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#like all good partners should
aceshighaceslow · 9 months
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Probs my fave in game bit
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inkskinned · 1 year
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she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let
and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment
and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.
and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment
and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?
to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.
and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.
you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.
#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now#writeblr#you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like#u don't HATE their partner explicitly#but ur like. what the fuck y'all#like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic#and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like#frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....''#and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her.#all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it#or ... that it really IS good#and it's just odd to you#tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship#like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend#it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time#around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like#.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond.#so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think#but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something#but knowing you CANNOT#idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person#edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up#PS EDIT: btw i should have said:#the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every#type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''
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wolfythewitch · 1 month
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oh you're aroace :3 I don't mean to pry but, how like, did you figure it out ? or maybe how is it like? I'm pretty sure that what I m but it's... been confusing me for a while I just don't know how to know if that makes any sense TvT
Anyhow, take care have a good day :3
I still have no idea tbh. But I never really cared about attraction and romance and I still don't. I rarely think about it in context of myself and as far I know I've never felt romantic or sexual attraction. So for now it's the label that fits haha
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derrygirlstrash · 2 months
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Clare is mischaracterized a lot lowkey because I think people love Clare for being an anxious lesbian so much that they instinctively craft a more palatable version of that trait onto her and it’s a shame because Clare is a fascinating little beastie. She is childhood friends with the likes of Erin and Michelle for a reason after all. She is arguably just as selfish as Erin /affectionate and just as impulsive as Michelle /affectionate it just is formed around the insane molten hot anxiety disorder inside her little lesbian brain. She thinks she’s better than them when in reality she is just as bad.
I’d argue she stays selfish /affectionate longer than Erin does. Until the final two episodes I fully believe Clare would have sold any of them up the river for a corn chip if that corn chip would save her skin. It’s often said that Clare and James hold the single brain cell but I think the truth is likely that Orla holds it and they just forgot to use it or hand it to someone cause they were going ham on a bag of sweets.
If you hate Erin for her selfish traits and just kinda forget that Clare is just as bad then idk what to tell you they’re birds of a feather.
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boytransmission · 2 months
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Do y’all have resources like articles/podcasts/posts/etc you like about how to navigate polyamory/non-monogamy with abandonment/issues, insecurity and high relationship anxiety? I’ve found some myself but i want to collect as much as possible. Introductions to people who are new to *practicing* polyamory are also welcome but mostly redundant to me atp, i’ve read several & just need to act
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aseuki · 2 months
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It's time!!
Sharing my contribution to the Umbral Wings Tarot Deck with my art for the Knight of Water!
The campaign's in the final stretch and the deck is fully funded! 🎉🎉🎉 If you wanted to get your hands on some truly phenomenal artwork, I highly suggest checking it out! 👀
Here's the link once more in case you missed it: 👉 [Link]
Going to dip a little bit into the designmaking process itself under the cut!
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The Knight of Water is thematically about sensitivity. Charm, romance imagination-as a person, it's about a 'knight in shining armor' type character who may help others with the matters of the heart.
I also wanted to note that another cool thing about this deck is that the artists were designated their suit depending on their art and rendering style! The Air suit focuses on more atmospheric type art, Fire is character symbolism driven, in the Earth suit you'll se a lot of traditional-style rendering, and in the Water suit you'll see a lot more anime-inspired art styles!
With these factors in mind, I wanted a composition that would pay homage to the classic anime bishoujo genre--sailor moon and utena played heavily into the design and composition--something with lots of sparkles, atmospheric framing, a pretty waterfall to tie in the elemental theme, and lots and lots (and LOTS) of roses. (Fun fact! If you look at each rose, they have a heart in the centre! Each one was carefully and painstakingly hand drawn!). The pose that was chosen for this card was also a direct homage to the classic Sailor Moon style transformation sequences (and also swan mating dances with the wings), with the element of a 'bleeding heart' visual cue so to speak with the red roses and petals to the chest haha--it was fun going through different pose ideas before settling on this one! Roses and thorns go hand in hand, so thorny vines were also added at the bottom so that they become more evident when the card is inverted! (The inverted card speaks of emotional upset, depression, hypersensitivity, and lashing out)
For the dragon design itself, I took the 'prince on a white horse' and 'knight in shining armor' aspect and meshed them with leafy and weedy sea dragons and betta fish from real life to make a unicorn-like design--a creature that is traditionally associated with sensitivity and emotions--with a classic anime magical girl spin. I wanted the design to look ethereal and noble, and still clearly a dragon instead of a horse! (It was trickier than one might think!)
That's all the notes I have at the moment! Overall this was an Incredibly fun project to think through, I know I've been absolutely vibrating off the walls to share this haha! Everyone else has also brought their A game to each card in this deck, be sure to check them out through the KS link when you can, I can assure you that each and every card is just as lovingly rendered as this one!
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moeblob · 4 months
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Look, I just think it's VERY funny and on brand that I thought of an entire premise of colorful characters for half the cast and immediately drew the only one void of color.
#my characters#i will not bore you all too much in the main post but now its story time in the tags so yeefuckinghaw#noll is a fae and is distinctly the only one that just lacks colors#at first he was like well surely i can wear colorful stuff to make up for my dark hair and eyes !#and then he overhears some of the fae talking about how hes a blemish to the fae and hes like well fuck#guess its time to go all in baby! and decks himself out in all black and jagged clothing#and he tries to play it off as hes an idiot and a lot of the fae actually believe its not ALL an act#like they can tell he thinks about stuff but he normally does it staring into space so they dont care to ask#cause surely it isnt important enough to brood about hes just thinking about stuff#and he really REALLY has a lot of confidence issues and worries that more fae are disturbed by his darkness than let on#but then the other fae that like to hang out with him are like#YOOOOOO THATS OUR LIL VOID! THATS OUR LIL GUY! our lil black spot look at him hes so edgy and cute!#and treat him like a pet cat at times giving him head pats even if he bats their hands away#and the plot premise is that some of the fae are bored and decide they should go play with some humans! give THEM enrichment too!#and noll gets roped into it and The Game is basically go find a human partner and convince them to be an ally#then the fae give the humans cool lil toys (weapons) and are like GO FORTH MY CHAMPION!#so noll keeps like ... not picking anyone to participate because its not just A Game to him#if he can prove victorious in A Game with outside factors such as humans then he can prove hes not#an absolute disappointment to the fae like he has a lot riding on this in his mind#and his friends are just like buddy you cant even play if you dont pick a human you gotta#anyway here is noll and then i have ideas for two other fae and also a veeeery vague idea for two of the humans though not as sure yet#rae if you read all this you should know the cobalt is a fae thanks bye#i am so stressed posting ocs every single time and i am incredibly depressed and anxious#so good lord please let me not just delete all the tags in an hour bc im ashamed
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doki-doki-imagines · 1 year
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Hiii! Love your work! So ever since that episode Chigiri calls Isagi attaboy, my brain has been just in there. So could I maybe get some good old, fast, maybe a little rough Chigiri calling reader Attagirl? Maybe a little bit of degradation too. Like being mean maybe
This man lives in my head tent free jdkdkd
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“You dumb whore, instead of complaining can’t you put your mouth to better use?”
You knew from day one that Hyoma is a moody guy and you also learned how to deal with him, but today he really reached to apex, mood swinging back and forth and you were way too angry (and horny) to deal with it; thankfully Hyoma followed your lead.
Your mouth now kissing his boner through the fabric of his boxer, you can feel it twitch already, his hips grinding into your mouth begging to feel your mouth without any barrier.
It’s funny teasing Hyoma when he is in such a bad mood, but you are human too. You pull his dick out, usually, you would kiss the tip and lick slowly the shaft with the utmost care, but today isn’t the right one for such a nice treatment. You take as much as you can, moaning around the shaft.
“Ah finally” Hyoma groans. He then grips your hair, something he usually wouldn’t do, and forces you to take him all, your gags and tears make him just more aroused. He keeps you there for a second, enjoying the tightness of your throat, then let you go.
Tears running down your face and a string of spit connecting your abused mouth to his tip; a picture that is going to be framed in his head for a long time.
“Just say you wanted this from the start you bitch” A nasty snark escape his lips.
Hyoma grabs one of your hands and guides it to his thigh, a silent promise that he is gonna stop at the first tap, then he pulls your head again and starts fucking your face.
“You take it so well – You feel so good, fuck”  His words only spur you to do better, laving your tongue on the sides of the shaft as good as you can, your mouth making wet, sinful noises every thrust.
“K-keep going for a little bit more”
You nod, as best as you can since he is still keeping your head in place, the vibration making a delicious shiver run down his spine.
