#like bro if I'm making you that upset just block me and move on?

[alllgator-blood]

okkk wait this is the anon that sent an ask about autistic narinder and leshy hc 😅 i retract my statement they're all autistic 🤯🤯🤯🤯

I WAS LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF ANSWERING THAT ASK TO SAY "I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE ALL AUTISTIC" BEFORE THIS ONE GOT SENT IN, I was two sentences in so your comedic timing was impeccable actually

I know there's like no evidence in-game to back my claims so this is purely a vibe check (and also me being unable to write for neurotypical characters) but yeah no I 100% feel like all the bishops have autism for some reason. They definitely express it in different ways and I was actually thinking about that in the car ride back home tonight??

SEMI-DETAILED HC EXPLANATIONS BELOW THE CUT

For leshy, I feel like since he's the youngest...when he came along, everyone was like "yep. We don't even need to get this one tested" after seeing him in his natural element. Which sounds cruel but that's just personal experience after people in my family started getting diagnosed and we started noticing things about each other better LMAO. I kinda actually designed my iteration of him to be like a big stim toy, I did that shitpost sketch in the last post but even the first time I drew him I was like "this dude is made out of orbs that make satisfying noises when they click together", so if I had to categorize the way his neurodivergency manifests, it's definitely "I NEED TO MOVE AROUND!! RIGHT FUCKING NOW!! MAYBE SCREAM A LITTLE IDK IT JUST FEELS RIGHT!!"

Heket is for sure the one that fights the most against people labelling her with it, just because she's like I'M SO NORMAL GUYS. LOOK HOW NORMAL I AM. LOOK HOW WELL I CAN ADAPT TO CHANGE AND LOOK AT ME NOT FREAK OUT AT ALL WHEN I'M OUT OF MY ELEMENT!! She's the new leader of the family so she does her best to hold it together but if you make plans with her, she's gonna be in Waiting Mode as soon as the plans are made and might tear you limb from limb if you flake or reschedule. Something my therapist told me recently is that me getting absurdly upset over injustices (small or big) is likely directly related to being autistic, so if heket feels like something is wrong she will absolutely be vocal about it. If someone says something mean to her, they are her fucking arch nemesis from that point on. The block button is NOT enough she wants them DEAD

For narinder, I feel like he maybe bonded a lot with shamura over the fact both of them feel pretty disconnected from everyone else? The way his autism manifests is probably the feeling that he's on a completely different wavelength than everyone else, and can't experience empathy the same way his siblings can. He'll like have conversations with people but it feels like someone just talking at him, and him having to mentally choose the dialogue options that make the conversation end the quickest. He probably feels like a completely separate species from everyone else on more levels than just "I am a cat and you are not". I know this doesn't line up with my narinder art so far but I have a distinct characterization of him pre-schism that's completely different from post-schism. I feel like he also resented the other siblings for having the same condition as him but presenting so differently, he felt like he got the short end of the stick.

Kallamar........is a FREAk ABOUT TEXTURES. Bro will actually throw up if he has to eat or touch something gross. He would probably excuse himself to go hurl if he sees leshy combining everything on his plate and shovelling it into his face. I'M actually about to hurl just thinking about it. I have to have lotion on at all times or I freak out when I touch things with my hands, and I feel like kallamar needs to have that famous Cephalopod Mucus Layer in order to exist in his body without wanting to implode. Maybe even a special oil he formulates himself? I also feel like he probably has the most freakouts and has been left crying inconsolably + hyperventilating on the floor over something seemingly stupid MANY times, but shamura is understanding enough to be patient with him and not try to grab him or repeat phrases at him over and over.

LASTLY, SHAMURA DOESN'T THINK THEY HAVE AUTISM. They're like "I love my Neurodivergent Family :) can't relate tho" but all the siblings have unanimously agreed they have something going on up there, even before the TBI. I think they're very book smart, and have little file cabinets of their brain of stuff like "arthropod husbandry" and "dreamcatcher making techniques" but are totally clueless to how other people operate. They don't really know *why* people do the things they do; in my prequel AU thing, they gain most of their social knowledge through people watching rather than like...being normal and just knowing how to behave. Out of all the siblings, they've probably been told the classic phrase "but you don't look autistic!" the most LMAO

Also shamura 100000% has misophonia and that's the reason I didn't have them sitting at the table with the other siblings in the voidpunk comic I did of them. They love their family to death but they have to make the conscious decision to not shake baby leshy every time he loudly chokes down his dinner, so they just sit out meals and eat on their own time. If shamura was real I would build them a shrine and sacrifice my noise cancelling headphones cause idk if they have sound reduction methods in cotl world <3

I know autism kinda encompasses ALL of these traits and isn't something that can be categorized into "this one hates noises, this one needs to follow a schedule..." but I also don't want to just point at one bishop and go "YOU. YOU WILL BE MY VESSEL" because I'd never get to write all that I have in mind if only one character had it. There's definitely overlaps in symptoms between them but I just wrote down what I felt would be the most notable to that specific character. I've been wanting to do a comic about their special interests or the times they just like sync up and have a brain blast jimmy neutron moment, cause usually they're all over the place. I have literally never said the word "autism" so many times in my life I think I gotta cut it here, THIS IS SO LONG. I REALLY DID WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS THOUGH SO THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK GENUINELY. IDK IF YOU EXPECTED A SMALL ESSAY ON THIS BUT I WROTE ONE ANYWAY

[sturniololuv08]

The Background Brother (Matt fluff)

Song: I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

Tumblr: @MattsFavoriteGirl

"It is your last night here honey. Enjoy the beach, go out to eat.  Do something." My mother pushed. We were on summer break in LA. The truth was I just wanted to go back home. Boston might not be everyone's ideal place to call home but for me it was perfect. LA was cool to visit but after a few days I felt like I had seen all it had to offer.

"Hey mom," my brother came into the kitchen, "Chris said there is a party on the beach tonight. Can I go?" He didn't have to beg to get his way.

"Yes, but you have to take your sister."

"What!?" We yelled in unison. We both were upset but for different reasons.

"Just go. Have fun tonight. Jax, watch over her." She looked between the both of us and I knew I wasn't getting out of it. Jaxon would make sure of it. I sighed and got off the bar stool I was stuck on.

"Better get ready, Em." He ran to get ready for the party that was happening soon. One thing about LA, there was always a party happening somewhere.

"Fuck." I mumbled pissed I got roped into this. I went to my designated room in our rental house and rummaged through my suitcases looking for something better than sweatpants to wear. I figured I should wear something a little relaxed since it was on the beach. I settled for a tiny pair of white shorts and my bathing suit top in case I found myself wanting to swim. Not likely though. I grabbed a book I had been trying to read all summer but kept finding myself having to put it down because my mother or brother wanted to go do something. This whole summer was spent doing whatever they wanted and going where they went. Still, I hated sounding ungrateful for a cool summer in LA so I played my part. I was ready to go at the same time Jaxon was. He wore above-the-knee swim trunks with pink flamingos cast over a slate navy blue fabric. He was tall, already very tan, and since he had the time here he managed to work out and get even more fit than before. He looked like a total douchebag.

