#like by god. there are more posts about bruce in the lois tag than her own son

[kara-zor-els]

The amount of Bruce/superbat posts in the Lois Lane tag... I need Darkseid to kill the bat again actually

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[beatrice-otter]

Longfic Recs

So, over in fictional_fans, melannen is doing a collaborative set of longfic recs for while we're all staying inside and physically isolated from one another.  Here's my first set of contributions.  Almost all of these are over 50k, and many of the ones who say they're shorter are just the first stories in their series.  But there are a few shorter ones that I couldn't not rec.

DC:

Nature and Nurture (109065 words) by lurkinglurkerwholurks Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Batman & Red Hood, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Bruce Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Barbara Gordon & Bruce Wayne, Barbara Gordon & Dick Grayson Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Red Hood (DCU), Nightwing, Oracle (DCU), Alfred Pennyworth, Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, Cassandra Cain, Selina Kyle, Harvey Dent Additional Tags: Distressing screams, Jason Todd is Red Hood, In which Red Hood panics mildly, Age Regression/De-Aging, But not cutesy de-aging, There are hugs and kisses though, Rated for Profanity, It was Jason of course, Mention of loss of parents, Angst, Angst and Feels, Mention of canon drug use, Mild Blood, Surprise the profanity is also Bruce, Angst and Hurt/Comfort Summary: It was a no good, very bad night all around, and it kept getting worse. In which the writer explores some classic tropes, indulges in some BatFam feels, and explores the effects of nature and nurture on the psyche of one Bruce Thomas Wayne. I Wanna Kiss You Like They Do In The Movies (4745 words) by Cy_kun Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Underage Relationships: Damian Wayne/Colin Wilkes Characters: Colin Wilkes, Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne Additional Tags: Fluff, Humor, tiny boyfriends, with tiny crushes, Bruce really doesn't understand his son's smol future husband, they're both ten, so obviously no sex, I mention Christmas once so this will probably count as my Christmas story Series: Part 1 of Son of Batman Summary:  "Mr Batman, can I marry Damian?" Or, the one where Colin can't stop thinking about kissing Damian, and for some reason thinks Bruce can handle that. Countless Roads (231868 words) by nirejseki, robininthelabyrinth Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart Characters: Leonard Snart, Mick Rory, Leonard Snart's Mother, Lisa Snart, Lewis Snart, Barry Allen, Wally West, Jefferson "Jax" Jackson, Iris West, Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow, Eobard Thawne | Harrison Wells, Nora Allen, Zoom, Earth-2 Harrison "Harry" Wells, Ronnie Raymond, Martin Stein, Earth-2 Ronnie Raymond, Earth-2 Caitlin Snow, Earth-3 Jay Garrick, Sara Lance, Ray Palmer, Rip Hunter, Kendra Saunders, Carter Hall, Time Masters (DC's Legends of Tomorrow), Time Wraiths (The Flash), George "Digger" Harkness Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Ghosts, DEADFIC, Very Long Fic, Canonical Child Abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, not a slow burn Summary: Due to a family curse (which some call a gift), Leonard Snart has more life than he knows what to do with – and that gives him the ability to see, speak to, and even share with the various ghosts that are always surrounding him.

Sure, said curse also means he’s going to die sooner rather than later, just like his mother, but in the meantime Len has no intention of letting superheroes, time travelers, a surprisingly charming pyromaniac, and a lot of ghosts get in the way of him having a nice, successful career as a professional thief.

Sometimes I wish I could fly, Like a bird up in the sky (8815 words) by fresne Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kal-el/Lois Lane Characters: Kal-el, Lois Lane Additional Tags: Character of Color, Biracial Character, Chromatic!Superman, Chromatic Character, Dark Agenda, Racebending Revenge Challenge, Podfic Available Summary: Written for the Racebending Challenge. For the challenge to depict a white character as a chromatic character, Kryptonians are black and Kal-El landed in Kansas in the Action Comic timeline.

This one's a WIP, but it is such an interesting idea, skillfully written, that I couldn't resist reccing it.

Robins and Other Flightless Birds (84920 words) by Ionaperidot Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent Characters: Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Cassandra Cain, Damian Wayne, Kate Kane, Talia al Ghul, Athanasia al Ghul Additional Tags: Dad Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson is a Talon, catatonic jason, tim drake was joker junior, bruce wayne's messiah complex, in which bruce runs around the multiverse collecting orphans, Kon and Selina and Oliver Queen are around, and various assorted Justice League members Series: Part 1 of Flightless Birds Summary: It begins with another Bruce, looking around his cave and asking, “So where are the kids?”

Bruce has never thought about having a family before. But once the idea occurs to him, it's hard to think about anything else.

