#like and youll get a lil starter

[mymanymerrymuses]

Who wants Broken Screen Vox??

Maybe your muse finds him, maybe he actively seeks them out

Either way his screen is very cracked and he's vulnerable, open to both being attacked and being helped

[hijackalx]

ASTARION SFW HEADCANONS:

yall he would be so embarrassed by how vampires are portrayed in the media. like enraged 😭😭 he feels like they make him look like a joke and would refuse to watch/read anything with vampires in it bcz nobody ever gets it right. but if modern day tav DID ever get him to watch twilight with them he would be like shrinking into his shirt from secondhand embarrassment AT FIRST but i feel like he would eventually get invested LMAO like u know how dads stand in front of the tv and get stuck there bcz theyre too interested lol that kind of vibe

sooo hedonistic and materialistic like he loves all things luxurious, chocolates, expensive fabrics, comfortable furniture etc. he does NOT want to settle for anything less. but this also means he expects the same for tav 🥰 but he's kind of messy too? like it makes sense with being materialistic bcz eventually youll have lots of clutter. his tent has all kinds of unnecessary shit

hes lowkey sentimental. LOWKEY THOUGH he would never admit it. like if tav ever gave him something like idk, a necklace they found or something and said it made them think of him he'd literally keep it forever and ever. dont call him out on it tho bcz he'll get defensive af 😔 HES SUCH A BABY

tav and him will argue A LOT but thats because he purposely pushes ppls buttons. (nsfw mention) its like foreplay to him and if u read the nsfw section youll see why lol

so sooooo jealous but only if he feels like youre getting too close to someone else. like initially i dont think tav sleeping with someone else makes him jealous bcz of his backstory like he doesnt rlly view sex as something that only happens between two ppl that love each other and thats what would bother him the most. and i think hes only open sexually bcz hes conditioned himself to be that way, like maybe after a while of being with tav it really would start to bother him if they were sleeping with other ppl and he'd eventually want to be exclusive.

also he cares abt tav so much. like he pretends like he doesnt but if they freak him out enough theyll see just how much he worries abt them and wants them safe 😭❤️

love language:

giving = words of affirmation. he loves to call tav pet names and comment on how good they are at things and how good they look etc. he LOVESSS it especially if tav responds to it in any way (physically or verbally) bcz he also loves to tease lol. also dare i say physical touch? like just innocently touching tav all the time. this i feel bcz he (spoiler???) rlly enjoyed the hug during his confession scene and also wants to hold tav's hand after. (end of possible spoiler) like he'll prolly do little things like rub tav's back or caress their face randomly while theyre talking to him lol all very sensual tho hes a very sensual man

receiving = words of affirmation and physical touch lol both in the way i described before. i dont think he would like tav teasing him tho most of the time he gets genuinely pissed off 😹😹😹 hes just a lil short tempered

apparently hes 5'9 but i dont know where thats coming from lol i dont get that vibe he looks pretty lanky i would say between 5'11-6' is more realistic like lets be honest a 5'9 man lured back all those victims for cazador? be so fucking for real 😭😭 also decent muscle tone not scrawny but not SWOLE

ASTARION NSFW HEADCANONS:

lets go girls and gays 👯 for starters i dont really see him enjoying being submissive at all like u had to roll a 15 to even get the mf to say 'please'. i think this is especially because he hates having his autonomy taken away from him but he has a controlling personality in general (he was deciding ppls fates as a magistrate before cazador 🧍🏼like HELLO what the fuck was that 😹😹) . he likes to call the shots BUT i dont think hes selfish (kinda feel like hes a giver lowkey?? are we feeling the service dom allegations ??) he just withholds what tav likes until they do what he wants or theyre good for him. he always remembers to reward them tho 😇

he LOVES BRATS (hence the arguing mentioned before) !!!!!!! theyre his absolute favorite like theres something abt putting someone in their place that turns him on so much. theyre also so fun. he usually does it by being mean and degrading them tho lol. but once they submit to him hes so soo sweet. theyll also get bonus points for calling him something that implies hes above them (daddy, sir, master) but he wont make them. he prolly likes to see if he can make them do it voluntarily for an ego boost lol.