"Please, be safe." Mom hugged him. "And you little lady, try to have fun." She knew I wouldn't. She hugged me and I shrugged out of it in protest of being forced to go out on my last day here. It was 5:45 pm so the sun would be setting soon. Seeing the sunset over the beach water one last time wouldn't be so awful. I was trying to convince myself. We started walking down the sand-scattered road. We were only a few blocks away from our rental. The music was already blaring Despacito louder than it should be. The chatter from everyone trying to have conversations was even louder. This party was huge; bigger than all the other ones we went to over the summer.

"Jax!" We had barely made it on the sand before Jaxon was spotted by some new LA friends he made this summer. Jaxon was the only person I knew who had a personality that could not only match but almost outshine these other boys. For starters, there were three of them, identical triplets. Though they all looked the same they were far from it. Chris, the one Jaxon met first, was goofy and athletic. Nick always kept Jaxon laughing but he was always able to throw it right back at Nick. And then there was Matt, the quiet reserved one. He would laugh at jokes but wouldn't make many. He would follow the other two around and just hang out but never really brought any charisma to the table. Matt was the complete opposite of my brother.

"This is insane." He bro hugged Chris.

"LA does it big every time." Chris stuck his tongue out as if he was the reason this party was so popular. He very well could have been. As they all talked and figured out their next move I was looking around for my escape. Several bonfires were going on with various activities and groups around them. One group was cooking food, another just talking, and even a group with some tiny guitars and ukuleles going. If I wasn't so ready to go home and see my friends this would actually have been a really fun last night here. I went over to a bonfire I saw people leaving behind. The drinks were being poured between two mini tiki bars. I sat down and opened my book on top of my knees. The sun was going down and it was beautiful to peek at every once in a while when my eyes wanted to see something other than black letters. I took in a big whiff of the salty air.

"You okay?" I opened my eyes and saw one of the identical brothers in front of me.

"Yeah. Not in a party mood." I was honest.

"Mind if I sit?" He looked at the empty room next to me on the large log and I nodded. I slowly folded my book closed with my finger still holding my spot on the page. "What are you reading?" He looked so innocent. He must be Matt, the background brother.

"It's called Empire. It's about modern-day slavery." I was secretly hoping I would weird him out and he'd leave me alone but it failed.

"That sounds really cool." He smiled softly.

"Where are the other two?" I wasn't actually interested in them, more so the whereabouts of my rambunctious brother. His smile faded before he answered.

"Chris and Nick wanted to join a game of volleyball that was going on." I had the realization that all of them ditched him.

"So you got ditched?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I don't mind. It gives me the chance to talk to you." He perked up a little.

"Me?" I was confused as to why he would suddenly want to talk to me. All summer long these three boys have been hanging around Jaxon and not once did any of them seem to be interested in his little sister. I was stuck observing them from the outside.

"I know tonight is your last night in LA but I was thinking before you go I could get your number." He wasn't looking at me. I assumed he was afraid of rejection. I looked over at the sand courts just in time to see Chris and Jax chest bump after getting another point. I shook my head annoyed. Jaxon was so outgoing and fun and I was just a blob when I was in too big of a group. "Jax mentioned you guys are from Boston. We live there too. It's complicated but we go back and forth and I was just thinking if I got your number maybe we could meet up again when we are in the same city." He started over explaining why he was asking.

"Yeah?" I was skeptical. It wouldn't be unlike Jaxon to set up a prank on me just for a laugh.

"Yeah." I examined his face to get the truth. His stubble was creating a defining shadow around his jawline. His eyes looked tired with dark circles underneath. His pale blue eyes were telling the truth. It was then all the dots connected, he liked me.

"Yeah," I said more confident.

"Sick." He whispered. I giggled a little because it was kind of funny at how excited he was to get the answer he wanted. "Here." He handed me his sleek iPhone open to the add contact page. I filled it out and handed it back.

"Matt." We both looked over to see Nick calling him. Matt just waved awkwardly. I saw Nick's entire demeanor change when he pieced together the puzzle in front of him. He pointed to Matt and then me. He repeated this action a few times and then smirked and stopped trying to get Matt's attention.

"Sorry about... that." He sighed embarrassed.

"So how long?" I asked him.

"How long what?" He looked at me confused.

"How long have you been wanting to get my number?" I was genuinely curious. I couldn't say I liked him as long as he had me but I had eyes for him a while ago. It was no secret that they were all very attractive but I personally go with personality over looks. Nick was more my initial type but I quickly learned I was not his. Matt started fidgeting. My forwardness was making him nervous.

"Since our families all made the trip to Disneyland." My eyes widened a little. That trip was within the first week of our time here. He has felt this way for a few months!

"Really?" I couldn't believe he held his feelings in for that long. I was only holding onto mine for about two weeks. But I figured we would go back to Boston and they would die quickly. He would just become a summer love that never happened.

"I wanted to say something sooner but I just wasn't sure how you felt and I didn't want to make the whole summer weird." He had a valid point in hiding his feelings. What he didn't know is that over the past few weeks to me, he was never the background brother. Although Chris was the one being goofy I was watching Matt smile. Nick was the one making jokes but I was listening for Matt's laugh. And if my brother ever came up with an activity to do I was waiting to see if Matt wanted to do it or not to decide if I was going along.

"You wouldn't have," I assured him. Some random people started hooting and hollering around us and Matt grabbed my hand.

"You wanna go somewhere more quiet?" He asked me.

"Sure." I fully closed my book and lost my spot. I knew I wanted to get lost with Matt more. He tugged on the hand he had a grip on and I followed him through the crowd of people. We broke through the bubble of people and ended up where it was quieter and a lot darker. There weren't any bonfires to light up our way. Without the fires regulating the air's temperature, the water-cooled it down. He finally stopped walking us along the shore and turned to face me. I looked up at him. His eyes were twinkling slightly, almost as if he had thought of this moment before it started happening.

"Em will you dance with me?" He asked holding me close to him already. I nodded and dropped my book. We could still hear the drowning music but slightly muffled by the perfect bubble we were creating for ourselves. He let go of my hand and gently slipped his fingers around my waist. I flinched a little from the cold. "Oh my gosh, you must be freezing." He realized I was only wearing a swimsuit top to cover my breasts. "Here." He let go of me. Even though his long skinny fingers were giving me the shivers I still wanted them back on my skin creating the feeling of fire. Everything went black until my head popped out of his hoodie.

"I'm fine." It was too late to protest. I was engulfed with the smell of an Earthy cologne. I no longer wanted to protest. He put us back into our dance positions and started swaying me. "So what now?" I asked him.

"Now this." He leaned in and pressed our lips together. The feelings for my summer love were no longer dying after a week. I stood up on my tippy toes to press back onto him. My pushback surprised him because he smiled out of our first kiss. "I'm going to have to go back to Boston soon." He chuckled. I nodded in a trance.

