#like aw you want to go on a date (roundhouse kick to the face)

[mydream-synopsis]

...

he's actually a security threat

wb spoilers

what is he even on

[shurisneakers]

if you're taking ideas for harmless drabbles, i'd love to see one of bucky on one of those dates he mentioned and reader's shenanigans. if you aren't, feel free to ignore this!

a/n: are we really going to let a word limit define what a drabble is? is the vibe and spirit not enough? i say this bc this is 5.7k words long im so sorry. also hey thank you to everyone who piped in with their knowledge of violent geese and how apartment security works in new york!! also thanks to my bby @spiderrpcrker for reading this and telling me to publish this bc i wasnt going to fkjghfkj

warning: swearing, bad luck, dates, frustrated bucky, anxiety, mentions of gore but like only a sentence

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Catch up with the rest of the series here: Harmless Masterlist

Bucky returns only two weeks later. His mission lasted longer than expected and all he wants is to lie down and sleep for forty eight hours straight.

“FRIDAY?” he mumbles, kicking off his shoes. His jacket had already been discarded by his bedroom door when he walked in.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”

“How are ya?” He doesn��t miss a beat in asking, even though he’s exhausted.

“As good as ever. Did you have a successful mission?”

“If by successful you mean one sprained limb instead of two, then yeah.” He wasn’t really cribbing. His ankle was already starting to heal anyway and it was worth the roundhouse kick to a Nazi's face. “Do I have anything scheduled for this weekend?”

“You have a meeting on your calendar scheduled for this Saturday.”

“Could you send a text to Y/N and ask if we can push it to the next day?” His muscles feel sore and God, he could definitely use a hot shower but all of that becomes secondary the minute he feels the sheets under him.

“Would you like me to reschedule the other one as well?”

“What’s that?” He opens one eye in confusion. “There’s another one?”

“It’s on Sunday. You’ve labelled it ‘date’.”

Ah, fuck.

“Would you like me to change it?” FRIDAY never sounds like she’s judging him, which is nice. It also reminds him about how she, as an AI, can’t judge him, which is a rude wake-up call to how he doesn’t have friends.

“No,” his voice is muffled against the pillow, “no, let it be. Where is it again?”

“You’ve only specified diner, Sergeant Barnes.”

Public space, daytime, plenty of escape routes. Good on his less delirious self for selecting a diner.

“Thanks, FRIDAY.” Now that he’s a little more relaxed, he can feel himself slip in and out of consciousness.

“One last thing," her automated voice commands his attention again. "Y/N replied. She says sure and to take care.”

“Yay.” Not even a second later he’s out like a light.

____

“Did you bring me any souvenirs?” Is the first thing he hears as he marches into your lair.

“What could I possibly get you?”

“A postcard, a t-shirt.” You don’t look up from your tinkering.

“Decapitated finger, used bullets,” he continues, “cement blocks.”

“Ew.” You snap the lid shut on the thing you’re working on, spinning around on your chair. "That's not nearly romantic enough."

“That’s all you’re going to get from a Russian underground bunker.” He does a mini jog up the stairs of the platform to where you are.

“Does the finger have a ring at lea- oh hello?” You raise an eyebrow at the sight of him. “You look different.”

He peers down. The outfit was still all black. As always.

“Not your clothes, dummy,” you interrupt, making him look back at you. “Your face. What’d you do?”

He unconsciously raises a hand to his cheek.

“Did you wash your face? Is that it?” you squint at him. “Has it been a few months since the last time?”

“Wow, you’re so funny,” he drawls sarcastically.  “Top tier comedian right there.”

“No wait, it’s the beard.” You snap your fingers in realisation, completely ignoring his comment. “You trimmed it.”

“So what if I did?” He leans on your table.

“You going somewhere?” you ask, elastic snapping against your hands as you remove your gloves.

“It’s none of your busi-”

“Hold on a second.” A sly smile begins to make its way onto your face. “Are you going on a date, Bucky Barnes?”

His comeback dies down in his throat. That didn’t take you very long for you to figure out.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” You look smug, to say the least.

“Shut up.” A ray of light glistening distracts him. He traces it to the thing you were working on earlier.

“Where are you guys going?” You cross your arm across your chest, a small smirk on your face.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” It’s a silver box, engraved intricately with swirls that, when he observes carefully, looks like a skull. Wow, terrifying.

“I’m literally asking you.”

“What are those?” He shifts the conversation towards a more productive angle instead.

“Evil in a box and some other stuff.” You shrug offhandedly. “Is it a lunch date or just coffee?”

“Like Pandora’s Box?”

“A discount version, sure,” you confirmed impatiently. “Stop changing the topic, listen to me.”

He tilts his head, waiting for you to continue.

“Do you need a chaperone?” The sincerity in your voice for such a bullshit question has him scoffing.

“Good God- no, I do not need a chaperone. I’m 106 years old, I can go out unsupervised.” He reaches over and plucks the box off your table.

“Sir, you’re a geriatric."

“What are those?” He points to a few ray odd ray guns.

“Minor stuff you don’t have to worry about right now.”

He shakes the box in his hand. “What’s gonna happen if I open this?”

“Very bad things,” you whispered ominously before your volume returns to normal. “How’d you meet this person? Online?”

“She’s Natasha’s friend.” He turns the box over, seeing a small latch at the side. “What bad things?”

“Bad luck and misery. Don’t play with it, it’s dangerous.” You pull the box away from him. “Aw, is it a blind date?”

“Why do you care so much?” he shoots back, tugging the box back towards him.

“Just lookin’ out for you, Bucko,” you huff, adjusting your grip on your device. “Need to keep my favourite senior citizen safe.”

“I have a vibranium arm.” Whose force he could use to grab the box once and for all, but wasn’t. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“What if she has one too, huh? Then what?”

“She doesn’t.” As far as he knows, he’s the only one alive with a metal appendage made out of the strongest metal in the world. That could very well change by tomorrow but he's keeping the title for now.

“But what if she does? I swear to- stop trying to take the box!” You pull a little more forcefully, but he doesn’t relent.

“I want this to get over before this evening.”

“What time’s your date?”

“Why do you care?” He’s sure anyone who saw the dumb tug-of-war you both were playing would just automatically assume he was an absolute manchild, not an Avenger.

“Because.” You don’t explain further. “Tell me what time your date is, you weirdo.”

“Five o’clock, now let go.”

“Fine,” you say, suddenly loosening your grip. Clearly, it doesn't make much of a difference since he isn't struggling to keep his balance from the sudden loss of force.

“Fine.” He clears his throat, straightening up. 

You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.

A putrid smell creeps into his nose, one all too similar to spoiled milk and decaying seaweed. He has to physically stop himself from gagging.

“Have a good day.” You smile and lean far back. Too far. It looks like you're almost going to fall out of the chair.

Through the tears that are threatening to line his eyelids, he looks down at the box whose latch you somehow managed to lift, leaving the box open.

“What the fuck is this?” He coughs, swatting at the air in front of him to clear it.

“I told you; bad luck in a box.”

“You can’t scientifically create bad luck, that’s bullshit.” He tosses the box back onto your table. You watch it slide past you, not making any effort to stop it. “What is it really?”

“I’m not lying.” You pull open a drawer, brandishing a small table fan that you set down beside you. “If you open it, you’re going to have terrible luck for the day.”

He glowers at you when you turn the fan on, forcing the fumes back towards him.

“Besides, that’s all I was doing today.” You kick your feet up. “So you can leave now.”

He doesn’t care if you’re lying about not having anything else to do today. You could burn down the world if you wanted to but he needs to take a stupid shower. Again.

“You’re the fuckin’ worst.” He tries airing out his shirt, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible.

“Have fun on your date, sarge!” you encourage him as he stalks out of the lair. “Remember to wrap it befo-”

He turns it into a sprint before you can finish.

____

Six hours later and he’s absolutely convinced he fucked up.

He isn’t used to having his weekends free.

He realises that this is the first time in months that he’s actually stepped out of the Tower for something that wasn’t directly mission-related. He should probably get some air. Touch some grass. See the sun.

His shirt thankfully manages to rid itself of the odour from the dumb box so he didn’t have to go take a shower. With nothing much planned and a few hours to spare, he heads to the coffee shop instead.

It’s a small place, bustling and alive with a crowd of people. They have a little bookshelf that usually is full of books donated by patrons, free for anyone to read.

The barista smiles at him. The coffee costs more than his high school education. He awkwardly smiles back.

He’s not a regular, but they’ve seen him enough times to know that he usually asks for black coffee in a to-go cup, later adding a sugar or two according to his own taste. They're nice to him, occasionally throwing in a cookie or something on the house. He can't tell if it's because of the Avenger status or the sizeable tip he leaves.

He picks up a random book from the shelf, fully intending not to read it but to just sit there and think. The book acted as a shield for his resting bitch face, resting murder face and his resting rage face. More often than not, a good combination of the three.

He sets the coffee down at the corner table he manages to nab in a quick second, along with the two sachets of sugar.

“Is this seat taken?” Someone asks from beside him. He earnestly shakes his head in a ‘no’, gesturing for them to take it.

They give him a quick thanks and drag the chair away from his table.

He does a quick overlook of the book he picked up.

The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot.

Well, now he’s too anxious to put it back. YA fiction it is.

He reaches for the sugar while glossing over the summary. He reaches a little further when it doesn’t come to his hand immediately, blindly running his fingers across the table.

Bucky peeks over the book, eyebrows knitting together when he notices that they’re missing.

He was sure he picked it up.

He looks underneath the table. It wasn’t there, neither under his seat. Strange, but okay. He picks up the book and the cup, walking back to the station to grab two sugars.

This time he makes sure to tuck it into his pocket, double-checking before going back to his table.

Which was now occupied. He wanted to groan.

His mind automatically reverts back to the box from that morning.

“Come on,” he scoffs quietly to himself. It was a coincidence. “Get yourself together.”

“A seat at the counter just cleared up,” the barista from earlier offers when she sees him standing in the middle of the store.

See? Good luck.

He shoots her a grateful look, venturing over to the barstool to take his place. It’s not the most comfortable, but then again, he wasn’t planning to stay there for very long.

He empties the sugar into the coffee, stirring slowly before opening a random page in the book.

He takes a long sip, ignoring how hot the drink was.

He chokes immediately. Because either he was losing his mind or his order had somehow got switched from ‘no sugar’ to ‘diabetes in a cup’.

He takes another small sip and his face immediately twists in disgust. Definitely too sweet. The sweetener he added only made it worse.

He catches the eye of the barista. She looks on in concern.

“Is everything okay?”

Fuck.

He’s not one to make a scene. He just wants to live as imperceptibly as he could.

“Yep.” The sweetness sticks to the back of his throat. “All good.”

He just closes his eyes and downs the rest of it without thinking twice, trying to hide the grimace in his face. He gives her a weak thumbs up. She doesn't look convinced.

He leaves the shop soon after, hands shoved in his pocket. Maybe he could go sit by the lake at Central Park, watch the clouds. It reminded Bucky of the lake in front of his hut in Wakanda and the hours he'd sit in front of it, feet dipped into the water as his goats fed. He misses it.

He makes a sharp turn at a corner, still thinking about his options when his ankle abruptly twists under him.

He stumbles rather ungracefully, almost hitting the ground, but manages to save himself through the newly built up immunity he has towards falling thanks to all his encounters with you.

His gaze lands on his hardcore combat boots. Their laces had come undone.

Now he just knew that was horseshit. He always double knots them; they had never loosened in the past before.

The box.

He shoves the thought out of his head, crouching down to tie them again. He tugs on them to make sure they’re secure before standing up again.

Central Park is a few blocks away but he’s glad he didn’t bring his bike. The weather was rather nice and the wind in his hair felt good.

He wanders around the park for a while, looking for the lake. He pauses at a board with a map of the park on it, assessing how far it was.

Once he's ascertained which path to go towards, he turns on his heel to go.

He fucking trips again.

“Are you serious?” he says furiously under his breath. “Cut it out.”

He’s half-convinced that he should tie it around his ankle like a sexy lace-up set of heels. He ties a triple knot this time, glares at it until he’s sure it’s fine and checks to see if anyone saw him humiliate himself.

Only a person on a nearby bench who looked like they were passed out drunk, given that their hoodie and sunglasses clad self was slumped over.

No witnesses. No 'You won't BELIEVE what the Winter Soldier did! Critics say it's his biggest blunder yet!' articles the next day on social media.

He manages to make it to the lake in one piece and no more falls, partly because he keeps his eyes fixed on his shoes to ensure no fuckery occurs.

There are a few people rowing and plenty of others lining the bank at scattered locations. There’s a mom and her kid at the place he ends up. She sends him a small smile in greeting and he returns the favour.

There’s a secluded bench that he takes a place on, letting out a small sigh. If he ignores the traffic and the skateboarders and the people in general, it’s actually kind of peaceful.

There are geese and their little goslings swimming around the water close to the shore. Maybe he should have brought some birdseed. Or kale.

The kid beside him is busy fashioning something out of leaves, only occasionally erupting into giggles when it doesn't pan out. His mom watches him fondly, pointing at twigs he could use. Everything seems kind of picture-perfect and his body automatically relaxes, easing further into the seat and closing his eyes for a second.

Until there's a large splash and loud distressed honking. He whips his head around to find the same kid staring straight ahead at the goose with a wide grin. His mother curses quietly, picking herself up off the ground and grabbing his hand, half chastising him for throwing something at an animal and half urging him to walk faster.

The goose turns to Bucky. With no one else to blame for the sudden attack, it logically launches itself at him. His smile drops.

He gets up in a rush. The dumb bird nearly comes for his head, but he deflects with his metal arm.

“I didn’t even do anything.” He swats at it swiftly, trying not to cause any real damage. The goose, understandably, does not speak English.

He flinches when one of them bites at his knee. He can punt it to the sun but he doesn’t want to.

“Stop that.” He sticks his hand out to shove the stupid thing away, retreating back to the road. “Jesus, why are you so aggressive?”

Among the barrage of feathers showering on him, he prays his damn shoelace doesn’t unravel as he shields his head with one arm, the other fending himself while he moves hurriedly away.

The goose honks angrily at him. He scowls at it, not exactly pleased with the reminder that these fucking overgrown ducks were constantly bloodthirsty.

It doesn’t leave him alone till he’s significantly away from where he was sitting. He wants to call it profanity but that’d probably piss it off more.

The box and its effects were definitely starting to feel real.

Fuck it, no more day out for him. The best plan he can think of is to just go to the diner he’s supposed to meet his date at.

The waiter greets him with a courteous nod, which Bucky can only imagine was the best he could muster when a dishevelled 200-pound man walks in covered in goose feathers and irritation.

He won't admit that he’s too scared to eat lunch at this point because he can’t rule out food poisoning. He spends the next two hours on his phone playing Fruit Ninja and plucking feathers that accented his all-black outfit.

Several glasses of water later and a second before he’s about to beat his high score, someone taps on his shoulder, breaking him out of his concentration.

Motherfu-

He clenches his eye shut, inhaling deeply before turning around.

“James?”

“Hey, yeah, that’s me.” Bucky almost falls over the table with how fast he stands up, clearly underestimating his size. “Leah?”

“Hi.” She smiles and he finds himself smiling nervously along with her.

“Hi.” He steps out to pull out her chair for her and she laughs. "Nice to meet you."

“How long have you been waiting here?” she asks while setting down her bag.

“Around ten minutes.” He clears his throat to hopefully hide the fact that he was lying through his teeth.

“Just give me a second, I need to tell my friend I reached,” Leah pulls out her phone and he nods.

“Another glass of water for you?” The waiter seems less enthusiastic about Bucky’s 8th refill.

“Yes,” he answers, hoping he doesn’t call him out on it, “please.”

“You must be really dehydrated."

Bucky turns to look at him slowly. “I like the taste.”

He can’t really blame the guy. Bucky’s been there for hours without ordering anything solid, just leaching off their free water and complimentary bread basket.

“So, James.” She tosses her phone back into her bag, leaning forward on her palms easily. “Tell me about yourself.”

He had rehearsed this a million times. He could do this.

“I, uh,-”

“Menu?” Okay, so someone clearly had a vendetta against him.

“Thank you.” She takes it with a smile.

His morning debacle with the coffee flashes through his mind. Suddenly the idea of a diner didn’t seem so smart.

However, she’s already placed her order and George is standing beside him expectantly, daring him to ask for another glass of water, so he places his usual order and hopes that your stupid bad luck thing wore off.

He quickly learns that his date is laid back, and it isn’t hard to fall into a rhythm with her even though she’s the one asking most of the questions.

“How’d you meet Nat?” Is his attempt at one.

“She used to come in for lunch every week at the place I work.” Leah leans back in her chair. “She can really handle her alcohol.”

He’d be worried about Nat day drinking if he didn’t know about her complete inability to get drunk. She might as well have been downing glasses of lemonade.

“Yeah, she’s-” Intimidating, scary, cool “-really something.”

“She mentioned that you like movies.”  He definitely spends a lot of time watching them. “You got any recommendations?”

It’s easier to figure out how different things are or how much he missed out over the years through them. He’s glad he sat out the early 2000s, judging by their fashion sense and hairstyles.

He's watched several movies over the past few months, a few of them critically acclaimed and others who were just there for the cult following.

But now everything goes blank and the only thing that he can remember are the biopics made about Steve that were somehow hilarious for gifting him the mental image of Freddie Prinze Jr. dressed in the stars and stripes, and highly distressing for the number of historical inaccuracies. Contrary to popular belief, Stevie did not, in fact, consider running for president after he took up the shield, nor did he start his own bar chain.

He can’t name Oh Captain, My Captain starring Channing Tatum as his favourite movie on his first date and hope to make a good first impression.

“Despicable Me was kinda fun.” He wants to kill himself. “I mean, it’s the last one I saw.”

Her face twists in mild disgust, but he can tell it isn't ill-intentioned. “It's a good movie, but God, that just gave me some intense flashbacks to my aunt’s Facebook page. Don’t think I can look at a minion ever again.”

He sniggers with her. He doesn’t know what the context is.

He’s a little awkward, and he can definitely tell he isn’t the most open book but she laughs at some of his attempts at jokes. There’s a distinct discomfort he has lingering at the back of his mind prodding at him, telling him over and over again that he isn’t ready for something like this. A warning bell, asking him to leave as soon as possible because he was in a dangerous situation.

He remembers what his therapist told him about breathing and remembering that the resources he had available were greater than his anxiety and he tries to get out of his head. It takes a few minutes of acting like he's fine but he manages to do it.

Other than the one time he scalds his tongue on the coffee but played it off with a pained smile, shoving down thoughts of your stupid invention, things actually went okay.

It was nice, even though they decided by the end that it was better if they both gelled together better as friends. It lifts the strange fear he feels and he can hear Dr. Mendoza say she's proud of him for taking this step before spending three hours psychoanalysing why they decided to stay platonic.

Bucky promises to visit her sushi shop with Nat soon and she says a bottle of sake awaits him for a drinking game. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her that Nat and he share the same tolerance for alcohol.

He makes sure to leave George a tip. A big one. It’s the first time he sees the guy smile the entire evening.

He’s waving goodbye to Leah outside and he thinks that maybe it was a good end to the day and that things actually turned out fine.

Until he turns around to leave, only to have someone walk straight into him with an iced tea.

The cold comes as a bit of a shock, making him jump slightly. He stares at his shirt, using his fingertips to pull it away from his body.

The person melts into a series of apologies immediately, offering to dry clean his shirt but Bucky just forces a shake of his head and says it’s okay even though he can feel the sugar making the shirt stick to his chest. Goose feathers and iced tea. Was there anything else that would like to attach itself to him?

His fists clench and his teeth grit and he has to physically control himself from sprinting to your lair because God knows what else is in store for him and he didn't want to add in any way.

The door to the lair is locked. Fuckin’ brilliant.