Latchkey (54546 words) by goldkirk Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Alfred Pennyworth, more to be added as the story progresses, Ace the Bat-Hound Additional Tags: Tim Drake-centric, Kid Tim Drake, Listen I play fast and loose with canon, Bruce is charmed by Tim’s genius and stupid brain, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Child Neglect, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Warnings will be posted as necessary with each chapter, Batfamily (DCU), none character deaths with left found family, in this house we love and appreciate therapy lessons and trauma recovery, and also proper care and keeping of children, Tim Drake Gets a Hug, Sibling Bonding, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Stalker Tim Drake, You think DICK is a mama hen? get ready for not-dead Jason Todd!!!!!, Jewish Bruce Wayne, Jewish Tim Drake, lots and lots of comfort Summary: Or, How Tim Drake Found A Family, Became A Photojournalist, Learned To Love Coffee, and Grew Up, not necessarily in that order.

Tim Drake is thirteen, runs the famous BatWatch blog that has spiraled hilariously out of control, has absentee parents that suit his purposes just fine, is training himself to run the streets at night, and is doing absolutely peachy, thank you. Alfred and Jason disagree, and get Dick and Bruce involved in figuring out their weird nextdoor neighbor kid’s life. Everything goes uphill from there.

If You Don't Grow (105707 words) by GeneratorCat Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd Characters: Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Barbara Gordon, Clark Kent, Kon-El | Conner Kent, Bart Allen Additional Tags: good big brother Dick, Healing, Slow Burn, Tim and Jason are kids at the start of this but worry not- nothing happens for a while, tags to be added as the story develops, Past Abuse, Smoking, Dick is trying his best, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Someone gets punched, but they deserve it, Tim starts off a little brat, but then gets some sweet sweet character development, though don't be mistaken he's still a mischievous boy, Embarrassment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Homeschooling, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dick has anger issues, talking! about feelings!, has been described as: Lots of broken birds being rehabilitated by each other, and i must agree, Batman!Dick, lots of hugs, awkward sex talks, Demisexual Tim Drake, Knitting, Found Family, Cuddles, we getting soft y'all, Pining, Bruce is trying, Perceived Homophobia, Abandonment Issues, even more awkward sex talks, graysexual Jason Todd, embarrassing dad Dick Grayson, god they're so in love, god jason is an idiot, Accidental Boner, someone gets punched again, Fix-it fic, First Kiss, Masturbation, Jason Todd's sweet sixteen Summary: “I need to take care of myself. I can take care of myself.” “You shouldn’t have to, you’re just a kid.” God, does Dick know that. He knows what it feels like to be doing things you shouldn’t have to do at such a young age. About feeling like you have to take care of yourself, be strong and useful.

He knows now it’s bullshit.

(Officer Dick Grayson meets Jason on the street.) ((Alternatively titled: In which Dick pulls a Bruce))

one day this will all be yours (32586 words) by suzukiblu Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kon-El | Conner Kent & Lex Luthor, Clark Kent & Kon-El | Conner Kent, Superboy & Team, Kon-El | Conner Kent/M'gann M'orzz Characters: Kon-El | Conner Kent, Lex Luthor, Clark Kent, M'gann M'orzz, Kaldur'ahm (DCU), Dick Grayson, Artemis Crock, Wally West, Mercy Graves Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Timeline, Family Drama, Family Feels, Found Family, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Protectiveness, Amnesia, Temporary Amnesia, Father-Son Relationship, Two Fathers, Parent-Child Relationship, Team as Family, Team Bonding, Kidnapping, Flashbacks Summary: “You know, I used to think if I had different parents my life would be different,” Artemis says neutrally as she lines up a shot, and Superboy looks away from the punching bag, a little surprised to hear her speak.

Marvel:

god loves everybody, don't remind me (70381 words) by napricot Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Erik Killmonger & T'Challa Characters: Erik Killmonger, T'Challa (Marvel), T'Chaka (Marvel), Ramonda (Marvel), Shuri (Marvel), Okoye (Marvel), Nakia (Black Panther), N'Jobu (Marvel), Erik Killmonger's Mother, Bast, Linda (Black Panther movies), W'Kabi (Marvel), Ulysses Klaue, Everett Ross, Zuri (Marvel) Additional Tags: Time Loop, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Wakanda (Marvel), Djalia | Ancestral Plane (Marvel), Erik Killmonger Lives, Family Summary:  N’Jadaka didn’t believe in the gods of his people. But belief was not a prerequisite of the gods’ attention, and the blood of the Panther tribe ran in N’Jadaka’s veins. Bast took hold of his soul in her mighty jaws and lifted it free of his body. She gave him a warning shake, just as she would a misbehaving kitten, and set him back. With one careful claw, she tweaked his path through time into a twisting loop. Wayward and abandoned though he was, N’Jadaka was still of her tribe. He could set things right, if given the chance.

