#like at a relative’s house or whatever
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“microdosing leaving a situation by going to the bathroom” was so game changing like yeah I really do this all the time
#see also: by washing the dishes#see also: by starting a pot of coffee#when I was younger I’d literally just go in some bedroom and sit facing a wall for a few minutes#like at a relative’s house or whatever#at my grandparents’ I’d go into the laundry room#no one has ever called me out for it
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electing to believe this is what griddlehark looks like to everyone else
#like i could go into my thoughts on bodymodification in domincus and how i think#light eyes/non-brown eyes are infinitely more common now#despite the fact there still seems to be adhesion to the relative norm (natural eye colors#yellow eyes being both unique to the populace of canaan house and unique enough that#gids lineage can be determined via#DESPITE the fact that while theoretically it would be a superficial change#john seems to have inadvertently changed his own genetics to do it? making it something a necromancer Could Do?#idk. whatever#the locked tomb#thoughts from the stars#1k#2k#3k#shout out to my first post to hit#4k#5k#sighs#6k
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i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…
#the whole setting is jb hanging out in the rock post war#and tyrion became lord of the westerlands / the rock is his but he’s off doing stuff in kingslanding and jaime is just filling in for him#atm . but after tyrion comes back his original plan WAS he’ll get married to brienne right away and they can move back to tarth or be#travelling hedge knights together or whatever brienne wants to do he’s down for it. but the important thing is that he wants to stay with#her .. so he’s using the time they have together currently to court her bc she deserves that at least !!#so jaime goes off trying to court and woo brienne but she just thinks they’re hanging out bc they got relatively close in the war#so jaime being touchy feely isn’t anything new. jaime making innuendos and being kinda flirty isn’t anything new either#but this time he means it LOL he’s like I want to kiss you SO badly and brienne will be like lol silly jaime (:#I was also thinking they’d help rebuild lannisport just bc it’s a time for healing now and it would be good for the people to get to know#jaime and the lannisters in general bc of how they would just used to sit high above the rock looking down on everyone#but now jaime is like. actively helping and being known and being with the people rather than just being that absent distant lord#also he’s thinking he might as well try and foster some relationship with the commoners to his house bc it’s for tyrion anyway#so he’s off doing that and brienne is tagging along bc she does not want to go home yet#she wants to stay with him and she’s helping out as an excuse to stay a little longer but she doesn’t exactly want to leave him#but how do you tell someone that and ignore the big glaring part that she’s actually in love with him and the fact that they both survived#the war is getting her hopeful???? u want her to admit that?? like a normal person??? no..!!#so she’s just staying and helping out bc a) it’s the sensible thing to do b) so she can bask on the sun that is Jaime Lannister#for like a few more days. weeks. maybe a month bc the weather is soooo bad in the stormlands rn 🙄😳#anyway jb hanging out! and everything is going well and good but jaime is now getting popular w the people and he’s also looking quite#rugged and handsome post war now that he’s thirty flirty and thriving and he also has a new scar across his lip that makes his#smirks even more ! rogueish … ! and he looks quite nice with the greying hair 👀 so now there’s gossips around him#not to mention he’s single too and I think if you were one of the heroes who helped win the war they’ll forget the kingslaying#man with no honor business so lo and behold brienne eavesdrops a group of ladies bc she’s a chismosa at heart and they’re talking about a#potential marriage for a lord lannister (!!!) and there’s going to be a big tourney held in Kingslanding for it (!!!)#and brienne remembers jaime mentioning the ought to go to Kingslanding in the next few weeks (!!!) and now she’s remembering jaime IS a#lord though not theee lord of the westerlands STILL a lord from one of the seven houses and he’s single and very eligible for marriage rn#and now she’s realising everything is returning back the way it was before the war where society rules matters and she has her own role as#now the evenstar bc rip selwyn and jaime has his own role too and the court is a whole different battlefield#one that she isn’t equipped in and even though she had found some new confidence in herself bc killing a bunch of ice invisible zombies#with your own magic sword will do that for you she doesn’t think (and she’s being objective not negative) she stands a chance in THAT
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I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs
Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this
Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU
SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.
