#like again I can't stop you. but I can block you
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Eddie hasn't answered the phone in nearly two days which, post Chrissy, post Vecna, post end of the world (averted), post every thing, is a wholly unacceptable amount of time.
Steve does a round robin on the walkie; everyone suddenly realizes they haven't heard from him either. Steve volunteers to go over.
He raps on the front door of the little two bed place Wayne owns now, a little government recompense after they took the trailer away to study, or whatever. Also quite a bit of 'take the house and keep your mouth shut,' kind of thing, Steve figures.
Wayne looks tired when he opens the door, kinda droopy, which Steve knows means he's really tired. Like, holding form is becoming a smidge difficult kind of tired.
Steve slips in fast, 'sorry Wayne, Eddie's van wasn't at his place so I figured he was here,' which he must be, because Eddie's van is here, and not outside his shiny new trailer, 'he hasn't been answering the phone.'
'He's here kid but he's kind of...having a rest day?' Wayne hedges. He's bad at lying, just like Eddie, Steve knows something is up.
'Can I see him, just for a second? Just check all is good?' Wayne gets Steve's protective nature, after everything that happened, he knows Steve likes to look after his people. He also knows Steve can keep a secret, only Steve and Robin know about Eddie and Wayne's shape shifting ability - carrying Eddie out of the upside down, convinced Eddie was about to die, only to have Eddie's glittery insides do something wholly unexpected was...well, Steve knows, is the thing.
Eddie also wins at doing impressions, since he can actually turn into movie stars, and that's kind of cool. Steve always likes watching Eddie turn back into himself though, maybe because of the crush he's been nursing.
Wayne caves, and Steve knows it's bad when he finds Eddie in the bin. He's shimmery and silver, and nearly tipping out the edges. He sloshes a little when Steve walks in, 'hey man, you didn't even make it to the bath? You want me to tip you out?'
Nothing, but the overhang wave of Eddie goo turns, hanging over the far lip of the big trash can. Like Eddie just turned his back.
'Uhm. I just. I just wanted to check you were okay? You know? Everyone's kind of worried.'
Eddie ripples. Like a sigh.
Eddie sloshes out of the bucket, his form building upwards until Steve is standing in front of...Nancy? Wearing a torn Dio shirt and plaid sleep pants.
'Eddie...that's kind of weird man.'
'I know!'. He waves Nancy's arms around, ' I know okay! But I can't stop it!'
'What...you're stuck? As Nancy.'
'Kinda', Eddie hedges, his ability to lie as bad as Wayne's.
'What does that mean?'
Eddie huffs, and shifts again...into Farah Fawcett. He crosses her arms over his now ample chest.
'Eddie...what is going on?'
Eddie shifts again, the hot brunette from the horror movie they watched two weeks ago, Steve can't remember the actresses name. He remembers saying she's hot though.
'Steve just...I'm having some kind of crisis, okay. It's just a bit of a...block. Just give me a few days and I'll be right as rain.'. Heather Locklear explains.
'Eddie...come on man, there's clearly something up.'
'This is so embarrassing.'
'Just tell me, okay? It can't be anything that bad, I won't judge.'
'It can be that bad,' Michelle Pfeiffer whines from behind her hands.
'Eddie...I'm not leaving until you spill.'
'I really...like you...' which, coming from Olivia Netwon-John, probably fulfils some sort of fantasy for Steve, but he has to remind himself he's thrilled to hear it from Eddie, too. 'So now I'm stuck, trying to be someone you actually want.'
'I...oh.'
'Yeah.'
'Well, I really want Eddie. So does that fix it?'
Brooke Shields cocks her hip and rolls her eyes, 'Steve, I'm not doing this on purpose, I don't have any control right now, so I don't need an empty platitude-'
'Its not. I've had a crush on you for ages. I'm not going to kiss you when you look like someone whose not Eddie.'
Eddie slowly melts back into himself, 'you're not?' he asks weakly.
'Nope, I can now though-'
'I'm back!!!' Eddie runs his hands all over himself, disappearing into the bathroom, checking the mirror he shouts, 'it's me! I'm me again! Oh thank fuck! Do you know how stressful that was! Having big tits is hell on your back-'
Eddie rambles, and Steve waits patiently for him to remember they could be making out right now.
Your friend, a shapeshifter (a secret you've kept since childhood) hasn't answered your texts in days, so you head to their home. Upon arriving, you find that they're in the middle of an existential crisis; they can't remember how to turn back into their original, human form.