When no one answers after minutes worth of waiting, he fishes for his phone and realises that maybe two hours of Fruit Ninja was not the best idea, especially on a phone known for having shitty battery life.

There’s roughly 2 percent left. By the time he opens his app to give you a call, his phone screen goes black.

He groans. He’s desperate at this point and under any other normal circumstances, he would have never, ever considered doing this.

But ten minutes later he’s outside your apartment building. You’re aware that he has your address; no doubt that it was in the SHIELD file he had gotten, and he knows that you know but it was still weird.

The buzzer has your last name listed next to it. He’s sure that he’ll break it if he keeps pressing it at this rate but he really needs you to let him in.

“Who the fu-” your voice comes through the intercom.

“I’m sorry for showing up like this, my phone died and I couldn’t reach you,” He breathes out as soon as he hears you. “But I need you to fix this.”

When he doesn’t hear a reply, he wonders if the thing actually worked. He’s about to start pressing it again-

“Bucky?” You sound a little surprised to hear him. “You’re at my house. Why are you at my house?”

“I need you to fix whatever this is.”

“What are you- fine, I’m buzzing you in,” your voice, initially confused soon trails off into something more dismissive.

There’s a soft click from the door, allowing him to push it open. The elevator is already on the same floor as him so he just uses that.

The elevator goes up a floor or two. His feet tap restlessly against the carpeted floor.

The lights turn off and everything comes to a standstill. His foot stops tapping.

He should have known. He should have fucking known.

Thirty seconds pass. He’s still in pitch darkness with the elevator showing no signs of moving.

In fact, he’s resigned to his fate. He sits down on the ground, only one step away from completely laying down and hoping someone finds his body here someday.

It’s six minutes of plain silence. He might as well get comfortable if he’s going to get stuck here for the rest of his life. Did he change his will? Does he even have a will?

There’s finally a whir. He thinks that maybe he’s going to plummet to his doom as the perfect end to this day, but then the light switches on and it starts moving upward.

It stops at the floor with a ding. He doesn’t get off the ground, only eyes the door wearily. With his luck, it wouldn’t open.

But it does and within a second he’s on his feet, scrambling to get out before it changes its mind.

He remembers your door number, basically charging down the hall to get to it.

The door is white and the paint is starting to chip off it. The handle itself is dented in a few places and he wonders if it was your fault or someone else's.

His knocks are rapid, agitated even. He doesn’t stop until he hears your loud shouts telling him to cut it out.

“What the hell were you doing, trying to break down my door?” It swings open, revealing you in your pajamas. “Haven’t you done that already? And where were you, I’ve been waiting for like, ten minutes.”

He honestly feels bad for showing up uninvited and highly flustered. He can’t imagine it’s a pretty sight either. "This bad luck shit- fix it. My whole day’s been fucked up.”

“What are you-” Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, taking in his appearance.

It takes you a second to realise what he’s talking about but when you do, your face settles.

“How was your date?” You lean against the door frame, arms crossed over your chest.

“Really,” He glowered at you, “that’s what you care about?”

“Yes.” You nod. “Did you have fun?”

He hesitates. “I guess?”

“Was she nice?”

“Yeah.” Where was this going.

“Good, I’m happy for you.” The smile on your face is genuine. “Look at you go, Casanova.”

“We agreed to be just friends, but that’s not the point here. Y/N,” he whines. “I have a mission next week, I can’t afford to fuck up. My whole day was off and I don’t want it to carry over.”

“Your whole day?” you questioned, standing up instead of leaning against the wall. “Buck-”

“Just fix it.”

“Okay.” You lift your hand up, extending it towards his face.

He waits for you to do something.

You flick him on the forehead.

“There,” you declare, going back to your previous position. “you’re cured.”

What.

He says exactly what he’s thinking.

You laugh. “Dude. I was fucking with you.”

Huh?

“Well, actually maybe just like, three things and then I got bored.”

He’s confused.

“You know,” you begin when he doesn’t reply, “taking the sugar packets, switching your coffee order when you were looking under the table, took your place when you left, the shoelaces.”

“The shoelaces?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “That’s the other ray gun you saw this morning. Unties your shoelaces. I stopped after that because I thought you figured it out.”

His face scrunches in puzzlement.

“I mean, you looked right at me and told me to cut it out.”

He racks his brain about what you could possibly be talking about before it hits him. The hungover person on the goddamn bench in the park.

“You were the one in the hoodie and sunglasses.”

“I just followed the Avengers’ code of disguise.” You shrug. “Turns out it kinda works. Also teleportation. So helpful.”

He forgot about the teleportation. That's why you could do all of it so fast without him noticing you were even there.

“What about the fucking geese?”

You pause for a second. “The geese?”

“And the elevator.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” The confusion on your face is apparent. “What geese and elevator? I have no idea what you’re saying right now.”

“Everything’s been a mess today,” he grumbles. “I don’t know what’s real or not.”

“I swear I had nothing to do with it other than what I mentioned.” There’s indignation on your features that quickly gives way to delight. “Holy shit, did I just accidentally invent portable bad luck?”

“Okay-” his palm finds its way to his forehead in exasperation, “-then what the hell was the smell?”

“What smell- oh, the one from the box?”

He nods briskly.

“Secretions Magnifique.” You snorted. “It’s a perfume. The worst rated one I could find.”

“Perfume?”

“With notes of milk, seaweed and sandalwood.”

“It wasn’t an inator?”

“No, it wasn- did you get vibe checked by a goose at the park?” You stifle a laugh when you notice a stray feather on his thigh.

“What does that even mean?” he asks in despair.

“I can see why it attacked you. You got bad juju.” You raise an eyebrow. “Maybe if you stop staring so much-”

“So I just have shit luck.” Is that a fucking relief or even worse?

“Well,” you begin but decide not to continue.

Even with all the irritability masking it, you could see that he genuinely was just not having a good time.

“Wait here a second.”

You leave him at the door. He shifts his balance and sighs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He still had to walk back to the Tower. Maybe he could grab a slice of pizza along the way since he skipped lunch.

“Okay, here.” You return with a large glass of water. He only looks at it. “It’s just water, I promise. You look like you ran a marathon."

He takes it from you sceptically, pushing away the urge to sniff at it. It’s gone within a few gulps.

You wait until he’s finished to point at his arm. He draws his eyebrows together, but you only curl your index finger and beckon for him to give you his hand.

He reluctantly extends it towards you.

“Don’t laugh,” you warn him, taking his metal arm. “This usually helps me.”

You tie a small bracelet around his wrist. It has a few beads, which he realises represent the colours of the solar system.

“Keep that for good luck.” You pat it gently after securing it. “I think you just had a bad day; those don’t last very long. Do you want to charge your phone before you leave?”

“Uh-” The bracelet’s pretty, the colours shine against the dark vibranium. “-no, I’m good. I’ll just leave.”

“Okay. Anything else I can help you with or will you be fine?”

He narrows his eyes. “You’re being suspiciously nice.”

“I’m not evil all the time.” You huff. “My hours are in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he says again. “I’m gonna go then.”

“See you next week.” You give him a little wave. “I’d say break a leg on your mission but knowing your situation...”

He scoffs. “Thanks.”

You make a move to close the door when starts walking down the hallway towards the exit.

He adjusts the beads slightly so he can see them better. The Earth one has glitter in it. He thinks it’s cute.

“Bucky.”

He turns around.

There’s a hint of a smile on your face.

“Take the stairs.”

He doesn’t have to be told twice.

Next part

[nebulousfishgills]

Our Reality

("In Reality," Part 2)

Request by @cuddleluv : can you PLSSSSSS make a part 2 to the “in reality” ff 😩 I’ve got idea for it too! so y/n moves on and yk gets a new lover (you could choose who lol) and Wanda realizes what she lost after she sees y/n with her new lover and tries to get her back but y/n rejects her because her new lover respects and loves her

Ahhhh I'm so glad part one was so well received! Apologies for not getting this out sooner, I've been just so busy and, being honest, was seriously debating whether or not to actually create a second part. But I've gotten a few requests for it, a new experience for me. So here you go! ❤

I chose your new partner to be Natasha because why not?

Warnings: Angst, feels, swearing, Natasha x Reader (just in case you don't vibe with that) fluff (from Natasha), like, one very brief mention of sexual ideas

ฯฯฯ

"Tasha, did something burn in here?" You asked, entering the kitchen with a wrinkled nose. Natasha's face poked out from the faint smoke coming from the oven, her hand fanning it away.

"Well, it was supposed to be cookies for your birthday, but I guess that's not happening." She said, her cheeks turning a little pink. You felt heat bloom in your chest at the sweet gesture. Your face broke out into a grin.

"Aww, Tasha, you didn't have to do that!" You said.

"I almost wish I hadn't; it smells awful in here." Nat replied sheepishly.

"Well, at least you tried. That's more than enough."

Your mind wandered back to the events of a few months ago and your nasty breakup with Wanda at your word choice. She hadn't even tried to make an effort with you. You were just some disposable girlfriend to her. Something to distract her.

For weeks you had wallowed in self pity before deciding to get yourself back out there again. Slowly, sure. And you certainly weren't going to prey on a down on their luck possible partner for food and fucks. You were bigger than Wanda in that sense, at least.

After yet another failed date, you were walking home with your heels in your hands and dirt on your feet. You could keep your head held high and look around more.

Someone grabbed for your bag and started running off with it. You screamed after them, calling for someone to help. You were running out of breath not long after, ready to say goodbye to your possessions when the thief was suddenly knocked down. A woman with bright red hair had punched him in the face and sent him to the ground with a roundhouse kick. You approached her as she picked up the bag.

"Is this yours?" She queried.

"Y-yes. Thank you." You replied.

"No problem. But..."

"But?"

"Well, I saved your purse. So it's only fair we get coffee later." The redhead smirked at you. "Unless you would rather not."

"No, of course. It's the least I can do...?"

"Natasha."

"Natasha." You repeated. "The coffee place around the corner from here? Tomorrow at 9?"

"Sounds like a date."

And that's how you had met Natasha. Part of you had been worried remembering how you had first met Wanda after a bad morning. Well, having a bad evening could mean something different, you had figured. Sure enough, you and Nat had met for coffee and hit it off almost immediately. Now you both had a quaint little apartment together and you honestly hadn't ever felt happier.

Well, maybe you had been when you were still with Wanda, but those memories had soured knowing what she had really thought of you.

"Well, the cookies are a bust. How about we go to the cupcake place down the street and grab a few?" Nat suggested.

"That's the best alternative you could have suggested, Tasha. I'll grab my things."

"Okay, but I'm buying. It's still your birthday."

"If you insist."

***

"How about six lemon and six (your favorite cupcake flavor)?" You said.

"Sure thing. The order should be ready in a few minutes." The cashier said, jotting down the order and delivering the ticket to the back as Nat handed over the cash for the dozen cakes.

"I'm gonna go use the restroom, (Y/N). You can wait outside and I'll grab the cakes when I finish." Nat said, kissing your forehead.

"Okay."

The little bell dinged a few times as you exited the store, taking in the fresh air. The thought of the cupcakes made your stomach rumble the more moments passed. You pulled out your phone to distract yourself while you waited.

"(Y/N)?" A voice said from your left. You looked up at the direction of the voice and your breath immediately hitched.

Wanda.

"Oh. Hello, Wanda." You said curtly, returning your gaze to your screen.

"How... are you doing?" Wanda asked you.

"Like you care." You mumbled. Wanda didn't hear the comment, standing in silence for a moment.

"Okay, (Y/N), I have the cupcakes." Nat said, coming out of the store with a lavender box in her hand.

"Thanks, Tasha." You said, pecking her lips. Maybe this was petty; Nat wasn't big on PDA, but Wanda was standing right there and... it was too good to pass up.

"You're... Dating Nat?" Wanda asked.

"Yes. And?"

"...nothing, I guess."

"Exactly."

Wanda seemed to notice the box in Nat's hand (the redhead analyzing the conversation carefully so she could pull you away if need be), reading the label on the lid.

"Oh? What's the occasion?" Wanda asked, testing the waters. You inhaled sharply, turning on your heel to face Wanda.

"I would have been more surprised if you had actually remembered my birthday, all things considered. It's not like you cared anyways.

"(Y/N), wait--"

"February 16th, Wanda. That's the day you were born. That's right, I actually put in an effort to remember." You snapped.

"I... I... Y/N, listen, I--"

"Oh, here it comes. Wanda's Pity Party. Well, go ahead. Say what you have to." You folded your arms and stared at Wanda like a mad bull. The brunette bit her lip and rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly.

"I... look, I realize that I was being wildly insensitive and I should never have strung you along like that. I understand that and I deeply apologize. I was hoping that we might be able to move past this and... maybe be friends?" She said quietly. At this, you had to laugh.

"Friends? It's gonna take a lot more than that to even get close to friends, Wanda." You said haugtily. Then, you finally sighed. "I appreciate at least a small apology, though. But I don't ever see myself forgiving you."

"Y/N--" Wanda reached her hand out, but you batted it away.

"If you ever try to touch me again, I swear to God I'll--"

"Y/N, sweetheart, I think we should go." Natasha intervened before things could get worse. You glared at Wanda before walking back over to Nat and allowing her to place an arm around your shoulders. You glanced back at Wanda when you both started walking away. She looked crestfallen standing in the middle of the sidewalk. As much as you wanted to feel bad for her, you couldn't. Choosing to put on a brave face while you wiped your tears, you pulled out one of the cupcakes from the box in Nat's hand.

It was still your birthday after all. You would at least try to make it a good one.

ฯฯฯ

Hope you enjoyed this, cuddleluv (and everyone else who had been asking about it)!

As always, requests are open, so send them in!

[tenkoscumslut]

Alpha Bakugou x Reader

- So Bakugou is 18+, he has is own agency and he’s currently the number 1 hero, he does have injuries from the recent chapters, and i’m assuming Izuku probably either retired bc his arms are never going to be fixed, or he’s lying in the lower ranks for the rest of his life purposefully.

So how does alpha Bakugou court you?!?!!

- He doesn’t like omegas

- or betas

- or alphas

- he hates everyone

- so one day he just stopped at his favorite book store

- bc mans likes to read

- the reason why he loves the library

- is bc 

- he will never admit this

- he thinks your adorable

- he doesn’t want a mate

- and then you exist

- like he wants to be around you 24/7

- at first he didn’t care about you

- he thought you were hot

- and that was it

- but when a man thought he could rub you through your panties

- then you caught his eye

- you roundhoused his face

- he fell to the ground

- like rly he knew he wanted to be around you

- so he started buying 2 books

- and would give you the other book

- it was him courting you behind his own back

- he didn’t realize his alpha was trying to court you

- but you accepted it

- “Thank you Mr. Dynamite”, you would thank him every day(i can't with his hero name)

- your voice would send his mind into a frenzy

- then he went to a cafe

- and he saw you working as a bartender there

- he stared at you secretly the entire time

- he thought about approaching you

- know he wanted to protect you

- someone was looking up your skirt

- you didn’t notice

- so you kept on working

- then he grabbed your clothed sex roughly

- your head snapped around

- that look in your eyes

- he could sense his rut coming in early

- you literally punched him and knocked at least 5 teeth out

- that’s how he knew you were the one

- but he had to run home bc he was going in a rut

- he kept jerking off to you

- your lips

- your smile

- your voice

- what would you look like underneath him

- what would your lips look like wrapped around his cock

- what your moans would sound

- he was obsessed with you

- and not even in a sexual way

- everywhere he went he could only see you

- it was starting to tick him off

- so he was in front of you

- “Hey, idiot, do you want to go get a coffee with me later?”, he asked

- you tilted your head

- your cheeks were flared up in embarrassment

- he could smell it

- it was just to intoxicating

- “u-um sure, I get out at 5″, you replied sweetly

- inside you were just screaming out in joy

- you always had a small crush on the pro hero

- and know he was inviting you out to talk

- he left

- then at 5 you met him outside the library

- he wore something a bit more formal the the usual sweatpants and sweatshirt

- he had a nice shirt and some jeans

- you both walked to a different coffee shop

- bc he was worried you would know that he knows that you work at that coffee shop

- you guys talk for a few hours

- your surprised he hasn’t shouted once

- in fact

- (he wasn't smiling) but you could sense he was very happy

- he ended up walking you home

- “it’s part of my job you get home safe”, he did not phrase that correctly

- you scowled

- “Your job has nothing to do with me”, you snapped

- he was sad that you snapped at him

- so he did the one thing nobody would ever expect him to

- he apologized

- “Ah, sorry I phrased that wrong, I meant it’s my duty as a hero to make sure you are safe and comfortable”

- on the inside he was screaming

- though he hid that

- the next day he got you a muffin and a book

- now it was regular for you two to go get a coffee at the coffee shop

- he was ecstatic 24/7

- he would go through ruts 1 a month now that he was closer to you

- and one night you 2 were walking to the coffee shop (it’s like 2 miles away btw)

- you guys stumbled past a drunk alpha

- when he saw you

- he was all over you

- groping you

- his knee was grinding against your pussy

- his stanky breath fanning over your marking spot

- Bakugou tried to stop him

- but you already had him pinned to the floor with blood seeping out of his mouth, and you were growling ferally

- and that was the first time he heard you growl

- he was in heaven

- like rly

- he loved ur growl

- it was so dominating and just TURNED HIM ON

- he arrested the man

- and made sure he was locked up for harassing his mate

- but you don’t know that yet

- and one day

- you let him in his house

- he was excited

- you lived alone

- and he got to see your nest

- when he came inside

- he was confined to the living room

- like every time he tried to explore

- you bared your teeth softly in a warning for him to stay

- you weren’t use to people being in your house

- and to be honest you kinda liked the power you had over the top pro hero in Japan

- he was wrapped around your finger

- he was slightly disappointed he could explore

- but he respected your boundaries

- so he sat at the couch and just took everything in

- you appeared with 2 cups of tea

- you continued to talk

- he was happy that he was engulfed in your scent

- but he wanted to make it smell like him

- but he knew you’d probably kick him in the balls and kick him out forever

- he sat in the same spot for hours

- but you were wrestles

- constantly fidgeting

- you were slightly distressed an alpha was in your house at 2 in the morning

- he noticed you were beginning to become overwhelmed with his presence.

- but he was happy no less

- “I’ll so you tomorrow L/N-san”, he purred before excusing himself of your house

- you locked the door behind him

- you didn’t notice but your heart was racing at a thousand miles per hour

- your cheeks were flushed red

- you picked yourself off and walked to the couch

- his scent lingered on the pillow he was resting beside

- a smile creeped to your lips

- you picked the pillow up and snuggled with it all night

- somehow it made you feel like he was sleeping beside you

- the actual thought of sleeping next to him had her squirming uncomfortably

- so the next day you were working at the library again

- you were on a ladder sorting out the books

- “Nice view”, someone underneath you commented

- you scowled and hit the man in the face with your foot

- “Get out”, you hissed

- he left

- then the front door opened

- you climbed down from the ladder and peered around the corner

- Bakugou was there

- he had dark circles under his eyes

- but he was still happy to see u

- he won’t tell u but he jacked off to you again

- again

- as in this is at least the 10th time he’s jacked off just to you

- you smiled softly

- “Helly Mr. Dynamite”, you greeted him

- “Hello L/N-san”

- today he invited you to the park with him

- you agreed hesitently

- you were socially awkward

- I mean yesterday was the first time someone was in your house

- so when you were at the park

- like you were in awe

- you especially likes the lake

- it was closed off to the public for cleaning

- you couldn’t stop gazing into the clear water

- it was so pretty

- just gorgeus

- and then the tree’s

- you had never really admired their beauty

- but here

- the pink blossoms fell from the trees

- and a single one landed on your palm

- it was amazing

- “Can we come to the park tomorrow?”, you asked turning your head around to slightly look at him

- he was smirking

- “Whatever you want L/N-san”.