“Atta - attagirl” This time it’s your turn to feel the shiver; it is so good to be praised.
“Goddess, c-can I come on your face?” Hyoma moans, the aggressiveness of earlier almost vanished.
This time you don’t have time to answer, Hyoma already pulled out, jerking off at the sight of your tears, snot, and overall miserable face. A few more pumps and you found your lips and cheeks stained by strings of his cum.
“W-was it too much?”
“You were just perfect”
“Give me a minute and get on all fours, it’s time for me to reward my good girl.”
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pummelingbat · 1 year
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i feel like personally it's hard for me to view The Bride as solely a daughter figure for Dan + Herbert even in an ideal situation, u know?
like she exists in such a Freudian nightmare-space of having to be a projection for every womanly role that Dan (and Herbert!) view as a necessary accessory to "normalize" their own relationship: sexual object, domestic spouse, and nuclear daughter. like it's so scary!! she's fully a grown, adult woman, but she's also thirty minutes old. she has enough autonomy to unmake herself, but she only unmakes herself bc she can't exist outside of the purpose Dan and Herbert gave her.
the amount of "this will fix us" pressure on her is insaannnee. swiss army knife girlsona. i would have clawed my skin off too!!!!
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dykedvonte · 3 months
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Preston x Danse is the only companion ship I think would actually work because Preston’s inner turmoil is sort of a loss of faith in himself due to the traumatic experiences he’s faced while Danse is looking for something to have faith in and would find the fact that despite the desire to give up Preston held out so long not just for the honor of the Minutemen but because he had some hope.
It would 100% start off as a lotta unhealthy on Danse’s side as I believe he completely lacks the emotional intelligence (due to a combination of factors) to recognize the he’s feelings as anything but a sort of respect for a superior along with leaning too much into Preston as a substitute for the BoS. Preston may not really have a title but he’s like THE Lieutenant of the Minutemen. Realistically he’s the only companion Danse would probably be comfortable taking instructions from especially for how trusted Preston is by the Sole Survivor and his adherence to military standards despite how unstructured the Minutemen are. It would be him waiting for orders, approval, anything from Preston and he thinks it’s just the desire to have the regiment of the BoS again but he also like when Preston compliments him on being useful or resourceful. He likes the stories of Minuteman glory days and he trades the stories of the BoS that don’t hurt to talk about. He likes the familiarity Preston would provide and he’d be oblivious that it’s not just new found loyalty to the Minutemen.
Yet Preston explains it himself that he’s not a natural leader. He’s not an instructor. He helps manage what the General has put in place and he content on doing that. He relays what needs to be done and does major upkeep but I don’t think he’d know what to do with this guy this literally marches up to him and practically begs for a mission that doesn’t exist. Like the formality and respect is nice but he can tell it’s covering something even if Danse doesn’t.
Danse could go to Sturges for the many repair and upkeep assignments he gives him and has the freedom to go straight to the Castle if he really wants a big mission, but he chooses to come to him everytime. He’s aware enough that Danse only trusts him out of all of the Generals confidantes but it would take a bit for him to understand why. If anything Danse should be strategizing with him as equals seeing as he almost got the Minuteme wiped out and Danse was a Paladin for the Brotherhood with many successes under his belt before Preston even led his first scouting mission. It’s like he sees him as some figure of hope, some one who can come in and add stability. Someone with a fresh outlook who can provide a new perspective for him.
It’s like he sees him like he saw/sees the Sole Survivor but that would be crazy because that would also mean… and then oh, it clicks.
The revelation is both flattering and he doesn’t know what to do with it cause how do you address “I know you respect me but is that the only feeling you have for me?” To the guy who like refuses to rest unless you tell him at ease? He has to reevaluate his whole manner of interaction with Danse cause this is a very slippery slope that he’s sliding down and it’s even more perilous due to Danse’s repressed emotions regarding… everything. There’s an equal chance Danse will try to open up as completely shut down and he’s not just concerned about it cause Sole Survivor cares for him but because he has grown to care for the guy too. It’s not like he doesn’t also enjoy Danse’s company and value as a Minuteman member. He’s not a love at first sight guy but he’s played with the idea, anyone would when you’ve spent nights trading stories, historical facts and beers by the fire in a little home you’ve carved for yourself through literal blood, sweat and tears.
I think it’s one of those cases where it’s agonizingly slow to the actual relationship but neither part are anguished about that. If anything happened to soon Danse would be too dependent and Preston not equipped to handle it. It’s a case where I genuinely think they’d bring out the best in each other cause theyd want to figure out what is best for the other and not just apply what they think is the best. It’s the care that Preston would ask Danse what he wants to do and encourage it and at the same time Danse would be incredulous everytime Preston second guesses himself.
Long story short it’s a good ship to me because it’s just two guys with broken confidences and faith in their roles being each other’s hype man and kissin a little about it.
#my thing with the other ships is less that the compatibility is bad but a lot of these characters would not enable the best behavior in eac#other or they want drasticlu different things in life or partners and while flings or non serious things would work long term I imagine#problems would arise that a lot of them would not know how to address with each other like Preston is the most well adjusted besides like#Piper. I’d say Nick but he has the whole I’m technically another guy thing going on and DiMA and he’s a workaholic and throws himself into#danger a lot if Ellie is to be believed so like Piper is the closest next to Preston#a lot of these people should not be in relationships rn honestly because they have barely worked through their issues and should learn to b#health mentally and physically and emotionally alone first as they cling to hard to SoSu#like it’s almost all of them but like Piper Preston and MacCready but RJ is also just kinda a dick but we knows he’s always been like that#Preston x Danse is till more so a like this develops slowly and Danse doesn’t know why his stomach hurts when Preston doesn’t include him i#his patrol squad for the day and blames it on feeling like he’s being excluded for not being good at it and Preston excluding him cause he’#like I need you to do something for yourself of of your own volition but also his buddy deserves a break and does not get that Danse is lik#a work dog that constantly needs a task or he becomes neurotic#I have so many thoughts on the compatibility of the companions cause some of them are like fun partners and fwbs and others would have the#most heartbreaking toxic romances known to man but still get over it the next day and be fwbs like none of them have healthy feelings#Preston x Danse#dunno if they have a ship name#fo4#preston garvey#fallout#fallout 4#paladin danse#danse#Danse’s active flirting is like ‘you know how to perfectly create a secure perimeter I have trouble believing it wasn’t just bad timing and#luck with the misfortune that followed your group to concord Lieutenant Garvey’ and it’s like the most reassuring thing Preston has heard#but that is like not a flirty thing but Presont is still smitten by it cause what the fuck does this guy see in him or why is he suxking up#to him and his poor planning skills
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merakiui · 2 years
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Helloo i just came to your blog and found the whole apocalypes au interesting 👀
I dont understand much of the au concept tjo so mind enlightening me? ^^ i wanna see more of it akskaosn
The basic concept is that the world is in disarray and has fallen into an apocalypse due to the effects of blot on mages/magical creatures producing more Overblots than ever before, which has forced those living in this new world to adapt and evolve in order to survive. This means building strong, sturdy compounds and using any means necessary to stay afloat (moral compasses are very skewed and corrupt in this au). Additionally, since women are now seen as a precious resource, they are kept within the compounds for the sake of reproduction. There are seven major compounds: Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasomnia, all with their own sets of regulations, traditions, and ways of living. Noble Bell is technically a compound of its own, with Rollo as the leader, and RSA also counts as a compound. But we haven't touched much on both yet!