so. 1) not a violation
I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw
I have disputed the fact of the violation
I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH
So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)
OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket
#it's a relatively privileged problem to have (omg i have a home truly i am grateful) but it's still a goddamned problem and i'm allowed#to fucking complain about it#in case it needs to be said#*rolling my eyes*#i advocate for free/actually affordable housing for everyone who needs it because we ALL deserve a safe secure stable home#whatever type of home that may be#it is absolutely goddamned ridiculous that megacorps can buy all the housing#rent it out at extortionate rates and evict people willy nilly#and we're talking about a “housing crisis” and not a “STOP LETTING CORPORATIONS AND BILLIONAIRES HOARD ALL THE HOUSING” crisis#goddamn.#ha elect me president (ahaha don't do this i am not a good public speaker) and I'll push congress to pass some really neat legislation#hey be more direct: elect me to congress (ahaha don't do this) and i'll WRITE some goddamn nifty legislation and yell about it as long and#as loud as i can until people start to just fucking say yes to make me shut the fuck up#(i know that's not how it works. again. don't actually elect me to a government position)#exemplia gratis:#No individual person shall own more than 6 homes UNLESS they pay a Housing Market Shrinkage Fee for removing viable housing from the market#why 6 and not 2? 2 is a lot! it's excessive! but having A vacation home shouldn't be a crime. Having 5 vacation homes is ridiculous and#awful and whatever but it's not likely to be the source of all our greatest “housing shortage” problems. no. I'm aiming for the absolutely#monstrously greedy and egregious motherfuckers who---ok#hang on. how many homes does the average min and max homeowner own? I would like to see data on that. but anyway#the next part of the legislation:#Homes owned >6 shall be charged X% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee UNLESS they are rented for affordable (15% or less than renter net income)#housing and are actively occupied by said renters. Rented out and charging more than 15% of renter's net? still gotta pay up.#EMPTY housing >6 shall be subject to an additional Y% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee (tax? should I call it a tax?) which increases with ever#month that the housing goes unoccupied. no one living in it? sell it rent it or pay the fuck up. and still pay the fuck up if you rent it#for way too goddamn much money#but like. less. we only REALLY hate you if you sit on empty houses that you don't even let anyone use#ok that's individuals. now onto BUSINESSES#ok so immediately it gets a little complicated cuz like presumably there's rental management businesses that don't own the rental propertie#that they manage BUT there are also companies that just outright own a shitfuckton of housing and THIS is the truly egregious monstrous sid
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sneepy cozy time....
#cats#longing to one day hopefully feel sleepy cozy like this again...#There was a pretty cool week here so I thought we had progressed closer to cool fall weather but... NO#..wrong!! It's like 80F in my room right now and was 98F outside yesterday. We get two more 'cooler' days and then#it starts going up again and will be in the high 90s possibly 100 something later this week#in my mind september should be COOOOOLLLL!!!!! or at least STARTING to get there.. Like mid 80s at the highest.#I am going to explode the world with evil wizard powers aaRGHaaHHHHHHHH#OR at least it should get down really low at night. I think thats the main thing is if it's 95 in the day and only 62 for like 3 hours in#the middle of the night then even leaving a fan in windows all night is not enough to fully cool down the house because its just not#enough cold air or cool for long enough. If it were 98 in the day but 15F outside at night then you could probably bring cool air inside al#night and your house would be at a relatively low starting point for the next days heat.#Like for example - in my apartment on a hot and sunny day. Even with every window#closed and blocked off with thick layers of reflective stuff and also not using the stove or doing anything to generate heat - the apartmen#will still go up on average about 6 - 8 degrees in one day. Peaking around 8 - 10pm night time. If I start off with the house cooled down#to 60F. then the highest it would get is 66 - 68 which is tolerable#.But if the lowest I can cool the apartment all night is still only 75F#then it's going to be 81 - 83F by the end of the day. So really it would be bearable (ISH)#for it to be warm as long as it was colder at night.#Though still the IDEAL is to not have to structure my life around envrionmental management and constantly be checking the#outdoor temperature so I can put the fans in the second that it's colder outside than it is inside and putting elaborate curtain systems#up and down at the exact right times and meal prepping 4 days in advance so I dont have to use the stove for 3 days and blah blah blah#Life in the colder weather months is so effortless and breezy in that sense. I can just have the window open all day and get natural light.#I can cook whatever I want. I can wear what I like. I can move around the house freely without needing to always#carry a fan around with me or douse myself in water.#ANYWAY.... oh if only that were me.... snuggled in a warm blanket ... a comforting wintery image...