"Matt?" I finally spoke up.

"Yeah, Em?" We were still swaying slowly to the sound of the waves crashing.

"Can I be yours?" It was very fast of me to ask but after feeling his lips the idea of someone else calling him theirs actually bothered me. I also had some false confidence because we weren't around everyone. Just him and I felt comfortable.

"Em, I'm already yours." He lifted one corner of his mouth while looking at me. My heart started to beat a lot faster and I was starting to get hot under his hoodie. My body heat only baked his smell and made it more intoxicating. And just like that I didn't want to leave LA anymore.

[kkatastrophic]

RAMBLE TIME YAY!!!

Bro I genuinely give up on reasoning with my parents at this point, especially my mum. I don't need phone time, and we've had it for two years and it isn't working, you get mad at me every time I "break a rule" but it's just finding loopholes because I'm done with this shit. Like I don't want to talk about my phone usage at the moment, I don't care what limits you give me because at the end of the day if I use an app for more than 20 minutes a day you're putting on a limit. Just because I don't want to talk about it right now doesn't give you the right to put settings on all of my apps and lock my phone as soon as you're not happy with how I reply.

I don't care about it. I don't actually fucking care about the limits, I could not care less. I know I'll find loopholes anyway, like I always do. I have three different ways to get onto tumblr even if you block it on my phone, excluding my laptop. I can just use google and go on the web version of most apps, and if you block or time limit google I can just use the internet app to browser search for it. Block that too? I have the password.

My mum says that she's tired of "micro managing" me but she gives me no freedom, and any room to move that she gives me is overshadowed by "I don't trust you enough to let you do that".

It's so difficult trying to reason with parents, especially a TEACHER parent, who thinks that just because she's in the education industry, that she knows best and is automatically correct in any assumptions she makes.

I honestly hate it.

She locked my phone for no reason just now, because I didn't want to TALK about my phonetime while I was doing something else! I ask her to talk about loosening the restrictions and rules and she says "after this, after this, no I don't feel like it." but she's not giving me a chance to do the same?

And don't get me started on when she thinks I'm FAKING my WORRIES because of the INTERNET! I came to her super worried and upset because she's my mum, parents know everything they just have to always be there and usually they are. And I told her I was worried something was wrong with me, and she doesn't reassure me and say "no this is normal blah blah blah" she tells me I go through phases of reading something online and then "developing symptoms" and faking it.

Like I was 11 the last time I did something like that, and I regret it so much I actually cry every time I think about it, second-hand embarassment exists don't be stupid as a kid.

And like... then she follows up with "if you want to see a therapist we can book you in for one" ... now that you tell me you think I'm faking you want me to make you "waste money" on a therapist. You said my problems are non-existent and put me through this spiral of denial and confusion just to tell me "oh by the way, if they're not then we can see somebody about this issue! :D"

I don't WANT to anymore.

Like literally yesterday I waited for 30 minutes for food and was too scared to ask if they were preparing it. (AT A BBQ GUYS, A FRICKING BBQ!) LIKE I ALMOST CRIED WHILE ASKING?? And I'm legitimately the most extroverted person on the planet.

I've been taking mild stress medication every day before school, and I've been taking tablets to sleep every now and then. BECAUSE I BELIEVE SOMETHING MAY BE WRONG WITH ME!!! And if you can't support me when I THINK that, then how are you going to go if something really does happen?!

Idk bro maybe I'm overthinking all of this but I just can't anymore with this.

[mr-crawlings-wife]

MINORS DNI 🔞🔞

This game is very much.... Uh... Steamy. At least 16+ for sure.

Anyway there is this new otome game out and it's called ✨What In HELL Is Bad✨

And I've had it on pre order (is that what you call it?) But didn't have the time to really open it up and explore the insides.

So let's do this together. Hopefully I can find it in myself to make fanfic on this cause I've been on the block for months.

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

That is an extraordinarily distinct shape each of these countries have. That's quite fun. :D

So little information that I got after clicking on them,

𝑨𝒃𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒐𝒏: This is a region that Asmodeus rules. It's a place where lewd and inappropriate things are quite the norm and you can see people doing the forbidden tango in a Walmart parking lot apparently. Just very normal you see? This is also the place where lunatic devils gather apparently. So... Psych ward here is top notch I guess.

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕: This place is hell but not really (not sure what that means) and is ruled over by Lucifer but he isn't the king. Not really. He's more of... A person who just controls things... Dictator?? The description had a lot of yes but nos. And devils who gather here are apparently very hurt... Wounded. Emotionally maybe? Maybe this place has great therapy centers.

𝑵𝒊𝒇𝒍𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒎: This place is very military oriented and very much like a power house which is a surprise considering this place is ruled over by Belphegor, who btw is the demon of sloth. People of this place don't go anywhere alone and always move in groups (hopefully that's different when going to the bathroom) and they have great military power and a lot of the population is very physically stronge and... Solid.

𝑨𝒃𝒚𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒔: The most chill and fun place apparently. Full of casinos and entertainment shit. Didn't find this place too interesting. Apparently the people here get piercings from Beelzebub (the ruler here) to prove that they are a citizen? Which is kinda random but seems like a fun tradition, I would like to know the history behind that. And Beelzebub is apparently never around. Feels like bro doesn't wanna pay child support.

𝑮𝒆𝒉𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒂: Ruled by Satan. People here have a bicker gang type of aesthetic and they're the most kindeat demons you could encounter in hell but they do have a horrible temper and anger issues. Also this place is famous for having great sceneries. Which is great :)

𝑻𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒔: This place is by far the most advanced in terms of science and technology. And is also the richest country. (Like the country literally looks like a slab of gold, what did you expect?) And this place is ruled over by, you guessed it, Mammon! This place has the highest level of freedom and the people here trust Mammon a lot.

𝑯𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒔: Now... This place honestly sounded lowkey like a cult. Cause killing yourself to prove loyalty is pretty.. Um hardcore. Also this place is the most scary and terrifying place in hell.

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

When I hit that side of my screen, the one that has my front camera, is makes this bouing bouing sound. I'm not bothered by it but I'm intrigued for why that is happening. Is there a chance there are gonna be other countries on the other ends?

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

Ok that's very nice of them. To include both genders but it would've been even more great if they included a non binary option. Just a little more inclusivity for people who are non binary to feel more comfortable when playing. But again, this much of an option is a great improvement too, cause it's rare to see something like this, at least for me as most have she/her and the mcs tend to be female by default. (Unlike in Obey me)

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

I promise I chose the most non inappropriate options. And I'm not upset with this result. I've always liked the design of his eyes. I'll confirm though that their description of me couldn't be further from the truth.

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

Thank you for reading this :)

I hope you enjoyed it!

[cbsghostsmetasandtrevor]

Not A Dog, Bro!

AO3

When Jeremy comes to visit, Trevor's desperate to keep him around and the episode ends a bit differently.