I will link all of the discussions that have taken place with this au so that you can read more! :D
✧ dorm compounds
✧ bride selection (idia & azul)
✧ information about the husband selection
✧ bride selection (jade)
✧ husband selection (floyd)
✧ husband selection (malleus)
✧ mute bride (azul)
✧ darling who avoids bride selections
✧ husband floyd
✧ gentle non-con with riddle
✧ riddle (un)willingly sharing darling with azul
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spittingspite · 2 months
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It's always "character who will do anything to protect their loved one, even commit horrific acts of violence, learn kindness and mercy at the request of their loved one" and never "merciful character who hates violence and fighting makes an exception because they love someone so much they will disregard their own morals and values to commit horrific acts of violence if that's what it takes to keep their loved one safe"
#'he wouldn't do that because he canonically hates violence-' well maybe he SHOULD do that. as a treat.#i simply think that if we can write about characters becoming nicer we should also write about characters becoming meaner#more corruption arcs they're good for the soul#even better if these are simultaneous within the relationship#one of them learns mercy. kindness. other ways to settle conflict solely because their love hates violence and they don't wanna disappoint#the other learns violence. they don't like it normally. but they love their partner so much they'll do anything for them. anything.#one gets better the other gets worse#just once i want the kind sweet pacifist to go batshit. to see rage in their eyes as they promise to destroy whoever harmed their loved one#and make them feel every painful second of that destruction#and this isn't like them. they know it isn't like them. but their partner is more important#(and maybe this never would've happened if they didn't convince their partner to be more merciful in the first place)#i don't even need them to go full villain arc i'm fine with them still hating violence and choosing mercy most of the time#it's just for one person that they decide there are no limits to what they would do to keep them safe#threaten anyone else and you'll be met with mercy and compassion#but bring harm to That One Person? hellfire upon your head would be kinder#'is this about a specific ship-' PERHAPS..... BUT THAT'S IRRELEVANT AND WILL GO WITH ME TO THE GRAVE#doesn't matter anyway bc I'm right and I should say it#it applies to all ships that follow this dynamic hope this helps#oh look she speaks
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"you NEED a romantic partner in life bc who else will help you when you're having a crisis and you can't rely on your friends, what will you do then" I get better friends???
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angeart · 15 days
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Aaaaange, why doesn't Scar feel safe at that moment? More Tease pretty please? -🎀
oh i can do more than tease for this one :3c
[1,2k ramble + 8,5k rp snippets]
you know how we talked about the post-return situation, with the hermits raising potential allegations against scar? worried that he might be hurting grian, that their relationship is not safe?
that is pre-wedding. that is before scar proposes, but he already has plans to. he's always dreamed of a big, fancy wedding. it'd be picturesque and grand and wonderful! there'd be lots of flowers and music, laughter and dancing. and they'd be surrounded by friends who would be happy for them.
all of this is actively crumbling in scar's hands as hermits shy away from him as if he was dangerous and unpredictable. they're wary, unsure. they no longer see their cheerful, clumsy, harmless friend. they see an unfamilair vex.
they are not happy for them. and, right now, they do not approve of their relationship either.
scar thinks this is not how home should feel like. this is not what he wants. and he doesn't know how to convince them that he's not that scarecrow they have constructed from their lack of understanding. he doesn't know how to get through this.
but it's more than that, right? all their concerns, however well meaning, also make grian spiral. there's so much stress put on the two of them suddenly, their relationship straining.
none of this was ever meant to happen like this.
it's at a point when grian starts finding his stability, after that big breakdown, that scar decides he's done hiding and running, too. if he has to convince everyone to like him again, then he will. he'll fight for this. he'll do his best so that they can overcome this.
him and grian decide to host a little sleepover. for selected hermits! that way, they'll be opening themselves up to others. they want to try and show the others who they are now. to invite them back in. to let them get to know them all over again.
they arrange for it to happen within a week or so, as they still have to make a dedicated room for it. it's a lot of people to hang out and sleep!
they dedice to repurpose their old bunker. yes, the one they constructed shortly post-rescue. the one that was their hideout, their safe place.
it's underground, its walls drenched with anxiety and uncertainty. grian itches from it all, now used to spend time in their nest-tower, high up above the ground. underground feels stifling, all of a sudden. it feels wrong.
the first thing scar does is break the ceiling, to make a big skylight. it's left open for now, sand smelting into glass.
they struggle with the concept of hosting an event for many people. they can't seem to remember what they need. desperately, they try to figure out ways to make the place seem cozy and non-threatening, both for show and for their own sanity.
they talk about a little flower patch in the middle, right underneath the skylight. something bright and nice smelling and alive. they talk about mood lighting, about fairy lights and a fireplace. and—
they talk about sleeping arrangements.
grian says he doesn't want to make a big nest. he... doesn't want the others in their nest.
they're not flock.
they no longer feel like family.
so instead, they try to figure out how many beds they need. except, grian still wants a nest! for him and scar. and, maybe that's good! that'll be another stepping stone, showing the others the new them. who they are. what they now need. things like that!
while scar is tasked with making the small garden, grian goes off and gathers things for beds. he starts making them, quickly becomes overwhelmed, and instead starts putting together a big net that will hold their nest-bed suspended in the air.
he might be ignoring some symptoms of sickness that he simply brushes off as stress. a bit of tension. a couple of anxious, sleepless nights. it's fine.
(it isn't fine.)
it's when they take a break that grian finds himself too lightheaded and needs to lie down.
it's only about half an hour or so later, in the middle of them talking about some of scar's previous relationship experiences, that grian starts to feel really dizzy.
he has a fever.
and he succumbs to it fast after this.
scar wants to take him to the nest upstairs, but grian says he is too nauseous to be moved, so scar does the next best thing: cocoons grian's shivering, curled up form in blankets.
and he messages the hermits.
the hermits, who think he might be doing bad things to grian.
he tells them they need to postpone the sleepover.
he tells them grian is sick.
he asks for soup, but says not to come inside.
it... doesn't sound good. it rings some alarm bells in the heads of those hermits that are Very Concerned and Very Confused and maybe a notch paranoid. but scar stops replying. he's busy dealing with a sick grian.
and hoo boy.
grian's fever climbs sharply and mercilessly, making him delirious and disoriented. he can't tell where or when they are. he keeps talking about things that have already happened. he asks if the world is ending again. he thinks him and scar will be tossed to different servers this time. he asks for [REDACTED]. he asks for flock. he asks for kane and nico, where are they????
scar's heart is splintering and tearing to shreds as he tries to keep a grip, navigating heartache and mirror panic, trying to calm grian down.
it's at this time there comes a knock at their door.
scar can't deal with the others. not right now. not now, not now, not now.
they don't ask for permission to come in. they don't take silence as a no.
grian chirps in distress, from beffudled memories alone, and— they're worried. they can't leave it be.
they find the hole that was meant to, eventually, be a skylight.
they drop down.
mumbo, worried out of his mind. tango, here to help. impulse, last-minute joining them just to keep things reined in.
scar knows grian is out of it. he knows grian didn't want anyone else in their nest.
these are intruders.
and all grian registers are voices. all he thinks of are hunters. he sobs, terrified.
but to the others? scar's shifting into a vex form, flickering and dangerous, clutching grian who's making distressed noises, shielding him from sight.
they need to check up on grian, but they're not allowed any closer.
of course this escalates messily. and scar's afraid and hurting, but he needs to protect grian, and they aren't seeing him anyway. they don't see that he's scared. they don't see that he's cornered and helpless. they don't understand grian's current headspace, or his experiences that dictate his feverish panic.
and there's no space to explain.
... you know what. have the rp bits. as a treat <3 (this starts at the impromptu end of conversation about scar's past relationships, just for context.)
i decided not to redact some bits, for your enrichment. and to feed into the chaos. you're welcome :3c
------ RP STARTS HERE ------
SCAR
Scar takes another moment just to run his fingers over Grian��s forehead, then back into his hair, carefully folding his bangs back. In a lot of ways, early days with Grian were like that. Sharing their passions, enjoying each other’s company, nothing but fleeting touches between them that Scar would be left thinking about for days. 
He thinks he may have always been a hopeless romantic.
But is it really hopeless if the man of his dreams is here before him now? Curled up in his lap and cooing so soft?
Scar hums, pleased, even if he obviously wishes the sickness weren’t part of it.
“Eventually she was invited to some exclusive server, real far off. She didn’t know when she’d be able to see me next, so… we decided to go ahead and split.” Scar says it all so casually, because it truly was a mutual decision. One of the few relationships that ended with no misunderstandings or disappointments.
Well, it was still a little sad, but they knew it was for the best.
She didn’t want to leave Scar waiting, and he wanted her to feel open to exploring her relationships to the fullest with her new server mates. 
“I knew dating was always sort of secondary to her. Not as important as her art. She could do without it easily, especially if she was going somewhere with a bunch of other artists.” Scar looks down, carrying that soft smile and directing it toward Grian. “And she wanted me to be able to move on, so I could eventually meet, as she called it, the One.” He grins, remembering that being her exact phrasing. “…and that’s you.” Scar flushes a bit at his own cheesiness. “I know it.”
--
GRIAN
grian sighs softly at the touch through his hair, relaxing even through his shivers. his teeth chatter a little, a small frown forming between his eyebrows, but it softens a little as scar continues talking.
he tries to slot the information somewhere in his head. that this was an amicable breakup, brought on by insurmountable distance, diverging life paths. that this is something scar can still remember fondly. that this person had every trust that scar will find someone right for him, and that scar is convinced that someone is grian.
but somehow, his thoughts snag and loop, a faulty wire somewhere. distance and far away servers. distance and—
all of a sudden, he's thinking about the apocalypse that took everything from them. everything but each other, eventually. 
he thinks of distance, and a faraway server.
and scar not being with him in that scary place, or grian not being there with scar.
he takes a sharp breath, head shifting and eyes opening. his gaze is feverish and intense as it finds scar. "i would've look'd for you ev'rywhere," he says, hushed but urgent, completely nonsensical.