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1929 — Carlo becomes Moretti's caporegime
#^ it was in my drafts for a long time bc i wanted to redraw both carlo n moretti. dont like how it looks. but honestly? whatever#smth like webweave idk. carlo dont ask stupid questionzzz#“Columns grow over my dilapidated house” <- basically core of all these gangsters who got to climb on -relatively- top#m2#avart#moretti & carlo#this “no: art thou?” fucking haunts me
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so many project ideas not enough ability..........
#libra.txt#hate it when the disabilities are disabling#i wanna write and i wanna draw and i wanna sew and i wanna have money to move out of this awful house#but i can't make money while on disability (or not TOO much money)#(which isn't going to be a problem regardless bc i have never been able to sell anything in my life)#(okay i have been commissioned ONCE. when i was like. 17? i think? idk it terrified me and that's why i don't do commissions!)#but everything i make is for myself first and that typically means no one else cares. yay#sigh. being hard on myself again.#i need to spend time with people that aren't direct relatives#those three days in richmond (while physically taxing for me) were so fun. it's good to see friends#even though there is still of course the persistent niggling 'what if they secretly don't like me but are too nice to say anything'#but that has been a constant since i was 14 so whatever. ugh. just gotta trust them#*I* still care about my friends so until they say it directly i must aggressively tell myself they like me too#sigh. gotta get back to those xc1 designs#why is art so hard. i hate it here
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now that my sisters are hooked on playstation gaming bc they got to try it for a bit i’m like guuuuys if we all pool our money we could invest in a ps5 together… (they want to play the fanciest most realistic games from this decade and i want to play a clunky series that’s older than me)
#y’know that one gag headline#‘huge [game series] fan excited to finally play it’#yeah for those of you who don’t know. i’m a switch only gamer i don’t even have kingdom hearts#i’ve played part of some of the console games at riya’s house but the rest is all lore osmosis bc i refuse to sit through a playthrough#that’s part of why i don’t talk about the ‘main’ games that much lol#only for the subject matter i’m actually confident in#of course i’ve watched lots of the cutscenes from lots of the games#but never in full#just here and there#peach rambles#i know a ps4 would be relatively cheap at this point and still be great#but my concern tbh is that kh4 will be a ps5 exclusive#or otherwise that the ps4 would explode or whatever#i know it’s still better hardware than a switch but. it would seem worth it to invest in a next gen console#especially if i’m only paying part of the cost#i think my sisters being in on playstation gaming might be a game changer bc i really do not need or want one myself just for kh#that’s a ton of money for something that simple#and it’s not a mobile console so i wouldn’t drag it to school anyway#so like. i wouldn’t mind sharing it with my sisters at home
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#this is such a niche gripe i guess idk its why it's in the tags#but i really get so annoyed by how a lot of this fandom acts like they know everything about her especially like where she goes#and what she does in her free time because they think they KNOW about everything but#all you know is what she chooses to show you like specifically paps like...... she calls them. all celebs do. 99.999999% of the time#these days it's how that industry works which i KNOW for a fact but like don't take my word for it if you don't believe me fine#but it's how it is and i can tell you that from professional experience but also like#the amount of friends and people i know who've seen her places all over the city for YEARS now#and there are no pap photos of her in those places nor did anyone know she went to that building/restaurant/bar/event#there are a feeeeeew places in the city which are celeb hotspots and the paps might skulk around there but that's cuz#they are known spots for that and waiters and staff tip them off for profit shares#like i know someone who saw her literally last night at a restaurant#there are no photos of her there and no paps outside#like if you think she doesn't leave the house or go somewhere without you knowing cuz you think she's papped everywhere...#thats just simply not true lol couldn't be FURTHER from true#she goes so many places and does so many things that you just don't know about. it's VERY easy to live a private life in the city#EVEN THIS WEEK she's gone more places than you've seen her getting papped at cuz i know people who've seen her!