#steddie#getting together#steve Harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#little story#idea from prompt#my writing
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that ask was rude of me, i should've just blocked you instead of telling you about it, i'm sorry. i'm aroace and sex+romance repulsed, and i guess i thought alastor was gonna be something i could enjoy for once like everyone else gets to without feeling like i'm intruding on a conversation i have no right to be part of. i'm on ios so i can't use browser extensions to actually get rid of all the alastor ship posts like i want, and i'm not sure my problem even has a solution short of just giving up trying, because so far i have found exactly zero blogs that are 1.) still active at all, 2.) still post about Hazbin, 3.) aren't actually 12 years old, and 4.) don't post about fucking Alastor ships. i got so excited seeing such good, recent art i haven't nuked yet considering how old every other post i can still see is, and i'm not kidding when i say i sent that ask through tears. it was rude and unacceptable either way, and i'm sorry.
i've blocked over 200 different people and i'm not exaggerating that number even a little bit. i would rather put a gun to my head and pull the trigger myself than see them so much as breathe next to each other ever again. i am so. so so so so so sick of searching and searching and searching and finding nothing.
the thing i've learned from alastor's aroace representation is that not only is the world as a whole not made to accommodate me, fandom space isn't either. i am an alien on a planet i was never made to fit into, and i don't even get to escape that through fiction like everyone else does. no amount of filtering and blocking and searching will bring into existence a community for me that simply does not exist, and it is futile for me to try. that's what this fandom has taught me.
i think the chances of me sticking around in this fandom are slim, so at least it won't be an issue for anyone else anymore. i think being excluded from conversations about an aroace character sting a lot more than just not being represented at all to be honest.
Okay, listen.
First of all, Alastor is officially an Ace, NOT an aroace. That means he can still be interested in any romantic things or finding a couple. No one is stopping you from seeing him exclusively as an aroace. But shaming people who don't share your point of view is a bad idea.
Secondly, I am an aroace artist myself. Romantic and sexual themes are virtually non-existent in my art. I can joke about it, but almost all of my drawings explore completely different things. And you come to me and try to talk about how hard it is to feel socially comfortable being an aroace? I understand your worries, but, again, trying to shame other people because they don't share your point of view is NOT a healthy coping mechanism.
Third, I have done THREE drawings in all my time that include a romanticized Alastor. Two of them were collabs, and the third was asked to be drawn by people. And these three drawings made you give up on my art, which you said you really liked?
The community is too heavily oriented towards romantic and sexual themes, it's true. People like us are often uncomfortable in that environment, that's also true. But aroace people can't just come in and ban others from having fun just because we don't find that fun or interesting.
Man, I'm not even Alastor's artist! What the kind of Alastor shipper am I? And you picked me out of a thousand people to block? Oh my God, that's as funny as it is sad.
In case you haven't looked at my art, I am a Lucifer artist. I very rarely draw Alastor, simply because I don't find him interesting enough. And because of that, I find it so funny to be labeled an “Alastor shipper”
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Vesuvia Weekly | 💚 Post-Route Muriel Headcanons | Masterlist (coming soon!)
theme: How To Comfort A Loved One
Muriel x GN!MC | CW: none
It's My Turn!
You had never seen Inanna act out before. But when you forget to do a beloved activity that brings you both together, you find Muriel pushed off to the floor and the defiant wolf in his place in the tiny floor mattress you three share
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Last night was the most fun you've ever had.
You and Muriel stumble through the front door of his hut. Your arm is slinged around his neck as he supports your weight with his.
You remember his laughs tickling your neck while you defend your sobriety with words slurring every other word.
Muriel carried on into the house, unconvinced.
"Hm, one thing's for sure," his careful whisper is loud in your ear, "Julian is formidable drinker."
The words summon a wave of nausea. You recall the dare. The excitement when you sat down. The regret when Julian swigged his tenth drink with ease. The relief when that man finally slumped against the table an hour later.
"Ugh." is all you manage to say.
You won. But at what cost?
Muriel shakes his head with a laugh. With his forehead against yours, it feels more like a nuzzle. You lean into his touch. His warmth is a balm to your aching head.
"Here, let's get you to bed soon."
Then, he snaps his thumbs. The fireplace fwooms to life. Its warm glow is kind to your eyes. You can see everything once again. Including the shadow stretching out to your feet. There's a sillhouette of one menacing wolf blocking the front of the fireplace, but you can only see the glow of her golden eyes through her shadow-veiled face.
She lowers her head. Is she.. glaring at you? Though she's shorter than both of you, you get the feeling that her golden eyes are staring you down.
"Whorf."
"Out with friends." Muriel says, "Why?"
Inanna lets out a snort that puffs in her chest. Her gaze moves from Muriel to you. She is unimpressed.
Muriel moves to the bed. He is gentle to lower you to the mattress on the floor. You can't help the sigh of relief at the moment your bum touches the mattress. Its softness invites your bones to relax. And you do. A happy hum falls from your lips as you lie down and sink into it. Finally, you can rest.
"Oh."
The crackling of the fireplace quiets your mind. You hear the chirping of crickets. A hoot of an owl. The hushed conversation between Muriel and Inanna. Your eyes begin to grow heavy as the forest's orchestra lulls you to sleep.
"She must've forgot." Muriel says, his volume lowered just enough that you can barely hear, "I'm sure she didn't mean it."
