, and spending time with my boys.

My regression is mostly positive but sometimes it’s impure or involuntary. For me this can look all different ways.

I like to play with toys like little people and food, and I like to color. I like watching cartoons and movies too!

When I’m sad sometimes I like to watch comfort shows and movies. I also like to just cuddle with my cg’s or vent.

When regressed I have issues with bladder control and cues like hunger. This is due to interoception issues caused by my autism. Because of this I use pull ups and diapers and will sometimes post about it. This is a comfort and medical need for me and is never sexual.

My DNI includes:

Anti-agere/petre

MAP/MIK

Ableist in any way

System fake claimers

LGBTQ+ phobic

Gore/thinspo

Anyone under 13

My boundaries are:

Don’t ask to be my caregiver.

Don’t ask super invasive questions.

Don’t baby talk in my dms if we’re not close.

Don’t ask “can we be friends” if we’ve never talked before.

Don’t sexualize my regression or question my intentions.

Don’t ask for face photos or other kinds of invasive content.

Disclaimer:

I am not anti ab/dl or cgl. I prefer nonsexual interactions because this is meant to be a safe space but at the same time it is my safe space.

I do not cater to everyone and if you are uncomfortable with who I follow or who follows me, you are more than welcome to unfollow and there are no hard feelings.

My account is for me and my healing.

I do not, and will not (most of the time) promote kink accounts or share kink content. I may share posts from 18+ or ab/dl affiliated shops but that does not mean that the items are inherently sexual to me.

I am an adult and while I don’t personally participate in these kinks, I do know people/friends who do. I believe that everyone has a right to heal or express themselves in their own ways. I don’t believe that it is right to judge how people cope.

This being said, my account will always be a nonsexual space.

I’m most active on my Instagram, @cosmic.healingg

My dada has an tumblr account too! @neptunedada

Thnk u 4 reading!!

Divider credits:

@benkeibear

@neon-knightz

@bunnysrph