***

“You can’t just kick him out, Sam.  Can’t he stay for a little while?” Trevor nearly pleads as they stand in the library where Sam, Jay, Hetty and Isaac are trying to figure out a way to get his brother to leave because he found a loophole with the points system.  

“Trevor, we can’t have a freeloader living here for a year without us making any money.  He’ll bleed us dry, and we don’t have the funds to keep us afloat,” Sam states.

“Come on, Sam, between the Ari blackmail, telling you about David and Kelsey, and earning you almost two hundred grand with Isaac’s money, can’t you just let him stay for me, please,” Trevor asks, attempting to give her his best puppy dog eyes.

“You have made us a lot of money, true,” Sam admits, “But he can’t stay for a year, Trevor.”

Okay, that’s fair.  “Okay, but you don’t have to kick him out today, right?  We can keep him for a month.”

“Not when we don’t have any other guests lined up for a while because of Carol’s death.”

Trevor used to be better at negotiations, but not when he’s at the disadvantage of not being alive.  “We can afford to keep him for a week, right?”

“You make him sound like a puppy,” Sam states before taking a breath.  “Fine, we can keep him for a week.”

“Yes!” Trevor yells, excitedly, doing his little T-Money thing as well.  

He turns to leave and ignores Jay’s complaining about having a freeloader in their house for a week and still having to figure out how to get him to leave once the week is over because he’s got his brother for at least a week.

***

Trevor’s annoyed.  It took all of a day before Sam went back on their deal about allowing Jeremy to stay for the week.  Which results in Jay challenging Jeremy to a video game matchup that Jeremy should have no problem winning, but somehow is losing.  

It’s right near the middle of the game when Jeremy asks, “How am I losing?  This makes no sense.”  He shakes his head.  “Whatever.  There's still time.  Let's see how you like this.”

Somehow, Jay manages to block the play, again, causing both of them to yell, “Come on!”

Jeremy continues to say, “There's six plays. You pick mine every time.”

“I guess you're just really predictable,” Jay offers.  

Jeremy’s shaking his head.  “That's impossible.  No one can guess right that many times.”

He’s right and that has Trevor looking around.  “That is impossible.  What's going on?”  He looks from Hetty, who’s standing behind them to Sam, who passes on the play number to Jay.   He stands up and stares at Hetty as he asks, “What the hell?  Are you cheating?” “No.  I swear.  I was just picking my nose,” Hetty denies, despite knowing she would never do that.

He scoffs, upset that she would do this to him even though they broke up.  “I don't even think we have boogers. This stops now.”  He covers Jeremy’s controller with his hands so that Hetty can’t see the play.  “Good luck cheating now, cheaters.”

Jeremy’s waiting for Jay to pick a play, but he’s definitely not able to cheat now. 

“Hey.  You gonna pick a play?” Jeremy asks Jay.

“Yes, I am. I'm just... thinking.”

“Trevor, you stop this at once,” Hetty states, firmly, expecting him to cave.  

Not this time.

“You can't make me.”

“But I can,” Isaac says as if sounding like he has any power over Trevor as he moves around Sam to face Trevor.  “Pachycephalosaurus charge!”

He runs at Trevor, who struggles not to laugh as he simply moves out of the way.  

Isaac seems surprised, and yells, “He moved?!!  Not fair!” as he falls through the wall!

Trevor grins, ‘cause he wins.  He looks from Hetty to Sam, “No more cheating.”

Jay’s frowning as Sam lets him in on it, quietly.  “Oh, it’s just me now…”

“What?” Jeremy asks.

“Nothing.”

***

The game continues, fairly now, and Trevor’s surprised that Hetty’s really getting into it.

“Oh, my God, this is tense.  Jay is up two points with one minute to go!”

“Is this more exciting than watching walking?” Trevor teases.  

“It is debatable.”

“You know, I got to say, you gave me a pretty good scare there, Jay,” Jeremy offers because he’s at the point where he knows he’s going to win.

“It's not over,” Jay counters.

“Isn't it?  All I got to do is get in field goal position, where I am automatic.”

Trevor grins, excitedly.  “My little brother's about to wipe your butt.  That's right, I'm sticking with it.  I'm making it a thing.”

“You know, there was a minute there where I thought I was actually gonna have to take over my dad's company, but now I can just keep living here,” Jeremy says with glee.

Trevor frowns since Jay never followed up with the ‘fired’ thing, he’s got no idea what’s going on.  “Wait, what?  Sam, what's he talking about?”

“I thought you said you were fired?” Sam questions.

“Yeah.  For refusing to take over his company.  I think Lenny was just trying to motivate me or something.”  

“I don't understand,” Trevor states because none of this is making sense.  “Why wouldn't you want to take over the company?”

“You don't love the lighting business?” Sam asks, trying to act curious so that he can get answers.  At least it’s less obvious that it’s for a ghost.

“Oh, no.  I freaking love lights.  When you find that perfect grouping and fill a room with that magical glow, it's a godlike feeling.”

“So, then what's the problem?”

“Because my dad's just doing it to be nice.  I'm not cut out to run anything.  Trevor was the one with the head for business.  I'd probably just screw it up,” Jeremy states, plainly. 

Trevor feels a wave of sympathy for his kid brother.  He knows that he always looked up to Trevor, but he never thought that Trevor’s abilities with business would make Jeremy feel… inadequate.  Even if he did know that their dad expected to hand the business over to Trevor since he was the oldest.  

“No, you wouldn't.  You're a smart kid.  You learned your haftarah in, like, a week.”

He wishes that Jeremy could actually hear him, see him, know that Trevor believes in him.  

The moment is interrupted by Isaac storming into the room.

“That was an exterior wall.  I fell two stories.  I mean, I know we can't get hurt, but why didn't anyone come looking for me?” he pants.  “What'd I miss?”

Clearly deciding that he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore since there’s no forthcoming support from Sam or Jay, Jeremy says, “All right, ten seconds to go.  Time to kick this field goal and end it.”

Trevor, though, can’t let his brother continuing hiding here when he would be a great business owner.  So, he needs to help Jay win (even if Jay hurts him).  

“No.  It's time for you to grow up, little brother,” Trevor states, even though he can’t hear him.  Then, groaning, he licks his finger and gives his brother a wet willy just in time. 

“No!” Jeremy yells.

“I won!” Jay yells.  

There’s cheering from Hetty and Sam, while Isaac yells, “Huzzah!”

Jeremy is shaking his head.  “What the hell just happened?”

“Your big brother just shoved you out of the nest,” Trevor states.  Then he does a little small T-money sign.  “T-Money.”

Sam’s grinning at him.  “Nice work, Trevor.” 

Everyone looks at her and she tries to cover, “Is what I would say if Jay's name were Trevor, which is a name that we've discussed a lot this weekend, hence the mix-up.”

Jeremy’s shaking his head.  “No, no, I don’t believe it.  Trevor’s here, isn’t he?  And you can see him, can’t you?”

Trevor’s looking at Sam, confused and uncertain about what she’s going to do in this situation. 

“I – why – why would you think that?”