A whine. And stomp of a paw. Your eyes have fallen shut. Your mind is falling away into the depths of slumber.
"Awwour...."
A silent beat passes.
"Then, tell her in the morning." Muriel says, his tone is kind, "I'm sure she'll tell you why."
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My mind stirs to the sound of soft snores and chirping birds.
Where am I? I make a move to toss and turn when the ache in my muscles pinch me awake.
'Ow.'
What the hell? I let out a frustrated sigh.
I just want to go back to sleep. Instead, I force my eyes open to see what the problem is.
The room is dark. The dying embers in the hearth tell me that the flames must have died sometime in the night. I'm on the hard, cold floor.
I deadpan at myself. Well, no wonder why my body is aching.
I move to open my mouth, but a putrid smell attacks my nose. Eugh. I move my hand to smell my breath against it. Meat... Sugar... Alcohol? Had I been drinking?
A furry sillhouette lies on the bed, chest heaving up and down in slow rhythm. It's Inanna. But something is different.
She's sleeping on the side of the bed closest to the floor, which is my side. That's strange. She usually hogs the whole bed by sleeping in the middle.
I peer up to see the rest of the bed behind her sleeping figure.
Everything stops when my eyes catch a glimpse of you. You stir from sleep and turn to face my side of the bed.
Your hair is as disheveled as a rat's nest. Your chest heaves and sinks as you remain in a dreamful sleep.
My heart softens at your adorable face. How cute. You look so calm. So... content. I catch your irises shifting udner your eyelids. And you sigh. I wonder what you're dreaming about?
Then, with eyes still closed, your arm reaches out before you. You hand finds its way to Inanna's fur, and your head follows its lead as your fingers burrow in her fluffiness. Then you bury your head in her fur. You take a deep inhale, and deflate with a contented sigh.
"Muri, Honey." you croak into her fur, "What time is it?"
My mouth twists with a laugh building in my throat, but I bite it back.
Oh well. So much for a blissful morning.
Inanna gets up, without any care that your limpy body plops back into the bed, face first.
An exhale escapes my nose as I smile. You must be so tired after last night.
Inanna inches towards your face and snorts a strong exhale into your face, sending your tiny hairs flying.
"Haawr." She huffs again.
(Wake up time.)
You jolt up. Your bleary eyes adjust to the dark room for a beat. I have to chew my bottom lip as I watch you peer up and look about the room. Its no different than watching a lost scraggly kitten looking for its mother.
"Oh, hi Inanna." You lie back down next to her, "Sorry I thought you were Muriel."
"Hmmff!" Inanna makes a show of turning her back to you.
(Always Muriel!)
I deadpan at her. What does she mean by that?
I lie back down and pretend I'm asleep. There's no way I'm getting caught in that.
But I keep my face hidden away, just enough to watch things unfold.
"Aw, what's wrong, my darling? What's got you in a bad mood today?"
Tiny gusts of wind blows over to my skin as something swishes against the mattress. I smile.
'Darling'. Even if she's mad at you, you always somehow get her tail wagging.
Inanna lets out a yowling yawn. Then snorts again. She lets out a chesty, sniffling exhale. As if she were about to cry.
"Hhmf."
(Nothing. It's not like you forgot anything.)
"Hm? Oh Nana. So upset."
You move in closer, even as she inches away from you, and you catch her in a comforting embrace.
"What's wrong, my baby girl? What's got my baby so upset?"
Her tail wags speed up. Is she... Does she like being called that?
I squeeze further into my hiding spot. I feel like I'm a part of a conversation I shouldn't be hearing. Still...
I clamp my hand over my smile. I'm definitely teasing her about this later.
Inanna lets out another crying snort.
(Always with Muriel!)
She snorts again. Then licks her nose.
(Never my turn.)
I deadpan at her direction. What's that supposed to mean?
Then, I hear you gasp.
"Oh! Nana." you soften at her. You bury yourself deeper into her fur.
"I'm sorry, baby. I forgot your story time."
"Awrf."
(That's right.)
"And your mad at me because I forgot, when I promised you I would, huh."
Inanna sniffles. But her tail wags faster.
(Ywes. You pwomised.)
She lets out a big snort again. Then turns to you, her brows pushed together in her glare at you.
(BUT YOU FORGOT!)
"Harmf."
(Now I'm angy. No talk.)
"Aww I'm so sorry. I actually was going to read to you last night. I was going to wake up after a short nap. But I guess it really got to me. Sorry, Nana."
"Hmff!!"
She inches away again.
"I know, that's my fault."
You both are silent for a moment.
Or so I thought. I crane my neck to catch a glimpse of you, and I see the devious smile growing on your lips as a plan forms in your mind.
"Okay, Nana, how bout this?" you say, "What if you have me the whole day?"
Inanna snorts.
(Not listening.)
"It's my fault for forgetting. So what if I take the day off and we go to the market together?"
