#like album 7 you can say that right like that must be a trip

[honeyvenommusic]

hoooo 1 week til the new Everything Everything album?!!?

[undead-supernova]

Island Breeze in the Dead of Night / Masterlist

Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7

plot: you're on vacation and you desperately want to tell Eddie you love him…and how much fear can you swallow before it overflows?

Pairings: modernrockstar!Eddie x fem!popstar!Reader (curvy!reader, bisexual!reader)

Warnings: brief discussion about eating/media body shaming, drinking, Eddie saying some spicy words

wc: 4.3k

“How’s it going over there on fuck island?”

You snorted at Este’s words, trying to pick up some speed on the treadmill. Luckily there’d been a gym on the island, a must for the tour you’d be preparing for in the next year. You’d been trying to build stamina, tired of wanting to drop dead while onstage. 

Not that there was an album to be toured. You had a few songs, sure. But how the fuck were you supposed to keep writing happy songs? And how were you supposed to do that within the next six months?

Nonetheless, you hated the treadmill. So you called Este. 

“It’s not fuck island,” you corrected. “But, to answer your question, it’s going great.”

It’d only been two days, but it had been blissful. You and Eddie spent most of the days together, lounging by the beach or sleeping. Eating whenever you wanted to. Meeting the rest of the band at the end of the night, one person assigned to cook for every day that you were there. Play board games. Make some drinks. 

And, yes, a lot of fucking. A lot.

Regardless, it was a very laid-back vacation.  

“I’m sure you’re all over each other like sick puppies being like, ‘I love you.’ ‘No, I love you more.’”

You kept quiet.

“You have said I love you, right?” Este asked, her voice slow and deliberate.

“I mean,” you started, trying to think of what to say. “He hasn’t said anything, so I haven’t.”

“You know that someone has to say it first, right? Like, you can just say it and see what he says.”

“I don’t know…”

“You are in love!” she exclaimed. “What else is there to know! If you don’t tell him six months in, then what are you doing?”

There were some things you didn’t like to think about. Especially on vacation in the British Virgin Islands where you spent most of your time sitting in the shade on top of your boyfriend. Why ruin a perfectly good time with talks of those kind of feelings? Why ruin the restoration of your bodies that never seemed to slow down? Why not allow everything to freeze in time for a little bit?

“You’re literally on an island right now,” Este huffed, as if she could read your mind. “How is that not the perfect time to say I love you while snorkeling with dolphins?”

“Under the water?”

“Okay, but what if you end up stepping on a sea urchin and it gets infected and then you die?”

You laughed but had to catch your breath as you sped up again. Beads of sweat dripped down your neck and disappeared into the fabric of your t-shirt. But you could tell some of that sweat was from something else entirely.

“Couldn’t he just pee on it?” you teased.

“Tell him you love him while he pees on your foot."

“Why am I friends with you again?”

“Because you loooove me.”

Before you could respond, there was a knock on the wall. Eddie walked in, startling you. You almost tripped but caught yourself, turning down the speed immediately. 

“Hey, how’s it going in here?” he asked.

“Is that him now?” Este teased.

“Uh, hey, Este, I gotta go,” you said quickly.

“Don’t let me stand in the way of true—”

You ended the call before giving him a nervous smile. 

Eddie was looking…well, he was looking good. He was in a Metallica tank top (a t-shirt he tore to shreds no doubt), black swim trunks, and, shockingly, black flipflops. His tattoos were littered over his arms and legs, the hint of one on his chest popping out. A wild bun thrown to hold his hair back, sunglasses perched on his head.

“Hey.”

“Hey, sweetheart,” he replied, walking over to give you a soft kiss.

You wanted to jump back, to keep him away from how bad you probably smelled but Eddie didn’t seem to mind. Though, he did pat your back instead of giving you a hug. You couldn’t blame him.  

“Wanna get some lunch before we hit the sand?” he asked, holding out his hand.

You nodded, maybe a little enthusiastically, happy to press your palm against his.

“Are you gonna let me shower first?”

“Maybe,” he whispered, leaning into your neck to lick up some of your sweat. “Stinky.”

Despite the small whimper that left your lips at the stimulation, you murmured, “You’re so gross.”

“Didn’t sound like you found it gross,” he teased, already tugging you towards the door.

You rolled your eyes, unable to deny the accusation. 

“Shut up.”

Lunch was peaceful, with Eddie ordering you whatever you desired. He told you to enjoy yourself, enjoy your time on the island. He was sweet like that, always encouraging you to eat what you wanted, whenever you wanted. It was something he never shied away from being made known.

“Why do you do that?” you asked him when a second piña colada was placed in front of you.

He gave you a grin, slipping another French fry between his teeth before responding. 

“I just like seeing you do what you want to do.” He leaned in further. “And, if I’m being honest, you always do what everyone else wants you to. ‘Oh, do this. Do that. Eat this. Don’t eat that!’ Fuck that. I hate that shit. You're not some clay pot they can mold or whatever. It's ridiculous.”

You couldn’t disagree. “And you think me eating all this food will change that?” you half-joked.

“I think you eating whatever the fuck you want and not worrying about what anyone else thinks is a good start.” He took a sip of his frozen margarita, one with a little umbrella, before adding, “And when you’re with me, sweetheart, you don’t have to compromise a damn thing. I’ll make sure of that.”

His words affected you more than you wanted them to. It wasn’t like he was wrong. Months and months ago, you’d let it slip that you ate extra healthy in public so tabloids couldn’t have “evidence” to slam you for your looks. That the sheer idea of eating bread or pasta was unheard of if anyone could see. (Not to mention having to order dessert to go, in secret in order to throw off the scent of fatphobic headlines.) You never won when it came to the media, even if you were content with how you looked.

By the time you and Eddie left the restaurant, well-fed and slightly tipsy, Eddie had you pinned up against any wall he could, lips attached to yours. Whispers of how pretty you looked, murmurs of things he wanted to do to you later. It left you in a fit of giggles that were quickly swallowed by his mouth.

It was a scene to behold, out in plain sight, but it was addictive. It was exactly what you’d wanted as a teenager who dreamed of true love. A love to call yours without hindrance from the opinions of others. 

You would stay forever if this was what the rest of your life looked like. Just the two of you, lovestruck on an island that seemed to leave you alone. 

When you set your stuff down at the beach, you couldn’t help but stare at Eddie removing his top. It was something else to see Eddie nearly undressed in public, sprinkled with dappled sunlight. Face risking the promise of sunburn, all rosy-cheeked and red-nosed. The scent of sunscreen wafting off him, sand somehow littering his hair. It was everything.

Under your sundress was that turquoise bikini Eddie had gotten you months before. You’d been wary about wearing it in public for the first time, but he promised you that people weren’t privy to taking photos here. That you were just as safe as you’d been in his pool. That you deserved to feel good.

And when you took the dress off, you could feel Eddie’s eyes raking over you. Because you turned, watching him stare at you through his sunglasses. He did that thing from the movies, pulling them down to the bridge of his nose, brown eyes dilating.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” you chided.

“Mm, I’d rather take a Polaroid,” he said, making grabbing motions with his hands so you’d come closer. His hands found your hips before giving them a light squeeze. “And then, you know, cum all over it later.”

His words had you flustered, looking around as you hoped no one else could hear him. The others on the beach were too far away, but you couldn’t help but feel exposed. Some part of you knew it was because of your swimsuit, but you tried not to let it eat at your brain.

“I’d like that,” you said back, quieter than before. “But you better shut that pretty mouth of yours before I drag you back to our place.”

“Our place?” he questioned, a cheeky grin popping out. You rolled your eyes as his face got closer. “You wanna call it ours?”

Too bashful to respond, you kissed his shoulder before stepping back and walking towards the water. He was right behind you, hands finding purchase on your waist. It was as if he was stuck to you, making sure he followed wherever you strayed. 

You couldn’t cope with how much you liked it.

You couldn’t cope with how much you loved him.

“Don’t like my teasing?” he asked as your feet touched the water. 

Shaking your head, you took a tentative step forward. It was hard to tell the full truth, no matter how much you’d already shared. For some reason, everything still felt so delicate. Even six months in, it felt like it could all slip from your fingers at any moment. Why call something “ours” when there was no promise that it would be there tomorrow?

And why the hell were you thinking like that right now?         

“I like it a little too much,” you admitted despite your reluctancy. Forcing yourself to make eye contact, you added, “The idea of something being ours.”

“Does it now?” he asked. His voice was playful, but you could see that it made him feel soft when he pursed his lips, dimples deepening. 

“Mhm,” you responded, feeling a bit more confident.

Eddie kissed your cheek. “I’ll keep that in mind, fair maiden.”

The squeal of a child is what awoke you. Eyes fluttering open, your eyes adjusted to the light behind your sunglasses. And the ache of them sitting on the bridge of your nose had you tearing them off. Which, yeah, was a mistake. 

The umbrella seemed larger than before, cocooning you from the rest of the beach. A little paradise in public, all warm and cozy. It wasn’t shocking to find that you’d fallen asleep. 

“What time is it?” Eddie asked from under you.

“We fell asleep. Again,” you said with a yawn, sitting up. “I think it’s two? Maybe?”

Eddie was already wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you back on top of him. Nuzzling himself back into you. Keeping you hostage.

“Good thing we napped, ‘cause we’re partying tonight,” he said with a mischievous grin. “It’s Emo Night over at one of the clubs.”

Raising an eyebrow, you looked down at him. “Thought you guys didn’t party anymore, old man.”

Throwing his free hand over his chest, he said, “We’re on vacation and you wound me.” Your shared laughter mixed seamlessly before he planted a kiss on your collarbone. “Come on, what do you say?”

You let out a huff. “I already said yes two minutes ago in my mind.”

Eddie looked up, grinning like a devil before pulling you down to connect your lips. 

You really could just stay there forever. 

You really, really could.

When you went to get ready for the night, your embarrassment set in as you stared down at your suitcase. You hadn’t brought anything black because you never really wore anything black. But you refused to say anything to Eddie or the others, too nervous you’d sound insecure. 

But the thing was that you were insecure. And if you did say something, Eddie would offer his clothes that you couldn’t fit into. So, instead, you sucked it up and made yourself look damn good in what you already had: a tight baby pink tank top and a short white pleated skirt with some wedges. The outfit complemented your curves, hitting your waistline just right. You were a beauty queen to behold, no matter how out of place you’d look tonight. 

When he got out of the bath, Eddie was there to shower you in compliments as he ate you out, skyrocketing your confidence like never before. And if you so happened to give him head before having to redo your makeup, well, it was worth it.

The two of you were rushing out the door, trying desperately to make it to the others in time before you had to leave. As you sped walked through the winding streets, you couldn’t help but look over at Eddie. He’d stayed in a black wife-beater and a pair of fitted black shorts. Kept his signature rings and beat-up black Converse. Hair in a low bun, eyes shadowed in sparkly charcoal, and his guitar pick choker. Your pretty boy, your gorgeous boyfriend. 

A chorus of greetings sounded the moment Grant opened the door. Everyone was decked in their usual ensembles, only altered slightly to accommodate the weather. Gareth, Jeff, and Grant even complimented you on your outfit, lowering your insecurities just enough to breathe momentarily.

But something you noticed was Ronnie eyeing you. It wasn’t obvious at first, just catching her gaze every now and then. By the sixth time you caught her looking you up and down, you were fully aware. Not to mention extremely confused by the behavior.

And it wasn’t something neutral. No, her eyes seemed to narrow bit by bit as Eddie held onto you. As he laughed with Grant over an inside joke. As he handed you another shot with a kiss.

Giving you this look that bordered on a warning. Like you were doing something wrong. Or, rather, she still expected you to make a mistake. Trip up and prove her right.

All you wanted to ask her was what could prove her wrong. What could you do to possibly give her the impression that you were worthy of Eddie’s affections?

But that was something you still wondered for yourself.

It was a chilling thought that you held the same questions. 

After pre-gaming with a round of shots and a shared joint, the six of you headed out to the club. Slightly cross-faded, the journey into the club was a little hazy. Because there were bodies upon bodies, all dressed like your boyfriend and the four others in your group. And you stood out for the most part, noticing glances from strangers.

But there was Eddie, arm snug around your waist as you made your way over to what seemed to be a private area overlooking the rest of the crowd on the dance floor. A shot was put in your hand and before you could think, the six of you were throwing them back like it was nothing. And judging by how drunk you already were, it sure tasted like nothing.

Right after slamming the glasses on the table, “If You Can’t Hang” by Sleeping With Sirens started, causing the crowd to cheer. You were one of them, looking at Eddie with a wide grin as he smiled at you.

“Ready to dance, pretty girl?” he asked.

You giggled. “Oh, I was born ready, pretty boy.”

The entire group moved to the dance floor, dangerously close to the growing pit. But you felt a surge of impulse, winking at Eddie and nodding over at the circle. A grin stretched across his face before you pulled him into the whirlpool. He howled in hysterical laughter as you went round and round, arms locked together as you moved around the pit. 

You yelled the lyrics with him, giggling at the way Eddie was straining to sound just like Kellin Quinn. Stomping your aching feet through a circle, stabilized by the people on the outside. Round and round you went, a carousel of sweaty bodies colliding, all blissful in the shared comradery. An adoration for music and human connection.

This was better than any after party you’d been to.

         “I met a girl talking away!

         She found a boy she knew she’d change!

         I changed my hair, my clothes, my face

         To watch us go our separate ways!”

What a gorgeous rush it was to be there with him. To be people for once, not just celebrities. It was just you and those around you, all able to enjoy this moment together. You were normal. You were human. 

And when Eddie grabbed you and swung you both out of the pit, he kept a grip on you. Kissed your temple before pulling you back towards the others. Swayed and let the people around you move you towards your destination.

“You’re fucking crazy for going in blind!” Jeff screamed as you neared, stabling you when the crowd jostled again. “Fucking crazy.”

You merely laughed, shrugging at him. “What can I say? I’m having a good time.”

“Have you ever been in a pit before?”

You turned at the sound of Ronnie’s voice, your smile starting to falter just a little bit. Just enough for her to catch.

Because no. No, you hadn’t. And you didn’t realize that that mattered to her. Or to anyone for that matter.

“Uh, no,” you responded.

“I think it’s hot,” Eddie said into your ear before looking over your shoulder. “She was great for her first time, right?”

You turned back around to meet his wild eyes, more interested in him than whatever the fuck Ronnie had to say about your behavior. He started singing again, attention now on you and only you.

It was addicting, gesturing with your hands as you screamed with your boyfriend at the top of your lungs. There was a certain form of catharsis that came from moments like these, fueled with the release of every negative emotion once associated with the lyrics. Now they were transformed into joy, a shred of light at the end of whatever tunnel that song had once held you in.

As the final verse kicked in, you pulled Eddie’s mouth to yours. Gasped at the way his fingers dug into your waist. Basked in the love that was overflowing from your heart. Your fingertips. Your eyes. Your mouth. Every piece of you was mesmerized by this moment, this little pocket of perfection that couldn’t be replaced. And, God, you truly believed for a moment that it was going to last forever.

         “Would you please stay and come inside, baby?

         Would you please stay and please be mine?”

To say that you were drunker than you’d been in months was an understatement. 

Shot after shot, one drink after another, you were filling up with a bubbly kind of adrenaline. You rotated in jumping into the pit, all of you ending up there at some point. What was left of a voice in your head kept you out of Ronnie’s way, her cold shoulder always too close for comfort. 

But Eddie suggested you get a final round. And who were you to pass up on that offer?

As you and Eddie headed towards the bar, you could hear the faint sound of someone calling both of your names. You didn’t want to turn, didn’t want to give attention to a stranger, but you couldn’t help it. And when you did turn, you saw a woman make direct eye contact with you.

All green eyes and wavy blonde hair, looking like a rock star’s girlfriend. Short denim skirt and even shorter crop top, smiling with mauve lipstick. She was really pretty. And then she looked at you, practically scoffing at your appearance. 

“Oh my god, Eddie?” the girl squealed, turning her face into something more innocent. “I’m a huge C-C fan.”

C-C?

And Eddie being cross-faded, all open and smiley, gave her a high five. 

“Hell yeah!” he exclaimed, chuckling.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she asked.

“A quick getaway with the band and my pretty girl over here.”

That’s when she finally acknowledged you. “Nice to meet you… You are?”

There was that little cut in your chest. You’d heard her say your name. She knew who you were. And she was making it very clear what your place was.

“Can I get a selfie with you?” she asked Eddie when you didn’t respond.

Here was a stranger. A fucking stranger trying to put you in your place.

Eddie nodded. “Fuck yeah, no problem.”

And Eddie wasn’t even aware. He couldn’t understand.

The girl turned to you, giving you a once over like Ronnie had earlier. “Actually, would you take the picture?”

And it was like a punch in the gut, her tight-lipped smile so different than the one given to your boyfriend. She was playing a game behind Eddie’s back, making her disdain for your presence known.

As you took the photo, some part of you couldn’t help but agree with her. Maybe your presence wasn’t as welcome as you once thought. Maybe you didn’t have a place here. Eddie just might not have seen it yet. Maybe he would soon.

When the girl walked away, bumping your shoulder on her way out, Eddie planted a sloppy kiss to your cheek and wiggled his fingers under yours before tugging slightly.

“C’mere,” he said, voice nearly overshadowed by the music. “Screw the next round. Lemme dance with my gorgeous girl. Hm?” You merely shrugged. “This reminds me of the night we met. Remember?”

That brought a smile back to your face. “How could I forget?”

He grinned, kissing your forehead. “Favorite Beatles song?”

“’Ticket To Ride’.”

“Excellent choice off of Help!”

You rolled your eyes. “Why thank you.”

“Just come here, baby.” How he was able to pull you closer was beyond you. “I’ll keep you safe. I promise.”

You sighed and nodded, letting him turn you around before heading back to the pit for another round of revelry and chaos.

“Did I stand out tonight?” you asked, the last of the alcohol turning you into a secret sharer. “Like, did I embarrass you?”

“What? No, baby. Never. Why would you think that?”

You and Eddie had sobered up by the time you fell into bed. But neither of you were quite tired yet, still buzzing off the energy of the nightlife. You caught each other’s eyes, heads on pillows turned towards one another. Moonlight dripping through the curtains. Eddie there, all porcelain and blue. All beauty and grace.

“’Cause I wasn’t dressed like you and Gareth and Grant and Jeff and Ronnie and—”

Eddie’s lips cut you off, all gentle and lovely.

“I like you just the way you are,” he said. “Would you want me to be someone else?”

You shook your head. “Never.”

 “Exactly.” Huffing, his eyelids drooped before they fluttered back open. A soft smile adorned his lips. “You called me a pretty boy in your song.”

You chuckled. “Yes, Eddie. Yes, I did.”

“You think I’m a pretty boy?”

“The prettiest.”

“I like that. Pretty boy. People think I’m all mean and scary.”

“In reality, you’re just a soft, pretty boy.”

“The softest,” he agreed. “And the prettiest.”

“I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry.”

“You already did, silly girl.”

You said nothing.

Eddie took your hand, holding it against his chest. 

“Wanna ask you something true.”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“What do you miss the most from before?”

You thought about it, fiddling with his tank top all the while. 

There was a lot about life before fame that still held value to you. The simplicity of going grocery shopping or to the farmer’s market. Writing in a coffee shop for hours while strangers flitted around you. Walking around thrift shops. Taking your time doing literally anything. 

But there was one place you could always stay invisible. A place that transported you to a different time, a different dimension. Come out a different person than before. You could almost taste the buttered popcorn and your favorite soft drink combo. You could almost taste that kind of anonymity again.

You smiled. “Probably going to the movies.”

“You could probably rent out a theater for a matinee showing. No one goes to those.”

“I did,” you said, smiling. “It was my favorite thing to do. Get a few dollars off, have the theater with one or two people who also had a day off. It was fun. I’d save up just to go see a movie.”

Eddie’s grasp on your hand tightened. “I think that’s cool. I always went to the movies and now I just pay for streaming. It’s actually pretty shit.”

“It sucks,” you agreed.

He let out a hum. “You’re making me miss it. Fuck.”

“Do you ever want to go back to that?” you asked softly. “You know, just being a person and not a celebrity.”

“If you asked me six months ago, I might’ve said yes.” The smallest smile reached his tired face. “But I never would’ve met you if I hadn’t gotten famous.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” you breathed.

“I wouldn’t trade you for the world.”

“I never want to be with anyone else ever again,” you confessed, closing your eyes. “I think you’re the best thing to ever happen to me. It’s just scary.”

“Don’t be scared, sweetheart,” he said, voice seemingly farther away than before. “You have me.”

And as sleep began to wash over you, you were left with one last sentence.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

A special thank you to @strangergraphics for her help with these cool dividers!!! Always in love with what you come up with.

[lunarsun12]

The Meat Thief

Masterlist

The kids were so excited to eat that really expensive meat. Which Yeosnag stumbled upon 2 days ago and Seonghwa promised to make them Korean BBQ.

When Seonghwa gave Yunho meat duty, he noticed the meat was gone and someone left the note with ‘sorry’ with a smiley face at the end. Yunho immediately knew who it was and automatically blamed it on Wooyoung.

Wooyoung couldn’t believe he got framed like that, as he practically saw San carrying outside and got kicked out of the balcony.

Wooyoung refused to let San getaway with this! Why did San steal the meat?

Back at Ateez Family Chat

Today 21:00

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: EVERYONE GET YOUR BUTT HERE. LET ME EXPLAIN!