“Well, for one, you’ve talked about Trevor a lot – you literally just said ‘nice work, Trevor’ a minute ago.  For another, you’re always looking at areas where there’s no one, but as if someone spoke to you, like earlier when you looked above you when Jay and I were plotting our game.  At that same time, there was a dinosaur book that was on the front desk facing away from you and yet, you were pulling the parts of it and flipping the pages.  And of course, the wet willy I just got which makes no sense unless it was Trevor, the way you didn’t immediately deny it and… should I get into the strange things that happened last year?”

Throughout his entirety of laying it all out there, Trevor’s gotten more impressed with Jeremy and Sam’s looking more and more caught and appalled.  

“Just say, yes, Sam,” Trevor states.  “It’s obvious.  Please say yes so that I can talk to him.”

Sam shakes her head and says, “Yes, you – you are absolutely right.”

“I KNEW it!  I mean – I didn’t exactly know because I didn’t really believe in ghosts, but my parents were talking about how Trevor thought the divorce was his fault and how weird it was at the end there, and – yeah, anyway – so ghosts are real – and Trevor’s here?”

Jeremy’s so excited and so’s Trevor, and Sam’s just like resigned.  “Yes, Trevor’s very much here.  Has been here all along.  And last year, we tried to get your parents back together because he was upset about the divorce and I said what I said because he was so sad… and anyway, he’s been very happy to have you here and really, really wanted you to stay – he kept asking if we could keep you –”

“What?  I’m not a dog, bro,” Jeremy says to Trevor.  Clearly, following Sam’s eyes to where Trevor’s standing.  

“I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.”

Sam rolls her eyes.  “Yeah, he didn’t mean it to come out that way, but it did.”

“Now that he knows, even though he’s going to leave – we can still keep him this week, right?” Trevor asks, giving his best puppy dog pleading look.  

“As long as you don’t put me in the middle of any butt or boobs conversation, we can keep him this week,” Sam says, relenting.

“But I won,” Jay mumbles, as Jeremy says, “Again, not a dog, bro.  And what’s going on?”

Trevor does his little T-Money thing as Sam explains, “Your brother kind of invested some money in the stock market and made us some money, that and the David thing and the Ari thing… he asked if you could stay for free this week and well, it’s… fair.  He’s probably made us the most money even though I really prefer if he’d stop getting into our accounts and doing things that could’ve gone poorly for us.”

Jeremy is staring at her uncertainly.  “I have so many questions.”

“Well, why don’t we sit down, and I’ll answer them.”

***

Eventually, Sam did tire of being the interpreter after explaining the long stories of what actually happened to Trevor, Sam’s fall, the Ari thing, the memorial, the David thing, and what had been going on so far.  Since Trevor has gotten better with his power, they gave him the iPad so that he and Jeremy could still chat without her.  

He tells him some of the ghosts’ stories and Jeremy fills him in on life without Trevor.  It’s both heartbreaking and heartwarming that Jeremy missed him as much as Trevor missed Jeremy.  But the important thing was that he could now talk to Jeremy whenever he wanted and now, he could tell him that he would be a fantastic leader of their dad’s company. 

I never wanted you to feel like you weren’t good enough, Jdog.  You were always great, and you’ll be amazing.  Dad wouldn’t give it to you just ‘cause I died.

Jeremy nods.  “I get that now.  I think I’ve always just been afraid.  You were a lot to live up to – even when you were gone.  I figured it was better not try.”

Every time I think about my death, I always thought I was dumb but at least it was just me that was affected – aside from you all losing me.  Figured you’d move on and be fine…

“Yeah, I mean – it was not knowing.  If we’d known all along – by the way, I’m totally going to go off on Ari now.  And you can’t stop me.  I always hated that guy.”

I would defend him, but Sass is glaring me at me for even thinking about it.  

Jeremy laughs and shakes his head.  “Nice to know you’re at least not alone here.  And yeah, he is the reason that we didn’t know you were officially dead for ages, so… yeah, I’m gonna go after him.  He was always an asshat anyway.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Anyway, at least, it’s not too late.

“Exactly.  It’s not too late.  Anyway, at least now we have answers.”

Yeah, you do.

***

The week flies by given all of the things that they have to catch up on, but as Jeremy packs his car, he promises, “Don’t worry, we’ll still talk, and I’ll come back and visit soon.”

Trevor smiles.  “Yeah, we will.  Sam promises to let me have access to the iPad.”

“I didn’t actually do that at all,” Sam states, and at Jeremy’s confused face says, “But I will promise now that you can have access to the iPad as long as you don’t try to cat-phish anyone.”

“I never technically tried to cat-phish, it just kind of happened…”

“You still tried to sleep with Bela as a ghost!”

“But she KNEW I was a ghost – so, again, not cat-phishing!  Besides, she liked me, too.”

“That’s not the point, Trevor!”

“You’re ruining a goodbye moment.”

She rolls her eyes and says, “Anyway.  Yeah, he’ll be able to chat with you and your parents and you’re welcome to come back as long as you intend to pay next time.”

Jeremy grins.  “I promise that I won’t pull any scams next time I visit, but since Trevor did save your business more than once, maybe you should a) consider asking for his advice because he’s pretty business savvy, and b) buy him an actual bed.”

Sam looks from him to Trevor. 

“I didn’t ask him to say that, I swear!”

“Uh-huh, I totally believe you.”  She turns back to Jeremy.  “You make a good point whether or not he put you up to saying that.  I’ll think about it.”

“Good, well,” he sighs.  “It’s time to go.”

“You’ll do great, Jdog.”

Sam repeats what he says, and Jeremy smiles.  “Thanks, Bro.  Talk soon.”

“Promise.  Goodbye baby bro!”

Jeremy laughs.  “Bye, bro.”

With that, he gets in the car and takes off.  Trevor knows that he can’t be seen, but he waves anyway, feeling a lot better than he did when his parents left last year.  At least he can talk to them now, that’s far better than most of the other ghosts.

It’s perfect ending to his brother’s visit.  

[lotusarchon]

Some of these anons need to chill. From the death threats to the “I tried giving you advice and you didn’t listen”

Like BRO—my brother in Christ, no one is obligated to take your advice. That makes you sound like some gaslighting narcissistic adult. It’s nice of you to help but they are not obligated to take whatever advice or sentiments you have. If you don’t like how some people choose to handle their problems, move on. Yes, some are bad but instead of misunderstanding and getting butthurt because OP didn’t listen to you at least try to get the context before opening your mouth. That makes you look hella toxic. Yall need to learn to respect boundaries holy heck.

NO CAUSE LIKE I'M SO CONFUSED???

I get what they're trying to say, and it's advice other people have given me and I've done already. I've already cleared out my anons and blocked the people and CHOSE to not entertain the situation anymore. It makes no sense regardless, and anyways, my mental health comes first. I know from my experience that trying to say anything will only have people saying I'm causing the problem- almost everyone aside from the people I know have told me that I'm overreacting for being upset over hate.