Her ear swivels to you, but she remains resolute in "not listening".
"Theeen~" your words take on a sing-sing tone, "We can buy that bear broth crisps that I know you've been keeping your eye on."
Then, her tail starts wagging.
"Aaand, we can go to that doggy day care spa that just opened in the other district--
Her tail limps.
"So that we can go back home and I can give us both a home spa after a round of hunting."
Her tail wags come back with a vengeance, beating again the mattress like a drum. Her body twists into a cresent shape, her head craning so far back that her golden, eager eyes are behold you in excited anticipation.
"We will also be hunting squirels."
Her tail is wagging so fast she's kicking up the floor dust as everytime it beats against the bed.
She snorts.
(And?)
"I'll cook us dinner."
Inanna leans forward with anticipation.
"It'll be roasted rabbit with that sweet potato puree you like."
The two black pools that make up her irises swell and glitter at you with affection. Then, out if nowhere, she stops. Her wagging tail halts mid-air and her breathing freezes.
She's waiting for you. Waiting for one last thing before going in for the final pounce.
I catch you bite your lip. There's a smile trying to break through your expression. As if opening your mouth would release the laugh in your throat and betray the poker face you've maintained thus far.
And it does.
"A-And!!" you clear out the laugh in your throat,
"I'll read you a bedtime story."
"RWAFF RWAFF!"
(YAYYYYY!!)
I smile at the sound. For a moment, you brought out the happy, bright pup that she used to be many years ago.
I had no idea she enjoyed being pampered this much. Maybe I should've been more affectionate with her, too.
You really have a way of bringing out the best in people.
She slams her big fluffy frame against you. No matter how careful she is about it, it send you both tumbling. The laugh you've been stifling breaks through. You're giggling as her big fluffy butt wiggles against you and she covers your face in slobbery kisses.
Sometimes Inanna forgets that she's not a pup anymore. She tries to fit her whole massive frame in your embrace. You wheeze when the full force of her hind legs rests on your ribs. Ouch.
I open my mouth to tell her off, but you return her affections with your arms around her in a tight embrace, inching your body to the side so she doesn't crush you completely. You rub her back affectionately
"I love you, Nana." you mumble into her fur, "I'm really sorry. I never want you to feel neglected."
You pull back to give her a warm smile. But with the previous night of carousing and drinking, it comes off as more tired than you'd like.
Inanna whines and her ears droop at you, sensing this as well.
(I-its okay. I was just kidding)
She regards you with big, sad eyes. A mix of worry and guilt shining in them.
(I don't really need all that. I'm okay if you just want to rest together today. That's all I konda want, y'know?)
You snort, amused at her expressions.
"I know. I'm sorry again, Nana."
You reach out and wrap her in your arms once more.
"We're gonna have the best day today, I promise."
Inanna stiffens. Her golden eyes dart around, a little lost with your response, before the deflated in defeat. That's not what she meant.
My heart breaks for her a little. She forgot that you can't actually hear her.
"Oo, y'know if Muriel's already out, then maybe we can go to my place and freshen up there. And then we can have a nice breakfast before we head to the market, yeah?"
And just like that, her worries melt away and her tail is wagging again. As you lay out your plans, she peers up at you with patient, loving eyes.
I sigh in relief. Looks like the worst part if over.
"Okay, wanna go now? Maybe if we have enough time for today, we can soak in the hot springs--"
The bed shifts. I'm caught off guard when your head juts forward and you catch my eyes open before I get to close them shut.
"M-Muriel?! Have you been there this whole time?"
"...No."
I peek through my closed eyes. And you're in full view of me, staring me down with your hands on your hips.
"Muriel..."
"Mmmff." I turn away from your pointed gaze.
"Not my fault I ended up here." I mumble, "And you guys were arguing so..."
"Well yeah." you say in a softer voice than I did. I almost couldn't make it out if I didn't read your lips, a skill I learned sometime ago because I couldn't hear someone sometimes.
.... Just like what I'm doing now.
A small heat burns my cheeks. Gods, you're so...
If this morning was different--
"And Inanna."
She flinches at her name. Her head droops in apology as she avoids your gaze too.
"Did you... push him out of bed?"
Inanna shakes her head.
You stare her down, unconvinced.
Then she nods. And deflates in further guilt.
You sigh. "Geez guys, what am I going to do with you both?"
Just as Inanna thinks it's all over, you shake your head with a chuckle and beckon her to follow you.
"Alright, come on, Nana. Let's go. We gotta add a new bed to the list too."
"W-What?!"
"Yes." You deadpan at me, "No more having difficulty sleeping or being forced to sleep on the floor, okay?"
"But--"
"Nuh uh. I'm not hearing any of it." You say, "Let's go, Nana. We got a lot to do today!"
And just like that, you're out through the front door, waiting for Nana to finish up before you both leave for the day.
Inanna needs no time to get ready. But I follow her to the front door to send her off.