Yeosang🍗: I should have made Yunho burn your Jimin album. When I had the chance

Yunho🐶: Wooyoung, what there to explain. It has you written over it! You the one who stole the expensive beef and ate it for yourself

Mingi🦄: Wooyoung did? I thought I saw San carrying it to grill outside

Yunho🐶: Mingi, stop defending Wooyoung! It’s obvious it was him

Jongho🍎: Yunho has point, San has never done nothing wrong unless wooyoung put him up to it!

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: Mingi is right!! It is San! He is the one who stole it!

Jongho🍎: Wooyoung bro, I know you hate the fact San is not really yours but you have to accept. He has grown up

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: AISH ASK THE MAN HIMSELF! He will own up, after I talked to him

Few mins later…

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: Remember what we agreed on

San🗻: Remember what? Ohhh yeah, Wooyoungie made me stole it ^_^

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: That not what we discussed!!

Seonghwa🌸: Kids calm down, Mingi is right. It was San who stole it!

Yunho🐶: Say what?

Yeosang🍗: Did wooyoung order him to do it…?

Seonghwa🌸: No wooyoung didn’t order him anything…I just happen to saw San hopping away happily saying ‘I am a smarty pants’

San🗻: Eomma you have no proof!

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: I checked the old man phone. Cause I know he has been spying on us again…I got video to prove it

Wooyoung sends the video…

Yunho🐶: Well this is unexpected…

Yeosang🍗: Never trusted that cute face

Yunho🐶: You thought San was cute?

Yeosang🍗: Huh? I-I didn’t say anything. That other spawn of Wooyoung…

Mingi🦄: YOU SEE! I wasn’t lying and you all started to gang up on me 😭😭

Jongho🍎: We didn’t gang up on you…

Mingi🦄: Huh? I saw San rallying up you all to annoy me…

Yunho🐶: Oh he must misheard the convo, to grab him so we can gang up on San…

Seonghwa🌸: He hasn’t been the same, after Toby is gone. Why did you steal it?

San🗻: Ermmm? Cause I was hungry and prove I can be smart without wooyoung

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: San is a good child, he must want to surprise you all

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: The surprise is in his stomach!

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: He means no harm, plus that meat is expired. I forgot to throw it out

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: It wouldn’t have gone to waste, if someone stop snooping into other people business…. so dinner was cancelled

Seonghwa🌸: Hongjong, my bestie calls! I can’t have anymore kids running around (see seonghwa therapy session here)

Yunho🐶: I am now less annoyed that we didn’t get to eat it

Yeosang🍗: Only somone who is this dumb, didn’t see the expiry date

San🗻: My stomach doesn’t feel good now

Jongho🍎: So is mine…

Seonghwa🌸: JONGHO? You ate some of it too?

San🗻: I shouldn’t have listened to Jongho, when he said I should steal the meat!!

Jongho🍎: Yah! It was for good cause!!

Jongho🍎: I deal you with later after my trip to the bathroom

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: I knew it! It always Jongho using my San for his misdeed

Yeosang🍗: You do that as well 24/7 especially against me!!

Yunho🐶: Thanks to Woosan, I have to be on Yeosang + Mingi watch…

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: I think we learn a valuable lesson here. Learn to share and you won’t end up like them

Seonghwa🌸: Orrr don’t be like your Appa and is too lazy to throw things out

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: What about the sharing part?

Seonghwa🌸: Hongjong? Have you been living under a rock. Sharing does not exist in this household after Wooyoung…

[supop]

What do you think BTS will do next as soloists? Which member has been the most impressive in Chapter 2?

Hi hey hello :) I’ve been MIA for months but I’m surprised to see I’ve still been getting lots of asks. Did you miss me? Did ya did ya did ya? Going by the number of messages in my inbox I’d say, yes :) Sorry for ghosting you guys; I simply got bored with BTS and stopped keeping up with the group as whole. Meanwhile, their solo era has been fun to observe, huh? Some things I expected, other things I did not. I’m sure you’ve all missed supop thoughts. So, without further adieu, here are my guesses for 2023-2024, in no particular order:

Truthfully, I’ve been trying to post for the past 3 days but tumblr is glitching, and none of my posts are saving. Just as I was about to say F it.... if you can read this, then the issue must be fixed, right? This post hasn’t been proofread, so ignore any grammatical errors and the weird use of punctuation. I have a flight to catch soon, so I’ll answer more asks when I land, and as always.... keep it cute~

Individual YouTube channels (starting off with this because there’s been rumors about it for months now; I doubt all members will have one, but I feel like j-hope or Jungkook may go this route. I actually started to believe it when j-hope posted about his new Leica camera a while back. I know he’s into photography, but there’s always a deeper meaning behind everything he does/posts and he’s been carrying that camera around to all the events he’s been attending; maybe it’s just me overthinking, but it’s giving vlog material at the very least. Each member has a YouTube topic channel, but this will likely be a platform for more direct professional/business use where other creatives are featured or personal use for vlogging, trips, unedited material etc. without constant company oversight; aka without every single piece of content being scheduled by bighit/hybe and distributed via weverse; I also wonder if any more of them will get solo shows like Suchwita on the BangtanTV channel)

Individual Twitter accounts (this one seems farfetched, but so were their instagrams at one point; if they do indeed go this route I can eventually see some members leaving it up to the company to handle their respective social medias while others take a more hands-on approach with their fans—since instagram alone already seems like a struggle for some; they can also repost content from instagram which would also give them more individual exposure since the two social media platforms tend to have completely different audiences; it would also be nice for collaborators/brands/media to be able to tag them directly instead of @ the group account; finally, there’s a reason why each member has stuck to uploading all personal content on their respective instagrams since Dec 2021, so expect the group Twitter to become even more desolate than it already is if this does happen)

Individual TikTok accounts (Instagram, YouTube and Twitter....then why not TikTok too? It would make more sense when it comes to promoting their solo music and once again connecting with their respective audiences/fanbases; it only makes sense for solo artists to promote their solo work on solo accounts especially when their music and personalities are all so different; that’s 7 different audiences that should be catered to instead of trying to fit everyone into one big purple-colored box. All 7 members together represent BTS, but no single member is a representation of BTS; there’s a reason why JITB is completely different from anything BTS has released as group, and it’s the same reason why Indigo is so different from JITB; someone who likes JITB may not care for 90% of BTS’s discography and the same would apply to other members’ solo albums that have yet to be released; this is the obvious truth, but armys will continue to delude themselves as if the term bias doesn’t exist.)

Individual Facebook pages (and lastly, Facebook because all artists need a Facebook page to be able to link their music to their personal Instagram accounts; the BTS official Instagram account has it but when you scroll through you only see JK and RM’s music, which to me isn’t fair to other members who have music under their official Spotify profiles; the members are artists first, right? not influencers, therefore, artistry should be respected in a similar manner)

Opening their comment section on Instagram (limited comments are boring, but i don’t blame them; I’d sure they’re well aware that a select group of their “fans” are unhinged; just look at the way those same “fans” have attacked people who they’ve deemed to be “wrongly” associated with them or people they’ve “accidentally” followed; honestly I’m also worried about the occasional wave of hate/d.threats some members would receive in their comment sections from deranged akgaes; I will never understand not liking someone, yet going out of your way to invade their public accounts or content posted related to them just to spew hateful nonsense or send d.threats about how much you don’t like them; take a breather because it’s never ever that deep. And if you ever feel the need to take it that far towards anyone (celebrity figure or not), then may your pathetic existence quickly reach its expiration date; people also seem to have a lot more balls on instagram, so it’s a good thing Instagram’s safety features are a lot better than Twitter’s—i.e., the report and block buttons def work)

Following more people on Instagram (lol honestly following 0 people isn’t anything new from the celebrity pov and we can all thank Bey for establishing that, but following only your 7 group members is just...meh; are they gonna live as 7 for the rest of their lives? No, but they probably have to keep it this way otherwise there’s a possibility that every single non-bts related account on their following list would be harassed and stalked to oblivion by deranged fans; not to mention as it is, BH/Hybe staff already do such a great job at leaking private info related to BTS, you would think their proximity to such high-profile celebrities would result in ironclad NDAs but I guess not...sigh when will we be free)

Individual brand deals/endorsements (this one is already under way and was really really obvious from the start because we all know “7 or nothing”—not necessarily their bond but the way they’ve been marketed to fans—has always been nothing more than a sales gimmick; seriously not every member will have the skillset that a specific brand is looking for, so let’s let the ones who shine, shine; instead of trying to sell the lackluster ones as a package deal; “buy one get one free” should never apply to people; for the members yet to be announced there’s been rumors of various brands so let’s just wait and see...hopefully no controversial brands are chosen.

Individual fashion global ambassadorships (similar to the above, except I think only the members interested in fashion should get involved in this, but then again, this is the k-entertainment industry we’re talking about, and as of late ambassadorships have become part of the whole “album promo” package deal; either way I’m sure the money is good for BTS, and at the end of the day it’s a win-win; interest or not, the artist gets paid and the brand gets “exposure”) **side note: ambassadorships are cool, but the real deal would be with whichever brand pursues a true partnership with the artist by creating a collaborative fashion line or collection that expresses their artistic vision through fashion and/or even a performance that speaks to the brand’s image. pretty red carpet and campaign pictures are nice, but what the world needs is a tangible piece that can be held or tangible memory that can be seen. I think that’s what truly separates the artist-turned-fashion icon/creative director/business mogul from the rest.

More fashion week appearances (so far we’ve gotten Louis Vuitton, Dior, Hermès. I’m glad j-hope didn’t/hasn’t yet? signed with LV otherwise we never would’ve gotten 3 completely different, yet ultimately iconic looks from him in the span of just 3 days; Jimin for Dior; Suga for Valentino; other members may also attend shows for the brands they will be announced as Global/House Ambassadors) **another side note: Hobi wore clothes from LV’s unreleased collection which is rare feat in itself and he was also invited behind the scenes, shown the collection prior to the show, and he entered and exited the venue via a private entrance that was reserved for VIPs. I also saw a photo of Hobi with the Arnaults. Do you know how difficult it is to meet them? You can’t just meet them lol, they’d first have to want to meet you. And Hoseok did that with not 1, but 3 (maybe 4 because 2 of the brothers attended the Dior show) members of the family, including the LVMH CEO himself. It’s not even enough to be a high-profile celebrity; You usually have to have a long-standing working relationship with them or with one of their brands which means their connection with Hoseok must run pretty deep, and they have plenty of trust in him as a global representative. The same thing applies to Hermès. They do no care how rich or famous you are. Before you’re even able to purchase one of their bags directly, you’d have to be a longtime/VIP shopper. Even then getting a bag isn’t guaranteed. You’ll forever be on a waitlist, it could even take years, until you’re invited to purchase one. You also can’t pick and choose which model or color of bag you want lol. Everyone knows about the Birkin, but most are lucky to even be offered a Kelly for purchase. And not only did Hoseok meet with their executives, they also gifted him a Haut à courroies 50 bag (the one in his airport photos upon arrival from Paris) which is one of their largest bags, and is more difficult to secure than a regular Birkin. In short, he got the full VVIP treatment from both rival brands. Who else can relate? With that said, more than an ambassadorship, there could be a j-hope fashion line or a collection of some sort in the works; or perhaps he was doing field research to decide which brand will be in charge of designing his world tour outfits....who knows, only time will tell; as for fashion week there’s still New York, London, Milan, more in Paris, and even Seoul; appearances and shows will depend on the brand)

More solo magazine covers (this also isn’t anything new but even Hybe’s nugu groups with zero impact and lots of payola are already getting solo covers in top magazines, attending fashion week, and having brand ambassadorships under their belts, so it’s ridiculous it took BigHit/Hybe almost a decade to allow bts members the same opportunity)

Vogue, GQ, Hot Ones? video interviews (as much as I love a good magazine interview, there’s nothing better than being able to observe body language; I was surprised when we got GQ’s ‘10 things Jin’, but it only proves that more spontaneous less unscripted interviews where the gp can easily tune in are no longer beyond the realm of possibilities; which means I’m expecting Vogue to come through with any of the following: Life in Looks, 24 Hours with, 73 Questions, Get Ready with, Beauty Routine, etc; more 10 things with GQ; and Hot Ones would be great)

More solo interviews (see tv appearances)

More solo TV appearances w/Korean media (I know that new Mnet program is currently in the works; and I’m kind of hoping for more popular variety shows and broadcasts; anything that would promote their music domestically vs. the fan-targeted content posted on BangtanTV)

More solo TV appearances w/Western media (it’s no secret that Korean media can be restrictive when it comes to artistic expression, so similar appearances at tv programs like late night shows for an interview and performance would be great; just like they’ve done for many years as a group, so it’s ridiculous how they’re not getting a similar promotional rollout for their solo careers)

More solo red carpet appearances (this one technically isn’t a stand alone event, but you can include any activities here that aren’t necessarily centered around them or any of the other ones I’ve listed; like them getting invited to a movie premiere of a friend of a friend’s)

More solo performances (probably minor ones because I really don’t think any of them will put on a performance as major or as lengthy as the scale of Hobipalooza’s headliner setlist and preparation; unless of course its j-hope himself; as for festival performances, there’s of course Lollapalooza, but we also have Coachella, Rolling Loud, Something in the Water, Wireless Festival, Splash Festival, Made in America, The Governors Ball; most of these festivals have a primarily hip-hop/rap-centric audience, so don’t expect vocal line to make any appearances. I can’t speak for Yoongi or Namjoon, but I doubt Hoseok will be interested in doing anything less than a headlining stage. Otherwise expect performances at the usual Western music award shows, year-end Asian music award shows, and South Korea’s music bank/inkigayo)

Solo world tour announcement (we can dream right?)

More solo music collaborations (there’s been many rumors on this one so let’s way and see; hopefully collabs involving actual good music and more collabs with artists that don’t cater to the demographic of bubblegum pop music lovers; seriously enough is enough with the abysmal lyrics and the lack of good production on some of these collabs)

More solo albums (duh! and emphasis on the solo part; as much as I love a good feature or collab, there’s no good reason for those featured artists to be eating you up on your own song, much less album; features should add to the album, not make the album itself—especially when you’re a musician who aims to establish an individual identity and move away from the idea that you’re nothing without bts/without other people propping you up; next: jimin -> suga -> jungkook -> v ; in that order of album release is my guess)

More solo singles/EPs (the 94s; Namjoon has been hinting a lot at releasing new music, so likely an EP; I think Hoseok will also release another album before he enlists, if not an EP; I think they both have more options than other members since they’ve already officially debuted as soloists)

Subunit singles/EPs (once all of vocal line have released their solo albums, i can see BH trying to push for subunits; don’t expect full on albums with only 2 or 3 members on it, but I can definitely see a single or two or more happening; again likely with vocal line)

More OSTs (original soundtracks; again with vocal line)

More individual enlistments (they all technically have until early/mid 2024 to enlist if the tentative 2025 BTS reunion is supposed to happen, but once you taste the high life of individual freedom can you ever really go back to the mundane days of group work? Yoongi has until the end of 2023, Hoseok and Namjoon both have until the end of 2024, Jimin and Taehyung 2025, Jungkook 2027; I’m curious to see—to the absolute horror of armys—if anyone, especially maknae line, will put off their enlistment past 2024....I think Hybe was foolish to announce a “comeback” date; only doing so to calm investors and give themselves an additional 2 years to “ease their dependency on BTS” by bridging the profit gap between them and all their other groups; well if all else fails, i guess they’ll have the company stans to rely on)

or Paired enlistments (again? I really doubt a 2025 reunion will happen simply because a lot of things aren’t adding up at the moment, but if they enlist in pairs it may be a sure sign otherwise. It still makes me laugh how this time last year armys were so sure they’d be getting a bts world tour announcement only for it to be a hiatus + enlistment announcement instead. The signs of exhaustion from the members and lack of effort with the group in all aspects were way too obvious. I will never understand why fans keep deluding themselves. Seriously what group at the peak of success releases an anthology as an album? With only 3 new songs? And the purple warriors ate it right up. They could’ve at least put the demos on streaming platforms. Don’t even get me started on the 3 english songs that took over a year of “convincing” before the members agreed. Lmao my point is bts have never 100% been open about their plans, yet we all know they plan and settle things months in advance. Which means enlistment had likely already been decided on prior to the second leg of the ptd concerts. And yet, they showed no signs of it and acted like everything was swell. Even RM said the 2025 date was tentative; there’s also the Expo 2035 to consider, but after all those infrastructure problems, I’m pretty sure Busan won’t win the bid. People should accept that if the members want to keep doing their thing solo after 2025, then that’s okay. If they come back as a group, then that’s okay too. These days most of them seem happier and lighter being able to do their own thing without being tied down to the rigorous schedules that come with being “7”. So, why pressure them to do anything more as a group just to fulfill the selfish desires and needs of fans?)

Dating news ??? (this isn’t a big deal either and it’s none of our business but all it really takes is one member to open the floodgates of deranged hyperventilated tears; although it’d probably be in their best interests to continue to keep their personal lives private for that very obvious reason)

Grammys attendance (BTS has several nominations, but I doubt all 6 members will attend; j-hope’s Equal Sign was submitted for “Best Song for Social Change”; there’s been hints of a Pharrell collab involving RM; I doubt the Recording Academy will want to miss out on that BTS viewership clout so I expect at least one or two members to attend and maybe we’ll even get a performance from them)

Met Gala attendance !!!!!! (first comes FW....then comes....seriously, j-hope is just wow and this has to be said. I’ve seen the photos/videos from PFW and modeling/posing aside, not only does his entire aura change, but even his etiquette and mannerisms change depending on where he’s at and what he has on. It’s like the outfit and environment molds itself to him. It’s almost as if cameras were created for the sole purpose of capturing his presence. You know how Koreans have this thing of calling someone “Human [insert brand name here]” j-hope is like that but with every brand. As a longtime lover of fashion, it’s rare to see someone be able to digest every style so well. I can actually count on one hand the number of celebrities who are able to pull it off. He fits perfectly in everywhere he goes, and it’s no wonder why every show gave him the best seat in the house next to all their executives and other notable figures in the fashion industry. It’s amazing, not only do brands love him but so did all the photographers/journalists. He gives you something to write about just by simply existing. So it wouldn’t be a stretch to expect the star of this year’s Paris Fashion Week to finally make his Met Gala debut this May, right? Imagine j-hope attends, goes all out and does one of those behind the scenes ‘get ready with me’ videos with Vogue. Do you see the vision? He’s the only member who has a genuine passion for fashion, does his research, looks good in everything he wears, and isn’t just content with wearing whatever a stylist hands him. He’s also the only member who I’ve seen several designers go out of their way to praise. This year’s Met theme is super flexible too and I’m sure there’s lots of brands that would absolutely love to see j-hope ‘The MVP of Fashion Week’ dressed in their designs)

Hope On The Street Comeback (putting this out there just because there’s rumors that people saw him filming something dance related in Paris; what could it be? maybe for his YouTube channel? a MV? maybe LV ad campaigns or commercials of him dancing? one of the models danced at their recent show so i’m sure they’re open to incorporating more of that type of creative expression in their marketing; either way, if the rumors are true, then naturally we’ll find out soon enough because it’s j-hope)

Drama/Movie roles (lead, second lead, or guest appearances; I don’t think any of them will go this route until they’ve at least released a solo album because if they’re actually serious about their solo music careers, it’s much easier to take an established artist-turned-actor seriously, than it is to take an amateur actor-turned-artist seriously—especially in these fragile times of solo uncertainty for many)

Contract renewal announcement (their contracts expire in 2024?, but I don’t think all of them will renew with BigHit/Hybe; I doubt there’ll be any news on this until later this year at the earliest...although there may be leaks and speculation here and there; since solo activities are in full force—besides re-releasing BTS’s entire catalog as vinyls and repackaged special editions—I’m curious to know what other ways hybe plans to milk them during their hiatus in order to keep pumping that BTS money into their new groups and push a BTS successor. Gotta keep those investors happy, right? Hybe has always had a lot of internal issues with their staff and the way things are handled. Hybe has also spent the last two years promoting their plans to “reduce dependency on BTS”, and have been investing in any and every venture, to the point that their slogan “we believe in money” should be changed to “we believe in profit”. If you notice any positive deviations in the company’s usual behavior regarding how the members are being managed, then they’re likely trying to butter them up behind the scenes to get them to renew. I’m also curious about the current status of their contracts, and if any new conditions were added regarding their solo work; I feel like some may have already renewed but, again, I could be wrong; half the members have already sold a portion of their 1.2% in collective hybe shares; all it really takes is for one member to leave the company and I’m pretty sure at least half would follow suit; there’s power in solidarity)

That’s all that comes to mind for now. As for your second question (which member has been the most impressive in chapter 2) if it wasn’t already obvious, the answer is: j-hope. It’s only been 6 months, and between his solo debut, critically-acclaimed album, multiple iconic performances, being the star of Paris Fashion Week, documentary on the way. Who else is doing it like him? He’s been booked and busy since the group’s hiatus was announced, accomplishing all that in just 6 months. He set the bar high for himself and continues to raise it. 2022 was the year of HOPE and there’s no signs of him slowing down in 2023. He deserves all the recognition he’s getting because not only is he the most impressive, he’s also produced the most impressive results overall. Let’s put bias aside and face the facts because anyone who says otherwise is a l-i-a-r.

I’m sure the haters are gonna say “he only accomplished all those things because he was the first one to release his album”. Well, any of the other 6 could’ve released theirs first, yet here we are 6 months later where some of them still have nothing close to a finished album and are busy idling their time away. Any reason they give for not being in the studio working is an excuse. Not to mention j-hope was working on his solo debut and preparing solo performances while BTS was still active as a group, meanwhile others were what? Taking vacations? Partying? Playing video games? Not that there’s anything wrong with doing any of that. If you want to rest, then by all means rest, but don’t expect to be on the same level or have the same results as someone who consistently works hard like j-hope. Even with the group being inactive it was only j-hope showing up to every award show in the name of BTS (Jin enlisted, but what were the other 5 busy doing)? Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.