The first ask they sent, I ignored it but when I saw the second I was just confused, because WHERE ARE YOU SEEING ME ENTERTAINING IT?? I've literally decided to ignore it by posting random shit 😭😭 and to come back and yell at me, "Well, I tried giving you advice, you don't want it" only makes me more fucking confused because WHAT ARE YOU REFERRING TOO????!!!!

And you're right too, some people's methods of handling shit is bad but also maybe explain yourself first?? Like you genuinely just entered my anons with this advice that I've already done, and then got mad because I already said I did it???

Bro I don't understand people sometimes holy shit

[hetalia-club]

I just have to spill my thoughts here for a second about my personal life for my own sanity. feel free to happily ignore and scroll by.

Good news everyone :D I just dumped my toxic emotionally abusive boyfriend. Terrible News everyone! :DDDD He was also my best friend and childhood best friend so isn't that great!? :)))

We were supposed to go to Sicily together in May...Why did I DO THAT!? I spent 2k on my plane ticket...the room is reserved... Do I like just not go to Italy now? Do I say F it and just go by myself? Do I try and quickly beg someone else to go with me who's okay with spending at least 2k on a plane ticket? Which would be no one in my life, maybe my parents would but idk what they got going on. I really wanted to go. Why could I have like just not waited until after that? We share a friend group and they are all more his friends than mine. So I just like isolated myself for no reason.

Sorry to dump this here and no I don't expect any of you to have the answers or do anything with this information.

These past few weeks for me have been really rough and I just made it somehow worse.

He distanced me from all my former friends who have all like moved on and have families and whatever and who I have not spoken to in five years so all I have right now is my family and work 'friends' I don't even like. I'm going to have to live with my parents for who knows how long because it was his house he had all the money in our relationship. He convinced me to quit my good desk job with benefits to work part time as a barista so I could clean his house and cook for him. But he also put up with all my weirdness and was fine with it.

Like when I say I have no idea what to do I truly mean that.

again I don't want anyone to feel responsible to do something about how I royalty screwed up my life. It's no ones fault. I shouldn't have let him isolate me so much from my friends and former life but TOO LATE NOW! I just need to stop being with men who have brown hair and brown eyes but are objectively terrible.

My only silver lining is that I was the one to end it. Which if anything am proud of myself for that because I have never broken up with anyone before and I normally just deal with whatever people do to me no matter how terrible and mean they are. I just have always forgiven him and everyone else.

But when some dude bro sits you down and asks you to "List reasons why you deserved to be loved by him" it was just too much. Like that might seem petty but I am sick of being the 'pretty girlfriend' I am so tired of having to dress to the 9s to go out and be expected to be perfect even if we're just going to a F*ng dive bar where I get stared out for dressing like I'm going to a club. Where he gets to look like a diarrhea stain who can't be bothered to wear a shirt that's not wrinkled or shave his scraggly beard. Why he thinks I should make a list of MY worth as a human being in his eyes. When he is average at best!? Like I'm not a 10 I'm not perfect I'm not delusional, I don't think I'm the hottest girl in the world or gods gift to man kind. But I'm out of his league, I do know that!

I always tend to cling to Hetalia harder when my life is falling apart around me because that's sort of just what I've done since I was a teen. I've never been in a healthy relationship with someone who actually likes me and Hetalia has always been there for me. Which is why I have been making a lot of content lately, it's been a distraction and I'm sorry if I've been bugging people with how much I've been posting. That's not been my intentions its just my coping mechanism and it's better than drinking...

This is the only social media I have that he's not on. I don't hate him enough to block him. I do still want to try and be his friend at some point if that's possible. I love his family and they love me and it's going to be so upsetting to see them again from a different perspective.

I'm okay...It's just been really rough lately...And I somehow just made it worse.(No I'm not going to hurt myself or anyone, don't even worry about that.)

[egg-emperor]

ya know while I do still love a lot of e for everyone series I liked as a kid and didn't stop just because I'm older and it's "embarrassing" or I'm "too old for it" or some bullshit, all my most active interests in the past few years has mostly been dark edgy shit except for the Sonic series which has always been my main interest and always will. this was my bro's observation of that when I was talking about other stuff I'm into that makes me sound insane lol

so I'm so used to seeing much darker and edgier and gorier stuff etc in games so when I share a dark evil Eggman concepts/fics/analysis that I feel are pretty damn tame in comparison to all that, I'm just genuinely surprised when some people will react to it like "wtf is wrong with you this is so disturbing you monster you shouldn't write this" and all that. and that's with the way that I take direct inspiration from canon itself and the evil that Eggman actually does there

I literally never realize that some people would think what I was writing was that extreme, compared to all the stuff I'm finding entertainment in with the other series I like. I just write what I see in the games with Eggman and what to share the thoughts and creations it inspires in me with y'all. and I always try to tag it and will always take suggestions for tagging too/appreciate when it's pointed out to me that I didn't tag correctly

but these bad faith assumptions and judgements of my character as someone who wants to upset people aren't true. I'm not edgy for attention or to upset people like a bully or troll, it's just genuinely how my mind works and my passion and I just wanna speak and create from the heart and put it out there lol. and I always find that really fun but people try to start drama instead of either resolving it privately and sensibly or just blocking and moving on without telling people I'm trying to upset people on purpose

so anyway the best game of all time would be a game starring Eggman where the whole purpose is to kill as many people as possible XD /j

[inevitable-pretty-chaos]

bro has 100 alters ☠️ faking did is so funnn you're so fuking unfunny i hope you die omg

I was going to just block you and move on, but... I'm confused?? We have around 12 headmates, not 100??? We've never said that we have DID, because we absolutely do not??

Are you refering to that one post about romanticizing plurality that we reblogged recently?

I'll die one day anyway, you will too, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ You're not gonna make me upset by writing random anonymous messages like a coward :)

I suggest starting a new hobby or killing the time differently than spreading hate around the internet :)

~Wren

[lionews]

"I'm in therapy. And you know what was recommended? To find safe spaces. So FORGIVE ME for being upset that people are defending children entering places not intended for them. Let's just let kids into EVERY age locked place regardless of content because clearly EVERYTHING IS FOR EVERY FUCKING AGE. "

Literally, WHERE did I say children SHOULD enter lioden? All I said is that you shouldn't excuse your shit behavior with your mental illness. It puts a bad look on people trying to better themselves instead of using it like a free pass to be an asshat. Should kids be on lioden? No they shouldn't fucking be, but it's not like the lioden staff can 100% prevent it. Complain all you want about it, but don't drag your mental illness in like it's an excuse to hate on literal CHILDREN. Learn to fucking read and comprehend basic sentences before coming on here expecting people to agree with you when you can't even make a point unless you bring up how "it's my mental illness guys".

Alternatively, just block anyone you suspect and move tf on!

Also, if your therapist suggested you find an adult safe space and you still joined a game that clearly states 16-17yr Olds are on site, then that's on you bro.

Want a REAL adult only space? Maybe go to a bar where you can be sure there's only adults. And if anyone is sneaking in, it's likely they're still 18!