"Gods..." I sigh. I scratch the back of my head.
"I should really lay her back for everything at this point."
"Whorf." Inanna looks up at me.
(Sorry. For kicking you off.)
"Hm." I chuckle, "Maybe... It wouldn't be so bad to be able to fit all of us into bed."
Inanna continues to stare at me, guilt behind the big, sad golden orbs of hers.
I guess that's not what she meant.
But I have an idea of what she might mean.
I pet her fluffy head without a hint of spite or resentment. After all, it's always more than that. I don't think I want to be mad at her for something like this.
"It's alright, Nana. Really" I say, "You go have fun, okay?"
It is a joy to see her ears perk up and her mouth in an open smile. There's a spark in her eyes that hadn't been there in a long time since I first met her.
I smile back at that warmth.
"Rawrf!"
(Okay!)
And just like that, she's off. Running to your side as you both walk and talk. Your sillhouettes grow small with the distance as you both are on your way back to the shop.
#vesuvia weekly#comfort the li#the arcana#the arcana brainrot#the arcana headcanons#muriel of the kokhuri#the arcana muriel kohkuri#muriel headcanons#muriel kokhuri#the arcana muriel#the arcana oc#muriel x reader#muriel x mc#muriel the hermit#muriel the arcana#muriel x apprentice#pepperflakesss
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wait tags aren't enough, i need to go more insane
FIRSTLY bringing back my discord reaction because. i stand by it okay.
okay so first thing i notice is the colour, the very monochrome red/salmon pink (?) in the background, their skin, even the hair. and then the bright contrast of the white shirt, the green pieces and words (AND WHAT WORDS THEY ARE!), the gold necklace. sidenote but i am IN LOVEEE with the way you render the necklace, it looks so slinky and fun. like not what a necklace looks like but what a necklace should look like if that makes sense?? it looks better than a real necklace basically. the composition?? oh my god. the rectangle that can't perfectly contain them is so fun, and then the words at the top and bottom (like teeth!) with "promise" emphasised like that! the ANGLE of them!! charles' completely focused expression, his lashes (the most important part!!!), his pointy ear and his wispy hair. what little we can see of edwin and what it hints at, the perfect hair and the back of the ear (which is so difficult to draw, i'm jealous of you!!) and the line of his neck and uh. his fingers. still so put together. also the lighting is just beautiful, i adoreeeeee the highlights over charles' eyebrows and eyelids, the side of his face, his chest, that seem to come from the bright background! ✨
SECONDLY NEW THINGS
comparing this against the previous version is insaneeeeeeee it's like spot the difference but difference is my sanity. no joke. i feel like i see the most difference in charles' face? so so gorgeous, i am in LOVE with the line of his nose and his lashes and his curls aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! THE GOLD MARCELA YOU ARE A GENIUS charles should wear gold eyeliner always and forever. thanks for coming to my ted talk. MULTIPLE EARRING CHARLES MY BELOVED and the NIP PIERCINGS?????? if you're trying to kill me you're. succeeding. holy shit. edwin playing with the piercings........
i've said this before but the angle is everything!!!!!!!!!! the subtle power dynamics, charles tilting his head up like that, even furrowing his eyebrows slightly.... and then the effect of this constrained rectangle with charles' head the only thing that pops out! and you know i'm crazy for that green/pink/white contrast we don't need to repeat this discussion.
AND YOUR TECHNIQUE?? the colouring and the shading and the sketch-like lines and the texture... it is everything i fear. dreaming of a date where you just show me your art techniques. holy shit
AND THE QUOTES??????? nick's quote will always be famous ofc (love those changes too, the added contrast and the sketchy quality of the blocks, but still matching the dark pinks!) AND CHARLES' BOOK OF SECRETS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i am NOT ready for the day that drops fr i'm telling you now
OVERALL
i did not think it was possible to fall MORE in love w nip touch art but you've managed to prove me wrong once again. JUST LOOK AT HOW HAPPY THEY ARE (okay okay i'll stop) charles in gold is everything to me. currently hyperventilating into a paper bag. if you care. also you dropped this 👑💍💖 they're yours now to do with what you will
10. in the meanwhile as you chop down our roots measure out D E V O T I O N add lantern oil stir the concoction counter-clockwise. leave it to simmer on the lowest heat. [charles' book of secrets] poem by me art quote by @wordsinhaled
#payneland#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#dbda#art#ART OF ALL ART#THE SORT OF ART THAT CHANGES LIVES
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a PSA
no one can stop you from saying "San Fran," but please know that every time a Californian reads it they take 50pts of psychic damage
#posts I created#you can call it SF or San Francisco#but not San Fran or Frisco#that's deranged#(also Frisco is a city in Texas)#no one who has lived here for longer than a month would ever ever say that#like again I can't stop you. but I can block you#if you are writing something that takes place in CA#and someone who lives in CA says that I will close your story and never finish reading it#if you live in the Bay Area you might call SF 'the city'#you *might* call Oakland 'the town' but it's not likely in my experience YMMV#mostly we just say. San Francisco. Oakland. Berkeley. Marin. etc#on the other hand if you want to signal or shorthand 'tourist'#then sure have a character say it#(I will still take 50pts psychic damage though 😅)#PS: Otis Redding is the one exception#Otis Redding you're amazing and can call SF whatever you want#Otis Redding I miss you
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every time a new season of a Popular Show™ that I actually follow drops i'm newly reminded of how god awful 90% of the discourse on this site is