Erik gets a do-over. Erik gets a lot of do-overs. Or: Erik Killmonger's own personal version of Groundhog Day, only with a lot more murder, dying, trips to the ancestral plane, awkward family conversations, and divine intervention.

If They Haven't Learned Your Name (237623 words) by silentwalrus Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Pepper Potts, Maria Hill, Clint Barton, Nick Fury, Peggy Carter, Phil Coulson, Thor Additional Tags: Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, standard Winter Soldier trauma umbrella, POV Alternating, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Weirdness, Llamas, Bucky Barnes Has A Complicated Relationship With UFOs, Thirty Korean Grandmothers, Steve And Sam Vs. Canoe, Natasha Is Taking It Personally, Consent Issues, One (1) Orgasm, Podfic Available, Russian Translation Available, do not copy to another site Summary: Steve gets out of the hospital in two days, but just barely. “I’m fine,” he tells Sam, Nurse Eunjung and the phalanx of doctors assigned to make sure Captain America didn’t bleed out and die and get bad PR all over their nice clean hospital. “I have an advanced healing factor. It’s fine. See? I’m standing.”

“That is not standing,” Sam tells him.

“You’re bending the IV stand,” Nurse Eunjung adds pointedly. “Let go and sit down, they don’t grow on trees.”

aka Steve and Bucky's Global Honeymoon Revenge World Tour.

You Would Be In Clover (126894 words) by ChibiSquirt Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Howard Stark, Peggy Carter, Sharon Carter (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Gay Bucky Barnes, Female Steve Rogers, Marriage Proposal, Marriage of Convenience, Religion, Miscarriage, Smoking, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Sexism, Closeted Character, Open Marriage, Crossdressing, Howard Stark/Steve Rogers (minor ship), Bucky Barnes/Others (offscreen), Polyamory, Vaginal Fingering, Penis In Vagina Sex, Oral Sex, Mutual Masturbation, Rimming, Consensual Sex, First Time, First Kiss, Period-Typical Racism, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Genderswap, Genderbending Summary:  Sarah “Gwen” Rogers was nineteen when she married Bucky Barnes, and she knew at the time just how stupid it was: it wasn’t exactly a brilliant move to marry a man who could never love her, even—or especially—when she knew that she was in love with him.

Neither of them could have predicted the war that came, and if they had, then they sure as hell couldn’t have predicted what would happen when Gwen volunteered for Project: Rebirth.

fight like girls for our place at the table (52110 words) by napricot Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sharon Carter/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Sharon Carter Characters:Sharon Carter (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Nick Fury, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Peggy Carter, Antoine Triplett, James "Bucky" Barnes Additional Tags: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, POV Sharon Carter (Marvel), Slow Burn, Surveillance, Double Dating, Bucky Barnes' Attempts at Being a Wingman, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Time Summary: “Am I on Cap watch because of who my aunt is?” Sharon asks Fury point-blank the second she sits in his office.

“That’s part of the reason, yeah,” Fury says. Sharon narrows her eyes at him, and opens her mouth to object. “But not all of the reason. This isn’t a demotion.”

“It sure feels like a demotion. You’re taking me out of the field and out of intel analysis to babysit Captain America.”

How Sharon Carter gets her groove back, fucks up some Nazis, and gets the girl, with unasked for assists from a super soldier couple.

Châtelaine et senêschale (21859 words) by Feather Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pepper Potts & Original Female Character Characters: Pepper Potts, Tony Stark, Original Female Character Additional Tags: Pepper Potts and her team of badass ladies, ladies in the Tower, hypercompetent women, people with absurdly high IQ, Pepper wants to save the world, Pepper runs a super-efficient company, acute traumatic stress disorder, Post-Battle of New York, Post-Iron Man 3, Pepper is kind of not okay, quietly retconning implausible/insulting canon moments, Tony's terrible people skills Series: Part 1 of Settle in and find your home Summary: A quintet of essential moments including the Stark Industries Chief Legal Officer.

This is the first in a series of stories about side characters in Your Blue Eyed Boys, a massive Stucky series dealing seriously with Bucky's trauma.  YBEB is awesome, but Settle in and find your home is even better.

Where the Need is Greatest (19717 words) by Niitza Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers Characters: Steve Rogers, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Tony Stark, Original Characters Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Steve Rogers vs. the American Military, paramedic steve rogers, Médicins Sans Frontières | Doctors Without Borders, Syria, Syrian Civil War, Hydra, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Implied/Referenced Torture, POV Alternating, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Somewhat dark humor, Nick Fury Doesn't Get Paid Enough For This Shit, Humanitarian Intervention, Implied/Referenced Violence, Timeline What Timeline, Podfic Available, do not copy to another site Summary: In which Steve Rogers takes one look at the history of American military interventions since the end of World War II and nopes straight out of it, follows in his Ma's footsteps to become a paramedic, joins Doctors Without Borders, gets sent on an unsanctioned humanitarian mission to Syria, and somehow still ends up being a determining factor in Hydra's downfall - all of this without throwing a single punch. Somehow, he's okay with it.