.

[teaveetamer]

You people are funny. "If Engage doesn't sell as much as Houses it's not necessarily because the writing and advertising were bad, it's because Hopes scared people away!"

Ok I'm gonna let myself be a little bit of a bitch tonight, as a treat.

Bro if you hate my takes so much then why bother sending me an ask? Do yourself, and me, a favor and just block me or move on. And if you're gonna send me little whiny bitch ass anons about my posts the least you could do is read them. No one said Hopes was bad therefore no one bought Engage. We said retailers overestimated demand and overstocked Hopes, and that might have led to them understocking Engage. Which, and I don't know if you know this, is not a commentary on whether or not any of the games involved were actually good or not. If you assigned value or meaning to that statement beyond "did they print enough copies for people to purchase" then I don't know what to say to you, other than "touch grass" because I'm sick of 3H stannies misinterpreting everything that even minorly nudges their feefees in the wrong direction just so they can start a fight over absolutely nothing.

The fact that Hopes was overstocked and Engage was understocked is not up for debate. Amazon doesn't run 50% off sales of games that just released if they're moving their stock, and you don't have tons of reports of stock shortages if you stocked enough copies to meet demand.

And yes, believe it or not, being consistently understocked is going to have a marked difference on your sales of physical copies, which is what I'm looking at. Is the PS5 an underselling console just because it sold fewer units than the PS4 in their respective launch years? No, because there were obvious external factors that would have prevented the PS5 from selling more. Which is why, again if you'd actually bothered to read the post, you would see that I noted that this is more of an art than a science. Because, you know, there are numerous external factors which could be impacting things and we need to wait until we have official sales numbers from Nintendo before making definitive calls on anything.

I also offered several explanations for Engage being understocked that have nothing to do with Hopes (such as parts shortages or competing for factory time with Pokemon, Zelda, or other big Nintendo franchises that would take priority over FE) but sure, don't mention those, clearly I'm just in denial and out to get the 3H fans.

I'm sorry you're upset that enough people didn't buy your fucking anime Three Kingdoms waifu game for you to get the DLC that will actually make its cobbled together mess of a story make sense, but that's not really my problem.

Can't wait for you to send this in your discord or wherever and whine about how Vee was just such a big meanie to you. I'm happy to talk about basically anything, but I'm not going to waste my time with you if you're going to send me whiny ass strawman bullshit like this.

[pvremichigan]

6, 29, 19, 24

6. excessive ooc

Look, if all I see is ooc and not a single reply, I'm just unfollowing. Make a sideblog or a separate blog for that. Updates here and there are perfectly fine! I love it! But if it's all you do and - better yet - we tried to interact??? Buddy, sorry to break it to you but you're barely an rp blog now. This does not count with taking a break. This is if you claim you're active and ready to reply.

19. smut

Hoo boy... Okay, I hate seeing it. Headcanons are fine! I just hate seeing smut all over the dash. I might be biased with my repulsion, but I just hate seeing it. I won't unfollow unless it's excessive/all you do or aim for. I write that shit on discord with ONE person and that's it. I refuse to write it with anyone else and my muse wouldn't even DO that with anyone else. I've got a lot of blogs unfollowed and blocked and since then, I BARELY see it on the dashboard. I just don't think it's something I'd want to come across in public. I prefer it under a readmore but we can't all be winners.

I also think that it just gets... Boring or repetitive to write. Foreplay is probably the most interesting part, the rest is... The same. At least, from past experiences.

24. your first RPC

Hetalia. The good old days. My OG one was Creepypasta but that's when I rp'd on (i'm sorry) Miiverse. Yeah remember that? That place used to be my LIFE. But then I moved to iFunny and that's where the hetalia one popped up. Followed it all the way to tumblr and I...

Don't miss it.

I miss the people and the really cool state ocs but I don't miss the lore nor the controversy nor the drama. I wanna see more ocs like Mich, tbh, states that aren't hetalia affiliated.

29. blocking

BLOCK TO YOUR HEARTS CONTENT. If I've learned anything in the rpc, it's that you owe no one anything. Give people a try and give them common courtesy but GOD you owe nothing to anyone. You don't owe SHIT. SO... If someone is making you uncomfortable, or made a mutual of yours uncomfortable which upsets you, or just don't want to see them on the dash. BLOCK. IT'S OKAY. JUST BLOCK! Yeah it hurts, especially when you're blocked as well, but there are SO MANY PEOPLE HERE YOU CAN INTERACT WITH. Guaranteed you're bound to find another muse similar to theirs that you CAN interact with. Blocking is good, it's great, and my list grows. Sure, some people deserve another chance and some people deserve a shot in the first place! But you don't owe it to them. They WILL find someone to interact with. It doesn't HAVE to be you. It's okay. Even if they really wanted to interact, I promise it'll be okay. Everyone will move on.

I prefer being blocked rather than ignored when I follow someone, tell you that much! Being ignored makes me feel inhuman sometimes with how bad it gets! Just block me, bro, feels better knowing you saw me and locked the door rather than look and look away without a second glance.

[theroundbartable]

I got a message the other day on here, which was a pretty simple hello. So i did what I always do and checked the bio first to see what kind of person is talking to me.

So, the profile was a pretty girl, the blog had one post other than that profile which was a comic. My brain still went into warning mode: is this a bot?

So i answered the hello and the first few lines of conversation were pretty normal. Hello, who are you, where do you live?

Which to me, was kinda sus. So i asked them what they want to talk about. I don't talk around the bush with Strangers.

They got like.... Kinda upset? But the answer was still pretty simple. 'i want to make friends.'

The thing is... This is tumblr. this ain't a usual social media side. You don't come here to meet people in real life, you come here to bury your shame. That's like.... The whole theme. This ain't twitter or instagram. I told them this isn't information i wanted to share and the conversation moved on.

Every single line by them was a one liner. A question. Nothing that shared anything personal about them that wasn't "here is where i live". Like.... Bro. This is fandom. I'm a fanblog. Personal talk here is gushing about fanart and fanfics and characters and shit.

Eventually I asked them to prove to me they aren't a bot. This person asked my why i thought that, so I explained what I just pointed out above. I asked them to give me more than two lines about anything they like about any fandom, if they want me to believe they are a real person.

Their answer was smth like: are you mad that I like your stuff?

Which.... As you can imagine, proved to me they were a bot.

Either that or a Twitter user who get's upset at the most unreasonable points in a conversation.

One post is not enough.

If you want to be distinguished from a bot, use more than two sentences. Don't use a real persons face on here (for goodness sake, don't tell people where you live as a conversation Starter).

REBLOG. ART.

This ain't twitter. This ain't facebook or instagram. This is tumblr. In here we dry clean.

If you look like a bot, you will be blocked.