#feel like the succ stuff wasn't as bad but that might just be selective memory. that's the only exception i can maybe think of#it's not like i usually post about niche shit it's just either not at the same scale of popularity or it's popular but not trending#or whatever so it's not that bad and i get lulled into a false sense of security#but like the second the b ear and h o t d picked back up again it was like. oh. now i remember why i stopped looking at tags and#tried to only talk about this stuff with people i already kinda know on here#it's just an endless torrent of the worst takes you've ever seen interspaced with self insert f ics and you can't even avoid it by#not going to the tag bc it floods every available 'recommended posts!' slot#and i don't want to block all the tags entirely bc i do occasionally see someone say something interesting#the struggle of having good opinions /s
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very funny situation I'm in where I got notifications of not one but Two concerts happening in like, 5 months, both in the sameish location and 3 days apart from each other. I would die
#this on top of me having to miss the like moths to flame concert this month bc we're going to see ostriches#i would die if i went to both so i think ill just go to in flames#trivium is at least in the US so the likelihood of them touring again is way higher#ALSO CAN PLACES SHOW CLOSER TO MEEE#i can figure it out for in flames probably but like. please stop holding things in la nobody likes la#fleshgod was nice and showed right down the block. and it was a lovely venue. can't you be more like fleshgod#veespeaks
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#WHY does browser tumblr show me posts from blogs i have blocked?#i don't CARE if it's a post about characters i like i don't want to see or have the option to reblog a gifset from someone i have blocked#and now i have to go filter the username in my post content filters#but when they inevitably change it and it doesn't hit my filters anymore#then there's nothing that tells me i have them blocked without clicking on the blog itself#what good does blocking everyone who jumped ship to put T in their username do if i still see their posts#and when they try to come crawling back to buddie and change their usernames back i won't know#because tumblr is STILL SHOWING ME THEIR POSTS even if i have them blocked!#ugh i might have to give in and update my app so it works#i just fucking hate the new video player/image viewer and i think it's shitty that they broke the app#so you can't view your dash or open a blog without updating you can just scroll tags and see notifications (but can't click them)#and your messages and inbox and settings but that's about it#ANYWAY#tumblr stop showing me posts from bt blogs that i have blocked challenge failed once again#yes yes it's gifsets of buck or oliver or even sometimes buddie but if they've got T in their username i do not trust them or want to see i#just let me block people and never see them again
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by any chance does anyone have any demon slayer fic recs where nezuko is actually more of a proper character and gets development and is allowed to grow? cause honestly the further i've gotten in this manga the more disappointed in it i've been with the lack of meaningful development, especially in nezuko
#no idea if this is actually a controversial opinion on the series cause i've not come across much criticism#but i do think it falls short on every character. the concepts are great and i enjoy the characters and had a lot of fun watching and#reading this series. but i do think that it fails to do much that's actually meaningful or impactful with any of the characters#ready to be disagreed with but i feel like the only development nezuko ever got was when she went to attack those humans and had to#be restrained by tanjirou. and it falls incredibly flat when she never really has any other struggles other than at the start of the series#i thought she was meant to be a main character but she's more like a set piece#maybe i'm just missing something cause i'm still about 50 chapters from the end. but i just got so disappointed after they did nothing with#her becoming sun resistant except pull a gag that i didn't want to pick the manga up again#like that was the chance to do more with her and finally give her development and let her relationships develop! and the fact that they did#nothing kind of highlighted to me that the series really hadn't done much with any of the characters#there's beats where it feels like there's growth but i don't actually know what about the characters has grown??? apart from getting a new#power and being stronger because of it#they don't grow as characters. and supposed development only ever happens during fights or off screen#anyway i should stop criticising. i'm just very disappointed cause i really enjoyed the manga and then that happened and it was like what's#the point#criticism#demon slayer criticism#<- so you can block the tag if you don't want to see this stuff#it feels very negative for the fact that you really can't expect much from shounen. and i DID enjoy it. it's just disappointing#(the shinobu thing is also annoying. like i like that she can't decapitate demons and that she uses poison but the reason for it being that#she's weak and small is bullshit and FEELS like it's written that way because she's a woman)
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I'm so happy that at least in motogp i can breathe without seeing russians because they are always lased in f1 history, they still try to push that fucking shwartzman there too and into indy, they are in wec. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE
And I can't even express my fury because I'm not gonna be called racist/nazi/xenophobic but when people do same thing to Israeli it's ok. I can't be angry at nation that killed my granddad my uncle and probably many more in my family tree. I can't be anything other than thankful for support even if it's never fucking enough because my timeline looks like necrolog.