- you turned around 

- “you call me F/N if you want you know”, you pointed out

- he was flustered at how direct you were

- “i-in that case, whatever you want F/N-chan”.

- you smiled brightly

- he took you to a pond

- baby ducks were swimming in the water

- a little one came swimming over to you

- you reached out

- it clambered onto your hand

- water dripped onto your hand

- you cupped the baby duck perfectly

- a purr emitting from deep into your chest

- you looked so beautiful like this

- Bakugou couldn’t help but smile and sneak a quick photo of you

- Bakugou got you an ice cream

- then you invited him back inside you house to warm up from the cold

- this time you didn’t bare your teeth when he peered around the corner to the kitchen

- you didn’t bare your teeth when he walked in the kitchen

- he turned the corner to try and enter your room

- then he could hear a soft growl come from you

- he then passed your door and the growl stopped

- you started to cook dinner

- just a simple recipe your mother taught you

- it was just rice and chicken

- like it was really simple

- but it made anyone’s mouth water with the taste and smell

- he started to explore every inch except for your room

- his nose knuding into your coat

- he could smell your scent

- this was the strongest he’s ever smelt it

- his eyes rolled back into his head

- you smelled so sweet

- he quickly moved on so he wouldn’t appear suspicious

- he looked to see another room

- you couldn’t see him

- you had a beautiful house

- your house was big

- there was a patie in the middle of your house

- a huge shrine was in the middle of it

- there were lit candles

- he opened the door

- and saw a picture of a little boy with black hair and green eyes

- it looked like he had passed away

- he kept exploring 

- there wasn’t much after that

- just a few extra rooms

- an office

- really not much

- he went back into the living room

- you had finished making dinner

- “Do you want to eat here?”, you asked him

- “That would be amazing”, he replied

- you smiled and prepared 2 plates

- you both ate at the kitchen table

- he loved it

- like it was the first time he's had a home made meal

- since his mom just got pre made shit

- and he doesn’t know how to cook well

- so this was amazing

- in just a few seconds his plate was empty

- so him eating at your house became a thing

- he would walk you home

- you would cook dinner

- he’d probably sniff at everything

- he’d growl at your cat

- bc he doesn’t like you cat at all

- he has been trying to take you out on a date tho

- like he came up to you and asked if you wanted to spend an evening with him

- you declined

- he’s been trying for at least a month now

- you keep saying no

- he wasn’t even asking you directly

- like youd didn’t want to spend any time with him at all

- so he got angry

- stormed up to you in the library

- “You. me. dinner tonight, and you can’t say no”, then he stormed off

- you were in shock

- like he asked you out to dinner

- you were worried at first he would have an extravagant evening planned if you said yes

- and tbh you just wanted to go eat dinner at a restaurant with him

- you wore a red dress and black heels

- like you *italian kisses the air*

- that night he took you to a fancy restaurant

- and you two had a great time

- it was amazing

- he walked you home

- and when you walked inside

- he followed you

- and you didn’t know that

- so when someone spun you around

- and kissed your lips softly

- you were completely shocked.

- he left after that

- you were up all night thinking about him

- the next day you saw him at the library again

- and you were beyond flustered

 - you were a blushing mess

- he smirked and walked up to you

- “WHat did you think of last night?”, he asked cooly

- you could face him like thats how embarrassed you were

- “I-I l-like t-the food, i-it was very n-nice”, you stuttered and looked away

- “Thats not what i was asking about”, he purred

- “What did you think of the kiss?”

- you could’ve died right there

- you just froze

- y/n.exe has stopped working

- He chuckled and shook his head

- “I think you liked it, so know that I know you did, I wanted to ask you something”, he chuckled and grabbed your hand and led you to the storage room

WARNING NSFW UP AHEAD

- he brought you to the storage room

- locked the door

- and pressed himself flush against you

- so you could feel his hot breath on your neck

- “Ever since I saw you”, he mumbled softly

- “I knew you were my omega”

- he started to kiss your neck softly 

- “You looked so hot when you beat those men up”

- he kissed your collar bone softly

- you knew he intended to go lower

- and you were OK with it

- it might seem rushed in others eyes

- but to you and him, it didn’t

- I mean, it took him 3 months to get you on a date with him, and it took 1 month of convincing 

- he looked up at you

- “Can i?”, he asked softly

- you were to shy to actually form an answer

- you just nodded your head

- he quickly took your shirt off leaving you in a skirt and bra

- he stared at your body with love

- you were so beautiful

- he kissed your cleavage before going behind your bra and just ripping it off

- your breasts bounced when they were released from their condiments

- you naturally covered up your chest from his eyes

- the audacity

- he was mad

- why would you be shy of him?

- Why wouldn’t you show him your body?

- like he was legit pissed

- he grabbed your hands and pressed them to your sides

- and he quickly latched onto your hardened nub and started to suckle harshly

- you bit your lip to hold back moans

- his other hand massaged the other breast

- he loved your taste

- and how your body slightly jerked everytime he rolled his fingers over the sensitive flesh

- he started to kiss your breast

- and slowly made his was down your stomach

- kissing at your flesh softly

- his fingers hooked around your skirt

- he slowly took it off 

- and know you were only in your panties

- which were soaked btw

- he slowly took your panties off and stared at your exposed heat

- you looked away shyly

- he started to kiss your lower lips

- he discarded his pants and boxers so he was only in a loose shirt

- he quickly picked you up and pressed you gently against the wall

- your wrapped your legs around his waist

- he faqed u in a storage room

- then he marked you

- and you two bonded for life

[trifle-of-doom]

The Hawk X Demetri Manifesto

Okay, here is the thing. Despite being well past my teens, there's a particular ship of Cobra Kai that has drawn my attention, this ship being Hawk/Eli x Demetri. When I first watched the show, I was actually more invested in the adult characters storylines than the teens. I immediately rooted for Johnny and Carmen, and I was always hoping for more interactions between them. But then I saw episode 2x05, in which the atmosphere between the Binary Brothers becomes way more dense, and that's when I started to see some potential for them. Not because I'm a deranged person who fosters abusive relationships, but because I immediately caught the hurt/comfort dynamic of the duo, which is something that works really well when it comes to fictional relationships. However, it wasn't until 3x10 that I said, "Ok, that's official, I need to see more of these two! I totally support them!" And I was quite surprised to find a fairly large amount of people who are very committed to this pairing, to the point it's caught the attention of the screenwriters/producers as well. Honestly, I don't know if the showrunners will ever have the guts to make them an official couple, and chances are their supporters will have to keep reading between the lines of their bromance, but in any case, here is my take on why Hawk/Eli x Demetri is an option worth to be considered.

#1 - The Bromance

If there's something that many years of navigating the Internet taught me, is that the main driving factor for fan-made ships is the presence of either a solid relationship based on mutual brotherly love or a bitter rivalry that may or may not flow into hate/obsession. If you consider anime fandoms, there are thousand examples that fit into either of these categories: Yugi and Jonouchi from the Yu-Gi-Oh series (yes, that's how old I am), Yugi and Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh, Sakuragi and Rukawa from Slam Dunk, Light and L from Death Note, etc. And our Hawk and Demetri fit into both categories. When we first see them, they are the stereotypical nerdy friends (possibly childhood friends?) sitting at the losers' table, who have no one else but each other. When Eli is at his most sensitive and fragile, you can tell he feels comfortable being with Demetri by the genuine smile he has on his face as Demetri is joking with Miguel at the canteen table. Through his sarcasm, the mouthy kid acts as a catalyst to deviate the attention from Eli, speaking for him, reprimanding Johnny when he makes fun of his lip and trying to make him feel safe. Besides, you can see a certain degree of frustration in Demetri when Kyler and his gang are harassing Eli, and he's unable to do anything to defend him. And they even have a jingle for their friendship with a robot dance, I mean, how cute is that? But of course, a solid friendship between two helpless nerdy guys is not enough to spark a ship to be rooting for. In order for the magic to happen, another key ingredient is needed, i.e. a little bit of angst. Which brings us straight to the next point.

#2 - The Angst (aka the Hurt/Comfort Dynamic)

Even though I never liked the Twilight saga or any similar urban fantasy young adult works, I can easily see where the appeal comes from; the attraction to a charming, dangerous person who could either protect you from any harm or crush you like grape. Although with different franchises, I wasn't immune to the bad boy trope either (Yes, I'm looking at you, my teenage self drooling over Grimmjow from Bleach). If we can appreciate the genuine, brotherly friendship between nerdy Eli and Demetri, the shift that Eli makes as he transitions into Hawk and becomes more aggressive and dominant gives their relationship a totally different flavor. Attrition sparks a certain tension that, in the viewer's eyes, could either flow into a brawl or into passion.

During the mall fight, Demetri comes to the realization that his former best friend is actually someone who can crush him like grape. We see Hawk intentionally harming him for the first time, and Demetri's heartbreaking expression as he drops the line: "You'd actually hurt me?" And if that line gave us a pang in our hearts when we first watched Season 2, imagine rewatching it now that we know what happens in Season 3. Demetri is chased down the mall, running for his life, and then he's locked in a grip, as his best friend menacingly advances towards him. Demetri appears as the damsel in distress, however his friend is not the one who will fight to protect him, but rather his tormentor.

During the party at Moon's, Demetri manages to briefly go through Hawk's mask and reach out to Eli, thanks to a casual conversation about Dr Who. But then the beer incident happens, and Demetri defends himself with the only weapon he has – his loudmouth. The situation is reversed, and for a brief moment, he gets to be the dominant one as he discloses all Eli's most intimate secrets. Demetri is now actively contributing to the Hurt/Comfort dynamic; he's no longer just a target, but he's doing his part to enlarge that gaping hole that has formed between them. And Hawk didn't take it well.

From this moment on, Demetri becomes a sort of obsession to Hawk, who hunts him down the school, teasing him and taunting him sadistically, like a serial killer from a horror movie, during the big fight. Of course, in real life, this would be completely insane, and the police/a social assistant/psychiatrist should be called, but in ShipLand, these situations are pure gold. Okay, we get it, Hawk wants to get revenge for the humiliation at the party, and he wants to crush that nerd part of himself he sees in Demetri, but he does it with such an intensity that it borders on ridiculous. It's like this is his twisted way to acknowledge Demetri's presence. Eventually, Hawk ends up smashed into the trophy case, and I confess I felt a little disappointed when Demetri broke that hug to give Hawk a roundhouse kick. I mean, it was a great comeback, but I was sincerely hoping for a "No hard feelings man, let's get outta here!" scenario.

Getting back to the sick and twisted way Hawk acknowledges Demetri's presence, he destroys his science project after he got jealous due to him being confident in his nerd self and laughing around with his ex girlfriend (whom the writers insist he still has a crush on). Speaking of Moon, I have a feeling she likes Hawk mostly based on his badass appearance. Remember when she goes "I like this (mohawk) and I love these (muscles), but I'm not dating a bully"?

Then the football match happens. Okay, let's break this down. Demetri trips Hawk and acts all sassy, and a fellow Cobra Kai is immediately ready to take him down, but Hawk stops him. "Fight smart, he says". Too bad that literally 5 seconds earlier he had shoved a kid to the ground just because his ex girlfriend (again, duuuh~) ignored him when he winked at her. And then, as he's trying to intercept the ball, BANG, Hawk hits Demetri, sending him to the ground, pretending it was an accident. So, what does this tell us? That Hawk has some serious anger management issues? Yeah sure, but also that he cares about fighting smart only as long as it serves as an excuse to leave Demetri for him, because he's his designated target. Again, this is all but romantic, and it doesn't necessarily have to be interpreted as him lusting after his friend, but it's undeniable that this dynamic offers a lot of ship fuel.

The arm breaking thing is just too painful to even analyze. We see a completely helpless Demetri begging for mercy to his ex best friend, who has made No Mercy his life motto. And that scream, oh that scream. All I wanted to see was Hawk realizing what he had done and throwing himself on his knees while begging for forgiveness. But I'm glad that at least we get to see he feels awful for what he's done, and I like to think that, as he got home, Eli cried out all the tears he had in his body thinking about poor Demetri at the hospital, with a swollen broken arm, all because of him. Of all the situations, this is undoubtedly the most deranged and extreme, and if something like this happened in real life, the wrongdoer would deserve to be punished and would definitely need to be sent to therapy. But in ShipLand, this opens the road to many, many different scenarios, in which the bully understands his mistakes and shifts back to the good side, or the two share a tender moment after they reconcile, or the traumatized character has to to learn to trust the other one again, or the bully becomes overprotective of his former victim, etc.

#3 - A Rewarding Reconciliation

Finally, we come to the reconciliation, in which Hawk makes his heel-to-face turn. While we've seen him torn with doubt for an entire season about his sensei's teachings, his actions and the people he wants to surround himself with, the key factor that drives Hawk's redemption is the sight of his best friend being held down for him to beat. And with an epic stunt and his awesome KEEEH screech, Hawk jumps to the rescue of his friend. Like many of us, Demetri thought this was still part of the "Only I Can Torment Him" dynamic I discussed earlier, as he steps backwards a little concerned, but then he understands that action was actually meant to save him, and the two begin to fight side by side, in sync, watching each other's back. You can see Demetri's eyes sparkling at the thought of having his friend back.

Also, not only Demetri stands up to alpha bitch Tory in defense of Eli, but he also speaks for his friend when he's faltering, just like he used to. So kudos for Demetri.

#4 - The Red Oni, Blue Oni Dynamic

Binary Brothers are two sides of the same coin and complete each other with opposite character traits, visually expressed by the color red and the color blue. Being the color red typically associated with violence, rage, passion and irrationality, as opposed to blue, which is associated with calmness, melancholy and rationality, red is clearly the dominant color. Again, this opens many interesting scenarios for shippers.

#5 - Body Language

Besides the situations I described above, which may or may not be read from a romantic/attraction standpoint, there are also a collection of small gestures I noticed when rewatching the series with a more attentive look on their relationship.

- Demetri's heart-broken expression when Eli shamefully covers his lip during the anti-bullying announcement.

- The smile Demetri gives when Hawk responds "Hell yeah!" after Aisha proposes to crash Yasmin's party, implying he's learning to embrace this new wild side of his best friend

- The astonished look with which Demetri watches Hawk at the tournament and the way he's pissed no one knows his real name.

- How deeply hurt Demetri is when Hawk belittles him by saying: "Five against three. More like two and a half." He even tries to reply, but he's caught so off guard that words die in his throat.

- How Demetri takes a step towards Hawk during the mall fight, before Sam makes him back off, and how sadly he looks at Hawk's nearly unconscious body after Robby defeated him.

- How Demetri smiles and nods when he briefly connects with Eli at Moon's party, despite the mall incident.

- How Hawk watches Demetri juggle with the cleaning product from behind his bike helmet (how did he stuff the mohawk in there by the way)?

- Hawk's psychotic/sadistic faces when he smells Demetri's blood, and how he likes to hunt him down like he's his prey.

- Hawk's secret impulse to comfort Demetri after the arm breaking (I hope you get nightmares of Demetri's howl of pain for the rest of your life, Hawk).

- The way Hawk twitches his upper lip when he sees his friend Demetri in danger.

- How Hawk and Demetri are so absorbed in their new-found friendship, that they're caught off guard, and Demetri swings Hawk to allow him to deliver a kick using their handshake as a lever. And how they keep fighting together, shaking each other's hands even when they're out of focus and the attention is on Miguel vs. Kyler.

- How they're standing so close at Miyagi Do, in comparison with the other Red/Blue partners.

In conclusion, this kind of relationships are engaging and entertaining to watch, and they make us wish the best for the characters. They make us hope that, in the end, as Miguel puts it, love really conquers all (and what is friendship if not a form of love?), despite all the hurt they did to each other.

So this is it. I hope you enjoyed my Ted Talk. Feel free to share it with whomever you want, especially if you need some solid reasons why this ship has got some good potential.

And remember: the ship is in the eye of the beholder.

F.

[koyacyi-vode]

@phantom-of-the-keurig asked for 4 headcanons of Cody but I'm STUPID and deleted the ask by accident so here it is as a post.

---

Headcanon A - realistic:

Off the battlefield, Cody is quiet and rather softspoken compared to many of his brothers. He prefers to observe people and doesn't mind silence for the most part. Cody's incredibly perceptive and analytical and will remember small details from the tiniest interactions (whether he uses it to do something nice like requisition Obi-Wan's favorite tea from Naboo or being a mischievous little shit and teasing his brothers for their embarrassing cadet mishaps is up to how he's feeling that day on the bastard-scale). 

Cody's most relaxed when he can sit down and work through paperwork with Obi-Wan in companionable silence over tea and caff in the late hours of the rotation, when he doesn't have to be Marshal Commander Cody or his brothers' vod'alor for a few hours.

Headcanon B - while it may not be realistic it is hilarious:

Cody is not a morning person. He's barely recognizable until he's had about 3 cups of caff. Waxer was traumatized when he accidentally asked Cody a question before Cody had his first cup. He told Boil with a haunted expression that the look on Cody's face was "unspeakable". 

Headcanon C - heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends:

Being a Marshal Commander, there's a tangible distance between Cody and the rest of his brothers. He holds the highest rank a clone can hold in the GAR, there's only three other Marshal Commanders we know of - Bacara, Neyo, and Bly. That title comes with a helluva lot of authority, commanding ~39,000 men (according to the GAR wiki page, or a lot more if you consider other meta). It also comes with a lot of paperwork. 

By paperwork, I mean that Cody has to fill out thousands of casualty reports. Men he knew personally, men he didn't know at all. Cody has to fill them out and date them. His memory is good, he has a tally in his head, he knows exactly how many men have died under his command. 

He copes by just, keeping his distance, emotionally and physically. He knows his men by name and everything about them tactically and he cares deeply for them. But he can't really participate in the shenanigans and antics that his brothers get up to. If he gets too close, it hurts too much and is too unbearable when they eventually are killed. 

It makes Cody appear as hardened and unreadable, but he's a Marshal Commander! He's amazing! His men worship him, honestly and Cody wants nothing more than to keep them alive through each campaign, even though he knows that's impossible and he knows they were designed to die for the Republic. He keeps his distance to keep himself clear-headed, to keep him focused on the big picture of completing the mission with the fewest casualties possible. 

And there's a palpable loneliness to never getting close to anyone. And Cody is not immune to it. But he hides it under layers and layers of duty and responsibility and 'just don't have the time'. Sometimes brothers weasel their way past the shields he puts up over his heart. Rex was the first outside of his batchmates that got close, and Cody's deepest fear is that he will have to one day put CT-7567 on a casualty report. He knows that his closeness is a weakness and will make him impulsive and reckless if they are in danger. 

But the longer troopers stay in the 212th the more likely it is for them to close the gap of distance. It's why Waxer's death on Umbara probably hit Cody incredibly hard. Waxer and Boil are some of the 212ths most senior troopers. Waxer, who Cody knows is kind and gentle and loves kids. Waxer who was killed by friendly-fire on the traitorous orders of Pong Krell that Cody probably had to relay to him, not knowing what Waxer's platoon was walking into. 

In the aftermath of Umbara, Rex brings Waxer's helmet to Cody. They both sit in silence with the helmet between them, unable to say anything at all. And it's the first time Cody really, really thinks: what is the point of all of this?

But he still fills out his paperwork and adds Waxer's number to the casualty report for Umbara, and does his duty to the utmost perfection, as he always has. 

Headcanon D - unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own:

The reason that Cody chose not to wear a kama, despite it being standard kit for his rank and from ARC training, is that it impeded with his ability to kick the shit out of things. When his go-to tactic for unarmed combat is a roundhouse kick to the face, a kama would only slow down his momentum.

On the topic of Cody kicking the shit out of things (I saw the term foot-to-face combat for Cody and never looked back), Cody's got thighs that could kill a man. He can crush watermelons with those babies. Cody's. Got. The BEEF.