hes sadistic in the sense that he likes to “hurt” tav but not in extreme ways. he likes them too much for that. like he'll pull their hair and choke them (bite them) or something but he wont cause them horrific pain if u catch my drift. i still feel like hes into seeing them cry tho lol like if they go to him for a shoulder to cry on he'll try to act sympathetic but he'll also pop a boner HELP HES THE WORST

takes forever to cum like bro 🙄 I GOT RUG BURN ON MY PUSSY !!!! also has a very attractive pp probably 6-7 inches? like its textbook perfect. upwards curve. pink tip. shall i go on.

he wont do this to a one night stand but if he likes tav enough he'll want to mark or claim them in some way. like leaving bite marks and bruises EVERYWHERE or even cumming inside them.

also not as kinky as u would think like keep ur questionable kinks away from this man he will judge so hard. MAJOR kink shamer. in short no u cannot piss on him lmao leave peepaw alone

aftercare with him depends. at first its rlly cold and u get corny rehearsed lines and he cant wait to go sleep by himself 😭😭😭 BUT after he catches feelings hes very attentive and will help tav clean up. also will prefer to stay with them until morning.

[hells-fvry]

im tried as hell after work but fuck it like this for a lil starter, specify muse or youll probs get husk uwu

[chowtrolls]

I never talked abt Jamison but i love him so much….he fuckin died, right? Lost his arm, died, nearly killed his kid, big ole accident. And Soot- who is a multidimensional goddess of birth and death btw- was like “hey if you do my bidding, ill revive you” and he said YES DUH? So she did. Her bidding was literally like “find this cat, and kill people for me.”

So whatever. Except Shadow was literally living in his house, like Shadow was his fucking pet. Eventually Soot finds out and is like UM HEY? So boom, woe demon be upon you to observe. The thing w Soot’s like “demons” is they’re feeding off your biggest insecurity and fears. Jamison…doesnt fucking care?? Like this lil bitch in his head is now like “boohooo your husband divorced you!! your son hates you!! youll never be a doctor!! youre all alone and miserable!!!!” And Jamie goes “dont forget my wife disappeared under mysterious circumstances. can you pass the salt.”

Eventually Jamison gets annoyed and he tricks the demon into losing a bet and dying by facing his insecurities. Aka he fucking reached out to his ex-husband. Who was like, dude idc it was years ago, youve changed. Can you pay child support now. But Jamison KNEW Grey would be like that- the demon DIDNT. The demon bet that Grey would hate him because the demon knew everything about their divorce and knew how much Grey HAD hated Jamison. The demon DIDNT know that David, their son, had starter talking to Grey about what happened, and also didnt know that Grey doesn’t hold grudges

And Jamison never cared about killing people because he was already lowkey doing it at his job anyways, he just got to reap the benefits of it now :) AND he got to live to see his son become famous and meet his granddaughter :)

[kritharaki]

Rating plants ive personally owned/ own on a scale of 1- 10, 1 being sucks i hate it and it also died for no reason and 10 being i love it and it is flourishing with my at times shitty care

1. Dracaena fragrans nr1

The one that looks a bit like a bamboo palm tree. Solid 7/10 i think she is pretty and you usually can tell exactly when she needs water because her leaves curl. However has had little to no growth since i got it and i cant figure out why, -3 for that

2. Dracaena fragrans nr2

The one that looks like a palm without a stump. 10/10 ive been trying to kill it for over a year and it refuses to die. That could be spite. But she is very recomendable i think... top five things she survived so far being 1.overwaterd cause if i have water leftover she gets it 2 sunburned. I forgot her outside after repotting. 3 being dropped. Standing in the darkest corner of my room 4. Being dropped. Again. 5. Forgot to water it for like two weeks cause ive moved it to another room . I would give it a -5 for personality because im mad at her but that is personal between me and her.

3. Succulents

All of them. No matter if purple or greenish. 2/10 some people love them, i hate them. idk what im doing wrong but so far ive had five? And only one of them still is alive. Either they rot or dry out. Idk who recommends them to beginners i hate them.

4. Cacti

Nice. 9/10 i dont like them because they are spiky and im an idiot, but they really are not easy to kill. One time i overwatered one and it got mushy, but since it still is alive over two years later i guess it doesnt count. They really are a great starter plant i think because they survive on very little care, and if you grow out of being a beginner you can get to the more challenging ways of caring for catci (that still are quite simple i think)

5. Monstera deliciosa

9/10, i think they can be quite tricky but only if you dont believe in yourself. They also are easy to propagate which always is a huge plus. U get more plants out of one. Its genius i love it. I got mine at ikea and on god it has doubled in size in like a year???? They should get extra points for looks because they are really nice and green

6. A yucca palm

9½/10 Idk..... ive had to repot it once but idk if it has even grown since i got it. Its a very nice and easy planta nd it looks good but doenat have much action to talk about. I wouldnt know how to kill it either so id consider it a nice starter. The very bottom leaves get yellow and krispy but that apparently is normal so no need to worry, thats just how it grows.