This one's short, but oh, so good

Scents and Sensibility: The Working Assassin's Guide to Supersoldier Seduction(93216 words) by skellerbvvt, silentwalrus, galwednesday Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Melinda May, Maria Hill, James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers Additional Tags: Clownfish ABO, Everyone Has A Peen And A Vageen, Gender Spectrum Society, Scents & Smells, Courtship, Alternate Universe, One Thousand And One Blankets, Pod People But Not Like That, Precious Idiot Virgin Winter Soldier, Institutionalized Softism, Curtain Fic, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Bathing/Washing, Melon Tending, Transformative Works Welcome, do not copy to another site Summary: Captain America wakes up from the ice in 2013. The Winter Soldier wakes up in 2009, or rather defects from HYDRA, for a value of defect that’s closer to decimate. He ends up working for SHIELD. In April 2014, he’s assigned to Captain America’s mission as a sniper.

Steve’s just trying to get some kind of life together. Bucky is too, or at least he was until tall, blond and Captain shows up and starts just - being there, all the time. It’s terrible. It’s the worst. He has to do something about it.

the other side of infinity (84282 words) by tielan Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Nick Fury & Maria Hill, Maria Hill & Sam Wilson & Bucky Barnes & Wanda Maximoff, Maria Hill & Jane Foster, Peter Quill & Groot & Mantis & Drax, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Nick Fury & T'Challa, Maria Hill/Steve Rogers, Maria Hill & Sam Wilson Characters: Maria Hill, Nick Fury, T'Challa, Sam Wilson (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Peter Parker, Stephen Strange, Jane Foster (Marvel), Loki (Marvel), Brunnhilde | Valkyrie (Marvel), Hela (Marvel), Groot (Marvel), Mantis (Marvel), Drax the Destroyer, Rocket Raccoon, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Carol Danvers, Hulk (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Thor (Marvel), Ayo (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff, Vision (Marvel), Chewie | Goose (Marvel) Additional Tags: Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), action-adventure, Canon-Typical Violence, Infinity Gems, Infinity Gauntlet, Sacrifice, Fan theories, Avengers: Infinity War Fix-It, Eventual Happy Ending, infinity war fix-it, this really is my endgame, Trope: Against All Odds, Infinity (Marvel), Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Infinity Stone Soul World (Marvel), Soul Gem (Marvel) Summary: On the other side of the moment, those turned to dust may no longer be 'alive', but they're damn well not helpless.  This is the story of how they saved themselves.

when i die i’ll sacrifice (more than enough for the afterlife) (41322 words) by notcaycepollard Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson Characters: Natasha Romanov (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Nick Fury, Phil Coulson, Maria Hill, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Additional Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Endgame, Various Background Relationships - Freeform, Red Room (Marvel), discussion of Red Room reproductive violence, Pining, spot the Marvel cameos, Family, animal cruelty mention, animal death mention Series: Part 1 of a flame in two cupped hands Summary: The fall is longer than Natasha expects. It’s tears cold on her face, teeth bitten all the way through her lip and the taste of copper in her mouth; she’s falling and falling and then, bracing for impact—she wakes up.

Downton Abbey:

Halo Effect (81331 words) by Alex51324 Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Thomas Barrow/Original Male Character(s), Thomas Barrow & Anna Bates Characters: Thomas Barrow, Anna Bates, John Bates Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, season one AU, Edwardian Gays, Historical Accuracy, Great War, Period-Typical Homophobia Series: Part 1 of Halo Effect Summary: The Halo Effect is the tendency for a positive impression in one area to produce a more generous or optimistic interpretation of ambiguous information in other areas.  When Thomas rescues Lady Mary from the nefarious attentions of Turkish houseguest Kemal Pamuk, his employers and coworkers begin to see him differently...and Things Get Better.

A Season One AU diverging from canon in Episode 3, The One Where The Turkish Gentleman Dies in Mary's Bed.

Star Wars:

Hindsight is Not Perfect (61864 words) by DAsObiQuiet Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Shmi Skywalker, Watto (Star Wars), Qui-Gon Jinn, Padmé Amidala, Yoda, Siri Tachi, Palpatine | Darth Sidious, Finis Valorum, Panaka (Star Wars), Mace Windu Additional Tags: Time Travel, Fix-It of Sorts, Time Travel Fix-It, Redemption, Well he tries Series: Part 1 of Force of Many Sights Summary: Paved with good intentions or not, the road back from Hell is a difficult, slippery slope for those who choose to walk it as Anakin has. Now he has to face the consequences of his choices, avoid suspicion of everyone from the Jedi Council to Palpatine and try to prevent the future from turning out as badly Before all while somehow finding a way to balance the Force... again!