“Effort plays an important role in trying to stay where I am now. I will always try my best because efforts will never betray me.” — j-hope, 2018; “Efforts never betray you....All my efforts have never betrayed me....Looking back, the efforts I made didn’t betray me, in the end.” — j-hope, 2023

And “j-hope always has a plan”, so it’s only natural for him to never miss out on a golden opportunity to show the world who he is and what he’s capable of doing. It’s one thing to be talented, it’s another thing to have excellent work ethic, strong social skills, the confidence and charisma to pull off anything. Not to mention he’s always super genuine, humble and polite with everyone he meets—and we can’t forget that heart-shaped smile. These attributes go a long way and are invaluable especially when you work in industries as cutthroat as music or fashion where first impressions are always a make or break. That sort of discipline and awareness isn’t built overnight. I’ve seen some videos of j-hope’s PFW interactions (with executives, photographers, and just recently, his bodyguards) and it always makes me go: “wow I want to meet him, I want to talk to him, he seems like a really nice guy, he’s a natural model, he’s super good-looking, I can’t help but smile too”. So, imagine how all those people on the receiving end of his affections feel? Exactly. Hence why j-hope will continue to be invited into those exclusive spaces. His body language is always warm and inviting, he’s good at connecting with people from all walks of life. Even something as simple as a smile or wave is enough to make someone’s day and j-hope gets that. The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that he’s the main reason BTS even lasted this long as a group. Other members don’t call him “갓이홉” (god j-hope) for nothing. **final side note: even the way j-hope reposted all those photos from local photographers on his IG story is so ¡wow! Lots of celebrities wouldn’t even bother. Not only is he giving them more exposure in such a competitive industry, he’s also letting them know how much he appreciates their work. And some of these photographers often run around FW for free in order to build up their portfolios. Now, you never know who could’ve watched his story, saw those photos he reposted, and offered them a job. It’s little things like that, that go a long way, because guess what? The next time he comes back to Paris the same photographers will be happy and ready to capture him on their cameras. In fact, notice how some of them posted even more photos of him after that repost? Exactly. j-hope should really teach a masterclass on networking and building connections; the first thing on the agenda? Making the best first impressions. The second thing? The subtle art of personal branding. Don’t try to give Bighit/Hybe any credit either because as we’ve seen from some lackluster solo activities and the incredibly botched debut solo album rollouts (especially j-hope’s and especially when compared to the debut of other groups under the same company), thus far, BH/H does not give enough fvcks about BTS as soloists to invest money into them individually. the same way they’re currently doing for their other groups; they might care for some members more than others so a sponsored opportunity or two may come in the realm of that possibility, but they definitely value “OT7” above all because that’s where they believe the money lies. Ultimately, how each member’s solo career will turn out relies heavily on their ambition, respective goals, personal initiative, the drive to want more and to be more in their own right. They may be at the top as a group, but as soloists they’re just getting started.

I wrote this post about a year ago, and it seems that Hoseok has finally given us an answer. He’s clearly in it for the long haul and plans to have a very long and very flourishing career in both music and fashion; chess, not checkers~

[loudstrawberryblizzard]

Childhood memories of Madison "Maddie" Frost

Madison (or Maddie for short) was born in the wintertime in 2001. She is the daughter of Jack Frost with long snow white hair and blue eyes and

… in a relationship with Izumo Kamizuki (one of those 2 Naruto besties) since 2 and a half years 😊

And when Jack's mother Gwynne Frost (inspired by Chris Pine's mum Gwynne Gilford) heard Maddie’s laptop (or iPad) having an incoming video chat from her friends, she hoped her beautiful granddaughter didn’t mind if she answered it to let them know when Maddie will come back.

"Hey, Maddie, you there? Answer us?" one of her friends called out.

"Hmm? Oh, it’s you sweethearts. Madison’s not here but I’ll let you know when she’ll come back if you like." Gwynne said.

"She’s not? If she’s not here yet, then where has she gone to?" Sakura asked. Jack entered his daughter’s room and happily said "Maddie’s out of the house giving the kids some snow days right now! From Burgess to all the way to Los Angeles." "You’re Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians, Maddie’s dad?!" Sakura asked and couldn’t believe who she was seeing. "Sakura, didn’t you know? I’m a winter spirit and one of the guardians just like Maddie and decided to visit your village after a snow day I give some kids to." Jack proudly replied to the cute pinkette. "Is Naruto still scared of ghosts?" He teased in a cute way. Sakura said "Yep, Naruto’s still scared of ghosts."

"You’re Jack Frost, Maddie’s dad from Rise of the Guardians?!" Wilbur’s 19-year-old daughter Wimlah (you can call her Stocking if you want) asked in delight. She has long black hair, green eyes and her skin as pale as Sai. "You’re as really hot as my dad and he’s made all the girls he slept with became my stepmoms since he was around my age! 😊"

"I’m hot?!" Jack grinned and fanboyed at the question. "She said that I’m hot! And oh yeah, your dad and I are both all natural!"

"Please stop scaring the kids, Jack." Gwynne said. Jack brought in large, violet-navy coloured, heavy-looking album book "Would you like to see some childhood memories?" "Sure you can!" Her friends cheered. Jack went on the first page of the photo album and shared "I took this picture on your very first school day! Maddie never liked when I took pictures of her very much but Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Stocking and TenTen loved it!" The first photo of Maddie and the girls when they were 6-7. Jack moved on to the second photo "And one time we were on an annual family Christmas trip to Toronto and Vancouver in Canada 🇨🇦 which must be always the coldest country in the world most of the year." "Awesome!" Maddie’s friends Kotetsu, Yamato, Naruto, Kiba, Deidara, Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Shikamaru, Wimlah, Lee and TenTen and Maddie’s boyfriend Izumo cheered.

"I’ve also got a lot of baby photos from there! Sakura, you were here too, remember?!" Jack cheered happily. "What?!" The pinkette reacted in shock and embarrassment. "AAAAGHH!!!" "Aren’t you guys so cute or what?" Jack asked with a huge heartwarming smile for cuteness. "Oh man! Why did I have to pose for the camera?!" Sakura asked angrily in embarrassment. "Let us see some more!" The boys cheerfully demanded being prepared.

Jack moved on to the next photo turning the page "This is little baby Maddie!" A photo of baby Madison in her crib with shorter fluffy snow white hair and wore a purple and blue footed pyjamas and had a lavender pacifier with a small snowman plushie.

"SO CUTE!!!" Izumo and the other boys exclaimed cheerfully and happily. "Yeah, yeah!" Jack agreed with the boys happily. "And here little baby Maddie is sleeping!" Jack showed another photo of baby Maddie sleeping in her fluffy blue blanket in her crib. "AWWW! ❤️💕♥️" the boys reacted. Jack moved on to another baby photo "And here I bathed her and changed her diaper!" While the boys were fussing cheerfully and representing the cuteness. "He’s even worse than any of either of our parents!" TenTen said. "Which would be a total drag." Shikamaru added. "Yeah, we pity Maddie." Sakura agreed. "Agreed big time." Ino added. Then suddenly, before Jack could move on to some more photos, he felt the album book being snatched from his pale hands. "Hey!" "Stop that! Madison will freak out again!" His mother Gwynne scolded. "My first girlfriend gave birth to my girl for many painful hours so I damn well can show her pictures if I want to!" Jack replied to his mother getting angry. "Hands off my treasure, you young-looking old hag!" "You damn Amazon winter man!" His mother replied.

"To be continued." - Jemaine Clement as Nigel from Rio

[lezzy-bordon]

.

Do you remember driving that night? You made me sit in the car and watch you. When I ask you said you weren’t crying as tears leaked down your face. You put on that Dead Cab album. The one we listened to in the drive home after our first kiss. We were just kids.

You made me sit there in the front seat on the way to the dealer’s house that you made me be the point of contact for (to be fair to you, I like having you rely on me for something you needed so badly).

You wouldn’t talk to me. Just made me listen to our teenage love while you wept. You pulled out your heart and ask me why I would hurt you like that.

My first birthday of our relationship you got me a new journal. I wrote all the time, but always only in my physical journal. You wrote the lyrics to my favorite death cab for cutie album in the first page. Marching bands of manhattan. The opening track on plans.

I can smell the air of the earliest morning hours high in the mountains, where it still gets cold even in august. Everything felt new and fresh. I remember a lighter heart in my chest. I remember your warm mouth and having fun and thinking this must mean we were dating - even though we never really talked about it.

You gave me a new journal with those lyrics in it. You said I was going to fill up that old journal soon enough at this rate. You knew I only liked unlined journals and that I’ve always found having a piece of someone’s handwriting to be a special type of intimacy.

“Your love is gonna drown”

I think that boy died the same day Eric died. But maybe that’s an over simplification for the sake of narrative. You dropped out of school and disaffected and hit me a year before he shot himself. Maybe it was when I let you fuck me.

You were nice to me at one point. You were a sweet boy. You cared about me, you supported my voice and creativity. You believed in me. We worked hard and created together. You didn’t treat me like something easily breakable, which felt like recognizing my hard earned strength. You were my friend.

I miss that boy so much. I was in love with him.

I wanted him there, in that car with me. That whole year.

I wanted my friend. I knew coming out was going to hurt you, but I wanted you to still love me. I still wanted 7 years of friendship and cocreation to mean something to you. I wanted to still matter even after I took my body away for good. But it didn’t. You spoke to me twice after that day. But I guess after you acted like that, what was left to say?

I psyched myself up to come out, reading other late in life lesbian stories. Everyone who talked about her husband, her best friend, standing beside her despite the hurt made my heart ache. I wanted that from you so badly. But I knew you never would. And you never disappointed when it came to failing me.

You’re crying so hard, even if you deny it. Can you see the road? We’re going 75 on the highway. You could run off and decide to kill us both on a whim. You said you hate yourself enough to do it, and you seem to hate me right now too. Will you decide to control the narrative and keep us together in the end, no matter what I say? You were always good at deciding, no matter what I tried to say.

I have to go up to the weed dealers door and smile at the neighbors while we do our covid-conscious drop.

Then I get back in the car and hope when we get home you’ll get high enough to pass out and forget to go in to your regular coercive guilt trip where you say I must not love you because I’m not fucking you. That you would believe I love you if I just let you fuck me. Maybe you’ll even fall asleep before I feel guilty enough to open my body and relent.

Your love is gonna drown.

[rastronomicals]

2:48 PM EDT April 7, 2024:

Robin Trower - "Too Rolling Stoned" From the album Bridge Of Sighs (April 20, 1974)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

So: after 1983's Back It Up, James Dewar retires as the voice of the Robin Trower Band. But Robin of course wants to keep playing, so he hires a guy named Dave Bronze to sing for him and to play bass. And I'm sure Dave Bronze is a nice enough guy, but to say that he doesn't have the baritone presence of either Dewar or Jack Bruce would be a little of an understatement.

It is against this background that I tell you how my buddy and I went to see Trower in the late '80's, as the guitarist was touring off either Passion or Take What You Need.

My buddy is thinking how great it would be to have an autograph of Mr. Trower, but the other salient fact is that my buddy was not a vinyl guy; he was a cassette tape guy. I told you this was the '80's, right?

So he does what's required and makes a special trip to the record store to try and buy some Trower on vinyl, so he can take it to the show and have the guitarist sign it.

But then as it turns out, said record store doesn't have any Trower on vinyl--all it has on vinyl is The Best of Procol Harum. Certainly not ideal, but hey, he'd made the trip and he wanted to have something for Trower to sign, and Trower DID play on many of the cuts, so, no doubt thinking about our imperfect universe, my friend buys The Best of Procol Harum.

So we get out to the show, and Dave Bronze ain't James Dewar, but Robin remains Robin, and it's pretty fucking great, even if the songs from Passion are perhaps a little too obviously poppy. And my buddy's clutching his Procol Harum record throughout.

And then afterward, he sees a small throng forming stage right, and he's like, that's where I'm going, and I'm like, I'll be outside.

I'm through my beer and into a second one outside when he stumbles up to me with a sour expression on his face. And it turns out there were a bunch of people queuing up, but Trower never opened the stage door-although Dave Bronze did. So with much the same feeling that he must have had when he bought the Procol Harum record, my friend exercised the limited option he had available to him, and had Dave Bronze--who most likely never even MET Keith Reid or Gary Brooker--sign his copy of The Best of Procol Harum.

1/12/24 EDIT: Oh shit, looks like Dave Bronze was actually a member of Procol Harum! Trower rejoined Brooker and Reid for a 1991 album and he brought Dave with him. Point still remains, I'd think.

--

[writingsfromhome]

Crystal Clear

A/N: Here’s some fluff, friends to lovers I’ve had going on while I work on something bigger :))

----------------------------------------

“Y/N,” a strange man calls my name. I look him up and down but I don’t think I know him.

“Who’s asking?”

“Y/N, it’s me? Harry.”

“Oh,” I laugh and greet him how I would have if I’d recognized him under all those layers, in a great big hug. “Your disguise is brilliant!”

“It’s not a disguise,” he says into his coat. “It’s bloody cold here.”

“Coldest day so far,” I accept the hot chocolate from the vendor and ask him for another, Harry could use one, poor thing. His plans this week were changed last minute, and since he was in New York City where his best childhood friend lived, he decided to actually hang out with me. Ever since he got famous, it was hard to catch time with him.

“Did the cold freeze all the English out of you? You’re not even wearing mittens,” Harry accepts his own cup from the vendor.

“I’m got them in my pocket,” I point to the bulge on the side of my coat as we step aside and make our way deeper into the winter festival that was at Bryant Park. “Don’t insult me, I can still make a better cup of tea than you ever could.”

“There she is,” I hear the smile in Harry’s voice more than I see it. It truly was ridiculous--not only was he wearing the thickest parka I’d ever seen, he also had on a beanie and a scarf, as well as knit gloves that held tightly to his hot chocolate.

“I’m always here, you’re just too busy to see me.”

“Not this again,” he groans. I was always giving him grief every time he touched down to NYC but didn’t pop by for a visit. I knew he had a hectic schedule, and even though I wasn’t that bothered I still liked to tease him.

“It’s true, you come to the city so often but I see you once a year. And maybe again when I’m in London if I get lucky.”

“I’m busy Y/N, I talk to you all the time!”

“I know,” I elbow him. “I just like to rile you up.”

“Well now that you’ve got that out of your system,” he tugs my hat over my eyes. “Where are we going next?”

I push it back up, “I thought we could just wander the shops, then get on the skating rink if you’re not frozen to death.”

“Alright I’ve got to pick some gifts up anyway let’s see what’s here.”

We make a good team as we visit stands selling ornaments and kitschy decor, handmade gifts, and hot cider. We sift through exactly what we might want, or what the other’s looking for. And with the light dusting of snow coming down, and the bright lights strung around the Park, it was like walking in a Christmas movie.

“Look at this,” I point ahead. We’d nearly visited all the stands and holiday shops but a festive psychic advertises their services in a small glass booth. “Should we?”

“It’s a waste of money,” Harry scoffs. “She’s just going to read your body language.”

“She might be the real deal-”

“You can’t be serious-”

“C’mon!” I tug his gloves hand and it takes a few but he stumbles towards me. It’s slightly warmer inside and I notice the space heater running in the corner. “At least it’s warm” I whisper to Harry.

“You really want to do this?” He asks one last time.

“It’s just $10-”

“$20 for the two,” the woman almost shifts out of the wall and I hide my jump with a laugh. There’s a curtain behind her, I realize, she must have stepped out.

“It’s just me,” I clarify.

She eyes Harry and Harry eyes her back. “You look familiar.”

“Just have that face,” he shrugs, burrowing into his scarf. “I’m just here to watch.”

She stares at him a moment longer before settling at the small table. I flash Harry a smile before sitting down myself, setting my bags onto the floor.

“Palm reading, cards, what will it be dear?” The psychic asks. I remember the sign out front said cards would be more than having my palm read so I opt for the cheaper option.

“Hm,” she says thoughtfully as she traces the lines on my palm. I wriggle my eyebrows at Harry and he rolls his eyes, but he stays watching her like a hawk. It was cute how overprotective he got sometimes. The psychic glances up to catch him watching her, she then glances at me and tilts her head.

“I see longevity, in life and love, a few bumps but you’re a strong persistent woman.”

Harry grumbles behind me and I resist the urge to say something to him.

“I see success after hard, hard work. But a big success that will change the course of your career.”

“Wow, how soon?” I ask.

“Mmm, after a big milestone. Turning 30?” she continues to examine my hand. “I see a second life later in life, with kids...just one no maybe two children.”

“How about her love life?” Harry asks. “Her last love s’not too nice.”

“Seriously Harry?” I turn to glare this time. He’s grinning with flushed cheeks, knowing it was a sore spot he liked to say i told you so to. It was true, he had told me so about my 3 year relationship but I’d ignored him.

“Your love life,’ the woman speaks up. “Shows me two great loves. One cuts short, the other is as long as your life line.”

“Ooh,” I lean in, interested. “I think I know about the one that was cut short. Tell me about the second!”

“This second...” she traces my palm and I feel a tingle. “This second love is very close, a bit rocky but it will last.”

“A bit rocky?”

“Hm,” she chews her bottom lip. “Time, distance...it will make it rocky. But it lasts.”

“So how close is close?” I ask eagerly.

“Close,” she says with a smile that tells me I wasn’t getting anything else out of her.

“That’s a bit vague isn’t it?” Harry pipes up from the back.

“The future isn’t always crystal clear,” she says without looking up at him.

“Lay off,” I scold him.

“It’s okay, I get nonbelievers all the time.” She laughs. “That will be $10 dear.” When I hand her the bill she stops me as she takes it. “A little free advice?”

“Sure.” I pick up the bags I placed on the floor earlier.

"Don’t be so focused on the life you want that you don’t see the life you have around you.”

“I’ve actually told her that before,” Harry decides we want more of his unsolicited opinions. “Maybe there is something true to all of this.”

“Thanks,” I pocket her words for later. Harry was right, he’d said something along those lines to me before, especially when it came to giving up control and going with the flow on trips and events with him. I always declined his offers, we lived a modest life growing up and accepting these gifts from him always felt so excessive. I wanted to make my own way in the world, but Harry always had something to say. “And sorry for his attitude, he’s not always this rude.”

“Yeah,” Harry shifts forward. “I didn’t mean anything by it, I’m a lot nicer usually.”

“I know,” she smiles.

“She’s psychic,” I remind him.

“I’m also online,” she laughs. “Can I get a picture?”

Harry eyes me, before going in for a selfie with her. I know he usually didn’t mind getting asked in smaller settings but he’d admitted it was something he was still getting used to. It had been a couple years since he became so famous, in such a short amount of time I went from being able to go down to a local pub with my best friend to schedules and security details and a whole other list of complications. Sometimes I hated it, mostly I was happy for him.

“Another day, another fan.” I tell Harry after we walk away from the psychic and he flips me off. “Should we get something to eat and get out of the cold?”

“God yes,” Harry shivers. “Can we just go to yours?”

“Let’s go,” I loop my arm through Harry’s.

Harry wants instant warmth so he hails a cab and we pick up takeout once we reach my neighbourhood. Harry had been here a few times, my roommate had gotten used to the fact that I was best friends with him, and sometimes he preferred to stay here when he wanted to be anonymous. Paparazzi sometimes crowded outside his hotel when word leaked he was there.

We eat ourselves into a food coma and Harry decides to stay the night, not wanting to face the cold again. Since our living room couch sprained his neck the only time he’d slept there, he usually crashed in my bed. His head barely hits the pillow before he’s snoring, I guess the jet lag finally caught up.

***

I jerk out of sleep, a crashing noise followed by swearing catches my attention.

“I think your roommate dropped something,” I hear from beside me. I turn my face to get a facefull of Harry’s thigh tattoos.

“Y’think?” I croak and shift backwards to see his face. He’s sitting up in bed and scrolling through his phone.

“Guess which psychic is officially internet-famous?” Harry asks dryly.

“Hm?” I’m still calming my heart from waking up so suddenly so it takes a moment to register Harry’s words. “What?”

He shoves his phone in my face, the selfie he took with the psychic yesterday is posted on social media with over half a million likes. He swipes away and a lot of his tag is filled with news outlets and fan accounts spamming the picture. He pulls it back to read a heading: “Harry Styles visits Psychic for ideas on his next album. There’s also Harry Styles rumored to be connected to the Occult...I don’t know what that means. Psychic tells all on Harry Styles reading.”

“How did that picture circulate?” I rub my eyes and sit up beside him. “And where is all of this coming from?”

“She has a Twitter, and she posted the picture.” He shows me, it’s there with the caption A handsome face showed up to my booth at the Bryant Park Market tonight. Get your future told, 5pm to 9pm 7 days a week.

I can’t help but laugh, she was a business woman and she really took the opportunity to sell her service.

“It’s not funny Y/N,” Harry looks furious so I cover my mouth and squint at his screen as he scrolls. A ton of people are responding asking about his future or what he came there for. Amongst them, she responds to only one person: His love life was involved.

My jaw drops, “That’s such a lie! She read me my love life, and life lines!”

“I told you she was a fraud,” Harry jerks the phone back to him.

“She lied for sales, but doesn’t mean she didn’t tell the truth yesterday.”

“If she lied about this she lied about it all and you wasted $10. She only talked about your love life, not mine...”