--
SCAR
Scar tilts his head, confused. He can tell what Grian is saying is drenched in adoration, but it feels misplaced, like it doesn’t belong here in this particular conversation.
Scar isn’t so sure he’s going to get an explanation with Grian in this state.
“I’m right here,” Scar decides to say instead, voice soft like flower petals placed over his skin, hoping to ease whatever tension is lingering in Grian’s thoughts.
His thumb brushes just in front of Grian’s earwing, not quite touching, but grazing over those tiny feathers that permeate his skin. 
“Right here.”
--
GRIAN
grian's gaze softens, some intensity fizzing out, even if the feverishness stays. "right here," he parrots in a weary but fond whisper, audibly relief laced. his eyes close again and he tilts his head further, chasing the touch of scar's gentle fingers.
-- 
SCAR
Scar’s glad to see Grian close his eyes, knowing he likely needs the rest. To think he was building beds and nets when he was slowly succumbing to a fever just makes Scar sad.
“For good, too,” Scar adds on, humming. “If you’ll have me, of course.”
He sees his communicator buzz— it had been a few times during his story— and wonders if that means soup is here already. With a name like soup group, maybe they had it ready-to-cook. 
Slowly, he shifts one hand over to take it, just to make sure he was clear about not entering the house. He’s careful to maintain soft patterns with his other, not wishing to disturb his mate.
--
GRIAN
for good. that sounds wonderful. it feels like a nest built around him.
grian coos, velvety and quiet, nuzzling weakly against scar. he feels him shift, but the attention to such details is slippery to grian's mind, especially as scar's touch remains on him, tracing gentle patterns.
--
SCAR
Scar stills for a second upon reading his messages, only drawn back into focus by the soft coo that escapes his mate’s lips. He’s quick to continue his soothing, setting the communicator down atop a half-squished pillow with a plop. 
<PearlescentMoon whispers to you> Soup delivery!
<GeminiTay whispers to you> Anybody home?
<Skizzleman> anybody seen G?
<impulseSV> Skizz
<impulseSV> Don’t
<Mumbo> Did something happen??
<GeminiTay> He’s just sick!
<Tango> …sick huh?
<impulseSV> Here we go again… 
--
GRIAN
with no idea about the turmoil spreading across the server-wide chat, grian stays curled up, leaning on scar. the silence stretches, making the space feel heavier somehow, time oddly slippery.
grian doesn't like it.
he lets out another coo, this one less stable. there's a questioning edge, something insecure and sorrowful and afraid.
--
SCAR
Scar blinks rapidly, eyelashes fluttering a bit as he tries to recalibrate. He can't bother with that nonsense right now, Grian needs him. That's his only priority.
"You okay, G?" Scar asks, carefully curating his voice with his practiced honeyed tones. "Soup's at the doorstep. Should be fine to leave it there, though."
--
GRIAN
soup's here?
grian forgot all about the soup. why's it at the doorstep?
he can't think.
he lets out another coo, pitched similarly to the last.
--
SCAR
"...Are you hungry?" Scar tries to guess. "I told them to leave it there for now. I'm sure it'll stay hot."
-- 
GRIAN
grian's getting increasingly more confused. who brought the soup?
they're... underground, right?
there's this horrible moment when grian can't tell where they are. or when.
"... why d'n't they c'me in?" he murmurs, thinking feverishly about flock. about nico and kane, and their worried faces.
--
SCAR
"You...you said you didn't want anyone in the nest?" Scar replies, nervous now. 
Did he misinterpret that? Did he just cause turmoil in the chat for no reason?
--
GRIAN
grian looks at scar again, his gaze unfocused even as he searches scar's expression for answers that evade him. he's so confused. flock is allowed in the nest?
he chirps, unable to put the mess of his feverish, disoriented thoughts into words.
--
SCAR
"Shoot," Scar says, doubting his actions now. "I—I can message them again? I think the messages from Pearl and Gem were only a few minutes ago—"
--
GRIAN
grian stiffens, his eyes widening with more confusion.
peal and gem?
it takes him an odd, hollow moment to place those names, and then he's unthinkingly moving, rolling over, chirping in a higher pitch. the cocoon of blankets tangles around him, keeping him right where he is, unable to flare out and flap his wings.
--
SCAR
Scar is about a moment away from grabbing the communicator when Grian begins thrashing, and he quickly shifts to cradling him with his arms, trying to keep him in place. "Hey, heyyy, whoa... easy there, birdie, what's wrong?" Scar tries to imitate a small chirp, trying to say that it's okay if Grian can only make noises. He'll try to interpret to his best ability.
--
ANGE ( :D )
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--
GRIAN
grian breathes heavily from that small amount of exertion, completely placated by scar's tight hold and the familiar rumble of his voice. dark spots blotch out his vision, and he lets himself go limp, cradled by scar's arms. safe. safe, safe, safe.
his head is so jumbled, and everything feels like a horrible dream. they're underground. there's meant to be flock here. there's meant to be—
with eyes flooding with confused tears, he whimpers. "scar?" his voice is hoarse, breaking midway through. "where's avi?"
--
LINK
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--
SCAR
Scar's huddled over Grian, as if he wanted to shield him from the world. (He does.) He keeps his grip firm and shushes him softly, trying to reign him in as much as he can so he can get some sort of coherent answer, when—
Oh.
Oh no.
"Where's—" Scar chokes out, completely caught off guard by the question. He pulls away, catching sight of those tears, and suddenly his eyes are stinging as well. "I—Grian, we're..." He can't answer that. He can't, he can't. "Grian we're home."
--
GRIAN 
grian's gaze jumps between scar's eyes. incoherency threads through his veins, spilling across his nervous system. the word home makes no sense to him.
he chirps, a quiet, mournful, quivery sound. confused and afraid.
--
LINK
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--
SCAR
Scar chews at his lip, trying very hard not to lose himself to the sudden flood of panic that surged through him at those words, not to mention the sheer misery of it all as well.
"We're not there, Grian," he continues to try. "We're home. We're—"
He hears knocking at their door upstairs. 
Scar's ears twitch, honestly unsure if Grian will hear it as well with how Scar is huddled over him and with the less acute hearing. 
Muffled voices pool in from beyond the stairs.
...not gonna answer. ... just wants to be sure ... if it makes him feel better...
"...on Hermitcraft," Scar finishes, the word almost bitter on his tongue. 
--
GRIAN
"i— but—" grian's oblivious to knocking or potential intruders. he sniffles, a tear falling free. he's shaking, the fever ravaging, the world gently spinning off axis around him. 
he thinks scar looks a bit panicked, and it just pushes him deeper into his disoriented confusion. because— aren't they hiding? from danger? aren't they in a hideout? in a bunker, or a cave? aren't they in a nest that's incredibly makeshift, put together in a rush?
... isn't there meant to be flock here?
he chirps again, louder, still that higher pitch. fear sears through the sound, his breath turning rapid as his heart beats wildly against his ribs, even as fever presses the heavy weight of exhaustion right over his chest. 
he's scared, because he can't remember. he can't remember what happened—
"where are they?" he insists, his voice verging a sob. "where is flock?"
--
SCAR
Scar thinks the voices stopped for a second after Grian chirps, and the reality of the giant hole in the ceiling sets in on Scar all at once. All they’d have to do is walk about the back and there’d be nothing keeping anyone from seeing the two of them. 
Scar’s wings flare out around Grian as an instinctive shield. 
Grian is asking about flock, and…
Well, the reality of that is that there is none here, Scar concludes dismally. 
Grian didn’t want the hermits in their nest when they were constructing the party room. Grian asked for Avi. Grian’s probably thinking about Kane and Nico, too.
The hermits haven’t gotten there. They don’t know avian-brained Grian.
“[REDACTED],” Scar answers, trying to give Grian a shred of reality to grasp onto. [REDACTED]
--
GRIAN
[REDACTED]? 
grian's mind spins, the same way the room spins around him. he feels as if the whole ground tilted with them on it. there's sea underneath the raft of the floor. 
he feels sick.
he wants to close his eyes, but he finds himself staring at scar, helpless. floatingly, he remembers words about distance and faraway servers, and he thinks of hermitcraft imploding, whole chunks being lifted up into the air.
his stomach twists and lurches. the spinny feeling makes him think even more vividly of those floating chunks. maybe they're on one now?
he ducks, as if the ground really moved from underneath them. he tries to paw at scar, but his hands are still trapped, and it just makes him thrash again against the blankets, whimpering.
he wants his flock. he doesn't understand where they are.