Shape-Changer (2330 words) by Fialleril Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Palpatine, Shmi Skywalker, Kitster Banai, a Tatooine wise woman Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Double Agent Vader, Storytelling, Tatooine Slave Culture, Small Acts of Resistance, Tricksters, Worldbuilding, Original Mythology Series: Part 1 of Double Agent Vader Summary: His Master liked to say that Vader was born in fire on Mustafar. But Ekkreth was born in the desert.

New Lands for the Living (50241 words) by SassySnowperson Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Poe Dameron/Luke Skywalker Characters: Poe Dameron, Luke Skywalker, Owen Lars, Beru Whitesun, Winter Celchu, Leia Organa, Bodhi Rook Additional Tags: Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, POV Poe Dameron, Marriage of Convenience, Slow Burn, (with a fast marriage), Pining for Spouse, Action/Adventure, Angst and Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Additional Warnings In Author's Note Summary: The war is over, and nobody won. With the galaxy on the verge of destruction, Poe Dameron hatches a desperate plan—go back in time. But Poe's plan quickly goes awry, and he finds himself on the run from local authorities. The only plan to keep him safe is…extreme, to say the least.

 "Can't get you citizenship documents," the man muttered, his voice clearer now that it wasn't muffled by the scarf. Poe took a deep breath and forced himself to think. He looked back at his would-be rescuer.

Who was shoving the scarf back from the top his head, revealing a face that Poe knew. That lots of people knew. Kriff, that everyone knew, trillions upon trillions of sapients in the galaxy would recognize that face.

Luke Skywalker—as fresh-faced and young as the day he became the successful destroyer of the Death Star—was standing in front of him.

Fuck.

"Need a land grant to get a moisture farmer licence, can't even get you a travel visa without citizenship documents…Hm," the legend said, sighing. "Yeah. I think we're going to have to get married."

 Things You Missed in History Class (3713 words) by Grey_Bard Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Finn (Star Wars), Rey (Star Wars) Additional Tags: Time Travel Fix-It Summary: Having traveled back in time, Rey and Finn have decided to set right what once went wrong. Too bad they have no idea what actually once went wrong.

This one is short but it is SO GOOD, HOLY COW

Imperial Radch

Fragments (30130 words) by pipistrelle Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Awn Elming & Justice of Toren One Esk, Awn Elming/Justice of Toren One Esk Characters: Awn Elming, Justice of Toren (Imperial Radch), Justice of Toren One Esk Four Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives but not quite, Fix-It, imagine if the dumbest and most lovestruck segment of One Esk ran away with Awn and had a picnic, that's where this fic lives, Awn survives, lots of talking, and swearing, a little bit of plot but not much, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Worldbuilding, Fake Marriage, kind of, Queerplatonic Relationships Summary: “We're fleeing Radch space. Of course we’re fleeing Radch space, I refused an order and you...” She paused. Then, very clearly and feelingly, she said, “Fuck.”  Sometimes the path of justice and beneficence is clear. Sometimes you have to make your own.

Check, Please!

From the Ground Up (167381 words) by Rianne Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kent "Parse" Parson/Original Male Character(s) Characters: Kent "Parse" Parson, Original Male Character(s), Original Characters, Jeff "Swoops" Troy, Las Vegas Aces (Ensemble), Original Male Character(s) of Color, Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Angst, Fluff, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Until it's resolved that is, Hockey, (Obviously), Eventual Smut, Slurs Series: Part 1 of Kent Parson deserves nice things Summary: Kent has a pretty good life. It’s been a couple years since the Aces last won a cup, but he’s still at the height of his career. He has an apartment with a stunning view over Vegas, a best friend who’s always dragging him to basketball games, a cat to cuddle with, and more money than he could ever spend.

Everything is fine.

So it won’t be a problem at all if he strikes up a friendship with that guy he meets at the All-Star party.

Tomas enjoyed the years he spent in Minnesota, but he’s ready for a new life in a different city. It means he’ll be even further from his friends and family in Quebec, and he’s not sure he’s going to adapt well to the desert. But he’ll have his new job to distract him, and he’s never minded the challenge of developing a new circle of friends and acquaintances.

He doesn’t expect Kent Parson to be part of that.