I remember her words, my second love was very close...could she have meant...

I glance at Harry and he seemed to have followed the same train of thought because we lock eyes, his probably just as wide as mine.

“D’you think?” he says just as I say “Was she...?”

We immediately burst out laughing as the tension comes to a head and bubbles over in a safe trickle.

“Is that what she was trying to say?” I say when I’ve finally caught my breath, my stomach hurt from laughing this hard.

“I guess when she said close she meant close,” Harry’s flat on his back from laughing. “Quite literal.”

“And you were calling her out on being so vague.”

“I’ve got to give it to her,” he shuts his phone off and throws it onto the covers between us, releasing the annoyance. “She’s a good businesswoman.”

“I was thinking the same thing but I thought you might kill me if I said that,” I admit.

We lay on the rumpled covers in silence, I think about everything else she said. The potential of it all is tarnished by the idea of Harry being my second love, for life. It was so ridiculous, unless by love she meant the way I love him now. As my best friend. Our lives were so different, there was no way it could ever work. Not to mention...he was my best friend since forever.

“Have you ever thought about it?” Harry asks out of the blue.

“Thought about what?” I prop myself on my elbow.

“Us, like...the way she predicted?”

“Together together?” I can’t help but laugh. “No never, you’re my best friend!” I recognize the flash of hurt so I backtrack a little. “No offense Harry, I love you but could you imagine?”

“I have,” he says it so quietly as I lay back down. “What?” I ask. He shrugs, “I’m surprised you haven’t. We’ve been friends since...we were 7. You’re saying you never thought about it?”

“No,” I shake my head. “Actually I haven’t. When...what did you think about?”

“I dunno,” he fiddles with his rings. “Like for school dances, when I didn’t have a date I thought about asking you as more than a friend...thought about where that could lead. Or every time you had your heart broke. I wanted to take the pain away and just show you what you deserved.”

“Harry I...” it was sweet, what he was saying. But he never gave a single clue about it the entire time we grew up. He was always chasing girls who looked nothing like me, so I always thought that’s what his type was. Never did I think about anything more with him.

“Not-not recently though,” he forces a laugh. “Just when we were kids.”

“That’s sweet Harry. I had no idea.”

He shrugs, and sits up.

“No seriously I...that’s so sweet. But just so you know, you have shown me what a good man can be. Just by being the best friend ever.”

“Aw,” he swipes my cheek as he gets up. “That’s cute. I don’t know if I’ve done such a good job when you’ve only dated knobs.”

I could recognize his defense mechanism--turning it into a big joke. But he leaves the room before I can call him out and I’m left sitting in the mess of what he’d just told me. It’s not that it was awkward or a bad thing, but suddenly it felt tense and the tension triggered an anxious feeling in my chest.

I decide to get out of my room and find my roommate cleaning up the remains of her broken mug. I offer to clean the spill as she dresses to go out for her run. Helping her distracts me, and when I hear Harry leave the bathroom I lock myself in, and try some breathing exercises to clear the anxiety creeping up. When I realize I was trying to avoid Harry, I scold myself. This was ridiculous and funny! Harry wanted to ask me out when we were kids, it was cute, and that was it. The psychic was a fake anyway, nothing she said meant anything.

I head back to my room where Harry’s made the bed. I change into trousers and my favourite fisherman sweater, and find him having coffee at our small kitchen table with his phone on speaker as he talks to someone. His legs barely fit underneath, so they’re sprawled to the side. He’s still shirtless, and my attention snags on his torso.

I shake myself out of my thoughts as I bump into the kitchen island, and glance up to see that although he was talking to the person on the phone, his eyes had been on me...while my eyes were on his abs. Oh god, I cringe. I try to act casual, mouthing if he wanted breakfast but he shakes his head and points to the call he’s having.

I make myself a toast and try to ignore what just happened but it only adds to the tension from this morning. When he gets off his call he brings his cup up to the sink.

“I think I need another cup.”

“Be my guest,” I move aside. “You sure you don’t want breakfast?”

“Are you going to feed me avocado flax seed quinoa toast?” he teases.

“There’s no quinoa.” I correct, crossing my arms. “But...yes.”

“I’ll take this banana,” he holds the lone banana on the counter. “I’ve got to be in East Harlem by noon, that’s what the call was about.”

“Aw,” I hated saying goodbye. “Are you busy the rest of your stay?”

“I can make it back here,” he says.

“Do whatever you need to do,” I say. “I’m used to being discarded after you hang out with me in the city.”

“I don’t do that!” he reaches behind me to slot his cup in and set the machine to grind his beans. I can smell my shampoo on him, he must’ve showered. “If you want me back, you can just say that.”

The morning sunlight streaming through the kitchen window leaves no room for shadows; the shift in the mood is clear as the daylight streaming in. Or maybe I was reading too much into his words.

“I always want you back,” I look up to his height now that he’s standing so close, and the kitchen tightens further.

We’re stuck in a tableau; with my back against the fridge looking up at him as he gazes down with a curious expression. My mind grows blank the longer I stare. No one says a word, the sound of beans grinding the only noise in the kitchen.

My best friend in the whole world looks torn standing in front of me like this, and as my senses slowly rush back I realize that even if my expression doesn’t show it...I was torn. Because out of nowhere, all I can think about are all the questions I ever shoved away in the dark: what would it feel like if I kissed him right now? And what would have happened to us if he had asked me out to our school dance? Would we still be best friends? Would we have cut each other out? How many universes were we still good together like this? How many universes were we good together as more than this?

An urge to touch his face, make sure this was real, takes over me. But as soon as my fingers brush his cheek he snaps out of his trance and stumbles back like I’d burned him.

He forces a laugh. “I really do need that coffee.”

“Right,” I turn to the machine to put the grinds into their slot but I yank too hard and the freshly ground coffee flies out towards me. “Shit!”

“What happ-” Harry takes one look at what’s happened and turns away, his shoulders shaking.

“I can see you right in front of me laughing!” I shout. “Help me!”

“It’s all over you Y/N,” he turns around, tears in his eyes. “Give me this, I’ll put it far away from you.” He takes the remaining grinds and sets it down. I brush away what’s closest to my eyes so I can see and try to shake it off my sweater but they stick to the fibers of the knit.

“Great,” I grumble. “This is dry clean only.”

“It’s in your hair,” he runs his fingers through the strands that hang over my shoulder. I shake my head to dislodge the grinds; his fingers brush my neck away and tucks my hair behind my ear. “Uhm, that should be most of it.”

“It’s not out of this sweater,” I pout. “Screw dry clean, why did I think I could buy dry cleaning clothes?”

“I can drop it off on the way out today?” he offers.

“That means you’re coming back to drop it off to me?!” I ask hopefully.

His expression softens, “Y/N I’m coming back to your flat. I promise.”

“He promises!” I shout. Even though things were a bit awkward this morning, I got to spend more time with my hard-to-catch best friend and for that I was over the moon.

“We could also try to vacuum the sweater?” Harry suggests.

“So you don’t have to come back with dry clean?” I tease. “I’m not letting you get out of your promise, let me give it to you before you change your mind.” I tug my top off and ball it up, shoving it in his hands. It falls to the floor when he doesn’t hold it.

“Hello?” I look up and he’s a deer in the headlights. “Harry...”

“I can’t do this right now,” he takes a step back. I get the sweater from the ground and hold it out to him again.

“Do you want to wipe the kitchen floor with the sweater too? Take it!” I sigh. “Harry are you really acting so chaste about seeing a girl in her bra?”

“It’s-” he decides to stop mid-word. “You’re not just any girl Y/N, I’ve already made it clear.”

Now it’s my turn to stare--he hadn’t made it clear. “You said you only felt something when you were younger...”

“And you believed me?”

I realize I didn’t, but I wanted to believe him so I hadn’t questioned it. “Well it’s not the first time you’ve seen me in a bra. Can you take the damn sweater?” 

“Yeah I can I’m just...” he seems to calm down a bit, enough to step towards me and take it. “I didn’t have to face this conflicted feeling in me if I didn’t see you often. I can just be the best friend. But now, with the whole psychic thing and you in--like this in your kitchen and I--I’m remembering how much I just want to...”

“Kiss me,” I say.

“Yeah...” he looks away.

“No, I’m telling you to kiss me.” I clarify. His expression would’ve made me laugh if my heart wasn’t beating so fast. I couldn’t believe I was being this impulsive.

“Really? You’re not just saying that cuz of this morning?”

“Fine,” I step out of his reach and cross my arms to hide my shaking hands. “If you don’t want to kiss me-”

He pulls me back too quickly and I bump into his chest. “I never said that.” He says in a tone I’d never heard from him before, it’s serious and sexy and it sends tingles through my body. I press myself up against him and he finally, finally, kisses me. Every bit of tension and anxiety the day had built up releases in the single moment his lips cover mine.

How had I waited this long?

The kiss is gentle, delicate like he’s still not entirely sure I want the same thing he does. I show him I do by using my tongue to open his mouth slowly and the hesitation disappears immediately. We’re a fighter jet taking off from there; I don’t know where I end and where he begins as he walks me to the kitchen island and lifts me onto it, our limbs tangling together, His hands roam down the side of my body, but he stays in the safe zones until I unclasp my bra.

“Oh hell no,” my roommate’s voice interrupts us from behind. I hold my bra close and turn. She stands at the entryway, shaking her head. “Not here. Not on our kitchen island. You two have a room literally 10 feet away...”

“Oops,” I say quietly which seems to set Harry off. My roommate is still shaking her head but I see the smile on her face. I’d caught her hooking up on multiple occasions so it wasn’t anything new. But I didn’t do this often. I jump down, apologizing to her. “Harry’s going to clean the coffee off the floor...I-I’ll find a shirt.”

“Mhm,” she closes her bedroom door and I look over at Harry who’s crouching on the floor in tears.

“This is all your fault!” I whisper but he tugs me down to where he is and holds my face as he kisses me.

“I know you two aren’t behind the island,” my roommate’s voice comes out again. I stay there as her footsteps move to the bathroom and the door closes behind her.

“I hate you,” I skirt out of his reach, and rush to my room yelling another sorry as I head back and find a top. Harry appears in my room as I put it on.

“I guess that was a good time for her to walk in on before it got too far?” he still has a stupid grin on his face.

“I don’t even want to think about it,” my cheeks were burning and even more so that Harry was elated.

“I’ve actually got to head out now.”

I pout but he kisses my pout instead. He promises he’ll be back in the evening and I let him go with one more kiss, my mind catching up with everything that just happened.

Oh my god.

***

It’s nearly 8 by the time I’m done running all my errands--taking holidays off for work was usually a good decision for me. I had a big family and picking up all the holiday bits before I flew back home was always a big job. I take an Uber home, I couldn’t handle a 40 minutes trip back home carrying everything home on the subway.

I call out to my roommate when I get in but she doesn’t respond. I check her door and it’s open and dark, the bathroom is also empty. She must have evening plans.

I open my door to a surprise. Harry is sprawled on my bed. He jerks awake when I settle my bags down.

“Y/N?” he squints as I turn the light on.

“How did you get in here?” I shrug my coat off.

“Y’roommate let me in before she left,” he rubs his eyes. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep...I had a whole thing planned.”

I’d gone over the whole morning during my errands, surprised and excited and nervous about this new step for us. But I continued to think about what the psychic said, our love lines extended alongside my life line. Even though there wasn’t much comfort or trust in a psychic who used a photo opp as a marketing opp, what she said had come true. And I put my faith in that, calming my nerves about this new step potentially ruining our friendship forever.

“Was that okay?” Harry sits up. “She didn’t think you’d mind.”

“Oh no that’s fine,” I unwrap my scarf and stand at the foot of my bed. “I really wasn’t sure if you were coming back.”

“Of course I would,” he reaches for my hand. “I wouldn’t leave you after this morning, I’m not that flighty.”

“Well we never really got to talk about it,” I say as I sit down. I’d texted him during the day but it never showed he read it, I wasn’t sure how to read into that; finding him passed out on my room meant he was probably on the go all day.

“Are you okay with this?” he says with such concern, I nearly tear up. This was making me way too emotional.

“I am,” I smile at my best friend in the whole world. “I just don’t want to go too fast.”

“We won’t,” he promises as he holds his arms out. I lean in towards his solid chest and he wraps his arms around me. I feel his breath on my cheek, then his lips in my hair. “I’m yours for eternity Y/N, we can take it as slow or fast as you want.”

It was a good thing to say, and I believe him entirely.

We eventually untangle ourselves to get food in us, and even though things are different, they’re also not. We still pick out the same parts of our food to give the other person, we still talk the same shit and laugh at the same jokes. But his hands grasps mine and his thumb brushes over my knuckles absentmindedly. His eyes stay steady on me as I talk like I’m someone new he’s exploring. We kiss after dinner, but we also load the dishwasher and laugh about the one time I’d managed to burn soup from a can. Eventually we end in my bedroom, where we lay together, our conversation growing quieter by the minute, the space between us growing smaller.

And even though we’d slept like this a hundred times before, it’s different now. I can feel it in every atom of my being, I was his and he was mine. And I don’t know how long it’s been like this for it to feel so easy, but accepting it was a no brainer, like accepting the sky was blue or the sun was hot. I remember the advice the psychic gave, I was following it: living the life I had around me even though it wasn’t the life I thought I would have.

There were a million things Harry and I had to figure out to make this work--I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. But I did know that it was right, it was true, and it was going to be forever.

The future may not be crystal clear, but my future with this man was.

[becomewings]

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TIMELINE GUIDE

Content warning: contains references to death, suicide, suicidal ideation, child abuse, domestic violence, blood, homicide, depression, trauma, PTSD

This guide contains major spoilers from all BU media

Revisions and additions will be made as necessary, so please visit the original post for the most up-to-date version (update log is included at bottom of post)

All names are provided as fully as known

Bracketed dates are inferred or calculated from references in the text

While the timeline is presented here as objectively as possible, I acknowledge that there is a level of subjectivity in choosing which information is significant enough for inclusion and in certain connections drawn between entries

Please inform me of any suspected errors; I will investigate and correct them

Do not repost, copy, or quote without permission

School Years: Together & Apart

    - March Year 19 through 10 April Year 22 -

2 March Year 19 Notes 1 (SJ)

Ten days after returning from the U.S., SeokJin and his father visit the principal’s office at his new school. SeokJin learns that he will start one grade lower due to the different education systems. SeokJin’s father grips his shoulder while the principal explains that school is a “dangerous place” that needs to be “tightly controlled.” He asks: “You know you have to keep me informed, right? You’ll be a good student, right?” SeokJin squeezes out a “yes” and his father lets go. Both ChangJun and the principal laugh. SeokJin looks down at their shining shoes, wondering from where the light is coming.

Note: SeokJin’s 25 June Year 19 entry in Notes 1 specifies that his father attended the same high school. JiMin’s 23 July Year 22 entry in Notes 2 reveals that, according to a comment he finds on an online news article, ChangJun and the principal were in school at the same time and fought with each other “as if it would only end when one of them dropped dead,” but they appeared to get along later due to politics.

3 March Year 19 BTS Universe Story: The Boy on the Threshold, ep.1

On the first day of school at Songju Jeil High School, the Dean of Students berates the six latecomers lined up outside: SeokJin, NamJoon, HoSeok, JiMin, TaeHyung, and JungKook. YoonGi arrives even later. The Dean assigns them one month of community service as punishment. When he notices SeokJin, he clears his throat and says he is letting them off because it’s the first day: they must all assemble after classes to clean the annex, a classroom turned into a storage room. This room becomes their meeting place and hideout even after their punishment is finished.

Note: Their punishment for being late is referenced in JiMin’s 12 March Year 19 entry in Notes 1, when he escapes to the old classroom again and finds the others already there. He observes that it feels as though they’ve been “hanging out together forever.” The punishment scene is also similar to a moment in the BTS Begins Middle Scene VCR. Although it includes a few extra students and cannot be confirmed as BU content, it does mirror the canonical detail of YoonGi arriving last.

28 May Year 19 Notes: Answer

In the classroom hideout, JungKook asks everyone what their dreams are because he has to write a paper about future hopes. SeokJin wants to become a good person, and YoonGi says it’s okay to have no dream. TaeHyung poses on a chair and says he’s going to be a superhero. HoSeok scolds him and adds that he wants to find his mom and live happily. JiMin asks him if he is unhappy now, and HoSeok pulls an exaggeratedly worried expression. “Is that how it works?” JiMin is flustered when HoSeok asks what his dream is and remembers that when he was in preschool he wanted to be president, but didn’t know what he wanted after that. Everyone looks at NamJoon, who shrugs and confesses that while he wants to say something nice, he doesn’t have a dream either and just wishes that his part-time job pays more. JungKook looks down at his assignment, divided into sections for “student” and “parent,” and wonders what he hopes to become. He can’t think of anything to write.

12 June Year 19 — The Sea Notes 1

YoonGi’s entry:

All seven boys cut school and decide to go to the sea. They have little money between them, so they must walk to the train station. As they leave, YoonGi almost bumps into JiMin and realizes that he is standing frozen with a trembling face. JiMin stares at a sign that reads “2.1km to Grass Flower Arboretum.” YoonGi flatly tells him that it’s too hot to go to the arboretum. He has an “instinctive feeling” that they should avoid it. He observes that JiMin walks away like a little kid, head bent and shoulders hunched.

JungKook’s entry:

The boys arrive at the beach. They hang around under a torn parasol until HoSeok holds up a discovery on his phone: a large rock that is supposed to grant your dream if you stand atop it and shout your dream out to the sea. TaeHyung encourages them to go. While they grumble in the heat on the long trek, JungKook reflects on how he had recently asked the others what their dreams were. (See 28 May Year 19.) None of them really have a dream to pursue.

YoonGi tells JungKook to stop biting his nails or else they’ll become like his. Then he asks JungKook what his dream is. Having never thought about it, JungKook doesn’t know. He hesitates and then asks what a dream is. HoSeok rattles off a few definitions from his phone. YoonGi questions, “How can something that you want to achieve most in your life and something that is unlikely to come true both be called a dream? … Don’t ever try to have a dream.” JungKook asks why. At his glance, YoonGi stops biting his nails and puts his hands in his pockets. “Because it’s tough having one.” JungKook is curious about why YoonGi bites his nails but doesn’t ask. He recalls that it has been a habit since his childhood to hurt himself. He remembers cutting his finger on a knife badly enough that his mom took him to the hospital, but she didn’t take care of him after they went home. His wound healed slowly because he kept pressing it; the pain helped him feel awake. Even now, he sometimes feels hollow.

TaeHyung asks how much longer they have to walk. HoSeok is puzzled, saying they should be close. They gaze around the empty, pebbled beach. JiMin sighs and reads aloud from an article on his phone. A resort will be built on this beach, and the construction company blew up the rock. They notice the cordoned off construction zone. They try to reassure each other to remain positive, but they all feel the disappointment of walking all that way for nothing. JungKook notices YoonGi biting his nails again and tries to stop him, but he is interrupted by a loud drilling noise. JungKook looks past him at the sea and all that remains of the dream-granting rock, the pebbles under their feet. “Is the world tough for you, too?” he asks, but YoonGi can’t hear him. JungKook screams again. “Do you want to give up on this world, too?” HoSeok and TaeHyung laugh at their mimed conversation. They all look out to the sea and shout their dreams. The drilling is so loud that they can’t hear each other. JungKook cannot even hear his own dream. When the noise stops, they cut off abruptly and laugh. SeokJin suggests that they take a photo. He sets the timer and runs to join their row, the sea behind them. They walk back to the train station. JungKook asks if he can keep the photo. SeokJin writes “June 12” on the back and gives it to him, telling him that his dream will come true. JungKook asks if SeokJin knows what he shouted to the sea, and SeokJin merely taps his shoulder and strides ahead.

BTS Universe Story : The Boy on the Threshold, ep.3

JungKook’s memory of the beach trip follows a similar structure to the scene in Notes 1, plus a notable addition. After they fail to find the dream-granting boulder, JungKook climbs up on the pier railing. He thinks: “I’ve always liked walking on the edge of walls or on top of lines. Focusing on centering my gravity means that I don’t really think of anything else, and the boundary—not quite a part of either place—always felt like where I should be.” Someone grabs his arm while he precariously balances. YoonGi tells him not to do that, and JungKook assures him that he won’t fall.

“YoonGi would often grab my arm when I walked on railings. The others would look after me, too, after seeing him do that. I liked their helping hands. It felt like they were telling me that I should go to them. That this wasn’t my place. Maybe their hands were why I walked on the railings.”

25 June Year 19 Notes 1 (SJ)

Alone in the classroom hideout, SeokJin finds a plant by the window. He takes pictures with his phone but doesn’t think they capture what the human eye sees. He notices that “HoSeok’s plant” is scribbled on the floor beneath the pot and then realizes that the window sills, walls, and ceiling are covered with graffiti and drawings, messages left behind by the students who once passed through that room. He wonders if there were past teachers who used violence and endless tests or students like him who ratted out their friends to the principal. Since his father also attended that high school, SeokJin looks for his name on the walls and finds it with a phrase written underneath: “Everything started from here.”

Note: TaeHyung, JiMin, NamJoon, and YoonGi discover several other familiar names near Kim ChangJun (SeokJin’s father) on the classroom wall in TaeHyung’s 23 July Year 22 entry from 7’s album Notes and the extended version in Notes 2.

30 August Year 19 Notes: Her

JiMin plays in HoSeok’s shadow while he is on the phone, reflecting on how HoSeok has accompanied him on the two-hour walk home since the beginning of the school semester. JiMin eventually realized that HoSeok didn’t live in the same direction but never questioned him, simply hoping that their time walking together would stretch the day out a little longer. HoSeok finishes on the phone and chases after him while the cicadas sing and their ice creams melt. Suddenly, JiMin is afraid, wondering how many of these days are left.