"call them back," he whimpers. "call— avi. can— avi can come too?" he pauses, his breath stuttering as he looks up at scar with so much pleading. 
he wants a bird flock. he wants to tuck him in the middle of the makeshift nest and make sure he's safe.
--
SCAR
Scar stares at Grian, heart actively tearing itself apart at his words and tears threatening to fall. 
He hears footsteps.
He can’t do this. If they find them he’s not going to be able to untangle all of this in time, he—
“They’ll be back,” he lies, chest aching. “Shhh, shhh, listen, they’ll be back, okay?”
The words taste like acid on his tongue, burning his throat like rotten bile. 
“You’re sick, Gri, let me take care of you,” Scar pleas, shutting out his surroundings so he can focus. Focus. Grian’s the only thing that matters. “Why don’t we go upstairs? If— if you puke on me, fine, I just— you should have a bath. And more blankets. And Mr. Beak.”
And medicine on his way up. And soup. 
And away from the approaching hermits. Away from danger.
--
GRIAN
"they'll... be back?" grian repeats, in the smallest voice, each syllable threatening to snap and let it all crumble. he sniffles, another tear tumbling down his cheek as the confusion continues to tear a path through him like wildfire.
scar says their flock will be back. 
he says grian is sick, and oh, maybe the world isn't ending, then? 
grian feels weird. everything's fuzzy and nonsensical, memories fading and time slipping and everything melting together.
there's a sob, and it takes grian a moment to realise it came from it. "it— it feels like—" his body shakes and trembles, barely a separate thing from the shivers. he's curling up again, making himself small. with a ragged breath and tears glistening in his eyes, he looks at scar, completely missing his point about upstairs and a bath and mr beak. what leaves his lips instead is a question that's white-hot, shaking him to his core. "scar...? is the world ending again?"
--
SCAR / MUMBO
“What—“ Scar is reeling from all of this. It doesn’t feel unlike being trapped in a cramped terracotta bunker listening to Grian murmur thoughts of death and despair. “No, Grian, the world isn’t ending.”
Scar thinks he knew how to handle this better once upon a time.
This world has ironically shaken his confidence. 
“We’re perfectly safe.” Scar continues. “We’re in our home— our house that we built.”
“Grian?” comes a voice from above, causing Scar to bristle.
His eyes flick upward and catch sight of a nervous pair of eyes peeking over the dirt hole.
Scar does not want to talk to Mumbo right now.
--
GRIAN
grian's eyes close and he blindly curls towards scar, deeper into his hold, lost and despondent. nothing makes sense, not even scar's reassurances. 
out of all the words scar says, grian wants to hold onto one the most: safe.
and yet incoherent threats continue sinking teeth into grian's flesh. sending panic signals about how he's weak if he's sick, and they're a target, and they can't run from danger. about how their flock is missing. about how they might be hurtled into different, faraway servers this time, and— and grian doesn't know how to survive without scar, and—
he sobs loudly, his breaths becoming erratic. he hears his name, but it's not scar's voice, and he flinches hard, whimpering, until some instinct catches up and tells him to run. to grab scar and abandon the nest.
he tries to flap his wings, but finds them bound.
he doesn't process that sensation right, pitching straight into memories of traps and nets, chirping high pitched and distressed. the blankets don't hold too hard, but he just can't figure them out, unaware of what they even are.
--
SCAR / OTHERS
“Grian!” Mumbo exclaims, calling the attention of his other unwelcome companions. 
Scar snarls, luckily muted and hidden from view by his bright wings. This is not what he needs right now. This is not what Grian needs. He needs peace and quiet and warmth and soft things—
Scar hurries to try to still Grian, shushing him as calmly as he can manage. “Hey, hey, Grian, it’s me, it’s okay, shhhh, please calm down.”
Grian said he felt nauseous. This has to be about the worst thing possible for him.
“Scar, what’s—“ Mumbo is babbling, sounding nearly as panicked as Grian. Scar doesn’t care about that though. 
He thinks maybe Mumbo has fallen onto his knees up there. He thinks he might be considering popping down into their space.
Scar is not having that.
Strangers are not allowed in the nest, get out, get out.
“Grian, look at me,” Scar tries, urgent and insistent. “We’re safe, we’re okay, I— I’m gonna take you upstairs.”
“Whoa there, skippy, I don’t think you should be taking him anywhere!” comes Tango of all people.
Scar eyes glow a faint blue, feeling cornered, while all of his body language shifts into that of defensive and protective, wrapped around Grian fully with his wings blocking the intruders from view. 
He desperately attempts to lift.
--
GRIAN
grian sobs, quieter, against scar's soft, frantic shushes. he wants to believe that everything's okay, but scar doesn't sound okay, and there are all these other voices, rising up and loud, coming closer.
scar pleads for grian to look at him, and dizzily, he does, his eyesight blurred by hot tears. he's breathing too fast, which is just inviting more lightheadedness; he shakes in scar's grip, whimpering as scar repeats the promises that they're okay.
desperately, grian tries to hold onto that.
he chirps, still distressed but now also pleading, a sound meant only for scar's ears but all too loud and grating to not be heard by anyone else in the vicinity. 
his wings still feel so horribly bound. 
he chokes on a sob. "scar, help." 
he needs to be freed and— and they need to run, right? they need to go? scar says they'll go upstairs. grian tries to get his hands free, wanting to hold onto him, but he's bundled up too tight in scar's arms to really manage with his feeble strength.
his stomach churns, acidic, turning and twisting with the uptick of stress and panic. he sobs again, terrified that they're about to be caught.
--
SCAR / OTHERS
Focus, Scar thinks frantically. Focus, focus. 
He can’t let the anger from the intrusion overcome him. He can’t get defensive here, even if he’s certain one unwelcome step into their makeshift nest will set him off. 
Grian is squirming in his arms, chirping as he relives some phantom experience, and Scar knows this can’t look good. He has to stay calm, he has to keep him under control.
But then Grian begs for his help and it’s like the mirage shatters around him, except this time it’s reality fragmenting before his very eyes, twisting and mutating into something horrible and so much more dire. 
Grian’s sobbing, but for a second Scar sees him despondent, face torn open and wings drenched in blood. He hears voices and it’s like white noise, a vague threat, unwelcome. 
Scar looks around frantically.
He doesn’t know which way Nadia is—
“Scar, buddy, hey, why dontcha just put Grian down and we can aaaaaall relax—“
Scar’s wings flare out to their full span, one dipping over Grian as a shield. No one can see him. No one can ogle those feathers. No one, no one.
“Sc–Scar, what’s going on?”
Scar sees movement. Someone jumps down and instantly he’s crouched low, holding Grian tighter as his eyes glow blue.
“Scar…”
He’s supposed to be calm, he’s supposed to be gentle, he’s failing, he’s failing, but he can’t let them near—
Scar’s entire body flickers blue and he bites his lip hard enough to draw blood. 
“Stay back,” he strains through sharpened teeth, voice low like a snarl. “You—“ 
(You aren’t welcome here.)
(You’re making things worse.)
(You’re lucky I don’t slay you right here and now.)
Scar’s voice breaks, desperate and frightened by his own shattering psyche. “You’re scaring him.” 