All i see when I'm online is either other Ukrainians trying to crowdfund ammunition for our soldiers without much success because everyone and our economy is exhausted or news about how new forces join russians to kill us. It's their only goal.
And you can't just fucking cherry pick those russians you like to say that they aren't guilty. They need to embrace consequences of what their politicians are doing. You can't be innocent and russian at the same time, one of very few truly good russians died recently fighting on the side of Ukraine. Our outlook on life becoming so individualistic we don't realise that power is hold by masses, that if they wanted for war to stop those "simple russians" could just stop going to war. Their system is extremely corrupt, it's easy to escape being drafted. Only times they protest is when they get denied another app. There millions of them and somehow just dozens of those caught by police for protest. They just don't fucking care and you continue to defend them online
#I can't be angry at systematic genoside of Ukrainians that have been going for mych longer than I've been alive#I can't say wrong word or i get fucking torn apart by people with no empathy and too much internet presence#i need to patiently explain every single person in their dm's why russians are bad and why you shouldn't support them. i need to say it over#and over and over in hopes that someone gonna hear me and not just block#i need to be understanding of people not giving shit about what's going on here#and my god. sometimes i wish to just be striken by a missile so it all can stop#but it won't. it's just that other would need to fight then. and it's other that fight already because so many of people i looked up to#are already killed and long since buried. and it hurts every day. it never stops and alk i can do is go online and try to hide#only to be found by fucking russians in those “safe spaces” again#it never fucking ends#disclaimer that “you” in this post doesn't target anyone specific. there a lot of people online like that#MotoGP#f1#formula one#indycar#idk maybe someone gonna see this and understand something. but probably not#but I'm still hurting and i need to let it out at least once because I'm not sure if i ever let myself voice this
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Chapter 10 done \o/
#salad-txt#baby steps or something#hey time to bitch in the tags#a few weeks ago I was talking to a coworker (who knows I write) how I aim for 300w/day#and she was - absolutely serious btw - like that's so little#don't you usually do much more is that writer's block#and it's just so discouraging??#yes I did much more when I did nothing fucking else for 4-5 months#no lazying around playing games almost no book read#(also no gw expac in that year lol)#but I can't keep that up or I'll go insane and also can we not underestimate how hard it is to do it literally every day#perhaps it's not quite 300/day but one day 100 and one day 500 but I try to get a bit done every day and have 10k at the end of month#for months. oh a migraine an evening out or whatever. well those missing words keep piling up#i've done multiple nanos before I know that and I need a goal that's low enough I can recover a missed day or two without hating my life#and let's not go to where that also applies for everything else. but you did that once so you must be able to do that again don't be lazy#do you really believe the tone of 'well you did better once before so every other attempt is worthless' is encouraging??#nope makes me stop trying why bother if i am never gonna be good enough or if i am it will make future me more miserable
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Me: "Calling women by misogynistic slurs and wishing rape and/or death upon them is anti-feminist behavior regardless of your reason for doing so, including them being attracted to men. Also, domestic abuse and rape are the fault of the abuser/rapist, not his victim(s). This is basic feminism 101; even most libfems grasp this, and that's like first grade training-wheels feminism, so you, as a radfem, should have no problem with understanding it."
Some of y'all: "Homophobe! How dare you! *wishes death on me.* *wishes rape on me.* *wishes domestic violence on me.* Btw, anything bad that happens to you is your fault for being attracted to men, you *misogynistic slur*!"
Me:
Them:
Me: *blocks you* "K. Bye, Felicia!"
#Honestly if any of you think that I have any qualms with blocking the fake feminists on here from interacting with my posts#think again. I do NOT!!!#If you are like this stay tf off of my blog. And stop calling yourselves feminists if you can't even do the bare minimum. Yeesh!#Seriously I guess ANY ideology can be used as an excuse to bully others huh?#Mask off moment for some of you. Seriously why are some ppl so gross?!