20 March Year 20 Notes 1 (TH)

TaeHyung sneaks up on NamJoon in the hallway by their classroom hideout. He stops when he hears SeokJin’s voice inside, apparently informing the principal about how TaeHyung and YoonGi had ditched school and got in a fight over the past few days. SeokJin throws open the door, phone in hand, and looks flustered to see NamJoon standing there. TaeHyung hides in a corner and is shocked to hear NamJoon assure him, “It’s OK. There must’ve been a good reason.” HoSeok and JiMin find TaeHyung in the hallway, and HoSeok pulls him into the classroom. NamJoon beams at TaeHyung as though nothing strange has happened. Believing that NamJoon “must have his reasons” because he is more intelligent and mature, TaeHyung decides not to tell anyone about the conversation he overheard.

15 May Year 20 Notes 1 (NJ)

NamJoon visits the classroom hideout on his last day of school. Two weeks prior, his family decided that they needed to move due to complications with his father’s health and their overdue rent. NamJoon tries to write a message on a piece of paper. He scribbles “I must survive” before the pencil lead snaps. He crumples the paper and writes in the dust on the window instead.

“No farewell message would be enough to let the others know how I felt. At the same time, no farewell message was needed to make myself understood. ‘See you again.’ It was a wish, rather than a promise.”

Note: “I must survive” is a recurring message tied to NamJoon in the BU MVs. See also 17 December Year 21.

7 June Year 20 Notes: Persona

TaeHyung’s two month old puppy Dubu slips out of the leash and disappears while he is distracted on his phone. TaeHyung runs around the neighborhood looking for him, first angry at the puppy and then blaming himself. When Dubu returns on his own, TaeHyung is filled with the unfamiliar feeling that he is someone who can be relied on.

11 June Year 20 BTS Universe Story: The Boy on the Threshold, ep.5 Everyone’s Place

In the classroom hideout, JungKook listens to YoonGi playing the piano. The sound of the music makes him feel as if YoonGi understands how he feels and is trying to console him. The Dean of Students forces the door open, demanding why they are there. He berates and slaps JungKook, knocking him to the floor. YoonGi steps between them and shoves the teacher’s shoulder. The dean warns him that he had better be prepared for the consequences of putting his hands on a teacher and then leaves. Despite his throbbing cheek, JungKook smiles because it is the first time someone has protected him, and the feeling of getting closer to YoonGi makes him giddy. For the next two weeks, YoonGi does not come to school.

25 June Year 20 Notes 1

JungKook’s entry:

JungKook tries to play the piano in the classroom hideout, unable to make it sound like YoonGi did. He reflects on the rumor that YoonGi was expelled after the events of 11 June and wonders if YoonGi would still be here playing the piano if JungKook had not been there that day when the teacher appeared.

YoonGi’s entry:

Breathing hard, YoonGi arrives at his bedroom, removes a half-burned piano key from an envelope in his desk drawer, and throws it into the trash can. He remembers a day four years ago when he returned to their burned down home and found a skeleton of the piano where his mother’s room used to stand. He noticed several piano keys on the ground and took one of them, wondering what note it was and how many times her fingers touched it. In the present, YoonGi thinks how unbearable living under his father’s rule is and recalls what happened that day: he is officially expelled from school. He picks up the piano key again and hurls it out the window.

“I couldn’t hear the piano key hit the ground. Now I’d never know what note it made. It’d never make a sound again. I’d never play the piano again.”

17 July Year 20 Notes 1 (SJ)

At the end of the last school day before summer vacation, SeokJin tries to leave quickly but is hailed by HoSeok and JiMin. No one knows that he was pressured by the principal and revealed their hideout, which led to JungKook and YoonGi being discovered (11 June) and the latter’s expulsion (25 June). HoSeok wishes SeokJin a good vacation and to keep in touch, but he can’t reply.

“My first day at this school crossed my mind as I passed through the school gate. We were all late and got punished. But we were together, so we could laugh together. I had ruined all those memories we shared.”

Note: Variations of the sentiment “we can laugh when we’re together” recur throughout BU.

15 September Year 20 Notes 1 (HS)

In the hospital emergency room, HoSeok wants to explain how JiMin had a seizure at the bus stop to his mother, Sim SeonMi. When the doctors wheel JiMin’s bed out, HoSeok begins to follow until SeonMi thanks him and touches his shoulder. He feels like she has drawn a line between them that he cannot cross. He falls to the floor, and when he looks up, JiMin’s bed is gone.

Note: The name of JiMin’s mother is specified in his BTS Universe Story arc, Stopped Time. JiMin’s 11 May Year 22 entry in Notes 1 reflects that he blacked out at the bus stop after seeing the window of the Grass Flower Arboretum shuttle bus open. His 12 August Year 22 entry in Notes 2 reveals the real cause of JiMin’s seizure at the bus stop: he sees the boy that he left behind at the arboretum warehouse on 6 April Year 11. Though the boy’s empty eyes no longer speak to JiMin, this chance encounter awakens his memories of that day.

28 September Year 20 Notes: Her and Smeraldo Books Twitter

JiMin, heavily medicated, has lost track of how long he has been back in the hospital. But he considers this a special day because he lies to the doctor for the first time about not remembering anything.

Note: He is lying about not remembering what triggered his seizure at the bus stop on 15 September and/or what happened at the Grass Flower Arboretum when he was a kid (see Notes 2 comments above). This lie is also referenced in his 11 May Year 22 entry in Notes 1.

30 September Year 20 Notes 1 (JK)

A teacher hits JungKook with an attendance book when he refuses to admit that he still visits the classroom hideout, reminding him of when YoonGi was beaten. Later, JungKook stands outside the room and imagines that the others are waiting for him on the other side. He opens the door to only find HoSeok, clearing out what remains of their belongings. HoSeok walks him out, and JungKook realizes that those days are gone and will never come again.

25 February Year 21 Notes: Her (HS)

HoSeok watches himself dance in the mirror. He has danced since he was around twelve and discovered an ecstasy that came from inside himself. Outside of the mirror, HoSeok is a person who collapses everywhere and takes medicine he doesn’t need, who smiles even when he hates it and isn’t happy. But when he dances, he truly becomes himself, casting away all that weighs him down and feeling that he can become happy.

2 May Year 21 Notes: Persona (JK)

Biking along the Yangjicheon riverbank, JungKook thinks about how his friends left him one by one and that no one at home or in the world smiles at him anymore. He stops in the shadows under a bridge. Nobody comes to this kind of ruined place, and maybe that is the reason no one comes to him either. He feels most comfortable alone in the complete darkness where no one will look for him and wants the moment to never end.

9 August Year 21 Notes: Persona (SJ)

SeokJin walks along a Los Angeles beach and photographs the ocean. It has been a year since he fled Songju and moved to his mother’s family’s home, where he grew up as a child. He doesn’t photograph people anymore and didn’t bring any photos from high school with him, afraid to remember who he was at that time or to wonder about how his friends are doing and whether they still think of him.

17 December Year 21 Notes 1 (NJ)

This lengthy entry details events that transpired since the autumn of Year 20 when NamJoon’s family moved to the village, framed by moments on 17 December itself as NamJoon leaves on his own. His family chooses this village because it has a nearby hospital for his ailing father and employers who will hire someone without a high school diploma. NamJoon serves as a delivery boy for an eatery, competing for work with the other local boys. They grow a strange sense of solidarity, and he privately dubs one of them “TaeHyung,” even though the boy’s discontent, outward behavior is more akin to YoonGi’s. (Quotation marks added to the name here for clarity.) Competition slackens when snow falls in winter. NamJoon and “TaeHyung” are the only ones poor enough to risk the road up to the mountain town’s rest area when orders are phoned to the village below. On an afternoon forecast to have heavy snowfall, the restaurant owner dismisses “TaeHyung” due to his bruised face and gives the deliveries to NamJoon. The old delivery scooter fishtails on NamJoon’s third trip down the mountain, throwing him off. More anxious about the scratched scooter than his cut ankle and aching body, NamJoon finally gets it to restart and returns to the eatery. “TaeHyung,” who has been hanging around this whole time, approaches and asks for a favor. Before he can answer, NamJoon receives a call from his mother relaying that his father went outside alone and fell, requiring a trip to the hospital. NamJoon understands that his father was only trying to keep his dignity but is still frustrated because he can’t earn any more much-needed money this day. He hands “TaeHyung” the keys and leaves to take his father to the hospital.

The next day, NamJoon learns that “TaeHyung” was in a fatal accident during one of the deliveries up the mountain. The police officer blames him for being a poor driver and not wearing a helmet. NamJoon does not speak up that he has never seen the helmet the owner now has placed out on the counter. He visits the scene of the accident, thinking that the white outline on the road could be his if he was the one to make the next delivery—just as it could be his family mourning in the village instead of “TaeHyung’s” mother. On a later trip carrying his father home from the bus stop, NamJoon pretends not to hear his father’s frail voice over the noise of barking dogs. A week after that, NamJoon is making steady deliveries up the mountain. During what is ultimately his last delivery, he speaks with a stranger at the rest area, who cautions him to take care. “Do you know what’s really dangerous? Calcium chloride and wet leaves, not the snow itself,” the stranger blurts as NamJoon departs. NamJoon drives carefully back, not looking at the scene of the accident. This is not out of safety, as he tries to convince himself, but guilt: guilt for surviving, for his relief of being the one alive, for not defending “TaeHyung’s” driving skills. He also wonders if he is “a hypocrite pretending to have a guilty conscience.” Because he scattered wet leaves and sprinkled calcium chloride to prevent the road from icing over where he fell that afternoon, believing that he would be making the next delivery. If he did not do both those things, would “TaeHyung” be alive?

Mind and body numb, NamJoon makes it home from the delivery detached from the world around him. The barking dogs snap him out of the daze, and he remembers his father’s words that he pretended not to hear and dwelled on daily despite trying not to think about them: “Go, NamJoon. You must survive.” The next morning (17 December), NamJoon sneaks away to the bus stop. He is running away from his family’s misfortunes, from his own resignation to his fate, from poverty. The bus is scheduled to arrive in Songju in a few hours—the city he left with no notice and is returning to once more with the same. NamJoon wonders if his old friends still live there and how they are doing. On the frosted window, he writes with his finger: “I must survive.”

Note: The village boy’s real name is JongHun according to NamJoon’s 12 June Year 22 entry in Notes 2, which also reveals that he visited JongHun’s home to give his condolences before he left town.

1 February Year 22 Notes: 7 (SJ)

Summoned by his father without explanation, SeokJin flies back to Korea from Los Angeles. Although he has addresses in both LA and Songju, neither place feels like his home.

———————————————————

Update Log

Posted May 5, 2021

Do not repost.

[defdaily]

BEAUTY+ Magazine May 2021 issue featuring JAY B: The Second Act

Translated by defdaily

Among the past, present, and future, which do you think about the most?

The present. I believe that the present is the most important. The future makes you worry constantly, and the past makes you regret constantly so I try not to think about them. Now, I try to make decisions I won’t regret.

Do you think about your current state and things you want to do?

I contemplate a lot about the state of my emotions or what to do in my current situation. Ever since I was young I thought it’d be good to live like the flowing water, tranquilly. You know how water changes its state based on its surroundings. I want to be someone in the free water-like flow.

Has your life until now been like free-flowing water?

My life itself may seem spectacular, but I think the flow of my life itself has been. There was a lot I was lacking in since debuting with GOT7 but I tried my best to show a colour suitable for GOT7. I changed myself according to the container I was in, and instead of being stagnant in one place, I think I flowed here well.

You seem to be careful with choosing an agency. What factors are you contemplating about?

I think about whether I will suit the company. It might be tiring for others to see because I’m so meticulous, and I may seem selfish but I think that I should be selfish right now. My future depends on it as well as the future of the company I will be going to. I think I will have to be selfish for both sides to produce good results.

The members showed their natural sides in the Encore music video. Looking back to 7 years of GOT7’s activities, what is the most memorable moment?

Since we’re performing artists, I remember a lot of moments on stage. 2-3 years ago in Thailand we performed our solo tracks for 7 days and then performed OUT all together as a group. I think a lot about how we were all so excited to perform. I think of those times we were together as seven.

What kind of team was GOT7? Judging as a leader?

The direction of GOT7 I thought of was a fun and free-spirited team. Since Look came out, I’ve been telling the company that we “shouldn’t try too hard to set the mood or look cool. Songs with a style like Look will be our strength.” I don’t think things turned out the way I thought they would. But as you can see from our last album’s song ‘Breath,’ it feels like we went in circles and came back to our original spot. There is some regret about how it would've been good to go more in that direction, then we could’ve shown a more solidified colour. But as a result, it’s a fact that we became a team capable of pulling off various colors.

Did you make those suggestions thinking about the members, because you thought it was what set you guys apart from other groups?

I talked a lot with my members. It seemed like they had the most fun with bright, fun, and chill performances. With performances like that, we think about harmony rather than how each of us can look cool. It leaves a greater impression on the fans when we are visibly having fun.

It seems like the public has also watched over the growth of JAY B. Starting as a bboy to a main vocalist, and writing many remarkable K-pop songs. You also played a huge role in establishing GOT7’s colour. What led you to grow and develop in that way?

I thought that if I felt like I wasn’t growing, then I should quit music.

Does liking it not serve as a reason?

Because it’s my job. Being able to do what you like as a job is something to be grateful for. But if my skills don’t meet the standards and if there is no growth despite my efforts, it’s only right to do it as a hobby. I didn’t think that there was no growth when listening to my music. I thought it could work if I tried a bit more.

What was a song you feel like you reached a new level?

‘Teenager’ and ‘PAGE.’ I think the team’s color was completed with those songs. It helped me realize that I had the potential to write such songs. At first, I was persistent with sticking to my musical color. Later, I changed my thoughts and decided I should write songs suitable for GOT7. It’s something I should obviously do as a member of the team. I think that’s where ‘Teenager’ and ‘PAGE’ lined up very well.

The album 7 for 7 containing ‘Teenager’ was a turning point for GOT7. Through that album, we got the feeling that you guys found your color and most importantly, the quality of the songs written by the members was great. What happened during that time?

I think that’s when our potential exploded (laughs). GOT7 had three turning points. The first was ‘Stop Stop It.’ We heard the song and thought “Wow, this is it.” But the outfits were a bit regretful. The music and the visuals didn’t really match. We wore overalls (laughs). The second turning point was when the Flight Log trilogy was released, and the third was ‘Teenager’ of 7 for 7. That song later led to ‘Look’ and we got to sing ‘PAGE’ and ‘THURSDAY.’ Then we suddenly tried to change our direction to ‘ECLIPSE’ and ‘You Calling My Name’ but eventually ended up back to ‘Breath.’

When you listen to ‘Look’ or ‘PAGE’, do you feel like GOT7’s musical colour reflects your own preference and style? And you’ve made many GOT7 songs with ØFFSHORE crew.

It’s hard to say it wasn’t reflected. But according to my standards, they are songs I wanted to write for the team. I talked a lot with the crew about what (kind of song) should GOT7 do and what would suit GOT7. ‘Look’ was a song that was released because the mood suited GOT7 well. After that it was ‘PAGE’ and ‘THURSDAY’. Our colour was included naturally.

The 8 members of ØFFSHORE are consistently releasing albums. How is that taking place?

We talk about what we feel and decide on a theme whenever we want to release an album. When we decide on a theme, each person would write songs relating to the theme, we select songs and release an album. The themes usually come up as we are talking casually about life. For example <Scene 1> contains the process of leaving on a trip until coming back. Rather than the lyrics, the moods of the songs are like that. When you start the trip you listen to fun songs then (we) get a little calmer as the trip comes to an end. I organised the order of the songs for <Scene 2>. When talking with friends, you usually start by talking about work then you talk about life, the future and then you end up talking about love and relationships. I organised it as that kind of story. There is no specific goal. We spend the revenue from albums on production for the next album. Because everyone in the group are people who make music, there are things that were settled music-wise through these promotions.

You must have been influenced by your friends a lot not only musically, right?

Yes, of course. Regarding life too. I listen to what my older brothers/friends and my parents have to say. I think about the stories of the people who experienced it first once again. One older friend said “We are not doing this for a huge goal, don’t get stressed and let’s just make music.” When I was pondering about how to do better, I heard that and it hit me. Should I say, those words painted my life with colour. I felt like working with energy and strength didn't suit me at the time.

Is it true that you have made 3 albums? Do you only work on songs every day?

Yes. I usually stay in the studio when I can't do my hobby. And since the people I meet are friends who do music too. I don’t know if I can release an album but I’m preparing and working on it.

What kind of albums are they?

In the past, I made powerful “performance-type” songs, but for this album the mood is calmer and the sound is minimal. There is an acoustic feel too. There is a soft tender album, a sad album and a melancholic album too.

Where did the desperation come from?

The desperation of life. I can’t talk about it in detail but there was a topic I really wanted to talk about when I made the album. It could become an album that people frown upon. But, for the music I do alone, I thought I should include honest stories that match my situation.

Did you write about the pain and difficulties you’ve felt all this time? On the surface, you seem to be a recognised leader of a successful idol group, but you must have faced difficulties.

Yes. It’s one part of my life too. Looking back, the difficulties were caused by my own tendencies rather than external factors.

Is it because of the perfectionism you push onto yourself? It seems like the uncertainty and fear contributed to creating your current self.

Yes, I’ve never thought of myself as a perfectionist but people around me often tell me so. They must have a reason for saying that so I ended up acknowledging it myself. I was really ambitious with GOT7 too so I felt a lot of disappointment and stress. I work hard because I know if I don’t, it’ll come back to me as regret. It’s okay to look back to times when I didn’t know well enough and think, “I should’ve done this, I was naive.” What I hate is doing just enough because of reasons like lack of stamina despite knowing what I need to do and knowing that I’m not yet satisfied.

Until now, you’ve made music with the name Def. and through the JUS2 comeback, you also let us hear dreamlike songs from a baritone. Escaping from the category of idol, you now need to create a new identity – is there a kind of music you would like to do fresh?

It’s hard to say it rashly now but, whatever I do, I want to do it properly and solidly. I do prefer a relaxed and easygoing mood, but when it comes to music genres, R&B, hip hop, urban and pop will definitely be the groundwork. However, I do hope that my image will not be fixed to one (genre). It’s no fun to keep doing the same kind of music. And I’m sure there are times when I’ll have to become a little wilder. It’d be great if (I had) a free image. I also hope it’s an image that I won’t be embarrassed of. After coming to a new company and releasing an album, if it doesn’t do well, I think it would be right for me to leave.

Aren’t you fearing failure too much? How would it be possible to achieve what you wish in one go?

Of course, I’m scared. I’m very afraid of failure. Naturally, it won’t be possible to succeed in one shot, but I do have the standard of my Maginot line*. That is what I am referring to. I am usually the type that thinks of the negative things first. It’s not good to be unprepared for the worst-case scenario.

*Maginot line – taken from the fortifications that created the French line of defence, now coming to mean “a defensive barrier or strategy that inspires a false sense of security”

You’ve said that GOT7 has not disbanded, however since all the members are under new companies, coming back together as GOT7 will not be an easy thing to achieve. What kind of method are you thinking of?

I’ve talked a lot with the members. It’s our goal to write one song each month for GOT7. If it’s 1 year, then that’s 12 songs. All our members write songs, so if each one of us does that, then we can accumulate a lot of songs. Everyone is in different companies which will have their own situations, so I can’t make promises for certain, but our goal is to release one album every year. It would be great for that to happen, and I personally think that it should happen. Because that is the minimum courtesy we should show to our fans. It would be even better if we could have a stage.

It would be a new concept.

We heard that the release of our song ‘Encore’ was in an unprecedented manner, and this made my sense of duty and responsibility bigger. Because the steps we take in the future could influence the direction that others may take in the future too. I thought it was the end, but it’s only just the beginning,

Amongst your many hobbies, is there anything you would like to recommend?

Camping. Activities such as setting up tents and cooking really make you think. Even just sitting down in a chair surrounded by nature is really great. Waking up to the sounds of birds singing is amazing; the sound of water running too. Recently, I bought a folding furnace and create my own little fire space. It could be seen as something embarrassing but while having the fire there, if negative thoughts come up, I write it down and then burn it in the fire. If you think that camping may be tiring, glamping would be good too.

Since the name of the magazine is Beauty+, I wanted to ask, is there something that you thought was beautiful recently?

People passed by me laughing and making some noise, and as I saw that, I thought that laughter was something really beautiful. I realised why smiling and laughing is a beautiful thing. It’s not just laughing or smiling, but the emotions that encompass that are really so beautiful. Everything natural is beautiful.

Translated by defdaily.

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Life in Quarantine (Part 1) | Owen Patrick Joyner

Summary: A series about being stuck in quarantine with your best friend Owen and trying not to lose your mind over being stuck inside all day every day. 

Pairing: Owen x reader

Warnings: Fluff, minor swearing, lots of singing

Songs used: Don’t Let Go by En Vouque/ Washington on Your Side from Hamilton/ More than Words by Little Mix / Not a Pop Song by Little Mix  -- All credits go to owners of these songs

A/N: I know nothing about songwriting and none of this will probably ever happened in real life, but it just worked for the story, alright? Alright. Enjoy! 

Words: 3,372

Part 1: Not A Pop Song

Norman, Oklahoma. My home town. The place where I was born and raised. The place where I learned how to live and love. Where I learned what heartbreak is. Where I met and lost friends. The town all my most valued memories reside. 