#i can't tell you the amount of famous people i've come across in these situations and the press and social media were none the wiser#people i've sat next to at a crowded brunch counter or people walking their dog or taking their kid for a bike ride like.... ALL THE TIME#famous people love new york cuz new yorkers don't bother them and they can live in relative obscurity#idk what i'm getting at i guess this weirdness like I AM GONNA SHUT DOWN ANYTHING THAT I DONT HAVE PROOF OF#is so deranged to me because...... you only have ~proof~ of like 10% of her life#so the other 90% of it didn't happen cuz.... you a blogger on the internet don't have photographic evidence of it????#IS THAT NOT THE MOST INSANE THING TO SAY????#idk really weird that people just think they know her and shut down any one who poses something that doesn't fit into their#frankensteined version of her that they made out of a bunch of paparazzi photos and flight trackers and deuxmoi posts taped together#as if THATS somehow MORE sane and a more realized person#idk if i'm making sense i'm annoyed whatever whatEVERRRRR
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took the entire month of august, two and a half bags of gf flour (over thirty dollars. of flour), about five accidental attempts at mass familial poisoning (kept making treats with the discard blissfully unaware that it wasn't actually colonized by yeast yet at all but by other less yummy bacteria [which is why the entire concoction smelled evil]), and several days of cosleeping with the jar (somehow miraculously didn't spill all over the couch/crush it) but my sourdough starter is FINALLY off the ground and healthy and making genuinely sour ass yummy bread. took four times the amount of time and significantly more resources than i expected but i put a little pink bow on her and she's so cute now that i forgive her
#also it was my incompetence the entire time. man i researched SO much but still managed to fuck up also so much. love her anyway. excited to#make discard gf cheezits i miss cheezits#also holy shit having sourdough again almost made me cry.... i missed it i missed that sour shit#SO good. ate the entire giant loaf in three days. medieval ass breadnbutter dinner except my bread isnt shitty seed bread it's yummy#gluten free bread. and my butter isn't expired and is better. sorry medieval peasants#i think i'm going to draw a picture of what the cosleeping arrangement was also bc it was kind of a pain to finagle but she'd#only rise with any degree of swiftness when skintoskin w me#which was kind of a fun bonding thing but also i smelled like sourdough starter for a week#now i've bought a tiny insulated cooler and one of those rubber hot water bottles to put in it so they're insulted from my relatively chill#house#but i need to figure out a way of insulating it further bc it doesn't stay warm for a full 8 hrs....... hmm. well whatever i have a couple#days until feeding day
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every year spotify wrapped just confuses the hell out of me. what is "pov: indie" (why not just indie????) what is "alt z." what the fuck is "hopebeat," is it like "indie poptimism." and where is provo
#i'm always surprised by tswift's ability to worm her way up there esp since i find midnights soooo blah#but she does have a lot of music and i've listened to a lot of it over the years so i guess it adds up in my liked playlist#also surprised by goose house bc like. they broke up like five fucking years ago lmao. how#johnny still uses the label but he's not putting anything new on spotify under the label...#i loved tessa violet's new album and played the shit out of it so her making it up there is not a shock#and revo and maisie peters remain unstoppable every year#top 1% maisie peters fan lol. what does that say about me (i like catchy breakup bops and she sings in my key?)#also griff clawing vertigo up there despite it only releasing in last couple months damn#i did love vertigo though. i did. and i always love fast car#plus i get national parks and jukebox the ghost mixed up allll the time so them being grouped together is funny#anyway yeah i don't know anything about artists genuinely#i just listen to what i like and do whatever#my extended relative has a family spotify plan they put me on as a present since they had a free slot... so it's free for me haha#txt
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i realized how much it scares me that my mind will convince itself of even the ugliest things if i start thinking them often enough and it's... yeah. like i had a good session with my psychiatric rehabilitation therapist i think it was very useful but then at the end i got hit by this feeling of fear... like i'm so scared of myself and how low i can get