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
the sense of danger continues building up around grian, fueling his fear, overexerting his already sickness-weakened body. his heart continues ramming a fast, painful rhythm, and the ache across his chest just serves to make grian more scared.
scar's hold on him is firm, and grian doesn't know whether to feel comfort (he's protected, it's okay, scar's got him), or more panic (there's a threat, scar can't fight if he's gripping grian, why aren't they running?) choking on sobs that he's unable to stop, grian presses his forehead into scar's shoulder; the heat of his fever can surely be felt through scar's shirt, scalding hot. there's a familiar, faint tingling, something grian's learned to attune himself to and recognise—the electrifying current of scar's magic, a warning, a preparation. a wing slings in front of grian like a glowing shield.
mumbo's standing in the bunker, jolting still at scar's accusation and the display of his vex magic. "i'm scaring him?" he stammers, incredulous and not understanding. "mate, i think he's asking to be let go," he hazards, navigating the distressing pitch of chirps and sobs with anxious misguidedness. 
tango's now crouching at the edge of the hole, also intending to descend. "yeah, just let us see him. you've got nothing to hide, right? why make this worse?"
a third pair of footsteps makes it to the unfinished skylight, peering down at the situation with a tense "uhoh," trying to read what exactly is happening here. he isn't sure yet, but some alarm in his head goes off.
with straining breaths through his sobs, grian's dizziness only gets worse. even as he's securely held, he can't escape the violent sensation of the world spinning fast. his stomach tightens, burning with acid, stress overloading all of grian's already muddied senses. there are voices around him, louder, closer, but they don't process right; they're just an incoherent noise, a call of hunters saying we found them, making everything collapse in on him and scar. it feels like they're surrounded and, fearfully, grian presses himself further against scar, burrowing in as much as he can with all his limbs still tangled into the blanket net. 
he should've been more careful.
he shouldn't have triggered the trap.
his eyes are tightly shut, overflowing with tears. behind his closed eyelids, he can see, vividly, avi's terrified look as he's caught in another trap.
a vile kind of panic spreads through him, sharper and more damaging than the previous one, drawing a terrified chirp out of him. the sound breaks on a sob like waves violently crashing into a jagged cliffside, and he desperately tries to take a breath through it all. to speak. 
it's awful; he's so horribly lightheaded and nothing makes sense. but he has to— he has to say this, has to make sure scar hears, has to beg for this one thing above all else. he chokes out, wobbly and halting and small enough to be coherent only for scar, and only if he can spare enough attention to listen. "ple— please don't— don't le— leave him behind—" 
--
SCAR / OTHERS
Scar tenses, briefly glancing down at Grian as he wonders whether or not he truly has been misinterpreting it all, if Grian wants to be let go like Mumbo claims. But no, Scar can feel that feverish haze pressed into his shoulder, desperate and clingy, and his expression sharpens, eyes narrowing in Mumbo’s direction. 
No, Mumbo knows nothing. 
Still, Scar shrinks under Tango’s accusations, reminding him that he ought to have nothing to hide. He doesn’t, just— he can’t let them see. He can’t let anyone see the tears and the panic and the bright violet hues. 
Scar knows he’s being irrational but his wings simply won’t budge, one flung out in some innate danger response and the other curled around like a very necessary shield. They twitch but don’t move.
All Scar can manage is to turn them slightly transparent. A barely willing compromise.
Even his vision is flickering blue.
…Grian’s words make him see white.
He’s vividly tossed back in time, hobbled over and bloodied, barely hanging on, watching as [REDACTED]
Grian’s begging him not to let history repeat itself, he knows, he—
Scar takes a stumbling step backward, blankets curling around his feet and threatening to drag him down. 
“Hey, hey, hey, let’s not go going anywhere, pal,” Tango insists as he leaps down to join Mumbo, carefully touching his shoulder in solidarity. He’s jittery here, not liking he prospect of staring down an angry vex in the slightest, a totem gripped in his other hand. “We’re just here to help.”
Tears break past Scar’s eyes and he hiccups, struggling to stay above water, barely grappling with reality as it continues to shatter before him. 
He can’t do this alone. He’s scared, he’s slipping, he’s making it all worse. 
He… he should have nothing to hide.
“He’s sick,” Scar pleads again, voice hoarse and not at all his own. Blue wisps escape with every word. “He–e has a fever, he’s not— he’s not thinking straight.”
God, are they going to believe that?
Do they believe anything he says? That a crazed vex says?
Scar looks at Grian again, desperation hanging off his tongue. “Grian, you— I—“ He doesn’t even want to suggest it, but they probably need to hear from him. “We…we’re safe, okay? I promise, I… d-do you want me to put you down?”
--
US
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--
GRIAN / OTHERS
scar's suggestion is the only thing grian hears with any semblance of coherency, and it makes his lungs spasm and his heart ache. he shakes his head in panic, forehead still pressed against scar, the sharp motion rapidly destabilising the world around him until it spins in a nauseating blur. "no no no don't leave, please, don't don't don't," he chokes out, crying.
the sharpness of that reaction freezes mumbo, sends everything in him careening into doubt.
it's this moment impulse takes his cue to join in. he jumps down, touching tango's arm just as tango is taking a breath to speak, feet moving to step forwards. impulse stops him, gently, even as tension drips from his voice. "tango, wait."
grian's sobs fill the air; the transparency of scar's wings doesn't offer much more clarity. all impulse can tell is that the avian is shaking.
but his eyes draw higher, meeting scar's. his gaze softens at the sight of tears, and he lifts his hands up placatingly, the gesture feeling like lowering of a weapon. "scar." his voice is quiet, just loud enough to be heard. he tries to keep it calm, even as his nerves are fraying with the situation. "you aren't going to run off with him anywhere, right? it's okay. we won't hurt you guys."
mumbo's eyes widen at that, gaze whipping from impulse to scar—for the first time noting the tears in the vex's eyes. "oh, gosh, no, we aren't here to hurt anyone!" he echoes, distraught. 
--
SCAR / OTHERS
Scar tightens his grip, pulling Grian up higher and whispering soft nothings, assuring him that he’ll stay, that he hears him, he wouldn’t leave him, not ever. 
Scar tenses up when yet another person enters their space, but visibly relaxes when he recognizes Impulse’s voice, something steady and yielding to the way that he speaks. It’s the only voice that doesn’t distort into that of a hunter’s call in Scar’s rattled mind.
Slowly, Scar pulls his leg back in, shaking as he gives up on the half-step he was taking away. “I… I know that,” he fibs, because part of him doesn’t believe them. “But Grian doesn’t. N–not right now.”
Tango appears unconvinced, making a short grumbling sound that Impulse cuts off with a light shove. 
Impulse recognizes this scene. Maybe it’s just the flicker of Scar’s wings, but Grian appears to have that same glossed over look in his eye that he had the day they found them— unrecognizing, inconsolable. 
It isn’t good.
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
grian's sobs quiet down a little at the soft assurances, but the world keeps swirling and swimming. 
mumbo lets out a choked noise, not willing to reconcile with the idea that grian might not recognise them as safe—despite all the hints of their early days on the server post-rescue. he thinks of grian, bruised and bitten and flinching, and he can't let this go. he can't. "please," he begs. "i just want to see him."
impulse looks at mumbo, then back at scar. he's holding out his arm, in case the others would have the stupid thought of moving forwards.
he needs to bargain here, and it's hard.
he tries to hold onto the way scar let pearl at least somewhat close, that day when they pulled scar and grian from that awful world, grian's wing tangled in a horrible trap that tore at it. pearl wasn't allowed to touch, but she was allowed to help, and maybe they could arrive at something similar here, too.
"scar...?" impulse says, gentle and calm again. (it's only the smallest of wobbles that betrays him.) "do you think you could sit down? you don't have to let go of him, just, let us see? we don't have to come close." and then, after a breath, he tentatively pushes with another suggestion: "i think if you're calm about it, it might help him calm down too. you don't have to get away from him."
"yes he does!" tango protests.
impulse whips to face him. "tango!" he snaps back. 
grian flinches in scar's arms at the raised tones, letting out another loud, terrified chirp, curling into scar for protection. he's back to sobbing louder, all of scar's comfort undone in one swift go.
--
SCAR
Scar’s wings sag the slightest bit, drawn in by the soft promises Impulse is laying out, but still hesitant to follow. 
Sitting down would mean giving up an easy escape route. They could be lying. He could be cornered. This could all be a ploy to get him to lower his guard.
Tango’s outburst does not help settle that fear.
Scar grits his teeth together, a few stray tears falling as he struggles to form words. “Stop yelling,” he demands, light blue magic slipping past sharpened teeth. 
He’s back to soothing Grian, not yet yielding and not at all regarding Mumbo’s request. 
“Shh, shh, I’ve got you, okay? I’m—“ He looks over the three pairs of eyes— fearful, disdainful, concerned— and focuses in on Impulse. “They’re… friends.” (Not flock.) “I’m just gonna… kneel down here, okay?” (A small compromise.)
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
grian continues crying, albeit a little bit quieter again. just a notch. it's hard to tell if scar's soothing is working, or if he's just tiring himself out.
tango, to his credit, seems a bit alarmed by the reaction he's gotten. but he is still relentlessly wary, suspicious of this whole situation.
impulse can tell, and it keeps him tense. he wishes he could just tell tango and mumbo to leave, but he knows they wouldn't budge. not now. not when things are like this.
he holds back a sigh, looking grian's way. "yeah, we're friends," he echoes, soft, trying to sound harmless and encouraging.
he isn't even sure grian's listening to him. he isn't sure he can recognise his voice. it feels awful.
he doesn't think tango and mumbo realise the extent of what's happening. that if grian's mind is scrambled with the sickness, he might not be mentally present here. on hermitcraft. he might be stuck somewhere else entirely, and the thought of it pains impulse. 
the least they can do is play along.
the least he can do is try to deescalate this whole thing.