It’s also where I met my best friend, Owen. Our mothers were, and still are, college besties. So, us becoming friends was kind of inevitable. We went through everything together. Kindergarten, Elementary, Middle School and High School. Wherever you saw me, you saw Owen and vice versa. A lot of people often thought we were a couple, but that’s been off the table since day one. In Elementary School, Owen and I made a pact with five different rules to seal our friendship forever. The list only grew as we got older. But here’s the gist: 

1. If one is teased or bullied, the other takes revenge 2. Always sing and dance together whenever one asks, even if you don’t want to 3. Always share cookies 4. Always play together at recess 5. Always sit together at lunch

Then the additions from Middle and High School: 

6. We will never, ever, ever date each other or each other’s siblings 7. Ethan, Evan and Emmy are off limits too 8. Crushes too 9. Always go to Broadway shows together 10. Never lie even if you wanna do it for the right reasons. There is no right reason.  11. Always support each other’s dreams and successes 12. Always hate each other’s exes 13. Always share ice cream 14. Never share our secrets with other 15. Always go to parties together

That last one was added by Owen in senior year of High School when I didn’t want to go to a party since it was my exes party and we’re supposed to hate each other’s exes. But, since he’s been in LA for most of senior year to pursue his acting career, I really couldn’t say no. Him going off to Los Angeles for months, sometimes even longer, started in eighth grade when he landed the role of Crispo Powers in a Nickelodeon show called ‘100 things to do before High School’, which I religiously watched, of course.  Rule 9 tells you to. After High School, the two of us split ways. I headed off to Boston to study at Berklee College of Music to major in songwriting as it’s always been a dream of mine to become a songwriter, while Owen went to LA to further pursue his career in acting. We’ve tried to keep in contact, but daily calls turned into weekly calls turned into monthly calls. Five months in, we just try to at least check in with each other every now and then, which is what works best for our busy schedule. Then December 2018 came and changed my life entirely for the better. The representative of Syco and Columbia records said he was in need of fresh blood to co-write songs with none other than Little Mix on their next album.  They held a competition at Berklee College, and long story short, I won! Yay me. To say I was nervous to write with a girl group I’ve been a fan of since the very beginning is an understatement. But they were so nice to work with. We’d take turns flying to each other’s countries and wrote about five songs together of which only two made it onto the actual album. None of it made much sense to me at the time, it all just seemed like one big dream. Owen was pretty excited about it too. He knew how big a fan I was of the girls. Even though he wasn’t a big fan himself, he still listened to the album, mostly to listen to the songs I’d written. Over FaceTime, we even played a game called ‘Guess what song I’ve written’, and he’d gotten one right. The girls even gave you a full-time job as co-writer on more projects of theirs and even recommended you to other artists. This meant you had to quit college and become a full-time freelance songwriter. Thanks to Little Mix, though, you’ve gotten the nicest people to hire you. Since then, you’ve worked with artists like Meghan Trainor, Bea Miller, Isabella Merced -- who you could gossip with about Owen from her time working with him -- and even Harry Styles. The fifteen-year-old inside you didn’t know what to do with herself when that collaboration happened. But working with all those people also meant I had to move again. This time to Los Angeles. When I told Owen the good news, he immediately suggested you move in with him. It’s the thing you guys said you would do once you got older; get an apartment together. So, it was the only logical move. “Welcome to your new casa!” He said dramatically when leading me into the apartment. The tall white walls and large windows illuminated the entire place with a welcoming feeling. “Let me show you to your room, so you can drop off your excessive luggage and then I’ll give you the tour of the entire space.” I raise an eyebrow at his words. “Bro, I have excessive luggage because I just moved from Boston to freaking LA!” I exclaim, followed by an amused chuckle as I try to push him, but fail since he’s much stronger. From that moment on, I knew moving in with Owen would be the best and worst idea I ever had. 

And speaking of ‘worsts’. From March 2020, the two of us were stuck at home together due to the outbreak of the coronavirus. Just when I was supposed to start working with Little Mix on their new album. I would’ve been in London now, but instead, I’m stuck in LA with my best friend who doesn’t have a job at the moment since he’d just finished filming a new Netflix show called Julie and The Phantoms. What I heard from it this far, it sounds pretty amazing. I even went to Vancouver with Owen for a few weeks. It was a fun trip and gave me some new inspiration for some songs. “Hey, Nugget,” Owen says as he walks into the room we call our studio where I’m working. “I’m kinda in the middle of something, Ace. Can it wait?” I know I shouldn’t work out my frustration on my best friend, but it kind of fell out of my mouth before I could stop myself. “Sorry, Nugget, I’m kinda bored…” I sigh exasperatedly and bob my head to signal his permission to come in. “What are you working on?” he asks as he sits down on the armrest of the armchair I’m sitting on. “This Little Mix song I can’t seem to make work,” I reply and point to the notebook in front of me. “I’ve got a few good lyrics, but the melody seems impossible.” Owen takes the notebook from me and closes it before getting up. “Time for a little break,” he says and goes to sit behind his drum kit. “Guess what song I’m playing,” he then says and starts with the cymbals, then hi-hats and when a beat finally floats through the room, my brain starts to work. This is a game we’ve been playing every time I’m in need of a break or just for fun. We’d take turns in playing a part of a song on our respective instruments and the other has to guess which song it is by singing along. “What’s it gonna be? Cuz I can’t pretend Don’t you wanna be More than friends Hold me tight and don’t let go Don’t let go Have the right to lose control Don’t let go” A smile appears on Owen’s as I get the first song right. He always underestimates my love for girl bands from the 80’s and 90’s. Though, I think he might’ve given me this one because I’m so frustrated from working on that song. “Your turn,” he then says after having hit a couple more toms and cymbals. I think about it for a moment, and then start plucking the sixth string to create a more bassy sound. Owen stares at the guitar for a moment trying to figure out what song I’m playing. Then, his eyes widen as he recognizes the sound. “It must be nice, it must be nice To have Washington on your side It must be nice, it must be nice To have Washington on your side” I let out a loud whoop in excitement, choking the strings to stop the sound. “I still can’t do that rap though!” he actually sounds disappointed in himself. “Washington isn’t gon’ listen to disciplined dissidents This is the difference This kid is out!” I proudly yell out, earning impressed applause from my best friend. The smile on his face warms me up inside. Owen has always had the most beautiful smile, in my opinion. He has one of those smiles that could just instantly make you happy. No matter how bad a day you had. “Very impressive, Nugget,” he replies with a smirk that sends shivers down my spine. Ever since I moved in, he’s gotten more and more flirty with me. I’m not sure if it’s just a change in his personality that he’s acquired in Los Angeles or if it’s something else, but it’s there. Not that I mind. Something has shifted in me too since we moved in together. It’s even gotten me thinking about removing rule number 6 from our pact. “Your turn, Ace,” I quickly change the subject, just so I don’t have to think about him like that too much. Our dynamic as best friends is too good to ruin it all. Twenty years of that is a long time to just throw away like that. “Alright, an easy one,” he says and simply starts stomping the bass pedal to activate his bass drum.  It’s a slow, almost menacing thump that sounds very familiar. A little too familiar. “Oh, I need you more than words can say Oh, You saved me in ways I can’t explain Always been there for me, now I’ll do the same Oh, I need you more than words can say” It’s one of the two songs on Little Mix’s last album that I helped write. The song that means most to me since I wrote it with Owen in mind. It was a period of time where all I wanted was to see Owen and be able to talk to him and just spend time with him like we used to before his whole acting adventure. I think he’ll stop after the chorus, but instead, he picks up his drum sticks and starts playing the rest of the song on his drum kit. Deciding it could be a fun jam session, I start playing the chords on my guitar as well whilst continuing with the lyrics. “Won't forget, won't forget Won't forget when he broke my heart How you helped me through You turned, you turned, you turned a disaster into a dream Gave me the power, made my life brand new When the world try to break us, we found magic And we grew stronger, though every line, line, line Every night, every night, every night I strain and sing the truth Now, now they know that they gonna be alright, alright” The memories of when I wrote this song start slipping through my mind. I remember how alone I felt, even in a room with a dozen other people. I remember how much I missed Owen. “I find peace in every story you told I think of you, I'll never be alone It's true, true, true You know I do, do, do” My eyes lock with Owen for a moment. He shoots me a comforting smile that makes me feel right at home. And I don’t mean here. I mean home as in Norman, Oklahoma. “Oh, I need you more than words can say Oh, you save me in ways that I can't explain Always been there for me, now I'll do the same Oh, I need you more than words can say Oh, I need you more than words can say” We both stop playing and just look at each other for a while. I’ve never told Owen I wrote this song for him, but at the same time, I think he might already know. That doesn’t take away the urge to tell him though. “I wrote that about you when I missed you,” I blurt out without properly thinking about it. “Really?” he asks while coming out from behind his kit. Combing his long, blonde hair back, he makes his way over to me and grabs the guitar from my lap. “Yeah, I thought you’d know?” He chuckles, shaking his head whilst tickling the strings. I’d taught him a couple of songs on the guitar since we started living together. “You write with a lot of people, Nugget. Could’ve just been their words as well....” He isn’t wrong about that. Maybe it was a lot less obvious than I thought it was. “So, what are the guidelines for this one?” he questions. I grab my notebook again and open it on the page I was working on before he fluttered into the studio. “They didn’t want another pop song. Kind of more like a ‘fuck you’ to Simon Cowell for treating them so badly and telling them what to do and what to wear and whatnot,” I explain, showing the few lines I have already. Some of them Jade had sent me, others were Perrie’s, a couple were mine. “What are most pop songs about?” Owen queries. I know he’s trying to help me, but he’s kind of making me nervous with the constant strumming of the guitar. “Songs about falling in love, or drinks and drugs…” I sum up at the top of my mind, “Or heartbreak…” Owen nods his head whilst continuing to play the same few chords over and over again. I focus on the melody for a moment as my creative juices start to work again. “This ain’t another pop song ‘bout falling in love Or a party song ‘bout drinks and drugs No more singing songs ‘bout breaking my heart And my lonely nights dancin’ in the dark” I look up at Owen for validation. Nodding his head encouragingly, he keeps playing the same few chords but a little louder this time to support the flow of my lyrics. “If I’m a guilty pleasure I want this life forever I’ll take it all ‘cause anything is better Than another pop song ‘bout falling in love But if you wanna sing along say ‘I don’t give a fuck!’” Owen starts jumping around excitedly, and I can’t help but laugh at his adorableness. He used to get this excited whenever I sent him a demo of the songs I was working on. “Let’s record a demo!” he exclaims and, after handing me my guitar back, moves towards the recording equipment. “Let’s start with some guitar,” he says and that’s how our recording starts. First, the guitar, then Owen records some drums, and then I get behind the mic to sing the song all by myself. I can just imagine how amazing this’ll sound with the girls’ voices instead of mine. “No broken bottles Or glitter on the floor form the night before Ain’t no boy troubles If that’s what you came here for then you should know” I lapse back into the chorus one last time before we finish recording and put everything together. We listen to it a couple more times before sending it over to Little Mix and their management. Awaiting their answer, we head into the kitchen to make some dinner together. It only takes about half an hour before I get a call from Jade. “This song is epic!” she shouts into my ear before I can even say hello. “Exactly what we needed, Y/N, thank you so much!” I’ve grown accustomed to her thick Geordie accent, though it was hard to understand in the beginning. “Thanks, Jade! Owen helped me out a little,” I reply, looking up at Owen himself who shoots me a wink that sends a rush of heat from my head all the way to my toes. The girls all know about Owen. I’d told them about my best friend and how supportive he was, and they always teased me saying I was so in love with this guy. Which I didn’t realize at the time and always denied. Rule 6 clearly states no dating each other. “Give him a big snog as a thanks then!” Jade jokes, and I can even hear the others in the background. “I’m on Zoom with the girls at the moment. They say hi!” “Hi back!” I can’t stop the giggle from escaping from my lips. “I gotta go, Jade. Thanks for getting back to me about the song. I can’t wait to hear you guys singing it!” Jade snickers on the other side of the line. All while I’m watching Owen make some pasta at the stove. There’s something so attractive about him in the kitchen, I’m not sure what it is. Fuck, Jade is right. I am very much in love with my best friend and there’s nothing I’m going to be able to do about it. Stupid pact we made in the first grade. “We’ll call you later to discuss some more arrangements and stuff. Bye, Y/N!” “Bye, Jade! Bye girls!” I say loudly, knowing I’m probably on speaker phone anyway. “Bye, Y/N!” the girls chorus. I hang up the phone and look at Owen for a few seconds before bursting out into an excited cheer, dancing my way towards him. “They loved it! They loved it! They loved it!” I shout loudly, and cup Owen’s face in my hands before pressing my lips to his in an outburst of elation. I’m surprising yourself at first, but then melt into the familiarity of his embrace as his arms snake around my waist whilst kissing me back. He’s actually kissing me back. “And that’s rule number 6 out the door…” Owen mumbles when he pulls away. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have,” I mumble and step away from him, or at least try to. His arms tighten around my waist, restricting me from taking another step. “I’ve been thinking about talking to you about that stupid rule, Nugget. I’ve hated it ever since we were 16.” My eyes widen at his confession. Since we were sixteen? SIXTEEN? That’s four years ago. That’s even long before I realized I felt more for him than just a platonic love. “16? Why didn’t you say anything?!” Owen chuckles, retracting his arms from around my waist and instead tucking a strand of hair behind my ear before placing his hand on my cheek. “You were pretty enamoured with Ryan, remember?” My heart breaks at the mention of the prick’s name. Ryan was my very first heartbreak and the worst at that. Owen was in LA at the time, but when he heard the news, he almost immediately flew back to Norman Oklahoma to comfort me and eat ice cream together. “Besides, I was constantly on the move from LA to Norman, it wouldn’t have been fair to you…” “You’re the sweetest human being alive, Owen Patrick Joyner,” I tell him with a smile tugging at my lips, but then turn serious again as I flick his forehead. He lets out an ‘ow’ and shoots me a confused glare. “And the stupidest! I’ve been in love with you since I don’t know when, but I never realized until now! The girls from Little Mix even knew but I was too oblivious or stubborn to see it myself. If you’d told me, I probably would’ve realized sooner!” “Well… I told you now?” he tries, the cheesiest smile on his face that makes me roll my eyes. “I love you, Ace,” I whisper, “And not the platonic kind this time.” “I love you too, Nugget.” He leans down again after that, reconnecting our lips into a passionate kiss. The first of many. This ought to be a very interesting quarantine together.

Taglist: @hannahhistorian92 @marinettepotterandplagg @thequirkybookaholic @bookdealer5 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @hemmingsness @iainttakingshitfromnobody @ifilwtmfc @angryknightstatesmantrash @kiss-themoongoodbye @rudysbay @thedarkqueenofavalon​ @caitsymichelle13​ @calamitykaty @wiselight @kcd15​

Lemme know if you wanna be on my taglist! 

[pradaksj]

thank u, next . | series masterlist

© pradaksj. All rights reserved. Do not repost, modify, translate or copy.

↳ consider buying me a kofi :) 

✍︎ on-going | ✓ completed

♛ Series Summary 

12 stories all based on a song from Ariana Grande’s self-proclaimed album “thank u, next”. Stories will be based off either certain lyrics or overall song idea(s), and will have a variety of different AU’s. Lastly, some of these stories will have happy endings and others will not, I make no promises ;). 

➵ Rating: mature  

➵ Status: ongoing

➵ Genre(s): angst, smut, fluff, etc. 

 ♛ IMAGINE (m.) | seokjin/reader 

        ↳ read here 

genre: boyfriend!seokjin , fluff, smut. 

word count: tbd.

━ ❝ Stayin' up all night, order me pad thai then we gon' sleep 'til noon. Me with no makeup, you in the bathtub, bubbles and bubbly, ooh. ❞

♛ Needy (m.) | yoongi/reader

       ↳ read here

genre: businessman!yoongi, fluff, smut, angst

word count: tbd. 

warnings: alcohol consumption, slightly toxic behavior from y/n, etc. 

━ ❝ I'ma scream and shout for what I love. Passionate but I don't give no fucks, I admit that I'm a lil' messed up, but I can hide it when I'm all dressed up. I'm obsessive and I love too hard, good at overthinking with my heart. How you even think it got this far? ❞

♛ NASA (m.) | hoseok/reader

       ↳ read here

genre: flashback au, post break up au, smut, angst 

word count: tbd. 

warnings: alcohol consumption, swearing, etc.

━ ❝ I can't really miss you if I'm with you, and when I miss you, it'll change the way I kiss you. Baby, you know time apart is beneficial, it’s like I'm the universe and you'll be N-A-S-A. ❞

♛ Bloodline (m.) | namjoon/reader

       ↳ read here

genre: lifeguard!namjoon, swim instructor!reader, angst, smut. 

word count: tbd. 

warnings: lots and lots of sex. 

━ ❝ Even though you're bad for me, I know. You're the one that I'm thinkin’, got me feelin' so incredible, would you mind maybe linkin'?... No, we won't be talking the next day, I ain't got nothin' to say. I ain't lookin' for my one true love. Yeah, that ship sailed away. ❞

♛ Fake Smile (m.) | jimin/reader

       ↳ read here

genre: divorce!au, pressured marriage (not exactly arranged), angst, smut, events leading to divorce. 

word count: tbd.

warnings: swearing, alcohol use, etc.

 ━ ❝ I can't fake another smile, I can't fake like I'm alright. ❞

♛ Bad Idea (m.) | jungkook/reader

       ↳ read here

genre: friends w benefits au, friends to lovers au, lovers to enemies au, angst, smut. 

word count: tbd

warnings: tbd. 

━ ❝ I got a bad idea, yeah, I'ma call you over here to numb the pain. I got a bad idea. ... Even though we shouldn't, baby boy, we will. Need somebody, gimme something I can feel, but boy, don't trip you know this isn't real. You should know I'm temporary. ❞

♛ Make Up (m.) | taehyung/reader

       ↳ read here

genre: college!au , angst, smut. 

word count: tbd. 

warnings: toxic relationship! (in no way do I mean to glamorize or support toxic relationships) , drinking, swearing, etc. 

━ ❝ I like to fuck with you just to make up with you, cause the way you be screamin’ my name, make me wanna make love to you. I might break up with you just to make up with you. At the end of the day, boy you know that I'm 'bout to wake up with you. ❞

♛ ghostin (m.) | seokjin/reader

       ↳ read here ✓

genre: angst (like 80% is angst) , neighbor!au , bit of fluff , friends to lovers.

word count: 38,000+ 

warnings: major character death! sad ending!

━ ❝Though I wish he were here instead. Don't want that living in your head, he just comes to visit me when I'm dreaming every now and then. ❞

♛ In my Head (m.) | yoongi/reader

       ↳ read here

genre: college au, fuckboy!yoongi ,naive!reader, angst, smut

word count: tbd. 

warnings: alcohol consumption, sexting, etc. 

━ ❝ You're in love with a version of a person that you've created in your head, that you are trying to but cannot fix. The only thing you can fix is yourself...Painted a picture, I thought I knew you well. I got a habit of seeing what isn't there. Caught in the moment, tangled up in your sheets, when you broke my heart I said you only wanted half of me. My imagination's too creative, they see demon ... I see angel. Without a halo, wingless angel.❞

♛ 7 Rings (m.) | taehyung/reader

       ↳ read here ✍︎

genre: richboy!taehyung, scammer!reader, infiltration au, smut, angst. 

word count: tbd. 

warnings: illegal activities such as scamming, faking official documentation, etc. 

━ ❝ Whoever said money can't solve your problems, must not have had enough money to solve 'em.❞

♛ thank u, next (m.) | jimin/reader

       ↳ read here

genre: backpacker!jimin, backpacker!reader, some fluff, angst, smut.

word count: tbd .

warnings: voyeurism, car sex, illegally trespassing, usage of weed, etc. 

━ ❝ Say I've loved and I've lost, but that's not what I see. So, look what I got, look what you taught me. And for that, I say ... Thank you, next! I'm so fuckin' grateful for my ex. ❞

♛ Break up with your Girlfriend, im bored (m.) | jungkook/reader

      ↳ teaser

      ↳ read here ✓

genre: 1920′s au, burlesque/clubsinger!reader, infidelity au , angst, smut. 

word count: 17,000+ 

warnings: infidelity, swearing smut, etc. 

━ ❝ You got me some type of way, ain't used to feelin' this way. I do not know what to say, but I know I shouldn't think about it. Took one fuckin' look at your face, now I wanna know how you taste... You can say I'm hatin' if you want to, but I only hate on her 'cause I want you. ❞

[alpacaparkaseok]

7 Secrets <pt. 11>

GENRE: Soulmate!au BTS!

WARNINGS: whole lot of uwu that’s what

WORD COUNT: 4.8k

I just...no words. I’ve been wanting to get to this point for a hot minute now, so I’m glad we’ve made it. No, this isn’t quite the end. Although we’re getting there. *cue tears* Have a happy halloween this weekend! <3

By the time we make it back to the house it’s nearly evening, seeing as Jin decided to take a detour and get lost. Kyung-soon didn’t mind, she took the opportunity to re-listen to Seventeen’s new album. And then listen to it again.

We’re nearly there when we get a call from Taehyung. Jin puts it on the car speakerphone.

“Hyung! Where are you?”

“We’ve been lost, that’s where-” Jin cuts Kyung-soon off with glare.

“We were hiking and enjoying the island. We’ll be there in ten minutes. Are you guys getting ready to eat?”

As if on cue my stomach growls. Our last meal was this morning, and the granola bars have only held up for so long.