#like i convinced myself the only way to deal with my pain and my problems was to attempt suicide so people would know i was suffering#bc i wasn't able to tell them#and i really really for real believed it and i did exactly that and it's very scary to think my mind can get so twisted and believe these#distorted versions of reality or twisted ways to get what i need or all the negative things i think of myself#and like i guess this is just part of working on getting rid of these beliefs. that i'm realising just how deep in them i am and that it#scares me#but it's not a nice feeling. i'm really trying not to judge myself for it that's not useful. i'm still learning how to not judge myself#for every little thing but god it's hard i'm so used to thinking i'm too much or not enough or too emotional or too stupid or inadequate et#just every bad thing under the sun#but even trying my hardest to mantain like a non judgmental view of this issue... the fear is the hardest part rn#it's just... i don't even know who i am? and that's also something we're gonna work on and started to a little#but i don't know who i am and so i just believe abt myself whatever the situation leads me to believe. whatever my bpd leads me to believe#whatever others lead me to believe#and the last one especially is perhaps my biggest issue. i don't know myself and i don't like what “myself” currently is and i live for#other people i live to please others i do things so others will like me or at least not dislike me so i can hate myself less#and really that's no way to live. and this is something this therapist is making me realize and understand#but it's just seriously so.... scary all of this all of this realizing i'm just an empty vessel that i fill up depending on the person i'm#interacting with and that i am.. nothing. like not nothing but like nico is not a formed person. i have molded myself to other ppl's tastes#and needs and if i try to look beyond that there's just this void or at least this question mark#i don't think i have like no personality? but well i do have a personality disorder so that's fucked me up! and it's! aaaa!!#if i think about the things i have convinced myself of by sheer repeating thek to myself all the time in my dark moments...idk#and like it was manageable when the dark moments had reduced and i was relatively okay. but as soon as i got bad again... oh#it started being a constant bombardment of negative talk to myself abt myself and a constant telling myself#well pretty much that there is no worth to be found inside myself. so unless this pain somehow goes away by itself i'll kill myself#that was basically my train of thought every day multiple times a day for months and months#that is scary!!!!!!!! that is so!!!! i'm so#sorry this is a mess. i'm trying not to cry bc i'm at my parents' house and my father's around but. yeah. just lots of feelings#and again it's probably normal i mean talking about these things is good! but feelings are bound to arise and some are hard to deal with#suicide tw#sorry i forgot the tw in my being upset in the moment
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#
#okay so.#in my culture having premonitory dreams is a huge thing right#not just dreams but also just feelings and generally speaking things into being#and its one of those things where you just know what to brush off as superstition and anxiety and what you should pay attention to#i have dreamt about death 2 nights in a row#in a very “abstract'' sense which isnt how my dreams normally are when it comes to these things#but basically the night b4 last i dreamt that (hear me out. stay with me) i was investigating a location for the oiar? the magnus institute#and me and whoever else was there found ourselves in a graveyard and as we tried to leave we met up with an avatar of the end#so i went back and reported that i was ''touched by the end“ i.e. my days were numbered#last night i dreamt about a zombie apocalypse which is something i dream abt relatively often so normally I'd be like whatever#except i woke up and went back to sleep and the dream continued?? how often does that ever happen to anyone#the entire dream took place in my house in my home country and we were basically packing our bags to move somewhere safer#but my dad wasnt home yet from work yet and i was unsettled#and nowwwww im anxious as hell and idk why#could it be nothing? yes. is it most likely nothing? yes#i just wanted to talk abt it#i know i might sound slightly crazy but. yeah#shut up kayla