Like Real People Do (153388 words) by xiaq Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kent "Parse" Parson/omc, Kent Parson/OMC, Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann Characters: Kent "Parse" Parson, Swoops (Check Please!), Eric Bittle, Jack Zimmermann, Alexei "Tater" Mashkov, OMC Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Alternate Universe - College/University, figure skating, Sharing a Bed, Friends to Lovers, Coming Out, Hockey, NCAA hockey, Disabled Character, service dog, Happy Ending, Fluff, Banter, I just want Kent Parson to be happy ok, Living Together, Domestic Fluff, NHL, Closeted Character, Angst with a Happy Ending, but only like 2 chapters of REAL angst, TBI, Injury, Injury Recovery, parsepositive, Hurt/Comfort, Humor, idiots to lovers Summary: Parson gestures with his spoon toward Hawke. “So am I allowed to ask about the service dog or is that not PC?”

“My medical history is more of a 3rd date conversation," Eli says.

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Because. No one sticks around afterward and I like to live in glorious denial for a short period beforehand.”

It comes out more self-deprecating than he intended.

Parson looks…thoughtful. “Well, does this count as one or two?

“Pardon?”

“This. Ice cream. I mean, technically it’s a second location, but still the same night. So is this one date or two?”

“One,” Eli says firmly. “If it’s happening within the same three-hour period.”

“You’re the expert,” Parson says, which, he’s really, really, not, but ok.

“So still two dates to go then?” Parson continues.

“I—what?”

“We’ve got a roadie coming up but then we’re home for almost two weeks. When does your semester start?”

“You want to do this again?” Eli asks.

Parson stops idly twirling his spoon.

“You don’t?”

He does, Eli realizes. He really does. Because apparently he actually likes Kent fucking Parson.

Original Work

Superstition (16000 words) by Superstition_hockey Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: OC/OC Additional Tags: Hockey Gods, Bromance to Romance, Codependent Bros for Life, Accidental Marriage, Homophobia in sports, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Hockey typical violence, Unsafe Sex, Oral Sex, Frottage Series: Part 1 of Superstition Summary: He thinks about the times he’s heard his dad, his aunts and uncles, cousins, sports casters on the news joking about the hockey gods, wonders if they’re real. Maybe they are. Maybe if he works hard enough, gives them enough sweat and blood and time…

Mulan

primped and polished till you glow with pride (11363 words) by VagabondDawn Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Fa Mulan/Li Shang Characters: Fa Mulan (Disney), Li Shang, Fa Zhou Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage Series: Part 1 of primped and polished Summary: Fa Zhou gets offered an advisory position in the Imperial City instead of riding to war and Fa Mulan finds her second attempt at Matchmaking goes better than the first.

Chronicles of Narnia

No Ordinary Letter (5680 words) by Transposable_Element Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Aravis, Kidrash Tarkaan, Peridan (Narnia), Shar (Narnia OMC), Shasta | Cor Additional Tags: Calormen, Family, Cultural Differences Series: Part 1 of Love and Honor Summary: Aravis begins the process of reconciling with her father.

Silmarillion/Lord of the Rings

And What Happened After (73740 words) by thearrogantemu Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bilbo Baggins & Frodo Baggins, Bilbo Baggins & Manwë Súlimo, Frodo Baggins & Fëanor, Samwise Gamgee & Maglor, Frodo Baggins & Sam Gamgee Characters: Bilbo Baggins, Frodo Baggins, Gandalf, Elrond, Mandos | Námo, Manwë, Fëanor, Sam Gamgee, Sons of Fëanor, Maglor, Nerdanel, Celebrimbor Additional Tags: Valinor, Fourth Age, after the end, Gandalf and his strategic hobbit deployment, Third Theme, There and Back Again Again, Very Long Conversations, Backpacking in the Blessed Realm, Long-Overdue Punches, Westron as a Second Language, Sassing cosmic superbeings, Life-Changing Road Trip with Feanor, Kierkegaardian Existentialism, Reconciliation, Halls of Mandos, Potato Diplomacy, Everyone Telling Stories, Arda Remade Series: Part 5 of The Splintered Light Summary: “My dear Mr. Baggins, you cannot possibly imagine I have brought you across the boundaries of the sundered world, bending every law of gods and men, over land and over sea and through the fathomless heights, for your health? Well, I did, of course I did, and I’d do it again. But it was not for your own good only that I brought you here. I have been on this world a very long time, Mr. Baggins, and if there is one thing that I have learned about the Wise and the Great, it’s that they benefit from the company of hobbits, and it’s the wisest and greatest who have most need of them.”

Star Trek

A Better World (17671 words) by weakinteraction Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Benjamin Maxwell/Alynna Nechayev Characters: Alynna Nechayev, Benjamin Maxwell, Edward Jellico, Ro Laren, Odo (Star Trek) Additional Tags: guest appearances from various other 24th-century Trek characters, Time Travel Fix-It Summary: Alynna Nechayev does not give up easily, in any timeline.