[excitedlysuffering]

Not sure how I feel about some of these. Probably cuz it’s 2 am. I should sleep... (disclaimer: I don’t own any characters from Naruto even if they own me!)

He Asks You Out

Naruto~

Three months had gone by and you and Naruto had quickly become best friends. He introduced and integrated you into his friend group and showed you around Konoha, and you kept him company and helped eat food other than ramen.

You spent a lot of your time at the blondes house, either just hanging out or making sure he didn’t starve or drink spoiled milk. Now was one of those times.

“Naruto, you had ramen for breakfast already! I’m not making any more!” He groaned, following you into the kitchen. “Then I’ll make it! It’ll only take five minutes!” You exhaled slowly. “Naru, you can’t live on ramen, it’s not healthy. I’m going to make you a balanced meal. You’ll love it okay?” He sighed. “Fineeee.”

You smiled. “Great! Would you make the tea real quick?” He gave you a mini salute already back to his chipper self. “So, what should do we do once dinner is ready?” Naruto asked you. A smirk appeared on your face. “Well, there’s this thing called face masks. They’re super relaxing and I just happen to have two on me!”

He gave you a sideways look. “What do they do?” You clapped gleefully. “It’s like a paste that you apply on your face, it feels really good. It also helps your skin!” He laughed. “Sasuke will be so jealous when my skin is better than his, believe it!” You laughed, agreeing.

Dinner was Yaki Udon, a simple meal with stir-fried noodles and beef, but it was one of your favorite things to make and you’d added a few things to it. “(Y/N), this is amazing! Almost as good as ramen, believe it!” Although it sounded like a backhanded compliment, you knew just how strongly Naruto felt about ramen. This was high praise.

“I’m glad you like it, Naruto! Now hurry so we can do face masks!” He pursed his lips, finishing his bowl. “What color are they?” You giggled at his skepticism. “They’re both pink.”

Naruto pouted the whole time. From the time you’d brought out the jar, to the first time it touched his face. “Oh, c’mon! Pink is a manly color, Naru!” He scowled. “I’ve never seen Sasuke wear it.” He muttered. I dawned a smug expression. “That just proves you’re manlier than him!” The blonde was silent, much to your confusion.

“What’s wrong?” Naruto flushed, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “I was just thinking… how you always support me and take care of me. You keep me company even when I’m being an idiot… I really like you, (Y/N). C-can I take you out? Like on a date?”

Your hand fell away from his face. You had begun to catch feelings for your best friend, but you didn’t think he’d return them. You were practically on cloud nine!

“Naruto… that’d be amazing!” His expression was pure joy, no doubt reflecting yours. “But on one condition… you let me finish your mask!” “(Y/NN)!”

Sasuke~

You dodged a roundhouse kick to your temple by the skin of your teeth, grunting as you blocked a fist. You returned his attacks with a rapid flurry of punches, all being blocked, but that wasn’t your goal. You sent a spin kick towards him, but he caught your leg, tossing you away from him. You landed on your feet in a defensive position, panting slightly.

“Hn. You’re a bit slow today, are you okay, (Y/N)?” You scowled at Sasuke as he stood up from his stance. “I am not! I just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

He gave you a look and put his kunai in his pocket. “You should’ve just said that. I wouldn’t have asked to spar.” Your face screamed indignation. “I’m fine! A little tiredness never killed anybody!” He gave you a questioning glance as he sat down on the grass. “Actually, I’m sure it has. Especially in battle.” You groaned, crossing your arms. “Smart alec.”

He smirked, tossing you a water bottle. “You want to spar that bad?” You shrugged. “Usually I’d go for more talented opponents but I guess you’ll do for now.” He chuckled. “So that’s why you could hardly keep up with me?” You threw the water bottle at him, scowling when he caught it. “Just fight me, Uchiha.”

You and Sasuke had meeting up for weeks now to train together and sometimes just hang out. Playful banter was a constant between you two but at the end of the day, you guys knew it was all in jest. You had caught your thoughts drifting back to your conversations with him to know that you were beginning to fall for him, but you kept it under wraps, there was no way you were going to turn into Sakura and Ino.

But you didn’t have time to dwell on your blossoming feelings, Sasuke was already charging you, kunai in hand. You pulled out your twin katanas and parried his every attack. It was almost like a dance between you two; both of you light on your feet and dodging every attempt while counterattacking. It went on for a while before those four fateful words left Sasuke’s mouth.

“Go out with me.” You didn’t know what to think. Was he serious? Did he even mean a date?! “We’re in the middle of a fight and that’s what you’re thinking of?” I saw his lips curve upwards as he blocked my swords. “Tch. I’m serious, (Y/N). You’re different from other girls… I like you.” Sasuke blushed, but you were sure your face was showing shades of red no one had ever witnessed before. “If we don’t accidentally kill ourselves because we’re distracted, I’d love to.”

“Would that mean it’s a bad time to tell me you kinda stabbed me in the side?”

Neji~

“Where are we going exactly, (Y/N)?” You smiled at Neji as you pulled him along behind you. “I went to this great little cafe and their tea is to die for! I had to take you!” He snorted, clearly amused. “The tea?” You laughed. “You’re always drinking tea, I thought you could use a little a variety!” He chuckled as you both walked through the door.

“I’m going to use the restroom real quick, will you be okay?” I nodded but pointed to the menu. “What do you want?” He handed you a few yen, that you didn’t plan on using. “Surprise me, this is supposed to be for variety right?” Then he was gone around the corner.

You shrugged to yourself as you walked up to the counter. “Hello, how can I help you today?” You smiled, pulling out your own money. “Hi, can I get a Berry Blend Açai Tea, please? Oh, and two dangos, as well!” In no time you had paid and received the sugary treats. They would bring you and Neji your tea.

“Well, well, well, what’s a pretty lady like you doing all on your own?” A man appeared in front of you, causing you to stop in your tracks. You looked behind you, unsure of who he was talking to. “Yes, you, sweet cheeks.” You scowled. “I’m not alone, now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to sit down.” The man just laughed, not moving an inch. “Aw, don’t be like that. I don’t see anyone-”

You took a deep breath, but it didn’t work. You were still pissed. “Look, if you don’t move, I’ll be forced to move you.” He didn’t have a headband, so he wouldn’t be a challenge. He just stood there laughing at you. You set your dango on a nearby table, before kicking out his knee. When he bent down, yelling profanities, you grabbed his head and brought it down harshly onto your knee. He wouldn’t need his nose, right? “Why you little-!” You cut him off with a hand to his pressure point and he fell, unconscious before he hit the ground.

“(Y/N)?” By now you had a small audience, but you were only paying attention to Neji. “I was just coming over to tell him that I was with you… but it looks like you had everything under control. You laughed sheepishly. “Maybe we should get out things to go?”

Neji walked beside you, quietly sipping his tea, seemingly deep in thought. You knew it was best to let him think through whatever it was, so you ate your dango while you waited. “She really is perfect…” You heard him mumble to himself. You have him a strange look. “What?”

His cheeks were tinted pink, but he didn’t back down from your gaze. “I realized you were special from the moment I first met you, but… seeing you take that man down opened my eyes to how perfect you really are.”

Your heart fluttered at his words. Did Neji like you…? “I don’t want to lose you to anyone else, I was wondering if you’d like to… go out with me?” Your face broke out into a huge smile.

“Oh, Neji only you could see a girl fight someone twice her size and fall in love. Of course, I’ll go out with you.”

Shikamaru~

You and Shikamaru had agreed to meet up for lunch at a local sushi place for lunch at noon and you were so excited that you had ended up a little early. You didn’t mind though, you’d have a chance to survey the menu before you ordered.

However, you didn’t expect to see Shikamaru Lazy as Hell Nara already waiting on you. But what really shocked you was the cigarette dangling loosely from his lips. You walked up to him, hands in your pockets. “I didn’t know you smoked, Shika.” He took a long drag, a lazy smile playing at his lips.

“Do you want me to stop?” You shook your head as he blew out the smoke in the opposite direction of your face. “Nope. As you long as you know the dangers of smoking, I won’t mention it.” He smirked, throwing the topic of conversation down and squashing it with his heel. “No nagging?” I shook my head. “Doesn’t help. If you’re going to quit you need to do it for yourself, not cause someone bothered you about it.”

Shikamaru wrapped his arm around, in a rare show of affection, and led you inside. “You’re really something else, (Y/N).” You couldn’t help but eye the pack of cigarettes he clearly had in his pouch. You knew they were bad for you, but surely a few couldn’t hurt right?

“Tch, I’m not letting you smoke, so you can get rid of that idea.” Shika deadpanned. Your jaw dropped. “But I didn’t even say anything!” He just chuckled as you both took a seat at a booth back in the corner. “I know you, you were clearly staring at them and thinking about trying one.”

You groaned at how easy to read you were. Surely he was exaggerating and it was just a lucky guess. “Hello! I am to be your server today. What can I get you, sweetheart?” You gulped, more than a little uncomfortable with the way he was looking at you. “Oi! Are you serious? We’re clearly on a date! Stop eyeing her like a piece of meat and take our orders!” Shikamaru shouted, peeved. It was an unusual sight, you knew he was a laid back guy, he was more likely to brush things off.

“I apologize, I was ju-” Shikamaru held up a hand. “I’m not her keeper, apologize to her, she was clearly uncomfortable.” The waiter paled. “I’m really sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” You nodded once. “It’s okay…” Seemingly satisfied, Shikamaru grabbed your hand and dragged you out of the restaurant, obviously not caring for the service.

You couldn’t help but giggle at his annoyed expression. “So that was a date, Shika?” His face went from annoyed to embarrassed instantly, but he didn’t let that deter him. “I mean, it’d be a drag but I could ask you on a more official one.” You grinned, linking arms with him. “That’d be fabulous, but I’ll spare you the trouble, Mr. Lazy, and say that I’d be happy to go on a date with you.”

With a slight blush still adorning his cheeks, he moved his hand to wrap it around your waist. “Maybe you’re not as troublesome I thought.” You gave him a look. “Wanna bet?” He just sighed, but you didn’t miss his smile.

Kiba~

Shikamaru and Kiba had gone a few hours ago for a ‘boys night out’, leaving you alone with a plethora of movies and all the ice cream. Mr. and Mrs. Nara were already asleep and from their bedroom, you couldn’t hear the TV in Shika’s room. It was perfect.

You had decided on watching ‘The Boy In The Striped Pajamas’ after having heard it was good. It was a mistake. A huge mistake. You could handle movie horror, gore on missions, and real-life tragedy, but this was too much. The tale of two boys, oblivious to the horror show they lived in as they became friends, only to be killed in such a brutal fashion…

That’s how the boys found you, sobbing as you watched the kids enter the gas chamber. You felt like your heart was tearing apart. Maybe you shouldn’t have had so much coffee before. “Um… (Y/N), you okay there?” You turned to Kiba, sniffling. “No! They d-died!” Your wailing started back up again. Shikamaru groaned. “Troublesome woman, you know you’re not supposed to watch sad movies.” Kiba wrapped an arm around you. “Cut her some slack, Shikamaru. Everyone gets sad from time to time.”

Kiba gave you a small smile as he grabbed a tissue. “Here,” he gently wiped away your tears as he looked at the ice cream tub. “How much ice cream did you eat, (Y/N/N)?” You flushed. “More than I care to admit.” He laughed, throwing away the tissue. “Thank you, Kiba, I really appreciate you.” He gave you a grin and ruffled your hair.

“That’s what I’m here for. Now, let’s clean up the remainder of your sob fest.” You laughed tears forgotten, as you and Kiba cleaned up, while Shikamaru took out the movie from the DVD player. “Was the movie that bad?” Shikamaru asked skeptically.

“Yes. It was. You have to watch it sometime when I’m not around.” They both snickered. “We’ll have to just so we can see how dramatic you’re being.” I scoffed. “Sure, Kiba. But you’re going to eat your words when you start crying.” Shika sighed. “What a drag. You have a bad taste in movies.” I rolled my eyes. “Lies.”

Kiba crossed his arms. “If you let me take you out, I’d show you some good movies.” He mumbled under his breath. You did a double-take. “K-Kiba… what was that?” The rest of his cheeks matched his red stripes. “I said that if I could take you on a date, I’d show you a good movie.” A grin spread across your lips. “I think I’d like that… a lot.” Shikamaru looked between you two, alarmed.

“Wait, my two best friends?! I’ll always be a third wheel!”

Gaara~

You set down your book when you heard a soft rapping at your door. Puzzled at who it could be you walked to your door, opening it. You were pleasantly surprised to see Gaara standing on your front steps, a small smile adorning his face.

“Gaara! Come in, what are you doing here?” He stepped into your home, as you closed the door. “Well, I learned my first song and I wanted you to be the first to hear it.” You grinned following him to your piano.

“This is great! What is it?” He sat down beside you and flushed as he began. “The first thing I ever heard you play was the theme for Swan Lake, so I learned the finale to it…” His fingers danced as he played the song perfectly. It was the simplistic version, but you could tell he really practiced.

“Gaara, this is beautiful. You have a real talent for the piano.” His blush darkened as he finished. “Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you. Truthfully, when I asked you to teach me, I just wanted to spend more time with you, but then I really did enjoy playing.” Your flush matched his. “R-really?” He nodded, uncharacteristically nervous. “Yes, but now I… want to see you outside of these lessons.”

You placed a hand over his, both of you wearing matching smiles. “Like a… date?” He nodded, shyly. “Yes, like a date.” You wrapped him in a hug. “That sounds amazing, Gaara.” He hugged you back, his head resting on your shoulder. Your door slammed open, scaring you both so bad you both fell off the piano bench.

“YES! We’ve been waiting for this moment!” Kankuro and Temari stood in your doorway fists raised in victory. You and Gaara just stared, too shocked to even be embarrassed. “Were you guys eavesdropping?” He asked, clearly not thrilled. He stood up before lending me a hand.

“We couldn’t help it!” The siblings whine simultaneously. “You guys are just too cute together! After all our planning, we just had to know what happened!” Temari cooed. You just covered your face, trying to hide your red face, but you were secretly flattered that Gaara had actually taken the time to plan. “Guys! This was supposed to be a private moment!” Gaara gave them a look.

“You heard her, bye guys, see you later!” With that, he shoved them out of your living room, slamming the door. “At least they’re happy for us?” You suggested, giggling.

Kakashi~

“Don’t be so stubborn, Kakashi-sensei! How hard could it be? You guys are so close, this next step is natural!” Your eyebrows furrowed as you saw Sakura and Ino talking to Kakashi. They were actually getting along?! You pushed down your shock, opting to listen to their conversation from your hidden spot in the tree.

“It’s not that simple, guys. (Y/N) and I haven’t been friends for that long, I’m pretty sure she would turn me down.” You perked up at hearing your name. What were they talking about? “Oh, c’mon! We see the way you look at each other, it’s clear you both like each other!” Ino exclaimed. Your face instantly heated up. Were you that obvious and oblivious? Did he actually like you? That would be a dream come true!

“I don’t know about that… I think it’d be best to wait a little longer before I do that.” Sakura rolled her eyes at his hesitance. “Sensei! There’s nothing to asking someone out, it’s so simple!” Ino complained impatiently. Kakashi crossed his arms. “Oh, is it? Then why hasn’t Sasuke gone out with either of you?” You covered your mouth at the utter brutality, trying not to laugh.

Sakura and Ino screamed incoherently at how that was a totally different story. “Look, Kakashi-sensei,” Sakura exhaled, “we’re just trying to help you. You of all people deserve to be happy and it’s obvious she makes you happy!” You smiled, seeing how she cared for her sensei.

“Sakura is right, said no one ever,” Ino whispered, “how do you know she doesn’t like you if you never ask? But, she’s my sensei! I see the way she smiles more when you’re around. She blushes like a schoolgirl for goodness sake!” Said blush was creeping up your neck as they ruthlessly exposed you.

“I know you girls are right, but how am I supposed to ask her?” Sakura gave him a dubious look. “You’re the one always reading those smutty romances, shouldn’t you know?” A small giggle slipped through your lips. You watched Kakashi smirk suddenly and you swooned. Swooned?! You mentally shook yourself, trying to control your emotions.

“I don’t think asking her will be a problem since she’s been listening to this whole conversation. Come on out, (Y/N).” You were pretty sure your heart dropped down to your feet. You gracefully jumped down from your tree, blushing about fifty shades of red.

“Um, h-hey guys! What’s up?” All three of them gave you flat, unamused looks “C’mon (Y/N)-sensei! What’s your answer?” Ino begged. Kakashi placed a hand on her head. “How about you let me ask her, hm?” Her cheeks went red. “O-oh, right!”

His focus turned back to you. “I know you heard everything, but I really do like you and I want to take you on a proper date.” Sakura rolled her eyes, snorting. “‘Proper’? Have to be on time for that.” Ino punched her, hissing at her to shut up.

You giggled at the pure chaos, but you knew you wouldn’t have it any other way. “I guess it’s good I really like you too. Let’s just hope it’ll just be the two of us!” Sakura and Ino laughed before realizing it wasn’t a joke. “Oh-oh…” Now it was you and Kakashi’s turn to laugh.

~Akatsuki~

Pein~

Even though Pein had seemed cruel and cold in the beginning, he had actually panned out to be a decent human being. Or God, in his not-so-humble opinion. It took six months for you to realize, but you had noticed. He made sure you had everything you needed, food, clothes, your own room… things you hadn’t had consistently in years. You couldn’t hide the fact that you had grown fond of him.

When he sent you on missions they were usually solo, seeing as no one had your stealth and sticky fingers. However, they were always manageable and you were always successful. You had just gotten back from your last mission, you had been sent to eavesdrop on Orochimaru’s meeting with some important what’s-his-name, and you were heading to his office to report back.

You knocked twice, knowing he didn’t like people just barging in. “Enter.” You opened the door, unsurprised to see the Akatsuki leader surrounded by paperwork. “Ah, you’re back sooner than I expected.” You handed him the scroll, filled with your findings. “It was a very to the point meeting, Leader-Sama.” He nodded, exchanging the scroll you gave him for another one.

Your eyebrows furrowed in question. “I know you just got back, but I have one last mission for you. It’s very simple, I have no doubt you’ll finish it before the night is over.” You sighed, at least it was quick.