7. Gummy tree

6/10 i worry about it all the time even though it doesnt do anything that should worry me. But it has very few leaves so it cant loos that many which gives it a feel of walking on thin ice. Stressful. Very pretty tho should get extra points. Also remind me to ask my grandma for tips because hers is literally 60 years old.......... so maybe its like the monstera you just gotta believe in yourself

8. Orchids

I have got two, a purple ikea one and a papophilium or some shit. 4/10 They are really pretty especially the pap,,, paep,,,, the expenisive-ish one❤ but i hate them. What do they want. No that isnt true the ikea one... well ive accidentally overwatered it right after buying it because i didnt realize the pot it came w had no drainage which then lead to me removing both soil and half the now moldy roots. And orchids dont need soil so id just put it in a cup of water every once in a while...... that is really easy to forget tho and now shes dry and shrively :( the expensive one i accidentally let it stand in a saucer of water and now theres mushrooms in the soil thingy which is bad i think. Gets extra points for also surviving being dropped twice

9. Spider plants

My beloved. 10/10

I got one from ikea but then decided the single plants in the pot were to overcrowded so i took them out and seperated it into three. I probably ripped half the roots but they survived and now are flourishing. One of them has an offshoot going on rn, which leads me to the other two i have, my mom got me them as cuttings from her office plant and i left them in just water for at least third a year oops. They started getting a lil moldy so i planted them and now they are going strong again. Love. They also are really easy to propagate because offsphoots are everything but rare in an older(ish) plant, and also really easy to grow from there. Another one id consider a good beginner plant because all they want is water and a place on the windowsill. The latter is optional too but they do get nicer there i think. Ig they also wouldnt say no to the occasional fertilizer but again they do not need it i think.

10. Pileas

7/10, almost killed my big one by putting it into a too big pot AND shady place at all the same time. In the midst of winter. Cant recommend it. Have now put it back into a smaller pot and shes flourishing again. The small one i have i cant say much about. She does her job and is very smol. Also worth mentioning is you dont have to water pilea babies more than big ones it makes them mold <\3. I think its an easy plant if you dont fuck around to much. Propagating them can b really easy too because the offshoots just. Grow there. And u ideally have to cut them and put them in water. The last time i tried this was winter. Bad idea doesnt work. Trying it again rn ig ill update this section accordingly.

11. Clusia rosea

6/10 ive too put her into a too big pot cause i dont have an intermediate one so she looks stupid now. Has grown a lil since i got it 2 years ago, but thats fair cause i dont really care for her that greatly. Mediocre to me idk

12. Peperomia polybotrya

0/10 so far its getting yellow and i cant figure out why. Need to google how to care for them.

13. Venus fly trap

7/10 Doesnt work anymore idk why :((..... a bit sad but ive moved her to the bathroom that usually helps. They really are a cool gimick and theoretically very easy to take care of, you literally just gotta make sure its in water amd standing in a sunny place at all times. I think mine might be lacking fertilizer or maybe just humidity. We will see, ill update this section too

14. Nepenthes

9/10, mine had a rough start cause i interpreted 'keep in humid place ' as 'spray with water every day' so i overwaterd her. She lost all her pitchers but i now know they just do that in winter. Unless u have a growlight. She has been moved to the windowsill in the bathroom now and is flourishing there :))

15. 3 bonus tips

1) dont propagate plants in winter unless you have grow lights or want them to die. Or live somewhere really warm maybe

2) cheap plants r not inherently worse than expensive plants (now i dont own any expensive plants but since my cheapish once work fine........yk) but especially plants from like. Chain stores like ikea often need to be repotted shortly after buying..... ive heard its a marketing thing cause if you dont do it they just get yellow and ugly and youll have to buy a new one yk. But repotting them is manageable i think so its fine you just gotta know it ig.

3) if somethings going wrong for no reason and you have a window in your bathroom put the plant there it usually helps a lil. And if it doesnt well than at least the plant dies in a peaceful place...... jk theres probably several great checklist online tho that might help you find the cause of it so dont despair <33