"c'mon," he tugs at tango and mumbo, voice low. "let's sit down."
"wh— i don't want—" tango starts in protest, but impulse holds his gaze, steady. 
"shh," he reminds him, shutting tango up.
"oh gosh," mumbo lets out, wobbly, and slowly lowers himself down to the floor.
impulse does the same, dragging tango down with him.
"see?" impulse looks back at scar, trying to offer a small smile. "we're not gonna go closer if you guys aren't ready. we're at the same level here. it's okay." he's willing to be patient here, but he worries that tango and mumbo might not be. 
--
SCAR
Scar stares for a long moment, fidgeting between trust and opportunity, wondering if he could run. If he could take them down if they’re going to make themselves vulnerable like this.
His ears twitch with alarm at the mere thought, catching himself before he can spiral further into delusion.
Carefully, he lowers himself to the ground, knelt down on both knees so he could easily spring back into action. 
“We aren’t ready,” Scar confirms, warily eyeing the lot of them. 
His eyes are still bright blue, though slightly less fiery. His chest flickers occasionally, a warm white light. His wing lowers by only an inch. 
He allows himself one moment of weakness, eyes flicking back down toward the shivering avian in his arms. “… I promise a warm bath after this, okay?” he whispers, though his voice carries, still too ragged from pressed together fangs. “W–we’re gonna be fine.”
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
impulse nods. he knows they aren't ready, but he hopes hearing that helps the others settle too. "we'll wait. take it slow. make sure he's okay," he coaxes, tone soft. hoping, desperately, that tango and mumbo won't mess this up. that they understand and will follow his lead. "we're not getting any closer. you have space." he pauses, and then he adds, a bit of heartache slipping into his voice: "you're safe, i promise."
grian recognises that they went down, slow and controlled. scar's hold is still tight and secure, and he's talking to him softly, and grian scrambles to understand what's happening. they're... not in danger anymore? scar says they're going to be fine. 
with a tired coo, grian nuzzles into his shoulder. he trusts him, even as he still sniffles, tears dripping down. 
his body feels awful, and his wings twitch, only to find themselves still tangled. it's that sensation that prompts another miserable sob from him, albeit less panic-driven. "take it off," he pleads, begging scar to untangle the trap that restricts him. "take it— scar, hurts," he whines.
the blanket doesn't actually hurt. his body aches from the fever and extertion, but his head tells him that pressure against his wings ought to be painful, and so that's what it is. the fear mistranslates into pain—or maybe just inevitability of the pain if this goes on, he isn't actually sure—the memories more vivid than reality itself.
--
SCAR
Scar nods slowly, wings lowering just a little bit more. He can see the tension actively begin to roll off of Mumbo, but for some reason that doesn’t comfort Scar in the slightest. 
He tries to offer gratitude toward Impulse in some way, but then his attention is dragged back to Grian, ears flicking as he grows rigid and attentive once more.
“Take…?” Scar questions, looking Grian over in confusion before it finally clicks. “The— oh.”
He shifts a little, resting Grian’s weight firmly on his legs, and slowly peels away a few layers of blankets, trying to simply loosen them up and allow for his wings to slip free. 
“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Scar assures him, voice already growing much softer, no more wisps escaping when he speaks. “There you go… ‘m sorry.”
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
it's the word hurts on grian's tongue that has mumbo jolting, and impulse has to react fast, grabbing him and keeping him still. "stay calm," he hisses under his breath, quiet enough to be intended only for their trio.
"do you really expect us just to sit here," tango hisses back, "when grian just said he's being hurt?"
impulse exhales, long and tense. "that's not what he said. and he asked scar to fix it. he said," he stresses, somehow still managing to keep his voice hushed and low, "he wants scar to stay near him. so sit. still. and wait."
grian, in the meanwhile, squirms as the blanket layers gets peeled off, feeling the pressure relent. he breathes out, a bit more steadily, forehead still firmly against scar. some of his crying tapers off once he can twitch his wings and feel no resistance—and the loosened blankets let his hands free, too. he uses this immediately to grab onto scar's shirt, depletedly holding on. 
"thanks." he sniffles. and then he asks, feeling small and vulnerable, his heart still frightened: "are we safe...?"
--
SCAR
“Yes,” Scar replies, even if he doesn’t feel safe in the slightest. He feels under attack, though perhaps at least not physically. “…we’re having a sitting party.”
It’s a bit of a nonsensical thing to say, but Scar is trying desperately to reel himself in here. His eyes are only barely green, a blue sheen still hiding them away. He feels tense and uneasy, watching Tango in particular now with narrowed vision.
It flicks to Mumbo, accusatory in his stare. “I said we didn’t want visitors,” Scar states, guarded. “So why are you here?”
--
GRIAN
it is a bit nonsensical, the words sitting party taking a while to slot in grian's mind. but if they're having a party, that means there is someone else, right? the memories of the confusing, threatening voices feels fuzzy to grian. the danger has passed, the hunters are gone. they wouldn't be sitting down, wings released, having a party of all things otherwise—and scar confirmed they're safe.
which means...
maybe scar called them over, like grian asked?
he relaxes a little bit more, even as he still continues to wade his confusion. "flock...?" he asks in a tiny coo. 
he's leaning his head on scar's shoulder, staring blankly off in the direction of scar's other shoulder, not focused on anything in particular. his vision still swims. 
--
SCAR
“… Friends,” Scar corrects, because they’re not. “… They’re just—“ Scar swallows down some bitterness, trying to stay calm. “—worried about you.”
And then he looks back to Mumbo, eyes glowing a bit brighter again as he waits for his answer.
(They’re worried about Grian. Not him. Unless being worried of him counts.)
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
"mhn?" grian makes a confused sound at the word friends. it doesn't want to slot anywhere in his head. who?
mumbo, in the meanwhile, shrinks under scar's sharp attention. "we were worried," he offers, nothing more than a repeat of what scar's just said himself. 
tango steps in, pointing out: "you said he was sick. we wanted to check in on him."
--
SCAR
Scar’s ears droop at Grian’s clear inability to recognize the concept. But frankly, he doesn’t blame him.
With a sigh, Scar scans the three of them again, looking them over for any sign of trouble, but he notes a distinct lack of anything, which makes him frown.
“So, what? Did you bring medicine?” he asks rhetorically, because he knows the answer. “Soup? Blankets? Bath salts?”
His eyes narrow with each question.
--
OTHERS
there's a very clear faltering across the whole group. they exchange glances, slightly nervous. 
"i— we—" mumbo stammers, face flushing. he's suddenly feeling very uneasy. chastised. he stares at the bundle scar's holding, what he at first was so sure was a distressed avian probably really just a feverish one, and it makes him deflate. he didn't think past the anxiety enough to consider that scar might be telling the truth. (he's still not sure. he still needs to see grian, properly. he still wants to check.) (but the scales of probability are tipping in a way that makes him feel off balance and out of place.)
impulse sighs. he didn't have time to stop them long enough to ask them to be sensible and bring something for grian if he truly is sick. he is here as a chaperone and—oh boy is he glad he came. he can't imagine how this would've panned out otherwise.
"you weren't replying on the comms," tango soldiers through, still frowning, still a touch confrontational. he doesn't like the way scar's looking at him. doesn't like all his sharp edges. doesn't like the feeling that scar's still hiding something. "we didn't know what you need." he pulls slightly back, straightening up. "do you need anything?" he challenges. there already was a soup delivery by the front door, and it certainly doesn't seem like they're low on blankets.
--
SCAR
“I was a little preoccupied,” Scar replies dryly, frustrated that he’s still being questioned. “I’d think it’s customary to bring at least some sort of gift,” Scar continues to pry, not letting it go. Not letting it slide that they clearly came here out of fear instead of assistance. “But sure, sure, we certainly wouldn’t say no to some minty bath salts or some tea leaves.”
Scar briefly wonders if that’s all it would take to make this unwelcome trio leave. He doubts it.
“Or, you know, some peace and quiet so he can get some rest,” Scar concludes, tight jawed and eyebrows furrowed. At least his eyes are back to green.
--
OTHERS
mumbo recognises that they're being thrown out, but it just makes him dig his heels in. "we can bring some tea, but— but scar—"
it's tango who breaks this line drawn in the sand again, encroaching on a minefield territory. "we still haven't seen grian." because this sliver they can see right now doesn't count. it doesn't say anything about whether or not grian's hurt, underneath it all. even if grian begs for scar to be close. honestly, tango doesn't consider grian the best judge of that right now. unhealthy attachments exist!