“Yes, Leader-Sama.” Just as you turned, you heard the carrot head’s voice. “Oh, and (Y/N)? Tell no one of this mission, please. You leave in 30 minutes.” You nodded sharply. “Understood.”

~~~Time Skip Brought By You Stealing Kakuzu’s Money~~~

Your mission was almost too simple, in comparison to what you’d been tasked with before. All you had to do was make your way into a high-end restaurant Pein had gotten you a reservation for. Your goal was to find one of Orochimaru’s contacts and steal an important message he had.

You awkwardly smoothed out the red cocktail dress you had on and moved to look for the man the scroll had described. You didn’t see anyone, so you sat in a corner booth, content to wait. “Can I get you a drink to start you off?” Your attention snapped to the waiter, and you dawned a smile. “Um, I’ll just take a Sake, please.” He nodded, writing it down. “I’ll be right back with that.” He dashed away, revealing someone behind him.

You blinked rapidly trying to make sense of what you were seeing. “Leader-sama?!” You shout-whispered. “What’s going on?! Is something wrong?” He offered you a smile as he sat down across from you. “Not exactly. There was never a mission, I ju-” Anger surged within you.

“You mean to tell me, you brought me on a wild goose chase while I could’ve been sleeping?!”

The man had the nerve to sigh at you. “Just let me explain, okay?” You crossed your arms, waiting for him to explain.

“There is no mission because I wanted to take you out on a date.” You choked on absolutely nothing but your own disbelief. You had developed a soft spot for your leader, but… he wanted to take you on a date?

“Leader-sama-” “Pein,” He interrupted. You nodded slowly. “Pein… why didn’t you just ask me? Like a regular person.” He nodded at the waiter as he brought your drink. “Well, first, I’m a God, so I don’t do things like humans, and second, I didn’t know if you’d say yes.” You laughed a bit. “Well, Pein, that’s usually where asking the person comes in.”

His lips quirked upwards. “Well, we’re already here, aren’t we? We might as well enjoy the night.” You hid your grin (unsuccessfully).

“Yeah, yeah, I suppose. I am pretty hungry.”

Deidara~

Ever since your explosive art exhibit, you had been wondering what had happened to Deidara. It’d been a month since you’d seen him ad frankly, you missed him more than you’d care to admit. Maybe he hadn’t meant what he said?

You hadn’t been up to making ant new art lately and that wasn’t going to change any time soon. Instead, you resigning yourself to a self-pity nap. You’d been resorting to those a lot lately.

You heard your bed creak in the back of your mind, and because you were a light sleeper, you felt yourself begin to wake up. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake up, (Y/N), un.” You blinked for a solid twenty seconds, your tired mind not being able to compute what you were seeing.

Deidara sat next to you, on top of your covers, a half-smile on his face. But what was possibly even more astonishing was the fact that he was wearing an Akatsuki cloak. “Dei…? W-what’re you doing here?” You sat up, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “I made you a promise, and I intended to keep it… even if it took me a little longer than I imagined, un.” You still couldn’t believe what you were seeing.

The sweet, charming artist you had come to love was a member of the Akatsuki. “Ah, I see you noticed my cloak, yeah. I figured it was wrong to keep it from you, un.” You just stared, totally stunned. His hand rested on your cheek, gently bringing your gaze up to meet his. “Please say something, (Y/N),” He whispered nervously. “I’m really glad you’re back, Deidara.” And it was the truth, him being an S-ranked criminal didn’t change that. You had no loyalties, no ties, and that gave you no reason to dislike his choices.

“You don’t hate me, un?” You placed your hand over the one that was still placed on your cheek. “The time we spent together, the person I got to know didn’t change in my eyes just because he has certain loyalties. You’re still the funny, wild, and charismatic Deidara I met a month ago.” His smile brightened up the whole room.

“Thank you for waiting for me, I didn’t have a chance to get away from our base, yeah.” You smiled. “It doesn’t matter why, you’re here with me now.” The two of you were silent for a moment before you both burst into laughter. “We sound so corny!” He snickered. You rested a hand on his shoulder to stay upright as your laughter shook your form. “I know right! But, I did mean everything I said, just pretend I phrased it cooler.” Deidara chuckled before his face turned serious.

“Me as well, especially when I say that I’m going to take you on the best date ever before I have to leave. I swear it, un.” You pulled him into a hug, resting your cheek in the crook of his neck. “How much longer do you have?”

His arms snaked around your torso. “Until the end of the night, yeah.” You pulled away, giving him a sly look. “Well, we’d better get going then, huh?”

[dazaisfavoritewife]

Bakusquad with a black s/o - Someone calls you a racial slur

This idea has been on my mind for SO LONG! You might be wondering, “Then author-Chan, why didn’t you write it before?” WELL BECAUSE IM LAZY- So, I hope you enjoy :) -btw I’m going to use female pronouns, so if you want a male version or part 2 let me know-

~~~~~~~~

Bakugo

He is so appreciative, like this dude could care less about what skin color you are, but he just thinks your skin is BEAUTIFUL! Like, YES!! Racist Karen’s? Mans gotcha back.

But this one time, a racist bitch, *cough* BETHANY *cough* she called you a racial slur (even if I am african American i’m not saying it) and you obviously had to mop the floor with a hoe!

“Y/N, stay the f*ck away from my man!” Bethany screamed at you, you just rolled your eyes and stared straight at her.

“I’m sorry? Who’s your man?”

“Bakugo! You know that you ni-“

Oops! Bethany accidentally fell on your foot.. Then your hand.. Then your knee... She got beat the fuck up. While you were beating the absolute hell out of Bethany, the bell rang, but you were too busy with Bethany to notice that everyone was heading to lunch.

You snatched her by her hair, and started beating the crap out of her, when everyone saw they were frozen just there like ‘O’ but, Bakugo was cheering you on.

“YEAH! BEAT HER ASS N/N!”

You still didn’t give a fuck and just smirked, until your home room teacher, Aizawa came into the hallway.

“L/N! Bakugo! Detention after school!”

Best believe you just looks at him like, ‘N what?’

Bakugo just shrugged, and aizawa told us to go to lunch.

“This isn’t over Bethany..”

Then you just dropped her, grabbed Bakugo, and skipped to lunch, him proudly walking with you while everyone just stared at you in disbelief at how you’re acting like nothing happened after you just beat the shit out of a hoe. Not sorry!

Kirishima

Like Bakugo, he thinks you’re beautiful! He also thinks you’re real manly, because there are so many people who don’t think you belong in ua because of your skin, but he just deals with them himself.

But one day, someone took it too far and three girls game up to you and their leader just started insulting you, and one of them said a racial slur, you weren’t having it.

“Oh look! It’s Y/N! I thought you would’ve given up on becoming a hero, I mean how could you be popular when you look like.. That?”

“Like what? A badass? A queen? Beautiful? At least I don’t have 55 layers makeup, I have a thing called natural beauty.”

“What beauty? All we see is a ni-“

Oh no! They all somehow ended up on the floor with a bloody nose! Oops! You accidentally made your boot and their head best friends..

“I’m sorry, I can’t *thump* hear you other the *thump* noise! *thump thump thump*”

Needless to say, you beat all their asses. And in an instant you’d beat anyone and everyone’s ass if they even dared say a racial slur.

So, while in the process of beating three bitches asses, all of class 1-A came out of home room because aizawa wanted them to come and get you because you’re their friend, and they saw you beating the fuck out of three girls at the same time, and they all just stared at you in awe, and shock, except for Iida. He was against it obviously. And Bakugo, Mina, and Kaminari were cheering you on.

“Yeah Y/N! Kick their ass!”

“You got this Y/N!”

“Yeah! Whatever reason you did this, great job!”

“L/N That is not appropriate in school or outsie of it! Please refrain from beating people up!

Aizawa heard cheering and yelling outside the classroom and got annoyed, and went to check to see you beating three girls asses and the Bakusquad, (this time all of them) cheering you on.

“Is there a good reason for this? Otherwise detention.”

“These *thump* bitches *thump* thought they could try *thump thump thump* call me a racial slur.” Iida shut the fuck up real quick, and everyone was shocked that he actually started routing for you!

“...Continue.”

Then he walked back in the classroom. We stan men who don’t support racist bitches.

Kaminari

Kaminari respects you, you don’t take anyone's shit. Plus you’re beautiful, that’s a bonus to him. There were two particular people once who were giving you weird looks because of your skin, you just laughed in their face while Kaminari electrocuted them, then brought him home after he short circuited.

But one stupid bitch didn’t know how badass you are. So they tried using a racial slur, but we all know we don’t stand them. So this bitch named Rachel walked up to you and just started trash talking.

“Why are you even in the hero course? You don’t deserve it.”

“Because I earned it. You don’t deserve to be in ua at all if you’re bullying someone superior to a lowlife.”

“Whatever, you’re just a ni-“

She didn’t get to finished her sentence before you just roundhouse kicked a bitch, then just started beating the crap out of her.

“Say it again. I DARE you.”

While you were beating the shit out of her, class 1-A and aizawa just heard a bunch of loud and some very quiet crashes and thumps, and a lot of yelling.

“What in the entire world is going on out there..” Aizawa mumbled.

All of class 1-A including aizawa opened the door and walked into the hallway, to see you literally slamming her face into a locker, and occasionally kicking and punching her.

“Holy shit..”

Everyone was stunned, but Bakugo was laughing his ass off.

“L/N, what are you doing!?”

“SHUT UP IIDA!”

“U-uhm L/N..? Why are you hurting that person..?”

“THEY TRIED, THEY REALLY TRIED ME!”

“What did they do?”

“SHE THIUGHT SHE COUKD SAY A RACIAL SLUR”

“YOU GO! THATS MY GIRL!”

“Oh, everyone back in the classroom. Everything’s fine.”

Then they just went back into class like their classmate wasn’t beating the shit out of a girl. Needless to say, someone had to pull you off of her before you killed her.

Sero

Sero is a supportive king, and very underated. He thinks you’re the most beautiful women he’s ever met, and mans is extremely protective because once someone made a comment about your skin and you just ignored it but it kinda hurted :(

But one fateful day for two boys, they made the terrible mistake of saying a racial slur, they really thought they did something by getting beat the fuck up.

“I don’t know why they let YOU in the hero course.”

“I don’t know what led YOU to believe I’mma take your shit.”

“Whatever. You’re just a ni-“

And he just magically fell to the floor! Oh no! His buddy accidentally got slammed into him after! Damn it, they accidentally made contact with your boot!!

Class 1-A and 1-B heard you beating the shit out of the boys, so the teachers went into the hallway to see what the commotion is, but the students being their nosy selves went to see too.

Mr. Aizawa and Mr. Vlad King went into the hallway to see you beating the fuck out of two kids, class 1-A and 1-B looked through the door, and Bakugo just started cheering you on, so did Sero.

“Yes Y/N! Fuck em up!”

“I knew I chose the right one! Yes Y/N!”

Kendo being one of your friends, started cheering you on too.

“Go Y/N! Yes queen!”

Aizawa just turned around and walked back into the classroom after telling the students to go back to their seats. Vlad king broke you away from them though.. Aw shit you got detention.

Mina

(I got lazy on Sero’s because after Kirishima I took a break and started writing Kaminari’s after, and it’s 1 AM so I’m tired and watching YouTube to stay awake, this is probable gonna be shitty, they all are honestly.. I’m sorry btw I believe the theory that Mina is black so roll with it if you don’t)

Mina knows that you’re the most beautiful wiman alive, and you’re her queen, and vise versa.

One day this bitch named Ashley decided to insult your guys’ relationship and called you a racial slur, you definitely weren’t having it when it comes to Mina.

“Hey Y/N I heard you’re dating a girl.. That’s gross.”

“Hey Ashley, I heard you eat d*ck. That’s gross.”

“You’re a nasty ni-“

Ashley couldn’t finish her sentence because she was slammed into the locker, and became best friends with your fist and boot, whoops!

So, everyone was heading home because the final bell rang and everyone was packing up, and they were leaving their classrooms, and they all saw you beating the shit out of Ashley, and Mina was just smiling the widest smile that shines so bright, and she started cheering you on with Bakugo.

“Yes my queen! Beat her ass!”

“Yeah Y/N! Beat that extra!”

You got one last HARD kick in, before aizawa came up to you and pulled you off.

“Let me go!”

“Why were you even harming a student?”

“BECAUSE THIS HOMOPHOBIC BITCH CAME UP TO ME AND STARTED TALKING ABOUT ME AND MINA AND ADDED IN JUST THE CHERRY ON TOP AND CALLED ME A RACIAL SLUR!”

Aizawa went quiet and so did everyone else, then he just let you go and walked away, and everyone else just left the school like it was a normal day, we stand most of the people here.

(In case you’re confused on why it said Raven I accidentally put my name for this kind of stuff,sorry)

[outcast-thingz]

Hello my lovelies im back once again with a song fic. I'm feeling SUUUUPER DUUUUPER iffy on this one, I don't like how I ended it but I'll put it up for now. Just know it may come down later for editing... anyways enjoy!

Pairing: Kyotani x Reader

Summary: loosing a match results in new friends and a new spark?

Warnings: fluff, and a bit of cussing here and there

Love at First Kick

       "Y/n please!" Oikawa begs. You briefly glare at the whiny boy. You grunt and struggle to win the arm wrestling match with Iwaizumi.

"I'm not going to be your-" you grunt again and successfully push Iwa's hand down on the table, "manager." You turn in your seat so you are fully facing Oikawa. The sinister look on your face is a complete 180 of how you normally look and act. "You interrupt one of my arm wrestling matches with Iwazumi again and I will send you to an early grave Trashbag. Now you two should go, you'll be late if you don't." You threaten. Oikawa smirks,

"You love me and you know it. If you didn't you wouldn't hang around Iwa-chan and I so much!" He lifts a finger as if a light bulb lit up above his head, "what about this? One more match with Iwa-cha. If you win I will stop pestering you about being our manager."

"And if I lose?" You dare to ask. Oikawa frowns,

"I'm surprised you have to ask Y/n-chan~" he returns to that stupid smug smirk, " I thought you were supposed to be smart. You are in smart classes aren't you?"

"Get to the point Trashbag, or I'm leaving." You threaten, he briefly glances at Iwaizumi

"If you lose then you have to agree to be our manager." His eyes narrow and his smirk deepens. Before you have the chance to argue Iwaizumi grips your hand. 

"I-... fine" you roll you eyes, "just be ready to look for someone else to be your manager." You agree begrudgingly. The match begins and you realize your mistake. While you had both been struggling for three round before this, you knew Iwaizumi had a bigger stamina than you. 'That asshole! He waited to ask for this match on purpose!' You thought to yourself as the struggling Iwa successfully slams your hand down. The moment he releases your hand you slam both of yours on the table and rise to your feet.

"Did you let me win earlier!? Because you were NOT pushing as hard as you were earlier!" You argue knowing you were wrong. Oikawa busts out laughing. Iwaizumi shakes his head,

"No, I just refused to lose this because I didn't want to listen to Trashy-kawa moan and complain for the next two weeks about failing again." He crosses his eyes and narrows them at you, " You let your guard down, not me. Maybe part of you wants our manager afterall." His eyes soften as you purse your lips knowing you'd been caught red handed. 

"I do not!!" You lied.

"Awe Y/n-chan~, or should I say Manager~. you don't have to be shy. You can say I finally got to you. After all everyone falls for my charms at some point." Oikawa teases before starting to run off. You spin on your heels and just barely miss being caught by Iwa.

'On the first day of class; you walked into the room; a hot little thing; with a bad attitude'

       You're hot on Oikawa's heels. If you hadn't been mad you would have fell over laughing when he looked over his shoulder and yelped seeing you so close. He busts into the gym where only one other boy happened to be. You kick Oikawa to the floor and quickly pin his arm behind his back.

"Damn Y/n I didn't know you were into that" Oikawa jokes as he winced in pain. A whistle rings out in the gym. Before you could do anything else to the aggravating captain a pair of arms wrap around you. Not knowing who it was turned all of your anger into panic. You struggled for a moment before realizing what you had to do to get free. You slam you head back/up hitting your capture's chin. Then you stomp on their foot as hard as you could. They release you. You spin and round house kick the boy kid that held you. You foot reaches the ground and a chilling grip lands on your shoulder.

"Y/n, calm down." Iwa's voice come from behind you. You work on slowing your breathing as you search for whoever held you. Once you spot him you look up at Iwa who nods and let's you go. Iwaizumi drags Oikawa off by the ear to the changing room where the rest of the boys were exiting from. You extend a hand to the poor boy, 

"Here." He looks you up and down, huffy, and grips your hand. As bright as his yellow hair was you could help but hold your gaze in his glaring eyes. His cold intimidating aura mixed and tangled with his firey, piercing eyes. You gripped as hard as you could and helped him to his feet. You could see his eyes soften as a warm light seems to hide behind the swirling honey brown pot for eyes he has. 

'And I knew, I knew; I knew you were trouble baby'

        "Are you okay? I'm sorry I kind freaked out when I realized it wasn't Iwaizumi who had their arms around me" you apologize. The brooding boy just stares at you for a moment. You purse your lips to the side and lift an eyebrow. After waving a hand in front of him, "hello? Did I really hit you that hard?" And calling to him he blinks. He shakes his head and sticks his hand out to you.

"Kyo- Kyotmmi" he mumbles as he keeps his eyes glued to the outstretched hand. You can't help but giggle and smile. You grip his hand and his eyes snap up to yours like an excited puppy. 

"Y/n," the two of you shake hands. Your hands part and fall to their respective sides. The rest of the team lines up beside Kyotani. You back up so you are in front of them but lined up with the middle person. They go down the line introducing themselves.

"Hello~! It's a pleasure to meet all of you, I'm Y/n! I will be you're new manager, so feel free to ask me any questions." You bow. "Pleasure to meet you manager!" All but one of the boys bow breifly and speak in unison. After a second or two Yahaba turns, slaps Kyo's back and laughs,

"Jesus Mad Dog. Breathe." The rest of the team joins in laughter. Once again you find yourself smiling and giggling,

"Relax Kyo-Kyo. I don't normally roundhouse people, just Oikawa when he gets on my nerves." 

       "Wait!? You roundhouse kicked Mad Dog!?" Kindaichi shouts with wide eyes. You cross your arms and rub your thumb back and forth on your bicep, 

"Yeah… again im really sorry about that Kyo-Kyo."

"I'm sorry did I hear you say Kyo-Kyo~? Awe Y/n-chan~ are you already falling for mad dog? What a cute nickname for him but kinda of opposite from his personality don't 'cha think?" Oikawa teases as he approaches the team with Iwaizumi. Iwa smacks the back of the captain's head. "Iwachan you're so mean!" Oikawa whines.

"Wait. Did you not say Kyo-Kyo? I- oh my! I-I I'm sorry, I really thought you said your name was Kyo-Kyo!" You blushed furiously as you explained yourself. The daggers shooting from Kyotani's eyes at his captain could kill an elephant. 

"Quit saying it if you don't mean it!" He barks at you as he turns his head to the side and stares st the ground. 

"What's that suppose to mean?" Yahaba jokingly elbows Kyotani who is matchingabout blush. Kunimi raises his hand to his chest,

"It was an accident but I think our Mad Dog actually likes our manager's nickname for him." Kyotani growls and glares at Kunimi. Oikawa stomps his foot like a child having a tantrum,

"Don't call him Mad Dog! That's my nickname for him!" Kunimi turns to his captain, pulls the bottom of his eyelid down and sticks tounge out. "RUDE! Don't do that to your captain!!" He chides. You watched as the other team members teases Kyotani while Kunimi messes with Oikawa. 

       Out of worry that the team was overwhelming you Iwaizumi gently places his hand on your shoulder. 

"Y/n?" You smiled and began to laugh. All mouths shut and eyes landed on you. You continued to laugh as the boys shared confused glances. "God, it's no wonder Iwaizumi is stressed all the time." You pause to continue laughing, "it certainly explains why on his bad days it's impossible to beat him in an arm wrestling match. He must be taking his frustration out on the matches. You all are insane…" you laughter dies down but your smile stays. "Losing that match might have been the best thing that's ever happened to me. I can't wait to manage you guys." You admit.

       Everyone shares a collective laugh and practice finally starts. Once it ends Kyotani runs up to you with that excited puppy look in his eyes again.

"Will.. will you arm wrestle me sometime?" He asks, his voice once again a mumble. You nod your head,

"Of course any time Kyotani!" His eyes became dim, almost as if he didn't like you calling him by his real name. He starts to shuffle away. You shake your head smiling yet again because of this hot-headed boy. "Hey!" You call out, "how about after some ice cream, you and I have a match?... Kyo Kyo~" His eyes light up but his face remains blank. You could see that inside he was smiling as he nods. Just like that your free night had a new date.

Taglist: @red-riot-rat @oof-she-needs-therapy @gayfanficanonymous

[mysticm3ss]

RFA+Saeran x MC who does muay thai

not requested, but i was at a muay thai class today and just started thinking abt this so i figured i’d write it. this is pure self-indulgence, sorry haha. if you haven’t heard of it before, muay thai is thai kickboxing ^^ (also i’m not claiming to be an expert by any means i’ve only been doing it for like 6 weeks i just rly like it)

Yoosung:

Lowkey terrified when he finds out.

That said, the experience in which he discovers your hobby isn’t exactly “ideal.”