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think cannibalism should be a thing in menzoberranzan actually, or maybe it is and I haven’t known about it, but it should be a thing amongst the nobles where they eat rival lolth priestesses since they’re lolth’s fave sacrifices anyway. like if we’re all constantly vying for lolth’s approval, and you have these people who actually has her blessing (which is rare) why not….eat them….😳. like eating the priestess of a rival house would be a ritual after you’ve succeeded in bringing their house down as a way to consume lolth’s blessing, and its def an intimidation tactic and def one of the plenty weird shit nobles have done for the sake of playing their power games. maybe they eat males who are in power too if they’ve overstepped their position to remind them of their place in the hierarchy, or maybe matriarchs/nobles eat their favourite bed mate/partner so no one else can have them, kind of like actual spiders. anyway. if menzoberranzan is this immoral lethal and ruthless place cannibalism should def be a thing lol
#I don’t think shri’iia has ate someone tho…. she wasn’t exactly a noble#like my belief is the further away you are from the power game (nobility) the more of a ‘normal’ life you’ll lead#bc you’re not exactly playing The Game. but the normal is like whatever they considered normal down there#obvi it’ll still be dangerous since the city itself is dangerous but it’s less risky than if you actually were in the noble houses#and you’re actively plotting with each other. also with drows lifespans being relatively shorter compared to elves#bc they’re always trying to kill each other like WHY NOT eat each other too!!#let evil women eat people 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️#shri’iia being hidden away is a blessing bc the reason why she’s managed to surpass the average drow lifespan is that she was just locked#off from society and a curse bc she’s going through the psychological torture while she’s isolated lol#anyway. do hc drow nobles eat each other 🫶 and I think slaves/lowborn folks eat each other too esp if food is scarce#but it’s more common in nobility since it’s more of a power play than survival.#firm believer that not a lot of great houses gaf about the welfare of their common people#as long as they served them and did their jobs then they’re fine. who cares if they’re starving#and if they revolted they’d prob get put down. public executions would b a common thing too esp from that book in the drow cache#where punishments should be public… tho that was with lolth traitors I think the definition of traitor could be stretched to anyone who#doesn’t follow their doctrine and I think that word is loosely applied down there and if you want to frame someone with no repercussions#you can just accuse them of betraying lolth and they’ll get punished right away.
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Cdrama Above the River 《江河之上》 airing March 11 - April 1 in primetime on the state TV broadcast channel
LC captioned this picture post with "Don't wear headphones when doing experiments!" (you can listen to my song Can You Be Yourself 《可不可��做自己》 later - shameless plug lol)
So my guess is he's referencing his character's actions. Looks like Nie Wen got himself into some trouble in the lab!
#liu chang#his first primetime drama!#i like that it's not just a cop show but like they're crossing court and law proceedings with cases#concerning the environment so it's like ncis epa essentially#looking at the mdl entry i wasn't sanguine but the show literally tagged him in their post#sometimes the title is translated as 'guard above the river' and i really think the trouble is that the word wanted is 'over'#it's just in english over has so many relative definitions#but yeah they're watching over the yangtze so it's not 'above' as in higher but as in having jurisdiction over#i like this idea of an environmental justice show actually - i'd love to see one set here#obviously liu chang isn't a big character - it's probably like being guest star on csi just one episode or something#but still i can think of actors i came to be enamored if just from a spot on house or csi or whatever - that's good exposure
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if i had a nickel for everytime i get mistaken for a housemaid i'd have two nickels. which isnt a lot but its weird that its happened twice
#is it bc of the way i dress??? what i look like???? what#the most recent occurrence was normal tho a distant relative just thought i was a nanny for my lil brother which is. okay whatever#BUT THE FIRST TIME... 😬😬#was doing a house party and i got up to go wash my plate and this lady just.. put hers in my hand while she was mid convo with someone else#i was like. okay... so i washed her plate as well#then she started talking to my mum and was asking about 'the maid' and my mum was like. “what maid?”#then she pointed to me and my mum broke down#super embarassing for both parties but she was very obnoxious so idgaf#text#personal
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