Laid Bare (37013 words) by sixbeforelunch Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: William Riker & Deanna Troi, Taurik/Original Female Character(s) Characters: Deanna Troi, William Riker, Beverly Crusher, Taurik (Star Trek), Original *Characters Additional Tags: Psychology, Mental Health Issues, Eating Disorders, Domestic Violence, Anxiety Attacks, Aliens, First Contact, child endangerment, Pregnancy, Telepathy, Vulcan Culture Summary: Deanna Troi unravels a psychological mystery.

Lewis (TV)

A Place I May Go Both In and Out Of (49458 words) by kvikindi Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James Hathaway & Robert Lewis, James Hathaway & Nell Hathaway, Robert Lewis & Nell Hathaway, Laura Hobson/Robert Lewis Characters: James Hathaway, Robert Lewis, Laura Hobson, Nell Hathaway, Lizzie Maddox, Lyn Lewis, Lyn Lewis's Son, Hathaway's Band Additional Tags: Catholicism, Found Families, discussion of suicide, Allusions to abuse, Giftedness, Gun Violence, Physical Trauma, Recovery, Urban Foxes, Post-Canon, Dysfunctional Family, Happy Ending, Christmas Summary: Lewis thought it was amazing, in retrospect, that no one had ever shot Hathaway before.

Big Hero 6/The Martian

Big Hero Martian (42621 words) by althor42 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Hiro Hamada, Baymax (Marvel), Cass Hamada, Mark Watney, Annie Montrose, Gogo Tomago, Wasabi-No Ginger, Fred | Fredzilla, Melissa Lewis (The Martian), Alex Vogel, Chris Beck, Beth Johanssen, Rick Martinez (The Martian), Teddy Sanders Additional Tags: hiro goes on a rescue mission, so it's on mars, small details, just build a ship, nbd Summary: There would have been no rescue for Mark, if NASA had not noticed he was still alive. Unless of course, a certain Big Hero noticed instead.

Temeraire/Pride and Prejudice

A Monstrous Regiment (94904 words) by AMarguerite Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Characters: Elizabeth Bennet, Colonel Fitzwilliam (Pride and Prejudice), Arthur Wellesley 1st Duke of Wellington, Jane Roland, Jane Fairfax, Frederick Wentworth, Fitzwilliam Darcy, George Wickham, Georgiana Darcy, Charlotte Lucas, William Price, Excidium, Gherni, Arkady (Temeraire), Perscitia, Captain Harville (Persuasion) Additional Tags: badass Elizabeth Bennet, Napoleonic Wars, Dragon Riders, Regency, Battle, War, Feminist Themes, Colonel Fitzwilliam has some period-appropriate Opinions that get overturned, so be forewarned, he's a good dude though, he learns, Age of Sail, alternate title: Charlotte's Great Escape Series: Part 1 of A Monstrous Regiment Summary: General Wellington selects Colonel Fitzwilliam for a very singular honor during the Spanish Campaign: working with dragons-- and, in particular, with Captain Elizabeth Bennet, of His Majesty's Dragon, the Longwing Wollstonecraft.

Temeraire/ Pride and Prejudice crossover entirely to have Elizabeth Bennet as a dragon captain during the Peninsular War, with Charlotte Lucas as her uber-capable first lieutenant.

Pride and Prejudice

An Ever-Fixed Mark (190537 words) by AMarguerite Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet/Colonel Fitzwilliam, Jane Bennet/Charles Bingley Characters: Elizabeth Bennet, Fitzwilliam Darcy, Colonel Fitzwilliam (Pride and Prejudice), Georgiana Darcy, Catherine de Bourgh, Anne de Bourgh, Charlotte Lucas, William Collins (Pride and Prejudice), Maria Lucas, Jane Bennet, Charles Bingley, Mr. Bennet, Mrs. Bennet, Lydia Bennet, Kitty Bennet, George Wickham, Duke of Wellington, Mary Crawford, Mary Bennet, Caroline Bingley, William Elliot (Persuasion), Colonel Brandon (Sense and Sensibility), Marianne Dashwood, Eliza (Sense and Sensibility), Henry Tilney, Catherine Morland, Frederick Wentworth, Anne Elliot, Elizabeth Elliot, Arthur Wellesley Additional Tags: Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Comedy, Deconstruction, Napoleonic Wars, Regency, Regency Romance, Pining, badass Elizabeth Bennet, Miscarriage, 19th Century Medicine, Battle Of Waterloo, battlefield descriptions, Mention of Surgery, medicine sure was fun before germ theory, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Sexism, Elizabeth Bennet/ Mud, is the true OTP, Feminist Themes, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Grief/Mourning, Slow Burn, Reaaaally slow burn, Burn so slow it takes like six chapters to defrost first, Biphobia Series: Part 1 of An Ever-Fixed Mark Summary: One would think that having the name of one's soulmate appear on one's wrist on one's sixteenth birthday would make matrimony much less complicated. It mostly does not. And not at all for Miss Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourne.