It was late as the two of you walked home from one of your dates; the street lamps were dull, the traffic nothing but a slow trickle as you walked hand in hand down the footpath, sharing whispers and hushed giggles in the quiet of the night.

Safe by Yoosung’s side and all too occupied as the apple of his eye, you don’t even notice the person who had been following you the past block and a half.

When they make their presence known by grabbing your purse, your fight instincts take over and you slip easily into your muay thai stance, throwing quick, consecutive punches without thinking and easily blocking attempted counterattacks.

You follow it up with a knee to the liver and a brutal kick to their inner thigh. When you throw an uppercut elbow into their chin, they collapse into an unconscious heap before you.

Still shaking with adrenaline (and, to an extent, surprise at your own skill), you pry your purse from their grip and step away, only to find Yoosung gaping at you.

“...Yoosung?”

He blinks, shaking his head to snap himself from his stupor as he manages to stammer a response.

“M-MC... what the hell was that?! Oh my god, are you okay?!”

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t hella turned on tbh

You chuckle sheepishly. “Heh. Yeah, I’m fine... you know how I go to the gym? It’s... technically a muay thai gym.”

Yoosung manages to nod, and stares in disbelief as you revert back to your usual self, pecking his cheek before taking his hand and continuing to walk down the pathway.

He can’t help but watch you in awe.

Wow, his partner is awesome.

Zen:

When Zen notices the bruises marring your legs and torso, he’s immediately concerned.

“Jagi... what happened? Are you okay? How did you get all these bruises? Is someone hurting you?!”

You can see the anger bubbling beneath the surface, and you run your hand down his arm soothingly before he can get too riled up.

“No, no, it’s fine, Zen... they’re just from muay thai.”

Zen’s brow furrows into the most adorable pout of confusion as he tilts his head to the side.

“...from what?”

You explain the sport to him, and his eyes light up with interest.

“Oh, wow! Maybe I could... go with you, sometime?” he suggests idly, and you nod eagerly.

The next week, you drag him to a beginner’s class.

The moment you walk into the gym, Zen’s chest tightens with jealously. The gym is full of guys. Shirtless guys. Fit shirtless guys.

When you greet them all as friends, even hugging a few who hadn’t been in for a while, Zen can’t help but pull you a little closer to his side.

“...MC, y-you come here almost every day?” he asks, and you giggle, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth and easily spotting the hint of insecurity in his eyes, and the protectiveness that shadowed it.

“Yes, and I come home to you,” you remind him, and he immediately relaxes, nodding and casting aside his worries as he instead focusses on enjoying the sport you devote so much time to.

You start off by teaching him how to wrap his hands and volunteering to hold pads for him first, once he’s learned some basic movements.

He’s already fit, so it doesn’t take him too long to get down the basic technique...

...but his punches are weak, his kicks weaker, and you know right away that he’s going easy on you.

“Zen. Babe. You can kick harder,” you prompt, and he chuckles.

“What? I know... I just...”

You grin, and the timer buzzes, signalling the end of the round.

When the instructor begins to describe the movements for the next round, he drags you to the front of the room to demonstrate, considering your experience in comparison to the other beginners. When he gets you to hold pads for him, Zen flinches as he watches the instructor knee the belly pad strapped around your waist, followed by the quick, solid roundhouse kick you easily catch with the pads. 

The thwack of flesh on leather has Zen half ready to leap to your defence, but he can only stare in awe as you easily absorb the impact.

You swap partners for the next round, and Zen couldn’t possibly describe his anxiety as he watches you partner up with someone almost twice your size.

His anxiety fades into admiration as he watches you land punch after punch, nailing kicks and knees into your partner’s waiting pads like nobody’s business.

he almost gets punched in the head (twice) while he’s not paying attention let’s be real

By the end of the class, Zen has already made friends with your buddies--if they’re important to you, they’re important to him, as well, and he’d be damned if he didn’t want to make a good first impression on them.

When the two of you head home that evening, Zen relents that maybe the sport isn’t for him (he can’t have bruises on his beautiful skin after all), but is always eager to support your interests.

Jaehee:

This judo enthusiast is thrilled when she hears that you enjoy a combat sport, as well.

Peppers you with questions about the differences between the two sports, and would honestly love to give sparring with you a go in order to compare techniques...

...which is exactly what the two of you end up doing.

You’re not trying to hurt each other, of course--you set boundaries and never go at each other with full power.

But when the two of you finish up, you’re both patterned with mottling bruises and aching limbs.

After a hot shower, the two of you cuddle up on the bed, all tangled limbs and gentle nuzzling as you press soft kisses to one another’s wounded skin.

You run your hands along Jaehee’s back and gently massage her sore muscles, feeling the tension seep from her body as she relaxes into the sheets, humming contentedly at your touch.

When you’re done, she returns the favour, ending it with a soft kiss to the lips that breaks as you both can’t help but smile against one another’s mouths.

“That was fun, MC...” she murmurs, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “But... maybe we should leave sparring to our respective classes. I don’t like the idea of hurting you.”

You smile, wincing as you shuffle to glance over at her, body still throbbing dully in pain.

She mimics the action, ribs obviously sore and arms tired as they wrap around your waist, warm and soft.

“Mmm... good idea,” you reply, pressing your face into her neck and placing a soft kiss to her jaw. “I don’t want to hurt you, either.”

Jumin:

When Jumin finds out about your hobby, he’s a mix between intrigued and impressed.

“MC, as much as I love that you’re capable of defending yourself, you do realise we have a whole security team dedicated to your safety...?”

You smile goodnaturedly and explain to him that it’s not just about the self-defence, though that is an added bonus; it’s about the stress relief and satisfaction of being able to nail a certain move or combo, and the thrill that comes with sparring.

When he sees just how much you enjoy it, he considers hiring a world titleholder to act as your personal trainer.

And as much as the idea of meeting such a skilled individual excites you, you explain that it’s really not necessary.

You love the comradeship you have at your gym, and your primary goal isn’t to fight professionally, anyways. You’re happy where you are.

Definitely buys you top-notch equipment--we’re talking brand new gloves and shin pads, so fancy that you’re a little scared to imagine the heavy price tag they bore.

Loves to watch you practise shadowboxing around the house, and peppers you with questions about your technique.

Even asks you to show him a few moves.

let’s just say that muay thai is not jumin’s forte

Regardless, you appreciate his interest in your passion, and definitely enjoy the hot baths he draws to soothe your sore muscles, and the loving attention he pays you afterwards.

Seven:

“MC, that’s amazing~! Who would’ve thought my innocent sweetie was so tough and talented!”

Honestly, the idea of you engaging in the sport is really exciting to him.

and turns him on to no end

Eager to drive you to, and pick you up from, all of the classes you go to throughout the week.

Your biggest supporter if you ever choose to fight, and working out with you is one of the few things that can drag him away from the constraints of his work.

He doesn’t mention it, but the fact that you’re somewhat competent in combat is also really reassuring to him.

Knowing that you can look after yourself if the situation arose? Super comforting to him, especially regarding his line of work.

Insists on sparring with you.

“Saeyoung, do you even know anything about muay thai, let alone how to spar in it?”

“Whaaaaat? Of course~!”

(He doesn’t)

(He doesn’t even block any of your punches)

(C’mon man you’re a secret agent you know how to block a goddamn punch)

“Ohh, MC, you’re just too strong for me~ God Seven is forced to surrender!”

Brags about you to the RFA chat every other day.

“Hey, did you know MC can totally beat me up~?”

“...Seven, confine your kinks to the bedroom please”--the entire RFA

Regardless, he’s super proud of you and will always, always support your interests, especially one he finds so cool!

Saeran:

It makes him uneasy.

The idea of a bunch of people throwing punches at you, with only a foam pad between you and their fist or elbow?

Nope. Not a fan.

And when you come home with bruises?!?!

“I thought you said they weren’t really hurting you?!”

“Sae, I literally did this to myself. The boxing bags aren’t soft on my shins, y’know.”

Begrudgingly admits he’s glad you know how to defend yourself, though.

Plus he sees how happy you are when you come home, and nothing can beat the flutter in his chest when he sees the light in your eyes and the grin on your face, even when you’re sweaty and sore.

Eventually, it’s something that he gets used to, and he finds himself kissing the bruises marring your skin and rubbing tiger palm into your sore muscles.

So long as you’re happy, so is he.

hope you enjoyed! i don’t expect many people to read this one but if you’ve made it this far, why not reblog or comment and let me know what you think? xx

[amixiifish]

Flirting

1. “Hey there, pretty boy,” she says, sliding up to him.

“Uh, thanks? Hi to you too?” Zuko responds uncertainty. Sokka makes an uncomfortable noise in his throat.

“So once you’re done hanging out with your friend,” the girl says, gesturing to Sokka, “wanna come hang out with me?”

Sokka growls but doesn’t say anything. Zuko nods, confused.

“Sure? What’s your name?” He asks as the beta says, “wanna meet at my place?”

“For what?” Zuko asks. Sokka chokes on his laugh- Zuko wasn’t that dense, was he?

The woman blinks.

“Um, are you serious right now?” she asks.

“Yeah. I’m not sure what’s happening?” Zuko trails off, looking at Sokka for help.

Sokka pulls Zuko into a possessive kiss, startling the omega.

The woman looks shocked. Then smirks. “I’m ok with a threesome. Especially with an alpha that nice.”

“I’m not,” Sokka deadpans.

“What was that about?” Zuko asks Sokka.

Sokka sighs. “Nothing, darling. Just pay attention to people like that and call me or Jet when that happens, ok.”

Zuko blinks. “It’s gonna happen again?”

“With you looking so fucking good, most likely,” Sokka purrs, grabbing Zuko’s and pulling him flush against him.

“But what does that have to do with-” Zuko says, soon cut off by a kiss. He melts into it.

2. Jet and Zuko were in line at the grocery store. They put their groceries on the conveyor belt and Zuko sees a man helping them. He isn’t wearing one of the workers' uniforms, so Zuko asks him what he’s doing.

“Well, such a beautiful omega shouldn’t have to do work by himself,” the man says, smirking slightly.

“I’m not doing it by myself? My boyfriend is here with me?” Zuko says. Jet smiles.

“Pah! Him? You could do so much better than that beta. Why don’t you come with me back to my place after we’re done here, and I can show you some… high quality.” Jet bristles, and is about to exclaim, but Zuko gives him a look.

“I’m good thanks. My alpha is waiting at home and I’d rather not keep him waiting. Bye.” Zuko says, voice absolute ice.

The alpha scoffs. “Whatever.”

Jet remains calm all the way home, but snaps the second they step into their house.

He slams Zuko into the wall, hands in a bruising grip on his ribs. Zuko lets put a strangled plea of “Jet” as Jet bites hard on Zuko’s mating bite.

“Fucking idiot doesn’t realize that alphas aren’t the only dominant ones.” Jet snarled into Zuko’s neck.

Zuko calms him down by releasing a calming scent to soothe the beta.

“Better?” he asks, after the curl up on the couch, Jet’s head on his lap.

“Hmm.” Jet hums, liking how warm the omega felt under him.

3. The next time it happened was at a party- but to be fair, everyone was already hammered. Zuko was only tipsy, and he watched as his boyfriends danced drunkenly. A petite girl comes up to him and wraps her arms around his torso.

“Um,” he says, trying to pry her arms off of him, “would you mind getting off of me?”

“Oh, but you’re such a pretty little omega!” she coos at him. She releases strong pheromones of lust and affection. Sokka angrily stalks over.

“He’s my omega,” he growls at her. She doesn’t take the hint, merely holding him tighter. Another girl sways over to them, though not as drunk as the first one.

“Amelia, come on! Are you cheating on me?” She asks the first alpha girl. She snaps out of her drunken trance and looks at the beta.

“Lilyyyyy!!!!!” She lets go of Zuko straight away and practically jumps into the arms of the other girl. Sokka hugs Zuko and he hugs back, slightly confused.

“I love you,” Sokka says, nuzzling at his mark on Zuko’s neck. Despite the alcohol in his breath, Zuko smiles back at him.

“Love you too.”

4. Zuko’s back is shoved against a wall, and the alpha leers at him.

“Please, don’t hurt me,” he whimpers to the man towering above him.

“Hurt you?” He smirks, “I’m not going to hurt you. Just show you what it’s like to have a good time.”

Zuko glances around for help, and starts to cry out when he sees a familiar flash of jet-black hair. The whole thing plays out in slow motion for him- Jet sends a flying punch at the man while Zuko knees him in the balls. The alpha reaches down to cover his nether regions and Jet roundhouse kicks him in the face. He soon grabs Zuko’s hands and then both of them are running. Zuko makes the mistake of turning back- the huge man is running close behind them.

Zuko faces him fully (running backwards) and throws him two double fingers. Jet laughs beside him, and they outrun him. Panting, they stop outside their apartment complex.

“Damn. That was crazy,” Zuko says, grabbing Jet’s water bottle. He takes a swig then passes it back to his boyfriend.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Jet says after drinking. “I left you for literally ten seconds and you’re being seduced by an alpha. God, Zuko,” he says, shaking his head.

“What am I going to do with you?”

“Kiss me, perhaps?” Zuko responds, smirking slightly. Jet leans in.

5. “Hey there, pretty boy,” a beta boy says to him. Zuko moves away.

He slides closer to Zuko. “C’mon, don’t play hard to get. Not like anyone else is gonna give you a second look with that scar.”

Zuko blanches. Before he can say anything, Sokka and Jet walk behind him.

Sokka pulls Zuko against his chest and Jet presses a kiss to his mating mark on Zuko’s shoulder.

“Oh but they did. That’s because they didn’t want to end up with shit like you. Fuck off.” Sokka snarled.

“Take it easy man. It’s no big deal.” The beta huffs but walks away nonetheless.

“What a dick,” Jet mutters.

“I’m pretty sure he was trying to put it in me, too,” Zuko agreed.

That pulls a startled laugh from Sokka and a look of amusement from Jet.

“Nice to see your humor back in action,” Sokka teased.

“What humor?” Zuko deadpans.

Jet laughs and they enjoy the rest of their evening.

+1 “Well… I guess you have to kiss me, right?” Mai says uncomfortably as they look up to see the mistletoe hanging over their heads.

“I won’t if you don’t want to,” Zuko says sincerely. The two of them had dated when they were in their straight phase, and they had split on relatively good terms.

She glances away. “But what if I want to?” She asks him shyly. Zuko flushes, embarrassed. He looks to the other side, where Katara and Aang were sitting. Help me, he mouths to them, but they snicker at him and turn away.

“Well, uh, we could, I guess,” he says awkwardly. He glances at Toph and Haru, who also laugh slightly behind their cups of eggnog. She leans in, and he backs away.

“Sorry! I just realized that I’m gay as fuck, sorry!” He says sprinting away to Jet, who was closest to him.

Toph was wheezing and to everyone’s surprise, Mai was smirking.

“Aw, man! Zuko, couldn’t you have waited for two days to come out? Now I owe Mai 20 bucks.” Ty Lee whined.

Zuko’s jaw dropped.

Mai just faux sighed and said with mock disappointment dripping from each word. “How sad. I was totally looking forward to that kiss.”

“I thought we were friends,” Zuko pouted, and Jet hugs him from behind as comfort.

“We are. You were going to make me lose 20 dollars and that simply wasn’t acceptable,” Mai said, flipping her hair to walk over to Ty Lee and Teo who were drinking punch near the speakers.

“The nerve!” Zuko sputtered.

“Oh, she cares about your love life. What a bitch,” Toph drawled.

“What love life?” Katara said. Haru snickered and Aang muffled his laugh in his cup.

“Nice one, Sweetness. Gonna have to keep that one in mind.” Toph said.

Sokka laughed on the couch. He pulls Zuko by the wrist next to him.

They keep talking until everyone trickles out slowly.

Mai stays for a minute.

“If you hurt him, I know how to kill someone 37 different ways with just a bobby pin. And I can load a sniper rifle in less than 3 seconds, don’t test me,” Mai said to Sokka and Jet who had both turned pale.

“Hurt who?” Zuko asked.

“Fucking idiot, I can’t even-” Mai muttered her whole way out.

“Well, I should leave too. It’s getting late and-” Zuko starts but is pulled down by Jet on the couch when he stands to leave.

“Stay,” he insists.

“Why?” Zuko asks.

Sokka smiles.

“This is why.”

Before Zuko can process what’s happening, Sokka pulls him down into a kiss.

That was, by far, Zuko's favorite Christmas.

[lynneshobbydomain]

Lights Out (Momoharu Week Day 2)

((Thank you Momoharu Week for hosting this event. Thank you to sunflower_8 for betaing this story for me.))

Prompt: Working out/Sweets

Rating: G

Summary: Maki’s sure fire way to deal with nightmares is the same way she settles things with the people that annoy her. It’s just a shame the thoughts won’t stop coming.

The gym was empty save for just one or two people that were just finishing off their sets. The early morning crowd wasn’t too large and it was easier for Maki to handle when she wanted some time by herself to just think. She didn’t mind the late night workouts with Kaito and Shuichi; she adored those. But this was her time to figure out herself and the world around her. To let her mind go free and to remind herself to stay focused. She didn’t go for the weight lifts her boyfriend opted for, instead she went straight over towards the punching bags and started her stretches, loosening up her muscles and trying to fight the exhaustion that wanted her to come back to bed. Her hands were already taped and her long hair was tied in elegant two buns to keep out of her face.

She punched the punching bag first and she listened to the jingle of the chains that it hung on. The sting on her knuckles was only momentarily as she pulled back and quickly followed it up with a roundhouse kick. She kept herself low, knees bent, and her hands up to her head as it was one of the most common places one would go for in a battle, save for the stomach and the groin area if someone was an amaeutre. 

A thought of Kaito came into her mind and she slammed a punch as hard as she could into the punching bag. The thought drifted back into mindless white noise, but the adrenaline kicked herself into gear. Faster, harder. A thought of Kaito. A thought of the cult. The thought of the cult managing to track her down. A thought of the cult figuring out that Kaito meant something to her. A punch, a kick, a jab, a hammer fist. A thought of Shuichi debating going after the group. She kicked the punching bag so hard, it flung a little away from her in terror. 

Sweat beaded down her arms and face as she stared at the opponent in front of her. The punching bag came back, no less afraid of her than she was afraid of all of the thoughts that were swirling in her mind. She picked herself back up mentally; she pushed all of those thoughts away in her mind. Anger had no reason to be here. There was no reason for her to be afraid. She was at the gym, she wasn’t being targeted and there was no reason for hasty punches and kicks as though she was throwing a tantrum in the middle of a supermarket.

She thought of Kaede and the piano that she played. She thought of the calm that it brought her and the focus that she reigned herself in. If she was going to protect her friends, she had to be better than this. Try again. More precision, more accuracy. Keep them coming, keep them coming, she couldn’t afford the punching bag to get up this time. Her opponent had to stay down, stay down her thoughts were swirling.

Enough.

She was losing her touch. Maki ripped the tape off of her hands as she looked at the punching bag. She could feel the gazes of the two members that were still there watching her in awe. There was nothing awestruck about this. There was nothing that she did that was good. She reacted too much, she lost her concentration. She wasn’t breathing...her heart was racing.

Kaito is in danger.

Kaito is in danger.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. That wasn’t happening. That was never going to happen. She needed to calm herself down. Breathe. She had hoped that if she got here after having it, she would be able to just...shove it aside. Shove it like she did all the rest of her nightmares. She reached for her water bottle and towel, wiping off the sweat on her forehead and taking a long refreshing drink from the bottle.

All they were were distractions and she couldn’t afford those. She walked with aching shoulders and legs towards the treadmill. She could run outside, she supposed. She could run all the way back to her apartment, where Kaito was undoubtedly making waffles or something sweet to get her blood sugar up from all of the exercising. He probably felt her leave to go to the gym after that nightmare, refusing to wake him up for something she could handle on her own.