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//btw apologies for the bad english, i swear i'm doing my best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#//reason number one i'm not writing long loooong things anymore: i got burn out using another language than my mother tongue and it got me#good so i'm trying my best to avoid that again if i can i do try for longer stuff but it's waaay harder and longer still got blocked when#tho trying lmaooooo//#//also people making fun of you and making no effort to help you when obviously you're struggling with that didn't help#//it's not an excuse just trying to put the issue into words???#//tho it's not bc i can't write longer stuff that you have to stop yourself from writing it i still have an issue WRITING not READING i#love reading my rp partners ramblings it makes me feel like they enjoy the interaction lol//#ooc;;asterrambles#ooc;;tobedeleted
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tears of the kingdom could have been so good if it were built around like, its story or its characters instead of being a clunky shell to show off the mechanic no one asked for that it forces you to use
#*#text#totk#mechanics#i had fun scuttling around in the depths for a while but that got old eventually. for obvious reasons#what i liked about zelda games was always the atmosphere and character interactions#like. one of my favorite games is twilight princess. which is. deeply unserious in many ways#bit it COMMITTED to its setting and what the writers went ham making sure#that it was still full of whimsy and affection.#totk doesn't have that. the characters are all 1) instruction manuals or 2) vehicles for what small and disparate semblances of plot#survived whatever disaster must have happened in development that made them cannibalize several different ideas#and stick them into the shell for the fucking. arm#totk plays like a gallery or again just an engine for the building thing.#it's pretty. the music is good. the building thing is well made. but as a zelda game totk Fucking Tanks#i HATE overinvolved mechanics. i HATE having to stop and rely on a Whole Process that i have to keep stocked#to get anything done. i've always liked loz again bc of characters and whimsy but also bc it's always been mechanically vert streamlined#and accessible to someone like me who is disabled and finds fiddling EXTREMELY tedious#you have one required tool per dungeon and they're QUICK they're SIMPLE they're A GOOD TIME#totk. to me. is just clunky and has no redeeming qualities outside of again being pretty and still sort of nominally letting you run around#collecting things. some of the side quests were cute. but even then the characters were very.#THE THING ABOUT ZELDA GAMES IS THAT IM used TO THEM BEING ABOUT. NOT JUST THE FUNCTION!!!!!!#there were things— many of them! sometimes most of them even!!!— there just for fun. again almost especially The Characters#totk is so goddamn UTILITARIAN on all levels ITS. CLUNKY and BORING i don't WANT to have to do 30 things just so i can do something else.#hey nintendo. if you have to force people to play your game. like if you specifically have an ''open'' game and then subsequently have to#manufacturer MANY blocks and caveats to the idea of ''do whatever have fun!!'' so that it's''but only how WE want you to''. maybe thats bad.#maybe you've done a bad job. if again. you have to FORCE players to go about things in the way and order that you want. it's no fun.#like even zelda games where you have less options and linear progression feel less restrictive bc like. they don't fucking punish you.#for. playing the game. you just can't do things. totk really punishes you for going off script. which like. why even do that.#anyway. this is all probably incoherent. i'm right tho.#wow there are so many typos. pretend there are not <3
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still posting d/mp is like so depressing for the amount of people who you see still supporting that guy . hi guys I've been offline for three years i sure hope that my favourite gamerboy didn't horrifically abuse his platform
#vwoop.noises#Over and Over and Over again.#You can't block from sides on mobile and I'm too lazy rn I just need to snipe people from my activity feed#Sorry 4 talking about that fella still but like. Idk. As someone Still in this space actively. Every day I am surprised#and sorry 4 no tags bc I don't want people who live in dscourse tags to come for me <3 Idc enough#It isn't like. A Lot. for the record. And they're incredibly transparent when you see them. They are just annoying.#You can do what you want. I guess. Truly I am not going to stop you. But I AM blocking for having to see cringe urls in my notes
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woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way
but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D
anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎
#sterechats :)#09:58 pm - this is a bad idea but scheduling it anyway#what's the worst that can happen really? everyone leaves again? nobody talks to me again?#probably gonna delete this in the morning so. meh. not like it matters not like I matter :D#10:29 pm - wow it feels like my head is on fire#like my brain is actually burning and I can't do a damn thing about it#I should be happy right now! the devils are winning! my favorite guys are scoring!#but no! I'm barely keeping it together around my family and praying I don't wake up tomorrow <3#11:00 pm - I need to get out of here#I need to get out of here out of here out of here I can't stay here any more this is killing me#everyone hates me and I need to chew my arms open maybe then everything will make sense#why am I even writing these tags what does it matter#I was so much more in control of myself when I was sh-ing#maybe I should get back to that maybe it'll help I don't know anymore#I just want my friends back but they hate me hahahaha#11:24 pm - wonder how many people are gonna block me after this one#how many people will finally be fed up and leave for good#everyone leaves and I should be used to this by now#here's a truck stop instead of saint peter's (yeah yeah yeah yeah)#11:41 pm - it's friday afternoon/there goes antigone to be buried alive#in the next world I want to be something useful/like a staple gun/or in love#I would fall off a cliff for you/a thousand times and call it a good day#maybe I'm just incapable of being human! maybe that's it!#maybe I'm not even human at all... but something worse instead...#1:22 am - moving the posting of this back from 3 to 6 am#not that that matters and not that I matter but I don't think I'll sleep#and I don't want this to post when I'm awake#I know I'm just going to get unfollowed and blocked and left behind as always#because happiness and good things and friendships just aren't things I get to have really#I just wish people would stop lying and telling me they're different and they'll stay when they're not different and won't stay
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