“Yeah, we’re finishing up with the food now. Guess what we’re doing tonight, though?”

A few voices can be heard in the background. It sounds like utter chaos at the house. The sound of it brings a smile to my face.

“What? What are we doing?”

“Production team just finished editing the final episode! We’re going to project it on the side of the house and watch it!”

I nearly choke, Kyung-soon turning around and staring at me in horror. Namjoon chuckles, patting me on the back while I recover.

“That was...fast.” I mumble. The production crew must have been working overtime in order to finish up the final episode so we could watch it on our trip.

Kyung-soon is in the middle of involuntarily cringing. “Oh no, this is going to be horrible. So cringey.”

I nod in agreement, Jin reaching over to grab Kyung-soon’s hand. The houses pop up in the distance - we’re almost there.

“Just pretend that it’s somebody else,” Jin tries to reassure his soulmate. “I promise, it’s really not bad. We were thoroughly entertained.” He grins at Namjoon through the rear-view mirror.

“Yeah, and besides, you guys have seen plenty of weird content from us. Consider this an even playing field.” Namjoon adds.

“Ok, I’ll see you - huh? Oh, Ichika says hi. Alright, see you in a second.” Taehyung cuts the call.

↔

The side of the boys’ house has turned into a temporary movie screen. Taehyung is in the process of popping popcorn while Jungkook and Jimin are giving a detailed overview of three years worth of episodes.

I think they’ve forgotten that we were very much a part of those three years. After all, it is a documentary about us.

Aera sits beside Minsuh, the two of them grinning like cheshire cats at their soulmates. They look like they’re thinking the same thing that I am.

“Yah, so where did the last episode leave off?” Aera questions, raising her eyebrows at Jimin.

“What, you don’t remember what happened two weeks ago?” Himari asks, chuckling.

Aera shrugs her shoulders. “It’s been a busy week for all of us, I can hardly remember what happened two days ago.”

Namjoon emerges from the house, a couple of blankets in hand. His eyes scan the small crowd before landing on me where I stand beside Seohyun. I’ve been trying to get a feel for how her and Yoongi’s conversation went earlier, but I don’t dare ask anything too direct with Yoongi right there. He holds her hand, looking content as she explains how she tried and failed at painting.

“Where did the last episode leave off, Joon-ah?” Hoseok asks when Jimin and Jungkook have a hard time remembering the finer details. Namjoon is in the process of spreading a blanket out on the ground, motioning for me to come over.

“Umm…” He chews on the inside of his cheek for a moment before snapping his fingers. “Aera had just pitched her new designs, and everybody made dinner for her when she got home. Then they were just getting Beth’s room ready for her to come back.”

Aera blinks as though just remembering that she has an actual job. A job she’s really, really good at.

“I can’t believe you forgot about that!” Aera feigns offense and Jimin freezes in his spot, eyes wide. “That’s my whole career we’re talking about, Jimin!”

Jungkook gives his friend a pat on the shoulder before walking over to plop into the seat beside Minsuh.

“I-I remember it now…” Jimin pouts, looking at his soulmate with puppy eyes. Aera glares at him, never one to give in easily. In fact, Aera is the fiercest when it comes to these kinds of things.

If I remember correctly, I’ve heard the boys state on several occasions that Jimin is absolutely terrifying when he’s mad.

“Hey,” Namjoon grabs my attention from the show up front. “Wanna sit? I got us an extra blanket for if we get cold.”

“Perfect.” I settle down on the blanket, laughing as Jimin tries his best to escape Aera’s wrath. She’s currently moving his chair to the opposite end, as far away from her as possible.

Minsuh turns around to look at me, her eyebrows wiggling mischievously. “Are you ready for this cringefest?”

Namjoon chuckles, settling down beside me. The butterflies in my stomach kick things up into high gear just from sitting beside him. He checks the time on his phone, his new background pulling my attention away for a moment.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I sigh. Namjoon places a comforting hand on my knee, smiling at me when he realizes that I’m looking at his lock screen.

“It really is that bad usually. I swear.” I roll my eyes, knowing a lie when I hear one. “Hey,” he nudges me. “Let’s see your new phone background.”

I excitedly fish my phone out of my pocket, already chuckling at the thought of our candid photo. Showing it to Namjoon, Minsuh and Jungkook wander over to see what we’re laughing about.

“Oh my gosh, that’s so cute!” Minsuh gushes, laughing at me. “I’m guessing you learned today that Beth is terrified of heights?”

Namjoon nods, shooting me a pitiful look. “I sure did. I’m pretty sure she bruised one of my ribs in the process.”

Jungkook proceeds to ask Namjoon about the hike, sounding like he wants to venture out there tomorrow. Jin and Kyung-soon come back out with Tae and Ichika, all of them carrying a couple of bowls each filled to the brim with popcorn.

“Movie time!” Jimin shouts from where he and Aera disappeared around the house. A moment later he appears with his chair in one hand and lugging a disgruntled Aera along with the other.

As soon as all the popcorn is distributed Yoongi flips on the projector from the back. A moment later the song “Psycho” by RedVelvet blasts through the speakers, and the episode begins.

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe they actually made that the theme song!” Seohyun shouts, already laughing as she and Minsuh appear on screen. Little title cards appear above their heads from where they study in the library, lost in their textbooks. I grin, all of this appearing a little surreal.

“I can’t believe we actually have a theme song!” Himari says. She’s the next one in the opening credits, trying and failing to flip a pancake. “Oh, come on, that’s how they introduce me?” Hoseok laughs beside her, his eyes darting from the screen back to his soulmate.

Next is Ichika, and I notice Taehyung scooting a little closer to her and she hides behind her hands. She’s opening the door to the apartment, her lopsided smile greeting the cameraman as she invites the cameras inside.

“This is the best part!” Jimin shouts.

The cameras follow Ichika inside the apartment and catch their next victim for the opening credits: Aera.

She’s clearly in a rush, probably running late for work. Careening down the stairs she freezes once she sees the camera, quickly pushing her hair out of her face as she waves before rushing out the door.

“See, told you it was the best part,” Jimin mumbles, Aera dissolving into a fit of giggles beside him.

Namjoon scoots closer, adjusting so that his right shoulder is just behind me. “Ready for the next part?” I can hear the smile in his voice.

Kyung-soon and I appear on screen, and I can hear my friend groaning from where she sits with Jin. We share a look across the way.

We’re sitting on the couch in the living room, locked in an intense game of rock, paper, scissors. Kyung-soon wins, and she throws her hands up in triumph right as our title cards appear. I get up wordlessly, walking straight out the door.

Despite how strange it is to be watching the documentary after all this time, I find myself shaking with laughter. Maybe we are kind of entertaining to watch, after all.

“Do you remember what we were playing for?” Kyung-soon asks me.

“I think it was over who had to call the takeout place.”

She laughs, returning her attention to the screen. I find myself avidly watching as well.

Episode basically from here until just before the end, enjoy! (actions/dialogue in real time will appear in as normal text, whereas the documentary is in italics)

Himari and Aera sit in the kitchen, both of them staring down at their breakfast. Himari glances up at Aera, noticing her worried expression.

“I’m sure they’ll call you soon. Anybody who turns you down is a complete idiot.”

Aera nods, not saying anything. Jimin reaches out to hold Aera’s hand. Minsuh comes in from down the hall, stretching.

“Morning,” she says around a yawn. “Any news A?”

Himari answers for her friend. “Not yet. What do you have going on today?”

Minsuh reaches for a bowl, waving at the kitchen camera like she does every morning. “Nothing much. I think Seohyun and I are going to study for a while, she’s going to help me prep for an exam I’ve got coming up. What about you guys?”

“Ichika and I have lessons. Want to join us, Aera? Brush up on your Japanese?”

“No,” Aera shakes her head. “I’m going to start getting Beth’s room ready.”

“Oh!” Himari grabs her phone from her back pocket. “That reminds me, I have to call that little punk.”

I gasp at Himari, my friend giving me a shy smile and shrugging.

Himari places the phone on speaker while the other two girls quietly eat their food and wait for me to answer.

“Was this the day before I flew out?” I ask no one in particular.

“Yeah, I think so.” Himari responds. Suddenly my voice cuts through the audio, and I physically cringe. Namjoon chuckles, reaching a hand up to steady me as I rock back against his chest.

“I knew you were going to call me,” I say, and Himari rolls her eyes while Minsuh snickers. “What’s up?”

“Are you all packed and ready to go?” Himari asks.

“Yeah, I think so. My flight leaves in...six hours. I’ll start heading to the airport in a couple of hours so I get there on time.”

“Hey, when’s the last time you logged anything?”

It’s silent on my side of the line for a while. “Er...a while.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“No, probably not.”

“Well this is me calling you and telling you to do your log before you leave. BigHit sent us some of those questions, answer them if you don’t know what to say.” My voice starts to cut in but Himari cuts me off. “I mean it! If you don’t I’m making sure you sleep on the couch when you get here.”

My sigh is audible, Aera looks up at Minsuh with the ghost of a smile.

“Ok, will do. I’ll log it as soon as I get off this call. How is everybody?”

Minsuh pipes up. “Hey Beth! We’re good!”

“Am I on speaker? Hey Min! Who else is there?”

“Just me,” Aera says, leaning closer to the phone. “I’m about to clean up your room so there aren’t any cobwebs. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, B. I miss you.”

“Aw, I miss you too A. You don’t have to worry about my room...but make sure nobody has stolen my Jeju Island photo. Where’s everybody else?”

The camera jumps to another location, answering my very question. Kyung-soon is walking up to a nice looking apartment, double checking some files before kindly greeting a couple. She must have had a client.

Again the camera jumps, this time to a different continent where I’m settling down before my camera as I record my first log in months. I’m sitting at my kitchen island in my apartment back in the states, a picture of all the girls and I hanging on the wall behind me.

“Hello camera, it’s me again. Sorry for not logging in a while, I’ve been busy. And now I’m about to leave in a couple of hours to catch my flight to Seoul.” I look at my phone before me, reading something off of it. “This will be pretty quick, but I’ve got some of the questions BigHit sent me, so I’ll try to answer a few before I have to leave. Sound good?”

I scroll through the list of questions, eyebrows furrowed as I try to find a good one. “Hmm, it looks like these have gotten more and more personal over the years. I guess I’ll go with this one: ‘what do you look forward to the most returning to Seoul?’”

Shuffling in my seat I bite my lip as I stare down the camera. “I think I just get excited to be back with everybody. I know I don’t usually say anything like this, but I really miss them when I’m gone. I’m kind of stranded out here in the states. It’s hard to be here and know that all six of them get to stay together while I jump around from place to place. At least I’ll get to stay for a solid six months this time around, maybe more. Just depends.”

Namjoon fidgets behind me until he’s directly behind me. Slowly he pulls me back against his chest until I’m laying with my head tucked under his chin.

“Wow, this one’s intense. Should I just answer it? I doubt anybody will actually ever watch this. I feel like my logs are pretty boring. It says, ‘if you could go back and say anything to yourself three years ago, what would you say?’”

I lean back against my chair, pushing my hair out of the way. “I’m not sure I would really say much. There was just so much going on, it was information overload. I remember when I woke up the next morning, I thought everything was a dream. My sister had no clue, so I just left her a note and left our hotel to go on a run.” I laugh a little, recalling the memory. “I probably looked so crazy! This white girl running around Seoul like a maniac. I finally got to a point where I stopped, and finally was starting to calm down. Then, ha! Oh my gosh I remember this like it was yesterday, seriously. I checked my phone and saw that I had a notification from Weverse. It said ‘RM commented on so and so’s post’ and I lost it. Right there in the middle of this random park I started bawling. I was so overwhelmed.”

Namjoon’s grip tightens on me, and I take a deep breath. I’d honestly forgotten that I’d even done this log, I really didn’t think they’d put it into the documentary.

“So if I could go back to three years ago, I think I’d go to that moment and just give myself a hug. I was so terrified and had nobody to talk to. I’d hug myself, and say, you figure out how to keep moving forward. Just enjoy the ride, because it’s a crazy one.”

The screen fades out, my voice still narrating as I talk over the others girls’ actions. Kyung-soon is helping that couple to sign some paperwork.

“It’s definitely been crazy, but I’m better because of it.” I narrate and Kyung-soon gives an award winning smile to the couple, saying her goodbyes before heading back to her car.

Now we’re watching Minsuh laugh about something with Himari in the kitchen.

“I don’t want to think about where I’d be without my soul sisters, they mean so much to me. I really never thought I’d meet people as amazing as them in my life.”

Aera is in my room, sweeping and straightening my photo of Jeju Island.

“Sometimes I still wonder if there’s been a huge mistake and I’ll get a call from BigHit saying that I don’t actually have a soulmate. Things are so good that I think they may be too good.”

Seohyun jogs in a park, making faces at the camera each time she passes in front of it.

“But I’ll just keep living this dream for as long as fate will let me.”

Ichika struggles up the stairs to the apartment, grocery bags all over the place. The camera shakes as it’s set on the ground, and the cameraman assisting her.

“And as for the last question for this log… ‘if you could say a single sentence to your soulmate, what would you say?’”

Suddenly we’re back in my apartment, where I give a side smile to the camera.

“Hey Namjoon, wanna go out sometime?” Winking at the camera I lean up and turn it off.

The screen goes black, and then words cut across the screen.

Final Installment- Episode 132 “Finally.”

Everybody comes back to life as the introduction to the final episode ends and the rest of the episode starts up. Namjoon leans down to whisper in my ear.

“I’m sorry for making you cry in the park that morning.”

I shake my head. “I can’t believe you’re apologizing for that and not for trying to kill me earlier.”

My body shakes with Namjoon’s laugh, and we settle down to continue watching the documentary before us.

Kyung-soon stands in the living room with a huge mass of balloons before her. Minsuh comes up behind her, staring in awe.

“That’s a lot of balloons.”

Kyung-soon nods, biting her bottom lip. “Do you think it’s too much?”

“No, I think it looks great. Just, how are we going to get them into the car?”

“I have no idea.”

The two of them discuss possible game plans as Himari wanders in looking at her phone.

“Ok everyone! She’s over the ocean between us and Japan. We should probably get going. Wow,” she finally notices the balloons. “Looks good, Soon-ah. Don’t fly away, though. Seokjin would be so upset.”

Footsteps sound as the other three girls come in, each one’s attention going straight to the balloons.

“Ha! That’s amazing.” Ichika says. “She’s going to die when she sees that.”

The scene cuts to the airport, the girls anxiously waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Himari once again checks her phone for my flight information.

“It says that the flight landed fifteen minutes ago, she should be here any second.”

Aera nudges her. “Yah, you’re acting like your long lost lover has finally returned.”

Himari raises her eyebrows. “And?”

“Oh, there she is!” Seohyun shouts, and sure enough I appear on camera. Hat down low and a mask on I wave at everyone. A few people pause to look at all the commotion before continuing on.

Namjoon whispers to me again. “You look like a celebrity with your hat and mask.”

I chuckle, watching my reunion with the girls that only happened earlier this week. “I felt like one, too.”

My soulmate lets out a breathy laugh when the girls start teasing me, asking me what my reaction would be if he were the one to pick me up from the airport.

“You know, I’ve noticed that you’re really good at avoiding teasing.”

“I’ve had lots of practice.”

The documentary skips to our apartment, the girls hanging out in the living room debating whether or not to wake me up or let me sleep.

“I’m going to wake her up, she’s probably starving.” Aera says, and Minsuh follows her out of the room. The other girls remain in the room, Seohyun talking about one of her classes.

I nearly fall asleep in Namjoon’s arms, it’s so comfy. What brings me out of my stupor is the distinct sound of Seohyun’s rendition of “Mic Drop” and everybody laughing along with her.

I watch as we enjoy the show, Kyung-soon announcing to everyone that we’re going on ahead. Suddenly I jolt up, Namjoon jumping at the sudden movement. I remember what comes after this.

“What’s wrong?” Namjoon asks. “Did you see a bug?”

“No…” My attention is pulled into the documentary as Kyung-soon and I quietly converse. “It’s just - that was a hard night for me. That’s all.”

I can feel Namjoon’s eyes assessing me but I refuse to look at him for fear of him seeing right through me.

“If you’re uncomfortable we can go inside,” he offers.

Finally I look over to him. He calmly returns my gaze, awaiting my answer.

“I think I’m fine for now. Just, don’t judge me, ok?”

Namjoon nods fervently. “Never.” Extending his arms out, he pulls me back into his chest. “Let me know if you want to leave, and we’ll go.”

Kyung-soon and I appear on the balcony of our apartment, where we both study the stars above us.

“I can’t-”

“You have to. Beth, please don’t lock us out and keep all of these feelings to yourself. You don’t have to tell us every little thing, but you need to talk about it. Just because you don’t say it out loud doesn’t mean that you won’t feel scared or worried anymore.”

The tension is palpable as my sobs cut through the silence. I’m pretty sure Namjoon stopped breathing.

“I look at our boys, and I feel like they’re already complete. They have each other, they have ARMY, they’re complete. They have no idea that soulmates are even a thing, let alone that they have soulmates. There’s a part of me that’s mad about that. Mad that for the last three years I’ve been waiting for a man that is already happy without me, that is already more loved that he can even fathom. Mad at freaking Mr. Bang, because he refuses to tell them until the ‘time is right’. It’s been three years! And I’ve picked myself back up and tried my hardest to continue on in my career, and it’s fulfilling. I have the most amazing friends in the world, my family is so loving and supportive, and I love my job. So why do I feel so lonely?”

Namjoon wraps his arms around me tightly, and I feel that strange ache in my chest again. This time, though, it aches and aches until it cracks. With it, come the tears.

Like a dam come undone the tears flow from my eyes as the echoes of my sobs from the documentary cut through the night. Namjoon holds me tighter, tighter until he’s all I can feel.

“You know what, come here.” Namjoon says, his voice thick. He stands, pulling me up with him. We’re near the back, so nobody really notices us as Namjoon pulls me away. He leads me around my beach house until we’re completely blocked from view. The audio from the documentary follows me, and I keep my eyes trained on the ground as the tears blur my vision.

Namjoon finally comes to a stop, his hands resting firmly on my shoulders. I can’t bring myself to look up at him, thoroughly humiliated at one of my most vulnerable moments being on full display.

“Beth, look at me.” I shake my head, angrily wiping away my tears. He reaches up to catch a tear as it rolls down my cheek. “Look at me. Please.”

Again I shake my head, completely mortified at the situation I’m in. Wasn’t this supposed to be a fun trip? Worry-free?

“Ok, that’s ok. You don’t have to.” Namjoon moves to grab my shoulders again. “I just need you to listen to me. Can you do that for me?”

I clench my teeth as I nod, trying so hard to keep in my sobs.

“Alright. I am so-” his voice cracks and he takes a moment before speaking again. “I am so sorry, Beth. For all of it. For making you feel that way. I wish - I just wish we could have avoided all that heartache and pain. You were so strong, for so long. You still are, I can see that. From the second we first met I saw that you are strong and the most incredible person to ever walk the earth. I might be a bit biased,” I croak out a laugh which seems to spur him on, “but nobody can change my mind about you. I was lonely, too. Did you know that? Even with all the love I receive every day, I’m still lonely. Do you know how infuriating that is?”

Steeling my nerves I peak up at him. My heart twists further when I see the tears running down my soulmate’s face. He continues on, paying them no mind.

“I felt like there was something so wrong with me, but I learned with time that it’s normal. Everybody feels lonely. It’s a horrible feeling, and confusing sometimes. Especially when it feels like you have every reason to be happy. But we’re human. This is part of our human experience, as much as it sucks. Beth,” Namjoon rests a hand under my chin when my eyes fall again, gently urging me to look up at him. “I don’t feel alone anymore. That’s because of you. Just seeing you, I feel like everything is going to be alright. Do you see how amazing that is? I’m not lonely anymore. Please, Beth.” He releases a shaky breath, the earnestness in his eyes bringing a fresh wave of tears to my eyes. “Let me try. I don’t want you to feel alone anymore. Let me in,” Namjoon gestures to his heart, “and I swear I’ll never leave.”

Staring up at him, I know he’s telling the truth. I can tell he means every word he’s saying. But I have to know. I have to ask.

“You’ve been promising a lot of things,” I mutter, inhaling sharply as the tears rush down my face. “Are you sure you can keep all your promises? Please, Namjoon. Please don’t promise me something you can’t keep.”

Gently brushing the tears from my face, Namjoon leans in. Slowly, and close enough that I can see the light reflected in the tears still on his face. My heart, limp and weak as it may be, jumps at the close proximity.

“Do you mind if I make another promise?” Namjoon whispers before his lips brush up against my cheek. I freeze as he licks the salty mixture from his lips before moving to the other side.

“N-no,” I mumble.

Just there, the only warning I have is the feeling of his warm breath before he sweetly kisses away the remaining tears on my other cheek.

He pulls away just enough to look into my eyes. “I promise that I will never make you a promise that I cannot keep.”

Eyes drifting down to my mouth he tilts my head up ever so slightly. My eyes drift shut of their own accord, the only thing keeping me tied to the earth being Namjoon’s hands that hold me like I may break at any moment.

The first brush of his lips takes my breath away, the feeling so light that I wonder for a brief moment if this isn’t all just in my head.

Slowly he deepens the kiss, just enough for the salty tang of my tears on his lips to seep into my senses. The bittersweet taste has me reaching out to him, hands fisting the material over his chest. I cling to my soulmate as he clings to me, and even the world slows for a moment in order to accommodate this moment. Fate has never been my friend, but in this sliver of time I feel that it has been uncommonly kind to me.