She could handle this all on her own. She turned up the speed of the treadmill and began to run at a decent pace. She normally would listen to a podcast or a book. Shuichi told her of a few novels that he recommended and she wanted to be able to connect with him more. She wanted to know more about space, so she subscribed to some of the podcasts that spoke about the stars and constellations. Some things went over her head, but she knew enough to try to keep herself in a conversation. 

Her cult would want to take that away from her and she knew that. She knew that there was a chance that she could disappear as easily as she appeared in Hope’s Peak. Kaito didn’t believe that would happen, Shuichi wouldn’t let that happen, and…Maki was grateful for them both. Grateful for Kaito for loving her, for adoring her, for showing her that there was plenty to love.

Her hair was a prized thing Kaito liked about her. He was more sentimental about her brown locks than she was. She knew that if she tried to cut them, Kaito would worry endlessly about what it could mean when all it could mean was a haircut and nothing deeper than that. He told her that he saw stars in her eyes and she scoffed at that. She still couldn’t see that at all, the stars in her eyes. What could that even mean? 

But…

Kaito was...addicting. Not in a way of love, but in the way of affection. He gave his praises and his compliments as free as the wind would blow through the trees. He was unafraid to admit his mistakes, to apologize right up front. He was easy to compliment, and easy to encourage. He took things in stride.

Like the fact that he was getting sick.

Maki turned off the treadmill and she got off with legs feeling like jelly. She grabbed her water bottle and towel and briskly walked over towards the girl’s showers and locker room. She tossed her stuff onto the bench and she slid onto the ground, feeling the cold concrete hit her legs just right, cooling her overheated flesh. She ran her hands across her face and she looked up at the locker helplessly.

That was how that nightmare began. Kaito was getting sick. It was just something weird in his lungs, that’s what the doctor had said. Rationally, Maki knew it could be anything from a shadow to something serious. She knew that if it was serious then Kaito wouldn’t be in the apartment right now. They wouldn’t be waiting for blood tests. They wouldn’t be waiting for a result.

Maki woke up with a nightmare later that night, of Kaito bleeding. Of Kaito unable to breathe and her cult leader whom she hadn’t seen in years standing beside his body. Because that was the only death that she knew, was herself as the grim reaper or as the cult’s. Rationally, she knew this was very stupid. She knew she was overreacting and she was being stupid. She had to calm down.

Instead…

Instead she thought about her friends whom she loved even if they were pranksters and someone she’d rather strangle. She thought about the ones who she loved the most, and Kaito who she couldn’t love enough.

She didn’t deserve any of them. 

She picked herself up off of the ground. Shower, she decided, and then she was going to go back to the apartment. She’ll eat whatever sugar fest Kaito had in store for her, and maybe she could convince him to watch a documentary about space with her. Maybe she could convince him to go on a date. Nothing too strenuous, but...something that they could both do together. 

Maybe if she did all of that, she could start to repay him for all of the love and kindness he showed her. Even if it was small.

[darkjanet2]

Drusilla's Soul Chapter 8 Part 1

Seven Years Later

Raven Bar, San Francisco, Ca -

It was loud music as people were dancing in the nightclub. And the rest of them were drinking alcohol and socializing.

This is the rhythm of the night

The night, oh yeah

The rhythm of the night

This is the rhythm of my life

My life, oh yeah

The rhythm of my life

It was a dark haired woman who wore a dazzling black dress dancing on the dance floor. Drusilla was having so much fun and was very sociable.

You could put some joy upon my face

Oh, sunshine in an empty place

Take me to turn to, and babe I'll make you stay

Oh, I can ease you of your pain

Feel you give me love again

Round and round we go, each time I hear you say

This is the rhythm of the night

The night

Oh yeah

The rhythm of the night

This is the rhythm of my life

My life

Oh yeah

The rhythm of my life

Drusilla was swaying her hips as she danced with her eyes closed and she swung her arms. She got the best moves.

Won't you teach me how to love learn

There'll be nothing left for me to yearn

Think of me burn and let me hold your hand

I don't wanna face the world in tears

Please think again I'm on my knees

Sing that song to me

No reason to repent

I know you wanna say it

This is the rhythm of the night

The night

Oh yeah

The rhythm of the night

This is the rhythm of my life

My life

Oh yeah

The rhythm of my life

This is the rhythm of the night

The night

Oh yeah

The rhythm of the night

This is the rhythm of my life

My life

Oh yeah

The rhythm of my life

This is the rhythm of the night

Oh oh oh

This is the rhythm of the night

Oh oh oh

Rhythm of the night

This is the rhythm of the night

This is the rhythm of the night

The night

Oh yeah

The rhythm of the night

This is the rhythm of my life

My life

Oh yeah

The rhythm of my life

This is the rhythm of the night

The night

Oh yeah

The rhythm of the night

This is the rhythm of my life

My life

Oh yeah

The rhythm of my life

This is the rhythm of the night

The song had finished, Drusilla walked to the bar counter and sat on the stool. There were a couple sitting on the stools.

“Nice moves you got there.” said a woman with a short, blond bob hairstyle, wearing a pink crop top, black leather skirt, black heeled sandals, and accessory with a ruby teardrop necklace.

“Thanks.” grinned Drusilla.

A handsome man wearing metallic silver button down shirt and black leather pants, black shoes and accessory with Rolex. He was holding his girlfriend’s waist.

“So, you seem to have a lot of fun, huh? Care for a drink? I’m Brittney. And this is my boyfriend, David.” said Brittney.

“Hey.” said David.

“Hi. I’m Drusilla. You two have a very good couple. When do you guys meet?” Drusilla asked.

“Oh, we just met on Tinder.” said Brittney.

“Tinder? Heh, I’m sorry, what exactly is Tinder? I don’t know what that is.” said Drusilla, she had no idea what Tinder is.

“It’s a dating app. Where you meet many people, and go on a date with that person." David finished explaining.

“That’s right, when you see the picture below these icons. Tap the heart button if you like them and tap the cross button if you don’t like them. Or you can swipe the screen left and right.” said Brittney.

“Oh, I see. Does it work? Did you talk to each other on Tinder?” Asked Drusilla.

“Oh, yeah, I’m the one who tapped the heart button and me and David were matched, and we did our conversations. We started on a date a while ago.” said Brittney.

“Wow, Tinder sure does work.” said Drusilla.

“Of course it does. You can try Tinder, it’s a smart technology.” said David.

“Oh, I don’t know. I’m not just that type of girl.” said Drusilla.

“C’mon, don’t be shy. I’m sure those guys got hot on you.” said Brittney.

Drusilla furiously blushed, “Hey, come on! I told you I’m not that kind of girl who is looking for a date. I mean, why do you want me to try Tinder?” she asked.

“Because I know you’re single and you will install this app on your phone.” said Brittney.

Drusilla sighed, “Alright, fine, I’ll try it. If it doesn’t work, I’ll uninstall it.” She picked out her iPhone X from her purse and she installed the Tinder app and created her new account.

After she finished it, the bartender gave them drinks. Drusilla drank raven cocktail. Brittney and David drank maple cocktails.

Brittney and David said goodbye to Drusilla and exited the bar. It was dark outside. The night was still young as Drusilla made her way towards her Lamborghini. She entered her Lamborghini and closed the door. She let out a sigh. She was about to leave till she started to have a vision of Brittney and David being attacked by a group of vampires. She had to get over there quickly.

Brittney and David were walking down the empty street, they were a bit buzzed from drinking and giggling. They couldn't stop kissing each other as they weren't paying attention to their surroundings. Five of these people smirked at the couple.

"Well, well, well. Look who wandered into our turf. The little lovebirds seem that tonight is our lucky night." The leader said as he circled the couple.

“Hey, who the hell are you? What do you guys want?” demanded David, he was defending his girlfriend.

"Awe, look at the little pup trying to defend his princess. How adorable.” said a female now licking her lips.

"Come on, sis. You know the young ones are never good." Said the male twin.

"Please leave us alone, or else I’ll call the police if you get in trouble. Now fuck off!” yelled Brittney.

"The little lamb thinks she can threaten us. That’s so cute. I wonder what she tasted like." Another male entered with a slight British accent.

"Okay, it's time to feast, ladies and gentlemen." The leader said to them and they started to transform. Their eyes changed to yellow, their face started to morph into the vampiric visages. And their teeth turned into the sharp fangs like knives.

"What the actual fuck?!” screamed David.

Brittney screamed as she started to hide behind her boyfriend.

“Well, let's see who wants to be eaten first?" The leader grinned evilly.

"How about my fist!?" David shouted and threw his fist at the leader.

"Welp, it seems we got a volunteer." The leader said and caught David's fists and snapped it backwards.

David let out a loud scream in agony as he walked backwards crying looking at his girlfriend.

"Run, Brittney!" David shouted and slowly tried to ignore the pain.

Brittany was going to run away until she bumped into a vampire.

“Where do you think you’re going?” the muscular vampire smirked evilly.

He grabbed her head and slammed her head on the brick wall. She fell over with her forehead bleeding as the blood dripped on to the floor. The male licked the blood off the pavement and smirked.

His mouth wide open and had his fangs inches away from her neck. The vampire felt his head being kicked away from Brittney’s neck.

"Okay, assholes, back away from them." demand Drusilla, stancing in fighting style.

“Who the hell are you?” asked the muscular vampire.

"Your worst nightmare." Drusilla replied normally and she started attacking the muscular vampire.

The muscular vampire tried to punch her, she dodged his fist. She struck her knee to his rib, swiftly kicked to his face as he stumbled backward and crashed the trash cans.

“Holy shit!” shocked the young male vampire.

“That chick knows how to fight!” said the female vampire.

“I’ve heard of her before. She’s a vampire with a soul.” said the leader.

“A soul? Heh, so the vampire has gone good? What a joke." The female vampire said as she walked toward her.

“I’ll make her one on one cuz this isn’t going to be a catfight."

She struck a punch to her face, but she dodged her blow. Drusilla tried to kick her to the head, but she defended her with her arm, and she swirled a kick below and made Dru fall.

“C’mon! Is that all you got?” she taunted.

Dru got up and rolled her shoulder and smiled.

“Not on your life.” Dru replied and she transformed her vampiric face and charged at her. Dru clawed her cheek as the black haired vampire shrieked painfully. Dru smirked and grabbed her and threw her against the wall.

Drusilla sank her fangs to her neck and drank her blood as the vampire exploded to a dust.

“Jill!” the twin vampire cried to his twin sister.

Drusilla turned to the rest of the vampires.

“You bitch! You killed my sister!” yelled the twin and charged at Dru. Dru calmly grabbed a broken plank from the trash and staked him to the heart as the vampire exploded to a dust.

“I got her, boss. I’ll handle this bitch.” said the long haired vampire as he charged at her.

He kicked her to the gut as she held her belly painfully, then she felt another strike to her face and bled a little.

“Get ‘er, Alex!” shouted the muscular vampire.

Alex was grinning madly as he was about to finish her. Dru could not lose, not like this. Just remember when Blade taught her how to fight.

Dru reached something from her holster leg, she picked out EDTA and threw a syringe to his chest as the long haired vampire yelled in pain. His body began to swell up enormously and exploded causing the blood splattered on the wall and on the ground.

“What the fuck was that!?” shocked the leader vampire.

“Why don’t you come here and start doing yourself?” asked Drusilla.

“I’ll get her, boss. She’s mine!!” the muscular vampire yelled and charged at her. Drusilla took out a glaive and released the button to reveal the twin blade and threw at the muscular vampire by cutting through his throat, separated from his body and dusted. The glaive returned to Drusilla’s grasp.

The leader growled angrily. “Well, just look at you. You may be a vampire, but I don’t have a soul. I’m the most evil vampire in the world and I shall perish you for killing my comrades. And so, who taught you how to fight, huh?” he asked.

Drusilla smirked, “If you wonder who taught me, I was trained by the daywalker, Blade.”

“Who??”

Then Drusilla attacked the leader, but he blocked her blows just in the knick of time, the leader jabbed to her face but she dodged to the right and roundhouse kicked to his ribs caused him to be sent sailing into the wall.

“You’re gonna pay for this!” enraged the leader charged at her.

He tried to punch her but she dodged every strike and then she brought her knee up into his stomach and hit him on his back with her elbow. Drusilla withdrew a silver stake and stabbed him in the back causing the dust exploded.

Drusilla sighed that the threat was over. Brittney slowly walked toward Drusilla.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked, Drusilla turned around to see Brittney’s cut on her forehead leaking blood down to her eye. The sound of blood pulsating that Drusilla could feel the hunger through her. She resisted and backed away from Brittney.

“Get away from me.” said Drusilla. Brittney hesitated.

[trippydooda]

,,,idk what to say for myself at this point :^) a preview for a slow burn fic get ready again bois

Fandom: ATEEZ

Pairing: Jung Wooyoung/Choi San

Rating: blurb is G unless you don’t like cursing

Word Count: 2,040

Jung Wooyoung, in some people’s eyes, has royally screwed up.

Now, there are levels to that statement, and you can really close your eyes and take a pick at this point. Is it when he flunked out of university? Ran away from home? Didn’t take his dog out when he was ten, and so when he beloved Coo shat on the carpet he was scolded for being a terrible dog? Or perhaps it’s where he finds himself now, pinned to a wall in an alleyway while a stranger humps his leg. Well, he’s hesitant to say “stranger”. They met on Tinder (another screw up to pick from), talked a few days and when Wooyoung got sick of masturbating, agreed to dinner. The thing is, he should have been more careful. The thing is, Tinder doesn’t really have a “swipe left on serial killers” options. Not really, anyway.

He has his reservations about sneaking in an alleyway to make out, but desperation and loneliness made him forget reason. So now his Tinder date’s tongue is down his throat, the taste of wine smeared into his conscience at this point, and a reluctant erection growing in his pants. This is, of course, until his date speaks.

“You humans are all so easy to rile up,” his date whispers into his ear, and Wooyoung can actually feel the ferocity in which his dick deflates.

And Wooyoung tries to respond, push back, has the indignant “Excuse me?” in the forefront of his mouth, but that’s before a sharp piercing is driven into his neck. Precisely two piercings. Followed by the feeling not unlike getting his blood drawn. So maybe he realises it a bit too late.

His Tinder is apparently some kind of vampire, and he’s being murdered. And Wooyung being Wooyoung, his last thought as he crumples to the ground is at least he doesn’t have to pay off his student loans anymore.

                                                           -

There are a few things Wooyoung thought being dead entailed. For one, he was pretty sure it didn’t involve being carried away by a stranger (another one, he reminds himself), nor did it involve the distinct feeling of humanly and living sensation of waking up. Yet he blinks all the same, albeit slowly, staring at a ceiling that looks right out of an Italian romance novel. It’s got carved ivory on it in the shape of angels, so Wooyoung is fairly convinced himself at this point he’s dead. Died, whatever.

“Ah, you’re awake,” a soft voice says, and Wooyoung tenses. He doesn’t look away from the ceiling, tries to figure out if it’s too late to pretend he’s still asleep (if dead people did that) when the voice continues, “I was worried you were too far gone.”

And… What? Wooyoung tears his gaze away from the rather pretty ceiling, sitting up to see an even prettier man. He has soft eyes raven black hair. Pale skin, but there’s still a hint of bronze in the undertones. Yet the nagging feeling of being distinctly dead pries at his conscience, so of course the first thing he blurts is, “Are you an angel?”

The man immediately erupts in a laugh that makes Wooyoung flush. He tells himself it’s from embarrassment and not the way the man laughs, like it’s from the back of his throat. It’s too endearing. Far too. “I’m not sure that’s what mortals call me,” he says, and Wooyoung can feel the precise feeling of the flush disappearing. 

He lowers his shoulders. Mortals, the pretty man had said. That seems to really prove everything Wooyoung needs to know, so he ends up saying out loud, “So I’m really dead then.” He flops back down on the bed, glares at the ivory angels and tries to will his heart to beat slower. But then it strikes him. His heart… Is beating? Do dead people do that? Man, he wishes he had paid more attention in church. 

“I suppose in a sense, yes you are.”

Electing to ignore the hot angel-not-angel, Wooyoung rolls over. He buries his face in the silk of the pillow and pulls the covers up so his head pokes out of a hole like some form of undead burrito. He can hear the man sigh and feels the mattress adjust in the weight of him sitting down, but Wooyoung ignores that too. He feels tears prickling at his eyes and tries to blink them away, but all that serves is to make one fall. And then he feels a hand on his shoulder, which just sends the flood gates open wide. Thankfully Wooyoung has mastered the art of crying silently, but he can still feel the betraying sensation of himself shaking. He hadn’t quite mastered that bit yet.

“I had considered letting you die truly,” the man says, rubbing small circles on Wooyoung’s shoulders. “Your blood was impossibly sweet, it’s hard to get blood like that. But… You had managed to open your eyes, and I just. I couldn’t let it go to waste.”

Wooyoung blinks in confusion. For one, this man is talking rather nonchalantly about Wooyoung’s blood, and in the same breath… Did he compliment him? Still, the man called him dead by all means and so he’s only harbouring a little animosity, so he stays silent. The man sighs, removing his hand. Wooyoung won’t admit he’s a bit sad at it. “I suppose it was a bit selfish of me,” the man explains, “But it’s not like I could have really asked if you wanted it.”

Confusion gets the best of him, so Wooyoung shoots up. “If I wanted what?”

“To be a vampire,” the man replies instantly. 

And Wooyoung just stares. The man stares back. It gets a bit awkward, if he’s honest. “A what,” he finally says, presenting it more of a statement rather than a question.

The man (vampire…?) answers anyway, “Yes.”

It doesn’t help. In fact, none of this is really helping Wooyoung so he just nods silently, lifts a finger. “Right, well, your bed is very comfy and the ceiling is pretty, but I’ll just be… Leaving.”

“I wouldn’t leave the room,” the man says as Wooyoung ungracefully untangles himself and nearly falls on the floor. He ignores the warning anyway, stumbling as if he’s hungover as he makes his way to the door.

He can hear the man let out an exasperated sigh behind him as Wooyoung swings the door open. He meant it to be not as dramatic as it turns out to be, what with the door practically cracking the wall with the force in which it slams against it. Under normal circumstances he’d say sorry, but instead he feels like being a petulant child and stomps out into a barely lit hallway. The whole house seems to scream Victorian, he notices, and is apparently too distracted by a rather regal painting of his angel-vampire, slamming into a hard object. As it turns out, when he looks up, “object” really isn’t the right word, as he comes face to face with another stunningly gorgeous man, one with slightly curled silver hair this time (he’s not sure when he started to categorise hot men by their hair colour, but it seems to fit so far). Gorgeous man number two’s eyes are a deep red as he peers down at Wooyoung.

“Well, it seems San wasn’t exaggerating when he spoke of you,” number two says, flashing a smile and… Fangs. Wooyoung would call them sharp canines, only they’re honestly not and he knows this. It doesn’t stop the undignified squeal of terror that erupts from him anyway. “My, what a voice too,” he continues as Wooyoung swings himself around, darting down the hallway.

More tears tug at his eyes and he hates it, hates how confused he is and how gorgeous men aside, he’s not getting any answers. He eventually slips and falls as he now realises he’s running barefoot, and comes crashing to the ground and through another door. Pain radiates through him, particularly on the side of his neck, and when he looks up he can’t help the, “Oh fucking hell” that falls from his lips.

A whole congregation of people stare at him, dressed in everything from what he swears his grandmother wore in her casket to some God awful neon crop top and matching shorts. They all sort of share this awkward blink session before the neon wearing woman comes up to Wooyoung, who is definitely still sitting ass on the ground, and she leans down. Her eyes are a deep red as well, and at least he’s somewhat prepared for when she exposes fangs as well. 

“You smell awfully pretty, mortal,” she coos, stroking a clawed finger along Wooyoung’s cheeks. 