(A deconstruction of the "soulmate identifying mark" trope, using "Pride and Prejudice." Trigger warnings in the tags.)

Teen Wolf

Wolf Moon (93757 words) by pocketmumbles Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Derek Hale/Scott McCall Characters: Scott McCall, Derek Hale Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Minor Character Death, Fix-It Series: Part 1 of Wolf Moon 'verse Summary: On the night of 2013’s Wolf Moon, eighteen-year-old Scott McCall travels back in time to change Derek’s past and, hopefully, their future.

The morning after 2003’s Wolf Moon, fifteen-year-old Derek Hale wakes up after meeting a teen wolf named Scott. And then the story really begins.

(Or, the time travel story that isn’t about the time travel at all, but rather a complete rewriting of canon spanning fifteen years and every character along the way. Canon divergent/AU after Season 3B.)

Harry Potter

Swung by Serafim (352345 words) by flamethrower Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Arthur Weasley/Molly Weasley, Andromeda Black Tonks/Ted Tonks, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter Characters: Harry Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Dobby, Kreacher (Harry Potter), Minerva McGonagall, Filius Flitwick, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Molly Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Bill Weasley, Nymphadora Tonks, Neville Longbottom, Ginny Weasley, Fleur Delacour, Percy Weasley, Viktor Krum, Luna Lovegood, Rubeus Hagrid, Pomona Sprout, Lily Evans Potter, James Potter, OFC, OMC Additional Tags: I am not listing the entire cast of the HP universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Chamber of Secrets, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, there is a tag for it yay!, also not listing relationships, Too confusing, Discussion of Past Child Abuse, The World Is Not Black And White, GFY, Don't copy to another site, seriously if those two actually were together at the end of this fic it would be in the tags okay?, and I don't tag the other relationships because they're spoilers, but before I get yelled at AGAIN, this isn't Snarry fic okay?, it has potential to become that if you squint, but I am not tagging for a romantic relationship that isn't there! Series: Part 1 of Swung by Serafim Summary: In 1993, Gilderoy Lockhart points a stolen wand at Harry Potter and Ron Weasley with the intent to Obliviate them.

The wand doesn't backfire. Gilderoy's "discovery" of the Chamber of Secrets is a short-term success.

Other consequences are not short-term at all.

Blood Magic (334522 words) by GatewayGirl Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hermione Granger/Harry Potter, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Remus Lupin, Ron Weasley Additional Tags: Severitus, Dark Arts, Secrets Series: Part 1 of Blood Summary: Blood magic was supposed to keep Harry safe, but his relatives are expendable. Blood magic was supposed to keep Harry looking like his adoptive father, but it's wearing off. Blood is a bond, but so is the memory of hate -- or love.

pick it up, pick it all up and start again (69328 words) by Annerb Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley Characters: Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Bill Weasley, Fleur Delacour, Percy Weasley, Original Male Character(s), Original Female Character(s), Molly Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Charlie Weasley, George Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Hannah Abbott Additional Tags: mostly canon ships, Sequel, Angst, Recovery, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Drama, Slytherin Ginny Weasley, Post-War, Canon Era, Not Epilogue Compliant, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD Series: Part 1 of Armistice Series Summary: The thing about war is that it never ends. Not really. The battlefields just change locations. Harry and Ginny after the war. (Sequel to The Changeling)

Valdemar

Enemy, It's Cold Outside (5121 words) by MueraRashaye Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Original Male Herald, Original Male Sunpriest Additional Tags: Friendship across borders, Canon Compliant, War with Ancar, Tasteless jokes about Fires, Some timeline shifting Series: Part 1 of Friends Across Borders Summary: Inns in Hardorn border towns are neutral grounds, so long as the Sunsguard don't see the Herald and the Valdemarans don't see the priests. Usually this works fine, but one evening found Valdemarans with a Herald and Sunsguard with a priest at the same inn. Two groups of guards signal their outliers, and their outliers reluctantly retreat to the stables for a frigid night.

Turns out, it's too cold to kill ancient enemies. Much easier to swap drinks and tales under a night-long truce, figuring nothing will change in the morning.

And it doesn't. Not yet. But, it just might.

The Goblin Emperor

A Complete Education (57380 words) by bomberqueen17 Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Csethiro Ceredin/Maia Drazhar Characters: Csethiro Ceredin, Maia Drazhar, Cala Athmaza, Kiru Athmaza, Deret Beshelar, Telimezh (The Goblin Emperor) Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Canon Continuation, Sexual Education, Household Politics, The Emperor's Dav, Past Abuse, Misunderstandings, the fantasy of a world where everybody has good intentions Series: Part 1 of Continuing Education Summary: Preparing for the Emperor's wedding, everyone has some things they need to learn about.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.