By the time we pull away, resting our foreheads together, the ache in my heart has subsided. Namjoon’s hands slide down to my waist, holding me in place. As if I’d go anywhere.

I look up at my soulmate only to find his eyes still shut, drinking in the moment. Taking the precious seconds fate has given me, I study him out. Bliss suits him.

As though feeling my gaze, his eyes slide open. A small smile crosses his features, and the word that I have come to associate with Kim Namjoon over the past couple of days reappears in my mind’s eye, hanging over us like the stars in the sky.

Perfect.

Previous - Next

Taglist is open! Happy Halloween this weekend everyone! Thoughts? They finally kissed! (lol, finally. they’ve known each other for what, two or three days?) I love these two. Stay safe and healthy! 

taglist: @mae-musicbitch @taylorroe3​ @heartblackerthancoffee @eusticenatalie @agustneeds

[pauls-broken-a-glass65]

hi!! i recently discovered your blog and i honestly looove it so much!! (fellow paul mccartney girl here, especially for 80s paul ehehe~) since i want to get more into paul’s solo music, i was wondering if i could ask for some song recommendations? for reference, my favorite songs by him at the moment are “only love remains”, “the back seat of my car”, “beautiful night”, and “wanderlust” and i recently discovered and fell in love with “this one” :’) thank you so much!!! <3

Hi "anon"!

I know who you are ;)

I am happy to know that my blog makes someone happy. Well, on one thing we agree: Paul is beautiful, isn't he? *Sighs*

We have good taste.

I love all the songs you quoted <3

From what I could see, you like ballads and Paul is an expert at it. I'll recommend songs from each of his albums from the 70s to the 90s (my favorite albums), I'll try to pick the best ballads, I promise.

Let's see 🤔🤔🤔

"McCartney", 1970:

"Maybe I'm Amazed"

"Junk"

The first one: I couldn't stop talking about this song. Whether the melody, the piano, the voice of Paul, this song is perfect in any sense. IT'S A CLASSIC! And it's a ballad......❤

The second one: It's a shame this song is so small. She is so calm, cozy, Paul's sweet and somewhat romantic voice makes everything better. My favorite version of this song is from the 90s (Unplugged) but I'll get there soon.

2. "RAM", 1971:

"Uncle Albert / Admiral Halsey (Medley)"

Ok, can we talk about how wonderful this album is? How great Paul and Linda are together, especially singing? My favorite song from the album.

I confess that this album is a bit snobby but I decided to listen to it again and I fell in love. In the case of this song, I love the second part of it, I can't explain it, it gives me a feeling of being in a beautiful big garden, running towards the sun, it's such a good vibe.

(Sorry, but I will include his albums with Wings because YES!)

3. "Band On The Run", 1973:

"Mrs. Vanderbilt"

"Band On The Run"

"Jet"

"Nineteen Hundred and Eighty Five"

Energetic. This word defines the whole album (or part of it). The 70s energy is here, everywhere. Listen to the whole album and you understand. My favorite is "Mrs Vanderbilt".

4. "Back To The Egg", 1979:

"Getting Closer"

"Spin It On"

"Arrow Through Me"

"Baby's Request"

"Rockestra Theme"

I don't know which song I speak first, maybe my favorite "Arrow...", the beat, Paul's "Ooh Babe", is one of the sexiest songs I've ever heard.

"Getting Closer" is awesome. Since the melody, the end of the song is everything to me.

I confess that I'm obsessed with this song for the simple fact that Paul shouts the word "Closer" over and over again at the end.

I don't know, this man gives me energy by doing this and other things...

"Spin It On" it's a very punk rock song.

In other words, "Punk" Paul! 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

I doubt you'll be still when this song plays.

"Baby's Request" it's one of the sweetest songs I've ever heard. Listen and you will understand why.

"Rockestra Theme":

"Bringing together the best in rock to make rock music in the form of an orchestra? Impossible!"

Well, tell that to Paul and his famous friends.

There's nothing this man can't do.

(80s Paul now! Here we go!!)

5. "McCartney II", 1980:

"Coming Up" (Live At Glasgow 1979)

"On The Way"

"Waterfalls"

Well, I love the extended studio version of "Coming Up" but this version is live version....

I read in somewhere that he doesn't like it when his voice is like this live version, "husky". I Love. It gave a better difference to the music. Let's Dance!!!!!!

"On The Way" is one more song that you fall even more in love with, mainly because of the sensuality of the song and his voice itself. Trust me, I would love for him to put me against the wall to this song😏

Is "Waterfalls" a ballad? In my view, yes. And a good one!

I already cried listening to her. His need and tenderness in this song make me hug him tight and fill him with kisses every time he says he "needs love".

6. "Tug Of War", 1982:

"Take It Away"

"Ebony And Ivory"

"Somebody Who Cares"

"Get It"

(I was going to recommend "Here Today" but you're going to die of dehydration from crying, anyway....)

One of my favorite albums! It was difficult to choose a few songs from several that I like.

"Take It Away" is one of those songs that you need to hear the song before it for the magic of transition to happen. She makes you dance, dream. Happiness? Is here.

"Ebony And Ivory" is a MASTERPIECE!!!!

If you've never heard this song, go do it now!

It's a classic!!!!

"Somebody Who Cares" and "Get It" are the songs that almost no one pays attention to.

The first one : Can we talk about the guitar? It's amazing, it brings me peace.

The second one: The only thing wrong with it is that it ends. It should be longer. That song sticks in your head.

7. " Pipes Of Peace", 1983:

Honestly, I recommend you listen to the entire album more carefully at:

"Pipes Of Peace"

"Say, Say, Say"

"Keep Under Cover"

"Through Our Love"

"Pipes of Peace" is one of those essential songs for you to hear from him. Great vibes! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

"Say....." is a CLASSIC, THAT'S IT.

Paul and MJ❤

"Keep Under Cover" is my favorite song of this album <3

Do you know "On The Way"? Same feeling. Sometimes, I get the impression that he's sexy in certain songs on purpose, to tempt the fans.

The sensuality and feeling of a "forbidden love" of him make me sigh madly.....*Bites lip*

You wanted a ballad, right? "Through Our Love" is for you as well as some others from the album I didn't name. It's romantic, in a way sweet, I want a man like him in my life.🥺❤

8. "Give My Regards To Broad Street", 1984:

I recommend this entire album focusing on:

"Ballroom Dancing"

"Silly Love Songs"

"No More Lonely Nights (Ballad)"

"The Long And Winding Road"

My favorite album of his! Say what you want, I love the movie!!!!

"Ballroom Dancing" is maybe the song I listened to the most this year. It's great to have a party in your room, just you and the music. It's a trip to the 80s.

"Silly Love Songs"..........I think her title speaks for itself. I prefer this version to the original (Wings).

80s vibes YES PLEASE-

The last two are a masterpiece.

And I think you'll really like "No More Lonely Nights", hehe.

"The Long And Winding Road" is something else......❤

9. "Press To Play", 1986:

One of my favorite albums, regardless of how most people hate this album.

"Press"

"Only Love Remains" (!!!!!)

"However Absurd"

Don't be fooled by the apparent innocence of "Press". Nothing like Paul talking more subtly and discreetly about sex. I LOVE HIM.

The last two are the best quality ballads.

The first one you must know very well and the second one will make you even more in love with him, believe me.

10. "Flowers In The Dirt", 1989:

YEEEEEEAAAHHH!!!!!

Sorry, my favorite album right here.

Please listen to the whole album, it deserves all the attention in the world, especially:

"This One" (!!!!!!!)

"Distractions"

I don't have words to describe how much "This One" is important to me.

It's one of his most beautiful songs in my opinion.

"Distractions" is one of his most beautiful ballads. The guitar, the lyrics, his calm voice, it's perfect❤

11. "Off The Ground", 1993:

"Off The Ground"

"Hope Of Deliverance"

Both songs have great vibes and won't fail to cheer you up, especially the second one.

Now, let's go to the honorable mentions (that song from the whole album, I just like it) :

"My love", From "Red Rose Speedway", 1973 (This song IS love)

"Mull Of Kintyre", From "Wings Greatest".

"Calico Skies", From "Flaming Pie".

"Rock Show", From "Venus And Mars", 1975.

"Let 'Em In", From "Wings At The Speed Of Sound", 1976.

"C Moon" (90s Version) (Soundcheck)

"Goodnight Tonight", From "WingsPan"

Well, I think you have a lot of songs to know, then let me know if you like any.

Thanks for asking!!!!💖💖💖

[rastronomicals]

7:31 AM EDT March 25, 2024:

Robin Trower - "Caravan To Midnight" From the album Caravan To Midnight (1978)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

So: after 1983's Back It Up, James Dewar retires as the voice of the Robin Trower Band. But Robin of course wants to keep playing, so he hires a guy named Dave Bronze to sing for him and to play bass. And I'm sure Dave Bronze is a nice enough guy, but to say that he doesn't have the baritone presence of either Dewar or Jack Bruce would be a little of an understatement.

It is against this background that I tell you how my buddy and I went to see Trower in the late '80's, as the guitarist was touring off either Passion or Take What You Need.

My buddy is thinking how great it would be to have an autograph of Mr. Trower, but the other salient fact is that my buddy was not a vinyl guy; he was a cassette tape guy. I told you this was the '80's, right?

So he does what's required and makes a special trip to the record store to try and buy some Trower on vinyl, so he can take it to the show and have the guitarist sign it.

But then as it turns out, said record store doesn't have any Trower on vinyl--all it has on vinyl is The Best of Procol Harum. Certainly not ideal, but hey, he'd made the trip and he wanted to have something for Trower to sign, and Trower DID play on many of the cuts, so, no doubt thinking about our imperfect universe, my friend buys The Best of Procol Harum.

So we get out to the show, and Dave Bronze ain't James Dewar, but Robin remains Robin, and it's pretty fucking great, even if the songs from Passion are perhaps a little too obviously poppy. And my buddy's clutching his Procol Harum record throughout.

And then afterward, he sees a small throng forming stage right, and he's like, that's where I'm going, and I'm like, I'll be outside.

I'm through my beer and into a second one outside when he stumbles up to me with a sour expression on his face. And it turns out there were a bunch of people queuing up, but Trower never opened the stage door-although Dave Bronze did. So with much the same feeling that he must have had when he bought the Procol Harum record, my friend exercised the limited option he had available to him, and had Dave Bronze--who most likely never even MET Keith Reid or Gary Brooker--sign his copy of The Best of Procol Harum.

1/12/24 EDIT: Oh shit, looks like Dave Bronze was actually a member of Procol Harum! Trower rejoined Brookwer and Reid for a 1991 album and he brought Dave with him. Point still remains, I'd think.

--

[kyotakumrau]

2020.09.19 ROCK AND READ 091 - interview with utA - translation PART 2/2

And so hati and I left Niigata with very little money, but carrying a guitar and a bass with us, we went to Tokyo.

Interview: Yukinobu Hasegawa Photos: Yosuke Komatsu (ODD JOB LTD.)

Translation: kyotaku You can buy the magazine on amazon, tower records etc ฅ( ̳• ·̫ • ̳ฅ)♡

PART 1 HERE

-- With 40~50k yen you can do a short sightseeing trip to Tokyo (laughing).

utA: Yeah, that's why we got part time jobs soon and started saving, and together with hati we rented a cheap place in a wooden building for about 40k yen. And there our Tokyo life has started.

-- Sounds very Showa style (laughing). Where in Tokyo was it?

(*Showa era, 1926-1989, is often referred as nostalgic old times, retro style; but the house utA and hati lived in was likely an actual Showa building... which are seen as not safe during disasters and thus very cheap to rent)

utA: It was in Komagome. There was no bath, but it was something like a detached house, so for 45k it was super cheap. But it was a considerably old building.

-- But still that's cheap. For a detached house. Was it a stigmatized property by any chance?

utA: Right? But it was cheap, so we thought why not (laughing). The two of us. Even if there's some issue.

-- There's issue with you two (laughing). There were two of you meant to live there, but it would be totally fine if the third unknown occupant appeared suddenly?

utA: Yup (laughing).

-- So you wouldn't be bothered if some floating life form came out?

utA: Yup, no problem at all (laughing). Actually, there was an episode of the ghost visit. You probably won't publish this part of the talk, but it seems like I can actually sense the supernatural. It was when I was writing music when living in that place, I suddenly felt strongly some weird presence behind me, I've been hugged tightly, and when I shouted surprised 'who's it??!' I couldn't see anyone. I thought, ah, someone had passed away in this room at some point. There is really a lot of interesting stories from when we lived in that house (laughing).

-- This is something that must end up in the printed interview for sure.

utA: Seriously?! Won't that be too scary for people who really believe in ghosts? (laughing)

-- Have you encountered many phenomenons like that?

utA: Yes, I have. I could feel many spiritual beings already from before, but there were just a lot, in that place. When hati came back from his part time job I remember telling him 'holy shit someone just grabbed me from behind, we have to move out as soon as possible' (laughing).

-- As you were living in a crazy place like that you have later started a band, it was 9GOATS BLACK OUT, right? It's a bit spooky/ominous band's name, was it because of this?

utA: I guess (laughing). It was crazy living over there, but also very fun. During summertime, the two of us would be bathing in the small garden outside, hati would be taking a shower in the kitchen sink, or sleeping in the oshiire*(laughing). He was a great guy, super funny. With this hati I've done one more band in Tokyo before 9GOATS BLACK OUT. But it only lasted about a month. When looking for a good potential band members, we reached out with invitation to a vocalist ryo from Niigata who done bands like D'elsquel or GULLET. And even as we went to Tokyo to look for band members, we ended up forming a band with 3 guys from Niigata, starting activities in Tokyo. And for that ryo moved to Tokyo.

(*oshiiire is Japanese closet. It's much deeper than Western style closet and has a shelf, you can actually put a single mattress in😆)

-- To that stigmatized/haunted house?

utA: No, no!! (laughing) He actually refused 'I'm not coming to a place like that!' (laughing).

-- ryo was working as a designer then.

utA: Yeah, he was working as a designer in Niigata, but we asked him if he wouldn't quit (laughing). As we could write great songs to make it [in music]. And ryo agreed. Starting the band in Tokyo was like turning over a new leaf. All of us moved to Setagaya ward in Tokyo.

-- Did you choose a stigmatized place again?

utA: It was also an older building, but without any strange situation going on, it was fine (laughing). This time not house sharing, all of us got our own small apartments.

-- 9GOATS BLACK OUT has a very firm image as a very original, strongly idiosyncratic band.

utA: That's definitely true. From when we started activities, the pace of work has never decreased, I think it was a good condition.

-- It was a visual kei band, but musically it had quite a lot from the ambient like elements. You had many very interesting songs.

utA: Yup. Gradually I was leaning more and more to add ambient style to songs. As for why, when we started in Tokyo, in my mid 20s I was increasingly listening to Western artists. Before that I think I wasn't listening to artists outside visual kei, but as I progressively became a better musician I started noticing more and more the greatness of the overseas bands and music. I really got into Radiohead and MUSE, and the songs I was writing got a bit more ambient.

-- Those artists place big importance on the sound of each album.

utA: True. My favourite band now is Radiohead. But at that time I was probably aiming to have a band in a style of MUSE. But our songs were not as rock-ish as MUSE is.

-- MUSE is not only an English rock, their sound is very much arena rock like.

utA: The MUSE now definitely is like that, but I really love their first album 'Showbiz'. Starting from the first song 'Sunburn' there was an amazing ambient, I was probably influenced by that.

-- You got attracted to the clean tones from when you started to play the guitar, so do you like the air surrounding the sound, the pleasant feeling of the ambient style?

utA: That's right. It was with 9GOATS BLACK OUT that we gave shape to songs like that, so musically it was very fulfilling.  Speaking of albums, songs were mainly written by me, ryo and hati done 1 or 2 songs each. So with that it's like I kinda run out of song ideas fast (laughing), or I used everything I had [and it wasn't enough]. There was a pattern that with each album I felt I had to open new doors.

-- You included plenty of synthesizer sounds, creating a three-dimensional sound.

utA: I did, yeah. I was exhausted with every song. There were times when I'd write the main part of the song, and after that I would throw it to the drummer or bassist asking them [to finish it]. Creating songs with 9GOATS BLACK OUT was a good learning experience, but I also experienced how it is to use everything you had and look for new doors to open. I had a healthy attitude towards music, but on the other hand it was also harsh.

-- Around 2013 9GOATS BLACK OUT has ceased activity, where did that come from?

utA: We disbanded 5 years after the formation. It was due to the differences between the band members (about music/band direction).

-- Each of you were writing songs, when you followed through did the music production make each of you do some soul searching?

utA: Yeah, it felt like each of us was changing a bit and the gap growing between us was slowly getting closer to reaching the limit. And as a result, we arrived at the point where we didn't agree where to go next as a band. That's why I think at the latter period each of us felt that as a band our demise is nearing.

-- When that came did you start thinking about your next step?

utA: Nope, not at all. This is similar to when I was graduating the high school, I don't think about what's next (laughing). For now let's stop. After that somehow it will work. Like I'll do what I have to. Weirdly optimistic, I didn't know what's ahead. I wasn't planning on quitting music, but I was tired of writing songs, I was thinking of taking a break for 1 or 2 years from that, wanted to do it properly.

-- And then Kyo contacted you?

utA: Yup! I was very grateful, happy and surprised.

-- I heard that Kyo contacted you saying that he has listened to 9GOATS BLACK OUT music and wants that sound?

utA: That's why I was so moved when I heard that. Since I started music I felt I wanted to maintain my own worldview, this hasn't changed even now. I was glad I could continue, really glad. I felt 'even among musicians there's someone who really appreciates [my sound]'. That time Kyo and Takumi already started writing music for sukekiyo, and were at the stage of thinking what to do about other band members.

-- Have you met those two before?

utA: Not really. But I think we played at some big event with RENTRER EN SOI. And I also had a chance to see DIR EN GREY live twice. But we haven't met then, so our first meeting was when we talked about sukekiyo. [It went like] 'it's really an honour, I'm really grateful that you appreciate my music, I'm really looking forward to working together'.

-- Did Kyo had any specific requests?

utA: It's the same now, he told me to do whatever I want. He hasn't changed since then. That's why from the start I had freedom when working. When working on "IMMORTALIS" I could just let out my worldview freely, so I really enjoyed it. But from the next title "VITIUM" I started to wonder what exactly do I want. So for me, the freedom was the reason I started to lose my way. From around "ADORATIO" Kyo might have started to ask us 'what about something like this as a big picture?', but beyond that it was all 'please do whatever you like'. Not only in terms of music, but I'm quite a free spirit, also among band members (laughing). So I'm very grateful to receive such a generous support from Kyo and other members. YUCHI and Takumi, and Mika help to unify my songs. I really have freedom when creating the original melody. I really think I'm blessed to have those people around me. I'm truly thankful that even though I'm such a free spirit they are all people who can understand me and treat me kindly. They are amazing.

-- It's been 7 years since sukekiyo started, is the gratitude only getting stronger?

utA: On one hand it's getting stronger, but as our time together becomes so long there's also a thing it's by now embarrassing to say. It became difficult to say thank you. Especially having all this support from Kyo, I'm just so grateful to him. It feels like he cares so much, for me. If I got it wrong, sorry for assuming (laughing). When I fail, I get pulled in by that thought, I'm not able to do anything including song writing. Having freedom when creating songs, there's no end of ideas, but rencently they came a bit. With the release of "ADORATIO" in 2017 and "INFINITUM" in 2019 I've been thinking about it a lot, what will we do next. sukekiyo is doing quite a lot music wise.

-- So now it's not like you get influenced by something so you can write?

utA: That is rapidly going away.

-- But for example, even when you write a thing influenced by something else, when it's finally sent to other member shouldn't it be reborn as a totally new thing?

utA: You're totally right. Yeah, it will be reborn as something new, so I just thought it'd be totally fine if I let my mind wander more and create. Of course I want to push myself and always create something that will make you think 'oh amazing' the moment you hear it, including the worldview as well, but if I only do things this way it will always be like that, when I instead pass the idea to the band members it's so interesting to see how it will change. So now, you gave me a very good hint (laughing). Just, my hate of loosing in weird way comes out here, I want to be able make people react 'I'll be damned, what was that!' all by myself. I want Kyo or other members to accept the song when listening at first only to the sound I created. I want to surprise Kyo, who blessed me with 'I want your sound'. Actually, I already made some crazy songs, I want to make more songs I'm happy with and that members can listen.

-- When thinking specifically about the next [work], what kind of sound or songs do you want to pursue?

utA: It's something I've been saying from the start, I want to bring out abnormality/transformation. If the band's sound become electro or other, I don't care about this direction, but there's the thing were I don't want people to listen without questioning it. When no matter how many times you listen but it's hard to understand. And then after a year or so you start thinking it actually might be a good song. Saying that this is my ideal might sound strange, but I think songs like that are way more attractive. Not a song that you like from the first listen.

-- I totally get that feeling. Listening to the song, you can enjoy the wrestling with the music. It's beyond your comprehension, but you're drawn to it somehow. Because when you keep listening to it again and again, you start noticing more sides to it.

utA: That's true. It took me about 5~6 years to truly understand Radiohead. Especially "Pabro Honey" or "The Bends", at the beginning they totally didn't resound with me. The vertical axis felt off, or wasn't there a better chord than this etc. I was thinking that for so long, but then I finally understood after some years, it's because of those things they are good. I hope to someday be able to reach that level. Even if fans probably don't want songs for which you need 5~6 years to understand (laughing). But there is a joy of bringing something unknown to life. sukekiyo has created that for each album, so I'd really like to give birth to something even better again.