“I don’t really like girls,” Wooyoung blurts, and the woman just laughs. It’s devoid of any true humour though, especially evident when she cuts into his cheek, drawing blood. Wooyoung is a little glad he still bleeds (he doesn’t think dead people would), but any good feeling is washed away when the woman licks his blood rather enthusiastically off her finger.

What were once red eyes now shift into pitch black, no whites visible, and her fangs protrude more than before when she looks back down. Wooyoung is pretty sure he should get the fuck up even before she snarls, “And to think San would hide such a delicious meal from us.”

So Wooyoung does what he assumes any sane person would do at such a sentence as that, and punches her right in the nose. As she stumbles back and shrieks, Wooyoung springs to his feet with his hands balled up in fists in front of his face, gets ready to run, but someone grabs a fistful of his hair and yanks. He shrieks this time as he’s raised several inches off the ground, and he flails trying to break free of the rather painful grip this person has when he’s twirled around and comes back to face with someone else with black eyes. 

“Some beta bitch isn’t going to drink you, allow a nice alpha to take her place,” this one growls and Wooyoung whimpers. 

He’s promptly dropped on the ground when another person roundhouse kicks this one in the side, but before Wooyoung hits the floor he’s caught, but when he peers down at another clawed hand he’s pretty sure he’s not saved by any means. “Hands off you filth,” his catcher growls right back, “Something as precious as this one needs to be drank by royalty.”

“Royalty!” The woman from before barks, “I’ve never heard such bullshit before! Unhand the omega and I’ll consider not killing you too.” 

Wooyoung doesn’t get much of a chance to ask why in the hell these people are talking about ranks of wolves before the whole room erupts in screams and arguments. He catches some rather unsettling words such as “halfling”, another “omega”, “virgin”, before they all just fall silent. Wooyoung, who was being passed around like some crude game of hot potato, is finally let go in earnest, although the only thing it gifts him is a hard drop on the ground again. His neck pulsates and he brings a hand to it as he swivels around to see why he was finally spared.

It seems two people have rather dramatically entered the room, and Wooyoung sort of hates that he recognises them. It’s Gorgeous Number One and Gorgeous Number Two, and the first looks only a little displeased. Wooyoung isn’t sure how he noticed before, but this man has brilliant red eyes as well. Only they flash to a piercing yellow when he peers down at Wooyoung, who suddenly feels just so small. The second one trails slowly behind, hands in his pockets as he nonchalantly looks around at the room of people who Wooyoung was sure were just arguing at who got to kill him. Nothing is making sense.

He barely notices when the first man kneels down at him, eyes back to a softer shade of red. They stay that way only a moment before they fade now into a more normal looking brown, and he smiles. “I told you it wasn’t a good idea to leave the room.”

[slothcritic]

Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Episode 9 Review

Consistently funny. The weak points do not drag this episode down.

The Set Up begins with a great cold open. Piccolo is drop-dead unconscious on the ground, Gohan is desperately trying to wake him up, and Krillin is anxiously awaiting for Goku to show up. After all, he’s their friend who would never let them down right? Meanwhile... Goku is busy eating at Jadoshin's palace. Even as a departure from the original series, I like the idea that the two of them made up and are friends now. Jadoshin, however, has to remind Goku about the Saiyans. Goku then runs out in a panic.

[Title Sequence]

Piccolo isn't getting up and Nappa needs a new toy. He chooses Gohan seemingly at random from the two remaining, and floors him in one kick.

"Wooo! Not me!"

When Krillin isn't being the resident Milhouse, he's the rimshot comedian. The joy doesn't last for much longer though, as Gohan stays down.

Nappa is about to tear Krillin a new one, when the bald monk suddenly screams out that it's his turn. And for some glorious reason, this actually works on Nappa. This is some straight up Looney Tunes, "Duck Season, Fire!" type tomfoolery.

Vegeta does not handle Nappa's stupidity very well, and in his anger does a fourth wall break where he references a timestamp in the video. This is kind of clever and a bit of a break from the other fourth wall jokes that they've done so far, but I feel like it could lose its charm if it's done more than once. As for the timestamp itself, which is at 9:18 in the video... we'll get to that later.

Krillin decides to use the Destructo-Kienzan, and Vegeta shouts a warning to Nappa that it's a trick.

"But Vegeta... tricks are for kids."

The tense background music just completely stops here, but you can still hear the vibrations of the kienzan in the background. Great sound design. The long pause afterwards is also well timed, and Vegeta takes up the "fuck it, you wanna die, then die." mentality with Nappa. This skit is succinct, well paced and well editied.

Nappa receives a deep cut to the face for his troubles, as it just nearly takes his head off. Nappa laments his modeling career, and the scene cuts to a photoshopped rendition of Nappa on Vogue magazine. The bald, beautiful Saiyan, and his 10 tips on being a better lover!

This might have been a joke before its time, or perhaps the intention was different while writing this in 2009, but Nappa shows us all what a "nice guy" he was trying to be during all of this, and now decides "okay, full ultra-violence it is!" and fades Krillin with a white sparkly angel dust attack. I'm sure it has an actual cool sounding name (Like "Galaxy Breaker" or something) but I'm going to keep calling it the white sparkly angel dust attack. The owned counter ticks up to 8 here, but it doesn't feel deserved.

Piccolo jumps up with an "I'm back" and shoots Nappa... in the back. He sees what you did there. Just as Piccolo and Nappa are about to throw down, Gohan appears out of nowhere and roundhouse kicks him through a boulder. More indication that Gohan has some incredible hidden power inside of him. This surprises Piccolo, and Gohan is initially apologetic, but Piccolo begs for him to stay angry before Nappa just as quickly hops back to his feet.

It turns out Gohan hit Nappa so hard that he turned Italian. Seems a little out of left field, but why not. The "I'm a firing my laser" reference is perhaps the most dated thing I've seen since Episode 1. Would this even count as a meme? Wasn't "Firin Mah Laser" something that came out before the word meme even became popular as a way of describing internet fads, jokes, templates and trends? Back when Demotivational Posters and I Can Haz Cheeseburger ruled the internet? Truthfully, I loved this joke when it came out, but now all it does is remind me of the proto-internet days. And part of me feels weird for being nostalgic about that, because I just know someone in their 30's is going to read this and roll their eyes saying "Oh God, I'm getting old", in much the same way I'll feel horrified when people start to become nostalgic for Fortnite in the next 10 or 20 years.

Back to the episode, Piccolo's sacrifice happens right about here, and the scene does a good job of pointing out a plot contrivance in the source material. Piccolo could have just grabbed Gohan and moved out of the way. Though the scene plays up the amount of time Piccolo had to work with, there was still nothing stopping him from just grabbing him and chucking him like a bag of potatoes out of the way, even in the original. However, if Piccolo doesn't die, there's no real reason to go to Namek. What I think might be a more practical reason is that, this is a turning point for Piccolo as a character where he starts thinking emotionally. It's no real secret across both the canon and the abridged material that Piccolo is actually a pretty decent parent. So this right here is the idea of Piccolo more or less abandoning rational thought and considered only protecting Gohan. That contrasts a little with the ruthless, methodical, cunning, intelligent character he's been shown to be, just to throw that all away to save him, but the contrivance definitely becomes less egregious when you consider these factors.

However you want to address it, then end result is that Piccolo sacrifices himself to protect Gohan. In the original this is capped off with Piccolo comparing Gohan to his son, which is what Gohan begins to explain before Piccolo calls him a nerd. In this series however, Piccolo laments one final time:

"Why... didn't you... DODGE!!!"

Bleh. And with Piccolo's death, Kami is soon to follow. He explains the Namekian Dragon Balls to Mr Popo, and the long (very long) journey that must be undertook in order to revive everyone, but Mr Popo outright refuses and simply reminds Kami of the pecking order. Kami dies, and thus the Dragon Balls become inert.

Back at the battlefield, Vegeta was busy reading an issue of that very same Vogue magazine with Nappa on the cover and thus didn't see him kill Piccolo, like a mother three sangria's deep at her kid's soccer practice.

I've never much cared for Gohan's exasperated expletives in this or any scene in DBZA. This one in particular doesn't sit well with me simply because they went to the effort of being purposefully verbose but then still chose to use the word "condom" over "contraceptive" - A condom is made of latex, whereas a contraceptive is any kind of device at all that prevents pregnancy. As an example, some of the first contraceptives in history were made from linen and animal intestines, while the condom itself wasn't invented until 1855. Gohan specifically saying he's going to use Nappa's intestines as a condom serves the same purpose either way, but “contraceptive” would’ve been more technically accurate, in a bit of dialogue that is purposefully trying to be technically accurate. I wouldn't be picking on the semantics so much if that weren't the express purpose of this entire scene. Also it has more syllables and therefore sounds more smarterer.

Nappa gives this scene the backhand and the "bitch please" it deserves and we're done with that.

"Everyone important to you is dead." "Hey I'm still alive--" "EVERYONE important." "...Damn it."

See, this is where the Krillin Owned count should have gone up.

After Nappa doesn't smash, Goku appears on the battlefield. His reaction to showing up too late and everyone being dead is uncharacteristically deadpan, and it's hilarious. He asks where Chiaotzu is, and Krillin gives him the Achmed the Dead Terrorist explanation. Over there, over there, and up there. I'm not actually sure if this episode predates Jeff Dunham or not, but I enjoy both, both used the same joke at least once, and both make me laugh so I'm drawing the comparison anyways.

Goku asks why everyone is dead and Nappa immediately and without hesitation calls dibs. This leads into one of most famous and iconic scenes, if only for meme reasons, in all of DBZ.

"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level?" "It's... 1006." "Wha-- Really?" "Yeah. Kick his ass, Nappa!"

Not gonna lie, this genuinely made me burst into laughter the first time I saw it. I don't know if it was just shock value or what, but it doesn't have the same effect now that I know it's coming every time I rewatch this episode. I just love the idea of the scouter being upside-down and Vegeta not questioning it. An even better headcanon is that the scouter was never upside-down, Vegeta was just getting tired of Nappa's bullshit and just decided to send him into an ass-kicking anyways.

We're treated to a solid 15 seconds of Nappa getting completely curbstomped while the various characters look on in shock and awe, until Nappa gets dumped at Vegeta's feet.

It's also here that Vegeta finally learns that Piccolo's life is directly intertwined with the Dragon Balls. I believe this was already established in the original series, but no such conversation ever occurred here. Vegeta has quite simply lost his chance at immortality and it’s all because of Nappa.

I actually wonder how an immortal Saiyan would work. They receive a Zenkai boost, which makes them stronger when they almost die, but if you can't ever die, you can't ever “almost” die either, so you wouldn't get the Zenkai boost and your power wouldn't increase that way. Then again, most expectations of logic or consistency within Dragon Ball are pretty much always doomed.

Speaking of doomed, remember that timestamp at 9:18 that Vegeta referenced earlier? Because Vegeta certainly does, and with both the camel’s and Nappa's back having officially been broken, Nappa is sent to the shadow realm in a blinding flash of light and a massive explosion.

Vegeta's smirk is all we needed to close out this episode. There is no stinger.

Conclusion

Really good episode, actually. I wouldn't consider it as strong as Episode 7, but it definitely holds the same energy throughout. There are more high quality comedic moments in this episode than I could count on both hands. At worst some of the dialogue was uninteresting, pointless or overproduced, but the average pace of this episode rests rather highly compared to its valleys.

Microphone quality and sound mixing on some pieces of dialogue is still meh. Krillin's first line in this episode peaks the audio or something similar, because it takes me out for a hot second just because it's so sudden and emphatic.

We also see a slight evolution in the dynamic between Vegeta and Nappa which keeps things fresh. This is becoming less of a deadpan snarker and over the top clown, treads more into the ticking time bomb territory which is great for slowly building tension, and not unjustly as it has a satisfying payoff.

Plot holes in the original are addressed and lampooned here, creative jokes such as the Vogue Nappa and “1006″ are present and accounted for, and on the whole there's a lot of very on the mark humor, and only some of it is overdone. The story for this episode also holds significant weight and momentum, and it all blends together quite well with an above-average script and some great visual and audio edits.

Score: 77

Passing Thoughts

"Riiiiiicola!" - Oh hey, it's this again.

"Oh and I totally killed that guy. Oh well, at least we still had fun getting here, right Vegeta? Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vege-- AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

[takenbyemrys]

The first time Harley walked into Stark tower he automatically rolled his eyes. So fucking extra. He didn’t waste time telling Tony his thoughts. When he sauntered over to the reception desk, the woman smiled warmly.

“What can I help you with?” She asked.

“Well, your smile was just enough, but I was told to wait here for Mr.Stark.” His southern drawl couldn’t help but remember his manners for him. The woman raised an eyebrow at his statement.

“You must be the new one then.” She smirked.

“The new one?” He asked.

“Tony Stark seems to have a penchant for adopting unassuming sarcastic assholes. Who are somehow ridiculously endearing.” She told him frankly. Harley barked out a laugh and leaned against the desk.

“PENIS Parker,” they heard from a large tour group entering the lobby. Harley saw the woman look at them, a glare on her face.

“Someone you know?” Harley asked.

“It seems that the other one, Peter is his name, had a field trip today, to the tower.” She continued glaring at the group.

“I thought we were unassuming sarcastic assholes?” Harley smirked. Kelly rolled her eyes.

“Well yes, but i believe you are more assuming than he is. He just kind of burst sometimes with sarcasm, but most of the time he’s honestly like a puppy. Very endearing.” She glared as she heard the shout twice more. “Oh there’s Mr.Stark.”

When Tony started casually talking to one of the students, Harley was a little shocked. She talked back to Tony just as much as he did. When she called him a murder child and sent him an approving smirk, he was a little intrigued. Who the fuck was this kid? He would be the first to admit he didn’t play well with others, and he did admit it, but this kid was like an enigma and they hadn’t even met yet. He listened to Tony as threatened that kid, and his stomach dropped.

Maybe MJ was right and he was ‘ordered’ to be here for like a glorified play date. Harley apparently had a bit different grasp on his and Tony’s relationship. MJ nudged him in the side. He looked over with an effortless smirk.

“Peter might be a murder child sometimes, but most of the time he’s stupidly soft and trusting. I get why that idiot wants you two to get along. The two teenagers in training for his legacy should… get along.” MJ smirked again. “But if you hurt him in any way you will most likely die.”

“Are you going to kill me?” Harley asked, more curious than anything.

“Nope, you’ll see who when you get upstairs.” MJ said.

“Wait training for his legacy?” Harley turned back to her. She just rolled her eyes.

“Wow you three are idiots. You definitely need me and Pepper.” Harley tuned back in as Tony turned back to MJ. He was interested. Did he want to be a complete asshole? Or did he want to try and get along? He knew he wasn’t good at it, but he’d try he supposed. Just for a day, to see if he liked the kid.

When Tony led him to the elevator he was still a bit lost in thought, so he turned his new badge over in his hands before slipping it into his wallet.

The first time Harley Keener laid eyes on Peter Parker, his first thought was Oh fuck. Followed quickly by Well i guess i owe MJ $50. The elevator door opened onto the training room 4 floor, and it was the whole floor Harley was surprised to see. But even more surprising was the literal god that was sparring with Black Widow. His sweatpants were riding low on his hips and sweat was glistening on his unclothed abs. Harley’s jaw dropped slightly at the sight, his mouth filling with saliva. They weren’t really sparring as much as dancing. Natasha would drop and sweep his legs, but before she mad contact he was already flipping over her. Harley was 100% fucked.

“Harley?” Tony nudged him in the side, staring at him incredulously. Harley focused on the man, but didn’t say anything. Tony asked him a silent are you okay? Harley nodded and focused on the fight. The boy had soft brown curls that Harley desperately wanted to feel and an incredibly sharp jawline.

“Ударь меня, маленький паук!(Hit me, little spider)” Black Widow yelled. The answering smirk went straight to Harley’s dick.

“Но мама паук, это веселее. (But mother spider, this is more fun)” He snarked back and flipped away as Natasha tried to attack again.. And welp, speaking another language apparently turned Harley on, who fucking knew.

“Pete, stop playing with your food. We have guests and we can’t quit until someone’s down.” Another voice yelled. Harley’s head snapped around and he saw the fucking Winter Soldier smirking at him. Scarlet Witch was also with him, but she was watching the fight intensely.

“О, я знаю, как еще я могу впечатлить горячего нового интерна? (Oh i know, but how else can I impress the hot new intern?)” Peter yelled.

“На самом деле пытаясь убить меня. (Actually trying to kill me.)” Natasha and Peter circled each other, matching smirks on their faces.

“Попробуйте новые шаги, которые я показывал вам на прошлой неделе.(Try the new move I showed you last week)” Scarlet Witch yelled from the side. Peter grinned. He leaned back on his haunches before springing forward. Harley watched in awe as his ab muscles contracted. Natasha doged easily and spun so that now Peter’s back was facing Harley. Natasha swung her fist, and Peter leaned back like he was doing the fucking limbo. Wow fucking flexible. He leaned so far back that their eyes met, and oh fuck, yep, that was a wink.

Peter seemed to finally be done ‘playing with his food’ as the winter soldier had said. One arm hit the floor and his legs flung up, winding around Natasha’s waist. Without using his other arm for strength, Peter pulled Natasha to the ground, flipping her over his body. Wow never has Harley ever wished to be Natasha Romanov more.

When Natasha hit the ground, she immediately used the momentum to continue, sending her sliding out of Peter’s grasp. He was on his feet now, sending a roundhouse her way, but she fucking caught it and flung his leg away.

“Peter, stop pulling your punches. That the deal with family day.” The Winter Soldier all but growled. Peter rolled his eyes, but in less than a second he was sending her another kick with his other leg. Harley expected her to catch it again, but it sent her flying across the gym and into a stack of mats. Harley couldn’t help his jaw dropping again. No wonder this kid was being trained to take over the fucking Avengers. Peter’s eyes widened and he immediately sprinted to the mats. He stuck out a hand and she took it, pulling herself up.

“Сожалею! Я не хочу делать тебе больно! (Sorry! I didn’t want to hurt you!)” Peter said. Natasha hip checked him.

“That was good! Let’s go again!” She exclaimed. Tony cleared his throat, drawing attention to them again. Natasha rolled her eyes.

“It’s family day.” She said, but strode over to them. Peter followed but with more of a swagger.

“And I will leave you fucking murder…” Tony stopped. Harley snorted.

“I think the word you’re looking for is murder children.” He supplied with a satisfied grin. Peter snickered.

“Natasha,” she introduced. “Bucky and Wanda over there.” They both jerked their chins. “This is Peter.”

“Oh I know,” Harley smirked. Peter raised an amused eyebrow. Tony’s eyes whipped back and forth between the two of them.

“But I don't have the pleasure of knowing yours.” The corners of Peter’s lips twitched, holding back the playful smirk. His arms were folded over his chest, accentuating those fucking biceps.

“All ya had ta do was ask darlin’. The names Harley.” He couldn’t help the dip in southern drawl. He sent Peter a cheeky wink.

“What.” Tony said, looking between them. Peter rolled his eyes.

“Did you want anything else Tony?” Peter’s hip cocked out in impatience. Wow those hips bones were sharp, damn Harley was so screwed. Tony groaned.

“I hate family day, you always get an attitude. Yesterday it's Mr.Stark and then moms around so it becomes ‘Tony’. Fine, go back to being murder children. Harley come on, we have to see Pepper.” Tony turned back to the elevator. “Oh crap, I forgot. Your schools here. And their tour leads them to this training room. Just so that you know.” He called as he walked.

“Tell Pepper that you owe me a new pair of shoes.” Natasha grinned.

“See ya around darlin’.” Harley kept eye contact with Peter, a smirk on his lips, as he walked backward toward the elevator.

“Not if i see you first.” Peter winked again. The last look Harley got was the swaying of Peter’s hips as he walked back into the middle of the gym.