--
SCAR
Scar exhales through his nose, slow and barely steady. 
Reluctantly, he lowers his wing, allowing an unobstructed gaze, though he makes no effort to close the distance between them. He doesn’t want that line broken.
“…happy?”
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
grian registers scar's wing falling away, and it makes him feel oddly exposed. grian isn't sure to whom; scar said their flock isn't here, but that they're safe. still, he ducks, hiding his face in scar's chest. that way, he can pretend he's still shielded. that way, he can pretend the world can't hurt him. (the way he can feel scar's breaths is just a nice, soothing bonus. scar's right here, alive, right next to him. perfectly in reach, as grian's fingers tug at him.) (he closes his eyes, willing the surroundings to stop tipping around them. his feathers fluff up lightly.) 
mumbo makes another strangled noise, and he moves as if to stand up, compelled to go closer. to check. to— 
to be there. 
grian's his friend, and there wasn't a time when mumbo wasn't allowed to be near. to take care of him when he feels unwell.
with blankets and grian's wings still firmly in the way, and grian's whole body turned away from them, mumbo still can't see anything. so no, he isn't happy.
"... grian?" he tries, calling out to him, coaxing him to look his way as he gets up to his wobbly feet.
--
SCAR
Scar bristles again, wings twitching as he instinctively growls, low and mercifully non-threatening, but it certainly doesn’t sound that way to an untrained ear. 
These are untrained ears. 
Scar registers the flinch in varying degrees from all three of them, and his ears twitch, then droop again in shame.
He can’t do this. He can’t let someone else close. It doesn’t matter how fidgety and awkward Mumbo is, Scar doesn’t trust him to come close.
Mumbo who says foolish things; Mumbo who looks at him like a stranger; Mumbo who cares so much that Scar can’t help but feel strangled by it as it weaves around him, passing him by and threatening to smother Grian in his disturbed state. 
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
grian makes an inquisitive mewl, a soft and small sound, unworried at scar's growl. he knows it's not threatening, so he just gently prods, inquiring as to what's wrong. what's bothering scar?
pointedly, he doesn't react to mumbo's call at all. as if he didn't even register it.
tango's rising to his feet now, too, but impulse puts a hand on his shoulder.
it doesn't deter tango, and they both stand up. still far away, but in a way the three of them are now towering over kneeling scar, looking down with varying emotions. 
"we'll get you some tea," impulse says, quiet, measured. he's looking directly at scar. he's trying to tell him that he sees him. that he doesn't blame him, no matter how stifling and explosive this situation is turning out to be.
"impulse!" tango squeaks, indignant, protesting. "he's hiding something!"
impulse's gaze cuts sharply to tango. "keep your voice down!" he hisses, frowning, then sighs. he understands they're anxious, but lines do need to be drawn.
for grian's sake as well as for scar's. 
impulse looks back at scar, tries to soften all the jaggedness from his pooling tension. "do you think you can get him to sleep? rest a little?" he suggests. "we will come back with the tea. if grian's asleep— we can look at him then? so he won't be scared of us?" he bites at his lip, and then adds: "just look. and we can help if you'll need anything else from us, yeah?" it's a gentle proposal, an attempt to find a tightrope that won't send them all careening towards some awful abyss.
--
SCAR
Scar feels so horribly small knelt down like this in front of people that are seemingly hellbent on misinterpreting his every move. His wings fall to the ground at the insinuation of him hiding something once again.
He’s not. He’s hiding Grian maybe, but he was scared— he asked for help and this is how Scar would help…
Scar trembles under the spotlight of their gazes, even if Impulse’s is softer. He feels like he can’t move— like he isn’t allowed.
“I… I want him to rest,” Scar agrees weakly, nodding once in exhausted misery. “You… yeah. You can check on him then.”
He still hates it. Hates the idea of someone in their nest. Hates that he’s still being more or less monitored, hates that he can’t be trusted with what he knows best.
Scar looks down to Grian, eyes big, barely holding back the fear that seeps into that forest green. “Can I take you upstairs? …nest?”
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
impulse softens further at scar's agreement, hearing the fatigue and defeat in his voice. it makes his heart ache, even more when he thinks about everyone else overlooking that. "alright... thank you, scar," he says gently.
then his eyes flick to find the exit, realising they're going to have to walk past. 
"can we... leave? or do you want us to wait until you go first?" impulse checks nervously, gaze jumping between scar and the avian he's cradling. he has a feeling scar doesn't want them here any longer than necessary, but impulse isn't sure if getting closer only for the sake of walking out is what he needs.
"or we can dirt pillar up," mumbo suggests with a nervous little laugh, attempting nonchalance and jokes, even as everything in him still rails against this. he's drawn forward, towards grian, like a moth to a flame. he wants to check him over, touch his skin, care for him. he doesn't realise he's completely disregarding scar in this scenario. doesn't realise he sees him as nothing but a mad guard dog, standing in his way for no reason. 
"you're giving up?" tango huffs, tail swishing. 
"i— what?" mumbo laughs again, more nervously this time. "we'll be back."
"what, so he can cover up his tracks?" tango pushes, frowning. all too aware that a potion or two are enough to hide most injuries. and an asleep grian can't answer any check-up questions.
it's impulse who growls now. "tango. scar isn't our enemy. he's our friend. maybe you should start treating him as such."
"i— wh— but—" tango stammers, completely taken off guard, ears pulling low.
grian, in the meanwhile, reacts to scar's careful, gentle question. his unfocused gaze lifts up, seeking to anchor in familiar green, feeling fragmented and vulnerable and still sick. "nest," he echoes, impossibly sad and hopeful, yearning. he sniffles, not paying their surroundings any attention; the memories still swirl through him, and nothing quite feels real.
nothing but scar.
he tips forward, wraps his arms around scar's shoulders in a weak hug, clinging to him in a position that makes it easy to carry him. 
"... can the bucket come with us?" he half-jokes hoarsely.
--
SCAR
Turns out it doesn’t feel good being spoken about like he isn’t right there, and Scar finds himself slumping forward in defeat, misery seeping deep into his bones.
His chest flickers once more, eyes clouded with a blue fog that only fades when Grian wraps his arms around. Grian, who does trust him and is deserving of his love and attention.
Wretchedly, Scar swallows down his anxieties, does his best to ignore the unwelcome surroundings. He doesn’t even provide them an answer, instead leaning down to kiss Grian’s (still dreadfully warm) forehead.
“Anything you need, G,” he croaks, rising on incredibly wobbly feet and hooking the handle of the bucket with his pinky. 
Wordlessly, he turns his back to his intruders and begins walking upstairs, unable to bear their presence any longer. His wings flick and tremble, uncomfortable being exposed to what he still inevitably seems as enemies. 
(It’s only fair considering how he’s actively antagonized.)
“So sorry about all this moving around…” Scar continues murmuring, feeling entirely off balance, but managing to stay steady only because Grian is in his arms. “We’ll get nice and comfy, alright? And our guests can bring the soup in.”
That’s the only acknowledgment they get.
--
GRIAN
grian lets out a soft noise at the kiss, a mix of comforted and still absolutely miserable. he isn't sure if he feels hot or cold, and his body aches. the nausea is ever-present, making any move a wretched matter, especially when coupled with his still spinning head.
he tries to hold onto scar a bit firmer, but his strength isn't there. he groans, whimpering. "slow," he pleads, not knowing how else to mitigate this.
he really doesn't want to puke if he can help it. although maybe having it over would feel better than this.
--
SCAR
“Slow,” Scar parrots, purposely stilling himself for a moment before continuing at a steadier pace. He didn’t realize he was rushing, honestly, but it makes sense.
He wants those eyes off of his back.
He thinks he hears the sound of pillaring blocks, and that’s likely for the best. 
“Nice and slow,” he confirms again, trying to keep Grian level once they’re past the steps. 
--
aaaand i’ll wrap it up with that. :3
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ropebuny · 1 month
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I miss having a dad and someone to look after me. I miss telling them how school went. I miss complaining and getting adult, fatherly advice in response. I miss sending them messages whenever I accomplished something and making them proud. I miss being comforted when I woke up from a scary dream. I miss being praised for being a good kid. I miss being read bed time stories to fall asleep to. I miss being upset and immediately going to dad for help with no hesitation. I miss being called their good little daughter. I miss the warmth I felt in my tummy whenever they made me laugh. I miss watching movies together. I miss feeling cared for and adored and loved
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kirby-the-gorb · 1 year
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