Oh man you guys weren't kidding about the Twitter refugees with empty blogs. Spooky

[thisdogpaystaxes]

i work really hard and i can't win. i'm doing really bad at work learning my new position that i busted my ass to get and i feel so dumb and i can't even try to talk about it bc i cry bc i'm so sensitive to it bc i really want this and i want a good work life balance but i can't have that if works not computing. i haven't been able to work properly in months and it's bc i haven't been taking my adderall.

i transfer for my new job on monday. I DONT HAVE A CAR! my fucking car is still broken and being worked on. i've poured my savings into this car, my savings that i'm trying to use for school. the one thing i care for most. school. my fucking little dumb seemingly unattainable dream of being a therapist :D how am i gonna get to work bro.

i start grad school in three weeks and i'm so scared. every time i try to get mroe familiarized i'm interrupted by some shit. it's so expensive and i fear nothing will click bc nothing is at work. i'm scared that if it does click, i'll still struggle because i'm working 40 hours and i don't know what i'm even doing. i feel like i'm pouring money into the one thing i want most and i'm gonna fuck it up!!!! this is all i want!!! i just want to be a therapist so fucking bad but there's road blocks!!!

i know i need to be patient and grind for what i want but i'm gonna fuck it up! BC GUESS WHAT THERES MORE

my cyclothymia is doing its thing and i'm really sad and depressed and unmotivated and i can't feel properly. i've been with this guy for a few months and he's awesome. he treats me perfectly, he takes care of me, he gets along with my family- and is also a lot older than i am. but that's not the problem. i just can't do a relationship and ** ***** high key like things just haven't been the same i just randomly stopped feeling the same way about him but he's so in love with me and i thought i felt the same but then i saw my friend and her partner and it made me realize i'm not :) i know what i'm like when i'm in love and immm jsut not. or maybe it's different but he's not the one i don't think and now i'm like oh

but is that me talking or my incapability of feeling that rn bc i'm depressed. i'm also convinced i just won't find romantic love in this life and i've been saying that bc of the love i have for my friend sis honestly enough.

i love my girl friends though like i literally can't get enough of them and they are why i'm alive. they're my favorite people ever!

i would like to add that my body is ruined. it is upsetting. bc even if i make it i will die young. my hips are so fucked i can barely walk. i keep getting infections. and candida overgrowth in multiple ways. and my brain is rotten. my hands keep cramping and having trouble moving bc my bones r fucked. which is giving me tendinitis. i have an eating disorder so i either binge or starve. bc i don't feel hungry just sick if it's even that. and i drink a lot!

but at least i'm trying right.

and like i'm so capable of dealing with other peoples problems like i have a lot of chaos but i really can and that's why i want to be a therapist bc like fuck let me help you!!!

but things just keep happening. and people in my life keep needing me at times when i just need to be alone and detox and try to be okay. my soul is being torn apart by the limbs. all of these things i just talked about are happening consistently one after another, where the physical deterioration is sprinkled between the life situations. and it sucks. things won't stop happening i just want peace so bad like a day of no physical pain or mental anguish bc im in a rough fucking spot and it's just exhausting

this is me trying. i'm trying i'm trying i'm trying like i'm doing my fucking best but i csnt stay awake bc of my brain and my body both being so injured. and i keep hurting the people around me, not all but yeah the men. always hurting men. not my kiggs though he's my angel baby. they don't deserve it, im just destroyed!

[cookinguptales]

The way you talk with certainty about "original scripts" and stuff is giving Pepe Silvia tbh. Cmon. The season we saw is the season the writers wanted us to see. 4x09 only doesn't make sense to folks who had cemented their expectations already and still refuse to integrate the episode we actually got, an ep which does make total sense in the order of events we saw and the season we all watched. Sure, some people would have liked to have seen a more satisfying conclusion to Marwa's arc. That's fair. But I'm failing to see how that warrants the mental gymnastics to explain why your expectations were not met.

One more thing...you mention that the narrative doesn't tell us that Nandor's actions toward Marwa are wrong, but I'd argue that 4x08's narrative DOES show us that Nandor is being a huge dick and what he's doing is wrong. That's kind of the whole point of his subplot in that episode. It's 4x09 that doesn't dwell on that, because hey, that's not the focus of the episode (and I get why it rubs people wrong. It just doesn't for me). It's ok to not have liked 4x09 and it's ok to not have liked where they went with Marwa's story (even if I personally think people are putting way too much emphasis on her as a side character and how that's a huge part of the disconnect people are having) but what it definitely doesn't do is support a theory that the writers haphazardly threw together the season without a care in the world for the story or its continuity. At minimum, let's put some respect on Wally Baram & Aasia LaShay Bullock's names, two women of colour writers on wwdits whose job it is to ensure continuity and edit the season's story.

Anon, I get that you may not agree with my ideas, but you're welcome to ignore them. I feel like I've made my case well and I believe in what I've said. There's an element of anger and personal attack in this that I don't think is warranted. I don't think I'm disrespecting any writer by talking about rewrites and writing decisions and by criticizing where I don't think things came together.

We literally know that they reimagined parts of this season partway through filming. They have told us that. I don't really understand why you're acting like I'm showing up at the writers' house with a knife for saying it, or for saying that I think the rewrites show.

I think the fact that 4.08 was starting to explore the idea that Nandor had made Bad Life Choices re: Marwa was exactly why 4.09 felt so jarring when that was all tossed aside and never fully elaborated on before they put her on a bus. There's a reason why people were so interested in that plotline in 4.08 and so disappointed in 4.09. It was a very ignominious end for a character who was finally starting to come into themselves -- who wasn't just a side character.

Besides which, WWDITS has always gone to great lengths to humanize their recurring side characters and give them interesting character arcs. I think discounting Marwa as a side character and saying that's why her poor writing is understandable actually is disrespectful to the world that the writers have built thus far. I am judging Marwa's writing against characters like Jenna and Gregor and the Guide and Sean and Charmaine and hell, even Simon the Devious. WWDITS has great recurring side characters, usually!

Like the reason why I had high expectations for this writing team is because they'd always met those expectations in the past. And this time they didn't. I'm upset because this was a conscious decision and the season they chose to show us. I'm upset because the writing feels rushed and at times half-baked, not something I'm accustomed to thinking about this show, and because I think the rewrites show.

I get that you seem to have a hard time with people criticizing the writing decisions in this show -- and make no mistake, I am criticizing decisions. But no, I'm not going to feel bad about this here, and I don't particularly appreciate the weird attempted guilt trip by naming story editors and telling me that I'm disrespecting them as WOC by criticizing the writing decisions in a tv show.

Like... you are very welcome to your own opinions, anon, and I'm glad you enjoyed the show you got. But no, tracking writing decisions and trying to piece together how the writing room came to those decisions (with, yes, the rewrites they have admitted to in mind) doesn't make me some weirdo indulging in mental gymnastics who's being disrespectful to the writers.

(Now some of my meta? That is mental gymnastics and joyfully so. Having fun on these monkey bars, tbh.)

[krshush]

also yo seeing this last night was the worst thing in the world

Followed by maybe one of my favorite boss designs so far

now THIS is what I SIGNED UP FOR